Podcast appearances and mentions of camila salazar

Do you need feedback? Of course you do. We all do! But giving and receiving feedback whether it's from or to your child or co-parent can be challenging. Feedback can often feel like criticism and can even feel invalidating. This episode is all about giving and receiving feedback skillfully so that you or the other person doesn't become defensive or shut down. Today's episode welcomes back Leslie's daughter Dale Rubury who shares how she moved from the defensive stance as a child to the open and willing stance as an adult.  Time Stamps:3:18 Feedback is part of communication in all kinds of relationship3:55 Defining Feedback as nonjudgmental information about their behavior that is intended to help someone grow7:49 Why is feedback so important 9:00 The person receiving feedback has complete power over HOW they receive it9:07 What is RODBT? Radically Open Dialectic Behavior Therapy Fact Sheet12:55 The faith of parenting means you believe that the child heard you16:18 Why some kids have more difficulty getting feedback than others19:05 In public some kids will receive feedback differently than when they are at home. It may be known as masking (click here for more information)21:18 Notice and name their reaction21:25 "Did i just say something was invalidating to you"22:20 Watch out when the child gives feedback to you the parent23:30 It's the parent's job to model receiving feedback for the child24:33 Give kids time and space to learn to accept feedback27:40 “Is this a good time to give you feedback?”33:03 Use the metaphor of a buffet37:49 Tips on receiving feedback38:34 Recovering from invalidation40:19 Not everything has to be processed, sometimes it's healthier to let some things goResources:  Sign up here to be a parent guest on Is My Child a Monster? PodcastRadically Open DBT Fact SheetLeslie's Video:  Stop Repeating YourselfLeslie's Newsletter on I-Must-Have-Done-Something-Wrong StreetLeslie-ism: Growing as a parent is about being open to new ideas, open to learning, and open to feedback.For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook,  Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special

Exposure to books makes a big difference for children. Reading not only fosters cognitive and emotional development but also builds closeness and routines. This week, Leslie spoke to author Deborah Farmer Kris about her experience as a teacher and parent, highlighting the unique needs of each child and the intellectual and emotional challenges of parenting. Kris also promotes the use of public libraries and simple, consistent reading routines. Kris's books, including those in the "All the Time" series, aim to teach emotional literacy and provide caregiver tips. She stresses that being a stable, caring adult is crucial for a child's resilience and well-being.About our guest: Deborah Farmer Kris is a parent educator, journalist, and children's book author.  Deborah has written for CNN, PBS KIDS, NPR, The Washington Post, the Boston Globe Magazine, and Oprah Daily. She is an advisor for the PBS KIDS show “Carl the Collector,” and is wrapping up edits on a parenting book, called “Raising Awe Seekers: How the Science of Wonder Can Help Our Kids Thrive.” She also founded the parenting website Parenthood365Resources:To Learn more about Deborah Farmer Kris visit her Parenthood 365 Website Quick as a Cricket by Audrey Wood is a children's book that teaches that we all have many parts of usLeslie-ism: Try to find 10 minutes a day to read to your childFor a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper,  AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music.  Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

An unspoken agreement with parents raising children is that they will be on the same page and they will be a united front. But that is often easier said than done. In part 3 of our 3 part series with Mary, her husband Antoine joins us to discuss what happens when they disagree, how it affects their 6 year old Oliver, and what they're doing to make sure they come back together in healthy ways.Time Stamps7:34 What does “being on the same page” mean to you?9:51 What does it mean when your child picks up that you are two different people, with two different personalities12:42 For some people, harmony is necessary for the nervous system15:56 Parents might be comfortable with conflict, and your child might need extra reassurance that you're okay18:43 It's okay to give children a sense of control in the situation22:03 Start having your child become aware of their level of discomfort - check in with them, and have them name it22:40 An incredible lesson for a child: I'm uncomfortable, and I can handle it25:50 In uncomfortable moments, prepare the family to brave the storm, and that it will passSometimes we need to table arguments to have them away from children, but it is beneficial for children to see their parents arguing; it can be damaging to only see harmony/”perfection”30:46 Learning to “fight fair”34:28 Repair is incredibly important for children to witness34:40 Ideas of mutual respect and benefit of the doubt40:40 Definition of radical acceptance44:29 Idea that we can be different and still respect each other's ways; you're respecting your individual differences45:49 What do tolerating differences look like?Resources:  Sign up here to be a parent guest on Is My Child a Monster? PodcastTime Out: Resolving Family Conflicts available in both English and SpanishRules on Fighting Fair provided by Therapist AidLeslie-ism: Mutual respect is key for repairing relationship rupturesFor a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook,  Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

Sometimes there's nothing more frustrating than dealing with a frustrated child. In part 2 of our 3 part series with Mary, mother of six-year-old Oliver and a newborn baby James, Leslie explores just how exhausting being stuck in the frustration loop with your child can be—and how to break out of it. They also get into bedtime, setting limits, and parenting guilt. Time Stamps0:36 Low frustration tolerance3:03 Letting go of expectations is about accepting the moment in order to move forward. Remember: it's supposed to be hard11:54 “I need him to” is a dangerous thing to say23:09 The tough job of being a parent23:12 Bearing witness to your child's discomfort or pain23:19 The guilt of doing it good enough23:47 The definition of guilt; we don't need the extra burden of it25:36 When to give in, when to ignore and when to set limits - these are confusing choices all parents face.30:41 Assessing is important: there's a cause for all behavior33:13 Kids may need to be active to actually calm down their neurological system before bed: compression, getting wrapped up in a blanket, hugging a teddy bear, etc39:25 Allow the misbehavior to communicate what's going on39:47 Take a guess at why your child misbehaved:  scared of nightmares, not wanting to end the day, feeling stimulated in his body and need to release tension of the day, wanting to be closer to mom.Leslie-ism:  Learn as you go, learn from the past, and learn from mistakes. Resources:Sign up here to be a parent guest on Is My Child a Monster? PodcastVideo of Three Ways to Deal with a Low Frustration ToleranceFor a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

Anxiety attacks are not something we ever want to see our kids suffer through, especially if as parents we suffer them as well. In her second session with Pedro and Claudia, Leslie explores panic attacks and how they might differ from parent and child. The session also takes a turn towards the idea of “having the last word,” and what negative things are being reinforced when you continue to have this power struggle with your child. Time Stamps4:58 How panic attacks affect the whole family in different and unique waysSymptoms of panic attacks in a child vs parentThe hangover of the panic attackThe role of a person whose partner is suffering a panic attack10:22 The difference between guilt and shame12:23 Feelings come and feelings go 13:13 Definition of panic attack.15:18 Self talk skills help you when having a panic attack. Use these phrases:“I am safe. I am capable.”“Feelings come and feelings go”  “This too shall pass”17:00 Understand the cause of panic attacks 17:13 Develop skills before during and after panic attacks 19:23 Sympathetic versus parasympathetic nervous system 20:48 T.I.P.P.Skills to use to calm down the nervous system: The divers reflex SkillIntense exercise SkillPaced breathing Skill27:35 Finding the middle path between acceptance and change —28:45 When parents practice doing less as an antidote to overparenting32:12 Kids and parents who want the last word - a power struggle32:20 Discuss the skills you are using with your child and even with the school so everyone is on the same page35:00 When having the last word works36:22 Why parents engage in the power struggle of wanting the last word38:12 Have faith that what you say “registers somewhere”39:30 Parents have to remember that you don't have to prove your own sense of personal authority without getting the last word40:10 Reframing where the control lies. You want to have control over your own emotions40:38 Overparenting is a strategy when parents are being controlled by their fearsShow Note Links:NIH Research Article on Panic Disorder and Best PracticesTIPP Skills including a Video of Divers reflex skillLeslie Demonstrates How to use the Diver Reflex Skill on VideoNew York Times Article about Inside Out 2Leslie-ism: When you feel panic coming on, tell yourself, “I am safe and I am capable”.For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook,  Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and

“How can my child be a rule follower if they always say no to the family rules?” Leslie often catches parents off guard by suggesting that their child may actually be a rule follower. In this episode, Leslie has a conversation with her daughter Dale about what it's like to grow up as a rule follower. In this episode Leslie and Dale explore the many traits that are often associated with the rule-following child such as perfectionism and intense focus on fairness. Assessing whether you or your child is a rule-follower may not be so obvious but may be critically important to understanding their behavior and ways of thinking. This conversation pulls back the curtain on what really goes on in the mind of the rule-following child.Time Stamps2:40 The importance of knowing your child and knowing what it means to be a rule follower3:37 What “rule-followers” get out of following the rules10:07 Being careful not to reinforce the child's need to do everything perfectly10:36 Helping your children practice being uncomfortable17:56 The need for flexible thinking26:12 Keep an eye out for when a child has an obsession with fairness29:12 Advice for parents who have children who are rigid rule followersShow Note Links:Free virtual Q&A with Leslie August 21st, 8 PM EST“Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol DweckLeslie-ism: Flexible thinking takes practice.For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook,  Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

It's no secret that parenting is a challenge. We want our children to be happy, and it can be difficult to see them upset or hurting. Leslie has been working through this with Hannah and Alex, parents of three year old Paxton, who've returned for their third and final session. Together they reinforce the changes they've already implemented with Paxton, like correcting habits and communicating clearly. Leslie also shows them how they're setting Paxton up for success now when it comes to very adult things like handling disappointment and pain. Hannah and Alex have also begun communicating their emotions more clearly, adopting the “emotion mind” language with each other, which in turn helps model it for Paxton. Time Stamps5:30 Using Logic with someone in Emotion Mind usually doesn't work (at any age)6:20 Address issues, validate feelings, and move on (without bringing it up over and over)7:03 Extinction burst - why behaviors tend to get worse before they get better8:33 Teach kids early that they can handle disappointment10:54 How to reinforce manners without giving in every time a child asks for something “nicely”15:30 Life can be hard when you are a rule follower20:04 Short-term gratification can cause children to always want more, more, more20:38 Practice delayed gratification Even if you don't get the short-term results you want keep exposing your child to new foods and new activities24:25 Practice communicating with your partner about being in emotion-mind31:01 To promote flexible thinking and Dialectic thinking use “and” instead of “but”37:34 You can't protect your child from the pains of life, and the greatest gift you can give them is the ability to know that they can handle that pain39:03 Review an event in the past is for the purpose of learning, not for re-experiencing.  Ask something like  “what do you think would work for you next time?”Show Note LinksThree States of MindReacting vs RespondingYoutube channel videos on BehaviorismHow to increase wanted behaviors How to shape behaviorsHow to decrease unwanted behaviorsLeslie-ism: When your urge is to react, take a pause and then choose to respond. For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook,  Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

There are many reasons why children feel uncomfortable. And when your child is uncomfortable you as the parent often feel uncomfortable. This week we're back with Hannah and Alex for their second session, who have come to Leslie about their three year old son Paxton. These parents are vulnerable with Leslie when they speak about how hard it is for them to say no to Paxton when he wants something. They also admit that they regret some of the parenting choices they've made with Paxton, and fear that they are responsible for some of their son's habits. Hindsight is hindsight. The focus of the session is about figuring out what to do now in the present time. But these parents are committed to growing and changing and Leslie is there for them every step of the way.Time Stamps3:24 Parents feel amazing when they do the hard work of taking technology out of the bedtime routine7:40 Remember to reintroduce skills or foods or ideas at a later time8:10 Commitment is necessary to  make change - and it provides the motivation9:17 Creativity is great when it comes to food issues : how you serve it, when you serve it, what you serve, where you serve it11:58 Dialectic perspective - honor and respect your partner's perspective 13:55 Giving in to the short term relief at the expense of long term gains. Especially when our children are struggling 18:40 Parents can always look back and say, “I should have done it differently,” but parents shouldn't shame themselves when they are doing the best they can with the skills they had at the time.25:13 How should we as parents engage with our child's big emotions; be careful to acknowledge without reinforcing it26:43 When do we transition kids from distracting from big emotions to acknowledging big emotionsTeach your child that feelings are valid Distraction is one option (you can revisit the emotion later)Validate the feelings, do nothing to fix it, and move on29:40 Separate your feelings from you child's emotions33:57 When children have “comfort” habits like picking their parents' fingernails39:10 You can be emotionally connected with your child without being physically connectedLeslie-ism: Take a moment to look at the ways you both physically and emotionally connect with your child.For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Mia Warren, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

Sometimes when parenting a child that is struggling, tensions arise between the parents. This especially goes for parents with different parenting styles, or those with different levels of experience with young children. This is what Leslie gets into on this week's episode with Louise and George. In her third and final session with the parents of six-year-old Anna and a newborn baby, Leslie uncovers the vulnerabilities of parents who want to break away from the way they were parented and feel like they want to do better when dealing with their daughter who has intense emotions. This session is a raw look at what it means to make mistakes as a parent and we invite you to listen with compassion and openness.Time Stamps3:30 How to use the T-graph with your child6:39 Unpacking what it means to be an equitable parent vs being a “secondary” o or “trainee” parent 8:35 A dialectic approach to holding both concepts together: being equitable and being a trainee10:50 Making the goal of parenting a process of lifelong learning as your priority11:24 Concepts of worthiness, learning, levels of contribution15:50  How to give feedback to your partner I have an idea that might work for you  Is there something I can do to help out hereSet the stage -  I respect that you are doing the best you can18:39 Dealing with timely matters and feeling the pressure of time: getting to bed, getting out of the house20:27 Celebrating differences in parents so children learn about tolerance and have a chance to learn from each parent22:56 Your child is going to help you learn as well26:00 Golden nuggets from LeslieThe qualities that drive you nuts now are going to be positive attributes laterThe idea that the quality of your child is a reflection of you is a LOT of pressureFocusing on the process rather than the outcome of parenting28:10 Children may only show their big reactions at home and not in public29:30 Being the “trainee parent” doesn't really exist; we're all trainees. Have faith in the process36:06 The cost of aggressive anger in a parent and how to be responsible for it38:30  The Three Step Apology State what you didstate how you it affected the child and yourselfMake an amends: talk about what you will do differently next time40:45 Power struggles with your child41:40 Children help us see what need to work on and we are all parents in trainingResources:  Leslie's Blog Posting The Three Step ApologyLeslie's Handout: Using a T-Graph to Understand our Qualities and our EmotionsLeslie-ism: Focus on the process of parenting, not just the outcome.For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Mia Warren, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubur

Louise and George have committed to parenting without force and want to parent without punishments or rewards, but what happens when their six year old Anna has what feels like never-ending tantrums? In her second session with them, Leslie reinforces the importance of connection, and sheds light on the pressures Anna may be putting on herself. Leslie also continues her conversation with George about helping him find joy in parenting. In an incredibly honest and vulnerable conversation, they talk about what it feels like when there's a favored parent, what might be causing this behavior, and what Dad should do to change that.Time Stamps2:34 How a child's frustrating attributes will be beautiful qualities when they're an adult4:05 How noticing and naming a child's behavior can be effective in helping them change it6:18 Example of how connecting with your child increases cooperation8:27 Defining processing speed9:10 Dealing with what parents would call “temper tantrums,” or what Leslie would say is a child having trouble regulating their emotions12:35 How feeling trapped negatively affects mental health15:45 It's all about connection and disconnection16:03 Staying one step ahead: Identifying and naming your child's vulnerabilities as prompting events18:40 How to not reinforce unwanted behaviors by not giving in, but inadvertently reinforcing behavior by ignoring it21:57 Speaking to your child's expectations that maybe they're not even aware of 24:04 Teaching your child a T graph: when does this quality work for you, when does it not28:07 Discussion of different parenting approaches 29:10 Children have a common worry of disappointing their parents33:30 Relationship between mom and child vs dad and child35:35 The challenges of co-parenting: when one parent feels invalidated by the otherResources:  Leslie's handout: “Staying One Step Ahead of your Child”Leslie-ism: Try to stay one step ahead of your child.For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Mia Warren, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

Today's episode is a revisit of the conversation between Leslie and her adult daughter Dale. It focuses on the skill of building mastery with new information and resources.  Parents can use this skill to build their children's sense of confidence and competence. Building mastery can also provide a sense of accomplishment for all adults. This is an inside look at Leslie as a mother using this skill to help her anxious daughter. This episode is also a unique opportunity to hear these parenting skills from the child's perspective. And in an unexpected move, Dale turns the tables and puts the spotlight on Leslie's own building mastery.About the guest: Dale Rubury was a producer and special guest in several episodes. After graduating from college with a degree in Zoology, Dale moved to warmer climates to pursue a career with animals. She worked at the largest primate sanctuary in North America for 7 years before moving on to a different career path. For the past few years, she has been in the world of construction where she was building yurts and working for Habitat for Humanity. Dale is currently enrolled in a graduate program to become a Physical Therapy Assistant. Dale is proud to say that she has a healthy relationship with her anxiety.Resources:Leslie 's Handout on The Need to Feel CapableYoutube Video  Building Mastery Skill For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcast/. You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Leslie-ism: Building a sense of accomplishment comes from challenging ourselves.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Mia Warren, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

Today's episode marks the third and final session with Emma, mother of four in a blended family who relies on parenting strategies of the past. But things change, and we may also need to change the way we raise our children. Leslie continues to explore Emma's family patterns from her past, myths about parenting and fears that are so much a part of raising children. In this session, Leslie offers alternative strategies to the traditional punishments that parents so often rely on.  Once again Leslie redefines how we understand misbehavior and more specifically how we look at “punishment”. Does taking things away and giving out time outs actually work? Or is there a more effective way? Time Stamps4:40 Myth: Parents have to fix their children's problems4:56 Being a calm authority and pillar of support5:55 Validation has the power to make children feel heard and they stop repeating themselves12:15 Be responsible for your own panic12:31 Some people need more time to process (their feelings, instructions, or a situation)15:35 Take a step, take a beat, and see if the step works. If not, go back20:20 Leslie's class: Making the Punishment Fit the Crime21:39 Class name was intentionally provocative, because punishment doesn't work22:58 It is not a crime for your child to misbehave23:20 Misbehavior is not a crime, it's a learning experience and a form of communication29:30 Punishment creates shame (and abandonment) in the child30:24 An alternative to time out: take space, time in, staying connected31:20-35:30 Tool box for dealing with misbehaviorWhat does it communicateLet it goValidate, validate, validateProblem solve (finding other options)Conflict resolution stepsObserve and describe what's happeningDo Nothing is an option32:18 Principles of reinforcement35:30 Let's not throw away “time out,” let's transform it into “do you need some space”Resources:  Miles Davis quote: “It's not the note you play that's the wrong note – it's the note you play afterwards that makes it right or wrong.”  Leslie's newsletter:  The Art of Healthy Neglect Leslie-ism: People including kids are doing the best they can with the skills they have at the current time. For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Mia Warren, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

This is the second session with Emma, mother of four children. After just one session, Emma is having breakthroughs about how her own traumas are affecting her judgment with her kids. She and Leslie discuss the warning signs of rumination (a symptom of her anxiety) and how to reel it back in once she's started. They also work through a few role-playing scenarios in order to see  how Emma can validate her children without unfairly punishing them. Sibling dynamics are never easy, and while Emma's anxiety may be telling her she needs to “fix” every problem, Leslie gently reminds her that children don't need fixing, but they do need some very important things from their parents in order to feel emotionally safe and secure.Time Stamps4:34 Use the line “I wonder if…”  to clarify what your child is thinking or feeling6:31 Stop putting your adult expectations and standards on children8:43 The shift from being a victim in your relationships can be a shifting of expectations as well as empowering you with skills to make you feel confident in the situation.13:15 Whose problem is it?14:43 How body sensations help us identify emotional reactions. 16:06 Understanding Rumination (and how to prevent it)21:43 Is your child tuned into fairness and unfairness? And what it means in terms of sensitivity and dichotomous thinking23:50 How we help children have a growth mindset vs a fixed mindset25:17 Children repeat themselves when they don't feel they are being heard27:42 How to validate children: reflecting back what they're saying so they know you understand34:20 Shifting from “tell me what happened” to “what's your version of what happened  (each child tells their POV)35:51 We're not looking for blame, we're looking for understanding and empathy36:12 Shame: let's avoid interrogations, and make them feel safe insteadResources:  Video of Leslie doing a handstand to demonstrate the bottom up approach to mindfulnessVideo: The Story of Ruby- how misbehavior is a form of communicationBlog writing on Staying One Step Ahead of Your Child  Handout on  Conflict Resolution Strategies for Kids by ScholasticMindset by Carolyn Dweck: a book about fixed vs growth mindsetLeslie-ism:   Expect your children to misbehaveFor a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host, visit Leslie's website. You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Mia Warren, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. 

Today is the first of three sessions with Emma who is a mom of 4 children in a blended family. Henelly, her 7 year old daughter is from her first marriage. Emma and her second husband have 3 year old twins, Grayson and Claire and a new baby, Olivia.  Emma reached out for therapy concerned that Henelly is manipulating her. Parents may often feel this way but it's a serious accusation.  Leslie unpacks that word and explores how Emma's past experiences are influencing the way she interprets her child's communication style.  And there's more to this episode which includes when parents feel helpless, when kids give voice to the fighting refrain -  “it's mine, no, it's mine” and those seldom-working promises that you make with your children.Time Stamps4:30 Reframing the word manipulation - children are designed to get their needs. 7:10 Varying communication skills - nonverbal to indirect to direct 9:58 Examples of dialectic dilemmas - clearly articulate the dilemma13:00 Reinforce the behavior you want more of. 15:15 The continuum of nonverbal to indirect to direct21:20. The parent trap of promises22:43 Use the phrase “what's going to happen when….”25:00 How to give your child some healthy ways to be in "control"28:00 Reasons why children take on the role of parenting25;45 The feeling of being trapped is a terrible feeling. The antidote is identifying some options. 35:25 The unintended consequences of possessiveness of toys and finding a balance between mine and oursResources:  DBT Handout on levels of intensity for making a request Video on Levels of intensity for making a requestLeslie-ism: Fostering effective communication means learning to speak your child's language. For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Mia Warren, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

This week, host Leslie Cohen-Rubury sits down with anxiety expert Lynn Lyons. Together they discuss the challenges of parenting anxious children and the importance of addressing anxiety in families. Lynn's work is research-based and her practical strategies for dealing with anxiety may surprise you but will make sense as you listen to this episode.  There's a lot to learn about anxiety.  Leslie and Lynn's conversation focuses on how  parents and caregivers can unintentionally make anxiety worse, how anxiety works and how to live with it effectively - and no, the answer is not eliminating it.   About our Guest: Lynn Lyons is a psychotherapist, author, and speaker with over 30 years of experience and a special interest in interrupting the generational patterns of anxiety in families. Her latest book, The Anxiety Audit, looks at the seven sneaky ways that anxiety and worry weave their way into our families, friendships, and jobs, and provides actionable steps to reverse the cycle and reclaim emotional well-being. Her podcast, Flusterclux, is filled with so many of her strategies for managing anxiety, as is her website: lynnlyons.comTime Stamps3:43  Defining Anxiety5:00  Avoidance begets Avoidance8:43  The keys of anxiety are certainty and comfort9:38 Plans that work vs plans that don't work 12:20 The three X's - expect it, externalize it, experiment with it. 15:40 Elimination strategies make anxiety worse15:50 Tolerating uncertainty is what makes it better. 20:45 Research on kids who are raised by anxious parents - 4 takeaways26:25 Change the question from how do we help the child calm down to how does this child continue to freak themselves out. 29:20 Why the accommodation model at schools to treat anxiety is not working31:50  Parental Experiential Avoidance - Parents unable to tolerate their distress or their children's distress33:05 Expectations of therapy if your child is being treated for anxiety37:24 Stopping the transmission of generational anxiety38:40 Anxiety and Depression are disorders of passivity.  Retraining the brain for actionResources:  Website: lynnlyons.com  Podcast: Flusterclux.comInstagram: lynnlyonsanxiety  Facebook: Lynn Lyons PsychotherapistLeslie-ism: Remember Lynn Lyon's 3 X's - We need to expect it, externalize it, experiment when dealing with anxietyFor  more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper,  AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. 

This is part one of a three-part series with parents Leigh and Pierre. Leigh is from the US and Pierre is from France, and they moved their family from France to the states one year ago. They have two children - almost 5 yr old Jean  and 2 year old Nina. However, they came to Leslie to talk  about Jean who is not speaking outside of her immediate family.  Over time, Leigh and Pierre have heard the diagnosis “selective mutism” and have made changes accordingly, but they're still struggling with what they should do. In this episode Leslie walks Leigh and Pierre through an assessment of why a child might be selectively speaking. While there are lots of causes, they mostly boil down to vulnerability. Is Jean stressing about her learning two languages at once? Struggling with perfectionism?  Or Is she not feeling safe when she's out in the world? We ask these questions and many more in this sessionTime StampsSelective MutismParents explain how they're reacting to their child's strugglesWhen parents can relate to their  struggles - is there a  genetic componentDeveloping an avoidant behavior: the child speaks when they feel safeConfidence, safety, willingness: 3 important things, without them child is left feeling vulnerableTalk about what perfectionism looks like in kids and adults. Perfectionism and its relationship to anxietyPractice being vulnerable - the problem with avoiding or suppressing those uncomfortable emotions. Some kids gravitate to only wanting to experience the pleasant emotionsPractice learning to be comfortable in an uncomfortable situationIndirect ways to support:Letting child use nonverbal and indirect communication (and validating it)When you're with other people, practice talking (not to them, but around them)Tell them “can you give yourself practice making a mistake”Resources:  The podcast Well, Hello Anxiety with Dr Jodi Richardson episode on selective mutism Other resources on selective mutismLeslie-ism: What is the loud and clear message you may be sending to your childFor a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Mia Warren, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

This is the second half of the final session with Molly and Alastair. Their kids, Katherine (4) and Elizabeth (8), are benefitting from the changes that their parents are making at home. As parents we want quick behavior fixes, but let's not underestimate the power and impact that modeling behavior has on children. Molly and Alastair are no different. Leslie's focus on the parents helped them realize that  anxiety exists in the family—from the grandparents, to the parents, to the children themselves. Together, they face these generational patterns head-on. It's often surprising how anxiety can fly under the radar for everyone in a family, but it's a significant factor in raising kids, so how can we better identify it and, more importantly, learn to manage it.Time Stamps5:25 Myth are mistaken beliefs that we may have learns from childhood or societyIt's not ok to experience the natural consequences because its too painfulIt's my responsibility to make sure everything goes “right”If something goes wrong, someone is going to be blamed. It has to be someone's faultIt's your job to make sure everyone has to be happy7:03 Generational anxiety - stop the cycle7:55 Dichotomous thinking of seeing things as right or wrong, good or bad. Use the phrase: That's your version,  this is my version.10:20 Find another interpretation skill - to teach that there are other perspectives11:15 Molly added the expression:  Don't yuk someone else's yum14:55 Wanting everything to go right is a way of expressing anxiety16:10 Compassion is an effective way of dealing with one's anxiety18:10 Preparing our children to handle the uncomfortable situations (see The coping skills toolbox for Anxiety in show notes below)19:50 Various ways that Anxiety presents itselfSuppress it, avoid, procrastinate, go into a holeGet into a frenzy, ruminating, making sure everything is “right"21:55 Modeling for your children willingness to be vulnerable and willingness to be uncomfortable.Choose your long term value as a guide for the dialectic dilemmasResources:  Handout on The Coping Skills Toolbox for AnxietyVideo of The Coping Skills Toolbox for AnxietyHandout on When Being Right is not Effective:  How dichotomous thinking can be problematic.Dialectic Behavior Therapy Handouts: Myths that get in the way of Interpersonal EffectivenessMyths about EmotionsLeslie-ism: Teach different perspectives by saying, “that's your version and this is my version”.For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and 

Today's episode is the third session with Molly and Alastair where things take a turn inward. Molly and Alastair first contacted Leslie to get help with their two daughters, 8 year old Elizabeth and 4 year old Catherine but in the process began to face their own struggles with their belief systems and expectations.  In addition, in this session Molly and Alastair face the complexities of family communication and interactions. This episode throws a spotlight on the delicate dance of respecting different parenting styles. Leslie shares strategies to increase effective communication in their relationship.  In this heart-to-heart conversation you are bound to feel a shift in their perspective and possibly a shift in your own perspective as well.Time Stamps3:00 When the parents “gives more” the child ends up cooperating more4:30 Connection = mutual respect = trust5:03 Refocusing from the “end goal” to the present moment5:17 Children remind us to be in the present moment6:50 As a parent your battery gets worn down Worry and stress about kids getting alongDesire to do things right causes us stress9:50 Parents avoidance to letting the child get upset11:30 Generational myth to make sure everyone is happy11:50 Kids relax when parents aren't constantly trying to fix them.12:30 Parents are learning to get used to when the kids are upset with each other or with you.13:25 When the second parent steps in to the interaction between a parent and a child. Ways to step in:You can say “Is that working for you” come in with a neutral non-judgmental stanceYou can say “I notice there is a bit of a struggle” You can say “Can I be of help to either of you?”19:30 Doing things the right way and letting go of wanting to be right  21:08 Find the positive intention of another person's behavior26:05 Accurate communication: Put words to those chaotic moments - Narrate it One minute check inExpect and accept the bumps and rough spots in parenting Molly's idea of naming the “unicorn parent” who is the parent on pointResources:  Handout on When Being Right is not Effective:  How dichotomous thinking can be problematic.Handout on Seeing the Positive Intention of Another Person's BehaviorLeslie-ism: When you want to step in, pause and ask your partner, “is there anything I can do to help?”For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

This episode is part two of three sessions with parents Molly and Alastair. Last week Leslie focused on the sibling dynamics between their daughters, 8-year-old Elizabeth and 4-year-old Katherine. This week we focus on a different kind of dynamic: the power struggle. In the fight for power between child and parent, Leslie offers an alternative: stop struggling for power and put an end to the power struggles. In this episode Leslie discusses identifying the problem behind the struggle, what the problem really is, whose problem is it, and learning to ask: can we try that again?Time Stamps:5:02 Whose problem is it? Is it the child's problem or is it the parent's problem7:07 Definition of power struggle8:15 What happens if the parent give in9:52 Example of sibling rivalry and how parents reinforce the escalation Strategies to deal with power struggles12:02 Say that you need a moment (to get into wise mind)12:39 Engage your child in the problem solving process 12:54 Do a pros and cons13:34 Notice and name what's going on14:12 Use the phrase “try it again”15:20 How to give the problem back to your child19:39 Go below the surface - Restate child's blaming statement into naming the underlying emotion23:10 Parenting using “try it again” between the parents27:31 If I had the superpower of mindreading - add levity to a situation and tapping into your child's imagination27:40 Mindreading is known as a problematic thinking problem28:23 Again - give the problem back to your child30:05 Stop and acknowledge when your child gets through a struggle - reinforce that they did it!!32:21 How to gain some distance and perspective on past experiences so you don't end up re-experiencing35:20 Naming the dialectic dilemma and identifying priorities36:10 Understanding how to find a synthesis as a solution to a dialectic dilemmaResources:  Handout titled:  Whose Problem is it?Handout on choosing between power over, power under and personal power belief systemLeslie-ism: When you don't like a Child's response use the phrase “Try Again” For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Mia Warren, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

This week's episode is our last with single mother of three Salimah. After three sessions focusing on each one of her children, today Leslie turns the attention to Salimah and the many roles that she plays. Let's face it, being a parent is hard. It's important for parents to supply themselves with an anti-burnout toolkit while also giving themselves grace. In addition to learning to reduce and prevent burnout, Leslie and Salimah also talk candidly about how to advocate for yourself, how to ask for help, and how to get the support and validation you need from your community (and not just from your kids).Time Stamps6:47 “Kiss your brain” an expression of compassion when you are trying to be kind to yourself8:50 Parents should give themselves grace13:51 Braided hair analogy: the separate strands represent each child and you are them, woven together17:18 Correcting other people when they get your name wrong - why that can be so hard26:23 Praise vs feedbackTool box for burnout:10:43 Lowering expectations14:45 Get in touch with your values and beliefs21:07 Punctuate your life with pauses and taking breaks25:14 & 30:45 Get someone to acknowledge how hard you work26:56 Give yourself credit for effort28:00 Keep your head down and stay present33:30 & 36:39 Learn to ask for help34:31 Random acts of kindness37:39 When asking for help: How do you make sure you're not over-asking?38:04 Collect data - get the facts and ask yourself, am I really asking excessively?38:34 Is there any reciprocity? Identify the relationship and ask is what you're asking for fair from this type of relationship39:12 Give them permission to say “no” when you go for the ask and tell them you have other options40:51 Its ok to talk to strangersLinks:  Newsletter: Punctuate Your LifeNewsletter: How to ask for helpHandout on a practice of Self-Compassion called RAIN by Tara Brach. Video of the Weaving Braid metaphorLeslie-ism: Ask for help because you deserve to get itFor a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, , Mia Warren, Camila Salazar and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Public relations is handled by AJ Moultrie. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

This is part three of the four part series with Salimah, single mother of three. This week, Leslie and Salimah focus on 5 year old Terrel. Terrel is the youngest child and also the only “man of the house.” He is typically a happy go-lucky child. But there are other behaviors that have Salimah confused and frustrated.  He can sometimes say mean things, he can be quick to anger and he is dealing with issues with his bowel movements. These different parts of the same child motivated Salimah to come to this session to understand what is at the root of these behaviors.Time Stamps2:35 Reviewed homework of validation 5:16 Learning how to read the shoulder shrugs and what they mean7:40 When our children “push our buttons”  which really describe our vulnerabilities8:15 ABC of looking at a child's behavior: Antecedent, Behavior, Consequence in order to understand problem behavior13:29 Give your child back the actual problem without personalizing their behavior.  14:01 When children say mean things it's often a reflection of how they are doing26:05 Children can have control of their lives in two ways: eating and bowel movements26:50 Control helps the child feel a sense of safety.30:52 Finding other means to find happiness31:30 Dealing with his vulnerabilities of his sad and angry emotions34:09 Learning to sit with uncomfortable emotions34:35 Give your child the chance to feel capable and independent36:48 Teach him to be able to handle the fearsResourcesAn article on Encopresis in childrenLeslie's handout on The Need to Feel CapableLeslie's List of Ideas for Making Kids Feel CapableLeslie-ism: Give your child a chance to feel capableFor a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Mia Warren, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

This week we meet Salimah, single mother of three wonderful children, 13-year-old Alani, 7-year-old Rene, and 5-year-old Terrel. Parenting isn't one-size-fits-all, and Leslie's sessions with Salimah are a perfect example of that. The first of this four-part series focuses on middle child Rene. Salimah needs help figuring out why is Rene destroying her room, and how to handle those big emotions.TIME STAMPS6:58 The three states of mind- emotion mind, reasonable mind, wise mind8:05 The ring of fire as a metaphor when your child is emotionally dysregulated12:50 Explaining the difference between a trigger vs prompting eventCan you identify the five prompting events that set you off to emotion mind15:50 Power of pause - the gift of the pause16:55 Re-considering the use of time-out as a form of punishment20:40 Create a toolbox of alternatives of how to react when your child has the big emotions; how can you connect and at the same time to give her space Redirect them to do another activity such as go outsideProblem-solving or engaging in conflict resolution with the other personValidate and stop talking. Sometimes talking less is more effective.23:12 Narrate what you are doing and what you are thinking, as both a model and a strategy in difficult times25:49 Change your language away from “I'm in combat with my children,” which implies that they are your enemy 27:44 Having children put a mirror to us, and show us the ways we need to grow.33:00 Rules of the game - share with your children what you are thinking and doing Show Note Links:A visual explanation of the three states of mindVideo on three states of mindLeslie's blog posting explaining the three states of mindLeslie's newsletter on becoming aware of violent language: Why words matter?Two articles on why time-outs aren't effective: https://kidcrew.com/why-time-outs-are-not-effectivehttps://childmind.org/article/are-time-outs-harmful-kids/For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Leslie-ism:  Keep in mind: your words have power and you can choose what to say.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Mia Warren, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

Brains can be confusing - how they work, what they do, how yours is different from other people's. And explaining brains to kids can be a challenge. Today's special guest is Dr. Liz Angoff, an Educational Psychologist who specializes in explaining brains to kids and their families. She primarily works with families undergoing assessment and diagnosis, but her tools and language are helpful for anyone who has a brain. Leslie has been recommending her book and website to clients for years. About our guest:  Liz Angoff, Ph.D., is a Licensed Educational Psychologist with a Diplomate in School Neuropsychology, providing assessment and consultation services to children and their families in the Bay Area, CA. Dr. Liz's mission is to empower children and families by helping them understand their amazing, unique brains. She is the author of the Brain Building Books, tools for engaging children in understanding their learning and developmental differences as part of the assessment process. More information about Dr. Liz and her work is available atwww.ExplainingBrains.com.Timestamps:7:50 Understanding the difference between the medical model diagnosis and neurodivergent affirming language approach10:40 Different is not broken, different is a mismatch (between child and environment)17:41 Diagnosis can be powerful tool, gives you the language that can help meet our child's needs20:10 Validating a child's struggle is powerful20:53 How do you tell your child about their assessment28:12 How do I help my child to not have such a hard time32:27 Three things that Liz wants parents to take away from this conversationResources:Visit her website, full of wonderful resourcesHere is the script for explaining a diagnosis Dr. Liz mentioned in this episodeYou can find her book, The Brain Building Book, hereLeslie-ism: Dr. Liz said "Talk to your child about their brain, do it early, do it often.” For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

This is the final session with Emilee and David. Emilee felt a big difference when she stepped back from her son's big reactions and no longer took his words and actions personally; that's a huge achievement. David said he felt less pressure on himself as a parent—also a huge achievement. In this session, Leslie also explained creative ways to teach children about emotions, like using children's books and other media. Leslie also addresses Jack's neuropsychological testing and the results. Leslie supports Emilee and David as they digest this helpful information while remembering to see Jack as a whole person.Time Stamps10:55 Throwing up analogy: a way to not take your children's words personally12:05 Neuropsychological testing and school accommodations17:35 How to teach your child about emotions- books, model it, watch other people, tell stories 24:01 Concept: being able to hold two opposing thoughts at the same time24:41 Bibliotherapy: using books to help teach children26:50 Receiving a diagnosis, and how to make it helpful and useful30:45 Movement breaks37:27 Childrens are like puppies: they all have big paws that they grow into, just like children and their big emotionsResources:  Video of throwing up analogyHandout of feeling words for kidsDr. Liz Angoff's Website and resources: How to explain testing to kidsLeslie's sample list of books she likes to read with childrenLeslie-ism:  Let's honor the individual learning styles of child and adults alikeFor a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Mia Warren, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

This is part 1 of the 3 part series with Emilee and David. In the first session, we learned about Jack, their six-year-old son who is having trouble expressing his emotions. He often defaults to kicking and saying “I don't know.” In this episode, Leslie looks closer at their differing parenting styles: David wants to get to the bottom of it, and Emilee tends to distract and redirect. Is it important to be on the exact same page as your partner when it comes to parenting styles? And what happens when what you dislike about your partner's approach is exactly what's missing  from your own.Time Stamps10:38 Anticipatory Anxiety: kids and adults can get more upset by the anticipation of the event than the event itself. 15:57 It's not misperception, but rather simply having a different perception18:00 Instinct to “get to the bottom of it” might be causing more stress18:30 Can we normalize emotions rather than inflating them19:18 When you have different parenting styles: determine what's working and what's not working.  19:45 How to get the best of both worlds22:08 Emily distracts and redirects (indirect) David wants to get to the bottom of things (direct)26:05 Announce and name what you are doing, the change you're imposing29:35 Their homework:  Don't work so hard34:40 Normalize children who are arguing vs teaching children conflict resolution skills36:50 The lost ART of healthy neglect 41:40 Use the line “can you give yourself permission to make a mistake”43:20 "Plant the seed" and get out of thereRESOURCES:  Why ‘how was school?' isn't a good question to ask kids. Here's a CNBC article with some ideas of what to say insteadDistress Tolerance STOP techniqueNYTimes article on unsupervised PlayThe Anti-Helicopter Parents Plea: Let Kids Play!Risky Play Encourages ResilienceLeslie's book recommendation: The Last Child in the Woods by Richard LouvLeslie-ism: Do LessFor a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Mia Warren, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

This is part 1 of the 3 part series with Emilee and David.  Emilee and David have a six year old son who repeatedly says “I don't know” when they try to help their son understand his big emotions. Many parents like Emilee and David want to teach their children how to regulate their emotions and how to understand their emotions.  But what happens when what you are doing is not working and actually producing the very opposite results than what you were hoping for.  Time stamps:13:10 How children physically express their emotions, and what to do13:55  Name and notice those body sensations and physical actions16:07 Alexithymia: when a child doesn't have the skills to name what they are experiencing18:30 Masking: a survival tactic for social situations22:20 Change from asking questions like "how do you feel?" to making statements about the situation26:45 & 34:07 Social Signaling: what is your child communicating to others28:41 Go below the surface: anger with mean words and an intense physical response is above the surface and disappointment is below the surface30:50 Take the pressure off of the child to express their emotions32:27 Beware of praise and instead, give feedback 35:40 Create a bridge from the behavior to describing the emotion: children may need help finding the words40:50 What to do if your child is masking44:43 Difference between when a child WON'T express emotion versus when they CAN'TResources: AlexithymiaAutism Parenting Magazine's Guide to AlexithymiaChildren's Alexithymia Measure handoutThe Alexithymia Wheel and more resourcesMaskingMasking in Children ExplainedNHS's Guide on "Masking" Behavior in ChildrenPraise vs feedbackThe Psychology of Feedback vs PraiseHow to Give Feedback to Your ChildLeslie-ism: The slower you go, the faster you get there.For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Mia Warren, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

Season two of Is My Child a Monster? A parenting therapy podcast with host, Leslie Cohen-Rubury launches next week. The first full episode will drop on January 23, 2024! Listen to the trailer for a taste of whats to come.For more information about the Leslie Cohen-Rubury visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: The Is My Child A Monster? team is Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and me. Special thanks to Eric Rubury and Mia Warren. Theme music is by L-Ray Music.  Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

Vem är det som går med i ett gäng? Hur har det gått så långt att barn skjuter ihjäl varandra? Och vad behöver vi som samhälle göra för att få bukt med problemet?I det här avsnittet av Spöktimmens nya poddserie gästas vi av kriminologen Camila Salazar Atías som har jobbat med flera gängavhoppare. Vi diskuterar gängkriminaliteten och våldet och får höra mer om varför man väljer att gå med i ett gäng. Länk Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/spoktimmenFryshusets avhopparverksamhet: https://www.fryshuset.se/verksamhet/passusPolisens stöd för avhoppare: https://polisen.se/om-polisen/polisens-arbete/brottsforebyggande-arbete/avhoppare/För att stötta Fryshuset: https://fryshuset.se/gavaMusik”Requiem Demo (Horror)” av ianchenmusic”Come out and play” av DesperateMeasurezhttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/legalcode KontaktInstagram: @spoktimmen@linnek@jennyborg91 Facebook: Spöktimmen Mail: spoktimmenpodcast@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Todos los jueves, después de las 7 de la noche, tenemos una cita con Alison y Leonardo Urrego en un programa hecho 'Solo para ellas'. La invitada de este programa fue Camila Salazar, quien nos habló de los términos 'one-night stand' y álter ego, para disfrutar del sexo, que refiere al ligue de una noche o conquista de una noche, ¿te ha pasado?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Le tourisme commence à faire vivre un cauchemar aux Colombiens dans certaines villes. Hausse du coût de la vie, des prix des projets immobiliers, des loyers, croissance de l'offre AirBnB au détriment de la location d'appartements pour les Colombiens. C'est le cas de Medellin, à Poblado, le quartier le plus touristique de la ville. De notre correspondante à Medellin,Peu importe l'heure, sur la calle 10 qui mène au quartier Poblado, la circulation et le bruit sont omniprésents. L'une des rues les plus commerçantes, la rue Provenza, fait régulièrement le plein. Ses restaurants, bars, cafés et discothèques sont les sites préférés des étrangers. Hyuntae Jeong est coréen. Ce trentenaire est installé depuis plusieurs mois à Medellin : « Je suis traducteur. Et j'ai choisi de vivre à Medellin, tout d'abord pour le climat. Il n'y fait ni trop chaud, ni trop froid. Et aussi parce que les gens sont sympas, agréables. La Colombie n'est pas le pays le moins cher, mais il est très accessible. Pour moi, c'est important que l'endroit, où je vis, soit bon marché. »Comme Hyuntae, des milliers de touristes et de « digital nomad », viennent à Medellin chaque année. Ce sont des personnes qui vivent en Colombie en gagnant un salaire provenant de l'étranger, un salaire payé en dollars ou en euros. Ce qui est bon marché pour eux, devient alors trop cher pour les Colombiens. Dans le pays andin, le salaire minimum n'atteint pas les 300 euros par mois.Les effets négatifs de la gentrification Camila Salazar tient un restaurant grec depuis cinq ans sur Provenza. Cette Colombienne native de Bogota vit à Medellin depuis 10 ans. Elle confirme les changements : « Nous avons dû déménager trois fois en deux ans. On vit près de Provenza. On voulait rester proche du restaurant en cas de besoin. À chaque fois, les propriétaires nous ont demandés l'appartement pour le mettre en location sur Airbnb. Car ils se sont rendus compte que c'était plus rentable. En Clair, ce qu'une personne locale peut payer en un mois de loyer, un étranger le paye en une semaine. Maintenant, c'est très dur de trouver un appartement dans ce quartier car presque tout est en location Airbnb et ensuite parce que tout est extrêmement cher. »Natalia Castaño Cardenas, architecte et urbaniste de l'Urbam (Centre d'études urbaines et environnementales de l'université EAFIT de Medellin) : « Il faut mettre en perspective les effets négatifs de cette gentrification. Il y a le problème de cohabitation dans les quartiers qui se complique à cause du bruit des commerces et la mauvaise gestion des poubelles. Les quartiers urbains perdent alors leur qualité de vie. Et ensuite, un autre sujet est très critiqué. Le fait que la prostitution et le trafic de drogue se sont développés dans ces quartiers. »Medellin souffre depuis plusieurs années d'un manque croissant de biens immobiliers. Aujourd'hui, seulement 36 % des biens sont à louer. Pourtant, le tourisme est nécessaire à Medellin. C'est une des sources de revenus les plus importantes pour la ville. L'an dernier, Medellin a reçu près de 1,5 million de touristes soit plus 49% de plus qu'avant la pandémie.À lire aussiColombie: la population civile au cœur du nouveau round de négociations avec l'ELN

It's time for a new series of Fresh from the Hill (finally!) The name of our new host may be familiar to you - that's because she was a guest on the podcast back in 2021! Get to know her better by revisiting that episode today (Check Your Privilege - original air date 8/18/21) and stay tuned for brand new episodes in the upcoming weeks with Sydney hosting. Read the episode transcript. Hosted by Camila Salazar '16. Created and produced by Amanda Massa. Music by Kia Albertson-Rogers '13, koa3@cornell.edu. Artwork by Chris Kelly. *The views expressed by Fresh from the Hill hosts and guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions or policies of Cornell University.

¿Te imaginas que nuestros políticos tuviesen que tomar talleres de meditación, espiritualidad, crecimiento personal y bienestar emocional como regla para formar parte de un congreso o hasta de la misma presidencia? María Camila es una politóloga y coach antológica que tiene como misión llevar el desarrollo personal al mundo de la política y del emprendimiento, nos comparte en este podcast aprendizajes que en situaciones personales, la hicieron analizar sobre la importancia que es el crecimiento personal y tener una buena salud mental en el mundo empresarial y político. Recuerda que tenemos un área exclusiva de membresía en donde podrás escuchar todos nuestros podcasts en https://progresandoando.progrevo.com y podrás obtener un recurso digital de este episodio y de todos los anteriores que te ayudarán con tu crecimiento y desarrollo personal.

I det här avsnittet av Att lämna kriminalitet medverkar Camila Salazar Atías. Hon är kriminolog, kunskapsområdeschef på Fryshuset och ansedd som en av Sveriges främsta expert på gängkriminalitet. Hör henne om varför det är så mycket svårare att lämna ett kriminellt liv om man är med i ett gäng än om man inte är det. Vilket hon anser vara det främsta sättet att få kriminella att ändra sin livsstil. Hur hon ser på situationen med gängkriminalitet i Sverige numera. Liksom om när hon var i New York och följde det mest våldsamma gäng som någonsin funnits där.

Maurice Chammah '10, author of Let the Lord Sort Them: The Rise and Fall of the Death Penalty and journalist at the Marshall Project, has dedicated his life's work to illuminating the injustices in the American prison system through writing about individual stories while also shedding light on the larger issues at hand. Tune in today and hear how his love of writing and a class at Cornell helped inspire him to pursue the work he does today. “People who have committed really horrific crimes, even the very worst crimes, they are more than the worst thing they've ever done.” Read the episode transcript. Hosted by Camila Salazar '16. Episode photo by Tamir Kalifa. Created and produced by Amanda Massa. Music by Kia Albertson-Rogers '13, koa3@cornell.edu. Artwork by Chris Kelly. *The views expressed by Fresh from the Hill hosts and guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions or policies of Cornell University.

Check your privilege. It's a phrase that you've likely heard, but what does it really mean? Prior to her involvement in Cornell's Intergroup Dialogue Project (IDP), Sydney Mann '18 didn't like the term. Who's to judge what privilege one may have based on the color of their skin? But through having tough conversations and listening instead of taking up space in those talks, Sydney started to understand the privilege white women hold in America. She now devotes her time to allyship through her work with From Privilege to Progress and in her personal life. “When you have a white person uplifting a person of color or somebody who's marginalized, more white people are going to listen.” Read the episode transcript. Hosted by Camila Salazar '16. Created and produced by Amanda Massa. Music by Kia Albertson-Rogers '13, koa3@cornell.edu. Artwork by Chris Kelly. *The views expressed by Fresh from the Hill hosts and guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions or policies of Cornell University.

The journey post-film school is not an easy one. And that's why Dawn Kamoche '07 recommends you think long and hard before deciding it's the route for you. Her experience was not smooth sailing, as is the plight of many aspiring filmmakers. After graduating in 2007, it was HARD for anyone to find a job, let alone someone going into the ever-competitive film industry; “Go to an Ivy League they said. You'll get a good job, your future will be set. And it wasn't.” But Dawn's undergrad from Cornell as a double major in Film and Africana Studies, along with a chance encounter with a former professor who believed in one of her scripts, set Dawn up for success as a story teller. She's now an award-winning writer and director, known for projects like Sharp Objects, The Gifted, and Cloak & Dagger. Read the episode transcript. Hosted by Camila Salazar '16. Created and produced by Amanda Massa. Music by Kia Albertson-Rogers '13, koa3@cornell.edu. Artwork by Chris Kelly. *The views expressed by Fresh from the Hill hosts and guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions or policies of Cornell University.

In 2017, with limited knowledge about cryptocurrency and bitcoin but a dream of founding her own startup, Flori Marquez '13 co-founded BlockFi. The financial services company for cryptocurrency now has over 800 employees and 500,000 clients worldwide. So what is cryptocurrency? And how is BlockFi revolutionizing it to make it more accessible to the average consumer? You're going to find out. Think earning 8% in an interest-bearing account is impossible? Think again! Is a crypto credit card a possibility for the (not so distant) future? Yes! It's Flori's love of building things from the ground up that landed her as Co-Founder and SVP of Operations at the fastest growing fintech company in history; "It's been wild." Read the episode transcript. Hosted by Camila Salazar '16. Created and produced by Amanda Massa. Music by Kia Albertson-Rogers '13, koa3@cornell.edu. Artwork by Chris Kelly. *The views expressed by Fresh from the Hill hosts and guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions or policies of Cornell University.

Through working for companies like NPR, Buzzfeed, Vox, and Stitcher, Camila Salazar '16 knows podcasting. And she's also our next host for Fresh from the Hill! Learn how she first got into podcasts (anyone heard of the show Serial?) and how she was able to make a career for herself in the podcasting world; “I saw the potential of the industry.” Read the episode transcript. Hosted, created and produced by Amanda Massa. Music by Kia Albertson-Rogers '13, koa3@cornell.edu. Artwork by Chris Kelly. *The views expressed by Fresh from the Hill hosts and guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions or policies of Cornell University.

En este episodio conversamos con María Camila Salazar, emprendedora y Wellbeing coach para emprendedores, sobre productividad. Pero no el concepto tradicional de productividad donde nos planteamos objetivos y los cumplimos a como de lugar, utilizando herramientas tecnológicas para manejar el tiempo y demás... Hablamos de productividad desde la abundancia y la felicidad, y cómo estos dos factores pueden llevar a los emprendedores a alcanzar grandes logros mientras disfrutan del proceso y enfocan sus energías en los esfuerzos correctos. El éxito de un emprendedor no debe estar solo en sus logros materiales o de negocios, está también en ser personas, buenas personas. Que ayuden a empujar el mundo. Ser productivo no se trata de imitar metodologías o querer parecerse a Elon Musk trabajando 24/7, ser productivo se trata de manejar tus proyectos desde la abundancia y no desde la escasez...what!?? Sí! escucha el episodio para entender este concepto que Maria Camila nos explica a la perfección. Maria Camila es Politóloga de la universidad de los Andes en Bogotá, Colombia. Ha tenido una gran experiencia trabajando con emprendedores en diferentes universidades y programas de incubación y aceleración. Actualmente trabaja para Torre, la plataforma de reclutamiento que está transformando la manera de conectar talento con oportunidades de trabajo remotas al rededor del mundo. No se lo pierdan! y si les gusta recuerden que nos puedes apoyar para seguir contando las historias de nuestros emprendedores, y lo más importante en español! Nos encuentras también en: Instagram: @xtrategiapodcast Página Web: www.xtrategia.co Correo electrónico: hola@xtrategia.co Escucha el episodio completo en la app de iVoox, o descubre todo el catálogo de iVoox Originals

Hello and welcome to the FIRST episode of Baby Got Bach! Today we're recapping S25E01 aka the season 25 premiere aka the Intro to Matt James! We know there's a lot of Bach Nation podcasts out there, but where else will you hear Bachelor Meme King Brett Vergara and co host Camila Salazar chat about the differences between dildos and vibrators, discuss scientific theories behind limo entrances, and talk about religion all in one episode? Yeah, that's right, no where but here baby ;DFollow Brett on twitter and instagramFollow Camila on twitter and instagramFollow the pod on twitter and instagramEmail us! at babygotbachpod@gmail.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Baby Got Bach is a new Bachelor-nation (and beyond) podcast by Brett Vergara and Camila Salazar. Join us each week as we recap and react to our favorite reality TV moments from our favorite reality TV franchise. New episodes every Tuesday starting January 5th (Hello Matt James!) See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Cali es conocida mundialmente como la Capital de la salsa…. y con razón. Cientos de concursos, academias y bailarines se mueven el mundo de la salsa en la ciudad. En este episodio, nos adentramos en este mundo con María Camila Salazar, una bailarina de salsa profesional, que con solo 21 años ha conseguido reconocimiento internacional y no se imagina una vida si no es bailando.

Vilken förändring i kan skapas i utsatta områden genom bostadspolitiken och att bostadsbolagen tar ett brett socialt ansvar? Vad görs i dag och vad kan göras bättre? Vi pratar om hur sociala levnadsvillkor kan förbättras och om "hårda tag" i form av kontroll skapar ökad trygghet. Gäster: Anders Nordstrand, vd Sveriges Allmännytta och Camila Salazar Atías, kriminolog på Fryshuset. Programledare: Elsa Persson

Aminatou Sow and Shani Hilton are BACK and we have so much to catch up on. For example, why is everyone turning on Jameela Jamil? (I thought we liked her? Is airbrushing illegal now?) And who is Nazanin Mandi, Miguel's new wife? And our very own Royal Correspondent (who happens to be Shani) answers the tabloid's #1 question of the month: Are Kate and Meghan really feuding? Is this all a stunt? Are we as infatuated with Nick Jonas and Priyanka "Quantico" Chopra as the rest of the world seems to be? Plus, Toni Braxton on Jada Pinkett Smith's 'Red Table Talk' and...more Halsey—so many of the same topics we can't stop talking about that we...completely forget to introduce new Whos. Oh well! You'll love it anyway. Special thanks to BuzzFeed and Camila Salazar for production help. For more Who? Weekly content, subscribe to our Patreon. There's a weekly newsletter, extra episodes, and so much more. You know you want to. We're also going on tour! Buy tickets here.

Welcome to our bonus episode! Hispanic Heritage Month just wrapped up, and we decided bring producer Camila Salazar into the studio to explain her unquenchable thirst for hispanic music. Get ready for sensual lyrics, whiny men, and Drake singing in Spanish. The songs featured in today’s episode, in order of appearance, are: MIA by Bad Bunny feat. Drake Dutty Love by Don Omar feat. Natti Natasha VIP by Fito Blanko feat. Fuego & El Cata Me Rehúso by Danny Ocean Escápate Conmigo by Wisin feat. Ozuna Dicen by Matt Hunter and Lele Pons What a Bam Bam by Amara La Negra Downtown by Anitta and J Balvin Me Voy Enamorando (remix) by Chino & Nacho feat. Farruko Borro Cassette by Maluma Te Boté (Remix) by Casper, Nio García, Darell, Nicky Jam, Bad Bunny, and Ozuna If you want to go ahead and add allll these jams to your Spotify queue, here’s a handy playlist we made for you HERE. Or, search for our Thirst Aid Kit x Hispanic Heritage Month Playlist. Do you need help figuring out your next crush? Drop us a line! Leave us a message at (765) 8-THIRST (765-884-4778) with your name and what kind of crush advice you're looking for, and maybe we'll answer your question in an upcoming Thirst Sommelier. Follow us on Twitter @ThirstAidKit. Bim is @bimadew and Nichole is @tnwhiskeywoman. Find show notes, fanfic, and more on our Tumblr. Share your drabbles with us there or email them to us at thirstaidkit@slate.com. Our music is by Tanya Morgan.  For your safety, we recommend that you avoid operating heavy machinery while listening to Thirst Aid Kit.

De blodiga terrordåden i Paris, flyktingboenden som sätts i brand och rasistiska mord i en skola i Trollhättan. Rädslan breder ut sig och hatbrotten ökar. Hur ska vi våga leva i ett öppet samhälle? Direktsänd livedebatt från Kulturhuset i Stockholm med drabbade, anhöriga, experter och debattörer.  Medverkande: Leith Eskandar - bror till Lavin Eskandar som dödades i Trollhättan Saman Nazar - kusin till Leith och Lavin Eskandar Yassin Ekdahl - kommittésekreterare, nationella samordnaren mot våldsbejakande extremism Idris Ahmedi - statsvetare vid Stockholms Universitet och Försvarshögskolan Fanna Ndow Norrby - författare och grundare av instagramkontot @svartkvinna Lisa Bjurwald - journalist och författare som granskat högerextrema rörelser Ibrahim Bouraleh - ordförande för islamiska förbundet i Järva Maude Fröberg - Pressansvarig Svenska Röda korset, som startat en stödtelefon för att förebygga våldsbejakande extremism Camila Salazar - kriminolog och verksamhetsansvarig på Fryshuset Magnus Sandelin - journalist och författare som granskat extremism och jihadism Per Sverkersson - nattvandrare i Tärnsjö Programledare: Alexandra Pascalidou Här hittar du kvällens dialogforum.