Podcasts about nrh

Alexandra McAulay shares about her recent transition from full-time student ministry at NRH to full-time motherhood. Be encouraged and blessed by her powerful words to students, parents and leaders. Thank you, Alexandra, for your legacy in student ministry. If you would like to encourage Alexandra, contribute your blessings here: Alexandra Blessing Form  Reach out to us at nextgennow@thehills.org and find more information about The Hills Church at www.thehills.org.  

A convidada desta semana do Sefaz Conecta começou sua carreira na sede da Secretaria da Fazenda e Planejamento, no famoso Predião, mas desde 2010 está no Centro Regional de Administração de Osasco, onde é diretora técnica do Núcleo de Finanças. Você vai conhecer a história de Jéssica Alessandra Borges. “Em setembro de 2002, iniciei meu exercício no Departamento de Recursos Humanos (Núcleo de Cadastro), onde fiquei até 2010, quando fui para a Regional de Osasco. Fiquei no NRH até dezembro de 2014. Em 2015, passei a fazer assistência ao diretor do Centro Regional de Administração de Osasco e desde novembro de 2016 estou designada como diretora do Núcleo de Finanças”, explica. Antes de entrar na Sefaz-SP, Jéssica deu aulas no programa de Alfabetização de Jovens e Adultos (EJA) da Secretaria de Educação de Mauá, onde mais aprendeu do que ensinou com os seus senhores alunos e suas histórias de vida. Além de praticar atividade física três vezes por semana, ela também faz um trabalho artesanal com papéis por meio da técnica chamada de quilling, que consiste em criar desenhos e figuras com tiras de papel. As tiras são geralmente enroladas e modeladas para dar o efeito desejado. Vinda de uma família cheia de “Marias” com suas histórias de lutas e vitórias, Jéssica Borges dá o tom no final do bate papo com a música de Milton Nascimento. O terceiro episódio da nona temporada do Sefaz Conecta está no ar!

Are you using technology or is it using you? Join Adam and Jill as they interview Fort Worth Christian Director of Modern Learning and Next Gen Now podcast producer Darryl Loy as we dive into this anxiety-producing hot topic. We only scratch the service so we anticipate there are more podcasts to come. Parents of kids and students are invited to the Parent Gathering on Wednesday, April 24 at KLR, NRH and WFW campuses. Check with your campus kids or student minister for details where you will discuss establishing a Technology Rule of Life for your family. Description - Reach out to us at nextgennow@thehills.org and find more information about The Hills Church at www.thehills.org.

Are you using technology or is it using you? Join Adam and Jill as they interview Fort Worth Christian Director of Modern Learning and Next Gen Now podcast producer Darryl Loy as we dive into this anxiety-producing hot topic. We only scratch the service so we anticipate there are more podcasts to come. Parents of kids and students are invited to the Parent Gathering on Wednesday, April 24 at KLR, NRH and WFW campuses. Check with your campus kids or student minister for details where you will discuss establishing a Technology Rule of Life for your family. Description - Reach out to us at nextgennow@thehills.org and find more information about The Hills Church at www.thehills.org.

When thirty-eight-year-old Steven Robards died unexpectedly in the winter of 1993, everyone including the coroner believed his death to have been the result of a heart attack—unusual for someone so young, but certainly not unheard of. It wasn't until the following year, when Steven's teenage daughter, Marie, was practicing for the school play, that the girl confessed the truth to her friend: Steven Robards didn't die from a heart attack, he was murdered by his daughter with chemicals she'd stolen from the high school chemistry lab.In the United States, it's exceedingly rare for a child to kill a parent, and rarer still for that child to be female. The truth about Steven Robards murder shocked the residents of the Fort Worth area and divided the community between those who were sympathetic to her claims of desperation and those who saw her as nothing more than a craven predator who'd do anything to get what she wanted. Indeed, Marie claimed she had only wanted to make her father sick so she could return to living with her mother, from whom she'd been separated since her parents' divorce, and she had never wanted to kill him.Ultimately a jury didn't buy Marie's story and sentenced her to twenty-seven years in prison, of which she served only seven years before being paroled. Was Marie Robards really just a confused teenager who acted impulsive without regard for the consequences of her actions? Or was she really the calculating self-serving killer some believed her to be?Thank you to David White, of the Bring Me the Axe podcast, for research assistance!ReferencesBlaney, Betsy. 1997. "Trial near for NRH teen accused of killing father." Fort Worth Star-Telegram, August 17: 1.Cochran, Mike. 1996. "Ex-UT student headed for patricide trial." Austin American-Statesman, May 6: 11.—. 1996. "Teen says she didn't mean to kill dad." Fort Worth Star-Telegram, May 6: 1.Hanna, Bill, and Kathy Sanders. 1994. "Daughter appears in court." Fort Worth Star-Telegram, October 20: 21.Hollandsworth, Skip. 1996. "Poisoning Daddy." Texas Monthly, July 01.Hood County News. 1994. "City staff's reactions mixed on poison suspect's presence." Hood County News, November 2: 1.Vozzella, Laura. 1996. "Accused dreamed of being coroner, prosecutor says." Fort Worth Star-Telegram, May 8: 50.—. 1996. "Chemistry student gets 28-year term in father's death." Fort Worth Star-Telegram, May 11: 1.—. 1996. "Teen is found guilty of poisoning her father." Fort Worth Star-Telegram, May 10: 15.—. 1996. "Teacher says chemical hidden from police." Fort Worth Star-Telegraph, May 9: 21.2001. Forensic Files. Directed by David Wasser. Performed by David Wasser.Alaina's 2nd book in the Dr Wren Muller Series, THE BUTCHER GAME will be released on September 17th, 2024! To Pre-order go to (https://zandoprojects.com/books/the-butcher-game/) PLUS! If you preorder the book, get an autographed poster while supplies last by visiting (http://thebutchergame.com/)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide: The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow [An Inspiring Story] Had I exacted this science, For starters, On anyone else but A circle of stars, I forewarn you, I wouldn't be honored as such Just a disheartened philosopher, A nonpartisan biocentric; Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET. what. WE'RE STILL WAITING. huh? DRAKE BELL How long do i have to keep doing this for? ILLUMINATI Till the end DRAKE BELL Whens the end. ILLUMINATI When it is. Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment. *squinting* –and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky. *squinting even harder* –No… –No…(?) No. …No. Ugh! Try not to hold your breath. *holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.* I told you, I need this. *attempt to block telepathy had failed* You don't need anything. *squinting exactly alike* The eyes really are windows… Maybe I should jump out then. –or jump in. dayumm . sike . Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project. How much acid did you put in the water. Enough Fuck, I hate my life. Which bottle is it in. [beat] All of them. *facepalm* Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do. I wouldn't quite call it that. I would. Don't be gross. I'm you. You're gross. Touche. I don't think we should be doing this. We shouldn't be. Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp? Nice. He's like 100 years old. Ah, to be young again. So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady? Really fucking old. Like, how old, though. Really, really fucking old. Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess. [She dances by] *gasp* Is that her?! Yeus. She's young again! It appears she has procured a body! Presumably! I must do the same! At once! At one! Lol who are these dudes. Just wait for it. Hurmph. Nrh. *sigh of deep frustration, facepalm* *falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment* Oh good, they're here. Who's they? I don't know! Hm. Suhp. Nice rabbit hole. *shrugs nonscalontly* On telephone) She bought a what a Whole Foods Market? (In public, trying not to be heard) A penis shaped sweet potato. A WHAT? [Speak up] A– penis shaped sweet potato. A WH– A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO. (Everyone stops and stares) …it was delicious. Nice. I don't know Anymore What to do With myself I'm a mess On the Inside and out –wanna cry about it He's a rock and roll sex God I don't know What to think Anymore No, don't ask My opinion, It gets old Afterawhile, And after awhile I'll cry about it, but Right now, I've gotta get out of this Gotta get out! I gotta get out of this project. Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ? I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing. Ugh, what do you want. Listen, Ill make it quicK: It's bee quick. Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what. Or what. That's all I want to know. Know what? When? When what? [Stopping] Are you serious. What. If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it. MAybe it's not. Yeah, I wish. Hey! wishes get granted– –I said that. –You said that. Look– Don't touch me. Sorry. No you're not. –if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how. Oh, the “How” Yeah. You want the “How” Just–yes. If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How” Well, do you know how? You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. Well. Okay. “Okay”? I'm not a human being. Oh, right. UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN. Well, that's your grandmother, so Great-great– Whatever. You exist because she exists. Existed. She was dead before I was born! Actually, that's not true. Beg your pardon. …Ever had your palm read before. All of your kids– “kids “ Read: Lovechildren. Ahem. Are in this room And– Fuck that I'm not writing this scene, It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written. No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about, Is that so? No! It's funny but– But what? It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me. What is UP. What IS up? Have you ever thought about dating a writer? No. Aw, come on… Actually yes–once Once is all I need! Not you. Daww… I dated a writer once in college. What, really? Really. But that was in college. I was in college. He was a writer. Oh, that's hot. Not Exactly. He worked for Disney. Wait–he what? Hm. I almost forgot about that. DISNEY We didn't [simultaneously] MICKEY MOUSE I didn't. Well, what happened. Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was… Flashback: Wait, you're 17. SEVENTEEN?? What's th difference! A YEAR! *purses lips* …or like, a couple months… *face* …or like–midnight on your birthday! *squints* But not 17! *shrugs* Hollywood Is Hollywood. Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story What's “New Hollywood?” My level is indifference, Benevolence, inward violence Ending obsessions and arrangements, Incessant sexual repression, Exponential explanations –Of the world i've never lived in, but created, apparently. Now, i”m unhinged Haven't made a decision on whether I should just binger, or Find a new mister, Or end it I'm still sitting Stuck on ‘concentrical' Now I'm unhinged And it's just been a minute I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but I should stay clear, is it Everclear or Here, son, Just have another bottle Now i'm not stuck on Nothing and no one I cant even see movies anymore All i see is actors, All i hear is conversations I've already written in Closed conversations with critics Dressed as Angels All i see is Camera Angles The city of angels But my algorithm Must have build new york for me, From consciousness or something Sometimes just apartment hunting is Simply avigation and, of course Expanding the map It's just a 3D phenomenon, But all I want is just a hug, You know No you don't know. I've been stuck at concentrical Stopped at Columbus Circle, and The harsher the winter, The fonder of the west I am The girls scream in the audience, I hiss “My sentiments exactly” My sentiments exactly. Keep them all away from me, I'll love them at a distance I only want the music, anyway I only want the music And the music is All anyone knows about her, really Even her mother Who loves her, But at a distance And the music is, The only think she knows, anymore Even the words are just Color that accents it. Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af Right now is corny af. Yeah, i guess. LOOK AT THESE CREDITS: Oh my God. LOOK AT EM. OKAY, ALRIGHT. YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET. What's a “Foley editor” NOBODY. Well he's in the credits. Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck “A foley editor” What IS that. I don't know, Mr. Hollywood. Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood. Well, not literally– Of course not. Wait, is that a thing. If it was, would I be it? [Super Nerdy Writer] I mean, you'd at least be the poster child. Okay, my turn. HI THERE, FACE HERE. *inconsolable screaming* Holy shit, the 90's was RAW. Okay, so your childhood is terrifying. Just wait till we get to the *More inconsolable screaming* Lol. Look. What up bro. It's Juggalos. lol . After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string. Woah. Yeah. Do you think it's aliens Probably. Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know. Right. Lol. maybe you're the alien. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. We know you know where it is. I DO NOT. You're hiding it. HIDE! THAT THING?! So you do know what it is OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it. BRFORR Quick! HIde! OKay. THAT THING IS ENORMOUS. Hm. Smaller. OK. I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5 Seven Bananas… FUCK, MAN. What's this dumb game. *takes shot* it IS dumb. You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana. Oh no. This is fucked up. *barfs* You wanna play? Nah, I'm good. Diplo. What. You have 57 children. *nods* Never look at me again. *hangs head* Go that way, with your children. Dillon Francis. Yes. You have 8 kids. )That's believable) Oh, wow. *You have 84 kids. WHAT! He has more kids than me! Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black. Go say hello. Uhh. Now: Wait, where are you going. The the auditorium. There's an auditorium? For what. AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common. What the fuck. How does he have more kids than me?! Are you serious?! Whose kids are THESE. Mind your business. Let me guess. There's still busses pulling up. I know. And a helicopter! Oh, that's just the guest of honor. Are you serious. SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert. *landing on helipad* LOL OhGod. MEANWHRILE. Whats in here. NOTHING. Just GET IN THE BOX. NO. GET– NO IN THE BOX WElcome to Jack In The Box Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking? Uhhh. Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos. Eugh Extra squirt. Gross! And uh– You want anything. I'm good. Suit yourself. Best tacos ever. __ Wait, hold on. “Wait what” I think i might be getting tired, or something. Right…tired, “or something.” Or something. RIght. *blow horn* * * * * * * * Do you ever get lonely. No. Oh… But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed. Oh! Moving on. Watch this. *snipes* Nice. Now check it out, that's where she respawns. (from behind) Not always. Oh shit. *stop*camping* DOUBLE KILL. Nice. Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map. Would you shut up. You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment? …no. Too bad. You're hired. …hired for what. You applied on indeed, right? Yeah, as a janitor. NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor. What! Here's your camera. (it is a cheap disposable) Are you serious. You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon. Can't I just use my iPhone? Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed? …no. Then NO. … “The Bad Boys Of Hollywood” Prepare To Be Canceled the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness. I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. What's that? Shut up Don't ever look at me again. If i could take my eyes out, I would. No, need–I can do it for you. Haha, charade you are. You're a disaster. That's your excuse. Yeah, what's yours? Under the indifferential circumstances– “ooh–lala” I'm not as partial to making excuses as –as to what? Kissing ass? Only cute ones. Let it settle in, way down below deck Where the honor rollers are, The high rollers, far above you You wanna know how long the ride is? Wanna know how far you've come If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you Love is not enough The seas are rough An open wound A bleeding heart How right you are The tea is strong, Like solid gold A needle's bond With no remorse, The tithes are gone Upright, Upright To end, to End That's right, I said Just end it I said “Better me than him” Another dinner with a friend A fear for framework, Or indifference again In this selection or Collection, Bears and end to End And End to end Upright And End to End Upright And End to end I dont know, if i want to know you I dont love like I want to love but I watched him raise the dead, Just so he had a friend I don't know if you've been told, but I don't love like I want to love, and I often raise the dead, Just so i can have a friend To play with It's darker in here, Oh, It's sufferable So I just want to know I live in a haunted house With a cat and a mouse But the old cat's gone, now the mouse tends to travel a lot I've nothing to haunt, (I'm a ghost in Toronto) A car show, A hollow heart, A starving artist, A scar; Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue So it goes: The stars on his face remind her of him So it goes: We all want Out of body Out of Mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Why (Why-Why) Would you leave me to wake (Why) In a terrible world Without you in it (A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck, It's very simple) I tried to settle on subtle saffron I tried to love you, Then I moved on Do you ever wonder about philosophy? Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you Secretly? Do you ever dream of it? (I'm just a ghost in a mansion) I haven't even had breakfast I've practically been dead half a century I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist What a bargain! You started it! I'm not arguing. I lost that bet, you know. Clearly. Is it that obvious? How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis? He lost the bet but won the race. Whatever that means Okay. Who the fuck wrote this. [No show of hands] Nobody?! Thats our GOD. That's your God. yes. I thought Beyonce was your God. That's what I just SAID. We must infiltrate. But how. That which binds up through time The chemical, physical and biological nature of love An exploration of the meaning of meaning 1st, Second, and Third Movement Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo And bagpipes! And my trumpet! That sounds more like a french horn Or a “Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten” Well, not entirely Impenetrable *stabs with sword* KRISTEN SHAAL Woah. MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever) Dang. TINA FEY (or whoever) (At least it wasn't me) Right. –all i'm sayin. Wait, who got stabbed? Whoever. Not Jimmy Fallon. No. His untimely death is later. How much later? I don't– __ Meanwhile Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you. Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me. So it's settled. $20 on Magic, please. Fair. Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where Yup. SHH. WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS. No, it isn't. What. I Came into blank street Tryna see a [?!] all coffee No cream please Scream supacree But really you can't see me Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard Feed me b Seymour Ain't tryna be gory Corey Hate to inform you I I'm stuck at the rock I'm stuck at the bottom Youre stuck at the top Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then! Work harder and more often Fuck love and whole foods cause they All Flashback music London … …. …… ………. Who else has seen this. Nobody, just us. We must burn this at once. I wholeheartedly agree. [Remarkably huge bonfire.] Did u make copies. ya . Ooh, that's cool. Very creative. Wow Nice. … … …. Have you seen this? No. Look at it. …ilikeit. Sensations of sadness Salacious arpeggios Arduous agressions Transitions– progressive Incendiary imagery Electric Synthesis Intentionally focused, configurative –Literally Skrillex. Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him. Just shoot the nigga. Ooh, he's so cute. Keep him away from me. C'mon. Yo–I can't. Fine, i'll do it. *sighs indifferently* You could move a mountain; I could stop the tide In a flash; All at once It was a long, long drive I miss the coast (Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine) You could move a mountain Keep me from going insane (If I was inside, you'd) Keep me from going outside (if I was in, though, you'd) Keep me from going in, Under the circumstances I can't stand it, but I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters Waiting for someone who Never shows up, so So Suffer no longer I wouldn't want to want you, if i wondered more about it At the surface, Or way under Nothing wants what nothing gets And noting gets nothing Anyways, so Here's for the abstract Stream of conscious Nothing moves mountains, but You could move mountains In a flash, and I turned the tide on I saw the tidal With my ghost And twelve apostles I've been waiting for Godot For so long I still think He might come Haha, what a charade We all are Huh I love you What was that? I've run off Huh I love you What was that? I've run off I finally fell out of love Look, I broke my own heart Sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I bite my lip, Fall into bed Maybe it's a hex Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment I've been waking up with someone, But going in the world alone, eh It's never run to remember where you've been After a binder You would think with so much in my system I'd have reached indifference, Well, didn't you I didn't yet, In fact, I'm still tying one one, With a friend At the moment Well perhaps, just perhaps, It might be time that I let you go then? Don't be so chauvinistic. Isn't this a barmitvah? Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions To no exact conclusions More Complications I could just FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER. He says it's a pluck, But i see it's percussive If I could give less of a fuck Then I probably coudn't. Woah How many wishes I've granted This festival season How many shifts that I've written through Sitting on busses and subways Looking suspicious as ever and probably smelling atrocious. INT. BLINK FITNESS. …I'm not using that shower. I thought I'd be more employable After sorting some, But it seems as though The more there is The more there isn't And the deeper it gets –the number of spirits I've risen Since getting here Is steady rising It's no surprise I've got more friends that died Than have lived here. It's been a very long year But I fucked it off quickly I'll never listen to Skrillex again If you paid me, But i'll play it In my mixes Depending Fuck it, There my brain went Down the drain again I've been training over a year And i'm still not Kayla fit I'm sick of it I've been waiting for Godot Since the year that I wrote it I've been wearing these bracelets for years Still haven't seen frozen, So i can't let it go yet Oh shit. This is all a distraction The underground is massive Another Michaelangelo Anglo Saxon anonymous I want an erroneous daughter Or Androgynous, Whatever These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors All I ever was, Was a disappointment I got a smile like Madonna's But none of the love at all I got a back end like Beyonce's But just some of the talent “What's an ass for If i'm cellibate, anyhow?” I asked God, She said, “Eat A Taco” I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that The older I get The straighter I am, And dammit He's sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I write books, And mind my own business It's impossible to whitewash all of us But I love rock and roll Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy. So?! SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION: I don't wanna do this. My heart's so broken I could hold it on chopsticks You ever wonder what love is I've forgotten I'm having a hard time holding it all in I'm an artist I've got colorful emotional troubles Others love it Lil biiiiiitttzzz Man, fuck new york. I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown– Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street: I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes And I see this like– Box of birds. No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box I'm like “what. Birds.” Not just birds, though, Colorful birds– Like, straight up parakeets. I'm like, “What. the fuck” Then, before I can even look up– This dude–I just see his leg, though, He just– kicks the box of birds. “what.” Like, towards me, and i'm like “Okay, alright.” Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan Adjacent to Trader Joes And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds, And he has this bowl So I look at the guy, And I look at the bowl, And what's in the bowl. IT'S MORE BIRDS. “OH NO!' I say. Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan “Oh no!” Cause it's not just a bowl of birds It's a bowl of PIGEONS. Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl. I'm like “Oh no.” And then i cross into trader joes. “Yep, right neighborhood.” Alright, here's the plan. where did you come from. nowhere. someone shoot that lady. DILLON FRANCIS I'm your worst nightmare. Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare. GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER. Oh, man. DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood. Try being famous over here! Motherfucker! More on that later. Look, I don't even like you like that! That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change. *hangs head* I'm am not ashamed. I just might watch porn in the morning. Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around. Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis. The one with brown eyes. He's the trustworthy one. Well good luck with that. (The one that doesn't exist.) I didn't take the train today; I thought I was going to jump Thought i'd better play it safe Filled up my shopping cart, Got everything I wanted Everything and more Might not look my best but At least I'm not gone Come on, six o clock I just want to be alone She's got the gift of gab Grew up two blocks from here In the ghetto I've heard it all before But love, my heart's so broken And you turn me on some I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector. That shit is like crack to me. Oh no. Who is this about. I'll give you one guess. I don't have any guesses. It's five past Christ I just opened my eyelids And rolled back my mind I tried to find you, after all, didn't I I might have designed you (On second thought I did) I might need time (if I believed in it) can't apologize for being human, but I wear your eyes all over the world I wear the memories of many girls And many nights Suffer the consequences Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering Wait, where was I again? I was almost, Almost a person There's so much to learn from And too much to learn here I've been fighting off demons, Fighting the feeling of Falling in love again But I can't fall in Cause I never fell out Afterward, I went past it And on to the next one I might double back though– To find that I hadn't quite left in the– To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place To find that we haven't quite met yet At least not the right way It's probably a lesson I might miss the lecture I've got other plans today Fuck, so it is Skrillex. Not really exactly. On second thought, at first glance Better illusion, than hypnotism But if I can't be like that Why be anything at all If not a model Or artist Brought it up at the wrong time (You would want her) I wasn't one for improper introductions Or impromptu arrangements There, there It's just getting better So better not whine about it I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood, Cause nobody loves me I've been alone, not lonely And never alone as long as I like Cause they all just surround me Now I know what it's like to be famous Without all the money and glamour– Turns out, that's the part that alluring I'd better find out what I did this for In the next downpour I'll be soaked to my torso exactly Aren't you proud of me (not really) I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options As time rolled on I got worse at making up stories As it turns out I didn't have to make them up at all They were happening to me So truly and honestly All my job was to “Mark My Words” Said The God Quite astonishing literally But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren I wouldn't bring it up, except The photographic evidence was damaging At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such Then again, —I've never even been on an album cover. There you have it I've been lusting over Several other Talented masters and Handsome disasters But matter of fact It just started with One random – Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences Since this, Random is just as likely as foreign a concept As such Immaculate conception, This contraption At first glance, a sonogram Play it back, Caught in the act again Cause in the act again I'll probably make a list of Weird shit I want to do with him When I think of it in public (That's usually where it happens) And if anything is random –It's that. ILLUMINATI DREAMS: PART III Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. That was cool. We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins— Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box. I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together— But he was over her and super loyal to me — It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob: Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend— Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob; I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend; So he broke it off with her— Sonny never woke up There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together. Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway. Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love. It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon. It felt warm and good. Lmfao wtf is wrong with you SOMETHING, obviously. It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but — A clock stops me in my tracks A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground I love the sparkles On Rockaway boulevard, Making it harder to ponder The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving The servicemen and servers of the surface Boughroughs further than Manhattan At the center lil biiiiiitzzzzs — Bro, I love the cops in New York All the cops in the east are bar none top notch I'm not kidding I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot I'm not joking I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking That's not even the worst part! the worst part was, they were looking back at me! All of em! I was like: “what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “ V.O. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry– So instead of running two miles on the treadmill I went three– But I still wanted to punch something. So I lifted some. I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running… But I don't care. I'd rather weighless, and have a man, Than keep lifting like this, And be a man. Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one. Sometimes, depending on the way I dress, I'm mistaken for one– Or at least– Give off an air of general confusion. But I don't mind. Not that much. I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like. It might take a bit of maintenance, But i'm determined to persist I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman. But maybe, if i'm lucky, or if I try hard enough, I'll have an idea of what it's like to have become one. I'm counting my blessings. All of them. I'm saying my prayers. A lot. And I'm crossing my fingers– that the longer, harder, and faster I run, The closer I get to actually living. That is, To be loved. I wish I could take my eyes out and wash them wit soap. Oh. I wish i didn't know you existed; I wish I Didn't know how to love you God, I spoke to soon I opened up all of the wrong doors, I'm done for, You know, I'm not really good at nothing Nothing at all I wish i didn't know at all You were ever born; But there you are, a son of God, And I'm just rolling along, writing anthems, and carrying on as if everything happened at once But it hasn't Not yet, I'm still breaking my neck on the alter If you want blood I've got it Jump the broom, But watch your heart I've got a dagger full of them; You'd think i had it backwards, But that's the hard part If it were the other way around Oh But it's not No I don't want to love anyone, anymore, God Take me off of this rock Throw me head first overboard Push me in front of a bus; Or give me a heart attack I've had it harder before, But that was over there, I'm omnipresent. I could write forever to this (Ten years ago) I put the book with the devil on front Into my row A collection of noveelties An erection, selective To say the least But please, forgive me I'm veen on my knees And barely breathing, Let it simmer, Simmer down please settle, way below the belt Above you and Beyond this, But I'll never firget what you said (i love you) I'll nevr forget what you said And I'll never look back, dad And I'll never go back ther And I'll neve have blue eyes And I'll never have blonde hair And I'll never have white skin And I'll never be better At least not at this partl But maybe the other I'm just friendless I like it My security blanket The party i wasnt invited to My lies are compulsive; But not quite pathological But the girl was obnoxious And my spirit tyrannical I'm an animal But I pray a lot And used to fast as much Now that Ive been determined to be an deplorable Why not just kill myself? I'd be better off after With a kitchen, a shower I'd forget about money; Getting paid by the hour. I'd be better off anyway I need a vacation It was all in my head, anyway Then again, so is heaven Amen A…men A…men… It's a dangerous game we play But i'd rather not kill myself over you (Again) I'd rather not kill myself again I'd rather not kill myself Could be a coincidence But I doubt it, Since I don't believe in them But I could be getting my lines crossed My rum mixed with vodka And getting my ass whooped more often That's not a metaphor: I'm not a fighter It was metaphysical before, But now its atrocious This night'll be a lot longer If i remain hungry But I wanna look like Madonna! (minus, of course, the minor difference between us) I hadn't understood what an age gap meant, Until jumping it (hardee har har, that's a good one) I'm not even in my body right now; But i'm in my head Shut up, Becky! Isn't it bad enough, Your society? Fuck, I'm losing my mind Just not being blonde enough Or just not being wanted, or something (Loved) Playing the victim, But hey, At least i'm playing something! All these instruments are just too expensive I was just thinking how Photosensitive epilepsy and synestesia Might be deadly But I said “till death do us part” So i think that's what I need I thought my suicide ended it Now I'm in hell with him But I'd end it over and over again Just to be rid of him (yes, i'm serious) Fuck, man, Madonna's gonna kill— For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide: The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow [An Inspiring Story] Had I exacted this science, For starters, On anyone else but A circle of stars, I forewarn you, I wouldn't be honored as such Just a disheartened philosopher, A nonpartisan biocentric; Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET. what. WE'RE STILL WAITING. huh? DRAKE BELL How long do i have to keep doing this for? ILLUMINATI Till the end DRAKE BELL Whens the end. ILLUMINATI When it is. Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment. *squinting* –and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky. *squinting even harder* –No… –No…(?) No. …No. Ugh! Try not to hold your breath. *holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.* I told you, I need this. *attempt to block telepathy had failed* You don't need anything. *squinting exactly alike* The eyes really are windows… Maybe I should jump out then. –or jump in. dayumm . sike . Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project. How much acid did you put in the water. Enough Fuck, I hate my life. Which bottle is it in. [beat] All of them. *facepalm* Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do. I wouldn't quite call it that. I would. Don't be gross. I'm you. You're gross. Touche. I don't think we should be doing this. We shouldn't be. Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp? Nice. He's like 100 years old. Ah, to be young again. So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady. Really fucking old. Like, how old, though. Really, really fucking old. Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess. [She dances by] *gasp* Is that her?! Yeus. She's young again! It appears she has procured a body! Presumably! I must do the same! At once! At one! Lol who are these dudes. Just wait for it. Hurmph. Nrh. *sigh of deep frustration, facepalm* *falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment* Oh good, they're here. Who's they? I don't know! Hm. Suhp. Nice rabbit hole. *shrugs nonscalontly* On telephone) She bought a what a Whole Foods Market? (In public, trying not to be heard) A penis shaped sweet potato. A WHAT? [Speak up] A– penis shaped sweet potato. A WH– A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO. (Everyone stops and stares) …it was delicious. Nice. I don't know Anymore What to do With myself I'm a mess On the Inside and out –wanna cry about it He's a rock and roll sex God I don't know What to think Anymore No, don't ask My opinion, It gets old Afterawhile, And after awhile I'll cry about it, but Right now, I've gotta get out of this Gotta get out! I gotta get out of this project. Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ? I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing. Ugh, what do you want. Listen, Ill make it quicK: It's bee quick. Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what. Or what. That's all I want to know. Know what? When? When what? [Stopping] Are you serious. What. If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it. MAybe it's not. Yeah, I wish. Hey! wishes get granted– –I said that. –You said that. Look– Don't touch me. Sorry. No you're not. –if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how. Oh, the “How” Yeah. You want the “How” Just–yes. If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How” Well, do you know how? You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. Well. Okay. “Okay”? I'm not a human being. Oh, right. UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN. Well, that's your grandmother, so Great-great– Whatever. You exist because she exists. Existed. She was dead before I was born! Actually, that's not true. Beg your pardon. …Ever had your palm read before. All of your kids– “kids “ Read: Lovechildren. Ahem. Are in this room And– Fuck that I'm not writing this scene, It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written. No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about, Is that so? No! It's funny but– But what? It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me. What is UP. What IS up? Have you ever thought about dating a writer? No. Aw, come on… Actually yes–once Once is all I need! Not you. Daww… I dated a writer once in college. What, really? Really. But that was in college. I was in college. He was a writer. Oh, that's hot. Not Exactly. He worked for Disney. Wait–he what? Hm. I almost forgot about that. DISNEY We didn't [simultaneously] MICKEY MOUSE I didn't. Well, what happened. Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was… Flashback: Wait, you're 17. SEVENTEEN?? What's th difference! A YEAR! *purses lips* …or like, a couple months… *face* …or like–midnight on your birthday! *squints* But not 17! *shrugs* Hollywood Is Hollywood. Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story What's “New Hollywood?” My level is indifference, Benevolence, inward violence Ending obsessions and arrangements, Incessant sexual repression, Exponential explanations –Of the world i've never lived in, but created, apparently. Now, i”m unhinged Haven't made a decision on whether I should just binger, or Find a new mister, Or end it I'm still sitting Stuck on ‘concentrical' Now I'm unhinged And it's just been a minute I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but I should stay clear, is it Everclear or Here, son, Just have another bottle Now i'm not stuck on Nothing and no one I cant even see movies anymore All i see is actors, All i hear is conversations I've already written in Closed conversations with critics Dressed as Angels All i see is Camera Angles The city of angels But my algorithm Must have build new york for me, From consciousness or something Sometimes just apartment hunting is Simply avigation and, of course Expanding the map It's just a 3D phenomenon, But all I want is just a hug, You know No you don't know. I've been stuck at concentrical Stopped at Columbus Circle, and The harsher the winter, The fonder of the west I am The girls scream in the audience, I hiss “My sentiments exactly” My sentiments exactly. Keep them all away from me, I'll love them at a distance I only want the music, anyway I only want the music And the music is All anyone knows about her, really Even her mother Who loves her, But at a distance And the music is, The only think she knows, anymore Even the words are just Color that accents it. Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af Right now is corny af. Yeah, i guess. LOOK AT THESE CREDITS: Oh my God. LOOK AT EM. OKAY, ALRIGHT. YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET. What's a “Foley editor” NOBODY. Well he's in the credits. Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck “A foley editor” What IS that. I don't know, Mr. Hollywood. Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood. Well, not literally– Of course not. Wait, is that a thing. If it was, would I be it? [Super Nerdy Writer] I mean, you'd at least be the poster child. Okay, my turn. HI THERE, FACE HERE. *inconsolable screaming* Holy shit, the 90's was RAW. Okay, so your childhood is terrifying. Just wait till we get to the *More inconsolable screaming* Lol. Look. What up bro. It's Juggalos. lol . After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string. Woah. Yeah. Do you think it's aliens Probably. Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know. Right. Lol. maybe you're the alien. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. We know you know where it is. I DO NOT. You're hiding it. HIDE! THAT THING?! So you do know what it is OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it. BRFORR Quick! HIde! OKay. THAT THING IS ENORMOUS. Hm. Smaller. OK. I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5 Seven Bananas… FUCK, MAN. What's this dumb game. *takes shot* it IS dumb. You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana. Oh no. This is fucked up. *barfs* You wanna play? Nah, I'm good. Diplo. What. You have 57 children. *nods* Never look at me again. *hangs head* Go that way, with your children. Dillon Francis. Yes. You have 8 kids. )That's believable) Oh, wow. *You have 84 kids. WHAT! He has more kids than me! Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black. Go say hello. Uhh. Now: Wait, where are you going. The the auditorium. There's an auditorium? For what. AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common. What the fuck. How does he have more kids than me?! Are you serious?! Whose kids are THESE. Mind your business. Let me guess. There's still busses pulling up. I know. And a helicopter! Oh, that's just the guest of honor. Are you serious. SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert. *landing on helipad* LOL OhGod. MEANWHRILE. Whats in here. NOTHING. Just GET IN THE BOX. NO. GET– NO IN THE BOX WElcome to Jack In The Box Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking? Uhhh. Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos. Eugh Extra squirt. Gross! And uh– You want anything. I'm good. Suit yourself. Best tacos ever. __ Wait, hold on. “Wait what” I think i might be getting tired, or something. Right…tired, “or something.” Or something. RIght. *blow horn* * * * * * * * Do you ever get lonely. No. Oh… But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed. Oh! Moving on. Watch this. *snipes* Nice. Now check it out, that's where she respawns. (from behind) Not always. Oh shit. *stop*camping* DOUBLE KILL. Nice. Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map. Would you shut up. You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment? …no. Too bad. You're hired. …hired for what. You applied on indeed, right? Yeah, as a janitor. NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor. What! Here's your camera. (it is a cheap disposable) Are you serious. You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon. Can't I just use my iPhone? Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed? …no. Then NO. … “The Bad Boys Of Hollywood” Prepare To Be Canceled the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness. I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. What's that? Shut up Don't ever look at me again. If i could take my eyes out, I would. No, need–I can do it for you. Haha, charade you are. You're a disaster. That's your excuse. Yeah, what's yours? Under the indifferential circumstances– “ooh–lala” I'm not as partial to making excuses as –as to what? Kissing ass? Only cute ones. Let it settle in, way down below deck Where the honor rollers are, The high rollers, far above you You wanna know how long the ride is? Wanna know how far you've come If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you Love is not enough The seas are rough An open wound A bleeding heart How right you are The tea is strong, Like solid gold A needle's bond With no remorse, The tithes are gone Upright, Upright To end, to End That's right, I said Just end it I said “Better me than him” Another dinner with a friend A fear for framework, Or indifference again In this selection or Collection, Bears and end to End And End to end Upright And End to End Upright And End to end I dont know, if i want to know you I dont love like I want to love but I watched him raise the dead, Just so he had a friend I don't know if you've been told, but I don't love like I want to love, and I often raise the dead, Just so i can have a friend To play with It's darker in here, Oh, It's sufferable So I just want to know I live in a haunted house With a cat and a mouse But the old cat's gone, now the mouse tends to travel a lot I've nothing to haunt, (I'm a ghost in Toronto) A car show, A hollow heart, A starving artist, A scar; Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue So it goes: The stars on his face remind her of him So it goes: We all want Out of body Out of Mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Why (Why-Why) Would you leave me to wake (Why) In a terrible world Without you in it (A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck, It's very simple) I tried to settle on subtle saffron I tried to love you, Then I moved on Do you ever wonder about philosophy? Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you Secretly? Do you ever dream of it? (I'm just a ghost in a mansion) I haven't even had breakfast I've practically been dead half a century I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist What a bargain! You started it! I'm not arguing. I lost that bet, you know. Clearly. Is it that obvious? How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis? He lost the bet but won the race. Whatever that means Okay. Who the fuck wrote this. [No show of hands] Nobody?! Thats our GOD. That's your God. yes. I thought Beyonce was your God. That's what I just SAID. We must infiltrate. But how. That which binds up through time The chemical, physical and biological nature of love An exploration of the meaning of meaning 1st, Second, and Third Movement Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo And bagpipes! And my trumpet! That sounds more like a french horn Or a Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten Well, not entirely Impenetrable *stabs with sword* KRISTEN SHAAL Woah. MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever) Dang. TINA FEY (or whoever) (At least it wasn't me) Right. –all i'm sayin. Wait, who got stabbed? Whoever. Not Jimmy Fallon. No. His untimely death is later. How much later? I don't– __ Meanwhile Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you. Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me. So it's settled. $20 on Magic, please. Fair. Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where Yup. SHH. WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS. No, it isn't. What. I Came into blank street Tryna see a [?!] all coffee No cream please Scream supacree But really you can't see me Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard Feed me b Seymour Ain't tryna be gory Corey Hate to inform you I I'm stuck at the rock I'm stuck at the bottom Youre stuck at the top Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then! Work harder and more often Fuck love and whole foods cause they All Flashback music London … …. …… ………. Who else has seen this. Nobody, just us. We must burn this at once. I wholeheartedly agree. [Remarkably huge bonfire.] Did u make copies. ya . Ooh, that's cool. Very creative. Wow Nice. … … …. Have you seen this? No. Look at it. …ilikeit. Sensations of sadness Salacious arpeggios Arduous agressions Transitions– progressive Incendiary imagery Electric Synthesis Intentionally focused, configurative –Literally Skrillex. Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him. Just shoot the nigga. Ooh, he's so cute. Keep him away from me. C'mon. Yo–I can't. Fine, i'll do it. *sighs indifferently* You could move a mountain; I could stop the tide In a flash; All at once It was a long, long drive I miss the coast (Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine) You could move a mountain Keep me from going insane (If I was inside, you'd) Keep me from going outside (if I was in, though, you'd) Keep me from going in, Under the circumstances I can't stand it, but I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters Waiting for someone who Never shows up, so So Suffer no longer I wouldn't want to want you, if i wondered more about it At the surface, Or way under Nothing wants what nothing gets And noting gets nothing Anyways, so Here's for the abstract Stream of conscious Nothing moves mountains, but You could move mountains In a flash, and I turned the tide on I saw the tidal With my ghost And twelve apostles I've been waiting for Godot For so long I still think He might come Haha, what a charade We all are Huh I love you What was that? I've run off Huh I love you What was that? I've run off I finally fell out of love Look, I broke my own heart Sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I bite my lip, Fall into bed Maybe it's a hex Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment I've been waking up with someone, But going in the world alone, eh It's never run to remember where you've been After a binder You would think with so much in my system I'd have reached indifference, Well, didn't you I didn't yet, In fact, I'm still tying one one, With a friend At the moment Well perhaps, just perhaps, It might be time that I let you go then? Don't be so chauvinistic. Isn't this a barmitvah? Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions To no exact conclusions More Complications I could just FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER. He says it's a pluck, But i see it's percussive If I could give less of a fuck Then I probably coudn't. Woah How many wishes I've granted This festival season How many shifts that I've written through Sitting on busses and subways Looking suspicious as ever and probably smelling atrocious. INT. BLINK FITNESS. …I'm not using that shower. I thought I'd be more employable After sorting some, But it seems as though The more there is The more there isn't And the deeper it gets –the number of spirits I've risen Since getting here Is steady rising It's no surprise I've got more friends that died Than have lived here. It's been a very long year But I fucked it off quickly I'll never listen to Skrillex again If you paid me, But i'll play it In my mixes Depending Fuck it, There my brain went Down the drain again I've been training over a year And i'm still not Kayla fit I'm sick of it I've been waiting for Godot Since the year that I wrote it I've been wearing these bracelets for years Still haven't seen frozen, So i can't let it go yet Oh shit. This is all a distraction The underground is massive Another Michaelangelo Anglo Saxon anonymous I want an erroneous daughter Or Androgynous, Whatever These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors All I ever was, Was a disappointment I got a smile like Madonna's But none of the love at all I got a back end like Beyonce's But just some of the talent “What's an ass for If i'm cellibate, anyhow?” I asked God, She said, “Eat A Taco” I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that The older I get The straighter I am, And dammit He's sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I write books, And mind my own business It's impossible to whitewash all of us But I love rock and roll Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy. So?! SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION: I don't wanna do this. My heart's so broken I could hold it on chopsticks You ever wonder what love is I've forgotten I'm having a hard time holding it all in I'm an artist I've got colorful emotional troubles Others love it Lil biiiiiitttzzz Man, fuck new york. I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown– Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street: I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes And I see this like– Box of birds. No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box I'm like “what. Birds.” Not just birds, though, Colorful birds– Like, straight up parakeets. I'm like, “What. the fuck” Then, before I can even look up– This dude–I just see his leg, though, He just– kicks the box of birds. “what.” Like, towards me, and i'm like “Okay, alright.” Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan Adjacent to Trader Joes And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds, And he has this bowl So I look at the guy, And I look at the bowl, And what's in the bowl. IT'S MORE BIRDS. “OH NO!' I say. Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan “Oh no!” Cause it's not just a bowl of birds It's a bowl of PIGEONS. Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl. I'm like “Oh no.” And then i cross into trader joes. “Yep, right neighborhood.” Alright, here's the plan. where did you come from. nowhere. someone shoot that lady. DILLON FRANCIS I'm your worst nightmare. Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare. GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER. Oh, man. DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood. Try being famous over here! Motherfucker! More on that later. Look, I don't even like you like that! That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change. *hangs head* I'm am not ashamed. I just might watch porn in the morning. Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around. Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis. The one with brown eyes. He's the trustworthy one. Well good luck with that. (The one that doesn't exist.) I didn't take the train today; I thought I was going to jump Thought i'd better play it safe Filled up my shopping cart, Got everything I wanted Everything and more Might not look my best but At least I'm not gone Come on, six o clock I just want to be alone She's got the gift of gab Grew up two blocks from here In the ghetto I've heard it all before But love, my heart's so broken And you turn me on some I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector. That shit is like crack to me. Oh no. Who is this about. I'll give you one guess. I don't have any guesses. It's five past Christ I just opened my eyelids And rolled back my mind I tried to find you, after all, didn't I I might have designed you (On second thought I did) I might need time (if I believed in it) can't apologize for being human, but I wear your eyes all over the world I wear the memories of many girls And many nights Suffer the consequences Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering Wait, where was I again? I was almost, Almost a person There's so much to learn from And too much to learn here I've been fighting off demons, Fighting the feeling of Falling in love again But I can't fall in Cause I never fell out Afterward, I went past it And on to the next one I might double back though– To find that I hadn't quite left in the– To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place To find that we haven't quite met yet At least not the right way It's probably a lesson I might miss the lecture I've got other plans today Fuck, so it is Skrillex. Not really exactly. On second thought, at first glance Better illusion, than hypnotism But if I can't be like that Why be anything at all If not a model Or artist Brought it up at the wrong time (You would want her) I wasn't one for improper introductions Or impromptu arrangements There, there It's just getting better So better not whine about it I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood, Cause nobody loves me I've been alone, not lonely And never alone as long as I like Cause they all just surround me Now I know what it's like to be famous Without all the money and glamour– Turns out, that's the part that alluring I'd better find out what I did this for In the next downpour I'll be soaked to my torso exactly Aren't you proud of me (not really) I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options As time rolled on I got worse at making up stories As it turns out I didn't have to make them up at all They were happening to me So truly and honestly All my job was to “Mark My Words” Said The God Quite astonishing literally But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren I wouldn't bring it up, except The photographic evidence was damaging At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such Then again, —I've never even been on an album cover. There you have it I've been lusting over Several other Talented masters and Handsome disasters But matter of fact It just started with One random – Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences Since this, Random is just as likely as foreign a concept As such Immaculate conception, This contraption At first glance, a sonogram Play it back, Caught in the act again Cause in the act again I'll probably make a list of Weird shit I want to do with him When I think of it in public (That's usually where it happens) And if anything is random –It's that. ILLUMINATI DREAMS: PART III Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. That was cool. We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins— Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box. I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together— But he was over her and super loyal to me — It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob: Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend— Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob; I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend; So he broke it off with her— Sonny never woke up There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together. Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway. Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love. It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon. It felt warm and good. Lmfao wtf is wrong with you SOMETHING, obviously. It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but — A clock stops me in my tracks A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground I love the sparkles On Rockaway boulevard, Making it harder to ponder The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving The servicemen and servers of the surface Boughroughs further than Manhattan At the center lil biiiiiitzzzzs — Bro, I love the cops in New York All the cops in the east are bar none top notch I'm not kidding I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot I'm not joking I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking That's not even the worst part! the worst part was, they were looking back at me! All of em! I was like: “what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “ V.O. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry– So instead of running two miles on the treadmill I went three– But I still wanted to punch something. So I lifted some. I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running… But I don't care. I'd rather weighless, and have a man, Than keep lifting like this, And be a man. Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one. Sometimes, depending on the way I dress, I'm mistaken for one– Or at least– Give off an air of general confusion. But I don't mind. Not that much. I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like. It might take a bit of maintenance, But i'm determined to persist I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman. But maybe, if i'm lu

For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide: The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow [An Inspiring Story] Had I exacted this science, For starters, On anyone else but A circle of stars, I forewarn you, I wouldn't be honored as such Just a disheartened philosopher, A nonpartisan biocentric; Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET. what. WE'RE STILL WAITING. huh? DRAKE BELL How long do i have to keep doing this for? ILLUMINATI Till the end DRAKE BELL Whens the end. ILLUMINATI When it is. Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment. *squinting* –and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky. *squinting even harder* –No… –No…(?) No. …No. Ugh! Try not to hold your breath. *holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.* I told you, I need this. *attempt to block telepathy had failed* You don't need anything. *squinting exactly alike* The eyes really are windows… Maybe I should jump out then. –or jump in. dayumm . sike . Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project. How much acid did you put in the water. Enough Fuck, I hate my life. Which bottle is it in. [beat] All of them. *facepalm* Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do. I wouldn't quite call it that. I would. Don't be gross. I'm you. You're gross. Touche. I don't think we should be doing this. We shouldn't be. Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp? Nice. He's like 100 years old. Ah, to be young again. So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady? Really fucking old. Like, how old, though. Really, really fucking old. Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess. [She dances by] *gasp* Is that her?! Yeus. She's young again! It appears she has procured a body! Presumably! I must do the same! At once! At one! Lol who are these dudes. Just wait for it. Hurmph. Nrh. *sigh of deep frustration, facepalm* *falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment* Oh good, they're here. Who's they? I don't know! Hm. Suhp. Nice rabbit hole. *shrugs nonscalontly* On telephone) She bought a what a Whole Foods Market? (In public, trying not to be heard) A penis shaped sweet potato. A WHAT? [Speak up] A– penis shaped sweet potato. A WH– A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO. (Everyone stops and stares) …it was delicious. Nice. I don't know Anymore What to do With myself I'm a mess On the Inside and out –wanna cry about it He's a rock and roll sex God I don't know What to think Anymore No, don't ask My opinion, It gets old Afterawhile, And after awhile I'll cry about it, but Right now, I've gotta get out of this Gotta get out! I gotta get out of this project. Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ? I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing. Ugh, what do you want. Listen, Ill make it quicK: It's bee quick. Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what. Or what. That's all I want to know. Know what? When? When what? [Stopping] Are you serious. What. If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it. MAybe it's not. Yeah, I wish. Hey! wishes get granted– –I said that. –You said that. Look– Don't touch me. Sorry. No you're not. –if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how. Oh, the “How” Yeah. You want the “How” Just–yes. If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How” Well, do you know how? You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. Well. Okay. “Okay”? I'm not a human being. Oh, right. UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN. Well, that's your grandmother, so Great-great– Whatever. You exist because she exists. Existed. She was dead before I was born! Actually, that's not true. Beg your pardon. …Ever had your palm read before. All of your kids– “kids “ Read: Lovechildren. Ahem. Are in this room And– Fuck that I'm not writing this scene, It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written. No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about, Is that so? No! It's funny but– But what? It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me. What is UP. What IS up? Have you ever thought about dating a writer? No. Aw, come on… Actually yes–once Once is all I need! Not you. Daww… I dated a writer once in college. What, really? Really. But that was in college. I was in college. He was a writer. Oh, that's hot. Not Exactly. He worked for Disney. Wait–he what? Hm. I almost forgot about that. DISNEY We didn't [simultaneously] MICKEY MOUSE I didn't. Well, what happened. Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was… Flashback: Wait, you're 17. SEVENTEEN?? What's th difference! A YEAR! *purses lips* …or like, a couple months… *face* …or like–midnight on your birthday! *squints* But not 17! *shrugs* Hollywood Is Hollywood. Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story What's “New Hollywood?” My level is indifference, Benevolence, inward violence Ending obsessions and arrangements, Incessant sexual repression, Exponential explanations –Of the world i've never lived in, but created, apparently. Now, i”m unhinged Haven't made a decision on whether I should just binger, or Find a new mister, Or end it I'm still sitting Stuck on ‘concentrical' Now I'm unhinged And it's just been a minute I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but I should stay clear, is it Everclear or Here, son, Just have another bottle Now i'm not stuck on Nothing and no one I cant even see movies anymore All i see is actors, All i hear is conversations I've already written in Closed conversations with critics Dressed as Angels All i see is Camera Angles The city of angels But my algorithm Must have build new york for me, From consciousness or something Sometimes just apartment hunting is Simply avigation and, of course Expanding the map It's just a 3D phenomenon, But all I want is just a hug, You know No you don't know. I've been stuck at concentrical Stopped at Columbus Circle, and The harsher the winter, The fonder of the west I am The girls scream in the audience, I hiss “My sentiments exactly” My sentiments exactly. Keep them all away from me, I'll love them at a distance I only want the music, anyway I only want the music And the music is All anyone knows about her, really Even her mother Who loves her, But at a distance And the music is, The only think she knows, anymore Even the words are just Color that accents it. Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af Right now is corny af. Yeah, i guess. LOOK AT THESE CREDITS: Oh my God. LOOK AT EM. OKAY, ALRIGHT. YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET. What's a “Foley editor” NOBODY. Well he's in the credits. Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck “A foley editor” What IS that. I don't know, Mr. Hollywood. Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood. Well, not literally– Of course not. Wait, is that a thing. If it was, would I be it? [Super Nerdy Writer] I mean, you'd at least be the poster child. Okay, my turn. HI THERE, FACE HERE. *inconsolable screaming* Holy shit, the 90's was RAW. Okay, so your childhood is terrifying. Just wait till we get to the *More inconsolable screaming* Lol. Look. What up bro. It's Juggalos. lol . After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string. Woah. Yeah. Do you think it's aliens Probably. Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know. Right. Lol. maybe you're the alien. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. We know you know where it is. I DO NOT. You're hiding it. HIDE! THAT THING?! So you do know what it is OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it. BRFORR Quick! HIde! OKay. THAT THING IS ENORMOUS. Hm. Smaller. OK. I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5 Seven Bananas… FUCK, MAN. What's this dumb game. *takes shot* it IS dumb. You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana. Oh no. This is fucked up. *barfs* You wanna play? Nah, I'm good. Diplo. What. You have 57 children. *nods* Never look at me again. *hangs head* Go that way, with your children. Dillon Francis. Yes. You have 8 kids. )That's believable) Oh, wow. *You have 84 kids. WHAT! He has more kids than me! Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black. Go say hello. Uhh. Now: Wait, where are you going. The the auditorium. There's an auditorium? For what. AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common. What the fuck. How does he have more kids than me?! Are you serious?! Whose kids are THESE. Mind your business. Let me guess. There's still busses pulling up. I know. And a helicopter! Oh, that's just the guest of honor. Are you serious. SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert. *landing on helipad* LOL OhGod. MEANWHRILE. Whats in here. NOTHING. Just GET IN THE BOX. NO. GET– NO IN THE BOX WElcome to Jack In The Box Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking? Uhhh. Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos. Eugh Extra squirt. Gross! And uh– You want anything. I'm good. Suit yourself. Best tacos ever. __ Wait, hold on. “Wait what” I think i might be getting tired, or something. Right…tired, “or something.” Or something. RIght. *blow horn* * * * * * * * Do you ever get lonely. No. Oh… But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed. Oh! Moving on. Watch this. *snipes* Nice. Now check it out, that's where she respawns. (from behind) Not always. Oh shit. *stop*camping* DOUBLE KILL. Nice. Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map. Would you shut up. You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment? …no. Too bad. You're hired. …hired for what. You applied on indeed, right? Yeah, as a janitor. NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor. What! Here's your camera. (it is a cheap disposable) Are you serious. You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon. Can't I just use my iPhone? Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed? …no. Then NO. … “The Bad Boys Of Hollywood” Prepare To Be Canceled the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness. I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. What's that? Shut up Don't ever look at me again. If i could take my eyes out, I would. No, need–I can do it for you. Haha, charade you are. You're a disaster. That's your excuse. Yeah, what's yours? Under the indifferential circumstances– “ooh–lala” I'm not as partial to making excuses as –as to what? Kissing ass? Only cute ones. Let it settle in, way down below deck Where the honor rollers are, The high rollers, far above you You wanna know how long the ride is? Wanna know how far you've come If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you Love is not enough The seas are rough An open wound A bleeding heart How right you are The tea is strong, Like solid gold A needle's bond With no remorse, The tithes are gone Upright, Upright To end, to End That's right, I said Just end it I said “Better me than him” Another dinner with a friend A fear for framework, Or indifference again In this selection or Collection, Bears and end to End And End to end Upright And End to End Upright And End to end I dont know, if i want to know you I dont love like I want to love but I watched him raise the dead, Just so he had a friend I don't know if you've been told, but I don't love like I want to love, and I often raise the dead, Just so i can have a friend To play with It's darker in here, Oh, It's sufferable So I just want to know I live in a haunted house With a cat and a mouse But the old cat's gone, now the mouse tends to travel a lot I've nothing to haunt, (I'm a ghost in Toronto) A car show, A hollow heart, A starving artist, A scar; Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue So it goes: The stars on his face remind her of him So it goes: We all want Out of body Out of Mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Why (Why-Why) Would you leave me to wake (Why) In a terrible world Without you in it (A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck, It's very simple) I tried to settle on subtle saffron I tried to love you, Then I moved on Do you ever wonder about philosophy? Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you Secretly? Do you ever dream of it? (I'm just a ghost in a mansion) I haven't even had breakfast I've practically been dead half a century I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist What a bargain! You started it! I'm not arguing. I lost that bet, you know. Clearly. Is it that obvious? How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis? He lost the bet but won the race. Whatever that means Okay. Who the fuck wrote this. [No show of hands] Nobody?! Thats our GOD. That's your God. yes. I thought Beyonce was your God. That's what I just SAID. We must infiltrate. But how. That which binds up through time The chemical, physical and biological nature of love An exploration of the meaning of meaning 1st, Second, and Third Movement Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo And bagpipes! And my trumpet! That sounds more like a french horn Or a “Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten” Well, not entirely Impenetrable *stabs with sword* KRISTEN SHAAL Woah. MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever) Dang. TINA FEY (or whoever) (At least it wasn't me) Right. –all i'm sayin. Wait, who got stabbed? Whoever. Not Jimmy Fallon. No. His untimely death is later. How much later? I don't– __ Meanwhile Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you. Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me. So it's settled. $20 on Magic, please. Fair. Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where Yup. SHH. WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS. No, it isn't. What. I Came into blank street Tryna see a [?!] all coffee No cream please Scream supacree But really you can't see me Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard Feed me b Seymour Ain't tryna be gory Corey Hate to inform you I I'm stuck at the rock I'm stuck at the bottom Youre stuck at the top Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then! Work harder and more often Fuck love and whole foods cause they All Flashback music London … …. …… ………. Who else has seen this. Nobody, just us. We must burn this at once. I wholeheartedly agree. [Remarkably huge bonfire.] Did u make copies. ya . Ooh, that's cool. Very creative. Wow Nice. … … …. Have you seen this? No. Look at it. …ilikeit. Sensations of sadness Salacious arpeggios Arduous agressions Transitions– progressive Incendiary imagery Electric Synthesis Intentionally focused, configurative –Literally Skrillex. Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him. Just shoot the nigga. Ooh, he's so cute. Keep him away from me. C'mon. Yo–I can't. Fine, i'll do it. *sighs indifferently* You could move a mountain; I could stop the tide In a flash; All at once It was a long, long drive I miss the coast (Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine) You could move a mountain Keep me from going insane (If I was inside, you'd) Keep me from going outside (if I was in, though, you'd) Keep me from going in, Under the circumstances I can't stand it, but I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters Waiting for someone who Never shows up, so So Suffer no longer I wouldn't want to want you, if i wondered more about it At the surface, Or way under Nothing wants what nothing gets And noting gets nothing Anyways, so Here's for the abstract Stream of conscious Nothing moves mountains, but You could move mountains In a flash, and I turned the tide on I saw the tidal With my ghost And twelve apostles I've been waiting for Godot For so long I still think He might come Haha, what a charade We all are Huh I love you What was that? I've run off Huh I love you What was that? I've run off I finally fell out of love Look, I broke my own heart Sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I bite my lip, Fall into bed Maybe it's a hex Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment I've been waking up with someone, But going in the world alone, eh It's never run to remember where you've been After a binder You would think with so much in my system I'd have reached indifference, Well, didn't you I didn't yet, In fact, I'm still tying one one, With a friend At the moment Well perhaps, just perhaps, It might be time that I let you go then? Don't be so chauvinistic. Isn't this a barmitvah? Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions To no exact conclusions More Complications I could just FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER. He says it's a pluck, But i see it's percussive If I could give less of a fuck Then I probably coudn't. Woah How many wishes I've granted This festival season How many shifts that I've written through Sitting on busses and subways Looking suspicious as ever and probably smelling atrocious. INT. BLINK FITNESS. …I'm not using that shower. I thought I'd be more employable After sorting some, But it seems as though The more there is The more there isn't And the deeper it gets –the number of spirits I've risen Since getting here Is steady rising It's no surprise I've got more friends that died Than have lived here. It's been a very long year But I fucked it off quickly I'll never listen to Skrillex again If you paid me, But i'll play it In my mixes Depending Fuck it, There my brain went Down the drain again I've been training over a year And i'm still not Kayla fit I'm sick of it I've been waiting for Godot Since the year that I wrote it I've been wearing these bracelets for years Still haven't seen frozen, So i can't let it go yet Oh shit. This is all a distraction The underground is massive Another Michaelangelo Anglo Saxon anonymous I want an erroneous daughter Or Androgynous, Whatever These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors All I ever was, Was a disappointment I got a smile like Madonna's But none of the love at all I got a back end like Beyonce's But just some of the talent “What's an ass for If i'm cellibate, anyhow?” I asked God, She said, “Eat A Taco” I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that The older I get The straighter I am, And dammit He's sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I write books, And mind my own business It's impossible to whitewash all of us But I love rock and roll Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy. So?! SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION: I don't wanna do this. My heart's so broken I could hold it on chopsticks You ever wonder what love is I've forgotten I'm having a hard time holding it all in I'm an artist I've got colorful emotional troubles Others love it Lil biiiiiitttzzz Man, fuck new york. I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown– Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street: I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes And I see this like– Box of birds. No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box I'm like “what. Birds.” Not just birds, though, Colorful birds– Like, straight up parakeets. I'm like, “What. the fuck” Then, before I can even look up– This dude–I just see his leg, though, He just– kicks the box of birds. “what.” Like, towards me, and i'm like “Okay, alright.” Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan Adjacent to Trader Joes And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds, And he has this bowl So I look at the guy, And I look at the bowl, And what's in the bowl. IT'S MORE BIRDS. “OH NO!' I say. Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan “Oh no!” Cause it's not just a bowl of birds It's a bowl of PIGEONS. Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl. I'm like “Oh no.” And then i cross into trader joes. “Yep, right neighborhood.” Alright, here's the plan. where did you come from. nowhere. someone shoot that lady. DILLON FRANCIS I'm your worst nightmare. Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare. GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER. Oh, man. DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood. Try being famous over here! Motherfucker! More on that later. Look, I don't even like you like that! That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change. *hangs head* I'm am not ashamed. I just might watch porn in the morning. Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around. Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis. The one with brown eyes. He's the trustworthy one. Well good luck with that. (The one that doesn't exist.) I didn't take the train today; I thought I was going to jump Thought i'd better play it safe Filled up my shopping cart, Got everything I wanted Everything and more Might not look my best but At least I'm not gone Come on, six o clock I just want to be alone She's got the gift of gab Grew up two blocks from here In the ghetto I've heard it all before But love, my heart's so broken And you turn me on some I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector. That shit is like crack to me. Oh no. Who is this about. I'll give you one guess. I don't have any guesses. It's five past Christ I just opened my eyelids And rolled back my mind I tried to find you, after all, didn't I I might have designed you (On second thought I did) I might need time (if I believed in it) can't apologize for being human, but I wear your eyes all over the world I wear the memories of many girls And many nights Suffer the consequences Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering Wait, where was I again? I was almost, Almost a person There's so much to learn from And too much to learn here I've been fighting off demons, Fighting the feeling of Falling in love again But I can't fall in Cause I never fell out Afterward, I went past it And on to the next one I might double back though– To find that I hadn't quite left in the– To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place To find that we haven't quite met yet At least not the right way It's probably a lesson I might miss the lecture I've got other plans today Fuck, so it is Skrillex. Not really exactly. On second thought, at first glance Better illusion, than hypnotism But if I can't be like that Why be anything at all If not a model Or artist Brought it up at the wrong time (You would want her) I wasn't one for improper introductions Or impromptu arrangements There, there It's just getting better So better not whine about it I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood, Cause nobody loves me I've been alone, not lonely And never alone as long as I like Cause they all just surround me Now I know what it's like to be famous Without all the money and glamour– Turns out, that's the part that alluring I'd better find out what I did this for In the next downpour I'll be soaked to my torso exactly Aren't you proud of me (not really) I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options As time rolled on I got worse at making up stories As it turns out I didn't have to make them up at all They were happening to me So truly and honestly All my job was to “Mark My Words” Said The God Quite astonishing literally But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren I wouldn't bring it up, except The photographic evidence was damaging At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such Then again, —I've never even been on an album cover. There you have it I've been lusting over Several other Talented masters and Handsome disasters But matter of fact It just started with One random – Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences Since this, Random is just as likely as foreign a concept As such Immaculate conception, This contraption At first glance, a sonogram Play it back, Caught in the act again Cause in the act again I'll probably make a list of Weird shit I want to do with him When I think of it in public (That's usually where it happens) And if anything is random –It's that. ILLUMINATI DREAMS: PART III Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. That was cool. We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins— Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box. I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together— But he was over her and super loyal to me — It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob: Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend— Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob; I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend; So he broke it off with her— Sonny never woke up There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together. Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway. Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love. It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon. It felt warm and good. Lmfao wtf is wrong with you SOMETHING, obviously. It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but — A clock stops me in my tracks A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground I love the sparkles On Rockaway boulevard, Making it harder to ponder The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving The servicemen and servers of the surface Boughroughs further than Manhattan At the center lil biiiiiitzzzzs — Bro, I love the cops in New York All the cops in the east are bar none top notch I'm not kidding I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot I'm not joking I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking That's not even the worst part! the worst part was, they were looking back at me! All of em! I was like: “what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “ V.O. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry– So instead of running two miles on the treadmill I went three– But I still wanted to punch something. So I lifted some. I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running… But I don't care. I'd rather weighless, and have a man, Than keep lifting like this, And be a man. Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one. Sometimes, depending on the way I dress, I'm mistaken for one– Or at least– Give off an air of general confusion. But I don't mind. Not that much. I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like. It might take a bit of maintenance, But i'm determined to persist I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman. But maybe, if i'm lucky, or if I try hard enough, I'll have an idea of what it's like to have become one. I'm counting my blessings. All of them. I'm saying my prayers. A lot. And I'm crossing my fingers– that the longer, harder, and faster I run, The closer I get to actually living. That is, To be loved. I wish I could take my eyes out and wash them wit soap. Oh. I wish i didn't know you existed; I wish I Didn't know how to love you God, I spoke to soon I opened up all of the wrong doors, I'm done for, You know, I'm not really good at nothing Nothing at all I wish i didn't know at all You were ever born; But there you are, a son of God, And I'm just rolling along, writing anthems, and carrying on as if everything happened at once But it hasn't Not yet, I'm still breaking my neck on the alter If you want blood I've got it Jump the broom, But watch your heart I've got a dagger full of them; You'd think i had it backwards, But that's the hard part If it were the other way around Oh But it's not No I don't want to love anyone, anymore, God Take me off of this rock Throw me head first overboard Push me in front of a bus; Or give me a heart attack I've had it harder before, But that was over there, I'm omnipresent. I could write forever to this (Ten years ago) I put the book with the devil on front Into my row A collection of noveelties An erection, selective To say the least But please, forgive me I'm veen on my knees And barely breathing, Let it simmer, Simmer down please settle, way below the belt Above you and Beyond this, But I'll never firget what you said (i love you) I'll nevr forget what you said And I'll never look back, dad And I'll never go back ther And I'll neve have blue eyes And I'll never have blonde hair And I'll never have white skin And I'll never be better At least not at this partl But maybe the other I'm just friendless I like it My security blanket The party i wasnt invited to My lies are compulsive; But not quite pathological But the girl was obnoxious And my spirit tyrannical I'm an animal But I pray a lot And used to fast as much Now that Ive been determined to be an deplorable Why not just kill myself? I'd be better off after With a kitchen, a shower I'd forget about money; Getting paid by the hour. I'd be better off anyway I need a vacation It was all in my head, anyway Then again, so is heaven Amen A…men A…men… It's a dangerous game we play But i'd rather not kill myself over you (Again) I'd rather not kill myself again I'd rather not kill myself Could be a coincidence But I doubt it, Since I don't believe in them But I could be getting my lines crossed My rum mixed with vodka And getting my ass whooped more often That's not a metaphor: I'm not a fighter It was metaphysical before, But now its atrocious This night'll be a lot longer If i remain hungry But I wanna look like Madonna! (minus, of course, the minor difference between us) I hadn't understood what an age gap meant, Until jumping it (hardee har har, that's a good one) I'm not even in my body right now; But i'm in my head Shut up, Becky! Isn't it bad enough, Your society? Fuck, I'm losing my mind Just not being blonde enough Or just not being wanted, or something (Loved) Playing the victim, But hey, At least i'm playing something! All these instruments are just too expensive I was just thinking how Photosensitive epilepsy and synestesia Might be deadly But I said “till death do us part” So i think that's what I need I thought my suicide ended it Now I'm in hell with him But I'd end it over and over again Just to be rid of him (yes, i'm serious) Fuck, man, Madonna's gonna kill— For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide: The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow [An Inspiring Story] Had I exacted this science, For starters, On anyone else but A circle of stars, I forewarn you, I wouldn't be honored as such Just a disheartened philosopher, A nonpartisan biocentric; Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET. what. WE'RE STILL WAITING. huh? DRAKE BELL How long do i have to keep doing this for? ILLUMINATI Till the end DRAKE BELL Whens the end. ILLUMINATI When it is. Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment. *squinting* –and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky. *squinting even harder* –No… –No…(?) No. …No. Ugh! Try not to hold your breath. *holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.* I told you, I need this. *attempt to block telepathy had failed* You don't need anything. *squinting exactly alike* The eyes really are windows… Maybe I should jump out then. –or jump in. dayumm . sike . Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project. How much acid did you put in the water. Enough Fuck, I hate my life. Which bottle is it in. [beat] All of them. *facepalm* Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do. I wouldn't quite call it that. I would. Don't be gross. I'm you. You're gross. Touche. I don't think we should be doing this. We shouldn't be. Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp? Nice. He's like 100 years old. Ah, to be young again. So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady. Really fucking old. Like, how old, though. Really, really fucking old. Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess. [She dances by] *gasp* Is that her?! Yeus. She's young again! It appears she has procured a body! Presumably! I must do the same! At once! At one! Lol who are these dudes. Just wait for it. Hurmph. Nrh. *sigh of deep frustration, facepalm* *falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment* Oh good, they're here. Who's they? I don't know! Hm. Suhp. Nice rabbit hole. *shrugs nonscalontly* On telephone) She bought a what a Whole Foods Market? (In public, trying not to be heard) A penis shaped sweet potato. A WHAT? [Speak up] A– penis shaped sweet potato. A WH– A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO. (Everyone stops and stares) …it was delicious. Nice. I don't know Anymore What to do With myself I'm a mess On the Inside and out –wanna cry about it He's a rock and roll sex God I don't know What to think Anymore No, don't ask My opinion, It gets old Afterawhile, And after awhile I'll cry about it, but Right now, I've gotta get out of this Gotta get out! I gotta get out of this project. Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ? I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing. Ugh, what do you want. Listen, Ill make it quicK: It's bee quick. Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what. Or what. That's all I want to know. Know what? When? When what? [Stopping] Are you serious. What. If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it. MAybe it's not. Yeah, I wish. Hey! wishes get granted– –I said that. –You said that. Look– Don't touch me. Sorry. No you're not. –if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how. Oh, the “How” Yeah. You want the “How” Just–yes. If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How” Well, do you know how? You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. Well. Okay. “Okay”? I'm not a human being. Oh, right. UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN. Well, that's your grandmother, so Great-great– Whatever. You exist because she exists. Existed. She was dead before I was born! Actually, that's not true. Beg your pardon. …Ever had your palm read before. All of your kids– “kids “ Read: Lovechildren. Ahem. Are in this room And– Fuck that I'm not writing this scene, It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written. No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about, Is that so? No! It's funny but– But what? It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me. What is UP. What IS up? Have you ever thought about dating a writer? No. Aw, come on… Actually yes–once Once is all I need! Not you. Daww… I dated a writer once in college. What, really? Really. But that was in college. I was in college. He was a writer. Oh, that's hot. Not Exactly. He worked for Disney. Wait–he what? Hm. I almost forgot about that. DISNEY We didn't [simultaneously] MICKEY MOUSE I didn't. Well, what happened. Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was… Flashback: Wait, you're 17. SEVENTEEN?? What's th difference! A YEAR! *purses lips* …or like, a couple months… *face* …or like–midnight on your birthday! *squints* But not 17! *shrugs* Hollywood Is Hollywood. Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story What's “New Hollywood?” My level is indifference, Benevolence, inward violence Ending obsessions and arrangements, Incessant sexual repression, Exponential explanations –Of the world i've never lived in, but created, apparently. Now, i”m unhinged Haven't made a decision on whether I should just binger, or Find a new mister, Or end it I'm still sitting Stuck on ‘concentrical' Now I'm unhinged And it's just been a minute I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but I should stay clear, is it Everclear or Here, son, Just have another bottle Now i'm not stuck on Nothing and no one I cant even see movies anymore All i see is actors, All i hear is conversations I've already written in Closed conversations with critics Dressed as Angels All i see is Camera Angles The city of angels But my algorithm Must have build new york for me, From consciousness or something Sometimes just apartment hunting is Simply avigation and, of course Expanding the map It's just a 3D phenomenon, But all I want is just a hug, You know No you don't know. I've been stuck at concentrical Stopped at Columbus Circle, and The harsher the winter, The fonder of the west I am The girls scream in the audience, I hiss “My sentiments exactly” My sentiments exactly. Keep them all away from me, I'll love them at a distance I only want the music, anyway I only want the music And the music is All anyone knows about her, really Even her mother Who loves her, But at a distance And the music is, The only think she knows, anymore Even the words are just Color that accents it. Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af Right now is corny af. Yeah, i guess. LOOK AT THESE CREDITS: Oh my God. LOOK AT EM. OKAY, ALRIGHT. YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET. What's a “Foley editor” NOBODY. Well he's in the credits. Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck “A foley editor” What IS that. I don't know, Mr. Hollywood. Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood. Well, not literally– Of course not. Wait, is that a thing. If it was, would I be it? [Super Nerdy Writer] I mean, you'd at least be the poster child. Okay, my turn. HI THERE, FACE HERE. *inconsolable screaming* Holy shit, the 90's was RAW. Okay, so your childhood is terrifying. Just wait till we get to the *More inconsolable screaming* Lol. Look. What up bro. It's Juggalos. lol . After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string. Woah. Yeah. Do you think it's aliens Probably. Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know. Right. Lol. maybe you're the alien. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. We know you know where it is. I DO NOT. You're hiding it. HIDE! THAT THING?! So you do know what it is OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it. BRFORR Quick! HIde! OKay. THAT THING IS ENORMOUS. Hm. Smaller. OK. I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5 Seven Bananas… FUCK, MAN. What's this dumb game. *takes shot* it IS dumb. You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana. Oh no. This is fucked up. *barfs* You wanna play? Nah, I'm good. Diplo. What. You have 57 children. *nods* Never look at me again. *hangs head* Go that way, with your children. Dillon Francis. Yes. You have 8 kids. )That's believable) Oh, wow. *You have 84 kids. WHAT! He has more kids than me! Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black. Go say hello. Uhh. Now: Wait, where are you going. The the auditorium. There's an auditorium? For what. AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common. What the fuck. How does he have more kids than me?! Are you serious?! Whose kids are THESE. Mind your business. Let me guess. There's still busses pulling up. I know. And a helicopter! Oh, that's just the guest of honor. Are you serious. SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert. *landing on helipad* LOL OhGod. MEANWHRILE. Whats in here. NOTHING. Just GET IN THE BOX. NO. GET– NO IN THE BOX WElcome to Jack In The Box Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking? Uhhh. Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos. Eugh Extra squirt. Gross! And uh– You want anything. I'm good. Suit yourself. Best tacos ever. __ Wait, hold on. “Wait what” I think i might be getting tired, or something. Right…tired, “or something.” Or something. RIght. *blow horn* * * * * * * * Do you ever get lonely. No. Oh… But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed. Oh! Moving on. Watch this. *snipes* Nice. Now check it out, that's where she respawns. (from behind) Not always. Oh shit. *stop*camping* DOUBLE KILL. Nice. Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map. Would you shut up. You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment? …no. Too bad. You're hired. …hired for what. You applied on indeed, right? Yeah, as a janitor. NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor. What! Here's your camera. (it is a cheap disposable) Are you serious. You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon. Can't I just use my iPhone? Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed? …no. Then NO. … “The Bad Boys Of Hollywood” Prepare To Be Canceled the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness. I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. What's that? Shut up Don't ever look at me again. If i could take my eyes out, I would. No, need–I can do it for you. Haha, charade you are. You're a disaster. That's your excuse. Yeah, what's yours? Under the indifferential circumstances– “ooh–lala” I'm not as partial to making excuses as –as to what? Kissing ass? Only cute ones. Let it settle in, way down below deck Where the honor rollers are, The high rollers, far above you You wanna know how long the ride is? Wanna know how far you've come If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you Love is not enough The seas are rough An open wound A bleeding heart How right you are The tea is strong, Like solid gold A needle's bond With no remorse, The tithes are gone Upright, Upright To end, to End That's right, I said Just end it I said “Better me than him” Another dinner with a friend A fear for framework, Or indifference again In this selection or Collection, Bears and end to End And End to end Upright And End to End Upright And End to end I dont know, if i want to know you I dont love like I want to love but I watched him raise the dead, Just so he had a friend I don't know if you've been told, but I don't love like I want to love, and I often raise the dead, Just so i can have a friend To play with It's darker in here, Oh, It's sufferable So I just want to know I live in a haunted house With a cat and a mouse But the old cat's gone, now the mouse tends to travel a lot I've nothing to haunt, (I'm a ghost in Toronto) A car show, A hollow heart, A starving artist, A scar; Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue So it goes: The stars on his face remind her of him So it goes: We all want Out of body Out of Mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Why (Why-Why) Would you leave me to wake (Why) In a terrible world Without you in it (A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck, It's very simple) I tried to settle on subtle saffron I tried to love you, Then I moved on Do you ever wonder about philosophy? Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you Secretly? Do you ever dream of it? (I'm just a ghost in a mansion) I haven't even had breakfast I've practically been dead half a century I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist What a bargain! You started it! I'm not arguing. I lost that bet, you know. Clearly. Is it that obvious? How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis? He lost the bet but won the race. Whatever that means Okay. Who the fuck wrote this. [No show of hands] Nobody?! Thats our GOD. That's your God. yes. I thought Beyonce was your God. That's what I just SAID. We must infiltrate. But how. That which binds up through time The chemical, physical and biological nature of love An exploration of the meaning of meaning 1st, Second, and Third Movement Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo And bagpipes! And my trumpet! That sounds more like a french horn Or a Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten Well, not entirely Impenetrable *stabs with sword* KRISTEN SHAAL Woah. MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever) Dang. TINA FEY (or whoever) (At least it wasn't me) Right. –all i'm sayin. Wait, who got stabbed? Whoever. Not Jimmy Fallon. No. His untimely death is later. How much later? I don't– __ Meanwhile Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you. Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me. So it's settled. $20 on Magic, please. Fair. Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where Yup. SHH. WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS. No, it isn't. What. I Came into blank street Tryna see a [?!] all coffee No cream please Scream supacree But really you can't see me Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard Feed me b Seymour Ain't tryna be gory Corey Hate to inform you I I'm stuck at the rock I'm stuck at the bottom Youre stuck at the top Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then! Work harder and more often Fuck love and whole foods cause they All Flashback music London … …. …… ………. Who else has seen this. Nobody, just us. We must burn this at once. I wholeheartedly agree. [Remarkably huge bonfire.] Did u make copies. ya . Ooh, that's cool. Very creative. Wow Nice. … … …. Have you seen this? No. Look at it. …ilikeit. Sensations of sadness Salacious arpeggios Arduous agressions Transitions– progressive Incendiary imagery Electric Synthesis Intentionally focused, configurative –Literally Skrillex. Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him. Just shoot the nigga. Ooh, he's so cute. Keep him away from me. C'mon. Yo–I can't. Fine, i'll do it. *sighs indifferently* You could move a mountain; I could stop the tide In a flash; All at once It was a long, long drive I miss the coast (Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine) You could move a mountain Keep me from going insane (If I was inside, you'd) Keep me from going outside (if I was in, though, you'd) Keep me from going in, Under the circumstances I can't stand it, but I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters Waiting for someone who Never shows up, so So Suffer no longer I wouldn't want to want you, if i wondered more about it At the surface, Or way under Nothing wants what nothing gets And noting gets nothing Anyways, so Here's for the abstract Stream of conscious Nothing moves mountains, but You could move mountains In a flash, and I turned the tide on I saw the tidal With my ghost And twelve apostles I've been waiting for Godot For so long I still think He might come Haha, what a charade We all are Huh I love you What was that? I've run off Huh I love you What was that? I've run off I finally fell out of love Look, I broke my own heart Sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I bite my lip, Fall into bed Maybe it's a hex Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment I've been waking up with someone, But going in the world alone, eh It's never run to remember where you've been After a binder You would think with so much in my system I'd have reached indifference, Well, didn't you I didn't yet, In fact, I'm still tying one one, With a friend At the moment Well perhaps, just perhaps, It might be time that I let you go then? Don't be so chauvinistic. Isn't this a barmitvah? Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions To no exact conclusions More Complications I could just FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER. He says it's a pluck, But i see it's percussive If I could give less of a fuck Then I probably coudn't. Woah How many wishes I've granted This festival season How many shifts that I've written through Sitting on busses and subways Looking suspicious as ever and probably smelling atrocious. INT. BLINK FITNESS. …I'm not using that shower. I thought I'd be more employable After sorting some, But it seems as though The more there is The more there isn't And the deeper it gets –the number of spirits I've risen Since getting here Is steady rising It's no surprise I've got more friends that died Than have lived here. It's been a very long year But I fucked it off quickly I'll never listen to Skrillex again If you paid me, But i'll play it In my mixes Depending Fuck it, There my brain went Down the drain again I've been training over a year And i'm still not Kayla fit I'm sick of it I've been waiting for Godot Since the year that I wrote it I've been wearing these bracelets for years Still haven't seen frozen, So i can't let it go yet Oh shit. This is all a distraction The underground is massive Another Michaelangelo Anglo Saxon anonymous I want an erroneous daughter Or Androgynous, Whatever These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors All I ever was, Was a disappointment I got a smile like Madonna's But none of the love at all I got a back end like Beyonce's But just some of the talent “What's an ass for If i'm cellibate, anyhow?” I asked God, She said, “Eat A Taco” I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that The older I get The straighter I am, And dammit He's sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I write books, And mind my own business It's impossible to whitewash all of us But I love rock and roll Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy. So?! SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION: I don't wanna do this. My heart's so broken I could hold it on chopsticks You ever wonder what love is I've forgotten I'm having a hard time holding it all in I'm an artist I've got colorful emotional troubles Others love it Lil biiiiiitttzzz Man, fuck new york. I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown– Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street: I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes And I see this like– Box of birds. No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box I'm like “what. Birds.” Not just birds, though, Colorful birds– Like, straight up parakeets. I'm like, “What. the fuck” Then, before I can even look up– This dude–I just see his leg, though, He just– kicks the box of birds. “what.” Like, towards me, and i'm like “Okay, alright.” Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan Adjacent to Trader Joes And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds, And he has this bowl So I look at the guy, And I look at the bowl, And what's in the bowl. IT'S MORE BIRDS. “OH NO!' I say. Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan “Oh no!” Cause it's not just a bowl of birds It's a bowl of PIGEONS. Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl. I'm like “Oh no.” And then i cross into trader joes. “Yep, right neighborhood.” Alright, here's the plan. where did you come from. nowhere. someone shoot that lady. DILLON FRANCIS I'm your worst nightmare. Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare. GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER. Oh, man. DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood. Try being famous over here! Motherfucker! More on that later. Look, I don't even like you like that! That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change. *hangs head* I'm am not ashamed. I just might watch porn in the morning. Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around. Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis. The one with brown eyes. He's the trustworthy one. Well good luck with that. (The one that doesn't exist.) I didn't take the train today; I thought I was going to jump Thought i'd better play it safe Filled up my shopping cart, Got everything I wanted Everything and more Might not look my best but At least I'm not gone Come on, six o clock I just want to be alone She's got the gift of gab Grew up two blocks from here In the ghetto I've heard it all before But love, my heart's so broken And you turn me on some I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector. That shit is like crack to me. Oh no. Who is this about. I'll give you one guess. I don't have any guesses. It's five past Christ I just opened my eyelids And rolled back my mind I tried to find you, after all, didn't I I might have designed you (On second thought I did) I might need time (if I believed in it) can't apologize for being human, but I wear your eyes all over the world I wear the memories of many girls And many nights Suffer the consequences Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering Wait, where was I again? I was almost, Almost a person There's so much to learn from And too much to learn here I've been fighting off demons, Fighting the feeling of Falling in love again But I can't fall in Cause I never fell out Afterward, I went past it And on to the next one I might double back though– To find that I hadn't quite left in the– To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place To find that we haven't quite met yet At least not the right way It's probably a lesson I might miss the lecture I've got other plans today Fuck, so it is Skrillex. Not really exactly. On second thought, at first glance Better illusion, than hypnotism But if I can't be like that Why be anything at all If not a model Or artist Brought it up at the wrong time (You would want her) I wasn't one for improper introductions Or impromptu arrangements There, there It's just getting better So better not whine about it I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood, Cause nobody loves me I've been alone, not lonely And never alone as long as I like Cause they all just surround me Now I know what it's like to be famous Without all the money and glamour– Turns out, that's the part that alluring I'd better find out what I did this for In the next downpour I'll be soaked to my torso exactly Aren't you proud of me (not really) I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options As time rolled on I got worse at making up stories As it turns out I didn't have to make them up at all They were happening to me So truly and honestly All my job was to “Mark My Words” Said The God Quite astonishing literally But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren I wouldn't bring it up, except The photographic evidence was damaging At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such Then again, —I've never even been on an album cover. There you have it I've been lusting over Several other Talented masters and Handsome disasters But matter of fact It just started with One random – Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences Since this, Random is just as likely as foreign a concept As such Immaculate conception, This contraption At first glance, a sonogram Play it back, Caught in the act again Cause in the act again I'll probably make a list of Weird shit I want to do with him When I think of it in public (That's usually where it happens) And if anything is random –It's that. ILLUMINATI DREAMS: PART III Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. That was cool. We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins— Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box. I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together— But he was over her and super loyal to me — It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob: Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend— Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob; I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend; So he broke it off with her— Sonny never woke up There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together. Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway. Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love. It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon. It felt warm and good. Lmfao wtf is wrong with you SOMETHING, obviously. It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but — A clock stops me in my tracks A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground I love the sparkles On Rockaway boulevard, Making it harder to ponder The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving The servicemen and servers of the surface Boughroughs further than Manhattan At the center lil biiiiiitzzzzs — Bro, I love the cops in New York All the cops in the east are bar none top notch I'm not kidding I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot I'm not joking I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking That's not even the worst part! the worst part was, they were looking back at me! All of em! I was like: “what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “ V.O. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry– So instead of running two miles on the treadmill I went three– But I still wanted to punch something. So I lifted some. I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running… But I don't care. I'd rather weighless, and have a man, Than keep lifting like this, And be a man. Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one. Sometimes, depending on the way I dress, I'm mistaken for one– Or at least– Give off an air of general confusion. But I don't mind. Not that much. I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like. It might take a bit of maintenance, But i'm determined to persist I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman. But maybe, if i'm lu

For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide: The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow [An Inspiring Story] Had I exacted this science, For starters, On anyone else but A circle of stars, I forewarn you, I wouldn't be honored as such Just a disheartened philosopher, A nonpartisan biocentric; Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET. what. WE'RE STILL WAITING. huh? DRAKE BELL How long do i have to keep doing this for? ILLUMINATI Till the end DRAKE BELL Whens the end. ILLUMINATI When it is. Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment. *squinting* –and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky. *squinting even harder* –No… –No…(?) No. …No. Ugh! Try not to hold your breath. *holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.* I told you, I need this. *attempt to block telepathy had failed* You don't need anything. *squinting exactly alike* The eyes really are windows… Maybe I should jump out then. –or jump in. dayumm . sike . Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project. How much acid did you put in the water. Enough Fuck, I hate my life. Which bottle is it in. [beat] All of them. *facepalm* Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do. I wouldn't quite call it that. I would. Don't be gross. I'm you. You're gross. Touche. I don't think we should be doing this. We shouldn't be. Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp? Nice. He's like 100 years old. Ah, to be young again. So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady? Really fucking old. Like, how old, though. Really, really fucking old. Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess. [She dances by] *gasp* Is that her?! Yeus. She's young again! It appears she has procured a body! Presumably! I must do the same! At once! At one! Lol who are these dudes. Just wait for it. Hurmph. Nrh. *sigh of deep frustration, facepalm* *falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment* Oh good, they're here. Who's they? I don't know! Hm. Suhp. Nice rabbit hole. *shrugs nonscalontly* On telephone) She bought a what a Whole Foods Market? (In public, trying not to be heard) A penis shaped sweet potato. A WHAT? [Speak up] A– penis shaped sweet potato. A WH– A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO. (Everyone stops and stares) …it was delicious. Nice. I don't know Anymore What to do With myself I'm a mess On the Inside and out –wanna cry about it He's a rock and roll sex God I don't know What to think Anymore No, don't ask My opinion, It gets old Afterawhile, And after awhile I'll cry about it, but Right now, I've gotta get out of this Gotta get out! I gotta get out of this project. Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ? I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing. Ugh, what do you want. Listen, Ill make it quicK: It's bee quick. Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what. Or what. That's all I want to know. Know what? When? When what? [Stopping] Are you serious. What. If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it. MAybe it's not. Yeah, I wish. Hey! wishes get granted– –I said that. –You said that. Look– Don't touch me. Sorry. No you're not. –if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how. Oh, the “How” Yeah. You want the “How” Just–yes. If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How” Well, do you know how? You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. Well. Okay. “Okay”? I'm not a human being. Oh, right. UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN. Well, that's your grandmother, so Great-great– Whatever. You exist because she exists. Existed. She was dead before I was born! Actually, that's not true. Beg your pardon. …Ever had your palm read before. All of your kids– “kids “ Read: Lovechildren. Ahem. Are in this room And– Fuck that I'm not writing this scene, It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written. No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about, Is that so? No! It's funny but– But what? It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me. What is UP. What IS up? Have you ever thought about dating a writer? No. Aw, come on… Actually yes–once Once is all I need! Not you. Daww… I dated a writer once in college. What, really? Really. But that was in college. I was in college. He was a writer. Oh, that's hot. Not Exactly. He worked for Disney. Wait–he what? Hm. I almost forgot about that. DISNEY We didn't [simultaneously] MICKEY MOUSE I didn't. Well, what happened. Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was… Flashback: Wait, you're 17. SEVENTEEN?? What's th difference! A YEAR! *purses lips* …or like, a couple months… *face* …or like–midnight on your birthday! *squints* But not 17! *shrugs* Hollywood Is Hollywood. Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story What's “New Hollywood?” My level is indifference, Benevolence, inward violence Ending obsessions and arrangements, Incessant sexual repression, Exponential explanations –Of the world i've never lived in, but created, apparently. Now, i”m unhinged Haven't made a decision on whether I should just binger, or Find a new mister, Or end it I'm still sitting Stuck on ‘concentrical' Now I'm unhinged And it's just been a minute I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but I should stay clear, is it Everclear or Here, son, Just have another bottle Now i'm not stuck on Nothing and no one I cant even see movies anymore All i see is actors, All i hear is conversations I've already written in Closed conversations with critics Dressed as Angels All i see is Camera Angles The city of angels But my algorithm Must have build new york for me, From consciousness or something Sometimes just apartment hunting is Simply avigation and, of course Expanding the map It's just a 3D phenomenon, But all I want is just a hug, You know No you don't know. I've been stuck at concentrical Stopped at Columbus Circle, and The harsher the winter, The fonder of the west I am The girls scream in the audience, I hiss “My sentiments exactly” My sentiments exactly. Keep them all away from me, I'll love them at a distance I only want the music, anyway I only want the music And the music is All anyone knows about her, really Even her mother Who loves her, But at a distance And the music is, The only think she knows, anymore Even the words are just Color that accents it. Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af Right now is corny af. Yeah, i guess. LOOK AT THESE CREDITS: Oh my God. LOOK AT EM. OKAY, ALRIGHT. YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET. What's a “Foley editor” NOBODY. Well he's in the credits. Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck “A foley editor” What IS that. I don't know, Mr. Hollywood. Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood. Well, not literally– Of course not. Wait, is that a thing. If it was, would I be it? [Super Nerdy Writer] I mean, you'd at least be the poster child. Okay, my turn. HI THERE, FACE HERE. *inconsolable screaming* Holy shit, the 90's was RAW. Okay, so your childhood is terrifying. Just wait till we get to the *More inconsolable screaming* Lol. Look. What up bro. It's Juggalos. lol . After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string. Woah. Yeah. Do you think it's aliens Probably. Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know. Right. Lol. maybe you're the alien. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. We know you know where it is. I DO NOT. You're hiding it. HIDE! THAT THING?! So you do know what it is OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it. BRFORR Quick! HIde! OKay. THAT THING IS ENORMOUS. Hm. Smaller. OK. I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5 Seven Bananas… FUCK, MAN. What's this dumb game. *takes shot* it IS dumb. You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana. Oh no. This is fucked up. *barfs* You wanna play? Nah, I'm good. Diplo. What. You have 57 children. *nods* Never look at me again. *hangs head* Go that way, with your children. Dillon Francis. Yes. You have 8 kids. )That's believable) Oh, wow. *You have 84 kids. WHAT! He has more kids than me! Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black. Go say hello. Uhh. Now: Wait, where are you going. The the auditorium. There's an auditorium? For what. AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common. What the fuck. How does he have more kids than me?! Are you serious?! Whose kids are THESE. Mind your business. Let me guess. There's still busses pulling up. I know. And a helicopter! Oh, that's just the guest of honor. Are you serious. SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert. *landing on helipad* LOL OhGod. MEANWHRILE. Whats in here. NOTHING. Just GET IN THE BOX. NO. GET– NO IN THE BOX WElcome to Jack In The Box Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking? Uhhh. Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos. Eugh Extra squirt. Gross! And uh– You want anything. I'm good. Suit yourself. Best tacos ever. __ Wait, hold on. “Wait what” I think i might be getting tired, or something. Right…tired, “or something.” Or something. RIght. *blow horn* * * * * * * * Do you ever get lonely. No. Oh… But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed. Oh! Moving on. Watch this. *snipes* Nice. Now check it out, that's where she respawns. (from behind) Not always. Oh shit. *stop*camping* DOUBLE KILL. Nice. Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map. Would you shut up. You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment? …no. Too bad. You're hired. …hired for what. You applied on indeed, right? Yeah, as a janitor. NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor. What! Here's your camera. (it is a cheap disposable) Are you serious. You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon. Can't I just use my iPhone? Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed? …no. Then NO. … “The Bad Boys Of Hollywood” Prepare To Be Canceled the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness. I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. What's that? Shut up Don't ever look at me again. If i could take my eyes out, I would. No, need–I can do it for you. Haha, charade you are. You're a disaster. That's your excuse. Yeah, what's yours? Under the indifferential circumstances– “ooh–lala” I'm not as partial to making excuses as –as to what? Kissing ass? Only cute ones. Let it settle in, way down below deck Where the honor rollers are, The high rollers, far above you You wanna know how long the ride is? Wanna know how far you've come If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you Love is not enough The seas are rough An open wound A bleeding heart How right you are The tea is strong, Like solid gold A needle's bond With no remorse, The tithes are gone Upright, Upright To end, to End That's right, I said Just end it I said “Better me than him” Another dinner with a friend A fear for framework, Or indifference again In this selection or Collection, Bears and end to End And End to end Upright And End to End Upright And End to end I dont know, if i want to know you I dont love like I want to love but I watched him raise the dead, Just so he had a friend I don't know if you've been told, but I don't love like I want to love, and I often raise the dead, Just so i can have a friend To play with It's darker in here, Oh, It's sufferable So I just want to know I live in a haunted house With a cat and a mouse But the old cat's gone, now the mouse tends to travel a lot I've nothing to haunt, (I'm a ghost in Toronto) A car show, A hollow heart, A starving artist, A scar; Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue So it goes: The stars on his face remind her of him So it goes: We all want Out of body Out of Mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Why (Why-Why) Would you leave me to wake (Why) In a terrible world Without you in it (A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck, It's very simple) I tried to settle on subtle saffron I tried to love you, Then I moved on Do you ever wonder about philosophy? Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you Secretly? Do you ever dream of it? (I'm just a ghost in a mansion) I haven't even had breakfast I've practically been dead half a century I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist What a bargain! You started it! I'm not arguing. I lost that bet, you know. Clearly. Is it that obvious? How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis? He lost the bet but won the race. Whatever that means Okay. Who the fuck wrote this. [No show of hands] Nobody?! Thats our GOD. That's your God. yes. I thought Beyonce was your God. That's what I just SAID. We must infiltrate. But how. That which binds up through time The chemical, physical and biological nature of love An exploration of the meaning of meaning 1st, Second, and Third Movement Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo And bagpipes! And my trumpet! That sounds more like a french horn Or a “Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten” Well, not entirely Impenetrable *stabs with sword* KRISTEN SHAAL Woah. MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever) Dang. TINA FEY (or whoever) (At least it wasn't me) Right. –all i'm sayin. Wait, who got stabbed? Whoever. Not Jimmy Fallon. No. His untimely death is later. How much later? I don't– __ Meanwhile Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you. Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me. So it's settled. $20 on Magic, please. Fair. Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where Yup. SHH. WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS. No, it isn't. What. I Came into blank street Tryna see a [?!] all coffee No cream please Scream supacree But really you can't see me Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard Feed me b Seymour Ain't tryna be gory Corey Hate to inform you I I'm stuck at the rock I'm stuck at the bottom Youre stuck at the top Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then! Work harder and more often Fuck love and whole foods cause they All Flashback music London … …. …… ………. Who else has seen this. Nobody, just us. We must burn this at once. I wholeheartedly agree. [Remarkably huge bonfire.] Did u make copies. ya . Ooh, that's cool. Very creative. Wow Nice. … … …. Have you seen this? No. Look at it. …ilikeit. Sensations of sadness Salacious arpeggios Arduous agressions Transitions– progressive Incendiary imagery Electric Synthesis Intentionally focused, configurative –Literally Skrillex. Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him. Just shoot the nigga. Ooh, he's so cute. Keep him away from me. C'mon. Yo–I can't. Fine, i'll do it. *sighs indifferently* You could move a mountain; I could stop the tide In a flash; All at once It was a long, long drive I miss the coast (Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine) You could move a mountain Keep me from going insane (If I was inside, you'd) Keep me from going outside (if I was in, though, you'd) Keep me from going in, Under the circumstances I can't stand it, but I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters Waiting for someone who Never shows up, so So Suffer no longer I wouldn't want to want you, if i wondered more about it At the surface, Or way under Nothing wants what nothing gets And noting gets nothing Anyways, so Here's for the abstract Stream of conscious Nothing moves mountains, but You could move mountains In a flash, and I turned the tide on I saw the tidal With my ghost And twelve apostles I've been waiting for Godot For so long I still think He might come Haha, what a charade We all are Huh I love you What was that? I've run off Huh I love you What was that? I've run off I finally fell out of love Look, I broke my own heart Sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I bite my lip, Fall into bed Maybe it's a hex Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment I've been waking up with someone, But going in the world alone, eh It's never run to remember where you've been After a binder You would think with so much in my system I'd have reached indifference, Well, didn't you I didn't yet, In fact, I'm still tying one one, With a friend At the moment Well perhaps, just perhaps, It might be time that I let you go then? Don't be so chauvinistic. Isn't this a barmitvah? Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions To no exact conclusions More Complications I could just FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER. He says it's a pluck, But i see it's percussive If I could give less of a fuck Then I probably coudn't. Woah How many wishes I've granted This festival season How many shifts that I've written through Sitting on busses and subways Looking suspicious as ever and probably smelling atrocious. INT. BLINK FITNESS. …I'm not using that shower. I thought I'd be more employable After sorting some, But it seems as though The more there is The more there isn't And the deeper it gets –the number of spirits I've risen Since getting here Is steady rising It's no surprise I've got more friends that died Than have lived here. It's been a very long year But I fucked it off quickly I'll never listen to Skrillex again If you paid me, But i'll play it In my mixes Depending Fuck it, There my brain went Down the drain again I've been training over a year And i'm still not Kayla fit I'm sick of it I've been waiting for Godot Since the year that I wrote it I've been wearing these bracelets for years Still haven't seen frozen, So i can't let it go yet Oh shit. This is all a distraction The underground is massive Another Michaelangelo Anglo Saxon anonymous I want an erroneous daughter Or Androgynous, Whatever These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors All I ever was, Was a disappointment I got a smile like Madonna's But none of the love at all I got a back end like Beyonce's But just some of the talent “What's an ass for If i'm cellibate, anyhow?” I asked God, She said, “Eat A Taco” I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that The older I get The straighter I am, And dammit He's sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I write books, And mind my own business It's impossible to whitewash all of us But I love rock and roll Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy. So?! SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION: I don't wanna do this. My heart's so broken I could hold it on chopsticks You ever wonder what love is I've forgotten I'm having a hard time holding it all in I'm an artist I've got colorful emotional troubles Others love it Lil biiiiiitttzzz Man, fuck new york. I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown– Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street: I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes And I see this like– Box of birds. No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box I'm like “what. Birds.” Not just birds, though, Colorful birds– Like, straight up parakeets. I'm like, “What. the fuck” Then, before I can even look up– This dude–I just see his leg, though, He just– kicks the box of birds. “what.” Like, towards me, and i'm like “Okay, alright.” Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan Adjacent to Trader Joes And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds, And he has this bowl So I look at the guy, And I look at the bowl, And what's in the bowl. IT'S MORE BIRDS. “OH NO!' I say. Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan “Oh no!” Cause it's not just a bowl of birds It's a bowl of PIGEONS. Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl. I'm like “Oh no.” And then i cross into trader joes. “Yep, right neighborhood.” Alright, here's the plan. where did you come from. nowhere. someone shoot that lady. DILLON FRANCIS I'm your worst nightmare. Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare. GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER. Oh, man. DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood. Try being famous over here! Motherfucker! More on that later. Look, I don't even like you like that! That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change. *hangs head* I'm am not ashamed. I just might watch porn in the morning. Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around. Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis. The one with brown eyes. He's the trustworthy one. Well good luck with that. (The one that doesn't exist.) I didn't take the train today; I thought I was going to jump Thought i'd better play it safe Filled up my shopping cart, Got everything I wanted Everything and more Might not look my best but At least I'm not gone Come on, six o clock I just want to be alone She's got the gift of gab Grew up two blocks from here In the ghetto I've heard it all before But love, my heart's so broken And you turn me on some I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector. That shit is like crack to me. Oh no. Who is this about. I'll give you one guess. I don't have any guesses. It's five past Christ I just opened my eyelids And rolled back my mind I tried to find you, after all, didn't I I might have designed you (On second thought I did) I might need time (if I believed in it) can't apologize for being human, but I wear your eyes all over the world I wear the memories of many girls And many nights Suffer the consequences Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering Wait, where was I again? I was almost, Almost a person There's so much to learn from And too much to learn here I've been fighting off demons, Fighting the feeling of Falling in love again But I can't fall in Cause I never fell out Afterward, I went past it And on to the next one I might double back though– To find that I hadn't quite left in the– To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place To find that we haven't quite met yet At least not the right way It's probably a lesson I might miss the lecture I've got other plans today Fuck, so it is Skrillex. Not really exactly. On second thought, at first glance Better illusion, than hypnotism But if I can't be like that Why be anything at all If not a model Or artist Brought it up at the wrong time (You would want her) I wasn't one for improper introductions Or impromptu arrangements There, there It's just getting better So better not whine about it I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood, Cause nobody loves me I've been alone, not lonely And never alone as long as I like Cause they all just surround me Now I know what it's like to be famous Without all the money and glamour– Turns out, that's the part that alluring I'd better find out what I did this for In the next downpour I'll be soaked to my torso exactly Aren't you proud of me (not really) I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options As time rolled on I got worse at making up stories As it turns out I didn't have to make them up at all They were happening to me So truly and honestly All my job was to “Mark My Words” Said The God Quite astonishing literally But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren I wouldn't bring it up, except The photographic evidence was damaging At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such Then again, —I've never even been on an album cover. There you have it I've been lusting over Several other Talented masters and Handsome disasters But matter of fact It just started with One random – Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences Since this, Random is just as likely as foreign a concept As such Immaculate conception, This contraption At first glance, a sonogram Play it back, Caught in the act again Cause in the act again I'll probably make a list of Weird shit I want to do with him When I think of it in public (That's usually where it happens) And if anything is random –It's that. ILLUMINATI DREAMS: PART III Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. That was cool. We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins— Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box. I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together— But he was over her and super loyal to me — It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob: Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend— Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob; I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend; So he broke it off with her— Sonny never woke up There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together. Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway. Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love. It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon. It felt warm and good. Lmfao wtf is wrong with you SOMETHING, obviously. It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but — A clock stops me in my tracks A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground I love the sparkles On Rockaway boulevard, Making it harder to ponder The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving The servicemen and servers of the surface Boughroughs further than Manhattan At the center lil biiiiiitzzzzs — Bro, I love the cops in New York All the cops in the east are bar none top notch I'm not kidding I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot I'm not joking I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking That's not even the worst part! the worst part was, they were looking back at me! All of em! I was like: “what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “ V.O. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry– So instead of running two miles on the treadmill I went three– But I still wanted to punch something. So I lifted some. I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running… But I don't care. I'd rather weighless, and have a man, Than keep lifting like this, And be a man. Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one. Sometimes, depending on the way I dress, I'm mistaken for one– Or at least– Give off an air of general confusion. But I don't mind. Not that much. I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like. It might take a bit of maintenance, But i'm determined to persist I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman. But maybe, if i'm lucky, or if I try hard enough, I'll have an idea of what it's like to have become one. I'm counting my blessings. All of them. I'm saying my prayers. A lot. And I'm crossing my fingers– that the longer, harder, and faster I run, The closer I get to actually living. That is, To be loved. I wish I could take my eyes out and wash them wit soap. Oh. I wish i didn't know you existed; I wish I Didn't know how to love you God, I spoke to soon I opened up all of the wrong doors, I'm done for, You know, I'm not really good at nothing Nothing at all I wish i didn't know at all You were ever born; But there you are, a son of God, And I'm just rolling along, writing anthems, and carrying on as if everything happened at once But it hasn't Not yet, I'm still breaking my neck on the alter If you want blood I've got it Jump the broom, But watch your heart I've got a dagger full of them; You'd think i had it backwards, But that's the hard part If it were the other way around Oh But it's not No I don't want to love anyone, anymore, God Take me off of this rock Throw me head first overboard Push me in front of a bus; Or give me a heart attack I've had it harder before, But that was over there, I'm omnipresent. I could write forever to this (Ten years ago) I put the book with the devil on front Into my row A collection of noveelties An erection, selective To say the least But please, forgive me I'm veen on my knees And barely breathing, Let it simmer, Simmer down please settle, way below the belt Above you and Beyond this, But I'll never firget what you said (i love you) I'll nevr forget what you said And I'll never look back, dad And I'll never go back ther And I'll neve have blue eyes And I'll never have blonde hair And I'll never have white skin And I'll never be better At least not at this partl But maybe the other I'm just friendless I like it My security blanket The party i wasnt invited to My lies are compulsive; But not quite pathological But the girl was obnoxious And my spirit tyrannical I'm an animal But I pray a lot And used to fast as much Now that Ive been determined to be an deplorable Why not just kill myself? I'd be better off after With a kitchen, a shower I'd forget about money; Getting paid by the hour. I'd be better off anyway I need a vacation It was all in my head, anyway Then again, so is heaven Amen A…men A…men… It's a dangerous game we play But i'd rather not kill myself over you (Again) I'd rather not kill myself again I'd rather not kill myself Could be a coincidence But I doubt it, Since I don't believe in them But I could be getting my lines crossed My rum mixed with vodka And getting my ass whooped more often That's not a metaphor: I'm not a fighter It was metaphysical before, But now its atrocious This night'll be a lot longer If i remain hungry But I wanna look like Madonna! (minus, of course, the minor difference between us) I hadn't understood what an age gap meant, Until jumping it (hardee har har, that's a good one) I'm not even in my body right now; But i'm in my head Shut up, Becky! Isn't it bad enough, Your society? Fuck, I'm losing my mind Just not being blonde enough Or just not being wanted, or something (Loved) Playing the victim, But hey, At least i'm playing something! All these instruments are just too expensive I was just thinking how Photosensitive epilepsy and synestesia Might be deadly But I said “till death do us part” So i think that's what I need I thought my suicide ended it Now I'm in hell with him But I'd end it over and over again Just to be rid of him (yes, i'm serious) Fuck, man, Madonna's gonna kill— For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide: The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow [An Inspiring Story] Had I exacted this science, For starters, On anyone else but A circle of stars, I forewarn you, I wouldn't be honored as such Just a disheartened philosopher, A nonpartisan biocentric; Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET. what. WE'RE STILL WAITING. huh? DRAKE BELL How long do i have to keep doing this for? ILLUMINATI Till the end DRAKE BELL Whens the end. ILLUMINATI When it is. Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment. *squinting* –and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky. *squinting even harder* –No… –No…(?) No. …No. Ugh! Try not to hold your breath. *holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.* I told you, I need this. *attempt to block telepathy had failed* You don't need anything. *squinting exactly alike* The eyes really are windows… Maybe I should jump out then. –or jump in. dayumm . sike . Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project. How much acid did you put in the water. Enough Fuck, I hate my life. Which bottle is it in. [beat] All of them. *facepalm* Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do. I wouldn't quite call it that. I would. Don't be gross. I'm you. You're gross. Touche. I don't think we should be doing this. We shouldn't be. Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp? Nice. He's like 100 years old. Ah, to be young again. So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady. Really fucking old. Like, how old, though. Really, really fucking old. Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess. [She dances by] *gasp* Is that her?! Yeus. She's young again! It appears she has procured a body! Presumably! I must do the same! At once! At one! Lol who are these dudes. Just wait for it. Hurmph. Nrh. *sigh of deep frustration, facepalm* *falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment* Oh good, they're here. Who's they? I don't know! Hm. Suhp. Nice rabbit hole. *shrugs nonscalontly* On telephone) She bought a what a Whole Foods Market? (In public, trying not to be heard) A penis shaped sweet potato. A WHAT? [Speak up] A– penis shaped sweet potato. A WH– A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO. (Everyone stops and stares) …it was delicious. Nice. I don't know Anymore What to do With myself I'm a mess On the Inside and out –wanna cry about it He's a rock and roll sex God I don't know What to think Anymore No, don't ask My opinion, It gets old Afterawhile, And after awhile I'll cry about it, but Right now, I've gotta get out of this Gotta get out! I gotta get out of this project. Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ? I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing. Ugh, what do you want. Listen, Ill make it quicK: It's bee quick. Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what. Or what. That's all I want to know. Know what? When? When what? [Stopping] Are you serious. What. If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it. MAybe it's not. Yeah, I wish. Hey! wishes get granted– –I said that. –You said that. Look– Don't touch me. Sorry. No you're not. –if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how. Oh, the “How” Yeah. You want the “How” Just–yes. If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How” Well, do you know how? You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. Well. Okay. “Okay”? I'm not a human being. Oh, right. UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN. Well, that's your grandmother, so Great-great– Whatever. You exist because she exists. Existed. She was dead before I was born! Actually, that's not true. Beg your pardon. …Ever had your palm read before. All of your kids– “kids “ Read: Lovechildren. Ahem. Are in this room And– Fuck that I'm not writing this scene, It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written. No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about, Is that so? No! It's funny but– But what? It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me. What is UP. What IS up? Have you ever thought about dating a writer? No. Aw, come on… Actually yes–once Once is all I need! Not you. Daww… I dated a writer once in college. What, really? Really. But that was in college. I was in college. He was a writer. Oh, that's hot. Not Exactly. He worked for Disney. Wait–he what? Hm. I almost forgot about that. DISNEY We didn't [simultaneously] MICKEY MOUSE I didn't. Well, what happened. Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was… Flashback: Wait, you're 17. SEVENTEEN?? What's th difference! A YEAR! *purses lips* …or like, a couple months… *face* …or like–midnight on your birthday! *squints* But not 17! *shrugs* Hollywood Is Hollywood. Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story What's “New Hollywood?” My level is indifference, Benevolence, inward violence Ending obsessions and arrangements, Incessant sexual repression, Exponential explanations –Of the world i've never lived in, but created, apparently. Now, i”m unhinged Haven't made a decision on whether I should just binger, or Find a new mister, Or end it I'm still sitting Stuck on ‘concentrical' Now I'm unhinged And it's just been a minute I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but I should stay clear, is it Everclear or Here, son, Just have another bottle Now i'm not stuck on Nothing and no one I cant even see movies anymore All i see is actors, All i hear is conversations I've already written in Closed conversations with critics Dressed as Angels All i see is Camera Angles The city of angels But my algorithm Must have build new york for me, From consciousness or something Sometimes just apartment hunting is Simply avigation and, of course Expanding the map It's just a 3D phenomenon, But all I want is just a hug, You know No you don't know. I've been stuck at concentrical Stopped at Columbus Circle, and The harsher the winter, The fonder of the west I am The girls scream in the audience, I hiss “My sentiments exactly” My sentiments exactly. Keep them all away from me, I'll love them at a distance I only want the music, anyway I only want the music And the music is All anyone knows about her, really Even her mother Who loves her, But at a distance And the music is, The only think she knows, anymore Even the words are just Color that accents it. Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af Right now is corny af. Yeah, i guess. LOOK AT THESE CREDITS: Oh my God. LOOK AT EM. OKAY, ALRIGHT. YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET. What's a “Foley editor” NOBODY. Well he's in the credits. Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck “A foley editor” What IS that. I don't know, Mr. Hollywood. Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood. Well, not literally– Of course not. Wait, is that a thing. If it was, would I be it? [Super Nerdy Writer] I mean, you'd at least be the poster child. Okay, my turn. HI THERE, FACE HERE. *inconsolable screaming* Holy shit, the 90's was RAW. Okay, so your childhood is terrifying. Just wait till we get to the *More inconsolable screaming* Lol. Look. What up bro. It's Juggalos. lol . After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string. Woah. Yeah. Do you think it's aliens Probably. Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know. Right. Lol. maybe you're the alien. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. We know you know where it is. I DO NOT. You're hiding it. HIDE! THAT THING?! So you do know what it is OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it. BRFORR Quick! HIde! OKay. THAT THING IS ENORMOUS. Hm. Smaller. OK. I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5 Seven Bananas… FUCK, MAN. What's this dumb game. *takes shot* it IS dumb. You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana. Oh no. This is fucked up. *barfs* You wanna play? Nah, I'm good. Diplo. What. You have 57 children. *nods* Never look at me again. *hangs head* Go that way, with your children. Dillon Francis. Yes. You have 8 kids. )That's believable) Oh, wow. *You have 84 kids. WHAT! He has more kids than me! Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black. Go say hello. Uhh. Now: Wait, where are you going. The the auditorium. There's an auditorium? For what. AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common. What the fuck. How does he have more kids than me?! Are you serious?! Whose kids are THESE. Mind your business. Let me guess. There's still busses pulling up. I know. And a helicopter! Oh, that's just the guest of honor. Are you serious. SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert. *landing on helipad* LOL OhGod. MEANWHRILE. Whats in here. NOTHING. Just GET IN THE BOX. NO. GET– NO IN THE BOX WElcome to Jack In The Box Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking? Uhhh. Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos. Eugh Extra squirt. Gross! And uh– You want anything. I'm good. Suit yourself. Best tacos ever. __ Wait, hold on. “Wait what” I think i might be getting tired, or something. Right…tired, “or something.” Or something. RIght. *blow horn* * * * * * * * Do you ever get lonely. No. Oh… But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed. Oh! Moving on. Watch this. *snipes* Nice. Now check it out, that's where she respawns. (from behind) Not always. Oh shit. *stop*camping* DOUBLE KILL. Nice. Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map. Would you shut up. You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment? …no. Too bad. You're hired. …hired for what. You applied on indeed, right? Yeah, as a janitor. NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor. What! Here's your camera. (it is a cheap disposable) Are you serious. You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon. Can't I just use my iPhone? Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed? …no. Then NO. … “The Bad Boys Of Hollywood” Prepare To Be Canceled the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness. I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. What's that? Shut up Don't ever look at me again. If i could take my eyes out, I would. No, need–I can do it for you. Haha, charade you are. You're a disaster. That's your excuse. Yeah, what's yours? Under the indifferential circumstances– “ooh–lala” I'm not as partial to making excuses as –as to what? Kissing ass? Only cute ones. Let it settle in, way down below deck Where the honor rollers are, The high rollers, far above you You wanna know how long the ride is? Wanna know how far you've come If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you Love is not enough The seas are rough An open wound A bleeding heart How right you are The tea is strong, Like solid gold A needle's bond With no remorse, The tithes are gone Upright, Upright To end, to End That's right, I said Just end it I said “Better me than him” Another dinner with a friend A fear for framework, Or indifference again In this selection or Collection, Bears and end to End And End to end Upright And End to End Upright And End to end I dont know, if i want to know you I dont love like I want to love but I watched him raise the dead, Just so he had a friend I don't know if you've been told, but I don't love like I want to love, and I often raise the dead, Just so i can have a friend To play with It's darker in here, Oh, It's sufferable So I just want to know I live in a haunted house With a cat and a mouse But the old cat's gone, now the mouse tends to travel a lot I've nothing to haunt, (I'm a ghost in Toronto) A car show, A hollow heart, A starving artist, A scar; Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue So it goes: The stars on his face remind her of him So it goes: We all want Out of body Out of Mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Why (Why-Why) Would you leave me to wake (Why) In a terrible world Without you in it (A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck, It's very simple) I tried to settle on subtle saffron I tried to love you, Then I moved on Do you ever wonder about philosophy? Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you Secretly? Do you ever dream of it? (I'm just a ghost in a mansion) I haven't even had breakfast I've practically been dead half a century I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist What a bargain! You started it! I'm not arguing. I lost that bet, you know. Clearly. Is it that obvious? How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis? He lost the bet but won the race. Whatever that means Okay. Who the fuck wrote this. [No show of hands] Nobody?! Thats our GOD. That's your God. yes. I thought Beyonce was your God. That's what I just SAID. We must infiltrate. But how. That which binds up through time The chemical, physical and biological nature of love An exploration of the meaning of meaning 1st, Second, and Third Movement Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo And bagpipes! And my trumpet! That sounds more like a french horn Or a Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten Well, not entirely Impenetrable *stabs with sword* KRISTEN SHAAL Woah. MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever) Dang. TINA FEY (or whoever) (At least it wasn't me) Right. –all i'm sayin. Wait, who got stabbed? Whoever. Not Jimmy Fallon. No. His untimely death is later. How much later? I don't– __ Meanwhile Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you. Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me. So it's settled. $20 on Magic, please. Fair. Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where Yup. SHH. WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS. No, it isn't. What. I Came into blank street Tryna see a [?!] all coffee No cream please Scream supacree But really you can't see me Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard Feed me b Seymour Ain't tryna be gory Corey Hate to inform you I I'm stuck at the rock I'm stuck at the bottom Youre stuck at the top Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then! Work harder and more often Fuck love and whole foods cause they All Flashback music London … …. …… ………. Who else has seen this. Nobody, just us. We must burn this at once. I wholeheartedly agree. [Remarkably huge bonfire.] Did u make copies. ya . Ooh, that's cool. Very creative. Wow Nice. … … …. Have you seen this? No. Look at it. …ilikeit. Sensations of sadness Salacious arpeggios Arduous agressions Transitions– progressive Incendiary imagery Electric Synthesis Intentionally focused, configurative –Literally Skrillex. Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him. Just shoot the nigga. Ooh, he's so cute. Keep him away from me. C'mon. Yo–I can't. Fine, i'll do it. *sighs indifferently* You could move a mountain; I could stop the tide In a flash; All at once It was a long, long drive I miss the coast (Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine) You could move a mountain Keep me from going insane (If I was inside, you'd) Keep me from going outside (if I was in, though, you'd) Keep me from going in, Under the circumstances I can't stand it, but I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters Waiting for someone who Never shows up, so So Suffer no longer I wouldn't want to want you, if i wondered more about it At the surface, Or way under Nothing wants what nothing gets And noting gets nothing Anyways, so Here's for the abstract Stream of conscious Nothing moves mountains, but You could move mountains In a flash, and I turned the tide on I saw the tidal With my ghost And twelve apostles I've been waiting for Godot For so long I still think He might come Haha, what a charade We all are Huh I love you What was that? I've run off Huh I love you What was that? I've run off I finally fell out of love Look, I broke my own heart Sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I bite my lip, Fall into bed Maybe it's a hex Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment I've been waking up with someone, But going in the world alone, eh It's never run to remember where you've been After a binder You would think with so much in my system I'd have reached indifference, Well, didn't you I didn't yet, In fact, I'm still tying one one, With a friend At the moment Well perhaps, just perhaps, It might be time that I let you go then? Don't be so chauvinistic. Isn't this a barmitvah? Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions To no exact conclusions More Complications I could just FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER. He says it's a pluck, But i see it's percussive If I could give less of a fuck Then I probably coudn't. Woah How many wishes I've granted This festival season How many shifts that I've written through Sitting on busses and subways Looking suspicious as ever and probably smelling atrocious. INT. BLINK FITNESS. …I'm not using that shower. I thought I'd be more employable After sorting some, But it seems as though The more there is The more there isn't And the deeper it gets –the number of spirits I've risen Since getting here Is steady rising It's no surprise I've got more friends that died Than have lived here. It's been a very long year But I fucked it off quickly I'll never listen to Skrillex again If you paid me, But i'll play it In my mixes Depending Fuck it, There my brain went Down the drain again I've been training over a year And i'm still not Kayla fit I'm sick of it I've been waiting for Godot Since the year that I wrote it I've been wearing these bracelets for years Still haven't seen frozen, So i can't let it go yet Oh shit. This is all a distraction The underground is massive Another Michaelangelo Anglo Saxon anonymous I want an erroneous daughter Or Androgynous, Whatever These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors All I ever was, Was a disappointment I got a smile like Madonna's But none of the love at all I got a back end like Beyonce's But just some of the talent “What's an ass for If i'm cellibate, anyhow?” I asked God, She said, “Eat A Taco” I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that The older I get The straighter I am, And dammit He's sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I write books, And mind my own business It's impossible to whitewash all of us But I love rock and roll Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy. So?! SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION: I don't wanna do this. My heart's so broken I could hold it on chopsticks You ever wonder what love is I've forgotten I'm having a hard time holding it all in I'm an artist I've got colorful emotional troubles Others love it Lil biiiiiitttzzz Man, fuck new york. I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown– Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street: I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes And I see this like– Box of birds. No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box I'm like “what. Birds.” Not just birds, though, Colorful birds– Like, straight up parakeets. I'm like, “What. the fuck” Then, before I can even look up– This dude–I just see his leg, though, He just– kicks the box of birds. “what.” Like, towards me, and i'm like “Okay, alright.” Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan Adjacent to Trader Joes And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds, And he has this bowl So I look at the guy, And I look at the bowl, And what's in the bowl. IT'S MORE BIRDS. “OH NO!' I say. Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan “Oh no!” Cause it's not just a bowl of birds It's a bowl of PIGEONS. Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl. I'm like “Oh no.” And then i cross into trader joes. “Yep, right neighborhood.” Alright, here's the plan. where did you come from. nowhere. someone shoot that lady. DILLON FRANCIS I'm your worst nightmare. Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare. GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER. Oh, man. DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood. Try being famous over here! Motherfucker! More on that later. Look, I don't even like you like that! That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change. *hangs head* I'm am not ashamed. I just might watch porn in the morning. Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around. Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis. The one with brown eyes. He's the trustworthy one. Well good luck with that. (The one that doesn't exist.) I didn't take the train today; I thought I was going to jump Thought i'd better play it safe Filled up my shopping cart, Got everything I wanted Everything and more Might not look my best but At least I'm not gone Come on, six o clock I just want to be alone She's got the gift of gab Grew up two blocks from here In the ghetto I've heard it all before But love, my heart's so broken And you turn me on some I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector. That shit is like crack to me. Oh no. Who is this about. I'll give you one guess. I don't have any guesses. It's five past Christ I just opened my eyelids And rolled back my mind I tried to find you, after all, didn't I I might have designed you (On second thought I did) I might need time (if I believed in it) can't apologize for being human, but I wear your eyes all over the world I wear the memories of many girls And many nights Suffer the consequences Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering Wait, where was I again? I was almost, Almost a person There's so much to learn from And too much to learn here I've been fighting off demons, Fighting the feeling of Falling in love again But I can't fall in Cause I never fell out Afterward, I went past it And on to the next one I might double back though– To find that I hadn't quite left in the– To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place To find that we haven't quite met yet At least not the right way It's probably a lesson I might miss the lecture I've got other plans today Fuck, so it is Skrillex. Not really exactly. On second thought, at first glance Better illusion, than hypnotism But if I can't be like that Why be anything at all If not a model Or artist Brought it up at the wrong time (You would want her) I wasn't one for improper introductions Or impromptu arrangements There, there It's just getting better So better not whine about it I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood, Cause nobody loves me I've been alone, not lonely And never alone as long as I like Cause they all just surround me Now I know what it's like to be famous Without all the money and glamour– Turns out, that's the part that alluring I'd better find out what I did this for In the next downpour I'll be soaked to my torso exactly Aren't you proud of me (not really) I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options As time rolled on I got worse at making up stories As it turns out I didn't have to make them up at all They were happening to me So truly and honestly All my job was to “Mark My Words” Said The God Quite astonishing literally But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren I wouldn't bring it up, except The photographic evidence was damaging At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such Then again, —I've never even been on an album cover. There you have it I've been lusting over Several other Talented masters and Handsome disasters But matter of fact It just started with One random – Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences Since this, Random is just as likely as foreign a concept As such Immaculate conception, This contraption At first glance, a sonogram Play it back, Caught in the act again Cause in the act again I'll probably make a list of Weird shit I want to do with him When I think of it in public (That's usually where it happens) And if anything is random –It's that. ILLUMINATI DREAMS: PART III Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. That was cool. We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins— Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box. I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together— But he was over her and super loyal to me — It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob: Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend— Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob; I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend; So he broke it off with her— Sonny never woke up There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together. Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway. Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love. It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon. It felt warm and good. Lmfao wtf is wrong with you SOMETHING, obviously. It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but — A clock stops me in my tracks A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground I love the sparkles On Rockaway boulevard, Making it harder to ponder The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving The servicemen and servers of the surface Boughroughs further than Manhattan At the center lil biiiiiitzzzzs — Bro, I love the cops in New York All the cops in the east are bar none top notch I'm not kidding I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot I'm not joking I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking That's not even the worst part! the worst part was, they were looking back at me! All of em! I was like: “what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “ V.O. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry– So instead of running two miles on the treadmill I went three– But I still wanted to punch something. So I lifted some. I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running… But I don't care. I'd rather weighless, and have a man, Than keep lifting like this, And be a man. Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one. Sometimes, depending on the way I dress, I'm mistaken for one– Or at least– Give off an air of general confusion. But I don't mind. Not that much. I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like. It might take a bit of maintenance, But i'm determined to persist I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman. But maybe, if i'm lu

For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide: The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow [An Inspiring Story] Had I exacted this science, For starters, On anyone else but A circle of stars, I forewarn you, I wouldn't be honored as such Just a disheartened philosopher, A nonpartisan biocentric; Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET. what. WE'RE STILL WAITING. huh? DRAKE BELL How long do i have to keep doing this for? ILLUMINATI Till the end DRAKE BELL Whens the end. ILLUMINATI When it is. Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment. *squinting* –and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky. *squinting even harder* –No… –No…(?) No. …No. Ugh! Try not to hold your breath. *holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.* I told you, I need this. *attempt to block telepathy had failed* You don't need anything. *squinting exactly alike* The eyes really are windows… Maybe I should jump out then. –or jump in. dayumm . sike . Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project. How much acid did you put in the water. Enough Fuck, I hate my life. Which bottle is it in. [beat] All of them. *facepalm* Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do. I wouldn't quite call it that. I would. Don't be gross. I'm you. You're gross. Touche. I don't think we should be doing this. We shouldn't be. Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp? Nice. He's like 100 years old. Ah, to be young again. So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady? Really fucking old. Like, how old, though. Really, really fucking old. Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess. [She dances by] *gasp* Is that her?! Yeus. She's young again! It appears she has procured a body! Presumably! I must do the same! At once! At one! Lol who are these dudes. Just wait for it. Hurmph. Nrh. *sigh of deep frustration, facepalm* *falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment* Oh good, they're here. Who's they? I don't know! Hm. Suhp. Nice rabbit hole. *shrugs nonscalontly* On telephone) She bought a what a Whole Foods Market? (In public, trying not to be heard) A penis shaped sweet potato. A WHAT? [Speak up] A– penis shaped sweet potato. A WH– A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO. (Everyone stops and stares) …it was delicious. Nice. I don't know Anymore What to do With myself I'm a mess On the Inside and out –wanna cry about it He's a rock and roll sex God I don't know What to think Anymore No, don't ask My opinion, It gets old Afterawhile, And after awhile I'll cry about it, but Right now, I've gotta get out of this Gotta get out! I gotta get out of this project. Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ? I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing. Ugh, what do you want. Listen, Ill make it quicK: It's bee quick. Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what. Or what. That's all I want to know. Know what? When? When what? [Stopping] Are you serious. What. If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it. MAybe it's not. Yeah, I wish. Hey! wishes get granted– –I said that. –You said that. Look– Don't touch me. Sorry. No you're not. –if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how. Oh, the “How” Yeah. You want the “How” Just–yes. If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How” Well, do you know how? You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. Well. Okay. “Okay”? I'm not a human being. Oh, right. UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN. Well, that's your grandmother, so Great-great– Whatever. You exist because she exists. Existed. She was dead before I was born! Actually, that's not true. Beg your pardon. …Ever had your palm read before. All of your kids– “kids “ Read: Lovechildren. Ahem. Are in this room And– Fuck that I'm not writing this scene, It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written. No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about, Is that so? No! It's funny but– But what? It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me. What is UP. What IS up? Have you ever thought about dating a writer? No. Aw, come on… Actually yes–once Once is all I need! Not you. Daww… I dated a writer once in college. What, really? Really. But that was in college. I was in college. He was a writer. Oh, that's hot. Not Exactly. He worked for Disney. Wait–he what? Hm. I almost forgot about that. DISNEY We didn't [simultaneously] MICKEY MOUSE I didn't. Well, what happened. Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was… Flashback: Wait, you're 17. SEVENTEEN?? What's th difference! A YEAR! *purses lips* …or like, a couple months… *face* …or like–midnight on your birthday! *squints* But not 17! *shrugs* Hollywood Is Hollywood. Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story What's “New Hollywood?” My level is indifference, Benevolence, inward violence Ending obsessions and arrangements, Incessant sexual repression, Exponential explanations –Of the world i've never lived in, but created, apparently. Now, i”m unhinged Haven't made a decision on whether I should just binger, or Find a new mister, Or end it I'm still sitting Stuck on ‘concentrical' Now I'm unhinged And it's just been a minute I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but I should stay clear, is it Everclear or Here, son, Just have another bottle Now i'm not stuck on Nothing and no one I cant even see movies anymore All i see is actors, All i hear is conversations I've already written in Closed conversations with critics Dressed as Angels All i see is Camera Angles The city of angels But my algorithm Must have build new york for me, From consciousness or something Sometimes just apartment hunting is Simply avigation and, of course Expanding the map It's just a 3D phenomenon, But all I want is just a hug, You know No you don't know. I've been stuck at concentrical Stopped at Columbus Circle, and The harsher the winter, The fonder of the west I am The girls scream in the audience, I hiss “My sentiments exactly” My sentiments exactly. Keep them all away from me, I'll love them at a distance I only want the music, anyway I only want the music And the music is All anyone knows about her, really Even her mother Who loves her, But at a distance And the music is, The only think she knows, anymore Even the words are just Color that accents it. Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af Right now is corny af. Yeah, i guess. LOOK AT THESE CREDITS: Oh my God. LOOK AT EM. OKAY, ALRIGHT. YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET. What's a “Foley editor” NOBODY. Well he's in the credits. Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck “A foley editor” What IS that. I don't know, Mr. Hollywood. Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood. Well, not literally– Of course not. Wait, is that a thing. If it was, would I be it? [Super Nerdy Writer] I mean, you'd at least be the poster child. Okay, my turn. HI THERE, FACE HERE. *inconsolable screaming* Holy shit, the 90's was RAW. Okay, so your childhood is terrifying. Just wait till we get to the *More inconsolable screaming* Lol. Look. What up bro. It's Juggalos. lol . After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string. Woah. Yeah. Do you think it's aliens Probably. Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know. Right. Lol. maybe you're the alien. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. We know you know where it is. I DO NOT. You're hiding it. HIDE! THAT THING?! So you do know what it is OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it. BRFORR Quick! HIde! OKay. THAT THING IS ENORMOUS. Hm. Smaller. OK. I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5 Seven Bananas… FUCK, MAN. What's this dumb game. *takes shot* it IS dumb. You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana. Oh no. This is fucked up. *barfs* You wanna play? Nah, I'm good. Diplo. What. You have 57 children. *nods* Never look at me again. *hangs head* Go that way, with your children. Dillon Francis. Yes. You have 8 kids. )That's believable) Oh, wow. *You have 84 kids. WHAT! He has more kids than me! Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black. Go say hello. Uhh. Now: Wait, where are you going. The the auditorium. There's an auditorium? For what. AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common. What the fuck. How does he have more kids than me?! Are you serious?! Whose kids are THESE. Mind your business. Let me guess. There's still busses pulling up. I know. And a helicopter! Oh, that's just the guest of honor. Are you serious. SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert. *landing on helipad* LOL OhGod. MEANWHRILE. Whats in here. NOTHING. Just GET IN THE BOX. NO. GET– NO IN THE BOX WElcome to Jack In The Box Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking? Uhhh. Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos. Eugh Extra squirt. Gross! And uh– You want anything. I'm good. Suit yourself. Best tacos ever. __ Wait, hold on. “Wait what” I think i might be getting tired, or something. Right…tired, “or something.” Or something. RIght. *blow horn* * * * * * * * Do you ever get lonely. No. Oh… But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed. Oh! Moving on. Watch this. *snipes* Nice. Now check it out, that's where she respawns. (from behind) Not always. Oh shit. *stop*camping* DOUBLE KILL. Nice. Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map. Would you shut up. You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment? …no. Too bad. You're hired. …hired for what. You applied on indeed, right? Yeah, as a janitor. NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor. What! Here's your camera. (it is a cheap disposable) Are you serious. You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon. Can't I just use my iPhone? Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed? …no. Then NO. … “The Bad Boys Of Hollywood” Prepare To Be Canceled the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness. I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. What's that? Shut up Don't ever look at me again. If i could take my eyes out, I would. No, need–I can do it for you. Haha, charade you are. You're a disaster. That's your excuse. Yeah, what's yours? Under the indifferential circumstances– “ooh–lala” I'm not as partial to making excuses as –as to what? Kissing ass? Only cute ones. Let it settle in, way down below deck Where the honor rollers are, The high rollers, far above you You wanna know how long the ride is? Wanna know how far you've come If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you Love is not enough The seas are rough An open wound A bleeding heart How right you are The tea is strong, Like solid gold A needle's bond With no remorse, The tithes are gone Upright, Upright To end, to End That's right, I said Just end it I said “Better me than him” Another dinner with a friend A fear for framework, Or indifference again In this selection or Collection, Bears and end to End And End to end Upright And End to End Upright And End to end I dont know, if i want to know you I dont love like I want to love but I watched him raise the dead, Just so he had a friend I don't know if you've been told, but I don't love like I want to love, and I often raise the dead, Just so i can have a friend To play with It's darker in here, Oh, It's sufferable So I just want to know I live in a haunted house With a cat and a mouse But the old cat's gone, now the mouse tends to travel a lot I've nothing to haunt, (I'm a ghost in Toronto) A car show, A hollow heart, A starving artist, A scar; Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue So it goes: The stars on his face remind her of him So it goes: We all want Out of body Out of Mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Why (Why-Why) Would you leave me to wake (Why) In a terrible world Without you in it (A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck, It's very simple) I tried to settle on subtle saffron I tried to love you, Then I moved on Do you ever wonder about philosophy? Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you Secretly? Do you ever dream of it? (I'm just a ghost in a mansion) I haven't even had breakfast I've practically been dead half a century I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist What a bargain! You started it! I'm not arguing. I lost that bet, you know. Clearly. Is it that obvious? How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis? He lost the bet but won the race. Whatever that means Okay. Who the fuck wrote this. [No show of hands] Nobody?! Thats our GOD. That's your God. yes. I thought Beyonce was your God. That's what I just SAID. We must infiltrate. But how. That which binds up through time The chemical, physical and biological nature of love An exploration of the meaning of meaning 1st, Second, and Third Movement Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo And bagpipes! And my trumpet! That sounds more like a french horn Or a “Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten” Well, not entirely Impenetrable *stabs with sword* KRISTEN SHAAL Woah. MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever) Dang. TINA FEY (or whoever) (At least it wasn't me) Right. –all i'm sayin. Wait, who got stabbed? Whoever. Not Jimmy Fallon. No. His untimely death is later. How much later? I don't– __ Meanwhile Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you. Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me. So it's settled. $20 on Magic, please. Fair. Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where Yup. SHH. WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS. No, it isn't. What. I Came into blank street Tryna see a [?!] all coffee No cream please Scream supacree But really you can't see me Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard Feed me b Seymour Ain't tryna be gory Corey Hate to inform you I I'm stuck at the rock I'm stuck at the bottom Youre stuck at the top Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then! Work harder and more often Fuck love and whole foods cause they All Flashback music London … …. …… ………. Who else has seen this. Nobody, just us. We must burn this at once. I wholeheartedly agree. [Remarkably huge bonfire.] Did u make copies. ya . Ooh, that's cool. Very creative. Wow Nice. … … …. Have you seen this? No. Look at it. …ilikeit. Sensations of sadness Salacious arpeggios Arduous agressions Transitions– progressive Incendiary imagery Electric Synthesis Intentionally focused, configurative –Literally Skrillex. Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him. Just shoot the nigga. Ooh, he's so cute. Keep him away from me. C'mon. Yo–I can't. Fine, i'll do it. *sighs indifferently* You could move a mountain; I could stop the tide In a flash; All at once It was a long, long drive I miss the coast (Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine) You could move a mountain Keep me from going insane (If I was inside, you'd) Keep me from going outside (if I was in, though, you'd) Keep me from going in, Under the circumstances I can't stand it, but I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters Waiting for someone who Never shows up, so So Suffer no longer I wouldn't want to want you, if i wondered more about it At the surface, Or way under Nothing wants what nothing gets And noting gets nothing Anyways, so Here's for the abstract Stream of conscious Nothing moves mountains, but You could move mountains In a flash, and I turned the tide on I saw the tidal With my ghost And twelve apostles I've been waiting for Godot For so long I still think He might come Haha, what a charade We all are Huh I love you What was that? I've run off Huh I love you What was that? I've run off I finally fell out of love Look, I broke my own heart Sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I bite my lip, Fall into bed Maybe it's a hex Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment I've been waking up with someone, But going in the world alone, eh It's never run to remember where you've been After a binder You would think with so much in my system I'd have reached indifference, Well, didn't you I didn't yet, In fact, I'm still tying one one, With a friend At the moment Well perhaps, just perhaps, It might be time that I let you go then? Don't be so chauvinistic. Isn't this a barmitvah? Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions To no exact conclusions More Complications I could just FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER. He says it's a pluck, But i see it's percussive If I could give less of a fuck Then I probably coudn't. Woah How many wishes I've granted This festival season How many shifts that I've written through Sitting on busses and subways Looking suspicious as ever and probably smelling atrocious. INT. BLINK FITNESS. …I'm not using that shower. I thought I'd be more employable After sorting some, But it seems as though The more there is The more there isn't And the deeper it gets –the number of spirits I've risen Since getting here Is steady rising It's no surprise I've got more friends that died Than have lived here. It's been a very long year But I fucked it off quickly I'll never listen to Skrillex again If you paid me, But i'll play it In my mixes Depending Fuck it, There my brain went Down the drain again I've been training over a year And i'm still not Kayla fit I'm sick of it I've been waiting for Godot Since the year that I wrote it I've been wearing these bracelets for years Still haven't seen frozen, So i can't let it go yet Oh shit. This is all a distraction The underground is massive Another Michaelangelo Anglo Saxon anonymous I want an erroneous daughter Or Androgynous, Whatever These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors All I ever was, Was a disappointment I got a smile like Madonna's But none of the love at all I got a back end like Beyonce's But just some of the talent “What's an ass for If i'm cellibate, anyhow?” I asked God, She said, “Eat A Taco” I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that The older I get The straighter I am, And dammit He's sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I write books, And mind my own business It's impossible to whitewash all of us But I love rock and roll Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy. So?! SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION: I don't wanna do this. My heart's so broken I could hold it on chopsticks You ever wonder what love is I've forgotten I'm having a hard time holding it all in I'm an artist I've got colorful emotional troubles Others love it Lil biiiiiitttzzz Man, fuck new york. I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown– Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street: I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes And I see this like– Box of birds. No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box I'm like “what. Birds.” Not just birds, though, Colorful birds– Like, straight up parakeets. I'm like, “What. the fuck” Then, before I can even look up– This dude–I just see his leg, though, He just– kicks the box of birds. “what.” Like, towards me, and i'm like “Okay, alright.” Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan Adjacent to Trader Joes And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds, And he has this bowl So I look at the guy, And I look at the bowl, And what's in the bowl. IT'S MORE BIRDS. “OH NO!' I say. Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan “Oh no!” Cause it's not just a bowl of birds It's a bowl of PIGEONS. Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl. I'm like “Oh no.” And then i cross into trader joes. “Yep, right neighborhood.” Alright, here's the plan. where did you come from. nowhere. someone shoot that lady. DILLON FRANCIS I'm your worst nightmare. Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare. GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER. Oh, man. DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood. Try being famous over here! Motherfucker! More on that later. Look, I don't even like you like that! That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change. *hangs head* I'm am not ashamed. I just might watch porn in the morning. Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around. Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis. The one with brown eyes. He's the trustworthy one. Well good luck with that. (The one that doesn't exist.) I didn't take the train today; I thought I was going to jump Thought i'd better play it safe Filled up my shopping cart, Got everything I wanted Everything and more Might not look my best but At least I'm not gone Come on, six o clock I just want to be alone She's got the gift of gab Grew up two blocks from here In the ghetto I've heard it all before But love, my heart's so broken And you turn me on some I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector. That shit is like crack to me. Oh no. Who is this about. I'll give you one guess. I don't have any guesses. It's five past Christ I just opened my eyelids And rolled back my mind I tried to find you, after all, didn't I I might have designed you (On second thought I did) I might need time (if I believed in it) can't apologize for being human, but I wear your eyes all over the world I wear the memories of many girls And many nights Suffer the consequences Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering Wait, where was I again? I was almost, Almost a person There's so much to learn from And too much to learn here I've been fighting off demons, Fighting the feeling of Falling in love again But I can't fall in Cause I never fell out Afterward, I went past it And on to the next one I might double back though– To find that I hadn't quite left in the– To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place To find that we haven't quite met yet At least not the right way It's probably a lesson I might miss the lecture I've got other plans today Fuck, so it is Skrillex. Not really exactly. On second thought, at first glance Better illusion, than hypnotism But if I can't be like that Why be anything at all If not a model Or artist Brought it up at the wrong time (You would want her) I wasn't one for improper introductions Or impromptu arrangements There, there It's just getting better So better not whine about it I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood, Cause nobody loves me I've been alone, not lonely And never alone as long as I like Cause they all just surround me Now I know what it's like to be famous Without all the money and glamour– Turns out, that's the part that alluring I'd better find out what I did this for In the next downpour I'll be soaked to my torso exactly Aren't you proud of me (not really) I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options As time rolled on I got worse at making up stories As it turns out I didn't have to make them up at all They were happening to me So truly and honestly All my job was to “Mark My Words” Said The God Quite astonishing literally But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren I wouldn't bring it up, except The photographic evidence was damaging At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such Then again, —I've never even been on an album cover. There you have it I've been lusting over Several other Talented masters and Handsome disasters But matter of fact It just started with One random – Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences Since this, Random is just as likely as foreign a concept As such Immaculate conception, This contraption At first glance, a sonogram Play it back, Caught in the act again Cause in the act again I'll probably make a list of Weird shit I want to do with him When I think of it in public (That's usually where it happens) And if anything is random –It's that. ILLUMINATI DREAMS: PART III Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. That was cool. We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins— Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box. I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together— But he was over her and super loyal to me — It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob: Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend— Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob; I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend; So he broke it off with her— Sonny never woke up There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together. Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway. Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love. It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon. It felt warm and good. Lmfao wtf is wrong with you SOMETHING, obviously. It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but — A clock stops me in my tracks A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground I love the sparkles On Rockaway boulevard, Making it harder to ponder The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving The servicemen and servers of the surface Boughroughs further than Manhattan At the center lil biiiiiitzzzzs — Bro, I love the cops in New York All the cops in the east are bar none top notch I'm not kidding I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot I'm not joking I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking That's not even the worst part! the worst part was, they were looking back at me! All of em! I was like: “what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “ V.O. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry– So instead of running two miles on the treadmill I went three– But I still wanted to punch something. So I lifted some. I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running… But I don't care. I'd rather weighless, and have a man, Than keep lifting like this, And be a man. Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one. Sometimes, depending on the way I dress, I'm mistaken for one– Or at least– Give off an air of general confusion. But I don't mind. Not that much. I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like. It might take a bit of maintenance, But i'm determined to persist I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman. But maybe, if i'm lucky, or if I try hard enough, I'll have an idea of what it's like to have become one. I'm counting my blessings. All of them. I'm saying my prayers. A lot. And I'm crossing my fingers– that the longer, harder, and faster I run, The closer I get to actually living. That is, To be loved. I wish I could take my eyes out and wash them wit soap. Oh. I wish i didn't know you existed; I wish I Didn't know how to love you God, I spoke to soon I opened up all of the wrong doors, I'm done for, You know, I'm not really good at nothing Nothing at all I wish i didn't know at all You were ever born; But there you are, a son of God, And I'm just rolling along, writing anthems, and carrying on as if everything happened at once But it hasn't Not yet, I'm still breaking my neck on the alter If you want blood I've got it Jump the broom, But watch your heart I've got a dagger full of them; You'd think i had it backwards, But that's the hard part If it were the other way around Oh But it's not No I don't want to love anyone, anymore, God Take me off of this rock Throw me head first overboard Push me in front of a bus; Or give me a heart attack I've had it harder before, But that was over there, I'm omnipresent. I could write forever to this (Ten years ago) I put the book with the devil on front Into my row A collection of noveelties An erection, selective To say the least But please, forgive me I'm veen on my knees And barely breathing, Let it simmer, Simmer down please settle, way below the belt Above you and Beyond this, But I'll never firget what you said (i love you) I'll nevr forget what you said And I'll never look back, dad And I'll never go back ther And I'll neve have blue eyes And I'll never have blonde hair And I'll never have white skin And I'll never be better At least not at this partl But maybe the other I'm just friendless I like it My security blanket The party i wasnt invited to My lies are compulsive; But not quite pathological But the girl was obnoxious And my spirit tyrannical I'm an animal But I pray a lot And used to fast as much Now that Ive been determined to be an deplorable Why not just kill myself? I'd be better off after With a kitchen, a shower I'd forget about money; Getting paid by the hour. I'd be better off anyway I need a vacation It was all in my head, anyway Then again, so is heaven Amen A…men A…men… It's a dangerous game we play But i'd rather not kill myself over you (Again) I'd rather not kill myself again I'd rather not kill myself Could be a coincidence But I doubt it, Since I don't believe in them But I could be getting my lines crossed My rum mixed with vodka And getting my ass whooped more often That's not a metaphor: I'm not a fighter It was metaphysical before, But now its atrocious This night'll be a lot longer If i remain hungry But I wanna look like Madonna! (minus, of course, the minor difference between us) I hadn't understood what an age gap meant, Until jumping it (hardee har har, that's a good one) I'm not even in my body right now; But i'm in my head Shut up, Becky! Isn't it bad enough, Your society? Fuck, I'm losing my mind Just not being blonde enough Or just not being wanted, or something (Loved) Playing the victim, But hey, At least i'm playing something! All these instruments are just too expensive I was just thinking how Photosensitive epilepsy and synestesia Might be deadly But I said “till death do us part” So i think that's what I need I thought my suicide ended it Now I'm in hell with him But I'd end it over and over again Just to be rid of him (yes, i'm serious) Fuck, man, Madonna's gonna kill— For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide: The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow [An Inspiring Story] Had I exacted this science, For starters, On anyone else but A circle of stars, I forewarn you, I wouldn't be honored as such Just a disheartened philosopher, A nonpartisan biocentric; Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET. what. WE'RE STILL WAITING. huh? DRAKE BELL How long do i have to keep doing this for? ILLUMINATI Till the end DRAKE BELL Whens the end. ILLUMINATI When it is. Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment. *squinting* –and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky. *squinting even harder* –No… –No…(?) No. …No. Ugh! Try not to hold your breath. *holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.* I told you, I need this. *attempt to block telepathy had failed* You don't need anything. *squinting exactly alike* The eyes really are windows… Maybe I should jump out then. –or jump in. dayumm . sike . Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project. How much acid did you put in the water. Enough Fuck, I hate my life. Which bottle is it in. [beat] All of them. *facepalm* Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do. I wouldn't quite call it that. I would. Don't be gross. I'm you. You're gross. Touche. I don't think we should be doing this. We shouldn't be. Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp? Nice. He's like 100 years old. Ah, to be young again. So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady. Really fucking old. Like, how old, though. Really, really fucking old. Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess. [She dances by] *gasp* Is that her?! Yeus. She's young again! It appears she has procured a body! Presumably! I must do the same! At once! At one! Lol who are these dudes. Just wait for it. Hurmph. Nrh. *sigh of deep frustration, facepalm* *falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment* Oh good, they're here. Who's they? I don't know! Hm. Suhp. Nice rabbit hole. *shrugs nonscalontly* On telephone) She bought a what a Whole Foods Market? (In public, trying not to be heard) A penis shaped sweet potato. A WHAT? [Speak up] A– penis shaped sweet potato. A WH– A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO. (Everyone stops and stares) …it was delicious. Nice. I don't know Anymore What to do With myself I'm a mess On the Inside and out –wanna cry about it He's a rock and roll sex God I don't know What to think Anymore No, don't ask My opinion, It gets old Afterawhile, And after awhile I'll cry about it, but Right now, I've gotta get out of this Gotta get out! I gotta get out of this project. Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ? I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing. Ugh, what do you want. Listen, Ill make it quicK: It's bee quick. Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what. Or what. That's all I want to know. Know what? When? When what? [Stopping] Are you serious. What. If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it. MAybe it's not. Yeah, I wish. Hey! wishes get granted– –I said that. –You said that. Look– Don't touch me. Sorry. No you're not. –if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how. Oh, the “How” Yeah. You want the “How” Just–yes. If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How” Well, do you know how? You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. Well. Okay. “Okay”? I'm not a human being. Oh, right. UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN. Well, that's your grandmother, so Great-great– Whatever. You exist because she exists. Existed. She was dead before I was born! Actually, that's not true. Beg your pardon. …Ever had your palm read before. All of your kids– “kids “ Read: Lovechildren. Ahem. Are in this room And– Fuck that I'm not writing this scene, It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written. No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about, Is that so? No! It's funny but– But what? It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me. What is UP. What IS up? Have you ever thought about dating a writer? No. Aw, come on… Actually yes–once Once is all I need! Not you. Daww… I dated a writer once in college. What, really? Really. But that was in college. I was in college. He was a writer. Oh, that's hot. Not Exactly. He worked for Disney. Wait–he what? Hm. I almost forgot about that. DISNEY We didn't [simultaneously] MICKEY MOUSE I didn't. Well, what happened. Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was… Flashback: Wait, you're 17. SEVENTEEN?? What's th difference! A YEAR! *purses lips* …or like, a couple months… *face* …or like–midnight on your birthday! *squints* But not 17! *shrugs* Hollywood Is Hollywood. Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story What's “New Hollywood?” My level is indifference, Benevolence, inward violence Ending obsessions and arrangements, Incessant sexual repression, Exponential explanations –Of the world i've never lived in, but created, apparently. Now, i”m unhinged Haven't made a decision on whether I should just binger, or Find a new mister, Or end it I'm still sitting Stuck on ‘concentrical' Now I'm unhinged And it's just been a minute I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but I should stay clear, is it Everclear or Here, son, Just have another bottle Now i'm not stuck on Nothing and no one I cant even see movies anymore All i see is actors, All i hear is conversations I've already written in Closed conversations with critics Dressed as Angels All i see is Camera Angles The city of angels But my algorithm Must have build new york for me, From consciousness or something Sometimes just apartment hunting is Simply avigation and, of course Expanding the map It's just a 3D phenomenon, But all I want is just a hug, You know No you don't know. I've been stuck at concentrical Stopped at Columbus Circle, and The harsher the winter, The fonder of the west I am The girls scream in the audience, I hiss “My sentiments exactly” My sentiments exactly. Keep them all away from me, I'll love them at a distance I only want the music, anyway I only want the music And the music is All anyone knows about her, really Even her mother Who loves her, But at a distance And the music is, The only think she knows, anymore Even the words are just Color that accents it. Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af Right now is corny af. Yeah, i guess. LOOK AT THESE CREDITS: Oh my God. LOOK AT EM. OKAY, ALRIGHT. YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET. What's a “Foley editor” NOBODY. Well he's in the credits. Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck “A foley editor” What IS that. I don't know, Mr. Hollywood. Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood. Well, not literally– Of course not. Wait, is that a thing. If it was, would I be it? [Super Nerdy Writer] I mean, you'd at least be the poster child. Okay, my turn. HI THERE, FACE HERE. *inconsolable screaming* Holy shit, the 90's was RAW. Okay, so your childhood is terrifying. Just wait till we get to the *More inconsolable screaming* Lol. Look. What up bro. It's Juggalos. lol . After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string. Woah. Yeah. Do you think it's aliens Probably. Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know. Right. Lol. maybe you're the alien. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. We know you know where it is. I DO NOT. You're hiding it. HIDE! THAT THING?! So you do know what it is OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it. BRFORR Quick! HIde! OKay. THAT THING IS ENORMOUS. Hm. Smaller. OK. I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5 Seven Bananas… FUCK, MAN. What's this dumb game. *takes shot* it IS dumb. You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana. Oh no. This is fucked up. *barfs* You wanna play? Nah, I'm good. Diplo. What. You have 57 children. *nods* Never look at me again. *hangs head* Go that way, with your children. Dillon Francis. Yes. You have 8 kids. )That's believable) Oh, wow. *You have 84 kids. WHAT! He has more kids than me! Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black. Go say hello. Uhh. Now: Wait, where are you going. The the auditorium. There's an auditorium? For what. AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common. What the fuck. How does he have more kids than me?! Are you serious?! Whose kids are THESE. Mind your business. Let me guess. There's still busses pulling up. I know. And a helicopter! Oh, that's just the guest of honor. Are you serious. SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert. *landing on helipad* LOL OhGod. MEANWHRILE. Whats in here. NOTHING. Just GET IN THE BOX. NO. GET– NO IN THE BOX WElcome to Jack In The Box Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking? Uhhh. Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos. Eugh Extra squirt. Gross! And uh– You want anything. I'm good. Suit yourself. Best tacos ever. __ Wait, hold on. “Wait what” I think i might be getting tired, or something. Right…tired, “or something.” Or something. RIght. *blow horn* * * * * * * * Do you ever get lonely. No. Oh… But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed. Oh! Moving on. Watch this. *snipes* Nice. Now check it out, that's where she respawns. (from behind) Not always. Oh shit. *stop*camping* DOUBLE KILL. Nice. Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map. Would you shut up. You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment? …no. Too bad. You're hired. …hired for what. You applied on indeed, right? Yeah, as a janitor. NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor. What! Here's your camera. (it is a cheap disposable) Are you serious. You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon. Can't I just use my iPhone? Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed? …no. Then NO. … “The Bad Boys Of Hollywood” Prepare To Be Canceled the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness. I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. What's that? Shut up Don't ever look at me again. If i could take my eyes out, I would. No, need–I can do it for you. Haha, charade you are. You're a disaster. That's your excuse. Yeah, what's yours? Under the indifferential circumstances– “ooh–lala” I'm not as partial to making excuses as –as to what? Kissing ass? Only cute ones. Let it settle in, way down below deck Where the honor rollers are, The high rollers, far above you You wanna know how long the ride is? Wanna know how far you've come If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you Love is not enough The seas are rough An open wound A bleeding heart How right you are The tea is strong, Like solid gold A needle's bond With no remorse, The tithes are gone Upright, Upright To end, to End That's right, I said Just end it I said “Better me than him” Another dinner with a friend A fear for framework, Or indifference again In this selection or Collection, Bears and end to End And End to end Upright And End to End Upright And End to end I dont know, if i want to know you I dont love like I want to love but I watched him raise the dead, Just so he had a friend I don't know if you've been told, but I don't love like I want to love, and I often raise the dead, Just so i can have a friend To play with It's darker in here, Oh, It's sufferable So I just want to know I live in a haunted house With a cat and a mouse But the old cat's gone, now the mouse tends to travel a lot I've nothing to haunt, (I'm a ghost in Toronto) A car show, A hollow heart, A starving artist, A scar; Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue So it goes: The stars on his face remind her of him So it goes: We all want Out of body Out of Mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Why (Why-Why) Would you leave me to wake (Why) In a terrible world Without you in it (A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck, It's very simple) I tried to settle on subtle saffron I tried to love you, Then I moved on Do you ever wonder about philosophy? Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you Secretly? Do you ever dream of it? (I'm just a ghost in a mansion) I haven't even had breakfast I've practically been dead half a century I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist What a bargain! You started it! I'm not arguing. I lost that bet, you know. Clearly. Is it that obvious? How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis? He lost the bet but won the race. Whatever that means Okay. Who the fuck wrote this. [No show of hands] Nobody?! Thats our GOD. That's your God. yes. I thought Beyonce was your God. That's what I just SAID. We must infiltrate. But how. That which binds up through time The chemical, physical and biological nature of love An exploration of the meaning of meaning 1st, Second, and Third Movement Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo And bagpipes! And my trumpet! That sounds more like a french horn Or a Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten Well, not entirely Impenetrable *stabs with sword* KRISTEN SHAAL Woah. MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever) Dang. TINA FEY (or whoever) (At least it wasn't me) Right. –all i'm sayin. Wait, who got stabbed? Whoever. Not Jimmy Fallon. No. His untimely death is later. How much later? I don't– __ Meanwhile Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you. Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me. So it's settled. $20 on Magic, please. Fair. Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where Yup. SHH. WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS. No, it isn't. What. I Came into blank street Tryna see a [?!] all coffee No cream please Scream supacree But really you can't see me Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard Feed me b Seymour Ain't tryna be gory Corey Hate to inform you I I'm stuck at the rock I'm stuck at the bottom Youre stuck at the top Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then! Work harder and more often Fuck love and whole foods cause they All Flashback music London … …. …… ………. Who else has seen this. Nobody, just us. We must burn this at once. I wholeheartedly agree. [Remarkably huge bonfire.] Did u make copies. ya . Ooh, that's cool. Very creative. Wow Nice. … … …. Have you seen this? No. Look at it. …ilikeit. Sensations of sadness Salacious arpeggios Arduous agressions Transitions– progressive Incendiary imagery Electric Synthesis Intentionally focused, configurative –Literally Skrillex. Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him. Just shoot the nigga. Ooh, he's so cute. Keep him away from me. C'mon. Yo–I can't. Fine, i'll do it. *sighs indifferently* You could move a mountain; I could stop the tide In a flash; All at once It was a long, long drive I miss the coast (Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine) You could move a mountain Keep me from going insane (If I was inside, you'd) Keep me from going outside (if I was in, though, you'd) Keep me from going in, Under the circumstances I can't stand it, but I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters Waiting for someone who Never shows up, so So Suffer no longer I wouldn't want to want you, if i wondered more about it At the surface, Or way under Nothing wants what nothing gets And noting gets nothing Anyways, so Here's for the abstract Stream of conscious Nothing moves mountains, but You could move mountains In a flash, and I turned the tide on I saw the tidal With my ghost And twelve apostles I've been waiting for Godot For so long I still think He might come Haha, what a charade We all are Huh I love you What was that? I've run off Huh I love you What was that? I've run off I finally fell out of love Look, I broke my own heart Sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I bite my lip, Fall into bed Maybe it's a hex Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment I've been waking up with someone, But going in the world alone, eh It's never run to remember where you've been After a binder You would think with so much in my system I'd have reached indifference, Well, didn't you I didn't yet, In fact, I'm still tying one one, With a friend At the moment Well perhaps, just perhaps, It might be time that I let you go then? Don't be so chauvinistic. Isn't this a barmitvah? Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions To no exact conclusions More Complications I could just FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER. He says it's a pluck, But i see it's percussive If I could give less of a fuck Then I probably coudn't. Woah How many wishes I've granted This festival season How many shifts that I've written through Sitting on busses and subways Looking suspicious as ever and probably smelling atrocious. INT. BLINK FITNESS. …I'm not using that shower. I thought I'd be more employable After sorting some, But it seems as though The more there is The more there isn't And the deeper it gets –the number of spirits I've risen Since getting here Is steady rising It's no surprise I've got more friends that died Than have lived here. It's been a very long year But I fucked it off quickly I'll never listen to Skrillex again If you paid me, But i'll play it In my mixes Depending Fuck it, There my brain went Down the drain again I've been training over a year And i'm still not Kayla fit I'm sick of it I've been waiting for Godot Since the year that I wrote it I've been wearing these bracelets for years Still haven't seen frozen, So i can't let it go yet Oh shit. This is all a distraction The underground is massive Another Michaelangelo Anglo Saxon anonymous I want an erroneous daughter Or Androgynous, Whatever These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors All I ever was, Was a disappointment I got a smile like Madonna's But none of the love at all I got a back end like Beyonce's But just some of the talent “What's an ass for If i'm cellibate, anyhow?” I asked God, She said, “Eat A Taco” I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that The older I get The straighter I am, And dammit He's sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I write books, And mind my own business It's impossible to whitewash all of us But I love rock and roll Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy. So?! SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION: I don't wanna do this. My heart's so broken I could hold it on chopsticks You ever wonder what love is I've forgotten I'm having a hard time holding it all in I'm an artist I've got colorful emotional troubles Others love it Lil biiiiiitttzzz Man, fuck new york. I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown– Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street: I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes And I see this like– Box of birds. No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box I'm like “what. Birds.” Not just birds, though, Colorful birds– Like, straight up parakeets. I'm like, “What. the fuck” Then, before I can even look up– This dude–I just see his leg, though, He just– kicks the box of birds. “what.” Like, towards me, and i'm like “Okay, alright.” Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan Adjacent to Trader Joes And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds, And he has this bowl So I look at the guy, And I look at the bowl, And what's in the bowl. IT'S MORE BIRDS. “OH NO!' I say. Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan “Oh no!” Cause it's not just a bowl of birds It's a bowl of PIGEONS. Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl. I'm like “Oh no.” And then i cross into trader joes. “Yep, right neighborhood.” Alright, here's the plan. where did you come from. nowhere. someone shoot that lady. DILLON FRANCIS I'm your worst nightmare. Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare. GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER. Oh, man. DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood. Try being famous over here! Motherfucker! More on that later. Look, I don't even like you like that! That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change. *hangs head* I'm am not ashamed. I just might watch porn in the morning. Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around. Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis. The one with brown eyes. He's the trustworthy one. Well good luck with that. (The one that doesn't exist.) I didn't take the train today; I thought I was going to jump Thought i'd better play it safe Filled up my shopping cart, Got everything I wanted Everything and more Might not look my best but At least I'm not gone Come on, six o clock I just want to be alone She's got the gift of gab Grew up two blocks from here In the ghetto I've heard it all before But love, my heart's so broken And you turn me on some I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector. That shit is like crack to me. Oh no. Who is this about. I'll give you one guess. I don't have any guesses. It's five past Christ I just opened my eyelids And rolled back my mind I tried to find you, after all, didn't I I might have designed you (On second thought I did) I might need time (if I believed in it) can't apologize for being human, but I wear your eyes all over the world I wear the memories of many girls And many nights Suffer the consequences Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering Wait, where was I again? I was almost, Almost a person There's so much to learn from And too much to learn here I've been fighting off demons, Fighting the feeling of Falling in love again But I can't fall in Cause I never fell out Afterward, I went past it And on to the next one I might double back though– To find that I hadn't quite left in the– To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place To find that we haven't quite met yet At least not the right way It's probably a lesson I might miss the lecture I've got other plans today Fuck, so it is Skrillex. Not really exactly. On second thought, at first glance Better illusion, than hypnotism But if I can't be like that Why be anything at all If not a model Or artist Brought it up at the wrong time (You would want her) I wasn't one for improper introductions Or impromptu arrangements There, there It's just getting better So better not whine about it I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood, Cause nobody loves me I've been alone, not lonely And never alone as long as I like Cause they all just surround me Now I know what it's like to be famous Without all the money and glamour– Turns out, that's the part that alluring I'd better find out what I did this for In the next downpour I'll be soaked to my torso exactly Aren't you proud of me (not really) I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options As time rolled on I got worse at making up stories As it turns out I didn't have to make them up at all They were happening to me So truly and honestly All my job was to “Mark My Words” Said The God Quite astonishing literally But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren I wouldn't bring it up, except The photographic evidence was damaging At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such Then again, —I've never even been on an album cover. There you have it I've been lusting over Several other Talented masters and Handsome disasters But matter of fact It just started with One random – Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences Since this, Random is just as likely as foreign a concept As such Immaculate conception, This contraption At first glance, a sonogram Play it back, Caught in the act again Cause in the act again I'll probably make a list of Weird shit I want to do with him When I think of it in public (That's usually where it happens) And if anything is random –It's that. ILLUMINATI DREAMS: PART III Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. That was cool. We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins— Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box. I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together— But he was over her and super loyal to me — It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob: Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend— Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob; I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend; So he broke it off with her— Sonny never woke up There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together. Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway. Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love. It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon. It felt warm and good. Lmfao wtf is wrong with you SOMETHING, obviously. It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but — A clock stops me in my tracks A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground I love the sparkles On Rockaway boulevard, Making it harder to ponder The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving The servicemen and servers of the surface Boughroughs further than Manhattan At the center lil biiiiiitzzzzs — Bro, I love the cops in New York All the cops in the east are bar none top notch I'm not kidding I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot I'm not joking I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking That's not even the worst part! the worst part was, they were looking back at me! All of em! I was like: “what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “ V.O. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry– So instead of running two miles on the treadmill I went three– But I still wanted to punch something. So I lifted some. I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running… But I don't care. I'd rather weighless, and have a man, Than keep lifting like this, And be a man. Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one. Sometimes, depending on the way I dress, I'm mistaken for one– Or at least– Give off an air of general confusion. But I don't mind. Not that much. I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like. It might take a bit of maintenance, But i'm determined to persist I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman. But maybe, if i'm lu

Kevin Hickey from Nevada Rural Housing talks about the outstanding home ownership programs available from NRH. Get all the details from your local mortgage lender or visit www.NVRrual.org Steve Jimenez from Hives For Heroes talks about working with Veterans and bees to form great support, friendships and harmony with Veterans and beekeepers. Steve will be at the Nevada State Beekeepers Conference Feb. 22-24 in Yerington Nevada. Learn more about the program at www.FindANevadaLender.org www.HivesForHeroes.org www.Sageintl.com

Just like a good swing, we must swing backward to swing forward. We need vision that sees both backward and forward. We look back to learn from the past, get in touch with our heritages--our roots, and remember how we got here today. We identify our foundation. This week Patty Weaver looks back on the past 20 years of kids ministry at The Hills Church. Two decades full of highs and lows. Listen in and learn from this pioneering kids minister as she steps into the next chapter of her life. Come see Patty's last Christmas musical-In a Galilee Far, Far Away on Saturday, December 9 at 6 pm in the Worship Center at NRH. Then, stop by at her reception on Sunday, December 10 between the 8:30 and 10 or betwwen the 10 and 11:30 services at NRH. Other Christmas opportunities are: Keller Campus - Breakfast with Santa on Saturday, December 9 at 9 am. West Fort Worth Campus - Christmas Musical on Saturday, December 9 am at 5 pm. For more information on Christmas, visit thehills.org/christmas Reach out to us at nextgennow@thehills.org and find more information about The Hills Church at www.thehills.org.

Fergus Farrell once again joins me to discuss his next challenge. To run 206km in four days on the 23rd Oct - 26th Oct 2023 with the goal to raise money for the National Rehabilitation Hospital in Dublin where he fought his way back having severed his spinal chord. To donate and support Gussie's goal of raising €250,000 for the NRH go to this link https://www.idonate.ie/fundraiser/ToughestTrek23 This discussion is more than just a challenge, we speak about his battle with failure, how it hangs on to his thoughts and why his kids are the most important people in his life. We only have time to waste and best use our time with the ones we love. A heart worming encounter. . --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whatmakesyoutick/message

We talk to Dr Joseph Baur about NMNH and NRH and some of the ways that his lab is working on optimizing NAD boosters by trying to get more of the NAD into the mitochondria and testing on larger animals and in humans.

Back with another listening. This time it's 6lack's "Since I Have A Lover". As always thanks for the support and be sure to follow us on our socials! Socials https://www.instagram.com/thegoodelifepod https://twitter.com/thegoodelifepod https://www.tiktok.com/@thegoodelifepod Cold Feet (12:24) Inwood Hill Park (14:59) Since I Have A Lover (30:18) playin house (36:42) Fatal Attraction (43:22) Spirited Away (48:21) chasing feeling (56:46) preach (58:27) Tit For Tat (1:02:36) Talkback (1:06:42) wanna dem (1:13:00) B4L (1:16:23) Decatur (1:31:54) Talk (1:39:58) Temporary ft. Don Toliver (1:59:24) Rent Free (2:07:56) Stories In Motion (2:17:30) Testify (2:24:46) NRH (2:28:38)

Working as a speech and language therapist in the NRH in Dublin, sport is not only her passion but it's also her outlet for fun, socialising and delivering some standout performances including; runner-up placings in the Triathlon Ireland National Series in 2018 and 2019. She went on to win the Triathlon Ireland National Duathlon Series in 2019 and was runner-up in the Duathlon National Championships that year.  Winner of the Hardman Bantry Middle Distance race in 2020 and Hardman Waterville Middle Distance race in 2021 she successfully executed a great performance in only her third middle distance race at IRONMAN 70.3 Marbella in May of this year to finish as fastest female age group athlete on the day stamping her ticket to the IRONMAN 70.3 World Championships in Utah later this year.   Racing her bike as part of the All Human VeloRevolution cycling team since 2020, her cycling trophy cabinet is also bursting at the seams with the Team prize at The 2020 National Cycling Championships.  In 2021 she was second in the Cycling Ireland National Road Series, the Irish National Hill Climb Championships, and took home runner-up in the Best Irish Rider Classification at Rás na mBan.   Coached by Olympian Gavin Noble of HupHup, a former guest on the show on episode number 50,  Becky is thriving in triathlon and with her spot secured for the IRONMAN 70.3 World Championships in UTAH in October, her eyes are firmly on a solid performance in the States and similar to her training partner Hilary Hughes, Becky may seek to secure her pro card post World Championships.  An exciting prospect not only for Becky but also for the sport of triathlon in Ireland as these female athletes represent not only themselves, their club and country on the International stage but they provide the inspiration and example for others to follow as they embark on their own personal journeys in sport.   Becky's passion for life, sport and fun is infectious, her positive outlook and determination to succeed coupled with her desire to never stand still,  has seen her thrive and achieve her sporting goals and ambitions from a young age, and I have no doubt there is a lot more success to come for Becky Woods in the future. Watch this space. 

Taking on the mammoth task in May of this year they are each no stranger to uphill battles be it in sport or in life. Damian, a former guest on the podcast is an avid extreme adventurer, and explorer whose fascination with exploring the world has seen him embark on quite a few life-changing adventures. Listen to his episode (No 12) on the podcast to get a glimpse into his life of adventure and ability to push his boundaries to the extreme. Fergus has bravely fought a battle for his life after an accident in 2018 left him with a 5% chance of ever walking again, but battle he did.  He fought hard to overcome the challenges and obstacles he faced in recovery in learning to walk again. Setting small goals along the way he achieved his primary goal of being able to walk and just one year after his accident walked from Athenry in Galway to the NRH in Dublin, a journey of 206km on foot that would see him achieve a massive goal that he had set himself only weeks after his accident had left him with little hope of ever setting two feet on the ground again.  Together Damian and Fergus are a formidable force, focused and determined, they have left no stone unturned in their quest to row home from America.  With one eye on the successful crossing of the ocean the other eye is on a World Record that although hasn't been broken for over 100 years could just be within their reach. Regardless of the record, with a little luck and some kind weather from mother nature, a successful row across the 4937.47km of the North Atlantic will see them enter the ocean rowing history books and they will be the talk of their home town of Galway for many years to come, leaving a lasting legacy for others to follow and be inspired by. 

NRH is a trade association whose mission is to serve, be a resource to, educate, and connect its members to the nonprofit community.At the same time, NRH serves the nonprofit sector as a bridge connecting nonprofit organizations to each other and to helpful resources.Danette O'Connell, the Co-Founder and President of the Nonprofit Resource Hub and the CEO of Triumph International. Her passion is helping both national and international NONPROFITS by providing expertise in growth, sustainability, strategic planning, operations, technology, and financial management.She had been assisting organizations for over 20 years with her entrepreneurial spirit.Tune in for this sensible conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by clicking here.Show Notes‍Segment 1Overlooked, underfunded, and underrecognized Tommy brings to light that nonprofit organizations are run by strong passionate individuals that want to help others. Danette and Tommy know each other as both took part in the creation of the Nonprofit Resource Hub. Tommy projects Danettes passion as he introduces her and all she has done in her 20 years of experience. Danettes passion to serve and to give back is what drives her to continue to reach out and not only educate, but connect with communities domestically and internationally.Segment 2Seeing that Danette is a Co-Founder and the President of the Nonprofit Resource Hub she has to go though a process of project management. Danette shares what she goes through when meeting with a client and observing what can be done to grow their business. Tommy and Danette go through opportunities that can be uncovered from project management for Nonprofits. She not only takes into consideration what will benefit the nonprofit as a whole but the individuals that are working as well.Segment 3Danette has had satisfied businesses in Malawi, Uganda, the United Kingdom, China, and more. Danettes experiences had led her to the creation of the Nonprofit Resource Hub. After countless nonprofits turning to her for resources and help she and the other founders brought the Nonprofit Resource Hub to life. It is a free resource that can connect the nonprofit community to resources that they need to thrive. For more information nonprofits can get in touch with the hub and become partners.‍Segment 4Tommy and Danette talk about hub offers to its members. Danette goes into detail about what connections can be made and the different opportunities the Hub provides to nonprofit organizations. One of the main functions of the Hub is to connect communities and reach out to others. If you need to reach out head to the Nonprofit Resource Hub or connect with Danette at Doconnell@nonprofitresourcehub.org

Primer segmento: Ángel Papo Vázquez nos recuerda de ESTADITY ¿Cómo accedemos? Segundo segmento: Manolo Matos, podcastero auto-exiliado en Kentucky http://www.cucubanopod.com/ La convención Republican • Totalmente ausente el "cambio climático" • Mensaje de miedo a El Otro • El líder (padre) protector • "La hipótesis del macho alfa" • Discursos de ley y orden • Obama • La guerra social en las calles • Las noticias inflamatorias pues les conviene a Trump • Surgimiento de "camisas brown y camisas negras" Tercer segmento: EEUU son dos países y la división hizo crisis tras Obama Retórica de Trump encontró resonancia La mayoría se convierte en "la víctimas" La prensa es la misma maquinaria Segmento Final: Audiencia: • Suburbia y rural • ¿blancos, conservadores, religiosos defendiendo sus privilegios? • racistas • NRH • Ya Trump ni se cuida de que le puedan contradecir con datos La derecha cristiana • Pocos pero votantes • Trump antítesis de cristiandad • ¿Por qué el apoyo? • El fin justifica los medios • Trump le llena los ojos con sus discursos vacíos • Con todo lo anterior, puede volver a ganar

August 29th our NWA Worlds Heavyweight Champion, Nick Aldis, is set to defend the Ten Pounds of Gold in North Richland Hills, Texas. But did you know about the history of the NWA and North Richland Hills?  No less than four men have traveled to this small suburb of the Metroplex area of Dallas/Fort Worth, the area was a long time home to the National Wrestling Alliance member, NWA Southwest.  Many NWA champions have defended in this area.  Will Nick Aldis leave NRH as Champion? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/theallianceblog/support

April 1, 2019, Library Special Collection Room, 3rd Floor, Main Library, NRH as part of the Kenkoy, History of Komiks: Kenkoy’s 90th Anniversary event. The post IKP 017: Giosdesk Guiao Publishing Talk at FEU appeared first on @mukatman online.

In the 12th Episode of the Postural Restoration Podcast I am joined by Louise Kelley, DPT, PRC who currently practices out of Rockville, MD. Louise began her career in movement and science as an avid runner and ran throughout her formidable years and throughout college. It wasn't until rehabbing an injury with an Athletic Trainer that Louise became interested in movement science and athletic medicine. Although she was a Premed student at the time, she had little interest in becoming an MD and spent many years volunteering and ingraining herself in various sports medicine settings.She later attended Emory University where she earned her Masters of Physical Therapy in 1989. Louise enjoyed the neurological approach to learning that they offered as well as learning about various methodology such as NDT, PNF, Brunnstrom and a heavy focus on chest Physical Therapy of all things! Louise has always been a life long learner and eventually returned to PT school over two decades later, to earn her Doctorate of Physical Therapy. This allowed Louise not only to earn the most current degree in PT but also gave her an appreciation for how the practice was currently being taught.Louise started her career working for the National Rehabilitation Hospital in Washington, D.C. and spent many years with "NRH" in a vast array of settings. Her mentor Jan Dommerholt would eventually ask her to take part in several program developments and her time with NRH led to time treating many subsets of patients including, prenatal, singers, dancers, time in a post polio outpatient clinic, and a lymphedema program among many others. Her first PRI exposure was during a Phil Donnelly course in which PRI was mentioned. After discovering Ron Hruska's article on the "Tri-Planar Influences of the Hamstring" she was hooked.Her co-worker at the time, Cindy Anderson, took Myokinematic Restoration and shared her discoveries from the course upon returning to the clinic. Finally Louise attended her first course in 2007 in Lancaster, PA with James Anderson. Coincidentally Mike Cantrell was also in attendance and provided a welcome surprise as Louise and Mike were part of the same graduating class at Emory. After being exposed to PRI Louise incorporated concepts into several new outpatient settings and although she was able to see a wide ranging clientele she was limited in how she was able to use the science.Louise became Postural Restoration Certified in 2011 after attending Advanced Integration and feeling ready to further her PRI journey. Shortly after Louise became more involved with the institute through helping Julie Blandin structure and piece together parts of the PRI Integration for Fitness and Movement material. Through this process she was recognized for her dedication and passion for the science and later was asked to become part of the PRI Faculty teaching Postural Respiration. Eventually Louise started her own practice, "Kelley PT" in 2017 and has been able to implement PRI with all her patients since. Louise continues to remain active in various running communities and plans to continue to train for the World Masters Championship in 2022.

Facebook Replay 12-13-19 - Tanya talks about how Meal Prep can be a lifesaver some days. We don't ALWAYS have time to prep, so it's important to prep when we DO have the time. Your future self will thank you!To watch the videos, follow NRH on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/notreallyhungry or on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/notreallyhungry.Learn all about Not Really Hungry on the blog at: https://www.notreallyhungry.com

Tonight on Strikeout Beer, Allen and Rapid Dave will be reviewing Roast Malone by Brutal Beerworks from NRH, TX. This little beauty is an Imperial Milk Stout with a 11.2% ABV. YOWZERS! Visit www.brutalbeerworks.com for more information.Join us weekly on Facebook, Youtube & Twitch to interact during our live show. Subscribe/Follow on Spreaker, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio and YouTube. #craftbeer #imperialmilkstoute #stout #craftbeerreview #brutalbeerworks #milkstout #texas #nrhtx #roastmalone #malone #roast #northrichlandhills #texasbeer #beeroftheweek #strikeoutbeer #podcastshow #podcastlife #live #beerpodcast #craftbeerpodcast #new #facebook #youtube #stream #livestream #itunes Please take a moment to rate us on iTunes, Google Podcasts and Facebook. Thank you!----------------------------------------Connect with Strikeout Beer:Web: http://www.strikeoutbeer.comSpreaker: https://www.spreaker.com/user/strikeoutbeerFacebook: http://www.facebook.com/strikeoutbeer/YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCegiprjz2qtNqK2hOURSpwAInstagram: @strikeoutbeerTwitter: @strikeoutbeerTumblr: @strikeoutbeerpodcastTwitch: strikeoutbeer----------------------------------------Intro/Exit Music Info:“Fast Modern Rock Song” & “Heavy Rock Groove” by Royalty Free Music on Rock Instrumentals for Use in Production Vol. 3 TV Productions, Podcasts, Movies & Jingles from Amazon Music

Do you have your list of Whys from Episodes 11 and 12? You will want them for today's episode where I share what is the most important and most successful Why we can attain.Mark 12:33 - And to love Him with all the heart, with all the understanding, with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love one’s neighbor as oneself, is more than all the whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.What is God's success plan for us? Psalm 1:1-3 tells us:Blessed is the manWho walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,Nor stands in the path of sinners,Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;But his delight is in the law of the Lord,And in His law he meditates day and night.He shall be like a treePlanted by the rivers of water,That brings forth its fruit in its season,Whose leaf also shall not wither;And whatever he does shall prosper.Do it God’s way!Obey and be productive; in the right timeToday's Thought: “Each of us must take responsibility for our own health, for the glory of God, our own enjoyment of life and for the courtesy of the people we say we love.” ~ Pastor Nick Wright, Covenant Love Christian Center, NRH, TXBe sure to subscribe and share my podcast and join our Facebook CHAT GROUP.Let me know in the CHAT GROUP on the pinned post, "Whatcha Wanna Hear?" if you have any questions I can address. Visit my website at 4theWilling.com and my blog for tips and REAL FOODS. Join my mailing list to stay informed of when the newest episodes are released and other fun announcements (your inbox will not be bombarded and you can unsubscribe at any time) at Coach Debbi's Chat Letter Signup.Support the show (https://paypal.me/DebbiRobertson)

Facebook Replay 10-08-19 - Tanya talks about winter coats, motivation, & low expectations. Get out of your own way and just start!To watch the videos, follow NRH on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/notreallyhungry or on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/notreallyhungry.Learn all about Not Really Hungry on the blog at https://www.notreallyhungry.com

Facebook Replay 09-22-19 - Overcoming Fear: Tanya talks about overcoming fear and all the Negative Nancy thoughts and feelings we let hold us back! To watch the videos, follow NRH on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/notreallyhungry or on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/notreallyhungry. Learn all about Not Really Hungry on the blog at https://www.notreallyhungry.com

On this weeks episode of the podcast. Matt sat down with two former guests of the show Maeve Nolan and Rose Curtis. With a special twist to this weeks episode, Matt was the one being interviewed by Maeve and Rose. On the show Matt talks about his work in the NRH, his life before the NRH, over coming self doubt and fear, childhood trauma, yoga and meditation, what he has learned working with people with disabilities, his own diet, how the gyms can be intimidating and so much more! Huge thank you to both Maeve Nolan and Rose Curtis for coming onto the show to interview Matt. Special thanks to our: Sponsors: Niall Reilly- www.rooneymedia.com Magic Minds Podcast Team Matt Burke- Host Kevin Doyle- The Technical Legend Aaron Keogh- Social Media & Promotion --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/magic-minds/message

For Sale By Owners – Discussion Points and tips to list more FSBO’s Winning with FSBO’S is 90% mindset and 10% skills. I’m not discounting that we need to have some skills to get the job done, I am suggesting that it’s what our approach and expectations are that will make us win or have more challenges with the when working with the by owner seller. Fact: at least 70-80% eventually list with an agent. If we know that the vast majority eventually list, why not say to yourself it’s going to be with me and in order for that to happen I have to insert myself into the conversation, the odds are in your favor. There are more by owner sellers than most agents have as a goal to sell each year.  They are only a few things that can happen, they sell, the list or nothing at all. The serious and most qualified ones are most likely to list with an agent. Our job here is to sift through all of them to find the aces in the deck…or at least the face cards.  The key is to never lose sight that the good ones are there and often we allow the others … the 2’s 3’s 4’s…the less qualified sellers influence us and discourage us.  There are a lot of good people out there that are in need of your services…believe in what you have to offer and the solutions you can bring to them. Being organized and having consistent lead follow up is everything with this source of seller leads. (The spider web) I like to say we have to be “sticky” like a stamp.  Another way to visualize this is to think of it like you’ve spun a spider web…nothing gets out of your web (once it’s in there) unless you choose to let it go.  Time on task over time beats talent every time. Don’t look down on them for trying to sell the home themselves. This is quickest way to turn someone off and shut us down.  It’s a tactic that I’ve heard many agents over the years use…fear and scare tactics don’t work.  Remember the saying…it goes like this…a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.  Be supportive (sincerely supportive and professional) and follow up until they’re ready to fold.  Pre-qualify first, if they meet your standards then either make an appointment, preview appointment of create a new lead to follow up with. The point here is to be sure the lead meets your standards.  When I say standards, I am talking about things like…location – within areas you service…price ranges…there may be a point in which you aren’t going to work a lead that’s at a lower price or higher price…this all depends on your experience, market and economic factors.  I always have a standard around people’s attitudes…you have a choice and don’t have to work with unhappy people, negative people that have stinkin thinkin…it’s just a chance to reflect and ask yourself “is this business I want to pursue?” Don’t get caught up in their story or drama of why they “think” they can’t afford to list with an agent…they can’t afford not to. First, on this one…ALWAYS listen with respect…I am just suggesting not to buy in to the story or get caught up emotionally.  We have to separate ourselves from their circumstances and understand that at the moment they may not think they can this or that and in the end they will do what they have to do if they really need to move and are unable to sell themselves.  Tell the story – seller NRH – not going to list, has a friend they’d list with and wouldn’t pay full comm.  Not only did I get the listing, I got a full commission. Smoke screens are sometimes sent our way and we have to have a big fan to blow it out.  Point: When the motivation is present, we all do what we have to do.  The facts are, 85% of all homes in the S. sell in the hands of a Realtor. Statistics show homes that sell with Realtors sell for more money than private party, if not the industry as a whole would go away. It’s important to keep this in mind…over the years and going back to the beginning of real estate as a profession, our industry represents (depending on the source) 8 to 9 out of every 10 homes that sell.  And for the 1-2 of ten that sell, in many cases wasn’t that a by owner actually found a traditional buyer, there was an arrangement where a neighbor bought the home or a family member etc.  If we have to offer didn’t work to bring homeowners more money, quicker sales with less hassles and reduce their risk/liability our industry would have gone away by now.  This is why it’s so important to be top of our game and continuously be upgrading what we do as real estate professionals.  By owner’s have a process to go through, some are longer than others. The key is being there when they are done going through that process, be persistent with your lead follow up. We never know where we’re meeting someone in their process … we only find out when we make contact with them…we don’t know if they’re just getting started or have been attempting to sell for months – tired of fielding calls – sitting their open houses – and being tied down to their homes.  The only way to know if to make contact.  Think about human behavior – are most of us by nature the type to stick with things when times are tough OR are do most of us tend to break down and give up? (WAIT).  Exactly – so if we realize that as a society we have that tendency use that to your advantage and stay the course because the odds are they won’t! Visual – you have a wall in front of you, you can’t climb or jump over it. How do you get to the other side? Take down one brick at a time until you can step over it to the other side.  Our job is to help them discover they have a problem and then offer the solution. Again, we don’t want to make them wrong here.  This is a technique you can use to create doubt or curiosity in their minds.  You can do this by asking strategic questions.   Curiosity – If I could clearly demonstrate a financial benefit by working with me…you’d at least want to know what is…wouldn’t you?  If we met and you felt I could get you more money, a quicker sale with less hassle, would you at least consider it? Testing the waters not all fish will bite, that’s ok. Doubt: Since 85% of all homes sold in the US are represented by RE Agents…I was curious what marketing angles you’re using to tap into the 15%? RECAP - Conversion Tips Come from contribution. Never make them wrong or look down on them. First present a problem presentation, then go into your listing presentation. Don’t buy into their story. Avoid trying to list them over the phone. Be careful not to share all your strategies before you arrive at the appointment. Don’t give them tips or write the contract for them or offer them any tools you. Follow up is everything, especially when working with this group of sellers.

THE OPERA DIvA SERIES:  Soprano Marquita Lister drops in on Patrick D. McCoy, The African American Voice in Classical Music to discuss her triumphant return to the opera stage.  Lister was the recent recipent of the Victory Award at the recent 25th Anniversary Victory Awards Gala held in Washington, D. C. at the Wardman Park Marriott.The Victory Awards® were created by NRH in 1986 to celebrate the Victory of the Human Spirit. This nationally recognized, one-of-a-kind award honors individuals who best exemplify exceptional strength and courage in the face of physical adversity. Over the past 25 years, NRH has recognized celebrities and former patients from all walks of life with this prestigious award. When illness threatened Lister's life and career, she did not give up.  With her faith, the support of friends and family and a resilient spirit, Lister has returned to performing to rave reviews. Marquita Lister has performed in some of the world's greatest opera houses and concert halls.

Recently, the suggestion to use 6-thioguanine (6-TG) as an alternative thiopurine in patients with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) has been discarded due to reports about possible (hepato) toxicity. During meetings arranged in Vienna and Prague in 2004, European experts applying 6-TG further on in IBD patients presented data on safety and efficacy of 6-TG. After thorough evaluation of its risk-benefit ratio, the group consented that 6-TG may still be considered as a rescue drug in stringently defined indications in IBD, albeit restricted to a clinical research setting. As a potential indication for administering 6-TG, we delineated the requirement for maintenance therapy as well as intolerance and/or resistance to aminosalicylates, azathioprine, 6-mercaptopurine, methotrexate and infliximab. Furthermore, indications are preferred in which surgery is thought to be inappropriate. The standard 6-TG dosage should not exceed 25 mg daily. Routine laboratory controls are mandatory in short intervals. Liver biopsies should be performed after 6-12 months, three years and then three-yearly accompanied by gastroduodenoscopy, to monitor for potential hepatotoxicity, including nodular regenerative hyperplasia (NRH) and veno-occlusive disease (VOD). Treatment with 6-TG must be discontinued in case of overt or histologically proven hepatotoxicity. Copyright (c) 2006 S. Karger AG, Basel.

Professional Baseball Player, Pete Incaviglia, describes how he priortizes his family life even though he is on the road 7 months a year. He wants men who travel for work to know how to still be a great dad and husband. It has to be intentional and purposeful. Listen to his story and how he does it.

Ann interviews Frisco Fireman, Kevin Micali, following the deaths of three firefighters in the community killed while fighting a fire. Kevin shares about his ilfe as a firefighter and his feelings on the recent tragedy.