The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.
The Art of Charm podcast is an incredibly valuable resource for anyone looking to succeed in their professional career and personal life. Hosted by AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak, this podcast provides invaluable information and advice on socializing, networking, and building relationships. The episodes are filled with engaging conversations, insightful content, and actionable advice that listeners can apply in their daily lives. Whether you want to improve your social skills or gain a competitive edge in your career, this podcast is a must-listen.
One of the best aspects of The Art of Charm podcast is the wealth of knowledge and experience that AJ and Johnny bring to the table. With decades of combined experience in social confidence development, they have a deep understanding of human behavior and interpersonal dynamics. They consistently provide valuable insights and practical strategies that listeners can implement immediately. The podcast also features a wide range of expert guests who share their expertise on various topics related to personal growth and success.
Another standout aspect of this podcast is its focus on staying relevant to today's culture. AJ and Johnny make sure to address current trends and issues, ensuring that the content remains timely and applicable. They tackle topics such as resilience, self-compassion, social skills, networking, charisma, and more, providing a well-rounded approach to personal development.
While it's difficult to find any drawbacks to The Art of Charm podcast, some may find that certain episodes or topics may not resonate with them personally. However, with such a vast library of episodes covering a wide range of subjects, there is bound to be something for everyone.
In conclusion, The Art of Charm podcast is an exceptional resource for anyone seeking personal growth and success in their professional careers and relationships. AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak deliver insightful conversations packed with actionable advice that can truly transform one's life. The diverse range of topics covered ensures that there is something for every listener. This podcast comes highly recommended for anyone looking to gain an advantage in socializing, networking, and personal development.
Ever wonder why some people light up a room the moment they walk in? That's not luck — it's aura. In this episode, AJ and Johnny unpack the science and strategy behind building an authentic magnetic presence. From making people feel good in your company to inviting them into your passions and showing up fully present, you'll learn the repeatable steps that make others naturally gravitate toward you. Drawing from behavioral psychology and emotional intelligence research, they share how to master attention, turn validation into connection, and transform your energy into influence. Whether you're leading, dating, or networking, this episode gives you the blueprint for developing a presence that people remember — and want more of. What to Listen For [00:00:00] What “aura” really is — and how it's built [00:00:40] Why attention is the first step to influence [00:01:16] Turning any attention — even negative — into opportunity [00:02:08] The first pillar: make people feel good around you [00:02:34] Science of emotional validation and active responding [00:03:46] Emotional intelligence vs. being “just nice” [00:05:10] How to respond when others struggle or fail [00:06:08] Second pillar: invite people into your passions [00:07:21] Why hosting beats talking — and builds closeness fast [00:08:53] The “power of the invite” and how reciprocity builds aura [00:09:43] Third pillar: presence is the new status signal [00:10:50] The posture and body language that kill your aura [00:11:42] Final recap: feel good, share passion, stay present A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What makes people trust you faster, remember your message longer, and say “yes” more often? Behavioral science has the answers. In this episode, AJ and Johnny sit down with behavioral science expert and author Richard Shotton to break down the psychological tactics behind persuasion, trust, and influence that anyone—not just brands—can use. From the power of concrete language to the pratfall effect, messenger bias, social proof, and scarcity hacks, Richard explains why these timeless psychological triggers work just as well in networking and sales as they do in billion-dollar marketing campaigns. Whether you're trying to stand out in a crowded room or get people to take action, these strategies are your edge. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why ancient persuasion tactics still work today [00:00:53] Abstract vs. concrete language — why clarity wins [00:05:20] How Apple's “1000 songs in your pocket” made history [00:09:59] Why simple language makes you seem smarter [00:12:21] The pratfall effect — why flaws make you more likable [00:14:42] How to use the messenger effect to boost credibility [00:21:16] Social proof done right (and why most people get it wrong) [00:30:56] Scarcity and the pumpkin spice effect — why limits drive desire [00:36:23] Zeigarnik effect — the open loop that holds attention [00:51:40] Distinctiveness and the Liquid Death effect [00:55:42] How breaking small conventions signals status [00:57:05] Why giving people control boosts persuasion A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: Hacking the Human Mind: The behavioral science secrets Richard Shotton: Behavioural Science Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Most networking advice tells you to “be nice” — but nice is forgettable. In this episode, AJ and Johnny reveal the three hidden signals spies use to win rooms, open doors fast, and build influence without small talk. You'll learn how to spot the leader signal (who really runs the room), the wish signal (what someone quietly wants), and the fence signal (what they're protecting). These micro-signals determine who gets remembered, trusted, and invited back. Whether you're trying to close a deal, land a promotion, or make your next event actually count, this episode gives you the tactical networking playbook used by elite operators in high-stakes situations — and shows you how to apply it in everyday life. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why “being nice” fails and signals win rooms [00:00:25] The 3 hidden signals spies use to build influence [00:01:31] Leader, Wish, Fence — shortcuts to real connection [00:02:39] Real-world payoffs: sales, promotions, influence [00:03:16] How reading signals makes you memorable [00:04:10] The Leader Signal — spotting who really decides [00:05:29] The Wish Signal — catching emotional “tells” [00:07:27] The Fence Signal — respecting what's guarded [00:08:44] How to make a powerful “tiny ask” [00:09:41] Why correct reads build trust instantly [00:10:11] Tactical takeaways and playbook for your next event A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if the fastest way to future-proof your career isn't networking — it's owning your story? In this episode, AJ and Johnny sit down with Goldie Chan, Forbes columnist and founder of Goldie Builds, to unpack how personal branding creates opportunities long before résumés do. Goldie shares how she went from shy creator to “The Oprah of LinkedIn,” why introverts have a unique advantage in today's attention economy, and how anyone can build a personal brand without dancing on camera or posting every day. This conversation breaks down the simple, repeatable steps to make your digital footprint work for you. Whether you want to get noticed by recruiters, stand out in your field, or create more leverage in your career, this episode gives you the framework to build visibility and credibility on your own terms. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Goldie's unexpected journey from introvert to LinkedIn icon [00:02:15] Why your digital footprint matters more than your résumé [00:04:42] How 800 daily videos built a global brand [00:08:30] Overcoming “Cringe Mountain” and posting your first piece of content [00:13:20] Why personal branding gives you career leverage [00:18:45] How to start with just one post a month [00:24:30] The secret power of Employee Generated Content (EGC) [00:31:05] Why introverts can thrive in personal branding [00:36:42] Goldie's three steps to showing up authentically online [00:42:18] How to build visibility without burning out A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: Goldie Chan's LinkedIn Personal Branding for Introverts Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Ever had a five-minute conversation that felt like you'd known someone for years? That's not luck — it's a loop. In this short, high-impact episode, AJ and Johnny break down the 90-second formula for instant connection. You'll learn how to spot subtle “bids” for attention, validate emotional cues, and shift conversations from surface-level small talk to real trust and rapport. This isn't networking fluff — it's a science-backed conversational loop you can use in meetings, dates, sales calls, or social events to turn polite chats into powerful relationships. Whether you want to build influence, deepen trust fast, or simply stop missing connection opportunities, this episode gives you a repeatable framework to make conversations stick. What to Listen For [00:00:00] The 90-second loop for instant connection [00:00:31] Why polite conversations fall flat [00:00:52] What a “bid” is and how to spot it [00:02:06] How validation lowers threat and builds trust [00:03:14] The “we” bridge — shifting from me vs. you [00:04:51] Real-world example: meeting someone new at an event [00:07:21] Using the loop in client and sales conversations [00:09:20] Emotional signals to listen for (and mirror) [00:11:24] How “we statements” build subconscious connection [00:12:32] The micro step — why small, soon, and specific wins [00:14:14] Common mistakes that break connection [00:16:38] Final recap: Spot. Validate. Bridge. Micro step. A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if peak performance isn't about superhumans — but about biology? In this powerful conversation, AJ and Johnny sit down with New York Times bestselling author and flow researcher Steven Kotler to reveal why we're all hardwired for the extraordinary. From 1990s action sports to neuroscience labs, Steven breaks down the science of flow, how communities amplify creativity, and how you can unlock heightened focus, creativity, and resilience — no matter your background. Discover how flow states work in the brain, why nature is a “multi-tool solution” against burnout, how frustration signals progress (not failure), and the simple daily practices that make extraordinary performance repeatable. This episode will show you why elite performers across industries aren't chasing hacks — they're mastering biology. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why flow states prevent burnout and boost resilience [00:01:10] The 1990s action sports revolution and redefining “impossible” [00:04:00] How creativity became the key flow trigger that changed everything [00:07:00] Punk rock, DIY culture, and the psychology of innovation [00:10:30] Flow and community: how group flow amplifies performance [00:15:00] Micro flow vs. macro flow — and why both matter [00:18:30] The myth of “10% brain” and what actually happens in flow [00:22:00] Nature as a peak performance “multi-tool” [00:26:30] Flow triggers for everyday conversations and relationships [00:33:00] Group flow, improvisation, and the power of “yes, and” [00:35:30] The 6 positive psychology basics that build burnout immunity [00:43:00] Why gratitude isn't fluffy — it rewires your brain for optimism [00:50:00] Resetting your nervous system through flow [00:53:00] Small “i” impossibles: how extraordinary starts [00:57:00] Why frustration is proof you're on the right track [01:03:00] The real path to mastering passion and purpose A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: Steven Kotler: Author and Speaker The Art of Impossible: A Peak Performance Primer Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if the secret to modern influence was 2,000 years old? In this episode of Social Intelligence Brief, AJ and Johnny uncover Cicero's three-step formula for magnetic persuasion—a framework so powerful it once stopped riots and still drives billion-dollar pitches today. Drawing on ancient rhetoric, neuroscience, and modern leadership psychology, they reveal how to frame problems, layer reasoning, and close with intensity—the timeless skills behind every great communicator. From Roman courts to boardrooms, you'll learn how to turn logic into emotion, guide attention like a conductor, and leave any audience moved to act. Whether you're leading a meeting, pitching investors, or navigating conflict, this episode shows you how Cicero's forgotten formula can help you speak with conviction—and influence with integrity. What to Listen For [00:00:00] How Cicero turned chaos into persuasion—his 3-step model [00:01:12] Why structure—not charisma—is the key to attention [00:02:10] Step 1: Frame the problem to define reality [00:03:22] The modern VP example—how framing shifts energy and focus [00:04:00] Step 2: Layer your reasons (fact → value → emotion) [00:05:12] The neuroscience of stories and why emotion seals logic [00:06:10] Step 3: Close with intensity, not volume [00:07:05] The psychology of endings—why the close is all people remember [00:08:10] The 3-question test for persuasive clarity [00:08:40] Final recap: Frame it. Layer it. Close it. A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Brief DescriptionWhy do some people always seem “lucky” while others miss out? In this episode, AJ and Johnny sit down with Wharton economics professor Judd Kessler, author of Lucky by Design, to reveal the hidden rules that govern life's most important markets—from dating to job hunting to Taylor Swift tickets. These “choose me” markets don't run on money alone; they run on signals, timing, and strategy. You'll learn why signaling interest often beats being perfect, how “settling for silver” can land you gold, and why gaming the system sometimes backfires. Judd breaks down strategies for college admissions, career opportunities, dating apps, and even Costco parking lots. Whether you're chasing a dream job, trying to stand out in dating, or just fighting bots for concert tickets, this conversation shows you how to design your own luck. What to Listen For [00:01:04] What it means to be “lucky by design” and why hidden markets matter [00:02:11] Taylor Swift tickets, hot restaurants, and how hidden rules decide who wins [00:05:15] “Choose me” markets—jobs, schools, and dating—where the other side decides [00:07:29] The two signals that matter most: competence and real interest [00:10:22] Johnny's story of breaking into bands through excitement and persistence [00:13:24] Why idiosyncratic (weird) signals often work better than safe ones [00:19:39] Costly signals—when to use them, and when they're wasted [00:21:41] The strategy of “settling for silver” to actually win [00:27:05] When gaming the system works—and when it backfires [00:29:53] Designing your inbox and attention like a market [00:35:20] How a strong plan B lets you go for gold [00:37:38] Costco parking lots as the perfect example of hidden strategy [00:47:17] Hidden markets at home: sharing chores and mental load with equity [00:55:05] Why ticket resale markets frustrate Judd—and how he wants to fix them A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: Judd B. Kessler Lucky By Design Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if confidence wasn't in your head, but in your posture? In this episode, AJ and Johnny unpack the science of body language and embodied cognition—how standing tall, opening your chest, and taking up space sends powerful signals to your brain and to everyone around you. Backed by psychology research, they show how posture isn't just a reflection of mood—it actively creates it. You'll discover why slumped shoulders and “phone posture” leak low status, while upright, expansive body language instantly boosts mood, confidence, and presence. From the “doorway drill” to quick body checks, AJ and Johnny share practical tools to reset your default signals so you project confidence in every meeting, date, or social interaction—before you even say a word. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why posture changes your mood, confidence, and signals [00:01:19] How unconscious slumping leaks insecurity—and how body checks fix it [00:02:48] The epidemic of phone posture and desk work destroying confidence [00:03:13] Embodied cognition: how your body teaches your mind to feel safe or defeated [00:04:04] Research: upright posture increases self-esteem, mood, and processing speed [00:04:28] Power posing and why expansive body language boosts risk tolerance [00:05:16] The posture loop: stand tall, make eye contact, take up space, smile [00:06:03] The doorway drill: reset your posture every time you walk through a door [00:07:04] Client story: how Jim rewired his posture with reminders and changed his default [00:07:43] Why confidence is easier to control through body language than thoughts A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Are we drowning in psychobabble? In this episode, AJ and Johnny sit down with psychotherapist and author Joe Nucci to debunk the viral mental health myths dominating social media. From the overuse of “trauma” and “gaslighting” to the idea that everyone needs therapy, Joe exposes how pop-psychology has blurred the lines between real treatment and trendy jargon. They dig into why therapy has become a status symbol, how diagnoses are being misused as identity labels, and the dangers of weaponizing terms like narcissism in dating and relationships. Joe also explains what gaslighting actually is (and why it can't happen in a single argument), and how social media is encouraging unhealthy identity-seeking through mental health labels. Whether you've rolled your eyes at overused buzzwords online—or wondered if you're guilty of using them yourself—this conversation will help you cut through the noise, spot real red flags, and separate genuine mental health wisdom from misleading myths. What to Listen For [00:00:22] Defining psychobabble—why using therapy language as weapons is so common [00:03:23] Why we crave explanations—and how psychobabble gives false certainty [00:04:52] Myth #1: “Everybody needs therapy”—why it's not true [00:07:36] How therapy turned into a status symbol and dating requirement [00:12:59] Is more intimacy always better? Why therapy shouldn't replace real connection [00:17:18] Myth #2: “Everyone has trauma”—the real definition of trauma vs. pop culture [00:25:39] Myth #3: “Your diagnosis is your identity”—why labels aren't the end point [00:32:30] How “awkward” became “neurodivergent”—the dangers of expanding definitions [00:36:25] Why “everyone's ex is a narcissist” has become toxic for relationships [00:46:25] The real definition of gaslighting—and why it takes time, not one fight [00:52:01] How true gaslighting destroys self-trust and why casual misuse is harmful [00:53:36] Where to find Joe's book Psychobabble: Viral Mental Health Myths and the Truths That Will Set You Free A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: Joe Nucci Psychobabble Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why do some people command instant respect without saying a word? In this episode, AJ and Johnny reveal the four high value signals that separate quiet authority from desperate posturing. Respect isn't about aggression, volume, or proving you belong—it's about presence. With research from Harvard and Frame Strength studies, they unpack how calmness, cooperation, congruent body language, and responsibility change the way people see you in any room. You'll learn why calm authority beats dominance, why spotlighting others actually raises your own status, and how subtle shifts in posture and eye contact project confidence before you speak. Through client stories and science-backed insights, AJ and Johnny show how these hidden behaviors flip the script—turning you from overlooked to magnetic. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why respect isn't about dominance but presence [00:01:20] Calm authority as the strongest frame in any room [00:02:08] Why cooperation—not competition—earns lasting respect [00:02:34] How spotlighting others signals leadership [00:02:48] Congruent body language and stillness as confidence cues [00:03:31] Why intentional goals erase nervous energy [00:04:37] Taking responsibility as the ultimate trust builder [00:06:05] Client story: Shane's promotion after flipping competitive signals [00:06:47] Low value vs. high value: notice me vs. I notice you [00:07:50] Weekly challenge: practice one high value signal per day [00:08:13] How the Influence Index reveals your default signals A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if your emotions weren't problems to fix, but signals to guide you? Dr. Marc Brackett, founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of Permission to Feel and Dealing with Feeling, joins AJ and Johnny to break down why most of us were never taught real emotional regulation—and how to finally build it. Marc shares the RULER framework (Recognize, Understand, Label, Express, Regulate) and explains why emotional regulation is less about suppression and more about awareness, vocabulary, and strategy. From the “emotional budget” that gets depleted by sleep loss and stress, to the critical difference between anxiety, stress, and fear, this conversation reframes emotions as tools for better decision-making, relationships, and performance. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, mislabeled your emotions, or struggled to manage reactions in parenting, work, or conflict, this episode gives you practical science-backed steps to regulate instead of ruminate. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why we're programmed early to self-sabotage and mismanage emotions [00:01:09] Why most of us were never taught emotional regulation—and why it matters [00:03:33] How emotions secretly drive decision-making, relationships, and health [00:04:59] The concept of an “emotional regulation budget” and why sleep, food, and stress deplete it [00:06:57] Why scheduling wellbeing time is as important as scheduling work [00:11:15] Why 80% of students dropped out of Marc's mindfulness study—and what it reveals about achievement culture [00:16:24] Why there's no such thing as a “bad” emotion and how reframing anxiety changes everything [00:23:15] The real difference between anxiety, stress, and fear—and why labeling matters [00:27:16] Parenting and co-regulation: how to model emotional regulation for kids [00:31:03] How childhood programming and self-talk sabotage our ability to cope [00:39:37] Building emotional vocabulary: inside the How We Feel app with 500+ emotion words [00:46:17] What to do when you're “flooded” and overwhelmed in conflict [00:48:55] The RULER framework explained: recognize, understand, label, express, regulate A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: MarcBrackett.com Dealing with Feeling Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if laughter wasn't just fun—but a social superpower? In this episode, AJ and Johnny unpack the science of laughter and why it's one of the strongest signals of connection, trust, and influence. Far more than a reaction to humor, laughter is a primal bonding mechanism that makes you more memorable, likable, and magnetic. They break down why people laugh even when nothing's funny, how laughter spreads through mirror neurons, and why it's one of the easiest ways to shift group dynamics in your favor. With insights from research in psychology and evolutionary biology, plus client stories, AJ and Johnny reveal how to use laughter as a tool—not a trick—for stronger relationships, better networking, and higher social intelligence. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why laughter evolved as a bonding tool, not just a reaction to humor [00:01:12] The contagious effect of laughter and how mirror neurons spread emotion [00:02:43] Why people laugh to signal belonging—even when nothing is funny [00:04:11] The role of laughter in reducing tension and disarming conflict [00:06:05] Client story: how one simple laugh shifted a networking event [00:07:39] Why “fake laughter” still works to open doors [00:09:02] The difference between laughing with and laughing at—and why it matters [00:10:48] Laughter as a high-value signal of confidence and comfort [00:12:26] How to strategically use laughter to strengthen influence [00:13:57] Weekly challenge: practice laughter as a connector, not a performance A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why do some people make every conversation better? Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist and author Charles Duhigg (Supercommunicators, The Power of Habit) returns to reveal the science behind connection that anyone can learn. In this conversation with AJ and Johnny, Charles explains why “super communicators” aren't extroverts or natural charmers—they're people who consistently use a handful of skills that make others feel smart, heard, and valued. From NASA astronaut interviews to speed dating experiments, Charles shares practical techniques like “looping for understanding,” perspective-getting, and callbacks that transform awkward or tense moments into genuine connection. Whether you're navigating conflict with your boss, strengthening friendships, or reconnecting with someone after years apart, these tools will help you communicate with intention, build trust, and leave every conversation stronger than when it started. What to Listen For [00:00:00] What makes a “super communicator” and why it's not charisma [00:01:22] The Dartmouth study on “high centrality” people who make teams gel [00:03:08] Why the best leaders ask instead of tell [00:04:19] Communication as a skill—not a personality trait [00:07:38] Laughter as a social signal, not just humor [00:09:34] Why friendships at work predict happiness and retention [00:15:14] How to start tough conversations with clarity and intention [00:23:05] Proving you listened: the power of looping for understanding [00:26:01] Why understanding each other matters more than agreeing [00:33:27] Three steps for navigating difficult conversations (deep question, declare intention, acknowledge discomfort) [00:42:24] How callbacks drive connection—from speed dating to parenting [00:45:55] Charles' daily practice for staying connected and curious A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: Charles Duhigg Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Ever wonder why people don't take you seriously—even when you're smart and hardworking? In this episode, AJ and Johnny reveal the three most common low value signals that quietly repel respect: being supplicative (begging for approval), combative (using force or intimidation), and competitive (constantly one-upping). Backed by research from UCLA, Harvard, and game theory, they explain how these blind spots sabotage influence and connection—and how to flip them into high value behaviors that attract trust, respect, and opportunity. You'll learn why excessive apologizing, fake “alpha” dominance, and relentless bragging send the wrong message, and how small shifts—like standing tall, reframing with “we” language, and spotlighting others—instantly change how people respond to you. If you've ever felt overlooked, underestimated, or like your hard work isn't respected, this episode shows you how to break free from low value patterns and project real confidence. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why people don't take you seriously: the hidden impact of low value signals [00:01:02] Supplicative behaviors—apologizing, shrinking, and begging for approval [00:02:36] The “nice guy” conundrum: why being accommodating makes you forgettable [00:03:25] Combative behaviors—dominance, intimidation, and fake alpha posturing [00:03:48] Why real strength is presence, not shouting [00:04:14] Competitive behaviors—one-upping, bragging, and name-dropping [00:05:31] Why constant competition makes you high-maintenance [00:06:03] High achievers' blind spot: mistaking resumes for personality [00:06:24] Client story: Jim's sales calls flipped once he stopped proving himself [00:07:21] The three low value signals summed up—and the high value alternative [00:07:46] Weekly challenge: audit your signals and flip them into high value behaviors [00:08:11] Take the free Influence Index quiz to discover your influence score A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why do some people rise effortlessly while others go unnoticed? Toby E. Stuart, Leo Helzel Distinguished Professor of Business Administration at UC Berkeley's Haas School of Business, joins AJ and Johnny to reveal how social status—not just talent—shapes careers, opportunities, and success. Drawing from decades of research on social networks and status dynamics, Toby explains why recognition compounds like interest, why affiliation often matters more than merit, and how “anointing” can quietly decide who wins in today's winner-take-most world. From Nobel Prizes to Michelin stars to online platforms like Yelp, Stuart uncovers the paradox of prestige: success is as much about who endorses you as what you achieve. He also explores the dark side of status—scams, pressure to maintain it, and the loneliness of reaching the top. If you've ever felt overlooked despite strong results, this episode exposes the hidden rules of the status game and how to finally play it smarter. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why affiliation and endorsements boost status more than raw merit [00:01:17] The Matthew Effect: small early wins snowball into long-term success [00:03:14] How identity shapes evaluation—Lord Rayleigh's “voodoo science” story [00:06:05] Achieved vs. ascribed status and why both determine outcomes [00:08:32] Algorithms as modern gatekeepers of status [00:13:16] Why “anointers” now include platforms like Instagram, LinkedIn, and Yelp [00:17:26] How status transfers through networks like kinetic energy [00:23:25] The rise (and risk) of gaming the status system [00:27:42] The hamster wheel of high status: pressure, scrutiny, and imposter syndrome [00:33:42] Why authentic friendships become harder at the top [00:40:29] The future of status in the age of AI and algorithms A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: TobyStuart.com Annointed Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Do you avoid conflict—or use it to grow your influence? In this episode, AJ and Johnny share a science-backed framework for conflict resolution that transforms tense moments into opportunities for trust and leadership. Drawing on John Gottman's research on relationships and Google's Project Aristotle findings on high-performing teams, they reveal why conflict isn't a problem to eliminate—it's a chance to deepen respect and build long-term influence. You'll learn a step-by-step system to handle everyday workplace and relationship conflicts without burning bridges: lead with value, accept responsibility, show empathy, and present solutions that create buy-in. With stories from clients like Marcus, a consultant at BCG, AJ and Johnny show how mastering conflict resolution can make you the person others turn to when stakes are high. If you've ever felt conflict-averse, this episode gives you practical tools to stay calm, confident, and in control. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why avoiding conflict costs you influence [00:00:56] How conflict avoidance limits your “career chessboard” moves [00:01:27] The science of conflict: shifting from “me vs. you” to “us vs. the problem” [00:02:43] The High-Value Conflict Framework explained [00:03:28] Step 1: Lead with value to disarm defensiveness [00:03:54] Step 2: Accept responsibility without weakness [00:06:23] Step 3: Use empathy and “we” language to build trust [00:07:26] Step 4: Present options, not ultimatums [00:09:18] Why well-resolved conflicts create stronger bonds [00:11:03] Client story: how Marcus became the go-to conflict solver [00:11:29] Why mastering conflict is the ticket to influence A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why do brilliant individuals so often create dysfunctional groups? AJ and Johnny sit down with organizational behavior professor Colin Fisher, author of The Collective Edge, to unpack the science of collaboration and why most teams achieve less than the sum of their parts. From the rise of individualism to the misunderstood role of psychological safety, Colin explains why we get group projects wrong—and what it really takes to create synergy. They explore why conformity isn't always bad, how to design groups that avoid wasted meetings, why hierarchy quietly kills dissent, and how healthy conflict (not harmony) fuels breakthroughs. Whether you're running a team, stuck in endless meetings, or dreading your next group project, this episode gives you the science-backed playbook for making groups work. What to Listen For [00:00:20] Why groups fail despite individual brilliance [00:01:07] How a government scandal inspired Colin's research on groupthink [00:02:26] Why some conformity pressure is necessary for groups [00:04:26] The “fundamental attribution error” and our bias toward individual heroes [00:06:30] Why most meetings are badly designed and destroy synergy [00:10:15] Colin's experience as a musician—and what bands teach us about synergy [00:15:23] How hierarchy silences voices and breeds groupthink [00:20:17] The real meaning of psychological safety (hint: it's not kumbaya) [00:24:52] How to bring out contributions from introverts [00:32:41] The warning signs of dysfunctional conformity [00:35:43] Task conflict vs. relationship conflict—and why one helps and the other destroys [00:44:38] Rethinking leadership as a team sport, not an individual role A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: ColinMFisher.com The Collective Edge Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if your charisma started before you even spoke a word? In this episode, AJ and Johnny reveal how to make a magnetic entrance—one that commands attention, sparks curiosity, and creates an instant window of opportunity. Drawing on Princeton research showing impressions form in just a tenth of a second, they unpack why body language and micro-behaviors matter more than anything you say. You'll learn the difference between the “nice guy entrance” that keeps you invisible and the deliberate, charismatic entrance that signals composure, awareness, and confidence. From posture and pauses to eye contact and subtle acknowledgments, AJ and Johnny show you how to turn heads the moment you walk through the door—and how to convert that attention into influence with what they call conversation radar. What to Listen For [00:00:00] The Princeton research that shatters the “7 second” first impression myth [00:02:00] The “nice guy entrance” and why it keeps you invisible [00:03:27] The charismatic entrance: posture, pause, and scanning the room [00:04:54] How nods, winks, and subtle acknowledgments spark curiosity [00:06:26] Why deliberate stillness and micro-pauses signal authority [00:07:44] How rushing through a door leaks anxiety and discomfort [00:09:01] Steve McQueen's secret to always drawing attention on screen [00:12:01] Client story: Derek shifts from invisible engineer to magnetic connector [00:13:42] How to listen for identity markers and turn attention into influence A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if the very questions keeping you up at night were the key to moving forward? In this episode, AJ and Johnny sit down with author Elizabeth Weingarten to challenge the tired advice to “embrace uncertainty” and show how reframing it as an invitation—not a problem—unlocks growth in career, relationships, and life. Drawing from her book How to Fall in Love with Questions, she shares how patience, courage, curiosity, and community help us stop chasing premature answers and instead thrive in the unknown, offering a practical framework to create meaning even when the future is unclear. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why “embrace uncertainty” is tone-deaf advice [00:02:15] Defining uncertainty: doubt that delays progress [00:05:07] Elizabeth's personal crossroads: marriage doubts and a failing project [00:07:02] Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet and the idea of “living the questions” [00:10:22] The human craving for certainty—and how it misleads us [00:16:02] Patience as a creative and relational superpower [00:20:05] Why patience without courage keeps us stuck [00:26:14] Building a “questions practice” to reframe binary thinking [00:33:19] Barbara's story: identity shift after paralysis as freedom, not loss [00:40:03] Loving the questions as an act of self-compassion [00:44:13] First step: ask if your question narrows you—or opens possibility A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: Elizabeth's Website How to Fall in Love with Questions Letters to a Young Poet Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if the biggest wins in your career, relationships, and social life didn't require three separate strategies? In this episode, AJ and Johnny reveal the Social Domino Effect—how one small, high-leverage shift can cascade into success across every domain of your life. They unpack why confidence, chemistry, and connection all draw from the same meta-skills, why social capital compounds like financial capital, and how to identify your first domino. With real client stories and research in psychology and network theory, this episode shows how to stop playing three different games—and start tipping one domino that knocks them all down. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Introducing the Social Domino Effect—one shift, multiple wins [00:01:45] Client story: Spencer focused on dating—and unlocked career and social wins too [00:02:16] How positive emotions broaden options and create resource-building momentum [00:03:15] From dating coaches to life strategy: how Art of Charm expanded beyond its roots [00:05:21] The trap of treating career, romance, and social life as separate games [00:05:39] Meta-skills: why reading the room or telling stories spill across domains [00:07:34] Choosing cross-domain skills like deep listening and confident initiation [00:08:18] Why practicing in low-stakes environments tips the first domino [00:09:47] Practicing stories across contexts to strengthen them for every audience A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Executive coach and former CEO Martin Dubin joins AJ and Johnny to reveal the hidden blind spots that quietly sabotage leaders and high performers. From the Dunning–Kruger effect to the “fishbowl” and “cabana” phenomena, Marty shows how strengths overused become weaknesses, and why true growth requires identity shifts, not just behavior tweaks. Packed with practical insights, he explains why emotions are data, how leaders unintentionally communicate even when silent, and why luck often comes down to context and fit. Whether you're climbing the ladder or running the show, Marty offers a toolkit to see yourself clearly and lead more effectively. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Defining blind spots—and why they appear during change [00:02:16] Why leaders at the top get less feedback and stagnate [00:06:15] Strengths turning into liabilities when overused [00:09:36] Identity vs. behavior: making the leap from executor to strategist [00:12:41] Emotions as data: awareness, regulation, and reading others [00:17:27] Stress, bottling up emotions, and worse decision-making [00:23:16] The “TOO” test: when confidence, decisiveness, or organization go too far [00:28:02] AJ's technique: asking “What am I missing?” to reopen input [00:32:06] The fishbowl and cabana effects: how leaders send unspoken signals [00:36:22] Why copying billionaires fails—and how to adapt to your own context [00:41:37] Acting “as if” to prepare for your next role [00:46:42] Tools from Marty's book Blindspotting to identify your own blind spots A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: Martin's Website BlindSpotting Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Ever leave a meeting thinking it went fine… but something didn't land? In this concise training, AJ and Johnny unpack the five levels of listening and the “conversation radar” that lets you hear what others don't say. You'll learn how to move beyond facts and small talk into context, what's left unsaid, and meaning—so people feel seen, trust you faster, and want to keep the conversation going. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why “it went fine” isn't enough—introducing conversation radar [00:00:40] High-quality listening lowers defensiveness; oxytocin & trust [00:02:27] What years of video breakdowns revealed about real listening [00:04:21] Five levels overview and the Oscar Trimboli inspiration [00:05:14] Level 1: Self-focused—seeking to be understood vs. to understand [00:06:55] Level 2: Content—facts only = forgettable, low impact [00:08:32] Level 3: Context—tone, timing, rhythm; role-play on ambivalence [00:10:50] Level 4: What's unsaid—notice omissions; kids vs. work example [00:13:17] Level 5: Meaning—identity, values; reflective listening > shared experience [00:14:37] The 4-step practice drill to use all five levels today [00:15:35] How to train conversation radar (program mention & link) A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode Resources Oscar Trimboli | The Art of better Listening - Art of Charm Ep.#726 Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Economist and researcher Bill von Hippel joins AJ and Johnny to unpack a surprising question: if modern life is safer, richer, and more comfortable than ever, why do studies suggest hunter-gatherers were happier than we are? Bill shares insights from a decade of studying the “social paradox” — the gap between our material progress and our emotional satisfaction. They explore what ancient communities had that we've lost, how modern conveniences can backfire on our wellbeing, and why relationships, purpose, and shared struggle might matter more than comfort and entertainment. Bill also explains how rethinking connection, gratitude, and challenge can help us reclaim the fulfillment our ancestors enjoyed. What to Listen For [00:00:16] Bill defines the “social paradox” and why it fascinated him [00:00:45] Why hunter-gatherers may have been happier despite hardship [00:02:14] The hidden downsides of modern convenience and abundance [00:04:38] How community bonds shaped happiness in ancient societies [00:07:52] The role of shared struggle in creating meaning [00:10:05] Practical ways to bring ancient principles into modern life [00:12:47] Why more comfort doesn't always mean more joy A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: View Bill's Books on Amazon Bill's Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
AJ and Johnny reveal the hidden layer of charisma most people ignore—what they call “conversation radar.” It's not about perfect lines or clever comebacks, but tuning into tone, timing, and what's left unsaid. Drawing on client stories, dating experiments, and neuroscience, they show how this overlooked skill transforms first dates, sales calls, and even long-term relationships. They explain the two “channels” of communication—words and frequency—and why the latter is the real key to connection. You'll learn how to spot emotional cues, read identity markers, and respond to energy instead of scripts, creating moments that make you unforgettable. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why charisma is more about listening than speaking [00:00:59] How tech is eroding our empathy and radar skills [00:02:11] The difference between Channel 1 (words) and Channel 2 (frequency) [00:02:49] Client story: From boring first dates to magnetic conversations [00:04:03] AJ's dating experiment—ditching prep to trust his radar [00:06:15] How “listening” can fail if you ignore tone and emotion [00:07:35] The science behind theory of mind and mirror neurons [00:08:20] Why people-pleasing kills authentic connection [00:09:23] How high performers use emotional cues to close more deals [00:10:45] The real reason charm feels rare in today's world [00:11:55] Practical cues to spot and respond to in your next conversation A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why do some people stand out and get ahead—even when they're not the most qualified? In this episode, AJ and Johnny sit down with Harvard professor and author Laura Huang to unpack the hidden force she calls “edge”—and how anyone can create it. Laura shares how to turn bias into opportunity, why adversity can actually be an advantage, and what successful people do differently when it comes to perception and presence. With insights from years of research and personal experience, she reveals how to sharpen your signals, own your story, and make others believe in your value before you even speak. If you've ever felt overlooked or underestimated, this episode gives you the roadmap to flip the script. What to Listen For [00:00:00] What is “edge” and why it matters more than credentials [00:02:45] How Laura's own story shaped her research [00:05:29] The real difference between hustle and strategic effort [00:08:17] Why perceptions matter more than you think [00:11:06] How to reframe bias as a tool, not a limitation [00:14:22] Turning stereotypes into signals of strength [00:17:38] What successful people do to make others believe in them [00:21:05] The four components of creating your edge [00:24:46] Laura's advice for standing out in competitive environments [00:27:12] How to own your narrative and signal confidence A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: Laura Huang's Website EDGE Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If you dread networking events, this episode explains why — and how to flip the script. AJ and Johnny break down the toxic "always be closing" mindset and show how high performers actually build deep connections that lead to real opportunity. Hear the story of Ryan, a client who 10x'd his sales by ditching the pitch and leading with value. You'll learn how to use emotional intelligence, curiosity, and validation to become magnetic at any event — without chasing anyone. [00:00:00] Why "closing the deal" is the wrong goal in social settings [00:02:41] How Ryan turned things around by shifting his approach [00:04:59] The 3 social habits that repel high-value connections [00:07:26] A smarter way to approach networking events [00:09:01] The role of validation and emotional bids in influence [00:11:33] Why your intentions are more visible than you think [00:13:18] Tactical relationship-building for introverts and pros alike A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: HowardFalco.com Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Former FBI crisis negotiator Gary Noesner joins AJ and Johnny to unpack what it means to lead—and survive—under pressure. With over 30 years of field experience in prison riots, armed standoffs, and emotionally charged confrontations, Gary reveals what separates panic from poise and noise from influence. They break down the psychological mechanics of negotiation, how to build trust when lives are at stake, and why the best negotiators don't dominate—they disarm. Gary also shares how emotional neutrality, tone of voice, and even silence can be decisive tools when everything is on the line. Whether you're navigating a boardroom, a conflict, or your own internal reactions, this episode gives you an elite mental framework forged in the FBI's toughest scenarios. What to Listen For[00:00:00] Gary's 30-year FBI career and what makes a good negotiator[00:03:49] The difference between control and dominance in conflict[00:07:16] What “emotional neutrality” really means in crisis situations[00:11:02] Why listening can be more powerful than persuasion[00:14:35] The importance of tone and tempo in gaining trust[00:17:58] How Gary handles aggression without escalating it[00:21:40] The role of ego in failed negotiations[00:26:33] Gary's rules for de-escalating fast-moving tension[00:30:19] What civilians get wrong about confrontation[00:33:44] Takeaways from three decades of high-stakes negotiation A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: GaryNoesner.com Stalling for Time Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Most people dread small talk. But in this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ and Johnny explain why it's not about the weather, jobs, or generic questions—it's about emotional connection. Discover the science of “emotional bids,” a concept from Dr. John Gottman that unlocks deeper conversations and lasting influence. AJ shares a real story of using this skill at a high-stakes networking event, while Johnny shows how emotional validation can turn awkward exchanges into moments that matter. Whether you're meeting new people, trying to stand out in a crowd, or just want to feel more socially confident, this three-step framework will change the way you communicate forever. What to Listen For: [00:00:00] Why most people hate small talk—and why they're wrong [00:02:20] The hidden purpose of small talk: emotional diagnostics [00:03:37] How memory and conversation are tied to heightened states [00:05:25] AJ's breakthrough moment at a high-profile DC event [00:07:16] Emotional bids explained with real-world examples [00:09:35] The 3 types of responses to emotional bids [00:10:39] Why validation increases trust and influence [00:11:35] Johnny's "tin can" metaphor for relationship-building [00:13:36] Client story: From frozen out to followed up [00:14:39] The 3-step formula to transform small talk into deep talk A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: HowardFalco.com Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What does it really mean to reclaim your power? In this deep and grounded episode of Social Intelligence, AJ and Johnny talk with transformation coach Howard Falco about why so many men feel off-track—even when they're doing all the “right” things. Howard reveals why insight alone isn't enough, and how true transformation only happens when we confront ourselves, embody stillness, and live in full alignment. From breaking spiritual performance habits to building inner strength, this episode is a call to live with energy, truth, and direction. What to listen for: [00:00:00] Why intellectual insight doesn't equal transformation [00:04:42] The trap of spiritual performance and emotional bypassing [00:08:37] Why men feel lost even after “doing the work” [00:11:12] The role of embodiment in building internal power [00:14:25] How stillness reveals what you're really avoiding [00:18:49] Leading yourself before leading others [00:22:03] What true self-trust feels like—and how to build it [00:26:16] The difference between hype energy and grounded energy [00:29:58] Why you don't need to be fixed—you need to be clear [00:33:45] Howard's message for men who feel disconnected or stuck A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: HowardFalco.com Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why do some people walk into a room and instantly attract attention, introductions, and opportunities—while others grind endlessly and get ignored? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ and Johnny break down the science of social gravity—a real, research-backed force that explains how connection works like attraction, not effort. They reveal the five key drivers that increase your social “mass,” from showing up to adding value, and how trust, similarity, and usefulness make you magnetic. If you're tired of chasing validation and ready to start drawing others to you naturally, this episode outlines the playbook. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Social gravity explained: why connection is like gravity, not hustle [00:01:24] The science behind mass: trust, visibility, and perceived closeness [00:02:23] Five drivers of pull: proximity, similarity, positive affect, trust, instrumentality [00:03:24] Why simply showing up builds momentum and visibility [00:03:53] Similarity bias: how to signal shared identity in conversation [00:05:18] The underrated power of warmth and enthusiasm in social settings [00:07:02] Reciprocity and trust: how adding value attracts others [00:09:47] Becoming useful: why helping others boosts your social value [00:11:24] Network centrality: how to build influence across multiple groups [00:12:43] The gravity loop: how clients become the ones people chase A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if the key to change isn't willpower—but persuasion? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak sit down with Jay Heinrichs, bestselling author and renowned rhetoric expert, to uncover how the ancient tools of persuasion can be turned inward. Drawing from Aristotle, Taylor Swift, and even personal injury, Jay reveals how to reframe identity, build emotional endurance, and use the “dark art” of rhetoric for transformation. From redefining suffering as training to manipulating yourself into greatness, this episode offers practical strategies and philosophical insights for anyone stuck in cycles of self-doubt, burnout, or stagnation. If you've ever wanted to master your inner dialogue, this conversation will arm you with the tools to rewrite your story and reclaim agency. What to Listen For[00:00:00] Persuading yourself: the ancient secret to real change[00:05:06] The absurd goal that pulled Jay out of self-pity[00:08:37] Aristotle's identity formula: craft, caring, cause[00:12:41] How 300 painful shots became “training” through reframing[00:17:44] The rhetorical trick introverts use to fake extroversion[00:19:07] A ninth-grade confidence hack that still works[00:21:24] Why catchy rhythms rewire your brain (and boost belief)[00:24:35] Taylor Swift's treadmill ritual—and the power of prep[00:27:44] Manipulating yourself without lying to yourself[00:33:32] Donut or apple? How shame beats guilt for better choices[00:36:47] The mindset shift before running a mountain[00:41:58] Turning chaos into opportunity with kairos[00:47:49] A quick trick to bounce back from failure[00:50:11] Why timing—not talent—made Jay's book a bestseller A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: JayHeinrichs.com How Ancient Rhetoric, Taylor Swift, and Your Own Soul Can Help You Change Your Life Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Do people like you… but never seem to respect you? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak reveal the hidden social trap of being “too agreeable.” While it might seem like the best way to build rapport, research shows that excessive agreeableness actually suppresses your influence, erodes your authenticity, and leads to burnout. You'll learn why likability isn't the goal—and how the Three C Model (Challenge, Curiosity, and Contrast) can transform your conversations into memorable, high-impact interactions that demand attention and build real connection. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why being likable doesn't make you more influential [00:01:15] The hidden cost of being predictably agreeable: burnout and boredom [00:02:27] Why people won't respect your time if you don't value it first [00:04:00] Agreeableness suppresses authenticity—and makes others trust you less [00:04:37] The Harvard study: Why respectful disagreement builds stronger connection [00:06:28] The Three C Model for breaking free from the “nice” trap [00:07:13] How to challenge respectfully without sounding combative [00:07:55] Curiosity with intention: The secret to deepening conversations [00:08:21] Contrast with authenticity: Sharing personal truths to build influence [00:10:44] Why most people operate from a worldview they never chose [00:12:04] Mistake #3: Agreeing when you actually disagree [00:12:42] Likability ≠ connection—how hiding your thoughts delays rejection [00:13:08] What is “productive friction” and why it makes you unforgettable [00:13:54] Take the Influence Index assessment to uncover your social blind spots A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Can being "too smart" actually hold you back socially? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak sit down with Anne-Laure Le Cunff—founder of Ness Labs and a former Googler turned neuroscience researcher—to explore the psychology of overthinking, social fatigue, and emotional connection for high performers. If you've ever felt drained after socializing, struggled to connect in unstructured conversations, or defaulted to overanalyzing instead of just vibing, Anne-Laure's insights will change how you see your brain—and your relationships. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Meet Anne-Laure: Neuroscience researcher, entrepreneur, and former Googler [00:02:01] What inspired Anne-Laure to walk away from Silicon Valley [00:04:02] The science of mental fitness: training your mind like a muscle [00:05:42] Why smart people often struggle in social settings [00:07:50] Overthinking vs. high thinking: what's the difference? [00:09:20] Anne-Laure's framework for emotional granularity [00:11:03] The hidden impact of unspoken emotions on your connections [00:12:42] How journaling and reflection sharpen your emotional vocabulary [00:14:35] Real-time self-awareness: catching yourself before you spiral [00:16:04] Why smart people default to logic instead of connection—and how to fix it [00:18:20] The loneliness trap of overperformance [00:20:03] How Anne-Laure blends neuroscience with self-compassion [00:22:01] The importance of emotional bandwidth and recovery [00:24:40] What socially intelligent people do differently after high-effort conversations [00:27:20] Tools for restoring your energy after social drain [00:29:00] Why connection doesn't mean constant performance [00:31:05] Anne-Laure's advice for other deep thinkers navigating real relationships A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Episode resources: https://anne-laure.net/ Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If you've ever felt invisible in a room full of people, it's not your personality—it's your presence. In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ and John unpack the three research-backed traits that make people charismatic, memorable, and magnetic—whether you're an introvert or not. You'll learn how charisma isn't a gift you're born with, but a skill you can train. From mastering body language to showing emotional generosity, this episode delivers the tools to light up every room you walk into—without faking it or burning out. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why charisma beats competence in winning attention and influence[00:01:30] The Harvard study that proves social intelligence matters more than IQ[00:03:00] Syncing with others: why charismatic people create biological resonance[00:04:00] How charisma helps introverts use energy efficiently—not drain it[00:05:00] Trait #1: Presence — why micro-pauses and ditching your phone matter[00:06:30] The hedge fund manager who finally nailed charisma by showing up differently[00:08:00] Trait #2: Enthusiasm — the underrated superpower of emotional generosity[00:09:30] Why asking, “What do you love about your job?” instantly creates connection[00:11:00] Trait #3: Confidence — the body leads the mind, not the other way around[00:12:30] Smiling, posture, and anchoring the room: the nonverbal signs of true confidence[00:14:00] How to mentally prep for presence: “Who do I want to be? How do I want them to feel?”[00:15:30] Weekly challenge: your three-part field test for real-time charisma training Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
When high-stakes emotions hit — anger, anxiety, fear — most people default to either freezing or reacting. In this episode of Social Intelligence, Dr. Ryan Fehr, a leadership professor at the University of Washington, shares tools that help Navy SEALs, Fortune 500 execs, and everyday professionals regulate emotions under pressure. Ryan and AJ discuss how to train your brain to respond—rather than react—in critical moments, build emotional range, and use discomfort as a performance advantage. If you've ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “Why did I say that?”—this episode will show you how to stay in control when it matters most. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why emotional intelligence beats raw intellect under pressure[00:04:32] How to keep your cool during hard conversations[00:07:15] Why naming your emotions gives you back control (affect labeling)[00:11:28] The one mindset trick elite performers use to slow time during chaos[00:15:40] Why “emotional range” is more important than positivity[00:20:11] A Navy SEAL's approach to mastering fear[00:24:57] How to recognize your “emotional dashboard” before you blow up[00:29:45] Why overconfidence is emotionally blinding — and how to fix it[00:36:01] How Ryan teaches emotional control to MBA students and CEOs[00:42:16] Emotional safety in leadership: what the research actually shows[00:47:20] A 10-second tool to stay grounded when you want to explode[00:51:55] What to do after an emotional failure — the self-compassion loop A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Dr. Abbie Marono's website The Upper Hand Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this short, tactical episode, AJ and Johnny deliver a science-backed masterclass on how to create presentations that audiences remember. Forget reading from your slides and dumping data. This episode outlines four proven strategies that top speakers use to captivate attention, boost retention, and make every talk land with clarity and impact. What to Listen For: [00:00] The brutal truth: people forget 90% of what they hear[00:58] Strategy #1: Control the 10% – what's the one thing they should remember?[01:44] The science behind memory decay and how to structure around it[03:05] Strategy #2: Use the Memory Curve – why timing matters more than you think[04:12] Why you must “open with fire and close with clarity”[05:23] Strategy #3: Kill the Split-Attention Effect – how to avoid losing your audience to your slides[06:32] Minimal text, bold visuals, and Phil Jackson's secret to motivating elite performers[07:58] Strategy #4: Prevent Cognitive Overload – why more data = less retention[09:04] The Rule of Three: a high-performer's framework for simplifying complex ideas[10:12] Recap of the 4 strategies that separate forgettable from impactful[10:46] How top performers “wire it” – real-world drills inside the X-Factor Accelerator[11:15] What “persuasion triggers” are—and how they level up leaders in real time A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Dr. Abbie Marono's website The Upper Hand Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why do some leaders command respect while others get ignored? In this episode of Social Intelligence, Stanford professor and venture capitalist Robert Siegel breaks down the overlooked behaviors that separate average performers from high-impact leaders. Drawing on decades of research and real-world business experience, Robert shares how humility, listening, and honest self-reflection are the key ingredients to long-term success. You'll learn how to thrive in chaotic environments, shift from control to trust, and build loyalty in the people you lead — whether you're running a startup, a classroom, or a family. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why Robert's background in tech and venture capital revealed a pattern in great leaders[00:03:11] What leaders miss when they mistake charisma for competence[00:07:19] The value of slowing down and listening — even when you're under pressure[00:10:32] Why being the smartest person in the room can make you ineffective[00:14:09] Lessons from Motorola: how “hero culture” undermined the team[00:18:23] The danger of over-optimizing for control instead of building trust[00:25:00] The “credibility bank account” and how it affects influence and decision-making[00:31:11] What CEOs often miss about emotional intelligence[00:38:30] The role of humility in hiring, managing, and growing a company[00:44:15] Why balancing empathy and execution is the mark of a real leader[00:51:20] The underrated superpower of asking good questions instead of giving answers[00:56:42] What Robert teaches his Stanford students about legacy and influence A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Dr. Abbie Marono's website The Upper Hand Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Most people attend networking events hoping something good happens. High-performers don't hope — they engineer connection. In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ and John share a 3-part framework for dominating networking events without faking extroversion or relying on luck. You'll learn how to build relationships before the event even starts, create social capital in real-time, and make sure your connections actually turn into opportunities after the event. If you're tired of leaving conferences with nothing but a stack of business cards, this is your blueprint for finally making networking work. What to Listen For [00:00:00] The problem with most networking: business cards, but no real relationships[00:01:00] Strategy 1: Host a private dinner before the event to create instant connections[00:03:00] How one client turned a simple dinner into the most talked-about moment of the conference[00:04:40] The science behind why pre-event exposure boosts trust (Mere Exposure Effect)[00:06:00] Strategy 2: How to become a super-connector — even if you're introverted[00:07:48] How live introductions instantly raise your status and social capital[00:08:53] Strategy 3: Get hyper-specific about who you want to meet[00:10:00] Why vague networking goals lead to vague results[00:11:00] The follow-up system: 60-90 minutes that turn conversations into real opportunities[00:12:07] How the pre-event dinner creates a collaborative "team" approach to networking[00:14:09] Swing for the fences: how one client landed a keynote speaker at dinner[00:15:12] The magic of networking happens before and after—not during A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Most people think influence is about clever tactics or quick wins. But true, lasting influence is built on trust, emotional intelligence, and understanding how people really think. In this episode of Social Intelligence, Abbie Morano returns to reveal her 5-principle framework for ethical influence — combining biology, psychology, and social dynamics. Abbie breaks down why short-term manipulation backfires, how to guide conversations by giving others control, and why your own emotional regulation is the foundation for building real trust. If you want to increase your influence in high-stakes conversations, negotiations, or leadership, this is the playbook. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why ethical influence starts with regulating your own emotions[00:04:00] The difference between manipulation and pro-social engineering[00:07:17] Why short-term wins lead to long-term losses[00:10:00] Abbie's 5 core principles for influence: bio-psycho-social framework[00:15:00] How triggering survival instincts blocks trust and cooperation[00:20:42] The danger of ultimatums—and how they backfire in negotiations[00:23:00] How “structured choices” increase compliance while preserving control[00:26:20] Why authenticity isn't a tactic—it's a long-term advantage[00:34:00] The power of “pantsing yourself” to defuse conflict and lower aggression[00:41:00] How self-identity shapes every influence conversation[00:52:47] How to prepare for high-stakes conversations using the full framework[01:00:12] Why emotional regulation is the first step toward true influence A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Dr. Abbie Marono's website The Upper Hand Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
You only get one shot at a first impression—and most of it happens before you even speak. In this episode, AJ and John break down the four science-backed factors that shape how people instantly judge your presence, confidence, and trustworthiness. Whether you're walking into a job interview, a networking event, or a first date, you'll get actionable strategies to control the room from the moment you walk in. From body language and clothing to the psychology of where you stand in a room, this episode reveals the subtle social cues that silently make or break your first impression. Stick around for the 5-minute upgrade challenge at the end to rewire your muscle memory and command attention effortlessly. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why high-stakes moments make us hyper-aware—and how to stay grounded[00:01:06] Why it can take 10 interactions to fix a bad first impression[00:02:00] The body language science that explains how people judge you in 6 seconds[00:03:00] Why your health, energy, and confidence are silently being evaluated[00:04:27] The “Glow Up” effect: how working out boosts your presence[00:05:00] How to use the “Doorway Drill” to reprogram your posture and vibe[00:07:00] The power of enclothed cognition: how clothes impact your mindset[00:08:57] How style and grooming signal status—without saying a word[00:09:21] Why standing in the shadows destroys your social proof[00:10:44] The 4-step “First Impression Challenge” to prime your body and mind[00:11:00] Visual cue trick to make confident posture automatic[00:12:21] How to walk into any room like you own it A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Speak, Memorably: The Art of Captivating an Audience Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If you think good communication means saying more, think again. Emmy-winning journalist and executive coach Bill McGowan joins AJ and Johnny to reveal the science of saying less—but meaning more. From boardrooms to interviews, Bill has coached some of the world's top leaders (and celebrities) to craft compelling, unforgettable messages—and today, he's sharing the playbook. In this episode, you'll learn how to ditch jargon, avoid rambling, and master your “media moment.” Whether you're giving a presentation, going on a first date, or handling a tough question at work, this is your guide to sounding confident, concise, and charismatic under pressure. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why overexplaining hurts your credibility[00:03:45] The power of “soundbite thinking” and how to master it[00:07:12] How to speak with authority—without sounding rehearsed[00:10:26] Why strong visuals beat fancy vocabulary in storytelling[00:13:19] The secret to controlling your body language under pressure[00:15:54] Why silence is one of the most persuasive communication tools[00:20:46] The “message box” framework used by media pros[00:26:17] How to be memorable when you only have 30 seconds[00:35:21] Why “smooth talkers” often come across as insincere[00:45:07] How to prep for tough questions without sounding scripted[00:54:32] Final advice: the three words to avoid in every presentation Episode Takeaways Brevity is credibility: People trust speakers who get to the point “Soundbite” training prepares you to be remembered—not just heard Strategic silence creates impact and signals confidence Storytelling drives emotional engagement more than stats ever can The best communicators speak with rhythm, not speed Being memorable isn't accidental—it's trained A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Speak, Memorably: The Art of Captivating an Audience Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Most people think confidence means knowing exactly what to say. But in reality, social confidence starts with knowing how to start—not how to be perfect. In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak break down how to overcome the awkwardness of small talk, crush anxiety before it starts, and connect instantly in any room. You'll learn the three best ways to open a conversation (even if you're nervous), why the “question trap” makes you less likable, and how to train your brain to love social situations. Whether you're walking into a party, a networking event, or just standing in line at a coffee shop, this episode gives you the exact tools to go from anxious to magnetic. What to listen for 00:00:00] Why social confidence isn't about charm—it's about reps[00:01:32] The hidden reason small talk feels so hard[00:03:06] Three bulletproof openers that work in any situation[00:05:12] The “Q&A-S” method to keep a conversation flowing[00:06:48] Why your brain shuts down in social moments—and how to stop it[00:08:15] Reframing nerves as energy, not anxiety[00:09:43] The exposure ladder: how to train social confidence[00:11:03] One challenge to level up your next five conversations Episode takeaways Social confidence is a muscle—repetition builds ease The best openers are simple, contextual, and observational Avoid the “question trap”—use question, answer, statement instead Nervousness and excitement feel the same—your label creates your experience Your brain mirrors your inner dialogue—speak to yourself like you would a friend Use an “exposure ladder” to gradually rewire social fear into connection Magnetic people aren't born—they're built through consistent reps A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Anna Goldfarb on Substack Anna Goldfarb on Instagram Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Modern life has made friendship feel more confusing, fragile, and isolating than ever. In this episode, journalist and author Anna Goldfarb joins us to unpack the paradox of modern friendship — why we're lonelier despite being more connected, and what we can do to build stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Anna shares her “Triple D” framework (Desire, Diligence, Delight) and breaks down the hidden architecture of great friendships: clear aboutness, healthy compartmentalization, emotional maturity, and the courage to reconnect. Whether you're tired of being everyone's unpaid therapist or simply wondering how to revive a drifting connection, this episode gives you the practical tools and emotional insight to reset your social life — no cringe required. What to Listen For [00:00] Why affection alone isn't enough for deep friendship [00:01:09] What's changed about adult friendships — and why we're feeling more disconnected [00:04:16] The hidden cost of unlimited choice and hyper-individualism [00:08:07] Active vs. nostalgic friendships: how to tell the difference [00:11:19] Every great friendship has an “About” — and here's how to find yours [00:14:39] 6 hard truths about friendship (and how to stop blaming yourself) [00:23:01] Why emotional maturity is the new social skillset [00:33:56] The Triple D framework for building strong friendships [00:44:10] How to avoid being an unpaid therapist (and stop pushing people away) [00:52:34] The Friendship Cleanse: reset your network with clarity and care Episode Takeaways: Connection isn't about quantity — it's about clear shared meaning. Find your friendship “About.” It's okay to compartmentalize your relationships. Not every friend needs to be your everything. Friendships require maintenance. If it matters, don't let the silence stretch too long. Maturity means asking: am I showing up the way I want to be treated? Most people want to reconnect. They're just waiting on someone to go first. Make time for delight. Reignite friendships by creating new shared memories — not just rehashing old ones. A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Anna Goldfarb on Substack Anna Goldfarb on Instagram Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
You've got names in your phone that make you smile—but when's the last time you actually reached out? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak share four simple, science-backed strategies to reconnect with old friends, former mentors, and professional contacts—even if it's been years. From “because I thought of you” texts to expert taps and nostalgia sparks, this is your action plan for rebuilding relationships that matter. If you've been waiting for the perfect moment to reach out, this episode is your sign to stop waiting and start reconnecting. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why reconnection matters—and why it feels harder than it actually is [00:03:00] Why people appreciate surprise check-ins more than you think [00:04:30] Strategy #1: The Expert Tap—ask for advice to reignite respect [00:06:30] Strategy #2: The Thoughtful Share—send content that reflects shared interests [00:08:30] Strategy #3: The Nostalgia Spark—use memories to bring back connection [00:09:30] Strategy #4: The Results Loop—follow up on past advice to show impact [00:10:30] Why mentors love hearing the outcome of their guidance [00:12:00] This week's challenge: Reconnect with 3 people using any strategy Episode Takeaways Most people love being contacted out of the blue, even if it's been years Rebuilding old relationships is often faster and more impactful than making new ones Use the Expert Tap to ask for advice—it shows respect and reignites connection Send a Thoughtful Share (article, podcast, project) to rekindle shared interests Trigger warm emotions through Nostalgia Sparks—photos or throwback memories Close the Results Loop by showing how someone's past advice helped you Reaching out adds real value to others' lives and strengthens your network long-term This week: reconnect with one friend, one mentor, and one former coworker Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this episode of The Art of Charm, we sit down with Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener and Professor Christian van Nieuwerburgh, authors of Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection. Together, they unpack a new framework for transforming your conversations—not with better scripts, but with sharper intention. Drawing from psychology, coaching, and decades of research, we explore the six listening motivations, why “active listening” falls short, and how to avoid the silent killers of connection—like half-listening, politeness, and certainty. Whether you're leading a team, navigating tough conversations, or simply tired of being misunderstood, this episode is a masterclass in making people feel truly seen, heard, and valued. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Introduction [00:03:08] What is Radical Listening and how does it go beyond active listening? [00:06:49] Six listening intentions—and how they change everything [00:09:55] How to set the stage for hard conversations with appreciation, not authority [00:17:34] Why quick, genuine care matters more than long, empty check-ins [00:25:17] The myth of being a “great listener” and what most high performers miss [00:34:33] Why watching yourself on video can instantly improve your listening [00:38:12] What does “listening for” versus “listening to” actually mean? [00:45:33] The real cost of half-listening—and why it breaks trust [00:51:26] How to interject without interrupting—and why it's actually radical empathy Episode Takeaways: You're not being ignored because you're unimportant—people are stuck in half-attention. Flip the script by modeling radical listening. Start with intention. Every conversation is a choice—validate, influence, learn, support. Know what you're there to do. Interruptions aren't rude if they're respectful. Interject to amplify, not hijack. In your leadership, it's not what you say—it's how you show you care. A 60-second check-in can change someone's entire day. Half-listening is worse than not listening at all. Either be fully present—or ask to talk later.The best listeners aren't born—they're trained. Develop your awareness like a skill, not a trait. A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection CoachOnAMotorcycle.com (Christian's site) IntentionalHappiness.com (Robert's site) Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Moving to a new city can feel like starting over—but it doesn't have to. In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak break down a science-backed three-step strategy to plug into a brand-new social circle in weeks, not months. Whether you're relocating or just looking to shake up your current routine, you'll learn how to find the right spaces, start meaningful conversations, and turn physical activity into instant connection. Plus, you'll walk away with this week's Triple Stack Challenge that jumpstarts your social success. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why moving is the perfect moment to build a better social life [00:02:00] The danger of bubble living—and how to break out of it [00:03:30] What is a “third place” and why it's the secret to meeting new people [00:07:30] Johnny's story: How bartending made him everyone's first friend [00:09:00] Client story: How Luke built a social circle through a run club and open mic [00:10:00] Framework #2: The “Because Disclosure” to trigger instant trust [00:12:00] How to make small talk meaningful with personal micro-disclosure [00:13:00] Framework #3: Use physical activity to create social glue [00:14:00] Client story: From workouts to racketball to finding your tribe [00:15:00] Weekly Practice Plan: Block time, script disclosures, and test workouts [00:16:00] Triple Stack Challenge: Third place → Opener → Invite Episode Takeaways Within the first 90 days of moving, forming one close tie can increase happiness by over 50% Avoid "bubble living" by identifying a third place outside work and home Repeated presence at third places creates propinquity—we like who we see often Use “because disclosures” to spark trust and show vulnerability instantly Even trivial reasons build connection, thanks to Ellen Langer's Xerox study Join group physical activities (run clubs, fitness classes, rec sports) for biochemical bonding Use the Triple Stack: Pick a third place, open with a disclosure, invite to an activity Prep matters—script disclosures, treat social outings like meetings, and take brief notes after interactions to increase recall and follow-up success A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. DCM Insights The Activator Advantage: What Today's Rainmakers Do Differently The Challenger Sale: Taking Control of the Customer Conversation HBR: What Today's Rainmakers Do Differently AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this episode of The Art of Charm, we sit down with Matt Dixon, co-author of The Challenger Sale and The Activator Advantage. In today's conversation, Matt Dixon reveals why the professionals dominating in today's market aren't necessarily the most credentialed, but the most proactive. We explore Matt's research across 3,000 professionals and break down the five business development personas, highlighting the unique traits and habits that make the “Activator” profile the highest performer of them all. Whether you're in sales, consulting, law, or simply trying to future-proof your career, adopting the activator mindset can radically shift how you're perceived and what doors open next. This episode will show you how to stop waiting for opportunity—and start creating it. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why clients forget about you—and how activators stay top of mind [00:01:14] The 5 business development personas and why activators win [00:09:56] Data shows activators are the top performers—and least likely to fail [00:17:52] How activators manage their network like a pipeline—not a popularity contest [00:24:13] The myth of being annoying: why clients want more outreach, not less [00:33:08] “No” isn't the end: how activators turn rejection into opportunity [00:39:24] The 4-part insight framework for opening doors with ideas [00:45:57] Why you must prune stale relationships to stay high-impact [00:54:49] The activator approach to events: plan, target, and follow through [01:01:53] Don't just post on LinkedIn—why DMs and engagement matter more Episode Takeaways: Activators don't rely on being top of mind—they engineer it by adding value consistently. Smart professionals build leverage by helping others long before there's anything to gain. Great client relationships aren't the result of great work—they're often the cause of it. Build trust early, not just after the sale. No doesn't mean never. Activators stay present, learn why they lost, and often get the callback when things go sideways. Learn to prune. Keep your “inner circle” warm. Everyone else? Let them go. A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. DCM Insights The Activator Advantage: What Today's Rainmakers Do Differently The Challenger Sale: Taking Control of the Customer Conversation HBR: What Today's Rainmakers Do Differently AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Most networking advice feels awkward, outdated, or downright useless—until now. In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak hand you three conversation frameworks that eliminate the stress of small talk and turn fleeting chats into lasting relationships. Whether you dread mixers or freeze up trying to sell your value, this episode walks you through one opener, one value exchange, and one graceful exit line that make you the most memorable person in the room. Plus, you'll learn why your follow-up rates are failing—and how to fix them in under 30 seconds. What to Listen For [00:00:00] The "name badge invisibility" feeling and why mixers cause anxiety [00:02:00] Starter Line Framework: Make observations that spark real conversations [00:06:00] Value Exchange Framework: Flip small talk into collaboration [00:08:30] How to offer value without sounding salesy or forced [00:10:30] Client story: How one line turned a stranger into a business partner [00:13:30] The Peak-End Rule and how to leave people remembering you fondly [00:14:30] Follow-up hack: 25% boost in memory with a two-line recap [00:16:00] This week's challenge: Run the loop—starter, value, exit—and DM your results Episode Takeaways People consistently underestimate how much others like them—this is called the liking gap Use context-rich openers that are novel and observational to stand out in any crowd Instead of pitching, build bridges with value recognition and small favors A clear, appreciative exit is often the most memorable part of the interaction The Peak-End Rule means people judge conversations by the emotional high point and ending Write down just two lines after a conversation to increase your recall and follow-up success Preparing just three lines before a mixer can turn dread into confidence Great networking isn't about working the room—it's about running the loop with intent Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! A Word From Our Sponsors Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Negotiations Collective website Scott Tillema's website Scott Tillema on LinkedIn AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this episode of The Art of Charm, retired SWAT hostage negotiator Scott Tillema shares his battle-tested four-part framework for leading difficult conversations, defusing high-stakes conflicts, and influencing others with clarity and confidence. Trained by the FBI and Harvard, Scott now brings these skills to the boardroom, equipping leaders with the same life-saving tools he once used in crisis negotiations. Whether you're navigating a tense meeting, resolving conflict on your team, or having a hard conversation at home, this episode will show you how to lead with calm authority. Scott reveals why tactical empathy is more powerful than persuasion, how to control your emotional state when the pressure's on, and what most people get wrong about timing, tone, and respect. [00:00:00] Introduction [00:02:47] Why your negotiation partner is not your opponent — and how that shift changes everything [00:10:50] The biggest mistake leaders make when trying to influence others [00:16:02] How to mentally prepare for high-pressure conversations using tactical breathing [00:22:34] The transformation that happens when you stop learning and start embodying [00:27:15] How to know when it's the right time to speak — and when it's too soon [00:30:46] Delivery over content: Why how you say it matters more than what you say [00:34:19] The four pillars of respect that drive every meaningful negotiation [00:38:40] How autonomy — even in small doses — creates buy-in and trust [00:43:22] A high-stakes negotiation that failed — and what Scott learned from it [00:49:04] Why you should never tell someone you're reading their body language You're negotiating all the time — with your boss, your spouse, your coworkers. If you want influence, connection comes first. The best negotiators aren't master persuaders. They're master listeners. Tactical empathy isn't manipulation. It's leadership. People don't respond to logic — they respond to tone, timing, and emotional safety. Respect isn't about politeness — it's about fairness, autonomy, recognition, and empathy. Conflict isn't a threat. It's an opportunity to lead with poise and purpose. Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Negotiations Collective website Scott Tillema's website Scott Tillema on LinkedIn AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok What to Listen ForEpisode Takeaways:A Word From Our SponsorsResources from this EpisodeCheck in with AJ and Johnny! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What does it actually mean to be "high value" at a networking event—and how can you radiate it without saying a word? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak break down how calm, cooperative, and confident behavior—not bravado—builds real influence. They share the science behind why people are drawn to prestige-based status, reveal the nonverbal signals that instantly raise your value, and explain how one client transformed from anxious to unforgettable using a technique you can try this week. If you've ever felt invisible in high-pressure rooms or unsure how to make lasting impressions, this episode gives you the tools to be the most memorable person in any space. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why high-value presence isn't about controlling the conversation [00:01:00] The seven-second rule: First impressions are fast and lasting [00:04:00] Emotional contagion and how people feel your value before they hear it [00:07:00] Calm is a power move: How to regulate energy at high-anxiety events [00:12:00] Case Study: How “Aaron” became the standout at a major conference [00:17:30] What to say when you're caught off guard in a group conversation [00:20:00] How to attract people without chasing them [00:22:00] Three-step challenge to be high value at your next event Episode Takeaways First impressions are made in seven seconds—calm energy signals confidence Prestige-based status builds longer, deeper influence than dominance People feel your value before they assess your skills, thanks to mirror neurons The AAA Formula—Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation—creates magnetic presence Exposure therapy helps reduce anxiety and build real confidence under pressure Elevating others (deep compliments, appreciation) increases your own value Body language speaks first—prepare before you even enter the room Being high value isn't about being loud; it's about being felt and remembered The Art of Charm Social Intelligence ProgramLooking to quickly improve your social intelligence with support from AJ, Johnny, and their team? Check out the Art of Charm Social Intelligence Program at intel.theartofcharm.com. A quick application gets you on board. In your next conversation, start by sharing a small vulnerability or flaw When they respond, label the emotion you hear in their story Before leaving, ask for advice (not feedback or validation) Try all three in one conversation and report back what changed, who opened up, and what surprised you.Email AJ your results AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok What to Listen ForEpisode Takeaways:A Word From Our SponsorsThis Week's ChallengeCheck in with AJ and Johnny! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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