Podcasts about pbt institute

Betrayal—whether from a partner, a friend, a family member, or even an employer—is more than just an emotional wound. It deeply affects your physical health, career success, and ability to form meaningful relationships. In this powerful episode of Healthy Mind, Healthy Life, host Avik Chakraborty speaks with Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT Institute, a global expert on betrayal trauma and healing. Dr. Debi shares groundbreaking research on Post-Betrayal Syndrome and why time alone doesn't heal these wounds. She explains how betrayal shows up in our bodies as chronic stress, fatigue, digestive issues, and even self-sabotaging behaviors. Most importantly, she walks us through five proven stages of healing that allow us to move forward stronger than ever. If you've ever felt stuck, unable to trust, or unsure why certain patterns keep repeating in your life, this episode is for you. About Dr. Debi Silber   Dr. Debi is a #1 international bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and the founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute. Her pioneering research has changed the way we understand betrayal trauma and healing, making her a go-to expert in the field. She is also the creator of National Forgiveness Day, encouraging deep healing and emotional freedom. Key Takeaways:   ✅ Betrayal is not just emotional—it manifests in physical health issues, stress-related diseases, and burnout✅ Post-Betrayal Syndrome affects 100,000+ people, with symptoms like exhaustion, digestive issues, lack of focus, and trust issues✅ Many people stay stuck in Stage 3 of healing—how to recognize if you're one of them✅ Self-sabotage is a common response to betrayal—how to break free✅ The 5 stages of healing betrayal trauma and how to move forward powerfully Connect with Dr. Debi Silber  

In this week's episode, we continue our deep dive into guilt—an emotion that often holds us back and prevents us from moving forward. Last week, we explored the many ways guilt can surface and strategies for addressing it. Today, we're focusing on areas of guilt that deserve their own spotlight, particularly in friendships, romantic relationships, and family dynamics. Through relatable examples and actionable advice, we'll help you shift guilt from a roadblock to a motivator for positive change.  Key Topics Covered:  1. Outgrowing Friendships  Many of us feel guilty when we outgrow friendships, especially those that no longer bring us joy or align with our current selves.  It's common to keep going through the motions, showing up for habitual get-togethers despite feeling disconnected.  Takeaway: Relationships evolve. Recognize when it's time to let go, and allow yourself and your friends to grow in new directions. Holding on out of guilt serves no one.  2. Falling Out of Love  Betrayal often triggers feelings of falling out of love, but these feelings may mask deeper emotions like anger, sadness, or fear.  Before making decisions about a relationship, it's important to work through the healing process and determine if the love has truly faded.  Takeaway: Move through The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough before making major decisions. If the relationship has run its course, give yourself permission to honor your truth without guilt.  3. Choosing Sides After Divorce  Navigating friendships after a divorce can lead to feelings of guilt when choosing sides.  Ask yourself: Does choosing a side feel right in your heart? Or is it creating unnecessary guilt and discomfort?  Takeaway: Focus on what feels authentic to you. If closure or conversation is needed, take those steps to find peace.  4. Breaking Up the Family  A common guilt trap for the betrayed is feeling responsible for breaking up the family, even when it was the betrayer's actions that caused the split.  Takeaway: You did not break up the family. Consequences of betrayal are not your burden to carry. Seek support to rebuild your confidence and self-worth.  5. Creating Fun on a Budget  Post-divorce, many feel guilty about not being able to provide the same extravagant experiences for their children.  Takeaway: It's not about extravagance; it's about connection and creativity. Simple, meaningful experiences can create lasting memories.  Example: A client created a memorable RV trip with her kids, mapping out stops and adding themed activities, all on a budget.  6. Guilt as a Roadblock  Guilt often serves as an excuse to avoid difficult but necessary changes.  Takeaway: Use guilt as a motivator for action, not as a tool to maintain the status quo. Remember: Hard now, easy later; easy now, hard later. Choosing growth may be challenging in the moment, but it leads to lasting peace and clarity.  Memorable Quotes:  “Relationships are here for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Recognize the difference and honor the role they've played.”  “Hard now, easy later. Easy now, hard later. Take your pick because it's going to be one of those two.”  “Guilt isn't a productive emotion unless it motivates you toward positive action.”  Actionable Steps:  Reflect on the areas in your life where guilt is holding you back.  Consider how you can shift guilt into action by having honest conversations or making aligned choices.  Embrace change as a pathway to growth, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.  Resources Mentioned:  Last week's episode on guilt (Episode 406).  The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough (explore more here).  PBT Institute resources for support and guidance.  Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi  The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.  For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.  For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.  Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz  Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.    Final Thoughts: Guilt, while natural, often keeps us stuck in patterns that no longer serve us. By recognizing its presence and taking intentional steps toward clarity and growth, we can free ourselves from its grip. Remember: Growth and healing are within your reach—all it takes is the courage to begin.  Tune in Next Week: Join us for the next episode as we explore another facet of healing and rebuilding after betrayal. See you then! 

In this episode, we dive deep into one of the most debilitating emotions we all experience: guilt. Guilt keeps us stuck, sad, and even sick—but what if we could flip the script? I explore how guilt shows up for the betrayer, the betrayed, and in everyday situations, offering actionable strategies to turn this "useless emotion" into a motivator for positive change.  What You'll Learn in This Episode:  The Betrayer's Guilt:  Why guilt is unproductive if it only keeps you stuck.  How to tie guilt to positive actions, like doing or saying something kind to your partner or children.  How guilt can serve as a motivator for growth and transformation.   The Betrayed's Guilt:  Feeling guilty for revenge thoughts, rage, or anger during early healing stages.  Why you shouldn't blame yourself for someone else's betrayal.  How to process emotions without acting on them in ways you may regret later.   Guilt in Everyday Life:  Feeling guilty for enjoying downtime, indulging in a treat, or taking care of yourself.  How guilt tied to fun or self-care stems from old beliefs around worthiness and productivity.  Why giving yourself permission to fully enjoy life is essential to well-being.  Key Takeaways:  Guilt is often tied to worthiness. If you're feeling guilty for taking care of yourself, ask why you don't feel deserving.  For the betrayed: your thoughts and emotions are normal, especially in early recovery Stages. Give yourself grace and don't act on impulses that your future self may regret.  For the betrayer: use guilt as a motivator to make amends and grow into a better version of yourself.  When you experience guilt, stop and ask: Is this helpful? If not, let it go or turn it into positive action.  Reflection Exercise: Take a moment to notice when you feel guilty this week.  What triggered the guilt?  Is it tied to an old belief about worthiness or responsibility?  Can you use this guilt to inspire positive action—or is it time to let it go?  Final Thoughts: Guilt is only useful if it motivates change. Otherwise, it's just holding you back. Let's work on replacing guilt with grace, self-compassion, and action that moves you forward.  Resources Mentioned:  The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough framework  The PBT Institute programs for betrayers and betrayed  Stay Connected: If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need it. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss next week's episode!  Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi  The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.  For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.  For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.  Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz  Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here. 

Episode Summary: 
In this eye-opening episode, Dr. Nadine Macaluso, renowned therapist and trauma expert, shares her journey of overcoming a toxic relationship with "The Wolf of Wall Street" and explains the dynamics of trauma bonds. Together, we explore how these relationships form, why they're so difficult to leave, and actionable steps for breaking free and rebuilding your life. Dr. Nae offers profound insights, practical strategies, and hope for anyone trapped in a trauma bond.

    Key Topics Covered:
  1. Dr. Nadine's Personal Journey  Married to the infamous “Wolf of Wall Street,” Jordan Belfort, and the realities behind the glamour depicted in the movie.  Her experience with love bombing, coercion, abuse, and the eventual breaking point that led her to leave.  How her journey inspired her to become a therapist specializing in trauma and toxic relationships.    2. What Is a Trauma Bond?  A toxic, dysfunctional relationship characterized by power imbalance and cycles of intermittent reinforcement (e.g., love bombing followed by abuse).  Key conditions: One partner seeks control while the other becomes emotionally attached despite the harm.  The confusing mix of highs and lows that keeps people trapped in these relationships.    3. Recognizing a Trauma Bond  Signs of a trauma bond: self-sacrifice, self-abandonment, and rationalizing abusive behavior.  The importance of radical acceptance and recognizing the reality of the relationship.  Dispelling the myth that the victim is at fault for the abuse.    4. Breaking Free from a Trauma Bond  The importance of having a plan before leaving: gather financial, legal, and personal resources.  Learning to “wear the mask” and act normal while preparing your exit.  Why reaching out for support and building resilience in a safe community is critical.    5. Rebuilding Your Life After Leaving  Turning the focus inward: rediscovering who you are, addressing developmental trauma, and strengthening your self-worth.  The role of self-care, therapy, and community in stabilizing after a trauma bond.  Embracing the healing journey as an opportunity to create a life you love.    6. Dr. Nae's Advice for Healing  Abuse is never the victim's fault, and healing is possible for everyone.  The importance of recognizing the impulse to heal and following it step by step.  Building new neural pathways to replace patterns of shame and self-blame with empowerment.  
  Key Takeaways:  Trauma bonds are rooted in control and manipulation, not love. Recognizing the reality of the relationship is the first step to breaking free.  Healing requires a plan, support, and the willingness to prioritize your self-care and growth.  The power to rebuild your life lies within you, and a brighter, healthier future is possible.  
  Resources Mentioned:  Dr. Nadine's Website: DrNae.com  Free assessments and resources, including a trauma bond assessment.  Dr. Nadine on Social Media:  Instagram: @NadineMacaluso  TikTok: @DrNaeLMFT  Dr. Nadine's Book: Run Like Hell  Available on her website and Amazon.  
    Subscribe to the PBT Institute's resources for more on healing from betrayal and transforming your life!     The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.    For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.    For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.    Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz    Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.     Closing Message:
If you're in a trauma bond or recovering from one, know that healing is possible. With the right support, resources, and inner work, you can rebuild a life filled with freedom, strength, and love. Follow Dr. Nadine for more insights and take that first step toward your breakthrough today.
















 

Episode Summary:
In this episode, Dr. Evan Hirsch, a world-renowned expert on fatigue and sleep, joins us to explore the profound connection between betrayal trauma and chronic fatigue. Together, we uncover why betrayal wreaks havoc on your energy, hormones, and sleep patterns—and, most importantly, what you can do to start feeling like yourself again. If you're feeling exhausted, foggy-headed, or unable to sleep after betrayal, this episode is a must-listen.

    Key Topics Covered:
    1. The Science Behind Fatigue and Betrayal  How betrayal trauma creates stress that damages the mitochondria (your body's energy producers) and disrupts your hormones, particularly cortisol.  The cascading effects of chronic stress on your sleep cycle, immune system, and overall health.  Why betrayal often leads to feelings of extreme fatigue and "walking through mud."   2. Acute Fatigue vs. Chronic Fatigue  The difference between temporary fatigue caused by lack of sleep and chronic fatigue that persists for months.  Signs that your fatigue has become a chronic issue requiring deeper intervention.   3. The Impact of Poor Sleep on Your Health  The relationship between sleep deprivation and weakened immune function, inability to detoxify, and hormonal imbalances.  Why sleep is essential for brain health—your brain shrinks by 60% during sleep to "wring out" toxins.  The link between poor sleep and weight issues, accelerated aging, and blood sugar dysregulation.   4. Dr. Evan Hirsch's Four-Step Approach to Fatigue Recovery:  Identify Root Causes:  The "Toxic Five" that lead to chronic fatigue: heavy metals, chemicals, mold, infections, and trauma like betrayal.  Replace Deficiencies (check with your doctor first):  Boosting key hormones and nutrients (e.g., cortisol, thyroid, progesterone, B12) to restore balance and recreate a healthy circadian rhythm.  Open Detox Pathways:  Supporting liver, kidney, and lymphatic drainage to help your body eliminate toxins effectively.  Remove the "Toxic Five":  Gradually addressing heavy metals, molds, and other underlying toxins to support long-term healing.   Practical Tips for Improving Sleep and Energy:  Start with mindset work: Reframe limiting beliefs and focus on empowering questions like, “How can I love myself more today?”  Use simple breathing techniques and nervous system retraining to move out of fight-or-flight mode into rest-and-digest.  Focus on small lifestyle changes: hydration, proper nutrition, and gentle movement if you're too fatigued for rigorous exercise.  Remember that healing takes time—especially when addressing deeper toxic burdens alongside trauma recovery.   How Fatigue Affects Other Areas of Your Life:  Brain Fog: A lack of sleep and mitochondrial dysfunction contribute to difficulty focusing and thinking clearly.  Hormonal Imbalances: Chronic stress compromises adrenal and sex hormone function, worsening symptoms like fatigue, weight gain, and disrupted cycles.  Accelerated Aging: Stress and hormonal imbalances lead to wrinkles, loss of elasticity, and other signs of aging—but healing can reverse these effects.   Key Takeaways:  Betrayal trauma sets off a cascade of stress responses that deplete your energy and disrupt your sleep.  Addressing root causes—hormonal imbalances, toxic burdens, and nervous system dysregulation—is essential for long-term recovery.  Small, actionable steps like mindset shifts, proper nutrition, and breathwork can help you start regaining control and energy today.   Resources Mentioned:  Dr. Evan Hirsch's Website: EnergyMDMethod.com  Masterclass: Learn more about Dr. Hirsch's approach to addressing fatigue and sleep issues.  The PBT Institute: Explore programs designed to help you heal from betrayal and rebuild your energy and life.  Connect with Us:  Visit The PBT Institute for resources to move from betrayal to breakthrough.  Check out Dr. Hirsch's previous masterclass inside The PBT Institute for more insights on improving sleep and energy.   Closing Message:
Healing from betrayal and regaining your energy is possible. Take the first step toward restorative sleep and vibrant health by addressing the root causes of your fatigue. Together, we can help you reclaim your power and move toward breakthrough.


















 

Episode Summary:
In this episode, we dive deep into the overwhelming emotions that follow betrayal and how to navigate through them. Betrayal is unlike any other trauma—it shatters trust, self-worth, and your sense of safety. But healing is possible, and this episode will guide you through seven actionable steps to help you regain control, rebuild your foundation, and start moving toward your breakthrough.    Key Topics Covered:   Betrayal as a Unique Trauma  Betrayal affects the self deeply, shattering confidence, worthiness, and trust.  Unlike other traumas, betrayal comes from those closest to us, making the pain more profound.  Insights from the TEDx talk Do You Have Post-Betrayal Syndrome?  highlight the raw and all-consuming pain of betrayal.   The Seven Steps to Regain Control   Acknowledge and Honor Your Feelings  Avoid numbing, distracting, or suppressing emotions; instead, face and feel them to start healing.  Prolonging emotions keeps you stuck in pain and post-betrayal syndrome.   Breathe to Ground Yourself  Use simple breathing exercises (e.g., inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4) to regulate your nervous system and regain calm.  Establish a Sense of Safety  Create a physical and emotional space where you feel secure—a retreat to regroup and think clearly.   Anchor Yourself in the Present  Counter overwhelming “what if” and “why” thoughts by grounding yourself through physical sensations, like touching your arm or holding an object.    Seek the Right Support  Surround yourself with people and professionals who understand betrayal trauma and can guide you forward.  Be cautious of well-meaning friends or professionals who may unintentionally keep you stuck.  Focus on What You Can Control  Reclaim a sense of agency by focusing on small, manageable aspects of your life, like daily habits or your environment.  Visualize Your Future Self  Envision a healed and empowered version of yourself, even if it's just one small step ahead. This vision becomes the foundation for your transformation.    Why Support Matters  The Danger of the Wrong Support:  Support groups or friends may inadvertently encourage staying stuck in the problem rather than working toward healing.  Therapists or counselors without expertise in betrayal trauma may solidify your position in Stage 3 (the hardest stage to move through).  The Power of the Right Support:  Seek communities and professionals that inspire growth, offer actionable strategies, and help you move through the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough.    Resources to Support Your Healing  Reclaim Program at The PBT Institute:  A holistic, research-based program designed to guide you through the Five Stages of Healing.  Access certified coaches, daily live classes, somatic and mindset healing, and open Q&A sessions to address your specific needs.  Community and Expert Guidance:  Join a community of people who've been there and come out stronger. Learn from their journeys and gain clarity on your path forward.    Key Takeaways:  Healing from betrayal is not only possible—it's predictable with the right tools and support.  Your emotions, while overwhelming, are valid and essential to process. Avoid numbing or distracting yourself.  By grounding yourself, reclaiming control, and focusing on your future self, you can rebuild your life on your terms.  Don't stay stuck. There is a proven path forward, and you deserve to move beyond your pain into a life filled with meaning and strength.    Links and Resources:  The PBT Institute  Learn more about the Reclaim program:    Blog post: Feeling Overwhelmed and In Shock After Betrayal: 7 Steps to Regain Control   TEDx Talk: Do You Have Post-Betrayal Syndrome?    Closing Message:
Remember, betrayal may have happened to you, but it doesn't define you. You are worthy of healing, and with the right support, you can transform even the most painful experiences into a story of resilience, growth, and purpose. Let us help you take that first step toward your breakthrough. 

Episode Summary: In this episode, we dive into two powerful themes that have been coming up recently within the PBT Institute community: learning to "agree to disagree" and evaluating "what price you're paying for your sanity." These insights will help you better understand your relationships, set boundaries, and prioritize your mental and emotional well-being.    Key Topics Covered:  1. Agree to Disagree  The Struggle of Conflicting Perspectives: When you encounter someone with very different opinions—whether about politics, health, or work—you may feel the need to defend your perspective or change theirs. However, this often leads to friction and emotional depletion.  The Physical and Emotional Toll: These repeated, draining exchanges can negatively impact your physical and emotional health. Over time, the anticipation of these interactions can trigger stress responses, like feeling queasy when the phone rings.  The Solution: Sometimes, the best course of action is to "agree to disagree." This decision can preserve your sanity and allow for healthier interactions by steering clear of contentious topics.    2. The Price You're Paying for Your Sanity  Understanding the "Window of Willingness": This concept helps you evaluate whether someone is open and capable of making amends or if they are unwilling to take responsibility. The "window" ranges from fully open to completely shut, indicating the potential to rebuild a relationship.  Levels of Willingness:  Level 1 (Fully Open): The person takes 100% responsibility, shows deep remorse, and seeks to make things right.  Level 2: They take some responsibility but include excuses ("I did it because…").  Level 3: They blame you for their actions, causing confusion and emotional harm.  Level 4 (Completely Shut): They deny responsibility entirely and may gaslight you, claiming you are at fault.  How to Respond:  Levels 1 & 2: There is potential to rebuild if you choose to.  Levels 3 & 4: Prioritize your healing and move on, as these people at the current time are unlikely to change in their current state.    3. Your Healing Journey:  Recognize the level of willingness in those around you and focus on your own healing.  Move through the Five Stages of Healing (from betrayal to breakthrough) to gain clarity and strength, allowing you to make decisions from a place of empowerment rather than fear.    Key Takeaways:  Protect your energy by agreeing to disagree on topics that lead to conflict.  Evaluate the willingness of others to take responsibility for their actions using the Window of Willingness.  If you're dealing with someone at a Level 3 or 4, prioritize your healing and let go of trying to change them.  Your sanity, health, and next chapter depend on your ability to move through the healing stages and make clear, empowered decisions.    Resources & Next Steps:  Explore the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough framework to guide your healing journey through our Reclaim program.  Learn more about the Window of Willingness and how to identify it in your relationships.  Remember: healing begins with you. Focus on your well-being and take proactive steps toward a brighter future.    Connect with Us:  Share your thoughts and experiences on today's episode—we'd love to hear from you!  Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi  The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.    For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.    For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.    Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz    Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.    Thank you for listening, and see you next time! 

Introduction  Host: Dr. Debi  Celebration of Episode 400 milestone  Reflection on the podcast's journey and gratitude to listeners  Introduction of a special compilation of the podcast's best episodes as a resource guide  Special Segment: 21-Day Forgiveness Journey  Connection with the National Forgiveness Day (September 1)  Overview of the 21-Day Forgiveness Journey's impact on participants, promoting emotional and physical healing  Top Episode Highlights:  Episode 5: Dr. Debi's Three Exciting Discoveries from Her PhD Study on Betrayal  Betrayal as a unique type of trauma  The development of Post Betrayal Syndrome  Five proven stages of healing from betrayal  Episode 8: Forgiveness - A Guide for Those Struggling to Forgive  Episode 9: "Betrayal, Moral Injury, and Addiction" with Dr. Sam Shea  Episode 30: "Stand in Your Intuitive Truth, Embrace Your Potential" with Anna Miranda  Episode 33: "Rebuild, Reset, Restore" with Elizabeth Kipp  Episode 34: "Betrayed by Your Hormones" with Dr. Anna Cabeca  Additional Key Episodes by Topic:  Trust and Betrayal Recovery  Episode 41: "Can I Ever Trust Again?" (Solo)  Episode 179: "From Panic Disorder to Public Speaker" with Kim Strobel  Episode 264: "Stored Trauma in the Body" with Dr. Aimie Apigian  Abuse and Trauma Recovery  Episode 245: "Through the Storm of Early Trauma" with Birdie Lynn Kelly  Episode 263: "Thriving After Sexual Abuse - A Healing Journey" with Denise Besarte  Relationships & Healing  Episode 12: "Dealing with Relentlessly Difficult, Toxic People" with Dr. Rhoberta Shaler  Episode 287: "Toxic Relationships, Emotional Abuse, and Narcissism"  Self-Care and Mindset  Episode 78: "Love Yourself Happy" with Shari Alyse  Episode 166: "Healing Your Relationship with Food and Your Body" with Mindy Gorman-Plutzer  Somatic and Physical Healing  Episode 113: "Essential Oils and Trauma Recovery" with Jodi Cohen  Episode 82: "The Betrayer of Abuse and Its Connection to Illness"  Closing Remarks  Dr. Debi's gratitude to listeners for their support  Encouragement to reach out with topic suggestions or guest requests  Information about The PBT Institute for ongoing support and healing resources  Next Steps  Suggestions to revisit episodes based on listener needs and interests  Continued commitment to cover all aspects of healing from betrayal in upcoming episodes    Resources & Links: For more information and access to all resources, visit ThePBTInstitute.com   The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.    For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.    For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.    Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz    Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.      Thank you for joining us on this milestone journey! Here's to 400 more episodes of healing, growth, and transformation. Reach out with any suggestions or support needs. 

Topics Covered:  Understanding the Non-Money Spouse Role  Defining the “non-moneyed spouse” and how they can become more financially engaged.  Overcoming “ostrich syndrome” and strategies to get started with financial management.  Importance of knowing income, assets, and resources, and how financial experts help bridge the gap between current financial situations and future goals.  Steps for non-money spouses to take control and gain confidence in their financial future.  Identifying Personal Goals and Aspirations  Jennifer shares advice on moving from a place of survival to one of intentional planning.  Techniques like mind mapping to visualize personal goals—travel, financial independence, retirement, lifestyle aspirations—and prioritize them.  Reassessing life goals after big changes, such as betrayal or personal reinvention, and how life events reshape priorities.  The Power of a Family Love Letter  Introducing the concept of a family love letter: a comprehensive message to loved ones including financial information, personal messages, and practical guidance.  Personal stories illustrating the emotional and practical benefits of a love letter for loved ones left behind.  Advice on including crucial information, such as passwords, financial account details, and personal items' sentimental value.  Building Legacy and Reducing Family Conflict  Strategies for communicating intentions to prevent misunderstandings among heirs.  The value of gifting personal items while still alive and creating transparency around inheritance decisions.  Tips on keeping relationships strong within families after a loved one passes, and reducing the potential for sibling conflicts.  Writing and Maintaining Your Love Letter  Jennifer's suggestions on creating and updating a family love letter.  How to start small: prompts, topics to include, and ways to make the writing process manageable.  Encouragement to keep it current and update it as life changes.  Key Takeaways:  Engage with your finances: Non-moneyed spouses can build confidence and control over their financial lives with small, gradual steps.  Mindful goal-setting: Reflect on what truly matters and what you want from life as you move forward, particularly after major life transitions.  Prepare a family love letter: This serves as both a practical guide and a meaningful legacy for loved ones, preserving both financial clarity and personal wishes.  Preventing conflict and building legacy: Clear communication can encourage unity and reduce friction among family members after a passing.  Getting started: Begin with simple steps, and know that creating your family love letter is an evolving process.  Resources Mentioned:  Book: Squeeze the Juice by Jennifer Lee—A guide for simplifying financial topics for those hesitant about financial planning.  Free Consultation: Jennifer offers a 15-minute, no-obligation consultation for questions on financial planning or getting started.  Website: https://modern-wealth.com/  Instagram: instagram.com/modernwealthloveletter/  Jennifer shares her expertise to help listeners create financial clarity and leave a meaningful legacy for their families. From addressing the non-moneyed spouse's needs to practical steps for family communication, this episode is packed with actionable insights for everyone.  Subscribe to the PBT Institute's resources for more on healing from betrayal and transforming your life!   The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.   For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.   For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.   Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz   Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here. 

Episode Overview  In this episode, we dive into the journey from fear-filled relationships to fearless connections with special guest Steven Dietrich, author of Fear Dynamics. Steven shares his powerful personal story of overcoming early trauma and discusses the transformative healing methods that helped him cultivate genuine, healthy relationships. He provides insights into coping with and healing from deep emotional wounds, plus practical guidance for anyone struggling to move past personal and relational anxieties.  Key Topics Discussed  Steven's Background  Steven shares his early experiences of trauma, growing up with abuse, and the fear and anxiety that shaped his initial interactions and relationships.  How these formative years created a foundation of fear in his relationships and the adaptive mechanisms he developed to cope with this environment.  The Defining Moment for Change  Steven describes a pivotal conversation with his wife that spurred him to commit to healing, especially for the sake of his young son.  This moment underscored the importance of prioritizing loved ones when personal motivation alone isn't enough.  Therapeutic Modalities and Healing Methods  Steven discusses the variety of therapeutic techniques he used, including:  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)  Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)  Brain mapping to address neuroplasticity and retrain thought patterns.  Insights into how these tools helped Steven slow down, manage triggers, and transform his reactions.  The Power of Brain Mapping  Explanation of brain mapping, what it entails, and how it provided Steven with essential insights into his reactions and emotional triggers.  The role of neuroplasticity in altering ingrained patterns of thought and behavior.  Reintegration and Authenticity  How healing allowed Steven to present a unified, authentic self across all areas of his life rather than adapting different personas.  The impact of authenticity on his relationships, both personal and professional, and his newfound ability to be fully present.  Steven's Book: Fear Dynamics  Steven discusses his book, Fear Dynamics, which combines memoir with self-help, illustrating techniques for overcoming relational fear and anxiety.  Emphasis on practical guidance for healing while living a regular life without extreme changes.  Steven's goal to normalize conversations around mental and emotional health.  Takeaways from This Episode  Healing is achievable without making major life changes; transformation is often about perspective and internal shifts.  Different therapeutic methods offer unique insights and benefits—finding what works for you is key.  Authenticity and self-acceptance create stronger, more genuine relationships.  Healing from trauma enables a calmer, more present life experience.  Learn More & Connect with Steven Dietrich  Fear Dynamics by Steven Dietrich is available on Amazon.  Visit Steven's website: StephenJDietrich.com  Connect with Steven on LinkedIn for ongoing insights: LinkedIn Profile  Thank You for Listening! Special thanks to Steven Dietrich for sharing his inspiring journey and offering guidance for anyone on the path to healing from relationship-related trauma.    Subscribe to the PBT Institute's resources for more on healing from betrayal and transforming your life!   The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.   For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.   For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.   Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz   Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here. 

In this episode, we explore the delicate balance of parenting while healing from betrayal. As a mom of four, Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT Institute, shares her personal journey of navigating the challenges of healing, all while striving to be the best parent possible. Dr. Debi emphasizes the importance of honesty, vulnerability, and leading by example, showing how these values have shaped her family's healing and transformation. Listen as she discusses the critical lessons learned, from openly sharing struggles with her children to embracing resilience and growth, and how these experiences have ultimately created a stronger, more connected family.   Key Takeaways:  Healing and Parenting: Dr. Debi reflects on the challenges of parenting while moving through her own betrayal, emphasizing that authenticity, honesty, and love are crucial in guiding children through difficult times.  Honesty as Strength: By being open about her struggles, Dr. Debi allowed her children to witness resilience and transformation, offering them a valuable life lesson.  The Power of Vulnerability: Sharing (vs. burdening) her emotional journey with her children fostered a stronger bond of trust and understanding within the family.  Balancing Priorities: Dr. Debi discusses the importance of carving out time for personal healing and self-care, even amidst the demands of family life.  Resilience in Kids: She highlights how children can be more resilient than we often think and benefit from seeing real-life challenges and growth in their parents.  Lead by Example: Dr. Debi explains how modeling authenticity and integrity in her actions helped her children develop their own values and confidence.  Transformation Through Betrayal: Dr. Debi shares how betrayal was a catalyst for deep personal transformation for herself and her husband, ultimately leading to a completely rebuilt and stronger family dynamic.  Quotable Moments:  "If you don't know what you're doing, be honest. If you don't know what you're doing, be authentic. If you don't know what you're doing, express love."  "Betrayal is a full-on reckoning... you get to birth an entirely new you."  "Honesty means all of it, and it rebuilds trust with your kids."  "There's something so beautiful about being authentically you. You're not burdening your kids. You're being real."  Resources:  PBT Institute Website  Previous episodes on healing from betrayal  Connect with Dr. Debi:  The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.   For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.   For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.   Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz   Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our free masterclass here:   Call to Action:  If you're going through betrayal and need support, remember that you're not alone. Check out the resources and programs at The PBT Institute, where we help people transform and heal from betrayal to become their best selves. 

In this episode, we dive into the world of quantum healing with our special guest, Riana Malia. Riana is a certified Quantum Time Release practitioner and master trauma coach who has dedicated her life to helping individuals break free from the emotional and mental chains of the past. Together, we explore the transformative power of Quantum Time Release and how it can help you release trauma, heal deeply, and step into your best life. Rihanna also shares her personal journey, overcoming challenges in her upbringing and marriage, to become a powerful healer. Get ready to discover a method of healing that is painless, peaceful, and deeply effective.   Key Topics:  Introduction to Riana Malia  Discussing Riana's background and passion for quantum healing.  The foundation of her work in Quantum Time Release.  Riana's Personal Journey  Growing up with a single mother and feeling the effects of abandonment from her father.  Overcoming financial struggles, early marriage, divorce, and the challenges of single motherhood.  The emotional patterns formed from childhood trauma and difficult relationships.  The Breakthrough Moment  Moving to California in pursuit of family and stability, only to be entangled in a legal nightmare involving her father.  Rebuilding her life and career after traumatic events and making a vow to break the generational cycle of broken promises.  Quantum Time Release & Healing  Explanation of Quantum Time Release and how it differs from traditional therapeutic methods.  How the technique taps into the unconscious mind to clear stored trauma without reliving past pain.  Releasing emotional weight and breaking lifelong negative patterns.  The Quantum Pattern Protocol  The three stages of Riana's Quantum Pattern Protocol and how it facilitates deep healing and transformation.  Understanding the "dysfunction detox" and the process of removing limiting beliefs that keep individuals stuck.  The Power of Unconscious Healing  A deep dive into the science of unconscious memory storage and the cellular memory that holds onto trauma.  How Quantum Time Release clears these memories and brings lasting peace without the pain of reliving trauma.  Why Healing Doesn't Have to Be Hard  Discussing why healing can be light, joyful, and transformative without dredging up painful memories.  Empowering individuals to believe that they can overcome trauma and start living their “hell yes” life.  Key Quotes:  "Healing doesn't have to be hard, it doesn't have to be heavy."  "The worst of it already happened. You owe it to yourself to live free and happy."    Takeaways:  Trauma doesn't have to define your future. Quantum Time Release offers a way to heal deeply without reliving past pain.  Start your healing journey today by exploring Quantum Time Release and unlocking the path to your best life.    Resources & Links:  Learn More About Riana Malia: RianaMalia.com    Download Free Resources: RianaMalia.com/gifts  Connect with Rihanna on Social Media: Instagram: @RianaMalia  Facebook: @RianaMalia   The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.  For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.  For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.  Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz   Thanks for tuning in! If you're ready to move beyond your betrayal story and create a new, empowered life, visit The PBT Institute to learn more about our programs and community. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast on your favorite platform. See you next time!   

Episode Summary:
In this episode, we explore the concept of forgiveness, particularly in the context of betrayal, and how it can be a powerful tool for personal freedom and healing. Dr. Debi dives into the creation and success of the 21-Day Forgiveness Journey, an initiative by The PBT Institute, tied to National Forgiveness Day on September 1st. This journey encourages participants to reflect, release, and rebuild after experiences of betrayal or hurt. Dr. Debi shares insights, stories, and tools that have helped many people move from anger and resentment to freedom and peace.   Key Points:  The Meaning of Forgiveness:  Forgiveness is often misunderstood. It's not about excusing the other person's actions or reconciling with them. It's about releasing the power that the pain has over you.  Forgiveness is for your own healing, not for the person who wronged you.   21-Day Forgiveness Journey:  This journey was designed as an experiment to see if people could go from anger and bitterness to forgiveness and freedom in just 21 days, leveraging intentional practice and group support.  Participants followed a structured process, featuring powerful stories of forgiveness (e.g., Holocaust survivors, Nelson Mandela, the Dalai Lama), daily affirmations, quotes, and experiential activities.   Three Key Steps in Forgiveness:  Review: Are you willing to revisit the experience of betrayal or hurt? Can you see it from a different perspective?  Release: Are you ready to let go of the emotional burden that this experience has caused you? The metaphor of carrying a 500-pound boulder illustrates the weight of holding onto pain.  Rebuild: Once you've forgiven, how can you rebuild yourself or your relationship with the person who hurt you? This is about creating a new version of yourself or renegotiating boundaries.   Creating Your Own Forgiveness Tracker:  The 21-Day Forgiveness Journey used a simple tracker with three columns: Review, Release, and Rebuild.  Participants focused on one particular experience or betrayal and documented their progress, choosing the day they were ready to review the experience, release it, and rebuild.   The Physical and Emotional Impact of Holding Onto Pain:  Holding onto anger and bitterness can impact your mental, emotional, and physical health.  Forgiveness can reduce the toll on your immune system, lower your stress, and improve your overall well-being.   Powerful Stories of Forgiveness:  Throughout the journey, participants were inspired by stories of people who had forgiven after horrific events, such as the loss of family during the Holocaust or genocides in Rwanda.  These stories helped participants see that if others could forgive after such intense pain, they too could release their own burdens.   Tips for Your Own Forgiveness Journey:  Choose one specific incident to focus on—start with something smaller to build momentum.  Engage with stories, quotes, books, and activities that help you reflect on the nature of forgiveness.  Track your progress and allow yourself to move at your own pace. There is no rush, and each step forward is a victory.   The Distinction Between Forgiveness and Reconciliation:  Forgiveness is about freeing yourself from the pain, while reconciliation involves rebuilding a relationship, which requires the other person's participation and responsibility.  It's important to understand that you can forgive without reconciling if there is no remorse or apology from the other party.   The Power of Moving Forward:  Forgiveness opens up space for new possibilities in your life, whether it's improved health, new opportunities, or personal growth.  Once you release the burden of past pain, you make room for healing and transformation.   Resources Mentioned:  Stories of Nelson Mandela, the Dalai Lama, and Holocaust survivors as examples of profound forgiveness.  Books and resources recommended throughout the journey on the topic of forgiveness.   Final Thoughts:
The 21-Day Forgiveness Journey is a transformative process that invites you to face, feel, and heal from past betrayals. Forgiveness isn't easy, but it's a gift you give yourself to live a life unburdened by pain and resentment. The host encourages listeners to embark on their own forgiveness journey, whether through a structured tracker or their own personal process, to find freedom and peace.    Subscribe to the PBT Institute's resources for more on healing from betrayal and transforming your life!    The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.  For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.  For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.  Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz 

Episode Summary:  In this episode, we explore a deeply emotional and complex issue many people face after betrayal: protecting the betrayer. Despite experiencing deception, infidelity, or disloyalty, many still shield the betrayer from consequences. We'll dive into the three main reasons this happens and the impact it has on healing and recovery.   Key Topics Covered:  Introduction to Betrayal Protection:  Discusses the surprising phenomenon where the betrayed individual often protects the betrayer, sometimes even at their own expense.  Observations from research and real-life examples, including findings from members of The PBT Institute.   Reason 1: The Illusion of the Betrayer's Image  The betrayer often has a well-loved and respected image within the family, community, or friend group.  Fear of shattering the positive illusion people have about the betrayer keeps the betrayed silent, even when suffering.   Reason 2: Fear of Confrontation  A common fear is the confrontation that may arise from exposing the truth.  Examples include potential backlash from family members who may not believe the revelation, preferring to defend the betrayer.  Scenario of a wife revealing an affair to her mother-in-law, highlighting the fear of confrontation and rejection.   Reason 3: Self-Doubt and Gaslighting  Betrayal shatters self-worth, leading the betrayed to question their value and role in the relationship.  The process of gaslighting can make them feel at fault, believing they weren't enough in some way (not smart enough, pretty enough, etc.).  The psychological manipulation of the betrayed into thinking the betrayal was their fault and how this impacts their healing process.   Rebuilding After Betrayal:  Discusses the role of the betrayer in the healing process and the importance of honesty and accountability.  Explains how rebuilding a relationship can only begin when the betrayer takes full responsibility for their actions.   Personal Story Highlight:  A case study of a woman betrayed for over 30 years who sought help to “reframe” her mind to accept her husband's behavior—a situation that underscores the extreme consequences of betrayal and gaslighting.   Reflection and Call to Action:  Reflect on your own experiences and recognize which of the three reasons (illusion, fear of confrontation, or self-doubt) resonates most.  We're here to offer support and guidance to those struggling in their recovery journey from betrayal.   Key Quotes:  “Why do we protect the betrayer? We do it at our own expense, often to protect their illusion.”  “Fear of confrontation is real, and it stops us from seeking the validation and support we need.”  “Gaslighting makes you question your worth and believe you were the cause of the betrayal.”   Resources Mentioned:  The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.  For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.  For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.  Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz     Final Thought:  Protecting the betrayer can significantly impact your healing journey. It's crucial to recognize if you're caught in this cycle and to reach out for the support you deserve. Healing starts with addressing the betrayal openly and refusing to take on the burden alone. 

In this episode, we dive into the fascinating world of color, art, and healing with Heather Eck. Heather shares her unique journey from a career in Human Resources to becoming an artist who uses color and synesthesia to help people heal from emotional pain, including betrayal. Heather discusses how her sensitivity to color and auras evolved over time and how she now uses this gift to guide others in their healing journeys.    Key Points:  Introduction to Heather Eck:  Heather's background in art and human resources.  The moment she realized her sensitivity to color and auras could be a powerful tool for healing.  Understanding Synesthesia and Clairsentience:  Heather explains synesthesia, a condition where senses overlap, allowing her to "see" colors in music and emotions.  Discussion on clairsentience and how it plays a role in her work.  The Role of Color in Healing:  How color can reflect and influence emotions and energy.  The importance of paying attention to the colors you are drawn to and how they might reflect your emotional state.  Art as a Therapeutic Tool:  Heather talks about how creating art can be a powerful way to process and release emotions, especially after betrayal.  Practical advice for listeners on how to use art and color in their own healing journeys.  Auras and What They Reveal:  Heather shares insights into how she sees auras and what different colors can indicate about a person's emotional and spiritual state.  Specific colors associated with betrayal and how they manifest in auras.  Practical Tips for Using Color in Daily Life:  Heather encourages listeners to experiment with color in their clothing and surroundings to uplift their mood and energy.  The significance of being mindful of the colors you are naturally drawn to.  Heather's Personal Experience and Advice:  Personal stories about how color has impacted Heather's life and the lives of those she works with.  Encouragement to embrace creativity in all forms as a path to healing.    Resources and Links:  Follow Heather Eck on Instagram: @HeatherEckArtist  Heather's Website: HeatherEck.com  Free Resources and Color Discovery Session: HeatherEck.com/thankyou  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com      Takeaway: Heather's insights on the power of color and art offer a unique perspective on healing from betrayal and emotional pain. By embracing creativity and paying attention to the colors in your life, you can unlock new avenues for personal growth and transformation.    Call to Action: If you're interested in exploring how color can support your healing journey, reach out to Heather for a personalized color discovery session and start experimenting with art in your daily life. 

In this powerful episode, Dr. Debi shares an insightful conversation with a Transform member from The PBT Institute. They discuss the common struggles many face after betrayal and the subtle ways these challenges can prevent healing. Through this discussion, Dr.  Debi highlights the importance of not staying stuck in the pain of betrayal but using it as a catalyst for profound transformation.    Key Points:  The Subtlety of Stuckness: Betrayal can leave you feeling blindsided and disoriented, with life divided into "before" and "after." It's easy to get stuck in Stage three of healing—constantly reviewing what happened without moving forward.    Therapy Trauma: Well-meaning therapists can sometimes keep people stuck if they don't fully understand betrayal or The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough. Couples counseling can also be challenging if the profound impact of betrayal isn't recognized.    The Danger of Repetition: Constantly revisiting the betrayal story without seeking growth can keep you trapped in negative emotions, symptoms of post-betrayal syndrome, and a stage three life.    Pattern Interrupts: To break free from repetitive thoughts and behaviors, Dr. Debi suggests using "pattern interrupts," similar to changing a physical habit like binge eating, to change the mental patterns that keep you stuck.    The Power of Transformation: Moving from Stage three to Stage four and beyond is about creating a new version of yourself—one that is intentionally crafted and no longer defined by the betrayal.    Tough Love and Growth: Dr. Debi offers support to those who are stuck, encouraging them to embrace the opportunity to grow and create a better story for themselves.    A Roadmap to Healing: The PBT Institute offers a proven roadmap and community support to help individuals move through the stages of healing and create a life beyond betrayal.    Takeaway: Betrayal can be one of the most painful experiences, but it also holds the potential for incredible growth and transformation. Don't waste your trauma by staying stuck in the pain. Use it to create something beautiful in the next chapters of your life.    Resources:  PBT Institute Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  Reclaim (for the betrayed): https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/  Rebuild (for the betrayer): https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild-program/     Thanks for tuning in! If you're ready to move beyond your betrayal story and create a new, empowered life, visit The PBT Institute to learn more about our programs and community. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast on your favorite platform. See you next time! 

In this episode, we dive deep into the complexities of betrayal and trauma with Dr. Paula Rochelle. Dr. Rochelle shares her journey, including her experience working with traumatized children from orphanages and her personal story of surviving a plane crash. Together, we explore the impact of trauma on the brain and body, the process of healing, and the importance of forgiveness.  Key Points Discussed:  Introduction to Dr. Paula Rochelle  Background in neuroscience and naturopathy.  Experience working with traumatized children from third-world countries.    Personal Trauma: The Plane Crash  Dr. Rochelle's account of her plane crash and its aftermath.  Emotional and psychological impact of surviving such an event.    Understanding Trauma and Betrayal  Differences between betrayal trauma and other types of trauma.  Betrayal impacts the self, leading to feelings of rejection and abandonment.    The Brain's Response to Trauma  Role of the amygdala and hippocampus in trauma response.  The gut-brain connection and its significance in trauma.    Healing Strategies for Trauma  Importance of a holistic approach: gut health, hydration, and nutrition.  Use of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine in healing.    Children and Trauma  Common symptoms in traumatized children: anger, sleep disturbances, and gut issues.  The slow process of healing and the importance of community support.    Hormonal Impact of Trauma  How trauma affects hormones, particularly cortisol and estrogen.  Strategies to balance hormones and support recovery.    Neurofeedback and Neuro Emotional Techniques  Explanation of neurofeedback and its role in regulating brain waves.  Benefits of neuro emotional techniques and cognitive behavioral therapies.    The Role of Forgiveness in Healing  The neuroscience of forgiveness and its importance in emotional recovery.  Different processes and tools to aid in forgiveness.    Practical Tips for Healing  The importance of sleep and its impact on trauma recovery.  Identifying and addressing root causes of symptoms, such as parasites.    Final Thoughts and Encouragement  Dr. Rochelle's assurance that healing is possible and individual.  Encouragement to seek personalized paths to recovery and embrace willingness in the healing journey.    Resources and Links:  Dr. Paula Rochelle's Website: www.aysanahealthok.com  PBT Institute's 21-Day Forgiveness Journey: https://thepbtinstitute.com/forgiveness/   National Forgiveness Day: https://www.nationaldaycalendar.com/national-day/national-forgiveness-day-september-1    Conclusion: Dr. Paula Rochelle provides invaluable insights into the emotional healing process from betrayal and trauma. Her holistic approach, combining physical, mental, and emotional strategies, offers a comprehensive path to recovery. Whether dealing with personal trauma or supporting others through their healing journey, this episode is filled with practical advice and encouragement. 

Episode Description: In this episode, we dive into Stage Four of the healing process—a favorite stage for many. Discover the transformative power that lies within this pivotal stage and how it can propel you beyond your past experiences to a future filled with strength and resilience. We'll discuss the hero's journey, the symbolism of bamboo, and provide scenarios to illustrate what Stage Four looks like in real life.  Key Points:  Introduction to Stage Four:  Reflecting on previous discussions about Stage Two (Shock Trauma D-Day) and Stage Three (Feeling Stuck).  Introduction to Stage Four as a transformative and empowering stage.    The Hero's Journey:  Overview of the hero's journey and its relevance to personal transformation.  Comparison of different stages in the hero's journey to the stages of healing.    Symbolism of Bamboo:  Explanation of why bamboo is a powerful symbol for Stage Four.  How bamboo represents the strength and resilience built over time.    Characteristics of Stage Four:  Importance of willingness to let go of past grievances.  Transition from being stuck in the past to looking forward to the future.  Emphasis on building a supportive network to sustain growth.    Real-Life Scenarios and Personas:  Eli: Committed to personal growth through new routines and reflections.  Samantha: Integrates healing practices into daily life with dedication.  Lewis: Actively pursues a better life through deliberate actions and community involvement.  Nia: Reclaims energy and tries new experiences, embracing life with enthusiasm.  Marcus: Explores new pathways and hobbies, driven by curiosity and a quest for fulfillment.    Transformative Power of Stage Four:  The shift from focusing on past betrayals to envisioning and creating a new future.  Encouragement to embrace new opportunities and interests.  The importance of self-love and self-encouragement during this stage.    Moving Forward:  Discussion on the necessity of a supportive environment to maintain progress.  The role of the PBT Institute in providing resources and community support.  Encouragement to leave behind what no longer serves your growth and embrace new possibilities.    Conclusion:  Recap of the transformative nature of Stage Four.  Encouragement to seek support and remain committed to personal growth.  Invitation to rate, review, and share the podcast with others.    Call to Action: If you're enjoying the podcast, please rate and review it, and share it with someone who would appreciate it. For more support and resources, visit The PBT Institute.  Links and Resources:  The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.  For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.  For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.  Are you healed or hardened? Take the quiz 

Introduction to the Episode:  Dr. Debi introduces the topic: using math to aid in the healing process from betrayal. Dr. Debi acknowledges the challenge of healing and how unexpected tools, like math,  can be surprisingly helpful.  Community Q&A Session:  Description of the community's coffee chat sessions where members can ask any questions.  Introduction to a specific member's struggle with being stuck in stage three of healing for 48 years.  Applying Math to Understand Rumination:  Dr. Debi walks the member through calculating the impact of ruminating over 48 years. Step-by-step breakdown of the calculations:  Converting 48 years to 17,520 days.
Estimating two hours of rumination per day.
Calculating the total time spent ruminating: 35,040 hours or 1,460 days. Converting days to years: approximately four years of her life spent ruminating.  The Power of Awareness:  The realization that four years were dedicated to unproductive rumination. Discussion on how this awareness can be a wake-up call to change.  The Cost of Stagnation:  Reflection on what could have been achieved in those four years.
Encouragement to consider the possibilities of personal growth, such as writing a book,  starting a business, or pursuing a new passion.  Moving Forward:  Emphasis on the importance of moving from stage three to stage four and five of healing. 
The predictable nature of the healing journey when following the proven path. 
 Conclusion: Dr. Debi wraps up the episode by reiterating the importance of awareness and taking action. 
 Encouragement to seek support from The PBT Institute and its resources for those ready to move forward. 


 In this episode, we dive into the significance of National Forgiveness Day, a holiday founded by the PBT Institute. Dr. Debi discusses the complexities and challenges of forgiveness, especially in the context of betrayal, and offers insights and strategies for moving towards forgiveness and healing.    Key Points Covered:  Introduction to National Forgiveness Day:  National Forgiveness Day was founded by the PBT Institute.  The day emphasizes the importance and difficulty of forgiveness, both towards others and oneself.    The Challenge of Forgiveness:  Forgiveness can be particularly hard in situations of betrayal.  Common reasons for the difficulty include societal pressure and personal emotions such as anger and resentment.    Research Insights:  Studies show that forgiveness leads to better emotional well-being when one feels safe and valued.  Conversely, forgiveness can be detrimental when one does not feel safe or valued.    Rebuilding Trust:  Dr. Debi suggests replacing the concept of forgiveness with rebuilding trust in the early stages of healing.  Rebuilding trust when feeling safe and valued can lead to better outcomes.    The Path to Forgiveness:  Acceptance is a more accessible first step than forgiveness.  The emotional trajectory from sadness to anger, to pity, and finally to compassion.  Forgiveness should be approached only when one is truly ready to avoid backfiring.    Self-Forgiveness:  It's crucial to forgive oneself for being too hard during painful times.  Self-forgiveness should follow genuine remorse, regret, and restitution.    The Impact of Unforgiveness:  Holding onto grudges can occupy mental space and hinder personal growth.  Examples of situations requiring forgiveness: misdiagnoses, betrayal by colleagues, friends, or family members.    Health Benefits of Forgiveness:  Forgiveness can lead to significant physical and emotional healing.  Example: A participant in a forgiveness journey healed from a 70-year digestive issue after two weeks.    The 21-Day Forgiveness Journey:  The host describes a 21-day forgiveness journey that includes daily stories, lessons, and practical exercises.  Participants track their progress through a forgiveness tracker.    Success Stories:  Participants from the previous year experienced significant transformations and improved well-being. Many moved from initial resistance to forgiveness within the first week.    Dr. Debi invites listeners to join the 21-day forgiveness journey starting from National Forgiveness Day.  Different levels of involvement are available, including live sessions and replays.  Special features include fireside chats for personal interaction and guidance.  Visit nationalforgivenessday.com to sign up for the 21-day forgiveness journey.  Choose a person or situation to forgive and join the journey to experience personal transformation and healing.  Forgiveness is a powerful tool for personal growth and well-being.  Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! Stay tuned for our next episode, where we will explore the stages of healing from betrayal and more tips on building a resilient mindset. 

In this episode, I share insights from a recent VIP retreat where I worked with a small group of clients to help them transform their lives and move fully from stage three to stages four and five of healing from betrayal. The key theme that emerged was the importance of willingness. Here are the five crucial traits of willingness that can significantly impact your healing journey:    Willingness to Move Out of Your Comfort Zone:    Growth begins outside your comfort zone. Change won't happen if you stay within familiar confines. Challenge yourself to embrace discomfort as a sign of progress.  Willingness to Venture into the Unknown:    Stepping into the unknown is necessary for true transformation. This means being open to new experiences and trusting the process, even when the outcome is uncertain.  Willingness to Think Bigger:    Expand your perspective and challenge your current limitations. Thinking bigger allows you to break free from restrictive beliefs and envision a more empowered future.  Willingness to Give Up Your Story:    Letting go of the painful narrative that defines your betrayal allows for the creation of a more empowering story. This shift is crucial for moving beyond being stuck in past hurt.  Willingness to Embrace Hard Now, Easy Later:    Short-term discomfort and hard work lead to long-term ease and fulfillment. Making drastic changes and addressing the root issues head-on is essential for lasting transformation.    Key Takeaways:    Comfort Zone: Life and change happen outside of your comfort zone. Embrace discomfort as a sign of growth.    Unknown: Being willing to venture into the unknown can lead to significant personal growth and new opportunities.    Bigger Thinking: Expand your mindset to achieve more than you initially believed possible.    New Story: Reframe your betrayal story into one of empowerment and transformation.    Hard Now, Easy Later: Embrace short-term challenges for long-term ease and success.    Reflection Questions:    Are you willing to move past your comfort zone?  Are you open to venturing into the unknown?  Can you challenge yourself to think bigger?  Are you ready to let go of your current story?  Will you embrace hard now for an easier later?  Action Steps:    Reflect on the areas where you may be stuck in your comfort zone.  Identify any fears you have about venturing into the unknown and challenge them.  Set a goal to expand your thinking beyond current limitations.  Write a new narrative for your betrayal experience that empowers you.  Commit to making the hard changes now for long-term benefits.  Join the Journey:    If you're interested in participating in a future VIP retreat or working within The PBT Institute, reach out and get on the list. Embrace these five traits of willingness to transform your healing journey.    Connect with Us:    Website: The PBT Institute https://thepbtinstitute.com 

In this special "From the Archive" episode, Susan Guthrie, top family law attorney and mediator, sits down with Dr. Debi Silber, the Founder of the PBT (Post-Betrayal Transformation) Institute, to discuss the trauma caused by betrayal and the path to healing and a better future. Dr. Debi shares her expertise on moving beyond betrayal, the five stages of healing, and offers invaluable tips to start your healing journey. Highlights from the Episode: What is betrayal and why is it so devastating? Why does Dr. Debi say that "even though it happened to you, it's not about you?" The five stages of betrayal and healing: Where are you? Three reasons people don't heal from betrayal How failure to heal can be like an addiction Top tips to start the healing process About Our Guest: About Our Guest: Dr. Debi Silber, Ph.D. is the founder of The PBT® (Post-Betrayal Transformation®) Institute, National Forgiveness Day, and runs a WBENC-Certified WBE company. A holistic psychologist and personal development expert, she authored Trust Again and The Rebuild Roadmap, and hosts the globally ranked podcast From Betrayal to Breakthrough. Her Ph.D. study on betrayal has made groundbreaking discoveries, and she's dedicated to helping people overcome betrayal and other blocks to achieve health, happiness, and success. Important Links and Resources: Dr. Debi Silber's TEDx Talk: Do You Have Post-Betrayal Syndrome? Take the "Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz": PBT Institute Quiz - Discover if you have PBS, what stage you are in, and receive tips for healing by email. The PBT (Post-Betrayal Transformation) Institute: PBTInstitute.com Please Note: This is an archive episode, so some of the links and offers mentioned in the episode may no longer be valid. For the most up-to-date information and resources, please refer to the links provided above in these show notes. ************* Our Sponsors: Gabrielle Hartley, the Creator of the Better Apart Method:  Leading divorce lawyer, coach and mediator, Gabrielle Hartley's book book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate" is a runaway best-seller and she provides mediation and consulting services to couples and individuals navigating the divorce process through her Better Apart Mediation practice. 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Episode Summary:  In this episode, we address a common and challenging scenario faced by many who have experienced betrayal. How do you handle social situations where the topic of betrayal comes up, and you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, angry, or even embarrassed? We provide practical advice and strategies to help you navigate these moments with confidence and poise. This episode is inspired by a question from a PBT Institute member, and it's dedicated to helping you manage these difficult conversations and emotions.    Key Points:    Introduction:    Addressing a common and relatable question from a PBT Institute member about dealing with betrayal conversations in social settings.    Emotional Reactions:    Common feelings of discomfort, anger, embarrassment, and confusion in social situations where betrayal is discussed.  The internal conflict of wanting to contribute to the conversation versus the urge to withdraw.    Strategies for Managing the Conversation:    When They Don't Know:  Have a prepared, neutral statement ready to contribute to the conversation.  Excuse yourself politely to get a non-alcoholic drink or take a break if the conversation becomes too overwhelming.    When They Do Know:  Recognize the lack of empathy or consideration in others' comments.  Prepare a response or choose to walk away from the conversation.  Consider addressing the issue directly if you feel the person is worth educating about your sensitivity to the topic.    Rebuilding After Betrayal:  Addressing the judgment and criticism faced when choosing to rebuild a relationship after betrayal.  Understanding that rebuilding involves both partners transforming and not reverting to their old selves.  The importance of recognizing and demanding new levels of respect and behavior from a partner during the rebuilding process.  Handling Social Judgments:  Being prepared for others' fixed opinions and limited understanding of personal growth and change.  The importance of maintaining a focus on your own healing and the new dynamics in your relationship.    Evaluating Your Social Circle:  Assessing whether the conversations you are part of reflect your growth and new values.  Seeking out and surrounding yourself with people who support your journey and share similar goals of personal development and growth.  Final Thoughts:    Emphasizing the need for self-care, preparation, and proactive strategies in handling social situations involving betrayal.  Encouraging listeners to continuously seek environments and relationships that align with their personal growth and healing journey.    Quotes to Remember:  "Hard now, easy later. Easy now, hard later. Take your pick because it's going to be one of those two."  "What you think of me is none of my business."  "Rebuilding is deliberate and intentional. It is all about redefining relationships based on new rules and respect."  Resources Mentioned:    PBT Institute for further support and resources.  Wayne Dyer and Neale Donald Walsch quotes for inspiration and perspective.  Call to Action:  If you are struggling with these social situations or need more support in your healing journey, consider joining the PBT Institute. Reach out for guidance, tools, and a community that understands and supports your path to healing and transformation.    Outro:  Thank you for tuning in. Remember, this work is for the brave and transformative. Equip yourself with the tools and support needed to navigate these challenging moments, and know that you are not alone. See you next time.    Links:   The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  For the betrayed-Reclaim: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/  For the betrayer-Rebuild: https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild-program/ 

Introduction:    The episode focuses on regrets, especially within the context of betrayal, and explores how to manage and prevent them.  Regret can be about any decision in life, not just betrayal.  Key Points:    Understanding Regret:    Regret often leads to two choices: avoiding it due to its magnitude or cleaning it up if possible.  Both betrayers and betrayed individuals experience regret, though in different forms.  Regrets in Betrayal:    Betrayers regret their actions and the harm caused to their loved ones.  Betrayed individuals may regret their responses, actions taken out of hurt, or their decision to stay.  General Regrets:    Common regrets include missed opportunities (e.g., job offers, travel, not having more children), not standing up for oneself or others, and sacrificing personal health for work.  Dealing with Current Regrets:    Identify the emotion or need behind the regret and find a healthy way to satisfy it now.  Address and clean up misunderstandings or hurtful actions by communicating and making amends.  Preventing Future Regrets – Regret Prevention Plan (RPP):    Projection: Think ahead about how your actions will affect others. If it's likely to hurt someone, don't do it.  Highest Self Check: Ask if the best version of yourself would take the action you're considering.  Future Reflection: Consider how you'll feel about your actions years from now. Will you be proud or regretful?  Applying the RPP:    For betrayals, the betrayer needs to actively work on rebuilding trust and addressing their partner's pain.  For the betrayed, reflect on what can be learned from the experience and how to act differently in the future.  Growth from Regret:    Use regret as a learning tool to develop wisdom and improve future decision-making.  Growth occurs when you step out of your comfort zone and address uncomfortable feelings.  Conclusion:    Regret can be a powerful catalyst for positive change if approached with a constructive mindset.  By applying the RPP, you can minimize future regrets and handle past regrets more effectively.  Tune in to the upcoming podcast episode for a deeper dive into the Regret Prevention Plan and more examples on managing regrets.    The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com 

Episode Description: In this episode, we dive into the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, with a particular focus on Stage Two. Dr. Debi discusses the physical, mental, and emotional experiences at each stage and offers insights into how to navigate through them. Drawing from real-life personas, the episode aims to help listeners recognize their own experiences and feel less alone in their journey.  Key Points Covered:  Introduction to the Five Stages:  Overview of The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough.  Explanation of how the stages impact individuals physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  The importance of moving through each stage to reach healing.  Focus on Stage Two - Shock and Disorientation:  Description of Stage Two as a state of being blindsided and feeling like your world has been turned upside down.  The psychological impact, described as a "psychological earthquake," where life is divided into before and after the betrayal.  Personas of Stage Two:  Julian (Shock and Disorientation): Frozen in time, grappling with the reality of betrayal.  Leila (Exhaustion): Struggling with extreme fatigue and feeling like every task is monumental.  Kevin (Overwhelmed): Overcome by emotions and the chaos of daily life.  Sue (Mental Turmoil): Experiencing brain fog and inability to think clearly.  Nathan (Restlessness and Insomnia): Unable to sleep, plagued by intrusive thoughts.  Jessica (Concentration Issues): Struggling with focus and cognitive clarity.  Diane (Battle on All Fronts): Dealing with physical, mental, and emotional distress simultaneously.  Jenna (Losing Ground): Feeling like life is unraveling and clinging to routines.  Mike (Survival in Question): Questioning survival and the future amidst piercing pain.  Carla (Doubt and Despair): Doubting the authenticity of past relationships and struggling with trust.  Impact of Betrayal on Physical and Mental Health:  Discussion on how chronic stress from betrayal affects the body, leading to issues like digestive problems and physical pain.  The role of cortisol in stress response and its long-term impact.  Moving Through Stage Two:  Importance of recognizing you're not alone or crazy in these feelings.  Encouragement to move from Stage Two to Stage Three (Survival Instincts Emerge) and beyond.  The promise of a healthier, stronger, and more confident version of oneself in Stages Four and Five.  Advice and Encouragement:  Personal anecdotes and stories from the host's experience and study participants.  Emphasis on the importance of not getting stuck in any stage, especially Stage Three.  Final words of hope and encouragement for listeners to keep moving forward in their healing journey.  Conclusion: The episode aims to provide comfort and validation to those going through betrayal, reassuring them that their feelings are normal and that there is a path to healing. Listeners are encouraged to seek help and continue progressing through the stages to reach a place of strength and confidence.  Call to Action:  Listeners are invited to join the PBT Institute for support and guidance through the stages of betrayal.  Encouragement to take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz to understand the extent of their struggles.  Next Episode Teaser: Stay tuned for the next episode where we will discuss Stage Three and how survival instincts emerge after the initial shock of betrayal.    Resources:  PBT Institute  Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/      Subscribe & Follow:  Subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast platform.  Follow us on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook for updates and community support.      We hope this episode provided valuable insights and support. Remember, you're not alone, and there is a path to healing and breakthrough. See you next time! 

Episode Focus:  Exploring relationships beyond the primary betrayal relationship.  Emphasizing the importance of evaluating and possibly redefining other relationships in your life as you move through healing stages.  Key Themes:  Expanding the Focus Beyond Betrayal:  Importance of assessing relationships with friends, colleagues, and other close connections.  Discussion on how healing from betrayal often leads to changes in these relationships. Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough:  Emphasis on the transition from Stage 3 to Stage 4.  How friendships and other relationships can either support or hinder your progress. Impact of Personal Growth on Relationships:  Outgrowing certain friendships as you evolve.  Fear of outgrowing supportive groups or relationships can lead to self-sabotage. Evaluating Current Relationships:  Asking key questions about the role and value of each relationship.  Considering if friendships are seasonal, for a reason, or potentially lifelong. Personal Stories and Examples:  Examples of how relationships have influenced personal growth.  Stories of friends who came into Dr. Debi's life at pivotal moments, providing direction and inspiration. Identifying Relationship Dynamics:  Recognizing when relationships are no longer serving your growth.  Importance of having supportive, growth-oriented people in your life. Intentional Relationship Building:  Deliberately seeking out relationships that align with your new interests and growth.  Balancing different types of friends for various needs (e.g., fun, support, intellectual engagement). Navigating Changes in Relationships:  Strategies for managing relationships with those who may not be growing at the same pace.  Encouraging open conversations to redefine relationship dynamics. Letting Go and Moving Forward:  Grieving the loss of relationships that no longer fit.  Sending love and light to those you let go, and embracing new relationships Final Thoughts:  Regularly assessing and redefining your relationship needs.  Embracing change and growth as a natural part of life.  Actionable Steps:  Conduct a relationship inventory: Evaluate the role and contribution of each person in your life.  Define your current relationship needs based on who you are now and who you are becoming.  Seek out new relationships that align with your growth and interests.  Have open conversations with current friends to see if they can grow with you.  Let go of relationships that no longer serve you with love and respect.  Conclusion:  Relationships play a crucial role in personal growth and healing.  Being intentional about the people you surround yourself with can significantly impact your journey from betrayal to breakthrough.  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  Reclaim (our most popular program): https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/ 

Introduction  Host: Dr. Debi Silber  Guest: Elizabeth Kipp, a beloved coach at the PBT Institute  Topic: Exploring how betrayal impacts the chakras and the journey of healing through the body's energy centers.    Segment 1: Introduction to Chakras    What are Chakras?  Chakras are seven main energy vortices in the body from the base of the spine to the top of the head.  Each chakra corresponds to specific physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects.  Overview of the Seven Chakras  Root Chakra: Base of the spine, related to fear, relationships, safety, and resources.  Sacral Chakra: Pelvis, associated with creativity, intimacy, and guilt.  Solar Plexus Chakra: Below the ribcage, the power center, associated with shame and boundaries.  Heart Chakra: Chest area, involves grief, despair, and betrayal.  Throat Chakra: Communication and expression.  Third Eye Chakra: Intuition and perception, clarity versus illusion.  Crown Chakra: Top of the head, connection to oneness and higher power.    Segment 2: How Betrayal Affects Each Chakra    Root Chakra: Betrayal shatters the sense of safety and security, impacting family and resources.  Sacral Chakra: Leads to guilt and loss of creativity and intimacy.  Solar Plexus Chakra: Betrayal affects personal power, leading to feelings of shame and anger.  Heart Chakra: Directly hit by betrayal, causing grief, despair, and heartache.  Throat Chakra: Impacts the ability to express oneself and communicate effectively.  Third Eye Chakra: Creates confusion and illusion, making it hard to see the truth.  Crown Chakra: Breaks the sense of connection and oneness, leading to feelings of isolation.    Segment 3: Healing Through the Stages of Betrayal    Stage 1: The Setup  All chakras are affected as the sense of safety and connection is destroyed.  Stage 2 & 3: Breakdown and Survival Instincts Emerge  Continues to affect all chakras, leading to a full-blown crisis in physical, emotional, and spiritual realms.  Stage 4: Finding and Adjusting to a New Normal  Focus on the Solar Plexus and Throat Chakras.  Regaining personal power and finding one's voice.  Setting new boundaries and learning to trust oneself.  Stage 5: Healing and Rebirth  Focus on the Third Eye and Crown Chakras.  Moving from illusion to intuition and feeling a sense of oneness.  Developing a new worldview and trusting intuition.  Segment 4: Practical Steps for Healing    Daily Practices  Engage in physical practices like yoga to clear energy blocks.  Use specific sounds and hand positions (mudras) to balance chakras.  Breathing exercises to regulate the nervous system and regain a sense of power.  Creating New Habits  Consistency in practice to break negative patterns and create new, positive habits.  Importance of Community  Healing within a supportive community to share pain and progress together.  Conclusion    Key Takeaways  Betrayal impacts every chakra, requiring holistic healing.  Engaging in physical, emotional, and spiritual practices is crucial.  Support and community play a vital role in the healing journey.  Future Plans  Exciting discussion about co-authoring a book on the stages of healing and chakras.  Resources    The PBT Institute: Learn more about the programs and coaching available.  Elizabeth Kitt: Explore Elizabeth's work and coaching services.  Contact    The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  The Reclaim Program: (Where Coach Elizabeth can help you): https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/    Stay tuned for more insightful discussions on healing from betrayal and balancing your chakras on our next episode! 

In this episode, we dive into the complexities of handling various social events after experiencing betrayal. Whether it's a wedding, a backyard party, or any significant occasion, navigating these situations can be particularly challenging. We discuss strategies for the betrayed, how to maintain composure and focus, and ways to protect yourself emotionally.    Key Points:    Reflecting on a recent wedding experience.  Addressing the difficulty of attending events post-betrayal.  Exploring the emotional and social dynamics involved.    Pre-Event Preparation:    Envision a Positive Outcome: Mentally prepare and visualize the event going smoothly.  Energetic Protection: Techniques such as imagining a protective bubble around yourself to block negativity.  Setting Intentions: Focus on the person or reason for the event, not the betrayer.    During the Event:    Mindset: Keep the focus on the celebration and not on personal pain.  Handling Conversations:  Have a prepared response for well-meaning but intrusive questions (e.g., "I'm working on it, thank you for asking").  Avoid discussing your betrayal in detail.  Avoiding Numbing Agents: Be cautious with alcohol and other numbing behaviors to maintain control and judgment.  Boundary Setting:  Plan how long you will stay and how you will exit if needed.  Decide on boundaries for discussing personal matters.    Post-Event Reflection:    Celebrate your strength and courage in attending the event.  Acknowledge and validate your efforts and progress.    Healing and Progress:    Recognize the difference in conversations and feelings at various stages of healing.  Aim to speak from the scar, not the wound.  Understanding the journey through The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough.    Final Thoughts and Encouragement:    Embrace self-love and compassion throughout the process.  Continual progress leads to easier handling of such events.  The PBT Institute is here to support your journey to your Stage five self.    Quotes:  "Choose the regret that stinks less."  "You don't want to speak from the wound; you want to speak from the scar."  "Betrayal is one of the most painful of the human experiences, but you can and will move through it."    Resources:  PBT Institute  TEDx Talks by Dr. Debi: "Stop Sabotaging Yourself" and "Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?"    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyqOR69dHiU   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX30i6nC7ro       Contact:  For support and more information, visit the PBT Institute. https://thepbtinstitute.com     Discover practical strategies for navigating events after betrayal in this insightful episode. Learn how to protect yourself emotionally, handle difficult conversations, and maintain focus on the celebration. Tune in for tips on setting boundaries, avoiding regrets, and progressing through the healing stages. 

The episode begins with an exploration of how betrayal can shatter confidence and disrupt life, affecting relationships, self-worth, and trust.    Main Discussion:  The concept of confidence is unpacked, describing it as a quality earned through overcoming uncomfortable experiences and reflecting on them to grow stronger.  Dr. Debi shares personal anecdotes and observations about opportunities lost due to a lack of confidence and the regret that follows.  A detailed examination of how betrayal specifically impacts confidence, leading to self-doubt and a reinforced cycle of negative beliefs about oneself.  The process of rebuilding confidence is discussed as taking on challenges, reflecting on the outcomes, and gradually making new decisions that reinforce a positive self-view.    Key Points:  Definition of Confidence: Confidence is viewed as a result of surviving and reflecting on challenging experiences.  Impact of Betrayal: Betrayal uniquely shatters confidence by making one question their judgments and the intentions of others.  Rebuilding Strategy: Confidence can be rebuilt by confronting new challenges, reflecting on these experiences, and adjusting behaviors to reinforce positive self-perceptions.    Stages of Rebuilding Confidence:  Dr. Debi outlines The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, emphasizing the importance of each Stage in recovering and building back confidence.  Examples include setting boundaries, saying no when necessary, and embracing new opportunities to test one's limits and capabilities.    Practical Advice:  Listeners are encouraged to identify and take on one new challenge that can help build their confidence. This could be anything from wearing something different, starting a new activity, or engaging in a new conversation.    Conclusion:  The episode wraps up with a call to action for listeners to share their own experiences with rebuilding confidence after betrayal and a reminder to check out the resources available at The PBT Institute.    Additional Resources:  The PBT Institute for further support and resources on dealing with betrayal and building confidence: https://thepbtinstitute.com   PBT Corporate: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/  

In this enlightening episode, Dr. Debi dives into the persistent struggles many face long after experiencing betrayal, challenging the notion that time alone heals wounds. Through personal anecdotes and scientific insights, the discussion revolves around the ineffective coping mechanisms and the essential Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, providing a deep understanding of the healing process.  Key Topics Covered:  Misconception of Time in Healing:  Exploring why the passage of time is not a reliable healer of betrayal.  Discussion on how we can remain stuck in Stage three of healing indefinitely.    Ineffectiveness of New Relationships:  Addressing the false belief that starting new relationships can mend old wounds.  Insights into why feelings of distrust and anxiety persist in new interactions.    The Role of Beliefs in Healing:  The significance of identifying and challenging deeply ingrained beliefs to facilitate recovery.  Personal reflection on how unexamined beliefs shape behaviors and impede healing.    Personal Story: Overcoming Overcommitment:  Dr. Debi shares a personal story about managing a busy life with family and work, and the realization that slowing down was necessary for well-being.    The Three Groups Who Don't Heal:  An in-depth look at the specific behaviors and mindsets of three groups identified in a study who failed to heal from betrayal.  Discussion on how clinging to victimhood, avoiding emotional pain, and failing to impose consequences on the betrayer prevent healing.    Transformation vs. Resilience:  Differentiating between resilience (restoring the old) and transformation (creating anew).  Emphasizing the need for radical changes and the potential for growth post-trauma.    Strategies for Healing:  Practical advice on moving through the stages of healing from betrayal.  Encouragement to undertake personal transformations and reevaluate one's beliefs and coping strategies.    Conclusion:  The episode ends with a powerful call to view betrayal not just as a painful event, but as a pivotal opportunity for personal growth and transformation. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own healing journeys and consider making the bold changes necessary to not only recover but to thrive.  Next Steps:  For those looking to deepen their understanding of the topics discussed, additional resources and links are provided in the podcast description.  Listeners are encouraged to subscribe for more insightful discussions on personal growth and overcoming life's challenges.  This episode serves as a comprehensive guide for anyone looking to navigate the complex path from betrayal to breakthrough, emphasizing the importance of active engagement in one's own healing process.    Links:  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  Reclaim Program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/      Explore the journey from betrayal to breakthrough in this podcast episode, where we debunk the myth that time heals all wounds and delve into why new relationships often fail to mend past betrayals. Discover the crucial stages of healing and the power of transforming deeply ingrained beliefs. Join us for insights on overcoming the challenges of betrayal and turning trauma into an opportunity for personal growth. 

Overcoming Betrayal With Dr. Debi Silber Blossom Your Awesome Podcast Episode #273 Dr. Debi Silber joins us to discuss Overcoming Betrayal. Dr. Debi is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert, the author of "Trust Again," and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of "The Unshakable Woman" AND "From Hardened to Healed."On This Episode Dr. Debi Silber discusses the stages of healing from betrayal and the importance of post-betrayal transformation. She shares her personal experience of betrayal and how it led her to study and understand the psychology of transformation. Dr. Silber explains that betrayal is a different type of trauma that shatters the entire self, and healing from it requires a unique approach. She outlines the five stages of healing: before it happens, shock and trauma, survival instincts, finding a new normal, and healing, rebirth, and a new worldview. TakeawaysBetrayal is a different type of trauma that shatters the entire self.Healing from betrayal requires a unique approach called post-betrayal transformation.There are five stages of healing from betrayal: before it happens, shock and trauma, survival instincts, finding a new normal, and healing, rebirth, and a new worldview.Repeat betrayals indicate that the initial betrayal has not been fully healed.Fully healing from betrayal involves addressing physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects.Time alone does not heal the wounds of betrayal; deliberate and intentional healing is necessary. Healing and rebuilding trust after betrayal requires personal growth and self-healing.Forgiveness is a crucial part of the healing process, but it is for the sake of the individual, not the betrayer.There are different stages of healing, and it is important to move through each stage in order to fully heal.Empathy is essential for both the betrayed and the betrayer in order to understand and heal from the pain of betrayal.The PBT Institute offers programs and support for individuals and companies dealing with betrayal and its aftermath.Sound Bites"Betrayal feels intentional, we take it personally. The entire self gets shattered.""Betrayal is a different type of trauma. You're creating a new life and rebuilding the self.""Repeat betrayals mean the betrayal is not healed. There's a profound lesson waiting to be learned.""to create something that otherwise would never have been able to be birthed had that not happen.""Forgiveness really is for you.""Rebuilding a new relationship that has so much to do with the other person."To learn more about Dr. Debi click here. Chapters00:00Introduction and Background01:03Personal Experience of Betrayal09:14The Five Stages of Healing from Betrayal12:49The Importance of Post-Betrayal Transformation23:12Building a New and Better Version of Yourself24:31Healing and Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal27:42The Role of Forgiveness in the Healing Process29:41The Stages of Healing and Personal Growth30:18The Importance of Empathy for Both the Betrayed and the Betrayer37:59The PBT Institute: Supporting Individuals and Companies in Healing from BetrayalTo follow me, get bonus content from the show and to support my writing Check me out here at my Substack. To see more of my work check me out at my website. Or my other site

In this episode, we dive into a common but limiting mindset: resignation. Resignation leads many of us to accept less than we deserve, believing "this is just the way it is" and nothing can change. In this episode, Dr. Debi shares personal anecdotes and insights on how our beliefs shape our reality and how challenging and changing these beliefs can lead to significant transformation in our lives.  Key Points Discussed:  The Power of Resignation: Explore how resignation can limit our potential by convincing us to accept our current circumstances without question.  Mindset and Reality: Learn how our mindset, particularly beliefs rooted in resignation, can shape our experiences and outcomes in life.  Personal Anecdote: Dr. Debi shares a personal story about constantly being stopped for security checks while traveling, highlighting how a resigned belief led to a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Rewiring Mindset: Discover strategies for challenging and changing limiting beliefs, focusing on a practical approach involving a mindset shift from resignation to empowerment.  Beliefs vs. Facts: Understand the distinction between beliefs and facts, and how questioning our beliefs can lead to growth and change.  Practical Tools for Change: Introduction of simple, practical tools like using a rubber band or hair tie to snap on your wrist as a reminder to question your beliefs and thoughts.  The Role of Resilience in Overcoming Resignation: Insights into how resilience and a proactive approach to dealing with "weeds" (negative thoughts and beliefs) can nurture the "garden" of your mind, leading to a healthier, more fulfilling life.  Transformation Through Belief Examination: An encouragement to examine and question every belief, especially those inherited or unchallenged, to create deliberate and intentional transformation.  Episode Highlights:  Rewiring Your Mindset Experiment: Dr. Debi's experiment with changing a specific belief about being stopped at airport security showcases the power of mindset change and its impact on reality.  Hard Now, Easy Later Philosophy: Discusses the concept of enduring short-term discomfort for long-term ease, especially relevant in the process of healing and personal growth.  Betrayal and Belief Systems: Touches on how beliefs formed from experiences of betrayal can significantly impact your life and the importance of consciously creating a new version of oneself post-betrayal.  Practical Exercise for Changing Beliefs: The use of a physical reminder to snap out of limiting beliefs and the importance of constantly questioning the validity and utility of our beliefs.  Resources Mentioned:  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com A community and resource for people going through betrayal, offering support, insights, and tools for healing and transformation.  We invite you to reflect on your beliefs, especially those that may stem from resignation. Challenge yourself to identify one belief this week that you can question and reframe. Remember, every belief you change is a step closer to the life you desire and deserve. If you're seeking support or more strategies on transforming your life post-betrayal, consider exploring the resources available at The PBT Institute.  Join us next time as we continue to explore the power of mindset, resilience, and transformation on your journey to becoming your best self. 

Welcome to today's episode where we dive into a nuanced and often overlooked form of betrayal: self-betrayal. This conversation talks about the complex relationship between betrayal by others and the acts of betrayal we commit against ourselves. Our exploration will provide insights into the manifestations of self-betrayal, the underlying reasons behind this behavior, and strategies for fostering self-awareness and healing.  Key Points Discussed:  The Nature of Self-Betrayal: We begin by defining self-betrayal as the act of going against your best interest, despite knowing better. Examples range from harmful dietary habits to engaging in relationships or activities that lead to negative emotions and outcomes.  Common Examples of Self-Betrayal:  - Continuously consuming unhealthy foods despite being aware of their negative impact.  -Watching content that induces anxiety and fear.  - Maintaining one-sided relationships where there is more taking than giving.    Understanding the 'Why' Behind Self-Betrayal: It's crucial to recognize that self-betrayal is not a reflection of your character but rather a consequence of lacking the necessary tools, strategies, self-esteem or more. This segment aims to shift your perspective from self-blame to understanding and compassion.    The Role of Awareness in Addressing Self-Betrayal: We emphasize the importance of recognizing how you feel after an act of self-betrayal as your personal way to know if this is what you're doing. This awareness is a critical step towards change.  Personal Stories of Self-Betrayal: Drawing from Dr. Debi's experience and insights from TEDx talks on Post Betrayal Syndrome®  and self-sabotage, we share stories that highlight how self-betrayal can manifest in professional settings, personal development, and daily habits.  The Consequences of Self-Betrayal:  Emotional and physical tolls of self-sabotaging behaviors.  The challenge of facing and moving through discomfort and unfamiliar situations.    Strategies for Overcoming Self-Betrayal:  Identifying and understanding the root causes of self-betrayal.  Making decisions based on what "stinks less" to foster growth and self-improvement.  The significance of advancing to Stage Five for clarity and strength.    Final Thoughts: The episode ends with an invitation to reflect on areas of their life where self-betrayal might be occurring. Through journaling and introspection, we encourage identifying actions and mindsets that align more closely with your highest and best self.  Calls to Action:  Reflect on your own experiences with self-betrayal. How does it manifest in your life? What steps can you take towards healing and self-compassion?  Share your thoughts and breakthroughs with us. Your journey could inspire others to recognize and address their own patterns of self-betrayal.    Next Episode Teaser: Stay tuned for our next episode where we'll explore the transformative power of vulnerability in personal growth and relationships. Discover how opening up about our struggles can lead to deeper connections and a stronger sense of self.  Thank You for Listening! We hope this discussion on self-betrayal has offered valuable insights and practical advice for navigating this challenging aspect of personal development. Join us next time as we continue to explore pathways to a more authentic and fulfilled life.    Links:  TEDx: Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?  TEDx: Stop Sabotaging Yourself   The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com    

In this insightful episode, Vanessa Cardenas shares her personal journey of navigating betrayal, not only in her intimate relationships but also in the workplace. As a Certified PBT Support Group Host and Certified PBT coach, Vanessa brings a wealth of knowledge, compassion, and understanding to the discussion on how betrayal can profoundly impact one's professional life, regardless of whether the betrayal occurred within or outside the work environment.  Key Points Discussed:  Vanessa's Workplace Betrayal: Vanessa recounts her experience of feeling betrayed by her boss at a family-run dot com company, highlighting the emotional impact of unrecognized contributions and the lack of shared profits despite her significant role in the company's success.  The Impact of Personal Betrayal: Vanessa opens up about the devastating effect of her husband's infidelity on her life, marking a clear before and after in her existence. She discusses the emotional turmoil, the sense of loss, and the journey towards healing and self-discovery. Healing Journey: Vanessa emphasizes the importance of seeking help and moving through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough. She shares how embracing her true self and shedding others' expectations were crucial steps in her healing process.  Transformation and Empowerment: Vanessa details her physical transformation, including significant weight loss and changes to her appearance as acts of reclaiming control. She also speaks about the mental and emotional growth she experienced, leading to newfound confidence and self-love.  Workplace Dynamics Post-Betrayal: Vanessa discusses how her betrayals affected her productivity and emotional state at work. She highlights the challenges of maintaining professionalism while dealing with personal turmoil, including brain fog and heightened sensitivity to others' comments.  PBT Corporate Initiative: The episode introduces the PBT Corporate initiative, aimed at supporting individuals in the workplace who are dealing with betrayal. Vanessa's role in this initiative reflects her unique ability to bridge her personal experiences of betrayal with her professional expertise.    Parting Words:  Vanessa encourages listeners to acknowledge their pain, seek support, and embrace the journey of healing and transformation. She highlights the power of self-love, confidence, and the importance of reclaiming one's life after betrayal.  This episode is a must-listen for anyone struggling with the aftermath of betrayal, offering hope, practical advice, and a pathway to healing and empowerment.  Connect with Vanessa Cardenas:  https://www.understandingear.com/    https://www.instagram.com/trusted_advisor_for_betrayal/   https://www.youtube.com/@Vanessa-Cardenas   https://mypbtinstitute.com/certified-support-group-hosts-directory/    PBT Corporate: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/     Becoming a Certified PBT Coach: https://thepbtinstitute.com/get-certified/  Becoming a Certified PBT Support Group Host: https://thepbtinstitute.com/certified-support-group-host/  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com/  

The episode dives into the profound effects of betrayal and shattered trust in the workplace, particularly focusing on the aftermath and symptoms experienced by individuals.  It outlines the experiences shared at the WBENC conference, highlighting the lack of support for dealing with betrayal-related trauma in corporate settings.  The conversation emphasizes the need to address Post Betrayal Syndrome® symptoms to foster healthier work environments and personal growth.    Symptoms of Post-Betrayal Syndrome (PBS) in the Workplace:  Inability to Trust: 84% of individuals struggle with trust issues, impacting team collaboration and self-confidence.  Resistance to Feedback: Distrust leads to skepticism about intentions behind feedback, hindering professional growth.  Increased Conflict and Misunderstandings: Trust deficits contribute to workplace tension and hinder effective communication.  Extreme Sadness: 80% experience emotional distress, affecting motivation and engagement at work.  Withdrawal from Colleagues: Feelings of hurt and distrust lead to isolation and decreased participation in team activities.  Impact on Creativity and Problem Solving: Emotional distress impairs cognitive functions necessary for innovative thinking and solution generation. Weight Changes and Digestive Issues: Physical manifestations of stress, such as weight fluctuations and digestive problems, further exacerbate workplace challenges.  Anger and Increased Stress: Emotional turmoil leads to anger and heightened stress levels, affecting decision-making and interpersonal relationships.  Loss of Internal Power: Individuals struggle with diminished confidence and autonomy, impacting productivity and collaboration.    Importance of Healing:  The conversation underscores the significance of addressing betrayal-related trauma to regain personal power and professional effectiveness.  It highlights the transformative journey through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, offering hope for recovery and growth.  The PBT Institute is presented as a resource for individuals and organizations seeking support in navigating post-betrayal challenges and fostering resilience.    Conclusion:  These stats show a comprehensive overview of the impact of betrayal and shattered trust in the workplace.  It encourages us to recognize the signs of Post Betrayal Syndrome and explore avenues for healing and personal development.    Discover how betrayal and shattered trust affect workplace dynamics in this insightful discussion. Explore the symptoms of post-betrayal syndrome, the impact on collaboration and productivity, and the importance of healing for personal and professional growth. Gain valuable insights and resources to navigate through betrayal-related challenges and foster resilience in the workplace.    Links:  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  Corporate Solutions: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/ 

Betrayal leaves deep wounds, but it also opens the door to profound personal transformation. In this powerful episode, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell recap Dr. Debi Silber's episode, discussing the intentional nature of betrayal, its impact on our lives, and the deliberate steps needed to heal. Listeners will find solace, understanding, and strategies for setting better boundaries and to prevent repeated betrayals.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Addressing concerns about insufficient teacher training and alternative learning paths.The personal impact of betrayal and its distinct nature from other traumas.How betrayal can be a catalyst for personal growth and transformation.Overview of the process and stages involved in recovering from betrayal.The importance of establishing strong boundaries to prevent future betrayals.Episode References/Links:The PBT InstituteStudio Growth AcceleratorOPC Summer CampCambodia February 2025 Early Bird4-Week Pilates ChallengeeLevate WaitlistLittle Readers Big Change  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  She said time heals all wounds but that does not apply to betrayal. And she said healing needs to be deliberate and intentional. Like you actually have to be deliberate and intentional with your healing. Lesley Logan 0:11  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 0:49  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the transformative convo I had with Dr. Debi Silber in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to the interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. Holy freaking moly. We have never had a topic on betrayal. Nope. First time and not only do we will talk about betrayal, but she is the leading doctor on betrayal. She has so much scientific information you guys if youBrad Crowell 0:57  TED talks, education from stage, workshops. She's an institute. Lesley Logan 1:23  If anyone in your life is like act like reacting to being betrayed in their life and other things that they're doing and they keep going well, I had this extra do this thing. Holy fricking moly, send them the episode. It was so informative, so good. And it's like, it's I mean, we'll get we'll get into it in a second. Anyways, today is April 4th, and it's School Librarian Day. Okay. Of course we're gonna highlight this day because we're all about the books on this podcast. So about this day, the day is observed to recognize the professionals who keep school libraries well-stocked in the books in perfect order. School librarians, I'm just gonna say, also librarians, if you're a public school public librarian this is you too, your school librarians spend long hours keeping the library organized, they also, they're also likely to be the first people to help students find the resources they need to learn. Pause. Yes, so many librarians I've heard on the news in the last year are the only safe person to suggest books to a lot of people. Anyways, they also encourage students pursue reading outside of academic text. School librarians are also responsible for creating an environment where students are motivated to learn. Their work is truly an accomplishment. With that said, if you didn't already know this, in 2024 OPC is supporting the nonprofit organization the Wheat Penny press and their program Little Readers Big Change along with Be It podcast, Rebekah Borucki, who runs it with every dollar spent so all you OPC members out there just know that you are part of providing free and low-cost books programming and funding for the creative arts to our most vulnerable communities and their most talented members. Thank you for being an OPC member and thank you for supporting reading. And we had Danny Brassel on who talked about like how he helps kids want to read and it's about giving them books that they actually want to read.Brad Crowell 3:06  That was a fun episode. Lesley Logan 3:07  I know. With Nick Hutchison coming up soon it's gonna be about how The Rise of the Reader. Brad Crowell 3:13  Jake Kelfer. Lesley Logan 3:13  Well, Jake Kelfer is for the writers. Brad Crowell 3:15  Yeah, but, books.Lesley Logan 3:16  And then, Nick is actually you're gonna learn how to retain what you're reading. Danny Brassel helps you get your kids reading and Rebekah Borucki who was recently a guest holy freaking moly, she is making sure that what we're reading is like making change. So. Brad Crowell 3:31  Pretty rad.Lesley Logan 3:32  You guys. Brad Crowell 3:32  Well, anyway, a sincere heartfelt thank you to all the OPC members out there. We love being able to donate to different causes. And we change, each year we pick a new cause and we get to donate throughout the year. And so we're really fired up to be supporting Little Readers Big Change along with you.Lesley Logan 3:54  Along with you. And you know, like support your local library. Brad's cousin is a librarian and she is like, all about like, getting me on Libby getting me to go get my library card and all that stuff. So like, support the libraries, they're really amazing and it's just, you know, look, you don't need to scroll so much. So anyway, okay. Brad Crowell 4:14  Read a book. Lesley Logan 4:15  This afternoon. So if you happen to listen to this in the morning, when it drops, you can still sign up for the Studio Growth Accelerator which is for Pilates teachers and studio owners who are ready to make some changes in their business and who want to learn and also work on your business. So you're going to get information and integrate it. Brad Crowell 4:32  We're going to be running through the proprietary Accel formula. A-C-C-E- L. Short for accelerator, y'all. Basically, we're going to we're going to really dig into how do you bring new clients in, how do you work with those clients to make them champions for your business so that they go out into the world and share your business with their relationships and it's going to be amazing. So if you're looking to jumpstart the growth of your studio, this is a great way to do it. Join me this afternoon there will be a three-day replay and if you missed it that's okay if you listen to this late, just DM us because you know we'll get you on the waitlist for the next time. The next one. Okay? PRfit.biz/accelerator. PRfit.biz/accelerator. Lesley Logan 5:19  And if you listen to last week's episode you understand that spelling accelerator is two Cs, one O. Brad Crowell 5:24  Hence the Accel... Lesley Logan 5:26  Well excel you could spell with an EBrad Crowell 5:28  ...programs. No, no. That's excel. This is accel. A-C-C-E-L-E-R-A-T-O-R. Well.Lesley Logan 5:35  Okay. Summer Camp. Okay, so I was, the time we tell the team when we're designing summer camp I'm like think American hot summer like, get like look up. Brad Crowell 5:46  What is it? What? Hot American Summer (inaudible).Lesley Logan 5:48  I was like, look up look at what Christopher Maloney is wearing. I want Brad to dress like that for the Zoom calls. Like I want people to have hot shorts. I want Elizabeth Banks like I Brad Crowell 5:59  Bradley Cooper was in there. Lesley Logan 6:00  Everybody who was in this show. (inaudible) I want, so here's the thing, the way I see summer camp for OPC is all the best parts of summer camp without the bunks, bunk beds.Brad Crowell 6:13  Without the bugs. Lesley Logan 6:14  Without the bugs, without the travel. Brad Crowell 6:16  Without the mean girls. Lesley Logan 6:18  Without the mean girls or the weird people or you know the shit food. So you can wear whatever you want, you can be off camera if you want, you can actually sign up and watch it later because you'll have lifetime access to the replays. But you do want Brad Crowell 6:32  That's a big event for us, y'all. This is not like two workshops. This is going to be like potentially like all-day events, two days in a row. Lesley Logan 6:39  It could be like, we're looking at potentially up to 14 or 16 events in two days. Brad Crowell 6:45  Crazy. Lesley Logan 6:46  We've been planning this for over a year because y'all loved summer camp so much last year, we had like the best time with summer camp. And so we are actually promoting early because we want as many people to be able to do summer camp with us. I'm like I want camp counselor shirts. I want the whole thing. So OPC.me/workshops. The reason why we want you on the waitlist even though you're like, Lesley, (inaudible) later. Correct. But if you're on the waitlist, you get the second-best prices of the early bird. The people who get the best best prices are those OPC members who are helping Little Readers Big Change. So, you want to be an OPC member to get the best earlybird. Second best is the workshop waitlist. Third best is hearing from the public. And fourth best is full price.Brad Crowell 7:29  Fourth best, fourth best.Lesley Logan 7:31  Okay. OPC.me/workshops. Also, Cambodia. As you mentioned in last week's episode, Brad. Brad thinks it's sold out. It's possible that it's sold out by now because it's April 4th, but we did schedule already and pick our dates for February 2025. Holy fricking moly, it's gonna be so fun. Like I said last week, best sunrises are in the February time and it's just before the weather gets hot. So you want to go to crowsnestretreats.com, crowsnestretreats.com to snag your early bird rate for February 2025.Brad Crowell 8:07  Yeah, join us it's gonna be amazing. I am so excited.Lesley Logan 8:11  I'm so excited. Oh my gosh, our October retreat, the people who are coming on this are freaking so excited. One of our girls is coming for the second year in a row. We've, because we've made some changes and like it's so fun. And we've got some eLevate members coming. We've got some OPC members coming. We've got some people we've never met coming and it's just gonna be a freaking blast. Brad Crowell 8:29  It's going to be amazing. Lesley Logan 8:28  So amazing. So, crowsnestretreats.com if you are wanting to come, if you're like Lesley when are you doing a retreat somewhere else? I don't have the time. I want to go there. And you can join at my house, come to my house. I would love to do a retreat somewhere else but I'm just going to tell you right now, the amount of work that goes into putting the retreat on that is an amazing, unforgettable experience is something you I can never express I could never actually share. And so while I would love to do a retreat somewhere else, I also would love one, of the reasons we did Cambodia retreat is because I think it's really, really important to see places in the world you might never see and a lot of places where people go on retreats just feel like a like America-like. And I really enjoy so immersing myself in a culture that's so uniquely different than my own. And seeing things that like it's just takes you out of your normal routine. You're 12 hours to 15 hours ahead. So like you are just really out of your routine. It's not the same timezone as your family like, I really love to get out and just be in a, in the village like being around other people and how the world is so different there.Brad Crowell 9:15  It's a transformational experience. I mean, I truly believe that when we have the opportunity to experience cultures that are not our own. It changes our perspective in a way that allows us to be more empathetic, more kind to others, more excited for other people, because they're people too, doing life the way they do life and it's different than the way that we do life but it allows this polarization that's happening in our, you know, in American society about others, like, you know, those other people, they're bad or something. You know, it allows you to see another culture in a way that is like, whoa, totally different than how we do things. But they're fucking great people, too.Brad Crowell 9:35  Oh, yeah. I mean, it also helps you vote with others in mind. Just a thought. Okay. So go do that. Come with us. Okay. And don't forget.Brad Crowell 10:36  If you love a good challenge and you're looking for one that's a four-weeker.Lesley Logan 10:40  You want to do my challenges. Come on, guys. The reformer challenge and mat challenge are available anytime. Which, I'm telling you, this is your prompt to sign up now. At OPC.me/challenge. Just pick the challenge you want. They are, it's the first week's 10 minutes, the second week's, 20 minutes. The third week is 30 minutes. And the fourth biggest (inaudible), 40 minutes. You see how that goes. Brad Crowell 11:01  Is that how it works? Lesley Logan 11:02  Yeah. And so, I want you to all do it, I want you to have some fun. I want you to get it out of your head and into your body. I want you to do it imperfectly. I had someone say, Ah, this is too fast. And I said, Great. Do it slower and just skip half the exercises. It's not about being perfect, you don't have to look like me. You don't have to do it like me, I even tell you to replace what you can't do with what you can. Pilates is the thing that helps you realize like how you talk and treat yourself. You are allowed to be imperfect and to be in process. And that's what this challenge is all about. It's super fun to learn how to do habits while doing it. So, OPC.me/challenge.Brad Crowell 11:36  Yeah. And you can pick either the mat or the reformer. How about that? Lesley Logan 11:39  How about that? Brad Crowell 11:40  Alright. So we had an audience question. And it was from Michelle. She said hi, I'm in a teacher training program that doesn't feel like it's giving me enough information and I'd love to learn from more from you about how to teach. Is OPC your only option? Lesley Logan 11:57  Yeah. Brad Crowell 11:57  And I just want to say first off, I'm sorry that you're in a program that isn't meeting your needs. And clearly, as a student, if you're going what the hell I expected more. That sucks. Lesley Logan 12:08  Yeah, so it sucks. I got this from our customer service team. And first of all, this is exactly why I wrote my book Profitable Pilates: Everything But the Exercises. And the unfortunate thing is, I don't think as many people get it before they choose a program. They get it after they choose a program. So I'll work on that. But a lot of programs have a lot to be (inaudible). And it's also just want to say to any teacher trainees listening, it is not totally your fault. In fact, it's probably not even your fault. You might be doing someone else's program. But the other thing is, is like we are an unregulated industry, the Pilates industry is unregulated, meaning that your massage therapist, do you all know, if you're living in the States, your nail technician had to take a state exam, like literally had to take a state exam for you to complain about a $15 pedicure, they had to take a state exam. And in the Pilates industry, there is an organization that has created an exam so you can be truly certified. But there's no, there's no regulation in this country. And that means people can create a training program. And there's something great about that you could just create a training program if you want one, and you need teachers. But when there's regulations, there are things like refund policies, there are ways that you can complain about the company, you can be treated with respect, they can't abuse you, things like that. So a lot of programs do have a lot (inaudible). And here's the other reason. Even if it's the best program in the world, when you're a new teacher, you cannot learn as much as you think. It's so much information. Brad Crowell 13:43  It's overwhelm. Lesley Logan 13:43  It is so much information, which is why everyone ends up doing a second training, which yes means you spend more money. So look, I really do feel free, Michelle, I love this question. You're not the only person to ask me something similar in the exact same week. So here's the deal. OPC is not the only option to learn from me, but OPC is the most affordable option. So I teach at least half the classes on OPC every single month. And we have themes. And if you like seeing how I connect exercises to exercises, take class with me. That's how it works. And guess what, take class with other teachers on OPC. They do the exact same, too and they do it with different body types. And that is so important. So please, please, please and $79 a month is not cheap, but it's not expensive. And if you are a teacher, it's a write-off. You can put it as your education. Brad Crowell 14:30  Education and training, y'all.Lesley Logan 14:32  So all the more reason to not be a sole profit, that's a different story. If you are wanting more you're actually wanting to learn with me. Right? There's a from and there's a with. That would be eLevate, which is our mentorship program. As we were recording this, we just wrapped day one of weekend two. It's another investment. I'm gonna be really honest. It is another investment that's on purpose. I want you to show up for you. And I only want to have 12 people in a group. So in order to dedicate over all the five weekends and tons of calls and all the time on one-on-one calls with you, it is an investment, but it is an option. So you can go to lesleylogan.co/elevate to get on the waitlist, we're probably going to open up applications for 2025 really soon. And we're really excited we have so many people who want 2025, we'll probably open up applications. And then based on who applies and who gets accepted, we will pick the times of the days we already have the weekends picked because we have the retreat picked. But I just want to say to anyone listening to this, Pilates teacher who just feels like their first training program didn't teach them enough. Let's just let it go. Just let it go. Just pretend that they did the best they can with what they had. You did the best you could with what you had. And that and just know that I did three training programs. So there you go. Brad Crowell 15:50  There you go.Lesley Logan 15:53  And it's because you can only take in so much. And then you have to go teach and you realize what doesn't work and you teach again, anyways.Brad Crowell 16:03  Well, Michelle, thanks for asking that. If you have a question for us. Just reach out, you can DM us on the pod on Instagram, you can hit up our Customer Support Chat. You can text us, all the things, however you want to reach out. Just ping us and you know, we might include your question on the pod. Okay, let's talk about Dr. Debi Silber. Debi Silber PhD, founder of the PBT Institute, a Pilates expertise in health and personal developments, to her innovative Post Betrayal Transformation Program. Drawing on her own experiences and extensive research, she has developed groundbreaking strategies for overcoming and fully healing from betrayal. And her groundbreaking strategies that she came up with, they went viral, like it was like a big deal. Like boom, that's what like really allowed her to shift into this role, you know, full-time. Lesley Logan 16:58  I, when I heard about her, I was like, Oh my God. We have to talk about this because I think we talked about other things that are around relationships, family, grief, all these other things, sex, all this stuff. But betrayal, I mean, and so maybe some of those episodes, you should go back and listen to after hearing this because if you have experienced betrayal Brad Crowell 17:19  Puts a different lens on. Lesley Logan 17:20  You may have hated what they said. Brad Crowell 17:24  Sure. Lesley Logan 17:25  Anyways, Okay, my turn. Brad Crowell 17:26  Yeah. Lesley Logan 17:27  One of the things I love is that we actually talked about how betrayal is a different type of trauma than death, disease or natural disaster. And I think it's easy to put betrayal in kind of like those same experiences of trauma. But she says it feels intentional snd we take it personally. And our entire Brad Crowell 17:44  Betrayal feels intentional. Lesley Logan 17:45  Yes, it feels intentional. And sometimes it might not even be, it might be all about them. But probably is, but our entire self gets shattered and requires rebuilding. She said rejection, abandonment, belonging, confidence, worthyness and trust, these are all demolished and have to be rebuilt. So if you have been betrayed, and you just feel like you are left, like, like an open wound and just shattered, you have and it's, it's not like you just rebuild a house or you like you just start dating someone else, or you go through a grieving process and remember them on special days, like it's, can be really difficult. Brad Crowell 17:46  Yeah, well, she talks about her five phases, which, you know, the best thing to do is to go back through, we're going to cover, we're going to cover four of the five phases a little bit later on in the pod. But, you know, she said something really interesting. She said, you don't outgrow betrayal. Like it's and she has the scientific proof to demonstrate that. Lesley Logan 18:56  Meaning if like you were (inaudible).Brad Crowell 18:58  Time doesn't heal all.Lesley Logan 18:59  And you feel like you're betrayed by your parents. You know, just like become an adult and you're good. Lesley Logan 19:04  Right, right. She was specifically talking about grief and time and the way that we talk about that societaly. Lesley Logan 19:11  She especially said time, she said time heals all wounds, but does not, that does not apply to betrayal. And she said healing needs to be deliberate and intentional. Like you actually have to be deliberate and intentional with your healing.Brad Crowell 19:23  Yeah, the you know, and so what's great is that she also has a process, she goes through, like, how does that happen? How do you do that? Right, but I just found that really, really intriguing because she's not just talking about divorce, you know, she could be talking about family, parents, siblings, best friends, you know. Lesley Logan 19:44  It could be a coworker.Brad Crowell 19:45  Yeah. She actually talked about her, your boss, and I was like, wow, that's crazy. I didn't even realize that, you know, I've been definitely betrayed at work in my old job and I was really hurt by that. You know, but I today like, you know, a couple years later, I just didn't even think about it until let's say this conversation, I was like, oh my god, that was me too. You know, so I, you know, there's a lot of context for betrayal in our lives. And she said, the amount of betrayal really depends on how close you are to the person on how close how much you allow them to weigh into your life.Lesley Logan 20:22  I agree. Because like, if you're betrayed by a coworker, that you saw Monday through Friday, a little bit each day, that is going to be hard and shattering. But if you switch jobs or get them out of your life, it's different than like a spouse or a parent because like they're, it's interesting, like I was listening to something recently, where if, like, certain breakups can feel so hard, because it's not that you're grieving the break up of the past, but also the future that you had with them. And if a betrayal is someone where there's a future that you had seen yourself going down with them, you discussed with them. That is also, that's part of the shatter that you're going through, because your future has also changed. What you thought was possible has changed. Brad Crowell 21:13  Yeah. Yeah, that's a that's a really fascinating point as well. You know.Lesley Logan 21:21  Now that I think about it, I feel like maybe there are people in my life who thinks I betrayed them, too. So now, I just felt like a little bit of a dick. It wasn't on purpose. I hope they don't think that but anyway, you know, I'm thinking about the person like what the way I, I don't think I always say like, I don't really think I did a great job breaking up with my ex, because I never broken up with anyone. And like, I'm sure they felt very betrayed in that moment. And I didn't know like, I was just like, no, we're just breaking up because I don't think we love each other that much. And one of the ways that I wanted to make sure that they didn't feel betrayed was like, I went through with the court proceedings we had against a family member of theirs, and I pretended to still be together. But I'm sure that felt like a massive betrayal to them, you know. And so now I think back, like, no wonder they were so shattered. And, you know, when that was all over, so I think it's really interesting. Like, it's even in your kindness, or most thought-out ways of doing things you can accidentally make someone feel betrayed.Lesley Logan 21:22  That's interesting. I definitely hadn't thought of that. I mean, for me, it was the other way around.Lesley Logan 21:35  I mean, you're so perfect, Brad, you've not even betrayed anyone. Brad Crowell 22:30  I sure have. Lesley Logan 22:31  I mean, you did quit your own band.Brad Crowell 22:34  That's betrayal. That totally is, you know, like, we, that's true. And that's a good way, that's a good thing to point out. And like, I wasn't trying to let down who's one of the people in my life, who was one of my best friends, you know, and we still, you know, but also, like, I've had business relationships go bad. I've had, you know, just life, right? Life's life is what we like to say. But still, no matter what the circumstance is, there is a sense of betrayal that can be felt by one party or the other, whether it's as dramatic as a breakup or a divorce. Or as you know, you know, like, hey, this, this program is over, I'm out, and then the person is no longer in your life anymore. Lesley Logan 23:15  Well, it's also interesting, okay, off-topic, but like, I'm just also thinking, like, for some of the things where I am, like thinking back, like maybe they felt very betrayed by me in that same moment, I also felt very betrayed by them. So it's so fascinating how it could be like, an equal betrayed experience.Brad Crowell 23:33  Well, yeah, I think I think that's.Lesley Logan 23:34  Now you have our back and it's (inaudible) explain that. Brad Crowell 23:37  Well, I think it's important to point that out, right? Like, because there's a reason that you chose to leave that relationship. And it was because promises were made and not kept. And so sure, it totally makes sense that you would also feel betrayed in that moment, which then was betrayal enough to cause you to take action, right? We're gonna talk about this. I'll talk about what I really loved about her after I say this with my you know, when my ex and I got a divorce, and then you and I started dating. The story that we've put out there is that I broke up with you two times. I mean, I literally did this so it's it's not a not a fake story. But we told everyone, we shared that I broke up with you twice and. Lesley Logan 24:17  People hate when we tell the story. They get so mad at Brad. Brad Crowell 24:20  They get so mad at me. Lesley Logan 24:21  They get so mad but he doesn't share.Brad Crowell 24:23  Well, I don't really share I wait till a certain point in the story to talk about why I did that for dramatic effect. But the reality of it is when you're listening to last episode and you're talking about the different stages that you know of moving through betrayal you know that Dr. Silber has created, I was almost stuck in one phase and that phase was like it was a keeping me where I was and I was operating out of fear and the fear was effectively I felt so betrayed so hurt by my ex, that I was almost unwilling to ever even put myself in the position again, to be betrayed in that manner. Right? Which is why when things started to get real, I was like, I got to get the fuck out. Like, I can't handle this, this is too much for me. I can't do it. I don't want to be hurt that way again. Right? And so I've never really thought of my divorce as betrayal. That term never came into my mind. But thinking about it now, I definitely felt betrayed.Lesley Logan 25:31  I mean, also, I think so. Because I think that like, how could you not feel betrayed? You thought you guys would be together forever. Like, there's a lot. There's, I mean, I think like, anyone who hears your story would go, Oh, my God, I felt so betrayed, which is why they stop hating you at that point in the story and start loving you.Brad Crowell 25:47  You know, on the introspective side, I wonder if I wonder how she felt betrayed. You know, and I don't actually. Lesley Logan 25:55  Okay, so now we have to talk. Okay, Melissa, we have to have Dr. Silber back, because now I need to know if people who are betrayed if the betrayer also felt betrayed, I need the studies. Brad Crowell 26:06  Yeah, I'm really interested in this.Lesley Logan 26:07  Melissa are you listening? Does she listen? Brad Crowell 26:11  Well, okay, so, you know, moving on here. She also, Dr. Silber, Debi, also said she looks at betrayal as an opportunity to completely catapult yourself to a level that you never thought was even possible. And I, you know, she said something really interesting about this, that I, you know, that sounds like, you know, just, you know, polish it up and make it like, you know, look good, feel good, whatever. But she was actually the story that she gave was, she had, she was always talking to herself, like talking down to herself. And, you know, because she would get lost. So she doesn't, you know, she's not good at following directions, or whatever, and would like end up someplace and be like, fucking lost again, I'm such an idio. I can't believe it. What's wrong with me. Right? And so the story that she's telling herself is like, you're bad at this, like, how come you always mess this up? And she reframed that in a way that allowed her to completely catapult herself to a new level that she never thought was possible by shifting the way that she talked to herself and saying, that is just adorable. You did it again. You know, and think about that, like, you're still probably frustrated with yourself, but you're not berating yourself and beating yourself up.Lesley Logan 27:36  Yeah, I think that's so important. Even if you've never been betrayed, like, Guys, we talk about this all the time at OPC, you have to like how you talk to yourself matters. It really does. Forget matters. It can literally change your day from being amazing and feeling happy to like, being depressed. And feel like a failure all the time. Anyways. Brad Crowell 27:57  Well, I mean, you know, we talk about speaking into existence and be it till you see it. You know, when you reframe the story, you're telling yourself it, it lends itself to creating an entirely new version of you, right, and then, as you have this positive self-talk and you're treating yourself with respect, you start to take a look at all the parts of you that you love, and you start to leave behind the things that no longer serve you, right, and then you start to not tolerate that negative part of yourself anymore, and it just shifts you, it changes you. And so, you know, it really, it's a really interesting, it's a really interesting idea, and I think it's worth pursuing you know? Lesley Logan 28:39  I love it. Brad Crowell 28:40  Alright, so finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Dr. Debi Silber? So she's talked about these stages. There are five predictable stages. And we didn't actually apparently cover the fifth stage. So I don't actually know what that is. But the first four.Lesley Logan 29:01  Another reason to have Dr. Silber back.Brad Crowell 29:03  The first four are the four table legs, right? She talks about the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual side of recovering from betrayal. And she said most people focus on the mental and the physical, or actually, I think she said the mental and the emotional. But she said there's two that people focus on most, they don't really focus on the other two sides. And so you're not creating a stable foundation. So that's stage one. And stage two is shock, trauma and D-Day or discovery day. This is the scariest of all the stages. It's a breakdown of the body, the mind the worldview, where you've gotten this news, you have a stressful response, which leads to you know, basically, chaos right? Chaos in your mind, chaos in life. Step three, then you shift into survival instinct, where you're grabbing anything or anyone to stay safe and alive. You're, you shift into practicality. We were referring to it a couple of weeks ago as fifth gear, you know as shit hits the fan, go up into fifth gear, you gotta power through figure it out, you're, you never leave time for yourself, you're always operating at this, like, where's when is the other shoe gonna drop whatever analogy you want to do. And she said, that's actually the most common place to be stuck in. And that's so that's stage three. Stage four is finding and adjusting to the new normal. Right? So now that like, life has shifted, after the chaos and like really the go, go, go of stage three, you know, can you downshift can you get back into stage into a place that isn't quite as high-strung, intense, anxiety, you know, anxiety-driven, all those kinds of things. She said, most people get stuck in stage three. So that said, going back to our Be It Actions here, she said if you are stuck in stage three, you should write these four questions down. Number one. Am I numbing or avoiding distractions? You need to call yourself on it like call yourself on the walk to the refrigerator when you're opening the door, even though you're not hungry. Call yourself on the TV, you know, because you're desperately trying to drown out other sound the sound of your own thoughts. You know, what are you doing to distract yourself? Is it video games? Is it drinking? Is it? You know, running? Is it? I don't know what it is, you know. There's this lots of different opportunities. You know, the second question, what am I trying not to see? What am I trying not to see? Again, call yourself on it, such as that health issue that needs my attention. The relationship issue that I'm avoiding. The job that I absolutely hate, you know, there's avoidance, right is probably a pretty good indicator. And you know, it's hard, it's hard to address these things you're avoiding. You know, but it's the thing you're trying not to see, right? So number three, what is life going to look like in five or 10 years? If I continue to do the actions that I'm currently doing today?Lesley Logan 32:09  That's a hard oh my god, oh.Brad Crowell 32:12  Yeah. You know, like, I think I remember, I remember, when I was going through my divorce, I decided to just start drinking. And, you know, I was drinking a lot. And I was feeling like garbage the next day when I would go into work. And after a few months, it was bad enough that I was like, Okay, I pretty much hate the way I feel i can't function. And if I keep down this road, I didn't think five or 10 years later, I literally thought like, in two more months, I'm gonna be toast like I can't do this anymore. And that, that was like a really interesting, like introspective moment that where I was interested in making a change, you know? So I think this question is helpful to be reflective on yourself, what is life gonna look like in five to 10 years? And then number four, is what can life look like, in five or 10 years, if I make a change today? So that's a really encouraging one, that's a really exciting one, it helps you see the future, see the vision of what could be for you if you're going to make a change in your life today. So, you know, when you're stuck in stage three, you know, which is again, survival mode, basically. You know, these are four questions that you can help, you know, ask yourself to help you shift through it.Lesley Logan 33:40  Yeah, I had a Be It Action Item about repeat betrayal, repeat betrayal. So this is if you like, find like you keep getting betrayed. She said you are lovable, worthy, and deserving. But she also said, for the Be It Action, you need better boundaries in place. And we talk about this a lot with the people that we coach, which is like you train people how to treat you, which are boundaries. And I just want to say, just because we say that doesn't mean people won't betray you. But I do think you will feel it differently if you had better boundaries in place. Because you will probably see it before. Like, there's just you might be able to like you won't feel like it's happening to you. So I don't know, I could be wrong, Debi, you can tell me. But the reality is.Brad Crowell 34:31  You did talk about this because you asked her like, hey, you know, if I get betrayed again, do I have to go back to stage three? Lesley Logan 34:39  Yeah, yeah. So she said you need better boundaries in place and she's like, unless there's a benefit in learning the hard way. And she, she said as a targeted step, you can identify areas lacking boundaries or reflect on aspects of your life where boundaries are weak or nonexistent and set boundaries in place. And here's the deal guys. Guess what? When you put boundaries in place where there wasn't one, people might feel betrayed by that. You need to understand. Brad Crowell 35:08  It's possible. Lesley Logan 35:09  It's true like for my teachers who are listening, if you never charge for late cancels and you start charging for late cancels, people gonna be pissed. Because you didn't do it before. You have to own that you weren't doing that before. And you have to say, I understand. You don't have to apologize. I understand this change sucks. But this is business, I got to do it. If you have friends, if you have friends or family members who walk all over you, you know, and you start to like, stand up for yourself. They're gonna feel upset about that. They might even feel betrayed that you've changed. Yeah, how dare you? How dare you. Iliza Shlesinger will say on her podcast, you guys, I love her podcast if you know Iliza, I want her on the pod, like I didn't ask her because she just had a baby. But like, yes, I do. Because I mean, what a be it till you see it woman, but she is saying, she always says we have to be comfortable making people as uncomfortable as they have made us.Brad Crowell 36:01  Right. Lesley Logan 36:02  And so. Brad Crowell 36:04  That's fucking hard to do.Lesley Logan 36:08  She says that too. She's like, I know I tell you to do it doesn't mean I do it. But it's so here's the thing. Like, if you are feeling like people are overstepping boundaries that you haven't enforced, they're making you uncomfortable. And so you're going to enforce them which will make them feel uncomfortable. But you they've been making you feel uncomfortable, you have to be comfortable making them feel as uncomfortable as they make you. And another person I'm gonna quote is Lori Harder, which is like, we can't take away other people's rock bottom. So we cannot take away the lessons people need to learn. And sometimes it sucks to be the lesson someone has to learn. But that you are allowed to have boundaries that allow you to do this life better because I always say this, this is me quoting me. You are the only person who can do what you do the way that you do it. And if you burn out, if you are lost, if you feel stuck, the world loses your amazingness. And to have people like to have to be as amazing as I am. There are boundaries in place, y'all. There are and it's not always perfect. It's not always easy, and sometimes it offends people in ways that I didn't intend. Sometimes I have to go oh, shit, I didn't fucking think that would happen. Thank you for letting me know. Here's how it was intended. Here is how, like let's talk about it. Brad Crowell 37:30  I'm gonna, I'm gonna quote me. Fuck yeah.Lesley Logan 37:33  Yeah. So anyways, I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 37:36  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 37:37  Clearly we're gonna have Dr. Debi Silber back. Thanks, team for already asking her. Thank you for joining us today. How are you going to use these tips in your life we want to know. We want to know. Share this with a friend who needs it. Share this with a friend who's constantly feeling betrayed that you just want to give a little shake, shake to and little tough love to. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 37:58  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 38:00  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Lesley Logan 38:28  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 38:43  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 38:48  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 38:52  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 38:59  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 39:03  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Have you ever felt like a betrayal left a lasting scar on your soul? This week's Life of Love episode features Debi  Silber, the beacon of hope for anyone who's faced the sting of deceit. She's not just the founder of National Forgiveness Day and the 'From Betrayal to Breakthrough' podcast host; she's a living testament to the power of overcoming the darkest of times. Join us as she takes us through her journey of personal pain and how it fueled her mission to help others heal, transforming their deepest wounds into sources of strength.Betrayal can sneak up and shatter our world, but healing doesn't have to be a solitary struggle. Through my conversation with Debi, we unveil the unrecognized Post-Betrayal Syndrome, a condition affecting countless individuals, as evidenced by her research on over 95,000 people. With Debi guiding us through the five stages of healing, we shed light on the journey from the initial shock to a place of newfound wisdom and peace. It's a roadmap for anyone searching for the light at the end of the tunnel, proving that the path to recovery, while complex, is lined with predictable milestones.Our heart-to-heart doesn't stop at identifying the problem; it's about constructing a brighter future post-betrayal. We contemplate the art of mending and redefining relationships, starting with the one we have with ourselves. The poignant stories shared, including my own tale of re-marriage, serve as powerful examples of how boundaries, self-reflection, and a dose of transpersonal psychology can lead us from victimhood to a life brimming with vibrancy and true happiness. So, tune in, and let's embark on this transformative journey together, with Debi's wisdom and the support of the PBT Institute lighting the way. https://thepbtinstitute.com/Support the showLink to Support this Channel: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2153284/supporters/newJulie's Book: https://amzn.to/3K2ZS05Julie's Website for more information, comments or requests: https://lifeofloveandjoy.comPromo Code for Free Audio Book on Audible: https://amzn.to/45YUMdHMy Book: Life of Love a Joyful Guide to Self and Sensuality

In this insightful episode, Debi Silber, PhD and founder of the PBT Institute, shares her expertise on overcoming the profound effects of betrayal. Drawing from personal experiences and her groundbreaking research, Silber unveils the stages of Post Betrayal Transformation, offering hope and actionable strategies for healing. Discover the connections between betrayal, health, and personal growth, and learn how to reconstruct a stronger, more resilient self after trust is shattered.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The psychological differences between betrayal and other traumas.Key discoveries from Dr. Debi Silber's studies on betrayal.The PBT Institute's approach to facilitating stages of overcoming betrayal.Strategies for strengthening personal boundaries to prevent future betrayals.The importance of addressing betrayal at its root for true healing.Episode References/Links:The PBT InstituteDebi Silber TikTok  Debi Silber Facebook Debi Silber X.comDebi Silber LinkedinDebi Silber InstagramDebi Silber YouTubeGuest Bio:Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert, the author of Trust Again, and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of: The Unshakable Woman AND From Hardened to Healed. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she's an award-winning speaker and coach dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinarhttps://  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Debi Silber 0:00  We actually discovered that there's this collection of symptoms, physical, mental and emotional, so common to betrayal, it's now known as post betrayal syndrome. And it what's so interesting is we've had I don't know easily 95,000 plus people take our post betrayal syndrome quiz on our site, to see to what extent they're struggling. We've all been taught time heals all wounds. I have the proof that when it comes to betrayal, that's not true.Lesley Logan 0:27  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 1:09  Okay, I got some hot topic and this is gonna feel a little juicy but maybe not at all, actually. But, when I discovered today's guest and what they talk about, I was like, oh, yeah, we have not talked about this not in a high-level way. We've definitely had guests come on, who have shared how they're betrayed in their life, and then how they've made it to where they are today just inspire you to be it till you see it. But we've actually never had a like expert on the topic of betrayal. And I really enjoyed it. I feel like I just went to a whole study class on betrayal. I feel like I'm really aware of it. And I already have three people I want to share this episode. It's not even ready yet. I just I'm like literally finished recording it. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I have to send this to this person, I have to send this to this person. And so my hope is, is that today's episode, betrayal not only educates you. And maybe what you're going through what's keeping you from being until you see it is an old betrayal. And that can really suck to admit to, you know, like to, to think that like 20 years ago, something happened to you and you haven't yet healed from that. And I just to make sure you know that that's okay. You're not the only one. You're not the first person. You're not the last person. But hopefully with today's guest, Dr. Debi Silber, we can start to heal. And we can all go from a place of being betrayed and wanting to take over our lives to actually making it make our lives right where they can be. And so this episode goes through a lot of statistics, a lot of information as symptoms you might be feeling in your life that could all be from a betrayal in your life and also the ways you can get out of it. So I'm really excited for this episode. I think it's gonna be really awesome. And again, I do think it's one of those ones you're gonna share with your friends right now because I'm about to send this information to mine. So have an amazing day and I cannot wait to hear your takeaways. And here's Dr. Debi Silber. Lesley Logan 3:09  All right, Be It babe. I'm really excited for today's topic. Actually, I don't think we've even discussed this topic on the podcast and it is 100% aligned, aligned with us being until we see it. So we have Dr. Debi Silber, here. She is an amazing person who has truly forged her own path and is helping people on the topic of betrayal. So Dr. Debi Silber, will you please introduce yourself and tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?Debi Silber 3:33  Sure, looking forward to this conversation. So I am the founder and CEO of the PBT Post Betrayal Transformation Institute, I mean, clearly you don't study something like betrayal unless you have to. So I'm in business over 30 years - health, mindset, personal development, and then I had a really painful betrayal from my family thought I did everything I needed to do to heal from that. And then it happened again, a few years later, this time it was my husband, that was the deal breaker got him out of the house, looked at the two experiences thinking well, what's similar to these two, of course, me, but what else? And I realized, you know, boundaries, were always getting crossed, never took my lead seriously. And I am one of those people that believes if nothing changes, nothing changes. So here it was four kids, six dogs, a thriving business and I said, you know, a book wasn't gonna get me out of this jam, I needed a whole Ph.D. in it. So I did I enrolled in a Ph.D. program in transpersonal psychology, the psychology of transformation and human potential. Because I was changing so much I didn't quite understand it. He was too, wasn't ready to look at that. And then it was time to do a study. So I studied betrayal. What holds us back what helps us heal and what happens to us physically, mentally and emotionally when the people closest to us lie, cheat and deceive? That study led to three groundbreaking discoveries which changed my health, my family, my work, my life.Lesley Logan 4:51  Okay, I mean, crazy amazing. No, not that I would ever wish betrayal on anybody but like, thank goodness, we're able to take your betrayal and make it what it is because I, if you start to think about the different things that could happen to you that can really prevent you from living the life you want to live and betrayal is this one thing where you can see people in your life or maybe someone listening right now, like that is the thing that's keeping them from showing up in the world. Because the last time they did it, they got betrayed or whatever. So I just think that like, this is an amazing topic, can we just like, go down to the 101 of what betrayal is just in case people are like, I've never been betrayed before, my life is fine.Debi Silber 5:33  Sure. Yeah and then maybe it is. Well, I define it as the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule, and every relationship has them. So the way it works is the more we trust, and the more we depend on that person, the deeper the betrayal. So for example, a child who is totally dependent on their parent, and the parent does something awful. That's going to have a different impact than let's say, your best friend sharing your secret, you're co-worker taking credit for your idea. Still a betrayal, different level of cleanup. Lesley Logan 6:00  Yeah, yeah. So you know. Yeah, I mean, that's a really interesting way of putting it like the stronger the bond, the deeper the betrayal. Okay, so then you start to go through and try to figure out what works to heal from betrayal. Obviously, there's some things that people can do that are better than others, like, what is the process of like? Is it first just recognizing that you've been betrayed? Is it going within? Is it you screaming and yelling at the other person?Debi Silber 6:27  Yes, yes, yes. You know, it's all of those depending on where you're at, the first thing is, you know, you have to know where you know what betrayal does, and that's where that's where the discoveries really came in. So I'm happy to share what they are, because that'll give such context to what we're talking about. So at first I was studying and like, I had a feeling betrayal was a different type of trauma, then, you know, death of a loved one disease, natural disaster, like I had been through death of a loved one. And I've been through disease, and I was like, You know what? Betrayal feels different. I didn't want to assume that it was the same for everyone in my study, so I asked them, if you've been through other types of trauma, traumas, does betrayal feel different for you unanimously? This one, oh, my gosh, it's so different. And here's why. Because it feels so intentional. We take it so personally. So the entire self gets shattered and has to be rebuilt. rejection, abandonment, belonging, confidence, worthiness, trust, like they're all demolished and have to be rebuilt. Like for example, if you lose someone you love, you grieve, you're sad, you mourn the loss, life will never be the same. But you don't question the relationship. You don't question the trust, you don't question your sanity, betrayal, has you questioning all of it. So that type of healing needed its own name, which is now called post betrayal transformation, that complete and total rebuild of your life and yourself after an experience with betrayal. So that betrayal is a different type of trauma, that was the first discovery. The second one was, we actually discovered that there's this collection of symptoms, physical, mental, and emotional, so common to betrayal, it's now known as post betrayal syndrome. And it what's so interesting is we've had, I don't know, easily 95,000 plus people take our post betrayal syndrome quiz on our site to see to what extent they're struggling. We've all been taught time heals all wounds. I have the proof that when it comes to betrayal, that's not true. There's a question on the quiz that says is there anything else you'd like to share? And people write things like, you know, my betrayal happened 35 years ago, I'm unwilling to trust. My betrayal happened, you know, 10 years ago feels like it happened yesterday. My betrayal happened 15 years years ago, I feel gutted. So we know you cannot count on time. Or you can't even count on a new relationship to heal betrayal. Healing needs to be deliberate and intentional. And, you know, I'm happy to share some of those stats from the quiz if that would serve you.Debi Silber 6:33  Yeah, I am like, fascinated. Because you, we've all seen it, like we've all had that family member who like something happened to them. And they were never, they were never the same again. And it can be so easy, like, oh my gosh, like they could just have like, gotten over it. Like they should just get over it. And part of me is like maybe like, for some reason, my brain is going like betrayal. At some point, you might even think that you betrayed yourself. Like, it's almost like, it's like you could reverse the betrayal that you did it to you. Because I trusted them. Oh, I I didn't listen to that red flag that I've had, like, you start to like, take it on as you did it to you.Debi Silber 9:35  And everything you're saying about the stuckness, I'm going to talk about that in the third discovery. But yeah, I mean, these symptoms are so classic for post betrayal syndrome, and here's the thing, we associate it because let's say the betrayal happened years ago, you know, we're like, well, clearly it's not from that. Oh, but yes, it is. And but we think because it was so long ago, it's got to be from aging. It's got to just be from daily stress. No, it's not. It's from an unhealed betrayal. So. Lesley Logan 10:01  Let's go to the next one. I love this. Yeah. Debi Silber 10:03  Yeah. So do you want me to read the stats? Lesley Logan 10:06  Yeah, let's read it. Debi Silber 10:07  So, out of 95,000 plus people, men, women just about every country's represented, 78% constantly revisit their experience, 81% feel a loss of personal power, 80% are hypervigilant, I mean that's exhausting, 94% deal with painful triggers. These are the most common physical symptoms: 71% have low energy, 68% have sleep issues, 63% have extreme fatigue, your adrenals have tanked, 47% of weight changes. So in the beginning, maybe you can hold food down, later on you're an emotional eater, you're using food for comfort, 45% have a digestive issue and that could be anything Crohn's, IBS, diverticulitis, constipation, diarrhea, bloating, anything. The most common mental symptoms: 78% are overwhelmed, 70% are walking around in a state of disbelief, 68% can't focus, 64% are in shock, 62% can't concentrate. So imagine you can't concentrate, you have a gut issue, you're exhausted. You still have to feed your kids. You still have to work.Lesley Logan 11:16  Oh, and all this is compounding. So like, and what's crazy to me is like, it's the majority, of all this is like a majority. So it's not like, some people have betrayal experiences and some people experience, it's like, well, they're all pretty much experiencing these things. And it's just, that is, all of that is exhausting. And you got to show up and then you have these expectations on yourself, and you can't meet them. So that's another spiral.Debi Silber 11:40  Oh, yeah, you're so right. And that's not even the emotional issues. So emotionally, 88% experienced extreme sadness, 83% are very angry and you just bounce back and forth between those two emotions all day long it's debilitating, 82% feel hurt, 80% have anxiety, 79% are stressed. Just a few more. Here's why I wrote the book Trust Again, 84% have an inability to trust, 67% I hope that landed, that's huge, 67% prevent themselves from forming deep relationships because they're afraid of being hurt again, 82% find it hard to move forward, 90% want to move forward but they don't know how.Lesley Logan 12:22  Yeah, like, it's like this. There's, it's not like they don't want their life back. But they don't know the next steps. Because moving on, everything we've ever been told, just get over it, you'll meet someone else or like, it's that hurt people hurt people. So they were just hurting. Like, it's none of that stuff is really helpful for you to build trust again. And also. And the thing about trust, which I'm sure you talked about in your book, and we can go into that is like you like to build trust, you have to trust like you actually have to be vulnerable in the beginning of a relationship. So that trust is built, but people want trust to be there before they're vulnerable once they've gone through something like that. And so, is that kind of why you, is that what you talk about in the book Trust Again, is that like, one of the things?Debi Silber 13:07  It is what, it definitely is one of the things and just to wrap up the post betrayal syndrome stats, think about it, you didn't hear me say one thing that said, you know, 20% 30%, these numbers are super high. They're also not necessarily from a recent betrayal. So this could be from that parent who did something awful when you were a kid, this could be from the girlfriend or boyfriend who broke your heart in high school. So think about this, that person may not know care, remember, they may not even be alive. And here we are decades later with these symptoms, because we haven't healed it from way back then. That's the trick. That's the crime. The good news is you can heal from all of it, which was the third discovery.Lesley Logan 13:47  Yeah. So okay. I do want to know how we can heal from it.Debi Silber 13:50  Yeah, and then and then I'll circle back to if you want, how to know, you know, when you said about, you know, being willing to trust and unwilling and, and putting the big wall up and all those things maybe I can (inaudible). So the third discovery, this, to me was the most exciting. And what was discovered was while we can stay stuck for years, decades, a lifetime and so many people do, if we're going to fully heal, and by fully heal, I mean, symptoms of post betrayal syndrome that I just shared to that completely rebuilt place of you're whole, healed, complete of post betrayal transformation. To get from one to the next, we're going to move through five proven predictable stages. And what's even more exciting about that is we know what happens physically, mentally and emotionally. At every one of those stages. And we know what it takes to move from one stage to the next. Healing is entirely predictable. Happy to go through the stages if you want. Lesley Logan 14:50  Yeah, I do. I love this. I had no idea it could be so predictable. So I want to hear. Debi Silber 14:55  And that's the thing. I mean, there's a roadmap now for it. And so it's all mapped out in Trust Again, it's all we do within the PBT Institute. It's where all of our coaches are certified in, moving people through the five stages, but I'll share them briefly here. So, stage one, if, you can imagine four legs of a table, the four legs being physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. What I saw with everybody, me too, was a heavy lean on the physical and the mental thinking and doing and kind of neglecting or ignoring the emotional and the spiritual, feeling and being. Well, if there's a table with only two legs, it's easy for that table to topple over. That's us. Stage two, shock, trauma, D Day, discovery day, the scariest of all of the stages. And this is the breakdown of the body, the mind and the worldview. Right here, you got the news, you've ignited the stress response, you are now headed for every single stress-related symptom, illness, condition disease. Your mind is in a complete state of chaos and overwhelm. You cannot wrap your mind around what you just learned. This makes no sense. And your worldview has just been shattered. Your worldview is your mental model, the rules that govern us that prevent chaos, don't go there, trust this person, this is how life works. And in one earth-shattering moment or series of moments. Every rule you've known and you've held to be real and true, is no longer the bottom has truly bottomed out from you. And the new bottom hasn't been formed yet. I remember a study participant saying you know what it feels like. It felt like, it felt like every negative emotion you can imagine, getting punched in the stomach and losing a child and a crowd all at the same time. It's awful. Think about it. Lesley Logan 16:30  Like you're searching, you're searching and searching, you're adrenaline's going to find something. And you just been like crippled at the same time. So you can't even do it. Yeah, that is so (inaudible).Debi Silber 16:51  Yeah, it's visceral. So but think about it. If the bottom were to bottom out on you, what would you do, you'd grab hold of anything or anyone you could to stay safe and stay alive. And that stage three, survival instincts emerge. It's the most practical out of all of the stages. If you can help me get out of my way, how do I survive this experience? Where do I go? Who can I trust? How do I feed my kids? Here's the trap, though. Stage three, by far hands down is the most common place we get stuck. You know, so many people in this stage and I will explain it you will see. This is the place we get stuck and here's why. Once we've figured out how to survive our experience, because it feels so much better than the shock and trauma of where we just came from, we think it's good. And be like, okay, I got this. And because we don't know there's anywhere else to go. We park here, we plant roots here we're not supposed to. But we don't know that. And four things have, a transformation doesn't even begin (inaudible) work. But we don't know anything about that. So we plant roots here. And these four things happen. The first thing is, we start getting all these small self-benefits from being here. We get our story. We like our story. We get to be right, we like being right, you know, we get a target for anger, we get someone to blame. We don't have to do the hard work of learning to trust again. Can I trust you? Should I trust you? Forget it, I'm not trusting anybody. So we plant deeper roots. Again, we're not supposed to but we don't know. And now because you know that you know we're here longer than we should be. We start thinking things like well, you know, maybe you're not that great. Maybe you deserved it. Maybe this maybe that. So we plant deeper roots. And now because these are the thoughts we're thinking, well this is the energy we're putting out. Like energy attracts like energy. So now we start calling situations, circumstances and relationships towards us to confirm yep, this is exactly where you belong. Lesley Logan 18:49  Yeah, it's like cognitive bias whatever yeah, right it's a whole like you're just I think this, I see this, it's proved me correct.Debi Silber 18:58  And your mind will find you as much confirming evidence as you want to see and then you also the misery loves company crowd comes along now to. Here's also where you find that support group that like in an awful club where it's like this happened to me oh, you think that's bad? This happened to me? And now you found your people. Yeah, so your (inaudible) to grow because you don't want to outgrow your people. The longer you're here the harder it gets to leave because this becomes your identity. It gets worse but I'll get you out. Because you feel so bad, but you don't know there's anywhere else to go you resign yourself right here you're like this stinks but like I have to get through my day. You have to, I have to go to work, I have to be with my kids. So right here is where you start using food, drugs, alcohol, work, TV, keeping busy whatever it is to numb avoid and distract yourself. So think about it. You do it for a day, a week, month now to happen a year, 10 years, 20 years. I can seriously see someone 20 years later and say you know that emotional eating you're doing or that drinking you're doing, do you think that has anything to do with your betrayal? And they would look at me like I'm crazy. (Inaudible) 20 years ago, all they did was put themselves in stage three, and stay there. Does that make sense? Lesley Logan 20:10  Yeah. Oh, it totally does. And I think like, it's so interesting because the the world would have you think, oh, well, if you're emotionally eating, then you should just eat fewer calories and like, go deal with your emotions. But it's like, it's not even. It's not a, it's not a conscious awareness that those two go together. And also, you just try to mask that, like, oh, I'll just eat less. It sets you up for failure, you're going to screw up, because that's just human just gonna happen. And so then you're even more, you're stuck, because you're like, I'm not even.Debi Silber 20:43  Right. And that's why it's so common to stay there. And you know, it's interesting, because Trust Again maps out the five stages, but that's why I wrote (inaudible) hard to heal them, like you've been through the worst of it already. What in the world are you doing staying stuck in stage three, from harmed to healed is just for stage three, because that's where most people live at stake for life. And you and if you remind me, I'll get back to I want to get people out of stage three. But if you're me, like how do you know if you're in stage three? I'll tell you. Anyway, if you are willing, willingness is a huge word right here. If you are willing to let go of the small self-benefits, grieve, mourn the loss, bunch of things you need to do, you move to stage four. Stage four is finding and adjusting to a new normal. So here's where you acknowledge, I can't undo what happened. But I control what I do with it. Just in that decision, you're turning down the stress response, you're not healing just yet. But at least you just stop the massive damage you've been creating in stages two and stage three. Stage four feels like if you've ever moved, if you've ever moved to a new house, office, condo, apartment, whatever, all your stuff's not there. It's not cozy yet. But you're like, okay, okay, we've got this, stage four feels like that. But think about it, if you were to move, you don't bring everything you know, you don't take those things that don't represent who you want to be when you're in your new space. And what I found was, there's this one spot in moving from stage three to stage four. If your friends weren't there for you, you don't take them with you. You've outgrown them. And it's so common, people say to me all the time, I've had these friends 10, 20 years is it me? Yes, it is. You're undergoing a transformation and if they don't rise, you don't bring them, very common. Lesley Logan 22:30  That and that's probably the hardest part. I'm sure in your work, you see people who have a hard time letting go of those friends. I've had them for so much of my life. And it's like, if but if it's true, if they're not rising up with you, if they're not, if they're not willing to stop telling the story as well, if they're not willing to stop being stuck. It's not that you're being a dick, not taking them with you. It's like actually part of you becoming the person here. So you've always wanted to be. If you loved being in stage three you would stay there, but you're not loving it.Debi Silber 23:02  That's it. And here's the thing, do you know how often I'll see somebody sabotaging their growth, because they don't want to outgrow their betrayer or they don't want to outgrow the friends they need in that stuck place. So they'll find themselves constantly sabotaging their success, so that they stay with the familiar known, the only benefit is that it's familiar. That's the only thing. But because it's familiar, they will you know, it's not worth healing and rebuilding themselves because of the known familiar but what's waiting for you in Stage Four and Stage Five is mind-blowing. So let me get to stage five, and then I'll tell you what we see. So stage five, once you've settled into this new mental space, you've made it cozy, you've made it home, you move into the fifth most beautiful stage and this is healing, rebirth and a new worldview. The body starts to heal. Self-love, self-care, eating well exercise, you just couldn't do that before you you know, you don't have the bandwidth. Your mind is healing, you're making new rules, you're making new boundaries, you know, based on the road you just traveled and you have a new worldview based on everything, you see so clearly and so differently now. And the four legs of the table in the beginning it was all about the physical and the mental by this point, were solidly grounded. Because we're focused on the emotional and the spiritual too. Those are the five. Lesley Logan 24:24  Yeah, this is really cool. So because I, I feel like you know, the whole reason this podcast exists is that people think that they have to fake it till they make it and like I'm not about that because like I think that like acting as if you're the person that you want to be allows you to make decisions like that person would. And so when I was, what I was attracted to this topic so much is that like, I see so many people with all the tools they have all of them they actually have the goals, they have the things and they keep self-sabotaging or staying stuck or playing small or replaying a story. Well, last time I tried to do something this happened to me, and so, I love that you found these five, and also all these things that like, I think so many people are walking around from betrayal symptoms, not just like, you know, like depression is a symptom of betrayal. It's not that you know, so I feel like we're going around trying to heal symptoms, and not actually the cause of the problem. Is that what your studies all found? Debi Silber 25:21  It is 100%. Because think about it, like, for example, 45% of everybody betrayed has a gun issue, you could go to the best good doctor on the planet, I'm friends with many of them, right? But here's the thing, that the amazing protocols they recommend will only take you so far, if there's an unhealed betrayal at the root of it. Unless and until you heal that, that's the issue. Or let's say, you know, you've in the beginning you you couldn't hold food down, and later on, you become an emotional eater, then you try to lose weight. Well, and you try all these weight loss things, that's not the issue or you can't sleep. So you start taking something for sleep, or your adrenals have tanked and you're taking something like some sort of adrenal support, they're all wonderful, right? But at the root of it is that unhealed betrayal. But when you move out of stage three into stage four, and five, what we see constantly within the PBT Institute, that's where you are ready for a new level of relationship with someone entirely new or with a completely revamped person of the person who hurt you. That's when we see new levels of health. That's where if I tell you how many businesses get birthed in stages four and five, the PBT Institute, that was a stage five thing, you don't have access to all of that newness when you're stuck in your trauma. You get your story, but that's really just about all you're getting. Lesley Logan 26:43  Yeah. Yeah. So hurt me wonders. Like, do you think there's some people who have particularly like, locked the betrayal so much that they're, they're almost in denial that their problems are from betrayal like it? Some of these things might have happened when they were children? Some of these things happen when they're adults. How do you go about like understanding what betrayal you need to heal from if you're not aware? Like, I mean, people might think like Lesley, you're crazy. No, like, if my partner had cheated on me, that's a very obvious betrayal. But there might be some betrayals that like happened to you that were kind of can you're conditioned to so you don't even call it that you think it was your fault. So I guess I'm just wondering if, if there's like some ways to figure out if betrayal is what you're going through?Debi Silber 27:27  100%. So take a look at your health, your work, your relationships will see it in these three areas all the time. For example, in your relationships, I'll see an unhealed betrayal in one of two ways. The first is a repeat betrayal. The face has changed, but it's the same thing. You keep going from boss to boss to boss, friend to friend to friend, partner to partner and partner, like what the heck is it me? Yes, it is, not in that it's your fault. In that it's your opportunity, there is a gigantic lesson waiting to be learned. You are lovable, worthy and deserving. You need better boundaries in place, whatever that lesson is, until and unless you get that you're gonna have opportunities in the form of people to teach you. Like, for example, in my case, I had a painful betrayal from my family. And then I was like, all right, let me just heal from this. I think I'm over it, I'm good. And then my husband, but look at what I did here for me, I never did anything for myself, I wasn't even on my own like to-do list, you know, for me to enroll in a Ph. D. program. I didn't know who was gonna pay for it. I didn't know how I was going to manage the time. If I tell you how many people said I was full-blown crazy, right? But in making such a radical decision for me, it completely changed my life. And just to close the loop on my story, so everybody knows. Healing and rebuilding is always a choice whether you rebuild yourself and move on and that's what I did with my family wasn't an option to rebuild with them. Or if the situation lends itself if you're willing, if you want to you rebuild something from the ground up new as two entirely different people. That's what I do with my husband. So not long ago as two totally different people, we married each other again. Debi Silber 29:10  Oh my God. Debi Silber 29:12  New house, new dress, and our four kids is our bridal party. Betrayal will show you who someone truly is. It also has the opportunity to wake them up to who they temporarily became not that you need to do anything with that. But yeah, what most people do though is they're so afraid of the complete and utter death and destruction of the old as the only way you birth the new.Lesley Logan 29:37  This is, I'm happy to hear that because it sounds like you both had to go through some things for that to actually come back and like refine each other in massive ways. And I'm sure it wasn't easy. I I like that you break down to like, health, you know, that like relationships and I think the third one was work or was that family? Debi Silber 29:58  Yeah, I'd love to show and explain how it shows up in different areas? So in relationships, it's going to show up in one of those two ways, in repeat betrayal, that is an unhealed betrayal lesson has not been learned. The second way is the big wall goes up, like nope, been there done that no one's getting near me again. And we think that's coming from a place of strength. And it's not, it's coming from fear. Our heart was so hurt that we are unwilling to risk that level of vulnerability, because we just can't fathom the thought of that level of pain again. So we would rather keep everyone at bay, than take the risk of that pain. That's an ideal betrayal. We see it in health, people go to the most well-meaning, very good doctors, coaches, healers, therapists to manage a stress-related symptom illness, condition, disease, at the root of it, like we said before, is that unhealed betrayal. And we see it at work too, where let's say you deserve that raise or promotion. But you don't have the confidence to ask because your confidence was shattered in the betrayal. Or you want to be a team player. You want to be a collaborative partner, joint venture partner, but the person you trusted, the most proved untrustworthy. How do you trust that boss, that co-worker that partner, you see? It's just everywhere, everywhere? Lesley Logan 31:18  Yeah, I was just listening to a podcast the other day, and this girl had wrote in a question like, I want to ask for a raise. My raise last time was like 3%. And I really, I feel like I should be making 10 or 15,000 more than I'm making, I feel that people are, but I like had some mistakes in my past jobs. And all I was thinking is like, not at this job. You've been fine at this job. You can ask for the rate and they're like telling her like, you should be looking at what they're paying you way too little for this, you should be looking at these things. And all I could think is like, this poor person is carrying on some weight on their shoulder as if it's like, I mean, the way she said it was as if she'd like killed someone her past job. And it was, I doubt it.Debi Silber 31:57  Yeah. And you know, when you say that, and the first thing that comes to my mind is worthiness and confidence shattered. That's a betrayal. I'm sure, I'm sure. I wish I could speak to her because I'm sure that's what's at the root. Lesley Logan 32:09  Yeah, I feel like okay, you guys, you guys study all these people. But I feel like almost you don't go through life without like, no one gets flipped through life being unscathed. I feel like betrayal can happen. So some of it so intentionally, I guess maybe it's unintentional as well. Even the people who are cheating on their spouses, like (inaudible) they intentionally I'm betraying this person, but like, it feels so personal like we talked about the beginning, that I feel like it can happen in a lot of different instances just by being part of the world. So I guess I'm wondering, like, is there a way to prevent betrayal?Debi Silber 32:42  You know, integrity? Yeah, here's and that's the thing. It's, it's such a part of our of our lives. And, you know, you wonder, it's like, Why in the world, would this be such a part of our lives, I kind of look at it as it gives you an opportunity to completely catapult yourself to a level of you, you never even thought possible, you know what it's like, it's like, you know, my kids used to love Legos, right? So imagine there's a Lego structure sitting in a corner of the living room, it's that good. It's just there. It's been built, right? And then one day, it's just completely knocked down. Rebuilding yourself, and transforming after betrayal is like looking at that Lego structure and say, you know what, I don't want to use that piece, I don't want to build it that way. I'm gonna use this, I'm gonna do it like that. And you are recreating everything. And betrayal lends itself to creating an entirely new version of you, where you take all the parts of you that you love, and you leave behind everything that no longer serves, like if the old you settled, if the old you tolerated, you know, stuff that this version of you doesn't want to if the old you didn't speak up for yourself, whatever it was, you have so many opportunities after betrayal, because everything's been leveled to decide who it is you want to be. And this isn't just having to do with another person. This is with yourself. Like, for example, after my betrayal, I realized, you know, I was so hard on myself, I was always such a, like, I was criticizing myself and so critical. And you know what? I don't want to do that anymore. So I decided that after betrayal, I used to always do things that I would call so stupid and so dumb, like, I'd get lost wherever I go. It's just part of what I do. They just get lost. And I decided, You know what, I'm just not going to call myself those names. So now when I do those same things, it's simply adorable.Lesley Logan 34:39  Yes, what a kind of way to talk to yourself.Debi Silber 34:42  I'll get lost just as I always do. And now I'm like, you're just so adorable. You see what I mean? So it's like you get to rebuild whatever you want. That's the opportunity but you never access that stuff. When you're stuck. Because you're like I have my story. It's like think about it. I had very powerful story all the people that I trusted all betrayed me. But look at the story now, you know, the books, the TEDx talks, the Institute, thousands of people, to the certified coaches, like, it's a way better story.Lesley Logan 35:12  Yeah. Okay, one more question. Um, now that you've gone through this, and like you've helped all these people who recover and get to stage five, do you find that people who've gone through stage five, if betrayal happens to them, again, they handle it? They don't have to go through all the stages again, or like, do we have to go, we have to, like, we feel all the feelings. Debi Silber 35:34  It's two things. It's number one, it doesn't, it doesn't happen that way, again, because your BS meter is so strong and so sharpened, that you don't attract those types of people in your lives. If you do, there's another lesson needing to be learned. But the good news is you have the tools to get right, you get through it so much more quickly. And like the emotional trajectory of this is like this, and you you breeze through it so much faster. It's like, first, you are so profoundly sad. You're like, oh, my gosh, how could they do this to me? You know, you're heartbroken. And then it moves towards anger, where you like, how do you do that to me, like, what, and that's actually healing. And then you get to this place of almost like pity, like, really, that's like, that's what you have to do. That's actually a really, really great place. Because it's almost as if you were in the picture. And now you're out of the picture, looking at it, seeing it for what it is and realizing it's not you. So that's huge. And then you move, you keep going with the healing, you move towards compassion, when you're in compassion, you're good, that's when you're healed. That doesn't mean you excuse it, you're setting yourself up for it again, none of that, it just means you have completely healed and use the situation to create the most healed healthy, whole, complete version of you.Lesley Logan 36:54  Oh, I love that I that. There's something like very promising and hopeful about that because it, it means you don't have to repeat all of the stuckness and the level three, and you can move through it faster. And I think like you are right, the opportunities are so key. Every person listen, I feel like some of the, you mentioned earlier, some of the best things that have ever been invented have come through people healing from something, you know, I just interviewed a guest who lost her husband to cancer. And she wrote because of how she noticed how people treated her during his cancer. And then after she read a book on like, here's how you help people, and you're going through something, and like, I feel like, you know, we can, it can be so easy. Why is this happening to me, but also not that you'd ever want, like, wish for bad things to happen to you. But my goodness, like, the things that do come from the shit are helping so many more people. And you get to have this incredible journey around you and learn from these lessons. And it doesn't have to be your story. Debi Silber 38:02  Right? Oh, you're so right. And it's so true. Think about it, you know, the most the best health experts. I know, they've been in the worst of health situations and they created their own concoction and healed from it. Someone who's you know, so great at helping you with, let's say finances, maybe they were broken, they came up with their whole recipe. So it's I feel like we have an obligation if we've been through something and we've sort of created a path. How do you not share that like when the five stages showed up? I'm like, How do I keep this myself? You know, so I put the five stages in a program and it blew up and then everyone wants to work with me and lead. Well, how do I do that? So I created our certification program because I wanted to get these five stages out to everybody. And then that blew up and I was like, Wait a second. I did the research. I know what works. I know what doesn't work. What would happen if I put everything that has proven to work under one roof. And that's the PBT Institute. Lesley Logan 38:55  So amazing. You're doing incredible things. Oh my gosh, Debi, this is I feel like so enlightened. I feel like I've got tools. I hope our listeners do too. I could keep talking to you. We'll have to definitely probably revisit this topic again with you soon. But we're gonna take a brief break and find out people can work with you. Lesley Logan 39:12  Now. Okay, where do you hang out? Where's the best place people get your books, people can work with you if they've gone through betrayal? Debi Silber 39:20  Yeah, everything can be found in the PBT as in Post Betrayal Transformation, the PBTinstitute.comLesley Logan 39:26  Perfect. Okay, you've given us some amazing tools and just so much information that I think will help everybody be it till they see it even in the midst of a betrayal. But before I let you go, bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?Debi Silber 39:42  You know, I would say if you're stuck in stage three, these are four questions I invite you to write down that's my way of saying write these down. Ready? First one, am I numbing, avoiding distracting? If so hell call yourself on it? Do you walk into the refrigerator, the kitchen, open the fridge and not the least bit hungry like what's going on? Do you go into a room put a TV on because you're desperately trying to drown out the sound of your own thoughts? Call yourself on it. Number two, what am I trying not to see? Call yourself on it. Am I trying not to see that health issue that needs my attention? That relationship issue? The job I hate? Third question, what's life that will look like in five to 10 years if I keep this going the same way you're dealing with it or not dealing with it, play it out. How does it look? The fourth question, what can life look like in five to 10 years if I change now? Not saying it's easy. Transformation begins when you tell yourself the truth.Lesley Logan 39:46  Yeah, and also like you can't, you can't be it till you see it if you don't have some ideas of where you want to like where you want to go to some sort of dream of something that can be on the other side of amazing. I invite you guys to write those questions down and go through it myself. A.k.a., do it. Oh, my gosh, Debi, thank you so much for being here. Y'all, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Please make sure you share this episode with a friend who you know who is going through some betrayal. You know, that person is that person stuck in stage three that you're like, oh my gosh, I wish I could just pull them out. Just send them this episode. You know, you don't have to tell them why you could just send it to them. And please tag Dr. Debi Silber, the Be It Pod and let us know what your takeaways are. We love hearing what these are because it does allow us to see the impact that we're making in your life. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 41:25  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.   Lesley Logan 41:52  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 42:07  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 42:12  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 42:17  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 42:24  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 42:27  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this insightful episode, we dive deep into the complex issues of betrayal, shattered trust, and the journey towards healing. The discussion not only uncovers the painful cycle of repeat betrayals but also offers hope for anyone struggling to move past their traumas. We explore the concept of unhealed betrayals manifesting through different relationships in your life, the profound lessons to be learned from these experiences, and the importance of establishing better boundaries.  Key Points Discussed  Understanding Repeat Betrayals: The phenomenon of experiencing betrayal in various forms across different relationships is highlighted as a sign of an unhealed initial betrayal, offering an opportunity for profound personal growth.  The Opportunity in Betrayal: Rather than seeing betrayal as solely a negative experience, it's framed as a chance to learn valuable life lessons, emphasizing that we're lovable, worthy, and deserving of better.  Post Betrayal Syndrome®  (PBS®): Symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome®, along with feeling rejected, abandoned, or having a lack of confidence, are discussed as common responses to betrayal that need to be addressed for healing.  Roots in Childhood Traumas: The discussion touches on how childhood experiences, particularly traumatic ones, shape our beliefs about ourselves and influence our future relationships and self-worth.  The Power of Belief: The episode explores how beliefs formed from past experiences, especially negative ones, can dictate our life choices and relationships, underscoring the importance of challenging and changing these beliefs.  From Hurt to Healed: Insights from the book "From Hardened to Healed" are shared, offering strategies to identify and change limiting beliefs formed from past betrayals.  The PBT® (Post Betrayal Transformation®) Institute's Role: The episode highlights the work of The PBT Institute, including our signature Betrayal to Breakthrough program and how it helps people navigate through the Five Stages of healing from betrayal.  Importance of New Beliefs for a New Path: The need to adopt new, empowering beliefs to replace the old, limiting ones is stressed as essential for personal growth and healing.    Insights Offered  Healing Requires Awareness: Acknowledging that the first step towards healing is recognizing the beliefs that hold us back and deciding to adopt new, supportive beliefs that align with who we want to be.  Bridges Over Affirmations: A discussion on how "bridges" — realistic, believable statements — can be more effective than traditional affirmations in creating positive change.  The Role of Support in Healing: Emphasizing the importance of seeking the right type of support to navigate the challenging process of changing deeply ingrained beliefs and healing from betrayal.  Life as a Reflection of Beliefs: The episode concludes with a powerful message that our lives are a representation of our beliefs, urging listeners to examine and revise their beliefs to create a life that truly reflects their worth and potential.  Final Thoughts  The episode is a call to action for anyone struggling with the aftermath of betrayal to recognize the opportunity for transformation. It encourages listeners to reevaluate their beliefs, seek support, and embark on a path to healing and self-discovery.  Remember, healing from betrayal is not only possible; it's a journey towards becoming a stronger, more resilient version of yourself. Join us next time as we continue to explore the paths to healing and personal growth.    Resources:  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  Trust Again 2.0: https://thepbtinstitute.com/trust-again/  Reclaim Program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/ 

In this deeply moving episode, we explore a story that powerfully embodies the journey from betrayal to breakthrough, shedding light on the profound impacts of addiction, loss, and recovery on family dynamics, faith, and personal growth.  Guest Story:  Our guest Ken Guidroz shares an incredibly personal and heartbreaking story that may resonate with many of our listeners. His 27-year-old son, struggling with a decade-long opioid addiction, was involved in a tragic accident that led to a man's death. This event not only brought unimaginable challenge and sorrow to the family but also led to profound introspection and transformation.  Challenges Faced:  The personal struggle of dealing with addiction within the family.  The impact of a tragic accident on the guest's son and the entire family.  Navigating the complexities of emotions, including feelings of betrayal by a loved one and even by God.  The effects on his marriage and parenting approach.    Book Highlight:  Ken discusses his award-winning book, "Letters to My Son in Prison," a poignant compilation of letters exchanged between him and his son. The book delves into the themes of betrayal, forgiveness, and the unyielding hope for redemption and transformation.  Key Insights:  Parenting: Reflections on what was learned through this harrowing experience and how it has shaped a new approach to parenting.  Relationship with Son: The path to overcoming a decade of disappointment and addiction through heartfelt communication and support.  Faith Rediscovered: A journey of finding God and spirituality beyond the confines of traditional religious practices.  Marriage Resilience: Insights into how the marriage was tested and the unconventional compromises made to navigate through the toughest times.    This episode is a testament to the power of resilience, the possibility of transformation in the face of despair, and the strength found in forgiveness and renewed faith. Join us as we navigate these delicate topics with compassion, offering hope and insights to those facing similar struggles.    Recommended Resources:  "Letters to My Son in Prison"   kenguidroz.com  Support groups for families dealing with addiction  Counseling and spiritual guidance resources  The PBT Institute https://thepbtinstitute.com    Connect with Us:  We invite you to share your thoughts, stories, and insights with us. Connect through our social media channels or email us directly. Your story could be a beacon of hope for someone in the midst of their struggle.  Remember, you're not alone on this journey. 

In this episode, we explore the journey of overcoming betrayal and discovering personal freedom with Dr. Karin Louise. Dr. Karin shares her personal experiences of betrayal from close relationships and how these led to her professional focus on healing and transformation. Her story takes us from the shock of discovering her partner's infidelity to the deeper understanding of her own patterns and the spiritual awakening that followed. Dr. Karin's insights provide valuable lessons on navigating the aftermath of betrayal, the importance of self-care, and the power of redefining one's identity beyond the pain.  Key Points Discussed:  The Catalyst of Betrayal: Karin recounts the moment her life changed when she discovered her partner's infidelity, marking it as "D Day" on her calendar. This event triggered a cascade of revelations and the onset of deep personal and emotional turmoil.  Connection to Childhood Trauma: The betrayal unearthed Karin's unhealed childhood trauma, revealing a pattern of abandonment and betrayal that had roots in her past. This recognition was a turning point in her healing journey.  Navigating Post Betrayal Syndrome: Karin dives into the physical, mental, and emotional symptoms she faced following the betrayal, with Dr. Debi highlighting the concept of Post Betrayal Syndrome™ and its impact on her overall well-being.  The Path to Healing and Transformation: Karin's journey led her to return to school, where she pursued further education in counseling and education, ultimately obtaining a PhD. This academic and personal growth period catalyzed significant breakthroughs in her understanding of trauma, healing, and self-awareness.  Spiritual Awakening and Soul Contracts: A pivotal moment in Karin's story was a spiritual awakening that helped her understand the concept of soul contracts and the role they play in our relationships and life challenges. This new perspective offered her a sense of peace and a framework for understanding her experiences.  Overcoming Guilt and Reclaiming Identity: Karin discusses the struggle with guilt and shame that often accompanies the healing process from betrayal. She emphasizes the importance of pushing through these feelings to reclaim one's identity and prioritize personal happiness and fulfillment.  Finding Strength in Vulnerability: The episode touches on the courage required to face one's vulnerabilities and the strength found in acknowledging and working through them, rather than suppressing or ignoring the pain.    Karin's story is a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the potential for growth and transformation that lies within the pain of betrayal. Her insights offer hope and guidance for anyone navigating the difficult journey of healing after being betrayed, underscoring the importance of self-care, personal growth, and the pursuit of a life defined by one's own terms of freedom and fulfillment.  Recommended Resources:  Dr. Karin Louise's book, The Fatherless Daughter Project  Connect with Karin Louise: https://doctorkarin.com/  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/      Explore healing and freedom after betrayal in this powerful episode. Dive into her personal journey from discovery to transformation, uncovering insights on overcoming trauma, navigating post betrayal syndrome, and the pivotal role of spiritual awakening. Learn how to reclaim your identity and find strength in vulnerability. A must-listen for anyone seeking to turn pain into purpose. 

Ever been totally betrayed by someone you trusted? Yeah, it sucks. Trust us, we've all been there.  But guess what? You don't have to stay stuck in heartbreak.Join us as we chat with Dr. Debi Silber, a total betrayal EXPERT, about turning that pain into serious growth.  She'll break down the stages of healing (because let's face it, healing isn't always linear, amirite?) and how to ditch the victim mentality and embrace your inner badass.We'll also hear real stories (including Dr. Silber's!) about relationships bouncing back from betrayal stronger than ever.  Plus, we'll connect you with the PBT Institute's awesome resources to support your journey.Ready to stop letting betrayal hold you back and build a life filled with trust? Hit play and let's level up together!Introducing the 60 Day Deal Finder!Visit: www.MartinREIMastery.comUse the Coupon Code: WEALTHYAFfor 20% off! This episode is brought to you by Premier Ridge Capital.Build Generational Wealth As A Passive Investor In Multifamily Real Estate Syndication!Visit www.premierridgecapital.com to find out more.Support the show

Welcome to a new episode where we dive into the fascinating world of Human Design and how it can help in the healing process from betrayal. Join us as we explore this unique modality and its potential to provide deeper insights into our struggles and strengths.  Key Points from the Episode:  Introduction to Human Design as a new modality for healing from betrayal.  The decision to incorporate Human Design into the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) framework. Explanation of Human Design as a combination of the Chinese I Ching, astrology, the chakra system, Kabbalah, and quantum physics. Discussion on the static nature of one's Human Design chart and its interpretation based on life experiences and astrological conditions. Overview of the five types within Human Design: Manifesters, Manifesting Generators, Generators, Projectors, and Reflectors. Personal insights from the host on being a Manifesting Generator and how it aligns with their nature of managing multiple projects. The importance of understanding one's Human Design type to foster self-acceptance and effective decision-making. Insights into how different types and centers in Human Design can influence your life, actions, and energy levels. Exploration of the concept of the "not-self theme" in Human Design, where pushing and initiating can be counterproductive for certain types. A brief overview of the centers in Human Design, including the emotional solar plexus and how it relates to empathy and absorbing energy from others. Discussion on the significance of gates and channels in Human Design, and their role in defining our unique characteristics and life themes. How Human Design can provide validation, self-understanding, and clarity, especially when healing from betrayal. The importance of aligning with one's natural design to prevent burnout and promote wellness. An invitation for listeners to learn more about their own Human Design through a session with the host, regardless of their membership status with the PBT Institute.  Episode Highlights:  Human Design: A powerful tool in understanding your unique blueprint for processing experiences and making decisions.  Manifesting Generators: Learn why multitasking and 'burning off energy' are natural and necessary for some.  Types and Centers: How they define our interactions with the world and influence our personal energy.  Empathy and Energy: Insights into why you might be more sensitive or reactive in certain situations.  Healing from Betrayal: The role of Human Design in understanding your reactions and pathways to recovery.  Resources Mentioned:  The PBT Institute Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/humandesign/   Human Design Readings: Available for booking to explore your individual design and how it can aid in healing from betrayal.  If you're intrigued by what Human Design might reveal about your path to healing and personal growth, consider scheduling a session with Dr. Debi. It's a step toward embracing your authentic self and transforming post-betrayal.  This episode introduces a different perspective on healing, highlighting the importance of self-knowledge and tailored recovery paths. Human Design may be the key to unlocking a deeper understanding of your journey through and beyond betrayal.  Stay tuned for our next episode, where we'll continue exploring innovative healing modalities and personal transformation strategies.  Remember, you can access more information and book your Human Design session at https://thepbtinstitute.com/humandesign/ . Join us to uncover the layers of your design and foster a more profound healing process. 

In this thought-provoking episode, we dive deep into the complexities of betrayal and the possibility of change for both the betrayer and the betrayed. The discussion sheds light on common questions surrounding betrayal, its aftermath, and the path toward healing and transformation.  Key Points Discussed:  The Possibility of Change: It's explored whether a betrayer can change. The answer is yes, highlighting that change is based on the betrayer's genuine desire for transformation and not on the expectations or desires of the betrayed.    Types of Betrayers: Two distinct types of betrayers are identified: those who show no remorse, regret, or empathy, and those who, when they realize the impact of their actions, are awakened to the pain they've caused and show potential for change.    The Path to Transformation: Insights are provided into the transformation process for betrayers, emphasizing the absence of shame and blame but highlighting the importance of accountability and deep work through coaching and specific programs designed to facilitate change.    Healing for the Betrayed: The healing timeline for the betrayed can vary based on lots of factors, and the importance of their own healing journey, separate from the betrayer's transformation, is important.    Communication and Acknowledgment: Strategies for effective communication are shared, advising betrayers on how to acknowledge their past actions and demonstrate their commitment to change, which rebuilds trust.    The Role of Fear, Anger, and Vulnerability: The episode discusses how behind anger often lies deeper emotions such as fear and sadness, and how addressing these underlying feelings can help in the healing process.    The Importance of Self-Transformation: The betrayed and the betrayer need to do their own healing work. When they do, they emerge healthier and more self-aware.    Rebuilding Trust and Safety: Tips are offered on rebuilding trust and creating a sense of safety within the relationship, emphasizing the betrayer's role in consistently demonstrating trustworthiness and empathy.  The Impact of Betrayal on Physical and Emotional Health: The physical and emotional toll of betrayal is discussed, including the symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome™ and the importance of addressing these symptoms for holistic healing.    Stages of Healing from Betrayal: The episode outlines the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, encouraging listeners to move through these stages to achieve healing and transformation.    Final Thoughts:  This episode offers a comprehensive look at the process of dealing with betrayal, the potential for change in betrayers, and the path toward healing for the betrayed. It provides valuable insights, practical advice, and hope for anyone navigating the difficult journey of rebuilding trust and finding forgiveness after betrayal.  Whether you're the betrayer looking to make amends and transform yourself, or the betrayed seeking to heal and move forward, this episode is a must-listen, offering guidance, support, and the assurance that change and healing are indeed possible.    The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  Reclaim (for the betrayed): https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/  Rebuild (for the betrayer): https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild-program/  The Post Betrayal Syndrome™  Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/ 

In this episode, Dr. Debi Silber explores the often overlooked consequences of being exceptionally capable, especially in the aftermath of betrayal. She highlights how this trait can lead to detrimental outcomes, both personally and professionally, and offers insights into how to navigate this challenging situation.    Episode Highlights:    The Capability Trap (00:00:45): Dr. Debi dives into how being highly capable can work against you, using examples from her work with individuals at The PBT Institute. When others recognize your competence, they may start relying on you excessively, causing you to shoulder more than you should.    The Burden of Overcommitment (00:03:15): Dr. Debi discusses the dangers of taking on too much due to your capability. She explains that even though you can handle it, it doesn't mean you should, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care.    The Brick Wall Metaphor (00:05:30): A powerful metaphor is introduced—the brick wall. Dr. Debi illustrates how trust, like a brick wall, is built one brick at a time. However, one moment of betrayal can shatter the entire wall. She emphasizes the need for those responsible for the betrayal to actively participate in rebuilding trust.    External Validation (00:09:15): Dr. Debi touches on seeking validation externally, such as through recognition and praise for your capabilities. She warns against relying solely on external validation, as it can lead to self-neglect and stress-related issues.    Physical and Emotional Toll (00:11:30): The episode discusses the physical and emotional toll of taking on too much. Dr. Debi draws from her health background to highlight how stress-related symptoms, illness, and disease can manifest when we push ourselves beyond our limits.    The Opportunity to Rewrite the Script (00:14:00): Dr. Debi emphasizes that betrayal provides an opportunity to reflect on our roles and responsibilities. It allows us to rewrite the script, set healthier boundaries, and reassess our approach to life.    Self-Worth Beyond Actions (00:16:30): The episode concludes by challenging the notion that self-worth is solely tied to our actions and achievements. Dr. Debi encourages listeners to consider their intrinsic value beyond what they do.    Let's Wrap it Up: Dr. Debi Silber's insightful exploration of the pitfalls of exceptional capability provides valuable guidance for those navigating post-betrayal experiences. This episode encourages listeners to strike a balance between their capabilities and self-care while fostering a deeper understanding of self-worth.    Disclaimer: The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice or treatment.     Links:  The PBT Institute 

Understanding and Overcoming Post Betrayal Syndrome™   Introduction:  This episode focuses on Post Betrayal Syndrome™, a collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms commonly experienced after betrayal. We explore how unhealed betrayals can impact us long-term and the importance of healing to overcome these symptoms.  Key Discussion Points:  Defining Post Betrayal Syndrome™: An explanation of Post Betrayal Syndrome™, highlighting its long-lasting effects even years after the betrayal.    Some Symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome™:  Physical Symptoms: Low energy, sleep issues, extreme fatigue, weight changes, and digestive issues.  Mental Symptoms: Overwhelm, disbelief, inability to focus, shock, and concentration difficulties.  Emotional Symptoms: Sadness, anger, hurt, anxiety, stress, inability to trust, and difficulty in forming new relationships.    Healing Strategies:  The necessity of addressing the root cause of the betrayal rather than just managing symptoms.  Moving through The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough for complete healing.    Impact of Betrayal on Life:  Discussion on how betrayal affects personal power, hyper-vigilance, dealing with triggers, and the potential for PTSD-like symptoms.  The influence of betrayal on professional and personal relationships.    Tools and Resources:  Mention of the Post Betrayal Syndrome™ quiz available at the PBT Institute website.  Encouragement to take proactive steps towards healing and not just seeking validation.    Conclusion:  This episode emphasizes the significance of understanding and addressing Post Betrayal Syndrome™. It underscores the need for comprehensive healing to fully recover and thrive beyond the experience of betrayal.  Links:  The PBT Institute  The Post Betrayal Syndrome™ quiz

In this episode, we dive into the complex and painful experience of betrayal. Drawing inspiration from Mel Robbins' podcast on the subject, we explore different perspectives on betrayal, its impact, and ways to overcome its painful consequences.  Highlights:  Understanding Betrayal: Betrayal is a shattering of trust, often by those closest to us like family, partners, or colleagues. It involves breaking spoken or unspoken rules, leading to trauma and a sense of deep betrayal.  Key Insights from Mel Robbins' Episode:    Betrayal is not about the victim but reflects the betrayer's issues.  It's essential to not take betrayal personally, understanding it as a form of avoidance or escape by the betrayer.  Confronting betrayal opens opportunities for growth and understanding.    Dr. Debi's additional insights:    Window of Willingness - A Framework to see if it's safe and in your best interest to heal and rebuild or heal and move on:  Level 1: Full responsibility and remorse by the betrayer.  Level 2: Excuses made by the betrayer.  Level 3: Blame shifting to the victim.  Level 4: Complete denial and refusal of responsibility.    Moving Through the Stages of Betrayal:  Shock and devastation leading to a shattered worldview.  The danger of getting stuck in stage three - "I'm fine" stage, leading to chronic symptoms.  Transitioning to stage four, focusing on personal healing and growth.    Healing Strategies:  Recognizing the need to rebuild trust and integrity after betrayal.  Evaluating when and how to rebuild a relationship.  Understanding the transformative potential of confronting and moving past betrayal.    Personal Stories and Examples:  Insights from members of the PBT Institute and personal experiences with betrayal.  Discussion on how betrayal can lead to personal transformation and new beginnings.    This episode emphasizes that while betrayal is incredibly painful, it also presents an opportunity for profound personal growth and transformation. By confronting and understanding betrayal, individuals can emerge stronger, more resilient, and more self-aware.  Links:  https://thepbtinstitute.com  

The Highly Sensitive Empath and Betrayal: • Highly sensitive empaths often struggle deeply with betrayal because they can feel and anticipate the emotions of others. • Betrayal hits them hard, leading to a profound sense of pain. • Dr. Debi discusses the unique dynamics between narcissists and highly sensitive empaths, highlighting their differences in empathy levels.
 The Journey to Healing: • Despite the initial crash, highly sensitive empaths can embark on a journey of healing. • By working through the five secrets of betrayal to breakthrough, they can find peace, joy, and fulfillment. • Dr. Debi emphasizes the importance of not getting stuck in stage three by endlessly retelling the betrayal story without a plan for moving forward.
 The Five Stages of Healing: • Dr. Debi outlines the five stages of healing from betrayal: stage one through stage five. • She discusses the transition from stage three to stage four, which is action-oriented and focused on personal transformation.
 Coffee Chats and Couples Counseling: • Dr. Debi hosts open Q&A sessions called "Coffee Chats" in the PBT Institute, where members can ask questions. • She shares insights on couples counseling after betrayal, emphasizing the need for validation and understanding.
 Transforming After Betrayal: • After betrayal, there is an opportunity for personal transformation and the birth of a new self. • Dr. Debi highlights the importance of healing physically, mentally, and emotionally. • She encourages individuals not to settle for just being "okay" with the betrayer but to focus on personal growth and change.
 Join the PBT Institute: • To navigate the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, Dr. Debi recommends joining the PBT Institute, which offers tools, support, and a supportive community. • The goal is to help individuals become confident, healthy, peaceful, and happy on the other side of their healing journey.   Thank you for listening to this episode of "From Betrayal to Breakthrough." Here's to your breakthrough!   For more information and resources, visit the PBT Institute website: PBT Institute  

Betrayal. It's a harsh word that carries a heavy burden. We've all faced it in one form or another, and its aftershock can be devastating. But what if I told you, it could also be transformative? Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation™ Institute, joins me to explore the complex realm of betrayal and its aftermath, sharing her own personal journey of overcoming betrayal and the wisdom she gained along the way.Together, we reveal the profound impact of betrayal, and the unique opportunities it presents for personal growth. Discover the common symptoms of post-betrayal syndrome, and the enlightening research findings on the transformational power of overcoming betrayal. You'll learn about the different stages of healing, the potential pitfalls, and how to move forward towards transformation. With Dr. Silber's expert guidance, you'll discover how to navigate the healing stages, rebuild your life after a betrayal, and recognize the potential signs of unhealed wounds.But our exploration doesn't end there. We delve deeper into the intricate process of healing, examining how betrayal affects various areas of our lives, including our relationships, health, and work. Dr. Silber shares insights from her three-month program at the PBT Institute, specifically designed to aid individuals on their journey through the healing stages. We also tackle the concept of self-betrayal, stressing the importance of making a concerted effort to overcome it. Intrigued?Listen in for an enlightening discussion on post-betrayal transformation and be sure to check out the PBT Institute for more resources.About our Guest:Dr. Debi Silber is an award winning and 2-time TEDx speaker, the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute, host of the podcast From Betrayal to Breakthrough which is globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts, is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert, and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author.https://thepbtinstitute.com/Join our private Facebook community for BONUS content to ignite your own Relaunch: https://www.facebook.com/groups/232280334811612/Interested in being a guest on the ReLaunch Podcast or booking Hilary as a guest? Email us at hello@therelaunchco.comFind Us on Your Favorite Podcast App - https://the-silver-lined-relaunch.captivate.fm/listenThe ReLaunch Your Magic Retreat is the ultimate event that will guide you in manifesting a heightened level of success even if your entrepreneurial spirit has fizzled out. Register now at: https://www.therelaunchcocourses.com/ReLaunch-Your-Magic

In this insightful episode of The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast we are joined by the incredible Elizabeth Kipp, a physical and emotional trauma survivor who wears many hats as an Ancestral Healing Practitioner, Chronic Pain & Stress Management Specialist, Trauma-Trained and Yoga-Informed Addiction Recovery Coach. Elizabeth is also a Betrayal Trauma Coach for the PBT Institute and the bestselling author of "The Way Through Chronic Pain: Tools to Reclaim Your Healing Power."During our conversation, Elizabeth generously shares her wealth of knowledge and experience on chronic pain and the profound impact of ancestral clearing from generational trauma. Elizabeth's personal journey serves as a testament to the fact that healing is possible, offering hope and inspiration to those who may be navigating their own paths of recovery.A highlight of the episode is a special prayer that Elizabeth graciously shares, focusing on clearing the mother wound. For those eager to delve into this transformative practice, the prayer begins around minute 34 of the episode. This guided experience of ancestral healing opens up a unique opportunity for listeners to explore the connection between their present struggles and the impact of generational trauma.As a Trauma-Trained and Yoga-Informed Addiction Recovery Coach, Elizabeth guides listeners through gentle and easy ways to calm themselves, providing valuable tools for self-care and emotional well-being. By the end of the episode, listeners will not only have gained practical insights into managing chronic pain and stress but will also have experienced the profound effects of ancestral healing, understanding how generational trauma may influence their reactions to life's challenges.If you've experienced trauma, emotional or narcissistic abuse and/or chronic pain, listen in for a transformative journey with Elizabeth Kipp, where healing, empowerment, and the recognition of ancestral influences converge to create a powerful and enlightening listening experience.Elizabeth R Kipp's Book - The Way Through Chronic Pain: Tools to Reclaim Your Healing PowerContact her here:Website  https://Elizabeth-Kipp.comFacebook https://www.facebook.com/ElizabethKippStressManagement/Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lizi.kipp/LinkedIn  https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabethkipp/YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@elizabethkipp9855/videosSupport the showTo work with Allison in her 1:1 Coaching Program, schedule a FREE Consultationhttps://app.squarespacescheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebookhttps://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/To learn more about Rapid Reprogramming for Subconscious Healing visit the websitewww.whentearsleavescars.com