Podcasts about let go so their children can succeed

Words matter. Words are powerful, so powerful that many of us avoid talking about certain topics because of the emotions the words create. Jessica Lahey, the author of the New York Times bestselling books, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence, discusses losing her good friend to depression and suicide and her hesitancy in writing about it. Jessica's work, including her article about her friend Mary Moore, and contact information can be accessed at Jessica Lahey. Our previous discussion is here: The Addiction Inoculation - Avoiding the Addiction Affliction The views and opinions of the guests on this podcast are theirs and theirs alone and do not necessarily represent those of the host, Westwords Consulting or the Kenosha County Substance Abuse Coalition. We're always interested in hearing from individuals or organizations who are working in substance use disorder treatment or prevention, mental health care and other spaces that lift up communities. This includes people living those experiences. If you or someone you know has a story to share or an interesting approach to care, contact us today! Follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, and YouTube. Subscribe to Our Email List to get new episodes in your inbox every week!

This week, we welcome New York Times Bestselling author, Jessica Lahey to The Hamilton Review!  In this conversation, Jessica discusses her two books: The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Enjoy this conversation! Jessica Lahey is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Jess was awarded the Research Society on Alcohol's Media Award for “outstanding journalistic efforts of writers who cover empirical research on alcohol” […] “for her book The Addiction Inoculation and advocacy for the recovery community.” Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont. She has written about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and her biweekly column “The Parent Teacher Conference” ran for three years at the New York Times. She designed and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' award-winning animated series The Stinky and Dirty Show, and was a 2019 Pushcart Prize nominee. Jess holds the dubious honor of having written an article that was later adapted as a writing prompt for the 2018 SAT. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast from her empty nest in Vermont   How to contact Jessica Lahey: Jessica Lahey Official Website   How to contact Dr. Bob: Dr. Bob on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChztMVtPCLJkiXvv7H5tpDQ Dr. Bob on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drroberthamilton/ Dr. Bob on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bob.hamilton.1656 Dr. Bob's Seven Secrets Of The Newborn website: https://7secretsofthenewborn.com/ Dr. Bob's website: https://roberthamiltonmd.com/ Pacific Ocean Pediatrics: http://www.pacificoceanpediatrics.com/    

Welcome to episode 223. Do you rush to fix your child's mistakes, shielding them from failure?  Many moms do!  Maybe it's a forgotten homework assignment or a missed deadline.  This episode is your guide! New York Times bestselling author Jessica Lahey shares a relatable story of when she had to decide: intervene and save her daughter, or let her face the consequences of forgetting homework.  In this episode, you'll learn: •    How Jessica handled the homework situation (and the surprising lesson her daughter took away!) •    The #1 thing moms can do to avoid over-parenting or under-parenting •    How to create situations where your child feels empowered to solve their own problems •    Techniques to raise a confident, capable child who embraces challenges •    Empower your child, not enable them!  Listen to this episode now! This podcast is perfect for you if: •    You want your child to learn from mistakes and build resilience. •    You're worried you might be preventing your child from developing independence. •    You crave tips on raising a strong, capable adult. •    Don't miss out on these valuable strategies! Tune in today! Love this episode? Let's connect: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ This episode is brought to you by Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact Feeling Lost and Uninspired as a Mom? Reignite Your Spark Today! Do you long to rediscover the things that truly light you up as a mom? Feeling stuck in the daily grind can leave even the most passionate moms feeling drained and uninspired. But what if you could recapture that spark, that creative energy that makes you, you? Fertile Imagination is your guide to unlocking your inner powerhouse. This #1 Amazon bestseller, written by a mom who's been there, will help you: •    Uncover your hidden passions and talents. •    Develop a clear vision for your future as a mom and an individual. •    Learn powerful strategies to overcome overwhelm and rediscover your joy. Stop feeling like you're just going through the motions. Light a fire under your dreams and become the best version of yourself for your family! Visit Melissa Llarena: https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas/ right now and grab a FREE chapter of Fertile Imagination! Don't wait! Your most inspired and fulfilling life as a mom is waiting to be discovered. On the same website, we also have a limited-time offer for mom entrepreneurs who want to speak to the right people and catapult their business success in 30 days or less! Not sure how to go first in networking, or perhaps what to say in a follow-up? Answers to these strategic networking questions are addressed in a free resource that has helped me and my clients talk to the right people in way less time than it would take using traditional networking methods! Download my FREE playbook, "From Contact to Connection," and learn: •    Easy steps to find the right contacts and reach out confidently. •    Unconventional follow-up tips to stand out and build relationships. •    Templates to personalize your outreach for maximum impact. Stop feeling lost and reignite your spark! Download your free playbook now and watch your business thrive. Click here: https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas/ Limited time offer! Official bio for Jessica Lahey  Jessica Lahey is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Jess was awarded the Research Society on Alcohol's Media Award for “outstanding journalistic efforts of writers who cover empirical research on alcohol” […] “for her book The Addiction Inoculation and advocacy for the recovery community.” Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont. She has written about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and her biweekly column “The Parent Teacher Conference” ran for three years at the New York Times. She designed and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' award-winning animated series The Stinky and Dirty Show, and was a 2019 Pushcart Prize nominee. Jess holds the dubious honor of having written an article that was later adapted as a writing prompt for the 2018 SAT. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast from her empty nest in Vermont. Links to connect with Jessica Lahey •    https://jessicalahey.com •    https://www.instagram.com/teacherlahey/ •    https://www.facebook.com/jessicapottslahey/ TRANSCRIPT Enjoy the conversation. Jessica Lahey. Thank you so much. And welcome to unimaginable wellness. I am thrilled to have you here. How are you?  I am great looking out on a snowy Vermont woods through my office windows.   Oh, New England. I remember,  New Hampshire and I got a big, thick coat that was for the Arctic weather.  Sounds about right. Yeah, that's about right. And that started at the end of October. So that's, that was always interesting, but yeah. Thank you so much for being here. And why don't you share with listeners a little bit about you, your book, your wisdom, and then we will jump into something that listeners definitely need help with, which is our mental bandwidth. So take it away, Jessica.   Thank you. So I was a teacher for 20 years. I've taught every grade from sixth to 12th grade, but my heart, I have to admit, lies in middle school. I love, love, love teaching middle school. I also taught for five years in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents. So I've sort of taught in hoity toity private schools and in public schools and all across the, the range. And about the same time that I was teaching middle school, I had kids in middle school and I was Finding that  a lot. And I was also at the, at the same time writing, I was a education journalist. So I, as a teacher and as a parent, I was really interested in how kids learn, how to create a situation, a home, a home life that sort of got kids excited about. Inquiry and curiosity and all that sort of stuff. And at the same time, sort of battling my demons of how much do I step in and help with my kids? And how much do I step back and encourage them to be independent? And then saw my students,  a lot of my students parents were doing things that were sort of doing an end run around a lot of learning opportunities. And that was getting frustrating to me. And so I was on kind of a high horse about that and, and sort of, Just irritated with some of the parents of my students, which is really bad, like the better the homeschool relationship is the better kids learn. We know that. But then the journalist side of me, I was writing for the Atlantic and the New York Times and eventually started writing a column for the New York Times called the Parent Teacher Conference, which was a biweekly column sort of for the Parents wanting to ask questions about education and teachers wanting to ask questions about sort of the, it was at the intersection of education and parenting. And so my brain was constantly thinking of what is the impact of this learning environment or this parenting thing. And, you know, what I was sort of seeing was that some aspects of over parenting, whether it's highly directive parenting or controlling parenting, were  undermining. Learning in many respects, but I wasn't really clear on how that was happening or even if that was happening. And so the journalist in me got to go out and research that for like two years, and then write a book about what I found in terms of how parenting styles affect learning, motivation, engagement, all that kind of stuff. And, and then I had to get real about my own parenting. Cause it turns out I was doing the same thing. To my own kids  that I was irritated for the parents of my students were doing. So it became something I had to look at both as a parent and a teacher. And it became personal for me, which was where I had to be quite humbled to take a deep breath and look at my own, my own,  my own habits and what I was doing to my own kids.  I love how you brought both sides of the same coin together, just like being part of the experiment and then also like trying to figure out what's going on in this experiment, like, are we too involved? Are we not? Well, no, we are definitely not not involved. But it's it's just interesting how then you had to almost take your own medicine in a way. Yeah, I appreciate it. Like I said,  Humbling, especially since, well, so much of what I write about, I mean, the gift of failure was my first book and it was very much about the impact of parenting styles over parenting, directive parenting and autonomy, the alternate, the alternative autonomy, supportive parenting and what that does to kids ability to learn and their motivation and stuff like that. And that's based on research that's out there in the field. And then my second book. Was about my coming to terms of the fact that I am an alcoholic and getting control of my own drinking, not really getting control of it, but not drinking anymore, and then having to think about, okay, well, what has the impact been on my children and what will the intact impact continue to be on my children in terms of their own risks? So I have really what I consider to be one of the coolest jobs in the world, which is to get curious about a topic and then. Go in my hidey hole in the woods of Vermont and research the heck out of it for a couple of years and then translate that research for people who don't necessarily want to go around reading studies and, and having to learn the statistics and all that other stuff in order to translate it to real life and how that actually translates to parenting and education and what we do in the classroom and all of that sort of stuff. It's, it's a really, it's perfect for me as a job. Yeah, I mean, it's so interesting, too, that you have this like, or had this fascination for middle school. May I ask, before we move on, why? Because I have kids in middle school and I'm like, who would be fascinated with middle school?  Well, I actually, uh, my very first teaching gig was with kids, was at the Duke Talent Identification Program. And it, there were, they were sort of gifted or really advanced middle school kids, but they weren't, they were so mature for their age in many ways that it, so I moved directly into teaching.  And I thought that's where I would stay. And I had applied for a new teaching job in a high school that I really admired. And I got a note from the head of a middle school saying, is there any way you would come and interview for this job? Would really love to talk to you about it. And I'm like, Middle school. I, I, I don't know. They, they freak me out. I didn't like middle school myself. I can't imagine that I would want to teach kids that young. And she said, look, just come meet them, which was the kiss of death. I went and I met them and I fell in love with them immediately. And it was,  there's something about the fact that they are still. Children, in the sense that their guard isn't completely up, they still need hugs, they still,  there's, there's something really magical about this, this age, and I think the more you understand about the adolescent brain and cognitive development during adolescence, the more  You can understand why middle school is so magical. They, we give them far more than they can handle from the perspective of where their brain development is. And so the expectation is if you're a middle school teacher who absolutely loves this age group, and I don't know why you would teach middle school if you didn't, because it would be maddening.  The expectation is, is that we will watch them screw up all day long over and over and over again, and find those learning moments because Kids aren't always teachable on our schedule. Sometimes it requires us to sort of step back and say, okay, in the back of my mind, I know I'm going to have to talk to this kid about his total lack of organization, but I can't do it right now because he hasn't had lunch yet or his Guinea pig died last night or whatever is happening at home. His parents are getting divorced and now isn't the best time to be talking. It's more than he can handle. So you wait for just that right moment. And over. I was really lucky. I got to teach sixth grade and seventh grade and eighth grade. So I had these kids for three full years, something that education is, is really starting to realize is important, which is sort of tracking teachers along with kids for more than one year. You really get the opportunity to get to know them. And so if anyone's ever parented a middle school kid, sixth grade and eighth grade are like two different planets. So getting to watch them grow from sixth grade to the end of eighth grade and heading off to high school. It just, it's amazing. It's incredible. I love it so much. I have a seventh grader, so I'm smack in the middle. I'm seeing a little metamorphosis. It's kind of like, oh my goodness, what's coming out on the other side. But, but I'll say this, I'll say this. I think as far as this idea of how much a kid can handle, depending on their age. Is it, oh, of course. It's an idea that even it involves us moms too, and how much we can handle. And on that note, I thought we would totally talk about one of your viral videos. I'm going to say Instagram  with regards to a topic that I think a lot of us. might not be able to handle. Like if we have kids and, and we're kind of focused on grades and we want to be sure that they get to like the right high school, the right college and all of that, the topic that you shared your perspective on was my kid left her homework at home. Should I take it to school for her? And the reason why that topic resonated with me is because here's my theory. My theory is. The reason why a lot of moms are challenged in terms of their mental bandwidth, like, why does it feel so stretched? My hypothesis is because they're also taking ownership of our kids burdens and challenges and problems to solve. And along the lines of how much they can handle and how much we can handle, I would love your thoughts. thoughts on this idea of, of homework. It's like, I feel like there's got to be a lot more to it than just a piece of like paper giving to school. There's got to be a lot behind that. So say more.  Yeah. So this story actually is in the book, the gift of failure and is  It's a cool story because since gift to failure came out, there has been a long period of time in which I've seen how the choices I made that day have played out over a long period of time. So you have to understand the backstory, which I explained in gift to failure, which is that my daughter had real issues with organization. I mean, again, this was for her, this was fourth grade, but this is something that could come up any, at any period in time. And what. We understood was that she just at first was that her homework just wasn't getting done. That's what I heard from the teacher like homework is not happening. Well, it turns out that wasn't exactly true. What we did was we talked to her about the homework issue. And what we found out was that actually the homework was getting done. It was just that she was either not handing it in. It was getting lost. It was stuck in the bottom of her backpack. So what was fascinating about that to me is that my assumption was that she was just not doing it. That's Turns out wasn't true. It was a whole different piece of this. So we had to lay out really clear expectations for homework and then really clear consequences for if she didn't hand it in. So our really clear expectations were you'll do it, you'll do it to the best of your ability. You'll put it in your backpack, you'll take it back out of your backpack and you will hand it in to your teacher so that your teacher can give you feedback because homework is all about feedback.  And  So by the time this homework was left on this coffee table and my daughter was already out at the bus stop.  And we knew that her major problem was putting the homework in the backpack, taking it out of the backpack, handing it to the teacher. And we'd had a whole conversation about this and we'd been working on this specific thing. And so I went back and forth and back and forth. Do I take it? Do I not take it? In fact, I had to go to the school for something later that day anyway, so it would have been super easy for me to take it. And I actually even went to Facebook and put up on Facebook that this was a challenge for me. I was right in the middle of writing the gift of failure. What I do, blah, blah, blah. And a friend of mine who helps run this website called Grown and Flown and wrote the book Grown and Flown about helping your older kids sort of out of, out of the nest, she said, Jess, I really respect you and I love your work, but I disagree if, if. If this were  your husband and he forgot his, his charging cord at home, then you'd take it to him. Right? Because family, if no one else has your back, right? We show each other, we have their backs and we love each other. And if no one else in the world supports us, our family supports us. And I'm like, Oh crud, what do I do now? Because my instinct is I can't take the homework and not just because my entire very small community knew I was writing a book called the gift of failure about this exact thing. And so I didn't take the homework that day because I realized no, yes, I would take the, the charging cord to my husband, but my husband, always remembers his charging cord. Like that's not an issue we're working on with him. He's an incredibly careful and meticulous person. And so it would be an oddity, an outlier for him to forget something like that. But with my daughter, this is a very specific thing we've been working on. So I didn't take it. I'm also, by the way, not raising my husband. I was raising my daughter with this very specific blind spot in her, in her executive function skills. And so I didn't take it. And what ended up happening was  her teacher got fed up. Wonderful Mr. Dano. I love him so much. I talk about him all the time. Mr. Dano kept her in from lunch, which plus a minus I'm not in agreement with that. We, Kids need exercise, but kept her in from recess and said, this is something that's been going on for too long. It's time that you just, you have to come up with a strategy, like how is tomorrow going to be different from today? And that day, the day I didn't take the homework and did not rescue her, she was forced to sit down and come up with a strategy that would work for her. And that strategy won PS, I had been recommending for ages that she didn't. Listen to came up with her own strategy, which again was the one I had been recommending you forever, but it was the one that she thought she came up with all on her own, which is what matters, which was a checklist, like having a checklist at home so that she remembers everything. And what was so cool about that was.  She's very proud of herself when she told me all about this checklist thing. She had come up with clearly all on her own,  but it's the,  the tool she used, the strategy she used all the way through middle school, all the way through high school. I kept all of them. She would remake them from time to time, depending on what she needed. And she's in college now, and it continues to be the way she thinks about it. What she needs to leave house with or the dorm room with or whatever  And it stuck because it was her Strategy and if I had taken the homework that day She wouldn't have had this moment where she had to talk to an adult about how She needed to be supported in coming up with a solution to this ongoing problem that she wasn't hearing from me and I'm forever indebted to Mr. Dano for, for being that person that really pushed her to come up with something. So it was really hard to stay home that day, especially since it was for a subject that. She was having trouble with, it was kids who were starting to tease her about being the kid that forgets everything. I could have saved her from that if I had just taken the homework that day, but, and it would have made me feel great,  but I had to put off my own, Need to feel good about here's how much I love you. Here's visible evidence of how much I love you for what would benefit her long term, not necessarily that day. And I would have stolen that learning opportunity from her. And to your point,  it's not great at there's another story that I tell in the book, which is that former. Student of mine, we were working on some stuff together about her anxiety and her anxiety around homework and all that stuff. And it was because her parents were so, so invested in helping her with homework every single day, like literally on top of her. And it was causing major chaos, not just chaos, but anxiety in the home. When it came time for her to go off to college and I asked her what she was excited about, she's like, Oh yeah, I'm so excited for this, that, and the other thing. She said, but I'm really, really worried about my parents because I don't know what they're going to do with their time because she had never seen her parents have a life outside of her needs and wants  and schedule. And that's bad for kids. Like we shouldn't. They need to see that we have a life outside of their needs and wants and lives and that we are full people outside of our children. That's how we teach our children to be their own parents who can have a life outside of their own kids and think about things like their relationships and their career and their whatever those other things are outside of kids. So I think it's, we really, really have to balance that stuff and be thinking about what's important for our kids in the long term and what's important for us in the long term.  Absolutely. And as I think about what you're sharing, I'm thinking to myself, okay, so this was like a, a little moment that became a huge learning opportunity, lifelong benefits for your daughter. And I'm curious about for yourself and just like, is this now something that you never had to think about again? Like, how did it like.  Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't that be nice if I never had to think about it again? No, it was fourth grade and you know, this, she continued to be the kind of kid who needed more supports, especially for executive function stuff. And for those people who don't know, executive function stuff is frontal lobe stuff. It's adulting stuff. So the brain develops from the bottom up. We start with like the ability to breathe and the ability and reflexes and the ability to see our heart. But the higher up in our brain, we go, the more we're thinking about like time management, resource allocation, how we segue from one thing to another, starting a task, finishing a task, all that kind of like adulting stuff. That's all frontal lobe stuff. And that is the very last part of the brain to come online. And many, many. Kids, fourth grade, middle school, high school, that part of the brain is not fully online yet. It's not fully online until the early to mid twenties, which if you read my other book about substance use, it's the reason that using addictive substances is so much more harmful to the adolescent brain than it is to an adult brain that's done forming. So for me, I constantly had to think, okay, where is my kid along this continuum of developing executive function? And she's 20 now.  Is she fully cooked yet? No, she, her brain won't be fully cooked until the early to mid twenties. My older kid happened to get there a little bit sooner and my younger kid is getting there a little later and that's totally normal. But how I react to one kid might be a little different from how I react to my other kids simply because.  I know,  I have a pretty good sense of where they are in terms of what they need, and it's when we start  assuming that they need help all the time, when we start assuming that they're not competent enough to do stuff themselves, that's when we start sort of stepping in, doing too much, being overly directive, and possibly fostering what's called learned helplessness, which is teaching our kids Oh, no, I don't think you can do that thing. And then they start to believe it too. And so their immediate reaction becomes, Oh, I need help with this. I can't do it myself. There's no way I could do this on my own. And I see it from the classroom side as a teacher. And I see it at home from my own kids, it still pops up, but it still rears its ugly head sometimes, because is it easier to pretend you can't do it? So mom will do it. Absolutely. And that goes from laundry to loading the dishwasher to pretending that you didn't know that if the dishwasher is already clean, then you can unload it before you drop your stuff in the sink and just walk away. There's that learned helplessness thing is a really tempting  thing to fall into for kids until they're done developing and sometimes beyond. What's so what's so interesting, Jessica, in terms of just like my own experiences, is that. This dynamics of like an overly involved parent doing things for you is alien territory to me. I'm like, oh, that's so fascinating. I, I have a totally different life experience. So here's the challenge that I want to just share with you. Like how, How would a listener who has the opposite experience where she had to grow up very quickly because she was raised by a mom with manic depression? Like, how does someone like me and you, Jessica, teach our kids without breaking them? Because I don't know what they're capable of, but I'm really trying to figure out what are the edges and like, how does one before? For already, like what one kid could handle or not, how do you start like testing this just like, Oh, I think they got this or, Oh no, break them. If they do that. Yeah. So  I love this question because I hardly ever get this question. I, I was raised in a home with an alcoholic parent. I was raised along with some other stuff that I choose to keep private that  I had to grow up really fast and I was in charge of all my stuff. But part of that was really wonderful because part of it was that my parents trusted me to make good decisions and they, and I, you know, Very much wanted to fulfill that expectation. And so  from my perspective, some of that was really great. Like they trusted me to navigate the world and be able to speak up for myself. And they expected that I would speak up for myself and that I would be able to navigate the world. But there is, as you mentioned, so there's, There's a really interesting divide between kids who have, there's this thing called self efficacy, which is the feeling that if you take action, that you can change things. Like, let's say for example, I'm.  I really don't like my college roommate. We're just not getting along and I really think we should switch roommates. And so I know that I could go speak to an advisor or go talk to the college or talk to the roommate and either resolve things or change things up. That's a feeling of self efficacy. I know I can do that. So I tend to have a fairly high level of self efficacy, but there are two kinds of kids who have very low levels of self efficacy. And not only is that. which is terrible for them emotionally, but it's also a really big risk factor for substance use.  Kids who grow up in the foster care system, group homes, homes where they're being neglected or abused, where  you want to change the fact that you're getting hit or that you don't have anyone to turn to, but there isn't much you can do. Do to change that situation, a kid in foster care may have no control whatsoever over where they're living next week. And that can cause some kids to have really low levels of self efficacy. Like no matter what I do, nothing will change kind of thing. But then there are also kids who grow up with every support and financial support and parents doing everything for them. And even those kids can end up in a situation where they're like, well, I don't need to make decisions about things because all decisions are being made for me. Someone is going to figure that out for me. And that's also can foster a really low level of self efficacy. And these are the kids that I saw in my rehab classroom a lot, these two kinds of kids. And so I think One of the best things we can do is really get to know the kid that we have really well. What are their needs? What are their wants? What are, what are the things they love? And let them know that we love them no matter what the outcome is That we're, that we're really interested in the process of becoming, learning, practicing that when we focus overly on the end product, the trophy, the score, the grade, the points, that what we're saying is we don't care how you get there. We just want you to provide these results and. The way we react when they do or don't provide those results.  Can make them can make a lot of kids feel like they are loved more when they get high grades and less when they Get low grades. And in fact, I poll kids on this when i'm in schools And it's really stunning how many kids say? Yeah, I really do believe that i'm loved More when I get high grades and less when I get low grades so doing a lot of this sort of process talk will also get at the topic of Well, do you need support here? Do you want me to step back a lot of Parents don't think to ask those questions, especially when your come kids, your kid comes to you and they're really upset and like we go into that defensive mode and we just want to fix it for them because it's so horrible to hear about our kids being in distress. But a lot of teens will tell you that they don't want the problem solved. They just want to talk about it. They just want to be heard. So.  Making sure your kid feels heard is the number one thing that we can do to make sure that we're not under parenting or over parenting because they're going to tell us if they trust us and if they feel supported in the process of becoming and whoever it is, they're going to be, as opposed to just in the end product, then they hopefully will trust us enough to tell us when they need help and when they need support, and that's when you can get to know Are they asking for help because they're  being helpless here, or are they asking for help because they really, really need help? And it becomes fairly, it's different with each kid, but if I can learn it in a classroom of 30 students, I knew when my students needed real help or were just copping out for the day. And I knew when a student was in distress and not asking for help. That's a matter of looking and listening, listening, listening. And paying attention to who the kid is. And there's one thing I say a lot when I'm talking in schools, talking to parents about gift to failure stuff, which is  that we have to love the kid. We have not the kid we wish we had, because when we love the kid, we have not some imaginary version of our child. We really do get  a feel for their emotional state and their,  their levers for what they want and need from us. And, and that's.  Knowing the kid you have and, and not just the kid you wish you had is sort of the most important thing that I think we can do as a parent.  Yeah, I would agree totally. I think some kids can handle more than other kids, which is an obvious point. But I think as a parent, it's the onus is on us to really like understand, like maybe what are their limits and challenge them a little bit. I mean, I have several anecdotes, which I'll definitely share in the show notes a bit more, but. Yeah. Thank you, Jessica, for this. I think this is important. And so one final question before you share all your socials and where we could get your books and such, but here's the question. So you personally, as a mom, as an author, a New York Times bestselling author, help us understand how you personally have bubble wrapped your sanity along your journey.  Yeah, at the, my ability to say no to things has gotten better. When I first sold The Gift of Failure, I was working full time over more than full time as a middle school teacher. I was teaching six, six class. So I was teaching six individual different classes out of seven periods a day. And I was also working part time as an education journalist. And then I sold my book and I did not want to stop teaching. But I also. I had to weigh sort of what I wanted from my career, and I had always wanted to be a writer, and this was my big chance to sort of do it or not do it right. And I had to, I, the day I quit, I was just Weeping. It was awful. I luckily was able to find a part time job teaching so that I was able to juggle everything, but I couldn't do everything I wanted to do. And granted, this isn't from a perspective of, Oh my gosh, I have choice. That's a place of incredible privilege. And I totally understand that. But being able to say no to some of the things that are shiny objects that I would love to like have on my CV, or that I think could sell a couple extra books, or that might give me, give me another opportunity. I've had to realize that I can't be all things to all people. I can't do everything. In order to be the parent that my teenagers needed, I couldn't also. Teach full time. I just couldn't do it no matter how much I wanted to stay.  And it was really sad, but it was a decision that was really, really good and allowed me, as I said, to find a part time job that did allow me to have a taste of this and a taste of that, and still be there for my kids when they needed me to be. Thank you for that. I think that's helpful. I think saying no is ultimately saying yes to the thing that you really want. So it makes, it makes sense. And I know it's really, really hard, especially when those objects are extra super shiny. So Jessica, share with us where we can continue to follow along your journey and buy your books and support you and learn more about them. Your gift of failure.  So everything is at Jessica Lahey. com, including the daily videos. I was putting up for a while and I'm hoping to return to both on the addiction inoculation and the gift of failure. I do that on Instagram but they're all indexed in the little table of contents on there. You can find out about more about. Possibly getting me to come to your kid's school or some nonprofit organization in your area to speak about either topic. But again, everything is at Jessica Lahey. com and I'm on all of the social places at, at Jess Lahey. Thank you so much. Or at Teacher Lahey, sorry, at Teacher Lahey. Someone over on Instagram took at Jess Lahey, so I couldn't have it. So I'm at Teacher Lahey over on Instagram. Thank you so much, Jessica. I appreciate this.  Thank you so much. This is such, such a fun conversation. Absolutely. Thanks again.  What an amazing conversation with Jessica, and here's why I was so smitten to have a conversation with her. First of all, I think it's so interesting that the topic of over parenting is such a big deal these days because I see it, I'm a witness, I understand it visually. But personally, and maybe you too, I wasn't over parented. I don't know if I would say I was under parented, but maybe right sized parented for my personality and my abilities. So, it's something for you to consider. I think there's two ends, two ways of approaching parenting, probably several. But ultimately, it's something important to understand as far as For each individual child. So here's my quick recap. Number one, kids do need to see that we have lives outside of our kids. And I think that is even more important and possible with the internet, making it more accessible to us. Second point, we have to give kids more credit. We can't assume that they don't know how to do something. I will even add this point. Not only can we not assume that they don't know how to do something. But dare I say, and I'm just saying this cause it's easier to say than to do. What if they actually can do something more simply and better? Right? So that's an opportunity that I think is really helpful. Here's the third one, self efficacy. So for different kids, there's different quote unquote. Levels of abilities, right? And capabilities. So it's beyond just the age because you could have two 12 year olds that have totally different ways of handling the exact same stressful moment. And I think. You see that in one home where you have siblings who see certain situations favorably, potentially, and others, not as much. So it's really important for us as moms, even at the helm of really growing businesses. To really pay attention to the different parenting style needs that our individual children have. And as someone with identical twins, that goes for me too, and maybe for you too. So hope you enjoyed the conversation. I definitely want to invite you to learn more about Jessica. She shared how to reach out to her. And I also want to invite you to head on over to fertile ideas. com. When I say that I am beyond, beyond excited that I am sharing. You know, everything that I've learned over these four years on how to rediscover my own imagination so that this way I could actually have a business that thrives and something that I'm excited about and I feel fully aligned to, which is supporting mom entrepreneurs. It is not an understatement. Your imagination is something that you might not even know has been paused for a decade. And once we hit that play button. And that is a little bit of a pun because that is part of my framework playing with your imagination. There's no telling at how many wonderful ideas you could activate and turn into reality and actually make an impact in the world and on your terms. So head on over to www.fertileideas.com

Season 2 Kicks-Off with Jessica Lahey and her New York Times bestselling book "The Gift of Failure: How The Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed". Lahey is a teacher, speaker and mom who has written about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and her biweekly column “The Parent Teacher Conference” ran for three years at The New York Times.  Listen to our chat from Season One, The Addiction Inoculation and the importance of understanding substance abuse and prevention. Find out more about Lahey and her work at jessicalahey.com and follow on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.  Host Erin Prather Stafford launched Girls That Create in 2019. The site supports the parents and caregivers of creative girls while encouraging greater female representation across the arts. To support the parents and caregivers of creative girls while encouraging greater female representation across the arts, go to girlsthatcreate.com and connect on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and YouTube.   Please support UnsilencedVoices.org. WordofMomRadio.com - sharing the wisdom of women.  

On episode 212, Emily Kircher-Morris and Jess Lahey discuss the importance of understanding and supporting neurodivergent students. Jess highlights the need for teachers to question traditional teaching methods and adapt their practices to meet the diverse needs of their students. They talk about the value of formative assessments, peer-to-peer teaching, and creating an inclusive learning environment. They also explore the overlap between substance abuse and learning differences, emphasizing the importance of early intervention and support. They discuss the need for teachers to gradually release responsibility to students, and empower them to advocate for themselves. Open-minded, reflective, and responsive classrooms best serve the individual needs of students. Takeaways: Question traditional teaching methods and adapt practices to meet the diverse needs of students. Use formative assessments to gauge student understanding and provide targeted support. Create an inclusive learning environment that values peer-to-peer teaching and individual learning styles. Recognize the overlap between substance abuse and learning differences, and provide early intervention and support. Gradually release responsibility to students and empower them to advocate for themselves. This episode is brought to you by the Council for Exceptional Children, dedicated to high-quality education that is inclusive and equitable for individuals with disabilities and/or gifts and talents. Attend their Annual Convention & Expo, March 13-16, 2024 in San Antonio, Texas. Register now at cecconvention.org/, and if you're a school principal, receive free registration by using the code 24CEC100. If you see value in rethinking education and building a stronger classroom, consider joining the Neurodiversity University Educator Hub! It's a group built for educators, and we'll open registration again soon! Sign up to be alerted, and join us for the learning, sharing, and fun! Jessica Lahey is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed, and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and has written about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post and The Atlantic, and her biweekly column, The Parent Teacher Conference, ran for three years at the New York Times. She also designed and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' award-winning animated series The Stinky and Dirty Show, and was a 2019 Pushcart Prize nominee. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast from her empty nest in Vermont. BACKGROUND READING Jessica's website Instagram Threads Facebook LinkedIn The Neurodiversity Podcast is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter/X, and you're invited to join our Facebook Group. For more information go to www.NeurodiversityPodcast.com

Overwhelmed? Tired of people suggesting you “just relax!” or “go easy on yourself!”? Wondering if you should be playing with your kids more? This episode is for you. In this classic replay from 2016, Meagan and Sarah answer a question from Sheena (mom to a four-year-old, a two-year-old, and an infant!) about how to make time for things that need to be done around the house AND still connect with her kids. We normalize feeling overwhelmed, offer concrete tips for staying reasonably caught up, and share our experience balancing expectations, reality, and good-enough productivity. Join us!“Hi Sarah and Meagan, this is Sheena from Oregon, and I have two questions that both relate to time management. I have a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old and a 3-month-old and I'm finding that I'm always behind, and I'm wondering if you have any tips for how to get ahead? Also, how do you find time in the day to play? I find that I'm always just trying to get the kids busy so I can get on to my next task, and I never have time to just sit down and play. Thanks for your advice!”HELPFUL LINKS:Do you listen to The Mom Hour on the Apple Podcasts app? Apple had an update and unsubscribed people (argh!), so please make sure to click the (+) sign follow and subscribeDo you have an idea for an episode topic? Email Meagan and Sarah directly! We love to hear from you.We referenced Episode 10: We Hate Fun!Sarah still loves The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica Lahey (this is an affiliate link)Other articles and episodes about time management and productivityOTHER HELPFUL LINKS:Visit our websiteCheck out deals from our partnersFollow us on InstagramJoin our private listener group on Facebook (be sure to answer the membership questions!)Sign up for our newsletterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey, a mother and a teacher, lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most importantly, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children's failures. Hard-hitting yet warm and wise, The Gift of Failure is essential reading for parents, educators, and psychologists nationwide who want to help children succeed. How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed "The Gift of Failure" by Jessica Lahey - Book PReview Book of the Week - BOTW - Season 7 Book 2  Buy the book on Amazon https://amzn.to/47wfcLd GET IT. READ :) #failure #growth #awareness  FIND OUT which HUMAN NEED is driving all of your behavior http://6-human-needs.sfwalker.com/ Human Needs Psychology + Emotional Intelligence + Universal Laws of Nature = MASTER OF LIFE AWARENESS https://www.sfwalker.com/master-life-awareness --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sfwalker/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sfwalker/support

Jessica is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Jess was awarded the Research Society on Alcohol's Media Award for “outstanding journalistic efforts of writers who cover empirical research on alcohol” […] “for her book The Addiction Inoculation and advocacy for the recovery community.” Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont. She has written about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and her biweekly column “The Parent Teacher Conference” ran for three years at the New York Times.Sober Podcast works on defining recovery one story at a time. We are an addiction podcast and sobriety podcast focused on giving recovery a voice and bringing you enlightening messages of hope every Saturday! Tune in to hear the full interview and find more interviews on www.SoberPodcast.com. To get in touch with our host, Jamie Brickhouse please find him and his critically acclaimed book, ‘Dangerous When Wet: A Memoir of Booze, Sex, and My Mother on the following outlets:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jamie_brickhouseFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/jamiebrickhousestoryteller Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamiebrickhouse/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/jamiebrickhouse Website: https://www.jamiebrickhouse.com/ Support our host, buy his book: https://linktr.ee/Jamiebrickhouse  Visit ‘All Things Sober' on www.SoberVerse.com Support the showContact Sober Podcast:●     Follow on Instagram: @sobervers●     Twitter: @soberverse●     Like us on Facebook!●     Follow on TikTok: @soberverse●     Email us at: info@sobernetwork.com●     www.SoberPodcast.comThanks for your support! Catch a new Soberlebrity guest every Saturday.Support the showContact Sober Podcast: Follow on Instagram: @sobervers Twitter: @soberverse Like us on Facebook! Follow on TikTok: @soberverse Email us at: info@sobernetwork.com www.SoberPodcast.com Thanks for your support! Catch a new Soberlebrity guest every Saturday.

This week on The Perinatal Podcast, Jessica Lahey joins me to chat about how to set our kids up for success in regard to what they put in their bodies even from a young age, what to have intentional conversations about quitting things like piano and soccer, even how to be a happier parent. What a delight it was having Jessica on to share about the effects of over-parenting, how to help build autonomy in our children, and how all of this is not done in one simple conversation, and I'm so excited to share our discussion with you! About Jessica: Jessica Lahey is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Jess was awarded the Research Society on Alcohol's Media Award for “outstanding journalistic efforts of writers who cover empirical research on alcohol” […] “for her book The Addiction Inoculation and advocacy for the recovery community.” Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont. She has written about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and her biweekly column “The Parent Teacher Conference” ran for three years at the New York Times. She designed and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' award-winning animated series The Stinky and Dirty Show, and was a 2019 Pushcart Prize nominee. Jess holds the dubious honor of having written an article that was later adapted as a writing prompt for the 2018 SAT. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast from her empty nest in Vermont. Thanks for joining us on The Perinatal Podcast! Find Jessica! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teacherlahey/ Website Links: https://linktr.ee/teacherlahey Thanks so much for joining me for this episode of The Perinatal Podcast. I'd love for you to write a review of my show on your app, and don't forget to subscribe so you get a notification when new content is posted. Take a moment to leave a 5-star rating, too! You can access additional mental wellness content and ad-free episodes by purchasing a monthly subscription at ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/theperinatalpodcast/subscribe⁠ or ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-perinatal-podcast/id1590957531⁠. Follow me at @AmplifyWellnessWithMeg on Instagram and find Meg Duke LCSW on Facebook. You can also look for The Perinatal Podcast content by searching the hashtag, #ThePerinatalPodcast. Our show is executive produced by David Presley and produced by Meg Duke. Our theme song was written and performed by Antwone McDuffie.

Jessica Lahey is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Jess was awarded the Research Society on Alcohol's Media Award for “outstanding journalistic efforts of writers who cover empirical research on alcohol” […] “for her book The Addiction Inoculation and advocacy for the recovery community.” Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont, and serves as a prevention and recovery coach at Sana, a medical detox and recovery center in Stowe, Vermont. She has written about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and her biweekly column “The Parent Teacher Conference” ran for three years at the New York Times. She designed and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' award-winning animated series The Stinky and Dirty Show, and was a 2019 Pushcart Prize nominee. Jess holds the dubious honor of having written an article that was later adapted as a writing prompt for the 2018 SAT. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast from her empty nest in Vermont. This week as Jeff and Tricia launch the new Social Emotional Learning series they talk with Jessica specifically about her book The Gift of Failure. Find your copy: On Sale Now via Bookshop Learn about Jessica Lahey's other work: https://www.jessicalahey.com/ We are so grateful to the team at Mackin for sponsoring this episode and the full SEL series. Learn more about them: Mackin  Want to discuss your thoughts on this episode? Join us at our camp! camp.shiftingschools.com Continue your learning with Jeff and Tricia Learn how www.shiftingschools.com

Welcome to another episode of The Remarkable Coach podcast. In today's show, we're excited to introduce our guest, Vicky Knee. Vicky is an experienced coach who has helped many people become better versions of themselves. Vicky cares about others and has a talent for assisting people. Whether helping out at a store or advising on personal matters, she's always ready to help. Seeing that many people need someone to guide them, she became a coach to offer her expertise. Vicky has spent much time learning how to ask the right questions and stay unbiased. She enjoys both learning and using her coaching skills to make positive changes in people's lives. Her passion for helping others and her commitment to growing personally drive her daily. In our talk, Vicky talks about why asking for help is important, especially when we're tired of doing things alone. She suggests that friends and family are great, but they might not always give the best advice. Vicky believes everyone can learn to coach themselves and shares some practical tips for different situations. Her clients are smart and self-aware individuals who understand the value of guidance and seek Vicky's help. We also talk about how it's okay to challenge the usual business ways and take thoughtful risks. Vicky shares the good and tough lessons that come with taking risks and being different. We also explore how it's difficult to separate personal life from work life, especially for bosses. Vicky talks about how important it is to think positively about ourselves and build good relationships to succeed in both areas. Listen in as we chat about how negative thinking affects us, how being understanding and clear helps others, and why we shouldn't always care about what others think. Finally, we get a sneak peek into Vicky's upcoming podcast. She's putting together a mix of interesting conversations to make a fun and informative show. We'll hear about why she's excited about this new project. So, put on your headphones and join us for another episode of The Remarkable Coach. A bit about Vicky: Vicky helps «clients navigate through the human, emotional, and sometimes irrational stuff you need to work through so you can be the best you. She likes to coach with methods that are helpful, practical, and simple to implement. Her training includes life, business, mindset, transformation, (coaching) and cognitive behavioral therapy. Where to find Vicky: https://vickyknee.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/vickyknee/ Other Links: https://www.facebook.com/VickyKneeHelps Book Links: The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica Lahey How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self by Dr. Nicole LePera  Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Malt

How can parents help their children navigate the minefield of growing up without making poor choices around substance use? Jessica Lahey is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Jessica discusses substance use disorder research and the dialogue needed between parents, teachers, and children to help young people make good choices. Until children's brains fully develop, they are at greater risk for greater harm from substances. Jessica's work and contact information can be accessed at https://www.jessicalahey.com We're always interested in hearing from individuals or organizations who are working in substance use disorder treatment or prevention, mental health care and other spaces that lift up communities. This includes people living those experiences. If you or someone you know has a story to share or an interesting approach to care, contact us today! Follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, and YouTube. Subscribe to Our Email List to get new episodes in your inbox every week!

We are delighted to host New York Times bestselling author Jessica Lahey on THE FULLEST Podcast! For over twenty years, Jessica has taught sixth through twelfth grade in both public and private schools; she spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents and serves as a prevention and recovery coach in a medical detox and recovery center. Her written pieces about education, parenting, and child welfare have been shared in highly recognized publications; she is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Trigger warning: this episode may be sensitive for some listeners as we discuss generational trauma with alcoholism, the addiction lineage, substance abuse, resources to get help, and Jessica's journey with sobriety. As you tune in, we ask you to reflect on the following: “Why is alcohol not working for you?” and “Is alcohol hindering your life?”

Originally released on May 23, 2021Jessica Lahey is a mother, teacher, and author of The New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Jessica, who has been sober for eight years, says her new book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence, came out of concern for her own children following that same path. The book delves into genetics, psychology, and the science of addiction and offers practical things parents can do to keep their kids from suffering from addiction.Read Jessica's blog on her website here.Support the showFor more episodes and to read Angela's blog, just go to our website, Emilyshope.charityWishing you faith, hope and courage! Podcast producers: Casey Wonnenberg & Anna Fey

None of us want our kids to grow up addicted to alcohol or drugs, but how do we prevent it? It turns out there are research-based ways to inoculate our children to the harmful effects of addiction (turns out, it starts with being open, honest and giving good information). Jessica Lahey comes on the Mindful Mama Podcast to help us raise healthy kids in a culture of dependence. If you enjoyed this episode, and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me @mindfulmamamentor. Have you left a review yet? All you have to do is go to Apple Podcasts or  Stitcher (or wherever you listen), and thanks for your support of the show! Jessica Lahey is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Get Hunter's book, Raising Good Humans now! Click here to order and get book bonuses! ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindful mama mentor. She coaches smart, thoughtful parents on how to create calm and cooperation in their daily lives. Hunter has over 20 years of experience in mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Be a part of the tribe—we're over 25 thousand strong! Join the Mindful Parenting membership. Take your learning further! Get my Top 2 Best Tools to Stop Yelling AND the Mindful Parenting Roadmap for FREE at: mindfulmamamentor.com/stopyelling/ Find more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at MindfulMamaMentor.com. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://mindfulmamamentor.com/mindful-mama-podcast-sponsors/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all need help committing to the long view as we parent; it's easy to let anxiety and social comparison hijack our highest ideals and goals for our children. Enter Jessica Lahey, author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. In this podcast episode, Sam Shapiro, Head of Marin Montessori School, speaks with Jessica about her top suggestions for parents for helping their kids develop robust independence, inner motivation to learn, and self-possession. Key topics in the podcast include: A helpful parenting hack in the form of a question that will guide us when we're deciding whether to step in to take over for our child The value of focusing on process over product, especially for anxious kids The difference between competence and confidence The counterbalance parents can provide to the more harmful messages our children receive about the source of their worth The value of strengths-based parenting

One of the hardest and scariest parts of parenting is learning how to navigate substance abuse and dependency within our kids.   Of course we don't want our kids to use drugs or alcohol- and we know we can't control them.    So in a society with rising dependency on harmful substances, how can we help our children stay safe and make conscious choices?   Joining me for this conversation is Jessica Lahey, the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence.    We talk about: [3:05] How Jessica came to write her new book [5:50] Using authoritative parenting styles to help kids not develop substance abuse problems [12:20] The important role connection to parents plays in kids growing up [15:30] Jessica's perspective on giving children alcohol at home [20:35] Where the ‘inoculation' theory comes from [29:05] Risk factors for teens [34:35] How to handle if your kids ask if you've done drugs or alcohol [39:35] The dopamine risk  [44:20] Post-pandemic statistics on drug and alcohol abuse [46:05] How Jessica chose to raise her kids differently  [48:20] Jessica's advice to her younger parent self   Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont, and serves as a prevention and recovery coach at Sana, a medical detox and recovery center in Stowe, Vermont. She has written about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and her biweekly column “The Parent Teacher Conference” ran for three years at the New York Times.    She designed and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' award-winning animated series The Stinky and Dirty Show, and was a 2019 Pushcart Prize nominee. Jess holds the dubious honor of having written an article that was later adapted as a writing prompt for the 2018 SAT. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast from her empty nest in Vermont.   Resources mentioned in this episode: Free ‘How to Stop Yelling' Course: www.sarahrosensweet.com/yelling  Purchase Jessica's books here: https://www.jessicalahey.com/books   Connect with Jessica Lahey On YouTube On Twitter On LinkedIn On Facebook https://www.jessicalahey.com/   Connect with Sarah Rosensweet   On Instagram On Facebook https://www.sarahrosensweet.com  Book a short consult or coaching session call

This week on Dopey! We are joined by the brilliant writer, journalist, teacher and attorney, Jessica Lahey! Jess is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Jess tells us all about her journey to recovery, and what she learned to help kids not make the same mistakes we did! PLUS! EMAILS, VOICEMAILS and tons of Gratitude!   More about Dpey: Dopey Podcast is the world's greatest podcast on drugs, addiction and dumb shit. Chris and I were two IV heroin addicts who loved to talk about all the coke we smoked, snorted and shot, all the pills we ate, smoked, all the weed we smoked and ate, all the booze we consumed and all the consequences we suffered. After making the show for 2 and a half years, Chris tragically relapsed and died from a fentanyl overdose. Dopey continued on, at first to mourn the horrible loss of Chris, but then to continue our mission - which was at its core, to keep addicts and alcoholics company. Whether to laugh at our time in rehab, or cry at the worst missteps we made, Dopey tells the truth about drugs, addiction and recovery. We continually mine the universe for stories rife with debauchery and highlight serious drug taking and alcoholism. We also examine different paths toward addiction recovery. We shine a light on harm reduction and medication assisted treatment. We talk with celebrities and nobodies and stockpile stories to be the greatest one stop shop podcast on all things drugs, addiction, recovery and comedy!

In this weeks podcast we are joined by Jessica Lahey. We discuss her second book, "The Addiction Inoculation,  Raising Healthy kids in a Culture of Dependence. "  Jessica discusses her relationship with alcohol and her journey to sobriety, as well as providing clear, evidence based information on how to help our children avoid substance abuse.  Jessica Lahey is also the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont, and serves as a prevention and recovery coach at Sana, a medical detox and recovery center in Stowe, Vermont. She has written about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and The New York Times.  She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast from her empty nest in Vermont. If you enjoyed what you heard and find this flavor of vulnerability delicious, please let your friends know on Social Media! #whereveryougotyapodcastwww.instagram.com/whereveryougotyaDo you have a future topic you'd like Vanessa to discuss or would you like to be a guest?  Email your suggestion to: vw@vanessawelstead.com 

Jessica Lahey returns for a part 2 discussion!  On last weeks episode we discussed her book, "The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed" and on this weeks podcast we discuss her second book, "The Addiction Inoculation,  Raising Healthy kids in a Culture of Dependence. "  This podcast episode is an important episode for parents raising children ---as she gives clear, evidence based information on how to help our children avoid substance abuse.  Her book is an incredible and pertinent book for parents to read.In addition to being an accomplished, New York Times best selling author, Jessica received her law degree, and she spent many years as an English and writing teacher.  She also cohosts a writing and creativity podcast, #amwriting.  Dr Jessica Hochman is a board certified pediatrician, mom to three children, and she is very passionate about the health and well being of children.  Most of her educational videos are targeted towards general pediatric topics and presented in an easy to understand manner. Do you have a future topic you'd like Dr Jessica Hochman to discuss?  Email your suggestion to: askdrjessicamd@gmail.com. Dr Jessica Hochman is also on social media:Follow her on Instagram: @AskDrJessicaFollow her on TikTok: @AskDrJessicaSubscribe to her YouTube channel! Ask Dr JessicaSubscribe to this podcast: Ask Dr JessicaSubscribe to her mailing list: www.askdrjessicamd.comThe information presented in Ask Dr Jessica is for general educational purposes only.  She does not diagnose medical conditions or formulate treatment plans for specific individuals.  If you have a concern about your child's health, be sure to call your child's health care provider.

This weeks podcast is joined by  educator, writer and speaker Jessica Lahey (@jesslahey), who holds a deep interest in exploring what motivates children to learn.  Jessica is a graduate of the University of Massachusetts with a J.D. concentrating on juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law.  She has also spent many years as an English and writing teacher, a correspondent for the Atlantic, a commentator for Vermont Public Radio, and she wrote the “Parent-Teacher Conference” column for the New York Times.She is also the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed.  She also cohosts a writing and creativity podcast, #amwriting.Dr Jessica Hochman is a board certified pediatrician, mom to three children, and she is very passionate about the health and well being of children.  Most of her educational videos are targeted towards general pediatric topics and presented in an easy to understand manner. Do you have a future topic you'd like Dr Jessica Hochman to discuss?  Email your suggestion to: askdrjessicamd@gmail.com. Dr Jessica Hochman is also on social media:Follow her on Instagram: @AskDrJessicaSubscribe to her YouTube channel! Ask Dr JessicaSubscribe to this podcast: Ask Dr JessicaSubscribe to her mailing list: www.askdrjessicamd.comThe information presented in Ask Dr Jessica is for general educational purposes only.  She does not diagnose medical conditions or formulate treatment plans for specific individuals.  If you have a concern about your child's health, be sure to call your child's health care provider.

Parenting begins to take on a new meaning when your child reaches the pre-teen years. For both parents and kids, the move to middle school can be a difficult adjustment. Keeping track of a schedule, organizing a binder, and navigating a new campus are challenges for still developing brains. If you are worried that your child has been thrown in the deep end, this episode is for you. We'll talk about how the everyday disasters of middle school are actually helping your child become more resilient. Today's reading came from Jessica Lahey's book The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Failure-Parents-Children-Succeed/dp/0062299255 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/everydaystrong/message

If you have teenagers like I do, or have kids that will become teenagers, or are considering having kids that will become teenagers, or even know anyone with a teenager… …you've probably thought about kids and substance abuse. Of course, all parents want to give their kids the best possible resources and support to prevent problems with drugs and alcohol. But what does that look like? Is it teaching moderation or prohibiting substances before the legal age? How much does genetics play into it? Those are big, important questions, considering that according to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, teen drug addiction is the nation's largest preventable and costly health problem. And nine out of 10 adults with substance use disorder report they began drinking and taking drugs before age 18. My guest on this podcast, Jessica Lahey, was born into a family with a long history of alcoholism and drug abuse. Despite her efforts to avoid that path, Jessica struggled with alcoholism herself until 2013, when she got sober in her early 40s. Her latest book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence, is a comprehensive resource that parents and educators can use to help prevent substance abuse in children. A parent herself, Jessica has also learned firsthand how to navigate this highly sensitive and important topic. Jessica is also the author of the New York Times bestselling book The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. For more than twenty years, Jessica has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont, and serves as a prevention and recovery coach at Sana at Stowe, a medical detox and recovery center in Stowe, Vermont. Jessica writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, is a book critic for Air Mail, and her biweekly column “The Parent Teacher Conference” for three years at the New York Times. Jessica designed and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' award-winning animated series The Stinky and Dirty Show, and was a 2019 Pushcart Prize nominee for her Creative Nonfiction magazine essay, “I've Taught Monsters.” The co-host of the #AmWriting podcast, with bestselling authors KJ Dell'Antonia and Sarina Bowen, Jessica also holds the dubious honor of having written an article that was later adapted as a writing prompt for the 2018 SAT. Jessica will be soon featured in a special chapter of my Boundless Parenting book, for which this podcast interview is part of a series leading up to the official book launch in late 2022. She lives in Vermont with her husband, two sons, and many dogs. Episode Sponsors: DNA COMPANY: If you value your health and want the tools to help you avoid serious diseases, then go ahead and order this DNA test from The DNA Company. All listeners are eligible to receive a $50 discount using code BEN at checkout.  BGL Careers: Check out our open positions at BenGreenfieldLife.com/Careers Wild Health: Wild Health, a precision medicine company, is hosting a series of events with some amazing guests, with the intention of providing people the opportunity to heal their spirit, connect with their true nature and wake up to reality, they're calling it the ‘Awake and Aware Series.' If you'd like to join, visit bengreenfieldlife.com/wildhealthprinciples and use code BG15 to get 15% off the event price.  Clearlight Sauna If you want to sweat buckets in the privacy of your own home, go to HealwithHeat.com use code: BEN for a discount and free shipping – this is a huge savings because these saunas are big, and heavy and well-made.  Joy Mode: Want to spice things up in the bedroom and boost your sexual performance? And do it naturally without nasty prescription drugs? We have a special offer for the Ben Greenfield audience. Go to usejoymode.com/GREENFIELD or enter GREENFIELD at checkout for 20% off your first order.  WATER & WELLNESS: Use code GREENFIELD to save 10% on all orders. Go to WaterAndWellness.com/Greenfield

During this episode of the Vision Driven Mom podcast, Jessica Lahey shares gold nuggets from her book The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and the important lessons we can learn alongside our kids when we, as parents, get out of the way. WE TALK ABOUT: What executive functioning is and why it's crucial to foster these skills during adolescence Puberty is so much more than hormones. The human brain goes through an incredible growth spurt during adolescence Middle school is the ideal time to let our kids fail. Our job during this time is to be there when they screw up. Her amazing new book The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids In A Culture of Dependence ………….. GUEST RESOURCES Jessica Lahey is a teacher, writer, and mom. Over twenty years, she's taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post the New York Times and various other outlets, and is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She is a member of the Amazon Studios Thought Leader Board and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' The Stinky and Dirty Show. Jessica earned a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law. She lives in Vermont with her husband and two sons. Her second book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence was released in April 2021. Website: http://www.jessicalahey.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/jesslahey Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teacherlahey Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessicapottslahey Podcast: https://amwriting.substack.com/ *If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Screenshot the episode on your device, post it on your Facebook profile and tag me @visiondrivenmomwithadhd ………….. SPONSOR Radical Mother Village Foundations Course by Christa Bevan for emotional regulation: bit.ly/vdm-radicalmother-foundations * I am an affiliate of Christa's so if you decide to purchase the course I'll get a little love from her. I only recommend and allow sponsors that I have personal experience with and Christa and her offerings are the real deal. ………….. VISION DRIVEN MOM RESOURCES Share: #visiondrivenmompodcast Website: http://www.visiondrivenmom.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visiondrivenmom/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visiondrivenmomwithadhd VIBE-CARE TOOLKIT: www.vibecaretoolkit.com THE OVERWHELM CURE: www.overwhelmcureguide.com VISION WALK AUDIO GUIDE: www.visiondrivenmomwalk.com ………….. SUBSCRIBE Apple | Google | Spotify | iHeart | Audible | Stitcher If you're enjoying the podcast, subscribe, rate and review it in iTunes. It's one of the best ways you can help new listeners find us.

My guest is Jessica Lahey, an educator, writer, and speaker, and the author of one of my favorite parenting books, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Jess shares her insights about how we can best prepare our kids for an independent, successful adulthood in the way we practice autonomy supportive parenting versus overparenting, what it means to let our kids “fail” to help them thrive, how we can help our kids learn how to “sit with frustration,” and much more.  Jessica Lahey is an educator, writer, and speaker. She is an English and writing teacher, correspondent for the Atlantic, commentator for Vermont Public Radio, and writes the “Parent-Teacher Conference” column for the New York Times.  Jessica earned a B.A. in Comparative Literature from the University of Massachusetts and a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and two sons.  Things you'll learn from this episodeThe difference between overparenting and “autonomy supportive parenting"How many parents underestimate their kids and might be unknowingly fostering learned helplessness in themHow we can build scaffolding for our kids What Jessica wishes parents of atypical kids knew about teachersJessica's advice for how we can best advocate for our kids in schoolHow we can foster more of a growth mindset in our children, especially those who are perfectionist, as well as how to NOT foster “learned helplessness” Resources mentioned about the gift of failureJessica Lahey's websiteThe Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica LaheyWhy Parents Need To Let Their Kids Fail (The Atlantic article)Dr. Ross Greene Talks About Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (podcast episode)The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous and Smart About Money by Ron LieberAm Writing (Jessica's podcast)The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Dr. Ross GreeneJessica Lahey's speaking bibliographyWhen Children Say ‘I Can't,' But They Can, and Adults Know It (NY Times article by Jessica Lahey)Support the show

If you're a parent, you likely want your kid to flourish and succeed. And according to guest today, Jessica Lahey, the best way to do that is to let your kid fail. Jessica is a teacher and New York Times best-selling author of the book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. On today's episode she shares how to learn to step back and embrace your child's failures for their future success and resiliency. This episode was published first by B-Well Together, our sister podcast.

It's spring! Does your reading change in the spring? What are you in the mood for this spring? Join us as we chat about the change of seasons and what we'll be up to (reading-wise) in the following weeks. Authors Mentioned in this Episode: Nicolas Sparks, Janet Evanovich Books Mentioned in this Episode: Possession by AS Byatt The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by J Lahey The Last Child in the Woods by R Louv The Laws Guide to Nature Drawing and Journaling by JM Law The Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady by E Holden The Beginner's Goodbye by A Tyler Vinegar Girl by A Tyler Still Life by Louise Penny A Fatal Grace by Louise Penny

Jessica Lahey is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont, and serves as a prevention and recovery coach at Sana at Stowe, a medical detox and recovery center in Stowe, Vermont. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, is a book critic for Air Mail, and her biweekly column “The Parent Teacher Conference” ran for three years at the New York Times. She designed and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' award-winning animated series The Stinky and Dirty Show, and was a 2019 Pushcart Prize nominee for her Creative Nonfiction magazine essay, “I've Taught Monsters.” Jess holds the dubious honor of having written an article that was later adapted as a writing prompt for the 2018 SAT. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast with bestselling authors KJ Dell'Antonia and Sarina Bowen, and lives in Vermont with her husband, two sons, and a lot of dogs. On this episode, we are truly thrilled to welcome multi-talented genius Jessica Lahey to chat with us about parenting, how drugs and alcohol affect brain development, what getting sober many years into a marriage looks like. On this episode it's Louisa flying solo as host as Lily and Rose had last minute emergencies but this is a great chat nonetheless!

This episode is all about why allowing your children to fail is an important part of their development. I want to stress this not about taking risks or not keeping them safe.  It is about allowing them take personal responsibility for their lives. Being a parent is probably the hardest job you will ever have and it is natural to not want to see your children upset or hurt.However, continually stepping in and removing the challenges and protecting them from failure is depriving them of vital experience and the opportunity to develop skills and resilience for their adult life.Link to Jessica Lahey's book - "The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed" - https://amzn.to/3oRYUsQ

Jessica Lahey on Parenting, Desirable Difficulties, The Gift of Failure, Self-Efficacy, and The Addiction Inoculation | Brought to you by Wealthfront automated investing, Athletic Greens all-in-one nutritional supplement, and BlockFi crypto platform. More on all three below.Jessica Lahey (@jesslahey) is the author of the New York Times bestselling book The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Over twenty years, Jessica has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont. She currently serves as a recovery coach at Sana at Stowe, a medical detox and recovery center in Stowe, Vermont, where 100 percent of her salary goes to a scholarship fund for young adults.Jessica writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, New York Times, and The Atlantic, is a book critic for Air Mail, and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' award-winning The Stinky and Dirty Show. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast with bestselling authors K.J. Dell'Antonia and Sarina Bowen from her house in Vermont, where she lives with her husband, two sons, and a lot of dogs.Please enjoy!This episode is brought to you by Athletic Greens. I get asked all the time, “If you could only use one supplement, what would it be?” My answer is usually Athletic Greens, my all-in-one nutritional insurance. I recommended it in The 4-Hour Body in 2010 and did not get paid to do so. I do my best with nutrient-dense meals, of course, but AG further covers my bases with vitamins, minerals, and whole-food-sourced micronutrients that support gut health and the immune system. Right now, Athletic Greens is offering you their Vitamin D Liquid Formula free with your first subscription purchase—a vital nutrient for a strong immune system and strong bones. Visit AthleticGreens.com/Tim to claim this special offer today and receive the free Vitamin D Liquid Formula (and five free travel packs) with your first subscription purchase! That's up to a one-year supply of Vitamin D as added value when you try their delicious and comprehensive all-in-one daily greens product.*This episode is also brought to you by Wealthfront! Wealthfront pioneered the automated investing movement, sometimes referred to as ‘robo-advising,' and they currently oversee $20 billion of assets for their clients. It takes about three minutes to sign up, and then Wealthfront will build you a globally diversified portfolio of ETFs based on your risk appetite and manage it for you at an incredibly low cost. Smart investing should not feel like a rollercoaster ride. Let the professionals do the work for you. Go to Wealthfront.com/Tim and open a Wealthfront account today, and you'll get your first $5,000 managed for free, for life. Wealthfront will automate your investments for the long term. Get started today at Wealthfront.com/Tim.*This episode is also brought to you by BlockFi! BlockFi is building a bridge between cryptocurrencies and traditional financial and wealth-management products. I became excited enough about this company that I ended up becoming an investor.Their BlockFi Rewards Visa® Signature Credit Card provides an easy way to earn more Bitcoin because you can earn 3.5% in Bitcoin back on all purchases in your first 3 months and 1.5% forever after, with no annual fee. BlockFi also lets you easily buy or sell cryptocurrencies. For a limited time, you can earn a crypto bonus of $15–$250 in value when you open a new account. Get started today at BlockFi.com/Tim and use code TIM at sign up.For show notes and past guests, please visit tim.blog/podcast.Sign up for Tim's email newsletter (“5-Bullet Friday”) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim's books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss YouTube: youtube.com/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You guessed it! It's part 2 of my interview with Jessica Lahey. How does failure benefit kids? How does this affect anxiety? What can we do to keep kids from self-medicating with drugs or alcohol? We get into it all in the last of these two installments. Jessica Lahey is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont, and serves as a prevention and recovery coach at Sana at Stowe, a medical detox and recovery center in Stowe, Vermont. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, is a book critic for Air Mail, and her biweekly column “The Parent-Teacher Conference” ran for three years at the New York Times.   The Anxious Child is the podcast for therapists and parents who are looking for ways to best help their child with anxiety. It is hosted by licensed psychotherapist Stephen Quinlan, who has over 20 years of experience. Please subscribe to the show for more great episodes. We would LOVE to hear from you! Get in touch on Instagram @theanxiouschildpodcast or at the website www.theanxiouschildpodcast.com where you can send us an email with your questions or thoughts which might be featured on an upcoming show! We try to respond to everyone, so don't be shy. Love the show? Leave a review! Want to support the show? Want a live coaching call with me? Check out our Patreon page. Support the show! NEW! Join our private Facebook group for free and connect with other listeners of the show! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1209148056206324

I'm thrilled to announce that today we have Jessica Lahey to tell us all about the benefits of letting kids fail. How does this benefit them and us? How does this affect anxiety? We get into it all in the first of two installments. Jessica Lahey is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont, and serves as a prevention and recovery coach at Sana at Stowe, a medical detox and recovery center in Stowe, Vermont. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, is a book critic for Air Mail, and her biweekly column “The Parent-Teacher Conference” ran for three years at the New York Times.   The Anxious Child is the podcast for therapists and parents who are looking for ways to best help their child with anxiety. It is hosted by licensed psychotherapist Stephen Quinlan, who has over 20 years of experience. Please subscribe to the show for more great episodes. We would LOVE to hear from you! Get in touch on Instagram @theanxiouschildpodcast or at the website www.theanxiouschildpodcast.com where you can send us an email with your questions or thoughts which might be featured on an upcoming show! We try to respond to everyone, so don't be shy. Love the show? Leave a review! Want to support the show? Want a live coaching call with me? Check out our Patreon page. Support the show! NEW! Join our private Facebook group for free and connect with other listeners of the show! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1209148056206324

In this supportive, life-saving resource, the New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Failure helps parents and educators understand the roots of substance abuse and identify who is most at risk for addiction, and offers practical steps for prevention.Jessica Lahey was born into a family with a long history of alcoholism and drug abuse. Despite her desire to thwart her genetic legacy, she became an alcoholic and didn't find her way out until her early forties. Jessica has worked as a teacher in substance abuse programs for teens, and was determined to inoculate her two adolescent sons against their most dangerous inheritance. All children, regardless of their genetics, are at some risk for substance abuse. According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, teen drug addiction is the nation's largest preventable and costly health problem. Despite the existence of proven preventive strategies, nine out of ten adults with substance use disorder report they began drinking and taking drugs before age eighteen. The Two Jess(es) welcome this incredible third Jess, once again, for another rattling WeSTAT conversation on the topic of alcohol, your kids, substance abuse disorder, and how our relationship to ALL of it, desperately needs to be examined- for the sake of our children's brain development.Meet Jessica!Jessica Lahey writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, the New York Times, and The Atlantic and is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She is a member of the Amazon Studios Thought Leader Board and wrote the curriculum for Amazon Kids' The Stinky and Dirty Show. She lives in Vermont with her husband and two sons.To learn more, go to: https://www.jessicalahey.com/Support the show (http://www.paypal.com)

In response to a parent request, Deacon Brad Watkins, Dr. Jake Noland, and Charles McCants discuss leadership formation for children. Upon reflection, it seems that leadership really comes down to some very fundamental ideas: Authority, trust, and responsibility. Looking to Jesus Christ, the King of Kings, as the ultimate leader, we understand that his authority was not his own, it was given to him by his Father in Heaven, who loves and trusts him with the responsibility of the salvation of the world - and leading souls to it perpetually. From this we can understand that parents, and by extension teachers, are given authority and responsibility over and for their children. In love, we then grant age appropriate authority and responsibility to our children over tasks that start small and grow over time. Chores, academic work, even free play time can be ways in which we form the attributes necessary in children to be good leaders as adults. We hope this conversation is as thought provoking for listeners as it was for us in thinking through what it means to form faithful and virtuous leaders.  The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed 

Jessica Lahey is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont. She currently serves as a recovery coach at Sana at Stowe, a medical detox and recovery center in Stowe, Vermont, where 100% of her salary goes to a scholarship fund for young adults. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, New York Times, and The Atlantic, is a book critic for Air Mail, and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' award-winning The Stinky and Dirty Show. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast with bestselling authors K.J. Dell'Antonia and Sarina Bowen from her house in Vermont, where she lives with her husband, two sons and a lot of dogs.Support the show (https://pod.fan/the-dude-therapist)

My guest today is Jessica Lahey. Jessica is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont. She currently serves as a recovery coach at Sana at Stowe, a medical detox and recovery center in Stowe, Vermont, where 100% of her salary goes to a scholarship fund for young adults. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, New York Times, and The Atlantic, is a book critic for Air Mail, and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' award-winning The Stinky and Dirty Show. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast with bestselling authors K.J. Dell'Antonia and Sarina Bowen from her house in Vermont, where she lives with her husband, two sons and a lot of dogs.In this episode we explore:- Jessica's new book, The Addiction Inoculation- The complexity of whether adolescents develop substance use issues- Jessica's personal experiences later in life with addiction - The role that AA has played in her recovery - The missing gaps in our education system for preventing substance use disorders- What it means to live in a culture of dependence—————————————————————————Jessica's website: https://www.jessicalahey.com/Her books: https://www.jessicalahey.com/books#AmWriting Podcast: https://amwriting.substack.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jplaheyTwitter: https://twitter.com/jesslahey—————————————————————————If you find value in the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests. I also love reading them! Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/Explore the website: https://mentallyflexible.com/Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Is it possible to help our kids succeed by allowing them to fail? During this episode of the Vision Driven Mom podcast, Jessica Lahey shares gold nuggets from her book The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and the important lessons we can learn alongside our kids when we, as parents, get out of the way.Guest Resources: Jessica Lahey is a teacher, writer, and mom. Over twenty years, she's taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post the New York Times and various other outlets, and is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed.She is a member of the Amazon Studios Thought Leader Board and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' The Stinky and Dirty Show. Jessica earned a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law.She lives in Vermont with her husband and two sons. Her second book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence was released in April 2021.Website: http://www.jessicalahey.comTwitter: https://twitter.com/jesslaheyInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teacherlaheyFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessicapottslaheyPodcast: https://amwriting.substack.com/…………..Vision Driven Mom ResourcesShare: #visiondrivenmompodcastWebsite: http://www.visiondrivenmom.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/visiondrivenmomsInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/visiondrivenmom/Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/visiondrivenmom/Email: visiondrivenmompodcast@gmail.comRaise Your Vibe Toolkit: A Mom's Guide to Taking Yoga Off The Mat And Into Life http://www.highvibetoolkit.com

COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING! Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups: Live and Love with Joyful CourageJoyful Courage for Parents of Teens :::: My guest today is Jessica Lahey. Jessica is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence.  Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, New York Times, and The Atlantic, is a book critic for Air Mail, and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' award-winning The Stinky and Dirty Show. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast with bestselling authors K.J. Dell'Antonia and Sarina Bowen from her house in Vermont, where she lives with her husband, two sons and a lot of dogs. Takeaways from the show: Secrecy and shame around substance abuse Jessica's story The process of recovery The normalization of adult drinking Pluralistic ignorance Authoritative parenting Knowledge about raising kids and substances Teaching kids why they shouldn't be using substances Knowing risk factors of substance abuse can help you protect your kids Understanding the teen brain Scripts to give your kids to get out of situations Relationship matters Where to find Jessica: Hot Wings article | Website | Instagram | FaceBook What does Joyful Courage mean to you? This whole book I wrote has been a massive exercise of joyful courage to me. This was the book that all of that crap that I've been through has led to and I'm so proud and happy. It has also been terrifying to put my story out there into the world knowing that substance use disorder is really encamped so there's people with really strong feelings around how things are expressed. The whole thing has been sheer happiness that this thing is out there but also I've been using a lot of courage because it's really scary to put your story out into the world but it is also incredibly empowering. See you next week!! :) :::: MAMA'S RETREAT I see you mamas working hard to support your kids. I can feel you walking the edge of sticking to boundaries and letting things go.  It is exhausting. So…. How about you take a little time to yourself? How about you block out 3 hours to explore your needs and nurture your desires? Give yourself the reset you need to move into the summer months feeling really good. You deserve to be seen mama. Let yourself be seen. Join me and a circle of other amazing women June 27 from 12-3pm PST as we move, ground, and reflect our way to our inner voice, our soul's song. Head over to joyfulcourage.com/retreat to get yourself enrolled!!! :::: The Book, The Coaching Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in your parenting journey. READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching ::::: Be a Subscriber Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!! CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

Ryan talks to Jessica Lahey about her new book The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence, protecting your kids against addiction and finding the right information to guide them to success, teaching your kids about self-efficacy, and more.Jessica Lahey is the New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She has written for The New York Times and The Atlantic and has taught middle and high school for over a decade. Magic Spoon is an adult version of the cereal you loved as a kid—without the sugar, carbs, or guilt. Go to magicspoon.com/DAILYDAD to grab a variety pack and try it today. Use our promo code DAILYDAD at checkout to save five dollars off your order.Try learning a new skill with Skillshare and its amazing community of members. An annual subscription is less than $10 a month. Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/DAILYDAD and get a free trial of Premium Membership. That’s Skillshare.com/DAILYDAD.ShipStation makes it super easy to manage and ship all your orders from all your sales channels faster, cheaper and more efficiently. Ship more in less time. Just use the offer code, DAILYDAD, to get a 60 - day free trial. Go to ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top of the page, and type in DAILYDAD. Make SHIP happen.Gravity Blankets make the only blanket proven to improve sleep quality, with 78% of people reporting a better night’s sleep when using gravity. Just go to Gravityblankets.com and check out the weighted blankets, weighted sleep masks and weighted robes. Use promo code DAILYDAD to get 15% off your purchase.***If you enjoyed this week’s podcast, we’d love for you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps with our visibility, and the more people listen to the podcast, the more we can invest into it and make it even better.Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.comFollow Daily Dad:Twitter: https://twitter.com/dailydademailInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dailydad/Facebook: http://facebook.com/dailydademailYouTube: https://geni.us/DailyDadFollow Jessica Lahey: Twitter: https://twitter.com/jesslaheyInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teacherlahey/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessicapottslahey/

Jessica Lahey is a mother, teacher, and author of The New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Jessica, who been sober for eight years, says her new book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence, came out concern for her own children following that same path. The book delves into genetics, psychology, and the science of addiction and offers practical things parents can do to keep their kids from suffering from addiction. Read Jessica's blog here. Support the show (https://www.emilyshope.foundation/donate-2)

Ryan reads today’s meditation and talks to Jessica Lahey about her new book The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence, how a Stoic should measure their success, the discovery of our genetic predisposition to addiction, and more.Jessica Lahey is the New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She has written for The New York Times and The Atlantic and has taught middle and high school for over a decade. This episode is brought to you by GoMacro. Go Macro is a family-owned maker of some of the finest protein bars around. They're vegan, non-GMO, and they come in a bunch of delicious flavors. Visit gomacro.com and use promo code STOIC for 30% off your order plus free shipping on all orders over $50.This episode is also brought to you by KiwiCo. KiwiCo believes in the power of kids and that small lessons today can mean big, world-changing ideas tomorrow. KiwiCo is a subscription service that delivers everything your kids will need to make, create and play. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code STOIC at kiwico.com. This episode is also brought to you by Talkspace, the online and mobile therapy company. Talkspace lets you send and receive unlimited messages with your dedicated therapist in the Talkspace platform 24/7. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code STOIC to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show.This episode is also brought to you by Ladder, a painless way to get the life insurance coverage you need for those you care about most. Ladder makes the process of getting life insurance quick and easy. To apply, you only need a phone or laptop and a few minutes of time. Ladder’s algorithms work quickly and you’ll find out almost immediately if you’re approved. Go to ladderlife.com/stoic to see if you’re instantly approved today.***If you enjoyed this week’s podcast, we’d love for you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps with our visibility, and the more people listen to the podcast, the more we can invest into it and make it even better.Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: http://DailyStoic.com/signupFollow @DailyStoic:Twitter: https://twitter.com/dailystoicInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dailystoic/Facebook: http://facebook.com/dailystoicYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/dailystoicTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@daily_stoic Follow Jessica Lahey: Twitter: https://twitter.com/jesslaheyInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teacherlahey/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessicapottslahey/

Lauren and I start this adventure with an off-the-cuff discussion about how we got here. We chat about why we came together in 2020, the influence of our book club and why we are launching Beyond Small Talk. The following book and authors are referenced: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff . . . and It's All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life, Richard Carlson Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action, Simon Sinek Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy, Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed, Jessica Lahey Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Angela Duckworth --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beyondsmalltalk/message

For those listeners who have children, you know they are your biggest source of joy as well as your biggest source of worry and it has never been more true than during this pandemic since we have been closer to our children than we ever expected to be. How do we know if we are handling situations right? In today's episode, Dr. Josh King welcomes Jessica Lahey, a teacher, writer, and speaker, to talk about what is the best practice to helping your children grow into independent adults during the pandemic and beyond.   Key Takeaways: [2:15] Jessica shares how her family has been doing during the pandemic. [4:50] Are children getting what they need during the pandemic? [6:58] Learn to parent in a more effective way. [10:20] The pandemic brought teachers into every child's home. [11:30] Jessica talks about her book The Gift of Failure. [15:07] Allowing your kids to struggle is tough work for parents. [18:12] Helping your children to develop positive adaptive responses to failure. [20:04] How does it look to let your kids struggle? Explain the why, show how to, and let them do it their way. [25:20] Shifting parents from a punish paradigm to a reinforcement style, how can parents use praise to help change behaviors? [27:43] Focus more on the process and less on the product. [28:56] Jessica talks about the research on extrinsic motivation. [30:04] We should aim for intrinsic motivation, but how to achieve it? [31:30] Online learning is a learned skill. [35:10] Jessica shares her opinion about parents and control. [38:30] Parents need to find a new way of engaging. [41:00] Jessica talks about parenting children struggling with substance abuse. [46:30] Parents need to learn to sit with their own anxiety. [48:46] Jessica explains why shutting down your child's friendships never turns out the way that is expected. [50:11] How to find natural consequences? [53:38] Jessica talks about her new book that is about to be launched.   Mentioned in this Episode: The Beyond Addiction Show Center for Motivation and Change Center for Motivation and Change on Facebook Center for Motivation and Change on Twitter Center for Motivation and Change on Linkedin   Email Dr. Josh King at beyondaddiction@motivationandchange.com or tweet him at @DocJoshKing   The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed, by Jessica Lahey Jessica Lahey Jessica Lahey on Twitter Jessica Lahey on Instagram Jessica Lahey YouTube Channel   Tweetables and Quotes: “Extrinsic rewards affect children's motivation and learning.” @_TheCMC @DocJoshKing   “If you smooth the path for your children it limits their way to become autonomous.” @_TheCMC @DocJoshKing   “Giving children extrinsic motivators over the long term does not boost motivation; on the contrary they undermine it.” @_TheCMC @DocJoshKing   “Online learning is a skill that needs to be learned.” @_TheCMC @DocJoshKing   “Align yourself with your children, get to know about their feelings.” @_TheCMC @DocJoshKing

Jessica Lahey is a teacher, writer, and mom. Over twenty years, she's taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Atlantic, Vermont Public Radio, The Washington Post and the New York Times and is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She is a member of the Amazon Studios Thought Leader Board and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' The Stinky and Dirty Show. Jessica earned a B.A. in Comparative Literature from the University of Massachusetts and a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law. She lives in Vermont with her husband and two sons. Her second book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence, will be released in April 2021. Key Takeaways: 00:25 Her favorite age group of learners to teach and why 07:24 How learning opportunities get lost when parents rescue their children 00:09 The effect of helicopter parenting on motivation and learning 11:01 The red flags about our parenting and teaching that we might need to take a look at 12:50 The difference between directive and autonomy-supportive teaching 17:52 Getting support in non-directive and free-range parenting styles 31:35 What parents should look for in a school 36:00 Her take on self-directed education 42:12 Screentimes and how students are learning differently during COVID 53:26 Building intrinsic motivation Quotes: “Kids who have had what's called autonomy-supportive parenting, teaching, coaching tend to have a little more comfort with frustration, tend to be the kind of kids who can take a breath, figure it out and push through without having to sort of go to someone else for the answer.” “What is great for learning is frequent formative assessments. It helps the kid exercise a little bit of metacognition, because they're on a constant basis having to reevaluate what they thought they knew and what they didn't know.” “The reason that so many colleges and universities are switching, moving away from lecture-based teaching and towards small group teaching is that we know it works better.” “There's all sorts of emotional engagement that has to happen. It's not just about interpersonal relationships, but engagement and relevance and all that stuff. That's where the secret sauce of teaching is.” “Being more controlling of kids has the opposite effect. It undermines their motivation to want to do the things that we're trying to get them to do. Giving control to kids will help them feel less out of control.” Social Links: Download Jessica's Bibliography: Click Here Jessica Lahey Website - https://www.jessicalahey.com/ LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-lahey-b815a366/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/jesslahey Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/teacherlahey

Jessica Lahey is a New York Times bestselling author, podcast host, keynote speaker, wife, and mother. But at her core, she is an educator. She has worked with a wide variety of students at all levels from sixth through twelfth grade. In this interview, she gives tips and strategies from her teaching career and her 2015 book “The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed” for students, teachers, and parents to apply during that all-important 9th grade year. Where to find Jessica online: Website: https://www.jessicalahey.com/ Twitter: @jesslahey Instagram: @teacherlahey Get any of the books mentioned during today's show at Let's Play Books in Emmaus, Pa. https://www.letsplaybooks.com/

Jessica Lahey is an educator, writer and speaker. She writes "The Parent-Teacher Conference" advice column for The New York Times, is a contributing writer to The Atlantic is a commentator for Vermont Public Radio and wrote the book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Jessica currently teaches high school English and writing, and lives in New Hampshire with her husband and two sons.

Episode 26 - We could not be more excited than to welcome New York Times Best Selling Author Jessica Lahey on the podcast. Jessica has articles written in The Atlantic and the New York Times, and we have her on the podcast to discuss her New York Times best selling book The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. We had the joy of seeing her at AMLE in Nashville this past November and knew we had to ask her to come on the podcast. We hope you enjoy this great discussion on our love for middle schoolers, the importance of giving children of any age autonomy and intrinsic motivation to succeed. Jessica Lahey http://www.jessicalahey.com Buy The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Failure-Parents-Children-Succeed-ebook/dp/B00GLS00LY/?tag=jessicalcom-20 Gift of Failure Frequently Asked Questions https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJvu5en3L6M&list=PLWc_BZJdVWKLk7yIgkofPUNfhUi4bVEKj&disable_polymer=true 
Jessica's Bibliography https://static1.squarespace.com/static/51d5b70de4b07e30233ade36/t/5bc4ace8c83025dddf3f2adc/1539615976178/Bibliography.pdf Balanced and barefoot by Angela J. Hanscom https://www.amazon.com/Balanced-Barefoot-Unrestricted-Confident-Children/dp/1626253730 “Drive” Daniel H. Pink https://www.amazon.com/Drive-Surprising-Truth-About-Motivates/dp/1594484805 Middle School Matters by Phyllis L. Fagell https://www.amazon.com/Middle-School-Matters-Beyond-Parents/dp/0738235083 The Happiness Project with Gretchen Rubin https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/happier-with-gretchen-rubin/id969519520 Happier in Hollywood with Liz Craft and Sarah Fain https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/happier-in-hollywood/id1236845161 --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/from-the-middle-podcast/support

Episode 25 - Chelsea leads us on a little topic jumping. We discuss Christmas presents, books, movies, tv shows, AND even more importantly our thoughts on the latest season of The Crown and the Prince Harry and Meghan Markle drama. Trunk Club https://www.trunkclub.com Go See the Principal by Gerry Brooks https://www.amazon.com/dp/0738285064/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_o0LhEb96TP52 Gerry Brooks's Lunch Room Etiquette https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W6bCJR-jbI The Book of Waking Up by Seth Haines https://www.amazon.com/Book-Waking-Up-Experiencing-Reorders/dp/0310353963/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+book+of+waking+up&qid=1579048312&sr=8-1 The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica Lahey https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Failure-Parents-Children-Succeed/dp/0062299255/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+gift+of+failure&qid=1579048348&sr=8-1 How to Lead in a World of Distraction by Clay Scroggins https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310598699/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_k3LhEb65Y4Q7M Inside Bill's Brain: Decoding Bill Gates (it is currently on Netflix) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10837476/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 Little Women https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3281548/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0 Ozark https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5071412/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 Broadchurch https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2249364/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/from-the-middle-podcast/support

Jessica Lahey is an educator, author, and speaker. She writes "The Parent-Teacher Conference" column for the New York Times, is a contributing writer for The Atlantic, and a commentator for Vermont Public Radio. Her new book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed is a New York Times bestseller. Please visit her website for more information http://www.jessicalahey.com/

Do you rush your son's lunch to school when he forgets it? Have you called your daughter's teacher to urge her teacher to raise a B to an A? This is a message that many parents have been secretly waiting to hear-- we need to stop protecting our kids from failure so they can can develop the competence and confidence that comes from solving their own problems. We talk to New York Times bestselling author Jessica Lahey about her new book, The Gift of Failure, How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed.   The Parents Phrase Book author Whit Honea joins to plead with teachers and schools to consider the value of homework.