It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

Inside the Lori Vallow Daybell Case: A Deep Dive into Criminal PsychologyBill Eddy and Megan Hunter, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, dive deep into one of the most disturbing true crime cases in recent history—the Lori Vallow Daybell murders. The hosts explore the psychological aspects behind what led to multiple murders, including those of Vallow's own children, and examine potential personality patterns that may help explain such extreme behavior.The Complex Web of Personality and CrimeBill and Megan discuss how individuals who commit horrific acts often display patterns of behavior long before their crimes. They explore how Vallow's case may demonstrate characteristics associated with antisocial personality traits—combined with possible narcissistic tendencies. The hosts emphasize that these patterns often have genetic components rather than being solely the result of upbringing or environment.Understanding Family ImpactThe episode provides valuable insights into how family members process and heal from such traumatic events. Through examining Vallow's surviving son Colby's experience, Bill and Megan highlight the importance of understanding that what seems typical in childhood may later be recognized as problematic—leading to crucial healing opportunities.Questions we answer in this episode:What personality patterns might explain seemingly inexplicable criminal behavior?How do genetic factors influence personality development?Can early intervention help prevent antisocial behavior patterns?What role does narcissism play in high conflict cases?How do family members begin healing after discovering disturbing truths?Key Takeaways:Antisocial personality traits often emerge before age 12Early intervention is crucial for addressing concerning behaviorsGenetic factors play a significant role in personality developmentComplex cases often involve multiple personality patternsHealing requires understanding it wasn't family members' faultThis episode offers valuable insights for mental health professionals, law enforcement, and anyone seeking to understand complex criminal behavior. Through careful analysis of the Vallow case, listeners gain practical knowledge about personality patterns, family dynamics, and the importance of early intervention in preventing tragic outcomes.Links & Other NotesARTICLELori Vallow Daybell / Chad Daybell articleBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict PersonalitiesSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (Second Edition)ARTICLESViolence and Mental HealthSociopaths and their DeceptionsOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:34) - Lori Vallow/Chad Daybell Murder (02:51) - Setting the Stage (06:36) - Thoughts on First Case (11:58) - Colby (13:50) - Anti-Social Personality Behavior (21:06) - Treating Younger Children (23:18) - Warning Signs (24:27) - Chad's Story (31:47) - Making Up ‘Truths' (34:16) - Narcissism (37:10) - Wrapping Up (38:48) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Shehrina Rooney and BPD Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

Listener Questions: Managing Self-Awareness and High Conflict RelationshipsIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, tackle pressing listener questions about managing difficult relationships and developing self-awareness. The episode focuses particularly on handling interactions with individuals who display challenging personality traits and navigating complex relationship dynamics.Understanding Self-Awareness and Conflict ManagementBill and Megan explore the crucial role of self-awareness in managing high conflict tendencies. They emphasize that approximately 10% of people exhibit high conflict personality traits, with self-awareness being a key differentiator in relationship success. The hosts discuss practical tools like the BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm) method and EAR statements for better communication.Navigating Complex RelationshipsThe discussion delves into strategies for dealing with challenging personalities in various contexts, including co-parenting situations and mediation. Bill and Megan stress the importance of setting realistic expectations and knowing when to try alternative approaches if initial strategies aren't working.Personal Change and External InfluencesAn important segment addresses how manipulative relationships can impact otherwise healthy individuals, potentially causing them to display uncharacteristic behaviors. The hosts explore the importance of maintaining personal boundaries and recognizing when to seek professional help.Questions we answer in this episode:How can someone who recognizes their own high conflict tendencies improve their relationships?What strategies work best when mediating with challenging personalities?Can manipulative relationships cause someone to display high conflict behaviors?How should one approach personality changes in relationships?What role do organizational structures play in conflict resolution?Key Takeaways:Self-awareness is crucial for managing high conflict tendenciesSet clear boundaries and know when to stop trying certain approachesSudden personality changes should prompt medical evaluationManipulative relationships can affect anyone's behaviorSupport systems and professional help are valuable resourcesThis episode provides valuable insights for anyone dealing with challenging relationships or working to improve their own conflict management skills. Bill and Megan offer practical tools and compassionate guidance while maintaining professional boundaries and emphasizing the importance of seeking appropriate medical and mental health support when needed.Links & Other NotesPROFESSIONAL TRAININGNew Ways for Mediation training for professionalsCOURSES & CLASSESNew Ways for Life (training to help young people learn 4 Big Skills)Conflict Influencer Group ClassBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:40) - Listener Questions (02:02) - Question One (06:03) - Question Two (11:28) - Question Three (13:38) - Question Four (18:59) - Question Five (22:40) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Bully Bosses Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

Navigating Complex Family Dynamics: Your Questions AnsweredIn this listener-focused episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter address pressing questions about dealing with high conflict personalities in family relationships. The episode dives deep into managing challenging family dynamics, setting healthy boundaries, and understanding different conflict management styles.Family Relationships and High Conflict PersonalitiesBill and Megan explore a complex situation involving an adopted son who shows signs of high conflict behavior patterns. They discuss how early childhood experiences can shape adult relationships and offer insights into managing these challenging family dynamics while maintaining hope for positive change.Setting Boundaries with SiblingsThe episode examines the delicate balance of maintaining relationships with high conflict siblings while protecting personal boundaries. Bill and Megan provide practical strategies for managing distance in relationships without completely severing ties, emphasizing the importance of scheduled communication and clear expectations.Understanding Conflict AvoidanceThe hosts explore an interesting perspective on highly conflict-averse individuals and their relationship to high conflict situations. They discuss how different personality types interact with conflict and provide insights into professional approaches to managing high conflict situations.Questions we answer in this episode:How can parents maintain relationships with adult children who show high conflict behaviors?What strategies work best when a sibling with a high conflict personality wants more contact than you're comfortable giving?How should you respond to family members who sense your intentional distance?Is there such thing as a "highly conflict-averse personality"?How do different personality types handle conflict differently?Key Takeaways:Personality patterns typically stabilize by age 25Early childhood experiences significantly impact adult relationship patternsSetting boundaries doesn't mean cutting ties completelyRegular scheduled contact can help manage high conflict relationshipsProfessional help can provide valuable tools for managing family dynamicsThis episode offers valuable insights for anyone dealing with high conflict personalities in their family relationships. Through real-world examples and expert analysis, listeners gain practical tools for managing challenging relationships while maintaining their own emotional well-being.Links & Other NotesBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeIt's All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for EverythingARTICLESLiving with High-Conflict People Series: Do's and Don'ts for living with a Histrionic High-Conflict PersonCOURSES & CLASSESNew Ways for Life (training to help young people learn 4 Big Skills)Conflict Influencer Group ClassOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:36) - Listener Questions (01:50) - Catching Up (07:20) - Question One (18:31) - Question Two (26:24) - Question Three (37:39) - Wrap Up (37:57) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: More Listener Questions Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

DNA Surprises: Navigating Complex Family Discoveries and High Conflict SituationsIn this compelling episode, Bill and Megan welcome Kara Rubenstein Deyerin, founder of Right to Know, to explore how DNA testing revelations can trigger high conflict situations within families. After discovering her own misattributed parentage through a DNA test, Kara became an advocate for genetic identity rights and established resources for helping families navigate these potentially volatile situations.The conversation examines how DNA surprises often intersect with high conflict personalities and complex family dynamics. Bill and Megan explore ways to manage expectations and set healthy boundaries when genetics reveal unexpected connections. Studies show approximately 10% of the population may have misattributed parentage, creating numerous opportunities for both healing and conflict within family systems.Through personal stories and professional insights, the episode addresses strategies for handling emotional reactions, rejection, and complex family dynamics. The discussion covers various scenarios—from adoption and donor conception to cases of misattributed paternity—while offering practical guidance for managing high conflict responses and maintaining emotional well-being during these discoveries.Questions we answer in this episode:How do you manage high conflict reactions to DNA surprises?What strategies help when navigating rejection from genetic relatives?How can you set healthy boundaries with newly discovered family?What resources exist for handling complex family dynamics?How do you protect your emotional well-being during this process?Key Takeaways:Support networks are crucial when managing high conflict situationsSetting clear boundaries helps navigate complex family dynamicsThe emotional impact affects both original and newly discovered family membersProcessing genetic discoveries is an ongoing journey95% of people ultimately feel knowing the truth was beneficialThis episode offers valuable insights for anyone affected by unexpected genetic discoveries while providing practical strategies for managing high conflict responses. Through compassionate discussion and expert guidance, listeners will better understand how to navigate these complex family situations while maintaining their emotional health and establishing appropriate boundaries.Links & Other NotesRIGHT TO KNOW WEBSITEhttps://righttoknow.us/UNTANGLING YOUR ROOTS CONFERENCEhttps://untanglingourroots.org/CLASSESConflict Influencer™ ClassBOOKSList of books from Right to Know websiteDating Radar ARTICLESRead Michele's blogOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:46) - Meet Kara Rubenstein Deyerin (03:19) - Right to Know (08:08) - Kara's Story (09:51) - Scenarios and Genetic Mirroring (11:29) - Commonality (12:44) - Limits (17:49) - Legal Implications (20:55) - Accurate Paperwork (21:54) - Changing Perceptions (24:00) - Healing and Grieving (27:06) - Opportunities for Conflict (29:34) - Mistakes (30:44) - The Experience (31:55) - Support Groups (36:46) - Rejection (37:55) - Choosing Your Family (40:49) - Ever Wish You Hadn't Known (42:45) - Last Thoughts (45:15) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: When Someone You Love Has an HCP Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

Negotiating with High Conflict Personalities: A Transformative ApproachIn this enlightening episode of It's All Your Fault, hosts Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy from the High Conflict Institute welcome Michèle Huff, author of "The Transformative Negotiator: Changing the Way We Come to Agreement." Through her experience as a transactional lawyer and current executive director at UC Berkeley's Office of Business Contracts and Brand Protection, Huff shares insights that align perfectly with managing high conflict situations while maintaining humanity and connection.The conversation explores how Huff's unique approach to negotiation - emphasizing internal transformation and human connection - can be particularly effective when dealing with high conflict personalities. Drawing from Buddhist principles and years of experience in Silicon Valley, Huff explains how understanding oneself becomes crucial when facing challenging behaviors in negotiations. Bill and Megan connect these concepts to their extensive work with high conflict personalities, showing how transformative negotiation techniques can help manage difficult situations.The discussion delves into practical strategies for maintaining composure when faced with high conflict behaviors, including the use of "anchoring" techniques and mindful breathing. Particularly valuable is the exploration of how these methods can work even in high-stakes business environments where traditional aggressive negotiation tactics are common. The episode also addresses cultural differences in negotiation styles, offering insights into managing high conflict situations across cultural boundaries.Questions we answer in this episode:How do you maintain effectiveness when dealing with high conflict personalities?What techniques help keep negotiations productive when emotions run high?How can you recognize early warning signs of high conflict behavior in negotiations?When should you walk away from a negotiation?What role does self-awareness play in managing difficult negotiations?Key Takeaways:Understanding your own triggers helps manage high conflict situationsHuman connection can defuse potentially volatile negotiationsPhysical and emotional well-being directly impacts negotiation successSetting appropriate boundaries is crucial in high conflict situationsTransformative negotiation techniques work in both personal and professional contextsThis episode provides essential insights for anyone who deals with high conflict personalities in negotiations, from business professionals to mediators to individuals managing personal relationships. Huff's approach to transformative negotiation, combined with Bill and Megan's expertise in high conflict personalities, offers practical strategies for achieving better outcomes while maintaining professional boundaries and personal well-being.Links & Other NotesBOOKSThe Transformative Negotiator: Changing the Way We Come to Agreement (Revised & Updated Edition)Purchase on our website: https://www.unhookedmedia.com/stock/p/transformative-negotiator-fcgdxPurchase on AmazonGUEST MICHELE HUFF WEBSITEhttps://michelehuff.com/2nd-edition-book/ARTICLESRead Michele's blogOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:43) - Michèle Huff (05:27) - Her Background (11:28) - Book's Title (13:15) - Soft Skills in Negotiations (17:37) - Transferring Skills (20:55) - Mistakes in Negotiating (25:51) - Negotiating with HCPs (34:28) - Caring and Authenticity (40:38) - Finding Your Anchors and Keeping Deadlines at Bay (45:53) - Resistance (50:27) - Dedication (54:13) - Wrap Up (55:00) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Kara Rubenstein on DNA Surprises Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness in Family Court: A Judge's PerspectiveIn this enlightening episode, High Conflict Institute co-founders Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter welcome back retired Judge Bruce Cohen to discuss the critical differences between assertiveness and aggressiveness in family court proceedings. With decades of combined experience in family law, social work, and conflict resolution, the trio explores how presentation style can significantly impact case outcomes, especially in custody disputes.Understanding the Impact of Communication StyleJudge Cohen shares invaluable insights about how judges perceive different communication approaches in the courtroom. He emphasizes that while both assertive and aggressive styles express thoughts, feelings, and needs, assertiveness does so respectfully while aggressiveness relies on blame and confrontation. Bill and Megan explore this distinction through real-world examples and practical applications.The Role of Personality Disorders in CourtThe discussion delves into Bill's book Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The hosts and Judge Cohen examine how to address concerning behavior patterns without falling into the trap of amateur diagnosis or labeling. They stress the importance of focusing on specific behaviors and their impact rather than clinical terms.Effective Court CommunicationBill shares his expertise on writing for court, offering practical tips for presenting information effectively. Judge Cohen provides valuable feedback from the bench's perspective, confirming the importance of clear, organized, and relevant presentation of facts. The conversation highlights how proper documentation and presentation can significantly influence court outcomes.Questions we answer in this episode:What's the difference between assertive and aggressive communication in court?How do judges perceive different communication styles?When should personality disorder concerns be raised in court?How should evidence be presented most effectively?What communication mistakes commonly harm court cases?Key Takeaways:Focus on specific behaviors rather than diagnostic labelsPresent your strongest evidence first rather than chronologicallyStart documents by clearly stating what you wantRespond to false allegations with measured, factual responsesUse headers and organized presentation in court documentsThis episode provides essential insights for anyone involved in family court proceedings, whether as a party, attorney, or helping professional. The combination of judicial perspective, clinical expertise, and practical experience offers listeners a comprehensive understanding of effective court communication strategies.Links & Other NotesCLASSESConflict Influencer (live group class)Writing for Court: 10 Tips for Persuading Decision-Makers (self-directed 1-hour course)BOOKSSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderARTICLESTaking the Assertive Approach in Family CourtManaging a Blamer with an Assertive Approach6 Ways You Should Be Assertive in Family CourtSIGN UP FOR NEWSLETTEROUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:37) - Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness (13:36) - Easy to Read? (15:51) - The Splitting Book (20:04) - Court Experience (23:02) - Patterns of Behavior (25:32) - How to Present (27:47) - Self-Represented Cases (29:36) - Writing for Court (43:29) - Get Away from the Terms (45:22) - Wrap-up (45:49) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: When Your Friend or Family Is an HCP Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

Understanding Anger and High Conflict PersonalitiesBill Eddy and Megan Hunter, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, dive deep into the complex relationship between anger and high conflict personalities. This illuminating episode explores why some people experience instant rage while others maintain better emotional control, particularly in challenging interpersonal situations.The Science Behind Anger ManagementRecent research from Ohio State University challenges common beliefs about anger management techniques. Contrary to popular advice, activities like venting or intense physical exercise may not effectively reduce anger. Instead, the key lies in lowering physiological arousal through specific calming techniques. Bill and Megan explore these findings while discussing the brain's role in emotional regulation, particularly focusing on the relationship between the amygdala and prefrontal cortex.Different Personalities, Different Anger PatternsThe episode provides valuable insights into how various personality types experience and express anger differently. Bill explains how people with different personality traits may process and display anger in distinct ways, from calculated responses to uncontrolled emotional outbursts. This understanding is crucial for developing effective interaction strategies.Connection and Anger ManagementBill and Megan discuss the surprising effectiveness of human connection in managing anger. Whether through eye contact, using someone's name, or engaging in group activities, the power of connection emerges as a key factor in de-escalating high conflict situations.Questions we answer in this episode:Why do some people go from calm to enraged so quickly?How do different personality types experience and express anger?What anger management techniques actually work?How does early childhood development affect adult anger patterns?What role does human connection play in managing anger?Key Takeaways:Not all traditional anger management techniques are effectiveDifferent personality types express anger in distinct waysHuman connection can be a powerful tool for de-escalating angerEarly childhood experiences significantly impact adult anger patternsUnderstanding anger triggers is crucial for better managementThis episode provides essential insights for anyone dealing with high conflict personalities or seeking to better understand anger management. Through research-backed discussion and practical examples, Bill and Megan offer valuable strategies for managing anger in both personal and professional contexts.Links & Other NotesBOOKSOur New World of Adult BulliesThe Archaeology of Mind: Neuroevolutionary Origins of Human EmotionsARTICLESA meta-analytic review of anger management activities that increase or decrease arousal: What fuels or douses rage?Breathe, don't vent: Turning down the heat is key to managing angerOUR NEWSLETTERGet our updates.SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTSInvite us to speak.OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:37) - Catching Up (03:43) - Anger and Ways to Get Rid of It (07:12) - HCP Types and Anger (12:23) - Conscious vs. Unconscious (13:33) - Anger and the Brain (18:20) - Learning Self Restraint (19:54) - Study Highlights (21:23) - Difficult for HCPs (23:09) - More Research (30:59) - Archaelogy of the Mind (38:41) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Being Assertive Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

Understanding Emotion Dysregulation and BPDIn this enlightening episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore emotion dysregulation, particularly focusing on its connection to borderline personality disorder (BPD). Fresh from his New Zealand trip, Bill joins Megan to share expert insights into why some individuals experience intense emotional reactions and how this impacts relationships.The Brain-Emotion ConnectionBill and Megan delve into the neurological aspects of emotion dysregulation, discussing how brain structure influences emotional responses. They explore research about brain development and its role in managing emotions, offering hope through evidence that therapeutic interventions can create positive changes.From Childhood Through AdolescenceThe discussion examines how genetic predisposition, early childhood experiences, and parent-child relationships shape emotional regulation abilities. Bill and Megan provide valuable insights for parents struggling to distinguish between typical teenage behavior and potentially concerning patterns, while exploring how media and social networks can reinforce unhealthy emotional patterns.Questions we answer in this episode:What is emotion dysregulation and how does it relate to BPD?How can parents distinguish between normal teenage emotions and concerning behavior?What role does brain structure play in emotional regulation?Can emotional regulation skills be improved through therapy?How do early childhood experiences impact emotional regulation?Key Takeaways:Emotion dysregulation is a key component of BPD but can be managed with proper treatmentBrain structure plays a crucial role in emotional regulationEarly childhood experiences significantly impact emotional regulation abilitiesThe teenage years present a critical window for developing emotional regulation skillsMedia and social networks can reinforce unhealthy emotional patternsThis episode provides essential insights for parents, mental health professionals, and anyone seeking to understand emotional regulation better. Bill and Megan offer practical, science-based information while maintaining a compassionate perspective on managing big emotions.Links & Other NotesCOACHING & CONSULTATIONConsultation (1-hour)Coaching: Live LabBOOKSThe Big Book on Borderline Personality DisorderThe Borderline Personality Disorder Wellness Planner for FamiliesCOURSESConflict Influencer™ ClassHigh Conflict Legal Dispute Resolver CertificationARTICLESKeep the Conflict Small (with managed emotions)OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:39) - Emotion Disregulation (02:18) - Catching Up (05:53) - Big Emotions and BPD (07:31) - Correlations (08:27) - Quick Shifts (17:54) - Anger Management Classes (19:03) - Teen Years (21:16) - Deciding What's Normal (27:41) - If You're the Parent (29:34) - Media Influence (32:29) - Bottom Line (33:01) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Anger Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

Managing Workplace Emotions: From Reactivity to ResilienceIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, Megan Hunter is joined by Cherolyn Knapp, a workplace conflict expert from the High Conflict Institute. Together, they explore the crucial topic of emotional management in professional settings, offering practical strategies for leaders and employees to handle heightened emotions effectively. Cherolyn brings her extensive experience as a lawyer, mediator, and workplace investigator to provide valuable insights into managing difficult situations and maintaining professional relationships.Understanding Emotional ContagionMegan and Cherolyn discuss how emotions spread in workplace settings - similar to WiFi - and the importance of being aware of this phenomenon. They emphasize the distinction between experiencing emotions and reacting to them, highlighting how unmanaged emotions can escalate conflicts and disrupt workplace harmony.The Power of Emotional RegulationThe conversation delves into practical techniques for emotional regulation, including the crucial "calm before think" approach. They explore how taking even a brief moment to regulate emotions can lead to better decision-making and more productive interactions. The discussion includes specific strategies like grounding exercises and positive self-talk that can be implemented immediately in workplace settings.Time Investment in Emotional ManagementA significant portion of the episode focuses on why investing time in emotional management isn't just beneficial - it's essential for workplace efficiency. Megan and Cherolyn explain how taking short breaks to address emotional situations can actually save time in the long run by preventing larger conflicts from developing.Questions we answer in this episode:What does unmanaged emotion look like in the workplace?How can leaders help team members who are experiencing emotional outbursts?What immediate steps can anyone take to regain emotional control?Why is emotional regulation crucial for workplace success?How can we break the cycle of emotional contagion?Key Takeaways:Emotions are contagious in workplace settingsBreathing exercises can quickly restore calm and rational thinkingGrounding techniques using five senses help manage emotional reactionsPositive self-talk is a powerful tool for emotional regulationSmall time investments in emotional management yield significant returnsThis episode provides invaluable insights for anyone looking to improve their emotional management skills in professional settings. Whether you're a leader managing team dynamics or an employee navigating workplace relationships, the practical strategies and real-world examples offered by Megan and Cherolyn provide a comprehensive toolkit for maintaining emotional equilibrium in challenging situations.Links & Other NotesTRAININGLEADERS TRAINING: New Ways for Work® Leaders TrainingCOACHES TRAINING: New Ways for Work® Coaches TrainingARTICLESKeep the Conflict Small! (With Managed Emotions)How to Avoid Getting Hooked by High Conflict BehaviorBOOKSCalming Upset People with EAR5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:42) - Managing Emotions (02:22) - Welcome Back, Cherolyn! (02:58) - Cherolyn's Background (05:32) - Where and How to Display Emotions (07:17) - Our Feelings and How We Express Them (08:59) - Unmanaged Emotions (11:18) - Bringing Someone Down (15:59) - Things to Avoid Doing (18:59) - Take the Time (20:56) - Grounding (24:31) - Positive Self-Talk (28:08) - New Ways for Work Coaching (30:41) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Borderline Personality Disorder Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

When High Conflict at Home Impacts the WorkplaceIn this powerful episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore how personal conflicts and challenging situations at home can significantly affect workplace performance and mental wellbeing. The hosts dive deep into understanding the impact of home-based stress on professional life, while offering practical solutions for both employees and employers dealing with these situations.The episode examines how criticism, verbal abuse, and high conflict situations at home can deplete an individual's emotional resources before they even arrive at work. Bill and Megan discuss the neuroscience behind stress responses, particularly focusing on how the amygdala's fight-or-flight response can impact professional performance. They explore how encouraging self-statements can act as a protective shield against negative emotions and criticism.A significant portion of the discussion centers on workplace dynamics and communication strategies. Bill and Megan provide valuable insights into when and how to communicate with employers about personal situations, emphasizing the importance of maintaining appropriate boundaries while seeking support. They also address the employer's perspective, offering guidance on creating supportive workplace environments without compromising professional standards.Questions we answer in this episode:How does high conflict at home affect workplace performance?What strategies can employees use to manage personal stress at work?When should an employee disclose personal conflicts to their employer?How can employers support staff dealing with high conflict situations?What role do encouraging self-statements play in managing conflict?Key Takeaways:Encouraging self-statements can help block negative emotionsPersonal conflicts can significantly impact workplace performanceThe BIF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly and firm) helps manage difficult communicationsConsider consulting EAP resources before discussing issues with employersEmployers should lead with empathy while maintaining appropriate boundariesThis episode provides essential insights for anyone navigating the challenging intersection between personal conflicts and professional life. Whether you're an employee dealing with high conflict situations at home or an employer seeking to support your team members effectively, this discussion offers practical, actionable strategies for maintaining workplace productivity while supporting mental health and wellbeing.Links & Other NotesNEWSLETTERSign upBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeBIFF at WorkIt's All Your Fault at Work!ARTICLESNew Ways for Work®: A New Coaching MethodCOURSESNew Ways for Work®: Training for Leaders (for managers, supervisors, etc. to learn how to handle high-conflict at work)New Ways for Work®: Training for Coaches (for workplace coaches to learn this method to use with clients/coachees)CLASSES: Conflict Influencer™ Class (to learn how to deal with high-conflict) OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:37) - Impact Inside the Workplace when High Conflict's Happening Outside of It (02:06) - Catching Up (05:52) - What High Conflict Feels Like When You're Involved In It (08:17) - Criticism and Beyond (11:23) - Stress and the Brain (14:01) - Conflict Tolerance (17:34) - When You Have to Go to Work (21:01) - Encouraging Statements (23:49) - High Conflict Interruptions (27:56) - Talking to Your Employer (32:24) - If You're the Employer (36:07) - Wrap Up (37:05) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: TBD Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

Understanding Psychopathy: Nature, Nurture, and Warning SignsIn this enlightening continuation of their discussion on psychopathy, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter delve deeper into understanding how personality patterns develop and why some individuals with psychopathic traits go undetected. Following up on their previous episode exploring the $460 billion annual cost to the US criminal justice system, Bill and Megan examine whether someone can suddenly "become" psychopathic and discuss the crucial developmental stages that shape personality.The episode explores the fascinating intersection of genetics, early childhood experiences, and cultural environment in forming personality patterns. Bill and Megan emphasize how the first five years of life are particularly crucial in personality development, with many patterns established by age six. They share valuable insights about identifying warning signs in relationships and workplaces, while discussing the historical evolutionary advantages that may have contributed to these personality traits surviving in human populations.The conversation takes an important turn toward practical advice, offering guidance for those who suspect they might be in a relationship with someone showing psychopathic traits. Bill and Megan discuss treatment possibilities, safety considerations, and the importance of seeking professional help when needed.Questions we answer in this episode:Can someone suddenly "switch" to become psychopathic?How do early childhood experiences shape personality development?What are the warning signs of psychopathic traits in relationships?Is psychopathy treatable?How can you safely handle relationships with someone showing these traits?Key Takeaways:Personality patterns are largely established by age 5-6Genetics play a significant role in antisocial personality traitsWarning signs include disconnects between words and actionsTreatment options are limited, especially for adultsSafety should be the primary concern when leaving these relationshipsThis episode provides essential information for anyone seeking to understand psychopathy and its impact on relationships and society. Through practical examples and expert insights, listeners gain valuable knowledge about recognizing warning signs and protecting themselves while maintaining professional and personal relationships.Links & Other NotesPSYCHOPATHY ARTICLEBerkeley Voices Psychopathy goes undetected in some people. Why?BOOKSIt's All Your Fault at Work!It's All Your Fault!Our New World of Adult BulliesCOURSESHandling Family Law Cases Involving Antisocial High Conflict PeopleARTICLESLiving with High-Conflict People: Do's and Don'ts for Living with an Antisocial High Conflict PeopleThe Sociopath: Antisocial High Conflict PeopleSociopaths and Their DeceptionsManipulators in Plain Sight: Spotting Antisocial Personality Disorder OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:39) - Psychopathy Part 2 (02:09) - Can a Switch Be Flipped? (04:26) - The First Five Years (09:04) - Looking for Signs (14:53) - Pushing Forward (23:13) - What to Do (26:12) - Treatment (30:13) - Wrap Up (31:59) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Listener Questions Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

Understanding Psychopathy: Costs, Characteristics, and Social Impact (Part 1)In this first episode of a two-part series, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore psychopathy, its relationship to antisocial personality disorder, and its staggering $460 billion annual cost to the US criminal justice system. Drawing from recent research and their extensive experience at the High Conflict Institute, Bill and Megan break down complex psychological concepts into practical, understandable terms.The Spectrum of Antisocial BehaviorBill and Megan discuss how antisocial personality disorder manifests, its early warning signs, and its relationship to psychopathy. They explore how these traits appear in various settings — from business environments to personal relationships — and why early intervention is crucial, particularly before age 15.Understanding Psychopathy's Three Key FeaturesThe episode delves into the three main characteristics of psychopathy: disinhibition (extreme risk-taking), callousness (lack of empathy), and boldness (absence of fear). Bill and Megan examine how these traits manifest in real-world situations and their implications for relationships and society.Modern Diagnosis and AssessmentThe hosts explore the shift from viewing personality traits as fixed characteristics to understanding them as dimensions on a spectrum. This modern approach allows for more nuanced understanding and assessment of psychopathic traits.Questions we answer in this episode:What is the difference between antisocial personality disorder, sociopathy, and psychopathy?How early can antisocial behaviors be identified?Can someone with these traits change with treatment?What role does empathy play in psychopathy?How do these personalities impact everyday relationships?Key Takeaways:Psychopathy costs the US criminal justice system approximately $460 billion annuallyEarly intervention (before age 15) is crucial for changing antisocial behaviorsAntisocial personality disorder affects about 4% of adults, while psychopathy affects about 1%People with these traits often display instrumental empathy rather than genuine empathyUnderstanding these traits can help with protection and boundary-settingThis first episode in the two-part series provides invaluable insights for anyone seeking to understand psychopathy and its impact on society. Whether you're a professional working with high conflict personalities or simply interested in understanding complex human behavior, Bill and Megan's expert analysis offers practical knowledge and protective strategies. Tune in next week for Part 2, which will explore genetics, causation, and additional dimensions of psychopathy.Links & Other NotesPSYCHOPATHY ARTICLE:Berkeley Voices Psychopathy goes undetected in some people. Why?THE MOVIE BILL BROUGHT UP AS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THIS:Catch Me If You CanBOOKSIt's All Your Fault at Work!It's All Your Fault!Our New World of Adult BulliesARTICLESLiving with High-Conflict People: Do's and Don'ts for Living with an Antisocial High Conflict PeopleThe Sociopath: Antisocial High Conflict PeopleSociopaths and Their DeceptionsManipulators in Plain Sight: Spotting Antisocial Personality Disorder OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:41) - Psychopathy (02:23) - Background for the Conversation (04:11) - Antisocial vs. Psychopath vs. Sociopath (05:48) - Antisocial Personality Disorder (19:13) - Bill's Books (19:44) - Psychopathy and Sociopathy (22:18) - Disinhibition (25:37) - Callousness (29:53) - Boldness (32:08) - Personality Dimensions (35:54) - Wrap Up (36:23) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Psychopathy Part 2 Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

Welcome Judge Cohen: A Fresh Perspective on Family CourtJoin Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter as they welcome retired Judge Bruce R. Cohen to the High Conflict Institute team. This episode explores the human side of family court proceedings through Judge Cohen's unique lens, developed over 24 years as a family law attorney and nearly 20 years on the bench in Arizona's Superior Court.Understanding Best Interests and Judicial PerspectiveJudge Cohen shares invaluable insights about the concept of "best interests of the child" and how it's applied in family court. He explains how the legal framework has evolved beyond gender preferences to focus on meeting children's specific needs. Through personal anecdotes, including the transformative "Bonnie story," Judge Cohen illustrates how maintaining presence and recognizing humanity in each case leads to better outcomes.Breaking Down Family Court SuccessThe discussion delves into practical advice for presenting cases effectively in family court. Rather than chronological presentations or attempts to prove who's "right," success comes from focusing on children's needs and each parent's ability to meet them. Bill and Megan explore with Judge Cohen how understanding jurisdictional factors and avoiding assumptions about bias can strengthen case presentations.Questions we answer in this episode:How do judges determine what's truly in a child's best interests?What factors should parents focus on when presenting their case?How has gender bias evolved in family court?What makes a case "high conflict"?How can parents shift focus from being right to getting it right?Key Takeaways:Focus on children's needs and your ability to meet them rather than chronological eventsPresent yourself authentically rather than assuming judicial biasUnderstand your jurisdiction's specific factors for determining best interestsRecognize that credibility increases when acknowledging both strengths and weaknessesSuccess comes from focusing on future solutions rather than past grievancesThis episode offers unique insights from both sides of the bench, providing valuable perspective for anyone navigating family court. Judge Cohen's practical wisdom, combined with Bill and Megan's expertise, creates an essential resource for understanding how to approach family court proceedings effectively.Links & Other NotesJUDGE BRUCE R. COHEN (RET.) Biohttps://highconflictinstitute.com/our-team/BOOKSManaging High Conflict People in CourtThe Future of Family CourtNEWSLETTERSign up for our newsletterCLASSES & CONSULTATIONSNew Ways for Families® online class for parentsConflict Influencer™ online group for parents or anyone1:1 Consultation with Bill Eddy/Megan HunterOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:04) - Welcome Judge Bruce R. Cohen (Ret.) (02:31) - Judge Cohen's Background (07:03) - Connecting (09:30) - The Bonnie Story (14:20) - Time in Court (15:22) - Bill's Time in Court (18:01) - Communicate Simply (28:31) - Best Interest Factors (30:52) - Gender Issues (36:33) - Control What You Can Control (38:09) - Identify Needs of Child (40:24) - High Conflict Cases (44:57) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Answering Listener Questions Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

Rebroadcast Alert: Our Most Popular Episode!Dive into the world of High Conflict Personalities (HCPs) and the five personality disorders that often fuel their behavior. In this groundbreaking episode from Season 1, Bill and Megan explore the common traits of HCPs, including blaming others, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme behaviors.Discover why traditional methods of interaction often fail with HCPs and gain valuable insights into managing these challenging relationships. Whether you're dealing with a narcissist, borderline, antisocial, paranoid, or histrionic personality, this episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to navigate high-conflict situations with greater understanding and effectiveness. Don't miss this opportunity to learn from our most popular episode and transform your approach to high-conflict personalities! REBROADCASTWhen an HCP also has a personality disorder...Personality disorder or not, people with a high conflict personality (HCPs) have a pattern of high-conflict behavior that increases conflict rather than reducing or resolving it. This pattern usually happens over and over again in many different situations with many different people. The issue that seems in conflict at the time is not what is increasing the conflict. The “issue” is the high-conflict personality and how the person approaches problem-solving. With HCPs, the pattern of behavior often includes a lot of these four characteristics:Blaming othersAll-or-nothing thinkingUnmanaged emotionsExtreme behaviorsHCPs also seem to have personality disorders or some traits of these disorders. This means that they have long-term patterns of:Interpersonal dysfunctionLack of reflection on their own behaviorLack of changeMental health professionals have identified ten personality disorders. Five of these have a tendency to become HCPs: those with narcissistic, borderline, antisocial, paranoid, or histrionic personality disorders or traits. This helps us understand why they stay stuck in conflict – namely because of two reasons: they don't reflect on their part of the problem, and they don't change. So, the conflict continues or gets worse.Perhaps you know someone with this pattern. Someone who insists that you – or someone you know – is entirely to blame for a large or small (or non-existent) problem. If so, he or she may be an HCP and you likely have felt targeted by them and unsure what to do.In this episode, Bill and Megan give an overview of the five types and why the ways we interact with them don't work, and why you can't get them to reflect on themselves.Send us your stories!We'd love to hear your stories so we can talk through them on the show! Please visit our site and click the ‘Submit a Question' button at the top of the page. You can also send us an email at podcast@highconflictinstitute.com or send us a note on any of our socials.Please rate, review and share this show!Links & Other NotesBooks:5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict PersonalitiesIt's All Your Fault: Managing Narcissists and Other High Conflict PeopleIt's All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for EverythingAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books and some in audio format.Training:Who Are High Conflict People?Understanding & Managing High Conflict People in Legal DisputesArticles:High Conflict People in Civil LitigationHandling High Conflict Situations During the HolidaysOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:42) - HCPs In Your Life (03:47) - Four Key Characteristics (06:27) - All or Nothing Thinking (08:48) - Personalities (10:11) - Unmanaged Emotions (11:55) - Giving It Time (13:21) - They Don't Stop Themselves (15:06) - Look for the Pattern (17:41) - Five Personality Disorder Types (21:45) - Range of HCP? (23:34) - They're Everywhere (26:31) - HCPs in Court Cases (28:07) - Antisocial (30:42) - Always Check Yourself (32:57) - Where These Types Pop Up (35:38) - When These Overlap (38:08) - Bipolar (41:42) - Wrapping Up (42:52) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: The Narcissistic HCP Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

With the recent release of "Co-Parenting by Design: The Definitive Guide for Divorced or Separated Parents," we're excited to revisit our enlightening conversation with authors Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner. In this episode, Megan sits down with these experienced family law attorneys and parenting coordinators to discuss the challenges of co-parenting and share practical advice for navigating high-conflict situations. From understanding the role of parenting coordinators to adapting to change and prioritizing children's needs, this timely rebroadcast is packed with invaluable insights for divorced or separated parents at any stage of their co-parenting journey.REBROADCASTNavigating the Challenges of Co-Parenting: Insights from Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-StoutnerIn this episode of "It's All Your Fault," Megan is joined by two special guests, Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner, co-authors of the upcoming book Co-Parenting by Design: The Definitive Guide for Divorced or Separated Parents. Annette and Nicole, both experienced family law attorneys and parenting coordinators, share their insights on navigating the complexities of co-parenting and offer practical advice for parents facing high conflict situations.Understanding the Role of Parenting CoordinatorsMegan, Annette, and Nicole delve into the crucial role of parenting coordinators in helping divorced or separated parents resolve disputes and maintain focus on their children's best interests. They discuss how parenting coordinators act as referees, mediators, and educators, assisting parents in making decisions on issues such as parenting schedules, school choice, and healthcare.Adapting to Change and Prioritizing Children's NeedsThe guests emphasize the importance of adaptability in co-parenting, as children's needs and circumstances evolve over time. They highlight the challenges parents face when adjusting to new situations, such as remarriage, relocation, and changes in parenting time. Annette and Nicole stress the significance of prioritizing children's well-being and maintaining consistency in parenting approaches whenever possible.Questions we answer in this episode:What is a parenting coordinator, and how can they help divorced or separated parents?How can parents navigate changes in their children's lives and adapt their co-parenting strategies?What is parallel parenting, and when is it an appropriate approach?How can parents handle disagreements over parenting styles and household rules?What resources are available for parents struggling with high conflict co-parenting situations?Key Takeaways:Parenting coordinators play a vital role in assisting divorced or separated parents in resolving disputes and focusing on their children's best interests.Adaptability is crucial in co-parenting as children's needs and circumstances change over time.Parallel parenting can be an effective approach for high conflict situations, but its implementation varies depending on the family's unique dynamics.Parents should strive for consistency in parenting approaches whenever possible while respecting each other's parenting time and decision-making authority.Seeking education, resources, and support from professionals can help parents navigate the challenges of high conflict co-parenting.This episode offers invaluable insights and practical advice for divorced or separated parents facing the challenges of co-parenting. By learning from the expertise of Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner, listeners can gain a deeper understanding of how to prioritize their children's well-being, adapt to change, and navigate high conflict situations. Co-Parenting by Design promises to be an essential resource for parents, lawyers, and judges alike, providing guidance and strategies for creating a healthier co-parenting dynamic.Links & Other NotesBOOKSCo-parenting by Design: The Definitive Guide for Divorced or Separated Parents GUEST BIOSAnnette T. Burns, JDNicole Siqueiros-StoutnerOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:39) - Co-Parenting by Design (01:14) - Meet Annette and Nicole (04:14) - How It Came About (08:56) - Parenting Coordinators (12:58) - Agreements (16:53) - Different Rules (22:00) - Parallel Parenting (26:16) - Multiple Court Trips (30:28) - Alienation (39:40) - Advice on Family Law (44:14) - The Book (46:59) - Wrap Up (47:17) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Co-Parenting By Design Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

As we approach the holiday season, we thought it would be the perfect time to revisit one of our most popular episodes from last year. In the spirit of the season, we're rebroadcasting our timely discussion on maintaining harmony and peace during holiday gatherings. Whether you're hosting or attending a get-together with family and friends, the tips and insights shared by Bill and Megan from the High Conflict Institute are as relevant as ever. So, sit back, relax, and join us as we explore effective strategies for avoiding and defusing conflicts, ensuring that your holiday celebrations are filled with joy, connection, and understanding. Happy holidays!REBROADCASTKeeping the Peace This Holiday SeasonBill and Megan share tips for avoiding and defusing conflict at holiday gatherings. They offer insights from their work at the High Conflict Institute.In this timely episode, Bill and Megan explain how to prevent and de-escalate heated arguments that often arise when families reconnect after time apart. Listeners gain practical techniques to maintain a peaceful, enjoyable atmosphere.Avoiding Hot-Button TopicsBill notes that the high-emotion holidays can bring out uncontrolled behavior in some. He suggests posting a respectful gathering policy and having “minders” to gently redirect tense interactions.Megan explores preparation strategies like using self-talk and conversation redirection. Scheduling reminders helps you remember useful tools in the moment.Defusing TensionsBill advocates saving sensitive discussions for one-on-one talks, where polarization decreases. Groups often split into factions and fuel discord.Megan shares a touching example of connection occurring when two mothers met and shared their grief privately. Individual stories build bridges.Why It MattersBill and Megan provide simple but powerful ways to maintain self-control and model peaceful conflict resolution this season. Their advice offers pathways to joyful gatherings.Questions we answer:How can hosts set ground rules for respectful interactions?What tools can help individuals avoid unproductive fights?When and how should difficult topics be addressed?Key Takeaways:Posting expectations and having “minders” can prevent problems.Preparation and self-talk help you respond calmly in the moment.Save sensitive talks for one-on-one conversations later.Shared stories build connections between individuals.This timely episode provides useful techniques to prevent discord and promote goodwill this holiday season. Bill and Megan's practical advice will help listeners consciously create an atmosphere of peace, joy and understanding.Links & Other NotesRESPECTFUL GATHERING POLICYDownload HCI's Respectful Gathering Policy to hang up before your holiday gatheringsBOOKSCalming Upset People with EAR (communication technique)ARTICLESHandling High Conflict Situations During the HolidaysCalming Holiday ConflictsOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:33) - Holiday Conflict (02:18) - When Someone Says Something (05:57) - If You're Hosting (08:14) - Respectful Gathering Policy (09:04) - Be Prepared (11:41) - Giving Yourself Encouraging Statements (13:29) - If You Want to Discuss the Topics (15:46) - Reason-Able (16:56) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: A New Season! Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

Protecting the Elderly from High Conflict PersonalitiesIn this episode, Bill and Megan explore the challenges faced by the elderly population in dealing with high conflict personalities. As the global population ages and birth rates decline, it's crucial to understand how to identify and manage individuals who may pose a threat to the well-being of our elderly loved ones.The hosts discuss how high conflict personalities, such as those with antisocial, narcissistic, or borderline traits, can take advantage of the elderly's vulnerability through manipulation and control. They provide practical advice on recognizing red flags and supporting elderly individuals who may be experiencing abuse.Questions we answer in this episode:What makes the elderly vulnerable to high conflict personalities?How can you identify potential abuse of an elderly loved one?What steps can you take to support and protect an elderly individual?Key Takeaways:High conflict personalities often lack restraints, making the elderly more vulnerable to manipulation.Loneliness and isolation can make the elderly more susceptible to being taken advantage of.It's essential to ask specific questions about potential abuse, as the elderly may be afraid to speak up.Family members and friends should stay involved in the lives of their elderly loved ones and be vigilant in recognizing signs of abuse.This episode provides valuable insights and advice for anyone with elderly loved ones. By understanding the challenges faced by the elderly and learning to identify and manage high conflict personalities, listeners can play an active role in protecting the well-being of the older generation.Links & Other NotesBOOKSOur New World of Adult Bullies5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeCLASSConflict Influencer™ ClassARTICLESProtecting the Elderly in Our New World of Adult BulliesOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including  audio and e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:44) - Podcast Update (13:40) - The Elderly and High Conflict (25:35) - When They Deny It (28:23) - CARS Method (32:56) - Being Targeted (35:09) - Keep an Eye Out for Them (37:46) - Wrap Up (38:31) - See You Next Year! Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

Navigating High Conflict Relationships: Your Questions AnsweredIn this ask-and-answer episode of It's All Your Fault, hosts Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter from the High Conflict Institute tackle three key listener questions about managing challenging relationships and dealing with high conflict personalities.First Question: "What do you suggest for someone who realizes they have a high conflict personality?" Bill and Megan explore self-awareness as the crucial first step toward positive change, offering practical steps for self-improvement and resources available through the High Conflict Institute.Second Question: From a professional helping a client whose "ex-wife is creating chaos with false allegations." The hosts address this challenging custody situation, offering practical advice for self-represented individuals in family court. Bill shares specific strategies for organizing and presenting evidence effectively.Third Question: Dealing with an adult brother who moved back in with elderly parents, leading to family rifts and restraining orders. Bill and Megan discuss the concept of "negative advocates" and provide strategies for maintaining relationships when family members take sides in conflicts.Questions we answer in this episode:What resources help someone identify and address their own high conflict behaviors?How can someone self-representing handle false allegations in family court?What strategies work when dealing with negative advocates in family conflicts?How can you support an elderly parent struggling with family conflict?What approaches help maintain relationships during family disputes?Key Takeaways:Self-awareness is the first step in addressing high conflict behaviorsFocus on three main patterns when presenting evidence in courtMaintain gentle, friendly communication with family members who've taken sidesProfessional local support is crucial for specific situation guidanceUnderstanding negative advocacy helps navigate family conflictsThis episode provides practical guidance for anyone dealing with high conflict relationships, whether personally experiencing these behaviors or managing them in others. Bill and Megan offer actionable advice while maintaining sensitivity toward complex family dynamics.Links & Other NotesBOOKSIt's All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for EverythingSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderCOURSESNew Ways for Families Course + Coaching for Co-ParentsConflict Influencer Class (for everyone)PROFESSIONAL TRAININGNew Ways for Families TrainingOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:37) - More Listener Questions (02:27) - Question #1: When You Realize It's You (13:44) - Question #2: When They're Making Allegations (19:26) - Question #3: When It Hurts Older Family Members (31:26) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: In the Workplace Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

Tackling Listener Questions on High Conflict Personalities in Family LawIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter address questions from two listeners about high conflict personalities in family law. They dive into the complexities of parental alienation, domestic violence allegations, and when to stop fighting in court.Listener Question 1: Understanding Parental Alienation and EstrangementThe first listener asks about the confusion surrounding parental alienation. Bill defines key terms: "refuse and resist," parental alienation, and realistic estrangement. He explains the differences between alienation caused by one parent's behavior and estrangement resulting from a parent's own actions, such as domestic violence or child abuse.Listener Question 2: When to Stop Fighting in CourtThe second listener, from Australia, asks when to give up the fight with a high conflict ex-partner who continues to violate court orders. Bill and Megan address the issue of "legal abuse" and the limitations of the court system in handling these situations effectively.Questions We Answer in This Episode:What is the difference between parental alienation and realistic estrangement?How common are false allegations of abuse in family court?When should you stop fighting in court with a high conflict ex-partner?Key Takeaways:Consider all possibilities in each case without presumptions.Parental alienation and domestic violence both exist and require careful assessment.Fighting in court for more than two years may be counterproductive.Obtain transcripts of court hearings to address false statements or bad decisions.This episode provides valuable insights for anyone navigating high conflict personalities in family law. Bill and Megan offer a balanced perspective, emphasizing the need for an open mind and case-by-case analysis.Links & Other NotesBOOKSDon't Alienate the Kids: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict DivorceThe High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival GuideCOURSESNew Ways for Families Course + Coaching for Co-ParentsConflict Influencer ClassOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:36) - Listener Questions (01:18) - Question 1: Parental Alienation (22:50) - Question 2: When to Give In (31:33) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: More Listener Questions Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

Paranoid High Conflict Personalities: Navigating Mistrust and SuspicionIn the final episode of their "Five Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life" series, Bill and Megan explore the world of paranoid high conflict personalities. They offer insights on identifying and managing these challenging relationships, explaining that individuals with paranoid traits exhibit pervasive mistrust and suspicion, often believing others are conspiring against them.Bill and Megan provide strategies for dealing with paranoid high conflict personalities, such as clear communication, setting boundaries, and seeking support. They also discuss the impact of technology and social media on paranoid thinking.Questions we answer in this episode:What are the key characteristics of paranoid high conflict personalities?How can you manage relationships with these individuals?What resources are available for those dealing with paranoid high conflict personalities?Key Takeaways:Paranoid high conflict personalities are characterized by pervasive mistrust and suspicion.Clear communication and boundary-setting are crucial in managing these relationships.Seek support and resources when dealing with paranoid high conflict personalities.As the conclusion to the "Five Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life" series, this episode empowers listeners to navigate challenging interactions with paranoid high conflict personalities, providing practical strategies and a deeper understanding of this personality type.Links & Other NotesBill's guest spot on Dr. Andrew Huberman's “Huberman Lab” podcastBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeIt's All Your Fault!ARTICLESLiving With Suspicion: Paranoid High Conflict PeopleCompassion for High Conflict PeopleCLASSESConflict InfluencerOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:46) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Paranoid (01:22) - Bill's Guest Appearance (06:17) - Paranoid HCPs (10:09) - In a Romantic Relationship (12:05) - Stats (14:43) - Mistrust (16:32) - Targets of Blame (20:17) - Targeting (26:18) - What Can You Do (31:11) - Example (36:09) - Wrap Up (36:33) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Asked and Answered Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Series: Histrionic High Conflict PersonalitiesIn this installment of "The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life" series, Megan and Bill explore the world of histrionic high conflict personalities. They discuss the key characteristics of histrionics, including exaggerated emotions, a constant need for attention, and a tendency to misjudge relationships.Surprisingly, despite cultural stereotypes, research shows histrionic personality disorder is equally common in men and women. Bill and Megan also delve into how social media and influencer culture can feed histrionic tendencies, while emphasizing that having some traits doesn't necessarily indicate a disorder.Questions we answer in this episode:What defines a histrionic personality?Is histrionic personality disorder more common in men or women?How can you deal with exhausting histrionic behavior?Key Takeaways:Histrionic personalities are characterized by drama and a need for attention.Histrionic personality disorder involves a pattern of blaming others.Setting clear boundaries is crucial when dealing with histrionic behavior.Whether you have a histrionic person in your life or want to learn more about high conflict personalities, this episode offers valuable insights and practical strategies for navigating these challenging dynamics.Links & Other NotesBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeIt's All Your Fault!ARTICLESDealing with Drama: Histrionic High Conflict PeopleLiving with High-Conflict People Series: Do's and Don'ts for living with a Histrionic High-Conflict PersonOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:38) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Histrionic (01:30) - What Is Histrionic? (08:33) - Misjudgment of Relationships (11:14) - Drawing Others In (13:16) - In Daily Life (15:34) - Frequency (19:10) - Men and Women (23:27) - Ancient Histrionic Personalities and Influencers (27:52) - Skills to Relieve Exhaustion (30:02) - Negative Advocates (31:17) - Lying and Exaggeration (32:32) - Paul McCartney (35:13) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Paranoid Personalities Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

Navigating Narcissistic High Conflict PersonalitiesIn this revealing episode of "It's All Your Fault," part of the Five Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life series, Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy explore the world of narcissistic high conflict personalities. They delve into the key traits of narcissists, the distinction between grandiose and vulnerable narcissists, and the potential connection between narcissistic personalities and domestic violence.Recognizing Narcissistic High Conflict PersonalitiesBill and Megan outline the defining characteristics of narcissistic high conflict personalities, such as their incessant need to feel superior, their sense of entitlement, and their lack of empathy. They explain how these individuals often exploit and mistreat others to preserve their grandiose self-image and how they respond when confronted with perceived challenges to their superiority.The Two Faces of Narcissism: Grandiose vs. VulnerableNot all narcissists are alike. Bill and Megan explore the contrasts between grandiose and vulnerable narcissists. Grandiose narcissists tend to be more calculated and predatory in their actions, while vulnerable narcissists are generally more reactive and emotionally unstable. Grasping these nuances can be essential in recognizing and handling high conflict personalities.Narcissism in Various ContextsNarcissistic personalities can be encountered in various aspects of life, but some fields and occupations appear to draw them more than others. Bill and Megan discuss the prevalence of narcissists in healthcare, higher education, and the tech industry, and how these individuals can foster toxic work environments and strained relationships.Questions we answer in this episode:What defines narcissistic high conflict personalities?How do grandiose and vulnerable narcissists differ in their conduct?Which fields and occupations are more likely to attract narcissistic personalities?Is there a link between narcissism and domestic violence?How can you identify and cope with a narcissistic high conflict personality?Key Takeaways:Narcissistic high conflict personalities constantly strive to feel superior and entitled.They often lack empathy and manipulate others to uphold their inflated self-image.Grandiose narcissists are more calculated, while vulnerable narcissists are more reactive.Some fields, like healthcare and higher education, may attract more narcissists.Recognizing the differences between narcissistic personalities can aid in identifying and managing them.This episode offers valuable insights into the intricate realm of narcissistic high conflict personalities. Whether you're navigating a relationship with a narcissist in your personal life or at work, Bill and Megan's expertise and practical guidance can help you manage these challenging interactions and safeguard your well-being.Links & Other NotesCOURSESConversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 ExpertsHandling Family Law Cases Involving Narcissistic High Conflict PeopleBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeDating RadarSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderARTICLESDomestic Violence vs. High Conflict Families: Are one or two people driving the conflict?Narcissists As LeadersLiving with High Conflict People Series: Do's and Don'ts for Living with a Narcissist High Conflict PersonNarcissists as Leaders: Good or Bad for Your Organization?DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HELPNational Domestic Violence Hotline800.799.SAFE (7233) USAServices AustraliaFamily Violence Resources CanadaOTHER COUNTRIES: do an online search for “domestic violence in ___ (your country or city's name)”OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:38) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Part 6 (01:18) - Narcissistic HCPs (02:48) - Social Impairment and/or Internal Distress (04:55) - See Themselves as Superior (12:02) - Feeling Entitled to Special Treatment (13:16) - Lacking Empathy (21:12) - Stats (24:06) - The Two Types (27:17) - Lying (29:41) - Apologizing (33:01) - Domestic Violence (35:10) - Stalking (36:00) - Letting Go of Relationships (40:11) - Signs If It's Your Partner (44:10) - Steps to Take (46:29) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: A Special Guest Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

Megan Answers Your Questions About High Conflict PersonalitiesIn this special "Asked and Answered" episode of It's All Your Fault, Megan Hunter flies solo to address listener questions about dealing with high conflict personalities. She shares expert insights to help listeners navigate challenging relationships, from understanding and overcoming high conflict behaviors to minimizing damage in high conflict co-parenting situations. She also advises on navigating borderline personality disorder in relationships and the challenges of blending families and building bonds.Questions we answer in this episode:How can I change my high conflict behaviors?What should I do to minimize damage to my child when co-parenting with a high conflict person?How do I inform someone they have borderline personality disorder?How can I navigate the challenges of blending families and building bonds?Key Takeaways:Self-awareness is crucial in recognizing and changing high conflict behaviors.Seek professional help, such as therapy or coaching, to work on emotion regulation and flexible thinking.Avoid informing someone they have a personality disorder, as this can escalate conflict.Focus on self-improvement and role modeling healthy behaviors for children.Building trust and bonds in blended families takes time and patience.This episode offers invaluable insights and practical advice for anyone struggling with high conflict personalities in their lives. Megan's expert perspective and compassionate approach provide listeners with the tools and resources they need to navigate challenging relationships and work towards positive change.Links & Other NotesCOURSES FOR HELPING FAMILIES IN HIGH-CONFLICT SITUATIONSFor co-parenting: New Ways for Families®(online self-paced class or take with a coach)For families who want to stay together: New Ways for Families®—TogetherBOOKSThe Big Book on Borderline Personality Disorder(also available on Amazon or wherever books are sold)The Borderline Personality Disorder Wellness Planner (also available on Amazon or wherever books are sold)ORGANIZATIONS WHO HELPNEA-BPDHope for BPDEmotions MatterDialectical Behavior Therapy Therapist ListingStepfamily SolutionsCheck out Huberman Lab podcast! Bill's guest appearance goes live October 28thOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:41) - Asked and Answered (02:42) - Question #1 (10:00) - Question #2 (18:02) - Question #3 (23:07) - Question #4 (28:21) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Co-Parenting By Design Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

Domestic Violence: A Closer Look from the Perspective of Law EnforcementIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill and Megan are joined by special guest Nick Hartbauer, a law enforcement officer with 16 years of experience, to discuss domestic violence calls and how understanding high conflict personalities can help victims and law enforcement navigate these challenging situations more effectively.Identifying High Conflict Personalities in Domestic Violence CallsNick shares his journey of discovering the concept of high conflict personalities through Bill's books and how this knowledge has transformed his approach to handling domestic violence calls. He explains how recognizing patterns of unmanaged emotions, all-or-nothing thinking, and blaming others has helped him identify high conflict individuals and better support victims.Empowering Victims Through UnderstandingOne of the most significant insights Nick gained from learning about high conflict personalities is the importance of helping victims understand that their abusive partner is unlikely to change. By sharing this knowledge with victims, Nick has empowered many to leave abusive relationships and move forward with their lives.Navigating Domestic Violence Calls: Strategies and ObservationsNick walks listeners through the process of responding to both low-risk and high-risk domestic violence calls, highlighting the importance of separating the parties involved and listening for signs of high conflict behavior, such as lying, manipulation, and lack of responsibility. He also shares how he assesses the situation to determine who the true victim is in each case.Questions we answer in this episode:How can understanding high conflict personalities help law enforcement handle domestic violence calls more effectively?What are some signs that a person involved in a domestic violence call may have a high conflict personality?How can law enforcement officers empower victims of domestic violence?What strategies do law enforcement officers use to navigate domestic violence calls and determine who the true victim is?How common is it for the suspect in a domestic violence call to lie or manipulate the situation?Key Takeaways:Recognizing patterns of high conflict behavior can help law enforcement better support victims of domestic violence.Helping victims understand that their abusive partner is unlikely to change can empower them to leave the relationship.Separating the parties involved in a domestic violence call is crucial for gathering accurate information.Law enforcement officers must listen carefully for signs of lying, manipulation, and lack of responsibility to determine who the true victim is.While not all suspects lie, many will attempt to manipulate the situation or blame the victim entirely.This episode provides invaluable insights into the complexities of domestic violence calls and how understanding high conflict personalities can make a significant difference in the lives of victims. By sharing his expertise and experiences, Nick Hartbauer offers listeners a unique perspective on the challenges law enforcement faces and the strategies they employ to navigate these difficult situations effectively.About NickNick Hartbauer has been in Law Enforcement for 16 years. He began his career working in a detention center and quickly transitioned to a Patrol position. During his time in law enforcement, Nick served as an Operator on his agency's Emergency Response Team (aka S.W.A.T) and was trained as a sniper. He also spent five years as a Narcotics Detective, working undercover investigations at both the local and federal levels. During this time, Nick assisted in an FBI investigation involving political corruption where corrupt law enforcement officers were assisting drug cartels.In addition to his investigative work, Nick served as a training officer on Patrol and during his time as a Narcotics Detective. He was also an instructor for his agency's undercover school. Nick spent time on the Impact team for his agency, conducting uniformed property crime investigations, and briefly assisted the Property Crimes Detectives.In recent years, Nick has focused on victims' crimes while working on patrol, with a particular emphasis on domestic violence investigations. He developed a passion for this area of work as he learned more about the High Conflict Personality Theory from the High Conflict Institute. Nick has incorporated the knowledge gained from the High Conflict Institute into his investigations and training of new officers.Links & Other NotesBOOKSSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderDating RadarCalming Upset People with EARCOURSESConversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 ExpertsStrategies for Helping Clients with Borderline Personalities in DivorceHandling Family Law Cases Involving Antisocial High Conflict PeopleARTICLESA Method for Managing Police-Community RelationsDomestic Violence vs. High Conflict Families: Are one or two people driving the conflict?Domestic Violence and Personality Disorders: What's the Connection?How Effective are Restraining Orders with an HCP?Living with High-Conflict People: Do's and Don'ts for Living with an Antisocial High Conflict PeopleDifferences in Dealing with Borderline, Narcissistic and Antisocial Clients in Family LawUnderstanding Borderline Personality Disorder in Family Law CasesOUR WEBSITEhttps://www.highconflictinstitute.com/QUESTIONSSubmit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in ...

The Intersection of High Conflict Personalities and Domestic ViolenceIn this compelling episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter dive into the complex relationship between high conflict personalities and domestic violence. They explore how individuals who have borderline personality disorder (BPD) and antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) may contribute to intimate partner violence (IPV), while emphasizing the importance of distinguishing between high conflict families and domestic violence cases.Bill and Megan discuss the challenges faced by professionals in identifying the true perpetrator in a domestic violence situation, as well as the underlying fears and motivations that may drive abusive behavior in individuals with these personality types. They also address the issue of accountability and the potential benefits of group therapy for individuals who have BPD.Questions we answer in this episode:How do high conflict personalities relate to domestic violence?What role do individuals who have BPD and ASPD play in intimate partner violence?What are effective interventions for perpetrators of domestic violence?Key Takeaways:Distinguishing between high conflict families and domestic violence cases is crucial.Individuals who have BPD and ASPD have a higher incidence of IPV perpetration.Setting limits and imposing consequences are essential for holding perpetrators accountable.This episode offers valuable insights into the complexities of domestic violence and high conflict personalities, making it a must-listen for anyone navigating these challenges.Links & Other NotesBOOKSSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderOur New World of Adult BulliesDating RadarCalming Upset People with EARHigh Conflict People in Legal DisputesCOURSESConversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 ExpertsStrategies for Helping Clients with Borderline Personalities in DivorceHandling Family Law Cases Involving Antisocial High Conflict PeopleARTICLESDomestic Violence vs. High Conflict Families: Are one or two people driving the conflict?Domestic Violence and Personality Disorders: What's the Connection?Living with High-Conflict People: Do's and Don'ts for Living with an Antisocial High Conflict PeopleDifferences in Dealing with Borderline, Narcissistic and Antisocial Clients in Family LawWhy I Wrote SplittingUnderstanding Borderline Personality Disorder in Family Law CasesOUR WEBSITEhttps://www.highconflictinstitute.com/QUESTIONSSubmit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:38) - The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Part 4 (01:26) - Domestic Violence and HCPs (03:49) - Bill's Background (06:48) - Stats (09:23) - Anti-Social (14:38) - Verbally Abusive (16:42) - Accountability (18:53) - Disruptive (20:21) - When Law Enforcement's Involved (23:13) - Borderline Personality (27:17) - More Reactive (28:18) - Remorse (29:41) - Can't Control Themselves (31:06) - Generalizations (31:38) - When in One of These Relationships (36:09) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Law Enforcement Guest Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

The Love You Hate You Types - High Conflict Borderline PersonalitiesIn this episode of "It's All Your Fault," Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore the world of high conflict borderline personality types, also known as the "Love You Hate You" types. They provide insights and strategies for dealing with these challenging individuals who can quickly turn from charming to rage-filled.Understanding the High Conflict Borderline PersonalityBill and Megan discuss the defining characteristics of individuals with high conflict borderline personality, including their struggle with emotional regulation and tendency to see people in all-or-nothing terms. They note that while not all individuals with borderline personality disorder have a high conflict personality, more than half of them do, making it a significant concern in interpersonal relationships.Navigating Relationships and Key TakeawaysThe hosts provide examples of how high conflict borderline personalities may behave in various settings and discuss the concept of "splitting" and the propensity for lying and seeking revenge. They offer key takeaways, such as setting boundaries and the possibility of treatment and recovery for those affected.Questions we answer in this episode:What are the defining characteristics of high conflict borderline personalities?How prevalent is borderline personality disorder, and what percentage also have a high conflict personality?Why do high conflict borderline personalities often engage in lying and seeking revenge?Key Takeaways:High conflict borderline personalities often struggle with emotional regulation and see people in all-or-nothing terms.Lying and seeking revenge are common behaviors stemming from a fear of abandonment.Treatment and recovery are possible for individuals with high conflict borderline personality disorder.This episode provides valuable information and insights for anyone dealing with a high conflict borderline personality in their life, offering strategies for managing these challenging relationships and maintaining well-being.Links & Other NotesBOOKSSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderCalming Upset People with EARDating RadarHigh Conflict People in Legal DisputesCOURSESStrategies for Helping Clients with Borderline Personalities in DivorceConflict Influencer™ ClassARTICLESDifferences in Dealing with Borderline, Narcissistic and Antisocial Clients in Family LawLiving with High-Conflict People: Do's and Don'ts for Living with a Borderline High Conflict PersonWhy I Wrote SplittingUnderstanding Borderline Personality Disorder in Family Law Cases7 Tips for Working with Clients with Borderline Personality DisorderLiving on the Edge: Borderline High Conflict PeopleCan High-Conflict People Change?OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:37) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Part 3 (01:10) - Borderline Personality (07:39) - What does the term mean? (08:50) - Looking for Connection (10:42) - Statistics (14:03) - High Sensitivity (16:26) - Splitting (18:22) - Lying (22:01) - Apologizing (24:47) - Why Vindictive? (28:46) - Finding Success (32:51) - Empathy (35:08) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Domestic Violence Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Series: Unmasking the Cruel Con ArtistIn the second episode of the "5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life" series, Bill and Megan focus on one of the most challenging and dangerous high conflict personality types: those with antisocial personality traits, also known as cruel con artists. They explore what defines this personality type, how to identify the red flags, and most importantly, what you can do to protect yourself from their manipulative tactics.Bill and Megan start by discussing the key characteristics of people with antisocial personality traits, including their lack of empathy, remorse, and their tendency to lie and deceive without hesitation. They note that while not all individuals with antisocial traits are violent criminals, many engage in secretive behaviors that can be extremely harmful to those close to them.One of the main challenges with those who have antisocial personality traits is their ability to charm and manipulate others. Bill and Megan emphasize the importance of looking beyond surface-level charm and conducting thorough background checks when entering into any significant relationship, whether personal or professional.They also discuss the confusion and self-doubt that often arise when dealing with someone who has antisocial personality traits. Megan shares a personal experience of feeling confused and questioning her own perceptions when interacting with someone who exhibited these traits.Questions we answer in this episode:What are the key characteristics of someone with antisocial personality traits?How can you identify if someone you know might have antisocial personality traits?What are some common manipulative tactics used by people with antisocial personality traits?How can you protect yourself from being conned or harmed by someone with antisocial personality traits?What should you do if you suspect you're in a relationship with someone who has antisocial personality traits?Key Takeaways:People with antisocial personality traits lack empathy, remorse, and frequently lie and deceive others.Charm and manipulation are common traits, making it essential to look beyond surface-level impressions.Background checks and seeking input from others who know the person are crucial when entering significant relationships.Trust your gut feelings if something seems "off" or too good to be true.Prioritize self-protection and set clear boundaries when dealing with individuals suspected of having antisocial personality traits.This episode provides invaluable insights into the complex and often dangerous world of those with antisocial personality traits. As part of the "5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life" series, it helps listeners understand the unique challenges posed by this specific high conflict personality type. By recognizing the red flags, common manipulative tactics, and the importance of self-protection, listeners will be better equipped to navigate relationships with these individuals. Bill and Megan's expertise and practical advice make this a must-listen for anyone looking to safeguard themselves and their loved ones from the devastating impact of cruel con artists.Links & Other NotesBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeDating RadarHigh Conflict People in Legal DisputesIt's All Your Fault!Managing High Conflict People in CourtCOURSESHandling Family Law Cases Involving Antisocial High Conflict PeopleCONSULTATIONSConsultation with Bill or MeganARTICLESLiving with High-Conflict People: Do's and Don'ts for Living with an Antisocial High Conflict PeopleThe Sociopath: Antisocial High Conflict PeopleSociopaths and Their DeceptionsManipulators in Plain Sight: Spotting Antisocial Personality DisorderOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:35) - The Antisocial Type (01:08) - The Problem (06:06) - Antisocial, Sociopath, and Psychopath (08:00) - Categories of Behavior (11:50) - Impact on Others (13:05) - Generally the Worst (14:40) - Against Society's Rules (17:59) - Counseling (19:48) - Identifying (27:00) - What You Can Do (30:40) - Saying Something (32:47) - Bit of Wisdom (35:15) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Borderline Personality Types Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

Introducing the 5 Types of High Conflict Personalities: Who Can Ruin Your Life? (Part 1)In this thought-provoking first episode of a new series on It's All Your Fault, Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, embark on an exploration of the five types of high conflict personalities who can wreak havoc in your life. Drawing from Bill's book "5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life," they provide a broad overview of these challenging personalities, setting the stage for a deeper dive into each type in upcoming episodes.Understanding High Conflict PersonalitiesBill and Megan illuminate the perplexing nature of high conflict personalities, emphasizing that these individuals often lack self-awareness and may not even realize the impact of their behavior on others. They stress the importance of recognizing patterns of behavior rather than focusing on isolated incidents, as high conflict personalities tend to exhibit consistent patterns of blame-shifting, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme behaviors.Navigating Relationships with High Conflict IndividualsThroughout the episode, Bill and Megan offer practical strategies for navigating relationships with high conflict personalities. They caution against common pitfalls, such as attempting to provide insight into the person's behavior or engaging in emotional arguments. Instead, they recommend focusing on the present, offering choices, and using the CARS method (Connect, Analyze, Respond, Set Limits) to de-escalate conflicts and maintain healthy boundaries.Questions we answer in this episode:Who are the five types of high conflict personalities that can ruin your life?What are the defining characteristics of a high conflict personality?How can I recognize patterns of high conflict behavior?What are the common mistakes to avoid when dealing with high conflict individuals?What can I expect from the upcoming episodes in this series?Key Takeaways:The five types of high conflict personalities can have a profound negative impact on your life if left unchecked.High conflict personalities often lack self-awareness and may not realize the impact of their behavior on others.Recognizing patterns of behavior is crucial when dealing with high conflict individuals.Avoid trying to provide insight, engaging in emotional arguments, focusing on the past, or labeling the person.Stay tuned for upcoming episodes that will explore each of the five types in greater depth, providing targeted strategies for managing these specific personalities.Whether you're dealing with a high conflict partner, family member, coworker, or friend, this episode sets the foundation for understanding and managing these challenging relationships. By introducing the five types of high conflict personalities and providing a broad overview of strategies for dealing with them, Bill and Megan offer listeners a roadmap for the upcoming series, which promises to deliver invaluable insights and tools for navigating life's most difficult interpersonal dynamics.Links & Other NotesBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeARTICLESWho Are High-Conflict People?The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeFive Types of High-Conflict Personalities And their targets of blame—and sometimes violence.Anybody You Know? Predictable Characteristics of High Conflict PeopleCOURSESCourses for professional trainingCourses for individualsConflict Influencer Class (live virtual)OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:35) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (01:14) - Creating Awareness (05:54) - Starting to See It Differently (12:09) - Key Characteristics (21:29) - Options (22:34) - Four Forget-About-Its (25:57) - Four Things to Do (28:56) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Narcissistic High Conflict People Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

Joe Rogan and Dr. Andrew Huberman Discuss "5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life"In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill and Megan discuss a recent Joe Rogan Experience podcast episode featuring Dr. Andrew Huberman. The episode, number 2195, focuses on Bill's book, "5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life," and delves into the topic of high conflict personalities and how they impact our lives.The High Conflict Personality: Understanding the 10%Bill and Megan explore the concept of high conflict personalities, which make up approximately 10% of the population. These individuals thrive on drama and conflict, and their behavior is evenly divided between men and women. The hosts break down the different types of high conflict personalities, including borderline, histrionic, narcissistic, and antisocial personality disorders.Detecting Lies and Manipulation: A Challenging TaskOne of the key points discussed in the episode is the difficulty in detecting lies and manipulation, even for trained professionals. Bill emphasizes the importance of being humble about our limitations and consulting experts when necessary. He also notes that changes in a person's behavior can be a potential red flag for lying or dangerous behavior.Gender Differences in High Conflict PersonalitiesBill and Megan delve into the gender differences among high conflict personalities, noting that while some personality disorders, such as narcissistic and antisocial, are more prevalent in men, others, like borderline and histrionic, are evenly distributed between men and women. They also discuss the built-in biases and stereotypes surrounding these personality types.Questions we answer in this episode:What are high conflict personalities, and how prevalent are they?How can we detect lies and manipulation?Are there gender differences in high conflict personalities?What role does trauma play in the development of antisocial personality disorder?Key Takeaways:High conflict personalities make up approximately 10% of the populationDetecting lies and manipulation is challenging, even for trained professionalsBorderline and histrionic personality disorders are evenly distributed between men and womenTrauma can contribute to the development of antisocial personality disorder, but it is not the only factorThis episode provides invaluable insights into high conflict personalities and how they impact our lives. By understanding the different types of high conflict personalities and their prevalence, listeners can better navigate difficult relationships and protect themselves from manipulation and harm.Links & Other NotesJOE ROGAN PODCAST FEATURING ANDREW HUBERMAN Joe Rogan Experience #2195 - Andrew HubermanAndrew Huberman websiteBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeARTICLESNew Ways: training for professionals mediators; workplace leaders; workplace coaches; and divorce coaches and counselors.OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:38) - Joe and Andrew (02:37) - Lying (09:30) - Manipulation (13:14) - Threat Sensing (17:40) - Conflict and Drama (28:50) - Protocols (33:55) - Spidey Senses (34:37) - Bill's Book (35:14) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Five Types of People that can Ruin Your Life Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

Navigating High Conflict RelationshipsIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill and Megan from the High Conflict Institute tackle two listeners' questions about managing challenging relationships with high conflict personalities (HCPs). They provide insights and strategies for setting boundaries, managing expectations, and maintaining a healthy connection.Understanding High Conflict PersonalitiesBill and Megan discuss how high conflict personalities can be found across all levels of intelligence and occupations. They emphasize the importance of recognizing the range of human behavior and focusing on learning how to respond effectively to high conflict situations.Balancing Closeness and DistanceThe hosts explore strategies for navigating relationships with high conflict individuals, such as timing interactions carefully, managing expectations, and maintaining an arm's length relationship. They also suggest seeking support from a counselor who can provide personalized advice.Questions we answer in this episode:How do I handle my elderly mother's high conflict behavior and maintain a relationship with her?Do HCPs understand the gravity of their language during high conflict moments, and do they remember or care afterward?Key Takeaways:Setting limits and maintaining an arm's length relationship can minimize emotional rollercoasters.Finding a balance between closeness and distance is crucial in high conflict relationships.This episode provides valuable insights and practical strategies for anyone navigating a relationship with a high conflict personality. Listeners can learn to manage challenging relationships more effectively while maintaining their own emotional well-being.Got an elderly parent whose high conflict behavior makes visits a minefield? Or a sibling who says awful things then reaches out like nothing happened? Bill & Megan tackle listeners' Qs on navigating these tricky relationships.Links & Other NotesBOOKSIt's All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeCOURSES & CLASSESConflict Influencer: 6-week class starts September 5New Ways: training for professionals mediators; workplace leaders; workplace coaches; and divorce coaches and counselors.OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:35) - Listener Questions (06:29) - Question One (27:26) - Question Two (47:00) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: High Conflict Divorce Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

In this insightful episode of "It's All Your Fault", Megan is joined by special guest Kevin Chafin, a licensed professional counselor from Kansas City, Missouri. With Bill away for the month, Megan and Kevin dive deep into the complexities of co-parenting, particularly when it comes to dealing with teenagers in high conflict situations. Together, they explore effective strategies for managing these challenging dynamics and provide valuable insights for parents navigating these difficult waters.Understanding the Impact of Divorce on TeensMegan and Kevin discuss how divorce can have a profound impact on teenagers, especially when it comes to their sense of security and emotional well-being. They emphasize the importance of parents providing a stable and supportive environment during this transformative period, even as the family system shifts from one household to two. Kevin shares his expertise on the developmental challenges that teens face during puberty and how these can be exacerbated by the stress of a family breakup.Avoiding the Pitfalls of ParentificationOne of the key themes explored in this episode is the concept of parentification – when children, particularly teens, are put into the role of a parent. Megan and Kevin delve into how this can happen when parents become emotionally needy and look to their children for support and validation. They discuss the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries and not burdening teens with adult responsibilities or expecting them to choose sides in parental conflicts.Strategies for Effective Co-Parenting CommunicationMegan and Kevin also share practical tips for improving communication between co-parents, drawing on their extensive experience working with families in high conflict situations. They highlight the value of using BIFF responses (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) to keep interactions focused and productive, even in the face of hostility or misinformation. Kevin also shares insights from his work as a mediator and counselor, emphasizing the importance of staying child-centered and avoiding loyalty demands.Questions we answer in this episode:How does divorce impact teenagers differently than younger children?What are the signs that a child is being parentified?How can co-parents improve communication and reduce conflict?What strategies can parents use to support their teens during a family breakup?How can parents avoid putting their teens in the middle of adult conflicts?Key Takeaways:Divorce can be especially challenging for teens due to the developmental changes of puberty.Parentification occurs when children are put into adult roles and expected to emotionally support their parents.Using BIFF responses can help keep co-parenting communication focused and productive.Parents should prioritize their child's emotional well-being and avoid loyalty demands.Seeking support from counselors or mediators can be valuable for high conflict situations.This episode offers a wealth of knowledge and practical strategies for parents navigating the challenges of co-parenting and raising teens in high conflict situations. With their combined expertise, Megan and Kevin provide a compassionate and informative perspective on these complex issues, offering hope and guidance for families struggling to find their way forward.Links & Other NotesAUTHOR WEBSITEKevin Chafin, LPCMissouri Chapter, Association of Family & Conciliation CourtsBOOKSBIFF for Co-parent CommunicationVIDEOBIFF videoOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:39) - Kevin Chafin and Co-Parenting (01:22) - Meet Kevin (09:26) - The Learning Mind of a Child (24:04) - Parentification (35:23) - Clarity (49:59) - Listen (50:50) - Wrap Up (51:09) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Co-Parenting By Design Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

Navigating the Challenges of Co-Parenting: Insights from Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-StoutnerIn this episode of "It's All Your Fault," Megan is joined by two special guests, Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner, co-authors of the upcoming book Co-Parenting by Design: The Definitive Guide for Divorced or Separated Parents. Annette and Nicole, both experienced family law attorneys and parenting coordinators, share their insights on navigating the complexities of co-parenting and offer practical advice for parents facing high conflict situations.Understanding the Role of Parenting CoordinatorsMegan, Annette, and Nicole delve into the crucial role of parenting coordinators in helping divorced or separated parents resolve disputes and maintain focus on their children's best interests. They discuss how parenting coordinators act as referees, mediators, and educators, assisting parents in making decisions on issues such as parenting schedules, school choice, and healthcare.Adapting to Change and Prioritizing Children's NeedsThe guests emphasize the importance of adaptability in co-parenting, as children's needs and circumstances evolve over time. They highlight the challenges parents face when adjusting to new situations, such as remarriage, relocation, and changes in parenting time. Annette and Nicole stress the significance of prioritizing children's well-being and maintaining consistency in parenting approaches whenever possible.Questions we answer in this episode:What is a parenting coordinator, and how can they help divorced or separated parents?How can parents navigate changes in their children's lives and adapt their co-parenting strategies?What is parallel parenting, and when is it an appropriate approach?How can parents handle disagreements over parenting styles and household rules?What resources are available for parents struggling with high conflict co-parenting situations?Key Takeaways:Parenting coordinators play a vital role in assisting divorced or separated parents in resolving disputes and focusing on their children's best interests.Adaptability is crucial in co-parenting as children's needs and circumstances change over time.Parallel parenting can be an effective approach for high conflict situations, but its implementation varies depending on the family's unique dynamics.Parents should strive for consistency in parenting approaches whenever possible while respecting each other's parenting time and decision-making authority.Seeking education, resources, and support from professionals can help parents navigate the challenges of high conflict co-parenting.This episode offers invaluable insights and practical advice for divorced or separated parents facing the challenges of co-parenting. By learning from the expertise of Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner, listeners can gain a deeper understanding of how to prioritize their children's well-being, adapt to change, and navigate high conflict situations. Co-Parenting by Design promises to be an essential resource for parents, lawyers, and judges alike, providing guidance and strategies for creating a healthier co-parenting dynamic.Links & Other NotesBOOKSCo-parenting by Design: The Definitive Guide for Divorced or Separated Parents GUEST BIOSAnnette T. Burns, JDNicole Siqueiros-StoutnerOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:39) - Co-Parenting by Design (01:14) - Meet Annette and Nicole (04:14) - How It Came About (08:56) - Parenting Coordinators (12:58) - Agreements (16:53) - Different Rules (22:00) - Parallel Parenting (26:16) - Multiple Court Trips (30:30) - Alienation (39:41) - Advice on Family Law (44:15) - The Book (47:00) - Wrap Up (47:18) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Co-Parenting By Design Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

In this solo episode, Megan Hunter dives into the world of high conflict personalities. With co-host Bill Eddy away, Megan takes the opportunity to answer listener questions and provide valuable insights on identifying and dealing with individuals who exhibit high conflict behaviors. Throughout the episode, she offers practical strategies for managing these challenging interactions and maintaining your own well-being.Understanding the Five Types of High Conflict PersonalitiesMegan begins by explaining the five high conflict personality types: those who fear feeling inferior, abandoned, ignored, dominated, and paranoid. She emphasizes that while each type has unique traits, they all share a common pattern of behavior driven by fear. By understanding these underlying fears, listeners can develop more effective approaches to communicating and setting boundaries with high conflict individuals.Navigating Family Dynamics with High Conflict PersonalitiesOne listener asks for guidance on dealing with a high conflict family member who acts as an "emotional bully." Megan advises using the EAR (Empathy, Attention, Respect) method to connect with the individual and help them regulate their emotions. However, she also stresses the importance of setting clear limits and imposing consequences when necessary to avoid being manipulated or bullied.Strategies for Professional SettingsAnother listener, who works in public relations for a municipality, seeks advice on interacting with a high conflict council member. Megan recommends implementing a respectful meeting policy and using the CARS (Connecting, Analyzing options, Responding to misinformation, Setting limits) method. By employing these strategies consistently, staff and department heads can maintain a productive work environment while minimizing the impact of disruptive behavior.Coping with a High Conflict Adult ChildA listener shares their experience with a mid-30s daughter who exhibits high conflict behaviors consistent with borderline personality disorder. While Megan acknowledges the complexity and emotional challenges of such a situation, she offers hope by suggesting strategies to maintain a loving relationship while setting necessary boundaries. This includes focusing on one's own well-being, seeking support from professionals and support groups, and consistently applying the communication techniques discussed throughout the episode.Questions we answer in this episode:What are the five types of high conflict personalities and how do they differ?How can I foster a connection with a high conflict individual without enabling their behavior?What strategies can I use to set boundaries with a high conflict family member?How should staff and department heads interact with a high conflict council member in a professional setting?Key Takeaways:High conflict personalities are driven by underlying fears that shape their behavior patterns.The EAR method can help establish a connection and regulate emotions in high conflict situations.Setting clear limits and imposing consequences are crucial for preventing manipulation and bullying.The CARS method and respectful meeting policies are effective tools for managing high conflict individuals in professional settings.This episode offers invaluable insights for anyone struggling to navigate relationships with high conflict personalities. By understanding the root causes of their behavior and employing the strategies discussed, listeners can develop healthier, more productive interactions with these individuals. Megan's expertise and practical advice make this an essential listen for anyone seeking to improve their communication skills and maintain their well-being in challenging situations.Links & Other Notes“LIVE” CLASSES/COURSESConflict Influencer - 6-week “live” class taught by Megan Hunter (focuses on learning the simple and necessary high-conflict skills)Bullies SeriesBully Dynamics in Families - 4 classes in SeptemberBully Dynamics in Communities - 4 classes in OctoberBully Dynamics in the Workplace- 4 classes in NovemberBOOKSThe Big Book on Borderline Personality DisorderThe Borderline Personality Disorder Wellness Planner5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeCalming Upset People with EARARTICLESRespectful Meeting PolicyOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:42) - Listener Questions

This is a rebroadcast. This episode originally aired February 8, 2024. Visit our site to hear part two, or find it on your podcatcher.Bill and Megan explore the complex issue of relationship violence, focusing on factors that may predict aggressive behaviors and how to identify potentially abusive relationships. In this first part of a two-part discussion, they examine relationship violence through the lens of adult intimate partner relationships. The second part will focus specifically on teen dating violence. Bill and Megan provide research-informed insights to help us understand the roots of relationship violence and identify unhealthy patterns early on.Questions we answer in this episode:What personality disorders or traits are associated with an increased risk for domestic violence?How can you spot early warning signs of a potentially abusive partner?What is coercive control and how does it relate to domestic violence?What happens in the brain when someone lacks impulse control?How can we avoid “jamming our own radar” in relationships?Key Takeaways:Not everyone with a personality disorder will become abusive, but certain disorders like antisocial and borderline PD are risk factors.Pay attention to charm, immediate strong attachment, and “love bombing” as possible red flags when dating.Coercive control refers to non-physical ways an abuser maintains power, like isolation, verbal threats, financial control.Impulse control problems may stem from an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex or traumatic childhood experiences.Going through personal crises or having unrealistic relationship expectations can blind us to warning signs.In part one of this vital two-part discussion, Bill and Megan provide research-informed insights to help us understand the roots of relationship violence and identify unhealthy patterns early on. Tune in to gain knowledge that could help you or someone you care about build healthy, safe relationships.Links & Other NotesBOOKSDating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to “The One” Who Will Make Your Life Hellavailable in paperback, audio, and e-book anywhere books are sold. Here are a few places you can get it.Get it on High Conflict Institute siteOn Amazon USOn Amazon AustraliaOn Amazon CanadaDATING RADAR SURVEY RESULTSRead results from entire survey here (scroll and click on “Read Dating Radar Survey Results”)HOTLINEUS Domestic Violence HotlineUS Hotline #: 800-799-7233ARTICLESDating Radar: Your X-Ray Vision In A New RelationshipPersonality Disorders and Intimate Partner ViolenceHIB PubMed article databaseDomestic Violence vs. High Conflict Families: Are one or two people driving the conflict?COURSESConversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 ExpertsMediation in Domestic Violence CasesLIVE LABLive Lab: 1:1 coaching sessions to learn to use BIFF Responses, EAR Statements, and to set limitsOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:35) - Relationship Violence Part 1: Adults (02:50) - Survey Results (08:19) - What Jams Our Radar? (14:00) - Impulse Control (19:48) - Factors in Violent Tendencies (28:58) - Domestic Violence in Family Law (33:52) - How Do You Know You're in a Domestic Violence Relationship? (35:48) - Coercive Controlling Violence (39:52) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Relationship Violence Part 2: Teens

This is a rebroadcast. This episode originally aired February 1, 2024.Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter tackle an important but tricky topic in this episode - how to set healthy boundaries with others when tensions run high. Whether it's a contentious divorce, difficult coworker, or suspected lies, Bill and Megan provide realistic examples and actionable advice to constructively handle high-conflict situations. Tune in to learn techniques to establish boundaries while remaining calm and keeping conflicts small. This episode delivers takeaways anyone can apply to enhance their most challenging relationships.They provide tips across three common scenarios:Co-parenting after divorce: Look to standards or common practices as a starting point. Focus on protecting the children and not discussing certain topics in front of them. You can only control your own behavior - walk away if tensions escalate.Workplace conflicts: Practice using the BIF (brief, informative, friendly, firm) method in emails or conversations. Don't engage in unnecessary battles - end conversations if needed.Suspected lies: Always consider three perspectives - it could be true, false, or somewhere in between. Don't react emotionally or you may become a target of blame. Reality test tactfully if needed.Bill and Megan stress practicing these techniques and finding simple but memorable phrases to use when setting boundaries. Their realistic examples and actionable advice provide takeaways anyone can apply to enhance their most challenging relationships.Links & Other NotesLIVE LAB: 1:1 coaching to learn skills (setting limits, BIFF Responses, CalmB4Think)ARTICLE: 12 Tips for Co-Parent Boundaries ARTICLE: Need to Set Limits With a High Conflict Person? Give ‘Em Your EARARTICLE: 4 Ways to Set Limits at WorkCOURSE: Conflict Influencer™ Certification Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:34) - Kicking Off Season Four (01:10) - Setting Limits in High Conflict Situations (02:00) - Co-Parenting (10:00) - The Work World (15:55) - Lying (26:29) - Wrapping Up (27:00) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Relationship Violence

This is a rebroadcast. This episode originally aired August 3, 2023.Some relationships with high conflict people reach a point where the only one getting frustrated and hurt is YOU. It is okay to walk away? Are some relationships so damaging that staying in them is damaging to you? Will the guilt draw you back under their spell? Will it trigger abandonment, inferiority, or other issues in the person with a high conflict personality, and possibly backfire on you? Bill and Megan discuss this tricky topic in relation to family, friend and other relationships. How do you know when the time is right? Should you continue trying to reconcile or just stop? And what steps should be taken if you choose to walk away? Listen in as Megan and Bill explore this sensitive, critical subject.Links & Other NotesBOOKSIt's All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame You for EverythingBIFF: Quick Responses for High Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Emails and Social Media MeltdownsCalming Upset People with EARON DEMAND COURSESHow to Write a BIFF ResponseThe Brain 101: How to Communicate EffectivelyOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:25) - Walking Away (02:01) - When Can You Walk Away? (05:41) - When They're Part of Your Faith-Based Community (08:11) - Hitting the Point (11:29) - Things to Consider With the Five Types (17:21) - Think It Through (18:55) - When Really Emotionally Hooked (22:46) - Step by Step (24:02) - Setting LImits (25:00) - Last Thoughts (26:00) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Splitting

This is a rebroadcast. This episode originally aired May 11, 2023.The definition of a “win” is different in high conflict situations as opposed to ordinary conflict. Not recognizing that a win looks quite different can inadvertently escalate conflict or take a few steps backwards. In today's episode, Megan and Bill talk about:defining what it means to “win” in high conflictdo you need to reach an expected outcome to have successtemptation to keep going when you should stopwhen do you know if you've wonchoosing your battlesavoid opening up emotions focusing on keeping people focused on thinking and doingLinks & Other NotesBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeCalming Upset People with EARIt's All Your Fault!ARTICLESTips On Offering Mediation To A High Conflict EmployeeOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:16) - How to Avoid Sabotaging a Successful Interaction (03:25) - Definition of a Win in High Conflict Situations (06:02) - Choosing Your Battles (07:57) - Praise vs. Opening Up Emotions (10:17) - Making Progress, Not Perfection (13:03) - Fuhgedaboudits (18:32) - Blame as Indicator (21:21) - Coming Next Week: Exposure and Humiliation as a High-Conflict Strategy

Dealing with Bully Neighbors: Strategies for Resolving ConflictsIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter dive into the world of bully neighbors and explore effective strategies for managing these challenging situations. As co-founders of the High Conflict Institute in San Diego, California, Bill and Megan share their expertise on navigating high conflict personalities and offer practical advice for listeners dealing with difficult neighbors.Identifying Bullying Behavior in NeighborsBill and Megan discuss common scenarios that can trigger bullying behavior among neighbors, such as disputes over property lines, noise complaints, and pet-related issues. They emphasize the importance of recognizing patterns of bullying and not automatically assuming that a neighbor's actions are intentionally malicious.Resolving Neighbor ConflictsBill and Megan outline a step-by-step approach to resolving conflicts with bully neighbors, starting with a calm, direct conversation to address the issue. If the conversation is unsuccessful or unsafe, they suggest considering mediation through a community mediation center, consulting with a lawyer to understand legal options, and involving law enforcement if the situation escalates or if there are threats to safety. As a last resort, they recommend considering moving to a new location if the conflict remains unresolved and is severely impacting your well-being.Throughout the episode, Bill and Megan emphasize the importance of maintaining a strategic, non-judgmental approach when dealing with bully neighbors. They highlight the role of empathy and the need for clear consequences to curb bullying behavior.Questions we answer in this episode:How can I protect myself and my family from a bully neighbor?Is moving away a viable option when dealing with an unresolved neighbor conflict?Key Takeaways:Set clear limits and consequences for bullying behaviorConsider moving as a last resort for your well-beingThis episode offers valuable insights and practical strategies for anyone struggling with a bully neighbor. By understanding the dynamics of high conflict personalities and following the expert advice provided by Bill and Megan, listeners can feel empowered to take steps towards resolving their neighbor conflicts and maintaining a peaceful living environment.*Note: The episode contains a sensitive story involving animal cruelty that may be disturbing to some listeners. While relevant to the topic, it's important to provide a content warning before discussing this particular example.Links & Other NotesBOOKSOur New World of Adult Bullies—How to Spot Them/How to Stop Them (June 2024) By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.BULLY DYNAMICS WEBINARSBully Dynamics in Families (September - will be 4 sessions over 4 weeks)Bully Dynamics at Work (October - will be 4 sessions over 4 weeks)Bully Dynamics in Communities (November - will be 4 sessions over 4 weeks)ARTICLESOver the Fence: High Conflict Neighbor DisputesDealing with High Conflict People (7 Tips)Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences in 2 1/2 StepsOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:38) - World of Bullies #5: Bullies as Neighbors (01:18) - Bullies as Neighbors (07:49) - Community Mediation Centers (10:15) - Real World Examples (16:40) - Listener Question (24:14) - Bullies Don't Connect the Dots (26:09) - Escalation (29:47) - Wrap Up (30:38) - Reminders Learn more about our New Ways for Work®—Leaders Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

Bullies as Leaders in OrganizationsIn this episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore the topic of bullies as leaders in organizations. They discuss the ancient personality traits that drive bullies to seek leadership positions, the impact they have on their organizations, and strategies for addressing their behavior.Recognizing and Addressing Bully Behavior in LeadersBill and Megan emphasize the importance of recognizing bully behavior in leaders and taking action to address it. They stress the need for organizations to have clear policies, set limits, and impose consequences for bullying behavior to create a healthy work environment.Questions we answer in this episode:What ancient personality traits do bully leaders possess?How can organizations address bully behavior in leaders?Key Takeaways:Bullies often seek leadership positions due to their desire to dominate and inspire loyalty.Clear policies, setting limits, and imposing consequences are crucial for creating a healthy work environment.Introducing New Ways for Work for LeadersBill and Megan introduce their upcoming training program, New Ways for Work for Leaders, which focuses on helping leaders manage high conflict situations and create a bully-proofed environment.This episode provides valuable insights into the complex issue of bullies as leaders in organizations. Bill and Megan's expertise and practical advice make this episode a must-listen for anyone dealing with high conflict personalities in leadership positions.Links & Other NotesCOURSENew Ways for Work® for Leaders: Training in July 2024BOOKSOur New World of Adult Bullies—How to Spot Them/How to Stop Them (June 2024) By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.BULLY DYNAMICS WEBINARSBully Dynamics at Work (October - will be 4 sessions over 4 weeks)Bully Dynamics in Families (September - will be 4 sessions over 4 weeks)Bully Dynamics in Communities (November - will be 4 sessions over 4 weeks)ARTICLESBullies at WorkAddressing the Bully in the Room: High Conflict Personalities in Workplace InvestigationsSetting Limits and Imposing Consequences in 2 1/2 StepsCOACHING CURRICULUMNew Ways for Work®: Coaching Manual (for workplace coaches)New Ways for Work®: Workbook (for coaches)OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:36) - World of Bullies #4: Bullies as Leaders (01:09) - Upcoming Bully Seminars (02:22) - Bullies as Leaders (06:55) - Do All Bullies Lie? (09:16) - When People See It Happening But Do Nothing (10:16) - Imposing Consequences (10:51) - When They're at the Top (13:10) - Example (20:32) - New Ways for Work for Leaders (27:39) - Imposing Consequences (30:05) - Wrap Up (30:07) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Bullies as Neighbors Learn more about our New Ways for Work®—Leaders Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

Bullying in Families: How to Spot It and What to DoIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill and Megan dive deep into the hidden world of family bullies. As co-founders of the High Conflict Institute in San Diego, CA, they share their expertise on identifying and dealing with high conflict personalities within families. Through real-life examples and listener stories, Bill and Megan shed light on this often overlooked issue.Uncovering the Hidden Dynamics of Family BulliesBill and Megan discuss how bullies often isolate their targets, using emotional repetition to wear down their self-esteem. They explain the concept of "negative advocates" – people who unwittingly support the bully by believing their victim narrative. Bill shares insights from his new book, "Our New World of Adult Bullies," highlighting the manipulative tactics bullies employ to maintain control.The conversation turns to the role of bullies as gatekeepers, controlling access to children, elderly parents, and financial information. Bill emphasizes the importance of recognizing these patterns and seeking support from siblings, therapists, or legal professionals when necessary.Questions we answer in this episode:What are the hidden dynamics of family bullies?How do bullies isolate and control their targets?What role do "negative advocates" play in enabling bullies?How can we protect children and elderly parents from bullying and abuse?What resources are available for those dealing with family bullies?Key Takeaways:Bullies often use emotional repetition and isolation to wear down their targets.Bullies may act as gatekeepers, controlling access to children, elderly parents, and financial information.Increased awareness and training are needed among professionals who work with vulnerable populations.Seeking support from siblings, therapists, or legal professionals can be crucial in dealing with family bullies.There is hope – resources and support systems exist to help stop bullying behavior.This episode is a must-listen for anyone who has experienced or witnessed bullying within their family. By understanding the dynamics at play and learning how to respond effectively, listeners can take steps towards creating healthier, safer relationships.Links & Other NotesBULLY DYNAMICS IN FAMILIES WEBINARBully Dynamics in Families (September - 4 sessions over 4 weeks)BOOKSOur New World of Adult Bullies—How to Spot Them/How to Stop Them (June 2024) By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeBIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media MeltdownsCalming Upset People with EAR: How Statements Showing Empathy, Attention, and Respect Can Quickly Defuse a ConflictOTHER BULLY DYNAMICS WEBINARSBully Dynamics at Work (October - will be 4 sessions over 4 weeks)Bully Dynamics in Communities (November - will be 4 sessions over 4 weeks)COURSESConflict Influencer Class for Co-Parents and Other Family Members: starts in JulyARTICLESSetting Limits and Imposing Consequences in 2 1/2 StepsOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:36) - World of Bullies #3: Bullies and Families (01:14) - Bill's New Book (02:08) - Bullies in Families (05:13) - Target of Blame (07:11) - Listener's Situation (18:21) - Bullies as Gatekeepers (21:24) - What Do You Do? (23:59) - Children Being Bullied (28:37) - Wrap Up (30:08) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Bullies as Leaders Learn more about our New Ways for Work®—Leaders Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

Confronting Bullies in the Workplace and Mediation with Bill Eddy and Michael LomaxIn the second episode of the World of Bullies series, Bill and Megan welcome Michael Lomax to explore bullying in the workplace and mediation. As co-founders of the High Conflict Institute and an esteemed speaker, respectively, they share their expertise on handling high conflict personalities in professional settings.Bill and Michael emphasize the importance of managers thoroughly investigating bullying allegations and understanding the key characteristics of bullies, such as a lack of self-restraint, empathy, and remorse. They also discuss how bullies use emotional tactics to manipulate their targets and recruit negative advocates. Michael shares his experience meeting with alleged bullies who often present themselves as victims.Questions we answer in this episode:What are the key characteristics of a workplace bully?How can managers effectively respond to bullying allegations?How can mediators handle high conflict personalities in mediation?Key Takeaways:Managers should approach bullying allegations with a healthy skepticism and thoroughly investigate complaints.Bullies often lack self-restraint, empathy, and remorse, and may recruit negative advocates to help target their victims.Mediators can effectively handle high conflict personalities by remaining calm, setting boundaries, and focusing on realistic objectives.This episode provides valuable insights and strategies for navigating bullying in the workplace and mediation, equipping listeners with the tools needed to create a healthier work environment.Links & Other NotesBOOKSOur New World of Adult Bullies—How to Spot Them/How to Stop Them (June 2024) By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Mediating High Conflict Disputes (By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., and Michael Lomax, JD)BULLY DYNAMICS WEBINARSBully Dynamics in Families (September - will be 4 sessions over 4 weeks)Bully Dynamics at Work (October - will be 4 sessions over 4 weeks)Bully Dynamics in Communities (November - will be 4 sessions over 4 weeks)ARTICLESSetting Limits and Imposing Consequences in 2 1/2 StepsCOACHING CURRICULUMNew Ways for Work®: Coaching Manual (for workplace coaches)New Ways for Work®: Workbook (for coachees)OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:41) - World of Bullies #2: Bullying in the Workplace and in Mediation (01:22) - Michael Lomax's Background (03:58) - Bullies in the Workplace (23:07) - Bullies in Mediation (39:43) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Bullies in Families Learn more about our New Ways for Work®—Leaders Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

World of Bullies: Bill Eddy's Groundbreaking New BookIn this first episode of our new "World of Bullies" series, based on Bill Eddy's new book, Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them, How to Stop Them, Bill and Megan dive into the timely topic of adult bullying. As co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, they provide invaluable insights for listeners.Bill shares that his inspiration for the book came during the COVID-19 pandemic when he noticed an increase in bullying behavior across society. He emphasizes the importance of understanding bullies and the need for structure, limits, and consequences to curb their destructive behavior.Megan highlights that while society has generally evolved to be more cooperative, high emotion media has influenced people's thinking and behavior, leading to a concerning shift in culture.Questions we answer in this episode:What inspired this "World of Bullies" series and Bill's book?How have the COVID-19 pandemic, the media, online culture, and more influenced bullying behavior?How can we effectively deal with bullies in our lives?Key Takeaways:Bullies require structure, limits, and consequences.High emotion media has contributed to a shift toward more bullying.Bill's new SLIC method (setting limits and imposing consequences) is effective for dealing with bullies.This episode sets the stage for the "World of Bullies" series, providing listeners with a comprehensive understanding of adult bullying and equipping them with practical tools to navigate challenging situations. Bill and Megan's expertise makes this a must-listen for anyone seeking to create a more harmonious environment in their lives.Links & Other NotesBOOKSOur New World of Adult Bullies—How to Spot Them/How to Stop Them (June 2024) By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.BULLY DYNAMICS WEBINARSBully Dynamics in Families (September - 4 sessions over 4 weeks)Bully Dynamics at Work (October - 4 sessions over 4 weeks)Bully Dynamics in Communities (November - 4 sessions over 4 weeks)ARTICLESSetting Limits and Imposing Consequences in 2 1/2 StepsHow to Set Limits on Bullying in Congress—and Anywhere ElseMTG, Jasmine Crockett and AOC AltercationBillionaire's wife stinks of entitlement as messages show her trying to bully woman with same last name for Instagram handleOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:35) - New Series: World of Bullies (01:58) - The Reasons to Write It (05:55) - Why Are We Devolving? (08:41) - Mirroring (11:02) - Finding Balance (13:38) - Increase in Anxiety (14:35) - Reacting Faster (17:31) - Becoming Isolated (18:08) - Unrestrained Personalities (20:49) - SLIC Solutions (25:11) - Prison and Weinstein Examples (29:43) - Congress Example (37:05) - Social Media Examples (42:27) - Coaching to Not Bully (44:08) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Bullys at Work and in Mediation Learn more about our New Ways for Work®—Leaders Coaching Sessions. Get started today!