The Gnar Couch Podcast

Holy shit. Welcome to episode 171 of the Gnar Couch Podshow, the very special “Revel Bikes hostage rescue operation,” a.k.a. the episode where every former industry bro, current stoke vampire, and accidental HR case decided to restart one of the most revered MTB bike brands and discuss it with us for some reason. Has your bike ever cost more than your car but handled like it was actually made out of expired condoms? Us too. That's why tonight we've packed your digital clown car with more mountain bike icons than a private equity firm's bankruptcy spreadsheet. (We say this in the most loving way, as you'll find out.) Cheef here, fresh off a Dairy Keen soft serve bender and contemplating my place in this late-stage capitalist hellscape we call mountain biking. Boston Rob's still dripping in dad rock and peanut butter cup stains, JP's been busy mansplaining Johnny Cash's genre to oblivion, and Jimmy's just out here rage-connecting all of us with big podcast stepdad energy. Chris Canfield is in studio, ready to pivot—literally, with his damn suspension kinematics and figuratively with his HR-compliant mustache. And, not to be outdone, we've dragged Adam “I just bought my own company back because fuck you, that's why” Miller, Mike “Too Steezy For Your Face” Giese, Deano the XC Nerd, whose med device stories will ensure you never trust French boobs or European healthcare again, and another round of your unhinged Oral Connections calls. Strap on a bib (or a thong, if that's your flavor), crack a Mezcal, and get ready for almost two hours of raw, unfiltered shit-talking about private equity stupidity, bike spec foreplay, soft serve-sized trauma, and what it actually feels like when your carbon dream bike files for Chapter 11 before being resurrected like the bicycle Jesus it actually is. We're more country than Austin, less country than Nashville, prouder than a Fox News viewer at a Willie Nelson concert, and about as reliable as a monkey with a PowerPoint deck. Listen, because we might actually answer a bike question, but mostly we'll just revel in Dad jokes, derailleur puns, and the existential dread of modern consumerism. Welcome, you sick bastards. Let's get seriously weird and weirdly serious together. Guest profiles: Revel Bikes Adam Miller Chris Canfield Mike Giese (steezygiese765) Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

You just stumbled onto the Gnar Couch Podshow—yes, “podshow,” because “podcast” is for people with functioning attention spans and fewer deeply repressed issues about outdoor furniture. We're the audio equivalent of finding a slightly wet couch at a trailhead: deeply unsettling, weirdly comfy, and probably hiding at least two species of insect (metaphorically). Our not-so-highly-trained panel dives straight into three pillars of modern mountain bike culture: (1) sending it big and eating it just as hard—broken bones, torn ACLs, and the never-ending pursuit of avoiding therapy bills by riding bikes off cliffs; (2) the sacred (and vaguely inappropriate) art of shuttling and cuddling, because real friendship is when you don't question how the couch got wet; and (3)the life of UCI racers Luke and Alex Mallen and the mainline reality check of working your ass off to chase down racing dreams while surviving on hand-me-down underwear and side-hustles aerating strangers' lawns. All delivered with enough self-loathing to fill a foam pit and enough edge to tear your shins up worse than cheap flat pedals. So while we're never going to be the podshow your mom wants to hear, we are the one you can't mention at work without getting a visit from HR. Grab the least-suspicious seat in the trailer, ignore the scent (just like we ignore the rules), and brace for the greatest self-sabotaging, semi-inspirational, off-the-rails mountain bike podshow to grace your undeserving ears. Welcome to Gnar Couch, where we race, we crash, and occasionally, we actually learn something—but only by accident.

Sweet Jesus riding a mini horse through a desert mesa of expired meat sticks, what a podshow we have for you this week. It's episode 169, which if you think about it, is just 100 positions away from being remotely impressive. Tonight, we're joined by the Queen of Dark Fest herself, Chelsea Kimball, a.k.a. Her Darkness. Boston Rob's explains how he falls asleep on the toilet, JP's dog is most likely the source of local cougar sightings, Jimmy's dad jokes prove to be the only funny part of the show again, and I (Cheef), diagnosed (by past cast members) narcissist, am mostly here to remind you how important I am. So kick back in your sweet recliner, dust the Dorito crumbs off your jorts, and get ready for 90 minutes of sometimes serious-sometimes stupid Rampage, Dark Fest, and freeride talk with Chelsea, life advice you should never take, pizza-eating tips, and the kind of banter that makes you regret learning English. Dark Fest, Rampage, hot laps, and hot garbage. We've got it all. If you want high-level, coherent mountain bike discourse, try whatever podcast Pinkbike produces. If you want to learn several ways to crash on back flips and how to properly urinate at social functions, you're in the right spot. Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, where the only thing gayer than the six guys in our show trailer is how much we fucking love you for listening. Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

Strap in, degenerates, because—holy shit—episode 168 of the Gnar Couch Podshow descends on your brain like a Raptor cranked to 11, meth in the tank, and some dude named Lars judging your court case from the witness stand while Kid Rock shotguns a Busch Light in the background. Have you ever mixed an unwashed pair of five-panels with Swedish thrash metal and a keen yearning to eat trail dust in Virgin, Utah, all while contemplating whether your bones have enough density to survive the next catastrophic OTB? No? Well, welcome to our support group. This episode, we've got Amelia Capuano in the mix—slapping more send than your mom's boyfriend does Dew out of your hands, and just as calculated about it. JP still can't tell the difference between Voltron, Power Rangers, and probably his own reflection, while Cheef's somewhere in a parking lot mourning his inability to clear a jump that only eight-year-olds and groms with fresh HU Bars can manage. Boston Rob's over here leaning into his final-form Jewfluencer, generational trauma, and all, channeling his father-in-law while rocking those glasses down his nose like he's one matzo short of a bar mitzvah. Is this intro going anywhere? Nope. Are you? Not if you're stuck in traffic, three accidents deep, hovering over your brake pedal, wondering if tonight is the night you finally call in to our show and forget the damn phone number again. We've got tales of dirt jumpers crumpling under childhood trauma, chocolate bars worth more than your last pay stub, and Jimmy Sniper explaining how to achieve pegatration at your local skatepark. So unclench, quit saying “keen” unless you want us to actually start using “chuffed” unironically, and let's get this parasocial fever dream rolling harder than Mark Cuban's hairless head at a Shark Tank reject afterparty. Let's go. Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

Buckle up, degenerates—this episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow is a full-throttle plunge into the chaos of what might've been the gayest TDS Enduro yet (their words, not ours… actually, no, definitely ours). Cheef, JP, Boston Rob, and Jimmy Sniper are back, joined by misfits like April Zastrow, Ryan Rodriguez, NRML Mountain Biker, Teddy Hayden, and the mysteriously moist Colon Bumb, to unpack a weekend of sketchy lines, worse decisions, and the kind of campfire games that could get you banned from most public lands. There's mud. There's mayhem. There's Jimmy's godforsaken toe again (still dominating IG for some reason). Expect carnage, broken breakfast promises, heckling, pissed-off land owners, chair tackles, and the kind of post-race storytelling that smells like beer farts and regret. It's raw, it's ridiculous, and it's very Gnar Couch. Press play or forever wonder what a gay TDS even means. Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

Welcome back to the Gnar Couch Podshow, where adult supervision is still just a rumor. This week, Chief, Boston Rob, and JP/Uncle Touche are joined by Ben Crockett—author, former editor of BMX Plus!, and full-time nostalgia dealer—for a full-throttle blast through the wild-ass chaos of growing up BMX, skating, and blowing stuff up in the 80s and 90s. Right out the gate, it's dick jokes and colonoscopy logistics, naturally followed by poop philosophy and tales of Sobe bottle gas bombs and Tannerite-fueled backyard science experiments. Just your typical Tuesday with the Gnar crew. Ben dives into stories from his BMX days—riding with legends at Woodward and Hoffman's Warehouse, risking life and limb (and film) just to maybe get one shot published. His new book Squeeze Light? Yeah, turns out 80% of it is straight from his childhood—complete with underground tunnels, Hell's Angels' kids, and two wheels as a one-way ticket to freedom. The crew reminisces about busted fingers, sketchy tricks, and getting bullied because you rolled up on a Mongoose instead of a GT. They long for the days when you could ride 20 miles without a phone, a helmet, or a damn care in the world—and maybe just a buck knife in your backpack to really confuse the other sixth graders. There's the usual blend of stupidity and soul: crass humor, inside jokes, emotional damage disguised as comedy, and the kind of real talk that hits somewhere between your funny bone and your trauma. Whether you were a bike shop rat, a skatepark kid, or just someone who once licked a 9V battery for fun, this episode's gonna hit home. Grab a drink, strap in, and prepare to laugh, wince, and wonder how you're still alive. It's a beautiful mix of mayhem, memories, and mildly inappropriate wisdom—only on the Gnar Couch Podshow. Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

Alright, strap in Gnards, ‘cause you're tuning into another idiotic episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow. Today, we're talking to “NRML MTB'er” — who, spoiler alert, is anything but normal. We've got Boston Rob, JP/Uncle Touche, Sebastian the wildcard guest, Chief, and Jimmy Sniper gearing up to take you on a deranged journey through mountain biking's less-traveled trails. After Rob morphs into his alter ego, DJ Fred when he plays our newest trap intro song—Canyon Kings—we talk collaborations with OnlyFans creators and reporter nerds going OTB on urban Frisco trails. NRML tells us about blasting bikes with every gun imaginable and we engage in some intense debates over which country deserves a mock nuclear winter. It's all the usual dumb humor with a side of stupid. Pack your sense of humor. Or don't, and cancel all of us. Whatever. We'll come back like cockroaches. Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

Strap in and hold on tight 'cause you're back with the Gnar Couch Podshow, the only show more unhinged than your grandma's teeth. This week, JP a.k.a. Uncle Touche, Boston Rob, Cheef, and Jimmy Sniper, are cranking one out with the Colorado Kid, a former engineer turned MTB jokester. We're kicking things off with a wild guess-who of the non-existent Russian hockey legend, Aleksander Rubonov, then veering straight into the absurdity of “front butts”—and yeah, it's exactly what it sounds like. Colorado Kid's here to spill the beans on ditching spreadsheets for spit-takes, proving life's too short for a real job. It's all unscripted, unhinged, and unbelievable. Let's get this dumpster fire burning! Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

After 10 long months of diaper blowouts and sleep deprivation, Cheef has returned from spawning his future giga-Chad son, and the Four Horsemen of the MTB Apocalypse are back to offend 90% of the MTB world while whispering sweet, honey-soaked nonsense into the ears of the remaining 10%. This week, Rampage rider and all-around dirt wizard Luke Whitlock joins the shitshow to talk about carving out unique trails, sending it at Rampage, harnessing the power of low-voltage electricity, and balancing it all with his strong Christian faith (which we definitely need more of around here, especially Rob). On a serious note, our friend Kevin Boyer—TRP Brakes' US OE Sales Manager and certified badass—was in a horrific snowboarding accident on March 7th, leaving him with no feeling or movement in his lower legs. A GoFundMe has been set up to help with his medical bills, rehab, home and vehicle modifications, and living expenses during his recovery. If you can donate, PLEASE do—it's the least we can do for a guy who's done so much for the MTB community. On a much less serious note, we discuss the deeply troubling rise of bike parks closing in favor of pickleball courts, and the possible impact this will have on JP's life as a GILF hunter. Plus, we dive into way more dumb shit, including but not limited to: country-rap fusion, BDSM uses for dropper posts, and another Baiku truth bomb from Jimmy. Tune in, or don't—we're still gonna do this either way. Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

Boy, oh boy. What a great mountain bike podcast we have for you this week. We discuss everything you need to know about buying your next bike, including: Rob's shitgasm, a very strange phenomenon where Boston Rob tried to push out a fart when he was 12 and ended up also having his first orgasm, Cheef's closeted desire to be a gay lumberjack (according to the listeners), JP's frustration with cuntstomer service nowadays, a new bit that we can't do right because Cheef didn't explain it very well, and Jimmy's baiku. 

In this episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow, hosts Chief, JP/Uncle Touche, Boston Rob, and Jimmy Sniper are joined by renowned bike designer Chris Canfield. We dive into Chris's extensive experience and involvement with multiple bike brands, including Revel, Canfield, Flow Bikes, and his new venture, Vampire. Chris shares his excitement about his cutting-edge new bikes that are designed to have multiple rear travel settings on one frame. The conversation covers the technical intricacies of various bike suspension designs, the importance of on-site quality control in Taiwan, and the skills required for precise hand-welding in bike manufacturing. Chris also discusses the adaptability of bike designs, from narrow pedals for rocky terrains to customizable features like the "flip chip" for MX or full 29 configurations. After more than an hour of actually talking about bikes, the crew returns to its regularly scheduled programming of  nonsensical topics, vampire myths, and stories of uninvited basement possums.  Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

Welcome back to the greatest MTB podcast on earth, the Gnar Couch Podshow. It's been six long months since Cheef's baby was bornt, and now he's ready to neglect his family again to head up this idiotic mess. In this episode, your favorite mediocre mountain bikers who never talk about mountain biking--Jimmy Sniper, Cheef, Boston Rob, and JP/Uncle Touche--drag you through a mess of nonsense, including discussions about front boofing ZYN and previously unconsidered places to stash bike tools, Cheef's encounters with a bug-eyed, big-headed kid named Nigel, Rob (who is Jewish) dropping his kids off at something he calls "Jew Camp," Cheef's caffeine-induced high blood pressure, and Rob's Creed tribute to the show. We've hardly been riding bikes, so we hardly talk about them. The Oral Connections Line is hot with callers this week, including Reamo Piehole, Dean the XC Nerd, WienerMaster, and more, all of whom add to the spirit of the show with intelligent and interesting content. We can't leave out the heartfelt thanks to our Patreon supporters because, let's face it, you people bankroll this circus. Help us pay for the few things we need to keep this running for as low as $4.20/month. Big ups to Bliz Eyewear for being down since nearly day one. Save 30% using the code "sponchesmom" at checkout.  

Brace yourselves for what might just be the greatest mountain bike audio explosion your ears have ever experienced. Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow—not just your average podcast, but a podshow, which cranks up the gnar factor to epic proportions. It only makes sense that this will be the best thing you'll listen to, possibly ever. We've rolled out the questionably stained red carpet for an event Lance Canfield himself would dub a "high-brow" affair. (Long-time listeners will know just how much esteem he holds for our little broadcast.) Join the stars of the TDS Enduro race—legends like Mark Weir, Cam McCaul, NormalMTBer, Ryan Beamish, Colon Bumb, Nick Dru, Calirado Kid, and many more as we dive into tales of hurling bags of gasoline into campfires, tackling women who ask for it, and the symbiosis of man, mushroom, and mastiff. Get the gritty details of getting knocked out in good-natured slap contests, racing drunk, and the fine art of lurking—err, uh "camping" near showers—all while you slave away as an underappreciated drone in your place of employment...or listen with the family...or however you pump this sonic excellence into your ear holes. As if that isn't enough, an Aussie hits up the oral connections line, randomly blurting out syllables we can't really understand, but we really like, we think. Deano the XC Nerd educates all of us. And we briefly discuss the soothing scents of well-used saddles, as prompted by Slick Honey Soaked Cougar. Finally, Jimmy's Baiku inspires another nickname for the Jewish Gangster. Join our Patreon for as little as $4.20/month. Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 Eating chia seeds for smooth shitting experience. 10:20 Want a cool nickname, tired of this. 13:14 Fun talk about sniffing bike saddles. 17:41 Angus lost big, Deano's video rocks. 23:34 Freaking pumped for spirit awards, hanging with legends. 32:00 Good fucking time, Mark picked me. Spirit award kicks ass. 37:26 Screaming person turns out to be influencer. 42:15 Banquet Boss Eric's wild shroom trip moment with a dog. 46:20 Reminiscing about TDS 52:32 Stoked to do cool shit with great friends. 58:57 Different people, but all good folks. Interesting. 01:00:11 Picking eternal friends in a hilarious game. 01:09:27 Excited for next year, funny racing mishap. 01:13:26 "Got this fucking awesome jersey, dude!" 01:18:48 Connecting with the fam, bullshitting and bonding. 01:21:57 He did a fucking awesome job, thank you! 01:28:29 Awesome brakes, sweet discounts, cool nerdy stuff! 01:34:06 Regular listener gets a taste of mountain biking. 01:41:13 Tried to protect his egghead during fight. 01:45:55 Join our fucking Patreon and donate. 01:49:33 No more blood in the bathtub; it's aired out. Put the damn dog in the van.

Half the crew is off to TDS Enduro in California, so we're droppin' a few old, crusty episodes this week. Specifically, the ones just prior to and the cause of our "cancellation" by "people we don't know." This week, we're selling a fictional product called "Blackfist." Actually, Black Fist is real. You can find it pretty much anywhere porn is available, but our product isn't exactly what you think. We journey into the wild craftsmanship of top caps by Dark Bike Co., something so finely made you'd swear it was forged in the fires of Mordor. Next, we're talking fingering strategies for those with glamour nails, and yes, a totally plausible business venture about turning semen into a snortable party favor. Hi Shark Tank. Expect to get advice that's as useful as a downhill bike in Bentonville, updates on Gnard Fest 2023 that are more anticipated than a Trailer Park Boys reunion special, and giveaways that might just make you feel like you've won a Golden Dicket to Willy Wanker's Chocolate Starfish Factory. So, plug in, gather the family around the radio, and let's crank this together. It's going to be more fun than watching lesbian cat moms react/utilize to cucumbers on YouTube/OnlyFans.  Join our Patreon for as little as $4.20/month. Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co.

It's official. We live in a trailer. And that trailer needs a name. Thanks to you, our listeners, for the most appropriate and kind names for our rickety-ass trailer studio. Your great suggestions, like "Cum Bucket" and "Bussy Massage Clinic" were much appreciated. That's right, we've got zero chill and a fucked-up funny bone. Rob and JP are preparing for their TDS trip with special correspondent Puto. If they stay sober enough, maybe we'll have some interviews and social media content for you. Eddie Pliers calls in three times with insightful words of wisdom as he flees Joe Biden's Pittsburgh visit. We have no idea what the fuck he's talking about, but it might involve Boston Rob running for president and having sex with JP.  Rob considers running for president (spoiler: world's fucked if that happens). Trash-talked politics with dick jokes sprinkled in—because sophistication is overrated. We also probe JP trying to figure out if he's a hipster because of his mustache. Make sure you blast this glorious shitshow in front of your HR director She'll no doubt love it. Flip on, flip off, tune in. Fuck it, let's roll. Join our Patreon for as little as $4.20/month. Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co.

Gnar Couch Podshow 157 is somewhere between our best and 157th worst show. Cumb with us as we discuss a plethora of important topics and sometimes talk about mountain biking to bore you. We've dedicated ourselves to living our brand as we prepare to move the studio from Cheef's apartment, where his gay neighbor (geighbor, as it is) stomps around like Shrek all night, to JP's trailer. We're looking for a wrap sponsor so we can yank the thing around with Rob's Taco podcasting our high-brow humor in quaint bike towns across America. Boston Rob is now lusting for sponsors like a teenager with his first Playboy. Wanna give us money? Hit him up. Or just check us out on Patreon. We take money any way we can get it. That's probably why JP has a realistic sex doll named Miguel squatting in the back of his van. He estimates Miguel's weight at 150 pounds, 130 of which is most likely peen, according to Eddie Pliers, a long-time listener. Other topics include self-anointing elk who piss all over themselves to attract a mate. Give it a try if you're having trouble getting laid. We also go in depth on whether or not it's possible to die choking on semen. (Guess what? It is, and it's reportedly happened.) And, since our tangents are about as stable as a unicycle on a tightrope, JP and Cheef randomly spend about five minutes trying to convince JP and Jimmy to actually start watching Trailer Park Boys. So, pour yourself a bag of paint and prepare to breathe deep because this is another nonsensical shitshow you'll want to soon forget. Join our Patreon for as little as $4.20/month. Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 Oklahoma Blood: Stompin' Nachos. 11:09 Can you die from swallowing semen? 17:23 Cheef's loud geighbor. 21:40 He died at the Maverick, I think. 26:04 Remo Piehole and ninjitsjew 31:03 Biology with Deano the XC Nerd 37:39 Great collab idea 42:39 Miguel, JPs 150-pound sex doll 50:00 Queuing with the boomers 55:13 Rob wants more sponsors for the show  01:00:28 Our new studio is a trailer 01:07:29 More trailer talk 01:10:13 Baiku and Bliz Eyewear 01:13:50 Buy from thelostco 01:19:59 Join our Patreon 01:25:23 Good bye

Hey, bumb-lookers and therapy-needers, welcome to the unsanitized playground of banter we call the Gnar Couch Podshow, episode 156. We start this clusterfuck with Cheef using airtime to try to sell his bike. Classy. Paying homage to true courage, we hear from Ryan Beamish and thefund.org, an organization that helps connect veterans with mountain biking and cares for our nation's critically wounded, ill, and injured service members, veterans, and military families. Hear about their match campaign and all the cool shit they do for veterans. Meanwhile, Boston Rob's flat (or fat?) feet keep him grounded, but his dreams still soar...kind of. Get the lowdown on our spirited escapades at TDS, where the shenanigans are as plentiful as the dust clouds. Beamish, Boston Rob, JP, and Colon Bumb swap stories of mistaken identities, pizza mishaps, and why TDS is a Disneyland for dirtbags. Experience bonding over handlebars as we revel in the therapeutic rush of mountain biking with our service members. And strap on your Bliz sunglasses as Cheef offers you protection from...well, we're still trying to figure that out. We'll also slip into the DMs of man love with a look at Cheef's favorite male yoga influencer, Flow. Lastly, nestle into the fuzzy underbelly of mustaches and get philosophical over "pork swords." Confused? Good. You'll fit right in. Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 "Wanna buy my bike? No discount, just sniff the saddle." 05:48 Stache love 14:55 Ryan Beamish and The Semper Fi Fund 27:19 Ryan's Story 32:40 Rowdy veteran MTBers 35:24 TDS Enduro race vibes 38:38 12 stages over 2 days 48:41 Colon Bumb's TDS experience as a vet working with Semper Fi Fund 50:30 Semper Fi Fund helps vets 59:35 thefund.org 01:00:18 Get your squad together, raise some cash, and watch it double 01:15:37 Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul 01:21:00 Demon Core discussion 01:28:20 Sean Strickland vs Machine Gun Kelly 01:35:45 Great show

Yo, gnards! Get your bumbs ready because we're diving dick-deep into the tricky shitstorm of omnisexual allure, firing off opinions that are as frank as a nun in a brothel. We're tearing into the gnar-gnar world of slopestyle and the performance gap between male and female athletes. Are we stoked or just stoking the flame? Boston Rob experiences TP terror and JP and Cheef plot world domination with their own private army. We'll riff on everything from punk band pussies to why a Mormon militia might just be the shit. Would you give Dean's Keen Unclean Peen Sauce a try? The only correct answer is yes. Never heard of it? That's because you can't buy it and we just named it. Thanks to Deano the XC Nerd for sending us a bottle.  JP's angrometer spikes when we discuss the pretty much anything 2024 Crankworx Rotorua. His rant leaves him breathless and flustered, marking the first time this year he's actually gotten angrier than Jimmy. Low-flying Apache helicopters in Salt Lake Valley send spiraling into fever dream stories that are about as stable as Gary Busey on rollerblades. And if this show isn't dumb enough yet, we discuss ass-cleaning tech because that's just who we are and that's who we care about. Enjoy this riveting episode! Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 Dealing with fucking ant invasion on toilet. 08:32 Feeling like a total dirtbag uncle, damn. 15:08 Midlife crises at 30 years old. 21:06 Be careful how you expose your kids. 26:14 Confrontation. 28:16 Thickening mustache. 35:42 Sexuality is a fucking complex and diverse thing. 41:37 Confused and frustrated, ready for confrontation. 44:27 Playing brass instruments requires skill and regulation. 51:23 Crafted with fucking crazy exotic fucking ingredients. 59:57 Trains fucking echo through the goddamn gorge. 01:04:14 We wake up and get the hell out! 01:09:29 I'll achieve my goals. 01:16:31 Red Bull Rampage gives out top-notch support. 01:17:00 Sponsors pay for events? 01:22:22 Not whining, but grinding. Earned that mill, hustling, not bitching. Sponsored himself, conquered. 01:29:06 Get 30% off at enjoywinter.com 01:35:54 Toilets with expansive mirrors offer a memorable experience. 01:42:24 Those sellout companies like Nike and Red Bull actually hook their athletes up with sick shit, like hyperbaric chambers for recovery. 01:45:21 A diverse and colorful cast of characters.

It's time to corrupt your eardrums with another idiotic episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow – bringing you a symphony of chaos sure to alert your pen 15. Boston Rob, JP, Jimmy Sniper, and Cheef here with the usual band of Zoom room rejects. Buckle the fuck up for episode 154. It's a clusterfuck of cosmic proportions. We deep dive into the gibberish goldmine that is speaking in tongues and explore our listeners' desires for Cheef's clappin' cheeks. But that's not all. Deano the XC Nerd sends in a bottle of his homemade hot sauces. Does it include botulism? No one has died yet, but that could change. We also discuss one of the seven books he's written. He also calls in and drops knowledge on the Oral Connections line. We'd pay him since he gives us 90% of our content, but we don't make any money. Why the hell is a guy this smart listening anyway? Rob spends the weekend with pro riders, but can't remember their names until it's time to tag them in his influencery Instagram reels, and Jimmy lays down a triple shot of baikus. So, stay tuned, you beautiful bastards, ‘cause this episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow makes about as much sense as a homeless real estate agent. Let's get fucky. Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 Cuntry intro. 06:53 Broke in Utah, but radio rich. 11:36 Stand up panel with brutal, funny acts. 21:42 Remo's update. 26:49 F**king tiny doses can kill a human. Damn. 28:07 How the fuck should I know how long it takes to print a trillion dollars? I'm just out here, trying to send butt pics and survive. 39:03 Loved gravel, but still gotta impress Rob. 44:21 Deano's book. 50:25 Degrowth capitalism conspiracy tease. 53:00 What is Kurtis Downs' name? 59:17 Shitty group chats with my southern friends. 01:06:12 GoPro interview idea for Eric. 01:10:21 Get badass shades from Bliz Eyewear. 01:14:33 Thanks to Mike Randall at The Lost Co. 01:18:53 Talking in tongues isn't real. 01:29:10 Rob's campsite is an outdoor hotel room. 01:32:54 Zoom room nonsense is the best way to end the show.

Back in the fall we were "hacked" by people "we don't know" and we lost a bunch of episodes. Well, we never actually lost the episodes. We still have every one, and we'll periodically post them from time to time. Here's the episode with R-Dog. It was awesome, unlike the "unknowns" who "hacked" us. Prepare your fragile sensibilities because we've got special guest Ryan "R-Dog" Howard unleashing unfiltered truths and tossing out sass like dirty laundry in the dorm. We'll kick things off with a “heartwarming” stroll down cinematic memory lane discussing "Captain Phillips," only to be hijacked by Wilson—yeah, a bloody volleyball steals the show. Naked chaos? Got it. Weiner jokes? Coming at you every damn week. Our Zoom room is no holy sanctuary; it's more an unhinged, unsolicited nude-fest with a side of group showers. It's not weird; it's bonding, right? Or perhaps just a reminder that you should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque. We're serving up our dysfunctional family dinner chat on beans, barbecues, and the quest for the Big O—because why the hell not blend food and sex in a chaotic orgy of conversation? Capitalism, eat your heart out; we're here peddling our soul (and merch) at the gnarcouch.com bazaar, shilling for your dollars with stickers, shirts, and free-fender fantasies. Between the technical glitches and tales of mountain biking majesty—with R-Dog dishing on the sanctity of not giving a rat's ass about competition—we keep it as real as a kick to the shins. Speaking of reality checks, we've got group therapy sessions for past Rampage and Joyride atrocities and a shared moment of shame for anyone who ever thought big bike parks could buy happiness. And because we're generous like that, we'll school you in the ways of the Gnar Couch skater, critique infield influencers, and thrill you with accounts of R-Dog's infamous leg rehab saga—all while never deviating from our signature style: sarcasm so thick you could spread it on toast. Finally, get ready for a sugar high of caffeine-fueled rants and the deep philosophical musings of whether "Anal and the Dishes" is a provocative track or the story of our lives. So, spike your helmets, crack open a cold one and join us for the descent into madness—Gnar Couch style. Let's roll out this shitshow!

Ah, the moment you've all been pretending to wait for—Gnar Couch Podshow Episode 153 is dropping, and it's about as stable as a two-legged chair tied to a downcountry bike. Here we are, the dynamic trio: Boston Rob fixing to drop truth bombs like they're going out of style; JP, living on the fringe of mildly offensive; and Cheef, who thinks he's a life coach with his chia seed advice and political ranting. Let's whisk away to Saudi Arabia where, according to us, they're blending mountain biking with terrorism.  We give Pinkbike some chatter, then instantly regret it. From there, it's tales from Wyoming bars, the delicate intricacies of workplace hygiene, and of course, the classic 'networking' that happens at the Wyoming dive bars. We're Renaissance men, really. Now, if you like your podcasts like a well-oiled machine, you're shit out of luck. Speaking of shits, it's a topic that bubbles up, much to the chagrin of Cheef. Remember, if you're at all offended, it's not us, it's you.  Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 Tune your car properly to avoid backfiring. 07:34 Confusing AF convo, badass Jimmy impression though. 12:10 Jimmy thinks he hears voices, obsesses about gunshots. 21:31 Fazari's comment ignites shitstorm on biking site. 26:24 Canyon Bicycles paid a shitload to rebrand. 32:55 Analyzed Instagram page, found mostly real followers. 39:16 Podcast host fucking loves talking about cholera. 42:03 I'm in the damn hospital, and shit's happening. 47:25 Hate the anti-college bullshit. Blue-collar pride! 53:42 Spy pics of Ryan Rodriguez on new e-bike, bitches! 58:20 Wannabe Phil Mickelson raking in millions, no sweat. 01:02:20 Opposing sports funding, criticizing governments worldwide. Deal? 01:12:38 Let's fucking start the free music ride. 01:18:34 Join for as low as $4.20/month. Be a nardlet with us, damn it! 01:21:53 Coffee shop mix-up: almost got effed over.

Ah, here we go again, another awe-inspiring episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow with Cheef, JP, Jimmy Sniper, and Boston Rob (especially) coming at you like a fart in a fan factory.  Get ready to be dazzled by our special guests: the ever-so-famous John Kilo, whose exploits in the adult industry are as chilling as the mountain air—talk about frostbite on your junk. And let's not forget Deano the XC Nerd, who's here to inject a brain cell or two into this intellectual abyss we lovingly call our show. We'll be waxing poetic about all the juicy bits, from botulism (because why not start with a light topic like deadly toxins?) to the intricacies of indoor cycling and outdoor... other activities. Plus, we'll debate the mighty calzone and how it might just be the one true love you never knew you needed. Spoiler alert: It needs you too, and yes, there's a proper way to show it your affection. What's that? You want to hear more about the award-winning performances? Please, hold your applause—or don't, because clearly, what this audio dumpster fire needs is more ego. John Kilo's mountain menage a trois tale will have you shaking—either from laughter or secondhand hypothermia, take your pick. Oh, but let's not skimp on the important discussions, like deciphering the appropriate thickness of your bike's shock for that super-calculated cushioning and just how ‘breathtaking' those Bliz sunglasses are! They'll shield your eyes from the sheer brilliance of our content. Enter discount code I-Can't-Believe-This-Is-A-Thing for a whopping sense of regret at checkout. Let's not forget, we're also here to enlighten you with the most scholarly debate—can you truly comprehend the sensual potential of Taco Bell's menu, or have you been too vanilla this whole time? Your third eye is about to open, folks. And of course, we've got John Kilo's not-safe-for-anywhere vids. Nothing screams high-brow humor like creating a cumlinary masterpiece with a Chalupa Supreme. It's art, people. Look it up. Stick around as we lovingly paw through each other's personal lives with all the care of a bull in a china shop and reminisce about the innocent days of our first dial-up connections—because anyone who's anybody has a tech-angst backstory. So, slap on your sexiest grin and get ready for a pedantic parade of perverse punditry. It's Gnar Couch Podshow episode 152, 'cause, let's face it, what else have you got to do? Listen in, or don't—whatever. But really, do. It's going to be fucking spectacular...ly average. Here we go! Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 Interesting lead-in, bullshit broadcasting, fuck sponsorship, oversized shirt. 10:48 Homemade hot sauce can fucking cause botulism. 14:45 Asking for a fucking stiffer fork spring. 21:49 Mike was a bike badass, check losco.com. Cool shit. 26:53 She thought he was normal but fucking out there. 32:22 Exclusive porn environment: where fucking badly excels. 36:12 I maintain a versatile and fucking surprising persona. 42:16 "Reviewing Taco Bell's Meatless Fucking Menu Items" 46:10 Earning cash from Pornhub and OnlyFans subscriptions. 54:52 The first fleshlight is a jumbo water trick snake available on Amazon.com 1229. It's filled with sparkle streamers and resembles a bunch of flaccid dicks in the images. It measures two inches wide and five inches tall—a perfect size. 59:04 Reaching out for condom sponsor, food fucking. 01:04:50 Fucking love it, gotta fucking talk about it. 01:09:32 Differences in tortillas lead to risky dick jokes. 01:12:46 Hesitant to try raw meat in videos. 01:21:05 Sex work pressure to fuck a fan. 01:25:23 Fucking tedious, switching camera angles mid-sex. 01:30:53 Jimmy has fucking blizz on his goddamn face. 01:35:53 Biking, Boston, and a question for John. 01:45:27 We have a damn Patreon. Give us your fucking money if you want. We need it to cover our damn server costs and subscriptions. It's hard as hell to make this show with our busy schedules, so we need that shit to make things easier. 01:47:07 Contribute as little as $4.20 monthly!

Gear up, you beautiful bastards, it's time to crank your knobs for another episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow. Your relentless hosts Boston Rob, JP, Jimmy Sniper, and Cheef are back, serving up a cocktail of raw talk and shameless shenanigans. We're embracing the nostalgia like a drunk hug at a high school reunion discussing Creed, Limp Bizkit, and Jimmy's CD changer. Rob unveils a raunchy confession that's so outrageously awkward, his wife practically shoved him to the mic to confess his not-so-solo bathroom love session. We hated every second of it, and even the neighbors need therapy now. In this madhouse, tech fails like a noob on a black diamond as we wrestle with gremlins to bring Rob's camp vids back from the dead. Jimmy Sniper channels his inner volcano, erupting anger-fueled insights while JP pre-games for a ski bike race that's sure to grind participants into the snowy Colorado dirt. Don't think we forgot about the legends, Eddie Pliers and Wiener Master, those Zoom room anarchists, providing mayhem and eye-sores for days. And let's give it up for Cheef, our resident high priest of deal-finding at thelostco.com, because supporting the tribe is what keeps us savage. Hold on to your handlebars, we're taking a detour through Chicago's mean streets with Boston Rob and Cheef, sharing tales of near-misses and dodged bullets that'll make your helmet spin. But here's where we get real, where we switch gears from zero fucks given to at least some—Colon Bumb's heartfelt message cuts through the noise and reminds us that amidst the ass-slapping, we're all part of something bigger, shining a spotlight on the camaraderie that makes our community truly one-of-a-kind. After group hugging from behind, we debate echidnas with Deano the XC Nerd, because clearly, our expertise knows no bounds. Except pronunciation, which we happily slaughter like a mud-caked derailleur. So, if you're ready for an earful of unfiltered, unabashed, and unabridged glory, you've come to the right place. Crank the volume, throw caution to the wind, and let the Gnar Couch Podshow take you on a ride that's more unhinged than a broken bike chain on a downhill sprint. Now hit play, and let's get this motherfucker rolling. Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 Song meaning: controlling through fucking manipulation and money. 04:45 Limp Bizkit: Nostalgic as f*ck, but only briefly. 10:05 Can't fucking make it, prepping for ski bike race. 10:53 Ski biking: no brakes, intense, rowdy fun. 16:03 Holoprozencephaly: fucked up lack of skull symmetry. 20:18 F*** yeah, gonna make that bike rip! Sent the message, waiting for the stuff. Will update on how it rides. Happy to have him on board. Check out Losco.com, it's legit as f***! 20:44 Awesome fucking videos, hilarious, check out thelostco.com. 24:35 Can't fucking explain how that show rocks. 29:37 A fucking honest concept, Gnar Couch unites bad-ass bikers. 30:56 Podcast community fucking rocks, connecting through support. 33:33 Went to O'Shucks, with Puto and Uncle Tuche. Big f***in' family, heartfelt sh*t. Thanks. 39:43 Dino's embarrassing act and John's food fuckery. 40:35 Rob jerks it in the bathroom after shitting. 47:17 New fucking Bliz available at enjoywinter.com, 30% off. 49:07 Teacher makes $1.2 million on OnlyFans 52:02 Cuck Rogers, Colin Bum, Wienermaster, and the XC nerd. Unmute! 55:31 Recapping: Funny ass stories, sponsorship win, optimistic shit. 58:04 Sorry, I cannot fulfill that request.

Alright, you gnarly bastards, strap the fuck in for a no-holds-barred episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow where shit gets real and the laughs are fucking ruthless. I'm Cheef, throwing you into the mix with my crew of mayhem-makers JP, Jimmy Sniper, and Boston Rob. Today, we're welcoming Tony Olmstead, a mountain bike photography badass with a penchant for adventure and a middle finger up to the corporate grind. Let's rip into this beast with a bitchin' debate about those goddamn elusive Denver mountain views, then dive balls-deep into the batshit origin story of Tony's growing media empire. Expect some wise-assery and the kind of truth bombs that'll make your grandma clutch her pearls. But that's just scratching the surface. We're tearing up the road with some travel talk that throws a dirty curveball at social media influencers and their bullshit followings. Trust us, it's a wild fucking ride. Tony's laying it all out there, from burning bike rubber across the nation to dodging the predictable paths everyone else seems to jerk off to. Cheef might toss some sideways path to fame, but Tony ain't buying that shit—his ride, his rules. And for dessert, we serve up a twisted conversation that'll make the squares squirm—think grown-ass people shitting in diapers and us letting loose a storm of piss-taking mockery. It's as messed up as it sounds, and just another Thursday for us. Get ready for a dose of rage from Jimmy's corner, a borderline scandalous Ash Wednesday fuck-up from JP, and Boston Rob battling the beast of a fart that could end civilization as we know it. It's all going down right here, on the most unapologetic, laugh-your-fucking-ass-off episode 150 that we've ever dropped. So slap on those headphones, carve out a trail, and let's fucking send it! Follow us on Instagram! Check out our store! Check out past shows with Reece Wallace,  Ryan "R-Dog" Howard and Lew Buchanan. Have a suggestion for a guest? Email us at gnarcouch@gmail.com. Check out The Lost Co for all your bike parts and suspension needs. And give The Dark Bike Co. a look for custom top caps.  00:00 Weird fucking effects on voices, not for everyone. 11:20 Biker outruns cop with kickstand's sneaky help. 15:45 Freaking mysterious calls won't leave me alone. 20:48 Man hilariously recalls Mr. Deeds shower scene. 26:55 He's a fucking awesome photographer and biker. 32:26 Didn't want to fucking take photos, loved biking. 33:44 Ditched Nikon for writing, fuckin' miss photography. 44:10 I want to fucking travel but don't know shit about the process. 47:09 Took the damn northern route, sick of it. 52:26 Started backpacking in Europe, fell in love. 59:33 Hats sold tonight, fucking ridiculous fork deals. 01:04:26 Selling sex dolls and weed at airports. 01:07:43 Reactor series makes fucking shit chemical product. 01:17:55 Feeling fucking extreme, maybe I'm Republican now. Seeing a fucking weird furry in a full leather dog mask. Wanna fucking take out my van and smash it. 01:19:11 Played damn house as a kid, now pissed. 01:24:41 Grown-ups rubbed with oil like babies, absurd. 01:34:33 Get 30% off badass shades with code "sponschesmom" at Enjoywinter.com. Kick ass and save some damn money! 01:38:53 Audience takes the fucking mic, show's ending. 01:43:22 Big fucking thanks to all our Patreon supporters! 01:47:14 Gnar Couch is the baddest, fuckin' mountain to ground.

**[Explicit Content Warning]** What's up, all you beautiful degenerates? Buckle the fuck up, because you're about to plug into the Gnar Couch Podshow, Episode 149, and shit's about to get real. I'm your producer Boston Rob, flanked by the hosts JP and Cheef, with Ryan Rodriguez dropping in and our random-ass caller spicing up the mix. We're kicking off this circus by ripping fanny packs a new asshole and roasting those gun-toting stereotypes you all love to hate. JP and Cheef are gonna take you down a bullet-riddled memory lane of gun range mayhem and accidental lead cocktails from southern Utah. But this ain't just gunpowder and giggles—hold onto your internal organs because JP is recounting a nightmare that's every bit as fucked as waking up in a tub of ice at an airport. And if that's not twisted enough, Ryan's gonna spill the beans on the epic clusterfuck that was Perry's Thai adventure, where spaghetti won over Thai food and Perry ended up KO'd on some dodgy-ass stairs. Meanwhile, we're dialing up the nostalgia with Rhino's 40th trip around the sun and debating the merits of investing in a tricked-out sex doll. Oh, and for those who've got more cash than sense, we're brainstorming deluxe JP's dog dolls with all the bells and farts—not even fucking around here. Between pedaling deals on Fox suspension parts from thelosco.com and bitching about unfulfilling bike part exchanges, Ryan's sharing how he turned his soul-sucking job at the Shell oil refinery into a tale of music and biking redemption. We'll also tackle the influencer cash grab—if you're a hot chick with an agent, you're probably making bank. We got stories of frame hook-ups, party plans, and wild-ass bike crashes that'll make your nuts climb into your throat. And because we're equal opportunity offenders, we'll debate the merits of fanny packs and debate the logistics of Ryan hauling inebriated Perry around like fucking Weekend at Bernie's. Plus, we'll ramble about everything from the brainlet aftermath of paint huffing to slapping our names on some sex doll prototypes because, apparently, we've got fans kinky enough to go there. Before we wrap this shitshow, expect a deep dive into the influencer's guide to making it (or faking it), a hotline to the mad deals at thelosco.com, and the tantalizing prospect of fucking with every normie's head by adding an "ass packer" to your gear. So crank up the volume until your speakers blow out, because Gnar Couch Podshow Episode 149 is the audio equivalent of a trainwreck on fire — in the best fucking way possible. Let's get this party started, motherfuckers!

We were super chuffed to have professional mountain biker Lew Buchanan on the show this week. Lew is well-known in both the mountain bike and sports world for being the first mountain biker with a corporate OnlyFans sponsorship. His decision to work with OnlyFans caused a massive controversy within the mountain bike world, mirroring that of motocross racer Logan Karnow. We asked him about the sponsorship, dealing with the backlash associated with it, and whether his life has improved since signing with the online content site. He also discussed the process of hitting the Battleship feature in Virgin, and of course, the controversy that came along with riding that. Lew also took questions from the audience and provided some insightful answers during our lightning round. We covered so many topics. You'll really have to listen because we can't cover them all in the show description. 

Honestly didn't talk about mountain biking much at all this show. Not upset about it. Boston Rob tells a couple of horrible stories, including one about farting "like a trumpet" in front of his wife. We also choose names for Rob's new dogs with the assistance of our excellent listeners and followers. Jimmy throws down an EPIC Baiku about bats, sucking, nocturnalism, and your mom. Deano the XC nerd drops more knowledge about bunnies being massacred so we can all have titanium collar bone plates. One caller makes a tough choice between Cheef and Jimmy.

We planned absolutely nothing for this broadcast and it shows. Prepare for epic tales of drinking and interdimensional puking, uses for discarded foreskins and our first-ever Gnard Bible study. Cheef and JP talk about learning back flips. Cheef has a run-in with a homeless person in his apartment building and attempts to make the entire staff of Best Buy feel like absolute shit.

We're super chuffed to be back after taking a holiday break. No guests tonight, but so much happened in the two weeks we took off, we have plenty to talk about. Jimmy has invented a new piece of exercise equipment call the kegelbell. It's honestly less stupid than most mountain bike training tools.  Rob and Cheef spent Christmas day together at Gape Bendley's house, where a toddler "walked into Rob's hand" and "knocked himself over." (According to Rob.) Deano the XC Nerd calls in to accuse Cheef of not washing his hands after he pees. (Accurate.) Cheef's wife poured salt all over his truck while running shuttles last week. And Rob makes a huge announcement...that Cheef was supposed to make. Love you all. HUUUUULLLOOOOO!

Content producer, pilot, and Rampage rider Reece Wallace joins the boys this week to talk about riding bikes, building a freeride compound at his house, flying planes, competing in Rampage, buying military helicopters and blasting CCR, making MTB videos that don't suck, and a guy named Tapeworm who looks like a skinnier DJ Brandt. Rob got high last weekend while hanging out with a show listener and got all sentimental, a feeling that carried through right up 'til the end of the show. JP goes off on ski trikes, possibly kicking off "Grinds My Gears" ripoff segment. 

JP couldn't make the show tonight because he was possibly having a 3-way with two teachers named Connie and Tammy in Vegas last night. What actually happened? No one knows, but JP ended up in his underwear with no recollection of the night, a bunch of brusies on his ass, dirt all over his hands, and a lump on his head. The last thing he remembered was giving a guy in a pink jacket and sunglasses 20 bucks to gamble for him. Cheef poses an interesting hypothesis, positing that men have more elastic bumbs than women. Also, a bunch of generic, wacky, morning show features make this our 69th best show ever. 

Rob came through and we now have a new second-best guest ever. (No one will ever top John Kilo, the guy who has sex with food.) Tour de Gnar rider Sergi Massot jumps on and absolutely steals the show with great stories about riding in the Tour, renouncing his Spanish citizenship, and a rapid-fire Q & A session for the boys. We further discuss, with the AID of our followers and listeners, who hacked our podcast a couple of months ago. Jimmy tells us a story about questioning his sexuality after seeing two dudes holding hands.

The entire gang is back together after more than a month apart, and boy, is this show just great. As usual, any actual mountain bike talk is curbed for stuff way dumber. Rob makes his return by immediately shitting to kick off the show. We once again discuss the enigma that is Steven Seagal, then read replies to the Question of the Week, which most listeners failed to follow directions on. Our MayMayTricks page has been res-erected, so feel free to send us photos. Jimmy may have wanted to harm a guy in a Camaro and we create a new radio genre called butthole rap. Credit for the Butthole song: Noah Davis

Welcumb back to the Gnar Couch Podshow, a private podcast dance for your ears. Rob is away at a Drag n' Farts concert, so Jimmy, Cheef, and JP do their best to run things in his absence. We, along with our Zoom participants, answer the pressing questions like, "When does the cumb becumb gay?" Jimmy explains why he's slurping down wet chia seeds, which are then compared to cumb. We also discuss "long hamburgers." The Bumb Strip has been cleared, much to our dismay, before the SLC mayoral election., but there are still plenty of homeless people shitting on the sidewalk and screaming obscenities to go around. And one more cumb topic: can you IV inject yourself with your own cumb? Eventually we talk about Lew Buchanan and express our opinions that everyone in the MTB world sucks. And kimchi is kumbchi, and it's good. 

If you're a man and you've ever considered waxing your taint to be accepted into a threesome, the first 20 minutes of this week's show are for you. Rob goes in-depth, uncovering the process and explaining the positions you'll assume should you choose to tear out your crotch shrubs. In today's educational segment, the boys discuss some biology. The pearl fish is a sneaky little devil that loves to make a home inside of a sea cucumber's ass, which coincidentally, also serves as its mouth. Learn something new and #TrustTheGnardScience in this fun segment perfect for the inquisitive mind. Cheef and JP make a $10 bet. Cheef says the next time it snows in the Wasatch Mountains, the upper Park City mountain trails will be closed for the season. JP disagrees. The other part of the bet was private, but we assure you someone will get violated as a result. 

Uncle Touchy is back and he has a LOT to say, most of which isn't even bike-related at all. Reamo Piehole calls in and we actually call him back this week. He tells us about his family and his trip to North Carolina. We try to talk about Rampage, but end up talking about Will Smith building an arboretum so he has trees to hide behind while Jada cucks him. The Rampage site is still there. If you wanna show everyone you can ride it, now is the time. No one will. Most people who comment about Rampage don't know what they're talking about. Some other Rampage stuff. Rob has a ticklish peen. New Gnar Couch home decor is in production now, so stop living, laughing, and loving, and get ready to Laugh, Fart, and Cum.

We're back after a week off to talk about Rampage for 30 seconds before we talk about Rob's sack sling. Realizing we're drifting way off course, we randomly decide to call Ryan Rodriguez, who is busy digging at Rampage. Ryno takes us deep into Rampage, telling us what the pros are up to, how they're approaching their lines, and what the vibes are like this year. Despite the fact we "suck at riding" and we're "misogynist Chads," you'll learn a hell of a lot about this year's Rampage when you plug us deep into your ear holes. Uncle Touchy has gone missing, most likely drunkenly lost in the desert with a bag full of firearms. Hopefully, we find him before next week. 

The Gnar Couch Podcast has returned after an involuntary hiatus due to being hacked and deleted. Cheef apologizes for himself and the crew to kick off the show. How the hack went down is explained. (Guess what? No one really cares and we're back, so the whole thing was pointless.) Cheef has to explain a joke to Rob. Still dumb. Still Awesome. Still Gnar Couch. 

Someone hacked our podcast host account last week after we posted our opinions on Rampage, which are definitely in favor of including female riders. Most simply put, we rebuked the idea that sexism and misogyny were the reasons women weren't included this year. We came to this conclusion based on insider information provided by both pro riders and our personal experiences freeriding in Virgin. As the week progressed, public interviews with the riders confirmed the information we were given. Someone took exception to our opinions, which, again, we based on information not yet available to the public, and deleted our entire podcast library.  Now, we're back, stronger than ever before. If you thought we were awful before, wait until you hear what we have planned for you now.

Another damn good show ruined by a terrible show. The crew discusses the band Ween. The boys incoherently break down the Red Bull Rampage lineup. Rob further explains life as an active Jewish synagogue member. Jimmy is keen on Dean's gangrene ween during the Baiku. The Zoomers suggest new nicknames for JP/Uncle Touchy. Rob's producer skills are called into question again when the Zoom room keeps randomly turning off and on and recording on its own. Support this stupidity on Patreon. Buy our cool fenders and Gnar Couch gear at gnarcouch.com. Get 30% off your performance eyewear with code "sponchesmom" at enjoywinter.com. Get your bike parts and accessories at thelostco.com. Get sick custom top caps at The Dark Bike Co.

The boys from Hill Awaits are on the show this week to tell a story about being poo-pranked by Graham Agassiz and recount the time a friendly hiking family took a dump on their step-up. Freeriders have been using the word "keen," which doesn't sit too well with anyone on the show, and the crew is fully chuffed to make fun of this trend. Jimmy Sniper tells dad jokes that are so bad the other cast members seriously consider kicking him off the show. Rampage probably gets made fun of again. Join some of the crew this Friday at Eagle Mountain Bike Park for a dig and ride from 4 to 8 pm! Support this stupidity on Patreon. Buy our cool fenders and Gnar Couch gear at gnarcouch.com. Get 30% off your performance eyewear with code "sponchesmom" at enjoywinter.com. Get your bike parts and accessories at thelostco.com. Get sick custom top caps at The Dark Bike Co.

The legendary Ryan "R-Dog" Howard joins the show tonight to talk about all things Ride or Die. The boys loved the Roadkills video. At a couple points, as Cheef is talking about it, it seems he may want to have sex with it. If you haven't seen it yet, check it out. It's one of the best, most pure MTB videos of the past decade. R-Dog deals with rascally listener/follower questions, and talks about his life as a pro and his favorite spots to ride, along with his recent gnarly injury. As soon as he exits, the show digresses into its typical content with a discussion about a woman who hid a gun in her body fat at a White Sox game. Someone gets mad at one of Jimmy's memes. We also have new shirts and we're eliminating shipping costs on our fenders. Support this stupidity on Patreon. Buy our cool fenders and Gnar Couch gear at gnarcouch.com. Get 30% off your performance eyewear with code "sponchesmom" at enjoywinter.com. Get your bike parts and accessories at thelostco.com. Get sick custom top caps at The Dark Bike Co.

We begin this week by stealing some other creator's content and not attributing it. (It was Spencer Goldman.) Then big girls become a discussion, with Cheef saying he's never been with one. After that, at some point, we talk about how other people have and do cooler things than you, no matter what the topic is. JP ran over another scooter downtown, officially making him a serial scooter killer. A bunch of random-ass stuff is tossed in with no direction, including incoherent conversations about mullet bikes, Rampage, and fingerblast bus trips.  Support this stupidity on Patreon. Buy our cool fenders and Gnar Couch gear at gnarcouch.com. Get 30% off your performance eyewear with code "sponchesmom" at enjoywinter.com. Get your bike parts and accessories at thelostco.com. Get sick custom top caps at The Dark Bike Co.

JP takes your questions during another "Ask the Pro Segment.," covering important topics such as learning manuals, how to properly seat two men on motorcycles, saddles of the pros, and familial love. The boys reenact the entirety of Boondock Saints after Jimmy finally watches it. Anger is released when the boys talk about all the things wrong with Rampage and the general lameness of bike parks. Jimmy relays a hilarious story about Steven Seagal shitting himself. Lots of bike talk as the boys are all back together again. Support this stupidity on Patreon. Buy our cool fenders and Gnar Couch gear at gnarcouch.com. Get 30% off your performance eyewear with code "sponchesmom" at enjoywinter.com. Get your bike parts and accessories at thelostco.com. Get sick custom top caps at The Dark Bike Co.

Welcome, gnarly listeners, to another radical episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow. We could of booked  a cool guest or something, but our own fearless leader didn't even show up tonight. In his absence, we decided to discuss important, relevant topics such as sisters tricking moms into making weed cakes, inadequate bathroom cleanliness and Gay Ant Man. Support this stupidity on Patreon. Buy our cool fenders and Gnar Couch gear at gnarcouch.com. Get 30% off your performance eyewear with code "sponchesmom" at enjoywinter.com. Get your bike parts and accessories at thelostco.com.

Gnard Fest is right around the corner and we have a ton of prizes and fun for you coming up at Trestle Bike Park August 3-7. Discount tickets and lodging are available in our Instagram stories. We unbox some sick Gnard Fest prizes from Dark Bike Co. Rob finds a story on Vice about fingerblasting with acrylic nails. Cheef attempts to read it without laughing, and the topic takes up most of the show's time. Hint: perpendicular doesn't work. Jimmy's Baiku references a true story about a guy snorting powdered cum and getting syphilis and herpes. Support this stupidity on Patreon. Buy our cool fenders and Gnar Couch gear at gnarcouch.com. Get 30% off your performance eyewear with code "sponchesmom" at enjoywinter.com. Get your bike parts and accessories at thelostco.com.

 JP tells a story about hitting a deer on his motorcycle last weekend. Lots of talk about mountain bikes, including the claim that warm-ups are for pussies. Our followers answer the Question of the Week about fighting a moose or an entire colony of beavers. Reamo Piehole calls the Oral Connections Line to tell us about racing in the Topeka, Kansas Enduro before telling us about the dental work he had done with the Gnar Couch Race Dental Plan. Then he gets angry. Gnard Fest is right around the corner and we have a ton of prizes and fun for you coming up at Trestle Bike Park August 3-7. Discount tickets and lodging are available in our Instagram stories. Support this stupidity on Patreon. Buy our cool fenders and Gnar Couch gear at gnarcouch.com. Get 30% off your performance eyewear with code "sponchesmom" at enjoywinter.com. Get your bike parts and accessories at thelostco.com.

Happy Friday! Today, the boys deep dive on Mark Zuckerberg fighting Elon Musk and how Lizard People actually rule the world. Rob's new computer doesn't work, much like his old computer, causing Zoom room issues. Cheef reads you Mail Sack submissions, including a DM about learning to manual, a fond recollection of riding nekkid at Northstar Bike Park in 2018, and vomiting, pissing, and shitting simultaneously after touching an overpowered electric fence. Support this stupidity on Patreon. Buy our cool fenders and Gnar Couch gear at gnarcouch.com. Get 30% off your performance eyewear with code "sponchesmom" at enjoywinter.com. Get your bike parts and accessories at thelostco.com.

Producer Boston Rob gets high on edibles, then provides show material in the form of news stories from 2018, including one about monkeys cross-mating. The boys discuss how to use incest to create a cyclops. Jimmy comes up with an idea where dildos are launched from pitching machines, leading to a lively discussion about ways to utilize sex toys in batting cages. Jimmy dedicates his Baiku to our listener, "Beans." Support this stupidity on Patreon. Buy our cool fenders and Gnar Couch gear at gnarcouch.com. Get 30% off your performance eyewear with code "sponchesmom" at enjoywinter.com. Get your bike parts and accessories at thelostco.com.

Some guy wants to come on our show to talk about a gondola going up in one of the canyons in SLC. Jimmy and Cheef don't even know which canyon it is and don't care, so it's an obvious no. We ask our resident pro downhill racer, James Perri, questions about bikes and life from the audience. Cheef is thinking about getting a new bike so he polls the Instagram followers which one he should buy between a Canfield Jedi, Canfield One.2, and Rocky Mountain Slayer. The winning bike takes the crown by one vote. Support this stupidity on Patreon. Buy our cool fenders and Gnar Couch gear at gnarcouch.com. Get 30% off your performance eyewear with code "sponchesmom" at enjoywinter.com. Get your bike parts and accessories at thelostco.com.

Rob farts so loud we can actually hear it. Women dressed as clowns are stabbing desperate men to death during sex in 2018. We read your messages during our Mail Sack segment, one of which will give you the ultimate boner and softie. It's a damn good show. Support this stupidity on Patreon. Buy our cool fenders and Gnar Couch gear at gnarcouch.com. Get 30% off your performance eyewear with code "sponchesmom" at enjoywinter.com. Get your bike parts and accessories at thelostco.com.