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Episode 45. Episode dedicated to great Hammond musician James Taylor, the godfather of Acid Jazz. You can listen to "Whenever I'm gone" from his first mod band, The Prisoners, and "Lulu" from the second album of The James Taylor Quartet**Puntata 45. Puntata dedicata al grande musicista Hammond James Taylor, il padrino dell'Acid Jazz. Si racconta brevemente della sua prima mod band, i Prisoners e quindi della sua attuale band, The James Taylor Quartet. Dei Prisoners si ascolta "Whenever I'm gone" e "Lulu" dal secondo album Wait a Minute dei JTQ
Chris Anderson chats with us about finding out what works for you, taking chances to try new things, and his journey of sharing his love of science with more people. More at www.teachbetter.com/podcast/chrisanderson Chris's Recommendations EdTech Tool: YouTube Books: "An Indigenous People’s History of the United States of America" by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz "The Golden Compass" by Phil Pullman Podcast: Ologies with Alie Ward Who to Follow on Instagram: @SciAroundCincy The Zoos, specifically @cincinnatizoo and @OregonZoo Also @weratedogs but you already knew that YouTube/Podcast/Website/Blog: It’s Lit from PBS Digital Studios Daily/Weekly/Monthly Routine: Crossword puzzles. Best piece of advice you've ever received: “Don’t be an idiot.” - Michael Scott. Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, "Would an idiot do that?" And if they would, I do not do that thing. Do something that you are good at because it will bring you joy and vice versa. Links to Connect With Chris Website: www.sciaroundcincy.com Twitter: @TheScienceJedi @SciAroundCincy Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/sciaroundcincy Instagram: @TheScienceJedi YouTube: Science Around Cincy --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teach-better-talk/message
First aired on Pulse 98.4 on Wednesday 13th May 2020 Playlist was Emma Kelly - Drunk Beth Macari - You Made My Baby Cry Be Charlotte - Lights Off ili - Breath Lloyd James Fay - Interview Idiocracy, Whenever I'm wrong, Echo Chanber Liam McClair - Better Side Concrete National - Figure It Out The Statler project - Stand & Wait The Ace - Oh Yeah! Johnny Graham - Knadgerhill Katie Palmer - Something New Def Robot - Claim Your Stake FILTHY TRICKS - LEAH Red Hearted Vibrations - Wildfire Echoes For The Airwaves - It's Funny How Shanghai Treason - Can't Even Hang A Man Right {A} Shïppa-63 - A Song for the Dark Times (Isolation Edit) Spray - You'll Never Be Forgiven SARAJEVO84 - LOST IN TRANSLATION Yard Arms - Mantra Hats Off Gentlemen It's Adequate - Chasing Neon
Welcome to the special Q&A episode! In this episode, I provide feedback, insights, and thoughts to a question that I receive a lot from my coaching clients and my girlfriends. This particular question is from my client Emilia. Question: "Anna, I'm with this guy and our energy is just so strong! Whenever I'm around him I just feel so pulled to him. I'm aroused. I'm present. It feels like once in a lifetime. But things are not exactly working between us... And my fear is that I will never ever be able to meet someone like that. And if he's not the one, then who is? So what if I never get to experience this at all! What do I do?" If you have any questions and would like my feedback, send me an email at anna@girlskill.com and I’ll make sure to reply! P.S. Sign up for the free, exclusive training from me on How to Start Attracting Committed Masculine Men By Mastering Feminine/Masculine Polarity to find out: • The #1 reason successful women are still single and can’t attract a committed masculine man (hint: it's not what you think) • How to break through the patterns of attracting unavailable or feminine men and find your blind spot so you start attracting the men you want • How to master the art of feminine/masculine polarity so you start feeling taken care of, claimed and finally be able to let go of control • How to get out of the "get the guy" mindset and instead move into your full feminine self and have the guy get you • Uncover The Lie of Female Success that’s keeping you stuck, exhausted and unfulfilled (in masculine energy all the time) so you can start living in freedom & joy • And much more… Sign up at girlskill.com/webinar
LEARN MORE ABOUT THE CONTENT DISCUSSED...• No Boss Talk: https://nobosstalk.com• Monday Morning Routine: https://www.bethholdengraves.com/routine• The Camp Elevate Facebook Group:https://thecampelevategroup.com• Beth’s Instagram: @bethholdengraves• Beth’s website: https://www.bethholdengraves.com• Profit HER Way Course: https://www.bethholdengraves.com/profit• Ray Higdon Interview:https://www.bethholdengraves.com/rank-makerKEYNOTES DISCUSSED:• Number one is standing on your own two feet and standing up and believing in what you are doing and how we can become confident and that's going to help you to recruit more people. (02:08)• The universe was telling me like you have so many people to help and this is going to be the way, this is the business model that will be the way, because I'm very creative. But that creativity sometimes gets me not crossing the red line. (05:31)• And I don't even want to call it a pitch because people can feel a pitch from a million miles away. But when someone talks to me, I am so, so, so sure that I need to share this message, that I need to help. (08:15)• You've got to do the work and then you've got to keep doing the work of, why you're grateful, why this is working, why you're doing this. To be in it for the long term by the little things, the details. (11:48)• You want to be connected with the people that have the same vision that you have. (16:55)WHEN DOES IT AIR...February 17, 2020EPISODE TRANSCRIPT...Beth:Welcome to ‘You’re Not the Boss of Me’. If you are determined to break glass ceilings and build it your way, this show is for you. I’m your host Beth Graves, and I am obsessed with helping you to not just dream it, but make the plan, connect the dots and create what you crave. Are you ready? Let’s get started.Hey bosses, welcome back to episode number 25, this is Beth. If we haven't met yet, thank you for just pressing play, putting me in your ear buds. My friend Jessica calls them Q-tips. She's like, my kid has Q-tips in his ears, and I literally thought he had Q-tips hanging out of his ears, but she was talking about him wearing his EarPods, what the heck? My kids are probably like mom, get with it. So anyway, you have chosen to listen to this podcast today for a reason and there are so many ways that we find them. I have had divine intervention of what I call the podcast scroll that literally shifted my entire way of showing up in my business because of one podcast. So, I do not take that lightly and I want to thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being with me today.So, I'm going to do a little introduction because I have so many new listeners. I just want to thank you for the downloads, for the reviews, for the people that are out there wearing their boss hats, for all of the campers over in Camp Elevate because this is really truly become a movement of supporting our sisterhood, of standing up and saying that it is okay to choose to build a business that feels aligned, that feels authentic, that doesn't require hustle and grind and it's okay to make more money doing it this way. And so today I want to talk with you about becoming the CEO and innovation versus duplication. Two really big words. I feel like those need to be vocabulary words. Did your kids ever do Wordly Wise? I remember Wordly Wise just to be like, why are everything like that? I can understand anything in a context.And that's probably why I tell so many stories. So like reading, you know, reading, learning with content clues. Well we're teaching reading for you teachers out there. So, I always like to give an example when I'm sharing with you a new idea or something that's not really a new idea that's just resurfaced. So today the big thing I'm going to teach you today or share with you and encourage you to lean into are two things. Number one is standing on your own two feet and standing up and believing in what you are doing and how we can become confident and that's going to help you to recruit more people. And I don't even like the word recruit. You're looking for people as the CEO that are going to share with you the same vision and are going to be a part of something that you're creating.So, I want to encourage you today, and I use the word recruit because honestly, it's a marketing word. So, I have a challenge that's coming up. It's going to be a free challenge. I think we are opening that up the second week of March and we'll make sure that you get on a list for that. It's going to be five days, and it's about recruiting. It's about how to get more people to say yes to what it is you have to offer. And I have some very unique ways that I do this, but I kept saying, I don't want to use the word recruit in the copy, but that's what we look for, right? So, recruit, I want you to think about this. I guess it's okay, but it's what we use in the industry. But I want you to think about this and this is the shift.This is your CEO shift. I want you to consider that you didn't just join this little thing, meaning stop hiding behind the curtain and stop having this conversation with, Oh, if you really understood, it's not like that. There’s people that really make money that does not sound like you have stepped into your power. So today if you're going to make the CEO shift, remember we’re talking about CEO shift in innovation versus duplication, and I believe that a team needs tools and techniques and strategies to duplicate, but I'm going to encourage you have one innovative piece of your business and we'll talk about that. But number one, the very first thing that you need to do is step into why you are going to say, I am proud and excited to show you my courageous journey because the network marketing model is the way that I will.So, I want you to think today, and your homework is this, and if you send them to me over in a DM in Instagram, send them to me on Facebook messenger. Mandy has an email that we use now that's a support email, but I want to know what makes you unique, the five things. Because as you're having a conversation and as you are, do you ever like find yourself holding back? Like I should really be having a conversation with her, with this person. She's my exact energy. She's the exact person that I want to build something with, and I feel an energy. I feel this nudge that this conversation needs to happen. Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever thought that? And then you're like, Oh, what do I say? And then you fumble all over your words and you sound like the crazy lady in the cereal aisle.That's trying to get you to like sell her thing, and it's really not pyramid and it's really this. It's because you haven't leaned into your truth. So, what I'm going to encourage you to do is to take some time and take out your business journal, take out your journal, look at why is this the best model for you? Is it the innovative website that you didn't have to build? I mean, I'm stumbling right now because I don't want to give you my five, because I don't want those to be your five. So, your assignment this week is to journal like why this business, why this company, why this product, why this model? Go back and listen to my podcast with Ray Higdon. I'll put it in the show notes, and he talks about why the network marketing model is the best model. And for me stepping into that, I don't know what happened in 2014 that that day I really think it was divine intervention.The universe was telling me like you have so many people to help and this is going to be the way, this is the business model that will be the way, because I'm very creative. But that creativity sometimes gets me not crossing the red line. And we'll talk about crossing the red line, it means finishing what I start, staying the course, and I have stayed the course. And the reason why is because I have a simple business model that is accessible to the everyday person. That right away you can begin set up shop, make some money and build a community around a value, an emission. And also, then teach sales tools that are easy for people to follow and easy for people to stay consistent and having the foundation in place. So, I want you to come up with, and the big reason is because you may be fumbling on those words, you may not know why you're here.You may not know, what is the value of your company? What makes you innovative and different? And it's not a sales pitch, it's what it is to you. So, if I said, I'm going to bring you on this podcast, Kathy, and I'm going to ask you when I say to somebody, why did you choose those shoes? Why do you love to run in those shoes if you're a runner, why do you like Brooks versus Adidas or Nike? Oh, well it has this feature and this feature, and it supports this. I had plantar fasciitis, so I needed this instep. You can talk about why or maybe you just love the bright colored pink or maybe your foot is wide, so we know why we choose certain things. Why did you choose this? Why did you choose the school that your kids attend? Why did you choose your house?What were those features in it? What was important to you when you were choosing your apartment, your house, where you live, your car? We know all of those things, but what was important to you when you chose your spouse? When you chose your partner? What was the value that you wanted in that person? Do you know those things? Because that is when you start to really, really lean into this power of your communication, of your marketing message and your visibility, which is going to be step two of this podcast. So, I want you to take some time and start with something that you know, start with your spouse. Start with maybe the house that you chose, why did you choose a vacation and start to pay attention and notice those things in your decision making. And then you can be a little bit more discriminatory on how you make a decision.And so, you're not just saying yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, that's a side note. But why did you choose the network marketing model, specifically your business? And keep it brief and simple and know it and say it in the car and pretend like you're being interviewed by Oprah. Pretend like you're on this podcast. And I say to you, Mandy, why did you choose that? Like what made you make that decision and then practice it and start with the five bullet points. And I don't even want to call it a pitch because people can feel a pitch from a million miles away. But when someone talks to me, I am so, so, so sure that I need to share this message that I need to help. That woman that was looking for her voice, that was feeling lost, that was feeling stressed out, what was keeping her up at night.And so, I don't just be like, Oh, my gosh, this is so amazing. It's awesome. We have all these things. Yeah, this person did this and this person did this and Oh my gosh, and she lost 32 pounds and blah, blah blah. I want you to know and I want you to be clear, so I want you to journal it and I can't give you those answers because only you can do it yourself. We're going to do some work on that over in Camp Elevate. If you're not in the group, thecampelevategroup.com, it's free. We have so many, so many amazing, amazing thousands of women in there, and some really awesome men, who are showing up for each other. And I do a lot of training in there. So, we're going to talk about that. I want you to journal that and I want you to really lean into it.And as you lean into this, with all of your choices, with all of your decisions, if you look at what is the quality in my spouse that I love so much, and sometimes those good qualities that you chose become the annoying qualities, and like, so one of the things I love about Don is, I love that he takes care of all the little details and he pays attention to those things. He doesn't let things slip through the cracks. And when I wasn't in gratitude and when I wasn't focused on all of the things, in the rich life that we got to lead together, that started to annoy me. Oh my gosh, here he goes again. Did you remember your driver's license? Did you remember your passport? Did you remember this? And I started to become annoyed by those little things when that was truly the big quality that I wanted and prayed for and thought about and journaled about.In the perfect partner for my life. So, I want you to do that for your business. Is this making sense to you guys? So, when you become clear on that, the next piece I'm going to talk to you about in the CEO framework, step into your power. So, before we go to the next point, I literally want you to visualize that you're in a room and it's dark and you're looking for the light and everything's kind of out of place. There's books and there's things on the floor and shoes that need to be put away. And how does that feel? It feels confusing, right? It feels like I can't get started until I clean this up. And then I want you to step into this room. I want you to step through the door and I want you to visualize how it feels to be in this clean and open space.However, that looks for you. For me, it's stepping into this room that has like a rich, a rich rug that is deep jewel toned. It has meditation corner; it has a clean desk that has like some very beautiful pens and books. And it's just inviting. I've got my microphone there and I walk into that space. That's what I've done with my office, is walked into a space and created a space where I could create. So, I want you to think about that in your business. Does your business feel like that cluttered office where you don't know what to do next? When you get clear on what you do and why you're doing it and how you're going to share with those five bullet points and you journal about it and you really, really lean into it. You guys, you have to do the work.I can't tell you the five. You've got to do the work and then you've got to keep doing the work of why you're grateful, why this is working, why you're doing this, to be in it for the long term by the little things, the details. Remember when I talked about Don, why those little things are not going to create disruption in what your daily plan is. So, I want to encourage you and invite you today to walk in, stand up, take a step from hiding behind the curtain in your cluttered room. Really not knowing why you made this choice because you're listening to this podcast because you want to make a shift. You can use this strategy any single time that you need to make a shift. It's going into being clear on what are those amazing, awesome things that had me make this choice and step into it and step into it with clarity so that when you have that conversation, when you're at the running store buying those running shoes and you just have this intuition and I need to like open my mouth and connect with is human and instead of going out and buying a $27 script that's going to allow you to connect and have conversations and recruit and grow your team like crazy.We've all done it, that you literally, we'll have the words the connection because you are so clear on it. So clear. I want you to think about this. I want you to think about the last perfect vacation that you took, and if you had one, and if you haven't, put that on your vision board, and how the sheets felt and what was the service like and what, what did the sand feel like and if, if that woman at the running store when you're buying your running shoes set asked you about going to maybe your places, Punta Cana, and you start to explain it, you have all these ways. She's like, Oh, I'm totally in. Do you have that for your business? Do you have those words? Do you have that? It's because you need to step away from the clutter, clear it out with your journaling, with getting clear on your messaging and don't think, I want Beth to give me her five because my five are totally different and the way that you can do this is to do some journaling prompts.You go back to where you were and where you want to be going or what you wanted less of in your life and what you wanted more of. Whenever I'm looking at, am I going to go in the right directions? I'll say, what do I want to do less of? What do I want to do more of and does that fit my more of what looks like love? What brings me joy and how will I feel? And this is another one that I learned this from my coach, Susan Hyatt, when she talks about not shaming, and this is about food, but how will this feel in an hour? And so, like even when I don't have that conversation, how would that feel in an hour? So, I need to do it now, but I want you to get very, very clear. So, I promised you step two would be how to take this message and then use this in your CEO framework of how you build out your business plan of being innovative with your marketing and your visibility.And that sometimes is social media. Sometimes it might be meeting with a group of almost empty nest moms at a high school. But the next podcast we are going to be talking how we take this work that you're doing. And then we put that into showing up consistently for marketing and visibility and for people to hear your message and find you, which is a huge, huge piece, but I am going to save that. I'm going to actually record that next episode right now while it's on my mind, and you'll have that episode next Monday. So, this week your homework is, this is I want you to think about and journal and really lean into, are you hiding behind a curtain? Are you kind of like in the shadows, not really talking about what you do or are you truly stepping into your power, stepping into finding your voice and committing to that?Are you visualizing? Are you journaling and do you know those five things? Three things, five things, right? Then if I were to say to you, Mandy, what is it? You would be able to say boom, boom, boom, and boom and practice a little bit like why did you choose that shaker cup? And I do this with my brain all the time. Why did you choose that shaker cup? Why do you like that white tee shirt? Why did you choose your spouse? Why do you choose those sheets for your bed? You can always come up with those five things and when you find yourself getting caught up in drama and somebody else's swirling tornado of emotions or boundary issues to start to really lean into, does this feel like love? Does this bring me joy? How will this feel in an hour? And when you know, like I know what my five, I know for my business why I chose my business.I know why I chose to work with women in a mastermind, but I also know what are my five agreements with myself and that they have to fall into place in all of, and we'll talk about all those things on the podcast, but today its business. It is. Why did you choose the network marketing model? Your specific business or if you're a realtor, why did you choose to work with Keller Williams? Why did you choose to do this? Why is it the best choice? Because what you're doing is not going out and recruiting and finding just anybody that says yes and puts up their hand. You want to be connected with the people that have the same vision that you have, and you cannot attract. You cannot have that conversation unless you are very, very clear. So, when I get messages from you and thank you, thank you for sending me those messages that say, I think you were in my head.I think that today you read my mind on this podcast and I think, okay because I churn all about it. I journal about what I went through, I journal about what are the things that when people say to me, I'm struggling here, how can I work through this? I want you to be so clear on why you made that choice. Step into the CEO role. Imagine that you are in, you are you guys, you didn't just join a company and you're like, Hey, I'm Joe Schmo and I'm the such and such oil person. You are Joe Schmoe, who is the CEO of this business that is using the network marketing model to help men and women build their business. You are excited because the product that you are like, think about the product that you get to put into people's hands will give you these results. Do you have clarity?And that is my question. Go on out there and get your clarity. Pull out that journal. It will come to you. And if you're stuck, go for a run. Put on some Beyoncé, go at your most creative time when you are feeling clear and do this work and I promise you that you will get such clarity on your message, such clarity on your mission. Then when you are trying on those running shoes and you feel this like I am going to have this conversation and you have the conversation and you ask a few questions and she says, well why did you choose, you know, why did you choose what you're doing? You can literally say with passion, with clarity that the energy and the vibration is there. And she may or may not say, Oh Hey yeah, like let me take a look. But you know that you have done your work and then you make a connection on social media.Because she might not say yes right away. You stay connected, you stay in the same space because at some point she may say, gosh, I remember hearing Beth to say that while she was trying on the running shoes, she had such vision like she's so excited about this and I'm really tired of this nine to five or I really need to get some therapy for my son's speech and maybe that's something that I'll take a look at. But you showed up and you had passion and you have vision and you have clarity. So, let's go out and do that today because there is someone waiting for your message. There is somebody that is just sitting there thinking, I can't pay my bills, or I feel disconnected. I feel alone. I didn't know what I needed on that day in 2014 August 6th, I didn't know that I desperately needed to, to have a shift go from selfish to serving.I didn't know what I could contribute financially to our family to change the entire legacy. I didn't know, but it was the authenticity and the excitement around Blair's message that allowed me to enter into this space. And then I became clear on another mission, which was to help serve all of you who are looking to build a business and have that financial freedom and have that clarity around who you truly want to be and show up to be in this world. So, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being with me today. As always, I am so grateful for our time together and if you want to connect more, shoot me a message about your five things. Come on over to the Camp Elevate Group, and next week we will go into, once you have this message, how you show up with it to start having people really, really curious about what it is that you do and how you can really make an impact by getting this out into the world.See y'all next week.Thanks so much for hanging out with me today on 'You're Not the Boss of Me'. I'm hoping that you've found one thing that you will do today that will allow you to move forward to that big, audacious goal. And I have a favor to ask of you, and that is leaving me a five-star review over in iTunes every single week. I read your reviews. I love hearing what you have to say, and it allows me to bring you more, to get more people to interview that are doing the thing, breaking the glass ceilings, creating what they crave, and helping you with your game plan. So, leave me a five-star review, and when you do, I will enter you to win the 'You're Not the Boss of Me' swag. So, make sure you leave it and we'll reach out to you if you're the winner. Thanks so much for hanging with me today and we'll chat with you soon.
Continuing with our focus on men's health this month, we've got Nick Perry on the show. Nick works as holistic lifestyle coach and a corrective exercise specialist. With a special interest in men's health, Nick loves to take a holistic approach. Exploring the relationship between the physical, spiritual, mental and emotional bodies and how they relate to sexual health and our expression of life in general. Today is a juicy one folks! Tune in to hear Mason and Nick journey through the multidimensional landscape of sexuality and libido. Nick and Mason discuss: Libido as a messenger, what is your body trying to tell you? Personal practice and self inquiry as pillars of health and wellness. Sexuality and sexual practice. Insecurity and cock shame. Self love, what does that term mean for each of us individually? How libido serves us beyond the bedroom. Who is Nick Perry? Nick Perry is a Holistic Lifestyle Coach, Corrective Exercise Specialist and Remedial Massage Therapist who is passionate and driven by authentic relating and inspired living. Nick’s education in Corrective Holistic Exercise Kinesiology (CHEK) draws from personal mentoring and learning from some of the world’s leading healers and physical therapists. Known for his deep presence and down-to-earth nature, Nick’s goal when working with clients is to leave them feeling empowered and aligned in themselves - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Resources: Nick's Website Nick's Instagram Nick's Facebook ManKind Project Australia Q: How Can I Support The SuperFeast Podcast? A: Tell all your friends and family and share online! We’d also love it if you could subscribe and review this podcast on iTunes. Or check us out on Stitcher :)! Plus we're on Spotify! Check Out The Transcript Here: Mason Taylor: (00:00) Nick. Thanks so much for being here with me in Brovember. Nick Perry: (00:04) Thanks for having me, Brother. Mason Taylor: (00:06) I was trying to kind of tracking back and trying to figure out how, we've known each other since back in the days of the Frenches Forest Market. Nick Perry: (00:13) Frenches Forest Markets. That's what I was going to say. That was the center point for us. We were kind of like ships in the night. Nick Perry: (00:20) Our paths would cross, we'd dig each other's vibe but that- Mason Taylor: (00:24) A word wasn't passed.. Nick Perry: (00:27) Stop, that bro down never happened, did it? You know when it was, you might not remember this, but the first time that we got a moment together was at a flower, that was like a Shamanic Dance ceremony and Carmen Moratas what was running it and I got to chat with you and it was literally like weeks before you moved up and started this Odyssey of yours, coming up here. That was the time where it was like sick [crosstalk 00:00:54]. Mason Taylor: (00:54) I brought my mum. Nick Perry: (00:55) [crosstalk 00:00:55] your mum, yep. Mason Taylor: (00:56) Brought mum, and I had just gotten back from Peru where I bumped into Carmen at Machu Picchu. We had that kind of connection going on, which was amazing because it kind of made Machu Picchu for us, and she gave us the Coca leaf and taught us how to sit there in prayer specifically on that mountain, and the spots to do it and how to weave in your intention in your prayer. Until I got back and Adrian, you know Adrian, the human flower? Nick Perry: (01:21) Yeah. Mason Taylor: (01:22) As soon as you said flower I was like, all right, it's something that Adrian was at. Nick Perry: (01:25) He was definitely there. Mason Taylor: (01:27) Actually remind me, I've got some of his new Agua Florida, which is called Medicina, the flower water, just ceremonial flower water, the ones coming out of Peru often like petrochemicals. Nick Perry: (01:38) The yellow bottle. Mason Taylor: (01:39) The yellow one where we all have, you've sat in ceremony, you have that memory of just having it like spat all over you. They've got one that's just pumping, it is incredible. I'll give you some after but finally, we're actually getting a good chance to sit down and chat. Do you want us to give everyone a bit of a rundown of what you get up to with yourself? I'm sure that can be succinct if you want in general, but I'm sure it'll kind of come out in the wash in the interview. Nick Perry: (02:06) I suppose. I'll just give a little bit of background about myself for context's sake. I'm not just some dude. My name's Nick Perry. I work as a holistic lifestyle coach and a corrective exercise specialist. In the last couple years, I've been very involved in men's work specifically. The way that I like to operate is very holistically. It just absolutely makes sense to me to factor in and to explore and to incorporate things of matters of spirituality, of the emotional bodies, of the mental body and the physical form and how we live and relate in this plane of existence with one another. That's my jam and that's my deep passion, and everything that sort of offshoots from that. I'm like nutrition for example. I heard you say earlier on when we were chatting, like hormonal regulation and some of the feedback of life shows up in so many different ways. Biochemistry is just one of the myriad. I like to get around things in a very holistic sense. That's sort of how I work and what I'm interested in. Mason Taylor: (03:18) There's a couple of things you'll touch on then. I think it'd be really nice to be able to come down back to a pillar, you know there's many pillars, a pillar in this chat. If we can keep on coming back to that concept of libido and rather than widening everyone's perspective and men's relationship with what that is deepening the concept. I feel like that'd be a nice place to continue to come back to. Especially, I wouldn't mind getting into, what I think is really fascinating is that integrative, that conversational aspect of body, emotions, your intellect and your mind and then your spirit, your essential cells. I got something I'd definitely recently, I feel like I've gotten a bit more conversation between all those aspects in myself and, but just over the years, that's always been my biggest trip up, in where my deepest patterns can come over and just start ruling my life is when I have this huge inner turmoil, when fighting between these two segments of my life. Especially if one's run off. If my mind and my morality and my logic is run off and created an identity for myself. Mason Taylor: (04:25) Then I realize that I've gone too far and I don't know how to get back. That can happen with diet, that can happen with ideology, or whatever it is. You come off center, naturally for me especially when you get a little bit older, you see that's going to be one of the core things that starts bottoming out libido, right? Nick Perry: (04:44) Most definitely. That's a beautiful, I suppose entry into what we're talking about because libido is feedback, and it's nice because it's very clear. It's either we're turned on or we're not. If we became a bit more objective around that, and removed the stigmas and the definitions of, I'm horny or I'm not horny, and became more observant of our own inner libido, we can actually nurture a very healthy relationship with a low libido and see the value in that as a feedback mechanism. It's like, okay, I'm noticing that my life force has decreased, to the point that my body has in a way decommissioned my sex drive. That's a gift, that's one of the most loving things the body could do for us is to say, "Hey, pay attention. Where are you making your choices from? Why are you burning the candle so low? Whose values are you expressing?" It can be our home base, it can bring us back in. The thing that I really like about libido and sex drive is, it's a difficult one to repress or to ignore. It screams us- Mason Taylor: (06:02) That's a good point. Nick Perry: (06:03) ... to the face particularly because culturally we're so, to a degree sexually geared, and then biologically we're sexually geared obviously, which is what we are speaking to now. Instinctually we're sexually geared as well, to honor high libido but also to honor low libido is a very valuable thing to cultivate for every single individual in my opinion. Mason Taylor: (06:28) You mean the state, the fluctuating nature within ourselves or in different men in different situations? Nick Perry: (06:35) I think just as a simple barometer, as a simple feedback tool. I know, for example, I use myself as an example. I know if I'm horny, I'm well rested, you got it? If I don't have sex drive, or the desire to ravish, then that's an indicator to me that my Qi's running low. That I've kind of betrayed myself to an extent in that I've traded in my health for some other sort of gain. I've lost the awareness, and I've lost the equilibrium and that low libido is indicating that to me. It helps me refine my center, reflect on the choices that I've made over the last four weeks, for example. Then I get the opportunity then, to cultivate a more honest relationship with myself and the intention that's driving my actions. A pattern for me, subconsciously, which is sort of an expression of my wounded is overcompensating. Nick Perry: (07:39) I get to reflect and check in, fuck over the last month, has my inner child really been in the driver's seat or has it been more of my king energy. As my warrior and my lover of being present with me and my inner father figure for example. Or did I lose awareness and fall into that old way of being and the overcompensatory pattern that's mine. I see it in a lot of other people that I work with, and friends and family and whatnot. We've all got our thing, that's going to create outcomes, and it's an inauthentic way to live and be and relate. I need feedback to be able to see that. That's the wisdom of the body speaking to me. It does that in a myriad of ways. The libido is a very loud and clear one for me where, I know, I've been unaware or unconscious in my decisions and actions for some time because for it to get to a stage where my libido is dropped, it takes a bit. Mason Taylor: (08:39) Especially to overcome like biological markers as well, that would be there because you've essentially, this is really important. I know you talk about these pillars a lot, and I think we should probably get to it later in the chat. Hydration, movement, diet, breath, so on and so forth. All these things, which are so paramount, if you're rocking those, because we've both been patterned to just making sure that those things are rocking. Hydration, actually speaking of hydration, I'll pop some molecular hydrogen in your water there. Hydrogen, super antioxidant. However, that stealth anti androgenic libido smasher, I [inaudible 00:09:20] point to like, I can definitely speak for myself, those emotional patterns and those intellectual patterns you start taking on during childhood and start running wild. Mason Taylor: (09:28) Definitely got mine emotional, but even if I go to an intellectual pattern, for me that was just really thrashing lately. In the last couple of years even, was that what I've been trying to really get a handle on it and what emerges if that's in its place, is that trying to control how I'm perceived by other people at all times. Obsessively in thinking that maybe the mind is in any intellectual, get bored of this and get atrophied after a while. It's just not, I'll just keep on sucking all your energy and that what eventually happens is, we start leaking the Jing. If you don't have, you keep going with your lifestyle and keep on getting enough daily Qi to kind of keep on feeding this addiction, this way of being, or for me, I'd say it was a dysfunction when it's excessive, as you were saying as well with your emotional wounded child, but then at some point it starts leaking Jing. Mason Taylor: (10:20) If you're already walking on eggshells as well, that's going to just immediately just suck up all that libido and all those sexual juices and that, it's all right, so in that. Because that's for me, I realize I'm getting a little bit older, a little bit wiser. I've got my daily practices of breath, I'm working, we went down to the little gym area we've got here at SuperFeast, there's things to be doing, but what's the center? I don't give a shit about superficial outcomes anymore. I don't give a shit about achieving certain elements of flexibility and strength or endurance things anymore. That always led me to those inner patterns and that disharmony between my mind and my emotion that led me to that place where I would slowly be leaking Jing, and maybe I could still get it up, but it's still, I wasn't really able to embrace that fiery sexual essence of myself. Mason Taylor: (11:13) In that nature of chop wood, carry water consistency, what are you doing daily or what are your greatest takeaways from your journey so far that are allowing you to come back into harmony, daily so that you're getting to the source of what's possibly wiping out that essence to begin with? Nick Perry: (11:32) It's easier when we have rituals, and when rituals are tailored right. When we figure out what's right for us because the one I'm about to say, I'm not dogmatic about, what I'm about to share of my own rituals is what I have experimented with for a lot of years and had support in and it comes from a range of different ideologies and modalities, like TCM, man, the Taoists wanted to live forever. Mason Taylor: (12:00) Some schools. Nick Perry: (12:01) Yeah. Their practices are really enjoyed. Then it's like some of the Tantric stuff and the yogic stuff and it's about, and then my own sort of creative flow and expression. But, when I wake up in the morning, for example, what I find works for me is checking in with my thought forms. That's super important. Checking in like is fear alive in me? Am I starting the day with fear alive in me? If it's there, to not reject it but to inquire, like what am I afraid about? What am I anxious of? Where is this projection coming from? That would be my first port of call in entering into the day, making sure that I'm making it, taking actions that conducive to a high libido. That's where it begins. Next thing, it's like a little detox ritual that I like to do. Like tongue scraping, that's an Ayurvedic thing. Mason Taylor: (12:55) Hard hitting questions, copper or stainless steel? Nick Perry: (12:58) Oh, stainless steel. Mason Taylor: (13:02) I don't know which dosha that means that you have, but anyway [crosstalk 00:13:08] Nick Perry: (13:10) No, breathing and then hydration. There are those pillars. Breathing in, water and thoughts reign supreme as the top three. That's where I start. Mason Taylor: (13:19) When you're doing your, looking at your thought forms, I say this because you mentioned you were a wounded child when your inner child, which is I get to be reductionist about it is very much about feeling states. Do you tune in? Do you have a personal method for tuning in to how you're feeling, of a morning or is that something more that you find is consistently working on throughout the day? Nick Perry: (13:38) How do I access the awareness of those quieter pieces and those subconscious pieces? My way is through the body. I'll notice typically, if I have a bit of a trajectory fear, my energy goes, and it stays from my neck up and it's sort of sitting around my head. What I do is I consult all corners of my body. Just with the breath, that's how I direct my intention. I'll breath down and I'm like, Oh, I can't breathe into my solar plexus. It's so tight right now, it's gripped with fear. I'll just breathe in and start to sort of mobilise the energy and the physical symptom of that energy until it starts to sort of open and soften and let go. Then I'm like, what was that about? It's through the body that I make that inquiry. Rather than notice that my head's busy first thing in the morning, it's a new day, that I've pulled yesterday in today, you know, that's a bit weird what's going on. Nick Perry: (14:43) I can't really unravel that or redirect that from the head space, so I need to come back down into the body and kind of get the circulatory system, all that energy in motion, make sure it's moving and not hyperactive in certain areas or underactive in certain ways. Hopefully that answers your question. Mason Taylor: (15:02) It's such a broad question. It does answer it. I was just curious in your little tag. It's something I really noticed my own, if I'm going to trip up, it's because I'm not taking, at least if I don't have that practice present and I don't have that dedicated time, I'm very good at constantly, throughout the day, tuning in and checking out what's going on. But if life's too busy, that doesn't work, creating that spaciousness and they come in every tradition, whether it's Taoist or Yogic or Shamanic or indigenous anywhere and everywhere, including psycho spiritual, they're always having a spaciousness to do the same thing every day where, and my acupuncturist is just kind of like really getting in and tuning at the moment in terms of that, you want to know what chop wood and carry water is? Mason Taylor: (15:48) Imagine you're fucking chopping wood for the rest of your life. It's not going to always be super insightful. You are literally getting an insight. The whole nature of enlightenment is letting go of that insight and going back to the mundane of chopping that wood. It's not that exciting anymore. That concept is the same as when you tune in every morning, what's going on with your emotions and feeling in or however it is through your body. You said, then, when you like doing your release of your diaphragm, that feel and then you heard that, what's going on there? That might just seem like a rhetorical question, but I think what I can feel is that, that wasn't a rhetorical question. That's like an actual, alright, come on what's going on in here? What am I feeling? Mason Taylor: (16:26) That's always my little, if I trip up, it's if I don't have that time where I go, I think you're saying, that's what I like, I do wake up in the mind, all right, what's going on and where are these thought falls coming from? What do I need to do to bring freedom to that space? Then how am I feeling? How am I feeling? Then how's my body feeling? That's something I've been... you bringing this up, there's four aspects of self, and I'm turning up to my practice for me at the moment, and just really stopping and seeing and feeling what the body needs when it gets to that back clear point. Mason Taylor: (16:58) That has been the most incredible thing for the depths of my libido in that, allowing the emotions to be felt, allowing my intellect to actually be acknowledged. Then what's coming through, is that melting pot in that refinery of then the spirit coming through. But I just wanted to hit that, because next, then just get your little tidbits on that. That's rad. Mason Taylor: (17:20) Then we're going on to the fact that we're talking libido. We've opened up talking about this. A lot of people know Juliet Allen, your partner, your lover, because she's been on the podcast previously and three half years ago, four years ago, she was on my podcast and the SuperFeast once was the most listened to podcasts, it was a great podcast. Just talking about all the things, talking about hand jobs, talking about- Nick Perry: (17:43) All the cool things. Mason Taylor: (17:44) ... talking about all the cool things, talking about sexual cultivation. Everyone loved it. But now we've chatted about these concepts of having these parts in ourselves that can be fractured, coming together and unifying and being tended to. Basically what I wanted to talk about now that we've talked about that, for everyone to know it, but that's the first place we've started in talking about libido. Mason Taylor: (18:06) Now, let's start talking about the fact that there's some guys listening. They'll be like, whoa, your longterm partner is a sexologist, one of Australia's most respected sexologists, and she's very avert and like Juliet, anyone who has listened to her. Now you're dating a sexologist. We're talking about libido. Where does the conversation go now? You mentioned before one of the things that, it pops up in our minds, what was it like in the fucking beginning, man? Were you thinking, shit! Were you trying to pull out techniques? Were you going back and reading the book, She Comes First? Was it just like, you just have to just throw it out and just assume that she'd be conscious enough to not judge you or did you have a process to actually get into a place of self love where you didn't feel any of those fears or anything? Mason Taylor: (18:54) Because I think what we're all talking to here or we're projecting that onto you, which I think I would probably, I can get the part of myself that would be thinking about that. We start touching on what you were speaking about earlier, is those unspoken social taboos or concepts or pressures that we have on ourselves and our own cocks and our own sexual performance there. That's what I assume where these questions towards you would be arising from, and maybe just a little bit of curiosity as well. If you wouldn't mind, let's open up that can of worms. Nick Perry: (19:23) It's a cool one. I want to make it as transparent and honest as possible. Just for the sake of that. How did I feel when we first... reflecting, I wasn't overthinking it at the time. For me, in the early stages of hooking up before it was an established relationship. Actually you know what, there was definitely a part of me that was thinking bring your A game. Mason Taylor: (19:55) It's just as simple as that boys. Nick Perry: (20:00) Definitely. Actually that's cool because I've kind of, where our relationship's evolved to now is just very expansive and it's more, I suppose there's a lot of other pieces in there, but early stages, how was it? All right. Ah, I haven't divulged this before, but I will because it's true, right? I came across Juliet, I'd heard of her work and I had just recently started getting quite involved with tantra and tantric practices. Anyway, I came across her Instagram and slid into the DMs. That's where it starts, I was like, "Oh wow-" Mason Taylor: (20:41) Is that, you guys tuned in on Instagram? Nick Perry: (20:42) ... I was like, wow, this is a really interesting woman. Mason Taylor: (20:46) That's how Tahnee and I met, on Instagram as well. Nick Perry: (20:49) For sure, it's like this is the age that we live in. It's possible to connect and initiate consciously through the social media platform for sure. That's what happened. I was like, there was a part of me that was almost, like there was a cheeky part of me that was like, "come on, have a crack." It was in our stories, and there was a Brian Jonestown Massacre song that I really like, and I was like cool, there's a relation point there, connection. Then anyways, so that's where the conversation started and then it fade away and for certain reasons and disappeared. But it was all cool. Then the universe sort of brought us back together and it came back up and then the day came when we had our first date and that was lovely. Then there was the second date where it was a bit like, okay, we've got that out of the way, now our true nature can come forward even more. Nick Perry: (21:48) She's very sexually geared, I'm very sexually geared. So there was the chemistry that took care of itself. But then there was the part of me that had this desire to perform. I think that's what you're asking, or where we're directing this is like, how conscious is that expectation that a man or a woman has on themselves to, "perform". What does perform mean? Because performance is defined by a plethora of assumptions. Those assumptions are established through how sex is portrayed to us from the moment that we're born, as this sort of really private taboo thing when we're kids, then we start to figure it out for ourselves as teenagers. It's a little bit more like raw and unconscious and- Mason Taylor: (22:47) ... Who knows what kind of patterns and stories we'd got if our parents weren't overtly loving each other, or if we saw them hiding it all. Seemingly just like, they watch porn or if we just walked in on them having sex and didn't have any context for it or anything like that. Who knows what pops up. Then as you're saying, you add in the societal elements to it because we're so prone to societal ideology and programming when we're young and gooey. What's the cocktail that comes out there? Nick Perry: (23:14) ... Exactly. It's like what's the cocktail and a cocktail is more potent and- Mason Taylor: (23:20) Hi, sorry, I had to say this, is it called a flaccarita? All right. Nick Perry: (23:26) Flaccarita? Mason Taylor: (23:27) You settle down, everybody. Come on, get serious. Nick Perry: (23:29) 10 deep breaths. It's about the unconscious way of relating and a sure way to down regulate polarity and chemistry in the sexual connection. Mason Taylor: (23:51) Can you say more about down regulating that polarity? Nick Perry: (23:54) Yeah. Think of attraction in terms of a positive charge and a negative charge. So you look at a car battery or any sort of electrical current, there needs to be a very much negatively charged pole and positively charged pole. That's how that arc happens. That's how that spark ignites. Mason Taylor: (24:17) You're talking about generally like the polarity between a man and a woman especially? Nick Perry: (24:20) Yes. We think of like negative, which is the drawing part of the current, pulling in as the feminine and the out, like the doing and the taking and the ravishing polarity as the positive, the masculine. What you will notice with, that awareness is like the most cosmic sex happens when there is a strong polarity in the room. When there's a strong polarity between two people. The point that I was getting at is what down regulates that magical cosmic charge is when we get stuck in our head. The times that we get stuck in our head, the worst is when the inner critic really comes through and really comes forward. Nick Perry: (25:19) To bring that back to the context of what you and I were just talking around, like society's definition of a good lover and the social pressure of, how long did you fuck for? How many times did she come? Say these things, these performance markers- Mason Taylor: (25:39) Are we able to go straight away afterwards again. Nick Perry: (25:42) ... Yeah, all that stuff. There is a space for that, but where's the conversation in the mainstream around the sex without penetration. Sex doesn't just include friction and penetration. There is ways to connect energetically that, like an example I'll give is for somebody who's really not following. It's like, have you ever sat in front of your lover naked, cross-legged and eye gazed for five minutes? Noticed how your breath synchronizes and notice how you feel. Either your cock or your pussy starts to tingle and you start to feel that sex center really awaken and really awaken and that charge gets really strong. If you can hold the breath, keep it cycling and circulating, typically you'll notice that charge goes all the way up and you start to really feel it in your chest, in your heart center. That starts to tingle, and that starts to open. Suddenly it's like you get to a stage where you feel that you are, you have penetrated the person sitting in front of you without the physical penetration per se having occurred. Nick Perry: (27:13) To bring it back to what we're speaking to, it's like the piece that I'm reflecting on for myself was how much of these tantric tools had I learned and how capable was I of applying that? My first, Juliet and mine first hookup, and how much of the old way of being stuck in my head and being goal-orientated and being more concerned about having the reputation of a mack, than actually having a deep intimate connection. Where was I? Where did I land in that? Somewhere in the middle, I reckon. Mason Taylor: (27:53) Did you feel like, because I can kind of like from personal experience, I don't know whether this is the case, especially in the beginning when the oxytocin is cranking as well, I feel sometimes the most virtuous aspects of ourselves can very naturally emerge. I feel after that honeymoon period for me burst and all those insecurities come crashing forth. That's, just to make sure that I'm not just talking about that initial stage for anyone listening as well or even for yourself. I just wanted to kind of put that out there as well, just in case that was something worth speaking to. Nick Perry: (28:32) That's arguably far more important to speak to, because everybody at least knows conceptually, or a lot of people have experienced the honeymoon stage. That is the newness of a relationship where that polarity takes care of itself, for the most part. There is so much charge and so much of that you'd like you say, oxytocin running through the bloodstream and then we become familiar with one another and we stop looking at each other through new eyes each day. That's where the demise begins I think. We create... the mystery and the wonder of the person starts to fade and we start to form an idea of them. If we're not conscious, most of those ideas are just projections of ourselves. Mason Taylor: (29:40) Or our parents. Nick Perry: (29:41) Yeah. Parts of us that, of our parents. Then we stop seeing them through new eyes and that aliveness and that magic and that wonder of the honeymoon stage fades. We typically fall into our old way of being again. Then, we've got this mirror in our life now, that if we don't take responsibility for ourselves, we start blaming them for the things in us that are unresolved or where we're feeling miserable or blind. What happens is, it's like we start to go into a familiar way of being, and it's like the thought and the emotion that equates to our state of being. That's thought forms, unconscious and conscious and the chemistry, the hormones that those thought forms signal. Then we've got this like cellular neurochemical identity and we've arrived back there. If we weren't fully in love with ourselves before the relationship, the relationship isn't going right to fill that hole, basically. If we're not cultivating connection and relationship where there is awareness and ownership of that, and structure where we can support each other in seeing that and resolving it for ourselves, then that's when toxicity forms. Mason Taylor: (31:20) What about... because self love is, I feel like almost a term, for me became quite cliche from the Instagram world. But I always, endeavour to not let my judgmental mind, just [inaudible 00:31:37] like sit there and go and go into the depths of what we're actually talking about about self love. I definitely, I feel like that's, I'm kind of getting the gravity of that lately. The extent and just how uncomfortable... I thought I was, maybe I'm happy to say I love you to my dad, but there's quite often something a little bit uncomfortable there. But the gravity of how uncomfortable I was really feeling in love with myself and not needing to be overtly... I've gone, had experiences just like trying to.. Trying to deepen my own sexual relationship with myself. Mason Taylor: (32:16) Again it was a little bit... that's something that may emerge from my self love. That's okay. But I was inherently, I guess that inherent shame of feeling how sexually, how much of a sexual man I am, which we all are [inaudible 00:32:31]. I shouldn't generalise like that, but a lot of us are and just feeling like what do I do with that? I'm so used to sending that out or that for game or using that to please someone else. What do I do with that much love, including what I now kind of feel is that sexual Yang energy. Mason Taylor: (32:49) What do I do with that..? What does that self-love look like? I think it looks very simple externally, but just anything to talk to in that process of you coming back to loving yourself, therefore not projecting onto your partner? Nick Perry: (33:06) Yeah. I'll put a scale to it I suppose. Because like you said, it gets thrown around Instagram a lot and it's like, oh, if you've got problems, just love yourself. It's like that's not helping. Mason Taylor: (33:23) Just have a self care Sunday. Nick Perry: (33:26) Totally. Mason Taylor: (33:27) Don't forget the bath. Nick Perry: (33:29) Oh, and the bath bomb and little glass of bubbly 80, 20 [crosstalk 00:33:33]. Mason Taylor: (33:33) You really love yourself. Nick Perry: (33:43) That's what we here to do. Loving yourself is your life's work and it's important to make that your center. Like that's your center. That's where you return to. I'll give an example, so this makes a bit more sense. There's lots of people championing and promoting and holding in high esteem, philanthropist work, being in service to others. So that's, when it's done unconsciously, is one, codependent, which is unhealthy. Two, the philanthropist work becomes the source of distraction for coming home to the authentic self, back to the heart temple. I want, because you mentioned the Instagram thing, I just wanted to drop that as well because self love is a very personal journey. Nick Perry: (34:49) We can review spiritual philosophy and we can get coaching and we can accumulate different tools through our toolkit. But the integration, the application and the exploration of the path of self love doesn't stop ever. If you get there in this lifetime, then you'll essentially ascend. Self love- Mason Taylor: (35:17) [inaudible 00:35:17] Don't worry guys, you'll get there and it's good, me and Nick liked it. Nick Perry: (35:19) That was super fun. It was cool hanging out with the Buddha. He's a cack... Mason Taylor: (35:24) He's all right. Nick Perry: (35:28) Oh hell no. Look, take it from me, anyone listening. I don't love myself, but I am on the journey. That journey requires acceptance of where I am. You can't take a step towards self love, without first accepting exactly where you are exactly as you are. Mason Taylor: (35:53) That extends to exactly how your body is. I think I've heard you talk, actually I've heard you talk to Juliet on your podcast about this. That felt familiar, accepting where your body is at, before you're taking a step into the gym or into your own personal practice. Accepting what your cock and your libido and your body, doesn't necessarily mean justification. Doesn't mean sitting there and just gorging on what, I accept this is how I am and that's it. I'm just going to sit here. [crosstalk 00:36:30]. Nick Perry: (36:29) It's not apathy. Mason Taylor: (36:29) No it's not apathy. But that's probably one of the most... that for me, or just you saying that, that brings up that wall of, "Oh, that's uncomfortable." Damn and what if you go beyond the superficial and you go to that part of yourself that in all reality, doesn't change, it's been constant through all the fluctuations of your body and your libido, through the last few decades. For most people that had been listening, and so, but by logic sake, there is something which transcends all of it. Because it's still in you, you have to have it in that relationship with yourself and that coming home to, even that consideration of who am I. What is love? What is that love and how does it, how do I relate to it within myself? And feeling that non pressured, what's it going to be like when I'm 80? Maybe this is... maybe when I'm 90 maybe this is a nice intention, speaking for myself now, it's a really nice way to go into my personal practice and my movement, or even my diet exploration and definitely my sex life. Even my relationship with my daughter. Mason Taylor: (37:37) Where am I coming from, from that place where, it may be when I'm looking at those things and when I'm 80 years old and feeling into those things that I have settled into, more of a loving place, whatever that happens to be, that's nice, slow and steady to engage, right? That's massive. You're saying it wasn't just sexual techniques when you first got together? Nick Perry: (38:06) But I'm saying it was too. Mason Taylor: (38:08) I was going to say, what's the 80-20 rule come back and apply again? Just as a general. 80% self love. Nick Perry: (38:17) For sure that's the acceptance piece, right? Acceptance of our shadows, because projection of our shadows, of our savage, of our tyrants, of our... just gives them more reign, more space to be calling the shots. I think sex is a vehicle for spiritual exploration, big time. Because there's those parts, sex, with all the stigma and the shame that just comes with the territory in our society and culture. It's kind of a private place to start to work on parts of the self that we wouldn't dare expose to anyone. Whenever I'm working with someone, and they're not sure where to start, the thing that I sometimes cue them with is, "What's the one thing you don't want me to know about you? What's the thing that you would be mortified to expose?" Nick Perry: (39:31) Take that idea and take it into the bedroom and do it consciously and hold space for your partner to do the same. Then there's this exploration, and there's this healing going on, but there's also an integration, because how we show up in the bedroom is how we show up to life. Mason Taylor: (39:50) Can I also say, because you're talking about communication there. Have you got an example? Even just made up, of something that you wouldn't want known and the kind of process of communicating that, or how you would hold space or request space to be held? Nick Perry: (40:09) Yeah. Well in the context of sex? Mason Taylor: (40:16) Yeah, let's look at that. Nick Perry: (40:21) Probably the obvious one to go to here is kink. Just as an example of where might somebody be suppressing themselves. That means where are they denying their truth, that this is what turns them on. Because maybe they'll be rejected. There'll be suppression of that and that suppression festers and turns into resentment to the other person, because they're not stepping out of the comfort zone and initiating a conversation around, "Hey, this would turn me on. How does that land on you and would you be into exploring this role play with me?" Nick Perry: (41:06) It's like, I want to choke you or we want to choke each other, for example. Somebody might be like terrified to expose that. How do you initiate the conversation? By first of all, know that it's not a good idea to just dive into it. To sort of stare yourself in the eyes in the mirror and just run out and say, choke me, whatever it is. A sentence that works for me is, when is a good time to talk to you about something that's important to me? It's not bad, because it's really respectful of the person. Mason Taylor: (41:52) Sorry about my weird. But I'm like, "damn, that's good." Nick Perry: (42:04) It gives time for that person to center themselves and to assume that the polarity of the space holder. They're not going to be in a reactive place and they know that you are going to go to more of a vulnerable space. That can be very, if you're the space holder, it can be like a ... I'll give you an example because, typically the feminine has a freer flow of emotion. It's actually, an access emotion and express emotion, and that's a generalization- Mason Taylor: (42:47) But I think that's a fair one. Nick Perry: (42:48) ... it's a fair one. We see evidence of that easily. Mason Taylor: (42:53) Just physiologically, governed by Blood and Yin versus men being governed by Qi and Yang. Nick Perry: (43:00) Right on. Imagine if you lived in that state. For a man to just cross the bridge and be like, how would that be? How would that be? It's actually a gift for a man to ask a woman to hold space for him to go into that emotional place in that feminine flow. Because then she gets a break. She gets to pause from being in that place and she gets to be, sort of occupied the voidal space in herself while she's holding space for you to go into that vulnerability or whatever's coming out that emotional charge to move that. Nick Perry: (43:47) Back to, how do you initiate a conversation like that? That sentence is a great one. To bring in, if you're not sure where to go, allow a playfulness to be present in the conversation and you can do that by just going, "Oh, I'm really nervous here. I want to talk about some things that turn me on that I haven't shared with you yet. I just love to just expose that to you and see if you'd be open to exploring that with me." Mason Taylor: (44:24) Dude so good. Couple of things popping up, first of all, the times when I've been there wanting to say that, it'd be nice to have that wording and as well as just, it's very obvious, but it's something that you forget when you're in your mind. Also, sometimes I feel like I've almost felt the pressure because one of my assumptions are, you need to know what you want as a man. Sometimes I just don't know what I want. In that instance of, say, if I was going to say in the instance of choking, I wouldn't be like, I don't know if that's what I want, but perhaps I'd like to explore. I feel like that, I would have liked to have known that ability to communicate. I'd like to explore this, without feeling that pressure that, this was my projection, that I'm going to get judged as someone who wants this when in fact I wouldn't mind if I knew that I wanted it, but maybe I don't want it. Mason Taylor: (45:19) I want to explore it and see where it goes. I feel like that's a huge piece just opening up that space to be able to share. Would be able to communicate. Would you also think that that's a similar thing if there's, if you have insecurities about size, performance, not being able to get it up, sometimes coming too fast and quite often when there are not even issues, they're just thing, I know I've had my things that have hung on despite the fact that the evidence been to the contrary, that I still to maintain as absolute truths, whether it's just through chatting with boys and then making assumptions. Or porn, when you're in your early teen years or whatever it is and it just sticks. Mason Taylor: (46:02) Was it working that same way? Do you find that approach of I wanted like something too important to talk to. When can we have a chat about something important? I just like to communicate this insecurity that's there. Nick Perry: (46:14) Oh my God, yes. That is such an amazingly expansive conversation to have. Such a gift that you could offer whoever you're sharing that with, the safety that that creates for that person to then divulge something that they've been holding on to, is then formed. You've just created a container in pushing yourself to expose that shame piece for you. The healing alchemy of that, in sharing that is, I'll give an example. Cock shame, lots of women, from the women I've discussed this with, aren't aware of how afflicted men are with cock shame. What I also want to add to that is, the shame that a man holds around his cock will directly impact his self esteem in every other aspect of his life. Nick Perry: (47:28) Men are holding back and they're not realizing that if you followed it in like what's the blockage? What's the limitation for so many males? Part of that is this perception they have of their cock and that their cock isn't good enough. That their cock isn't unworthy and that the cock is an appendage of the man. It's actually just, it carries into the rest of the being. The most amazing thing, and any brothers listening to this, just open your mind to exploring. If you maybe have some cock shame, is to go there and to speak to it. There doesn't need to be any fixing, or resolution that comes from it, but bring it out of the shadow and just name it. That is such an empowering fucking action to take. Mason Taylor: (48:34) You are saying, without that expectation or agenda on it being like resolved then as well. I think that's where my mind has put too much pressure on the sharing and wanting a resolution in that moment. That's where I've lost that motivation on continuously to just keep on bringing you into the light, sharing in appropriate ways. For bro's who are out in a relationship at the moment, you've got ways that they can go through that process for themselves? Nick Perry: (49:02) Yes. Ok there's a couple of things that just sprang to mind. Become responsible for who you surround yourself with. If you were around men who can't go there, then put yourself around different men who are willing to have that conversation, who are mature enough to hold space for that, who might be willing to lean into that for themselves and expose that, and have a very beautiful intimate healing relationship, friendship conversation around that. How can you do that? I'm part of a non for profit organization called ManKind Project, MKP. Without going too deeply into that right now, that is a, they hold men circles. It's global. It's all around, it's all around Australia. It's all around the world. It's online, they're called igroups, the men circles that they hold, there's online igroups. Nick Perry: (50:15) Literally, you can seek out the right environment and the right people and put yourself there, and push yourself to have the conversation. That is how you're going to step more into self love. Like we were saying, that's the trajectory of self love. That's the inconvenience of self love. It's not convenient to love yourself, because you got to drop, start dropping these defense mechanisms that have served you. They got you to where you're at, you're still alive. Mason Taylor: (50:46) It's not convenient based on the way that society is set up in the way we've kind of got that story about selves. How the propaganda machine is driven, the way that life needs to look for us. It's kind of completely go against grain of that and going with the grain of our spirit and our emotions and our integration, which is ultimately been like, life being more fun, and rad, and sexually potent more laughter and good parties and being able to fill your cup in terms of, we know your practice actually widening your cups so you can get out there and contribute to other people having a rad time in life. Mason Taylor: (51:22) I mean it would probably end with that, with men's circles, I think what some people, I see a lot of men, a lot of men around this area as well as, it's just like, I need to completely eject myself from all social circles that don't foster these kinds of conversation. Which I know you're not talking to but...Sometimes I feel like we take [crosstalk 00:51:39]. Nick Perry: (51:43) That's shadowy as fuck again. It's like going into, so thank you so much for bringing that up. Because what I'm saying is, if those relationships and environments aren't in your life, then choose to have them in your life and put yourself in them. That doesn't mean to scave and abandon and judge and condemn other men and brothers who might'n be making these inquiries just yet. We all have different degrees of readiness. There isn't a right or a wrong by any fucking means. There's no step in anybody's journey that isn't sacred or divine. It's like, the whole process is divine. Recognise the divinity in every person no matter where they're at. Mason Taylor: (52:40) That's like, that's ideology one-o-one. Going like, I'm ready to go down this route. Then, by all intents and purposes, you can look at a guy who's, maybe not doing that, but he's decided to take it upon himself to I don't know learn like carpentry or, go down the routes of like, mechanics or something like that and feeling that's something that he's exploring in himself right now. Then judge the shit out of you, because you're not actually taking the responsibility for your own car or house or whatever. It's all ideology. That's good. That's good stuff, it's spicy. Nick Perry: (53:17) Nice. There's just one little thing as well I want to say. Because recently, I had a trippy experience with this. Talking about the cock thing, the cock conversation. "I'm going to say it out loud and be seen and witnessed in speaking to the cock shame is a very healing way to transmute that shame. The other thing is, start to befriend your cock again. What I realised was my cock was a commodity to me. It was a commodity to me, and it was a burden. It was either a commodity or a burden. It's like I lost the shame. It messed up. Mason Taylor: (54:09) [inaudible 00:54:09]. Nick Perry: (54:10) Having a really positive relationship with your cock, how I... I had this experience a few months ago and I'd just done a sweat lodge and I was tripping and I came out and I was staring at the flyer and I was real head spinney and I sort of slumped over. I was slowly sorta like rolling up my spine, back to a standing position, I kind of went eye to eye, with my own cock. It was the first time I'd seen it, in a very long time where I was like, saw it beyond the flesh and artery that it is. I was like, Whoa and I really connected to what it does. It's like this part of me brings a lot of pleasure into my life. This part of me has the potential to create a human being to be a part of that birthing alchemy. Nick Perry: (55:23) This is my creative center. This is the sacral chakra essentially. All my ideas that have come into fruition were birthed from this energy center and then that rose up through me and came out and became an ecosystem, in reality. I kind of appreciated my cock consciously for the first time in a really long time instead of being just judgmental about it and non appreciative. One thing that is nice to start practicing is, it's a cock gazing. It's like, look at your cock, look at it, look at it in the mirror, stand up and look at it as yours, as a part of you. It's with you on this journey of life. Get it on site again. It's your friend, it's your mate. That's a personal practice that you can do on your own, that can have... just really develop awareness and actually it can develop awareness. Nick Perry: (56:47) It can expose how close your heart is to your own cock, or it can help you, which then becomes your priority, becomes your work or it can reconnect you to that, "Oh yeah. I fucking love, I love this fucking thing." Mason Taylor: (57:04) The cock can be the key to your heart. Nick Perry: (57:07) Totally. Mason Taylor: (57:10) It's true. Mason Taylor: (57:11) You can see exactly what that looks like. Nick Perry: (57:20) The circumference of my cock. I guess, we're laughing, but there's a degree of seriousness in there. Mason Taylor: (57:39) I think the laughing is a nice aspect to accompany the seriousness, because quite often another kind of thing that's unspoken, which is I just constantly observed myself as I have these peak experiences. Like you had a peak experience there coming out of ceremony and having that bang, whoa. Then not having, for a lot of men, like I said, I felt like this in the beginning, not realizing that it doesn't need to be at that peak experience state all the time. That it's just then it's like, ah, appreciation and that subtleness of that it's again the chop wood, carry water. You had your big pop moment and then you don't let it go, and just let that appreciation just seep in in very practical ways. Mason Taylor: (58:22) Even though it's possibly one of the most sacred relationships and there is an energetic reality to your Yang energy and your Jing energy and your energy of your cock and your libido emerging up and lighting up your heart so that your spirit can emerge. It's also very funny. Cocks and sex are very funny as well. You need to live your life. It's not all just some big hand on heart ceremony where you can go, then you go out of one societal taboo into a spiritual scene, sacred taboo, where you're not allowed to ever take the piss out of these things and actually live your life in accordance to who you are. There's someone in a way that's sustainable. Nick Perry: (59:05) Totally. I think it was Alan Watts that one of his quotes is, it's all just a cosmic joke. Mason Taylor: (59:13) Yeah fucking oath it is. Nick Perry: (59:15) It's an explosion of novelty and we're just picking up the parts of ourselves in this fucking, whatever this simulation that we're in, is [inaudible 00:59:30]. If you can't laugh, then you're totally missing the point. If you can't laugh at all of it, even the tragedy and the terror, then you're missing the point. Hell yes, such a great one to speak to. Mason Taylor: (59:44) Absolutely. With the tragedy, I mean, tragedy is tragedy. There's romance to tragedy at the same time. Likewise, there's tragedy of romance. But we don't have to trip out too much on that. But I think, because [crosstalk 01:00:01]. To bring us home, I just wanted to tune into something that I've heard you speak about, which is, if you want, I think quite often a gap I felt a lot of men would feel is we're able to just turn it on. We've got that Yang, we can just turn on and go, "Oh shit, didn't even realise I was horny." Perhaps it's a biologically driven horniness, perhaps not. Mason Taylor: (01:00:27) But the nature of, when you're in partnership and you are turned on by your life, then it makes it possible for you to be in that sexual dance, either with yourself or with your partner in at all times, every morning. Perhaps during the day, perhaps with texts, perhaps while making dinner, there is a continuation of your essence coming forth. It's not just you trying to be in foreplay at all times or trying to be sexy. It's an emergence an innate emergence because you are in fact turned on by your life. Mason Taylor: (01:01:08) I thought that when you were talking about that, I was just like, ah, yeah man. The concept of being turned on by the way you're managing your money, your job, your work, your contribution, your movement, whatever it is, is such a huge concept to all of this. I thought it'd be a nice way to take out talking about libido. Nick Perry: (01:01:33) Hell yeah, man. It's the feedback. It's kind of, we're coming around full circle. We're talking, we started with saying, libido is a very quick way to check in on where you're at spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally. When libido is down, that's a signal and you need to find what's out of step, what's out of balance. You'll get feedback when you are in making affirmative choices for your own authentic, for your uniqueness, for your own self. Because you will, you have sexual charge running through your body all the time. You'll feel turned on by the mundane. What would be seemingly mundane. It's like," Hmm, I'm going to ride my bike down and check the surf". It's just this enthusiasm and juiciness in that. You're exuding a high frequency basically. Nick Perry: (01:02:40) To make sense of that, and I don't think that we've touched on this overtly, but your sexual energy is your creative energy. If you are creating your day, if you have a blueprint for your life that you chose and that is construct of your own core values, that's exciting. That's sexy, because you're building your own kingdom and it's an extension of you. It's an expression of you. It's like, my creative energy is running and where I invest, it returns back to me, because it is an expression of what I value. It's this cyclic charge, like the microcosmic, orbital breathing. It's coming up the spine and down and back up. But it's like a closed chain cycle. Nick Perry: (01:03:40) That's why a high libido doesn't just indicate that you're horny and you want to fuck. It also can be a indicator that, I'm being true to me and the things that I'm investing my life force in and every minute of my life I don't get back. I'm exchanging my life for something that I value in return rather than working a job that you fucking hate. You're exchanging your life, like you're getting paid essentially because you're giving them your life. You gave up that company or whatever, eight hours of your life that you won't get back. Sure, you're getting paid for the labor or the skill. But to me, what's a more helpful context to review that from? Are you aware that you are investing your life into that person's project? Ok cool we've got that. Now, checking a little teapot. Nick Perry: (01:04:47) Do your values align with that person? Does that person's mission inspire you? No. Okay. Do you feel miserable rocking up to that place every day? Yes. Does the frequency not align with your frequency? Yes or no fucking shit. Is your sex drive dropping? Yeah for sure. Mason Taylor: (01:05:08) Even in that situation like again, taking those little steps, just trying to bring as much of your values and not being smothered by the external values of the workplace even, right? Giving it a good honest try and seeing if you can drive, bring your goodness and your love and lustre for life. Especially if it's a situation you don't feel it's actually that easy to get out of. Give it a real good, honest try. But I think you're right. If it's just all hell no's everywhere you look, it might be a stealthy kind of antiandrogen, but it's going to be an antiandrogen 100%. Then when then what are we looking at? We're looking at lowered bone density, lower muscle mass, lower mental acuity, and then just lower ability to actually connect with ourselves and lovers to be able to actually sit down and look your partner in the eye and not get skiddish, should your patterns to come up, to be able to even just do that for like a few seconds. Mason Taylor: (01:06:08) That all starts washing out in that excessive sacrifice essentially, just going with the flows of marketing and the corporate world, or just that traditional business model, which is just pure flat out and more, more, more. Nick Perry: (01:06:28) Consume, consume, consume. But for what? It's like, are you making love with the world? If you're not, know that, see that, and then give yourself three to five years to change that. Because, pretty much my point is, you're not getting, energy is not returning back to you day to day. For yourself, you're building an unbelievable kingdom and your company is a creation of your values and your passions. You rock up and you're surrounded by inspiration and you fucking embody life.That's probably the best description I could really choose for you right now. Is you are, you have a surplus of life force. You glow and that's- Mason Taylor: (01:07:43) Shucks... Nick Perry: (01:07:45) That's unbelievably inspiring. That's a self fulfilling prophecy of yours for whatever reason. But it is a product of the choices you made. The choices you made, lucky for you, whether it was conscious or unconscious, had this determination to incorporate your core values and your passion and stuff like that. You wear it. I see it. You have two podcasts, your ecosystem is enormous. Then you've got these other beings involved in that. These beings are beautiful people who I got to meet today, and they've got a lot of life exuding out of them and they've got a beautiful high frequency. They're on board with that. That's an indicator that, your sexual energy is running and flowing and you are giving birth, you've given birth to a human being. Nick Perry: (01:08:43) You haven't given birth yourself, but by, you know, your seed. You've given birth to this company. I'm sure there's other projects, you've got that little gym downstairs and it's like you've given birth to all these ideas. Those ideas have been projected out of the space in between your ears and into the world. Your sexual energy has given birth to that. That's how libido serves us beyond the bedroom. It doesn't need to be confined to sex, penetration, friction. Mason Taylor: (01:09:20) It's interesting, you just talking about the [inaudible 01:09:22], In that space because that, that connection is highly fit, has been known in theoretical and then that sexual energy is creative energy. Even just then acknowledging, there are creations here at SuperFeast on educating on the podcast and these things were, I can feel that creative essence and I can feel that satisfaction and joy there. Then tracking it back, to it's source, that's all just now, I've been a really nice practice for me to get in touch with the source of that creative essence and that sexual energy within myself. Also I appreciate the giving yourself three to five years saying that to the guys out there. This has been, there is a lot happening now, in SuperFeast which is happening exceptionally fast, because of how strong the foundations are and how many people are with the gym downstairs that comes together very quickly. Because I'm especially collaborating with Wazza who you've met. Mason Taylor: (01:10:23) We both had a creative outlet there. But then also going back and just seeing how all the hours of schlepping it, and accepting that meek, and that mundane and then over the years, possibly having appreciated as much as possibly can. You mentioned riding down, the checking the surf and just inquiring in those moments of how can those moments be infused with my essence and myself because it is always going for me. It's always a reflection that, I do have an external agenda right now that isn't representing my true inner intent. But that's just always biofeedback and experience and that, I think guys carry a lot of pressure. I'm going to do this. In one year's time, it hasn't all completely transformed on its head in but this is a practical thing, but it's worth speaking to that part of us that forgets this or maybe some boys listen to this and men listen to this. Kind of early on and I'm going to have that intense pressure on their self. Just nice and slow and steady consistency and it's your shit anyway. It's your journey anyway. It's your creativity anyway. You can't go wrong. Nick Perry: (01:11:40) You can't go wrong. Mason Taylor: (01:11:42) It's going to be shit at times when you take responsibility and you stop trying to flee certain things that you just know that you should be sorting out in your life. It might be boring at times and mundane, but if you've really set your vision in that direction that it's purely you, you will infuse those areas with life. You'll fuck them. What does fucking- Nick Perry: (01:12:08) Yeah baby that's right. Mason Taylor: (01:12:08) ... when you look at the world, you just said that. What comes to mind is what happens when you make love and you fuck in the way that it's purely you. You are connecting deeply. You're having an intensely pleasurable experience. You're learning about yourself, if it's self-pleasure, that's sex specially with your lover, they're learning about themselves and opening up, how are you fucking the world in that kind of context? I think, I don't know whether I heard you say that or maybe Juliet talking about fucking the world as well, but that's kind of really materializing that idea or that concept and the reality of that's what's going on. If our creative and therefore manifesting expression is emerging from our sexual energy, then get really conscious about how you're fucking yourself, your lovers and the world. Nick Perry: (01:13:00) Thank you man. That's such a beautiful elaboration and it just, it reminds me that there's breakup sex, there's wild sex. There's slow and intimate sex. There's kinky sex. In the bedroom, there's all these different ways to connect and relate. To keep that in mind that there isn't necessarily a right way to make love , in, like you said, in the creative process, in bringing your dream, materializing your dreams into reality, there are those really grindy days and that's just another way to fuck if you stay conscious. Then there's those really expensive elating days where it all comes together and that's another way to fuck. But yeah, if you stay connected to yourself, and stay accountable to your values and the blueprint that you've taken time to construct around, like what do I want my reality to look like and how is that going to make the world a better place and better the experience in this world for my loved ones? Yeah, go forth and fuck. Mason Taylor: (01:14:18) Yeah, I love it. On that, where can any men or women wanting to reach out, you're a holistic health coach. You work with people on many areas whether diet, functional movement, hydration, and then they're all leading back in entwining into this kind work and coming back to our genuine selves. Bringing together our emotional child, our intellect, body, spirit, anyone wanting to work with you. In that, I mean work with you one on one, but you also have a few offerings on your website, I believe. Where can they find you? Nick Perry: (01:14:57) One on one coaching or sometimes courses or workshops and stuff come through. Best place is either the gram, so that's Rhythm Health, R-H-Y-T-H-M Health or my website, which is rhythmhealth.com. That would be the best way. Hit me up with an email. DM me on Instagram, as you heard earlier sometimes you
Whenever I'm asked if I have any regrets in my trading journey my answer is no. I say that because the mistakes I made taught me some of my most valuable lessons. Today's episode lets you inside one of our accountability sessions where a trader that we work with shares what mistakes he's made & how he's used them to get on the right track. Please remember to leave me a review on iTunes! Your Trading Coach - Akil
Today I wanna talk to you guys about HOW you follow up with the leads and the people that are actually interested in either your downline or purchasing your product. We're gonna talk about FOLLOW-UP. This is something I've talked about quite a bit in other places that I publish… But the follow-up is EVERYTHING. Whenever I'm at an event, this is one of the BIGGEST questions I get asked. This is one of those repeat questions that I hear. About three days ago, I was at an event doing some spot coaching with people who were workshopping when somebody said this question… "Steven, how many times should I be emailing? Is there a certain amount of follow-up I should be doing? Is there such a thing as too much follow-up?" My response was, "When I am creating a follow-up sequence, I want them to opt-out of me because I am being too aggressive in their eyes." Do you know what I mean? That has hardly ever happened… I have never had anybody reach out to me and say, "Enough already." We've sent over 2 MILLION emails in the last three or four years… I made a mistake ONE TIME in sending the same email to someone five times… Quite rightly he reached out and said, "ENOUGH!" #mybad That was only one time out of two million emails. In a typical month, I send 200,000 emails on one email account Another 200,000 on a second email account … I send a lot of emails, alright? MY FOLLOW-UP PROCESS When I was a door-to-door salesman, one of the biggest things I was taught was FOLLOW-UP. They trained us really, really well on: What you'll find What you'll learn DID YOU KNOW: Most people don't even follow up once!? 47%-48% of people will follow up ONE time TYPICALLY, you need to follow-up 5-8 times before somebody says, “Yes”. Some people have said to me, "You’re following-up five times because you're being aggressive and people finally give in" No, no, no, it's not that at all. One of the guys I like to follow online is Frank Kern. (You've likely heard of his name.) I saw Frank Kern online recently, and what he did this... He was sitting at a coffee table with a big bowl of mints. He took out a small handful of mints and said, "Let's say this represents the people that are ready to buy from you right NOW." Then he took a BIG amount of mints and he put it in a pile next to the small pile and said, “ This represents the people that will buy from you in the next 60-90 days." And then he grabbed the rest of them and dumped them in this massive pile. He said, "These are the ones that are in the far distant future. It's not that you can't sell those that are ready to buy right NOW, but you need to focus on the 60-90 day group. It's a much LARGER category and you're gonna get a lot more sales for it. If you just focus on the people who want to buy NOW, the issue is that a lot of people are not ready to buy. It's not that they won't, it's that it takes a few rounds and a few pieces of follow-up." TWO WAYS TO FOLLOW-UP There are two ways to follow up: An annoying way to follow up A very value-based way to follow up When you follow up with VALUE, it's a lot easier for people to say YES. You're not annoying and people are actually looking forward to the interaction with you. First of all, I want to walk you through a few stats - A case study of how we’re doing this and what it’s meant for us. I read an article recently that said, “You should only STOP following up in a few scenarios… They die They buy They send you a cease and desist letter." … The whole point and premise of this is, I want you to know that the follow-up is truly where the money comes in. IN FACT, I know a lot of people that are the exact same way. We make money from every dollar we collect on the front… But what we’re really waiting for is the backend. The BACKEND is where we'll pull another $5, $6, $7, $8, $9, $10 per dollar that we bring in in the front. MY FOLLOW-UP STATS I want to share with you, the most recent month's stats. If you're not on YouTube, that's okay, I'm gonna talk through the numbers here. These are still warm, okay? I screenshotted and printed stats from two MLM funnels that I have. And I wanna share the stats with you so you can see how we're doing it and why this matters so much when it comes to the follow-up. I’m going to be talking about stats from The MLM Funnel - If you go look at themlmfunnel.com, that’s where these stats are coming from. In the last month, the last 30 days, we sold 520 books. Go to themlmfunnel.com and look at the book that it's promoting… We've sold 520 of those in the last MONTH. It has generated, including upsells and stuff like that, $2484. Now, you might look at that and be like, "Oh, that's awesome." BUT I'm running an actual business with actual business expenses. That's not that amazing. If we just stopped there at $2,400, that's gonna be a MAJOR issue. ONE thing that we now that they're on our list is FOLLOW UP with them. There are a few ways that we follow up… Facebook ads Email campaigns When you get my emails, there's a footer at the bottom that says, "Hey, where should you get started?" And it shows you the different places you can go to and the different products that I offer. There's significant cash that comes from that. THE EASIEST WAY TO FOLLOW-UP It's one of the EASIEST ways for you to make money on the follow-up. Here are the actual stats from The MLM Funnel. Let me walk through them real fast here: 3,000 people hit the first page 950 actually opted in From the 950 that opted in, we sold 520 books … It's not bad. A little over half of the people who opt in are buying the book which is not bad at all. That's actually REALLY good. Now check this out… We ALWAYS have a follow-up sequence after someone opts-in. Quite a lot of people go to the first and second training and it kinda neat to see is how many people are watching each of the FREE trainings that keep pushing them back to the buy. I know that there's a correlation between how many people are watching the follow-up sequence and those who go purchase the book. Follow-up is what has saved this funnel. We only made $2400, which is not tons of cash. SIDE NOTE: If it feels like a lot of cash, I beg you to re-evaluate your relationship with cash… Because that's not that much money. If it feels like a lot of money, it's gonna be very hard for you to make that amount of money. I had somebody tell me once, "If a million dollars feels like a lot of cash, you're gonna have a hard time making a million dollars." And I was like, "Oh." It wasn't until I started changing some of those beliefs that a million dollars came a lot faster. FOLLOWING UP WITH YOUR LEADS Please stick with me because I'm gonna go full circle on this and give you some cool answers on how much we should follow up with people. The Secret MLM Hacks is a webinar that sells the program Secret MLM Hacks. In the last 30 days, it has made $58,000. We've sold 51 Secret MLM Hacks, and it's a $997 course. AND we've sold 133 of these chatbot programs… Which is awesome stuff. 133 of these chatbot programs generated an additional $7500. In total, it made $58,000. What's crazy about this is, if you look at The MLM Funnel (go to themlmfunnel.com), once they're on the list, I'm delivering A LOT of value to them for FREE. Stuff that’s sooo valuable they should be paying for it. It's under that premise I’m contributing to the relationship where I am allowed to follow-up with them and they don't get mad about it. That relationship causes a feeling of reciprocity because I'm giving them FREE stuff and answers that are so good they, should be paying for it. Then what I go do is follow up through stuff in the email footers and an email sequence. We're retargeting them with Facebook ads. Our sales have definitely gone up in the last month. I know A LOT of it is because we're spending more on ads. But it’s also because we’re following up with people. THE REALITY OF FOLLOWING UP I've been looking back at some of the affiliate things that I promote… I've set up so many systems now that we'll do $30,000 to $40,000 to $50,000 a month in affiliate cash. That's usually the norm - $30,000 to $40,000 a month in affiliate cash. If I did not follow up with a lot of these people and if we did not turn back and run ads to those look-alike lists… It would stop there. $30,000 to $50,000 a month is pretty awesome… But we usually do around $150,000 to $200,000. I KNOW that a lot of it is because of the follow-up. Back to Frank Kern… I was watching him say, "Hey guys, here's real-life today. I made $11,000 on the front… But if I had not followed up, I wouldn't have made the other $60,000 that we made today." That's the reality. Here's the point I’m trying to make… Just because somebody buys your MLM product doesn't mean they're NOT ready to buy ANOTHER MLM product faster than the autoship ships. Go reach back out to them. If they bought a product and they're saying, "Hey, thanks for buying the product," reach back out and say, "Hey, if you like that, other people also like this. Do you want it?" They've already said YES once. The second YES is always easier than the first yes. MAKING YOUR OWN FOLLOW-UP PROCESS Make a follow-up process and start testing it. Don't just do it willy-nilly. Sit back and say, "Okay, when somebody buys my MLM's product from me… I'm gonna reach out to him and ask about this. I'll give them some value. I'll reach back out and hit him with this again and ask him if they wanna buy." Then go test it. Even if you do it badly, simply by asking, you're gonna make more money. Most MLMers don't have any kind of follow-up process for their products or once somebody joins their downline. There's just not a lot of follow-up process to help you get the next sale. To answer the question, “How much is too much follow-up”... Stop when they either: Die Buy Send you a cease and desist … That's the joke. But in all reality… You can email or send a Facebook message every day. You should be doing SOMETHING on Facebook or somewhere on social media EVERY DAY. You gotta talk and you've gotta make noise. You gotta be loud about this stuff. It's not JUST gonna happen. It's very hard. Quite literally, for every $1 we make on the front, we male $4 - $7 on the backend BECAUSE we follow-up! And that number's about to go waaay up. I'm very excited about that because we've got more stuff that we're dropping out there. I want you to start getting your brain turning on how you can follow-up. You may not even have a follow-up sequence! I have a follow-up sequence for when someone: Buys my product Joins my downline Make an actual process and start testing it so you can make those adjustments and improvements. It's significantly easier to get that second YES and for more money as well. FOLLOWING UP IN MLM Just because it's an MLM doesn’t make it different from a normal business. Follow up with buyers and resell them something else. Depending on the price point, I will immediately follow up with two other things after someone buys. For anything that’s lower than $200, I'm gonna offer them five separate products in a row: The first thing Two other things A downsell A bump … And you can do it WITHOUT being annoying. You can do it while adding VALUE. That's how I run it. #justfollow-up If you DON’T have a sequence, go make one. Don't do it willy-nilly - I just want you to be able to track the results from it. Then guess what? Hand it off to those people in your downline. BOOM! Increased all your team volumes. If you've not yet, go to secretmlmhacks.com and join the program there. LEARN HOW TO FOLLOW-UP I know it's tough to find people to pitch after your warm market dries up, right? That moment when you finally run out of family and friends to pitch. I don't see many up lines teaching legitimate lead strategies today. After years of being a lead funnel builder online I got sick of the garbage strategies most MLMs have been teaching their recruits for decades. Whether you simply want more leads to pitch or an automated MLM funnel, head over to secretmlmhacks.com and join the next FREE training. There you're gonna learn the hidden revenue model that only the top MLMers have been using to get paid regardless if you join them. Learn the 3-step system I use to auto recruit my downline of big producers WITHOUT friends or family even knowing that I'm in MLM. If you want to do the same for yourself, head over to secretmlmhacks.com. Again that’s secretmlmhacks.com.
Steven Butala: Steve and Jill here. Jill DeWit: Good day. Steven Butala: Welcome to the House Academy Show, entertaining real estate investment talk. I'm Steven Jack Butala. Jill DeWit: And I'm Jill DeWit broadcasting from sunny, Southern California. Steven Butala: Today, Jill and I talk about the right and the wrong way to build a relationship with the seller. Jill DeWit: Gee, why is that important, Steve? Steven Butala: What would we do without sellers? Jill DeWit: Hmm, there's a thought. Steven Butala: A long, long, long time ago, I got sent to, by a boss, a seminar. And the whole seminar was this, for any business that you're in, any business, there's a moment of delivery. And that moment is this... My phone going off and failing- Jill DeWit: Is that the moment of delivery? Steven Butala: Failing at this podcast right now. There's a moment of delivery where your customer decides it's going to work or it's not going to work. Are the companies going to work or... It always comes down to one moment. In healthcare, it's that moment when a healthcare worker, whether it's a doctor or a nurse or anybody, sits on the side of the bed and has that conversation with the patient. Jill DeWit: With the patient. Steven Butala: Yeah. Or in accounting, it's that moment you sit down... If you're a tax accountant, that moment that you sit down and say, “All right, the preliminary tax return is done. And here's the deal, we have a few options. But here's the good news or the bad news.” Or whatever it ends up being. Jill DeWit: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Steven Butala: It's no different. That always stuck with me, obviously. It's no different in this business. Jill DeWit: Exactly. Steven Butala: So, that moment with the seller when they decide to sell to you for hopefully the price that you want. That's the moment where everything beautiful starts to happen in real estate. Jill DeWit: Thank you. Steven Butala: Before we get into it, let's take a question posted by one of our members on the houseacademy.com online community. It's free. Jill DeWit: Jason asked, “I have a seller who keeps changing their mind. Does this ever happen to you and what do you do?” Oh my goodness, yes. This does happen. Steven Butala: This ties right into this topic, actually. Jill DeWit: You know what's interesting about this, Jason? This is why you have to act fast. The minute they agree, you're out there. If you don't have the signed purchase agreement, you're showing up on their door if you have too and getting it signed. And you're opening escrow. That's how we solve it. Does this happen to us? Heck yeah. So, how do you solve it? Act fast. The minute they're on their high, and they've agreed to it and they're ready to go, don't let them overthink it, because they will. You know, we all do that on things like this. It's kind of a natural thing, like, “Am I making the right decision?” So, the best thing you can do is, like I said, act fast. Get it in escrow and when the process has started, then it's harder for them to back out and change their mind when things are moving forward and they see that the money's being set up and coming their way. Then they get excited, by the way, once they really see the process going. Steven Butala: What do you do when they do change their mind and they're adamant about it. Can I ask you a few questions quick? Jill DeWit: Sure. Where am I in the process? Steven Butala: Because I know you're the expert on this. Jill DeWit: I am. Steven Butala: Yeah, they just say, “You know what? I'm sorry.” We had this happen to us on a deal recently in Mesa. Jill DeWit: Yeah. Steven Butala: Actually it was like, I blamed it on my wife situation. The guy said, “Yeah, I'm happy to sell you my house at this number.” Then, he called back and said, "My wife already talked to people at ugly houses and they're doing a deal." Jill DeWit: Yep. I know. Steven Butala: What do you do? Jill DeWit: I tried to explain to him that it's not too late to get out of it. I let him know that he does have options, even though he signed a piece of paper, same as with us. You can still change your mind, like you're doing with me right now, sir. So, anyway- Steven Butala: It happens. Jill DeWit: So, I just let him know his options and spell it all out. And I hate to get into a bidding war. That's the thing that really bothers me. But I have told people, “Shucks.” Which is true, I had some wiggle room in my offer price. I could have gone up. And I don't want them to feel bad, but they probably end up feeling bad. Like, “I should've stuck with her.” And I've had that too, by the way. I have seen transactions where they didn't stick with me. I'm following it and then I see it relisted or something else happened, it fell through. And sometimes I've moved on. Most of the times I've moved on. I'm like, “I allocated the funds somewhere else. Hey, I wish you all the best”, kind of thing. If it falls through, like I said, I let them know their options and then wish them well and move on. There's more mail. Steven Butala: Here's the position you want to put yourself in that solves all of these problems, not just this one, but all problems in real estate acquisitions. You want to be talking to this person who changes their mind, and looking down at your desk, and seeing a stack of purchase agreements. If this person actually changes their minds, then you pickup that purchase agreement and throw to the side and say, “Great, see you." Jill DeWit: Next. Steven Butala: Next purchase agreement. Jill DeWit: Exactly. Steven Butala: And call the seller. Jill DeWit: That's the best. Steven Butala: So, that solves everything in my opinion. Jill DeWit: I always leave the door open, though, too. “Hey, if anything changes, I still got this money right now, give me a call.” Give them a timeline, but then let it go. Steven Butala: It's a topic for another show, but I was just watching a documentary on the culture of negotiation. Some cultures that's all they do. It's built in their soul. Jill DeWit: Yeah. Steven Butala: The asking price never is the price. Jill DeWit: I believe that. Steven Butala: It's never the price that anything is sold for. Jill DeWit: They probably do that in the grocery store, like, “Can't you give me this milk for X?" Steven Butala: Yeah. Jill DeWit: Actually, I've seen that. Steven Butala: Well, there's also cultures where it's absolutely unacceptable. Lots of parts of Asia, like Japan, where it's absolutely unacceptable to negotiate at all. The price is the price. And it's an embarrassment to yourself to even... Jill DeWit: Suggest. Steven Butala: What you're suggesting by negotiating is it's not worth what they're asking. You wouldn't even start down that path of trying to buy whatever it is that they're selling or do a deal if the price wasn't set perfectly or... You wouldn't agree on that price in the beginning anyways. So, I've gone on record for years on these shows. I can't stand negotiation. Jill DeWit: Oh, I know. Steven Butala: That's how I devised this whole system of making an offer price, and signing it, and sending it. Jill DeWit: That's true. Steven Butala: I think negotiating's a waste of time. Jill DeWit: It is. You're talking to everyone. Because everyone's going to have a number, but you only want to talk to the ones that want to sell at your number. Steven Butala: That's it. Set the price, follow through. Jill DeWit: Thank you. Steven Butala: Rinse and repeat. Today's topic, is it right or wrong? Or the right way or the wrong way to build a relationship... Oh, didn't we already say this? Oh no, we were still on the question. Jill DeWit: Yeah. Steven Butala: Today's topic, the right and the wrong way to build a relationship with a seller. This is why you're listening. The topic was so close to the question that I got confused. Jill DeWit: Uh-huh (affirmative). Steven Butala: Oh really, Steve, you're confused again? Oh really, Steve you can't read the teleprompter again? Congratulations. Jill DeWit: Yeah. Get to know your equipment. That's what I usually get. You notice I was refraining from that. I was letting you take care of this. I'm saying nothing. Steven Butala: Jill and I got in this heated marital type argument one time, a long time ago, and it all centered around me as an idiot, saying this sentence. “Jill, get to know your equipment.” Jill DeWit: Oh, just don't do that. Steven Butala: That sent us into a tailspin. Jill DeWit: No. You better believe that every chance that it comes up that I could possibly throw that in there, oh I do. Hey, what's the problem? Get to know your equipment. Steven Butala: And she's right. Jill DeWit: Hey, it's an oven. Steven Butala: That's the thing. Jill DeWit: It's an oven, figure it out. Get to know your equipment. It's a washing machine. Figure it out. Actually, the dishwasher's been the latest one. Steven Butala: Is there anything around that house that you're uncomfortable operating, at all? Jill DeWit: Nothing. Steven Butala: That's what I thought you were going to say. Jill DeWit: No, absolutely not. If anything, remember the other day I was trying to hang a TV myself. I was very proud. I'm like, I got this, leave me alone. Steven Butala: Just a pile of- Jill DeWit: And it was just at the end where I just kind of need an extra pair of hands over here please. Then I had to call in reinforcements. But, no, I got this. So, okay. So, did you write this topic for me? Right way and a wrong way? Steven Butala: Yeah, I did actually. Because, and here's why. And I'll preface it like this in five seconds or less. I have never met anyone who can deal with the seller, and get what they want out of a seller, like you. Jill DeWit: Thank you. Steven Butala: I was telling somebody this recently. Of all the people on this planet who buy and sell these specific product types and how we do it, we are the experts. There's no one better, that's going to receive a call from a seller on a house that's getting ready to be wholesaled, than Jill. Jill DeWit: Thank you. I got to tell you, my staff was even telling me that the other day. It was really nice. The calls are routed through our office and then we forward them to different boots on the ground. They were listening to some of the calls as we're preparing to launch Helsa County, which is there now. Steven Butala: Long since launched. Jill DeWit: Yes. We're putting together a house scanning program. They're listening to the calls and it was very, very sweet. One of our staff said, "You know, they're not doing bad, but they're not you." It was very nice. I'm going to start with the wrong way and then I'm going to tell you the right way. I'm sure you're all going to go, "Duh", but people still do it. It's important to talk about. Jill DeWit: The wrong way to build a relationship with the seller is, number one, talk over them or talk down to them because we all love that. Should not... Get to know your equipment. Get to know your property. Could you imagine? Do you know what you own? Wouldn't that be hilarious? Steven Butala: Oh my gosh! Jill DeWit: Oh, that would be awful! Steven Butala: It's insane! That's not how you get- Jill DeWit: But I'm sure you get people. You need to hear it to know this. Another thing that the wrong way is, flake on calls and your follow up. “You know what? It's after ten. Everybody's asleep. I'm not even going to bother. I'm not even going to send an email. They'll figure it out.” Or, “I just got busy. They know”, kind of thing. They're probably sitting by their phone waiting for you. They don't know and even an email, if it's too late to call I get that, but an email saying, “I'm sorry.” Some way of reaching out to them, is appropriate. Jill DeWit: My third way of the wrong way to build a relationship is let's use confusing real estate jargon and really talk about, “Well do you have equitable title, and you have legal title, Mr. Smith?” You can't do that. They're not going to know what you're talking about. There's other things you can bring up about their mortgage situation or things like that- Steven Butala: No. That's not good to do that either. Jill DeWit: They're not going to understand. That gives you an example of the wrong way to build a relationship. Now, let's talk about the right way. If you do these three things for the... This is the majority of it, these three things, you're golden. Steven Butala: I want to hear this too. Jill DeWit: Okay. Number One is: treat them like your family that you like. Steven Butala: Not all your family, just the two or three people in your family that you like. Jill DeWit: Exactly. Treat them like the family that you actually do want to travel with. There's really only one or two. You treat them like that, it really goes a long way. Talk to them like your brother. "All right, here's the deal. I know you owe this much in taxes. I know what the kitchen looks like and I know you need some money to move. What if we work it out this way? I can pre-deposit this much money so that'll get you some moving funds, moving allowance. Don't even worry about the kitchen and, heck, I'll throw in the storage pod for you." Or something like that. Steven Butala: This is great advice. Jill DeWit: Treat them like that and help them solve their problem. Steven Butala: Help them solve their problem, ding, ding. Jill DeWit: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Number two, do what you say you will do. It's too easy nowadays, with our phones and our calendars, to set an alarm. I can talk into my phone and say, “Remind me today at three o'clock to send Mr. Smith a note.” That kind of thing. If you say you're going to call, call. If you say you're going to email, email. If you say you're going to close on Tuesday, make it happen. Do whatever you have to because these people are counting on you. That makes a difference. Jill DeWit: The third thing, for me this is the most critical thing that I see people getting wrong, is they don't make the process easy. I am absolutely positive that a number of the sellers have sold to us because, whatever it is they call me, I'm like, “Hey, you know what? Don't worry about it. Here's what we're going to do.” I make it simple, easy, and we're going to get it done. That's it. Steven Butala: Whenever I'm talking to a seller, in the back of my mind for some reason, I'm always thinking, "I need to establish this person's trust." These shows that we have, these talk shows that we have, are all about establishing trust. How do you do that? What's the fastest and easiest way to establish someone's trust, in my opinion? Just tell them the truth. Jill DeWit: These three things. Steven Butala: Just tell them the absolute truth. Yup, buying and selling houses is extremely profitable, but it's hard and the learning curve can be steep for some people. For other people, it's a logical extension. It's the same thing with the seller. The other thing with sellers is solve their problem and listen to them. The only way you can do that is by listening. Every single house that we've ever done, the seller calls and says, "Look..." It's what Jill just said. Jill DeWit: There's always something. Steven Butala: It might be something like, "I'm embarrassed about what happened in my basement." Jill DeWit: I don't want people to walk in through here. Steven Butala: Yeah. Jill DeWit: I don't want to do an open house. Steven Butala: So they've chosen whatever that is over money. Jill DeWit: Thank you. I know I need new carpet. Thank you. Steven Butala: They've chosen whatever that is over money. Jill DeWit: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Steven Butala: That's good news for you because you're all set up to figure out whatever's going on in their basement, or get some furniture that these people can't get out of the attic, or on and on and on. There's a lot of people in this business who... Accounting types like me or paper investor types, there's tons and tons of businesses, people... Way more people like me than there are like Jill. They just want to talk to a human being on the other end and understand that. There's some social thing that, maybe it's a thing in their life that they need to move across the country. Jill DeWit: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Exactly. Now you know the right way and the wrong way. Steven Butala: Hey, we know your time is valuable. Thanks for spending some of it with us today. Join us next time for the episode called, How to Sell a House Before You Buy It. Jill DeWit: And we answer your questions posted on our online community at houseacademy.com. It is free. Steven Butala: You are not alone in your real estate ambition. That's complicated for people like me, what we just discussed. Jill DeWit: Why is that? Steven Butala: And I know it's so easy for people like you. It just is Jill. The emotional, personal story component of real estate investing, specifically with houses. It's a lot easier with land. It's really easy with commercial real estate, but specifically with houses, it's hard for people like me to swallow. Jill DeWit: Because they have a story, you have a hard time sympathizing, or remembering? Steven Butala: It's a pain in the butt for people like me to deal with. It's not that I don't sympathize with it, we've all been there. I know everyone's got a personal story. It's just, my initial reaction is, “Oh, here we go. I don't want to listen to this person's life story now." Jill DeWit: I would think that you're a... Steven Butala: We did a deal in Mesa on Orange. That Orange deal? Jill DeWit: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Steven Butala: There was a ten year sobbing story about that house and why it was- Jill DeWit: You know what's funny? She and I connected. I don't know if you remember that. Steven Butala: Of course. Jill DeWit: I had a great boots on the ground team, but for some reason, she liked talking to me. So if anything went wrong, any little thing. It was great. This is a good little thing to end on. I built such, in just a brief amount of time, built a really good relationship with her, that any call from escrow or my boots on the ground or anything, she would call me to go, "Jill, is that right? Jill is it going to happen? Jill is that-" Steven Butala: See, that's what I mean. How much of a pain in the butt that is. Jill DeWit: It was so funny, but it's okay. It's a three minute phone call to make her feel good. It was a three-minute phone call, I made her feel good, and we got the deal done. Steven Butala: All right. Jill DeWit: That's what it's about. Steven Butala: No. I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm just saying, there's probably more people who are listening to this that have my approach to real estate investing than you. Jill DeWit: That do have yours, yes. Steven Butala: That's why I say it. Jill DeWit: Well, then hire somebody like me and that's okay. Steven Butala: Exactly. Jill DeWit: Wherever you're watching or wherever you're listening, please subscribe and rate us there. We're Steve and Jill. Steven Butala: We're Steve and Jill. Information- Jill DeWit: And inspiration- Steven Butala: To buy undervalued property.
Our ego and inner coach are not the same. Our ego is always looking for control and a result but our inner coach is not. Our inner coach keeps us present by looking for being with what is, accepting what is, and finding out what we can learn from it." - Christine Hassler ---> Join the Wellness Warrior VIP Club: get exclusive discounts on new wellness tools, be first in line for new podcasts, get access to invite-only events, and so much more.** ---> Get The Morning 21: A powerful (and free) system designed to give you more energy, let go of old weight, and live life well. JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP | *REVIEW Sunlighten Saunas Click here to explore Sunlighten Saunas Use the code, WELLNESSFORCE, for free shipping on your order! What Does a Sunlighten Sauna Session Feel Like? A sauna session should be therapeutic and enjoyable, not unbearably hot. When you walk into a Sunlighten infrared sauna, you will feel a gentle heat that instantly takes you away from the daily stresses of life. When you walk out of a Sunlighten sauna, you will feel energized with a sense of excitement to conquer the rest of your day. If you can naturally deposit energy into your body to improve your quality of life, what could be better? Sunlighten is the addiction you can feel good about. How To Access Your Inner Coach: Christine Hassler What exactly is your inner coach and how can you use it to stay present, accept what is, and enjoy the journey? On Wellness Force Radio episode 277, Master Coach for Primal Health Coach Institute, Author of Expectation Hangover, and Host of the Over It & On With It Podcast, Christine Hassler, returns to discuss how the inner coach differs from the ego, the power of surrender, and why tools like diets, applications, or products are keeping you from dealing with the real issues at hand. Tune in as Christine shares the biggest life lessons she has learned so far including why you shouldn't be afraid to reach out for help, you don't have to keep struggling to learn, and you're never done doing the inner work. Expectation Hangover Get your copy of Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler here When our expectations are met and things go according to plan, we feel a sense of accomplishment and pride. Risking little, we feel safe, in control, and on-track. But when life throws us a curveball or does not live up to our expectations, we end up with an Expectation Hangover. This particular brand of discomfort is profoundly sobering and uncomfortable. Christine Hassler urges us to not wallow in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, and instead see these hangovers as a catalyst for profound transformation. Often life has to throw us a curveball (or several) so that we look in a different direction. When we fully treat our Expectation Hangover on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual level, we learn courage, faith, surrender, and love, and we make room for the kind of unexpected things that lead us more directly to a life we love—rather than a life we planned. Listen To Episode 277 As Christine Hassler Uncovers: Her experience as the Master Coach for Primal Health Coach Institute and how she's helping other health coaches dive deep into their own personal life, relationships, and mission. The pros and cons of biohacking for better wellness. Her own wellness journey and the negative effects of Prozac on her physical, mental, and emotional health. The importance of focusing on both the emotional as well as physical sides of health when healing from depression. How humanity has evolved to a place where we can now dig deeper into consciousness and emotional intelligence. The expectation hangovers we all experience and her own experiences including having the fear of losing someone. The negative impact of being in a relationship in which you feel the need to rely on another person so intensely. The importance of looking back at ourselves and relying on ourselves to fulfill a need when we expect something from another person. How the inner coach helps us to accept what is, be present, and not look for a result vs. our ego trying to be in control of everything, keep us in our comfort zone, and find a result. The benefits of dating yourself and explore what you truly want in a relationship. Why there is power in surrendering, accepting, and going with the flow instead of relying on planning, knowing, and certainty. What tools she uses to make sure she's checking in with her emotions enough and she helps people with their own. Different body cues the body will give us when we need to pay attention to something within ourselves. What vulnerability really even means and why it's been so difficult in the past for men to express it up until now. How her truth has shifted from focusing on her inner work to understanding why we're all here in our human bodies. Power Quotes From The Show "Whenever I'm looking for control or certainty, I know that's not really my inner coach and it's more of my ego trying to keep me in my comfort zone. Whenever I'm not really looking for a result but I'm willing to be present, accept what is, and work with it, that's my inner coach. So, the ego is always looking for a result but the inner coach is not. The inner coach is looking for being with what is, accepting what is, and finding out what you can learn from it." - Christine Hassler "If I hadn't dealt with the emotional at the same time as the physical, I think I'd still be struggling with so many things in my life like depression. Yes, getting off gluten was important and going on a Paleo diet definitely helped but I don't think that would've done it completely for me nor other people. Why at 11 years old was I keeping my feelings inside? Why was I depressed? You can change your diet, do light therapy, or take supplements but it's not going to take away the emotional pain. A physical change will help you feel a little better but if you really want to be optimized as a human being, you have to hit all of the levels." - Christine Hassler "In relationships, people can meet each others' needs but it's not everything. If we're outsourcing our needs or our happiness to anything outside of us, then we really don't have that access point to our full potential. We really have to be there for ourselves and make sure that our own needs are met as well." - Christine Hassler Links From Today's Show Sunlighten Saunas Slenderella Paleo f(x) AMP #176 - The Wild Woman and The Wild Man with Christine Hassler | Aubrey Marcus Podcast Primal Health Coach Institute Slenderella Shawn Stevenson David Deida WFR 260 Stefanos Sifandos WFR 250 Dave Asprey WFR 206 Dan Pardi WFR 201 Micheal Gervais WFR 258 Boysen Hodgson WFR 132 Christine Hassler The Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler Over It & On With It Podcast Christine Hassler Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube About Christine Hassler Christine Hassler is a former Hollywood agent and achievement addict turned best-selling author, speaker, and consultant known for helping companies and brands understand and connect with Gen Y. Recognized as a leading expert on generational diversity, Christine advises on how to bridge generational gaps in the workplace as well as attract, engage and retain today’s Gen Y consumers and employees. Some of her clients include Nike, Intuit, American Express, Coty, Hearst Publications, and Wells Fargo. As a professional speaker, Christine leads seminars and workshops to audiences around the country. She has also authored three books: Twenty-Something, Twenty-Everything, The Twenty Something Manifesto, and her latest bestseller: Expectation Hangover. 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Angie Leigh Monroe is an International Speaker, Strategist and Consultant whose expertise guides people to identify and obliterate obstacles. Her innovate approach will ALIGN you with strategic partnerships, ACTIVATE your purpose and CALIBRATE your potential to encounter even more opportunities. She a has founded: Angie Leigh Monroe, Inc which is the parent company for her consulting and speaking business as well as her legacy projects. https://angieleighmonroe.com D.I.V.A.S. Impact - Which Empowers and Equips a global community of women change-agents making a positive impact in the world we live in. https://DIVASimpact.com Veteran DIVAS – Which Empowers and Equips veteran women as they tackle the next big thing in their life. Angie is a native Texan, Navy veteran and Executive Director with the John Maxwell Team. This year she celebrates 27 years of marriage to her husband Michael who she met while in the Navy, they have 3 children and 2 grandchildren as well as several other bonus kids who call them family! Episode 199 Donnie Boivin: So I got a buddy Chad King that told me I need to talk to Angie, so we’re finally getting her on the show. I harassed her a little bit and she agreed to come on. Looking forward to this so Chad I owe you one I’ll probably buy you a beer next time I see you. I’m Donnie Boivin and this is Success Champion - Angie Monroe; welcome to the show dear please, please tell us your story. Angie Monroe: Well thank you for having me, I absolutely love Chad and his wife Shelly. I grew up with them so we knew each other prior to the military. And then he went to the marines and I went to the navy after high school. I think we both were just trying to find our ways. We both had things we were great at in our younger youth, but we still just wanted something that's a little bit more. And I think I see something in my friend Chad that I resonate with is, he wants to be significant in his journey through life. He is really always out there networking and investing in worthy causes and being a part of the community around him and I love that because that's what I was raised with. My dad was a police officer in our local town, my mom worked for the government and that's why we joke that I had to go halfway around the world and into the military to find a husband because nobody would marry me with a dad that was a police officer and a mom that worked for the government. So I found a West Virginian hillbilly and CB in the navy and we got married and started our family. I really came out of the military struggling to find my identity, I was great at being an aircraft mechanic and I loved that but that didn't translate too well with mommy playgroups. Other women just didn't resonate with that. I don't understand why they just can't get along with a girl that's used to throwing wrenches at people because they're talking back to ‘em or that can change a generator in less than 30 minutes on a P3; they just didn't get me. And I was really struggling with finding that place to belong. I worked for a local church in the Dallas Fort Worth area, I had a woman's pastor come up to me one day and say, “Why aren't you in a life group?” I said because there isn't one that fits my schedule, there isn't one that fits my lifestyle, there just isn't one that's good for me. Then she goes, “Well maybe if you can't find what you’re looking for, others can't find what they're looking for and maybe you just need to create it.” Donnie Boivin: Well when you give a new veteran a task and you're kind of like hold my beer and watch this, right? Angie Monroe: Exactly. First off, I told her I didn't like her very much; Second off I don't need another thing on my plate. I was the mom, my husband works 24/7 as an on-call commercial plumber. What he did in the navy translated into his work life but I worked umpteen hours and I was constantly shuffling kids outside of work, there was nothing that fit my lifestyle. So I started sending out little daily inspirations to my group of girls I then worked with because I could see and I could hear them all feeling some of the same things I was feeling. Maybe not the same specific things but they were all feeling disconnected and not able to connect with women in real life. So I just started doing little daily inspirations, that little daily inspiration email list grew and grew and grew and grew to where finally I was asked to not to send it from the church anymore because it was crashing the servers. So then I was like what do I do, this was over 10 years ago. I kind of pushed pause for a little bit, “Ok that didn't really go as I expected, how do I get where I want to go?” And I kept seeing Real Housewives of wherever, Girls Behaving Badly; The Bad Girls Club and I'm like I don't relate to any of them. They're great psychology studies but they're not really great for building long-term sustainable relationships and they're not really people I want to put on an idol. Then I started talking to other women and they’re like, “Yeah, we just don't know how to be good girlfriends anymore. We're too busy with our own lives and consumed with our own lives to be good girlfriends and we get made fun of by the guys because they just see the surface level.“ And I said, “Well, we can't fix what the guys see until we fix what we see.” Donnie Boivin: True, well said. Angie Monroe: We really just started talking with a whole bunch of women, I travelled across the country for a year talking with women in all walks of life. Professional and Fortune 500 company women, all the way down to girls that are going from highschool to college and getting their first job and asking what it is they were missing in their lives and that birthed our organisation called DIVAS Impact. DIVAS Impact stands for: Destined, Inspired, Victorious, Accountable Sister and making a positive impact in the world. Just recently rolled out our Veteran DIVAS Tribe because we realised that our women that have served our country have some special and unique things that have happened to them and working alongside brother's like you... somethings are great and some things are not so great. Little so-and-so that goes to church with me will not understand the things that I went through. Donnie Boivin: Or all the things that come out of your mouth (laughs). Angie Monroe: Right, the random pops in my head that pop out, they don't understand why I was so violent when I was in the military and I'm like it wasn't being violent it was being toe-to-toe to and not backing down, that was a sign of weakness. Donnie Boivin: I mean at that point you were kind of like being a dude with long hair because you had to. Angie Monroe: Exactly, that's how you had to be accepted and I was a girl's worst enemy when I was in the military. If a girl wanted to come into our shop and work at our shop I was much harder on them than any of the guys were. Donnie Boivin: That makes sense. This is fun, you go and do the whole navy thing I'll try not to hold that against you too much Angie Monroe: That's alright, I know your department of the navy. Donnie Boivin: Absolutely, the men's department. Angie Monroe: Men's department, I love that (laughs). Donnie Boivin: You’re an aircraft mechanic, that's fun. I was a Motor T mechanic when I was in the cooler and you guys had a hell of a lot more fun playing with planes and we getting put on trucks. We just drank a little bit more but you go through that and the transition process, a lot of people in the military do. I love how you started off, I went to the military because I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do when I grow up, right? That just seemed like the next move. But you get out of the military and you are more still in the same spot, now what? I love the fact that you've gone through that and you figure it out through process of elimination if you will, you're kind of role in life but I also like that somebody kind of said hey, do this and it helped you figure it out. I'm curious if they wouldn't have said hey and you do this, do you think you'd be where you are right now? Angie Monroe: It would be really interesting to find out if I would, just simply because I'm a strong personality... Donnie Boivin: Nooo... (both laugh) Angie Monroe: ...my girl that manages the office here for me, she even made the comment that's like you intimidate me at times. She's a strong girl, she's an athlete; she went on college to be an athlete she can hold her own but she told me you intimidate me at times. And I realise that. It also take another woman just as strong if not stronger than me to say that to me. If anybody else had said that to me it would have gone in one ear and out the other but because of the weight that this woman carries with her presence and with her authority. It was going to eat away at me for the rest of my life if I didn't do something, you know. Then I start realising the thing I was looking for was working with women, which created a whole other issue because I didn't like women. Donnie Boivin: Yeah, as I said. Angie Monroe: Normally where your greatest calling is, the area where you need the most work in. (both laugh) Angie Monroe: That was biggest hurdle right there. Donnie Boivin: It's funny I do a lot of private coaching and and most of my clientele are women as well and I don't know why, it's just how it worked out and I've had a couple of them say why don't you do this group coaching session. And I said, “Have you ever put a bunch of alpha women in one room? Yeah, it doesn't usually go very well because it'll take you 4 days to get through the hand pecking order right before everybody gets settled down.” How did you take that strong alpha personality and be able to handle the none alphas? Angie Monroe: The part I didn't realise, the part that took me by surprise is how many people sit back and watch. They don't say anything, they don't interact; they just watch. Then when they want, when they need; when their back is against the wall they'll come to you. And they come to you because you've already proven yourself through them watching you. One of my favourite stories is 4 years ago I was speaking and Los Angeles, a lady came in and she was at an appointment in the building or something like that but she heard me speaking from the stage and so she just kind of wandered into the event. I was handing out cards and stuff like that and she took 1 and several months later I get a phone call and it's over Facebook Messenger and I'm like what in the world is going on. Facebook Messenger comes up, I answer it. I didn't even know you can make calls on Facebook Messenger at the time, it was such a new thing. I answer it and I hear screaming in the background. The lady is being attacked by her spouse, we were able to get her location - she called me from an iPad that she stored in the bathroom which is the place she ran to when she got into trouble. She calls the us, we got the police over there; he got arrested and before he was able to get out of jail we able to have her moved into a safe house and had her under safety. She's still under a lot of therapy because it had been years and years and years of torment that she had been through with him. I would have never known that woman was in the room, I never paid attention to me or anything but she had gotten on, she had started following, she had started listening, she had literally been watching and following everything we were doing but she's not somebody who would be the loud boisterous woman you would talk to. I just build trust with her by being real, being funny, being loud but being impactful, not just to make a noise but to show that I really care about people and that's my biggest blessing right there. I’m impacting people that I don't even know. Donnie Boivin: One of the greatest things that I was ever told, when I first started getting on stages and stuff was, “Donnie, it's not about people that have the guts to come up and say hi. It's about the people that don't,” and the difference what he was telling me was when you're getting on the stage the first thing you gonna do is go walk around the crowd because there's people that really in their heart know that they need to be raising their hand and asking for your help and advice but they're also battling their own self doubt and everything else and you've got to be the person that bridges that gap. So now I've learnt soon as I get off stage I have to go amongst the people and start shaking hands. Angie Monroe: Yeah and it's so true. I've always had the ability even as a young child, I would see the people that are hiding in the shadows you know? So you always had the people there were right there wanting to be part of all the action and then you had the people that want to be part of it but they don't want the attention and that type thing so they are on the peripherals of the group. I've been one that whatever company i've worked at, even in high school; I will go sit with the people that nobody wanted to sit with. I would go hang out with those people because I wanted them to know that they were seen because if they don't know that they were seen, they may do something that will cause them to disappear. I felt that even has younger child, so working at church offices, working at corporate offices, I would always go out and meet the people that were kind of like “the forgotten ones”. I worked at an air cargo company, I would go out and meet with the mechanics that were in the outpost and the pilot's that worked the outpost because they were the ones that were never in headquarters to be seen or connect with, you know? Now whenever we get off the stage, yes there's a line of people that want to talk to you there's always that but I also try and go and purposely talk to that person that's still sitting in their seat observing because maybe they take a little longer to process what you just said. And ask them how are you doing today. I don't ask them what they enjoyed it about my talk... Donnie Boivin: Absolutely. Angie Monroe: I don't make them about me I ask them how they're doing, what are some of their goals, what is it that you want to accomplish - how can we help you accomplish that? What does that look like for you? Believe it or not I don't sell a lot, I really don't I just add value a lot. I was listening to your thing with “Miss Charlynda” earlier on, I love listening to her because she's such a fireball. She and I are on the same page when it comes to relationship marketing. It is all about building those relationships, I don't need to sell everybody in the room right now because I'm building relationships because if I build relationships, I will have long-term longevity and not only will I be able to sell to them but they'll be able to sell to me because now we’ve built mutual trust. Whenever I'm ready to post on our Facebook page, on social media or in our podcasts that we're launching soon - I've got trustworthy relationships built and I'm not just saying he is so and so from Josh Mows down the street, I'm talking about someone I actually know and that's important to me. I don't refer people for jobs much less anything else with my name attached to it unless I can really put the rubber to the road on them. Donnie Boivin: What's awesome is, I think there's 2 people in this world and I don't mean to put people in boxes but there's really 2 people. And the 2 people are, there’s somebody that carves a trail and there's people that follow that trail. I love the fact that you have the torch out front and you're just blowing things up and rolling and going because it takes those strong personalities to draw all those people in and it takes the strong set of shoulders to be able to carry that burden and that weight. You know it very well because when you need it, leave it all out they are on the stage, they take it out of you real quick. Because you're trying to deliver so much of a message to these people. How did it evolve into this bigger thing I mean I know you went across the US and you're talking to all these women from all walks of life… How did it form into this, and you don't have to say the name of DIVAS again because I'm going to hell trying to remember that acronym it's a very cool, big, powerful word though. Now how did it evolve into that? Angie Monroe: It came out of a selfish thing, quite honestly. I needed to remind myself on a regular basis of I was, what I wanted to be, how I wanted to walk. My motto actually comes from a Bible verse but it’s, “Do justice, walk humbly and love kindness.” Just being very simple and how do I do theses things on a regular basis? How do I stand up for the woman who's being wronged physically, mentally, emotionally? How do I love them through all of that and how do I stay humble no matter what we accomplished through the process? DIVAS Impact, I started looking at how many women didn't even know what they were destined or purposed for. They’re still just floating through life, they got married right out of high school or college and now they’re divorced and they have no idea what they wanna be when they grow up because they've always been a wife or a mom. They are transitioning from high school to college and they still don't know what they wanna be. With the veterans they came out of the military, like “Miss Charlynda” said it took her 7 months to find a job because helicopter mechanics are not an everyday thing all over the world. It's amazing how different that is and so how do we find a way to find a place for them, for helping them identify their purposes and help them look back through their course of life and through their life map and to go to what is the silver cord of familiarity throughout their life that they could really just cling on to. And then it goes on to who are you inspiring; who inspired you and who are you inspiring? Because it's a Pay It Forward model, we all have to Pay It Forward. The biggest one that's been our biggest target this year is the victory one, because we don't focus on victimisation. Right now the biggest hate mail we are getting is literally from other women's groups and from the “#MeToo” and “Times Up” movement because we don't focus on the victimisation side of things. I'm not saying that there's not a place for those organisations. I'm just saying when you're done being a victim, come on! We’ve got something better better for you. Let us help you, walk you out of that victim mode and into victory mode - I'm one of those, I experienced sexual assault while I was in the military at the hands of a fiance. Left, beaten, battered all that stuff I have that side but I don't live in fear from it anymore. I got news for other women out there, you don't have to live in fear from it either. It's absolutely imperative that you reach out and let us help you get to that place of victory. I could care less what Donald Trump or Billy Bush says about women on a bus. If women are saying nasty things about each other right across the dinner table it just doesn't make sense to be mad about that and not take care of what we're saying about ourselves, so we have to be accountable. We have to be accountable of how we talk to each other and really be those sisters, true blood sisters love you, like you, don't like you whatever - you’re still gonna be linked arm in arm to each other come hell or high water because you're a sister. Well I'm speaking in London whether I’m speaking in Texas, Georgia, Louisiana, wherever it is... the message is still the same; we are much stronger together, when we link arms together, than we are when we facing each other and pushing and causing that resistance. That's our biggest challenge right now, really getting other women to really understand that we're not against any woman, we are completely open to any women even if they hate us. We are completely open to them because we truly want what's best for them. Donnie Boivin: You know, here is what I really love about this, it's whatever you focus on you become. And if you focus on the victim side of things, you will stay in the victim side of things. But if you focus on where am I going, who am I becoming, how am I using this to empower… you know sh**y things happen to all kinds of people and you get two choices in life: You can dwell on something really crappy that happened to you and you can crawl in a hole and do it or you can step forward and keep moving forward and go and find groups like yours, I love this. You're actively empowering women to say that's not gonna define me. Angie Monroe: Right, and that's exactly what our mission statement says,”We equip and empower a global community of women agents to make a positive impact in the world.” That’s really what we’re focusing on, we have the group classes that people can be apart of to walk through that healing from past traumas, no matter what the past trauma is. And it doesn't matter what level of trauma it is. The other part I hear is, oh well your assault is not bad as my assault. It doesn't matter! Come on man! Donnie Boivin: I can't believe that, that would be a saying. Angie Monroe: Or it's kind of like a guy saying well you did combat in Syria, I did combat in Afghanistan. Donnie Boivin: Right, right. Angie Monroe: It was combat! (both laugh) Angie Monroe: I am now made aware of a newer generation of women coming out of the military than what it was whenever I came out of the military, the ones that went before me coming out of the military and I think the other thing for our Veteran DIVAS as we have more soldiers coming home now which is great but they're coming home with more wounds because the technology and the medical technology is able to save them but there's still those emotional scars and how do we serve that community the best. I'm very invested in this part of it because I have two sons that serve in the military. One is a fake son but he's been with US since he was 12 so I share him with his momma... Donnie Boivin: You just said fake son, I just want to point that out. (laughs) Angie Monroe: Well, we've had several kids live with us over the years and the first one I took one to school he introduced me as fake mom so all the other kids after that became fake kids. Donnie Boivin: I love that because I had several moms like that grown up because I had Mum but I still got but his mums that I call Mom. They call me son and some other choice words you know; that's awesome. Angie Monroe: You know as a mom who has a son that's in the army with seventh group. have another one with Fort Campbell with fort 60, they're very high volatile groups there and because they're in the military we all know that the likelihood of them finding a wife our girlfriend even will someone be military related 2 so why not start forging that path now. Whether it be a military brat or another soldier or whatever, so why not start 14 that path and opening doors doors so that my future daughter-in-law will be somebody there will bring about change for their generation of women so that's impactful for me Donnie Boivin: There's so many organisations targeted at the veteran communities right now and I have two thoughts.One, a lot of those organisations just need to partner up and quit competing with each other. But this is the first time that I've heard of a group targeting the female veterans in this way so, good on you for coming up with a unique way to approach. Because of Facebook (love it or hate it) I've had the privilege of meeting so many awesome and really bad ass women that come out of the military and they all got stories and they all got impact. I forgot the number I saw one tIme but the number of sexual traumas that come out of the military for the women are ridiculously high and what people don't understand is that when we were on camp, the guy to girl ratio was 10000 to 1. And it's insane, so that's why (it doesn’t make it right) I like girls like you that are strong and confident when I say you were a dude with long hair and you’re like of course. So I love the fact that you are going in and working with those girls, and their stories and their transitions because I think people are trying to take it from the whole and you've really niched down and I think that’s solid because just like guys, yeah they're gonna have your own damn language, you're gonna have your own way of talking, and we talked about it earlier I mean you've got a bunch of veterans in one room? The civilians are gonna freak the hell out because of how they're talking to each other, how they're saying it and what they're actually saying,so good on you. Where do you think this whole thing is taking you, you're doing some really cool things... Angie Monroe: I mean I'm getting to meet some people, like you said there's a bunch of organisations there that do some amazing things for the veterans but the biggest thing that I'm excited about is that I'm more of a networker by nature. I love getting out, meeting people, finding out what they're passionate about. DIVAS Impact doesn't have to meet all the needs, we just need to know who can meet their needs so we can be that connecting point. My biggest challenge with DIVAS Impact was that there wasn't anything that was speaking to the whole woman. You can go and be a part of this for this fitness challenge, or this fashion challenge, or this for spiritual study and this for business… It was like that's segmenting the woman, you're taking more of their time because now they have to be a part of all these 15 things to fit that whole woman. What we wanted to create was a whole woman approach, so we talk about faith, family, fun, fitness, finance and just a lot of other words that begin with f and some that don't. We get real, we will talk about things they’ll go, yeah you’re just an all christian group... and I'll say we are not a Christian group, we're not a non-profit, we're not a Christian group - we’re not a nonprofit because I wanted women to realise the value of investing in themselves so I didn't want them to see the word non-profit and get a poverty mindset, “I need to get, I need to get, I need to get.” They will get a tonne of value, from a very minimal investment we give out. The other part is you know quite frankly, the best challenge we’ve had is getting chewed out by people because we charged $20 for something. Donnie Boivin: (laughs) Angie Monroe: $20. If that's what you bent over shape over, then so be it but let's talk about your mindset first and they'll go oh. Our goal is not to shine a light on the things you've done wrong, all the things that happened to you. If we look in a dark cave, you're in a dark cave so when you've gone through something bad you’re in a bad spot like she said, went through bankruptcy and all of the stuff she went through. We’re not gonna go, “Look you had a bankruptcy and you had to give this up and give that up, oh man I'm not sure if I can trust you!” We're going to go you know what, we see you’re in a hole right now... you see this light? We're going to shine it on a hand if you just reach the hand then we’re going to help you walk out of this. Donnie Boivin: You know my favourite meme that's running around the social media right now, keep getting chills just thinking about it - there's a veteran down in a hole and the veteran is sitting in the bottom of his hole and a psychologist who walks by and says we're gonna talk about your childhood, we're going to talk about your past and the veteran does that and the psychologist walks away and hey I did that but I'm still sitting in this hole. The doctor comes by and says you know what the problem is? You just haven't had enough medication so we're gonna give you some pills, so the veteran takes the pills and he goes well I took the pills but I'm still in this hole. And then family and friends and everyone keeps coming by and everyone keeps trying but I'm still down in this hole and all of a sudden another veteran walks by sees down in the hole jumps down the hole, the first veteran and goes what the hell now it's 2 of us down here, the second veteran goes don't worry I've been here before I know how to get the hell out. Angie Monroe: Right, exactly and it's huge. It’s so huge that we do that. One of my favourite organisations to donate to actually was one that made an impact for my daughter. It's a Christian organisation called Embrace Grace, it's for single moms with unplanned pregnancies. They just make it a safe place for girls to come back to church and not be ashamed or shunned by it. When my daughter went through it, the healing process for that was huge, because I was a girl with an unplanned pregnancy and I didn't realise the shame that I carried for that until my daughter walked through this process and I got healing through that. That one organisation helped me tremendously, so now I recommend and refer a lot of girls to that organisation. I want the same thing to happen with us, I want people to come here and get help, get healing and they go but y’all do things from a faith basis, I’m like I've been raised in church my whole life I worked for a church, you know there's the whole saying of I love Jesus and I cuss a little too. (both laugh) Angie Monroe: But I was in the navy, I can't help it every once in a while it just pops out. On the other side I said that we go places that Jesus went that the church no longer goes to. We rub elbows with people that have done things that the church is shaming them for and casting them out for or society has cast them out for and it's really hard to get people to trust you if you're not willing to get dirty and it really is. Donnie Boivin: Yeah and that's something because like you pointed it out there may be sitting in a hole they, may be sitting in the cave, they may be sitting in that dark place - I don't give a sh*t where the candle comes from, where the light comes from, what the background and the story is as long as you carrying a freaking torch and say hey it's this way, more freaking power to you. Angie Monroe: Yeah and there is so many great people in the veteran community and even in the regular community that have been through stuff that can help these people walk out. At first people need to know that they are there and that they are safe to walk them out. Right now there's just not enough of and I don't know if you're a part of that but there's the organisation that they found out that a service member is in trouble and they go and talk to the service member, they may be suicidal they may be whatever and they go and help out so they are rolling up their sleeves. Where are you? How do I get to you? We're going to solve this… we need more of that. People are too caught up in their phones, in their Facebook to do anything. Donnie Boivin: That's it, people are turning a blind eye because I don't know if you're both saying that you're helping somebody out by osmosis you're gonna be a bad person now too or whatever the hell is going on with them. Everyone is so worried about what everybody else will think about them, this is just doing the right damn thing, getting off your desk and going to help some souls out. I mean seriously good on you guys because once again, you got to have a broad set of shoulders to be able to carry that torch, you've already said it but I know you’re catching it on the chin from these big organisations and from these big movements and keep picking a fight. There's so many women that are going through their journey and, don't want to be the victim they don't want to live in those dark places. They want to stay out of it and become... so, good on you for giving them a place that they can call home. Angie Monroe: I think that's the biggest challenge right now, we're finding that some of those women that do want to get out of it but we’re also finding some of these women that are so comfortable in being the victim right now that they are so afraid of what walking out of that victimhood. When I was attacked, I was attacked from behind. Like I said it was a very brutal attack and it was bad and when I found out that I was completely free of all of my fear - most militaries, I’d walk in and never sit with my back to the door, I always had my guard up, I was always self aware of everything that goes on. There was a couple of other fears in there too but there was one time I was sitting at a hotel, in a restaurant I went to eat my soup and as I picked up this spoon to put this soup in my mouth I started laughing because I realised that, at that point I was sitting in the restaurant with my back to the door and I was facing the wall and I realised at that point the level of healing I've gone from that trauma. From that point on everything just escalated into quicker and quicker being free and it was the most impactful moment I've ever had of realising how free I was from that. Being able to tell that to other woman that they can have that too, they say well I do that anyway I have to know where all the doors are then I say you don't have to know that, you're choosing to the know that now because you’re choosing to stay in this wreck you’re in. Let us help you walk out of it and it's been really powerful to watch some of these women walk out of it. Working with some of these organisations that are around here and referring them to go on retreat with other women who have been through that part of the work and back and start working through things even more. There's a homeless epidemic, just starting to hit the womEn - they just don't get the help the men do because they can't stay in the shelters... Donnie Boivin: ...because of the sexual abuse. Angie Monroe: ...because of the sexual assault. It's just a reoccurring epidemic and so how do we go in and start making these changes and Texas is a great state for veterans and veteran work but we still got a long way to go. And we have a lot of work that needs to be done in that area and I wanna start locally, Texas-wise and start branching out into other states and working with other states to get things going and go federal on how we can change things. Not just for the DIVAS that are veterans, for the studs that are veterans (laughs). Because whatever impacts the women, there are still some guys that are getting sexually assaulted in the military. Though they’re smaller numbers because we just don’t talk about that so how do we help them too along the way? That's the other part of our organisation we don't male bash, anybody that male bashes gets blown out because yes there is... I'm gonna say it… I’m gonna use the buzzword this week… There is toxic masculinity, those are the jerks that beat the crap out of women, that’s toxic masculinity. It is not the guys that come out, they provide for their family, they make a couple of crude jokes here and there whoopee you know, words don't hurt you - fists, pipes and guns and all that can hurt you if they’re used in the wrong hands. We wanna talk about how can we look at men and women coexisting without the male bashing or the trash talking of women but it all starts with how we look and see ourselves first, we've got to put value on ourselves first. Donnie Boivin: If the entire society, if the entire world… look at it through those damn lenses, this would be a lot easier place to live. Because I can tell you as a dude man, the way a lot of things are happening you become too hesitant on what to say, how you act, how you keep yourself and I've never done anything. I've been a good dude, I've been married to the same woman this entire ride, raised by a great mom a great family. There's no reason that I should be slightly on edge, during all this stuff so, good on you girl, good on you. Angie Monroe: Well my husband and I, we were in Ohio last week we were in West Virginia last week for a family event and while we were up there one of the cousins brought up that commercial that talked about the toxic masculinity and I said well let's put it up and look at it. So we watched it together, I wanted him to give his opinion before I gave mine and his saying was we needed more men stepping up and being leaders for this future generation to the men that's what his take out of it was. But he could see wait a minute, I'm not enough, I'm not doing the right thing, he was conflicted with the message himself. But on the other side of it for me, I said I saw some guys in there that were in commercial mode, doing a great job but let's start focusing on the 600 guys that showed up for Dallas City Centre School for Dad's Day that didn't have kids in that school, try tell me they're not good guys. Why don't we look at the guys that responded down to Houston and put on during the floods down there, the people that showed up after hurricane Michael. Let's start looking at some of those. There were douches that showed up because they're always people that come and try to rip it off but let's let's call out the goodness. I'll tell you quite honestly that's what saved our marriage when I started looking at my husband and going I see a better man in there than what I'm settling for and I see you being amazing at this, you're an amazing provider, you're an awesome cook, you're in this and I start calling out those greatness moments in him - the rest of the stuff goes by the Wayside. So if we want to start calling out things why don't we start calling out the greatness out of the people around us. That’s what we wanna see. Donnie Boivin: You're such a burning flame and I'm in enjoying getting to know you more, because whatever you focus on you become. Whatever you’re influenced by you become and I'm not screaming fake news or any crazy sh*t but the news there is to sell, they're trying to sell commercials and everything else and they know that darkness sells. The darker the story the more people to tune in. Turn that sh*t off. Get out of it and start surrounding yourself with people that are trying to do something with their lives and get better influences and go for it because otherwise you’re going to stay in that cave, you know? Good on you girl. How do people get in touch with you Miss Angie? Angie Monroe: Well, of course we have our DIVAS Impact page, on our DIVAS Impact page we have our Veteran DIVAS groups, and our DIVAS Inner Circle linked they can always email us, blessed@divasimpact.com and we are here in the US area but I travel all over the place so watch for our website being updated with all our locations. We’ll be travelling in New Orleans area in April, and Georgia in August, West Virginia in October and a couple more dates we’re still firming up between now and then. We got a lot of places that we’re going to so we like to meet our DIVAS on the street out and about and connecting with people so that's what what we do. Donnie Boivin: Awesome, awesome. Well, this has been a real honour to have you on the show. Here's how I like to wrap up every episode and I do shock some people with this so be forewarned. You're gonna leave people on the show, people from around the world. That's 75 countries right now listening, entrepreneurs, business owners, veterans, people from all walks of life… If you were gonna leave them with a quote, a phrase, a saying, a mantra, something they can take with them on their journey... Angie Monroe: You know when I was 9 years old, I found this quote it was from John Maxwell and it's saved on my iPad it's my thing and it says,’Your willingness to learn and adjust positively from mistakes and shortcomings will largely determine how you travel on the road to success.’ I normally change the word ‘success’ to ‘significance’ because I'm on a path of significance that leads to my success. Donnie Boivin: That's awesome, that's awesome. It's been an honour. I'm so glad I got to be part of your journey girl, thanks for coming on and doing this. Angie Monroe: Alright, thank you.
Whenever I'm coaching someone, I am quick to identify the likelihood of success of the journey. It's not right away, but there are definitely signs. Yes, it sounds like I am judging. And, it's really more about the mindset they have while they share their experience and responses to my questions. Here are 3 ways to get your journey started. Want to know more about DISC Behavioral Assessments? Check https://juanononecoaching.com/communicationtips
Whenever I'm in a funk - getting over a cold, coming back from an awesome vacation, or just feel all-around "blah" for whatever reason - these are the things that help me start feeling like myself again. If you're in this season of your life right now, sending you a HUGE hug and I hope this finds you at just the right time. Show notes with resources: juliebooher.com/podcast/046 8-week nutrition mentorship: juliebooher.com/coach Instagram: @healthnutjulie
So you know my friend Nate Stein? Well, turns out he has a sister Rachel who's a Freshman...and she kinda rules.Whenever I'm over at Nate's house, we have really chill conversations and have actually gotten pretty deep. So I invited her onto the pod to chat about being a Freshman, Debate Team, Men In Black Mondays, and more. This conversation is really laid back and fun and I think you're gonna like it.---PLEASE SUBSCRIBE/RATE US on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts.HAMPTON HIGH is a Forever Dog Podcasthttp://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/hampton-high/
Dear Steve and Shirley, I've been dating a man for six months now. He is divorced and has two kids, a 12 year old daughter and a 10 year old son. I have never had kids and I really like his. My only problem is that he still lets his kids sleep in the bed with him. Whenever I'm at his house, the kids still sleep in his bed with us. They spend the weekend with him every other week and I feel weird about sleeping with a 10 year old boy...... Learn more about your ad-choices at https://news.iheart.com/podcast-advertisers
You are hardest on yourself. That's what I've consistently wrestled with over the last four months. Whenever I'm feeling insecure, I project the awful things I say to myself onto others. And when I do it enough, it's hard to remember that it's all make believe. But it always comes back to me and what I say to myself. Getting the chance to remind myself that I can prove myself wrong if I just get out of my own god damn way, it's a game changer. And it's a lesson I feel like I've had to learn over and over and over again. I have so many thoughts from this weekend's @takethebridge. But a huge, exciting, strong, and really painful step forward happened on Friday. And it would not have happened without a handful of badass women who helped me face my fears. I'm doing a lot of mind unpacking on the #RunSelfieRepeat podcast this week. It's a big week.
Wall Street Unplugged - Your Best Source for Finance, Investing & Economics
Welcome back to another episode of Frankly Speaking. Whenever I'm up on a stock, there always comes a time and place to take my profits off the table... And unlike how we protect ourselves on the downside by the use of stop-loss orders... there is really no set formula when it comes to booking profits. The answer remains in your initial investment thesis. And to start off today's episode, I explain exactly what I mean. Moving on... I then discuss a stock that is now on my radar, only thanks to you - my readers who question-in. When I first looked at the stock, which is currently sitting at 7 cents, I laughed... But it turns out this company makes a very interesting play. It has all the factors I like: The company has key projects under great jurisdictions... they have great investors and parters... and more important, they have an excellent management team in place. In fact, the company's most recent addition to their board of directors has come from one of the most successful publicly traded agriculture companies in the world - Potash Corporation of Saskatchewan (POT). Switching gears, I then break down the oil & gas industry as a whole. OPEC is expected to extend cuts, more production will be coming offline, and investor sentiment continues to remain negative. But that doesn't mean there isn't buying opportunities... And finally, although I might be stepping over my boundaries, to end today's episode, I talk a little bit of politics. Excuse me for my rant... but I just had to say it. Special thanks to Wade, Phil, Dominic, and Jesse. Keep the questions coming! Thanks for tuning it and good investing, Frank Curzio
Whenever I'm in a slump and looking for a good pick me up book, I call Spencer. I caught up with him last week to see what books he'd recommend to essentially BE DOPE at BEING YOU. TOP 6 BOOKS: Managing Oneself by Peter Drucker Ego Is The Enemy by Ryan Holiday The Ultimate Sales Machine by Chet Holmes The 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris Smart Cuts by Shane Snow Deep Work by Cal Newport
IZ: What's up y'all? This is IZ. I'm with Connected and, man, another blessed opportunity to be standing here with an amazing drummer. Talk to me a little bit more about your process. Thomas: Right. IZ: And playing and playing on records or playing in a live gig? Thomas: Well, just like you said, and pointed out, you know, pocket is really number one. It's the most important thing and it's really the essence of what a drummer should do. So one thing that I really pay a lot of attention to feel, pocket. IZ: Right. Thomas: Making it feel great for the other musicians and really laying down a really solid beat. Whenever I'm working, producing, writing, for me as a drummer, the beat, the rhythm, the groove, the feel. IZ: It's everything. Thomas: That's everything and everything hinges on that. I'm sure, you know, when the beat feels right, everybody is... IZ: Yeah. You know, there's one thing... Thomas: ...nodding along... IZ: Exactly. You feel something. And as a drummer and listening to you do your thing it's like, you know, you hear it right away, right? It's like... Thomas: Exactly. IZ: ...I've heard a thousand drummers. Thomas: Right. IZ: You know, I've heard so many but when somebody's hitting that groove and that pocket, it's like, you stop and you're like... Thomas: Exactly. IZ: ..."Man, that shit is dawg [SP]." Thomas: Yes, time stops. IZ: You know what I mean? Yeah, time stops. And just the experience you've had, man, what are some of the things, as a drummer, you would do in a live setting versus playing on a record or in the studio and the micing process? Thomas: Right. IZ: Tell me all those different things. Thomas: Sure. Well I mean, obviously, in a live situation, there's a lot of factors you can't really control. IZ: Right. Thomas: As well as you know in a studio, and in your, sort of, very familiar environments. So you have to deal with a lot more bleed on stage which affects gates on the kits. I mean if you have 20 mics hot on a large drum set, you have to really make sure you work with phasing problems, you know, overheads, that's a big problem, usually. Also, if you have internal and external micing on the kits, to make sure that the phasing is right and that it's out of phase. Bleed, you use gates a lot more in a live situation... IZ: Right. Gates, yeah. Thomas: ...than in the studio. But other than that, from a playing point of view, you know, I approach it the same way. I make sure that, you know, it feels great, that everybody can hear what I do really well. That I speak... I sort of say very clearly on the kit and that you play the room. That's the really important thing that you play the stage and the size of the room, and adjust your volume and the power to the side of the room, I think. And make sure that you always listen to what everybody else, I think. IZ: Right. You know, that's really crucial information. And even for this, the new generation of drummers coming up, how important is it knowing how to tune your instrument? Knowing just the Sonics of what the kit should sound like for a certain record, or a certain sound, or a certain thing you're going for? How important is the tuning aspect? Thomas: Super important. It's really important and I mean there's really no rule to that. Because obviously, it's also important to be creative, and completely disregard history, and write a new chapter and try new things. But, I think, in order to learn your craft, you have to listen to a huge amount of music and analyze, you know, the tuning sound, the micing, the effects, etc., on records and recordings. Analyze that and try to recreate it to really learn how to use your equipment. And learn and understand what works in certain styles of music and what really supports those specific style, or feel, or groove, sound wise. If you listen to, you know, some Janet Jackson records with those like super gated snare drums... IZ: Gaited snare,, it's real big... Thomas: ...that is just so aggressive and has a certain feel to it. Or if you listen to a Phil Collins [inaudible 00:03:44], you know, and some of the '80s recordings. You know, you have to know how to create that sound and recreate it. And once you know and have a great vocabulary in terms of creating sounds, and making things sound and feel a certain way, then I think it's still like playing an instrument. Then it's time to develop your own style. IZ: I agree. Thomas: And try and create something new and get creative. IZ: What you do is a huge inspiration to... Thomas: Thank you very much. IZ: ... a lot of the cast that wanna do and be who you are. And, you know, it's a great roadmap, man, you know? https://www.rrfedu.com/ http://www.recordingconnection.com/ http://www.filmconnection.com/ https://www.radioconnection.com/ RRFC 1201 West 5th Street, Suite M130 Los Angeles, CA 90017
Welcome to Episode 302 of Hit The Mic with the Stacey Harris. Hello, hello, Episode 302, and today we are talking about email marketing. There are a ton of email marketing tools to choose from, everything from MailChimp to ActiveCampaign to Infusionsoft and Ontraport and Mad Mimi and Constant Contact and all sorts of options. It can be a little overwhelming, how do you choose a tool and how do you know when it's time to change tools. That's what we're going to talk about today. Changing email marketing tools is something I have done a few times, more than I would like. If I had to do it all over again, I would have probably done it a tiny bit differently. That's the lessons I'm sharing with you today, so aren't we glad that I made those mistakes, right? Oh, they weren't really mistakes. They were just not the right tool for me long-term. Let's talk about what you need to consider when you are choosing an email marketing tool. Yes, budget's a factor, a small factor, but I want you to remember that cost alone should not make this decision. You also want to consider some other things. With that said, you need to get the best tool you can afford. I do not encourage you, in fact I actively discourage you from day 1 thinking Infusionsoft is the best option. Infusionsoft is not a bad option but it's not the best option ever. There are a lot of businesses, mine included, that function perfectly well without a tool like Infusionsoft or Ontraport where you have this whole collection of tools because for example, for me, I would use probably 5% of Infusionsoft because my business model doesn't need the other 95%. It's just the way it is. However, I know a lot of people who use and love and are obsessed with Infusionsoft and what it can do for their business. Here's the thing is there's not one right tool for everybody, but factor in your budget and then factor in a few other things we're going to talk about. The first thing besides budget and this is something that I really, really encourage you to look at is, what are your long-term goals? What do you want to be able to do with your email list? Meaning, do you want to have things like multiple lists and be able to send them different follow-up emails depending on which list they signed up to? By the way, the correct answer to that is "yes." Not all tools can do that. For example, Constant Contact only gives you 1 welcome email option, meaning when someone new signs up for your list, they get the same welcome email no matter what list they sign up for. That's a problem. If you want to have multiple welcome emails or multiple followup sequences, for example, depending on what you sign up for when you sign up for the VIP list which is my email list, you get a different follow-up sequence. If you sign up for the social media challenge, I'm delivering you something that if you sign up for a webinar or the Facebook ads campaign, you get something different in each of those cases. It doesn't make sense for there to be 1 follow-up option. If you want to have things like that down the road, you need to consider that. Do you prefer lists or tags? If you don't know what that means, then this might be worth having this conversation with somebody who does, whether that's a email marketing expert or a business coach or an email marketing virtual assistant or an online business manager, whatever, whoever the person is in your life. Honestly, maybe it's about talking to your accountability buddies or your mastermind and figuring out what tools they're using and why they love them. You got to think about what your goals are long-term. For me, I had always worked in lists. Okay, so I started with ... The first thing I ever used in any of my businesses was Constant Contact 5 years ago. I don't recommend Constant Contact for most people. I do have a client who still uses it, but I'm working on that, guys. Then I moved to AWeber which I enjoyed a lot until it wasn't doing what I needed it to do. Then I moved to Simplero which is a more robust system. It's got affiliates in it and things like that. Then I realized I could do what I needed to do in my business without a lot of those pieces. I didn't need the extra stuff. Like Infusionsoft, I just didn't need the extra pieces. Also, there is incredible automation and follow-up stuff in the tool I use now, which is ActiveCampaign. That automation and that follow-up sequence stuff really exceeded what Simplero could do at the time. I know Simplero has done a lot to update their ability with tags and automation sequences and things like that, so that's maybe not the case now. For me, ActiveCampaign is still where I call home. I've talked to the guys over at Infusionsoft a couple of times about whether I needed to move and everyone I've talked to there has been like, "You're not going to use 95% of our tool. Do you really want to go through changing?" The answer to that is, "No. No, I don't." ActiveCampaign is where I call home and will continue to call home for some time, I suspect. Again, those are based off my goals. Back in my Constant Contact and my AWeber days, I functioned very much so in lists, but because I do a lot more automation now and follow-up sequence and things like that, I like having a tool like ActiveCampaign where I do have some lists, for example, Hit The Mic Backstage members are not on the same list as my regular email list. Within my regular email list, everybody is tagged based on how they've engaged with my list and also how they got on my list. That's right. I can actually look at any person on my email list and tell you exactly how they got there. That's a really awesome part of tags. Again, you need to know how you're going to function best for the goals of your business. Again, automation, I come back to this. Are you going to need something like if-then situations and follow-up sequences? I've got automation sequences that go out to new Hit The Mic Backstage members, when you sign up that you get 4 emails over the course of your first 4 weeks in the membership talking about the different parts of the membership and where you could get the help that you need and where you can find the different tools that you're looking for and the opportunity to book one-on-one time with me if that's what you need. All of that's automated. I don't have to send an email to each new member. Whenever I'm looking for a tool, I know that that's got to be there. On the flip side, a lot of my sales happen via automation, so when you sign up for the VIP list, whether that's through the social media challenge or through the Facebook ads checklist, you get an opportunity to do a $1 7-day trial inside of Hit The Mic Backstage. There's now a follow-up sequence based on which response you choose. If you choose "yes," then you go down 1 path, and if you choose "no," then you go down another path. That automation piece is really important and really valuable from a sales perspective because if you don't say "Yes" when you initially get that offer, you sometimes say, "Yes" in the follow-up email or in a subsequent follow-up email because now I'm using automation to nurture that lead, grow trust, give you more value and really build that relationship. Again, that's possible because I have an automation set up. When you're talking about picking an email marketing tool, you want to make sure you're able to do things like that. You're also going to want to make sure that your deliverability is going to be solid. You want to make sure that you're using a tool that is well-respected, that is doing what it can to make sure that there's not any sort of foul play or black hat tricks that people are using. Sometimes it's frustrating to go through some of the hoops we have to go through as far as confirming our addresses and maybe getting another confirmation for emails we upload, depending on the tool you're using. A lot of that is because they want to protect the integrity of their system. They want to protect the integrity of the emails going out by their users. You want to make sure that you're using a tool that's really protecting that integrity and making sure that their deliverability is on par and really going to work for you because no email tool is going to be valuable if you're not getting in anybody's inbox. From there, you want to make sure that you're continuing to use that tool really well. The thing that I want to wrap up on in choosing an email marketing tool because I get a question, I get the question a lot from people about, "Oh, I think it's time I'm upgrading tools." Sometimes, it's not about changing tools. Sometimes, it's a lot more about making sure you're using the tool. Are you sending regular emails out? Are you nurturing those leads? Are you giving them value, and in that follow-up sequence? Are you getting your email opt-in out there? Are you sharing it via social? Are you funneling people into places where they can subscribe because if you're not, a new email marketing tool isn't going to change that. What's going to change that is a new email marketing strategy and then some new email marketing action. Don't jump on to the bandwagon of changing your tool first thing. Sometimes it's got to first be about making sure you're using the tool. Then the last thing I want to say is, if you're somebody who has listened to this whole episode and you're sitting there and you're thinking, "I will just keep sending emails through Gmail and I'll just put them all in Send or the BCC" or whatever, don't do that. Just stop. If you never, ever listen to another episode of this show, please listen to this next 5 seconds. You have to, I repeat, you have to be using an email marketing tool like AWeber or ActiveCampaign or MailChimp or whatever it is you want to use to be sending those emails. There's just no other choice, okay. Otherwise, it's unprofessional, it's spammy and it's not building credibility, okay. Use an email marketing tool. You can start with MailChimp for free. You can start with ActiveCampaign for as little as $9 and it will grow with you in the long-term. My recommendation for most business owners, not everybody because I don't think there's one tool that fits everybody, I would highly recommend skipping free at MailChimp and going right to the $9 level at ActiveCampaign. It's absolutely worth the value and it's absolutely going to grow with you over time. You're going to have an ability to do a lot more with automation, with follow-up sequences, and that's going to be incredibly valuable to you as you grow. Just start there because trust me, moving your list, not fun. Not fun the first time, not fun the second time, less fun the third time. Make sure that you're using a tool that's really going to serve your business and serve your growth in the long-term. Again, for me, that's ActiveCampaign. I highly recommend you check it out. ActiveCampaign let you have a free trial so it allows you to go in and see the interface and get used to it. Then, if you need some help, if you need help figuring out this tool or whatever tool you're using, reach out to your community. Reach out in your Facebook groups. I guarantee there's somebody who has used the tool or who's an expert in the tool, somebody that can help you get clear on the buttons to click and the best way to set it up. I know there's a lot of VAs who have an expertise in email marketing and all of these tools. Find somebody to help you. Outsource it. It doesn't have to be forever, but you can hire a little bit of consulting time to help get you there. We have a active campaign training, for example, inside of Hit The Mic Backstage. We also have some list building trainings inside of Hit The Mic Backstage in case it's not so much a tool issue, but a "getting people into the funnel" issue. Check those out at hitthemicbackstage.com, the place to be, and I will see you on Friday. Resources Join us inside Hit the Mic Backstage ActiveCampaign Connect with Me Connect with me on Facebook Tweet with me and include #HittheMic Be sure to leave your review on iTunes or Stitcher for a shoutout on a future show
Whenever I'm directing or producing in the field, my iPad is always by my side. In addition organizing my shot lists, storyboards, blocking diagrams and budgets, my iPad also serves as a handy wireless video monitor! I'll use it to review dailies (footage taken at a previous time), view rough cuts sent over from my editor, and even use it as a live field monitor when shooting with the Teradek Cube, an amazing transmitter that can beams a video camera's signal straight to your iDevice. In short, the iPad is an ideal way to view video while on location. That is, until the sun comes out, at which point, it transforms from a gorgeous video display into a horribly reflective, mostly-useless makeup mirror. Thankfully, Macworld/iWorld has brought us another treasure in the form of the Hoodini -- a collapsable iPad shade from Hoodivision. The shade uses a magnetic band and nano-suction tape (anything with 'nano' in its name is sexier - scientific fact) to quickly connect (and stay connected) to your iPad, giving you a completely shaded view of your screen. When you're done, it just pops right off, and folds back up. Not only does it help avoid reflections, it also keeps your iPad cooler! The Hoodini is available in a variety of colors, with separate models designed for full size iPads and Minis. Good stuff!
Selling More by Talking Less - Sales Training, Sales Motivation, Sales Techniques, Prospecting
Whenever I'm selling to this style, I get a little nervous. Here's Why...
The governor of the Bank of Greece says the recession has cut Greece’s economic output by 20.1 percent between 2008 and 2012. Earlier this week George Provopoulos says the country is “clearly improving,” but Greece’s economy would remain stuck in recession in 2013. Alison Johnston is a comparative political scientist at Oregon State University, and studies economics and labor markets in the European Union. She says Greece will only leave the eurozone voluntarily. “Are countries going to get kicked out of the euro?” Johnston asks. “Whenever I'm asked this question, I like to ask people, 'Well how likely is it that you think that a state like Massachusetts could kick a state like California out of the dollar because California might be borrowing from the U.S. government?'”
Nitin Garg is a Delhi based designer and graphics artist who in his free time creates as he describes it, 'organic ambient soundscapes'. Influenced by artists such as Brian Eno, Hammock, Keith Kennif, Sigur Rós, Stars Of The Lid and other ambient and post-rock projects he creates a joyful experimentation of space, time and imagery in music that starts simply with field recordings, a laptop and a couple of keyboards. "Most of the time I am inspired by nature and the sounds of everyday life within the urban spaces around us. Whenever I'm working on something I usually have a visualisation of a place, memory or moment which I then try to recreate." A core member of Mumbai based blog The Future Elements which provides music reviews, interviews and podcasts from post-rock, shoegaze, drone, ambient and alternative electronic music scenes from across the world, Nitin is passionate about the signature sound that he has created for himself. Currently working on an EP which he hopes to release later this year, he aims to incorporate sounds from various objects that include boxes, bells, and pieces of wood as well as from places such as cafe and bars. As you scroll down, the tracklist for Nitin's Wild City mix may at first appear fractured. It is however a remarkably cohesive listen. Whether putting together a mixtape or in the recording studio, it appears that Garg has learned to bring together disparate influences to form a focused musical statement. Like most of us would like, it doesn't actually allow for this young producer to be put in to a tidy little 'genre' box. It does however provide an interesting window into the sounds that make him tick. "This mix is a compilation of some of the music and artists who keep me inspired and who I've been listening to lately. The featured tracks explore delicate melodies bound with multiple textures and electro-acoustic arrangements which help listeners 'slow down' for a while." For a tracklist and further info go here: http://www.thewildcity.com/EN/music.xhtml/article/2050-wild-city-031-nitin-garg
APOSTLE TALK - Future News Now!WWW.REALMIRACLES.COMwith Prince Handley UNLIMITED VISION AND ATTAINMENT You can listen to this message NOW.Click in the LibSyn pod circle (top left). Give it 20 seconds to load.Listen NOW or download for later. For INSTANT REPLAY, go to: www.blubrry.com/prophecy/ There are several music beds in this podcast.The podcast is NOT over just because you hear music. Please email this message to a friend. You may SUBSCRIBE to this ezine teaching by email to: princehandley@gmail.com(Type 'SUBSCRIBE" into the "Subject" line.) RSS PODCAST 24/7 release of ALL Prince Handley teachings and podcasts >>> STREAM Text: "follow princehandley" to 40404 (in USA) Or, Twitter: princehandley DESCRIPTION: In this podcast you will find hear the SECRETS of doing GREAT WORKS – unlimited works - for God. Do what I teach you and you will NOT fail. Then, give God the glory: on earth … and later in Heaven! NOTICE - These principles transfer to any endeavor: business, social, family, military, and political. UNLIMITED VISION AND ATTAINMENT MUSIC / INTROThe title of this newsletter may seem oxymoronic. How can you have UNlimited goals and succeed in accomplishing them? Answer: by NOT limiting your goals. Usually the main thing people omit when establishing goals is NOT allowing for self-perpetuating growth or augmentation. Years ago I gave three automobiles away to three different ministers of the Gospel. I had walked for three years before the Lord blessed me with the first auto I gave away; and I walked in between the time I gave the others away. I am now driving the ??th automobile (I forgot how many) that the Lord has given me. Seven of the autos were Cadillacs (the most expensive auto made in the USA) and in about half of them I had loudspeaker installations. The Cadillacs were excellent for this setup because they had ample space between the front grille and the radiator to enable the sideways installation of a large 110 watt police horn speaker. Inside the cars were also installed amplifiers and secret (hidden) microphones. This way I could preach while driving and have both hands on my steering wheel. The sound was so loud from the loudspeaker that one time while driving down an interstate freeway, going about 70 mph, the cattle in a field a long way from the road even turned to look as I was preaching. In large metropolitan cities I would preach while stopping at the red lights while the crowds of pedestrians would cross the street. Sometimes people would risk getting run over and hurriedly walk (almost run) through (against) the red light just to get away from God's Word. One time while driving through the mountains the Lord impressed me to stop the car and preach on the loudspeaker. There weren't any people or buildings around that I could see but I obeyed anyway. I didn't know until a few minutes later that there were men working down the mountainside building a house. I preached to them from Hebrews 3:4, "For every house is built by someone, but He who built all things is God." Whenever I'm home, in the morning I step out on the roof veranda and look at some of the most beautiful buildings in the world with architecturally superb designs. Amazed at their grandeur, I also reflect on all the planning, money, risk, coordination, and time that went into building them. And I always thing of that verse in Hebrews 3:4, "For every house is built by someone, but He who built all things is God." When I first look at the buildings, even with my engineering background, I think, "How can men build these fantastic buildings?" And then I think, "But God built ALL things ... he made the men and the materials; and gave men the knowledge and skills needed to construct and finish them." I want to encourage you. You can do something far BIGGER than build buildings like these. You can make disciples for Messiah Yeshua and MULTIPLY your ministry / vision through many future generations. MUSICFirst of all, never get so busy that you don't have time to dream! What is that BIG work you want to do for God? You CAN DO it! "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." [Matthew 19:26] "If you can believe, all things are possible to him that believes." [Mark 9:23] "And all things, whatever you shall ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive." [Matthew 21:22] "For every house is built by someone, but He who built all things is God." [Hebrews 3:4] Here is one of YOUR KEYS to success: If your plans fit into God's plan ... you will have God's faith ... and God's faith always works! This is one reason it is imperative to see the importance of Israel, Jerusalem, and God's chosen people, the Jews, in the divine plan of God. For this reason, to help you, I recently wrote the newsletters "The Millennial Kingdom (Part A) and (Part B).” "When the most High divided to the nations their inheritance, when He separated the sons of Adam, He set the bounds of the people according to the number of the children of Israel. For the Lord's portion is His people; Jacob [Israel] is the lot of His inheritance." [ Deuteronomy 32:8-9] In my booklet, "How To Win the World for Christ," you will find seven (7) keys for reaching the whole world. Multiplication of ministry starts with the BELIEF in the potential of one person. This is where discipleship is important. K. Bruce Miller drives home this idea: "Would you spend as much time preparing yourself to meet the needs of one person as you would preparing a sermon for five thousand? How much do you believe in the potential of one?" In my teaching on "Anointing of Multiplication" you will find how to multiply your ministry. In the teaching "How to Start a Church" you will find a simple, effective way to start a synagogue or church in any neighborhood, city, barrio, or village. A few years ago I prophesied to my oldest daughter, Ariel, that she would start teaching God's Word. I bought her a new study Bible and gave it to her. About a month later she called me and told me that the Lord was having her start teaching . She and her husband and another couple started a home Bible study with about 6 to 10 people, alternating from each home. The other couple finally felt the Lord leading to start a church, and in about three years grew to 1,500 people attending. Around 400 of those attending were new Christians, having given their lives to the Lord within the previous year. MUSICWhen you have a dream or vision that you want to accomplish for God, the main thing you need to decide on at the outset is that you will NOT quit ... you will NOT give up! If you don't quit, you'll WIN! … But if you quit, you can't win! Thomas Edison failed over 30,000 times before inventing the light bulb. The Bible says, "A just man falls seven times, and rises up again." [Proverbs 24:16] You have time, talent, and treasure with which to serve the Lord. God is watching for your faithfulness. Are you consistent in good times as well as bad? Are you BELIEVING for the accomplishment of your vision through the years when you don't SEE fruit, production, or growth? Does your plan fit into God's plan? Read Luke 11:5-15. Importunity means to keep on asking; approach God with your requests as persistent and pressing. "And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone that asks, receives; and he that seeks, finds; and to him that knocks, it shall be opened." [Luke 11:9-10] Have only super BIG, positive, more-than-maximum, Unlimited goals. And ... keep enlarging them. Refuse to have small, negative, limiting thoughts, dreams, and visions. Say to yourself, "I refuse to think or envision anything negative, small, minimal, or limited.” Zechariah 4:10 says, "For who has despised the day of small things?" Don't worry about STARTING small ... just make sure the goal - the vision - is BIG and unlimited.Associate with positive winners! It would be better to be alone, and hang out with Jesus, than to associate with the wrong people. There's an old saying, "If you want to see what you'll become, look at the people you're with whom you associate." This is "the law of the group." We associate ourselves with people we are like. Find somebody who is positive and successful and spend quality time with them. If you can't find anyone like that, then spend lots of time with Jesus the Messiah in fellowship, in His Word, and in prayer. I always enjoy when I can be away from people so I can spend more time talking to Jesus. MUSICProject yourself into your visions and goals. A successful hedging investor in the commodities futures market has to do two (2) things: 1. He has to mentally place himself in the trade; and, 2. He has to ask himself, "Do I have the product or not?" These two factors will determine the position a successful hedge investor will take. It's the same way when you plan BIG works for God: 1. You have to mentally place yourself in the vision. See yourself at each stage of the growth. Then PLAN and PRAY accordingly. Pray ahead of time for each stage of development. 2. Ask yourself (ahead of time) at each stage of the project / vision: "Do I have what I need?" If "Yes," pray and plan for the proper implementation. If "No," pray and receive in faith the people and things you need. As your vision develops and comes to pass you will need a network. A network is comprised of: Logistics; Communication; and, Funding. You need to pray ahead of time for these and receive them by faith. And don't always look at the easy way or the path of least resistance. Also, not every package that comes your way (that has your name on it) is necessarily from God. It might be from the devil. It might be from a Christian. For example, you might receive an offer of funding or help from a Christian source, but make sure you pray about it before receiving it. It may NOT be God's will. I've given lots of money back to people after they gave it to me, and sometimes when it was offered to me. Read 2 Chronicles 25:9. King Amaziah had hired 100,000 mighty men to help him fight and had paid 100 talents of silver. Afterwards the man of God told King Amaziah not to go carry out his plans to use these men. Amaziah then told the man of God, "What shall we do for the 100 talents that I have given them?" And the man of God answered him, "But God is able to give you much more than this." How LARGE can you ASK? How BIG can you THINK? "Now unto Him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ASK or THINK, according to the power that works in us ..." [Ephesians 3:20] TRY THIS VISION: A Holy Spirit baptized church or Messianic synagogue in every neighborhood and village of the earth. A Holy Spirit baptized witness in every house, home, or family of the earth. Take this message, my friend, and reach the whole world with the Good News of Yeshua, the Messiah of Israel. Baruch haba b'Shem Adonai.Your friend,Prince Handley MUSIC Podcast time: 16 minutes, 14 seconds Subscribe to The Apostles Advanced Teaching (this newsletter) by email: apostlehandley@gmail.com (type "SUBSCRIBE" in the Subject line). 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