Menopodcast - Menopause For The 21st Century

Welcome to Menopodcast! This is our intro episode and we spend a little time talking about who we are, our menopause, and where we got the name for the podcast. We spend time wondering if anything like Menopause happens to Men? Or is it just for us Ladies?   We also chat about getting answers to the things happening to our bodies. We discuss the difference between being self-motivated and being selfish. We have decided to “pod what you know,” and that, for us, is menopause. We have decided that we will read chapters from our “menopause bible” - The Wisdom of Menopause by Christiane Northrup, M.D. And we generally discuss the format of the show to come. Thanks for listening!

More in depth about the why: - Age before blonde: Sarah talks about turning 55 and apparently being in Menopause - talks about the wine- and sugar-induced hot flashes, the heart palpitations that came on suddenly and could be part of menopause, but have been told her hormone levels were those of an ovulating woman - We wonder: is it quantifiable? How much “in menopause” can you be? - Julia tells her story about having a baby at 44 and now being 50  - she found her body changed after the baby, has not had a period for 2 years, and slowly realized she was probably in menopause. She was feeling hormones were out of whack, felt her life was out of balance. The Murderous Rage is born. Dr. prescribed hormone replacement therapy - estrogen patch and progesterone pills - is wanting to get a follow-up with her dr. Wondering if an Endocrinologist would be appropriate? - first time we hear “Koo-Koo Bananas” (and it won't be the last) Disclaimer: we are not doctors; do not take what we say as medical advice! The importance of finding someone who will listen to you and hear what you need We find that everyone has had a different experience with their menopause - different symptoms, different ways to treat, different coping mechanisms There is an estrogen spray? Our approaches are our choice, but we support people trying whatever they like “Let me tell you how to have your baby” Or menopause Sarah reflects that during heart episode not one of the doctors said “Menopause” until the cardiologist Origin stories - we reflect on when we started our periods - Julia started at age 11 - early developer - how her Mom wanted to tell Grandma! And how mortifying it was to her. Sarah was 12 and they discuss learning how to use tampons - her dad wanted to have a party to celebrate - and of she wanted to die - teenage girls are embarrassed , how could they not be! We are going to be open about menopause Launch of “How Hot was Your Flash?” Sarah has a hot flash even in an air-conditioned room in the middle of the night. Julia’s better at sleeping through the night  

  We discuss an article called “Menopausal Women are the New Black” and that we’re being called the Perennials, which leads to chatting about Julia’s Mom, and fashion trends that work for women of many ages - like the crossover of shopping at the same stores: Old Navy, Hollister, H&M etc. We get into a segment called Bible Study - where we read a chapter of the Wisdom of Menopause by Christiane Northrup and discuss it. So we started with Chapter 7 “Balance your hormone and prevent middle aged spread” Look, it’s harder to lose weight when you’re in menopause. There you have it. But you gotta start where you are. We talk about when Julia was a kid, she was an athlete - plus when she was in college she rowed crew - show a pic! Dr. Northrup talks about how what worked before may not work now. Gotta change it up! We discuss what workouts work for us. And what our overall diets look like. And we commiserate about how easy it is for Men to lose weight. We also calculate our BMIs. And we tell the world how much we weigh! Dr. Northrup cautions for patience. Plus SUPPLEMENTS. (“I didn’t ask for the Anal Probe.”) We discuss our body image issues. “How Hot Was Your Flash?” Our friend told us a story about a group of women who when they all got together, even in Winter, they would all strip down to their tank tops! Julia paid attention to her patch and it helped. UPDATE - We discuss how we don't get paid if you buy the book, but we have since become Amazon affiliates. So now if you do buy the book, we will be paid a small commission. 

Julia talks about a man who pulled over to tell her she looked good and what that meant to her - nice, but a little strange! Especially now, weeks later, with all the news. Bible Study: chapter 10 - Brain Health - Sarah was very interested in the part of the chapter about sleeping, because who doesn’t want more and better sleep? Dr. Northrup talks about the “Gerbil Wheel” effect and a trick to stop worrying at night: write your worries down and think about them later - Sarah tried it and it worked! Julia, the lucky one, has always been a good sleeper! Can Estrogen therapy help put off dementia? Depression is not an issue for us personally, which we are grateful for, but what’s underneath the murderous rage? Finding the the joy in life and get over yourself! Memory issues - menopause can affect memory and it may not be signs of dementia - your brain can become more sophisticated as you age! And keep your brain sharp by learning new things! We want to ban the words: SENIOR MOMENT Mentioned the book: “Simple art of not giving a fuck” because menopause can be a time when all the unnecessary stuff falls away.

Julia had a busy week with International travel, meeting a wonderful Concierge, and her daughter ending Preschool. Sarah’s youngest is starting High School, even though it feels like Summer. And she’s slept so well after last week’s episode’s tip from Dr. Northrup. How Hot Was Your Flash: neither of us had any this week, but our mutual friend had not had any in a year and has now had one again, out of the blue. Bible Study: Chapter 11 From Rosebud to Rose Hip: the chapter deals with skincare. One subtitle “making peace with your changing skin” We talk about our skin, about how we got a lot of sunburns when we were kids in Hawaii, and so we’ve got some sun damage to deal with. We acknowledge that we have wrinkles, but we wonder if we could change our skin tone and glow by eating differently and getting more rest? Worth a try!  We chat about Antioxidants and Free Radicals - which sounded like mumbo jumbo when we first heard about it, but turns out is real science… We talk about how we don’t follow through on the routines that our Dermatologists have given us. Hmmm. We talk about “Don’t go to the drugstore without me” Sarah may not have acne, but she has hair in places she would prefer not to. She has a lot of hair over her whole body. When she was a kid she used hair bleach, she’s done electrolysis, laser treatments, waxing plucking. Thank you, Mediterranean genes. But she would rather HAVE hair than go bald. And Sarah is jealous of Julia being BLONDE. We talk about age spots - and especially our HANDS. We learned it comes from the inside out. We ended by talking about how menopause happens to everyone in a different way. We wonder about someone who is young but had an emergency hysterectomy and went through menopause - she has the murderous rage - but what happens later?  

We chit chat about our week and our kids’ Summer Camps as school is about to start. And Sarah has turned 55, with an 18-year old son now - a big birthday week for her family. We chat about Menopause fashion - and a thing called MenoCore, which is based on something called NormCore, and resembles the wardrobe from the movie Annie Hall. It says COMFORT to us, so we’re all about that. Although Sarah has wanted to dress like a GrownUp lately, and then we discuss our personal styles. Bible Study - Chapter 2 from the Wisdom of Menopause “The brain catches fire” and it was not as much about the brain as we thought it would be. The crux of the chapter is that the changes that happen in Menopause are as big as the changes that happened in puberty. Which is fascinating and hilarious as we think about what we were like at 11 or 12… We wonder - is happiness really your choice? Or do our circumstances really define our attitude? The chapter talks about attitude being very important to how you get through menopause and beyond. And we talk about our own dispositions - Julia has a sunny outlook and Sarah has some fears she feels may have held her back from some things… Comparing our suffering/issues to others’ just keep us stuck in our intellect, rather than staying in the emotions. Sarah wonders about the line between feeling your feelings and wallowing in them… And discussion of how to handle anger. Plus the chapter mentions Chakras, so we discuss a bit of what we know about the symbolism of the Chakras. Sarah signed up for the Northrup newsletter How Hot was your Flash? Julia had one during the night - or at least she’s 90% sure she had one… but woke up super hot. But Sarah didn’t really have one this week.

Feeling the disconnect between what menopause is “supposed to be like” and what it is really like for us. It's not a time of free time for us since we’re not retired or with an empty nest - we have children and we’re still working. We are not the oldest parents we know, which is interesting. Bible study - chapter 12 - Building Healthy Bones from the Wisdom of Menopause by the Christianne Northrup - we liked this chapter - found it a good reminder of things to do and not too “scoldy”. Julia noted how everything is connected. Your bone health relates to your overall health. We were surprised to find that Osteoporosis begins in perimenopause. Great!! #sarcasm Sarah has had her bone density tested and it was fine at the time. Probably it’s time to recheck… And there’s a checklist in the chapter about things that put you at risk and we don’t have many of the things on the list - thankfully. We do spend a lot of time indoors and we do spend time sitting at our computers, which are both bad things. We are both working on changes to our diet, like reducing alcohol and caffeine, but it’s a challenge. We each decide to eliminate something - either caffeine or alcohol, but maybe not both at once… We were thrilled to read in the chapter about a study where women in their 70s did a strength training program and had very positive results not only on their strength but on their bone density as well. Julia’s MIL had a hip replacement at 93, but because she had been physically active her whole life, she recovered very quickly. She had been a bowler for many, many years. Dr. Northrup talks about working out in order to LIVE, as opposed to “living to work out”. Both Sarah and Julia were athletes as kids, and the studies support how important that is to your lifelong health. And then Julia was a member of her college’s crew team. We talk about how best to get our vitamin D levels up to where they should be. And we talk about how busy we are, and yet how critical it is to find the time to exercise. Or MAKE the time. We promise to be accountable to each other for our fitness. Plus we’ve both added flax to our diet. Baby steps, right?  

Both Sarah and Julia avoided drinking wine this week and found great results, especially in sleeping. And they both got up at 5am every day. Shout-out to the podcast Julia loves called “You must remember this”. It was the first week of school for Julia’s daughter and Sarah’s youngest son, and we chat about how it went. And we reflect on what school was like for us, back in Hawaii. Bible Study from the Wisdom of Menopause by the Christianne Northrup Chapter 13 - Creating Breast Health. “They’re called Boobs, Ed.” - a great line from Erin Brockovich We feel we’ve had a love-hate relationship with our breasts our whole lives. We talk about how Breast cancer has touched our lives: Sarah’s Mother and Grandmother died of breast cancer and one of her Aunt’s worked in breast cancer research for 20 years. Julia doesn’t feel that she has a fear of breast cancer, as is discussed in the chapter. We discuss how and whether attitude can affect your health. And we go through the checklist. Sarah talks about a time in her life when she was very wrapped up in her kids’ life and the school PTA and her own health suffered. She really put herself last. They both talk about how important it is to find something in life that gives you joy and to make time for it. We discuss the foods for health - we’ve both added flax seed and omega threes to our diet plus Sarah is planning to add CoQ10. We discuss how often to check in with ourselves about our plans and goals. Annually on one’s birthday is a great time to do so, but you can add in the equinoxes and solstices as well. Mammograms are discussed, as they are in the book, along with breast self-exams. We advocate touching your breasts. In private.

End of the season review and a look ahead to Season 2. Season 1 was June 17 through November 2017 BIG END OF THE SEASON REVEAL: SARAH IS STILL NOT IN MENOPAUSE AT 55! Julia has failed at the reducing coffee and wine. Butter luck next year! Looking ahead to how to best be healthy and survive the holidays and the new jobs to come. Taking care of ourselves in this phase of life - So important to put ourselves first. Season 2 concept - How to put ourselves first. Looking ahead to Season 2 – Guests and more reading/bible study Good Menopause to you!  

The first episode with 2 mics! Yay for us! Catch-up: Sarah’s eldest son has been delivered to college. It’s been a transition from knowing everything about his every move as a tiny child to knowing almost nothing about his life now. Julia has been adjusting to her daughter going to Kindergarten and not knowing everything about her day-to-day life. Bible Study - Chapter 14 - Living with Heart, Passion & Joy - Sarah has had palpitations and she still has them, sometimes. The Chapter talks about how women and men are treated differently when seeing the doctor. Sarah talks about her experience seeing a doctor when she had her episode in the Spring. But she feels she would like to go in for a follow-up after having changed her diet somewhat, and to see whether any other treatment options are available. Julia was struck by this statistic in the book: “1 in 2 women will eventually die of some kind of heart disease - either a heart attack or a stroke. In contrast, 1 woman in 25 will die of breast cancer, and yet women are more pointed to breast cancer as a huge cause of death.” Seriously big difference. Chapter talks about “what is your heart telling you?” Do you come from a long line of stoic women? What is your heart telling you, emotionally? Express your feelings! You can intellectualize all you want, but your heart will physically tell you when things are bad. It’s very obvious to Sarah that this Spring when she had her heart incident, she was under stress on a work project, her son was deciding where to go to college, they were figuring out how to pay for it, and it was all happening at the same time. Makes sense! Julia wonders whether Sarah has changed how she approaches her feelings… Sarah talks again about adding exercise as a stress reliever. Sarah was struck by the notion of living your life the way you really want to. There’s a line in the book about “Making a seamless connection between what we say we believe and how we actually live our day-to-day lives.” It’s something Julia has tried to live by. She has a job she doesn’t love, but that is helping her achieve her long-term goals - and yet it’s really challenging to get through the day-to-day sometimes. It’s always about evaluating and being very clear about the reasons you do something and the payoff you get. And the chapter talks about the value of having some JOY in your work or your life. And the threat of sudden cardiac arrest is real. LIFE is SHORT, people! We talk again about the book telling us to eat right and exercise. And how we’re doing on all that. We want to have our levels checked and know our homocystene levels - do you know what yours is??? There’s a great quote from Gloria Steinem “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” How Hot Was Your Flash? No flashes for the ladies this week.

The ladies had good night’s sleep and it makes all the difference. They are both in a good place! Julia’s not happy with the fact that she’s been coming home from work too late to see her daughter before bedtime, but hopefully that won’t last. Sarah’s college son has now started classes and has touched base via Facetime. She had a nightmare that her son had been stolen from her by aliens - literally snatched from her arms - so that’s a clue to her state of mind over her son leaving home… Julia’s looking at the college packing lists for fun, even though her daughter has just started Kindergarten. Julia recounts a memory of moving in to her dorm at LMU - and the Italy’s Little Kitchen, where Julia worked as a hostess for 2 years in college. They had a smoking section back then and she got a 30% discount on pizza - score! Sarah talks about what it cost when she went to college $40K for 4 years at a private school, which now costs about $70K per year now! UGH Julia’s hoping that she’s done with menopause by the time her kid is ready for college. The ladies wonder when how long their menopauses will last? Sarah’s back on her period - and it was a big shock - and she’s annoyed that she’s had to stock up on tampons and pads! Expensive and they are taxed - how is that fair???? Bible Study: Chapter 6 Foods and Supplements to Support the Change Julia has started taking the Fish Oil for her Omega 3s and got her husband to read the chapter on heart health and statins specifically and it has made him want to talk more with his doctor. Julia also started taking Calcium/Magnesium/Vitamin D supplements and EmergenC to get vitamin C and B12s, but no Coenzyme Q10 yet. Sarah found hers at Costco. Better price! Sarah feels it would be helpful to find an herbalist who could help her navigate all the supplements that Dr. Northrup recommends and find out what would be best for her body. Makes Julia want to go back to her Gyno - and get some questions answered. She feels the chapter empowered her to do that. The chapter being about food, Julia focused on soy snacks. Edamame and soy milk have appealed to Sarah, Julia has wanted to try roasted soy nuts. Sarah wondered about an herb Dr. Northrup mentioned called Joyful Change. The name alone is good! And may be helpful for hot flashes, so it deserves some exploration. Sarah needs to schedule her cardiologist follow-up… Flax seed - Dr. Northrup talks about buying Golden Flax grown in a special region in the Northern Dakotas to give it more Omega 3s - but we say, um that makes it harder to achieve the goal of at least getting some damn flax in our diets at all - so hey, what if we just get the kind we can buy at our local grocery store and call it a day? Julia noticed that Dr. Northrup talked about Yin and Yang, and traditional Chinese medicine, and imbalance, and in the book she talks about how “excess heat” which is too much Yang, leads to hot flashes and dryness of the skin, eyes, hair and vagina - and Julia said her eyes have been very, very dry ever since having a baby. She uses eye drops often, but she feels it has been getting worse. Other things that can add to excess yang include hot beverages, like coffee (one of our favorite things) and spicy foods, which we found fascinating. We bemoaned the often-repeated prohibitions against drinking alcohol, eating fried foods, etc. found in the book. Sarah has slowed down on wine, but has found giving up on coffee has been much harder. Julia suggests adding decaf, but Sarah thinks this is a bad idea, especially for her husband… Sarah wonders whether there is an equivalent physical change at midlife for men? Sarah tells the story of a nice older lady in the neighborhood who likes to talk and needed someone to listen to her. She talked about online dating for the elderly - and explained how all the men want is sex. According to this nice old lady, if the men say they want to be very romantic, that means they want a lot of sex. Again, according to the nice old lady, all the men say they can do “everything”, because they have Viagra, but in reality they can’t do much.  One of her neighbors - a nice old man - told this nice old lady that he wanted to cuddle. When she asked - what do you mean by “cuddle?” He said - “I want to touch your body,” but she declined. So he offered another lady down the street $45 to cuddle with him instead. Julia’s glad to hear that sex is still out there for the future. And they realize that there will always be a reason to stay fit. Plus we crack ourselves up thinking about a Peyton Place happening in a retirement home! So apparently after menopause, there will be lots of sex in our future. And we continue to laugh as we imagine a sci-fi story with characters named “Coenzyme Q 10”, “Paraguard T380A” and a villain named “Omega Three”. How Hot Was Your Flash? Sarah had none this week and slept well except for the nightmare about her son being stolen by aliens. Julia had two - she thinks - but because they’re so rare, she’s not 100% sure. Hers are very low-key; no sweat involved. We feel the book gives great advice about making these changes - just start with one thing at a time. Julia, by the way, can do a plank for 1 minute!

Angry Podcast today since we had to reconfigure Garage Band again! Ugh! Should we take the need to reconfigure our tech settings as a metaphor for the reconfiguring of our lives??? Um, we’d rather not. How Hot Was Your Flash? Julia had several hot flashes this week and realized it was because she had not changed her hormone patch when she was supposed to, but once she changed it, she seemed to get back on track. Julia’s considering a job possibly in another country, possibly temporarily. A lot to think about. Sarah had a terrible time at a community meeting this past week. It was way worse than she thought it was going to be. But what came out of it was that she found total clarity about not continuing her volunteer work with that group. It was that bad. And she couldn’t be happier. All our kids seem to be fine. Julia had a milestone: she went to her first Chuck E. Cheese kids’ birthday party - and she survived. And has anyone else noticed that it’s a lot like Vegas??? One benefit of having a Kindergartner is being asked to try to do a cartwheel, which she found she needs more practice. And we now have a new standard of fitness: Cartwheel ready. Bible Study: Chapter 8 from Wisdom of Menopause - Creating Pelvic Health and Power The ladies felt it was somewhat hard to relate to this chapter, as it dealt with fibroids and heavy bleeding, things that have not been issues for them. But it also dealt with the issue of boundaries and the notion of individuation, like when little kids are growing up. Dr. Northrup brings up how women have the Responsibility Gene - and Julia tells a story about Hillary Clinton and how she prepared when she was running for President that illustrates how deep the gene goes in many women. Sarah talks about the notion of the pelvic region being a center of creativity and power. We feel like we’ve been able to have creative outlets in our lives. But we reflect on how little has changed in our society with respect to the balance of power between men and women. Weird things like a guy friend saying he got a “hall pass” to come out and see friends. What is that about? The part of the chapter Sarah felt she could relate to the most was the discussion of the pelvic floor muscles and the need to keep them strengthened. She learned that Kegel exercises were named after a Dr. Kegel, who by the way was at USC Keck School of medicine. Sarah tells about seeing a woman who did a hilarious storyteller performance talking about her “floor man” - she had pelvic floor surgery - and she was very, very funny. But of course you have to strengthen all the muscles around the pelvis, like sacrum and gluteous maximus. Julia has learned to deal with urinary tract infections, something also mentioned in the chapter, and she keeps cranberry pills on hand. The ladies discuss leakage, i.e., bladder incontinence post-pregnancy. Julia feels she has a bit, and Sarah mentions that you can’t jump on a trampoline after having been pregnant - your bladder just can’t take it. Sarah’s dealt with it for years, even before pregnancy. Sarah was fascinated with all the products you can buy to help with leakage that AREN’T diapers, and they freak out over the fact that you can apparently get Botox in your urethra! To stop leakage of course. Cray Cray! The ladies have always been Tampax people. No OB or Diva Cups for us.  Extra Hot Flash Check-in: Sarah had a hot flash, which was not fun, but her heart palpitations have lessened. She thinks it’s probably due to the diet changes she’s made. YAY!

Chattin’ about the Change! It has been a challenge to learn how to podcast and new ways to Google things! Julia’s been finishing up the movie project she’s been working on and remarks upon the young people she’s working with and the things they DON’T UNDERSTAND because of the age difference. We talk about the radio we used to listen to back in the 70s on Maui. We talk about the rate of change in the past 20 years. Like when Sarah’s kids were born (1999 and 2003) she still took photos on film and had to have them printed to share. It was so different from having the luxury of digital photography and being able to take dozens of shots to get a good one and then just delete the bad ones. Sarah resigned from her volunteer position this week, and while some people are disappointed in her, she ceases to have any fucks to give anymore. We talk about seeing the movie Fried Green Tomatoes, since Kathy Bates’ character has the classic line: “I’m older and I have more insurance!” It’s Fall in LA, but that doesn’t mean it will be cold. And hey - are you the Pumpkin Spice type or not?? Bible Study: Chapter 9 - Sex in Menopause: Myths and Reality (the Sex Chapter!) from Dr. Christiane Northrup’s book The Wisdom of Menopause. While we would not say we are prudes, we are also not really exhibitionists, either, so we have been a bit reticent to talk about our sex lives. It does seem that people in their 60s, 70s etc. can be sexually active, which is good to know. Since we are both married, we discuss how there can be routines and unspoken rules in a marriage, but during menopause, as women are changing or evolving - as we know that we are - that has to affect the relationship, even if our partners haven’t changed. And then add in kids to a marriage and it has to alter your sex life. Julia says Menopause + Kids at home = Sex Life Challenging. Sarah brings up all the things you can do or try - but it really comes down to what you want to do and how badly you want to do it. Julia brings up balance - that if things in your life are out of balance, then your relationship will be affected for sure. Dr. Northrup says in the chapter that sexual energy is also like Lust for Life, which we love the sound of. We were fans of Dr. Phil back in the day, and the opening for his show included a clip of him telling someone “I want you to get excited about your life,” which Sarah still thinks about and wants that for her kids - and for herself, her husband, friends. Everyone should have that! Julia has been married for 16 years and she’s noticed that they had a “routine” for sex when they were dating and then married, before kids, and then when they had their daughter, of course it meant change, but okay - you adjust and adapt - but the times you can have sex are limited because of the kids - and then life happens and work hours are long and things get very complicated - so routines have to adapt again. And dealing with the day to day life is not only tiring but less sexy, so it becomes more of a job to make sex happen. We recall Dr. Phil talking about how sex and foreplay work in a marriage with kids - that’s it’s very different and you have to learn to deal with it. And there was a sex therapist who was on Oprah who contended that women and men get to intimacy levels differently: women want the cuddling and preparation and the build-up, while men need the physical act first in order to get to that place of being able to give us what we want. At the time, Sarah felt like this was a load of horse shit, but gave it a try. She had sex with her husband one night and the next morning he woke up and did a household task for her that made her day a little easier, especially with little kids at home - something that meant a lot to her and that she felt he did as a gesture to her after they had made love - because he felt closer to her at that point. Sarah was astonished and happy to know she was wrong. Sarah also shared a story about how to get over a dry patch with your spouse: have sex every night for a week in order to get to know each other’s bodies again. But of course sex after you and your partner have kids is totally different. Not like when you first met a sexual partner and you had all day to lounge around and have sex. Sarah tells the story of how the Mirena IUD was marketed to Moms as a way to have sex safely and at a moment’s notice - because as a Mom, that’s all the time you’re going to have. Julia talks about the IUD she had, called the Paraguard T380-A, which we decided sounded like a weapon - and we guess it kind of is. The chapter has a list of ways to rebuild intimacy and get to know your partner again: 10 Steps to Rekindling Libido - and Julia quoted one of them: “ #3 Intimacy - Take time to make the personal connection. There is nothing more conducive to a good sex life than the ability to share one’s thoughts and feelings with one’s partner on a regular basis. ** One of the really nice things about midlife is that we often have more time to spend with our partners than ever before.”** Julia was struck by how little that applies to her life right now because she has a 5 year old. And obviously not for everyone. Sarah loved the story in the chapter about the woman who had been diagnosed with a disease, but who had also just met someone - and the affair helped change her outlook on life and helped her heal. Sarah tells about when Dr. Northrup was on Oprah years ago and talked about how midlife women may find sex unappealing with their partners and may look to have an affair. She said that women reported improved sex lives with new partners but that she felt WE should become that new partner, not go out and have an affair. That we should do our evolving and bring that newness to our current relationship. It’s a challenge, though. Julia has been working on her big life plans - and asking the big questions - like where we will we live, what do we want to do with our lives - and for the first time wondered “Do I want to die in this house?” She feels like she hasn’t been in this place before and that so many of these kind of things are coming up for her. And for many of us in midlife. Ties into so many issues around aging and where do we want to end up? Time to do research! Issues come up with Julia’s Mom, who’s 75 and in great shape, but at some point they may need to live nearby each other and what would that look like? And wondering how did we get here - and what can I still make happen in my life at this stage? Sarah feels like a couple of years ago she may have been feeling trapped by her life and didn’t have a great lust for life or great feeling of what might be coming in her future, but feels in a much better place now. The college application year was very stressful for her family and maybe now that it’s done it’s been a release, plus since her son is in college, she can see her empty nest coming - maybe that has been a catalyst for change? Not sure… Julia talks about the toddler years and how daunting they can be. She is not really a sit-on-the-floor-and-play-for-an-hour kind of a mom. She’s more of a Let’s-go-do-something-mom. Sarah loves toddlers, but of course, from afar. But it all relates to sex because of course that’s how we get the kids in the first place. The chapter talks about Viagra (for men) and the issues relating to being connected to your heart and maybe not needing it so much, and masturbation (for everyone) plus we bring up romance novels and erotic fiction, aka “cliterature.” Of course some women need help with vaginal dryness and there are great lubes out there. So we feel the Lust for Life is the best takeaway. Modern Menopause issue: where to store the lube or sex toys that the kids can’t find. We wish each other good luck! How Hot was Your Flash: Sarah had none and Julia had a few warm ones, but otherwise -- all good.

Sarah feels it’s a real time of reckoning for her. She feels real clarity about things in her life that she needs to do more of or less of - and she’s ready to get on with it. Julia had a similar thing happen at work - a reckoning. It’s been a busy time for both of them. Podcast empire, anyone? Bible Study - Chapter 1 - Menopause Puts Your Life Under a Microscope - from the Wisdom of Menopause - we felt we got more out of the chapter by reading it at the end than having started with it at the beginning of the podcast. Sarah loved this quote: “The vision-obscuring veil created by the hormones of reproduction” that’s apparently what happens to you when you start your period. Funny concept! Dr. Northrup talks about how her marriage broke up during menopause because she kind of “woke up” when the veil came down. But she takes responsibility for it happening and doesn’t blame her husband (very much) - and we notice how it always comes back to US - to each of us - just like diet and exercise - to choose our lives and be in charge of our lives. It’s so much work to raise children, and we get so caught up in it, and then we wake up once it’s done and wonder - what about me? Because even in 2017, women still do most of the work of child-rearing, whether they work outside the home or not. Men as primary caregivers is a rarity. When it came time to decide about having a baby, Julia had to weigh whether she was willing to put her personal, creative goals on hold for a while. It was serious. Dr. Northrup tells a story in the chapter about when she was making strides in her personal career and asked her husband to help more around the house and with the kids, and he said No. It was part of her realization that her marriage was ending. Again, the two steps of the lesson are “being willing to take responsibility for the problems in our lives, but being willing to feel the pain and loss - and grieve for those parts of our lives that we are leaving behind.” And there’s a fascinating thing in the chapter about marrying our Mothers - and we both have done it! Crazy. And the chapter talks about how a marriage must adapt at midlife. Til Death Do Us Part made more sense years ago when people didn’t live as long, so it was easier to achieve! Dr. Northrup went through a period when she had a fibroid the size of a soccer ball in her uterus - wow! We feel quite lucky that we’ve not gone through that. And a reminder to not assume you know what people are going through just from the surface. Another great quote from the book, after Dr. Northrup was divorced and she found she wasn’t being invited to as many gatherings as before “I was becoming the kind of woman I’d always heard no one wants to invite anywhere lest she steal another woman’s husband. A woman alone at midlife: unclaimed, unwanted, and dangerous to the status quo.” Crazy! Plus we feel an empowered woman always makes people uncomfortable and they feel disempowered themselves, so they resent a powerful person simply because they don’t have it. Another great quote from the chapter is “I have learned that letting go is a process, not an event.” How Hot Was Your Flash - Fall in LA means it’s cool in the mornings and then hot in the afternoons, usually. Before it gets actually chilly. Julia felt actually cold this week. Wow. Sarah has seen a huge decrease in flashes since changing her diet - adding the supplements and adding more kale. So that’s good.

Julia was very emotional this past week, and she did in fact forget to change her patch one day this week, and the two may be related. Sarah went to an event about women’s health, with a cardiologist and a brain scientist - and they were asked about hormone replacement therapy effects on brain and heart. Turns out affects are much lower/smaller with patch or topicals than with ingestibles. We know from reading this book, but it’s still news to people that heart disease is the main killer of women, more than all cancers combined. They talked about how heart attacks show up differently in men and women - it manifests very differently. And that they’ve spent so much time studying men and their heart health issues, not as much time on women. And Omega-3 is really good for women. Eat fish! Plus reduce sugar - it’s really bad for the brain. For Julia’s work she must sit in a recliner chair in a dark room, which she calls a high-class problem, but she doesn’t get a chance to work out routinely. But she realizes she needs to make better choices in terms of diet and bring in exercise when she can. Not everyone likes kale, but hey, more for Sarah. Julia has had trouble with taking the calcium/magnesium/vitamin D pills - they can affect the digestive tract. Bear that in mind. Sarah asked her physician about hormone replacement therapy and whether it was appropriate for her. The Dr. said that HRT is prescribed when someone is not feeling WELL, and that Sarah seemed to her Doctor to be doing well. (And Sarah feels she is, too.) So for Sarah it’s more about a few symptoms - the heart palpitations and having her period again. Not about the out of balance feeling that led Julia to seek HRT in the first place. The Murderous Rage. Bible Study - Chapter 3 - Coming Home to Yourself, from Dependence to Healthy Autonomy Sarah felt like the chapter spoke to her - there’s a whole different dynamic in her household with her son away at college. Some sadness, but it’s not all bad. Sarah went through a lot of changes when she became a Mom. She was pregnant, got married and stopped working all at the same time. Her husband was the sole provider and she lost a sense of herself.  It rocked her world and she didn’t like it. She got to a place where she didn’t take care of herself at all and felt it would have been selfish to even eat well or set boundaries. Finally she had an awakening and realized that made no sense. It took years to really learn how, but she started taking care of herself and not feeling bad about it. And setting good boundaries. She sees people doing this over and over and over again and she wishes she could tell them to stop! It’s not worth it! Julia talks about being a boss and making sure her team members know what boundaries she has for them and the metrics by which their work can be judged. Clarity. And a great boss! The chapter talks again about the disparity between men and women when it comes to wage earning and housework - and all the things that would fit under that definition. So many things! Julia felt many of things in the chapter didn’t apply to her, as an older mom of a younger child. Plus she had the ability to keep working once she had her daughter, so she didn’t have those personal definition changes happen in her life the same way it happened to Sarah. Julia was financially independent before meeting her husband - bought her home by herself, etc. For Sarah it was different. While she earned a living and could pay rent, it took a while to really achieve financial maturity. One of the necessary steps is being willing to take an unflinching look at your money and how you spend it - and it can be really hard to do. Plus - do you know where everything is - like the insurance papers, deeds, etc… It makes us both want to do inventory and clean out clutter in our offices and homes. Sarah admits she has tons of photos of her kids sitting around, not getting themselves into albums and she has decided to get them done! Then the ladies chat about the differences between the digital photo reality we live in now and the analog, printed photographs world we used to live in. Julia even started a blog in 2006 to show off her photos of her working trip to Mexico because it was so much easier than emailing scanned photos to people she knew. And, as a bonus, it was what inspired Sarah to begin blogging! And now Sarah can teach Julia about SEO… Julia wonders what finances and independence is like for Millennial women - and in the future for her daughter - what generational differences will there be? And the ladies discuss the divide between moms who work outside the home and those who stay home (and may not work). Sarah met a woman this week whose first question to her was “Do you work?” It was such a strange thing! How Hot Was Your Flash? Sarah had none this week, even after a big cheat day. No hot flashes for Julia, either. Yay!

“Too old for snapchat, too young for life alert.” Welcome to Season Two! Recap of the Season One shocker ending, but wait - is Sarah actually in Menopause now?? Let's find out! Preview of the new season - we’re having guests! And we picked a new bible - The Silent Passage by Gail Sheehy. Do some chit chat to catch up - Julia is feeling good, still on HRT, no hot flashes. Since it was recorded in February 2018, we talked about new year goals and goal-setting. Weight loss is always on our lists, and we commiserate about our tall, thin husbands who do not have weight issues and can eat ANYTHING. Sarah mentions that she has had a baby tooth until she was past 50, something Julia didn’t know, which proves that we can often imagine that our physical flaws loom larger to others - and in reality others don’t even notice. More chit chat about food - does everything really taste like chicken? Acknowledge that we have kids at home - which makes our menopause different than our any generation before.

Episode 2: First guest! Jenette Goldstein  We introduce her and she tells her story of starting as an actress with Jim Cameron on Aliens in London. We ask the big important question - when is menopause actually OVER? She’s 58, btw. She tells us about her Bra store empire - Jenette Bras and her husband who came up with the tagline - The Alphabet Starts at D - the man behind the rack. Let’s talk about Boobs and Bras - a good bra should last 2 years, and you should always have 3 at a time. She also sells bathing suits. Julia tells about getting a bikini and feeling good about wearing it. HRT can make you puffy in the boob area. There’s breast tissue that’s dense vs. fatty. Julia talks about starting HRT and why: Murderous Rage. Jenette didn’t have a very tough menopause - symptoms were annoying but not bad enough to see a doctor, but she did get a little of the fuzzy brain thing. She hated it. Joke “Why does it take 27 menopausal women to screw in a light bulb? It JUST DOES, ok??????” She feels like she has low tolerance for idiocy - short fuse, but has always had a short temper.  “Yelling and Yanking: Jennette’s guide to parenting” her idea for a fun book. “All Joy and No Fun” real title of a book about parenting that Julia read. Curious about what life will be like when menopause is DONE - and how will we know? She’s been planning her empty nest but now one of her kids has moved back. Plus she sees them each weekend for laundry.  She started her business when her youngest started middle school - has all respect for women who run businesses and have young kids. Jenette had a live-in nanny for her kids who, when she thinks back on it, must have been going through menopause. Every mother needs help! Plus she mentioned working with charity Glamour Gals (and suit up) - Hourglass Underground non-profit for prom season. Giving away bras for girls going to proms. Thank you Jenette!

“Good Menopuase to You!” “45 is the old age of youth and 50 is the youth of old age.” We announce that we’re on iHeart Radio & TuneIn ((((Sarah’s audio is low)))) Sarah’s in the midst of a busy time, as is Julia, who’s about to leave the country for several months of work. We introduce the new Bible - Menopause the Silent Passage by Gail Sheehy - author of several other Passages books, she chose to write this books as she herself went through menopause. The book was published about 25 years ago and we acknowledge the difference between now and then and how she talks about things. She’s not a doctor, so it’s more just telling people’s stories. Big thing is how no one talked about menopause. She notes that a couple of generations ago, women’s life expectancy was like 48, and at that point we would have had 8 children, and then we’d have been DONE. But this generation has held off on childbirth, and have taken birth control, and we’re generally living longer - but maybe human biology isn’t ready for us to live this long. Interesting concept! Plus there was a time when women just gave up at menopause age. They faded into invisibility or became shrill witches “Viragos”. But now we have “2nd Adulthood” -- Looking ahead to another 40ish years  of living for us.  The need to know and the fear of knowing. It’s part of normal life. Staggering Statistic: more than 37 women out of 100 have had a hysterectomy. Julia wonders why anyone would have an elective hysterectomy. And we love the Hollywood connection in the book! Quote we loved from an entrepreneur woman in the book who had a 5 year old at home - “Now, at the peak of her productivity, she was feeling violated by this reassertion of her body’s biologic identity. There’s nothing efficient about the menopause thing.” We feel like we live separate from our body, maybe?  Sarah wonders about stress level and how does it contribute to menopause symptoms. And we all want the guarantees - if we do all the things, can we avoid menopause? We acknowledge that we still feel 27 inside, but we’re not - and that’s part of the tough pill to swallow. We are not having the Silent Passage - we’re having the podcast passage. Ah, the age-old question - is there a menopause for men? Yes, but she doesn’t delve into it the book. We agree we’re excited to read the rest of the book. How Hot Was Your Flash??? Neither of us have had any. Yay! Julia mentions frozen cherries! The best treat! Plus we talk about how we’ve been eating well, sleeping better, and taking better care of ourselves. Our fave quotes this week - Julia: “Discipline is choosing between what you want NOW and what you want MOST.” Sarah: “A Goal without a Plan is just a Wish.”

Julia continues to prep for London. Sarah has a new tip: moisturize more. Just more. Bible Study: The Silent Passage and how we’re not being Silent about it. Chapter: Menopause in the Workplace. Most people we know are working, whether in corporate world or not. Noting how difficult it is to work and concentrate without sleeping. Julia works with mostly men, so of course menopause is not discussed with them. It’s the conundrum of needing to ask for accommodations in the workplace, but also not wanting to appear less-than capable. We commiserate about how it’s STILL assumed that women are the primary caregivers for children and not men. The notion of hiring an older person - they tend to be calmer and better workers, but then there’s still agism. Male menopause - more discussion. Sarah wishes she were in menopause - she absolutely despises having her period. Sick of it! Older mom syndrome - may keep you having your period longer - and also may help you live longer. Sarah wants to go over the estrogen issue again - what is it about estrogen that’s both good and bad? Today’s murderous rage was yesterday’s nervous breakdown. “Meno-rages” “Everyone’s menopause is different”. “We are not medical professionals” Estrogen makes a women’s blood vessels more elastic - which is necessary because of the pressure that the fetus puts on the mother’s blood pressure. Interesting idea that stress can affect one’s menopause. “Malaise” is a word we like to say over and over. You have to be such a strong advocate for yourself - you have to work pretty hard at it. Estrogen can help women get better sleep, and once women sleep better, they don’t need a psychiatrist or a divorce. Sleep is SOOO important. Then we look at the state of contentment and whether women are happier once they are done with menopause. The sense of Well-being that we hope for. Women who’ve had a hysterectomy tend to have depression. The change of life lover: your love life can either spike or die. We do feel that some men completely write us off because of our age, which does sting a bit. Are Men necessary? Do women need men? Are older women becoming Lesbians? Are they Meno-curious? Testosterone. We talk about the importance of sex and being sexual. And you can enhance things with lube and sex toys without having to get a prescription. Interesting notion that our men may not want to acknowledge our menopause because it not only means we’re getting older, it means they are also getting older. No Hot Flashes for either of us this week.

We have a guest! Betty Goldberg. We discuss the coincidence that Sarah and Betty were both Script Supervisors in the movie and TV shows. Small world! Betty worked on movies like Beverly Hills Cop and TV shows like The White Shadow. Betty became a writer after having a child because she didn’t want to be on a set for 10-14 hours per day. She sold her first script she ever wrote, is still writing, and now teaching, too. She teaches people the craft of Script Supervising. Talking Menopause. “The most Homicidal Time of my life”, Betty calls it. She was either filled with rage of felt overwhelmed by Tenderness. Her emotions were out of control. Her 2nd child was born just before her 46th birthday, and that’s when things changed. She felt patience with her kids, but had none when it came to adults, including her now ex-husband. She says this time lasted about 5-7 years, and she was still menstruating. She started getting night sweats, losing quarts of water at the time. Her Grandmother had a bad time with menopause and ended up taking her own life. Betty notes about how it’s not a topic people could be open about, until pretty recently. Podcast, anyone? Betty’s DR once said “Your menopause is coming along well,” which she thought was a crazy thing. Menopause used to mean putting a woman out to pasture, but she was still man-crazy and wanted to have sexual relationships again. Her DR felt she might have a challenge of making sure her vagina didn’t end up feeling like an emory board. UGH. There was a book called “It’s Time You Knew” about getting your period, but what about menopause? That’s why we’re here! At first she didn’t get hot flashes, just the night sweats, but then she DID get them. Menopause is not a linear process. Betty wonders what Native people did for menopause? And we know people died younger, so menopause was not a thing in the same way. Sarah thinks the Baby Boomers won’t allow it to be so verboten, not to mention the Gen X ers. So many people fear age because it’s the harbinger of death. Betty was told she didn’t “ACT 70”, which she thought is so interesting. Betty’s students are surprised that she told them she has a crush. But she’s here to tell you it’s NOT OVER. We need great post-menopausal role models - and really, we have them. Last Fuckable Day - skit. Julia talks about how men don’t look at her the same way anymore - and it’s a little sad about it. Betty likes a long, rangy guy - wishes she could see Beto O’Rourke naked. Betty was told to use some hormone vaginally to keep her vagina from being emory-board like. She has seen friends turn into thick rectangles during menopause, and she thinks focusing on being fit helps you stay looking like the you you want to see when you look in the mirror. Julia has lost 13 pounds this year so far. Alcohol is so unhelpful on so many levels. Betty is a marijuana smoker and she keeps cut veggies around for when she gets the munchies. Interesting idea about using Marijuana instead of wine, but it will probably still give you the munchies. Betty bemoans how little education people seem to have out there in the world.

Is Frozen Cherries a metaphor? Should we make this podcast a musical? Probably not Sarah sleeping better, taking supplements, less hot flashes, Julia bought flax seed oil to try and vitamin d – her cholesterol is fabulous 2018 goals – weight loss program for Julia Sarah altering her diet as well, adding chia and flax and reducing dairy one step at a time by taking yogurt out (try adding frozen banana and frozen cherries) Bible Study - Estrogen and Brain Power Estrogen may reduce alzheimers – lets hope this still holds true How to save your memory: Anti-oxidents Nutritional supplements Movement learning – need to move your body to create new pathways in your brain, like learning a new dance or dances Socializing is also a big part of keeping your brain healthy. Content learning – also learning new things. Like us learning how to podcast. Feel like you lose your mind during menopause. We have to stand up for ourselves as women in the medical field. Example of woman who’s doctor only took her concerns seriously when her husband said something. Sarah feels like she can’t quite get her brain moving as quickly as she used to.  Hoping it’s just temporary. Julia feels like she has Menopause brain – similar to toddler brain (when her daughter was a 2-3) Can’t recall words as quickly. Why can we remember all the trains in Thomas The Tank Engine but not the more grown up things?? WHY? Maybe it’s the shifting priorities – maybe it’s the shifting amount of things you can actually hold in your brain. Difference in distractions between how we were raised vs. how our mother’s raised us. We’d love to hear comments/thoughts on this. Man-o-pause – is it a thing or just more about More about changes at an older age. Most fearsome thing for men is a slump in sexual drive. Can we make a sweeping generalizing that all men care about is sex? It is equally defining for them as it is for women to stop being able to have children.  “Oh I’m done” feeling. Being self reflective and self knowing is critical to approaching this change – all changes involved in getting older. (Reviewing how much we enjoyed Betty’s conversation last week.) No education about what to expect when you are expecting Menopause. Much like when you are told to start getting mammograms – you should be required to have The Talk about Menopause. JUST START THE CONVERSATION!  Discussion of vaginal reconstruction services. Um what? Going to the GYNO and be surrounded by pregnant women is odd and sometimes really hard when you are mourning the loss of your child bearing years. Wonder how the lack of estrogen affects the lizard brain – does it put it to sleep Your brain shifting is temporary – you will get your snappy brain back! How’s your antioxidant drawer? Mention of Tab and Fresca!  

Technical difficulties! Sarah’s volume is too low. We are learning, ever learning. Stressful week for Julia, but did well not to fall into old habits. Julia has lost 15 pounds!   Sarah has been working on not snacking as much in the afternoon. Plus had 4 work related lunches that were a bit out of control. Chicken waffle Sandwiches anyone? Much talk about our ways of eating less when trying to lose weight. Bible Study - Silent Passage - The Menopause Gateway More medical part of the book. Discussing HRT and Heart disease. Women who are victims of menopause. Julia felt like she was a victim of menopause because it makes her feel her age. Not even thinking you are in menopause or perimenopause at a certain age. We are in denial or not well enough educated! Women are told to take calcium, ideally in your 30’s, to stave off bone density. But not told that seriously or at all when visiting in our 30s. Letting go of worrying about Being Right or Being wrong and what will happen if we are wrong? At our age, we are feeling stronger about our positions at work. Changing our language when we communicate. Not going to worry about offending people anymore. We have experience and know what we are doing. Then discussing calcium - where to get it in your food. Sweet Potato Toast!!!!!! Yams and sweet potato also have estrogen. Meditation - really making a difference in centering and staying calm in stressful situations. Small interruption as Julia’s daughter asks for yogurt! Back to the chapter:  Single most important thing in your menopause is getting good rest! Julia is very grateful that she is an fantastic sleeper. Never had a big issue with falling asleep or getting enough sleep. Arianna Huffington is a big endorser of sleep Some women can get allergies late in life and in menopause. Sarah has started getting asthma lately and it affects her more when exercising. Note about getting a lot more exercise. “Take your WalkMan™ with you.” Self care is crucial for good health. We all need to find whatever makes us feel healthy and rested - massage, exercise, meditation. Also good for heart health - Folic Acid Don’t smoke! Both of us were never interested in smoking. Both our dad’s were heavy smokers. Also, smoking is expensive. Then conversation about how cocktails are expensive - talked about women during the Oprah era who started an investment group and used money the would have spent going out for cocktails on investing instead. SMART! Stop smoking - save money Cut down on animal fat - save money Cut down on trans fats Exercising - weights and 30 minutes brisk walking every day Sarah did an aerobics class inspired by last week’s discussion of movement learning. And felt her brain and body were working equally hard. Bone loss - critical to keep exercising and to take calcium supplements Balance and strength are critical. No hot flashes!

Full disclosure - we are autodidacts in teaching ourselves audio recording. Looking at how to achieve goals in a framework - Sarah. Julia leaving the country in two weeks! Feeling both anxious and separate from all the stress. Going to England - temporary move! Just a few months. And on the way to my job, there is a 24 hour Starbucks. Talking about getting to be a regular at that Starbucks. (Future note- I did get to be a regular!) BIBLE STUDY: Hormone Replacement Therapy - Should I or Shouldn’t I? Talking about the old things that don’t exist anymore - like phone cords! Really thinking about estrogen and as it starts to ebb and flow. It’s a roller coaster. Some people think HRT is not natural, but the estrogen flux is intense. Back a long time ago, women didn’t live as long as we do now, so it wasn’t as big of a deal. It’s also “not natural” to live much beyond menopause. Estrogen can help your heart stay healthy which is a bigger killer of women than cancer. If you have breast cancer risks, estrogen is not a great idea. Speak to your doctor. Estrogen to make you look youthful and sexy looking. Julia is wondering where those side effects went “Estrogen regime” = Julia meant to say “regimen.” !!! Estrogen = “It’s the only hormone people are asked to live without.” If someone is diabetic, we don’t ask them to live without insulin. They would die! Estrogen helps with bone strength - along with weight bearing exercise and good diet. It’s important to educate yourself about what to ask your doctor. And to ask. Also talking about how various socio-economic groups of women might not have access to good medical care, might not have a regular doctor. It’s harder and harder for poorer groups to eat well in food deserts. At the very least be clear on your family history of menopause and other issues as it could effect your hormone replacement therapy options. Learning about your health is hard work. You have to research and seek out the information. It’s work. And we are all busy, especially women who tend to put their own needs at the bottom of the priority list or not near the top. Discussion of the LeisureWorld study - over 8000 white middle or upper class in So Cal. Good info, but doesn’t cover all women’s experience. Always remember that heart disease is the leading killer of women. There is more recent Leisure World study info - LINK TO IT! There are important positive things that estrogen does for your health. MYTH! Menopause causes you to gain wait. NOT TRUE. So disappointed about this. But good to hear that the women in a study who were on HRT were the ones to gain the least amount of weight. Sarah had lost 25 pounds years ago, but has since gained it back. But is working on it. Mainly the key thing in weight loss is to START and find what works for you in terms of exercise. It is very important to do weight bearing exercise. Mention of Trans Fats - the big villain - this was big news 20 years ago. How long you stay on HRT is dependent on a lot of things, so ask your doctor. Find the minimally effective level of HRT for you. The first thing to consider is how long you have left to live. You could be in literal mid-life. Be a partner with your doctor. Be your own advocate. Then take charge of the transition. Don’t be passive in the change. One important question for your OB/GYN - how many women over 40 do you treat in your practice? Any hot flashes? NONE!  

Julia preparing to leave the country! Discussing goals we had set for March and how we did. We discuss comfort eating. Something we are EXPERT at. Talk about eating habits on movie sets. A big part of our lives and careers. Bible Study - Cultural Catchup Emotional reaction to this chapter. The book was written in the late 90’s and the info about how hardly anyone talks menopause and how doctors get very little education on it - half a day is dedicated to the subject. HALF A DAY. Talk about the history of medicine and how it seems like it takes ages to catch up. And how medicine still focuses research on men, not women’s. We need separate studies! We learn that menopausal women are not lucrative for Gynecologists. Disappointing! “Ovarian Failure" is the medical term for menopause. The idea that doctors can often “gaslight” patients. Telling them how they are wrong about whatever they might be feeling in their very own bodies. Frustrating! Class and ethnic difference in medical care for women around our country is disheartening What is a “sugar donut figure”??? Moving on to the sandwich generation, being a parent with kids still at home while now also having to take care of aging parents. Tough place to be when you are going through the change and feel like you might also be coming into your own in your life, starting to put yourself first and then suddenly have to start caring for parents. It can be super stressful financially to look ahead and consider taking care of parents in their later years and/or planning for our retirement. Discussion about robotics in Japan helping with the older generation. There is mention of other cultures and how things shift when women pass through menopause and get older. Women of color tend to be told to discuss hysterectomy as an option in the older years, as opposed to how to move through menopause in great health. Coalescence as a goal. Julia’s still fighting the change….Sarah feels more positive. Next section - People in their 50’s tend to hold on to their youthful image. Julia feels this very much. Trying to let go. Sarah hasn’t let go of coloring her hair. She is quite grey and is not quite ready to let the color go. We know people who have gone natural grey and have been so happy to be done with all that. And “done with all that” meaning not so much about coloring their hair, but more about letting go of worrying how we look. Finding passion in your life. Don’t give up now that you are older and about to retire. We feel like that is not even an option in our lives as we have kids at home for a while! Women don’t give up on sex as they get older! That is a myth! BEST QUOTE from the book: “I wasn’t ready to be 50 until I was 52” We both feel this! Menopause is an in between stage that can be uncomfortable and ugly and a fallow time. Perhaps there is a second adulthood on the other side. Comment about Gail writing about how every 6 weeks she and her husband go for a long weekend away. Something few of us can actually do! Quote that spoke to us “I have the courage to take the next step” you have to make progress in life and be conscious and move ahead into new aspects of life. You can’t be stuck. Good book and even though out of date, still great ideas and things to consider.

Season 2 wrap up. Grateful to our guests Jenette Goldstein and Betty Goldberg. The book we read: The Silent Passage by Gail Sheehy. This is it. This is where are. We are not shy about being in menopause. Happy to talk about it and reflecting on women who are saying they are not ready and it’s a long way off. Julia mentions her reluctance to be in menopause last year, being angry about it because it meant many things negative things in her mind. "I’m old" being the worst. Sarah is still not in menopause and is 56! She is fully ready to be DONE with her period. We have moved into a new phase - we are working on what’s next in our lives. Season 3 plans - what comes next? Now what do we in our lives now at this new place. Now with #MeToo - so many changes in our place in the world. And we have to go for it. Hot Flashes? Julia’s had warm moments. Suddenly very warm moments. Her new accessory is a hand fan that she keeps in her purse in case of sudden warmth. Sarah has had none - but sugar or wine after noon will give her hot flashes in teh middle of the night. So she’s changed her habits that way. Also noticed that not getting enough sleep makes her feel hungover. Do you need more sleep in menopause? We wonder. Talking about books keeping us awake these days. We wax nostalgic about Sue Grafton and her mystery stories. And the “Keep on Truckin’!” images from the 70’s.  

Welcome to the new season! It’s been a minute since you last heard from us, but we’ve been up to a lot! Julia has been in and out of the country - and is back in. Sarah’s turned 56 and is letting her hair go gray, which she has both good and bad days with… Julia has been trying a new dosage of HRT and is hoping to wean herself off, over the next year or so, so is in an experimental stage. Sarah has been feeling generally good, but over-indulged in wine last week and paid the price with a nighttime hot flash. ugh. We talk about how this season is going to be about changes beyond those happening in our bodies. We’re in a process of reinventing ourselves and so we’re going to spend time talking about how all of us can reinvent ourselves in menopause. We introduce the new Bible - and we love it! Menopause Confidential by Dr. Tara Allmen. We read the introduction and chapter 1 - and we are loving how clear and concise the Dr.’s writing is. She talks about estrogen and how important it is to a woman’s body - to all of one's body. She also says that once we’re menopausal, we’re always going to be menopausal; there is no END. So that was a bummer. But we’re adapting.

We chat about the season 2 launch video + that we’re going to have a guest on the podcast coming up. And we mention our MERCH. Check out our Zazzle store. (Go to our website for details.) Bible Study: Menopause Confidential by Dr. Tara Allmen - chapters 2 + 3 Chapter 2 is all about hot flashes - the bane of existence for all women in perimenopause and menopause. According to Dr. Allmen hot flashes are a medical mystery. She talks about the Estrogen Roller Coaster, which is what we’re all going through. Did you know? Women are born with all their eggs, so as you age, your eggs are as old as you are - and the fresher, the better, when it comes to eggs. We laugh about the image of tired ovaries. And the image of “Less zesty eggs.” Night sweats are what Sarah has. Dr. Allmen says Hot flashes are not fatal, but they are annoying - and have negative connotations. If we could normalize these experiences, it would help. Of course, hot flashes can be triggered by all the things we’re not supposed to have/do: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, tobacco. And some women can experience hot flashes and NOT be in peri or menopause. We are not physicians, of course, so please consult your medical professional. Chapter 3 - My Husband thinks I’m Crazy Dr. Allmen talks about the Estrogen Roller Coaster again, and how it makes you feel crazy. There are Estrogen receptors in every part of your body, which is why it’s so important to our well-being, and why it affects us so much when it starts to taper off in perimenopause. Great quote from the chapter: “When those receptors are filled with estrogen, it’s like you are luxuriating in bath oil.” Estrogen, Take Me Away! Roller coaster is supposed to slow down after you’re in full menopause. Sarah wonders how women manage without estrogen? Since HRT is not recommended to be on forever. We discuss the ups and downs of being the sandwich generation. We talk about the challenge of redefining our identity as these changes take place. Key takeaway: you’re (probably) not crazy; it’s probably menopause. We speculate that one reason we don’t hear as much about menopause from our doctors may be that so many women in their 30s are trying to get (and getting pregnant) that the conversations are about fertility and there’s no room for menopause talk. Possible? What do you think. And Sarah is dying to know the correlation between estrogen and gray hair. Why do we get gray hair??? How Hot was your flash? Sarah had a bit too much wine - went beyond 2 glasses - and had a night sweat situation. None for Julia! Yay!

We have a guest! Sandra Tsing Loh, author of “The Madwoman in the Volvo - My Year of Raging Hormones”, among other books, has agreed to come to the home studio and chat with us - and we couldn’t be more thrilled! We are big fans of hers! All of her books, her radio shows - The Loh Down on Science, the Loh Life - we love her work! We discuss the book. Julia could totally relate to what she was going through. We wanted to know about her decision to write a book about her experience with Menopause - since we decided to make a podcast about OUR experience with menopause. She said she felt many people offered advice for menopausal women experiencing bloating and hot flashes and rage to “simply cut out all alcohol, sugar and caffeine.” Like what??? Such terrible advice, since that’s what we NEED right then! She references a quote by Erma Bombeck “I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a 16-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week.” (That’s so you can’t distinguish between a hot flash and an anxiety attack.) She talks about how the weight you may need to lose is the 180 pounds called your husband! It can blow up your marriage, which did happen to her. “The advice for women is always the same: yoga, kale, hydrate, cut out alcohol + sugar + caffeine.” She also talks about the Eastern notion of Kundalini energy rising through our chakras beginning at age 40 - and if any of the energy is blocked at any point, you’re going to have problems at that region. She felt a sense of needing to break free and break some rules. Because there are so many rules for women we “should” be following and it gets overwhelming! She reminds us that menopause isn’t the change, it’s the return to our old selves. She talks about how it opened up for her, and mentions that 46 is the peak time - peak perimenopause and things can really get shaken up. Julia talks about how she had a 1.5 year-old at 46 and that’s when she knew she needed to get some HRT help. We then discuss the whole notion of what comes NEXT? For women is menopause in general and us in particular. And our lack of appropriate role models for menopausal women. We also discuss the nature of marriage and for some people divorce is a perfectly fine option. And her notion that 50s are the fun decade! But also - stop saying “Sorry”! By the way, Sandra has a new book coming out in 2020 - that is a bit of a sequel to the Madwoman in the Volvo. And - Sandra has not had a Hot Flash.  

We do a recap of Julia’s time away in England and quitting the job, since we may have skipped over that in recording. We talked about how Julia really came to Clarity about things there. Sarah thinks many of us are afraid of what the clarity means in terms of consequences, but that deep down we do know what we want. But we’re scared of doing it. Sure, it’s scary to make changes in our lives, but sometimes you just have to do it. We are feeling really good about the clarity, but with changes come some fear. Julia talks about the Venn Diagram of the comfort zone and place where the magic happens - and how they don’t overlap. Jump! And we think it’s so important to listen to our bodies. Sarah says she’s done with passive aggressive nonsense in her life. They note the difference between excitement and fear. They talk about how to make time in your life for the things you want to do most. Sarah decided to use some of her evening TV time to learn something new, to make use of that time instead of JUST watching TV. Even if it was just 1 hour. And we chat about productivity tips, like listening to books on tape while she took a walk, which Julia used to do before PODCASTS existed. Julia did the NaNoWriMo project of writing 50,000 words of a novel during the month of November. She got up early every day to make it happen. She gets a Gold Star! Sarah tells about a friend who goes to the gym and uses her gym time as work time, because they are both important to her. She dictates a blog post while she does her walking, so there are no excuses, no compromises! Impressive! It’s all about choices. Do you want your success or your excuses for not having success? Or Julia’s new favorite quote: at the end of the year, do you want to be exhausted or depressed? And it relates back to Clarity. You have to decide what you want the MOST. Julia admits to hating not being good at something or learning how to do something in front of people. Fascinating! And we note that Clarity changes at different times in our lives.   Bible Study - Menopause Confidential by Dr. Tara Allmen - Chapters 4 + 5 + 6 Chapter 4 - the Fog that comes with menopause “Menofog” - Sarah felt it has been around since pregnancy brain. Good to know that forgetfulness is not the same as early onset Dementia. Sarah felt the issue of not being able to focus, which she talks about in the chapter. Julia’s Dad had alzheimer’s like symptoms, so she does have some small concerns about her own genes. Although it not prescribed for this reason, HRT does seem to help some women have sharper focus and less Menofog. And of course, she has a list of ways to help keep your brain young - and focused - and we know the list well because it’s the same list we’ve heard over and over from all the other bibles: aerobic exercise, get enough rest, don’t drink booze or caffeine, drink lots of water, and eat healthy food. And learning new skills! (like podcasting) We really like coffee and it’s the hardest thing for us to give up. Chapter 5 - No rest for the Weary - the importance of sleep! Being sleep-deprived leads to eating more carbs for quick energy, being crabby and less focused, and is associated with heart disease and depression. Of course there are great tips for getting good sleep in the chapter. Just to scare you a bit more - apparently a lack of sleep can even lead to Sudden Cardiac Death! Very bad. Chapter 6 - the Vagina Chapter - Use it or Lose it! Masturbation or orgasm in any way you get it. It’s very good for you!! And we learned about vaginal moisturizers - who knew?? And Olive oil and Vitamin E are approved ones. Sarah and Julia have never done it - have you??? Vibrators are options! They used to call them Marital Aids. And Moisturizers are not to be confused with Lubricants. Dr. Allmen calls it homework! How Hot Was Your Flash? No flashes for Julia and Sarah this week! But Sarah has been feeling the Estrogen roller coaster ups and down and was weepy at the drop of a hat. And Julia checked - it’s been 2.5 years since she had her last period. Sarah unfortunately had hers last week! UGH.

We start the episode chatting about our Clarity and how it feels. It feels GOOD. Julia feels good about where she is, where she wants to go. “Clarity on the NO.” We coined a new phrase! Sarah feels clear about a few things she does NOT want to do - and what she wants to focus on. We are looking ahead to 2019 and our Menopodcast Empire - or Menopyre, if you will. We’re planning to use the 12-week Year to achieve our goals - check out the book. It’s a super-detailed system for how to get things done. We quote Dr. Phil: What’s the story you’re going to tell yourself when you don’t achieve this thing? Bible Study: Chapters 7, 8, & 9 Menopause Confidential by Dr. Tara Allmen - you can buy it - we love this book! Chapter 7 of the book is called “What’s the Skinny on Weight Gain?” According to the book, it’s about aging, not about menopause. Boom. It’s about our metabolism has slowed down. The Dr. wants us to talk about gaining better health, and not losing weight. Sarah wishes she could lose weight, but would not care about the Number, if she FELT thin and her clothes fit better. Julia lost 15 pounds in the first part of the year, and has gained back 7. She’s struggling with her food choices. Julia realizes there’s no point wearing clothes that don’t fit - so she got a pair of comfy jeans. We discuss how uncomfortable Spanx are. Sarah announces that she has a goal of running a 5K by the end of Q1. It’s a question of endurance for her. And her flexibility is lacking as well. Fitness goals! According to the book, it’s not rocket science - weight loss is a question of the way you eat, not the way you work out. Note - not all calories are created equal. Dr. Allmen calls it a “pattern of eating” instead of a diet. She mentions Weight Watchers as a method, because it helps teach you a good pattern of eating. She mentions a sad statistic - 52% of the vegetables Americans consume are potatoes and tomatoes, in the form of French fries, potato chips, ketchup and pizza sauce. We reminisce about foods from the 70s, like Banquet Fried Chicken and Swanson Frozen Dinners. Chapter 8 - “To Pee or Not to Pee?” Turns out not everyone who gets old needs to use Depends. Do your Kegels! It’s really important to have a strong Pelvic floor. Not just for the urinary incontinence… There are two types: Stress and Urge. Like laughing or coughing - and getting on a trampoline. But it can be related to a medical problem as well, so get that checked out. And then the Dr. mentions something called a Pessary, which we had never heard of, which is something that can help prevent stress incontinence. It’s kind of like a diaphragm, but it supports your urethra. Plus there are apparently physical therapists who can help with pelvic floor biofeedback - to help you teach yourself to strengthen those muscles. And we mention the dreaded bladder infections. Keep it clean! Chapter 9 - “Who is that Wrinkly Old Woman in the Mirror?” Sarah has sadly looked in the mirror and said that to herself recently. It feels like the wrinkles came on not that long ago and are exponentially multiplying. But both Sarah and Julia are bothered more by the age spots than the wrinkles. Ugh. Growing up in Hawaii, sunblock was when the cloud went overhead. We never used any, so we did damage to our skin years ago. Neither of us like to Tan anymore. Dr. Allmen mentions she has had some Botox. Julia and Sarah would like to get the eye lift probably because the droopy-ness bothers us. Sarah has researched getting her age spots removed, but isn’t interested in getting Botox. Sarah wants the age spots removed from her hands and has seen a new spot on her face. Double ugh. And smoking is very bad for your skin! Julia admits she’s a little judgy about smoking and wishes people would save their $$ and their health by not doing it. And the chapter also mentions how, as we age, our skins heals more slowly from wounds, too. It’s the lack of Estrogen. Hot Flashes? Nope! Yay!

Good Menopause to you! We start out chatting about the weather in Los Angeles, because weather happens so infrequently that it’s remarkable! Julia’s daughter is about to have a birthday, so she recalls her experience in the hospital and how she took advantage of the Nurse’s offer to keep her daughter in the Nursery overnight so she could get sleep. Sarah’s youngest son was a Buddha Baby when he was born, so she was able to keep him with her in the bed and watch tabloid TV while he nursed and slept. And we note that kids love to hear their birth stories! Bible Study - Menopause Confidential by Dr. Tara Allmen - Chapter 10 “Fifty Shades of Gray… Hair” Sarah had been really looking forward to this chapter, but was a little disappointed to not hear more about her gray hair. It turns out it’s not Menopause-related, it’s age-related. Both Julia and Sarah have stopped coloring their hair - and Sarah’s is growing out with a very distinct line of demarcation between gray and color. She’s frustrated with the slow growth and transition. Ugh! Julia’s hair has all grown out and it’s an all-over light brown/dark blonde - she calls it Dishwater or dirty blonde - but she doesn’t have much gray. The Dr. recommends not washing your hair as often and moisturizing it more. Just like our skin. We both talk about our Grandmas and how they used to get a Wash N Set once per week. We fully support that and want to do it, too. We are fascinated to hear about a laser light brush existed or that it *could* help with hair loss! Chapter 11 - “It’s All About the Breast” The Dr. talks about how confusing it can be to talk about Menopause treatments and Breast Cancer. And the changing guidelines about when and how often you should get mammograms. Sarah indeed found it confusing, so please read it carefully yourself - and of course consult your own medical professional to get advice. It has to do with whether early screening can lead to false positives and unnecessary procedures. It used to be - get a baseline mammogram at 35 and then get one every year starting at 40 - then every other year at 50. But now they’re saying that can change to every other year, even in your 40s. Breast Cancer stats: approx. 230,000 American women are diagnosed every year with Breast Cancer, and only 40,000 will die from it. (Compare that to Heart Disease deaths - 400,000!) Oh and by the way, breast self-exams basically do no good, despite the way they used to push it on us. Leading causes of death in women: Heart Disease #1, then Lung Cancer #2, then Breast Cancer #3, then Colon Cancer #4. Chapter 12 - “Hooray for Colonoscopy” Have you had your 50-year-old colonoscopy screening? Both of us had ours at age 50. Sarah wonders if she was supposed to get a 2nd one at age 55? She needs to follow up with her doctor. People traditionally hate the idea of getting a colonoscopy because the prep is gross and no fun. You have to have a very clean colon for the screening to work, which means it has to be Thoroughly Cleaned Out. Often that means drinking a foul-tasting liquid that makes you sit on the toilet most of the night, but Dr. Allmen has a special system that sounds much more pleasant. Julia did a similar prep herself when she had her procedure, which was much better than what Sarah went through. Yay! And even though it’s not the most fun thing you can do, it’s important. Note: tiny technical glitchy weirdness at the end of the episode with some echo. How Hot Was Your Flash? None for us this week! Sorry.

Good Menopause to you! Sarah and Julia talk about their low-tech microphone set up and how they want to upgrade soon! We talk about Julia’s daughter’s birthday party, when Julia hired a terrific balloon guy. He made a Snow White and a Diamond Ring. And Julia’s birthday is coming up - she’s about to turn 52. 52 with a 7-year-old. And Sarah is 56 with a 16 and 19-year old. Sarah talks about how she’s engineered a simpler holiday season for herself. Doing fewer things, and more fun things than obligation things. It also involved Planning. Sarah actually went to the beach over the weekend, which was super fun! During the holidays! Unheard of in her past life. Bible Study - Menopause Confidential by Dr. Tara Allmen - Chapter 13 - “The Latest Rap About the Pap” This is another slightly confusing subject - like the issue of mammograms - because the guidelines have changed regarding Pap Smears. Turns out you may not need to have the screening done every year anymore. It might be every other year or even once every 3 years. Sarah worries this is confusing and that she won’t remember whether this is her pap year or not? Julia thinks Sarah’s doctors should have the records and that she doesn’t need to worry about remembering. Good point. Anyway, check with your own medical professional. And there was some very interesting info about HPV, which is the cause of cervical cancer. Fascinating to read! Also - fascinating factoid: in the early 1900’s Cervical Cancer was the number one killer of American women! But no more. Chapter 14 - “Sticks and Stones Can Break Your Bones” Not such a News Flash, but Menopausal women are at high risk for osteoporosis - woo-hoo aren’t we lucky????? (Not) Why? Because of Estrogen and the lack thereof… Good old estrogen! The bad news is you can’t reverse bone loss or density, but you can maintain what you have as you enter menopause, according to this chapter. We note the dancer/gymnast conundrum that they are so slender and strong, but because they may not menstruate for those years and the lack of estrogen will come back to harm them. Eat your calcium-rich foods, like KALE. And some obvious and possibly silly advice - Don’t Fall. Falling can be a death sentence for some people, because they may never recover. Sarah felt this chapter really made her sit up (straight) and take notice. Chapter 15 - “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” This is all about Heart Health - a staggering number of American women will die every year from heart disease - 400,000! We note that the Dr. puts us all into one of three categories of risk. All of us. Meaning everyone has some level of risk, which is frightening. Either the “Ideal Risk” category, the “At Risk” category, and the “High Risk” category. Being overweight is one of the risk factors, which both Sarah and Julia deal with. Sarah also has high-ish cholesterol. We know we’ll feel better with better fitness, so it’s an important goal for us. We can make changes in some of our risk factors, people! No more excuses! And the Dr. notes the American Heart Association has certain target numbers we need to hit for exercise. As well as the dietary guidelines, of course! Consult your physician regarding the use of aspirin. And regarding the use of Hormone Replacement Therapy for heart disease prevention. It sounds tricky to know whether it would help you or not and you’ll need to have that conversation. And every woman is different. NO HOT FLASHES for us this week.

We commiserate about not having high-tech mic stands, but somehow we record anyway. And that segues us somehow into talking about how we both love to make lists. (And then cross things off!) Julia lets Sarah know about Bullet Journaling, and she says she’s not having it, personally. It’s too much work. All leading to how Julia feels Menopause is an amazing opportunity to take stock of your life. Julia brings up the notion of Commitment vs. Interest. Sarah brings up that when you do take stock, sometimes you’re faced with wanting to make a change about some aspect of your life, but because it might be hard to do, you aren’t willing to do the work, so you stay stagnant - and likely unhappy. Sarah feels sometimes like she wasted time not being as purposeful with her life. Like she feels so excited about life right now, but then feels OLD at the same time. Julia says she sometimes felt similarly about having her daughter later in life, but hey - that’s when she did it. There are some things you can’t change. But Julia is just feeling very excited about this place and time in life. Julia mentions something funny that happened when she tried to do her vagina homework. She was lying in bed thinking that she maybe should do her “homework” (masturbating), but then the next thing she knew she woke up the next morning! LOL Bible Study - Menopause Confidential by Dr. Tara Allmen - Chapter 16 - “Potions, Patches and Pills, Oh My!” This chapter is packed full of info about Hormone Replacement Therapies - so much to learn! Turns out so many studies about medication for Women’s Health is based on studying the effects on MEN. Ridiculous! But we learn the big difference between Peri-menopuase and Menopause: menopause is the cessation of periods for 1 year. AND - she says that IF you are still menstruating, you are technically not a candidate for hormone replacement therapy - which was big news to us! The Dr. also says that peri-menopausal women can be prescribed a low-dose birth control pill (continuous use) that will even out the estrogen. This will prevent you from knowing when you’ve had your last period, but it will help even you out. This is kind of what happened to Sarah, except with an IUD, and so her dr. recommended she stop using it, but whoops - he was wrong and she still has her period. Dr. Allmen calls women Sarah’s age who still have a period “show-offs”. Dr. Allmen talks about how different therapies and “potions” work differently and of course, every woman is different, so her fantastic tip is to try something for 3 months and see how it goes. If you get to 3 months and it isn’t working - try something else. And don’t quit it before 3 months is up. And we both want to find someone who specializes in menopause. We feel women should share info with each other about the best doctors. Factoid: turns out there are 65 million menopausal women in the US - and most are not on HRT. We discuss all the ways HRT can be delivered. Julia chose the Patch. You can be a candidate for HRT up until 10 years past your last menstrual period. AND the Dr. says she doesn’t usually recommend women stop taking HRT, and Julia has been considering tapering off. It’s making her think about it. But there’s some confusion about when it’s too late to be taking HRT. Factoid - progesterone is for your uterus. So if you’ve had a hysterectomy, no need! There’s some complicated info about bio-identical hormone therapy. We feel you’ll need to speak to your own medical pro to sort it all out. And she says this great thing - trust your symptoms and how you feel! The blood work may not bear out what you are feeling, so stick to your guns! Chapter 17 - “I Want to Feel Like a Natural Woman” What we like about Dr. Allmen is she likes facts and studies, and she feels there is not a lot of data proving that “natural” remedies work. But she also says that if something does work for you, no matter what it is, go for it! The chapter goes into more detail about lots of other treatment options. And use her rule of thumb give it the old three-month try! Chapter 18 - Do I Really Have to Lift Weights Too?” And the answer is YES. By the way, weight training doesn’t actually help strengthen bones; rather what it does is build muscle mass around the bones, keeping them safer. Plus you’ll get a side benefit of having better balance, which means fewer falls, which helps keep bones safer, too. Dr. Allmen says the key is to work with light weights, and do a total of 60 minutes per week. Sarah wants to be able to remind herself how good it feels to have finished her workout. So that she can motivate herself to working out. We loved all these chapters - and highly recommend this book! No Hot Flashes for us!  

Good menopause to you! We recorded this episode during the holidays, so we chat about all the hullabaloo that comes with that time of year. Gifts, shipping, cleaning the house for guests, etc. So many things to do!! Julia was reminded that it really is the thought that counts when giving a gift. But Sarah bemoans all the carbs she’s been eating at holiday parties. Ugh! Bible Study - Menopause Confidential by Dr. Tara Allmen - Chapter 19 - “The Top Five Studies That Rocked Women’s Health” We love this book and we want to meet her! We really feel every 40-year old woman should read this book (and the others we’ve read) and hopefully OURS that we plan to write - because there is a lack of information out there about menopause, women need more information about it, and we want to help them get it. Chapter recap: serious amount of science here! The Dr. talks about all these 5 major studies of women’s health - and how we have all heard only bits and bobs about them, never the whole thing. Dr. talks about the different types of studies and how they work and what they can mean. Observational studies do not give you cause and effect, but can offer interesting indications. Randomized Control Trial - the other type of study - and known as the gold standard of scientific info. The Nurse’s study - highlights include vitamin D and calcium are good, plus Kale for the win! Sarah and Julia do love their kale! (Please read the chapter for all the actual details of the rest of the studies.) The Pepi Study, the SWAN study (which studied non-white women in addition to whites), the HERS study, and The Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) are the others mentioned in the chapter. Some of the studies seemed to have clear results, and some seemed less clear, but there seemed to be some similar findings, which of course relate to healthy eating, working out and getting sleep - and the use of hormone therapy. The WHI study is the most notorious, because of an early finding that got reported in an incomplete way in 2002 - and the quote we note from the chapter - the Dr says “Whether you realize it or not, the WHI is the reason so many of you are frightened to start hormone therapy.” There are a lot of details that will be specific to you and your personal health story - and can be complicated. Turns out some people stopped taking hormones after the 2002 reporting, and some of them had bad results. The Dr. explains the risk (of having a bad outcome from HRT) to her healthy patients as basically the same chance of getting a date with George Clooney. “Don’t show up to menopause clueless.” “Midlife presents a unique chance to change your health destiny” - a couple of quotes we love. Chapter 20 - “Every Man Needs a Gynecologist” Funny title, but the point is that we need to get our men to understand what’s happening with our bodies. Sarah actually discussed some of the podcast topics with her husband recently, and it was great because he didn’t realize them - and then he let her know that there have been changes to the protocol for prostate health as well. See? We can learn from each other! Maybe we should all start attending each other’s Dr. appts... Chapter 21 - “Your Story” Just really a wrap-up chapter - make your health your priority, and it tells how she really got the writing done. Dr quote: “Start your journey to health by taking a baby step forward today. Just do one thing and make it a small thing.” Make that thing a habit, and keep it up, adding to it as you go. We have to take care of our bodies, and we can make a change! Excellent book! Thank you Dr. Allmen! And that’s a wrap on Season 3! Clarity about the 2nd half of our lives - what’s important - trying new things - growing our hair out - doing kegels - doing our “homework” - all the things!

We launched Season 4 in a whole new way: going Live on Facebook as well as recording the podcast - at the same time! (We had some technical difficulties - but when has that stopped us? And we think we've worked them out for next time...) This Season we're reading "What Would Virginia Woolf Do?" by Nina Lorez Collins, and we're already loving it - and her! The book can be purchased via our Amazon affiliate link - and if you do, we'll get paid a small commission, so thanks!! In the Introduction, Ms. Collins lets us know why she wrote the book - and started the amazing Facebook group of the same name (which you should totally check out). She was heading into perimenopause and - of course - she couldn't find anyone to talk to or information out there. (We KNOW the feeling!) And right away we felt we could totally relate to her. We are loving this book - and her! Chapter 1 is about Fashion, which is something we've been thinking about a lot lately. Ms. Collins writes about what so many of us have experienced - navigating what to wear that's appropriate for our age, but that doesn't make you feel invisible, or god forbid, dowdy. Sarah wishes she could wear heels, but she's so darn lousy at it, and Julia's happy to wear boots and kitten heels. Sarah's also been struggling to figure out just what to wear - something that makes her feel confident and that looks professional - and fits her personality. She would be very happy wearing jeans and a t-shirt all the time if she felt she looked good in that. Oy. Julia feels comfort is key, and thinks it may stem from growing up in Hawaii with muumuus. We both agree wearing muumuus is something we should do more of. Ms. Collins wraps up the chapter with 2 Terrific lists - Ten Things I Hope Never to Wear and Ten Staples I Hope Will Take Me a Long Way. They are both instructive and cautionary - and they bode well for more great chapters to come. Pick up your copy and join us!  

This chapter is all about SEX and it's so frank an honest and open, it makes us love author Nina Lorez Collins even more that we already did! Her book, What Would Virginia Woolf Do? (affiliate link) is our Bible for Season 4 and she is slated to be a guest on the show coming up! Ms. Collins talks about her own sexual journey from pre-puberty to mature adulthood, and it's full of fascinating stories and anecdotes. We HIGHLY recommend reading it. Sarah and Julia aren't QUITE as frank and open about their own personal stories - some things are better left unsaid (or for another time) - but they both do discuss a bit about their sexuality and how it has changed. They both fully support women becoming more open to feeling sexy and want to encourage everyone to "do their homework". Remember: "Use it or lose it."

This chapter is all about our changing bodies, and it’s another frank and honest bit of writing. Her book, What Would Virginia Woolf Do?(affiliate link) is our Bible for Season 4 and she is slated to be a guest on the show coming up – which we couldn’t be more thrilled about.  Ms. Collins talks about her own nutrition and exercise plans – what’s worked, what hasn’t – and she gave Sarah a real wake-up call about getting her butt in gear and blowing past the excuses to get working out again. She mentions the things we already know – like how eating cleaner and getting more exercise are the keys to being more fit (DUH) – but somehow we periodically forget? Sarah, for one, needed the reminder. So thank you Ms. Collins! We do recommend the book and once you read this chapter, let us know what you think!

We're thrilled to have Nina Lorez Collins as our guest on this episode of the podcast! She's the author of "What Would Virginia Woolf Do? And Other Questions I ask Myself as I Attempt to Age Without Apology." (affiliate link)   We absolutely love this book, as we've mentioned before, and you know we have chosen it as our "Bible" for Season 4. We'd finished 3 chapters by the time we talked to Nina, enough to have fallen for her writing style - hard. We were introduced to Ms. Collins and her book by her wildly successful Facebook group of the same name (as her book). It's an amazing place where women of a certain age can vent, ask questions and discuss topics that are relevant to our lives. Just us. We highly recommend checking it out as well. Ms. Collins told us the story of how the group came to be, how she got her book written in a very short time, and we even talked a bit about the infamous Orgy Tent story in Chapter 2. (Buy the book to find out more!) If you want to know more about Ms. Collins, the community of "Woolfers" she founded, and hear HER podcast, check out the website (www.TheWoolfer.com) - where you can also sign up for her newsletter.  

This week Sarah and Julia read chapter 4 of "What Would Virginia Woolf Do?" by Nina Lorez Collins. And if you haven’t listened to our interview with her we recorded last week, go check that out – she is amazing! Chapter 4 is all about being a parent during menopause or perimenopause, possibly as an empty-nester, semi-empty-nester or with a young child (or children) at home still. We will again point out what a great writer Nina Lorez Collins is, and how much we love this book. Sarah found many things she could relate to, having a kid in college and one in High School, compared to Nina’s kids ages. Sarah has two teenagers, one away in College, and can relate to so many of the things the author talks about, like how weird it is to confront your child’s sexuality, or to go days without hearing from them, and not know about so many things that happen in their lives – as opposed to the way we knew EVERYTHING about their lives when they were babies. Julia’s of course in a different boat, with a 7-year-old at home, and there are other stories like hers in the chapter. We compare the way we parent with the way our Mothers’ generation did – such a different set of standards and societal rules! And as with all the episodes in Season 4, we have live-streamed it on Facebook as well. Take a listen!    

This week Sarah and Julia read chapter 5 of "What Would Virginia Woolf Do?" (Affiliate link) by Nina Lorez Collins. And if you haven’t listened to our interview with her we recorded 2 weeks ago, go check that out – she is amazing! Chapter 5 is entitled Beauty, and it's all about what we see when we look in the mirror - and what we choose to do about it! Sarah and Julia would both describe themselves as Minimalists when it comes to their Beauty Regimens, in fact, they might even scoff at calling what they do a "regimen". But Nina talks about doing quite a bit more for herself, including having used Botox for years. The chapter has a great list of all the treatments one could use to try turning back the clock on an aging face, like Fraxal lasers, Fillers, and microdermabrasion. Sarah has tried a handful of them, Julia not so many. Neither Sarah & Julia have any interest in getting a Facelift, but they would both prefer to not have age spots on the face or hands. In fact, they both agree that the hands are a dead giveaway, even if the face looks good. (Cruel, maybe, but accurate.) The author makes a great point in the chapter about how much our appearance matters to us, even if we aren't willing to go the whole nine yards. We all have a line we won't cross, that we wouldn't go out without, and we fully accept that reality. On the other hand Sarah & Julia make the point that a woman who exudes confidence, attitude, and has something to say is a very attractive person, whether or not she conforms to conventional standards of Beauty.  

This week Sarah and Julia read chapter 6 of “What Would Virginia Woolf Do?” by Nina Lorez Collins – and this chapter is entitled “Emotions”. We are continuing to love this book and Nina’s writing. Seriously – we highly recommend this book! Chapter 6 is all about the emotions we go through as women in midlife and what we can do about them. Because for some of us, acknowledging that we’re having these emotions is already a big step, and then figuring out how and whether to act on them is a whole other thing. Also, the chapter deals with depression, which turns out affects women more than men, and which is a very serious thing, not “just a case of the blues.” There are medical treatments for depression, and that’s something for each person to discuss with their doctor. But the point of the chapter – and we agree wholeheartedly – is that you should feel empowered to do whatever feels right to you in order to feel better. Whether that’s by taking the right medication, prioritizing self-care, eliminating clutter and sparking more joy, setting better boundaries, seeking mindfulness – whatever works for you. Figure out what you need and don’t be afraid to go get it. As Nina's therapist says, "If not now, when?"  

This week Sarah and Julia read chapter 7 of “What Would Virginia Woolf Do?” (Affiliate link) by Nina Lorez Collins – and this chapter is entitled “Health”. The author runs down an entire laundry list of health problems that affect women of a certain age. And while it’s not always super fun to think about these problems, it’s much better to be prepared and take action than to ignore them until they get worse. These are also not all related to or due to menopause. Some are just because we’re getting older. So some good and bad news in that. We’ve discussed many of these health issues on the show in the past, but we’ll spend a little time going over the biggest concerns we have. In case you’re interested, here’s a list of afflictions aging women may encounter: Vaginal dryness Hot flashes Incontinence Insomnia Snoring (afternoon slump)? Brain fog Osteoporosis Osteopenia Cancer Heart disease Eyesight loss Hearing loss High cholesterol High blood pressure Diabetes STDs Arthritis Thyroid problems Gum disease And here are some Health Screenings to consider: Mammogram Colonoscopy Cervical cancer Blood work Eyes an ears Let us know what you think – and what health issues are your biggest concerns.

This week Sarah and Julia read chapter 8 of “What Would Virginia Woolf Do?” by Nina Lorez Collins – and this chapter is entitled “Work and Money”. This chapter is filled with many, many fears about getting older and not having enough money. Sure, we may also worry about health problems, but how much they will cost to care for and where will the money come from? We hear from our friends who feel they can’t let their hair go gray because they have to get work and compete against younger women and men’s perceptions. And just because we’re married doesn't mean we don't worry as well. That means we have two of us to care for as we age! We both feel strongly that we don’t want to have the cost of our care to fall as a burden on our children, so we are strongly motivated to make a bunch of money and set up our Estates well. Sarah sometimes wonders – what if she had chosen a different path? What if, instead of staying home with her kids she had continued working? Certainly her family would be in a different financial position now if she had, but regretting a choice like that isn’t super productive, so she’s trying to move on. It’s important for women to have their finances and end-of-life plans in order, whether you’re married or single, a parent or not, and we want to encourage everyone to get started on that. Start by looking – and not being afraid to do that. Then be able to make changes you want to see happen. Let us know what you think – and whether you feel in charge of your financial life. (We hope so!)

This episode is an interview with Anne Kreamer, author of “Going Gray: What I Learned about Beauty, Sex, Work, Motherhood, Authenticity, and Everything Else that Really Matters" (Affiliate link). And we loved speaking with her! She has a new, mission-driven company called WildAndRare.com and we totally recommend checking it out, too! The book is great because, first of all, Ms. Kreamer is a terrific writer, and secondly, because she really takes the time to look at what gray hair means to us as American Women (as well as a few French women!). Our society has us believing that women with gray hair are too old, not sexy, and over the hill, but of course that's just not true! Yeah! Anne's experience with letting her hair revert to its natural color mirrors some of Sarah's experience, but Sarah is fully committed, even though she's currently experiencing what Anne calls "a Bad Hair Year." Anne gave us some wisdom about clarity and the notion of what really matters, and that for her, the superficial things, like hair color, just really doesn't matter. Not to mention the copious amounts of time and money she (and so many of us) have spent on coloring their hair. In the book, Anne estimated that she spent $65,000 over almost 25 years of coloring her hair. Just think about that! What if you could have all that money back??? And beyond that, what if you could have back the amount of energy and time you spent worrying about what people thought about you and what color your hair is? A lifetime of joy probably exists there! So let it go, people, let it Damn Well GO!

This episode marks the final chapter of “What Would Virginia Woolf Do?” (Affiliate link) by Nina Lorez Collins – and Sarah and Julia are very sad the book is done. It’s such a good read! We love the author’s style and voice – and have appreciated her honesty and willingness to share personal details from the beginning. Highly Recommend. We also want to recommend the Facebook Group of the same name that Nina created even before she wrote the book. It’s a safe place to share and there’s an amazing engagement rate among members. Someone will post a question and within an hour there will be 150 responses! Check it out. Heads up! Our next episode we will be answering your BURNING Questions on the air and live on Facebook. Send us your questions – via email at Menopodcast@gmail.com – or via FB Messenger – or post it right on our Facebook page. Let us know what you think – and if you bought the book. (We hope so!)  

Today was a Q&A from our listeners to end Season 4. Great questions to discuss.  Do all women go through menopause? How long will menopause last and what is this whole menopause thing anyway? Shouldn’t I be afraid of HRT? How do you know if your health issues are menopause-related? Seriously, no wine? Or COFFEE? What supplements do you take? How have you changed your diet? Listen in as we also broadcast live on Facebook and talk about the issues via listener comments. We'll back in a few weeks for Season 5!    

We’re launching a new season and giving you a preview of what’s to come. This time, instead of reading a book for a whole season and discussing a chapter per episode, we’re going to zero in on one of the topics we’ve learned about so far in our journey, and each episode will be a deep dive into that particular subject. We’ll roll up our sleeves and talk about things like: Hot Flashes, Heart Health, Hormone Replacement Therapy, Diet & Fitness, Sex, Reinventing Your Life in Midlife, and many more issues like that, one episode at a time. We’ll synthesize what we’ve read and learned in the previous 4 seasons, plus we’ll interview experts and - hopefully - hear from you, our listeners, as well. Stay tuned for Season 5!

Deep Dive into Hot Flashes! Hot Flashes are like the stereotypical punchline of Menopause, and while they are not life-threatening, they are still very disruptive - and can negatively impact your quality of life. In this episode, we talk about what they are, why they happen to us, and what you can TRY to do about them. We quote from a couple of our favorite books on the subject - and let you know what works for us. As always, consult your own medical professional before trying anything we talk about on the show.

Hormone Replacement Therapy gets a bad rap, but really, you have to do your own research. Turns out it’s really great for some people and not recommended for others. Menopause means your body isn’t making Estrogen anymore, but guess what? Estrogen has been doing good work inside our bodies for years, and when it goes away, big changes are sure to follow. In this episode, we talk about what’s working for us, and why it’s important to find a physician you trust to help you navigate the choices.  

Menopause is an excellent time to take stock of your overall health, especially your heart and brain. Heart Disease is the number one killer of women. That fact made us pay attention! And many of us experience Menofog - or even just a feeling of losing our mental acuity as we get to a certain age. Luckily, the things that help make your heart healthier also help make your brain healthier - so you get a twofer in better health and longevity! Listen to the episode to learn more.

This episode talks about Lady Parts. The parts of a human body you only find on us ladies: the pelvic region, like the uterus, the ovaries, the vagina, the urethra (and yes, we know that men have urethras, too, but they are totally different), the Breasts, and our Sexual function and Sexuality. We’re talking about ways of keeping them healthy as you go through menopause. And YES, we will talk about Sex and Sexuality in this episode, so be warned.

“Use it or lose it” applies to so many parts of our bodies as we age. And midlife/menopause is a great time to take stock and get moving - in whatever way works for you. Dr. Northrup said, “You need to know that vigorous regular exercise is an absolute necessity if you intend to live well beyond midlife.” We talk about all of that PLUS we interview Sarah Glicken, owner of OsteoStrong in Los Angeles, about that modality and how it has helped strengthen bones and muscles.

Our guest this episode is Ashley Koff RD, an award-winning nutrition expert with over twenty years experience, and creator of The Better Nutrition Program. We asked her for some nutrition tips for us Menopausal women, as well as just some better nutrition tips for eating as we age. We wanted to know what top three changes we should make to our diets right now, how to combat midlife weight gain, what are the best supplements to take in midlife, and just what can we eat?

Our guest this episode is Dr. Michelle Gordon, founder of Menopause Movement and creator of the MenopauseWorkshop.com, among many other accomplishments. Menopause hit her out of the blue with embarrassing hot flashes, crippling self-doubt, stubborn belly fat, and raging moods. She tells us how she turned her life around, plus she wants to help 1 Million women to do the same thing. Get her free Menopause Blueprint download here. https://blueprint.drmichellegordon.com/sf/ce83bb81  

Our guest this episode is Rachel Lankester, founder of Magnificent Midlife, an online community, membership, and podcast. Rachel experienced an early menopause at 41, which led to soul-searching and ultimately to creating Magnificent Midlife. Listen to the episode to hear her whole story. Her terrific podcast showcases midlife women - and we highly recommend it! Get her free download to help you find your purpose and passion here: https://magnificentmidlife.com/purpose/

Today we dive in to skincare and hair care for the midlife woman. Turns out some of what we all experience - the wrinkles, the crepey skin, the spots - that’s just a product of aging, not due to menopause. Not much comfort, really, but oh well! What can we do? Turns out there are treatments that range from cheap and easy to expensive and complicated. From over the counter to prescription-level treatments, pick whatever works for you and your budget! Check out our faves at Menopodcast.com.

What a season! It was the season of Deep Dives into the topics that every woman in Menopause wants to know about: Hot Flashes, Hormone Replacement Therapy, Skincare, Heart & Brain Health, Nutrition and exercise, and of course: lady parts. Plus we had some great Guests - Darcey Steinke (Flash Count Diary), Ashley Koff RD (Better Nutrition Program), Dr. Michelle Gordon (Menopause Movement), Sarah Glicken (OsteoStrong), and Rachel Lankester (Magnificent Midlife). Stay tuned from Season 6!

We open up our first episode back after our hiatus by catching up with each other: Sarah’s still growing out her grays - and Julia reveals a big secret! (Listen to find out what!) Then we discuss an article we saw in the Guardian. Turns out in the UK, they’re trying to enact legislation to protect menopausal women in the workplace. What a concept! We love it, but we wanted to hear from our friend in the UK Rachel Lankester from Magnificent Midlife, so she sent us audio.    https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/aug/25/mandatory-workplace-menopause-policies-uk

In big news for the Menopause community, there’s a study published in the Lancet showing an increased risk of Breast Cancer from taking HRT. Could be double the risk previously thought. So, as always, it’s important to check with your medical professional to assess your personal risk. Plus it turns out the UK is experiencing a shortage of HRT! We asked our UK friend Rachel Lankester from Magnificent Midlife to give us her perspective.

This episode was inspired by an article we found on NextAvenue.org, which asks whether the stigma regarding talking about Menopause is lessening. Has it gone mainstream, they wonder, because Gywneth Paltrow talked about her own perimenopause, and Grace & Frankie had a sex-toys-for-older-ladies storyline? We say: Not yet it hasn’t. BUT there are good signs it could happen in our lifetime! The Brits seem to be leading the way (again) in this, and we thank them. Millennials, it’s up to you! https://www.nextavenue.org/less-taboo-talk-menopause/

Sometimes science decides to look at things we think are common sense and quantify them. OK, fine, science, have a good time. We could have already told you that having people in your life with whom you can talk about Menopause would be a good thing - both online and in person. And now you get it, too. What we didn’t already know was that it looks like it’ll help keep Dementia at bay, so that’s a bonus. We read two articles that kicked off this show - we’ll post the links on Facebook.

Author Susan P. Mattern’s book is subtitled “The Science, History and Meaning of Menopause,” so you know we had to read it! It’s filled with fascinating concepts: about Menopause as an adaptation by Homo Sapiens to help keep our species thriving, and about the idea that Menopause is a Cultural Syndrome, only having been named by Western Doctors and scientists in the 1700s. Ultimately, we found the book a challenge to read - as laypeople, if you will. But cool ideas!  

We’re calling it done. This is our last episode of the podcast (at least until Sarah finally starts going through Menopause herself and can add anything new…) We’ve had laughs, we’ve read a lot of great books, we’ve learned a lot, we’ve interviewed smart, interesting women - and we’re both moving on to other projects. We appreciate all of you who’ve listened and we hope you all have the BEST possible Menopause - and beyond! Good Menopause To You!