Master Your Marriage

Sharla's back after a month-long break, sharing a deeply personal story of recovering from decompression sickness caused by a scuba diving trip in the British Virgin Islands. Her rapid brain recovery, thanks to hyperbaric oxygen therapy, inspired this episode on neuroplasticity—the brain's incredible ability to rewire itself. Joined by Robert, Sharla explores how the brain's adaptability can transform your marriage, drawing on therapist Terry Real's framework from his book Us. Learn how to make unconscious patterns conscious, harness emotional “recoil” moments, and act quickly to build new, healthier habits in your relationship. Packed with science, practical tips, and heartfelt insights, this episode will inspire you to tap into your brain's resilience to become the best version of yourself for your partner.What You'll Learn: - How Sharla's cognitive recovery showcases the brain's neuroplasticity. - Terry Real's two-step process for rapid change: making the implicit explicit and using emotional shock to rewire behaviors. - The science of memory reconsolidation and why acting fast after an “aha” moment matters. - Three practical steps to rewire harmful patterns in your marriage, with real-life examples from Sharla and Robert's journey.Try the episode's tips: reflect on an automatic pattern in your marriage, have an honest talk with your partner, and practice a new behavior right away. Share your story or insights on Instagram @masteryourmarriage—we'll repost our favorites! Loved this episode? Leave a 5-star review and share it with someone who'd benefit. Got topic ideas or feedback? Email us at masteryourmarriage@gmail.com.References: Want to dive deeper into neuroplasticity? Check out these resources: - Books: - Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. Penguin Books. Inspiring stories of how neuroplasticity transforms lives, perfect for understanding change in relationships. - Hanson, R. (2013). Hardwiring Happiness. Harmony Books. Practical exercises to rewire your brain for positivity and stronger connections. - Ecker, B., Ticic, R., & Hulley, L. (2012). Unlocking the Emotional Brain. Routledge. Explains how emotional insights drive rapid behavioral change. - Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind (2nd ed.). Guilford Press. Shows how relationships shape the brain for healthier dynamics. - Scientific Papers: - LeDoux, J. E., & Schiller, D. (2010). “The Human Amygdala and the Control of Fear.” Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 11(11), 761–769. Research on rewiring emotional memories through “recoil” moments. - Nader, K., et al. (2000). “Fear Memories Require Protein Synthesis in the Amygdala for Reconsolidation After Retrieval.” Nature, 406(6797), 722–726. Study on the 4–6 hour window for memory change. - Website: - Coherence Therapy (coherencetherapy.org). Articles and videos on using emotional insights for lasting change, based on Bruce Ecker's work. Find these at your local library, bookstore, or online. Share what you learn with us on Instagram @masteryourmarriage!

In this episode of Master Your Marriage, hosts Sharla and Robert dive into the dynamics of power struggles in relationships and explore how accepting your partner's influence can transform your connection from "I" to "We." Discover why this skill is crucial for a happy, lasting relationship and learn practical steps to navigate disagreements with emotional intelligence.Episode HighlightsThe Importance of Accepting Influence: Learn why accepting your partner's influence is a cornerstone of a secure relationship, backed by Dr. John Gottman's research showing that 81% of couples who don't accept influence may split up.Why Power Struggles Happen: Understand how societal pressures and the brain's “amygdala hijack” turn disagreements into perceived threats, making it hard to stay open to your partner's perspective.Real-Life Examples: Sharla and Robert share candid stories, including Sharla's past struggles with needing to “win” arguments and how shifting to a “we” mindset changed their relationship.Practical Steps to Accept Influence:Get curious and seek your partner's perspective.Define your goal for the conversation (e.g., preserving the relationship or finding a win-win).Ask, “What are we really disagreeing about?” to uncover core values and needs.Language of Influence: Discover emotionally intelligent phrases like “Help me understand your position” or “Let's find our common ground” to foster collaboration during conflicts.Gender Dynamics: Explore why accepting influence can be harder for some, particularly heterosexual men, and how both partners benefit from mutual influence.Key TakeawaysAccepting influence doesn't mean giving up power—it's about building mutual respect and influence in your relationship.Conflict is a gift that, when handled well, deepens love and understanding.Practicing these skills leads to greater happiness, emotional intelligence, and a more secure attachment.Resources & ReferencesDr. John Gottman's Research: Learn more about the 8 predictors of divorce and the science behind relationship success.Emotional Intelligence: Explore Daniel Goleman's concept of “amygdala hijack” and how it affects conflict.What's Next?Subscribe: Don't miss a single episode! Hit the subscribe button to get new episodes every Wednesday.Rate & Review: Help us reach more people by leaving a 5-star review and sharing your thoughts.Share: Know someone who could benefit from this episode? Share it with them to help strengthen their relationships.Connect: Follow us on IG @masteryourmarriage for more relationship tips and updates.Quote of the Episode“Accepting your partner's influence communicates that you care and respect them. It means you're a team, and you're in this together. You are a ‘WE,' rather than an ‘I.'” – Robert Snow

Struggling with overwhelm, shutdown, or emotional reactivity in your relationship? Our new Window of Tolerance Worksheet helps you identify your triggers, recognize dysregulation, and develop strategies to regain balance so you can show up as your best self in your marriage.Limited-Time Offer: Get it now for only $5 (regularly $19)!

Struggling with overwhelm, shutdown, or emotional reactivity in your relationship? Our new Window of Tolerance Worksheet helps you identify your triggers, recognize dysregulation, and develop strategies to regain balance so you can show up as your best self in your marriage.Limited-Time Offer: Get it now for only $5 (regularly $19)!

Struggling with overwhelm, shutdown, or emotional reactivity in your relationship? Our new Window of Tolerance Worksheet helps you identify your triggers, recognize dysregulation, and develop strategies to regain balance so you can show up as your best self in your marriage.Limited-Time Offer: Get it now for only $5 (regularly $19)!

Struggling with overwhelm, shutdown, or emotional reactivity in your relationship? Our new Window of Tolerance Worksheet helps you identify your triggers, recognize dysregulation, and develop strategies to regain balance so you can show up as your best self in your marriage.Limited-Time Offer: Get it now for only $5 (regularly $19)!

Struggling with overwhelm, shutdown, or emotional reactivity in your relationship? Our new Window of Tolerance Worksheet helps you identify your triggers, recognize dysregulation, and develop strategies to regain balance so you can show up as your best self in your marriage.Limited-Time Offer: Get it now for only $5 (regularly $19)!

In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we dive into the concept of the 'window of tolerance,' a psychological framework that helps couples understand their emotional responses during difficult conversations. We explore the states of hyper and hypo arousal, how these affect communication, and strategies to widen one's window of tolerance for healthier interactions. We share the importance of self-awareness and practical techniques to manage stress and improve relationship dynamics.Takeaways:Understanding the window of tolerance can prevent stress in marriage.Hyper arousal is characterized by anxiety and anger, while hypo arousal is about numbness and withdrawal.Staying within your window of tolerance allows for better communication and problem-solving.Life events can narrow your window of tolerance, making it harder to cope with stress.Practicing 'micro sucks' can help expand your window of tolerance.Breathing exercises can reset your emotional state before difficult conversations.Grounding techniques can help couples reconnect during stressful moments.Recognizing personal patterns of dysregulation is crucial for relationship health.Sleep and physical health significantly impact emotional regulation.Building resilience in relationships requires ongoing practice and awareness.Next Steps:For more practical tools and tips, follow Robert and Sharla on Instagram, and leave a review if this episode resonated with you.

In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we explore the concept of small, consistent improvements in relationships, drawing parallels to the success of the British cycling team under Dave Brailsford. Real transformation occurs not through grand gestures but through tiny, daily efforts that accumulate over time. The discussion includes practical strategies for couples to enhance their relationships by focusing on self-governance, conflict resolution, friendship, and shared meaning systems. We encourage our listeners to adopt a mindset of iterative improvements, aiming for just 1% better each day, leading to significant long-term changes in their relationships.Takeaways:Real transformation happens in small, simple moments.The aggregation of marginal gains can lead to significant improvements.Success is often the result of thousands of tiny, often invisible moments.Couples often overestimate the power of grand gestures.Focusing on small daily improvements can change the trajectory of a relationship.Self-governance, conflict resolution, friendship, and shared meaning are key areas for improvement.Iterative improvements can be applied to everyday interactions in relationships.1% better each day can lead to extraordinary results over time.It's important to notice and seize small moments for connection.The journey of improvement is ongoing and requires consistent effort.Next Steps:For more practical tools and tips, follow Robert and Sharla on Instagram, and leave a review if this episode resonated with you.

"Listening is an act of love."In this episode, we talk about the critical role of listening in relationships, emphasizing that effective communication is not just about speaking but primarily about listening with compassion. We explore the challenges of listening, including ego, fear of change, and the urge to fix problems. Why is self-reflection and understanding one's own biases so important, and how can we recognize the value of feedback from partners? You will learn how to provide practical insights on how to navigate criticism and transition from being a listener to a speaker in conversations, ultimately stressing that truth and understanding are essential for healthy communication.TakeawaysListening is the hardest yet most important skill in communication.Effective listening requires humility and the ability to hold two perspectives simultaneously.Self-reflection is crucial for understanding one's own biases in communication.Listening is an act of love that shows care and respect for your partner.Barriers to listening include ego, fear of change, and the urge to fix problems.Internal boundaries help filter out harmful criticism while accepting constructive feedback.Navigating criticism involves acknowledging what is true in your partner's perspective.Transitioning from listener to speaker should start with recognizing the truth in what was said.Understanding must precede resolution in any conflict.Truth itself is not harmful; self-deception is what causes harm.Next Steps:For more practical tools and tips, follow Robert and Sharla on Instagram, and leave a review if this episode resonated with you.

In this episode, we delve into the intricacies of effective communication within marriage, building on previous discussions about emotional regulation and self-confrontation. They address a listener's question about how to communicate concerns without coming across as controlling, emphasizing the importance of collaboration and vulnerability. We introduce an eight-step communication model designed to facilitate honest and constructive dialogue, highlighting the need for calmness, self-reflection, and clear requests. Get ready for practical examples and insights to help couples navigate difficult conversations and strengthen their relationships.TakeawaysEffective communication requires emotional regulation and self-reflection.Collaboration is key in any conversation, especially in marriage.Understanding your role in communication can prevent misunderstandings.It's important to separate facts from interpretations in discussions.Self-confrontation helps clarify your thoughts before speaking.Inviting your partner to dialogue is crucial for effective communication.Presenting facts without accusations fosters a safe space for discussion.Revising interpretations can lead to more empathetic conversations.Expressing desires should focus on collaboration, not control.Small, consistent actions can lead to significant relationship improvements.Next Steps:For more practical tools and tips, follow Robert and Sharla on Instagram, and leave a review if this episode resonated with you.

In this episode, we discuss the importance of effective communication in relationships, particularly during difficult conversations. There is a need for truth and integrity in communication, the significance of understanding differences between partners, and the necessity of self-confrontation to challenge personal narratives. The episode outlines steps to prepare for tough conversations, including calming oneself and recognizing one's own role in conflicts. We also highlight the importance of approaching conversations with a mindset of collaboration rather than control, ultimately aiming for a healthier and more honest relationship dynamic.Takeaways:Hard conversations are crucial for relationship growth.Communication involves more than just words; it includes body language and tone.Truthfulness in communication prevents incongruency and builds trust.Differences in relationships should be respected and valued, not avoided.Self-confrontation is necessary to challenge personal narratives and assumptions.Starting calm is essential for effective communication.Assuming positive intent can help you understand your partner's perspective.Analyzing one incident at a time can clarify misunderstandings.Honest communication fosters vulnerability and strengthens relationships.Self-soothing and self-confronting lay the foundation for productive conversations.Next Steps:For more practical tools and tips, follow Robert and Sharla on Instagram, and leave a review if this episode resonated with you.

"Good teammates don't keep score."In this episode, the hosts discuss the significance of teamwork in relationships, sharing insights from their annual retreat and emphasizing the importance of understanding core values. They outline six key signs that indicate a strong sense of teamwork between partners, highlighting the need for open communication, acceptance of flaws, and mutual support.Takeaways:Teamwork is essential for a strong relationship.Annual retreats help couples align their values.Understanding core values deepens connection.Accepting influence from each other fosters teamwork.A positive perspective on your partner enhances teamwork.Letting go of small flaws strengthens the relationship.Noticing mood shifts shows emotional support.Inspiring each other is key to a successful partnership.Avoid keeping score to maintain harmony.Teamwork creates a supportive and connected relationship.Next Steps:For more practical tools and tips, follow Robert and Sharla on Instagram, and leave a review if this episode resonated with you.

In this episode, we discuss the challenges of busy family life and the importance of creating a family vision and mission statement. We share our process of defining a family's values, crafting a vision statement, and implementing it into our daily lives. The conversation emphasizes the significance of aligning family goals, fostering a strong sense of self in children, and the evolving nature of family values. We provide practical steps for families to create their own vision statements and live intentionally according to their values.TakeawaysCreating a family vision helps align values and goals.A family vision statement serves as a guiding principle.It's important to involve all family members in the vision process.Identifying core values can help shape family identity.Life changes can shift family values and priorities.Regularly revisiting the vision statement keeps it relevant.Creating traditions can help embody the family vision.Decision-making can be guided by the family vision.A vision statement should be visible to all family members.Every family can adapt the vision process to fit their unique dynamics.Next Steps:For more practical tools and tips, follow Robert and Sharla on Instagram, and leave a review if this episode resonated with you.

In this episode, we reflect on their journey through marriage, the transitions of life, and the importance of gratitude and personal growth within a relationship. We discuss the purpose of marriage, emphasizing shared experiences and emotional connections, and offer practical advice for recommitting to each other as they approach the new year.Takeaways:Gratitude enhances the joy in marriage.Marriage is about creating a shared meaningful life.Personal growth is a key aspect of marriage.Every relationship goes through different versions.Small moments contribute significantly to a relationship's health.Communication is essential for understanding each other.Forgiveness is crucial for moving forward in a relationship.Expressing appreciation can transform a relationship.Facing challenges together strengthens the bond.Recommitting to each other can revitalize a marriage.Next Steps:For more practical tools and tips, follow Robert and Sharla on Instagram, and leave a review if this episode resonated with you.

In this powerful and vulnerable episode, Robert and Sharla demonstrate how to process a regrettable incident—a big fight or emotional injury that still holds an emotional charge. Over the past three episodes, they've explored the ideal steps to repair conflict in the moment - which is ideally the goal. But what happens when repair doesn't happen early or often? How do couples handle the aftermath of a major fight? Using the Gottman Institute's Regrettable Incident Formula, Robert and Sharla work through a recent unresolved conflict live on the podcast. This unscripted conversation offers a real-life example of how to move past defensiveness, build understanding, and create a stronger connection. What You'll Learn in This Episode:- The 6-Step Process for processing a regrettable incident: 1. Agreements: Setting ground rules to create safety and openness. 2. Feelings: Sharing emotions experienced during the conflict without defensiveness. 3. Realities: Taking turns describing perspectives and validating each other's experiences. 4. Triggers: Identifying personal triggers and past experiences that may have intensified the conflict. 5. Responsibility: Acknowledging each partner's role in what happened. 6. Constructive Plans: Collaborating on practical ways to handle future conflicts more effectively. - Why processing past incidents is about achieving understanding, not rehashing or assigning blame. - The importance of waiting until both partners are calm and emotionally ready to process. - How the cycle of harmony, disharmony, and repair builds trust, compassion, and deeper love in relationships. Key Takeaways: - Processing a regrettable incident requires emotional distance and a willingness to engage constructively. - The goal is mutual understanding, not reliving the argument or trying to “win.” - Taking responsibility and creating actionable solutions is essential for true repair. - The most important relational skills—trust, empathy, and love—are built during repair, not during harmony. Why This Episode Matters: Conflict is inevitable in every relationship. Thriving relationships aren't defined by an absence of conflict but by the ability to repair and grow stronger after moments of disharmony. This episode offers tools to help couples navigate the aftermath of major fights with vulnerability and intentionality. Resources Mentioned:- The Gottman Institute's Regrettable Incident Formula - Episodes 1-3 in this series: - The Rhythm of Relationships - How to Speak for Repair - How to Listen for Repair Next Steps:For more practical tools and tips, follow Robert and Sharla on Instagram, and leave a review if this episode resonated with you.

Create Your Strongest Year Yet as a CoupleGet Intentional With Your Relationship in 2025: Download our exact blueprint to aligning your values and planning your year, with our 2025 Yearly Couples Planning & Alignment Workbook—just $19. Get it here: https://bit.ly/2025goalsettingIn this episode, we discuss the essential steps in repairing relationships, focusing on the importance of listening, effective communication, and the roles of both the speaker and listener in the repair process. They introduce the feedback wheel as a tool for expressing concerns without blame and emphasize the need for gratitude and acceptance in moving forward. The conversation highlights that repair is a skill that requires practice and can lead to deeper harmony in relationships.TakeawaysRepairing a relationship requires more than just talking; it requires listening.Listening effectively is about understanding your partner's perspective.The feedback wheel is a powerful tool for expressing grievances without blame.Starting a conversation harshly can predict its outcome and the longevity of the relationshipRepairing relationships is a skill that improves with practice.It's important to detach from outcomes when expressing needs in a relationship.Navigating past grievances requires intentional effort and communication.

In this episode, the hosts discuss the essential steps for repairing relationships after conflict. They emphasize that conflict is a natural part of relationships and that the repair process is crucial for maintaining emotional connection. The conversation outlines specific steps for effective communication, including the importance of early intervention and the use of the feedback wheel to express feelings and needs without blame. The episode concludes with a preview of the next steps in the repair process, focusing on listening and responding effectively.Watch the part 1 of this series here: https://youtu.be/PFdG5XMaL7IFind the feedback wheel handout here: https://bit.ly/feedbackwheelTakeaways:Conflict is a natural part of relationships.Repair is essential for maintaining connection.Starting the repair process early is crucial.Effective communication involves expressing feelings without blame.The feedback wheel is a practical tool for communication.Listening is as important as speaking in the repair process.Recognizing disconnection early can prevent larger issues.Each partner's subjective experience matters in conflict resolution.Willingness to repair is the first step in the process.Practicing communication techniques can improve relationship dynamics.

Get the appreciation blueprint discussed in this episode here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1i9oMWjKvBUg4IeujNdzBjLJeaUPLBExF/view?usp=drivesdkIn this episode, we explore the transformative power of gratitude in relationships, diving into why genuine appreciation is so much more impactful than simple recognition. Through personal stories and fascinating research, we share how gratitude can boost emotional well-being, improve communication, and deepen connections with your partner. Plus, we offer practical tips for cultivating appreciation in everyday life. If you missed this conversation the first time around, it's one you won't want to skip!Takeaways:The practice of gratitude is a conscious effort.Appreciation can dissolve resentment and contempt.Successful couples focus on positive attributes.Recognition is about performance; appreciation is about character.Gratitude can lead to improved mental health.Writing gratitude letters can shift toxic emotions.Renewing positive feelings can enhance relationships.Appreciation is a key pillar in successful relationships.Gratitude practices can increase relationship longevity.Expressing gratitude can lead to a more fulfilling partnership.

In this episode, we discuss the essential role of conflict and repair in relationships. Conflicts are not only inevitable but necessary for growth and connection. We explore the cycle of harmony, disharmony, and repair, highlighting the importance of mastering the repair process to maintain a healthy relationship. We also delve into predictors of divorce, the rhythm of relationships, and the steps involved in effective repair, ultimately encouraging listeners to embrace conflict as a means to deepen their connections.Takeaways:Conflict in relationships is necessary for growth.Healthy relationships often experience more conflict.Repair is a crucial skill that can be developed.The cycle of harmony, disharmony, and repair is natural.Small conversations are better than big conversations.Humor can help diffuse conflict situations.Repair attempts can happen even during conflict.Understanding the rhythm of relationships can aid in repair.The willingness to repair is the first step.Teaching children about conflict and repair is vital.

In this episode, we dive into one of the most powerful tools for conflict resolution in relationships: taking effective breaks. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by an argument or struggled to regain composure during heated moments, this episode is for you. We'll share ten essential rules for how to take a break during arguments, calm down, and reset effectively—so you can return to your partner with a clear mind and avoid saying things you'll regret.These actionable strategies are designed to help couples maintain connection, reduce escalation, and create space for emotional self-regulation. Whether you're new to using time-outs or you've struggled to make them work, this episode will give you the tools to handle difficult moments with confidence.What You'll Learn:Why taking breaks is a vital conflict resolution tool for couplesHow to use time-outs as a "pattern interrupt" in argumentsThe importance of taking a break from the "I" perspective (not blaming)How to check in with your partner during a break to avoid emotional distanceWhy a 24-hour moratorium can help avoid rash decisions and hurt feelingsPractical tips for using breaks to reset and reconnect after conflictHow to prevent escalation and make time-outs a productive part of your communicationHandout Download:We've created a handout that summarizes the "10 Rules for Taking Breaks in Arguments" to help you implement these strategies. Download it now: https://bit.ly/4hUEc5cKey Takeaway:Mastering the art of taking breaks in arguments can completely transform your approach to conflict. These 10 rules will help you and your partner reset, de-escalate, and reconnect after a disagreement—so that you can move forward without damaging your relationship.

In this episode, we delve into the concept of reactivity in relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-regulation as a crucial skill for emotional health. We discuss how anxiety manifests in relationships, the contagious nature of anxiety, and the phenomenon of fusion, where individuals become enmeshed in each other's emotional states. We highlight various self-regulation strategies, including movement, journaling, breath work, and self-confrontation, ultimately encouraging listeners to practice these skills to improve their relationships.TakeawaysReactivity is a common issue in relationships that can lead to regretful actions.Self-regulation is essential for managing anxiety and improving relationship dynamics.Anxiety in relationships is often contagious and can affect the entire family system.Breathwork can quickly help calm the nervous system and reduce anxiety.Practicing self-regulation skills can lead to healthier communication and connection.It's important to recognize that chronic anxiety does not always manifest as worry or fear.The small, consistent actions in relationships can lead to significant positive changes.

"You can't change what you can't see."In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we explore the concept of the adaptive child and how it influences relationship dynamics. They discuss the importance of self-awareness in recognizing losing strategies and the need for self-confrontation to foster emotional growth. Practical tips are provided for navigating different relationship quadrants, emphasizing the significance of healthy boundaries and the necessity of breaking destructive patterns to achieve a balanced and fulfilling relationship.Takeaways:Understanding your adaptive child is crucial for relationship growth.Self-confrontation helps in recognizing personal contributions to relationship issues.Breaking old patterns requires conscious effort and awareness.Healthy boundaries are essential for real connection in relationships.Recognizing losing strategies can lead to better emotional responses.Disrupting destructive patterns can lead to healthier relationship dynamics.Each relationship quadrant requires specific healing work.Empathy and compassion are vital in overcoming one-up behaviors.Self-esteem plays a significant role in relationship satisfaction.Real intimacy requires a grounded and mature approach.

In this episode, we explore how to identify and end dysfunctional patterns in marriage that hinder intimacy. We introduce the relationship grid, which helps couples understand their behaviors and reactions when triggered. The discussion covers the importance of self-esteem and boundaries, leading to an exploration of four quadrants that represent different relationship dynamics. By recognizing where they fall within these quadrants, couples can work towards healing and improving their relationships.Take a look at how to identify Dysfunctional Patterns in Marriage here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Wkbm7jrptbSDR7rAnlz1Afm6VNxiEE2U/view?usp=drive_linkTakeawaysUnderstanding dysfunctional patterns is crucial for intimacy.The relationship grid helps map out behaviors in relationships.Self-esteem impacts how we relate to ourselves and others.Healthy boundaries are essential for maintaining relationships.There are four quadrants that represent relationship dynamics.Boundaryless individuals often seek validation from others.Walled off individuals may struggle with intimacy and connection.Recognizing your quadrant can lead to personal growth.It takes one person to start breaking dysfunctional patterns.Small, consistent actions can lead to significant relationship improvements.

In this episode, we explore the concept of boundaries in relationships, focusing on both physical and psychological boundaries. The discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding and establishing healthy boundaries to foster intimacy and connection while avoiding the pitfalls of being boundaryless or overly walled off. Practical strategies for implementing boundaries in daily life are provided, along with a guided meditation to help listeners visualize and strengthen their personal boundaries.TakeawaysBoundaries are essential for maintaining intimacy in relationships.There are two types of boundaries: physical and psychological.Physical boundaries involve personal space and control over one's body.Psychological boundaries protect our mental and emotional space.A boundaryless person is overly reactive to external feedback.Being walled off prevents genuine connection with others.Healthy boundaries allow for vulnerability and intimacy.Boundaries are dynamic and require ongoing evaluation.Practicing boundaries is crucial for emotional health.Self-esteem and boundaries are interconnected in relationships.

"You can't love someone else unless you love yourself."In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we explore the profound connection between self-love and relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-esteem in fostering intimacy. We introduce a reactive behavior map to help listeners understand their own and their partner's behaviors during conflicts. The discussion delves into the distortions of self-esteem, highlighting the one-up and one-down positions that can hinder healthy relationships. The episode concludes with a focus on the necessity of compassionate self-confrontation and the journey of evolving relationships through honest self-reflection.The Self-Esteem distortions: https://drive.google.com/file/d/11vzfQsTiWULK4Uu9pl4fYoa32ckOkDLX/view?usp=sharing TakeawaysYou can't love someone else unless you love yourself.Self-esteem is how you relate to yourself and others.Healthy self-esteem recognizes our inherent value.Distortions in self-esteem can sabotage intimacy.The one-up position leads to superiority and entitlement.The one-down position leads to feelings of inferiority.Contempt is a major predictor of relationship issues.Compassionate self-confrontation is essential for growth.True intimacy requires equality in relationships.Relationships are a continuous journey of self-evaluation.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision

In this episode, we explore the concept of the adaptive child and how it influences our reactions during relationship conflicts. We discuss the importance of self-confrontation and self-reflection as foundational elements for intimacy. The conversation delves into the impact of past traumas on present behaviors, the necessity of recognizing when the adaptive child takes over, and strategies for shifting back to the wise adult. Techniques for self-regulation and the role of journaling in personal growth are also highlighted, providing listeners with actionable insights to improve their relationships.Takeaways:Recognizing the adaptive child is crucial for healthy communication.Self-confrontation is the foundation of intimacy in relationships.Behavior reflects deeper emotional truths and needs.Past traumas can trigger automatic, unhealthy responses in relationships.The adaptive child often takes over during conflicts, leading to regression.Maturity involves managing one's own emotional responses.Self-regulation techniques can help regain control during emotional upheaval.Journaling can enhance self-awareness and promote personal growth.Understanding triggers is essential for effective conflict resolution.Intimacy requires vulnerability and the willingness to evolve.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision

In this conversation, we delve into the detrimental effects of indecision in relationships, particularly in marriage. It explores how anxiety and the pursuit of perfection can lead to paralysis in decision-making, ultimately impacting personal and relational growth. We emphasize the importance of recognizing the finite nature of human existence, the fear of regret that underlies indecision, and the necessity of taking action after making choices. We advocate for embracing mistakes as part of the learning process and highlight the significance of agency and responsibility in navigating life's decisions.TakeawaysIndecision can erode relationships by preventing full commitment.Indecision is often rooted in the fantasy of perfection.Living in the anxiety age contributes to decision-making paralysis.Accepting our human limitations can lead to greater peace of mind.Indecision often leads to analysis paralysis in relationships.Every decision closes off other possibilities, leading to grief.Fear of regret is the primary driver of indecision.It's not the choice that matters, but the actions taken afterward.Embracing mistakes can lead to better decision-making.No choice is permanent; we can always pivot.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision

"Withdrawal can slowly destroy connection."In this episode, we discuss the concept of withdrawal in relationships, exploring how it manifests and the dangers it poses to emotional connection. We delve into the difference between withdrawal and mature acceptance, emphasizing the importance of communication and responsible distance-taking. The conversation highlights the detrimental effects of apathy and isolation and concludes with strategies for couples to recognize and address their own losing strategies in relationships.TakeawaysWithdrawal can take many forms in relationships.Apathy leads to crushing loneliness for both partners.Couples often live separate but parallel lives due to withdrawal.The opposite of love is apathy, not hate.Real acceptance is a choice, not avoidance.Responsible distance-taking requires mutual understanding.Withdrawal can escalate conflict and lead to divorce.Recognizing subtle forms of withdrawal is essential.Expressing needs constructively is crucial for relationship health.Self-assessment of losing strategies can improve relationships.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision

"Defense is the first act of war."Defensiveness is a corrosive behavior that goes against the purpose of marriage, which is personal growth. It is non-accountability, anti-growth, and unrepentant. Dr. John Gottman identified defensiveness as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which predicts divorce. Defensiveness prevents true intimacy and creates a barrier to growth. The antidote to defensiveness is taking responsibility and being open to feedback. By facing ourselves and making positive changes, we can have a profound impact on our relationships and personal growth.TakeawaysDefensiveness is a corrosive behavior that hinders personal growth in relationships.Dr. John Gottman identified defensiveness as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which predict divorce.Defensiveness prevents true intimacy and creates a barrier to growth.The antidote to defensiveness is taking responsibility and being open to feedback.By facing ourselves and making positive changes, we can have a profound impact on our relationships and personal growth.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision

Is sacrifice no longer a virtue?In this episode, we discuss the concept of resentful accommodation in marriage. We explore the idea that sacrifice is often seen as a virtue in relationships, but there is a point where sacrifice can become unvirtuous and detrimental to the relationship. What's the difference between virtuous sacrifice, which benefits everyone involved, and unvirtuous sacrifice, which is done to avoid discomfort or gain approval? We share personal examples of resentful accommodation in our own marriage and discuss the costs and consequences of this losing strategy. Open communication and mutual decision-making in healthy sacrifice are key!TakeawaysSacrifice is an integral part of most intimate relationships, but there is a point where sacrifice can become unvirtuous and detrimental to the relationship.Virtuous sacrifice benefits everyone involved, while unvirtuous sacrifice is done to avoid discomfort or gain approval.Resentful accommodation, a form of unvirtuous sacrifice, leads to under-functioning and resentment in the relationship.Open communication and mutual decision-making are essential in healthy sacrifice.It is important to self-reflect and identify any resentments or unvirtuous sacrifices in the relationship in order to address and resolve them.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision

"Retaliation is trying to cause the same emotion in the other person that you're feeling."In this episode, we discuss the destructive pattern of retaliation and punishment in relationships. We explore the different forms of retaliation, including direct and indirect, and how it can harm the connection between partners. We know the importance of recognizing and confronting the urge to retaliate, as it often stems from feeling justified and victimized. We encourage listeners to commit to non-violent and non-retaliatory behaviors in their relationships and provide journaling questions for self-reflection.TakeawaysRetaliation and punishment are common destructive patterns in relationships that can harm the connection between partners.Retaliation can take various forms, including direct (overt) and indirect (covert) behaviors.The urge to retaliate often stems from feeling justified and victimized, but it ultimately leads to a loss of agency and connection.Committing to non-violent and non-retaliatory behaviors can bring more peace and harmony to relationships.Self-reflection and confronting the ego are essential in breaking the cycle of retaliation and creating healthier relationships.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision

"Contempt is the most destructive of all negative behaviors in relationships."In this episode of the Master Your Marriage podcast, we discuss destructive pattern number three: unbridled expression. We explore the negative impact of expressing every thought and emotion without restraint, and how it can lead to hurtful and damaging behavior in relationships. We also delve into the concept of contempt as a form of unbridled expression, highlighting its corrosive effects on a marriage. The episode concludes with journaling prompts and suggestions for overcoming unbridled expression.TakeawaysUnbridled expression, or expressing every thought and emotion without restraint, can be damaging to relationships.Contempt, a form of unbridled expression, is the most destructive of all negative behaviors in relationships and is a predictor of divorce.Self-awareness is key to overcoming unbridled expression and focusing on personal growth.Empathy is essential in building healthy and loving relationships.Interrupting old behaviors and practicing new ones is crucial for personal and relational growth.

"Control isn't real. It's an illusion... Each of us has this fundamental need for autonomy."In this episode, we discuss the destructive pattern of controlling others in relationships. Controlling behavior is often a result of managing our own anxieties and insecurities. They provide examples of overt and covert control tactics, such as criticism, blame, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and emotional manipulation. The hosts emphasize that control is an illusion and that it damages trust, intimacy, and autonomy in relationships. They encourage self-reflection and open communication with partners to address and overcome controlling behaviors.TakeawaysControlling behavior in relationships is often a result of managing our own anxieties and insecurities.Examples of controlling behavior include criticism, blame, guilt tripping, gaslighting, and emotional manipulation.Control is an illusion and damages trust, intimacy, and autonomy in relationships.Self-reflection and open communication with partners are essential to address and overcome controlling behaviors.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision

In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we discuss the destructive pattern of needing to be right in relationships. They explain that this pattern can lead to disconnection and alienation from others. The hosts explore how the need to be right shows up in sneaky ways, such as collecting evidence to prove one's perspective, acting morally superior, and convincing oneself that it's for the greater good. We emphasize the importance of looking within and examining our own behaviors, as well as the need to let go of the ego's desire to be right. The episode ends with reflection questions for listeners to consider.Takeaways:The need to be right can lead to disconnection and alienation in relationships.The need to be right shows up in sneaky ways, such as collecting evidence to prove one's perspective and acting morally superior.It's important to look within and examine our own behaviors, as well as let go of the ego's desire to be right.Curiosity and equal dialogue are more important than the need to be right in relationships.#destructive #pattern #right , #relationships , #disconnection #alienation #ego #marriage #podcast

The quality of relationships is the best predictor of overall life satisfaction. Happiness in marriage is not about luck or finding a soulmate, but about seeking wisdom and personal growth. Marriage exposes our limitations and immaturities, providing an opportunity for development and maturity. Psychological maturity requires developing a sense of self and living according to our values. As children, we borrow our sense of self from our parents, but as adults, we need to grow ourselves up. Immaturity in relationships leads to control or feeling controlled. People-pleasers seek validation, while controllers seek power. Change requires a fruitful reason, truthfulness, and accountability.TakeawaysThe quality of relationships is the best predictor of overall life satisfactionHappiness in marriage comes from seeking wisdom and personal growthMarriage exposes our limitations and immaturities, providing an opportunity for development and maturityPsychological maturity requires developing a sense of self and living according to our valuesChange requires fruitful reason, truthfulness, and accountabilityValues Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision

Why are you choosing to stay in your current relationship or marriage?Today, we're diving deep into a topic that can truly transform your relationship: The Power of Choice. We'll explore how making conscious decisions can strengthen your bond and bring out the best in both you and your partner. So, get ready to discover why choosing into your relationship every day is the key to its success.Key Takeaways:The Importance of Choice in Relationships;Understanding Autonomy and Its Impact;Daily Choices and Their Long-term Impact;Remember that choosing your relationship every day is a powerful act that can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful partnership. Reflect on why you're choosing to stay in your relationship and what you're willing to do to make it better.Don't forget to subscribe to our podcast if you haven't already, so you never miss an episode. If you found value in today's discussion, please leave us a five-star review and a comment. Your support helps us continue bringing you free coaching sessions every week.

Welcome back to another transformative episode of Master Your Marriage! This week, we're thrilled to have fellow marriage mentors, Kevin and Michelle Davis. They bring a wealth of experience and wisdom, particularly from their unique backgrounds in dealing with the challenges of coming from divorced families. Kevin hosts the popular podcast, "Maxed Out Man," where he empowers men to excel in all aspects of life, starting with their relationships. Join us as we dive deep into the crucial topics of emotional intelligence, effective communication, and the relentless pursuit of growth in marriage.The idea that couples should treat their relationship with the same intentionality and strategy as a business might be controversial, but we argue it can lead to a significantly more successful marriage.

What do sex hormones and emotional regulation have to do with ice bathing? As research suggests, both may be modulated by deliberate cold exposure, and therefore a possible strategy for couples to improve intimacy Thomas Seager, a PhD in civil and environmental engineering, shares his journey into researching deliberate cold exposure and its impact on health. He discusses the importance of individual health and the need for people to take charge of their own well-being. Thomas also shares personal experiences with cold exposure and how it has positively affected his health, including increasing testosterone levels. He emphasizes the importance of listening to individual experiences and conducting N equals one experiments to explore the benefits of cold exposure. The conversation also touches on topics such as brown fat and its relationship to hormones. Cold exposure stimulates brown fat, which has multiple functions in the body. It helps regulate metabolism, modulate thyroid function, and secrete neuroprotective factors and hormones that keep the brain in good shape. Cold exposure can also improve cognitive function and aid in recovery from brain injuries. It is important to be a little bit cold some of the time to maintain optimal health and prevent age-related diseases. Cold exposure can also enhance resilience and emotional intelligence in relationships. Deliberate cold exposure can have various benefits for both physical and mental health. It can help recruit brown fat, improve metabolic health, release stress, and promote psychological resilience. However, there are some contraindications to be aware of, such as hypertension and transient global amnesia. It's important to approach cold exposure with caution and listen to your body's response. Thomas Seager's book, Uncommon Cold, explores the science and experiences behind deliberate cold exposure. His website, Morozco Forge, provides resources and articles on the topic.TakeawaysIndividuals should take charge of their own health and not solely rely on medical experts or institutions.Personal experiences and N equals one experiments can provide valuable insights into the benefits of cold exposure.Cold exposure, such as ice baths, can have positive effects on hormone levels, including testosterone.Brown fat, which can be activated through cold exposure, has been linked to various health benefits.The scientific community should be open to exploring and studying the experiences and anecdotes of individuals to develop new hypotheses and treatments. Brown fat is not just for cold thermogenesis, it also has essential secretory functions in the body.Cold exposure can improve brain function and aid in recovery from brain injuries.Regular cold exposure can stimulate mitogenesis and rejuvenate mitochondria, leading to improved metabolism.Cold exposure can enhance resilience and emotional intelligence in relationships. Deliberate cold exposure can recruit brown fat and improve metabolic health.Cold exposure can release stress and promote psychological resilience.Hypertension and transient global amnesia are contraindications to be aware of.Approach cold exposure with caution and listen to your body's response.Thomas Seager's book, Uncommon Cold, explores the science and experiences of deliberate cold exposure.The website Morozco Forge provides resources and articles on the topic.Visit Morozco Forge for more on Thomas Seager's work.

Hey everyone, it's Sharla and Robert! We're thrilled to celebrate our 74th episode of Master Your Marriage! If you're new here, hit subscribe so you don't miss out. For our loyal listeners, thanks for the love! Don't forget to leave a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review!Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionThis Episode's Highlights:Robert's Career Revelation: Robert shares his journey from contractor to CEO and how a simple mirror exercise revealed his true values.

Dr. Alan Holmes discusses male hormones and the effects of aging on testosterone levels. He explains that as men age, testosterone levels naturally decline, leading to symptoms such as fatigue, low energy, decreased libido, and reduced motivation. However, he emphasizes that low testosterone is not just a normal part of aging and can be treated. Dr. Holmes discusses the different methods of testosterone supplementation, including pellets, injections, and creams, and highlights the importance of individualized treatment based on symptoms and lab results. He also addresses common concerns and misconceptions about testosterone, such as its impact on prostate health and the risk of side effects.TakeawaysLow testosterone is not just a normal part of aging and can be treated.Testosterone supplementation can help improve symptoms such as fatigue, low energy, decreased libido, and reduced motivation.Treatment options include pellets, injections, and creams, and the choice depends on individual needs and preferences.Monitoring testosterone levels and adjusting treatment based on symptoms and lab results is important for optimal results.Concerns about testosterone's impact on prostate health and the risk of side effects are often based on outdated or incomplete information.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Dr. Alan Holmes' Background02:10 Understanding Male Hormones and Aging06:19 Different Terms for Male Hormone Changes09:02 Recognizing Symptoms of Low Testosterone14:44 Debunking Myths: Testosterone and Prostate Health22:58 Treatment Options for Erectile Dysfunction36:26 Natural Ways to Increase Testosterone41:17 Conclusion and Contact Information

The episode discusses the importance of a strong sense of self in maintaining sexual desire in relationships. It emphasizes the need to focus on oneself rather than relying on others for validation and approval. The hosts share a story of a couple who experienced sexual desire problems due to their underdeveloped sense of self. They provide steps for strengthening one's sense of self, including observing, evaluating, and interrupting automatic behaviors. The hosts recommend the book 'Everything Isn't Terrible' by Dr. Kathleen Smith as a resource for further exploration.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionTakeawaysA strong sense of self is crucial for maintaining sexual desire in relationships.Focusing on oneself rather than relying on others for validation and approval is important.Observing, evaluating, and interrupting automatic behaviors can help strengthen one's sense of self.The book 'Everything Isn't Terrible' by Dr. Kathleen Smith is a recommended resource for further exploration.Chapters00:00 Introduction: The Role of Sense of Self in Sexual Desire18:32 The Impact of an Underdeveloped Sense of Self on Sexual Desire29:19 Steps for Strengthening Sense of Self37:22 Conclusion: Observing, Evaluating, and InterruptingFollow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en#sexualempowerment #relationship #marriage #validation #mature #emotionalintelligence #desire

Hey everyone! It's Sharla Snow here, and welcome back to another episode of "Master Your Marriage." Today, we're diving into an important topic with our special guest, Dr. Jenn Simmons. Dr. Jenn is an integrative oncologist, author, and the founder of Real Health MD. She's here to talk about perimenopause, hormone replacement therapy (HRT), and the truth about their connection to breast cancer. Trust me, you don't want to miss this one!Dr. Jenn shares her journey from being a top breast cancer surgeon to starting Real Health MD. We discuss the often-overlooked symptoms of perimenopause and the impact of hormone deficiencies on our health. I also share my personal experience with these symptoms and how HRT transformed my life. Dr. Jenn debunks the myths around HRT and breast cancer and explains how to find a hormone-literate physician.This episode is packed with valuable insights and practical advice for anyone dealing with hormonal changes. Dr. Jenn explains the benefits of HRT and the importance of addressing hormone deficiencies early. Don't miss out on this empowering conversation!Chapters:00:00 - Introduction00:20 - Meet Dr. Jenn Simmons01:00 - Dr. Jenn's Journey03:00 - Perimenopause Symptoms06:20 - Estrogen and HRT10:00 - Sharla's Personal Experience13:40 - Debunking HRT Myths16:00 - Finding a Hormone-Literate Doctor18:20 - Safe Practices for HRT21:00 - Long-Term Health Impact25:00 - Closing and How to ConnectLinks Mentioned:Real Health MD (https://www.realhealthmd.com/)Keeping Abreast with Dr. Jenn Podcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/keeping-abreast-with-dr-jenn/id1697193398)Dr. Jenn Simmons on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-simmons-md-16198389/)The Smart Woman's Guide to Breast Cancer - Book (https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Womans-Guide-Breast-Cancer/dp/B0D38MNWBK)#marriage #menopause #hormonehealth #breastcancer #womenshealth #holistichealth

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionIn this conversation, I explore the impacts of hormones on sexuality, focusing on the changes that occur in women's bodies during perimenopause and menopause. We delve into the physical and mental health challenges, as well as the implications for sexual function. Be ready to receive insights and strategies for maintaining sexual health and desire as women age, emphasizing the importance of open communication and empowerment through knowledge.TakeawaysHormonal changes during perimenopause and menopause can have significant impacts on a woman's physical and mental health, as well as her sexual function.Open communication about sexual needs and changes in the body is crucial for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling sex life as women age.Empowerment through knowledge and access to resources, such as hormone therapy and sexual wellness products, can support women in maintaining sexual health and desire as they age.#sexualempowerment #healthyaging #menopause #hormonehealth #empowerment #ageless #menopausesymptoms

In this episode of "Master Your Marriage," Robert and I dive into how our feelings in relationships evolve over time and how to keep that spark alive. You know, those butterflies and the exhilarating rush of falling in love might not last forever, but that doesn't mean passion has to disappear. Instead, it can grow into a more mature love. We believe it's absolutely possible to maintain and deepen our passion and intimacy for decades, and today we're going to share how we can make that happen.We talked about how sexual desire can change, especially for women in long-term relationships. Research shows that women's desire often decreases more rapidly after marriage, which was surprising to us at first. But it's not that women care less about sex; it's that we want sex that's worth having—full of romance, seduction, and connection. Robert and I discussed how important it is to take responsibility for our own desires. We shared tips like engaging in activities that make us feel alive and confident, because when we feel our best, it positively impacts our relationship.To wrap things up, we gave you an exercise to help you understand your own turn-ons and turn-offs. We can't always rely on our partners to fulfill every need; it's up to us to take charge of our desires. By creating intentional rituals of connection and self-care, we can keep the passion burning. We'd love to hear your thoughts on this, so come join the conversation on social media. And if you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review and share it with someone who might benefit from it. Remember, it's the small things done often that make the biggest impact. Until next time, take care and be kind to each other.

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision"Power struggles in relationships usually result in either a breaking point or a turning point for growth."In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we discuss the importance of accepting influence in a relationship and how it can lead to a happier and healthier partnership. We explain that accepting influence means taking your partner's opinion into account and being open to using their input to make decisions as a couple. We also address the challenges of accepting influence, such as cultural conditioning and the fear of losing power. We share some tips on how to mentally prepare for disagreements, including seeing the other person's perspective, assuming good intent, and focusing on the underlying values behind the disagreement. We emphasize the importance of finding win-win solutions and incorporating both partners' needs in the decision-making process.TakeawaysAccepting influence is crucial for a healthy and happy relationship.Power struggles in relationships can lead to deterioration or growth.Accepting influence does not mean giving away power, but rather finding a balance.Mentally preparing for disagreements can help improve communication and find win-win solutions.Disagreements often stem from differences in values, and understanding each other's perspectives is key to resolving conflicts.Chapters00:00 Intro04:17 Finding a Balance08:06 Amygdala Hijack: The Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response15:35 Acquiring Respect, Power, and Influence through Accepting Influence24:18 Understanding Values27:35 Small Acts of Kindness

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision"Physical touch is a language of its own."Physical touch is a vital language of connection in relationships. It fosters trust, teamwork, and overall well-being. Touch is a powerful way to communicate emotions and messages without words. Research shows that touch improves performance and cooperation in teams, including NBA players. Touch starvation, or the lack of physical affection, can lead to loneliness, depression, and health issues. To prioritize physical affection in long-term relationships, create daily rituals of touch, such as a six-second kiss, a 20-second hug, holding hands, giving back rubs, and creating a bedtime ritual that includes touch. It's important to respond to your partner's touch bids and avoid making touch conditional on sex. If touch has not felt safe in the past, start slowly and seek healing.TakeawaysPhysical touch is a vital language of connection in relationships.Creating daily rituals of touch can prioritize physical affection in long-term relationships.Responding to your partner's touch bids strengthens connection and intimacy.Avoid making touch conditional on sex and prioritize non-sexual touch.If touch has not felt safe in the past, start slowly and seek healing.Chapters00:00 Introduction06:11 Improving Performance and Cooperation15:13 Touch Starvation: The Impact of a Lack of Physical Affection23:27 Responding to Touch Bids: Strengthening Connection and Intimacy26:23 Creating a Safe Space: Healing Past Trauma and Building Trust28:13 Conclusion

"Learning isn't a straight line. It's really more like a roller coaster with ups and downs."This episode discusses the four stages of learning and how they apply to relationships. The stages are: unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, and unconscious competence. The hosts emphasize that learning new skills in relationships can be frustrating and challenging, but it's important to give yourself grace and keep practicing. They also discuss the importance of personalizing the skills and teaching them to others. The episode concludes by reminding listeners that relationships are a lifelong journey of growth and that it's important to have love and compassion for oneself and one's partner.Takeaways:Learning new skills in relationships can be frustrating and challenging, but it's important to give yourself grace and keep practicing.The four stages of learning are: unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, and unconscious competence.Personalizing the skills and teaching them to others can help solidify your understanding and mastery of the skills.Relationships are a lifelong journey of growth, and it's important to have love and compassion for oneself and one's partner.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Connection with Listeners06:35 The Four Stages of Learning15:01 Conscious Competence and Effortless Mastery23:38 Emotional Struggles and Grace in Learning25:29 Relationships as a Journey of Growth

Is porn good for marriage?In this conversation, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the topic of pornography and its impact on relationships. They highlight three main reasons why they decided to address this topic: the correlation between pornography use and decreased sex life satisfaction, the potential for increased desire for rough or violent sexual intimacy, and the increased chance of divorce. They share staggering statistics about pornography consumption and its prevalence on the internet. The conversation then shifts to the personal experiences of Emmanuel Guarino and his wife Becca, who share their journey of dealing with porn addiction in their marriage. They discuss the negative effects of pornography on their relationship, including porn-induced erectile dysfunction and the loss of intimacy. They also talk about the lack of resources and support available for couples dealing with this issue. The turning point in their journey came when Emmanuel reached a breaking point and asked for help, leading them to start a mission of helping other couples overcome porn addiction. They emphasize the importance of addressing the underlying pain and trauma that often drives porn addiction and the need for open and vulnerable communication in relationships.TakeawaysUsing pornography has been correlated to decreased sex life satisfaction and can impact relationships.There is a statistically increased chance of divorce associated with pornography use.Open and vulnerable communication is crucial in addressing and overcoming porn addiction in relationships. Removing shame and stigma surrounding pornography addiction is important for healing.Building a supportive team and changing the environment can aid in overcoming addiction.Understanding the dark side of the porn industry can help in breaking free from its influence.Vulnerability, honesty, and teamwork are key to building strong and intimate relationships.

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision"Empathy can heal, deescalate conflict, and prevent resentments."In this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the importance of empathy in difficult situations within a marriage. They explore three challenging situations: dealing with harsh words, when a spouse isn't open and vulnerable, and hearing the word 'no'. They emphasize the need to practice empathy, even when it's difficult, and provide strategies for understanding and connecting with the feelings and needs of your partner. The episode highlights the detrimental effects of harsh startups and the importance of repair attempts. Overall, the Snows stress the significance of empathy in maintaining a healthy and flourishing relationship.TakeawaysEmpathy is crucial in difficult situations within a marriage.Harsh startups can escalate conflicts and lead to negativity and divorce.Repair attempts and a 5:1 positivity-to-negativity ratio are essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.When a spouse isn't open and vulnerable, inferential listening and confirming assumptions can help understand their feelings and needs.Hearing 'no' compassionately involves recognizing the feelings and needs behind the response and finding solutions that honor both partners' needs.Chapters00:00 The Power of Empathy in Difficult Situations08:00 Repair Attempts and the 5:1 Positivity Ratio21:49 Compassionate Responses to Hearing 'No'

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision"Empathy creates more intimacy, and that's what everyone wants."Empathy is a powerful tool that can improve intimacy and connection in relationships. It involves being fully present and seeking to understand the feelings and needs of others. Empathy is not sympathy, giving advice, or trying to fix things. It requires being present, focusing on the present moment, and understanding the feelings and needs of the other person. Non-verbal communication, such as body language, is often more important than words in conveying empathy. Achieving empathy can lead to a sense of peace and connection.Takeaways:Empathy is a powerful tool for improving intimacy and connection in relationships.Being fully present and seeking to understand the feelings and needs of others is key to practicing empathy.Empathy is not sympathy, giving advice, or trying to fix things.Non-verbal communication, such as body language, is often more important than words in conveying empathy.Achieving empathy can lead to a sense of peace and connection.#empathy #intimacy #connection