Podcasts about All Your Fault

REBROADCASTIn this essential encore episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter delve deep into understanding high conflict borderline personalities, often called the "Love You Hate You" types. They explore the complex world of these challenging relationships, where charm can rapidly transform into rage. The discussion illuminates the defining characteristics of high conflict borderline personalities, including their emotional regulation struggles and tendency toward all-or-nothing thinking. Bill and Megan examine the prevalence of borderline personality disorder, the overlap with high conflict personalities, and offer practical strategies for managing these challenging dynamics while maintaining hope for recovery.Additional ResourcesExpert PublicationsSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with BPD/NPDCalming Upset People with EARDating RadarHigh Conflict People in Legal DisputesProfessional DevelopmentStrategies for Helping Clients with Borderline Personalities in DivorceConflict Influencer™ ClassConnect With UsVisit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.com Submit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online storeFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteImportant NoticeOur discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:37) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Part 3 (01:10) - Borderline Personality (07:39) - What does the term mean? (08:50) - Looking for Connection (10:42) - Statistics (14:03) - High Sensitivity (16:26) - Splitting (18:22) - Lying (22:01) - Apologizing (24:47) - Why Vindictive? (27:44) - Finding Success (31:50) - Empathy (34:06) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Domestic Violence

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover welcomes in Jack Williams of The Hockey News to discuss: Why are the expectations so different from last year at this time?Are there any realistic moves still available to the Preds this summer?Will 5th overall pick Brady Martin make this team out of camp?What does it mean that Spencer Stastney told his story of 32 Thoughts?How did Mark Borowiecki help Stastney?Follow our host on Twitter at @ItsGovertime, our guest at @jackgwilliams and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

REBROADCASTIn this valuable encore episode, Bill and Megan tackle three critical listener questions that remain deeply relevant. They begin by addressing a parent's concern about protecting their toddler during a high-conflict custody case involving someone displaying narcissistic traits, offering practical strategies for both the legal process and emotional support. The conversation then shifts to handling intimidating behavior and urgent decision-making scenarios, particularly when dealing with someone who attempts to force their approach. Finally, they explore the complex dynamics of living with someone who has BPD traits, discussing both the potential psychological impact and the importance of finding appropriate therapeutic support for recovery.Additional ResourcesExpert PublicationsThe Borderline Personality Disorder Wellness Planner for FamiliesSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with BPD/NPDHigh-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival GuideThe Healthy Parent's ABC's by Benjamin D. Garber, PhDProfessional DevelopmentNew Ways for Families Online Class and CoachingHigh Conflict Separation & Divorce Basics Audio SeriesConnect With UsVisit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.com Submit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online storeFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteImportant NoticeOur discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:21) - Listener Questions (02:59) - Handling a Toddler with a Narcissistic Parent (09:00) - Managing Intimidating Behavior (14:31) - Is There Ever a Time to Explain the Truth? (17:22) - Can You Develop BPD Traits From Another? (24:57) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: More Listener Questions! Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover welcomes you in to discuss: Should the Nashville Predators embrace a rebuild?If so, who are they talking to when they come out and announce a rebuild?What about the Buffalo Sabres, Vancouver Canucks and San Jose Sharks' struggles rebuilding?Could Ducks center Mason McTavish be a possible solution for the Preds?Could Wild center Marco Rossi be a possible solution?If the Preds get either of those guys, what does their center depth look like then?Follow both of our host on Twitter at @ItsGovertime and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore the crucial distinction between temporary high conflict behaviors and established patterns of high conflict conduct. As co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, we address common misconceptions about conflict dynamics while introducing our new platform, Conflict Influencer, designed to support individuals navigating challenging relationships.Understanding High Conflict PatternsWe examine how situational stress differs from persistent high conflict behavior patterns through an insightful analogy comparing one-time excessive drinking versus chronic alcohol dependence. While anyone may demonstrate high conflict behaviors temporarily during intense stress, persistent patterns typically manifest in:Preoccupation with blaming othersAll-or-nothing thinkingUnmanaged emotionsExtreme behaviorsThe episode clarifies that high conflict patterns often emerge in close relationships but may remain dormant until triggered by significant life changes like divorce or job loss. We emphasize that effective responses avoid giving insight, emotional engagement, or labels, instead focusing on future solutions rather than past conflicts.Questions We Answer in This EpisodeIs high conflict behavior always situational?Does conflict always require two participants?How can professionals identify pattern-based versus situational conflict?What approaches work best with individuals demonstrating high conflict patterns?What resources are available through the new Conflict Influencer platform?We also introduce ConflictInfluencer.com, our new online community and learning platform offering individual coaching, consultation services, and comprehensive support for personal conflict challenges. This platform provides both self-directed and guided learning options, making conflict management resources more accessible to individuals seeking ongoing skill development.Special emphasis is placed on the importance of practice and support in building confidence when managing difficult interactions. We demonstrate how the same conflict management skills work effectively for both situational and pattern-based conflicts, while providing practical frameworks for understanding and navigating challenging relationships more effectively.Additional ResourcesConflict Influencer: Enter our Conflict Influencer World—a place for anyone and everyone who needs help, support and skills for conflict along the spectrum, especially high-conflict.Check out Sierralin Design!Connect With UsVisit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.comSubmit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formatsFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteImportant NoticeOur discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:42) - Updates (03:00) - Today's Topics (03:48) - Is High Conflict Situational? (12:44) - Things to Avoid with an HCP (13:04) - Four Things to Know to Avoid (13:33) - Don't Focus on Emotions (14:10) - Avoid the Past (14:29) - Don't Tell Them They're an HCP (15:19) - Non-HCPs (17:00) - Watch for Patterns (18:09) - One HCP or Two People in Conflict? (22:36) - Conflict Influencer (32:05) - Questions (42:24) - Wrap Up (43:02) - Reminders & See You in September! Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

When revenue goals get missed, teams scramble to assign blame — usually across departmental lines. That's why this episode of Scrappy ABM hosted by Mason Cosby was titled “It's All Your Fault.” But instead of finger-pointing, this panel unpacks why taking ownership — not blame — is the key to alignment and performance.In this expert panel, Laura Erdem of Dreamdata, Sarah Sehgal of OpenSesame, and Kacyn Goranson of BetterUp share firsthand challenges of marketing attribution, compensation models, and what alignment really looks like in high-growth B2B companies. The episode explores how misaligned incentives, unclear definitions, and siloed data are blocking collaboration — and how these leaders are actively solving it.If you're navigating friction between sales, marketing, and ops, this episode offers practical frameworks, tactical tips, and a refreshing dose of honesty.

Child Sexual Abuse Allegations in Family Court: Expert Insights with Dr. Wendy BourgIn this compelling episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter welcome clinical psychologist Dr. Wendy Bourg for a rare and candid discussion about one of family court's most challenging issues. With decades of experience developing forensic interview guidelines and working directly with families, Dr. Bourg shares invaluable insights about navigating these complex situations.The conversation explores how courts, professionals, and families can move beyond emotional reactions to find practical solutions that prioritize child wellbeing. Dr. Bourg challenges common assumptions and offers fresh perspectives on handling these sensitive cases, drawing from her extensive work in Oregon's family court system.Questions Explored in This EpisodeWhat makes these cases particularly challenging for family courts?How can professionals avoid common pitfalls when investigating allegations?What approaches best serve children caught in these situations?Where do well-meaning professionals sometimes go wrong?How can courts balance competing priorities in unclear cases?Key Reasons to ListenGain practical insights from a leading expert in the fieldLearn about surprising research findings that challenge conventional wisdomUnderstand how to avoid common mistakes that can harm familiesDiscover innovative approaches to handling complex casesHear real-world examples that illuminate better ways forwardWhether you're a family court professional, mental health practitioner, or concerned parent, this episode offers crucial insights for anyone seeking to better understand and address these challenging situations. Join us for this important conversation that goes beyond typical discussions to explore practical, balanced approaches that put children first.Additional ResourcesGuest, Dr. Wendy Bourghttps://drwendybourg.com/Expert PublicationsEvaluating Sexual Abuse Reports In Family Court by Dr. Wendy BourgTell Me What Happened: Questioning Children About Abuse by Michael LambJeopardy in the Courtroom: A Scientific Analysis of Children's Testimony by Stephen CeciProfessional & Personal DevelopmentConflictInfluencer.com (website for individuals dealing with high-conflict in personal life)New Ways for Families® Training: For family and divorce professionalsConnect With UsVisit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.comSubmit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formatsFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteImportant NoticeOur discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:31) - Child Sexual Abuse Allegations in Family Court (02:02) - Meet Dr. Wendy Bourg (03:19) - Her Interest in This Work (07:45) - Karpman Drama Triangle (09:35) - Prevalence (13:42) - True or Not True? (18:20) - Safety First and Hippocratic Oath (23:55) - Grey Area Solutions (24:42) - Increase in Frequency? (30:24) - Cycles of Hysteria (33:10) - Therapists and Forensic Truths (36:26) - Flaws Still in the System (37:36) - Working to Help Parents Come Around (39:07) - Percent of Cases That Are True (42:32) - Best Practice Tips (45:38) - No Common Trigger Points (47:10) - Thoughts for Judges (49:19) - Non-Family Members (50:39) - Wrap Up (51:55) - Reminders Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

Beyond Trauma-Informed: Finding Balance Between Compassion and ConsequencesBill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore the complex relationship between trauma-informed approaches and setting appropriate boundaries when dealing with high conflict situations. This timely discussion examines how professionals and individuals can balance empathy with necessary limits.Understanding Trauma and EntitlementThe episode delves into how trauma experiences and entitled behavior can sometimes overlap, yet require different responses. Bill Eddy shares insights from his article "Are We Being Too Nice in High Conflict Situations?" highlighting the importance of maintaining appropriate boundaries while acknowledging genuine trauma.The discussion explores how some individuals may use past trauma as justification for problematic behavior, while others may demonstrate entitled behavior without trauma history. The hosts emphasize the need for a balanced approach that combines trauma-informed methods with clear limit-setting.Questions We Answer in This EpisodeHow do we distinguish between trauma response and entitled behavior?When should we set limits with someone who has experienced trauma?How can professionals balance empathy with boundary-setting?What role does DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) play in addressing these issues?How can families handle situations involving threats of self-harm?Key TakeawaysTrauma history doesn't excuse harmful behavior toward othersSetting limits can be an act of respect and careProfessional help is crucial when dealing with serious threatsThe SLIC method (Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences) offers practical guidanceInterventions work best when conducted as coordinated group effortsThe episode provides valuable insights for professionals and individuals navigating complex relationships where trauma and entitled behavior intersect. Rather than choosing between empathy and boundaries, listeners learn how to implement both approaches effectively.Additional ResourcesExpert PublicationsArticle: SLIC Solutions: Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences in 2 ½ StepsArticle: Are We Being too Nice with High Conflict Behavior?Book: The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in The Healing of Trauma - Paperback by Bessel Van der Kolk M.D.Book alert: email info@unhookedmedia.com to be notified when SLIC Solutions book by Bill Eddy is releasedProfessional DevelopmentConflictInfluencer.comNew Ways Training types and dates: For professionals (HR; Workplace leaders; divorce counselors and coaches; mediators) to learn how to work with high-conflict cases, clients or situationsResourcesEMDRIA.com: EMDR International Association (trauma treatment training/resources)DialecticalBehaviorTherapy.com: A free course for taking control of your thoughts, emotions, and relationships. 40+ lessons with guides, videos, and worksheets.Connect With UsVisit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.comSubmit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formatsFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteImportant NoticeOur discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:34) - Trauma and Entitlement (01:51) - You're Being Too Nice (07:09) - Setting Limits (08:23) - Possibilities (12:32) - Broader Context or Narrower? (16:51) - Empathy at a Distance (21:10) - Pointing to Where Limits Need to Be Set (22:35) - Example (25:47) - If Threats Continue (31:29) - Wrap Up (32:00) - Reminders Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover welcomes in Robby Stanley of 102.5 the Game and NHL.com to discuss: Why use the 5th overall pick on Brady Martin and not James Hagens?Will Martin be a good player for the organization?What do we make of shipping out Colton Sissons and Jeremy Lauzon to Vegas?Where will defenseman Nicolas Hague slot in?What does the Predators blueline look like at this point in the summer?Did Nashville get good value with any of their 2025 NHL Draft picks?Follow our host on Twitter at @ItsGovertime and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

Female Teachers Who Sexually Assault Male Students: Understanding a Complex IssueBill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore the concerning pattern of sexual misconduct between female teachers and male students. This episode examines the psychological, interpersonal, and cultural factors that contribute to these situations, while providing insights for prevention and awareness.Understanding the DynamicsResearch indicates these cases often involve teachers targeting older adolescents (15-16 years old), with interactions occurring both inside and outside school settings. The motivations tend to be emotionally-driven rather than predatory. While federal data doesn't track gender-specific statistics, anecdotal evidence suggests increased visibility of these cases in recent years.The behavioral patterns in these cases often reveal complex emotional attachment issues, where professional boundaries become increasingly blurred. Teachers who demonstrate this conduct typically exploit their position of authority while developing inappropriate emotional connections with students. This process frequently involves grooming behaviors, where the adult gradually manipulates the relationship dynamic through special attention, emotional manipulation, and progressive boundary violations.Questions We Answer in This Episode:What psychological factors contribute to this behavior?How does grooming manifest in educational settings?What are the impacts on teenage male victims?What warning signs should parents and schools watch for?How can educational institutions prevent these situations?Key Takeaways:Clear boundaries and oversight are essential in educational settingsSchools need comprehensive policies and annual trainingParents should maintain open communication about boundariesEarly intervention and awareness can prevent escalationProfessional support should be available for at-risk teachersThis episode provides valuable insights for educators, parents, and administrators while examining the complex factors that contribute to these concerning situations. Understanding these dynamics helps create safer educational environments and better protection for students.Additional ResourcesWatch the Full New York Post video “Psychologist Explains Why Female Teachers Have Sex With Students”OrganizationsRAINN (Help for men and boys who have been sexually assaulted or abused)Article: Sexual Assault of Men and BoysNational Sexual Assault Hotline: 800.656.HOPE (U.S.)1in6.org (Support for men who have experienced sexual abuse or assault)501(c)(3) Zero Abuse ProjectExpert PublicationsLessons to Learn: Female Educators Who Sexually Abuse Their Students (Psychiatric Times)How Female Sexual Abusers Groom Their Victims (Psychology Today - Dr. Elizabeth L. Jeglic Ph.D.)Sexual assault has lasting effects on teenagers' mental health and education (National Institute for Health and Care Research)Professional & Personal DevelopmentConflictInfluencer.comConnect With UsVisit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.comSubmit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formatsFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteImportant NoticeOur discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:33) - Female Teachers who Sexually Assault Young Male Students (02:01) - Background Research (04:18) - What They're Trying to Recreate (05:22) - Looking at the Individual Aspect (09:07) - Trying to Fill a Hole (11:16) - Looking at the Cultural Aspect (12:32) - More Research (15:27) - Impact on Student (17:42) - Attraction to the Extremes (20:29) - Teens with Signs of High Conflict Traits (22:11) - What to Be Aware of (25:03) - Raising Education Levels (27:29) - What Parents and Schools Can Do (33:02) - Reminders Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan welcome in Brock Otten, Director of Scouting for McKeen's Hockey, and discuss the following: What options do the Nashville Predators have with all Draft capital?Is James Hagens a slam dunk for Nashville at #5?Is Roger McQueen worth the gamble at #5?Should Nashville look at defensive prospect Blake Fiddler with a later pick?What would we do if we were NHL Commissioner?Where is Emma going?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast! And don't forget to follow our guest at @BrockOtten!

When High Conflict Takes You By SurpriseLife can change dramatically when you unexpectedly encounter a person who demonstrates high conflict behavior. Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter from the High Conflict Institute in Scottsdale, Arizona, explore the unsettling experience of being blindsided by high conflict situations—whether in a new job, relationship, or family dynamic.Understanding the Impact of Unexpected High ConflictWhen high conflict behavior emerges unexpectedly, it often creates a destabilizing ripple effect. The initial confusion and self-doubt can leave anyone questioning their capabilities and judgment. This episode examines how these situations develop, from the early stages of confusion through the progression of mounting tension and isolation.Recognizing High Conflict PatternsThe most challenging aspect of surprise high conflict situations is their ability to create self-doubt in even the most confident individuals. What begins as an attempt to improve communication or performance often escalates into a pattern of increasing criticism and isolation. Understanding these patterns helps identify when you're dealing with high conflict behavior rather than typical workplace or relationship challenges.Questions We Answer in This EpisodeHow do you recognize when self-doubt stems from high conflict behavior?What makes group high conflict situations especially challenging?Why do attempts to "try harder" often backfire with high conflict people?How can you protect yourself from high conflict surprises?Key TakeawaysRemember "It's not about me" when facing unexpected criticism90% of people don't engage in high conflict behaviorPhysical distance can help manage high conflict situationsTrust your experience with non-high conflict relationshipsSetting clear limits with consequences can be effectiveHigh conflict surprises can happen to anyone, anywhere. This episode provides practical insights for recognizing, understanding, and managing these challenging situations while maintaining your confidence and perspective.Additional ResourcesExpert PublicationsIt's All Your Fault at Work! Dealing with Narcissists and Other High-Conflict People - Managing High Conflict Workplace Dynamics5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life - Understanding High Conflict BehaviorProfessional DevelopmentNew Ways for Couples & Families: Online relationship strengthening courseConflictInfluencer.com: Advanced conflict management training (Coming Soon)Connect With UsVisit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.comSubmit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formatsFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteImportant NoticeOur discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:32) - High Conflict Surprises (02:37) - Updates (03:32) - Bill's Example (09:07) - What Happens In Our Minds (11:03) - Progression and Impact (13:02) - CARS Method (20:23) - Recentering Yourself (23:59) - New on the Job (26:08) - High Conflict Traps (27:19) - Target of Blame (29:00) - Larger Groups (31:42) - Wrap Up (32:44) - Reminders Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan welcome in NHL.com Deputy Managing Editor, Adam Kimelman, to discuss: Who will be available to the Nashville Predators at 5th overall?What opportunities do the Preds have with their three 1st round picks?Why did Nashville take top prospect Michael Misa out to dinner?Is Roger McQueen somebody the Preds should gamble on with #5?Will the Florida Panthers win back-to-back Stanley Cups?What do we make of the Swiss report that Roman Josi is dealing with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

Understanding Why People Stay in Abusive RelationshipsBill Eddy and Megan Hunter return for their seventh season of It's All Your Fault to tackle a challenging but critical topic: why people stay in abusive relationships. Drawing from their extensive experience at the High Conflict Institute, they explore the complex psychological, financial, and social factors that make leaving difficult—even for those with resources and support networks.The Power of Coercive ControlThe episode delves into how coercive control operates in relationships, using the high-profile example of FKA Twigs and Shia LaBeouf. Bill and Megan examine how abusers use tactics like love bombing, isolation, and emotional manipulation to maintain power. They emphasize that this pattern appears not just in romantic relationships, but in workplaces, families, and elder care situations.Understanding Personality PatternsThe discussion explores how people with cluster B personality traits may engage in controlling behaviors. Bill and Megan carefully explain the connection between personality patterns and abusive behavior, while emphasizing that not everyone with these traits becomes abusive. They examine how cultural factors and early life experiences can influence the development of controlling behaviors.Breaking Free and Finding HelpThe hosts share practical advice for recognizing abuse and seeking help, highlighting the importance of self-talk and building support networks. They discuss how professionals and concerned individuals can better support those in abusive situations, emphasizing the need for careful investigation rather than quick dismissal of abuse claims.Questions we answer in this episode:Why do capable, independent people stay in abusive relationships?How does coercive control work in different types of relationships?What role do personality patterns play in abusive behavior?How can professionals better identify and help abuse victims?What are the first steps to breaking free from an abusive relationship?Key Takeaways:Abusive relationships often involve complex psychological manipulationFinancial and social factors can make leaving extremely difficultSelf-doubt and eroded self-esteem are common barriers to leavingSupport systems are crucial for helping people leave abusive situationsProfessional help and community awareness can make a significant differenceThis episode provides valuable insights for anyone trying to understand abusive relationships—whether personally affected or supporting others. Bill and Megan's expertise shines through as they offer practical guidance while maintaining sensitivity around this complex topic.Note: Content warning for discussions of domestic violence and abuse. Some listeners may find portions of this episode challenging.Links & Other NotesReach out to the U.S. Domestic Violence Hotline if you're in an abusive relationship and need help via their website or call 800-799-7233BOOKSOur New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them - How to Stop ThemDating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to the The One Who Will Make Your Life HellARTICLESWhy Is It So Hard to Leave Abusive Relationships? (And What Can Be Done to Help?)COURSESNew Ways for Couples & Families (for strengthening or saving relationships, and helping their kids, if any)Conflict Influencer website alert signup (coming July 8)OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:32) - Why It's Hard to Leave Abusive Relationships (02:58) - Catching Up (08:42) - New Ways for Couples and Families (11:08) - Other Updates (11:31) - Why It's Hard to Leave a Relationship Example (19:38) - How It Grows (21:25) - Evolving Inequality and Secrecy (25:01) - Men Who Are Abused (27:32) - Common Thread (28:30) - Personalities and When to Report (33:09) - Living in the Fear Mode (36:50) - What to Do (41:23) - If It's Someone You Know (44:43) - Signoff Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan welcome in Editor-in-Chief of The Hockey News, Ryan Kennedy, to discuss: What will the Nashville Predators do with the 5th overall pick?Will the 5th overall pick be an impact player right away?Which draft-eligible players are realistic possibilities at 5?Should the Preds focus on drafting a center?Does it look like center James Hagens is the guy for Nashville?Could winger Porter Martone be the next Matthew Tkachuk or Brad Marchand?Is Swedish center Anton Frondell the most logical pick for Nashville at 5?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

While we're on our hiatus, we're playing some of our popular episodes again from our ‘5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life' series. Enjoy!REBROADCASTThe 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Series: Histrionic High Conflict PersonalitiesIn this installment of "The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life" series, Megan and Bill explore the world of histrionic high conflict personalities. They discuss the key characteristics of histrionics, including exaggerated emotions, a constant need for attention, and a tendency to misjudge relationships.Surprisingly, despite cultural stereotypes, research shows histrionic personality disorder is equally common in men and women. Bill and Megan also delve into how social media and influencer culture can feed histrionic tendencies, while emphasizing that having some traits doesn't necessarily indicate a disorder.Questions we answer in this episode:What defines a histrionic personality?Is histrionic personality disorder more common in men or women?How can you deal with exhausting histrionic behavior?Key Takeaways:Histrionic personalities are characterized by drama and a need for attention.Histrionic personality disorder involves a pattern of blaming others.Setting clear boundaries is crucial when dealing with histrionic behavior.Whether you have a histrionic person in your life or want to learn more about high conflict personalities, this episode offers valuable insights and practical strategies for navigating these challenging dynamics.Links & Other NotesBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeIt's All Your Fault!ARTICLESDealing with Drama: Histrionic High Conflict PeopleLiving with High-Conflict People Series: Do's and Don'ts for living with a Histrionic High-Conflict PersonOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:38) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Histrionic (01:30) - What Is Histrionic? (08:33) - Misjudgment of Relationships (11:14) - Drawing Others In (13:16) - In Daily Life (15:34) - Frequency (19:11) - Men and Women (23:28) - Ancient Histrionic Personalities and Influencers (27:53) - Skills to Relieve Exhaustion (30:03) - Negative Advocates (31:18) - Lying and Exaggeration (32:33) - Paul McCartney (35:14) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Paranoid Personalities Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: Is Minnesota Wild center Marco Rossi a good fit for the Preds?How realistic is it for Nashville to acquire Rossi?Tanner Molendyk's season comes to an end in the Memorial Cup FinalThe Milwaukee Admirals can't escape elimination against TexasDoes Admirals Head Coach Karl Taylor deserve an NHL shot?How impactful is it when a "quiet leader" gets loud?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

While we're on our hiatus, we're playing some of our popular episodes again from our ‘5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life' series. Enjoy!REBROADCASTNavigating Narcissistic High Conflict PersonalitiesIn this revealing episode of "It's All Your Fault," part of the Five Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life series, Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy explore the world of narcissistic high conflict personalities. They delve into the key traits of narcissists, the distinction between grandiose and vulnerable narcissists, and the potential connection between narcissistic personalities and domestic violence.Recognizing Narcissistic High Conflict PersonalitiesBill and Megan outline the defining characteristics of narcissistic high conflict personalities, such as their incessant need to feel superior, their sense of entitlement, and their lack of empathy. They explain how these individuals often exploit and mistreat others to preserve their grandiose self-image and how they respond when confronted with perceived challenges to their superiority.The Two Faces of Narcissism: Grandiose vs. VulnerableNot all narcissists are alike. Bill and Megan explore the contrasts between grandiose and vulnerable narcissists. Grandiose narcissists tend to be more calculated and predatory in their actions, while vulnerable narcissists are generally more reactive and emotionally unstable. Grasping these nuances can be essential in recognizing and handling high conflict personalities.Narcissism in Various ContextsNarcissistic personalities can be encountered in various aspects of life, but some fields and occupations appear to draw them more than others. Bill and Megan discuss the prevalence of narcissists in healthcare, higher education, and the tech industry, and how these individuals can foster toxic work environments and strained relationships.Questions we answer in this episode:What defines narcissistic high conflict personalities?How do grandiose and vulnerable narcissists differ in their conduct?Which fields and occupations are more likely to attract narcissistic personalities?Is there a link between narcissism and domestic violence?How can you identify and cope with a narcissistic high conflict personality?Key Takeaways:Narcissistic high conflict personalities constantly strive to feel superior and entitled.They often lack empathy and manipulate others to uphold their inflated self-image.Grandiose narcissists are more calculated, while vulnerable narcissists are more reactive.Some fields, like healthcare and higher education, may attract more narcissists.Recognizing the differences between narcissistic personalities can aid in identifying and managing them.This episode offers valuable insights into the intricate realm of narcissistic high conflict personalities. Whether you're navigating a relationship with a narcissist in your personal life or at work, Bill and Megan's expertise and practical guidance can help you manage these challenging interactions and safeguard your well-being.Links & Other NotesCOURSESConversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 ExpertsHandling Family Law Cases Involving Narcissistic High Conflict PeopleBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeDating RadarSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderARTICLESDomestic Violence vs. High Conflict Families: Are one or two people driving the conflict?Narcissists As LeadersLiving with High Conflict People Series: Do's and Don'ts for Living with a Narcissist High Conflict PersonNarcissists as Leaders: Good or Bad for Your Organization?DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HELPNational Domestic Violence Hotline800.799.SAFE (7233) USAServices AustraliaFamily Violence Resources CanadaOTHER COUNTRIES: do an online search for “domestic violence in ___ (your country or city's name)”OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:38) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Part 6 (01:18) - Narcissistic HCPs (02:48) - Social Impairment and/or Internal Distress (04:55) - See Themselves as Superior (12:02) - Feeling Entitled to Special Treatment (13:16) - Lacking Empathy (21:12) - Stats (24:06) - The Two Types (27:17) - Lying (29:41) - Apologizing (33:02) - Domestic Violence (35:11) - Stalking (36:01) - Letting Go of Relationships (40:12) - Signs If It's Your Partner (44:11) - Steps to Take (46:30) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: A Special Guest Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: Could Buffalo Sabres defenseman Bowen Byrum be a fit for the Preds?We welcome in special guest Milwaukee Admirals forward Ozzy Wiesblatt and ask him:What's it like to make your NHL debut?What does it mean to play meaningful hockey again?Did the San Jose Sharks give up on him too quickly?Are the Wiesblatt brothers the next Sutter brothers?How is Head Coach Andrew Brunette's system different from other's he's played in?How crazy was that playoff series against Rockford?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

While we're on our hiatus, we're playing some of our popular episodes again from our ‘5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life' series. Enjoy!REBROADCASTIntroducing the 5 Types of High Conflict Personalities: Who Can Ruin Your Life? (Part 1)In this thought-provoking first episode of a new series on It's All Your Fault, Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, embark on an exploration of the five types of high conflict personalities who can wreak havoc in your life. Drawing from Bill's book "5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life," they provide a broad overview of these challenging personalities, setting the stage for a deeper dive into each type in upcoming episodes.Understanding High Conflict PersonalitiesBill and Megan illuminate the perplexing nature of high conflict personalities, emphasizing that these individuals often lack self-awareness and may not even realize the impact of their behavior on others. They stress the importance of recognizing patterns of behavior rather than focusing on isolated incidents, as high conflict personalities tend to exhibit consistent patterns of blame-shifting, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme behaviors.Navigating Relationships with High Conflict IndividualsThroughout the episode, Bill and Megan offer practical strategies for navigating relationships with high conflict personalities. They caution against common pitfalls, such as attempting to provide insight into the person's behavior or engaging in emotional arguments. Instead, they recommend focusing on the present, offering choices, and using the CARS method (Connect, Analyze, Respond, Set Limits) to de-escalate conflicts and maintain healthy boundaries.Questions we answer in this episode:Who are the five types of high conflict personalities that can ruin your life?What are the defining characteristics of a high conflict personality?How can I recognize patterns of high conflict behavior?What are the common mistakes to avoid when dealing with high conflict individuals?What can I expect from the upcoming episodes in this series?Key Takeaways:The five types of high conflict personalities can have a profound negative impact on your life if left unchecked.High conflict personalities often lack self-awareness and may not realize the impact of their behavior on others.Recognizing patterns of behavior is crucial when dealing with high conflict individuals.Avoid trying to provide insight, engaging in emotional arguments, focusing on the past, or labeling the person.Stay tuned for upcoming episodes that will explore each of the five types in greater depth, providing targeted strategies for managing these specific personalities.Whether you're dealing with a high conflict partner, family member, coworker, or friend, this episode sets the foundation for understanding and managing these challenging relationships. By introducing the five types of high conflict personalities and providing a broad overview of strategies for dealing with them, Bill and Megan offer listeners a roadmap for the upcoming series, which promises to deliver invaluable insights and tools for navigating life's most difficult interpersonal dynamics.Links & Other NotesBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeARTICLESWho Are High-Conflict People?The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeFive Types of High-Conflict Personalities And their targets of blame—and sometimes violence.Anybody You Know? Predictable Characteristics of High Conflict PeopleCOURSESCourses for professional trainingCourses for individualsConflict Influencer Class (live virtual)OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:35) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (01:14) - Creating Awareness (05:54) - Starting to See It Differently (12:09) - Key Characteristics (21:35) - Options (22:40) - Four Forget-About-Its (26:03) - Four Things to Do (29:02) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Narcissistic High Conflict People Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: Could Jonathan Marchessault be traded after just one season in Nashville?If he is traded, what would that say about the Preds organization or GM Barry Trotz?What is being communicated when you throw your jersey on the ice?How can the Toronto Maple Leafs be so talented yet hit a playoff ceiling every year?Who do we see coming out of the Western Conference Final?Is it okay to root for former Preds players on other teams?What amazing guest is going to be on next week's show???Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

Royal Family Drama: Understanding High Conflict Family DynamicsIn this compelling episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter dive into the high-profile family conflict within the British Royal Family, specifically examining the situation with Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, and their relationship with the rest of the monarchy. Through this lens, they explore broader lessons about family conflict, institutional traditions, and the impact of public scrutiny on family dynamics.The Role of Media and Public SpotlightBill and Megan discuss how media attention can escalate family conflicts, making resolution more difficult. They emphasize that keeping conflicts small and private is crucial for resolution. The hosts examine how the Netflix documentary, Oprah interview, and Harry's memoir "Spare" have affected family dynamics and potentially complicated reconciliation efforts.Institutional Structure vs. Modern ExpectationsThe episode explores the tension between traditional hierarchical structures and modern expectations of equality. Bill and Megan analyze how this clash affects family businesses and institutions during generational transitions, using the Royal Family as a prime example of these challenges.Family Conflict Resolution StrategiesDrawing from their extensive experience, Bill and Megan share insights about effective conflict resolution techniques, including the importance of private discussions, mutual respect, and the role of skilled mediators in family disputes.Questions we answer in this episode:How does media attention affect family conflict resolution?What role do traditional institutions play in family dynamics?How can families manage public vs. private boundaries?When should families seek outside help for conflict?What makes reconciliation possible in high conflict situations?Key Takeaways:Keep family conflicts private and small-scale for better resolutionConsider the impact of public attention on family dynamicsFocus on future solutions rather than past grievancesRecognize the importance of mutual respect and equalityUnderstand when to move forward versus continuing conflictThis episode offers valuable insights for anyone dealing with family conflict, whether in public or private settings. Through the lens of the Royal Family's situation, listeners gain practical strategies for managing family dynamics, understanding institutional pressures, and working toward meaningful resolution in challenging relationships.Links & Other NotesNEW COURSENew Ways for Couples & FamiliesSIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER hereOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:35) - Conflict in the Royal Family (02:08) - Catching Up (05:56) - Harry and Meghan (13:54) - A Grownup in the Room (18:18) - Devil's Advocate (21:28) - The Institution (25:27) - Family Dynamics (27:26) - New Ways for Couples and Families (30:21) - Working Toward Equal Relationships (33:09) - EAR Skills (35:58) - Wrap Up (36:35) - A Brief Hiatus Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan are joined by the voice of the Milwaukee Admirals Aaron Sims an they discuss:Are we seeing that NHL experience pay off for the prospects in Milwaukee?What are teams looking for when NHL-hopeful players are assigned to the AHL?What was it like calling that Calder Cup Playoff series between Milwaukee and Rockford?How much does luck factor into winning -- or losing -- in the playoffs?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast ! Also, be sure to follow Aaron Sims at @aaronadmirals as well!

Understanding BPD: Recovery, Relationships, and Legal ChallengesIn this powerful episode, High Conflict Institute co-founders Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter welcome Shehrina Rooney, author and BPD recovery advocate, for an enlightening discussion about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Through personal experience and professional insight, they explore how BPD impacts relationships, parenting, and legal proceedings, while challenging common misconceptions about the disorder.Shehrina shares her journey from being a successful YouTube personality with over 30,000 subscribers to facing significant personal and legal challenges. Her story illuminates the complex intersection of BPD, trauma, and the legal system, particularly in family court settings. She discusses how BPD diagnosis can be weaponized in legal proceedings and the importance of looking beyond labels to see the whole person.Bill and Megan delve into the crucial differences between active BPD symptoms and recovery, emphasizing how courts and legal professionals often struggle to understand these distinctions. The conversation explores the frequent overlap between BPD and other personality patterns, particularly in toxic relationships, and how this affects family court outcomes.The discussion also addresses the stigma surrounding BPD and the need for better understanding among legal and mental health professionals. They examine how reframing BPD as an emotional regulation issue rather than a personality disorder could help reduce stigma and improve treatment approaches.Questions we answer in this episode:How does BPD recovery differ from active BPD symptoms?What challenges do people with BPD face in family court?How can legal professionals better understand and handle BPD cases?What's the connection between BPD and toxic relationships?How does trauma interact with BPD diagnosis and treatment?Key Takeaways:BPD recovery is possible and changes behavior significantlyCourts need to consider both parents' behaviors, not just diagnosesSelf-awareness and support systems are crucial for BPD recoveryTrauma often intersects with BPD diagnosis and treatmentRenaming BPD could help reduce stigma and improve understandingThis episode offers invaluable insights for legal professionals, mental health practitioners, and anyone affected by BPD. Through Shehrina's powerful personal story and the hosts' expert analysis, listeners gain a deeper understanding of BPD while learning practical approaches for handling high conflict situations involving personality disorders in legal and personal contexts.Links & Other NotesGUEST SHEHRINA ROONEYhttps://www.youtube.com/recoverymum (videos not available currently)BOOKSThe Big Book on Borderline Personality DisorderPaperback - on Unhooked Books website(25% discount through 5/31/25)Paperback on Amazon USPaperback on Amazon UKPaperback on Amazon Australiae-BookCOURSESConflict Influencer 6-Week ClassNew Ways for Families® Training for counselors and divorce coachesCounselors hereCoaches hereNew Ways for Families® Online Class for ParentsOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:36) - Meet Shehrina (09:13) - Recovery and Self-Awareness (16:09) - Changes in Behavior (17:48) - A Lot to Be Learned (22:30) - A Lawyer's Approach (25:31) - A Spectrum (26:56) - Every Case Is Different (28:56) - Slowly Getting Better (31:17) - Emotion Disregulation (32:44) - Therapists (34:33) - What's Going On and What to Do (39:47) - Combinations (41:49) - Determining the Strategy of What to Do (42:47) - Women vs. Men (43:28) - Wrap Up (44:05) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Another Guest! Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: Nashville Predators GM Barry Trotz announces Andrew Brunette is coming backThe NHL Draft Lottery balls do not fall Nashville's wayDoes Trotz's comments about Jonathan Marchessault's comments hint at anything?Are the Preds players “too nice”?Is the pressure to win early next season even higher than we thought?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

Inside the Lori Vallow Daybell Case: A Deep Dive into Criminal PsychologyBill Eddy and Megan Hunter, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, dive deep into one of the most disturbing true crime cases in recent history—the Lori Vallow Daybell murders. The hosts explore the psychological aspects behind what led to multiple murders, including those of Vallow's own children, and examine potential personality patterns that may help explain such extreme behavior.The Complex Web of Personality and CrimeBill and Megan discuss how individuals who commit horrific acts often display patterns of behavior long before their crimes. They explore how Vallow's case may demonstrate characteristics associated with antisocial personality traits—combined with possible narcissistic tendencies. The hosts emphasize that these patterns often have genetic components rather than being solely the result of upbringing or environment.Understanding Family ImpactThe episode provides valuable insights into how family members process and heal from such traumatic events. Through examining Vallow's surviving son Colby's experience, Bill and Megan highlight the importance of understanding that what seems typical in childhood may later be recognized as problematic—leading to crucial healing opportunities.Questions we answer in this episode:What personality patterns might explain seemingly inexplicable criminal behavior?How do genetic factors influence personality development?Can early intervention help prevent antisocial behavior patterns?What role does narcissism play in high conflict cases?How do family members begin healing after discovering disturbing truths?Key Takeaways:Antisocial personality traits often emerge before age 12Early intervention is crucial for addressing concerning behaviorsGenetic factors play a significant role in personality developmentComplex cases often involve multiple personality patternsHealing requires understanding it wasn't family members' faultThis episode offers valuable insights for mental health professionals, law enforcement, and anyone seeking to understand complex criminal behavior. Through careful analysis of the Vallow case, listeners gain practical knowledge about personality patterns, family dynamics, and the importance of early intervention in preventing tragic outcomes.Links & Other NotesARTICLELori Vallow Daybell / Chad Daybell articleBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict PersonalitiesSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (Second Edition)ARTICLESViolence and Mental HealthSociopaths and their DeceptionsOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:34) - Lori Vallow/Chad Daybell Murder (02:51) - Setting the Stage (06:36) - Thoughts on First Case (11:58) - Colby (13:50) - Anti-Social Personality Behavior (21:06) - Treating Younger Children (23:18) - Warning Signs (24:27) - Chad's Story (31:47) - Making Up ‘Truths' (34:16) - Narcissism (37:10) - Wrapping Up (38:48) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Shehrina Rooney and BPD Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast, presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: What does GM Barry Trotz's silence mean?Why does Andrew Brunette still have a job behind the Nahville Predators bench?Recently fired Pittsburgh Penguins head coach Mike Sullivan already gone?If not Sullivan, who else could be an upgrade from Brunette?Is Dan Bylsma somebody to consider in replacing Brunette?What could Trotz say that would ease the hard sell of bringing back Brunetter for 2025-26?What do the 2024 Detroit Tigers have in common with the 2023-24 Preds?What does Miami Dolphins QB Tua Tagovailoa have in common with Roman Josi?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

Listener Questions: Managing Self-Awareness and High Conflict RelationshipsIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, tackle pressing listener questions about managing difficult relationships and developing self-awareness. The episode focuses particularly on handling interactions with individuals who display challenging personality traits and navigating complex relationship dynamics.Understanding Self-Awareness and Conflict ManagementBill and Megan explore the crucial role of self-awareness in managing high conflict tendencies. They emphasize that approximately 10% of people exhibit high conflict personality traits, with self-awareness being a key differentiator in relationship success. The hosts discuss practical tools like the BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm) method and EAR statements for better communication.Navigating Complex RelationshipsThe discussion delves into strategies for dealing with challenging personalities in various contexts, including co-parenting situations and mediation. Bill and Megan stress the importance of setting realistic expectations and knowing when to try alternative approaches if initial strategies aren't working.Personal Change and External InfluencesAn important segment addresses how manipulative relationships can impact otherwise healthy individuals, potentially causing them to display uncharacteristic behaviors. The hosts explore the importance of maintaining personal boundaries and recognizing when to seek professional help.Questions we answer in this episode:How can someone who recognizes their own high conflict tendencies improve their relationships?What strategies work best when mediating with challenging personalities?Can manipulative relationships cause someone to display high conflict behaviors?How should one approach personality changes in relationships?What role do organizational structures play in conflict resolution?Key Takeaways:Self-awareness is crucial for managing high conflict tendenciesSet clear boundaries and know when to stop trying certain approachesSudden personality changes should prompt medical evaluationManipulative relationships can affect anyone's behaviorSupport systems and professional help are valuable resourcesThis episode provides valuable insights for anyone dealing with challenging relationships or working to improve their own conflict management skills. Bill and Megan offer practical tools and compassionate guidance while maintaining professional boundaries and emphasizing the importance of seeking appropriate medical and mental health support when needed.Links & Other NotesPROFESSIONAL TRAININGNew Ways for Mediation training for professionalsCOURSES & CLASSESNew Ways for Life (training to help young people learn 4 Big Skills)Conflict Influencer Group ClassBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:40) - Listener Questions (02:02) - Question One (06:03) - Question Two (11:28) - Question Three (13:38) - Question Four (18:59) - Question Five (22:40) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Bully Bosses Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

Raised in a devout Catholic family, Annette grew up believing her father had died before she was born. Decades later, a series of emotional discoveries unraveled everything she thought she knew about her identity. Her journey explores loss, secrecy, and the power of living one's truthAnnette's memoir is called Living Into the Truth. You can learn more about Annette and her story at the following links:annettemarquis.comwordswomenpress.comResources Mentioned:Untangling Our Roots SummitHigh Conflict InstituteIt's All Your Fault! PodcastRight to KnowNPE Stories PatreonNPE Stories facebook pagehttps://www.facebook.com/NPEstories

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: Did Jonathan Marchessault just tell us what he told GM Barry Trotz in his end-of-season meeting?Is Steven Stamkos also suggesting that Andrew Brunette might not be the right coach?Should Brunette's one year as Florida Panthers interim coach factor into keeping him?Will we know if Brunette is returning behind the bench by the end of the week?Will the Preds try to “bury” any coaching news under the Tennessee Titans picking 1st overall on Thursday?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

Navigating Complex Family Dynamics: Your Questions AnsweredIn this listener-focused episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter address pressing questions about dealing with high conflict personalities in family relationships. The episode dives deep into managing challenging family dynamics, setting healthy boundaries, and understanding different conflict management styles.Family Relationships and High Conflict PersonalitiesBill and Megan explore a complex situation involving an adopted son who shows signs of high conflict behavior patterns. They discuss how early childhood experiences can shape adult relationships and offer insights into managing these challenging family dynamics while maintaining hope for positive change.Setting Boundaries with SiblingsThe episode examines the delicate balance of maintaining relationships with high conflict siblings while protecting personal boundaries. Bill and Megan provide practical strategies for managing distance in relationships without completely severing ties, emphasizing the importance of scheduled communication and clear expectations.Understanding Conflict AvoidanceThe hosts explore an interesting perspective on highly conflict-averse individuals and their relationship to high conflict situations. They discuss how different personality types interact with conflict and provide insights into professional approaches to managing high conflict situations.Questions we answer in this episode:How can parents maintain relationships with adult children who show high conflict behaviors?What strategies work best when a sibling with a high conflict personality wants more contact than you're comfortable giving?How should you respond to family members who sense your intentional distance?Is there such thing as a "highly conflict-averse personality"?How do different personality types handle conflict differently?Key Takeaways:Personality patterns typically stabilize by age 25Early childhood experiences significantly impact adult relationship patternsSetting boundaries doesn't mean cutting ties completelyRegular scheduled contact can help manage high conflict relationshipsProfessional help can provide valuable tools for managing family dynamicsThis episode offers valuable insights for anyone dealing with high conflict personalities in their family relationships. Through real-world examples and expert analysis, listeners gain practical tools for managing challenging relationships while maintaining their own emotional well-being.Links & Other NotesBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeIt's All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for EverythingARTICLESLiving with High-Conflict People Series: Do's and Don'ts for living with a Histrionic High-Conflict PersonCOURSES & CLASSESNew Ways for Life (training to help young people learn 4 Big Skills)Conflict Influencer Group ClassOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:36) - Listener Questions (01:50) - Catching Up (07:20) - Question One (18:31) - Question Two (26:24) - Question Three (37:39) - Wrap Up (37:57) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: More Listener Questions Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: Where would the Nashville Predators be without the three big free agent signings?Predictions for whether Andrew Brunette has a job next weekWhat players could help the Milwaukee Admirals in their Calder Cup run?What does next season's blue line look like?Could an extra blueliner or two wind up in a draft day trade?Another quick start, another game of catch-up!Matthew Wood gets his first NHL pointRyan Ufko makes his NHL debutWill their work ethic in game 82 help decide Brunette's future in Nashville?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

DNA Surprises: Navigating Complex Family Discoveries and High Conflict SituationsIn this compelling episode, Bill and Megan welcome Kara Rubenstein Deyerin, founder of Right to Know, to explore how DNA testing revelations can trigger high conflict situations within families. After discovering her own misattributed parentage through a DNA test, Kara became an advocate for genetic identity rights and established resources for helping families navigate these potentially volatile situations.The conversation examines how DNA surprises often intersect with high conflict personalities and complex family dynamics. Bill and Megan explore ways to manage expectations and set healthy boundaries when genetics reveal unexpected connections. Studies show approximately 10% of the population may have misattributed parentage, creating numerous opportunities for both healing and conflict within family systems.Through personal stories and professional insights, the episode addresses strategies for handling emotional reactions, rejection, and complex family dynamics. The discussion covers various scenarios—from adoption and donor conception to cases of misattributed paternity—while offering practical guidance for managing high conflict responses and maintaining emotional well-being during these discoveries.Questions we answer in this episode:How do you manage high conflict reactions to DNA surprises?What strategies help when navigating rejection from genetic relatives?How can you set healthy boundaries with newly discovered family?What resources exist for handling complex family dynamics?How do you protect your emotional well-being during this process?Key Takeaways:Support networks are crucial when managing high conflict situationsSetting clear boundaries helps navigate complex family dynamicsThe emotional impact affects both original and newly discovered family membersProcessing genetic discoveries is an ongoing journey95% of people ultimately feel knowing the truth was beneficialThis episode offers valuable insights for anyone affected by unexpected genetic discoveries while providing practical strategies for managing high conflict responses. Through compassionate discussion and expert guidance, listeners will better understand how to navigate these complex family situations while maintaining their emotional health and establishing appropriate boundaries.Links & Other NotesRIGHT TO KNOW WEBSITEhttps://righttoknow.us/UNTANGLING YOUR ROOTS CONFERENCEhttps://untanglingourroots.org/CLASSESConflict Influencer™ ClassBOOKSList of books from Right to Know websiteDating Radar ARTICLESRead Michele's blogOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:46) - Meet Kara Rubenstein Deyerin (03:19) - Right to Know (08:08) - Kara's Story (09:51) - Scenarios and Genetic Mirroring (11:29) - Commonality (12:44) - Limits (17:49) - Legal Implications (20:55) - Accurate Paperwork (21:54) - Changing Perceptions (24:00) - Healing and Grieving (27:06) - Opportunities for Conflict (29:34) - Mistakes (30:44) - The Experience (31:55) - Support Groups (36:46) - Rejection (37:55) - Choosing Your Family (40:49) - Ever Wish You Hadn't Known (42:45) - Last Thoughts (45:15) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: When Someone You Love Has an HCP Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: Even when the Preds play well, why can't they win?How much blame to we lay at GM Barry Trotz's feet?Will things naturally balance themselves out next season?Is there a dark horse candidate to replace Andrew Brunette behind the bench?Why have the Preds scored 1 goal or less in 9 of their last 13 games?There are five games left... what are we looking for in the final five games?How did Matthew Wood look in his NHL debut?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

Negotiating with High Conflict Personalities: A Transformative ApproachIn this enlightening episode of It's All Your Fault, hosts Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy from the High Conflict Institute welcome Michèle Huff, author of "The Transformative Negotiator: Changing the Way We Come to Agreement." Through her experience as a transactional lawyer and current executive director at UC Berkeley's Office of Business Contracts and Brand Protection, Huff shares insights that align perfectly with managing high conflict situations while maintaining humanity and connection.The conversation explores how Huff's unique approach to negotiation - emphasizing internal transformation and human connection - can be particularly effective when dealing with high conflict personalities. Drawing from Buddhist principles and years of experience in Silicon Valley, Huff explains how understanding oneself becomes crucial when facing challenging behaviors in negotiations. Bill and Megan connect these concepts to their extensive work with high conflict personalities, showing how transformative negotiation techniques can help manage difficult situations.The discussion delves into practical strategies for maintaining composure when faced with high conflict behaviors, including the use of "anchoring" techniques and mindful breathing. Particularly valuable is the exploration of how these methods can work even in high-stakes business environments where traditional aggressive negotiation tactics are common. The episode also addresses cultural differences in negotiation styles, offering insights into managing high conflict situations across cultural boundaries.Questions we answer in this episode:How do you maintain effectiveness when dealing with high conflict personalities?What techniques help keep negotiations productive when emotions run high?How can you recognize early warning signs of high conflict behavior in negotiations?When should you walk away from a negotiation?What role does self-awareness play in managing difficult negotiations?Key Takeaways:Understanding your own triggers helps manage high conflict situationsHuman connection can defuse potentially volatile negotiationsPhysical and emotional well-being directly impacts negotiation successSetting appropriate boundaries is crucial in high conflict situationsTransformative negotiation techniques work in both personal and professional contextsThis episode provides essential insights for anyone who deals with high conflict personalities in negotiations, from business professionals to mediators to individuals managing personal relationships. Huff's approach to transformative negotiation, combined with Bill and Megan's expertise in high conflict personalities, offers practical strategies for achieving better outcomes while maintaining professional boundaries and personal well-being.Links & Other NotesBOOKSThe Transformative Negotiator: Changing the Way We Come to Agreement (Revised & Updated Edition)Purchase on our website: https://www.unhookedmedia.com/stock/p/transformative-negotiator-fcgdxPurchase on AmazonGUEST MICHELE HUFF WEBSITEhttps://michelehuff.com/2nd-edition-book/ARTICLESRead Michele's blogOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:43) - Michèle Huff (05:27) - Her Background (11:28) - Book's Title (13:15) - Soft Skills in Negotiations (17:37) - Transferring Skills (20:55) - Mistakes in Negotiating (25:51) - Negotiating with HCPs (34:28) - Caring and Authenticity (40:38) - Finding Your Anchors and Keeping Deadlines at Bay (45:53) - Resistance (50:27) - Dedication (54:13) - Wrap Up (55:00) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Kara Rubenstein on DNA Surprises Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: Is there actually a scenario in which the Nashville Predators bring back Head Coach Andrew Brunette?Why not rule Colton Sissons out for the season?Should we put pressure on prospects to come in and deliver?When will Matthew Wood make his NHL debut?Is Filip Forsberg the lone bright spot in an otherwise miserable year?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness in Family Court: A Judge's PerspectiveIn this enlightening episode, High Conflict Institute co-founders Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter welcome back retired Judge Bruce Cohen to discuss the critical differences between assertiveness and aggressiveness in family court proceedings. With decades of combined experience in family law, social work, and conflict resolution, the trio explores how presentation style can significantly impact case outcomes, especially in custody disputes.Understanding the Impact of Communication StyleJudge Cohen shares invaluable insights about how judges perceive different communication approaches in the courtroom. He emphasizes that while both assertive and aggressive styles express thoughts, feelings, and needs, assertiveness does so respectfully while aggressiveness relies on blame and confrontation. Bill and Megan explore this distinction through real-world examples and practical applications.The Role of Personality Disorders in CourtThe discussion delves into Bill's book Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The hosts and Judge Cohen examine how to address concerning behavior patterns without falling into the trap of amateur diagnosis or labeling. They stress the importance of focusing on specific behaviors and their impact rather than clinical terms.Effective Court CommunicationBill shares his expertise on writing for court, offering practical tips for presenting information effectively. Judge Cohen provides valuable feedback from the bench's perspective, confirming the importance of clear, organized, and relevant presentation of facts. The conversation highlights how proper documentation and presentation can significantly influence court outcomes.Questions we answer in this episode:What's the difference between assertive and aggressive communication in court?How do judges perceive different communication styles?When should personality disorder concerns be raised in court?How should evidence be presented most effectively?What communication mistakes commonly harm court cases?Key Takeaways:Focus on specific behaviors rather than diagnostic labelsPresent your strongest evidence first rather than chronologicallyStart documents by clearly stating what you wantRespond to false allegations with measured, factual responsesUse headers and organized presentation in court documentsThis episode provides essential insights for anyone involved in family court proceedings, whether as a party, attorney, or helping professional. The combination of judicial perspective, clinical expertise, and practical experience offers listeners a comprehensive understanding of effective court communication strategies.Links & Other NotesCLASSESConflict Influencer (live group class)Writing for Court: 10 Tips for Persuading Decision-Makers (self-directed 1-hour course)BOOKSSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderARTICLESTaking the Assertive Approach in Family CourtManaging a Blamer with an Assertive Approach6 Ways You Should Be Assertive in Family CourtSIGN UP FOR NEWSLETTEROUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:37) - Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness (13:36) - Easy to Read? (15:51) - The Splitting Book (20:04) - Court Experience (23:02) - Patterns of Behavior (25:32) - How to Present (27:47) - Self-Represented Cases (29:36) - Writing for Court (43:29) - Get Away from the Terms (45:22) - Wrap-up (45:49) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: When Your Friend or Family Is an HCP Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: The Hockey News says Predators HC Andrew Brunette is on the hot seatWho would you replace him with?Do we have proof that Brunette still has a firm grip on the locker room?Where were his comments about veterans in December??With 4 points & 15 shots on goal in his last 2 games, is Filip Forsberg trying to lead?Did you know that the Nashville Predators are NOT officially eliminated?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

Understanding Anger and High Conflict PersonalitiesBill Eddy and Megan Hunter, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, dive deep into the complex relationship between anger and high conflict personalities. This illuminating episode explores why some people experience instant rage while others maintain better emotional control, particularly in challenging interpersonal situations.The Science Behind Anger ManagementRecent research from Ohio State University challenges common beliefs about anger management techniques. Contrary to popular advice, activities like venting or intense physical exercise may not effectively reduce anger. Instead, the key lies in lowering physiological arousal through specific calming techniques. Bill and Megan explore these findings while discussing the brain's role in emotional regulation, particularly focusing on the relationship between the amygdala and prefrontal cortex.Different Personalities, Different Anger PatternsThe episode provides valuable insights into how various personality types experience and express anger differently. Bill explains how people with different personality traits may process and display anger in distinct ways, from calculated responses to uncontrolled emotional outbursts. This understanding is crucial for developing effective interaction strategies.Connection and Anger ManagementBill and Megan discuss the surprising effectiveness of human connection in managing anger. Whether through eye contact, using someone's name, or engaging in group activities, the power of connection emerges as a key factor in de-escalating high conflict situations.Questions we answer in this episode:Why do some people go from calm to enraged so quickly?How do different personality types experience and express anger?What anger management techniques actually work?How does early childhood development affect adult anger patterns?What role does human connection play in managing anger?Key Takeaways:Not all traditional anger management techniques are effectiveDifferent personality types express anger in distinct waysHuman connection can be a powerful tool for de-escalating angerEarly childhood experiences significantly impact adult anger patternsUnderstanding anger triggers is crucial for better managementThis episode provides essential insights for anyone dealing with high conflict personalities or seeking to better understand anger management. Through research-backed discussion and practical examples, Bill and Megan offer valuable strategies for managing anger in both personal and professional contexts.Links & Other NotesBOOKSOur New World of Adult BulliesThe Archaeology of Mind: Neuroevolutionary Origins of Human EmotionsARTICLESA meta-analytic review of anger management activities that increase or decrease arousal: What fuels or douses rage?Breathe, don't vent: Turning down the heat is key to managing angerOUR NEWSLETTERGet our updates.SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTSInvite us to speak.OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:37) - Catching Up (03:43) - Anger and Ways to Get Rid of It (07:12) - HCP Types and Anger (12:23) - Conscious vs. Unconscious (13:33) - Anger and the Brain (18:20) - Learning Self Restraint (19:54) - Study Highlights (21:23) - Difficult for HCPs (23:09) - More Research (30:59) - Archaelogy of the Mind (38:41) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Being Assertive Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: Is Mark Jankowski's record-setting pace an indictment on Andrew Brunette?What is left to look forward to in the final 15 games?Is Brunette a lame duck coach?Where has all the offense gone?Is this actually a good situation for Michael Bunting to come into?How much of a player's success is situation-driven?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

Understanding Emotion Dysregulation and BPDIn this enlightening episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore emotion dysregulation, particularly focusing on its connection to borderline personality disorder (BPD). Fresh from his New Zealand trip, Bill joins Megan to share expert insights into why some individuals experience intense emotional reactions and how this impacts relationships.The Brain-Emotion ConnectionBill and Megan delve into the neurological aspects of emotion dysregulation, discussing how brain structure influences emotional responses. They explore research about brain development and its role in managing emotions, offering hope through evidence that therapeutic interventions can create positive changes.From Childhood Through AdolescenceThe discussion examines how genetic predisposition, early childhood experiences, and parent-child relationships shape emotional regulation abilities. Bill and Megan provide valuable insights for parents struggling to distinguish between typical teenage behavior and potentially concerning patterns, while exploring how media and social networks can reinforce unhealthy emotional patterns.Questions we answer in this episode:What is emotion dysregulation and how does it relate to BPD?How can parents distinguish between normal teenage emotions and concerning behavior?What role does brain structure play in emotional regulation?Can emotional regulation skills be improved through therapy?How do early childhood experiences impact emotional regulation?Key Takeaways:Emotion dysregulation is a key component of BPD but can be managed with proper treatmentBrain structure plays a crucial role in emotional regulationEarly childhood experiences significantly impact emotional regulation abilitiesThe teenage years present a critical window for developing emotional regulation skillsMedia and social networks can reinforce unhealthy emotional patternsThis episode provides essential insights for parents, mental health professionals, and anyone seeking to understand emotional regulation better. Bill and Megan offer practical, science-based information while maintaining a compassionate perspective on managing big emotions.Links & Other NotesCOACHING & CONSULTATIONConsultation (1-hour)Coaching: Live LabBOOKSThe Big Book on Borderline Personality DisorderThe Borderline Personality Disorder Wellness Planner for FamiliesCOURSESConflict Influencer™ ClassHigh Conflict Legal Dispute Resolver CertificationARTICLESKeep the Conflict Small (with managed emotions)OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:39) - Emotion Disregulation (02:18) - Catching Up (05:53) - Big Emotions and BPD (07:31) - Correlations (08:27) - Quick Shifts (17:54) - Anger Management Classes (19:03) - Teen Years (21:16) - Deciding What's Normal (27:41) - If You're the Parent (29:34) - Media Influence (32:29) - Bottom Line (33:01) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Anger Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: Were the Preds too quiet during the NHL's Trade Deadline?Could other pieces have been moved in a seller's market?Dissescting the reports of Ryan O'ReillyDoes holding onto Ryan O'Reilly make sense?Is it a good thing that Nashville has looked good (and won) three games in a row?Did GM Barry Trotz give us a hint of Head Coach Andrew Brunette's future?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

Managing Workplace Emotions: From Reactivity to ResilienceIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, Megan Hunter is joined by Cherolyn Knapp, a workplace conflict expert from the High Conflict Institute. Together, they explore the crucial topic of emotional management in professional settings, offering practical strategies for leaders and employees to handle heightened emotions effectively. Cherolyn brings her extensive experience as a lawyer, mediator, and workplace investigator to provide valuable insights into managing difficult situations and maintaining professional relationships.Understanding Emotional ContagionMegan and Cherolyn discuss how emotions spread in workplace settings - similar to WiFi - and the importance of being aware of this phenomenon. They emphasize the distinction between experiencing emotions and reacting to them, highlighting how unmanaged emotions can escalate conflicts and disrupt workplace harmony.The Power of Emotional RegulationThe conversation delves into practical techniques for emotional regulation, including the crucial "calm before think" approach. They explore how taking even a brief moment to regulate emotions can lead to better decision-making and more productive interactions. The discussion includes specific strategies like grounding exercises and positive self-talk that can be implemented immediately in workplace settings.Time Investment in Emotional ManagementA significant portion of the episode focuses on why investing time in emotional management isn't just beneficial - it's essential for workplace efficiency. Megan and Cherolyn explain how taking short breaks to address emotional situations can actually save time in the long run by preventing larger conflicts from developing.Questions we answer in this episode:What does unmanaged emotion look like in the workplace?How can leaders help team members who are experiencing emotional outbursts?What immediate steps can anyone take to regain emotional control?Why is emotional regulation crucial for workplace success?How can we break the cycle of emotional contagion?Key Takeaways:Emotions are contagious in workplace settingsBreathing exercises can quickly restore calm and rational thinkingGrounding techniques using five senses help manage emotional reactionsPositive self-talk is a powerful tool for emotional regulationSmall time investments in emotional management yield significant returnsThis episode provides invaluable insights for anyone looking to improve their emotional management skills in professional settings. Whether you're a leader managing team dynamics or an employee navigating workplace relationships, the practical strategies and real-world examples offered by Megan and Cherolyn provide a comprehensive toolkit for maintaining emotional equilibrium in challenging situations.Links & Other NotesTRAININGLEADERS TRAINING: New Ways for Work® Leaders TrainingCOACHES TRAINING: New Ways for Work® Coaches TrainingARTICLESKeep the Conflict Small! (With Managed Emotions)How to Avoid Getting Hooked by High Conflict BehaviorBOOKSCalming Upset People with EAR5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:42) - Managing Emotions (02:22) - Welcome Back, Cherolyn! (02:58) - Cherolyn's Background (05:32) - Where and How to Display Emotions (07:17) - Our Feelings and How We Express Them (08:59) - Unmanaged Emotions (11:18) - Bringing Someone Down (15:59) - Things to Avoid Doing (18:59) - Take the Time (20:56) - Grounding (24:31) - Positive Self-Talk (28:08) - New Ways for Work Coaching (30:41) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Borderline Personality Disorder Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: How good was the return on Gus Nyquist?Are guys like Colton Sissons, Luke Schenn and Michael McCarron likely to be moved?Are Head Coach Andrew Brunette's days numbered?What's up with opponents taking cheap shots at Preds defensemen?Does the NHL need more consistency in it's discipline program?Will we see prospect Joey Willis get some NHL games at the end of the yearFollow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

When High Conflict at Home Impacts the WorkplaceIn this powerful episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore how personal conflicts and challenging situations at home can significantly affect workplace performance and mental wellbeing. The hosts dive deep into understanding the impact of home-based stress on professional life, while offering practical solutions for both employees and employers dealing with these situations.The episode examines how criticism, verbal abuse, and high conflict situations at home can deplete an individual's emotional resources before they even arrive at work. Bill and Megan discuss the neuroscience behind stress responses, particularly focusing on how the amygdala's fight-or-flight response can impact professional performance. They explore how encouraging self-statements can act as a protective shield against negative emotions and criticism.A significant portion of the discussion centers on workplace dynamics and communication strategies. Bill and Megan provide valuable insights into when and how to communicate with employers about personal situations, emphasizing the importance of maintaining appropriate boundaries while seeking support. They also address the employer's perspective, offering guidance on creating supportive workplace environments without compromising professional standards.Questions we answer in this episode:How does high conflict at home affect workplace performance?What strategies can employees use to manage personal stress at work?When should an employee disclose personal conflicts to their employer?How can employers support staff dealing with high conflict situations?What role do encouraging self-statements play in managing conflict?Key Takeaways:Encouraging self-statements can help block negative emotionsPersonal conflicts can significantly impact workplace performanceThe BIF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly and firm) helps manage difficult communicationsConsider consulting EAP resources before discussing issues with employersEmployers should lead with empathy while maintaining appropriate boundariesThis episode provides essential insights for anyone navigating the challenging intersection between personal conflicts and professional life. Whether you're an employee dealing with high conflict situations at home or an employer seeking to support your team members effectively, this discussion offers practical, actionable strategies for maintaining workplace productivity while supporting mental health and wellbeing.Links & Other NotesNEWSLETTERSign upBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeBIFF at WorkIt's All Your Fault at Work!ARTICLESNew Ways for Work®: A New Coaching MethodCOURSESNew Ways for Work®: Training for Leaders (for managers, supervisors, etc. to learn how to handle high-conflict at work)New Ways for Work®: Training for Coaches (for workplace coaches to learn this method to use with clients/coachees)CLASSES: Conflict Influencer™ Class (to learn how to deal with high-conflict) OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:37) - Impact Inside the Workplace when High Conflict's Happening Outside of It (02:06) - Catching Up (05:52) - What High Conflict Feels Like When You're Involved In It (08:17) - Criticism and Beyond (11:23) - Stress and the Brain (14:01) - Conflict Tolerance (17:34) - When You Have to Go to Work (21:01) - Encouraging Statements (23:49) - High Conflict Interruptions (27:56) - Talking to Your Employer (32:24) - If You're the Employer (36:07) - Wrap Up (37:05) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: TBD Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: Here's why you can't fire Head Coach Andrew Brunette now...How good was that 4 Nations Tournament Final between Team USA and Canada?Good against Colorado but bad against New Jersey?Is inconsistency a hallmark of Brunette's coaching tenure?What would've happened if the Preds had won the 2020 NHL Draft Lottery instead of New York?Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

Understanding Psychopathy: Nature, Nurture, and Warning SignsIn this enlightening continuation of their discussion on psychopathy, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter delve deeper into understanding how personality patterns develop and why some individuals with psychopathic traits go undetected. Following up on their previous episode exploring the $460 billion annual cost to the US criminal justice system, Bill and Megan examine whether someone can suddenly "become" psychopathic and discuss the crucial developmental stages that shape personality.The episode explores the fascinating intersection of genetics, early childhood experiences, and cultural environment in forming personality patterns. Bill and Megan emphasize how the first five years of life are particularly crucial in personality development, with many patterns established by age six. They share valuable insights about identifying warning signs in relationships and workplaces, while discussing the historical evolutionary advantages that may have contributed to these personality traits surviving in human populations.The conversation takes an important turn toward practical advice, offering guidance for those who suspect they might be in a relationship with someone showing psychopathic traits. Bill and Megan discuss treatment possibilities, safety considerations, and the importance of seeking professional help when needed.Questions we answer in this episode:Can someone suddenly "switch" to become psychopathic?How do early childhood experiences shape personality development?What are the warning signs of psychopathic traits in relationships?Is psychopathy treatable?How can you safely handle relationships with someone showing these traits?Key Takeaways:Personality patterns are largely established by age 5-6Genetics play a significant role in antisocial personality traitsWarning signs include disconnects between words and actionsTreatment options are limited, especially for adultsSafety should be the primary concern when leaving these relationshipsThis episode provides essential information for anyone seeking to understand psychopathy and its impact on relationships and society. Through practical examples and expert insights, listeners gain valuable knowledge about recognizing warning signs and protecting themselves while maintaining professional and personal relationships.Links & Other NotesPSYCHOPATHY ARTICLEBerkeley Voices Psychopathy goes undetected in some people. Why?BOOKSIt's All Your Fault at Work!It's All Your Fault!Our New World of Adult BulliesCOURSESHandling Family Law Cases Involving Antisocial High Conflict PeopleARTICLESLiving with High-Conflict People: Do's and Don'ts for Living with an Antisocial High Conflict PeopleThe Sociopath: Antisocial High Conflict PeopleSociopaths and Their DeceptionsManipulators in Plain Sight: Spotting Antisocial Personality Disorder OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:39) - Psychopathy Part 2 (02:09) - Can a Switch Be Flipped? (04:26) - The First Five Years (09:04) - Looking for Signs (14:53) - Pushing Forward (23:13) - What to Do (26:12) - Treatment (30:13) - Wrap Up (31:59) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Listener Questions Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

On this episode of the It's All Your Fault podcast presented by Farm Bureau Insurance of Tennessee, Jeremy K. Gover and Emma Lingan discuss: Is the 4 Nations Tournament actually good?How often should the NHL do this tournament?Should they expand it to other cities?Why does the NHL have a track record of watering down great ideas?When should these international tournaments take place on the calendar?Pekka Rinne wins his one-game return to the ice over in Finland!Follow both of our hosts on Twitter at @ItsGovertime & @emma_lingan and then follow the show @IAYFpodcast !

Understanding Psychopathy: Costs, Characteristics, and Social Impact (Part 1)In this first episode of a two-part series, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore psychopathy, its relationship to antisocial personality disorder, and its staggering $460 billion annual cost to the US criminal justice system. Drawing from recent research and their extensive experience at the High Conflict Institute, Bill and Megan break down complex psychological concepts into practical, understandable terms.The Spectrum of Antisocial BehaviorBill and Megan discuss how antisocial personality disorder manifests, its early warning signs, and its relationship to psychopathy. They explore how these traits appear in various settings — from business environments to personal relationships — and why early intervention is crucial, particularly before age 15.Understanding Psychopathy's Three Key FeaturesThe episode delves into the three main characteristics of psychopathy: disinhibition (extreme risk-taking), callousness (lack of empathy), and boldness (absence of fear). Bill and Megan examine how these traits manifest in real-world situations and their implications for relationships and society.Modern Diagnosis and AssessmentThe hosts explore the shift from viewing personality traits as fixed characteristics to understanding them as dimensions on a spectrum. This modern approach allows for more nuanced understanding and assessment of psychopathic traits.Questions we answer in this episode:What is the difference between antisocial personality disorder, sociopathy, and psychopathy?How early can antisocial behaviors be identified?Can someone with these traits change with treatment?What role does empathy play in psychopathy?How do these personalities impact everyday relationships?Key Takeaways:Psychopathy costs the US criminal justice system approximately $460 billion annuallyEarly intervention (before age 15) is crucial for changing antisocial behaviorsAntisocial personality disorder affects about 4% of adults, while psychopathy affects about 1%People with these traits often display instrumental empathy rather than genuine empathyUnderstanding these traits can help with protection and boundary-settingThis first episode in the two-part series provides invaluable insights for anyone seeking to understand psychopathy and its impact on society. Whether you're a professional working with high conflict personalities or simply interested in understanding complex human behavior, Bill and Megan's expert analysis offers practical knowledge and protective strategies. Tune in next week for Part 2, which will explore genetics, causation, and additional dimensions of psychopathy.Links & Other NotesPSYCHOPATHY ARTICLE:Berkeley Voices Psychopathy goes undetected in some people. Why?THE MOVIE BILL BROUGHT UP AS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THIS:Catch Me If You CanBOOKSIt's All Your Fault at Work!It's All Your Fault!Our New World of Adult BulliesARTICLESLiving with High-Conflict People: Do's and Don'ts for Living with an Antisocial High Conflict PeopleThe Sociopath: Antisocial High Conflict PeopleSociopaths and Their DeceptionsManipulators in Plain Sight: Spotting Antisocial Personality Disorder OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:41) - Psychopathy (02:23) - Background for the Conversation (04:11) - Antisocial vs. Psychopath vs. Sociopath (05:48) - Antisocial Personality Disorder (19:13) - Bill's Books (19:44) - Psychopathy and Sociopathy (22:18) - Disinhibition (25:37) - Callousness (29:53) - Boldness (32:08) - Personality Dimensions (35:54) - Wrap Up (36:23) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Psychopathy Part 2 Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

Maybe your spouse has been saying, "This is ALL YOUR FAULT!"  Or maybe it is just you... wondering... torturing yourself... about whether this marriage crisis is your fault.  Are you the problem? Let me reassure you that you are not the first person to wonder that.  People search about that on my blog.  People write me to ask that same question.  Many people start our coaching sessions with the same question. So, what is the truth? Are you the problem?  Did you cause the problem?  Does that even help the problem? Many times, people like to look at one single point-in-time... frequently, a point that leaves them as NOT at fault.  They look for a time when they can accuse someone else, blame someone else, for the situation. And rarely is that accurate, or even fair. Still, we all like to point the blame elsewhere. Let's talk about this from a couple of perspectives.  One is kind of a higher level perspective, to question the concept of blame.  The other is a much more practical "what do I do?" perspective.  Both get us to a better place than simply asking, "Am I the problem? Am I to blame for our marriage crisis?" Listen below as I tackle the question:  "Am I the Problem?" RELATED RESOURCES Showing Up Blame & Shame Ruining Today with Yesterday How To NOT Save Your Marriage How TO Save Your Marriage -- System