Podcasts about that thing

Today's Object Worship is a chit-chat among hosts about pedals that do "the thing." Andy has a new song he's obsessed with, there's a bit of recent pedal news discussed, but mostly they take voicemails and ponder the question: what is the thing? Buy yourself some OBNE: http://www.oldbloodnoise.comJoin the conversation in Discord: https://discord.com/invite/PhpA5MbN5uFollow us all on the socials: @danfromdsf, @andyothling, @oldbloodnoiseSubscribe to Andy's Twitch channel: https://www.twitch.tv/powereconomyLeave us a voicemail at 505-633-4647!

Introducing a new segment on Prologues: the Freewrite. We love book/writing-related puns around here. Freewriting is a writing technique that calls for stream-of-consciousness-style writing for a predetermined amount of pages or time. The goal is to kickstart your brain's creative juices by demanding that it produce words - any words, even nonsensical words, just as long as you don't stop physically writing until you hit the goal. Freewriting is effective because it helps you bypass your mental blocks and tap into deeper ideas.Sometimes, I have several episode ideas rolling around in my head, but I can't record them because I have a block. I have something else occupying space in my head and I can't talk about anything else until I talk about That Thing. Freewrite episodes are brain dumps of anything and everything that is taking up space in my head, so that I can get it out of the way and keep moving forward. This is the first of what I'm sure will be a frequent series on the podcast. 75

December 2024 Book Club:  We're kicking off a new Doctor cycle this month with an 8th Doctor pick - “Endgame,” which is a graphic novel collection of comic strips first appearing in Doctor Who Magazine (issues 244-271) and first republished as a collected edition by Panini in October 2005, written by Alan Barnes and Scott Gray with art by Martin Geraghty and Adrian Salmon.  Happy reading!     Special thanks to author and podcaster Bill Evenson for providing the dramatic reading this month, with a cameo by The Drinking Hat.  You can purchase Bill's comedy book about Doctor Who, “Look at the Size of That Thing!” and check out his Frankenstein Minute podcast as well. Check out 10 minutes of deleted scenes from the 60th anniversary specials and Season 1.   Please help other Doctor Who fans find our show - by leaving us a rating on Apple Podcasts or your podcatcher of choice. Submit your comments via email… “who knows,” we may end up reading your feedback on the podcast!   Facebook: http://facebook.com/allnewdoctorwhobookclub Twitter: @ANDWBCPodcast BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/andwbcpodcast.bsky.social  YouTube: https://youtube.com/@DoctorWhoBookClub  Email: ANDWBCPodcast@gmail.com 

A DIFFERENT VIEW, THE SMILING MAN, THAT THING, JUST ANOTHER DAY, CHRISTMAS BREAK, THE VISITORS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever told yourself, “I'll start working on THAT once I'm done with this big project!”  Or… “I'm really going to get started on that goal once we're on the other side of the holidays.”  Or… “I'm really going to start making time for ME… once I get this off my plate.” Ever been there?  Well… if you're like me (and many of my Coaching Clients)... you tell yourself that but THEN… on the other side of that project… the holidays… or getting that thing off your plate… something else fills that time and you never get started on the thing you REALLY want to do… experience or achieve. Yup… that phenomenon is what we call “The Illusion of Future Time.” And in THIS episode we not only talk about “The Illusion of Future Time” and how it can sneak in and kill your big dreams and goals… before you even get started. But we also dig into tools to help you to BEAT the “Future Time Illusion!” It's a deep dive!  That means it's just you and me!  And we are going to have fun.  So let's get to it! RELATED DREAM THINK DO EPISODES: I give my conversation with Yoga expert James Miller a shout out!  So if you want to check that out… you can listen in here: mitchmatthews.com/248   Want some help with setting goals and making them STICK? Join me for an episode called “How to Set Goals that will STICK!:” mitchmatthews.com/107  Don't forget to check out my most recent conversation with Chase Jarvis about breaking free from the “Half-Lived Life:” www.mitchmatthews.com/411 ENCOURAGING THE ENCOURAGERS:  Remember… you can now check out Mitch's OTHER podcast called “ENCOURAGING THE ENCOURAGERS” anywhere you listen to podcasts.   It's specifically designed for Coaches, Speakers and Content Creators and provides a quick dose of inspiration, strategy AND… of course… encouragement! Find it on Apple Podcasts:  Click here Find it on Spotify: Click here Find it on Anchor: Click here Find it on Google: Click here MORE ON THIS EPISODE: START SMALL: If I could give you 40 hours to work on THAT THING... would you take it? REMEMBER: 15 minutes a day + 5 days a week + 52 weeks a year = 65 hours over a year. 15 minutes doesn't feel like enough to a PERFECTIONIST! So… watch out for the "PERFECTIONIST DILEMA" KEY:  “Don't focus on PERFECTION... focus on PROGRESS!” Avoid the "Figure It Out Fallacy:" Agree with yourself to FIGURE IT OUT AS YOU GO! Ask yourself... "Who can I be learning from?" Pablo Picasso said,  "Action is the foundations key to all success." LET'S HEAR FROM YOU! Okay… THIS was fun.  But I'm curious (as always!).   What's something that stood out to you?  What's something that resonated with YOU? More importantly… what's something you're going to try with as a result? I want to hear from YOU!   Leave a comment and let's hear from YOU! And hey… share this with a friend and ask them to join you on the journey of beating the “Illusion of Future Time” and get started on that BIG DREAM or GOAL… right now! Let's do this!   Episode Minute By Minute:  0:00 - Introduction to the concept of "The Illusion of Future Time." 1:26 - Mitch shares a story of a recent coaching client struggling with feeling "stuck" despite outward success. 2:39 - Discussion on the Dream, Think, Do framework and the importance of taking intentional action. 5:02 - Breaking down the illusion that we'll have more time in the future. 6:07 - "The Future Time Illusion" defined as a false belief that leads to delaying meaningful pursuits. 8:05 - The challenge of waiting for retirement or the "perfect time" to start big dreams. 10:20 - First strategy: Start small with as little as 15 minutes a day to make progress on big goals. 15:16 - Mitch shares inspiring stories of individuals who achieved significant progress by starting small. 18:13 - The "Perfectionist Dilemma" and the importance of focusing on progress, not perfection. 21:09 - Second strategy: Avoid the "Figure It Out Fallacy," recognizing that learning happens as you go. 24:00 - Emphasizing the value of celebrating small wins to avoid burnout and stay motivated. 27:26 - Story from a speaker mastermind on how recognizing small wins fuels long-term success. 28:45 - The power of storytelling in effective communication and connecting with others. 30:21 - Final strategy: "Who Can I Be Learning From?" to accelerate growth by seeking mentors. 34:46 - Reminder to give yourself permission to get additional training in areas of interest. 37:00 - Quoting Pablo Picasso: "Action is the foundation key to all success." 38:15 - Encouragement to take small but consistent actions rather than waiting for perfection. 40:12 - Wrapping up with the classic story of "The Tortoise and the Hare" to illustrate consistent, steady progress. 41:08 - Mitch's final message: Start now, invite friends, and make a daily commitment to work on dreams.

 What is that 1 THING that would make the biggest impact on your life? That THING that would make the biggest difference for yourself, your family, and the organizations you care about?

Welcome to another episode of Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen. Tonight's story is titled ‘That Thing you Love…” . Dear Doctor, my Alpha Male, my Dom, Sir, I'd been waiting a long time. We had seen each other several times and had great… Full Story Typed out (With Audio added) : https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/that-thing-you-love-audio-erotica-story-by-salty-vixen/Salty Vixen Stories & More main site- Bedtime Stories With Salty Vixen: https://www.saltyvixenstories.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

00:00:00 Outkast - So Fresh, So Clean 00:02:06 The Notorious BIG - Big Poppa 00:04:25 Drake - Started From The Bottom (8-Bar Intro) (Dirty) 00:06:13 Missy Elliott - Get Ur Freak On (Album Version) 00:08:22 P Diddy - Its All About The Benjamins - B.I.G. Lil Kim 00:10:20 DMX - Ruff Ryders' Anthem 00:12:50  - 062 - Arrested Development - People Everyday (1992) 00:15:30 2pac - California Love (Extended Mix) 00:19:08 Snoop Dogg, Pharrell Williams - Drop It Like It's Hot 00:21:14 Kanye West - Gold Digger feat. Jamie Foxx 00:23:59 The Notorious BIG - One More Chance (remix) 00:26:28 Mobb Deep - Shoook Ones Pt. II 00:28:18 The Notorious BIG - Hypnotize Feat. Pam From Total 00:30:31 Nas - If I Ruled the World (ft. Lauryn Hill) 00:32:33 Dr. Dre - Nuthin' But A "G" Thang Feat. Snoop Dogg 00:34:29 Snoop Doggy Dogg - Gin and Juice 00:36:27 DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Summertime 00:38:18 Terror Squad - Lean Back 00:41:19 Warren G - Regulate (1994) 00:43:40 The Notorious BIG - Juicy 00:47:10 Snoop Dogg - Who Am I (What's My Name) (Extended) 00:50:29 Naughty By Nature - Hip Hop Hooray (1993) 00:53:40 Busta Rhymes - Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See 00:55:53 The Game - Hate It Or Love It Feat. 50 Cent 00:58:07 Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop! That Thing (1998)

For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide: The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow [An Inspiring Story] Had I exacted this science, For starters, On anyone else but A circle of stars, I forewarn you, I wouldn't be honored as such Just a disheartened philosopher, A nonpartisan biocentric; Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET. what. WE'RE STILL WAITING. huh? DRAKE BELL How long do i have to keep doing this for? ILLUMINATI Till the end DRAKE BELL Whens the end. ILLUMINATI When it is. Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment. *squinting* –and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky. *squinting even harder* –No… –No…(?) No. …No. Ugh! Try not to hold your breath. *holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.* I told you, I need this. *attempt to block telepathy had failed* You don't need anything. *squinting exactly alike* The eyes really are windows… Maybe I should jump out then. –or jump in. dayumm . sike . Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project. How much acid did you put in the water. Enough Fuck, I hate my life. Which bottle is it in. [beat] All of them. *facepalm* Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do. I wouldn't quite call it that. I would. Don't be gross. I'm you. You're gross. Touche. I don't think we should be doing this. We shouldn't be. Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp? Nice. He's like 100 years old. Ah, to be young again. So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady? Really fucking old. Like, how old, though. Really, really fucking old. Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess. [She dances by] *gasp* Is that her?! Yeus. She's young again! It appears she has procured a body! Presumably! I must do the same! At once! At one! Lol who are these dudes. Just wait for it. Hurmph. Nrh. *sigh of deep frustration, facepalm* *falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment* Oh good, they're here. Who's they? I don't know! Hm. Suhp. Nice rabbit hole. *shrugs nonscalontly* On telephone) She bought a what a Whole Foods Market? (In public, trying not to be heard) A penis shaped sweet potato. A WHAT? [Speak up] A– penis shaped sweet potato. A WH– A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO. (Everyone stops and stares) …it was delicious. Nice. I don't know Anymore What to do With myself I'm a mess On the Inside and out –wanna cry about it He's a rock and roll sex God I don't know What to think Anymore No, don't ask My opinion, It gets old Afterawhile, And after awhile I'll cry about it, but Right now, I've gotta get out of this Gotta get out! I gotta get out of this project. Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ? I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing. Ugh, what do you want. Listen, Ill make it quicK: It's bee quick. Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what. Or what. That's all I want to know. Know what? When? When what? [Stopping] Are you serious. What. If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it. MAybe it's not. Yeah, I wish. Hey! wishes get granted– –I said that. –You said that. Look– Don't touch me. Sorry. No you're not. –if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how. Oh, the “How” Yeah. You want the “How” Just–yes. If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How” Well, do you know how? You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. Well. Okay. “Okay”? I'm not a human being. Oh, right. UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN. Well, that's your grandmother, so Great-great– Whatever. You exist because she exists. Existed. She was dead before I was born! Actually, that's not true. Beg your pardon. …Ever had your palm read before. All of your kids– “kids “ Read: Lovechildren. Ahem. Are in this room And– Fuck that I'm not writing this scene, It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written. No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about, Is that so? No! It's funny but– But what? It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me. What is UP. What IS up? Have you ever thought about dating a writer? No. Aw, come on… Actually yes–once Once is all I need! Not you. Daww… I dated a writer once in college. What, really? Really. But that was in college. I was in college. He was a writer. Oh, that's hot. Not Exactly. He worked for Disney. Wait–he what? Hm. I almost forgot about that. DISNEY We didn't [simultaneously] MICKEY MOUSE I didn't. Well, what happened. Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was… Flashback: Wait, you're 17. SEVENTEEN?? What's th difference! A YEAR! *purses lips* …or like, a couple months… *face* …or like–midnight on your birthday! *squints* But not 17! *shrugs* Hollywood Is Hollywood. Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story What's “New Hollywood?” My level is indifference, Benevolence, inward violence Ending obsessions and arrangements, Incessant sexual repression, Exponential explanations –Of the world i've never lived in, but created, apparently. Now, i”m unhinged Haven't made a decision on whether I should just binger, or Find a new mister, Or end it I'm still sitting Stuck on ‘concentrical' Now I'm unhinged And it's just been a minute I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but I should stay clear, is it Everclear or Here, son, Just have another bottle Now i'm not stuck on Nothing and no one I cant even see movies anymore All i see is actors, All i hear is conversations I've already written in Closed conversations with critics Dressed as Angels All i see is Camera Angles The city of angels But my algorithm Must have build new york for me, From consciousness or something Sometimes just apartment hunting is Simply avigation and, of course Expanding the map It's just a 3D phenomenon, But all I want is just a hug, You know No you don't know. I've been stuck at concentrical Stopped at Columbus Circle, and The harsher the winter, The fonder of the west I am The girls scream in the audience, I hiss “My sentiments exactly” My sentiments exactly. Keep them all away from me, I'll love them at a distance I only want the music, anyway I only want the music And the music is All anyone knows about her, really Even her mother Who loves her, But at a distance And the music is, The only think she knows, anymore Even the words are just Color that accents it. Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af Right now is corny af. Yeah, i guess. LOOK AT THESE CREDITS: Oh my God. LOOK AT EM. OKAY, ALRIGHT. YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET. What's a “Foley editor” NOBODY. Well he's in the credits. Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck “A foley editor” What IS that. I don't know, Mr. Hollywood. Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood. Well, not literally– Of course not. Wait, is that a thing. If it was, would I be it? [Super Nerdy Writer] I mean, you'd at least be the poster child. Okay, my turn. HI THERE, FACE HERE. *inconsolable screaming* Holy shit, the 90's was RAW. Okay, so your childhood is terrifying. Just wait till we get to the *More inconsolable screaming* Lol. Look. What up bro. It's Juggalos. lol . After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string. Woah. Yeah. Do you think it's aliens Probably. Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know. Right. Lol. maybe you're the alien. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. We know you know where it is. I DO NOT. You're hiding it. HIDE! THAT THING?! So you do know what it is OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it. BRFORR Quick! HIde! OKay. THAT THING IS ENORMOUS. Hm. Smaller. OK. I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5 Seven Bananas… FUCK, MAN. What's this dumb game. *takes shot* it IS dumb. You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana. Oh no. This is fucked up. *barfs* You wanna play? Nah, I'm good. Diplo. What. You have 57 children. *nods* Never look at me again. *hangs head* Go that way, with your children. Dillon Francis. Yes. You have 8 kids. )That's believable) Oh, wow. *You have 84 kids. WHAT! He has more kids than me! Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black. Go say hello. Uhh. Now: Wait, where are you going. The the auditorium. There's an auditorium? For what. AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common. What the fuck. How does he have more kids than me?! Are you serious?! Whose kids are THESE. Mind your business. Let me guess. There's still busses pulling up. I know. And a helicopter! Oh, that's just the guest of honor. Are you serious. SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert. *landing on helipad* LOL OhGod. MEANWHRILE. Whats in here. NOTHING. Just GET IN THE BOX. NO. GET– NO IN THE BOX WElcome to Jack In The Box Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking? Uhhh. Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos. Eugh Extra squirt. Gross! And uh– You want anything. I'm good. Suit yourself. Best tacos ever. __ Wait, hold on. “Wait what” I think i might be getting tired, or something. Right…tired, “or something.” Or something. RIght. *blow horn* * * * * * * * Do you ever get lonely. No. Oh… But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed. Oh! Moving on. Watch this. *snipes* Nice. Now check it out, that's where she respawns. (from behind) Not always. Oh shit. *stop*camping* DOUBLE KILL. Nice. Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map. Would you shut up. You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment? …no. Too bad. You're hired. …hired for what. You applied on indeed, right? Yeah, as a janitor. NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor. What! Here's your camera. (it is a cheap disposable) Are you serious. You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon. Can't I just use my iPhone? Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed? …no. Then NO. … “The Bad Boys Of Hollywood” Prepare To Be Canceled the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness. I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. What's that? Shut up Don't ever look at me again. If i could take my eyes out, I would. No, need–I can do it for you. Haha, charade you are. You're a disaster. That's your excuse. Yeah, what's yours? Under the indifferential circumstances– “ooh–lala” I'm not as partial to making excuses as –as to what? Kissing ass? Only cute ones. Let it settle in, way down below deck Where the honor rollers are, The high rollers, far above you You wanna know how long the ride is? Wanna know how far you've come If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you Love is not enough The seas are rough An open wound A bleeding heart How right you are The tea is strong, Like solid gold A needle's bond With no remorse, The tithes are gone Upright, Upright To end, to End That's right, I said Just end it I said “Better me than him” Another dinner with a friend A fear for framework, Or indifference again In this selection or Collection, Bears and end to End And End to end Upright And End to End Upright And End to end I dont know, if i want to know you I dont love like I want to love but I watched him raise the dead, Just so he had a friend I don't know if you've been told, but I don't love like I want to love, and I often raise the dead, Just so i can have a friend To play with It's darker in here, Oh, It's sufferable So I just want to know I live in a haunted house With a cat and a mouse But the old cat's gone, now the mouse tends to travel a lot I've nothing to haunt, (I'm a ghost in Toronto) A car show, A hollow heart, A starving artist, A scar; Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue So it goes: The stars on his face remind her of him So it goes: We all want Out of body Out of Mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Why (Why-Why) Would you leave me to wake (Why) In a terrible world Without you in it (A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck, It's very simple) I tried to settle on subtle saffron I tried to love you, Then I moved on Do you ever wonder about philosophy? Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you Secretly? Do you ever dream of it? (I'm just a ghost in a mansion) I haven't even had breakfast I've practically been dead half a century I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist What a bargain! You started it! I'm not arguing. I lost that bet, you know. Clearly. Is it that obvious? How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis? He lost the bet but won the race. Whatever that means Okay. Who the fuck wrote this. [No show of hands] Nobody?! Thats our GOD. That's your God. yes. I thought Beyonce was your God. That's what I just SAID. We must infiltrate. But how. That which binds up through time The chemical, physical and biological nature of love An exploration of the meaning of meaning 1st, Second, and Third Movement Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo And bagpipes! And my trumpet! That sounds more like a french horn Or a “Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten” Well, not entirely Impenetrable *stabs with sword* KRISTEN SHAAL Woah. MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever) Dang. TINA FEY (or whoever) (At least it wasn't me) Right. –all i'm sayin. Wait, who got stabbed? Whoever. Not Jimmy Fallon. No. His untimely death is later. How much later? I don't– __ Meanwhile Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you. Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me. So it's settled. $20 on Magic, please. Fair. Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where Yup. SHH. WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS. No, it isn't. What. I Came into blank street Tryna see a [?!] all coffee No cream please Scream supacree But really you can't see me Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard Feed me b Seymour Ain't tryna be gory Corey Hate to inform you I I'm stuck at the rock I'm stuck at the bottom Youre stuck at the top Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then! Work harder and more often Fuck love and whole foods cause they All Flashback music London … …. …… ………. Who else has seen this. Nobody, just us. We must burn this at once. I wholeheartedly agree. [Remarkably huge bonfire.] Did u make copies. ya . Ooh, that's cool. Very creative. Wow Nice. … … …. Have you seen this? No. Look at it. …ilikeit. Sensations of sadness Salacious arpeggios Arduous agressions Transitions– progressive Incendiary imagery Electric Synthesis Intentionally focused, configurative –Literally Skrillex. Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him. Just shoot the nigga. Ooh, he's so cute. Keep him away from me. C'mon. Yo–I can't. Fine, i'll do it. *sighs indifferently* You could move a mountain; I could stop the tide In a flash; All at once It was a long, long drive I miss the coast (Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine) You could move a mountain Keep me from going insane (If I was inside, you'd) Keep me from going outside (if I was in, though, you'd) Keep me from going in, Under the circumstances I can't stand it, but I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters Waiting for someone who Never shows up, so So Suffer no longer I wouldn't want to want you, if i wondered more about it At the surface, Or way under Nothing wants what nothing gets And noting gets nothing Anyways, so Here's for the abstract Stream of conscious Nothing moves mountains, but You could move mountains In a flash, and I turned the tide on I saw the tidal With my ghost And twelve apostles I've been waiting for Godot For so long I still think He might come Haha, what a charade We all are Huh I love you What was that? I've run off Huh I love you What was that? I've run off I finally fell out of love Look, I broke my own heart Sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I bite my lip, Fall into bed Maybe it's a hex Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment I've been waking up with someone, But going in the world alone, eh It's never run to remember where you've been After a binder You would think with so much in my system I'd have reached indifference, Well, didn't you I didn't yet, In fact, I'm still tying one one, With a friend At the moment Well perhaps, just perhaps, It might be time that I let you go then? Don't be so chauvinistic. Isn't this a barmitvah? Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions To no exact conclusions More Complications I could just FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER. He says it's a pluck, But i see it's percussive If I could give less of a fuck Then I probably coudn't. Woah How many wishes I've granted This festival season How many shifts that I've written through Sitting on busses and subways Looking suspicious as ever and probably smelling atrocious. INT. BLINK FITNESS. …I'm not using that shower. I thought I'd be more employable After sorting some, But it seems as though The more there is The more there isn't And the deeper it gets –the number of spirits I've risen Since getting here Is steady rising It's no surprise I've got more friends that died Than have lived here. It's been a very long year But I fucked it off quickly I'll never listen to Skrillex again If you paid me, But i'll play it In my mixes Depending Fuck it, There my brain went Down the drain again I've been training over a year And i'm still not Kayla fit I'm sick of it I've been waiting for Godot Since the year that I wrote it I've been wearing these bracelets for years Still haven't seen frozen, So i can't let it go yet Oh shit. This is all a distraction The underground is massive Another Michaelangelo Anglo Saxon anonymous I want an erroneous daughter Or Androgynous, Whatever These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors All I ever was, Was a disappointment I got a smile like Madonna's But none of the love at all I got a back end like Beyonce's But just some of the talent “What's an ass for If i'm cellibate, anyhow?” I asked God, She said, “Eat A Taco” I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that The older I get The straighter I am, And dammit He's sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I write books, And mind my own business It's impossible to whitewash all of us But I love rock and roll Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy. So?! SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION: I don't wanna do this. My heart's so broken I could hold it on chopsticks You ever wonder what love is I've forgotten I'm having a hard time holding it all in I'm an artist I've got colorful emotional troubles Others love it Lil biiiiiitttzzz Man, fuck new york. I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown– Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street: I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes And I see this like– Box of birds. No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box I'm like “what. Birds.” Not just birds, though, Colorful birds– Like, straight up parakeets. I'm like, “What. the fuck” Then, before I can even look up– This dude–I just see his leg, though, He just– kicks the box of birds. “what.” Like, towards me, and i'm like “Okay, alright.” Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan Adjacent to Trader Joes And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds, And he has this bowl So I look at the guy, And I look at the bowl, And what's in the bowl. IT'S MORE BIRDS. “OH NO!' I say. Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan “Oh no!” Cause it's not just a bowl of birds It's a bowl of PIGEONS. Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl. I'm like “Oh no.” And then i cross into trader joes. “Yep, right neighborhood.” Alright, here's the plan. where did you come from. nowhere. someone shoot that lady. DILLON FRANCIS I'm your worst nightmare. Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare. GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER. Oh, man. DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood. Try being famous over here! Motherfucker! More on that later. Look, I don't even like you like that! That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change. *hangs head* I'm am not ashamed. I just might watch porn in the morning. Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around. Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis. The one with brown eyes. He's the trustworthy one. Well good luck with that. (The one that doesn't exist.) I didn't take the train today; I thought I was going to jump Thought i'd better play it safe Filled up my shopping cart, Got everything I wanted Everything and more Might not look my best but At least I'm not gone Come on, six o clock I just want to be alone She's got the gift of gab Grew up two blocks from here In the ghetto I've heard it all before But love, my heart's so broken And you turn me on some I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector. That shit is like crack to me. Oh no. Who is this about. I'll give you one guess. I don't have any guesses. It's five past Christ I just opened my eyelids And rolled back my mind I tried to find you, after all, didn't I I might have designed you (On second thought I did) I might need time (if I believed in it) can't apologize for being human, but I wear your eyes all over the world I wear the memories of many girls And many nights Suffer the consequences Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering Wait, where was I again? I was almost, Almost a person There's so much to learn from And too much to learn here I've been fighting off demons, Fighting the feeling of Falling in love again But I can't fall in Cause I never fell out Afterward, I went past it And on to the next one I might double back though– To find that I hadn't quite left in the– To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place To find that we haven't quite met yet At least not the right way It's probably a lesson I might miss the lecture I've got other plans today Fuck, so it is Skrillex. Not really exactly. On second thought, at first glance Better illusion, than hypnotism But if I can't be like that Why be anything at all If not a model Or artist Brought it up at the wrong time (You would want her) I wasn't one for improper introductions Or impromptu arrangements There, there It's just getting better So better not whine about it I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood, Cause nobody loves me I've been alone, not lonely And never alone as long as I like Cause they all just surround me Now I know what it's like to be famous Without all the money and glamour– Turns out, that's the part that alluring I'd better find out what I did this for In the next downpour I'll be soaked to my torso exactly Aren't you proud of me (not really) I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options As time rolled on I got worse at making up stories As it turns out I didn't have to make them up at all They were happening to me So truly and honestly All my job was to “Mark My Words” Said The God Quite astonishing literally But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren I wouldn't bring it up, except The photographic evidence was damaging At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such Then again, —I've never even been on an album cover. There you have it I've been lusting over Several other Talented masters and Handsome disasters But matter of fact It just started with One random – Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences Since this, Random is just as likely as foreign a concept As such Immaculate conception, This contraption At first glance, a sonogram Play it back, Caught in the act again Cause in the act again I'll probably make a list of Weird shit I want to do with him When I think of it in public (That's usually where it happens) And if anything is random –It's that. ILLUMINATI DREAMS: PART III Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. That was cool. We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins— Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box. I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together— But he was over her and super loyal to me — It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob: Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend— Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob; I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend; So he broke it off with her— Sonny never woke up There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together. Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway. Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love. It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon. It felt warm and good. Lmfao wtf is wrong with you SOMETHING, obviously. It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but — A clock stops me in my tracks A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground I love the sparkles On Rockaway boulevard, Making it harder to ponder The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving The servicemen and servers of the surface Boughroughs further than Manhattan At the center lil biiiiiitzzzzs — Bro, I love the cops in New York All the cops in the east are bar none top notch I'm not kidding I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot I'm not joking I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking That's not even the worst part! the worst part was, they were looking back at me! All of em! I was like: “what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “ V.O. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry– So instead of running two miles on the treadmill I went three– But I still wanted to punch something. So I lifted some. I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running… But I don't care. I'd rather weighless, and have a man, Than keep lifting like this, And be a man. Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one. Sometimes, depending on the way I dress, I'm mistaken for one– Or at least– Give off an air of general confusion. But I don't mind. Not that much. I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like. It might take a bit of maintenance, But i'm determined to persist I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman. But maybe, if i'm lucky, or if I try hard enough, I'll have an idea of what it's like to have become one. I'm counting my blessings. All of them. I'm saying my prayers. A lot. And I'm crossing my fingers– that the longer, harder, and faster I run, The closer I get to actually living. That is, To be loved. I wish I could take my eyes out and wash them wit soap. Oh. I wish i didn't know you existed; I wish I Didn't know how to love you God, I spoke to soon I opened up all of the wrong doors, I'm done for, You know, I'm not really good at nothing Nothing at all I wish i didn't know at all You were ever born; But there you are, a son of God, And I'm just rolling along, writing anthems, and carrying on as if everything happened at once But it hasn't Not yet, I'm still breaking my neck on the alter If you want blood I've got it Jump the broom, But watch your heart I've got a dagger full of them; You'd think i had it backwards, But that's the hard part If it were the other way around Oh But it's not No I don't want to love anyone, anymore, God Take me off of this rock Throw me head first overboard Push me in front of a bus; Or give me a heart attack I've had it harder before, But that was over there, I'm omnipresent. I could write forever to this (Ten years ago) I put the book with the devil on front Into my row A collection of noveelties An erection, selective To say the least But please, forgive me I'm veen on my knees And barely breathing, Let it simmer, Simmer down please settle, way below the belt Above you and Beyond this, But I'll never firget what you said (i love you) I'll nevr forget what you said And I'll never look back, dad And I'll never go back ther And I'll neve have blue eyes And I'll never have blonde hair And I'll never have white skin And I'll never be better At least not at this partl But maybe the other I'm just friendless I like it My security blanket The party i wasnt invited to My lies are compulsive; But not quite pathological But the girl was obnoxious And my spirit tyrannical I'm an animal But I pray a lot And used to fast as much Now that Ive been determined to be an deplorable Why not just kill myself? I'd be better off after With a kitchen, a shower I'd forget about money; Getting paid by the hour. I'd be better off anyway I need a vacation It was all in my head, anyway Then again, so is heaven Amen A…men A…men… It's a dangerous game we play But i'd rather not kill myself over you (Again) I'd rather not kill myself again I'd rather not kill myself Could be a coincidence But I doubt it, Since I don't believe in them But I could be getting my lines crossed My rum mixed with vodka And getting my ass whooped more often That's not a metaphor: I'm not a fighter It was metaphysical before, But now its atrocious This night'll be a lot longer If i remain hungry But I wanna look like Madonna! (minus, of course, the minor difference between us) I hadn't understood what an age gap meant, Until jumping it (hardee har har, that's a good one) I'm not even in my body right now; But i'm in my head Shut up, Becky! Isn't it bad enough, Your society? Fuck, I'm losing my mind Just not being blonde enough Or just not being wanted, or something (Loved) Playing the victim, But hey, At least i'm playing something! All these instruments are just too expensive I was just thinking how Photosensitive epilepsy and synestesia Might be deadly But I said “till death do us part” So i think that's what I need I thought my suicide ended it Now I'm in hell with him But I'd end it over and over again Just to be rid of him (yes, i'm serious) Fuck, man, Madonna's gonna kill— For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide: The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow [An Inspiring Story] Had I exacted this science, For starters, On anyone else but A circle of stars, I forewarn you, I wouldn't be honored as such Just a disheartened philosopher, A nonpartisan biocentric; Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET. what. WE'RE STILL WAITING. huh? DRAKE BELL How long do i have to keep doing this for? ILLUMINATI Till the end DRAKE BELL Whens the end. ILLUMINATI When it is. Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment. *squinting* –and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky. *squinting even harder* –No… –No…(?) No. …No. Ugh! Try not to hold your breath. *holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.* I told you, I need this. *attempt to block telepathy had failed* You don't need anything. *squinting exactly alike* The eyes really are windows… Maybe I should jump out then. –or jump in. dayumm . sike . Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project. How much acid did you put in the water. Enough Fuck, I hate my life. Which bottle is it in. [beat] All of them. *facepalm* Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do. I wouldn't quite call it that. I would. Don't be gross. I'm you. You're gross. Touche. I don't think we should be doing this. We shouldn't be. Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp? Nice. He's like 100 years old. Ah, to be young again. So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady. Really fucking old. Like, how old, though. Really, really fucking old. Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess. [She dances by] *gasp* Is that her?! Yeus. She's young again! It appears she has procured a body! Presumably! I must do the same! At once! At one! Lol who are these dudes. Just wait for it. Hurmph. Nrh. *sigh of deep frustration, facepalm* *falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment* Oh good, they're here. Who's they? I don't know! Hm. Suhp. Nice rabbit hole. *shrugs nonscalontly* On telephone) She bought a what a Whole Foods Market? (In public, trying not to be heard) A penis shaped sweet potato. A WHAT? [Speak up] A– penis shaped sweet potato. A WH– A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO. (Everyone stops and stares) …it was delicious. Nice. I don't know Anymore What to do With myself I'm a mess On the Inside and out –wanna cry about it He's a rock and roll sex God I don't know What to think Anymore No, don't ask My opinion, It gets old Afterawhile, And after awhile I'll cry about it, but Right now, I've gotta get out of this Gotta get out! I gotta get out of this project. Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ? I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing. Ugh, what do you want. Listen, Ill make it quicK: It's bee quick. Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what. Or what. That's all I want to know. Know what? When? When what? [Stopping] Are you serious. What. If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it. MAybe it's not. Yeah, I wish. Hey! wishes get granted– –I said that. –You said that. Look– Don't touch me. Sorry. No you're not. –if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how. Oh, the “How” Yeah. You want the “How” Just–yes. If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How” Well, do you know how? You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. Well. Okay. “Okay”? I'm not a human being. Oh, right. UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN. Well, that's your grandmother, so Great-great– Whatever. You exist because she exists. Existed. She was dead before I was born! Actually, that's not true. Beg your pardon. …Ever had your palm read before. All of your kids– “kids “ Read: Lovechildren. Ahem. Are in this room And– Fuck that I'm not writing this scene, It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written. No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about, Is that so? No! It's funny but– But what? It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me. What is UP. What IS up? Have you ever thought about dating a writer? No. Aw, come on… Actually yes–once Once is all I need! Not you. Daww… I dated a writer once in college. What, really? Really. But that was in college. I was in college. He was a writer. Oh, that's hot. Not Exactly. He worked for Disney. Wait–he what? Hm. I almost forgot about that. DISNEY We didn't [simultaneously] MICKEY MOUSE I didn't. Well, what happened. Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was… Flashback: Wait, you're 17. SEVENTEEN?? What's th difference! A YEAR! *purses lips* …or like, a couple months… *face* …or like–midnight on your birthday! *squints* But not 17! *shrugs* Hollywood Is Hollywood. Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story What's “New Hollywood?” My level is indifference, Benevolence, inward violence Ending obsessions and arrangements, Incessant sexual repression, Exponential explanations –Of the world i've never lived in, but created, apparently. Now, i”m unhinged Haven't made a decision on whether I should just binger, or Find a new mister, Or end it I'm still sitting Stuck on ‘concentrical' Now I'm unhinged And it's just been a minute I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but I should stay clear, is it Everclear or Here, son, Just have another bottle Now i'm not stuck on Nothing and no one I cant even see movies anymore All i see is actors, All i hear is conversations I've already written in Closed conversations with critics Dressed as Angels All i see is Camera Angles The city of angels But my algorithm Must have build new york for me, From consciousness or something Sometimes just apartment hunting is Simply avigation and, of course Expanding the map It's just a 3D phenomenon, But all I want is just a hug, You know No you don't know. I've been stuck at concentrical Stopped at Columbus Circle, and The harsher the winter, The fonder of the west I am The girls scream in the audience, I hiss “My sentiments exactly” My sentiments exactly. Keep them all away from me, I'll love them at a distance I only want the music, anyway I only want the music And the music is All anyone knows about her, really Even her mother Who loves her, But at a distance And the music is, The only think she knows, anymore Even the words are just Color that accents it. Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af Right now is corny af. Yeah, i guess. LOOK AT THESE CREDITS: Oh my God. LOOK AT EM. OKAY, ALRIGHT. YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET. What's a “Foley editor” NOBODY. Well he's in the credits. Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck “A foley editor” What IS that. I don't know, Mr. Hollywood. Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood. Well, not literally– Of course not. Wait, is that a thing. If it was, would I be it? [Super Nerdy Writer] I mean, you'd at least be the poster child. Okay, my turn. HI THERE, FACE HERE. *inconsolable screaming* Holy shit, the 90's was RAW. Okay, so your childhood is terrifying. Just wait till we get to the *More inconsolable screaming* Lol. Look. What up bro. It's Juggalos. lol . After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string. Woah. Yeah. Do you think it's aliens Probably. Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know. Right. Lol. maybe you're the alien. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. We know you know where it is. I DO NOT. You're hiding it. HIDE! THAT THING?! So you do know what it is OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it. BRFORR Quick! HIde! OKay. THAT THING IS ENORMOUS. Hm. Smaller. OK. I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5 Seven Bananas… FUCK, MAN. What's this dumb game. *takes shot* it IS dumb. You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana. Oh no. This is fucked up. *barfs* You wanna play? Nah, I'm good. Diplo. What. You have 57 children. *nods* Never look at me again. *hangs head* Go that way, with your children. Dillon Francis. Yes. You have 8 kids. )That's believable) Oh, wow. *You have 84 kids. WHAT! He has more kids than me! Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black. Go say hello. Uhh. Now: Wait, where are you going. The the auditorium. There's an auditorium? For what. AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common. What the fuck. How does he have more kids than me?! Are you serious?! Whose kids are THESE. Mind your business. Let me guess. There's still busses pulling up. I know. And a helicopter! Oh, that's just the guest of honor. Are you serious. SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert. *landing on helipad* LOL OhGod. MEANWHRILE. Whats in here. NOTHING. Just GET IN THE BOX. NO. GET– NO IN THE BOX WElcome to Jack In The Box Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking? Uhhh. Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos. Eugh Extra squirt. Gross! And uh– You want anything. I'm good. Suit yourself. Best tacos ever. __ Wait, hold on. “Wait what” I think i might be getting tired, or something. Right…tired, “or something.” Or something. RIght. *blow horn* * * * * * * * Do you ever get lonely. No. Oh… But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed. Oh! Moving on. Watch this. *snipes* Nice. Now check it out, that's where she respawns. (from behind) Not always. Oh shit. *stop*camping* DOUBLE KILL. Nice. Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map. Would you shut up. You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment? …no. Too bad. You're hired. …hired for what. You applied on indeed, right? Yeah, as a janitor. NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor. What! Here's your camera. (it is a cheap disposable) Are you serious. You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon. Can't I just use my iPhone? Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed? …no. Then NO. … “The Bad Boys Of Hollywood” Prepare To Be Canceled the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness. I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. What's that? Shut up Don't ever look at me again. If i could take my eyes out, I would. No, need–I can do it for you. Haha, charade you are. You're a disaster. That's your excuse. Yeah, what's yours? Under the indifferential circumstances– “ooh–lala” I'm not as partial to making excuses as –as to what? Kissing ass? Only cute ones. Let it settle in, way down below deck Where the honor rollers are, The high rollers, far above you You wanna know how long the ride is? Wanna know how far you've come If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you Love is not enough The seas are rough An open wound A bleeding heart How right you are The tea is strong, Like solid gold A needle's bond With no remorse, The tithes are gone Upright, Upright To end, to End That's right, I said Just end it I said “Better me than him” Another dinner with a friend A fear for framework, Or indifference again In this selection or Collection, Bears and end to End And End to end Upright And End to End Upright And End to end I dont know, if i want to know you I dont love like I want to love but I watched him raise the dead, Just so he had a friend I don't know if you've been told, but I don't love like I want to love, and I often raise the dead, Just so i can have a friend To play with It's darker in here, Oh, It's sufferable So I just want to know I live in a haunted house With a cat and a mouse But the old cat's gone, now the mouse tends to travel a lot I've nothing to haunt, (I'm a ghost in Toronto) A car show, A hollow heart, A starving artist, A scar; Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue So it goes: The stars on his face remind her of him So it goes: We all want Out of body Out of Mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Why (Why-Why) Would you leave me to wake (Why) In a terrible world Without you in it (A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck, It's very simple) I tried to settle on subtle saffron I tried to love you, Then I moved on Do you ever wonder about philosophy? Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you Secretly? Do you ever dream of it? (I'm just a ghost in a mansion) I haven't even had breakfast I've practically been dead half a century I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist What a bargain! You started it! I'm not arguing. I lost that bet, you know. Clearly. Is it that obvious? How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis? He lost the bet but won the race. Whatever that means Okay. Who the fuck wrote this. [No show of hands] Nobody?! Thats our GOD. That's your God. yes. I thought Beyonce was your God. That's what I just SAID. We must infiltrate. But how. That which binds up through time The chemical, physical and biological nature of love An exploration of the meaning of meaning 1st, Second, and Third Movement Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo And bagpipes! And my trumpet! That sounds more like a french horn Or a Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten Well, not entirely Impenetrable *stabs with sword* KRISTEN SHAAL Woah. MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever) Dang. TINA FEY (or whoever) (At least it wasn't me) Right. –all i'm sayin. Wait, who got stabbed? Whoever. Not Jimmy Fallon. No. His untimely death is later. How much later? I don't– __ Meanwhile Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you. Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me. So it's settled. $20 on Magic, please. Fair. Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where Yup. SHH. WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS. No, it isn't. What. I Came into blank street Tryna see a [?!] all coffee No cream please Scream supacree But really you can't see me Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard Feed me b Seymour Ain't tryna be gory Corey Hate to inform you I I'm stuck at the rock I'm stuck at the bottom Youre stuck at the top Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then! Work harder and more often Fuck love and whole foods cause they All Flashback music London … …. …… ………. Who else has seen this. Nobody, just us. We must burn this at once. I wholeheartedly agree. [Remarkably huge bonfire.] Did u make copies. ya . Ooh, that's cool. Very creative. Wow Nice. … … …. Have you seen this? No. Look at it. …ilikeit. Sensations of sadness Salacious arpeggios Arduous agressions Transitions– progressive Incendiary imagery Electric Synthesis Intentionally focused, configurative –Literally Skrillex. Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him. Just shoot the nigga. Ooh, he's so cute. Keep him away from me. C'mon. Yo–I can't. Fine, i'll do it. *sighs indifferently* You could move a mountain; I could stop the tide In a flash; All at once It was a long, long drive I miss the coast (Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine) You could move a mountain Keep me from going insane (If I was inside, you'd) Keep me from going outside (if I was in, though, you'd) Keep me from going in, Under the circumstances I can't stand it, but I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters Waiting for someone who Never shows up, so So Suffer no longer I wouldn't want to want you, if i wondered more about it At the surface, Or way under Nothing wants what nothing gets And noting gets nothing Anyways, so Here's for the abstract Stream of conscious Nothing moves mountains, but You could move mountains In a flash, and I turned the tide on I saw the tidal With my ghost And twelve apostles I've been waiting for Godot For so long I still think He might come Haha, what a charade We all are Huh I love you What was that? I've run off Huh I love you What was that? I've run off I finally fell out of love Look, I broke my own heart Sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I bite my lip, Fall into bed Maybe it's a hex Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment I've been waking up with someone, But going in the world alone, eh It's never run to remember where you've been After a binder You would think with so much in my system I'd have reached indifference, Well, didn't you I didn't yet, In fact, I'm still tying one one, With a friend At the moment Well perhaps, just perhaps, It might be time that I let you go then? Don't be so chauvinistic. Isn't this a barmitvah? Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions To no exact conclusions More Complications I could just FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER. He says it's a pluck, But i see it's percussive If I could give less of a fuck Then I probably coudn't. Woah How many wishes I've granted This festival season How many shifts that I've written through Sitting on busses and subways Looking suspicious as ever and probably smelling atrocious. INT. BLINK FITNESS. …I'm not using that shower. I thought I'd be more employable After sorting some, But it seems as though The more there is The more there isn't And the deeper it gets –the number of spirits I've risen Since getting here Is steady rising It's no surprise I've got more friends that died Than have lived here. It's been a very long year But I fucked it off quickly I'll never listen to Skrillex again If you paid me, But i'll play it In my mixes Depending Fuck it, There my brain went Down the drain again I've been training over a year And i'm still not Kayla fit I'm sick of it I've been waiting for Godot Since the year that I wrote it I've been wearing these bracelets for years Still haven't seen frozen, So i can't let it go yet Oh shit. This is all a distraction The underground is massive Another Michaelangelo Anglo Saxon anonymous I want an erroneous daughter Or Androgynous, Whatever These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors All I ever was, Was a disappointment I got a smile like Madonna's But none of the love at all I got a back end like Beyonce's But just some of the talent “What's an ass for If i'm cellibate, anyhow?” I asked God, She said, “Eat A Taco” I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that The older I get The straighter I am, And dammit He's sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I write books, And mind my own business It's impossible to whitewash all of us But I love rock and roll Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy. So?! SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION: I don't wanna do this. My heart's so broken I could hold it on chopsticks You ever wonder what love is I've forgotten I'm having a hard time holding it all in I'm an artist I've got colorful emotional troubles Others love it Lil biiiiiitttzzz Man, fuck new york. I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown– Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street: I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes And I see this like– Box of birds. No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box I'm like “what. Birds.” Not just birds, though, Colorful birds– Like, straight up parakeets. I'm like, “What. the fuck” Then, before I can even look up– This dude–I just see his leg, though, He just– kicks the box of birds. “what.” Like, towards me, and i'm like “Okay, alright.” Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan Adjacent to Trader Joes And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds, And he has this bowl So I look at the guy, And I look at the bowl, And what's in the bowl. IT'S MORE BIRDS. “OH NO!' I say. Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan “Oh no!” Cause it's not just a bowl of birds It's a bowl of PIGEONS. Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl. I'm like “Oh no.” And then i cross into trader joes. “Yep, right neighborhood.” Alright, here's the plan. where did you come from. nowhere. someone shoot that lady. DILLON FRANCIS I'm your worst nightmare. Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare. GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER. Oh, man. DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood. Try being famous over here! Motherfucker! More on that later. Look, I don't even like you like that! That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change. *hangs head* I'm am not ashamed. I just might watch porn in the morning. Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around. Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis. The one with brown eyes. He's the trustworthy one. Well good luck with that. (The one that doesn't exist.) I didn't take the train today; I thought I was going to jump Thought i'd better play it safe Filled up my shopping cart, Got everything I wanted Everything and more Might not look my best but At least I'm not gone Come on, six o clock I just want to be alone She's got the gift of gab Grew up two blocks from here In the ghetto I've heard it all before But love, my heart's so broken And you turn me on some I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector. That shit is like crack to me. Oh no. Who is this about. I'll give you one guess. I don't have any guesses. It's five past Christ I just opened my eyelids And rolled back my mind I tried to find you, after all, didn't I I might have designed you (On second thought I did) I might need time (if I believed in it) can't apologize for being human, but I wear your eyes all over the world I wear the memories of many girls And many nights Suffer the consequences Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering Wait, where was I again? I was almost, Almost a person There's so much to learn from And too much to learn here I've been fighting off demons, Fighting the feeling of Falling in love again But I can't fall in Cause I never fell out Afterward, I went past it And on to the next one I might double back though– To find that I hadn't quite left in the– To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place To find that we haven't quite met yet At least not the right way It's probably a lesson I might miss the lecture I've got other plans today Fuck, so it is Skrillex. Not really exactly. On second thought, at first glance Better illusion, than hypnotism But if I can't be like that Why be anything at all If not a model Or artist Brought it up at the wrong time (You would want her) I wasn't one for improper introductions Or impromptu arrangements There, there It's just getting better So better not whine about it I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood, Cause nobody loves me I've been alone, not lonely And never alone as long as I like Cause they all just surround me Now I know what it's like to be famous Without all the money and glamour– Turns out, that's the part that alluring I'd better find out what I did this for In the next downpour I'll be soaked to my torso exactly Aren't you proud of me (not really) I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options As time rolled on I got worse at making up stories As it turns out I didn't have to make them up at all They were happening to me So truly and honestly All my job was to “Mark My Words” Said The God Quite astonishing literally But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren I wouldn't bring it up, except The photographic evidence was damaging At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such Then again, —I've never even been on an album cover. There you have it I've been lusting over Several other Talented masters and Handsome disasters But matter of fact It just started with One random – Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences Since this, Random is just as likely as foreign a concept As such Immaculate conception, This contraption At first glance, a sonogram Play it back, Caught in the act again Cause in the act again I'll probably make a list of Weird shit I want to do with him When I think of it in public (That's usually where it happens) And if anything is random –It's that. ILLUMINATI DREAMS: PART III Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. That was cool. We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins— Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box. I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together— But he was over her and super loyal to me — It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob: Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend— Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob; I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend; So he broke it off with her— Sonny never woke up There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together. Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway. Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love. It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon. It felt warm and good. Lmfao wtf is wrong with you SOMETHING, obviously. It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but — A clock stops me in my tracks A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground I love the sparkles On Rockaway boulevard, Making it harder to ponder The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving The servicemen and servers of the surface Boughroughs further than Manhattan At the center lil biiiiiitzzzzs — Bro, I love the cops in New York All the cops in the east are bar none top notch I'm not kidding I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot I'm not joking I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking That's not even the worst part! the worst part was, they were looking back at me! All of em! I was like: “what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “ V.O. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry– So instead of running two miles on the treadmill I went three– But I still wanted to punch something. So I lifted some. I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running… But I don't care. I'd rather weighless, and have a man, Than keep lifting like this, And be a man. Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one. Sometimes, depending on the way I dress, I'm mistaken for one– Or at least– Give off an air of general confusion. But I don't mind. Not that much. I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like. It might take a bit of maintenance, But i'm determined to persist I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman. But maybe, if i'm lu

For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide: The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow [An Inspiring Story] Had I exacted this science, For starters, On anyone else but A circle of stars, I forewarn you, I wouldn't be honored as such Just a disheartened philosopher, A nonpartisan biocentric; Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET. what. WE'RE STILL WAITING. huh? DRAKE BELL How long do i have to keep doing this for? ILLUMINATI Till the end DRAKE BELL Whens the end. ILLUMINATI When it is. Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment. *squinting* –and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky. *squinting even harder* –No… –No…(?) No. …No. Ugh! Try not to hold your breath. *holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.* I told you, I need this. *attempt to block telepathy had failed* You don't need anything. *squinting exactly alike* The eyes really are windows… Maybe I should jump out then. –or jump in. dayumm . sike . Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project. How much acid did you put in the water. Enough Fuck, I hate my life. Which bottle is it in. [beat] All of them. *facepalm* Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do. I wouldn't quite call it that. I would. Don't be gross. I'm you. You're gross. Touche. I don't think we should be doing this. We shouldn't be. Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp? Nice. He's like 100 years old. Ah, to be young again. So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady? Really fucking old. Like, how old, though. Really, really fucking old. Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess. [She dances by] *gasp* Is that her?! Yeus. She's young again! It appears she has procured a body! Presumably! I must do the same! At once! At one! Lol who are these dudes. Just wait for it. Hurmph. Nrh. *sigh of deep frustration, facepalm* *falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment* Oh good, they're here. Who's they? I don't know! Hm. Suhp. Nice rabbit hole. *shrugs nonscalontly* On telephone) She bought a what a Whole Foods Market? (In public, trying not to be heard) A penis shaped sweet potato. A WHAT? [Speak up] A– penis shaped sweet potato. A WH– A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO. (Everyone stops and stares) …it was delicious. Nice. I don't know Anymore What to do With myself I'm a mess On the Inside and out –wanna cry about it He's a rock and roll sex God I don't know What to think Anymore No, don't ask My opinion, It gets old Afterawhile, And after awhile I'll cry about it, but Right now, I've gotta get out of this Gotta get out! I gotta get out of this project. Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ? I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing. Ugh, what do you want. Listen, Ill make it quicK: It's bee quick. Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what. Or what. That's all I want to know. Know what? When? When what? [Stopping] Are you serious. What. If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it. MAybe it's not. Yeah, I wish. Hey! wishes get granted– –I said that. –You said that. Look– Don't touch me. Sorry. No you're not. –if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how. Oh, the “How” Yeah. You want the “How” Just–yes. If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How” Well, do you know how? You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. Well. Okay. “Okay”? I'm not a human being. Oh, right. UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN. Well, that's your grandmother, so Great-great– Whatever. You exist because she exists. Existed. She was dead before I was born! Actually, that's not true. Beg your pardon. …Ever had your palm read before. All of your kids– “kids “ Read: Lovechildren. Ahem. Are in this room And– Fuck that I'm not writing this scene, It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written. No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about, Is that so? No! It's funny but– But what? It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me. What is UP. What IS up? Have you ever thought about dating a writer? No. Aw, come on… Actually yes–once Once is all I need! Not you. Daww… I dated a writer once in college. What, really? Really. But that was in college. I was in college. He was a writer. Oh, that's hot. Not Exactly. He worked for Disney. Wait–he what? Hm. I almost forgot about that. DISNEY We didn't [simultaneously] MICKEY MOUSE I didn't. Well, what happened. Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was… Flashback: Wait, you're 17. SEVENTEEN?? What's th difference! A YEAR! *purses lips* …or like, a couple months… *face* …or like–midnight on your birthday! *squints* But not 17! *shrugs* Hollywood Is Hollywood. Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story What's “New Hollywood?” My level is indifference, Benevolence, inward violence Ending obsessions and arrangements, Incessant sexual repression, Exponential explanations –Of the world i've never lived in, but created, apparently. Now, i”m unhinged Haven't made a decision on whether I should just binger, or Find a new mister, Or end it I'm still sitting Stuck on ‘concentrical' Now I'm unhinged And it's just been a minute I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but I should stay clear, is it Everclear or Here, son, Just have another bottle Now i'm not stuck on Nothing and no one I cant even see movies anymore All i see is actors, All i hear is conversations I've already written in Closed conversations with critics Dressed as Angels All i see is Camera Angles The city of angels But my algorithm Must have build new york for me, From consciousness or something Sometimes just apartment hunting is Simply avigation and, of course Expanding the map It's just a 3D phenomenon, But all I want is just a hug, You know No you don't know. I've been stuck at concentrical Stopped at Columbus Circle, and The harsher the winter, The fonder of the west I am The girls scream in the audience, I hiss “My sentiments exactly” My sentiments exactly. Keep them all away from me, I'll love them at a distance I only want the music, anyway I only want the music And the music is All anyone knows about her, really Even her mother Who loves her, But at a distance And the music is, The only think she knows, anymore Even the words are just Color that accents it. Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af Right now is corny af. Yeah, i guess. LOOK AT THESE CREDITS: Oh my God. LOOK AT EM. OKAY, ALRIGHT. YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET. What's a “Foley editor” NOBODY. Well he's in the credits. Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck “A foley editor” What IS that. I don't know, Mr. Hollywood. Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood. Well, not literally– Of course not. Wait, is that a thing. If it was, would I be it? [Super Nerdy Writer] I mean, you'd at least be the poster child. Okay, my turn. HI THERE, FACE HERE. *inconsolable screaming* Holy shit, the 90's was RAW. Okay, so your childhood is terrifying. Just wait till we get to the *More inconsolable screaming* Lol. Look. What up bro. It's Juggalos. lol . After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string. Woah. Yeah. Do you think it's aliens Probably. Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know. Right. Lol. maybe you're the alien. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. We know you know where it is. I DO NOT. You're hiding it. HIDE! THAT THING?! So you do know what it is OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it. BRFORR Quick! HIde! OKay. THAT THING IS ENORMOUS. Hm. Smaller. OK. I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5 Seven Bananas… FUCK, MAN. What's this dumb game. *takes shot* it IS dumb. You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana. Oh no. This is fucked up. *barfs* You wanna play? Nah, I'm good. Diplo. What. You have 57 children. *nods* Never look at me again. *hangs head* Go that way, with your children. Dillon Francis. Yes. You have 8 kids. )That's believable) Oh, wow. *You have 84 kids. WHAT! He has more kids than me! Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black. Go say hello. Uhh. Now: Wait, where are you going. The the auditorium. There's an auditorium? For what. AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common. What the fuck. How does he have more kids than me?! Are you serious?! Whose kids are THESE. Mind your business. Let me guess. There's still busses pulling up. I know. And a helicopter! Oh, that's just the guest of honor. Are you serious. SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert. *landing on helipad* LOL OhGod. MEANWHRILE. Whats in here. NOTHING. Just GET IN THE BOX. NO. GET– NO IN THE BOX WElcome to Jack In The Box Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking? Uhhh. Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos. Eugh Extra squirt. Gross! And uh– You want anything. I'm good. Suit yourself. Best tacos ever. __ Wait, hold on. “Wait what” I think i might be getting tired, or something. Right…tired, “or something.” Or something. RIght. *blow horn* * * * * * * * Do you ever get lonely. No. Oh… But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed. Oh! Moving on. Watch this. *snipes* Nice. Now check it out, that's where she respawns. (from behind) Not always. Oh shit. *stop*camping* DOUBLE KILL. Nice. Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map. Would you shut up. You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment? …no. Too bad. You're hired. …hired for what. You applied on indeed, right? Yeah, as a janitor. NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor. What! Here's your camera. (it is a cheap disposable) Are you serious. You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon. Can't I just use my iPhone? Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed? …no. Then NO. … “The Bad Boys Of Hollywood” Prepare To Be Canceled the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness. I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. What's that? Shut up Don't ever look at me again. If i could take my eyes out, I would. No, need–I can do it for you. Haha, charade you are. You're a disaster. That's your excuse. Yeah, what's yours? Under the indifferential circumstances– “ooh–lala” I'm not as partial to making excuses as –as to what? Kissing ass? Only cute ones. Let it settle in, way down below deck Where the honor rollers are, The high rollers, far above you You wanna know how long the ride is? Wanna know how far you've come If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you Love is not enough The seas are rough An open wound A bleeding heart How right you are The tea is strong, Like solid gold A needle's bond With no remorse, The tithes are gone Upright, Upright To end, to End That's right, I said Just end it I said “Better me than him” Another dinner with a friend A fear for framework, Or indifference again In this selection or Collection, Bears and end to End And End to end Upright And End to End Upright And End to end I dont know, if i want to know you I dont love like I want to love but I watched him raise the dead, Just so he had a friend I don't know if you've been told, but I don't love like I want to love, and I often raise the dead, Just so i can have a friend To play with It's darker in here, Oh, It's sufferable So I just want to know I live in a haunted house With a cat and a mouse But the old cat's gone, now the mouse tends to travel a lot I've nothing to haunt, (I'm a ghost in Toronto) A car show, A hollow heart, A starving artist, A scar; Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue So it goes: The stars on his face remind her of him So it goes: We all want Out of body Out of Mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Why (Why-Why) Would you leave me to wake (Why) In a terrible world Without you in it (A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck, It's very simple) I tried to settle on subtle saffron I tried to love you, Then I moved on Do you ever wonder about philosophy? Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you Secretly? Do you ever dream of it? (I'm just a ghost in a mansion) I haven't even had breakfast I've practically been dead half a century I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist What a bargain! You started it! I'm not arguing. I lost that bet, you know. Clearly. Is it that obvious? How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis? He lost the bet but won the race. Whatever that means Okay. Who the fuck wrote this. [No show of hands] Nobody?! Thats our GOD. That's your God. yes. I thought Beyonce was your God. That's what I just SAID. We must infiltrate. But how. That which binds up through time The chemical, physical and biological nature of love An exploration of the meaning of meaning 1st, Second, and Third Movement Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo And bagpipes! And my trumpet! That sounds more like a french horn Or a “Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten” Well, not entirely Impenetrable *stabs with sword* KRISTEN SHAAL Woah. MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever) Dang. TINA FEY (or whoever) (At least it wasn't me) Right. –all i'm sayin. Wait, who got stabbed? Whoever. Not Jimmy Fallon. No. His untimely death is later. How much later? I don't– __ Meanwhile Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you. Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me. So it's settled. $20 on Magic, please. Fair. Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where Yup. SHH. WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS. No, it isn't. What. I Came into blank street Tryna see a [?!] all coffee No cream please Scream supacree But really you can't see me Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard Feed me b Seymour Ain't tryna be gory Corey Hate to inform you I I'm stuck at the rock I'm stuck at the bottom Youre stuck at the top Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then! Work harder and more often Fuck love and whole foods cause they All Flashback music London … …. …… ………. Who else has seen this. Nobody, just us. We must burn this at once. I wholeheartedly agree. [Remarkably huge bonfire.] Did u make copies. ya . Ooh, that's cool. Very creative. Wow Nice. … … …. Have you seen this? No. Look at it. …ilikeit. Sensations of sadness Salacious arpeggios Arduous agressions Transitions– progressive Incendiary imagery Electric Synthesis Intentionally focused, configurative –Literally Skrillex. Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him. Just shoot the nigga. Ooh, he's so cute. Keep him away from me. C'mon. Yo–I can't. Fine, i'll do it. *sighs indifferently* You could move a mountain; I could stop the tide In a flash; All at once It was a long, long drive I miss the coast (Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine) You could move a mountain Keep me from going insane (If I was inside, you'd) Keep me from going outside (if I was in, though, you'd) Keep me from going in, Under the circumstances I can't stand it, but I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters Waiting for someone who Never shows up, so So Suffer no longer I wouldn't want to want you, if i wondered more about it At the surface, Or way under Nothing wants what nothing gets And noting gets nothing Anyways, so Here's for the abstract Stream of conscious Nothing moves mountains, but You could move mountains In a flash, and I turned the tide on I saw the tidal With my ghost And twelve apostles I've been waiting for Godot For so long I still think He might come Haha, what a charade We all are Huh I love you What was that? I've run off Huh I love you What was that? I've run off I finally fell out of love Look, I broke my own heart Sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I bite my lip, Fall into bed Maybe it's a hex Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment I've been waking up with someone, But going in the world alone, eh It's never run to remember where you've been After a binder You would think with so much in my system I'd have reached indifference, Well, didn't you I didn't yet, In fact, I'm still tying one one, With a friend At the moment Well perhaps, just perhaps, It might be time that I let you go then? Don't be so chauvinistic. Isn't this a barmitvah? Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions To no exact conclusions More Complications I could just FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER. He says it's a pluck, But i see it's percussive If I could give less of a fuck Then I probably coudn't. Woah How many wishes I've granted This festival season How many shifts that I've written through Sitting on busses and subways Looking suspicious as ever and probably smelling atrocious. INT. BLINK FITNESS. …I'm not using that shower. I thought I'd be more employable After sorting some, But it seems as though The more there is The more there isn't And the deeper it gets –the number of spirits I've risen Since getting here Is steady rising It's no surprise I've got more friends that died Than have lived here. It's been a very long year But I fucked it off quickly I'll never listen to Skrillex again If you paid me, But i'll play it In my mixes Depending Fuck it, There my brain went Down the drain again I've been training over a year And i'm still not Kayla fit I'm sick of it I've been waiting for Godot Since the year that I wrote it I've been wearing these bracelets for years Still haven't seen frozen, So i can't let it go yet Oh shit. This is all a distraction The underground is massive Another Michaelangelo Anglo Saxon anonymous I want an erroneous daughter Or Androgynous, Whatever These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors All I ever was, Was a disappointment I got a smile like Madonna's But none of the love at all I got a back end like Beyonce's But just some of the talent “What's an ass for If i'm cellibate, anyhow?” I asked God, She said, “Eat A Taco” I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that The older I get The straighter I am, And dammit He's sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I write books, And mind my own business It's impossible to whitewash all of us But I love rock and roll Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy. So?! SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION: I don't wanna do this. My heart's so broken I could hold it on chopsticks You ever wonder what love is I've forgotten I'm having a hard time holding it all in I'm an artist I've got colorful emotional troubles Others love it Lil biiiiiitttzzz Man, fuck new york. I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown– Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street: I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes And I see this like– Box of birds. No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box I'm like “what. Birds.” Not just birds, though, Colorful birds– Like, straight up parakeets. I'm like, “What. the fuck” Then, before I can even look up– This dude–I just see his leg, though, He just– kicks the box of birds. “what.” Like, towards me, and i'm like “Okay, alright.” Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan Adjacent to Trader Joes And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds, And he has this bowl So I look at the guy, And I look at the bowl, And what's in the bowl. IT'S MORE BIRDS. “OH NO!' I say. Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan “Oh no!” Cause it's not just a bowl of birds It's a bowl of PIGEONS. Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl. I'm like “Oh no.” And then i cross into trader joes. “Yep, right neighborhood.” Alright, here's the plan. where did you come from. nowhere. someone shoot that lady. DILLON FRANCIS I'm your worst nightmare. Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare. GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER. Oh, man. DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood. Try being famous over here! Motherfucker! More on that later. Look, I don't even like you like that! That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change. *hangs head* I'm am not ashamed. I just might watch porn in the morning. Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around. Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis. The one with brown eyes. He's the trustworthy one. Well good luck with that. (The one that doesn't exist.) I didn't take the train today; I thought I was going to jump Thought i'd better play it safe Filled up my shopping cart, Got everything I wanted Everything and more Might not look my best but At least I'm not gone Come on, six o clock I just want to be alone She's got the gift of gab Grew up two blocks from here In the ghetto I've heard it all before But love, my heart's so broken And you turn me on some I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector. That shit is like crack to me. Oh no. Who is this about. I'll give you one guess. I don't have any guesses. It's five past Christ I just opened my eyelids And rolled back my mind I tried to find you, after all, didn't I I might have designed you (On second thought I did) I might need time (if I believed in it) can't apologize for being human, but I wear your eyes all over the world I wear the memories of many girls And many nights Suffer the consequences Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering Wait, where was I again? I was almost, Almost a person There's so much to learn from And too much to learn here I've been fighting off demons, Fighting the feeling of Falling in love again But I can't fall in Cause I never fell out Afterward, I went past it And on to the next one I might double back though– To find that I hadn't quite left in the– To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place To find that we haven't quite met yet At least not the right way It's probably a lesson I might miss the lecture I've got other plans today Fuck, so it is Skrillex. Not really exactly. On second thought, at first glance Better illusion, than hypnotism But if I can't be like that Why be anything at all If not a model Or artist Brought it up at the wrong time (You would want her) I wasn't one for improper introductions Or impromptu arrangements There, there It's just getting better So better not whine about it I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood, Cause nobody loves me I've been alone, not lonely And never alone as long as I like Cause they all just surround me Now I know what it's like to be famous Without all the money and glamour– Turns out, that's the part that alluring I'd better find out what I did this for In the next downpour I'll be soaked to my torso exactly Aren't you proud of me (not really) I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options As time rolled on I got worse at making up stories As it turns out I didn't have to make them up at all They were happening to me So truly and honestly All my job was to “Mark My Words” Said The God Quite astonishing literally But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren I wouldn't bring it up, except The photographic evidence was damaging At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such Then again, —I've never even been on an album cover. There you have it I've been lusting over Several other Talented masters and Handsome disasters But matter of fact It just started with One random – Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences Since this, Random is just as likely as foreign a concept As such Immaculate conception, This contraption At first glance, a sonogram Play it back, Caught in the act again Cause in the act again I'll probably make a list of Weird shit I want to do with him When I think of it in public (That's usually where it happens) And if anything is random –It's that. ILLUMINATI DREAMS: PART III Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. That was cool. We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins— Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box. I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together— But he was over her and super loyal to me — It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob: Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend— Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob; I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend; So he broke it off with her— Sonny never woke up There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together. Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway. Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love. It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon. It felt warm and good. Lmfao wtf is wrong with you SOMETHING, obviously. It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but — A clock stops me in my tracks A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground I love the sparkles On Rockaway boulevard, Making it harder to ponder The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving The servicemen and servers of the surface Boughroughs further than Manhattan At the center lil biiiiiitzzzzs — Bro, I love the cops in New York All the cops in the east are bar none top notch I'm not kidding I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot I'm not joking I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking That's not even the worst part! the worst part was, they were looking back at me! All of em! I was like: “what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “ V.O. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry– So instead of running two miles on the treadmill I went three– But I still wanted to punch something. So I lifted some. I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running… But I don't care. I'd rather weighless, and have a man, Than keep lifting like this, And be a man. Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one. Sometimes, depending on the way I dress, I'm mistaken for one– Or at least– Give off an air of general confusion. But I don't mind. Not that much. I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like. It might take a bit of maintenance, But i'm determined to persist I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman. But maybe, if i'm lucky, or if I try hard enough, I'll have an idea of what it's like to have become one. I'm counting my blessings. All of them. I'm saying my prayers. A lot. And I'm crossing my fingers– that the longer, harder, and faster I run, The closer I get to actually living. That is, To be loved. I wish I could take my eyes out and wash them wit soap. Oh. I wish i didn't know you existed; I wish I Didn't know how to love you God, I spoke to soon I opened up all of the wrong doors, I'm done for, You know, I'm not really good at nothing Nothing at all I wish i didn't know at all You were ever born; But there you are, a son of God, And I'm just rolling along, writing anthems, and carrying on as if everything happened at once But it hasn't Not yet, I'm still breaking my neck on the alter If you want blood I've got it Jump the broom, But watch your heart I've got a dagger full of them; You'd think i had it backwards, But that's the hard part If it were the other way around Oh But it's not No I don't want to love anyone, anymore, God Take me off of this rock Throw me head first overboard Push me in front of a bus; Or give me a heart attack I've had it harder before, But that was over there, I'm omnipresent. I could write forever to this (Ten years ago) I put the book with the devil on front Into my row A collection of noveelties An erection, selective To say the least But please, forgive me I'm veen on my knees And barely breathing, Let it simmer, Simmer down please settle, way below the belt Above you and Beyond this, But I'll never firget what you said (i love you) I'll nevr forget what you said And I'll never look back, dad And I'll never go back ther And I'll neve have blue eyes And I'll never have blonde hair And I'll never have white skin And I'll never be better At least not at this partl But maybe the other I'm just friendless I like it My security blanket The party i wasnt invited to My lies are compulsive; But not quite pathological But the girl was obnoxious And my spirit tyrannical I'm an animal But I pray a lot And used to fast as much Now that Ive been determined to be an deplorable Why not just kill myself? I'd be better off after With a kitchen, a shower I'd forget about money; Getting paid by the hour. I'd be better off anyway I need a vacation It was all in my head, anyway Then again, so is heaven Amen A…men A…men… It's a dangerous game we play But i'd rather not kill myself over you (Again) I'd rather not kill myself again I'd rather not kill myself Could be a coincidence But I doubt it, Since I don't believe in them But I could be getting my lines crossed My rum mixed with vodka And getting my ass whooped more often That's not a metaphor: I'm not a fighter It was metaphysical before, But now its atrocious This night'll be a lot longer If i remain hungry But I wanna look like Madonna! (minus, of course, the minor difference between us) I hadn't understood what an age gap meant, Until jumping it (hardee har har, that's a good one) I'm not even in my body right now; But i'm in my head Shut up, Becky! Isn't it bad enough, Your society? Fuck, I'm losing my mind Just not being blonde enough Or just not being wanted, or something (Loved) Playing the victim, But hey, At least i'm playing something! All these instruments are just too expensive I was just thinking how Photosensitive epilepsy and synestesia Might be deadly But I said “till death do us part” So i think that's what I need I thought my suicide ended it Now I'm in hell with him But I'd end it over and over again Just to be rid of him (yes, i'm serious) Fuck, man, Madonna's gonna kill— For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide: The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow [An Inspiring Story] Had I exacted this science, For starters, On anyone else but A circle of stars, I forewarn you, I wouldn't be honored as such Just a disheartened philosopher, A nonpartisan biocentric; Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET. what. WE'RE STILL WAITING. huh? DRAKE BELL How long do i have to keep doing this for? ILLUMINATI Till the end DRAKE BELL Whens the end. ILLUMINATI When it is. Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment. *squinting* –and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky. *squinting even harder* –No… –No…(?) No. …No. Ugh! Try not to hold your breath. *holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.* I told you, I need this. *attempt to block telepathy had failed* You don't need anything. *squinting exactly alike* The eyes really are windows… Maybe I should jump out then. –or jump in. dayumm . sike . Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project. How much acid did you put in the water. Enough Fuck, I hate my life. Which bottle is it in. [beat] All of them. *facepalm* Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do. I wouldn't quite call it that. I would. Don't be gross. I'm you. You're gross. Touche. I don't think we should be doing this. We shouldn't be. Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp? Nice. He's like 100 years old. Ah, to be young again. So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady. Really fucking old. Like, how old, though. Really, really fucking old. Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess. [She dances by] *gasp* Is that her?! Yeus. She's young again! It appears she has procured a body! Presumably! I must do the same! At once! At one! Lol who are these dudes. Just wait for it. Hurmph. Nrh. *sigh of deep frustration, facepalm* *falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment* Oh good, they're here. Who's they? I don't know! Hm. Suhp. Nice rabbit hole. *shrugs nonscalontly* On telephone) She bought a what a Whole Foods Market? (In public, trying not to be heard) A penis shaped sweet potato. A WHAT? [Speak up] A– penis shaped sweet potato. A WH– A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO. (Everyone stops and stares) …it was delicious. Nice. I don't know Anymore What to do With myself I'm a mess On the Inside and out –wanna cry about it He's a rock and roll sex God I don't know What to think Anymore No, don't ask My opinion, It gets old Afterawhile, And after awhile I'll cry about it, but Right now, I've gotta get out of this Gotta get out! I gotta get out of this project. Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ? I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing. Ugh, what do you want. Listen, Ill make it quicK: It's bee quick. Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what. Or what. That's all I want to know. Know what? When? When what? [Stopping] Are you serious. What. If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it. MAybe it's not. Yeah, I wish. Hey! wishes get granted– –I said that. –You said that. Look– Don't touch me. Sorry. No you're not. –if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how. Oh, the “How” Yeah. You want the “How” Just–yes. If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How” Well, do you know how? You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. Well. Okay. “Okay”? I'm not a human being. Oh, right. UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN. Well, that's your grandmother, so Great-great– Whatever. You exist because she exists. Existed. She was dead before I was born! Actually, that's not true. Beg your pardon. …Ever had your palm read before. All of your kids– “kids “ Read: Lovechildren. Ahem. Are in this room And– Fuck that I'm not writing this scene, It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written. No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about, Is that so? No! It's funny but– But what? It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me. What is UP. What IS up? Have you ever thought about dating a writer? No. Aw, come on… Actually yes–once Once is all I need! Not you. Daww… I dated a writer once in college. What, really? Really. But that was in college. I was in college. He was a writer. Oh, that's hot. Not Exactly. He worked for Disney. Wait–he what? Hm. I almost forgot about that. DISNEY We didn't [simultaneously] MICKEY MOUSE I didn't. Well, what happened. Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was… Flashback: Wait, you're 17. SEVENTEEN?? What's th difference! A YEAR! *purses lips* …or like, a couple months… *face* …or like–midnight on your birthday! *squints* But not 17! *shrugs* Hollywood Is Hollywood. Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story What's “New Hollywood?” My level is indifference, Benevolence, inward violence Ending obsessions and arrangements, Incessant sexual repression, Exponential explanations –Of the world i've never lived in, but created, apparently. Now, i”m unhinged Haven't made a decision on whether I should just binger, or Find a new mister, Or end it I'm still sitting Stuck on ‘concentrical' Now I'm unhinged And it's just been a minute I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but I should stay clear, is it Everclear or Here, son, Just have another bottle Now i'm not stuck on Nothing and no one I cant even see movies anymore All i see is actors, All i hear is conversations I've already written in Closed conversations with critics Dressed as Angels All i see is Camera Angles The city of angels But my algorithm Must have build new york for me, From consciousness or something Sometimes just apartment hunting is Simply avigation and, of course Expanding the map It's just a 3D phenomenon, But all I want is just a hug, You know No you don't know. I've been stuck at concentrical Stopped at Columbus Circle, and The harsher the winter, The fonder of the west I am The girls scream in the audience, I hiss “My sentiments exactly” My sentiments exactly. Keep them all away from me, I'll love them at a distance I only want the music, anyway I only want the music And the music is All anyone knows about her, really Even her mother Who loves her, But at a distance And the music is, The only think she knows, anymore Even the words are just Color that accents it. Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af Right now is corny af. Yeah, i guess. LOOK AT THESE CREDITS: Oh my God. LOOK AT EM. OKAY, ALRIGHT. YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET. What's a “Foley editor” NOBODY. Well he's in the credits. Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck “A foley editor” What IS that. I don't know, Mr. Hollywood. Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood. Well, not literally– Of course not. Wait, is that a thing. If it was, would I be it? [Super Nerdy Writer] I mean, you'd at least be the poster child. Okay, my turn. HI THERE, FACE HERE. *inconsolable screaming* Holy shit, the 90's was RAW. Okay, so your childhood is terrifying. Just wait till we get to the *More inconsolable screaming* Lol. Look. What up bro. It's Juggalos. lol . After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string. Woah. Yeah. Do you think it's aliens Probably. Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know. Right. Lol. maybe you're the alien. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. We know you know where it is. I DO NOT. You're hiding it. HIDE! THAT THING?! So you do know what it is OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it. BRFORR Quick! HIde! OKay. THAT THING IS ENORMOUS. Hm. Smaller. OK. I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5 Seven Bananas… FUCK, MAN. What's this dumb game. *takes shot* it IS dumb. You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana. Oh no. This is fucked up. *barfs* You wanna play? Nah, I'm good. Diplo. What. You have 57 children. *nods* Never look at me again. *hangs head* Go that way, with your children. Dillon Francis. Yes. You have 8 kids. )That's believable) Oh, wow. *You have 84 kids. WHAT! He has more kids than me! Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black. Go say hello. Uhh. Now: Wait, where are you going. The the auditorium. There's an auditorium? For what. AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common. What the fuck. How does he have more kids than me?! Are you serious?! Whose kids are THESE. Mind your business. Let me guess. There's still busses pulling up. I know. And a helicopter! Oh, that's just the guest of honor. Are you serious. SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert. *landing on helipad* LOL OhGod. MEANWHRILE. Whats in here. NOTHING. Just GET IN THE BOX. NO. GET– NO IN THE BOX WElcome to Jack In The Box Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking? Uhhh. Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos. Eugh Extra squirt. Gross! And uh– You want anything. I'm good. Suit yourself. Best tacos ever. __ Wait, hold on. “Wait what” I think i might be getting tired, or something. Right…tired, “or something.” Or something. RIght. *blow horn* * * * * * * * Do you ever get lonely. No. Oh… But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed. Oh! Moving on. Watch this. *snipes* Nice. Now check it out, that's where she respawns. (from behind) Not always. Oh shit. *stop*camping* DOUBLE KILL. Nice. Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map. Would you shut up. You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment? …no. Too bad. You're hired. …hired for what. You applied on indeed, right? Yeah, as a janitor. NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor. What! Here's your camera. (it is a cheap disposable) Are you serious. You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon. Can't I just use my iPhone? Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed? …no. Then NO. … “The Bad Boys Of Hollywood” Prepare To Be Canceled the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness. I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. What's that? Shut up Don't ever look at me again. If i could take my eyes out, I would. No, need–I can do it for you. Haha, charade you are. You're a disaster. That's your excuse. Yeah, what's yours? Under the indifferential circumstances– “ooh–lala” I'm not as partial to making excuses as –as to what? Kissing ass? Only cute ones. Let it settle in, way down below deck Where the honor rollers are, The high rollers, far above you You wanna know how long the ride is? Wanna know how far you've come If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you Love is not enough The seas are rough An open wound A bleeding heart How right you are The tea is strong, Like solid gold A needle's bond With no remorse, The tithes are gone Upright, Upright To end, to End That's right, I said Just end it I said “Better me than him” Another dinner with a friend A fear for framework, Or indifference again In this selection or Collection, Bears and end to End And End to end Upright And End to End Upright And End to end I dont know, if i want to know you I dont love like I want to love but I watched him raise the dead, Just so he had a friend I don't know if you've been told, but I don't love like I want to love, and I often raise the dead, Just so i can have a friend To play with It's darker in here, Oh, It's sufferable So I just want to know I live in a haunted house With a cat and a mouse But the old cat's gone, now the mouse tends to travel a lot I've nothing to haunt, (I'm a ghost in Toronto) A car show, A hollow heart, A starving artist, A scar; Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue So it goes: The stars on his face remind her of him So it goes: We all want Out of body Out of Mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Why (Why-Why) Would you leave me to wake (Why) In a terrible world Without you in it (A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck, It's very simple) I tried to settle on subtle saffron I tried to love you, Then I moved on Do you ever wonder about philosophy? Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you Secretly? Do you ever dream of it? (I'm just a ghost in a mansion) I haven't even had breakfast I've practically been dead half a century I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist What a bargain! You started it! I'm not arguing. I lost that bet, you know. Clearly. Is it that obvious? How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis? He lost the bet but won the race. Whatever that means Okay. Who the fuck wrote this. [No show of hands] Nobody?! Thats our GOD. That's your God. yes. I thought Beyonce was your God. That's what I just SAID. We must infiltrate. But how. That which binds up through time The chemical, physical and biological nature of love An exploration of the meaning of meaning 1st, Second, and Third Movement Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo And bagpipes! And my trumpet! That sounds more like a french horn Or a Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten Well, not entirely Impenetrable *stabs with sword* KRISTEN SHAAL Woah. MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever) Dang. TINA FEY (or whoever) (At least it wasn't me) Right. –all i'm sayin. Wait, who got stabbed? Whoever. Not Jimmy Fallon. No. His untimely death is later. How much later? I don't– __ Meanwhile Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you. Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me. So it's settled. $20 on Magic, please. Fair. Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where Yup. SHH. WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS. No, it isn't. What. I Came into blank street Tryna see a [?!] all coffee No cream please Scream supacree But really you can't see me Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard Feed me b Seymour Ain't tryna be gory Corey Hate to inform you I I'm stuck at the rock I'm stuck at the bottom Youre stuck at the top Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then! Work harder and more often Fuck love and whole foods cause they All Flashback music London … …. …… ………. Who else has seen this. Nobody, just us. We must burn this at once. I wholeheartedly agree. [Remarkably huge bonfire.] Did u make copies. ya . Ooh, that's cool. Very creative. Wow Nice. … … …. Have you seen this? No. Look at it. …ilikeit. Sensations of sadness Salacious arpeggios Arduous agressions Transitions– progressive Incendiary imagery Electric Synthesis Intentionally focused, configurative –Literally Skrillex. Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him. Just shoot the nigga. Ooh, he's so cute. Keep him away from me. C'mon. Yo–I can't. Fine, i'll do it. *sighs indifferently* You could move a mountain; I could stop the tide In a flash; All at once It was a long, long drive I miss the coast (Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine) You could move a mountain Keep me from going insane (If I was inside, you'd) Keep me from going outside (if I was in, though, you'd) Keep me from going in, Under the circumstances I can't stand it, but I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters Waiting for someone who Never shows up, so So Suffer no longer I wouldn't want to want you, if i wondered more about it At the surface, Or way under Nothing wants what nothing gets And noting gets nothing Anyways, so Here's for the abstract Stream of conscious Nothing moves mountains, but You could move mountains In a flash, and I turned the tide on I saw the tidal With my ghost And twelve apostles I've been waiting for Godot For so long I still think He might come Haha, what a charade We all are Huh I love you What was that? I've run off Huh I love you What was that? I've run off I finally fell out of love Look, I broke my own heart Sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I bite my lip, Fall into bed Maybe it's a hex Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment I've been waking up with someone, But going in the world alone, eh It's never run to remember where you've been After a binder You would think with so much in my system I'd have reached indifference, Well, didn't you I didn't yet, In fact, I'm still tying one one, With a friend At the moment Well perhaps, just perhaps, It might be time that I let you go then? Don't be so chauvinistic. Isn't this a barmitvah? Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions To no exact conclusions More Complications I could just FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER. He says it's a pluck, But i see it's percussive If I could give less of a fuck Then I probably coudn't. Woah How many wishes I've granted This festival season How many shifts that I've written through Sitting on busses and subways Looking suspicious as ever and probably smelling atrocious. INT. BLINK FITNESS. …I'm not using that shower. I thought I'd be more employable After sorting some, But it seems as though The more there is The more there isn't And the deeper it gets –the number of spirits I've risen Since getting here Is steady rising It's no surprise I've got more friends that died Than have lived here. It's been a very long year But I fucked it off quickly I'll never listen to Skrillex again If you paid me, But i'll play it In my mixes Depending Fuck it, There my brain went Down the drain again I've been training over a year And i'm still not Kayla fit I'm sick of it I've been waiting for Godot Since the year that I wrote it I've been wearing these bracelets for years Still haven't seen frozen, So i can't let it go yet Oh shit. This is all a distraction The underground is massive Another Michaelangelo Anglo Saxon anonymous I want an erroneous daughter Or Androgynous, Whatever These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors All I ever was, Was a disappointment I got a smile like Madonna's But none of the love at all I got a back end like Beyonce's But just some of the talent “What's an ass for If i'm cellibate, anyhow?” I asked God, She said, “Eat A Taco” I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that The older I get The straighter I am, And dammit He's sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I write books, And mind my own business It's impossible to whitewash all of us But I love rock and roll Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy. So?! SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION: I don't wanna do this. My heart's so broken I could hold it on chopsticks You ever wonder what love is I've forgotten I'm having a hard time holding it all in I'm an artist I've got colorful emotional troubles Others love it Lil biiiiiitttzzz Man, fuck new york. I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown– Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street: I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes And I see this like– Box of birds. No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box I'm like “what. Birds.” Not just birds, though, Colorful birds– Like, straight up parakeets. I'm like, “What. the fuck” Then, before I can even look up– This dude–I just see his leg, though, He just– kicks the box of birds. “what.” Like, towards me, and i'm like “Okay, alright.” Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan Adjacent to Trader Joes And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds, And he has this bowl So I look at the guy, And I look at the bowl, And what's in the bowl. IT'S MORE BIRDS. “OH NO!' I say. Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan “Oh no!” Cause it's not just a bowl of birds It's a bowl of PIGEONS. Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl. I'm like “Oh no.” And then i cross into trader joes. “Yep, right neighborhood.” Alright, here's the plan. where did you come from. nowhere. someone shoot that lady. DILLON FRANCIS I'm your worst nightmare. Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare. GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER. Oh, man. DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood. Try being famous over here! Motherfucker! More on that later. Look, I don't even like you like that! That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change. *hangs head* I'm am not ashamed. I just might watch porn in the morning. Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around. Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis. The one with brown eyes. He's the trustworthy one. Well good luck with that. (The one that doesn't exist.) I didn't take the train today; I thought I was going to jump Thought i'd better play it safe Filled up my shopping cart, Got everything I wanted Everything and more Might not look my best but At least I'm not gone Come on, six o clock I just want to be alone She's got the gift of gab Grew up two blocks from here In the ghetto I've heard it all before But love, my heart's so broken And you turn me on some I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector. That shit is like crack to me. Oh no. Who is this about. I'll give you one guess. I don't have any guesses. It's five past Christ I just opened my eyelids And rolled back my mind I tried to find you, after all, didn't I I might have designed you (On second thought I did) I might need time (if I believed in it) can't apologize for being human, but I wear your eyes all over the world I wear the memories of many girls And many nights Suffer the consequences Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering Wait, where was I again? I was almost, Almost a person There's so much to learn from And too much to learn here I've been fighting off demons, Fighting the feeling of Falling in love again But I can't fall in Cause I never fell out Afterward, I went past it And on to the next one I might double back though– To find that I hadn't quite left in the– To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place To find that we haven't quite met yet At least not the right way It's probably a lesson I might miss the lecture I've got other plans today Fuck, so it is Skrillex. Not really exactly. On second thought, at first glance Better illusion, than hypnotism But if I can't be like that Why be anything at all If not a model Or artist Brought it up at the wrong time (You would want her) I wasn't one for improper introductions Or impromptu arrangements There, there It's just getting better So better not whine about it I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood, Cause nobody loves me I've been alone, not lonely And never alone as long as I like Cause they all just surround me Now I know what it's like to be famous Without all the money and glamour– Turns out, that's the part that alluring I'd better find out what I did this for In the next downpour I'll be soaked to my torso exactly Aren't you proud of me (not really) I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options As time rolled on I got worse at making up stories As it turns out I didn't have to make them up at all They were happening to me So truly and honestly All my job was to “Mark My Words” Said The God Quite astonishing literally But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren I wouldn't bring it up, except The photographic evidence was damaging At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such Then again, —I've never even been on an album cover. There you have it I've been lusting over Several other Talented masters and Handsome disasters But matter of fact It just started with One random – Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences Since this, Random is just as likely as foreign a concept As such Immaculate conception, This contraption At first glance, a sonogram Play it back, Caught in the act again Cause in the act again I'll probably make a list of Weird shit I want to do with him When I think of it in public (That's usually where it happens) And if anything is random –It's that. ILLUMINATI DREAMS: PART III Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. That was cool. We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins— Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box. I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together— But he was over her and super loyal to me — It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob: Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend— Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob; I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend; So he broke it off with her— Sonny never woke up There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together. Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway. Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love. It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon. It felt warm and good. Lmfao wtf is wrong with you SOMETHING, obviously. It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but — A clock stops me in my tracks A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground I love the sparkles On Rockaway boulevard, Making it harder to ponder The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving The servicemen and servers of the surface Boughroughs further than Manhattan At the center lil biiiiiitzzzzs — Bro, I love the cops in New York All the cops in the east are bar none top notch I'm not kidding I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot I'm not joking I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking That's not even the worst part! the worst part was, they were looking back at me! All of em! I was like: “what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “ V.O. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry– So instead of running two miles on the treadmill I went three– But I still wanted to punch something. So I lifted some. I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running… But I don't care. I'd rather weighless, and have a man, Than keep lifting like this, And be a man. Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one. Sometimes, depending on the way I dress, I'm mistaken for one– Or at least– Give off an air of general confusion. But I don't mind. Not that much. I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like. It might take a bit of maintenance, But i'm determined to persist I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman. But maybe, if i'm lu

For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide: The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow [An Inspiring Story] Had I exacted this science, For starters, On anyone else but A circle of stars, I forewarn you, I wouldn't be honored as such Just a disheartened philosopher, A nonpartisan biocentric; Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET. what. WE'RE STILL WAITING. huh? DRAKE BELL How long do i have to keep doing this for? ILLUMINATI Till the end DRAKE BELL Whens the end. ILLUMINATI When it is. Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment. *squinting* –and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky. *squinting even harder* –No… –No…(?) No. …No. Ugh! Try not to hold your breath. *holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.* I told you, I need this. *attempt to block telepathy had failed* You don't need anything. *squinting exactly alike* The eyes really are windows… Maybe I should jump out then. –or jump in. dayumm . sike . Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project. How much acid did you put in the water. Enough Fuck, I hate my life. Which bottle is it in. [beat] All of them. *facepalm* Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do. I wouldn't quite call it that. I would. Don't be gross. I'm you. You're gross. Touche. I don't think we should be doing this. We shouldn't be. Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp? Nice. He's like 100 years old. Ah, to be young again. So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady? Really fucking old. Like, how old, though. Really, really fucking old. Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess. [She dances by] *gasp* Is that her?! Yeus. She's young again! It appears she has procured a body! Presumably! I must do the same! At once! At one! Lol who are these dudes. Just wait for it. Hurmph. Nrh. *sigh of deep frustration, facepalm* *falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment* Oh good, they're here. Who's they? I don't know! Hm. Suhp. Nice rabbit hole. *shrugs nonscalontly* On telephone) She bought a what a Whole Foods Market? (In public, trying not to be heard) A penis shaped sweet potato. A WHAT? [Speak up] A– penis shaped sweet potato. A WH– A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO. (Everyone stops and stares) …it was delicious. Nice. I don't know Anymore What to do With myself I'm a mess On the Inside and out –wanna cry about it He's a rock and roll sex God I don't know What to think Anymore No, don't ask My opinion, It gets old Afterawhile, And after awhile I'll cry about it, but Right now, I've gotta get out of this Gotta get out! I gotta get out of this project. Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ? I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing. Ugh, what do you want. Listen, Ill make it quicK: It's bee quick. Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what. Or what. That's all I want to know. Know what? When? When what? [Stopping] Are you serious. What. If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it. MAybe it's not. Yeah, I wish. Hey! wishes get granted– –I said that. –You said that. Look– Don't touch me. Sorry. No you're not. –if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how. Oh, the “How” Yeah. You want the “How” Just–yes. If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How” Well, do you know how? You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. Well. Okay. “Okay”? I'm not a human being. Oh, right. UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN. Well, that's your grandmother, so Great-great– Whatever. You exist because she exists. Existed. She was dead before I was born! Actually, that's not true. Beg your pardon. …Ever had your palm read before. All of your kids– “kids “ Read: Lovechildren. Ahem. Are in this room And– Fuck that I'm not writing this scene, It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written. No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about, Is that so? No! It's funny but– But what? It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me. What is UP. What IS up? Have you ever thought about dating a writer? No. Aw, come on… Actually yes–once Once is all I need! Not you. Daww… I dated a writer once in college. What, really? Really. But that was in college. I was in college. He was a writer. Oh, that's hot. Not Exactly. He worked for Disney. Wait–he what? Hm. I almost forgot about that. DISNEY We didn't [simultaneously] MICKEY MOUSE I didn't. Well, what happened. Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was… Flashback: Wait, you're 17. SEVENTEEN?? What's th difference! A YEAR! *purses lips* …or like, a couple months… *face* …or like–midnight on your birthday! *squints* But not 17! *shrugs* Hollywood Is Hollywood. Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story What's “New Hollywood?” My level is indifference, Benevolence, inward violence Ending obsessions and arrangements, Incessant sexual repression, Exponential explanations –Of the world i've never lived in, but created, apparently. Now, i”m unhinged Haven't made a decision on whether I should just binger, or Find a new mister, Or end it I'm still sitting Stuck on ‘concentrical' Now I'm unhinged And it's just been a minute I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but I should stay clear, is it Everclear or Here, son, Just have another bottle Now i'm not stuck on Nothing and no one I cant even see movies anymore All i see is actors, All i hear is conversations I've already written in Closed conversations with critics Dressed as Angels All i see is Camera Angles The city of angels But my algorithm Must have build new york for me, From consciousness or something Sometimes just apartment hunting is Simply avigation and, of course Expanding the map It's just a 3D phenomenon, But all I want is just a hug, You know No you don't know. I've been stuck at concentrical Stopped at Columbus Circle, and The harsher the winter, The fonder of the west I am The girls scream in the audience, I hiss “My sentiments exactly” My sentiments exactly. Keep them all away from me, I'll love them at a distance I only want the music, anyway I only want the music And the music is All anyone knows about her, really Even her mother Who loves her, But at a distance And the music is, The only think she knows, anymore Even the words are just Color that accents it. Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af Right now is corny af. Yeah, i guess. LOOK AT THESE CREDITS: Oh my God. LOOK AT EM. OKAY, ALRIGHT. YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET. What's a “Foley editor” NOBODY. Well he's in the credits. Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck “A foley editor” What IS that. I don't know, Mr. Hollywood. Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood. Well, not literally– Of course not. Wait, is that a thing. If it was, would I be it? [Super Nerdy Writer] I mean, you'd at least be the poster child. Okay, my turn. HI THERE, FACE HERE. *inconsolable screaming* Holy shit, the 90's was RAW. Okay, so your childhood is terrifying. Just wait till we get to the *More inconsolable screaming* Lol. Look. What up bro. It's Juggalos. lol . After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string. Woah. Yeah. Do you think it's aliens Probably. Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know. Right. Lol. maybe you're the alien. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. We know you know where it is. I DO NOT. You're hiding it. HIDE! THAT THING?! So you do know what it is OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it. BRFORR Quick! HIde! OKay. THAT THING IS ENORMOUS. Hm. Smaller. OK. I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5 Seven Bananas… FUCK, MAN. What's this dumb game. *takes shot* it IS dumb. You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana. Oh no. This is fucked up. *barfs* You wanna play? Nah, I'm good. Diplo. What. You have 57 children. *nods* Never look at me again. *hangs head* Go that way, with your children. Dillon Francis. Yes. You have 8 kids. )That's believable) Oh, wow. *You have 84 kids. WHAT! He has more kids than me! Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black. Go say hello. Uhh. Now: Wait, where are you going. The the auditorium. There's an auditorium? For what. AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common. What the fuck. How does he have more kids than me?! Are you serious?! Whose kids are THESE. Mind your business. Let me guess. There's still busses pulling up. I know. And a helicopter! Oh, that's just the guest of honor. Are you serious. SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert. *landing on helipad* LOL OhGod. MEANWHRILE. Whats in here. NOTHING. Just GET IN THE BOX. NO. GET– NO IN THE BOX WElcome to Jack In The Box Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking? Uhhh. Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos. Eugh Extra squirt. Gross! And uh– You want anything. I'm good. Suit yourself. Best tacos ever. __ Wait, hold on. “Wait what” I think i might be getting tired, or something. Right…tired, “or something.” Or something. RIght. *blow horn* * * * * * * * Do you ever get lonely. No. Oh… But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed. Oh! Moving on. Watch this. *snipes* Nice. Now check it out, that's where she respawns. (from behind) Not always. Oh shit. *stop*camping* DOUBLE KILL. Nice. Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map. Would you shut up. You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment? …no. Too bad. You're hired. …hired for what. You applied on indeed, right? Yeah, as a janitor. NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor. What! Here's your camera. (it is a cheap disposable) Are you serious. You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon. Can't I just use my iPhone? Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed? …no. Then NO. … “The Bad Boys Of Hollywood” Prepare To Be Canceled the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness. I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. What's that? Shut up Don't ever look at me again. If i could take my eyes out, I would. No, need–I can do it for you. Haha, charade you are. You're a disaster. That's your excuse. Yeah, what's yours? Under the indifferential circumstances– “ooh–lala” I'm not as partial to making excuses as –as to what? Kissing ass? Only cute ones. Let it settle in, way down below deck Where the honor rollers are, The high rollers, far above you You wanna know how long the ride is? Wanna know how far you've come If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you Love is not enough The seas are rough An open wound A bleeding heart How right you are The tea is strong, Like solid gold A needle's bond With no remorse, The tithes are gone Upright, Upright To end, to End That's right, I said Just end it I said “Better me than him” Another dinner with a friend A fear for framework, Or indifference again In this selection or Collection, Bears and end to End And End to end Upright And End to End Upright And End to end I dont know, if i want to know you I dont love like I want to love but I watched him raise the dead, Just so he had a friend I don't know if you've been told, but I don't love like I want to love, and I often raise the dead, Just so i can have a friend To play with It's darker in here, Oh, It's sufferable So I just want to know I live in a haunted house With a cat and a mouse But the old cat's gone, now the mouse tends to travel a lot I've nothing to haunt, (I'm a ghost in Toronto) A car show, A hollow heart, A starving artist, A scar; Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue So it goes: The stars on his face remind her of him So it goes: We all want Out of body Out of Mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Why (Why-Why) Would you leave me to wake (Why) In a terrible world Without you in it (A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck, It's very simple) I tried to settle on subtle saffron I tried to love you, Then I moved on Do you ever wonder about philosophy? Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you Secretly? Do you ever dream of it? (I'm just a ghost in a mansion) I haven't even had breakfast I've practically been dead half a century I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist What a bargain! You started it! I'm not arguing. I lost that bet, you know. Clearly. Is it that obvious? How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis? He lost the bet but won the race. Whatever that means Okay. Who the fuck wrote this. [No show of hands] Nobody?! Thats our GOD. That's your God. yes. I thought Beyonce was your God. That's what I just SAID. We must infiltrate. But how. That which binds up through time The chemical, physical and biological nature of love An exploration of the meaning of meaning 1st, Second, and Third Movement Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo And bagpipes! And my trumpet! That sounds more like a french horn Or a “Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten” Well, not entirely Impenetrable *stabs with sword* KRISTEN SHAAL Woah. MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever) Dang. TINA FEY (or whoever) (At least it wasn't me) Right. –all i'm sayin. Wait, who got stabbed? Whoever. Not Jimmy Fallon. No. His untimely death is later. How much later? I don't– __ Meanwhile Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you. Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me. So it's settled. $20 on Magic, please. Fair. Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where Yup. SHH. WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS. No, it isn't. What. I Came into blank street Tryna see a [?!] all coffee No cream please Scream supacree But really you can't see me Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard Feed me b Seymour Ain't tryna be gory Corey Hate to inform you I I'm stuck at the rock I'm stuck at the bottom Youre stuck at the top Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then! Work harder and more often Fuck love and whole foods cause they All Flashback music London … …. …… ………. Who else has seen this. Nobody, just us. We must burn this at once. I wholeheartedly agree. [Remarkably huge bonfire.] Did u make copies. ya . Ooh, that's cool. Very creative. Wow Nice. … … …. Have you seen this? No. Look at it. …ilikeit. Sensations of sadness Salacious arpeggios Arduous agressions Transitions– progressive Incendiary imagery Electric Synthesis Intentionally focused, configurative –Literally Skrillex. Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him. Just shoot the nigga. Ooh, he's so cute. Keep him away from me. C'mon. Yo–I can't. Fine, i'll do it. *sighs indifferently* You could move a mountain; I could stop the tide In a flash; All at once It was a long, long drive I miss the coast (Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine) You could move a mountain Keep me from going insane (If I was inside, you'd) Keep me from going outside (if I was in, though, you'd) Keep me from going in, Under the circumstances I can't stand it, but I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters Waiting for someone who Never shows up, so So Suffer no longer I wouldn't want to want you, if i wondered more about it At the surface, Or way under Nothing wants what nothing gets And noting gets nothing Anyways, so Here's for the abstract Stream of conscious Nothing moves mountains, but You could move mountains In a flash, and I turned the tide on I saw the tidal With my ghost And twelve apostles I've been waiting for Godot For so long I still think He might come Haha, what a charade We all are Huh I love you What was that? I've run off Huh I love you What was that? I've run off I finally fell out of love Look, I broke my own heart Sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I bite my lip, Fall into bed Maybe it's a hex Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment I've been waking up with someone, But going in the world alone, eh It's never run to remember where you've been After a binder You would think with so much in my system I'd have reached indifference, Well, didn't you I didn't yet, In fact, I'm still tying one one, With a friend At the moment Well perhaps, just perhaps, It might be time that I let you go then? Don't be so chauvinistic. Isn't this a barmitvah? Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions To no exact conclusions More Complications I could just FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER. He says it's a pluck, But i see it's percussive If I could give less of a fuck Then I probably coudn't. Woah How many wishes I've granted This festival season How many shifts that I've written through Sitting on busses and subways Looking suspicious as ever and probably smelling atrocious. INT. BLINK FITNESS. …I'm not using that shower. I thought I'd be more employable After sorting some, But it seems as though The more there is The more there isn't And the deeper it gets –the number of spirits I've risen Since getting here Is steady rising It's no surprise I've got more friends that died Than have lived here. It's been a very long year But I fucked it off quickly I'll never listen to Skrillex again If you paid me, But i'll play it In my mixes Depending Fuck it, There my brain went Down the drain again I've been training over a year And i'm still not Kayla fit I'm sick of it I've been waiting for Godot Since the year that I wrote it I've been wearing these bracelets for years Still haven't seen frozen, So i can't let it go yet Oh shit. This is all a distraction The underground is massive Another Michaelangelo Anglo Saxon anonymous I want an erroneous daughter Or Androgynous, Whatever These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors All I ever was, Was a disappointment I got a smile like Madonna's But none of the love at all I got a back end like Beyonce's But just some of the talent “What's an ass for If i'm cellibate, anyhow?” I asked God, She said, “Eat A Taco” I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that The older I get The straighter I am, And dammit He's sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I write books, And mind my own business It's impossible to whitewash all of us But I love rock and roll Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy. So?! SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION: I don't wanna do this. My heart's so broken I could hold it on chopsticks You ever wonder what love is I've forgotten I'm having a hard time holding it all in I'm an artist I've got colorful emotional troubles Others love it Lil biiiiiitttzzz Man, fuck new york. I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown– Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street: I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes And I see this like– Box of birds. No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box I'm like “what. Birds.” Not just birds, though, Colorful birds– Like, straight up parakeets. I'm like, “What. the fuck” Then, before I can even look up– This dude–I just see his leg, though, He just– kicks the box of birds. “what.” Like, towards me, and i'm like “Okay, alright.” Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan Adjacent to Trader Joes And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds, And he has this bowl So I look at the guy, And I look at the bowl, And what's in the bowl. IT'S MORE BIRDS. “OH NO!' I say. Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan “Oh no!” Cause it's not just a bowl of birds It's a bowl of PIGEONS. Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl. I'm like “Oh no.” And then i cross into trader joes. “Yep, right neighborhood.” Alright, here's the plan. where did you come from. nowhere. someone shoot that lady. DILLON FRANCIS I'm your worst nightmare. Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare. GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER. Oh, man. DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood. Try being famous over here! Motherfucker! More on that later. Look, I don't even like you like that! That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change. *hangs head* I'm am not ashamed. I just might watch porn in the morning. Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around. Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis. The one with brown eyes. He's the trustworthy one. Well good luck with that. (The one that doesn't exist.) I didn't take the train today; I thought I was going to jump Thought i'd better play it safe Filled up my shopping cart, Got everything I wanted Everything and more Might not look my best but At least I'm not gone Come on, six o clock I just want to be alone She's got the gift of gab Grew up two blocks from here In the ghetto I've heard it all before But love, my heart's so broken And you turn me on some I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector. That shit is like crack to me. Oh no. Who is this about. I'll give you one guess. I don't have any guesses. It's five past Christ I just opened my eyelids And rolled back my mind I tried to find you, after all, didn't I I might have designed you (On second thought I did) I might need time (if I believed in it) can't apologize for being human, but I wear your eyes all over the world I wear the memories of many girls And many nights Suffer the consequences Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering Wait, where was I again? I was almost, Almost a person There's so much to learn from And too much to learn here I've been fighting off demons, Fighting the feeling of Falling in love again But I can't fall in Cause I never fell out Afterward, I went past it And on to the next one I might double back though– To find that I hadn't quite left in the– To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place To find that we haven't quite met yet At least not the right way It's probably a lesson I might miss the lecture I've got other plans today Fuck, so it is Skrillex. Not really exactly. On second thought, at first glance Better illusion, than hypnotism But if I can't be like that Why be anything at all If not a model Or artist Brought it up at the wrong time (You would want her) I wasn't one for improper introductions Or impromptu arrangements There, there It's just getting better So better not whine about it I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood, Cause nobody loves me I've been alone, not lonely And never alone as long as I like Cause they all just surround me Now I know what it's like to be famous Without all the money and glamour– Turns out, that's the part that alluring I'd better find out what I did this for In the next downpour I'll be soaked to my torso exactly Aren't you proud of me (not really) I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options As time rolled on I got worse at making up stories As it turns out I didn't have to make them up at all They were happening to me So truly and honestly All my job was to “Mark My Words” Said The God Quite astonishing literally But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren I wouldn't bring it up, except The photographic evidence was damaging At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such Then again, —I've never even been on an album cover. There you have it I've been lusting over Several other Talented masters and Handsome disasters But matter of fact It just started with One random – Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences Since this, Random is just as likely as foreign a concept As such Immaculate conception, This contraption At first glance, a sonogram Play it back, Caught in the act again Cause in the act again I'll probably make a list of Weird shit I want to do with him When I think of it in public (That's usually where it happens) And if anything is random –It's that. ILLUMINATI DREAMS: PART III Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. That was cool. We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins— Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box. I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together— But he was over her and super loyal to me — It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob: Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend— Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob; I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend; So he broke it off with her— Sonny never woke up There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together. Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway. Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love. It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon. It felt warm and good. Lmfao wtf is wrong with you SOMETHING, obviously. It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but — A clock stops me in my tracks A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground I love the sparkles On Rockaway boulevard, Making it harder to ponder The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving The servicemen and servers of the surface Boughroughs further than Manhattan At the center lil biiiiiitzzzzs — Bro, I love the cops in New York All the cops in the east are bar none top notch I'm not kidding I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot I'm not joking I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking That's not even the worst part! the worst part was, they were looking back at me! All of em! I was like: “what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “ V.O. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry– So instead of running two miles on the treadmill I went three– But I still wanted to punch something. So I lifted some. I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running… But I don't care. I'd rather weighless, and have a man, Than keep lifting like this, And be a man. Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one. Sometimes, depending on the way I dress, I'm mistaken for one– Or at least– Give off an air of general confusion. But I don't mind. Not that much. I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like. It might take a bit of maintenance, But i'm determined to persist I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman. But maybe, if i'm lucky, or if I try hard enough, I'll have an idea of what it's like to have become one. I'm counting my blessings. All of them. I'm saying my prayers. A lot. And I'm crossing my fingers– that the longer, harder, and faster I run, The closer I get to actually living. That is, To be loved. I wish I could take my eyes out and wash them wit soap. Oh. I wish i didn't know you existed; I wish I Didn't know how to love you God, I spoke to soon I opened up all of the wrong doors, I'm done for, You know, I'm not really good at nothing Nothing at all I wish i didn't know at all You were ever born; But there you are, a son of God, And I'm just rolling along, writing anthems, and carrying on as if everything happened at once But it hasn't Not yet, I'm still breaking my neck on the alter If you want blood I've got it Jump the broom, But watch your heart I've got a dagger full of them; You'd think i had it backwards, But that's the hard part If it were the other way around Oh But it's not No I don't want to love anyone, anymore, God Take me off of this rock Throw me head first overboard Push me in front of a bus; Or give me a heart attack I've had it harder before, But that was over there, I'm omnipresent. I could write forever to this (Ten years ago) I put the book with the devil on front Into my row A collection of noveelties An erection, selective To say the least But please, forgive me I'm veen on my knees And barely breathing, Let it simmer, Simmer down please settle, way below the belt Above you and Beyond this, But I'll never firget what you said (i love you) I'll nevr forget what you said And I'll never look back, dad And I'll never go back ther And I'll neve have blue eyes And I'll never have blonde hair And I'll never have white skin And I'll never be better At least not at this partl But maybe the other I'm just friendless I like it My security blanket The party i wasnt invited to My lies are compulsive; But not quite pathological But the girl was obnoxious And my spirit tyrannical I'm an animal But I pray a lot And used to fast as much Now that Ive been determined to be an deplorable Why not just kill myself? I'd be better off after With a kitchen, a shower I'd forget about money; Getting paid by the hour. I'd be better off anyway I need a vacation It was all in my head, anyway Then again, so is heaven Amen A…men A…men… It's a dangerous game we play But i'd rather not kill myself over you (Again) I'd rather not kill myself again I'd rather not kill myself Could be a coincidence But I doubt it, Since I don't believe in them But I could be getting my lines crossed My rum mixed with vodka And getting my ass whooped more often That's not a metaphor: I'm not a fighter It was metaphysical before, But now its atrocious This night'll be a lot longer If i remain hungry But I wanna look like Madonna! (minus, of course, the minor difference between us) I hadn't understood what an age gap meant, Until jumping it (hardee har har, that's a good one) I'm not even in my body right now; But i'm in my head Shut up, Becky! Isn't it bad enough, Your society? Fuck, I'm losing my mind Just not being blonde enough Or just not being wanted, or something (Loved) Playing the victim, But hey, At least i'm playing something! All these instruments are just too expensive I was just thinking how Photosensitive epilepsy and synestesia Might be deadly But I said “till death do us part” So i think that's what I need I thought my suicide ended it Now I'm in hell with him But I'd end it over and over again Just to be rid of him (yes, i'm serious) Fuck, man, Madonna's gonna kill— For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide: The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow [An Inspiring Story] Had I exacted this science, For starters, On anyone else but A circle of stars, I forewarn you, I wouldn't be honored as such Just a disheartened philosopher, A nonpartisan biocentric; Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET. what. WE'RE STILL WAITING. huh? DRAKE BELL How long do i have to keep doing this for? ILLUMINATI Till the end DRAKE BELL Whens the end. ILLUMINATI When it is. Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment. *squinting* –and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky. *squinting even harder* –No… –No…(?) No. …No. Ugh! Try not to hold your breath. *holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.* I told you, I need this. *attempt to block telepathy had failed* You don't need anything. *squinting exactly alike* The eyes really are windows… Maybe I should jump out then. –or jump in. dayumm . sike . Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project. How much acid did you put in the water. Enough Fuck, I hate my life. Which bottle is it in. [beat] All of them. *facepalm* Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do. I wouldn't quite call it that. I would. Don't be gross. I'm you. You're gross. Touche. I don't think we should be doing this. We shouldn't be. Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp? Nice. He's like 100 years old. Ah, to be young again. So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady. Really fucking old. Like, how old, though. Really, really fucking old. Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess. [She dances by] *gasp* Is that her?! Yeus. She's young again! It appears she has procured a body! Presumably! I must do the same! At once! At one! Lol who are these dudes. Just wait for it. Hurmph. Nrh. *sigh of deep frustration, facepalm* *falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment* Oh good, they're here. Who's they? I don't know! Hm. Suhp. Nice rabbit hole. *shrugs nonscalontly* On telephone) She bought a what a Whole Foods Market? (In public, trying not to be heard) A penis shaped sweet potato. A WHAT? [Speak up] A– penis shaped sweet potato. A WH– A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO. (Everyone stops and stares) …it was delicious. Nice. I don't know Anymore What to do With myself I'm a mess On the Inside and out –wanna cry about it He's a rock and roll sex God I don't know What to think Anymore No, don't ask My opinion, It gets old Afterawhile, And after awhile I'll cry about it, but Right now, I've gotta get out of this Gotta get out! I gotta get out of this project. Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ? I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing. Ugh, what do you want. Listen, Ill make it quicK: It's bee quick. Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what. Or what. That's all I want to know. Know what? When? When what? [Stopping] Are you serious. What. If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it. MAybe it's not. Yeah, I wish. Hey! wishes get granted– –I said that. –You said that. Look– Don't touch me. Sorry. No you're not. –if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how. Oh, the “How” Yeah. You want the “How” Just–yes. If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How” Well, do you know how? You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. Well. Okay. “Okay”? I'm not a human being. Oh, right. UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN. Well, that's your grandmother, so Great-great– Whatever. You exist because she exists. Existed. She was dead before I was born! Actually, that's not true. Beg your pardon. …Ever had your palm read before. All of your kids– “kids “ Read: Lovechildren. Ahem. Are in this room And– Fuck that I'm not writing this scene, It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written. No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about, Is that so? No! It's funny but– But what? It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me. What is UP. What IS up? Have you ever thought about dating a writer? No. Aw, come on… Actually yes–once Once is all I need! Not you. Daww… I dated a writer once in college. What, really? Really. But that was in college. I was in college. He was a writer. Oh, that's hot. Not Exactly. He worked for Disney. Wait–he what? Hm. I almost forgot about that. DISNEY We didn't [simultaneously] MICKEY MOUSE I didn't. Well, what happened. Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was… Flashback: Wait, you're 17. SEVENTEEN?? What's th difference! A YEAR! *purses lips* …or like, a couple months… *face* …or like–midnight on your birthday! *squints* But not 17! *shrugs* Hollywood Is Hollywood. Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story What's “New Hollywood?” My level is indifference, Benevolence, inward violence Ending obsessions and arrangements, Incessant sexual repression, Exponential explanations –Of the world i've never lived in, but created, apparently. Now, i”m unhinged Haven't made a decision on whether I should just binger, or Find a new mister, Or end it I'm still sitting Stuck on ‘concentrical' Now I'm unhinged And it's just been a minute I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but I should stay clear, is it Everclear or Here, son, Just have another bottle Now i'm not stuck on Nothing and no one I cant even see movies anymore All i see is actors, All i hear is conversations I've already written in Closed conversations with critics Dressed as Angels All i see is Camera Angles The city of angels But my algorithm Must have build new york for me, From consciousness or something Sometimes just apartment hunting is Simply avigation and, of course Expanding the map It's just a 3D phenomenon, But all I want is just a hug, You know No you don't know. I've been stuck at concentrical Stopped at Columbus Circle, and The harsher the winter, The fonder of the west I am The girls scream in the audience, I hiss “My sentiments exactly” My sentiments exactly. Keep them all away from me, I'll love them at a distance I only want the music, anyway I only want the music And the music is All anyone knows about her, really Even her mother Who loves her, But at a distance And the music is, The only think she knows, anymore Even the words are just Color that accents it. Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af Right now is corny af. Yeah, i guess. LOOK AT THESE CREDITS: Oh my God. LOOK AT EM. OKAY, ALRIGHT. YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET. What's a “Foley editor” NOBODY. Well he's in the credits. Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck “A foley editor” What IS that. I don't know, Mr. Hollywood. Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood. Well, not literally– Of course not. Wait, is that a thing. If it was, would I be it? [Super Nerdy Writer] I mean, you'd at least be the poster child. Okay, my turn. HI THERE, FACE HERE. *inconsolable screaming* Holy shit, the 90's was RAW. Okay, so your childhood is terrifying. Just wait till we get to the *More inconsolable screaming* Lol. Look. What up bro. It's Juggalos. lol . After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string. Woah. Yeah. Do you think it's aliens Probably. Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know. Right. Lol. maybe you're the alien. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. We know you know where it is. I DO NOT. You're hiding it. HIDE! THAT THING?! So you do know what it is OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it. BRFORR Quick! HIde! OKay. THAT THING IS ENORMOUS. Hm. Smaller. OK. I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5 Seven Bananas… FUCK, MAN. What's this dumb game. *takes shot* it IS dumb. You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana. Oh no. This is fucked up. *barfs* You wanna play? Nah, I'm good. Diplo. What. You have 57 children. *nods* Never look at me again. *hangs head* Go that way, with your children. Dillon Francis. Yes. You have 8 kids. )That's believable) Oh, wow. *You have 84 kids. WHAT! He has more kids than me! Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black. Go say hello. Uhh. Now: Wait, where are you going. The the auditorium. There's an auditorium? For what. AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common. What the fuck. How does he have more kids than me?! Are you serious?! Whose kids are THESE. Mind your business. Let me guess. There's still busses pulling up. I know. And a helicopter! Oh, that's just the guest of honor. Are you serious. SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert. *landing on helipad* LOL OhGod. MEANWHRILE. Whats in here. NOTHING. Just GET IN THE BOX. NO. GET– NO IN THE BOX WElcome to Jack In The Box Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking? Uhhh. Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos. Eugh Extra squirt. Gross! And uh– You want anything. I'm good. Suit yourself. Best tacos ever. __ Wait, hold on. “Wait what” I think i might be getting tired, or something. Right…tired, “or something.” Or something. RIght. *blow horn* * * * * * * * Do you ever get lonely. No. Oh… But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed. Oh! Moving on. Watch this. *snipes* Nice. Now check it out, that's where she respawns. (from behind) Not always. Oh shit. *stop*camping* DOUBLE KILL. Nice. Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map. Would you shut up. You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment? …no. Too bad. You're hired. …hired for what. You applied on indeed, right? Yeah, as a janitor. NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor. What! Here's your camera. (it is a cheap disposable) Are you serious. You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon. Can't I just use my iPhone? Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed? …no. Then NO. … “The Bad Boys Of Hollywood” Prepare To Be Canceled the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness. I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. What's that? Shut up Don't ever look at me again. If i could take my eyes out, I would. No, need–I can do it for you. Haha, charade you are. You're a disaster. That's your excuse. Yeah, what's yours? Under the indifferential circumstances– “ooh–lala” I'm not as partial to making excuses as –as to what? Kissing ass? Only cute ones. Let it settle in, way down below deck Where the honor rollers are, The high rollers, far above you You wanna know how long the ride is? Wanna know how far you've come If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you Love is not enough The seas are rough An open wound A bleeding heart How right you are The tea is strong, Like solid gold A needle's bond With no remorse, The tithes are gone Upright, Upright To end, to End That's right, I said Just end it I said “Better me than him” Another dinner with a friend A fear for framework, Or indifference again In this selection or Collection, Bears and end to End And End to end Upright And End to End Upright And End to end I dont know, if i want to know you I dont love like I want to love but I watched him raise the dead, Just so he had a friend I don't know if you've been told, but I don't love like I want to love, and I often raise the dead, Just so i can have a friend To play with It's darker in here, Oh, It's sufferable So I just want to know I live in a haunted house With a cat and a mouse But the old cat's gone, now the mouse tends to travel a lot I've nothing to haunt, (I'm a ghost in Toronto) A car show, A hollow heart, A starving artist, A scar; Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue So it goes: The stars on his face remind her of him So it goes: We all want Out of body Out of Mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Out of body Out of mind Out of soul Why (Why-Why) Would you leave me to wake (Why) In a terrible world Without you in it (A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck, It's very simple) I tried to settle on subtle saffron I tried to love you, Then I moved on Do you ever wonder about philosophy? Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you Secretly? Do you ever dream of it? (I'm just a ghost in a mansion) I haven't even had breakfast I've practically been dead half a century I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist What a bargain! You started it! I'm not arguing. I lost that bet, you know. Clearly. Is it that obvious? How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis? He lost the bet but won the race. Whatever that means Okay. Who the fuck wrote this. [No show of hands] Nobody?! Thats our GOD. That's your God. yes. I thought Beyonce was your God. That's what I just SAID. We must infiltrate. But how. That which binds up through time The chemical, physical and biological nature of love An exploration of the meaning of meaning 1st, Second, and Third Movement Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo And bagpipes! And my trumpet! That sounds more like a french horn Or a Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten Well, not entirely Impenetrable *stabs with sword* KRISTEN SHAAL Woah. MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever) Dang. TINA FEY (or whoever) (At least it wasn't me) Right. –all i'm sayin. Wait, who got stabbed? Whoever. Not Jimmy Fallon. No. His untimely death is later. How much later? I don't– __ Meanwhile Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you. Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me. So it's settled. $20 on Magic, please. Fair. Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where Yup. SHH. WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS. No, it isn't. What. I Came into blank street Tryna see a [?!] all coffee No cream please Scream supacree But really you can't see me Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard Feed me b Seymour Ain't tryna be gory Corey Hate to inform you I I'm stuck at the rock I'm stuck at the bottom Youre stuck at the top Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then! Work harder and more often Fuck love and whole foods cause they All Flashback music London … …. …… ………. Who else has seen this. Nobody, just us. We must burn this at once. I wholeheartedly agree. [Remarkably huge bonfire.] Did u make copies. ya . Ooh, that's cool. Very creative. Wow Nice. … … …. Have you seen this? No. Look at it. …ilikeit. Sensations of sadness Salacious arpeggios Arduous agressions Transitions– progressive Incendiary imagery Electric Synthesis Intentionally focused, configurative –Literally Skrillex. Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him. Just shoot the nigga. Ooh, he's so cute. Keep him away from me. C'mon. Yo–I can't. Fine, i'll do it. *sighs indifferently* You could move a mountain; I could stop the tide In a flash; All at once It was a long, long drive I miss the coast (Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine) You could move a mountain Keep me from going insane (If I was inside, you'd) Keep me from going outside (if I was in, though, you'd) Keep me from going in, Under the circumstances I can't stand it, but I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters Waiting for someone who Never shows up, so So Suffer no longer I wouldn't want to want you, if i wondered more about it At the surface, Or way under Nothing wants what nothing gets And noting gets nothing Anyways, so Here's for the abstract Stream of conscious Nothing moves mountains, but You could move mountains In a flash, and I turned the tide on I saw the tidal With my ghost And twelve apostles I've been waiting for Godot For so long I still think He might come Haha, what a charade We all are Huh I love you What was that? I've run off Huh I love you What was that? I've run off I finally fell out of love Look, I broke my own heart Sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I bite my lip, Fall into bed Maybe it's a hex Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment I've been waking up with someone, But going in the world alone, eh It's never run to remember where you've been After a binder You would think with so much in my system I'd have reached indifference, Well, didn't you I didn't yet, In fact, I'm still tying one one, With a friend At the moment Well perhaps, just perhaps, It might be time that I let you go then? Don't be so chauvinistic. Isn't this a barmitvah? Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions To no exact conclusions More Complications I could just FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER. He says it's a pluck, But i see it's percussive If I could give less of a fuck Then I probably coudn't. Woah How many wishes I've granted This festival season How many shifts that I've written through Sitting on busses and subways Looking suspicious as ever and probably smelling atrocious. INT. BLINK FITNESS. …I'm not using that shower. I thought I'd be more employable After sorting some, But it seems as though The more there is The more there isn't And the deeper it gets –the number of spirits I've risen Since getting here Is steady rising It's no surprise I've got more friends that died Than have lived here. It's been a very long year But I fucked it off quickly I'll never listen to Skrillex again If you paid me, But i'll play it In my mixes Depending Fuck it, There my brain went Down the drain again I've been training over a year And i'm still not Kayla fit I'm sick of it I've been waiting for Godot Since the year that I wrote it I've been wearing these bracelets for years Still haven't seen frozen, So i can't let it go yet Oh shit. This is all a distraction The underground is massive Another Michaelangelo Anglo Saxon anonymous I want an erroneous daughter Or Androgynous, Whatever These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors All I ever was, Was a disappointment I got a smile like Madonna's But none of the love at all I got a back end like Beyonce's But just some of the talent “What's an ass for If i'm cellibate, anyhow?” I asked God, She said, “Eat A Taco” I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that The older I get The straighter I am, And dammit He's sharp as a tack Straight as a whip I write books, And mind my own business It's impossible to whitewash all of us But I love rock and roll Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy. So?! SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION: I don't wanna do this. My heart's so broken I could hold it on chopsticks You ever wonder what love is I've forgotten I'm having a hard time holding it all in I'm an artist I've got colorful emotional troubles Others love it Lil biiiiiitttzzz Man, fuck new york. I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown– Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street: I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes And I see this like– Box of birds. No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box I'm like “what. Birds.” Not just birds, though, Colorful birds– Like, straight up parakeets. I'm like, “What. the fuck” Then, before I can even look up– This dude–I just see his leg, though, He just– kicks the box of birds. “what.” Like, towards me, and i'm like “Okay, alright.” Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan Adjacent to Trader Joes And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds, And he has this bowl So I look at the guy, And I look at the bowl, And what's in the bowl. IT'S MORE BIRDS. “OH NO!' I say. Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan “Oh no!” Cause it's not just a bowl of birds It's a bowl of PIGEONS. Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl. I'm like “Oh no.” And then i cross into trader joes. “Yep, right neighborhood.” Alright, here's the plan. where did you come from. nowhere. someone shoot that lady. DILLON FRANCIS I'm your worst nightmare. Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare. GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER. Oh, man. DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood. Try being famous over here! Motherfucker! More on that later. Look, I don't even like you like that! That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change. *hangs head* I'm am not ashamed. I just might watch porn in the morning. Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around. Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis. The one with brown eyes. He's the trustworthy one. Well good luck with that. (The one that doesn't exist.) I didn't take the train today; I thought I was going to jump Thought i'd better play it safe Filled up my shopping cart, Got everything I wanted Everything and more Might not look my best but At least I'm not gone Come on, six o clock I just want to be alone She's got the gift of gab Grew up two blocks from here In the ghetto I've heard it all before But love, my heart's so broken And you turn me on some I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector. That shit is like crack to me. Oh no. Who is this about. I'll give you one guess. I don't have any guesses. It's five past Christ I just opened my eyelids And rolled back my mind I tried to find you, after all, didn't I I might have designed you (On second thought I did) I might need time (if I believed in it) can't apologize for being human, but I wear your eyes all over the world I wear the memories of many girls And many nights Suffer the consequences Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering Wait, where was I again? I was almost, Almost a person There's so much to learn from And too much to learn here I've been fighting off demons, Fighting the feeling of Falling in love again But I can't fall in Cause I never fell out Afterward, I went past it And on to the next one I might double back though– To find that I hadn't quite left in the– To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place To find that we haven't quite met yet At least not the right way It's probably a lesson I might miss the lecture I've got other plans today Fuck, so it is Skrillex. Not really exactly. On second thought, at first glance Better illusion, than hypnotism But if I can't be like that Why be anything at all If not a model Or artist Brought it up at the wrong time (You would want her) I wasn't one for improper introductions Or impromptu arrangements There, there It's just getting better So better not whine about it I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood, Cause nobody loves me I've been alone, not lonely And never alone as long as I like Cause they all just surround me Now I know what it's like to be famous Without all the money and glamour– Turns out, that's the part that alluring I'd better find out what I did this for In the next downpour I'll be soaked to my torso exactly Aren't you proud of me (not really) I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options As time rolled on I got worse at making up stories As it turns out I didn't have to make them up at all They were happening to me So truly and honestly All my job was to “Mark My Words” Said The God Quite astonishing literally But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren I wouldn't bring it up, except The photographic evidence was damaging At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such Then again, —I've never even been on an album cover. There you have it I've been lusting over Several other Talented masters and Handsome disasters But matter of fact It just started with One random – Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences Since this, Random is just as likely as foreign a concept As such Immaculate conception, This contraption At first glance, a sonogram Play it back, Caught in the act again Cause in the act again I'll probably make a list of Weird shit I want to do with him When I think of it in public (That's usually where it happens) And if anything is random –It's that. ILLUMINATI DREAMS: PART III Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me. That was cool. We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins— Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box. I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together— But he was over her and super loyal to me — It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob: Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend— Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob; I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend; So he broke it off with her— Sonny never woke up There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together. Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway. Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love. It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon. It felt warm and good. Lmfao wtf is wrong with you SOMETHING, obviously. It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but — A clock stops me in my tracks A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground I love the sparkles On Rockaway boulevard, Making it harder to ponder The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving The servicemen and servers of the surface Boughroughs further than Manhattan At the center lil biiiiiitzzzzs — Bro, I love the cops in New York All the cops in the east are bar none top notch I'm not kidding I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot I'm not joking I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking That's not even the worst part! the worst part was, they were looking back at me! All of em! I was like: “what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “ V.O. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry– So instead of running two miles on the treadmill I went three– But I still wanted to punch something. So I lifted some. I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running… But I don't care. I'd rather weighless, and have a man, Than keep lifting like this, And be a man. Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one. Sometimes, depending on the way I dress, I'm mistaken for one– Or at least– Give off an air of general confusion. But I don't mind. Not that much. I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like. It might take a bit of maintenance, But i'm determined to persist I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman. But maybe, if i'm lu

Your Core Brilliance is That Thing under everything else about you. It's a really helpful piece of information, so Jan is on a mission to make knowing it accessible to everyone. Meet Jan Black, a seasoned creative powerhouse who's moved through a vibrant career in writing, poetry, art, teaching, speaking, composing, and branding. While her books have sold nearly a million copies, some of her finest writing has been for the eyes of a very few. Her career has been a series of yeses to projects in fields where she had no experience but a decent amount of impact. She's all about the soul of things, yet unless it works on the street, she's not satisfied. She was building brands long before she called it that. The process of defining people's Core Brilliance and building it out into their work has held her attention for over twenty years. Today, her attention has turned to a project called ‘Only While I'm Human' that enriches your turn at being human. She sees us all as The Darlings of What Will Be and devotes herself to creating enrichments for us as we take our turn at being human. First on the roster of enrichments? Core Brilliance, of course. “Only while I'm human can I, so I do.” -- We journey through… Understanding Core Brilliance Miles' Core Brilliance example Jan's Journey and Lessons Learned Lessons from Failure and Hiring the Right People Surrender experiment Saying Yes and Saying No Trusting Yourself and Energetic Posturing How to take up space Embracing the Joy of Sharing with Others Guest pass vs. full access on life Branding Practice Getting clear on the soul then taking it to the Street -- Connect with Jan: https://www.onlywhileimhuman.com/ -- This podcast is your weekly Creative Companion helping you master the inner game, finish what you start, ship your work, and build a brand without yelling; because it's not the thunder that grows flowers, but the rain. -- Support & Connecthttps://subtleartofnotyelling.com⁠ Join⁠ https://theboxcommunity.com -- To celebrate 100 episodes of our podcast, we're opening up the box for all of February. Join for free, try it out, no credit card required, no pressure, just coworking :) Come see what happens on the other side of finished. Use code '100' at checkout. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/artofnotyelling/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/artofnotyelling/support

DJAYCEE Exclusive Remix:

DJAYCEE Exclusive Remix:

I took a poll on Instagram, which should I post first, Saturday Night Editon or Sunday Morning Edition...and Saturday Night won! So September is a bonus "Saturday Night Edition" recorded live on Niagara's biggest wildest patio at Mansion House earlier in the summer. Recording it live at a gig like this I kept it pretty mainstream (just like the Friday Night Editon), so no obscure gems here, no lounge vibes, just youthful party vibes (including my mashup of Morgan Wallen's Last Night over Amerie's That Thing)! Hope you enjoy and if you do, please share and repost for others to enjoy too!- Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dj_j_me- Bookings & Merch: jamiewichartz @ yahoo.ca- Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id306968245

Sole Twin Audio Network presents "That Thing in the Window"! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Como dice una leyenda de la música española calificando a Melodías Pizarras, el túnel del tiempo, vamos a ponernos nuestros esquijamas plateados para viajar a un pasado remoto y escuchar locuras del pasado como “Cinco vocales y un Mambo”, "Hindu Calypso", “Slide, Daddy, Slide”, “Jai Jai Jai” y “Doggin' That Thing”. A partir de las ocho de la mañana del sábado en la sintonía de Radio 3.Escuchar audio

Sole Twin Audio Network presents "Dark Journey"! Note: This episode was initially produced and directed by Rachel Pulliam for "Dream Realm Enterprises" under the title, "Showcase Classics" and premiered at the Mutual Audio Network as a double-feature along with "That Thing in the Window.".  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Gen Z we love you. First is what I want to say, and we wouldn't be discussing these matters if we didn't. Welcome back to a Convos with Jase discussion Featuring "Big B", because she is definitely giving BIG B energy. IYKYK. Learn, cry and pray as we grow, and its ok. To say I'm not ok. We are here  to help. 

This week's challenge: watch That Guy… Who Was in That Thing.You can hear the after show and support Do By Friday on Patreon!——Produced and Edited by Alex Cox——Show LinksParlor Parlor Fan ArtYou Look Nice Today - “Parlor Parlor” (XOXO 2015) on VimeoEp. 503: "A Still Period" - Roderick on the Line - Merlin MannBob Dylan - Nashville SkylineSnapseed on the App StoreDinner for Five - WikipediaKenny Rogers - She Believes In Me (Audio) - YouTubeDinner for Five - Season 3 Episode 4: Joe Mantegna, Bob Odenkirk, Michael McKean, Jeff Garlin - MetacriticMissing Persons - Walking In L.A. - YouTubeThat Guy... Who Was in That Thing - WikipediaThat Guy... Who Was in That Thing (2012) - IMDbThat Gal... Who Was in That Thing: That Guy 2 (2015) - IMDbRecorded Wednesday, June 28, 2023Next week's challenge: play _stitch.

This week's challenge: watch the movie Brick.You can hear the after show and support Do By Friday on Patreon!——Produced and Edited by Alex Cox——Show LinksSteve Albini - WikipediaLegendary audio engineer Steve Albini built his Chicago studio brick by brick : World Cafe : World Cafe Words and Music Podcast : NPRTwitter just doubled the character limit for tweets to 280 - The VergeThat Guy... Who Was in That Thing (2012) - IMDbYou're Wrong About: We Need to Talk About the New York TimesCat Fancy - WikipediaRoland Barthes - WikipediaS/Z - WikipediaGardetto's - WikipediaGardetto's Special Request Garlic Rye Chips - Gardetto'sTimeline of the Trump Classified Documents Investigation - The New York TimesSoloflex: World's First Infomercial - YouTubeThe Elements of Style, Fourth Edition: Strunk Jr., William, White, E. B.On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction: Zinsser, WilliamAlex in High SchoolTurtles all the way down - WikipediaTurtles All the Way Down (novel) - WikipediaBarry (TV series) - WikipediaSamantha Kirby articleRian Johnson - WikipediaRian Johnson — The Movie Database (TMDB)Dashiell Hammett - WikipediaManic (2001 film) - WikipediaBrickRecorded Wednesday, June 21, 2023Next week's challenge: watch That Guy… Who Was in That Thing.

Hear Wendy Santana and I talk about her experience of transitioning from being a workaholic to discovering she had a brain tumor; becoming medically retired and eventually returning back to work full time; and the evolution of her healing journey that led to understanding the value of acceptance, gratitude and mindfulness in everyday life. So inspiring!

Is it time to surrender to "That Thing"? Join Lisa in this short meditation designed to release and surrender to the hard thing that you are currently dealing with. www.lisa-renee.comwww.thesylvanwell.com

Alex gets nine discs of Xenoblade soundtracks. Jason rewinds to heal. Phil tells us that Donatello is best turtle. And Chris shouts to make his problems go away. The post RPG Cast – Episode 675: “Labyrinth of That Thing” appeared first on RPGamer.

Today we are going to talk about "THAT THING" You know the one...

You know THAT THING you keep 'messing up' over and over .... That ONE HABIT that's keeping you from losing your weight... That ONE THING that feels the hardest and most frustrating to change... (like always munching on sweets late-night, or always overeating on the weekends, or regaining the weight you JUST lost on your vacation) We're about to flip this thing on its head. Because your biggest point of stickiness and frustration is actually your GOLDEN TICKET for arriving to your goal. THIS thing is, in fact, your BIGGEST OPPORTUNITY to finally create the weight loss results you want. Listen to this episode to learn HOW to successfully tackle even your most tenacious habits for NEXT-LEVEL RESULTS. xo Brenda ps. To lose your ‘last 10' using my proven method. Join The Last 10 Program here: www.brendalomeli.com/thelast10

It's January, so let's twirl into it with a return of snowy dread. For Winter's Revenge month, we bring back frequent guest Cal Walker to follow-up on last year's viewing of Dead Snow to get their take on Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead. We discuss magic n*zi zombie arms, a plethora of Martins, and where disgust fits into the horror genre. Then, we switch gears to talk about Follow Cal online at cal-walker.net, social media on Twitter or Instagram or read their play, That Thing in the Bathroom, at some scripts literary magazine. Follow our show on social media @CallsInsidePod and our host Kevin Sparrow on Twitter @dirtydevlin --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/calls-inside-pod/message

You can be a heavy hitter in the bed and still use some sex tips. Honestly, it seems like the most experienced individuals are the ones most open to learning MORE. Personally, if you're good at something, you should always be looking for ways to be better! And that's where sex tips come in! What's your best skill in bed? In what area could you use improvement? Do you know, or are you even willing to admit? If so, is that skill your ‘mild sauce?' Did that just throw you off? Well, for starters it has absolutely nothing to do with food directly BUT simply put… Everybody should have a special skill that “gets em every time.” The head might be mid and the sex might be ok but when she does THAT THING, it makes it her stand out from everyone else. If you do or don't have a mild sauce, press PLAY and listen to Terry, Kam and special guest Jody PrHOEvocative give you 3 of the best sex tips you can have going into 2023 with a new view on bedroom action. Follow: @TerryRoseland@KamBamFam@FCNetwork_Check out our website www.fcnpod.com

Hi. I'm Mitch Matthews... and I'm a Recovering Perfectionist. It's true. I've had to choose to overcome my perfectionist tendencies in order to build a coaching and speaking business I love and to help the people I feel called to encourage. Plus, as I've been able to walk alongside so many other life coaches and speakers as they're building their own businesses... we've needed to identify and beat back perfectionism... so they could finally get content out and become successful. Heck... I'd say that perfectionism is the silent killer of so many encouragers and a major roadblock that keeps a lot of people from becoming Well-Paid Encouragers. In short... perfectionism sucks. And... if I'm being honest... it almost killed THIS podcast before it even got started. Because I KNEW I wanted to Encourage the Encouragers... (that's YOU!)... in new ways! And I wanted to record these episodes from the journey... sharing tips and strategies... as they come in! Plus, I wanted to make this work in a way that I could deliver 365 episodes in a year!!!! So... that meant I had to do these from the road... as opposed to waiting until I got back to my nice studio and good mics, etc. BUT... I used some of the strategies we'll talk about in this short episode to push through. And that's what I want for YOU too. YOU are enough. And... although... THAT THING (that blog post, that podcast episode, that piece of copy, that website, that photo... etc. etc. etc.) is perfect... it's good enough! Get it out. Hit send. Push publish. Carry on. Don't wait for perfection. Focus on progress! And let's do this! Remember... you're just one encouragement away from a breakthrough! #letsdothis #helovesjesusbuthecussesalittle #coaching #speaker #lifecoach #successcoach #entrepreneurship #lifecoaching #motivation #mindset #coach #selflove #inspiration #life #mindfulness #love #personaldevelopment #mentalhealth #selfcare #success #lifestyle #personalgrowth #lifecoachingtips #lifecoachingforwomen #goals #meditation #lifequotes #happiness #lifelessons #healing #lifecoachforwomen #lifecoaches #motivationalquotes #growthmindset #loveyourself

Mayan Warrior is one of the most iconic mutant vehicles at Burning Man and its impact goes far beyond the Playa. This week on Life is a Festival, founder Pablo González Vargas talks about gifting, Mayan culture, and the challenges of bringing an art car 8,000 kilometers to That Thing in the Desert. On the show Pablo shares his initiation into Burning Man culture and the difficulties the car faced in its first years. We talk about the physical, communal, and spiritual value of Burning Man. We explore gifting, Mayan culture, and collaboration. Finally we talk about how Mayan Warrior brings the best of Burning Man back to Mexico. Pablo is the founder and designer of the Mayan Warrior Mutant Vehicle, a collaborative project that has united artists, craftsmen, photographers, designers, technologists, architects and musicians from Mexico City and Northern California. He is the founder of Mexico's Sr. Pago, one of Latin America's leading e-payment platforms, Vargas as well as EXA Radio and TV. Director of multiple productions for the Dish/MVS TV network, Vargas remains a passionate supporter of the Visual and Performing Arts. Pablo is also a cofounder of the foundation Planet Buyback who's mission is to inspire and motivate people around the world to take actions in their own communities that lead to a better quality of life and a healthier planet. You can catch the Mayan Warrior in LA for their Halloween party Sat, Oct 29, in San Francisco Sat, Nov 19, and at this year's Art Basel in Miami. Links Mayan Warrior Halloween in Los Angeles, October 29: https://dice.fm/event/agog7-mayan-warrior-halloween-full-art-car-29th-oct-location-tba-los-angeles-los-angeles-tickets?lng=en-US Mayan Warrior in San Francisco, November 19th: https://dice.fm/event/bypqk-mayan-warrior-san-francisco-full-art-car-19th-nov-cow-palace-daly-city-tickets?lng=en-US Mayan Warrior: https://mayanwarrior.com/ Mayan Warrior Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_mayanwarrior_/?hl=en Pablo on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pablogv/ Planet Buyback: https://www.planetbuyback.com/ Timestamps :04 - Pablo's early work in sound for parties :09 - The challenges of brining Mayan Warrior to Burning Man :14 - Three values of building at Burning Man - physical therapy, community, and spiritual :22 - Gifting & the cost of Mayan Warrior :33 - Mayan Warrior's relationship to Mayan culture :43 - The intention of Mayan Warrior and bringing the playa back to Mexico :48 - The inspiration of Mayan Warrior's collaborators :53 - Pablo taking his father to Burning Man

Feeling lost or not knowing exactly what it is that you want is a familiar feeling for so many adults, especially in today's world. It's not uncommon to feel like we don't have it all together or figured out. The world tells us that we should have life figured out by a certain age, which can't be furthest from the truth. This idea of having your life figured out puts many of us into a state of depression that is sometimes hard to come out of.In this episode, I share tips for you to get on track to finding "That Thing" that drives you and will have you walking life with purpose.**DON'T FORGET TO RATE & REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS**Cash App Donation: $DiligentMindspodYoutubePlannerAudiobookAudibleiTunesPaperback Version Of My Book:AmazonBarnes & NobleGrow At Your Own Pace:Online CoursesWork With Me Directly:CoachingDon't Be Afraid To Say Hello:Podcast IGDorian IGSupport the show

It's our one-year anniversary and Glamp Month is coming to a close, so we had to celebrate with the crown jewel of glamorous, camp masterpieces, Death Becomes Her. We bring back guest-friend Cal Walker to talk about the hypergender drag of it all, the high-jinks that ensure when you become undead, and the hilarious line readings that make this such an iconic movie 30 years later. Follow Cal online at cal-walker.net, social media on Twitter or Instagram or read their play, That Thing in the Bathroom, at some scripts literary magazine. Follow our show on social media @CallsInsidePod and our host Kevin Sparrow on Twitter @dirtydevlin Referenced in this episode: Harry M. Benshoff - Monsters in the Closet, 1997. Additional viewing: The Grapevine (June 24, 2021) - The Colonization of Black Beauty. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/calls-inside-pod/message

It's time for That Train Scene where That Thing happens that I'm going to call "Where Eagles Cry". All on the episode that left critics (Tay) asking, "James, are you okay?" Today's scene can be found at: Captain America: The First Avenger [start at 1:21:49 and end at 1:25:29] You can find us on Twitter @timelinescav! You can find us on Instagram @timelinescav! And individually you can find us @tayycro. @unabashedJames and @ColinMParker. BIG thank you for the intro and outro music from @NBramald! Check out his website at https://www.nickbramaldcomposer.co.uk. If you need music for any occasion, he's your man. Check out our merch and for the other shows on the network at The Scavengers Network Store! SEE US PERFORM LIVE AT THE SCAVENGERS NETWORK INDIE PODCAST SHOWCASE! Find this show and all the other great shows at https://www.snipshowcase.com. James and Colin are about 1/3 of the whole schedule so you'll get plenty of them if you come watch!

We are absolutely gutted by the loss of our beloved monarch and Minions (2015) star Queen Elizabeth. Heaven gained another beautiful bird Notes: Princess Diana's podcast drama, Meat Is An Ancient Food,  Harfoots, Anglo Watto, Mommy Kissing Santa Claus Prequel, Gurgi's Wish, Free Elvis, Beveragely Thirsty Presents Are You There God It's Me Parched Man, Leninade, Stinky's Target Decor, Dominos Inflation Countermeasures, Yachty's Pizzeria, Totino 13, Mythbusters AO3, My Bed Is In Ruins, Gyroids that Fuck, Devii and Pii, Eddy the Yeti, Alan's Juvenile Rouge the Bat Fancasting, Slappy Squirrel Hose Water, That Thing of Ours That Should Not Be Named

So what is “That Thing“ you gotta have about you in order to be successful? To separate from the pack? To make a dream a reality?This week you are gonna hear from someone who knows.BECAUSE HE'S LIVED IT!My guest this week is David A. Arnold.Not only is he a brilliant standup comedian, David channels his life's observations as a SITCOM  WRITER, PRODUCER, and ACTOR as well.After I watched his Netflix special, IT AIN'T FOR THE WEAK, and laughed my ass off, I made it a big priority to get him on the show. When you hear his takes on life, parenting, hard knocks, and more, you'll understand why.  This is a man with a lot of takes you're going to love hearing about.Part of what I love about him is that David struggled in the backwaters of comedy for a long time before he broke through. He's used the TRAGEDY and PATHOS in his life to fuel a brand of comedy that is INSPIRATIONAL for everyone going through stuff right now… which is basically all of us.He's blowing up now after working in the business for more than 25 YEARS, building an impressive resume as one of the MOST SUCCESSFUL people in front of and behind the camera in the entertainment business. When you hear David talk about his WORK ETHIC, you'll know there were no shortcuts to him earning everything he's achieved.David's source of strength through it all has been his connection to his family. Not only are they sources for a lot of his material, they're also what drives him to keep working at “THAT THING” as he likes to refer to it.David gets into why it's important to REFUSING TO LIVE WITH EXCUSES or challenges you faced growing up. It's a fascinating look at someone who's overcome unusual family dynamics, addiction, and being incarcerated (for a fix-it ticket!). As you'll hear, BREAKING THROUGH is not for the weak.We're also going to talk about David's creative process for generating material, how he deals with imposter syndrome, and having A WILL TO SUCCEED that's not for sale. The bottom line is that making people laugh is HARD WORK.You can't talk to David for an hour and not touch on KIDS and MARRIAGE.  David's down-to-earth take on both is filled with spot on insights that will make your life and your family relationships better.We are going to wrap up with advice on other parts of your life David wants you to know about too.You're gonna LAUGH this week.You're gonna THINK about what you hear too.David A. Arnold has got the goods.So listen up…This is a FASCINATING hour with a man who has used a lifetime of paying his dues to create a universal WISDOM that's perfect advice for us all.

For those about to Burn! I have procrastinating my own packing for That Thing in the Desert by making you this compilation of my best Black Rock City conversations. From asking the Big Meow Marian whether Burning Man is a festival, to fumbling towards inclusivity with activist Nexus, from Burners without Borders to the Nordic Borderland, these are some of my favorite BRC moments from Life is a Festival. I've also added a few PSAs including how to talk to cops (Don't!), how to protect yourself and loved ones from fentanyl adulteration, and how to help someone having a difficult psychedelic experience. Serendipitously this journey also maps well to the 10 Principles, so you can beef up your cultural acumen on your way to the playa. May you pack all the things but waste nothing and I'll see you soon in the dust! GIFTING (:09) Caveat Magister (Burning Man Philosophical Center) Episode #28: What's the Point of Burning Man? https://www.eamonarmstrong.com/lifeisafestival/caveat-magister RADICAL SELF-RELIANCE (:17) Marian Goodell (The Burning Man Project) Episode #79: That One Time We Saved Burning Man https://www.eamonarmstrong.com/lifeisafestival/marian-goodell RADICAL SELF-EXPRESSION (:23) Adah Parris Episode #68: Visions of an Afropunk Futurist Parrishttps://www.eamonarmstrong.com/lifeisafestival/adah-parris CIVIC RESPONSIBILITY (:33) Gustaf Tadaa (The Borderland) Episode #2: Leaderless Leadership at the Nordic Burn https://www.eamonarmstrong.com/lifeisafestival/gustaftadaa SAFETY THIRD PSA (:40) How to Deal with Cops at Burning Man by Mark Atwood https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lFAWDVzbRLkTM43Y588-ffFxuH7BfXzFbQ8ms7XF_xw/edit HARM REDUCTION PSA (:51) Mitchell Gomez (Dancesafe) Episode #120: In the Age of Fentanyl, Test Your Drugs! https://www.eamonarmstrong.com/lifeisafestival/mitchell-gomez IMMEDIACY (1:00) Sara Gael (The Zendo Project) Episode #51: How to Help Someone Having a “Bad Trip" https://www.eamonarmstrong.com/lifeisafestival/sara-gael RADICAL INCLUSION (1:10) JR Nexus Russ Episode #32 Fumbling Towards Inclusivity https://www.eamonarmstrong.com/lifeisafestival/nexus DECOMMODIFICATION (1:15) Ashoka Finley Episode #83: Power & Privilege in Intentional Communities https://www.eamonarmstrong.com/lifeisafestival/ashoka-finley LEAVING NO TRACE (1:23) Jamie Wheal (Stealing Fire) Episode #80: Live From the Infinite Playa https://www.eamonarmstrong.com/lifeisafestival/infinite-playa COMMUNAL EFFORT (1:33) Christopher Breedlove (Burners Without Borders) Episode #50: Serve in the Way that Feeds You Most https://www.eamonarmstrong.com/lifeisafestival/christopher-breedlove PARTICIPATION (1:41) Life from BMIR (Burning Man Information Radio) Episode #29 It's Better With You Here | Life is a Festival #29: Live From BMIR https://www.eamonarmstrong.com/lifeisafestival/bmir

On this week's Tune-Up, Benny and Deny are all over the interpolation of Lauryn Hill's "That Thing" in Lizzo's new song "Break Up Twice". the guys talk 2022 Emmy nominations and nearly 1 million dollars in memorabilia being stolen from Don Henley. Benny and Deny also break down the Suns matching DeAndre Ayton's offer sheet and the trade rumors for Donovan Mitchell. All that plus This Day in Music History on the 141st edition of the Tune-Up.

Greetings, Totebaggers!Donovan is not here, but we've got James Asher from That Thing with James!We tangent so fkn hard for so fkn long, then we discuss differing speeds of emotional development, a very sweet listener follow up and a relationship with libido issues.You can listen to James' show here!https://www.youtube.com/user/jimjack87 You can subscribe to our patreon here!https://www.patreon.com/rftb

We break down the masterpiece single off the critically acclaimed 'Miseducation of Lauryn Hill' album that crosses the soul of the 60's with the street sound of the 90's with Lauryn Hill's "Doo Wop (That Thing)". Is Lauryn teaching valuable lessons, or just venting out of scorn and spite? The Dissect DJs debate!

It Is Possible To Change Without Growing. But It Is Not Possible To Change Without Growing. John C. Maxwell What Are You Willing To Grow Through To Get To The Best Version Of You? It's So Much Sweetness and Goodness Waiting On The Other Side For You.. If You Do This Very Thing. That Thing.. Is Exposed In This Episode..

Episode 153 (3.1.2022) Today the guys go on a deep dive about batman films (good and bad) as well as great cinema villains. IS the MLB gonna get their shit together?  who knows?  The guys break it down.  Need a fix on bad impressions?  Don't worry,  Josh is here to ruin your day. How did Josh and Dave view themselves in 6th grade?  Find out as we have written accounts from both circa 1990.  All that plus, Rock chicks, Sly and the family stone, Eddie Rabbitt, the wise words of Eddie Veddar, the Spice girls, Mr. Big, basketball gripes, Greg Poppovich, stupid team intros, Kasey Kasem, That Thing you do!, Alan Thicke, and more!!  Appearing on this episode: Josh Lamb, David Sigafoose

After some time off, Cam comes back with a quick word on procrastination (and a hat tip to her beloved Star Wars). You never know how good you'll feel when you finally get THAT THING off your to do list.

Season TWO begins! (Please share/subscribe/rate) Chris White is a wonderful filmmaker who I met through a recent film festival. His film “Electric Jesus” is “That Thing the Blues Bros did before they got a Spinal Tap going to Church camp.” Fun movie, really wild music, too. All Links: (Apple, Spotify, Anchor, YT, etc.) https://linktr.ee/edhartman Ed Hartman's Wild-World of Film and Music! SEASON 2: EPISODE 1: AN "ELECTRIC" CONVERSATION WITH CHRIS WHITE Produced by Ed Hartman "Electric Jesus: Information: https://electricjesusfilm.com Opening: Energy Cycle Ed Hartman ©Olympic Marimba Records Closing: Rivertrance Ed Hartman ©Olympic Marimba Records Recordings available for sale: edhartmanmusic.com Thanks, and write if you get work! ©2021 8th Sense Productions, LLC --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ed-hartman/support

Note: This episode was initially produced and directed by Rachel Pulliam for "Dream Realm Enterprises" under the title, "Showcase Classics" and premiered at the Mutual Audio Network as a double-feature along with "Dark Journey." Sole Twin Audios presents "That Thing in the Window" Featuring the voice talents of: Bruce Busby as the Announcer Dean T. Moody as the OTRT Ad Pete Lutz as Martin Aimes Eleicie Krawiec as Mary Glenn Hascall as Mr. Hanson Margaret Ashley as Miss Landis Jerry Kokich as Sargent Holly Stevenson as Vivian Landis John Bell as Ronald CREW: Directed and produced by Rachel Pulliam - https://www.castingcall.club/m/soletwinaudios Music: Dr. Ross Bernhardt - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqf62Q5GBu6q842Gs34fDow/featured Suspense theme: by Bernard Herrman (re-imagined by David Krause) Sound Effects were provided by www.freesound.org

Note: This episode was initially produced and directed by Rachel Pulliam for "Dream Realm Enterprises" under the title, "Showcase Classics" and premiered at the Mutual Audio Network as a double-feature along with "That Thing in the Window." Sole Twin Audios presents "Dark Journey" Featuring the voice talents of: Bruce Busby as the Announcer Dean T. Moody as the OTRT Ad Rhiannon McAfee as Alice Kristy Glick as Anne Heath Martin as the Conductor CREW: Directed and produced by Rachel Pulliam - https://www.castingcall.club/m/soletwinaudios Music: Dr. Ross Bernhardt - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqf62Q5GBu6q842Gs34fDow/featured Suspense theme: by Bernard Herrman (re-imagined by David Krause) Sound Effects were provided by www.freesound.org

On WITH (Word in the House) Ministries Rev. Andrea Carr discusses Part 3 in the That Thing series coming from the book of 2 Kings 5. What is that thing that is holding you back from obeying God? What is that thing that's keeping you from walking in purpose? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/andreajoyce/support

The kindest, humblest, most talented, best-combo film editor I've ever worked with was Mark Yoshikawa. From his humble beginnings assistant-editing for Richard Chew (Star Wars, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest), to his rise through the ranks to co-picture editor for Terrence Malick (The New World, Knight of Cups), Yoshikawa's ascendancy was always measured and earned, learning through the process as he made his way to large studio blockbusters. On this episode, we talk half Mark's career, half one of his formative films, Hirokazu Kore-eda's After Life, and Kore-eda's career. And:- Mark's most recent work, Reminiscence, how it called on skills he loved such. as non-linearity, that he developed for Lisa Joy on HBO's Westworld;- how that AE ascendancy, from That Thing you Do! to Best In Show taught him the skills to “run the room” and be a calming presence in multiple editing rooms;- and why his work knowing the footage on Malick's The New World led to a picture editor promotion.Also:- Mark's formative viewing of After Life at a Los Angeles Little Tokyo festival screening;- that docu-sensibility of “movies as memory” application of both After Life and Reminiscence, and cinema as a memory as a “story that you tell yourself”;- and the true work of We-Wei and “avoiding the filmmaker's hand” in regards to finding pristine performers's genuine behavior.Mark Yoshikawa is a film editor best known for his work on The Tree of Life, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 and 2, HBO's Westworld and the pilot to Succession. His most recently work, Reminiscence, starring Hugh Jackman and Rebecca Ferguson, is available in theaters and on HBO Max.Hirokazu Kore-eda's After Life is available on VOD and on physical media from Criterion.

I imagine I'm not the only one who bought a pile of things over lockdown, thinking I would finally have time to give That Thing a go. So alongside a stack of books, there's also a calligraphy kit and a paint-by-numbers set that I asked for for my birthday that remain untouched, and there's even a keyboard in the corner collecting dust.  But, guess what peeps! This week I actually got round to reading one of those many books. I went to the pub and I got stuck into The Practice by marketing guru Seth Godin, and I really allowed myself to reflect on what I was reading, so I wanted to share some of my thoughts and insights here with you today. Now, I love dipping in and out of Seth's world, he's extremely wise and thought-provoking, he's not one of these pale, stale and male dudes, he's brilliant and The Practice is all about how sharing our creative work takes courage and it's a constant practice - Well don't we know it! As business owners, we have to summon this courage all the time and the same logic applies to visibility. It's a practice, it's a muscle we have to train.  You see, we know being self-employed comes with risks, and it's scary, but we have to try things out, and we have to commit to practising because that's how we learn and that's how we improve.  So join me for some practical tips to get you started practising and training your visibility muscles.  Do make sure you hit follow and subscribe so you don't miss new episodes, and please do tag me on Instagram @maddy.shine, I love to see where you're listening from!  Oh, and don't forget enrollment to my membership community, Visibiliyay is now open! You can find all the information here at visibiliyay.com. I really hope you'll check it out and come join us.

Today's podcast begins our March, Women's History Month interview series - Theme: "Collaboration: Building a Supportive Team for a Successful Career". This series highlights the achievements and leadership journeys of women who are making history in ways that positively impact the lives of others, in their communities and around the world. Through our conversations, listeners hear and see the courage, strength and resilience of women that reflect our collective progress. All individuals, regardless of gender, race or ethnicity, can find inspiration from a woman's perspective on collaboration, passion, courage, and creative problem-solving. Likewise, organizations gain insight into how best to maximize the talent, creativity, and cognitive diversity of truly diverse teams. Involvement of Women changes everything! Celebrating Women's History Month, speaks to our collective awareness of the importance of women to our society and to the stabilization and advancement of our civilization. Today's guest, Dr. Mary Bruce, author, professor, and minister, shares her passion for helping individuals build the supportive team needed to achieve their goals. Dr. Bruce is energized through her work in education and faith-based spaces, and shares lessons learned from those experiences, in this interview. Listen, as she outlines the strategic steps necessary to effectively collaborate with like-minded individuals who can support you and challenge you to do THAT THING you've dreamed about. Her optimism is both refreshing and inspiring! Dr. Bruce is committed to guiding individuals through their journey to life purpose. Her insights offer helpful markers to utilize "pandemic time" to begin your own process to "follow through" with your dreams and purpose. You'll leave inspired and motivated! Check out her website: www.followthroughtoday.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/dr-l-d-bennett1/message

Connecting to your passion, your purpose, and your DREAM LIFE is about a lot more than just a brand color scheme or creating great on-point content. It's about tapping into your fire, your power source, and That Thing that absolutely drives you. Join us for a fire-breathing and (accidentally) profound conversation with powerhouse Heather Born - creator of the Born Iconic Method - about tapping into your ambition and creative Source.    Find more on Heather at www.heatherborn.com