Podcasts about Horseshit

Wake Up & Smell The Freedom with Amanda & Larken Rose 1984 on steroids? Global totalitarianism on the march? Liberty on life support? HORSESHIT. Amanda & Larken Rose return to the Outer Limits of Inner Truth to awaken from your doom-scrolling slumber. They reveal major advances in the freedom movement and why fundamentally as species, humans are migrating away from tyranny. Host Ryan McCormick often refers to Larken as "The Dr. Phil of The Freedom Movement." This episode covers the recent US election, why many covidians are finally coming to terms with their past behavior, and several reasons why there is hope for the future. About Larken Rose The author of several books—including “The Most Dangerous Superstition” and the novel, “The Iron Web”— Larken Rose has been an outspoken advocate of the principles of self-ownership, non-aggression and a stateless society for over two decades, giving in-person talks at dozens of events, and producing many hundreds of articles and videos, including “If You Were King,” “The Tiny Dot,” “The Jones Plantation,” and “It Can't Happen Here!.” Rose's film “Jones Plantation” (2023) is a blockbuster hit and has received millions of views worldwide. About Amanda Rose Amanda is a liberty loving entrepreneur and activist who became passionate about freedom activism during the Ron Paul campaign, and is co-creator of The Candles In The Dark seminar. She is a mother, an entrepreneur, crypto enthusiast, nature and philosophy-loving writer and voice artist who is planning to produce liberty music with Larken Rose in the near future. Website: www.therosechannel.com ------------------------- "Jones Plantation" is a 2023 drama directed by Andrew Treglia, based on Larken Rose's short fable. The film explores themes of control and freedom, set against the backdrop of a cotton plantation where enslaved individuals grapple with their circumstances. "Jones Plantation" is accessible for streaming on platforms like The Roku Channel and Tubi TV. It can also be rented or purchased via Apple TV and Amazon Video. Here are some notable quotes from the movie: Tobias Smith: "You can control a man for a time with brute violence, but you cannot truly OWN a man unless he thinks your word is law, and he must obey—and is virtuous for doing so." Tobias Smith: "Give a man power over another, and you'll see his darker side come out." Samuel: "If we are really free, how can they control when we can speak?" Samuel: "Why should we obey their rules? We didn't agree to this. They forced this upon us. They have tricked you into thinking that choosing your own master is the same as being free."   Amanda & Larken Rose podcast, Outer Limits of Inner Truth, freedom movement advancements, liberty vs tyranny, global totalitarianism analysis, hope for the future, post-covid reflection, Larken Rose author, The Most Dangerous Superstition, Jones Plantation film, Amanda Rose activist, liberty entrepreneurship, Candles In The Dark seminar, Ron Paul campaign inspiration, stateless society advocacy, non-aggression principles, Jones Plantation movie streaming, liberty music collaboration.

Alan and Lionel are joined by Michael Lewis, the bestselling author of The Big Short and The Blind Side.His new book Going Infinite chronicles the rise and fall of Sam Bankman-Fried, the tycoon behind the crypto-trading company FTX.When the company collapsed, and it was discovered that Bankman-Fried had stolen billions of dollars from customers, it ultimately landed him a prison sentence.Michael was fascinated by Bankman-Fried, watching this story unravel before his eyes. But when Alan raises some criticisms of the book, the interview gets heated.Media Confidential's interviews are also published on YouTube every Friday morning. To watch this explosive interview, and more “idiot questions” from our hosts, simply go to YouTube and search for ‘Prospect Magazine'. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can friends become lovers?Based on a post by Quinn_McMullen, in 7 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels.Chapter 1.Two years ago, my wife passed away. Processing the grief has been difficult because it has forced me to reconcile with my new identity as a widower. Supportive friends, neighbors, and colleagues have tried to help get me out of the house and away from the memories. Asking me to join their social events like fundraisers, parties, and cookouts have been great gestures, but I have yet to accept. I don’t feel that I am quite ready for that much socializing, so I stay home and curl up with a good book.It was a little past six on a warm Friday evening in mid-August. Dinner and the cleanup were complete. I settled down in one of the rocking chairs on my porch with my well-worn copy of The Fellowship of the Ring. The sun was just beginning to set behind one of the large maples on the west side of my property. About an hour and a half of filtered sunlight remained to enjoy the evening breezes and read about Frodo’s adventures in Middle Earth. There was a horn toot on the road and I looked up to see Christina Ashby’s blue hybrid turning into the drive.Chrissy and I are both professors at the local college. Although she is 20 years my junior, she is one of my closest and dearest friends. Our friendship goes back eight years to when she first arrived at the college. Since neither her family, nor mine is close by, we have tended to look out for one another. For example, when Chrissy and her husband Jack came down with the flu, my wife Rosalind and I took them food, went to the pharmacy, and helped nurse them back to health. When Roz was sick, Chrissy brought me meals and tidied up around my house. She spent hours with me at Hospice House and was at my side when Rosalind passed away. Chrissy and Jack have continued to look out for me since. I have been a frequent dinner guest, they brought me into their home for the holidays, and Chrissy has come by regularly to check up on me. I was pretty sure that that’s what this was; a wellness check.My relationship with Chrissy has also been flirtatious, but completely platonic. Whenever I am having a conversation with her, we lock into some serious eye contact, not a couple of seconds, but rather several minutes at a time. I get lost in her brown eyes. It’s as if we undergo a mind meld and I can’t look away.I try hard not to be the dirty old professor around campus. The abundance of enticing female flesh that our co-eds display makes that very difficult. For example, when going up the stairs, I always look at the ground for fear of being caught looking up a young woman’s skirt. In person, I spend a lot of time looking into their eyes. With Chrissy it is no different. Her shapely breasts; her firm, toned butt; and her curvy hips present an attractive figure that my eyes are instinctively drawn to. I began looking at her eyes because I didn’t want her to see me checking her out. Looking into her eyes has now become an addiction and I can’t look away.Chrissy is also into exercise, 5Ks are her preferred poison, but she is also an avid hiker. While motherhood added a pound or two to her short, muscular frame, she is in excellent shape. She is a stylish dresser and exceptionally modest. I have rarely seen more than a bare shoulder or calf.I heard her car door slam. Soon she came into view, rounding the front of the house.“Hey, old man. Aren’t you going to Wendy’s party?”“I wasn’t planning on it.”“Well, I’m here to change your mind.”Chrissy was wearing a knee length, white sundress with yellow flats. There was a touch of grey in her blonde hair, and it didn’t appear that she wore any makeup. She didn’t need any. She walked around and climbed the porch steps. I stood and she gave me a nice hug. She’s at least a foot shorter than I am and I could feel her breasts press into my abdomen as she squeezed me tight. I returned the pressure and gave her a fatherly kiss on the top of her head.I breathed deeply, smelling some type of herbal shampoo, “Wow, human contact.”Chrissy stepped back, checking me out, “Have you lost some weight? You look great.”“A couple of pounds. You are simply gorgeous.”She gave me another tight hug. We just stood there for a few moments holding each other. I was savoring her friendship. Finally, we eased off. I motioned to the other rocker and we both sat down.Chrissy's eyes looked a little red as if she might have been crying. I was tempted to say something.She reached over, took my hand, and squeezed it, “How have you been? I’ve hardly seen you this summer.”She didn’t take her hand away and I felt like a teenager again, holding hands with the girl next door. This simple human contact had my heart racing. I looked into her brown eyes and was lost.I was tempted to catch a glimpse of her breasts, but her eyes were bewitching. “Been staying busy with the garden and repairing a spot on the back of the barn. I’ll send you home with some veggies. Mostly just relaxing and doing a lot of reading. How about you?”She pointed at my book, “I love Lord of the Rings. Well, we went out west right after school let out and saw my folks. Been doing a lot of writing. Getting ready to send Jackie off to kindergarten next month.”“Wow! Kindergarten already. Time flies huh?”“He’s growing like a weed. So, are you going to come to Wendy’s party with me?”“Look at me Chrissy I’m all sweaty and dirty.”“Nothing a little soap and water won’t take care of. When was the last time you went out? Socially, I mean.”“Your house for Christmas dinner, I think.”“Are you kidding me?! Quinn, you must come with me. I need a date besides.”“How about Jack?”Chrissy looked away. Something was wrong. Her jaw clenched and started quivering. When her eyes returned to mine, they were brimming with tears. “Jack is a shit.”“What’s the matter?”Tears started rolling down her cheeks. I reached into my pocket and handed her my handkerchief. “It’s clean.”“My dad always has a handkerchief too. Can we walk?”“Sure.”We both stood. Chrissy led me down the steps and waited at the bottom. She held out her hand and I took it. We started slowly strolling down towards my garden and my small meadow.It took her a moment to start talking. “He is an absolute fucker.”She didn’t look at me, her gaze fixed firmly on the ground ahead. Tears were flowing steadily now. She wiped her face every thirty seconds or so. I was surprised at the f-bomb because Chrissy rarely uses profanity. The exception is when she was really pissed off. This seemed to be one of those times. Marriage counseling is not something I would ever attempt, but I remember Roz used to ask me to just listen and not try and fix things.I squeezed her hand, “You can tell me as little or as much as you want. You are one of my dearest friends and have seen me through some rough times. The roughest times.” I stopped walking, “The least I can do is be here for you.”Chrissy reached and put her arm around my waist. I put mine around her shoulder.She took a deep breath. “Jack and I have been fighting a lot. Two months ago he tried to hit me. He missed and I ran out of the house. I stayed with Zoë for a couple of days.”Zoë is our faculty colleague at the college. Chrissy and Zoë are thick as thieves and do everything together.Chrissy continued, “We sort of came to a truce for Jackie’s sake, but I haven’t slept in our bed since. I use the guest room and lock the door. Jack is being a complete asshole. He acts like he’s the only one with a full time job.” I could see the anger rising. “I’m a fucking full-time college professor and he doesn’t lift a goddamn finger around the house! I have to do everything for Jackie. And then…”She stopped walking. Sobs started to wrack her body and she put her hands to her face. I pulled her to me and she buried her face in my dirty work shirt. I just held her as the tears flowed, shoulders heaving. I gave her another kiss on the top of her head. I petted her hair, trying to sooth her somehow. It took a while, but the sobbing eased. She stepped back. Tears and snot were freely flowing. Then her face turned from sadness to madness.Her anger was palpable, “The son of a bitch didn’t come home on Wednesday. I didn’t see him until he came home from work yesterday. He said he was out with his buddies all night. Horseshit he was out with his buddies. He was out fucking someone. When he went to work I checked his laundry. There were cum stains on his briefs and they smelled like someone’s cunt. Sorry, I hate that word, but that what she is; a cunt! He’s a cunt too! I don’t know who she is, but she’s a cunt! The two of them have fucking destroyed my fucking marriage!”She wiped her face one more time and handed back my handkerchief. “Sorry, it’s all wet. I must look like hell.”“It’s a beautiful hell though.”“Thank you.”She turned away from me and stood with her hands on her hips, her head thrown back, looking up at the sky. She was taking deep breaths trying to calm herself. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I didn’t do anything for a minute or two. Finally, I went over and I put my hands on her shoulders. She brought her hand up to mine.Chrissy turned, took my hand, and lightly kissed it. We were standing on the far side of my property at the edge of a maple grove. The sun was angling across the meadow. The sun turned her hair to a golden amber.Her sad eyes gazed into mine, tears brimming again. “What the hell am I going to do?”This woman was in misery. She hugged me and the sobs built up again. I just held her for what seemed the longest time. I remembered holding my daughters like this when they broke up with a boyfriend. This was a hundred times worse. In either case, there was nothing I could do.“I’m sorry,” she wept into my chest.I gently petted the back of her head. We stood there for quite a while. Every so often her body would shake. Eventually the sobbing eased. She leaned back.I handed her the handkerchief again. “Wipe your face again.”“I’ve made a mess of your shirt.”“It was dirty to begin with. Shall we head back?”She nodded and started moving back toward the house arm-in-arm. When we got to the porch stairs, I let her precede me. On the first step she turned around and hugged me again. Of course, I reciprocated and held her tight. With the added height, her face was much closer to mine. She leaned back, but kept her arms around my neck.“Sorry for venting on you. It was really good to get all that off my chest. I’ve told Zoë a little, but it was good to tell you.” Her right hand came up and cupped my cheek. “You really are a dear friend.”Then she kissed me ever so lightly with those beautiful lips. It was unexpected and took my breath away. She had never kissed me before. The softness of her lips sent electricity coursing through my body. I felt my cock stir slightly.I must have had a shocked look on my face because Chrissy suddenly looked concerned, “I’m sorry I was so forward. That was completely inappropriate, but you’re so good to me.”I shook my head, “No. That was fine. I always dreamed what it would be like to kiss you. Now I know.”She put her hand to the side of my face and lightly kissed me again. “So, now you know why I need a date to go to Wendy’s party. Will you go with me?”She put her arms around my neck again. My hands were on her hips.Looking into her eyes I said, “Chrissy, I don’t think I’m ready.”“What’s there to be ready for? You are a handsome, available bachelor who needs to get out and meet some members of the opposite sex.”“But I’m really a widower whose heart is still mending. That’s a lot of socializing. I’m just happy being here with you.”She kissed the tip of my nose. “You are sweet, but I worry about you. Please come with me to the party. I promise you we’ll have a nice time and I’ll have you home before you turn into a pumpkin. You can be my designated driver and I can drink my sorrows away.” She placed both hands on either side of my face. “For me?”I smiled, “Not fair. Christina, you know I would do anything for you.”“Then that settles it.” She gave me a final little kiss.“Okay, I’ll go, but can we just sit here a while? It’s nice just being with you. Just you.”Chrissy turned, climbed the stairs, and we returned to the rockers. She took my hand again, looking over the yard. I could feel her relaxing, the sorrow and anger subsiding. I looked at Chrissy and her eyes were closed. She looked peaceful, which made me feel better. I stole a glance at her breasts hidden under the sundress, was that a nipple? I returned to her lovely face. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, she simply enchanted me.She brought the back of my hand to her soft lips and kissed it, “Thank you my friend.” She opened her eyes. “You have no idea what it means to have someone like you, someone who listens.”Chrissy looked out across the lawn. She rocked back and forth just a little in the rocker.After many minutes she turned to me, “This is such a nice place. I know why you love it here. Quiet. Private. Gorgeous view.”I was still looking at her, “I love the view.”She looked at me, realized my meaning, smiled, and slapped my hand, “You need to get ready.”“Aye aye ma'am,” I said invoking my naval training.“Need me to help?”“What are you going to do, scrub my back?” I asked sarcastically.Her face lit up and with a broad smile, “Sure. I’ll scrub your back.”In hindsight, I think that little exchange opened a door. I looked at her questioningly.Perhaps I was a little dense. “That might be hard. I have a claw foot tub with a shower.”“Well let me see.”I led the way as we climbed the stairs and I showed her the bathroom. “Claw foot tub. Not much room.”“Oh,” she said. “I didn’t expect that. Well, I don’t want to get this wet.”She kicked off her yellow flats. Then with one quick motion, she reached down, grabbed the hem of her dress, and pulled it over her head. Christina stood before me completely naked. Looking back, I would have never thought she went commando. She was breathtakingly beautiful. I’m sure my jaw dropped. Her breasts were quite pert with perfectly proportioned areolas surrounding semi-erect nipples. She had trimmed her pubes into the classic delta; I could see her labia through the shoulder-length blonde hair. I just stared.“Quinn McMullen, you act as if you’ve never seen a naked woman before.”“I have never seen you naked before. You are more beautiful than I ever imagined.”“Well, thank you, but I’m only scrubbing your back remember.” There was a bit of a tease in her voice. She reached out and lifted my chin so she could look me in the eyes again. “My eyes are up here. You always look me in the eyes.”“I do. I love your eyes, but you have always been fully clothed.”“You’re sweet, but we need to get you cleaned.”“Right.” I struggled to regain control. First, I pulled back the shower curtain and started the hot water. Then I went to the towel drawer, “One towel or two?”“One. I won’t get my hair wet.”I took out a towel for each of us and placed them on the towel rack. I reached in and tested the water, bringing up the cold water a bit to adjust the temperature. I put my watch on the vanity, kicked off my shoes, and began taking off my shirt.Chrissy grabbed for my belt. “Here let me help you.”I slowed the unbuttoning and looked down into her eyes. She had my belt undone, pants unbuttoned, and zipper down in no time. She hooked her fingers inside my waistband and dropped my trousers and skivvies in one quick move. My semi-erect cock popped up.She stepped back and admired me, “I guess it has been a while since you’ve seen a naked woman. That’s a very nice package you have there, Dr. McMullen. I especially love your ginger pubes.”“You present an equally pleasing view, Dr. Ashby.”She stepped closer, put her arms around my neck, and looked up into my eyes, “Perhaps it would be a good idea if you kissed me. Really kissed me.”I put my hands around her and on to her naked bottom, pulling her to me. I lowered my mouth to hers, closed my eyes, and gently touched her lips with mine. Electricity ran down my spine. She pulled my face downward, the warmth and wetness of her lips causing goosebumps to break out on my skin. Her body pressed against mine, my erection pressed into her stomach. I felt her lips part and I extended my tongue to hers. I moved my hands to her back and pulled her tight. I have no idea how long we kissed for, but it was heavenly. She pulled away slightly and looked into my eyes.She petted the side of my face and whispered, “The water’s running. We’re supposed to be washing your back.”“Right.” I didn’t move, looking into her eyes. “Can we just stay like this for a moment?”“We have a party to go to.”“Right,” I repeated, sounding like a broken record.I stepped out of my jeans and pulled off my socks. I turned on the overhead shower and stepped over the lip of the tub and in.“You’ll probably want to be on this side, so you don’t get your hair wet.” I extended my hand, helped her over the side, and then closed the shower curtain. “Here’s the soap.”I grabbed the bottle of shampoo and put my head under the showerhead. My mind was in a whirl as Chrissy started soaping up my back.I asked, “Am I getting you wet with this spray?”“A little, but it’s okay,” She said as she began washing my back. She started with my shoulders, kneading the muscles. It was more massage than scrub and it felt wonderful. I stopped for a moment, leaned my head back, and just stood under the shower, luxuriating while Chrissy's hands worked on my back.She gently slapped my butt, “Back to work.”I rinsed my hair.Chrissy's hands moved to my butt cheeks, “You have a very fine ass; do you know that?”“I didn’t, but thanks for the compliment. I think yours is quite shapely as well.”“Thanks, but it’s flat and boney.

I've long been an admirer of Paul Krugman of The New York Times as he's a rational and accessible liberal economist who genuinely seems to have the best interests of the public at heart. But a recent column smacked of establishment rhetoric that bordered on gaslighting. Democrats ignore economic realities at their own peril and while most leftists expect little from sources like The New York Times, Krugman has often risen above partisan talking points making this even more disappointing. Chapters Intro: 00:00:41 Deconstructing Krugman: 00:03:09 The Dual Mandate is Horseshit: 00:03:09 The Harris Economic Plan: 00:12:52 Post Show Musings: 00:19:09 Resources The New York Times: What Happened to Inflation? The New York Times: Warning Signs Flash in a Labor Survey as Fed Officials Watch for Weakness Trading Economics: United States Average Hourly Wages Ramsey: The Average American's Monthly Expenses The Ascent: Average American Credit Card Debt in 2024 Axios: The most popular grocery stores in the U.S. Yahoo Finance: Fed confronts up to a million US jobs vanishing in revision BLS Reports: Characteristics of minimum wage workers, 2022 MacroTrends: S&P 500 PE Ratio - 90 Year Historical Chart PBS News: Harris has proposed a slew of economic policies. Here's a look at what's in them -- If you like #UNFTR, please leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts: unftr.com/rate and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram at @UNFTRpod. Visit us online at unftr.com. Join the Unf*cker-run Facebook group: facebook.com/groups/2051537518349565 Buy yourself some Unf*cking Coffee at shop.unftr.com. Subscribe to Unf*cking The Republic on Substack at unftr.substack.com to get the essays these episode are framed around sent to your inbox every week. Check out the UNFTR Pod Love playlist on Spotify: spoti.fi/3yzIlUP. Visit our bookshop.org page at bookshop.org/shop/UNFTRpod to find the full UNFTR book list, and find book recommendations from our Unf*ckers at bookshop.org/lists/unf-cker-book-recommendations. Access the UNFTR Musicless feed by following the instructions at unftr.com/accessibility. Unf*cking the Republic is produced by 99 and engineered by Manny Faces Media (mannyfacesmedia.com). Original music is by Tom McGovern (tommcgovern.com). The show is hosted by Max and distributed by 99. Podcast art description: Image of the US Constitution ripped in the middle revealing white text on a blue background that says, "Unf*cking the Republic."Support the show: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/unftrSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I've got a secret!

Regaining My Life: Can friends become lovers?By Quinn_McMullen, in 8 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels. The characters in this story are flawed, just like you and me. Sometimes they make bad decisions as they struggle to live their lives. Sometimes they make life changing decisions. All characters and situations are complete fiction.Chapter 1Two years ago, my wife passed away. Processing the grief has been difficult because it has forced me to reconcile with my new identity as a widower. Supportive friends, neighbors, and colleagues have tried to help get me out of the house and away from the memories. Asking me to join their social events like fundraisers, parties, and cookouts have been great gestures, but I have yet to accept. I don't feel that I am quite ready for that much socializing, so I stay home and curl up with a good book.It was a little past six on a warm Friday evening in mid-August. Dinner and the cleanup were complete. I settled down in one of the rocking chairs on my porch with my well-worn copy of The Fellowship of the Ring. The sun was just beginning to set behind one of the large maples on the west side of my property. About an hour and a half of filtered sunlight remained to enjoy the evening breezes and read about Frodo's adventures in Middle Earth. There was a horn toot on the road and I looked up to see Christina Ashby's blue hybrid turning into the drive.Chris and I are both professors at the local college. Although she is 20 years my junior, she is one of my closest and dearest friends. Our friendship goes back eight years to when she first arrived at the college. Since neither her family, nor mine is close by, we have tended to look out for one another. For example, when Chris and her husband Jack came down with the flu, my wife Rosalind and I took them food, went to the pharmacy, and helped nurse them back to health. When Roz was sick, Chris brought me meals and tidied up around my house. She spent hours with me at Hospice House and was at my side when Rosalind passed away. Chris and Jack have continued to look out for me since. I have been a frequent dinner guest, they brought me into their home for the holidays, and Chris has come by regularly to check up on me. I was pretty sure that that's what this was, a wellness check.My relationship with Chris has also been flirtatious, but completely platonic. Whenever I am having a conversation with her, we lock into some serious eye contact, not a couple of seconds, but rather several minutes at a time. I get lost in her brown eyes. It's as if we undergo a mind meld and I can't look away.I try hard not to be the dirty old professor around campus. The abundance of enticing female flesh that our co-eds display makes that very difficult. For example, when going up the stairs, I always look at the ground for fear of being caught looking up a young woman's skirt. In person, I spend a lot of time looking into their eyes. With Chris it is no different. Her shapely breasts; her firm, toned ass; and her curvy hips present an attractive figure that my eyes are instinctively drawn to. I began looking at her eyes because I didn't want her to see me checking her out. Looking into her eyes has now become an addiction and I can't look away.Chris is also into exercise, 5Ks are her preferred poison, but she is also an avid hiker. While motherhood added a pound or two to her short, muscular frame, she is in excellent shape. She is a stylish dresser and exceptionally modest. I have rarely seen more than a bare shoulder or calf.I heard her car door slam. Soon she came into view, rounding the front of the house."Hey, old man. Aren't you going to Wendy's party?""I wasn't planning on it.""Well, I'm here to change your mind."Chris was wearing a knee length, light blue sundress with yellow flats. There was a touch of grey in her brown hair, and it didn't appear that she wore any makeup. She didn't need any. She walked around and climbed the porch steps. I stood and she gave me a nice hug. She's at least a foot shorter than I am and I could feel her breasts press into my abdomen as she squeezed me tight. I returned the pressure and gave her a fatherly kiss on the top of her head.I breathed deeply, smelling some type of herbal shampoo, "Wow, human contact."Chris stepped back, checking me out, "Have you lost some weight? You look great.""A couple of pounds. You are simply gorgeous."She gave me another tight hug. We just stood there for a few moments holding each other. I was savoring her friendship. Finally, we eased off. I motioned to the other rocker and we both sat down.Chris' eyes looked a little red as if she might have been crying. I was tempted to say something.She reached over, took my hand, and squeezed it, "How have you been? I've hardly seen you this summer."She didn't take her hand away and I felt like a teenager again, holding hands with the girl next door. This simple human contact had my heart racing. I looked into her brown eyes and was lost.I was tempted to catch a glimpse of her breasts, but her eyes were bewitching. "Been staying busy with the garden and repairing a spot on the back of the barn. I'll send you home with some veggies. Mostly just relaxing and doing a lot of reading. How about you?"She pointed at my book, "I love Lord of the Rings. Well, we went out west right after school let out and saw my folks. Been doing a lot of writing. Getting ready to send Jackie off to kindergarten next month.""Wow! Kindergarten already. Time flies huh?""He's growing like a weed. So, are you going to come to Wendy's party with me?""Look at me Chris. I'm all sweaty and dirty.""Nothing a little soap and water won't take care of. When was the last time you went out? Socially, I mean.""Your house for Christmas dinner, I think.""Are you kidding me?! Quinn, you must come with me. I need a date besides.""How about Jack?"Chris looked away. Something was wrong. Her jaw clenched and started quivering. When her eyes returned to mine, they were brimming with tears. "Jack is a shit.""What's the matter?"Tears started rolling down her cheeks. I reached into my pocket and handed her my handkerchief. "It's clean.""My dad always has a handkerchief too. Can we walk?""Sure."We both stood. Chris led me down the steps and waited at the bottom. She held out her hand and I took it. We started slowly strolling down towards my garden and my small meadow.It took her a moment to start talking. "He is an absolute fucker."She didn't look at me, her gaze fixed firmly on the ground ahead. Tears were flowing steadily now. She wiped her face every thirty seconds or so. I was surprised at the f-bomb because Chris rarely uses profanity. The exception is when she was really pissed off. This seemed to be one of those times. Marriage counseling is not something I would ever attempt, but I remember Roz used to ask me to just listen and not try and fix things.I squeezed her hand, "You can tell me as little or as much as you want. You are one of my dearest friends and have seen me through some rough times. The roughest times." I stopped walking, "The least I can do is be here for you."Chris reached and put her arm around my waist. I put mine around her shoulder.She took a deep breath. "Jack and I have been fighting a lot. Two months ago he tried to hit me. He missed and I ran out of the house. I stayed with Zoë for a couple of days."Zoë is our faculty colleague at the college. Chris and Zoë are thick as thieves and do everything together.Chris continued, "We sort of came to a truce for Jackie's sake, but I haven't slept in our bed since. I use the guest room and lock the door. Jack is being a complete asshole. He acts like he's the only one with a full time job." I could see the anger rising. "I'm a fucking full-time college professor and he doesn't lift a goddamn finger around the house! I have to do everything for Jackie. And then..."She stopped walking. Sobs started to wrack her body and she put her hands to her face. I pulled her to me and she buried her face in my dirty work shirt. I just held her as the tears flowed, shoulders heaving. I gave her another kiss on the top of her head. I petted her hair, trying to sooth her somehow. It took a while, but the sobbing eased. She stepped back. Tears and snot were freely flowing. Then her face turned from sadness to madness.Her anger was palpable, "The son of a bitch didn't come home on Wednesday. I didn't see him until he came home from work yesterday. He said he was out with his buddies all night. Horseshit he was out with his buddies. He was out fucking someone. When he went to work I checked his laundry. There were cum stains on his briefs and they smelled like someone's cunt. Sorry, I hate that word, but that what she is, a cunt! He's a cunt too! I don't know who she is, but she's a cunt! The two of them have fucking destroyed my fucking marriage!"She wiped her face one more time and handed back my handkerchief. "Sorry, it's all wet. I must look like hell.""It's a beautiful hell though.""Thank you."She turned away from me and stood with her hands on her hips, her head thrown back, looking up at the sky. She was taking deep breaths trying to calm herself. I wasn't sure what to do, so I didn't do anything for a minute or two. Finally, I went over and I put my hands on her shoulders. She brought her hand up to mine.Chris turned, took my hand, and lightly kissed it. We were standing on the far side of my property at the edge of a maple grove. The sun was angling across the meadow. The sun turned her hair to a golden brown.Her sad eyes gazed into mine, tears brimming again. "What the hell I am going to do?"This woman was in misery. She hugged me and the sobs built up again. I just held her for what seemed the longest time. I remembered holding my daughters like this when they broke up with a boyfriend. This was a hundred times worse. In either case, there was nothing I could do."I'm sorry," she wept into my chest.I gently petted the back of her head. We stood there for quite a while. Every so often her body would shake. Eventually the sobbing eased. She leaned back.I handed her the handkerchief again. "Wipe your face again.""I've made a mess of your shirt.""It was dirty to begin with. Shall we head back?"She nodded and started moving back toward the house arm-in-arm. When we got to the porch stairs, I let her precede me. On the first step she turned around and hugged me again. Of course, I reciprocated and held her tight. With the added height, her face was much closer to mine. She leaned back, but kept her arms around my neck."Sorry for venting on you. It was really good to get all that off my chest. I've told Zoë a little, but it was good to tell you." Her right hand came up and cupped my cheek. "You really are a dear friend."Then she kissed me ever so lightly with those beautiful lips. It was unexpected and took my breath away. She had never kissed me before. The softness of her lips sent electricity coursing through my body. I felt my cock stir slightly.I must have had a shocked look on my face because Chris suddenly looked concerned, "I'm sorry I was so forward. That was completely inappropriate, but you're so good to me."I shook my head, "No. That was fine. I always dreamed what it would be like to kiss you. Now I know."She put her hand to the side of my face and lightly kissed me again. "So, now you know why I need a date to go to Wendy's party. Will you go with me?"She put her arms around my neck again. My hands were on her hips.Looking into her eyes I said, "Chris, I don't think I'm ready.""What's there to be ready for? You are a handsome, available bachelor who needs to get out and meet some members of the opposite sex.""But I'm really a widower whose heart is still mending. That's a lot of socializing. I'm just happy being here with you."She kissed the tip of my nose. "You are sweet, but I worry about you. Please come with me to the party. I promise you we'll have a nice time and I'll have you home before you turn into a pumpkin. You can be my designated driver and I can drink my sorrows away." She placed both hands on either side of my face. "For me?"I smiled, "Not fair. Christina, you know I would do anything for you.""Then that settles it." She gave me a final little kiss."Okay, I'll go, but can we just sit here a while? It's nice just being with you. Just you."Chris turned, climbed the stairs, and we returned to the rockers. She took my hand again, looking over the yard. I could feel her relaxing, the sorrow and anger subsiding. I looked at Chris and her eyes were closed. She looked peaceful, which made me feel better. I stole a glance at her breasts hidden under the sundress, was that a nipple? I returned to her lovely face. I couldn't take my eyes off her, she simply enchanted me.She brought the back of my hand to her soft lips and kissed it, "Thank you my friend." She opened her eyes. "You have no idea what it means to have someone like you, someone who listens."Chris looked out across the lawn. She rocked back and forth just a little in the rocker.After many minutes she turned to me, "This is such a nice place. I know why you love it here. Quiet. Private. Gorgeous view."I was still looking at her, "I love the view."She looked at me, realized my meaning, smiled, and slapped my hand, "You need to get ready.""Aye aye, ma'am," I said invoking my naval training."Need me to help?""What are you going to do, scrub my back?" I asked sarcastically.Her face lit up and with a broad smile, "Sure. I'll scrub your back."In hindsight, I think that little exchange opened a door. I looked at her questioningly.Perhaps I was a little dense. "That might be hard. I have a claw foot tub with a shower.""Well let me see."I led the way as we climbed the stairs and I showed her the bathroom. "Claw foot tub. Not much room.""Oh," she said. "I didn't expect that. Well, I don't want to get this wet."She kicked off her yellow flats. Then with one quick motion, she reached down, grabbed the hem of her dress, and pulled it over her head. Christina stood before me completely naked. Looking back, I would have never thought she went commando. She was breathtakingly beautiful. I'm sure my jaw dropped. Her breasts were quite pert with perfectly proportioned areolas surrounding semi-erect nipples. She had trimmed her pubes into the classic delta; I could see her labia through the short, brown hair. I just stared.

Dr. Nir Buras is a leading new traditional architect and urbanist, founder of the Classic Planning Institute, and author of The Art of Classic Planning. He designs towns, cities and buildings, and speaks about some of the most interesting developments in the world of architecture and planning and where we might find ourselves in the future.

Episode 449.. A St. Patty's Day vibe without the punk clichés. Plenty of green beer bile to go around. Check out our St. Patrick's Day playlist for even more! A bunch of new ones including a brand new Noise Itch CS (Germany) release from Nova Scotia's Squander and a submission from Lost Legion (Chicago)! Enjoy!Listen to Episode 449: (scroll for set list)On ARCHIVE.On Apple, Google or YouTube Podcasts, hit "play."On blogspot, play it below:Listen to The Brothers Grim Punkcast:ARCHIVE.Org - hear/download past episodesPUNK ROCK DEMONSTRATION - Wednesdays 7 p.m. PSTRIPPER RADIO - Fridays & Saturdays 7 p.m. PSTApple PodcastsGoogle PodcastsYouTube PodcastsContact Brothers Grim Punk:brothersgrimpunk@gmail.com - In a punk band? Send us your music! Want us to make you a punk song? Email us some lyrics!@Punkbot138 on Instagram@BrosGrimPunk on XMore Punk Music:Bandcamp - Follow us and download our albums: Brothers Grim Punk, Fight Music, and more!YouTube - tons of punk playlists, from Anarchy to Zombies!The Punk Nightmare Continues...Taiwan Kill by troops 1:34 L-Schema 2024 DEMO Iron Lung Let's Kill Punk 1:30 Paprika Let's Kill Punk_Iron Lung Non Mi Frega (I Dont Care) 1:26 Discos Enfermos DE #123 MIRAGE "immagini postume" 7" Noise Itch CS Germany No Hope for Tomorrow 2:08 Squander The Western Nightmare Continues SPACE TRUCKIN' (bkgrd) 3:09 GAZM DEADBOLT/SPACE TRUCKIN' We Like Beer 1:21 Brothers Grim Punk Us Against The World I Get It You're Irish 1:47 Night of the Living Shred Ain't Nothin' to Fuck With (No Skits) Irish Car Bomb 1:42 Murderer's Row Beer Fueled Mayhem St. Paddy's Day 1:56 Dumpster Chicken Dumpster Chicken St. Patricks Day 1:21 Forth Yeer Freshman So Punk It Hurts St. Patrick's Day 1:22 Plow United Plow United St. Patty's Day 2:18 Junto Single The Science of Being an Asshole 1:07 Green Beers Don't Worry About Nothing St. Paddy's Day Massacre (Wrong House) 2:40 Spit Hood Punk Rock Demo Cheers to Mankind 1:08 Fight Music Say Uncle Sweet Young Thing Ain't Sweet No More (bkgrd) 3:46 Mudhoney Superfuzz Bigmuff Plus Early Singles Dirt Bag Distro KC 2 Kool 1:11 Total Sham LP Iron Lung Psychosis 1:14 Reek Minds Malignant Existence_Iron Lung Germany Zianit 1:41 Kläpträp Dipsomania for Conquest Belgium BOLT DOWN 1:37 DÖGMËN BITTEN BY THE HAND Dirty Slap Recs France The crossing 1:48 Khassarat How many more must perish in the pursuit of hope? Detroit KRAB SACK 0:32 THE SWAMP DONKEYS SICK AS A HOG Germany HELLHAMMER 1:34 DRUG DAGGER DRUG DAGGER  Sterns76 - Waste (bkgrd) 3:26 RTTB.Records Tales From The Pop Punk World Volume 3 Houston Nose Beers 1:31 Sexpill Anarchy and LSD NH Ambush Recs Give Up 0:38 Youth in Asia Workingman's Dread Cock Of The Walk 0:33 Raw Nerve Demo Cassette Finland Kultti (cult) 1:49 Putkipommi (a pipe bomb) Demo '23 Brooklyn Un Dia 1:34 Scalple World Gone Bad Beda raw - totally went nuts 2:11 Sound of chaos records No class for hell crust sound II London BAD FAITH 1:25 DYNAMITE DEMO 23 Can't Stand The Midwest 1:06 Erik Nervous & The Beta Blockers The USPS Tape Horseshit  (bkgrd) 2:44 Erik Nervous & The Beta Blockers The USPS Tape Chicago Disposed 1:49 Lost Legion Behind the Concrete Veil

Little Wars: 20+20. Complicated verb tenses. The origins of the Fair. H.G. Wells is a Prick. The Masters of DIE. Dual Wield: If your kids grew up any time after the 1990s and get Jumanji'd, it's not your fault. According to tiktok dice are a little easier to make than this. If a Protagonist's mom is Bad News, what do you do?  BabPod: DIE is a production of the Okay, So network. Connect with the show at @babylonpodject Help us keep the lights on via our Patreon! Justen can be found at @justenwrites Ana can be found at @The_Mianaai, and also made our show art. Both Ana and Justen can also be found on The Compleat Discography, a Discworld re-read podcast. Jude Vais can be found at @eremiticjude. His other work can be found at Athrabeth - a Tolkien Podcast and at Garbage of the Five Rings. Music: The Horror Maschine 1 by Sascha Ende Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/43-the-horror-maschine-1 Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license This show is edited and produced by Aaron Olson, who can be found at @urizenxvii

Ever wonder how the magic of October and Halloween intertwines with the charm of nostalgia? Join Megan and I as we take you on a journey back to the times of our favorite shows like Three's Company, Golden Girls, and Little House on the Prairie, sprinkled with our love for the chilling tales of Halloween. For the lovers of the Little House on the Prairie, we uncover the secrets from the book 'Little House Life Hacks', with its blend of interesting facts and practical advice on living like the Ingalls family.Tune in for a spine-tingling narration of a real-life horror story that unfolded on Halloween in 2004. We dissect the gruesome murder of Lauren Meanzah and the horrifying scene she woke up to find her roommates brutally attacked. Together, we delve into the fear that gripped the Napa Valley residents as speculations of a serial killer spread. As we examine the puzzling evidence left behind and the mysterious lack of a robbery, the tale becomes more perplexing.Stay with us as we explore the twisted motivation behind the crime, potential suspects, and the shocking confession from the killer himself. We analyze the strange details surrounding the murder, including the killer's planning, the fight with an ex-fiancée, and the presence of those close to the victims at the killer's wedding. Wrapping up, we ponder the bizarre connection between the heinous crime and a hideous mask. So tune in, as we unravel the harrowing tale of a Halloween murder that left a community in shock and a mystery that continued to unfold.Support the showCheck out our website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/837988 Linktree: https://linktr.ee/itsalwaysthehusbandpodcast Like our Facebook page and join our group!! Instagram: @itsalwaysthehusbandpodcast Twitter: @alwaysthehubs Etsy Shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ItsAlwaysTheHusband?ref=simple-shop-header-name&listing_id=776055218 Theme song by Jamie "I'm Gonna Kill You, Bitch" Nelson

Danielle and Cyndi Thomason, an expert certified in Profit First at the mastery level and the author of Profit First for E-commerce Sellers, explore the critical role of inventory in determining the success of your business. Cyndi shares valuable techniques for managing inventory levels and emphasizes the importance of maintaining distinct accounts. They will also investigate the advertising budget, highlighting the recommended percentage allocation for this aspect. This episode offers valuable insights and practical advice for ensuring the profitability of your business.   IN THIS EPISODE: [01:27] Cyndi talks about why inventory can be a serious pitfall for a business, why you need an inventory account [08:51] Looking at  each product you sell to determine how to price  [11:39] Cyndi shares the importance of inventory days and getting creative to move stale inventory  [15:39] She explains why  inventory cash flow is different from your operating expenses and the part advertising can play if not managed well [19:27] Pay attention to the return on their advertising spend and how to figure the percentage you should spend [26:45] Cyndi shares the downfall of integrating your accounting system with your inventory  KEY TAKEAWAYS:  The key to operating a business where inventory is involved is to allocate funds so you don't have to borrow money to buy stock. Sales are lost when you run out of inventory. Good record-keeping through accounts prevents that from happening. Be very careful of how much you spend on advertising.  It is an expense that can quickly get out of hand.   GUEST BIOGRAPHY: Cyndi Thomason, author of Profit First for Ecommerce Sellers, is a Certified Master Profit First Professional, and the founder and president of bookskeep, a virtual company that provides bookkeeping and Profit First consulting services to ecommerce clients all over the world. Cyndi devotes much of her time speaking at various events such as ASD Market Week, ProfitCon, Marketplace Brand Accelerator Training, the Ecommerce Business School and other webinars, teaching ecommerce businesses how to implement the Profit First method. She has contributed to publications such as Skip McGrath s Online Seller s Resource and is a regular contributor to The Private Label Insider and the Inventory Lab newsletter. Honors and awards include Profit First Member of the Year 2016, Profit First Go-Giver 2017, and one of the Top 50 Women in Accounting Award 2018, presented by Practice Ignition. Cyndi is a master gardener and enjoys being surrounded by nature, spending time with family, friends and a menagerie of fur babies. Bookskeep -Website https://www.bookskeep.com/ Cyndi Thomason - Website https://www.bookskeep.com/about/cyndi-thomason/   ABOUT THE HOSTS: Danielle Mulvey is a former flight attendant-turned-entrepreneur and owns multiple businesses doing $50 million in annual revenue. She is one of the exclusive, select group of Mastery-Certified Profit First Professionals worldwide and the go-to “HOW TO IMPLEMENT” workshop facilitator for Profit First and WSJ Journal best-selling author Mike Michalowicz following his keynote speeches. Danielle is currently running multiple businesses, from start-ups to mature businesses with 10-year plus track records and revenues ranging from $1M to $40 million in annual revenues and is a certified numbers geek about Profit First, leveraging the DIY cash management system for small business to achieve maximum profitability. She can personally guide business owners to achieve maximum profitability based on her 25 years of experience as an entrepreneur who has been there and done that.   Additionally, Danielle authored the book The Rapid Read™ Guide to The 5-Star Employee Rating System™ and is currently collaborating with Wall Street Journal best-selling author Mike Michalowicz on his new book, to be released in Q1 2024, titled ALL IN: How Great Leaders Build Unstoppable Teams. Mike Michalowicz is an entrepreneur and New York Times and Wall Street Journal best-selling author of Profit First, The Pumpkin Plan, SURGE, Toilet Paper Entrepreneur, Clockwork, Fix This Next and Get Different. BusinessWeek called Toilet Paper Entrepreneur, a business cult classic. His books have been translated into ten languages, and Mike has had the privilege to speak on stages worldwide because of his passion for connecting with entrepreneurs.   As the founder of Profit First Professionals, he empowers accountants, bookkeepers, and business coaches with the tools and techniques to maximize client profitability, allowing them to uplevel from being one of the 83% of small businesses operating check-to-check and struggling to be profitable to becoming one of the 17% of thriving and highly valuable businesses with cash in the bank to correlate to profitability. Mike also co-founded the business growth consultancy Provendus Group and has successfully founded, built, and sold two technology service-based companies. He is passionate about sharing his experiences and advice with entrepreneurs and sits on formal and informal advisory boards while maintaining relationships with angel and early-stage investors. RESOURCES: Danielle Mulvey - Website https://www.daniellemulvey.com/ Danielle Mulvey - Linkedin http://linkedin.com/in/danielle-mulvey-66a315 The All In Company - Website http://theallincompany.com Profit First Nation - Website http://profitfirstnation.com   Mike Michalowicz - Website Mike Michalowicz - Linkedin Mike Michalowicz - Twitter Profit First Professionals - Website Mike Michalowicz - Books    

A longtime friend becomes a lover.by Quinn_McMullen, for Literotica - listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Two years ago, my wife passed away. Processing the grief has been difficult because it has forced me to reconcile with my new identity as a widower. Supportive friends, neighbors, and colleagues have tried to help get me out of the house and away from the memories. Asking me to join their social events like fundraisers, parties, and cookouts have been great gestures but, I have yet to accept. I don't feel that I am quite ready for that much socializing, so I stay home and curl up with a good book.It was a little past six on a warm Friday evening in mid-August. Dinner and the cleanup were complete. I settled down in one of the rocking chairs on my porch with my well-worn copy of The Fellowship of the Ring. The sun was just beginning to set behind one of the large maples on the west side of my property. About an hour and a half of filtered sunlight remained to enjoy the evening breezes and read about Frodo's adventures in Middle Earth. There was a horn toot on the road, and I looked up to see Christina Ashby's blue hybrid turning into the drive.Two years ago, my wife passed away. Processing the grief has been difficult because it has forced me to reconcile with my new identity as a widower. Supportive friends, neighbors, and colleagues have tried to help get me out of the house and away from the memories. Asking me to join their social events like fundraisers, parties, and cookouts have been great gestures but, I have yet to accept. I don't feel that I am quite ready for that much socializing, so I stay home and curl up with a good book.It was a little past six on a warm Friday evening in mid-August. Dinner and the cleanup were complete. I settled down in one of the rocking chairs on my porch with my well-worn copy of The Fellowship of the Ring. The sun was just beginning to set behind one of the large maples on the west side of my property. About an hour and a half of filtered sunlight remained to enjoy the evening breezes and read about Frodo's adventures in Middle Earth. There was a horn toot on the road, and I looked up to see Christina Ashby's blue hybrid turning into the drive.I need to brief the reader on my relationship with Chris. First, we are both professors at the local college. Although she is 20 years my junior, she is one of my closest and dearest friends. Our friendship goes back eight years to when she first arrived at the college. Since neither her family, nor mine is close by, we have tended to look out for one another. For example, when Chris and her husband Jack came down with the flu, my wife Rosalind and I took them food, went to the pharmacy, and helped nurse them back to health. When Roz was sick, Chris brought me meals and tidied up around my house. She spent hours with me at Hospice House and was at my side when Rosalind passed away. Chris and Jack have continued to look out for me since. I have been a frequent dinner guest, they brought me into their home for the holidays, and Chris has come by regularly to check up on me. I was pretty sure that that's what this was – a wellness check.My relationship with Chris has also been flirtatious, but completely platonic. Whenever I am having a conversation with her, we lock into some serious eye contact, not a couple of seconds, but rather several minutes at a time. I get lost in her brown eyes. It's as if we undergo a mind meld and I can't look away.Chris is also into exercise, 5Ks are her preferred poison, but she is also an avid hiker. While motherhood added a pound or two to her short, muscular frame, she is in excellent shape. Her breasts are a B-cup or so and she has a firm, toned butt. Her curvy hips complete the look of her attractive figure. She is a stylish dresser and exceptionally modest. I have never seen more than a bare shoulder or calf.I heard her car door slam, and she soon came into view, rounding the front of the house.“Hey, old man. Aren't you going to Tina's party?”“I wasn't planning on it.”“Well, I'm here to change your mind.”Chris was wearing a knee length, light blue sundress with yellow flats. There was a touch of grey in her brown hair, and it didn't appear that she wore any makeup. She didn't need any. She walked around and climbed the porch steps. I stood and she gave me a nice hug. She's at least a foot shorter than I am, and I could feel her breasts press into my abdomen as she squeezed me tight. I returned the pressure. I gave her a fatherly kiss on the top of her head, smelling some type of herbal shampoo.I said, “Wow, human contact.”“Have you lost some weight? You look great.”“A couple of pounds.” I held her out at arm's length, “You are simply gorgeous.”She gave me another tight hug. We just stood there for a few moments holding each other. I was savoring her friendship. Finally, we eased off. I motioned to the other rocker and we both sat down.Chris reached over, took my hand, and squeezed it, “How have you been? I've hardly seen you this summer.”She didn't take her hand away and I felt like a teenager again, holding hands with the girl next door. This simple human contact had my heart racing. I looked into her brown eyes and was lost. I was tempted to catch a glimpse of her breasts, but her eyes were bewitching.I said, “Been staying busy with the garden and repairing a spot on the back of the outbuilding. I'll send you home with some veggies. Mostly just relaxing and doing a lot of reading. How about you?”She pointed at my book, “I love Lord of the Rings. Well, we went out west right after school let out and saw my folks. Been doing a lot of writing. Getting ready to send Jackie off to kindergarten next month.”“Wow! Kindergarten already. Time flies huh?”“He's growing like a weed. So, are you going to come to Tina's party with me?”“Look at me Chris. I'm all sweaty and dirty.”“Nothing a little soap and water won't take care of. When was the last time you went out? Socially, I mean.”“Your house for Christmas dinner, I think.”“Are you kidding me? Quinn, you must come with me. I need a date besides.”“How about Jack?”Chris looked away. Something was wrong. Her jaw clenched and started quivering. When her eyes returned to mine, they were brimming with tears. “Jack is a shit.”“What's the matter?”Tears started rolling down her cheeks. I reached into my pocket and handed her my handkerchief. “It's clean.”“My dad always has a handkerchief too. Can we walk?”“Sure.”We both stood. Chris led me down the steps and waited at the bottom. She held out her hand and I took it. We started slowly strolling down towards my garden and my small meadow. It took her a moment to start.“He is an absolute fucker.”She didn't look at me, her gaze fixed firmly on the ground ahead. Tears were flowing steadily now. She wiped her face every thirty seconds or so. I also need to tell the reader that Chris rarely uses profanity. The only time she's dropped an f-bomb was when she was really pissed off.Marriage counseling is not something I would ever attempt, but I remember Roz used to ask me to just listen and not try and fix things. I said, “You can tell me as little or as much as you want. You are one of my dearest friends and have seen me through some rough times. The roughest times.” I squeezed her hand this time. “The least I can do is be here for you.”Chris took a deep breath. “Jack and I have been fighting a lot. Two months ago he tried to hit me. He missed and I ran out of the house. I stayed with Zoë for a couple of days.”Zoë is our faculty colleague at the college. Chris and Zoë are thick as thieves and do everything together.“We sort of came to a truce for Jackie's sake, but I haven't slept in our bed since. I use the guest room and lock the door. Jack is being a complete asshole. He acts like he's the only one with a full time job.” I could see the anger rising. “I'm a fucking full-time college professor and he doesn't lift a goddamn finger around the house. I have to do everything for Jackie. And then.”She stopped walking. Sobs started to wrack her body and she put her hands to her face. I pulled her to me and she buried her face in my dirty work shirt. I just held her as the tears flowed, shoulders heaving. I gave her another kiss on the top of her head. I petted her hair, trying to sooth her somehow. It took a while, but the sobbing eased.Then her face turned from sadness to madness, “The son of a bitch didn't come home on Wednesday. I didn't see him until he came home from work yesterday. He said he was out with his buddies all night. Horseshit he was out with his buddies. He was out fucking someone. When he went to work I checked his laundry. There were cum stains on his briefs and they smelled like someone's cunt. Sorry, I hate that word, but that what she is – a cunt. He's a cunt too. I don't know who she is, but she's a cunt. The two of them have fucking destroyed my fucking marriage.”She wiped her face one more time and handed back my handkerchief. “Sorry, it's all wet.” She turned away from me and stood with her hands on her hips, her head thrown back, looking up at the sky. She was taking deep breaths trying to calm herself. I wasn't sure what to do, so I didn't do anything for a minute or two. Finally, I went over and I put my hands on her shoulders. She brought her hand up to mine. She turned, took my hand and lightly kissed it. We were standing on the far side of my property at the edge of a maple grove. The sun was angling across the meadow. The sun turned her hair to a golden brown. Her sad eyes gazed into mine. Still holding my hand, we started moving back toward the house.When we got to the porch stairs, I let her precede me. On the first step she turned around and hugged me again. Of course, I reciprocated and held her tight. With the added height, her face was much closer to mine. She leaned back, but kept her arms around my neck.“Sorry for venting on you. It was really good to get all that off my chest. I've told Zoë a little, but it was good to tell you.” Her right hand came up and cupped my cheek. “You really are a dear friend.”Then she kissed me ever so lightly with those beautiful lips. It was unexpected and took my breath away. Electricity coursed through my body. I felt my cock stir slightly.I must have had a shocked look on my face because Chris suddenly looked concerned, “I'm sorry I was so forward. That was completely inappropriate, but you're so good to me.”I shook my head, “No. That was fine. I always dreamed what it would be like to kiss you. Now I know.”She put her hand to the side of my face again and lightly kissed me again. “So, now you know why I need a date to go to Tina's party. Will you go with me?”She put her arms around my neck again. My hands were on her hips. Looking into her eyes I said, “Chris, I don't think I'm ready.”“What's there to be ready for? You are a handsome, available bachelor who needs to get out and meet some members of the opposite sex.”“But I'm really a widower whose heart is still mending. That's a lot of socializing. I'm just happy being here with you.”She kissed the tip of my nose. “You are sweet, but I worry about you. Please come with me to the party. I promise you we'll have a nice time and I'll have you home before you turn into a pumpkin.” She placed both hands on either side of my face. “For me?”I said, “Not fair. Christina, you know I would do anything for you.”“Then that settles it.” She gave me a final little kiss.“OK, I'll go, but can we just sit here a while? It's nice just being with you. Just you.”Chris turned, climbed the stairs, and we returned to the rockers. She took my hand again, looking over the yard. I could feel her relaxing, the anger subsiding. I looked at Chris and her eyes were closed. She looked peaceful, which made me feel better. I stole a glance at her breasts hidden under the sundress, was that a nipple? I returned to her lovely face. I couldn't take my eyes off her, she simply enchanted me.She brought the back of my hand to her lips and kissed it, “Thank you my friend.” She opened her eyes. “You have no idea what it means to have someone like you, someone who listens.”Chris looked out across the lawn. She rocked back and forth just a little in the rocker. After a couple of moments she said, “This is such a nice place. I know why you love it here. Quiet. Private. Gorgeous view.”I was still looking at her and said, “I love the view.”She looked at me, realized my meaning, smiled, and slapped my hand, “You need to get ready.”“Aye aye ma'am,” I said invoking my naval training.“Need me to help?”“What are you going to do, scrub my back?” I asked sarcastically.Her face lit up and with a broad smile, “Sure. I'll scrub your back.” In hindsight, I think that little exchange opened a door.I looked at her questioningly. Perhaps I was a little dense. “That might be hard. I have a claw foot tub with a shower.”“Well let me see.”I led the way as we climbed the stairs and I showed her the bathroom. “Claw foot tub. Not much room.”“Oh. I didn't expect that. Well, I don't want to get this wet.”She kicked off her yellow flats. Then with one quick motion, she reached down, grabbed the hem of her dress, and pulled it over her head. Christina stood before me completely naked. Looking back, I would have never thought she went commando. She was breathtakingly beautiful. I'm sure my jaw dropped. Her breasts were quite pert, with perfectly proportioned areolas surrounding semi-erect nipples. She had trimmed her pubes into the classic delta; I could see her labia through the short, brown hair. I just stared.“Quinn McMullen, you act as if you've never seen a naked woman before.”“I have never seen you naked before. You are more beautiful than I ever imagined.”“Well, thank you, but I'm only scrubbing your back remember.” There was a bit of a tease in her voice. She reached out and lifted my chin so she could look me in the eyes again. “My eyes are up here. You always look me in the eyes.”“I do. I love your eyes, but you have always been fully clothed.”“You're sweet, but we need to get you cleaned.”“Right.” I struggled to regain control. First, I pulled back the shower curtain and started the hot water. Then I went to the towel drawer, “One towel or two?”“One. I won't get my hair wet.”I took out a towel for each of us and placed them on the towel rack. I reached in and tested the water, bringing up the cold water a bit to adjust the temperature. I put my watch on the vanity, kicked off my shoes, and began taking off my shirt.“Here let me help you,” Chris said as she grabbed for my belt. I slowed the unbuttoning and looked down into her eyes. She had my belt undone, pants unbuttoned, and zipper down in no time. She hooked her fingers inside my waistband and dropped my trousers and skivvies in one quick move. My semi-erect penis popped up.“Oh, nice,” she said smiling. “I guess it has been a while since you've seen a naked woman. She stepped back and admired me, “That's a very nice package you have there, Dr. McMullen. I especially love your ginger pubes.”“You present an equally pleasing view, Dr. Ashby.”She stepped closer, put her arms around my neck, and looked up into my eyes, “Perhaps it would be a good idea if you kissed me. Really kissed me.”I put my hands around her and on to her naked bottom, then lowered my mouth to hers. I closed my eyes and gently touched her lips with mine. Electricity ran down my spine. She pulled my face downward. Her body pressed against mine and my now rigid cock pressed into her stomach. I felt her lips part and I extended my tongue to hers. I moved my hands to her back and pulled her tight. I have no idea how long we kissed for, but it was heavenly.She broke the kiss, looked into my eyes, petted the side of my face, and whispered, “The water's running. We're supposed to be washing your back.”“Right.” I didn't move, looking into her eyes. “Can we just stay like this for a moment?”“We have a party to go to.”“Right,” I said again, sounding like a broken record. I stepped out of my jeans and pulled off my socks. I turned on the overhead shower and stepped over the lip of the tub and in.“You'll probably want to be on this side, so you don't get your hair wet.” I extended my hand, helped her over the side, and then closed the shower curtain. “Here's the soap.”I grabbed the bottle of shampoo and put my head under the showerhead. My mind was in a whirl as Chris started soaping up my back.“Am I getting you wet with this spray?” I asked.“A little, but it's OK.” She began washing my back. She started with my shoulders, kneading the muscles. It was more massage than scrub and it felt wonderful. I stopped for a moment, leaned my head back, and just stood under the shower, luxuriating while Chris' hands worked on my back.She gently slapped my butt, “Back to work.”I rinsed my hair, as her hands moved to my butt cheeks.“You have a very fine ass; do you know that?”“I didn't, but thanks for the compliment. I think yours is quite shapely as well.”“Thanks, but it's flat and boney. It is firm though.”“Speaking of firm bottoms,” I started to turn around with the intention of reaching for that flat, but firm ass.She softly slapped my butt again, “Stay put. I'm not done.” She was grabbing both cheeks and massaging them. She took the soap and slid it up and down my butt crack, then pushed it against my anus. Her finger traced down my soapy crack and stopped at my asshole, then started rubbing with a finger.“That's not my back.” Then I heard an involuntary sound come from my mouth as she slid her finger in up to the first digit. I had never had anyone's finger in my ass that wasn't a medical doctor. I bent forward and her finger went in further. She must have reached my prostate because I suddenly had the urge to pee. Another groan came forth. I have no idea what she was doing, but it was driving shivers up my spine.“Very nice. We'll have to remember that.” Chris said with a giggle as she slid her finger out of my ass, reaching around to lather my erection.“Can I turn around now?”“Yes, you may.”I obeyed.“You have a wonderfully hairy chest.”Her hands started at my shoulders and lathered my chest, then one hand grabbed my cock. I started to reach up for her breasts. She blocked me with her hand, and she said, “I just showered. Remember, I'm here to help you get clean.” Her smile was very mischievous.“As one of my salty chiefs in the navy said, ‘it's yours and you can wash it as fast as you want.'”With that same smile she said, “This isn't sexual; I just want to help you get nice and clean. For the party.”“For the party. Says the beautiful, naked woman who just probed my ass and is now stoking my rock-hard penis. Of course, it isn't.”Chris smiled that naughty smile.A note to the reader, in the manhood department I am only average. Average length, average thickness, and at the ripe old age of 60, I'm not a sexual dynamo. As a man gets older, the pelvic muscles aren't what they used to be. The result is that when I cum, it sort of dribbles out. Nevertheless, Chris had me as hard as a rock and was “cleaning” my cock with a nice stroking motion. This was probably the longest erection I had had in the past decade.Looking into her eyes I asked, “Would you mind if I kissed you again?”She raised her face, closed her eyes, and puckered slightly. I grabbed the shower curtain for balance, bent down, and kissed those soft lips again. Her free hand came up to the side of my face, her lips parted, and our tongues probed the warmth of each other's mouths. She stopped stroking me and just held my erection. Then she removed her hand from my face, grabbed my free hand, and placed it on her breast. Her nipples were stiff, and I moved my hand over her firm, wet mounds. I gently rolled her nipple between my fingers. Her body twitched involuntarily.Chris broke the kiss enough to mumble into my mouth, “Are you clean enough?”I shook my head. Her free hand returned to my face and continued kissing me, our hands fondling one another. Again, I have no idea how long we stood there in the shower enjoying one another. I was afraid to break the spell she had cast.by Quinn_McMullen, for Literotica

A longtime friend becomes a lover.by Quinn_McMullen, for Literotica - listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Two years ago, my wife passed away. Processing the grief has been difficult because it has forced me to reconcile with my new identity as a widower. Supportive friends, neighbors, and colleagues have tried to help get me out of the house and away from the memories. Asking me to join their social events like fundraisers, parties, and cookouts have been great gestures but, I have yet to accept. I don't feel that I am quite ready for that much socializing, so I stay home and curl up with a good book.It was a little past six on a warm Friday evening in mid-August. Dinner and the cleanup were complete. I settled down in one of the rocking chairs on my porch with my well-worn copy of The Fellowship of the Ring. The sun was just beginning to set behind one of the large maples on the west side of my property. About an hour and a half of filtered sunlight remained to enjoy the evening breezes and read about Frodo's adventures in Middle Earth. There was a horn toot on the road, and I looked up to see Christina Ashby's blue hybrid turning into the drive.Two years ago, my wife passed away. Processing the grief has been difficult because it has forced me to reconcile with my new identity as a widower. Supportive friends, neighbors, and colleagues have tried to help get me out of the house and away from the memories. Asking me to join their social events like fundraisers, parties, and cookouts have been great gestures but, I have yet to accept. I don't feel that I am quite ready for that much socializing, so I stay home and curl up with a good book.It was a little past six on a warm Friday evening in mid-August. Dinner and the cleanup were complete. I settled down in one of the rocking chairs on my porch with my well-worn copy of The Fellowship of the Ring. The sun was just beginning to set behind one of the large maples on the west side of my property. About an hour and a half of filtered sunlight remained to enjoy the evening breezes and read about Frodo's adventures in Middle Earth. There was a horn toot on the road, and I looked up to see Christina Ashby's blue hybrid turning into the drive.I need to brief the reader on my relationship with Chris. First, we are both professors at the local college. Although she is 20 years my junior, she is one of my closest and dearest friends. Our friendship goes back eight years to when she first arrived at the college. Since neither her family, nor mine is close by, we have tended to look out for one another. For example, when Chris and her husband Jack came down with the flu, my wife Rosalind and I took them food, went to the pharmacy, and helped nurse them back to health. When Roz was sick, Chris brought me meals and tidied up around my house. She spent hours with me at Hospice House and was at my side when Rosalind passed away. Chris and Jack have continued to look out for me since. I have been a frequent dinner guest, they brought me into their home for the holidays, and Chris has come by regularly to check up on me. I was pretty sure that that's what this was – a wellness check.My relationship with Chris has also been flirtatious, but completely platonic. Whenever I am having a conversation with her, we lock into some serious eye contact, not a couple of seconds, but rather several minutes at a time. I get lost in her brown eyes. It's as if we undergo a mind meld and I can't look away.Chris is also into exercise, 5Ks are her preferred poison, but she is also an avid hiker. While motherhood added a pound or two to her short, muscular frame, she is in excellent shape. Her breasts are a B-cup or so and she has a firm, toned butt. Her curvy hips complete the look of her attractive figure. She is a stylish dresser and exceptionally modest. I have never seen more than a bare shoulder or calf.I heard her car door slam, and she soon came into view, rounding the front of the house.“Hey, old man. Aren't you going to Tina's party?”“I wasn't planning on it.”“Well, I'm here to change your mind.”Chris was wearing a knee length, light blue sundress with yellow flats. There was a touch of grey in her brown hair, and it didn't appear that she wore any makeup. She didn't need any. She walked around and climbed the porch steps. I stood and she gave me a nice hug. She's at least a foot shorter than I am, and I could feel her breasts press into my abdomen as she squeezed me tight. I returned the pressure. I gave her a fatherly kiss on the top of her head, smelling some type of herbal shampoo.I said, “Wow, human contact.”“Have you lost some weight? You look great.”“A couple of pounds.” I held her out at arm's length, “You are simply gorgeous.”She gave me another tight hug. We just stood there for a few moments holding each other. I was savoring her friendship. Finally, we eased off. I motioned to the other rocker and we both sat down.Chris reached over, took my hand, and squeezed it, “How have you been? I've hardly seen you this summer.”She didn't take her hand away and I felt like a teenager again, holding hands with the girl next door. This simple human contact had my heart racing. I looked into her brown eyes and was lost. I was tempted to catch a glimpse of her breasts, but her eyes were bewitching.I said, “Been staying busy with the garden and repairing a spot on the back of the outbuilding. I'll send you home with some veggies. Mostly just relaxing and doing a lot of reading. How about you?”She pointed at my book, “I love Lord of the Rings. Well, we went out west right after school let out and saw my folks. Been doing a lot of writing. Getting ready to send Jackie off to kindergarten next month.”“Wow! Kindergarten already. Time flies huh?”“He's growing like a weed. So, are you going to come to Tina's party with me?”“Look at me Chris. I'm all sweaty and dirty.”“Nothing a little soap and water won't take care of. When was the last time you went out? Socially, I mean.”“Your house for Christmas dinner, I think.”“Are you kidding me? Quinn, you must come with me. I need a date besides.”“How about Jack?”Chris looked away. Something was wrong. Her jaw clenched and started quivering. When her eyes returned to mine, they were brimming with tears. “Jack is a shit.”“What's the matter?”Tears started rolling down her cheeks. I reached into my pocket and handed her my handkerchief. “It's clean.”“My dad always has a handkerchief too. Can we walk?”“Sure.”We both stood. Chris led me down the steps and waited at the bottom. She held out her hand and I took it. We started slowly strolling down towards my garden and my small meadow. It took her a moment to start.“He is an absolute fucker.”She didn't look at me, her gaze fixed firmly on the ground ahead. Tears were flowing steadily now. She wiped her face every thirty seconds or so. I also need to tell the reader that Chris rarely uses profanity. The only time she's dropped an f-bomb was when she was really pissed off.Marriage counseling is not something I would ever attempt, but I remember Roz used to ask me to just listen and not try and fix things. I said, “You can tell me as little or as much as you want. You are one of my dearest friends and have seen me through some rough times. The roughest times.” I squeezed her hand this time. “The least I can do is be here for you.”Chris took a deep breath. “Jack and I have been fighting a lot. Two months ago he tried to hit me. He missed and I ran out of the house. I stayed with Zoë for a couple of days.”Zoë is our faculty colleague at the college. Chris and Zoë are thick as thieves and do everything together.“We sort of came to a truce for Jackie's sake, but I haven't slept in our bed since. I use the guest room and lock the door. Jack is being a complete asshole. He acts like he's the only one with a full time job.” I could see the anger rising. “I'm a fucking full-time college professor and he doesn't lift a goddamn finger around the house. I have to do everything for Jackie. And then.”She stopped walking. Sobs started to wrack her body and she put her hands to her face. I pulled her to me and she buried her face in my dirty work shirt. I just held her as the tears flowed, shoulders heaving. I gave her another kiss on the top of her head. I petted her hair, trying to sooth her somehow. It took a while, but the sobbing eased.Then her face turned from sadness to madness, “The son of a bitch didn't come home on Wednesday. I didn't see him until he came home from work yesterday. He said he was out with his buddies all night. Horseshit he was out with his buddies. He was out fucking someone. When he went to work I checked his laundry. There were cum stains on his briefs and they smelled like someone's cunt. Sorry, I hate that word, but that what she is – a cunt. He's a cunt too. I don't know who she is, but she's a cunt. The two of them have fucking destroyed my fucking marriage.”She wiped her face one more time and handed back my handkerchief. “Sorry, it's all wet.” She turned away from me and stood with her hands on her hips, her head thrown back, looking up at the sky. She was taking deep breaths trying to calm herself. I wasn't sure what to do, so I didn't do anything for a minute or two. Finally, I went over and I put my hands on her shoulders. She brought her hand up to mine. She turned, took my hand and lightly kissed it. We were standing on the far side of my property at the edge of a maple grove. The sun was angling across the meadow. The sun turned her hair to a golden brown. Her sad eyes gazed into mine. Still holding my hand, we started moving back toward the house.When we got to the porch stairs, I let her precede me. On the first step she turned around and hugged me again. Of course, I reciprocated and held her tight. With the added height, her face was much closer to mine. She leaned back, but kept her arms around my neck.“Sorry for venting on you. It was really good to get all that off my chest. I've told Zoë a little, but it was good to tell you.” Her right hand came up and cupped my cheek. “You really are a dear friend.”Then she kissed me ever so lightly with those beautiful lips. It was unexpected and took my breath away. Electricity coursed through my body. I felt my cock stir slightly.I must have had a shocked look on my face because Chris suddenly looked concerned, “I'm sorry I was so forward. That was completely inappropriate, but you're so good to me.”I shook my head, “No. That was fine. I always dreamed what it would be like to kiss you. Now I know.”She put her hand to the side of my face again and lightly kissed me again. “So, now you know why I need a date to go to Tina's party. Will you go with me?”She put her arms around my neck again. My hands were on her hips. Looking into her eyes I said, “Chris, I don't think I'm ready.”“What's there to be ready for? You are a handsome, available bachelor who needs to get out and meet some members of the opposite sex.”“But I'm really a widower whose heart is still mending. That's a lot of socializing. I'm just happy being here with you.”She kissed the tip of my nose. “You are sweet, but I worry about you. Please come with me to the party. I promise you we'll have a nice time and I'll have you home before you turn into a pumpkin.” She placed both hands on either side of my face. “For me?”I said, “Not fair. Christina, you know I would do anything for you.”“Then that settles it.” She gave me a final little kiss.“OK, I'll go, but can we just sit here a while? It's nice just being with you. Just you.”Chris turned, climbed the stairs, and we returned to the rockers. She took my hand again, looking over the yard. I could feel her relaxing, the anger subsiding. I looked at Chris and her eyes were closed. She looked peaceful, which made me feel better. I stole a glance at her breasts hidden under the sundress, was that a nipple? I returned to her lovely face. I couldn't take my eyes off her, she simply enchanted me.She brought the back of my hand to her lips and kissed it, “Thank you my friend.” She opened her eyes. “You have no idea what it means to have someone like you, someone who listens.”Chris looked out across the lawn. She rocked back and forth just a little in the rocker. After a couple of moments she said, “This is such a nice place. I know why you love it here. Quiet. Private. Gorgeous view.”I was still looking at her and said, “I love the view.”She looked at me, realized my meaning, smiled, and slapped my hand, “You need to get ready.”“Aye aye ma'am,” I said invoking my naval training.“Need me to help?”“What are you going to do, scrub my back?” I asked sarcastically.Her face lit up and with a broad smile, “Sure. I'll scrub your back.” In hindsight, I think that little exchange opened a door.I looked at her questioningly. Perhaps I was a little dense. “That might be hard. I have a claw foot tub with a shower.”“Well let me see.”I led the way as we climbed the stairs and I showed her the bathroom. “Claw foot tub. Not much room.”“Oh. I didn't expect that. Well, I don't want to get this wet.”She kicked off her yellow flats. Then with one quick motion, she reached down, grabbed the hem of her dress, and pulled it over her head. Christina stood before me completely naked. Looking back, I would have never thought she went commando. She was breathtakingly beautiful. I'm sure my jaw dropped. Her breasts were quite pert, with perfectly proportioned areolas surrounding semi-erect nipples. She had trimmed her pubes into the classic delta; I could see her labia through the short, brown hair. I just stared.“Quinn McMullen, you act as if you've never seen a naked woman before.”“I have never seen you naked before. You are more beautiful than I ever imagined.”“Well, thank you, but I'm only scrubbing your back remember.” There was a bit of a tease in her voice. She reached out and lifted my chin so she could look me in the eyes again. “My eyes are up here. You always look me in the eyes.”“I do. I love your eyes, but you have always been fully clothed.”“You're sweet, but we need to get you cleaned.”“Right.” I struggled to regain control. First, I pulled back the shower curtain and started the hot water. Then I went to the towel drawer, “One towel or two?”“One. I won't get my hair wet.”I took out a towel for each of us and placed them on the towel rack. I reached in and tested the water, bringing up the cold water a bit to adjust the temperature. I put my watch on the vanity, kicked off my shoes, and began taking off my shirt.“Here let me help you,” Chris said as she grabbed for my belt. I slowed the unbuttoning and looked down into her eyes. She had my belt undone, pants unbuttoned, and zipper down in no time. She hooked her fingers inside my waistband and dropped my trousers and skivvies in one quick move. My semi-erect penis popped up.“Oh, nice,” she said smiling. “I guess it has been a while since you've seen a naked woman. She stepped back and admired me, “That's a very nice package you have there, Dr. McMullen. I especially love your ginger pubes.”“You present an equally pleasing view, Dr. Ashby.”She stepped closer, put her arms around my neck, and looked up into my eyes, “Perhaps it would be a good idea if you kissed me. Really kissed me.”I put my hands around her and on to her naked bottom, then lowered my mouth to hers. I closed my eyes and gently touched her lips with mine. Electricity ran down my spine. She pulled my face downward. Her body pressed against mine and my now rigid cock pressed into her stomach. I felt her lips part and I extended my tongue to hers. I moved my hands to her back and pulled her tight. I have no idea how long we kissed for, but it was heavenly.She broke the kiss, looked into my eyes, petted the side of my face, and whispered, “The water's running. We're supposed to be washing your back.”“Right.” I didn't move, looking into her eyes. “Can we just stay like this for a moment?”“We have a party to go to.”“Right,” I said again, sounding like a broken record. I stepped out of my jeans and pulled off my socks. I turned on the overhead shower and stepped over the lip of the tub and in.“You'll probably want to be on this side, so you don't get your hair wet.” I extended my hand, helped her over the side, and then closed the shower curtain. “Here's the soap.”I grabbed the bottle of shampoo and put my head under the showerhead. My mind was in a whirl as Chris started soaping up my back.“Am I getting you wet with this spray?” I asked.“A little, but it's OK.” She began washing my back. She started with my shoulders, kneading the muscles. It was more massage than scrub and it felt wonderful. I stopped for a moment, leaned my head back, and just stood under the shower, luxuriating while Chris' hands worked on my back.She gently slapped my butt, “Back to work.”I rinsed my hair, as her hands moved to my butt cheeks.“You have a very fine ass; do you know that?”“I didn't, but thanks for the compliment. I think yours is quite shapely as well.”“Thanks, but it's flat and boney. It is firm though.”“Speaking of firm bottoms,” I started to turn around with the intention of reaching for that flat, but firm ass.She softly slapped my butt again, “Stay put. I'm not done.” She was grabbing both cheeks and massaging them. She took the soap and slid it up and down my butt crack, then pushed it against my anus. Her finger traced down my soapy crack and stopped at my asshole, then started rubbing with a finger.“That's not my back.” Then I heard an involuntary sound come from my mouth as she slid her finger in up to the first digit. I had never had anyone's finger in my ass that wasn't a medical doctor. I bent forward and her finger went in further. She must have reached my prostate because I suddenly had the urge to pee. Another groan came forth. I have no idea what she was doing, but it was driving shivers up my spine.“Very nice. We'll have to remember that.” Chris said with a giggle as she slid her finger out of my ass, reaching around to lather my erection.“Can I turn around now?”“Yes, you may.”I obeyed.“You have a wonderfully hairy chest.”Her hands started at my shoulders and lathered my chest, then one hand grabbed my cock. I started to reach up for her breasts. She blocked me with her hand, and she said, “I just showered. Remember, I'm here to help you get clean.” Her smile was very mischievous.“As one of my salty chiefs in the navy said, ‘it's yours and you can wash it as fast as you want.'”With that same smile she said, “This isn't sexual; I just want to help you get nice and clean. For the party.”“For the party. Says the beautiful, naked woman who just probed my ass and is now stoking my rock-hard penis. Of course, it isn't.”Chris smiled that naughty smile.A note to the reader, in the manhood department I am only average. Average length, average thickness, and at the ripe old age of 60, I'm not a sexual dynamo. As a man gets older, the pelvic muscles aren't what they used to be. The result is that when I cum, it sort of dribbles out. Nevertheless, Chris had me as hard as a rock and was “cleaning” my cock with a nice stroking motion. This was probably the longest erection I had had in the past decade.Looking into her eyes I asked, “Would you mind if I kissed you again?”She raised her face, closed her eyes, and puckered slightly. I grabbed the shower curtain for balance, bent down, and kissed those soft lips again. Her free hand came up to the side of my face, her lips parted, and our tongues probed the warmth of each other's mouths. She stopped stroking me and just held my erection. Then she removed her hand from my face, grabbed my free hand, and placed it on her breast. Her nipples were stiff, and I moved my hand over her firm, wet mounds. I gently rolled her nipple between my fingers. Her body twitched involuntarily.Chris broke the kiss enough to mumble into my mouth, “Are you clean enough?”I shook my head. Her free hand returned to my face and continued kissing me, our hands fondling one another. Again, I have no idea how long we stood there in the shower enjoying one another. I was afraid to break the spell she had cast.by Quinn_McMullen, for Literotica

This is a new recording of the set Horseshit played at Microclimat Bubbles Block Party. Enjoy! ▸ @horseshit More Slow Is The New Fast Insta ‣ www.instagram.com/slowisthenewfastmusic/ FB Group ‣ www.fb.com/groups/snfmusic/ FB Page ‣ www.fb.com/sitnfmusic/

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Kat returns to talk crappy mediums, fossilized turds and mutant dough! Our original plan was to discuss Kat's experience being subjct to racist and sexist profiling by so-called mediums, but as we realized it was all a bunch of crap, we dedicated the episode to crap itself: Coprolites, shitty meteors, neanderthal turds, square poop of wombats and even poop-eating horses! Then we get hungry and discuss the gross intricacies of bread-making, as Stanley the Living Leaven overflows his bucket in an attempt to take over the planet! ====================== Huge THANK YOU!!! to Katrina for wasting $60 on fake mediums, and who knows how much more on shiny rocks which might as well be polished caveman turd! I am also sending this heart to Pippin, such a cute boy ❤️ Hopefully Kat feeds him properly so he doesn't need to scavenge for poop, unlike his dog friends! Follow Katrina and Pippin's zany adventures on their Instagram @hesmysassafrass ====================== Send us suggestions and comments to tracingowlspodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram @tracingowls or Twitter @TracingOwls Check our Linktree: linktr.ee/tracingowls Intro sampled from "Something strange lurks in the shadows" by Francisco Sánchez (@fanchisanchez) Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com

@CFBPlayoff final 4 set, Transfer Portal getting crowded as mutiny is real @BadgerFootball @StanfordFball @AggieFootball @hfrfromthefloor shares new segment "Absolute HorseShit" $ES_F but 4 charts $CAR $TSLA $F $LBS_F new lows $GC_F falls $JD $BILI chinese https://twitter.com/i/broadcasts/1kvKpmLWggPGE

Welcome back to the Listen Up Podcast! In this episode, the boys were joined by Nicole to analyze Horseshit on Route 66 by The Garden released in 2022. They also discussed moshing, Jordan on Twitter, and The Car/Midnights release days? If you want to connect with the podcast, you can find it at: Twitter: @ListUpPodcast Instagram: @listenuppod TikTok: @listenuppod Nick's Mix and other show playlists: https://linktr.ee/interestpointproductions If you'd like to support the show, you can find our merch at: interestpointproductions.com If you want to connect with the boys individually, you can find them at: Nick - @nick_529 (Twitter & IG) Jordan - @jordanwm_ (Twitter & IG) Jamie - @JamieBeamguard (Twitter & IG)

On this Fresh Drop we talk The Garden's newest album "Horseshit on Route 66". I don't know man. Check it out.   IG: @ebpcast Podcast Website: https://earbudspodcast.podbean.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaXJwMl2HWRhXCOmcf5Y8dg

Hi people and hello my Chilli Con Carnage Crew its Chilli here bringing you my 5 Minute Review on the latest album by The Garden called Horseshit On Route 66. This was a random spotify suggestion due to the album being released on Thursday and I played it and wrote this review very quickly. The band is a very eclectic mix of styles and truly has to be experienced but how do they stack up? Tune in and find out our thoughts on this album along with how it stacks up on the spicy scale. The Garden - Horseshit On Route 66 https://open.spotify.com/album/1Wgcuni5PXwaTtRoo5SbmF?si=M-tyhmB9Q5qjZsf151whlA Live Listen Erased Discord https://discord.gg/4BRr3TWbC2 Live Listen Erased Instagram https://www.instagram.com/livelistenerased/ Live Listen Erased Twitter https://twitter.com/Livelisteneras1 Live Listen Erased Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/groups/380146857215506/ #thegarden #horseshitonroute66 #newmusic #punk #synthpunk #vadavada #review #livelistenerased #5minutereview #musicreview #review #podcast #youtube #discord

Since we're halfway through 2022 I went down my list of favorite releases of 2022 (so far) with local musician and artist Joey Cobra in the WRFA studios!Joey Cobra Links -https://linktr.ee/JoeyCobrahttps://joeycobra.bandcamp.comhttps://www.josephgrice.arthttps://www.instagram.com/joey_cobra_musichttps://www.instagram.com/Joseph_Grice_Arthttps://www.facebook.com/JoeyCobrahttps://www.facebook.com/JosephGriceArtCheck out the Power Chord Hour radio show every Friday night at 10 to midnight est on 107.9 WRFA in Jamestown, NY. Stream the station online at wrfalp.com/streaming/ or listen on the WRFA app.Donate to help show costs - https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/pchanthonypowerchordhour@gmail.comInstagram - www.instagram.com/powerchordhourTwitter - www.twitter.com/powerchordhourFacebook - www.facebook.com/powerchordhourYoutube - www.youtube.com/channel/UC6jTfzjB3-mzmWM-51c8LggSpotify Episode Playlists - https://open.spotify.com/user/kzavhk5ghelpnthfby9o41gnr?si=4WvOdgAmSsKoswf_HTh_Mg

Ben Affleck and Hemp/CBD/THC infused seltzers help us get this one started. Ben don't really look like a people person and are these infused seltzers a placebo?Evan takes us into his first day at the his new place of employment. Yes, Evan is back to the 9 to 5 employment format. Bets for how long this will last are being taken as we speak. Just DM the ETT page to inquire on odds.The boys then decipher multiple types of “shit” words. Horseshit, apeshit, bullshit, dogshit, and batshit capture our attention for the better part of 10 minutes.Watching the All Star game while complaining about the heat in our air conditioned venue pretty take us into the conclusion of this pod.

Welcome to The Profit Talk! In this show, we're going to help you explore strategies to help you maximize profits in your business while scaling and creating the lifestyle that you want as an entrepreneur. I am your host, Susanne Mariga! I'm a certified Mastery Level Profit First Professional. Let's dive into strategies to maximize profits in your business! In this episode, I interview Cyndi Thomason. Cyndi is the author of the bestselling book, Profit First for Ecommerce Sellers and Motherhood, Apple Pie and all that Happy Horseshit.  Much of her time is devoted to speaking at various ecommerce industry events such as ASD Market Week, SellerCon, Prosper, Ecommerce Fuel Live, and at Mom Entrepreneurship conferences, webinars and podcasts. Cyndi loves helping moms and business owners connect with their dreams and build a business that supports their lives.  When she is not working, you can find her in the garden where she cultivates her own dreams both in the soil and in her heart. Learn how to create the business of your dreams, one that supports your family without sacrificing yourself. To learn more about Cyndi,  visit her website at https://www.cyndithomason.com/   Visit my FREE Facebook Group, The Profit First Masterclass, where I'll be sharing additional exclusive trainings to members of the community.   If you're excited about what's next for your business and upcoming episodes, please head to our itunes page and give us a review! Your support will help me to bring in other amazing expert interviews to share their best tips on how to powerfully grow in your business!  DISCLAIMER: The information contained within these videos is provided for informational purposes only and does not constitute, an accountant-client relationship. While we use reasonable efforts to furnish accurate and up-to-date information, we assume no liability or responsibility for any errors, omissions, or regulatory updates in the content of this video. Any U.S. federal tax advice contained within is not intended to be used for the purpose of avoiding penalties under U.S. federal tax law. 

Bryce's 'shituation' after catching a Marlin, why you're going to hell, dumb stuff you'll never do again, Headlines or Horseshit, research Ryan on Sex Positions and why Rog is a Short King!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's is got to do with grief?

Cousin Sal and the Degenerate Trifecta are back and are keeping an eye on the Mets game as Tylor Megill has a no-hitter going through four innings. Last night's Race to Ten fell flat as the Warriors started out slow and couldn't get much going. Plus, producer Eddie Spaghetti is upset the Rangers lost Game 1 in their series against the Penguins and makes the case why a potential Rangers game-winning goal in regulation should not have been overturned. Eddie is still confident the Rangers will win the next four and advance. Next, the guys recap Tuesday night in the NBA as the Celtics and Grizzlies both win and even their series as Parlay Kid cashes on his bet that both teams would bounce back at home and take Game 2. Sal is upset that comedian Jo Koy for messing up the NBA's schedule as he is performing at the Chase Center and the Warriors can't play Game 3 until Saturday. Brother Bri cashes in on Tyler Herro winning the NBA's Sixth Man of the Year which he took at 21-1. The guys give out their picks for tonight's NBA playoff games as Parlay Kid likes the Sixers role players to step up against the Heat and Sal likes the Suns to cover against the Mavericks. Plus, some NHL playoff bets. Finally, with the Kentucky Derby this Saturday Babyface Joel plays a game called “Horse or Horseshit” to see if the guys know the difference between actual horses running in the race and completely made-up ones.

I Interview Cyndi Thomason, mother and Entrepreneur, as she shares the tale of her journey from corporate America to stay at home mom, homeschool parent, and business owner. Cyndi is a pioneer in creating a business that works with family life. Her book, "Motherhood, Apple Pie, and all that Happy Horseshit" comes out on May 4, 2022. Make sure to pick it up! You won't want to miss this! You can get it here on Amazon https://amzn.to/3gwCKYe. Visit her website at https://www.cyndithomason.com/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Horseshit and Le Pépiniériste meet again for an explosive result

I hope you enjoy this sneak peek of Mungwort Chapter 3—What in the Happy Horseshit is This?Preorder the Mungwort Total Bundle HERE.In the Mungwort Total Bundle, you get:1 Mungwort ebook (digital download)1 Mungwort audiobook (digital download)1 Mungwort Hardcover (Hardback: Jacketed Case Laminate; black & white on groundwood paper; 280 pages)1 Theme song (Cece's Song) (digital download)Mungwort is out now in ebook, paperback, and hard cover.Buy it direct from me HEREBuy it from an online retailer HERE.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/madtales)

Merry christmas, happy holidays, thanks for listening!

Most of us can't understand the science of Covid, so we have to decide who to trust. So when institutions do things that make themselves less trustworthy, that's a major problem. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode 067 of That Was Disappointing is Live. To boldly go to infinity and beyond. Wait — what? Today's Theme: Star Trek. Picard is better than Kirk. Don't @ us. Our first topic is the Prime Directive: Necessary or Horseshit? Lex has had it up to here with the hypocrisy of Starfleet Command. Not to mention the douchebaggery of the jerk in My Octopus Teacher. How does it tie in? Do you care? Please like and subscribe regardless. Our second topic is the worst episode of Star Trek. Wasn't there an episode where Kirk became a shitty lawyer for a Boston firm? Seriously though, Kelly loves both her Trek and Tribbles, meaning there's at least one episode that was spared her wrath. ❤️ Our third topic is the Star Trek character you'd like to have dinner with. Of course, some sexual hijinks/kinks were discussed during this conversation. Would you expect any less from something from the mind of Art? Fortunately, all we have to worry about in Producer Kenny's head is a hamster in a running wheel… Our final topic is whether Star Trek will ever be able to do a series that doesn't require time travel. “Sir this is an Arby's!” For what it's worth, Ken will scream about this trope to everyone he meets on the street. What can we say? He really has a hard-on for Quantum Leap.

Our walking pharmacy Davian is trying new BLANK, Dom has a BLANK and Kat thinks that BLANK is a BLANK.

Our walking pharmacy Davian is trying new BLANK, Dom has a BLANK and Kat thinks that BLANK is a BLANK.

Episode 52... More importantly where does the term Car Dogs come from- well I'm gonna tell you --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

The greatest lie the rich wormed into the brains of the “lower class” is money doesn't buy happiness. Horseshit. Meet Gelly, our Face for Sunday in the Shadows. Support the Channel at: https://www.patreon.com/ncrpproductions

Hey kids do you like the old west? Tales of hero cowboys and dangerous men solving their problems with whiskey and bullets? What about stories of shipping businesses that failed due to massive overhead and mismanagement? If you answered yes to these questions then boy howdy are you in luck! In this episode of HPH we're telling you about a legendary company and the even bigger wild west legends who were a part of that company's story. Grab a drink and hit the dusty trail for this episode of Hundred Proof History titled The Pony Express...Delivering Horseshit Since 1860! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/100proofhistory/message

lets go bruins! have a great day everyone! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/ybtpih/message

The boys discuss Sandler’s big movie, Big Daddy. They talk Farley, Amy Pascal, producers, our origin story, Columbo, the “bigness” of it all, Sandler’s kid co-star strength, the introduction of “The Salesman,” Leslie Men, Horseshit, Styx, Schneider, Sandler’s cosplay, Razzies, GLAAD, & PTA. Links: Ben talking Big Daddy on the Overtalking PodEvery Sandler Scream One of P.T. Anderson's 30 favorite films. --Keep up with the show on twitter or instagram @sandtrappod, dm us there or email us at yabbayew@gmail.com  Hosts  Ben Kasl (instagram @ben.kasl)  Jeffrey Lehman (twitter @Dostojeffsky)  Cover Art  Madeline Horwath (instagram @madelinehorwath) 

Pikes Peak Hill Shine is applied to a night of the Dread RPG and a walk back in time to Prince Paul's brilliant productions guest shots.

back on the ranch with our good buddies tim and the great richini, this one goes into the wild world of the great american band, psychedelic horseshit. band talk, tour talk, and much, much more so remember, get yer fix on route 666! JOIN THE JUNKHEAD NATION JUNKHEAD POD - https://www.instagram.com/junkhead_pod/ MY PERSONAL ACCOUNT - https://www.instagram.com/dirtvoyeur/ JUNKHEAD ON ETSY - https://www.etsy.com/shop/JUNKHEADbodega TIM'S FACEBOOK - https://www.facebook.com/tomothymoller TIM'S TWITTER - https://twitter.com/antifaniles TIM'S IG - https://www.instagram.com/queencitymadman/ THE GREAT RICHINI - https://www.instagram.com/thegreatrichini/ OPENING TRACK - https://soundcloud.com/amantsecret/space CLOSING TRACK - https://soundcloud.com/amantsecret/spirit --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/junkhead-pod/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/junkhead-pod/support

Jann Arden is a Canadian music icon and a fierce defender of animal rights. Jann joins Nate to discuss the cruelty involved in the live export of horses for slaughter and her work to end that cruelty through the HORSESHIT campaign and with the Canadian Horse Defence Coalition.Find out more and support the campaign at horseshit.ca 

Can the individual win against the big banks in the battle of Gamestop stonks in the new meme economy? In this episode of 'Meanderings' Juan and I discuss: how one should behave when called out for getting something wrong, the hilarious situation of a reddit group fighting against the financial system, why the banks will probably end up winning the fight, understanding a book by only hearing its reviews, what heavy squatting actually feels like and a fun hypothetical of taking psychedelics with Sam Harris and smoking weed with Mike Tyson.As always, we hope you enjoy, Mere Mortals out!Timeline:(0:00) - Horseshit not bullshit(0:26) - Mere Mortal Moments(1:14) - Sesame Street debacle(3:14) - Getting things wrong(10:12) - Gamestop & Wall St(20:00) - The banks always win; they set the rules(23:13) - Greed is the wanting of fast money(24:46) - Can you understand a book without reading it(27:12) - What a 200 kg squat feels like(28:59) - Taking drugs with a famous person(32:21) - Losing your head with Mere MortalsAbout Mere Mortals:Deep conversations with a light-hearted touch. Daily uploads @ 5pm AEST. 4M's, Book Reviews, Musings, Bonus, Themed Podcast, Conversations & Meanderings.Connect with Mere Mortals:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meremortalspodcast/

Jann Arden has been a champion for animals for a large portion of her life. Her latest crusade is around the export of horses to Asian countries for their consumption as food. They're confined in disgusting and horrid conditions. She tells you how you can help. HorseShit.ca

This week on Long Walks and Robots...It's bring your girlfriend to work day! We are graced by the presence of Lucia the Sex Ghost. She helps Shane and Ryan breakdown Christmas Chronicles 2 with her extensive knowledge of German Christmas lore. They also explore the twisted fairytale horseshit known as Krampus. Mando talk? But of course! Ryan enjoyed chapter 14?? Also, Shane unveils a plethora of theories that are already debunked... fun! The boys also teach you how to properly sleep in a bathroom! Long Live Bill Burr!Enjoy!!

I forget Rohanne's name and say Anyways entirely too much while ranting once again about HBO

Horseshit history's first episode debuts with a lesson on one of the bloodiest shoot outs in American history between The Chicago Police department and Al Capone's gang of mobsters

Horseshit, lemonade & all: our ONE HUNDREDTH episode couldn't have been better with guest Deanna Cheng. Even though this episode is about psychics and mediums, a haunting occurs during this episode - SO LISTEN UP! In this episode, we cover: S5 E10 - George Anderson S7 E13 - Etta Smith S7 E19 - Patience Worth If you like us, please rate and review. Also, follow us on social media! IG - @aspecialpresentationpod TW - @asppodcast

So much to discuss ... The Vikings were knocked out of the Superbowl, Royal Rumble is on the way, and previous caller Tommy Summers from Three Sides of the Coin to discuss his experience talking with the legendary Vinnie Vincent at the Kiss Expo. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Steve talks to his OTHER boss on today's show - PodcastOne founding CEO Norm Pattiz! How much of a grilling does Norm get? And then Steve's talking to you guys! WM19, John Cena, Macho Man Randy Savage, Royal Rumble, Adam Sandler, injuries, and Jerry Jones!