Podcast appearances and mentions of rocky rivera

  A weekly magazine-style radio show featuring the voices and stories of Asians and Pacific Islanders from all corners of our community. The show is produced by a collective of media makers, deejays, and activists. Tonight on APEX Express Host Miko Lee continues the series on the Asian Prisoner Support Committee's campaign for justice for the APSC 4. The APSC4 are Ke Lam, Peejay Ai, Chanthon Bun and Maria Legarda. All are formerly incarcerated folx who have served their time and are currently incredibly valued leaders, advocates and healers in the community. They are also part of the staff of Asian Prisoner Support Committee and all are at risk of deportation.  In our most recent episode we showcased an interview with all of the APSC4, in our upcoming shows we will center on each person's individual story. Tonight we focus on Maria Legarde. Thank you to the HHREC Podcast for allowing us to re-air a portion of their show, which will be linked in our show notes. Maria's story is also featured in the zine we was girls together by Trần Châu Hà. The zine is on display in the Walking Stories exhibit at Edge on the Square in San Francisco Chinatown until February 28th.  For more information: Thank you to the HHREC Podcast for allowing us to rebroadcast part of their interview with Maria. Asian American Histories of Resistance timeline For tickets to Edge on the Square event APSC 4: https://action.18mr.org/pardonapsc3/ APSC Website: https://www.asianprisonersupport.com/ APSC Donation Page: https://donate.givedirect.org/?cid=13… APSC Get Involved Page: https://www.asianprisonersupport.com/apsc-4 Appreciation to the HHRC Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@thehhrecpodcast83   Twitter:   / asianprisonersc   Facebook:   / asianprisonersupportcommittee   Instagram:   / asianprisonersc     SHOW TRANSCRIPT: APSC4 Part 2: Maria's Story   Opening: [00:00:00] Apex Express Asian Pacific expression. Community and cultural coverage, music and calendar, new visions and voices, coming to you with an Asian Pacific Islander point of view. It's time to get on board the Apex Express.   Ayame Keane-Lee: [00:02:01] Thank you for joining us tonight on Apex Express. Welcome to the second part in our series on the Asian Prisoner Support Committee's Campaign for Justice for the APSC4. The APSC4 are Ke Lam, Peejay Ai , Chanthon Bun, and Maria Legarda. All are formerly incarcerated folks who have served their time and are currently incredibly valued leaders, advocates, and healers in the community. They are also part of the staff of Asian Prisoner Support Committee, and all are at risk of deportation. You can help today by urging Governor Newsom to pardon APSC4, and protect them from deportation, which you can find the links for in our show notes. In our most recent episode, we showcased an interview with all of the APSC4. In our upcoming shows, we will center on each person's individual story. Tonight we focus on Maria Legarda. Thank you to the HHREC podcast for allowing us to re-air a portion of their show, which will be linked in our show notes. Maria's story is also featured in the zine we was girls together by Trần Châu Hà. The zine is on display in the Walking Stories exhibit at Edge on the Square in San Francisco Chinatown until February 28th. You can come view the zine in person at the Walking Stories closing event, arriving with our stories on February 28th, 2025, at Edge on the Square in San Francisco, Chinatown, from 6 to 8 pm. Co presented by Asian Americans for Civil Rights and Equality, Asian Prisoner Support Committee and Edge on the Square, featuring readings from Asian Prisoner Support Committee's recent anthology, Arriving, Freedom Writings of Asian and Pacific Islanders, along with a panel discussion with the APSC4. Maria's story, the one we'll hear tonight, that is also featured in the exhibit, echoes the broader themes of the Arriving anthology, Where AAPI community members share their journeys through criminalization, deportation, and reentry. These narratives expose the deep entanglement of the prison and immigration systems while humanizing and making visible the resilience of those impacted. The link to RSVP for the event will be included in the show notes, where you can also choose to donate 25 and receive a copy of the anthology. this event marks the closing ceremony of the yearlong exhibition walking stories, but also a commitment to the ongoing work to center the voices and stories of system impacted individuals through the oral testimonies of those still incarcerated and the panel discussion with community leaders of APSC4, a space where storytelling is not just a practice of remembrance, but a demand for justice and an ongoing continuing call to action is created. So join us at arriving with our stories on February 28th, 2025, from 6 to 8 PM at Edge on the Square, 800 Grant Avenue, San Francisco, California. Find the full details in our show notes and at edge on the square. org. Now let's listen to Maria Legarda share her journey content warnings for mentions of sexual violence, substance abuse, death, incarceration, and trauma.   Maria Legarda: [00:05:10] So I grew up in the Philippines, with my grandparents. My first years had the fondest memories there. Couple of years later, we moved to our new home. Had my baby brother and we moved and a couple years later, my sister was born. She had a medical condition when she was born and I saw the change in our household. You know, as she got older, her condition worsened and it took a toll on our family slowly. I withdrew from my folks, detached and I, I built a resentment towards my parents. I was young, this is what we used to have. And this is what's happening now, what's going on. You know, there was no emotional support when we were growing up, me and my brother. The focus was, Trying to get my sister better, you know, but I was young, I was young, and my brother was young for us to understand, you know, what was going on in our household, and, that started the separation between me, my parents, It was tough growing up, I'm the eldest and so I had to be responsible, you know, for my younger siblings and I didn't know. I didn't know what to do. so. When I got older, you know, my dad urged me to go to the U. S., you know, years where our family was in debt. And when I came to the U. S., I saw the opportunity to help my parents actually get out of debt, and help them. I didn't know the cost, the burden that it's going to cost me. being in a different country, and supporting my family alone. And I did everything that I could to help my parents and my siblings, not be in poverty. Not live day to day and have a future for them. but at the same time, being a young adult in America, when I immigrated here, it was after 9/11. So there was a lot of, society was different at that time and finding my place during that time was hard, you know, and I was alone, I was working hard. I was stressed, you know, I didn't have much help. ,and that started the drug use. it was hard for me to assimilate into a culture that it just looks, it's great. You know, being free and being able to experience a lot of different things, but deep down, I don't know how to, Find my place here. You know, I didn't have friends and I have my cousin, And I was dealing with a lot of the tension at home, too You know my mom dealing with my sister's death She passed away Dealing with the money issues dealing with her marriage I was her emotional support, and as a young adult, I don't know how to provide that for my family. And so the drug use became my coping here in a new country with new friends, and I just got tired of being hurt and being pain and, you know, the trauma of losing my sister. How do I deal with that? Losing my family because we were lost, you know, with her. And how do you cope from that?    Drugs became my coping. I was numb. I was happy, you know, because I didn't hurt anymore. and, you know, being alone here in the U. S., I turned to online chatting. That's where friendships, I found friendships in there. I was very young and naive and, You know, I met a man online who said all the right things, words, that I felt loved and cared for, for somebody like me that was so desperate for emotional connection and just to feel loved that was huge for me to find that one person to give me that attention. And so for six months, you know, I felt I was at the happiest in my life because I had somebody to turn to, I had somebody to talk to. And, I felt that I, you know, I have somebody with me that understands what I'm going through, um, when my own family is not there for me because they're too busy trying to take care of their own needs. And, um, you know, we started talking and, after six months, he promised to, um, take me out on a date. and when we met, um, it was fun, you know, for the first time seeing somebody behind, you know, the, the conversations and seeing him in person, it was nice. It's real. Right. And, you know, everything happened so fast at that time that, I was excited, but then there's that fear and, you know, we were on our way to where we were going at, you For our first date and he veered off to a hotel and, you know, in my inexperience you know, I was hoping that, okay, why are we veering off to this? This wasn't part of what we talked about, but things were happening so fast and I was engaged in the conversations and what we're going to do, or we're just going to go and see. And, you know, I was very vulnerable and I went with it. And before I knew it. I was at the hotel, you know, with him and, I was hoping and praying that nothing bad would happen, but unfortunately, you know, I was alone and knowing that it was just me and him soon enough, the inevitable would happen. And our first meeting, our first date, I was raped, you know, and, all the signs were there, you know, that desperate for that human connection and that, you know, I trusted him. I trusted him that, you know, he was a good person, but it happened, after that I went home and I told myself that it didn't happen. Pretended that it didn't happen. my mind and my body just disassociated, you know, from what just happened and, you know, went to bed the next day, went to work, like it never happened, like nothing happened. That intensified my drug use. It was my way of coping. Every time I hurt, every time I'm in pain, I feel pain, I feel hurt. I turned to drugs because it made me numb and it made me function. You know, I am able to function and continue on with the next day. Why? Because I have a family who's waiting for me, that depends on me, and I need to take care of them. and that's how it was for me.    For the next months, few months later, I found out that I was pregnant from the rape. And when I found out I was pregnant, I stopped using. You know, I was torn and at the same time I was still hoping there was still that small hope that what I had with him was real and I was suffering. Now I know that back then I was suffering from post traumatic, battered women's syndrome. I never got help from what happened that day. and so with the baby I have this, thought that maybe if he knew that I was pregnant, that he would come back to me. That's how my mindset was. I wanted my rapist to come back into my life. That's how desperate I was, you know, was alone. And I wasn't in the right state of mind, you know, with deep in my addiction, not being able to think rationally. By the time I, I asked, you know, for help, I asked my parents if they could, um, come and visit me here in the United States. I didn't know how to tell my mom about my addiction, about the rape, that I just needed them and they couldn't be there for me. And with everything else that's going on in my life, I hit, finally hit my rock bottom and I relapse, I relapse and I used, and me using far along in my pregnancy. That night induced my pregnancy, um, induced labor. And so the following morning, I went into premature labor. Again, I was alone in my room when they induced labor. I was in my bathroom and I gave birth to my son. I got him, picked him up, wrapped him in a towel, and when he wasn't breathing, I panicked. Wrapped him in a towel and put him in the room. And after that I went to go take care and get ready for work. What am I supposed to do with my baby not breathing? got ready for work, called the cab so I can go to work. I didn't make it to work because um, the cab driver took me to the hospital because I was so pale and I lost so much blood. And, um, so I stayed in the hospital and later on, um, medical staff was there. and, you know, the cops were there and I was arrested, I was sentenced to 25 years to life, for the death of my son.    I was 24 when I sat in the holding cell of California's biggest women's prison sitting there thinking, this is what. Life is going to be like for me. What is life going to be like for me? How did I get here, you know, and I was, I was in so much denial. You know, I was in so much denial I don't even know where to start. Because at that time, sitting there at that holding cell, I was still in a victim mode. You know, I knew I was responsible for the death of my son, but the extent of it, I couldn't even grasp the severity of how much harm I've caused. And for 14 years, I immersed myself in self help groups to make sure that I understood what happened that night, what happened at that time, you know, 25 years, there's no amount of punishment that I think would, would equate because I give that punishment to myself every single day. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think like, okay, today he would have been 19 years old. I wondered if he was playing basketball, would I take him to football games? Would I take him to baseball games? Like, what would it be like for him? You know, when my parents came to visit, Those were questions like my dad would want it to know, my mom would want it to know, and it's the big elephant in the room, we don't talk about it. But today, um, I hold, I am, you know, I hold responsibility, accountability for all my actions that led to that dreadful night. You know, when, when I went to board and I was found suitable, you know, one of the, one of the programs that, really helped me was, um, We're just to life, you know, forgiveness I have to find forgiveness in myself for what I've done for my past decisions in order for me to move on and make a difference in, you know, for people. If I wanted to help people, how am I supposed to help people if I can't even start healing within me? you know, took all the self help groups so I could have that understanding of where do I need to start in order for me to have a future and so that people around me, I wouldn't hurt anymore the people, those people that are around me. My family, my friends, even people that I don't know that when they see me, they wouldn't get scared of the person that they knew came from prison. You know, that was sentenced to 25 to life for killing her own son. I don't want to be that person. So. I took advantage of all the groups that, you know, were, were offered to us and I earned that second chance. when I went to board and to really deep, look deep in, deep down and where was that anger coming from? You know, why was it so hard for me to ask for help? And the biggest part that I learned was stepping out of denial, acknowledging that the rape happened, that it wasn't my fault, that I could overcome that and, I could take control back, you know, take that back and turn my life around and use that. You know, motivate myself to, find healing and forgiveness.    Today I'm a re-entry consultant for APSC. I help folks that are coming home from jails, from prisons, from detention centers. I help them navigate, you know, in their re entry. You know, coming home from detention, so after I, you after I paroled from CCWF, I knew that I would be, I had an ice hold and I would be detained and ICE came and picked me up in CCWF in 2019. You know, the first day of being free, I was welcomed with shackles, with handcuffs and a waist chain around my waist chain. And, I was walking, you know, into a white van and I drove off to the Holding cell, the ice holding cell, and I was on the road for 72 hours back and forth because they, they have nowhere to, put me, all the ice facility detention centers were, I guess, they were packed and they have no room for me. So they finally made room for me and I was in the Delanto where I stayed for 11 months. And. You know, when I was there, I'm just like Bun said, once they get you there, they ask you sign the paperwork, you deport, or you want to fight your case. And I've met Anoop, Anoop prepared me, you know, for when that day comes, like I just needed to let them know that, no, you're fighting because you have people, the community, the family here fighting alongside you. And that's what I told them. I said, no, I'm not. signing, I will go through the process and it was very, it was a very different experience, you know, with being sentenced to 25 years to life than being told, you have to sign this paper because I'm deporting you back to your country because you're not a citizen. You know, they don't see the changed person. They only see the person that was not born here in the United States. They don't see the person that has a family in the community waiting outside that building. They only see a convicted felon that has an aggravated felony that's not a U.S. citizen that needs to get deported back to the country where they were born. So knowing that every day, and I've always said it, you know, every moment in detention center is like a cliffhanger moment. You'll never know when your day is going to be when you don't come back to the dorm and you get shipped off and get sent to a plane. And then next thing you know, the next phone call your family gets is that you're in a country where you don't know where you're going. So that's what it was like in the detention center.    You know, it was the onset of COVID when I was able to file, a writ because of my medical condition. And by the grace of God, you know, with the community behind me, Anoop too, was very instrumental. I was released Friday when everybody was telling me that you're not going to get released. You know, the cutoff date, the cutoff time is six o'clock and you're not going to get released and you're not going to get a bond hearing. You're not going to you're not going to get released from here. There's just no hope for you. You know, that's what they tell us in, in detention, you know, there's the chances of us being released from detention. Once ICE has a hold of you is very, very slim. So for us, that's. small hope is really just a teeny tiny window for us. But it takes a community, you know, to work together to get us all out. And I have that support with Anoop, with APSC. So at six o'clock on a Friday, when they said that the judge is not going to rule today, you're going to have to wait. And the last, The last process already for people that were getting released were already done. There's, you're, that's it. You're not gonna get it. But 6:30 came. It was after count time. All the tablets in the detention center was ringing and it was a phone call for me and all I saw was my grandma on the other line saying that, she was crying, crying, hysterically crying. And so my heart dropped because I thought, okay, this is it. I'm getting deported, what I didn't know, was Anoop and my grandma were constantly in communication trying to get me out and the judge made a decision a little after six that before five o'clock Saturday morning, they are to release me. And, it took the community, you know, to get, to make that happen. And on April of 2019, I was released from Adelanto and I was released to Los Angeles. I couldn't, parole to San Francisco, to the Bay area because, um, of COVID shelter in place.    Ayame Keane-Lee: [00:23:30] You are listening to 94.1 KPFA and 89.3 KPFB in Berkeley, 88.1 KFCF in Fresno, 97.5 K248BR in Santa Cruz, 94.3 K232FZ in Monterey, and online worldwide at kpfa.org. We'll be right back to Maria's story after we listen to “7,000 Miles” by Ruby Ibarra featuring Ann One.   MUSIC   That was “7,000 Miles” by Ruby Ibarra, featuring Anne One. You are listening to Apex Express. Now let's get back to Maria Legarda ‘s story.   Phillip Winnick: [00:28:19] Um, Maria, how long did you know Anoop throughout this process when you were in the detention center? Um, and how did you manage to get to San Francisco?    Maria Legarda: [00:28:31] So I've known Anoop since 2015, end of 2015, beginning of 2016, right before board. I needed to seek his advice about, you know, my ICE detainer and how long. Like what the process is going to be, if I choose to fight it, if I don't fight it. And around that time, you know, we just had a new president in the Philippines and what would it look like for me if I don't win my case? Like, what are the chances, you know? So that's how we started corresponding, 2015, I prepped for board and then, um, when I got out in 2019, Prior to that, 2018, we started, corresponding frequently, more frequently because, My board date, um, is coming up, and, you know, when they ask me about questions about immigration, like, what do I say, Anoop, like, because the board wants to know everything, just like Bun mentioned before. They want to see the big picture. If we grant you parole, what are you going to do? So when it comes to immigration, like, what are your plans? So I have to have a realistic, it needs to be realistic for me. You know, there's no ifs and buts. I have to like, Anoop, what do I do? And if it's not possible, then I have to have a plan B, you know? So that's how we started corresponding and Anoop guided me in a lot of my preparation. and before I went to Adelanto, he prepped me step by steps on what it It's gonna look like for me once ICE picks me up and everything was on point, you know, they came and got me an R& R, I left around nine o'clock, the white van came and picked me up, I went to Fresno holding cell from there, they're gonna, assign me a, facility, you know, so that's how it started. And then when I ended up in Adelanto after 72 hours, they finally were able to locate me just like, when, you know, Anoop has a way of, you know, it's like a, you know, We have a GPS within us and Anoop just knows where to find us. So finally, you know, my grandma was telling me that Anoop told her that I was in Adelanto and, you know, later on I'm going to be in the system. And so, when I got there, everything that Anoop told me to, like, when you get there and they ask you for your signature, you tell them that, you're fighting your case, this is what's happening. You give them my number and, you know, so that's the step by step process.    And, that's, that's how Anoop got me, situated when I got to Adelanto and in preparing for my, my hearing, he walked me through it too. from the Bay Area, I was all the way to like, what, San Bernardino County in Adelanto and he was guiding me every step of the way. He had some, The Advancing Justice LA kind of like helped me, you know, with representing. Um, so I have extra help, and then preparing for CAT hearing, preparing for, just, you know, the whole time that I was in Adelanto, I was in constant communication with Anoop. Sometimes it's not even about legal support, just emotional support. Like, okay. Anoop you have to, you have to just tell me. Tell me what I'm looking at. Tell me what I need to do. What are my next steps? What are my chances? And that really helped a lot, you know, stepping out of denial. That was my life story or, you know, I'm always in denial. And so this time, like, no, Anoop I need to know, like, what am I looking at? and so when. when it wasn't going, it didn't look well, you know, for me, as far as my hearing, it gave me all my probabilities, And I know what I need to do. So that's how we, I've always, um, until today, I still seek Anoop's advice about everything. you know, not being able to get my ID, like Anoop would be my next step, not being able to get, I said, some paperwork, some documents. So every step of the way in this whole journey, he's always been our, You know, emotional support, legal support, in everything.   Anoop Prasad: [00:32:40] I think what's really amazing and special at APSC is I met most of the staff at APSC when they were incarcerated. And most of the APSC staff first met each other in prison, often when they were just kids. And I think that makes APSC just like such a special place. Um, and I met Maria through Nia Norn, who's our co director and met Maria at CCW Afton prison. Um, and I'd been writing Nia about her ICE hold and her deportation when she was serving a life sentence. and then she over mail introduced me to Maria and I started writing with Maria. and there's this ripple effect of hope and freedom from every person who gets out and Maria has helped so many other people and she got out, get out of prison and out of ICE and same with Bun.That's helped so many other folks in San Quentin and throughout the entire prison system get out. And so it's really amazing seeing folks come home and then come back to get other folks out.    Phillip Winnick: [00:33:33] Yeah, it's incredible. Um, Maria, why don't you tell us about some of the experiences you had, um, helping people out with the APSC?   Maria Legarda: [00:33:41] Oh, where do I start?    Phillip Winnick: [00:33:43] Most memorable, I guess.    Maria Legarda: [00:33:44] Yeah, the most memorable. you know, I've been sober for 20 plus years now and, one of my clients, um, when I introduced myself to her, I always introduced myself as a formerly incarcerated individual because I don't want them to feel that I'm, you know, most of my clients have had traumas and have been judged for a very long time. And I don't want them to think that I'm law enforcement or anything like that. And so I always tell them, oh, hi, my name is Maria and I'm formerly incarcerated. I served 14, 15 years and they're like, what? And so that opens up, you know the, the door and it becomes an easy conversation to have. And so when one of my clients, she told me that Maria, I'm 20 months sober. I was like, Oh, I'm so happy for you. And she's like, really? It's like, yes. Don't you know that it's an accomplishment? It's like, why? It's like, Oh my God, you just give me one day. I'd be the happiest person. And she said, why? Because I'm 20 years sober, 20 plus years sober. You're 20 months. You're going to get to where I'm at. And so that started that conversation and that just bond between us. She's, you know, she, she's worked hard and she needed some help in different aspects of, you know, her trying to get her life together. Like Maria, I need to get my kids. Um, I'm in the process. What do I do? It's like, okay, don't worry. We're going to find you some resources. We're going to find you some, help with the law clinics and see who can take your case. And we'll start from that. It's like, okay. she needs housing. We signed her up for a housing and, it didn't work out for her because she already participated in a similar program. So what we did was, okay, maybe we should start, you know, asking your CPS and this is what we're going to do. So having case plan goals in order for her to see what would best suit her, what she wants to do in life and what she wants for her kids. we worked on that, you know. and her desire to be a substance abuse counselor.​​ The team, actually, I had talked to [unintelligible]. We need to help her get enrolled and she doesn't have, financially, she's struggling. She has three kids on coming back to her. You know, she's getting her custody, her three kids custody back. So, you know, her hands are gonna be full. we need to help her. What do we do? He's like Maria, enroll her. Like, I can? Like, yes, enroll her. I was like, really? I can enroll her? And to me, when my boss said I can enroll her, I was like, oh my god, that's like, you know, you're giving something. Like, that's a gift. It, it doesn't cost a lot, but that's her future. That's the kid's future. And her having, you know, a career after that. She's been on drugs for as long as she remembers, right? So that's the greatest achievement for her at that time to be a substance abuse counselor. And just like, Maria, can you please help me find a class and to be able to do that? That's why I'm doing the work that I do because if I can make a difference, even just by enrolling them, you know, what other programs do that? I don't know if they do that, out of their organization's pocket to sponsor somebody, you know, for higher education. So that was one of my memorable moments helping one of my clients get her classes to become a substance abuse counselor. Thank you.    You know, and then the other one, we had one of our clients struggling with substance abuse and, his wife called me and she's not actually our client, but you know, we're all about family reunification. So if the wife, if the kids are having trouble and they have my phone number, they can reach out to us and we'll help them. Right. And she reached out and she felt really this burden of guilt because. Like Maria, I don't want to turn him in, but like he was drunk and being a, being a domestic violence survivor, right? I told her like, look, the first, that's the best, like, he's not going to be mad at you because you put your daughter's care and your care in your life first before anything and because I know he's a good father to her and a good man to you, besides that, you know, addiction, it creeps up on you and it crept up on him. And I said, you did the right thing. You did the right thing for him, because when the time comes, you were his accountable, accountability partner. So, you guys are both responsible for your daughter, and you did the right thing. And just walking her through that, because the guilt that was eating her up, because the whole family's mad at her because she put him there, she shouldn't have to go through that alone. You know, so, just taking the time, throughout the week and checking up on her. Do you need food? I can, we have pantry available for you. like, do you need diapers formula for the kid, for your daughter? Like, we have somewhere, a place that you can go to, to get some help in these trying times. And she's like, okay, Maria, I'm going. So other than the emotional support and you know, the, other things that she needs, just getting her through that toughest time, there's just no, there's no, amount of like, there's no satisfaction other than seeing a mother and the daughter being together and then now reunited with, you know, them reunited as a family.    Phillip Winnick: [00:39:19] The feeling of you helping people who feel alone in a situation that you are similar to, and that you felt alone in, what is that feeling of being able to give these, these people somebody to talk to who have been through what, what they've been through?   Maria Legarda: [00:39:38] You know, it feels good is not even like amount to it because, um, I always wondered what if somebody, you know, what if somebody took their time, you to ask me, like, Maria, is everything okay? I felt like that could have. You know, that could have made a difference. Maybe not, but I wouldn't know, right. Because of what I went through, but I don't want that to be me. So when people come my way, I, I encounter people and, you know, I get a sense of like, what's going on, you know, like what's going on in your life. Like, you know, to have a conversation and just get to know them just a little bit, Then that's when I know, you know, like, okay, this is what they're going through. So let me just walk them through it. Why? Because some people don't even know that they need that at that moment, at that time. You know, I, I didn't know that maybe, you know, if one of the lifer OGs, you know, and in the beginning of my time, if she didn't make an effort and say like, baby, you know, you can be more than just this around you. There's hope out there for you. And that, gave me that small window of hope that maybe there is a chance for me to get out of this place and see myself outside these walls, right? So when I encounter people and I know that they've been in situations, I don't know exactly what it is, I'll just give some time and just get to know, talk to them just a little bit. Just a little bit to see, like, what is it that you need? Maybe that's, you know, a few seconds would make a difference, right? So if that's what it needs, if that's what somebody needs, a few seconds of my time to deter them from making that one major, decision in their life that's gonna alter the course, right, of their life and go down that path that I went down on, like, that I've gone through, if I can prevent them from that. Then I did my job for that day, not my job, but I did what I'm supposed to do, you know, I felt like I went through all these obstacles in life because I have a purpose now, you know, and it's not about saving everybody, but just being there for that person at that moment when it counts.   Ayame Keane-Lee: [00:42:01] We'll be right back after the next song, “GRLGNG” by Rocky Rivera.   MUSIC   You are listening to Apex Express. That was “GRLGNG” by Rocky Rivera. Thanks again to the HHREC podcast for allowing us to re-air a portion of their show. Let's get back to it.   Phillip Winnick: [00:46:22] That's incredible. And I'm so happy for you that you found that for yourself. Why don't you, you were, you were talking about the support groups a little bit earlier. Why don't you, uh, tell me more about that?    Maria Legarda: [00:46:33] Oh, so APSC, created, me and my director created, community and, re entry empowerment, which stands for CARE. It's APSC's first women's support group for formerly incarcerated women and transgender folks here in the Bay Area. And. You know, after years of incarceration, you know, navigating in, society, right, coming back home, transitioning into society, there's a lot of overwhelming experiences and obstacles that we all go through. And so I know a lot of people. Women need that support, but where do we get that support? So we've been in a lot of re entry groups, support groups, and men have it, like they have it it's, you know, it's available for them, but what about the women? And so when we started it, um, we started with 24 people, asking is this something that you're interested in? And majority of them said, yes, like, we need this because women wear many hats, you know, some are daughters, sisters, mothers, grandmothers, and there's a lot in their lives that they go through. and as formerly incarcerated, not everybody understands what it's like. So for us, you know, it's, we live right next to each other, right? If I need help and I need support, I'm going to knock on the door like, Hey, you got a few minutes. Like, cause I need to talk right now. Like, okay, come on. We'll walk down the yard, walk down and hash it out, talk and, you know, what's going on with you. It's like, I'm going through it. We can just talk. But now being out here, some live in the Bay area, some live in Antioch, some live in Pittsburgh, some live in Dinuba, some live up the mountains, like how do you find that support? Right? Some are tech challenged. They don't know how to zoom. They don't know how to FaceTime. So how do you do that? So we. made it possible for them, you know, to find, to have that space where we can meet every month and check in and see what's happening with it, with each other. You know, what's going on? What kind of support do you need? What resources do you need? Who do you need to get connected with? And, you know, being in that support group for six months, it's like I never left my sisters inside. You know, the bond that we formed, and I know Bun can, you know, relate to this, the bond that we formed, you know, in those walls, it just continued in that Zoom space, you know, and it, recharged, that motivation, that encouragement that we've always looked out for each other when we were inside. So now that we're out here, like, no, it doesn't mean that just because we're all out that we have to stop. So that space being created for us, we were able to reconnect and help each other out and playing phone tag and have text thread messages and emails. And so it just needed to get started. Like, no, this is what we're going to do. This is how we can be there for each other. And so the program was a success. You know, we graduated in December. We started with 24, but due to work conflicts, we graduated with 19 women, who participated and completed the program. We had three in person events. Their whole family came with us with a graduation. And the one thing we wanted for our graduates, our participants, is that to spend a weekend with their family without having to worry about, Oh my God, we're going to have to travel. It's going to cost us money. No. We wanted them to spend time with each other as a unit, as a family, because of all those years that they were separated. Right. And not only that, be in the same space with the sisters that they've left, that they've been celebrating Christmases for two decades that's how much time these women have spent with each other. And now that they're out, they just needed to find a place to, you know, have a reunion. But at the same time, continue what we have when we were inside. Cause it doesn't mean it has to stop. So now with the success of the program, We're getting emails and we're getting, you know, when can we start the next group? When can I participate? When can I come over? Am I going to be able to come to the Bay Area reunion? So there's that hope, you know, that they're not alone because, like we know now it's, you know, these are challenging and difficult times and we're here, you know, we we just. Don't leave any of our sisters behind we just come on we got you just like we've always had each other's backs.   Ayame Keane-Lee: [00:51:18] You can learn more about Maria's story in the zine we was girls together by Trần Châu Hà. It portrays the story that you just heard along with more details. Maria's story is one of many. She's a survivor of gender based violence, forced to migrate to the United States due to the economic consequences of Western imperialism in the Philippines. Migrant women like Maria experience the compounding forces of colonialism, border exclusion, and economic exploitation in the United States, making them even more vulnerable to abusive relationships. In their attempts to survive, these women are usually met with criminal punishment rather than support or care. An estimated 94 percent of those in women's facilities are abuse survivors. In the absence of state sanctioned support, these women turn to one another, building their own networks of care and advocacy for each other's freedom. These networks illuminate the nature in which feminist care work is inherently a practice of racial solidarity between Black, Brown, Indigenous, and API women. The zine we was girls together, seeks to honor Maria's story alongside that of her community of incarcerated women, documenting their solidarity campaigns, mutual aid projects, and life affirming relationships to one another. Thank you so much for joining us. We hope you will have the opportunity to join the live event on February 28th and to take action in support of the APSC4. You can also find out more about Maria and the APSC4 in the Asian American Histories of Resistance Timeline that is both online and in augmented reality form in the gallery. This timeline spans from 1873 to present day. We have interviewed scholar Helen Zia on Apex Express multiple times. She talks about moments that are MIH, or missing in history. In the timeline, Acre, Asian Americans for Civil Rights and Equality, presents moments of our Asian American story that are MIH. One of those stories is about Maria. Apex Express is a proud member of ACRE, Asian Americans for Civil Rights and Equality. We are committed to fighting for a more just and equitable world. As Grace Lee Boggs said, We are the leaders we've been waiting for.   Miko Lee: [00:53:26] Please check out our website, kpfa.org. To find out more about our show tonight. We thank all of you listeners out there. Keep resisting, keep organizing, keep creating and sharing your visions with the world because your voices are important. APEX Express is created by Miko Lee, Jalena Keane-Lee, Preeti Mangala Shekar, Anuj Vaidya, Swati Rayasam, Aisa Villarosa, Estella Owoimaha-Church, Gabriel Tangloao, Cheryl Truong and Ayame Keane-Lee.    The post APEX Express – 2.13.25 – Arriving APSC4 Maria's Story appeared first on KPFA.

A weekly magazine-style radio show featuring the voices and stories of Asians and Pacific Islanders from all corners of our community. The show is produced by a collective of media makers, deejays, and activists. In this vintage APEX episode, Host editor Swati Rayasam continues to highlight the podcast Continental Shifts created by bi-coastal educators Gabriel Anthony Tanglao and Estella Owoimaha- Church. They embark on a voyage in search of self, culture and the ancestors. Last time we featured the ConShifts podcast, Gabriel and Estella gave a quick introduction and talked about wayfinding in the context of their work. Tonight on the podcast they're talking about anti-blackness in the PI community with Courtney Savali Andrews and Jason Fennel. Just a quick note that both Courtney and Jason's audio quality isn't the best on this podcast. So it might get a little bumpy. Enjoy the show. Episode Transcripts – Anti-blackness in the PI Community with Courtney-Savali Andrews and Jason Finau Opening: [00:00:00] Apex Express Asian Pacific expression. Community and cultural coverage, music and calendar, new visions and voices, coming to you with an Asian Pacific Islander point of view. It's time to get on board the Apex Express.   Swati Rayasam: [00:00:35] Good evening everyone. You're listening to APEX express Thursday nights at 7:00 PM. My name is Swati Rayasam and I'm the special editor for this episode. Tonight, we're going to continue to highlight the podcast continental shifts created by bi-coastal educators Gabriel Anthony Tanglao and Estella Owemma Church who embark on a voyage in search of self, culture and the ancestors. Last time we featured the ConShifts podcast, Gabriel and Estella gave a quick introduction and talked about wayfinding in the context of their work. Tonight on the podcast they're talking about anti-blackness in the PI community with Courtney Savali Andrews and Jason Fennel. Just a quick note that both Courtney and Jason's audio quality isn't the best on this podcast. So it might get a little bumpy. Enjoy the show.   Courtney-Savali Andrews & intro music: [00:01:32] These issues are fluid, these questions are fluid. So I mean, I had to go and try get a PHD just to expand conversation with my family .   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:01:51] How do we uproot anti-blackness in API spaces? On today's episode, we explore this critical question with two incredible guests. Courtney and Jason share their stories, experiences, and reflections on ways our API communities can be more affirming of black identity and black humanity.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:02:13] What up, what up? Tālofa lava, o lo'u igoa o Estella. My pronouns are she/her/hers, sis, and uso.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:02:23] What's good, family? This is Gabriel, kumusta? Pronouns he/him.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:02:29] I have the great pleasure tonight of introducing our guest today, Jason Finau and Courtney-Savali Andrews. Jason is a social worker with a focus on mental health and substance abuse based in San Francisco. Courtney is an assistant professor of musicology at Oberlin College in Ohio. But I also want to be very intentional about not centering professions above who we are and who we come from. So I'm going to go to Jason first. Jason, please share with us who you are, how you identify and who are your people.   Jason Finau: [00:02:58] Hi everyone. Estella, Gabriel, again, thank you so much for hosting us in this space. My name is Jason. I identify as black and Samoan. My father is a black American from Mississippi and my mother is from American Samoa, specifically in the village of Nua and Sektonga. As a military, brat kind of grew up back and forth between Hawaii and Southern California. So I have a very strong love for the ocean and where my peoples come from. So, very excited to be on your podcast.   Courtney-Savali Andrews: [00:03:27] [Speaking Samoan] Tālofa lava I am Courtney-Savali Andrews from Seattle, Washington. I identify as an African American Samoan. My father is from Seattle, born and raised in Seattle, from Opelika, Alabama. That's where his roots are, and my mother is from American Samoa from the villages of Nwoma Sitsona and Aminawe. And Jason and I are maternal cousins.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:03:59] I did not know that. [Laughs] Good to know. Actually, just for some context, Jason and Courtney, you were one of my blessings in 2020. I received an email message about a space called Black + Blue in the Pacific, and it was a flier for a Zoom gathering with other black Pacifica peoples and I jumped on the call, not knowing what to expect, but it was only one of two times I can remember in my entire life feeling truly seen as black Samoan, and not having to separate those two or shrink any part of myself or who I am. So Jason, can you please share what the space is about and how it came to be?   Jason Finau: [00:04:42] Sure. That warms my heart that that was your reaction to participating in that space. So this was kind of born out of all of the protests against racial injustices across the country, especially with George Floyd and the other countless, unfortunately, countless deaths of black men and women at the hands of police brutality. And EPIC, which is the Empowering Pacific Island Communities, a nonprofit organization out in Long Beach reached out to me to kind of talk about how we can address anti-blackness within the Pacific Island communities in speaking with Tavae Samuelu, who is the executive director of EPIC and Teresa Siagatonu who is an amazing creative poet, artist, everything. We got together, started talking about like, well what was the real purpose for this group? Why are they reaching out to me specifically in the work that I do? And I think that part of that came from the fact that I am a licensed clinical social worker and that I do have a background in mental health and working in trauma, generational trauma and looking at how we as human beings look to take care of ourselves in a community that we as black human beings look to take care of ourselves in a community that doesn't value who we are and what that looks like for those of us who belongs to two different communities, one being the black and then the other being the Pacific Island community. And then even, you know, bringing that down even further to the, within the Pacific Island community, being in the Polynesian community and then being specifically in the Samoan community.   So in talking with that, the first person I thought about when they asked me to facilitate a group where we can gather other individuals who identified as being black and Pacific Islander, the first person I thought about co-facilitating this group with was my cousin Courtney-Savali Andrews. Just given the fact that she has done so much in research and education and understanding about PI cultures, with the work that she's done here in the States, as well as out in the Pacific, out in New Zealand and Samoa, and I'll let her talk more about that, but this is another part of the reasons why I thought about her instantly, and also because she and I have had these conversations about what it means to be black and Samoan, and to identify as both, and to sometimes have to navigate being one over the other in spaces, and even in spaces where It's a white space and having to figure out like which one are we like code switching between. So in thinking about this group and in thinking about this space, you know, one of the larger conversations that came out of those who engage in this group, that we have every second Tuesday of the month is that representation of seeing other folks who are also black and Pacific Islander who aren't related to us. And so these are the conversations that Courtney and I have had. I've had the same conversations with other first cousins who also happened to be black and Samoan, but I've never actually have met like one hand I can count on how many times I've met another person who identified as black and Pacific Islander. And so being able to host this space and to focus it, to start off that focus on anti-blackness and to talk about how we're all working to deal with what it means to say Black Lives Matter when someone who visually presents as Samoan or someone who visually presents as Tongan or any other of the Pacific Islands. Like, what does it mean for them to say Black Lives Matter, when those of us who identify as both black and Pacific Islanders aren't really feeling how that message is as substantial as they may be trying to, to come across.   Being able to gather in a space where we see other folks who look like us, who shared experiences that were so similar to what we have shared and what we have gone but also very different. And looking at how, you know, some folks grew up identifying primarily with the Samoan culture, whereas other folks grew up primarily identifying with the black culture and not being able to reconcile either one. So seeing that spectrum of experiences was able to provide us with an opportunity to grow for each other, to support each other, and to learn from each other. I was very thankful and grateful for having, for EPIC being able to step in and seeing that as an organization that does focus on empowering Pacific Island communities that they understood that when we look at the micro communities within that larger macro level of a PI community, looking at that individual black and PI cohort and understanding that that experience is different than the general experience. And so they wanted to make sure that we're facilitating those conversations, that we're holding safe spaces for those conversations, and that we're encouraging those conversations. So I really do appreciate them so much for that, and not taking it upon themselves to tell us how we should be engaging in these conversations, how we should be feeling, and asking us what we should be doing to get PIs to understand the impact of anti-blackness, within the, in the PI community for us personally.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:09:29] And as you were talking, I was laughing at myself thinking, yeah, I can count on one hand too, aside from my brothers, the other black Samoans or Polys I know, and I had an experience in college as a freshman, Cal State Northridge, in my EOP cohort. I met another Leilani, Leilani is my middle name, I met another Leilani who happened to be half black, half Samoan, also from South LA. And we saw each other and ran to each other like we were long lost siblings or something [laughs] and we just knew, and it was the first time I had seen someone who looked like me that was not The Rock. [Jason laughs] Like, the only person to look to, that was yeah. I don't know, it wasn't enough to have, you know, The Rock as my only representation. I appreciate him, but definitely wasn't enough. And shout out to EPIC and Tavae, because I think I mentioned earlier, being in Black + Blue was, it was like the second time in my life. I can say that I felt seen and one of the first times I felt seen as Samoan was at 30. I happen to be in a workshop led by Tavae on organizing PI communities. That was the first time I met her, but I left her session like in tears because I felt a whole part of whatever was happening in the conversation, the festivities, I could be like my full self.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:11:00] And those spaces are so important for us, right? To have that community, to be able to connect. So Jason, I appreciate you sharing that origin story of Black + Blue. And my question for Courtney actually, to bring in some of your experience into the space. Why was it important to create or forge a space such as this one with Black + Blue?   Courtney-Savali Andrews: [00:11:22] Well, I will say that I've had the privilege of a different experience having met several African American and African Pacific Islanders in Seattle through my experience in the US. And I mean, this goes all the way back to my childhood. I went to a predominantly, and this is going to sound pretty interesting, but in the 70s, I went to a predominantly Filipino-Italian parish that was budding a Samoan congregation and that particular congregation was connected to the Samoan congregational church that my mother was affiliated with. So, of course, this is family based, right? But growing up in that particular setting, I was affiliated with many cultural dance groups, particularly Polynesian dance troupes and such, and through those various communities I would run into many particularly Samoan and African American children. So that was something that was pretty normalized in my upbringing. On the other side of that, my father's family was very instrumental in various liberation movements, affiliations with the Black Panthers. And so I also grew up in a very black nationalist leaning family. So, I mean, I couldn't run away from just anything that had to do with considering identity politics and what it meant to be “both and” so the wrestle started really early with me. I also want to say that because I was indoctrinated in so many questions of what it meant to be whatever it is that I was at the time. Cause you know these issues are fluid and the questions are fluid. So that extended all the way throughout even my educational journey having pursued not just a musical degree, but also degrees in cultural studies. It was the only place that I could really wrestle and engage with literature that I was already introduced to as a child, but to, you know, have opportunities to deep dive into that literature, highlighting certain figures, engaging with the writers of these literature. So by the time I got to college, it was piano performance and Africana studies for me. In the arts, through my music through musical theater performance, my Polynesian dance background, it all just kind of jumbled up into this journey of always seeking spaces that allow for that type of inquiry.   So, after undergrad, this turns into a Fullbright study and then eventually a PHD in Music and Pacific and Samoan studies. In that journey, I did not think that the outcome would be as rich as it became. I did seek out one of my supervisors, who was Teresia Teaiwa. A very prominent poet, spoken word artist and scholar, and she was the founder of the Pacific Studies program at Victoria University in Wellington, New Zealand. So I went to study underneath her. She actually is African American Banaban so from the Kiribati islands and amongst her like astounding output of work, she reached out to me and four other African American Pacific women historian artists, like we all share the same general identities to start an organization, or at least an affinity conversationalist group, called Black Atlantic, Blue Pacific. This was back in 2014 when she started the conversation with us again, I had an opportunity to now, across the world, connect with other African American Pacific peoples that were rooted in other spaces. So I was the one who was, you know, born and raised in the US But then we had Joy Enomoto an African American Hawaiian who's based in Hawaii. Ojeya Cruz, African American [?] and LV McKay, who is African American Maori based in Aotearoa. So we got together and started having very specific conversations around our responses to Black Lives Matter as it was gaining much momentum in 2015. And it was my supervisor Teresia, that said, “You have to open up about how you feel,” and particularly because I was so far away from what home was for me, she offered up a space for me to not only explore further what my response to the movement was, but also just my identity in tandem with the rest of them. So we actually began to create performance pieces along with scholarly writing about that particular moment and went to this festival of Pacific arts in 2016 which was in Guam and pretty much had a very ritualistic talk. It wasn'tinteractive, it was our space to share what our experience and stories were with an audience who did not have a chance to engage with us on it. It was us just claiming our space to say that we exist in the first place. And that was a very powerful moment for me and for the others. So to connect this back to four years later, when Jason reaches out about Black + Blue in the Pacific, the name of this group actually came from the publication that we put together for that 2016 FESPAC presentation. It really was a moment that I actually didn't think would extend out in the ways that it has, but it also felt like a duty to extend that conversation and Teresia Teaiwa has since passed, but it felt like, you know, this is what, this is the work that, that I've given you to do. So it just felt very natural to join with my cousin in this work and realize what this conversation could be across the water again, back home in the US.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:18:09] Listening to you I was I don't want to say envious, but I didn't have that same experience growing up. And, you know, oftentimes I wonder where I would be in my identity crisis, which seems like it has lasted for so long, if I had shared in similar experience as a child. I grew up in predominantly black communities and all black apostolic school and I just, I didn't have other, I mean I ran up to the one girl I saw as a college freshman and squeezed her. So that tells you a lot, but I shared similar experiences as an undergrad or in college in majoring in black studies, majoring in theater, musical theater and that being the space where I got to at least express some of who I am or who I want it to be, but definitely trying to create what you experienced or had for my daughter now, trying to make sure that she gets to be as pro black and black and proud as she wants to be rocking her Angela Davis fro while also wearing her Puletasi, trying really hard to make sure that she has all of that. Growing up, I never felt like I was welcomed in Samoan or Poly spaces or fully in black spaces either. I felt like folks had to make a point to other me or erase part of my identity for their convenience. And it's only now that I am learning who my Samoan relatives are, what are our namesake or the villages that my family comes from and reconnecting with aunts and uncles and my grandparents through the powers of Facebook. But over the years, it's been a long like push and pull. And it's because our last names are, our names are very distinctive. And so when you put that name in there suddenly like, “Oh, I found all these relatives.” Like I didn't have to do the ancestry thing because you put the name in on Facebook and all of a sudden you find all your cousins and you're seeing childhood pictures where like your own kid can't tell who's who so I know we're related. You know what I mean? But anyway, like over the years it's been this like back and forth of me deleting relatives and then, you know, letting them come back because I don't know how to broach the conversation about their anti-blackness. I don't know what to tell them when they post something that is very racist and absolutely not okay. And I don't know what to do other than, you know, I'm just going to delete you and then maybe 2 years from now, I'll, as you as a friend, again, we could try this one more time. And I have one aunt in particular, a great aunt who there was just a misunderstanding. I didn't respond to a message right away after not seeing her since I was maybe 5 or 6. I can't remember. But in my 20s, I'm getting married, she's sending me messages and I didn't respond right away. And the response I got included her calling me the N word. And so then I'm like, “Oh, okay.” I was like, trying to open up and let you all back into my life. And here we are again. So I'm done. And so I spent a lot of time, like picking and choosing who I was going to let in or not and so I've started this journey at 30. I want to learn my language. I want to figure out who is in my family tree. Who are my people? Where do I come from? And be selective about who I choose to actually grow relationships with. Like I can still know who they are, where they come from, where I come from, what my roots are, and also make choices about who gets to be in my life. And I'm only just now realizing that at 32, as I try to learn my language and reclaim what is mine, what belongs to me. All of that aside, can you relate to any of that? And if so, is there an experience that you feel comfortable sharing?   Courtney-Savali Andrews: [00:22:00] I absolutely relate to that, to the extent, I mean, I had to go and try to get a PhD just to expand conversation with my family and I had to do it across the water. I got to a point where, just asking questions, about, you know, cultural matters, or even trying to navigate my way through a family event, while I've had many wonderful experiences, just trying to, again dig deep to understand why are we who we are, why are our family issues what they are those kinds of things, I would always hit a particular wall that was met with either like, “Why do you even care?” Or “Oh, that's not important.” But it was, this is not important for you. And I, you know, took that with a lot of like, “Well, what's that mean? I can learn anything.” And then again, that, that comes from this, like I said, black nationalist attitude of I am wholly wonderful, just in my skin as I am. Therefore, I'm smart. I'm, you know, all of those kinds of things. So it became a learning quest for me to say, not only am I going to go after learning as much as I can. I'm going to get the highest degree you could possibly get in it only to now reach a point. I mean, I'm 10 years into this program and it's been the one-two punch all the way through. And now I'm on the other side of this journey, realizing that even in that quest, this really doesn't change many of my conversations if I go back into my family, nor is it really looked upon as a notable achievement, which is to be questioned because it's like, I've done everything that I possibly can. But at the same time, it really does feel like this is the black experience as it connects to respectability politics. On another side of thing I suppose, try to aspire to be a race woman for the Pacific and specifically the Samoan identity. And that's just a really, really tall order. Right. All that to say, yes, I absolutely identify and realize that my conversation can only be had with those who are open to have it. I think that right now in this particular moment, we have more Pacific peoples and more people in our families that are willing to at least sit at the table and have conversation because they have new language around what they are wanting to know and what they would like to see for their own community. So that's really, really refreshing and inspiring.   Jason Finau: [00:24:46] I agree. I definitely [have] a lot of experience and feeling in feeling othered and feeling that my black identity was conveniently left out in a lot of conversations and a lot of learning lessons, I think, growing up. In contrast to Courtney's upbringing, I was born and raised on the Samoan side. It was everything Samoan related. My first language was Samoan. My mom stopped speaking Samoan to me at home because she recognized that I was struggling in school early on like in pre- k, kindergarten, first grade, because I couldn't keep up with the other students and they didn't have ESL for Samoan speaking kids. So, I think as a protective factor, my mother just started to distance me from the Samoan language in order to excel in school. And I think that a lot of having been able to grow up in a very large Samoan family and engaging in a lot of the traditional activities and cultural practices and doing the dances and going to a local [?] church. Having that has always been great but I think that seeing the way or listening to the way that other Samoans would refer to their own family members who were black and Pacific Islander or black and Samoan in those families, a lot of the times the language is just so derogatory, but they, that language never used to, or was never directed at me. And I think that part of that was because that people knew who my mother was and they knew who my grandparents were and I think I was insulated from a lot of that negative talk, negative behaviors against those who identified as black and then like the children that were products of those Samoan and black relationships. I reflect on that quite often because I think that when listening to a lot of the stories that I've been able to bear witness to in our black and PI group. You know, like I mentioned before that we are seeing like two different, two different upbringings, two different ways that people experience their lives as being black and Samoan. And for me, it was like, because I was wrapped in that Samoan culture, that black identity of mine was never really addressed or talked about. That then it made me feel like I just, I'm a Samoan boy. I don't identify as someone who was black. I didn't identify as someone who was black or was comfortable with identifying as someone who was black until my 20s. Late 20s, early 30s, you know when I introduced myself, it was always Samoan first black second, everything that I did, instead of joining the Black Student Union group, I joined all the Asian and Pacific Island groups at any school that I went to again, as I said, being a military brat, I went to a lot of schools growing up before college. And then in college a lot of different universities. And when I went to those programs, like in high school and junior high, I'd always be, I would always join the Asian Pacific Island groups because I didn't feel comfortable being a part of the black, any of the Black Student Unions or any black affinity groups, because again like I said my for me internally, I was Samoan and that's where I wanted to be. I didn't recognize for myself because I could see it in the mirror that I presented as someone like a black male and I think that part of the reason why I also steered more towards Asian and Pacific Island groups was because I wanted people to see me as this black guy walking into your Asian and Pacific Island group, who also is Samoan but you don't know that until I tell you. And that was for me to share and for me to just sit there for them to stare at me until I made that truth known. And that was my way of addressing that issue within the PI community. But it was also a way for me to run away from that black identity to hide from that black identity because I wasn't, I didn't want to be identified that way when I was in the API group. It's because I wanted to be identified as Samoan and not black, even though I presented. So in thinking about how a lot of those conversations went, I think one situation in particular really stuck out for me. And that's when I did a study abroad in New Zealand during undergrad and, you know, there's this whole thing about the term mea uli in Samoan to describe someone who is black and Samoan and that was the term that I remember using and being told. As a kid, growing up, my mom used it, didn't seem like there was an issue. All family members, everyone in the community is using it. So I just assumed that is exactly how it was. I never had the wherewithal to think about how to break down that word, mea uli, and think of it as like a black thing. So I was in New Zealand studying abroad and I met some students, some Samoan students in one of my classes. They invited me to their church, the local [?] church. I was like, oh great, I'll go to church while I'm here. Satisfy my mom. She's back home in Oceanside, California, telling me that I need to go to church, that I need to focus on my studies. So I do this. I go with them. And as they're introducing me to folks at their church, when I describe myself as mea uli I mean, you can hear a pin drop. It was like, these people were I don't know, embarrassed for me, embarrassed for themselves to hear me use that word to describe myself. It was just, I was, I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed about my identity than I was in that one moment, because then my friend had to pull me off to the side, just like “Oh, we don't use that word here.” Like she's like, schooling me on how derogatory that term was for those Samoans in New Zealand who identify as black and Samoan. And mind you, the friends that I was with, they were, they're both sides of the family are Samoan, and so this is a conversation that they're having with me as people who aren't, who don't identify as black and Samoan. And so then when I, I brought that back to my mom and I was just like, “Did you know this? Like, how could you let me go through life thinking this, saying this, using this word, only to come to this point in my adult life where now I'm being told that it's something derogatory.” That was a conversation that my mom and I had that we were forced to have. And I think for her, very apologetic on her end, I think she understood where I was coming from as far as like the embarrassment piece. But from her, from her perspective and her side of it, she didn't speak English when she first got to the United States either. She graduated from nursing school in American Samoa, had been in American Samoa that whole time, born and raised, came to the United States, California, didn't speak a lick of English, and was just trying to figure out her way through the whole navigating a prominently white society and trying to figure out English. And so I think language was one of the least of her worries, as far as that might have been because it's just like coupled on with a bunch of things. I mean, this is a Samoan woman who doesn't speak very much English, who is now in the military, in the Navy. So, in an occupation that is predominantly male, predominantly white and predominantly English speaking. And so, for her, there was a lot of things going on for herself that she had to protect herself from. And I think she tried to use some of those same tactics to protect me. But not understanding that there is now this added piece of blackness, this black identity that her child has to navigate along with that Samoan identity. And so, we've had some really great conversations around the choices that she had to make that she felt like in the moment were the right choices to keep me safe, to get me what I needed in order to graduate high school on time unlike a lot of our other family members, to go to college, you know, again, being the first one to have a bachelor's degree and the first one to have a master's degree, within our family tree. And so, a lot of the successes that I've had in life to be able to get to this point and have these conversations and to facilitate a group like black and PI, Black + Blue in the Pacific and to be on a podcast with all of you, were the sacrifices and choices that my mom had to make back.   I say all that because those, the choices that she had to make, she wasn't able to make them in an informed way that would have promoted my black identity along with my Samoan identity. And so having to navigate that on my own. I didn't grow up with my dad, so I don't have any connection. I didn't have any connection to the black side of my family. And so I didn't have, and then growing up in Hawaii and in Southern California, primary like San Diego, in the education piece, like the majority of my teachers were white, or in San Diego, a lot of them were Latin, Latinx, and then in Hawaii, a lot of them, they were either white or they were some type of Asian background like a lot of Chinese, a lot of Japanese teachers, but I didn't have any, I never had a Polynesian teacher, Pacific Islander teacher, and I never had a black teacher until I got to college, and then seeing that representation also had an impact on me. I think one of my most favorite sociology professors at California State University in San Marcos. Dr. Sharon Elise was just this most phenomenal, eye opening, unapologetically black woman. And it was just like the first time I was ever able to like be in the company of that type of presence and it was glorious. And I think it was part of the reason why I switched from pre med to social work. In thinking about, and going back to your original question about an experience of being othered or feeling like your black identity is erased in that company. Like I said, I walk confidently amongst and within Samoan communities, but not nearly as confidently as I do in black spaces. And even when I'm in those Samoan spaces, I'll walk into it, but then the first thing I'll do is share my last name. And then the moment I say my last name, then it's like, okay, now we can all breathe. I've been accepted. They know who I am because of who my family is based on the name that I provide. When I go into a black space, I don't have that. I don't have that convenience. I don't have that luxury. And so I think that's another reason why I was okay with allowing that black identity, my black identity to be ignored, to be silenced, to be othered because it was just easier. I think I had a lot more luxuries being on the Samoan side, than being on the black side. And now where I am today, both personally and professionally, a much, much more confident conversation can be had for myself, with myself about my identity. And then having those same conversations with my family and with my friends and in thinking about hard conversations with family members around anti-blackness, around the use of derogatory language, or around just the fact like, because we are half Samoan that we could never fully appreciate the Samoan culture and tradition. But I look at my cousins who are full Samoan, who barely speak the language, who barely graduated from high school or like are in situations where they aren't able to fully utilize an identity that can bring them the fullness or richness of their background. I'm like, all right, well, if you want to have conversations about someone who was half versus full, and then looking at those folks who are back on the island and what their perception of full Samoans are on the continental US and all of those things, like, there's so many layers between the thought processes of those who consider themselves Samoan or even just Pacific Islander, and what does that mean to them based on where they're from. And then you add that biological piece, then it's like, okay, well those who are on the continental US or outside of American Samoa or the independent nation of Samoa, what does that mean for them to be Samoan [unintelligible].   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:35:15] One of the things that you said that really resonated with me was when you were sharing the story of how your mother had, as you said, tactics to protect you as she navigated in these predominantly white spaces. That reminds me of a quote by Dr. Cornel West, who talked about having our cultural armor on. And when Courtney was sharing her story, I was thinking about how there's also educational armor and linguistic armor, and we put on layers of armor to protect ourselves in these white supremacist institutions and spaces. So both of you sharing your story and journey really was powerful for me, and also grounding it in the formative years of your educational journey and your race consciousness journey. One of the pivotal factors in my evolution and my race consciousness was being a part of the Black Student Union in my undergraduate school. And I'm Filipino, my mother's from Manila, my father's from Pampanga province. And it was actually the black community that embraced and raised my consciousness around my own liberation as an Asian person, as a Filipino person. So I'm a student in many ways, and my intellectual and spiritual evolution was really informed by the black liberation movement.   Swati Rayasam: [00:36:43] You are tuned in to APEX Express on 94.1 KPFA, 89.3 KPFB in Berkeley, 88.1 KFCF in Fresno and online at kpfa.org. Coming up is “March 4 Education” on the Anakbayan Long Beach May Day mixtape.   SONG   Swati Rayasam: [00:37:03] That was “Find my Way” by Rocky Rivera on her Nom de Guerre album. And before that was “March 4 Education” on the Anakbayan Long Beach May Day mixtape. And now back to the ConShifts podcast.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:44:12] So this is all very powerful and grounds us back in the topic that we're trying to unpack. So I have a question for both of you on how do we begin to interrogate anti-blackness in Asian and Pacific Island communities, specifically among Polynesians, Asians, Micronesians. How might we uproot anti-blackness in the spaces that we find ourselves?   Courtney-Savali Andrews: [00:44:36] I think we need to start with identifying what blackness is in these conversations before we get to the anti part. Are we talking about skin? Are we talking about, you know, cultural expression? Are we talking about communities, black communities within our own respective nations? So one of the things that in thinking through this, today's conversation, you know, I was thinking that, you know, starting with identifying our indigenous black communities at home, you know, in pre-colonial times. And even as we have the development of the nation state, just seeing where people are in their understandings of those communities would be a wonderful place to start before we even get to the drama that is white supremacy in the US and how that monster manifests here and then spreads like a rash to the the rest of the colonial world. I would really start with like, what are we talking about in terms of black and blackness before we go into how people are responding in a way to be against it.   Jason Finau: [00:45:52] Yeah, that was solid Court. Definitely providing that definition of what blackness is in order to figure out exactly what anti-blackness is. Kind of adding to that is looking around at the various organizations that are out there. When we go back to the earlier examples of being in API spaces, but primarily seeing more Asian faces or Asian presenting faces, thinking about, and I'm just thinking about like our Black + Blue group, like, there are so many of us who identify as black and Pacific Islander or black and Asian. And yet the representation of those folks in spaces where nonprofit organizations, community organizations are trying to do more to advance the API agenda items to make sure that we get more access to resources for our specific communities, whether that's education, healthcare, employment resources, all of that. When we look at those organizations who are pushing that for our community, you just see such a lack of black and brown faces who are part of those conversations. And I would have to say that for those organizations and for the people who will participate in any of those activities that they promote. To look around and not see one person who presents as black and may identify as black and PI seems kind of problematic to me because, you know, I used to think that growing up in the 80s and 90s that outside of my cousins, there were no other black and PI people. I'm learning now as I get older and again with our Black + Blue group, that there are so many of us, I mean, there are folks who are older than I am. There are a number of people around the same age. And then there's so many young kids. And so for none of those folks to feel, and that is another, that was a common theme, from our group was that a lot of the folks just didn't feel comfortable in PI spaces to be if they were black in and Hawaiians might be comfortable in the Hawaiian space to speak up and say anything or in whatever Pacific Island space that they also belong to is that they just didn't feel comfortable or seen enough to be a part of those. I think you know, once we identify what blackness is within our within the broader API community, we can also look at well, you know, why aren't there more people like us, those of us who do identify as black and PI, why aren't more of us involved in these conversations, being asked to be a part of these conversations, and helping to drive a lot of the messages and a lot of the agendas around garnering resources for our community.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:48:18] One of the pieces that's really present for me, when you started asking the question on how we define blackness before we begin the conversation around anti-blackness reminded me of Steve Biko learning about the black consciousness movement in South Africa and the anti apartheid movement. I had the opportunity to travel to South Africa for global learning fellowship and started to learn more about the anti apartheid movement. But when Steve Biko discussed black consciousness as an attitude of mind and a way of life, it got me thinking in one direction while at the same time in this conversation that we're having here, when we talk about colorism with post colonial society, the Philippines being one of them, how does colorism show up? I'm wrestling that. So I just appreciate you bringing that question into the space.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:49:05] So Black + Blue, it's an affinity space for black Polys and I need to just say thank you for providing the space. It has been therapeutic and healing and again, everything I knew I needed and had no idea where to find. So I appreciate it so much. So I'm wondering, I guess, how do we create similar spaces for other folks? Or is there a need to like, does Black + Blue just exist for us? And is that enough? Or do we need to start thinking about doing more to create similar spaces for other folks? And I'll leave that to whoever wants to respond before my final question.   Courtney-Savali Andrews: [00:49:45] I'll just jump in and say that I think that, you know, any opportunity for folks to gather to create and wrestle through dialogue is absolutely necessary at this particular point in time with social media and a fairly new cancel culture that exists. It's really a detriment to having people understand how to connect and even connect through disagreement. So I think that there should always be space made for people to have tough conversations, along with the celebratory ones. So I'm always all for it.   Jason Finau: [00:50:23] Yeah, I would agree. I think if I've learned anything out of being able to facilitate the Black + Blue group that there is just such a desire for it and unknown and even an unknown desire. I think people, you know, didn't realize they needed it until they had it. And I think it feels unique now it being a black and Blue space, Black + Blue Pacific space. But I can see that need kind of going outside of us. How do we take the conversations that we're having with each other, the learning and the unlearning, the unpacking of experiences, the unpacking of feelings and emotions and thoughts about what we've all been through to share that with the broader Pacific Island community in a way that can steer some people away from some of the negative, behaviors that we find that can be associated in speaking of people who identify as black or African American? But I can see that as not just for those who identify as black and Pacific Islander, but also for parents of children who are black and Pacific Islander, and for the youth. So like right now our Black + Blue group is geared towards the adult population of those who identify as black and PI. But then also thinking about like the younger generation, those who are in high school or in middle school or junior high school, who are also maybe going through the same things that we all went through at that point and needing a safe space to have those conversations and kind of process those things. Because they may have a parent who may not understand, you know, if they only have their Pacific Island parent, or they're primarily identifying with their black side because they don't feel comfortable with the Pacific Island side, whatever their journey is being able to provide that for them, but then also providing a space for parents to understand where their kids may be coming from, to hear from experiences and learn and potentially provide their kids with the resources to navigate very complex ideas. One's identity journey is not simple. It is not easy. It is not quick. And so it's hard. And that is not something, I mean, and I don't expect every parent, regardless of what their children's ethnic background is, to understand what that means like for their kids. But to be able to have a space where they can talk it out with other parents. But I also see that for our Latinx and PI community. I see that for our Asian and PI community, those who identify as both being Asian and Pacific Islander. For me, that just comes from a personal experience because my mom is one of nine. And I think out of the nine, three of the kids had children with other Samoan partners, and the rest had either a black partner, has a Mexican partner, has a partner who identifies as Chinese and Japanese, and has another partner who is white. But I have cousins who are in this space, and so we can all share in the fact that, although we may not all physically identify or people may not be able to physically recognize us as Samoans, that is what we all share in common. So having that for them as well. And then, you know, right now we're in COVID. So it's been a blessing and a curse to be in this pandemic, but I think the blessing part was that we were able to connect with so many people in our group who are from across the states and even across the waters. Once we're able to move past this pandemic and go back to congregating in person, being able to have groups within your respective cities to be able to go and talk in person, whether it's in Seattle, Los Angeles, New York, you know, folks out in Hawaii and like in Aotearoa. Who wants to continue engaging with other folks that they feel comfortable identifying or who they also identify with. Do I think that there is a need? Absolutely. And I can see it just across the board whether people know it or not, I think once we put it in front of them, that is where they'll see like, “Yeah, we need that.”   Courtney-Savali Andrews: [00:53:57] I just wanted to also highlight, you know, a point of significance for me with this group and hopefully one that would serve as a model for other organizations and groups that may develop after this, is modeled off of cultural studies, which is the process of actually remembering and relearning things that we've things and peoples that we've forgotten and with Black + Blue in the Pacific, it's really important to me to also include, and keep the Melanesian, the black Pacific voice in that conversation to model for other peoples of color to reach out to black peoples at home, or regionally to understand and again, remember those particular cultural networks that existed in pre colonial times and even sometimes well into colonial times, as current as you know, the 1970s black liberation movements to highlight Asian and Pacific and, and, and, and other peoples that were non black, but very instrumental in that fight for liberation as a whole, but starting with black liberation first. So, I think this is a really good time in an effort towards uprooting anti-blackness to highlight just how old our relationships with black peoples and black peoples in relationship with Asians and Pacific peoples, South Asians, Southeast Asians, it just goes on and on, to say that we've been in community positively before, so we can do it again.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:55:52] That is the most perfect way to wrap up the episode in reminding us to remember, and reminding us that all of our liberation is definitely tied to black liberation that they're inextricably linked together. Thank you, Courtney. Thank you, Jason. Fa'a fatai te le lava thank you for listening.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:56:13] Salamat thank you for listening.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:56:14] We want to thank our special guests, Jason and Courtney, one more time for rapping with us tonight. We appreciate you both for being here and really helping us continue to build the groundwork for Continental Shifts Podcast.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:56:24] Continental Shift Podcast can be found on Podbean, Apple, Spotify, Google, and Stitcher.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:56:30] Be sure to like and subscribe on YouTube for archive footage and grab some merch on our website.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:56:36] Join our mailing list for updates at conshiftspodcast.com. That's C-O-N-S-H-I-F-T-S podcast dot com and follow us at con underscore shifts on all social media platforms.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:56:52] Dope educators wayfinding the past, present, and future.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:56:56] Keep rocking with us fam, we're gonna make continental shifts through dialogue, with love, all together.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:57:02] Fa'fetai, thanks again. Tōfā, deuces.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:57:04] Peace, one love.   Swati Rayasam: [00:57:07] Please check out our website, kpfa.org backslash program backslash apex express. To find out more about the show tonight and to find out how you can take direct action. We thank all of you listeners out there. Keep resisting, keep organizing, keep creating and sharing your visions with the world. Your voices are important. Apex Axpress is produced by Miko Lee, along with Paige Chung, Jalena Keene-Lee, Preeti Mangala Shekar, Anuj Vaida, Kiki Rivera, Nate Tan, Hien Ngyuen, Cheryl Truong, and me Swati Rayasam. Thank you so much to the team at KPFA for their support and have a great night. The post APEX Express – 1.30.25 Continental Shifts: Anti Blackness in the PI Community appeared first on KPFA.

A weekly magazine-style radio show featuring the voices and stories of Asians and Pacific Islanders from all corners of our community. The show is produced by a collective of media makers, deejays, and activists.   Important Links: Queer Hmong Intersectional Pride Instagram Hmong Innovating Politics Instagram Hmong Innovating Politics Website   Transcript: Cheryl: Good evening, everyone. You are tuned in to APEX Express. I'm your host, Cheryl Truong and tonight is an AACRE night. What is AACRE might be asking. Comprised of 11 grassroots, social justice groups, the Asian Americans for civil rights and Equality Network– AACRE– leverages the power of its network to focus on longterm movement building and support for Asian Americans committed to the fight for social justice. Speaking of AACRE groups. APEX Express is proud to be apart of the AACRE Network.  Joining us for tonight's show from Yokuts also known as Fresno, california is my special, big hearted friend Shai Chang from Hmong Innovating Politics. Also known as HIP. Shai, do you mind introducing yourself? Who are you, who are your people, and where do you come from?  Shai Chang: Yes, thank you so much for having me on the show. My name is Shai pronouns are they and them. I'm located in Yokuts Valley, currently in Fresno, California. I'm actually working with Hmong Innovating Politics located both in Sacramento and Fresno. I'm in the Fresno. And officially, just recently in October, I got my name title changed to be the Trans and Queer Fresno Community Organizer. So I am so ecstatic to be doing the trans and queer work in the Central Valley, yeah, born and raised in Fresno, Hmong, Southeast Asian, and really, actually I was born in a house. The rest of my siblings were born in the hospital. We were actually, the reason why was because we were trying to go to the hospital and my dad was like, Oh, wait for me, wait for me, wait for me, and couldn't wait any longer. Cheryl: And then you just popped out. You couldn't wait any longer. Did your dad make it in time? Shai Chang: I think my dad made it in time, but only in time for us to come out.  Cheryl: I didn't know that about you, Shai, that you were a home birth. How many siblings do you have?  Shai Chang: I have five other siblings. We were all born one year apart. Honestly, like, growing up, I really loved the idea of, Oh, we're all born one year apart. It's so nice. My siblings were so close. And now I'm looking back, Oh my gosh, my mom. Oh  Cheryl: my gosh. are any of your siblings also trans or queer?  Shai Chang: No, um, one of them is queer, but, the rest of my family is, actually very progressive and a great ally to me. So I've been very privileged and blessed.  Cheryl: Do you think that's a common Hmong queer experience to have supportive and progressive parents?  Shai Chang: so I'm not actually out to my parents or my grandparents or my uncles or some of my aunts. I am out to my siblings and so I think it's very interesting and I'm still grappling along with that as well. I think there is internal work to be done. It's that both I think it's, this is a reality of some things. It's that outside of the community, I'm queer and trans and at home, I'm very much having to play a role. My dad is a shaman and so he does do, they do come from a lot more like traditional values and conservative values. And at the same time, they are progressive on things. I think that they understand racial issues. But not gender issues. So you can wear, for example, I would say like my aunt, she it's like progressive and the most conservative ways, so it's like. Oh yeah, I'm totally okay that you're gay, Shai, but if my kids wore earrings, that's too feminine.   Cheryl: Thanks for sharing that shy. It's sounds like you've had to navigate a lot of different spaces, also expectations.  I'm curious, what was it like growing up queer in Fresno?  Shai Chang: I think that it has really shaped me because I feel like I came into my queerness and my transness so late. I feel like I came into being who and knowing who I am or what I am so late into my life. It wasn't until I was much more exposed into the organizing work over in the Bay Area. And so obviously big props to Lavender Phoenix.  Cheryl: Love them. Shout out Lavender Phoenix.  Shai Chang: And just really seeing so many of the organizers really live and their truth and who they are. And I. And having to also trying to figure out what that means for myself as well. Also knowing that How many other like Hmong trans queer folks are also might be going through the same thing as well. And so there is a definitely a strong sense of unwelcome this or not even unwelcome this, but not the intentional welcome. Right. When we think of radical welcome. From Lavender Phoenix, there is a lack of radical welcomeness within our Hmong community, and so, especially for trans and queer folks, and it wasn't until just this year that there's a in the Hmong community, there's 18 clans, or our last names, and there's an organization over in the Midwest, over in Minnesota, Minneapolis that just then wrote a letter in Hmong talking about the recognition that, Hey we recognize that we have not been intentional in inviting like trans and queer people into our community. So like one, it was super validating and two, that's just like the bare minimum. Okay. They recognize it, but what did they do? Right. Nothing. And so, or, you know, for me I didn't really see much, but also that's so different. Like that, that lived experience over in Minnesota is so different from the lived experiences in California for our Hmong community. And yeah.  Cheryl: Yeah Shine you're bringing up so many things. You're so absolutely right. There is such a different between. Merely tolerating transness and queerness, such as you know, in the story you shared earlier but your aunt and her kid wearing earrings. And then also with the vagueness and The lack of action and accountability in the . Minneapolis letter. Versus the radical, welcoming. Of trans and queer folk, such as, is done in Lavender Phoenix, which. For folks who don't know is also an AACRE group. that organizes is around building trans and queer AAPI power in the bay area. And I also love. That you called in that, of course there are differences in the lived experiences for the Hmong community in Minneapolis. Versus California. Because I also think that that's super true to in the in lived experiences for trans and queer as in the bay, Area. You know, such as, what Lavender Phoenix does. Versus the transness and queerness that is experienced in the central valley, which is of course where a majority of Hmong Americans in California live. Which is also actually a great segue to talk about the amazing work that HIP does and the work that you lead with QHIP, which is for listeners who don't know. Is short for Queer Hmong Intersectional Pride. Do you mind telling us what QHIP is and what led to its fruition. Shai Chang: Yes, thank you so much. Back in 2018, I actually was, that's when Hmong Innovating Politics actually branched out to Fresno. And that's when I was like, Oh, I've heard about you all, like in the organizing work over in Sacramento. I will love to get involved. And literally that weekend that they came in Mytao one of the original organizers for, to, to branch out into Fresno, she actually messaged me, it's Hey, I have this application that's due on Sunday. It's Seeding Change. Can you apply for it? I was like, Yeah, sure, of course. It's Friday. Also, how did you get my number? Ha ha ha ha ha., and so, like, it was just a great She actually got my number through, like, different connections here and there, and then that's how she got my number, and then she contacted me, and she talked Yeah, and so, that's how I got involved with HIP, was through Seeding Change. I've already been trying to organize in the Fresno community around , Hmong and trans and queer issues, and, , Leadership has always, always been a very big issue. Just finding other trans and queer leaders, and I was very lucky, it was such a very strange time that one of my were One of my friends, um, friends now, but then, uh, actually it's like this other random person came into Fresno and was like, Hey, I just got back from, Texas, and I am in Fresno. Like, I was born and raised in Fresno, I moved away, came back, and wanted to organize around trans and queer issues. I was like, no way!  So, on top of that, Mytao, later in the summer, was able to organize to get us, funding, and so we got 3, 000 just to organize for trans and queer issues, and in the next two to three months, um, we got 20 people to start showing up. We met every single week. Wow! And then on top of that, we were hanging out for another two to three hours. So I honestly, we all use obviously like our own personal funding, our own like, like vehicles, transportation, pick it up folks just so that we can meet and really being housed in like HIP's office. And. To really honor HIP, we were also trying to think of our name for our own space because I think it came from actually like being, and I, I really also want to share that like quip, the reason I'm like, why QHIP? Why QHIP? Why not join any of the, like the trans and queer spaces? Let me be very clear about why not join any of the other gay spaces in Fresno? So, and,, Fresno historically has been a very white cis space. male gay space. And so that's really also we want to highlight that. There is like also trans spaces that just came more recently as well, Trans-E-Motion. But before that , we were actually then like, okay, let's go and be a part of these organizing spaces as like our little group, right? And we show up to these spaces and they're asking, what's your name? , who are you all? What's your name? Are you gay little Asian boys?  And so I share the stories. As to, like, how much it speaks volume to the microaggressions, the internal racism that exists, and as well as how much, like, work is done. Like, why we need this space so much, right? When we show up to these spaces, we are not feeling that sense of belonging, that radical welcoming. And so, Yeah, we just started organizing from there and then obviously we were being housed and so HIP was like, okay So do you want to spin off and do your own organizations? Who are you and What's your five year plan and the whole time we're like “What?!” I've never thought about a five year plan, you know, and got, yeah, that's her name. And also Katie Moua, who's working with us as our , program director, you know. And so, we finally actually just this year became a program under HIP. So originally we were like a support group. We were just holding space and we just hit our five year last year and after seeing so much transition and leadership,, we just know that for, sustainability is that we need to make sure that we're holding it somewhere and so HIP was able to hold that program space for us. And so that's just where and where we're at right now.  Cheryl: Thank you so much for sharing the origin storyof QHIP. It's really inspiring to meto hear how organizations come to be? And. All of the community effort and community members that came together, recognizing a need and supported each other through it all. It really shows the power of mutual care and collective organizing. We're going to take a quick music break, but there'll be more on the incredible organizing workbeing done by QHIP for trans and queer Hmong folk in the central valley when we return. Up next. We'll be listening to “GRLGNG” by Rocky Rivera. So stay tuned. We'll be right back.  Here's “GRLGNG” by Rocky Rivera.  And we're back. You're listening to apex express on 94.1 KPFA and 89.3 KPFB in Berkeley and also streaming online at kpfa.org. That last track was “GRLGNG” by Rocky Rivera. We're here with Shai chang lead organizer of Queer Hmong Intersectional Pride (QHIP). A program by Hmong Innovating Politics, also known as hip. So far Shai has shared some powerful, personal stories about growing up queer and trans in a more conservative central valley.  And how essential programs like QHIP are for helping trans and queer Hmong Americans. I thrive in such places which are often hard to find. We've learned about how QHIP. Came to be and how it was created by and for the community through effort and also through. I would say great courage. So Shai. Can you tell us a little bit more about the programming that QHIP does? Shai Chang: Thank you so much for asking. A lot of the work that we do is rooted in healing justice. when we first came together, we just knew that. There's so much trauma that we had. Um, so I, I say this because one, we were like, okay, like, should we open it up to, like, other Asian Pacific Islanders? Should we do like a Southeast Asian, queer, trans work? And then, I was like, let's look at the space we're in currently. Who is in here with us? Like, how can we say that we're a lot of the time, it's, I think it's frustrating that it's always like, API, API, right? And there's no other Pacific Islanders in this space. Um, so it's like to say that Hmong people are here and it's okay for us to focus on Hmong communities. On top of that, we have so much particular trauma that if we then invite other folks into the space and they have their own intersectional trauma, how can we also hold space for them when we're also then trying to figure out our own, like. issues. And so, uh, not realizing that these were like rooted in healing justice. We just knew that we just needed space for ourselves and to heal and, and heal in different ways. And so in one of those ways, like, how can we heal and also have fun? And one of the organizers around that has been One of the events we did was Sports Day. Um, I was like, okay, how does Sports Day relate to healing, you know? And it's like, of course it does, right? We know that many times, like, trans and queer folks are not allowed to have fun in sports, are not allowed to be queer enough, like, they're too queer, um, that they're not allowed to be Performing to mask, to fan, and like in queer, like in sports. And so, we know and we recognize that it's so important for us to actually be able to live in these spaces as well. For us to reclaim these opportunities for ourselves. And so, um, It has shown up in many different ways. And so every single, almost every year we, we do something like that together. And so, uh, we did one in Sacramento and they're all like, this is where the BIPOC people have been at. Uh, because there is like a queer and like sports, like, uh, outing that is over there, but it's always like predominantly white, and so when all of the people of color started showing up, I'm like, oh! Uh, and so it's so funny. It's so funny. Like, that we get to actually practice community, care, and love, and intentionality, and really finding space of joy for one another, especially If you want to like play volleyball, hit the ball back into a twerk, you know, like we've seen our Southeast Asian Filipinos, like Cheryl: I love that image of just like this pack of like Hmong queer and trans folk just like rolling up, you know, I just love that image so, so much. And I love that point too. Like what does sports have to do with queer being queer and trans? And it has so much. It starts in those like little things, those little sports outings, being able to hit a volleyball and go into a twerk. That's healing justice. Wow. That is so incredible. You mentioned that when QHIP first started, it was around 20 people. What would you say like the age demographic is? of the people in QHIP.  Shai Chang: So when we first started, no one was over 30.  We had folks from high school, and we had folks, um, in like, uh, like over 18, um, and, uh, no one was over 30. Yeah, so we had a very young group and we can just see how like hip has also adapted into that as well It's not like we have always been really young organizers and so When you were talking about the budding and the seedings like that's what we do We train and we right now we are wanting to bring up and train other trans and queer leaders that really also want to be a part of the space too because One, like, to be very honest and transparent, if I'm gone, Quint is gone. That's what I mean by the sustainability of leadership. Like, I'm the one who's holding this work right now. And because we have just recently expanded over to Sacramento to have Christine also hold that space, like, oh my god, Once I'm gone, it's gone, right? And so  so we actually Went um, we had a booth at the Hmong New Year's. It was a queer and trans booth It's super queer super trans and we were anticipating lots of pushback And so folks we actually just asked like our friends who I mean like I already didn't have like queer friends already And so we asked our friends to just come and be in the booth with us, come organize with us, and then words kind of spread out around that, like, oh, there's this thing, they're doing this thing, and so folks came and volunteered. And I need to share this story because, like, we were all anticipating people to come to our booth and push back. Um, we've, there's like Christian monk folks there have come and done push back in the past, but there has never been like a trans and queer booth. Like a Hmong trans queer booth and so folks, we have like a photo booth in the back and the way that you can take brief pictures is that you just signed the board that I support Hmong LBTQ and really there was so much overwhelming love and support for us that many of the times like our own like folks, our own trans and queer folks, they had to take a pause and like, yeah, Actually, I need to take a break, right? I think this overwhelming sense of love and care from community and so this is where it grew and this is where and how we grew and also knowing at the same time that like there's so much multiple layers in this conversation, I'm sorry. Um, so it's like One, there is so many overwhelming support, yes, and that's how many people came and started to know about us and started organizing along with us. And the other piece and part of it too is that right now and where I'm at now is that I'm trying to organize for trans and queer spaces for Hmong folks, and I'm really trying to invite community to come and be part of us, and at the same time, not seeing folks show up. Um, and so like when we had our organizing program, our 7, 8, 9 month long organizing program, first time this year, opening it up for like, community to apply and be part of, like, 4 folks applied, and they were all allies, um, and so I, yeah, I didn't want to take that away from them as well, and so these are the people that applied, and these are the people that like, I will be working with, right? And so when we went to the Pride Parade, and other, like, trans and queer Hmong folks showed up, and they're like, Oh, is this an organizing program? And I was like, Yeah, it is! And they're like, Oh, I should've applied! And I was like, Yeah, you should've! And so, We, Christina and I, we really had to sit in with that, and it's like, why is that? Why is that, like, a really challenging place? Um, and we really lean in back into that, like, in the Hmong community, there is such a lack of welcomeness. There is such a lack of belongingness, like, many times in the Fresno, and this is just, like, trans queer people in general, in the Central Valley, is that For you to be trans and queer, it's for you to move away from home. Um, go to the Bay Area, go to L. A. And so, um, in our name, Queer Hmong Intersectional Pride, Intersectional from Kimberly Crenshaw, is really where we are highlighting that you can be queer and you can be Hmong. And Many of the times it's so hard for us to show up in like our own community because there's like so much layers of like anti blackness, like patriarchy, uh, lots of gender justice that needs to be done, transformative and healing justice that needs to be done and I appreciate Lambda Phoenix for being so bold and I'm also sitting over here. It's like how can I be bold and I think about, like, for us, like, we were already ostracized by our own community, some, many of the times, like, unwelcomed, and for us to then fight to be in our own community, it's such a big fight already, and then, like, folks would then welcome us, and then, okay, let's talk about police brutality. Right? How much of that would then also, um, be welcomed as well? And so really to be trans and queer is for us to be anti imperialist, anti capitalist, you know, anti, um, anti racism, right? And so Yeah, so like that's that's just so the realm that we're like like Hmong and trans queer folks are living in and so our next steps for our quip is for really us to build our sense of belonging. We're going to be launching our campaign Love is Love or Luya Lu um to really highlight um that that piece of belongingness within our Hmong and transqueer community that we do need to find a sense of belonging, that we don't need to be part of like our Hmong community to really find community, that we can have our own community and still be part Hmong and still be transqueer. Cheryl: I love that so much,, the I in quip intersectional is you can be queer and mom. And I think that is so brilliant. And I wonder the whole that also that piece you shared about how a lot of, you know, queer and trans, trans People of the Central Valley leave to go to larger cities, more liberal quote unquote spaces. I wonder, too, if that's part of the reason why there was low signups for your organizing program, because so much of the trans and queer among folk that are in quip are all really young and are still reliant on living in the same household as their family. Shai Chang: Yeah, thank you so much for highlighting that. Yes, that is so, so, so true. Um, I also really want to highlight that it's so hard on our femme and women folk, our transqueer femme and women folk, um, because in our experiences as a young person for them, they were the babysitters. Um, they were the caregiver and the caretaker of their family. And so many of the times it's that, you know, They could not join us in these particular spaces because they constantly had to ask for permission from their family just to be with us. Um, so, can I go? I was like, oh no, I need you to watch the house, or watch the babies, watch, watch your siblings. Um, I need you to take care of this, or X, Y, and Z, and so. It's a lot of, like, it's a lot of the patriarchy coming up in this multi layer, like, this multi layer level of oppression, multi layer level of, like, Experiences that Hmong and transqueer, , women and femme folks go through. And so really wanting to highlight that. Cheryl: So, of course, like I'm hearing the family dynamics, the patriarchy. What do you think are the other struggles that queer and trans Hmong youth currently face in Central California? Shai Chang: you know, the Central Valley is very poor., and so, lot of trans folks actually have a hard time in transition. There's only like one doctor that comes once in a long while that like really does affirmative care. And so we're trying to grow our affirmative care resource and our doctors list. And so now I think we've probably grown I think maybe like two or three in the Citra Valley. And I mean Central Valley from like Stockton to like Bakersfield, like there is no, like, it's hard to find affirmative care. And many of the times folks are, if they're wanting like gender affirming care, they have to go into the bigger cities. And so there has been in the past transportation. So obviously when we're doing like, it's, you know, Affirmative care surgery. It's a very, very big thing. And so transportation on top of like housing for rest is a very big thing as well. And so there was funding that folks have been organized to do transportation as well as housing to take care of them. What does what does aftercare look like? And so I think there's like those kind of layers like racism, Obviously, transphobia, , homophobia, and I think it just speaks to a lot, you know, about like the, there's like a lot of, and there is gender based violence in our community, quite a bit, right? When you think about patriarchy, of course, it's attached. I think in the media of the times, community needs to also see that patriarchy also impacts, patriarchy impacts all genders. Right. , it forces more, males and men to be more masculine, really pushing them away from what it means for them to actually have, like, quote unquote feelings, or being feminine, or, um, there's a lot of big drinking problem in our Hmong community as well, and so, there's lots of, like, over drinking and binge drinking, and so, yeah, there's also deeply rooted issues that are also, uh, showing up in the community as well. Cheryl: Wow, there's a lot. And it sounds like there's so much infrastructure and resources that are still, that still need to be developed. Central California is still developing their resources for trans and queer, especially trans and queer Hmong folk. My question then, Shai, because you, because I do agree, like if the moment you leave, QHIP is gone. How are you dealing? Because this is a lot of work. How do you deal with all of this responsibility? Shai Chang: I lean into hip. I have to. Um, to be very honest, I had a really hard time. I think last year, um, we had a really hard time when I was just like, I feel so alone. I went to this like conference. This was called creating change. It's their national, like LBGTQ conference and over in San Francisco and like February, July and went to that conference and then came back home. I was like the only trans, you know, I was the only person on the train back home. Right? And so it feels so isolating. It feels so alone sometimes. And I brought this up to HIP and we all just cried and we're like, This is not okay, right? And so that's when we started to see what programming for quip actually looks like and recognizing that something needs to happen. We need to build more. And so I also really want to highlight that it takes time and it takes It takes time and commitment to want to build with people. Um, and we were able to really build space for our trans and queer community here because we were so committed to wanting to build something here. Um, and so it is very alone, like, and also it's really to recognize that we are not alone. Um, I think Lambda Phoenix has done such a great job in really being able to model what that means and what that looks like. And literally asking for help. Um, it's not to say that I'm not good at delegating. It's not to say I'm not good at delegating. I'm just really bad at breaking down, like, these roles and responsibilities for me to then Invite other folks in to also to support me to help, you know, to make the movement go and grow together. And we're so used to doing this work alone. I'm so used to doing this work alone that I feel like I have to do everything together. I have to be the creative artist, the social media campaign manager. The comms manager, coalition building, I, I feel like I have to be then like the, the organizer, the program manager, the development, the HR, um, the supervisor, and, and at the same time as a, you know, not as a young person anymore, but like young enough still 29, is that I'm still also learning what organizing is and what organizing means. And so, um, it means all of us. It needs all of us. Cheryl: That's actually such an important dimension too, because as , you're all developing this in the works, you're also learning along the way. , I guess maybe to end our conversation. I want to know, because you bring up the welcomeness, the radical welcomeness you've learned from Lavender Phoenix and how Revolutionary that has been in your praxis of trans and queer organizing for Hmong folk. What does radical welcoming look like for you for quip moving forward in the next couple of years? What would you want it to look like? Shai Chang: What it will look like for quip is that Um, next year we're going to be launching a campaign and then continuing the Love is Love or Lu is Lu Ya Lu campaign and really highlighting the sense of belonging that needs to be built up in our Hmong community. Um, as much as we're fighting for trans justice, racial justice, and gender justice, and trans queer justice, and like, those are like the big words, and all of those things, and what does that mean? And it starts at the small, it starts at the small, like, if we don't even feel that sense of belonging within our own community, if we don't even feel that sense of belonging within our own selves, small like the sports day, it's not going to actually build in that piece of justice in the long term. And so it's so important that, um, we build in that radical welcomeness through all layers. And it can look very different. It doesn't have to be like, Oh, welcome. Verbatim welcome. This means that we are doing it every single time at every single point, at every single way. It looks like having dinners. Um, it looks like having fun. It looks like karaoke. It looks like listening to each other's story, passion mic, open mic nights, poetry slams, and sports days, and Really going out to vote together. It really looks and shines in all the different ways and really being in coalition with one another is how we're going to get there and build there. And so, yeah,  Cheryl: that was the perfect answer, Adrian Murray Brown writes about this all the time. Small is all. Radical welcoming in all areas of this work. I think that's just so beautiful.  We are actually going to take another music break. But learn how to plug into quips work when we get back. So don't go anywhere.  Up next is taking names by Rocky Ibarra. And we're back. You are tuned in to apex express on 94.1 KPFA and 89.3. KPMB in Berkeley and online@kpfa.work. You were just listening to you taking names by Rocky Berra. Before we close off the show shy. Do you mind letting our listeners know how they can stay in touch with Quip and learn about all of your upcoming programming? Shai Chang: Yeah, I would say follow us on our social media, Facebook and Instagram. That's a great place to begin, um, and continue to share and highlight us. , we are trying to post more. And you can follow us at qhip. ca at qhip. ca or quip. california. ca. Yeah, um, I think that's a great place to begin and then you all always can message me there. Um, yes.  Cheryl: Thank you shy. All of those links to equip socials we'll be linked in our show notes. And so before we close off for the night, do you have any last words, you'd like to share to any trans. Queer, mung folk who might be listening right now.  Shai Chang: Yes. Um, lean into your leadership. Lean into it. I know that you're so scared of, like, wanting to be in a leader because it feels like there's so much responsibility that comes with it. And know that you are not alone. In it. You are not alone in this leadership. You are never alone. There's so much people who have paved the way and so much people who are still here with us today. And so, I am here and we can learn and lean into each other and really actually create spaces of love. Like, how do we lean into love and not into our leadership? Right? And so, you don't have to feel like you are leaning into your leadership alone. But leaning into community and leaning into love. Cheryl: Thanks, everyone. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time. Cheryl Truong: Apex express is produced by Miko Lee, Paige Chung, Jalena Keane-Lee, Preeti Mangala Shekar. Shekar, Anuj Vaidya, Kiki Rivera, Swati Rayasam, Nate Tan, Hien Nguyen, Nikki Chan, and Cheryl Truong   Tonight's show was produced by me, cheryl. Thanks to the team at KPFA for all of their support. And thank you for listening!  The post APEX Express – October 24, 2024 – Trans & Queer Hmong Rise: Organizing in Central California appeared first on KPFA.

Surprise episode drop! Leading up to Island Woman Rise we’re dropping two episodes this week! In this episode the TFALpodcast crew has a conversation with Rocky Rivera who recently dropped LONG KISS GOODNIGHT. Rocky shares her journey as a Frisco city kid turned journalist turned full time artist. Bay area folks, check out Rocky’s album...

Dans cette émission, nous nous intéressons à la géographie sous l'angle des questions de genre ! En effet, l'aménagement du territoire et notamment de la ville est une question sociétale : l'espace public apparaît ainsi comme le support et le produit de rapports de genre, de classe, de race marqués par des phénomènes de hierarchisation et de domination. De la géographie du genre en passant par la géographie des sexualités jusqu'à la géographie queer, on explore les chemins du désir. extrait : expressions, Les orageuses de Marcia Burnier, Kingkong Théorie de Virginie Despentes, Du rêve pour les oufs de Faiza Guene, Laisse tomber la nuit d'Agnès Mascarou, Colza d'Al Baylac Musique : Paris s'éveille de Catherine Ringer et Angélique Kidjo, Baltimore de Nina Simone, Ain't no way de Rocky Rivera, Illustration :  Annie Cohen Kopchovsky, première femme en 1894 à faire le tour du monde en bicyclette.

A weekly magazine-style radio show featuring the voices and stories of Asians and Pacific Islanders from all corners of our community. The show is produced by a collective of media makers, deejays, and activists. Host editor Swati Rayasam continues to highlight the podcast Continental Shifts created by bi-coastal educators Gabriel Anthony Tanglao and Estella Owemma Church. They embark on a voyage in search of self, culture and the ancestors. Last time we featured the ConShifts podcast, Gabriel and Estella gave a quick introduction and talked about wayfinding in the context of their work. Tonight on the podcast they're talking about anti-blackness in the PI community with Courtney Savali Andrews and Jason Fennel. Just a quick note that both Courtney and Jason's audio quality isn't the best on this podcast. So it might get a little bumpy. Enjoy the show. Episode Transcripts – Anti-blackness in the PI Community with Courtney-Savali Andrews and Jason Finau Opening: [00:00:00] Apex Express Asian Pacific expression. Community and cultural coverage, music and calendar, new visions and voices, coming to you with an Asian Pacific Islander point of view. It's time to get on board the Apex Express.   Swati Rayasam: [00:00:35] Good evening everyone. You're listening to APEX express Thursday nights at 7:00 PM. My name is Swati Rayasam and I'm the special editor for this episode. Tonight, we're going to continue to highlight the podcast continental shifts created by bi-coastal educators Gabriel Anthony Tanglao and Estella Owemma Church who embark on a voyage in search of self, culture and the ancestors. Last time we featured the ConShifts podcast, Gabriel and Estella gave a quick introduction and talked about wayfinding in the context of their work. Tonight on the podcast they're talking about anti-blackness in the PI community with Courtney Savali Andrews and Jason Fennel. Just a quick note that both Courtney and Jason's audio quality isn't the best on this podcast. So it might get a little bumpy. Enjoy the show.   Courtney-Savali Andrews & intro music: [00:01:32] These issues are fluid, these questions are fluid. So I mean, I had to go and try get a PHD just to expand conversation with my family .   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:01:51] How do we uproot anti-blackness in API spaces? On today's episode, we explore this critical question with two incredible guests. Courtney and Jason share their stories, experiences, and reflections on ways our API communities can be more affirming of black identity and black humanity.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:02:13] What up, what up? Tālofa lava, o lo'u igoa o Estella. My pronouns are she/her/hers, sis, and uso.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:02:23] What's good, family? This is Gabriel, kumusta? Pronouns he/him.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:02:29] I have the great pleasure tonight of introducing our guest today, Jason Finau and Courtney-Savali Andrews. Jason is a social worker with a focus on mental health and substance abuse based in San Francisco. Courtney is an assistant professor of musicology at Oberlin College in Ohio. But I also want to be very intentional about not centering professions above who we are and who we come from. So I'm going to go to Jason first. Jason, please share with us who you are, how you identify and who are your people.   Jason Finau: [00:02:58] Hi everyone. Estella, Gabriel, again, thank you so much for hosting us in this space. My name is Jason. I identify as black and Samoan. My father is a black American from Mississippi and my mother is from American Samoa, specifically in the village of Nua and Sektonga. As a military, brat kind of grew up back and forth between Hawaii and Southern California. So I have a very strong love for the ocean and where my peoples come from. So, very excited to be on your podcast.   Courtney-Savali Andrews: [00:03:27] [Speaking Samoan] Tālofa lava I am Courtney-Savali Andrews from Seattle, Washington. I identify as an African American Samoan. My father is from Seattle, born and raised in Seattle, from Opelika, Alabama. That's where his roots are, and my mother is from American Samoa from the villages of Nwoma Sitsona and Aminawe. And Jason and I are maternal cousins.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:03:59] I did not know that. [Laughs] Good to know. Actually, just for some context, Jason and Courtney, you were one of my blessings in 2020. I received an email message about a space called Black + Blue in the Pacific, and it was a flier for a Zoom gathering with other black Pacifica peoples and I jumped on the call, not knowing what to expect, but it was only one of two times I can remember in my entire life feeling truly seen as black Samoan, and not having to separate those two or shrink any part of myself or who I am. So Jason, can you please share what the space is about and how it came to be?   Jason Finau: [00:04:42] Sure. That warms my heart that that was your reaction to participating in that space. So this was kind of born out of all of the protests against racial injustices across the country, especially with George Floyd and the other countless, unfortunately, countless deaths of black men and women at the hands of police brutality. And EPIC, which is the Empowering Pacific Island Communities, a nonprofit organization out in Long Beach reached out to me to kind of talk about how we can address anti-blackness within the Pacific Island communities in speaking with Tavae Samuelu, who is the executive director of EPIC and Teresa Siagatonu who is an amazing creative poet, artist, everything. We got together, started talking about like, well what was the real purpose for this group? Why are they reaching out to me specifically in the work that I do? And I think that part of that came from the fact that I am a licensed clinical social worker and that I do have a background in mental health and working in trauma, generational trauma and looking at how we as human beings look to take care of ourselves in a community that we as black human beings look to take care of ourselves in a community that doesn't value who we are and what that looks like for those of us who belongs to two different communities, one being the black and then the other being the Pacific Island community. And then even, you know, bringing that down even further to the, within the Pacific Island community, being in the Polynesian community and then being specifically in the Samoan community.   So in talking with that, the first person I thought about when they asked me to facilitate a group where we can gather other individuals who identified as being black and Pacific Islander, the first person I thought about co-facilitating this group with was my cousin Courtney-Savali Andrews. Just given the fact that she has done so much in research and education and understanding about PI cultures, with the work that she's done here in the States, as well as out in the Pacific, out in New Zealand and Samoa, and I'll let her talk more about that, but this is another part of the reasons why I thought about her instantly, and also because she and I have had these conversations about what it means to be black and Samoan, and to identify as both, and to sometimes have to navigate being one over the other in spaces, and even in spaces where It's a white space and having to figure out like which one are we like code switching between. So in thinking about this group and in thinking about this space, you know, one of the larger conversations that came out of those who engage in this group, that we have every second Tuesday of the month is that representation of seeing other folks who are also black and Pacific Islander who aren't related to us. And so these are the conversations that Courtney and I have had. I've had the same conversations with other first cousins who also happened to be black and Samoan, but I've never actually have met like one hand I can count on how many times I've met another person who identified as black and Pacific Islander. And so being able to host this space and to focus it, to start off that focus on anti-blackness and to talk about how we're all working to deal with what it means to say Black Lives Matter when someone who visually presents as Samoan or someone who visually presents as Tongan or any other of the Pacific Islands. Like, what does it mean for them to say Black Lives Matter, when those of us who identify as both black and Pacific Islanders aren't really feeling how that message is as substantial as they may be trying to, to come across.   Being able to gather in a space where we see other folks who look like us, who shared experiences that were so similar to what we have shared and what we have gone but also very different. And looking at how, you know, some folks grew up identifying primarily with the Samoan culture, whereas other folks grew up primarily identifying with the black culture and not being able to reconcile either one. So seeing that spectrum of experiences was able to provide us with an opportunity to grow for each other, to support each other, and to learn from each other. I was very thankful and grateful for having, for EPIC being able to step in and seeing that as an organization that does focus on empowering Pacific Island communities that they understood that when we look at the micro communities within that larger macro level of a PI community, looking at that individual black and PI cohort and understanding that that experience is different than the general experience. And so they wanted to make sure that we're facilitating those conversations, that we're holding safe spaces for those conversations, and that we're encouraging those conversations. So I really do appreciate them so much for that, and not taking it upon themselves to tell us how we should be engaging in these conversations, how we should be feeling, and asking us what we should be doing to get PIs to understand the impact of anti-blackness, within the, in the PI community for us personally.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:09:29] And as you were talking, I was laughing at myself thinking, yeah, I can count on one hand too, aside from my brothers, the other black Samoans or Polys I know, and I had an experience in college as a freshman, Cal State Northridge, in my EOP cohort. I met another Leilani, Leilani is my middle name, I met another Leilani who happened to be half black, half Samoan, also from South LA. And we saw each other and ran to each other like we were long lost siblings or something [laughs] and we just knew, and it was the first time I had seen someone who looked like me that was not The Rock. [Jason laughs] Like, the only person to look to, that was yeah. I don't know, it wasn't enough to have, you know, The Rock as my only representation. I appreciate him, but definitely wasn't enough. And shout out to EPIC and Tavae, because I think I mentioned earlier, being in Black + Blue was, it was like the second time in my life. I can say that I felt seen and one of the first times I felt seen as Samoan was at 30. I happen to be in a workshop led by Tavae on organizing PI communities. That was the first time I met her, but I left her session like in tears because I felt a whole part of whatever was happening in the conversation, the festivities, I could be like my full self.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:11:00] And those spaces are so important for us, right? To have that community, to be able to connect. So Jason, I appreciate you sharing that origin story of Black + Blue. And my question for Courtney actually, to bring in some of your experience into the space. Why was it important to create or forge a space such as this one with Black + Blue?   Courtney-Savali Andrews: [00:11:22] Well, I will say that I've had the privilege of a different experience having met several African American and African Pacific Islanders in Seattle through my experience in the US. And I mean, this goes all the way back to my childhood. I went to a predominantly, and this is going to sound pretty interesting, but in the 70s, I went to a predominantly Filipino-Italian parish that was budding a Samoan congregation and that particular congregation was connected to the Samoan congregational church that my mother was affiliated with. So, of course, this is family based, right? But growing up in that particular setting, I was affiliated with many cultural dance groups, particularly Polynesian dance troupes and such, and through those various communities I would run into many particularly Samoan and African American children. So that was something that was pretty normalized in my upbringing. On the other side of that, my father's family was very instrumental in various liberation movements, affiliations with the Black Panthers. And so I also grew up in a very black nationalist leaning family. So, I mean, I couldn't run away from just anything that had to do with considering identity politics and what it meant to be “both and” so the wrestle started really early with me. I also want to say that because I was indoctrinated in so many questions of what it meant to be whatever it is that I was at the time. Cause you know these issues are fluid and the questions are fluid. So that extended all the way throughout even my educational journey having pursued not just a musical degree, but also degrees in cultural studies. It was the only place that I could really wrestle and engage with literature that I was already introduced to as a child, but to, you know, have opportunities to deep dive into that literature, highlighting certain figures, engaging with the writers of these literature. So by the time I got to college, it was piano performance and Africana studies for me. In the arts, through my music through musical theater performance, my Polynesian dance background, it all just kind of jumbled up into this journey of always seeking spaces that allow for that type of inquiry.   So, after undergrad, this turns into a Fullbright study and then eventually a PHD in Music and Pacific and Samoan studies. In that journey, I did not think that the outcome would be as rich as it became. I did seek out one of my supervisors, who was Teresia Teaiwa. A very prominent poet, spoken word artist and scholar, and she was the founder of the Pacific Studies program at Victoria University in Wellington, New Zealand. So I went to study underneath her. She actually is African American Banaban so from the Kiribati islands and amongst her like astounding output of work, she reached out to me and four other African American Pacific women historian artists, like we all share the same general identities to start an organization, or at least an affinity conversationalist group, called Black Atlantic, Blue Pacific. This was back in 2014 when she started the conversation with us again, I had an opportunity to now, across the world, connect with other African American Pacific peoples that were rooted in other spaces. So I was the one who was, you know, born and raised in the US But then we had Joy Enomoto an African American Hawaiian who's based in Hawaii. Ojeya Cruz, African American [?] and LV McKay, who is African American Maori based in Aotearoa. So we got together and started having very specific conversations around our responses to Black Lives Matter as it was gaining much momentum in 2015. And it was my supervisor Teresia, that said, “You have to open up about how you feel,” and particularly because I was so far away from what home was for me, she offered up a space for me to not only explore further what my response to the movement was, but also just my identity in tandem with the rest of them. So we actually began to create performance pieces along with scholarly writing about that particular moment and went to this festival of Pacific arts in 2016 which was in Guam and pretty much had a very ritualistic talk. It wasn'tinteractive, it was our space to share what our experience and stories were with an audience who did not have a chance to engage with us on it. It was us just claiming our space to say that we exist in the first place. And that was a very powerful moment for me and for the others. So to connect this back to four years later, when Jason reaches out about Black + Blue in the Pacific, the name of this group actually came from the publication that we put together for that 2016 FESPAC presentation. It really was a moment that I actually didn't think would extend out in the ways that it has, but it also felt like a duty to extend that conversation and Teresia Teaiwa has since passed, but it felt like, you know, this is what, this is the work that, that I've given you to do. So it just felt very natural to join with my cousin in this work and realize what this conversation could be across the water again, back home in the US.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:18:09] Listening to you I was I don't want to say envious, but I didn't have that same experience growing up. And, you know, oftentimes I wonder where I would be in my identity crisis, which seems like it has lasted for so long, if I had shared in similar experience as a child. I grew up in predominantly black communities and all black apostolic school and I just, I didn't have other, I mean I ran up to the one girl I saw as a college freshman and squeezed her. So that tells you a lot, but I shared similar experiences as an undergrad or in college in majoring in black studies, majoring in theater, musical theater and that being the space where I got to at least express some of who I am or who I want it to be, but definitely trying to create what you experienced or had for my daughter now, trying to make sure that she gets to be as pro black and black and proud as she wants to be rocking her Angela Davis fro while also wearing her Puletasi, trying really hard to make sure that she has all of that. Growing up, I never felt like I was welcomed in Samoan or Poly spaces or fully in black spaces either. I felt like folks had to make a point to other me or erase part of my identity for their convenience. And it's only now that I am learning who my Samoan relatives are, what are our namesake or the villages that my family comes from and reconnecting with aunts and uncles and my grandparents through the powers of Facebook. But over the years, it's been a long like push and pull. And it's because our last names are, our names are very distinctive. And so when you put that name in there suddenly like, “Oh, I found all these relatives.” Like I didn't have to do the ancestry thing because you put the name in on Facebook and all of a sudden you find all your cousins and you're seeing childhood pictures where like your own kid can't tell who's who so I know we're related. You know what I mean? But anyway, like over the years it's been this like back and forth of me deleting relatives and then, you know, letting them come back because I don't know how to broach the conversation about their anti-blackness. I don't know what to tell them when they post something that is very racist and absolutely not okay. And I don't know what to do other than, you know, I'm just going to delete you and then maybe 2 years from now, I'll, as you as a friend, again, we could try this one more time. And I have one aunt in particular, a great aunt who there was just a misunderstanding. I didn't respond to a message right away after not seeing her since I was maybe 5 or 6. I can't remember. But in my 20s, I'm getting married, she's sending me messages and I didn't respond right away. And the response I got included her calling me the N word. And so then I'm like, “Oh, okay.” I was like, trying to open up and let you all back into my life. And here we are again. So I'm done. And so I spent a lot of time, like picking and choosing who I was going to let in or not and so I've started this journey at 30. I want to learn my language. I want to figure out who is in my family tree. Who are my people? Where do I come from? And be selective about who I choose to actually grow relationships with. Like I can still know who they are, where they come from, where I come from, what my roots are, and also make choices about who gets to be in my life. And I'm only just now realizing that at 32, as I try to learn my language and reclaim what is mine, what belongs to me. All of that aside, can you relate to any of that? And if so, is there an experience that you feel comfortable sharing?   Courtney-Savali Andrews: [00:22:00] I absolutely relate to that, to the extent, I mean, I had to go and try to get a PhD just to expand conversation with my family and I had to do it across the water. I got to a point where, just asking questions, about, you know, cultural matters, or even trying to navigate my way through a family event, while I've had many wonderful experiences, just trying to, again dig deep to understand why are we who we are, why are our family issues what they are those kinds of things, I would always hit a particular wall that was met with either like, “Why do you even care?” Or “Oh, that's not important.” But it was, this is not important for you. And I, you know, took that with a lot of like, “Well, what's that mean? I can learn anything.” And then again, that, that comes from this, like I said, black nationalist attitude of I am wholly wonderful, just in my skin as I am. Therefore, I'm smart. I'm, you know, all of those kinds of things. So it became a learning quest for me to say, not only am I going to go after learning as much as I can. I'm going to get the highest degree you could possibly get in it only to now reach a point. I mean, I'm 10 years into this program and it's been the one-two punch all the way through. And now I'm on the other side of this journey, realizing that even in that quest, this really doesn't change many of my conversations if I go back into my family, nor is it really looked upon as a notable achievement, which is to be questioned because it's like, I've done everything that I possibly can. But at the same time, it really does feel like this is the black experience as it connects to respectability politics. On another side of thing I suppose, try to aspire to be a race woman for the Pacific and specifically the Samoan identity. And that's just a really, really tall order. Right. All that to say, yes, I absolutely identify and realize that my conversation can only be had with those who are open to have it. I think that right now in this particular moment, we have more Pacific peoples and more people in our families that are willing to at least sit at the table and have conversation because they have new language around what they are wanting to know and what they would like to see for their own community. So that's really, really refreshing and inspiring.   Jason Finau: [00:24:46] I agree. I definitely [have] a lot of experience and feeling in feeling othered and feeling that my black identity was conveniently left out in a lot of conversations and a lot of learning lessons, I think, growing up. In contrast to Courtney's upbringing, I was born and raised on the Samoan side. It was everything Samoan related. My first language was Samoan. My mom stopped speaking Samoan to me at home because she recognized that I was struggling in school early on like in pre- k, kindergarten, first grade, because I couldn't keep up with the other students and they didn't have ESL for Samoan speaking kids. So, I think as a protective factor, my mother just started to distance me from the Samoan language in order to excel in school. And I think that a lot of having been able to grow up in a very large Samoan family and engaging in a lot of the traditional activities and cultural practices and doing the dances and going to a local [?] church. Having that has always been great but I think that seeing the way or listening to the way that other Samoans would refer to their own family members who were black and Pacific Islander or black and Samoan in those families, a lot of the times the language is just so derogatory, but they, that language never used to, or was never directed at me. And I think that part of that was because that people knew who my mother was and they knew who my grandparents were and I think I was insulated from a lot of that negative talk, negative behaviors against those who identified as black and then like the children that were products of those Samoan and black relationships. I reflect on that quite often because I think that when listening to a lot of the stories that I've been able to bear witness to in our black and PI group. You know, like I mentioned before that we are seeing like two different, two different upbringings, two different ways that people experience their lives as being black and Samoan. And for me, it was like, because I was wrapped in that Samoan culture, that black identity of mine was never really addressed or talked about. That then it made me feel like I just, I'm a Samoan boy. I don't identify as someone who was black. I didn't identify as someone who was black or was comfortable with identifying as someone who was black until my 20s. Late 20s, early 30s, you know when I introduced myself, it was always Samoan first black second, everything that I did, instead of joining the Black Student Union group, I joined all the Asian and Pacific Island groups at any school that I went to again, as I said, being a military brat, I went to a lot of schools growing up before college. And then in college a lot of different universities. And when I went to those programs, like in high school and junior high, I'd always be, I would always join the Asian Pacific Island groups because I didn't feel comfortable being a part of the black, any of the Black Student Unions or any black affinity groups, because again like I said my for me internally, I was Samoan and that's where I wanted to be. I didn't recognize for myself because I could see it in the mirror that I presented as someone like a black male and I think that part of the reason why I also steered more towards Asian and Pacific Island groups was because I wanted people to see me as this black guy walking into your Asian and Pacific Island group, who also is Samoan but you don't know that until I tell you. And that was for me to share and for me to just sit there for them to stare at me until I made that truth known. And that was my way of addressing that issue within the PI community. But it was also a way for me to run away from that black identity to hide from that black identity because I wasn't, I didn't want to be identified that way when I was in the API group. It's because I wanted to be identified as Samoan and not black, even though I presented. So in thinking about how a lot of those conversations went, I think one situation in particular really stuck out for me. And that's when I did a study abroad in New Zealand during undergrad and, you know, there's this whole thing about the term mea uli in Samoan to describe someone who is black and Samoan and that was the term that I remember using and being told. As a kid, growing up, my mom used it, didn't seem like there was an issue. All family members, everyone in the community is using it. So I just assumed that is exactly how it was. I never had the wherewithal to think about how to break down that word, mea uli, and think of it as like a black thing. So I was in New Zealand studying abroad and I met some students, some Samoan students in one of my classes. They invited me to their church, the local [?] church. I was like, oh great, I'll go to church while I'm here. Satisfy my mom. She's back home in Oceanside, California, telling me that I need to go to church, that I need to focus on my studies. So I do this. I go with them. And as they're introducing me to folks at their church, when I describe myself as mea uli I mean, you can hear a pin drop. It was like, these people were I don't know, embarrassed for me, embarrassed for themselves to hear me use that word to describe myself. It was just, I was, I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed about my identity than I was in that one moment, because then my friend had to pull me off to the side, just like “Oh, we don't use that word here.” Like she's like, schooling me on how derogatory that term was for those Samoans in New Zealand who identify as black and Samoan. And mind you, the friends that I was with, they were, they're both sides of the family are Samoan, and so this is a conversation that they're having with me as people who aren't, who don't identify as black and Samoan. And so then when I, I brought that back to my mom and I was just like, “Did you know this? Like, how could you let me go through life thinking this, saying this, using this word, only to come to this point in my adult life where now I'm being told that it's something derogatory.” That was a conversation that my mom and I had that we were forced to have. And I think for her, very apologetic on her end, I think she understood where I was coming from as far as like the embarrassment piece. But from her, from her perspective and her side of it, she didn't speak English when she first got to the United States either. She graduated from nursing school in American Samoa, had been in American Samoa that whole time, born and raised, came to the United States, California, didn't speak a lick of English, and was just trying to figure out her way through the whole navigating a prominently white society and trying to figure out English. And so I think language was one of the least of her worries, as far as that might have been because it's just like coupled on with a bunch of things. I mean, this is a Samoan woman who doesn't speak very much English, who is now in the military, in the Navy. So, in an occupation that is predominantly male, predominantly white and predominantly English speaking. And so, for her, there was a lot of things going on for herself that she had to protect herself from. And I think she tried to use some of those same tactics to protect me. But not understanding that there is now this added piece of blackness, this black identity that her child has to navigate along with that Samoan identity. And so, we've had some really great conversations around the choices that she had to make that she felt like in the moment were the right choices to keep me safe, to get me what I needed in order to graduate high school on time unlike a lot of our other family members, to go to college, you know, again, being the first one to have a bachelor's degree and the first one to have a master's degree, within our family tree. And so, a lot of the successes that I've had in life to be able to get to this point and have these conversations and to facilitate a group like black and PI, Black + Blue in the Pacific and to be on a podcast with all of you, were the sacrifices and choices that my mom had to make back.   I say all that because those, the choices that she had to make, she wasn't able to make them in an informed way that would have promoted my black identity along with my Samoan identity. And so having to navigate that on my own. I didn't grow up with my dad, so I don't have any connection. I didn't have any connection to the black side of my family. And so I didn't have, and then growing up in Hawaii and in Southern California, primary like San Diego, in the education piece, like the majority of my teachers were white, or in San Diego, a lot of them were Latin, Latinx, and then in Hawaii, a lot of them, they were either white or they were some type of Asian background like a lot of Chinese, a lot of Japanese teachers, but I didn't have any, I never had a Polynesian teacher, Pacific Islander teacher, and I never had a black teacher until I got to college, and then seeing that representation also had an impact on me. I think one of my most favorite sociology professors at California State University in San Marcos. Dr. Sharon Elise was just this most phenomenal, eye opening, unapologetically black woman. And it was just like the first time I was ever able to like be in the company of that type of presence and it was glorious. And I think it was part of the reason why I switched from pre med to social work. In thinking about, and going back to your original question about an experience of being othered or feeling like your black identity is erased in that company. Like I said, I walk confidently amongst and within Samoan communities, but not nearly as confidently as I do in black spaces. And even when I'm in those Samoan spaces, I'll walk into it, but then the first thing I'll do is share my last name. And then the moment I say my last name, then it's like, okay, now we can all breathe. I've been accepted. They know who I am because of who my family is based on the name that I provide. When I go into a black space, I don't have that. I don't have that convenience. I don't have that luxury. And so I think that's another reason why I was okay with allowing that black identity, my black identity to be ignored, to be silenced, to be othered because it was just easier. I think I had a lot more luxuries being on the Samoan side, than being on the black side. And now where I am today, both personally and professionally, a much, much more confident conversation can be had for myself, with myself about my identity. And then having those same conversations with my family and with my friends and in thinking about hard conversations with family members around anti-blackness, around the use of derogatory language, or around just the fact like, because we are half Samoan that we could never fully appreciate the Samoan culture and tradition. But I look at my cousins who are full Samoan, who barely speak the language, who barely graduated from high school or like are in situations where they aren't able to fully utilize an identity that can bring them the fullness or richness of their background. I'm like, all right, well, if you want to have conversations about someone who was half versus full, and then looking at those folks who are back on the island and what their perception of full Samoans are on the continental US and all of those things, like, there's so many layers between the thought processes of those who consider themselves Samoan or even just Pacific Islander, and what does that mean to them based on where they're from. And then you add that biological piece, then it's like, okay, well those who are on the continental US or outside of American Samoa or the independent nation of Samoa, what does that mean for them to be Samoan [unintelligible].   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:35:15] One of the things that you said that really resonated with me was when you were sharing the story of how your mother had, as you said, tactics to protect you as she navigated in these predominantly white spaces. That reminds me of a quote by Dr. Cornel West, who talked about having our cultural armor on. And when Courtney was sharing her story, I was thinking about how there's also educational armor and linguistic armor, and we put on layers of armor to protect ourselves in these white supremacist institutions and spaces. So both of you sharing your story and journey really was powerful for me, and also grounding it in the formative years of your educational journey and your race consciousness journey. One of the pivotal factors in my evolution and my race consciousness was being a part of the Black Student Union in my undergraduate school. And I'm Filipino, my mother's from Manila, my father's from Pampanga province. And it was actually the black community that embraced and raised my consciousness around my own liberation as an Asian person, as a Filipino person. So I'm a student in many ways, and my intellectual and spiritual evolution was really informed by the black liberation movement.   Swati Rayasam: [00:36:43] You are tuned in to APEX Express on 94.1 KPFA, 89.3 KPFB in Berkeley, 88.1 KFCF in Fresno and online at kpfa.org. Coming up is “March 4 Education” on the Anakbayan Long Beach May Day mixtape.   SONG   Swati Rayasam: [00:37:03] That was “Find my Way” by Rocky Rivera on her Nom de Guerre album. And before that was “March 4 Education” on the Anakbayan Long Beach May Day mixtape. And now back to the ConShifts podcast.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:44:12] So this is all very powerful and grounds us back in the topic that we're trying to unpack. So I have a question for both of you on how do we begin to interrogate anti-blackness in Asian and Pacific Island communities, specifically among Polynesians, Asians, Micronesians. How might we uproot anti-blackness in the spaces that we find ourselves?   Courtney-Savali Andrews: [00:44:36] I think we need to start with identifying what blackness is in these conversations before we get to the anti part. Are we talking about skin? Are we talking about, you know, cultural expression? Are we talking about communities, black communities within our own respective nations? So one of the things that in thinking through this, today's conversation, you know, I was thinking that, you know, starting with identifying our indigenous black communities at home, you know, in pre-colonial times. And even as we have the development of the nation state, just seeing where people are in their understandings of those communities would be a wonderful place to start before we even get to the drama that is white supremacy in the US and how that monster manifests here and then spreads like a rash to the the rest of the colonial world. I would really start with like, what are we talking about in terms of black and blackness before we go into how people are responding in a way to be against it.   Jason Finau: [00:45:52] Yeah, that was solid Court. Definitely providing that definition of what blackness is in order to figure out exactly what anti-blackness is. Kind of adding to that is looking around at the various organizations that are out there. When we go back to the earlier examples of being in API spaces, but primarily seeing more Asian faces or Asian presenting faces, thinking about, and I'm just thinking about like our Black + Blue group, like, there are so many of us who identify as black and Pacific Islander or black and Asian. And yet the representation of those folks in spaces where nonprofit organizations, community organizations are trying to do more to advance the API agenda items to make sure that we get more access to resources for our specific communities, whether that's education, healthcare, employment resources, all of that. When we look at those organizations who are pushing that for our community, you just see such a lack of black and brown faces who are part of those conversations. And I would have to say that for those organizations and for the people who will participate in any of those activities that they promote. To look around and not see one person who presents as black and may identify as black and PI seems kind of problematic to me because, you know, I used to think that growing up in the 80s and 90s that outside of my cousins, there were no other black and PI people. I'm learning now as I get older and again with our Black + Blue group, that there are so many of us, I mean, there are folks who are older than I am. There are a number of people around the same age. And then there's so many young kids. And so for none of those folks to feel, and that is another, that was a common theme, from our group was that a lot of the folks just didn't feel comfortable in PI spaces to be if they were black in and Hawaiians might be comfortable in the Hawaiian space to speak up and say anything or in whatever Pacific Island space that they also belong to is that they just didn't feel comfortable or seen enough to be a part of those. I think you know, once we identify what blackness is within our within the broader API community, we can also look at well, you know, why aren't there more people like us, those of us who do identify as black and PI, why aren't more of us involved in these conversations, being asked to be a part of these conversations, and helping to drive a lot of the messages and a lot of the agendas around garnering resources for our community.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:48:18] One of the pieces that's really present for me, when you started asking the question on how we define blackness before we begin the conversation around anti-blackness reminded me of Steve Biko learning about the black consciousness movement in South Africa and the anti apartheid movement. I had the opportunity to travel to South Africa for global learning fellowship and started to learn more about the anti apartheid movement. But when Steve Biko discussed black consciousness as an attitude of mind and a way of life, it got me thinking in one direction while at the same time in this conversation that we're having here, when we talk about colorism with post colonial society, the Philippines being one of them, how does colorism show up? I'm wrestling that. So I just appreciate you bringing that question into the space.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:49:05] So Black + Blue, it's an affinity space for black Polys and I need to just say thank you for providing the space. It has been therapeutic and healing and again, everything I knew I needed and had no idea where to find. So I appreciate it so much. So I'm wondering, I guess, how do we create similar spaces for other folks? Or is there a need to like, does Black + Blue just exist for us? And is that enough? Or do we need to start thinking about doing more to create similar spaces for other folks? And I'll leave that to whoever wants to respond before my final question.   Courtney-Savali Andrews: [00:49:45] I'll just jump in and say that I think that, you know, any opportunity for folks to gather to create and wrestle through dialogue is absolutely necessary at this particular point in time with social media and a fairly new cancel culture that exists. It's really a detriment to having people understand how to connect and even connect through disagreement. So I think that there should always be space made for people to have tough conversations, along with the celebratory ones. So I'm always all for it.   Jason Finau: [00:50:23] Yeah, I would agree. I think if I've learned anything out of being able to facilitate the Black + Blue group that there is just such a desire for it and unknown and even an unknown desire. I think people, you know, didn't realize they needed it until they had it. And I think it feels unique now it being a black and Blue space, Black + Blue Pacific space. But I can see that need kind of going outside of us. How do we take the conversations that we're having with each other, the learning and the unlearning, the unpacking of experiences, the unpacking of feelings and emotions and thoughts about what we've all been through to share that with the broader Pacific Island community in a way that can steer some people away from some of the negative, behaviors that we find that can be associated in speaking of people who identify as black or African American? But I can see that as not just for those who identify as black and Pacific Islander, but also for parents of children who are black and Pacific Islander, and for the youth. So like right now our Black + Blue group is geared towards the adult population of those who identify as black and PI. But then also thinking about like the younger generation, those who are in high school or in middle school or junior high school, who are also maybe going through the same things that we all went through at that point and needing a safe space to have those conversations and kind of process those things. Because they may have a parent who may not understand, you know, if they only have their Pacific Island parent, or they're primarily identifying with their black side because they don't feel comfortable with the Pacific Island side, whatever their journey is being able to provide that for them, but then also providing a space for parents to understand where their kids may be coming from, to hear from experiences and learn and potentially provide their kids with the resources to navigate very complex ideas. One's identity journey is not simple. It is not easy. It is not quick. And so it's hard. And that is not something, I mean, and I don't expect every parent, regardless of what their children's ethnic background is, to understand what that means like for their kids. But to be able to have a space where they can talk it out with other parents. But I also see that for our Latinx and PI community. I see that for our Asian and PI community, those who identify as both being Asian and Pacific Islander. For me, that just comes from a personal experience because my mom is one of nine. And I think out of the nine, three of the kids had children with other Samoan partners, and the rest had either a black partner, has a Mexican partner, has a partner who identifies as Chinese and Japanese, and has another partner who is white. But I have cousins who are in this space, and so we can all share in the fact that, although we may not all physically identify or people may not be able to physically recognize us as Samoans, that is what we all share in common. So having that for them as well. And then, you know, right now we're in COVID. So it's been a blessing and a curse to be in this pandemic, but I think the blessing part was that we were able to connect with so many people in our group who are from across the states and even across the waters. Once we're able to move past this pandemic and go back to congregating in person, being able to have groups within your respective cities to be able to go and talk in person, whether it's in Seattle, Los Angeles, New York, you know, folks out in Hawaii and like in Aotearoa. Who wants to continue engaging with other folks that they feel comfortable identifying or who they also identify with. Do I think that there is a need? Absolutely. And I can see it just across the board whether people know it or not, I think once we put it in front of them, that is where they'll see like, “Yeah, we need that.”   Courtney-Savali Andrews: [00:53:57] I just wanted to also highlight, you know, a point of significance for me with this group and hopefully one that would serve as a model for other organizations and groups that may develop after this, is modeled off of cultural studies, which is the process of actually remembering and relearning things that we've things and peoples that we've forgotten and with Black + Blue in the Pacific, it's really important to me to also include, and keep the Melanesian, the black Pacific voice in that conversation to model for other peoples of color to reach out to black peoples at home, or regionally to understand and again, remember those particular cultural networks that existed in pre colonial times and even sometimes well into colonial times, as current as you know, the 1970s black liberation movements to highlight Asian and Pacific and, and, and, and other peoples that were non black, but very instrumental in that fight for liberation as a whole, but starting with black liberation first. So, I think this is a really good time in an effort towards uprooting anti-blackness to highlight just how old our relationships with black peoples and black peoples in relationship with Asians and Pacific peoples, South Asians, Southeast Asians, it just goes on and on, to say that we've been in community positively before, so we can do it again.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:55:52] That is the most perfect way to wrap up the episode in reminding us to remember, and reminding us that all of our liberation is definitely tied to black liberation that they're inextricably linked together. Thank you, Courtney. Thank you, Jason. Fa'a fatai te le lava thank you for listening.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:56:13] Salamat thank you for listening.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:56:14] We want to thank our special guests, Jason and Courtney, one more time for rapping with us tonight. We appreciate you both for being here and really helping us continue to build the groundwork for Continental Shifts Podcast.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:56:24] Continental Shift Podcast can be found on Podbean, Apple, Spotify, Google, and Stitcher.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:56:30] Be sure to like and subscribe on YouTube for archive footage and grab some merch on our website.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:56:36] Join our mailing list for updates at conshiftspodcast.com. That's C-O-N-S-H-I-F-T-S podcast dot com and follow us at con underscore shifts on all social media platforms.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:56:52] Dope educators wayfinding the past, present, and future.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:56:56] Keep rocking with us fam, we're gonna make continental shifts through dialogue, with love, all together.   Estella Owoimaha-Church: [00:57:02] Fa'fetai, thanks again. Tōfā, deuces.   Gabriel A. Tanglao: [00:57:04] Peace, one love.   Swati Rayasam: [00:57:07] Please check out our website, kpfa.org backslash program backslash apex express. To find out more about the show tonight and to find out how you can take direct action. We thank all of you listeners out there. Keep resisting, keep organizing, keep creating and sharing your visions with the world. Your voices are important. Apex Axpress is produced by Miko Lee, along with Paige Chung, Jalena Keene-Lee, Preeti Mangala Shekar, Anuj Vaida, Kiki Rivera, Nate Tan, Hien Ngyuen, Cheryl Truong, and me Swati Rayasam. Thank you so much to the team at KPFA for their support and have a great night. The post APEX Express – 4.11.24 – ConShifts Anti-blackness in the PI Community appeared first on KPFA.

Host Aaron Mikami and Gerald Welch with special guests Rocky Rivera and Boston Opetaia. 

The mission of law & disorder is to expose, agitate and build a new world where all of us can thrive. But how do we get there? How do we build a world many of us have only seen in our dreams? That's where we believe the artists come in. So, each week we feature an artist, holding down a weekly residency with us, helping us to imagine a different, more liberated world. This week's Resistance in Residence Artist Bay Area rapper and hip hop journalist Rocky Rivera whose album Gangster of Love celebrates a 10 year anniversary this week. Info for the Gangster Of Love 10th anniversary event and special edition vinyl: https://www.thestacksrecordshop.com/ Check out Rocky Rivera's website: https://www.rockyrivera.com/ — Subscribe to this podcast: https://plinkhq.com/i/1637968343?to=page Get in touch: lawanddisorder@kpfa.org Follow us on socials @LawAndDis: https://twitter.com/LawAndDis; https://www.instagram.com/lawanddis/ The post Resistance in Residence Artist: Rocky Rivera appeared first on KPFA.

A weekly magazine-style radio show featuring the voices and stories of Asians and Pacific Islanders from all corners of our community. The show is produced by a collective of media makers, deejays, and activists. Host Miko Lee speaks with the creatives behind San Francisco Chinatown's 2nd Annual Contemporary Arts Festival – Under the Same Sun: Reimagining the Edges of Chinatown. This community event is produced by Edge on the Square, the same folx who produced last year's Neon was Never Brighter. Miko chats with curator Candace Huey and artists Connie Zheng and members of the Macro Waves Collective.   Under the Same Sun Transcripts [00:00:00] Opening: Asian Pacific expression. Unity and cultural coverage, music and calendar revisions influences Asian Pacific Islander. It's time to get on board. The Apex Express. Good evening. You're tuned in to Apex Express. [00:00:18] Jalena Keane-Lee: We're bringing you an Asian American Pacific Islander view from the Bay and around the world. [00:00:22] Miko Lee: I'm your host tonight, this is Miko Lee. And you get the pleasure of hearing about the amazing edge on the square second annual contemporary art festival. I speak with the curator, Candace Huey, along with some of the powerhouse artists that are behind the interactive events that are happening as part of this festival in San Francisco, Chinatown on September 30th. Also, I'm going to be there. From seven 30 to eight 30, Leading a panel discussion all about the intersections between arts and politics and ways that we can think about how to re-imagine the edges of social justice and equity. We hope that you'll join us and listen tonight to this episode with some artists talking about how we can all be change makers, shake things up, enjoy some art and go out in the Chinatown community in San Francisco so enjoy the episode. Welcome Candice Huey to Apex Express. [00:01:23] Candace Huey: Thank you, Miko. So excited to be back here with you again. [00:01:26] Miko Lee: We are here to talk about Edge on the Square's second annual Contemporary Art Festival. I loved last year's Neon Was Never Brighter. First, just start by telling us about Edge on the Square. [00:01:40] Candace Huey: Thank you, Miko. So edge on the square is a new arts and cultural hub located in the heart of San Francisco, Chinatown. It is a project by C Mac, and it is a place based cultural hub that celebrates, explores and supports leading and pioneering creative expressions at the intersection of community, art and multiracial democracy. [00:02:04] Miko Lee: Ooh, that's so many things and so many important things in this time of turmoil that we're living in. Last year's Neon Was Never Brighter was so fun, so much interactive art. Tell us about the theme for this year and how you came up with it. [00:02:19] Candace Huey: Thank you. So this year, we're excited to be back. It's going to be Saturday, September 30th from 5 p. m. to 10 p. m. We were really excited to gather some amazing local and international API artists. We worked this year with esteemed curators. I'm joined by. PJ. Polly Carpio Arena, Alejo and Sarah Wesson Chang to help inform the vision of the theme, which is under the same sun. Reimagining the edges of Chinatown. [00:02:54] Miko Lee: Oh, I love that title. I have been talking with some of the artists which we're going to hear from soon about how they take that theme and what does it mean to them? Can you tell us what it means for you to have this theme of under the same sun? And what are the edges of Chinatown? What does this theme mean? [00:03:12] Candace Huey: Sure. Happy to share about The theme of the festival under the same sun reimagining the edges of Chinatown for this year's Contemporary Art Festival, while this year's festival is really focused on the unity and solidarity of the API communities coming together during this tough time ongoing, we're still grappling with the after effects of the pandemic and we're still in the pandemic and we're still facing a lot of adversity from the ongoing anti Asian rhetoric. And compounded with this past year's moments of, you know, tragic tragedies in the Supreme Court with overturning of Roe versus Wade affirmative action and other discriminatory policy policies, not only affecting API communities, but other underserved communities of color. we felt that it was still really important to focus on unity on solidarity and coming together, but also thinking about how could we re imagined and redefine, both Boundaries and borders real and imagined that exists not only in Chinatown, but beyond between different communities of color and coming together and commenting on the fact that the critical work for social justice and equity is continuous and ongoing. [00:04:27] Miko Lee: Okay, so as an audience member, I get myself into Chinatown. I'm on that the square. What do I see? [00:04:35] Candace Huey: We're having multimedia, fun, exciting art installations and activations ranging from dance performances to music to nighttime projections to artwork, interactive installations. There's even a sound bath. That's going to be located inside 800 Grant Avenue by the artist collective Macro Waves. We're having a digital work by Indira Allegra, which is a digital tapestry, a collective new take on what is a memorial monument in the community sense, but basically edge on the square and this contemporary festival is thinking about how can we use art to come together And to heal and really think about potent regeneration and thinking about collective power. [00:05:24] Miko Lee: Ooh, collective power folks join up and come to edge on the square, second annual contemporary art festival, the end of this month, September 30th. And we're going to hear next from a bunch of different artists, including the macro waves and Connie Zhang. So stay tuned. [00:05:40] Candace Huey: Under the same sun, reimagining the edges of Chinatown is a free, open to the public, family friendly event, accessible to wheelchairs. We are expecting lots of fun, so come, enjoy yourselves, and be delighted. [00:05:56] Miko Lee: Candace Huey, thank you so much for joining us. And more than that, thank you so much for putting this artistry out into the community so that we can grow and heal and make changes together. [00:06:07] Candace Huey: Thank you, Miko. It's a truly an honor to speak with you and also to work with such talented artists and curators. [00:06:17] Jalena Keane-Lee: Next up, listen, to find my way by Rocky Rivera. MUSIC [00:09:45] Jalena Keane-Lee: That was find my way by Rocky Rivera [00:09:49] Miko Lee: Thank you, Connie Zheng, for coming on Apex Express. [00:09:57] Connie Zheng: Thank you, Miko. [00:09:59] Miko Lee: We are so excited to have you here. You are such a brilliant artist, scholar. You do so many different things. And I just love to hear a little bit more about who are your people and what legacy do you carry from them? [00:10:15] Connie Zheng: Thank you so much for this question. It's a really generous and expansive question .When I think about who my people are there's a broader community of Asian American API progressives, artists, activists intellectuals who I consider part of my community. There's also people whose legacy I'd love to carry. But who maybe I don't know personally. When I think about who my people are they're really people who are dedicated to creating better futures for all of us who are dedicated to collective thriving and liberation and change. There's a very literal answer to that question, which is my people are other Chinese Americans, but I think it's really important for me to think of a larger, more expansive community of people who are committed to the same sorts of Politics and goals for collective health and thriving and and freedom. [00:11:41] Miko Lee: Thank you for that. And speaking of that, you are going to be one of the many artists in Chinatown Media and Arts Collaborative's second annual arts event. This year it's called Under the Same Sun, Reimagining Collective Liberation from the Edges of Chinatown. Can you tell me about what that theme title means to you? How do you interpret it? [00:12:03] Connie Zheng: Yeah. Thank you. So when, yeah, the first time the curators shared the framework of under the same sun for me, I was really excited about this idea of collective thriving and growing. Because we are literally all under the same sun. Maybe it shines differently for different people or we all respond to it differently. This is a cheesy answer, but we are all actually on the same planet and we're all responsible. That responsibility is distributed somewhat differently because of our how different people, use the resources and steward the land differently, but we are all responsible one way or another for , our collective future. For me, Under the Same Sun speaks to questions of responsibility, it speaks to questions of collective growth, and nourishment, and our ability to feel the same kind of joy or radiance, and the conditions that enable that radiance. [00:13:12] Miko Lee: What do you think from the edges of Chinatown means? [00:13:15] Connie Zheng: When I think about edges I think about borders and boundaries and how they're often very porous, and also how the edge is really where I some of the most visible forms of change happen. It's not usually from the center , I'm really interested in thresholds, and how no every edge is both the ending and beginning and that sort of space where beings and things and entities cross over to become something else is really fascinating for me, and so the edge of Chinatown there's the literal boundary on a map of where Chinatown as a neighborhood begins and ends, but also the community in Chinatown , it's not limited to those 9 or 10 or 11 blocks. It's much bigger than that. It's much more expansive and diffused than that. I think that slippage between where the sort of bureaucratic designation of a neighborhood and a community like that tension or flow is really interesting for me. [00:14:42] Miko Lee: Oh, I like this philosophical every end beginning. That's lovely. You were raised in China. So when did you first see San Francisco Chinatown? What was your first experience with that? [00:14:53] Connie Zheng: I think I first visited Chinatown in actually in college. So I was born in China, and I mostly grew up on the East Coast. I spent a lot of time in Boston Chinatown and before that I lived in a very predominantly white working class town in Pennsylvania. There were not very many Asian people. My parents would have to drive two hours every month to the nearest Chinese grocery store. Growing up for me Boston Chinatown was like a revelation and coming to San Francisco for the first time and going to Chinatown was like a shock. It was incredible . Walking through the neighborhoods or walking past the small vendors, The stalls, reminded me of being in Asia and it was really magical. I didn't know that existed outside of Asia. The more that I learned about San Francisco Chinatown, it's history why the architecture is the way that it is and how it was really like a safe haven for a lot of people. Specifically during Chinese exclusion. It's a place that is filled with so much significance and meaning, and it's really special to have been able to do work there over the past year and to continue doing work there. [00:16:25] Miko Lee: You've done a number of site specific interactive projects, can you tell us about the one that you will be doing as a part of the upcoming Under the Same Sun? [00:16:33] Connie Zheng: I will be making a modular outdoor garden installation called Nine Suns, and it's in reference to the Chinese myth of Houyi and the Ten Suns. In this story, there were once ten suns, in the days when gods roamed the earth. The ten suns would usually cross the sky one by one. One day all ten of the sun appeared in the sky at once and started burning the earth. This archer Shot down nine of the suns and left just the one that we have today. I'm really interested in trying to imagine a more gentle transformation of the nine suns who fall from the sky. In the standard myth the archer is like the hero but I've read like a number of sort of accounts that reference this myth that nuance the story a little bit by mentioning how like cruel and unkind this archer is. Especially since his wife is Chang'e, the moon goddess, who literally escaped from him I was really interested in reframing this myth and not having the emphasis be on this male archer who shoots down these nine sons, who Maybe we're just hanging out together and in this garden installation there will be nine circular planter tubs that are mounted on movable circular dollies. That are painted to look like the suns that were shot down by the archer. And [00:18:10] Miko Lee: so interest. That's very exciting. Wait, where will it be located? [00:18:15] Connie Zheng: I believe it will be located outside of CMAQ on Grant. I think the exact location is still being determined right now, but it'll be a street level installation. Each of the planters will be somewhere around 2 to 3 feet wide. There will be 9 of them and they will be arranged in a sort of wavy horizon line and each of the planters will have like Asian herbs. On the day of the festival, there'll be wavy line that's reminiscent of an undulating horizon. After the festival, the planters will be moved to Kaiming Head Start Preschool actually for use. For the school to use in their outdoor education program, which is really exciting. [00:19:04] Miko Lee: Oh, I love that. So you're making it, you're creating it for this one arts festival, but then it will have an ongoing life with young folks. [00:19:12] Connie Zheng: Exactly. Yeah. And that's really important. I think that was one of the most exciting things about this project. The planters, because they'll be installed on these circular platforms that have wheels on them, they'll be mobile and the idea is for them to be easily configured into different arrangements, depending on the school's needs. That feature was really exciting to me because it's inspired by The reality of very tight space in Chinatown and also in the interconnectedness of the community. I was like, really inspired by and struck by how so many residents of Chinatown are really mobile. They're tracing numerous orbits a day as they go to school, go to work, run errands, see friends and family, and just build these very rich lives with Lots of nodes of connection. The sort of connectivity is really important for me to think about here. I wanted these planters to be mobile, to be easily configured and modular and also to have a life outside of this one day event. [00:20:21] Miko Lee: So what is the walk away message that you want your audience, after coming to see this event, that's a reimagining of this folktale that many of us grew up with, what do you want people to know or to think about when they walk away from your exhibit? [00:20:37] Connie Zheng: It's really exciting for me when a project that I'm working on opens up different angles of thinking about a story that we've inherited. What happens to the fallen sons in this story is something that was really interesting for me and that I hope is interesting for others. The reimagining of these nine fallen suns as gardens is a really lovely thought for me I was really excited about the idea of each of these suns after they've been shot down from the sky, going off and nurturing their own earth, after they've Fall out of the sky, they like maybe roam through the solar system, and or the nebula, and [00:21:28] Miko Lee: They're just out there roaming around the universe. [00:21:31] Connie Zheng: Yeah, but then they find this maybe like a barren rock and then they nurture it into life. They start their own solar system, and so I think this idea of rejected things, creating new life or being the basis of a new ecosystem is something that's always been fascinating to me and I hope that the installation might encourage others to think about that as well the idea of, Things that are fallen, or thrown away, or considered useless as these nine sons were, things that were considered useless, actually being like, the source of new life. [00:22:09] Miko Lee: Rebirth. From the phoenix, they rebirthed. [00:22:13] Connie Zheng: Yeah, totally. I love that. [00:22:15] Miko Lee: Fun, fun. You do so many different types of mediums. You do film and drawing and writing, food events, maps, and plants, we were chatting earlier about mooncake design, and filmmaking, all these different mediums that you utilize. Can you talk a little bit about how the different mediums you use? impact the issue that you're exploring? Are you drawn to film because of this issue or does it just come to you organically? [00:22:43] Connie Zheng: I do like to come to materials organically. I think there's like a lot of unconscious intelligence that we have. If I have an idea for something, usually I'll try to sit on it for a while before I actually make the thing. There's some projects where the form and the material manifest themselves very quickly and early on. Sometimes it's just very obvious for example I recently finished a nine foot long map of Asian farmworker history in California, and I started making it while I was an artist in residence at the 41 Ross Space on Ross Alley. When I first started thinking about how to create this archive of Asian farmworker history in California, the map form was very obvious to me. I was like, oh, it definitely has to be a map. That was a project where I knew exactly what it would be once the idea, once the sort of like germ of the idea bloomed in my brain. [00:23:59] Miko Lee: Oh, I look forward to seeing that work. That's, is that up still? [00:24:03] Connie Zheng: Yeah. Yeah. It's up at the Berkeley Art Center right now, and it will be going To the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts for the Bay Area now triennial in September. that show opens in October. [00:24:16] Miko Lee: Oh, great. So folks can have access to your work in multiple ways. [00:24:20] Miko Lee: I noticed in a lot of your work is addressing environmental awareness and climate change. Have you always woven your politics into your artistry? [00:24:29] Connie Zheng: Certainly not. I think figuring out how to weave my politics into my creative work has been an ongoing process with a lot of trial and error. Not all of my work displays my politics so visibly. I feel like a lot of my creative practice is really just like a series of experiments to figure out what my creative languages. My earliest work was very personal, and as I started to have more of an audience for my work, I was trying to, figure out what kind of dialogue I wanted to have with people. My first short film was, very angry like film essay that was focused on how racialized and class, a lot of American mainstream media rhetoric about pollution is. That was very much inspired by my experiences of my childhood in China and also growing up traveling back and forth between China and the U S and seeing how intensely polluted a lot of the places where my family lived were and then learning more about how that came to be a lot of the worst pollution around the world , can really be traced back to multinational corporations that are based out of the U. S. or North America and Europe. A lot of this terrible pollution is outsourced to countries of the global south, developing nations and also like poor communities, often communities of color in the United States. And the more I learned about this, the more sort of furious I got about it. My first film essay was this extremely finger pointing piece, and the reception for it was really interesting for me. I noticed that the people who responded to it most tended to be like other Asian diasporic people or Asian Americans I received a lot of feedback from That it was didactic. At first that made me really angry to hear that it was didactic, mostly from white viewers and then I think that changed, , and then, , Got me thinking about , what kind of conversation do I want to have? How do I want people to respond to a work? I don't necessarily mean is that going to piss them off or not? I realized that it felt uninviting for people and it felt uninviting for the exact, people I wanted to have that conversation with. I wouldn't say like I've completely changed the way that I work. My writing tends to be much more pointed and my visual work I try to move through a spectrum of Different strategies and ways of weaving my politics into the creative work. Sometimes with certain projects, I want to be more inviting and to plant the seeds of that politics in people, and sometimes it's more like an open conversation, and sometimes it's a little more direct. For the last several years, I've really been experimenting with different strategies and approaches to bring my politics into the work and also to try to make it depending on the context, as inviting as possible without hiding what my politics are. [00:28:32] Miko Lee: Thank you for that. What are you interested in exploring at this Under the Same Sun event? Will you have a chance to walk around and see some of the other artwork, or are you staying with your exhibit? [00:28:43] Connie Zheng: I hope I'll be able to walk around and see other artwork. [00:28:46] Miko Lee: And what is it for yourself? How would you like to walk away from the festival? [00:28:51] Connie Zheng: I would love to have conversations with people about what the festival means to them and what questions it's opening for them and how they see, the installation what inspires in them, what questions it opens for them, I'm really humbled when people bring any real presence to my work, and it's not something I take for granted. I think really just engaging thoughtfully with a creative work that you see is it requires an act of like generosity. Would just be very excited to have conversations with people. [00:29:38] Miko Lee: Well, Connie Zhang, thank you for spending so much time with me. I appreciate you, look forward to seeing your artwork. [00:29:44] Connie Zheng: Thank you. Yeah this has been really lovely and thank you for your time and your attention. [00:29:50] Jalena Keane-Lee: Next up, listen to turn you by Rocky Rivera. MUSIC [00:29:53] Jalena Keane-Lee: That was turn you by Rocky Rivera. [00:32:53] Miko Lee: You're tuned into APEX express on 94.1 K PFA and 89.3 KPFB in Berkeley and online@kpfa.org. Welcome to Apex Express Macro Waves. I'm so excited to talk with you all. You are a locally based creative collective and you create interactive pieces that are around conceptual art, new media, and design. Welcome Robin Bird David, Dominic Cheng, and Jeffrey Yip to Apex Express. [00:33:25] Dominic Cheng: Thanks for having us. [00:33:26] Robin Birdd David: Glad to be here. [00:33:29] Miko Lee: Can I just start with each of you, because we have three different important voices. Can I start with each of you telling me who you are, who are your people, and what legacy do you carry from them? [00:33:45] Robin Birdd David: My name is Robin Bird David. I go by she, they, and that's a big question. I don't think we've ever been asked that question. I think it's an important one. Specifically there's five of us technically in the collective. There's three of us today, who are working on our current project that's coming up with CMAC and Edge on the Square. The collective also includes Tina Kashiwagi and Anam Awan but they are not here today. Specifically with us three, we're all born and raised in the Bay Area, Asian American second generation. So I think that holds an important aspect of the communities we serve. We've been doing a lot of work around stories of different generations of migration, the diaspora particularly with Filipino American, Chinese American we've done work around Japanese American stories, intergenerational stories. So I'll leave it there and pass it along to Dominic. [00:34:50] Dominic Cheng: For the most part. We represent our collective, which is mostly Asian American and Pan Asian artists. All of us come from different backgrounds of art practice. we really strive to collaborate and share our skills and our different experiences and really tried to build upon work that isn't necessarily representative of one single individual. And it's more centered around our collective experience and so as My collective mate Robin had mentioned we do a lot of work that's really introspective and looking at our ancestry as Asians in America or Asian Americans in America. We really try to focus a lot on exploring intergenerational experiences and issues, a lot of trauma and healing that we try to integrate with a lot of the work that we're producing. And that's what brings us here today to the project that we are creating as part of the Under the Sun Festival. [00:35:57] Miko Lee: So Jeffrey, who are your people and what legacy do you carry from them? [00:36:06] Jeffrey Yip: When I think of my people, I think of family. How I identify in general is for my upbringing, for my family and all the arguments I've had all the kind of love that was shown to me. I think as you get older, you start to have chosen family, right? Macrowaves we consider ourselves a family and I consider them my chosen family. Our broader community folks, there's so many people, there's so much love , in the Bay Area and specific being the creative kind of scene. Our legacy is we all have something to share in this world, right? As a collective, we've learned that we all bring something special to the table. We highlight our kind of like strengths. We do what we can to help each other. As a collective, we also do that in the broader kind of communities. It's like we, we have something to share. We mentioned this before, is like a collaboration and bring people on board and get to know people, build community, and like grassroots kind of way. [00:37:08] Miko Lee: So thank you for that. [00:37:12] Robin Birdd David: The reason why Macwaves got together in the first place was because we were really craving a place for people of color. Queer folks to come together to have a safe space to create artwork together. That was really removed from the competitive nature that is often in art spaces, as we know, like art within capitalism and within the society, it builds this structure of you're competing for grants or for residencies. The people that we want to serve and the people that we build with are other artists, queer people of color artists to really create a space where we can build and share resources and skills to create work together rather than to be competing. So that's something that we emphasize in our work. I think the Bay Area holds a special place as a place where a lot of revolution has happened, a lot of community building has happened in the Bay Area for people of color, for marginalized communities. I think that is a legacy we hope to carry as we continue to do this collective work. [00:38:16] Miko Lee: That's so great. Can you talk a little bit more about how you came to be, how your collective came into fruition? [00:38:23] Robin Birdd David: Yeah, that's a good question. Jeffrey and I attended San Francisco State together and we met in a cybernetics new media art class. We were craving a space that wasn't so white focus and wasn't so white wall focus. My background is in painting and Jeff was in the program for new media. We felt that there was this divide of either like the fine arts world, which was a very like white wall space. Then there was the art and technology spaces, which also felt white. There was just a specific type of artists and community that came along with both those spaces and us being people of color, Asian, and growing up in the Bay area. I felt like I didn't necessarily belong in those spaces at the time. We decided why don't we do our own thing? So we started doing these one day events, art experiences parties where we would do like installations and have like DJs and performers and chefs come and we would do this whole experience where like different senses were activated. That's how we started and it just formed naturally. [00:39:35] Miko Lee: So it started out Robin, you, and Jeffrey, and then you've grown to add more people? [00:39:40] Robin Birdd David: Yes, we started in the ideating phases, and then we brought in other folks, like Dominic, to come help and create these one day experiences. Then from there, the folks who were collaborating with us, we naturally formed into a collective. [00:39:56] Miko Lee: Does each artist play a specific role? How do you interact with each other? [00:40:01] Dominic Cheng: I think one of the things that we've felt really special about being in a collective is that we bring different strengths, but it doesn't necessarily dictate like what we can and cannot do in the collective. There's a lot of responsibilities with a lot of the organization, a lot of the finances, but then there's also the responsibility of developing concepts and like refining what approach we want to take towards making installation or an experience. I think organically we have developed concepts for our projects collectively. Some folks tend to take lead on some ideas and others follow and provide support, which is always I think something that has been really uplifting for us is to not really. Think about it from like an individualized perspective where one singular artist needs to do every single thing on their own. That really opened up a lot of opportunities for us as creatives and artists to think beyond what we individually can create and really honing in on the resources and the creative like experiences and techniques that other folks bring to the table. [00:41:14] Miko Lee: So macro waves focuses around future ancestry intergenerational experiences and collective healing. How does this relate to the Under the same sun, reimagining collective liberation from the edges of Chinatown, which is the theme of this year's second annual festival. [00:41:33] Dominic Cheng: We have been a collective since 2015. A lot of the work that we have been doing has been centered around storytelling and exploring our ancestry through a lot of experiences that we've encountered between us and our parents or us and our grandparents or others. Us and folks that are probably not an ancestor quite just yet. We have always been fascinated in utilizing that area as like a point of adventure as a place for us to explore ideas outside of conventional storytelling. We have been creating works specifically looking at how trauma has been passed along through cultures of just brushing things under the rug, or how those types of experiences can really build up a like a hard shell for folks to really break through and to heal. We've also been doing work that has been exploring some of the experiences that we all share like today especially through the pandemic [00:42:38] Miko Lee: How does the theme of Under the Same Sun make you feel and what does it inspire in you all as a collective? [00:42:46] Robin Birdd David: So MacroWave's coming together in the first place. Is really reimagining art practice like collective work. In this case collective care, which is what our project focuses on. We're really interested in including other communities in our work. We did a project called alternate realm in SF Chinatown, where we interviewed shop owners during the pandemic when a lot of the restaurants and businesses were closed down and we're only doing takeout. And so we saw an area where we could. Utilize our work to help small businesses out. And so we interviewed these small these business owners about their experiences around alters and specifically Qingming And we asked them how did their rest or their business restaurant shop start and what are your alters that you have at home. Through these interviews, we collaborate with other artists outside of the collective to create augmented reality alters that became a walking tour that communities can experience through their cell phones or iPads. And so really just like bringing. outside communities that are not necessarily in the art scene to experience what other people are doing in the community and how do we bridge the gap between different generations of people and continue this legacy of storytelling and to learn more about in this particular project, more about like our Asian community and the diaspora and how they were able to start a business in the first place. [00:44:27] Miko Lee: I really appreciated those short videos about Qingming and just getting to hear from a shopkeeper's perspective about what the things they're burning for their ancestors. I think about that a lot when I'm doing Qingming with my family. So I appreciate that there's this video that's there on the internet will just last, but then you had this temporary piece with where you would go and scan a QR code. Is that right? [00:44:53] Dominic Cheng: Yeah, part of this. That project really involved us really capturing the stories of these local businesses who are not just only struggling financially and economically to survive, but they were also like experiencing heightened like violence in their communities and xenophobia. And this was like during a time where we felt that. It was important for us to open up this project as a platform for other creatives, other artists who identify as Asians to create a digital offering, like a digital art altar offering to each business in response to the stories that they were hearing [00:45:33] Miko Lee: Jeffrey, can you talk about the piece that you're going to be showing at the exhibit coming up for under the same sun? [00:45:43] Jeffrey Yip: Yeah it's a huge project and we've been conceptualizing for about two years now. It's Actually a culmination of the work that we have been doing. In 2000, I think 17 or 16, we started creating like healing spaces. One of which was like Protectural Voyager, which showed at SoMa Arts. It was this geodesic dome and there was like healing feedback sensors attached to it. There was like one that could read your brain. A brain wave reader and what was a heart wave reader. We're inviting folks to meditate inside this dome and when they we're at a calmer state, then the visuals will be more meditative and encourage meditation. We've created a number of these kind of like healing spaces and exhibitions. Collective futures is the one that we're going to be showing at this festival this year. Idea is around community care, collective care and also questioning the idea of self care and self care is important and we all need self care and sometimes that can get caught up in Western individualism and I think it is important to have that delineation and emphasize the the collective care because because you can't do everything by ourselves. We need community. We need family members. We need people to show up for each other. [00:46:59] Robin Birdd David: Our piece is called collective futures. Our installation is a critique about self care and coming out of shelter in place. We were encouraged to take care of ourselves, but also as a means to be productive and to get back out there and to work. it's like what Jeff mentioned is really important, but there needs to be a shift to like community care like how do we take care of ourselves. If institutions aren't are not working if certain systems are not working, how can the community show up for each other and I think that. Under the Same Sun is an example of this collective experience of coming together to reimagine new ways of experiencing art and really integrating and bringing together different communities outside of Chinatown, into Chinatown bringing other migrant, people of color communities who all have similar ways of showing up and caring for each other rather than being segregated Into like different communities by ethnic groups, but like, how do we come together? [00:48:04] Miko Lee: Jeff. If I walk into Edge on the Square, what do I see? [00:48:10] Jeffrey Yip: If you walked into Edge on the Square, you would see a mound full of moss. We're inviting people to come and sit down on and in the middle of that mound, there's going to be like a bowl of water that will be vibrating and the whole platform is actually vibrant. So we're inviting participants to come on and feel these vibrations that are being produced by the sound artists that we're inviting to, to provide sound. On these platforms, there are transducers that essentially work like speakers, but instead of pushing air out of the cone, they vibrate . And so basically that's essentially what this project's about. We'll be like having a platform building a platform that will be vibrating. So there'll be like a, like a sound installation that will vibrate the same frequencies into the platform. And so there's this idea called a vibroacoustic therapy. And it's the idea that like. under certain vibrations that can be a healing thing, right? And so we're inviting folks to come on this platform and all vibrate on the same wavelength and essentially just have the intention to heal. And I think a lot of times with these healing spaces, we're not like, Oh yeah, these spaces are going to heal you. It's more it's more so like we're inviting to people with to come in with the intention to heal because I don't identify as a healer, but I feel like we all can do the work to heal ourselves. [00:49:31] Miko Lee: Where is your piece going to How can people find it? [00:49:36] Robin Birdd David: Collective Futures installation can be found in the Edge on the Square gallery space. It is part of the gallery exhibition that will be up, till next year, June. And the location is 800 Grant Avenue in San Francisco, Chinatown. The nature of the installation is really about collaboration. We're inviting other collaborators to come in to either create sound performances where the sound performance connects to the vibration. On this installation can feel can physically feel the music being played at the same time. We also are inviting other healing practitioners, we're hoping to invite a Tai Chi instructor to host a class, maybe with different, with elders, with different community members in Chinatown to be able to utilize the platform in different ways. [00:50:35] Dominic Cheng: We wanted to create a platform as a means of opening up dialogue about other community engagement opportunities. Some of the folks that we have been interested in is cone shaped top, which is arts and culture space based in Oakland that has been doing a lot of work opening up space for a new emerging sound artists to have a space to perform and just to share music and be in community with each other. [00:51:01] Robin Birdd David: Cone Shaped Top will be collaborating with us for the opening of Under the Same Sun Festival on September 30th. They will be hosting a series of other sound and performance based artists that will perform live for the festival. So we're really excited about that and to really kick off this installation where throughout the year, the rest of the year and next year, we'll be able to collaborate with other community folks. [00:51:28] Miko Lee: That is very exciting. Jeffrey Yip, what do you want audiences to feel? [00:51:35] Jeffrey Yip: Everybody's gonna have a different experience, right? I personally want to start with telling somebody how they should experience the work, like I really do feel like everybody's going to come in with a unique perspective. The way that they'll experience it will be new to themselves because for me part of the art right is the experience within the individual, and that's what they're bringing to the table. It's a almost a collaboration with the participants as well because they bring their unique experience to it and you know maybe they'll share some share the experience with somebody else and there might be similarities but they'll have a unique experience. Ultimately I would say a sense of togetherness and community. That would be ideal. [00:52:19] Miko Lee: What about you, Robin and Dominic, what do you want the audience to feel when they leave your exhibition? [00:52:28] Robin Birdd David: The concept behind collective futures really comes from that feeling that we had in the pandemic where we were actually able to take a break. The concept of self care, even though it existed already, was there was a hyper focus on self care, and whatever the care is that people needed, it was obvious that we all needed a break and we needed space from capitalism from the day to day work and hustle and bustle, and so this installation really is a nod to that. It's wait a minute, how we take a step back and think about like how do we show collective care? How do we show up for each other? How do we care for ourselves? In a way that I don't know if we really got to the We never really got to the root of the problem since we came back from COVID, even though COVID still exists. We never really figured that part out. Like here we are still continuing to hustle and continue the work which is all important. I'm hoping that people who experience our installation will be reminded of I need to rest and it's okay to take a break. It's okay to pause and it's okay to just lay here and be still and be okay with where they are in their lives, where we are in our lives. [00:53:47] Dominic Cheng: Building on to that, I really do think that one of the hopes that I have is for folks to come to this leaving with just more interest in exploring collective care. It's important to not just only continue to do the work of living day to day and trying to survive, but really to take those moments of rest and really to seek out opportunities to provide community collective care. It has to be a constant and it can't just be, like, a one time thing. That's what we're really hoping for folks to do is to really be moved by the collective experience that they share with. Either folks that they bring together with them to the space and to the installation or for folks that they meet and connect with organically just throughout their visit. [00:54:37] Miko Lee: What are you looking forward to at this whole event that's happening? Will all of you stay with your piece or will you get to wander around and experience the other events that are happening? [00:54:49] Robin Birdd David: That's a good question. I'm hoping we'll be able to experience the events. That's also my birthday. So I'm hoping to be able to celebrate, see folks I haven't seen in a long time in the community, and to learn about other artists work and to be able To also explore Chinatown as the way that the festival is, was designed to be able to support small businesses. And then also to be able to collaborate with Cone Shaped Top is such an honor and something that we've wanted to do for so long. [00:55:19] Dominic Cheng: I'm excited to just support other artists who are activating like different parts of the festival. I had attended last year's festival the inaugural festival and was really amazed and really moved by the ways in which folks were taking up taking up space in like public areas through art and were sharing different stories in different parts of the entire Chinatown neighborhood. That was really exciting for me to experience the first time and I'm hoping to experience that and something new this time around. [00:56:01] Miko Lee: What about you, Jeffrey? What are you looking forward to? [00:56:07] Jeffrey Yip: I echo everything they both said. I think being a spectator and experiencing What these other creatives are showcasing. I know Kim Ip is going to do a performance. I'm excited about that. TNT Tricycle is going to be there. Maybe I'll sing a song I know there is going to be a lot of great stuff. There's going to be the canto pop. I'm excited for that as well. So maybe dance a little bit in the street. , I think that would be nice. it'll be really good for me and Jeff to brush up on our Cantonese through dancing to canto pop DJ music. [00:56:43] Miko Lee: Okay, and we will just look forward to seeing you all dancing in the procession, which is going to be lion dance and then Duniya dance all the way around the block. So you can do a little Bollywood, a little lion dance. Thank you so much Macro Waves Collective for joining me on Apex Express. I hope people can get out in the streets and see this amazing artwork going down the end of the month, September 30th. Thank you all for joining me. [00:57:08] Robin Birdd David: Thank you so much for having us. [00:57:10] Dominic Cheng: Thank you so much Miko. [00:57:14] Miko Lee: Thank you so much for joining us. Please check out our website, kpfa.org backslash program, backslash apex express to find out more about the show tonight and to find out how you can take direct action. We thank all of you listeners out there. Keep resisting, keep organizing, keep creating and sharing your visions with the world. Your voices are important. [00:57:39] Miko Lee: Apex express is a proud member of the AACRE network. Asian-Americans for civil rights and equality. Find out more at aacre.org. Apex express is produced by me. Miko Lee. Along with Paige Chung, Jalena Keane-Lee, Preeti Mangala Shekar, Anuj Vaida. Kiki Rivera, Swati Rayasam, Nate Tan, Hieu Nguyen and Cheryl Truong tonight's show is produced by me Miko thank you so much to the team at kpfa for their support have a great Night. The post APEX Express – 9.7.23 – Under the Same Sun appeared first on KPFA.

The Bay Area may not have an official sandwich, but “our local sandwiches have an unparalleled layering of textures that can't be found anywhere else,” writes Rocky Rivera in a recent essay for KQED. People here love deli meat on Dutch crunch bread or sourdough and don't skip the avocados! Italian delis such as Little Luca in South San Francisco and Molinari in North Beach have cult followings. Customers line up around the block for Bakesale Betty's fried chicken sandwich. So, what does it take to elevate a sandwich from just tasty to satisfyingly iconic? For our next installment of All You Can Eat, our regular series about Bay Area food cultures with KQED's Luke Tsai, we bite into our favorite local sandos and why we love them. Guests: Saint Boney, owner and chef, The Saint Sandwich Shop Cesar Hernandez, associate restaurant critic, San Francisco Chronicle Albert Ok, owner, Ok's Deli in Oakland Rocky Rivera, emcee and writer, part of KQED's "Frisco Foodies" series Luke Tsai, food editor, KQED Arts & Culture

Rocky Rivera is a rapper, journalist, and activist from San Francisco. After her family immigrated from the Philippines, she became immersed in hip-hop culture and grassroots community education. This led Rocky to San Francisco State University where she studied journalism and landed an editor position at Ruckus Magazine, which was a Bay Area media staple during the Hyphy Movement. After auditioning for an MTV reality show, she was given the opportunity to try out for a contributing editor position at Rolling Stone Magazine, which she won. Rocky has also written for outlets like The Source and Mass Appeal, but she challenged the mainstream, male-dominated spaces she found herself in. As a rapper, she expresses her unique voice on the mic and developed an avid fan base that supports her via Patreon. Rocky is a member of the Beatrock Music collective along with her partner Bambu, and she also shares relationship advice for creative couples. She has recently released her first book "Snakeskin" and is currently working on new music. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/historyofthebay/support

So what is motherhood beside someone telling you they had a premonition in a dream that you shouldn't go out dancing this weekend and you consider not going because it sounds like- really serious. This week the Local Fruit chat to you about motherhood. We share the wax and wane of our relationships to our mothers, what makes us feel nurtured, and what gifts we hope to extend to our mothers within their lifetime. We leave you with the poem Amor eterno by Yesika Salgado. appetizerz: Latinxparenting 4 x Beyonce Sheena is a Punk Rocker x The Ramones the feast: noodz PCOS body liberation #blackmaternalhealth & #maternalmentalhealth are very active tags on different social media platforms. England Smith / @the_england_smith @bassonthefloor + @ayy.punk on Instagram Ongoing Playlist after party: Kehlani wants to get you pregnant Brown Babies x Rocky Rivera vasos vacios x Los Fabulosos Cadillacs Someday I'll Love Ocean Vuong --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/local-fruit/message

After winning an MTV reality TV show contest about a dozen years ago, Rocky Rivera landed a gig at Rolling Stone. That was a crowning moment in her career as a journalist. Since then, Rocky Rivera's enjoyed a successful musical career and expanded her world as an educator in Oakland public schools. Most recently she published an autobiographical collection of essays, Snakeskin, which takes a look back at her storied career and personal life. Rocky Rivera, who was raised in San Francisco, uses the book to express the importance of restorative justice practices. Addressing conflict without using punitive models is something that works in the classroom and the community, as well as in art.

IT’S HERE! The live show recording where Yvette interviewed Kala and Vane about intersectional feminism, matriarchy, and unlearning white supremacist beauty standards to love themselves as women of color. They analyzed “Pussy Kills” and “Brown Babies” by rapper Rocky Rivera and discussed the importance of the reproductive justice framework, how radical and revolutionary it is for women of color to birth babies, and how to balance recognizing that pussy kills and that genitalia does not define womanhood. You can support Radio Cachimbona here: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/radiocachimbona?fan_landing=true Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radio.cachimbona/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/RadioCachimbona Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/radiocachimbona/ Website: https://www.radiocachimbona.com/

Patreon drove the ship towards an album review of Circa91 by Ruby Ibarra. This is The "Classic" Quest Podcast episode 96, where we break down albums track by track and see why people love them. Holden Stephan Roy (HSR) and Your Lady Friend Bonnie are here with our ideas and look forward to yours in the comments below. 04:35 General chit chat about Ruby Ibarra09:10 Brown Out18:34 Here24:35 Someday33:58 The Other Side, Welcome (Ft. Ann One)42:50 Roll Call (Interlude)49:20 Taking Names (Ft. Nump Trump, Bambu)58:08 Playbill$01:02:38 Curtain Call01:06:34 Voices I (Interlude)01:09:19 Skies01:15:36 Background (Ft. Ann One)01:21:30 Broken Mirrors01:28:51 Descent (Interlude)01:33:44 Us (Ft. Rocky Rivera, Klassy, Faith Santilla)01:39:23 The Realness01:42:49 Voices II (Interlude)01:46:27 7000 MilesBonus Track: Yah - Circa91 album review grade reveal Check out Ruby Ibarra - Circa91 on Spotify and do your own review:https://open.spotify.com/album/5L6ETkYF4PeD1pSrAGKuNf?si=kntKeecZSn-0ac2WcRq1Pw Join the request pool on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/BehindThatSuit Check out HSR's music:https://open.spotify.com/artist/2ZtYJhikrhYuf0xhL4wqTn?si=JVEtxjpXTsiMBjR_Lg0Fjghttps://hsr514.bandcamp.com/ Join the Behind That Suit Discord Server:https://discord.gg/nzn6xqu Comment below and feel free to keep in touch: FB: https://www.facebook.com/behindthatsuit/@BehindThatSuit HSR:FB: https://www.facebook.com/HSR514/Twitter/IG: @HSR514Musical Endeavours:https://youtube.com/hsrisnothiphophttps://youtube.com/hsr514 Your Lady Friend Bonnie:Twitter: @ylfbonnie #BehindThatSuitReviews #RubyIbarra #Circa91 

Memoirist-in-progress, fellow booknerd and grad student Anjelica Moresca Enaje joins us once again for a special episode on Filipinx literacy. We take a deeper dive into the Maria Clara archetype from Jose Rizal's famous novel Noli Me Tángere, Anjelica's vision with getLITfilam - a survey of (literary) works by and about people of Filipino-descent, and how it's an honor to be in a position today to write our own history. For her past interview, check out episode 008: "Choose to live." It's Filipino American History Month and this month's theme is... Pinay Visionaries: Celebrating Filipina American Women! Learn more at http://fanhs-national.org/filam/about/ (http://fanhs-national.org/filam/about/) Give a shout out to the Pinay Visionary if your life! Reach out to us with any of the options below! In celebration of Filipino American History Month, we feature Rocky Rivera as this episode's Pinay Visionary! Learn more about Rocky at https://rockyrivera.bigcartel.com/ (rockyrivera.com) or follow her on Instagram @rockyrivera. Special thanks again to @au_ptimist from Instagram for the recommendation! To request any books or resources mentioned on the show, connect with Angelica at Twitter: @i_amenaje (personal), @getlitfilam / IG: @pinaykilljoy (personal), @getlitfilam / blog: amenaje.wordpress.com / official {getLITfilam} website will launch in mid-October 2019! (Follow @getlitfilam social media for updates) -- Receive the latest stories and life lessons from our community by subscribing to our newsletter: http://bit.ly/tfawproject-newsletter%C2%A0 (http://bit.ly/tfawproject-newsletter ) This show wouldn't be possible without our sponsors. Learn more about our active sponsors at https://linktr.ee/tfawproject.sponsors (https://linktr.ee/tfawproject.sponsors) Co-hosted by Jen Amos & Nani Dominguez. Connect with them on Instagram @thejenamos @notesbynani Engage with us on Instagram @thefilipinoamericanwoman

We sit down with the Brown Skin Lady w/ the Brown Skin Baby, Rocky Rivera, to chop it up about Rocky's Revenge and more. Peep her latest video "Best Shot" directed by @been.milky: https://youtu.be/7h3_mkorQV4 Tap in with all things Rocky Rivera: https://rockyrivera.bigcartel.com Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/rockys-revenge/1437848066 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2GYpVuQKY90oIhLSA07G18 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj5rJs2d8gXoeS8gw6H_5kw

In der aktuellen Folge sprechen wir über Musik und das Auflegen. Es geht um kulturelle Aneignung, wann wir Songs spielen und wann nicht und Erfahrungen beim Auflegen. Außerdem sprechen wir über unsere Social Media Präsenz und könnten Eure Tipps zur Förderung unseres Podcasts gebrauchen! Infovideos zum Entstehen von House, Hip- Hop und Techno - Detroit Techno- The Creation of Techno Music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6O__kB8Nc8 - Frankie Knuckles – The Origins of House https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7JHqtMuuAI - Grandmaster Flash Talks "The Theory" Of Being A HipHop DJ & The Beginnings Of Hip-Hop!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3YXyK-gWvc - Hip Hop Evolution auf Netflix - Pose auf Netflix Erwähnte Artists: - Kid Cudi - The Temper Trap - Ruby Ibarra, Bambu, Rocky Rivera, Klassy: Beatrock Music https://beatrockmusic.com/ - Han Han https://www.hanhanmusic.com/ Auflegen Workshop am 25.05.2019 ab 10:00 Uhr. Café Kurzschlusz an der FH Frankfurt. Der Workshop vermittelt Grundtechniken des Musikmischens, reflektiert kritisch die eigene Rolle als auflegende Person und führt in das Equipment ein. Anmeldung per Mail an kleinkultur@asta-fra-uas.de Xinas Spotify Playlist zur Folge: https://open.spotify.com/user/phnqt0mtwwmx3p0z41h1lbs9o/playlist/2iKeZj52pYypqGRoYBKYWB?si=H-Msmw5MQdSgWBG4B9sogg Cusos Spotify Playlist zur Folge: https://open.spotify.com/user/1tkvvnffwx8i4wpqy3yz6lvrb/playlist/58R5SWmFGNcrAaPzijdX2Y?si=ZOjBQ7fSRvKfp1wdLuYZsA

MOOSE is a multifaceted man from Las Vegas, NV. As an artist, he has released 3 albums and several EPs to date, with YOUNIVERSE as the latest release. As a songwriter and music producer, his credits range from international acts such as Ruby Ibarra, J.R. Aquino, Rocky Rivera, and Jeff Bernat to budding Sin City talents such as Zelly Vibes, POWMINDSET, Luna, and Trade Voorhees to name a few. As a DJ, he's a sought-after staple at many events in town, holding several residencies and serving as music director for countless events. He is also the host of the Courtside Nosebleeds podcast. Visit MOOSE online at: https://www.instagram.com/moosethecoolest/ http://smarturl.it/mooseyouniverse https://www.instagram.com/courtsidenosebleeds/

MOOSE is a multifaceted man from Las Vegas, NV. As an artist, he has released 3 albums and several EPs to date, with YOUNIVERSE as the latest release. As a songwriter and music producer, his credits range from international acts such as Ruby Ibarra, J.R. Aquino, Rocky Rivera, and Jeff Bernat to budding Sin City talents such as Zelly Vibes, POWMINDSET, Luna, and Trade Voorhees to name a few. As a DJ, he's a sought-after staple at many events in town, holding several residencies and serving as music director for countless events. He is also the host of the Courtside Nosebleeds podcast. Visit MOOSE online at: https://www.instagram.com/moosethecoolest/ http://smarturl.it/mooseyouniverse https://www.instagram.com/courtsidenosebleeds/

First episode of the New Year! Anju and Lachrista talk about med changes: increasing, decreasing, and going off of them cold-turkey (not advised!). There's also a small tangent about how awful R. Kelly is. Follow us on Twitter: @dameswithdemons *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way."

What better way to ring in the New Year than this spicy episode on feminism, where we take shots at feminist movements of the past, men (of course) and some of the left. Special guest @socializm_ brings the fire. Ya'll are guaranteed to either love it, or hate it.  If you haven't already, you can help the show improve over at www.patreon.com/prolespod and in return can get sweet pins, access to our spicy discord, exclusive episodes, pick your own, guest appearances! All kinds of great stuff. Please subscribe on your favorite podcast apps and rate or review to help extend our reach. Like and rate our facebook page at facebook.com/prolespod  and follow us on Twitter @prolespod. If you have any questions or comments, DM us on either of those platforms or email us at prolespod@gmail.com All episodes prior to episode 4 can be found on YouTube, so go check that out as well!  Suggested Reading: "Caliban and the Witch" by Sylvia Federici "Undemocratic Legacies: First Wave Feminism and the Somocista Women's Movement in Nicaragua" by V. Gonzalez-Rivera "Is Capitalism Gendered and Racialized" by Joan Acker "The Dialectics of Sex" by Shulamith Firestone ("The Dialectics of Sex" was utilized to cover the history of the first wave feminism in the United States. For that reason we recommend the book merely for the first chapter. However, the author offers iffy analysis against Marx and misquotes Engels that makes their overall argument faulty. This work has been critiqued by Ghandy (CC member of the CPI) in her works, “Philosophical trends in the modern feminist movement.” Still recommend that chapter spoken about but keep that in mind when you read the works in its entirety)    Outro Music: "Rocky's Revenge" by Rocky Rivera

Redneck Revolt was founded in 2016 as an anti-racist, anti-fascist community defense formation.  Mathias and Pooja from Redneck Revolt / John Brown Gun Club join Breht and Dr. Bones (from The Conjure House, Gods and Radicals, and The Guillotine) to discuss counter-recruitment, leftist gun culture, building feminism into the fabric of an organization, arming and training marginalized people, and much more!  Find, learn more about, and support Redneck Revolt here: https://www.redneckrevolt.org In-Show Music includes: "Us" by Ruby Ibarra featuring: Rocky Rivera, Klassy, and Faith Santilla https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUfNeCozJBw "Save the Day" by Atmosphere Find and support them here: https://rhymesayers.com/artists/atmosphere Outro Song: "On Ballots and Barricades" by Ramshackle Glory. Find and support them here: https://ramshackleglory.bandcamp.com

Redneck Revolt was founded in 2016 as an anti-racist, anti-fascist community defense formation.  Mathias and Pooja from Redneck Revolt / John Brown Gun Club join Breht and Dr. Bones (from The Conjure House, Gods and Radicals, and The Guillotine) to discuss counter-recruitment, leftist gun culture, building feminism into the fabric of an organization, arming and training marginalized people, and much more!  Find, learn more about, and support Redneck Revolt here: https://www.redneckrevolt.org In-Show Music includes: "Us" by Ruby Ibarra featuring: Rocky Rivera, Klassy, and Faith Santilla https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUfNeCozJBw "Save the Day" by Atmosphere Find and support them here: https://rhymesayers.com/artists/atmosphere Outro Song: "On Ballots and Barricades" by Ramshackle Glory. Find and support them here: https://ramshackleglory.bandcamp.com ------------- NEW LOGO from BARB, a communist graphic design collective! You can find them on twitter or insta @Barbaradical. Please reach out to them if you are in need of any graphic design work for your leftist projects!  Intro music by Captain Planet. You can find and support his wonderful music here:  https://djcaptainplanet.bandcamp.com Make a one time donation to our PayPal at: PayPal.me/RevLeft Please Rate and Review our show on iTunes or whatever podcast app you use. This dramatically helps increase our reach. Support the Show and get access to bonus content on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/RevLeftRadio This podcast is officially affiliated with The Nebraska Left Coalition, the Nebraska IWW, Socialist Rifle Association (SRA), Feed The People - Omaha, and the Marxist Center. Join the SRA here: https://www.socialistra.org/ Our official spin-off podcasts are Black Banner Magic and Hammer & Camera. Find them on twitter, Patreon, Libsyn, and anywhere else where quality podcasts are hosted!  

In this episode, Anju and Lachrista check in with each other, discuss the book "First, We Make The Beast Beautiful" by Sarah Wilson, and more. Last episode of 2018! Follow us on Twitter: @dameswithdemons *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way."

Tonight, we have a great panel discussion of amazing Bay Area women in hip-hop including Rocky Rivera, Chhoti Maa, and Versoul (formerly known as Babii Cris). Get this: Less than 5% of the people creating the sounds, music and media in the daily soundtrack of our lives are women and moreover they are not getting too many plays on platforms like soundsloud aswell. There are ways to get more plays and one can find more information by following this link. For 15 years, Women Audio Mission has been working to close the gender gap in creative technology careers. In addition to preparing women and girls to go behind the board of a professional recording studio, the organization also provides studio time, and a recording package so that women musicians can have a professionally recorded album. In March this year, they held their quarterly Local Sirens concert series featuring local women musicians and performers. The performance was preceded by this allstar lineup of Bay Area women in hip hop. Rocky Rivera, Chhoti Maa, and Versoul (formerly known as Babii Cris). They cover integrating their activism and love for their community into their lyrics, surviving as musicians, and being women in a mostly male industry. Moderating the panel is Founder and Executive Director of Women Audio Mission, Terri Winston. Community Calendar In just over a week, Solidarity to Solutions Week of Climate Actions arrives. Asian Pacific Environmental Network and their allies from the It Takes Roots delegation will be linking up with communities on the front lines of fighting climate change around the world to show what real community-led solutions to climate change really look like. Join APEN for local solutions tours, solution-based strategy exchanges, and a democratic popular assembly. Also, join the Asian Contingent at the march!  The post APEX Express – Women in Hip Hop appeared first on KPFA.

Anju and Lachrista discuss what NOT to say to an anxious person as well as what you SHOULD say! Tell us in the comments what you've been told! Follow us on Twitter: @dameswithdemons *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way."

Tonight's episode of APEX Express features music curated by Zuha Khan (DJ Baqvas) on the continuation of a theme from the last time she was on APEX. That theme is: Defiantly Yours: Radical Music from the Asian Diaspora in the Era of Trump. Tonight's setlist reflects coming together and standing up for what's right, recognizing our own struggles, and our pasts through migration and movements to do what we can to survive in a country that is employing more and more fascist practices. To hear the full show with music, follow this link. Track List: Immigrants (We Get The Job Done) by K'naan, Snow Tha Product, Riz MC, Residente on The Hamilton Mixtape (Atlantic Records) Fired Up ft. Raaginder by SETI X (Self Released Single) Us (Prod. By Nphared) by Ruby Ibarra Feat. Rocky Rivera, Klassy, & Faith Santilla on CIRCA91 (Beatrock Music) Hella San Francisco (Equipto & Maitre'D) by The Watershed on Equipto & Brycon Present The Watershed (IHAA Records) Sound The People ft. Heems by Red Baraat on Sound The People (Rhyme & Reason) No More War by Soom T & Jean-Paul Dub on Dubs for Syria (Vaticaen Production) War Empire by Kohinoorgasm on Synthwali and the War Empire EP (Self Released) Find Safety by LAL on Find Safety (Self Released) in between things by Wisechild (Self Released Single) Migrations by Diaspoura on Demonstrations (Self Released) War by Sahab on Safa City (Self Released) [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUfNeCozJBw] Zuha Khan, also known as DJ Baqvas, is a proud local of the East Bay. Zuha is a member of the Alliance of South Asians Taking Action and helps out with its projects like Bay Area Solidarity Summer — a political action camp for South Asian youth. She is a DJ at San Francisco's BFF.fm. Zuha enjoys politicizing radio DJ-ing through music by finding tracks produced by subversive artists from right here at home to countries most wouldn't think to look to. You can follow her on Twitter @Zuha_Wave. The post APEX Express – Defiantly Yours appeared first on KPFA.

Anju and Lachrista are finally back from their hiatus! Listen as they talk about how the fuck you're supposed to trust your intuition when you have an anxiety disorder (or any mental illness). Follow us on Twitter: @dameswithdemons *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way."

Buy these bands records. Go see them live. Give them your hard earned money. Start a band. Contribute to your scene or start your own. Life sucks if you aren't doing something you love. Find the thing, pour your life into it, repeat.   Tarantula - Hunting At The Zoo   Pleasure - Landscape of Power   Gutter - Zero Rest   Vile Gash - Repulsed At The Sight   Cadaver Dog - Watch Your Back   The Flex - Soma Holiday   Petite - Spent Force   Perverts Again - Blockbusted     DonMonique - 30 Block   Ruby Ibarra - Us(ft. Rocky Rivera, Klassy & Faith Santilla)   Vel The Wonder - Savage   Gavlyn - Calling   Maxo Kream - Roaches     Vaaska - Policia Policia   As Mercenarias - Policia   The Cops - Police Brutality   Necros - Police Brutality   Negative Element - Police Beat(On Me)   The Spits - Police   Nuke Cult - Cop Caller   Capital Punishment - Killer Cop   Missionary - Cop Disease     GRB - Tiempo Para Amar   Killing Children - Boring   NDT - Schwarzer Vogel   Stretch Marks - Who's In Charge?   Stains - Sick & Crazy   Slam - 1945   The Dictators - Teengenerate   Jim Sleez & Teenage Titz     Bugg - Bleached/Wishing Well    

In this episode, Anju and Lachrista talk about consent, celebrities, pop culture, and anxiety. Follow us on Twitter: @dameswithdemons *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way."

In this episode, Anju and Lachrista discuss their anxiety around holidays, specifically Christmas and New Year's. Follow us on Twitter: @dameswithdemons *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way."

Anju and Lachrista talk about the physical manifestations of anxiety (and that dreaded "floaty" feeling). Follow us on Twitter: @dameswithdemons *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way."

Anju and Lachrista talk about dating while mentally ill (and how partners of those of us with mental illness can be supportive!) Follow us on Twitter: @dameswithdemons *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way."

Back from a short hiatus, Anju and Lachrista talk about their back-to-school anxiety. Follow us on Twitter: @dameswithdemons *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way."

In D&D's first minisode, Lachrista talks about her experience with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. Follow us on Twitter: @dameswithdemons *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way."

Listen as Anju and Lachrista have discuss how well (and how poorly) anxiety and sleep go together. Follow us on Twitter: @dameswithdemons *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way."

Listen as Anju and Lachrista have a fairly unstructured conversation about anxiety and self-care. Follow us on Twitter: @dameswithdemons *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way."

After a short hiatus (because Lachrista's laptop decided to die), we're back! On this episode, Anju and Lachrista are in the same room! This week, we discuss mental health stigmas in a few different life areas. The first: how stigma is different as a teenager vs as an adult; second: how stigma is different at school vs work; and finally: how stigma interacts (or doesn't) in interpersonal relationships. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dameswithdemons/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/dameswithdemons *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way"

What if it's more anxiety-producing to be in the present moment sometimes? On our second episode, we discuss how problematic much of the yoga/meditation community can be with regards to distraction (believing distraction is inherently "bad"). Follow us on Facebook and Twitter (@DamesWithDemons)! *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way"

On our first episode, we introduce ourselves, our mental illnesses, how anxiety shows up in our bodies/minds, and why we're doing this podcast. We end with telling you what our first topic will be on! *Intro and outro music provided with permission by Rocky Rivera and A. Yang from their song, "Ain't No Way." Follow us on Facebook and Twitter (@DamesWithDemons)!

#SpecialDelivery for Oct. 28, 2014 1. @casey-veggies - 3AM in Cape Town 2. Nate- Do I (itunes.apple.com/us/album/common-…tion/id929873488) 3. Run The Jewels ft. Despot & Wiki- Blockbuster Night, Pt. 2(https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/run-the-jewels-2/id927052864) 4. TASK1ne (@1nation916) - Goosebumps 5. Theophilus London (@theophilusl) ft Kanye West - Can't Stop 6. @rocky-rivera-1 - Pussy Kills 7. @AudibleDoctor - The Burial Plot www.SpecialSays.com Throwback interviews: Special w/ Nate @ Hiero Day: http://youtu.be/FMVsMIOjuoQ Special w/ Rocky Rivera: http://youtu.be/GFNxglsdcgc Special w/ TASK1ne: http://youtu.be/wkwkh8TGUUU & http://youtu.be/eb_IirgTfeI Special w/ Audible Doctor: http://youtu.be/UFtjofHoTTg

Guest Singer for The Little Bits at Sunday Streets Following up on last week's epic recap of 2011, this week we feature the MUSIC of 2011 including songs by Makana, Ras Ceylon, Hopie Spitshard, Rocky Rivera, Kiwi, Blue Scholars, Goh Nakamura, The Invisible Cities, The Little Bits, Senbei, and a rousing music video by Magnetic North and Taiyo Na featuring Jin (see below). We also honor the passing of activist and fellow radio producer, Yvette Hochberg, with a poem by Genny Lim. Hosted by Robynn.   The post APEX Express – January 12, 2012 appeared first on KPFA.