Neurodiverse Love

Joanne Davies is AuDHD and is a clinical hypnotherapist who works with individuals and couples.  During this episode she shares so much valuable information about how hypnosis can help neurodivergent individuals and neurodiverse couples with sensory challenges, emotional differences and intimacy issues.  The topics she addresses during this episode include:How hypnotherapy can help bridge the gap between neurotypes.The parts of hypnosis: Induction, deepening and healing.The process of hypnotherapy and how neurodivergent individuals and their partners can benefit. How it can be used to help with sensory processing.The value of pendulating between something that feels good and something that doesn't.Can help to create safety and address triggers.“Cloaking” helps you create a virtual shield to help protect you from sensory overload.How to “anchor” in a certain feeling you had during hypnosis. How hypnosis can help with emotional identification and regulation.May be able to help with reducing meltdowns or shutdowns.Helps with “reparenting”.Understanding how to meet each others needs through hypnotherapy.Using tantric processes and body mapping to help with intimacy challenges.The process to use to create your own self-hypnosis process. You can contact Joanne at Jqhypnosis.com

To learn more about the resources and information that Mona Kay has available you can check out her website at: neurodiverselove.com__________________________________________________________During this episode with Sadie and her mom Lynn they share how unknown neurodivergence impacted Sadie's childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood, In addition, they address the topics below:Terrible two's.Sensory overload and meltdowns. Restrictive eating and sensitivities.Not understanding why you are so different as a child.Masking in school and being different at home.Expectations in school were more structured and easier to understand.Overwhelm during high school and changes in social rules.Being diagnosed with an auto-immune disease in high school.Stimming at home and walking in circles helps with nervous system regulation,Having a spiky profile. When younger, being able to socialize better with adults. Being a perfectionist and the struggle with some things that others do automatically. Challenges with learning to drive and driving…being “perceived” by other drivers.Masking and then having no spoons after school.Giftedness.  Different ways that children may process and develop language.

If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona offers you can click here. In addition, if you would like to join the new community that Mona is creating for non-autistic/neurotypical partners called "Neurodiverse Love Conversations" click here to register for the 4 week series that will be held every Thursday from June 5th-June 26th from 7-8:30-pm EST (US). The cost is ONLY $149 and each participant will get the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and Workbook and lifetime access to the 2023 and 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference sessions. If you are trying to make sense of how two people could love each other yet repeatedly misunderstand and hurt each other, then this community is for you. If you are repeatedly confused and don't understand why conflict, contempt or stonewalling have become more the norm than the type of connection and attunement you are looking for then this community is where you will find understanding, tools and strategies that can help you work towards achieving more peace and joy in your relationship and life!Spaces are limited, so if you feel called to join this supportive community I hope you will register today!____________________________________________________________This podcast episode was originally published on Jodi Carlton's podcast called “YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship” and is a conversation between Jodi Carlton, Mona Kay and Michael Daniel, the developer of the "Neurotranslator" and his wife Elise.The goal for sharing this episode on the "Neurodiverse Love" podcast is to spread information about the life-changing Neurotranslator app and to highlight the story behind its creator and the challenges he and his wife had been experiencing before learning he was neurodivergent.The topics addressed in this episode include:How having children changed everythingLearning about neurodivergence through a child's diagnosis Communication challenges Being high masking in life and marriageHow misunderstandings contributed to conflictUnmaskingUnderstanding your identity after learning you are neurodivergent Reliving trauma through a neurodiverse lensHow ability to function can change after diagnosisAutistic burnoutSituational mutismAbleismWishing you could have a husband with a NT brainHow the “NeuroTranslator” was born Both partners need to work to understand each otherYou can learn more about the Neurotranslator app here

Lori Crowley, M.A., LMFT, LPCC is a therapist and coach who works with neurodivergent families and couples.  During this episode she shares some of her lived experiences and her expertise as well as the importance of taking a somatic approach to psychotherapy. We discuss so many important issues for neurodiverse couples to understand and addresss including:​How to integrate sensory differences.​Dealing with sensory overwhelm.​Neurons that fire together wire together.​Sensory resourcing.​Understanding all of our senses including vestibular, neuroception, and interoception.​Understanding being sensory seeking, sensory avoidant, neutral or a combination.​Brain story on Neuroclastic website​Logicalizing or invalidating emotions.​“Toward” energy and “Away” Energy.​Rewiring your neural pathways.​Double empathy problem.​Changing the frame in which we are holding our experiences.​Opposites can “complete” each other.​Is it a “can't” or a “won't”?​Overwhelm, lack of agency/choice and sense of imminent demise can lead to trauma.​How do I repair?  1) Create safety in the environment: Person you are interacting with needs to be seen.  Look at them through a sensory lens: 2) They need to be heard.  Hold what comes at you; 3) Teding-people want to feel respected. This can help the other person's energy relax.  Remember not to say “but”, however you can say “and”.​Unpacking some of the sensory issues in play that led to Mona moving forward on a divorce.​Understanding if it's overwhelm or lack of care?​Understand that repair may not be possible, however forgiveness can be very healing.You can contact Lori for therapy here or for coaching here.If you missed the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can still buy "lifetime access" to the 31 sessions and the 4 recorded Q&A sessions. To buy access to the conference sessions or to learn more about the presentation topics, presenters and the bonuses you will receive click here.You can click here also learn more about the other resources Mona offers or at the links below: Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or WorkbookNewsletter | Instagram | Website | YouTube

During this episode with Mike and Amy Matthews you will learn about the challenges this neurodiverse couple experienced trying to find the root cause of Mike's depression and the difficult journey they went on to discover he had been in Autistic burnout for years and didn't know it. (I apologize for the tech glitches we had for about 5 minutes from about 20-25 minutes in.)Some of the topics we discussed are:How things changed after they had their first child.How before becoming a parent Mike had created a life that fit his brain.Little time for special interests after kids were born.Saw a psychiatrist and went on 5 different antidepressants and none worked.Loneliness of watching your partner go through this process.Psychiatrists and therapists said Mike couldn't be Autistic because he showed “empathy” and could maintain "eye contact".Relationship challenges after trying to figure out what was happening for about 5 years.Mike did research on Autism and everything fit. Went for Autism assessment and the results were that Mike had schizoid personality disorder, but Mike now self identifies as Autistic.Probably wasn't depression it was Autistic burnout.The importance of understanding sensory needs.Amy tried to enjoy the good days during the process. The importance of having a partner who wants to do the work. Creating a neuro-affirming household and family.Celebrating everyone's differently wired brains.Understanding the ways you are different and sharing your needs without guilt.The importance of having positive role models.Many in the medical/mental health community do not have the education and knowledge that they need to understand and work with neurodivergent adults.Contact Amy at amatthews@prairiewellness.org  or click hereIf you would like to learn more about the resources Mona offers including the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards & Workbook, the 2023 and 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference Sessions, support groups for Neurodiverse Couples and for the non-autistic partners, please check out her website.

If you did not have a chance to join us live for the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can still get "lifetime access" to the video recordings of the 31 amazing sessions and the 4 Q&A panels. In addition, you will also get the FREE BONUSES (Neurodiverse Love Conversaton Cards & Workbook and lifetime access to the 27 sessions from the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference). Click here to learn more about the conference sessions and to buy access to the conference videos today.____________________________________________________________During this episode with returning guest and relationship and life coach, Robin Tate we talk about many important topics that may be impacting your neurodiver relationship including:How AuDHD presents for women and the self discovery process.Differentiation and overlap between Autism and ADHD.Seeing patterns in people.Executive functioning challenges in ND relationships.The importance of knowing that you can have a dual diagnosis of AuDHD.Executive functioning is every step you need to take to accomplish every task you do every day.Executive dysfunctioning challenges in communication. Object permanence.Time blindness, future planning and staying regulated.Creating interdependency around executive functioning. Grieving the relationship you thought you were going to have.You may not be compatible anymore if one of you has been masking.The struggle between ADHD and Autism when you are AuDHD and how that looks in a relationship.Behavioral differences and internal state of each partner.Understanding how your family of origin has impacted your life and your relationship.The positive impact of somatic therapy.Thinking about the potential stigma you may have to deal with when disclosing your neurodivergence to your family.Stephanie and Dan Holmes new book is -"Uniquely Us -Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage" (Robin wrote chapter 8 which is on Executive Function)You can reach out to Robin through her website at: www.robintatellc.com

During this episode Mona Kay and her sister Ilysa talk about how so many things they experienced in their childhood began to make sense once they realized their father was Autistic (possibly AuDHD). Although their father passed away 20 years ago, the insights this understanding has brought have helped heal childhood wounds and bring understanding to dynamics in their family of origin and they have both learned more about how unidentified neurodivergence impacted the men they chose to love.Mona and Ilysa also talk about how their father made friends around special interests; not following through on his promises because of overwhelm; deep dives into lots of special interests; the importance of routines; sensory challenges that led to meltdowns; food preferences; smoking 3 pack of cigarettes a day and taking Valium; masking; dealing with the emotions of all his female family members; being financially secure and a good provider; choosing comfortable clothes to wear to work; black and white thinking; cutting family members off rather then dealing with emotions or conflict; being very blunt and the "unintentional" hurt; challenges with implementing boundaries; and mindblindness.If you are interested in learning more about the resources Mona offers you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

If you didn't have a chance to join us at the phenomenal 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can still learn from the more than 30 presenters who shared their lessons learned, lived experiences and expertise. For ONLY $97 you can get "lifetime access" to all 31 conference sessions and the 4 recorded Q&A panels. To begin watching the conference sessions today, or to get more information about the conference presentations and presenters click here.___________________________________________________________During this episode with coach Magi Nock we talk about ways to create more joy, safety and connection in your neurodiverse relationship. We also address the following: Accepting and acknowledging that the differences exist;Addressing grief that is unique to each partner; Compassion towards what is happening in your relationship;Cultivating curiosity about each others perspective;The bigger the trauma the more expanded your support system may need to be;Having tools and people to turn to when your dysregulated;Co-creating connection in unique ways;Finding unique ways to communicate;Understanding that you each  can “choose” to stay in the relationship;There is hope and possibility for change. You can contact Magi and learn more about her coaching services here Neurodiverse Coaching

The 2nd Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference will be held on March 6th-8th, 2025. All the sessions are recorded, so even if you are not able to join us live you will get "lifetime access" to ALL 31 phenomental sessions!If you use the discount code Mona50 you will also receive $50 off the ticket price and the investment is ONLY $47! In addition, you will get some amazing FREE BONUSES WORTH OVER $120. To learn more about the sessions and to register click hereIf you have any questions about the conference please send an email to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com____________________________________________________________During this podcast episode you will learn more about the "predictive processing framework" (PPF) from Autistic therapist, Sarah Bergenfield. Sarah shares why understanding this framework is so important and how learning more about it can positively impact any neurodiverse relationship. Sarah talks about the ways in which the PPF impacts social interactions, sensory processing, physical intimacy, routines, socializing, and change. This discussion will help increase your understanding of some the challenges you may be experiencing in your neurodiverse relationship and can help both partners create more connection, have more more grace, and possibly heal some emotional wounds and "unintentional' hurt.If you would like to contact Sarah please check out her website here.If you would like to learn more about the Neurodiverse Love Documentary click here.

If you are looking for tools and strategies to learn how to manage the ups and downs of your neurodiverse relationship then you don't want to miss the 2nd Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference. All the sessions are recorded and everyone who registers will receive lifetime access to all 31 sessions.Whether you are looking for ways to better manage change, improve emotional reciprocity or understand the sensory issues that may be impacting your relationship this conference is for you!!! Use the discount code Mona50 to get $50 off the registration price and your investment in yourself and your neurodiverse relationship is ONLY $47You can see the list of presenters, their session topics and register here.____________________________________________________________During this episode with Jana M. Smith, you will learn more about the importance of nervous system regulation and how to expand your window of tolerance. In addition, we also discuss the following:◦ Tools to manage undiagnosed ADHD;◦ Addressing dysregulation in your marriage and family;◦ Chronic pain and health issues and attempting to manage symptoms;◦ Fight or flight hyper-vigilance;◦ Sensory sensitivities;◦ Rewiring your brain to begin healing;◦ Getting out of survival mode;◦ How your brain is responding to stress and how it's maladaptive;◦ Negativity bias keeps us in a dysregulated state;◦ How to function more effectively in a neurodiverse relationship when both partners are dysregulated;◦ Impact of challenges with interoception;◦ Moving quickly from being fine to dysregulated;◦ The importance of implementing somatic exercises;◦ You can build new communication highways in the brain;◦ Do your own work and then work together to understand what accommodations are needed;◦ Expanding the window of tolerance and creating safety for the nervous system;◦ The brain does not rewire from avoidance and the more we avoid the more sensitive we get;◦ Learning how to expand your window of tolerance and what you can do to regulate your nervous system;◦ How you support yourself when multiple family members are repeatedly dysregulated;◦ Understanding your sensory profile;◦ Challenges with physical intimacy when your nervous system is dysregulated;◦ Have compassion for yourself and others in your life because there is hope for change.You can learn more about Jana and the resources and services she offers here

I am SO excited to be hosting the 2nd Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference from March 6-8th, 2025. Check out the list of presenters and sessions topics at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can register here using the discount code Mona50 to get $50 off the ticket price. In addition, you'll get 3 FREE BONUSES worth more than $120.! All the sessions are recorded and everyone who registers will have lifetime access to all 31 sessions!!!During this episode, I have an opportunity to talk with Greg and Michelle Fuqua about their mixed neurotype marriage (Autistic/ADHD) and their journey together. More specifically we discuss:- How they met and what attracted them to each other. - Miscommunication and early triggers.- Challenges before knowing they were a neurodiverse couple.- Limited capacity to work a full-time job.- Addressing the need for autonomy.- Challenges after having kids.- Emotional barriers to protect oneself.- Cognitive dissonance. - Reframing experiences with a neurodivergent partner and child.- Not taking things so personally.- The benefit of individual therapy.- Improvements in communication. - Neglect and abandonment triggers.- Being able to communicate challenges clearly.- The importance of doing the work individually and as a couple.- Creating emotional safety for each other.- Loving each other for their differences.- Shame triggers.- What they would have changed that they now know caused the other unintentional hurt.- The importance of taking care of yourself.

I am so excited to invite all of you to join me and more than 30 amazing presenters, of many different neurotypes, to the2nd Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference on March 6-8, 2025. All the presentations are recorded,so everyone who registers will get lifetime accessto all the sessions.If you use the the discount code Mona50 you will get $50 off the registration and your cost is ONLY $47. Click here to register today!In addition, you will get 3 awesome BONUSES FOR FREE:Digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and the digital workbook ($23.97 value)27 video sessions from the 1st Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference ($97 value)To see the list of presenters click here.____________________________________________________________During this episode, you will hear from AuDHD Therapist, Lindsay Averbook. Lindsay shares about her journey to get herAutism diagnosis and describes the challenges she had with medical providers who weren't listening to her.She chose to get a neuropsychological evaluation and was diagnosed as Autistic. She also had received an ADHD diagnsosis while in college.Lindsay also shares how she went through an identity crisis after the Autism diagnosis and how she didn't know what to do after the diagnosis.  She also began questioning whether she could still be a therapist. We also talk about the need for more education about adult neurodivergence for mental health and medical providers and the stigma associated with diagnosis.We discuss the fear of disclosure with friends, family, your romantic partner or colleagues and how everything  in life can make more sense after a diagnosis and how validating it can be as you begin to understand so many things from your past.Lastly, we talk about how media is portraying adult neurodivergence differently and how many newly diagnosed individuals may go through a grieving process as they begin to unmask and discover their most authentic self.You can contact Lindsay at:L.averbooklmhc@gmail.com

During this episode with Benjamin Meyer, LCSW we talk about how important it is to be open to understanding each person's differences throughout the dating process. We also address: Different kinds of connections and chemistry Asexuality Gender Identity Difference between romantic and sexual feelings Different kinds of romantic feelings Being upfront about your needs Meeting people who have similar special interests Getting to know people over time Understanding different perspectives and double empathy Managing rejection You can contact Benjamin at: www.benjaminmeyerlcsw.com If you would like more information about the resources Mona has available you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

During this episode, author Eleanor Vincent shares some of the ups and downs she and her ex-husband experienced in their neurodiverse relationship. More specifically she addresses: The 1st break-up, years of friendship, reuniting and then marriage; How things changed when they moved in together;  Masking and unmasking; Challenges with emotional reciprocity; Using love scripts; Communication challenges;  Short-term improvements, but not long term and consistent; Meltdowns and shutdowns; The impact of COVID;  Health challenges; Change in physical and sexual Intimacy;  Patterns in an neurodiverse relationship;  Unmet needs; Deciding to end the relationship and having no contact;  Being part of “The Lost Generation” You can learn more about Eleanor's story in her new book: "Disconnected: Portrait of a Neurodiverse Marriage" In addition, you can contact Eleanor at: www.eleanorvincent.com or contact Mona at: www.neurodiverselove.com

During this episode, Dr. Roianne Ahn shares some of the things she has learned through her lived experiences and in her 30 years as a therapist, coach, and researcher. She addresses ways in which we can better understand our wounded neural pathways (and those of our partner) and give each other grace. She shares the importance of finding your North Star as a couple and how neurotoxins may be impacting you as you and your partner react to stress through a flight or fight response. Dr. Ahn also talks about the importace of accessing your joy individually and as a couple and the value of managing a separation or divorce with grace. You can learn about Roiann's therpay and coaching practice at www.ahnpsychology.com or you can email her at ahn@ahnpsychology.com

During this episode, Misty Schmidt, LMFT shares how she navigates the communication and culture differences in her neurodivergent family and with her neurodivergent clients. She addresses the importance of having a therapist/coach who can translate the different types of communication and understanding that one partner may be very literal/concrete and the other may be more abstract. Misty also talks about the research she is conducting for her disseration. She is focusing on the dyamics between romantic partners who are both neurodivergent. She is also writing a book about navigating neurodiversity, which will include a variety of worksheets and tools including the "meltdown scale". Misty also addresses the impact of living with an incorrect diagnosis and how important it is for therapists/counselors to have training regarding neurodivergent adults, as some challenges may be identified as part of a personality disorder or trauma, however they may actually be related to neurodivergence. Unfortunately, some therapists may not understand or recognize neurovariance, sensory sensitivities and executive function differences and may think they are a trauma response and not consider neurodivergence. Explaining your internal world to a neuroaffirming therapist can help them determine what issues may be due to trauma and which may be due to neurodivergence. Misty also talks about Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) and how this may look for a neurodivergent individual and the importance of understanding it and recognizing what can be done to help reduce the impact. You can contact Misty at: www.schmidtfamilycounseling.com If you are looking for a neurodivergent therapist you can check out this site: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/ndi-directory In addition, if you would like to work with a coach or therapist who has expertise working with neurodiverse couples you can check out Mona's website

During this episode, Toni Borneo, a late discovered Autistic who is also the host of the "Autistic at 40" podcast shares what she has learned about Persistent Drive for Autonomy (aka Pathological Demand Avoidance). More specifically we address the following: Learn how this is a heightened stress reaction to anything that is out of the person's control There is a strong desire for autonomy over "what, when and how" and being addicted to finding ways to maintain control Why your partner may say "no" often Fight, flight, freeze response from threats or "perceived" threats The impact of "internalized" PDA Masked PDA and issues around trust Shame around PDA and secretive or sneaky behavior Creating a no-judgment zone The impact on executive function skills Your body may be in hyperarousal all the time How to get your autonomy back through equalizing with acts that are safe, boundaried and not damaging to your relationship Reframing requests and sharing declarative statements, rather than asking questions You can follow Toni on IG @autistic_at_40_podcast You can also listen to her podcast "Autistic at 40" or learn more about her on-line free space at Autisthood. If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona has available you can check out her website . If you would like to buy the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or the Workbook click here.

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love._________________________________________________ Sex has a language all its own, and it is both spoken and unspoken. Sex with our partner and with ourselves can be fun, invigorating, a great way to unwind, how we connect to our body and to our partner. When one or both partners are experiencing ND Burnout, sex can be overwhelming or require more energy than we have along with a few other hidden elements. When we don't know to look for some of these hidden elements in our relationship and sex life, the story we tell ourselves about why sex isn't happening like it used to, or how we aren't enjoying it the way we once did, can create a cassum between partners, along with feelings of rejection, guilt, shame and unwant. Those reasons just aren't the case when ND Burnout is a factor and during this episode Carole Jean Whittington shares: What ND Burnout is. How it can look from the outside. What it feels like on the inside. The hidden elements of ND Burnout that impact our sex and relationship. First step in Burnout Restoration to restart your sex life. You can learn more about Carol Jean Whittington's book, YouTube channel, podcast and the many other resources she has available at: www.whittingtonwellbeing.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. ______________________________________________________________ Dr. Bronwyn Wilson provides information on some of the significant discoveries that she made during her research. She reveals how different needs for interaction between two groups of people in neurodiverse relationships creates an unconventional relationship which introduces unique challenges for the people involved. She describes how these different needs and resulting challenges are linked to the development of an ongoing dynamic system of communication that often becomes a specific feature in these relationships. She also give details on the particular strategies that she uncovered for the potential positive outcomes in neurodiverse relationships. To learn more about Dr. Bron's research or her books you can click here. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love.____________________________________________ Neurodiverse relationships can sometimes be difficult to navigate, but if we have clear ways to both communicate and understand each other, it can be easier and more gratifying. During this episode, Lawrence Siegel, MA, CSE explores some of the things we can do to communicate more effectively about our sexual and intimate needs. Things like understanding nonverbal expression and creating shared experiences of physical pleasure, using code words to communicate in the moment, and learning how to accept our partner's lack of desire without feeling personally rejected. Hopefully, the information shared will help partners relate to how they see some of the important foundations of creating a succesful, sexually rewarding relationship. You can contact Lawrence Siegel at the Sage Institute for Family Development or at the Modern Institutes for Sex Therapy Training --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. _________________________________________________ In working with Neurodiverse individuals and couples it's apparent that teaching about diverse perspectives and providing a structure for solving conflict is not enough to overcome the common neurological differences. Co-creating strategies for each person to identify, regulate and communicate about their own emotional state is essential to the success of the dynamic. In a relationship, staying calm involves self-regulation, as well as co-regulation. In this episode, Robin Tate will define each of these terms. She will also talk about the potential barriers to self-regulation and strategies that help each person, as well as the team, stay calm as they work through conflict to achieve greater connection, understanding and agreement. You can contact Robin Tate, MA, MS at: www.robintatellc.com or at robintatellc@gmail.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. _________________________________________________ Do you feel like your struggling to navigate parenting children while also being a neurodiverse couple? Kate and Clark Webb certainly do! This episode will highlight common daily parenting struggles from both the neurodivergent and neurotypical sides. Clark and Kate explore different scenarios, how each responds, and reflect on what they could have done differently. No parent is perfect, so let's embrace surviving one day at a time together! You can contact Kate and Clark at: neurodiversecouple@gmail.com or on IG @neurodiversecouple --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. _______________________________________________ During this episode, Leslie Sickels, LCSW discusses how intimacy and sex are healthy, natural aspects of human relationships, yet this topic often goes unaddressed in neurodiverse couples therapy. While difficulties a nd challenges related to intimate connections are not unique to neurodiverse couples, there are core areas of neurodiversity that frequently arise and can be effectively identified, addressed, and managed in neurodiverse couples therapy. Leslie aims to normalize challenges related to intimacy and sex in neurodiverse partnerships and assist couples in identifying strategies to begin speaking more opening about these areas in couuples therapy. You can contact Leslie Sickels at LeslieSickelsLCSW.com or at LeslieSickelsLCSW@gmail.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

If you would like to learn more about the resources available through Neurodiverse Love you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com _______________________________________________ During this episode with Natalie Roberts she will be sharing the truth she has lived and is so passionate about sharing, that the impact of unknown neurodiversity in your relationship is reversible and you can thrive...and flourish! You'll find clarity about what that impact is for you plus hope and possibility that you can be YOU again in your neurodiverse relationship! You can contact Natalie at: natalie@natalieroberts.com or at www.natalieroberts.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love._________________________________________________ During this episode with Cheryl Rhodes, MS, LMFT, LPC you will learn more about the benefit of understanding your love languages. You've heard this term before and know that the love languages describe different ways to express and experience love. Do you know how to determine your personal love language and that of your partner? Are there Autistic or neurodivergent love languages? This episode will answer these questions and give practical suggestions for partners to give love in ways that will be best received. You can contact Cheryl Rhodes at: myrhodesmap@gmail.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. _________________________________________________ During this episode, Michelle and Andrew Preston share the story about how they were struggling in their relationship until Michelle read a chapter in a book that made her realize Andrew may be Autistic. She approached him about and it and they were able to go through the diagnosis process together and learned that Andrew is in fact Autistic. Learning this strengthened their bond and improved their communication. It also helped Michelle take things less personally as she began to understand that Andrew's lack of emotion had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with how his mind works. If you are interested in learning more about Michelle and Andrew's story you can buy a copy of their book: Friendship Love Autism-Communication Struggles and Autism Diagnosis That Gave Us a New Life Together. You can follow Michelle and Andrew on TikTok@ MichelleandAndrew or email Michelle at: michellepreston@gmail.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. ________________________________________________ During this episode Heather Parks busts one of the many myths that exist about neurodiverse relationships-the belief that "things will only get better if my partner changes". When we put all the responsibility for change on our partner, we can feel powerless, stuck and frustrated. But the great news is that there's a different way to create change in a relationship! And it doesn't involve coercing others to make changes or to engage with therapy! Instead, the invitation is to become more aware of our own defense modes, to focus on ourselves. It takes two to create a pattern and only one to change it! Heather shares how we are all contributing to the Relationship Defense Cycle, and how we can interrupt it so that we can have a better experience in our neurodiverse relationships. You can contact Heather at: heather@heatherparks.co.uk or on her website at www.heatherparks.co.uk. You can also find Heather at: www.lovingdifference.net or on social media @neurodiversefamilycoach --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. _________________________________________________ During this episode Sarah (Autistic) and Larry (NT) share some of the most useful strategies they have developed for communicating and thriving together as partners, as lovers, and as parents. These are their most impactful tools for effective neurodiverse communication, which they learned "the hard way" in this journey of making love work together for the past 10+ years. You will also gain insight into both perspectives, from an autistic point of view and a "neurotypical" point of view. What are their most frequent and most entrenched communication struggles? What are the best ways they've found to hack each other's daily communication styles, build long-lasting connection, and understand each other on a deeper level? Sarah and Larry will also share many actionable strategies that can be adapted and applied to your own relationship, such as SOS/trigger words, high and low contexts, nonverbal cues, and reset moments. You will be both inspired and better prepared for the realities of successful communication between people who think and act so differently to each other. You can contact the Nannery's on social media at: www.sarahnannery.com sarahnannery@outlook.com IG & X (Twitter) @sarahnannery LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/sarahfike Facebook: @quirkyandbright You can also learn more communication strategies in the Nannery's book called "What to Say Next: Successful Communication in Work, Life, and Love with Autism Spectrum Disorder" --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. During this episode Grace Myhill, MSW shares several simple but important tools that can help neurodiverse couples communicate better and have more healthy connections. Grace is the Director of Couples and Partner's Services at AANE and the Director of the Peter M. Friedman Neurodiverse Couples Institute at AANE. You can contact Grace at www.gracemyhill.com. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. Successful intimate relationships don't just happen by themselves. Building a life together requires us to solve hundreds of everyday problems that all couples encounter. Love for your partner means it's natural to go to great lengths to help them to be happy, to work with their quirks, to be understanding of their limitations, and personal struggles, but what about your own needs? Your own happiness? Are you giving so much to your partner that your're neglecting yourself? Are there areas of your life or your relationship where you feel resentful or unappreciated? During this episode, Paul Micallef from Autism From the Inside will explore the importance of self-care and boundary setting in order to set you and your partner up for success. To learn more about Paul Micallef's work or his amazing YouTube channel, Autism From the Inside click here. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. ________________________________________________ Eva Mendes is an autism and ADHD specialist, couples counselor, and psychotherapist. She facilitates worshops and training at various universities, mental health and medical centers. Eva has a private practice where she works with clients from all over the world. During this presentation, Eva talks about the critically important things that can contribute to a happy and healthy relationship. She also recently published a new book titled "Armchair Conversations on Love and Autism-Secrets of Happy Neurodiverse Couples". If you haven't had a chance to get a copy of this book I highly recommend it. I was honored to have been asked to write the foreward for the book and I know that many of you will enjoy reading how other couples are successfully navigating the ups and downs in their neurodiverse relaitonship. You can contact Eva at: https://www.eva-mendes.com/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love._________________________________________________ Living in a neurodiverse marriage poses unique challenges. This episode includes information on how partners in marriages where one or more partners are on the spectrum can work with Drs. John and Julie Gottman's Sound Relationship House Theory-7 research-based principles for making marriage work to better their relationships. This will include brief, significant strategies partners can use to bridge their differences or build upon friendship, intimacy, and romance; manage conflict and create an even more meaningful relationship. You can learn more about Dr. Michael McNulty at: www.chicagorelationshipcenter.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. When sex is an issue in a neurodiverse relationship, it often happens for both common and less common reasons. While sex can be a relationship strength and a reliable source of comfort and connection for neurodiverse relationships, when it's not, understanding why can sometimes be a challenge. In this episode, Dr. Kathy McMahon addresses both universal and neurodiverse specific sexual challeges in these relationships, including initiation and seduction, sexual give and take, pornography, and understanding sex as a "special interest". You can contact Dr. Kathy McMahon at: www.CouplesTherapyInc.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love.________________________________________________ Do you or have you ever, as a couple or family really thought about your values and what's important to you? What gives you purpose and meaning in life? How do you want to deal with conflict and disagreement? What is your belief system and how does it guide your decisions and behavior? Where are you going as an individual and as a team-what is your destiny? Diving into your values in a meaningful and regular way indicates that you are an intentional couple or family. It is only the intentional couple or family that sustains the storm winds of life. Stressors will come and those that are unprepared are the least likely to withstand the challenges that they bring. In this session, Dr. Lucking will discuss the XYZ system of creating values that drive behavior. This system can be used with couples or families. It's great for parenting as it's simple enough for children but practical enough for adults. Love requires effort and neurodiverse love sometimes requries even more effort. Your effort can be reduced with the right tools and theory. As Mahatma Gandhi said: "Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny." You can contact Dr. Lucking at: www.SiliconValleyTherapy.co --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. _________________________________________________ The topics addressed during this episode are: The challenge of discerning "wanting to" vs "wanting to want to". The former leads to action, the latter doesn't go anywhere. How to present what's verbally expressed as "important" compared to the actions that "show" what's important. What are the challenges or expectations for the NT partners to know? What is a challenge or observation for the Autistic partner? Keys of growth and health: individual work, humility and teachability. To learn more about the work Stephanie and Dan do to help ND couples you can check out their website at: www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. _________________________________________________ Reactivity wreaks havoc in Neurodiverse partnerships. It is implicated in the breakdown of connection, communication and skillful conflict and gets in the way of efforts to recover despite both partner's desires and intentions. Jill discusses the role of reactivity and pathways to change your relationship with it. You can learn more about Jill's work at: www.jillcorvelli.com or www.ndpartnerscompass.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. _________________________________________________ Discover the 4 stage communication method that provides neurodiverse couples with the insights and tools to bridge the communication gap that exists in mixed neurotype relationships. This solution-focused method provides what traditional therapies have never done. Designed specifically to help partners understand the root causes of their misunderstanding and confusion, this method provides implementable tools for clarification of meaning and for updating relationship narratives while attending to each partner/s unique preferences and needs. To learn about the services and resources Jodi Carlton provides you can check out her website at: www.jodicarlton.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. _________________________________________________ Through the lens of neurodiversity, a movement to de-pathologize atypical neurological wiring, we will look at the application of IFS (Internal Family Systems therapy) to working with mixed neurology couples-effectively "looking under the hood" of what is happening for couples when they don't get along. A case example is discussed. You can contact Kim at: www.kimbolling.com

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. _________________________________________________ Just about everyone in a neurologically mixed relationship is confused about their partner's behavior and is often quick to assign motive. Instead, Joe Biel and Faith Harper offer tools to step back, listen, take care of yourself, and learn how to attack challenges as a team.  You can learn more about Joe at: joebiel.net You can contact Dr. Faith at: www.faithharper.com

To learn more about the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. If you would like register for the 4 week workshop series that Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D. and Sarah Swenson, LMHC will be co-facilitating titled " How Can I Love My Partner and Still Struggle to Imagine a Healthy Future Together" that begins on July 9th, 2024 at 7:30pm EST click here. _________________________________________________ During this episode, Margot Alexis and Chelle share information about the long-term effects of Cassandra syndrome. Many NT women endure chronic isolation, anxiety and depression. Others have difficulty sleeping, digestive disorders and serious autoimmune diseases. Some exhibit persistent anger, severe resentment and feel helpless to change the situation. Almost all will experience a loss of self.  In this episode, Margot and Chelle discuss what Cassandra Syndrome is, it's effects and how you can heal from it. They also share information on the following topics: Why NT women have a difficult time getting support from friends and family? The first step in recovery. What healthy emotional detachment looks like. How letting go is different than giving up. The support that is available, To learn more about Margot and Chelle please check out: www.healingcassandra.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

If you would like to register for the 4 week workshop series titled " "How Can I Love My Partner and Still Struggle to Imagine a Healthy Future Together", with Sarah Swenson, LMHC and Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D. ⁠click here. To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love.__________________________________________________________________ During this episode, Dr. Ali Arena Perkinson shares information about the 4 communication styles she has identified to help individuals and couples better understand themselves and each other. The goal is for you and your partner to learn more about your different styles and how you can better understand each other and communicate more effectively. The 4 communication styles are: Purposeful Captivator Listener Facter To learn more about Ali and the work she does, please check out her website at: https://www.connection-squared.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

If you would like to register for the 4 week workshop series titled " "How Can I Love My Partner and Still Struggle to Imagine a Healthy Future Together", with Sarah Swenson, LMHC and Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D. click here. To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships click here. _________________________________________________ Although the global awareness of autism continues to show signs of growth, little empirical research has been done on the way in which neurodiversity impacts romantic relationships. The existing body of knowledge points at a severe state of distress in women who are in couple relationships with men on the autism spectrum. However, the literature is mainly based on personal accounts of these women, in many cases, without their partner being formally diagnosed. Most professionals aren't trained or lack the experience to recognize or diagnose ASD in adults. Hence, they fail to provide efficient help for neurodiverse couples and women in neurodiverse relationships. Aiming to raise the awareness, change the existing situation and help these women and couples, Dr. Pnina Arad conducted an extensive quantitative study about the physical and mental well-being of women in neurodiverse relationships. During this episode she describes her research, shares the findings, and discusses the conclusions and implications of her study results. To learn more about Dr. Pnina Arad, please check out her website. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships click here. _________________________________________________ Professor Tony Attwood and Dr, Michelle Garnett have learned through their many years of clinical experience that there are some unique challenges to being in a love relationship as a female autistic partner, and yet much of the literature on relationships where one partner is autistic focuses on the male autistic/female neurotypical experience. In this session, they both describe some of the experiences they have discovered to be challenging for autistic women in love relationships, and give some ideas about how to manage these challenges. This session will be helpful to both autistic women and their partners. If you would like to learn more about the workshops and resources that Tony and Michelle have available, please check out their website. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

To understand yourself, your partner and your neurodiverse relationship better, invest in the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, Workbook, and the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos. In addition, check out the other resources available to help you find guidance as you move forward on your Neurodiverse Love journey. ———————————————————————During this session from the Neurodiverse Love Conference, Dr. Harry Motro shares how "Trauma Informed Neurodiverse Couples Therapy" can help create a path to lasting healing. When one or both partners has been traumatized by relationship patterns that are rooted in their neuro-differences, the partners must overcome two distinct challenges: 1. Heal the trauma, and 2. Understand and build bridges across the neurological differences. Unfortunately, most approaches to Neurodiverse couples counseling do not adequately address the trauma. As a result, couples get stuck in trauma-fed reactive behaviors that keep them stuck. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

To help you and your partner better understand each other, you can buy the digital download of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards for $11 or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook for $12.97 _________________________________________________ During this solo episode, Mona shares how she has rebuilt her self-worth and self esteem and healed emotionally, mentally and physically since her divorce 6 years ago. Other topics addressed include: Looking back I am able to get a clear understanding of what brought me the peace and joy I have today. Whether you stay in your current relationship or go please know that we all deserve joy and peace!!! You can't change the past, but you can understand it to change the narrative or story you tell yourself and this helps improve life in the present and the future.   We all are doing the best we can in the moment and when we know better we CAN do better!!! (Maya Angelou) Understand what is changeable, focus on your side of the street, take action towards thriving!!! Feel it, visualize it and see yourself taking the action steps to move forward on making the changes you want to create to have the life you want! Emotional death by a thousand papercuts occurs because you don't understand your own or each other's neurotypes, childhood wounds or vulnerabilities. You wish your partner could change and do things more like you do and you are both unintentionally hurting and triggering each other…your nervous systems are continuously dysregulated and you may find yourself in a state of fight, flight, freeze or fawn often. Mourning, grief and disbelief that our marriage was ending after 30 years, yet we still loved each other!!! Resentment, anger and regret. Anxiety, depression, despair. Feeling all the feels and having a support system that could hold me close and love me through some of the most emotional and lowest points in my life. Working on my mental health, finding a good therapist, listening to podcasts and reading books, walking, spending time outside in the sun and at the beach. Reconnecting with the things I loved when I was younger, that I was no longer including in my life. Getting clear about my own needs, wants, desires, and non-negotiables. Practicing self-care and saying no to things that no longer mattered to me and saying "fuck yes" to the things that I was most passionate about or that brought me peace. Rebuilding my self esteem and self-worth, and then putting myself out there again to start dating. Eating healthy and exercising. Getting clear about my dreams and taking steps to move forward on making them a reality… asking myself “will I regret this if I don't do it?” Having and communicating healthy boundaries in every relationship in my life which included work, friends, family and dating. Tapping into my life purpose and moving forward to making that a reality. Being kind and patient with myself, and fully accepting what I needed to heal and grow. Forgiveness, healing somatically and spiritually and finally, knowing that other peoples opinions of me is none of my business, and is oftentimes a reflection of their own unhealed trauma or pain.  You can't do the work for two people!!!  Own your truth!  Let old patterns die!!!  Celebrating freedom from unintentional hurt and pain…healing, growth and living an aligned life.  Saying goodbye to the old version of me and embracing my authentic self. Radical acceptance and responsibility for living my truth!  Understanding my own neurotype, my wants, needs, desires, values and preferences.  Knowing that I deserve to live my best, most authentic life!!!! ______________ To keep up-to-date on all the resources available through Neurodiverse Love you can subscribe to Mona's newsletter at: https://www.neurodiverselove.com/newsletter-signup Follow Mona on Instagram: @neurodiverse_loveCheck out her website:  www.neurodiverselove.com If you want to contact Mona you can email her at: Neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

If you are interested in learning more about the resources Mona has available for neurodiverse couples, or individuals in a neurodiverse relationship, you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com _________________________________________________ During this episode with Dr. Ali Cunningham Abbott, LMHC we talk about the self-discovery process for neurodivergent individuals and why it is critical for therapists, health care professionals and educators to have more knowledge and training about neurodiversity. Other topics addressed include: Ali's work at the Center for Autism and Related Disabilities (CARD) at Florida Atlantic University (FAU). Combatting assumptions about autism and romantic relationships. Counselors need to have the competencies to work with neurodivergent individuals or neurodiverse couples. Understanding the self-identification and self-discovery options and process.  Knowing if it's necessary to get a formal diagnosis. Using free assessment tools may be helpful (ie: Autism Quotient; Social Responsiveness Scale). Go to www.embraceautism.com for a lot of free assessment tools. Understand your Sensory Profile. Hypo and Hyper social motivation. Understanding autism across the lifespan, for all genders, for different races and the diversity in sexuality identities. Autism representation in the media and stereotypes. Feeling alien or not belonging and getting a diagnosis or self-identification as an adult. Grieving what could have been because of unknown autism. Using strengths and assets to help individuals thrive. Project F.I.N.D. (Females in Need of Diagnosis). Making higher educational training more autism friendly. Ali is the Program Director for the Counseling Program at Lynn University and she has created an “Interest Network” at the Southern Association for Counselors Educators and Supervisors. If you would like to buy Ali's book the title is: Counseling Adults with Autism; A Comprehensive Toolkit.  The title of Steph Jones book is: The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy. You can contact Ali at Lynn University  or on LinkedIn --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

If you are looking for more resources on neurodiverse relationships you can check out Mona's website: www.neurodiverselove.com _________________________________________________ During this episode with Dr. Laura Hull you will learn more about the development of the CAT-Q tool (Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire)  and the impact of camouflaging/masking. Other topics discussed are: How the CAT-Q was developed and why. What might make it difficult for girls or women to get an autism diagnosis? Developing methods for teachers and parents to recognize and understand camouflaging.  Camouflaging may be affect a person's mental health because of increased stress and anxiety, feeling like they may be losing their identity, lack of authenticity, or lying about who they are. The research shows there is a connection between mental health and camouflaging.  There is ongoing research on the correlation between these topics. Masking and camouflaging are used interchangeably and focus on changing and fitting in. Camouflaging-is compensating for differences or assimilating into other aspects of behavior. Masking is a subtype of camouflaging and is about hiding of Autistic characteristics. Discovering that you're Autistic later in life and beginning to work out your identity and unmask to find out who your “real self” is. Determining if you want to unmask in all areas of life. How unmasking impacts your relationships. Seeing your child get negative feedback for being who they are may be a catalyst for unmasking . There are some differences between different genders and the way they camouflage. What if health care and mental health providers ALL screened for neurodivergence? This could help more people get the right support and accommodations! The CAT-Q can be accessed for free at:https://embrace-autism.com/cat-q/ The tool can help you better understand if and how you might be camouflaging. Laura is working on another project with neurodivergent individuals to determine what type of support young people who are masking might need. To learn more about masking you can buy the book Laura co-authored: Autism and Masking: How and Why People Do It and the Impact it Can Have by Dr. Felicity Sedgewick, Dr. Laura Hull and Helen Ellis. You can also contact Laura at: Laura.hull@bristol.ac.uk --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

To get more information about the resources Mona has available for neurodiverse couples or individuals in mixed neurotype relationships check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com _________________________________________________ During this episode with author Sarah Hendrickx, she will share how she met her partner 20 years ago and why she didn't understand why their relationship was so wonderful and difficult at the same time. She also talks about how she began to discover her own neurotype and how she and her partner Keith compliment each other's strengths and understand and accomodate each other's differences. Sarah has been doing “non-clinical autism diagnostic assessments”, workshops and conference presentations for many years and the 2nd edition of her fantastic book "Women and Girls on the Autism Spectrum" was released this year and is a “must read”. Other topics discussed include:  The Lost Generation. PCOS and Autistic women. Anxiety and agoraphobia. AuDHD and women. Bridging the silos. Menopause and ND women (autistic menopause.com is doing research on this topic) What attracts neurodivergent partners?  Not being focused on social conventions. How neurodiverse couples are attracted to certain qualities in the beginning of the relationship that may drive them nuts as the relationship moves forward. The differences in her relationship with Keith and how they help each other step up and take care of each other. (Socializing, sensory and emotional/mental health differences). How alexithymia may be impacting your relationship. The importance of self-awareness. Acknowledging that you are no longer in the same relationship that you were in before you knew you were a neurodiverse couple. The importance of shared core values. Always be kind!  Want the best for each other. Understanding what is changeable and what is not. The best you each can do is going to change…sometimes daily. Other books and authors mentioned on the podcast: Other books by Sarah: The Adolescent and Adult Neuro-diversity Handbook; Love, Sex & Long Term Relationships; Aspergers Syndrome and Employment; Asperger's Syndrome-a love story. An Asperger Marriage by Gisela and Christopher Slater Asperger Syndrome and Alcohol: Drinking to Cope by Matthew Tinsley and Sarah Hendrickx Books by: Liane Holliday Willey (Pretending to Be Normal and Asperger Syndrome in the Family), Temple Grandin (The Autistic Brain and Navigating Autism) and Donna Williams (Autism: An Inside-Out Approach and Nobody Nowhere) You can learn more about Sarah or contact her daughter Jess at: https://www.asperger-training.com/sarah-hendrickx In addition, for more information about the assessments available you can go to: https://axia-asd.co.uk/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona Kay has available, please check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com ________________________________________________ During this episode with Caron Starobin, LCSW, you will learn more about how Relational Life Therapy (RLT) can help neurodiverse couples understand how their challenges and lived experiences can be used to help them learn, grow and heal. In addition, you will hear about the fantastic workshop that Caron helped organize for the Relational Life Therapy Foundation called “No Ordinary Life”.  You can purchase access to the workshop at the link below: Neurodiversity No Ordinary Love - Relational Life Foundation The RLT Relationship Grid is a visual representation of self esteem and boundaries and includes information about where each person ends up on the grid when they are having their worst day. Click on the link below for a picture of the grid. During this episode, Caron explains the grid and this visual will be helpful as you listen to the episode. https://www.facebook.com/TerryRealRLI/photos/the-relationship-grid-relational-life-institute-coming-to-centerlike-many-people/1335146869845845/ Other topics discussed include: Shame is thinking that you are worthless. Desperation is being willing to do anything to make someone believe you, or hear you. Grandiosity is when you think others are not as smart and worthy as you are. Resignation and withdrawal focus on feeling like you are the one who is not tuning into your partner and that you may be broken. Controlling may include asking your partner ”What is wrong with you? I'm always taking care of everything”. Work on boundaries becoming less rigid or porous. Both partners need to look at how they can communicate and function in a more healthy way. Determine how you can each change your patterns and become more resilient. In RLT the client is "the patterns" that get each couple stuck. There are 8 lenses that are used to assess each client/couple: 1) Presenting problem  2) Preconditions 3) The blatant latent 4) The losing strategies (there are 5 of these) 5) The stance, stance, stance 6) The Relationship Grid 7) Family of origin 8) Socio-cultural  Understanding that the grieving process may be different for each partner and it's important to acknowledge their markers of resilience. It is important to accept limitations in each other and grieve what each partner had expected and accept the reality of "what is" moving forward. Let go without resentment. If the resentment continues then you haven't done the grief work. Focus on doing "relational mindfulness" and be more yielding and generous. Relational reckoning. For more information on Relational Life Therapy, Caron recommends the books “The New Rules of Marriage” and “Us” by Terry Real. If you would like to learn more about Caron's therapy practice and the groups she offers, please check out her website at: www.starobincounseling.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

During this episode with Dr. Nan Wise, who is a neuroscientist, sex therapist, and relationship counselor you will learn how to better understand yourself and your partner and how you can each regulate your nervous systems. In addition, other topics that are addressed include:  Learning how to radically accept where you are as an individual and a couple. Understand the core emotional systems:  seeking system; care system; play system; lust system. Defensive systems: fear system; rage system; panic/grief/sadness. Understanding core differences between you and your partner and different ways of handling emotions. Build bridges between the differences. Most people argue over “matters of opinion”. Get the understandable part of your differences and maintain a nonjudgmental attitude. The negative impact of not learning how to take an effective stance for what you “need and want” in your relationship. Learn how to ask for what you want and need “like a calm broken record”. We need to learn how to regulate ourselves and shift out of flight, fight, or freeze mode. Elongating exhalation-make the exhale longer then the inhale and this will help rebalance our core emotions out of a defense system. Calming our nervous system to co-regulate with our partner. Learn how to tune into the body channel. Everyone feels their embodied emotions. Learn how to pay attention to the core sensations in your body. Understanding cognitively infused emotions. The importance of changing patterns to feel safe in our relationships because we're not understanding each other. Learn how to move from disconnection to connection by syncing your breath to entrain. Eye contact, listening to a partners voice or speaking in a calm way can help with co-regulation and promote connection. The benefit of heart coherence and giving your partner the benefit of the doubt and not assuming. Learning how to do deep/active listening and “take a session”.  The listener says “What I hear you saying is_____.  Is that correct? Is there more?” We “project” onto each other and may not understand that we are doing that. There are different kinds of marriages and the most challenging times can be when we have children and when the children leave home. How can you create a “sustainable” relationship? Relationships break down because they're pointing out to us how we need to grow as human beings. Give yourself and your partner the benefit of the doubt, learn how to reset your nervous system, and take 100% responsibility for what “you” are creating in your relationship. You can contact Dr. Nan Wise at www.askdoctornan.com You may also want to buy her awesome book titled: "Why Good Sex Matters-Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier and a More Purpose Filled Life". (Book/workbook by Brent Atkinson that Dr. Nan Wise mentioned in the podcast is "Emotional Intelligence in Couples Therapy: Advances from Neurobiology and the Science of Intimate Relationships ".)  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

During this episode, Judy Singer shares about her family story, her marriage, and her thesis that was the "groundbreaking sociology thesis that prefigured the last great liberation movement to emerge from the 20th century". In her book: "Neurodiversity-The Birth of an Idea" Judy states, “The internet is the prosthetic device that binds isolated socially unskilled autistics into a collective social organism capable of having a public voice.” Some of the other topics dicussed are: Judy's work in disability studies. Her research at the local library to better understand her mother. Her relationship and experiences with her neurodivergent mother and her neurodivergent ex-husband. Judy facilitated one of the first support groups for adult children of autistic parents. She called them "daughters of engineers". Challenges at job interviews before understanding her neurodivergence. Not being able to maintain eye contact at work. Different parts that come out in different circumstances. Worked in computer programming and hated it! She systematizes information about people and that is why she is a sociologist. After 8 years on the waiting list for public housing she got a subsidized apartment and then was able to return to college. Consider what neurodiversity means to each individual and understand each other's traits and accommodate each other. You can contact Judy at: Neurodiversity2.blogspot.com To learn more about Judy's groundbreaking thesis you can buy her book: NeuroDiversity-The Birth of An Idea. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message