Citizen Kane VS

It's the Holidays! Eat sugar, drink booze, be merry, and get in awkward conflicts of ideals with loved ones! We've got two just..... terrible movies lined up for you. Enjoy!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

Gangsters! Tommy Guns! Drugs! Sex! Accents! We've got it all this week so don't listen to any other podcast . . . we'll know.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

Sex! Now that I've got your attention, here's our episode about these two movies named after flying things that kill. Spoopvember never dies!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

It's Spooptober once again and we pit two movies best known for their spoopy houses and their present participle verb tense titles. Happy Season 5 everybody!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

American presidents are in danger!!!!! Harrison Ford and Aaron Eckhart prove why aMeRiCa Is ThE bEsT and why the rest of the world can SUCK IT! The freedom train is coming for one and all folks, deal with it. This podcast description brought to you by Raytheon Weapons Technologies: Need to Break Up a Wedding? Buy Raytheon!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

Two noble warrior classes face off in our silly movie podcast. Kurasawa vs some guy who maybe has made more movies since this one but honestly I don't care to look it up right now. You can google it. ThE oUtCoMe WiLl ShOcK yOu!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

Halle Berry week is upon us at last! What feline ferocity does she bring to these Oscar and Razzie worthy performances? Honestly, she's enjoyable in pretty much anything, even Catwoman, so this week's outcome is up forn grabs!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

Andrew Cameron is in town to chat with us about movies that screwed us up in some way. We speak about untold terrible things, none of which are Uwe Boll but we should rectify that. Check Andy out in the Andy and Karl Style Hour on spotify.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

How does actor make act? These questions and more solved in a very special Citizen Kane Vs podlet.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

Set the table .... FOR FUN! Michael Ruderman stops by to help us through this meal based pairing. Might I suggest some Banff Ice vodka to go along with your listening experience. Makes it all go down smoother.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

Story good? How story be good? We give surprisiningly little insight into what we think makes a good cinematic story. Is it the script? The direction? Or maybe it's nothing emperical at all and it's just mushy movie magic that makes our brains go yay. Happy Family Day!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

All the mother issues wrapped into one solid and terrifying episode as we delve deep into the mind of Darren Aronofsky. The old testament was a lot like the Marvel universe, and drugs are bad are just some of the hits this week so hit play and enjoy!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

We're tired so here's a podlet. Another instance where we solve definitively whether movie franchises are a good thing or not. Our decree will be handed down to the people after the episode and passed into law by all national governments. Enjoy!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

It's January Madness, except unlike the NCAA the performers in our bracket actually got paid. 32 of the worst films go head to head in a bracket playoff format to determine once and for all which film we've reviwed is the worst film in CKVS history?This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

Oh boy. A beloved paternalistic rah rah America Christmas classic goes up against a paternalistic theocratic propaganda film. It gets ugly. This one is sprawling, if you've got some holiday travelling to do then this is the ep for you! And to Kirk Cameron, may the yuletide log slip from your fire and burn your house down. Happy Holidays everyone! Our gift to you . . .

The one that started it all vs the one that might end it all? At least for DC. Apologies for Sean's mic, things were screwy. You can still hear him but it's faint at times (maybe that's for the best?)

Round and round and round we go, in a maze of bad acting and bold choices we throw a truly beloved classic against a mostly forgotten Hunger Games clone to see which will find the secret at the centre of the puzzle or something or other.

It's Fantasy Adventure Month! Mostly because it's starting to get cold outside and we'd like to pretend we're in a realm surrounded by fantasy monsters, rather than the monsters we have to deal with on a day to day basis irl. Luck dragons fight the devil, puppets fight Ridley Scott, and the film industry begins it's long tradition of hiring people based solely on whether they make Tom Cruise look tall or not. Enjoy!

Are we just mindless zombies purchasing our way through existence? Are malls the most dangerous places in the world? DID JACK WATCH THE RIGHT MOVIE?! We (in theory) compare Romero's classic zombie flick with a schlocktacular horny teen horror film. You'll want to bite into this one . . . get it? Like zombies bite. HAPPY HALOWEEN!!!!!

Spooptober is here again! What do you do when the crops fail? Well we're all gonna find that out pretty soon, but here's a couple of cautionary tales. Hot tip: Bear costumes, while entertaining, are not great for hand to hand combat.

We're back with full episodes and we're back for season 4! The AI have taken over and they've programmed a whole new season of entertainment starting with these two takes of time travelling adventurers. Austrian and stoner accents abound. Enjoy!

It's right there in the title. Do computer graphics enhance our ability to create and understand film for the better? Or maybe is it a net loss? CGI Leia was pretty freaking creepy so maybe there's your answer.

Art is fun! Artists sometimes aren't. Is it possible to truly separate the creator from the creation, or will their actions colour the work permanently? We once again definitively decide an answer!

In our continuing effort to remove all nuance and subtlety from art, we bring you a podlet on perfection in film. What makes a movie perfect? Which films do we think are perfect and why? It's highly intelligent stuff here people, we're very smart.

Does historical accuracy in film really matter? If that question made you feel something, then this episode is for you!

You loved our definitions of a classic, now we bring you the definition of the other thing we look at on this podcast . . . namely schlock. What is it? How is it pronounced? What makes it so god damned entertaining? Also is Avatar schlock? As always we are incredibly definitive with our answer.

Finally getting around to some shorter content, in this first podlet we solve once and for all what the term "classic" means. Our definition is the only truth, don't even try looking it up elsewhere.

How do you stop a tyrannical post-apocalyptic dystopia? Running. How do you save your own life and bring down international crime syndicates? Running! But this all must be done with the unlimited amounts of flair and panache available in the 80s and 00s. Classic Arnold? We'll see.

Happy Jesus Day! Well I guess he rose yesterday but maybe he takes a while to get up, you know? We examine what the persecution of Christ and his followers might look like if they were from New York, and also what boring people think the rapture will look like. Please send all donations to the Church of Kane.

We dive into the evolution (or de-evolution depending who you're talking to) of the game of hockey. Everyone gets at least a 2 game suspension. Shake your fists in fury at the instigator rule as Sean William Scott and Paul Newman try to punch their way out of their problems.

Rodentia tie us together this week as an old chestnut takes on some kind of smelly french cheese or something (the metaphor has already disappeared). Adam Reid drops by again to give us his thoughts on Eldritch beings and American composers. Daniel is on assignment for the church.

What would you do for a million dollars, or just a book deal? What if Robert Redford were there too? This dilemna that has plagued humanity for time immemorial is examined thoroughly and decisively this week as we compare some proposal themed films from the last few decades.

There is a deep evil in the depths of space, and only Mila Kunis or a pretty blonde boy can save all of humanity. Genetics, space capitalism, Nietzschean ovetones, unbridled Eddie Redmayne! Come for the space opera but stay for the Hawk-People taint.

Have you ever been so angry you've punched someone's heart out of their chest? Watch these movies and that might change. Miranda Meijer joins us once again to level the battleground while comparing these two "pillars" of video game to movie entertainment. Dinosaurs evolved into humans?

Steven Seagal is the worst. So of course we need to mock him! His career is a true project in vanity, and you can learn more about the path of destruction in his wake, and all about these two "films". Miranda Meijer joins us to coin the phrase "The Seagal Pocket", and the Church of Kane expands its reach!

The early 90s were a bastion of fashion, and extreme hobbies. Take in both as we explore the maritime adventures of a bunch of gnarly surfers. Is Rob Schneider worth your time? Invariably no.

Mall Santa is an esteemed and historic job. No single figure has held the nation together more than a Mall Santa. Let us explore these legends through two magical tales. Sorry for dropping xmas content two days after xmas.

Dads have it rough. Whether you're selflessly saving your podunk town from bankruptcy, or just being a terrible father to your kids, sometimes you just need a break. Too bad, it's christmas. Buy some presents and be better. You've been told.

What if board games but movie? We delve into this extremely complex question as we explore these two films. It's pretty amazing how you can shoehorn a concept into pretty much any film. And how hard you can phone in your performance while still cashing a paycheque.

The most classic mushroom fueled sci-fi fever dream book is now a movie TWICE OVER! We look at both Denis Villeneuve's modern take and David Lynch's 1984 'cinematic experience'. Did our eyeballs start bleeding? They might have, but you'll never know just from reading the episode description!

You'll never guess the twist ending that comes at the end of this episode. Will they ever get to the first round? Was there a puppy present during recording? Did they have pizza?! Only one way to find the answers to these Shyamalanian riddles . . . .

Pack up your sleeping bags and kiss mom and dad goodbye, we're going to camp! These films shocked the nation when they first dropped, but will they hold up now? Also has anyone seen Jason? He went swimming an hour ago and hasn't been back.

We're back for season 3 with our SPOOOOPY Halloween! The dead rise, and they want brains, or flesh, or just to be understood? We examine the movie that started the whole zombie genre, and then a movie that turned it all on its head. Welcome back folks!

We're taking the top 16 movies that have won their respective episodes and we're putting them head-to-head to determine which movie will reign supreme. Miranda Meijer joins us to help keep us level headed as the competition heats up. How far will The Mummy make it? 

In the words of Nomi Malone, "You can't win if you don't gamble". That phrase is just factually not true but oh boy was there a gamble in these films. Roles that made and destroyed careers, what could be more fun to throw head to head? Special guest Steve Vlahos joins us to wade into Paul Verhoeven's mind, and Channing Tatum's abs, and he also gives us a little peek into his experience voicing Psycho Goreman.

Steven Spielberg goes to war! In two different decades! Separated by 20 years! This one got away from us a bit but hey it's still entertaining. Maybe listen to it in sessions?

Canada has sent out a lot into the world, but few can ever hope to surpass the impact that our Ryan's have made to pop culture. Frederick Banting move over, here comes the dreamy gaze and sarcastic wit that only Canada can produce. This episode also serves as a national petition to change the country name to Ryantopia, get on board or get out.

Which would you choose: A mind altering terror-drug that turns you into a homicidal maniac or a mind altering political philosophy rooted in years of misinformation and greed that turns you into a homicidal maniac? It's clear this round that even though a Citizen Kane of the Week is awarded, none of us are winners. HAVE FUN!

Sam Raimi. Based on your reaction to that name we can tell a lot about the person you are and the kind of movies you like. If that sentence intrigued you then you have no choice but to play on and to hear what we have to say. It is movie law, I'm sorry we have no sway over that . . .remember emo Tobey? God what a choice.

Low budget masterpiece takes on low budget Canadian b-movie. Like ketchup and mustard could there be a more natural pairing? Today we delve into the slasher originator and what hopefully becomes the originator of a whole new series. It was a good week folks!

Submarine week everyone! Get out your novelty pleasure craft and hit the high seas with your novelty torpedoes and depth charges. If you're looking for hot sonar action, then look no further than this week's episode. We've got Soviets, we've got CIA agents, we've got Rob Schneider whether you like it or not. Dive in!