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35 episodes with Jon Arbuckle
3 episodes with Jon Arbuckle
2 episodes with Jon Arbuckle
2 episodes with Jon Arbuckle
2 episodes with Jon Arbuckle
Briahna Joy Gray booted from her job for crimes against zionistic propaganda.Joe Brandon one million percent shat himself on stage while memorializing D-Day.LGBT-GOP? Delusional or really delusional?Dark Brandon pleases Blue MAGA by doing exactly what Red MAGA wants.Nikki Haley signs munitions ("Finish them!") that will be or already certainly have been dropped on the heads of non-combatants/non-humans in Gaza.The Biden-Harris campaign motto seems a tad ominous and nearly the same as Nikki Haley's aforementioned autograph/wish written on a bomb.Joe Rogan delves into the Black psyche and makes insightful political predictions.Trump gets booed at Libertarian National Convention.Nick Fuentes and his Groyper Army will take their voting block elsewhere, thankyouverymuch, Mr. Trump, sir.Alex Jones loses everything, sorta.Lunatic libetarian anarcho-capitalist president of Argentina, Javier Milei, is a spectacular failure.Jesus Christ is now Mexico's new First Gentleman.Hasbara AI art is going so hard right now and Israel's gonna #takebackthewatermelon. Jim Davis clears up 34 year long confusion about Jon Arbuckle drinking dog semen in a cartoon strip...or does it raise more questions than answers?Commiserate on Discord: discord.gg/aDf4Yv9PrYSupport: patreon / buzzsproutNever Forget: standwithdanielhale.orgGeneral RecommendationsJosh's Recommendation: Godzilla Minus OneTim's Recommendation: Wet Hot American Dragon SummerFurther Reading, Viewing, ListeningFull list of links, sources, etc More From Timothy Robert BuechnerPodcast: Q&T ARETweets: @ROHDUTCHLocationless Locationsheatdeathpod.comEvery show-related link is corralled and available here.Twitter: @heatdeathpodPlease send all Letters of Derision, Indifference, Inquiry, Mild Elation, et cetera to: heatdeathoftheuniversepodcast@gmail.comSupport the Show.
Pat and Mags go full Haskell and Qbert this week to talk summer movies, which includes: What Year Is It? aunt island, Jon Arbuckle, Festerosa, a Ziggy movie, what's a date?, submarine levers, it buttons at the bosoms pull, the one eyed onion, relitigating the moon, the twisters are back, Colleen Bissell and Menace Spade. TW: Diane Keating's summer staples Aunt Pat - Colleen Doyle Auntie Mags - Dana Quercioli Outro - Dana Quercioli Artwork - Jordan Stafford Editor - Colleen Doyle Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-babymakers/support Sponsorships: on for this episode --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-babymakers/support
“You pay your mortgage for the year and you just show up and do nothing.” - Chris, on major celebrities voice acting On this week's episode, we're chatting about the barely-feature-length sequel, Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties! How in the world did Jon Arbuckle not sense two live animals in his luggage? Is Billy Connolly good in this movie? Shouldn't it have been against the law to play this much Black Eyed Peas on a film soundtrack? How eerie is it for Jon to secretly follow/stalk Liz to England? And how do you have all these adorable barnyard animals and they're not the U.S. Acres friends? Missed opportunity! PLUS: Chris weighs in on the all-new The Garfield Movie starring everyone's favorite Mario, Chris Pratt! Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties stars Breckin Meyer, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Billy Connolly, Ian Abercrombie, Roger Rees, Lucy Davies, and the voices of Bill Murray, Bob Hoskins, Sharon Osbourne, Joe Pasquale, Jane Leeves, Roscoe Lee Browne, Richard E. Grant, Vinnie Jones, Rhys Ifans, Jim Piddock, and Tim Curry as Prince the Cat; directed by Tim Hill. This episode is brought to you in part by Ladder! Go to Ladder Life dot com slash whm today to see if you're instantly approved. That's L-A-D-D-E-R Life dot com slash WHM… Ladder Life dot com slash WHM. Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new SHEENPRIL, Night Vision & Too Old For This Shit designs!
After nearly half a century in the funny pages, Garfield remains mostly as Jim Davis first drew him: a lazy tabby with a taste for lasagna, a distaste for Mondays, and a droll ambivalence towards his owner, Jon Arbuckle. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Is there more to Garfield's Jon Arbuckle? Join us as we rewind for a new perspective... FIND EVERYTHING ON⬇
On this day in 1985, “Garfield's Halloween Adventure” aired for the first time on CBS.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Dans cet épisode, on discute (entre autres) d'offrir de l'eau à ses invités, les jouets pour adultes, Jon Arbuckle dans Garfield, la poterie, Grosse Douceur, le Comiccon et le burlesque ainsi que les chips dangereuses d'Elon Musk.
Mondays, am I right?You're better off just staying in bed and listening to this podcast about Garfield.Also, eat a lasagna.
Ali discusses A Garfield Christmas Special written by Jim Davis and directed by Phil Roman and George Singer.
Sometimes the classic techniques hold up the best. For example, we don't need all these fancy visual effects in modern movies - just put a spaceship on some fishing line for a much cheaper and just as effective result. So what do we do when we need to make towers topple and boys fly? Well if it was good enough for Hollywood it's good enough for us. Zach introduces the wildest Hotel Transylvania character, Jared wants to do a flubber, and Adam's greatest scam story is revealed. Talking Points Include: Scooter Talk, Naked Biking, Big Jenga Stategies, Masterclass With Nana, Garfield Jenga, Creepy Sex Foot, Panda Manning, The Dancing Bean
August 05, 1978 https://www.gocomics.com/garfield/1978/08/05 In which the concept of content is discussed at great length, Catherine leaves Guy alone to read hobo slang, many interruptions are suffered, and Jon Arbuckle looks off his blimmin' rocker. I quite like this episode, you know?
*Re Broadcast from 3-8-2020 Cloverleaf Radio's host The Host with the Most Jimmy Falcon welcomes back his longtime friend AND inspiration to get into radio, Voiceover Actor Wally Wingert, on this, our 12 Year Anniversary Show! Wally Wingert (born May 6, 1961)[1] is an American voice actor and former radio personality.[2] His roles include Almighty Tallest Red in Invader Zim, Renji Abarai in Bleach, Kotetsu T. Kaburagi / Wild Tiger in Tiger & Bunny, The Riddler in the Batman: Arkham series, the mascot of H.H. Gregg and Jon Arbuckle since 2007 and in The Garfield Show. Wally Wingert --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jianetwork/support
The eggnog has kicked in! Im zweiten Teil des coronafreien Jahresrückblicks wird das beliebteste Podcast-Duo seit Garfield und Jon Arbuckle zunehmend wilder und haben zu Beginn den selbstreferenziellen Teil des vergangenen Jahres im Gepäck. Die Länge weist auf eine gewisse Ausfranzung gen Ende hin und das nicht zu unrecht! Doch good news: es finden Squid Game, Laschets Lachen und natürlich wieder mal Kassier:innen ihren Platz.
What happened to Jon Arbuckle's nose? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/not-stalgia-podcast/message
Listen to Wally and Karina talk everything "Hollywood" in this episode! Wally Wingert is an American voice actor, collector and comedic actor from South Dakota. He is most well-known for voicing the Riddler in several Batman video games and cartoons, dozens of characters in Family Guy, Ant-Man from Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, Almighty Tallest Red and Mortos der Soulstealer in Invader Zim, Renji Abarai in Bleach, Green Eyed Skeleton Man in Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed and Jon Arbuckle in Garfield.
This week (Not So) Live from Asteroid G takes a look at a C-list celebrity: Breckin Meyer. Known for his time on Clueless, his stint on Franklin and Bash, and those times he sadly played Jon Arbuckle in the godawful Garfield films, we ask, what happened to Breckin Meyer?
Truly Inconsequential - Not all characters are created equal. Mr. Greer and Brimstone of The Grindhouse Radio debate this week's zeroes in front of a live audience. It'll be determined in real time who will remain inconsequential, and who may be liberated back into the hero's category. This week they argue Jon Arbuckle from Garfield; as well as David Seville from Alvin and the Chipmunks. Seriously, when you talk about bad pet owners, we're surprised that these two don't come up more often than not. Question is, who will remain truly inconsequential.
Truly Inconsequential - Not all characters are created equal. Mr. Greer and Brimstone of The Grindhouse Radio debate this week's zeroes in front of a live audience. It'll be determined in real time who will remain inconsequential, and who may be liberated back into the hero's category. This week they argue Jon Arbuckle from Garfield; as well as David Seville from Alvin and the Chipmunks. Seriously, when you talk about bad pet owners, we're surprised that these two don't come up more often than not. Question is, who will remain truly inconsequential.
Truly Inconsequential - Not all characters are created equal. Mr. Greer and Brimstone of The Grindhouse Radio debate this week's zeroes in front of a live audience. It'll be determined in real time who will remain inconsequential, and who may be liberated back into the hero's category. This week they argue Jon Arbuckle from Garfield; as well as David Seville from Alvin and the Chipmunks. Seriously, when you talk about bad pet owners, we're surprised that these two don't come up more often than not. Question is, who will remain truly inconsequential.
Who have two thumbs and an opinion about Stephanie Perkins's new YA horror novel, 'The Woods Are Always Watching'? Jake and Carrie do! Welcome to a new HOT TAKE SPECIAL, in which Jake speculates that Jon Arbuckle (of Garfield fame)'s old roommate was a serial killer, and Carrie points out a downside to stickshifts that many might overlook. The episode (and the book) has some kind of graphic descriptions of body trauma, so be aware of that. Also we definitely describe the plot in some detail. Spoilers ahoy! If you have any comments or suggestions, join us on our Goodreads page at https://www.goodreads.com/group/show/188869-love-ya-like-crazy, or tweet to us at https://twitter.com/loveYApod, or email us at podcast at loveYAlikecrazy.com. We'd love to hear from you! Thanks to Shaenon K. Garrity for designing the Love YA Like Crazy icon, to the Sentimental Favorites for the use of their song 'Hey There', and to Charlie McCarron for the 'Love YA Like Crazy' tag. Josh Woodward's song 'Josie Has The Upper Hand' is used under a Creative Commons 4.0 Attribution license. You can help support production of this podcast, and get rewards in return, via our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/loveYAlikecrazy .
Oh man...okay we really put ourselves in our own personalized hells for this one...to be fair, Justin put everyone in a hell of his creation in this one. This week, Jon Arbuckle learns all about the world of Furries. That's all. I don't want to say anything else. Listen at your own discretion. If you like what you hear, check out our other episodes, and follow us on Instagram @pitchthispod and Twitter @pitch_this_podcast for more antics and other fun upcoming projects!
Bussy is an American comic strip created by Niel Degrassi Tyson. Originally published locally as Jon in 1976, then in nationwide syndication from 1978 as Bussy, it chronicles the life of the title character, Bussy the cat; Jon Arbuckle, his human owner; and Drake, the dog
This week, dem boys are talking about the overlooked and underloved 2020 film: Horse Girl. Directed by Jeff Baena, co-written by Baena and Alison Brie, and staring Brie. It's the story of a socially awkward young woman who has some. . .issues. Meanwhile, Billy is given the Jon Arbuckle test and Brad reveals another one of his childhood crushes.
Shelley Stoker (Sam Rager) and Bob Walton (Santiago Iglesias) discuss Valentine's Day and rescuing pets. They reveal the eulogies for Live Stand-up Comedy, Pop from Hop on Pop, Jon Arbuckle, and Garfield.Matt Levy eulogized Live Stand-up Comedy. Matt is a 1988-born stand-up & sketch comedian, cancer survivor, and lifelong Night at the Roxbury fan. Hailing from Arizona, Matt moved to New York in 2013 to pursue comedy full-time. We know. Very brave! Along with performing all over the City and at festivals like The Beast Village Comedy Festival (Des Moines), The Park Slope Comedy Festival (Park Slope), and Motor City Comedy Festival (Detroit) to name a few. Matt hosts a monthly birthday-party themed stand-up show called, "It's Everybody's Birthday" at the Standing Room in Long Island City and writes a weekly blog called “Comedy Stray Notes.”Twitter: @MattLevy51Insta: @maturday_night_liveJames Couture eulogized Pop from Hop on Pop. James is a Lansing, Michigan-based comic and a member of Salsa Parlor (a group of hilarious comics who produce shows and sketches. He is a contributor to Savage Henry Independent Times. James is available for Quinceañeras and bat mitzvahs. No Corporate Parties.YouTube: @SalsaParlorInsta: @secretbeefcake, @SalsaParlorKyle Lewis is a Comedian and Entertainer, born and raised from the non-gentrified parts of Brooklyn, New York. He has been featured at New York Comedy Club and Dangerfield's and has made several appearances at Caroline's, Broadway Comedy Club, and various places in New York City. When he is not performing or pointing at brightly colored signs, Kyle is the host of his own comedy show, Character Select, in NYC. Can't make it to a show? That's okay! Kyle has an internet presence that you'd be proud to keep in your browser history! Kyle has made appearances on popular web series, shows, and podcasts, including SiriusXM's "Busted Open Radio," Barstool Sports' "Chap & Kate," and is even the host of his own pop-culture podcast, "Anything But Generic." Does Kyle make his own content? You bet he does! Kyle is also the co-owner and creator of KLYK Productions, which is the home of "The Fun Factor," the YouTube gaming series featuring entertainers and comedians playing video games and talking about life. And Three Man Booth, a website devoted to the more comedic side of pro wrestling and entertainment.Twitter: @KeepItFiveStarInsta: @KeepItFiveStar
EPISODE 15 – THE CHIPMUNK ADVENTURE Show favorite Ashley returns to the podcast to discuss the creepy, racist, high-pitched nightmare that is The Chipmunk Adventure! This week, Brian is the Jon Arbuckle of Jon Arbuckles; Brandon discovers mind-blowing information about the Chipette’s parentage; Ashley turns traitor; and Chris is as mad as hell and he’s not gonna take it anymore! Plus: We announce our upcoming theme months! (Shout-out to The Stephen Queens podcast for the inspiration: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-stephen-queens-podcast/id1527179109) Starring: Ross Bagdasarian Jr., Janice Karman, Dody Goodman, Susan Tyrrell, Anthony De Longis, Frank Welker, Ken Sansom, and Nancy Cartwright Directed by Janice Karman FOLLOW US:Instagram (@trashwatchpodcast)Twitter (@trashwatchcast)Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/trashwatchpodcast/)Email (trashwatchpodcast@gmail.com)Listen to Brian’s music at (https://soundcloud.com/brianbhorne)
Matty P Radio Presents: Marks v. Pros & Saturday Morning Cereal
The POWcast! is back and aims to bring you a nostalgic look back at the movies, shows, and people from your childhood that made you who you are today. In Jimmy’s case that was the Batman 66 TV show that inspired a never ending celebration of all things Retro, Cool, and maybe a little Nerdy. This episode expands the conversation a bit with someone that is a pretty big get for the humble POWcast. The twists and turns of the conversation deserve more than just his thoughts on Batman 66, But don’t worry he’ll get there. Wally, Dan, and Jimmy recorded this interview back during the dog days of summer and for various reasons, both in and out of the show's control, it has taken some time to put this episode together. Presented for your aproval, the voice behind Jon Arbuckle, Naratu, Family Guy, Almighty Tallest Red, and the Riddler voice actor extraordinaire, Wally Wingert. Once again the “Bat-Time Contrivance” is utilized and set it for Spring of 2017. A-lister Diedrich Bader stops for a brief, but heartfelt exchange regarding the season finale of Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Helping pull all these thoughts into a cohesive thought is the co host from another mother Dan, the Grim Shea, So get comfy, plug in your favorite set of headphones and enjoy this dive deep into nostalgia with two of the most prolific voice actors in the latest exciting episode of the Retro Cool Nerd POWcast! The Music samples from “The Flying Horse Big Band, and the Batman Soundtrack by Nelson Riddle and Neil Hefti. "Adam West" (1989) was credited to Wally Wingert & The Caped Club. Episode #4 of the POWcast has been written, recorded, & produced by Jimmy The Gent in Wayne Study Studios for Saturday Morning Cereal productions.
Pookie is here to stay! Nick and Lance recap, rate and rank the 128th Garfield comic strip from October 24, 1978! To no one's surprise, Jon Arbuckle is acting weird. Today's Garfield comic: https://www.gocomics.com/garfield/1978/10/24 Send us an email with your Garfield memories to HungryCatDaily@gmail.com! Our episodes are also available as videos on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hungrycatdaily And Facebook: http://facebook.com/HungryCatDaily Follow us on Twitter at https://twitter.com/HungryCatDaily! Music: VHS Dreams by Shane Ivers - https://www.silvermansound.com Artwork by Addison Billingsley
We got sidetracked (classic us) and started quoting the movie 'Heavyweights' for like 2 minutes on the show today. So if you like that movie you'll love the podcast today! Also on the show: Old people love talking about tires, Jon Arbuckle's veterinarian probably hates him, start leaving more positive reviews, & the best sleep positions.
It's another lasagna one. Nick and Lance are joined by comedian Steph Leschek to recap, rate and rank the eighty-seventh Garfield comic strip from September 13, 1978! Steph tells us about her new sketch comedy web series Unhinged and we tell her who Jon Arbuckle is. Check out Unhinged on YouTube: http://unhinged.link/watch And find Steph on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leschekitout/ Today's Garfield comic: https://www.gocomics.com/garfield/1978/09/13 Send us an email with your Garfield memories to HungryCatDaily@gmail.com! Our episodes are also available as videos on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hungrycatdaily And Facebook: http://facebook.com/HungryCatDaily Follow us on Twitter at https://twitter.com/HungryCatDaily! Music: VHS Dreams by Shane Ivers - https://www.silvermansound.com Artwork by Addison Billingsley
Nick and Lance are joined by comedian, writer and podcaster Cait Raft to recap, rate and rank the sixty-fourth Garfield comic strip from August 21, 1978! Cait is the artist behind Joey Clift's incendiary ANTIFA Garfield meme: https://twitter.com/joeytainment/status/1275823585156726784 She also drew a comic written by Joey Clift where Goose The Cat from Captain Marvel ate Jon Arbuckle from Garfield: https://twitter.com/joeytainment/status/1120344210375241730 Follow Cait on Instagram and Twitter @caitraft and check out her podcast This Podcast is Self Care or her Twitch shows Hot and Rich and Jack AM, also available as podcasts! Today's Garfield comic: https://www.gocomics.com/garfield/1978/08/21 Send us an email with your Garfield memories to HungryCatDaily@gmail.com! Our episodes are also available as videos on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hungrycatdaily And Facebook: http://facebook.com/HungryCatDaily Follow us on Twitter at https://twitter.com/HungryCatDaily! Music: VHS Dreams by Shane Ivers - https://www.silvermansound.com Artwork by Addison Billingsley
We end our countdown to Christmas in July by badly dancing back to 1989 to celebrate the unofficial start of the holiday shopping season in “Garfield’s Thanksgiving,” the clear bronze medalist of Garfield’s holiday trilogy, thanks to Jon Arbuckle going from goofy pet owner to gaslighting, mansplaining, hopelessly inept creep.On This EpisodeMike Westfall (@fallwestmike), 10 minutes into a diet and have already lost his sense of humor.Jeff Somogyi (@sommerjam), a motivational electronic talking scale that’s also a film enthusiast, from Talkin’ Chopp.Topics and TangentsOrson the Pig from “U.S. Acres” makes a cameo in Liz’s waiting room.The dumbest things we’ve done to get a date pale in comparison to Jon holding his breath until Liz concedes to going out with him. Hey, y’all, don’t do that. Please.Pat Carroll is back as Grandma in her 2nd greatest vocal performance of November 1989.Julie Payne (Liz) was also briefly the voice of another cartoon doctor, Janice N!Godatu, from the other animated segment of “The Tracey Ullman Show.”A brief history of sock garters.This special confirms Jon can’t hear Garfield speaking, but somehow Garfield’s computerized scale with the fat-shaming jokes can hear him.The best of Calvin’s dad from “Calvin and Hobbes,” in example.Grandma Arbuckle’s Sweet Potatoes, as prepared by Dinosaur Dracula.Cranberry sauce tastes better when it’s shaped like the inside of a can.Desirée Goyette, the female singing voice in Garfield’s specials and also the voice of Nermal, also sang the title theme to “It’s Flashbeagle, Charlie Brown.”Previous Podcast Episodes MentionedA Garfield Christmas Special (Season 2, Episode 6)Garfield’s Halloween Adventure (Season 2, Bonus)“Garfield’s Thanksgiving” © 1989 United Feature Syndicate, Inc./Anderson Digital.Commercial Break: Garfield Alpo Cat Food Commercial, 1989.The Advent Calendar House is on the web at adventcalendar.house, on Twitter @adventcalhouse, and part of the Christmas Podcast Network.
In this episode, we talk about how the internet and society look at Garfield. We also talk about the anxiety of Jon Arbuckle and how Jim Davis might respond to the internet. Our "special guest" this week is Dylan Armao, here is his Super Mario Maker 2 code : Q3D-5KK-BXG Links to videos mentioned: Lasagna Cat: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLF54E9FFC80199CFB Inside a Mind: https://youtu.be/5XUwkfxN34k Garfeld the Musical: https://youtu.be/x4-lNQHxSfI Quinton Reviews: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG6y6FkMEQ4 Check out our merch store it's at shopgibgib.threadless.com you can find GarfCast merch and merch from our other projects. Email us at theofficialgarfcast@gmail.com Twitter https://twitter.com/CastGarf Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thegarfcast/ Our Podcast Page https://anchor.fm/garfcast See you next week. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/garfcast/support
In 1922, Harry Truman sat in his mother-in-law’s house in small town Missouri, contemplating the failure that had been his life. He was nearly 40; behind him lay a string of failed businesses and unfulfilling odd-jobs. He was close to bankrupt, deeply in debt, and looked down upon by his wife’s elitist family. Aside from one brief stint in the Army, he had never lived outside his one horse town. He was, in short, a loser. A man who had failed at life so thoroughly even Jon Arbuckle would appear an overachieving Hercules next to him.
In our second episode of the GarfCast, we make ourselves depressed talking about the sad, sad life of one Jon Arbuckle. We also discuss the future of Garfield and what that means for the franchise. In this episode, we have a very special guest. GILBERT GARCIA, yes Gilbert is his real name. We kind of just trash on him in this one. Email us with questions for future episodes or comments about the show: theofficialgarfcast@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter: @castgarf Follow us on Instagram: @thegarfcast --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/garfcast/support
Garfield Kart is a truly transcendent experience capable of arousing emotions humans didn't even know they had. The game details the role of Jon Arbuckle and his life in the USSR where he discovered a very fat orange cat who had been eating his weekly rations; the titular Garfield. The story then follows Jon and Garfield's adventures throughout history, detailing their roles in events such as the Rwandan Genocide of 1994 and Garfield's modern day trafficking ring in southern India. Playing Garfield Kart for varying amounts of time also results in various effects on the human body and mind. A modest few hours of the game alone can result in an increased sperm count, greater flexibility in the limbs and the ability to hold an erection for 12 hours. If you continue to play after this, you will experience effects such as the ability to levitate, complete knowledge and understanding of the universe, and the ability to impregnate women simply by looking at them. Garfield Kart has changed my life for the better. lasaga By the way, we would love for you to send us questions, comments, concerns, tips, tricks, nitpicks, pejorative statements, debate topics, quips, podcast topics, interesting ideas, CinemaSins™, kerfuffles, weird pizza toppings, or anything else that pops into that beautiful mind of yours at thedownloadpod@gmail.com! Also, we would love for you to join our Discord, follow us on the podcast network of your choice, and rate our podcast! Links to all of these things can be found here: https://linktr.ee/thedownloadpod --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-download-podcast/support
Julia and Geoffrey realize they totally forgot to discuss the Garfield's Thanksgiving songs in the main episode for this week, so they start there before moving on to commercials and … other things. First, the opening theme. Because the more you eat, the more grateful you will feel… Next, the song that plays while they actually eat, "Thanksgiving Everyday" -- Geoffrey calls this a glurge. Julia points out that Dr. Liz is a terrible vet, because dogs should never eat corn cobs. They can't digest them and end up with intestinal blockages. Dr. Liz puts a corn on the cob on Odie's plate! Is that a murderous gleam in her cartoon side-eye? Lasagna Cat, as Geoffrey notes, is kind of hard to explain. You can find it by searching Lasagna Cat on YouTube.And Julia also mentioned Garfield Minus Garfield, which led Geoffrey to bring up Square Root of Minus Garfield (though he didn't quite remember the name).Of course this wouldn't be After These Messages if we didn't also watch commercials. We checked out the Peanuts MetLife Thanksgiving Commercial from 1989. Of course, half of the kids are dressed in appropriative Native American costumes, which is a shame, but also ever pervasive. As Native visual artist Valerie Reynoso pointed out in an article about costumes, "…appropriation trivializes the brutal history of colonization of the Americas and its legacy today ... [and] sustains the Western idea that Native attire is only acceptable when worn by a white person and when viewed under a colonial gaze."Anyway, this commercial was basically a bunch of cartoon Peanuts characters singing a Thanksgiving song … which Geoffrey actually knew! Geoffrey called it "Harvest Home" though "Come Ye Thankful People, Come" may be the actual title. Julia had no idea this song was a thing. But this did lead Julia to reminisce about a song from a middle school winter concert called "Feast of Lights"This then led to Julia and Geoffrey arguing about whether "O Come O Come Emmanuel" is a gorgeous song (Julia) or just the worst (Geoffrey). Who do you stand with on this, the most important issue of 2019?Other songs discussed include "Here Comes Santa Claus" (which Geoffrey says is too religious, while Julia apparently never actually paid any attention to the lyrics) and "Santa Baby" (whose utterly charming composer is Jewish, and also Julia's mother met him once on a train).Okay, we know. You didn't come here for the extended examination of holiday seasonal music. You came for the commercials! We watched some commercials from Thanksgiving 1989, which featured a bumper Geoffrey remembered from the Muppet Babies! We watched through three commercial breaks (about 6 minutes and 20 seconds), which included Precious Places, a sweet Hot Wheels Car Wash, Honeycomb cereal, a Ghostbusters play set, and a commercial for the movie The Little Mermaid, which was in theaters! If you listened to this week's main episode, you'll understand why this excited us so much. Ursula the sea witch is Jon Arbuckle's grandma!The kind of crab Geoffrey was thinking of was not a hermit crab, but a fiddler crab, by the way.
Julia and Geoffrey realize they totally forgot to discuss the Garfield’s Thanksgiving songs in the main episode for this week, so they start there before moving on to commercials and … other things. First, the opening theme.Because the more you eat, the more grateful you will feel… Next, the song that plays while they actually eat, “Thanksgiving Everyday”Geoffrey calls this a glurge. Julia points out that Dr. Liz is a terrible vet, because dogs should never eat corn cobs. They can’t digest them and end up with intestinal blockages. Image Description: Dr. Liz puts a corn on the cob on Odie’s plate. Is that a murderous gleam in her cartoon side-eye?One instance of Lasagna Cat, which, as Geoffrey notes, is kind of hard to explain. You can find more by searching Lasagna Cat on YouTube.And Julia also mentioned Garfield Minus Garfield, which led Geoffrey to bring up Square Root of Minus Garfield (though he didn’t quite remember the name).Of course this wouldn’t be After These Messages if we didn’t also watch commercials, so here’s the Peanuts MetLife Thanksgiving Commercial from 1989.Of course, half of the kids are dressed in appropriative Native American costumes, which is a shame, but also ever pervasive. If you want to read more about why this sort of dress up isn’t cool, here’s an article by a Native visual artist named Valerie Reynoso about costumes. It’s framed as a Halloween article, but the practice applies to this sort of situation as well. As Reynoso explains, “…appropriation trivializes the brutal history of colonization of the Americas and its legacy today. When European colonizers settled in the Americas, Native peoples of these regions were forced to assimilate into European cultures…” and, “[Appropriation] sustains the Western idea that Native attire is only acceptable when worn by a white person and when viewed under a colonial gaze.”Reynoso also highlights some Native designers and their work, which is pretty cool! Anyway, this commercial was basically a bunch of cartoon Peanuts characters singing a Thanksgiving song … which Geoffrey actually knew! Geoffrey called it “Harvest Home” though “Come Ye Thankful People, Come” may be the actual title. Julia had no idea this song was a thing. But this did lead Julia to reminisce about a song from a middle school winter concert called “Feast of Lights”, here performed by the Stanford Intermediate Chorus. Did any of those kids go home feeling like this was their favorite song of the winter concert?This then led to Julia and Geoffrey arguing about whether “O Come O Come Emmanuel” is a gorgeous song (Julia) or just the worst (Geoffrey). Who do you stand with on this, the most important issue of 2019?Other songs discussed include “Here Comes Santa Claus” (which Geoffrey says is too religious, while Julia apparently never actually paid any attention to the lyrics) and “Santa Baby” (whose utterly charming composer is Jewish, and also Julia’s mother met him once on a train).Okay, we know. You didn’t come here for the extended examination of holiday seasonal music. You came for the commercials! Here’s some commercials from Thanksgiving 1989, which featured a bumper Geoffrey remembered from the Muppet Babies! We watched through three commercial breaks (about 6 minutes and 20 seconds), which included Precious Places, a sweet Hot Wheels Car Wash, Honeycomb cereal, a Ghostbusters play set, and a commercial for the movie The Little Mermaid, which was in theaters! If you listened to this week’s main episode, you’ll understand why this excited us so much. Ursula the sea witch is Jon Arbuckle’s grandma!The kind of crab Geoffrey was thinking of was not a hermit crab, but a fiddler crab, by the way. This is a public episode. Get access to private episodes at thisiswhywerelikethis.substack.com/subscribe
A very sexy doctor gives Asterios very bad news. Sirancha guesses what's in Jon Arbuckle's Marinara Sauce. And both play a dangerous meme-based workplace icebreaker... * * * Support THE LOUDEST PODCAST! Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/asterios iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-loudest-podcast/id1382951937 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6NPjuVErySvaCor8tvQwLa * * * Send us crazy stuff: 8801 5th Ave PO Box 90700 Brooklyn, NY 11209-9997 * * * Buy stuff through Amazon and we get paid for it here: https://www.amazon.com/?&_encoding=UTF8&tag=asterios08-20
Sometimes you just gotta play with your toys. This week, through a haze of foggy memories and pounding heads, Paul and Alex get some advice from the field on appreciating the things you've created even when they're just works in progress. Also, Jon Arbuckle gets his own Stamp podcast, Paul wears mittens for three weeks, and Alex takes artistic pictures of drugs. https://garfield.com/comic/2013/12/13
Mastery, Action, Accomplishment. These are the attributes of the eight of sausages. It's no wonder we spend a massive chunk of the episode talking about Dwayne Johnson and his many action accomplishments. Paul and Alex talk overextending yourself, learning to say no, and the perils of trying to no scope your generosity. Also, Jon Arbuckle has some low ass nipples. https://garfield.com/comic/1979/06/20
Welcome to Being Jim Davis, a podcast about Jon Arbuckle's philtrum. Your hosts for today's episode: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage
In today's Being Jim Davis we argue about whether or not Jon Arbuckle is a boat. Your hosts for today's episode: Jon Gibson, Christopher Winter. Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage
The long awaited return of Jon Arbuckle's infamous Depression Chair was neither long nor awaited! Your hosts for today's episode: Jon Gibson, Christopher Winter, Jessie Cooper. Jessie Cooper is the host of your 2nd and 3rd favorite podcasts, Alphabet Flight and Creepy Critters Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage
Wally Wingert is considered one of the top talents in the voice-over industry. With credits like “Family Guy,” “King of the Hill,” “The Simpsons,” “Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes,” “Tiger and Bunny,” and countless other TV shows, movies and videogames, his vocal and acting skills are in constant demand. His best known roles have included Jon Arbuckle in "The Garfield Show," Almighty Tallest Red in "Invader Zim," and Renji Abarai in "Bleach." He is the voice of the Riddler in the "Batman: Arkham" video game series, "Lego DC Super Villains," and the animated movies "Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders" and "Batman vs. Two-Face." Wally was the announcer and voice artist for "The Jay Leno Show" and "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" and currently voices comedy bits for the "Ellen" Degeneres show, among his many other projects. He is an actor, singer, producer, writer, and former radio personality... an accomplished puppeteer and make up artist, known as the Man of 999 Faces. Wally has performed live all over the country (from New Orleans to Miami to New York and beyond). During his career, he has worked for every major movie studio and television network. His hobbies include collecting animation art and autographs, drawing, costuming, collectible toys, rock and roll, and beautiful women (not necessarily in that order). He has been active in various children's charities and others. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/spotlightwithmarkstarks/support
Teresa and Panda are excited for Detective Pikachu. Topics include: Simon and Garfunkel, new Pokemon starters, Garfield, songfics, plagiarism
In today's Being Jim Davis, we finally dig into Jon Arbuckle's weird habit of leaving roast turkeys sitting around all over his house and its possible connection with Den Mother's enforcer, the sentient and carnivorous purpole cloud. Hosts: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage
For our third match we see our first ever blowout and some real head scratchers. Spoiler Warning! Today the biggest loser in funny pages goes up against a brilliant mechanized man, then the leader of the Sailor Scouts has to come face to face with the greatest sidekick and best friend fiction has ever offered.Match 1: Bernard Lowe (Westworld) Vs. Jon Arbuckle (Garfield)Match 2: Sailor Moon Vs. Samwise Gamgee (Lord of The Rings)Match 3: Match 1 Winner Vs. Match 2 Winner (listen to find out who it is!)Please subscribe and leave a review, let us know what you think!Keep up with usShow: @UFCPodMatt: @ShyGuyExpressChristian: @Christian_HumesYoutube: Youtube.com/ZyteHeistVideosWebsite: www.ZyteHeist.com/UFCPod Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fan fav guest co-host Dan Gibson makes his triumphant return to the annals of Being Jim Davis, and, oh brother, did WE have some fun! Actually that happened yesterday and nobody mentioned it in the writeup, but what are you gonna go? He's still here nonetheless, and you have to put up with it. Also, it wasn't all that much fun. You know, if Maine senator Susan Collins were on the program with us tonight, I'm sure she'd agree that Garfield was definitely assaulted by somebody matching Jon Arbuckle's exact description in panel 2, but damned if it isn't impossible to say with absolute certainty whether it was Jon himself. So whatever I guess! Hey, why not let's reward his technically-possibly-extant humanity by promoting him to the most powerful position in the universe? I mean it's definitely possible we're all just fucking brains in vats or whatever, amirite? nothingmattersanymoreandevilalwayswins Hosts: Jon Gibson, Danny Gibson (https://twitter.com/fasterduckworth) Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage
EPISODE 88 - Lights, Camera, BarstoolWe had a pretty fun episode talking about Brendan Fraser, IKEA, the 'Avengers 4' title, 'Venom' and our interview with Breckin Meyer. The guy played Jon Arbuckle in the 'Garfield' movies so, naturally, we showed him fucked up Garfield memes. We didn't review 'A Star Is Born' because we had some work things we can't talk about yet that got in the way, so we gave a little treat to everyone. Click here: https://www.reddit.com/r/LightsCameraPodcast/comments/9mbc8f/the_slap_ep_1_commentary_with_video/Outro Music Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/12656655/playlist/6k1ko8swEbyiyQncK8UGjM?si=jU2S06yoS563XgeP3uB9AQ ("Say Amen (Saturday Night) - Panic! at the Disc)|| RATE 2018 MOVIES || SEPTEMBER: https://goo.gl/forms/VbZhOoouq8obC4Um1 || JANUARY: https://goo.gl/forms/nNzX19HbebeQMUAA3 || FEBRUARY: https://goo.gl/forms/DWG9TJMISLzUunsu2 || MARCH: https://goo.gl/forms/k0dL5ozOrhwJ2Bk03 || APRIL: https://goo.gl/forms/Z218hqWq3XGyqi9C3 || MAY: https://goo.gl/forms/f5aYcpJHnBMmkcs52 || JUNE: https://goo.gl/forms/IgBQVwKDx4ylerJP2 || JULY: https://goo.gl/forms/BBO8aAph3fpzj8Uy2 || AUGUST: https://goo.gl/forms/0Z10YRA59m2KJwYW2
It’s time for your favorite podcast about the continuing adventures of noted cat owner Jon Arbuckle, Being Jim Davis! Unless you are reading this description after the episode has already ended, in which case: It is no longer time for your favorite podcast about the continuing adventures of noted cat owner Jon Arbuckle, Being Jim Davis! Probably it's time to lie down and have a long think about where your life is going. Hosts: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson Today's strip Become a Patron! Here are your favorite internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage
This week Jen and Brooke are drinking Dark n' Stormy's with Toronto-based photographer (and Jen's own Jon Arbuckle), Keenan Orrange. Keenan has doubled in as tech support during our many recording sesh's, saving us from flakey drunk girl tears and probably electric shock. In this episode, Brooke learns about Flat Earthers, Jen has a meltdown at a club and we debate mankles and foot sweat. During Drunk Life Advice, we give some friendly advice to "Mr. Pickle" on the topic of his pickle, and realize that someone may be repressed in "Wholesome"'s household. Join us, won't you? Pour a drink, get comfie and lock the kids in the basement. You're not drinking alone if you're listening to Drinks With Friends.
No Spoilers here but it's all been building to this and we don't mean Thanos. The Avengers will take on all comers because we're taking these fighting men and punching ladies to the Erotica corner. They'll face off against suggestions from you the listening public. It's an episode so gigantic we even brought in a special guest writer Katy Stoll! Partners of the erotic variety include 'Curious George's' Man in the Big Yellow Hat, Jon Arbuckle, and Ms. Frizzle from 'The Magic School Bus' as everyone tries to get their rocks off with their socks off. Check out our Patreon! www.patreon.com/TeamTigerAwesome There is free audio samples to enjoy and the 3 dollar level gets loads more bonus Titten Bits including Mundy's new wrestling show! Also, find out how to get your limited edition Tuff Boy Rose t-shirt @ https://teespring.com/stores/teamtigerawesome Follow Us: Twitter: @TTAwesome Instagram: Teamtigerawesome Facebook.com/Teamtigerawesome
Hi there, it's the 1980s, where all of our TV sets are from the 50s. Today the crew from Magmar Sucks continue their Reign of Terror as replacement hosts as we delve into another sad chapter in continuing saga of abuse and cruelty that is Jon Arbuckle's relationship with his cat. I would not recommend skipping this one. Hosts: Chris Taylor, Blake Smith, Mark Frazier, John Dickendasher Today's strip Check out our: Website! (It’s great) Twitter! (It’s highly informative) Facebook! (We definitely actively administrate this) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.
Hello, friends. This episode starts with an apology for how heavy the last one was, and then immediately becomes extremely heavy because we live in a nightmare world. We do our best to keep things light on this podcast as much as we can, but!!! You know!!! Fortunately, we managed to get some great goofs in about video game titties and Jon Arbuckle’s questionable but 100% canonical beverage choices. (Note: when we’re talking about Subnautica, we mistakenly refer to the Funnie Attack Helicopter Tweet as being from the lead developer – we meant sound designer. Whoops!)Featuring Luna, Evan, Matt, Patrick, and Sam.Music used:The Taxpayers – Evil Men Waka Flocka Flame – Hard in da PaintTumblr | Twitter | Facebook | Discord
Have you ever thought about how much of a dick Jon Arbuckle is? I mean, really thought about it? Here's his poor cat, starved for attention after being supplanted by a younger, hipper version of himself, desperately attempting to curry favor with the guy and all Arfuckle can do is make a crack about the latter's weight. He's a real motherfucker, I tell you. I can't remember if we mentioned philosopher Daniel C. Dennett in this particular episode, but it's about as likely as not. Hosts: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson, Amy Today's strip Check out our: Website! (You can do things there) Twitter! (It sucks) Facebook! (Whatever) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.
This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée put on their finest long-sleeved polos to read 1975's Phoenix no. 1! In the 1970s, Marvel Comics founder Martin Goodman decided to start up a new comics company, but this time populate it with boring, generic nobodies to see if that would work. The old Goodman Charm couldn't keep Atlas/Seaboard Comics afloat and it folded in about a year. What went wrong? Editorial mismanagement? External economic factors? Or was it that books like Phoenix were so dull kids fell asleep just from touching them? Meanwhile Shée receives no quarter for her complaints about primates, and how did a bunch of aliens end up with Jon Arbuckle's wardrobe anyway?Find out more at http://darkseidscouch.com
Hey everybody! We are back with a new episode and another new guest! New friend and great guy Kyle stops by to talk about beds, the Super Bowl, Jake's work, and Jon Taffer. We talk about the best one hit wonders, play a quick round of Pop Culture Trivia, and Kyle mixes drinking and collegeRead More
It's been teased for multiple seasons but we're going to finally find out where Leela comes from! And it's NOT where you'd expect. Unless you've seen this episode before, which you probably have.We also talk about where to buy goats, holiday specials, deals we've made regarding breakfast cereals, album names, Snakes on a Plane, and much more!Ben tries to garner a sponsor. Mike knows it's Jon Arbuckle.
Today we welcome on the program our first mononymic co-host, Amy! She was a great sport, in that she did NOT bail on the recording when she found out after the first episode that we were planning on doing six more. We talked about the disturbing narcissism of Jon Arbuckle, his and Jim Davis' eagerness to gaslight his audience, and which parts of a cat it is and isn't OK to touch without verbal consent. Basically it's a thoroughly average episode. Today's strip
Ah, now I remember what I stole that line about Jon Arbuckle's 'mournful ears' from. It's this. Today's strip
I'm 95% certain that Jon Arbuckle's bed-concealed abdomen is depicted as being more improbably bulbous and distended each and every time it is inflicted upon us. At its current rate of growth, some say, it will by the early 90s have expanded to fill the entire known universe. On the other hand, this is all just speculation; who knows if Garfield will even still be in print by that time? This one's not very good. Today's strip
Robocop, Baby Driver, Delaware, Dirty John, Walking Dead, urine, Karate Kid Part II, racist cheerleaders, "Maine," Popeye's chicken, Jon Arbuckle's dog semen controversy, did Schroeder fuck? Justin Timberlake, DJ Khaled, Mel Gibson, Smashing Pumpkins, Dr. Phil and Bill O'Reilly's $32 million payout. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-baller-lifestyle-podcast/exclusive-content Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In today's episode we take a trip down memory lane and discuss every appearance of Jon Arbuckle's teeth to date.Today's strip
Blah blah blah Jim Davis Garfield camping Jon Arbuckle something something. Anyway, Chase is a great guest host.Today's strip
So I'm writing this commentary before actually editing or listening to today's episode because Jon hasn't got his audio to me yet. So I'm not really sure what we talked about on the podcast. I mean, presumably we talked about Garfield and Jon Arbuckle going camping because -- SPOILER ALERT -- that's the theme for the whole week. And we probably did the drinks roundup because, y'know, Monday.Also, I definitely remember that fan-favorite guest host Chase is back on this week, so that's cool. Why not listen to Chase's new-ish tabletop role-playing podcast Another Path?Today's strip
CONTENT NOTICE: CAT POOJon Arbuckle's unfettered cruelty towards his cat takes the spotlight today in one of his most diabolical plots yet. Sure, he's delved into the use of decoy objects before in his tireless quest to bring Garfield suffering, but this particular deception attains Batman Gambit levels of trickery, paired with a well-timed panel three deployment of tactical sarcasm. It's truly a picture of depravity.Today's incidental music, "Dr. Jones" from the album Freak-Ass Bitches On My Rooftop by The Flowers of Disgust, appears courtesy of The Flowers of Disgust and Cat O' Nine Tails Records. Today's strip
Boy, you talk about a clever disguise; that isn't Jon Arbuckle after all. It's Connie Chung!Here's another Star Trek thing that exists for some reason. Today's stripDr. Sparkle's Day by Day blog
Kevin and Brian discuss horse pills, Jon Arbuckle and the milk challenge in another great episode of Holy Brocast Batman!
I know you guys have been waiting for this, and here it is: an in-depth discussion of Jon Arbuckle's nose-mouth-philtrum complex, why it exists and where it's headed over the next 38 years. But first, a solid 15 minutes of us describing our beverage choices for the recording session. You won't want to miss it!Today's striphttp://singani63.com/
One morning, when Jon Arbuckle woke from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a horrible vermin. He lay on his armour-like back, and if he lifted his head a little he could see his brown belly, slightly domed and divided by arches into stiff sections. The bedding was hardly able to cover it and seemed ready to slide off any moment. His many legs, pitifully thin compared with the size of the rest of him, waved about helplessly as he looked."What's happened to me?" he thought. It wasn't a dream. His room, a proper human room although a little too small, lay peacefully between its four familiar walls. A collection of textile samples lay spread out on the table - Arbuckle was a travelling salesman - and above it there hung a picture that he had recently cut out of an illustrated magazine and housed in a nice, gilded frame. It showed a lady fitted out with a fur hat and fur boa who sat upright, raising a heavy fur muff that covered the whole of her lower arm towards the viewer.Jon then turned to look out the window at the dull weather. Drops of rain could be heard hitting the pane, which made him feel quite sad. "How about if I sleep a little bit longer and forget all this nonsense", he thought, but that was something he was unable to do because he was used to sleeping on his right, and in his present state couldn't get into that position. However hard he threw himself onto his right, he always rolled back to where he was. He must have tried it a hundred times, shut his eyes so that he wouldn't have to look at the floundering legs, and only stopped when he began to feel a mild, dull pain there that he had never felt before."Oh, Garfield", he thought, "what a strenuous career it is that I've chosen! Travelling day in and day out. Doing business like this takes much more effort than doing your own business at home, and on top of that there's the curse of travelling, worries about making train connections, bad and irregular food, contact with different people all the time so that you can never get to know anyone or become friendly with them. It can all go to Hell!" He felt a slight itch up on his belly; pushed himself slowly up on his back towards the headboard so that he could lift his head better; found where the itch was, and saw that it was covered with lots of little white spots which he didn't know what to make of; and when he tried to feel the place with one of his legs he drew it quickly back because as soon as he touched it he was overcome by a cold shudder.He slid back into his former position. "Getting up early all the time", he thought, "it makes you stupid. You've got to get enough sleep. Other travelling salesmen live a life of luxury. For instance, whenever I go back to the guest house during the morning to copy out the contract, these gentlemen are always still sitting there eating their breakfasts. I ought to just try that with my boss; I'd get kicked out on the spot. But who knows, maybe that would be the best thing for me. If I didn't have my parents to think about I'd have given in my notice a long time ago, I'd have gone up to the boss and told him just what I think, tell him everything I would, let him know just what I feel. He'd fall right off his desk! And it's a funny sort of business to be sitting up there at your desk, talking down at your subordinates from up there, especially when you have to go right up close because the boss is hard of hearing. Well, there's still some hope; once I've got the money together to pay off my parents' debt to him - another five or six years I suppose - that's definitely what I'll do. That's when I'll make the big change. First of all though, I've got to get up, my train leaves at five."And he looked over at the alarm clock, ticking on the chest of drawers. "Garfield in Heaven!" he thought. It was half past six and the hands were quietly moving forwards, it was even later than half past, more like quarter to seven. Had the alarm clock not rung? He could see from the bed that it had been set for four o'clock as it should have been; it certainly must have rung. Yes, but was it possible to quietly sleep through that furniture-rattling noise? True, he had not slept peacefully, but probably all the more deeply because of that. What should he do now? The next train went at seven; if he were to catch that he would have to rush like mad and the collection of samples was still not packed, and he did not at all feel particularly fresh and lively. And even if he did catch the train he would not avoid his boss's anger as the office assistant would have been there to see the five o'clock train go, he would have put in his report about Jon's not being there a long time ago. The office assistant was the boss's man, spineless, and with no understanding. What about if he reported sick? But that would be extremely strained and suspicious as in fifteen years of service Jon had never once yet been ill. His boss would certainly come round with the doctor from the medical insurance company, accuse his parents of having a lazy son, and accept the doctor's recommendation not to make any claim as the doctor believed that no-one was ever ill but that many were workshy. And what's more, would he have been entirely wrong in this case? Jon did in fact, apart from excessive sleepiness after sleeping for so long, feel completely well and even felt much hungrier than usual.He was still hurriedly thinking all this through, unable to decide to get out of the bed, when the clock struck quarter to seven. There was a cautious knock at the door near his head. "Jon", somebody called - it was his mother - "it's quarter to seven. Didn't you want to go somewhere?" That gentle voice! Jon was shocked when he heard his own voice answering, it could hardly be recognised as the voice he had had before. As if from deep inside him, there was a painful and uncontrollable squeaking mixed in with it, the words could be made out at first but then there was a sort of echo which made them unclear, leaving the hearer unsure whether he had heard properly or not. Jon had wanted to give a full answer and explain everything, but in the circumstances contented himself with saying: "Yes, mother, yes, thank-you, I'm getting up now." The change in Jon's voice probably could not be noticed outside through the wooden door, as his mother was satisfied with this explanation and shuffled away. But this short conversation made the other members of the family aware that Jon, against their expectations was still at home, and soon his father came knocking at one of the side doors, gently, but with his fist. "Jon, Jon", he called, "what's wrong?" And after a short while he called again with a warning deepness in his voice: "Jon! Jon!" At the other side door his sister came plaintively: "Jon? Aren't you well? Do you need anything?" Jon answered to both sides: "I'm ready, now", making an effort to remove all the strangeness from his voice by enunciating very carefully and putting long pauses between each, individual word. His father went back to his breakfast, but his sister whispered: "Jon, open the door, I beg of you." Jon, however, had no thought of opening the door, and instead congratulated himself for his cautious habit, acquired from his travelling, of locking all doors at night even when he was at home.The first thing he wanted to do was to get up in peace without being disturbed, to get dressed, and most of all to have his breakfast. Only then would he consider what to do next, as he was well aware that he would not bring his thoughts to any sensible conclusions by lying in bed. He remembered that he had often felt a slight pain in bed, perhaps caused by lying awkwardly, but that had always turned out to be pure imagination and he wondered how his imaginings would slowly resolve themselves today. He did not have the slightest doubt that the change in his voice was nothing more than the first sign of a serious cold, which was an occupational hazard for travelling salesmen.It was a simple matter to throw off the covers; he only had to blow himself up a little and they fell off by themselves. But it became difficult after that, especially as he was so exceptionally broad. He would have used his arms and his hands to push himself up; but instead of them he only had all those little legs continuously moving in different directions, and which he was moreover unable to control. If he wanted to bend one of them, then that was the first one that would stretch itself out; and if he finally managed to do what he wanted with that leg, all the others seemed to be set free and would move about painfully. "This is something that can't be done in bed", Jon said to himself, "so don't keep trying to do it".The first thing he wanted to do was get the lower part of his body out of the bed, but he had never seen this lower part, and could not imagine what it looked like; it turned out to be too hard to move; it went so slowly; and finally, almost in a frenzy, when he carelessly shoved himself forwards with all the force he could gather, he chose the wrong direction, hit hard against the lower bedpost, and learned from the burning pain he felt that the lower part of his body might well, at present, be the most sensitive.So then he tried to get the top part of his body out of the bed first, carefully turning his head to the side. This he managed quite easily, and despite its breadth and its weight, the bulk of his body eventually followed slowly in the direction of the head. But when he had at last got his head out of the bed and into the fresh air it occurred to him that if he let himself fall it would be a miracle if his head were not injured, so he became afraid to carry on pushing himself forward the same way. And he could not knock himself out now at any price; better to stay in bed than lose consciousness.It took just as much effort to get back to where he had been earlier, but when he lay there sighing, and was once more watching his legs as they struggled against each other even harder than before, if that was possible, he could think of no way of bringing peace and order to this chaos. He told himself once more that it was not possible for him to stay in bed and that the most sensible thing to do would be to get free of it in whatever way he could at whatever sacrifice. At the same time, though, he did not forget to remind himself that calm consideration was much better than rushing to desperate conclusions. At times like this he would direct his eyes to the window and look out as clearly as he could, but unfortunately, even the other side of the narrow street was enveloped in morning fog and the view had little confidence or cheer to offer him. "Seven o'clock, already", he said to himself when the clock struck again, "seven o'clock, and there's still a fog like this." And he lay there quietly a while longer, breathing lightly as if he perhaps expected the total stillness to bring things back to their real and natural state.But then he said to himself: "Before it strikes quarter past seven I'll definitely have to have got properly out of bed. And by then somebody will have come round from work to ask what's happened to me as well, as they open up at work before seven o'clock." And so he set himself to the task of swinging the entire length of his body out of the bed all at the same time. If he succeeded in falling out of bed in this way and kept his head raised as he did so he could probably avoid injuring it. His back seemed to be quite hard, and probably nothing would happen to it falling onto the carpet. His main concern was for the loud noise he was bound to make, and which even through all the doors would probably raise concern if not alarm. But it was something that had to be risked.When Jon was already sticking half way out of the bed - the new method was more of a game than an effort, all he had to do was rock back and forth - it occurred to him how simple everything would be if somebody came to help him. Two strong people - he had his father and the maid in mind - would have been more than enough; they would only have to push their arms under the dome of his back, peel him away from the bed, bend down with the load and then be patient and careful as he swang over onto the floor, where, hopefully, the little legs would find a use. Should he really call for help though, even apart from the fact that all the doors were locked? Despite all the difficulty he was in, he could not suppress a smile at this thought.After a while he had already moved so far across that it would have been hard for him to keep his balance if he rocked too hard. The time was now ten past seven and he would have to make a final decision very soon. Then there was a ring at the door of the flat. "That'll be someone from work", he said to himself, and froze very still, although his little legs only became all the more lively as they danced around. For a moment everything remained quiet. "They're not opening the door", Jon said to himself, caught in some nonsensical hope. But then of course, the maid's firm steps went to the door as ever and opened it. Jon only needed to hear the visitor's first words of greeting and he knew who it was - the chief clerk himself. Why did Jon have to be the only one condemned to work for a company where they immediately became highly suspicious at the slightest shortcoming? Were all employees, every one of them, louts, was there not one of them who was faithful and devoted who would go so mad with pangs of conscience that he couldn't get out of bed if he didn't spend at least a couple of hours in the morning on company business? Was it really not enough to let one of the trainees make enquiries - assuming enquiries were even necessary - did the chief clerk have to come himself, and did they have to show the whole, innocent family that this was so suspicious that only the chief clerk could be trusted to have the wisdom to investigate it? And more because these thoughts had made him upset than through any proper decision, he swang himself with all his force out of the bed. There was a loud thump, but it wasn't really a loud noise. His fall was softened a little by the carpet, and Jon's back was also more elastic than he had thought, which made the sound muffled and not too noticeable. He had not held his head carefully enough, though, and hit it as he fell; annoyed and in pain, he turned it and rubbed it against the carpet."Something's fallen down in there", said the chief clerk in the room on the left. Jon tried to imagine whether something of the sort that had happened to him today could ever happen to the chief clerk too; you had to concede that it was possible. But as if in gruff reply to this question, the chief clerk's firm footsteps in his highly polished boots could now be heard in the adjoining room. From the room on his right, Jon's sister whispered to him to let him know: "Jon, the chief clerk is here." "Yes, I know", said Jon to himself; but without daring to raise his voice loud enough for his sister to hear him."Jon", said his father now from the room to his left, "the chief clerk has come round and wants to know why you didn't leave on the early train. We don't know what to say to him. And anyway, he wants to speak to you personally. So please open up this door. I'm sure he'll be good enough to forgive the untidiness of your room." Then the chief clerk called "Good morning, Mr. Arbuckle". "He isn't well", said his mother to the chief clerk, while his father continued to speak through the door. "He isn't well, please believe me. Why else would Jon have missed a train! The lad only ever thinks about the business. It nearly makes me cross the way he never goes out in the evenings; he's been in town for a week now but stayed home every evening. He sits with us in the kitchen and just reads the paper or studies train timetables. His idea of relaxation is working with his fretsaw. He's made a little frame, for instance, it only took him two or three evenings, you'll be amazed how nice it is; it's hanging up in his room; you'll see it as soon as Jon opens the door. Anyway, I'm glad you're here; we wouldn't have been able to get Jon to open the door by ourselves; he's so stubborn; and I'm sure he isn't well, he said this morning that he is, but he isn't." "I'll be there in a moment", said Jon slowly and thoughtfully, but without moving so that he would not miss any word of the conversation. "Well I can't think of any other way of explaining it, Mrs. Arbuckle", said the chief clerk, "I hope it's nothing serious. But on the other hand, I must say that if we people in commerce ever become slightly unwell then, fortunately or unfortunately as you like, we simply have to overcome it because of business considerations." "Can the chief clerk come in to see you now then?", asked his father impatiently, knocking at the door again. "No", said Jon. In the room on his right there followed a painful silence; in the room on his left his sister began to cry.So why did his sister not go and join the others? She had probably only just got up and had not even begun to get dressed. And why was she crying? Was it because he had not got up, and had not let the chief clerk in, because he was in danger of losing his job and if that happened his boss would once more pursue their parents with the same demands as before? There was no need to worry about things like that yet. Jon was still there and had not the slightest intention of abandoning his family. For the time being he just lay there on the carpet, and no-one who knew the condition he was in would seriously have expected him to let the chief clerk in. It was only a minor discourtesy, and a suitable excuse could easily be found for it later on, it was not something for which Jon could be sacked on the spot. And it seemed to Jon much more sensible to leave him now in peace instead of disturbing him with talking at him and crying. But the others didn't know what was happening, they were worried, that would excuse their behaviour.The chief clerk now raised his voice, "Mr. Arbuckle", he called to him, "what is wrong? You barricade yourself in your room, give us no more than yes or no for an answer, you are causing serious and unnecessary concern to your parents and you fail - and I mention this just by the way - you fail to carry out your business duties in a way that is quite unheard of. I'm speaking here on behalf of your parents and of your employer, and really must request a clear and immediate explanation. I am astonished, quite astonished. I thought I knew you as a calm and sensible person, and now you suddenly seem to be showing off with peculiar whims. This morning, your employer did suggest a possible reason for your failure to appear, it's true - it had to do with the money that was recently entrusted to you - but I came near to giving him my word of honour that that could not be the right explanation. But now that I see your incomprehensible stubbornness I no longer feel any wish whatsoever to intercede on your behalf. And nor is your position all that secure. I had originally intended to say all this to you in private, but since you cause me to waste my time here for no good reason I don't see why your parents should not also learn of it. Your turnover has been very unsatisfactory of late; I grant you that it's not the time of year to do especially good business, we recognise that; but there simply is no time of year to do no business at all, Mr. Arbuckle, we cannot allow there to be.""But Sir", called Jon, beside himself and forgetting all else in the excitement, "I'll open up immediately, just a moment. I'm slightly unwell, an attack of dizziness, I haven't been able to get up. I'm still in bed now. I'm quite fresh again now, though. I'm just getting out of bed. Just a moment. Be patient! It's not quite as easy as I'd thought. I'm quite alright now, though. It's shocking, what can suddenly happen to a person! I was quite alright last night, my parents know about it, perhaps better than me, I had a small symptom of it last night already. They must have noticed it. I don't know why I didn't let you know at work! But you always think you can get over an illness without staying at home. Please, don't make my parents suffer! There's no basis for any of the accusations you're making; nobody's ever said a word to me about any of these things. Maybe you haven't read the latest contracts I sent in. I'll set off with the eight o'clock train, as well, these few hours of rest have given me strength. You don't need to wait, sir; I'll be in the office soon after you, and please be so good as to tell that to the boss and recommend me to him!"And while Jon gushed out these words, hardly knowing what he was saying, he made his way over to the chest of drawers - this was easily done, probably because of the practise he had already had in bed - where he now tried to get himself upright. He really did want to open the door, really did want to let them see him and to speak with the chief clerk; the others were being so insistent, and he was curious to learn what they would say when they caught sight of him. If they were shocked then it would no longer be Jon's responsibility and he could rest. If, however, they took everything calmly he would still have no reason to be upset, and if he hurried he really could be at the station for eight o'clock. The first few times he tried to climb up on the smooth chest of drawers he just slid down again, but he finally gave himself one last swing and stood there upright; the lower part of his body was in serious pain but he no longer gave any attention to it. Now he let himself fall against the back of a nearby chair and held tightly to the edges of it with his little legs. By now he had also calmed down, and kept quiet so that he could listen to what the chief clerk was saying."Did you understand a word of all that?" the chief clerk asked his parents, "surely he's not trying to make fools of us". "Oh, Garfield!" called his mother, who was already in tears, "he could be seriously ill and we're making him suffer. Grete! Grete!" she then cried. "Mother?" his sister called from the other side. They communicated across Jon's room. "You'll have to go for the doctor straight away. Jon is ill. Quick, get the doctor. Did you hear the way Jon spoke just now?" "That was the voice of an animal", said the chief clerk, with a calmness that was in contrast with his mother's screams. "Anna! Anna!" his father called into the kitchen through the entrance hall, clapping his hands, "get a locksmith here, now!" And the two girls, their skirts swishing, immediately ran out through the hall, wrenching open the front door of the flat as they went. How had his sister managed to get dressed so quickly? There was no sound of the door banging shut again; they must have left it open; people often do in homes where something awful has happened.Jon, in contrast, had become much calmer. So they couldn't understand his words any more, although they seemed clear enough to him, clearer than before - perhaps his ears had become used to the sound. They had realised, though, that there was something wrong with him, and were ready to help. The first response to his situation had been confident and wise, and that made him feel better. He felt that he had been drawn back in among people, and from the doctor and the locksmith he expected great and surprising achievements - although he did not really distinguish one from the other. Whatever was said next would be crucial, so, in order to make his voice as clear as possible, he coughed a little, but taking care to do this not too loudly as even this might well sound different from the way that a human coughs and he was no longer sure he could judge this for himself. Meanwhile, it had become very quiet in the next room. Perhaps his parents were sat at the table whispering with the chief clerk, or perhaps they were all pressed against the door and listening.Jon slowly pushed his way over to the door with the chair. Once there he let go of it and threw himself onto the door, holding himself upright against it using the adhesive on the tips of his legs. He rested there a little while to recover from the effort involved and then set himself to the task of turning the key in the lock with his mouth. He seemed, unfortunately, to have no proper teeth - how was he, then, to grasp the key? - but the lack of teeth was, of course, made up for with a very strong jaw; using the jaw, he really was able to start the key turning, ignoring the fact that he must have been causing some kind of damage as a brown fluid came from his mouth, flowed over the key and dripped onto the floor. "Listen", said the chief clerk in the next room, "he's turning the key." Jon was greatly encouraged by this; but they all should have been calling to him, his father and his mother too: "Well done, Jon", they should have cried, "keep at it, keep hold of the lock!" And with the idea that they were all excitedly following his efforts, he bit on the key with all his strength, paying no attention to the pain he was causing himself. As the key turned round he turned around the lock with it, only holding himself upright with his mouth, and hung onto the key or pushed it down again with the whole weight of his body as needed. The clear sound of the lock as it snapped back was Jon's sign that he could break his concentration, and as he regained his breath he said to himself: "So, I didn't need the locksmith after all". Then he lay his head on the handle of the door to open it completely.Because he had to open the door in this way, it was already wide open before he could be seen. He had first to slowly turn himself around one of the double doors, and he had to do it very carefully if he did not want to fall flat on his back before entering the room. He was still occupied with this difficult movement, unable to pay attention to anything else, when he heard the chief clerk exclaim a loud "Oh!", which sounded like the soughing of the wind. Now he also saw him - he was the nearest to the door - his hand pressed against his open mouth and slowly retreating as if driven by a steady and invisible force. Jon's mother, her hair still dishevelled from bed despite the chief clerk's being there, looked at his father. Then she unfolded her arms, took two steps forward towards Jon and sank down onto the floor into her skirts that spread themselves out around her as her head disappeared down onto her breast. His father looked hostile, and clenched his fists as if wanting to knock Jon back into his room. Then he looked uncertainly round the living room, covered his eyes with his hands and wept so that his powerful chest shook.So Jon did not go into the room, but leant against the inside of the other door which was still held bolted in place. In this way only half of his body could be seen, along with his head above it which he leant over to one side as he peered out at the others. Meanwhile the day had become much lighter; part of the endless, grey-black building on the other side of the street - which was a hospital - could be seen quite clearly with the austere and regular line of windows piercing its façade; the rain was still falling, now throwing down large, individual droplets which hit the ground one at a time. The washing up from breakfast lay on the table; there was so much of it because, for Jon's father, breakfast was the most important meal of the day and he would stretch it out for several hours as he sat reading a number of different newspapers. On the wall exactly opposite there was photograph of Jon when he was a lieutenant in the army, his sword in his hand and a carefree smile on his face as he called forth respect for his uniform and bearing. The door to the entrance hall was open and as the front door of the flat was also open he could see onto the landing and the stairs where they began their way down below."Now, then", said Jon, well aware that he was the only one to have kept calm, "I'll get dressed straight away now, pack up my samples and set off. Will you please just let me leave? You can see", he said to the chief clerk, "that I'm not stubborn and I like to do my job; being a commercial traveller is arduous but without travelling I couldn't earn my living. So where are you going, in to the office? Yes? Will you report everything accurately, then? It's quite possible for someone to be temporarily unable to work, but that's just the right time to remember what's been achieved in the past and consider that later on, once the difficulty has been removed, he will certainly work with all the more diligence and concentration. You're well aware that I'm seriously in debt to our employer as well as having to look after my parents and my sister, so that I'm trapped in a difficult situation, but I will work my way out of it again. Please don't make things any harder for me than they are already, and don't take sides against me at the office. I know that nobody likes the travellers. They think we earn an enormous wage as well as having a soft time of it. That's just prejudice but they have no particular reason to think better of it. But you, sir, you have a better overview than the rest of the staff, in fact, if I can say this in confidence, a better overview than the boss himself - it's very easy for a businessman like him to make mistakes about his employees and judge them more harshly than he should. And you're also well aware that we travellers spend almost the whole year away from the office, so that we can very easily fall victim to gossip and chance and groundless complaints, and it's almost impossible to defend yourself from that sort of thing, we don't usually even hear about them, or if at all it's when we arrive back home exhausted from a trip, and that's when we feel the harmful effects of what's been going on without even knowing what caused them. Please, don't go away, at least first say something to show that you grant that I'm at least partly right!"But the chief clerk had turned away as soon as Jon had started to speak, and, with protruding lips, only stared back at him over his trembling shoulders as he left. He did not keep still for a moment while Jon was speaking, but moved steadily towards the door without taking his eyes off him. He moved very gradually, as if there had been some secret prohibition on leaving the room. It was only when he had reached the entrance hall that he made a sudden movement, drew his foot from the living room, and rushed forward in a panic. In the hall, he stretched his right hand far out towards the stairway as if out there, there were some supernatural force waiting to save him.Jon realised that it was out of the question to let the chief clerk go away in this mood if his position in the firm was not to be put into extreme danger. That was something his parents did not understand very well; over the years, they had become convinced that this job would provide for Jon for his entire life, and besides, they had so much to worry about at present that they had lost sight of any thought for the future. Jon, though, did think about the future. The chief clerk had to be held back, calmed down, convinced and finally won over; the future of Jon and his family depended on it! If only his sister were here! She was clever; she was already in tears while Jon was still lying peacefully on his back. And the chief clerk was a lover of women, surely she could persuade him; she would close the front door in the entrance hall and talk him out of his shocked state. But his sister was not there, Jon would have to do the job himself. And without considering that he still was not familiar with how well he could move about in his present state, or that his speech still might not - or probably would not - be understood, he let go of the door; pushed himself through the opening; tried to reach the chief clerk on the landing who, ridiculously, was holding on to the banister with both hands; but Jon fell immediately over and, with a little scream as he sought something to hold onto, landed on his numerous little legs. Hardly had that happened than, for the first time that day, he began to feel alright with his body; the little legs had the solid ground under them; to his pleasure, they did exactly as he told them; they were even making the effort to carry him where he wanted to go; and he was soon believing that all his sorrows would soon be finally at an end. He held back the urge to move but swayed from side to side as he crouched there on the floor. His mother was not far away in front of him and seemed, at first, quite engrossed in herself, but then she suddenly jumped up with her arms outstretched and her fingers spread shouting: "Help, for pity's sake, Help!" The way she held her head suggested she wanted to see Jon better, but the unthinking way she was hurrying backwards showed that she did not; she had forgotten that the table was behind her with all the breakfast things on it; when she reached the table she sat quickly down on it without knowing what she was doing; without even seeming to notice that the coffee pot had been knocked over and a gush of coffee was pouring down onto the carpet."Mother, mother", said Jon gently, looking up at her. He had completely forgotten the chief clerk for the moment, but could not help himself snapping in the air with his jaws at the sight of the flow of coffee. That set his mother screaming anew, she fled from the table and into the arms of his father as he rushed towards her. Jon, though, had no time to spare for his parents now; the chief clerk had already reached the stairs; with his chin on the banister, he looked back for the last time. Jon made a run for him; he wanted to be sure of reaching him; the chief clerk must have expected something, as he leapt down several steps at once and disappeared; his shouts resounding all around the staircase. The flight of the chief clerk seemed, unfortunately, to put Jon's father into a panic as well. Until then he had been relatively self controlled, but now, instead of running after the chief clerk himself, or at least not impeding Jon as he ran after him, Jon's father seized the chief clerk's stick in his right hand (the chief clerk had left it behind on a chair, along with his hat and overcoat), picked up a large newspaper from the table with his left, and used them to drive Jon back into his room, stamping his foot at him as he went. Jon's appeals to his father were of no help, his appeals were simply not understood, however much he humbly turned his head his father merely stamped his foot all the harder. Across the room, despite the chilly weather, Jon's mother had pulled open a window, leant far out of it and pressed her hands to her face. A strong draught of air flew in from the street towards the stairway, the curtains flew up, the newspapers on the table fluttered and some of them were blown onto the floor. Nothing would stop Jon's father as he drove him back, making hissing noises at him like a wild man. Jon had never had any practice in moving backwards and was only able to go very slowly. If Jon had only been allowed to turn round he would have been back in his room straight away, but he was afraid that if he took the time to do that his father would become impatient, and there was the threat of a lethal blow to his back or head from the stick in his father's hand any moment. Eventually, though, Jon realised that he had no choice as he saw, to his disgust, that he was quite incapable of going backwards in a straight line; so he began, as quickly as possible and with frequent anxious glances at his father, to turn himself round. It went very slowly, but perhaps his father was able to see his good intentions as he did nothing to hinder him, in fact now and then he used the tip of his stick to give directions from a distance as to which way to turn. If only his father would stop that unbearable hissing! It was making Jon quite confused. When he had nearly finished turning round, still listening to that hissing, he made a mistake and turned himself back a little the way he had just come. He was pleased when he finally had his head in front of the doorway, but then saw that it was too narrow, and his body was too broad to get through it without further difficulty. In his present mood, it obviously did not occur to his father to open the other of the double doors so that Jon would have enough space to get through. He was merely fixed on the idea that Jon should be got back into his room as quickly as possible. Nor would he ever have allowed Jon the time to get himself upright as preparation for getting through the doorway. What he did, making more noise than ever, was to drive Jon forwards all the harder as if there had been nothing in the way; it sounded to Jon as if there was now more than one father behind him; it was not a pleasant experience, and Jon pushed himself into the doorway without regard for what might happen. One side of his body lifted itself, he lay at an angle in the doorway, one flank scraped on the white door and was painfully injured, leaving vile brown flecks on it, soon he was stuck fast and would not have been able to move at all by himself, the little legs along one side hung quivering in the air while those on the other side were pressed painfully against the ground. Then his father gave him a hefty shove from behind which released him from where he was held and sent him flying, and heavily bleeding, deep into his room. The door was slammed shut with the stick, then, finally, all was quiet.Today's strip
Ok, so the use of the word 'but' here STRONGLY implies that Jon believes that his owning a cat means that he is NOT a bachelor, doesn't it? Which means, ipso facto, precisely one of two things must necessarily be the case: Either Jon Arbuckle is a man who does not understand what words mean, or Jon Arbuckle is a man who is in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with his cat.Oh wait, did I say "and/or"? No, we've definitely established through the course of this show that Jon is a guy with tremendous sexual appetites; he's clearly not the type to stick around in a committed, monogamous relationship with his cat and NOT have sex with it, OK? That would be ABSURD.Today's strip
Who the fuck bakes a pie the weekend immediately AFTER Thanksgiving?? Let alone an intricate lattice crust job like this one, amiright? A goddamned psychopath, that's who. I mean, look, I'm not saying it's one-hundred percent certain that Jon Arbuckle was about to have sex with pie, but, come on, we both know Jon Arbuckle was definitely about to have sex with that pie.Anyway, if you've managed to avoid hearing this Chuck Berry number thus far in your life, I highly recommend not clicking on that link so you can continue doing so. Just a really dreadful number. Today's stripBillboard top 100 for 1972
This one's pretty great. Jon Arbuckle in a state of childlike glee at the prospect of finding some really premium wanking material in his mailbox was not what we expected to encounter in panel one of today's strip. But that's what we get, and it makes for a halfway decent episode of Being Jim Davis! We talk about the evolution of pornography over the last 40 years, the subtle yet undeniable connection between Garfield and Aeschylus' Oresteia trilogy, and the enigmatic question of just who the fuck 'Elke' refers to. Jon makes a number of incorrect statements regarding The Sopranos.Today's stripSquare Root of Minus Garfield
When Garfield was caught on tape last year bragging to a d-list celebrity on a bus about sexually assaulting Jon Arbuckle, I was, like many of my fellow Americans, shocked and incensed. But then when he reemerged, after several days of strategizing, and produced the ingenious defense that it was "just litter box talk," I decided that it was ok. Now with today's strip we have incontrovertible evidence of his heinous, unspeakable crimes! What's a self-respecting comics purveyor to do? I suppose the obvious course of action is to elect him president, in spite of the fact that he is OBVIOUSLY NOT 35 YEARS OLD. Because facts do not matter any more.Also, if currently sitting U.S. congress members Odie, Lyman and Nermal feel like doing DICK SQUAT about his many egregious conflicts of interest, even though they are constitutionally and morally obligated to do so, I guess that would be fine too.Today's strip
In today's episode of Garfield, Jon Arbuckle is alarmed to find himself momentarily in conversation with an anthropomorphic bear with considerable lifelike human verisimilitude, yet realizes no apparent contradiction in the act of commenting on this event, in thought, to an imaginary audience he believes can hear his thoughts. Ladies and gentlemen, this is how religions get started.Incidentally, let's not forget that our current vice-president-elect is a man who, because of his religion, genuinely believes that countless millions of his fellow human beings deserve to suffer unimaginable torment until the end of time for no other reason than because they are in loving relationships that contain the incorrect number of penises.Today's strip
How do you convert degrees into radians? And also, why would you do that? And why, for that matter would Jon Arbuckle attempt to take his cat, Garfield, for a walk on a leash? We talk about that stuff for a while, then about old people and attitudes toward immigration, then, finally, about whether committing to a multi-decade daily Garfield recap podcast was a terrible soul-crushing mistake. Today's strip:
Jon has a magical shapeshifting blanket and Garfield is improbably unaware of his surroundings. Why this must be the 99th EVER Garfield comic!We argue over just whose bed this is, how many different songs Jon Arbuckle knows (one), and whether Jon's old college buddy Lyman actually committed suicide after yesterday's confusing events or has merely checked himself into rehab. Christopher Winter repeats an amusing anecdote about his cat and we read our FIRST EVER iTunes review!!!Today's strip
In today's episode, we discuss another installment of the popular comic strip Garfield. We speculate about Jon Arbuckle's college years and then for some reason we use the word "parsimonious" a lot. Honestly, that's about it.Today's strip:
Today's strip starts off with Jon Arbuckle and Lyman sitting around drinking coffee. For that reason -- and for no other -- it's actually pretty great.Today's strip:
Any readers out there know anything about cars? Would you like to be a guest on this episode? I only ask because we spend several minutes speculating about the make and model of Jon Arbuckle's car, and it would be nice to have somebody on the show who knows what they're talking about in this area. So if you could come on the show before this episode posts, that would be great!VermillionAlizarin crimson Today's strip
Hey, y'all remember what Jon Arbuckle's profession is? You do? Wow, that's weird. I mean, think of all the potential wisdom your brain has had to forget in order to retain useless bits of trivia like that, amiright? Anyway, this strip is for you, I guess.If you think about it, it's pretty obvious Davis intended for Jon and Garfield to represent America and Donald T****, respectively.Today's strip
Heraclitus’s “table fragments” raise puzzles about identity and persistence: under what conditions does a side table persist through time as one and the same object? If the world contains things which endure, and retain their identity in spite of undergoing alteration, then somehow those things must persist through changes. Heraclitus wonders whether one can view the same side table twice precisely because it continually undergoes changes. In particular, it changes compositionally. At any given time, it is made up of different component parts from the ones it was previously made up of. So, according to one interpretation, Heraclitus concludes that we do not have (numerically) the same side table persisting from one moment to the next.In this episode of Being Jim Davis, we examine Garfield's incomplete understanding of biology, the strange life of Jon Arbuckle's orphan side table, and the surprising versatility of the onomatopoeia 'poomp.'Today's strip
In today's strip, Jon Arbuckle puts Garfield on a diet, a funny enough one-off gag that will never probably never be referenced again. We also discuss floor-sitting, #where'slyman?, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, #panel2, cat jowls, and Jon Arbuckle's lost years as a member of the Weather Underground.Today's strip
In today's action-packed issue of Being Jim Davis, a broad range of important topics fall under the serpentine tendrils of your erudite hosts, including temporal anomalies, Lyman's bizarre substance abuse history, whether or not Jon Arbuckle is intended to represent actress Andie MacDowell, and I don't know; I guess the Oxford comma? Look, I don't get paid to write these things, ok? Today's strip
Sometimes Garfield is a dog. Sometimes Lyman shows up at Jon Arbuckle's door with a mongoose. These are just established facts. Midway through today's episode, it finally dawns on Chris just how many Garfield strips he still has to podcast on. Please, Mr. Davis, please, stop the madness!Today's strip:
I understand how this might be an interesting comic strip to someone who had not read the strip from the previous Wednesday. Whatever. Anyway we get into a much more interesting argument about whether or not Jon Arbuckle had some construction work done on his house in the interim between panels four and eight.CORRECTION: U.S. President James Garfield DID in fact have a mustache.Today's strip
Today we spend a significant portion of our podcast discussing the minute details of a fictional cartoon bookshelf for what is, amazingly, not the first time. We question Jon Arbuckle's seemingly dual nature as an extremely prissy man who doesn't seem give a damn about proper place setting and get into an argument about the color of the wall.Here's the steak scene from The Great Outdoors. Upon reflection, this is definitely the exact steak from that film.Today's strip
Happy Thursday everybody! One of the six best days of the week. We're celebrating with the 2004 Garfield movie, and enough alcohol to forget Jon Arbuckle's name halfway through the recording. Points for meditation include: the master of pez, CG Nick Offerman, judging supple dogs, Garfield in the Dutch dimension, and lots of whining about how hard cartoonists have it. Movie: Garfield (2004) Director: Peter Hewitt Rating: live action is way too real we don't like it Follow our tumblr (murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com) for more pictures of lasagna you're not allowed to touch. We're also on iTunes! Please do feed us back with your feedback. (https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/murder-suicide-matinee/id1111796206?mt=2) intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie
Here it is! The fourth installment of A Very Special Podcast and the most glitchiest to date; no thanks to faulty equipment. In this episode, Patrick and Kat watch the animated classic, Garfield's Halloween Adventure. This is the one where Garfield and Odie dress up as pirates, go trick or treating, and then somehow end up on island haunted by pirate ghosts. It frightened us at children and continues to frighten us as adults! Plus, we examine Jon Arbuckle's depressive lifestyle and wonder why he keeps his dead aunt's dentures in a treasure chest in his attic; and also worry about Garfield's horrible eating habits. Patrick deals with the struggles of having 750 cable channels at his fingertips and we wonder about the clueless adults of Garfield's hometown who don't realize they are handing out candy to a cat and a dog guised in costumes. Then, Kat educates Patrick with the knowledge that there are sizable islands in the Mississippi River and the dangerous consequences of using a Ouija board. Candy, Candy, Candy, Candy! Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review us on iTunes. Starring: Patrick M. Dunn and Kat Halstead
Grab your lightsaber and hop into your X-Wing because the latest issue of The Pull List is here! In Issue 003, Drew and Cody discuss the best order to watch the Star Wars movies, lament Jon Arbuckle's sad yet humourous life, and talk about some big news for The Big Bang Theory. Don't miss the reviews of The Walking Dead #123, The Wake #6, Trillium #7, and Batman #29. Here's what we talked about: The Machete Order of watching Star Wars My Stupid Life split Snakepit Garfield Minus Garfield and Shut Up, Garfield! Batman '66/ Green Hornet by Kevin Smith and Ralph Garman Terry Gilliam's ending to Watchmen The CW's Flash costume The Big Bang Theory gets record breaking renewal Intro Music is Carl, Stay in the House by The Eschatones
Sansa IV, Jon VII, and Tyrion XII. Red and Ivan discuss another GREAT Dan Preston song (It's a Shame), Sci-Fi/Fantasy rift, get a false start on the battle of Blackwater Bay, pour-over coffee from SF to London, The Hound's literal butchery, Doug Stanhope, Health Care, Sansa wedding and bedding, Jon Arbuckle and his Direwolf Ghost, Super Smash Bros at the Wall, Death of a Squire, and flesh-stabbing. Next week: Catelyn VII, Theon V, and Sansa V.
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