Podcasts about chicken eggs

Stupid News 3-20-2025 6am ...You can always substitute Chicken Eggs with Iguana … Eggs …She identifies as a Cat …That's not a Taco Bell

It's your Ill-Advised News, the stupid criminals of the day. Support the show and follow us here Twitter, Insta, Apple, Amazon, Spotify and the Edge! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Stupid News Extra 10-8-2024 … He ate 728 Chicken Eggs in 28 Days

Are chickens pets? Are chickens okay in your community? Big Jim and Ryan crack down on chicken rules and city regulations, shell and all. The post Chicken Eggs-perts appeared first on 94.7 WCSX.

MSW introduces you to 'Mitochondriac,' a cutting-edge mitochondrial rejuvenation supplement designed to support your brain and body's energy powerhouses.  SUMMARY: MSW introduces you to 'Mitochondriac,' a cutting-edge mitochondrial rejuvenation supplement designed to support your brain and body's energy powerhouses.  In today's episode, we explore the symbiotic relationship between the brain and liver health and how certain foods can significantly impact this connection. From the humble sardine to the mighty cacao, Nurse Doza shares insights into how these foods contribute to brain health, backed by scientific research and his clinical observations.   TIMESTAMPS (00:00) Introduction (01:15) The Brain and Liver Health Connection (03:50) Sardines and Salmon: Omega-3 Powerhouses (15:27) Green Tea: The Brain's Antioxidant Ally (22:34) Chicken Eggs: Choline and Brain Development (29:48) Turmeric: Curcumin's Neuroprotective Magic (37:15) Cacao: Flavonoids and Brain Health (45:10) Introducing 'Mitochondriac' by MSW (47:30) How to Incorporate Brain Foods into Your Diet (54:45) Closing Thoughts and Takeaways

Spring hatching is around the corner! For those new to the world of incubating eggs and hatching chicks, we're here to let you know it's not as daunting as it may see. In this episode, Pascale Pearce of Brinsea joins us to discuss the basics of using an incubator and how to solve any challenges that may come your way, including when to stop turning chicken eggs, how to adjust humidity in an incubator, and candling. More from Mother Earth News and Friends 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Bawk Tawk, Welcome to Chickenlandia's 100% Friendly Backyard  Chickens Show! In this episode, I interview the creator of Flockstar, an innovative app that helps chicken keepers keep better track of their chickens' health, egg laying, and much more. Hope you love it!Learn more about Flockstar by visiting their website.You can also find Flockstar on Facebook, and Twitter. Order my new book Let's All Keep Chickens! here.Become a more confident chicken keeper with my new online course: Backyard Chickens 101 - A Chicken Course for Everyone. Click here for more.Join my mailing list and become part of Chickenlandia NationCheck out My Favorite Chicken for all your chicken needs including First Saturday Lime, Nesting Herbs, and Flybusters!Check out Small Pet Select and use the promo code SPSCHICK15 for 15% off!Learn how you can have eggs ALL YEAR by clicking here: Homesteading Family's Preserving Eggs Class. Use the coupon code CHICKENLANDIA for 25% off (offer valid through Jan 1, 2025)!Check out my TEDX Talk "I Dream of Chickens"Visit Welcome to Chickenlandia's website by clicking here!Submit your own chicken question here!Check out Welcome to Chickenlandia on YouTube by clicking here!Watch my TEDx Talk: I Dream of ChickensFind Welcome to Chickenlandia on:FacebookInstagram Twitter Write to us!Welcome to Chickenlandia™2950 Newmarket Street, Ste 101, PBM 125Bellingham, WA 98226Disclaimer Notice: The content of the Welcome to Chickenlandia YouTube Channel, podcast, website, blog, vlog, and all social media is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional veterinarian advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Dependence on any information appearing on the Welcome to Chickenlandia YouTube Channel, website, blog, vlog, and social media sites is entirely at your own risk. Please do your own research and make your own informed decisions regarding the health of your chickens.The President of Chickenlandia has a new book now available called Let's All Keep Chickens! Order yours today by clicking here.

Winter is coming even though it is not fall. T is stressed out right now. Time to audit infrastructure, water, firewood, feed hay for the sheep and goats, wood chips and more. Featured event October 16 Chicken Processing: https://selfreliancefestival.com/product/poultry-processing-october-16/ Sponsor 1: HollerRoast.com: https://bit.ly/3oq04OO Sponsor 2: EMPShield.com: https://bit.ly/3MBBELx COUPON CODE LFTN Forage Shake the Paw Paw Tree Watercress is back Mullein Seeds Oyster mushrooms MInt and other herbs are still with us but the time is soon that a frost will come Livestock Pregnant Ewe Male sheep are settled here - trying to eat bark of fodder trees Baby Ducks going outside of the chicken tractor for the first time today  Chicken Eggs should start soon Max fd around and found out About time to breed rabbits Harvest Meals Saute with wild mushrooms Holler Stew  The Pork Tenderloin thing Grow Lettuce has germinated Fall beets look sad Still getting beans and tomatoes off the garden but they are slowing down First brussels sprouts harvest ever Time to start prepping the garlic patch for the year Peppers are very slow, unlike former years Tomato horn works and other caterpillars have arrived (WHy and what we are doing about it) Planning to just maintain the lettuce patch into the fall as things get super busy here Holler Neighbors/Community Tested a prepper game: WROL Traded coffee for eggs Infrastructure Getting ready to work in Nashville on drywall next week we could not find anyone to do work there so it is up to us Staining tajmaholler Rabbit redo starting Finances Started the new tracking system: meeting post errand run as a policy, spreadsheet, immediate reimbursements.  Make it a great week! GUYS! Don't forget about the cookbook, Cook With What You Have by Nicole Sauce and Mama Sauce. It makes a great Christmas Gift! Community Mewe Group: https://mewe.com/join/lftn Telegram Group: https://t.me/LFTNGroup Odysee: https://odysee.com/$/invite/@livingfree:b Advisory Board The Booze Whisperer The Tactical Redneck Chef Brett Samantha the Savings Ninja Resources Membership Sign Up Holler Roast Coffee Harvest Right Affiliate Link

Have you ever thought about this eternal dilemma: what came first – a chicken or an egg? And what will disappear first? If all the chicken eggs on the planet disappeared, humanity would lose the omelet and delicious pastries. But the worst thing would be that the chickens would lose the ability to reproduce. Let's see what other scary things would happen to the world without chicken eggs! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you hoping to breed chickens? If so, you'll need to know how to hatch them. There are a couple of ways to do this, and you need to follow the steps carefully if you want to welcome perfect little chicks into the world. Here we'll talk you through those steps along with looking at what you need, the pros and cons of each method, and some tips for successful hatching. By the end, you'll know exactly what you need to go from fertilized eggs to healthy chicks. Let's go!  Full:  How to Hatch Chicken Eggs? (An Ultimate Guide) 

Are you looking to grow chicks from your hens' eggs and wondering if there is a way to tell they are fertile? Maybe you are looking to buy eggs to grow in an incubator and want to know they are fertile before paying for them. Or perhaps you have heard people say that supermarket eggs can sometimes be fertile. There are lots of myths surrounding fertile chicken eggs and in this article, we sort out facts from fiction. We also look at the science of how chicken eggs are fertilized. So keep reading to have your questions about fertilized chicken eggs answered.  Full:  Fertilized Chicken Eggs (Facts & Myths) 

Eggs are some of the friendliest farm products and cooking ingredients to deal with. You take it out of the refrigerator, crack it, and put it in your frying pan or baking batter. But while this versatile ingredient is simple and humble, being safe when handling eggs is of the utmost importance. Although eggs are uncomplicated for the most part, they can still be susceptible to bacteria that can cause illnesses in humans. Even fresh eggs that have just been lain can be contaminated if they come from poorly maintained chicken coops. But what is the best way to handle chicken eggs? Today, we'll be talking about how to clean chicken eggs and what benefits you get out of it. We'll also be sharing the many ways you can wash your eggs to ensure that they're safe to eat.  Full:  How To Clean Chicken Eggs? (Best Practices And Easy Methods)

Candling chicken eggs is a crucial step in growing and hatching baby chicks at home or on the farm. Even poultry farm professionals do it to check on the embryos in big batches of fertilized eggs to make sure everything is going okay with each chick. Although candling chicken eggs sounds nerve-wracking and intimidating, it's actually quite easy to do. It's a fun activity to perform even with children, as long as they're extra careful with the eggs. Want to candle your chicken eggs to check on them at home? Here's a step-by-step guide to doing so without having to buy expensive candling machines or specialized lamps.  Full:  https://www.coolchickenbreeds.com/candling-chicken-eggs/

'Easter Origins, Pagan Traditions, Rabbits laying Chicken Eggs, The Exodus & Black People' – 'The African History Network Show' with Michael Imhotep 4-9-23, 9pm EST Easter is a moveable Christian Holiday. It is celebrated on the 1st Sunday following the 1st full moon following the Vernal Equinox. The Vernal (Spring) Equinox marks the first day of Spring which usually comes March 20th or 21st. When Easter is celebrated is based upon Astronomy. This was one of the results of the Council of Nicea in 325 AD (Ecumenical Council). You can look up Easter in an Encyclopedia or Dictionary and it will tell you when it is celebrated. - Michael Imhotep #Easter #Eostre #Ostara #Ishtar #HappyEaster   REGISTER NOW: Next Class Sat. 4-8-23, 2pm EST ‘Ancient Kemet, Moors, Understanding The Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade' 12 Wk Online Course. https://theafricanhistorynetwork.com  

Welcome back Raymond, The Kilted Prepper as we discuss the Ohio train derailment, problems with our supply chain and self reliant solutions to keep you prepared for the future they are trying to trap us in. The Kilted Prepper: https://raymondmhor.com/PROBLEMS: Headlines to search. *Tractor Supply Chicken Feed Reportedly Causing Egglaying to Stop, Board has Ties to WEF, Jeffrey Epsteinhttps://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2023/01/tractor-supply-chicken-feed-reportedly-causing-egglaying-stop-board-ties-wef-jeffrey-epstein/*Scientists Warn Eggs Are Causing Thousands of People to ‘Suddenly' Form Blood Clots*Yolk Defense Against COVID? Chicken Egg Shortage Fuels Conspiracy Theories*Hyperimmunized Chickens Produce Neutralizing Antibodies against SARS-CoV-2*If they are willing to poison the chickens to stop them from laying eggs, they are likely poisoning the HUMAN food supply to stop us from having childrenSOLUTIONS: *The Coming Chicken Egg Shortage in The U.S. in 2023: How to Preparehttps://raymondmhor.com/2023/01/chicken-egg-shortage-2023/*It's That Time of Year Again – Start Planning Your Spring Garden*Food Prices WILL Escalate Dramatically – Prepare Now – A Budget Preparedness List for Beginners*11 Items You Need To Get NOWSUPPORT THE SHOW:Buzzsprout https://www.buzzsprout.com/1853952/supportSubscribeStar https://www.subscribestar.com/jesse-jaymzOne time gift donation via Paypal https://paypal.me/dangerousinfo?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USPatreon https://www.patreon.com/JesseJaymzJOIN OUR GUILDED CHAT ROOM: https://www.guilded.gg/i/Evx9g1VkGold and silver affiliate:American Coins and Jewelry https://www.ebay.com/str/goldandsilvertreasure7629 Highland Rd.Waterford, Michigan 48327Matt-(248) 978-7686https://www.subscribestar.com/jesse-jaymz/subscribe?tier_id=57006SUBSCRIBE STARS:Jill BarcRyan Mansfield ShowCarmie RosarioKenneth AllenChad GeyerPatriot MillerSheryl E.Manny EspejoShannon RuffEmail the show: http://dangerousinfopodcast@protonmail.comJoin my mailing list: https://mailchi.mp/03e09a1333c8/jessejaymzemailsignupSocial Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jessejaymz1/Twitter https://twitter.com/jaymz_jesseGab https://gab.com/JessejaymzTruth Social https://truthsocial.com/@jessejaymzRumble https://rumble.com/c/DangerousInfoPodcastTelegram SMART is the acronym that was created by technocrats that have setup the "internet of things" that will eventually enslave humanity to their needs. Support the show

If you follow me on Instagram - which you should - you will see that I am getting lit on fire right now by conservatives for debunking Newsmax's claim that DirecTV dropped them over their conservative values. This claim is simply not true. Newsmax wanted DirecTV to pay them and DirecTV said they did not have enough subscribers to warrant it. Despite DirecTV currently having Fox News and The First, Newsmax fabricated a conspiracy of censorship and plenty of conservatives are buying it. Similarly, there is a national egg shortage that has no shortage of theories explaining it. Some popular conservative commentators are claiming COVID vaccines are responsible while others say a government conspiracy is afoot to starve the population. I am lately perpetually disappointed in a conservative movement that claims to value truth while buying into conspiracies aimed at flaming their preconceived notions. If truth still matters, it should matter all the time. Here's what I mean...

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In this episode, Kathy shares her method and tips for freezing fresh chicken eggs. Recipes Find the complete method for Freezing Chicken Eggs Recipes mentioned in this podcast: Lemon Curd Meringue Cookies Chocolate Chip Cookies In this episode you'll learn: Why I'm freezing eggs Three types of eggs to freeze - whole eggs mixed, egg whites, egg yolks If you can freeze a whole egg in the shell If you can freeze a whole egg out of the shell How long frozen eggs last What needs to be added to egg yolks to stabilize the yolks

Good morning and Happy Monday from the farm! Welcome to another episode of Thinking Outside The Soil! Where I talk about topics related to the farmers and ranchers that use hydroponic practices to grow the crops and creatures we need to eat. Today's episode is about chicken eggs and some of the benefits I've seen... If you've enjoyed this or any previous episodes, hit subscribe and tap the bell to turn on notifications. To learn more about how hydroponic fodder helps farmers save water, improve livestock quality, and become better stewards, check out thinkingoutsidethesoil.com. If you head over there, you can get a free copy of my book, 'Thinking Outside The Soil. All I ask is you take care of the hard shipping costs. Get you're copy today, and don't miss out on becoming part of the next agricultural revolution.  Thank you for being here on another episode of TOTS. Take care, and have a lovely day! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sean-short/message

Rev. Warren Woerth debunks the recent web story about creating a dinosaur from a chicken egg.

When Harry Met Meghan S03 19 As the England football squad make their way home. (Yes - They're coming home) Av and Steve discuss the lack of Chicken Eggs and Turkeys as well as the Netflix Series we are all talking about. Instead of strikes, inflation, energy bills and the fact that it's colder inside than outside! Available on apple podcasts, Spotify, google you could even watch them on youtube. Just search “Talking 2 Our Soles” on your socials. Alternatively. Click below and never miss a show againhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3a7uHGB6NYIdn-HCCr6alQ?sub_confirmation=1

Caffeine addiction and Chicken eggs from a farm To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Caffeine addiction and Chicken eggs from a farm--plus warm up To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Concern over lead levels in chicken eggs sparks action from Mount Isa health authorities

The ultimate foodie day with a wise friend. And of course the chicken eggs

EPISODE 125: TRUE CRIME WEEK! HELLO KITTY, CHICKEN EGGS, AND A TORTELLINI TORTOISE . Mel tells us all about The Hello Kitty Murders in Hong Kong in 1999. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gothandbougiepodcast/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/gothandbougiepodcast/support

Easter Origins, Pagan Traditions, Rabbits laying Chicken Eggs, The Exodus & Black People - TheAHNShow with Michael Imhotep 4-17-22 Support The African History Network through Cash App @ https://cash.app/$TheAHNShow  or PayPal @ TheAHNShow@gmail.com or http://www.PayPal.me/TheAHNShow or visit http://www.AfricanHistoryNetwork.com .   Class #1 Starts Saturday, 4-23-22, 2pm EST:  WATCH CLASSES ON DEMAND NOW!!! ‘Ancient Kemet (Egypt), The Moors & The Maafa: Understanding The Trans-Atlantic Slave Tradel', (LIVE 10 Week Online Course) REGISTER HERE: https://theahn.learnworlds.com/course/ancient-kemet-moors-maafa-trans-atlantic-slave-trade-feb-2022     Come join us in Detroit for the ONE AFRICA: Power in Unity Conference on Sat. April 30 - Sun. May 1, 2022. LIVE STREAMED Worldwide.     REGISTER HERE: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/one-africa-power-in-unity-2-day-conference-in-detroit-mi-tickets-291735176767?aff=MichaelImhotep

Incubating eggs is that next step to providing a full service of chickens on your own homestead. It is great because you can get chickens ever year and you don't have to keep buying them. Plus if some pandemic happens, new avian flu, you can still get chickens, with good biosecurity. This is something I have wanted to learn for a long time and I always thought there was some deep complicated thing about it. Turns out it is pretty simple. Check out this weeks episode as I talk about what it takes to incubate eggs. I also talk a bit about new projects, and some interesting lessons along the way.

Why cockroaches invariably are found dead on their backs; what happens to old and previous Covid-19 variants; why do I see myself differently in photographs compared with when I look in the mirror; how do chickens produce eggs; what powers deep space probes; why do some people snore, especially after a few drinks; and why is yawning contagious? Dr Chris Smith and Lester Kiewit have the solutions! Like this podcast? Please help us by supporting the Naked Scientists

Why cockroaches invariably are found dead on their backs; what happens to old and previous Covid-19 variants; why do I see myself differently in photographs compared with when I look in the mirror; how do chickens produce eggs; what powers deep space probes; why do some people snore, especially after a few drinks; and why is yawning contagious? Dr Chris Smith and Lester Kiewit have the solutions! Like this podcast? Please help us by supporting the Naked Scientists

Although the FDA doesn't concern itself with egg producers with less than 3000 birds, did you know your state might have laws about selling the spare eggs your chicken flock produces? Learn more about this potentially hazardous food. Check out our accompanying blog post for helpful links in your own research Visit our blog http://somekindoffarm.com for more helpful tips in researching rules and regulations. Follow us on Instagram @somekindoffarm

This is just a fun bonus podcast that gets a little crazy at the end. Side note we listen to the ending 4 times and had tears...

Another great show coming your way! The boys are back to run through our sports dump, top 5 draft, did you knows, and dumb thoughts. The episode ends with the boys showing off just how smart we really are (spoiler alert, we're not...). Grab a cold one and enjoy! Follow us on social media! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shedsomelitepod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/shedsomelite Email: shedsomelitepodcast@gmail.com Leave us a message: https://anchor.fm/shedsomelite-44/message --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shedsomelite-44/support

In this weeks episode we go over all things fast food! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/thedisgruntledsailor/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thedisgruntledsailor/support

There as been lots of controversy on the health impact of eating eggs but some recent good studies suggest we may finally be reaching consensus.

This episode is going to be discussing chicken eggs. It wil be diccusing phantom and full size chicken egg production, what size eggs will be, why get bantam chickens and many other questions. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

As the country grapples with the bird flu outbreak, the Food Safety and Standards Authority of India (FSSAI) said that properly-prepared and cooked poultry meat and eggs are safe to eat. In a guidance note on safe practices for handling, processing and consumption of poultry meat and eggs during bird flu outbreak, it has advised consumers to not consume half-boiled eggs or under-cooked chicken. Listen in --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/business-line/message

Today we hear how Susie was actually excited to talk to someone on an airplane, & why Sarah thinks it was a miracle. We hear how zoom is causing people to feel bad about themselves. We find out how one Black influencer got Instagram to change their double standards toward breasts. We learn what a dinosaur butthole looks like, & realize why humans actually have a pretty good b-hole situation in comparison. Sarah reveals why she cannot eat chicken and eggs in the same meal. We discuss our lives' "quantum leap moments."

Why does sugar get onion smells off my skin? Are aluminium cooking pots harmful to health? Why don't hail stones make holes in leaves? What causes heart palpitations? If we all went swimming at the same time, by how much would the sea level rise? Why are covid swabs so long? How are fibre optic data transmission rates so high? Why can I hear my own heart in my ears? Join Dr Chris Smith and 567 CapeTalks Koketso Sachane to find out... Like this podcast? Please help us by supporting the Naked Scientists

Why does sugar get onion smells off my skin? Are aluminium cooking pots harmful to health? Why don't hail stones make holes in leaves? What causes heart palpitations? If we all went swimming at the same time, by how much would the sea level rise? Why are covid swabs so long? How are fibre optic data transmission rates so high? Why can I hear my own heart in my ears? Join Dr Chris Smith and 567 CapeTalks Koketso Sachane to find out... Like this podcast? Please help us by supporting the Naked Scientists

This week I talk about bringing home a new pet, taking care of a rodent problem, and factory farmed chicken eggs. Plus the "Cluck-Mazing Chicken Facts" segment! There are also a few other small things that I'm probably forgetting! Pull up a chair and listen in! Go to my website using this link: https://thechucklingchicken.wordpress.com

Are you wondering how to candle chicken eggs for a successful hatch? Wondering why you should or when? You have to listen to this episode. It's a game changer and a complete guide for learning about candling chicken eggs.    Go Here for the Show Notes Save it Here to Pinterest

Want to know how to Incubate Chicken Eggs so you can hatch some baby chicks? Learning how to Incubate Chicken Eggs is a fun process. If you're wanting to experience the entire process of raising chickens, then look no further from learning to hatch your own. This episode will help you learn how to successfully hatch chicken eggs using an incubator. Find the Show Notes Here Save This Episode Here to Pinterest

Chicken eggs, supreme court

What is one of the most popular phrases from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy? Don't Panic! Jake and Carl talk this week in episode 177 about how this simple phrase relates to business. They share a couple of stories related to not panicking while running their design businesses. It's important to look at the big picture and to keep a level head no matter what happens. Carl has some interesting news about the Dunkin' Donuts brand and Jake shares news about an upcoming Adobe conference. Lastly they share their Rookie Recommendations for the week. Previous Episodes Referenced Rookie Designer 168 - Ostrich Eggs and Chicken Eggs (https://www.rookiedesigner.com/rd168) Rookie Designer 176 - Moving On (https://www.rookiedesigner.com/rd176) Design News: Dunkin' Donuts is dropping the 'Donuts' from its name, despite the fact it helped invent the word 'donut' (https://www.businessinsider.com/dunkin-drops-donuts-but-invented-word-2018-9) Adobe Summit 2019 (https://summit.adobe.com/na/) Rookie Recommendations: Jake - Short Film: Alike (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQjtK32mGJQ&feature=youtu.be) Carl - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy | Netflix (https://www.netflix.com/title/70021632) The Client Attraction Mindset by Taughnee Link to Book - The Client Attraction Mindset (https://gumroad.com/a/212644979) Interview with Taughnee - Rookie Designer Podcast Episode 169 (https://www.rookiedesigner.com/rd169) Taughneed Business Website - www.endeavorcreative.com

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This week Carl and Jake talk about why it is important not to rely on a single large client and why it's important to have a variety of clients. They talk about their own client diversification from small to large, from long term contracts to single small projects. Jake brings some interesting news from software company Serif about their Affinity programs. Lastly they both bring their weekly Rookie Recommendations. Design News: Graphic Design App 'Affinity Designer' Launches for iPad With Apple Pencil Support (https://www.macrumors.com/2018/07/11/affinity-designer-launches/) Affinity Publisher is coming (https://affinity.serif.com/en-us/publisher/) Rookie Recommendations: Carl - Travefy App (https://travefy.com/trip-plans-app) Jake - Business Wars Podcast (https://wondery.com/shows/business-wars/)

LH 143: Everything you want to know about chicken eggs - From color to preservation, safety and more It doesn’t matter if you raise your own backyard chickens or if you’re a consumer of organic, farm-fresh eggs – there is always more to learn about eggs! In this episode, host Theresa Loe brings on author Jennifer Sartell to discuss everything we might want to know about chicken eggs. From the colors we can have, to the best practices in egg storage...we get into it all! You will learn: Which breeds lay the most colorful eggs What we are probably getting if buy an “Araucana” chick Why Easter Eggers are a fun choice Does ear-lobe color really determine egg color How to test an egg for freshness without cracking it open How to preserve eggs when you have too many Should we wash our eggs or not Will we die if we leave our eggs on the counter And so much more…  As always, links to everything mentioned is included in the show notes for today's episode. Just go to www.LivingHomegrown.com/143 for more info including a full downloadable transcript of the show. This episode was brought to you by Theresa's Living Homegrown Institute - which is her farm fresh membership. If you'd like to learn more about how to live a farm fresh lifestyle no matter how small your garden space, go to www.LivingHomegrown.com/PATH to get her free PDF download of your farm fresh success path.

  In this classic episode of MOTHER EARTH NEWS and Friends, our guests discuss the darlings of the barnyard, ducks: what to feed them, how to house them, their behavior and what they bring to the table.     Here is a collection of related articles you may enjoy: 9 Reasons Why Raising Ducks Might Be a Better Option Than Chickens The Homestead Guide to Domesticated Ducks Incubating Duck Eggs Successfully The Pros & Cons of Eating Duck Eggs vs Chicken Eggs   Find our Guests Books in the MOTHER EARTH NEWS Store Pure Poultry Intro Heritage Breeds   Thank you Brinsea for Sponsoring this episode!   To see more podcasts, visit our MOTHER EARTH NEWS and Friends page!  Check out the MOTHER EARTH NEWS FAIR page for an opportunity to see our podcast guest live! The Mother Earth News Urban Homesteading Podcast is a production of Ogden Publications

You have a coop full of chickens and you're wondering if it's time to set out on the adventure of selling farm fresh eggs. Let's take a look at some of the pros and cons that come along with the decision to sell chicken eggs from your homestead. (Don't want to read all the words? This blog post is also a podcast—just press the triangle play button on the little black bar at the top of this post!) Reasons to sell chicken eggs Free eggs/Extra income If you work things correctly, deciding to sell chicken eggs from your homestead can help cover the cost of your own eggs—essentially creating a situation where the eggs you personally use are free. In some locations, selling chicken eggs may bring you extra money above and beyond your cost. Responsibility Kids learn that money can be earned from work, and they see the process of caring for the chickens, collecting the eggs, and selling those to earn a little money. These real life skills can be honed early when you let your kids help sell chicken eggs. If your kids are old enough, you can even "put them in charge" of your homestead's egg business. Build a customer base When you decide to sell chicken eggs, it's an easy way to draw customers in for other items you might eventually sell from your homestead. Just like chickens seem to be the gateway animal, eggs can be the gateway product. Things to consider if you decide to sell chicken eggs... There are rules to follow There is a big difference between selling a couple dozen chicken eggs from your coop to your friends, and selling several dozen a week at local farmers' markets. Be aware of the rules about selling eggs where you live and do business. Finding customers can be tough In order to successfully sell chicken eggs, you need customers. The best set up is having lots of customers with little competition—which can be hard to come by in the country where everyone and their neighbor has extra eggs to sell. If you live in an area where people will pay $6 a dozen, or you're willing to drive to those people—and you don't have 13 other small farms trying to sell to those same customers—then you've got an advantage to this whole egg thing. But many people I've come across have a rough time finding enough regular, reliable customers to do more than cover the cost of their own eggs, let alone make extra money doing it. It's an ever-changing game of numbers When deciding to sell chicken eggs from your farm, there are some numbers you need to consider. How many chickens do you have, how many eggs do they lay a week, and how much does it cost to feed those chickens?  Next, how many eggs do you need to sell per week to a) break even b) cover the cost of your own eggs, or c) make a profit? Now, what do you think about those numbers? Are you considering selling more eggs? Does that require getting more hens? How much will it cost to feed more hens? If your hens free range, they will cost less to feed. But free range hens don't always lay their eggs in the coop, which means egg hunts—and potentially less eggs found. When our chickens were free ranged and we sold eggs, if we found a random nest out in the woods or in the hayloft, we'd keep those eggs for ourselves, but not sell them to customers. I had no way of knowing how old those eggs were, and without candling them, I wouldn't know if someone had been sitting on them at one point. It's one thing if I break open a bad egg or half developed chick. But if my customers do, that's no good at all. More questions to consider: What do you do when chickens flat out stop laying consistently? Do you get more chickens or do you cut your amount of customers? What do you do when you buy more chickens and suddenly have more eggs than customers? How much do you need to charge per dozen to make your egg business worth running? And, more importantly, will customers in your area pay those prices? Dealing with customers can be tricky

In this episode of MOTHER EARTH NEWS and Friends, our guests discuss the darlings of the barnyard, ducks: what to feed them, how to house them, their behavior and what they bring to the table. Thank you to Brinsea for sponsoring this podcast episode!  Here is a collection of related articles you may enjoy: 9 Reasons Why Raising Ducks Might Be a Better Option Than Chickens The Homestead Guide to Domesticated Ducks Incubating Duck Eggs Successfully The Pros & Cons of Eating Duck Eggs vs Chicken Eggs   Find our Guests Books in the MOTHER EARTH NEWS Store Pure Poultry Intro Heritage Breeds   Check out the MOTHER EARTH NEWS Bookstore for more resources that may pique your interests! To see more podcasts, visit our Mother Earth News and Friends page! Check out the MOTHER EARTH NEWS FAIR page for an opportunity to see our podcast guest live!  The Mother Earth News and Friends podcast is a production of Ogden Publications.

this week the team discuss   Growing drugs in chicken eggs, policing pollution from the skies, and why you're less likely to die if your surgeon is female.   @GCWeirdScience   #GeekChicWeirdScience

HTF 028: Chicken Eggs and Chasin' Dreams In this episode Amy Pearl sits down with Henlight Co-Founder Edward Silva.  Edwards unique story highlights the path that some entrepreneurs take when entering into prize based competitions, in this case the Thought For Food Challenge.  Interestingly, Edward’s journey with the Thought For Food Challenge did not end with his team’s victory.  Instead, along with a small team of enthusiastic volunteers, they expanded the reach of this challenge worldwide, inspiring innovative ideas from young people across the globe.     Host Amy Pearl, Executive Director, Hatch Innovation   Guests Edward Silva, Co Founder of Henlight   In this episode you’ll learn Edwards story, and the way he drew on his own experiences to come up with a novel innovation. How the Thought For Food Challenge incentivized the innovations behind Henlight. The story of Edward’s journey after winning the challenge, and how an ambassador network allows Thought For Food to expand their global reach. Examples of winners and innovations from the Thought For Food Challenge. How incentive based prizes inspire innovations in areas that may be lacking new ideas.   More about Edward Silva I believe in leveraging the power of technology to create a more food secure world. As a Prize Developer at XPrize and co-founder of Henlight – a solar powered solution to help small-scale poultry farmers – I actively support building a bridge to a more abundant future by leveraging appropriate technology. Throughout my career, I have been afforded the opportunity to participate in an array of activities in the U.S. and abroad related to food, agriculture, and renewable/natural resources . Winning the 2013 Thought for Food Challenge, being selected as U.S. Delegate for the Y20 Summit, studying international agricultural development at the University of California, Davis and most recently serving as Executive Director of Thought For Food, have allowed me to gain a unique global perspective on how to develop products and solutions in a more creative, open, and innovative way. Links to Resources Mentioned XPrize The Thought For Food Challenge Henlight

The chicken teams up with the disgruntled horse and rooster to recapture her stolen eggs. https://ia601502.us.archive.org/27/items/StoryBeforeBedPre2017/Chicken%20Eggs.mp3 Download

Episode 5 – In this episode we try to make sense of backyard chicken laws. [hr] Show Notes Chickens and Dogs Suzy has been introducing our twelve week old Australian Shepherd puppy, Shep, to our chickens as they run around after work. Our previous Aussie, Yeager, was really good at protecting the flock from predators, […]

In this Research Roundup episode we summarise three recent research papers published by Institute members. First we discuss Maureen Bain’s recent work examining the extent to which bacteria may pass through the shells of the chicken eggs we use for food. We then chat about Colin Selman’s recent paper showing that dietary antioxidant supplements may […]

Full Metal Chicken Eggs Friday, June 13th, 2008Now Available! FMCE in PODCAST - All the funny none of the reading!Click here: http://www.archive.org/download/Fmce13/Fmce13.mp3Warning: Content is not “work friendly” so headphones are recommended.For those of you using iTunes, or any other podcast software you can subscribe to the podcast: http://feeds.feedburner.com/FullMetalChickenEggs.Did you ever notice how busy you can be when your boss has nothing for you to do?Thanks and Enjoy!FMC"I bought a dictionary and the first thing I looked up was the word 'dictionary'. It said, 'You're an asshole.'"-Demetri MartinJust RememberWhen you have a 'I Hate My Job' day, [even if retired you have those sometimes] try this: On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement: 'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized.' Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, 'I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.' HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!Source: bounce-jokes2u.comAnti-climax – that’s what my uncle was good at!-George CarlinAfter what I wrote last week about weddings, wedding plans and wedding planners, I decided to look up those topics on wiki to see what they said. Wedding, according to Wikipedia is described as FUCK STEVE!!!Also, you can go from thong underwear to Bill Clinton in two clicks on Wikipedia.I think there should be at least one game where every time a team increases the score the person that did so can punch any one of the opposing team members once. I know that would make curling more fun.For more of FMCE and to view past issues or to listen to old podcasts please visithttp://fullmetalchickeneggs.blogspot.com/For the podcast just click the title of the issue.

Hi how are you all today? Hope things are going well? What…..you want jokes? Is that all I am to you……..something for your amusement. I have feelings too you know……what if I don’t want to tell any today? What would you do then? Well fortunately for you I know my place…..and that’s trying week after week to make whatever it is your eating or drinking right now come out your nose. SO toss you quarters up on the table and watch this monkey go.EnjoyFMCJoan: “You know, my ex never came right out and criticized my cooking. He would just make snide remarks.”Mary: “Like what?”Joan: “He'd look at his plate and ask, "Was the dog not hungry?" “Source: Jokes2U 03/31/2008These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.''Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They stretch after awhile.''If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.''If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.''Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.''You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?''Yes,sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?''Warning! You want a warning? OK., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.''The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?''Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.''Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.''In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC..''How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?''No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.''I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'AND THE WINNER IS....'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here..'Source: Random Email…The husband had just finished the book "Man of the House". He stormed into the house and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a tasty dessert afterward. Then, after dinner and dessert, you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" His wife replied, "The fucking funeral director.""Tradition is what you get when you don't have the time or the money to do it right."-Kurt Herbert Adler (1905-1988)These are a few posts on the penny-arcade forum under the thread called strange and embarrassing.There have been about 3 times that I've found myself in the Giggle Loop with my wife. It usually starts with her going in for the passionate kiss, and me finding myself laughing on the inside- for no reason. Then, the whole "glasses on top of glasses" image pops into my head, and I start shaking. She breaks off the hotness, and glares at me- and then I just lose it.It usually ends with her saying "god damn it" and walking off.That happened to me once, but I kept managing to get it under control, at which point she would try to kiss me again. Of course, this would cause me to laugh uncontrollably once again. It went on for at least 5 minutes before she finally walked away in disgust. Sigh.When I first started dating my ex-wife, Saturday Night Live was on while we were having fun and Kevin Spacey was host and was doing an impression of Christopher Walken as Han Solo. I was lucky I ever got to have sex with her again.She's. Fast enough. For you. Old MAN...Remember that XKCD comic with the Power Rangers song from last Monday? Well, 2 days before that, a friend of mine was having sexy time with his girlfriend, when the Imperial March starts playing on her computer. Apparently it kind of killed the mood for a bit.My response was "Dude, you should have just started saying in a really deep voice, "Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? I AM your daddy!"orbusted out some "We got death stars!"This post was followed by the following"I can't find the exhaust port! I can't find the exhaust port!!!!!!!!!!!!!""But it's two meters wide!"That would get you one hell of a slap.That's no moon...I'm trying to work in a Jek Porkins reference, but I can't quite pull it out."Staaaay on target, staaaay on target!"Loosen up!"Negative! Negative! It didn't go in! It just impacted on the surface!"It came from... Behind.... yyyeaaarghh....The moral of these stories is that I need to learn to suppress memories much more efficiently.-GIM Penny Arcade ForumKagera wrote:“You know what's strange? Having people from your childhood telling you what an asshole you were when you thought you were the nice guy. Friends even. And then going through all your memories and finding out they were right, you were a douche. Then realizing you probably still are a douche.Aquabat wrote: Yeah, when I was 4 my penis was my second favourite toy. My first was my Thunder Punch He-man. The best moments of my childhood was when I combined both of those.Stilist wrote: You punched your own wang?Aquabat wrote: Thunder punchedAnd here is the post that I will be submitting to that threadThe summer before this incident I was working in the restaurant of this local amusement park and my job consisted of taking out the garbage and sweeping up. The garbage bags were pretty heavy and I got pretty good at throwing full garbage bags (20 pounds) up into the compactor (about 7 feet up and 10 feet away) after the quick realization that 7 day old fast food and 30 degree heat gave the area around it a smell that was on the high end of the funk-o-meter.Now on with the story it's a year later and I'm cleaning the bathrooms - a much better job than cleaning up food (better pay, better hours and better boss) - and it's the men’s room so far less mess. Anyway this day one of the guys says he has to leave early and asks for me to close up the bathrooms for him. I say ok but make arrangements for him to close for me a night later. So I'm alone and I'm on the last of the 4 bathrooms, the one that is closest to the punch clock but usually the worst to clean up because it's closest to the water park. Everything’s done and I just need to change the garbage in the change room. Now the change room has a baby change table so the change room garbage always has 5 or 10 dirty diapers making it far heavier then the others (the other generally just have a few pieces of food but are full of wet paper towel) which was why I left it for last. So, I change it out and it being a long weekend, it is a bit fuller than normal - it's about 15 pounds of dead weight in a very small package. Now the last thing I need to do is walk the garbage bag full of baby poo over to the gate, open the gate, drop the garbage bag on the ground anywhere on the other side and punch out. I don't even have to stop, there is no way a normal person can screw this up.But I'm a teenager, and I’m male, and most of all I’m ME. Normal is what I swore I would be after I did this. So I'm walking towards the gate (10 feet high) and my brain says to me"I bet we could get this bag over the gate.""NO!” I say back to my brain."Why not?” says my brain “These bags aren’t any heavier than the ones from last year, and besides you've been working out.""Ok, you’ve got a point," I say."And that fence isn't that high and this thing is double bagged...come on you can do it or have you gone soft, you pussy?”"Yah I can" I think.But if I'm going to do this, if I'm going go through with this stupendous act of bad judgment then by god, I'm going to do it right.So looking around and making sure that no one was in the immediate area I grabbed the bag with both hands and give it a good 720 degree spin around me let go AND…….HELL YA it clears the fence.But I don't hear the expected, satisfying thump of the bag landing on the other side. So running up to the fence I find that my boss is now occupying the space directly under the garbage bag and that is when my body took over and ran my ass the long way around to my car and I took off, swearing the whole time, and trying to figure out what to do from the safety of my parents couch.The next day the guy that I took over for got fired. Turns out that he didn't punch out and my boss just assumed that I had forgotten to. And from that day forth I've been trying to be normal. And then this happened…FMCAfter doing my Taxes this weekend I had this ideaAre taxes a form of charitable giving?Well it could be let me check off a few things about taxes.First, they go to a large, non profit organization (a.k.a. “The Government).As we all know, the government doesn't make money - those who run it do - but the actual government not so much, very much like a charity.Those who run the biggest charities have huge salaries much like the government.Most of our taxes goes towards a lot of causes and also office work and facilities - a lot like charities.Money goes to flood victims, feeding the poor, education, health care, infrastructure of all of this, and I'm willing to bet, a few other countries that need it. Much like other charities.You can give more taxes to the charity known as “The Government” by buying booze (I think 50% of alcohol's price is hidden tax) and lottery tickets. Now if only we could get the government to fund the right things – we could all go on a drinking bender and wake with the hangover from hell knowing that somewhere, underprivileged children were getting better education because of it. - FMC

Full Metal Chicken Eggs Friday, March 28, 2008Now Available! FMCE in PODCAST - All the funny none of the reading!Click here: http://www.archive.org/download/Fmce2/Fmce2.mp3Warning: Content is not “work friendly” so headphones are recommended.For those of you using iTunes, or any other podcast software you can subscribe to the podcast: http://feeds.feedburner.com/FullMetalChickenEggs.Thanks and Enjoy!FMCTwo old men were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.One leaned over the other and said, "Cripes! life is boring, we never have any fun these days. For two bucks, I'd take my clothes off and streak through the flower show!"“You're on!" said the other old fellow, holding up two dollars.As fast as he could, the first old man fumbled his way out of his clothes and completely naked, streaked through the front door of the town hall.Waiting outside, his friend heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause. The naked old man burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd."How did it go?" asked his friend."Great!" he said, "I WON FIRST PRIZE AS A DRIED ARRANGEMENT!!!"Source: Jokes2U 03/22/2008Nobody ever said teenagers were smart. An 18-year-old in Wisconsin had seven dump truck loads of snow delivered by the city to his parent's front yard so he could build a 34-foot long igloo. Dan Meyer said he used his 10 years of snow construction experience to form the snow into a massive snow fort that reaches above the first story of his parents' home."I was just amazed by how much one load was," Meyer said. "Then I piled it up and called them for more loads." Jeff Harding, assistant superintendent of public works for Neenah, said the city occasionally gets requests for truck- loads of snow, but this was the first instance he knew about where the snow went toward a construction project. "We backed up in the front yard and dumped away, just like we would at our dump site," he said. "It's really like, 'My God, what are you doing with all this snow?'"Dan's father was reported as saying that if all that snow floods the damned basement when it melts he is going to slap the taste out of Dan's mouth.Source: Bizarre News 03/22/2008With the Supreme Court trying to determine whether the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution really says that we can keep and bear arms, the following is quite interesting...1. The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.2. Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000. (Calculation: Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171. Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services).3. The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.4. The number of accidental gun deaths per year is 1,500. (Calculation: The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .0000188. Statistics courtesy of FBI)Therefore, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.Source: Bizarre News 03/22/2008Headlines I'd Like to SeeHells’ Angel Raped During Pride ParadePresident Gored by BullSenior arrested for stealing from and mistreating staff at old age homeRapist Raped by Police OfficerTrump Horrible Lay Says Ex-WifeHugh Hefner Dead - His Penis For Sale on eBayMcDonalds Sells Deep Fried S*&T – LiterallyFirst Iraq Strip Club OpensIraq Strip Club Still Standing After 1000 DaysVatican Rescinds Ban on Birth Control and Masturbation; says the pope “This April Fools’ joke has gone on long enough”Pedophile Killed by Chuckey CheeseDrunk Driver Kills Drunk Driver - No Charges LaidMen and Women have a lot of similarities that no one talks about. Like when your at a party and some one falls asleep both sexes say “SSSHHHH quiet."The difference is that men will then say, “"Someone get a camera I have an idea."Quick observation about the guy who let his girlfriend stay on the toilet for 5 years: That is the definition of low maintenance. Why is everyone trying to say what a bad guy the boyfriend of that chick was?. I think this guy should be praised - five years and they still call him her boyfriend. Jesus, my girl is on the can for 20 minutes and I'm looking for another girl to bang. And he didn't leave her after a week! I would have sold the house and walled up the bathroom. And after 5 years she wouldn't be referred to my girlfriend she would be that crazy bitch.For more of FMCE and to view past issues or to listen to old podcasts please visithttp://fullmetalchickeneggs.blogspot.com/For the podcast just click the title of the issue.

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?""We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!""TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?""We'll be at the downtown International Marriott.""That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?""We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.""That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. You'll be at the back of St Peter's Square and from that distance he'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome."It was wonderful," explained the man. "Not only were we on time in one of TWA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!""Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didn't get to see the Pope."“Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me.""Really?" asked the Barber. "What'd he say?"He said, "Where'd you get the shitty haircut?"Source: Jokes2U 03/13/2008I saw a road sign that said, "Need help? Call Jesus. 1-800-555-3787."So I did. Twenty minutes later a Mexican showed up with his tow truck.Source: Laffaday 03/12/08A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra. Eager to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them. Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off. Unfortunately, his Viagra kicks in just as his wife comes home and it is hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted. "What happened?" the man asks. "You were in there for hours and yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?" The cockatiel pants, "Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs a frozen chicken?"Source: Laffaday 03/12/08Bizarre Colonoscopy Humor[A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies.]1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"3. "Can you hear me NOW?"4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"Source: 03/15/08FACT: Bestiality is no longer legal in The Netherlands. It took 2 years of debate before making it illegal this week. They were responsible for 65% of the worlds animal porn.If there is anything that nuns love as much as Jesus it's 80's Hair Metal-FMC (quote from a short story written about a car accident involving the incredible Hulk, a band tour bus and a mini van filled with nuns. If you ask nicely I might include the full version next week)Every time I see a commercial I can usually come up with a way to make it better. This does not include the new Diamond Shreddies commercial. I would like to meet the guy that came up with that and compliment him on the size of his balls.“Mighty putty does it all - stick metal to glass, plastic to brick, skin to wood. Take Johnson here he takes a nap every day at 10:00. All we need to do is cut a piece off knead to active and place between his head and the desk.”(5 minutes pass)Back to Johnson waking up realizing he can't lift his head and start screaming.Now the host yelling, "NOW JOHNSON WILL NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION TO BECOME UNSTUCK – THAT’S THE POWER OF MIGHTY PUDDY!"For more of FMCE and to view past issues or to listen to old podcasts please visithttp://fullmetalchickeneggs.blogspot.com/For the podcast just click the title of the issue.

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"-Isaac AsimovA magician calls a man up on stage, hands him a mallet and instructs the guy to hit him as hard as possible on the head. The magician then proceeds to put his head down on a wooden block. The man shrugs his shoulders and takes a mighty swing.Three years later, the magician wakes up from a coma in the hospital and goes..."Taa-Daa!""How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?"Go back up to the previous one-liner and reread it word by word.I’m putting this joke in not because it’s overly funny but because I think that I’ve actually done this. Two IT guys were talking in a bar after work."Guess what," says the first IT guy, "yesterday, I met this gorgeous blonde in a bar.""What did you do?" says the other IT guy."Well, I invited her over to my place, we had a couple of drinks, we got into the mood and then she suddenly asked me to take all her clothes off.""You're kidding me!" says the second IT guy."I took her miniskirt off, and then I lifted her and put her on my desk next to my new laptop.""Really? You got a new laptop?"I was looking stuff up online when I found this on the CDC (center for Disease control) website:“All persons who are obese or overweight should try not to gain additional weight. In addition, those who are obese or who are overweight with other risk factors should consider losing weight.”“Bill Fabrey, co-owner of Amplestuff in Bearsville, N.Y., has been thinking big since 1988, when he started his mail-order business specializing in products for the larger set.”FMC Note: PEOPLE ARE NOT “LARGE SET.” Large Set is something used to describe your baseball card collection."Quantas Problem Solving"After every flight, Qantas' pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, & then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots & the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.P: Something loose in cockpit.S: Something tightened in cockpit.P: Dead bugs on windshield.S: Live bugs on backorder.P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.S: Evidence removed.P: DME volume unbelievably loud.S: DME volume set to more believable level.P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.S: That's what they're for.P: IFF inoperative.S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.P: Suspected crack in windshield.S: Suspect you're right.P: Number 3 engine missing.S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.P: Aircraft handles funny.S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, & be serious.P: Target radar hums.S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.P: Mouse in cockpit.S: Cat installed.P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.S: Took hammer away from midget.Lost within my own mind and quite happy to be so.-FMCFMC Answers Another Philosophical Question:Q: "Is the glass half full or half empty"A: "Which glass? Where I don't see one"A: "HEY WHO DRANK HALF THE WATER!"FMC solution to the Pot Problem:I recently came up with the prefect solution to the marijuana problem. For those of you with no clue what the problem with pot is we're in the same boat. But apparently some people think it's addictive. Well, so is smoking, porn, alcohol, porn, smoking, gambling, TV, smoking, the internet, eating, alcohol and porn, but only 2 of those thing kills people directly AND indirectly. And I got news for you - they all can ruin lives but chances are if when you step up and spin that addiction wheel and it lands on pot it could have just as easily been alcohol, or heroin. Some people say it's a gateway drug and if you are one of those people please grab your mouse wrap it tightly around your neck and pull both ends until you reach a happy place. Alcohol is a gateway drug I'm betting way before pot, do you know anyone that tried pot with out going through a drinking phase?...I’M WAITING….of course you didn't! Anyways, my plan is fines. This solves a lot of problems.1) I didn't make it legal so it's against the law to posses, sell, and smoke it. So that makes the anti-drug people happy.2) More money for the government. That makes the government happy.3) It's moving along the path to be legal, which makes intelligent people happy, AND4) Less people in jail. (Which makes everyone happy).We could have fines for smoking, selling and possessing, and if your carrying more than a pound of the stuff on you everything gets seized and police are free to test it and resell it, and thus making more money for the local law enforcement and probably increase the number of police officers. Can we please get this done and move onto more important things?

For those of you using iTunes, or any other podcast software you can subscribe to the podcast http://feeds.feedburner.com/FullMetalChickenEggs.Thanks and Enjoy!FMCFull Metal Chicken EggsFriday, March 7, 2008How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hey! Who wants to rides bikes!Source: Laffaday 03/04/08“A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.'" -Steven WrightBizarre Warning Labels"This product not intended for use as a dental drill."-Found on an electric rotary tool."Caution: Do not spray in eyes."-Found on a can of underarm deodorant."Do not drive with sunshield in place."-Found on a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard."Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."-Found on a package of airline peanuts.“Not intended for highway use."-Found on a 13-inch wheel for a wheelbarrow.“Kills all kinds of insects. Warning: This spray is harmful to bees."-Found on a can of insecticide."WARNING: Contents flammable."-Found on a container of lighter fluid."Do not use orally."-Found on a toilet bowl cleaning brush."Please keep out of children."-Found on a butcher knife."Warning: Do not use on eyes."-Found in the manual for a heated seat cushion.‘Psycho Path' voted best U.S. street nameJudges for an online contest to determine the most unusual U.S. street name have settled on Psycho Path (do you get the feeling that, that sign gets stolen a lot), followed by Divorce Court. TheCarConnection.com's contest that ended earlier this month had more than 2,500 entries of verifiable street names.Psycho Path is a small private lane in Traverse City, MI, while Divorce Court is in Heather Highlands, PA. The third prize went to Farfrompoopen Rd., which the site editors said is the only way to get to Constipation Ridge in Story, AK. Several intersection combinations also got honourable mentions, including Nixon/Bluett, in Ann Arbor, MI, and the corner of Clinton and Fidelity, in Houston. There is also an intersection of Stroke and Acoma, in a retirement section of Lake Havasu, WI.Source: Bizarre NewsFMC Answers Philosophy QuestionsQ: "What would happen if an unstoppable force met an immovable object"A: "I'm beating someone will want their money back"Q: "What can first the chicken or the Egg"A: "The egg. I've heard that dinosaurs layed them but never heard of a prehistoric chicken."-FMCA guy in my office said this the other day:When picking a name for a son basically you want to pick one that isn’t easy to make fun of but with a daughter you’ve got a different problem. What you want to do is come up with a name, and then say out loud GENTLEMEN PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE (insert name here) and if it sounds good you might want to come up with something else.-FMCQuestion: Why is it then when someone is born under difficult or rare circumstances it is always a miracle but if some dies under the same criteria it's not given the same reverence. Just because things are bad doesn't make them any less miraculous. Like a woman in the middle of an earthquake gives birth while trapped under a fallen building with no help or medical attention is a miracle. But a rouge barcalounger that was sent into the upper atmosphere by a tornado two months ago, and has since managed to circumnavigate the globe twice, following the long lost migration route of the extinct saber tooth duck, that crushes a man who purchased the same one and just though “There’s no way I’m going to be able to find one cheaper” that is not a miracle?-FMCI’ve always wanted to place an ad in the Female seeking Male section of newspaper and see if anyone responds. I think that it would look something like this: 450lb chain smoking SWF willing to settle for less. Must be registered voter and have 10 teeth or more. Asians preferred.-FMCFor more of FMCE and to view past issues or to listen to old podcasts please visit http://fullmetalchickeneggs.blogspot.com/ for the podcast just click the title of the issue.

College for DummiesMany of you young persons out there are seriously thinking about going to college. (That is, of course, a lie. The only things you young persons think seriously about are loud music and sex. Trust me: these are closely related to college.) College is basically a bunch of rooms where you sit for roughly two thousand hours and try to memorize things. The two thousand hours are spread out over four years; you spend the rest of the time sleeping and trying to get dates. Basically, you learn two kinds of things in college:1. Things you will need to know in later life (two hours). These include how to make collect telephone calls and get beer and crepe-paper stains out of your pajamas.2. Things you will not need to know in later life (1,998 hours). These are the things you learn in classes whose names end in -ology, -osophy, -istry, -ics, and So on. The idea is, you memorize these things, then write them down in little exam books, then Forget them. If you fail to forget them, you become a professor and have to stay in college for the rest of your life.It's very difficult to forget everything. For example, when I was in college, I had to memorize -- don't ask me why -- the names of three metaphysical poets other than John Donne. I have managed to forget one of them, but I still remember that the other two were named Vaughan and Crashaw. Sometimes, when I'm trying to remember something important like whether my wife told me to get tuna packed in oil or tuna packed in water, Vaughan and Crashaw just pop up in my mind, right there in the supermarket.It's a terrible waste of brain cellsAfter you've been in college for a year or so, you're supposed to choose a major, which is the subject you intend to memorize and forget the most things about. Here is a very important piece of advice: Be sure to choose a major that does not involve Known Facts and Right Answers.This means you must *not* major in mathematics, physics, biology, or chemistry, because these subjects involve actual facts. If, for example, you major in mathematics, you're going to wander into class one day and the professor will say: "Define the cosine integer of the quadrant of a rhomboid binary axis, and extrapolate your result to five significant vertices." If you don't come up with *exactly* the answer the professor has in mind, you fail. The same is true of chemistry: if you write in your exam book that carbon and hydrogen combine to form oak, your professor will flunk you. He wants you to come up with the same answer he and all the other chemists have agreed on. Scientists are extremely snotty about this.So you should major in subjects like English, Philosophy, Psychology, and Sociology -- subjects in which nobody really understands what anybody else is talking about, and which involve virtually no actual facts. I attended classes in all these subjects, so I'll give you a quick overview of each:1. ENGLISH: This involves writing papers about long books you have read little snippets of just before class. Here is a tip on how to get good grades on your English papers: Never say anything about a book that anybody with any common sense would say. For example, suppose you are studying Moby-Dick. Anybody with any common sense would say that Moby-Dick is a big white whale, since the characters in the book refer to it as a big white whale roughly eleven thousand times. So in *your* paper, *you* say Moby-Dick is actually the Republic of Ireland. Your professor, who is sick to death of reading papers and never liked Moby-Dick anyway, will think you are enormously creative. If you can regularly come up with lunatic interpretations of simple stories, you should major in English.2. PHILOSOPHY: Basically, this involves sitting in a room and deciding there is no such thing as reality and then going to lunch. You should major in philosophy if you plan to take a lot of drugs.3. PSYCHOLOGY: This involves talking about rats and dreams. Psychologists are *obsessed* with rats and dreams. I once spent an entire semester training a rat to punch little buttons in a certain sequence, then training my roommate to do the same thing. The rat learned much faster. My roommate is now a doctor. If you like rats or dreams, and above all if you dream about rats, you should major in psychology.4. SOCIOLOGY: For sheer lack of intelligibility, sociology is far and away the number one subject. I sat through hundreds of hours of sociology courses, and read gobs of sociology writing, and I never once heard or read a coherent statement. This is because sociologists want to be considered scientists, so they spend most of their time translating simple, obvious observations into scientific-sounding code. If you plan to major in sociology, you'll have to learn to do the same thing. For example, suppose you have observed that children cry when they fall down. You should write: "Methodological observation of the sociometrical behavior tendencies of prematurated isolates indicates that a casual relationship exists between groundward tropism and lachrimatory, or 'crying,' behavior forms." If you can keep this up for fifty or sixty pages, you will get a large government grants.---Dave Berry (I think)"I think what went wrong with Christianity is exactly like what happens when you try to get your dog to look at something on TV. “Jesse pointed at God, and everybody just stared at his finger."---Frank MilesWHY AM I MARRIED?You have two choices in life:You can stay single and be miserable,Or,Get married and wish you were dead.At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?""Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted"Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."A Woman's PrayerDear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man, to love and to forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.---Random EmailFMC Oscar SpeechAnnouncer: "And the winner is… Brandon Coppes!"(acting shocked, Brandon walks towards the stage, receives his award and walks over to the orchestra pit)Brandon: "HEY YOU DOWN THERE! YEAH, I’M TALKING TO YOU PENCIL DICK - PUT THAT FUCKING STICK DOWN I'M GOING TO BE THANKING A LOT OF POEPLE AND DON'T WANT YOUR DUMBASS SCREWING THIS UP. THIS IS A SPECIAL MOTHER FUCKING MOMENT AND IF YOU RUIN IT FOR ME I’LL COME DOWN THERE AND JAM THIS OSCAR UP YOUR ASS"(Brandon walks back to the microphone)Brandon: "I would like to thank Jesus.."T-shirt Idea:A guitar hero Guitar picture on the front with the words“I play Guitar Hero on expert! Ask me to show you my fingering”FMC Perfume line up for single women:WD-40BondoBaconMoneyChicken Wing (Spicy and buffalo)and of course,SteakInterviewer : "Let me guess you were born to do this?"FMC: "No I was damaged to do this. When I was born I was fine what your seeing is the result of emotional damage, a horrible lack of self confidence, middle child syndrome, and a raging ego."

If your looking for old issues or want to share the podcast that’s attached please go to http://fullmetalchickeneggs.blogspot.com/"The next great civilization to arise was Ancient Greece, which came up with an exciting new governing concept called "democracy," from the Greek words dem, meaning "everybody gets to vote," and ocracy, meaning "except, of course women, slaves and poor people."---Dave Barry"The government announced that some voters will be allowed to vote online. That's going to be a tough choice: democracy or porn...democracy or porn."---Craig FergusonFMC: I swear this next thing actually happened.A Florida mother was arrested after police found her driving with beer buckled in the front seat but her toddler unrestrained in the back seat.Source: Bizarre News 02/09/08“I once made love to a female clown. It was weird because she twisted my penis into a poodle."---Dan WhitneyThe stranger someone looks the more likely they are not to do anything to you - that's really bad. For instance you never hear of a person being mugged by that chick with a dog collar, 12 inch spiked hair, a split tongue and so much leather that it looks like she just ripped the cow right out of its skin and modified it to fit. It's always people that look, well like me.---FMCNobody goes completely insane faster than a perfectly sane person, and if you don't get this don't worry and stay away from extremely stressful situations.---FMCFor a deodorant test instead of having these hockey stars come out and say how good it is for the 3-4 hours that they are playing, how about they do a real longevity test? That's what this stuff is advertising more and more (the stuff that I have says for 24 hour protection). Here's the test I want to see: grab a bum, wash them, down slather this stuff all over them, and send'em on their way. Then every night find them and take a whiff and see if this really stuff lasts.---FMCI'll take bull fighting seriously when the matador has spears in his back.---FMCThis next piece may be as uncomfortable as family dinner with my family when my grandpa uses the word darky to describe a black guy but what the hell I'm doing it anyway.Remember when that kid was suing Michel Jackson and he said that he could recognize Mike’s dick because of distinguishing characteristics? What's the big deal? I could do that. You know how I know that I could? Because if you give me a line-up of penises with Michael Jackson’s in there and it would be whitest member I've ever seen, I mean you've ever seen. Now I've seen a lot of dicks, like a lot a lot, like an uncomfortable amount, but come on I'm pretty sure everyone could match that cock to that man.---FMC