Podcasts about our family wizard

Divorce and Children: The Parenting Mistakes That Can Increase Your Child's Anxiety | Featuring Retired Judge Michele Lowrance

Divorce Doesn't Need to Be Solved by EOD

Stay-at-Home Parent and Divorce: How to Leave an Unhappy Marriage When You Don't Have Your Own IncomeThinking about divorce is hard.Thinking about divorce when you're a stay-at-home parent can feel impossible.How do you afford an attorney? What happens if your spouse controls the finances? Will you have to go back to work immediately? What if you've been out of the workforce for years?First, get your hands on the $50 Divorce Crash Course to save money on your divorce process. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and top family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill tackle one of the most common concerns we hear in our community: how stay-at-home parents can prepare for divorce without letting fear take over.Whether you're a stay-at-home mom, stay-at-home dad, or the primary parent managing the household, this episode will help you understand your options, your value, and the practical steps you can take right now to prepare for your next chapter.In This EpisodeWhy stay-at-home parents often feel trapped in unhappy marriagesThe biggest misconceptions about divorce and stay-at-home parentingHow to afford a divorce attorney when you don't have your own incomeWhy gathering financial documents is one of the most important first stepsWhat attorneys look at when evaluating maintenance and alimonyHow education, training, and work history impact divorce outcomesWhether you should go back to work before filing for divorceWhat to do if your spouse controls the financesHow fear causes stay-at-home parents to underestimate their valueWhy information is the key to making better divorce decisionsWays to start generating income before and during divorceHow OurFamilyWizard can help co-parents stay organizedKey Takeaways✔️ Being a stay-at-home parent does not make you less valuable in a divorce.✔️ The work you do inside the home has real value, even if it doesn't come with a paycheck.✔️ Every divorce case is different, which is why getting legal advice early is critical.✔️ Gathering financial documents now can save you time, money, and stress later.✔️ Fear often makes stay-at-home parents feel powerless—but information creates confidence.✔️ There are often more options available than you realize.✔️ Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint.✔️ You do not have to have everything figured out before taking the next step.If You're Thinking About DivorceOne of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming they need to have a complete plan before speaking with an attorney.You don't.You simply need enough information to understand your options.The sooner you start learning about the divorce process, your finances, and your legal rights, the sooner you'll be able to make decisions from a place of confidence instead of fear.Our Family WizardCheck them out- they are a resource that is here to help you make coparenting easier. You can save 20% on your essentials package here: www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Divorce Crash CourseIf you're considering divorce—or you're already in the middle of one—the Divorce Crash Course was created for you.Learn how divorce works, what mistakes to avoid, how to save money on attorney fees, how to protect your finances, and how to make smarter decisions throughout the process.Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50 thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and SoberLink.

Fear Is the Quiet Devil in Divorce (Here's How to Stop Letting It Run the Show)Divorce is scary.Not because every fear is true, but because fear has a way of convincing us that the worst-case scenario is right around the corner.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport explores why fear becomes one of the most powerful forces during the divorce process—and how you can stop it from controlling your decisions.Get The $50 Divorce Crash Course. Drawing on insights about nervous system regulation, anxiety, and personal experience, Andrea explains why confidence doesn't come from feeling fearless. It comes from collecting evidence that you can do hard things and survive them.If you're feeling overwhelmed by attorney consultations, difficult conversations, legal decisions, or uncertainty about the future, this episode will help you understand how fear works—and how to move forward anyway.In This EpisodeWhy fear becomes so powerful during divorceHow your nervous system learns through evidence, not reassuranceThe connection between confidence and small winsWhy tackling smaller fears helps prepare you for bigger challengesHow knowledge and information reduce anxietyThe role of curiosity in overcoming fearWhy waiting is one of the hardest parts of divorceHow catastrophic thinking keeps you stuckThe surprising benefits of positive daydreamingHow to calm your brain before making important decisionsKey Takeaways✔️ Fear loses power when you gather evidence that you can handle difficult situations.✔️ Confidence is built through action, not certainty.✔️ Small challenges train your nervous system to tolerate bigger ones.✔️ Knowledge reduces fear because uncertainty fuels anxiety.✔️ Divorce decisions are easier when your nervous system is regulated.✔️ Catastrophizing is a habit—not a prediction.✔️ You are allowed to imagine positive outcomes too.✔️ Calm first. Then apply the tools.A Practical ExerciseThink about one thing you're afraid of during your divorce.Now don't tackle that thing first.Instead, ask yourself:What's one smaller thing I can do today that feels slightly uncomfortable but manageable?Maybe it's:Scheduling an attorney consultationPosting in a support groupAsking a question you've been avoidingCompleting paperwork you've been putting offSetting a small boundaryEvery action becomes evidence.And evidence creates confidence.Divorce Doesn't Require FearlessnessYou do not have to become fearless to get through divorce.You only need enough evidence to remind yourself:"I've survived 100% of the difficult things I've faced so far."You can survive this too.Divorce Crash CourseLooking for practical guidance, legal insights, and emotional support during divorce?Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest mistakes people make during divorce, how to save money on attorney fees, what to expect during the process, and how to make smarter decisions when emotions are running high.Typically priced at $150, available now for $50 thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and SoberLink.

Biggest Mediation Mistakes to Avoid:After decades on the bench, retired Judge Michele Lowrance has seen firsthand what truly destroys families during divorce—and it isn't always what you think.Don't miss out on the $50 Divorce Crash CourseIn this powerful episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill sit down with the Honorable Michele Lowrance, retired domestic relations judge, nationally recognized mediator, author of The Good Karma Divorce, and one of the leading voices in family law and divorce mediation. Together, they explore why mediation is often a better path than litigation, what happens to families when conflict escalates into court battles, and how parents can protect their children while navigating one of life's most painful transitions.Judge Lowrance shares the science behind emotional decision-making, the impact of divorce conflict on children, why the right mediator can make or break your case, and how even high-conflict couples can find a path toward resolution.If you're preparing for mediation, considering litigation, or simply trying to make better decisions during your divorce, this episode is a must-listen.In This Episode, We Discuss:Why mediation is often a better alternative to courtroom litigationWhat happens to children when parents remain locked in conflictThe emotional and neurological impact of divorceHow fear, anger, and grief affect decision-makingWhy good people struggle during mediationThe critical role of the mediatorHow to choose the right mediator for your divorceWhat to expect from the first mediation sessionWhy high-conflict divorces can still benefit from mediationHow to move from emotional reactions to thoughtful decisionsThe concept behind The Good Karma DivorceKey Takeaways✔️ Divorce decisions made from anger often create long-term damage✔️ Mediation allows families to move toward acceptance rather than remaining stuck in conflict✔️ The right mediator should challenge, guide, and creatively problem-solve—not simply carry offers back and forth✔️ Children are deeply affected by ongoing parental conflict✔️ Emotional regulation is one of the most important skills during divorce✔️ The first mediation offers are often difficult—but that doesn't mean mediation isn't working✔️ You won't always feel the same way about your ex that you do today✔️ Keeping your focus on the future can help you make better decisions nowThree Action Steps from Michele Lowrance1. Don't Impose Your AgendaBefore discussing a difficult topic with your co-parent, ask whether it's a good time for the conversation. Respect timing and create rules of engagement that reduce conflict.2. Remember You Won't Always Feel This WayThe emotions you're experiencing right now are real—but they won't last forever. Make decisions based on your future, not just your current pain.3. Keep Your Eye on the TargetFocus on healing, protecting your children, and moving forward. Don't try to navigate divorce alone—get the support you need.About Michele LowranceMichele Lowrance is a retired Cook County Domestic Relations Judge, nationally recognized divorce mediator, author, and family law thought leader. She practiced family law for more than two decades before serving nearly twenty years on the bench and has dedicated her career to helping families resolve conflict with less trauma and more humanity.Her book, The Good Karma Divorce, explores how individuals can emerge from divorce with dignity, healing, and purpose.Divorce Crash CourseThinking about divorce? Currently going through one?Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest mistakes people make during divorce, how to save money on attorney fees, what to expect during the process, and how to protect yourself legally and financially.Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Divorce Mediation: Why Preparation Matters More than you Think Most people approach divorce mediation with one thought:"I have to do this."But what if that's the wrong mindset?Make you check out the $50 Divorce Crash Course. In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport explains why mediation can actually be one of the most valuable opportunities you'll have during your divorce—and how proper preparation can save you time, money, stress, and frustration.Too many people walk into mediation without a clear strategy, without understanding what they want, and without discussing realistic outcomes with their attorney. The result? Missed opportunities, wasted time, and unnecessary conflict.Andrea breaks down exactly how to prepare for mediation, what questions to ask your attorney, and why mediation should be viewed as an opportunity to move closer to your goals—not just another frustrating step in the divorce process.This episode is sponsored by Worthy: the smarter way to sell your jewelry. Get started by heading to Worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your item sells for more than $1,500.In This Episode, We Discuss:Why mediation is often misunderstood during divorceThe biggest mistake people make before mediationWhy preparation is critical to successful mediationHow to identify what you actually want from the processCreating a mediation strategy with your attorneyUnderstanding realistic outcomes before you walk into the roomHow to anticipate what your spouse may ask forWhy mediation can provide valuable information—even if no agreement is reachedThe importance of choosing the right mediatorHow mindset impacts divorce outcomesKey Takeaways✔️ Mediation gives you more control than having a judge decide for you✔️ Showing up unprepared can cost you valuable opportunities✔️ You should clearly define your goals before mediation begins✔️ Work with your attorney to develop a negotiation strategy✔️ Ask your attorney for best-case, worst-case, and most likely outcomes✔️ Even unsuccessful mediation can provide valuable information✔️ Mindset matters—view mediation as an opportunity, not a punishment✔️ The more prepared you are, the better positioned you'll be to advocate for yourself and your childrenQuestions to Ask Your Attorney Before MediationIs what I want realistic?What steps will help us get there?What do you think the other side is likely to ask for?What is the best-case scenario?What is the worst-case scenario?What is the most likely outcome?What concessions or "sweeteners" might help move negotiations forward?What should I expect during the mediation process?About the HostsAndrea Rappaport is a comedian, marketer, divorce survivor, and co-host of How Not to Suck at Divorce. Through humor, honesty, and practical advice, Andrea helps people navigate divorce with more confidence and less fear.Morgan L. Stogsdill is Head of Family Law at Beermann LLP and brings legal insight and real-world family law experience to every episode.Divorce Crash CourseThinking about divorce? Currently going through one?Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest mistakes people make during divorce, how to save money on attorney fees, what to expect during the process, and how to protect yourself legally and financially.Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Divorce Anxiety Relief: A 5-Minute Guided Reset for When Everything Feels Like Too MuchIf you're listening to this episode, chances are something happened.Maybe you received a text from your ex.Maybe your attorney sent an email.Maybe you're feeling overwhelmed by co-parenting, custody issues, financial stress, or simply the emotional weight of divorce.Or maybe nothing happened at all.Maybe you're just exhausted.In this special guided meditation episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport walks you through a simple but powerful exercise designed to help calm your nervous system, regulate overwhelming emotions, and get your brain back online when divorce anxiety starts to take over.When we're triggered during divorce, our brains often convince us that every problem needs to be solved immediately. This guided reset helps you slow down, reconnect with the present moment, and remember one important truth:Your feelings are real. But they are not emergencies.Whether you're experiencing divorce anxiety, panic, sadness, anger, overwhelm, or emotional exhaustion, this episode is designed to help you pause, breathe, and regain perspective.Save this episode and come back to it anytime you need a reset.In This Episode You Will Learn✅ How to calm your nervous system during divorce stress✅ Why emotional overwhelm can make it difficult to think clearly✅ A simple grounding exercise to reduce anxiety✅ How to stop spiraling thoughts during divorce✅ Why your feelings are real—but not emergencies✅ How to regulate your emotions before responding to a triggering text or email✅ Practical techniques for staying present during difficult moments✅ How to focus on the next hour instead of the next yearTimestamps(00:00) Welcome and emotional reset(01:00) Why your feelings are not emergencies(02:15) Understanding divorce anxiety and spiraling thoughts(03:30) Grounding exercise: 5 things you can see(04:15) Grounding exercise: touch and sound awareness(05:15) Why your divorce is not your identity(06:20) Focusing on the next hour instead of the next year(07:10) Guided affirmations for divorce recovery(08:20) Final breathing exercise and encouragementKey Takeaways

***Link to the Guided Meditation for Divorce Anxiety**How Not to Suck at Divorce YouTube Divorce: How to Handle the Rejection When You Didn't Want the DivorceDivorce is painful no matter what. But when you're not the one who wanted it? It can feel like so much more than a life change. It can feel like rejection.In this heartfelt mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill tackle one of the most painful—and least discussed—parts of divorce: being the spouse who didn't want the marriage to end.But first- Don't miss out on our Divorce Crash Course. It's $50 for a limited time. Get it now to save thousands on your divorce. Why does being left hurt so much? Why do so many people immediately assume they're not enough? And how can that emotional pain quietly derail your divorce case, cost you money, and keep you stuck chasing answers you'll never get?Andrea and Morgan break down what happens to your brain when you're blindsided by divorce, why rejection often feels personal even when it isn't, and how to keep heartbreak from driving legal decisions.Plus, Andrea shares a simple but powerful tool that helped her survive some of her darkest divorce days: the "scheduled meltdown."In This Episode You Will Learn✅ Why divorce rejection feels so personal ✅ What happens to your brain when you're blindsided ✅ Why people often treat divorce like evidence against themselves ✅ How emotional pain can lead to expensive legal mistakes ✅ The difference between grieving a person and grieving a future ✅ Why family court cannot provide emotional closure ✅ How heartbreak can derail settlement negotiations and mediation ✅ The legal risks of making decisions from a place of hurt ✅ Andrea's "scheduled meltdown" technique for emotional regulation ✅ How to get your brain back online when emotions take overTimestamps(00:00) Why divorce feels like rejection when you didn't want it (03:16) The emotional conclusions people make after being left (04:20) How rejection can derail your divorce strategy (05:21) You're not really fighting about the house (06:33) Grieving the future you thought you would have (07:07) Why legal deadlines don't stop for heartbreak (08:17) The expensive trap of chasing closure (10:12) Morgan's cautionary tale about "Chad" and emotional decision-making (12:02) The opposite problem: fighting every battle out of anger (13:30) Separating emotion from legal strategy (14:00) Andrea's "scheduled meltdown" exercise (16:33) How to release emotions without sabotaging your case (18:18) Why this divorce is only one episode in your storyKey Takeaways

People are already using AI during divorce whether attorneys like it or not.They're asking ChatGPT to:analyze texts from their exexplain legal documentshelp write co-parenting responsesbuild parenting schedulesorganize timelinesprepare for mediationand sometimes… emotionally spiral at 2amSo where's the line between using AI strategically and using it in a way that could quietly damage your case?Leave us a review!

Manipulation during divorce can make you feel like you're constantly reacting, constantly defending yourself, and constantly emotionally exhausted. One minute you're calm… and the next, you're spiraling because your ex sent another manipulative text, guilt-inducing email, or chaotic late-night message.So how do you stop the cycle?

Nobody really prepares you for the moment your ex moves on romantically. You may think you're okay… until suddenly there's another person around your children, sitting at school events, helping with bedtime routines, or becoming part of your kids' everyday lives.And that can feel incredibly painful.

Divorcing someone who feels smarter, wealthier, more connected, or more powerful than you can feel incredibly intimidating. Whether your spouse is an attorney, business owner, CEO, doctor, or high-income professional, many people enter divorce already convinced they are going to lose.But here's the truth: powerful does not mean invincible.

Should You Hire a “Shark” Divorce Attorney? Here's What No One Tells YouWhen you're preparing for a difficult divorce, it's tempting to think you need the most aggressive divorce lawyer money can buy. A “pit bull.” A “shark.” Someone who promises to destroy your ex in court.But is hiring a shark divorce attorney actually the smartest strategy—or one of the most expensive mistakes you can make?

If you're typing “Celebrate Recovery near me” into Google because you’re desperate for help after discovering that your husband has been lying to you about his infidelity or his use of inappropriate material, you're not alone. BEFORE GOING TO CELEBRATE RECOVERY NEAR ME, CONSIDER THIS: 1. Recovery Programs Only work If He's Honest A recovery environment only works if your husband is completely honest about his behavior. Even in cases where he’s willing to attend a program, some women discover their husband takes “chips,” confesses slips, or shares breakthroughs in group without ever telling her. Not because he's changing, but because he's using the system to make it look like he's changing. 2. celebrate recovery near me Can't Fix Emotional Abuse When women search “Celebrate Recovery near me,” they often think the program will help heal their marriage by helping their husbands understand the root causes of their addiction and behaviors, especially if he seems willing to go meetings. But the root issue isn't addiction, it's entitlement, control, and dishonesty. Most recovery programs aren't designed to assess or confront coercive control. So instead of getting safer, some women end up feeling more confused. Before you invest your hope in any program, you deserve to understand the full picture. To discover if your husband is emotionally abusive, take this free emotional abuse quiz. 3. Some Men Use Recovery or Language as a Shield Many women report that once their husband joined a recovery group like Celebrate Recovery near me, he just learned to speak the language of recovery without actually changing. Instead of becoming more honest, some men become more skilled at hiding, using the right words, sharing at the right times, and appearing accountable…while the underlying patterns stay the same. This isn't necessarily the program's fault. Recovery culture tends to take disclosures at face value. But for some men, it becomes a stage rather than a mirror. 4. If He Gets Praise in Group but You Get Hurt at Home, Pay Attention The applause of a group like Celebrate Recovery near me can unintentionally reward performance. Your lived experience matters more than his report. If his recovery looks great publicly, but privately you feel scared, confused, dismissed, or blamed, that's a sign to step back and observe what’s happening. You don’t have to announce this to anyone 5. RECOVERY Programs Don't Replace Betrayal Trauma Support A program like Celebrate Recovery near me often uses a model that focuses on his trauma from childhood or his triggers. They may encourage couples to build routines that reduce his stress or triggers, sometimes placing more responsibility on her to monitor or support his progress. These might be good tools for people who genuinely want to heal. But they don't address lying, manipulation and entitlement. A woman in an emotionally abusive marriage needs support that centers her emotional safety, not his recovery timeline. 6. If You Feel Worse After the Program Starts, That Matters Many women assume feeling worse is a sign that they're a part of “the problem,” or they need to be “more supportive.” When his patterns of behavior become a shared problem…something you're both expected to manage…it often creates more emotional chaos for her. Her emotional safety needs to be addressed separately, not tied to how well he's doing or how much effort he appears to be making. Feeling confused, blamed, responsible for his recovery, or pressured to forgive and move forward…is a sign something else is happening. 7. Your EMOTIONAL SAFETY COMES BEFORE HIS RECOVERY STORY If you’re searching “Celebrate Recovery near me” to save your marriage, here's the most important thing: his recovery is not the foundation of your emotional safety. Your clarity is. It’s important to have your own support community in place that is educated in the dynamics of emotional and psychological abuse and can help you decide what you need for emotional safety. If you need support in addressing what's really happening, and whether a recovery program can help, you can start with the Living Free Workshop or BTR Group Sessions. They're designed to give you immediate clarity. Transcript: What Happened When I Googled “Celebrate Recovery Near Me” Anne: I’ve talked to hundreds of women who have typed things like “Celebrate Recovery near me”, or “addiction recovery program” into Google. Especially when their husband said he was an addict and he is willing to go to a program. So if he’s willing and goes to this program, it’s totally normal for a woman to think that things are gonna get better. But over the years, I’ve interviewed countless women who tell me things actually got worse. And I’m interviewing one of those women today. We’re gonna call her. Nancy. Here’s part of her story. Nancy: His coworker called me. She told me she was out with some friends. And he flirted with her and tried to pick her up. We were Going to Celebrate Recovery. He supposedly had been sober for months. Anne: We’re gonna get to her whole story, but before we do, I wanna stress that it’s important to understand that a manipulative man can use anything, a recovery program, therapy, even meeting with clergy to manipulate a woman further, and that causes a lot more harm and trauma. So before you start searching for a recovery program for your husband, it is important to consider what his recovery would be for and how abusers manipulate their victims. Most of the time, the therapist will say something like childhood wounds or addiction recovery. When really what you’re actually experiencing is emotional and psychological abuse. And I’ve even interviewed women who have tried to find an abuse program for their husband, and they still tell me the same things. So as you listen to Nancy’s story, I think it will help put into perspective what’s really going on and what steps you wanna take next. When I met him I thought he was a good guy Anne: That’s why I created the Living Free Workshop. It helps women know what’s going on, if he’s really abusive or not. Some women find out he’s not. And then what steps to take to create emotional safety in your life. It’s much faster to figure that out first, before spending tons of time and money in therapy or a recovery or Celebrate Recovery near me program. Living Free total run time is about two hours and 50 minutes, which is much shorter than three or four years to find out it’s not working. So Nancy, thank you so much for sharing your story today. Welcome, can you tell us how you met? Nancy: When I met him, he went to church. He served on the worship team, and he could talk like a preacher. So I thought he was a good guy. It was confusing, because we were play wrestling, and I wouldn’t have remembered this except I had written in a journal and I read it after everything fell apart. He held me down and said some things like, did you think you were stronger than me? Did you think I would let you go? It really scared me. I was very close to breaking up with him, but he actually cried and apologized. So I thought, he’s sorry. It’s not gonna happen again, and that sort of thing never happened again. He realized he had to be more subtle. He did tell me about his past sexual history. Mirroring my desire to serve missions Nancy: He was in the Navy and with several prostitutes. And he was honest, it felt like to me at the time. That he struggled with porn. I thought after we married, that wouldn’t be an issue. And honestly, I don’t know that anyone would’ve told me anything different. I wanted to serve in medical missions. He didn’t seem interested in this, so I prayed and left the relationship in God’s hands. I told him about how I prayed. And the next time we got together, he said, “He had been thinking and praying, and he really felt God moving his heart to missions. That everyone always thought he should be a missionary. It really blew me away, because I thought God had answered my prayer really fast. He knew that he was not only lying to me, he was also lying about God, and he chose it. Which makes him a really evil person. In pre-marital counseling, I was clear that I didn’t see myself as a housewife. I wanted things to be equal, and I didn’t plan to stop working. He acted like he was on the same page and that he was fine with this. So we married. Things were not good. In less than a year, he turned me down for sexual intimacy. Which was surprising and incredibly hurtful. Especially when I realized he was looking at porn. We went to see the movie Fireproof, and afterwards he admitted he was taking off his ring to flirt with people. I was trying to be very understanding, but I did feel hurt, and he got angry at me. He said this was the thanks he gets for staying away from porn for a couple weeks, which is not funny, but I’m laughing at the audacity. He Pushed Me to Quit Working While Avoiding Any Real Recovery or Celebrate Recovery Near Me Programs Nancy: I think I blocked a lot of it out, because somehow things were good enough back and forth between nice, the Christian thing, and when he would be not so nice. I didn’t recognize abuse. The only thing I could put my finger on was the sexual things. We never could solve how things were to be run. And now that we had children, he could step away and I would be forced to do more house duties, cooking, cleaning, et cetera. Because someone had to do all the things for the children. I would tell him what we had agreed before marriage, and he said, “Yeah, but I thought you would change after we had kids.” Anne: I said the same thing. I said, I’m not gonna cook. And he was like, no problem. Then later told me, I thought you would change. And I’m like, I was so clear. Nancy: Exactly, we’re both honest and open. It’s like, that doesn’t mean I have to change, just ’cause you thought I would change. Well, it did because we had children now that needed to be taken care of. Anne: Right. Nancy: The same thing I said, I didn’t wanna stop working.” And he would constantly try to get me to stop working. I was only working part-time. He wanted me to not have an escape route. We separated, but I was so exhausted and overwhelmed with a baby, 2-year-old, and a 5-year-old. We got back together pretty quickly. Discovering he was flirting with coworker Nancy: A year later, we separated again and went to couples counseling, ’cause I still had not seen how that was harmful. I was really hopeful, which seems funny after just like a week or two of separation. But his coworker called me and told me she had been out with some friends, and he was flirting with her and trying to pick her up. I thought this would be his rock bottom, because he’s almost lost his family. Anyway, we got back together and things were up and down. I was dealing with a lot of anger and depression, social anxiety. At the time, I thought I needed counseling to deal with my issues. We were going to Celebrate Recovery near me. His stated problems in Celebrate Recovery were sex addiction and anger. It’s so crazy knowing that, how could everybody there not believe anything I was saying? He supposedly had been sober for months because of all the addiction model stuff. We agreed that he would tell me if he ever had a slip within a certain amount of time. So at Celebrate Recovery, he went forward for a one-day chip, and that really shocked me because he wasn’t ever gonna tell me. When we agreed that he would. After that we had sex that was definitely, obviously coercive. I don’t think I had the words at the time, but I definitely felt that way because we had an agreement and he didn’t follow it. That was the last time we ever were together. He said he would throw me a 30th birthday party Nancy: I took a step back, and I was observing him because I felt like we were at the best place, and I’m actually an okay person. That means there’s nothing I’ve done wrong, literally. And there’s nothing I can do to change this. It just became increasingly clear to me. So I started looking for more information and came across BTR, but I didn’t listen to the episodes because I saw the word abuse. And thought that doesn’t apply to me. And I found a couple other podcasts. They didn’t fully explain everything, and then a really bad incident happened when I turned 30, a big birthday. Anne: They always do it on birthdays and holidays. Nancy: I know, I had always thrown him birthday parties. He’s an extrovert and that was something that he enjoyed and I didn’t mind, he didn’t throw me anything because I’m more of an introvert. So when I was going to turn 30, I told him that I’d like a birthday party and would like him to throw it for me. I said if he didn’t want to, let me know. ‘Cause it was important enough to me that I would throw it for myself. He said he would throw me the birthday party. But when I wasn’t seeing any preparations, I checked in with him. And the motions he made came across like he was planning a surprise birthday party. Anne: Like, let’s not talk about it. Or you might ruin your surprise. Nancy: Exactly, I had said, “I will throw it for myself.” I repeated that again, that time. He knew. He Claimed He ‘Forgot' My Birthday While Pretending Recovery Through SAA and Celebrate Recovery Near Me Groups Nancy: So my birthday comes up. I expect a surprise party around any corner. I come to the end of the day and nothing happened, nothing. And his excuse was forgetfulness. Anne: I never gave you the impression I was gonna throw you a party. Nancy: Yeah, It was always that gaslighting and blame shifting. I feel like I dissociated a little bit around that time. ‘Cause it was really hurtful, because I would have thrown it for myself. Anne: And he knew that and he gave you the impression that he was throwing you a party on purpose to ensure that you didn’t have a party. Nancy: Exactly, I actually believed him that it was on accident, but that was just as hurtful. Now, I believe it was fully on purpose. At the time I was going to COSA and he was going to an SAA group. Anne: When she says COSA or SAA, she’s talking about 12-Step recovery for pornography addicts or sexual addicts. There are other programs like Celebrate Recovery near me. And the COSA is a co sex addict’s 12-Step for a wife of an addict, where she basically does the same program he does and tries to fix her character defects. Nancy: Yeah, I’d been talking about giving him another chance to throw me a party, and they said if he already didn’t do it, you should not do that. So I ended up throwing myself a party. After that 30th birthday, I would get down around my birthday every year. I ended up telling him that, not in a way to blame him, because like I said, I didn’t think he had done it on purpose. I just thought I should let him know I wasn’t myself. Recognizing Gaslighting in real time Nancy: And it was the first time I recognized what he was doing in the moment, he started to say. “That had not happened. That didn’t sound like something he would’ve done, that my memory must be a little off.” So many different ways he was trying to convince me that it hadn’t happened, and he couldn’t convince me because I knew it had happened. So he switched tactics and said that maybe he should get counseling for being abused. Anne: He’s claiming that you’re abusing him. Nancy: Exactly, I was so confused. I asked him, “Abuse, what are you talking about? Am I being abusive right now?” And he goes, “No, the abuse I’ve had to endure for the last how many years.” And then I realized oh, that was gaslighting. That’s blame shifting, and I ended up leaving the room and cried on my own. It shook me up that he could take something very vulnerable and turn it on me like that. I was talking about that incident and how he was saying I was abusive and I heard myself saying, “It was surprising he would call me abusive when he’s been so much worse.” And that was the first time I thought maybe he is abusive, and that reminded me about BTR. I thought, let me listen to that, ’cause maybe I can get some insight. That brought me back to listening to the BTR podcast. And I vividly remember I was binging all these episodes, hearing women’s stories. It felt like my life. And it just blew my mind to realize I’ve been abused this whole time. Anne: I’m so sorry. You were experiencing Betrayal Trauma and were not aware that recovery or Celebrate Recovery near me programs wouldn’t help you. Addict model says he’s struggling, he’s not in control Nancy: It made sense. It felt like everything clicked into place. Everything else I was told didn’t make sense. I always talked about stuff. I was always looking for answers. And I never felt like I was codependent or that I needed codependents anonymous. None of that stuff seemed to fit. In fact, the advice I was given, “Don’t pay attention to what he’s doing. Only work on yourself.” While they’re also saying, “Don’t be codependent, ignore what he’s doing,” which just doesn’t work. The addict model, like he’s struggling, he’s trying, he’s not in control. I mean, that’s like step one. You’re powerless to control your behavior. He accepted the addiction model early on, and we were in and out of groups the whole time. But I don’t believe now that he’s an addict, and I don’t think he even thinks he’s an addict. It’s a great excuse to keep doing what you’re doing. Because there’s no accountability, and everyone applauds your efforts. Even if you’re not reaching the goal, you actually have a choice. He would say to me that he could not promise that he would never do any of the sexual stuff again. So it was like basically just saying, I’m gonna be doing this my whole life. Anne: My ex wouldn’t promise either. He said if I promised, “I wouldn’t be on my toes. Like I don’t want to think I couldn’t do that, because then maybe I would be in danger of doing it.” Which doesn’t even make sense. Like I can legit say, I will never have an affair. finding BTR helped me wrap my head around the abuse, Celebrate Recovery near me didn’t Nancy: Right, yeah. I found BTR. And the abuse model is they have a choice, and they’re choosing to be harmful and abusive. All these years he had been a liar. I stepped back and observed behavior for me to fully wrap my head around it. I believe he feels entitled to do what he wants. He doesn’t see people as people. Or maybe it’s just women as women. Objectification is a huge thing. I don’t think he ever saw me as an equal partner or a person. And I don’t believe he ever loved me. I was a desirable object he acquired, and that was it. When I started listening to BTR, it helped me understand abuse and the subtleties of it. Because before, I had only been thinking physical abuse or yelling insults, which my ex did not do. Listening to the stories helped me see how this plays out in marriage, even in a Christian marriage. It was helpful to see the ways men could twist faith things, because many of these men and my ex are very manipulative. Like it has to slowly play out over time to see what they’re doing. And a lot of it goes back to intent, and it’s hard to see intent. It was hard for me to imagine my husband is lying to me. So that was a shift too, to start looking at actions instead of words. BTR gave me a lot of insight into what I was living through and what was helpful, especially getting into the BTR groups. Celebrate Recovery near me didn’t do that. It helps build you up so that you can go through the hard stuff. We were going to counseling around the time I started going to BTR group. Going to couple counseling Nancy: Because of BTR, I had the words for it. I was able to express better what was happening. The counselor didn’t help my situation, of course. Individual counseling and couple counseling are unhelpful, because an abuser’s goal, my ex’s goal, was not to get better. His goal is to get whatever he wants. He’ll say whatever he needs to say to get what he needs from the counselor. We’ve gone to quite a few couple counselors. We would go into a new counselor, and he would bring up a new issue. He had never told me about me. Anne: Suddenly you’re a kleptomaniac or something. Nancy: Yeah, things that he thought I did that were hurtful to him, that I had never heard of before. But I felt so bad that I was hurting him without knowing it. What a callous person I am. Anne: Not knowing he was bearing false witness and that he literally made it up. Nancy: Yeah, completely distracted from why we went to counseling in the first place is sexual issues. Like I would have to be a safe person so he could be honest with me. Because I’m an actual caring person, I would feel like this was an actual issue that I needed to fix. And that is the part about the psychological abuse that is hard to describe. Because a lot of it could sound valid, and I thought these things were valid. But later realizing they were lies. They were lies, because he would’ve said them before. Anne: Exactly. creepy experience with new counselor Nancy: We did an in-home separation, At first. His abuse escalated the freer that I was getting. I never completely stopped working. I got a job and started after the in-home separation. He actually shut off the internet. Luckily, I prepared ahead of time. I had my own phone plan with the hotspot, So I could just switch over and just didn’t even engage with him. It has been a process of combing through my life, and I have wondered that how many lies I won’t even know about or remember. Because, I believed him and he was so good at lying. One of the new things he said was I wasn’t being vocal enough in bed. It felt so humiliating for him to say that to the new counselor. When he had never said that before. This male counselor wanted us to do an exercise right then on the sofa in front of him. He wanted my ex to touch like my foot or my leg, and then slowly move closer to my private areas. And as he moved closer. I was supposed to make more and more noise. Anne: No. Nancy: Isn’t that crazy? Anne: That’s so creepy. Nancy: I did feel incredibly creeped out, and I refused to do it. Anne: Good for you. He said there would be no equality in our marriage – Celebrate Recovery near me didn’t help with that Nancy: I wish I had just walked out, But after we left, I said, “I will never go back to that counselor again.” And we never did. I said, “What I would need to continue in the marriage was for him to be seeing his own personal counselor, to have a full disclosure with a lie detector test.” Which he said no to. And I know now it wouldn’t have been helpful. Just like Celebrate Recovery near me wasn’t helpful. Anne: I know, thank goodness. Nancy: Right. Anne: Mine never did that either. And I think I would’ve just been in the abuse for so much longer had he said yes. Nancy: Right, and then the second thing I said is that, “I wanted equality in our marriage.” And he said no. Anne: He said no, he didn’t want equality? Nancy: Correct. Anne: Wow. Nancy: So I was like, then literally that’s the end of it. And I was going to BTR group. I remember one of the coaches said to me, “It was a blessing that he actually had been honest.” At the time, I didn’t understand, now I do. And I’m so glad I asked those questions. I don’t know why he was honest. There are two possibilities. He didn’t think I would leave, because I hadn’t yet. We’d been married for almost 14 years, and he was only saying what was already true. You don’t need to be perfect to be loved Nancy: I just didn’t realize it was true. Or maybe he did want me to leave. I had some conversations with his mom. Because I found BTR, and surprisingly, she said it made her realize she was in an abusive relationship with my ex’s dad. However, she still felt like I should stay. Because she felt like the Lord had taught her so much and she had grown through all these trials. I have sympathy for her, but it’s so wrong. All of a sudden it just became very clear to me that if I stayed for the kids, it was actually putting them more at risk. And honestly, that conversation solidified that I had to leave for the kids. If you’re not sure yet if your partner is abusive, Just listen to some BTR stories and see what jumps out at you. You are a worthy human being that does not have to be perfect to be loved and treated with respect. Reconciliation is not necessary for forgiveness, and you don’t have to forgive anyone. It’s more of a process that can happen on its own time, and no one should force it. Pay much closer attention to someone’s actions over time than the words they say. And it’s never too late to make different choices when you learn or understand new information. I feel like having to make a choice that is wildly unpopular with people around you. Church, that I had to learn in a new way. Maybe for the first time, to not let what people thought about me affect the decisions that I make that part has been really hard because a church we were going to was not supportive at first. Call from somebody in Celebrate Recovery near me group Nancy: Some of them seemed supportive, and even the ones I thought were supportive, in the end weren’t. I actually got a phone call from somebody in my Celebrate Recovery near me group. She called me up to ask me if I was seeing a counselor. Because I still seemed angry. I was speechless, of course I’m angry. Anne: Yeah Nancy: I didn’t even know how to respond to her. I just told her yes, I’m in BTR group and got off the phone. There’s nothing wrong with being angry about the situation. I feel like church tells women they shouldn’t be angry. But Jesus was angry. There’s nothing wrong with being angry. Anne: Yeah, I feel like if you’re not angry, something’s wrong. Nancy: Right. Anne: I mean, nothing is wrong with you. You might be numb, you might be sad. I went through periods where I wasn’t super angry. I was just really depressed, but on the whole oppressed, abused, exploited people, their anger is from God to help liberate themselves from the oppression. But of course, the abuser does not want you to liberate yourself. He said flat out he didn’t want you to be equal. That is infuriating. Nancy: And now he wanted 50/50 custody. It was very upsetting, because my ex had been very non-helpful around the house and with the kids. It was hard to think that he would want 50/50. Anne: But of course he did. Nancy: I didn’t see that coming, and I wish I had been more prepared and could have been more strategic. Listening to him lie in the courtroom Nancy: I could not wrap my mind around that at the time. I had seen more and more abuse as my eyes were open. So I couldn’t wrap my mind around 50/50 custody. I was under the delusion that justice was in the court system. I found out, even though I know he lies, it was a big shock to listen to him lying in the Courtroom. It’s hard to witness. It’s something I wish I had processed before, because I’m sure that was pointed out to me. But I couldn’t process that as a reality back then. The Living Free Workshop was so helpful. And going to group and getting help constantly. The Living Free Workshop is so different than anything you’ve ever been taught. I don’t know how I would’ve made it through this, honestly. That was another thing that was really helpful. There were some scripts in Living Free to get him on Our Family Wizard, and he actually got on it easily. I was surprised. I didn’t think he would get on as easily as he did, and just not responding in any other way. Anne: That’s the thing, they’re desperate to talk to you. With the workshop, everybody says, how am I gonna make him go on OFW? And if you do the script and stick to it and do not deviate. Legit, don’t deviate. Once you’re on Our Family Wizard, literally block him on your phone, so he has no other way of contacting you. He is desperate to get your attention and your belief, like Living Free says, yeah, they’re so transactional. And if you respond through Our Family Wizard, he will find a way to do it. he performs for others in groups like Celebrate Recovery near me and in court Anne: They’re like, well, this is what I gotta do to talk to her, because I’m blocked otherwise. They will move. It might take a month. I’ve had it take the longest six weeks with one woman that I was working with. Every single time he texted, she said, “Hey, I’ve responded on Our Family Wizard.” Nancy: Right. It felt overwhelming, because he kept sending me long, manipulative messages, but I responded on Our Family Wizard. It only took me once for him to switch. Being on OFW was better. Oh, one of the books BTR recommends, The Woman They Could Not Silence. I read it and that was awesome. It helped open up my mind to spiritual abuse. It’s been inspiring to me this whole time. What she went through being separated from her children. That book has been really inspiring. The thought of leaving them with him, terrifying to me. We went through two rounds of court. He would make it sound like I was controlling and not letting him do things. Like why wouldn’t I let him take the kids to half of the doctor’s appointments when he never came to a pregnancy appointment? And same with field trips. He’ll go on field trips now, and I feel like it’s just to keep me from going. It. He never wanted to before. Anne: If he was actually a good dad, he would’ve been doing it before, but since he’s only doing it now, he is just performing. Nancy: Yes, it’s a performance because he’s getting something out of it from other people, like in in celebrate recovery near me, and it’s punishment for me because he knows how much I like being there for the kids. Reluctance to support anything he can’t control Nancy: When we married, he didn’t want us to do extracurricular activities. He didn’t even want free after school activities, much less anything you would have to pay for. He was only okay with youth group attached to his job, not the free after school activities. But since we’ve been divorced, he has them interested in hockey, which is one of the most expensive and time consuming sports there is. It’s very strange from my entire experience with him. He never talked about hockey, and he never wanted them involved. At the same time, he is not wanting to pay half of necessary expenses, like medical or orchestra uniforms. For a long time, I was not asking for half of necessary expenses. Because I didn’t wanna have to deal with him because he makes it such a struggle. Anne: My ex is exactly like that, exactly. When my book comes out, I’m anxious for you to read it, because it was all about control. Like, if I’m paying you anything or if I’m involved in any way, I have to control it. Nancy: Yeah, like my youngest wanted to do karate. His dad would not participate even when I offered to pay the whole thing. Other son was invited to concert band, and his dad said no. Anne: Think about the power trip that gives him that he’s able to manipulate them away from their natural interests. And maybe hockey is something that he wants to do. Like he thinks karate’s dumb, but he thinks hockey’s interesting. Draining my bank account and controlling my time Nancy: It is a huge expense that is very draining. When he won’t even pay half of an AP test. Anne: And that might be part of it. He’s, let’s pick the most expensive thing to drain her bank account. Nancy: Yeah, it was a double bind to drain my bank account and control my time. And at the same time, if I have to back out of it. He’ll say, sorry, kids, Mom won’t let us go to hockey. Anne: He’s calculating ways to set you up to be the bad guy. Nancy: Yes, he is an expert at setting up situations, so my bank account is being drained, and I cover a hundred percent of their insurance. Anne: With a lot of these post-separation abuse situations. They get the benefits, but they don’t have any of the responsibilities, and they can use it against you, but it never works for you. They can bend the rules in order to benefit them, but you can’t bend the rules. Nancy: In the Living Free Workshop. It was helpful to see how to deal with narcissistic abuse in marriage and how it plays out in separation, to find a way out of it. There was one thing you said, and this is when you’re moving away from his harm. You said, “If he escalates, remember that protecting yourself from the harm is not the cause of the harm. Just like evacuating a building was not the cause of the exploding gas lines.” He still wants to get together Nancy: That really hit me. One of the things that keeps haunting me is did I do the right thing? He still tries to get together personally with me. It constantly comes up that he wants to get together for coffee, or would I go to counseling with him, co-parenting counseling. I mostly ignore it at this point because he’s asked so many times. I don’t even answer him. Then if something goes wrong with the money situations or if there’s a point of disagreement, he will say, if you would’ve only met with me like I’ve asked, then this would’ve already been stopped. Anne: Yeah, we could’ve worked it out somehow, no. He would still lie. Nancy: It’s a trap. There’s that little 2% of me left that feels like, well, maybe I should meet with him, but no, it’s a trap. Anne: Yeah, no. Nancy: Because he never intends to do a nice thing. He just wants to get me in front of him again. I don’t think any good would come of it. Anne: A hundred percent, no. It might seem good, ’cause once you get there, it might seem good. He might like to turn on the manipulative lies to make you feel like he cares. I think one of the most abusive things people can say is, I love you or that I care. So manipulating you in that way is actually dangerous, and that’s probably what would happen. Nancy: I don’t think I could keep a straight face. It would skive me out so bad to be around him and hear stuff like that. Everything he says is the opposite of the truth Anne: Well, it’s just further evidence of his controlling nature, because he desperately wants to hang on to control. And so he’s increasing his lies because it’s getting away from him. That’s definitely a sign that he’s been lying the whole time. Nancy: I completely agree. I know that this is better for them in the long run, but in the short run, that sentence helps me right now. That was probably one of the hardest things for me to come to terms with, is that he never loved me. He doesn’t love the children. None of it’s real. It’s all lies, and he still does it. It’s mind-boggling. Everything he says is the opposite of what the truth is. He continues lying as he did in programs like Celebrate Recovery near me. As we were moving through the separation process, the boys did not want to leave and crying and like holding onto the car seats. It was horrible. I knew if I said anything to him, he wouldn’t care. Any altercation would be scary for the kids. So I started getting third party exchange people through a new church. I actually found a church with a woman pastor, which is quite lovely. The new church was helpful and supportive, and there were several people that would help me with exchanges. And things changed, like taking the Living Free Workshop, and suddenly I felt a lot stronger. I had a new understanding and confidence, so I stopped doing the third party exchanges. He actually met with the principal to try to get the principal to agree with him that I’m not allowed to go into the school on his parenting weeks. like in celebrate recovery near me, A clear example of him lying, controlling and abusing Nancy: Which isn’t true. You’re allowed to visit your kid in the school. Anne: Absolutely. Nancy: Unless there’s a restraining order, which there’s not. We have shared custody, but he made it sound like the principal agreed with him. I didn’t think it was the truth, but it scared me at the time. And we were about to have a party, and I signed up to bring food, so I worried I would be kicked out. But the principal didn’t say anything. Isn’t that a clear example of parental alienation? Anne: It’s a clear way of him undermining your relationship with your kids, lying, controlling, and abusing you. This is how he’s literally abusing you and your children. Nancy: Everybody heard about this incident, and it didn’t matter. He made it sound like he had just been concerned for the children’s wellbeing. Anne: Yeah, no. Nancy: My being around them upset them. Anne: Lies. That’s the issue they lie in programs like Celebrate Recovery near me and fool the leaders. Nancy: It’s lies at times it is possible that they might be upset, but it’s not because they’re scared of me. It’s more that they’re sad about the situation. My one son, he told me, it makes him sad to see me when he knows he has to go back to his dad’s. My daughter had a phone before we separated, but he wouldn’t allow communication between the boys and me ever. Once, my son called me using his sister’s phone. He was crying. I was only on the phone for about two or three minutes, and then the phone cut off. And they told me when they came back that he had been mad at them for calling me. Even if there is a court order they will find away around it Nancy: He wouldn’t allow them to have a watch phones either. That’s one of the reasons we went back to court. Anne: That’s the problem with court. You think if we get it in writing, then he’ll do it, but it doesn’t matter. He is not gonna do it no matter what. Nancy: This is what I have learned. I don’t ever wanna go back to court again, because it doesn’t help. No matter what you do, they’ll find a new way to cause harm. So there’s no point in any kind of new order. ‘Cause then they’ll find a new way around it. Anne: Exactly. Nancy: I’m still glad I went, because before I had been worried I had to do everything exactly perfectly or something would go wrong. And then I realized he’s doing wrong things on purpose. He just says stuff to get what he wants and nobody cares. So that has relieved a lot of fear. Anne: What would you share with listeners about what you’ve learned so far about finding help, maybe from Celebrate Recovery near me or elsewhere? Nancy: You know, hearing other people’s stories have meant so much to me, Living Free and the BTR coaches set me up for success. They told me to transfer half of our money to a separate bank account before I even told him that I might be leaving. That was incredibly helpful because I’m not sure if it would’ve been easy for me to get the money. I never used the word abuse or narcissism to him. That played out well, because he would’ve twisted it against me. Anne: A hundred percent. Kids need to know what a safe place feels like Nancy: Getting on the parenting app, super helpful, third parties for switches. Finding people to help with the things you need is just a lifesaver. I do feel like it will be better for the kids in the future, because they can be in a peaceful setting that’s not manipulative. So when they’re making decisions. About how they want to live and their future partners, that they know what it feels like to be in a safe place and being able to have discussions with them about men’s and women’s roles. Anne: Nancy, thank you so much for sharing your story today. And helping others who are searching, to find something truly helpful. Nancy: Thank you.

In this episode, I sit down with Sol Kennedy — software developer, founder of the co-parenting app Best Interest, host of the Co-parenting Beyond Conflict podcast, and a man who built the thing he needed most during one of the hardest seasons of his life. Sol grew up watching a codependent father and a controlling mother, and spent years of his adult life repeating that dynamic — giving up his power in relationships, avoiding conflict at all costs, and calling the absence of fighting a good marriage. It took a divorce, his first therapy session at 38, and laying awake next to his girlfriend at 2am feeling that familiar anxiety spike when his phone pinged from his ex for Sol to finally build something different. We dig into the psychology behind why co-parenting is so emotionally explosive — the trapped emotions, the triggers, the courtroom-ready anger that destroys custody cases — and Sol walks us through exactly how the Best Interest app works. It acts as an AI-powered filter between you and your ex, stripping inflammatory language before it reaches you, flagging your own reactive messages before you send them, and letting you set communication boundaries without needing your co-parent's cooperation. It's essentially a bodyguard for your inbox — and for your peace of mind. We also get into the practical stuff: why you should start with a divorce coach, not a bulldog attorney; why anger in the courtroom is the fastest way to lose custody; and why therapy isn't optional if you want to actually show up well for your kids on the other side of a divorce.   Timeline Summary [0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities [1:02] The moment that sparked Best Interest — lying in bed next to his girlfriend, anxiety spiking at every notification from his ex [2:23] What Our Family Wizard is and how co-parenting apps work [4:28] Why co-parenting is so hard — you're still in a relationship with someone you divorced [7:52] Sol's origin story — the codependent father, the controlling mother, and the name he chose for himself [9:22] Stepping into therapy at 38 for the first time — learning what "triggered" and "boundary" meant [13:05] Who Sol Kennedy is — founder of Best Interest, host of Co-parenting Beyond Conflict [14:30] How Sol's childhood shaped the relationships he sought out as an adult [19:47] The golden child, the scapegoat, and a marriage that never had real depth [23:29] How divorce changed what he was attracted to — and the intimacy he found on the other side [26:59] The catalyst for the divorce — a year and a half of therapy, a repetitive cycle, and his wife leaving just before the Covid lockdowns [29:26] How Best Interest differs from Our Family Wizard — shifting from a court-ready mindset to a conflict-prevention mindset [31:49] How the AI filter works in practice — stripping inflammatory language before it reaches you [33:29] How it protects you from yourself — reviewing your outgoing messages before you send something you'll regret [35:44] The only co-parenting app you can use solo — no co-parent buy-in required [36:46] Setting message frequency limits — Sol's solution to the 30-messages-a-day ex [38:25] The AI bodyguard — how Best Interest changes lives one filtered message at a time [41:14] Why men specifically get themselves in trouble — anger in the courtroom is the fastest way to lose custody [43:47] What newly separated men need to know — start with a divorce coach, not a bulldog attorney [45:19] Get to therapy now — learning where you feel stress in your body is not soft, it's survival [46:41] Internal Family Systems and somatic work — why trapped emotions show up as physical sensations   Five Key Takeaways Co-parenting is still a relationship — and without the right tools, the same patterns that broke the marriage will destroy the co-parenting dynamic too. Anger in the courtroom costs men custody. If you haven't done the work to regulate your emotions before you walk in, all the advice in the world won't save you in that moment. The best co-parenting boundaries are the ones you can enforce yourself — without needing your ex to cooperate or agree to anything. Start with a divorce coach, not a bulldog attorney. A good divorce coach will save you money, reduce conflict, and help you avoid the court system altogether where possible. Therapy is not optional. Learning where you feel stress in your body, understanding your triggers, and processing trapped emotions isn't soft — it's what lets you show up as the parent your kids need.   Links & Resources Dad Edge Business Boardroom: https://thedadedge.com/boardroom The Men's Forge: https://themensforge.com Best Interest Co-parenting App: Available on the App Store and Google Play — search "Best Interest" Co-parenting Beyond Conflict Podcast with Sol Kennedy: Available wherever you get your podcasts Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1466): https://thedadedge.com/1466   Closing If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: you don't have to let your ex's words reach you unfiltered — and you don't have to send your worst ones either. Sol Kennedy built the thing he needed most when he needed it most. And what he built is now changing the daily lives of co-parents who are trying to stay grounded, protect their kids from the fallout, and build a new chapter without letting the old one keep pulling them back under. If you're co-parenting right now, or you know someone who is, share this episode. It might be the most practical thing they hear all year. Go out and live legendary.

Get the Divorce Crash Course and grab your Balance Sheet Template here!Struggling to get what you want in your divorce? You're not alone—and the problem may not be what you're asking for, but how you're negotiating.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill break down one of the most common (and costly) mistakes people make during divorce negotiations—and how to fix it.Using a real-life example of “Chad and Brenda,” they explain why disorganized settlement proposals, scattered responses, and multiple documents can quickly derail progress, increase stress, and cost you time and money.You'll learn how to stay aligned in negotiations, keep proposals clear, and use simple visual tools—like structured documents and balance sheets—to track progress and make smarter decisions. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:How to negotiate effectively in divorceWhy responding within the same proposal structure mattersThe biggest mistake people make in settlement negotiationsHow to avoid confusion and “losing track” during back-and-forth offersWhy using one document or balance sheet can simplify the entire processHow visual organization can reduce stress and improve outcomes KEY TAKEAWAY:Divorce negotiations aren't just about what you ask for—they're about how clearly and strategically you communicate.When everything is organized in one place, you make better decisions, avoid unnecessary conflict, and move the process forward more efficiently. RESOURCES:Want a simple way to organize your divorce finances and negotiations?

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseDivorce is overwhelming. Some days you're strong, focused, and ready to tackle legal decisions. Other days you just need something — anything — to help calm your nervous system and get through the moment.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, host Andrea Rappaport shares three surprisingly simple tools that helped her survive some of the hardest days during her own divorce:Target. Alexa. TikTok.These everyday distractions may sound random, but they can actually help interrupt the emotional spiral that many people experience during divorce. When your brain gets stuck ruminating about things you cannot control, small shifts in your environment can make a big difference.If you're struggling with loneliness, anxiety, or intrusive thoughts during divorce, this episode offers practical — and refreshingly honest — ways to break the cycle.Why Divorce Triggers Emotional SpiralsDivorce often creates a perfect storm of stress:• uncertainty about the future• loneliness and silence at home• repetitive thoughts about the past• emotional overwhelmWhen your brain gets stuck in this loop, it becomes harder to regulate your emotions. Sometimes the healthiest move isn't deep therapy work — it's simply interrupting the spiral long enough to reset your nervous system.3 Surprisingly Helpful Divorce Coping Tools1. Target: Get Out of the HouseWhen you're stuck ruminating about your divorce, one of the best things you can do is change your physical environment.Walking around a place like Target gives your brain new visual input — colors, textures, movement — which can interrupt repetitive thought patterns.You don't need to go on a shopping spree. Just walking through a store, moving your body, and being around other people can lift your mood and help you reset.2. Alexa: Don't Sit in SilenceSilence can be one of the hardest parts of divorce, especially when you suddenly find yourself living alone.Using a voice assistant like Alexa (or any smart speaker) can help fill that space with:• music• podcasts• random questions• background noiseEven small interactions with sound can help regulate your emotional state and keep your mind from spiraling.3. TikTok: Embrace the DistractionScrolling on TikTok may not be the self-care advice most therapists give — but sometimes distraction is exactly what you need.When you're deep in divorce stress, going down a completely unrelated rabbit hole can give your brain a break from obsessive thinking.The goal isn't perfection — it's survival.Bonus Tip: Go Sit at a Bar (Even If You Don't Drink)One of Andrea's unexpected coping strategies during divorce was simply sitting at a bar with a laptop or book.Not for drinking — for connection.Bars are one of the few places where casual conversation with strangers still happens. Being around other people, hearing conversations, and interacting with a bartender can break the feeling of isolation many people experience during divorce.The Truth About Divorce Self-CareSome days you'll make healthy choices:• therapy• journaling• exercise• meditationOther days you just need something that helps the pain stop for a moment — and that's okay.Divorce is not a sprint. It's a marathon. And learning how to survive the difficult days is part of the process.Key Takeaways From This Episode• Divorce anxiety often comes from rumination and emotional isolation• Changing your environment can help interrupt negative thought loops• Sound and background noise can reduce feelings of loneliness• Distraction isn't always unhealthy — sometimes it's necessary• You don't have to do everything perfectly to get through divorceRemember ThisYour divorce will end.You won't be going through this forever. One day you will look back and realize that you survived something incredibly hard — and came out stronger on the other side.And until that day comes, remember:You've got this. And we've got you.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Meeting with a divorce attorney for the first time can feel overwhelming. You're emotional, uncertain, and trying to make decisions that could impact your finances, your children, and your future. The problem is that when you're in that emotional state, it's easy to walk into a consultation unprepared and ask the wrong questions-or miss the questions that actually matter.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill pulls back the curtain on what really happens during divorce consultations and shares the best—and worst—questions you can ask a divorce attorney.If you're preparing to meet with a lawyer, this episode will help you walk into that consultation with confidence, ask smarter questions, and avoid mistakes that could cost you time and money.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy divorce attorneys struggle to answer questions like “How long will this take?” and “How much will this cost?”How preparation before your consultation can dramatically improve your legal strategyThe surprising question every client should ask their attorney about how they present as a witnessHow communication expectations with your legal team can affect your experience and your billThe powerful question Morgan asks clients that reveals the hidden risks in a divorce caseThe Questions Divorce Attorneys Wish You Would AskDuring your initial consultation, asking thoughtful questions can help you better understand your case and set realistic expectations.Some of the most helpful questions include:1. How would I present as a witness if this case went to court? Even though most divorces settle before trial, understanding how your behavior, communication, and evidence may be perceived can help you strengthen your case.2. Is there anything in my story that could make achieving my goals difficult? This question allows your attorney to set realistic expectations and identify potential challenges early.3. What is the best way to communicate with you and your team? Many law firms work collaboratively with legal teams. Understanding how communication works can help you get faster responses and better support.4. What can I do to be more prepared and save money on legal fees? Being organized—creating timelines, gathering documents, and preparing information—can significantly reduce the amount of billable time your attorney spends on your case.Questions That Are Hard for Attorneys to AnswerWhile they're completely understandable, two questions clients ask most often are also the hardest to answer:“How long will my divorce take?”The timeline depends on many variables, including court schedules, negotiations, cooperation between parties, and whether the case settles or goes to trial.“How much will my divorce cost?”Divorce costs can vary widely depending on how contentious the case becomes, whether mediation is used, and how prepared both parties are throughout the process.The Question That Reveals EverythingOne of the most powerful questions Morgan asks potential clients is:“What's the worst thing your ex is going to say about you?”This question often catches people off guard, but it reveals critical information about potential arguments, credibility, and issues that could surface during negotiations or litigation.Being honest about weaknesses in your case allows your attorney to prepare for them strategically.Preparing for Your Divorce ConsultationWalking into a consultation prepared can make a huge difference in how productive the meeting is. Some helpful steps include:gathering financial documentsunderstanding who your spouse's attorney may beorganizing a timeline of eventsthinking through your goals for the divorceThe more information you bring to the consultation, the easier it is for your attorney to give meaningful guidance.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseResources Mentioned in This EpisodeGuide: How to Hire the Right Divorce AttorneyThe Divorce Crash CourseHow Not to Suck at Divorce Private CommunityYou can find direct links to these resources in the episode show notes.About the PodcastHow Not to Suck at Divorce helps people navigate divorce with clarity, strategy, and support. Hosted by comedian Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, the podcast breaks down the legal, financial, and emotional realities of divorce so listeners can avoid costly mistakes and move forward with confidence.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn't have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseRate our show! www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckDivorce can bring out emotions you didn't even know you had. One minute you're trying to stay calm and take the high road, and the next minute you're imagining what it would feel like to throat punch your ex. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport talks about what to do when your ex pushes you to your absolute emotional limit. While it might feel satisfying in the moment to lash out, reacting emotionally during the divorce process can make your case more complicated—and a lot more expensive.Instead of reacting impulsively, there are a few powerful ways to redirect that anger and turn it into something far more productive.In this episode, you'll learn three practical ways to manage intense emotions during divorce, avoid unnecessary conflict, and stay focused on the bigger picture: protecting your outcome and your future.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy reacting emotionally during divorce can backfire legally and financiallyHow writing the angry email you'll never send can help release frustrationThe importance of shifting from emotional reaction to strategic thinkingWhy understanding your ex's motivations can help you respond more effectivelyHow moving your energy into action can help regulate intense emotions during divorce3 Things to Do Instead of Throat Punching Your Ex1. Write the email you want to send—but don't send it. Get the anger out. Write exactly what you want to say. Just don't hit send. Emotional messages during divorce can easily become evidence that complicates your case.2. Think, don't feel. When your ex does something that makes you furious, pause and ask yourself: what are they actually trying to accomplish? Understanding their strategy can help you respond more effectively instead of reacting emotionally.3. Do anything that moves the energy out of your body. Anger is energy. Go for a walk, organize something, run an errand, take a class—anything that helps you move through the emotion instead of sitting in it.Divorce Is Emotional—But Strategy MattersDivorce can sometimes feel like psychological warfare. But the more you can shift from emotional reaction to strategic decision-making, the better your outcome will be.A moment of anger may feel satisfying in the short term, but preparation and clear thinking will serve you much better throughout the divorce process.As Andrea says in this episode:Plan more. Cry less.Need More Support During Divorce?If you feel like your divorce process is happening faster than you can keep up with, the Divorce Crash Course can help.Inside the course, we break down the strategy behind divorce—from finances and working with your attorney to custody agreements and avoiding the biggest mistakes people make during the process.The goal is simple: help you protect your sanity, your finances, and your future.Resources MentionedThe Divorce Crash CourseThe How Not to Suck at Divorce private communityAbout the PodcastHow Not to Suck at Divorce helps people navigate divorce with clarity, strategy, and support. Hosted by Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, the podcast breaks down the legal, financial, and emotional realities of divorce in plain English—so you can avoid costly mistakes and move forward with confidence.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

How to Respond to Threats and Aggressive Emails During Divorce: 2 Acronyms That Can Save Your SanityDivorce can make even the calmest person feel like they are about to unravel.One inflammatory text. One manipulative email. One last-minute demand from your soon-to-be ex.And suddenly your nervous system is on fire.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport share two simple acronyms designed to help you stop spiraling, regulate your nervous system, and decide whether a response is actually necessary.If you are dealing with high-conflict divorce communication, threatening messages, co-parenting drama, or an ex who knows exactly how to push your buttons, this episode will give you practical tools you can use immediately.Because when your ex is trying to bait you, your best move is not to react — it's to get strategic.In This Episode, We Talk About:how to respond to threatening emails during divorcewhat to do when your ex sends an inflammatory texthow to stop emotional spiraling during divorcewhy your nervous system reacts so strongly to conflictthe best way to pause before responding to your exhow to tell if a message actually requires a responsewhen to call your divorce attorney and when not tohow to communicate strategically in a high-conflict divorcewhy not every “urgent” message is truly urgenthow co-parenting apps like Our Family Wizard can reduce stressWhy Divorce Communication Feels So TriggeringWhen you're going through a divorce, communication with your ex is rarely neutral.Even a simple message can feel loaded. A text about travel, money, or the kids can instantly send your brain into panic mode — especially if the wording feels aggressive, manipulative, or threatening.Andrea explains that this is often a nervous system response. Your body reacts as though you are under attack, even if the threat is emotional rather than physical.That is why so many people:fire off emotional responsesregret what they wrote laterfeel hijacked by anxietyspend hours spiraling over one messageThis episode teaches listeners how to interrupt that pattern before it hurts their peace — or their case.Acronym #1: STOPThe first tool Morgan and Andrea teach is STOP, a simple framework designed to help listeners stop the immediate emotional unraveling.S — StopLiterally stop.Do not react. Do not respond. Do not keep ruminating.Say the word out loud if you have to:Stop.T — TemperatureChange your temperature to help regulate your nervous system.Andrea explains that cold temperature can help bring your system back online.Examples include:holding iceputting ice on your wristsdrinking ice-cold waterusing an ice roller on your faceO — OxygenBreathe.When people are triggered, they often hold their breath, tense up, and make the spiral worse.The key is to exhale first, then let yourself breathe back in.P — PriorityYour priority is your mental wellbeing, not firing back at your ex.Most messages do not require an immediate response.This is where listeners are reminded to give themselves at least an hour before doing anything.Why You Should Never Respond in the Same Emotional StateMorgan explains that when people respond too quickly, it is often obvious to attorneys, judges, and anyone reading the email that they got baited.That matters.Fast, emotional responses can:escalate conflictmake you look reactivestrengthen the other person's sense of controlpotentially hurt your caseWhen someone knows they can trigger you instantly, they are more likely to keep doing it.That's why creating time between the message and the response is such an important strategy in divorce communication.Acronym #2: THREATThe second acronym in the episode helps listeners figure out whether a response is warranted at all — and if so, how to respond strategically.T — TimingAsk yourself:Does this message actually need a response?If it does, do I need to respond today?The answer is often no.H — Highlight the parts that actually matterPull out the parts of the message that involve:your childrenmedical decisionsschedulingextracurricularsactual legal issuesIgnore the inflammatory filler.R — Redline the BSMorgan and Andrea encourage listeners to mentally cross out the emotional garbage.Most threatening divorce emails are full of:baitingexaggerationpersonal attacksirrelevant accusationsAndrea says it best:Most threatening emails are 80% emotional dribble-drabble garbage and only 20% actual legal issues.E — Emotionless evaluation of the factsLook at the message again without emotion and ask:Is there any actual merit here?Is anything true?Is there something that genuinely needs attention?A — Ask your attorneyIf the issue has merit or is really weighing on you, this is where your attorney comes in.Morgan reminds listeners that sometimes spending money on your lawyer is worth it for peace of mind and strategy.T — Take the strategic routeOnce you've gone through the steps above, you can decide whether:you should respondwhen you should respondhow you should respondThat is strategy. Not reactivity.High-Conflict Divorce Communication: Why Strategy MattersThis episode is especially helpful for people dealing with high-conflict divorce, difficult co-parenting communication, or an ex who weaponizes timing and urgency.Morgan gives an example of a co-parent suddenly demanding an answer about international travel for the kids and insisting that tickets need to be booked immediately.That kind of message can trigger panic fast.But the point of the THREAT framework is to help listeners separate:true urgencyparenting agreement languagelegal issuesmanipulative pressureSo they can...

Welcome to A Year and a Day. In this episode, board-certified family law attorney Jaime Davis is joined by her law partner, Melissa Essick, to discuss how parents can successfully navigate the holidays after separation and divorce, focusing on reducing stress and building new family traditions.Melissa stresses the importance of adjusting expectations: the holidays won't feel "normal" right away, but they will eventually find a "new normalcy" that can be positive for the children. They discuss why peace over presents is the guiding principle, and how a parent's calmness sets the tone for the entire season.Melissa introduces her key strategy for surviving the holidays: Plan, Prepare, Pivot. She shares practical advice on when to start coordinating holiday schedules (at least two months out), how to handle logistical roadblocks, and the critical need for flexibility. The attorneys also review best practices for communication, including the use of tools like Our Family Wizard to maintain a calm, fact-based tone, and offer guidance on sensitive topics like introducing a new partner and setting boundaries with extended family. Ultimately, they emphasize putting the children first to ensure a stress-free and joyful holiday season.If you are in need of legal assistance in North Carolina, contact us at Gailor Hunt by visiting www.divorceistough.com.Like this show? Rate it here!While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.

If the idea of “healthy co-parenting” makes you want to throw your phone, this episode is for you. Comedian Andrea Rappaport and powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill sit down with co-parenting expert and bestselling author Jon Bassford, JD, MBA, CAE, whose real-life story of turning a hostile divorce into a functional, daily-communication co-parenting dynamic will shock you—in the best way.Jon's new book, The Co-Parenting Secret: It's Not About You, doesn't sugarcoat the difficulty or pretend everyone can be friends. Instead, it offers a revolutionary reframe: stop thinking about "my time" or "their time" and start thinking about your child's life. It challenges the toxic win/lose mindset and offers a new model: collaborative parenting focused on emotional safety, communication, and showing up for your kid every time.His message resonates with divorced, separated, dating-but-split, or any parents navigating two-home situations, because it's not about having a friendly ex or following a perfect plan. It's about making intentional choices that prioritize your kids above your own convenience, preferences, or pride.Jon is also a TEDx speaker, CEO of Lateral Solutions, and brings 20+ years of executive leadership to his work but this book isn't about applying business frameworks to family life. It's about the messy, honest journey of getting co-parenting right after getting it wrong.Jon didn't start with unicorns and rainbows. There was resentment, trash-talking, incompatible living… the whole messy thing. But he learned the intentional steps that transform co-parenting from a battleground into actual teamwork. In this episode, we dig into what co-parenting looks like when it's real, what to do when your ex refuses to cooperate, and why saying “Of course” instead of “Fine” could change literally everything.Whether you're co-parenting with a narcissist, parallel-parenting with someone who refuses to meet you halfway, or just trying to not lose your mind over a simple schedule swap, you'll walk away with mindset shifts, scripts, action steps, and legal strategy you can use TODAY.Key Takeaways1. Co-Parenting Doesn't Start Perfect — It EvolvesJon and his ex did not get along at first. There was hostility, miscommunication, and resentment — just like what most people experience. Progress happens in baby steps, not giant leaps.2. Saying “Of Course” Isn't About Your Ex — It's About YouYour instinct is to say “no.” That's human. But dropping your guard and choosing calm over chaos immediately changes your internal state. Less spiraling, less anger, less anxiety.3. Strategic Co-Parenting Helps You in CourtMorgan breaks down how tools like Our Family Wizard create evidence showing you are the reasonable parent. If a judge ever needs to get involved, this matters A LOT.4. Letting Go Isn't Weak — It's SurvivalJon explains how resentment destroys your peace more than it punishes your ex. Letting go isn't excusing behavior — it's freeing yourself.5. Your Why Keeps You GroundedCo-parenting gets easier when you know why you're doing it: stability for your child, emotional peace for yourself, and a healthier long-term dynamic.Timestamps00:00 — Why “our natural reaction is to say no”00:17 — Morgan explains the legal strategy behind saying “yes”00:31 — What saying “of course” does for you00:57 — Andrea on isolation during divorce01:12 — Why connecting with community matters01:27 — Truly Engaging partnership + holiday card...

Money talk can make anyone want to hide under a blanket (or a naked sweater

Let us hear from you!Watch this episode on YouTube.Struggling to manage your child's extracurricular activities with a high conflict coparent? This video provides a detailed 12-step strategy to move from hoping for cooperation to planning for its absence. Learn how to make your ex's cooperation irrelevant and ensure your child doesn't miss out.In this guide from Coparenting Academy, we cover:How to review your court order (sole vs. joint custody)How to  propose a new activityWhy parenting apps like Our Family Wizard are criticalThe "two sets of equipment" rule for high conflictManaging schedules, finances, and transportation without conflictWhen and how to use the court to enforce your child's rightsStop the cycle of frustration. This practical plan will help you document every step, protect yourself, and put your child's best interests first.RESOURCES & COURSES For more in-depth courses and articles on navigating high conflict coparenting, visit: https://www.coparentacademy.comDisclaimer: This episode provides education, not legal advice. You should consult with an attorney about your specific situation.

Do you want your lawyer to actually call you back, explain the plan, and move your case forward? It's not magic...it's how you communicate and collaborate.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan break down what puts you on your divorce attorney's priority list (and what lands you on the “not today” pile). You'll hear real stories, simple scripts, and clear next steps to get faster responses, clearer strategy, and better service...without spending more than you need to.Questions answered in this episode:How do I get on my divorce attorney's good side so my case stays a priority?What is a realistic email or call response time from a divorce lawyer?How should I ask for clearer next steps when I don't understand legal emails?When is it time to get a second opinion or switch divorce attorneys—and how do I do it?What behaviors instantly sour attorney-client relationships (and what to do instead)?Listen in for the exact do's and don'ts, respectful scripts that work, and a refreshingly honest take on getting the support you deserve during divorce.Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode:Need a thoughtful way to connect? Shop our curated greeting cards here.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major (and expensive) mistakes. Learn more here.Our Family Wizard is a fantastic resource for anyone navigating co-parenting. Check out our partnership here.Friends, slide into our DMs—we love hearing from you. We're always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this, and we've got you.Instagram: @hownottosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Listen to This Episode If You…

In this episode, host Tracy-Ann Moore-Grant speaks with Steven Bradley from Our Family Wizard about the innovative co-parenting tool designed to streamline communication and organization for divorced families. They discuss the app's features, including messaging, shared calendars, payment options, and safety measures, emphasizing its benefits for both high-conflict and amicable co-parents. The conversation highlights how technology is transforming family law and improving the divorce process.

  Slam the Gavel welcomes Marineka Bowman to the podcast. Marineka was last on Season 3, Episodes 104, 131, 159, 160, 174 and 184, Season 4, Episodes 22, 48 and 61, Season 5, Episodes 149, 210, 238, 248, 256, 258, 263 and 271. HELLO DOGE and Pam Bondi.     Today we covered Marineka's updates to her case where Judge Natalie Haskins of DE is continuing to disrespect and disregard the imputed income that never existed involving the ex-husband who refuses to show his financials. Now, they have Marineka in the arrears of $23,000.00 and father NOW demands that she go to jail in order to break the  parental bond Marineka has with her daughter.      Bear in mind the father was not involved in their lives since birth and never contributed to help raising their child. SUDDENLY, he comes back into their lives only to turn it upside down. He asked for one day a week only for one hour to visit his daughter. Judge Natalie Haskins replied, "this is going to be an issue when you come back for custody." Essentially, father came back to court so Haskins could reverse custody and she asked him who would be helping him raise his child. He told her his father, who is in his 80's would be helping. So Judge Haskins gave him custody. Poor decision making on the part of the judge when their daughter was doing well in reading, and now cannot even spell simple words. Jeremiah 20:11.To Reach Marineka Bowman:   dismantlingfamilycourtcorruption.comSupportshow(https://www.buymeacoffee.com/maryannpetri)Maryann Petri: dismantlingfamilycourtcorruption.comhttps://www.tiktok.com/@maryannpetriFacebook:  https://www.youtube.com/@slamthegavelpodcasthostmar5536Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guitarpeace/Pinterest: Slam The Gavel Podcast/@guitarpeaceLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryann-petri-62a46b1ab/  YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/@slamthegavelpodcasthostmar5536  Twitter https://x.com/PetriMaryannEzlegalsuit.com   https://ko-fi.com/maryannpetri https://www.zazzle.com/store/slam_the_gavel/about*DISCLAIMER* The use of this information is at the viewer/user's own risk. Not financial, medical nor legal advice as the content on this podcast does not constitute legal, financial, medical or any other professional advice. Viewer/user's should consult with the relevant professionals. Reproduction, distribution, performing, publicly displaying and making a derivative of the work is explicitly prohibited without permission from content creator. Podcast is protected by owner. The content creator maintains the exclusive right and any unauthorized copyright infringement is subject to legal prosecution. Support the showSupportshow(https://www.buymeacoffee.com/maryannpetri)http://www.dismantlingfamilycourtcorruption.com/

      Slam the Gavel welcomes Marineka Bowman to the podcast. Marineka was last on Season 3, Episodes 104, 131, 159, 160, 174 and 184, Season 4, Episodes 22, 48 and 61, Season 5, Episodes 149, 210, 238, 248, 256, 258 and 263. HELLO DOGE and Pam Bondi.     Today we covered Marineka's updates to her case where Judge Natalie Haskins of DE is continuing to disrespect and disregard contempt issues involving the ex-husband. No Contact Orders are real. They, along with Attorney Laura Brooks are willfully trying to break the bond between parent and child, despite evidence that Marineka has tried to show in court. Her ex gets a slap on the wrist and hides behind "being a Christian," along with his deep connections to others that go to the same church. What HYPOCRITES.   To Reach Marineka Bowman: dismantlingfamilycourtcorruption.comSupportshow(https://www.buymeacoffee.com/maryannpetri)Maryann Petri: dismantlingfamilycourtcorruption.comhttps://www.tiktok.com/@maryannpetriFacebook:  https://www.youtube.com/@slamthegavelpodcasthostmar5536Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guitarpeace/Pinterest: Slam The Gavel Podcast/@guitarpeaceLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryann-petri-62a46b1ab/  YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/@slamthegavelpodcasthostmar5536  Twitter https://x.com/PetriMaryannEzlegalsuit.com   https://ko-fi.com/maryannpetri*DISCLAIMER* The use of this information is at the viewer/user's own risk. Not financial, medical nor legal advice as the content on this podcast does not constitute legal, financial, medical or any other professional advice. Viewer/user's should consult with the relevant professionals. Reproduction, distribution, performing, publicly displaying and making a derivative of the work is explicitly prohibited without permission from content creator. Podcast is protected by owner. The content creator maintains the exclusive right and any unauthorized copyright infringement is subject to legal prosecution. Support the showSupportshow(https://www.buymeacoffee.com/maryannpetri)http://www.dismantlingfamilycourtcorruption.com/

   Slam the Gavel welcomes Ron Platt to the podcast. Ron is the co-founder of NASDF (National Association for Single and Divorced Families) https://www.nasdf.org      With a background in insurance, business development, and real estate, and as a foster parent, Ron deeply understands the financial and emotional challenges families face post-divorce. His expertise in insurance product development led to the creation of Support Insured. This first-of-its-kind policy guarantees child support and alimony payments in cases of death, disability, or involuntary unemployment.     We talked about issues that resonate with parents going through a divorce. With Ron's insurance policy there will be staff available such as licensed therapists, Divorce Coaches. We discussed breaking the cycle and how financial instability after divorce impacts future generations and parents who will be able to talk to a therapist. Also, staying mentally healthy and resilient during divorce/family court Ron explains he will have a staff of licensed therapists in the group to help parents.   This new association offers support for single and divorced families and redefines the family by creating strong support networks to help divorcing and single families thrive.    NASDF is committed to advocacy, financial stability and emotional support for so many families now navigating single parenthood and post-divorce challenges and difficulties that may arise.To Reach Ron Platt: https://www.nasdf.orgSupportshow(https://www.buymeacoffee.com/maryannpetri)Maryann Petri: dismantlingfamilycourtcorruption.comhttps://www.tiktok.com/@maryannpetriFacebook:  https://www.youtube.com/@slamthegavelpodcasthostmar5536Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guitarpeace/Pinterest: Slam The Gavel Podcast/@guitarpeaceLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryann-petri-62a46b1ab/  YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/@slamthegavelpodcasthostmar5536  Twitter https://x.com/PetriMaryannEzlegalsuit.com   https://ko-fi.com/maryannpetri*DISCLAIMER* The use of this information is at the viewer/user's own risk. Not financial, medical nor legal advice as the content on this podcast does not constitute legal, financial, medical or any other professional advice. Viewer/user's should consult with the relevant professionals. Reproduction, distribution, performing, publicly displaying and making a derivative of the work is explicitly prohibited without permission from content creator. Podcast is protected by owner. The content creator maintains the exclusive right and any unauthorized copyright infringement is subject to legal prosecution. Support the showSupportshow(https://www.buymeacoffee.com/maryannpetri)http://www.dismantlingfamilycourtcorruption.com/

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseSo… your spouse wants a divorce and you don't? Oof. That's a brutal position to be in—and one we know all too well. In this candid, no-holds-barred episode, Andrea and Morgan dive into the exact steps you need to take—legally and emotionally—when divorce isn't your idea, but it's happening anyway. Whether the papers haven't been filed yet or you've already been served, this is your guide to protecting yourself, preparing smartly, and finding solid ground when your world feels upside down.What You'll Learn:The first 3 legal steps to take if your spouse hasn't filed yetHow to emotionally process being blindsided by divorceWhat to do (and not do) if your spouse has filedWhen discernment counseling works (and when it won't)How to avoid expensive legal mistakes just because you're overwhelmedWhy it's critical to understand your attorney's strategyBurning Questions Answered:“What if I don't want a divorce—do I have any control?”“How can I financially prepare if I'm in the dark?”“Is couples therapy enough to save us?”“What happens if I ignore the divorce petition?”“How do I hold it together when I'm falling apart?Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In today's episode, Andrea and Morgan break down the divorce dream team—who you need, who you don't, and where to invest your VERY hard-earned dollars. From therapists to forensic accountants and parenting coordinators, they give you the inside scoop on which players actually move the needle in your case. Plus, they get real (and a little savage) about online divorce coaches and overpriced fluff. If you're building your team or just starting out, this episode is your ultimate roadmap to not sucking at divorce.What you'll learn:What a “divorce team” actually is and why you need oneWhen hiring a therapist makes sense (spoiler: probably now)Why most divorce coaches aren't worth your moneyWhat a parenting coordinator does—and if you need oneThe truth about forensic accountants, child therapists, and financial advisorsWhich services save money vs. waste itThe one product they do endorse: The Divorce Crash CourseHow to use Our Family Wizard for smoother co-parentingWhat red flags to avoid when building your teamBurning questions answered in this episode:Do I really need a lawyer or can I DIY my divorce?Who should be on my divorce “dream team”?What kind of therapist is helpful during divorce (for me or my kids)?What's the real deal with divorce coaches on social media?What does a forensic accountant actually do?Is it okay to start therapy for my kids without telling my ex?Can tools like Our Family Wizard actually save me money?How do I handle team members when my attorney is from a big firm?Are financial advisors helpful during divorce—or after?How can I protect my mental and physical health during this process?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

If you've ever felt confused, second-guessed yourself in a relationship, or wondered if someone in your life is emotionally manipulating you, this episode is one you need to hear.More info, resources & ways to connect - https://www.tacosfallapart.com/podcast-live-show/podcast-guests/dr-stephanie-sarkisOn this episode of Even Tacos Fall Apart, I sat down with Dr. Stephanie Sarkis to talk about toxic relationships, gaslighting, and the real challenges of healing from emotional abuse. Stephanie is a licensed mental health counselor, a mediator, and an author of multiple books, including Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People—and Break Free. She's also a contributor to Forbes and Psychology Today, and she hosts her own podcast, Talking Brains. Basically, she knows her stuff.Stephanie shared how she was always the person friends came to for relationship advice, and after originally planning to work for CNN, she pivoted to counseling and never looked back. Her work, especially her books, are inspired by real-life experiences from her clients—many of whom struggle with gaslighting, ADHD, anxiety and depression. She said the feedback she gets from readers who've found the courage to leave toxic relationships is one of the most rewarding parts of her work.We talked a lot about gaslighting—what it is, how it works, and what it looks like. According to Stephanie, gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse designed to make you question your reality. It often starts small and escalates until you're isolated and unsure of your own thoughts. It can include things like hiding your stuff and blaming you for it, love-bombing you early on, then tearing you down, or pitting you against people close to you. She made it very clear: gaslighting is all about control.Stephanie also broke down the stages of gaslighting—idealization, devaluation and discard—and how those phases mess with your head. And if you're wondering whether narcissists are involved, the answer is yes—often. Especially the kind who never think they're the problem and rarely show up for therapy unless it's to blame someone else.We also talked about the trickiness of co-parenting with a gaslighter, especially if you can't go completely no-contact. Stephanie had practical advice for managing communication through apps like Our Family Wizard and Talking Parents, keeping interactions minimal and getting everything documented.When it comes to healing, Stephanie stressed the importance of therapy, support systems, and going completely no-contact if possible. She said that survivors often carry guilt and shame, especially when the abuser is a parent or partner. But it's okay to protect your peace. You don't owe anyone continued access to you—especially someone who's hurt you.The interview wasn't all heavy—we laughed about tone checkers for work emails, how pets can spot a toxic person before you can, and how important it is to find humor even when things are hard. Stephanie also shared her favorite poem (Richard Cory) and how it reminds her that we never really know what someone's going through.This conversation was real, honest and empowering—just what Mental Health Monday is all about.

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseIn this episode on How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea welcome Renee Swanson, host of the Covert Narcissism podcast, for a powerful conversation about planning your way out of an emotionally abusive marriage. Renee shares how she reclaimed her identity, protected her children, and gathered strength before initiating divorce — all while still living under the same roof as her husband. It's an episode full of actionable guidance, healing truths, and hope for anyone feeling stuck, exhausted, and unsure of their next move.What you'll learn:How to emotionally prepare before leaving a toxic relationshipThe power of “baby steps” and small daily actions that build long-term momentumWays to gather legal and emotional information to reduce overwhelmHow to communicate safely and reclaim your dignity while still in the marriageTools and strategies for coexisting with a high-conflict partner during separationWhy there's never a perfect time to divorce — and why that's okayQuestions answered in this episode:Can you begin healing while still in an emotionally abusive marriage?What does a practical, step-by-step divorce exit plan look like?How do you manage sharing a home with someone who triggers or controls you?How do you know when it's really time to leave?What legal steps should you take while you're still deciding?How do you stop reacting and start protecting your peace?Our Family Wizard is another fantastic resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our DMs, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Connect with our guest, Renee: https://www.covertnarcissism.com/podcastInstagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the complexities of navigating a divorce when you have a child with special or higher needs. We're joined by Cari Pines, an attorney in LA who specializes in family law and has personal experience with raising special needs children. Cari shares her expertise on how to manage the legal and emotional challenges that come with divorce when your child requires extra care and attention.What you'll learn:How to communicate effectively with your attorney about your child's special needsThe importance of gathering information about your child's diagnosis, behaviors, and needs before you begin the divorce processThe role of a forensic expert and why this might be necessary in some casesPractical advice on managing disputes with your ex regarding your child's medical care and therapyTips on using tools like Our Family Wizard to keep track of communications and medical expensesHow to take care of yourself while navigating the difficult path of parenting a child with special needs during a divorceOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Anyone that has ever been a parent knows that parenting can be challenging.  Sometimes half the battle is between the parents and not the kids.  But, if we want to make it even more challenging, add a divorce or separation into the picture.  Yes, now parenting goes to a new level of challenging.  We often see what is called Parental Alienation between parents and their kids.  One parent intentionally or not, making it more difficult for the other parent to be involved in their kid's life.  This can be blatantly obvious or even more subtle.  The problem is that it causes damages to all the parties involved.  Nobody wins when this tactic is used.  Cooperation and unity are the keys to successful parenting whether divorced or not.  Having both adults in the child's life coming to common values and expectations and then enforcing them when under the care of either parent.  This alleviates the confusion and the process of raising the child is more clear on everyone's part.  Co-Parenting After Divorce: Strategies for SuccessEphesians 4:3 -  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.Divorce can be a challenging experience for any family, but it can be especially difficult when co-parenting arrangements are involved. When two adults are not able to communicate effectively or work together amicably, the situation can become even more complex. However, there are several strategies that can help co-parents navigate these challenges and create a positive environment for their children.One of the most effective strategies for co-parenting after divorce is to prioritize the needs of the children. This means putting aside personal differences and focusing on what is best for the children's well-being. Research has shown that children of divorced parents who have a positive relationship with both parents tend to have better emotional and social outcomes (Pruett & Pruett, 2009).Another important strategy is to establish clear and consistent communication channels. This can be done through regular meetings, emails, or phone calls. It is important to maintain a respectful and professional tone, even when disagreements arise. Open and honest communication can help to minimize misunderstandings and resolve conflicts more effectively. When conflict is high, most courts recommend a safe and effective communication tool, Our Family Wizard, to communicate necessary messages.  The messages are saved and visible to the courts. This helps to keep everyone accountable with our messaging. It is also crucial to develop a parenting plan that outlines the specific details of custody, visitation, and decision-making responsibilities. This plan should be clear, concise, and legally binding. It is important to seek legal advice to ensure that the plan is fair and enforceable.In addition to these strategies, co-parents may also benefit from seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance and support in developing effective communication skills and resolving conflicts. They can also help to address any underlying emotional issues that may be impacting the co-parenting relationship.If you need help in this area please contact us at https://rocksolidfamilies.orgSupport the show#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy, #marriagecounseling, #parenting, #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity

Welcome back to NK Podcast Shared! In today's episode, host Lori delves into a vital discussion on the increasing role of mediation and technology in reducing the stress of parental disputes during divorce and separation. Joined by our expert guest, they explore the importance of keeping children's best interests at heart while navigating the complexities of family law. We'll highlight the growing trend of parents opting for out-of-court conflict resolution, the challenges faced by those representing themselves due to financial constraints, and the critical need for judges to acknowledge personal aspects of each case beyond mere attorney interactions. Much of our conversation focuses on "Our Family Wizard," an app designed to streamline co-parenting communication. We'll examine its plethora of features, from unalterable messaging to expense management and audio/video calls, all aimed at reducing misunderstandings and fostering cooperative co-parenting. Lori reflects on her personal experience, sharing anecdotes about how improvements in communication tools could have eased her past co-parenting struggles. Additionally, we touch on legal complexities, the importance of clear court orders, and practical communication techniques like the BIFF method to handle high-conflict situations effectively. Whether you're a parent going through a separation or interested in family law, this episode provides valuable insights and practical tips to navigate these challenging waters. Tune in to discover how innovation and empathy can transform co-parenting and reduce litigation stress. In this episode, we discuss: "Our Family Wizard" App Communication in Co-Parenting Legal Documentation and Order Writing Technology in Legal Agreements Nacho Success Story: “The Support I Didn't Know I Needed” "I wasn't sure if Nacho Kids Academy was for me, but it ended up being exactly what I needed. The guided content gave me practical steps to take, and the group calls offered a place to share and get advice. It's made me a better husband and father, and I feel more confident in my role as a stepdad." — Jason H  

Welcome to NK Podcast 277, where we dive deep into the complexities of blended families, co-parenting, and everything in between. In today's episode,  Lori has the pleasure of speaking with esteemed guest Bradley S Craig, a Licensed Master Social Worker and Certified Family Life Educator, known for his insightful book Between 2 Homes. Today's conversation ranges from the nuanced roles of stepparents to the intricacies of custody modifications, all the way through effective co-parenting techniques and the societal impact of blended family dynamics. This interview was so full of information we had to split it up into two parts!  We explore the often misunderstood influence of stepmoms, the implications of custody change requests post-remarriage, and the significance of terminology with terms like "bonus mom" and "nesting." Bradley shares his wisdom on maintaining consistent family dynamics, avoiding common pitfalls in high-conflict co-parenting situations, and adopting a professional mindset for better child welfare. We'll also discuss practical tools like the "Our Family Wizard" app, the pressures societal norms place on stepfamilies, and Bradley's recommendations for effective co-parent communication. This is not just a theoretical discussion; Bradley also brings in his personal experiences and professional insights, making it a must-listen for anyone navigating the challenges of blended families. Stay tuned for a thought-provoking conversation that offers valuable strategies, empathy, and a fresh perspective on stepfamily complexities.  Let's dive in!   In this episode, we discuss: Stepmom Influence Trust and Boundaries Court System and Legal Procedures Parenting Facilitators Business Mindset in Co-parenting Terms and Perceptions   Nacho Kids Academy Success Story: “I have never seen anyone care so much about helping others. Lori goes above and beyond for her clients. You can tell she and David both do this to truly help others. They are a blessing to the world of stepparents!” ~ K.H.

In this important re-air, we're here with Dr. Meaghan Boston Daly to talk about divorce and physical wellness. Dr. Meg is a concierge internal medicine doctor in Chicago and has quite the resume. We're so excited to be able to pick her beautiful brain.  **And if you're already contemplating divorce, go check out our crash course. Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course We'll discuss how being in an unhappy marriage really wears us down. Dr. Meg will tell us all about the subtle physical symptoms of emotional stress, Morgan will answer if your spouse can find out if you're on medication for your mental health during the divorce process, and Andrea will share about the connection between her body pain and being in a toxic marriage.   Where to find Dr. Meg: www.harper-health.com   Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Oh friends, you won't want to miss this episode. Morgan and Andrea are back this week (with an amazing re-air) with top Dallas family law attorney, Rebecca Armstong, find her here! talking about the things you SHOULD and SHOULDN'T do after you file for divorce. First off, do you have the DCC??? If not, you 100% need this tool so you don't totally screw up in your divorce process. It will save you THOUSANDS of dollars!! GET IT HERE! Rebecca, Morgan and Andrea answer: -What 3 things should you do after you file for divorce? -What 3 things should you absolutely NOT do after you file for divorce? -Do I need a therapist if I'm going through a divorce? -Can being in therapy be used against me if I'm going through a divorce? -Why should I go to an annual checkup at the doctor during a divorce? -Can I record my spouse during an argument and use it during divorce proceedings? -Will my spending habits be scrutinized during a divorce? -What advice did Oprah give Andrea about her own divorce? *************** Let's talk about co parenting, shall we?? Our Family Wizard is here to help you with your co parenting journey and we are HUGE fans of what they do. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck    

How do you know if it's time to leave your marriage??​​  Is your marraige worth saving?? How the hell do you do that and who the hell is going to help you figure that out???   Ever wondered if you would benefit from Discernment Counseling? The founder of discernment counseling, Dr. Bill Doherty, joins us on the podcast to find out . Not only did Dr. Doherty develop a specific type of counseling for couples where one is considering divorce, he's also been on Oprah not just once, but twice! From Harpo to How Not To Suck At Divorce, Dr. Doherty is moving up in the world, that's for sure. (hahahhaa)   Discernment counseling is when one person is leaning OUT of the relationship and considering divorce and the other person is leaning IN and wants to try to make things work. This type of counseling gives people clarity and confidence based on a deeper understanding of what has happened in the marriage. Dr. Doherty answers the questions: 1 What is discernment counseling? 2 Does discernment counseling solve problems in the marriage? 3 What are the differences between couples therapy and discernment counseling? 4 How long is discernment counseling? 5 What are the three paths of discernment counseling? 6 How do I know if we should try couples therapy or discernment counseling? Stay until the end because Dr. Doherty blows the lid off traditional therapy and tells us he favorite type of wine (you won't believe his answer).  You can find Dr. Bill Doherty and search for a local discernment counselor at  http://www.discernmentcounseling.com   *Do you have our DCC?? If you're considering divorce, you should!! https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course And don't forget about Our Family Wizard. It's our #1 app for coparents who are looking to not suck at this process! Check them out here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck   Please hit the 5 stars in your podcast app, we need the external validation, but more importantly, it helps our podcast show up in searches so we can help those who are struggling through the divorce process.  Remember, you got this and we got you. Slide into our dms, we love hearing from you! @theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago @hownottosuckatdivorce  

How do you know when your marriage is over? How do you know if it's just a phase or if something that was once there will never really come back? Did you "try hard enough" to "save your marraige" and what does that even mean??? At what point can you confident that divorce is the right decision for you??? What we have learned in our professional careers as a family law attorney and hosting this podcast is that sometimes hearing other people's stories help you relate more to your own. So today, we are re airing an episode from the second season of our show which features someone's personal story about when they knew their marriage was offically over.  **** And if you're ready to begin the divorce process, you NEED the DCC! It's our one of a kind, Divorce Crash Course. This course literally holds your hand through all of your major decisions. You'll avoid MAJOR mistakes and save up to THOUSANDS of dollars because you're getting advice from one the most sought after divorce attorneys in the country!! For $97, this course will change your life. And we mean that. Check it out here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course  We welcome guest and retired husband, Mike Draper, to the show as he shares his story of when he knew it was over and what life after divorce is really like for a single dad. Check out Magic Mike, (I'm sorry), I mean Mortgage Mike on IG @mortgage_mike As always we're keeping it real and keeping the levity because this process is tough enough. But you are never alone. You got this and we got you. *** If you need support with coparenting- or maybe you just want some extra insight into what coparenting will look for you- look no further than Our Family Wizard. You can get specialized information that WE created with OFW just for our listeners here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck And don't worry, we are back with fresh episodes in just a few weeks!!

If you haven't been living under a rock, you saw the movie: The Wolf of Wall Street. Now you're going to hear about the real life experience of being married to infamous character in which the movie was written about.  So what was it like being married to the Wolf of Wall Street??   Wel, their eight-year marriage began as a fairytale, filled with romantic dinners, expensive gifts, and lavish parties. But once they were bonded, Jordan's ‘mask' began to slip and acts of infidelity, narcissistic abuse, insatiable greed, and uncontrollable drug addiction became Nadine's living nightmare. Nadine naively believed that their connection was real, and that her love could save him, so she remained trauma-bonded until the pain of their relationship became too much to bear. It would be decades before she realized her story resembled thousands of other women's relational experiences.   At the age of 30, Dr Nadine, or Dr Nae as she's often referred, packed up her curtains and kids and relocated to Los Angeles. She began a transformative process of intensive therapy and deep self-reflection, which required facing her pain, admitting, and owning her mistakes, and reconnecting with the authentic self she'd lost due to Jordan's abuse. Through her own healing, a passion for helping others was born. She returned to school at 39 to become a psychotherapist, and ten years later, graduated with a PhD in Counseling and Somatic Psychology. You're also going to hear find out the hell can you do so that you're not carrying around this weight and this storm cloud for the rest of your life. To learn more about how YOU can work directly with Dr Nae (and we know you want to), check her out here: https://drnae.com/about-dr-nadine-macaluso/# AND, grab her book, Run Like Hell here: https://drnae.com/run-like-hell-book/ So tune in as we chat with Dr. Nadine Macaluso, a clinical expert and ex-wife of the real-life Wolf of Wall Street, Jordan Belfort.   If you're in need of coparenting support- look no further than Our Family Wizard. We LOVE them. Head here for more information: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck And finally, if Dr Nae's story sound at all like yours...you NEED the Divorce Crash Course, get it here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Send us a Text Message.It's hard to talk with an ex under emotionally charged circumstances, yet moms and dads still need to coordinate schedules for the kids while keeping down the drama. Wouldn't it be nice if there were some kind of tool to keep everyone on track and still civil?In this episode of the Modern Divorce Podcast, host Billie Tarascio is joined by Tracy Krall, a former family law attorney and current representative of Our Family Wizard, an innovative app designed to make co-parenting easier by streamlining communication and reduce conflict.Tracy details the app's multifaceted features, including the journal, Infobank, and calendar tools. The app allows parents to share memories, store essential information like insurance details, and manage schedules. For parents still dealing with legal issues, tracking everyday activities and behaviors of both parties can be an important element.For instance, the app includes a reimbursement system and the innovative Tone Meter feature, which helps co-parents communicate more effectively and respectfully. The discussion also covers the app's customizable notifications and GPS check-ins, which provide additional layers of accountability and transparency. Billie and Tracy also discuss the app's cost and its fee waiver programs, ensuring that financial constraints don't stop families from benefiting from using its features. For more information, check out OurFamilyWizard.com/modernlaw 

Okay, let's face it- if you're listening to this podcast you know that (& if you're a new listener you will soon find out)  community, and support during divorce, is SO IMPORTANT. When you can't decide whether you need to scream in your car/bathroom/ or random aisle at Target, you need to know who you can turn to who will comfort you, make you laugh, and remind you that this horrible phase that you're in will not be your forever. Today on the show we're talking to our good friend, and dad of three: Rob Roseman. Rob is also  the founder of WTF Divorce. We adore Rob and on this episode he shares his journey of realizing the significance of finding support through online communities after going through a divorce of his own.  In this episode, we talk: -Challenges of isolation -Benefits of relatable humor -Critical advice for engaging with credentialed professionals -Rob's book "WTF Divorce" and all of the joy it can bring to your life!! Check out the book here: amazon link! Follow Rob on IG- 139K already do!! http://www.instagram.com/wtfdivorce Listen to this episode to learn how community helps make a difficult process more bearable and even bring some much-needed laughter into your life!  If you're starting your divorce process, you NEED the DCC, check that out here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course Our Family Wizard is here to help you with your coparenting journey! Visit our special landing page for them to learn more about why are one of the MUST HAVES for your divorce. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

We know - it sounds pretty daunting and impossible. This episode is full of actionable steps for you to take. In this episode, we chat again with forensic psychotherapist guest, Micaela Van Dine https://mvdpsychotherapy.com/, about how to prepare to leave your abusive marriage. You're going to hear about: -Setting a timeline for leaving (we know- sounds impossible) -Understanding your/your spouse's financial situation -Securing sentimental belongings -Safely exiting the marriage -Making sure you're doing things "by the law" in your state -Be SUPER mindful of the kids Our Divorce Crash Course was help you out here- BIG TIME- please, go check it out. It's $97 and will give you an actionable plan that will help save THOUSANDS and avoid major mistakes. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course  Friends, you can reach out to Micaela directly on her website if you want her consulting advice.  As always it's recommended to consult with legal professionals and therapists specific to the listener's jurisdiction to ensure appropriate and personalized advice. If you need support in finding someone in your area, shoot us over an email at hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com   Our Family Wizard is here to help you with your coparenting journey. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck Soberlink is here for you if you're concerned about alcohol usage during parenting time. Go to: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck to get $50 off your device.

In this episode, we are joined by Lisa Zeiderman, a seasoned attorney specializing in family law, to dive into the often challenging topics of prenuptial agreements, co-parenting, and navigating divorce.     Lisa brings her wealth of knowledge and experience to the table, offering practical advice and valuable insights for those who are considering marriage, going through a separation, or managing co-parenting responsibilities.    Throughout the conversation, we explore the intricacies of prenuptial agreements, highlighting their importance in fostering transparency and financial planning between partners. Lisa shares real-life examples of successful and unsuccessful prenup negotiations, providing a clear understanding of how to approach this sensitive subject.  Moving into the realm of divorce and co-parenting, Lisa discusses the critical factors in ensuring the well-being of children and maintaining effective communication between parents. She recommends useful tools like co-parenting apps and emphasizes the need for a support team, including therapists and financial advisors, to navigate the complexities of divorce.    Lisa also addresses the challenges of dealing with manipulative behavior, particularly from narcissistic individuals, and the importance of exposing dishonesty in court. Additionally, she offers strategies for handling interference from extended family members, ensuring that the child's best interests remain the focal point.    This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing the difficult dynamics of prenuptial agreements, divorce, or co-parenting. Lisa's expert guidance and compassionate approach provide a roadmap for managing these situations with clarity and confidence.    Key Points:    Prenuptial Agreements:  Acknowledge the financial partnership in marriage.  Helps avoid costly litigation in case of divorce.  Facilitates transparency and financial discussions.  Covers issues like separate property, inheritance, budgeting, and spousal support.    Navigating Divorce and Co-Parenting:  Importance of discussing children's needs and parenting arrangements.  Emphasizes the need for clear and concise communication.  Recommends co-parenting apps like Our Family Wizard for effective communication and coordination.  Highlights the significance of fostering a healthy relationship between children and both parents.  Addresses concerns about abusive or addicted parents and the need for supervised access when necessary.  Advises against unilateral decisions during litigation and stresses the importance of consulting a team of professionals, including therapists, financial advisors, and attorneys.    Dealing with Narcissistic Behavior:  Acknowledges the challenge of dealing with manipulative behavior in court.  Emphasizes the importance of exposing lies and maintaining credibility.  Suggests selecting an attorney who can effectively advocate against such behavior.    Handling Family Interference:  Advises taking control of situations where family members interfere.  Stresses the importance of maintaining boundaries and prioritizing the child's well-being.    Building a Support Team:  Recommends building a team of advisors to navigate divorce proceedings effectively.  Mentions organizations like Savvy Ladies and Family Legal Care for additional support.  Contact Information:    Lisa Zeiderman: https://lisazeiderman.com   SavvyLadies.org: https://www.savvyladies.org  

  This episode is your high conflict divorce survival guide. We are going to cover the steps you should take to help maintain your sanity and stamina needed to survive high conflict divorce process. On this episode, we talk with forensic psychotherapist, Micaela Van Dine, https://mvdpsychotherapy.com , who shares her professional insights and personal experiences related to high-conflict divorces in the courtroom. Do you have our Divorce Crash Course?? If you are navigating a high conflict divorce, this crash course will potentially help you save THOUSANDS of dollars.  Find it here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course As ALWAYS, this episode offers several action steps and practical advice, like:   -Maintaining silence amid provocation -Building a support system -Choosing the right legal and mental health professionals to guide you through the difficult process   One of the most helpful tools available to you is Our Family Wizard. Used in many high conflict cases, Our Family Wizard is our top recommendation for organizing communication between coparents. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck And don't forget about Soberlink! Soberlink to our go-to tool for those who suspect an alcohol issue during parenting times. Visit: http://www.soberlink.com/not to receive $50 off your device.   Hit play & feel a little less alone! Please reach out to us should you want more support!  

Listen to this episode BEFORE you go into mediation.  It IS possible to have a positive outcome from mediation, even if you feel like your soon to be ex spouse agree on NOTHING. And before we get into the nitty gritty: Do you have our Divorce Crash Course? It literally holds your hand through ALL major divorce decisions! Get it here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course  Here are 3 EXPERT tips, (from a mediator herself- Joy Rosenthal-https://www.joyrosenthal.com/), to help you reframe your mind before entering mediation: 1) You don't have to RESPECT your soon to be ex, but you still need to have some DIGNITY for them. In other words, treat them like a human who also has wants and needs (even if their wants and needs are questionable and they're acting like a total tool) 2)Start to think of the problem as something that's outside of you and your soon to be ex. Meaning, the issue is "who gets the kids this Christmas?" or "who gets the lake house?" or "who's going to get the collection of ketchup bottles?" (yes, that was an actual issue for one of Morgan's cases). The issue is not about YOU, and it's not about you soon to be ex, it's simply a "problem" that needs to be "solved". 3)Think about why you want what you say you want. This one is kinda about checking ego, and also just gaining some perspective on the situation.  It's important to keep in mind that everyone loses something in a divorce. You're not gonna come of this thing with EVERYTHING you want, it just doesn't work like that.  In fact, the old divorce joke goes, "if both parties are unhappy and feel they got cheated, then the attorneys did their job" I (Andrea) HATE that joke and it makes me want to scream, but that's the way it goes! And remember, mediation, divorce- all of this mess-is just going to be ONE event that happened in your life. It's not your life, you have a lot more life to live when this is all behind you.  Our Family Wizard is here to help you though your coparenting journey. Learn more about them here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Summer's almost here folks, and you know what that means...camps, vacations..and your divorce, oh my! Not to mention: the DREADED parenting agreements. One of Andrea's least favorite topics but something we HAVE to talk about. We talk about the significance of communication and flexibility in establishing summer parenting schedules, and the legal implications of these changes. We also dive into the complexities of co-parenting during summer, including summer camps, child support, and travel logistics.  In this episode you'll learn:  *The challenges of balancing work and children's needs during the summer, especially for working and single parents *Suggestions for getting help with childcare during the summer *The importance of creativity and flexibility *Examples of creative modifications to summer parenting schedules and the importance of communication between parents *Practical approaches to managing summer activities, like summer camps, co-parenting logistics, and managing expectation *Strategies for initiating conversations with co-parents about travel plans and managing summer camp choices. And friend that barely scratches this surface in this jam packed mini episode! Don't forget to check out the DCC, honey, you need this! : https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course And, go sign up for Our Family Wizard's free newsletter! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck And finally, join our private community! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity