Podcasts about Carradine

Actor Robert Carradine on Hollywood Legacy & The Party Nerds Pop-Cast | The Brett Allan Show In this episode of The Brett Allan Show, host Brett Allan sits down with legendary actor Robert Carradine, best known for his iconic role as Lewis Skolnick in the cult classic Revenge of the Nerds franchise. A true member of Hollywood royalty, Robert opens up about growing up in the famed Carradine acting dynasty, working alongside Hollywood greats, and how his experiences on and off screen have shaped his life and career. Robert also talks about his latest creative venture — The Party Nerds Pop-Cast, his hit podcast co-hosted with longtime friend Richard Gabai. Together, they explore nostalgia, pop culture, and the magic of 1980s and '90s entertainment from an insider's perspective. About The Guest Robert Carradine is an American actor, producer, and musician whose career spans over five decades. From The Cowboys with John Wayne to Revenge of the Nerds and Lizzie McGuire, Robert has cemented himself as a pop-culture icon. He's also the co-host of The Party Nerds Pop-Cast, available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube, where he and Richard Gabai share Hollywood stories, deep dives into pop culture, and interviews with fellow legends.

Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 6 Zane and the Chancellor Get Jiggy In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels. He who said 'Live by the sword/die by the sword' wasn't into empire-building     In past lives I must have been the first guy up the ladder storming the city walls, the first one into the castle breech, and that trooper charging the machine gun nest, because the only thing I could think to do when my hands were on my nemesis's breasts was to pinch those nipples harder and pull them toward me and up. Mel gasped and fell forward, pressing her chest into mine. I kept twisting and pulling her nipples for thirty seconds while she made these little choking noises, ending in one loud gasp when I let them go. She kept her hands resting on my hips while she brought her breathing under control. "You ,  bastard , she wheezed. "I am ,  going to ,  make you pay." "You sound so angry, Professor Bazz, but I notice you still have your body pressed tightly against mine," I pointed out in a deep seductive voice. I could feel her willing her body away but the flesh refused to obey. I dragged a hand from her shoulder, up her neck to her jawline, then back to her neck. "Your pulse is throbbing like a race horse, Professor," I whispered. "If I stay, I'm going kiss you, and if I kiss you, we are going to end up on the floor ,  so I had better go." Maybe it was the whole city wall/breech/machine gun thing that made me dip down into her. Bazz moved her face away but that only opened up my real target area more. I bit into her neck, eliciting an absolutely slutty yelp, then followed up with a few seconds of tight suction. It ended with one last jab of the tongue before I pulled away. Bazz regarded me, angry but also anxiously anticipating my next move. "I need to go now or I'll be late for Karate Club," I informed her as I backed for the door. The Chancellor answered that with another slap, which stung, and a stomp on my foot, which I avoided. "Was that for the bite, or for leaving you wanting more?" I inquired, "You really do look sizzling hot right now so I'm kind of wondering." "Get ,  out," she growled. With that she strutted back to her desk but before she could round the corner, I let out a low wolf whistle that brought her up cold. She looked over her shoulder with a furious glare. "Whoops, sorry," I shrugged. "You have a great ,  well, I was going to say ass, but really your waist, hips, ass, thighs and calves are all pretty damn fine. You can't blame me for enjoying the view." Randy picked up a glass and gold statue from her desk and hefted it, clearly calculating her desire to hit me with it against the value of the item. "I'll make you grovel at me feet," she said with relish, putting the statue back down. "I'm going to fuck you like I own you," I rebounded. Our eyes clashed, then she pointed to the door. This time I wised up enough to make a gracious exit, breezing past Ms. Marlow and Ms. Goodswell as I left. The women went in opposite directions, Ms. Marlowe going into Doctor Bazz's office and shutting the door with Ms. Goodswell running me down and grabbing my arm. "Zane, what ,  did she slap you?" she blurted out as she looked at my face. "I've had worse," I replied. "What did you do?" she worried. "I'd tell you but you would most likely be ashamed of me. Suffice it to say we didn't part on friendly terms but I'm not expelled yet either," I informed her. "Zane, you don't know who you are truly dealing with," she pleaded, suddenly vulnerable. "She got to you, didn't she?" I asked with new insight. "I'm not going to turn on you, if that's what you are asking/" Virginia assured me. "No. She got to you when you were here as a student," I clarified the question for her. Her lack of response was its own answer. "Are you using me to strike back at her?" I wondered. "No ,  no. Zane, I want you to win on your own merits and not for something I did years ago," she answered fitfully. We silently stared at one another for a few seconds. "How bad is it going to be now?" she questioned me. "How personal has this become?" "Well," I mumbled, "I caught her masturbating, pinched and twisted her nipples, then bit her on the neck ,  oh, and I told her she had a nice body." "You are an idiot," was her assessment. "She is going to make it her personal mission to cause you as much pain as possible." I gave a timid smile. "Damn it, Zane, she will still come after the people around you." "Virginia, she is going to come after us no matter what I do or don't do as long as I stay. The difference is that now I have her out in the open. Now I no longer have to guess what she might be like or what's going around in her head. Making it personal makes it easier on me because I don't doubt that I belong here anymore," I explained. "Now it is me versus an evil bitch." "She's not been beaten in ten years," she warned me. "That's because you hit like girls," I joked. "I thought by now you would have learned how hard girls can hit," Virginia sighed. "It isn't that girls can't hit hard, it is the boobs that get in the way," I quipped. Virginia gave me a glare that was more amused than angry. "I have to get to Karate Club now." "Go," she dismissed me, and off I went. First Victory at the Gym This round of Karate Club started much better than Wednesday's, seeing how I could stand without pain again. I spent the first half of the hour sparring with my second tier teammates and doing exceptionally well. When we were called together for a joint session with the first team, most were elated; me, I was suspicious. Coach Dana Gorman brought out Team Captain Wilhelmina Spellman and pretty much broke her down in front of us. Cappadocia came and went down next. "This has been very unsatisfying. It is clear that our leadership has been lax in developing our skills. Is there anyone willing to defend this team's progress?" It didn't take a rocket scientist to understand there was more to come of the beatings Willy and Cappy had gone through. "What about you, Mr. Braxton?" Dana came to the point of this whole exercise. Willy and Cappy, like me, were Christina supporters, and this was clearly an effort to nip the rebellion in the bud. "Thanks but no thanks; I think I've learned enough from you today. Maybe I'll feel ready for a fascist beat-down on Friday," I laughed. "Fine, Mr. Braxton , she continued. "Please Dana, call me Zane, since you are clearly trying to figure a way to get my blood on your fists," I interrupted. "Zane, if you show a little backbone and join me in a friendly practice session, I'll make you exempt from Handmaiden's Duty tomorrow," Dana offered. "Make it any person of my choice and we have a deal," I answered. "Very well," Dana agreed. "I choose Rio Talon," I jumped at the opportunity. "Done. Now get up here," Dana motioned. "Who will referee us?" I inquired; Dana smiled and pointed to the first team member whose ass I'd kicked an hour earlier, Mercy Chaplain. That seemed fair , We went to our sparring positions. It should be pointed out that I had two years of informal training in kickboxing; Dana had over fifteen years of competitive experience in Karate. I had height, weight, and reach on her, but since this was a Karate match I couldn't use all my moves. In essence, I should have been running instead of fighting. "Ready ,  Go," Mercy shouted. My first thought was 'Damn, that's fast,' as I blundered my way through my initial block. I didn't have a second to marvel at my good fortune before another quick flow of kicks and punches came my way. I ran out of room, luck, and fighting space, taking a blow to the cheek. "Point!" Mercy called out. We fell back to our initial positions and we started again. This time I ended flat on my back and her 'touch' to my chest that was supposed to finish me really hurt. "Point." "Is this the best you've got, Zane? Do you want to give up now?" Dana asked evenly. I spun up, resumed my starting position but remained silent. Dana lined up and came at me again. This time I did the wrong thing; I gave up my reach advantage, catching her off-guard for the split second it took me to drive my knee into her diaphragm. I rode the blow into Dana, driving her into the ground and finishing her with a blow to the chest. "Point." I rolled off the coach before she could react and reverse our positions. Dana sprung up and took a fighting stance. "That wasn't a Karate move," she pointed out angrily. "This isn't a training session so I guess that makes us even," I grinned. "Do you want to give up now?" I retook my start position but adopted the more fluid kick-boxing style. "I see you've stopped pretending to know Karate," she snorted. "At least one of us has stopped pretending," I shot back. "When you actually start caring for this club again, let me know." The strike was so fast I didn't really see it. I'm so damn good my arm actually tried to block before the thought registered in my head; I was just too slow and she snaked past my guard to slam her fist into my stomach. Another blow came, followed by a leg-sweep. I plummeted to the ground and Dana was on me like a leopard closing for the kill. Dana's only problem was that this had ceased being tournament combat and become a street fight. I brought a knee up between us, deflected her fist with my elbow, and pile-drove my skull into her forehead. This let me leverage her off me and break back to my feet. Just my luck; Dana was right on me, barely letting me get my hands up for protection. The Coach was still coming on, rapid-fire with kicks and punches; I could not find an opening to attack back. Something had changed, though; Dana was showing me much more respect. Twice more I fended her off from the ground but the third time she was simply too much, connecting her fist to my cheek so hard she drew blood. I half-expected a second punch but it never came. "Point?" Mercy called out in confusion. Dana stood up quickly and looked at me. I jumped to a standing position in one fluid move. I rubbed the back of my hand against my cheek. The sweat stung the wound and I left a smear of blood, which I licked off. I defiantly walked back to my starting position. She came at me like a desert storm, fierce and burning. The outcome was pretty much the same except I took the finishing blow like a jackhammer to my jaw. "Point." I saw stars and was still wobbling when I returned to my starting position. Not being at 100%, the results were predictable, I was back on the mat in five seconds. "Point." "Stay down," she ordered me quietly. I pushed myself up and worked my way back for some more punishment. Dana took her position and ,  I kicked her so hard upside her head I was momentarily afraid I'd broken her neck. She landed face first; I flipped her over and punched her hard in the sternum. "Point." "I can keep this up all day long," I promised Dana as I took my turn staring down at the Defeated. Thirty seconds later I was staring up the ceiling of the gym with several girls, Dana and Cappy among them, looking down at me. "What happened to the other guy?" I moaned. "What other guy?" Cappadocia said, "It was , She was clearly worried I had a concussion. "The truck that hit me," I joked weakly. "Please tell me that hitting my face ruined their whole day." "It seems you weren't able to keep this up all day after all," Coach Dana told me as she stood to leave. I was on Martian time," I coughed. "They have much shorter days." I had no idea if that was true or not; I should ask Iona. "I think our lessons are finished for today," Dana announced. "Right when I was starting to wear you down," I teased her. Dana stopped walking away and studied me with annoyance. I tried to stand, with half the girls trying to help me up while the others tried to hold me down for my own survival's sake. "Assume the start position," Dana ordered me sternly. I finally managed to force my way to my feet but by the time I had, Wilhelmina had taken my place. "Wilhelmina?" Coach Dana questioned. "I apologize," Willy stated. "I've learned my mistake. I should have never given up on your lessons so easily the first time. I clearly haven't learned enough but I'm willing to keep at it as long as you are." "Me too," Cappadocia chimed in defiantly. Dana Gorman wasn't an easy woman to push around. Willy, Cappy, and two other girls kept going at her until we had to break for dinner. Before the five of us left the gym I tapped Gorman on her shoulder. "Rio has tomorrow free and clear, remember?" I asked. Dana nodded reluctantly. "What about Ms. Becket?" she questioned. "You keep the fight fair and I'm not worried about it. You keep making this crap up as you go along and we will have a serious Come to Jesus meeting. Please pass the word on because I'd hate for some girl to walk into this thinking you can protect them," I cautioned her. "Mr. Braxton, I can protect them," Dana stated confidently. "I sincerely doubt that since you have no idea how I'd get my revenge," I grinned, before spinning away and starting to join my fellow students. "All I have to do is stop you, Zane," she pointed out. "That's your mistake, Dana; I'm no longer alone. We are willing to play as rough as you are now. If you keep this an educational experience nothing will happen," I warned her. "Do you really think you have that much power here?" Dana scoffed. "Nope. But then, I'm not the idiot who punished Christina Buchanan for showing a bit of mercy toward Rio and I. Without her, we were doomed, so thank the Chancellor for giving us all common cause," I explained before leaving with the ladies. By the time I made it to the Dining Hall things were looking bitter and depressing but events quickly proved my boast to Dana to be correct. The pro-Rhaine forces had been pretty harsh to the freshmen supporting Christina and morale was low. Christina had, upon arrival, started rallying her supporters with a few kind words and a gentle touch. When Mrs. Carradine went to stop her and make her resume her seat, Rio 'accidently' coated the teacher in spaghetti, broccoli and a double helping of jello. She didn't get to enjoy her success for long; four girls planted their trays on Rio's head right after that. But they clearly didn't know who they were dealing with. Rio calmly picked up a meatball from the ground, popped it in her mouth and told them, "Yo, bitch, tell the cook it needs more salt," then made her way back to her seat and acted like nothing had happened. Iona grinned wearily and brushed some broccoli out of Rio's hair. The train wreck that followed was predictable. The teachers tried to enforce a ban to stop the food fighting but clearly were far more concerned with suppressing Christina's side. Five unresolved food attacks later, Christina secretly sent out the word and her followers attacked en mass, selecting known Rhaine supporters and burying them in one rush that no authority on the floor could stop. Before the teachers could bring order out of the chaos, Christina directed her people to escape. I joined the exodus and soon found myself in a group of ten seniors, Christina and company included. I stood next to Barbie Lynn as the others hashed out what was going on and slowly, the reason for me being there was revealed. Seniors and juniors were in this little movement because they knew, liked, and respected Christina. Freshmen and sophomores were more in this because of me, mainly based on the novelty of my existence. I was an administrative screw-up, but I was TheIR administrative screw-up. I also made the Handmaiden's Duty a fun thing whenever I could and not an onerous chore. Apparently, a few of them even described me to the seniors as 'charming'. Our problem was, how did we make our rebellion grow? The fact was that most of the incentives were doled out by the faculty. "We target sympathetic teachers, then," Christina directed. "That food fight had to make us look good too," Chastity said. "Nothing is as effective as a failed suppression attempt." "I'm fixing up the Solarium tomorrow," I informed the group. "So?" one of the unnamed seniors stated in a condescending matter. "You need a broom?" "Actually, I've recruited ninety freshmen and we are going to prep the entire roof for occupation," I responded. The senior looked to Christina who gave her a clever lopsided grin. "Temperance, I told you he wasn't a lost cause," Christina reminded her. "Occupation for what?" Faith inquired. I looked nervously about because that part of the plan was so easy to bust apart. I decided to give a partial lie. "On Sunday afternoon I'm having furniture delivered from a rental service," I told them. "What's a sofa or two going to accomplish?" Temperance questioned. "How about three flat screens, two pool tables, a hot tub, two refrigerators, a coffee bar, a Wi-Fi hot spot, and eight rooms full of furniture?" I related to the small group. "You are bringing in all of that?" Temperance gasped. "You got us a hot tub?" Barbie Lynn exulted. "Zane inherited a small fortune," Christina pointed out. "That's small by Christina's standards," Chastity teased her friends. "Yes, Barbie Lynn, our dorm will have a hot tub," I tried to keep the lusty images of Barbie in a bikini out of my mind. By the look in her eyes she was having even less success than I was, though; I doubted I looked as good in a bikini. "How are you getting the water up there?" Hope seemed intrigued. "The roof's gardens were rigged for irrigation so we have the water. I am adding a few hot water heaters for any other needs, including the dish washer, washer/dryer, sauna, and showers and Jacuzzi tubs. Believe me, I had some friends look this over," I promised. "I think we can trust Iona to have done a thorough job," Christina glanced my way knowingly. "Iona?" a different senior asked. "Iona Becket," Heaven answered with a smirk. "That's his witty little sidekick who invented Zane's Handmaiden's Duty schedule. She's tons smarter than he is." "Heaven, anytime you want to stop talking about me as if I'm not in the room, feel free," I jibbed. "Don't hold your breath, sweet-cheeks," Heaven snapped right back. That little exchange seemed to have eased the tension in the group. "Let's split and keep up the recruiting drive. Stick to groups when we can and try to help any freshmen we know to be on our side," Christina directed. The group split up but instead of heading into my dorm I headed toward the parking lot. "Zane, where are you going?" Christina inquired. "I promised my aunt we'd spend a few more dinners together and I'm late as it is, but can I have a moment of your time when I get back?" I responded. Christina gave me a curious look then nodded and led her posse in the other direction. Each girl waved me good-bye in their own way. After the dining hall melee, eating with my aunt was purely mundane and relaxing, for which I was very thankful. Honestly I only wanted to shave her legs. "Zane, what's up?" Christina said by way of greetings when I returned to campus that night. Despite the gang being alone, the group of us gathered in tightly together. "I had an interesting talk with the Chancellor today, as you all probably know. Among other things, she told me she knew Heaven's secret and she'd expose it and my relationship with her, bringing about my humiliation," I informed them. There was a hush amongst us. "What, what did you tell her?" Heaven asked fearfully. "I told her to go right ahead," I replied. A murmur of displeasure went through the group, except Christina, who stared intently at the ground, and Heaven who looked like she was going to cry, or kick my ass. "How could you do that to me?" Heaven whispered. Before I could answer, Christina chuckled softly. "Heaven, the key phrase here is 'humiliate him'. Zane isn't afraid of the whole world knowing you two are together. She's severely underestimated him and his ability to differentiate between lust and friendship." Heaven looked to me for verification. I gave her a kiss on the lips before saying, "Christina said it better than I could, but she knows what I meant." "Besides," Hope added, "now that Zane is here, Heaven, you get grandfathered in, so to speak. You've been here three years so they have to let you graduate." Heaven look to me with some kind of new curiosity. Once again I almost wish she'd kick me instead. "Heaven?" I questioned her. She bit her lip. "Can we have some boyfriend-girlfriend time?" she asked me all of a sudden. "Damn, Heaven, I thought we agreed to share Zane?" Chastity teased her. "Along with letting the poor guy get some sleep from time to time," Hope agreed. "Can we get together tomorrow, Heaven?" I begged my transsexual lover. "Make sure you get Barbie Lynn's permission," Faith joked weakly. "Screw this," I groaned, "I'm getting a clone." "That's enough, ladies," Christina announced. "Zane, thank you for the information. It gives us some things to think about; good night." Heaven rushed up and kissed me hungrily before joining her departing friends - ravenous little minx. I've Never Done this Before I made my way to the dorm and proceeded quietly to the fifth floor, saying goodnight to a few girls along the way. I was pretty sure the door being locked guaranteed me a bit of alone time. Clue number one that this was not going to happen was the soft fluttering glow from the top of the stairs followed by the faint scent of roses and wax. I was trying to figure out what Barbie Lynn had planned when I came up to the landing and saw Brandi and Opal reclining on the bed and staring at me, illuminated by the light of a dozen candles. 'Oh, fuck,' I thought, 'Brandi, leg shaving, rescheduled from earlier this evening, plus Opal hoping for a three-way later. Damn it!' I must look somewhat put-out because when Brandi addressed me she was cautious. "Is everything okay?" "Yes, absolutely," I responded. "I need to get some hot water, some towels, and we can begin." "We brought up the towels and hooked up a coffee maker for the hot water," Opal said. "Great," I summoned up as much enthusiasm as I could manage, "let's see what I've got to work with." I walked up to Brandi, taking off my shirt. As I came up, Brandi swung her legs off the bed and spread them to either side of me. I sat cross-legged on the floor, taking my shoes and socks off. Before slowly and sensually removing her shoes and socks, I made sure to massage each calf. "So, what kinds of tools are being provided?" I questioned her. "We have shaving cream, a safety razor, a multi-purpose moustache trimmer," Opal presented to me. "Trimmer?" I questioned. Instead of speaking, Brandi stood up - which kind of put her crotch right in my face - then slowly wiggled down her panties until she stepped out of them and tossed them aside. "I want a rose," Brandi informed me with some passion as she lifted her skirt and exposed her pubic hair for my sculpting pleasure. I was at a total loss of what to do so I went with what came natural; I leaned forward and took a lick. Brandi was already quite worked up, juicy and succulent to the tongue. She leaned in and began running her hands over my scalp. With Brandi's skirt draped over me, I had an epiphany: I was not alone in this. I grabbed my phone and made a rather interesting phone call, my mouth was working on Brandi as it rang. "Zane?" Leigh said. "Umm, Leigh" I responded as I switched from lips to fingers in Brandi, "I need a favor." "Sure, babe, what is it?" she replied. "I'm, well, shaving a girl's legs and, pubic hairs, hold on, Umm, I have never done this before and I don't know how to do a design," I asked. "What do you have to work with?" Leigh inquired while I dipped in deeply with my grooved tongue, bringing forth a throaty moan from Brandi. "A safety razor, shaving cream, and a moustache trimmer," I answered. "No silly, what does the area you are working with look like; thin, thick, hairy, or sparse?" Leigh asked. "I, oh, hold on," I replied. I turned the phone around, clicked it, and sent a freshly snapped picture. "Zane, did you just, Brandi gasped. "Oh, God!" she then giggled. "You did, didn't you?" I upped my licking game to assuage her worries, which only made her moan louder and rock her hips. "Zane, where are you? What are you doing right now?" Leigh snickered, knowing the answer. "Honest, Leigh, it is school work," I shot back, then "Yes, Brandi, I've brought in a consultant." This brought in more giggling from both sides of the conversation. "Zane, if you can tear yourself away from her muff, start shaving her legs and I'll call you in fifteen minutes with what the girls and I can come up with," Leigh chuckled. I reluctantly left my station beneath Brandi and poured the hot water into a basin with cooler water until it was barely uncomfortably hot. Setting things by Brandi's feet, I grinned at her. "This will be better with the skirt off," I told her. "This will be easier if everything is off," Opal added eagerly, then explained with, "You wouldn't want your shirt or bra to get wet." 'Shirt or bra to get wet?' I doubted that was where Opal's mind was at. Opal wanted a chance to ogle Brandi's naked body before closing in for the kill; my mind ran the same way. I was a tad curious, wondering what Brandi thought of Opal's continued presence but not so much that I was willing to risk the moment for Opal. Using a steamy hot cloth to coat Brandi's legs turned into a really erotic act. Once I covered the right leg, I went back and removed the first compress and applied the shaving cream. Brandi's legs were 'so hairy' I was pretty sure they hadn't been shaved since, this morning; Hell, the damn things were so smooth they were reflecting the candlelight dancing around us before I even started. I was three-quarters up the left leg when Leigh called back. "Hey, Stud, how is your latest victim doing?" Leigh teased me. I popped off a photograph of Brandi below the waist in response. "Lucky bitch," Leigh squealed. "Hey, Zane!" shouted Paris over the connection. A few more "Hey s" came over the phone right after that from girls I couldn't identify. "Come on, girls," Leigh growled playfully to her Kappa Sigma Sorority Sisters, which was followed by a chorus of "Goodnight, good luck, and see you tomorrow." "I'm sending you a rose design that should work for you and it's to scale," Leigh informed me. Sure enough, I looked at my phone and saw there was a beautifully done rose on some girl's pubic mound. It looked very realistic and I told Leigh so. "That's because it is real, Dummy. It is a sister at Colorado State," Leigh responded. "That was nice of her," I told Leigh. Leigh laughed loudly. "Nice? No, we showed her a picture of you and traded a night with you over Spring Break for the picture and the help," Leigh chuckled. "Seriously? I wasn't aware I was that good looking," I sounded incredulous. "That's why we love you, Zane, you are smoking hot but don't act like it; that and your big cock, your dynamite stamina, and that awesome sexual prowess," Leigh faux-sighed over the phone while I lowered my head in shame. I kept shaving, though, because I didn't want Brandi's skin to get cold. "Where am I going to meet my savior?" I asked Leigh. "We are still working that out," Leigh replied. "Tawny doesn't want to give you up for the entire time so we may need to fly a group of them down to Florida when we go." Great, now I was spending Spring Break in Florida, which city, I didn't know yet. "Of course I will honor my commitment to the Kappa Sigma's," I assured Leigh. "I can also help with airfare if needed." "We never doubted you, Zane; now get to work and warm that poor girl up, I mean work her over," giggle, "I mean, do your duty and make her look lovely where it counts," Leigh finished. "Thanks, Leigh, I owe you. Can I get a picture of my muse?" I inquired. "I'll give her your phone number and you two can talk it out," Leigh responded. "I'm okay with that, we should get along; but I'm off now so goodbye," I finished up. I looked up at Brandi and flashed her the picture and let her study it. "That looks cool, and she's a red-head," Brandi noted. Opal snuggled up behind Brandi on the sly and looked over her shoulder. "Well, now we know who to watch out for when we follow Zane down to Spring Break," Opal pointed out, "Or at least we know what she's like down below." I decided that working on Brandi was my mission for the night. A hot compress to her private regions was my opening diversion but as I lay the cloth down, I slipped a hand back to her cunny and slowly began to play with her lips. Brandi lay back on the bed, propped up by her elbows and resting against Opal's thighs and stomach, laying her head between Opal's breasts. Opal was on her knees behind Brandi and was reclining to let Brandi stretch out. As far as I could see, Opal was down to wearing her socks and skirt and that was all. I worked two fingers into Brandi's virgin slit; three strokes in and one up to clip the clit. I waited until Brandi's nipples were both fully erect, perky, and a deep, dark pink. I sprayed out the foam, cut the foam down to a manageable level and with the picture in one hand I began my shaving experiment. God favored Brandi because it turns out I am a prodigy with a small razor. Brandi's design was virtually identical to the girl's from Colorado. She was so enraptured with the whole procedure, she missed Opal's hands slowly sliding down her shoulder to her chest. Opal traced her fingers under Brandi's perky breasts, unnoticed except by me. When I finished, I took Brandi's hand and directed her toward my mirror on my wardrobe. She rose up on her knees and looked over my handiwork and cooed. "Zane," she turned and jumped me, "this is fantastic. All the other girls will be so jealous," Brandi squealed ecstatically. I took her by her knees and drew them toward me until I was back between her legs. "Do you want to go now or is there something more you want me to do?" I asked in a darkly sensual and seductive voice full of passion. Brandi grew quiet and uncertain so I took her tit into my mouth, held it in place, and flicked my tongue over its stiff nipple tip. "Ah, ah, ah, Zane," Brandi moaned. She bit her lip and rolled her head back until she bumped into Opal, who was moving back behind her again. "Hey," Brandi responded dreamily to Opal, as if suddenly remembering she was with us. "Hey, yourself," Opal purred in return. She moved a hand between Brandi's torso and the arm she was using to support her reclining figure, to the side of Brandi's breast. I pressed one hand between Brandi's legs and began rubbing that spot right above her hooded clit, bringing about further sexual confusion on her part. She started panting and licking her lips while shifting her gaze from my eyes to Opal's. Finally, her lips remained open and Opal knew it was the moment to breach the space between them. Brandi stiffened and I waited for her to rebel but when she didn't, I compounded the pleasure of her embrace with Opal by increasing my teasing and pulling with my teeth on her nipple as well as rubbing one finger around her clit and slipping it into her hot cunt. That did the trick because Brandi freed one supporting arm up and wrapped her hand around Opal's head and pulled her deeper into their embrace. For her part, Opal matched Brandi's passion with unleashed desire, stroking her hand around from the side of her breast into lazy circles closing in on the nipple. We kept this up for several minutes until Brandi began squirming. She ended up flopping onto her back with Opal splayed out to the side on her stomach, still kissing her lips and face. Instead of following Brandi's body up, I returned to her sweet cunt and led off with a rapid tongue-fucking that brought a quiver to her thighs almost immediately. "Oh, Christ," Brandi gasped as she arched up once, then twice, before desperately grasping my pillow and screaming into it. Great, another screamer; but at least this outcry was shrill and tingled the toes instead of shattering eardrums. I sat back on my haunches as Brandi continued to twist and writhe on the bed. Opal gently tickled Brandi's nipples, keeping Brandi's orgasm going on and on, but I saw the opportunity in this. I located an unused hot compress to clean my face then snuck over to Opal and ran a hand along her ankle. It took Opal less than a second to judge my intentions and eagerly spread her legs to allow me in. I had played with Opal before; she tasted great and responded with barely constrained excitement every time. I began placing little kisses along her inner thighs, half way up from her knees. By the time I placed the tip of my tongue on the junction between her thigh and cunt, she relented in her assault on Brandi and lay back fully on the bed. For nearly a minute the room was filled with the faint echoes of Brandi and Opal breathing heavy and my licking and lapping Opal's cunt; she was really juicy and thick to the tongue. "Hey," Brandi said in a sultry voice. I peeked up and saw she had rolled onto her side and was looking down at Opal with a romantic gleam in her eye. "Umm, Opal moaned with a serene smile on her lips, a very happy girl. "Your nipples are very puffy," Brandi continued as she poked Opal's left nipple with her fingertip. Opal answered that with a coaxing touch to Brandi's stomach along the bikini line. "Can I?" Brandi asked Opal, her eyes flitting from Opal's eyes to her breast. Opal nodded. Brandi engulfed the top of Opal's breast with one 'pop' sound. The way her cheeks moved around, Brandi was whirling around both flesh and nipple in a rapid motion. Opal's other hand reached over and put gentle pressure on the back of Brandi's head. "That's a good girl," Opal cooed. Brandi looked up, beamed affection at Opal (so I was later told), and switched to the farther nipple. I slowly pushed Opals legs up by the back of her knees and lengthened my tongue lashing from above the clit to the tip of her anus, which made Opal squeal and shiver. "Oh, I'm so loving this school year," Opal exclaimed with bated breath. "Me too," nipple-lick, nipple-lick, "Slurp, slurp, so good," Brandi added. Opal began losing the ability to talk coherently, drew her legs so far back she was pressing Brandi into her, and began thrusting her hips up to my mouth. I switched my full attention to sucking and nibbling her clit and slipping two fingers into her tight virgin cunt. "Hey!" Brandi gulped as Opal grabbed her by the shoulders and began pulling her up. Brandi was clearly confused so I took a moment to see if I could help. Opal was trying to maneuver Brandi into a kneeling position, "Sit on her face, Brandi," I guessed. "She wants to lick your cunt." Brandi looked back at me somewhat uncertainly, to which I responded with a reassuring look; then she giggled and started straddling Opal's face. Opal went after Brandi so hard and fast the girl yelped and bucked up, but Opal's grip on her thighs allowed her to keep her lips locked tightly on Brandi's cunt. "Ayaya!" Brandi gasped out as Opal licked furiously and Brandi rocked back and forth like a nude princess doing dressage. I let Opal's legs come down slightly because I discovered another task for my hands. With my left hand I reached underneath Opal's thighs and began teasing her butthole. I used my right to part Brandi's cheeks and do the same with hers. Brandi looked over her shoulder, gave me a smile, and kept rocking. Opal trembled slightly but pushed her reservations aside. The first hint of anal penetration kicked Opal over the edge and she had a whole-body seizure as her orgasm rocked through the three of us. Brandi pulsated even harder on Opal's convulsing face, virtually propelling my first finger's digit up her ass. She squealed delightfully. "Zane, that's wonderful!" she screamed. "Fuck me! Fuck me! Yes!" and she went off, with no pillow to shelter our environs this time. Brandi toppled over and I had to grab her leg to stop her from tumbling off the bed and onto the floor. She was still gasping and panting too much to articulate a response, though thankfully she didn't struggle. I sat there stretched out for several seconds before Opal became aware enough to help me pull Brandi back to safety. I sorted Brandi out to one side with Opal on the other and settled between them, all of us staring at the ceiling in various states of sexual recharge. "Is everyone okay?" I managed to ask after a few deep breaths. "No," Opal murmured. I groaned, imagining what else I would have to do to get her to go to bed when Opal reached out and stroked my cock. "Someone hasn't gotten what they've wanted tonight," Opal purred as she rolled up onto an elbow and looked down on me. I let her work me over for a while but when I made a move toward her own love box, she slapped my hand away. "No, Zane," she scolded me. "I'd like to be able to walk to my room, not crawl, so behave." As I nursed my slapped wrist, I noticed that Brandi had rolled over and was looking down at me and what Opal had returned to doing to me. "I, can I?" Brandi asked tentatively, extending a hand to my member. "Sure," I smiled warmly. Brandi touched it, drew away rapidly, then touched it once, twice, and on the third effort managed to wrap her hand around my shaft. "It is so warm, no, hot, and throbbing. I've never held one before," she whispered in an almost worshipful moan. "Our boy Zane is actually quite big," Opal grinned like a predatory cat. "You've," gulp, "held a few cocks?" Brandi wondered. "No. But several of us girls measured him while he was, preoccupied and checked online for references. He definitely qualifies as larger than most," Opal chuckled playfully. "You measured me in the shower?" I grumbled indignantly. I would have been angrier except that as Opal stroked up my cock, she would intertwine her fingers with Brandi's stationary hold, rub my cockhead, then stroked back down. Fuck, that was awesome. Somewhere along the way Brandi began pumping the top of my cock while Opal kept up on the bottom. Sometimes when you don't imagine life can take you any higher, you get tossed a stepladder. Opal leaned in and licked the slit of my knob. Three passes of the tongue later, Brandi leaned in and gave it a try. Do you know you can tell the differences in the girl by the texture of her tongue? I'm learning new stuff every day (and night). I only exited my early bliss when I felt Opal's mouth engulf me and take in an inch, displacing Brandi's hand. Opal moved her head up and down in a slow, steady, slick motion with a tongue that had advanced rapidly in proficiency in the past week. I almost missed Opal snaking a hand to the top of Brandi's head and bringing her down within striking distance. Brandi probably didn't know she was sticking her tongue out and licking her lips with sensual grace mixed with school girl innocence. In a move that would have made the Women's 2008 Soccer Team proud, Opal transitioned Brandi to her first taste of cock effortlessly and didn't need to press the new girl's head down. Brandi hovered there, her lips over the cockhead and her tongue lifeless. Her eyes flashed to Opal, then to me, begging for guidance. "Roll your tongue around the head," Opal counsels her, "while going down a little further, until you are about to gag." Brandi proceeded to do just that and I had to admit she was really enthusiastic. "Umph humf " she gurgled as she took almost half of me into her steamy mouth, brushing the back of her throat. "What was that?" Opal teased her as she stroked Brandi's hair and twirled a lock around her finger. Brandi reluctantly pulled off, yet managed to do it with an angelic cast to her aura. "I thought this would be gross but cock-sucking is wonderful. I want to gobble Zane all up," Brandi bubbled, "Do you think I can swallow all of him?" "Slow down, cowgirl!" Opal giggled. "No teeth," I cautioned her. I didn't want to sound like a wimp but I'm seriously attached to my cock; it has gotten me out of trouble more times than I can count. I owe it to Zany Zane to keep him safe. "Tell me if I'm doing something wrong," Brandi peeked at me coyly. Before I could rummage up a reply, she pursed her lips and went down on me again. She bobbed up and down repeatedly and after a while, Opal joined in by pumping the bottom of my shaft and fondling my nuts. Brandi gagged again and again but kept charging back down for more until I felt her throat's embrace of my cock tighten and my girth slip farther down. Not to be outdone, Opal deemed it time to nestle her head against Brandi's cheek and suck in one of my balls, licking and sucking on my ball sack. She lifted my leg aside and over her shoulder so she could slide around for better access. Hell, I would have twisted myself into a pretzel for the sensations those two girls were giving me and the only other thing I could think was, this was them at the beginner's level. What would experience bring? When Opal began rubbing against my anal ring, I could feel my control slipping, a red haze of orgasmic anticipation overwhelming everything else. "Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, I'm going to cum!" I cried out. Brandi bobbed, oblivious to the implications for several more seconds. "Brandi," Opal warned her urgently, "he's about to shoot his semen down your throat!" That caused Brandi to freeze up, begin to panic, and start gagging once more. She popped up, her teeth scrapping over my angry purple head, causing me to yelp. "Oh, God, what do I do?" Brandi pleaded. "Put your mouth over his head, suck lightly, and stroke him rapidly with your hand," Opal guided her. Opal caught my surprised look so she explained. "The Science Club has an illegal internet hook-up the school doesn't monitor. A few of us looked up blowjob techniques." Brandi came down on me with remarkable alacrity and a touch made more intriguing by her rapid, painful departure. Then it occurred to me: we have a Science Club? "Atta girl," Opal sighed with some relief. She'd blown me once before but it had been, admittedly, her first time. "All, most, there," I growled to Brandi. My hips began micro-thrusts up and Brandi became more vigorous. "Get ready," Opal grinned. "Now swallow like crazy, and it is a creamy/salty taste so don't freak out." "Cumming!" I growled, and I did. Brandi choked for an instant but then I felt her throat constrictions as she gulped my seed down and rolled my cockhead with her tongue. Six times I shot off strongly, once or twice as twitches, before I sank down onto my bed and started breathing at something resembling a normal rate. Brandi sat back before I was totally done, savoring the taste of me in her mouth. Opal guided herself to my still hard cock and began lapping up the remains of my semen and Brandi's copious saliva. "When can you be ready again!" chirped Brandi. Blink. Opal chuckled around my rod, clearly amused with Brandi's evolution to a more sexually liberated mindset. She then sat up and began licking my semen that was still around Brandi's lips and dripping down her chin, I gotta do this again! "Give me a few seconds, Brandi," I joked, as I wormed my way up toward my pillow and collapsed. "Groan, we should also consider going to bed sometime before sunrise," Opal muttered only half-jokingly. The two girls cuddled up with me, Brandi in the middle, trading kisses back and forth between Opal and I. I reached across her and tantalized one of Opal's nipples, causing her to close her eyes and bite her lower lip. "When can we get together like this again?" Brandi sighed happily, as she pushed her heart-shaped ass against my crotch and stroked Opal's cheek and temple. "At 5:45 in the morning Zane has shower time and anything goes. So if you want to get together then, Opal hinted seductively. Brandi bit her finger like the lovely little slut-angel persona she had suddenly embraced. "What's next, Brandi wondered, "for us, sexually?" "I think bedrest is next," I told her. "I think she means experimenting, and if I know Zane," Opal winked, "he'll get behind the situation." I groaned at the play on words but Brandi was confused. "This isn't the time," I sighed, feeling the fatigue creeping in. "Oh, come on," Brandi begged. "Well, I've heard certain Seniors talking about Zane, and how he pounds that big cock up their asses," Opal purred with feline seductiveness. Brandi shivered, then flexed her ass around my hardening cock. "That," she worried while squeezing my cock with her ass cheeks, ", up my ass, that's scary," Brandi whimpered. "I've never done it before but I hear those girls really love it," Opal tantalized Brandi, "that thick cock pushing deep into you, filling you up, his hips pounding down on your ass, while he kisses you on the neck and ear, his hot breath," Brandi began rubbing her cunt, "on your neck, that rod pumping in and out, and Opal started laughing. Brandi began breathing heavy, her heart rate quickened and her hand picked up its rhythm. "Imagine all that heat that was in your mouth, in your ass instead, burning you up and stretching you out until you just can't take anymore, and then, Opal paused for effect ", he tells you he's halfway in." Brandi rolled over and looked at me with wide eyes, clearly in need, clearly ready to ask me to fuck her ass then and there, and my phone rang. Sold Out and a Price to be Paid "Zane Braxton?" an unknown female voice inquired. "Sure is; Colorado State?" I guessed. The woman gave a playful chuckle. "Brianna Kincaid," she filled me in; her accent was a bit off but I couldn't place it. "Well, did you like what you saw?" "I can't believe you actually asked me that," I laughed, "but since you want some well-deserved flattery, I'll tell you that what I saw was damn sexy, but, well, " "Yes?" she questioned. "It made me wonder how great you must taste, and how your flush lips would feel along the tip of my tongue, you know, the way they are when you make that first tentative contact," I explained. "Ah, fuck," she moaned, "that's teasing, damn it!" "Is it teasing if I plan to deliver?" I countered. "Do you promise to make me cry your name out like Sister Leigh did?" she upped the ante. "Huh? What? Am I missing something here?" I evaded. "Did the Lancaster chapter house tell you what they sent out?" Brianna questioned me. "They said they sent a picture," I replied, which caused Brianna to laugh uproariously. "Damn. They sent out an edited session of you with Leigh, and then you, Leigh, and Paris," she chortled. "I, well, let me explain," I stammered. "Wait, video too?" "Yes. Leigh's webcam was on," Brianna snickered. "She claims it was accidental." Suddenly the whole 'dunking me in the pool' thing was a bunch more suspicious. "It was really nice of you, trying to take the fall for those two, I mean Paris and Leigh, with their President. It shows you can be a real gentleman." "Who did she share this with?" I inquired fearfully. "Every chapter house in North America," Brianna said with unbridled mirth. My silence must have been deafening because, "Zane, did we break you?" "No," I sighed, "it is just that I go to a Christian School and this may become a problem." "Christian School, please tell me it is a college of some kind," Brianna pleaded. "For that matter, please tell me you are at least eighteen." "My school is Freedom Fellowship University here in Lancaster," I assured her, "and I'm eighteen. I have been for a few months." "Thank God. I was afraid that I had broken the law," she sighed. "So is there anything you want to know about me?" "What's your major? Do you have someone in your life? What year are you in college?" I inquired. "You don't want a picture or to know my age?" she asked with some curiosity. "Well, age isn't really a factor for me, unless you are some kind of child prodigy, you should be legal. As for a picture, not really, because if you see me and don't want to hook up, there is no harm, no foul," I outlined. There was a pause on her part. "Zane, where did you say you went to school?" she asked suspiciously, leading me to believe I was the victim of an internet search. "FFU. And I know it is an All-Girls School but I am a student here. It is a long story but Leigh and Tawny can verify it," I swore. "Wow, what is it like?" Brianna questioned. "Me and over nine hundred women? It is exhausting, plus the Administration wants me gone so my school days are full of excitement," I confessed. "So what exactly were you doing with that young lady I helped out tonight, anyway?" she asked. "We have a quaint little tradition here at FFU called Handmaiden's Duty. It requires any freshmen to do any task that a more senior student asks, baring anything actually damaging. Freshmen are safe in classrooms and dorm rooms," I related. "So, you end up doing things like shaving a girl's legs, or shaving her muff in a rose design, that's classic," Brianna murmured appreciatively. "And here I was afraid you were a whore." "I prefer the term 'slut' over 'whore,' but I am a slut. I love women, and I love learning about a woman's body, how special it is, unique and exquisite," I told her. "Damn, you sound sincere," she said with compassion. "That is because I am," I replied honestly. "Okay, here you go," she stated, and a picture arrived in my box. My eyes must have bugged because there were giggles on either side of me. "Brianna, I'm afraid your eyes will steal my soul," I whispered. "They are so deep and green, like an angry, rich sea whipped by a storm." "First off, wow, that's a hell of a sweet thing to tell a girl," she sighed sexually. "Second, who are you with? Or at least tell me how many girls you are with." "I call 'em like I see 'em, and I leave a woman's identity in her own keeping so it's not something for me to reveal," I responded, trying to be chivalrous. "Opal!" called out Opal (funny how that works), and tilting herself into view. "Brandi," my second bed-buddy added with a bit more decorum and only showing her head. "They sound cheerful, I mean, Opal and Brandi, you sound cheerful. How is my boy Zane doing tonight?" Brianna called out. "Thank you for your help tonight, but to set the record straight, he's our boy," Opal corrected her. "His work looks great," Brandi jumped in, then grabbed my phone, lowered it, and took a pic of my handiwork on her body. "Neat, huh?" "That is so cool!" Brianna reacted to the view she was presented with. "It looks just like mine. Are you sure this was his first effort? If so, he's got talent." "This was my first effort, I swear," I defended my creation and retrieved my phone. "Quiet, Zane, the ladies are talking," Opal mocked me. "Oh? Oh, hell no!" I roared at Opal. I dropped the phone and leapt on her while she squeaked and tried to roll away off the bed. I caught her and we struggled, me on top. Opal beat me with her fists but it was more play fighting than real because she couldn't stop laughing. "What's going on?" Brianna shouted. "Come on, somebody, show me what he's doing to her?" Brandi picked up the phone and swung it toward us. I had Opal pressed under me, her fists pinned to the side by my hands, and my hips keeping her legs apart. Her legs were wrapped over my hips, her heels kicking into my rump. While Opal's playful lilt rang out I was busy nibbling her neck, which was turning that lilt into deeper moans. Brandi recorded a short video, including one of her waving 'Hi' for Brianna's later use. "There you go," Brandi grinned. "Holy Crap, he's living his life in a porno," Brianna exploded with laughter. "Hey, Adele, come look at this!" I prayed that Adele was her roommate and not someone she barely knew who was passing down the street. "Whoa!" a different voice came on seconds later,

A few minutes with the "Pom Pom Girls" star before his OmahaFilmEvent.com screening on Oct. 24th.

Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 1 When Glen Zane Braxton is accidentally accepted into a fundamentalist women s college. In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels. Leading up to the first day of college. Every old trick was invented by someone once upon a time. A Little Background: Hi. My name is Glenn Zane Braxton but everyone calls me Zane. I'm a good-looking (or so I'm told) athletic kid just over six feet tall and just under two hundred pounds. I get my Nordic looks from my Mom who hails from Norway. I apparently get my optimistic attitude and loose moral structure from my Dad, though I was to learn that Mom was a bit freaky too. My parents were killed in a rock climbing accident when I was fifteen so I was sent to live with my Uncle Tim (Dad's younger brother) and Aunt Jill. Unfortunately for me, while my parents had been rich hedonists, Tim and Jill were fundamentalist Christians doing missionary work in northern Thailand. I spent the next two-and-a-half years in a place where a paved road was a luxury. I have nothing against Christianity; I consider myself a decent Christian but I believe my faith stops at the next person's 'I'm not interested'. My aunt and uncle were a very different breed. They believed that it was every Christian's duty to convert our little brown brothers and sisters (no shit, this is what Tim told me) whether they wanted it or not. Needless to say, I witnessed them busting their self-righteous heads against the faith and traditions of these ancient people they'd come to 'help enlighten,' while I learned all about Thai culture, cuisine, and kick-boxing. I learned that spending time with Thai women was a hell of a way to get another kind of education too. On the down side, Tim beat me whenever he found out about the women. To get back at him, I spent time with Buddhist monks - score one for the Zen! Three months ago there was an incredibly brutal monsoon and something possessed Tim to go down to the river to save people. Since every sane individual was running away from the river, I pleaded that we go with the people that actually knew what was going on. Instead, I ended up with my Aunt and Uncle hip deep in the muddy water when an uprooted tree hit Tim and Jill. Like a fool I jumped into the flood waters after them. I got to Jill - Tim was a goner. Afterwards, when I realized that no Tim meant a return to the States, I was not crying tears of joy - that would have been cruel. After they gave up the search for Tim, Jill and I returned to Western Civilization. Jill surprised me by actually having a college degree that was useful and she got a job in Virginia working as an insurance adjuster for a nice sized company. I had completed my high school credits online back in Thailand and passed my college entrance exam so I was looking forward to partying it up somewhere far away from Jill. Fate has a funny way of laughing at me, though. For some byzantine reason, Dad set up my trust fund so that I would get a fraction of my inheritance when I turned eighteen, as long as I was in an institution of higher learning approved of by Tim and Jill - now just Jill. Otherwise, I had to wait until I was twenty-one. I wanted to go to the University of Hawaii Jill found a nice little place close to what she called home, real close. Speaking of home; our living arrangements were courtesy of Tim's generous insurance policy and his own little share of Dad's family's money. She bought us an expansive two-story spread with nice large yards, front and back, right where the countryside hits the suburbs. I wished we had a pool and even offered to dip into my own funds to have one put in but since pools were 'cesspits of depravity' Jill nixed the notion. Getting a car was also an interesting discussion. Jill said 'no way' and wouldn't budge until we noticed that our neighbors were two nice looking ladies in their twenties (I guessed). On the day we moved in I went over to talk (I'm drawn to women like a comet to the Sun) and spent over an hour getting to know them. There were two big pluses about their place; one was the large pool in back, which the girls (there turned out to be more than two) promised I could use whenever I wanted, real nice of them. The other one was, When I got home I told Jill not to worry about the car; the cute lesbian couple offered to pick me up from school whenever I needed a ride. "Are they atheists?" Jill gasped. Apparently them being homosexuals wasn't enough? "Nah, they are Wiccans," I lied again with a smile. We went car shopping the next day. I figured I would tell Jill we lived next to a sorority house (to the other university in town) at some later date. What Not to Wear Moving in turned out to be half the battle for my life at the new house. Next came the clothing war. Personally, I think I look great naked and do wonderful with people of the female persuasion but in Virginia they arrest you for this. Since I only have a twenty percent chance of being taken in by a female police officer (or the five percent of the male officers who are out and-out homosexuals), I'm going to go to jail if I go around nude. My solution was to look around the local teenage hangouts, websites, and social networks to get me a style that would be both individualistic yet fit in. Aunt Jill was of the opinion that my school uniform (see below) would be my normal look. When I told her I'd use my own money to get what I wanted she threatened to throw them out because I was still living under her roof. I got pissed off and since my outlet options were pretty limited, I stupidly went to my room and did what every teenage boy should never do when their female guardian is at home - maybe I have malaria and the fever was clouding my thought processes. In Thailand I would simply go out into the jungle Jill never went out into the wilderness if she could help it. There was no jungle and Jill knew right where my room was, and since it was her house, she barged right in. Half way through giving me a piece of her mind Jill noticed me, the Vaseline, the box of Kleenex, and what my hand was pumping. I yanked the comforter on my bed, trying to cover myself, which resulted in my flipping off the bed (I was sitting on the comforter) and rolling to Jill's feet. Jill stood there with her mouth wide open, eyes glued to my cock. I stopped pumping but my rod wouldn't go down despite my shame, not of my erection but because I didn't like sexually taunting a recent widow. "That's, that's disgusting," she gasped while still fixated on my erection. I wiggled around so that I could pull up my underwear and slacks. Once my cock was under cover Jill started harping on me. "You vile pervert," she seethed. "What is the meaning of you showing your, thing to me? You are filthy. Wash your sheets then wash your hands then never do this again." "Um, Jill, Aunt Jill, I'm an eighteen-year-old male. I need to masturbate," I informed her. "Not in this house," she said shrilly. I grabbed the tissues and Vaseline, then headed for the door. "Where are you going?" she worried. "Into the woods out back," I answered as I tried to move past her. "I kind of need to finish this." "You will do no such thing," Jill gasped as she grabbed my arm, "you might be seen, and it's wrong." First priority for Jill was social appearances while my spiritual well-being was somewhat less important at that moment. "Jill," I cautioned her, "I really need to knock one out. I'm stressed." Jill grabbed the Vaseline and tissues from my hands, not because she was stronger but because in my own twisted way, I still acknowledged Jill as my authority figure; not much of one, but one nonetheless. Ripping them away from her wasn't an option so, "Jill, you are my only parent now. I need to come to you about, things sexual," I suggested. "No," Jill responded with some shock. "There will be no sex in this house. You will have sex when you are married and not before, ever. Even then, sex is only for procreation." "Jill, I'm not a virgin," I informed her. Her jaw dropped but I'm not sure if it was shock, horror, or something else. "You've had sex with a girl?" she whispered. "Aunt Jill, I had twenty girlfriends back at the mission," I related. "Did, Did Tim know? How did it happen? When did you do it?" she stammered. "Tim knew; that is why he kept beating my ass. "It happened simply enough; we would be bathing down at the river and if we liked what we'd seen and if things clicked, we'd go fool around. Sometimes we'd kiss and touch and sometimes we'd have sex; you know, blowjobs, cunnilingus, vaginal and anal sex," I continued. "Gack, ah, oh, God preserve me," Jill sputtered. "As for when, the best time was right after Bible study when you and Tim were preoccupied with the parents and us kids could sneak off to a house and fool around in the common room, and then couples would pair up and have sex in the bedrooms," I finished. "Oh, poor Tim," Jill moaned as she slumped against the door sill. "Can I have my stuff and go now?" I asked softly. "No," she snapped. We kind of stood there for a minute before she asked, "Were you sneaking peeks of me at the river?" "Umm," I half turned away, "yeah, I did." Jill looked offended. "You are very sexy, Jill," I attempted to mollify her. It didn't work. "You pervert, you freak, that's incest. It is against God's Laws!" she screamed at me. "Jill, we are not blood related, and I never said I actually wanted to sleep with you, only that you have a very nice body," I countered calmly. "Shut up! Stop talking," she shouted, before storming off, leaving me even more frustrated. An hour later Jill sent me out to get some pizza but when I got back she wasn't in the house, though her car was still in the garage. I smelled smoke and followed the scent out into the backyard. I saw what Jill was doing; she didn't need to tell me what she was up to but she did it anyway. "I think we need to put your misspent time in Thailand behind you," she announced, "so I've decided it is best to get rid of all the clothes, books, and statues you brought back." "You should have asked me," I stated. Of course, this meant War. "You are awash in sin, Zane," she answered in this twisted, loving tone. I turned and went in the house. What had that monk said to me when I'd discussed my relationship with Tim and Jill? One does not build a house of stone out of grass Which he suggested meant petty payback satisfies little and is soon gone, but real revenge comes from working permanent change on your opponent. Over the next four days I ordered a secure chest online, withdrew my bank limit each day, and started taking a pitcher of grape juice to my room at bedtime (it will make sense in a moment). I decided to start my plan Sunday night. Stage One: after Jill has gone to bed, fill her car up with gas and report all her credit cards and bank card stolen. We have plenty of food in the kitchen and Jill takes her lunch to work so with the car full of gas she won't immediately notice her cards are useless tomorrow. Also withdraw yet another five hundred dollars with my bank card, which is the daily limit. Stage Two: Once Jill has gone to work, I put three of her Sunday's Best into the steel chest, to which I have the only combination. Burn every piece of ultra-conservative matronly-wear, from underwear to bathrobes to jackets. Now that mid-morning has come, I head over to the Sorority House and enlist the aid of my two new friends, Leigh and Corrie. We go clothes shopping with the money I've saved up. Each 'sister' gets one thing (for services rendered) and the rest of the money we dump on getting Jill everything a sexually confident and active twenty-something would wear (Jill's only thirty) as well as getting me some normal clothes. I'm not going to attempt to make Jill dress like a hooker; that would never work. Jill's been warped by her narrow-minded environment for all of her three decades so making her more tolerant is going to take time. Stage Three: As we are heading to the bedrooms that evening I 'accidently' bump into Jill and soak her with a pitcher of grape juice she now knows I'm taking to my room on a regular basis. Grape juice doesn't come out and a pitcher will soak her down to her underwear and bra. "Sorry, Aunt Jill," I blathered. "Oh, Zane, this dress is totally ruined. I should make you pay to replace it," she sounded cross. "Consider it done," I offered. Technically, I'd already bought her a new one. Jill went into the bathroom muttering Leviticus before tossing me a roll of paper towels to clean up the spilled juice. "Zane?" Jill called from the bathroom with a hint of concern. "Yes?" I responded from the hallway. "Where is my bathrobe?" she inquired. "In the laundry," I lied. I hear her putter around for a few seconds, then, "Go to your room and shut the door," she ordered me. I got up and made a point of noisily shutting my door. Half a minute later the bathroom door squeaked open and I heard Jill pad quietly to her room and shut the door. I opened my door and sprinted to the bathroom. I retrieved her clothes from the hamper and tossed them in the sink, got the carefully secreted lighter fluid from underneath, doused them, and tossed in a lit match. At the same time as I'm doing this, I heard Jill slamming dresser drawers open and shut. "ZANE!" Boy, what have you done?" Jill shouted from her room. I raced out of the bathroom (on purpose) at the same time Jill burst out of her room so we were basically five feet apart when Jill remembered that she was naked; I was barefoot in pajama bottoms. Jill's look was priceless as she realized that the number of men who'd seen her totally naked since she hit puberty had just doubled. She spun around and bolted into her room, door slamming shut once more. It took her a few moments to form a plan. "Zane, go to your room and shut the door," she growled with a tad more control. "Sure thing." I grinned as I walked to my room, shut the door, and leaned against it waiting for what I knew would unfold next. Sure enough, Jill raced to the bathroom. "Zane, where is my dress?" "In the sink," I told her. Three, two, one. "ZANE! What have you done!" she screamed once more. "My bra, my underwear, my hose, she sobbed. "Jane, you have a robe in your closet. If you want, put it on and come to my room so we can talk this over," I suggested. I didn't hear anything for fifteen minutes as I waited on my bed. Finally, the door swung open slowly and Jill took a half step into my room. Her eyes were downcast in shame but her voice was full of hurt and anger. In her mind there was no possible reason for me to have done this. She was pulling off the Hurt Little Girl bit really well with her mid-thigh crimson satin robe and her wavy, deep-red hair flowing loosely over her shoulders and down her back. "I can't believe you picked this out for me to wear, Zane. Now where are my clothes?" she ground out. "Jill, you look good in that, really good, but I didn't pick it out for you. I had our next-door neighbors do that because you are all beautiful young women," I explained. "If you tell me what color you are wearing, I'll tell you where your clothes are." Jill stood stock still as she worked out that I was talking about her panties. "Blue, the deep blue ones, with the black, lace," she whispered. "Not the white?" I had to ask since I would have guessed this was the first pair of non-white panties she'd ever worn. Her constricted mind had expanded a tiny bit. "The white ones were nearly see-through," she answered after a second. I had to agree with that. "I put your clothes exactly where you put all the stuff I brought back from Thailand," I answered. It took a moment for that to sink in. Her burning green eyes popped up in shock. "What am I going to wear to work tomorrow?" she wailed. "I'll tell you if you agree to one request I have for you," I replied with compassion. "Fine," she hiccupped. She was so body conscious that she wasn't really thinking about the implications of what she was saying but I believed she would still honor her word. "I want you to wear your hair down all day tomorrow, or in a ponytail, but that's it," I ordered. Jill looked at me truly confused; she always wore it in a bun. "But why?" she questioned. "I don't understand." "Your hair is beautiful when it is down, Aunt Jill. I figure it wouldn't kill you to try a new look," I answered. Again, she didn't understand but I was okay with that, and getting her clothes out of the closet was part of the deal. I pulled out bag after bag and set them on the bed. Jill stepped up during the process and pulled various articles of clothing out, utterly flummoxed with what she was discovering. This wasn't slut-wear but it would definitely show more of her curves and skin than she would have ever normally considered. When I finished bringing bags out she looked past me, expecting more. "I can't wear any of this," she declared. "Please tell me you didn't really destroy my clothes." "Jill, I did burn up most of your clothes and you can wear what I bought you. You are thirty, not sixty-five. When I jumped into that river, God decided that I rescued you and not Tim, and I can't believe I saved you so you could go right back to the same life you had before," I interpreted what might have been true, God doesn't talk to me. "What did I do to deserve this, Zane?" she pleaded. "You burned up all my stuff from Thailand, Jill. And while you might think of this as revenge, it's not. You may not see it this way now but one day, I hope you will understand that I love you," I told her. "Zane, I don't understand. What you did was evil, despicable, and wicked and I won't tolerate it. We should pray to God, me for guidance and you for forgiveness," she pouted. She made to kneel down at my bedside so I followed out of long practice. We clasped our hands in prayer and while Jill closed her eyes, mine remained open. Now, my bed is not even at knee level so when Jill knelt down to pray, leaning forward until her elbows were on the mattress, she inadvertently thrust her ass backwards, yes, Jill was doggy style on my bed. I had abstractly known Jill was attractive but the thought of having sex with her had never come up. What was now 'coming up' was suddenly a problem, as were my attempts to keep up with exactly what Jill was asking God for, but the gist of it seemed to involve the Almighty taking steel wool to my corrupt soul, the harder and more painful the scrubbing, the better. "Amen," we said in unison as the thirty-seven minute ordeal came to an end and Jill stood up. "Jesus has told me that I only have to put up with your dementia until morning. I'd rather get new clothes instead of showing up to work, as some strumpet," she proclaimed. "Um, where did you come up with the word 'strumpet' and who ever said it was a sin to be good looking?" I asked. "Nothing I got for you suggests sexuality, no push-up bras, crop tops, or slit skirts. They're clothes, nothing more." "It doesn't matter what you think," Jill countered. "Whatever madness you thought you were accomplishing won't work. I really should call the pastor." "And tell him what, that I burned your clothes and bought you, normal clothes? Why don't we call everyone on the church roster?" I warned her. Jill balked at the prospect of having our family feud exposed. Jill sniffed, spun, and started to leave the room when she recalled the clothes I'd bought for her. She huffed and came back for them, looking at me very indignantly. When I went to help, she warned me off with a hateful glare. An hour later, as I began to despair over my actions, I heard Jill's bedroom door open and a crinkly crunch in the hall. Upon examination, I found one of the bags I'd purchased clothes in outside her door. Inside, folded up, were the other bags. Jill had put my clothes away in her drawers and closet. I counted that to be a small victory. At breakfast the next morning I endeavored to be very correct and polite as I complimented Jill on how nice she looked. She returned my platitudes with an angry glare and she left for work without saying a word. In her favor, when she learned her credit cards were toast she didn't break down and scream at me over the phone or miss work. That evening she did still slam the door to the garage loud enough to rattle windows on the other side of the house when she got home from work. "ZANE!" she screamed, "What did you do to my credit cards?" "Your replacements should be here by Saturday or Monday at the latest," I replied soothingly as she stormed up to me. "So," I went on, "did anyone compliment you on your looks today?" "What, I, that's not important," she muttered, then she changed tact. She came over to the sofa where I was reclining, knelt down, and took my hand. "Zane, you are falling into lust, degeneration, and degradation, sins of the flesh. You have to stop this." 'Stop what?' I wasn't precisely sure. "What you want me to do? Should we pray further on the matter? Last night I felt, something, but I still feel empty," I suggested. Jill's face lit up so I slipped past her and knelt beside her. Jill was unwittingly sexy as she sashayed forward on her knees to rest against the sofa. I reached out to her and she took my hand, then the praying began. What followed was a repetitive litany of me falling into lust and dark desires (clothes buying?). Dear departed Uncle Tim didn't even get an honorable mention which would have been surprising if he hadn't been such a total bastard to me. Jill's neglect I didn't quite understand. She'd always been loyal, dutiful, and supportive. It then occurred to me that I'd never seen him exert an ounce of human compassion toward Jill. I got up and ran to my bedroom, ending up on the bed. Jill padded along behind me after a minute. "Zane?" she wondered. "When is the last time you had sex with Uncle Tim?" I whispered so quietly that Jill struggled to understand me. "But, no, don't do this, Zane, don't fall into apostasy," Jill simpered. "I have a gift for you. It is something you want but I need you to answer the question," I offered. "What is the gift?" she asked, guardedly intrigued. "I can promise you no regrets," I countered. Jill weighed her options, turned, and left. "Dinner," Jill called to me an hour later. I dutifully went downstairs to the dining room to enjoy a mediocre meal in silence. We barely exchanged a single glance. As I got up to clean the table, cleaning was my chore, Jill spoke. "Seven years." I was pretty proud that I didn't fall over in shock. First off, in my teenage, hormone-addled mind, how could anyone go without sex for seven years? Next, how could someone with Jill as a wife not want to have sex at least once every seven hours? Finally, what was Tim doing in the lady-boy section of Bangkok when he found me that one time? I really feel like an idiot on occasion. "I saved your three favorite Sunday dresses," I rewarded her. Jill's eyes showed a glimmer of hope. "Which ones? I mean, how did you know which ones were my favorites?" she pondered. "You told me, Aunt Jill. I do listen to you, ya know," I responded. She gave me the oddest look, as if I had just explained to her how Ruth slew Goliath, not David. "Thank you," she whispered. The first battle of the Witch, the Brat, and the Wardrobe was over. The war would go on. The next time we went grocery shopping (Jill decided that the less time I was left alone, the slower I would plummet to my eventual fiery demise) I caught her noticing guys giving her the once over and she liked it, of that I'm sure. How do I know this? She let me talk to the cute stock girl for fifteen seconds before reeling me in, which was long enough for her to write her number on the palm of my hand. I called her and asked if she wanted to go to a sorority party when the semester began. She informed me she was a rising senior in high school so I gave her my number and told her to call me on her eighteenth birthday if she was still interested. You can't win them all, immediately. FFU             Birds are made beautiful by their plumage but divine by their flight        Now to the college I was attending; Freedom Fellowship University (yes, that is F-FU if you stutter) is the Christian college in my new hometown. Jill read about them in online chat rooms and by communicating with some of her Christian social network gal pals. She heard they had a dress code and without checking on the specifics, she bought me a dozen sets of black slacks and white shirts guaranteed to mark me as a social leper. She signed me up for my classes. I opted for Pre-Med; she insisted I should go Pre-Law until I revealed my secret sinful desire to work for the ACLU, at which point she relented. She wanted me to play some sports, I suspect because she wanted me to have a safe hormonal outlet that didn't involve me touching women. I could have told her that dressed as I was, getting women (short of kidnapping) would be nearly impossible. The problem was, they didn't offer any of the traditional sports except for soccer and track and field. I felt that was odd but I decided to sign up for soccer tryouts anyway. I also signed up for Karate, though I had no idea what a Christian school would be teaching that for, plus Archery (I've never used a bow before), Marksmanship (I've never fired a gun either), and Orienteering (because everyone gets lost in suburban Virginia and has to subsist on squirrel and road kill, right?). I downright refused to have anything to do with the Competitive Bible Study Team. By the end of the admissions process I was beginning to think this was a school for some kind of uber-religious survivalists. Still, they accepted me on short notice and except for a tiny quirk in the online admissions form, I was sadly ready to go to college. It would be that tiny quirk that would change my life forever. There Must Be a Church! Before I could attend college there was one quibble to deal with and that was which church Jill and I would attend. I claimed to be partial to the Unitarians, mainly to watch Jill's face go from normal to pale to an angry beet red. Sometimes razzing her is too easy. Jill chose the First Anointed Free-willed Fellowship of Christ after carefully weighing, considering, and then utterly disregarding my input. I guess I had to be happy they weren't snake handlers. On that first Sunday it was raining. I ended up having to run back into the house as Jill backed the car out of the garage and I took a header into a mud puddle in the lawn. Seeing how soaked I was, Jill allowed me to miss out on Sunday school. When I tried to get to the normal service my car wouldn't start (she'd insisted on buying me a used car, which I was now allowed to return for a new one). The second Sunday was a comedy of errors. The garage door opened halfway, then got stuck, and Jill gave the wrong address to the church family she desperately called to come pick us up. On the third Sunday I was sick, so sick that I missed the Sci-Fi movie classic of the week-(end) Saturday night, Vampire Zombie Overlords II. Jill normally lets me watch it because I told her it shows science in a bad light. I would like to point out that Jill isn't stupid but she does tend to believe that which is most convenient to her world view, in this case, Science = Bad. The fourth and final college-free Sunday, Buddy Jesus informed me that I had to go because no Act of God showed up to save me. It turned out that the First Anointed Free-willed Fellowship of Christ was huge, one of those mega-churches and by the number of luxury cars in the parking lot, not one populated by the unwashed masses. Everyone was very, very friendly to the point where I refused to drink or eat anything they tried to force on me, fearing that I would become a drugged-out zombie filled with unconditional love and happiness toward the world. The one other weird thing was that there didn't seem to be any kids my age in the congregation. I had no Sunday school that day. I later learned this was the weekend of their Pre-College/High School Youth Retreat. Apparently everyone in this place acted as a herd. Before we left I met with Pastor William Penny, chief shepherd of this flock, and he wanted to be my pal. Jill was enraptured with the guy but somehow he came across as creepy to me. Will, Jill, and a few well-meaning parishioners ended up steering me to the Pastor's office (which was as big as Jill's huge kitchen). There my new buddy wanted me to sign some paperwork. Jill urged me to hurry up and get it over with and promised to take me to a nice steak house we'd seen but never been in, as if I was a small child easily pleased. Maybe I should have gone for pre-law because I ignored Jill and did read what they wanted me to sign. They wanted me to tithe, and not on my income, of which I had none, but on my net worth. Everyone around me looked hopeful and I couldn't help but smile as I picked up the pen and started laughing. When they began looking confused I laughed harder, and that made them displeased. I didn't pick up the pen to write; I picked it up so I could stab the first one to rush me. "Listen up, Pastor Bill, can I call you Pastor Bill?" I didn't wait on his reply. "I don't know you or anyone but Aunt Jill in this room," I chuckled, "and I imagine you are all terribly nice folks, but it will be a cold day in Hell before I give millions of dollars to people I know nothing about." "We are doing God's work," Pastor Bill assured me, "and please call me Pastor William." "Please," Jill pleaded, "this is what your Uncle Tim would want." For Jill's sake I didn't laugh out loud once again. Tim gave me billions of mosquito bites, outdoor plumbing, and ass-whooping s on a regular basis so all I felt I owed good ol' Tim was putting a heavy stone on his grave so that he didn't rise up from the dead when the End Times came. In retrospect, Tim did me one favor; he taught me the ability to be verbally evasive when needed. "Aunt Jill, as Uncle Tim told me, being a Christian is a matter of Faith working through the mind and hands. It is my Christian duty to make sure that his legacy (really my Mom and Dad's) is placed where God wants it. Uncle Tim would make me pray deeply to the Almighty before taking such a momentous step, so pray I shall." Pastor Bill looked disappointed in me, which was a poor mask for his unsatisfied greed. Jill and the rest of the flock seem to have bought my act and that was the victory I needed to win right then. On the way back home Jill was pleased as punch. I'd expressed to her new friends what a wise saint good ol' Uncle Tim had been. This was the day I had to move into my dorm room on FFU's campus so I didn't have much time to dwell on everything that had happened. Barbie Lynn Masters, Dorm Mother To say that I was pretty depressed when I began moving into college would have been an understatement. I met some nice girls who were also moving into my dorm but I wasn't much in the mood for talking. I found my room but they had my name wrong. Not only was I not Zane they even got Glenn wrong; they misspelled it as Glenda. I hadn't been unpacking fifteen minutes before this hottie breezed in asking if I was Glenda's brother. "Sure," I joked, "I'm Zane." "Can I see some ID? I'm the Dorm Mother," she asked pleasantly. I showed her my driver's license which read 'G. Zane Braxton'. "And you are?" I inquired. "Barbie Lynn Masters. Do you live close by?" she prodded. I looked around my room (which I shared with an as-of-yet unseen roomie), shrugged, and replied, "Yes. I live about a mile and a half away, just inside city limits," I played along. Couldn't she see that it was my name on the luggage in my room and I'd already unpacked? "Can we count on seeing a lot more of you?" she purred, stepping up into my personal space. With her four-inch pumps, she was an inch taller than me, so I had to tilt my head up slightly to meet her gaze. "Unless you have a girlfriend, of course," she demurred. "I don't have a girlfriend but I'm looking for one," I grinned back. I wasn't really lying; I was looking for lots of girlfriends. "So, do you have a boyfriend?" "Oh, no," she assured me. "I took a Purity Pledge and I have a fianc so I can't be in a causal relationship with a boy, though being a 'friend' of a student I'm responsible for is fine." She licked her lips. My understanding of her convoluted reasoning was short-circuited by her D plus cleavage, perfect teeth, long light-golden hair, soft bedroom blue eyes, and blemish free, tanned skin. I've never considered myself terribly bashful. I hadn't been with a welcoming and available female in two months; she was right there in my face, so I grabbed Barbie's ass subtly, pulled her close, and began kissing her. At first Barbie seemed to be all talk and no action, but that lasted all of five seconds before she was all over me with our tongues intertwining and our hands going over each other's backs and asses. In a flash I had my hands up her pleated skirt, inside her plain white panties, and was massaging each muscular ass cheek separately and vigorously while my lips left hers and migrated to her neck and ear with kisses and bites, all of which seemed to really excite Barbie Lynn. She was moaning and grinding against me like a teenager coming down from a forty-eight hour unresolved porno binge. Her left hand slid around to the front of my jeans and touched my crotch where I was rapidly coming to the fullness of life. "Oh, God!" she whispered as she began stroking me up and down. "Tell me that's not a rolled up sock." "Huh? What? No, that is all me. Why do you ask?" I mumbled between licks and kisses. "Oh, some boys can be very dishonest," she sighed from past experience. "Does it hurt?" "No, it feels fine," I assured her. "Are you sure it doesn't hurt just a little bit?" she persisted as she groped my bulge. Something clued me in. "Actually, it does hurt a little bit," I guessed. Barbie Lynn broke our embrace, padded silently over to the door, took a quick look out, then shut it. She was back in my arms in record time. "In that case, let me see it," she grinned. "How does a blowjob jive with your Purity Pledge?" I stupidly wondered out loud. "Oh," she beamed an angelic radiance up at me as she slid down my body and unzipped my pants, our eyes locked together, "a blow job is sinful and done out of lust but relieving your pain is blessed and done out of love." "I feel myself getting closer to spiritual fulfillment every second I'm with you," I breathed huskily as she pulled down my pants and boxers, unleashing my manhood. Barbie tentatively, with a bit of fear showing, licked the tip of my cock. I let her get used to me before resting a hand on her head. She responded by slowly engulfing my cockhead, which felt freaking awesome after my long dry spell (please remember I had virtually non-stop sex for two and a half years). She bobbed slightly while pumping my shaft rapidly with one hand and tickling my balls with the other. I tried to push a little bit but Barbie gagged. I guessed she wasn't too skilled at this but hey, everyone starts somewhere. After five minutes she was taking more than half of my length in and doing so hungrily. "I hope you are not close to coming," she mumbled between mouthfuls. "Actually, I'm feeling greedy," I responded. She looked up at me, head still bobbing. "I can sense your pain and feel I should do something about it," I explained. Now she looked confused so I backed up, pulled Barbie up by her waist and kissed her once more. I gracefully walked my hand down her waist and hip to her crotch. With a sharp intake of breath by Barbie, she melted into me and bit my shoulder. Next I spun us around and pushed her back on the bed at the corner, splaying her out for me as her bosom bounced sensually and enticingly. "What's on your mind?" Barbie asked with wide eyes. "I want a taste," I grinned evilly, which only turned her on more. I fell between her outstretched knees. I made eye contact with her as she propped up on her elbows and my hands went to her panty waistband. I grinned, she blushed, and the panties came flying off. Barbie squeaked then slammed a hand over her mouth to muffle the noise. "Use my pillows to prop up your back," I directed Barbie Lynn since she clearly wanted to watch. I maneuvered Barbie into a suitable position so that I was kneeling on the floor with Barbie's silky smooth legs spread to either side. Barbie Lynn was propped up so that she could watch me work. I got the feeling she was used to some level of stimulation, just not from a guy. I could deal with that. "Maybe we shouldn't do this now, or go back to my place where it is safer?" she asked. "I'm too hungry for you right now; your scent is intoxicating," I finished up saying, and then I went in. I didn't rush things because every first time should be special. My right hand traced the line along the sides and rear of Barbie Lynn's thighs. My left hand traced the line over her pubic area to her stomach that finally ended with her left breast. "Hurry," she panted. I knew she had somewhere to be but I was aware she could use some stress relief too. Barbie reached down with a hand to control my left hand and head but I was obeying my instincts. By the time she made up her mind to stop me, I overwhelmed Barbie with a pleasurable, mind warping first orgasm. The noise brought a few students sneaking in to take a peak. Once I had a semblance of control over her, I began a series of actions to excite her whole body. On the second orgasm she wrapped her legs around my head and nearly crushed it. While I lapped up her juices, I decided to follow that up by kissing Barbie and giving her some of her own fluids to taste, a trick new to her. I kept my cock sheathed, though all three of Barbie's holes looked delightful. I figured she wasn't ready yet but I did manage to take off her shirt in the process and fondling and suckling at her magnificent breasts. After the third and fourth orgasms, Barbie passed out, and when she woke up, she whispered to me that she wanted my cock in her mouth and cunt. Purity Pledge? What Purity Pledge? Barbie Lynn confided in me that she'd sucked cock before and thought she was quite good at it, and that a few men had temped her cunt and ass with real penetration but all she had done so far was pleasure herself with toys and with the aid of other (female) students here at school. She was still technically a virgin (no boy parts had penetrated her cunt) but she'd done 'everything else.' Was she or was she not an anal virgin? My money was on virginity. Barbie was pleased that I was going to her church (it was highly popular at the college, she told me), almost as pleased as I was to find her so receptive and hungry for more sex. I told her she needed sexier underwear and that I would gladly go shopping with her for some in case she wanted to model any (yes, I know they don't let you model underwear). While we talked I helped her get dressed, though we couldn't find her panties. We slipped out after that, Barbie to tend to her girls and me to go to my Aunt's. I told her I'd see her tomorrow. Barbie laughed as if she didn't believe me. As I left, I began to appreciate the guy: girl ratio of this place because it was looking very good in my favor. My evening with Jill passed uneventfully; we stayed up late as Jill suddenly realized she was going to be alone for the first time in years so I didn't end up sneaking quietly into my dorm room until well past midnight. The Journey Begins. Day One, It's a What? My first day of college began with a six a.m. wake-up alarm in our room. Both my roommate and I sat up at the same time. We looked at each other and the sheets failed to conceal we apparently both slept shirtless. "Hi. You are a girl," I got off first. "And you are a guy," she replied indignantly. "What are you doing in my room? I mean, why did they give me a female roommate?" I countered. "Ah, are you joking?" she asked incredulously. Clearly I wasn't, and that realization made her grin mischievously. "Where is Glenda?" she inquired next. "Ugh," I sighed. "When I was registered their system misspelled my name. My first name is Glenn, thus the Glenda, but I go by Zane, my middle name. What about you?" "Whoops. I'm Rio Talon and this is going to be wicked," she giggled. "I have to admit I never thought I'd meet someone like you at FFU." "You don't see quite the hardcore fundamentalist/survivalist type either," I responded. "Ha!" she grunted. "You got me. It was either this or three years at a minimum security prison in Arizona," she confessed. She didn't volunteer what she would have done time for and it was really none of my business. "I need to shower," I changed the subject. "I'll go with you," Rio volunteered as she slipped out of bed, and yes, she was naked, and cleverly and artfully shaved with several delicate chevrons pointing down. She also had a black tattoo of the name Lilith going from the right hip along the bikini line, definitely not Church issue. I went to the closet, got a robe, towel, and bathroom kit. Rio brazenly watched me move around. "Body-conscious much?" she chuckled. "Rio, I spent the last two years bathing down at the river with two hundred of my closest neighbors. Trying to cover up gets old really fast," I grinned back at her. "Does my body disgust you?" "'Disgust' isn't the word I was going to use," Rio said as she licked her lips and also got ready for the bathroom. "Now, let's get you shaved before, the bathroom gets flooded with people. By the way," she tossed me Barbie's missing undies, "are these yours?" "Booty from my panty raid; please don't turn me in," I chuckled, as I caught them, then stashed them in my backpack, hopefully to return to Barbie Lynn later. Rio laughed again. As I suspected, not only did I get assigned a female roommate but I was on a female floor, which earned me more than a few shocked looks. Since Rio stuck close to me, she earned her own share of looks, but these were more scornful; Rio ate it up. I still couldn't decide whether I'd miss Rio or not when I got my new room assignment. The two girls in the showers ignored Rio and I when we came in so I was able to shave in peace and get under a steamy shower without the expected shrieks. Only when they dressed in their robes and put on their glasses did things change. Their looks were best expressed as 'a boy saw me naked!' followed by 'A boy saw me naked, ' and ended up with, 'A boy saw me naked and he liked what he saw.' I get hard when the wind blows, anywhere around the globe. They fled in a fit of giggles and I safely exited the bathroom before another girl entered. It was hardly unforeseen that my attire made Rio laugh but when she suggested black horn-rimmed glasses would really complete the nerd-look, I had to laugh too. I noted her regulation skirt appeared to be a bit higher above the knee than was prudent with a pronounced lack of underwear. Rio confessed that her parents tossed all her 'stripper' wear when they shipped her off and she wasn't going to wear the 'granny' panties they had put in place of her G-strings. The trek cross-campus to the Dining Hall would have been more enlightening if Rio had not lured me into an engrossing conversation. Remember now, I had been isolated from mainstream Western pop culture for over two years and had a lot of catching up to do. We grabbed some trays of breakfast; then, at Rio's insistence, we headed outside to eat pretty much by ourselves, or so we hoped. "Professor, inquired this cute brunette with pig tails, dimples, and into pushing her tits in my face; I barely noticed she was backed up by three other girls. "Huh?" I questioned. "Braxton," Rio spoke over me. "Could you tell me, where the, um, Clegger Science Building is, Professor Braxton?" She lied pathetically. My first thoughts were, 'why is she wearing such a thin white blouse two-sizes too small?' and wondering 'when is this thread holding that central button in place going to give up on its hopeless struggle and let her boobs pop out?' Then I became curious why she called me 'professor'. "It is right over there," I said, as I stood up, put my hand on the small of her back, and pointed the way with my other hand. The location of the building was blindingly obvious since this is not a huge campus. If things weren't awkward enough, Ms. Brunette twisted, rubbed her hardening nipples against my chest, and asked, "There?" "No," I corrected by whispering into her ear, causing her to wiggle against me. I took her forearm, lingering my touch on the pulse of her wrist before directing it to the proper angle. "I would walk you there," I added, "but we have to go to the auditorium soon." "Thank you, Professor Braxton." She wiggled a third time. "It is really a pity I don't have any of your classes. What do you teach?" "He's a Biblical Archeologist," Rio interrupted, "specializing in Early Christian Erotic Art and Rituals." I felt Ms. Brunette have a micro-orgasm over that piece of fantastical news. "Are you still taking on students?" Brunette panted to me. Rio jumped up. "Whoops! Look at the time!" exclaimed Rio, "Professor, you have to go, Right Now!" With that, she dragged me away from Ms. Brunette and her girl posse and across campus. "What the hell was that about and why did she call me Professor?" I hissed to Rio as we came to the auditorium for our first assembly. "Oh, it must be some Southern thing, sort of like the English calling men 'Governor'," she lied convincingly. How do I now know she lied? It will become obvious.   I took a seat with Rio amongst the sea of students and it was just my luck that we were surrounded by girls once more. I really wasn't in the mood to have them gawk at me so I slumped down and kept a low profile. The auditorium sounded full-up and there was a magnitude of teachers and such on the stage. When a stately, attractive, yet demanding and stern tall woman with long grey hair worked up in a bun stepped up to the podium, the hall grew silent. First she led us in prayer, which I found odd because normally at this level of fundamentalism, women couldn't lead men in prayer, but I could have cared less. She welcomed the rising seniors first, then worked down the list until she recognized the new class of freshmen, reminding them of their 'Handmaiden Duties,' whatever that was. I looked to Rio who was stifling to suppress some dark glee, undoubtedly at my expense. The Chancellor of FFU worked us through some of what I assumed was normal school crap plus a reminder to review with diligence their code of moral and ethical behaviors and the names of their spiritual guidance counselors in case they felt wickedness overcoming them. Considering the thin white blouses and the short, pleated plaid skirts, yours truly and the other men on campus were going to be scoring like mad, morals and ethics be damned. A closing prayer ended the meeting and we dispersed like good little sheep heading for our first class of the semester. Rio and I both had English Literature but in different rooms so she was kind/sadistic enough to drop me by my room before heading her own way. I walked in and took a middle seat. Once again all the girls looked at me funny when they came in and I couldn't miss the fact that in a classroom size of twenty, we had nineteen girls and only one guy, me. I was mulling this over (I'm actually a smart guy but I admit, I hadn't been showing it too much recently) when our teacher came in. Her name was Ms. Goodswell (no lie) and she was a gorgeous brunette with breasts of greater proportions than Barbie Lynn's, and the rest just got lusher. Ms.  Goodswell leaned against the front of her large wooden writing desk and used her tablet to scroll down the roll call. I was number three. "Braxton," her sugary sweet voice drawled out. "Glenda Braxton." I shifted in my seat. "Here," I said in a clear masculine voice, "but I go by Zane." Ms.  Goodswell looked up over her reading glasses, expecting something other than me. As she looked at me her eyes grew larger, and she looked, and she looked. "What are you wearing?" she asked crisply. "What my Aunt told me was proper school attire, Ms. Goodswell," I replied tentatively. "Proper attire is clearly outlined, white blouse and a pleated blue and gold tartan skirt with white knee sox and black shoes. Men wear pants; women wear skirts," she clarified. I imagine my jaw dropped open at that one. Finally, I stood up so she could get a good look at me. "I'm dressed correctly, then I'm a guy," I insisted. Ms. Goodswell had looked annoyed but now she looked pissed. She strode boldly toward me, heels clicking against the marble floor. "So you insist that you are a man, do you?" she snapped. Before I could do anything but nod she slapped a cupped hand against my crotch. I coughed in pain. I became aroused despite the mild discomfort because I was now gazing down into Ms. Goodswell's ample bosom. Her eyes went from angry to utter shock. "You are a man," she whispered in horror. "What are you doing in my class?" I reached into my book bag and got my schedule, letting her gaze on it. I noticed her hand stayed on my crotch. "Nine a.m., English Lit. 101 in room 204, Denning Hall V. Goodswell," I read out loud. Ms. Goodswell read it over while she massaged my growing shaft; subconsciously or not, I wasn't sure. "Very well," she said decisively. She turned back and returned to the roll. As I sat down I had that creepy feeling that everyone else was staring at me, or more precisely, my Goodswell-inspired hard on. After that little bit of drama the actual class was okay. Ms. Goodswell was pretty bright and made our upcoming journey into the works of a bunch of old dead British guys sound fun. When the bell rang we got up and started to file out but Ms. Goodswell motioned me to wait for the others to leave us alone. It didn't work out that way; the other girls hovered right outside the door. "Okay, Mr. Braxton, what are you trying to prove?" she accused me with some real heat. "Please, Ms. Goodswell, believe me; I haven't a clue what is going on here. I woke up with a girl in my room this morning, I began. "You had a girl in your room this morning? That didn't take you long," she said bitterly. "No, wait; it was my assigned roommate, Rio Talon, and she was on her side of the room. It is okay because they accidently stuck me on a girl's floor in the dorm because there were girls in the showers too," I continued. "Didn't you thing that was a bit odd?" she asked suspiciously. "Not really, ma'am. I've spent the last two years with missionaries in rural Thailand; I'm used to bathing with naked women all the time. Initially, I figured this was some sort of bureaucratic snafu but after doing my own quick census of your class, I think I've missed something crucial," I explained. "Mr. Braxton, Zane, this is an all-girls school; men are not allowed. We can't even employ a man under the age of forty-five," she informed me while studying my expression. While my cock would have done summersaults of joy, my brain was looking at my access to my trust fund going down the toilet. "I apologize. I'm pretty sure my Aunt Jill didn't know and I assure you, I was ignorant of this fact. What do we do now?" I sighed. "I believe you, Mr., .Zane. No one would use this as an excuse after going through all the trouble to sneak in here. For now, you continue to your classes and I'll inform your other instructors of this, extraordinary event. Expect to spend lunch with the Chancellor so that we can extricate you from this situation. Can I rely on you to be good in the interim?" "I'll do my best," I promised. She dismissed me and began using her phone. When I slipped out of the room, my classmates made room enough for me to make my way down the hall. "Zane!" a young female voice called out. I turned around to see Ms. Brunette. "Is it true you are a freshman here?" I was sure she would be pissed for the whole 'Professor' gag Rio had played and I'd unwittingly gone along with. "Yes," I confessed. She'd assumed I was a teacher because I was male and I hadn't corrected her. "Kiss me!" she beamed hungrily. That was not what I expected but I reacted quickly and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. Ms. Brunette looked upset. "You can do better than that," she commanded. Again, not what I expected; I put my book bag down, took hers off her shoulder and placed it next to mine. I started off with a repeat of the last kiss but instead of that being the ending point, I used it as a foundation to build upon. I slowly drew her in; she pulled her arms up between us and cupped my face as I dipped her with enough tongue action to make our steamy embrace a thermographic exploration of lust. We kissed for over a minute before I brought her up and let her go. "Better?" I murmured to her. Ms. Brunette nodded dreamily. As I retrieved my book bag from the floor I realized I was adrift in a sea of lonely young women. I could now empathize with that lost baby seal who found itself surrounded by a pod of killer whales. "Kiss me!" insisted a blonde. "No, me; I was here first." "I'm a senior; I go first," demanded a breathtaking black woman. I didn't know what was going on and I had no idea how to deal with this bizarre situation but all that was taken out of my hands by the next noise I heard. "Get off me, bitch," I heard Rio shout out, followed by a slap and her scream. Rio was hardly my friend, in fact, she had used me for her own personal amusement for the entire time I'd known her, but she was my roommate, an outsider, and I was sure no one else would come to her aid. I shouldered my way in the directions of her screams and sobs, parting the last few girls separating us. Rio was on her stomach on the floor with three girls gathered over her. Closest to me was one with thick, wavy black hair and dark skin who had her foot pushing down on Rio's ass. The second one, who appeared to be the leader, was a black girl with shiny black hair in an intricate weave and was bouncing on Rio's back, yanking her hair back painfully, and was taunting Rio, saying she was supposed to be a good little beast of burden as well as mocking her as a 'felon'. The last tormentor was the only one facing me, though she was preoccupied with holding Rio's arms forward so she couldn't reach back to scratch the ringleader. It wasn't hard for me to figure out what to do. When Weave started bouncing up, I swept the legs out from under the other wavy-haired girl, sending her toppling backwards. I then put a boot to the black girl's ass, propelling her into the spectators on the far side of us. I didn't even bother with girl number three. I grabbed Rio by the arm and yanked her up and swung her behind me. It turned out to be a good choice because when the black girl back-flipped up in one fluid move, she landed in a martial arts fighting stance. I had a fight on my hands, or would have if the bell hadn't rung. As it was, the black girl looked both outraged and shocked when she took in my gender and my counter-stance. A flood of girls suddenly separated us. Rio took the opportunity to grab her book bag, then my hand, and together we bolted to our next class which was, oddly enough, Biblical Archeology but without the procreation parts. Our professor, Mrs. Carradine, treated me a bit coldly but the attention directed my way by the student body was anything but. I had barely pulled out my book when the girl behind me tapped my shoulder and slipped me a note. You will take my book bag to lunch and eat lunch with me. Dove Foster I furrowed my brow and showed the note to Rio who was sitting next to me. She smiled and whispered, "Handmaiden's Duty," in a condescending tone. "Didn't you read your handbook?" Any further conversation was cut short by Mrs. Carradine's blistering glare. For some reason, Buddy Jesus kept me safe from anymore female attention until the class ended and I began to make my way out. I took some comfort that Rio stayed close to my side. My Social Secretary "Zane. Zane Braxton, do you mind if I call you Zane?" babbled a shorter, slender girl with shoulder length black hair and glasses as she grabbed my elbow in a death grip from behind. "You can't ask him to do anything until he steps out of class," Rio cautioned the newcomer. Now I had to decide whether or not I'd be a slave to Dove for an hour because technically she appeared to be in violation of the rules, which I knew no

We close out our month of looking at films starring David Carradine with a wild crazy post apocalyptic film from the legendary Fred Olen Ray. We head into the desert to discuss the surprises of this film, the charm of Ray's movies and just how much can be done with very little. Check it out.Kicking The Seat: http://www.kickseat.comMoviocrity: https://www.Moviocrity.com

We continue looking at films with David Carradine with this creature feature from cult film maker Larry Cohen. The Crew discuss the multiple story lines, the performance of Michael Moriarty and David Carradine. This film has so much going on that it may be too much. Fly with us was we look at this odd early 80s action horror. Kicking the Seat: https://www.kickseat.comScotty Davis: https://www.moviocrity.com

We kicked off "Carradine Carnage" month with a very early Martin Scorsese film starring David Carradine and Barbara Hershey. We discuss how this is considered Scorsese's first major feature and how his style was evident even then. We also talk bout its short comings, its potential and the Corman Factor. Come ride the podcast train with us. Kicking the Seat: https://www.kickseat.com

Randy Quaid in 2010 asserted that a clandestine clique within Hollywood—a cabal composed of industry figures such as lawyers, estate planners, accountants, even critics—had systematically targeted and sabotaged certain actors by manufacturing scandals or orchestrating tragic, mysterious deaths. According to Quaid, this group was responsible for the deaths of David Carradine and Heath Ledger—citing Carradine's death in Bangkok, which was ruled accidental, and Ledger's overdose in New York—as examples of the so-called “Star Whackers” at work.Help us buy a camera:https://ko-fi.com/monsterfuzzSupport the pod:www.patreon.com/monsterfuzz Check out our merch:https://monster-fuzz.creator-spring.com Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/monster-fuzz--4349429/support.

Pop culture/Memoir/autobiography This NEW EDITION contains updates, new information, additional photographs and contributions. This is a significant and very personal book. Dr. Drew Pinsky: "I commend you for having the courage to step up and do it and do it thoroughly and do it properly. I think that's a very good thing." David Carradine, The Eye Of My Tornado has been inducted into the Johnny Grant Hollywood Walk of Fame Library “…it was one long rollercoaster thrill… Mr. Toad's wild ride…intense passion and emotion. He was the eye of my tornado.” Marina Anderson. Marina Anderson was just starting out taking acting lessons at Warner Bros., when she wandered one afternoon onto the candlelit set of a Shaolin temple and met for the first time, the volatile, dark and brilliant personality that was actor and icon, David Carradine. Two dynamic people merging into a karmic-destined, intense and turbulent love relationship. Each struggling with their own demons including sexual abuse and incest. Their private life was replete with love, passion, erotic pleasure and eventually bondage, sexual experimentation, and pain as an avenue to pleasure. Their marriage was marred by a toxic secret that could not be ignored. Her writing speaks to readers universally by focusing on their personal journey, revealing the truth about the couple, addresses conquering fear and overcoming obstacles, self discovery, recovery, re-inventing and rebuilding one's self. It's her personal survival while desperately trying to save the marriage as well as Carradine's constant struggle to be someone he wasn't, but wished he could be. Spirituality, psychic John Edward,other psychics and astrologers who helped her are written about in the book as well. They were married on the Warner Bros. back lot and their six-year relationship was a whirl of auditions, star-studded parties, exotic locations, red carpets and a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Marina, who was already an established actress, became Carradine's personal manager and set about rehabilitating the career of an actor who was now known for his heavy drinking. She introduced him to Quentin Tarantino, who cast David in a lead role in the popular Kill Bill films. This vaulted Carradine back onto the Hollywood A-list. After their divorce with the help of re-known celebrity Dr. Drew Pinsky (Celebrity Rehab, Sober House), issues are addressed in the consultation verbatim, occupying an entire chapter. Anderson was able to finally exorcise the demons that have haunted her for so long about their relationship and herself that almost destroyed her. “This book is an avenue for his fans and the general public to know, understand and hopefully accept him as a man, not a celluloid fantasy…to be admired for his talents and the motivations behind certain issues in his life understood. It's also to reveal the very personal interior of a marriage that people can relate to. What we do for love. We are all human beings with our faults. He was afraid people wouldn't remember him. That will never happen. The legend continues.” David Carradine's acting career spanned four decades onstage, television and cinema. He became an international sensation as Kwai Chang Caine in the 1970s hit television series Kung Fu and cemented his cult hero status with his role in the classic movie Death Race 2000. He portrayed Woody Guthrie in Hal Ashby's Bound for Glory and Bill in Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill films. Carradine received four Golden Globe nominations. He was a talented songwriter and musician and performed in a band called Cosmic Rescue Team. He died in a Bangkok hotel room, June 3, 2009, an apparent victim of autoerotic asphyxiation. Amid sensational media speculation, Marina refused to let David's death remain stigmatized like it was and launched her own investigation into the death of her ex-husband. Suicide? Foul play? A sex act gone wrong? Was he alone? Was there a cover-up? Her conclusions are startling.  https://amzn.to/45Wn9eUBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-opperman-report--1198501/support.

Milquetoast heroes, creepy uncle Dracula, and stagecoaches, oh my! Shaun Duke, David Annandale, and Daniel Haeusser join forces to discuss 1966's Billy the Kid Versus Dracula! Together, they talk about how the film got made and its place in cinematic history, why Dracula isn't named in the film, Carradine's weird performance, silent films, and so much more! Thanks for listening. We hope you enjoy the episode! Show Notes: If you have a question you'd like us to answer, feel free to shoot us a message on our contact page. Our new intro and outro music comes from Holy Mole. You can support his work at patreon.com/holymole. See you later, navigator!

Baz Richards and Michelle Ford chat with Michelle Vellacott and Tom Carradine of Tower Bridge Studios. Michelle's music hall name is Michelle Grant and Tom performs amedley of wartime hits.

Russ and Jared are spiraling into the high-tech fever dream that is AfrAId (2024), featuring a cast so stacked it feels like a casting director lost a bet: John Cho, Katherine Waterston, Havana Rose Liu, Lukita Maxwell, Wyatt Lindner, Isaac Bae, David Dastmalchian, Ashley Romans, Bennett Curran, and Keith freakin' Carradine. There's AI. There's teen angst. There's a dinner party from hell. Is the house haunted? Hacked? Emotionally manipulative? Who knows—certainly not the characters. Join us as we untangle this digital mess, roast some questionable parenting choices, and wonder aloud how many lines of code it takes to ruin a family vacation. (Written by ITMTron)

Spring Break is here! This week we're traveling down to Florida for nationals with BIKINI SPRING BREAK. Lots of antics with one as we talk about yet another member of the Carradine family. Will We make it there in time? Probably not, but Pete wants to compete in the wet t-shirt contest, so we'll try our darnedest. Find us online: Instagram: @bmoviebeatFacebook: The B Movie BeatdownEmail: thebmoviebeatdown@gmail.com Letterboxd: @Petedown @SlenderJames  

Marina Anderson Ex-Wife of David Carradine, The Eye of My Tornado / Four Feet to Fame: A Hollywood Dog Trainer's Journeyop culture/Memoir/autobiography.This is a significant and very personal book.This book has been inducted into the Johnny Grant Hollywood Walk of Fame Library."...it was one long rollercoaster thrill... Mr. Toad's wild ride...intense passion and emotion. He was the eye of my tornado." Marina Anderson.Marina Anderson was just starting out taking acting lessons at Warner Bros., when she wandered one afternoon onto the candlelit set of a Shaolin temple and met for the first time, the volatile, dark and brilliant personality that was actor and icon, David Carradine. Two dynamic people merging into a karmic-destined, intense and turbulent love relationship. Each struggling with their own demons including sexual abuse and incest. Their private life was replete with love, passion, erotic pleasure and eventually bondage, sexual experimentation, and pain as an avenue to pleasure. Their marriage was marred by a toxic secret that could not be ignored. Her writing speaks to readers universally by focusing on their personal journey, revealing the truth about the couple, addresses conquering fear and overcoming obstacles, self discovery, recovery, re-inventing and rebuilding one's self. It's her personal survival while desperately trying to save the marriage as well as Carradine's constant struggle to be someone he wasn't, but wished he could be. Spirituality, psychic John Edward,other psychics and astrologers who helped her are written about in the book as well. They were married on the Warner Bros. back lot and their six-year relationship was a whirl of auditions, star-studded parties, exotic locations, red carpets and a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Marina, who was already an established actress, became Carradine's personal manager and set about rehabilitating the career of an actor who was now known for his heavy drinking. She introduced him to Quentin Tarantino, who cast David in a lead role in the popular Kill Bill films. This vaulted Carradine back onto the Hollywood A-list.After their divorce with the help of re-known celebrity Dr. Drew Pinsky (Celebrity Rehab, Sober House), issues are addressed in the consultation verbatim, occupying an entire chapter. Anderson was able to finally exorcise the demons that have haunted her for so long about their relationship and herself that almost destroyed her. "This book is an avenue for his fans and the general public to know, understand and hopefully accept him as a man, not a celluloid fantasy...to be admired for his talents and the motivations behind certain issues in his life understood. It's also to reveal the very personal interior of a marriage that people can relate to. What we do for love. We are all human beings with our faults. He was afraid people wouldn't remember him. That will never happen. The legend continues."David Carradine's acting career spanned four decades onstage, television and cinema. He became an international sensation as Kwai Chang Caine in the 1970s hit television series Kung Fu and cemented his cult hero status with his role in the classic movie Death Race 2000. He portrayed Woody Guthrie in Hal Ashby's Bound for Glory and Bill in Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill films. Carradine received four Golden Globe nominations. He was a talented songwriter and musician and performed in a band called Cosmic Rescue Team.He died in a Bangkok hotel room, June 3, 2009, an apparent victim of autoerotic asphyxiation. Amid sensational media speculation, Marina refused to let David's death remain stigmatized like it was and launched her own investigation into the death of her ex-husband. Suicide? Foul play? A sex act gone wrong? Was he alone? Was there a cover-up? Her conclusions are startling.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-opperman-report--1198501/support.

Join Jim & Livio as they once again travel to Paris and are witness to the crimes of the person known as 'Bluebeard'. Made in 1944 and directed by Edgar G. Ulmer (The Black Cat, 1934) and starring John Carradine. Carradine delivers one of his finest performances as the tortured, yet evil Gaston Morrell. The film also stars Jean Parker, Nils Asther, Ludwig Stossel, and Sonia Sorrell. What on the surface seems like a typical 1940's PRC quickie horror movie, it quickly turns to a fantastically dark, moody, and deep horror film. This is truly a hidden gem of the 40's horror cycle! We discuss the movie itself, the actors, Ulmer, and the production. You don't want to miss this! The Regular Guy Movie ShowIn this podcast, three longtime friends revisit the movies they grew up with to...Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

In this episode, Kansas Carradine explores the balance between personal spiritual practices—like yoga, meditation, and retreats—and the call to engage with the world's needs. She shares insights on cultivating inner stillness, self-compassion, and mindful presence as essential ways to recharge and show up more fully in service to others. Drawing from her experiences as a mother, traveler, and equestrian, Kansas emphasizes how small, intentional actions can create meaningful ripples of positive change, reminding us that inner work and outer action are deeply connected.--Kansas Carradine, a prominent figure in the Equestrian Industry, navigates a captivating journey from rodeo arenas to Hollywood stunts and circus performances. Evolving into an ethical horsemanship clinician and influential speaker, she maintains unwavering commitment to the highest animal ethics standards. Notably featured in publications like Sports Illustrated and Cowboys & Indians Magazine, Carradine's multifaceted career includes roles as a performer, horse trainer, coach, and mentor in the world-renowned equestrian show, CAVALIA.In her latest chapter, Carradine seamlessly transitions into the role of an Equine Guided Educator, utilizing her innate ability to connect with both horses and people. Kansas is also a HeartMath Certified Trainer, passionate about teaching emotional self-regulation tools and helping people activate the intelligence of their own hearts for greater health, vitality, and performance.With a wealth of experience, she serves as a mentor and coach, skillfully integrating science, spirituality, horsemanship, and heart. Carradine's transformative work bridges diverse realms, creating a powerful impact on aspiring horse enthusiasts and the broader public alike.Connect with Kansas:www.CircusCowgirl.comhttps://www.facebook.com/circuscowgirl/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This entire series of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour focuses on the more macabre facets of the magic lantern partly in a bid to help clear the supernatural backlog, and because sometimes a Halloween-themed programme crops up that's just too good to leave until Spooky-Season! (or is just too awful to take that coveted slot in the review-schedule, but let's try to be optimistic) Worlds collide at Mountpeg Towers this week when Ozzy Bognops drops round, and explosions meet ectoplasm for The Fall Guy on 'October The 31st', the textbook snapshot of a celebrated 1980s TV show having a mid-life crisis. Yes, whether you're raising a cold beer to The Unknown Stuntman or a smouldering absinthe to The Mistress Of The Dark, the level of For-The-Dads™ televisual entertainment here is positively off the scale... How many litres of water does it take to extinguish Sally Field? How many litres of whiskey does it take to incapacitate Colt Seavers? And how many members of the incidental cast are changing their surname to Carradine to ensure they get a screen-credit? Grab the coroner, unearth the casket, press the Play button, and find out... The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to peggymountpod@gmail.com

In Episode 353, we take a closer look at the Hot Toys Rain Carradune from Alien: Romulus. This exciting new figure captures the intensity and mystery of the character, with incredible detail and craftsmanship. Join us as we break down everything you need to know about this must-see release from the Alien universe! #HotToys #RainCarradune #alienromulus Want to support our show? Check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/collectingweekly​== Channel Memberships: https://bit.ly/2SHjsHm Buy a shirt here: https://bit.ly/3wVXAHh Want to chat with us outside of the show? Check us out on Facebook! https://bit.ly/3seiNsv If you like our video podcast and want to hear our full library of audio releases check us out on Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3uL64iE

We're back! And what better way to start off the new year than with the second (and final) installment of our tribute to David Carradine? We could talk about Mr. Carradine for hours, so this is the short version - even with all our classic tangents (hey, new year, new tangents). Some ideas for new segments and episodes are touched upon as well, ensuring that 2025 is the year we DON'T run out of ideas! Thanks for listening and press play today! 

To paraphrase the great Faith No More, we Carradine a lot! Part one of our projected multi-part series on the multi-talented David Carradine starts out with a bang - jungle huts exploding, a falcon held by a quiet man, and a certain Chess Piece Killer. Carradine was so prolific, we can't stop at just one podcast - his movies are like Lay's potato chips in that way. So gently tap the play button today!

"Yes, we have no bananas, we have no bananas today.....", come on sing-a-long everyone. Join us as we talk to Cock-er-ney sing-a-long maestro, Tom Carradine, whose father did not play a mythical Shaolin monk travelling the American Old West, in a long running TV show. Instead he travels around London pushing his upright piano, Kimberly, to his gigs. Does this get him shirty? Why are river crossings a bug bear? And who doesn't love the great financial institutions?Hosted by Stuart Hardman with crass interruptions from #stu2, meanwhile, Sam provides the all important search engine protocol. Tom's WebsiteTom's YoutubeTom's Instagram#stu2 OnlyFans (~_^)Hardman & Hemming TailorsLinks to DatHazza, the music man!YouTube SoundcloudLinktree

Ready to break free from money stress and embrace your inner millionaire?

In this episode, Kansas Carradine rejoins the show to discuss The Gaucho Derby, Heartmath, and her spiritual mentors.At 11 years old, destiny took Kansas's hand and led her to Riata Ranch, one of theonly trick-riding schools in the world.  For the next 15 years, she performed as a member of the Riata Ranch Cowboy Girls Western Performance Team and traveled across the US and beyond to countries like Australia, France, Mexico, Spain, and Norway wearing a Cowboy Hat and displaying trust and bravery on a fast running horse.  What began as a healthy hobby has evolved into a lifelong career as a professional horsewoman.https://www.circuscowgirl.com/https://www.facebook.com/circuscowgirlBecome a Patreon Member today! Get access to podcast bonus segments, ask questions to podcast guests, and even suggest future podcast guests while supporting Warwick: https://www.patreon.com/journeyonpodcastWarwick has over 650 Online Training Videos that are designed to create a relaxed, connected, and skilled equine partner. Start your horse training journey today!https://videos.warwickschiller.com/Check us out on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WarwickschillerfanpageWatch hundreds of free Youtube Videos: https://www.youtube.com/warwickschillerFollow us on Instagram: @warwickschiller

Bucket trap, a slow Carradine, and a flat-toothed Clark.

Text Me ImmediatelyWell I'm back to making trippy episodes for people to take drugs to.  I'll sprinkle those in between all the guest episodes.  I figure we'll do this until one format clearly wins out over the other or until the world ends.  Whichever comes first.  Support the Show.Go to hunchbunny.com to see all the hidden secrets!!!

Since this is still Revenge Month, the time has come for a one-Ryan episode about Revenge Of The Nerds. Yes, there are a few controversial scenes where our otherwise-lovable heroes strike back against mean-spirited football players...although what they do to the jocks' snobby cheerleader girlfriends is far worse. But this IS a tacky, sex comedy that was made 40 years ago. Robert Carradine and especially Anthony Edwards are fun and sweet, but it's Carradine's character who---more than once---crosses the line with Julia Montgomery. Still, it's easy to enjoy the spirit and the sincerity of MOST of Jeff Kanew's silly comedy. It's also hard to beat the joyous musical number during the talent show or that inspirational ending. So laugh your obnoxious laugh while you get loaded with your geeky frat brothers as Ryan takes a nostalgia trip to talk about the Tri-Lambs, the Omega-Mus and their tormenters in the 584th podcast you'll find on Have You Ever Seen. Sparkplug Coffee would be great to have in the kitchen of any frat house. Look up "sparkplug.coffee/hyes". You can take advantage of a onetime 20% discount by using our "HYES" discount code. Communicate with our dorky selves by sending an email (haveyoueverseenpodcast@gmail.com) or a Twi-X (@moviefiend51 and @bevellisellis). Bev goes by @bevellisellis on Threads too. And we always post our podcasts on YouTube later on the posting day. Our destination in your browser should be @hyesellis...or just go on YouTube and search for "Have You Ever Seen". We ask that you rate and review our talks. Subscribe to us. Comment as much as you like. And do all those things either on your app or on YouTube. Or maybe both.

The story so far: After getting trapped in a well in the middle of the woods without cell service, the boys try tunneling their way out, only to stumble on a secret underground bunker labeled "Moleman's Movie Hole" decorated and stocked like an 80s VHS rental store. After dealing with a bee attack and fixing their food shortage, they discover a magic box with a button that, when pressed, kills a random person somewhere in the world but materializes whatever item you're thinking about into the bunker...A week after discovering the magic box things in the movie hole are getting out of hand. While the guys wrestle with their new hoarding problem, they discuss 1989's dark drama Sonny Boy and, to lighten things back up a bit, revisit 1984's satire classic Top Secret! Also Greg has a green army man problem, Eric tells Boy Scouts stories, and Dan's surprised how ripped people could be in the 80's.Leave us a 30 second voicemail and if we like it we'll play it on the show: (949) 4-STABBY (949-478-2229)Next movie announced every Wednesday. New episodes every Monday. Follow us on the things: Linktree: https://www.linktr.ee/stabbystabbyInstagram:  @stabbypod  https://www.instagram.com/stabbypod/Letterboxd:   https://boxd.it/dp1ACMerch: https://www.big-other.com/shop/stabby-stabby

Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943), House of Frankenstein (1944), and House of Dracula (1945). Some say that the monster rally films marked the end of the Universal creature features, which could partially be true, but we feel it is for different reasons than the actual films themselves, and they still have a lot of merit to them. While the studio heads might not of cared too much about getting them made, those invovled did their best with what they had. One of the biggest highlights of these titles is the cast of actors in them, some making their last appearances. You get to see Karloff, Chaney Jr., Carradine, J. Carrol Naish, George Zucco, Lionel Atwill, Dwight Frye, and so many other regular faces that will bring a smile to your face when they pop up onscreen. While maybe running a little thin on ideas and decided to start combining monsters to hopefully bring back bigger box office returns, they still made films that we all still feel are entertaining and we feel are more than worth your time. Movies mentioned in this episode: Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948), Billy the Kid vs Dracula (1966), The Body Snatcher (1945), Dracula (1931), Frankenstein (1931), Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1942), Freddy vs Jason (2003), Ghost of Frankenstein (1942), House of Dracula (1945), House of Frankenstein (1944), The Invisible Man (1933), The Invisible Man Returns (1940), Man Made Monster (1941), A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), The Mummy's Hand (1940), Nocturna (1979), Of Mice and Men (1939), She-Wolf of London (1946), Son of Dracula (1943), Son of Frankenstein (1939), Son of Kong (1933), The Wolf Man (1941)  

Carradine-heads, assemble! This week the trash pals wallow in the 1990 sci-fi cyborg buddy cop western action comedy FUTURE ZONE! Want to watch exclusive Funhaus content? Click the link! https://www.youtube.com/funhaus/join or https://fun.haus/first Follow Us On Social: https://twitter.com/jameswillems https://twitter.com/handsomemaster2 Tshirts n stuff: https://store.roosterteeth.com/collections/funhaus Welcome to Funhaus, the internet's ONLY comedy, gaming, and variety channel since 2015! Trash for Trash is two filthy trashmen, who love watching trashy movies. Join them as they talk through some of the worst achievements in cinematic history. They're watching it so you don't have to. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week's episode, I have actress Paula Marshall (Euphoria, Walker, Gary Unmarried, and many many more) and we dive into the origins of his career. We also talk about how she dealt with being a new mom and working on a sitcom at the same time. There is so much more so make sure you tune in.Show NotesPaula Marshall on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepaulamarshall/?hl=enPaula Marshall IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005191/Paula Marshall on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paula_MarshallA Paper Orchestra on Website - https://michaeljamin.com/bookA Paper Orchestra on Audible - https://www.audible.com/ep/creator?source_code=PDTGBPD060314004R&irclickid=wsY0cWRTYxyPWQ32v63t0WpwUkHzByXJyROHz00&irgwc=1A Paper Orchestra on Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Audible-A-Paper-Orchestra/dp/B0CS5129X1/ref=sr_1_4?crid=19R6SSAJRS6TU&keywords=a+paper+orchestra&qid=1707342963&sprefix=a+paper+orchestra%2Caps%2C149&sr=8-4A Paper Orchestra on Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/203928260-a-paper-orchestraFree Writing Webinar - https://michaeljamin.com/op/webinar-registration/Michael's Online Screenwriting Course - https://michaeljamin.com/courseFree Screenwriting Lesson - https://michaeljamin.com/freeJoin My Newsletter - https://michaeljamin.com/newsletterAutogenerated TranscriptPaula Marshall:But a lot of parents, they go to jobs and then they come home or they don't work at all, and then it's just mom 100% and they're probably exhausted and happy. Some of my friends, I feel like they're like, I'm so glad. Finally I get to whatever. And either they're retiring and they get to go travel and like, no, I'm an actor. I'm looking for a gig, whatever. I don't think actors ever truly retire. I think we don't. I don't.Michael Jamin:You are listening to What the Hell is Michael Jamin talking about conversations and writing, art and creativity. Today's episode is brought to you by my debut collection of True Stories, a paper orchestra available in print, ebook and audiobook to purchase. And to support me on this podcast, please visit michael jamin.com/book and now on with the show.Welcome everyone. My next guest is actress Paula Marshall. She has been, I worked with her years ago on a show called Out of Practice, I think it was like 2005. But Paul, before I let you get a word in edgewise, I got to tell everyone, your credits are crazy long, so your intro may take a long time. So I'm going to just give you some of the highlights to remind you of your incredible body of work here. Really these are just the highlights. She works a ton. So well, let's see. I guess we could start with One Life To Live. That might've been your first one. Grapevine Life goes on. Wonder Years Seinfeld. I heard of that one. Perry Mason diagnosis. Murder Wild Oats. I'm skipping here. Nash Bridges. You did a couple Chicago Suns Spin. City Cupid Snoops Sports Night, the Weber Show. It doesn't end.Just shoot Me, which I worked on. I didn't even know you were on that. Maybe I wasn't there. Hitting Hills and Out of Practice, which we did together. Veronica Mars, nip Tuck, shark ca Fornication. You did a bunch of Gary Unmarried House friends with Benefits, the exes CSI, the Mentalist, two and a Half Men Murder in the First Major Crimes. What else have we got here? Goer Gibbons, I dunno what that is. You have to tell me what that is. And then Modern Family Euphoria. You did a bunch of them. Walker. Paula, I'm exhausted and I'm going to steal your joke here. You can because I'm going to say you're Paula Marshall, but you may know me as Carla Gina. That's what used to tell me CarlaPaula Marshall:And I know Carla,Michael Jamin:But knowPaula Marshall:She's like the younger version of me. Slightly shorter,Michael Jamin:Bigger, bigger. Boop. But you have done so much. I'm going to jump, I'm going to jump into the hardest part. I'm wondering if this is the hardest part for you is being a guest star on a show because you have to jump in with the cast, you have to know the rules and everything. Is that harder?Paula Marshall:Yes, a hundred percent. It's harder when I guest star on any shows, if I haven't seen the show, I watch three or four on YouTube just so I know who's who and the vibe and the energy. When I guest star on Modern Family I their last season and some could say I canceled the show by being there. I've been called a show killerMichael Jamin:Before. I remember You don't let Right.Paula Marshall:I still have not let that go. I like to say I've just worked on so many different shows at its peak and then it died anyway. It's hard because they're all in a flow and depending on the other actors, how cool they are to kind of throw the ball at you.Michael Jamin:But do you have to identify who's the alpha dog on set? Is that what your plan is? It'sPaula Marshall:Pretty clear right away. Really? Yeah. I mean besides whoever's first on the call sheet, I remember one of the producers of Snoop's, David Kelly's first big bomb. That was me.Michael Jamin:It was a sure thing what happened?Paula Marshall:You know what? I'm not sure. Well, when it was supposed to be a comedy quickly turned into a drama, it was not great. But as one of the producers of Snoop said, you don't fuck with the first person on the call sheet. You don't fuck with him. And so you identify that person and depending, it's funny because I've worked with so many great people and so many assholes too. Like David Deney. Damn, is he cool? He's so nice. When I worked on fornication with him, he set a tone for just the set, the crew, the actors, this freedom just to try things. And I remember during my, it was like the first day naked throwing up,Michael Jamin:Wait, were you nervous? Why were you throwing up?Paula Marshall:Hello? Of course. But IMichael Jamin:Remember you're never nervous, Paul, let me tell you who you were. I'm totally nervous. No, you're the most self-assured person probably I've ever worked with. You're very confident.Paula Marshall:Thank you. I'm actingMichael Jamin:Acting.Paula Marshall:But California occasion, it was my first day onset naked, fake fucking. And I remember standing there, it was yesterday, and either tweaking you and touching you up. And I say to everyone, what's amazing, what I'll do for $2,900 when a strike is pending? It was the writer's strike way back in the day. And I remember getting this part on fornication and I'm like to all the girls in the audition room, when we used to have auditions in rooms with other people, I looked around, I'm like, we're not going to really have to be naked. We're not those type of actresses. And they're like, no, no, no. And I'm like standing there. Yeah, yeah. I was naked.Michael Jamin:Was that your first time in a show being naked? I meanPaula Marshall:ToplessMichael Jamin:ShowPaula Marshall:On a show?Michael Jamin:Yes. Because you were in a model, I'm sure as a model, you're doing wardrobe changes all the time.Paula Marshall:I used to model. I was naked a few things back in the day.Michael Jamin:So were you really nervous about it? I mean, I imagine you would be, butPaula Marshall:Standing there naked is one thing. You just kind of have to dive in the pool, in the cold, cold pool and let it go because you got to put on the confident jacket, I guess I obviously wore a lot around you, but I mean it's more uncomfortable, the fake sex scenes, it's more technical and awkward. It's just but nervous. I dunno. Yeah, you're excited. But I'm also excited when I walk on stage on a sitcom before, if I'm not already in the set, when they start rolling, I'm backstage. How's my hair? Shit, how am I doing? Okay? I get hyped up until you do it once and people laugh and you're like, oh,Michael Jamin:Okay. Are you worried about going up on your lines at all? Is that at all you're thinking about?Paula Marshall:Yes, especially now. Oh shit, my memory. It's just that prevagen, I'm going to look it up later, but yeah, you do. But if you in a sitcom situation, we run it, we rehearse it all week. StillMichael Jamin:The lines are changing all week. That's all IPaula Marshall:Know. But they're changing all week. But then you run it and you drill it on TV shows like euphoria or whatever. Yeah, you run it. But then again, they don't really change the lines at all. But yeah, you were a little bit, but then you got a great script supervisor that you're like, I'm up. And then they say it and then you go back and you do it. But yeah, always, I'm always really nervous until maybe the second takeMichael Jamin:Of any, the hardest thing it seems to me is just like, okay, you're naked and you have to forget that there's all these people there. You havePaula Marshall:ToMichael Jamin:Completely, it's almost like you're crazy to have to be able to forget that,Paula Marshall:Michael, when you paid $2,900.That's right. I was shocked. That's all you get for being naked. Yeah, you do. You are nervous. But I don't know. I was 40 then, so I looked pretty good naked, although I only had four days notice. Back then we didn't have ozempic, so I was like, okay, I can't, no salt, no bread. And I remember in that shot that the camera guy, they decided in the moment, Hey, can you walk over to David? And then bent over, he's on the bed and then kiss him. I'm like, well, that depends. What's your lens there? You got there? And I'm like, how wide is your lens? And he looked at me and I'm like, I'm a photographer. I like taking pictures. So I know. And I'm like, so I'm going to bend over with my white ass and I had four days notice on this and my ass is just going to be in the pretty much. And you're like, okay, I could do it. But you hope for body makeup. I don't know. Don't you think I had any, I should have demanded bodyMichael Jamin:Makeup. And this was probably even before there were, what do they call them now? IntimacyPaula Marshall:Coordinators?Michael Jamin:Yes. Right.Paula Marshall:I mean, here's the thing. I guess it helps when you're not a loud mouth person like me. And even then it's hard to go, Hey dude, keep your tongue in your mouth. You don't want it in your mouth. Sometimes you're like, damn. He's a great kisser. Jason Bateman, I enjoyed the tongue in my mouth. SoMichael Jamin:It kind of dependsPaula Marshall:On who's sticking in the tongue. But the intimacy coordinator, I think it's just so people know what's going to kind of happen and get it. But California case, no, we didn't have that. This movie I was naked on with Peter Weller called The New Age. No, I remember in the middle of the scene, I'm on the bed and he's looking down at me and during one take he decides to suck on my nipple. Shocking. I turned bright red, which is what I do when I get nervous. And I'm like, dude, what are you doing? He goes, I dunno, I just thought it'd be fun. I'm like, okay. And I don't think they used it, but if there was an intimacy coordinator back then, I probably would've known.Michael Jamin:Yeah. So it'sPaula Marshall:Good I guess. But it's corny and you feel silly.Michael Jamin:Oh my God, I'm glad you mentioned the photography thing. That was one of my memories from working together and out of practice. This was before people had camera phones and cell phones and you carried a camera everywhere. And I remember thinking, you're the star of a sitcom. You're the star. I mean, you're an artist doing her craft, and yet it's still not enough that you wanted to work on something. You wanted to do something else as well.Paula Marshall:Maybe it's my parents growing up, they always had these really cool black and white pictures of them. And I used to look at them and go, wow, that was your life then. And it was hard to even imagine when they were so young. And so it's like photos are life to me. And I guess I don't want to forget the moments of my life that are important. And so I always would bring a camera with me on set, on location more than sitcom stages aren't as conducive to really cool shots. But yeah, I like capturing life.Michael Jamin:And you're still doing it on 35Paula Marshall:Millimeter? I still do it, although I did give in and I have a digital now because it's easier. It's easier. Develop film.Michael Jamin:Many. You took my headshot from me and for many years I way too long. I used that as my headshot.Paula Marshall:Yeah, it was good. I rememberMichael Jamin:It was great. And I wore Danny's shirt, you go, yeah, put this on. You look terrible. Whatever I was wearing, stillPaula Marshall:Do that. People still come over my friends and I'm like, you need a headshot. Put Danny's shirt on. He has some nice shirts.Michael Jamin:It's so funny.Paula Marshall:Yeah, I do. I still like taking pictures.Michael Jamin:I got to share another memory I had from out of practice, which I cherish this one. So it was right before it was show night for some reason. I don't know why. I had to run up pages to the cast. And maybe you were in the green room or you were somewhere upstairs. I don't know what the hell dressing. I don't know what was going on. I knock on the door and all of you we're standing in a circle holding hands. And Henry goes, Michael, you're just in inside. Come on in. And then I go in time for what? And then he tapped. This blew my, I love this memory. And you guys were just like, I don't know what you would call it, but you were invoking a good show to be supportive of each other and to be brave and true. And I was like, I can't believe I felt so honored that I was included in, I was like, are you serious,Paula Marshall:Henry? I actually forgot that memory and thank you for reminding me of it. Henry's just, he's something special.Michael Jamin:He is.Paula Marshall:I know there's rumors. Oh, who's the nicest guy in Hollywood? Henry Winkler. It's because it is, is I could text him right now and he would literally text me. Within eight minutes he will text me back. Oh, Paula, it's been so, he's just a dear. And so he is, again, back to the, when you go on set and who creates that energy? Although Chris Gorham, I think was the first on the call sheet, not Henry Winkler, but Henry was our dad. I mean, he was such a pro and yeah, he just created this lovely energy there.Michael Jamin:Yeah. Oh wow. So that's not common then for other shows that you've worked on. People don't do that. That's not a theater thing. It seems like a theater thingPaula Marshall:You would think. I think, I don't know, maybe it was a happy days thing.Michael Jamin:Why don't you start it on your next show? Why don't you start doingPaula Marshall:It? I think I might. I'm going to make it now.Michael Jamin:I thought it was so interesting. I was like, wow. But it's getting back to that first point, even the first, the first person on the call sheet technically is the head cheese. But they might not be the most difficult by far at all. I mean, you don't know who's the boss. That's true, right?Paula Marshall:I mean sometimes the and character is an asshole. I mean, I think mostly people when they don't really want to be there, they kind of rebel. I've always wanted to be on a sitcom. IMichael Jamin:Remember. Did that change? Oh, go ahead, please.Paula Marshall:I just remember, I believe my first sitcom was Seinfeld. I may have done a guest spot on some other one that maybe never aired or I can't remember. Or maybe I just think it's cooler to say my first sitcom was Seinfeld. I'm not sure. But that show, I don't know. There's a magic. But they didn't do any of that either. But they kind of really invited me in and I dunno, I'm just thinking,Michael Jamin:Do you prefer to do sitcoms, multi-camera sitcoms? Yes. Yes. Because the audience.Paula Marshall:Because the audience, because it's a high, I've never gotten anywhere else in my life. Not that I need to be high, but damn. When you go out and you make people laugh with a look or a line or a physical movement, I mean it's magic. And working with the actor, knowing more like theater, which by the way, I've never doneMichael Jamin:Well, why don't you do theater then?Paula Marshall:I don't know. I don't know. I'll call my agent another thing I'll write down.Michael Jamin:Yeah, do that.Paula Marshall:But probably only if it's a comedy. But it's that magic that you don't have to go and do another take and then they turn around and then you got a close up again. I mean, it's boring. Like our television, there's no magic in itMichael Jamin:Ever.Paula Marshall:Except on euphoria. I have to say there's magic there.Michael Jamin:Why do you say that?Paula Marshall:Because the writing directing the story level of, I mean, when Marsha is my character, when Marsha actually had a couple things to say. I remember I called or I spoke with Sam Levinson and I was like, dude, it's me, right? You wrote an eight page monologue almost for Marsha to say. And he goes, yeah, I can't wait to see it. And I'm like, oh my God. I was so nervous. I studied for three weeks. There was no rewrites. And then it's me and Jacob all Lorde on set. And we get there and there's no rush, there's no limitation. There's just like, what do you want to do? And he's like, I kind of feel like you're doing this and then you're doing the cookies and a lot of movement. But we did it until it felt good, and then we knew it, and there was a magic there. No one's laughing at me. But there's something special about that show. I mean, I've heard rumors like, oh, and on set. And I'm like, ah, not for me. Not for me at all. Not for you. No, it's amazing.Michael Jamin:What do you do though? When you're on set and you have an idea how you want to play or speech, how you want to deliver speech, and your scene partner is just on doing something completely fucking different. How do you handle that?Paula Marshall:If you know, don't have a say, meaning you're a guest, darn. You do what they tell you to. How high do you want me to jump? That's what you do. But if you're working together and you're equal parties, you probably have run it before. But I would say if they're not doing something that I want, then I use it and I am frustrated in the scene, or I just use whatever they're giving me because that's all I got. And I try to put that into my character.Michael Jamin:How much training have you had though? That's very actor speak.Paula Marshall:It really did sound a little actory, and IMichael Jamin:Apologize for that. No, it's good. I like it.Paula Marshall:I mean, I don't know. I lived in New York City and I took acting class with this guy named Tony Aon and Jennifer Aniston was in my class and Oh wow.Just a bunch of young people, but not all that much. Not all that much. I think the comedy thing, I didn't even know I was funny with Seinfeld, the guest stars aren't usually funny in sitcoms. The lead, the main characters, the stars of the show are funny guest stars just kind of throw the ball and you know what I mean? But something happened after I was on Seinfeld and then I read for, I guess it was Wild Oats, which was with Paul Rudd and Jan Marie hpp. And Tim Conlin. It was a sitcom on Fox. It was the same year that another show called Friends was coming out. And I remember them. Someone was interviewing us saying, oh, there's another show that NBC is doing with a group of friends. It's kind of like yours. And we're all friends. What's that cut to?And ours was canceled after one season, but I think the first time I was like, oh shit, I can do this. I know how to deliver a joke. But I never learned that again. It just happened one year in pilot season just kind of happened. And my agents were like, oh, Paul is funny. Okay. And then one time I remember I read for a pilot, after you do so many comedies, then people go, well, she's a comedic actress, she can't do drama. And then you're like, the fuck. Of course I could do drama. I remember one time during this callback, no original, just the first audition. And I had heard the casting director doesn't think or only thinks you're funny, doesn't think you're as good. Dramatic. Wow.Michael Jamin:Obviously if you could do comedy, you could do drama.Paula Marshall:No, you would think it's the other way around. It never works. It is really hard to doMichael Jamin:Comedy.Paula Marshall:But literally, I was like, well, I'm so angry that she thinks I can't. Finally, they couldn't find this girl, the character for the pilot. And then they finally, okay, Paula, we'll see her. So I get in there, and it was Davis Guggenheim was the director. I love Davis. After I read, I think it was three scenes. And during the last scene, I broke down and I was in tears over something and I look up with, you couldn't have placed the tear better. And I look up and I ended the scene and Davis goes, my god, Paula Marshall, you are one fine actress. And I do this. I look at the casting drifter and I go, you see, I'm not just funny. And I grabbed my bag and I walked out and I go, well, I just fucked myself for any future director again. There was something that came over me and I was like, I need you to know that I am not just one thing or the other. And then Davis probably three weeks later, texts me, I've been fighting every day for you. And I'm like, what are you talking about when you get these weird texts from people? I'm like, did I get the part? I got the part and they didn't want to see me.Michael Jamin:It's so interesting. I mean, obviously you're a working actor, you work a lot. You're successful, and yet you still feel like you're placed in this box and you have to prove yourself and get out of it.Paula Marshall:But there's something I really love about, there's part of me that I want to read, and I want everyone to look at that tape and go, fuck, I wish we could hire her. I wish there weren't the limitations and we didn't have to pick Carla at you now or whatever. I wish we could pick Paula. I want them to go, fuck man. She was really good. I want to stick in their brain. I always would cancel auditions if I wasn't ready for it. If I really knew I wasn't going to kill it, I wouldn't go, or I won't put myself on tape. I don't have enough time to prepare for it because that's the last thing they see of you.Michael Jamin:IPaula Marshall:Want it to be the best thing they see of me. So I only want to leave them with that because they're not going to remember that other stuff.Michael Jamin:That's a good point though. Are you doing a lot of self tape now? Is there anything in person?Paula Marshall:I have not had any auditions in person yet. Wow. Her actress ever Carradine. I think she's had her third one, and she always posts about it. She's so cute. And I think she booked one. No, I have a room now in my house. It's the tape room. And I've got a nice beauty light and I've got the tripod again. It's kind of easy for me because I have photography stuff.Michael Jamin:But who are you acting again or does Danny help you out?Paula Marshall:Well, Danny will sometimes read with me. My daughter would read with me. And sometimes when I'm all by myself, I read with myself. I will have a tape of the other voice, which is, or sometimes I leave space and then I put the audio in later. I mean, it's crazy the stuff that happens during Covid. We've got very creative over here.Michael Jamin:But in some ways though, because this sometimes a casting director is like, yeah, yeah, there couldn't be more wooden. And so in some ways it's got to be easier for you, right?Paula Marshall:Yes and no. Yes, because I get to pick the take I want,Michael Jamin:Right?Paula Marshall:Two, because two, I didn't even say one a b, I don't get nervous, so there's no nerves to hold me back or Oh man, I should have done it. Or I mess up. I just do another take. But then there's also, there's something about going in and being vulnerable in front of all those people and showing them what you can do. And especially in a comedy, I, it was like a zoom callback for a comedy. And I live in the hills and maybe it was the wifi or that slight timing was off just enough or the reader wasn't funny and I'm trying to connect with this dot. It was hard. There was no magic in it and you couldn't feel the other person. And so I think in a way, it's good in a way. It's really not good. So I'm willing to do whatever to get anything because I pay for college.Michael Jamin:But also, there's also the fact the to drive across town, I mean, that's got to get old, right? Driving everywhere.Paula Marshall:But when you're an actor, everything stops. You get a script, everything stops. You're not making dinner, you're not going out, you're not watching that movie or the show. You drop everything and then you focus on it. And hopefully, thankfully, because of the strike and the new negotiations that they got for us, I think we don't have to do a self tape over the weekend. We need to have enough time to actually prepare for it, which is amazing. Most of the time. Gary unmarried, I think I got the audition at eight o'clock in the morning. It was to meet producers at 11 o'clock the next day. And you're like, ah, okay, here I go. It's really hard to put all that energy and to them something great. And I never understand why you're casting people or producers. Don't give us more time because we want to give you something great. We don't want to go in there and read. I don't. I want to perform for you. And it's hard to do when I don't have enough time to do it. I also have a life, so I have other things, but you kind of do. You really drop it. You drop everything for an audition.Michael Jamin:It's interesting though. I want to get touched on something you said. You said it's hard to be vulnerable on camera, but then you said comedy, and do you feel like it's harder to be vulnerable? Because when I think of vulnerable, I think drama, not comedy.Paula Marshall:Yes. But there's nothing funnier. I remember my husband in many situations will say, I'll be upset or crying and I'll say something really funny, but humor comes out of the reality, like your honest to goodness, open soul, like your heart. The funniest stuff I think comes out of me when I'm in a vulnerable position, if I'm angry, if I'm sad when I'm just feeling whatever. So I don't know. I think in many sitcoms I've cried. And how do youMichael Jamin:Get past that though? How do you get past that vulnerability thing? I mean, are you a hundred percent past it or is there any reservations?Paula Marshall:Ask that again. Sorry.Michael Jamin:Very clear saying, well, when you're vulnerable on camera or trying to be, can you go, I don't know. Is there a limit to your vulnerability, do you think on camera or are you willing to go there all the time? As much, as far as you want?Paula Marshall:I guess so most of the time it depends on how much tears you have. And I usually, if the writing is good, and that's the big if this thing that I ended up booking with Davis Guggenheim, it was with John Corbett, and I had to cry and it was maybe like a steady cam up the stairs and going, and I break down and I crumbled to my knees, and I swear to God, I did it. Maybe 17 takes. And then we come around and turn around on him and I end up crying again. And John, after we, they yelled cut, he goes, Paula, what are you doing? Why are you crying again? I go, I don't know. The words are making me cry. I'm just tapped in doing it. They wipe it away. But you got to be careful because I'm vain and you got to look like you're not crying, and I'm really crying.So I get red and my eyes get bloodshot. You look different and the snot and you got to fix the whatever, makeup. But no, but when it's great, when the writing is great, of course, usually you don't have to do it. 17 takes, it was just had a lot to do with the steady cam and whatever. But usually you do it in three takes and you nail it and it's good, and they're like, wow, that was great. Let's move on. So you don't really have to in a movie, if you nail it, you nail it and they move on.Michael Jamin:What do you do though when you're in it and you feel like you're slipping out of it?Paula Marshall:Okay, so that when I drink this, soI have at least one of those before every tape night, I've always drink a Coke. If I can't, the writing isn't talking to me. If I can't relate to it, I do that substitute thing. If I have to cry, and this is really not making me cry, the subject and the words I substitute for something else that makes me cry. I'm a freakishly emotional person. I cry a lot. I'm very sensitive. You wouldn't really think that because kind of like Danny calls me bottom line, Marshall, and I'm very tough and whatever and no nonsense. And I say it like it is, and I will always tell you if you look fat in that dress, I like to be honest, but I don't know.Michael Jamin:But is there a moment where you feel like you're okay? You're on, you're giving a speech, you're in a scene, and then you're like, oh, I'm acting now.Paula Marshall:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, every once in a while, I mean, I'll finish the scene. I don't want to stop myself. They might like it and for whatever reason, but I'll always say, can I have another one? Can I please have another one? Or Oh my gosh, I really like the second take. Just can you make a note of that, that the second take was much better. They know it's obvious when you see someone telling the truth, it's obvious which one is better, but you can't just tell the truth once and then move on because you don't know. Maybe there was a sound issue on that take. No. So it's tricky. Every once in a while you think you have it. The crappy thing is when they come around to you or they start on you and then you finally figure something out. I remember Bette Midler, we were doing the scene and they were on us first.It was a movie, I guess Danny and I did the scene together and it was bet opposite on a table. And they go to her, they turn the camera on her, and then she goes, oh, I just figured it out. We're like, no, the opposite. We did her first. Forgive me. We did her first and then they came on us. And then she goes, oh, I just figured out the scene. Can I do it again? And Carl Reiner's like, no, we got to move. No, we're out of here. So sometimes it takes a while to figure it all out, and she just thought she didn't nail it. It's Bette Midler. She nails every take all the timeMichael Jamin:You are listening to, what the Hell is Michael Jamin talking about? Today's episode is brought to you by my new book, A Paper Orchestra, A collection of True Stories. John Mayer says, it's fantastic. It's multi timal. It runs all levels of the pyramid at the same time. His knockout punches are stinging, sincerity, and Kirks Review says, those who appreciate the power of simple stories to tell us about human nature or who are bewitched by a storyteller who has mastered his craft, will find a delightful collection of vignettes, a lovely anthology that strikes a perfect balance between humor and poignancy. So my podcast is not advertiser supported. I'm not running ads here. So if you'd like to support me or the podcast, check out my book, go get an ebook or a paperback, or if you really want to treat yourself, check out the audio book. Go to michael jamin.com/book. And now back to our show.Do you have these conversations with them? Do you have conversations with actors with more experience and I don't know, are you still trying to learn from them?Paula Marshall:I just pay attention to what they're doing. I don't think I pick their brains like that, but I just watch them and I watch and I seeMichael Jamin:What are you looking for?Paula Marshall:Well, sometimes technically how they do it. I remember my first movie, Hellraiser three, I learned a lot about continuity,Which is something they don't really teach in acting class. If I'm going to play my drink up and sip it, I have to do that every single time. If I'm going to eat in the scene, I got to do it every single time, and I have to figure that out. And you have to really, if you're really going to eat, you got to really eat. Not teeny little bites, make your choice. But I learned things from different people. I remember Robert Duvall, I played his daughter in a movie and he would act and he kept going until his body knew it was over. And I remember the director had yelled cut at one point and he got really mad. He goes, I wasn't done, but he had finished talking. And he goes, I'm still acting here. It's like, I'm still walking here. But it was like, I'm still acting.I'm still doing, there's still so much more there. I observe and I see how they deal with issues and problems in their focus. ISHKA Harte guest star on that show of hers, and we auditioned a lot in the beginning. We came up at the same time and just everything was so serious to her. She really so passionate about her show and she threw away nothing. It was really kind of impressive after a hundred seasons now that she cared so much because some people after four Seasons, they're like ready to go. They're like, I got a movie down, I'm ready to go. But there's certain people like Maka who from day one till again, I think it's 25 seasons or 24 or something crazy. I remember when I worked with her and I hadn't seen her in 15 years or something, I just am like, God, how rich is she? And so instead I was like, tacky. I'm not going to say that. So again, I walk up to her and it was emotional that we hadn't seen each other in so long. I hugged her and I said, how big is your house? She goes, I can't complain.Michael Jamin:I'm like,Paula Marshall:But she's very passionate and so many actors are, and then there's some who are not and who are ready to goMichael Jamin:And who are they? Not names, but why are they there? Are they just rock stars who became actors? You don't know. It just falls into a job like that.Paula Marshall:There was one person and he just seemed really angry all the time. I don't think he was just a happy person. If you don't like doing this, I'm not sure why you're doing it. I don't know. There's just something inside you. I mean, this is the greatest thing ever to be paid to do what you love. And again, when my daughter said she wanted to be an actress, an actor, sorry, I was so happy. I was like, that's where I found joy in my life. I grew up in Rockville, Maryland, and I didn't know anybody, and I just watched the Mary Tyler Moore show, and I went, yep, that's what I want.How do I do that? I had no idea, none. And to find joy there. So when a person is coming to set and they're angry, it could be, they don't like the words actors are very particular about. If your dialogue is not great, it's really hard. It's so much easier when you have great dialogue and the scene makes sense and the relationships you buy them. It's so easy to do it. It's effortless and it's so real and it's so honest. And then when you've got this other stuff and you have to say the name of the person to remember that it's very cookie cutter network television, which you would think at this point would look at streaming and go, yeah, there's always something right over there because the quality is just beyond Well,Michael Jamin:How did you figure it out then? Okay, you're in Maryland. How did you figure out you stopped in New York first. What was that about?Paula Marshall:Did I moved to New York? I modeled in Georgetown as a local model there, doing little ads for Montgomery reward. And I didn't really want to go to college. My parents didn't make me go to college. I think I had two grand in my pocket from doing things here and there. I started doing commercials locally. And this woman by the name of Jay Sumner, who was the booker at this modeling agency called Panache, she said, we were at Champions. It was a bar called Champions. And though how I was there drinking at the bar, I don't know, I think I was 18. She said, Paula, you're so much more interesting in person than you are in a piece of paper, meaning I'm pretty, I'm good enough on paper, but you're so much more interesting in real life. And she goes, I think you should be an actress.And I'm like, okay, really? And I'm like, well, I always used to watch Mary Taylor Moore and all of that, but I'm from Maryland, how am I going to do? And she goes, I know somebody. I know someone in New York named Dian Littlefield, who's a manager, and I can set you up with a meeting. I'm like, what? So I ended up moving to New York City. Modeling was my waitressing job. I got a lot of money. It didn't take a lot of time. It was really easy. I love photography. So there was that connection that I wasn't just sitting there like an idiot with bathing suits or lingerie or junior wardrobe or whatever. So that was kind of my waitressing job to allow me to pay for rent and acting classes. And then I was like, you know what? I think I really like it. It's true. Just a piece of paper. And it's funny, I love taking pictures. I love stopping life, but there was just, I guess more to me than just the piece of paper. So I guess that's kind of how it happened.Michael Jamin:How did LA happen then?Paula Marshall:So I would audition test for a lot of things. I would fly to LA for different pilot projects. I would read in New York, and then most of the things were shooting in la, not New York at all back then. So I would fly to LA and I think it was just one of my agents said, look, Paul, if you really want to do this, you got to live in la,Michael Jamin:Right?Paula Marshall:I was like, ah, okay. So I moved to LA and yeah, and I was young and 20, I think I was 25 when I moved here, kind of old to kind of start, but I looked really young. And when you read for enough things and enough people are interested, the head of my agency said to me after a pilot, I, or I tested for something and I didn't get it. And he told me back when we didn't have computers, we had to go pick up our scripts and there would be a box outside the script, their office, after hours, he would look through and go, these are my scripts. In the middle envelopes, it says Paula Marshall on it. Anyway, I was kind of sad and I'm like, I don't know. I'm not booking anything. And he goes, but you're testing a lot. You're very close. And I'm like, what does it take? What am I lacking? What am I missing that I'm not booking the thing? He goes, I believe in you and you need to keep doing this. And then I did. I slowly would start booking things.Michael Jamin:What were you lacking? Do you know?Paula Marshall:Maybe it was the confidence, maybe I was really nervous. I remember one time, I think it was during the Flash, it was a pilot called The Flash with John Wesley ship, and Amanda pays Amanda Paynes. Anyway, ended up booking it. But I remember in the audition room, I think it was at NBC or I don't know, one of the big three, the scene, I put my hand on my knee and I was shaking so much from being nervous that I was like, oh, stop doing that. I don't want them to know. I'm nervous because they want everyone to be fearless and confident.And I get that because it takes a lot to go stand in front of a bunch of people and say stuff over and over, or stand there and be naked and do it over and over. There's got to be part of you that's kind of cocky and confident, and not that you think that you could do that over and over with someone else's words. I mean, it's kind of crazy that I do this, but I don't know what tipped me over the scale. I never gave up. And I kept doing it and trying to figure it out and asking and asking the casting directors, and they always say nice things. They never say, well, you messed this thing. No, it's just there's a magic. If I don't book something now, I don't take it personally. Someone else just had a little bit more magic that day, and they tapped into the character and the writer saw that person that they wrote down and spent so many hours writing that Blonde Girl or Carla Gino just got it better than I did. Okay. IMichael Jamin:Know. To me, one of the hardest parts of acting, aside from the acting part is the fact that you really don't, don't have agency over your, you have to wait often. You have to wait. So what do you do in that time?Paula Marshall:Well, you find hobbies. I learned very early on to save money. You live under your means. So even if you get a gig and you're the lead in a show, you're making a lot of money per week. And like me, most of the shows, they did not go more than a season. So you have to take that and live under your means, and you can't spend money and buy fancy things. I invested my money in my house, I think maybe three or four houses now. I try to invest my money and I fill my days with other things.Michael Jamin:Do you stress about it at all or no?Paula Marshall:Yeah. Yeah. I think in the beginning, early on I was very busy all the time. There wasn't a lull. And when you do have a job on, if you're a series regular on a show, you love your weekends, you love your time off. If you're working crazy hours sitcom's, not crazy hours, you know that those areMichael Jamin:Great for writers.Paula Marshall:I mean, yes, that's true, but if you're a director, Jimmy Burroughs would be like, I got a tea time at three 30. We got to get out of here. It's a dream. And maybe that's why I love the sitcom so much, because you got to to act and have a real life. When I had my daughter, I remember going, how would I be a mom and work on a single camera show? I would never see the kid. So when I was pregnant or when I read for Out of practice, I had just had my daughter a week before I went in to test for the show over at CBS. There was a script on my doorstep when I brought her up on the baby thing. And I'm like, I'm a mom and oh, right, I'm an actress and I'm 20 pounds overweight. And oh, I thought I was going to push the, I'm not going to work for a year button.That was the plan. Then I saw the script and I read it and I'm like, oh man, it's a sitcom. I'm not going to work very many hours. I'm going to work three weeks on one week off. I'm like, maybe I'll just do it. Maybe I'll just read for it and we'll see. And I really liked it. I really liked the character. And then when I got it, I was like, oh shit, I don't even have a nanny. How do I do this? So Danny went with me tape night. He was my nanny. I remember them going home because the baby, they were cool. Once we got picked up, they allowed me to have a little trailer outside for my nanny, Mariella and Maya, and I was breastfeeding at the time. She was just born. And it allowed me to do that. And I remember Henry, Henry Winkler still was like, how's Maya? And it was just a great thing. I had my baby. You couldn't ask for a better job for a mom. I was living my dream and I was having a baby when I was 40 years old.Sitcom is the greatest thing in the world, and I'm still trying to get back on one. There's just not that many of them now. It's really sad. Multicam, I've written like three of them. Speaking of writing. Yeah, go on. The writer. So I remember, I think it was when the pilot that I did with John Corbett, when I cried 17 takes in a row, when that didn't get picked up, I remember I was dropping off my daughter at elementary school and Dave Grohl, yes, that Dave Grohl sees me. And I had just found out that the pilot wasn't picked up. It's called Murder in the First, no, sorry, different thing called something different. That was another show that I did. But anyway, so Dave Girl's like Paula Marshall, what's up? You look sad. And I'm like, oh, another pilot wasn't picked up. It just sucks.And he goes, Paula, when either his studio or something, they didn't like the music or whatever, and he goes, you know what? I did put his arm around me. We're walking down that hallway. And he goes, I just did it myself. I got this set up and I just did it myself. And he goes, you should do it yourself. Why don't you write something? And I'm like, yeah, why don't I? And I'm like, well, because one, I'm not a writer, but he goes, who cares? So because of Dave Grohl, that opened the door to getting ideas out, writing something for me. One thing actually, I mean it went kind of far an idea went very far that I ended up producing with Paul Riser and Betsy Thomas wrote it. This was a little bit before, but it's an outlet for me. I'm still not great at Final Draft. I'm still like, oh, how do I get the thing and the thing and the page? I can't even figure it out half the time. So I've written a few sitcoms, mostly from my point of view, because I want the job, because I wantMichael Jamin:To. So you wrote a single camera sitcom and then you showed it to Paul, and thenPaula Marshall:What happened? The Paul and Betsy one, I met Paul's, I believe his name was Alex, but I can't really remember. I met this guy at a wedding and he was like, oh, you're really funny and blah, blah, blah. I'm a big fan. I'm like, oh, that's nice. Thank you very much. And he goes, do you have any ideas? Do you write? And I go, no, I don't write. I go, I have this idea for a show. And he goes, really? Why don't you come pitch it to me? And my partner? I'm like, great. Okay. He goes, Hollywood. I'm like, who's your partner? He goes, who's your partner? And he goes, Paul Riser. I'm like, what? Okay. So I literally got his number and I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to go meet with Paul Riser. I go meet with Paul Riser. I give him my pitch.He really liked it. And he goes, I like it. I think let's do it. Let's work together. I was like, you couldn't have given me anything that would've made me happier than the fact that Paul Riser liked an idea of mine. It's almost like when I made Diane Keaton laugh in an audition. I literally called my agents and I was like, I'm good. I could die now. So the Paul Riser thing, it was just my idea. I had a lot of say. So I got to produce, I got to make a lot of decisions. It was probably one of theMichael Jamin:Greatest. So you shot it then.Paula Marshall:So we shot it and it wasn't picked up, butMichael Jamin:You sold it to a studio.Paula Marshall:All of them wanted it. This is great. Everyone but Fox, wow.Michael Jamin:Wanted it. That's amazing.Paula Marshall:It was crazy. But you have Paul Riser, I matter your stuff, but when you have someone like a Paul Riser or someone who is respected in Hollywood and has produced before, of course people are going to give them a shot,Michael Jamin:But not necessarily. I mean, they must've really liked it. So you wrote it and you started it?Paula Marshall:I started in it. It was my idea, but I did not write it. Later on, I ended up writing things and pitching, and a lot of people like my stuff, but I really mean should go out a little more aggressively than I do. But I have one right now that we're kind of sending around me and my buddy Jeff Melnick, that he really likes this story. And it was, I won't tell you what it is,Michael Jamin:But that's not nothing. I mean, that's a big achievement, honestly,Paula Marshall:For me. Yeah, I don't write. I still am a terrible speller. I have a reading disorder. I've got this thing where reading is hard for me because the font and the text is very contrasty, so I'm a terrible speller. Thank God for spell check, because otherwise,Michael Jamin:Well, so you're working on another piece for yourself as well then? Yes. I'm impressed.Paula Marshall:I have about three scripts that I've worked on here and there, and I remember I thought, oh, well, this is when I'm going to kill it. I'm going to knock these things out. I'm What happened with Covid? We were so scared. And my daughter was home going to now, whatever, ninth grade or 10th grade. And so it became, that whole time became about helping her find joy. I always said, every day, I'm going to help her get through this. And I really pushed all my stuff back. Any good mom does let everyone eat before you eat. Maybe the way I grew up. So I took care of her and all of that stuff before I focused on me. And then she went to college this year, and you would still think I'm like, Paula, I got to finish these things, which I did. I'm back. I'm back doing it, and I like it. I really like it. There's something about the story, but no one ever taught me to write. So I'm writing from my experience, the years of reading sitcom scripts, IMichael Jamin:HavePaula Marshall:'em in my closet. I have almost every single script, especially the ones that I loved, and I go back to it and I refer back. I'm like, how did they do this? Even setting it up, I'll go back and sneak a peek.Michael Jamin:That's really smart. Was it hard for you when she left the house?Paula Marshall:Jesus. Oh, here's the thing.Michael Jamin:Yeah, make up touching upPaula Marshall:Makeup breakMichael Jamin:Last looks.Paula Marshall:I mean, because she's not in Boston,She's down the road. It feels like if something bad happened, I could be there. I don't have to get on a plane and only one direct flight. There's one school in Connecticut that she got into, and it was a great school, and there's one direct flight at 6:00 AM I'm like, this is never going to happen. And she chose, I was like, whatever you want, wherever you want to go to college, it's your decision. I mean, I'll tell you what I, but it's all up to you. And she chose and it was something that's not too far away. And it's great. I get to see her and it's worked out. It's a win.Michael Jamin:What about the emptiness of the house? I'm going to make you cry now. That's what I feel like. The house is so empty. YouPaula Marshall:Know what? And I think though, Michael, I think if she was in anywhere else, I think if I couldn't get to her, and that's a weird thing as a mom, it's about protecting your child. But yeah, I could cry when I think about certain things. Thanks, Michael. It's about protecting them. And I think that the distance, because we are close, she's still in. She's still here. I don't like cooking dinner as much. I'm sorry, Danny, because I don't really have to. The big change is just her presence, her energy, the thought about, well, what's Maya doing? Or what does she got to do? Now it's not, and one of my scripts is, well, I'll tell you one of my scripts is about what happens when your kid goes away to college? What happens to a woman?Michael Jamin:And go ahead. Can you tell me a little bit?Paula Marshall:So it started a while ago, just like my fear of who am I? What do I do? I mean, yes, I'm an actress, but then I pulled from that and I'm like, well, if I'm not an actress and I don't have a job and everything has been bombed, there's so many places to go. Okay, you've just got to, it's like reinventing yourself, which almost every mom that I know who doesn't have a job, it's very true. I was so fortunate that I could have my cake, my baby, and also work. But a lot of parents, they go to jobs and then they come home and or they don't work at all. And then it's just mom, 100%. And they're probably exhausted and happy. Some of my friends, I feel like they're like, oh, I'm so glad. Finally I get to whatever. And either they're retiring and they get to go travel, and I'm like, no, I'm an actor. I'm looking for a gig, whatever. I don't think actors ever truly retire. I think we don't do.Michael Jamin:I guess it depends on how much you love it and how much it must come on. It's got a wear on you. The downs have to be, I don't know.Paula Marshall:Well, I think probably just like a writer,You have to be able to fill your day when you're not going to be working and making money again. It's why it's smart to save your money and invest it and not buy that fricking mansion. If you got that check. Remember one time I went to the bank and I was depositing, it was before they had the picture phone deposits, a really big check. And it was the biggest check I think I've ever gotten. The first time I got that kind of money on a show and the teller, and again, I looked very young, the teller who didn't look much older than me and took the check,And he looked at the check and he looked at me and he goes, what do you do? What do you do? And I laughed. I go, I'm an actor. I go, but trust me, this thing, this isn't forever. I know it's not forever. So I have to live my life. It's not forever. Because my goal is I never want to lose my house. I always want to be able to afford things. You hear these horror stories about these, you think you got it, and then it shows canceled, and then you can't do that. I've always been kind of smart when it comes to money, but it's hard. It's really hard. WeMichael Jamin:Spoke a little about this because your daughter's interested in acting and you were, this is before we started taping, and what's your advice for her?Paula Marshall:My advice is find a way to tap in and find the truth in anything. And if you can't, then again, you substitute. If it's not connecting, you got to figure out a way to connect to it. It's about being truthful In imaginary circumstances, it's really hard to walk into a room and pretend the thing and crying. You just really have to practice going there. I remember one time, and even in my life, life situations, I will take note of them. One time I was in San Francisco drunker than I've ever been before for whatever reason. And I remember the hotel I was, I think it was during Nash Bridges, and I was like, oh, I'm so wasted. I want to remember what I look like when I'm this wasted. So I, my, I guess I did have a cell phone then. So I took my cell phone or my camera, no cell phone, and I recorded myself being drunk.And it's like that one actor, he would always, Michael, he's an English guy, Michael, I forget his name. He would be like, you can't overdo the acting, but you're trying not to be drunk. Yes. To try to make sure that the words are coming out. And so that's what I did. I literally was like, this is me talking at my, it was the craziest thing. So in life, take advantage again, back to the advice to my daughter. Live these experiences and remember them. And if you cry, if you're sensitive and emotional, fucking use it. There's plenty of people who can't cry at the drop of a hat. I can cry. You give me something to people always know Paula can cry in a scene and even if I don't connect to it again, I substitute and I find a way. I'm an emotional person and the thing I think I have trouble doing is the angry part.I'm not great at being super angry. I don't think I play a lot of those roles like I was doing, I've worked with Steven Weber on his new Chicago Med. I was going to say new show, it is like year nine, but I play his ex-wife. I think it's airing tomorrow as a matter of fact. And there was a scene where I had to come in and I'm yelling at him and I'm like, God, this is so not me. I'm not a yeller. I don't yell even in the middle of a fight. If I'm fighting, I try to get it out and then I cry because I get frustrated because I can't say, I'm not one of those bitchy women wives who are like, I'm just not. Anyway, back to the advice from my daughter, you take life's experiences and you put a little marker on them and you remember them.So when you need them, and I didn't even think I was going to have any children because I started so late and as the actress in me, I just never thought, I dunno, mom and my mom material. I don't know. I was like, you know what? I could really learn a lot as an actress by tapping into that love. I remember you'd see my friends who had kids way, way early and I'm like, God, they love these things. What did that feel like? I never knew what that was and so I took that experience and without it, I don't think I would truly ever be able to play a mom as genuinely as I am. Love because man, I love my kid and I didn't think I'd be like a great mom. I am the best mom I am and I love her and I love being a mom and all of it. So I tell my daughter to practice. Practice, learn your lines very easy and don't go in if you're not prepared. That's kind of a big one. You're not really,Michael Jamin:Just because you said mom was there, that fear the first time you decided to play mom, they say once you play mom like, oh, now she's a mom.Paula Marshall:Well, it's just an age thing, so that was never a thing for me. I'm going to play whatever I look like for sure. So I don't care. I don't care about that at all.Michael Jamin:Interesting. Paula, this has been such a great conversation, so thank you so much. You'rePaula Marshall:Welcome. I had so much fun talking with you.Michael Jamin:Yeah, I mean, I just love talking the craft with people like you. You're a pro and you're just, I don't know, so much wisdom to share, so thank you so much. You'rePaula Marshall:Welcome.Michael Jamin:Thank you.Paula Marshall:I'm enjoying your Instagram posts.Michael Jamin:Oh, we'll talk about that, but alright, well thank you. That's it. That's you're released, but don't go anywhere now we are going to talk some more here. Alright everyone, thank you so much. What a great conversation. Paul. Should they follow you somewhere? Did they do anything or just watch you on something? What do they want 'em to do?Paula Marshall:Depends on when you get this.Michael Jamin:Venmo you the most. What do you want? Venmo? MePaula Marshall:Cash is great. I mean, my Instagram is the Paula Marshall. I guess I'm not really great at all that stuff.Michael Jamin:Are you supposed to be though? Do your agents tell you?Paula Marshall:No, agents don't. But if you have so many followers, then it used to be this thing called a TV Q, which is your TV quotes, how many people know who you are? And that's just, social media has kind of taken that over, really. So people, I think people care how many followers you have. I do notMichael Jamin:Again, but Tbq is not a thing anymore, you're saying?Paula Marshall:I don't think it is. Wow. No. I mean maybe they call it something else, but I know an actress friend of mine was early on in the Instagram thing. She's like, yeah, I got to join Instagram. Yuck. I'm like, yeah, the thing. She's like, I was told I have to have it and you got to pitch. I'm not that self-promoting and I'll say things that are inappropriate and crude and get kicked off of Twitter for it, but whatever. That's who I'm,Michael Jamin:Thank you again. Really, it was such an honor to have you on. Alright everyone, more conversations coming. Thank you so much for tuning in. Until next week, keep creating. You're an actor. Tell your friends about this. You're other actor friends. Alright, everyone, thanks so much.Wow. I did it again. Another fantastic episode of What the Hell is Michael Jamon talking about? How do I do it week after week? Well, I don't do it with advertiser supported money. I tell you how I do it. I do it with my book. If you'd like to support the show, if you'd like to support me, go check out my new book, A Paper Orchestra. It asks the question, what if it's the smallest, almost forgotten moments that are the ones that shape us most. Laura Sanoma says, good storytelling also leads us to ourselves, our memories, our beliefs, personal and powerful. I loved the Journey and Max Munic, who was on my show says, as the father of daughters, I found Michael's understanding of parenting and the human condition to be spot on. This book is a fantastic read. Go check it out for yourself. Go to michael jamin.com/book. Thank you all and stay tuned. More. Great stuff coming next week.

Saddle up for an unforgettable journey through the world of Hollywood with the one and only Robert Carradine on this episode of Backstage Pass with Gentry Thomas. Your host, Gentry Thomas, takes you behind the scenes of Carradine's iconic career, from his groundbreaking role in "Revenge of the Nerds" to his latest western film, "The Night They Come Home." In this episode, Robert Carradine reminisces about the cult classic "Revenge of the Nerds," sharing entertaining stories and insights into the making of this beloved film. Explore the cultural impact of the movie and Carradine's experiences portraying the unforgettable character of Lewis Skolnick. Venture into the wild west as Carradine discusses his latest project, "The Night They Come Home." Get an exclusive peek into the world of this exciting western and discover the challenges and rewards of working on a film that pays homage to the golden age of the genre. The conversation takes a nostalgic turn as Robert Carradine shares his experiences working with Hollywood legend John Wayne. Gain firsthand perspectives on the industry's evolution and the enduring influence of iconic figures on Carradine's own journey in the world of film. But the episode isn't just about Hollywood tales. Robert Carradine offers his unique perspective on the Alec Baldwin shooting controversy, providing insights into the challenges and responsibilities that come with working in the film industry. Backstage Pass with Gentry Thomas invites you to ride alongside Robert Carradine as we explore the diverse chapters of his career. Don't miss this candid and revealing episode as we uncover the stories behind the roles, the excitement of the western frontier, and the thoughtful reflections on Hollywood's ever-changing landscape.

The Journey Begins.A Spring Break 14-part NovelBy FinalStand. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.*If my life is a mirror, why does mine have to be one-way with me on the wrong side*(Yes, this tale is supposed to be somewhat humorous and outrageous too. While not always comedic I'd like to think it is mostly a good-natured romp.)Barbie Lynn Masters – Dorm MotherTo say that I was pretty depressed when I began moving into college would have been an understatement. I met some nice girls who were also moving into my dorm but I wasn't much in the mood for talking. I found my room but they had my name wrong. Not only was I not Zane they even got Glenn wrong; they misspelled it as Glenda.I hadn't been unpacking fifteen minutes before this hottie breezed in asking if I was Glenda's brother. “Sure,” I joked, “I'm Zane.” “Can I see some ID? I'm the Dorm Mother,” she asked pleasantly. I showed her my driver's license which read ‘G. Zane Braxton'. “And you are?” I inquired. “Barbie Lynn Masters. Do you live close by?” she prodded. I looked around my room (which I shared with an as-of-yet unseen roomie), shrugged, and replied, “Yes. I live about a mile and a half away, just inside city limits,” I played along. Couldn't she see that it was my name on the luggage in my room and I'd already unpacked?“Can we count on seeing a lot more of you?” she purred, stepping up into my personal space. With her four-inch pumps, she was an inch taller than me, so I had to tilt my head up slightly to meet her gaze. “Unless you have a girlfriend, of course,” she demurred. “I don't have a girlfriend but I'm looking for one,” I grinned back. I wasn't really lying; I was looking for lots of girlfriends. “So, do you have a boyfriend?”“Oh, no,” she assured me. “I took a Purity Pledge and I have a fiancé so I can't be in a causal relationship with a boy, though being a ‘friend' of a student I'm responsible for is fine.” She licked her lips. My understanding of her convoluted reasoning was short-circuited by her D plus cleavage, perfect teeth, long light-golden hair, soft bedroom blue eyes, and blemish free, tanned skin.I've never considered myself terribly bashful. I hadn't been with a welcoming and available female in two months; she was right there in my face, so I grabbed Barbie's ass subtly, pulled her close, and began kissing her. At first Barbie seemed to be all talk and no action, but that lasted all of five seconds before she was all over me with our tongues intertwining and our hands going over each other's backs and asses.In a flash I had my hands up her pleated skirt, inside her plain white panties, and was massaging each muscular ass cheek separately and vigorously while my lips left hers and migrated to her neck and ear with kisses and bites, all of which seemed to really excite Barbie Lynn. She was moaning and grinding against me like a teenager coming down from a forty-eight hour unresolved porno binge.Her left hand slid around to the front of my jeans and touched my crotch where I was rapidly coming to the fullness of life. “Oh, God!” she whispered as she began stroking me up and down. “Tell me that's not a rolled up sock.” “Huh? What? No, that is all me. Why do you ask?” I mumbled between licks and kisses.“Oh, some boys can be very dishonest,” she sighed from past experience. “Does it hurt?” “No, it feels fine,” I assured her. “Are you sure it doesn't hurt just a little bit?” she persisted as she groped my bulge. Something clued me in.“Actually, it does hurt a little bit,” I guessed. Barbie Lynn broke our embrace, padded silently over to the door, took a quick look out, then shut it. She was back in my arms in record time. “In that case, let me see it,” she grinned. “How does a blowjob jive with your Purity Pledge?” I stupidly wondered out loud.“Oh,” she beamed an angelic radiance up at me as she slid down my body and unzipped my pants, our eyes locked together, “a blow job is sinful and done out of lust but relieving your pain is blessed and done out of love.” “I feel myself getting closer to spiritual fulfillment every second I'm with you,” I breathed huskily as she pulled down my pants and boxers, unleashing my manhood.Barbie tentatively, with a bit of fear showing, licked the tip of my penis. I let her get used to me before resting a hand on her head. She responded by slowly engulfing my cockhead, which felt freaking awesome after my long dry spell (please remember I had virtually non-stop sex for two and a half years). She bobbed slightly while pumping my shaft rapidly with one hand and tickling my balls with the other. I tried to push a little bit but Barbie gagged. I guessed she wasn't too skilled at this but hey, everyone starts somewhere.After five minutes she was taking more than half of my length in and doing so hungrily. “I hope you are not close to coming,” she mumbled between mouthfuls. “Actually, I'm feeling greedy,” I responded. She looked up at me, head still bobbing. “I can sense your pain and feel I should do something about it,” I explained.Now she looked confused so I backed up, pulled Barbie up by her waist and kissed her once more. I gracefully walked my hand down her waist and hip to her crotch. With a sharp intake of breath by Barbie, she melted into me and bit my shoulder. Next I spun us around and pushed her back on the bed at the corner, splaying her out for me as her bosom bounced sensually and enticingly. “What's on your mind?” Barbie asked with wide eyes. “I want a taste,” I grinned evilly, which only turned her on more.I fell between her outstretched knees. I made eye contact with her as she propped up on her elbows and my hands went to her panty waistband. I grinned, she blushed, and the panties came flying off. Barbie squeaked then slammed a hand over her mouth to muffle the noise. “Use my pillows to prop up your back,” I directed Barbie Lynn since she clearly wanted to watch. I maneuvered Barbie into a suitable position so that I was kneeling on the floor with Barbie's silky smooth legs spread to either side. Barbie Lynn was propped up so that she could watch me work. I got the feeling she was used to some level of stimulation, just not from a guy. I could deal with that.“Maybe we shouldn't do this now, or go back to my place where it is safer?” she asked. “I'm too hungry for you right now; your scent is intoxicating,” I finished up saying, and then I went in. I didn't rush things because every first time should be special. My right hand traced the line along the sides and rear of Barbie Lynn's thighs. My left hand traced the line over her pubic area to her stomach that finally ended with her left breast.“Hurry,” she panted. I knew she had somewhere to be but I was aware she could use some stress relief too. Barbie reached down with a hand to control my left hand and head but I was obeying my instincts. By the time she made up her mind to stop me, I overwhelmed Barbie with a pleasurable, mindwarping first orgasm. The noise brought a few students sneaking in to take a peak.Once I had a semblance of control over her, I began a series of actions to excite her whole body. On the second orgasm she wrapped her legs around my head and nearly crushed it. While I lapped up her juices, I decided to follow that up by kissing Barbie and giving her some of her own fluids to taste – a trick new to her.I kept my dick sheathed, though all three of Barbie's holes looked delightful. I figured she wasn't ready yet but I did manage to take off her shirt in the process and fondling and suckling at her magnificent breasts. After the third and fourth orgasms, Barbie passed out, and when she woke up, she whispered to me that she wanted my dick in her mouth and pussy. Purity Pledge? What Purity Pledge?Barbie Lynn confided in me that she'd sucked dick before and thought she was quite good at it, and that a few men had temped her cunt and ass with real penetration but all she had done so far was pleasure herself with toys and with the aid of other (female) students here at school. She was still technically a virgin (no boy parts had penetrated her vagina) but she'd done ‘everything else.' Was she or was she not an anal virgin? My money was on virginity.Barbie was pleased that I was going to her church (it was highly popular at the college, she told me), almost as pleased as I was to find her so receptive and hungry for more sex. I told her she needed sexier underwear and that I would gladly go shopping with her for some in case she wanted to model any (yes, I know they don't let you model underwear). While we talked I helped her get dressed, though we couldn't find her panties.We slipped out after that, Barbie to tend to her girls and me to go to my Aunt's. I told her I'd see her tomorrow. Barbie laughed as if she didn't believe me. As I left, I began to appreciate the guy: girl ratio of this place because it was looking very good in my favor. My evening with Jill passed uneventfully; we stayed up late as Jill suddenly realized she was going to be alone for the first time in years so I didn't end up sneaking quietly into my dorm room until well past midnight.Day One (It's a What?!?)My first day of college began with a six a.m. wake-up alarm in our room. Both my roommate and I sat up at the same time. We looked at each other and the sheets failed to conceal we apparently both slept shirtless.“Hi. You are a girl,” I got off first.“And you are a guy,” she replied indignantly.“What are you doing in my room? I mean, why did they give me a female roommate?” I countered.“Ah…are you joking?” she asked incredulously. Clearly I wasn't, and that realization made her grin mischievously.“Where is Glenda?” she inquired next.“Ugh,” I sighed. “When I was registered their system misspelled my name. My first name is Glenn, thus the Glenda, but I go by Zane, my middle name. What about you?”“Whoops. I'm Rio Talon and this is going to be wicked,” she giggled. “I have to admit I never thought I'd meet someone like you at FFU.”“You don't see quite the hardcore fundamentalist/survivalist type either,” I responded.“Ha!” she grunted. “You got me. It was either this or three years at a minimum security prison in Arizona,” she confessed. She didn't volunteer what she would have done time for and it was really none of my business.“I need to shower,” I changed the subject.“I'll go with you,” Rio volunteered as she slipped out of bed, and yes, she was naked…and cleverly and artfully shaved with several delicate chevrons pointing down. She also had a black tattoo of the name Lilith going from the right hip along the bikini line – definitely not Church issue.I went to the closet, got a robe, towel, and bathroom kit. Rio brazenly watched me move around.“Body-conscious much?” she chuckled.“Rio, I spent the last two years bathing down at the river with two hundred of my closest neighbors. Trying to cover up gets old really fast,” I grinned back at her. “Does my body disgust you?”“'Disgust' isn't the word I was going to use,” Rio said as she licked her lips and also got ready for the bathroom. “Now, let's get you shaved before…the bathroom gets flooded with people. By the way,” she tossed me Barbie's missing undies, “are these yours?”“Booty from my panty raid; please don't turn me in,” I chuckled, as I caught them, then stashed them in my backpack, hopefully to return to Barbie Lynn later. Rio laughed again.As I suspected, not only did I get assigned a female roommate but I was on a female floor, which earned me more than a few shocked looks. Since Rio stuck close to me, she earned her own share of looks, but these were more scornful; Rio ate it up. I still couldn't decide whether I'd miss Rio or not when I got my new room assignment.The two girls in the showers ignored Rio and I when we came in so I was able to shave in peace and get under a steamy shower without the expected shrieks. Only when they dressed in their robes and put on their glasses did things change. Their looks were best expressed as 'a boy saw me naked!' followed by 'A boy saw me naked…' and ended up with, 'A boy saw me naked and he liked what he saw.' I get hard when the wind blows – anywhere around the globe. They fled in a fit of giggles and I safely exited the bathroom before another girl entered.It was hardly unforeseen that my attire made Rio laugh but when she suggested black horn-rimmed glasses would really complete the nerd-look, I had to laugh too. I noted her regulation skirt appeared to be a bit higher above the knee than was prudent with a pronounced lack of underwear. Rio confessed that her parents tossed all her 'stripper' wear when they shipped her off and she wasn't going to wear the 'granny' panties they had put in place of her G-strings.The trek cross-campus to the Dining Hall would have been more enlightening if Rio had not lured me into an engrossing conversation. Remember now, I had been isolated from mainstream Western pop culture for over two years and had a lot of catching up to do. We grabbed some trays of breakfast; then, at Rio's insistence, we headed outside to eat pretty much by ourselves, or so we hoped.“Professor…” inquired this cute brunette with pig tails, dimples, and into pushing her tits in my face; I barely noticed she was backed up by three other girls.“Huh?” I questioned.“Braxton,” Rio spoke over me.“Could you tell me…where the…um…Clegger Science Building is, Professor Braxton?” She lied pathetically.My first thoughts were, 'why is she wearing such a thin white blouse two-sizes too small?' and wondering 'when is this thread holding that central button in place going to give up on it's hopeless struggle and let her boobs pop out?' Then I became curious why she called me 'professor'.“It is right over there,” I said, as I stood up, put my hand on the small of her back, and pointed the way with my other hand. The location of the building was blindingly obvious since this is not a huge campus.If things weren't awkward enough, Ms. Brunette twisted, rubbed her hardening nipples against my chest, and asked,“There?”“No,” I corrected by whispering into her ear, causing her to wiggle against me. I took her forearm, lingering my touch on the pulse of her wrist before directing it to the proper angle.“I would walk you there,” I added, “but we have to go to the auditorium soon.”“Thank you, Professor Braxton.” She wiggled a third time. “It is really a pity I don't have any of your classes. What do you teach?”“He's a Biblical Archeologist,” Rio interrupted, “specializing in Early Christian Erotic Art and Rituals.”I felt Ms. Brunette have a micro-orgasm over that piece of fantastical news.“Are you still taking on students?” Brunette panted to me. Rio jumped up.“Whoops! Look at the time!” exclaimed Rio, “Professor, you have to go – Right Now!” With that, she dragged me away from Ms. Brunette and her girl posse and across campus.“What the hell was that about and why did she call me Professor?” I hissed to Rio as we came to the auditorium for our first assembly.“Oh, it must be some Southern thing, sort of like the English calling men 'Governor',” she lied convincingly. How do I now know she lied? It will become obvious.I took a seat with Rio amongst the sea of students and it was just my luck that we were surrounded by girls once more. I really wasn't in the mood to have them gawk at me so I slumped down and kept a low profile. The auditorium sounded full-up and there was a magnitude of teachers and such on the stage.When a stately, attractive, yet demanding and stern tall woman with long grey hair worked up in a bun stepped up to the podium, the hall grew silent. First she led us in prayer, which I found odd because normally at this level of fundamentalism, women couldn't lead men in prayer, but I could have cared less. She welcomed the rising seniors first, then worked down the list until she recognized the new class of freshmen, reminding them of their 'Handmaiden Duties,' whatever that was.I looked to Rio who was stifling to suppress some dark glee, undoubtedly at my expense. The Chancellor of FFU worked us through some of what I assumed was normal school crap plus a reminder to review with diligence their code of moral and ethical behaviors and the names of their spiritual guidance counselors in case they felt wickedness overcoming them. Considering the thin white blouses and the short, pleated plaid skirts, yours truly and the other men on campus were going to be scoring like mad, morals and ethics be damned.A closing prayer ended the meeting and we dispersed like good little sheep heading for our first class of the semester. Rio and I both had English Literature but in different rooms so she was kind/sadistic enough to drop me by my room before heading her own way. I walked in and took a middle seat. Once again all the girls looked at me funny when they came in and I couldn't miss the fact that in a classroom size of twenty, we had nineteen girls and only one guy – me.I was mulling this over (I'm actually a smart guy but I admit, I hadn't been showing it too much recently) when our teacher came in. Her name was Ms. Goodswell (no lie) and she was a gorgeous brunette with breasts of greater proportions than Barbie Lynn's, and the rest just got lusher.Ms. Goodswell leaned against the front of her large wooden writing desk and used her tablet to scroll down the roll call. I was number three.“Braxton,” her sugary sweet voice drawled out. “Glenda Braxton.” I shifted in my seat.“Here,” I said in a clear masculine voice, “but I go by Zane.”Ms. Goodswell looked up over her reading glasses, expecting something other than me. As she looked at me her eyes grew larger…and she looked…and she looked.“What are you wearing?” she asked crisply.“What my Aunt told me was proper school attire, Ms. Goodswell,” I replied tentatively.“Proper attire is clearly outlined – white blouse and a pleated blue and gold tartan skirt with white knee sox and black shoes. Men wear pants; women wear skirts,” she clarified. I imagine my jaw dropped open at that one. Finally, I stood up so she could get a good look at me.“I'm dressed correctly, then I'm a guy,” I insisted. Ms. Goodswell had looked annoyed but now she looked pissed. She strode boldly toward me, heels clicking against the marble floor.“So you insist that you are a man, do you?” she snapped. Before I could do anything but nod she slapped a cupped hand against my crotch. I coughed in pain.I became aroused despite the mild discomfort because I was now gazing down into Ms. Goodswell's ample bosom. Her eyes went from angry to utter shock.“You are a man,” she whispered in horror. “What are you doing in my class?” I reached into my book bag and got my schedule, letting her gaze on it. I noticed her hand stayed on my crotch.“Nine a.m., English Lit. 101 in room 204, Denning Hall V. Goodswell,” I read out loud. Ms. Goodswell read it over while she massaged my growing shaft; subconsciously or not, I wasn't sure.“Very well,” she said decisively. She turned back and returned to the roll. As I sat down I had that creepy feeling that everyone else was staring at me, or more precisely, my Goodswell-inspired hard on.After that little bit of drama the actual class was okay. Ms. Goodswell was pretty bright and made our upcoming journey into the works of a bunch of old dead British guys sound fun. When the bell rang we got up and started to file out but Ms. Goodswell motioned me to wait for the others to leave us alone. It didn't work out that way; the other girls hovered right outside the door.“Okay, Mr. Braxton, what are you trying to prove?” she accused me with some real heat.“Please, Ms. Goodswell, believe me; I haven't a clue what is going on here. I woke up with a girl in my room this morning…” I began.“You had a girl in your room this morning? That didn't take you long,” she said bitterly.“No – wait; it was my assigned roommate, Rio Talon, and she was on her side of the room. It is okay because they accidently stuck me on a girl's floor in the dorm because there were girls in the showers too,” I continued.“Didn't you thing that was a bit odd?” she asked suspiciously.“Not really, ma'am. I've spent the last two years with missionaries in rural Thailand; I'm used to bathing with naked women all the time. Initially, I figured this was some sort of bureaucratic snafu but after doing my own quick census of your class, I think I've missed something crucial,” I explained.“Mr. Braxton…Zane, this is an all-girls school; men are not allowed. We can't even employ a man under the age of forty-five,” she informed me while studying my expression. While my penis would have done summersaults of joy, my brain was looking at my access to my trust fund going down the toilet.“I apologize. I'm pretty sure my Aunt Jill didn't know and I assure you, I was ignorant of this fact. What do we do now?” I sighed.“I believe you, Mr….Zane. No one would use this as an excuse after going through all the trouble to sneak in here. For now, you continue to your classes and I'll inform your other instructors of this…extraordinary event. Expect to spend lunch with the Chancellor so that we can extricate you from this situation. Can I rely on you to be good in the interim?”“I'll do my best,” I promised. She dismissed me and began using her phone. When I slipped out of the room, my classmates made room enough for me to make my way down the hall.“Zane!” a young female voice called out. I turned around to see Ms. Brunette. “Is it true you are a freshman here?” I was sure she would be pissed for the whole 'Professor' gag Rio had played and I'd unwittingly gone along with.“Yes,” I confessed. She'd assumed I was a teacher because I was male and I hadn't corrected her.“Kiss me!” she beamed hungrily. That was not what I expected but I reacted quickly and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. Ms. Brunette looked upset. “You can do better than that,” she commanded. Again, not what I expected; I put my book bag down, took hers off her shoulder and placed it next to mine.I started off with a repeat of the last kiss but instead of that being the ending point, I used it as a foundation to build upon. I slowly drew her in; she pulled her arms up between us and cupped my face as I dipped her with enough tongue action to make our steamy embrace a thermographic exploration of lust. We kissed for over a minute before I brought her up and let her go.“Better?” I murmured to her. Ms. Brunette nodded dreamily. As I retrieved my book bag from the floor I realized I was adrift in a sea of lonely young women. I could now empathize with that lost baby seal who found itself surrounded by a pod of killer whales.“Kiss me!” insisted a blonde.“No, me; I was here first.”“I'm a senior; I go first,” demanded a breathtaking black woman. I didn't know what was going on and I had no idea how to deal with this bizarre situation but all that was taken out of my hands by the next noise I heard.“Get off me, bitch,” I heard Rio shout out, followed by a slap and her scream. Rio was hardly my friend – in fact, she had used me for her own personal amusement for the entire time I'd known her – but she was my roommate, an outsider, and I was sure no one else would come to her aid. I shouldered my way in the directions of her screams and sobs, parting the last few girls separating us.Rio was on her stomach on the floor with three girls gathered over her. Closest to me was one with thick, wavy black hair and dark skin who had her foot pushing down on Rio's butt. The second one, who appeared to be the leader, was a black girl with shiny black hair in an intricate weave and was bouncing on Rio's back, yanking her hair back painfully, and was taunting Rio, saying she was supposed to be a good little beast of burden as well as mocking her as a 'felon'. The last tormentor was the only one facing me, though she was preoccupied with holding Rio's arms forward so she couldn't reach back to scratch the ringleader.It wasn't hard for me to figure out what to do. When Weave started bouncing up, I swept the legs out from under the other wavy-haired girl, sending her toppling backwards. I then put a boot to the black girl's butt, propelling her into the spectators on the far side of us. I didn't even bother with girl number three.I grabbed Rio by the arm and yanked her up and swung her behind me. It turned out to be a good choice because when the black girl back-flipped up in one fluid move, she landed in a martial arts fighting stance. I had a fight on my hands, or would have if the bell hadn't rung. As it was, the black girl looked both outraged and shocked when she took in my gender and my counter-stance.A flood of girls suddenly separated us. Rio took the opportunity to grab her book bag, then my hand, and together we bolted to our next class which was, oddly enough, Biblical Archeology but without the procreation parts. Our professor, Mrs. Carradine, treated me a bit coldly but the attention directed my way by the student body was anything but.I had barely pulled out my book when the girl behind me tapped my shoulder and slipped me a note.You will take my book bag to lunch and eat lunch with me. Dove FosterI furrowed my brow and showed the note to Rio who was sitting next to me. She smiled and whispered, “Handmaiden's Duty,” in a condescending tone. “Didn't you read your handbook?” Any further conversation was cut short by Mrs. Carradine's blistering glare.For some reason, Buddy Jesus kept me safe from anymore female attention until the class ended and I began to make my way out. I took some comfort that Rio stayed close to my side.“Zane. Zane Braxton…do you mind if I call you Zane?” babbled a shorter, slender girl with shoulder length black hair and glasses as she grabbed my elbow in a death grip from behind.“You can't ask him to do anything until he steps out of class,” Rio cautioned the newcomer. Now I had to decide whether or not I'd be a slave to Dove for an hour because technically she appeared to be in violation of the rules…which I knew nothing about.“No! I want to help,” she pleaded. “Besides, I'm a freshman like Zane so I can't ask him to perform…I mean do something to me – gak – for me,” she blushed.“What is your name and how can you help?” I questioned. I gently rubbed her shoulder and upper left arm to calm her down. She rewarded me with a deep breath and a warm smile.“I'm Iona Becket. Well, I figure you don't have a web-spot or a schedule manager for your Handmaiden Duties and I could help with that. What do you think?” I was still mulling it over when Rio thrust me back into the flames of Hell.“Iona, if you could do that for Zane, I'm sure he'd give you a naked full-body oil massage,” she teased her fellow freshman. I was sure Iona was blushing furiously down to the soles of her sock covered feet.“Great; I'll put out my digits and create your calendar, so if you give me your number, I'll get to work,” she bubbled. I did as requested and Iona skipped off…through the mob of women waiting outside. I hoped they were waiting for me because if Rio had pissed off that many ladies, she was on her own.“How did you know that I've been taught massage?” I whispered out of the side of my mouth to Rio.“You were in Thailand for two years and you are both not too stupid and are really good looking so I figure some back alley lady-boy showed you a thing or two,” she answered.“It was two lady-boys, but I don't think we can go into this right now.” I glanced to the crowd.“Zane, I'm going to miss you when these Christian bitches fuck you to death; you are not a total asshole,” Rio sighed as we headed out. I had to figure that was the nicest thing she was ever going to say to me. I stepped out with the certainty that I would be torn apart by well-meaning jackals.“Come with me,” said this imperious voice over the din. A woman (clearly a dominant senior) who had a stunning resemblance to the love child of Angie Harmon and Tyra Banks motioned me forward. Since she had some frightened freshman already lugging around her gear, I was a little uncertain as to what she wanted me for in the fifteen (now ten) minutes between classes.I trailed after the Super Smoking Hot Chick in the general direction of the Dickens Life Sciences building, mostly watching her ass move underneath that skirt.“So, do you have a name?” I finally asked. The other freshman stumbled and gasped at my ignorance.“You really are clueless,” laughed SSHC. “I'm Christina Buchannan, Senior Class President and Captain of the Soccer and Bible Study Teams. I'm also the granddaughter of Clarence Ingersoll, one of the twenty-five richest men in America. So, do you like watching my ass or are you more of a tit man?”“That's not really fair,” I replied after some consideration. “Your ass is divine but your breasts are so perfect that I really feel the only way to tell is with a hands-on inspection.” She stopped, turned, and regarded me with renewed interest.“You don't lack ambition, M…Zane. Some day we may just have to see about letting you decide which is better,” Christina grinned in a decidedly non-Christian schoolgirl way before resuming our journey.Never one to resist the chance to throw myself into the rapids in pursuit of a woman, I asked her,“So, do you have a boyfriend?” Of course, this girl is three years older than me and a princess to boot but you never know unless you try.“You know better than that, Zane,” she playfully scolded me. “You have already had that talk with Barbie Lynn so you know about the Purity Pledge we…we girls take when we come here.”I chuckled which earned me a slightly harsher look.“Sorry. It is… I know this one student here who I can't imagine taking that pledge unless a gun was put to her head,” I responded. “Not everything revolves around you, ya know?”“Touché, Zane,” she acknowledged. “You are referring to your roommate. I don't imagine the felon will be keeping to it. Her father is on the board of directors to a sister church in Phoenix but she's been nothing but sinful and shameful.”“Wow,” I told her as my humor faded, “you went from beautiful to ugly in a breath-taking fifteen seconds. Have you spoken more than ten words to Rio…ever?”“Please accept the fact that you are still a young man who has a lot to learn about the world and Our Lord's plan for us in it,” Christina said with gravitas. After a few seconds of walking in silence, her poor enslaved freshman huffing along, she added.“You have known her how long, Zane?”“Five hours,” I confessed.“If you weren't about to be tossed out of here I would take offense with your attitude but since we will probably not see each other after today, I choose to find your act of chivalry toward Rio to be quaint,” she condescended to say.“Okay,” I responded, “you seem like a nice, intelligent woman so I'm going to allow you to apologize to Rio for calling her a felon when you see her next, or by the end of the week if your paths don't cross, no matter what.”“If I don't,” Christina taunted me, “what can you possibly do to me?”“I'll make you apologize anyway and you'll regret making me force you,” I promised her evenly. Christina knew all about the balance – or in this case imbalance– of power; everything appeared to be in her favor. I was an insect and she was right in that I would probably be gone from Freedom Fellowship University after lunch.At this point it might be good to mention that I was with my parents when they died. Mom was in the lead when a whole rock face separated from the mountain and dragged her down to the valley below. Dad was blown loose, and two of my three pitons snapped. Mom was gone and Dad was badly broken, but he was together enough to know he was about to pull me down to my death with him.I didn't know what Dad was reaching for and he didn't say anything, but when he started sawing away at his connection to me, I cried out for him to stop. He didn't. I watched him fall while I screamed his name. I spent all night on that mountain wedged under the cliff where I had secured myself using the survival skills my parents had taught me until help arrived.I was hardly going to let some immature, self-important, rich, religious snob get the better of me. I like to believe I appreciated my parents' lesson of living each moment to its fullest. Rio deserved the chance to live each moment too and not have her past thrown in her face; this place was bad enough just dealing with our present circumstance.“I'll pick you up here when class lets out,” Christina ordered as she dropped me off at Biology.“Sorry, but I've already been enslaved for the noon hour,” I countered.“That wasn't a request, Mr. Braxton,” she stated with a serene gaze. “I'm to take you to the Chancellor's office at noon.”“Am I not trusted to find my way there on my own?” I questioned.To Be Continued.By FinalStand for Literotica

Kansas Carradine is a globally acclaimed professional horsewoman with a lifelong dedication to her craft. Since she was 11 years old, she has entertained audiences around the world, demonstrating her exceptional talents as a trick rider, roman rider, and lasso artist.Some of her performance credits include Hidalgo, Heartland, the World Equestrian Games, Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee, National Finals Rodeo, appearances on MTV, ESPN, CBS, Equitana, Cheval Passion and Equifest. She has been featured in publications such as Sports Illustrated, Western Horseman, Cowboy & Indians, and the LA Times. With Cavalia, she toured over five continents as a featured soloist, roper, rider, and trainer.Kansas is a HeartMath Certified Trainer and SkyHorse Equine Guided Educator and incorporates her unique skills into her training and coaching; bridging science, spirituality, horsemanship and heart. Through her workshops and teachings, she helps individuals activate their own heart intelligence for improved emotional self-regulation, self-confidence, health, connection, and performance.Following the wisdom and power of her heart, Kansas has made a positive impact through her service work with G20/C20 Presidency in India as Project Manager for the Fyera Foundation, as well as outreach in indigenous communities and fundraising for the Humane Society, Equestrian Aid Foundation, Wild Beauty Foundation, Compton Cowboys, and Embracing the World Charities.

Sex! Now that I've got your attention, here's our episode about these two movies named after flying things that kill. Spoopvember never dies!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5070447/advertisement

The first guest of The Best Song Podcast is Keith Carradine, who talks with host Jeff Commings about writing the Oscar-nominated song "I'm Easy" for the 1975 Robert Altman film Nashville. Carradine tells of the origins of the film's concept, including having actors write and perform their own songs, and how he handled the sudden award attention for his song. You'll also learn about the other four songs nominated for the 1975 Academy Award and why Carradine thought "the Motown machine" made one song a likely Oscar winner.

This book has been inducted into the Johnny Grant Hollywood Walk of Fame LibraryDr. Drew Pinsky: "I commend you for having the courage to step up and do it and do it thoroughly and do it properly.""Originally, the main purpose for writing this book was first to help heal myself and maintain a sense of humor as I vented.I found it was helping by opening a door to dialogue, with people especially about "taboo" subjects. It became my mission to help empower others through our experiences and maybe others will see how they too can help themselves, confront their demons, issues, seek answers, recognize patterns, listen to their instincts, get clarity, closure and healing. If people reach out and are open to change, miracles can happen. It's not to say it won't be painful, but we can transform our lives for the better. By bringing various sensitive issues out in the open, I hope this book sheds a beacon of light on a path for others to find their way as I did."Two dynamic people merging into a karmic-destined, intense and turbulent love relationship. Each struggling with their own demons including sexual abuse and incest.They were married on the Warner Bros. back lot Larmie St. and their six-year relationship was a whirl of auditions, star-studded parties, exotic locations, red carpets and a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Marina, already an established actress, became Carradine's personal manager and set about rehabilitating David's the career, who was now known for his heavy drinking. She introduced him to Quentin Tarantino, who cast David in a lead role in the popular film Kill Bill, which vaulted Carradine back onto Hollywood's A-list.Their marriage was marred by a toxic secret that could not be ignored and private life was replete with love, passion, erotic pleasure, sexual experimentation. With the help of re-known celebrity Dr. Drew Pinsky (Celebrity Rehab, Sober House), issues are addressed with the interview occupying an entire chapter. Anderson was able to exorcise the demons that have haunted her for so long about their relationship and herself that almost destroyed her.Her writing speaks to readers universally by focusing on their personal journey, revealing the truth about the couple, addresses conquering fear and overcoming obstacles, self discovery, recovery, re-inventing and rebuilding one's self. It's her personal survival while desperately trying to save the marriage as well as Carradine's constant struggle to be someone he wasn't, but wished he could be. Spirituality, psychic John Edward, other psychics and astrologers who helped her are written about in the book as well“It's an avenue for his fans and the general public to know, understand and hopefully accept him as a man, not a celluloid fantasy…to be admired for his talents and the motivations behind certain issues in his life understood. We are all human beings with our faults. What we do for love. He was afraid people wouldn't remember him. That will never happen. The legend continues.”His acting career spanned four decades onstage, television and cinema. He became an international sensation as Kwai Chang Caine in the 1970s hit television series Kung Fu and cemented his cult hero status with his role in the classic movie Death Race 2000. He portrayed Woody Guthrie in Hal Ashby's Bound for Glory and Bill in Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill films. Carradine received four Golden Globe nominations. He was a talented songwriter and musician and performed in a band called Cosmic Rescue Team.David Carradine died in a Bangkok hotel room, June 3, 2009, an apparent victim of autoerotic asphyxiation. Amid sensational media speculation, Marina refused to let David's death remain stigmatized like it was and launched her own investigation into the death of her ex-husband. Suicide? Foul play? A sex act gone wrong? Was he alone? Was there a cover-up? Her conclusions are startling.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/1198501/advertisement

The now infamous rants of Randy Quaid regarding Star Whackers has become a punch line and source of ridicule. But, what about all the "stars" before and after him who have made the same claims but didn't put the "Star Whackers" label out there. Is there any truth to all of this or is it just ramblings of washed up actors looking for attention? We look into it all on this weeks episode.Email us at: downtherh@protonmail.comSend in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/nwczradios-dtrh/messageThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/4656375/advertisement

CARRADINE, Unvarnished, Raw, Uncut, Uncensored!

Cops that stop crime with their hands! Listen and learn about cop relationships, cool character names, throw away plot points, and the power of location. DISCLAIMER: Language and Spoilers!MARTIAL LAWdir. Steve Cohenstarring: Chad McQueen; Cynthia Rothrock; David Carradine

In the stunning equestrian spectacle, Cavalia, Kansas Carradine was a featured soloist in five acts and became renowned for her skills of roman-riding a team of four horses. Kansas then worked behind the scenes buying and training horses for Cavalia in both trick-riding and roman-riding. Relax Trax is specifically designed to relieve stress in your horse by mimicking the rhythm of a horse's gaits and using string instruments. Listen to Sarah Reuss, VMD, DACVIM, Equine Technical Manager at Boehringer Ingelheim share why this works. Listen in... Show Host: Debbie LoucksTitle Sponsor: HandsOn Gloves, All-In-One Shedding/Bathing/GroomingGlovesGuest: Dr. Sarah ReussWhat's playing in the barn? A science-based approach to music​ by Boehringer Ingelheim US: Equine HealthA Music Track Specially Designed to Help Relieve Stress in Horses, Equine Relax TraxGuest: Kansas CarradineFor tips on Good Horsemanship: Ask MontyLearn more about Good Horsemanship at Monty Roberts EQUUS Online UniversityMonty's CalendarPlease follow Monty Roberts on FacebookFollow Monty Roberts on Twitteror on InstagramSee more at: MontyRoberts.comHear all the shows on the Horse Radio Network

Get ready for racing and fighting, Shaolin-style! Okay, maybe there's not really any Shaolin action, but CANNONBALL (1976) stars KUNG FU's very own DAVID CARRADINE! Beating the 1981 CANNONBALL RUN to theaters by 5 years, Carradine's vehicle (pun intended) trades the comedy focus for a more serious look at the world of illegal road trips! Not only is Carradine along for the ride, but so is cult icon MARY WORONOV in this flick penned and directed by DEATH RACE 2000 legend PAUL BARTEL! Oh, and SYLVESTER STALLONE, MARTIN SCORSESE and JOE DANTE are tucked in there, too (yes, it's a ROGER CORMAN production!)We "HIT THE ROAD!" on this week's episode of CULT and CLASSIC Films Podcast! Listen wherever you get your podcasts and at https://cultandclassicfilms.com/!Last Week: "TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY" (2006)Host: NATE WYCKOFFPanelist: MANDY LONGLEY & CORINNE PORTER

This week Short and Spooky is covering a very bad episode of The Hitchhiker. Like, REALLY bad. It's called "Garter Belt" and even though it has a Carradine in it, it's a rough watch. Don't say I didn't warn ya. But hey, at least it's fun to talk about! Please rate, review, subscribe, and tell your friends! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/shortandspooky/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/shortandspooky/support

Nye makes a bizarre recovery. Carradine spies the prize. The home of a master thief becomes a refuge to two singed Feds.

Join Maria Lovelady & Michael Alan-Bailey as they chat to everyone's favourite sing-a-long musical maestro Tom Carradine. Our duo discuss all things London, Music Hall and Variety with Tom, we hear about the beginnings of his now infamous moustache and how the vintage scene made Tom blossom into all he truly is. We also chat poignantly about the mental health pressures placed upon performers and Tom's own journey with this as he has risen to more and more popular heights. As a bonus, you will even discover which movie Michael and Maria watched in preparation for meeting Tom. Have a listen to find out… Find out more about Tom here: https://www.carradinescockneysingalong.co.uk Links to 'Twice Nightly' show tickets: LIVERPOOL - Royal Court - Studio Thu 27 - Sat 29 April - 2.30pm/7.30pm www.liverpoolsroyalcourt.com SETTLE - Victoria Hall Thu 11 May – 7.30pm www.settlevictoriahall.org.uk BRIDGNORTH - Theatre On The Steps Fri 12 May – 7.30pm www.theatreonthesteps.co.uk WIRRAL - The Gladstone Theatre Sat 20 May – 7.30pm www.gladstonetheatre.org.uk MIDDLESBOROUGH - Middlesborough Theatre Thu 25 May – 7.30pm www.middlesbroughtheatre.co.uk Appear on the show and leave us a voice message at https://www.speakpipe.com/TwiceNightlyThePodcast Get in touch - twicenightlythepodcast@gmail.com IG - twicenightlytheatrepodcast TikTok- twicenightlypodcast Twitter - @twicenightlypod Facebook - Twice Nightly: The Podcast Brought to you by Frame This Presents...

We get another, less cosmic step into the past when we review "First Flight"! Back in the day, Archer wanted to prove he had The Right Stuff, but can he overcome Action Grandpa?

This episode's film is Revenge of the Nerds from 1984. We talk about the controversy surrounding the film, Teen Sex Comedy tropes, the iconic character “Booger”, the lost Carradine, and much more. Join us and dive into this 80s cult classic comedy! WEBSITE: https://linktr.ee/BrokenVCR

Pusher wants intel on Division 10. Nye and Carradine head to New York. Ellie and Jake run low on time.

Author Stephen D. Sullivan takes a break from his and his to join Derek to discuss one of the last Universal monster rally films - House of Dracula (dir. Erle C. Kenton). Plus Listener Feedback, Kenny's Look at Famous Monsters of Filmland, and Mark Matzke's Beta Capsule Review. Save $2 at with code MonsterKidSaves, or click here - https://tinyurl.com/mkrscaregrounds Voicemail: (360) 524-2484‬ Email: Monster Kid Radio's Discord Server - Monster Kid Radio on Reddit - Monster Kid Radio on Twitch! - - Monster Kid Radio on YouTube - Scaregrounds PDX - Follow Mark MatzkeMonsteropolis - Monster Study Group - Small Town Monsters - Monster Fest - Small Town Monsters YouTube Channel (Home of SasWatch) - Follow Stephen D. SullivanAdventure Guaranteed. (Monsters Optional.) - Monster Kid Radio Amazon Wishlist - Monster Kid Radio on TeePublic - Next time on Monster Kid Radio: Stay tuned! All original content of Monster Kid Radio by is licensed under a .

Pod Friends features confessional conversations going “behind the mic” with the voices of the RHAP network. Host Matt Scott sits down with Sarah Carradine. The post Pod Friends | Sarah Carradine: Escaping Through Theater, Covering Crime Shows, & Learning You Don't Need An Invitation appeared first on RobHasAwebsite.com.

Pod Friends features confessional conversations going “behind the mic” with the voices of the RHAP network. Host Matt Scott sits down with Sarah Carradine. The post Pod Friends | Sarah Carradine: Escaping Through Theater, Covering Crime Shows, & Learning You Don't Need An Invitation appeared first on RobHasAwebsite.com.