Podcast appearances and mentions of melissa llarena

What does sofrito—a base of herbs and spices used in Puerto Rican cooking—have to do with reimagining business, food security, and conveying a history lesson about a rich and sometimes complex culture? For today's guest, it's everything. If you've ever wondered how to weave your culture, creativity, and calling into one powerful movement... then this episode is the recipe you've been looking for. In this episode, you will hear:   Food has a cultural foundation passed through generations. Cultural identity can be preserved and taught through everyday meals. How to make the best sofrito if you don't have time to cook. Food is more than just food – it's heritage, intention, and a story. The story of the Puerto Rican pasteles is shared. Food choices are power moves, shaping local or global economies. Imagination makes it possible to wear multiple hats and still stay rooted in purpose. You don't need permission to do things differently, just the will and a plan. This episode is brought to you by Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact by Melissa Llarena Audible   Audio Edition: https://www.amazon.com/Fertile-Imagination-Stretching-Superpower-Maximum/dp/B0CY9BZH9W/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0   Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Fertile-Imagination-Stretching-Superpower-Maximum/dp/B0CK2ZSMLB   Hardcover: https://www.amazon.com/Fertile-Imagination-Stretching-Superpower-Maximum/dp/B0D5B64347/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0   Or, download a free chapter at fertileideas.com       About Crystal Diaz   Crystal Díaz has spent nearly two decades at the intersection of food, marketing, and cultural advocacy. She co-founded PRoduce, Puerto Rico's digital marketplace for locally grown food. Crystal is also the force behind El Pretexto, the island's first culinary farm lodge, where food and imagination meet 2,600 feet above sea level. A committed advocate for food security, she collaborates with Espacios Abiertos to advance agricultural policy. Crystal holds two master's degrees, including one in Food Studies from NYU. She's been recognized by Fast Company and El Nuevo Día for her creative leadership and impact in the local food movement. Quotes that can change your perspective:  “If you really want to learn about something and you're obsessed about it, there's always ways to learn, to make it happen.” – Crystal Díaz   “With every single meal that we do, with every single snack, everything that we eat, you are impacting economies. And if you want to support your local communities and you want to see them, everybody having a better life, you might want to spend that dollar closer home and making sure that all of the ingredients that are on that food are closer to home so that money stays closer to home.” – Crystal Díaz   “Sofrito is very personal. You know? It's part of how your family has done it… but also learn that there is a lot of history into it. It's not something that we do because we do it. There is a lot of history to it.” – Crystal Díaz   “We are on a little island. We don't have that much territorial extension, so we can't think about our agriculture as other countries that have large extensions of terrains and flats and stuff like that. We need to think about it differently.” – Crystal Díaz   “Puerto Rican food is full of history, is complex enough, is flavorful enough, and varied… so I can pull something like this [a culinary farm lodge] up in Puerto Rico.” – Crystal Díaz SHARE this episode with fellow food lovers, cultural storytellers, and moms on a mission to raise rooted kids. Crystal's insights on local food, identity, and imagination will inspire anyone looking to nourish their family and community from the inside out. Let's keep our culture alive—one pastel, one sofrito, and one big idea at a time. Supporting Resources:   Website: https://www.elpretextopr.com  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elpretextopr  Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/@elpretextopr/ Subscribe and Review   Have you subscribed to my podcast for new moms who are entrepreneurs, founders, and creators?  I'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.    I'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast for writer moms. About Fertile Imagination   You can be a great mom without giving up, shrinking, or hiding your dreams. There's flexibility in how you pursue anything – your role, your lifestyle, and your personal and professional goals. The limitations on your dreams are waiting to be shattered. It's time to see and seize what's beyond your gaze. Let's bridge your childhood daydreams with your grown-up realities. Imagine skipping with your kids along any path – you, surpassing your milestones while your kids are reaching theirs. There's only one superpower versatile enough to stretch your thinking beyond what's been done before: a Fertile Imagination. It's like kryptonite for impostor syndrome and feeling stuck when it's alert!    In Fertile Imagination, you will awaken your sleeping source of creative solutions. If you can wake up a toddler or a groggy middle schooler, then together with the stories in this book – featuring 25 guests from my podcast Unimaginable Wellness, proven tools, and personal anecdotes – we will wake up your former playmate: your imagination!  Advance Praise    “You'll find reality-based strategies for imagining your own imperfect, fulfilling life in this book!” —MARTHA HENNESSEY, former NH State Senator    “Melissa invites the reader into a personal and deep journey about topics that are crucially important to uncover what would make a mom (and dad too) truly happy to work on…even after the kids are in bed.” —KEN HONDA, best-selling author of Happy Money    “This book is a great purchase for moms in every stage of life. Melissa is like a great friend, honest and wise and funny, telling you about her life and asking you to reflect on yours.” —MAUREEN TURNER CAREY, librarian in Austin, TX   TRANSCRIPT   00:00:00 Crystal: Come up with ideas to make it easier for food producers to produce more food because we are in a little island. We don't have that much territorial extension. So we can't think about our agriculture as other countries that have large extensions of terrains and flats and stuff like that. We need to think it differently.  00:00:25 Melissa: Welcome to the Mom Founder Imagination Hub, your weekly podcast to inspire you to dream bigger. Plan out how you're gonna get to that next level in business, find the energy to keep going, and make sure your creative juices are flowing so that this way you get what you really want rather than having to settle. Get ready to discover founders have reimagined entrepreneurship and motherhood.  00:00:47 Melissa: Ever wonder how they do it? Tune in to find out, and stretch yourself by also learning from diverse entrepreneurs who might not be moms, but who have lessons you can tailor about how you can disrupt industries and step way outside of your comfort zone. I believe every mom's superpower is her imagination. In this podcast, I'm gonna give you the mindset, methods, and tools to unleash yours. Sounds good? Then keep listening.  00:01:17 Melissa: So what does sofrito, which is essentially a base of herbs and spices used in Puerto Rican cooking, have to do with reimagining business, food security, and passing along really critical history lessons. Well, for today's guest, it is everything. And if you've ever wondered how to weave your culture, creativity, and calling into one powerful movement, then this episode is the recipe you've been looking for.  00:01:49 Melissa: Welcome to the Mom Founder Imagination Hub. This is your weekly podcast designed to inspire you to dream bigger in your business and your life. Also, to help you find the energy to keep going because how are you going to sustain what's necessary to be big and to keep your imagination flowing so that this way you could feel inspired, lit up like a Christmas tree or Hanukkah candles. I'm your host Melissa Llarena. 00:02:17 Melissa: I'm a mom of three high energy boys. No. They did not get their energy from me. Psyched. They did. I'm also a best selling author of Fertile Imagination and an imagination coach for mom founders who are reimagining what success and motherhood can look like on their own terms, and that's really important.  00:02:34 Melissa: Now, if you've ever stirred a pot of sofrito, you already know this. Right? You know that the blend of flavors tells a deeper story. It tells a story that sometimes has made its way across generations. It preserves a culture, and it does nourish more than just our baby's bellies.  00:02:56 Melissa: So today's guest, I am thrilled to invite Crystal Diaz. Now she's taken the same approach in terms of her business ventures. She's a foodpreneur, culture keeper, I love that, and community builder. She wears four hats and in today's episode we're gonna go through each of those hats. One of which is as the owner of El Pretexto, i.e. The Excuse, a culinary farm lodge in the countryside of Puerto Rico where she serves 100% locally sourced meals and lives her mission every day.  00:03:33 Melissa: She has lots of degrees and an MA in food studies from NYU, which is why if you're watching the video, you could see, I hope, my NYU t-shirt. Hit subscribe if you see it and you love it. Subscribe on YouTube. Hit follow on this podcast. 00:03:53 Melissa: A little bit more about Crystal. She was recognized by Fast Company as one of the most creative people in business in 2022 and was named one of El Nuevo Diaz women of the year in 2023. She's the real deal. In this episode, we're gonna explore how Crystal uses her imagination as her main ingredient, whether it's in terms of the way that she's carving away for Puerto Rico to have its own food centric cultural immersive experience or even by how she decided to commute to NYU from San Juan every single week, which was creative in and of itself, or even in terms of the way that she describes the depth of a very famous Puerto Rican dish.  00:04:43 Melissa: Oh, and side note, I actually have her real life best on the planet, sofrito recipe. My gosh, do not run away, For sure. Check out the sofrito recipe we articulated in this conversation. You're gonna walk away with yummy ideas for how to use your own imagination to nourish your business, your family, and community, and it's gonna be so important even if you're not working in food.  00:05:13 Melissa: So before we dig in, I would appreciate if you hit follow, if you're listening to this on iTunes. Why hit follow? Because every time someone hits follow on iTunes, it tells me that I need to bring more guests with stories like this to the podcast. And I get really excited and when a mom is excited, it is a very good day in her entire home. So go ahead, hit follow. You will absolutely get that dopamine hit that everybody needs or if you're watching this on YouTube, then hit subscribe. I would be so appreciative and again, I will do the dance of joy. Okay. So enjoy the conversation.  00:05:54 Melissa: Crystal Diaz, thank you so much for this conversation on the Mom Founder Imagination hub. We are delighted to have you here. Crystal, just to kind of set off the scenery, why don't you explain to us where you are in Puerto Rico? What's outside your windows? 00:06:10 Crystal: All right. Well, let's… our imagination hub in a car. We are in San Juan, and you drove forty five minutes south, up to the mountains. Now we are in Cayey. I am at El Pretexto, which is also my home, and we are overlooking… we're up in the mountains, 2,600 feet over sea level, overlooking the Caribbean Sea at the south, and all the mountains slowly winding down all the way to the coast. 00:06:43 Crystal: And you will have some crazy chickens surrounding you. In my patio while you are probably sipping a wine or a coffee, depending on the time of the day. Enjoying the view and, surrounded by trees, lush greenery all over the place. And there are gardens on your side, also as well. So you are surrounded definitely by nature and you feel at peace. That's where we are.  00:07:15 Melissa: Oh, okay. Cool. So let's bring that sense of peace to this conversation. I am excited because I'm sure any listener right now who is a mom, has a business, might feel a little frazzled now and again. But right now, for the next thirty minutes, this is a peaceful zone. We are in Puerto Rico right now. 00:07:37 Melissa: Okay. So, Crystal, now I'm gonna ask you an obvious question, as you just described what you are surrounded by in Puerto Rico. But you attended NYU, and I'm just kind of super curious. You could have stayed in New York, let's say. Right? You could have been like this chef at a restaurant in New York City, Michelin star, etcetera, etcetera. But you decided to return home. And so I'm just curious, like, what informed that decision?  00:08:13 Crystal: Well, you will be surprised with my answer because I never left home. I commuted every single week to New York. Coming on to the city, take my classes, back to my home. So for two years, I was traveling every week to New York for one day.  00:08:34 Melissa: Oh my gosh. Yeah. That is so surprising. Okay. So now I'm just curious here. Okay. So you were on a plane. So, usually people complain about their commute. Right? 00:08:48 Crystal: Uh-huh.  00:08:49 Melissa: They have this whole return to work aggravation. Here you are getting on a plane every single week to take courses at NYU. So then let me ask you this other question. So I know that it's a little off track, but now I'm just way curious. Why did it have to be NYU? That's quite the pull.  00:09:13 Crystal: Yeah. Well, my background is in marketing, and I have a BA in Marketing with a Minor in Advertising and Public Relations. Then I worked with a newspaper for fourteen years. So my background is all about business and marketing. Then I did a first master degree here in Puerto Rico, in the University of Puerto Rico, about cultural action and management. And then, I wanted – because at this point, I believe that I am not passionate anymore. I am kind of obsessed with food, and I guess we will get into that later. 00:09:58 Crystal: But, I wanted to learn the policy part of it. And in Puerto Rico, we don't have any program in any of the universities nor public or private, specifically about food, and way less food policies and advocacy and that type of perspective on the food system, which is what I wanted to learn. So that's why I ended up in New York. I decided to do this because it's a direct flight. So it's gonna be a three hours and a half flight going in, then the one hour in the A train until Westport. 00:10:49 Crystal: Even though I know it's intense, it was pretty straightforward. You don't have make a stop then take another plane. And I was studying and reading all my plane hours, so there's no excuse to not complete your assignments, I guess.  00:11:07 Melissa: Yeah. I love that. Okay. So, hey, that is 100% using your imagination because I think a lot of us, myself included, I wouldn't have considered that to be an option in my mind. I still don't. Right? It's gotta be a certain set of circumstances that make that a possibility. But, I love that now that's an idea that we just planted in someone's head. Right? If they really are obsessed. Right?  00:11:35 Crystal: And if you really want to learn about something and you're obsessed about it, there's always ways to learn, to make it happen. And to my point, New York is so expensive that I spend way less money in flight tickets than actually living there.  00:11:56 Melissa: Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Okay. So this is really interesting. Okay. So you could have stayed in New York, but you didn't even choose to stay in New York when you were taking classes at NYU. So now you have the whole, like… that's just so that's fascinating, Crystal. You really gobsmacked me right now with that piece of information.  00:12:18 Melissa: So along the same lines of using your imagination and thinking totally out of the box, let me ask you this one question. So, El Pretexto, of course, we'll go into what it is and all of that. But I also wanna understand because on your website, you say that you've traveled the world. Right? So you've seen all these different culinary experiences. And using your imagination and imagining where or how would you imagine Puerto Rico's cuisine fitting into the landscape of world gastro– I can't say the rest of that word, but I know it's a real word.  00:12:57 Crystal: Yes. Well, for me, I love to travel. I am a girl of no luxuries. Right? I don't care about purses or new shoes or jewelry. It's like I don't judge, but I don't care. So where I spend my money and my time, which I can't… money, you can recover it somehow, but time is just one time. You just have every minute that you have.  00:13:27 Crystal: And I like to spend those traveling and getting to know other cultures and exposing myself to other cultures. And I think that those travels have pushed me to understand and appreciate what we have back here at home and also understand the opportunities that we have back here at home. Not everybody is doing it perfectly, but you can definitely learn how it is done in other places. And I'm talking generally. Right? Depending on what you are interested.  00:14:01 Crystal: But you always learn of how the world do things in other places. So, I in my case, I love food and I try to expose myself, not only to eating in good restaurants or good food, but I love to go to markets. I even go to supermarkets every time I travel. I like to visit farms and I noticed, especially in Mexico, you can see this – Peru is developing this a lot and Italy has it all set. 00:14:40 Melissa: On lockdown.  00:14:41 Crystal: But you have these culinary experiences where you get to… expose to their cuisine, with a local chef and and you go to their farmers' markets and you get the whole country but with a special focus in food. And I was like, “You know what? Puerto Rican food is full of history, is complex enough, is flavorful enough, and varied so I can pull something like this up in Puerto Rico.” So that's how one of our offerings about the curated food experiences came to be because I was sure that somebody will have the curiosity to get to know Puerto Rico from its food.  00:15:33 Crystal: So that's how I got into there. And I think that because I am obsessed with the fact that Puerto Rico imports 90% of everything that we eat, I am then focused on cherish and enhance and share that 10% what it can be if we actually put a lot of effort into grow that 10% into 20%, let's say.  00:16:08 Melissa: That's interesting. So okay. So, I mean, I'm not cynical, but, in my opinion, I kind of believe that the person that controls food source kinda controls a lot. And that's not fantastic. And so I'm just wondering from a policy perspective and as you think about this share of stomach or however it's really considered, are you also part of that conversation too? Like, are you actively advocating for that too?  00:16:45 Crystal: Yes. Yes. I always say I have a couple of hats for all those also thinking that you only have to do one thing and one thing only. If you want to do one thing and one thing only, that's okay. But in my case, I am focused on food, but I try to deal with it from different perspectives. So I have four hats.  00:17:09 Crystal: And one of my hats, specifically works with food policy advocacy. And we try to understand the local food policies that are in place, understanding what programs work, what programs doesn't work, and then trying to make it as… to come up with ideas to make it easier for food producers to produce more food. 00:17:41 Crystal: Because we are in a little island. We don't have that much territorial extension, so we can't think about our agriculture as other countries that have large extensions of terrains and flats and stuff like that. We need to think it differently. And I am not against importation. We all have globalized diets, and we love olive oil, and we can't produce that in Puerto Rico. And we love wine, and we can't produce that in Puerto Rico.  00:18:16 Crystal: So it's not like, all the way 100%. That's not what I mean. But definitely, we should aim to have, let's say, half of our stomach-share full of food that is produced locally. Not only because of its nutritional value, but also because it means economic growth and development for our island and our local communities. So every dollar that you spend on food… somebody might be hearing us while they are eating something.  00:18:55 Crystal: So you imagine whatever you're eating right now, let's say it cost you $1. It depends on where the ingredients came from, that dollar went to that place. It depends on where it was processed, part of that dollar went to that place. And then if you bought it in the supermarket or if you bought it in Amazon, to who you gave that share of that dollar.  00:22 Crystal: So with every single meal that we do, with every single snack, everything that we eat, you are impacting economies. And if you want to support your local communities and you want to see them, everybody having a better life, you might want to spend that dollar closer home and making sure that all of the ingredients that are on that food are closer to home so that money stays closer to home. And that's how I see it. 00:19:58 Crystal: How do we make that that share of that dollar that we as consumers have the power to choose where it goes. And, by the way, there are some parts that we have the power and some part we don't have the power. I understand that. But how do we make an effort in whatever way we can to stay as close as possible to our home.  00:20:24 Melissa: So I think you said that… was that one out of your four hats? 00:20:28 Crystal: Yes.  00:20:29 Melissa: What are the other three?  00:20:30 Crystal: Well, El Pretexto, which is a bed and breakfast, is our Puerto Rico's first and only culinary farm lodge. This is my home, but I also welcome guests here. So El Pretexto is my second one. I'm the co-founder of PRoduct, which is a digital marketplace that connects local food producers with consumers directly. We're trying to shorten that food chain and make it easier and convenient to get local products on your home. We deliver island wide. So that's my third hat. And then I have a super small, digital, marketing agency with another partner, and it's all focused on food and beverage. So everything is about food but from different perspectives.  00:21:25 Melissa: Yeah. That's so interesting because it's almost like you have a little supply chain kind of going on. Right? It's like we've got a lot going on, but it's all related to eating, which is essential. But I think it's smart. I mean, you have your little niche there. Huge niche. We keep being hungry, so you're in a good spot, I would say.  00:21:49 Melissa: So let me understand this idea about food and how you saw it as an opportunity for Puerto Rico because it has a rich history. Right? So me as a mom, for example, I'm second generation from a Puerto Rican perspective. As a mom, for me, passing down culture is urgent. It's almost on the verge of extinction, I feel, because of where I am generationally. Like, I'm, quote, unquote, “amongst people that I know I'm not,” quote, unquote, “supposed to know Spanish.” I'm not, quote, unquote, “supposed to literally make rice and beans every day,” which by the way, I don't have to. But my goodness, my children really like their rice and beans. And I am so lazy. So that is all I make because I just want one pot.  00:22:40 Melissa: But anyway, so culture, food, that's the one way that I pass it along. Right? You are what you eat. So guess what? My kids are Puerto Rican and Cuban, at this stage. Yes. They have Dominican in them, but, hey, that's just my culinary preference. So tell me about this idea of culture, Puerto Rican culture. And I would be super curious if you could maybe choose an example of a cuisine or food and just kind of walk us through how that kind of expresses culture or maybe there's a story behind it that is unique to Puerto Rico.  00:23:20 Crystal: Well, for me and my mentor used to be doctor Cruz Miguel Ortiz Cuadra, which was the only food historian in Puerto Rico. He passed two years ago, but I learned so much from him and pretty much I was his daughter. He inherit me all his library, which I have here, home. And, so we discussed this a lot. And I think that we both shared that the ultimate dish that represents the Puerto Rican culture will be the pasteles. For those that doesn't know what a pastel is, it's a tamal like preparation. But the tamales are corn based and they use corn leaves to wrap it up. The pasteles puertorriqueños is made out of a dough made out of root vegetables mainly. 00:24:20 Crystal: It will have bananas and plantains that we got from our African in [inaudible]. It will have pumpkin, which were already with our Taino peoples here in America. It will have yautia, which also was here in Puerto Rico. And then, it will have some pork stew that was brought by the Spanish people. So you have in one dish our full heritage of the three cultures that have conformed the Puerto Rican-ness in just one dish.  00:25:01 Crystal: And then that works too will use, what is the ultimate base of flavor of the Puerto Rican cuisine, which is the sofrito. And the sofrito itself also is a blend of African, Spanish, and Taino ingredients, but it's a bricolage of flavors and smells that then go into the stew that then is used to make the pastel. And the pastel is also representative of the most authentic Puerto Rican soul because el pastel is wrapped as a gift.  00:25:40 Crystal: And if you were poor and there was a lot of poverty in Puerto Rico at some – we still have, but there used to be a lot of poverty back in the days. If you didn't have any resources, monetary resources to gift things, you will make pasteles with the things that are on your patio. You will have that growing up in your patio, in your garden, and then you will do pasteles, and you will gift that to your adult, kids, to your sisters, to your brothers.  00:26:13 Crystal: And so because it's – now we have technology, and now we can use food processors and so on. But back in the day, you had to grate that by hand. So if you have that gift, I am not only gifting you my talent and the products that I grow in my patio, but I'm also gifting my time. So it's a very meaningful way of telling someone that you really care about them. 00:26:42 Crystal: And that's all about Puerto Ricans. We care. We care a lot. We want to share everything that we have. And all the visitors that we have, they all can say that Puerto Ricans are always nice to them. Even if we have people that doesn't speak so much English, they will take you to whatever place you wanted to go, trying to understand you and enjoying our island. So I think that the pastel is representative of all the goodness of the Puerto Ricans.  00:27:16 Melissa: Let's pause for a second. If you've been nodding your head all along while listening to Crystal talk about food as fuel for imagination, then I wanna put this on your radar. My book, Fertile Imagination is for any mom who's ever thought, “I know I'm capable of more, but I don't know where to start.”  00:27:39 Melissa: And as one Amazon reviewer said this of my book, Fertile Imagination, which is all about maximizing your superpower to make your maximum impact, She says this, “It's a non judgmental kick in the butt to start valuing your whole selves and to create a new reality where we combine motherhood with our big dreams. Whether you're chasing an idea during nap time or whispering your big vision,” this is hilarious, “into a spatula, then this book is your creative permission slip.”  00:28:17 Melissa: You're gonna hear stories, especially if you like this conversation with Crystal. You're gonna hear a story as well from a podcast guest that I had here who is a James Beard award winning chef, Gabriele Corcos. And you're gonna learn about how he has really latched on to this idea of novelty as his way to explore new categories of interest in his one beautiful life. So I want to just be sure that you realize that this conversation is the beginning of the process. I wanted you to see through Crystal how if your imagination was reawakened, you can start to reimagine how you approach your own life. And I think that's important.  00:29:04 Melissa: But then the book, Fertile Imagination, goes on and adds some tools that you can actually use to incorporate your imagination into your one divine life. And here's the thing, because you could use your imagination from any place you are in the world, you won't have to hop on a plane and go to any place. You can actually just close your eyes and replug in to the little girl that you once were who had all these beautiful ideas that you wanted to play out in the world and that's what I want for you. 00:29:41 Melissa: So here's what I have for you. Just go ahead to fertileideas.com. If you're driving, if you're running, if you're walking, you could do this in a bit. Just go to fertileideas.com and you could download a free chapter of my book, Fertile Imagination. What's really amazing about that chapter is that that chapter basically takes you to a place where you can go and travel back in time, to that moment when you were most free, to that moment where you had the world totally ahead of you and you were imagining what you wanted for your one divine life. That's what I did when I got on stage at the Magnet Theater in New York City 100 years ago now, so it feels. 00:30:25 Melissa: But I talk about that moment for me in that chapter that you can get for free right now on fertileideas.com. So back to the show. Again, shop the book. This episode is brought to you by Fertile Imagination, every mom's superpower. Go to fertileideas.com. Grab the free chapter. Why not? What are you gonna do? Have an amazing time reading a free chapter? That's the way to set yourself up for success for this summer. All right. Enjoy the rest of the conversation.  00:30:55 Melissa: I've never ever heard of un pastel in that way. I'm just like… it's fascinating because I also think it's… maybe it's just me, but I feel like there's a bit of an acquired taste to it too. Like, for me. Right? When I think about a pastel and I compare it to a tamal, I do not think about a Mexican tamal at all. I think about Cuban. I think about– 00:31:26 Crystal: Yeah. Sure. 00:31:28 Melissa: And for me, it's really fascinating to hear the story behind the pastel in the sense that it's very, very comprehensive. You could… I mean, I bet you there's probably books already. Or maybe you're gonna write a book. Maybe you got a fourth – a fifth hat to wear, right? You can write about pasteles. I mean, it's not a bad gig.  00:31:49 Melissa: But I think it's really interesting. And I think it's a testament to the fact that irrespective of where someone travels to the depth with which they can get to know and appreciate a culture is almost unlimited in a way, right? It's… like, for me and my family, I am not a Disney World person. But I've been to Disney World because it's kinda like, “Oh, we just go to Disney World and I have three kids.” And you got a cat. That's a little bit of a cat. She's got a cat. If you're watching this on video, you see her big and fluffy cat. Is your cat Puerto Rican though? 00:32:29 Crystal: She is Puerto Rican. She is a sato cat.  00:32:31 Melissa: Aw.  00:32:32 Crystal: She's a rescue one.  00:32:34 Melissa: So cute. She probably eats pasteles because she's got meat on her. She's a solid cat. But, yeah, just the depth with which you could understand a culture, what I'm hearing from you, Crystal, it can absolutely include history and and careful attention to the food that you're eating. Right? I think about just everywhere that I've traveled and every time I've eaten food, it's kind of like there's almost a story or a reason for why something is on a plate, and it's not always superficial. It's not just labor profile. It could have to do with political conversations. It could have to do with whoever decided that that food would make its way to that region.  00:33:27 Melissa: But let me ask you this question then. So just to kind of close-up this conversation on something that I think is very practical, I'm gonna ask you a very selfish question. Okay, so I'm on the quest for the perfect sofrito. I'm gonna tell you what I do for my sofrito. So it's my ritual on Sundays. I take all the peppers that I find, red, green, yellow, and even orange because it comes in that pack. I also then buy cilantro. I'm in Texas, so let's just be mindful I'm limited in some of the things I can get.  00:34:05 Melissa: Also because I'm a health conscious mom, I put bone broth in the blender so that this way things can blend. Right? I put onions. I put garlic. I put some oregano. That is what's in my sofrito on a good day. Melissa's like, “Okay. I am ready to make a sofrito.” How can I enhance that sofrito, or how do you teach people that visit El Pretexto how to make their own sofrito?  00:34:39 Crystal: Well, sofrito is one thing as the pasteles. Right? Everybody have their own recipe, and everybody says that their mom's sofrito is the best. Right? [inaudible] My mom's sofrito is the best. So that's the one that I do. And I'm happy to share the recipe for you because I have it written.  00:35:03 Crystal: But there are two schools of Sofrito to begin with. The school that says you do your Sofrito on a Sunday and you don't touch it… you don't do another Sofrito batch up until that one is gone in one or two weeks. And then you have my mom's school, which is you do your sofrito every time that you're gonna cook. 00:35:28 Melissa: Gotcha. Right.  00:35:31 Crystal: Obviously, that's nice for those that are retired and have all the time in the world. I do it that way. I'm not retired, but it's because I have a– 00:35:40 Melissa: That's your job. 00:35:41 Crystal: That's how she does it. And I don't want to, to your point, I want to continue her way of doing things. So, there are onions. We don't use all the colors of the bell peppers. We actually use cubanelle pepper. Onion cubanelle, then we will have the aji dulce, the sweet little pepper we need. We will have the cilantro, but we will also have culantro. [inaudible]. Yeah? And then, we will have garlic in it, a little bit of oregano, and pretty much that's the base. 00:36:29 Crystal: So depending on who you ask, there are people that will omit having the onion, and they will do it when they are cooking, if they're doing a batch. And then you will have people that will go all the way in with a lot of culantro in it, so it has that strong flavor to it. My mom's is more balanced in how much goes of each little thing in there. And we also use the bone broth, but not to blend the sofrito, but to stew the rice. If it's gonna be a stew rice, we will do bone broth instead of water with the rice. 00:37:18 Crystal: And then, the beans, we like them vegetarians. We don't use any hams or meat cuts into it. But, again, that's us. There are people that say that the most flavorful ones is with a piece of ham in it and whatever. But, I like… my mom's and mine are vegetarian. And my cat starts again.  00:37:43 Crystal: But, sofrito is is very personal. You know? It's part of how your family has done it. And as I told earlier, it's also a blend of these three cultures that goes into it. A lot of cultures have mirepoix or other type of base of flavors into their food and this is ours. So you have to make it yours but also learn that there is a lot of history into it. It's not something that we do because we do it. There is a lot of history into it. But, yeah, happy to share my mom's one with you. 00:38:29 Melissa: Yeah. For sure. Crystal, this was so amazing. So I would say around now, a lot of individuals are planning their summer holiday trips and vacations and all of that. So, maybe you can share where people can learn more about you, can learn more about El Pretexto if that's an option to them to kind of explore, and just follow your journey. 00:38:53 Crystal: Yeah. Sure. Well, a friendly reminder that it is an adults only project. So this might be your chance to… El Pretexto actually translates to “The Excuse.” So this might be your excuse to having your parents take care of the kids and hop down to the island and have a little bit of a honeymoon. But, El Pretexto, you can find it at elprotextopr.com. We're also in social media @elprotextopr in Facebook and Instagram.  00:39:30 Crystal: There you will meet our chickens and photos of our garden and our harvest and the breakfast, and maybe you get a little bit hungry. In our website, you will find different options because you could come for a weekend or you could come for a weekday stay, but also you could come for these curated food experiences, which are in very specific dates around the year. We also have dinners, farm to table dinners in our property. We invite guest chefs to cook dinners, around the year.  00:40:08 Crystal: And, also, I take people to other places in the countryside to enjoy a beautiful lunch, but getting to know another piece of countryside around the island. So, El Pretexto is no other thing than the celebration of the beautiful diverse countryside of Puerto Rico. And you can check all the information there. So, yeah, feel free to follow me there.  00:40:37 Melissa: Thank you so much, Crystal. This has been amazing. Have an awesome rest of your day. Keep enjoying the peace and serenity of the mountains and the Caribbean Sea and all the beauty that you see outside your window. Thank you so much for this conversation.  00:40:53 Crystal: Thank you. Thank you for the invitation.  00:40:56 Melissa: So what's your version of a sofrito? Right? Let's take it out of the kitchen and into your home office. What sort of things for you can you put together to create your next big idea, whether it's something for business, something for your personal life or something for your family this very summer. I am so excited to have had Crystal Diaz for this conversation because I think she's inspiring all of us. She's giving us a good idea of all the ways that we could color our own individual rainbows.  00:41:33 Melissa: At the same time, I want this to just remind you that your imagination could be stirred into anything, right? Especially like tonight's dinner. So catch up on Tuesdays on the Mom Founder Imagination Hub and until then, keep cooking up ideas that only you can serve. I honestly think there's a place in this world for imaginations. And irrespective of AI and technology, at the end of the day, it's only as good as the person behind the computer screen, our prompts, our ideas, the way that we decide to use these resources.  00:42:10 Melissa: And that is the best case for you to actually keep your imagination going and playing with it. So thank you for this conversation. And again, if you are interested in learning more about the book, just go to fertileideas.com. Have an amazing rest of your day, moms.  

Are these 5 resume mistakes secretly slashing your shot at a $250K marketing role in 2025—while others snatch the offers you deserve? In this must-listen episode, Melissa Llarena—career coach to Fortune 500 execs—unveils the blunders sinking corporate moms and their partners in today's brutal job market. Don't get caught out—tune in and snag a free fix before March 21st! Episode Description: Struggling to land a top-tier marketing or advertising role in 2025—or know someone who is? Melissa Llarena, host since 2017 (with interviews like Beth Comstock and Gary Vee under her belt), dives back to her 2011 roots to help corporate pros thrive. After 13 years coaching agency leaders and execs—pre-Fertile Imagination fame—she's uncovered 5 resume mistakes tanking even the sharpest marketers. Burned-out CMOs, blindsided managers, and guilt-juggling leaders are scoring 15/60 on resumes when 50+ is the winning mark. In this episode, learn: The 5 resume killers—missed revenue wins, weak storytelling, and more—costing you big. How networking strategies and AI smarts flip flops into $250K offers. Why the Marketing Leader Scorecard (free till March 21st) is your DIY ticket to 50+. Melissa's also booking interview preparation services—think Last-Minute Interview Prep for video interviews and in-person interviews, or her 9-week deep dive with multi-stakeholder interviewing strategies, cross-cultural interviews, and interview presentation support. Ready to shine? Grab her free tool and fix those mistakes now! Free Download: Snag the Marketing Leader Scorecard at https://bit.ly/mlscore—free through March 21st, 2025. Score yourself across five key areas and see if you're competitive—or leaving $250K on the table. Bonus Reward: Share this episode with a friend who's struggling (partner, husband, colleague), then email Melissa at melissa@melissallarena.com with “I forwarded to [Friend's Name]”. You'll score Boost Your Interview Answers—a PDF purchased by hundreds, loaded with proven tips to ace interviews. Plus, the first 5 forwarders get a free 15-minute resume or pitch review—booked by March 31! Keywords: Interview preparation services, interview presentation support, multi-stakeholder interviewing strategies, video interviews, in-person interviews, cross-cultural interviews, storytelling, networking strategies, resume tweaks, 2025 job market, marketing resume mistakes. Connect: Book a call for VIP accelerators: www.melissallarena.com/sessions Follow Melissa on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissallarena/ Share this episode—help a marketer win in 2025!   interview preparation services,interview presentation support,multi-stakeholder interviewing strategies,video interviews,in-person interviews,cross-cultural interviews,storytelling,networking strategies,resume tweaks,2025 job market,marketing resume mistakes,job search 2025,career coaching,marketing careers,corporate moms,$250K jobs,AI job market,Fortune 500 careers,Melissa Llarena,Mom Founder Imagination Hub

Landing Your Dream Marketing Role in the #RemoteEra Most marketing execs are getting ghosted in 2025—but the ones scoring Director to CMO roles are doing way more. I'll show you the exact moves that land $250K calls, even remotely. Hi, I'm Melissa Llarena, and welcome back to the podcast. For over a decade, I've helped ambitious marketing executives and advertising leaders land their dream careers through my global job search coaching firm, Career Outcomes Matter, launched in 2011. I'm back, better than ever, with strategies that work right now—and today, we're tackling how you can stand out in this cutthroat #RemoteEra or #Hybrid job market. Let's get real—this isn't your average job advice. In 2025, landing those rare, high-stakes marketing roles isn't about just sending a resume, cover letter, or even thoughtfully updating applications. It's about outworking and out-strategizing the competition. Let me ask you something to set the stage… Would YOU have stayed on the Titanic, knowing you had a chance to get off before the last lifeboat was filled? Hoping you'd survive icy waters isn't smart—and neither is letting your marketing career sink when you could turn it around. You wouldn't watch a campaign fail if you knew how to save it, right? The same goes for your career, especially in today's #RemoteEra or #Hybrid world. As a high-performing marketer or job seeker, you're in a race—and it's tougher than ever to land Director-level and above roles, especially if you're a working parent or world-class aunt eyeing flexibility. But here's the truth I've seen and helped my clients achieve: the marketers getting interviews and calls in 2025 aren't just applying—they're bringing market analysis, SOPs, portfolios, and 90–100 day plans that blow hiring leaders away. That's how you prove you're worth multiple rounds and a salary at the top end of $130K–$285K+. Imagine cutting your job search short, writing that resignation letter, and avoiding a layoff. That's the edge I give my clients—and I'm sharing it with you today.” Let's get specific—here are four high-level marketing roles I know will attract top talent in 2025, where the differentiator is the candidate who brings the goods. These are the exact deliverables I've helped my clients create, present, and land with, along with quick pro tips based on what impresses hiring leaders: Headspace - Principal Brand Strategist, $130K–$183K base: Bring a one-page analysis of the mental health ecosystem—why Headspace beats Calm or other apps—and show how branding creates a utilization halo effect. Director of Marketing, Advisory Practice at Acquisition.com, Las Vegas, NV (Hybrid), $150K–$180K base: Prove you can lead with praise, not punishment, and explain how you'd contribute to Alex's $1B-plus vision in 36 months or less. SVP, Marketing Enablement at Warner Music Group, $210K–$285K base: Bring a framework showing how you'd lead a full marketing service provider audit. Chief of Staff, Marketing at IBM (Salary not posted): Dive into CMO Clay's vision—check his talks—and understand how McKinsey trains leaders, since you'll likely compete with McKinsey alums or IBM insiders. *All roles can be found on LinkedIn. They are live as of March 3rd, 2025.* These moves are what's working now to land $285K calls, even remotely. That's the ‘doing more' that gets you noticed in 2025. How do I know this works? I launched Career Outcomes Matter in 2011 to coach global marketing leaders like you, wrote Fertile Imagination—a #1 Amazon bestseller in 2023—to inspire storytelling for dream careers, and I've hosted icons like Beth Comstock and GaryVee on this podcast early on. Recently, I earned my meditation certification after a two-year program to support clients through high-stress transitions. I've dedicated my life to learning and teaching the art of relationship-building—and now, I'm back with strategies that give you the edge in this brutal job market. Listen, if you're a serious marketing executive ready to stop getting ghosted and land your dream $150K+ role—or boost your income by 25%—I'm here to help. I'm enrolling a max of 10 ambitious marketing leaders into my 9-week group coaching program, starting this Sunday, March 9, 2025. It's a 2-week risk-free trial, and if you join by March 31st, I'll personally rewrite your resume or LinkedIn profile for free—that's a $1,500 value. Book a 15-minute job search fit session with me today at www.melissallarena.com/sessions. I've got tons of slots open in the next 48-hours, and I'd love to see if this is the right fit for you—or anyone you know who's frustrated with their boss, worried about layoffs, stalled on promotions, or feeling stuck. Let's turn your career into the success story it's meant to be. I'm Melissa Llarena, and I can't wait to help you win. A client was on a sinking ship in the energy sector and here's what she said about our partnership.... From A Sinking Ship Company in The Energy Sector To A Remote Strategic Partnerships Role In A Top Tier Business School I did get the offer as you know = great result!! The back-and-forth collaboration on interview questions and answers was powerful for me. I liked that you kept me accountable. I would have dragged my feet a lot longer. By investing in coaching this made me cut through my excuses and motivated me to go above and beyond by preparing for an interview 10x more than what I have ever done before. I got my dream job and the hiring manager told me how impressed everyone was and how my performance was heads above the other candidates who were MORE experienced in the function. My work is quite fun. It's rewarding work, fantastic people, ramping up some new skills and the lifestyle is to die for. Thank you, Melissa for our partnership." A 20+ year communications professional's message about what it takes to land a dream marketing job - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe7otOG-i8Y A former Volvo employee in China lands a role in the U.S. making more money than the role originally called for - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2vmjc0cTcg A former tech executive who landed in a non-profit YET got a bump in pay - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jswvB9Km6J4 Let's hop on a 15-minute job search fit call today: https://www.melissallarena.com/sessions/ SHARE this episode with your family and friends who are currently in the job market or they keep telling you they should be out there hunting. Until next Tuesday…

Imagine crushing your biggest business goal in just 30 days—without the burnout or mom guilt. What if you could get a $3K coaching program for free, designed exclusively for mom entrepreneurs like you? In this episode, Melissa Llarena, #1 Amazon bestselling author and mom of three, unveils an exclusive pilot program you won't want to miss—but only if you act by Friday! What You'll Discover: How 15 established business-owning moms can join Melissa's 30-Day Mompreneur Momentum Sprint—a $3,000 value, 100% free (this time only!). The secret sauce: a 30-Day Momentum Planner to laser-focus your energy, 22 live Q&A sessions (March 3-April 1, M-F 1pm CST), plus imagination tools, mindfulness hacks, and sales strategies tailored for moms. Why Jessica, a fellow mom, raves: “It infuses play and creativity while keeping it real about mom life and self-care.” The catch? Only 15 spots, and the application deadline is February 28, 2025, 5pm Central. How to Apply: Head to https://bit.ly/fertilecohort now. Fill out the short app on the left (name, email, website, 50 words on why you're a fit). You'll get the planner just for applying, and if selected, next steps on March 1st. Don't wait—spots are limited! Who's This For? Mom business owners ready to level up, craving accountability, and done grinding alone. Not for the toe-dippers—this is for the committed. Take Action: Apply by Friday at https://bit.ly/fertilecohort. By April 1st, you could have real progress on your biggest goal—calmer, recharged, and guilt-free. Go now! ****   Mompreneur Business coaching for moms Free coaching program 30-day business sprint Mom entrepreneur Business goals for moms Accountability for entrepreneurs Mindfulness for business owners Sales strategies for moms Melissa Llarena Mom Founder Imagination Hub Fertile Imagination Business planner for moms Cohort for mom entrepreneurs Application deadline February 28, 2025

Send us a textAre you a mom entrepreneur feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or struggling to reignite your creativity while growing your business? In this episode of The Good Enough Mompreneur Podcast, I sit down with Melissa Llarena, author of Fertile Imagination and host of The Mom Founder Imagination Hub Podcast, to explore how motherhood can fuel—not hinder—your entrepreneurial success.Melissa shares her journey of launching and scaling her business while raising three children, including twins, and how she reclaimed her confidence and creativity after losing herself in the early years of motherhood. You'll learn how to tap into your imagination, overcome self-doubt, and use your past experiences as fuel for business growth.Plus, stick around for three actionable takeaways you can implement today to move forward with clarity, confidence, and renewed energy.What You'll Learn in This Episode:✅ Why your imagination is your greatest business asset—even when you feel uninspired✅ How your past challenges can shape your entrepreneurial success✅ The mindset shift that helps mompreneurs balance business and motherhood✅ How to find hidden resources and support already available to you✅ Melissa's best strategies for overcoming self-doubt and regaining confidence✅ The power of community and why building relationships is crucial to business growthConnect with Melissa Llarena:

My conversation with a non-profit CEO, a long-time mentor, recently turned to our dreams for our children. It began when she shared how her mother had praised her beautiful New Jersey home, which led her to reflect: "I'd want my kids to live in castles! I want them to have even more than I do." Like any parent, I want my three sons to surpass me in every aspect of life—and even create new categories beyond AI to conquer! However, I've realized my own limiting beliefs and stress responses could unknowingly cap their success if I don't consciously address them. For example, my fear of openly competing or declaring my ambition for first place—how can my sons confidently compete on a world stage if I haven't confronted this fear? Similarly, if we avoid networking because we fear rejection, can we effectively teach our children to build connections? This is where our greatest opportunity for inter-generational impact lies: facing our own limitations so they don't become our children's inheritance. My mother's primary concern was the potential inheritance of her manic depression. This fear led her to anxiously await my thirtieth birthday, believing symptoms would likely manifest before then if I were to inherit it. This sparked my curiosity about breaking the cycle of inherited limiting beliefs for my own sons. For thirteen years, as a mother, I've considered how to proactively guide my children toward success. I believe we can break negative cycles and cultivate a new model of success by nurturing their strengths, fostering healthy mindsets, and focusing on key skills like imagination, cross-cultural thinking, and resilience. This is about empowering our children from the start. Generational patterns often include inherited personality traits, impacting education and career choices. Families frequently pass down expectations and lessons, often along gender lines. These inherited mindsets shape our understanding of what it means to be a girl or boy within our family. Children observe and adopt behaviors they perceive as normalized expectations. They may also be explicitly taught specific ways of thinking, especially in early childhood. Limiting beliefs can also be passed down. In my family, I observed a lack of desire or ability to ascend into leadership positions or gain mastery in a field. My mother, a secretary for corporate leaders, held a strong limiting belief that she lacked the intelligence to provide valuable recommendations. This idea was ingrained in me, driving my need for external validation in corporate settings. While this mindset sometimes helped me in corporate life, it didn't translate well into entrepreneurship. My mother's limiting belief was essentially a form of impostor syndrome. Her lack of confidence stemmed from various factors. As a child, I mistakenly attributed it to her not having a four-year degree. She often mentioned her inability to finish her degree as a working mom. Yet, her illness and its constant disruptions likely caused her to question her ability to contribute meaningfully to leadership conversations. As a child, I simply saw her as a secretary supporting leaders. Our family felt inconsequential. This perception shifted when I met children from families who held positions of influence. I realized I needed to address this inherited limiting belief. Though young, caring for my mother fostered a sense of maturity, allowing me to envision a different future. I didn't want to simply play a supporting role. So, where did I start? 1980s sitcoms like Who's the Boss? sparked my career aspirations. I wanted that life: Connecticut, business owner, advertising. Without a mentor, TV was my guide. Summers stamping travel brochures ignited my wanderlust. London, Singapore – the world felt attainable. My mom didn't travel, but I craved that broader experience. I knew life beyond my zip code held possibilities. I worked with what I had: imagination. I had a career blueprint from fiction, then exposure to someone who explored globally my stepmother owned a travel agency. I realized following their path wouldn't be easy, but I had something they didn't teach on TV – resilience, inherited from my mom. I knew I could stumble, fall, and get back up. Ultimately, I achieved that dream: Connecticut, Ogilvy & Mather, even Australia for 3.5 years. My podcast, The Mom Founder Imagination Hub, features conversations with world leaders. These realities weren't in my original blueprint, but resilience was my active ingredient. What's yours? If you want more for your kids, discover it. Imagination, cross-cultural thinking, resilience – these are the tools to re-architect success for our kids. This is my parenting blueprint now. My sons will tweak it, of course; change demands it. Let's focus on your kids, your blueprint, and overcoming challenges and limiting beliefs so they can achieve more than you did. How can you transform thoughts like, "I don't feel comfortable asking for money," "Getting on stage gives me anxiety," or "I hate competing" into lessons that build resilience? If you want your child to own a business but you've never had one, you'll need to address these areas of discomfort. Since these limiting beliefs are inherent in entrepreneurship, how can you use them to your advantage? One way is to challenge yourself to ask for discounts in front of your kids, or challenge them to do it. I dared my kids to do this, letting them keep their savings. This tackles the "asking for money" hurdle. Public speaking anxiety? Bring your kids into the process. Share your fears and how you manage them. Have them brainstorm solutions. The goal is to expose them to the same challenges they'll face and show them how you move forward. Age-appropriate conversations are key. For the discount example, include prep sessions where you brainstorm possible questions with your kids. They can choose from your list or create their own. ("Can I get a discount for paying cash?" "Is there a student discount?" "Is there a sale coming up?") For public speaking, articulate your worries simply: "Mommy feels yucky in her tummy because she's nervous about talking." This leverages mindfulness – acknowledging the physical sensations of anxiety – to start a conversation.   Here's A Blueprint Reframing Exercise 1.     What is a dream you have for your child? (e.g., Living in a castle, owning their own business) 2.     What qualities must they have to fulfill that dream? 3.     Write out your analysis of whether your blueprint offers those qualities. Pick out the ones that are in direct contrast to what your child will need. Example 1.     You never want your kid to work for a boss in a big corporate company. 2.     You know that working for a startup or building one requires the ability to build relationships. 3.     You love talking about real-life with your mom friends. You adore helping people. You are a connector. However, you do not like asking for help or asking for intros or turning friendships into professional relationships. 4.     Here's an opportunity to work on your limiting belief so that it doesn't get in your kid's way later on: turn a Saturday soccer practice conversation into a business one in front of your kids ideally. I'm not asking you to do anything I have not already done. During my sons' soccer match I turned a personal friendship into a professional partnership because I took interest in the careers of the moms around me. The same applies for our kids. Yes, in school they might have project-based work but what about in other realms of life from church to sports to music. Give the kids a chance to build personal relationships that can translate into a professional objective outside of their scenarios. The thinking behind this intentional thinking on your limiting belief not being your kid's limiting beliefs is worthwhile because our minds are flexible. According to Carol Dweck you can change your thinking and as a mother doing this in front of your kids gives your kids a real shot at having what you didn't have due in part to that limiting belief. Take for example one of my clients who is the co-founder of a non-profit that has brought in millions in donations. She recently decided to sing in front of an audience after years of feeling frivolous for doing such things. Her son might be under ten but now his mom has not only expressed herself after years of hiding this personal love of hers but also provided an example to her son of what a woman putting herself out there looks like. Imagine this mom talking to her son ten years from now when he wants to do something silly like be in a band or launch a YouTube channel featuring his own videogames. This conversation will sound very different because his mom now went through every emotion under the sun to get on stage and figured out how to navigate them in a similar way. Can you see how this guidance will sound totally differently once informed by your own evidence vs. a wish for your kids that you didn't have the chutzpah to go first? The same goes for a mom who would love her kids to live abroad but never got over her fear of living in a land where she doesn't know anyone or perhaps the language. Sure our kids might be daring whereas we never were but the potential is greater if you went first. You'd be the perfect coach and in instances where you wouldn't be the right coach then you can always ask the world for help – that's again where ideas can come from anywhere even outside of your home country. There are many ways to build a growth mindset in your kids. It starts with shifting praise from innate talent to effort, practice, and skill development. Instead of "Wow, you're a great reader," try "Wow, you're working really hard to get through those books." This shows kids they control their effort, which drives mastery. Here are some tangible examples of nurturing imagination, seeking diverse ideas, and building resilience: ·       Imagination: Ask open-ended questions. After reading a book, ask your kids to imagine alternate endings. For example: "How might this book end differently?" ·       Cross-cultural thinking: Explore YouTube. Instead of limiting content to your own culture, find channels featuring diverse ways of life and experiences. ·       Resilience: Practice exploring weaknesses. While everyone enjoys winning, growth comes from discomfort. If your child isn't into sports, encourage them to try a competition. The goal isn't victory, but finishing the competition. The lesson: "You might dislike this sport, but you can still participate; your capacity is still valid." A growth mindset, fueled by imagination, cross-cultural thinking, and resilience, helps children break free from inherited limitations and design their own blueprints. We must be honest about our own limitations, work on them, and model a different path for our kids. Then, give them opportunities to practice these new, empowering beliefs. One blueprint does not fit all Each child is unique. You could have three kids with three distinct dreams requiring different skills and beliefs. While it would be ideal to eliminate all your limiting beliefs, who has time for that? Instead, let your kids lead the way. Create environments for them to explore their ambitions at every age. Here I am taking a page from another culture... In South Korea, there's a tradition called Doljanchi where a one year old child chooses from a selection of objects, supposedly indicating their future career. You can adapt this idea, but ultimately, be intensely curious about what your kids gravitate toward. If your child loves a Valentine's Day craft activity, you've discovered an interest. If they dislike it, note their preferences. This is valuable data. Want to introduce them to new cultures? Let them try Duolingo. Teaching resilience? Encourage them to ask their teacher to redo an assignment. Just asking takes bravery. These ideas are age-dependent. Building these proficiencies varies with capacity. If you'd like more ideas tailored to specific age groups, just ask! You don't want to pass along limiting beliefs, and I'm here to help." Your turn "What one small step can you take today to break a negative cycle and empower your child's unique path to success – focusing on imagination, cross-cultural thinking, and resilience – and incorporate it into your evolving Fertile Imagination Blueprint?"   Ready to break the negative cycle and ignite your child's unique potential? Don't wait. Begin implementing these strategies today, and discover the power of fostering imagination, cross-cultural thinking, and resilience. My book, Fertile Imagination, offers a foundation, but personalized guidance can amplify your impact. Let's work together to craft a tailored education plan that empowers both you and your child.   Schedule a session at www.melissallarena.com/sessions and let's build your family's blueprint for a vibrant, successful future. Only 5 Spots Left! Claim Your FREE Call + Educational Plan Before 2/14. Melissa Llarena is an author, imagination coach, consultant, speaker, and contributor to ForbesWomen articles that have garnered 4 million + views. She is also the host of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub, the podcast for entrepreneurs, founders, and creators who are also moms. Featured guests include GaryVee and Beth Comstock. Melissa holds a psychology degree from New York University, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate. She is also a certified meditation practitioner. Melissa lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and three sons. Visit www.fertileideas.com.

Send Kiona a Text Message!Mariela expected to have one child and be done. Little did she know that getting pregnant for a second time unexpectedly 9 years later would lead her to twins and a breast cancer diagnosis. Tune in to this episode to hear Mariela talk about her journey of discovering she was pregnant with twins, that she had breast cancer as well as discussing the importance of mental health. birthasweknowitpodcast.com/78 Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only with no intention of giving or replacing any medical advice. I, Kiona Nessenbaum, am not a licensed medical professional. All advice that is given on the podcast is from the personal experience of the storytellers. All medical or health-related questions should be directed to your licensed provider.  For another story about a twin birth for a second pregnancy tune into episode 64-Melissa Llarena-3 Vaginal Births-Twins-Gabriel, Noah & Nicholas.Resources:Perinatal Support of Washington: https://perinatalsupport.org/ Postpartum Support International: https://www.postpartum.netBreast Cancer During Pregnancy Hope for Two: The Pregnant with Cancer Network  Definitions:Identical vs Fraternal TwinsOvary Removal Pregnancy at Age 35 or Older/Advanced Maternal Age (AMA)Cold Capping 4min Podcast (English)Welcome to 4minEN – the English version of a multilingual podcast that delivers the...Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifySupport the showThank you so much for tuning in to this episode! If you like this podcast, don't hesitate to share it and leave a review so it can bring the podcast to the attention of others. If you want to share your own birth story or experience on the Birth As We Know It™️ Podcast, head over to https://birthasweknowitpodcast.com/ or fill out this Guest Request Form. Support the podcast and become a part of the BAWKI™️ Community by becoming a Patron on the Birth As We Know It Patreon Page! And don't forget to join in on the fun in the Private Facebook Group!

Have you ever told yourself "I'm not creative enough" to solve a business challenge? In this episode, Melissa guides female leaders and mom founders through a powerful meditation practice designed to break free from limiting beliefs about creativity. Through a combination of mindfulness techniques and guided reflection, you'll: Learn how to identify and challenge creativity-limiting beliefs Experience a body scan meditation for releasing tension Practice reframing negative thoughts about your creative abilities Discover how to access your natural problem-solving capabilities Transform your relationship with creativity and innovation The episode includes a practical meditation exercise you can use whenever you face a business challenge requiring creative solutions. Melissa shares personal stories, including her experience in business school and conversations with her son about creativity, to illustrate how we can expand our definition of what it means to be creative. Connect with Melissa: melissa.llarena [at] gmail.com About your host Melissa Llarena of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub podcast I'm a meditation practitioner and #1 Amazon bestselling author who has spent years peering into the minds of marketers and executives, both as one of them and as their trusted guide. My articles in ForbesWomen have reached over 4 million readers, but what really lights me up is the deep work I do with people who, like me, have spent years shape-shifting to succeed. My own journey through the corporate world – 10 years at powerhouses like Ogilvy (working on IBM) and P&G (yes, even Charmin!) – taught me firsthand about wearing different hats across 14+ business functions. For the past 13 years, I've had the privilege of coaching over 200 marketing and advertising executives worldwide, having raw, honest conversations about what it really costs us to morph ourselves every single day. When I'm hosting the Mom Founder Imagination Hub podcast, I get to dive deep with remarkable leaders like Beth Comstock and GaryVee, exploring how to tap into our most overlooked superpower: imagination. My psychology degree from NYU, Dartmouth MBA, and Transformational Coaching certification gave me the foundation, but it was the pandemic that showed me – and my clients – that we needed something more. In 2021, when ambition felt impossible and imagination seemed out of reach, I realized we were all exhausted from trying to power through. That's when I took a leap – pausing my coaching practice to write a book filled with soul-searching questions, while earning my meditation certification from the Jack Kornfield organization. Now, I blend all these pieces – my corporate insider experience, thousands of honest conversations, and meditation wisdom – into workshops, sessions, and immersions that truly connect. Using imaginative meditation, mindfulness practices that even the most restless executives love, and revealing journaling exercises, I help people find their way back to themselves. Because here's what I know: when we stop losing ourselves every time life or business throws us a curveball, we can finally use our energy for what really matters – creating the impact we're meant to make. TRANSCRIPT   Hello there. This is Melissa, your host behind the mom founder imagination hub podcast. This unedited episode is really geared towards any mom or female leader who has a business challenge that they must overcome with greater creativity. Someone who is seeking to find the inner innovator that. Maybe she once had once felt, but has been struggling to bring back to the forefront. My intention is for you to feel empowered. My intention is for you to feel creative enough to solve whatever you're facing. Business challenge you wish to solve this very week. Now you may not know this, but over the last 13 years, I have coached female leaders who have shared their deepest, darkest, innermost secrets, such as why they actually leave different organizations or bosses or teams, or the things that they wish they could have done. Done. Had they been given the ability to speak up or the ability to step up, you name it, I've heard it. And with these ideas in mind, I wanted to just bring forth this one limiting belief that I heard consistently in my line of work, career coaching, female leaders, primarily in the advertising and marketing function. And it was this,  this idea that I'm not creative, or I don't see myself as a creative person. The idea that whatever it is to be a creative is something that is impossible to achieve, to be, if I wasn't originally hired. on literally the creative team, oftentimes from an agency perspective. And so I want to help guide you through a meditation, also a little bit of a journaling exercise so that you can reestablish your relationship with this idea that you are creative, you get to be creative, and it is through your creativity that you can actually solve some problems. So let's go into this idea of thinking that you're really good at something. For me, I remember being in business school. It could have been maybe like the first week where I was in a group of, I think it was like four of us and we had an opportunity to review one another's resumes and I remember at this time. time before I became a career coach before I was, you know, also designated by the career development office at Tuck business school as a career coach of sorts. I knew that I was really good. Good at helping people promote their skills, their relationships, their abilities, their desires. And so I really stepped up. I remember being on a picnic table in Hanover. It was a sunny summer day, which is pretty unusual because it starts snowing. I think like the end of September in New Hampshire, but it was a beautiful sunny day and we were looking at one another's resumes and I just felt really good. I spoke. up. I had very strong opinions pertaining to ways that my peers should articulate their wins, their experiences. And to kind of quote Sheryl Sandberg, I was like totally leaning in to that experience. So that was something that I was clearly. Good at, and I felt like I could speak up then of course, for you, like there has to be maybe even in recent memory where there's something that you're really fricking  good at. And you may have had your own inner source of confidence to speak up, raise your hand, share your area of expertise. And it is in that spirit with that. Energy that I would love, love, love during this episode to remind you that you get to feel that way about your creativity and your sense of innovativeness. And you get to feel as much as a contributor to a creative challenge as anyone else on your team or in your surroundings. So I'll give you a chance to kind of, you know, really think through that moment when you felt super, super confident, and I will give you an opportunity to do so in a very mindful way, but I just want to caveat this. Right now, I am going to overtly ask you to become aware of a situation where you felt so confident. And as much as I would like to be almost like Jiminy Cricket in your back pocket and remind you how you do have these moments,  in regular life, this is challenging. And oftentimes, We forget. And so I would invite you even from like a career perspective. This is just like a pro tip here, but even from a career perspective, as tactically as your resume, make sure that you have at least one of a story or a moment that you just love to freaking tell related to something that you believe you're really good at and why might that be important because God knows You are nervous during a job interview. So I would encourage you, or even like a pitch, if you own a business. So I would encourage you to have that quote unquote Easter egg, at least one of them on your resume. So now let's just take a moment to reflect. So take an opportunity  to sit comfortably.  You might be on the floor.  You might be on a chair.  You might even lie down.  I encourage you to just take a chance to breathe in  and breathe out  and just be present  to think of one of those moments  when you were doing something because you knew  that you were really, really good at it.  I'll give you a moment to think this through  and keep breathing in.  Now, if you're new to meditating or considering this idea of taking a mindful pause and just focusing on the breath,  that was just a minute.  Now there's no competition. We're not going for some sort of endurance here, but I just want to share with you the short period of time  that it took for you to reflect mindfully.  about one of those moments when you did something that you felt you were good at.  And I say that because you can always return to a good memory  throughout the day  as you encounter moments that are a little harder to wrap your mind around.  Okay. So hold that moment in your pocket. Not so much like Jiminy Cricket, but please do hold that moment in your pocket  because  That moment symbolizes that there are so many things that you just don't bring to the top of your mind that serve as reminders of the skills and qualities that you bring to the table. And sometimes it's just hard to constantly recall those upon command. But as I showed you right now, you were able to do so just by returning. To your breath  now  as it relates to something that you may not feel as much confidence in  these thoughts are Really? What what we call fear based or fear driven  beliefs  and The insight here is  that they're not always true just because you think it  Just because you repeat it, just because other people think it and repeat it about you,  it doesn't necessarily mean that it's true  all the time in every instance.  Now,  constructive criticism is a wonderful thing. People say it's a gift, but I gotta be honest, I rather other things.  But net net,  the point I want to make here is that,  You can actually take a fear based or fear driven belief.  and reframe it or change it in a way that pulls you towards a desired goal.  And therein lies the practice of mindfulness in the simple awareness, almost like you're a Third person looking at a scene where you're giving yourself a little distance between the belief, the thought or emotion. And you're also opening up the opportunity for you to respond, instead of just knee jerk react, right?  And so let's play with this idea.  Let's imagine that in third grade, you had some sort of drawing that in your mind, you thought was some amazing Picasso, but in your teacher's mind, she just thought it was just not cool. I don't even have a bad thing. I want to say about a third graders drawing, but let's just imagine she didn't put it up on the hallways. So didn't get like the,  the attention that you would have hoped.  In her opinion, your art was not so wonderful. In your opinion, in that moment, you thought it was really beautiful.  And isn't it interesting? Because it is you who carries that thought. in your mind for a long time thereafter that moment.  And so, because you have your teacher's criticism or you have your own thoughts about how creative that drawing was,  that would have informed your idea of what it was to be creative. That would have informed your thinking around whether you were creative. And this could be something that has happened decades ago, but it's something that maybe you've heard.  on repeat in your mind from that single instance, right? And so I want to just offer you the opportunity. If you have a creative challenge upfront that you want to solve this week, I just want to invite you to give yourself the best fricking chance you could possibly give yourself and not count yourself out. Just because some third grade teacher said, Your artwork sucked. When it comes to creativity, I want to share with you this story. I was having lunch or some meal with one of my kids and my son was like, Creative? I'm not creative. When I think of creativity, I just think of paint brushes. And so I had that conversation with him and I said, Wait a minute.  You are so inquisitive, your questions are creative, like being curious and asking questions and piecing together different words, ending that statement with a question mark and having different responses and reaction to what you say is a freaking creative thing. And I say freaking because we don't use those words in my house. Point of the matter is this.  It was a reframe, right? So maybe, maybe it's true. Maybe my son is not creative from a arts and craft perspective.  But if you look at creativity and you open up your ability to interpret what it could mean, what it could look like, sound like, et cetera,  therein lies the ability to reframe  a consistent, persistent thought that you just imagined to be completely factual in every instance. So again, this is so normal, especially when it's a thought where you have been criticized, or it's like a warning, you know, like, don't go down hallway because you'll slip on a banana peel. I don't know. I made that up, right? And then you just think that all your life, there's always a banana peel down that hallway. Like these are just things that are open and available opportunities for you to question, open up in your mind's eye and reconsider if it is not serving you for the task at hand. And so that's why I wanted to just kind of open up this thought experiment, right? So here we go. Let's just imagine you were told you're not creative in the past. Let's just imagine really deep dive that this is something that's been persistent, like you've heard it from everyone around you, that you are not creative, you're not innovative, but here you are this week, maybe you have your own business and you need to solve a challenge creatively, because thinking linearly has not worked in the past. I think I have like a, I don't even know, maybe like 572 examples of that. I'll give you an example.  So let's just imagine you want to open up your lead flow. And what does that mean? That means that you want more people on the phone with you so that you can have these sales conversations. Linear thinking might be, okay, I'm going to start with, you know, ad spend. Whereas creative thinking might be, wait a minute, who else might have this audience? How can I collaborate with them such that they win, we win. Right. And so again, It's really about  almost like placing doubt in something that you feel is a no longer working for you because you have to solve this challenge as a business owner, or be something that you want to kind of like  disentangle. So that you can actually find out what the truth is of your reality. Like, are you creative? But maybe the situation has not been right for your flavor of creativity. Okay. So let's not get too far here because I see myself re imagining the whole episode, but I want to be sure that I take you to the meditation. So here we go. I want you to really think through.  today about how you could increase your awareness of your beliefs around being creative, innovative, a problem solver, so that you can mindfully see them for what they are, which is malleable, In the moment. So again, a strongly held belief that you may have had is one that might not hold truth in every scenario. It might no longer be serving you in today's episode, right? So for me, this idea of math, math is something that, you know, I could say, Oh, I've sucked that math. Do I have proof? I don't. Absolutely.  But might I also have proof that tells me a different story? And the answer to that is yes. Isn't that interesting? The only way for me to have, you know excelled in a mathematical school. Or mathematical pursuit, for example, back to business school on the topic of capital markets. The only way I was able to actually knock it out of the ballpark, this exam that I recall kind of  acing and feeling really confident and good about was because I was able to just almost for for that set of hours just totally mute the fact that one time I wasn't so good at math and this time I was able to be that person who always rises to a challenge, right? And so again, it's about just placing a little bit of doubt in this strongly held belief, because there might be a situation or a moment where  that belief is just totally, totally false. Now you can't bullshit yourself, like, I mean, I guess you could try, but I'm pretty sure you'll figure it out soon enough. But what you can do is at least get an inch or two closer to To a belief that takes you where you want to go. So let's go now and do a little bit of a meditation. And this meditation is going to be different than just, you know, sitting down with our thoughts and focusing on our breath, because what I have noticed is that. A lot of people assume that meditating means we have no thoughts. We're emptying everything that's in our mind and we're doing a bit of a mental cleanse. While that might be true because we have a ton going on in our minds, it's also an opportunity to just simply be that witness To the thoughts that are already in our head, but we might just not notice because we've got a lot of things going on. So that's what this is going to be. So I will guide you through a set of questions. We will go through one thought that you might have or believe is true pertaining to whether you're creative or innovative, and then we'll see where you come out on the other end. You ready for it?  Okie dokie. So let's do this.  Close your eyes,  assuming you're not driving,  and I want you to  just find a comfortable way to either be sitting,  standing, or lying down.  This is the interesting bit.  If your belief is that you need to sit for meditation, or that there's even a right way to meditate,  I'm literally going to show you that that is just a belief that might be right for you, but it doesn't always have to be the case.  All right.  So just  find a way for you to be comfortable  and we'll do a little bit of a body scan.  So imagine from the top of your head,  a sense of calmness pouring down your scalp.  And you're just breathing naturally.  Now imagine  your breath  clearing out any tension you may feel  from your forehead  down to your cheeks. Make sure your left cheek feels relaxed  and your right cheek.  Continue  allowing your breath pass through your neck  and feel the ease.  as best you can.  Continue along your upper back,  the breath going down,  just adding ease wherever it passes.  Down to your mid back,  then to your lower,  breathe out.  Notice your arms,  breathe through your left arm,  breathe in,  breathe through  your right arm. Again, Releasing any, any tension  as thoughts will find their way in and out. Just know that is totally.  normal.  Just breathe in,  then  sink into your seat further  and sink deeper.  I'm going to give you a couple of minutes  as you're relaxed as possible  with this ease  to answer this one question.  What thoughts pop up when you think about yourself as a creative being or innovative thinker?  Consider  One of those thoughts,  perhaps the one thought that feels the most defining  or the one thought that  might have been secretly holding you back through the years,  have that one  thought pertaining to creativity or innovation.  And whether you're capable of being creative or innovative in light of a challenge, hold that one thought, keep that one thought  in mind.  Now, silently to yourself, I invite you to ask yourself  a set of questions  all pertaining to that one  thought, that one limiting belief pertaining to whether you are creative or innovative.  The first question  said in two ways,  is it really true?  Might it be real, but not really, really true. Thank you.  as it relates to that one limiting belief pertaining to creativity.  I want to ask you, what is it like to live with this belief?  What has it been like to live with this belief?  In light of this limiting belief, I want to invite you to just notice how it feels in your body.  Notice  how your body and heart might be suffering with this belief inside  might help to think of an instance of when this belief got in your way  from a relaxed position. And then ask yourself silently,  what does the  vulnerable place inside of you  need right now in relation to how you feel? this belief feels,  how it's held you back.  And now as we're closing  this mindfulness practice,  who would you be without this belief? Who would you be  without this thought?  Who would you be this week without this belief or thought?  Would you be that person who assembles the team to solve the creative challenge?  Would you be able to solve this creative challenge On your own,  would you  be the perfect person,  maybe even the only person who can solve this challenge because  you're creative in just the right  way.  As we close this meditation, I just want to invite you to, to really soften your original belief.  Whatever that limiting belief  was,  place a little doubt in it  or swap it completely for one that  That you can hold. So again, it's not about BSing yourself,  but maybe it's  less declarative, less  fact sounding,  less  debilitating.  Maybe it's  just about opening up  who you get to be, like your identity and who you are.  I am  someone who's possible creativity. I am a problem solver. I can figure this out.  And just giving yourself some space so that you can play with an open heart so that when you approach the challenge this week,  there's no need to run away.  Instead,  you're able to explore with what actually is available to you. You're able to.  Try your hand at something you may have never  thought you could do, but maybe you realize that you're really freaking good at.  And so I invite you, if you have a piece of paper or journal, not that you needed to at this very moment, but if you do  just scribble some ideas. scribble some ideas of how you intend to approach this week's business challenge more creatively.  I know you can do it. And when it comes to mindfulness and when it comes to meditating, there's so many ways to approach it.  And I really think that  There's so many tools that do not require anyone other than yourself. And there's also so many different ways of using the tool of meditation and mindfulness. And this has been one that I have seen work really well when it comes to coaching clients in terms of their limiting beliefs. It's this idea that. By being that third party  awareness level of these thoughts and beliefs that we have passing through our minds,  it gives us an opportunity to start poking holes in some of these thoughts and beliefs that  are no longer serving us or holding us back or have us feeling like we're totally stuck. And so this week I invite you to be more.  intentional about whether or not everything that passes through your head is a fact and completely the law in terms of who you are.  And I invite you to be mindful and more open to the fact that  Your beliefs, your thoughts really influence your behaviors. So if you could imagine playing this out, if you get to a place where you believe that there are instances where you have been creative  and you look at this week's challenge with that fresh perspective and hope, then you're actually able to, and willing to, and will  behave in a different, a new way.  Versus  retreating, right? And not even raising your hand to solve that creative challenge because  you're just not creative.  So I hope this was helpful to you. I hope this serves you. I hope that it gives you an opportunity to just think about mindfulness and using the tool of meditation in a new way. It is not just about sitting down, feeling zen, and, you know, having all the negative Thoughts of the day wash out of your head. It can absolutely give you that extra sense of reality and a greater, more sophisticated level of presence so that you can be very intentional about how you use the thoughts, beliefs, and ideas that have crossed your mind or people  tell you. Because again,  A thought, a belief is not necessarily some sort of hard and steadfast  fact. It can actually be  malleable for the moment.  Have a wonderful day. If you got value out of this, I would absolutely love to hear from you. To hear from you right now. I'm super excited about email because I am on a social media break. I think I've been on one for weeks now. So go ahead and email me and put my email in the show notes. It's melissa. larinaatgmail.  com. And let me know if you got value out of this conversation. I would love to hear from you. And if there's a,  challenge or situation where you could use the presence or the ease or the thoughtfulness that introducing meditation in your life can provide, let me know. I'm happy to work with you as well. Thank you so much. 

When was the last time you actually looked forward to your commute? If you're facing a back-to-work mandate, chances are 'never' just crossed your mind. But what if your daily journey to the office could become more than dead time – what if it could become your secret weapon for better leadership? Today, we're turning the dreaded commute into an opportunity for mindful leadership, and I'll guide you through a meditation practice you can do with your eyes wide open, whether you're on a train, bus, or stuck in traffic. In this episode, we explore how leaders can transform their mandatory commute into a powerful mindfulness practice. Learn a practical, eyes-open meditation technique specifically designed for busy professionals navigating the return to office. You'll discover how to: Use your commute time as a leadership preparation tool Practice mindfulness safely while in transit Set powerful intentions for your workday Manage stress before walking into the office Transform a daily obligation into a meaningful practice Perfect for leaders and professionals dealing with back-to-work mandates, this meditation offers a fresh perspective on the daily commute. Whether you're a seasoned meditator or completely new to the practice, you'll find practical techniques to make your journey work for you, not against you. If this meditation resonated with you and you'd like to bring something similar to your team or company, I'd love to hear from you. I'm excited to be offering meditation and mindfulness solutions for stress and burnout, both remotely and in-person. Email me [melissa.llarena [at] gmail.com] to share what your company needs – whether it's regular guided sessions, workshops, or custom solutions for your unique challenges. Let's work together to create more mindful, resilient workplaces. About your host Melissa Llarena of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub podcast I'm a meditation practitioner and #1 Amazon bestselling author who has spent years peering into the minds of marketers and executives, both as one of them and as their trusted guide. My articles in ForbesWomen have reached over 4 million readers, but what really lights me up is the deep work I do with people who, like me, have spent years shape-shifting to succeed. My own journey through the corporate world – 10 years at powerhouses like Ogilvy (working on IBM) and P&G (yes, even Charmin!) – taught me firsthand about wearing different hats across 14+ business functions. For the past 13 years, I've had the privilege of coaching over 200 marketing and advertising executives worldwide, having raw, honest conversations about what it really costs us to morph ourselves every single day. When I'm hosting the Mom Founder Imagination Hub podcast, I get to dive deep with remarkable leaders like Beth Comstock and GaryVee, exploring how to tap into our most overlooked superpower: imagination. My psychology degree from NYU, Dartmouth MBA, and Transformational Coaching certification gave me the foundation, but it was the pandemic that showed me – and my clients – that we needed something more. In 2021, when ambition felt impossible and imagination seemed out of reach, I realized we were all exhausted from trying to power through. That's when I took a leap – pausing my coaching practice to write a book filled with soul-searching questions, while earning my meditation certification from the Jack Kornfield organization. Now, I blend all these pieces – my corporate insider experience, thousands of honest conversations, and meditation wisdom – into workshops, sessions, and immersions that truly connect. Using imaginative meditation, mindfulness practices that even the most restless executives love, and revealing journaling exercises, I help people find their way back to themselves. Because here's what I know: when we stop losing ourselves every time life or business throws us a curveball, we can finally use our energy for what really matters – creating the impact we're meant to make. TRANSCRIPT: Welcome to the era of returning to work on-site.  In this moment, I invite you to be gentle with yourself as you navigate this significant change. Your feelings about this transition - whether excitement, reluctance, or a mix of both - are all valid.  I want to give you an opportunity to breathe while entering your next tunnel... or at a bare minimum, not to take it out on your team once you get out.  Brace for this change in how you move, work, and problem-solve the logistics of no longer being at home. Pre-plan how you intend to use this time in between spaces. Give yourself a chance to reimagine the purpose of your daily commute. Feel the weight of your body where you sit or stand. Notice the points of contact with your seat or the floor. This awareness can be your anchor throughout your journey. While living in Sydney, I would ride a double-decker over the Harbour Bridge, and it was then that I decided to use my travel time to be my me time... the me time that I didn't always have. I gave myself a 30-day meditation challenge that sparked this need to get in my meditating whenever I could, and that's when necessity became the mother of my mindful invention.  This was when I started meditating with my eyes open. If you've never thought about sitting still, focusing on your breath, and keeping your eyes with a slight open gaze, then consider this. Whilst thinking about you, should you be closing your eyes on a mode of transit in a big city? Heck, no! Is it wise to close your eyes while driving? Clearly not.    However, closing your eyes is not the only way to bring a more mindful approach to your daily commute. There are other ways to use this time for yourself, for your pursuits, for your mental health. I want to invite you to meditate with me as you head to or from work. I want to invite you to change your perspective, especially these early days of embarking on a daily commute. Begin with an intention for the workday.... the reality is that as a species we tend to react. React to workplace BS. React to changes in our patterns. React to neighboring commuters. React based on our environment.    It is here and now that I invite you to bring intentionality to today. Think about your intention for today.... Do you intend to be a better listener than you were yesterday... asking follow-up questions to gain a deeper understanding of situations?   Do you intend to give people the benefit of the doubt.... be more cognizant that everyone has their own struggles? Do you intend to bring more certainty into a room or team setting... so that employees feel more secure in their jobs despite what the news might be featuring? Do you intend to bring compassion to yourself and others as everyone adjusts to this change?   Do you intend to notice moments of connection with others, even in passing? Take the deepest breath you can.... In/out [Pause 2 seconds] In/out [Pause 2 seconds] In/out [Pause 2 seconds] Often we take the pace of the environments in which we find ourselves.... if you are in an urban center.... you'll quicken your walking speed or talking speed.... if you are in a more laid-back setting you may catch yourself adjusting....    As you breathe in and out... simply notice that you can adjust your pace to suit your needs.... your bus or train may be going at 30 mph, 80 mph, or at a standstill... it's of no consequence to you nor to your breath... just take it in and let it out. Now there is no right nor wrong way of meditating... it's a practice.... it's not about forgetting.... it's about returning.... so you are going and you get to return and in that shift you are performing your own little act of rebellion.    Your mind wants to go here, there, everywhere, and you gently return to your breath... your breath is your home. Keep breathing in and out...   Notice what thoughts capture your attention and just return to the breath...   It's not so impressive to meditate in a silent room on a meditation pillow by yourself.... it's more impressive to meditate in a loud space on a hard bench or whilst standing in a space that requires more of you to choose your breath. Take a moment to visualize your day ahead. Perhaps there's a challenging conversation or an important meeting waiting for you. With each breath, imagine yourself moving through these moments with clarity and presence.    When you arrive at work, try taking three conscious breaths before entering each meeting – a micro-practice to center yourself in the present moment. Commuting is the ultimate practice... in my opinion.... It's not easy to find a comfortable way of being at times It's not easy to demand quiet It's not easy to breathe sometimes It can be said that the same is true in like to respond in a world that is persistently seeking a reaction As you stay put, remind yourself that you get to be intentional with how you use this time. Remind yourself of the pace of your breath. Use this time to plan your response. Give yourself a chance to live out your brand of leadership in a way that encourages your team to do the same. As you get ready to complete this meditation, remember that this commute isn't just taking you to work - it's taking you to people who count on your presence and leadership. Each breath can help you show up as the leader you aspire to be.   I invite you to begin to move your toes and fingers at your pace. Truly give yourself an opportunity to use this time to mindfully approach the people and business challenges that will arise, and know that you can always return to your breath as a reliable reminder to whatever intention you set out for yourself today.   And on your journey home, let each breath help you process and release the day's events, creating space between your work life and your home life. Sending you composure today... If this meditation resonated with you and you'd like to bring something similar to your team or company, I'd love to hear from you. I'm excited to be offering meditation and mindfulness solutions for stress and burnout, both remotely and in-person. Email me [melissa.llarena [at] gmail.com to share what your company needs – whether it's regular guided sessions, workshops, or custom solutions for your unique challenges. Let's work together to create more mindful, resilient workplaces.

In this heartfelt podcast, a mom (Melissa Llarena your host and mom of three) shares the raw, beautiful reality of holiday preparation. From a hilarious Target shopping adventure with her three sons to a powerful love letter recognizing the invisible labor of mothers during the holiday season, this episode is a must-listen for every mom navigating the magic and chaos of Christmas. Key Highlights: A unique approach to gift-giving after revealing the truth about Santa Comedic tale of shopping with three sons and avoiding potential "holiday shoplifting" Intimate look at the emotional and logistical challenges of motherhood during the holidays What You'll Hear: The story behind teaching kids about thoughtful gift-giving A moving tribute to moms who create Christmas magic Raw, honest moments of holiday preparation and emotional complexity Memorable Quotes: "Jail time for the holidays is not on my Santa wish list" "We can all use some encouragement" "Dear Santa, you are the magic during Christmas" Call to Action: Share this episode with a mom who needs to feel seen and appreciated this holiday season.

Reflecting on Success: How to Dream Bigger with Fertile Imagination   In episode 259 of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub, host Melissa Llarena reflects on personal growth, sharing a powerful quote by former pro volleyball player Gabby Reece: 'Never let your successes be bigger than your dreams.' She draws from personal anecdotes and her book, 'Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact,' to inspire moms to dream bigger and leverage their imagination. Shop the book this holiday season using this LINK: https://bit.ly/fertilebook   Melissa reads the introduction to her book, highlighting the importance of energy, enthusiasm, and imagination in achieving greater dreams, and encourages listeners to reflect on their past successes and envision even bigger goals for 2025.   00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 02:17 Reflecting on Success and Effort 05:47 Pursuing Bigger Dreams 09:05 Introduction to 'Fertile Imagination' 10:07 Reading the Book Introduction 15:03 Stages of Rediscovering Imagination 25:06 Final Thoughts and Encouragement Want to be a guest of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub podcast?  Sign-up HERE to get on the list if you are interested in bringing your story, insights, or wisdom to the podcast. Or, use this link if you prefer (both go to the same place): https://witty-thinker-2643.kit.com/ba49a6d870 – I cannot guarantee that you'll be a guest however I do refer to this list every quarter to determine who would be a good fit. Share this episode with one female leader today who wants to dream bigger than her successes and needs to find her own way to gather the energy necessary in 2025 to do exactly this! About Melissa Llarena Melissa is a bestselling author (learn more on www.fertileideas.com), imagination coach behind the Fertile Imagination to Networking Success Group Coaching Program, consultant, speaker, contributor to ForbesWomen articles that have garnered 4 million-plus views, and the podcast host of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub. Featured guests include GaryVee, Beth Comstock, Suzy Batiz, David Meltzer, and hundreds of other unconventional thinkers. Melissa has been featured in the WSJ, Business Insider, Fox Business, CNN Money, The Huffington Post, and other publications. She holds a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate and is training to become a meditation practitioner. Melissa lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and three sons (one singleton and a set of identical twins). Connect with Melissa: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissallarena/ Supporting Resources: Email Melissa: melissa.llarena [at] gmail.com Podcast: Mom Founder Imagination Hub: https://www.melissallarena.com/podcast/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissallarena/ Or, grab for free your copy of the “From Contact to Connection: The Mompreneur's Go-First Networking & Follow Up Playbook”: https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/21e52edb87  Transcript   Welcome to episode  259 of the mom founder imagination hub. This is your host, Melissa Lorena. So today's episode is really a reflection on a quote, a life update, and a reading of the introduction of my book, fertile imagination. I think as we draw near to the 1st of January in a month, I wanted to just kind of do a little bit of self reflection because I Do not even believe in January one goals and resolutions. Instead, I believe in making a decision today. Now this moment, even if everything doesn't seem comfy. So I was listening this weekend to a podcast by Gabby Reese, who clearly is very, very like myself. She's over six feet tall. She was a supermodel in her heyday. She's an. Athlete, volleyball pro player, you know, kind of like the opposite of who I was and who I am. I am like five feet tall, last kid to be picked at the gym for any team sport and athlete and pro is not in my vernacular, but I do like the word vernacular. So I was a bit more of a, um, cerebral entity, I guess you could say.  And when I was listening to her podcast, which is really about, you know, making sure that you're optimizing for your health, when you are either a perimenopausal, menopausal, et cetera, I really grabbed onto a quote that she said, she actually says over and over in her house. And by the way, her house is not just like Gabby Reese and some random. guy and three girls. No, her house is Gabby Reese, pro volleyball player and layered Hamilton because he is an ultra surfer, extreme athlete himself. And I'm sure probably towering over Gabby Reese. So, all right, let's get to the quote that is constantly articulated in their home.  Never let your successes be bigger than your dreams. When Gabby Reese shared that, I really swallowed quite hard because I thought to myself, the amount of fricking effort that I have had to put in order to make my successes Come true  have been fricking extraordinary. And you probably feel the same way. If you are into success, accomplishing, having some source of significance. So in my mind, I. Immediately went to, as an example, pursuing business school. Now I was not, am not, and will never be a quant person. I'm not into like math Excel. I think if you've been around for a little bit on this podcast, you know, that I have a disdain for Microsoft Excel. Um, but you know, whatever I honor those who use it. The whole point is I think I had like five or six cavities in my business school experience because of the number of granola bars that I was chewing on in order to get through working through all of that quant work in such a competitive environment. I certainly gained weight because that's what happens when you're just Eating granola bars, but then on top of that, like it was extraordinary of the effort that I had to put forth in order to complete my degree. And I had to complete my degree. I didn't see this as a nice to have, could I stretch it, et cetera, et cetera. No, I was on a scholarship and like, I needed to fix what I had kind of created, which was this desire and need to fix Feel more fully baked and get my degree. All of that to say, I was like, Holy cow. I didn't have three kids back then. And that was a shit ton of effort. So here's Gabby Reese saying never let your successes be bigger than your dreams.  Wow.  I literally have my book right next to me and I'm thinking to myself, holy mother of guacamole. It took two years for me to write fertile imagination, a guide for stretching every mom's superpower for maximum impact. I would say that is my more recent success. It took two years and it's so interesting because I started it in Australia while we were there for about three and a half years and finished it here in Austin, Texas. And I will say that if getting my business school degree, um, resulted in five to six cavities, trust me, my dentist can certainly show you the receipts for that. Then getting my book definitely done as a self. Published author from the beginning to the end that actually led me to the eye doctor, physical therapist, and God knows what else I had to go through in order to fix what I had to do. Sort of created, which was some issues because I was looking at the screen for way too long at the tail end, trying to finish my book with copy editing, um, being kind of put up against the wall to figure out what needed to get done as soon as possible within a short period of time and in a very unpredictable way. So, okay. It seems to me that for me personally, I don't know about for yourself and you might want to really give this a thought, but like for you, like think about your very last success, like for real, think about the amount of effort that it took in order for you to accomplish that success. Okay. Take a big, deep breath. Now, Can you imagine something that is bigger to pursue or to become in 2025? And right now I'm recording this on December two, and I wanted to just be mindful of the fact that I get that January one is that time and we're like, Oh, all of a sudden I never was, but I can actually become this person on January two, but I want you to just. Think through your prior successes. I really want you to dig deep and really figure out for yourself, what did it take? What sacrifices did you have to make? What is it that you had to say no to in order to say yes to your self and your ambitions? And here's what I know to be true with regards to any success I have had.  The unfortunate thing is that the world doesn't stop when I, all of a sudden, write down a goal. Instead, the world keeps worlding, for lack of a better word choice, and basically stuff happens in your favor and some stuff happens in a way that makes your goals harder to achieve. And the idea is you have to keep going, no matter what, whether you're in that up or you're in that down. So now as you consider the fact that your successes have to be, um, smaller than your dreams. Oh my gosh. So. Like where's this extra effort and energy going to come from? Like, that's a question I ask myself all the time because yeah, I'm a morning person this morning. I was singing from West side story. I feel pretty because I was just feeling happy today, but, but I know for a fact, when it comes down to executing on some of my ambitions, like. It's not glamorous. Like right now I was like, okay, let me create a landing page. Holy cow. Now I have to go onto this platform and relearn it because I did not have a landing page done in some time. And that is where you get some sort of resistance, right? That's where you kind of feel like, ah, crap, this dream doesn't feel so exciting anymore. Anyway. So I want to leave you with this thought. Because I want this to be brief. So my book, fertile imagination, the entire concept is about figuring out where you are going to find that energy, where you are going to get that life force, where you are going to get that spirit, that enthusiasm, that excitement to actually execute on your dreams, which as Gabby Reese said, should be bigger than your successes. And it's like, holy cow, maybe Maybe it's just these like, you know, strivers in us that kind of intimidate ourselves. But man, if I have to have more energy than I've had in the past, I feel like I myself need to reread what I wrote in my book, fertile imagination. And so I want to leave you with that. I'm going to go ahead.  and read to you the introduction of my book, fertile imagination in the show notes, you can absolutely purchase your copy for yourself or a friend. Here's that link in case you're not looking at your device. It's B I T dot L Y. forward slash fertile book and you could go ahead and purchase a copy of fertile imagination right there that'll be in the show notes again it's it's a bitly link so bit. ly forward slash fertile book  but right now i want to just read this to us i want to read this to us because this is a A really great starting point. If your  dreams have to be bigger than your successes and you're trying to figure out how the heck you're going to get the energy, enthusiasm and motivation to execute on these dreams in 2025. So here we go. Just think about this, like reading rainbow, but you know, I'm not LeVar. So here we go. Lessons in an imagination superpower from my podcast guests and me. And this is again, just the introduction. So I do invite you to purchase the book fertile imagination. The link will be in the show notes. It's also on Amazon as well. Whoever thought mom jeans would be in style again, you know, the ones They seem to rise up to your armpits when I see them on young childless girls. I squint to see if I can imagine them looking remotely cool on me. My Puerto Rican ass would fill the entire real estate of their extra long height from crotch to above my navel area. I'm not yet convinced this will look flattering. Can I pull it off? My waist is small, especially for someone who has three kids. I'm still curious if I could make mom jeans look un mom like.  I just never imagined that moms could set trends for anyone without kids. I have filled the past 11 years with a mental game to see how un mom like and sometimes un Melissa like I can design my life. I wanted to reframe what I'd seen or been told a mom should do. What about all of the other identities I had before becoming a parent? Was I relegated to burying them along with my, my placenta back in 2011? By the way, that was a powerful placenta. I had identical twins in 2013 and they were sharing one placenta.  This is the thing.  My  so funny. I go ahead and I decided to skip my  desire to not act like a mom is making for a magnificent life. It's enhanced my family's experiences and expanded what they think is possible too. As I reflect on the crazy things I've done and continue to do, I'm feeling kind of confident that perhaps I can work it in mom jeans, even if it's only in my imagination, seemingly mine has gotten quite. Fertile, a sense of wonder, access to wisdom, limitless energy, a willingness to dream and a playful spirit culminating in bursts of daily fulfillment. This book, fertile imagination is for moms who want them back. Maybe it's been a while since you felt like you were back. bursting out of your skin with hope and expectancy with your own ambitions. If this is the case, then I have great news for you. You are in the right place. This book is for moms who refuse to buy into the BS that being a mom means stomping on their personal ambitions, unless they are directly tied to the happiness of their kids. Once you relied on your dreams and big ambitions to feel alive, your dreams may have been your life. Force. Heck, your dreams may have made you bounce out of bed without an alarm clock. This book is for you. If you feel you have lost the greatest parts of your before kids life,  if this is where you are today, then I want to help you transform from feeling limited by your inherited motherhood scripts, quote unquote, to being excited and thrilled by life. Imagine feeling as Jack up in a good way for yourself as you do when your least athletic kid scores a goal at soccer one glorious Saturday.  You deserve to feel that wide eyed, hopeful, and tickled hot pink about the possibilities. This is the book I needed when I paired motherhood with entrepreneurship 11 years ago. I think it's been 13 now. In my case, I was so desperate to hang on. My pre mom dreams and desires that I determinedly set out to discover what I could do, even if that meant bringing my kid squarely attached to my nipple to a prospective client meeting. I'll save that story for later. I'm convinced moms may have just misplaced these things along with their house keys. Chances are you can find them by retracing your steps. The best way to achieve this is to engage an imagination, your own, the ones around you. Or your kids  in new, unexpected, yet practical ways, ways that fit for us moms, whose minds are full of internal dialogue and need a spark to untangle what matters most. Since 2011, as a coach to many moms, untangling what matters most has meant helping them decipher decipher what other people expected of them and what they really wanted for themselves. Once this knot is smoothed out. It becomes possible for my clients to focus on best how best to use their distinguishable gifts for maximum impact.  This clarity inspires my clients to then share their ideas with other people. As I reflected on the specific ways that worked for me, along with the key lessons I tailored into my life, I uncovered my signature method of coaching, both myself and others, my imagination to impact method, which includes three stages into which I've divided this book. You can follow them sequentially or skip ahead. Let's walk through the three stages to rediscover and fuel your imagination. Quick Pause. The reason why I wanted to read the introduction of my book right now is because when I heard Gabby Reese say that quote, never let your successes be bigger than your dreams. And I noticed the gap of like, how the heck am I going to get the energy to dream bigger than my prior successes?  This is the first idea I had. I was like, you know what?  I wrote about this in fertile imagination and fertile imagination itself. The book is one of my greatest successes personally, as someone who struggled with writing early on. So again, I just want to invite you to truly, truly, truly reflect on your successes, but that I want you to feel like you have a tool, your fertile imagination to help you dream Even fricking bigger in 2025. So let's get cracking. Let's get through the three stages that you need to rediscover and feel your fertile imagination, because you know what your fertile imagination is your superpower, dear mama, it absolutely is. And it's mine as well. And this is a reminder to myself too. So here we go. A fertile imagination can cast a powerful and compelling vision that will drive you to turn it into your reality, even if it's never been imagined as possible for mothers before. It produces fertile ideas whose impact can transcend generations. This superpower is versatile. It has revitalized flat out tired moms to enable them to tandem nurse twins for one year. Yeah, that was me. It has come up with unexpected strategies that have helped creative entrepreneurs bounce back, and it has helped generate visionary ideas to sustain the pace necessary to lead massive global efforts. The route to your fertile imagination can be found by First, focusing on ways to reawaken your imagination, which takes building awareness of why it's been missing or more like hibernating along with why it might not want to wake up. If fertile imagination requires a favorable environment to sprout its best ideas, you'll want to set your internal environment in particular  for the greatest benefit. possible harvest.  Second, once you've revived your original playdate, your fertile imagination, you will want to play with your imagination. You'll have ample opportunities to engage it, it in novel and unexpected ways to uncover what you'd like to experience more of in your life. The key is to plant several seeds in the best environment possible to see which show signs of the greatest growth. In this case, growth includes feeling positive emotions, including excitement and presence, essentially experiencing what your kids feel when they are playing. You know, what's really interesting as I'm reading this, I'm like, holy cow, this is biblical, A, B, and it's aligned with some frameworks that I am playing with right now.  Anyways, I digress. The third stage is to stretch your imagination. And here's what I know to be true. So I'm kind of getting outside of this copy, but what I know to be true is that as a mom, you might feel stretched from a mental bandwidth perspective. That is not at all what I'm doing, but I am playing with that concept. When I say stretch your imagination, what I'm saying here is that kind of like silly putty. Like I want you to really stretch it out and help it almost take new shapes. And the way to do that is by sharing your ideas with other people in that way. You can absolutely reshape whatever idea you might have to make it fit. Some sort of greater purpose and really help you create a maximum impact. And this is what it takes to stretch your imagination. This takes learning how to creatively gather the support of others so that you can make the biggest possible difference with your ideas. Imagine making a bigger mark on the world than you ever thought possible.  Let's go back to Gabby Reese's quote. Never let your successes be bigger than your dreams. There are seasons of motherhood.  Amen, sister. You may feel as if you've fallen behind your ambitions during busy ones. This is why it's important to find ways or get tools so you can sprint toward your dreams during the steadier mom life moments. And I want you to really think that through because  Right now, you know, they, they coined December, Maycember, and it's really busy right now for moms. So this might not be your moment, but maybe when the kids go back to school in 2025, maybe that is the right time. Now your fertile imagination to get back into the introduction has its best shot at impacting future generations. If you commit to experiencing all three stages to maximize your own impact. You want your kids to achieve greatness on their terms. The best path is to learn how to use your photo imagination to achieve greatness on your terms. First,  want to see what that looks like  within each stage to help you tap into the power of your imagination. I'm going to share some stories with you. You can expect to hear about my outrageous adventures, the result of unleashing my imagination and going for it. Some are the opposite of anyone's expectations of a mom with three school age boys. I've also included surprising stories from my podcast. I have been producing mom founder imagination hub since 2017. It's a place where I. I'm going to explore with my guests, a whole range of wellbeing topics aimed at supporting entrepreneurial moms who want to get more out of life. I have interviewed incredible people whose adventures and achievements were enabled by their chutzpah and very fertile imaginations. I'm going to tell you more about how I started my podcast as you read on, but as expected or as unexpected as it may sound, I believe. I believe us moms can learn a lot about achieving personal fulfillment and happiness from people who are not moms, not from our country of origin, outside of our socioeconomic group and completely unfamiliar with our situation. I'm never going to suggest that non moms, that non moms get a say on how you should be a mom. My intention behind including non moms is to challenge you to set aside the baggage that came with taking on your mom identity and talk about.  How to go to the edges of what is possible. The idea is for you to get buck naked. It should be okay for a mom to step away from the expectations of society, culture, and conventional thinking. I want to help you have the best shot at teaching your fullest or reaching your fullest capacity on this planet.  Whew,  we're almost there, my beautiful listeners. Some of my personal accomplishments since becoming a mom were never on my menu of options based on what I was told. If I'm being honest, which I don't even know why I wrote that because I don't like that phrase. I've done some things that may be found on the kids menu. And that is true. You may never want to emulate some of my podcast guests and become a New York Times bestselling children's illustrator or make the Forbes list of self made female millionaires, but their stories will inspire you if you let them. I wanted to just add that a thorough imagination is a resource. You will see how others have harnessed its power. As a mom, can't you use all the resources you can get? I can. I have curated these stories because I am able to relate to them. I learned from them. And if you keep an open mind, I promise you will too. None are telling you how to mother. Instead, you will see a fuller picture of how people are finding their own way. own fulfillment and happiness in their lives. The only tool you'll need is your superpower, your fertile imagination. The permission I'm gifting you is this. Use it to propel you towards your dreams. You will uncover why as a mom, you should give yourself the permission to use a superpower. You can jump into any chapter that you might need at the moment. So I'm talking about my book and the way that it's organized and how you do not have to read it end to end. This book was written for moms who can appreciate that reading an entire book in one uninterrupted, cozy sitting is as rare as finding two 100 sheet, wide ruled, red covered composition notebooks at Walmart in New York. A week before school begins. If you're having a I can't go to the bathroom without company kind of day then just read some journal questions to get your engines going. Meditate on them even if you don't have the time to read the chapter. You can also download the imagination warm ups i. e. journal prompts right here fertileideas. com. The idea is this, just like those crystals you can buy at stores when you look at my chapters see if anyone calls to your attention. Start there. You truly can choose your own adventure. I trust that you will know what you need when you need it and be able to make this wisdom your own. However, if you're a nerd like me, then read it sequentially,  meditate and journal using the questions at the end of each chapter, then take a dive in, then take a dive, implement that chapter's one key idea consistently for one week. You might be an active reader like me.  Break out the highlighters and stickers make it a thing in my life The ideas in this book lifted me another mom up and they can do the same for you It's time to use your fertile imagination to really make a difference Back to the quote never let your successes be bigger than your dreams. I am so excited for whatever is going to  Open up for you This upcoming year, I wanted to just have this episode to be about you, your dreams, and really reflecting on your last three greatest successes. Because guess what? That is the bar that you set for yourself, and it's time to jump Higher. Thank you. So go ahead to the show notes, wherever you're listening to this on this device and go ahead and shop the book, fertile imagination, a guide for stretching every mom's superpower for maximum impact. Thank you so much for my listeners. And again, if you have any questions whatsoever, I'm going to put my email address in the show notes as well.  If you are open or interested in being a guest on this podcast, I do accept guests. Absolutely. Go ahead to the URL where you'll see an opportunity to add your name to the wait list. And yeah, you are amazing. And Hey, what are you going to dream in 2025? Definitely. Let me know. Again, my email will be in the show notes.

 Are you a people-pleaser who struggles to say “no” without that lingering guilt? Get ready to meet Suzanne Culberg, "The Nope Coach," who's here to help you set boundaries and reclaim your time with confidence! In this conversation, she dives into her bold journey of starting a podcast and the adventure of recording 100 episodes in 100 days. Spoiler: it's no easy task! Suzanne shares her refreshingly honest approach to content creation, recording straight from Zoom without worrying about fancy editing or scripts. If you're feeling uninspired in your business or struggling with burnout, this episode is a fun reminder to stay authentic, let go of perfection, and bring more “you” into everything you create!   In this episode, you will hear: The term "business period" to describe cycles of self-doubt and reevaluation in business. Setting firm boundaries and saying no without guilt can prevent burnout and focus on their goals. How Suzanne's informal, unscripted approach helped her connect more authentically with her audience. The value of experimenting in business without overthinking or perfecting. Prioritizing action over perfectionism empowers entrepreneurs to share their ideas and develop essential skills.  

Melissa Llarena is a bestselling author, imagination coach behind the Fertile Imagination to Networking Success Group Coaching Program, consultant, speaker, and contributor to ForbesWomen articles that have garnered over 4 million views. She is also the podcast host of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub, featuring guests like GaryVee, Beth Comstock, Suzy Batiz, David Meltzer, and hundreds of other unconventional thinkers. Melissa has been featured in the WSJ, Business Insider, Fox Business, CNN Money, The Huffington Post, and other publications. Melissa holds a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate, and is training to become a meditation practitioner. Melissa resides in Austin, Texas, with her husband and three sons (one singleton and a set of identical twins). Key Moments [03:54] Coaches busy moms in entrepreneurship, manages motherhood. [07:32] Energy is essential for ideas to succeed. [11:56] Helping individuals communicate and sell their worth. [14:01] Queens accent readied me for motherhood. [18:07] Podcast sharing health scare, recovery inspiration story. [20:12] Boss suspects job hunting due to poor performance. [24:16] Embrace global diversity; learn from shared challenges. Find Melissa Online https://www.fertileideas.com Shop the book: https://bit.ly/fertilebook https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mom-founder-imagination-hub/id1308269140 https://open.spotify.com/show/46kFcz6gZSy4oYnCXBAr85 https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissallarena/ https://bit.ly/imagineaplan If you're enjoying Entrepreneur's Enigma, please give us a review on the podcast directory of your choice. We're on all of them and these reviews really help others find the show. GoodPods: https://gmwd.us/goodpods iTunes: https://gmwd.us/itunes Podchaser: https://gmwd.us/podchaser Also, if you're getting value from the show and want to buy me a coffee, go to the show notes to get the link to get me a coffee to keep me awake, while I work on bringing you more great episodes to your ears. →  https://gmwd.us/buy-me-a-coffee Follow Seth Online: Seth | Digital Marketer (@s3th.me) • Instagram: Instagram.com/s3th.me Seth Goldstein | LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/sethmgoldstein Seth On Mastodon: https://socl.bz/@seth Seth's Marketing Junto Newsletter: https://MarketingJunto.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Imagine a mom who decided to have her child a bit later in life. She's built a career, a life she's proud of, and now, with her child in the picture, her priorities have shifted to focus on being there for the long haul. She's not just aiming to add years to her life but to feel energized and healthy—able to show up fully for her family and her business, now and for years to come. But there's one hurdle that keeps her from living that vision: sleep. Almost every night, she lies awake, thinking about her family's future, overanalyzing the day, running through endless lists, and planning for what's next. And despite her best intentions, these sleepless nights leave her feeling drained, worn down, and struggling to keep up with the demands of her day. Sound familiar? It's a story that so many of us can relate to—feeling constantly pulled between doing more, being there for everyone, and somehow still running on empty. In today's minisode of my podcast, I talk about how this pattern of sleeplessness can become a serious health concern and how one mom fixed this concern real-time by attending one of my free offerings this last summer so that you can too!  Why am I releasing these minisodes? Over the last 13 years, I've found that my highest-performing clients are those who prioritize their health. They understand that to imagine their best lives or careers, they first need a limitless source of energy—and that energy reserve comes from focusing on four key pillars: nutrition, exercise, sleep, and emotional well-being. This realization inspired me to create these minisodes, each packed with ideas to support you as a leader, whether in the office or at home. And because I know that taking an honest look at where we stand is easier with someone fearless about accountability, I'm offering you, my podcast listener, a free 30-minute energy audit. There's no catch, no sales pitch—just a chance to help you assess where you are and how to boost your energy. Take advantage of this opportunity to see what this podcast can do for you, and let's work together to support the life you imagine. Sign-up by 11/15 - https://www.melissallarena.com/sessions/ In a free, 30-minute Energy Audit session, I'll help you uncover exactly where you're losing energy and how small, strategic adjustments in areas like nutrition, exercise, emotions, and sleep can make a meaningful difference. Imagine how it would feel to: Sleep restfully, waking up ready to face the day Run your business with focus and clarity Be present and energized with your family This isn't about a full lifestyle overhaul but about finding sustainable solutions that work for you and your lifestyle. If you're ready to understand your unique energy needs and make shifts that last, click here to book your free session  https://www.melissallarena.com/sessions/ Looking forward to helping you reclaim your energy! -Melissa Llarena

Melissa Llarena joins Dr. Saundra on this episode and shares how a fertile imagination is a mom's superpower. Check out Melissa's FREE From Contact to Connection Networking Playbook. Get your copy of Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact. I Choose My Best Life Podcast is one of the  Top 20 Christian Women Podcasts I Choose My Best Life Books: Colorful Connections, Sacred Rest, Come Empty, Set Free to Live Free Connect with Saundra: Twitter: @DrDaltonSmith Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drdaltonsmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrSaundraDaltonSmith

You ever notice how things you experienced as a kid turned out to be key components of how you show up as a woman in your business?God uses ALL. OF. IT.Discover 3 things to consider determining whether it is time for you to pivot in your business with my professional podcasting guest, Melissa Llarena, with my incredibly gifted grandson James helping me out in the intro.

Suzanne and Melissa uncover the secrets to effective networking for busy mothers and the power of persistence. Melissa emphasises the value of direct outreach, recognising self-worth, and shares her journey of connecting with prominent figures like Lisa Messenger. Hear inspiring stories of overcoming fears, balancing life with three kids, and the relentless pursuit of goals, including interviews with Gary Vaynerchuk and James Altucher. Learn how to leverage Mum skills in business, manage energy with practical tools, and thrive without traditional networking tactics. This episode is packed with empowering insights and actionable tips for personal and professional growth. In this episode Suzanne and Melissa discuss: Persistence in Networking Commitment Through Adversity The Value of Transferable Skills Networking Tips and Resources Find out more about Melissa here: https://bit.ly/imagineaplan Find out more about Suzanne here: https://www.suzanneculberg.com Enjoy my podcast? You'll love my emails, sign up here: https://www.suzanneculberg.com/newsletter A simple way to make my day – please subscribe to my YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/@suzanneculberg?sub_confirmation=1 The Nope coach Suzanne Culberg teaches you how to put yourself first without feeling selfish, by setting healthy boundaries and reclaiming the unapologetic badass you long to be. Contact Suzanne here: https://www.suzanneculberg.com/contact Want to be a guest on The Nope Coach? Send Suzanne Culberg a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/thenopecoach

In this episode, host Avik Chakraborty speaks with Melissa Llarena, author of Fertile Imagination and creator of fertileideas.com. Melissa shares her journey of rediscovering her imagination, initially cultivated in childhood, and its impact on her life and business. She discusses how parents and professionals alike can reawaken their imagination through mindfulness, stillness, and creativity, offering practical strategies to expand one's thinking. The conversation explores how imagination is vital for problem-solving and innovation in leadership roles, especially in a fast-evolving world. About the Guest: Melissa Llarena is an author, speaker, and imagination expert, with her latest book Fertile Imagination guiding readers on how to rediscover and cultivate their creative potential. Growing up in Queens, New York, Melissa honed her ability to think beyond her immediate surroundings. Now, as a mother and entrepreneur, she helps others stretch their imagination and use it as a tool for success. Through her website and coaching, Melissa empowers people to unlock new possibilities in their personal and professional lives. Key Takeaways: Reawakening Your Imagination: Melissa emphasizes the importance of mindfulness, stillness, and reflection to reawaken the imagination, especially for parents and busy professionals. The Role of Play in Creativity: Engaging in playful activities, such as storytelling or performance classes, can help expand one's creative thinking and lead to personal fulfillment. Imagination in Leadership: Leaders can tap into their imagination to think outside the box and approach challenges with innovative solutions, as demonstrated by high-level executives like Beth Comstock. Mindfulness Practices: Implementing regular mindfulness practices and journaling can help create the mental space necessary for creative ideas to emerge and thrive. Stretching Your Ideas: Sharing and collaborating with others can help grow and refine imaginative ideas, amplifying their potential impact. Special offer From Melissa - bit.ly/imagineaplan (Freebie) Get her free anti-burnout 30-day networking resource for mompreneurs! This mom-friendly planner links your vision to daily actions, helping you stay focused and energized as you build profitable relationships. Set yourself up for a successful year and an even bigger one ahead! It also sees to it that you replenish your energy to prevent burnout. ($97 value, helps avoid a $2,400 trip to the ER from exhaustion)   Want to be a guest on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life? DM on PM - Send me a message on PodMatch, * DM Me Here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/avik  * Subscribe To Newsletter: https://healthymindbyavik.substack.com/ * Join Community: https://nas.io/healthymind Stay Tuned And Follow Us! * YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@healthymind-healthylife * Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/podhealth.club/  * Threads - https://www.threads.net/@podhealth.club * Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/podcast.healthymind * LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/newandnew/  #podmatch #healthymind #healthymindbyavik #wellness

Melissa Llarena is an international Job Interview Coach, Published Author, and the host of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub podcast. She has been career coaching for over 20 years. She believes that you can play the cards in your favor during a job interview no matter how many cards you may feel are stacked up against you. She's coached professionals around the world on how to effectively and confidently sell themselves during a job interview and helped millions through articles in Forbes, Money Magazine, Huffington Post, Financial Times, CNBC, and Fox Business. In this week's episode, Melissa and I talk about her incredible journey of resiliency and entrepreneurship. Growing up her mother had a manic depressive disorder so that often meant that she was raising her mother more than her mother was raising her. Melissa had to grow up quickly, and I often meant being the person that she could count on the most. Now she feels as if there's nothing outside of her reach. She funded her college career strictly through scholarship money, she's raising her kids while running a business, and she's using her imagination to be her most powerful asset in that business. Tune into this week's episode to hear more about Melissa's incredible story and how you can believe in yourself as much as she does.  Keep up with Melissa on their website and Instagram.  For all Hella Latin@ updates, follow @hellalatinopodcast on Instagram and connect on LinkedIn. More at odalysjasmine.com. To learn more about your ad choices visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Podcast production for this episode was provided by CCST.

This October 31 marks the one-year anniversary of my book, and I'm celebrating by sharing a curated list of my favorite podcast appearances! I've chosen episodes where the hosts' perspectives, personalities, and generosity truly shone. With so many podcasts out there, it's a challenge to find ones that are both genuinely helpful and uplifting. If I'm serving up a celebration, it's going to be as satisfying as the best birthday cake. Join me as I revisit standout moments, including the time a host knew my book so well it made me question my own words, the episode where I shared my birth story, and another where I reveal how I've personally taught my sons about the importance of global networking. Discover how you can use your imagination to tell your own story and feel truly worthy!   In this episode, you will hear:   My book Fertile Imagination turns ONE on Halloween, and I'm celebrating by sharing all the juicy details from my podcast tour!

We need to do a better job at resourcing ourselves, especially if you've decided that you have an unwavering commitment to see your business and family-life vision through! It's not an easy feat to disrupt industries, create your own, or parent multiple kids. It can be chaotic, even on a good day! That's why this week we're diving into the secrets of how to make it all work—yep, all of it! Do you wonder how you can be a boss at work and a rockstar mom at home and still have time to chase those big, audacious dreams? Well, wonder no more!   I'm bringing you an exclusive mashup featuring two powerhouse mompreneurs, Zibby Owens (mom of 4) and Liz Tenety (mom of 5), who are going to spill the beans on balancing business, babies, and everything in between. You ought to know that I have 3 sons with identical twins in that mix, so I know a thing or two about chaos and what it takes to be in business—I've been here for 13 years! Trust me, you don't want to miss their golden nuggets of wisdom, and I'll be chiming in with some of my own wild stories (hello, diaper blowout during a sales pitch?!)   So, grab your coffee, pop in those earbuds, and let's get inspired to stretch our imaginations and turn those crazy ideas into reality! Ready? Let's go! In this episode, you will hear: How to use your mom skills like humility, adaptability, and patience to dominate the business world.  Infusing your work life with playful strategies that help you manage stress and overwhelm like a boss.  Master the art of profitable relationship-building with techniques that are both strategic and authentic. Say goodbye to awkward networking events! Get tools to navigate those pesky insecurities and show up with confidence in every business conversation. Learn to make bold asks and communicate fearlessly to achieve your wildest business goals.  This episode is brought to you Fertile Imagination to Networking Success by my LIVE 9-week group coaching immersive program on becoming a powerful strategic networker using the Imagination to Impact and Income Method™ to connect with the right people, lead the right conversations, and swing open the right doors to success. The DOORS are officially open! But hurry, the DOORS close on September 27th at 5pm CST. I want to be sure you do not miss out on this opportunity and for that reason I invite you to send me a DM today and ask me anything about the opportunity to enroll today. Send me a DM today: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ to ask me anything before the doors officially close. Happy to hop on a quick 15-minute call too so DM me and I'll send you a link for us to talk. Otherwise, head on to www.melissallarena.com/network  Imagine this in only 9 weeks, you could: Build profitable relationships and exceed your growth goals. Gain access to opportunities, boost your confidence for bolder asks, and raise prices. Feel energized by a fresh approach to relationships that taps into your imagination—the source of joy and fresh ideas. Navigate impostor syndrome, reignite your creativity, meet mom obligations, and achieve your best year ever with a focused plan. Approach your year-end goals with a mindset that leverages your advantages as a mom—letting your kids keep you grounded and present while inspiring you with their growth mindset. How? By enrolling in the Fertile Imagination to Networking Success Program for Mom Founders! This game-changing experience which you can enroll in right HERE https://www.melissallarena.com/network/ by September 27th at 5pm CST will show you how to: Transform your networking approach with 9 weeks of live coaching to implement the Imagination to Impact to Income Method™ for genuine connections without gatekeepers. Access an on-demand curriculum with research-based, cross-industry insights covering who to network with, how to find them, and how to create your networking calendar for higher-impact relationships. Experience a one-on-one role-playing session using storytelling to differentiate your business (and yourself), and receive expert feedback on communications for momentum. Revitalize your leadership skills by integrating the strengths you gain from being a mom with diverse modalities and tools that leverage the art of play. Use techniques such as meditations to get your creative juices flowing, boost productivity, and increase your energy. Connect with a community of like-minded mom founders for support and accountability, keeping your standards high and your vision strong. Journal your progress in a workbook to track your improved ability to tackle impostor syndrome and create a visionary leader roadmap to increase confidence. To ensure your long-term success, I've also included additional opportunities to apply these new networking skills by providing you with... Lifetime Access to the on-demand curriculum: Take the guesswork out of networking and refresh your strategy whenever needed. (you can teach this to your kids too!) Two months access to an Alumni online community of like-minded mom founders (priceless value; one contact can turn into a life-changing opportunity!) Two tickets to attend four virtual Quarterly Impact Appreciation Mixers focused on continued education in networking so that you can continue to deepen relationships. And this time only you will also get instant access to three exclusive bonuses that can help you make time for building profitable relationships, making bigger asks to get more, and attracting the right people with resources—so you can connect while you sleep. Get it off your plate!: Reclaim hours each week to easily fit relationship building into your life for business growth. Bolder Communication Strategies Toolkit: Step into a bolder persona and make bolder asks to optimize every interaction. Brush Up Your LinkedIn Profile: Unlock massive networking success by making your LinkedIn profile work harder for you.   I know this sounds too good to be true so don't take my word for it, listen to what others have said about my method. Visit the website: https://www.melissallarena.com/network/ About Melissa Llarena   Melissa is a bestselling author (learn more on www.fertileideas.com), imagination coach behind the Fertile Imagination to Networking Success Group Coaching Program, consultant, speaker, contributor to ForbesWomen articles that have garnered 4 million-plus views, and the podcast host of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub. Featured guests include GaryVee, Beth Comstock, Suzy Batiz, David Meltzer, and hundreds of other unconventional thinkers. Melissa has been featured in the WSJ, Business Insider, Fox Business, CNN Money, The Huffington Post, and other publications. She holds a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate and is training to become a meditation practitioner. Melissa lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and three sons (one singleton and a set of identical twins).   Quotes, that can change your perspective: “We need to do a better job of resourcing ourselves. We have almost everything that we need right under our noses." - Melissa Llarena "The idea is to leap to your goals and make big strides, not get there at a snail's pace." - Melissa Llarena "I feel like I lead as a mom, and I feel like it has only made me a better leader, and they don't talk about that at business school at all." - Zibby Owens "Being humble. 100%. The superpower is the ability to constantly learn" - Zibby Owens   “It is about energy, it is about time, it is about money, and all those things kind of intersect and just encouraging people to use their creativity.” - Liz Tenety….on how being a business leader helped her lead her family "What if hanging out with your kids can be part of your competitive advantage, a business strategy, so that you can come up with a better business idea or something more innovative, certainly something that is simpler to describe." - Melissa Llarena “I think it is so important to bring the whole of you to the table because, because as a mom with a business, that is your competitive advantage.” - Melissa Llarena SHARE this episode and unleash your imagination, tap into your superpowers, and build a successful business while being an amazing mom. Join the conversation with other mom founders and learn how to achieve your goals with confidence and support!

In this Real Life Momz Podcast episode, host Lisa Foster welcomes imagination coach and best-selling author Melissa Llarena. Melissa shares insights on reawakening creative power and imagination, especially for moms. Through her experiences and practical steps, Melissa emphasizes the importance of finding daily moments to nurture creativity, play, and stretch your imagination. Tune in to discover how to tap into your imaginative potential and make it a part of your everyday life. About Our Guest Melissa Llarena: Website: https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melissa.llarenadiaz Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissallarena/ Podcast: www.melissallarena.com/podcast Master Your Year-End Networking: Build Profitable Relationships For Business Growth in 30 Days Without Burnout - www.melissallarena.com/masterclass Free Chapter - www.fertileideas.com Grab your copy of ⁠Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(As an Amazon affiliate, at no extra cost to you, we will earn a small commission from qualifying purchases.) About The Host: Lisa Foster, PT, CST Website: ⁠https://www.reallifemomz.com/⁠ Explore the ⁠⁠Real Life Momz ⁠⁠website for more resources, including weekly episodes, blog posts, momz calming corner, and tips for the mompreneur. New Course: Mastering Belly Time: A Parent's Guide To Belly Time Success Are you a new mom looking to enhance your infant's development in those crucial first months? Our "Mastering Belly Time" mini-course is designed specifically for mothers with infants aged 0-6 months. This engaging online course is your guide to understanding the importance of belly time and how to make it a fun and enjoyable bonding experience for you and your baby. In this course, you'll learn from a Licensed Pediatric Physical Therapist: - The Importance of Belly Time - Stages of Belly Time (0-6 Months) - Practical Tips for Success Whether you're a first-time mom or looking to refresh your parenting skills, this course is perfect for you! Plus, it makes an incredible gift for baby showers, birthdays, or just because.

In this episode, we welcome Melissa Llarena, who is a business coach, a mami, and author of Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact. We discuss the importance of nurturing imagination as mamis, pulling inspiration from our cultural backgrounds and personal experiences. Melissa shares her journey from growing up in a chaotic environment to becoming a published author and business coach.Our conversation covers practical steps for reawakening, playing with, and stretching our imagination, as well as tips for balancing motherhood with personal ambitions. We also address imposter syndrome, leveraging human capital for business success, and redefining madrehood to pursue our dreams alongside raising children.For detailed show notes, visit vivalamami.com/episode91Connect with Melissa LlarenaWebsite: melissallarena.comLinkedIn: @melissallarenaInstagram: @melissallarenaFacebook: @melissa.llarenadiazX: @CareerOutcomes Buy her book on Amazon!Sign up for Melissa's FREE LIVE masterclass on either September 23rd or September 24th, 2024: melissallarena.com/masterclass/Love this episode? Subscribe wherever you are listening, share this episode with an amiga, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠leave a review⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on Apple podcasts.You can connect with Viva la Mami on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠VLM website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or email us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠podcast@vivalamami.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Join the ⁠⁠⁠⁠Viva la Mami newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠ so you won't miss a thing!

Ever give your all in podcast interviews but wonder why they're not boosting your business? Imagine if you could take those appearances—even the ones gathering dust—and turn them into powerful, revenue-driving assets. Sounds pretty good, right?  Today, I'm chatting with the brilliant Beth Nydick, a media expert and mom founder, to get all the juicy details on how to turn those podcast interviews, even the ones from years ago, into powerful tools for growth. Beth and I chat about everything from the art of storytelling to making sure you stand out as both a podcast guest and host. And trust me, if you're juggling motherhood and entrepreneurship, this episode is packed with actionable tips to make sure your time spent on podcasts is actually moving the needle for your business. Plus, I share some of my own experiences (yep, even the messy ones) because I'm all about keeping it real. So whether you're a seasoned podcaster or just thinking about hopping on a mic, you won't want to miss this one. Let's make sure every podcast appearance counts, shall we? Tune in, and let's get those creative juices flowing!

Ever wonder why networking events feature few mothers starting businesses? I have been thinking about this for the past 13 years and am ready to explain why it is so important to me. Often feeling like the lone mother in the room, I started to wonder why more amazing mother entrepreneurs weren't out there networking?   Here's what I've heard: "The kids are getting ready for bed, and happy hours are as sleazy as a meat market," is what I've overheard.

Welcome to the Artificial Intelligence Podcast with Jonathan Green! In this episode, we explore the impact of AI on networking with our special guest, Melissa Llarena, an expert in genuine networking and founder of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub podcast.Melissa shares insights on how to use AI to enhance your networking efforts without losing authenticity. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining a personal touch and using AI as a tool to prepare and research rather than to replace genuine interactions.Notable Quotes:“AI is never gonna replace the need for someone to have guts.” - [Melissa Llarena]“AI might have that language for you, but at the end of the day, you yourself deep inside know it wasn't even your words.” - [Melissa Llarena]“The intention in terms of the way that you got that guest and the way that you're letting them shine on your podcast matters.” - [Melissa Llarena]“You can pull from different categories of your life to add value and not feel insecure about networking.” - [Melissa Llarena]Melissa also addresses common pitfalls in using AI for networking, such as relying too heavily on AI-generated messages and losing personal touch. She provides practical advice on how to leverage AI for research and preparation to enhance your networking efforts genuinely.Connect with Melissa Llarena:https://fertileideas.com/https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/https://www.melissallarena.com/podcast/Melissa offers a free playbook for mom entrepreneurs and a set of best practices for using AI in networking. Reach out to her on Instagram to get these valuable resources.Connect with Jonathan Green The Bestseller: ChatGPT Profits Free Gift: The Master Prompt for ChatGPT Free Book on Amazon: Fire Your Boss Podcast Website: https://artificialintelligencepod.com/ Subscribe, Rate, and Review: https://artificialintelligencepod.com/itunes Video Episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@ArtificialIntelligencePodcast

Feeling stretched thin as a mom and entrepreneur? Let's talk about burnout and how to beat it! For me, finding that sweet spot between work and family fun is a game-changer. Imagine shooting hoops with your kids or diving into books you all enjoy—it's all about blending joy and quality time.  Next up, we're super excited to have Liz Tenety join us! She's the brilliant co-founder of Motherly and the mastermind behind Founding Women. As a mom of five, Liz knows all about balancing the chaos of a big family with the grind of running a venture-backed startup. She's here to drop some major wisdom on managing your energy, why it's crucial to prioritize your well-being before chasing profits, and how to get creative with childcare and household support. Liz is all about a holistic approach to avoid burnout. She cautions that focusing solely on work and parenting can lead to neglecting friendships and personal wellness. Her advice? Blend work and home life seamlessly, involve the kids in chores, and don't hesitate to get help when needed. We'll also explore how to balance life and business, with Liz sharing tips on building a support team, from hiring a virtual assistant to arranging childcare swaps with other entrepreneur moms. Ready to learn from the best? Let's dive in! In this episode, you will hear: Actionable insights on managing energy and aligning family and business needs. Methods to keep burnout at bay, including investing in well being and child care before turning a profit. Creative ways to blend personal interests with parenting through enjoyable activities. Exploration of energy management techniques and the balance between narrow focus and holistic well being. Hiring resources early and fostering a collaborative family environment to reduce personal burnout. Liz's experience in creating supportive communities for female founders and translating business skills into effective motherhood. Identifying and managing daily parenting tasks and logistical challenges to prevent burnout. Ideas for reimagining work-life balance and parenting to create a sustainable and fulfilling life. Encouragement to build a support network and invest in well being for a successful business and family life.  This episode is brought to you by a LIVE free masterclass How to Craft a Focused Year-End Networking Strategy to Build Profitable Relationships in 30 Days Without Draining Your Mom Energy. Back to school for moms? Join me on September 23, 2024 or September 24, 2024! Add your name to my newsletter HERE: https://fertileideas.com/ - this will do two things: you'll instantly receive my free networking playbook and be the first to know when the doors to my masterclass officially open!  Be the first to hear when the DOORS officially open to this FREE masterclass for mom founders. As when they do, you'll get a workbook upon signing up so you can start to warm up your profitable relationship building skills before you need them and for showing up LIVE you'll get my very own plug-and-play 30-day networking planner! How's that for a gift? More about this LIVE free masterclass: How to Craft a Focused Year-End Networking Strategy to Build Profitable Relationships in 30 Days Without Draining Your Mom Energy. You want to build profitable relationships without draining your energy for family and business. Imagine if family time and business could fuel each other rather than deplete you. Maybe you've been filling your cup instead of depleting it? I faced the same challenge. I learned to balance being a great business owner and mom while building profitable relationships in my 13-year career. I can help you make this a reality. Hi, I'm Melissa Llarena, bestselling author, podcaster, mom of three boys (including twins), and CEO of a coaching business in Austin, TX. I started my business with my firstborn at six months and, later with twins, struggled with distractions. I discovered that while some founders might reach goals faster, I didn't need to sacrifice my vision. I focused on building profitable relationships, a more consistent path to income than ads or social media algorithms. This approach expanded my reach, boosted my message, and increased my credibility. Plus, my method saves time by skipping gatekeepers, eliminating the need for warm intros or happy hours. This is what sets my method apart. I created a repeatable networking strategy for moms using my "Imagination to Impact to Income Method™." This strategy transformed how I manage time and energy and will be the focus of my LIVE masterclass entitled How to Craft a Focused Year-End Networking Strategy to Build Profitable Relationships in 30 Days Without Draining Your Mom Energy. My mission is to help moms creatively build their business while embracing motherhood. Profitable relationships align with both your business and family goals. I'll show you how in the masterclass to close the year strong. Attend LIVE and get a 30-day Profitable Networking Planner™! No more guessing how to connect with the right people. By the end of the class, you'll learn to: - Reimagine your company vision to energize you. - Find a clear relationship-building focus for your business's potential. - Overcome impostor syndrome to become unstoppable. Learn a proven plan to turn contacts into connections, even if you're an introvert. It helped me land GaryVee on my podcast, write books, and secure major sales, including a collaboration with the world's first IVF baby. I'll share this in the masterclass. Ready to add this to your calendar! Sign-up to be the first to know when the doors OPEN for this LIVE free masterclass! https://www.melissallarena.com/masterclass/ Let's turn ON your superpower LIVE! -Melissa Llarena About Liz Tenety Liz Tenety is a dynamic founder, digital entrepreneur, and transformation coach dedicated to empowering ambitious women. As the co-founder of Founding Women, she supports female founders through expert-led small groups and accelerators. Liz previously served as the Chief Digital Officer and co-founder of Motherly, where she played a key role in growing the venture-backed startup to 30 million monthly users and significant revenue. With nearly 20 years in media and startups—including a decade at The Washington Post—Liz now leads Growth Mode, her growth consulting firm, and coaches at Blue Engine Collaborative and Georgetown University. Her passion lies in using design thinking, storytelling, and data to uplift women and mothers in business. Quotes, that can change your perspective:   "Not having friends is actually a recipe for me for burnout, not focusing on pleasure and rest and play." - Liz Tenety "I realized, okay, wait a minute, instead of paying someone to watch my kids so I can clean, I should hire house help with that extra funds that I might have so that I could spend that time with my kids." - Liz Tenety "I don't know how to keep up with the competition if I'm not up front hiring resources before I make one dollar. Any other mom found a better way?." - Melissa Llarena "I feel your pain, and it's not easy to make these numbers work."  - Liz Tenety "No great company is built alone. And in a lot of ways for me, I learn better how to run my family and think about what it means to lead a family by running a company" - Liz Tenety "You might get so much energy from hanging out with your loved ones. And why would you avoid that source of energy? You're a mom, there's finite energy." - Melissa Llarena   SHARE this episode with anyone who's juggling the demands of motherhood and entrepreneurship! Whether you're seeking tips on avoiding burnout, balancing work and family, or building a support network, Liz Tenety's insights are gold. Let's spread the wisdom and help each other thrive—don't miss out! Supporting Resources:   Website:  https://foundingwomen.co  Instagram: @liztenety Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to my podcast for new moms who are entrepreneurs, founders, and creators?  I'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.   I'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast for writer moms.   About Fertile Imagination – www.fertileideas.com You can be a great mom without giving up, shrinking, or hiding your dreams. There's flexibility in how you pursue anything – your role, your lifestyle, and your personal and professional goals. The limitations on your dreams are waiting to be shattered. It's time to see and seize what's beyond your gaze. Let's bridge your childhood daydreams with your grown-up realities. Imagine skipping with your kids along any path – you, surpassing your milestones while your kids are reaching theirs. There's only one superpower versatile enough to stretch your thinking beyond what's been done before: a Fertile Imagination. It's like kryptonite for impostor syndrome and feeling stuck when it's alert!   In Fertile Imagination, you will awaken your sleeping source of creative solutions. If you can wake up a toddler or a groggy middle schooler, then together with the stories in this book – featuring 25 guests from my podcast Unimaginable Wellness, proven tools, and personal anecdotes – we will wake up your former playmate: your imagination!   Advance Praise   “You'll find reality-based strategies for imagining your own imperfect, fulfilling life in this book!” —MARTHA HENNESSEY, former NH State Senator “Melissa invites the reader into a personal and deep journey about topics that are crucially important to uncover what would make a mom (and dad too) truly happy to work on...even after the kids are in bed.” —KEN HONDA, best-selling author of Happy Money   “This book is a great purchase for moms in every stage of life. Melissa is like a great friend, honest and wise and funny, telling you about her life and asking you to reflect on yours.” —MAUREEN TURNER CAREY, librarian in Austin, TX TRANSCRIPT 00:00:00 Liz:  I try to set up opportunities for play with my kids that I enjoy. I don't like board games. I just like, I don't like that. And I don't like terrible cartoon character books, the little books with Paw Patrol. Like aesthetically, like it offends me. So I try to like play a basketball. I love playing basketball with my son. So I'll try to do something with my child that I enjoy and read choose the book that is going to bring me pleasure to read with my kid. 00:00:33 Melissa:  Welcome to the Mom Founder Imagination Hub, your weekly podcast to inspire you to dream bigger. Plan out how you're going to get to that next level in business. Find the energy to keep going and make sure your creative juices are flowing so that this way you get what you really want rather than having to settle. Get ready to discover how mom founders have reimagined entrepreneurship and motherhood. Ever wonder how they do it? Tune in to find out and stretch yourself by also learning from diverse entrepreneurs who might not be moms, but who have lessons you can tailor about how you can disrupt industries and step way outside of your comfort zone. I believe every mom's superpower is her imagination. In this podcast, I'm going to give you the mindset, methods, and tools to unleash yours. Sounds good? Then keep listening.   00:01:25 Melissa:  Welcome, beautiful mom founder. So in today's episode, we're gonna go through burnout. Is there a way to avoid it? Is there a way to keep it at bay through energy management solutions that work for you and your family? Also, we're gonna go through building a business and how that might actually make you a more empowered mom who can design a family life that is almost like run like a business with heart, of course. We're also gonna go through investing in your wellbeing and why you might want to pay for the child care, pay for the VAs before you turn a profit. So the conversation today is something that I personally really needed. Today's guest is none other than the co-founder behind Motherly, current founder of Founding Women, a career community supporting female founders through expert led small groups and accelerators. The name of today's guest is Liz Tenety. 00:02:21 Melissa:  I am thrilled to have her perspective. She's a mom of five and she knows what it takes in order to run a venture backed startup. She also knows what it takes in terms of the requirements that having a big family have on our energy levels and sources. So enjoy the conversation. Definitely. Let me know what you think in terms of the possibilities for you to almost piece together your own childcare solutions, piece together your own resources so that you can have that opportunity to invest in your wellbeing upfront, so that you can actually launch your business, build your business, scale your business, and make whatever vision you have for your business turn into a reality that you are better off for, you and your family. That's what it's about here. So enjoy the conversation. 00:03:17 Melissa:  This episode is brought to you by a masterclass I want to formally and cordially invite you to on September 23rd. We're gonna go through a focused 30 day networking strategy that is gonna help you end the year strong. It is about having a company vision that energizes you. It is about, and we're gonna go through how to focus, where to apply your finite focus as a mom, and also how to actually navigate feeling like an imposter at times so that you get billed and really enhance the profitable relationships that are going to take your business to the next level. This is happening on September 23rd. I know, I know, right now we are just getting our kids back to school and that might not be on your top of mind list, but I want to just give you some of the details that we're going to run through. And I want to invite you to sign up today for my newsletter so that you're the very first to hear of when I opened the doors for this masterclass that will be live for one hour on September 23rd, which is a Monday. So just go to fertileideas.com. Go ahead and grab my free networking playbook while you're at it, and that will instantly put you on the list. So on September 23rd, here's what you're in for.  00:04:45 Melissa:  You are going to 100% have a really good idea on how to make your company vision, which a lot of you might call your origin story or that description on your website that describes what you do, who you are and why, and have it work for you. Have it energize you, have it feel more aligned and have it almost like contribute to that pep in your step. The second thing we're going to do is we're going to narrow your focus. And here's what I mean by that. It is not about, you know, not, it's not about being in monk mode. It's not about going to a retreat in some cottage in Canada. No, it is about understanding what you need to accomplish to make the end of this year, 2024, align with what you had originally intended this year to look like in terms of your revenue, in terms of your business, in terms of whatever creative endeavor you have out there. And the third point, which I mentioned a little earlier is, you know, on a path to building a business, there are moments where you might start second guessing yourself. You might encounter self doubt that mental chatter that I don't know if I'm ready might pop up. I want you to have a proactive plan this year so that the end of the year, you don't have regrets. I wish I would have, I wish I would have pressed send. I wish I would have published my book. I wish I would have, you know, launched my podcast, I wish I would have asked for, you know, bigger donation dollars for my nonprofit. I don't want you to have that on your heart.  00:06:11 Melissa:  I want you to be totally prepared and ready for a strong end to 2024. So quick, quick, quick to do go to fertileideas.com. That'll be in the show notes and sign up. Get the playbook while you're at it. I have a networking playbook that also helps you start to build profitable relationships and it is so useful whether you are an introvert or an extrovert or somewhere in between There's such a thing as an ambivert. So go ahead to fertile ideas comm get the playbook. Here's the thing I'm gonna be pricing it about $14.99 so you could totally wait and get it later, but today right now it is free for mom founders to go to fertileideas.com, that is how you get in my email newsletter and that is also how you have first persons access to the details around this masterclass that will be live will be on September 23rd and will be all for mom founders who want to end the year strong.  00:07:09 Melissa:  So go ahead right now. I'll give you a second hit pause and sign up for the playbook. So you get on the newsletter and you're the first to know about this masterclass is going to change the way you end 2024. I look forward to seeing you there and enjoy the conversation with Liz Tennedy. I'm so excited that she joined me on The Mom Founder Imagination Hub. So Liz, I am so excited to have you here on the mom found her imagination hub. I love that you're putting on chapstick. That is so mom of you in the morning. How are you?  00:07:41 Liz:  I'm great. I slept well last night and kids are healthy. The babysitter's here. We're nearing the end of summer break. So I'm feeling hopeful about the future, even the next couple of weeks. 00:07:56 Melissa:  Yeah, I think they call it summer break, but I feel like we end up kind of breaking, if we don't have everything like structured out and our resources in place. And so I get it. I get it. But here's here's something that I would love to speak with you about in great depth, right? For as long as we have the time. Burnout. Let's let's like dive deeply into burnout. I mean, in terms of your experiences and now with what you're doing with Founding Women, I know that it's top of mind. I know that it's part of, you know, wellness as a solution, but here's kind of my thought on burnout and I wanna hear what you think. So I feel like having a narrow focus is one way to kind of proactively address burnout or not get to that place. But then I also think, so I have lots of thoughts, but I'll just share my second and I'll stop there. I also think that we have different points at which we reach burnout. So I might reach burnout after X hours of work sitting down at my computer, whereas someone else might have a different burnout point. So here's the question I asked myself legit. How can I work really hard and long right before my burnout point so I don't get to that place where it's hard to get back? 00:09:22 Liz:  I mean, it's such a huge, huge topic. I think something I always personally love to do is to zoom way out. And by that, I don't just mean for my own life. I actually mean like on the horizon of time and human history, how are humans doing work and life in other cultures, in other times, like a hundred years ago, 10,000 years ago? Because my own like little life hypothesis is that we're living in unbelievably unprecedented times, particularly for mothers in the West who, you know, live these nuclear family lives. They have less sort of social support than ever, right? And we also have in its place no structural support, no political support, no corporate culture support for motherhood to kind of put my own struggles and the struggles of other parents, but especially moms that I encounter like in this context of, sure, by a lot of measures, we have things better than in human history. 00:10:36 Liz:  But if you look at other groups of measures like social support, belonging, meaning, I think we're actually really struggling. And so just knowing that helps me not feel so alone and feel like the struggle is real, like it's not just all up in my head. So that helps. And I'm always zooming out for my own problems and the daily struggles, because it really helps to put things in perspective for me. You mentioned narrow focus, which I find really interesting. And I don't know that I have like one answer. And frankly, I think any productivity guru who's giving you one answer or one framework is lying to you in different seasons of life. And I think that's particularly true for women and those who bear children that there's literally seasons that happen in your body and we need to respect them, but there's also seasons throughout the year. Capitalism acts like everything is always upward on the trajectory and it's not. We do need those seasons of rest and recovery that are just natural to being a human, especially being a woman, especially being a mother. So pushing back on that idea that it's always, you know, upwards. Anyway, get back to narrow focus. When I heard you talk about narrow focus, it reminded me of Greg McEwen's book, Essentialism, which I read, let's see, six years ago, and I found it so helpful, and I found it like such a relief.  00:12:10 Liz:  I was running my startup at the time or venture back startup, we were in total growth mode. I mean, it was so intense every single day. I read it on vacation that I took. And one of the one of the anecdotes in that book is about a large family. I think I think it was a stay at home mom and like a traditional working, you know, in the office dad. I remember that they had six kids. And the story was that that couple had decided that for that season of life, they did not need to focus on their friendships, their social lives, okay? And they went really narrow. It's about raising the kids and running this household. Again, I get that. And that was so logical. So I kind of bought it into this idea of narrow focus, right? The only thing I told myself at that time that I had capacity for, the only things were taking care of my kids and running my startup. And I bought in on that. And what happened was I burned out. And I realized why.  00:13:12 Liz:  And actually, Greg McEwen has written a follow-up book called Effortless, like critiquing his own framework here because then I realized, you know, in the pandemic and in the years that followed, as I approached 40, not having friends is actually a recipe for me, for burnout, not focusing on pleasure and rest and play. That I got so narrow that I didn't even allow myself to do things that were actually holistically good for me as a human being. So, and yeah, I'm attracted to the idea of like going narrow and not and letting certain things fall by the wayside. I do think depending on your season of life though, really looking holistically at like, what do I, what do I actually need to be refueled for this journey?   00:14:03 Liz: And kind of doing that 360 view of it is really critical. And I think for me, being too narrow and saying, oh, I don't have time for friends. I don't have time to work out. I don't have time for wellness. I'll prioritize that in a different season. That's actually ironically the thing that led me to burnout and then decide like, okay, I need a hard break with what, you know, the life that I've been living in a big reset, which is what I did about three years ago. 00:14:29 Melissa: Yeah. And it's interesting because when I talk about focus, what I mean is focusing on what gives you energy. And it doesn't necessarily mean taking everything off your plate. You might actually want to add things to your plate that energize you, like in your case, friendships, right? Or playing with your child, you know, playing pretend and things like that. That magical moment and experience can make you more excited when you're out there marketing, you know, your solution. And so I totally get what you're saying. I think our focus for what helps us avoid burnout. 00:15:11 Melissa: It's different. It's different from me. It's different for you, you know, like maybe, maybe I have social anxiety. I know some clients of mine, they suffer with that. And so the thought of them like going out in the world and such is draining on them, you know, but like virtual coffee chats as an example, might be really uplifting and helpful. So I think your point is perfect. Absolutely perfect. So let me ask you this question, because I feel like it's like the elephant in the room, right? For a lot of moms that found a business. So you mentioned two big, big, big things that were going on in terms of mothering your children, of which you have five, right? You have five. And running a business. So those two things, like I feel like the other side of it is, okay, how do you prevent burnout? I think we also have to be honest about the things in our lives that contribute to burnout that are not just you know, pitching clients or getting investors, but also untangling fights between siblings or schlepping someone from point A to point B and you know, there being traffic. And I don't have a spreadsheet that says, here are all the things that I think about that drain me from a family perspective, but I do have a list of to-dos from a business perspective.  00:16:34 Melissa: So looking at both sides, would you say that you have found in talking to founding women and learning about moms, through motherly and other means, have you found that maybe we're not being honest enough with the things that are really on our list? There are some invisible things that are not on our list that drain us. 00:16:54 Liz:  I love that. Yeah, that makes so much sense. I love your framework around energy management and I think it's sort of surging as a concept and people are growing in their awareness of this idea of focusing on what you have energy for and the sources of energy drain so that you can be in that zone of genius more frequently. And also, you know, you mentioned playing with your kids. I got some great advice a decade ago from a friend and I've tried to practice it, which is that I try to set up opportunities for play for kids that I enjoy. I don't like board games. I just like, I don't like that.  00:17:36 Liz: And I don't like terrible cartoon character books, you know, the little books with like Paw Patrol, like aesthetically, like it offends me, you know? So I try to like play a basketball. I love playing basketball with my son. So I'll try to do something with my child that I enjoy and read, choose the book that is going to bring me pleasure to read with my kid.  00:18:00 Liz: So even in parenting, looking, taking inventory of how do I use that, even in the car. I want to put music on that I'm going to enjoy, that I'm going to get energy from. And, you know, they're kind of whining in the background because, like, they don't like my weird music. Like, I'm fine with that. I, you know, I am the driver. I am the parent. I'm going to decide that, you know, we're listening to music that I enjoy. You know, you also are reminding me of. Something that I talk to my husband about all the time, which is that we're trying to build a life for ourselves and an integrated work and life work business family that we haven't quite seen modeled in our you know, micro communities.  00:18:44 Liz: You know, we've seen it kind of out there vaguely with like influencers who kind of live that more integrated family lifestyle. And by that I mean like family businesses or having a unique work family blend or being digital nomads and that kind of thing, which we're not, but I find that general concept interesting. And that is this, that if we want to live a little bit more intentionally, a little bit more unconventionally, we are going to have to find solutions for our family that we haven't seen modeled. And so something I love about your work is just your appreciation for creative genius and outside of the box solutions. 00:19:30 Liz:  But to get very specific, I realized a few years ago that I was hiring babysitters at nights or on the weekends so that I could catch up on housework or paperwork, you know, all the like logistics. So I realized, okay, wait a minute, instead of paying someone to watch my kids so I can clean, I should hire house help with that extra money. funds that I might have so that I could spend that time with my kids. And similarly, I recently hired a VA, a virtual assistant, right? So it's 600 bucks a month. I don't pay my bills anymore. They get paid, but my VA pays the bills, plans activities, buys tickets and airfare for trips.  00:20:18 Liz: Anything that's like weighing on me, even something this week I asked her to do was make sure the kids were signed up for the right bus for their school, all of that long, long, long, long list. I think of it like building scaffolding around our family where there's that long family list and I'm able to get support in things that aren't bringing me energy and that are taking away from my capacity to be focused on my kids at that time or on my work. The last part of where we are as a family with this I have to give my husband a lot of credit. We're working really hard in this season of life to get our kids much more actively involved in like solving the problems or the work of the family.  00:21:05 Liz: So having a heavier chore list for them, having them make sure they're doing their own laundry, having very clear assignments. In fact, last night my daughter was working on the meal plan and adding the ingredients to our grocery card on my phone. And so we think of it like a team. And when we think of our family as a team and as your kids get older, I'm finding it helpful and instructive and good for them to be more involved in making this team like function as a group. So those are some of the creative ways that I found to over time make this all work in a way that decreases my personal burnout.  00:21:49 Melissa: That makes sense, a lot of sense. I mean, I've definitely had someone that was talking about fair play and just, you know, making sure that everybody picks up different responsibilities and the mom, for the most part, doesn't feel so like, you know, out of control. So I totally hear what you're saying. I have to ask this question. It's something that is really pressing on my mind because a lot of the clients that I've supported. 00:22:14 Melissa: It's almost like they wait until a certain magic number from a revenue perspective or a certain magic age of their kids to start hiring any resources. Yeah. Right. So I heard and this could be totally fictional, but I heard one mom say, oh, I had a coach that said, you know, before, like, make $100,000 in your business and then hire a VA, for example. And so she split it in half. She said, how about $50,000 and then I hire a VA. Here's the chicken and egg question. It's like, as a mom, to be very brutally honest, I don't know how to keep up with the competition if I'm not upfront hiring resources before I make $1. Like help me untangle this. 00:23:11 Liz: I couldn't agree more and I don't presume to speak for other people's budgets and you know people have a wide variety of needs and things that they're paying for. I will say that you know as we've become parents, we were 27 when we became parents, we're about to turn 40 this year. So we make significantly more money today than we did you know when we were 27 and we had our first child and the vast majority of that income, the extra income that we made has been reinvested in quality childcare that makes our lives easier as parents in some housekeeping support. We have less now than we've had in the past because our kids are more capable.  00:23:53 Liz: But when I was working at the start or running my startup full-time, you know,  I was not doing any housework. That was like a weekly job and or someone was coming in to do the laundry. We have looked at like school budgets, right? Like our kids haven't necessarily gone to the preschool that we really wanted them to go to because literally my husband showed me if you choose this preschool, we choose this preschool, like we can't have housekeeping support. So we chose like the more affordable option so that we could put that money back into having a housekeeper and help us with the laundry and the maintenance of our home.  00:24:34 Liz: So, and we don't take many vacations, if any, will go travel to visit our families. We've even started driving 10 hour trips, 12 hour trips to go visit family to cut down on the cost of our vacations because I truly believe that early investment in my wellbeing is the thing that's gonna allow me to build my next business and kind of align my professional life with the integrated family life that I really want. 00:25:03 Liz: That being said, like it's so, so hard out there for working moms. We lack affordable childcare. We lack maternity leave policies. So I have nothing but empathy and I want people to know that if they are just truly looking at their budgets and saying like, I can't make this work, it's not your fault. You know, we, we have to pay, is it in some cities, you know, twice the cost of housing for our childcare. And there's no other country on earth that asks this of families. 00:25:34 Liz: So, you know, I feel your pain and it's not easy to make these numbers work. That being said, reinvesting yourself is absolutely the best thing that you can do and, you know, do it flexibly. I've had certain VA services that didn't work out and I no longer work with them. The one that I'm using now is phenomenal and I'm recommending them to others. But there's a book called Design Your Life, which is out of the Stanford D school and this whole idea of using prototypes, right? Lightweight prototypes to find solutions is one that I think my husband and I have tried and applied. And we keep trying different solutions to make this work in our various stages of life.  00:26:15 Melissa: Yeah. I mean, I, it's so interesting because I think so much great thinking comes out of these world-class institutions, right? I know you're at Georgetown and for me, I have relationships with Tuck but what I will say the one really big missing piece of the puzzle is okay. So that's nice if you wanna work in a big corporate environment, go up the ranks, et cetera, or have a startup, I'm thinking about Stanford, right? With its entrepreneurial leanings. But then what happens when you've had no sleep? Or what happens when you have one child and then you have five, you know, there's all these changes that are not just logical spreadsheet solutions, but they're emotional conversations that a lot of founding moms have in our heads that take up our finite energy.  00:27:04 Melissa: Okay, so here's something else that I was super curious to hear your thoughts on. So asking for help and just, you know, resources. I was having this like conversation with a mom, you know, over me with the margarita, her with the tea, and she said, you know, I've met all these like moms that have these fabulous businesses and they have legions of support, legions. And that's not what I heard you say right now. I heard that it's quite the adjustable team building setup. Say more on maybe the first step. Like how can somebody just incrementally build a team so that they don't have to like go all out and think, oh, it's all or nothing. But you know, there's this one resource and second and third.  00:27:51 Liz: So I guess over the decade of that, I've been a mom and an entrepreneur, I've learned how to think really creatively about time. And you know, all like working moms know that all of a sudden we can get a whole day's worth of work done in just a few hours. And that kind of may have seemed impossible before motherhood, but we just get this incredible focus. So I have been there. I mean, when I was a first, when I was a new working mom, I could not afford full time childcare. So I had four hours in the morning, I had lunch with my son, and then I worked as hard as I could during his two hour nap, right. So I kind of got to seven hours of work, working that way, just working around nap time. 00:28:36 Liz: I also have joined gyms where there's two hours of childcare and a little cafe that you can sit in. And so for like 200 bucks a month, you get two hours of childcare a day, whether or not you work out, which is a pretty great deal. You know, YMCAs have free childcare and are really affordable in a lot of communities. So I would think, you know, I would not bat an eye at doing that. I've also heard of entrepreneur moms setting up childcare swaps with other entrepreneurs. So one mom takes the kids one day, another mom, the next.  00:29:13 Liz: I also just, you know, encourage people to think about what they really need help with. Cause sometimes I think, do I really need more childcare and to spend a thousand dollars next week on full-time childcare or do I need to assign this project? To my VA or hire someone on Upwork to get this job done, right? I also think looking at the weekends, which I can often get taken over by kid activities, but my husband and I are working hard now to make sure that we each have designated time on the weekends to ourselves so that we can recover a little bit from the week and be able to be more intentional with, with our kids. So I guess not that I have an easy answer, but trying to think really creatively about your team, your time, where to find really dedicated pockets of time.  00:30:06 Liz: Lastly, I work from home. I've worked full-time from home for 12 years since becoming a mom. But this afternoon, I'm going to a cafe because talk about the space-time continuum. I can somehow be so much more creative and productive and I can put my headphones on and get a latte and sit down and crank workout in a cafe environment. Like that energy is really good for me creatively. And so again, it's like, it is about energy, it is about time, it is about money and all those things kind of intersect and just encouraging people to use their creativity.  00:30:41 Liz: Also, ChatGPT is blowing my mind every single day. And so when I have like thorny questions of how do I solve this weird problem that I've never even talked to someone about? ChatGPT is surprising me with what it's able to suggest. So even AI tools and things like that are able to kind of introduce serendipity into our lives when we realize that, you know, no great company is built alone. And in a lot of ways for me, I learned better how to run my family and think about what it means to lead a family by running a company and seeing no one can, I can't scale a startup by myself. I need talent to be in their zone of genius and we need to work together on a shared mission. And that over time is how I've tried to operate our family more and more intentionally, learning from running my company.  00:31:32 Melissa: I love that. That's the opposite direction or the other direction that Zibby Owens suggested. So Zibby Owens was on Mom Founders Imagination Hub. And she was saying how being a stay at home mom has helped her build out her business and the Zibby verse. Right. So that's like one direction. And then now you are sharing how it helps in the opposite direction too. Right. So founding the business, building the business, being a mom. And I feel like I'm kind of in between because I literally launched my business with my firstborn on my chest. Like I went to that first sales meeting with my baby in my Ergo baby. And he had a diaper blowout and I closed the sale. But Manhattan is all the better for that experience.  00:32:25 Melissa: [unclear] I love this. I love this. And you know what? You have a fertile imagination to say the least. And I think that is, it's huge. It's one worthy that anyone listening should totally check you out. Totally check out Founding Women, go to the website. And just use that expansive thinking to figure out the best solution for yourself, because your energy needs might be different than Liz's energy needs and my own. And so we need to each do our due diligence to see what works best for us and our family. So thank you so much, Liz. And so I appreciate you so much, Liz, for this conversation. And I would love to just hear more about where listeners can... follow you and learn more about what you're building for us.  00:33:15 Liz: Sure, well, thank you for that. My husband went to Stanford Business School and I did not attend but I did start motherly while he was in business school. And I'm on a list serve with all these women who are moms coming out of Stanford GSB, right? So high powered business women and they're about seven years post MBA right now, seven to ten years post MBA. And all of these high powered women are wrestling with this exact thing. So it's just really interesting to have like a sneak peek into that.  00:33:44 Liz: I am building a new support community for female founders. It is the community that I did not have. I think, you know, there's awesome career communities out there for ambitious women. Chief is, you know, the big famous one among them. But in my experience, founders, entrepreneurs are... much more motivated by this idea of freedom, of building an asset, of controlling your schedule. And the challenges that we face are quite different as female founders trying to build in that way. So people can go to foundingwomen.co. You can also look me up on LinkedIn, where I share more information about our community and also just supportive resources for female founders. So my name is Liz Tenety, T-E-N-E-T-Y. I'm hoping eventually to launch my own personal Instagram.  00:34:34 Liz: But I'm also the co-founder of Motherly. So if you are a mom and kind of in the midst of intense, you know, motherhood seasons, we provide expert support and resources on Instagram and our website, and you can find us at @mother.ly.  00:34:49 Melissa: Here are the three things that you will want to really think through pertaining to how to make your life better, how to feel more energized, more enthusiastic about what's ahead. Point number one, investing in your wellbeing before you turn a profit, understanding that everyone's budget is going to be different, and also understanding that you might feel uncertain in terms of what is coming up in the markets, et cetera. It is still a choice that you can make if you already are using some dollars for other sort of components of your childcare experience, right?  00:35:24 Melissa: So what I loved about Liz was that she didn't necessarily come up with some extra magic money. She instead with her husband made a decision. Either the kids go to childcare or go to a preschool that is higher priced, or we figure out a more affordable solution for their childcare or for their preschool and use the remainder or what's leftover or the extra for whatever it might be, cleaning the house. And so that is very inventive in the sense that it's not so much like asking for more, but doing different with the dollars that you intended to spend anyways. 00:36:03 Melissa: Second point, and again, this is before turning a profit if that is available to you. It is an investment. It's a different way of seeing things. The second point that I think is really worth thinking through for yourself is that burnout is not necessarily about being in monk mode, going to a retreat and being secluded from family and friends. You might get so much energy from hanging out with your loved ones. And why would you avoid that source of energy? You're a mom, there's finite energy. And if that is important to you, it is important for you to include that in terms of your, you know, avoid burnout plan.  00:36:43 Melissa: Here's the third point in terms of building a business. Zibby Owens actually in another podcast, which I will link in the show notes. She said that she learned how to build her business and be a team leader from being a stay at home mom. Here, Liz provides the opposite. She shares how building her business, so co-founding Motherly and now founding Women, is helping her really navigate motherhood and build a lifestyle and family life experience that is quote unquote sustainable and I don't know, maybe scalable if that's the right word in that instance. Either way, I would encourage you to really reimagine how you approach your life experience and how you intend to build up or scale your business given this conversation with Liz. 00:37:34 Melissa: I think there was a lot here that can be shared with other moms. I think anyone that is starting or thinking about launching a business needs to hear this conversation. So go ahead and share this episode with them today. You could share it either on iTunes or right here. Be sure that if you do share it on YouTube, which I would love, be sure that you share it with them and you just give them a heads up that they're about to change their perspective on whether or not it's possible to avoid burnout with few or limited resources. I think this conversation offered enough food for thought.  00:38:12 Melissa: So thank you so much. And until next Tuesday, did you subscribe? Did you actually hit the notification bell on YouTube? And if you're listening on iTunes or anywhere else this podcast is heard, did you hit follow? You just have the tiny little things that make a really big difference and encourage me to continue to pump content out like this for other moms. Moms who we have to use our imagination in order to carve a path that we may have never seen laid out for us before. Thank you so much.  

Join us for an inspiring conversation with Melissa Llarena, a bestselling author, imagination coach, and speaker, as she shares her insights on the power of imagination and networking. Discover how Melissa turned her dreams into reality, from inviting global celebrities to NYU events to authoring "Fertile Imagination." This episode is a treasure trove of tips for parents, entrepreneurs, and anyone looking to expand their horizons. Whether you're a mom with a vision or someone seeking to unleash your creative potential, Melissa's journey offers valuable lessons on setting goals, building networks, and embracing your unique superpowers. Don't miss this engaging discussion that promises to spark your creativity and encourage you to dream big! Watch now to learn: How to cultivate a fertile imagination The importance of networking and reaching out to mentors Strategies for setting your kids up for global success Connect with Melissa: Visit https://fertileIdeas.com for her podcast and free resources. Follow her on LinkedIn: Melissa Llarena Find her on Instagram for more visual inspiration. Connect with me Become a guest: Podmatch Sign up for Riverside Descript

Melissa Llarena grew up in a very abusive home, and in her need to distract herself from that world, she was able to do what so many of us can't. She focused on her studies and used her power of imagination to thrust herself into a future of hope, wonder, and success. She's now a podcaster, a mom of identical twins, a published author, a coach, and a writer for Forbes with over 4 million readers. This interview will impact your life in ways unimaginable. Come be inspired, LISTEN TODAY!  https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/amandablackwood Find this guest online:  ⁠https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/⁠ ⁠https://www.fertileideas.com ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unimaginable-wellness-for-new-moms-who-are-founders/id1308269140?app=podcast&mt=2⁠ TRIGGER WARNING: In this episode I'm talking with a trauma survivor about their history and recovery. Suicide, child abuse, and PTSD are common themes. Pairing of guest and podcast provided by #PodMatch. To book yourself as a guest through Podmatch sign up using this link: https://www.joinpodmatch.com/amanda I do NOT get paid for the podcast. As always you can support the podcast with PayPal or Venmo donations, or by purchasing one of my books! PayPal authoramandablackwood@gmail.com OR donate through the donation page at https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=9AT5NQ8C474SY Venmo @DetailedPieces Find my books: https://books2read.com/ap/xej5pN/Amanda-Blackwood Sign up for the newsletter and receive a FREE copy of "Detailed Pieces of a Shattered Dream" today! https://dl.bookfunnel.com/oui64pgchc Shop the ABTS Etsy for signed books, original art prints, and more! https://www.etsy.com/shop/LadyBlackwoodShop Get access to previous seasons and exclusive content with a subscription! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/amandablackwood/subscribe NEW!!! Watch this episode on YouTube!https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyX6CW82tzFOqYNBkGixqe81NrdEHJjWD

Send Kiona a Text Message!In this episode, Melissa shares her two personal birth stories of her three boys. She talks about what it was like to give birth for the first time while being induced and then going on to have a precipitous vaginal twin birth the second time around. Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only with no intention of giving or replacing any medical advice. I, Kiona Nessenbaum, am not a licensed medical professional. All advice that is given on the podcast is from the personal experience of the storytellers. All medical or health-related questions should be directed to your licensed provider. Resources:Melissa Llarena: https://www.melissallarena.com/ Mom Founder Imagination Hub (formerly Unimaginable Wellness)https://www.melissallarena.com/podcast/ Perinatal Support of Washington: https://perinatalsupport.org/ Postpartum Support International: https://www.postpartum.netDefinitions:Precipitous BirthVacuum Extraction Delivery Twin-Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS)Monochorionic/diamniotic (mono/di) twinsSupport the Show.Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode! If you like this podcast, don't hesitate to share it and leave a review so it can bring the podcast to the attention of others. If you want to share your own birth story or experience on the Birth As We Know It™️ Podcast, head over to https://birthasweknowitpodcast.com/ or fill out this Guest Request Form. Support the podcast and become a part of the BAWKI™️ Community by becoming a Patron on the Birth As We Know It Patreon Page! And don't forget to join in on the fun in the Private Facebook Group!

Hey there, welcome back to another episode of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub podcast! Today, we're diving into three super common mistakes that mom founders often make when they're reaching out to prospective investors, partners, alliances or even internal sponsors of their business ideas. Trust me, these are totally avoidable! So, let me tell you about this one mom founder I know. She had this amazing idea for a TV show, but when she pitched it, she made a few missteps that could have been easily avoided. First off, she didn't really understand who the decision maker was. Big no-no! It's so important to know who you're talking to and what makes them tick.  Next, she didn't take the time to figure out what actually mattered to the person she was pitching to. You gotta know what their priorities are! And finally, she didn't contextualize her pitch. You can't just throw your idea out there without showing how it fits into the bigger picture i.e. how does your solution fit into your target audience's portfolio or performance goals. Being a mom founder comes with unique challenges, especially when balancing entrepreneurship and family life. I understand completely. That's why I'm here to provide practical advice and support to ensure your next pitch gets you to the bargaining table (vs. is ignored).! In this episode, you will hear: Understanding the decision maker and contextualizing the pitch  Unique challenges faced by mom founders in balancing entrepreneurship and family life Challenges of navigating family life while pursuing entrepreneurship Failure to consider the perspective of the person being pitched to Lack of understanding of what matters to the person being pitched to Contextualizing the pitch to fit the specific industry or sector Need for thorough research and due diligence before reaching out to potential partners or investors Thoughtful and strategic communication in building successful business relationships In the car driving? Pause this episode and write this down. Book a free consult with Melissa this week. Go to www.melissallarena.com/sessions. Let's role-play one conversation you intend to have this week. You are a founder with a baked idea and you are currently in the pitching process whether it's for investment dollars or after you've gotten investment dollars and now you are on the hook for speeding up your business development efforts! You can tell me who I should be in this role-play, and I'll tell you what red flags I hear and whether a VIP day is right for you. Here's what you can expect during your VIP day and I want to be transparent. Spots for my VIP Days are extremely limited. I'm offering just 3 spots this month, and after that, this opportunity may never come around again. This is your chance to fast-track your connections and propel your business forward in just 3 hours.   Here's what you can expect: Tailored Strategy Session: Before the VIP Networking Day, you'll receive a simple questionnaire. This prework is designed to optimize our time together, ensuring every minute counts. We'll dive deep into your business goals, target investors, potential podcast guests/partners, or media contacts, and current networking challenges, setting the stage for maximum productivity. Real-Time Guidance: Once we're live on Zoom, it's all about action. Together, we'll roll up our sleeves and dive into the heart of networking. I won't just talk strategy; we'll implement it in real-time. Using the insights gathered from your prework, we'll identify and reach out to potential investors, podcast guests/partners, or media giants on the spot. You'll witness firsthand how to craft compelling outreach messages and make meaningful connections that matter. Strategic Outreach: Cold outreach can be daunting, but not anymore. With my guidance, you'll confidently reach out to potential investors, podcast guests, or media contacts during our session. Whether it's through email, LinkedIn, or other channels, you'll have a clear plan of action and the confidence to execute it in real-time. Follow-Up Mastery: The conversation doesn't end with the initial outreach. I'll equip you with a follow-up strategy designed to nurture relationships and keep investors, podcast guests/partners, or media contacts engaged. From timely follow-up emails to strategic touchpoints, you'll have all the tools you need to move prospects closer to funding, secure podcast appearances, or establish relationships with influential media personalities. By the end of our VIP Networking Day, you'll feel empowered, energized, and ready to conquer the world of networking. Say goodbye to wasted time and missed opportunities. With our tailored approach, you'll unlock the door to funding success, captivating podcast episodes, or media exposure and propel your business forward. Because this is SO important and so easy to fix….the elevator pitch itself…for starters…..I want you to sign up for the 30-minute complimentary session before you step out there and start pitching yourself to anyone…..let me give you quick tips that can be the difference between getting to pitch your idea or being totally shut out and ignored…..so go to www.melissallarena.com/sessions today....the VIP day are limited and may not be right for you right now but the free sessions are available today…no reason not to share your pitch with me.   About Melissa Llarena   I'm a bestselling author (learn more on www.fertileideas.com), imagination coach behind the Fertile Imagination to Networking Success Group Coaching Program, consultant, speaker, contributor to ForbesWomen articles that have garnered 4 million-plus views, and the podcast host of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub. Featured guests include GaryVee, Beth Comstock, Suzy Batiz, David Meltzer, and hundreds of other unconventional thinkers. Melissa has been featured in the WSJ, Business Insider, Fox Business, CNN Money, The Huffington Post, and other publications. She holds a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate and is training to become a meditation practitioner. Melissa lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and three sons (one singleton and a set of identical twins).   Quotes, that can change your perspective:   “First impressions happen one time, and yes, you can totally turn it around, but you're a mom founder. The time you spent making that first impression, the guts it took to put yourself out there, is something that you're now going to have to work up to yet again.” “When it comes to being a mom founder or being a mom with a business, it is urgent that you really, really stay sharp in terms of coming up with unexpected or new or shortcut ways to reach out to everyone and anyone.” “If you want to do business on your own terms as you have opted to as a mom founder, you don't want to not be yourself when you're doing business. That was part of the purpose of owning your own thing along with solving a challenge, being mission-driven, and heart-centered.” “I know the effort it takes to think through a product, I know the effort it takes to see a product market fit, and I know the effort it's going to take to implement whatever it is that you promise to the people on your list.” SHARE this episode and elevate your business! Master effective networking and pitching by avoiding common mistakes and adopting personalized communication strategies. Make a lasting impression and build meaningful connections and start transforming your pitch today! Supporting Resources:   Schedule a free call to see if Fertile Imagination to Networking Success my signature program is the right fit: https://www.melissallarena.com/sessions/ Podcast: Mom Founder Imagination Hub: https://www.melissallarena.com/podcast/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/MelissaLlarena/ Or, grab for free your copy of the “From Contact to Connection: The Mompreneur's Go-First Networking & Follow Up Playbook”: https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/21e52edb87  Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to my podcast for new moms who are entrepreneurs, founders, and creators?  I'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  I'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast for writer moms.  TRANSCRIPT 00:00:00 Melissa: First impressions happen one time. And yes, you can totally turn around, but you're a Mom Founder. And what distinguishes you versus someone that might not have kids is the fact that that time you spent in making that first impression, the guts it took to put yourself out there, that is something that you're now gonna have to work up to yet again. And it is way harder to constantly fall down and get back up, fall down and get back up when you're navigating family life in parallel. 00:00:39 Melissa: Welcome to the Mom Founder Imagination Hub, your weekly podcast to inspire you to dream bigger. Plan out how you're going to get to that next level in business, find the energy to keep going, and make sure your creative juices are flowing so that this way you get what you really want rather than having to settle. Get ready to discover how mom founders have reimagined entrepreneurship and motherhood.  00:01:01 Melissa: Ever wonder how they do it? Tune in to find out and stretch yourself by also learning from diverse entrepreneurs who might not be moms, but who have lessons you can tailor about how you can disrupt industries and step way outside of your comfort zone. I believe every mom's superpower is her imagination. In this podcast, I'm going to give you the mindset, methods and tools to unleash yours. Sounds good? Then keep listening. 00:01:32 Melissa: Hey there, it's Melissa Llarena, your host of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub. So we're gonna tackle today three avoidable mistakes that often mom founders make right when they begin to outreach their network or talk to complete strangers so that their business can grow. So three avoidable mistakes. Let me share a story first.  00:01:57 Melissa: I had a wonderful conversation the other day with a mom who was so psyched about this TV show that she wants to put out into the world. And she has an outreach list of organizations and different individuals in those organizations that she wants to pitch her idea to. So she's thinking companies like Lego, companies like Hasbro, you get the drip. And here's the thing. She was so excited about her elevator pitch. I mean, she was just so ready to roll with it, and I wanted to hear it. 00:02:32 Melissa: So of course, she went ahead, she memorized it, and I can tell that she spent probably hours upon hours really refining it with her peers. And she said it, and then I kind of felt these like internal crickets. And that brings me to today's episode. I don't want you to make the same mistakes that this super excited, well-intentioned Mom Founder made. 00:03:00 Melissa: The mistake was the following. Once I heard her pitch, I was like, okay, first of all, who was I supposed to be? Like there's some key questions that as you are putting yourself out there, pitching your business idea to potential investors or partners, that you've got to ask yourself. And if you don't actually think about what you're going to say and whether or not is going to resonate with the other person, then you've completely failed. So that was point number one. 00:03:32 Melissa: Who was I supposed to be? I had no idea. I was just listening to the pitch and I was like, wow. My hair felt like wind was blowing, but it was kind of like hot air because I wasn't sure what I was supposed to prioritize in terms of the information that she shared. The other question was, okay, so now that I'm this person in her case, marketing director, let's imagine, then what do you perceive to be so important to me? And in terms of the pitch that this person shared, I didn't really catch that. I wasn't able to discern what she perceived to be important to me.  00:04:08 Melissa: Some other questions. Why would I, someone working for an organization, want to bring on or support a TV show that's not addictive? Now, this was super specific to the sort of content that she had worked really hard on. However, you have to understand, there might be one or two words in your pitch to an investor or a partner that simply don't make sense given that person's key performance indicators. I would want a TV show that's addictive so that this way kids watch it over and over again.  00:04:46 Melissa: But again, if you hadn't done your homework prior to pitching, you might miss that point. And here's something else that came up when her and I were on a 30-minute complimentary session where I was listening to her pitch, this idea. So what problem are you trying to solve in my company? And I think that is something that we often do not think or consider prior to working on our super fancy put together pitches. It is so contextual. And that's why we are here today.  00:05:20 Melissa: So the three avoidable mistakes that you will want to be mindful of if you are pitching a business idea to an organization or to someone that you admire, begin in this very, very clear manner. Know the decision maker. That's one of the three mistakes. So I originally began sharing a bit about the questions I was asking myself after she shared her pitch and I shared with her and I helped guide her. 00:05:51 Melissa: But at the same time, that is the most important thing. You might think to yourself that, okay, my product is amazing, my service is compelling, but at the end of the day, you're talking to a human being that has a filter that is quite precise. Now, if you've pitched an organization, and you have considered an investor profile as like your go-to, who am I pitching sort of document. That's amazing. It's a start, but every single human being with whom you interact is going to have a completely different set of priorities. And you want to be mindful of that.  00:06:32 Melissa: So you want to really know what are the job titles that you're going to encounter pertaining to this pitch? What's common. For example, is this someone that's going to be in a job for two years, 10 years, or six months? You can tell really depending on the functional area of expertise, there's some functions like marketing where the timeframe is really low. What might that mean? That might mean that whatever outcome or whatever sort of impact you intend to make has to be in the very near short term. All of this is to be considered in your pitch. And all of this is to be considered as you go through an outreach networking list.  00:07:15 Melissa: Now, I might be calling it networking. You might call it biz dev. You might call it sales, looking for strategic partnerships. I really see it as one in the same. Why is that? Because you want to find someone with whom you're almost going the same way. It's almost like a hitchhiker. Not to say you do that and that is not safe, but let's just imagine that you're there and you're on a highway. Think locally, wherever you might be, and you're heading in one direction. You're heading north. You want to be sure that you figure out who else is heading north. You would not want to get into a car and start chatting with the driver and saying, oh, hey, why are we going south? I want to go north. That is a lot of effort.  00:08:05 Melissa: So what does that mean? That means that you have to know the person that you are reaching out to on that long list that you probably spent hours trying to put together as a Mom Founder, which i.e. is time away from the kids. And you want to be sure that you're both going in the same direction and you are speaking their language. That brings me to the third big mistake I have noticed when it comes to going through a list of contacts that you would like to pitch your business idea, whether it is for funding or it might be for media placement.  00:08:40 Melissa: It's really interchangeable in terms of the people that you are going to reach out to. But at the end of the day, every single person has something that matters to them that might not be so obvious to you, especially. And this is what I've noticed so much because these are the mom founders that I have partnered with through these years. It's folks that are entering a brand new market, folks that for them, maybe you know, their background was working in one sector, and this is a new sector. 00:09:11 Melissa: So what does that mean? That means that you have to understand what matters to that person and what matters in that market. And what does that mean? That means that if you're talking to someone in procurement, they have a different set of words that they use to quantify success versus if you're talking to someone in finance, versus if you're talking to someone that is at a different level.  00:09:37 Melissa:  So I think it's really important that not just knowing who the decision maker is and actually looking up whether it's LinkedIn, and that's just surface level. There's a lot more research that needs to go into this if you're going through a list where you're asking for thousands of dollars or millions of dollars in investment, but asking at least, let me look at their career background to have a good sense of how they might approach this particular project. Right?  00:10:07 Melissa: Okay, so knowing the decision maker, the second mistake is not understanding what matters to that person. And it could really rely on their functional area of expertise. Again, you're the mom founder, you're an expert in your product or service. However, here's the thing, the person that you're talking to, they have a lot of priorities and they have a lot of different ways of calling success and you need to speak the same language. Otherwise it is like straight up a tower of babble situation. 00:10:37 Melissa: And you do not want that because we all know what happened. Things crumbled and things did not go so well. Okay, so again, what does this person really care about? Right, so knowing what really matters, what do they care about? What is it that they actually call what they care about? So that is mistake number two. 00:10:58 Melissa: So these are the three mistakes that I want you to avoid. And I'll get to number three. When you have a list of contacts that you're going through because you just came up with an invention or you have a business solution or offering that you are ready for funding or to get funding, right? Okay, so mistake number three, contextualizing your pitch. So back to the first story.  00:11:22 Melissa: So there I was listening to this beautiful pitch. I mean, we're talking about perfection. The words were exciting. Everything that she said was compelling to the right person in the right context. However, this person didn't have the expertise of a particular industry. So as you go through your list of contacts and you're there pitching your idea to different organizations or people, there's different things that are going on in different sectors. 00:11:55 Melissa: For example, let's just imagine that you are pitching to one sector and in that sector, you have no idea that this concept that your TV show would not be addictive is absolutely not going to work and not at all the key to success when right now you have a lot of people who's attention is disparate, right? Is in a lot of different places. So here you are saying that, yeah, they're gonna get like one hit of my TV show and that'll be enough and it won't be addictive. Meanwhile, let's imagine as an industry, you need to get people to keep coming back because that is how you organize your ad campaigns with your advertisers, then it's not gonna lay quite right.  00:12:46 Melissa: Okay, so let me get to the point as clearly as possible. Here's the third mistake, so contextualizing your pitch. I wanna share something with you that I learned back in advertising. So I used to work in ad agencies. This was now at least 13 years ago. And I remember working on the IBM account, working on the SAP account, and I remember being told back then, you need to know more about what's happening and what's important to IBM and the tech space than your clients. Same thing with SAP. 00:13:18 Melissa: What does that mean to you, a Mom Founder who has this glorious list that you want to go through but you don't want to burn because you just spent so much time figuring out who the right people might be to shepherd your idea in a big organization. So what does that mean? That means that you need to understand if you need to understand what the drivers are in that sector. You need to understand if there's like new competitors that are just really eroding or just really eating into a market share. You need to also understand how to contextualize what it is that you're offering in the context of their existing portfolio of offerings.  00:14:03 Melissa: Okay, so I said a lot there. There's a lot that needs to happen before you start calling people. I totally get that you might have an investor profile. I get that you have partners that believe so much in your product that they've desired and they've worked for free till this point. But you're going to waste your time, waste your effort and your energy. And I know as a Mom Founder, particularly, you don't got a lot of energy if you do not do this due diligence to a point where at nauseam, you know more about someone's business than they might. 00:14:41 Melissa: However, back to my advertising days, you don't want to show up as arrogant because we always would say, you know more about your business than we do. But that wasn't always the case if I'm being really honest about it. And in your situation, if you're looking to really make a great impression on an organization because you want to partner with them, again, you both have to be going in the same direction. You need to totally understand who you're talking to in terms of how long they're going to be there, how you might want to angle the value that you bring to the table and where you fit in terms of the context of their portfolio. 00:15:20 Melissa: But at the same time you just want to be sure that you have done your homework to a point where again you feel confident and competent that working with you is gonna leave them better off than not working with you in whatever capacity that might be and It takes a lot of practice and I wanted to just kind of go to the very top, your elevator pitch might not be enough. It might not be what is necessary. Every single person that you're talking to, it might completely throw someone off because they'll think that you're talking into some sort of recording, especially if you've recorded it. 00:15:57 Melissa: So you want to be sure that you also bring some stories because oftentimes those resonate a lot more than just statistics and having the right leadership team in place, which I tend to hear a lot. Okay, so here's the story. So risks of not doing your homework. This is personal in the sense that as a podcaster, I'm sure you can imagine how many times I am pitched in terms of podcast guests. And the other day I was looking in my inbox and I noticed someone was pitching me. They were a PR professional so they should have known better. However in terms of time budget, etc., they provided a very generic pitch.  00:16:43 Melissa: So imagine in your situation, right? Again, back to you being a Mom Founder, having a list, having finite time and energy, having spent so much effort upfront, trying to figure out who you're gonna reach out to, but not having done enough effort in terms of researching the three things that I shared with you in terms of the actual people that you're talking to, what actually matters to them, and then also how you fit in the context of like a company's portfolio as an example, and why partnering with you is better than not.  00:17:19 Melissa: Let's imagine this, with this person, this PR person, she was pitching me, again, this is the Mom Founder Imagination Hub podcast. She was pitching me a guy, which 100% I have had men on this podcast, like James Altucher, Gary Vee, et cetera. But she was pitching me a guy that was really all about financial market solutions, having nothing to do with entrepreneurship. And I was just like, what the heck is this? Like, is this even for me? Like you don't want to be that person that emails someone a pitch or jumps on the phone, I know old school, but hey, it still works, and you completely are talking, but the person on the other side is like, why are you calling me?  00:18:08 Melissa: So that is what was happening to me. And that story basically wants to just like reaffirm in you the fact that don't waste your time by not knowing who you're reaching out to at the individual level. And I know it takes a lot of work, a lot of effort. But here's the thing, if you don't do it, this is what happens. All that money, right? And if you think about your time as money, is wasted in terms of the effort that you put to just creating that outreach list. That's one.  00:18:41 Melissa: Here's the other thing, you're gonna burn a bridge because it's going to show that you're not as thoughtful as you truly are. And if you're a Mom Founder, one thing I know about the ones I've worked with, like you are so thoughtful. I mean, when it comes to like the logistics of your family and how you went about, you know, doing market research for your product or figuring out market product fit, I know you're thoughtful. So you wanna be sure that that reputation precedes you, right?  So again, you've gotta do that extra research. You wanna be sure that you are resonating with the person. So you don't want to burn through that contact list if you don't have to. 00:19:21 Melissa: Here's the other idea. Let's imagine that you make that mistake, kind of like that PR agency, right? That was sending me a very random podcast guest proposal. You're gonna have to then, if you're really interested in partnering with a Lego or with a Hasbro, et cetera, you're gonna have to then go back and do some triage. And it's not always possible to like resurrect from some blow paw like that. 00:19:44 Melissa: So I wanna just say, here's the other thing. First impressions happen one time. And yes, you can totally turn around, but you're a Mom Founder. And what distinguishes you versus someone that might not have kids is the fact that that time you spent in making that first impression, the guts it took to put yourself out there, that is something that you're now gonna have to like work up to yet again. And it is way harder to constantly fall down and get back up, fall down and get back up when you're navigating family life in parallel. Just this morning to give you an example.  00:20:27 Melissa: So I have all these podcast episode recordings today. And my son then says to me at 5:00 AM, mind you, mom, I think I have a fever. And I looked at him and I was like, please do not have a fever. That's just like one of the ups and downs. We'll call that a down that is so natural to you that other people might not experience, but your business has to keep going on. So, you know, we have finite energy and finite abilities to get back down and get back up, figure out new ways, different patterns, right? Use our imagination and try other or alternative paths forward. 00:21:08 Melissa: If you've got to do the same thing for being a mom as you do an entrepreneurship, you've got to be sure that you are somehow preventing all of that struggle where you can. You need to be a sane mom. That's what I'm saying. So again, this is avoidable. That's why I have it in this episode. And I really hope that you take it to heart because there's so much that's at stake. If you don't actually consider those three mistakes that I share.  00:21:40 Melissa: So I don't wanna leave you hanging. I think this is so important. I wanna be of service to you because I think that it takes so much guts to just like leave your job, for example, or start a business, especially as a mom. It also is absolutely beautiful that you want to do something that's mission driven. Those are the moms that I work with and I help in terms of really navigating networking and building relationships so that you're in the right rooms, having the right conversations, getting the money that your business idea deserves, that I wanna do this for you. So hear me out.  00:22:17 Melissa: Okay, now let's just imagine that you are in a car right now, so you're driving. So what I will have you do is absolutely bookmark this conversation, but write this down when you have an opportunity in the event that you're on the move. So I offer something called a VIP day. It's a three-hour Zoom session during which time we are going to work through your contact list. But here's the thing. It's even better than that. 00:22:45 Melissa: Not only are we going to work through your contact list, but prior to jumping on Zoom, I'm going to give you some homework that's going to help you thoughtfully not just put together that contact list, but approach your research so that this way you can avoid these three mistakes. I'm also going to make sure that as you approach the different people during our time, that three-hour Zoom time frame, that you're leading with what is going to resonate the most based on a number of criteria that for me and in use with my clients have worked in the past. 00:23:24 Melissa: I mean, it's so predictable in terms of some of the priorities that people actually have, but it's not always obvious on LinkedIn because sometimes people are not that upfront in terms of their agendas. And I'm not using that in a negative way, but I'm sure you get what I'm saying. So there's other sources of research that I will share with you also on that three hours Zoom session. It's a VIP day. Also, it's really about making sure that we have woken up your imagination. That is the name of this podcast. And I stand on that.  00:23:58 Melissa: When it comes to being a Mom Founder or being a mom with a business, it is urgent that you really, really stay sharp in terms of coming up with unexpected or new or shortcut ways to reach out to everyone and anyone. And again, relationships is absolutely critical when it comes to building your business and making sure that your message gets out to as many human beings as possible. So you wanna be sure that you're doing it from a place of expansive thinking. You're doing it from a place of, okay, this person is gonna expect me to reach out to them on, as an example, Instagram, but I'm gonna come in through this side door, right? Which has worked for me and my clients as well. 00:24:44 Melissa: So let me share an example. I had a client that actually wanted to reach out to insurance companies. And it was really interesting because this was completely new to her. She owns a nonprofit. And so she reached out to an insurance company and she was baffled that the person on the other side of the email got back to her almost like in an hour, okay? He got back to her in an hour. Why was that? It was because she realized that this person would be, A, in a position of power.  00:25:13 Melissa: So people do want to be helpful. So you want to make sure you're asking the right people who can help you. But then at the same time, her email was personal. It resonated, and it was thoughtful. It was in alignment with what's important to an insurance organization. And she had to do some research in order to uncover precisely what that was in this market. Sorry to say, but sometimes different times of the year, different things are important and different trends will influence whether or not what was important, you know, last trend is in season this trend.  00:25:45 Melissa: So again, there's a lot that needs to happen, but we can cover that during the three hours together over Zoom. Here's what else happens during that three hour session, the VIP session with me for Mom Founders. So you and I are gonna roll up our sleeves. Like literally, if I have long sleeves, or metaphorically, if I do not, we're going to actually start emailing and reaching out to people live because I need to see, like, what do your subject lines actually say? Are they generic or compelling? How is it that you're positioning what you intend behind the conversation with that contact, right?  00:26:20 Melissa: So it's about authenticity, but it's also about being direct and infusing your personality. Because if you wanna do business on your own terms, as you have opted to as a mom founder, you don't want to not be yourself when you're doing business. Like that was part of the purpose of owning your own thing, along with solving a challenge, along with being mission driven and heart centered and wanting to see impact in the slice of the world that matters to you. 00:26:51 Melissa: So here we go. Call for you to reach out to me so I can help you so that you do not make those mistakes. You do not burn through a list of contacts if you have a business idea or already a business in market that you want to get funding for, or you want to leverage some sort of strategic partnership, be sure that you take advantage of this. And it is the following. So I do have those VIP days, but this offer right now is for free. 00:27:20 Melissa: Go to melissallarena.com/sessions. You will have an opportunity to apply for a 30-minute complimentary session, during which time I'm going to help you by role playing and hearing what you have to offer in terms of your business pitch, in terms of your origin story, in terms of what you intend out of a conversation with a decision maker, right? All pertaining to your business. So go ahead to melissallarena.com/sessions. There is an application and here's the reason why an application is going to be absolutely helpful to you.  00:28:02 Melissa: When you start to put pen to paper or technically type out your answers in the application, you also start to clarify what you need to happen in terms of the people that you wanna talk to, in terms of your very best next steps. And in terms of your own business, putting pen to paper has been the absolute life-giving solution for me when it comes to ironing out my thoughts. And it's better for you to do that on my application than to do it in front of someone that can give you money.  00:28:38 Melissa: So go ahead, melisallarena.com/sessions, and you will see the link here. What I invite you to really consider is, okay, bring forth your story, bring with you your idea in terms of the investor profile. Be sure that you tell me who I'm supposed to be. I want you to know also what is going to be important to me and how whatever it is that you've got is going to help me and fix in my existing portfolio. So have that already in mind, be prepared. It is going to be a great session. And that is for free. That is 30-minute session for free.  00:29:20 Melissa: At that time, at the very end, after you have your answers, I will absolutely invite you to join me during one of the VIP sessions. Those VIP sessions, I only do three spots every single month. I'm sure you can understand as a mom with kids yourself, what I do is really, really important in terms of helping moms specifically as flexibly as possible. So it could be an evening time or a weekend time or chunk of time. And for me, three hours each month is what I can do in terms of VIP days.  00:29:58 Melissa: You get to choose if it's the right fit, I get to choose if you're the right fit and I can help you and we will take it from there. So I'm really excited about these VIP sessions, but more than that, I wanna hear from you and I don't want you to make a mistake in terms of burning through a contact list. I know the effort it takes to think through a product. I know the effort it takes to see a product market fit. And I know the effort it's going to take to implement whatever it is that you promise to the people on your list.  00:30:29 Melissa: So be sure that you take advantage of the 30-minute session with me. It is complimentary. You'll have the link here. It'll also be in the show notes if you are just listening to this conversation. And then we could certainly talk about whether a VIP day is the right next step for you. No strings attached. You are very welcome to attend a 30-minute session with me. I want to be sure that we avoid as many mistakes as possible when it comes to working through an outreach list. I want you to have so much success.  00:31:03 Melissa: And until Tuesday, let me know what you got out of this conversation, you are more than welcome to leave some comments. If you're watching this on YouTube, you're also welcome to share this with a friend, because here's the thing, Mom Founders know other Mom Founders. And if anyone is interested in actually pitching investors or securing strategic partnerships with people in different organizations or different organizations, you want to be sure that they have the greatest odds of success.  00:31:31 Melissa: So go ahead and share this episode. It's also in audio. And if you're interested in that 30-minute consult, it is available to you. And no strings attached, as I mentioned. So thank you for this conversation. And thank you. Until next Tuesday, go ahead and subscribe. Follow me officially, because next Tuesday, we're going to go through an actual interview with an investor. Stay tuned. Signing off, Melissa Llarena.

When you're in the trenches raising kids, it can feel like the busiest, hardest season of life. Now, imagine trying to start and run a business at the same time? I think my son, Cory, would say that's low key insane. He'd also hate me claiming to know what he'd say and attempting to use his lingo…whatevs:). And just like it rarely feels like a perfect time to get pregnant but you go for it anyway, same same when it comes to starting a business. Turns out the pack leadership skills that work so well for raising a family are also really good for helping you nurture an entrepreneurial business! In this week's podcast episode, listen to my conversation with fellow mom of three, podcaster and author, Melissa Llarena, as we dive into all things parenting and business ownering. If you've been putting your dreams on hold, listen now.In this episode, you'll learn:Why it's so important for busy moms to own and celebrate their own accomplishments.How to identify what lights you up, and give yourself permission to go for it.The powerful lessons we teach our kids when we allow ourselves to follow our dreams.Why the vision you have for your home, family, business, and life is worth fighting for.And much more! As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-293About Randi RubensteinRandi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.She's the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.Randi's Web and Social LinksWebsite: https://mastermindparenting.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparentingInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/About Melissa LlarenaMelissa is an author, imagination coach, consultant, speaker, and contributor to ForbesWomen. She also hosts the podcast Unimaginable Wellness, for entrepreneurs, founders, and creators who are also moms. Her book is Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact. https://fertileideas.comhttps://www.melissallarena.com/podcast/ Resources Discussed/LinksOur 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now available as a 100% online self-study course! https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/Live assessment:

Show notes: https://www.tamihackbarth.com/blog/episode-224 I have been meeting with tons of interesting women doing amazing work in the world, taking a class on branding, preparing for a couple of speaking events and handling some big parenting challenges. In other words, I am ready for a little R&R this weekend for Mother's Day.  So many have told me lately that all they want for Mother's Day is some silence and solitude, perhaps a meal they don't have to think about or clean up after.  Me too! So that's what I requested from my family. I will also be reading by a pool and swimming. Nice way to spend a Sunday if you ask me. So excited to share my interview with Melissa Llarena. We talked about how our imagination is the secret weapon to getting the life and career you want. I love how her mind thinks! Melissa's creativity, imagination and determination have helped her connect with some of the biggest thought leaders. Melissa Llarena is a bestselling author, imagination coach, consultant, speaker, contributor to ForbesWomen articles that have garnered 4 million-plus views.   Melissa is also the host of Unimaginable Wellness, the podcast for entrepreneurs, founders, and creators who are moms. Featured guests include Gary Vee, Beth Comstock, Suzy Batiz, David Meltzer, Jordan Harbinger, Kanika Chadda Gupta, Angela Middleton MBE (i.e., Member of the British Empire), Ken Honda, and hundreds of other unconventional thinkers. Melissa has been featured in the WSJ, Business Insider, Fox Business, CNN Money, The Huffington Post, and other publications. She holds a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate. She is also training to become a meditation practitioner.  Melissa lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and three sons (one singleton and a set of identical twins). 

In this episode, our guest Melissa Llarena and I explore how the experiences of motherhood can be leveraged in professional settings, plus using creativity and imagination as competitive advantages. Melissa shares her journey from leaving a corporate career to starting her own coaching business, highlighting the need for mothers to balance personal and professional lives all while staying authentic. We also discuss the importance of making strategic choices and connections to achieve individual ambitions. Connect with Melissa:Website: https://www.melissallarena.com/Instagram: @melissallarenaPodcast: Unimaginable WellnessLinkedinSupport the Show.Connect with Ashley: Website: https://dovetaildesigns.coSupport AND/BOTH: Help us offset production costs while we're growingDovetail® Schedule Academy: https://dovetaildesigns.co/dovetail-schedule-academy Caregiver by Dovetail® App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dovetail-co/id6449788093 Social:Instagram: @dovetaildesigns.co TikTok: @dovetaildesigns.coFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/dovetaildesigns.coLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyblackington/

Ever feel that pang of guilt when you finally score a kid-free getaway with girlfriends? How about when you go away to a conference and that means missing your son's trumpet solo? Big confession. I recently went to a conference and missed my kid's solo. Yep, I felt mom guilt especially while I watched the livestream, but as a mom of three, I knew I was doing my best and that this conference (ironically the Mom 2.0 conference) was a big deal for my book and business. And (further justifications) it wasn't an on-stage solo in front of an audience...it was a Saturday morning classroom solo in front of a teacher. All of this to say, yes, mom guilt still continues to pop up for me when I pick career over family (and it doesn't even happen a lot!), and yet it's a constant juggle. So imagine this: what if you had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to live in another country without your family to explore your childhood career dreams? Sounds impossible? Would that make you feel guilty? This episode tackles the monster called "mom guilt." Enter Alicia Fernandez Miranda, a super-achiever mom of twins who decided to hit pause on her high-powered CEO career at 40. We delve into her story and ask the lingering questions: Does mom guilt ever truly fade? Is self-care a selfish act, or a necessity? Most importantly, can our actions teach our kids valuable life lessons that words simply can't? Tune in to episode 225 for an honest conversation that will empower you to embrace motherhood on your own terms. Let's connect on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ In This Episode You Will Uncover: -How to navigate the guilt of pursuing your own passions as a mom, especially if it means taking time away from your family. -The importance of role modeling and showing your children how to live a fulfilling life, even if it means taking risks. -Why it's better to try something and fail than to never try anything at all. This Episode is Perfect For You If: -You're a mom who feels stuck in a rut and longs to pursue your own interests. -You're wondering if it's possible to chase your dreams while still being a good parent. -You're looking for inspiration to break free from self-doubt and create a life you love. Key Points: -Many moms struggle to find inspiration for pursuing their own dreams because the media often portrays women who achieve success without children. -The guilt of leaving your family can be a major obstacle, but sometimes the risk of not following your dreams is greater. -By taking action and showing your children how to live a fulfilling life, you can inspire them to do the same. -It's okay to fail, and in fact, it can be a valuable learning experience. Taking time for yourself can ultimately make you a better parent. This episode is brought to you by Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact, which reached the #1 spot as an Amazon bestseller in both the motherhood and women and business categories! Woo hoo! And if this episode deeply resonates with you, then you are definitely invited to read my book, Fertile Imagination! In my humble opinion, I believe double-fisting Alisha's book The What If Year and mine, Fertile Imagination, would make for an epically fun weekend of reading. Dive into Alisha's adventures and live vicariously through a fellow mom, and then turn to my personal framework to help you think about your best first step on getting your imagination fired up about your own adventure! As I alluded to earlier, this episode tackles the struggle of mom guilt that tugs at our hearts, even when we deserve a getaway or break from adulting! I've been there too! Moreover, I, Melissa, share a vulnerable moment straight from my book, Fertile Imagination, where I spent Sundays unlocking a surprising talent. And guess what? It was totally worth it! Intrigued to discover your own hidden mom superpower? Head over to https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas/ and grab a FREE chapter of Fertile Imagination. It's your guide to maximizing your impact as a mom. Imagine achieving goals you never thought possible, all while rocking motherhood on YOUR terms. Download your free chapter today and ignite your fertile imagination! https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas/   Official bio for Alicia Fernandez Miranda ALISHA FERNANDEZ MIRANDA is the author of My What If Year, featured on Good Morning America, CNN, MSNBC, NPR and as one of People's Best Books. She is the host of podcasts Extra Shot with Alisha Fernandez Miranda and the award-winning Quit Your Day Job. Alisha also serves as chair and former CEO of I.G. Advisors, a social impact intelligence agency that consults with the world's biggest nonprofits, foundations, and corporations on their philanthropy and social initiatives. A graduate of Harvard University and the London School of Economics, her writing has appeared in Vogue, Marie Claire, Insider, Romper and Huffington Post. Originally from Miami, Alisha currently lives in Scotland with her husband and children. Follow Alisha on Instagram @alishafmiranda and her website at www.alishafmiranda.com. TRANSCRIPT Alicia Fernandez Miranda. I am excited to have you on the podcast, and I feel like you need to like stamp my passport. Where are we going? Where are you located? Let's chat. Let's chat. Thank you so much, Melissa, for having me. I am in Edinburgh, Scotland right now. Behind me, it's like hurricane force winds blowing outside, which is sort of typical, typical Wednesday for January in Scotland. Yeah, kind of, sort of like, uh, Canada, actually,  so it's, it's interesting, but Alicia, I am so excited to have you here. When I saw your profile, cause I know you're going to be attending probably like mom 2. 0, right? Yes, I'm going to be there this year. I was like, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. There's like this like twinsie of me somewhere in, in Europe. So that's a good thing. Cause I want to eventually land there. But when I saw that you wrote the book, my what if year, I was just like, Holy mother of guacamole. This is so cool. Like, this is like really, really cool. So why don't you share with listeners just a little bit about my what if year, and then we'll go into maybe like what has stopped a lot of moms from pursuing their own what if years. Totally. So  I guess the story really kind of started for me in 2019. I was living in London. I had done the expat thing. I grew up in Miami  and moved to London in 2008. I was the mom of my twins who were eight years old at the time. I was CEO of a business I had founded with my husband and we were kind of consulting to the biggest foundations and wealthy people, companies, nonprofits, all on social impact and philanthropy and how to give away money a bit better, which was an interesting job. And I sort of, I had done. All of the things that I had said I was going to do in my life. I had my list. I had checked everything off my list and I found myself approaching 40 and thinking, oh my God, is this really where I want to be? Then of course, feeling horribly guilty about. Thinking, is this really where I want to be? Which we can definitely talk about. Cause I think a lot of moms can relate to that.  And I just sort of had this moment where I was like, what, what, what were all the things that I didn't do that I had maybe always wanted to do? And is it really too late to try them? Or could I do this crazy thing, which is to take a year and through a series of little small. Sabbaticals, I was calling them, could I go try out all the jobs I wanted to do when I was a kid and never got a chance to do the things that I really loved, like working on a musical or working in the art industry. And so that was my what if year. It was an attempt to explore these paths that I never got to explore and to do internships at the jobs I had always dreamed of doing. So all of that sounds like so theoretically amazing. It's like, I want to just the, the abort mission, but, and I guess you could say on life and I just want to go and be in Cirque du Soleil. That's what I wanted to do. Actually. I have that in my own book, fertile imagination. I didn't do it just let's just to be clear. You haven't done it yet. That's true. I am working on mobility, so you never know what's up for me. But that was like my thing, right? I was like, Oh, how cool would it be Cirque du Soleil?  And, and I have other, I have a list of other things too, but there was, there was nothing, I never saw any woman, certainly any mom, Nor any Latina do something where she was away from her kids for such a long time during a time when they still needed her,  right? And 40, my goodness. So 40 years old, like how far could someone go 40? I'm just curious from your own perspective, like what sort of things were like, okay. Within the realm of possibilities for a mom versus what you did. I mean, it's such a good question because the guilt was real and the  feeling that my primary responsibility was always to my family, no matter what, even if that meant putting myself further down the list. It was just, I had just accepted that. I had accepted that that was the case. Without really stopping to think, what are the implications on my family? If I am a person who is not happy with my life and not feeling complete in myself or full in myself. So, I mean, of course, who are the people that had done this kind of like, They press the abort button on their life, right? Okay, you have like Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote Eat Pray Love, not Latina. Didn't have kids, I don't think either.  But she went, she took a year. She went to eat pasta in Italy and to India. And then she went to Bali and fell in love with a hot surfer. And that was the end of that book. But that was not a possibility for me. Neither was the Cheryl Strayed Wild. Also not Latina. Also no children. Because there was no way I was going to sleep in a tent for like a year at a time. But again, she left to deal with her grief. And she walked the Pacific Coast, the Pacific Crest Trail. And this idea of literally blowing up my whole life, that was off the table for me. Because I love my children. I love my husband. And I was so conscious that whatever I did was going to be  at best inconvenient for them. And at worst, a really big deal. for their day to day lives, if I was going to leave and go try these things. And so I was very, very conscious of that. It wasn't like I was just like, Meh, screw you all, like I'm going off to Italy to eat all the pasta. So when I started thinking about what this experience was going to be for me, I had a plan. I had, Months of planning, of fitting everything in, of figuring out who was going to pick up my kids from dance and soccer on the different days when my husband had to work, of organizing everything, of figuring out how to do my internships at the same time as their vacations from school, so they could come with me and join me. This was like a beautiful color coded plan because I wasn't willing. To really throw their happiness out. I could never, I could never have done that to them and I couldn't have enjoyed myself if I knew that that was the case. Now, of course, I say all of this and then I'll tell you my first internship started on February 29th, 2020. So all of my careful plans went completely out the window as soon as the pandemic hit, but definitely.  I was very, I was putting myself first, but only to a certain extent. I was very conscious that I didn't want my kids and my husband to be collateral damage somehow to my desire to go and chase these opportunities.   And it's so interesting because it's, it's true. Like, it's like, who is it that you look towards as inspiration for what's possible in your life? And me too, for, for some odd reason, I don't know if it's just like a quirk, but like, I look at these like billionaires that have no children whatsoever that are men as like, Oh, why can't I be like Tom Bilyeu?   And it's like, Hello, you have three kids, two of whom are identical twins who are 10 years old. You live in Austin and there's just no way for you to create a fitness bar or a protein bar without high fructose corn syrup without breaking some nails, right? Cause the machinery that Tom  broke and used, I wouldn't do.   So it's, it's just a weird, it's super weird, right? Like what a, what an interesting thing to kind of compare yourself. Those articles that are like advice from successful CEOs. And one of the things that, and they're almost always men. And one of the things that they'll say is get up an hour early, get up at 5 AM to start working and start your day and exercise and clear your head.   And I'm like, if I'm getting up early, I'm making breakfast for people. I'm feeding the dog. The kids are getting ready for school. So that's, that's not possible in my life. I think you can be a successful CEO, by the way. And still have all those responsibilities, but that model, that inspiration, it's, it's not really meant, I think, for people like us, at least it hasn't been historically.   Yeah, which is why we have to kind of carve our own path. So as a mom with two kids who were eight years old, who started this adventure right when the pandemic hit ultimately. And at that, you started with. theater as your first internship, which I think listeners can now appreciate had a big hiatus, right?   During that time,  how did you sort of navigate the mom guilt? And then also just like the regular guilt, because this was a very unique timeframe. And I'm saying that 1000 times unique once in a lifetime  timeframe. Right. As far as being away from family when there was a lot of uncertainty and fear. So why don't you share a couple of stories about that?   I felt,  I felt, I felt so guilty at every point. I mean, I felt guilty for even thinking that I maybe wanted to. A life that looked different because I had been brought up to always be grateful and appreciative of what you have and what you have been given. My dad was a Cuban immigrant. I grew up in a family where that story of we left everything to come here and give you a better life.   And you need to work hard to get to the point where you don't ever have to do that and be appreciative and grateful for everything we've done and what you have. That was my. like cornerstone mythology of my entire childhood. So I felt guilty even for, for thinking.  This thought that I was unhappy, that was like something that I shouldn't be, I shouldn't be thinking that.   That's just being ungrateful for everything I have. And so I felt guilty even from the inception. I felt guilty about doing something that was about putting my needs, even for a short period of time ahead of my family, even though I did not abandon them completely.  I felt guilty about all of those things.   And I like to joke always that my dad is Cuban and grew up Catholic. My mom is Jewish. And so I have the most guilt. I have Catholic guilt and Jewish guilt. It's like all the guilt forever.  But at the same time, I could recognize, finally, after a lot of thinking and soul searching, that I was not in a good place in myself.   I was not happy. I was not being the best mom I could be, or the best wife I could be, or the best me that I could be. Because I felt like I was treading water in my own life, and I was living a life that I had signed up for, but wasn't right for me anymore. And so, really, I got to the point where it felt like the risk of not doing something was greater than the risk of doing something.   And this worry that I was always going to feel this way, or maybe even worse, became so great that I just knew, I That it was going to be worth the kind of short term inconvenience for my family as it, as it was going to be worth it to have this experience. Now, right before I left, like the night before I left, my husband and I were sitting on the sofa, and at the time, You're thinking back like late February 2020, China had already been in lockdown for a month.   Italy had gone into lockdown. Iran was, I think, in some sort of lockdown. But there was still, people were still saying like, oh, it's going to be contained to these three countries. This is not going to spread. It's going to be very small. The idea that the pandemic would have happened on such a scale was so far from our heads.   But I did have a conversation with my husband and I said, do you not want me to go? Do you want me to stay behind?  And then I held my breath. Because I was so worried he was going to say, yeah, I think you should stay, which I was going to be devastated if that was the case. Theater was like my dream, the dream of the all the dreams.   It was the dream to be able to be part of a production. And I had these incredible opportunities to be part of two shows about to open on Broadway and off Broadway. And so I went and then. The whole time I was there, I kind of had my fingers in my ears until the very end. Things were getting worse.  My husband was definitely freaking out.   And I was like, nothing's happening.  Everything's fine. This is all going to blow over. It's not going to be a big deal. And it wasn't until things got really bad. That I decided to leave. And then the following day, before I got on my plane, they announced that all the Broadway theaters were closing for what was initially going to be a period of, I think, four weeks.   And then of course ended up being, I want to say 21 months altogether before everything got back to normal. normal.  But yeah, I mean, I was a little bit in denial and I, I, the thing is I felt guilty anyway. I felt guilty, but I did it anyway. Right? Like that's how I navigated the guilt. I never stopped feeling guilty.   I just knew that it was important. And so I was able to push the guilt to the side. and do what I knew I needed to do.  Yeah, and,   and I was wondering about that. So like, kind of like exposure therapy, like, do you feel that it got a little bit easier the first time you're like, Oh, okay, everybody survived.   And then the next time and the next time. So do you feel like it got easier during that time?   I don't know. I don't know that it's gotten easier. The first time I went on a work trip after the twins were born, they were about  not quite 18 months old, I think. And I had a new job that I had started and I went to China and my husband was in, we were in London at the time with the kids and I flew for a kajillion hours to get there.   I got there like in the middle of the night and I pick up the phone to call home and it's like a disaster zone at home. Like, They've already been to the, the emergency doctor with my daughter who has like a horrible cough and her nose is blocked and she can't breathe the, and now Carlos is starting to feel sick and I was so upset and like, I have to get on, I have to get on a plane home.   I have to go home right away. And of course I couldn't do that. I had other responsibilities. He was like, look, it's going to be fine. You don't need to come home. You're not going to get home in time anyway. Continue with this trip. So I've always had that fear that something has gone wrong. And sometimes stuff has.   I went to Paris once on a girl's trip with my daughter and my son broke his arm. And thank God he didn't need surgery, but he was in the emergency room with my husband for several, I mean, like stuff has gone wrong. Even in the book, as soon as I get to New York on my internship, my kids have terrible food poisoning and they have thrown up all over the house.   They're all three in bed together, my husband and the twins and. He eventually they had to get that room professionally cleaned before I got home because it was so it was so disgusting. Okay, so stuff goes wrong. It does go wrong. It still goes wrong, and I don't know that it gets easier because my kids are 12 now, and for whatever reason, it feels like they miss me more sometimes when I go away.   Now, I don't know if it's that they're better able to articulate how they're feeling than they were when they were little or what. So it's it's.  I know that things are going to be okay. That has changed. I know the more times I do it, that everybody will survive. But I'm not sure it really gets easier. The thing that is easier is that I've seen The positive impact of taking these moments for myself, whether it's a work trip that I need to do, or just going to spend a weekend with my girlfriends because I haven't seen them in a long time, or sometimes meeting my parents somewhere that I wasn't able to do.   I mean, they're so rejuvenating. They helped me reset. They helped me come back into my life and myself, uh, feeling better and doing better all around. And I think that's, what's gotten easier because I know that it's worth it. Yeah.  So even if I still feel guilty about leaving them and I still worry about what's going to go wrong, I know now that I've done it so many times for really fantastic experiences that I would do it again.   And I think anyone that's listening, that's inspired by this, I think you don't have to necessarily. Go away for an entire year. We could do this like baby steps. What I mean? It's like you nurse your kid or you bottle feed your kid and then you introduce solid slowly. So it's kind of the same idea for us.   I know in my case, in my book, Fertile Imagination, like I decided to actually take storytelling classes at Magnet Theater in Midtown in Koreatown. Love it. Yeah. And it was nine Sundays and I was coming from Connecticut. I like to call it fancy town, Connecticut, and it was a schlep, right? And so the whole idea is I know that on Sunday, technically, if I followed a certain script, like I was supposed to be at home, I don't even know, either washing the walls or like being at a soccer field or like something, right?   Making pancakes for somebody, for sure.   Right, in the shape of their desired animal farm person, right? Or whatever. I'm thinking dinosaurs and I'm just saying animal farm. I'm like, I'm a city girl. I can't help it. So yeah. And it's kind of like just doing that, like on weekends, for goodness sakes, it's not saying I'm out an entire year, but you could work your way up.   If you start noticing that, wait a minute, when I got back home and I saw my kids, I was happier.  I had stories to tell, what I mean? So there, there are benefits and it's not all one sided, but it takes courage because then, yeah, maybe, maybe you are not the mom who's doing the things with the other moms and you might feel a little bit like an outsider, but again, was it worth it?   And what I'm hearing from you, Alicia, is that it was worth it to actually take action in your life that might go against what. Other individuals may have done before with children that are Latina. And so I'm curious in terms of really what your, my, what if your experience showed your kids, like, why do you, what do you think is the difference?   Right? Cause we could tell our kids like, Hey, when you turn 40. I mean, granted it's very far ahead, but like 40, that's so old. I know. Right. So, okay, fine. So, Hey, when you go to college, you could do a gap year, for example. Right. Like that's something that I've heard people say, and, and that's one thing, right, you're saying it to them, but what if you actually like did it yourself?   And so for you, Alicia, like, I know they're still young, they're 12, but what do you think is the difference between showing versus telling? A. K. also how to write a good   book.  I mean, I think, okay. So I remember like when my kids were, when they were babies, I was like, I'm never going to let them eat like junk food because I grew up only eating junk food, but if I eat junk food, my kids, turns out they also like some junk food.   Now we don't eat a lot of junk food, but. There's only a certain point that you can tell your kids, wouldn't you rather have this carrot stick than a pack of McDonald's French fries. If you're sitting there eating the McDonald's French fries, they're going to realize that maybe you're not being completely true and authentic to yourself.   So I do think that kids receive information so much better. From modeling and from you showing them how to do it. And the thing is that my kids went on this journey with me. They were, I was away for different parts of it, but even the times that I wasn't with them, we were talking on the phone every day and then I would come home and talk to them about what I was doing.   And subsequently they got to come on my book tour. They've heard, heard me talk about this book more than I'm sure they'd ever liked to in the world, but they. watched me decide to do something different. They watched me try my hand at these varied jobs, many of which I was very bad at, like very, very bad at.   And they watched me fail, and they watched me dust myself off and stand back up and go back the next day and do the thing.  To me, that is the most important lesson that I hope they have taken from this and that I try to instill on them is that  it is better to try something and fail at it than to not try anything at all.   That you are not going to be good at everything and that's okay. And that the most important thing in your life is not necessarily picking the job, doing it perfectly and sticking with it on that path, no matter what happens, then no matter how you feel and that they know that when they're adults and hopefully have families of their own, that they are important people, both my son and my daughter and their needs also matter.   And I just was in the U S last week. Doing a bunch of different work things and some fun book stuff and my son and I had, I had, I did a talk at the IFC, the International Finance Corporation for my what if year, it was amazing. And the day before my son was like, why can't you just tell them you're sick and cancel and come home early because I want you to come home so you can come and see my hockey match.   And I was like, okay, so not only would that be. Completely setting aside my responsibilities, but also I want to be here. This is important to me. I want to be able to share this experience with people. This is why I did it. Why I wrote the book. Not why I did the internships, but why I wrote the book. And so, no, I'm not going to tell them I'm sick and come home early because this is important to me.   And making sure that they are seeing me choose myself sometimes, I am hoping is going to give them that Permission or awareness that when they get to a point in their lives, when they are caring for other people, too, that they know they also can choose themselves sometimes. And that's okay.   Yeah, I love it.   I think, I think what you said as far as like the, they saw you maybe like,  Either fail or, or have errors and stuff, but then like, decide to like, get back up again, like watching you do that. I don't think it, I don't think it could be replaced with words. I mean, that's like resilience in action. That's resilience while mommy ing.   Yeah, resilience while mommy ing, I love it.   Yeah. Yeah. And, and it's just like, it's beautiful. And, and I witnessed it with my own mom because she has a mental illness. And so every time she'd get into an episode, she had to like dust herself off in, in very dramatic ways. But then it gives you a sense as a kid, it's like, huh, I'm related to that.   Maybe I got a little bit of that in me too. Right.   100%. There's beauty. That's how I, I think, I think that  a large part of the reason I have  such resilience, and I do feel like I'm a very resilient person, so far so good, is because I came from a family that I, I grew up hearing all of the stories of my grandmother, my dad, and his siblings, and my, my grandfather, and how they, how they, you know, Left everything behind.   They left Cuba with a suitcase each and nothing else and moved to a country where they didn't speak the language and they had to just pick themselves up and they had, they had no other choice but to do that. And that, knowing that that's part of me, that's inside of me somewhere,  has always made me feel A lot more capable of dealing with challenge, I think, because I know there's got to be something in there that came from them that is propelling me forward.   And I know that I have that, and I want my kids to know that's part of who you are. You come from a long line of people who have failed at things and had to move forward, and that is, I think, the best gift that I could give them, if that's a realization that they take from this whole thing. Definitely. I love it.   Alicia, where can people continue to follow your story and purchase the My What   If Year book?  Well, you can get my book anywhere that you get books. You can get it at a bookstore. You can get it online at bookshop. org or Amazon if you want. You can listen to me on audiobook if you enjoy this. It's me reading it, so it's basically just like nine hours of this or however long the book goes for.   And you can find me on my website, which is aliciafmiranda. com or my Instagram at aliciafmiranda. And that's A L I S H A I'm named after a shoe store. It's not because that name has anything to do with anything else.   I love it. Fun facts. Appreciate it so much, Alicia. Have an awesome Scottish day.   Yeah, well, let's see if I can survive the wind and rain.   Thank you so much for having me. Oh, thank you.   You're awesome.  That was great.   Here are the three things that really stood out for me in terms of this conversation. The first one is, it's true. I have seen a lot of non Latina moms who decide to actually go and live in Europe or press abort mission on their lives, like that we see in the media.   But there's not too many Latina moms who have been portrayed, not even in Hollywood, as making this idea okay to choose yourself every once in a while and not have to struggle with so much mom guilt and let it hold you back. Second point is there is this point where if you really think about it, When you weigh the risk of doing something for yourself versus not doing something for yourself, there's that, that point where the risk of not doing it might outweigh the risk of doing it and the inconvenience of doing it.   When I lived in Australia with my family, when we all went abroad, it was highly inconvenient to sell every single article of furniture that I had. It was highly inconvenient to find brand new schools, but The risk of not doing it would have meant that my kids would have never been exposed to a completely different culture or side of the world.   And for that, I'm grateful. Here's the third point. In terms of, you know, does it get easier, right, with mom guilt. So Alicia said it best in that it might not get easier, but you do appreciate the fact that things will be okay.  Having more. evidence that things will be okay if you choose yourself and you're away from your kids just builds your confidence and gives you this sense that, okay, I might be feeling this emotion of mom guilt.   However, as in the past, things have been okay. So I hope you enjoyed this conversation. And I want to hear from you. Like, do you suffer from mom guilt? Is it particularly hard or when it's unrelated to doing something that you have to do, like building your business? Like, what if you wanted to all of a sudden take tennis lessons?   Like, is that the point where thickly? Let me know on Instagram at Melissa Llarena. I would love to hear from you.

Meet Melissa Llarena! Another great connection I made at PodFest 2024 with her own Bosshole® experiences that have shaped a really unique message and methodology for Mom Entrepreneurs.  This is a special episode for all our working Moms out there in The Bosshole® Transformation Nation!Click HERE for Melissa's book "Fertile Imagination - Every Mom's Superpower"Click HERE to check out the Unimaginable Wellness podcastClick HERE for Melissa's websiteClick HERE for Melissa's LinkedIn profileClick HERE for Melissa's free webinar Mom Mogul MakeoverClick HERE to schedule a free 30-minute Business Goal Progress Analysis & Course Correct sessionHERE ARE MORE RESOURCES FROM REAL GOOD VENTURES:Never miss a good opportunity to learn from a bad boss...Click HERE to get your very own Reference Profile.  We use The Predictive Index as our analytics platform so you know it's validated and reliable.  Your Reference Profile informs you of your needs, behaviors, and the nuances of what we call your Behavioral DNA.  It also explains your work style, your strengths, and even the common traps in which you may find yourself.  It's a great tool to share with friends, family, and co-workers.Follow us on Twitter HERE and make sure to share with your network!Provide your feedback HERE, please!  We love to hear from our listeners and welcome your thoughts and ideas about how to improve the podcast and even suggest topics and ideas for future episodes.Visit us at www.realgoodventures.com.  We are a Talent Optimization consultancy specializing in people and business execution analytics.  Real Good Ventures was founded by Sara Best and John Broer who are both Certified Talent Optimization Consultants with over 50 years of combined consulting and organizational performance experience.  Sara is also certified in EQi 2.0.  RGV is also a Certified Partner of Line-of-Sight, a powerful organizational health and execution platform.  RGV is known for its work in leadership development, executive coaching, and what we call organizational rebuild where we bring all our tools together to diagnose an organization's present state and how to grow toward a stronger future state.

Welcome to episode 223. Do you rush to fix your child's mistakes, shielding them from failure?  Many moms do!  Maybe it's a forgotten homework assignment or a missed deadline.  This episode is your guide! New York Times bestselling author Jessica Lahey shares a relatable story of when she had to decide: intervene and save her daughter, or let her face the consequences of forgetting homework.  In this episode, you'll learn: •    How Jessica handled the homework situation (and the surprising lesson her daughter took away!) •    The #1 thing moms can do to avoid over-parenting or under-parenting •    How to create situations where your child feels empowered to solve their own problems •    Techniques to raise a confident, capable child who embraces challenges •    Empower your child, not enable them!  Listen to this episode now! This podcast is perfect for you if: •    You want your child to learn from mistakes and build resilience. •    You're worried you might be preventing your child from developing independence. •    You crave tips on raising a strong, capable adult. •    Don't miss out on these valuable strategies! Tune in today! Love this episode? Let's connect: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ This episode is brought to you by Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact Feeling Lost and Uninspired as a Mom? Reignite Your Spark Today! Do you long to rediscover the things that truly light you up as a mom? Feeling stuck in the daily grind can leave even the most passionate moms feeling drained and uninspired. But what if you could recapture that spark, that creative energy that makes you, you? Fertile Imagination is your guide to unlocking your inner powerhouse. This #1 Amazon bestseller, written by a mom who's been there, will help you: •    Uncover your hidden passions and talents. •    Develop a clear vision for your future as a mom and an individual. •    Learn powerful strategies to overcome overwhelm and rediscover your joy. Stop feeling like you're just going through the motions. Light a fire under your dreams and become the best version of yourself for your family! Visit Melissa Llarena: https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas/ right now and grab a FREE chapter of Fertile Imagination! Don't wait! Your most inspired and fulfilling life as a mom is waiting to be discovered. On the same website, we also have a limited-time offer for mom entrepreneurs who want to speak to the right people and catapult their business success in 30 days or less! Not sure how to go first in networking, or perhaps what to say in a follow-up? Answers to these strategic networking questions are addressed in a free resource that has helped me and my clients talk to the right people in way less time than it would take using traditional networking methods! Download my FREE playbook, "From Contact to Connection," and learn: •    Easy steps to find the right contacts and reach out confidently. •    Unconventional follow-up tips to stand out and build relationships. •    Templates to personalize your outreach for maximum impact. Stop feeling lost and reignite your spark! Download your free playbook now and watch your business thrive. Click here: https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas/ Limited time offer! Official bio for Jessica Lahey  Jessica Lahey is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Jess was awarded the Research Society on Alcohol's Media Award for “outstanding journalistic efforts of writers who cover empirical research on alcohol” […] “for her book The Addiction Inoculation and advocacy for the recovery community.” Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont. She has written about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and her biweekly column “The Parent Teacher Conference” ran for three years at the New York Times. She designed and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' award-winning animated series The Stinky and Dirty Show, and was a 2019 Pushcart Prize nominee. Jess holds the dubious honor of having written an article that was later adapted as a writing prompt for the 2018 SAT. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast from her empty nest in Vermont. Links to connect with Jessica Lahey •    https://jessicalahey.com •    https://www.instagram.com/teacherlahey/ •    https://www.facebook.com/jessicapottslahey/ TRANSCRIPT Enjoy the conversation. Jessica Lahey. Thank you so much. And welcome to unimaginable wellness. I am thrilled to have you here. How are you?  I am great looking out on a snowy Vermont woods through my office windows.   Oh, New England. I remember,  New Hampshire and I got a big, thick coat that was for the Arctic weather.  Sounds about right. Yeah, that's about right. And that started at the end of October. So that's, that was always interesting, but yeah. Thank you so much for being here. And why don't you share with listeners a little bit about you, your book, your wisdom, and then we will jump into something that listeners definitely need help with, which is our mental bandwidth. So take it away, Jessica.   Thank you. So I was a teacher for 20 years. I've taught every grade from sixth to 12th grade, but my heart, I have to admit, lies in middle school. I love, love, love teaching middle school. I also taught for five years in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents. So I've sort of taught in hoity toity private schools and in public schools and all across the, the range. And about the same time that I was teaching middle school, I had kids in middle school and I was Finding that  a lot. And I was also at the, at the same time writing, I was a education journalist. So I, as a teacher and as a parent, I was really interested in how kids learn, how to create a situation, a home, a home life that sort of got kids excited about. Inquiry and curiosity and all that sort of stuff. And at the same time, sort of battling my demons of how much do I step in and help with my kids? And how much do I step back and encourage them to be independent? And then saw my students,  a lot of my students parents were doing things that were sort of doing an end run around a lot of learning opportunities. And that was getting frustrating to me. And so I was on kind of a high horse about that and, and sort of, Just irritated with some of the parents of my students, which is really bad, like the better the homeschool relationship is the better kids learn. We know that. But then the journalist side of me, I was writing for the Atlantic and the New York Times and eventually started writing a column for the New York Times called the Parent Teacher Conference, which was a biweekly column sort of for the Parents wanting to ask questions about education and teachers wanting to ask questions about sort of the, it was at the intersection of education and parenting. And so my brain was constantly thinking of what is the impact of this learning environment or this parenting thing. And, you know, what I was sort of seeing was that some aspects of over parenting, whether it's highly directive parenting or controlling parenting, were  undermining. Learning in many respects, but I wasn't really clear on how that was happening or even if that was happening. And so the journalist in me got to go out and research that for like two years, and then write a book about what I found in terms of how parenting styles affect learning, motivation, engagement, all that kind of stuff. And, and then I had to get real about my own parenting. Cause it turns out I was doing the same thing. To my own kids  that I was irritated for the parents of my students were doing. So it became something I had to look at both as a parent and a teacher. And it became personal for me, which was where I had to be quite humbled to take a deep breath and look at my own, my own,  my own habits and what I was doing to my own kids.  I love how you brought both sides of the same coin together, just like being part of the experiment and then also like trying to figure out what's going on in this experiment, like, are we too involved? Are we not? Well, no, we are definitely not not involved. But it's it's just interesting how then you had to almost take your own medicine in a way. Yeah, I appreciate it. Like I said,  Humbling, especially since, well, so much of what I write about, I mean, the gift of failure was my first book and it was very much about the impact of parenting styles over parenting, directive parenting and autonomy, the alternate, the alternative autonomy, supportive parenting and what that does to kids ability to learn and their motivation and stuff like that. And that's based on research that's out there in the field. And then my second book. Was about my coming to terms of the fact that I am an alcoholic and getting control of my own drinking, not really getting control of it, but not drinking anymore, and then having to think about, okay, well, what has the impact been on my children and what will the intact impact continue to be on my children in terms of their own risks? So I have really what I consider to be one of the coolest jobs in the world, which is to get curious about a topic and then. Go in my hidey hole in the woods of Vermont and research the heck out of it for a couple of years and then translate that research for people who don't necessarily want to go around reading studies and, and having to learn the statistics and all that other stuff in order to translate it to real life and how that actually translates to parenting and education and what we do in the classroom and all of that sort of stuff. It's, it's a really, it's perfect for me as a job. Yeah, I mean, it's so interesting, too, that you have this like, or had this fascination for middle school. May I ask, before we move on, why? Because I have kids in middle school and I'm like, who would be fascinated with middle school?  Well, I actually, uh, my very first teaching gig was with kids, was at the Duke Talent Identification Program. And it, there were, they were sort of gifted or really advanced middle school kids, but they weren't, they were so mature for their age in many ways that it, so I moved directly into teaching.  And I thought that's where I would stay. And I had applied for a new teaching job in a high school that I really admired. And I got a note from the head of a middle school saying, is there any way you would come and interview for this job? Would really love to talk to you about it. And I'm like, Middle school. I, I, I don't know. They, they freak me out. I didn't like middle school myself. I can't imagine that I would want to teach kids that young. And she said, look, just come meet them, which was the kiss of death. I went and I met them and I fell in love with them immediately. And it was,  there's something about the fact that they are still. Children, in the sense that their guard isn't completely up, they still need hugs, they still,  there's, there's something really magical about this, this age, and I think the more you understand about the adolescent brain and cognitive development during adolescence, the more  You can understand why middle school is so magical. They, we give them far more than they can handle from the perspective of where their brain development is. And so the expectation is if you're a middle school teacher who absolutely loves this age group, and I don't know why you would teach middle school if you didn't, because it would be maddening.  The expectation is, is that we will watch them screw up all day long over and over and over again, and find those learning moments because Kids aren't always teachable on our schedule. Sometimes it requires us to sort of step back and say, okay, in the back of my mind, I know I'm going to have to talk to this kid about his total lack of organization, but I can't do it right now because he hasn't had lunch yet or his Guinea pig died last night or whatever is happening at home. His parents are getting divorced and now isn't the best time to be talking. It's more than he can handle. So you wait for just that right moment. And over. I was really lucky. I got to teach sixth grade and seventh grade and eighth grade. So I had these kids for three full years, something that education is, is really starting to realize is important, which is sort of tracking teachers along with kids for more than one year. You really get the opportunity to get to know them. And so if anyone's ever parented a middle school kid, sixth grade and eighth grade are like two different planets. So getting to watch them grow from sixth grade to the end of eighth grade and heading off to high school. It just, it's amazing. It's incredible. I love it so much. I have a seventh grader, so I'm smack in the middle. I'm seeing a little metamorphosis. It's kind of like, oh my goodness, what's coming out on the other side. But, but I'll say this, I'll say this. I think as far as this idea of how much a kid can handle, depending on their age. Is it, oh, of course. It's an idea that even it involves us moms too, and how much we can handle. And on that note, I thought we would totally talk about one of your viral videos. I'm going to say Instagram  with regards to a topic that I think a lot of us. might not be able to handle. Like if we have kids and, and we're kind of focused on grades and we want to be sure that they get to like the right high school, the right college and all of that, the topic that you shared your perspective on was my kid left her homework at home. Should I take it to school for her? And the reason why that topic resonated with me is because here's my theory. My theory is. The reason why a lot of moms are challenged in terms of their mental bandwidth, like, why does it feel so stretched? My hypothesis is because they're also taking ownership of our kids burdens and challenges and problems to solve. And along the lines of how much they can handle and how much we can handle, I would love your thoughts. thoughts on this idea of, of homework. It's like, I feel like there's got to be a lot more to it than just a piece of like paper giving to school. There's got to be a lot behind that. So say more.  Yeah. So this story actually is in the book, the gift of failure and is  It's a cool story because since gift to failure came out, there has been a long period of time in which I've seen how the choices I made that day have played out over a long period of time. So you have to understand the backstory, which I explained in gift to failure, which is that my daughter had real issues with organization. I mean, again, this was for her, this was fourth grade, but this is something that could come up any, at any period in time. And what. We understood was that she just at first was that her homework just wasn't getting done. That's what I heard from the teacher like homework is not happening. Well, it turns out that wasn't exactly true. What we did was we talked to her about the homework issue. And what we found out was that actually the homework was getting done. It was just that she was either not handing it in. It was getting lost. It was stuck in the bottom of her backpack. So what was fascinating about that to me is that my assumption was that she was just not doing it. That's Turns out wasn't true. It was a whole different piece of this. So we had to lay out really clear expectations for homework and then really clear consequences for if she didn't hand it in. So our really clear expectations were you'll do it, you'll do it to the best of your ability. You'll put it in your backpack, you'll take it back out of your backpack and you will hand it in to your teacher so that your teacher can give you feedback because homework is all about feedback.  And  So by the time this homework was left on this coffee table and my daughter was already out at the bus stop.  And we knew that her major problem was putting the homework in the backpack, taking it out of the backpack, handing it to the teacher. And we'd had a whole conversation about this and we'd been working on this specific thing. And so I went back and forth and back and forth. Do I take it? Do I not take it? In fact, I had to go to the school for something later that day anyway, so it would have been super easy for me to take it. And I actually even went to Facebook and put up on Facebook that this was a challenge for me. I was right in the middle of writing the gift of failure. What I do, blah, blah, blah. And a friend of mine who helps run this website called Grown and Flown and wrote the book Grown and Flown about helping your older kids sort of out of, out of the nest, she said, Jess, I really respect you and I love your work, but I disagree if, if. If this were  your husband and he forgot his, his charging cord at home, then you'd take it to him. Right? Because family, if no one else has your back, right? We show each other, we have their backs and we love each other. And if no one else in the world supports us, our family supports us. And I'm like, Oh crud, what do I do now? Because my instinct is I can't take the homework and not just because my entire very small community knew I was writing a book called the gift of failure about this exact thing. And so I didn't take the homework that day because I realized no, yes, I would take the, the charging cord to my husband, but my husband, always remembers his charging cord. Like that's not an issue we're working on with him. He's an incredibly careful and meticulous person. And so it would be an oddity, an outlier for him to forget something like that. But with my daughter, this is a very specific thing we've been working on. So I didn't take it. I'm also, by the way, not raising my husband. I was raising my daughter with this very specific blind spot in her, in her executive function skills. And so I didn't take it. And what ended up happening was  her teacher got fed up. Wonderful Mr. Dano. I love him so much. I talk about him all the time. Mr. Dano kept her in from lunch, which plus a minus I'm not in agreement with that. We, Kids need exercise, but kept her in from recess and said, this is something that's been going on for too long. It's time that you just, you have to come up with a strategy, like how is tomorrow going to be different from today? And that day, the day I didn't take the homework and did not rescue her, she was forced to sit down and come up with a strategy that would work for her. And that strategy won PS, I had been recommending for ages that she didn't. Listen to came up with her own strategy, which again was the one I had been recommending you forever, but it was the one that she thought she came up with all on her own, which is what matters, which was a checklist, like having a checklist at home so that she remembers everything. And what was so cool about that was.  She's very proud of herself when she told me all about this checklist thing. She had come up with clearly all on her own,  but it's the,  the tool she used, the strategy she used all the way through middle school, all the way through high school. I kept all of them. She would remake them from time to time, depending on what she needed. And she's in college now, and it continues to be the way she thinks about it. What she needs to leave house with or the dorm room with or whatever  And it stuck because it was her Strategy and if I had taken the homework that day She wouldn't have had this moment where she had to talk to an adult about how She needed to be supported in coming up with a solution to this ongoing problem that she wasn't hearing from me and I'm forever indebted to Mr. Dano for, for being that person that really pushed her to come up with something. So it was really hard to stay home that day, especially since it was for a subject that. She was having trouble with, it was kids who were starting to tease her about being the kid that forgets everything. I could have saved her from that if I had just taken the homework that day, but, and it would have made me feel great,  but I had to put off my own, Need to feel good about here's how much I love you. Here's visible evidence of how much I love you for what would benefit her long term, not necessarily that day. And I would have stolen that learning opportunity from her. And to your point,  it's not great at there's another story that I tell in the book, which is that former. Student of mine, we were working on some stuff together about her anxiety and her anxiety around homework and all that stuff. And it was because her parents were so, so invested in helping her with homework every single day, like literally on top of her. And it was causing major chaos, not just chaos, but anxiety in the home. When it came time for her to go off to college and I asked her what she was excited about, she's like, Oh yeah, I'm so excited for this, that, and the other thing. She said, but I'm really, really worried about my parents because I don't know what they're going to do with their time because she had never seen her parents have a life outside of her needs and wants  and schedule. And that's bad for kids. Like we shouldn't. They need to see that we have a life outside of their needs and wants and lives and that we are full people outside of our children. That's how we teach our children to be their own parents who can have a life outside of their own kids and think about things like their relationships and their career and their whatever those other things are outside of kids. So I think it's, we really, really have to balance that stuff and be thinking about what's important for our kids in the long term and what's important for us in the long term.  Absolutely. And as I think about what you're sharing, I'm thinking to myself, okay, so this was like a, a little moment that became a huge learning opportunity, lifelong benefits for your daughter. And I'm curious about for yourself and just like, is this now something that you never had to think about again? Like, how did it like.  Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't that be nice if I never had to think about it again? No, it was fourth grade and you know, this, she continued to be the kind of kid who needed more supports, especially for executive function stuff. And for those people who don't know, executive function stuff is frontal lobe stuff. It's adulting stuff. So the brain develops from the bottom up. We start with like the ability to breathe and the ability and reflexes and the ability to see our heart. But the higher up in our brain, we go, the more we're thinking about like time management, resource allocation, how we segue from one thing to another, starting a task, finishing a task, all that kind of like adulting stuff. That's all frontal lobe stuff. And that is the very last part of the brain to come online. And many, many. Kids, fourth grade, middle school, high school, that part of the brain is not fully online yet. It's not fully online until the early to mid twenties, which if you read my other book about substance use, it's the reason that using addictive substances is so much more harmful to the adolescent brain than it is to an adult brain that's done forming. So for me, I constantly had to think, okay, where is my kid along this continuum of developing executive function? And she's 20 now.  Is she fully cooked yet? No, she, her brain won't be fully cooked until the early to mid twenties. My older kid happened to get there a little bit sooner and my younger kid is getting there a little later and that's totally normal. But how I react to one kid might be a little different from how I react to my other kids simply because.  I know,  I have a pretty good sense of where they are in terms of what they need, and it's when we start  assuming that they need help all the time, when we start assuming that they're not competent enough to do stuff themselves, that's when we start sort of stepping in, doing too much, being overly directive, and possibly fostering what's called learned helplessness, which is teaching our kids Oh, no, I don't think you can do that thing. And then they start to believe it too. And so their immediate reaction becomes, Oh, I need help with this. I can't do it myself. There's no way I could do this on my own. And I see it from the classroom side as a teacher. And I see it at home from my own kids, it still pops up, but it still rears its ugly head sometimes, because is it easier to pretend you can't do it? So mom will do it. Absolutely. And that goes from laundry to loading the dishwasher to pretending that you didn't know that if the dishwasher is already clean, then you can unload it before you drop your stuff in the sink and just walk away. There's that learned helplessness thing is a really tempting  thing to fall into for kids until they're done developing and sometimes beyond. What's so what's so interesting, Jessica, in terms of just like my own experiences, is that. This dynamics of like an overly involved parent doing things for you is alien territory to me. I'm like, oh, that's so fascinating. I, I have a totally different life experience. So here's the challenge that I want to just share with you. Like how, How would a listener who has the opposite experience where she had to grow up very quickly because she was raised by a mom with manic depression? Like, how does someone like me and you, Jessica, teach our kids without breaking them? Because I don't know what they're capable of, but I'm really trying to figure out what are the edges and like, how does one before? For already, like what one kid could handle or not, how do you start like testing this just like, Oh, I think they got this or, Oh no, break them. If they do that. Yeah. So  I love this question because I hardly ever get this question. I, I was raised in a home with an alcoholic parent. I was raised along with some other stuff that I choose to keep private that  I had to grow up really fast and I was in charge of all my stuff. But part of that was really wonderful because part of it was that my parents trusted me to make good decisions and they, and I, you know, Very much wanted to fulfill that expectation. And so  from my perspective, some of that was really great. Like they trusted me to navigate the world and be able to speak up for myself. And they expected that I would speak up for myself and that I would be able to navigate the world. But there is, as you mentioned, so there's, There's a really interesting divide between kids who have, there's this thing called self efficacy, which is the feeling that if you take action, that you can change things. Like, let's say for example, I'm.  I really don't like my college roommate. We're just not getting along and I really think we should switch roommates. And so I know that I could go speak to an advisor or go talk to the college or talk to the roommate and either resolve things or change things up. That's a feeling of self efficacy. I know I can do that. So I tend to have a fairly high level of self efficacy, but there are two kinds of kids who have very low levels of self efficacy. And not only is that. which is terrible for them emotionally, but it's also a really big risk factor for substance use.  Kids who grow up in the foster care system, group homes, homes where they're being neglected or abused, where  you want to change the fact that you're getting hit or that you don't have anyone to turn to, but there isn't much you can do. Do to change that situation, a kid in foster care may have no control whatsoever over where they're living next week. And that can cause some kids to have really low levels of self efficacy. Like no matter what I do, nothing will change kind of thing. But then there are also kids who grow up with every support and financial support and parents doing everything for them. And even those kids can end up in a situation where they're like, well, I don't need to make decisions about things because all decisions are being made for me. Someone is going to figure that out for me. And that's also can foster a really low level of self efficacy. And these are the kids that I saw in my rehab classroom a lot, these two kinds of kids. And so I think One of the best things we can do is really get to know the kid that we have really well. What are their needs? What are their wants? What are, what are the things they love? And let them know that we love them no matter what the outcome is That we're, that we're really interested in the process of becoming, learning, practicing that when we focus overly on the end product, the trophy, the score, the grade, the points, that what we're saying is we don't care how you get there. We just want you to provide these results and. The way we react when they do or don't provide those results.  Can make them can make a lot of kids feel like they are loved more when they get high grades and less when they Get low grades. And in fact, I poll kids on this when i'm in schools And it's really stunning how many kids say? Yeah, I really do believe that i'm loved More when I get high grades and less when I get low grades so doing a lot of this sort of process talk will also get at the topic of Well, do you need support here? Do you want me to step back a lot of Parents don't think to ask those questions, especially when your come kids, your kid comes to you and they're really upset and like we go into that defensive mode and we just want to fix it for them because it's so horrible to hear about our kids being in distress. But a lot of teens will tell you that they don't want the problem solved. They just want to talk about it. They just want to be heard. So.  Making sure your kid feels heard is the number one thing that we can do to make sure that we're not under parenting or over parenting because they're going to tell us if they trust us and if they feel supported in the process of becoming and whoever it is, they're going to be, as opposed to just in the end product, then they hopefully will trust us enough to tell us when they need help and when they need support, and that's when you can get to know Are they asking for help because they're  being helpless here, or are they asking for help because they really, really need help? And it becomes fairly, it's different with each kid, but if I can learn it in a classroom of 30 students, I knew when my students needed real help or were just copping out for the day. And I knew when a student was in distress and not asking for help. That's a matter of looking and listening, listening, listening. And paying attention to who the kid is. And there's one thing I say a lot when I'm talking in schools, talking to parents about gift to failure stuff, which is  that we have to love the kid. We have not the kid we wish we had, because when we love the kid, we have not some imaginary version of our child. We really do get  a feel for their emotional state and their,  their levers for what they want and need from us. And, and that's.  Knowing the kid you have and, and not just the kid you wish you had is sort of the most important thing that I think we can do as a parent.  Yeah, I would agree totally. I think some kids can handle more than other kids, which is an obvious point. But I think as a parent, it's the onus is on us to really like understand, like maybe what are their limits and challenge them a little bit. I mean, I have several anecdotes, which I'll definitely share in the show notes a bit more, but. Yeah. Thank you, Jessica, for this. I think this is important. And so one final question before you share all your socials and where we could get your books and such, but here's the question. So you personally, as a mom, as an author, a New York Times bestselling author, help us understand how you personally have bubble wrapped your sanity along your journey.  Yeah, at the, my ability to say no to things has gotten better. When I first sold The Gift of Failure, I was working full time over more than full time as a middle school teacher. I was teaching six, six class. So I was teaching six individual different classes out of seven periods a day. And I was also working part time as an education journalist. And then I sold my book and I did not want to stop teaching. But I also. I had to weigh sort of what I wanted from my career, and I had always wanted to be a writer, and this was my big chance to sort of do it or not do it right. And I had to, I, the day I quit, I was just Weeping. It was awful. I luckily was able to find a part time job teaching so that I was able to juggle everything, but I couldn't do everything I wanted to do. And granted, this isn't from a perspective of, Oh my gosh, I have choice. That's a place of incredible privilege. And I totally understand that. But being able to say no to some of the things that are shiny objects that I would love to like have on my CV, or that I think could sell a couple extra books, or that might give me, give me another opportunity. I've had to realize that I can't be all things to all people. I can't do everything. In order to be the parent that my teenagers needed, I couldn't also. Teach full time. I just couldn't do it no matter how much I wanted to stay.  And it was really sad, but it was a decision that was really, really good and allowed me, as I said, to find a part time job that did allow me to have a taste of this and a taste of that, and still be there for my kids when they needed me to be. Thank you for that. I think that's helpful. I think saying no is ultimately saying yes to the thing that you really want. So it makes, it makes sense. And I know it's really, really hard, especially when those objects are extra super shiny. So Jessica, share with us where we can continue to follow along your journey and buy your books and support you and learn more about them. Your gift of failure.  So everything is at Jessica Lahey. com, including the daily videos. I was putting up for a while and I'm hoping to return to both on the addiction inoculation and the gift of failure. I do that on Instagram but they're all indexed in the little table of contents on there. You can find out about more about. Possibly getting me to come to your kid's school or some nonprofit organization in your area to speak about either topic. But again, everything is at Jessica Lahey. com and I'm on all of the social places at, at Jess Lahey. Thank you so much. Or at Teacher Lahey, sorry, at Teacher Lahey. Someone over on Instagram took at Jess Lahey, so I couldn't have it. So I'm at Teacher Lahey over on Instagram. Thank you so much, Jessica. I appreciate this.  Thank you so much. This is such, such a fun conversation. Absolutely. Thanks again.  What an amazing conversation with Jessica, and here's why I was so smitten to have a conversation with her. First of all, I think it's so interesting that the topic of over parenting is such a big deal these days because I see it, I'm a witness, I understand it visually. But personally, and maybe you too, I wasn't over parented. I don't know if I would say I was under parented, but maybe right sized parented for my personality and my abilities. So, it's something for you to consider. I think there's two ends, two ways of approaching parenting, probably several. But ultimately, it's something important to understand as far as For each individual child. So here's my quick recap. Number one, kids do need to see that we have lives outside of our kids. And I think that is even more important and possible with the internet, making it more accessible to us. Second point, we have to give kids more credit. We can't assume that they don't know how to do something. I will even add this point. Not only can we not assume that they don't know how to do something. But dare I say, and I'm just saying this cause it's easier to say than to do. What if they actually can do something more simply and better? Right? So that's an opportunity that I think is really helpful. Here's the third one, self efficacy. So for different kids, there's different quote unquote. Levels of abilities, right? And capabilities. So it's beyond just the age because you could have two 12 year olds that have totally different ways of handling the exact same stressful moment. And I think. You see that in one home where you have siblings who see certain situations favorably, potentially, and others, not as much. So it's really important for us as moms, even at the helm of really growing businesses. To really pay attention to the different parenting style needs that our individual children have. And as someone with identical twins, that goes for me too, and maybe for you too. So hope you enjoyed the conversation. I definitely want to invite you to learn more about Jessica. She shared how to reach out to her. And I also want to invite you to head on over to fertile ideas. com. When I say that I am beyond, beyond excited that I am sharing. You know, everything that I've learned over these four years on how to rediscover my own imagination so that this way I could actually have a business that thrives and something that I'm excited about and I feel fully aligned to, which is supporting mom entrepreneurs. It is not an understatement. Your imagination is something that you might not even know has been paused for a decade. And once we hit that play button. And that is a little bit of a pun because that is part of my framework playing with your imagination. There's no telling at how many wonderful ideas you could activate and turn into reality and actually make an impact in the world and on your terms. So head on over to www.fertileideas.com

 What if you don't want to be a solopreneur forever? What if one day you want to exit from your business or you want to run a fully functioning business that can operate without you in it? Welcome to Episode 221. This conversation is perfect for you if these are the questions on your mind as a business owner, especially one who is a mom (or mum). Meet today's guest Angela Middleton, MBE.  Angela is the chairman of The Limitless Group, comprising several companies in the workforce and careers development space. A detailed bio is below. This Episode Covers: ·      Unexpected strategies for achieving peak business success: Learn unconventional approaches to reach your full potential as an entrepreneur. ·      The connection between health and business: Discover how prioritizing your well-being fuels your entrepreneurial journey.      Delegation mastery: Explore effective strategies for delegating tasks and hiring the right people to support your business growth.      Risk-averse hiring: Learn how to build a strong team even if you're cautious about taking on big risks. ·      The importance of a flexible vision: Gain insights into why adapting your business vision is crucial for long-term success in a dynamic market. Key Takeaways: ·      Prioritizing your health is crucial for long-term business success. This episode emphasizes taking care of yourself as the foundation for building a sustainable and thriving business. ·      Delegation is essential for scaling your business.  Even if your product or service directly stems from your unique skills, you can achieve greater success by strategically delegating tasks. ·      Adaptability is key.  Your initial business vision may need to adjust over time due to market shifts or evolving client needs. Excited to hear about these topics? Start listening…as my personal thank you please grab any of the free resources below and of course learn more about today's guest. Resources: Is your business stuck? Take this quiz for moms to maximize your potential - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/64fb50ebd9dce900148cdff8   Grab your seat for my free webinar focused on your 2024 ultimate business success Mom Mogul Makeover - https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/7e884a0f0a Download the 3 questions every visionary mom entrepreneur, founder, or creator must answer for yourself before daring to build new relationships with the moguls, market makers, and/or powerful players who can take her business to the next level. Grab the 3 questions sign-up HERE - https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/21e52edb87 This episode is brought to you by my 9-week group coaching course: Fertile Imagination in Action. This is a high-touch coaching immersion program designed exclusively for visionary mom founders, entrepreneurs, and creators. Do you crave a simple, straightforward, and laser-focused approach to expanding your professional network? This program equips you with the tools to connect with individuals who offer: ·       Access to better opportunities: Gain exposure to ventures that can build your credibility, push your boundaries, and enable you to forge connections with influential figures (moguls, market makers, mentors) who can guide your professional journey. This episode exemplifies my own successful networking strategy, saving me significant resources and yielding substantial benefits. As a busy mom of three, I understand the value of time. This program eliminates the guesswork from your path to success. You won't waste time connecting solely with individuals at your current level. Since launching my coaching practice, I've prioritized connecting and learning from accomplished individuals like Angela. I can teach you this same non-traditional networking approach too! My book, this podcast, and the success of my own mom-life are testaments to the effectiveness of the principles I teach in my program. Want to learn more? Email me Melissa [at] melissallarena.com  and I'll send you my calendar link. These spots are very limited. Email me your business website along with why you want to extend your networking community to express your interest in this opportunity and so I can send you free resources that can help you today. Official Bio For Angela Middleton Angela is chairman of The Limitless Group, comprising several companies in the workforce and careers development space. She is host of the ‘IWant2BA' podcast and the author of the 1st Job Book Series. Dubbed ‘The Careers Queen', and a regular commentator in national media, Angela teaches a holistic approach to careers for all ages, combined with physical fitness and mental health. After completing her own fitness transformation at the age of 55, Angela created the ‘Your Body Means Business' programme that reveals how you can start your career, optimise your health and grow a successful business. In 2019, she was awarded an MBE for services to business, employment and apprenticeships, and regularly works with other leading entrepreneurs such as Richard Branson, Tony Robbins and Gary Vaynerchuck. Angela is a sought after public speaker, regularly appearing at large scale careers and life strategy events. She is currently the subject of the Limitless Weekly Vlog on Youtube – an online documentary series highlighting behind the scenes of running a business and also hosts #AskAng a business and life Q&A show on Instagram. Links for more information https://angelamiddleton.com/ https://www.instagram.com/angelamiddleton/ TRANSCRIPT Okay, so today's guest is Angela Middleton. Angela is the chairman of the limitless group comprising of several companies in the workforce and careers development space.   She's the host of I want to be a podcast. You could check out the spelling in the show notes for her podcast, and she's the author of the first job book series. Dubbed the careers queen and a regular commentator in national media, Angela teaches a holistic approach to careers for all ages, combined with physical fitness and mental health.   After completing her own fitness transformation at the age of 55, Angela created the your body means business program that reveals how you can start your career. Optimize your health and grow a successful business. She has worked with other leading entrepreneurs, such as Richard Branson, Tony Robbins, and Gary Vaynerchuk, who was my 10th guest on this very podcast.   She is also the subject of the limitless weekly vlog on YouTube. You could check out all her information in the show notes, but for now, if you want to get the guts to talk to people like. Angela Middleton or Tony Robbins or Richard Branson for the, for that matter. I highly suggest that you reach out to me, Melissa at Melissa Llarena, and I will give to you my three questions.   So this way you get the guts to talk to anyone and you network effectively so that you can actually take your business to the next level as fast as humanly possible, because that's what we need as moms time matters for sure. Enjoy the conversation. Gillette Middleton, welcome to the podcast. I am delighted to have you all the way from London on this episode.   Hi, Melissa. And lovely to be here. Thanks for inviting me.  It's been years. I think we met at the Tony Robbins Business Mastery in Florida. And so this is, I know it's been a long time. It's I feel like you've lived several lives since then.    Well, that I've been in 20. I went to a lot of Tony's things from about 2015 up till about  2018 or 19, the live things anyway.   About 2018 it was, I believe. Oh right, yeah, yeah. Although I started going to these events, I think the first one I ever went to was in about 2006. Wow. Yeah, I remember being, thinking it was a business event, having heard of Tony Robbins. turning up in a suit and high shoes and then being flabbergasted that everybody was standing on chairs.   He'd not even come on stage by then. So yeah, it was a whole new world for me, I must say.    Absolutely. It's high energy, high enthusiasm and all actions. So I mean very much so inspiring.   Very inspiring, very inspiring. And so Angela, let me, let me just ask you, Like a number of questions in terms of business, in terms of business growth and scaling.   And the reason why these questions I feel are so appropriate, given your experiences and everything that you've kind of accomplished is you bring so many different perspectives, right? Having worked in a corporate setting, also having had at minimum two businesses, maybe you have even more than two and I just don't know.   So I thought we could just get started in terms of a little bit about. The businesses that you currently have, and in terms of the sort of questions you get pertaining to business growth and starting a business, and then we could dig into delegation because that's top of mind for mom entrepreneurs. I did.   I worked in the corporate setting and I worked in lots of different departments, everything from HR to it, to sales. marketing. I was very much a sort of business hybrid. And then after that 20 years in two different companies, an oil company and a bank, I set up my first business, which was in recruitment.   And after that I had lots of different businesses, but I was always transitioning businesses, bringing them together in groups, selling businesses, acquiring businesses and, and bringing them into sort of the overall group. So I was very interested in building things as opposed to just being in the business.   And I guess I did learn that from going to events such as Tony's business mastery very much was it was in creation mode. And,  and then, I think through, uh, the, the financial crisis, when we, we obviously were impacted by it, like many others. And my philosophy there was very much while we have some great clients, they really like us, but they're not hiring staff at the moment.   So what else do they want? And that took me in all sorts of different directions, training their existing staff, helping them restructure. I had finance company that I acquired to help them with their financial planning and events company. Which we started from scratch and was really successful. And it meant that we really created great networks of clients for when things improved.   So, and then I got very interested in the link between health and fitness and how that would actually influence business. Cause I sort of went through a bit of a fitness transition myself in 2018, actually, when we met. And I was really astounded that some of the things that I I'd found difficult in business to sort of get to that next level, because I think you get to a level in business where you're sort of comfortable and you plateau a bit. And I, I'd found it quite difficult to go beyond a plateau and it seemed like all of a sudden the fitness and the mindset work that I'd been doing really sort of, it wasn't a coincidence that at the same time that that was happening. We sort of exploded through that plateau and went on to achieve a lot more things.   And I was just so prolific as well. I was doing loads of other things. I felt like I was less busy at work. It was funny. And so then after that, I started to coach performance. I became qualified personal trainer.  I was, uh, I became qualified as a life coach, a relationship coach.  I then did some work in with neuroscience with Joe Dispenza and qualified as a consultant, teaching some of his staff.   So there's been many things that I've sort of brought together and now I do. Individuals business owners and do coaching with them but my main focus is going into corporates and working with their management team and  approaching business from a way that there may be is very new to them so I coach their management teams in a body then mindset and then we go back to business and we introduce all sorts of other things as well like manifestation and energy and longevity and just basically try to help them create a team of super beings that's what they tend to want.   Sounds like it. And so it's interesting in terms of the body first and then mindset, was that intentional or is that something that I guess they asked for because they want to see visible results right away?   No, I think it really came from my own experience. Because I think there's a lot that we can do with our mind alone and we sort of can succeed and mum, mothers will obviously relate to this and we're really busy and we're sleep deprived and we're putting everybody else first.   And still we managed to do great things, especially in business and we sort of, but we end up because of the power of the mind. Even if we're not treating our bodies as well as we could and nutrition and everything, we still end up achieving, but it's almost despite our body, not because of. And once we add in the physical side and we start to feel, I always call the body a taxi.   Once we, a taxi for the brain. Once we start fueling it properly, looking after it properly, maintaining it, it's amazing because now we've got this taxi, which will ferry the brain about so much more effectively.  And of course the brain is just as much as part of our body as a bicep. So you may be able to see the impact of training and so on in your body.   But you can feel it in your mind. So that's why I always approach body first.  Excuse me. Although these days,  sort of simultaneously, I try to do, do them hand in hand is a bit like chicken and egg. I'm not quite sure  if you can do one without the other. But for me, yeah, the body, we get started on the body because  people start to feel better.   And so then they're more inclined to want to start to think a different way naturally.  Hmm.   I love that. That's kind of like the baseline. Just once, once the temple is tended to, then it's like, okay, now we could move up to the brain. I mean, it's, it requires so many calories, so much energy. So absolutely.   Yeah. And so of course, if we're feeling. I mean, I had many, many staff in about 2018 when that was a time when I had a big sort of bricks and 14 offices and about 130 staff. And I used to definitely see a pattern, a link between business performance and individuals that were interested in sport,  wouldn't move their body, had like a clear routine.   And yeah. So I knew that there was something in it. I always used to, I started looking when I was interviewing people, I started particularly looking out for individuals, had those other dimensions to them and it wasn't all about just career credentials.  That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, I mean, at the end of the day, we are, we are a machine.   I mean, why do we expect to perform using only one aspect of ourselves, the, our sort of academic capability or our skills? Why not use all the other pillars of performance?    I think, I think for a lot of people, it's almost like, It feels like it requires so much just to think clearly and I know that we're forcing it if we're not tending to our body.   I know that if you start lifting weights, like for me at least, there's a lot more clarity when I'm at the gym and I'm lifting weights. It's almost like the clouds in my head just kind of like clear up when I'm lifting weights, which is fascinating.    It really is. And there's all sorts of biological explanations for it.   I, because If we are constantly feeling that we're stressed, then we don't have the energy to do anything else. We do get brain fog. We do, we are switching off or about anything mentally about anything other than what we perceive is the threat. We're, we're not, our body isn't at rest, it's not renewing, it's not performing all the vital, all the non vital functions.   And ultimately Our health starts to deteriorate. So coming out of stress mode, and there's lots of ways to do that, but meditation is another way or going into a gym and just focusing on the present moment and just counting the reps or just sort of doing something on a treadmill or whatever it is, whatever the chosen modality is, will definitely take.   Increase our ability to sort of de stress. A hundred percent. And so I wanted to ask you this question from the perspective of someone that wants to add, for example, going to the gym, self care rituals, other ways of, of releasing that cortisol, right? Healthy ways of doing it. But her calendar is currently.   Packed for now, right? I know about prioritization, but I want listeners to just hear this and really make changes. But right now her calendar is packed. And as a lot of moms, she has all these to do's and for some reason, she wants to get it all done and she's operating or launching a services based business.   Like how would you approach that, that idea of getting it all done and adding a workout?   Yeah, I mean, well, I'd sort of start to question some of those philosophies in the first place, the whole concept of getting it all done. It is never all done. So I think we just have to be a bit, step back for a bit, encourage them to,  and everyone's the same, we're all the same whether we're new mums or not, we have that tendency to, to, to, to want to be like this, but just questioning, do we have to get everything done? What's the priority? And then that whole concept of putting our own mask on first is very helpful. Because if we push ourselves to the brink and end up literally not being able to do anything one day through illness, or we just, we stop, then that's not going to be good for anybody around us.   It's not going to be good for our children or our partner or our colleagues or our clients or anybody. So it's almost like a responsibility to them that we have to do something about our timetable because we've all got examples of busy days. But if you look at the heads of state, they've still only got a certain number of hours.   So there has to be some form of discipline over when work stops. and creating some sort of boundaries  around, well, I've done the priority task that I've had to do. But now I have to do some things for myself that doesn't have to be an hour to the gym, an hour in the gym and an hour back. We don't have to  spend all of this time.   People think that they have to, but you can do very short workouts from home. During lockdown. I ended up training people all over the world over zoom  and we would do it in half an hour slots and people would have their pajama bottoms on. They would be. The using, if they'd never, they didn't have any equipment, they'd be using two bottles of water as weights to start with, or a rucksack or something like that.   And eventually they would start to equip themselves as the months went by. But so many people got into weight training and they'd never, ever done it before. And they did that from home and I still do home workouts now. And we sell online courses where people can follow those workouts. But we used to do it face to face.   I used to train people even up until the end of last year. I still have some private clients that I trained online.  You can, once you know the basics, you can work out from home. So you can basically start to look at the structure of your day and get up half an hour earlier and do this half an hour workout.   But obviously that that's going to require you to try to get to bed. Earlier in the evening, so consciously trying to shift your timetable, but just prioritizing it in the same way that we prioritize our children and we prioritize our clients. If we are not at our best, then we're not going to be able to look after them in this, in the way that we really want.   So ultimately we're not going to make ourselves happy either.  So it can be done. It can be done at home. Also incorporating movement, sort of standing up when we, when we're on the phone, making sure we always walk wherever we can, taking the stairs whenever we can. That's a very underrated way of, of getting, utilising energy.   If we want to lose body fat, then using up calories. If we just want to feel better, just keeping the mind active. But yeah, so there are things that we can incorporate. And then of course there's the nutrition, there's the other side of the nutrition, that's We can time how frequently  we eat, being strict with ourselves about we must eat a breakfast, we must eat lunch, and we must, must have something reasonable for dinner and make it high protein based  and being organized about when we shop so that we've always got something there so we don't reach for the refined carbs and things that are going to fuel us just in the moment, but are not going to be long term fuel to make us feel good.   So there's, that's the things normally I would recommend to. to people who are just starting their fitness journey and are in this situation where they think they don't have time because they do, but there are clever ways of amalgamating it.   And there's always time for like that last minute report that's due to a client always somehow, right?   We make the time, don't we? We make the time and if you, if you really think about it, I mean, this is the only vehicle that we're ever going to have is like, I sort of turn up with a car on your doorstep and say, okay, there, there we go. That's yours for life. Now you need to look after it because you're not going to get another one.   And yet people, people won't. I mean, it is crazy, but until they start looking at it like this and think, actually, it is worth me spending a bit of time and money and effort on this vehicle, because this is what's going to carry me all the way through the whole journey. Every client. Every interaction with another person, every relationship, I need to have this vehicle working fit and strong.   And in terms of just getting to the next level in your business, as I think about a mom entrepreneur, so let's say year one, she was able to make some profit in her services based business. And now she has to make a decision like, okay, should I continue to outsource? Should I hire a new employee? All these things like.   What are some considerations a mom might want to think about or anyone that does want to get to the next level and maybe now she started incorporating some fitness so she has the endurance. Add this to her to do list of find the right hire. Like how do you think about what to what to delegate and what not to.   Well, there is that mindset piece to do, which is trying to think about the new version of her, the version that she's creating. And what does that person look like? And what's that life look like that she's creating? I mean, is it continuing as a, as a solo?  Entrepreneur, or does she see herself ultimately running a business where she is actually, she's built the thing and she's running it in terms of she's leading it, but she's not actually in it doing it because that is a big transition to make, but it's a big difference.   And sometimes people end up with staff, but it's never really where they want it to be, or they end up doing everything because they've just, they Never thought about hiring others. So being clear at what you're trying to build is so important.  And then if you are, if you've decided, yes, I do want to build a business that's scalable and that I'm leading and I'm the face of it and that sort of thing, well, then drawing out what that business ultimately is going to look like, what are the growth goals is things, a lot of the things that we picked up when we were on business mastery, if you think about it, it talks about growth goals and  there's considerations there as well is the thing that she's doing. actually capable of achieving those growth goals that she has. So if she's doing something, are there enough clients? Is the, is the price per service or the price per product high enough? Is it going to, what volume is that going to dictate? So getting really clear on some of those metrics of what she's trying to achieve.   And then, like I say, if she decided that she wants to achieve something, which is an entity on its own, which has people, then she has got to start thinking about hiring. And so then what do you do? What do you hire? Who do you hire? Well, You've got the typical cornerstones of any business. You've got the sales and marketing,  you've got the operations and you've got the finance.   So there's a combination of what's the thing that she really loves doing. She can keep that for a bit, but what's the thing that she really doesn't like doing or that she doesn't feel she's very good at, or that always gets left behind and deprioritized. Well, maybe hire someone to, to do that because it is, it may not be Quite so urgent, but it is important.   So maybe she outsources for that until it becomes a full time job. And then she can start to gradually transition to employing someone full time, but I would try to minimize overheads at the beginning and do things like outsource on a price per hour or a price per day or a price per job. And, or even on sales, you can do commission only base.   I don't know if you can in the U S but we can in the UK,  we can do contracts like that. So I would sort of just. That's the steps I think. Be clear on what you're trying to build, then identify the area you need to help with right now, and then try to do it softly. Freelancing to start off with, minimum cost, testing the waters really, making sure it works, and then eventually moving to either a team of freelancers, Or one person who's like a full time employee and then on to the next one.   It's hard  when you are the face of the business to start off with and all of your clients want you. I mean, I definitely was like that in my recruitment business where I went from a one man band to 130 staff and I used it. very, you know, sometimes turn around and think, how did this happen? How is it that I now have people working for me that I don't even know them?   They bump, I bump into them in the street and they work, they work for me. It's really very strange transition, but that took a good few years, but it does happen. But it being clear on where you want to get to makes it easier to get there. I think.   Yeah. And I could see where the mindset work is gigantic there.   I was having a conversation with someone that co founded a mom magazine that has like 40 million views every single month. And her vision of what she wants to do now with her lifestyle business is totally something I didn't even consider. Like she wants, she does not want to be the only coach in a group coaching experiencing community based sort of solution.   And for me.  I just, I was like, wow, what an idea.   Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, well, that's the other thing we have to leave room for ideas popping up as we go along because we can never really see the ultimate, the ultimate goal does change. I mean, for me in the end, it started off as a recruitment business, but.   When I exited, it was a very much more, there was a huge training arm to it, so much more. And that was never the intention, but you, you go with what you're interested in with the opportunities that come up, the skills that you start to acquire as you go along. And there are moments in business where you can often only see when you look back, where there was a moment where you went to a meeting or you met someone, or you took a, you won a contract, or you took a particular step.   That sends you in a different direction to the one you expected. So you have to have a little bit of an open mind. It can't all be, well, in my experience anyway, totally planned. You, you, you get to, there's many ways to get to where you want to get to, and it needn't be exactly the way you think. So you have to give a little bit of leeway there.   We don't know, do we? We had lockdown, we've had financial crisis, there's things looming now. So  we can only make decisions based on the information available to us right now and then continue to go in the right direction. It is a marathon.  Not a sprint.   That is, that is definitely true. And, and to add on to that, also, our kids are going to have completely different needs.   My kids are little kids. They're 10, 10 and 12, and you have two adults. So totally different life experiences right now.   But they were, when I started, they were something like eight and 10, I remember. And yeah, I mean, I remember thinking sometimes they were sick. And so then it's,  We didn't do working from home then, because my children are 30 and 31 now.   So. Yeah, I mean, it was just trying to find child care and your weighing it. Is he sick enough that really he needs to stay home? Or can I sort of dose him up and bundle him off to school? Do I need to be there? Or can I get some child care for him? It's stressful because obviously we love our kids dearly and they are our priority.   But you've got that client who you're supposed to have a meeting with and you've really worked hard to get that meeting. So we just have to do our best. There's never going to be a perfect scenario, but I do think the mindset and the body stuff really helps because it keeps us clear. We don't waste energy.   We shouldn't waste energy on beating ourselves up  that we're doing it all wrong, but equally feeling sorry for ourself as well that poor me, it's so difficult. I can't do it. But it is what it is. And you've got to have a little bit of that mentality of just getting on with it and dealing with the circumstances.   I always used to have a bit of an attitude that there was always going to be something going wrong in the day. And I didn't used to think like that in terms of being a pessimist, but it was almost like to help me manage my expectations so that if it did,  I could sort of say, Oh, well, I thought I knew there'd be something and this is it today.   And sometimes nothing would go wrong. It'd all go right. And then I'd be really super happy. I mean, I was lucky. My, my husband has got his own business as well. So he had, there was a bit of flexibility  with him. However, in the same way that I have my business, he had his, and so he also sometimes couldn't help out and was not there when I wanted him to be.   We just have to deal with things and, but it is worth it in the end, if you are that way inclined and you want to build something and create an impact and feel all the benefits that we, that we feel when we run businesses.    Absolutely. Yeah. Thank you so much, Angela. So where can listeners find you and follow your journey?   Yeah. Well, I'm at Angela Middleton on LinkedIn. If they're interested more on the business side and if they're interested in seeing my daily routines in, in the gym and hyperbaric all that stuff, more lifestyle stuff and Instagram, but both at Angela Middleton.   Thank you so much, Angela. This was amazing.   And this is going to help a lot of business owners.   Oh, well, so, so lovely to share and, uh, yeah, I hope it does any, any questions delighted to answer.    Here are the three things that really stood out for me from the conversation with Angela. Point number one, your body can absolutely play a huge role in your business strategy.   So I highly suggest you consider Angela's wisdom and really think through it. through how you might be potentially a better decision maker after a workout, or how you might feel a little bit more level headed and focus after a workout. So really think about how you might add a physical practice to your busy life.   The second point is this, when it comes to building out your business, going from a forever solopreneur to someone that has a fully functioning business, it is important to first be very clear. Is that what you want? If the answer is yes, proceed forward and really think through what you might need in the immediate time.   The third point is this. I want you to feel encouraged by this conversation between me and Angela. Angela is so amazing. She's had so much business success. And yet as a mom with three little children.  Who has been in a 12 year entrepreneurial career. Yes, I have gotten the guts and the courage to speak to someone like Angela, who right now taught us both how to actually think about bringing our business and scaling it.   This wisdom is the kind of wisdom that I want you to have access to in your own sector. In your own business, in your own life. And I want to really teach you how to get the confidence, the guts, how to ask the right questions to people just like Angela Middleton. So go ahead and email me, Melissa at Melissa Llarena.   com. And I will give you a link to the three questions that. Every mom entrepreneur has to ask herself before approaching anyone that might feel a little intimidating. I don't want you to feel intimidated by conversations like this. And I want you to realize, think about the value that Angela gave in this conversation on this podcast.   Wouldn't you want access to people in your world just like that? Wouldn't you want to know how to confidently? Network with people that are in these circles that have better opportunities and just a lot more insights that you can take and act upon immediately. I want that for you. So what I'll do is I will email you the link to the three questions you need to build your confidence.   So here's the last point. I promise. So what Angela said pertaining to really putting the mask on first is something that we have heard so often. Um, But I want you to really, really consider this idea today, this very week, in the most actionable way humanly possible. I want you, when you're presented with an opportunity to not put on your own mask versus putting on your mask, I want you to choose yourself.   And those were actually the words of another podcast guest, someone else that I networked with, James Altucher. He was my guest number five, put the mask on yourself, put the mask on yourself. Reach out to me for the worksheet. Also in the actual show notes, I'll even put in a free link there. So you could just reach out and download the link yourself

Welcome to Episode 219. As a mom, have you ever asked yourself? Am I doing it right? Am I ruining them? Am I going to be responsible for them needing therapy when they grow up? As moms, especially in the early days, we need so much reassurance and being able to rely on our intuition is tough. Yet, that is exactly what today's guest shares with us and helps us to learn to trust! Meet Kanika Chadda Gupta. She is a seasoned CNN television journalist podcaster and mom of three. And in that three, they're twins. Her goal is to give credit where it's often overlooked which is the lasting impact of living your purpose and modeling that for the next generation. She hosts the popular podcast That's Total Mom Sense.   This episode is brought to you by: A Mental Health Break for Mom Business Leaders, a FREE 30-minute webinar, for mom business owners who want to be both present moms and focused business owners. Sign-up today: https://bit.ly/mindmom Key takeaways: Listen to your intuition (it's not just for moms!) Kids are your mirrors (their behavior reflects yours) Taming toddler meltdowns (practical tips!) The unique journey of raising twins This episode covers: Ditching the self-doubt: Stop asking "am I doing it right?" and start trusting your instincts! The power of intuition: It's not just a "mom thing" - everyone has it! Understanding your kids: Learn how their behavior is a reflection of you. Conquering meltdowns: Practical tips to help your little one (and yourself!) through tough moments. The joys (and challenges) of raising twins: Gain insights from a mom who's been there! Head to the transcript for more information and resources! This episode is brought to you by: A Mental Health Break for Mom Business Leaders, a FREE 30-minute webinar, for mom business owners who want to be both present moms and focused business owners. Sign-up today: https://bit.ly/mindmom Learn the exact process that meditation practitioner, bestselling author, business coach, and mom to three young boys, Melissa Llarena, follows to have a consistent meditation practice despite no longer having privacy, time, nor a meditation closet. You will walk away with a step-by-step approach for designing your own ritual and you will get a mental break to THINK more strategically about your business and mom life too. Live Webinar March 1, 2024 10:00am Central Time Includes: Instantly receive upon sign-up Free meditation prompts (get centered in two minutes or fewer) Mindfulness i.e. meditation ritual ideas to become a more present mom and business leader 30 minute Q&A with Melissa Join LIVE to enter a drawing for a guest spot on Unimaginable Wellness the podcast for mom founders, entrepreneurs, and creators Led by Melissa Llarena Top ForbesWomen contributor with 4M+ views. Author of a the #1 Amazon Bestseller entitled: Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact. Mom to a singleton son who is 12 and a set of identical twin boys who are ten. A Psychology degree from NYU, and an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, she holds a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate and is a student in the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program Class of 2025. Sign-up today: https://bit.ly/mindmom Connect with Melissa the host: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ Official bio for guest There's no hood like parenthood! Kanika Chadda Gupta, a seasoned CNN television journalist, podcaster, and mother of three (including twins), aims to give credit where it's often overlooked - the lasting impact of living your purpose and modeling that for the next generation. She hosts the popular podcast That's Total Mom Sense, where she interviews public figures on their life lessons, parenting journey, and legacy. Guests include Chelsea Clinton, Kelly Rowland, Bobbi Brown, America Ferrera, Sarah Harden, Rebecca Minkoff, Reshma Saujani, Shannon Lee. She has worked in partnership with the March of Dimes, Mom 2.0, Mother Honestly, and the White House. Her show has been ranked #1 on Goodpods for Motherhood and Kanika has been featured in Forbes and on ABC, NBC, Fox, Cheddar, and CBS. Guest links: https://www.thatstotalmomsense.com https://www.instagram.com/kanikachaddagupta/ https://twitter.com/kanikachadda https://www.facebook.com/kanikachaddagupta Transcript Kanika, I am so thrilled to have a fellow mom of multiple who has three kids in total. And as a podcaster. Like me, on this episode, I'm so thrilled to have you here. Kanika. Thank you, Melissa. It's my pleasure. I was doing my homework, because that's what we do. And I was so curious about your thoughts on mom sense, as it relates to a lot of us that at one time felt like we were on top of the world, maybe we're in powerful positions, and then all of a sudden, we have this like, baby, and we're like,   Kanika  10:53  I don't know what to do, and what to do with them all day. And will I survive? And will they survive? So like, help us feel powerful? Help us feel like we could handle anything, even this child? Yes, yes, I would love to, I think we all need to recognize the strengths and gifts we have. And we all have the power of intuition. It's our North star. It's something that directs us in the right direction. And, and we should just listen to that inner voice because it just it can do no wrong. And I feel when we first become parents, we second guess ourselves because there's so much noise. There are in laws and your own parents and friends and teachers and child caregivers that are all like you have to do it this way, you got to do it this like, and I just I feel like if this is your child only you know how to raise it best, him or her best. So just trust that. And I say this from experience, because I had my three kids in one fell swoop, I had twins. And when they were just nine months old, like just think of baby boy, baby girl, nine months can't even sit up, still swaddled all of that, I got pregnant with my third. And so I was just thrown into the deep end, I was not expecting. And it was really by the grace of God that I had the kids. So I just thought, Okay, God gives you what you can handle. And I am up for this challenge. And as much as I tapped into my kind of skill set as a journalist, I would ask everybody I knew questions, including the Amazon rep. I would be like, Do you have kids? Which bottle did you use? Which one Dr. Brown Ma'am, you tell me. And so I just was like I'm doing all this data gathering, I read a ton of books. And then I started listening, listening to podcasts. And in the end, as much as I learned so much from everyone's stories and experiences. I knew that only I can chart my path for what I want to do for my family and I can glean from everyone else. But I know what's up, and I'm just gonna do it my way. And I want everyone to feel that. Agreed totally. And I think the novelty at least for me and my family of having twins almost made it like a requirement. It's like, hey, we don't know how to handle it. So you definitely need to figure this out on your own right? Like, is that something that maybe was common for you? Were there a lot of like, oh, I have twins too. And I have triplets too and or did you have to like chart your own path? Because he were like one of the first? Yeah, yeah. So I do have friends who had twins before me and I leaned on them. But even that I feel like we all had our very different journeys. And there's something so beautiful in that like there's certain things that I was I learned where I had boy girl twins and I didn't want to buy pink and blue of everything. And brides were telling me you don't need to buy two of everything. It's just as much as you can obviously double stroller, car seats and high chairs. But other than that the toys that they play with like their swaddles their whatever it was, it was like just make sure it's gender neutral and like everybody we got to share. So I was just like, Okay, we're gonna go gray, gray and yellow. That's fine. So that's something that I did learn. I did end up nursing the kids for a year and then my youngest also. And so that was something that I kind of figured out on my own and everyone has their own like journey there. But I wanted to do it I was able to produce so I did it and I had a twin Z pillow that I used where they get to just kind of fit in each nuk and in a football hold. You can feed them Sam   Kanika  15:00  I'll take it slowly for the first three months, and then they get a little big, and then you just feed them one by one. But I did that, and then I found a lactation consultant to support me. And so there's certain things that I was like, I'm going to do this differently. I don't have to just take a cue from everyone who's had twins or multiples before me. Yeah, I think yeah, tandem nursing, for me was definitely a unique adventure that distinguished my entire mommyhood experience, I will say, amongst others. And I would say, you're right, everyone out there that's listening right now you you get to choose, right, like how you nourish your babies. And that's a very viable use of your mom's sense, right? Your intuition. It's like, wait a minute, does this feel good for me? Like, is this possible, given my life goals and the realities of my support system, so there's so many uses for for mom sense. And your mom's sense, is starting to really remind me of a fertile imagination. So when I wrote my book, fertile imagination, it's being able to cast a vision for your life that you may have never seen ever before, in the history of time in the life of another mom. And so it's really interesting, because you have to, you need almost like an inner stillness, both in the case of accessing your imagination, and what I'm hearing from you, in the case of like listening to your intuition, your inner guide. So stillness, and mom have multiples or three kids like that seems like an oxymoron. Like, how do we do this? How do we achieve stillness in the most chaotic of homes and situations, especially those early days? So you can listen to your mom sense and be like, I know the answer. Right, right. Yeah, no, you're so right. I mean, there is so much action, entropy. Just know, it's everything. When you have multiples, and as a twin mom, you know, this. So I, I feel like it's in those moments, oftentimes, like, right before bed, when I am by myself, I keep a notebook by my bed. And it's like, a place where I can use as a gratitude journal and write what I'm grateful for, or things that I'm thinking about, or ideas that I have. And so that's like my brain dump. And that's what I do when I when I know I have the stillness, and that's like, literally, I'd say, around like, 838 30 to nine, the kids are fast asleep. And I have my time. And it's not like wee hours of the morning when you're still like groggy.   Kanika  17:44  Yeah, I get that. I mean, I personally have a really early bedtime. But I mean, priorities change. If we're up at dawn. You can't stay up late. It's just we need our sleep. And I rather actually get up at dawn, then stay up late. Like, I don't know, I feel weird that way. But like, that's just like my thing. So okay, so here we go. We figured out that we have this like inner guidance, this inner GPS, right. So mom's sense. And I know you've mentioned even dad sense, like, that's also a thing as well. Okay, we figured it out. But let's say we're like stubborn. And we're like, what? This one time I rather consult with an expert or this one time, I'm going to do the opposite. Have you ever found yourself in a situation like that? Is there like a story you could kind of share? Ooh, yeah. And I think it's still you're trusting your intuition to tell you to do that. So it's, it's stemming from somewhere. But yeah, I would say it's, I guess, something that I made a mistake on. And my mom's sense, tells me this, and that's why I changed things around for my third. So we did have childcare help with the twins. She was amazing. And so she taught me how to make pureed foods for for them. So we did pureed everything like it. And they started with rice cereal, and being from the same South Asian background, a lot of the foods were things that were kind of ancient and like, tried and tested for our cultural, like cultural background. So there was like a rice dish with turmeric and lentils like all that stuff. So my kids basically got used to that what Khichdi Khichdi, oatmeal pureed fruits and veggies for their from one to two and onwards. And when I saw other moms doing toddler led weaning where they're like giving their kids little pieces of carrots and cucumbers and snap peas and like everything to pick up on their own, it's like it's a straight up mess underneath   Kanika  20:00  That highchair I get and it just makes me shudder with because of my OCD. But the good side is that the children actually get a feel for different textures, different flavors, different, like fragrances to food, and they get to manipulate it. They love all things sensory. And they're actually using their fine motor skills, their pincers to be able to pick up like a small grain of rice or green B. So I didn't do that with the twins. I was like, No, we got up here everything. And with my third eye was like, No, we're flipping the script. I want him to be able to pick up his food. And even though not as much as gonna get in, we can supplement that with some spoon feeding after. But my mom said said to like, listen to the moms who are doing that, and the experts that I had on pediatricians and kind of culinary experts when it comes to toddlers and toddler led weaning, and I was like, I'm gonna do it this way. That's fascinating, because I'm thinking about it for me like, okay, so I'm Latina. And certainly I could have been like rice and beating up my kids when they were little, little little. Yeah, I did. Yeah, they'll do. nourishing, that's a no brainer. There's iron in there. Okay, I'll stop with that. I could do a whole episode on the value of lagoons. Anyway. Yeah, the whole point is like, culturally, it's really interesting. Because culturally, and I call it almost like a cultural glass ceiling, again, in my book and for imagination, but it's like a certain way of mothering, right, and a certain way of like translating tradition, heritage, culture, and all these things, and having the palate right for the different foods that exist in our cultures, I find is so fascinating. And like, these are like acts of bravery. When you opt to do something that is very different than then a culture like we're talking like DNA different. Did you get any commentary from anyone when you decided to change the script there? Of course, of course, I mean, I just I feel like everyone's so opinionated, and especially those from previous generations. So they're like, why would you do it this way? This, this doesn't seem right, you know, and like, I raised all my kids on this   Kanika  22:32  ad, so I know what's going on. But it's just again, it's like, you trusting your built in sixth sense to be like, yeah, I get that I see you. But I want to do it this different way. Because I see that there's a greater value in this. But yeah, you're gonna get the pushback, and you have to stand your ground, you know, because again, I always feel like, even though we're second guessing ourselves, and we're unsure, Am I doing it right? Am I ruining them?   Kanika  23:01  The fact that we care is like a testament in itself. Secondly, it's like, best you really, really do. Yeah, and there's this philosophy out there. And I don't know your thoughts on it. But like I was, I heard through the grapevine that our kids pick us to view their parents. I'm just wondering, like, I'm thinking to myself, Okay, my kids definitely are teaching me a lot of the things that I need to learn, right, like humility, patience, everything, keeping it in holding my tongue. All these things are being taught to me and I'm wondering, I'm like, did they pick me to like, teach me everything that I think get a chance to learn as a little girl? Like, right? What do you think about this? Because also, you said, God only gives you what he knows you can handle. And I've had questions. I'm like, God, like, are we serious? You really think a lot of me like, like, Please, please. Right? So you tell me, what's your philosophy? What's your thinking? Like? Are these like many teachers, many sages, like in our midst, or Paul, I really do think so. I think that they're, they're put on this earth. They are the personalities that they are to guide us and sometimes that's to challenge us. And they're, as much as they're so different. I don't feel like kids are supposed to be the extension of you and they're not supposed to live out your dreams or anything like that. But they are your mirror. And it's like when you see your five year old self in their face. You just come back to how would I have wanted to be parented and I find that a lot I find this most with my daughter because I have she's one of the one of the twins, and then my and then I have my two sons, but with her she is an empath to her core.   Kanika  25:00  are just like me, she really feels for people. And she can cry really easily. She's sensitive. And, and she's also a perfectionism. She doesn't get her way, she gets really frustrated about that. And this was me, this was always me. So when I think back to like, she's seven, now my seven year old self, I was exactly like that. And so if I don't validate where she's coming from, it's really disenfranchising, you know, and I just think, okay, if I were, what would I want to hear, and, and means for self regulation, when it comes to just social emotional, like something that we have learned, we did, we do two things. One is, name it, claim it, tame it. So name, kind of what the scenario is why you're upset, claim that you're feeling frustrated, disappointed, angry, and then tame it. Now let's find a way to let that anger out or let those tears out. But like, let it go, in the end, be able to let it go and not hold on to it. And so that's just really, really important. That's like an exercise that I do for myself now. And it's so important. And then another one is, the five senses, that's a that's a way to tame, if you will, so when she's like, in the middle of like, let's say she, she used to get so upset when she like messed up on artwork, she'd be like, Oh, my God, I made a mistake I was or over like, I was coloring this rabid art. And she, like, totally, just just get so emotional about it. So we'll talk about how that's frustrating all that. And then it's like, let's, let's bring it back. Let's bring it back to this present moment. So we'll do our five senses, tell me five things you see. And then she'll be like, my water bottle, the crayon, the paper, the Chair, I'm sitting on this room. And then it's for tell me four things that you hear three things that you can feel. So feel around you. Two things that you can smell, and one thing that you taste, and all of a sudden, it just diffuses everything. Because you're like, where am I right now? What's around me? What's going on, and your feelings don't get the best of you. Yeah, and I think it's funny because it's, it's like a body scan meditation, basically,   Kanika  27:37  I'm becoming like, this is where this is where it's gotten me being a mom of multiple, I'm literally literally becoming a meditation practitioner, like, needed, how needed it is in my life with three boys. So what you just described is exactly that which I teach, which is a body scan meditation. And it's so interesting, because oftentimes, we live our lives outside of our bodies, and we disassociate instead of really making some sort of peace with how we feel, and then bringing to our awareness, where these sensations are, and just being really, really present to it so that this way we could work through it. And so what I'm hearing kind of going, I don't know if this is on purpose, or it may be it's your mom's sense, leading the way. But it sounds to me like you're forming some sort of connection for your kids to their kids sense. Yes, 100% 100%, I want them to have this tool, it's in your back pocket. And it's something that like, I think of like how we talked about just being able to rise to this challenge. I knew I always wanted to be a mom, when I was a kid. But there were certain things that I saw my parents doing that I was like, Yeah, I wouldn't, I would do this differently. And I didn't get my needs met. And I think I had to learn how to deal with my emotions and my sensitivity and everything like much later in life like 30s. And now that I'm in my 40s, it's like this, like, just kind of reckoning and attitude where like, I see myself, I can call it out, I know how I feel when I feel it, and I'm going to just be able to like, deal with it. But I never really had that skill. And I think my kids brought that out in me, because I was like, I have to see some of the skill.   Kanika  29:32  I'm teaching myself and, and really breaking cycles, because it's not something that I could turn to as a kid and my parents were immigrant parents and just moved from India.   Kanika  29:46  They moved with me I was two years old. They were just trying to put food on the table and survive. So they weren't being like let's sit down and do a meditation session and everything's like Kumbaya. No, you know, and so I had to like raise myself and I had   Kanika  30:00  This history was seven years or younger. And I and my grandmother raised her. And so I think just a quick like, aside to that, I remember when she was born, because it was like having this little doll, I took care of how you would take the bottle and test it on your wrist to make sure I knew how to do that. When I was seven, I was like, give me the baby.    

This week on Marketing Like a Mother, Olivia is talking with Melissa Llarena, author of the Amazon bestseller Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact. Melissa shares her insights on how to harness your imagination and create a thriving business while staying sane as a mompreneur. They discuss: - Waking Up Your Imagination - Playing with Your Imagination - Stretching Your Imagination - The Power of Boredom and Stillness - Bringing Your Child Along for the Ride - and more!

Attend a mental health break for mom business leaders on March 1st. Sign-up today for free meditation prompts fit for mom business owners who want to be both present moms and focused business owners - Details (sign-up and get the prompts instantly): https://bit.ly/mindmom Learn the exact process that meditation practitioner, bestselling author, business coach, and mom to three young boys, Melissa Llarena, follows to have a consistent meditation practice despite no longer having privacy, time, nor a meditation closet. You will walk away with a step-by-step approach for designing your own ritual and you will get a mental break to THINK more strategically about your business and mom life too. Live Webinar March 1, 2024 10:00am Central Time   Includes: Instantly receive upon sign-up Free meditation prompts (get centered in two minutes or fewer) Mindfulness i.e. meditation ritual ideas to become a more present mom and business leader 30 minute Q&A with Melissa Join LIVE to enter a drawing for a guest spot on Unimaginable Wellness the podcast for mom founders, entrepreneurs, and creators Led by Melissa Llarena Top ForbesWomen contributor with 4M+ views. Author of a the #1 Amazon Bestseller entitled: Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact. Mom to a singleton son who is 12 and a set of identical twin boys who are ten. A Psychology degree from NYU, and an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, she holds a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate and is a student in the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program Class of 2025. https://bit.ly/mindmom ​

Welcome to Episode 217. Did you know that February 17th is Random Acts of Kindness Day? My plea is to count yourself in! Moms can perform random acts of kindness and be the recipient of them too! Did you know that when you are kind or generous to others that you can feel a helper's high? I bet you have oodles of ideas of things you can do with your kids and today's guest shares her thoughts on those too. However, what I found fascinating is that, despite being a busy mom of two, Jennifer Klein a seasoned philanthropist and author on the topic of giving, has cracked the code on how to be an everyday philanthropist and reap the rewards of exuding a generous spirit! She's getting that boost in her mental health every week and as a mom I'm know you can use this unstoppable feeling on any given day to change your energy for the maximum! In today's episode, there are also a ton of practical insights and giving ideas fit for a mom with her own business. You'll hear about your options – should you go all in on cause marketing, strategically partnering with a nonprofit, or donate company funds to support a cause that's on your heart? Listen for fresh ways to consider these options.  This episode is brought to you by my #1 Amazon bestselling book, Fertile Imagination, A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact. ·      You can find a link to the Amazon website here: https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas/ Ask me anything about this episode, my book, or mom in business life on Instagram ·      Follow me: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ Free resources for mom entrepreneurs! ·      Are you a mom entrepreneur with a big vision? Sign-up for a free 30-minute Business Goal Progress Analysis & Course Correct session https://www.melissallarena.com/sessions/ ·      Is your business stuck? Take this quiz for moms to maximize your potential - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/64fb50ebd9dce900148cdff8 ·      Grab your seat for my free webinar focused on your 2024 ultimate business success Mom Mogul Makeover - https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/7e884a0f0a Jennifer Klein Official Bio and Links Jenn Klein, CFRE, CHC, is a world-class and highly respected nonprofit fundraiser, speaker, coach, and one of the most brilliant minds on philanthropy. She is the founder and CEO of You Are A Philanthropist merchandise shop and podcast, a major gift officer for a Catholic school, an independent consultant with Arbonne International, and a proud mother of two boys. For more than 18 years, Jenn has helped nonprofits grow through best fundraising practices and strategies. Jenn also coaches individuals to make healthy lifestyle choices, which, at their core, include giving to charity. Jenn is on a mission to share the benefits of generosity, not just for others but also for yourself and our world. She just published her first book "Giving is Selfish", which can be found on Amazon. ·      https://www.youareaphilanthropist.com ·      https://www.instagram.com/_jennklein/ ·      Giving Is Selfish: https://www.amazon.com/Giving-Selfish-Change-World-Yourself/dp/B0CLK2STJT ·      Type unimaginablewellness for a 20% off coupon code for any merchandise on youareaphilanthropist.com TRANSCRIPT Jen Klein, welcome to unimaginable wellness. I am so excited. You won the drawing from my Mom Mogul Makeover webinar! Congratulations.  Thank you, Melissa. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to win this opportunity. I am excited to have you here just for anyone that's listening and catching this in January, I had the opportunity to deliver a talk for mom moguls and Jennifer won the drawing of appearing as a guest on today's podcast. And so I am so excited to have Jen here. I'm also really excited for this very, like. Secret sneaky reason so not only does Jen Klein have an amazing like business, but it's also in the art of generosity, the spirit of giving, and I was like, holy cow, how perfect is that right to like. Have a lucky winner. Be like a giver and generous human and nonprofit expert. So Jen share with listeners a bit about your background. Certainly share a bit about your book and, and we could just like get into this conversation. I'm excited. You are so kind. Thank you for saying that. I've been a fundraiser for 20 years in nonprofits and it's my passion. And when I became a full time mom about eight years ago, I wanted to continue to stay in my field of fundraising, but found myself a fundraiser without a nonprofit since I became a full time mom. And I decided to start blogging and I blogged about, like you said, the general, the, the good feelings. Of generosity and it was really inspired by a quote that I heard from Denzel Washington and he said giving is selfish and I was shocked. I had to replay it. I thought he said giving is selfless. And that is always what I internalized and believed giving was about was being selfless and he turned it on a dime and made me realize that giving feels good. And so I wrote my book called Giving is Selfish that recently I published on Amazon and it highlights how good it feels to give. I love that. And I think what's, what's really, really compelling and something that I want to just grab onto that you just said, you said that you're a nonprofit professional, but you didn't find yourself having a nonprofit. And I was thinking to myself, well, I will say this. Having three children of my own, there is no profit making in my family. So that's really nonprofit in terms of just the family structure. But, but I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. And so it, it does flip the thinking on his head as far as giving is. Selfless to selfish. And so I'm sure your book garnered a lot of attention because of its title. I'm wondering, as someone who wrote her own book, myself having written a book, was there something that you learned about yourself as a mom through the actual process of having written this book?  I think that's such a great question and something I do discuss in my book about how much I learned about being a mother when I became a mother. As many new moms, I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know what I was in for. And I found myself struggling to work on myself and, and be a good mom. By taking care of myself and so when we practice self care, we are giving to our Children when we are taking care of ourselves, we are inspiring and giving to our Children and I think that was such an important life lesson that I learned from being a full time mom and I to this day and for the rest of my life will balance my giving scale, which is what I mean by that is taking care of myself so that I can take care of others. That sounds like a really important thing to become more self aware of. I know that a lot of mom founders, creators, and entrepreneurs, they have it in their heart to give and having created a business that might be one avenue through which they give. And, and this balance that you mentioned, I'm sure it plays a role also, even in the world of commerce, where someone might want to do some cause marketing, or someone might want to strategically partner with a nonprofit organization. So here's the question that I have and the context that I provide is that I actually started a nonprofit and this was several years ago. But I also had my coaching practice. And so the thinking was, well, let me create a nonprofit so that this way I have full ownership of who gets a scholarship or not, because that was part of what I was going to be contributing. And then of course I spoke to an expert who said, well, Melissa. That's a lot of extra work. It's like having an entire other business. So my balance would have been totally like topsy turvy. I would have been so lopsided. It's not even funny. Jennifer, Jen, as an expert in this space, a mom that wants to have, wants to be mentor and like exhibit to her child, what giving looks like and the benefits, how can someone that's a founder think about doing good through the avenue of their business, but in a way that.   They don't end up being so lopsided.  I think that was really wise of you to seek counsel and to realize that you don't have the time to commitment that is required to start a non profit. Starting a non profit is something that I also realized. I wasn't able to create, even though it's a wonderful thing to put into the world and that the world needs more of, but I think that there is, especially for mothers who are in business, there are other avenues to pursue in order to give back one could be giving in your example, through a nonprofit for scholarship, or could be giving back in their business.   To, to charity. So for me, for example, I give back some proceeds of mine to charity so that I feel connected to my mission, connected to my community and, and I reap the benefits because that feels good. That makes a lot of sense. So then in terms of making that decision, right. And in terms of really having not just a business, but then also a family, like for me, and I'm sure for other listeners, it's like, you feel like you just are giving 24  seven and now we want to add on our long list of to do's another act of.   Help us see the social rate of return, right? Or the nonprofit rate of return. I think it's the SROI. I don't know why I'm not getting the exact acronym correctly. You correct me when you answer the question, but how can we get the benefit and not out? Like just drain ourselves to no avail. Like I want to add giving, but at the same time as a parent and a business owner, you give a lot when you're marketing your business.   Like you don't get paid for the marketing necessarily. You give a lot as a mom, like for me, three meals a day, I'm giving those out. And now we want to add giving. So why is it that that would make good sense from like an energy perspective, even like Biological perspective. What are some benefits? What's the SROI on giving for a mom entrepreneur who gives all the time?   I think it's, I think you're so spot on to recognize the unrecognized work that mothers do giving back to our children is crucial to making the world a better place. So I think starting with the mindset that. What I'm doing at home is really important and feeling successful in that area of your life is, is really an important component to ensuring that you feel good about what you're doing.   And really, my message is I want people to feel good about what they're doing at home in their business and in their community. And. If they feel like they have the time to, to donate in some area of their life to a, in their community, they will reap the benefits of better social connection, better mental health, better physical health.   It's been proven science that  giving back. lowers your blood pressure. So there are physical benefits that we know from science that giving back feels good. So it's not just as Denzel Washington said, something that is. It's intangible that we can't quantify. It's also something that we have quantified through science.   Is there like a story, maybe it could be a personal story or someone that's included in your book that you can share with listeners that might be thought provoking or just kind of helpful as far as giving us some sort of next steps, like choosing the best way for us to give, not just so that it bubble wraps our sanity, but that it aligns with even like the business that we might have.   Yeah, so I think first of all, I have a podcast called you are a philanthropist where I interviewed 30 philanthropists who I have deemed philanthropists, even though perhaps by society standards, they aren't the millionaires. Giving lots of money to, to charity, but in their everyday lives, they're committing some sort of their time commitment to a charity of their choice.   So for me personally, I like to be a soccer coach, which is what I'm doing later in the day today. And I also like to give to my local food pantry, which is about two hours. Every other month I go around my neighborhood, pick up bags from people's porches and deliver it to my food pantry. So that's something that I'm really excited about and something that my children actually do with me now.   So I love teaching them about how we have so much and how we can give back. Some of the guests that I interviewed really are inspiring. I encourage your listeners to check it out wherever they find a podcast.  For me, I was really inspired by a friend of mine who has a child who is severely disabled and he needs a full time ventilator, full time nurse at home, and yet she has found a way to give back to the Ronald McDonald house.   She does a run with him in his wheelchair every year and raises money through, through that run. And she also  It gives back through stocking the pantries at the Ronald McDonald house. And her name's Daphne bird singer. If anybody wanted to listen to that episode of the you are philanthropist podcast.  So she, she really inspires me in her everyday life.   She's giving back to her, her children. She has three children and I'm privileged to know what a great woman she is, how committed she is to her community, her family, and her business.  So let me ask you this question as far as personally. So when you actually go through your day and you insert an act of giving, however that might take shape for you, explain to listeners.   How you feel after doing that act or during the act, like really get vivid into it, because I want to understand just like what it feels like to give, even as a mom that already has her own like podcast and practice, wrote a book, has kids, like, how does it feel to give for you personally? Yeah, that's a great question.   I think for me, I do feel really good about. Doing work in my community and feeling inspired by those who are also doing work in my community and feeling like together we're making a bigger difference. I think sometimes we overlook little acts of charity, little acts of kindness, and, but these little things add up and do make a difference.   For example, just holding the door at the Dunkin Donuts for the person behind you, that's an act of kindness. Being kinder to the cashier when maybe someone was not kinder before you. So these everyday acts that I do are, are something that I say to myself, you put some good into the world. You made the world a better place for at least one person.   So it sounds to me that anyone can be a philanthropist. That's what I believe. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. And then here's the other thing. So back to someone that has a business, back to someone that has to make a decision, like strategically partner with a nonprofit, donate money in some sort of other way, I don't even know, I can't even imagine right now, maybe like participating in someone's Kickstarter, for example.   Or creating their own nonprofit. Is there any sort of wisdom that you can share with us, with listeners who have a business, we want to do good and we want to make a decision, the right decision for us, like choosing path a B or C, like any sort of question that we can hold on to and really just ask ourselves before moving forward in any given direction.   So I think finding what you're most passionate about is the key to. Your success with giving back  for me, that's my local food pantry and for others that might be a mental health organization or a cancer research organization, whatever it is that you find yourself that you want to commit your time to, you should pursue that.   Because if you're not passionate about giving back, it is going to be draining and it's not going to be fulfilling and where your passion leads you is where you should go. Got it. That makes, so that makes sense because it's the same in terms of a business, right? Like if you're not passionate about it, even if the market opportunity is gigantic, it's going to feel more draining because it's like you need a lift.   Like as a mom entrepreneur, like we need every lift that we could possibly imagine. And this is so not about plastic surgery, even though the thought just popped in my mind, but maybe I could use a lift there too, but I choose not to at this stage of my life. But I think. Any opportunity that a mom has to go in the direction that excites her beyond belief, like we're talking like giddy, like, Oh my gosh, I cannot believe I had the opportunity to do this today with them.   Like, if you feel that, then I would say that could be like the next step, right? So you have this like for profit entity, let's imagine, let's say you're a coach or whatever. And it makes sense for you to somehow be involved with dress for success as an example. Well, maybe the way that you participate does depend on what you can give.   Like you might have old suits, right? And right now we're like Zoom culture, cozy culture. So do you really need like that suit? I know. Don't so that's like one way, but then the other side of it is having tried it myself, just as like heads up sort of thing for anyone that's listening and Jen Klein, like your own sort of experiences, like the option is there to create like your own nonprofit, but be mindful that it actually does feel like a whole other business.   Yes. So. I would say personally, as my own guidance, I know that organizations I've worked with, they've been successful with cause marketing. And for them, the tie in is that there's some sort of connection between the brand promise of the for profit product and the actual organization with which you partner.   So like Dawn is a great example, the dishwashing detergent and like cleaning ducts in some oil water way.  And so that makes sense. But I think Additionally, you know what Jen said as far as the passion side of the house, I think that's absolutely important because specifically as a mom, you need that lift.   And so Jen, this has been really helpful. I think your perspective as anyone can be a philanthropist is like the big takeaway that I'm getting. And I also think that If we think about motherhood, not so much as like straight up philanthropy, but it kind of is in its own way. I really do think it kind of is in its own way, but it's a way that is legacy building, right?   Like your DNA gets passed on. So you, you certainly reap the rewards. So Jen Klein, where can people continue to learn about you and your book and what you do? You should go to my website. You are a philanthropist. com. They can find more information about me on there, as well as look at my book, giving a selfish on Amazon.   And I did give a discount to your listeners. If they type in coupon code unimaginable wellness, they can get a discount, a 20 percent discount on my merchandise, which celebrates philanthropy. I'm also on Instagram and I love to connect there as well. Underscore Jen Klein. Beautiful. Thank you, Jen. So as far as bubble wrapping your own sanity, your own sanity, like you've got soccer going on, you've got work within your local community, like.   What's like one tangible thing that you do in order to stay sane? That's such a great question. And I am excited to say I'm getting a massage later today. So I have a monthly subscription to my local massage and I am very excited about that. I'm excited for you. I am like, like now I'm inspired. I'm like, okay, yeah, I should, I should do the same.   And I think it's. The funny thing about a massage is that it is self care for sure. And it does feel good, but there's like these benefits that somehow are additive, even to like business owners in a super tangible way, as far as like the stress levels that we have, I was reading the five o'clock 5 AM club.   I don't know if you know that book by Robin, I think it's Sharma or something. And that's part of his protocol. It's like two massages every week, and that can help make you like tip top performer. And so I think what you're doing is, is self care. It's self it's giving to yourself and it makes you a happier giver to everyone else.   So thank you for that tip. You're welcome. And if you don't schedule it monthly, it'll never happen. Amen to that. I totally know I have zero massages in the whole 2024 right now. So now you've got me going on that. Thank you, Jen, so much. Thank you, Melissa. Thanks for having me. Here are the three things that really captured my attention with regards to the conversation with Jen.   The first point is that you can be a philanthropist. You do not require an inordinate amount of time, nor millions or billions of dollars. And I think that is refreshing because even a Random act of kindness today, again, in light of February 17th is something that is going to give you those giving benefits that Jen spoke of.   The second point is that Jen did say that giving has biological benefits. And I think if you want to really think about ways to bubble wrap your sanity as a mom, entrepreneur, founder, or creator. This offers a very productive solution. So if you actually intend to give in any sort of way, whether it's your time or even your skills, please be aware it might be selfish and that is okay.   The third point is that Jen and I really talked about this idea that should you start your own nonprofit? Let's say that you have a for profit organization or business or consultancy practice, and you're thinking about a nonprofit. Is this a path that makes sense for you? Is this going to make business sense?   Is this going to be in alignment with the amount of time you have to give on a weekly basis to your business? Well, from my perspective and Jen's, it's really important to understand that creating a nonprofit is an entire business in and of itself. And if you feel like you can be at the helm of leadership in both entities at the same time and be a mom, then God bless you.   And I definitely support you. So let me know how I can help you really make that true. Otherwise, there are options such as cause marketing and donating actual money from your business to an organization that makes sense, given what Jen said. So given your passion, which that is going to help give you the lift you need and be invigorated by your donations or your giving, or given in alignment with the services that you offer and your main value proposition.   Please be aware, this is really strategic and it's something that I could absolutely support you with. Reach out to me on Instagram at Melissa Lerina. This is in the show notes at M E L I S S A L L A R E N A. Let me know if you would like some guidance pertaining to the very next step with regards to your business.   Oftentimes we don't know what we don't know. So get on the phone with me. Let me know how I can be of service. What question is on your mind? So I could help answer it or point you in the best direction. I am someone who truly believes that through networking, we can each find our angels. And in that way, I want to support you this very week.   So go ahead. Do not be shy. Get on Instagram at Melissa Llarena. Hope you enjoyed this conversation. Be sure to share this with one mom entrepreneur in that very way you are actually giving. And again, February 17th is a random act of kindness day. So celebrate it as Jen suggested. And I hope you do get that massage just like Jen shall be doing.   Thank you again.

Welcome to Episode 213. Are you a mom entrepreneur who struggles with impostor syndrome,  wants to nip overwhelm in the bud, wishes to realize the power of networking and/or wants to turn her business and mom life AROUND in 2024? If yes then hit PLAY. Say hi to me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ This is a recording from my free webinar that I conducted on January 9th, entitled Mom Mogul Makeover. You'll hear how you can put the insights enclosed in my bestselling book Fertile Imagination into action as a mom with a business. This conversation goes beyond any expected insights on productivity, goal-setting, and motherhood. It's for moms who seek a fresh perspective that's plugged into reality. It's also perfect for you if you know entrepreneurship is the journey you wish to pursue wholeheartedly for more than three years. Oh, also listen to the end, there is a free opportunity for those listening until the end exclusively for moms with their own businesses.  To take advantage of that opportunity here is the link: https://www.melissallarena.com/sessions/. This link is for you to secure your free 30-minute breakthrough call with me, which I will invite you to at the end of this webinar. You'll hear me reference it.  As further context, this webinar is focused on the game changing five insights that have helped catapult me into success which I want for you too in 2024. So please enjoy the conversation, enjoy the webinar, and let me know if you have any questions. You can ask me your questions on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ And yet another reason to go to Instagram is that I'd love to know who got value out of this; let me know you are here so I can see who's listening ti keep you in mind as I'll be running future drawings for listeners. Thank you so much. TRANSCRIPT Hello there. My name is Melissa Llarena and I'll share with you my little bio a little later on, but I wanted to just be sure that we are optimizing this time as we are moms in the thick of it. Even if you're a mom who has. Her kid is an adult. You're still in the thick of it because you still care with all your heart and soul. And so this is time away from them, but it's time on you and your business. And so I honor that. And I respect that. And I just want to invite you to really pour into yourself during this webinar. Take what feels is going to serve you in 2024 and really consider how you will embody some of these insights. So that 2024 is. As successful as you, as you deserve it to be. So this presentation, I'm just going to jump into it again. I will introduce myself later on, but I just want to be sure that I optimize our time together. So mom mogul makeover. The makeover is really going to be about mindset shifts that you will want to reflect upon. And flip so that they work in your favor. So I'm going to share with you the five lips, and it's really going to be important. If you've ever struggled with imposter syndrome, or you have felt overwhelmed, or you don't feel like you have the right connections to catapult your business success. So here we go. Here's the plan. So M. R. O. Y. What is that? I will share with you. I want to also share with you a little bit of what might be going on in your psyche just to see if any of this lands. Then we'll go through the real problem as well as who I am. I promise I would tell you. And then we'll go one by one through the five mindset shifts. And then at the end, you'll be able to make a decision for yourself. I really like new vocabulary, but I'm not so into equations, but this is my equation. And this is something that I'm sure you have considered. So for a mom, it's not just about investing money and energy and time in her business, but it's also coming at a cost of you being away from your kids.   Also, it comes at a cost in terms of just the psychic energy that you have and the bandwidth that you're able to leverage at any given time, all of that to say, again, that's why this is 20 minutes and not 45 minutes. So what I think about when I think about what success means to a mom, I don't think about just an ROI. I really do think about a mom's ROI and I see them as completely different. And I also, if you've ever worked in a corporate setting, I also want you to consider that if you have ever asked for a raise, you are not just thinking about your ROI, but your mom ROI. And it's not just tangible like childcare expenses. It's also the fact that you're not with your kid and you miss them. Okay. So that is why this is 20 minutes. Moving on. Can you relate? And as I go through these, I want you to really think about 2023 and if you've ever experienced some of these ideas, have you ever felt intimidated, yet crazy excited about an outrageous business idea that you never pursued? A realistic, outrageous idea. So not something like putting someone on Mars, but an idea that you thought to yourself, holy cow, like if I could pull that off, I would be so thrilled and excited, and I might even have what it takes to pull it off, but maybe I'm not ready yet, or I need a lot more resources in order to pull it off. Have you ever had something like that happen to you? Has imposter syndrome ever caused you to opt for smaller steps when a bigger step was available? And here's the thing, we want to achieve a lot in a small amount of time. And so this could be seen as self-sabotage. But has it ever happened to you that it's been imposter syndrome? And you knew that you could take a big leap, but you decided to just go baby steps ahead instead. What about overwhelm? Is that like your go to emotion when you can't complete your to do list, maybe due to an interruption? What about this one? And this one I've heard consistently from clients. Have you ever felt disappointed because you couldn't push yourself hard enough to bring your best self to your business or your kids, or have you ever not networked because it felt like you're being needy or maybe it just felt awkward? Or embarrassing, like you're going to say the wrong thing or put your foot in your mouth or sounds silly. Like you just didn't know enough. And here's the last one. Is it hard for you to articulate your secret sauce as a professional? Because maybe you don't want to set up expectations too high because you know your shit would be one reason. Or you don't want to let others know the real you. Like there's something there that you don't think is as professional or qualified. So you don't want to reveal something about yourself that's still relevant, but feels a little too sensitive. Okay. Last one. Do you secretly punish or beat yourself up by overworking because you feel that you should be much further along in terms of your business goals? And this one is a hard one because it's celebrated, right, by society. Working hard, busting your ass, going above and beyond for clients. But could this be the reason why? So while all of that feels heavy and some of that feels relevant, and maybe there's one of those things that was the reason why you're here, I want to just share that there is good news on the other side of this. Like those are just symptoms. The real problem is that you haven't made what I call the shifts. Okay. And so here's what happens once you make these five shifts that I'm going to share with you in a bit. You will have an opportunity to cast a bigger vision than you have ever cast it for yourself before as a business professional. You're going to confidently seek shortcuts and straight paths to achieve your five year goals in one and pardon the language, turn imposter syndrome into your own bitch. I know that's so bad by taking bigger steps than those smaller ones. Okay. You will have greater self-awareness to identify when it's you who's making things harder for yourself versus the stories about being a good mom or a successful business owner. There's so many reasons things feel way harder for us, depending on where you are in your life stage as a mom and as a business owner too. And you will feel comfortable sharing and showcasing your secret sauce. You're going to feel good about your uniqueness. You're not going to feel like standing out is like a terrible thing to do. You're going to feel good about using your superpowers and telling people what they are. And you're also going to have a tool, an unexpected tool to help you enjoy the process of motherhood and growing your business. And if you've been around the block a couple of times, you have to enjoy the process in order to keep going along the process. Tenacity is not just something that I grin and bear. It's something that I have to embody and I have to make it enjoyable for me. I would not be here for 12 years if it has not been enjoyable. So who the heck is this person  with the hat? So here's the thing. I'm a normal human being. I just want to say that because as I wrote my book this year, fertile imagination, and it became a number one bestseller in two categories, mother and women in business. I had to take a step back myself and just reevaluate, like, who am I, why am I so blessed? What is it about me that really is drawn to serve you, mom entrepreneurs? And so I wanted to just share just a couple of highlights. But again, I am a very normal mom, but I will say that I do have a particular switch turned on, which I will absolutely share with you. Okay, so I mentioned it before bestselling author of fertile imagination host of a podcast called unimaginable wellness And here's my specialty It's helping ambitious moms really confidently put themselves out there right to achieve their meaningful business goals Meaningful is a really important word to me. Otherwise I could stay in corporate and make a lot of money in corporate. But if I can help you do something that's meaningful to you, your family society, then we all have one. And here's the thing as moms, we have such a rough terrain emotionally in terms of both of our roles, both as businesswomen and as moms. And in order to achieve anything that's difficult, you have to keep going during the ups and downs. And emotionally, you can totally self-sabotage. You can totally be slowed down if you let yourself be completely barraged by the emotional realities of both being an entrepreneur, which has very high expectations and a mom, which has very high expectations, both of which are very important to you. I've worked in a lot of places.  So, all this to say.  There's a Swiss army knife perspective that I bring to the world and to any client, whether you are in one vertical, in one country, or you have one child or multiples, I most likely have a very specific approach and framework that can help you. And we can tailor. I have degrees. Two of them here, but after I pursued my education because I wanted to be a good girl and in the eyes of my parents, I pursued more education because I wanted to be a good mom. And good coach. So I do have a coaching certificate and I am becoming a meditation practitioner and I'm a mom. I have been for 12 years, which parallels the length of time that I have also owned a business, a coaching practice. So everything that I'm going to share with you is based on firsthand experience, and it's also based on client experience, having worked with working moms and also working dads, which is interesting how you don't hear that phrase too often, for a very long time and through very different economic cycles, the good, the bad, the middle. So this is who I am, and I've been featured in a lot of things. What I want to just say in terms of all of these credentials and all of these features is this Everything that I've pursued it has not been on everyone else's timeline For example being featured in the wall street journal I believe that was like year two or for example getting a degree at nyu or getting one at business school It was done. So in a way that I had to earn my degrees and earn full rides to them. So everything that I've done has been things through the work of angels, which I will share with you in a bit, but I promise I'll keep this grounded and useful for you, a working mom. So here's the thing. The five shifts they come to me from completely Various experiences I've had in my life and in my career, and really, they are the keys to accelerating any goal that is meaningful to you. And again, I say that word over and over because I could say that I want to make seven figures. But I got to be honest, it's not meaningful enough, but if I say I want to build a treasure trove of networking contacts for my three little boys, so that this way, when they have a business idea, when they grow up, I have someone to refer them to, that means something to me. And that's also why my podcast has amazing guests. So here's the five shifts. Alrighty, a crazy goal can keep you sane. I know this sounds opposite and these shifts are all meant to really have you think, is she crazy? And that's okay. I'm totally, totally okay with that. So this is one out of five, a crazy goal can keep you sane. I recall there were several opportunities in my business where I could have gone for incremental lift in my business in terms of sales goals, or I could have gone for the expected next distribution channel, creating a product for like, I don't even know. 49 or something, but that was totally rational, but not emotionally driven. It wasn't enough to be like, yeah, I'm going to skip nighttime reading with my three little boys in order to go after building a 29 product, like it just didn't do it for me, but what did keep me going and made me way more sane during a rough patch of my motherhood experience was going after a crazy goal. So quickly, here's the goal. The goal that I pursued was launching a podcast and having Gary Vaynerchuk, who has millions of people that follow him, and James Altucher on my podcast. That is a crazy ass goal. The reason why it kept me going was because I decided for a hundred days to write a thousand words every day, and I don't know if it all adds up mathematically, but a thousand words or so a day on Medium.com in order to get their attention. Every single day. That was the choice that I made. Let me write this out so that this way I could get either of them on my podcast. Right? These are entrepreneurs. These are multimillionaires. These are people that are above my weight category. That was the most exciting thing and exciting time for me in my life. And I will say that when I would then wake up my little boys in the morning to go to school or to go to pre care, whatever, I was the world's most excited mom. And it kept me going. It energized me. Had I said, I want to sell this HR screening toolkit product. For 29. 99 and have a million people buy it, if that was my goal, I think I would have been toast. And so it's the opposite, but it's an insight that if you embody it, if you know emotionally what's going to pull you, and if you take it to, if you take it to the bank and you really execute on it, then it will absolutely keep you sane and happier than a boring run of the mill goal. And that's the reason why a lot of the things that would have taken me five years or forever Didn't take me five years or forever and they made me a happier person ultimately So yes, I got Gary v on my podcast. I got James alerted on my podcast It took about a hundred days 67 000 words. I did count  But damn, is it a story and it was in my book too, and I wrote it in my book Okay. So that's the first shift. Okay. If you don't get this right, you are not going to feel as energized. You will feel drained. It would have felt draining for me to say, let me sell this HR screening toolkit product to a million people. And I literally have the product in my store, but it's just not as exciting to me. Next one, imposter syndrome is an asset. You might think to yourself, how is this an asset? Well, you have to make a decision to use it as an asset. And if it's been your habit for decades to see it as a sign that you should like step back or warning that there's something that could happen to you, maybe you're acting beyond your years of experiencing, if that has been your habit. Then it is going to take work in order to flip it on its head. You're going to have to learn how to actually feel imposter syndrome in your body and take the opposite action. When I interviewed the CEO of giving Tuesday, Asha Quran, she herself said, whenever she felt like an imposter, she would then be Fierce, like totally fierce pursuing that particular task or situation. That is not the normal sort of approach, but we're not going for ordinary results. We're going for extraordinary results because as a mom. This operating in sprints is something that you have to embody. As an example, I had a holiday break. My children had holiday break and I couldn't work consistently, persistently towards one goal. I had to like pack it up in a particular timeframe and then basically just go at it in a sprint. Same thing here. So imposter syndrome can be used as an asset. It can be taught for you to use it as an asset, and if you don't use it as an asset. What's going to happen is you're going to feel really insecure, not just about approaching someone that is famous or asking someone for a big sale, but you're going to feel insecure about your story. You're going to feel insecure about the good, the bad, the ugly about your narrative as a business owner. And chances are that narrative. Has your secret sauce that where I came from, what I've done to get here that has your secret sauce. And if you don't feel that you can share this sometimes vulnerable message with other people, no one's going to know anything about it. And you're going to sound just like every other person out there who has this amazing way of adding value to someone else's life and just using the same language at that. So turning. Imposter syndrome into an asset is essential and it has to be practiced. And if it's a habit that you've had using it as a stop sign, it needs a lot of practice and guidance too. Cause we could pretend that we're using it as an asset, but if we're not taking demonstrable action, you're not going to get the numbers you need at the end of 2024.  Third one. Okay. Network and share half baked ideas. This one is intimidating. Let me explain why. So let's imagine that you're networking with someone and you're in the beginning of a business idea. Some thoughts might pop up in your head. They're going to steal my idea or they're going to think I'm silly or I'm sharing something and really I should wait until I have it complete. Well, here's the thing. And this is going back to what I mentioned earlier, angels. This is so weird, but I'm going to share this first time in the history of share this. I believe, I believe that there are angels out there that have accomplished what you want to accomplish. And in 2024, it is your business to find those people network with these people and tell as many of many people. You're half baked ideas so that this way, a, you're not as fully invested in the wrong idea. And then B you get people who want to join you on your journey and help you. For me, how did I become a bestseller in terms of fertile imagination? Well, here's the thing. I decided to attend a podcast conference last year in Colorado, and I decided to make it my business to talk to as many people as humanly possible. And this was during a casual interaction that I approached this lady, chewing on a big conference, yummy sandwich, aka those sandwiches are not very yummy. And I remember telling her, I've got a book, I'm writing it, and I don't know what the heck to do.  And I was really, really forthcoming. She happens to be the president of the Chicago Marketing Association. And she has her own podcast and all of that more than that. She took a liking to me and she shared with me, gave me on a silver platter, a plan. This is how you become a bestseller. That plan was meant for 25 people to execute. I am one human being and I have a virtual assistant, but she took a liking to me and she helped me become a bestseller. What does that mean? I promise you that there are rules to the game that you're playing in your vertical. I promise you that someone else has figured out what to do. And, and sequentially  at that, this person gave me the plan in a way that if I, if I organized it in another way, I would have been ineffective and unable because it was meant for 25 people  network and share half baked ideas. Yes. You will be vulnerable. Yes. You will be looking less. I don't even know prepared, then you want to feel, but honestly, it's better to be less prepared and have someone give you feedback early on an ideas journey. Then later on when you're totally invested and it happens to be the wrong idea. So this is about seeking angels and I'm calling it that because this has been a consistent pattern in my life. And it's something that I believe in with all my heart and all my soul. And I will tell my children to do as well. So that's the third point out of five. And if you don't do this in a way that's strategic in a way that is consistent and in a way that unpacks value, when you network with individuals in a generous and authentic and bilateral way, then you're going to miss the whole point. Because that person that helped me, I helped her to that person who helped me. I know her son wants to work with the Green Bay Packers. I'm not a football person, but that's in my head. And if I find someone that's in that organization, you sure bet that I'm going to mention her son. So it's not about using people or just transactions. It's about having people in your heart and in your mind for the rest of your life, and they will do the same for you. And that's how you can speed up the process. And if you have a meaningful business goal on your heart, that matters. Third point, fourth one. Playing is profitable. So oftentimes as moms, we think about playing as a to do that happens after you do all your to do's. And while I appreciate the sentiment because I was there, what I will say is that your results will look very different if you played before versus if you held your breath until you had the time to play. And oftentimes you don't play, right? It's almost like, let my partner play with the kids. Let someone else play with the kids. Mommy's got to get this or that done. Right? And if you are unaware, playing can be so profitable. And this comes from a podcast guest, Beth Comstock, who was the CMO of GE, GE, one of the most serious businesses you could possibly think about, right? Jet turbines and stuff. So at the end of the day, she challenged herself and her executive team to go where the trends are. She challenged herself to go, for example, a K pop concert in South Korea, and that is where she garnered some insights that changed the course of the way that GE approaches. Storytelling, loyalty, building, et cetera, et cetera. What does that mean for you? Well, if you're a solopreneur in a market that is competitive, how do you intend to distinguish yourself? You need to be ahead of the trends. Playing is profitable. On top of that, when we think about overwhelm, overwhelm, rather than be bamboozled by overwhelm, rather than not have a plan for overwhelm, which if you look at your 2024 goals right now, are you setting yourself up for overwhelm? Rather than that. Why not think about playing in terms of a way to nip overwhelming the bud. I'll give you an example. Maybe I'm an alien, but maybe this is you for me in the past, before this insight, I would, for example, work really, really, really hard and then earn a bubble bath, what I'm suggesting is. Take the bubble baths first, and then maybe you won't have to work as hard. It really changes the tone of your effort, and you'll be a happier mom. Period. Oh, and guess what? You know what your kids want? They want to play with you more. So that's another opportunity right there to reduce the mom guilt. All right. Fifth one. Overwhelm has to be addressed at its roots. So, overwhelm. Sometimes I've noticed when I've coached working moms, some of the most bad ass working moms in the universe, we're talking about, for example, a CFO of American express in Canada, bad ass mom. She became a mom. All of a sudden, insecurities pop up. Am I really good? Do I deserve the CFO spot? What if the person that's taking my position during maternity leave takes the actual job? All of these insecurities really pop up because our emotions are so raw, especially early on. And depending on the stage that you are in as a mom, what happens is That you then just start second guessing yourself and other categories of your life. And then you  overcompensate because you really don't want to get it wrong. And that's at the root of overwhelm more than that. It's also figuring out as a mom in that role and figuring out as a business owner in that role, what a success look like for you. Or have you been playing the rules that someone else wrote, maybe your mom, maybe an entrepreneur you see on Instagram, might their rules just send you off a cliff. Like if you don't get this right, you could pretend to be like chilling out at the end of every day and catching up on Z's. But if in your mind, you feel like you're doing less than you should, or you're not enough, that's going to keep nagging at you. And it will slow down your progress as a business owner. And it'll make you less happy as a mom. So this is something that has to be addressed at its root. And it's really hard to see. It's kind of like a jar with a label on the outside. If you're inside the jar, you cannot read the label. If you have someone outside that understands that there's symptoms here and can help you work through them, then you'll be way better off to actually avoid a train wreck. So I, I think this one is just. Pretty urgent. Okay, so here's what you need in order to achieve a five year goal in one year. So five things all together, these have to be practiced and embodied and done swiftly to knock out big goals. Why is that? So at the end of the day, you're not going to be faced with challenge only one time. It's like, Oh, it's 2024 and it's January. And here's that one challenge that I can't convert a particular sales lead or something like that. No, you're going to get that over and over and over in different sort of flavors. And so it has to be something that when you get knocked out the first time. Maybe it takes you and these numbers are totally not based on reality, but maybe it takes you like three days to get back up. And then the next time it takes you, ideally, if you've practiced these five, two days to get back up. And then the next day, 20 minutes. And then the next day, it's a two minute rage session or something. That's what we're going for. And that's why these five things are not just. Intellectual conversations that can be had. There has to be an actual immersion in this entire process. There has to be a guide who can tell you just like the jar metaphor when something is not going well as a business owner, so you could then make some change. So now you have a choice.  Now you have a choice. I just shared with you five insights, some of which might sound woo woo because of the angel thing, some of which might sound like they would be impossible for you to do by yourself. And I've attended webinars just like this. When I have said to myself, first of all, maybe I was double dutying, maybe it was multitasking, right? I was looking at my email. I was looking at another sort of conversation, but these, these conversations and these insights, they're proven. And they're not just proven for a Beth Comstock or Susy Batiz or an Asha Curran. They're proven for someone like, like you, like me, like someone who constantly has to, in their mind, toggle between, okay, this is what needs to happen at home. Okay, this is what needs to happen in my business. Okay. What about me? Am I even on my list? Like they're proven for individuals who have a meaningful business goal on their heart. And they're also proven for individuals who have a meaningful and want to continue a meaningful relationship with their kids. And I know that to you, I just know it. I know it. Why else would you be here? Why else do you want to be successful in both realms of this, of this life? Right? So what does this mean? This means that I can help you. And I can help you in the next 72 hours. So this is what I've done because I anticipated that this webinar might bring up ideas that you've haven't heard before, that you might want to learn a little bit more about. So the next 72 hours, I will put up a link very shortly and you can actually schedule time with me for free 30 minute breakthrough session, and you can share with me your 2024 business goals. What I would love the honor of doing is helping you filter through these goals based on these insights that I shared with you so that this way any blind spots are addressed up front before you run in the wrong direction of your dreams, right? So what I've done is this 30 minute private call. It's totally free. And you could just go ahead and sign up right here, but I will also email you a link so that this way you have a time, some time to breathe. I want to be sure that we both have an opportunity to just have some time to breathe, but I want to just have this here for you so that this way. These insights are not just in the air, but they're really tangible and they mean something to how you intend to approach the rest of 2024 so that this way, whatever happened in 2023 that didn't feel was your best or didn't feel when as, as well as it should have doesn't happen again. Like you want to take different steps for different results. And so that's why I wanted to do this for you. And that's why I honor you. And that's why I'm a hundred percent going to be taking your questions. If you have any, I'll just save a little bit of time, but then we'll absolutely do. The drawing right after, thank you for listening to the webinar. Here is that link. So you can schedule your breakthrough session in the next 72 hours, or whenever you actually catch this episode, it's www.MelissaLlarena.com/sessions. Those are free 30 minute sessions for mom entrepreneurs who are committed to navigating imposter syndrome for mom entrepreneurs who are committed to finding what is going to help them nip overwhelm in the bud and mom entrepreneurs who are 100 percent open to a fully immersive experience where they will learn how to network effectively, productively. Elegantly and authentically so that this way, if you have a five year plan, you can knock it out in 2024. I want to be of service to you. Go ahead and sign up for the breakthrough call. No commitment. Just be sure to show up. Be sure to honor that meaningful business goal that you have on your heart by showing up. And bringing you to the table. I'm so excited and thrilled. Again, breakthrough sessions are free 30 minutes and for mom entrepreneurs.   ​   

Welcome to Episode  211. It's 2024. So now you've got to hit the ground running. You've got to go towards your ambitions and everything seems to be in sync. And I want you to feel energized. We all do. I am so on your side and I'm thrilled that you're here to celebrate 2024. So this conversation is with Meryl Cook and she is a creative person whom I admire. She's a writer, an author herself, and she does something called hooking. Now get your mind out of the gutter. It has to do with yarn and creating beautiful designs. What a wonderful woman and conversation that might be best enjoyed with a mom friend. That was a hint because we'll get into some thoughts on making more mom friends and what to look for in them too. Ultimately, think about this episode as a helpful reminder for 2024. What if you had mom friends that were ahead of you? And what if you had a handful that also reminded you that you get to play too? That is what Meryl and I talked about in this conversation. This is the last chat in my series that involved my book launch of Fertile Imagination. It was maybe like one of my first IGTV lives with a mom who was ahead of me. Also an empty nester. And what I love about the conversation is that 2024, you may have not considered it, but what if it's the year that you make friends? If you love parties then please do say hi on Instagram which was where this party took place: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ Shop/gift/review - Fertile Imagination: https://amzn.to/3F6AgMu TRANSCRIPT What if it's the year that you find a group of women who emboldened you and inspire you and give you the inspiration that you need to actually go after what is on your heart? On that note, I wanted to share a review from an empty nester who is also ahead of me in her motherhood journey. So Meryl Cook, as I mentioned before, is ahead of me in her motherhood journey. All her quote-unquote kids are out of the house. And the same is true of this Amazon reviewer, Kathleen Ryan. So Kathleen Ryan is someone who worked at Ogilvy & Mather and has had an amazing career that I completely admire and Kathleen is a great-grandmother right now. This is what she says about fertile imagination, my debut book for moms who want to rediscover their imagination, especially this year in 2024. This is your year, like legitimately if you choose it to be, she says, fertile imagination is a virtual powerhouse of real-life scenarios that will help any woman. Moms, especially navigate today's workplace. I wish I had been gifted this kind of access to smart women back in the seventies when I was raising my boys as a single mom. I wanted to point that out because Kathy Ryan also shared with me the idea that now that we have access to technology, we can be always on 24/7. It's like an extra hurdle that working moms have to really overcome. How can you take back your time? How can you hold sacred time? And it's something that I hadn't thought about until Kathy Ryan actually told me over text. And that's the value of having moms who are ahead of you. They have a really good appreciation for what they were able to accomplish, but they wish they had greater support. And I think it helps us in the modern time right now within any season of motherhood that you're in, to reconsider what's necessary and what's superfluous. So I hope you enjoy the conversation with Meryl Cook. It had to do with the book launch for imagination and it's about celebrating, right? So January 2, if you got through the holidays unscathed, if you got through. Everything that needed to happen, like, why don't you celebrate? Why don't you do a spa day? Why don't you throw yourself a dance party? Right. And that's what Meryl Cook and I talk about this idea that oftentimes as moms, we don't celebrate. So again, there are benefits to having moms that are ahead of you in your season of motherhood and 2024 might be the year of friends. It might be the year of friends. It might be the year of Mom friends who are ahead of you. So I appreciate you both Kathleen Ryan for leaving your Amazon review and also Meryl Cook for reminding me that it is important to celebrate. And I suggest that you do the same too. Okay. Enjoy the conversation. Thank you. So how's your day been going?  Ah, it's been going. I feel like I have, it's overwhelming with the support that I've gotten from people. And it's interesting because maybe for other people also like taking compliments feels weird and different. So when people tell me that they're proud of me for having this book out in the world, I feel so, it's like unusual. You know, yes. Good for you. I really think it's just soak it up and enjoy it. It's, it's a fabulous way that you've launched and I'm so pleased that, that you called on so many different people to help you. And, and I mean, that's what being a mom is about, right? Is, it calling on your tribe and saying, can you help me? I need to do this. Yeah. Yeah, it's wonderful, wonderful. And so one of the questions I wanted to ask you, Melissa, because I've just started my new podcast called Renegade Conversations, and I started out with a really great cast of people, but now I'm searching around for other people, and I wonder,  how did you get so many really really top-notch people on your podcast. What, what was your, what was your magic that you did? Do you know what my magic is? It's it's being very authentic and sincere. You can actually, you will be surprised. Like for example, now, as you go on your own sort of audio journey or visual journey, cause I've seen some Instagram too, you will be surprised that. Individuals whom you might feel are hard to reach are not as difficult to reach if you approach them from a place of sincerity. So if you want to have a deep conversation on your channel and you want to talk about something that is truthfully, On your heart, like it really matters to you. Then someone like Suzy Batiz, who was a founder of Poo~pourri, or David Meltzer an entrepreneur, and philanthropist. Like they're willing to have a conversation with you. And I think it's for a couple of reasons. Like, I honestly think, first of all, they must think to themselves, well, if this person has the guts to ask, there's gotta be something about her, that's a little different. And then the second side of it is. These individuals are approached so often with people who have agendas. So you are refreshing if you truthfully want to have a deep conversation, but you're very refreshing. When I interviewed Susie Batiste, for example, Who's in my book, fertile imagination. I approached her from the position where I knew her background. Like I knew that she had family members who had mental illnesses. And then my mom has a mental illness. And I also saw that she really cared about spirituality and the universe and all of that. And for me, it wasn't a leap really to approach her and say, Hey, I've been looking at you on this channel and that channel. And I feel like we're vibing similarly. May I approach you? Yeah. No. So. That's the key. Sincerity. Cool. I've been doing that and that's been working for me so far. A few people are a bit hard to reach and hard to get past, their managers, for example, or, their media people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the funny thing. That's the funny thing, Meryl. I actually don't ever approach, the managers or PR people. Like, that's a nice, that's a nice consideration and I'll respect it if it's a requirement, but I talk to them actually like individually.  And so I think that makes the difference because when I was putting together the book, there were so many approvals that I had to get. And ultimately, some of the individuals that are in the book, you can literally reach out to them one on one and they'll get your approval or whatever. But for other individuals, you have to be more strategic. It's like who was the audio guy behind this person who I physically saw at the comedy club? Like that's how I got James Altucher's approval. Like I had to really be like sleuth work, you know? And so you got somebody to give you an introduction then basically is how you did that.  No, I showed up to his comedy club is how I did that. Awesome. Good.  I've been doing some similar things. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a lot of fun. Actually, I really enjoy it. So I was so excited to see you putting your opening your book video and all those kinds of things because I think that's I think that As women, as mothers, especially, we need to celebrate these, these milestones, right? We need to because they are a big deal. And, I think often, what we do is rush from one hurdle to the next hurdle to the next hurdle. So we accomplish something and we don't take time to really have fun. And so today you're, you're doing your big launch and I hope tomorrow you're just going to celebrate and say, hey, what did I do? And really, really take time to acknowledge the hard work that's gone into this launch. I mean, you've, you've been on this for months now, right? Even before, as the book was going to the printer, you were already planning your launch. So that, that's really. Really impressive. Thank you. I, it's funny because I, I was thinking about how a lot of typical book launches, like you go to a bookshop and you're signing stuff, selling the books. And I thought to myself, I was like, honestly, for me as a mom, a slumber party where no one's invited, would be the best book launch party for me. It's like, can I just like sleep? Like, is that like on the table? And, and it's like, like, I get it. Like I get wanting to like to spend time with other people and make it a big party and celebration. But I also get to be able to use my fertile imagination and think about how I want to truly celebrate. Like I want to celebrate online with women from around the world who have different viewpoints and I want to do it and I want to be home to then take my three little boys trick or treating. Wondering about that because yes, you do have to go trick or treating tonight, and uh, but you're on the West Coast, right? So you have a bit of time Austin, okay the middle of the U.S. Yeah. Okay. Wonderful. That's great. And so what's been your biggest surprise about today?  well  For me, I guess it's like, I thought, I thought that things would be a little bit more like real-time from a technology perspective, but apparently they're not, there's like a lot of lag in terms of the world of Amazon. So that's more like, but it's, what do you call it? a rookie kind of thing. Right. I just bought one thing and I got another in terms. You know what it is too, in terms of seeing people reshare the stories that I put out there and like share with their community about me and the book, and then also like the reviews. So honestly, for me, it's like the reaction of everybody. And, and I see it so visually, visually for me, it feels like people are like, like hugging me like, like virtually we are. That's so cool. Wonderful. Oh, wonderful. Do you have any new, stats yet? Or is Amazon still calculating everything that's where we get tricky. That's right. Could you believe it? Like static, static. So how it's like as someone, like when you're in the thick of it and you're like in a launch or whatever, you always have obviously like two paths, either be like what deflated or forget it, but, but, but, and for me, I'm just like, I don't know what's happening on the logistics end and all of that, but I'm going to keep going. When I was giving birth and I gave birth to the identical twins, like there was all this, like a SWAT team in the room looking at me, right? Like a miracle or something. And, and I'm giving birth and I'm like, ultimately everybody was telling me, Oh, push all this or that. And like, who was in charge? Me, it was just me. And so it's like, okay, the same thing with a book. It's like, I have to keep up my energy. I have to keep up the faith. I have to keep this up because ultimately here's what I know for sure. Like you, you have a book, you have books, plural, like. You had them inside of you. You had books inside of you. And do you know how many people say that and don't do it? So for me, like that in and of itself, it's an accomplishment. It's a huge accomplishment. It's really huge. And what will be really nice is five years from now when you find your book is still selling. People are still benefiting from it. That's a really big deal. And your book is the type of book that will be evergreen. It's not something that's going to go out of style. It's the kind of advice that all mums need. Yeah, I think, I think you're going to be five years from now, we're going to be having this conversation saying,  Oh, I'm still selling on Amazon. And here's where I sell most of my books and it'll be awesome. So my son was just on Keegan is one of my boys. He said, Hi Mom. I'm just about to leave for work.  How cute. He lives in Vancouver. He's a tattoo artist. So.  How cool is that?  That's what I love, Meryl. I love, I love being around moms who are at different stages of motherhood. I think it's so important. Yeah. It's important to have intergenerational friends, especially among mothers. When I first moved to the Northwest Territories, my son was just on Keegan was three weeks old and the nurse at the nursing station said, the best thing you can do is to make fun. Make friends with a woman who has kids in school who has sort of been through the early kids stage and has some advice to give you and it was really good advice. Yeah, I think it's important for sure, for sure. Yeah, nice, nice. So, is there anything else you'd like me to ask you? Is there anything else? I don't know how our times are, we have about four minutes left. No, I think right now, It's funny because you and I were talking about the title of the book. Yeah. I think you did a great job. Thank you. I remember. So that's something that's kind of like the backstory, right? The amount of pressure that I felt to come up with like the world's best title was something that I couldn't even like. Put my finger on it like it's that it's like that last thing that matters the most and it's like, oh great but yeah, I remember when you and I were brainstorming and you were sharing your opinion and you like the fact that it had something about playful and it was like play playback no playbook and playful Yeah, right Yes. Do you think that more than one meaning to and yeah, and that it's um,  yeah. And so that idea of playfulness, I'm just curious about your stage of motherhood. However, you define that for yourself. How have you remained?  I think I have not only remained playful, I've become more playful. My kids are all launched. The youngest is 30 now and mostly doesn't live in our house. The occasional weekend he lives with us still. I would say that I take more time to be playful and to make sure, for example, that I work on my art every day, no matter what else I'm doing, I'm crazy, crazy busy. If I don't take time for my art or I don't take time to play. I noticed that I started to make mistakes. I start to kind of fall apart. And when I make time for play, it regenerates me and gives me the enthusiasm and the energy to keep going forward. So. Yeah, so I'm more playful,  see, and that's something that I think as, as a mom who has three little boys who are nine, nine, and 12, it's like, I see them play and in the book, I even talk about how, like, my husband is like, he'll go straight for like the chess set. Meanwhile, for me, if I see the chess set, I will pick up everything from the floor on the way to the chess set, and then I'll forget that I intended to play. It's like adding a to-do, right, in your list? I was actually writing about that this morning. I just published a blog on creativity and midlife and beyond and, and, and I was exactly like that. I would, I would always do all my chores before I would do my creative process. What I discovered is, is that The chores are never done,  and they're never all done, so it was more important to really take the time to play and to do the creative process, and that would help me to get more done in the end, but I think as women, we're so conditioned to taking care of everything else and everyone else, and we think of our creative process as frivolous, or as something that's kind of stuff for the day. A nice thing, but, but maybe we won't get to it. And, I think that for me, having had breast cancer, I realized that I really need to focus on myself. And, I think that young moms also need that, I wish that I hadn't waited until I had a big health scare to focus on myself and to make time to play because I think in general, I mean, my husband is, is a very. He's a good father, he does a lot around the house, but he's, he doesn't, he doesn't think twice about lying back on the couch if he's tired. He'll get things done, but whereas I'm like 30 at night, then I'll sit down. And so I'm, I've really worked on that in the last eight years to, uh, to work on, okay, now's the time to do work, and now's the time to just let the dishes sit there or let, let something else sit there because it never will be done and, uh, yeah, we need to play as mothers. Yeah.  No, I think so as well. And I think you reminded me. So one chapter in the book is exactly what you're saying. And it's basically this DJ  who is in her fifties DJ yo Mama Esther. And she had also felt like. She was focused on helping everyone be happy and she was losing sight of her own happiness. And so she had her health scare and her daughter also had a health scare when she was a little girl, but ultimately like the message in the book, I have a chapter. Dedicated to this is that it's like your body doesn't know why you're neglecting it. Like neglect is neglect. And you've got to be really mindful as moms. And I would say if there were a way to help us prioritize ourselves, I think, I think the art of playing might be the answer. Like our kids want to, they want to, I  mean, maybe not your son since they're adults, but Oh, I don't know. I think they still play. They have their hobbies, they have the things that they love to do and they prioritize them. Some, someone is saying, uh, make time for what matters most. Your relationships, your tribe of people, that's the prize of life. Yeah. I think that that's true, but you have to include yourself in that tribe. So make time for what matters most, including me. Right? Mm-Hmm. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Cool. Thank you so much. I wanted to tell people that the book is available today. The link in my bio, and I would be honored if anyone in your community, Meryl actually got the book and got enjoyment out of it and felt that sense of play. Excellent. Well, I'm, I'm sure that people will take a good look at it and I would highly recommend it. So. Thank you so much. Have an awesome one. I appreciate you. Let us know, let us know how the stats go when they finally tell you what they are.  Thank you. Thank you again. Thank you, Melissa. Bye. Merrill is so amazing and a big shout out to my Canadians, honestly. The book is available to you as well. You could absolutely get it in Kindle format and you could go on Amazon. And purchase the book as well. If you have already purchased Fertile Imagination, I would invite you to write a two to three-sentence Amazon review today. Here's why there are about 3 million moms who are logging into Amazon every single day around the world. I surmise, that they are shopping. And right now they're getting recommendations in their shopping cart. That could be things like lipsticks, or it could be things like sneakers, or it could be things like. Tie detergent. What if instead, Amazon noticed that Fertile Imagination was getting all these reviews and put it as a recommended product for them to imagine being recommended, being recommended that you go after your dreams? Imagine if someone told you, you know what, there's this book out there for imagination that I think you will like to, that can actually take what's in your heart and bring it out live. To whatever market you so desire. That's what we want more of. Like, I would love to see shopping carts filled with a fertile imagination and then filled with whatever tools are necessary to execute whatever dream you have in your heart. That's what I want to see more of in 2024. And I need your help in order to do that. The more reviews we get on Amazon.com, the more likely 3 million moms every single day will see Fertile Imagination, my debut book. Online is available to them and for them and that is so important every single day. That's 3 million missed opportunities. It is not yet really buzzing with Amazon reviews. Thank you so much for choosing unimaginable wellness, and this is going to be the year of friends, the year of seeking friends who support you so that you don't feel lonely so that you don't feel overwhelmed and unable to ask for help. I want all of that for you for 2024. Happy New Year. Thank you so much again for all of your support for shopping, and fertile imagination for activating the ideas for making sure that you're reawakening. Reawakening, playing with, and stretching your imagination for maximum impact. Thank you so much.  ​ 

Welcome to Episode 210. We're going to talk with Margot Bisnow, who wrote the book, Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams - 99 Stories from Families Who Did. What I love about this conversation is that there are so many moms behind us, and there are also moms ahead of us. This includes moms who have authored books too! Moms to young men as well. The available mom mentors are truly plenty and for that I'm grateful to have had so many book launch conversations like today's. In this one, Margot Bisnow asked me what I personally learned about myself, about my family, and about writing. If you think you have a book in you and you really mean it then tune into our conversation as it will astound you in terms of what I learned and you could too in 2024! If you love parties then please do say hi on Instagram which was where this party took place: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ Shop/gift/review - Fertile Imagination: https://amzn.to/3F6AgMu TRANSCRIPT When I wrote Fertile Imagination. So this is a snippet from the conversation on book launch day for Fertile Imagination. And I'm so appreciative of Margot Bisnow. I wanted to share an Amazon review that really hit close to home because I'm a mom of multiple. This was for the book Fertile Imagination, which you can purchase on Amazon.com. Rose Elizabeth says this, as a mom of triplets, I know firsthand how easy it can be to lose yourself in motherhood. This book Fertile Imagination helped me reawaken my imagination and start to create the powerful impact I want to have on the world. It's a must-read for moms who need inspiration to live their lives for themselves, not just for their kids. What I love about this review is that Rose Elizabeth, a mom of triplets, who also might have her own business, if I think this is the Rose that I know, took the time to go on Amazon.com and share two to three sentences on how the book really resonated in her own life. Amazon reviews are so important. If you have ever, ever written a book, ever uploaded your files on Amazon and hit the publish button, then you know, but most of you don't. You might have never, ever understood the logistics behind what it takes to Have a book become number one in the motherhood category and number one in the women in business category on Amazon.com, both of which Fertile Imagination was able to do on book launch day. So I wanted to share that. I'm so grateful and enthusiastic. So if you have already purchased the book Fertile Imagination, I invite you today to go ahead on Amazon.com and write your two to three sentences. If Amazon sees that this book keeps getting written reviews and notices that there's activity on this particular book, it will show it as a recommended product to moms. And there are about 3 million moms. I would argue even more in December, especially today, December 26. They are shopping on Amazon, so could you imagine if a mom is going in there and is looking to purchase something like paper plates or something like, you know, I don't even know, a new battery for her cell phone, I'm making that up. Imagine if, in her recommended product area, she sees fertile imagination. What if she decides that day to invest in herself? Buy a book that can help her figure out what she wants to do in the next chapter of her life, figure out how she can actually live out her dreams in a very practical step-by-step manner, whereby she gets to actually take back control of her dreams. That is what I'm asking of you. I'm asking you to potentially do something that is way out of your comfort zone, which is to shop the book on Amazon today. If you have not yet purchased Fertile Imagination, gift it to someone in terms of an option to them so that they can get ready for the new year. And write a review. If you've already shopped it, you can absolutely just go ahead on Amazon.com, write a review, and I will leave the actual link in the show notes so that this is super easy peasy for you. Look, this is the last episode before 2024. 2024 is coming rapidly and quickly. And all of those words. And I want to just say this, whatever happened this year, really learn from it. Whatever happened this year, be sure that it is helping you build the life that you need and what you want to see in 2024. Nothing magic happens on January 1st, but what does happen is that you have the benefit of seeing other people. Yeah. Make some new decisions, decisions, and choices in their lives. So why not use their inspiration to inspire yourself? So I hope you have the best New Year and I really hope that whatever it is that's on your mind or in your heart becomes reality. And it's going to take work. I'm not going to lie. So I'm here to support you. But what I would love again is to write a review. That is the way that we can support more people as they enter into 2024. Wow. I cannot believe we're here. Thank you again for all of your support in 2023. Thank you again if you were one of these women who interviewed me and thank you again for just being gracious and generous with your time. I appreciate you and I hope that you feel appreciated. I hope you feel really, really appreciated. Hello, Margot Bisnow. How are you? Am I in? Yes, you are in. You are in. Two months going wild. Yay. Well, congratulations on launch day. I'm so happy for you. I'm so proud of you. I know you worked so hard and you deserve all the wonderful things that come. Thank you so much. Margot. I'm like, wow, this is so much work. But it's so worthwhile. It's so funny. Like my little boys are looking through the glass pane of the entrance way store. They're like, can we come in that from years behind, right? I know, but I can't believe you're doing this on Halloween. There's so much other stuff on Halloween with costumes and candy and treats and decorations. See, I got me, pulled my pumpkin. Yes, they do. Very nice. Well, Halloween is the day of imagination. Today, people are pretending to be whatever it is they wish to be. Ghosts and goblins and all that good stuff. So why not Halloween? It's like, let's all be playful, you know? Absolutely. Or even let's be a famous author. Yeah, that's, that's the costume today. It's a famous author right now. The famous author costume. very, very much. Oh, this is so cool. Where are you? You feel, I feel like you are always traveling with the band. I am always traveling. And, uh, today I'm in Washington, D. C. and I'm excited to be here and life is good. That's good to hear. That's really good to hear. I think it's been like writing a book for me as a mom in the middle of My motherhood season of life has been quite the adventure, quite the adventure and being surrounded by moms who are ahead of me in terms of seasons of motherhood is a source of inspiration for me. It's like, you know what? That's really cool. Like you going. to concerts with your son on stage. It's like really, really cool stuff. So you give us a lot to look forward to, but don't you feel that you learned a lot writing your book? Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's funny cause I was thinking to myself, I didn't intend to get a PhD. But apparently, I got a PhD and I didn't even know it. There was so much research that went into it. I had to research, of course, some of the things that are just like basic, right? It's like getting legal approvals from everybody that's influential that's in the book or figuring out what plus content is on Amazon.com. I have to share this because it's like the biggest misstep. So I thought. Because I'm a nerd, right? Like you get your MBA as you got an MBA, right? From a top-flight school. And you're like, I thought a plus content was actually like the quiz that I did for my website for people to come and take, or like the opt-ins that I did for my website for people to come and take. And in the publishing world, it's not any of those things. It's like creative stuff to put on your Amazon profile page. I was like, wow, what a, what, I'm like overthinking this. But don't you think you also learned a lot from the other moms that you talked to? Well, yeah, I think when I interviewed different moms in the book, so like Susie Batiste, for example, like she's a grandmother now, right? And she had invented her poo~pourri. I don't know how old her kids were, but what I do know is that I still see her on social and everything, like having a good relationship with her kids. And that was a question I got from the early readers of my book, fertile imagination. It's like, well, how can a mom go after her dreams and not feel guilty about it? How can a mom go after her dreams and still have a positive and good relationship with her children? Like when they become adult, right? And so for me, when I was talking to moms for the book, that became a question too. It was like, okay, so if our priorities are to be like the best mom or to be like a present mom, it's like, how can you be present and also pursue your dreams? That was a big question. Yeah. So that was so interesting to me when I was doing my book, as since you helped me. I interviewed 70 entrepreneurs and their moms about how they were raised. One of the things that surprised me was there was absolutely no correlation between how much time the mom spent at home and how good a relationship they had with their kids. And some of the moms were full-time moms, some of the moms worked outside the home, and some of the moms really worked outside the home, and it didn't matter because when they were home, they were present. They gave their kids their, all of their love and support. When they were with them, the kids knew that the moms were following their dreams and the kids respected that. I personally worked all the time. My kids were growing up and I'm so glad I did. I also think in a way it's almost. I mean, for some, you know what, there's not a right answer. It's whatever works for that mom and that family, but I would not have been happy being home all day. And kids want a happy parent who, it doesn't matter if you're there all the time or not. What matters is that when you're with them, you're with them. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what our kids, they feel the mood, right? So we're like the barometer in our home. It's like, we don't even need to say it. Like if we're, if we're happy, our kids actually like. And so even if you're masking a brave and happy face and you're doing things that you don't enjoy our kids know that they notice that too. So being present, I have found is not just like literally staring into their eyeballs, although I've done that for fun, like playing the staring game, but it's also, it's also. Just like having them involved in what you've got going on. I literally had my three little boys pick out the final design of my book cover three little boys who do not agree on things, except this is my video game. Stop touching it. I asked the three of them. I said, Hey, what do you guys think about fertile imagination? Do you like this option or this option? When the three of them agreed on a cover. I took all of my aesthetic sensibilities and I said, it doesn't matter. They agree. I'm going with that. And so that's the other side of it. Like, let's say you want to go after your dreams and you want to be present. It doesn't just have to be being present, and doing things that they want to do. They can enjoy and join you in the things that you are doing. And that counts too, as being present. Yeah. So I've never. I've never done one of these before, but I'm just so excited that someone I love just joined us. Hi, Alex! This is so fun! Hello, Alex! I'm so curious about where Alex is located. She's located in New York, but she grew up across the street from me. And I'm going to go to her mom's house tonight. And it's just fun to see her there. She's now, I've known her since she was born, and now she's a wonderful mom of two gorgeous little kids. Wow. Amazing. So she's in the thick of it. He is in the thick of it. And she's also someone who follows her dreams. She is a full-time doctor. Wow. That's outstanding. Yeah. Can you imagine during COVID? Oh, no, I can't. That's intense. That is very intense. I can't imagine either. Anyhow, she's wonderful. And it's, this is so fun. You've got to do these more often, Margot, I, I, I expose you to things you don't. Great. Great. Anyhow, no, this is super fun. I'm used to doing more just on TV and I just did another one like 15 minutes before you, but it's just, they're like more boring and they're not as, they're not, they're not more boring. I shouldn't say that. They're, they're more traditional and you don't get as much sort of back-and-forth interaction. That's true. That's also the difference between like a podcast and just a blurb. Like when you're on TV, I remember like super early on, I was on the Varney and Coach show on Fox News. This was 2013 or so. And I got maybe Five sentences in that's about it. But then long form IGTV, it's like, you can then really like express yourself, explain yourself, you see the person's reaction, adjust your message. So I think it's, it's. This is also the use of imagination in terms of a book tour, because traditionally book tours, right? Like you'll go to a bookstore and you'll sign copies and you'll do a little talk and all of that. But for me, I was like, as a mom, I needed to be virtual. Cause again, I got to go trick or treating. I have three little boys who are all about the candy tonight. So. This was another option for me, like just being sure that I can do what I want to do, but honor the fact that today is also a special day for my little boys. But even when I do book talks or, or any talk, I'm so much happier when it's a conversation rather than just a speech. I'm, I'm so much happier being, having a back and forth with someone on a stage and then even questions from the audience rather than just giving them some sort of rehearsed statement. So what do you think that you've learned from writing the book that's the most important thing in how you deal with your boys? That they, they have a lot that they can teach me. Like that's, that's the big thing. It's like, I don't think, I don't believe that our kids are, are random. I feel like we have them for quite a precise reason and it's not just unilateral. It's not just like the parent teaching the kid like the kid does a number on us. I think when it comes to teaching you or me how to be more patient or teaching me how to, Imagine bigger for myself be more playful, see things in a different way, or observe life with a more present sort of way of attention. That's the biggest thing. It's like, wait a minute. I'm literally with imagination experts in residence. Like they're in my house. They are so inventive and they see things that I could have never imagined. So it's like appreciating the fact that. They are like mini teachers for me, that was a big aha for me. Yeah, no, I've learned so much from my kids also. And I mean, one reason is that kids. Your kids aren't afraid to tell you, like, how you're screwing up. It's true. That is true. But, my kids give me a lot of, how shall I put this, positive feedback, about ways I should change, that most of my friends won't tell me, but for example, my younger son, and this is, I think important for every woman actually. Cause I think we're all, we hate to ask for stuff. And my younger son says you deserve to ask for what you want. And that's true. So like I'll be in a restaurant and they'll all have asked for something to be cooked kind of rare and they bring it well done. And I'm like, and he'll say, give it back. And I'll say, I don't want to bother them. He'll say, Mom, you deserve to ask for what you want. Like I do. Yeah. Yeah. My kids also made me for my New Year's resolution. They made me say that I'm going to try to stop saying that's so annoying. Yeah, I think, my children definitely have a bone to pick with me as it relates to like my food situation. And I told them, I said, look, you are more than welcome to cook these meals yourself. I'm not like this. Cook that you can then tell me all your preferences and I'll execute on them because it's three little humans. They all have their preferences, but at the same time, it's like, okay, yeah, maybe I should put in a little more effort. But with the writing of the book, with having a coaching practice, with having a podcast, like I am going to like for sure, oftentimes just be like lost in thought or like focus on work. And I burn so many. Pots of rice and beans. So that's like the one thing it's like, that's the one place where I've just been, like, I give up at least we're eating food and I'm sorry, this is part of your childhood memory experience. Yeah. You just do the best you can. That's I mean, I think that's the bottom line is you do the best you can and you don't get everything perfect. Nobody gets everything perfect, but as long as you do the best you can with people, people appreciate that. People respect that. I like to think so. I totally think so. And I think when I was putting the book together, I was like, okay, I have a couple of options. Either I could finish it to perfection and 10 more years, or I could get this out in the world now because there are a lot of moms who feel like this. They've lost a sense of themselves or they don't feel like they have the same enthusiasm in terms of what they want out of their life as they believe they should have. And so I was like, this is my best foot forward. It's like these conversations I had with the individuals in the book, they're very, very raw. They're very real. And they're also very relatable because I think. The more that I tried to hold on to this book idea and just guard it, the, less valuable the book could ultimately be. So like your point earlier, what did I learn about myself, let's say with writing the book, I had to get this book out to a lot of early readers. Very early, like I knew, I just knew it. I was like, there's just no way that I've got some sort of like a final answer on imagination for moms. I'm one mom with three children. My editor is a mom in Tasmania with two grown adult children, but I know that there are certain situations that I don't know about. So I asked people that have completely different motherhood experiences, like a single mom, or I asked a mom that she gave up her career, but she's still in a career. It's interesting, all the different variations of a working mom like that's something big. I didn't realize Margot, like for me, I always felt like kind of in the middle, like, I didn't feel like a working mom in the sense that I would go to a corporate office and leave my kids until 8 PM. Like, that's my imagination of a corporate mom and a corporate living in Connecticut with like a Metro-North commute. And I also didn't feel like a stay-at-home mom in terms of Purist, right? So like I'm home and I'm schlepping kids from point A to B and I'm part of the PTA or whatever it is that different people call it. I always felt like I was in the middle I was like, okay, I have an LLC, so I have a business, I have a practice, but at the same time, my income. Quite honestly, really does look a lot like the patterns of my energy, because if I have a lot of energy and I'm not in a season of nursing, my identical twins are nursing my firstborn or moving globally, relocating. That was when I was able to tend to my business. And so for me, I felt like when I was looking at business books in the past, I would always see the perspective of someone who didn't have those things going on. It was always someone who was oftentimes the breadwinner, who was a male who would write his perspective on how to like be successful in terms of entrepreneurship, for example. Right. But for me, I was like, well, Where, where does, where does the fact that I feel conflicted in my mind? Like, like, like, where does that come into play? Like, what if I want to be at home with the kids, but then I also want to be doing a head talk or something? Like, how do I make that real? Or how do I make real wanting to go and be an expat in Australia, but I have a podcast where most of my guests are in the United States, how do I make that time zone situation and family time sacred real, and so that was what. I thought was missing. That's why I wanted to write the book. Yeah, I always tell women that we're thinking about having kids and working and what should they do, I say, well, it's easy. Women have so many choices. You can have kids and not work and feel guilty. You can have kids and work full-time and feel guilty. And you can have kids and work part-time and feel guilty. So it's like whatever we do, we're going to feel in the middle like we're not doing it right. Like we're not giving our all here and we're not giving our all there. But All you can do is your best, and like when you decided to put your book out, the perfect is the enemy of the good, right? I mean, you, you, you just, you put it out, you do your best. You can redo it next year if you want if you've learned a bunch of stuff. I mean, it's a mistake to keep trying to get to perfect, because nothing will ever be perfect. And I think you did exactly the right thing to put your book out when you did. so much. And, I also think that in business, for example, you actually learn more from mistakes. Like it's like, you, you have to actually try something like someone who doesn't make a mistake is cause they never really tried. Anything is what I have realized like there's just no way around it. Right. And I think also that now that the book is out in the world, I also realize that now. The book is no longer like, just my viewpoint, people now interpret it in their own way. And I'm not going to be there right next to them saying, Oh, but what I really meant was, or what, you know what I mean? And, and that's something else that's like, it's a point of vulnerability, but it's also a point of freedom. Cause it's like, what? Make it your own, tailor it to your situation. I believe in moms so much. Because I know that if I tell him to go and like, I don't know, run a marathon. I believe that she can for herself decide whether she wants to, or she doesn't want to run the marathon. But at least, I want to encourage a mom to consider the idea that they could do something that's astounding and they could astound themselves. I think with the book, my ambition is to give people examples of people who are moms, but also people who are not moms who have thoroughly expressed themselves and use their imagination to the fullest. And from that collection, you decide what makes sense for your specific family and based on what you want out of life. Yeah, I think, you know, that the reason I ended up writing my book, Raising an Entrepreneur, is because I'd meet all these young entrepreneurs at my son's organization, his conferences, and I'd ask them, like, how did they turn out the way they did? And they all said the same thing to me. They all said I had a mom who believed in me. And so the important thing. Is that you do your best, you love your child, you believe in your child, you let your child know that they're going to be successful if they put their mind to it, you let your child know that failure is fine, as Billie Jean King says, failure is feedback, and you're there for them, and they're willing to take risks, and they love you, and they know you support them, and you know you're there for them, and they, It's a, it's a, it's a wonderful thing to be a mom and you, you, you, you give it what you can and you put in the, the time you can and, but as long as you do all these other things, as long as you're there for your kids and believe in your kids, it'll be fine. I thoroughly believe that I think being raised by a mom who has manic depression, the one thing she would say to me is, and, and I'm just going to say it as my mom would say it, she would literally tell me that I'm a genius, like, like that's a big and tall order. But let me tell you how that hit me. So like, for me, I would be like, I would question myself. I'd be like, wow, my mom thinks I'm a genius. Like, like, and then you, you hear it enough and you're like, well, maybe I ought to try being a genius, or maybe I ought to go for like that hard school, or maybe I should go for that full scholarship, or maybe I should go for some other crazy goal, all based on something that came out of my mom's mouth. Right. And for me, it's like, whether she was well or not, well, as she was saying, it was something that for me, didn't even matter because, for me, it was like, hope, hopeful. It was like, if I'm a genius, I could figure this out. If I'm a genius, I could really do something extraordinary with my life. If I'm a genius. And, it's funny how like little whispers that we tell our kids when they're sleeping or on at night, like for me. Tell my little boy secrets and I have it in the book. I have it in the acknowledgments. So I tell them secrets every night and they get three, one secret that's unique to them every single night. So I might tell like one son of mine, Noah, who's really good at asking questions. I might like it. Flip it a little, I might be like, you are an incredible athlete. As you did so well in Jiu Jitsu today, which is actually not what he would have imagined me saying, cause I might talk about his brainiac skills, but I like flipping it a bit or I'll tell Nicholas, I'll be like, you are an amazing question asker or I'll tell Gabriel, as you have, there's such a kind heart or whatever, even if he was bugging his brothers all day. And I feel. At night, if I'm telling them these positive secrets, I feel like I'm planting a seed, kind of like my mom planted a seed in me, right? Whether it's true, whether it's not, it's kind of like, I just want them to at least imagine something incredible about themselves and go to bed with that thought. And I think, I think for me, it's like, like it's, it's important. It's just important. And I think for moms. I think for moms, we need the same. I think we need encouragement. I think a lot of us ask for reassurance from other people, but I think a lot of us just don't give ourselves enough credit for the inner resilience, the inner resourcefulness, and the wisdom that we actually have. So my hope is that the book helps a mom find that out for herself again, and it's through the pathway of our imagination. Yeah, that's so sweet. And it's, it's lovely that that worked what your mom said to you. But I have to tell you these studies actually show that it's much better for kids to praise them for their work ethic, rather than for being smart. And to say, not to say you're, you're so brilliant, you'll do well on the test, but. I know you worked really hard and that's why you'll do well on the test. The effort. Yeah, I think, I think effort, you're, you're totally right. I think effort makes a difference. I think, but I, but here's the whole thing, Margot. I think that all depends on the mom having clarity of mind, right? So if a mom is not well, it's like, yeah, you've got to know what's going on there. But yeah, no, it's nice that you took that from her and that you came out so well. I'm sure she's so happy. Yeah, for sure. Thank you so much, Margot. This was so much fun. I so enjoyed talking to you and I'm so happy and proud of you for your book. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh, when is the next concert you're going to with one of your sons? I'm so excited for you. I don't know. Aren't you in Austin? Yeah, I'm in Austin. Oh, I should have told you they played at the F1. Oh, wow. Oh, that's incredible. Magic giant. Wow. Yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. There's so much energy that your son has on stage. My gosh. Was he energetic as a kid too? Yeah. He always liked to perform. That's so cool. That's so cool. Thank you, Margot. Good luck. Shop the book today. Just check out the link in my bio Amazon. Okay. Bye bye. I love how Margot Bisnow asked me to think about the book in terms of my own personal learned lessons because a lot of what gets lost during podcast interviews or IGTV fireside chats like this is the deeper meaning. Like, how did it feel to actually, like, have my stories out in the world? Or how did it feel to hear that a podcast guest was willing to have their episode featured in my book? How did it feel to choose to go to a cafe on a Saturday morning instead of hanging out with my kids so that I could finish up this book and get it out to the world? Those are the things that are not really discussed on podcasts. So I appreciate Margot's notice in really pulling out in me some of the lessons that I've learned. If you have a book in your heart, I really hope this gives you some courage and encouragement to actually start putting pens to paper. I promise you, no one even has to see your first draft. You didn't see mine. So be aware. Fertile imagination is try number three, and it took two years and a SWAT team of support. So please, if you enjoy this conversation, if you got some value, and if the review resonated with you, go ahead to Amazon.com and shop the book today. Fertile imagination, Melissa Llarena. This will be in the show notes. If you shop the book, I would be so smitten if you took an opportunity today to write two to three sentences about the book that makes a big difference. And every single day, there are 3 million moms that will shop on Amazon. This is back-of-the-envelope math. And I would love the opportunity for Amazon to help me, help me get the word out. And here's the reason why. The reason is this. I want more moms to understand that whatever they have in their hearts, it's there for a reason. It's because they have what it takes to actually execute this idea. And this is a global conversation. And so that's why the Kindle format is still available. And that's why this is available in a slew of stores. But Amazon is where the reviews are. And so that's why I would love for you to have an opportunity to visit online, share your thoughts, share the book, and let me know. Let me know if you go ahead and write a review based on this conversation. I would love to know that this is helping you. This is encouraging you to step outside of your comfort zone and leave a review. Thank you again. And Oh my God, until January 2, 2024, may you have the best New Year's. May you be safe. May you and your family be safe. I'm gonna tell you what I tell my little boys when I drop them off from school. I love you. Be safe. Please do. Be safe. Thank you.

Welcome to Episode 209. In today's episode, you are going to hear how I landed some big-name podcast guests on this podcast Unimaginable Wellness. You'll hear from Beth Nydick, the creator of the F.A.M.E Formula. This conversation happened on my book launch day for Fertile Imagination. Beth Nydick is a PR expert. Definitely check her out. She is the type of mom who, like me, loves a good dare. As it relates to my book launch in October, a dare might be the key to your success. I want to invite you to consider that as the holiday season continues. You might need the jolt of energy that a good dare provides. What if you do show up to a holiday party with PR movers and shakers? Can that distinguish you? You'll want to listen to this chat and take notes! The art of daring yourself to do things has worked for me, and it might work for you.  If you love parties then please do say hi on Instagram which was where this party took place: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ Shop/gift/review - Fertile Imagination: https://amzn.to/3F6AgMu TRANSCRIPT I also wanted to point out that Beth is an empty nester. And a lot of empty nesters have actually weighed in on Amazon in terms of reviews. For Fertile Imagination, my debut book, which launched and is available to you right now on Amazon, and you can purchase or write a review if you've already purchased it. Here's something that you might not know. So empty nesters have weighed in and a lot of them say that they wish they had this book either back in the seventies as Kathy Ryan said, and she was an and made their executive and now she's a great grandmother. Or a book that they needed 20 years ago, such as my editor, Amanda  McMahon. She's actually in Australia and you'll see her name in the book as my editor. Here's what she said and is available for you to read on Amazon as a review. She says, I was hooked the minute Melissa pitched her idea to me. Her passion for helping moms who want a rewarding, but balanced life is contagious. Coupled with the wisdom of her podcast guests, we'll have you reach for a pen to fill out the questions at the end of each chapter. Every mom will find something in her book that speaks to them from challenging your inner, your imposter syndrome to acting classes to help create a new persona. Yes, I took acting classes. Melissa says she knows how hard it is to find time for yourself. She has three sons, including twins, and that is true. So her humorous, self-deprecating stories will be relevant to you. So I love, love, love that Amanda shares this perspective. Isn't it interesting how you might not realize that in your own writing, but someone else who's like really in between the lines can notice how you approach and the tone of your voice. So I wanted to share with you a snippet of Amanda's Amazon review because every single review matters so much. There are about 3 million moms who search and log into Amazon every single day. That is my back-of-the-envelope sort of shortcut thinking based on some of the stats they have online. And what happens is if a book has a hundred or more Amazon reviews, Amazon will go ahead and suggest the book as a product that they can purchase. Right now, you know it, if you are shopping for the holidays. There are so many moms looking for the perfect gifts for their mothers, their grandmothers, their sisters, their friends, and their cousins. And wouldn't it be amazing if fertile imagination were suggested by Amazon? And in order to do that, it would be really important to have a written Amazon review. On Amazon as soon as possible because timing matters every single day that I am not at that goal of a hundred Amazon written reviews. That's three million missed opportunities to tell a mom that she can do it. Others have done it. And here is how through the use of your fertile imagination. Enjoy this conversation with Beth Neidick. And I hope that you absolutely get some value. If you are a woman in business and you've ever wanted to work with a very powerful influencer, I share some tips, and again, dare yourself to do something this holiday season. See if it puts a jolt in your step. It worked for me. Tune in and enjoy the conversation. So I wanted to know how you got so many of my friends to talk to you today because I went back on their calendar and I looked at your list and I was like, Oh my God, we know all the same people.  And that made me think of all the big names who are in your book too. Yeah, all the big names. So I like talking to strangers and I think that's why I was able to like do this book. Ultimately, 25 podcast guests have appeared on Unimaginable Wellness since 2017, James Altucher, Gary V, Susie Batiz, and Beth Comstock. These are like really outstanding individuals you see on TV that you feel like, Oh wow, they're like totally hard to grasp, get in touch with. But for me. My podcast started with a dare. And so one day I was cooking rice and beans as a Latina mom does. And my husband was listening to James Altucher, who you may have heard of and he was chatting with Gary Vee saying anyone that launches a podcast because of this conversation, I will be your guest number three. And then the other person, whoever I kind of swapped right now said I'll be guest number four. And so it's pretty hilarious because I thought it was going to be easy. I was like, Oh, surely they promised we were from like the East Coast. So we kind of get like, maybe not. Right. So you know what I had to do? I had to, with my husband, go to James Altucher's comedy club and show up there. And he poked fun at me, actually.  I was like, what is it then, the butt of his joke or whatever. And so I tweeted at him after the fact and I said, yeah, it was me, the person you poked fun of. Can you be on my podcast? And he invited me to his home. To interview him. Yeah. Upper West side. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I had to get a crew. So of course I got a former podcast guest who was, who's the trombone dancer, by the way, he's in New York City. He will play the trombone and dance. Okay. Jonathan Arons. And I asked a former client of mine, who's a military mom to come with me to manage logistics. And that's how it started. It was a dare and it's, it's really about doing things that other people won't do. So like you might want to approach people and you're a PR expert. So you might want to approach people online, but if you show up in their comedy club, you distinguish yourself immediately. So that was one way that I got one person, James Altucher on my podcast. I showed up, I just showed up. Well, yay. Good, good for you. And that's honestly something I tell my clients all the time is like, it just sending an email or DM is not actually going to get you there, right? You need an intro. You need something interesting. I think those grassroots old-school tactics, like postcards, or even a letter. Like, how much mail does Gary Vee's company actually get? Probably not that much because no one does anymore. But you send an 11 by 17  message or letter to him, he's going to open it, or at least his assistant will open it. But anybody that you want, I hear so often from clients of mine that want to get their products on celebrities. And it's like,  DM them six times. And I'm like, That's actually not going to help you. What's going to actually help you is getting the publicist's email list or getting on the phone with the publicist or the manager. There are so many more ways to do this not only being dared, which I love, love, love the fact that you were being dared, but that you just like showed up in the flesh because that's what makes the difference. And that's, it goes back to like what we actually, what we talked about the other day in private, it's about the relationships. Yeah. Creating the opportunity for you to have a relationship that ultimately will be the opportunity for your success 100%. And I think it's about counting yourself in. And I think a lot of times we count ourselves out and we decline ourselves. Like we don't even give ourselves the opportunity to put the offer out and get a yes or no. We say no in our head, or we say, you know what? They're going to say no. Right. And then you stop yourself. So like with Beth Comstock, who's also in the book, former CMO of GE, I didn't grow up with connections. When I saw GE, I would think like, I don't know the light bulb or whatever. And maybe I think Edison, is right. Was he involved with the wrong company right now? Anyway, the point of the matter is it was something that just felt so far reached. Right. But with Beth Comstock, I went to ad week in New York City. And I showed up at like, I think it was the equality lounge or something like that. And I asked her, it wasn't even in person though. That one, I did a follow-up. I had already gotten Gary Vee and when I asked her, do you know that she said yes right away? And then in the book, I document this. I chickened out, I chickened out because she said yes, right away. I had not felt like I earned it. Her being on my podcast, the way that I earned in my mind, Gary Vee and James Altucher with everything that I did, was like a hundred-day sprint of trying to reach out to these two guys. And so with her, I remember, and I have this in the book when I talk about imposter syndrome and feeling like you don't belong, you're not enough. Like so many of us feel that way, whether you're a mom or a business owner, and you're trying to play bigger. I had to go up to Beth. A second time, this was a year later into it. When I funny enough, there seemed to move me when I dared my client, my client to actually talk to a decision maker, cause she wanted to land a job opportunity. And I told her, I said, you know what, I'll do it with you. You talk to that person and I'll go back and I'll reach out to bed, come stop. And so I call that courage and company, right? So sometimes you don't want to do it alone. And so you bring someone with you and that's what I did. I love that. I think it's also that's also like having people in your corner can give you the possibility of that big goal that big thing because like I'm, you know me I'm always transparent and I always tell my husband's like you tell everybody everything I'm like well that's what helps all of us. I'm working on a big project for 2024. I spoke to three friends two of them Their advice was to keep it small. One friend gave me the possibility of what I could create from the project. And I didn't realize They were feeding into, like, safety and you're okay, and you put yourself out there and you could, right, I can retreat and kind of do this on a smaller level, and she was like, Do you know what your name is? Do you know who you are? Like, we don't do things small, we do, and it's what, it's what you do, it's what I do, and I think so often we don't, we talk about the people that we keep in our circle, but we also think what, where their perception is. On the possibility of anything.  Oh, a hundred percent because that's why for me, Fertile Imagination is the title of the book. It's like, you are looking at a vision. You're casting a vision that you may have never seen another mom in your circle, including in your family actually execute. So if your top five people have never run a marathon and all of a sudden you want to run a marathon, that's when you need to get fertile baby. Okay, that's, that's when you need to just be like, all right, I got to figure this out on my own. And that's when sometimes you have to go outside of your family, outside of your circle, even outside of your country to find the people that are doing things that make you light. up. That's why the book has people from all over the world and people who have life experiences and many of them are totally unlike my own. I don't have a similar life experience as Muyambi who created a nonprofit Cycle Connect in Uganda. Like he and I, we went to Tuck to business school, but we didn't even know each other at Tuck. Number one, that was me talking to a stranger again, which I really, I really love. But number two, he just has a completely different viewpoint on urgency, right? So if there's a problem you want to solve anywhere around the world, and you're a mom and you're in the middle of a little community, let's say, or whatever, that urgency should be enough to make you say to yourself, I don't know if I have what it takes, but I want to solve that problem wherever your heart draws your attention to. Right. So that's the beauty. I love that. Well, let's talk about those. I know you have three stages of the fertile imagination. Let's talk a little bit about that because I think, like, even when you just tell me about it, it helps me. So let's talk about it. Yeah.  So a fertile imagination, again, it's like having that vision. You've never seen it before, but it's enough to drive you to like it. Do what it takes to make it happen. So there are three steps. The first one is waking up your imagination. So the deal is we're not sleeping as moms, but our imagination has been sleeping this whole time. So our imagination is only going to come out and play if it feels confident that we're going to play with it. Right? So if you have this bright idea. And every time you had this idea, you kept pushing it away. Your imagination is not going to give you some more bright ideas. It's going to be like, this lady doesn't want to play. It's not safe. I'm not coming out. So it goes to sleep. So step one, wake up your imagination. How do you wake it up? It's that inner work. It's reflecting on what you want. And, and your relationship with calling yourself creative as well. And when I say creative, it's not just like arts and crafts. It's like creative problem-solving. It's. Innovating. It's coming up with fresh ideas. Then it's about, okay, I woke up the imagination. Now I want to play with it. Right? So it's like a muscle. If you don't use it, you lose it. So again, you're practicing. Okay. How can I re-imagine the way that I mother, for example, how can I reimagine the way that I bring this business idea to the market? How can I reimagine strategic partnerships or solutions to problems that have yet to be solved? So it's cross-pollination. It's like all these businessy things that you could apply as a mom as well in your life, right? So that's. Playing with your imagination. And that's where you have the examples that I gave, like Beth Comstock, going to Korea, to a K-pop band, to come up with a brilliant idea for GE sounds hard to, to imagine, but that's what it is. You got to go really all out. The third stage is about stretching your imagination. So any human out there, business owner, a mom, you want to duplicate yourself. This is how you duplicate yourself. You ask. For help, this is how you stretch your imagination. You tell other people your idea and you give them the language to be able to share that idea with their people. Right? So it's about really taking this ability that you and I had as little girls, the ability to pretend right now is Halloween today. You see people pretending they're all sorts of things. Right. Yeah, we were like that. I may pretend that I was Madonna in the eighties. I pretended that I was punky Brewster maybe. Right. And it was fun. It was fun. And we played with these ideas. And now as moms, it's like being a mom, it's, it's a role. It's an identity and you could really play with it. Just like being an entrepreneur, you could play with that. And so it's about having that psychological flexibility. With which to tackle life, life is an adventure. You have to figure it out and be nimble. Yeah, I totally agree. And I'm listening to you as an empty nester mom because I'm going to, I'm in the next stage of what it actually like to be a mom. And as a mom, I know you have a lot of little kids in your house, not little, but little, little, or other mine, it takes time too.  It took carve out that time to have that imagination because I think a lot of times moms don't take the 15 minutes in the bathroom to think they take it to just kind of decompress But that's that taking that time to actually think to roll over your ideas To really figure out what you want to be doing next, whatever chapter you're in. I think that's really hard for moms to do. Like, what's your advice to, to, when you're like, well, I'm too busy to think about myself. How do we take the time to think about ourselves? Because to be honest, I have a lot more time now and it's, and it's, it's a little uncomfortable, to be honest. Really? Having time? All the moms are listening to you like, what? Oh my god, I want to feel uncomfortable.  Oh, you're so funny years. I've been used to like be having them here.  And then for me, I didn't realize how much of my community was my kids' community. And now that that's moved on. There's a lot of space, and I now need to recreate the community of people who are supporting me in different ways.  Yeah, I think this need for connection, this loneliness epidemic, and how moms seldom kind of like, fess up to one another. Like, this is how I feel, and I'm kind of confused of how to approach this, and it's something that we keep to ourselves oftentimes. I think giving ourselves time to reflect on anything, at any stage of motherhood, is the biggest value add for our entire lives. For example, in the book, I interviewed someone who's known for Socratic method questions, Mark Champagne. And what he had to say was that let's imagine you're constantly interrupted. No mom knows what that feels like.  But yeah, we're constantly interrupted. Well, here's what happens. One interruption is going to take you off course for whatever you plan for that very specific day. If you don't take a second to reflect on it, wait a minute, what was I planning to do right now as it related to my long-term plan? If you don't take that second, that pause.  Ask yourself deeper questions about why you're doing what you're doing that could be a 10-year, like off-track sort of road, as opposed to like a five-minute, like, wait a minute, let me get back on track and back on goal. So those pauses, while they might feel like superfluous and not as.  you're in the heat of motherhood, they can absolutely save you a decade. For, I remember I was coaching 12 years now, working with women in corporations. They didn't have time to breathe, not even right. It was like, you're just moving and you're flying by the seat of your pants and all that stuff. And for them, it's like, Oh, wait a minute. When I would work with them, it's like, I had not. Thought of what I wanted out of my career. I had not considered how I wanted to experience my life after work. Like there's so many unknowns and you know what happens? Other people define them for you if you don't take hold of that.  Yeah. And put you in a place, right? And then there's not any possibility because I always talk to my clients the same way. It's like, what, what is possible for you for this lifetime? What is possible? Now what always comes up and I think we talked about before too and it's in the book like the stories of Why I Can't stories that when you can create that story like you can make anything mean anything so in this idea of imagination creating the story of I'm infinite and I can do anything I want and I think you live you and I really live by that Because who told you, you could write a book who told me I could write a book. Oh, girl. Oh yeah. Everyone. Amen. Right.  Yeah. That's so that's the whole thing. You know, I wish like, I do wish sometimes that someone would just tell me like, play by play, like Melissa, you're writing a book now, then you're doing a Ted talk, then you're doing a this, but the truth of the matter is that if I don't choose it for myself, I'm actually not even as excited about it. To be honest, I've, I've tried, I've tried to fake the funk and want what other people want for me, but it's really hard because that takes extra energy, right? Like if you have something you want to do and it comes from you, there's just like a surge that makes it possible. It's funny you say that. Because I was at my therapist earlier. And I'm just talking about what I'm doing. I'm doing a launch and I have this project idea and he said when you talk about this project, you light up. He's when you love your business, but there's a different level of passion when you talk about this project and that, right? That's like, oh, I should be paying attention to that because a lot of people don't. Your life is like when you imagine what could be possible or what cannot be possible. What do you see? A lot of the blocks are for the moms that you work with.  I think a lot of them, it's this collective agreement that there are excuses that are totally valid in all situations. So it's almost like as moms, it's like, we don't have enough time. Like everybody agrees now. It's almost like we got into this room and we all spoke before the meeting. And we said, let's all agree that we can all say we don't have time. And that's the imagination from working. Or I don't, I want to spend time with my kids at this age. They're only going to be one for one year, right? They're only going to be in this stage for that particular time. And what I say to that is. Our dreams also have timestamps, like if somebody's looking to get into AI, you need to do it now, not 10 years from now. Right. So there's timestamps. If you want to run a marathon in the age category of being a 40-year-old woman, yeah, you're going to be in your forties now. I mean, I guess we could repeat it, but it's not realistic.  So. So it's like collectively we've said, okay, if a mom says she doesn't have time, take it as is and move on. Or if a mom says I don't have childcare or if I don't have the education or if I don't have the connections, then it's like we accept it. And in the book, I mean, I spoke with someone that's a Hall of Famer rugby player. Okay. In gym class in elementary school, I was the last kid to get picked for every single team sport. So for me to talk to someone who is in a completely different position is like, like fairy tale land stuff. Right. And, I could have like, by the way, no one told me to reach out to Phaidra Knight. That was me. Like, no one told me, I don't even watch Rugby. But I just felt like I wanted to talk to somebody who had a perspective on standards and the standards that you hold yourself up to. And so while we might have standards that our kids have to be perfectly polished when it comes to family photo sessions, not me, but people do. My standard is, well, I need to constantly be growing professionally, like period. I don't need to work for Procter and Gamble to have a performance evaluation that I'm marking my success metric by, like I have my own, right? So to your point, Beth, it's like. How, what's the standard for your life? Right? Like, is it okay for you to use time as an excuse? It's not my standard. Like it's, it's more like if I don't want to do it, I'll use time. But if I want to do it, I don't even think about time. We're like time warping, you know?  I love that. I love the whole concept of that. And when I talk to my clients and they're talking about their sales calls, if somebody says time, I'm like, that's an excuse, how do we reach? Reframe what time is, but a lot of nerve talking this time and time. It takes time to read your book. So let's talk a little bit about why they should make the time to read your book. Absolutely. So the book is made and it's structured in a way that you don't have to read it in one sitting. That's not the idea. The idea is it's a guide that you have on your bookshelf, right? And every time that you feel like you're stuck and you just need a little inspiration, you grab the book, you look at a chapter that really draws your attention. Like, let's say you don't feel decisive or you don't feel, or you feel like an imposter, go to that chapter and then see how someone else has managed to take that. Feeling and like flip it in a different direction, right? Reframe it, reposition it. So if you're a mom right now who feels like, okay, there's got to be a better way. Like right now I feel like I'm dragging through life. I feel like I'm everybody else's cheerleader. I feel like I'm not myself. Self, right? Like I don't, I'm not happy. Like if you're not happy right now, this is your opportunity to see what else might be available to you. If you've tried like the therapies and you've tried coaching and you've tried and I'm going out here. Because I have tried therapy and it takes me to the back, right? History. And it's really hard to pull myself forward. Sometimes I've tried coaching and it just depends if you're in a business space and you want marketing coaching, then that's great. But that might not solve some limiting beliefs. Right. But if you feel like. You have more to give to yourself, right? If you feel like you have something inside of you that you want to put out in the world, then grab the book, grab the book, because you're going to see, you're going to see me and my mistakes, and you're going to see other people and like their greatest achievements. And there's going to be this middle ground that is perfect for you. And I give you questions that you can use to tailor your path. So it's very practical, but it's also very approachable because you could just look at it like one chapter for a whole week if that's your heart's desire and take action. I  love that. I love it so much. And like always, where can everyone buy your book? Just go to the link in my bio today. And if you're not a mom, you could give it as a gift in the Kindle format. So gifted to a mom who you believe in today is the day of imagination. Let's invite moms to rediscover our imaginations as well. Use today to start.  Well, congratulations on the book and everything that you put together. I can't wait to read the book. I can't wait to be on your podcast. And I'm so grateful that we got a chance to catch up today. So thank you so much. Thank you.  Thank you so much, Beth. You're amazing. Have a beautiful rest of the day in the neighborhood and may you have amazing bagels very soon. Thank you. Bye, everybody.  I love Beth's energy and I think that my energy matches her energy, but she's an empty nester. So isn't that cool? Like you could actually be in any season of motherhood and step it up. So I want to also invite you if you have shopped for the book Fertile Imagination, you take the opportunity two minutes today to go ahead, go to Amazon.com, look up Fertile Imagination or look at your orders, and then go ahead and write two to three sentences. In terms of the book itself, two to three sentences go a long way every single day. Three million moms log into Amazon and that's three million missed opportunities. If we delay one day of writing a review if you have not purchased the book. Then I invite you to go ahead and shop the book. If the review resonated with you, go ahead and gift the book. If you are not sure how to actually like a gift your sister-in-law or your mother-in-law or your friend, something that really conveys the message that you believe in their ideas and you believe in them. This would be the book to put in a stocking. This would be the book to put under a holiday tree. This would be a book. To give someone that you deeply believe in and that you want to see sore, enjoy the rest of the season and I hope you're done with your holiday shopping and I hope you're done with the things that might have really weighed heavy on your mind. So thank you for this conversation and have a good one.  ​   

Dare to dream big to achieve your goals! Join Becca and Marie as they discuss creativity and the power of being authentic and sincere with Melissa Llarena.Melissa is the author of Fertile Imagination a guide for moms who want to rediscover this versatile superpower to make a difference in the world. She is an imagination coach, podcast host of Unimaginable Wellness, and mom to three sons. Her background is in psychology which she studied at NYU and in business having earned an MBA from Tuck.Tune into Unimaginable WellnessInstagramFertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact

Welcome to Episode 207. In today's conversation, I actually had the wonderful opportunity to speak with Lana Ashby Rowder, the founder of LookingGlass Lifestyle, which is about styling yourself and leveraging technology in order to make this wonderful, wonderful gift of aesthetics, a possibility for every single person. I wanted to just share something before we jump in. Lana and I met at a library. It was me talking to strangers which brought us together. She helped me pick out the style that made sense for my book cover of Fertile Imagination. Cool, right? This conversation was on book launch day, and I'm sharing that with you because there was so much excitement in terms of the possibilities of this book. Also, the book managed to get to position one in the motherhood category and also number one in women in business as an Amazon bestseller.  If you love parties then please do say hi on Instagram which was where this party took place: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ Shop/gift/review - Fertile Imagination: https://amzn.to/3F6AgMu TRANSCRIPT And so the conversation with Lana is very fitting as she is a woman in business and she's gone through her own career transitions, having been a nurse. before and now a business owner. So this is what I want to share with you. I want to share with you a review on Amazon for Fertile Imagination, my debut book. So the book is all about rediscovering yourself and really leveraging the power of your imagination for yourself as a mom. Oftentimes we imagine the best in everyone else. I mean, we're talking about like, we imagine the best in terms of some of our kids' teachers, in terms of our partners, in terms of are OBGYNs. And I want you to take that superpower, that amazing, unmagnificent vision you have for others, and turn it on yourself so that you can dream really, really big. So here is an Amazon review. It comes from someone named Andrew. So I just want to say that it's amazing how Andrew really gets moms. Because I resonated with his review on Amazon. He says, fertile imagination is a must-read for anyone feeling stuck in the merry-go-round of life. Ain't that the truth? I had to just interject. Using personal stories, interview excerpts, and creative exercises, Melissa inspires you to tap into your inner creativity and go after what you've always dreamed of. Even if you aren't a mom, this book will help get you unstuck when it comes to reaching your potential. I have found myself frozen sometimes when I think about what I want to accomplish and what I have yet to do. And I want to really be sure that you and I both have some sort of way to overcome those hurdles. And oftentimes you write the book that you need most. And that's why I wrote Fertile Imagination. So Andrew had an opportunity to write a review on Amazon, two to three sentences, sharing his opinion about Fertile Imagination, my book. And these reviews are so important, which is why I wanted to read it to you first because it give you a sense of whether the book is right for you or for a friend. But second, if Amazon sees that a book has a hundred Amazon reviews, It will then help market the book to new readers. And here's the deal. How amazing would that be for a mom who is purchasing holiday gifts for her family on Amazon to then get a little nudge from Amazon to see that, wow, there's this book called Fertile Imagination that could actually help me accomplish what I want to accomplish in the new year of 2024. They would have never seen it if Amazon didn't see that you wrote an Amazon review and about 3 million moms a day log into Amazon. Those are the statistics and that's a little bit of back-of-the-envelope math for you. So every single day that we are not at 100 reviews. Is a day that 3 million moms would not have seen that fertile imagination as a possibility for them too. So I really could use your help. I want to be sure that we get through that 100 Amazon reviews. So, off to the conversation with Lana. It is sensational. I absolutely love how thoughtful she was. And I also want to just give her a huge shout-out because she is looking for VCs. So if you think that Lookingglass lifestyle is an interesting opportunity for you, be sure to reach out to me via Instagram at Melissa Llarena. And now for the conversation with Lana, where we talk about speaking to your inner child. And she's a mom that has a little girl. And I wanted to just say that because I have all boys and I appreciate hearing from moms who have very different life experiences. So stay tuned for that as well.  Yeah, I want to talk about your book. So I didn't realize until today that you had been doing coaching for moms for like 12 years and that's is that what kind of got you to the point where you're like, I want to write a book on some of these stories or share some of these insights that I've learned is that what really propelled this? Yeah, 12 years of having a conversation that usually is held tightly guarded, like these secret conversations, right? Like I'm at work and I don't feel supported or I'm at work and I'm in this job and I don't know if I'm going to get to the C suite. There are all these emotions behind the scenes, especially with working moms in particular. So we have these inner conflicts that we're trying to untangle. And I even talk about that, like in the book, like it's like these knots in the back of our heads that are like impossible to unknot. And for me, I just felt like, okay, I'm having conversations with both working moms and also working dads. And that's not even a phrase, which is pretty interesting as I think about it. And they sound different. They really sound different. And I thought to myself, what if I shared a little bit of what I'm hearing from like, The guys and what I'm hearing from people that are not moms, and I empower moms to like have this like psychological flexibility with which they can create their own life experience like at home, at the office, anywhere you want to be. That's amazing. I know so many women are going to benefit from this book, moms especially. I had a similar experience. What you're talking about is when I was starting my company Looking Glass, it was like this gnawing in the back of my head that was like, there's more. There's more. Like, just try this thing. You have this idea. And like, I could not shake it no matter what I did, what I tried. And I sat on my idea for a while, but it, yeah, I think just everything you have in the book, encouraging moms to kind of, to find their purpose and stretch their imagination. That was the point that I really liked was the imagination. Like, Tapping into that what if that lets you play to your reference about Halloween this morning? Like what would you want to be when you grow up? Even if you're 40, what do you want to be?  Play like it's Halloween like you get to imagine how this can look for you. So I really love all your insights on that. Yeah, I think when you grow up and I say this as a mom who's been around the mom lights for 12 years now both in the U.S. and living abroad in Australia, what I have noticed is that there's this like, almost like kind of like, I give up. I shouldn't play. I'm too old for that. There's so much going on. I don't have time to like, introduce laughter in my life. It's all about like, do, do, do, the checklist, figuring out how much can get done in a day. And what happens is something that's really, really, Horrible for entrepreneurs, right? So as an entrepreneur, what I hear all the time is to enjoy the process. Well, how the heck am I supposed to enjoy the process? If I keep on adding even more pressure behind what needs to happen in the day. So one way to add a little bit of levity and to actually enjoy the process of motherhood of entrepreneurship, of being a partner in any other capacity. Is by finding a way to almost add a breath of fresh air to the moment. And so this is something that helps people not just with their children, like today, Halloween, like we are more playful today because our kids are dressed up and we're all having that fun with them. But like, let's say you're in like a very stressed situation, right? And right now you have a company and there are all these competitors coming into the marketplace. The best way for you to tackle any challenge, any creative challenge is to actually step away and like really daydream like Sarah Blakely, whom I'm wearing, by the way, because of your style, by the way, I have literally legit Sarah Blakely Spanx jeans on right now. She actually, yeah. Her best ideas came when she was daydreaming. Her best ideas happen when she's like playing with her four kids. This is something that is proven from a business perspective. Like I have Beth Comstock who was the former CMO of GE in my book. I interviewed her and she herself had gone to a Korean pop concert for divine inspiration for something that can add value to a manufacturing company like GE like playing can be profitable as much as it's fun and something you do with your kids. And I think that there's a lot that we need as moms. We need so many tools like our bags have everything, lipstick, mascara, but we need other tools that we can be like, all right, let me pull this out for when I don't know what to do. And your imagination is that versatile. Yeah. I like to look at kids in another way. Like I love the idea of mirroring them and thinking like, how do they play? Let's, we should also be playing like that. But one, one thing I love and  Breeja Larson talks about it in your book. Is that like, how would you speak to your inner child? And I've done this where when I wanted to launch my business or I thought I shouldn't go to that work event because my kids, my kids, my kids, I've flipped it in my head like, what would I tell my daughter? If my daughter wants to be a working mom and she wants to launch her business, would I tell my daughter, no, stay home and make spaghetti? Or would I tell her, you know what? Go out. Do that interview do that networking thing that you've been planning and just reach for the star So I've tried to shift it in my head. What advice would I give my daughter? When I'm thinking about my own decisions as a working mom.  Yeah Yeah, and and here's the thing. Let's just imagine your daughter did choose to make spaghetti we're in a situation right now where we have cellphones. So technically she could put her cell phone on a tripod, show up to that event, and show herself making spaghetti for her kids and still make a profit in whatever it is she chooses to do. Some straight-up people make spaghetti, record themselves, and make money doing so on Instagram. Right. So, we're in a world where you could actually have a situation where it's like, yes. And yes, I can show up to whatever, like a soccer game or whatever I could be present and focused. And then when the game is over on my way to the car, I could get back online, whatever needs to happen, and make those choices along the way. So I think, yeah, Breeja Larson is so kicked tush. I'm a mom, right? We can't use potty language, but she's so kicked tush. She's an Olympian swimmer for anyone who doesn't know her. And she was the one that said, basically, what about that little girl inside of you? Like, what is it going to take for you to when you're not motivated, jump into a cold pool and practice anyway? And for Breeja, it was conjuring that inner little girl. And as a mom today, it's Halloween. I want you to go back to when you were like eight years old. Like who did you dress as? Who did you want to be? What did you think you would look like or be like at this age right now? And, and how can you not let her down? And I think your imagination can help you figure out the how. Yeah, absolutely. The other thing I love about Rhea Larson is reading a book and knowing a little bit about her. She is an Olympic gold medalist in swimming with a breaststroke, and I have a daughter who does breaststroke and swims. But what I love about her is that she didn't start year-round swimming until she was much older. And so I love that too, like the mirror there for the moms, like, If you didn't start when you were 18 or in college or you took some time off or you decided to be a stay-at-home mom, it's not too late to now turn and pursue your dreams and train for something and learn a new skill and reach for the stars. So I really love, I love that part of her story. Yeah, and I think Breeja talks about it from a perspective of still being a child, technically, when she started her craft. But then there's also Theo, Theo Travers, who's in my book as well. He was the executive producer of the show Billions. He was in his 30s. And that's when he decided to go across the road, the road, go across the United States to Hollywood and like pursue writing, which at the time felt like something you would do super early in your career, not after being a TV journalist with a lot of success. Right. So I think this whole thing of, well, I should have done that when I was  18 or 20, that stops a lot of dreams from even having a chance. And so if you're. 30, 40, 50, 60, like straight up, you're the age you are period. Now we move forward. What can be done? What can you do? And maybe you can create your own category and whatever it is you want to pursue. Like there's sky's the limit with your imagination, right? Yeah. So why do you think that is? Why do you think moms in particular, come out of college, we're in college, we can do anything, and we can be anything we want to be. And then we stop, maybe we stay home for a while, we have kids, we kind of pursue more of a domestic role.  And then maybe we have these dreams. Why do you think moms kind of fall into that where they feel like they can't pursue those dreams anymore? What is it about motherhood or about being in this kind of middle life in the 30s, or 40s that kind of stops dreams from being pursued?  Yeah, it's, it's so funny because in the book, really what I share is this idea of holding yourself up to a higher standard than other people might hold you up to. And I think as a collective, as moms, there are certain excuses, and I'm just going to say the word excuses, that we've agreed are valid. And are the reasons why it's okay for us not to go after what we want. So one of the excuses might be something like I don't have the time, right? However, it's kind of funny how we might make the time to binge-watch something on Netflix But we don't have the time to go to the gym exercise blah blah blah. So it's like collectively accepting it. Just like when you're a mom, the notion I've heard is if you're a mom, then you no longer come first. Like it's no longer about you. You could take that really literally, right? And so it becomes any moment that you have to decide between your priorities and your child's, you're always going to choose yourself. Even if the consequence for your kid is not really a big deal. And I'm not talking about the serious stuff. Like you got to go to the hospital.  be on some sort of TV show. I'm talking about things like, Oh no, my kid is not going to show up with like a homemade Halloween costume today. Right. Versus man, I really want to do an Instagram live with Lana right now. So like right now, my, I know my kids are not having GMO-free snacks this second. Like they're literally at a. a theme park here in Austin that has sugar up the wazoo. Am I going to pay for it? Yes, I am. But that's what I chose for today. Right, right. Yeah, it's all a balance, right? I mean, I think to kind of play off what you're saying about the moms and the making excuses and why it's acceptable to not follow your dreams. One thing I noticed with my clients is being overwhelmed. And so they make excuses like, I don't really care what I look like, or I don't care. I'm 20 pounds heavier,, but I'm too busy to do anything about it. Or I don't care about clothes. So I don't care how I look in photos. But to me, as I've gotten to know a lot of my clients on a more personal level, and even taking this to my years as a nurse,  to me, that's just kind of a mask for overwhelm. They have this dream inside whether it's to have a new career or launch their own business or pursue. Painting, whatever it is, but the ideas of like, now that they're trying to figure out how to do it and learning it and starting something, it's just, they're so overwhelmed by all the other balls that they have in the air that they just kind of maybe say, I don't care about that. Or I used to want to do this, but like, I can't do it now because, to me, it's just an underlying feeling of they're just overwhelmed and they don't know how to act on it.  I think one of the early readers of my book was saying that really sometimes we're also intimidated by our own dreams. And so if that mom that you are saying feels overwhelmed, maybe she's overwhelmed because she assumes that pursuing this business idea, for example, like she's going to have only like her current level, like information, her current level relationships, current level skills. But in the book, what I share is that you tend to grow with your dreams. So like last year, if someone told me, Melissa, you would have to figure out how to get like the interior of your book ready and set and into like amazon.com. For example, I would have been like, oh my god I don't have my book yet, right? I would have been so scared and I didn't have certain Facebook groups that I would ask these questions to But as I've grown along with my dream as I'm executing on my dream I've been able to increase my capacity, and also figure out where I have gaps and I don't know anything. So I've been able to figure out like, who can I ask that has already accomplished what I wish to accomplish. So like that mom, to your point, like, let's say you're overwhelmed, right? You want to have, for example, beautiful holiday photos, right? And you see all these holiday photos every year that come to your house. And you like, I'm making this up, tape them to your wall. Some of us do that, right? Or you like to hold them as this beautiful, like the reflection of a perfect life. Why is it that my kids have their fingers in their nose and their picture or Tommy has a Mohawk and I'm not into that, right? Like if you feel, if you see that disconnect in the moment. All you have to do is just say to yourself, okay, wait a minute, let me just start with the one picture I really liked. Let me call that one mom and let me just ask her, like, did you have a stylist? Did you hire a photographer? Like did you tell your kids that you would take them to Disney World if they stood still? You know what I mean? Like you just ask one person. That you admire, like the result of their efforts, just like what, what did they do? And if we're more open about our dreams, even if they intimidate us or overwhelm us or our ambitions, even if they embarrass us too, that's the other thing where we, we feel that's one step forward to actually reducing overwhelm. Yeah.  So do you feel like moms, it's hard for them to be vulnerable at this point when they're talking about their own dreams and their own things for the sake of looking silly or embarrassed around other moms in the community? Or why is it that we stopped sharing the things that we're passionate about that aren't related to our family and our kids?  Yeah. So here's the thing. We all want to evolutionarily be part of a group, right? And so if a group with which you hang out with our moms who look put together, who show up at Halloween with like all the bells and whistles of Halloween stuff and, and you all of a sudden want to do your own thing. thing and be a little different, you're going to then feel like the group is no longer going to accept me. Like my mom, friends are going to think that I am, and I'm making this up, but like me with a book, for example, right? Like right now I have a book and a lot of the people that I've engaged with, they don't have a book, but they have a book inside of them, right? They have a book in their heart. And so sometimes even for me, like I might feel like okay let me not mention today's book launch day because like what if that makes them feel bad or makes them feel any sort of feelings that are not positive also what if now they don't look at me in the same way? What if now when they say I have a book in me, they feel embarrassed because I have a book outside of me? So it's really group dynamics. And it's about just like this need to feel like we're in a group of people who accept us. And if we start doing things differently than the people with whom we hang out with, we will, and this is the truth, we will notice a couple of differences. And it's all a matter of like, who do you want to be? Who do you want to be? And I think that's a question we don't take time to ask ourselves.  Yes,  absolutely. So what can we do as fellow moms when we're in these groups to maybe help women express their dreams? Or what questions can we ask? How should we be reacting when they do open up and share?  Yeah, so I would say the best thing that you can do is ask the mom a follow-up question, right? So I love asking questions, which is why in the book I have like five questions for every single chapter that a mom can reflect upon and I have questions you could answer like Five minutes by yourself for like five hours. It depends on you. And I would say, ask a mom. Okay. Wow. That's interesting. What made you want to pursue that? Like, that's a super simple question. That's interesting. What made you want to pursue that? Or another question could be, that's really cool. Tell me more. Super basic. You're just asking them to express themselves. And the beauty is having been a coach for 12 years in the capacity where I'm helping people land these like six figure corporate jobs, et cetera, is that I'm using the same skills, but for moms who are entrepreneurs and who just needs to flesh out their ambitions. And as it relates. to our Children. And I actually have a five-day challenge on my website that moms can go to. Just go to the link in my bio. But as it relates to your kids, your kids are like amazing question-askers. That's the bomb, right? Two. They also force us to be really simple with how we express our ideas, and that's key to sales as well. So if you have an idea in your heart and you tell someone the idea you could tell your kids that idea and ask them to Talk back to you and say what did you understand by that? But if you are someone in a mom group and someone says it's like a wacky idea quote unquote what you might want to do is just Ask wow, that's interesting. Tell me more and leave it at that. You don't have to put judgment or improve it or anything. Just tell me more is, is really amazing. Actually, it feels good. I think  I was going to say in the role of a mom, like having somebody else be like, tell me more and getting the opportunity to talk about like what's in your heart and not having to talk about kids and other things. And someone just genuinely showing interest in your dream and just really giving you permission and the space to like. put that out there in the universe and speak it to life and tell people like I do have this idea and You never know where that's gonna lead that may lead to them being like I know a book publisher Or I have a friend who already published a book. Let me hook you up So you mentioned this really early on when I hopped on and I think it's been so true and valuable for me It's like just speak it out there Talk to people find people at the library like you and I met to ask them what they think about this ask them just make conversations because there are so many great people out there that want to connect and want to help fellow moms. And I've been so fortunate to have a couple of mentors that have really connected the dots with me. But it just started with me having a little bit of courage to really be honest about what I wanted to do. Yeah.  And I think here's the thing, like,  again, it's about what, what's been heard before from mom circles before. So like, it's common, for example, for a mom to say, I want to be a teacher, for example, right? Because like, the summer's off and all of that stuff. It's common for a mom to say, Oh, I want to participate more heavily in like the parent-teacher groups and all of that. And I know it's uncommon to say, I want to be invested or backed by a VC within like 90 days, or I want my app to hit like 20 million downloads within X period of time. That's uncommon. And that's why for me, fertile imagination means that you have a vision that's. so big that maybe you've never seen it done by a mom before, but you've got the guts to go after it anyways. And that's the distinction. So I think it's about figuring out what's common and just letting go of that and being uncommon. And I think that's okay. It's so amazing., I read a couple of chapters. I just bought the book this morning. when it officially went on sale. But I can't wait for all moms to read this and just the reach that you're gonna have with this book. I think it's really gonna hit a lot of hearts in the mom communities and really just tap into that kind of loneliness or maybe unsureness and just really give a lot of people the courage to look inside themselves. And be honest about their dreams, and, I think your book is going to do a lot of great things. Thank you so much, Lana. This has been sensational. I think you have to become a journalist, girl. No, not at all, but I do have to run to parent-teacher conferences, but I have one more question for you. I want to know, as I have the book and I want to gift it to others for the holidays. I think it's such a great book to give to mom groups or to give to the teachers as a Christmas present. But what was your favorite chapter of the book that you wrote? For me, it was the one with Diane Bell when I was comparing winning a Sundance award to tandem nursing, my identical twins. That was my favorite because to tell that story, anyone, anyone that's attempted to nurse one baby. Yeah. Please just imagine what it's like to tandem nurse two and the award that all moms around the universe get for feeding their kids in any way that they decide is like, I mean, we need like golden whatever is out there. The Nobel Peace Prize. Let's give ourselves that. How about that?  I know. I think we don't give ourselves enough credit as moms. It's like, if we can do all these other things, why can't we be a BC-back company? Why can't we start our own? Store or jewelry line or whatever it is Like we've done amazing things and I think something happens along the way where we sell ourselves short a little bit But you're right I think looking back and being like these are great successes and I did all these things and I can do so much more Absolutely. Thank you so much. Lana. This has been amazing Congratulations. I'm so proud of you. I can't wait for everybody to read it. Good job. Thank you All right. We'll talk soon. Bye, Can I just say that the different women who interviewed me on book launch day are sensational. So I wanted just to leave you with this one point. If you feel like you would advise your child to go and take a risk or skip making a spaghetti dinner or, you know, do something for themselves when they had the option to do something for their family. And it might have not been a big deal for their family if we're honest about it. If you feel like you would have provided that suggestion, then do the same thing for yourself.  As you think about the holidays, there are so many things that you can do to make the holidays magic for your family, but why not consider doing something magical for yourself? And I want to just invite you to do that. So please help me out. Go ahead to amazon.com. Look up Fertile Imagination. I will put this in the show notes as well. And then if you're on your cell phone, you could just scroll down to write a review and write a review for Fertile Imagination. If you have yet to shop the book Fertile Imagination, then I wanna invite you to shop the book, shop the book, because it is a testament to both being a wonderful parent and also. Being totally excited by what you want to bring to the world, right? Having nothing to do with your family, but everything to do with your heart's desire. And I want us to really see more wonderful things out in the world. I think we can all use wonder right now. So I invite you to shop the book for yourself or shop the book for a mom who you believe in. You're literally telling her I believe in you by buying Fertile Imagination. So just head on over to Amazon.com shop the book and leave a review. We want to reach those 3 million a day moms shopping on Amazon so that they can see that fertile imagination is an option for them. Thank you so much and happy December.   

Welcome to Episode 206. We're going to talk with Laura Carney, my copyeditor, who is not herself a mom, but really understands what it's like to nurture big dreams. You're going to love this conversation. It happened on book launch day, and she actually helped me take this book to the finish line. So I'm very grateful to her. She wrote My Father's List. And you will love to see her investigative journalism skills at play.  If you love parties than please do say hi on Instagram which was where this party took place: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ Shop/gift/review - Fertile Imagination: https://amzn.to/3F6AgMu TRANSCRIPT I wanted to share something with you. You may not know this, but if you shopped the book, Fertile Imagination, and you enjoyed it, I would love to see your written Amazon review. The reason is that Amazon really does value whether a book has a hundred or more Amazon reviews. And what it'll do is it'll make it a suggested product. And it's so important in terms of being timely because every single day, there's about 3 million moms that might shop on Amazon. So imagine this, what if a mom is shopping for some sort of like really boring product, like batteries or something for her family, and she then notices that there's this book, Fertile Imagination, that might really help her rethink how she approaches The rest of the year or 2024. What if she got a suggestion from Amazon that Fertile Imagination might be the book that will help her feel like she's reconnected to her inner child? Let me read to you one review that says just that this reviews on Amazon right now for fertile imagination It says melissa demonstrates that motherhood doesn't have to mean hitting the brakes during your pre kid self Drawing from the wisdom of her podcast guests She urges us to dream big discover our passions and take practical steps towards our aspirations I love the fun imagination warmups in each chapter. They are such a great way to reconnect with your inner child. The reason why I say this is because when I had this conversation with Laura, I think it's so important for you to understand that although you might be listening to two women who are accomplished, who have published their books, At heart in terms of our deepest, deepest, deepest, deepest desires, oftentimes they came when we were just little girls. So really just imagine for yourself, what was on your heart when you were a child? What is left to actually bring to the world? How can you today really reimagine the way that you live your life, your role as a mom, so that you can apply some time to that dream and coming through for the little girl in you. Enjoy the conversation. I'm trying to just figure out all sorts of crazy things on book launch day, but I'm here with you and I'm so excited. And we're talking about fertile imagination with my father's list author.  This is so great. I'm so proud of you.  I'm proud of you, too. I think it's been a pretty accomplished year. I would say you're both of us  You're at the end though. I was listening to the video the final countdown and thinking about you  I swear like the hair the hair bands, right? Yeah. Yeah. I was resonating. I resonate with that. The final count.  I have, I have a few things up my sleeve still that I haven't shared yet. So a couple of things I'm still working on. It's not over yet.  Very cool. Very cool. How do you feel you're on day one,  right? It's like asking someone before a marathon, like, all right, start running.  I feel like I'm running on fumes. It's Halloween. So like my kids were like, today's a big day. And so one of them is like, it's Halloween. And the other one was like, mommy's book. And then the other one was like, I have to go to school. So  everybody has their own set of emotions. Mine is just like, maybe adrenaline. Like that's for sure. One of them. Just if that is an emotion, I don't even know. Yes, that's an emotion. Well, I have a few questions ready for you today. Go for it. But before I get started with that, one of the things I really wanted to tell your listeners is that this is a really good book. I mean, I have a copy of this book. I have read it, I don't know, 10 times, I think.  And it is, I, I never got tired of reading it. Like every time I read it, I found something new to enjoy in the chapters and would be like, Oh, this is amazing. I didn't even realize this part before. So I really wanted to put that out there. And Let's just start by maybe you can explain what you mean by a fertile imagination. It's the ability to cast a vision that is so big and may have never been accomplished by mom before But it fuels you it fuels you like you want to execute on that vision because you feel that either It'll change your life your family's life or even like just set up the next generation for success. So for me, that's Can't get more fertile than imaginative than that. I always wonder where the word fertile came from for you. Did that just hit you one day? Like, oh, it's, it's fertile. That's what I need to say. Is it because of being moms? Oh, yeah, that was it. It was, here's the whole thing. Like, I have identical twin boys. And so, like, jokingly, I, I'm like a fertile myrtle in that way. It's like, it was one of those like, knock you outside of consciousness surprise things in terms of identical twins, which are not like familial, like it's like serendipity. It's like magic. And so for me, I thought, let me just play with that. Let me play with this idea that it's. I'm hyper productive,  and I want to be sure that other moms, regardless of how they became moms, like adoptive moms, stepmoms, anyone that is nurturing and caring for someone feels that they can nurture and care for their own ideas, actually. And did you, I mean, I know for you, you were sort of gradually discovering that your imagination needed a wake up call, but do you think that that's, that was the case with a lot of moms that you were encountering? Like what, what was your initial catalyst for, for needing to turn all of your experiences and all of your wisdom into this book? Yeah. So being a coach for 12 years in the online space, and then in parallel figuring out how to be a mom. And then of course, like growing my family, like there were so many conversations I had with fellow working moms where I felt like I needed something else, like I needed like a jolt, like I would joke with people. I'd be like, I don't need coffee. I need crack.  I just, I just need like way more to kind of like lift off and soar and do what I want to do. And I felt like other moms felt the same way, but maybe they weren't as colorful in their language. So I was noticing that a lot of moms felt like they had these big ambitions for their kids. It's like my kid can do anything and when they grow up, I want them to be happy and all these. things. And I felt that at the moment of the pandemic, when I wrote the book, I was like, okay, right now, all that talk about our kids can really serve us moms or caregivers. It's kind of like, we need that jet pack. We need that engine to get through the stuff that's so heavy and hard, especially at that time. But also like, if you're an entrepreneur, if you're a writer, if you're a mom, it's like, there's so many hurdles. It's kind of like Indiana Jones and the temple of doom. And when he was like running and this boulder was coming after him, like that's like motherhood. That's also like writing a book. I'm sure with you like pitching your book, like that was not a walk in the park. That was like a run in a dungeon. So it's like, it's like you, you need something. And when I decided to write the book, I was like, okay, well, if I could write this out, first, I could express myself more clearly. Second of all, I could then figure out what I need to do. So sometimes we write. The book we need ourselves, right? I, I knew that when I was a little girl and even in college, for example, I remember thinking these big, big dreams. And I was like, and I want to go to like graduate school and I want to live in another country and I want to do this. And, and that spirit is what made me defy the odds. It made me do things even when I was exhausted, even when I had other family obligations. And I knew that moms and anyone who's caring for anyone needs more than what you might have on paper in order to, like, get through the moment and, and also learn from the moment. So that was important to me. One of the things I really loved about your book was the structure of it and the way you, you segmented all of your podcast guests and their wonderful wisdom into these three concrete sections. And I was wondering if maybe you could.  Without spoiling anything, if you could explain a little bit about how each of those sections came to be and what each of those sections means to you.  Yeah. So for me, the whole like waking up your imagination, I think there's like an inside sort of job and also like external environment. So there's three steps to optimizing your fertile imagination. And when you. First, kind of think to yourself, what is it that I need most in this moment? You have to recognize that your imagination wants to feel safe and also does not want to be ignored. Like if you are there a mom and you're just like busy and occupied and in your mind, you're like, man, I'd like to like add a little bit of laughter in this moment, but you ignore that then that thought will most likely not pop up as readily again. And so first you. Right. So first you want to step one, wake up your imagination, but you also want to let your imagination know that, and I'm ready to play, like, I'm not going to ignore you. So that's why like the first part of the book is about the inside job. It's about your internal environment. It's about your relationship with calling yourself creative, which for a lot of moms, funny enough, when I've asked. People who look creative to me, maybe I'm just making assumptions, but I'm like, wow, they have like a great haircut. They have an amazing shirt or style when I've told them, wow, you're creative. Like I've gotten like this look, like I have eight heads, like I'm not creative. And I'm like, gee, you look really creative to me. Like you have an amazing style. Right. So that's part one. It's about making sure you work on your relationship with creativity, the inside job, so that this way your creativity can feel like, okay, if I wake up. She's going to play with me. Then the second part is about playing with your imagination. And it's just like a muscle. Like if you're not working it out, it's going to not work anymore for you basically. Right. And so playing with your imagination, that's where I see innovation coming from. right now. So it's not just like being a mom and being like playful at home with your kids, although that's part of it. It's also about being very present in the moment and using your observation skills to seize opportunities. But it's also about innovating even in the place of work. Like right now, a lot of people are scared of AI. Well, the one way you could outpace.  is by using your imagination and going into categories that are unexpected and irrelevant, seemingly to your category and figuring out how to like almost cross pollinate really random ideas, James Altucher, who's in the book calls that ideas sex, but I, I digress. So,  so yeah, what are, of course he does. Of course he does. And we're talking about fertile imagination. So it all works out. So that's the second part, right? The second part is about  playing with your imagination, playing with ideas, being more playful in your life and the way that you run your life and how you think about yourself as like a mom or a woman or a partner. And then the third part is stretching your imagination. And so a lot of people, including someone that's like deep in a book. tour launch, you want to duplicate yourself. You wish you could like be in Seattle and be in Miami at the same time. Well, okay. That might not be the case, but duplicating yourself for me is stretching your imagination and seeing how you can enlist the help of other people. So like mobilizing your network and let's say you don't have a network. Making sure that on the inside, when you're by yourself, you're asking yourself really good questions. So I have someone that is really big into the Socratic method. And that's one way that you can keep yourself on track, right? In terms of a goal. So three parts, the book, the way that it was structured was meant so that. If you don't have time in the day to like go to the toilet by yourself, you can technically just look at a reflection question and just like think about it in a carpool to pick up your kid at school. And that's it. That's suffice to get you thinking outside and beyond of your everyday normal life.  That's great. Yeah. I mean, I think stretching was my favorite one because you just had so many sections where there's almost mantras for the lift for the reader to remember and just practice themselves in their daily lives. And I love how so much of it is about mindset to just so many of the amazing people you talk to. And I guess I was wondering if maybe you could talk a little bit about that too. How did you get all these incredible people on your podcast? Yeah, it's the interesting part is a lot of the books that I myself read, right? So like whether it's a book from Tony Robbins or Tim Ferriss or like all these books about personal growth and development, not to say that Tony Robbins was connected in the beginning, but obviously at this point he is with me. It's almost like I pretend that someone on TV is like a real human. It's like this very weird. Quirk, but I've done it since university level, right? In college as well. And what I've done is I've always expressed myself in a very authentic way. Right? So I'm not here to have someone like Susie Batiste, who I did interview my podcast.  I'm not here to be like, Oh, I want to sell something to you. Or can you invest in my business idea? I'm here because I want to get to know the story behind how you had the guts to declare bankruptcy two times, tell your kids, and then get back on the horse. And I'm going to be honest about my own perspective and we share some sort of commonalities from our history. And so when I would pitch a guest, whether it's Gary Vaynerchuk or James Altucher, Beth Comstock, I would always approach it from a. Position of authenticity. And as someone who was in career coaching for 12 years, and obviously networking is like the Holy grail of landing the opportunities that you desire, what I always found were two things, strategy one, I always like getting on the shortest line at a supermarket. And I think any mom, any human, unless you're weird, you like getting on the shortest line of a supermarket, right? And the shortest line tends to be like the social media channel where they don't have as many followers, for example, or like me, I literally went to James Altucher's comedy standup show. Like he's. Actual physical comedy club in New York city. Not a lot of people do that because they hide behind the screen, right? And tweet at him, but that made me approachable. And so I went to his house and I interviewed him and now he's in my book, right? And so with all of these things, what I'm saying is this get on the shortest line, number one. So do things that other people will not do. And if you're a mom, extra bonus points, because a lot of us say, That we never go out or we don't have time or we're too busy to network. And if you're a mom who does this, who goes buddy club or what have you, you really do stand out and these people notice like decision makers notice, but first be authentic and know your stuff. Like you got to know your stuff. So, okay. I have one, one last question. I know you have to go.  My last question is, I think the thing that really amazed me as I was reading your book is it seemed like. You found a way to get back in touch with your authentic creativity and your authentic self, and that it didn't take away from your being a mom. It actually probably made you a better mom, or at least made you feel more satisfied as a mom. And I can imagine a lot of moms might say that. Like, I, like, my first duty is being a mom, and I can't be distracted by pursuing my creativity and making my imagination fertile again. What advice would you have for moms like that, based on your own discoveries? Well, it's, it's interesting because let's say the mood of the house, right? So the mom is the barometer for the temperature, the mood of the house. As a little girl, I knew if my mom was happy. Like I knew it. I felt it. She didn't have to say it. And I also knew when she was pretending to be happy. Right. And so for me, I think as we have to give our kids so much more credit than we might, like we can't fake it. You might be able to fake it to get through a corporate boardroom. Right. You might be able to fake it to get through a job interview. You might be able to fake it in lots of scenarios, but with our children, I think at the same time, Cellular level, whether you're an adopted mama or step, you are the barometer. And so if you want your home to be a nice 76 degrees Fahrenheit, whatever that is in Celsius, then it behooves us to prioritize like our, our, our inside game, how we feel inside when we're real, like we have to be. Honest about it. And I think that's why it's a priority because if we are thinking that our kids somehow are going to figure things out That we have not figured out like somehow magically then I think that's a little bit of a miss Like I want my kids to be happy when they grow up. I want my kids to be successful when they grow up well I need to go first. I need to also show them what that looks like. It's not all sunshines and roses. There's falls, there's embarrassment, there's mistakes. And so my kids need to know that. Irrespective of that, I still persist and I still move on, and I don't think it takes away from my time with them. I think it's a lesson learned for them. I feel like it's also helping them in the future because I can say, Mommy did it, and so can you. And it's not just I'm saying it, I'm showing it. And I think it makes a difference. I love that.  Well, congrats, Melissa. So excited for you. And I just, I know this book's going to do so well.  I want to be sure that if you want the book, grab the book today. Let's make it a bestseller. Today's the day that we're all using our imagination for other people, for our kids, for the kids that we give candies out to. What if today was also the day that you can help a mom rediscover her own imagination? Wouldn't that be like amazing? Yeah, I think that's my husband who just tried none. He said, not a mom, but I can't wait to read the book. And that's a good point because I'm not a mom either, but I love this book. And this book is, is really the way you wrote it is great for everyone. Thank you so much, Laura. I think this has been, this is so fun. Gotta be, I gotta say, this is more fun than editing a book. I don't know. Maybe.  Yeah, it is,  but that's fulfilling too. Especially when it's a book as good as yours. Aw, thank you so much again. Okay, thank you. Good luck today. Happy Halloween. Thank you. Happy Halloween. Bye everyone.  Isn't Laura amazing? So I wanted to just share this one idea. In terms of how you might really think about being the barometer of your home. Really imagine to yourself how the mood of your house changes if you're having a really good day Or maybe you got some bad news. I want you to really take that seriously It's something that you can control the happier mom is the happier everyone else is as well And so think about that as the holidays draw near if you feel overwhelmed or you feel like, you know You're not gonna have the most perfect sort of wonderful dinner spread Don't worry about it. Really apply some levity and fun to the experience and the beautiful moment. Again, you're the barometer of the home. Please, if you did read Fertile Imagination or you purchased the book and you've gotten through a couple of chapters, feel free to write an Amazon review. It makes a really big difference. Every single day, there's about 3 million moms that go on amazon. com. And they are not yet seeing fertile imagination unless we've already hit the 100 mark that I don't know right now.  What I know is that with you taking two minutes to write two to three sentences about your impression of fertile imagination today, that means that tomorrow there'll be more moms that will see the book as a suggested product. And the book is all about believing in the mom who's actually Being a mom in the moment, right? Making sure her family has what it needs, and shopping from Amazon. Imagine if that message of I believe in you is part of why she is on Amazon. What if she actually then purchases the book and on her heart, she wants to make a big impact and somehow it affects you in your own local community. You never know. Or what if that mom is you? What if you have a desire on your heart and you have yet to shop the book? So head on to Amazon. You can do it right on your cell phone. If you shop the book, please write the Amazon review. It really helps with sharing the book with more moms. And if you haven't just yet, feel free to shop the book. A lot of individuals have gotten a lot of value out of it. And as Laura said, she's not a mom. And in her opinion, she also was able to get a lot of insights from the book that she could activate in her own life. Thank you. 

In this episode, Cara welcomes Melissa Llarena, who is on a mission to help encourage, embolden, and empower moms by teaching them how to reawaken the power of their imagination and apply a more playful approach to navigating life's hurdles. Melissa is a mom of three, brings a decade of experience working for Fortune top 50 brands and has over a decade as a solopreneur. Melissa's latest book Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact is now available on Amazon. Be sure to follow her on Instagram too! Join the free, private Virtual Village community of like-minded conscious, collaborative mamas here. We'll transform the toddler years together! About Your Host: Cara Tyrrell, M.Ed is a Vermont-based Early Childhood Educator, Conscious Parenting Coach, and the founder of Core4Parenting. She is the passionate mastermind behind the Collaborative Parenting Methodology(™), a birth-to-five, soul and science-based framework that empowers parents to maximize their child's early learning while raising fantastic human beings who succeed in school and life. While teaching preschool and Kindergarten, she noticed her students knew their ABC's and 123's, but struggled with their social, emotional, and interpersonal skills. At drop-off, parents would say, “We're so glad that you are their first teacher”, but she knew she wasn't -- their parents were! This realization led to her professional pivot as an online Early Childhood Parent Educator and Coach.  Cara has embraced her role as a thought leader and fierce advocate for Pandemic parents raising the COVID Generation (GEN-C). Through keynotes, teacher training, and her podcast, Transforming the Toddler Years, she's teaching the 5 Executive Functioning Skills kids need to navigate our ever-changing world. Cara holds degrees in American Sign Language (ASL) and Linguistics and a Master's degree in Education. She lives in southern Vermont with her two nearly grown-and-flown daughters and a husband who is her biggest cheerleader. Ready to raise world-ready kids who change the world? Visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.caratyrrell.com/bio to begin your Collaborative Parenting journey! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/core4parenting/message

In this exciting new episode of The Career Confidante, your host Marie Zimenoff welcomes guest Melissa Llarena, an accomplished author, entrepreneur, and advocate for working moms. We'll explore the concept of a fertile imagination and how it can empower working moms to find confidence, flexibility, and joy in their lives. Melissa's new book, Fertile Imagination, is a game-changer for entrepreneurial moms who want to pursue their dreams while balancing motherhood. She shares tips to chart your path into entrepreneurship, career advancement, or intrapreneurship, breaking free from conventional expectations. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that will challenge your perspective on motherhood and career. Join us as we explore the limitless possibilities of a fertile imagination to unlock your true potential as a working mom and bridge your childhood daydreams with your grown-up realities. Don't miss this episode of The Career Confidante for an empowering dose of inspiration!

In this exciting new episode of The Career Confidante, your host Marie Zimenoff welcomes guest Melissa Llarena, an accomplished author, entrepreneur, and advocate for working moms. We'll explore the concept of a fertile imagination and how it can empower working moms to find confidence, flexibility, and joy in their lives. Melissa's new book, Fertile Imagination, is a game-changer for entrepreneurial moms who want to pursue their dreams while balancing motherhood. She shares tips to chart your path into entrepreneurship, career advancement, or intrapreneurship, breaking free from conventional expectations. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that will challenge your perspective on motherhood and career. Join us as we explore the limitless possibilities of a fertile imagination to unlock your true potential as a working mom and bridge your childhood daydreams with your grown-up realities. Don't miss this episode of The Career Confidante for an empowering dose of inspiration!

On today's episode, we're joined by creativity coach and podcaster Melissa Llarena. Melissa discusses her mission to empower working moms through her book "Fertile Imagination" and podcast "Unimaginable Wellness." She shares how she developed the concept of "fertile imagination" and some big names she's interviewed. Melissa also offers insight into waking up your imagination when it's feeling dormant. Plus, she recalls a piece of memorable life advice involving intergenerational connections. Tune in to learn Melissa's techniques for tapping into your imagination and living an unimaginable life.   Here are the key points of our conversation: - Melissa's mission is to ensure that every working mom doesn't feel left out of the world of business and commerce. - Her podcast, Unimaginable Wellness, explores creativity, imagination, and wellness via interviews with entrepreneurs, creators, and founders including Gary Vee, Beth Comstock, and David Roberts. - The book, Fertile Imagination: Every Mom's Superpower, focuses on three stages to optimize your imagination and is not just for moms but anyone looking to boost their creative thinking abilities. - The ability to use one's imagination is a critical component of finding joy in life and business.   Melissa Llarena is an author, imagination coach, consultant, speaker, contributor to ForbesWomen articles that have garnered 4 million+ views, and the host of Unimaginable Wellness, the podcast for entrepreneurs, founders, and creators who are moms. Featured guests include GaryVee and Beth Comstock. She holds a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate and is training to become a meditation practitioner. Melissa lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and three sons. Visit www.fertileideas.com for a 5-day imagination to impact challenge, quiz, and for more goodies for moms.   Connect with Melissa: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissallarena/ Website: www.fertileideas.com Book: https://www.amazon.com/Fertile-Imagination-Stretching-Superpower-Maximum-ebook/dp/B0CJGTZ9MJ/ref=sr_1_11?keywords=Melissa+Llarena&qid=1695746846&sr=8-11 Podcast: https://www.melissallarena.com/podcast/   Book release date is October 31, 2023! Want a jet engine to deliver on your dreams? Check out the book: Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact   Connect with Allison: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/allisonsummerschicago/ Website: DisruptiveCEONation.com Twitter: @DisruptiveCEO  #digitalmarketing #branding #socialgood #Bcorp #CEO #startup #startupstory #founder #business #businesspodcast #podcast         Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to episode 201! On October 31, I am offering the Kindle version of my book Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact for only 99 cents on Halloween. If you love a sale and want to be the first to be notified of when to shop, then sign up on www.fertileideas.com. In this episode, for any mom who doesn't have time to read books, I will read to you what a mom in the thick of it with a toddler, a baby, limited childcare living as an expat and an online business has to say about the book, and what a great grandmother who has been visiting her grand-baby in the NICU for 110 days wanted to share with you too. In this episode, I will also share with you precisely for whom this book is for... strap on your seatbelt, get ready for a high-octane mini-episode because in 7 days, we're about to birth a book! Say hi: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ About the book: A fertile imagination can cast a powerful and compelling vision that will drive you to turn it into your reality, even if it's never been imagined as possible for mothers before. In this book, I feature my insights along with those of 25 highly imaginative guests, culminating with the CEO of GivingTuesday, Asha Curran, as a case study of using a fertile imagination to its maximum. To call "Fertile Imagination" a book is perhaps the wrong term to use. It's a call to action, encouraging us to break free from the self-imposed limitations we put on ourselves and seize the vast potential that lies beyond our current view. It's a roadmap for readers to reconnect with their inner creativity. It encourages us to think beyond what we've been conditioned to believe about our limitations, to overcome impostor syndrome, and to break free from feeling stuck. Needless to say, "Fertile Imagination" is a must-read for any mother who has ever asked herself, "What if I want more?". It's a testament to the fact that you can be an incredible parent and still pursue your dreams. Jenna Davis, Founder of Life in Germany: Fertile Imagination is a virtual powerhouse of real-life scenarios that will help any woman (Moms especially) navigate today's workplace. I wish I had been given this kind of access to smart women back in the 70s when I was raising my boys as a single mother. Kathy Ryan, Retired Managing Director Global Operations Ogilvy Worldwide: Hearing from moms like you has turned Fertile Imagination into a rally cry….a decisive call to action to let go of what's stopping you and re-engage everything you've got to drive really change forward….and as I thought about this…I came up with this….this book is from my heart to you. To the moms who were denied their right to mat leave To the moms whose birth plans were ripped to shreds To the moms who are still in the trenches pumping themselves with hormones to have a child To the moms who have twins who were pushed to get c-sections To the moms who wanted vbacs and were hijacked of their dream To the moms who feed their babies formula and who are made to feel like shit for doing so To the moms who have degrees up the wazoo and opted out to raise humans To the moms who have ever felt insecure or no longer important in the eyes of society To the moms who were treated inhumanely during the pandemic when childcare was off the table To the moms who own patents To the moms who are at the helm of leadership of world-class organizations To the moms who rather climbs mountains than stay in the valley of hellish experiences on any given day To the moms who can't To the moms who can To the moms who were elected into government positions To the moms who hold Emmys or Sundance awards To the moms who built million or billion dollar brands while being a mom To the moms who cared for a sick child or beat their own illnesses to continue being a mom To the moms who are unafraid to get into colosseums as if they too were a gladiator To the moms who mom alone To the moms who have had enough To the moms who want more To the moms who have finally figured it out and want to get ready to take matters into their own hands **I want to hear from you! I'll be on Instagram on 10/31 and if you are not yet following me there, then pause this episode and do that today. Do that now. https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ About Melissa Melissa Llarena is an author, imagination coach, consultant, speaker, and contributor to ForbesWomen articles that have garnered 4 million + views. She is also the host of Unimaginable Wellness, the podcast for entrepreneurs, founders, and creators who are also moms. Featured guests include GaryVee and Beth Comstock. Melissa holds a psychology degree from New York University, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate. She is training to become a meditation practitioner. Melissa lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and three sons. Visit www.fertileideas.com.

Melissa Llarena is an author, imagination coach, consultant, speaker, contributor to ForbesWomen articles that have garnered 4 million+ views, and the host of Unimaginable Wellness, the podcast for entrepreneurs, founders, and creators who are moms. Featured guests include GaryVee and Beth Comstock. She holds a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate and is training to become a meditation practitioner. In this episode we talk about her career journey working in a corporate setting as early as age 17 years old. Melissa had a curious mindset and decided to explore different options during her career. She decided to pursue unconventational paths that lead her to the creative field. Melissa became a mom and felt a calling to do something differently. She made a choice to carve her own path as a coach. Including living in Australia before the pandemic. During Covid, Melissa fully immersed herself into writing her book Fertile Imagination which is launching on October 31, 2023.  Dedicated to moms to go after what they really want. Melissa lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and three sons. Visit www.fertileideas.com for a 5-day imagination to impact challenge, quiz, and for more goodies for moms.

Barbara Barna Abel is a multimedia communications coach, creative advisor, talent and executive development expert and will teach you how to craft an incredible presentation or speech, how to weave personal stories into a speech and how to express yourself authentically. Plus, she shares her story of building her own communications business.  Barbara's credits include Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, What Not to Wear, the RuPaul Show, and is the author of How to Get Your Foot In the Door: Television Hosting and Presenting.  Then, coach Melissa Llarena has tips for getting over imposter syndrome if you have a podcast. She just published the book Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact; she is a coach, podcast host of Unimaginable Wellness bring tips  Did you love today's episode? 1. Take a screenshot and share it to your IG stories. Tag me @kimrittberg 2. Leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! LINKS: -BONUS DOWNLOAD: 5 Tips to Shine on Camera click here -Follow host Kim Rittberg on Instagram & Subscribe to Kim's YouTube Channel to Make Better Videos that Convert -Barbara Barns Abel's company & Podcast

Welcome to Episode 200, this HUGE announcement feels like the perfect culmination of the Unimaginable Wellness podcast. If you'd like to follow my book launch journey then let's connect on Instagram too!  https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ This is what's coming up on October 31, 2023 and what you can expect from my debut book….Fertile Imagination the link to sign-up today to be the first notified of when it goes on sale is www.fertileideas.com --- be sure to sign-up today to ensure you are the first to be notified about the discounted Kindle version sale on October 31. Fertile Imagination book kindle version available on October 31 for only 99 cents on that day open. Get on the list to not miss out! Oh, I can't wait….here goes nothing… Welcome to the world my debut book, Fertile Imagination, a guide to stretching every mom's superpower for maximum impact. It's time for every mom, including you, to take your place on the world's stage. So how are you going to do this? You ask? Well, you're going to learn how to use one of the most versatile yet highly underutilized superpowers your fertile imagination. What is a fertile imagination? It has the ability to cast a big vision even if it's never been done by mom before. My 25 most Imaginative podcast guests are going to teach you everything that we know on how to use it so that you can begin to put it to good use. So what will you learn in this book? Well, there's three stages to actually optimize your fertile imagination for maximum impact. The first step is waking up your imagination. And we're going to start by helping you rebuild your self trust, helping you find the courage you need to start calling yourself a creative and learning where you're going to find that energy to actually make big changes in your life. The second stage is about playing with your imagination. So you have permission to actually play weird as weird as you wish. And rather than trying to overcome impostor syndrome, you're going to start using it as an asset. The third stage is about stretching your imagination. So whether you want to lead a global movement and bring in 1. 5 billion of donations in one day, or impact a billion people over the course of your life. This book has you covered, but if these goals sound too outlandish then don't worry because I will be right there by your side in the pages of the book and I'll help you reimagine how you can tailor them. The book's insights to the realities of mom life you and me with our reheated coffees. This book fertile imagination is my invitation to you. It's to reclaim this power and to no longer need anyone's validation or reassurance to step outside of your comfort zone. It's also an opportunity for you to go on a quest to rediscover your imagination. It's a resource that treats you like a smart cookie. It's written by me, Melissa, a mom of three little boys, who after 12 years of motherhood and entrepreneurship has come to the realization that sometimes you have to make unreasonable requests just to get what you really, really want. This book is your jet engine and it includes my successes as well as my mistakes. It kind of reads like a personal diary written by a mom who tells it like it is. So what is fertile imagination really about? It's about learning how to swim against the current. It's about going first and showing our kids that they too can live out their dreams, but not just because you told them so, but because mommy did it. The book is called Fertile Imagination, a guide for stretching every mom's super powerful maximum impact. Get on the email list right now, www.fertileideas.com, grab a free chapter while you're at it. Because on October 31st, this book is going to be available in its Kindle format for only 99 cents for that one day only. So I want to be sure that you get in on that deal. Thank you again and run to www.fertileideas. com. Signing off, Melissa Llarena

Do you know what YOUR "momscript" is? Are you simply following a script that has been handed down for generations? Or are you living your most authentic life, both at home and at work? If you're looking for a llittle help in this department, listen up! In this episode of Lifeyness, host Sarah Clarke speaks with Melissa Llarena, author of the new book Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact. Today we talk about how to be playful, imaginative, and successful, both in your career and in your family. Here are some key points: How Melissa worked to retain her pre-parent identity after having kids, playing a “mental game” to keep life feeling un-mom-like Melissa's 3-step Imagination to Impact Method for rediscovering your sense of wonder and playfulness as a parent Ways moms can “wake up” their imagination again and rebuild trust in their creative side The power of play for bonding with your kids and unleashing the inner child in yourself Stretching your imagination to make a difference and share your vision with others Melissa's outlook on learning from those outside the typical mom sphere to expand perspectives Overcoming “inherited motherhood scripts” that feel inauthentic to who you really are Embracing your quirks and giving yourself permission to explore weird ideas Finding fulfillment as a parent by nurturing your passions and gifts The influence moms can have on kids by pursuing their own creativity and purpose Quotes: “Your imagination does not like to be ignored, pushed down or said you're not cool.” “There's something to just finding that thing...that tickles you, whatever that means to you.” “Why not give this a chance? What's the worst that's gonna happen? You're gonna stub your toe ‘cause you were dancing like a wild person?” "The more you [use your imagination], the better a mom you are." Mentioned in this episode: Fertile Imagination by Melissa Llarena Unimaginable Wellness podcast The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron Connect with Melissa: Website: www.fertileideas.com Instagram: @melissallarena More about today's guest: An online entrepreneur since 2011, Melissa Llarena launched her business in parallel to becoming a mom the first time around. One set of identical twins later, Melissa brings a decade of experience working for Fortune top-50 brands and over another decade as a solopreneur. She holds a psychology degree from New York University and an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate based on Tony Robbins's principles and Landmark Education insights. She's becoming a meditation practitioner, enrolled in The Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program with Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield. Her perspective has also been influenced by having lived for three years in Sydney, Australia, as an ex-pat family, and prior to motherhood, she worked and lived in NYC, London, and Paris. You can read her story “Imagine A Better Way” (Woodhall Press, 2023) in the anthology Fast Fallen Women. Melissa currently lives in Austin, Texas.  Visit www.fertileideas.comfor resources (including a free book chapter) and speaking opportunities.        Music Credit: William Claeson, "Song for a New Beginning"

Melissa is an author, podcast host and mama to three boys. She's with us to share all about the journey to writing and publishing her upcoming book, "Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact." A fertile imagination is the perfect kryptonite for impostor syndrome and feeling stuck when it's alert! In this unexpected and playful book for every mom, you will awaken this sleeping source of creative solutions. Find Melissa on LinkedIn Connect with Melissa on Instagram Website: www.fertileideas.com - and do her Five Days to Impact Challenge _______________________________ Nip Gloss by kozēkozē is ON SALE NOW!! Use Code: THANKYOU20 for 20% off today! Sign-up for the kozēkozē newsletter ⁠here.⁠ Sign-Up for the FREE Supermama Support Circle for Working Mamas Connect with our host on IG: @garrettnwood Follow kozēkozē on IG: @kozekozemama Podcast Instagram for details on past guests: @kozekozepodcast Follow Garrett on TikTok: @kozekozemama If you like Garrett's voice, check out her meditations here. email garrett: garrettkusmierz@kozekoze.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kozekoze/message

In this exciting new episode of The Career Confidante, your host Marie Zimenoff welcomes guest Melissa Llarena, an accomplished author, entrepreneur, and advocate for working moms. We'll explore the concept of a fertile imagination and how it can empower working moms to find confidence, flexibility, and joy in their lives. Melissa's new book, Fertile Imagination, is a game-changer for entrepreneurial moms who want to pursue their dreams while balancing motherhood. She shares tips to chart your path into entrepreneurship, career advancement, or intrapreneurship, breaking free from conventional expectations. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that will challenge your perspective on motherhood and career. Join us as we explore the limitless possibilities of a fertile imagination to unlock your true potential as a working mom and bridge your childhood daydreams with your grown-up realities. Don't miss this episode of The Career Confidante for an empowering dose of inspiration!

In this exciting new episode of The Career Confidante, your host Marie Zimenoff welcomes guest Melissa Llarena, an accomplished author, entrepreneur, and advocate for working moms. We'll explore the concept of a fertile imagination and how it can empower working moms to find confidence, flexibility, and joy in their lives. Melissa's new book, Fertile Imagination, is a game-changer for entrepreneurial moms who want to pursue their dreams while balancing motherhood. She shares tips to chart your path into entrepreneurship, career advancement, or intrapreneurship, breaking free from conventional expectations. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that will challenge your perspective on motherhood and career. Join us as we explore the limitless possibilities of a fertile imagination to unlock your true potential as a working mom and bridge your childhood daydreams with your grown-up realities. Don't miss this episode of The Career Confidante for an empowering dose of inspiration!

You left a conventional career to create your own entrepreneurial path. It's part of your goal to be around and stay flexible enough to be present with your kids and to raise them yourself as the primary caregiver.   So you are at this crossroads at the beginning of your freelancing, coaching, and services business and you've been bombarded with things to do.   Your mental load today would require more than a Tonka truck to unload and in the Fall your kids will be in school full-time. However, even then your kids are on your mind and obviously in your heart. So how are you going to do this? Where do you start?   Is there a way to avoid the mom guilt? Are there boundaries you can build now to put your best ideas out there without imploded from overwhelm? Will you have to miss sleep to squeeze in your hopes and dreams?   Do you have more questions about how to approach your entrepreneurial journey and mom life than answers?   Remember, missing out on your kid's school-age journey is NOT why you intended when you left a conventional career.   In comes, the 21-day imagination to impact challenge.   Sign-up: https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas   *It's free this summer of 2023.   It's specifically, for you if you have a school-aged child or kids all the way through middle school. A mom who wants to get ahead of the pull of the world to build big, fast, and continuously. It's for you if you rather secure your emotional well-being and that of your family along the way to your dreams. Imagine that? You pursuing your best ideas and tightening the bond between you and your kids. Imagine you working on your dreams side-by-side with your kids.   As a coach for over 12 years, I can't say I've seen any such challenge where I could BOTH clarify my next business offer or service and engage with my three sons who are 9,9, and 12 (yes, one year I birthed identical twins) in a meaningful way. NONE.   So I created my own because I launched my business 12 years ago with my firstborn strapped to my chest. I left advertising for the flexibility to watch my son(s) grow. The key to my success has been through the use of my fertile imagination. Watch this space for my book coming out in October! Throughout the last decade, I've been able to teach them entrepreneurial skills along the way and navigate my mental health along the way. In this challenge, you will immerse yourself in the same experiences that I leveraged to truly integrate my life and work in a sustainable way. I want the same for EVERY mom, especially you.   Sign-up for free this summer for the 21-day imagination to impact challenge to discover your next big idea and uncover your child's interests along the way through a series of mini-adventures proven to reawaken, play with, and stretch your family's fertile imagination.   Sign-up: https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas   This 21-day imagination-to-impact challenge is inspired by my upcoming book entitled: Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact - you do not need to have read the book to benefit from this challenge today...because I'll email you daily exercises, meditations, and explanations every day that will be so easy a fourth-grader can follow along (and in some instances, they'll be asked to).   This challenge is designed to help you:   -Rediscover who you are and reconnect with your fertile imagination to begin applying tools from the book   -Explore how you want to use your newfound playmate to make an impact based on how you want to feel and of course market opportunities.   -Stretch your thinking about what's possible in life by joining forces with your little imagination experts at home so they can tap into their undiscovered interests too.   Sign-up: https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas   Join this challenge if you:    -Want to lay the groundwork for a coaching, freelancing, creator online business that takes into account your school-age child(ren)'s needs   -Rather avoid mom guilt or feeling anxious about the childcare costs that can pile up while building your business because I'll teach you some things that can be done BEST with them by your side   -Want a guide who gets your priorities to uncover one fertile entrepreneurial idea (a fertile idea is a big idea that can grow along with your family's ever-changing needs)   -Wish to use your entrepreneurial journey as a path to teaching your kids key lessons and also expanding what's possible for them   -Want to create opportunities to see the wonder in your kid's eyes as they explore their interests and watch you explore yours   -Brighten up the mood of your house with playfulness which is a page straight from my book   Most importantly, you'll also want to join the Imagination to Impact 21-Day Challenge (valued at $49, yours for free for now) to reawaken, play with, and stretch your imagination to uncover your next big fertile idea. This is where to start to experience first-hand what using your fertile imagination can look like in your daily life with your kids.   Sign-up: https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas   Who is your Imagination Guide?   Hi there! I'm Melissa Llarena. I'd love to be your guide. Yes, I have oodles of credentials: a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate, and my upcoming certification as a meditation practitioner. HOWEVER, my imagination grew out of a need to survive as a daughter to a single mom with Manic Depression and a choice to thrive and pursue impossible dreams when I became a mom. As a mom who now lives in Austin, TX with her husband and three sons (identical twins in that mix), I thought I lost my imagination! Yet, I hadn't. It was just hibernating until I enlisted my sons to help me wake it up. It turns out their experts. Did you realize that? You have master imagination experts under your nose! You might even be cleaning their nose! This 21-day challenge is a series of doable mom and child adventures that I personally went on with my three sons, where I reconnected with my fertile imagination "my ultimate business advantage and so can you!   Share this episode with a new entrepreneur, creator, or founder who has school-age kids (5 through middle school) and wants to be a mom first and a business owner second without missing these early precious years but still positioning her new business to make a maximum impact with her skills.    Subscribe and Review   Have you subscribed to my podcast for new moms who are entrepreneurs, founders, and creators?  I'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.    https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unimaginable-wellness-for-new-moms-who-are-founders/id1308269140?app=podcast&mt=2   I'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast for writer moms.    Book Launch Fall 2023! Join the Collective Of Moms Who Seek More Imaginative Solutions For Maximum Impact While Inspiring Their Kids To Do The Same   Introducing: Fertile Imagination: A Guide For Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact – Get on the list and grab your FREE Chapter today: https://www.melissallarena.com/waitlist   Join the waitlist for Fertile Imagination to be the first to   See the book cover and vote on your favorite Get a sneak peek at the behind-the-scenes book-writing process Join my Imagination to Impact 21-Day challenge first to bring my three-stage method of reawakening your imagination, playing with your imagination, and stretching your imagination to your daily life and see what using your fertile imagination can look like and how this can turn around your relationship with your kids too – https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/b887cf40e2 Learn first-hand about playful and fun book launch events (online and offline) Snag a FREE chapter today and start your journey towards becoming the fun parent through a series of imagination warm-ups created for the most ambitious moms who feel like they lost a big piece of themselves (along with their placentas – literally or figuratively) – for the FREE chapter go to: http://www.melissallarena.com/waitlist Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to my podcast for new moms who are entrepreneurs, founders, and creators?  I'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unimaginable-wellness-for-new-moms-who-are-founders/id1308269140?app=podcast&mt=2   I'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast for writer moms.  Book Launch Fall 2023! Join the Collective Of Moms Who Seek More Imaginative Solutions For Maximum Impact While Inspiring Their Kids To Do The Same Introducing: Fertile Imagination: A Guide For Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact – Get on the list and grab your FREE Chapter today: https://www.melissallarena.com/waitlist  Join the waitlist for Fertile Imagination to be the first to See the book cover and vote on your favorite Get a sneak peek at the behind-the-scenes book-writing process Join my Imagination to Impact 21-Day challenge first to bring my three-stage method of reawakening your imagination, playing with your imagination, and stretching your imagination to your daily life and see what using your fertile imagination can look like and how this can turn around your relationship with your kids too – https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/b887cf40e2 Learn first-hand about playful and fun book launch events (online and offline) Snag a FREE chapter today and start your journey towards becoming the fun parent through a series of imagination warm-ups created for the most ambitious moms who feel like they lost a big piece of themselves (along with their placentas – literally or figuratively) – for the FREE chapter go to: http://www.melissallarena.com/waitlist Praise For Fertile Imagination Both book participants and podcast guests are featured below Melissa is an inspiring display of tenacity and motivation. Whenever you're feeling stuck, peruse Melissa's thoughtfully compiled tips and exercises and you'll be creating magic in no time.” – Suzy Batiz, Chief Executive and Visionary Officer, ~Pourri, The Makers of Poo~Pourri, supernatural, Alive OS®. “Melissa's words are authentic and important. She is a great listener and now shares reality-based strategies for imagining your own imperfect, fulfilling life.” – Martha Hennessey, Former New Hampshire State Senator / House of Representative “This is the book for a mom who wants a second jet engine to embark on her own journey from thinking she will have to wait another lifetime to dream big to knowing she can take steps right now to uncover and do what she would find more fulfilling at this life stage. Melissa writes both intimately and conversationally about topics that many moms around the world can relate to (some dads too). She invites the reader into a personal and deep journey about topics that are crucially important to uncover what would make a mom truly happy to work on…even after the kids are in bed. It was an honor and a pleasure to speak with her for an interview, which she has included excerpts of in this book, too!” – Ken Honda, Japan's best selling zen millionaire, author of Happy Money: The Japanese Art of Making Peace with Your Money Moms like us with big dreams and school-age kids: For moms like me, the pandemic was an opportunity to re-evaluate and course-correct things in our lives we weren't thrilled with. Coming out of this period, sluggish yet motivated, so many of us can use this book to help us wake up! If you're looking to refresh, reenergize, and yes, reimagine a better version of your life, this book is for you. I loved the hilarious, yet poignant stories about motherhood today and the window into the world of those who've gone for it – and did it. – Macollvie Neel, Brooklyn, NY “The words: imagination, play and fun are not the usual things we as mothers think of when wondering how to get a grip back on our career and I believe it provides a really fresh take and lots of food for thought for mothers reading it. Its tone is so energetic and fresh!” – Alejandra Molina, Coach, Miami, Florida “Melissa is a mom of three with big dreams who tells it like it is. She draws on her own experiences and the experiences of professionals she's interviewed for her podcast to reflect on the plight of the mother. How do women conform to or challenge the traditional “mom script”? If you're a mom, what can you do to break the “cultural glass ceiling” to be yourself and a great parent, all without having to force yourself into a mom mold that doesn't fit you? Melissa is like a great friend, honest and wise and funny, telling you about her life and asking you to reflect on yours. This book is a great purchase for moms in every stage of life.” – Maureen Turner Carey, Librarian, Austin, Texas “In her book, Melissa shows us that motherhood does not have to be a pause or an end to your pre-child self. With guidance from her podcast guests, she encourages us to think big, find what lights us up, think big, and move towards our goals with the steps that fit the reality of our lives as they are today. In doing so we honor and inspire our child(ren), and our own inner child.” – Katherine Dzierzynski, Museum Group Sales, Forest Hills, NY 

In a solo episode, Stephanie reflects on her 30s and how the Ick, that feeling of things not being right, presented in her life. Reflections: my 30s and the IckI've been talking a lot about the Ick that people feel in their 30s or 40s and recently started reflecting on my 30s and how the Ick presented to me. I took a page out of my previous guest Melissa's book and mapped out the decade's highlights so I could see a clearer picture. Listen to Melissa Llarena's episode here.My own Ick mostly showed up in my romantic relationships and at work (isn't that enough?

This is episode 170. I'm your host Melissa Llarena. I've been attending SXSW out here in Austin,TX and also volunteering on the Comedy Crew team these last days and weeks. I decided to tune into topics that hovered around imagination + wellness + women and here's what I realized about what was being discussed vs. not being discussed in these three buckets: Wellness - stigma, sector-specific nuances, and what's in our locus of control vs. not – Xanax (more mental wellness was discussed than physical and nutritional wellness) Imagination - The band New Order really made it clear that their educational experiences were not really invested in the use of their imagination. Makes me wonder if ours has evolved. I also say this having attended some SXSW EDU events the week prior. Women - Black women. Corporate working women. Startup women. The conversation about being a mom was covered but driven more by the panelists as an afterthought OR to cover medical procedures to freeze eggs. Again, I didn't go to all talks BUT I did see the list of events every single day and I can't say there were many discussions where motherhood or being a mom was the headline. I wish there were more talks relevant to moms. How's that SXSW relevant? Don't we deserve technology, music, and film relevant to our lives as moms? Am I the only person thinking that when a movie is directed by a working mom with a kid in toe she should get extra credit for that Herculean effort? Perhaps, I can change that in 2024. TBD. Now, why are these ideas important to you a mom who wants to create her desired form of art from a company to a book or screenplay? There are panel picker polls out there that signify what will be popular or what is on the mind of SXSW attendees. The panelists, topics, themes as chosen by the people. So why aren't more people interested in innovation to help us moms become better moms? Where are the mom movies? I mean I did see Furies about a mom who was hella pissed about her family being killed and it showed how maniacal we can get if someone touches our babies but I'm not sure if any other films talked about motherhood or were put together by moms. What if we could pull out our mom identity and use that alongside our workplace identity? Imagine how many conversations this fact when placed on a badge could strike up? What are our role + sector-specific insights? I sat on a mental health talk related to artists who go on the road BUT what about pulling out the ones who do so with kids? It feels like the roles we get “credit for” are ones that guys can have too in top-tier festivals…but as moms, we are always playing the mom role and the job-related-role. These roles are what impact our wellness uniquely, stretch our imagination quite a bit, and in my own life…has been a bonus to being a woman…I get to choose if I want to play the role of a mom. Why can't that role be held in as high of a regard as the global head of design for a credit card company? I'd co-sign the same deal for dads too. What about mental health for working moms? For start-up moms? For moms in tech? For moms who are veterinarians? What about imagination as represented by mom directors? What about mom screenwriters? What of mom talent agents?   What about calling out working moms on stage and on name tags saying you are a mom. You can opt-in but why not have our mom titles alongside our professional titles? So this week has been bonkers! I've learned a lot and I'm so ready to return to my consistent meditation practice! Any other tired or uncentered or scatterbrained moms out there? P.S. I was you these last two weeks working and attending SXSW. I see you! I love you. Let's be compassionate to each other.... If this resonates then YOU are so invited to grab a FREE gift of 12 mediation prompts specifically tailored for moms!  You are also invited to participate in my FREE webinar for moms who want to get back to meditation and be consistent about it now that they are a mom. How do you grab these freebies? Head to: https://bit.ly/mindmom Restart your meditation practice after becoming a mom. Learn the exact process that meditation practitioner and mom to three young boys, Melissa Llarena, follows to have a consistent meditation practice despite no longer having privacy, time, or a meditation closet. You will walk away with a step-by-step approach for designing your own ritual, meditating even if your child is present, and ensuring you get that much-needed time to yourself. Live Webinar March 26, 2023 8:00am Central Time (45-minute free online mom webinar) Includes: -Free meditation prompts (get centered in two minutes or fewer) - you get this when signing up real-time! -Free new mom practical meditation ritual ideas - show up to class and you shall have these -30 minute Q&A with Melissa - be there live and ask me anything -Invite to prelaunch online book party celebrating mothers whose hearts can hold both their dreams alongside the dreams they have for their children. NEW BOOK! DOWNLOAD FIVE JOURNAL PROMPTS + A WACKY TRUE STORY FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK MOM LIFE RESCRIPTED TO GET YOU STARTED ON ADDING MORE PLAYFULNESS INTO YOUR LIFE https://www.melissallarena.com/waitlist/  

How to restart your meditation practice now as a new mom or mom to school-age kids (be sure to sign-up for a LIVE and FREE mom-friendly meditation session too!) This is episode 168. I'm your host Melissa Llarena. Last week I participated in a 6-day silent retreat at home. My three sons are 9,9, and 11. I am also married. I'll let you in on my inner thoughts during that time when all I could do was write post-its to communicate with the world. I want to also let you off the hook my fellow mom who doesn't have a meditation pillow, time to think on her toilet alone, or a clue how to stay put for 45 minutes without falling asleep. My focus in this snack bite episode will be on one new mom who also participated in this silent retreat and what I heard from someone who once did have all of that stuff and time to meditate like a well-rested 20-year-old goddess.   I felt embarrassed telling people I was doing a silent meditation – trader joe's I felt like I had to cover my ass and tell them I was still doing mom things – responded to my beta readers….it was not a vacation I felt like I was going against the narrative that as a mom to three, I should be knee-deep in dirty laundry and it should be impossible for me to have zen moments but the truth is... I wasn't the only mom with kids in her area on that silent retreat Let's pull out one very specific example: 1) There was a sleepless new mom with a baby…she wanted to know if she was doing it right or what to do….in that Zombie state 2) Then there's that former 20-year-old…she hadn't considered that the bar was too freakin high. You could meditate in a shower. You can meditate at the supermarket. You can meditate with your babies in their bedrooms. So here is a specific action step you can take today to start realizing the benefits of meditating as a mom…. Lower the standard of what meditating should or must look like Find a way to introduce a heightened sense of awareness to an everyday activity that you do right now Brushing your teeth Making coffee Nursing Use that slice of time to pay attention to your breathe OR Use that time to tell yourself something you wish the world would be telling you…as a new mom….such as You got this. You are doing a great job. Now, I want to invite you to DOWNLOAD 12 easy and proven meditation prompts today. I wrote out the ones that have gotten me through my motherhood journey thus far. You will also have an opportunity to join me and other new moms on a free meditation experience on Sunday, March 26th, at 8 am CST. You can sign-up for the free prompts and join me LIVE on March 26th for one-hour (babies can come) to learn more about creating a ritual that fits your mom needs and schedule. Sign-up today and instantly grab my meditation prompts to get centered in two-minutes or fewer flat! https://bit.ly/mindmom SHARE this episode with a mom who enjoys reading nonfiction and/or is writing her own.  Similar Episodes: Kuniatsu “Coonie” Suzuki, Buddhist Monk, Talks About Meditation, His Buddhist Teachings, and Building Courage, Episode 26 https://www.melissallarena.com/kuniatsu-coonie-suzuki-talks-about-meditation-buddhist-teachings-and-building-courage-episode26/ 20-Minute Heart-Centered Meditation For Moms Experiencing A Holiday Shitstorm https://melissallarena.substack.com/p/20-minute-heart-centered-meditation Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to my podcast for moms who read and want to write a nonfiction book? I'd love for you to subscribe if you haven't yet.  I'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast for writer moms. Grab your FREE chapter (complete with 5 game-changing journal prompts for moms) of my upcoming book entitled: Mom Life Rescripted: Reawaken your imagination, reintroduce playfulness into your life, and stretch your thinking. In the FREE chapter that includes 5 journal prompts for moms, you will instantly receive, get ready to: Uncover whether your mom expectations are holding you back from fulfilling your life purpose or perhaps stopping you from playing full-out on life Consider what it can look like for you to be more playful in how you are as a mom along with how you are with your kids Get a jolt of energy to reclaim your former free and spirited self into this season of your life as you continue to explore your interests as seriously as you do those of your school-age kids; uncover how to bring back your ambitious self today and have the energy to execute too. Meanwhile, check out what moms like you have to say about this chapter and my upcoming book overall! Get your free chapter today! Don't you want to feel alive again? You know who raises happy kids? Happy moms. So here is what other moms have to say… “This chapter is about getting in touch with your creative, playful, imaginative side. The part of yourself that perhaps felt freer before you became a parent, before you chose your identity and had a lot of responsibilities weighing you down. In helping you get in touch with your more playful, creative self, it not only helps you on a path toward greater happiness and fulfillment, but it also helps you to feel more fulfilled as a parent.” – Mom/PR  

This is episode 167 and I am your host Melissa Llarena. Today's listener question comes from a coaching client a mom in academia and she asked what is the ONE new wellness habit you've incorporated into your mom life that has had the largest positive impact? The habit is to be okay with declining food from my family and other people when it's not in my best interest from a wellness perspective. This may sound rude or downright ungrateful to some of us especially if you are from a culture where food = love like us Latinos. However, this has been a choice for which I have zero regrets. I believe that for you and for me we need to give our imagination its best shot possible to work for us --- whether it's to help you come up with a new idea for a book or to figure out how to navigate the logistics necessary to make the time to do anything for yourself. You need to think clearly (not be scatterbrained) and to innovate at the drop of a dime and for that reason alone wellness to me requires full ownership and discernment over what we eat. This habit was extremely important especially if you have been known to be a people pleaser or avoid confrontations. Imagine if every time your loved one told you: don't worry it's only a cookie or come on what are you on a diet or look I made apple pie and we have cheesecake you decided that you didn't want to cause a fuss or look ungrateful or cause an issue or rife? This is something that to me matters a ton and honestly as it related to my client choosing to appease a family member meant forgoing her weight loss goals. So how does this affect her ability to create the best work of her life? In this very specific way, energy and also self-trust. You eat sugar or turkey or don't work out then you feel lethargic. You won't have the energy to work after hours to launch your side hustle. Self-trust when it comes to self-trust you just undermined yourself to yourself and although no one outside of you hears that its you and this creates a slippery slope…you start accepting that lying to yourself is okay….this is in the wellness category but spills into other life areas too. This habit of declining food that does not nourish you is so important because this is really hard and can undo a ton of effort. You are a mom. You need to operate on all of your cylinders. This is not about being ungrateful. It's about standing up for yourself. You need to nourish yourself to give your imagination the opportunity to wake up, you need to have energy to want to reintroduce playfulness into your life, and you need to have clarity of mind to stretch your thinking when it comes to living life on your terms. I am writing a book on this very topic and it would mean the world if you asked me your questions around the use of your imagination.  Have you ever felt like the least creative person you knew? Have you ever felt totally stuck and unsure what to do when it came to pressing reset on your life? What is stopping you (really) from bringing your most imaginative, fun, and encouraging self to fulfill your biggest dreams? Do you have a big dream? Have you stopped dreaming for yourself? So now, I want to hear from you…what's on your mind when it comes to achieving the kind of unimaginable wellness that can help you achieve your personal growth or professional ambitions as a woman with several talents and skills. What question would you like me to answer for you on a ten-minute or under podcast episode? Catch me on Instagram @melissallarena   

Let's talk about how you can find your purpose, BESIDES being a mom, I have three steps for you in this week's podcast and this week I am calling for 50 moms from 50 US states to become my beta readers in exchange for your name in my book credits. Send me a DM on Instagram @melissallarena with the word BETA if you want to join me as an early reader of my non-fiction book for moms who want to say good-bye to self-neglect/old mom paradigms, figure out what lights them up, and imagine actually going for it! What follows below is the transcript to this week's solo episode... So as a stay at home mom, for the last 11 years, I have used my business, this podcast as my life force. I mean, I have too many unrealized dreams. And honestly, I've always loved a dare. But what I've noticed out there being amongst many stay at home moms, is that you might feel like you could not possibly push yourself enough to figure out what it is that you're meant to do, besides being a mom. In this solo episode, I want to give you practical, simple to explore ideas that are going to help you understand what your purpose might be. Besides being a mom. Now, I've been doing my due diligence and just looking at all the forums online. And ultimately, what I have heard from stay at home moms these days, is that you might feel a bit useless. Not as a mom, not as a caretaker. But just in the outside world, you might also feel like you don't have a purpose, you might feel like you don't have real value because you're not bringing home the bacon.   And ultimately, across the board, in terms of what I've noticed from my peers stay at home moms, is that a lot of us feel lonely. And that's why this episode is so important, especially if you want to turn things around for yourself. Because ultimately, no one is going to give you permission, no one is going to tap you on the shoulder. No one is going to help you find your own source of purpose, give you energy, nor give you a blueprint to how you will find what you were meant to do. Besides being a mom that is now I know that this is like I mean, I have such audacity here, right? Shouldn't being a stay at home mom, Shouldn't that be the ultimate source of fulfillment and purpose? Are we not doing the most important, critical, urgent job on this planet? It's really interesting because I will say this. A lot of times, that's what we hear. We hear that from society, we hear how being a mom is the ultimate self sacrificial job and how there is nothing more satisfying than being a mom. But I'm here to say that personally, it wasn't enough for me. Personally, I needed to stay in tuned with the activities that gave me life that have contributed to me having orals of energy, and that have made me happy. And oftentimes, I had to do things that were just not on the menu, not available for moms, things that maybe even 12 year old dudes would be doing. For example, having a conversation with Gary Vee, not on the menu for me, or launching a podcast not on the menu for stay at home mom, or deciding to I don't know, travelled to Uluru in Australia by myself for a weekend between the pandemic's lockdowns not on the menu for a mom with three kids. But these are the things that I had to do for myself. And if you're a stay at home, mom, chances are it's been some time since you've had an opportunity to do something for yourself. And therein lies the answer to this question. How is it that you might go about finding your purpose besides being a mom, so what When I think about this idea, when I first took on the role of motherhood back in 2011, I will say that I had certain expectations and assumptions about what it is to be a mom. And in a book that I'm writing, I've called it these mom scripts. So just like an actress, just like an actor, you get a script, you have a good sense of how you're supposed to play this role. And oftentimes, this script is provided to us by our family, by peers, maybe even by society. And I will say that once I got the script, I was totally not excited about it. I mean, when I first became a mom to my first son, and I realized that I would have to be a stay at home mom, according to my own trust issues, I will fully admit, I was bawling. I was sitting in a rocking chair, I found out that my perfectly and you don't see the air quotes, but perfectly orchestrated childcare solution fell apart before it even began. And I was bawling. For me it was like, Okay, what was I doing this whole time pursuing the harder academic subjects going totally all out? I mean, gangbusters, in terms of my education, like, what was that all about? If ultimately, what I was going to become, in that moment, was a stay at home mom. And so beyond the bawling beyond the crying beyond the emotions, I gave it a go, I tried, I really, really tried to relish in being a mom. I mean, I hung out with moms, watching daytime TV, I walked alongside moms, while I had my baby on my ergo, baby thingamajig. I mean, it was really exploring the stay at home mom thing. But ultimately, I was only able to do it for six months. For six months, I did what stay at home moms do. And I found it really hard to feel grateful for being able to be a stay at home mom and be quote, unquote, limited to the certain things. Here are the things that for me, of course, I was grateful in the moment. But ultimately, they just were not enough. For example, seeing my sons take their first steps. Absolutely. I was thrilled to see their first steps. But ultimately, what about me, like you're witnessing kids who are developing in like at rapid speeds, accomplishing things that are like incredible, but then it begs the question, so what are we chicken liver? So that was a thought that passed through my mind. Another one was this idea. Okay, I have the flexibility to attend all of my son's doctor's visits, all of the immunizations, but still, ultimately, he would leave all those visits weeping. And there I was trying to figure out how to comfort him. I mean, was grateful that I could go to the doctor's visits, obviously. But still, what about me, like, I was looking at the doctors or the pediatricians and I was like, man, they have their own office, their names are on the door, they're getting major money from the healthcare institutions, like, wow, they've got a career, what about me, so I get it how being a mom has been put on a pedestal as being the most noble job. But ultimately, if you're like me, or the moms that have written extensively on these mom forums, maybe it's not enough for you. Maybe you feel like, there's got to be more to it. So this is where this concept comes into play. Let me share this idea of jet fuel. So to me, when I'm plugged into my purpose, I feel energy that's really hard to explain. When I feel like I am doing something that is just for me, even if it sounds selfish, there's just something inside of me, that makes me go and not feel drained. It makes me feel like high on life. And what I want to say in this conversation with you, my dear listener, is that you too, as a stay at home mom, you're going to need energy to find your purpose. And I know right now, it might feel totally unattainable. But I promise I'll give you a couple of steps here. That'll get you closer. You are also going to need to explore different purposes. Now, the term purpose sounds super broad, but let's just imagine that your purpose can be found by way of doing an activity. And the third point is that you're going to have to surround yourself Have around other purpose chasers. So here's where I think it's important for us to have an honest talk, mom, to Mom, if right now you are finding yourself really almost like hiding out at home, because you don't feel like you have something exciting to talk about. Or maybe you feel a bit insecure, and you just stay in the background, when you're out there with your partner, maybe because you just don't feel confident enough about who you are, as a wonderful human, then it's really, really important for you to catch this concept, achieving something for yourself, figuring out what dreams you want to pursue only for you, that's going to give you everything that you need, it's going to give you that sensation that is going to wake you up in the middle of the night, excited about an idea that bubbles up to your mind, it's gonna give you the ultimate excuse for talking to strangers, is going to help you carve out even 10 minutes a day to work on your dreams. So it's important, you need some jet fuel. And without that jet fuel or source of energy or Spark, we can call it what we may, life just feels dull. It really, really does feel dull. For me, my creative projects, my client work these podcast conversations. Usually when I'm interviewing someone, or my jet fuel, like these are the things that I was told would have to take a back seat once I pushed out my son's. But honestly, if I never explored my interests beyond being a mom, and trying to be a good one, then I would have never figured out what activities actually energized me. Which activities gave me the most life, which activities if I did them that day, would result in a happier mom. And I know that a lot of moms out there are dangerously low on jet fuel. I mean, super dangerously low. And so that's why this idea of your mom's script and the expectations that you were told, come with being a mom is really, really important. I mean, I write extensively about this idea in the book that I'm writing right now. And I think it's important because a lot of what we were told about being a mom, and namely being a stay at home mom, it really results in feeling shackled, feeling limited. I'll give you an example. Like right now, let's just say that you're thinking about things that are available to you over the course of this week for you, you might say yes, going to a PTA is available to me, that's what's expected as a mom. Now taking a break dancing class in the middle of the day, even if it's a free dance break dancing class is not available to me as a mom. So like, where did this notion come from? Right as to what is available to you, as a mom, what is not available? That is what I'm referring to as a mom scripts. So as a mom, when you gave birth, and you were welcomed into the mom club, as I was when I gave birth by my mom, she said welcome to the mom club, there were certain things that were off limits for me certain environments that I shouldn't be in. I'll give you an example. And this might be so high, I don't even know. But don't judge me on this. So let's just imagine that you no longer because now you're a stay at home mom, and you're supposed to be really busy always cleaning your house, you can no longer take a Saturday morning off, like until the kid is 18. And you are no longer invited to attend. I don't even know ComiCon let's say right, that conference in New York City with all the costumes and such. Like who's to say moms are not allowed in that environment? Right? But maybe it's something that you learned from your mom, maybe you never witnessed your mom explore things that were outside of motherhood expectations. Maybe you never saw your mom, essentially, quote, unquote, be a little selfish and try things that technically were reserved for people that didn't have kids or for our own kids. And so for me, I didn't realize that there were lots of things that all of a sudden I felt like I was closing the door on because I was a mom. It was almost like I was programmed. Right? And ultimately, a lot of us are programmed through the age of Seven in terms of how our parents would like us to behave. And this is something that goes on realize if you're just on autopilot, as so many stay at home moms and working moms tend to be. So those first six months when I tried to be a stay at home mom, and I had no goals, but to be a mom, I II make sure my kids survived. I felt like my arms and legs were like flailing. Like I had no idea, like how to be anything. But a lackluster. Regular mom. Like it just didn't give me that excitement if it was not enough jet fuel, like how was I supposed to be so excited for a cutesy, cuddly baby, if I just did not feel excited. And I'm not even talking about postpartum, we're talking about even later on, when all those hormones had subdued, I still didn't feel the thrill. I didn't feel like my kid even deserved to completely fulfill all of my hopes and dreams. I needed something more. So here we go. What are the three steps that you can take practical steps to actually figuring out what your purpose might be? Or what is it going to take for you to almost generate your own jet fuel, so that this way, you are totally, totally alive?     Step 1 starts with giving yourself permission to pick items off of the kiddie menu.   I did this the other day. So I went to this like Mediterranean fast food place. And they had these like Buddha bowl thingamajigs. And they had the menu for adults. And then they had the kiddie menu. And I honestly had to think to myself, Okay, are they going to let me choose from the kiddie menu? Like, is that available to me. And so I went ahead, and I got the kiddie menu item, and no one even questioned my choice. Same thing for you. Think about it this way. Again, this is step one, super practical. Right now, as a mom, as a stay at home mom, you are also a curriculum designer for your family. So let's imagine that you have children with different interests, and you're trying to figure out how to bring forth an artistic interest in one of your kids. So you go ahead and look up library events that have to do with art, or you look up art classes that are extracurriculars. What if what if you did this for yourself? What if rather than take your daughter to dance class, you went to the dance class yourself? Now I know, you're gonna say, Melissa, what's the priority that's going to cost money? You know, I've already quote unquote, lived my life. That's a mom's script, by the way. So here's what I want to say to you. Here's why this is important. Why this matters, and why your excuse is just not enough. If right now, again, back to the drawing board. If right now you feel like you don't have that enthusiasm over your life, what you're doing something exciting to talk about with anyone, not because you're trying to impress them, but because you're just so excited about what you've got going on, then take this opportunity. Just think to yourself, like the curriculum designer that all stay at home moms are, what can I pick from the kiddie menu? What can I explore? That might make me the happiest mom on the block? What can I do that might make me remember who I was before being a mom that breakdancer? Let's just imagine, like really think about this, broadly, again, let go of these moms scripts of the expectations of the things that are available for moms, what's available for your kid? What's available for your children? Go there. Get something off the kiddie menu, I promise you. No one is going to question your choice. And now we'll go into the logistics. And of course that's going to include your partner if you have one.   Step 2. I want you to work out the logistics as you do for EVERYONE else.   Now. You're a mom, you're a stay at home mom. If I know anything about you very specifically. It's that you're a logistics ninja for everyone. else's logistics. So let's just imagine that super last minute, your child procrastinated, they forgot that they have to be somewhere. And it was just essential. I know what you as a stay at home mom would do, you'd make it happen, somehow, you would pull out a rabbit from a hat, and figure out how to take your kid from point A to B. And the interesting part here is that you have this muscle, and it's really strong, you could use it for yourself. So let's imagine you wanted to take a break dancing class. And I want to just like, share this with you. Not everything cost money. There are some breakdancing classes that you could probably take for free. So let's just put that to the side. But let's continue with the logistics. Let's imagine you want to take a break dancing class, right? And you need to think about logistics. One big piece of the puzzle is that you need to tell your partner if you have one, or you need to figure out your childcare situation. Now, what I know about you, fellow stay at home mom, is that you know how to make stuff happen. You know, how to bring together all of your resources when it comes to everyone else. And so what I'm asking you to do right now is to use this superpower for yourself for this new interest that might actually reveal part of your purpose, and if nothing else, will make you a happier mom.   Wait, what if you feel resistant in changing your schedule or asking someone else to change there's?   So here's where resistance comes in. Okay. I don't want to ask my husband to take care of the kids on Saturday morning. Let's just imagine that's an excuse or resistance. Here's how you work through that. Breakout, a journal or notebook, I want you to ask yourself this question. And literally write out in bullet form your answers until your hand hurts, or you have a really honest response.   Here's the question, you ready for it? Okay, now you might be driving. So just like take this in and contemplate whether this might be a point of resistance for you. I want you to ask yourself, why? Why do I not want to tell my husband about caring for the kids on Saturday morning. And the reason why it's important for you to understand the reason for your resistance to doing any of these steps in terms of the logistics, like, Why? Why do I want to ask my husband to cook breakfast on Saturday morning, whereas I usually cook breakfast on Saturday morning. The reason why you have to really be self aware around the reasons why you don't take action for yourself, is because you need to get to the crux of the matter. You need to get to the absolute truth. What is it? What are you telling yourself? What are you making it mean when you choose to take a break dancing class on a Saturday morning, instead of quote unquote, doing your mom duties? Or taking your child to jujitsu or taking your child and you know, making pancakes for them on Saturday morning? What is it that you're making this mean? What is it telling your husband when you're asking for him to step in on a Saturday morning? What are you afraid of is going to happen? Do you feel like you will no longer be needed on Saturday mornings Do you feel then that this is going to drip into Sunday mornings, and maybe your partner can handle Monday mornings, like it's so important because these logistics, if we're really, really honest with ourselves a stay at home moms, these logistics are doable for every buddy else in your house. If you are choosing not to take that break dancing class, for any reason, other than you don't want to explore break dancing, or you might break a wrist or something, then it's important for you to understand why why without that inner work, it's going to be really, really hard to implement the steps along your mom journey. Because your interests, the things that give you your jet fuel or make you feel like you have a sense of purpose. Besides being a mom. It evolves, it changes. And so you're gonna need to do this every so often. So that's how you will work out the logistics. You'll get it done, as you have before for everyone else except this time for you and the points of resistance. It's about writing out why you feel that resistance. What are you making it mean? Why are you hesitant to ask your husband to step in? Or why are you not asking your mother to help you take care of your kids? There's usually something way bigger happening Behind the scenes, and if you don't address that point, you will constantly be searching for your purpose and feel like I did early on like your arms or legs or just fail flailing aimlessly. And you need to feel plugged into life, your life.   Step 3 - You have to find your tribe. So when I think about, you know, when I first got married, my husband and I did what other couples do, we went to, you know, the suburbs, and we were house hunting. And what we noticed on the commuter bus was that the passengers looked absolutely dead. They were alive, as in like reading their cell phones, but they didn't have like this life in them. And it was something that we felt being on this bus, and it scared the bejesus out of us to be honest. And so we didn't find suburbia, early on. So look around you look around at the moms that you talk to look around at your neighborhood. And you have to be honest with yourself like, is anyone around you high on life? Is anyone around you energize? Is anyone around you doing something that is plugged into their purpose? Like how often are you around that person? If it's not often enough, then you have to find your tribe. And your tribe? Might not be a mom tribe? Again, go back to the scripts as a stay at home mom in the past? like who are you supposed to be around other stay at home moms? Are you supposed to be around? You know, other people that are partnered up? Are you supposed to be around other 30 year olds, 40 year olds, 50 year olds, like we have these expectations and assumptions, or mom's scripts that really, really require almost like a reconsideration so that this way you feel on purpose, or even give yourself a shot to figure out what your purpose might be before being a mom. And at this point, what's urgent is that this season of being a mom, there's an expiration date. This was something else I read on the forums, there were some empty nesters who wish wish years before their kids left to university that they had gone on this journey of uncovering their purpose, because at this point, they felt so bored, and totally without purpose. So what I want to share with you in this podcast episode is a warning. It's a warning, this season of being a stay at home mom, unless you keep adopting children for the rest of your life, there comes a day where you will no longer have someone to stay home with. And for a lot of us this starts in kindergarten, Ever notice how like once your kids are out to school, you might struggle with figuring out what you should be doing during the course of the day. And even if you don't struggle with all the things that you give yourself to do. Have you ever felt like Hmm, what's the point of sweeping this floor again for the umpteenth time? Well imagine that as an empty nester, I can't imagine it. But according to the forums that I read, there's a lot of empty nesters who wish that they had taken the time to carve out in their stay at home mom journey to figure out what their ultimate purpose was, at least for the moment, and at least have a tool or method that they could apply throughout the life stages throughout their life stages. So here's where I'm going with this. This is so important. Like this topic of finding your purpose, besides or beyond being a mom is so important, so important that I decided to write a book about it.   And now for my BIG ask of you my fellow mom   I want every single mom that's listening to this, I want you personally to have the tools, resources, the support and the energy that you need to give yourself a chance to really live out your purpose. And honestly, if mental health matters to you, like really, really matters to you, then this conversation should speak to your heart whether you're a mom or not. If you believe like me, that you only get one life and you get to have happy days. And you get to get happy days, not just because of something that your kid did, but because of something that you did, then I want to invite you to help me.   Yep, I want your help. I am calling for 50-moms who enjoy reading non-fiction books to become beta readers in exchange for goodies including your name in my book credits. Continue reading for the details….   Right now, as I'm writing this book, tackling moms scripts, defying motherhood expectations scrapping some of the rules that I was told and writing my own motherhood rules. I need help. I need people who will read my book in the early days. So this is pre publishing date, I need moms who are from each of the 50 states. And I also want moms who are from English speaking countries, because this is a global conversation. This is not just a conversation for you, if you're like in Boston, or Austin or Astoria, like the same sentiments, this feeling of like, not having a purpose not having value, because you're not bringing in money, feeling like there's gotta be something more like this is really common. And honestly, it's probably in your own zip code. The issue is that we're not talking about it instead, a lot of us are pretending that everything is wonderful and hunky dory, when it really isn't. And so, even I, when I've lived in different countries, I've heard the same thing from stay at home moms, you could go to any children's area of a library anywhere around the world, and you will hear the same conversations, the frustrations of motherhood, how you feel like you don't have anything interesting going on how you don't even know where to begin, when it comes to professional conversations. Like this just needs to stop. Because if we have the most noble profession, then why is it that we don't feel like it's valued? Why is it that we don't all feel high on life and in purpose might it be because there's something else besides being a mom, that would actually give you that energy, that power, that lift, to actually feel happier every day? So that's my mission. And I want you to be part of it.   How to become a BETA reader? Simple DM me the word BETA on Instagram @melissallarena for details.   If you want to help me by being a beta reader, let me know, send me a DM on Instagram. So just DM me the word beta BETA, go to Instagram at Melissa Llarena. I am looking for beta readers who are going to have an early copy of my book, you will have an opportunity to give me feedback. This is essentially a nonfiction book about personal growth for moms so that this way you can figure out what is going to light you up. Might it be creative endeavor? Might it be starting a business? Might it be, you know, doing a podcast, I want you to understand what you might feel like you're up against, but no one is talking about in terms of those, those moms scripts. And then I want to give you the tools and inspiration you need from even people that are not moms. So that this way you can live with more enthusiasm, have a sense of playfulness, and have something really, really exciting to talk about, with anyone who will listen. So definitely I need BETA readers. Again, this is how it all works super simple. First of all, you're gonna get stickers, you're gonna get stickers, and I don't know about you. But for me, I was a big Lisa Frank fan, I couldn't afford all those stickers. But I want to give you a sticker. And it's gonna reflect a sense of this identity, this bigger identity more than a mom, who the heck knows what I will actually say, but I want you to be excited because you're gonna be part of a beta group collective of women, we're going to have copies of my book early. So before publishing date, you will have a chance to give me feedback, you will let me know what stories really resonated with you, you will also have a chance to look at my journal prompts, and answer them if that's your heart's desire, or provide feedback so that this way, my questions really, really help you do that deep inner work necessary to pull yourself up and feel excited about what you've got going on in your life. I'll give you the whole book, I'll give you a couple of questions that will help you focus in terms of this feedback. We're also going to do a beta reader party, and you're going to have your name in my book in my credit, so I want to be sure that I help you feel special, especially as the world says that stay at home moms are now must you be a mom to be a beta reader. Yes, it is important to have that perspective. Must you be a stay at home mom to be a beta reader? Not at all. You could be a working mom, you could have a business you can work for a corporation, but you must have a mom because moms have a very different way of looking at our priorities and the products that we choose to take on or not. So go ahead, send me a DM at Instagram. This will be in the show notes. So right now if you're looking at iTunes, just look at your cell phone when you are not driving, and you will see the spelling of my instagram name. It's at Melissa Llarena definitely send me the word beta b e t So just send me that word. And then I will share with you the details pertaining to when you will get the pre release copy of my book, the questions that you will be considering. And of course, I'll let you know the details about the beta reader reader party. Now, if you are being called to a higher purpose beyond, or besides being a mom, here's the truth. The only way to know is to actually show up for yourself today, because your purpose is your fuel, like you're going to need it you're gonna need to fill up all the time, so that this way you can give more and more of you to everyone else in your family. And at the end of the day, I think this is a very worthy, very worthy cause. Because so many stay at home moms out there. Like I honestly believe that if you're plugged into your purpose, you can actually solve the real challenges in this world. And without you, like you make up a huge part of the population. Without you, we're just never going to make the progress that we can as a society. So thank you for listening to this conversation. This is a call for beta readers, I would love a mom from every state in the United States to represent their state and be a beta reader. I would love a mom from English speaking countries to also show up as a beta reader, send me a DM at Melissa Llarena with the word beta B E T A. If you're interested in becoming a beta reader, the book is going to be about 70,000 words, you'll have three weeks to read it, I'll give you guided questions to consider. You'll have your name in the book, you'll also be invited to the VIP Beta reader party, and you will also have an opportunity to have and share and show off your sticker. Like I'm really excited about this sticker. So for sure, be part of this group be part of this community. I want to show you what it feels like to be totally alive and on purpose. And yes, it's okay if you are like me and you feel like your purpose might be beyond being a mom. That doesn't say anything about you as a good mom or not. Your good mom, you have someone's life in your heart. That's all you need to feel like you're getting it right. So I would love you on my book writing journey. Come and help me my beautiful betas come and help me.

In this week's episode, you are about to go behind the scenes of my podcast relaunch journey. I want to reveal my personal reasons for pivoting from entrepreneurship to wellness. Today, I will invite you to be part of my creative process. I'll ask you to send me your thoughts on 3 important questions. My aim is to ensure the next iteration of this podcast will be valuable and part of your weekly routine going forward. Oh, and stay tuned until the end, because I will be doing something special for those moms who do answer those 3 questions before the end of October 14th. But first, in 2017, I launched An Interview with Melissa Llarena out of a dare. One night I was cooking rice and beans, as many other Latina moms would do, when suddenly and excitingly my husband had an idea. He dared me to invite GaryVee and James Altucher to my podcast but first to launch a podcast. I'm grateful. I achieved that dare. Other things also came from my 140+ podcast episodes, I: overcame familiar mom feelings of imposter syndrome figured out that I can bring my own value to conversations even with goddess-like Suzy Batiz the inventor of Poo~Pourri mastered the art of organizing my recordings in between childcare snafus the whole journey has taught me a lot about how big I was or wasn't playing it also felt good, really good to always have a fun, and daring conversation up my sleeves amongst my mom friends or friends in conventional careers frankly, doing this podcast, got me out of my mom brain and that felt good Then after 140 episodes or so I started to see how far a podcast that began as a dare could get. Thus far, fueled by a dare, I've been able to garner about 15K downloads. This may sound wonderful. However, through the years I'd hear of some getting 10K downloads in their first few months.  So at this point, I decided to look at the numbers more seriously, and here is what I uncovered: people were listening but I started to feel like it was a one-way conversation (which I take total ownership as my episodes started to get long) guests were coming but their followers were not sticking around after one episode (I'll admit it may have been because my guest list start feeling unpredictable) meanwhile, marketing was happening but I was exhausted and my recent relocation from Australia back to the USA was a moment where I felt like I bit off more than I could chew Now, I have my MBA. I saw the stats but my ego just kept me going. I wasn't asking my listeners for feedback. I was just producing content and not really knowing WHY the numbers were not going up. Then one of my sons asked me a question Noah asked me: mommy, why are you doing a podcast if you are not getting paid for it? All the data in the world could have told me to stop podcasting or pour more resources into marketing it or evolving the theme to something more niche. But it was Noah my 8-year-old who led me here to pivot my podcast significantly.  Noah got me to be DONE with listening to my ego.  I contemplate for enough time. I was falling into a trap. I was going after fancy schmancy people because I'm scared that I won't be fancy schmancy like them if we aren't in the same orbits. Who would I be without them? Am I enough without their company? Noah got me to think about this thought very deeply.  This is why I've set out to do something very different. Very aligned. And very raw. And this is where you come in so please let me what you think. I'll share how in a moment.  I want to reshape this podcast to address one very urgent question as there is an influx of moms pursuing self-employment right now. Key Question: What ancient or modern wellness practices can entrepreneurial moms use to achieve the kind of unimaginable wellness that can truly unlock their greatest creative potential? This question has nothing to do with a dare. I'll tell you where this question comes from: I was raised by a single mom with Manic Depression. I have only known my mom with her illness since 1979.  Back then, mental health was a family secret. Yet, seeing her unable to accomplish her grandiose ambitions fueled me to pursue (and achieve some of my own). You can say building my own business and being a mom these last 11 years is evidence that there could be a silver lining when moms think extraordinary thoughts and have solid wellness practices to bubblewrap their sanity. All of this to say: I stand for resilience and creativity and I'd love to share my wisdom along with the wisdom of experts with my fellow moms who have big dreams yet might be neglecting their needs. I can attest to it that building a business as well as a family is innately a contact sport. Wellness is what can help entrepreneurs get back up. For moms, we must get back up. Personally, my mom never quite got there. *****SHORT SURVEY FOR PODCAST PIVOT***** So this is where you come into this relaunch process. Are you ready? Scooch up in your seat. Grab a notepad. This is your chance to help a mom on a mission. Send answers to melissa [@} melissallarena.com or via Instagram @melissallarena I want to know 3 things.  Who is an expert that you trust for your wellness insights? Anywhere in the world. The person you follow. You may have read their book or watched them on TV. Who do you consult for your wellness practices or guidance? Write it down. Whoever comes to mind it could be your tia Josefita or Jack Kornfield. What would wellness feel like for you personally? What word or words come to mind? If you are a visual person, what images pop up. If you are a kinesthetic person, what movements feel like your deepest expression of wellness?  If you are more auditory what would wellness sound like? What questions do you have about wellness?  Wellness is very broad to me: Physical, mental health, emotional, spiritual, social, intellectual, creative wellness….my quest is to make sure we are thinking more deeply, proactively, and in a way that we can hold ourselves accountable…so the solutions/ideas I'm seeking from future guests need to be practical and within reach So I've asked you these three questions. So where do you send your thoughts? You can email me your questions to Melissa @ melissallarena.com OR you can catch me on Instagram @melissallarena and send me an audio message there or message with ideas. Two ways for you.  *****REWARD FOR SURVEY RESPONSES***** Oh and I would love to reward you for your participation in this mini-survey. In exchange for your answers, I will be scheduling a free meditation session over Zoom for moms who are new to self-employment.  We will be covering two meditations one called: how to find calm even in the midst of a shitstorm (15-minutes) how to release guilt even if your kid tends to be the last one picked up from most places (15-minutes) Both topics after my own 11-year entrepreneurial adventures + motherhood journey are near and dear to my life and that's why I want to walk you through my process. These meditations have helped ME and I firmly believe that us moms breathing together can be one of the most beautiful contributions we can make to our families and business.  The exact Zoom date will be set for the week of October 17th.  Based on who sends in her answers, we will iron out the exact date/time. Send me your answers via email or Instagram. You'll see this in your show notes too. In the meantime, beyond sending me your answers. As it relates to this specific podcast episode. On another note.... I need your help. Moms know 100s of other moms. I know billion-dollar companies out there who use our word of mouth to sell us things we need and don't need. The time is now to help me by using your megaphone. I would like to ask that you SHARE or FORWARD this episode on your social media. I would be extra honored if you sent this to your whatsapp group mom communities. If you are a fellow podcaster it would be an honor to be a guest on your show so that I can get this message out too. The incredible thing I've noticed as a coach who has helped moms build their self-confidence is that billion-dollar businesses know how powerful we are. Yet, it's us who sometimes forget.  Has that ever happened to you? You see a survey out there and you think to yourself: aw they don't need my opinion. Or, I'm just going to say something they must already know. Alternatively, you might think I don't have time to add another thing to my plate. I'm a MOM! Here's my answer to all of those thoughts: What is on your mind is important. Your ideas. Your perspective. They are important. You are important. Your hopes. Your dreams. Your concerns. Your shares. Your forwards. All matter. I want to be certain that this next edition of my podcast Unimaginable Wellness gives you the tools, insights, and hope you need to make your dreams possible. You only get one you and this is about ensuring you've got a well from which to give to the world. So what do you say? Are you emailing me or DM-ing me your answers? I'd be honored to read them and lead you in my guided meditations specifically made for moms who are new to the world of self-employment.  Thank you and stay tuned until next Tuesday. I'll be releasing an interview I did with Fran Hauser Named one of the "6 Most Powerful Women in NYC's Tech Scene" by Refinery29. If you are a mom who is building a tech business then tune in because Fran loves investing in women-owned businesses that bring us together.

Are you feeling overwhelmed or burnt out? I think it's safe to say that most working moms have felt overwhelmed from time to time. However, if this seems to be a common occurrence in your life, you don't want to miss this episode. My guest, Melissa Llarena shares her journey of letting her intuition lead by recognizing the signs in her body and shifting her work into something that feels more aligned with who she is and how she wants to live her life. Just because you might be good at what you do and have the financial backing to support you doesn't mean it's meant for you. There are so many great takeaways from this episode that you can begin to incorporate into your life when it comes to listening to your intuition. Melissa Llarena is a high-performance coach to moms who want to launch coaching + services businesses. She is writing a book on how to reawaken a mom's imagination. She has a podcast called An Interview With Melissa Llarena featuring GaryVee. Melissa has an NYU psychology degree, a Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth MBA, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate. She lives in Austin, TX with her family. Say hi on Instagram @melissallarena. Learn more about Katrina at www.yourinspiredmindset.comFollow Katrina on Instagram @katrina_manifestationmama for manifestation tips and daily inspiration, or come join the Manifestation Mama membership: http://inspired-mindset.teachable.com/p/inspired-collective-mastermindBe sure to subscribe so that you don't miss any upcoming episodes, and share with a friend who needs to hear this message.

Welcome to another exciting episode of Twin Moms Thriving podcast. This week, we are joined by a wonderful fabulous guest, Melissa Llarena.Melissa Llarena is a high-performance coach to moms who have chosen the path of entrepreneurship as their best option for being both a fully present parent and an ambitious woman. She is also the host of her own podcast called An Interview With Melissa Llarena where Melissa helps you go from imagining to living your best life.  In her podcast, you will learn how to believe in yourself, unleash your biggest potential, leave perfectionism behind, and build a fulfilling life.Her latest accomplishment has been authoring a book which will be released soon. Click here to be notified when the book is released.   As Melissa believes moms deserve the best, here is a taste of some of her featured guests: entrepreneurs (Suzy Batiz, Beth Comstock), creators (GaryVee, James Altucher), world changers (David Meltzer, Asha Curran), beacons of hope (Raphael Rowe, Dr. Joel Fuhrman), and world-class storytellers (Cal Fussman, Jordan Harbinger).  Meanwhile, Melissa's background includes a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and she holds a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate based on Tony Robbins principles and Landmark Education insights. She is a native New Yorker who has lived/worked in Paris as well as London, and courageously relocated to Sydney, Australia with her family. Melissa is a mom to three boys; included in that mix are identical twins.Go to https://betterhelp.com/twinmoms for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help #sponsoredDownload my guide to help you keep your sanity with twins here

Melissa Llarena stepped off the corporate track and became an entrepreneur after becoming a mom and not being able to find adequate childcare. She doesn't feel like a “pure working mom,” but she doesn't feel like a stay-at-home mom, either. This “in between” status means she's carving out her own path, which requires energy to create the path, in addition to simply walking it. If there's any “crisis” to Melissa's midlife, it's more answering the question: am I going to do what I thought I was meant to do? Now that she's in her forties - and after a reflective exercise with Post-It Notes that you'll have to listen to understand - she has given herself the permission to execute on who she's always been. Guest BioMelissa Llarena is a high-performance coach to moms who have chosen the path of entrepreneurship as their best option for being both a fully present parent and an ambitious woman. She is also the host of her own podcast called An Interview With Melissa Llarena, where Melissa helps you go from imagining to living your best life. In her podcast, you will learn how to believe in yourself, unleash your biggest potential, leave perfectionism behind, and build a fulfilling life. Melissa believes moms deserve the best; here is a taste of some of her featured guests: entrepreneurs (Suzy Batiz, Beth Comstock), creators (GaryVee, James Altucher), world changers (David Meltzer, Asha Curran), beacons of hope (Raphael Rowe, Dr. Joel Fuhrman), and world-class storytellers (Cal Fussman, Jordan Harbinger). Meanwhile, Melissa's background includes a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and she holds a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate based on Tony Robbins principles and Landmark Education insights. She is a native New Yorker who has lived/worked in Paris as well as London, and courageously relocated to Sydney, Australia with her family. Melissa is a mom to three boys; included in that mix are identical twins. Celebrating Turning 40Melissa turned 40 as an expat living in Sydney, Australia. To celebrate, she climbed the Harbour Bridge, even though she's afraid of heights. An iconic tourist destination, the climb is safe, but scary. She was chasing the butterfly feeling in her stomach. She believes that her moments of greatest growth have been the ones when she's got butterflies or big nerves.  She asked herself: what can I do to celebrate turning 40 and up the ante that is in integrity with who I am or who I tell the world that I am?  Melissa tells herself and the world that she is courageous. So climbing the Harbour Bridge became the idea that was bad-ass, kind of risky, but not crazy, that made that moment super memorable and was culturally relevant to where she was at the time. But as epic as it was, while she was ascending creaky wooden plank stairs and looking at the cars parked below her, she wondered why she chose this particular celebration and not something more….comfortable.  Mapping Out Where She's BeenAs she approached 40, Melissa started to map out her life, decade by decade, on Post-It notes stuck to her wall. Milestones each got a Post-It.  In her 30's, Melissa became a mom. She got into the labor room for her first-born and realized “I can't' do this.” But what do you do at that point? You power through.   After she had her son, she left corporate America because she didn't have childcare she trusted. So she became an entrepreneur and started to build a business. That got a Post-It.  Leaving corporate America came with trade-offs that she had to work through. She had to let go of the idea of having a dream house because that came with financial obligations that could only be met with the corporate job.  Then she became pregnant with identical twins and, even though it was a single event, they each got their own Post-It. With no history of twins on either side of their family, they were pretty shocked to learn...

Who is ready for some personal development and business inspiration?   I know I am!    Our guest today is the powerhouse business woman, Melissa Llarena.  Melissa Llarena is a high-performance coach to moms who have chosen the path of entrepreneurship as their best option for being both a fully present parent and ambitious woman. She is also the host of her own podcast called An Interview With Melissa Llarena where Melissa helps you go from imagining to living your best life. In her podcast, you will learn how to believe in yourself, unleash your biggest potential, leave perfectionism behind, and build a fulfilling life. As Melissa believes moms deserve the best, here is a taste of some of her featured guests: entrepreneurs (Suzy Batiz, Beth Comstock), creators (GaryVee, James Altucher), world changers (David Meltzer, Asha Curran), beacons of hope (Raphael Rowe, Dr. Joel Fuhrman), and world-class storytellers (Cal Fussman, Jordan Harbinger). Meanwhile, Melissa's background includes a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and she holds a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate based on Tony Robbins principles and Landmark Education insights. She is a native New Yorker who has lived/worked in Paris as well as London, and courageously relocated to Sydney, Australia with her family. Melissa is a mom to three boys; included in that mix are identical twins. What a boss mom! In this incredible episode we are diving into: - The benefit of surrounding yourself with the right people - Making Connections & Learning from others - How the way we were raised has power over our decisions - Figuring things out - no matter what - Bringing it all to the table - The value of YOU I can't wait for you to listen to this one and I want to hear your biggest takeaways!