Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

There is going to be a very good chance that you think you know what I'm going to say on this podcast, but you don't. I can promise you that, because up until about 12 hours ago, I didn't even know what I was going to be saying on this podcast. I actually had an interview scheduled this week, but aren't we living in a time when we never know what's coming? This podcast wasn't in the cards for me either, so please keep listening until the end. David Radke will be joining me on today's show. In order to earn a living, I create content. I write books. I travel and I speak. I write online courses and make funny videos. I advertise for companies that I love and trust. I do television sometimes. All of this has been upended in the last two weeks. Just like your life has been upended. All of the dates on my calendar for travel and speaking for the next several months are gone. Every one of them. Like most of you, I have a side hustle. David and I have been working on the relaunch of Ink since November, but David suggested that we go with the relaunch of a course that would be more timely right now. He suggested we work on the relaunch of This Sucks...But God Is Good.  Show Notes: [04:38] Melissa agrees with David that now is the time for this course. [05:03] Melissa wants to come out of this with clarity and answers. She wants to be better and not worse. Lean in and not lean out. [06:22] We need to take advantage of this time and be wise with the time that we have been given.  [07:00] We are going to relaunch This Sucks... But God Is Good. It's an online course that you take at your pace. It's a weekly email with videos. You get one lesson each Monday for six weeks.  [08:32] You also get questions to help you clarify the concepts in your mind. Each lesson has four to five bite sized video lessons that totals around 45 minutes to an hour. The downloads are also available as audio for listening anytime. [09:00] There are also summaries, outlines, and transcripts for those who like to read. And a like-minded Facebook community to interact with. Melissa will also be there and will have some live chats with you all. She will also take and post questions. [09:31] She's there for you, answering your questions and challenging you as we go along.  [09:55] Thousands of people have gone through this course already. If you have, go back through it and jump back into the group. The season you are in now is totally different than the season you were in. [11:01] Melissa created this course based on the journey that her and David went through suffering from infertility, miscarriages, and the birth and death of their son.  [11:38] It's been for every woman and man who has been angry at God, because somewhere your train went off the tracks. [12:42] There is freedom in your life that is available to you through this course. [13:24] This course is regularly $67. We know you have so much going on that we can't offer it to you for that price. Because of the times we are in and what's going on we are going to offer this course to everyone for $1. [14:34] When you pay your dollar, you are free to pay whatever amount you want. You pay what you want to pay and what feels right for you.  [17:21] If you've never taken a course like this, this is something that you have never experienced.  [18:04] Melissa wants to share what she's been taught by a God that she finds so loving and so accepting. [18:32] This isn't your Grandma's bible study. We meet you where you are. [19:06] We love you so much.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page Rise & Radke @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Sign Up for Insider Access Stream(H)er This Sucks...But God Is Good

I'm excited about today, because my guest is ordinary. She is ordinary, the topic is ordinary, and you all know how I feel about ordinary. We talk about a mundane event that lots of people go through, but she is handling it in extraordinary ways. I haven't done a podcast on this subject, yet it's so prevalent. I'm talking about divorce. Last fall, I met Kelly Mathews, and I thought she was so kind and so beautiful, but her story was painful. It was the story of a loss of a relationship and the loss of a marriage. When I met her, I was wondering how she was still standing and still smiling. I was thinking, this is what grace looks like. Kelly embodies grace and teaches us how to do that. She describes herself as a single white female (without being scary), CPA (but better dressed than you are probably imagining!), who started a boutique accounting firm in the second bedroom of her house 16 years ago.  She is a proud mother of a thoughtful teenage daughter (although it sounds like an oxymoron - thoughtful teenager - she’s blessed to actually have one). Her superpower is that strangers are very comfortable talking to her, and they typically tell her whatever is on their mind...even if it’s a secret. Show Notes: [04:33] Kelly's people are her family and friends. She has a fabulous relationship with her daughter. Kelly is also super close to her parents who live 30 minutes away from her. She plays Bunco with her friends.  [06:13] Kelly has been blessed to have groups of people who have supported her throughout her life. [07:39] Kelly and her husband dropped their daughter off at camp and then went on a date to a movie. When they got home her husband of 18 years asked for a separation. The next evening he asked for a divorce and moved out two days later.  [09:26] Kelly picked her daughter up from camp on her own. That was three years ago. [14:04] The first thing Kelly did to survive was get up everyday and face the day. You create the new normal based on what you know. She also knew she needed a support team for her and her daughter.  [18:14] It's important to tell your support group what your needs are.  [19:02] The divorce almost broke her. She wanted to dull what she was feeling. She decided to live through the experience and deal with her hurt. It's hard to choose the most difficult path.  [22:18] She had to work through her anger and work through that stage of recovery.  [26:07] A powerful statement is, "you were wronged." You feel what you feel and that's what you feel. Kelly realized her emotions were so out of character. She has swinging emotions. Feeling her feelings was so freeing.  [28:37] A Bunco friend told her that she had turned a corner. Her anger had ebbed. Her friend recognized it without prompting. [31:41] Things not to say include, "you will be so lonely" and "are you dating." [38:03] Kelly is happy with where her life is and the choices that she has made after the divorce. She is healthy and rested now. She was running on life's treadmill. She had time to think about things and decided to use that time for good.  [41:16] She's being true to who she is and who she wants to be.  [44:23] She also created a decision tree about how she was going to deal with questions from her ex-husband.  [48:44] Be interesting because of who you are. Kelly writes down new things that she wants to try. She has done extensive heart work.  [51:16] Kelly shares her favorite hometown restaurant, friendship, and maybe some Julia Roberts.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page Rise & Radke @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Sign Up for Insider Access Stream(H)er Kelly Mathews on Instagram

Over the next two weeks, we will be talking to women who were suddenly faced with a decision. Maybe the decision came after years of being at a dead-end job, and they simply had had enough. Maybe, it came after a divorce. We will be talking to these women who found themselves having to make a choice about what will be next. What will they do? Will they live? Will they die? Will they get stuck? Will they continue waking up every day putting one foot in front of the other? There are some really powerful and relatable stories coming your way over the next couple of weeks. Our Guest today had no idea what she was in for. Denise Walsh was a clinical psychologist at a local community health clinic for five years. Denise loves people and likes helping people. She soon realized that in that environment, it was more about the paperwork and the policies then it was about the people. Denise left there and now serves people in a way that she has always dreamed about. She encourages people to take action on their God-sized dreams. For me, this podcast turned into a therapy session. Denise is a business coach and has a heart for kicking your butt and helping you grow. She teaches the skills to design your dream life and knows we can truly thrive in all areas of our lives.  Show Notes: [03:35] Denise got her Masters in Clinical Psychology from Wheaton College. Throughout high school, she was a counselor at a youth group mission camp.  [04:16] She then worked with foster kids in New York City. She fell in love with those kids. They were in and out of homes and certainly had traumatic experiences and didn't realize their own potential. [05:04] She then got a job working in community health, and it turned out to be a burnout experience. She was overworked and underpaid. She worked with a population that didn't really want help. Her passion for her career and life was starting to fade. [06:16] She knew she needed to find something different and became a distributor for a health and wellness company. Over the past 13 years, she has built a worldwide team and impacted people in a way that she never could at her previous job. [08:08] She helps people figure out what they want and create an action plan to get it. We can't make a pivot if we're not clear about what we want. [09:54] You can thrive in your family and in your business. You don't have to choose. [10:19] Sometimes we get intimidated by God-sized goals and self-sabotage ourselves. [12:37] It's that one step in front of the other that leads to the next step. When we take steps the next one comes. [14:37] When you tap into your passion and excitement, it's natural for you. You'll find the energy and the courage to take the next step. [15:56] Get clear on what you want in the seven areas of life which are family, friendship, finances, health, hobbies, business, and giving back. Write where you are now and then imagine what it would be like if it were a 10. [17:13] Once you know your priorities, you can actually go out and do them. Put it on your calendar. [19:33] Find the goal you want to make happen and rearrange your schedule to do so. Know what you're going to do every day. [21:21] Be intentional with your time and ask for help. It's okay to say no to things. [24:45] Setting your internal GPS is deciding what goal is next for you and speaking life into it. Talk about it in a way that it is happening. [26:01] Melissa wants to find the time to work on her next book. Denise helps her work through setting her internal GPS.  [28:18] Watch out for limiting beliefs and self-sabotage. [30:53] Melissa wants to live in a way where she has things to offer the world. She doesn't want to just drift. She wants to have a plan. [31:45] Denise shares a couple of inspirational stories of people that she has coached.  [35:34] Be intentional with the gifts that God has given you and say yes to that spark everyday. [36:52] Denise also has a workbook that will help you really dig deep. [39:30] Your kids can learn from you that they can love life and reach their goals. [40:36] Denise tackles the lightning round questions.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page Rise & Radke @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Sign Up for Insider Access Stream(H)er Denise Walsh Denise on Instagram Denise on Facebook Denise on Amazon Erma Bombeck

Dr. Justin Coulson is an honorary fellow at the Center for Positive Psychology at the University of Melbourne. He has three best-selling books about family life and parenting. He writes, consults, and teaches about the intersection of psychology, family, and well-being. He's a TEDx speaker and a regular TV expert guest. He's a contributor to major Australian media outlets. He's also contributed to the New York Times.  He had a successful radio career and then returned to school in his late 20's where he earned his psychology degree and his PhD in psychology. Since then he has written multiple peer-reviewed journal articles and scholarly book chapters. He is also a highly sought-after international speaker delivering keynote speeches and workshops to boost well-being and improve relationships for parents, teachers, students and employees and students. I discovered Dr. Coulson through a friend's social media. When I saw his post, I just thought that he was doing good. He's not yelling fire in a crowded theater, he's getting to the heart of our teens. He's specifically getting to the heart of our daughters, because he's the father of six daughters. Dr. Coulson has written a book called Miss-connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter 'Hates' You, Expects the World and Needs to Talk. You are going to love this interview and how he gets emotional talking about our girls. Show Notes: [07:55] During conferences Dr. Coulson is consistently getting messages about how the world is destroying our teenagers. His experience is that they aren't dealing with these mass challenges. [09:14] The problems facing our teens are actually more mundane problems.  [09:50] Parents and teens are just wanting to connect and get along. [10:29] Miss-Connection is ultimately about the deep desire our children have to be close to us and we have to be close to them. [11:59] Dr. Coulson interviewed and surveyed around 400 teenage girls. Their voices are front and center in the book. [13:17] Why we parent matters more than how we parent. [15:29] If my why is around developing this child into the best human that they can be that means that when they're being challenging I'm going to be more compassionate. [18:36] We need to see our children's behavior as opportunities to connect. When a child is being challenged, they are going to be challenging. We need to find the best in them. [20:44] You can show your child that if you can name it, you can tame it.  [21:41] Keep giving our children these moments because they do want the connection. Give them some time and space and keep trying.  [22:52] We need to be our kids' ally and have stretched out arms and compassion.  [27:08] Friendship challenges are difficult for our daughters. There is a constant realignment for girls in their peer groups. [28:32] Girls are much more likely to ruminate about relationships. [29:52] Research tells us that our daughters need to go through an identity finding process during adolescence. Kids need an opportunity to do the deep inner work that comes from quiet contemplation. There are too many distractions. [31:46] The whole family should come together and talk about values. [36:02] When we invest the time, kids feel the love. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page Rise & Radke @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Sign Up for Insider Access Stream(H)er Happy Families Happy Families on Facebook Dr. Justin Coulson on Instagram Miss-connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter 'Hates' You, Expects the World and Needs to Talk Other Books by Justin Coulson Miss-Connection on Happy Families Raising rebels | Dr. Justin Coulson | TEDxMelbourne Bringing Up Girls: Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women

She's back. I hope you all are happy. It does something to my psyche and my confidence level when I hear "could you have her on more often" or " tell Katherine to get her own podcast" after having Katherine Diggs on the show. Now that's hurtful, America. But I get why you want her on here. Katherine was a guest on season 1, season 2, and now she's here for season 3. If you enjoy the show today, go back and listen to Katherine on season 1 and season 2 . Those are really great episodes. Katherine is a nurse practitioner who worked for many years at a very good OBGYN practice here in town. She left this practice to go work at the health clinic. A month later, she said it was one of the most fulfilling things ever. She's working with people and especially teenagers on the issues that are the most near and dear to her heart. Her work is about sex and our bodies. She hears stories in the clinic that are horrifying and heartbreaking. She is kind, knowledgeable, and sensitive. She speaks in a way that we get.  The thing I like about her the most is that she really loves our kids. She just loves young people. She wants them to live safe, long, and healthy lives. She wants them to make smart decisions and feel valued. She wants them to know their worth in ways where they don't have to demonstrate it with their body. I have Katherine on every season because I trust Katherine. She's someone who you can believe in. This episode isn't for little ears, but it will be helpful for teens.  Show Notes: [03:39] On social media, Katherine is referred to as Nurse Katherine. [04:13] We have listener questions for Katherine to answer. [04:31] It's fine to use proper anatomical names for body parts. If you have special family terms it's fine to use those too, but it's good for kids to know the proper names of their body parts.  [07:51] Start the precedent early on to talk about all things. [08:10] A question about establishing a more open relationship with kids and teens when it comes to talking about sex.  [08:50] Communication is everything. Rules without relationship equals rebellion.  [09:12] Open communication has got to start at ground zero.  [10:11] It's good to establish communication early and be comfortable and natural when it comes to talking about sex. [11:34] There seems to be pressure on boys when it comes to sexual practices.  [11:59] People are wearing condoms less these days.  [12:23] It's when we shame kids or make them think we are disappointed that they shut down. We should keep trying to talk to them in a positive way.  [13:10] Each child has a different key that opens up communication.  [13:42] An eighth grade teacher calls in about wanting sex education taught in their school. [14:04] This is an issue in schools and parents are divided on it.  [14:47] Don't bury your head in the sand. Talk about everything.  [15:16] Katherine goes into schools and talks to kids. She's a nurse practitioner and a parent. She now works in public health. [16:09] Sex education has become so political that many states don't have programs. Many existing programs are dated and not realistic. The abstinence based education isn't always helpful for kids who need practical information about what they are already doing.  [20:48] When Katherine talks at high schools, there's always a group who stays behind and has questions. She said young women come up to her and say they think they might be pregnant, and they're scared, and they can't talk to their mothers. [23:18] Is abstinence a pipe dream? No dream for your child is a pipe dream. You also have to be with your kid and talk through whatever is going on. [24:11] You can't talk too much to your child. Find out what the issues are and talk to them. Reinforce safety when you need to. [26:07] People are wearing less condoms these days. We still need to talk about safe sex. There is a stigma around getting condoms.  [29:09] Is a child's new preoccupation with sex normal? If there was abuse, it needs to be addressed immediately.  [30:30] If your kid has a sudden change of behavior, look at their browser history and see what they've been looking at. [31:53] If your kid is acting out, they could be watching porn. Watching porn can become their normal expectation of sex. Find out and get help from counselors etc.  [33:33] Porn today is really graphic and humiliating.  [34:19] Find out where your child feels more comfortable and talk to them.  [35:18] Be aware of the incognito button on the browser. Kids can also get exposure from other kids and devices.  [36:32] You know something is going on. You need to get to the bottom of it. Do the hard work for them.  [37:23] HIV is still an issue. There are HIV positive teenagers who didn't know their status. Regular kids are becoming HIV positive. Get them tested, because there is treatment for it.  [39:26] We want our kids to have long and full lives.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page Rise & Radke @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Sign Up for Insider Access How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex Without Crying Body Talk II… Stream(H)er Protect Young Minds Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today's Young Kids

This is the first time I've rereleased an episode. I'm interupting our season on teens, social media and sex to rerelease an episode that came out around Christmas time with my friend Billie Jean Johnson. This was a powerful episode. I heard from so many of you that this episode moved you, challenged you, and made you think that you might want something more or different from your life. Billie Jean was facing one of the hardest challenges of her life, and she lost. At least, here on Earth. On Thursday February 13th, Billie Jean took her last breath. Now she is probably healthier and happier than I've ever seen her. Which is saying something, because I'm pretty sure Billie Jean was happy 99% of the time. If you're looking at Earthly standards  then I guess Billie Jean lost. If you're looking at what cancer wins and what people lose, then she lost. If you're anything like me, her husband, or her kids you know she didn't lose. She won everything she was fighting for.  To remember Billie Jean Johnson, I'm rereleasing this episode. I'm going to miss Billie Jean. I'm going to take with me lessons that she taught me when we sat face to face towards the end of her life. If you haven't listened to this episode, here's your chance. Think about this family this week. We’ll have a service for her this coming Saturday the 22nd. No doubt, it will be packed. She touched so many people. Her work here is done and ours is just beginning. This is for Billie Jean.  Show Notes: [07:50] Billy Jean’s go-to meal in Lufkin would be a turkey burger from Mom's Diner. [07:57] Friendship means family and being there through the good and the ugly.  [08:23] Every one Billie Jean knows has risen to this season.  [09:16] Billie Jean has many roles and the actress who would play her might surprise you. [09:47] Billie Jean has always been an optimistic person. She believes that God is good and only gives good gifts.  [10:22] Her perspective on life is taking care of what God has put her here to do and nothing else matters. [11:43] Her family is her greatest testimony, so she's letting them see how she can live and die graciously. [14:15] Billie Jean had a great health report from the doctor. Two weeks later they went back to the doctor, and found out that the tumors had grown. There were so many tumors that Billie Jean wouldn't make it through the surgery to remove them. [15:20] When Billie Jean and her husband heard this news, they were shocked.  [16:25] Billie Jean doesn't worry about the fear of dying, it's what she leaves behind that has to wrestle with the pain.  [17:20] Years ago, Billie Jean dealt with losing her dad from addiction and her sister's addiction. She then took care of her sister's children. The whole experience was an emotional roller coaster for Billie Jean.  [18:31] She cried out to God, and he took the pain away from her. [21:31] She can't complain about cancer or ask God for anymore, because of all the wonderful things he has done for her in this life. [22:29] Billie Jean trusts that God's going to help take care of her family. She believes that whatever the reason for all of this is that God's fulfilling his purpose. [23:19] Moms want to prepare their children as much as they can, but they don't really know how. We don't know what we're doing, but what we do know is that we're going to be gracious to each other. [25:48] Billie Jean's relationship with God is very sweet.  [25:43] When she is really having a hard day, she listens to worship music and let's her family know she loves them.  [27:39] God's love is so rich. If your emotions aren't benefiting, you try something else. Don't stop talking to him, and he won't leave you stranded. [29:28] Billie Jean used to think that she was introverted and didn't have friends, but the love and support of her community has been overwhelming. [29:58] Treat everybody well, because you never know when you'll need to be treated well. [31:58] For Billy Jean, material things mean absolutely nothing. Her perspective is shifting from worldly to heavenly. Spiritual awareness and relationships are what matter to her now. [35:33] If everybody got to choose how they live, they wouldn't be so overburdened with their schedules. The big things are teaching your children how to deal with everyday life. [36:31] Stop and let your children see you for who you really are. [39:00] Everything that was once important has shifted. [41:26] Billie Jean used to be the girliest girl ever. [42:09] Billie Jean shares her favorite uplifting songs and scriptures with us. John 14:27 and Joshua 1:9 [43:21] Her family is being strong for her, and she knows that it's hard.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page Rise & Radke @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You The Goodness of God Raise A Hallelujah Fear Is a Liar Way Maker

There's a running list of things I don't understand and one of them is the internet. The internet is constantly changing. It goes deep and wide. Another thing I don't understand is teenagers. We may just use the internet for the things that we normally do like podcasts, shopping Facebook, and the rest. But teenagers, what do they do on the internet? Do they feel the same as we do and just use the internet for Amazon Prime orders, social posts, and reading safe blogs? I may not understand teens and I may not understand the vastness of the internet, but I've come to my senses when it comes to teens and the World Wide Web. We can't bury our heads in the sand. That is why Christina Jontra is the perfect guest for today’s show and today’s times. Christina has a background in teaching and technology. When working in a school, she noticed an alarming trend with kids internet use and being preyed on by predators. YouTube, social media, and games with chat are all tools that predators can use to patiently groom our children for a disastrous meeting.  The internet is also permanent. Most of us don’t have to worry about the dumb things we did as teens or preteens following us around, but our kids do. There are also dangers of accidentally stumbling on porn or graphic violence. There are also issues with kids being bullied or feeling left out of things that can impact their self esteem. This is why Christina started Neptune Navigate. She educates parents, kids, and teens on how to navigate in this digital age. We talk about when a kid should get a mobile device, how to monitor kids usage, ways to educate you and your teen, and how to find out more by asking Christina questions.  Show Notes: [05:33] Christina was the director of digital learning at Grace Community School in Tyler, TX.  [06:48] Her school had an iPad program where each student got an iPad. Christina felt such responsibility turning the kids loose on the internet. A young girl was being harassed by a boy through the messaging app Kik.  [08:14] Kik only keeps 50 interactions. The boy in question wasn't doing it. Someone had stolen his likeness.  [09:56] Christina wanted the email account attached to that boy's account. Kik a Canadian company wouldn't share it. [10:32] Christina's husband overhears some kids talking about pretending to be older than they are on Kik.  [11:00] They informed the kids' parents. [13:09] Christina discovers how patient sexual predators can be. A predator played games online with a young girl for years before coming to her town and raping her. The young woman spent her senior year of high school testifying in three trials.  [13:38] Christina began reading and researching this. She spent hours researching and started talking to parents about things they could do at home to help keep their kids safe. [14:55] The young woman who was raped decided to also talk to the parents. [15:44] Mobile devices can give predators easy access to our kids. [16:50] After eight years, Christina quit her job and decided to help educate parents and children how to better navigate this digital world.  [17:27] They launched a year ago as a research library. Now they are going to put everything out for free. They also have a school program.  [19:30] There is no magic bullet or wall high enough to keep the bad stuff off. [21:11] Sit down with your kids and look at the phone together. Look at the camera roll. Kids take pictures of things they like. [21:50] See who your kids follow on social media and who follows them. Ask who people are and check your kids privacy settings. [22:17] When kids first get on social media make their account private. [24:59] Put restrictions on what your kids can install and monitor their texts. [26:42] YouTube exposes kids to lots of danger.  [28:00] Pedophiles hang out on YouTube and find videos of kids doing things like gymnastics.  [30:24] Have kids work online in the front room not only in their bedrooms. [31:50] Trafficked kids are targeted through online activities and mobile devices.  [34:00] Texas now has a law covering sextortion.  [35:18] Maybe our kids are screaming to be seen, and we should put the device down more often and look them in the eye. [37:10] Digital citizenship is how to use email and digital life correctly.  [38:03] Social media remains, even after we are gone. We need to talk to our kids about what they do online. [42:41] If we could get an army of mom's to report porn on Instagram it would be effective. [43:58] You are more. The number of likes does not matter. Look up from your phone.  [44:52] No devices in bedrooms. Everyone charges devices in a safe place(mom's room). Every family should have a technology curfew at 9:00 at night. [46:29] No phones until 8th grade. Collect phones at sleepovers. Teach kids the party still happens without pictures.  [52:14] Christina loves carne asada from Don Juan's. [53:31] When you work at home, you've got to make that phone call to have and make new friends. [54:11] Find out what Christina and Leslie Jones have in common. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Sign Up for Insider Access Neptune Navigate Neptune Navigate on Facebook Christina Jontra on Instagram Your Online Life, Permanent as a Tattoo I Have a New Name - Hosanna Poetry

About 10 years ago, I wasn't doing any of the things I'm doing now. I wasn't writing books. I wasn't hosting podcasts. I was sitting at home and watching other women go first. A lot of us find someone who is doing what we want to do and we follow them and root for them and listen closely when they speak. I was at home watching Rebekah Lyons. I've loved her from the moment I heard her speak. This might surprise some of you, after hearing this interview, because we couldn't be more different. She is all love, light, kindness and gracefulness.  I've watched her long enough to know that what she speaks she walks. That's all you can ask for. Put people in front of me who are paving the way with truth, candor, and authenticity. She is all of these things. As we wrap up the series on rest, sabbath, pause, uncluttering, slowing down and being intentional we couldn't have found a better guest to end it with.  Rebekah Lyons is a national speaker and bestselling author of Rhythms of Renewal: Trading Stress and Anxiety for a Life of Peace and Purpose, You Are Free: Be Who You Already Are and Freefall to Fly: A Breathtaking Journey Toward a Life of Meaning. An old soul with a contemporary, honest voice, Rebekah reveals her own battles to overcome anxiety and depression—and invites others to discover and boldly pursue their God-given purpose from a place of freedom. Finding joy in raising a special needs child—Rebekah wears her heart on her sleeve, a benefit to friends and readers alike. Show Notes: [03:05] Rebekah was one of the first people that Melissa followed on Instagram. [04:16] Rebekah and her husband run a non-profit.  [06:37] The first time Rebekah spoke publicly, she was vulnerable about her journey. [08:50] Freefall to Fly was a chronicle of Rebekah's crash and burn. Her family moved from Atlanta to New York City. She tells a lot of stories about this season and how she wanted to run back to the South.  [12:11] God put her in a place that she wasn't excited about, but those were the transformative times in her life.  [13:02] Rebekah started experiencing claustrophobia. She would take stairs to avoid elevators and stopped riding the subway. [13:31] She was outgoing and energetic but became a shell of who she was because she couldn't go anywhere. [14:12] There are different panic attack triggers for different people. [15:50] Rebekah had a relapse, but then had to ask if she was a fraud in her next book. Her patterns of chronic stress had to be reformed. [17:50] There's renewal happening everyday. [18:52] Don't do the same thing over and over and expect it to be different. [20:09] We have to do the work. We can't fix patterns of behavior and thinking in one day.  [23:29] Don't settle for a story someone tries to impose on you. Ask God to remind you of the story that he has already set in motion and that's part of the healing journey. [25:11] We're going to talk about the four rhythms or disciplines that Rebekah feels are essential to feeling less anxiety and stress. [25:55] They are rest, restore, connect, and create. Rest and restore are the input rhythms that fill you up. Connect and create are the output rhythms. [26:09] 77% of society have physical symptoms of stress. As a result, we need to rest. [27:37] Life starts in rhythm. Each rhythm is a different part of our health.  [29:50] Her book has a lot of practical ways on how to slow down. [30:50] We don't have to share everything. Whose validation are we seeking? [31:31] Our worth isn't attached to what we share with other people. We are worthy of rest and indulgence.   [34:04] Until you get quiet you can't know what your heart needs to confess.  [36:26] Rebekah spent two days pulling weeds. She wanted to recover the passion of her vocation. She pulled weeds like distractions.  [39:06] Sometimes we say yes to things when we shouldn't because they crowd out what we should be doing.  [40:07] Rebekah and her family took a big risk with their adopted daughter. They moved to Nashville. They then adopted a little girl with down syndrome and her name is Joy.  [44:29] God was there every step of the way and knew that they were going to adopt this little girl. They have had her for 14 months. [47:46] Rebekah loves Franklin Juice BomBom Acai bowls.  [49:20] Friendship is where both people are willing to be vulnerable. Both can hear and say things to each other.  [50:08] Who would play Rebekah in a movie????? Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Sign Up for Insider Access Rebekah Lyons Rebekah Lyons on Facebook Rebekah Lyons on Instagram Rebekah Lyons on Twitter Rhythms of Renewal: Trading Stress and Anxiety for a Life of Peace and Purpose You Are Free: Be Who You Already Are Freefall to Fly: A Breathtaking Journey Toward a Life of Meaning IF:Gathering Who Has Time for Eyeliner? Man’s Search for Meaning The Book of Waking Up: Experiencing the Divine Love That Reorders a Life Annie Downs Franklin Juice

Melissa and David are here today to answer listener questions. Melissa loves it when people ask questions. We appreciate you trusting us with all of the things we'll be talking about today and on future episodes. The last couple of weeks have been dedicated to something that Melissa just can't wrap her mind around. We've been talking about being still, organizing, and decluttering our homes and our hearts, space, and putting your phone away.  If someone would have told me that in the year 1994 when David and I got married that someday David would be checking his phone while we were having conversations, and I would be checking my watch for incoming messages, I would have laughed them out of house and home. Here we are learning how to create space and balance in a way that we didn't have to learn back then. We are navigating a whole new world. Before we dive into the listener questions, we just want to say thank you for trusting us with your questions, even though we don't have all of the answers. We do love each other very much, and we are in this marriage for the long haul. We work really hard on our marriage, so we are going to try and do the best we can with your questions. David also wanted to share that just asking the question or talking about it or hearing someone else talk it can help you feel less alone. Show Notes: [06:34] Someone from Vista, California said she loves the show. Her and her husband will be married 35 years. The only way she could keep balance when the kids were young was to go away on weekends every three to four months. [09:00] Question from Sarah: How to get a guilt free girls night? Her husband only does stuff with her. He doesn't have any friends and doesn't go out. [10:27] Sarah has guilt going out, because her husband just wants to be with her. [11:48] David suggests Sarah's husband be supportive. One of the ways Melissa recharges is by spending time by herself or by spending time with other people. [12:20] When Melissa and David got married, David was jealous of her time. This has changed, because David discovered that Melissa becomes better after having time off with her friends or family.  [14:29] It's a good idea to have moments of conversation about how important it is and be nice and treat other people well. Say thank you, and it wouldn't hurt to help him find a hobby.  [15:19] Selena is the adoptive mother of a special-needs child. He is now an adult, and Selena is struggling with drawing lines in the sand and kind of pushing him out of the nest. At what point does she say you're ready and it's time to go? [17:04] We are at a double deficit when it comes to answering this question. We don't have a special needs child, and we haven't come to the season where we release our children out into the world. [18:00] Every situation with every child is going to be different. Seeking counseling with people who have expertise and can give true insight on your specific situation would be a good idea. [18:33] It seems to Melissa that you have dealt with this for so many years that you and your husband are a little off-balance on how to be alone and how to make time for one another. [21:45] Ellen asks how to schedule sex in your life when you and your partner have opposite schedules? [22:12] Men can be more flexible, try to find a time that works for Ellen. There's something romantic and life giving when the other partner is intentional.  [25:29] It can't be pushed away for too long without having some effect. [27:29] Donna asks how to come to an agreement when it's time to talk about a problem? This gives her anxiety. If we don't communicate to begin with, how could we communicate about a problem? [28:25] Not communicating at all is a red flag. We are firm believers in marriage counseling. When there are problems, husbands don't want to go. Invest in a counselor now, before you are engulfed in flames. Dig your well before you need the water.  [29:52] Look into the Enneagram. It's an internal GPS for who you both are.  [31:57] Before having the tough questions, tackle easier communication. The Enneagram can really help you learn about yourself and your spouse. Schedule communication.  [34:47] Both people need to honor and respect this. Hold up one hand like a stop sign (not talk to the hand) when it's time to stop talking about things that are escalating.  [36:06] Jaime believes that there is a low in January. She is having a hard time with her marriage.  [37:17] We go through seasons, but then settle back into real life and the day-to-day. The biggest thing is to be intentional with your actions, marriage, or relationships. Write down what you want to see.  [38:59] We have a soft spot in our hearts for marriages and relationships. We feel your call Jaime.  [39:50] When you pull back the layers, ask if you are going anywhere. We can try anything when we know that we aren’t leaving. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Sign Up for Insider Access Enneagram

A few months ago I got a book in the mail titled Uncluttered. Imagine that frozen moment in time, when I was holding this book while standing in my kitchen surrounded by, you guessed it, clutter! In spite of the stuff that creates clutter, today's podcast isn't about removing physical clutter. It's about removing noise, stress, and over commitments. This show is for anyone who wakes up from a nap and says, "I wish I could do that again."  It's for people who buy books and find them later dusty and unread. It's for those who meet God on vacation or in quiet moments and wish they had more times like that. Courtney Ellis is a writer, speaker, and mom of three. She serves alongside her husband as a Presbyterian pastor in Southern California. She is the author of Uncluttered and Almost Holy Mama. Courtney is also an advocate for minimal-ish living, a crossword puzzle nerd, and a candy connoisseur.  This episode will hit home for a lot of you, because it’s about discovering that there is room and space in our lives for the things that matter. We just have to sometimes make that room. Courtney shares her journey with getting rid of physical, digital, and time clutter and learning to let go and rest. She shares how to make it a personal experience depending on the seasons and preferences of your family. It’s all about living with less to create more. This is a fun, practical, and sweet interview. I know you’re going to love Courtney as much as I do.  Show Notes: [03:20] Courtney grew up in the Midwest. She's from Wisconsin. She now lives in Southern California with her family where she has a fear of earthquakes. [04:38] Her oldest son is seven. Her middle son is 3 and 1/2. She also has a nine month old baby girl. [04:59] Courtney and her husband are co-pastors in a Presbyterian Church. They take turns being home with the kids. [06:08] It's easy to burn out if you aren't caring for your marriage and caring for your soul. Simplicity, Sabbath practice, and resting are even more important for those of us who serve in ministry. [06:53] Courtney has written two books, and they both came out the same year.  [07:43] Writing is what fills Courtney's cup back up.  [08:09] The lessons of Courtney's books are universal, because they aren't how to books, they are me to books. They are invitations to practice spiritual practices and live with less, so God can give you more. [09:29] Uncluttered is about going from overwhelmed to rest. Her schedule, closets, and digital media were too full. Something had to change, because she couldn't go on that way any longer. [10:04] The book is all about less. It's about how she pared down her digital life and cleaned out her closets. The second half of the book was the biggest surprise to her, because she started writing about less and God started teaching her about more. [10:36] God wanted to give her amazing things, but her schedule had no room. It's the story of more to less to more. [15:24] Courtney and her family began the journey by stopping. They stopped buying non-essentials, and they stopped putting things on their calendar. [16:10] They also have a sacred family Sabbath. They rest, play, and nap. They have to say no to a lot to make it happen, but it reset every other area in their lives. [19:26] Possessions aren't neutral. Everything we have takes time to store, care for, and manage. Each possession was stealing time from Courtney. She wanted that valuable time back. [22:28] Uncluttering the soul and the spirit has changed everything for Courtney and her family. She also pared-down social media. We can make the choices whether we want to give our time away or not. [25:49] What would you do if the end result was hearing God better? [28:46] For Courtney, it was a journey of God being willing to meet her where she is in her life now. [29:26] Courtney would meditate on scripture in the shower or pray while she was folding laundry. [30:06] We don't have to wait, God will meet us where we are. [33:00] We wrap up with three fun questions that may or may not include Asian Box, sitting with someone in a messy house, and Michelle Williams.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page Rise & Radke @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Courtney B. Ellis Uncluttered: Free Your Space, Free Your Schedule, Free Your Soul Almost Holy Mama: Life-Giving Spiritual Practices for Weary Parents Courtney Ellis on Twitter Courtney Ellis on Facebook Sleeping at Last

I was sent a copy of The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by author John Mark Comer. This book and topic were so wonderful and so needed in my life, that I found myself a bit nervous to interview John on this show. He turned out to be as smart, kind, well-spoken, and humble as his book. He's done his research, and he's lived what he writes about. You'll enjoy every moment of this wonderful interview. John lives, works, and writes in the urban core of Portland, Oregon, with his wife, Tammy, and their three children, Jude, Moses, and Sunday.  He is the pastor for teaching and vision at Bridgetown Church. A church built around the very simple idea of practicing the way of Jesus, together, in Portland. As for education, John Mark holds a master’s degree in biblical and theological studies from Western Seminary, and is currently at work on a doctorate in spiritual formation through Fuller Seminary and the Dallas Willard Center. I love everything about John’s book, and I think you will too.  Show Notes: [06:52] John dedicated this book to Dallas Willard. I first heard of Dallas Willard in John Ortberg's book Soul Keeping. [07:23] John reads Soul Keeping every summer. [08:05] John Ortberg was mentored by Dallas Willard.  [09:02] As Dallas Willard was dying he narrated the event. His last words were thank you. [11:08] John had three or four aha moments before writing this book. [11:47] John had emotional, relational, and spiritual symptoms. He was burnt out. He wasn't enjoying his work. [12:52] When he came across the concept of hurry that Willard called the great enemy of spiritual life in our day. He realized this was the naming of one of the key issues under all of his symptoms. This was all her moment number one. [13:17] Aha moment number two was when he realized that people are just too busy to live emotionally healthy and spiritually rich lives. [15:02] His third aha moment was when he put his thoughts together on hurry and it resonated and connected with the community. [16:32] He decided to put all these thoughts together and write a book. [19:32] By the time you're in your twenties or thirties, you can take a guess at who you're becoming. This feeling eventually goes away and is replaced with this is who I became. [22:37] The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry was from a quote by Dallas Willard, who was a philosopher at the University of Southern California. He is best known as a writer and a teacher of the way of Jesus. [24:05] John Ortberg was mentored by Willard who told him he must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from life. Hurry is the great spiritual enemy of life today. [24:37] His entire book was built around this story. [25:37] A physician in the 50s was the first to connect the dots between stress and heart disease. [27:48] The 1950's were the beginning of hurry disease. [28:42] 2007 and 2010 was the release of the smartphone. It's easy to think that this pace of life is normal.  [30:32] The badge of honor that we wear for our business makes us seem important.  [31:05] The problem is when we have too much to do and have to hurry. [31:42] Healthy business is that you are giving your life away.  [32:09] Pathological busyness is where you have too much to do but not enough time to do it. [32:30] The frenetic fast pace can kill off love, deep relationships, longevity, soul care, and awareness. [33:56] What we feed we call forth. Your life is no more than the sum of what you devote your attention too. [35:03] What we give our time to is what we will become. [36:08] The end of the book is practical with a step-by-step method.  [37:22] Life is complex. Slowing down can be hard. There are practices from the ways of Jesus that are incredibly effective at slowing down and tapping into what Jesus called live's that are full. [39:07] Followers of Jesus are usually referred to as disciples or family. A better translation for disciple might be the word apprentice. [41:01] To apprentice under Jesus is to organize your life around three basic goals. Be with Jesus. Become like Jesus. Do what he would do if he were you. [43:03] This practice has been life-changing for John and his family. They have a full day together every week with the phones off. [45:28] It's created a space for his family to be together and be happier. [47:53] John loves potato hash at Proud Mary.  [49:40] Friendship is the mix of vulnerability and accountability. [50:36] John shares who could play him in a movie.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page Rise & Radke @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You John Mark Comer John Mark Comer on Facebook John Mark Comer on Instagram John Mark Comer on Twitter Bridgetown Church jmc@bridgetown.church The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World Books by John Mark Comer Dallas Willard Soul Keeping: Caring For the Most Important Part of You

I've had several guests come on the show, and they all want to talk about decluttering. Some want to declutter our schedules and some want to declutter our kitchen cabinets, but they all say to declutter our lives is to declutter our souls. Today's guest is knowledgeable, funny, charming, and she is an expert at getting rid of clutter. I know I’ll learn a thing or two from her and so will you. Allie Casazza is the host of The Purpose Show - a top-rated podcast - and the creator of online courses that have earned her international attention for her fresh, practical lifestyle strategies for moms. Known as 'The Life Minimalist', she encourages and inspires women to pursue abundant life by creating space for what matters most. Allie and her husband, Brian, live with their four young children in Southern California wine country. Her signature course, Your Uncluttered Home, is available for $100 off (normally $297) for a limited time only. She's running this sale in coordination with her annual free challenge called Declutter Like A Mother. This price will be available through January 15th at midnight PST.  Show Notes: [03:06] Allie serves women and mothers who feel overwhelmed with life and schedule. She loves helping them find routines that are light and bright and serve their lifestyles. [04:02] Allie has four children and lives in Southern California. [04:26] Most people who have something to offer the world find it was born out of going through a really hard time in life. That's what happened to Allie. [04:37] She was depressed and overwhelmed with her role as a mother and wife. [06:10] She was overwhelmed and wasn't happy with the way she was showing up and living her life with her family. [09:14] Allie knew she needed to fix the source, but she was so desperate that she almost went and got medication. [09:35] She decided to get rid of everything that wasn't used or loved. It took a few months to get rid of the clutter, but her health felt different after the first day. [10:48] Having what needs to be and nothing extra enables her to travel and run a business and do all the things that she does. [11:10] Allie teaches online classes. She shared her journey on her blog. People were sharing her great ideas.  [12:05] She wrote an ebook, but realized online courses were a better format. She is good at marketing and loves working from home and helping other women. [14:02] Melissa is a mom who gets overwhelmed easily. She admires Allies organizational skills and entrepreneurial ability. [15:51] It all starts at home. We can only do one thing at a time. The physical act of decluttering and letting go of weight in your physical space will make you feel better.  [18:25] If you have a beautiful room you want to spend time in, you are more likely to pray or meditate or spend time with God. [19:03] Any habit you want to change begins with your environment. Decluttering is a physical act that can make your life better. [20:21] You become a better person by creating spaces that you enjoy. [22:24] Allie just started blogging for herself and now she has a huge following. [28:18] Allie has big plans. Her revenue comes from courses about getting your life together at home. When you trip over a secret and have the audacity to share it money follows. [30:12] Once Allie's business started taking off, minimalism became a trend. She was worried that she wasn't famous or fast enough.  [30:38] Even though, there are multiple teachers in this niche, they do not have Allie's voice and Allie's legacy. [33:12] In Allie's business, she is working on simplifying and only doing things that move the needle forward. [33:49] She wants to show up in a way that brings impact, revenue, and change. She is also coaching, and she has some new courses coming out including a simplifying homeschooling course. [34:47] This season is about taking out the unnecessary and focusing on the goal. [35:04] Allies husband quit his job and is helping out with the business.  [36:22] Allie loves going to fancy dinners. She gets a skinny margarita and a giant burger at her favorite local place.  [37:36] Friendship is having the ability to connect, share, and be together without the burden of expectations. [39:06] Elizabeth Olsen or Anne Hathaway would play her in a movie.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page Rise & Radke @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Your Uncluttered Home Declutter Like a Mother The Purpose Show Podcast Allie Casazza on Instagram Allie Casazza on Facebook The Purpose Show on YouTube Mama Needs A Reboot: Overcome the overwhelm and live on purpose. Triggers: Exchanging Parents' Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

I am sitting down with my friend Billie Jean Johnson on this very special Christmas, because any Christmas we are lucky enough to have is special. Even more so for some of us. Billie Jean is funny, sarcastic, and loud. She has a smile that spreads all the way across her face. She’s the queen of laughing at her own jokes, and she thinks she’s the funniest person in the room. The first time we met, I attended a party she was hosting and nothing was home cooked. She's been married to the love of her life over 25 years. She’s a parent and a grandparent. She’s a faithful and loyal friend who’s never met a purse or a fake set of nails that she doesn't love. She likes big Texas cars and long hair extensions. She is more girly girl than I am on my best day. Every time I've seen her she's been dressed to the nines. Yet, she's never uppity and has zero pretense. She is someone who believes in community. She built a rehabilitation and recovery center for people with addictions. She has fed inner-city families on Thanksgiving with her giant walk-through Thanksgiving buffet. She has literally brought hundreds of volunteers together to serve dinner plates to shut-ins. Billie Jean isn’t on the show today  for the amazing things that she has done. She’s here because of where she’s going. Unless a miracle happens, this will be the last Christmas that Billie Jean has with her husband Jeramy and her girls, Haley and Jessica. It will be the last Christmas she watches her grandson or son-in-law open gifts. Stupid, horrible, spiteful cancer may very well win this one. I asked Billy Jean a few weeks ago if I could sit with her in silence and grief and ask her some questions. We often want to ask questions of those with one foot on the other side, but are too afraid too. It’s an honor to sit and talk with Billie Jean on this episode. Show Notes: [05:17] Billy Jeans go to meal in Lufkin would be a turkey burger from Mom's Diner. [05:54] Friendship means family and being there through the good and the ugly.  [06:20] Every one Billie Jean knows has risen to this season.  [07:13] Billie Jean has many roles and the actress who would play her might surprise you. [07:43] Billie Jean has always been an optimistic person. She believes that God is good and only gives good gifts.  [08:19] Her perspective on life is taking care of what God has put her here to do and nothing else matters. [09:40] Her family is her greatest testimony, so she's letting them see how she can live and die graciously. [12:12] Billie Jean had a great health report from the doctor. Two weeks later they went back to the doctor, and found out that the tumors had grown. There were so many tumors that Billie Jean wouldn't make it through the surgery to remove them. [13:17] When Billie Jean and her husband heard this news, they were shocked.  [14:22] Billie Jean doesn't worry about the fear of dying, it's what she leaves behind that has to wrestle with the pain.  [15:17] Years ago, Billie Jean dealt with losing her dad from addiction and her sister's addiction. She then took care of her sister's children. The whole experience was an emotional roller coaster for Billie Jean.  [16:28] She cried out to God, and he took the pain away from her. [19:29] She can't complain about cancer or ask God for anymore, because of all the wonderful things he has done for her in this life. [20:26] Billie Jean trusts that God's going to help take care of her family. She believes that whatever the reason for all of this is that God's fulfilling his purpose. [21:16] Moms want to prepare their children as much as they can, but they don't really know how. We don't know what we're doing, but what we do know is that we're going to be gracious to each other. [22:45] Billie Jean's relationship with God is very sweet.  [23:40] When she is really having a hard day, she listens to worship music and let's her family know she loves them.  [25:36] God's love is so rich. If your emotions aren't benefiting, you try something else. Don't stop talking to him, and he won't leave you stranded. [27:25] Billie Jean used to think that she was introverted and didn't have friends, but the love and support of her community has been overwhelming. [27:55] Treat everybody well, because you never know when you'll need to be treated well. [29:55] For Billy Jean, material things mean absolutely nothing. Her perspective is shifting from worldly to heavenly. Spiritual awareness and relationships are what matter to her now. [33:30] If everybody got to choose how they live, they wouldn't be so overburdened with their schedules. The big things are teaching your children how to deal with everyday life. [34:28] Stop and let your children see you for who you really are. [36:57] Everything that was once important has shifted. [38:23] Billie Jean used to be the girliest girl ever. [40:06] Billie Jean shares her favorite uplifting songs and scriptures with us. John 14:27 and Joshua 1:9 [41:18] Her family is being strong for her, and she knows that it's hard.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page Rise & Radke @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You The Goodness of God Raise A Hallelujah Fear Is a Liar Way Maker

Hello everyone! It's the holidays. Are you feeling it yet? I remember when I was working outside the home, and I felt like I just couldn't get Christmas right. My time was limited. My funds were limited. And Christmas Eve or the day before would be just like a blur. I hated that feeling.  Eventually, I was able to leave that job. Even though I loved it, and start working for myself. It was from home, and I thought that now I can do Christmas right. I thought I would conquer Christmas and be able to rest and delight in it. Guess what happens when you work from home? Your time is still limited. Your funds are still Limited. Maybe even more so. There aren't enough Starbucks peppermint mochas in the world or Hallmark movies to slow down the busyness of the season. I don't think highly enough of myself that I'm going to fix it with this one podcast. I'm not even going to try. Christmas is busy. Christmas is costly. It was that way for your parents, your grandparents, and it'll be that way for your kids. So what I'm actually going to talk about today is what do we do when the holidays are upon us, but we are grieving. It's one thing to be busy, but it's another thing entirely to be broken. On Christmas morning 2005 at 6:30 am, my son Elisha Cooper Radke came into this world. An hour later we were handing him back to God. This is what it’s like to be broken on Christmas.  Show Notes: [04:04] Elisha came, stayed for one hour and he left. Christmas has never been the same.  [04:54] Every Christmas Eve around 10:40 p.m. I will feel a pain in my heart. It happens every year at that time, because that's when I went into labor. [06:09] I tell people that I walk with a limp through the holidays and I do and I probably always will. [07:06] I have a feeling that today some of you know exactly what I'm talking about. [08:29] For some of you, this will be your first Christmas without your spouse or your child. It could be your first Christmas without a job, home or best friend.  [09:43] This episode is for you. There is nothing wrong with you. I'm speaking to anyone and everyone who walks with a limp at Christmas time. [10:33] We are drawn to Hallmark movies because everything ends up perfectly. [11:10] Holidays are the time of year when we want everything to end up perfectly. [11:46] A day will come when love fills the room more than pain does. The pain of what you lost will pale in comparison to the joy of what you found. [12:54] Take a moment and look around. Everyone is hurting with their own pain. Pain comes to us all. So does love. [15:52] If things had happened differently, would I have experienced the same joy and pain? Would Christmas mean as much? Even though I walk with a limp on Christmas, love has the final say. [17:31] I wouldn't choose it, but I wouldn't change it. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page Rise & Radke @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Home Chef Use promo code MelissaR80 to get $20 off your first four meals $80 off total

This episode is one that I recorded a few months ago and wasn't going to air until 2020, but this episode has been weighing on my mind. I think that was because this episode needs to be played now. It's the holiday season, but your not going to hear any mention of the holidays, but what you will hear is a powerful story and a delightful interview. And for whatever reason, that I can't explain, somebody is supposed to hear this podcast now.  Today’s guest is LeAnne Sheddan Pyzer who describes herself as a pastors wife, mom, grandmother (WHAT??!!), who just turned 40 years old and is learning to live beyond surviving. She was a missionary kid/pastor's kid who went rogue, then was redeemed, and is living life in a rural town in Northern California. We also discovered that we are related. My grandfather and LeAnne’s grandmother are siblings.  I do remember my family receiving Christmas cards from the Sheddans. Which is LeAnne’s maiden name. They were from exotic locations overseas. LeAnne was from a missionary family and grew up in Portugal, Japan, and the Philippines. That’s not all of her story though. That’s just the beginning. I hope you find LeAnne as delightful as I do and her story just as inspiring.  Show Notes: [07:49] When LeAnne was four months old her family went to Portugal for four years. Then they would come back to the US for a year, before making another four year journey. She grew up in Portugal, Japan, and the Philippines.  [08:17] The traveling was great until she turned about 12, then she just wanted to be normal.  [09:29] LeAnne was adopted. In 1979, when she was born and adoptions were closed.  [11:15] When she turned 18, she discovered that she was the product of sexual assault.  [14:02] When coming back to the states, she enrolled in High School. She began making compromises to fit in and viewing her faith and her parents faith as a detriment to fit in. She went full prodigal.  [15:56] She believed in God but didn't want to have anything to do with God and church.  [16:13] She rebelled strongly and did a 180 with morals and values.  [17:25] She ended up pregnant, which jarred her back to a journey towards a faith.  [18:33] She got married super quickly and super young. LeAnne and her husband were two teenagers with a baby and another one on the way.  [19:37] The marriage turned abusive, but LeAnne didn't want to add divorce to her list of mistakes.   [21:29] LeAnne ended up divorced with three babies age two, three, and four.  [22:17] She moved to Northern California to be close to her parents, and she started going to her dad's church.  [24:30] LeAnne had resolved herself to being a single mom raising her three children. Then she met the youth pastor who had been single for a long time, but had a lot of women after him. [25:12] He was nine years older than her. On the first date they went to Red Lobster. He said that he was interested in a relationship and asked her how she felt about being a pastor's wife and how she felt about being poor. [26:29] They knew by the end of the night that they were going to be married. [26:39] LeAnne and Zach now have another child. [29:14] They were in a small town called Hidden Valley Lake in Northern California. It was fire season. The valley fire had been one of the most devastating wildfires up until that point.  [30:25] They had about 15 minutes to evacuate before their home was burned to the ground. It devastated the whole community.  [30:42] The fire hit with no warning, and they had to run for their lives. There were only two ways out, and one of those got blocked.  [31:01] A couple days later they found out that their house and their church burned to the ground. They had the choice to fall apart or stay strong. [32:21] The whole community was devastated, but they decided to stay and rebuild.  [32:53] The past four years have been a journey persevering and never stopping.  [34:00] It's daunting to rebuild your life. Even today, she'll reach for a kitchen tool that's not there, and it's a reminder of what she lost.  [36:35] The fire changed LeAnne's perspective. She started looking at things as opportunities not punishments.  [38:51] The heat on the road was intense driving through flames. [40:37] Three months after the devastating fire, Zach was given a diagnosis of young-onset Parkinson's disease. He was 46. [42:57] God is big enough to handle your questions, anger, and frustration. It's okay to be real with him about what you're feeling. It's okay to weep and wail and question. He is strong enough to handle that. [43:33] God has shown up for LeAnne every single time.  [46:48] LeAnne loves taco salads with no beans.  [47:22] Friendship is being there for the good the bad and the ugly. [48:24] Wynonna Judd would play her in a movie. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page Rise & Radke @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Home Chef Use promo code MelissaR80 to get $20 off your first four meals $80 off total  So I Married A Pastor – Now What? LeAnne Pyzer on Instagram LeAnne Pyzer on Facebook Prodigal in the Parsonage: Encouragement for Ministry Leaders Whose Child Rejects Faith Resurrecting | Live | Elevation Worship

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Today, David and I are talking about all things Thanksgiving. Before we begin , are you watching us in the mornings? Monday through Friday David Radke and I go live on Instagram and Facebook for what we call Rise & Radke. This is a must see. It's cute, ridiculous, and you'll gain nothing from it, except for having a really good time.  We've just come off of several weeks of talking about addiction. We received so many emails. Addiction is so prevalent, yet people don't always want to talk about it. That really struck a chord with people, but those are heavier podcasts. Today, we need something a little more light hearted. You’re probably relieved that this episode is going to be light and jolly. It is, but… we have a very large audience. Not everybody has a family like I have.  After the TV show, people often think everything with my family is always hunky-dory. It's more than likely that we are spending our Thanksgiving with people that we don't always get and who don't always get us. I know many of you listeners are probably dealing with that too. A lot of times during Thanksgiving and Christmas people just put on their Hallmark smiles. Hopefully, this show gives you the opportunity to improve your communication and have more meaningful experiences with these people that you may not see that often. Before we begin, I just want to let you know that I'm smart enough to know that I don't have all of the answers, but I'm in it with you. I'm trying to wrestle through family dysfunction just like you are. For us, this Thanksgiving is going to feel so nice, because last Thanksgiving was so hard. There was some brokenness, hurt feelings, and anger last Thanksgiving. In February and March, we fought for our family and went to Onsite to work through our issues. Now, I’m so excited for the holidays.  Show Notes: [11:20] Our family went to Onsite, and we worked through everything. Things are much easier when everyone is involved and works through the process.  [11:49] Find like mindedness if you can. I follow Jay Shetty online. He recently gave a list of things we need to stop expecting from people.  [13:22] Let's work on ourselves and not expect stuff from our family. Feelings follow actions. Be ready to pass out love.  [15:55] Melissa tries to guess David's favorite holiday. Christmas is by far his favorite. There was a period of time when Christmas created too much money stress.  [17:58] We still don't have that much more money, but what we have is an emotional perspective.  [19:10] We made a promise to be honest in these podcasts. David is more sensitive than me. This topic stirs up emotions. [20:41] Reaffirming that gifts and money don't matter can help with the holiday pressure.  [22:04] The advertisements and commercialism can inundate people with pressure to overspend or feel inadequate.  [23:41] Melissa's favorite holiday is not her birthday. Her favorite is Easter.  [24:52] Broccoli and cheese casserole and cauliflower salad are the two things that disappoint David when they are not on the Thanksgiving table.  [26:31] Melissa is going to make the cauliflower salad this year. Thanksgiving is all about the carbs.  [27:40] Her best friend from North Dakota is shocked how Melissa's family puts bacon in everything.  [28:37] Her mom's dressing is the best. Meridith makes the best potatoes. Melissa makes the best baked beans.  [30:30] David takes a long nap after dinner.  [31:46] David loved their evening Thanksgiving in Nashville. They had a country fried Thanksgiving.  [33:36] David thinks it's sad that some family members have to cut out and go to another dinner. [34:09] Melissa is already decorating for Christmas. She wants to enjoy it longer. It feels like the holidays are extended. [35:58] David is thankful that he and Melissa work together. They have great close friends. He is also thankful for the new season of Jack Ryan.  [36:52] Melissa loves her town and her kid's school. She loves that their church is growing, and it's creating community. She also loves all of the new streaming services.  [38:46] David is also excited and thankful for is coming up in 2020. [39:25] We love you. Have a beautiful and blessed Thanksgiving.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page Rise & Radke @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Home Chef Use promo code MelissaR80 to get $20 off your first four meals $80 off total  All in the Family Marriage and Martinis Anonymous Addict Onsite Workshops Jay Shetty

Over a year ago, a woman came up to me at an event and hugged my neck and shared that she'd been sober for x amount of time.  She was glowing. Her face was beaming. I assumed, that's what happens when someone beats addiction, but that wasn't it. It was just her. She was beautiful. The reason I'm talking about this is because, sometimes, we associate alcoholism with Otis Campbell from The Andy Griffith Show. Then we moved onto the Norm from Cheers stereotype, with a sloppy disheveled character. Then along came Homer Simpson. Do you see a pattern here?  We never associated alcoholism with well put together women. There are wonderful teachers who go home and drink until they pass out. There are also stay at home moms who are so sick or bored that they drink all day. I didn't know that there were pastor's wives, ER nurses, and yoga instructors that were alcoholics. But now I know, because I've met you. Every example I'm thinking of has been gorgeous, well-dressed, and smart as a whip. Not one of them looked like Homer Simpson. They could in fact be you or me. My guest today is that very woman who first came up and hugged my neck. She has since become a very precious friend of mine. I am so lucky to have ever met her at an event. I'm not sharing her name today.  She’s an active participant in Alcoholics Anonymous. She’s requested that I don't share her name. It's hard for me, because I want you to see her and meet her. But in this episode you get to learn and grow from her story. To listen to her is to love her. Trust me. The goal for today's show is that one person will hear her story and will take the first step to finding the help they need. Show Notes: [04:53] This is my guest’s first podcast. [05:35] She's a recovering addict, who's very involved in AA and believes in the anonymous part.  [06:01] She has a supportive husband who she's been with for 38 years. He was her high school sweetheart. She has two adult daughters and a four-year-old grandson. [06:46] She's a recovering alcoholic who has had seven years of continuous sobriety. [06:59] For her, drinking was a social thing. She could drink and enjoy drinking and was able to stop. When she went back to work, she felt like she deserved a drink after work. [07:37] Eventually, the drinking became a physiological habit. Her body became addicted to alcohol. [07:53] She feels fortunate to say she's a recovering alcoholic and gets to live her life again. At one point, she got to the point where she was just existing. [08:48] Our families also have their recovery. [09:39] Being sober, allowed her the opportunity to become a better listener. [10:41] When her mom was diagnosed with cancer, she had an aha moment and realized she had a big problem.  [12:52] Her family were not alcoholics, but they were codependent. [13:47] She also felt very alone. [15:09] She now thinks of alcohol as a cleaning product that is a poison to her body. She hated herself for drinking wine and taking sleeping pills.  [16:23] When she drinks alcohol, she has a physiological craving for more. [19:53] Listen and silence have the same letters, they're just rearranged. When she decided to get sober, she went to AA. [20:20] Being Sober is the first step. Being in recovery is the second step. Learning to live again is the third step. [21:08] Day treatment didn't quite work, so she went to residential treatment. After several cries, she felt lighter like an empty vessel. [22:29] She was then given the tools to be successful. [25:09] She does the right thing each day. She now has an opportunity to live.  [26:02] She is now an AA sponsor. The meetings are for her, but she does take other people and help others.  [27:46] You have a spiritual sponsor and a service sponsor.  [29:21] Children of addicts also need to seek treatment. The alcoholic can change the entire dynamic of the whole family like a chime in a wind chime.  [31:35] If you think you can do this on your own, why haven't you done it already? [35:32] Go to meal is chicken cordon bleu with mashed potatoes and asparagus. [36:13] Friendship means the world. Our anonymous guest may or may not look like a young Debbie Reynolds. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Alcoholics Anonymous Leonard Cohen

I'm from deep East Texas, and we handle things differently than they do in New Jersey. We also wear pearls and clutch them when someone says something. We don't air our dirty laundry to the world. If you've been watching me and David's Instagram Lives, you will see us sign off with bye and love you. Then the minute we get off the video, I look at him and say, "I'm going to murder you." We don't put this out for the world to see, but today's guest does.  Danielle Silverstein was a stay at home mom for 13 years until she started the Marriage & Martinis podcast and community with her husband Adam. They decided to start it after dealing with Adam’s alcoholism, gambling addiction, and other acts of betrayal, so that others who might be going through the same thing won't feel so alone. In practically no time, they found themselves with a huge following.  Danielle and I have never met before this podcast. When I told my friends I was interviewing her it was met with gasps and pearl clutching. Danielle and Adam are very open on their podcast about their sex life, and she is a self-proclaimed f-bomb dropper. Don't worry, there's none of that today. I really liked her. I wish I would have made this podcast two parts, because we could talk for a long time.  Danille is also brutally honest. Alcoholism is a problem. Gambling addiction is a problem. Sometimes she knows what to do about it, and sometimes she doesn't. Marriage & Martinis is an attempt to present a real authentic marriage at its core. It's hard to make an open and vulnerable podcast about your marriage and make it work, but Danielle and Adam have done just that. They decided to take a big risk, and now their podcasts helps them while they also help other people.  Show Notes: [04:39] Danielle is rocking average. [06:59] Danielle and Adam were both 25 when they got married. Danielle's mom stayed home, and Danielle liked that and wanted to do it for her kids and husband.  [07:39] She had a very traditional viewpoint even though she went to NYU. [08:07] She discovered that she was a really good mom, but not that great of a housewife. [09:02] When Adam's dad passed away, Adam became not present mentally and physically.  [09:24] This was in 2015, and they had three kids.  [10:42] It was almost like having a fourth child that was putting himself and others in danger. [12:13] Adam is known as party Adam. Everyone loves it, except for sometimes Danielle. They both suffer from anxiety and OCD and know that certain things are triggers.  [13:16] When Adam should have been in therapy, he turned to alcohol and gambling, and it became problematic.  [15:21] Alcohol was just one of the side effects of not wanting to deal with things and feel things.  [16:06] Adam would also take off to Atlantic City.  [17:34] Danielle finally said, it was time to fix things or she was done.  [18:18] They used to sit and have a cocktail and talk all night long. Danielle realized that they should record their conversations, and their podcast began.  [19:13] They are still actively recovering, but they are both immersed in the process of healing.  [20:36] Adam is a tech guy, and he has always loved podcasts. She also knew that Adam needed a purpose to feel like he was contributing.  [22:23] Having a podcast to share all of their issues seemed crazy, but also a good idea. They had nothing to lose.  [23:50] Danielle has OCD that's not founded in reality.  [26:10] Adam also went to therapy. The drinking was a symptom of a core issue. He can still have a drink. [28:56] Danielle thought Adam needed a way to get out of his head and start thinking about others. [30:17] Every situation is different. Alcohol wasn't Adam's biggest problem. [34:36] Danielle and Adam put everything out there in their podcast.  [35:44] They are in the arena for their marriage. It's about more support and less judgement.  [37:00] Vulnerability is a super power.  [38:38] Rapid fire questions. Danielle loves sushi.  [40:15] Friendship is vulnerability and acceptance. [40:51] If there was a movie about Danielle and Adam, it might star Anthony Bourdain and Reese Witherspoon.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Marriage & Martinis Marriage & Martinis on Instagram Marriage & Martinis on Facebook Bulletproof Coffee Onsite Brene Brown Blue Ribbon Sushi

Addiction. Don't you dare turn this podcast off. That's why I threw that word out first, because nobody likes that word. I rarely find anybody on the fence or in a gray area when it comes to addiction. For some people, it's affecting them and killing them. They want to learn all they can about it . Other people aren’t affected. It’s not their problem, so let other people worry about it. People are either on one side or the other. I've been in the people business long enough to know that this word has made its way in some form or another to everyone's front door. Someone you know is affected by addiction. Sometimes it's not in the form we think. It's not drugs or alcohol. It could be in the form of gambling, porn, shopping, food, nicotine, or something else.  Today's episode is a tough one. We're going to talk to Janelle Martin, a mother who woke up to a world of addiction. A world she knew nothing about until it affected her daughter Regan Steinert. Janelle is a mom of two kids age 20 and 18. She is in recovery because addiction affected her family. She loves and trusts Jesus completely, and has been blessed with the most amazing friends who were there for her during difficult times. Regan joins us later in the show. She is a stunningly beautiful and well-spoken woman who has faced addiction, sobriety, relapse, and pain in her very short life. She is living proof that addiction can affect anyone. Anyone can be a target. Maybe even someone in your home. Regan is 18 and in recovery. She’s a good person who loves helping people. She is artsy and creative and loves to paint, especially as a form of relaxation. Show Notes: [05:06] Janelle and her family live in Houston. They've lived in the same home for 15 years, and her kids grew up there.  [08:21] Janelle didn't know how bad things were until someone told her. She knew something was off, but she didn't know what.  [10:17] It felt like a dark cloud was following Regan. She stopped playing sports. Janelle suspected stuff, but could never catch her doing anything.  [13:29] Janelle caught Regan lying about where she was spending the night. Janelle told Regan she can't live at home if she is doing drugs, and Regan said she wasn't stopping.  [16:00] Janelle sent Regan to stay with her dad. [17:45] It took weeks for Janelle to recover from the fact that Regan was gone. [18:12] Regan spent three months at her dad's. [22:12] After a frantic call from Regan's dad, Regan ended up in a treatment center in Arizona.  [24:40] Regan didn't want to go, because she didn't want to be sober. She decided to just stay there for 45 days. She also stayed in the program for around two years. [27:21] She was finally happy, I didn't want to mess that up. [28:07] After 11 months, Regan moved back to Texas. Her friends were going to Galveston and partying, so Regan thought she could do it to.  [32:03] Regan thought she could vape THC, and everything would be fine, but it wasn't. So she talked to her mom about it, and decided to leave. [33:15] Regan was gone for three weeks. A lot of mother's can't do that tough love that Janelle did. Regan was out on the street with her dog. [36:13] Regan learned a lot of really cool stuff during her first time in recovery, but it just didn't click all the way. [36:53] She decided she wanted to be sober and called her mom. Janelle said to come home. She just got her four months three days ago. [37:28] Everything has finally clicked. She goes to meetings. She has a sponsor. Everything's working out great. [38:14] She finally graduated and is starting me to school. [38:42] Regan is genuinely happy now. [43:03] Regan thinks that she started using because of some family issues with her brother and father. She also went through a breakup.  [45:09] Regan is going to do amazing things with her life, and she stands on her own feet. [48:52] Regan loves enchiladas with rice & beans at Rancho Grande. Janelle likes the firecracker roll at Red Fish Grill. [49:54] Janelle and Regan share what friendship means to them. [52:21] The ladies dish actresses.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Home Chef Use code MelissaR80 to get $80 off your first four meals Janelle Martin on Instagram Janelle Martin on Facebook Regan Steinert on Instagram

I am so nervous about this episode, because it's the one featuring me and David. We did this episode together at the end of season 1, and it's called Road Trippin. Last season, we were on a book tour, and it was time for the podcast to come out, and I didn't have anybody to interview. David and I were on the road, so we decided to record a podcast of us just chatting together on our journey. I hated this episode, because I thought it turned out terrible. It turned out that people loved that episode with just me and David. We were talking about fast food before we pulled in and got it, talking, fighting, and just driving.  Since that episode was received so well, we decided that we would do some episodes with just David and I talking. These episodes will be spread out through season 3. For some reason, I'm a nervous wreck about this. I don't know why. We talk all the time. We even do a Facebook Live and Instagram Monday through Friday at 9:00 am. We don't have a clue what we're going to talk about, and we still do fine on that. We're just such different people, and I never know how these things are going to turn out. I wish you listeners could see what this moment looks like.  David is prepared is dressed for the day. He is wearing a button down shirt, nice shoes, and his glasses. He also has drinks in case he gets thirsty during the show and he’s wearing headphones. I'm still in my nightgown with a sweatshirt and cozy socks. This August we celebrated 25 years of marriage. We went to a matinee and Logan's Roadhouse.  David did want to remind me that two years ago, we went to Maui, but I guess the thing that makes me nervous about this episode is just that. The mundane nature of our marriage. We are so normal, and I wonder if people want to hear what we have to share or if they want to hear from couples that have it all figured out. If you remember from a couple of episodes ago, we had Jeff and Beth McCord on to talk about their Enneagram couples course. Today, we talk about the couple’s course, our Enneagram numbers, the direction of the podcast, and we have a little fun.  Show Notes: [07:40] This August we celebrated 25 years of marriage. We went to a matinee and Logan's Roadhouse. David did want to remind me that two years ago, we did go to Maui. [08:15] Melissa's dream vacations are going to Scotland and Ireland. [09:49] We may not have it all together, but we're making progress.  [10:52] We are really diving into Beth and Jeff McCord's Enneagram couple's study. David is a 3 and Melissa is a 7. These two together, when healthy, can be quite dynamic.  [13:59] It's important and eye opening to know and understand each other's Enneagram numbers.  [15:00] There's nothing Remi and her future spouse can go through that we haven't.  [16:32] I began this season talking about my emotional health. David went with me to my counseling session. I thought that was really kind of him. As a 7 that really helped me, but as a 3 I'm surprised he did it.  [18:11] David didn't want to see Melissa hurting, but he wants to look like he has it all together.  [18:51] If you love your spouse dearly, but you feel like you can't get on the same page read Becoming Us. [19:55] These principles can be applied in other relationships, not just marriage.  [23:02] Knowing people's numbers helps make us more compassionate, and we could all use more compassion in our lives.  [26:00] The most offensive word to David is average. Seven's don't talk about the way they feel a lot.  [28:51] Knowing people's number explains why they do things. [31:50] Seven's are known as entertaining optimists who live life big, but have a fear of being limited, bored, or trapped.  [32:28] The core longing is to be taken care of.  [33:06] Melissa didn't feel safe and was unsure of what was next. She needs her world to be stable.  [34:25] We as a society have a long way to go with mental health. Every single person needs to be aware of their mental health.  [37:34] Being aware of our mental health will leave the door open for others who are having problems to talk about it. [39:47] The rest of the season is going to be really great. We'll be talking about addiction, divorce, and there will be sporadic episodes with us talking.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Home Chef Use code MelissaR80 to get $80 off your first four meals Road Trippin Ennea Your Business Becoming Us Eddie Murphy - Party All the Time (Official Video)

It's doubtful we have a lot of young 20-something men listening to this podcast, but for those who are out there, listen to this show. For those of you who aren't 20-something males, you probably have a 20-something male in your life that you love, and you need to listen to this podcast too.  It's beautiful to see someone tell the story of how the church wasn't always kind to them and how people weren’t always kind to them. But Jesus was always kind to them. The church and the people are just a building and humans who can be frail and faulty. In spite of this, this Cavanaugh James turned around and served people in the church. I found this refreshing and beautiful. All of this depth came from a millennial. Cavanaugh James is the author of the book Higher Power Has a Name. He is a writer and renaissance Millennial who loves to communicate truth through vulnerability and humor. He is equal parts writer, singer, and joke-teller; utilizing all three loves on social media, in the local church, and whenever given an opportunity. He loves people and believes his greatest call is to walk hand-in-hand with them, free from judgment and full of tangible love, love that moves the mark. In this episode, Cavanaugh gets vulnerable and talks about god given purpose and identity. He talks about his life, family, and friends. He also talks about how having a personal relationship with god helped him find his god given purpose and identity. This is an episode that will inspire and surprise you as Melissa chats with Cavanaugh and even discovers that they have similar stories.  Show Notes: [02:37] Melissa's assistant found Cavanaugh on Instagram.  [04:23] Cavanaugh is from Dallas, Texas and is primarily a writer. [04:40] He grew up in the church and didn't really have a faith of his own until he was eighteen. [04:55] He left musical theater school to go to Bible College. He got involved in the church world, but his crew have church have musical theater. [05:29] Cavanaugh's day-to-day is writing and using social media as a tool. He's also very close to his family. [07:21] He serves at Gateway Church with Pastor Robert Morris.  [08:32] Cavanaugh and Melissa have similar stories.  [11:15] Cavanaugh gets vulnerable and talks about god given purpose and identity. He grew up not knowing who he was outside of family.  [13:37] At church, he heard people preach about the love of Christ and yet they weren't living it, because of the way they were treating him. [15:20] It was crucial for Cavanaugh to know who he was in Christ before anything else. [18:54] He would always go back to the Lord and see who he was supposed to be.  [22:48] The church is waiting for people to be straight, and the world is waiting for people to be gay. He's focusing on working on his relationship with the Lord and not worrying about anything else. [24:52] The enemy wants us to believe that our struggles keep us from moving towards our purpose. [29:21] Cavanaugh was living in L.A. and noticed that when they talked about faith, people's language would change. Instead of saying God, people would say a higher power.  [30:39] He got frustrated and said that a higher power has a name.  [32:25] Cavanaugh is excited about who God is and his character. He's willing to talk to anyone about it. [34:28] Darkness doesn't diminish light. It's his job to bring in the light. [37:14] A lot of people are looking at the church based on their parents or someone else's faith not their own. [39:16] Millennials respond to authenticity and sometimes don't feel like they've been told the truth. [40:41] Community is hard to find unless you're plugged into a healthy group or church. [46:38] Cav answers the rapid fire questions. We talk friendship, chicken fried steak, and actors. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Cavanaugh James Higher Power Has a Name Cavanaugh James on Instagram Cavanaugh James on Twitter Cavanaugh James on Facebook Gateway Church Audible Get a free 30-day trial and free audiobook Babe’s Chicken

Have you ever taken a personality test? I've taken 47 billion. I think it's because I've hated my personality for so long. I'm not kidding. I thought I was way over the top, and my laugh was obnoxious, and I was too high maintenance. I took every personality test known to man. Honestly, it didn't make me feel any better.  I was trying to figure myself out, because I disliked myself. I thought the answers in the test would tell me how to fix myself. But that's not me anymore. I don't want to change myself. I don't want to waste another second not being me. I still want to grow, mature, and refine myself, but I wanted to do it being me. Now, if I do a personality test, it's because I want to know what makes me tick. This is where the Enneagram comes in. Beth and Jeff McCord are here, and they are the founders of Your Enneagram Coach a website that not only helps people find out what their type is, but helps couples find out how to interact with each other no matter what type they are. They have even written a book to help Christian couples live their best lives using the Enneagram. Their book is called Becoming Us. We kick this show off with a kind of Enneagram crash course, and then break down how this information can be useful for individuals, couples and eventually even kids.  Show Notes: [05:50] The Enneagram is a typology system and way of knowing yourself. It's like your internal GPS. It will tell you your main type and your main destination. [06:48] The Enneagram will tell you why you veered off course and alert you before you get off course again. It can help you create a different mindset. [07:25] The Enneagram shows you why you think, feel, and behave in certain ways. It gets to the heart motivations. [07:59] It gives you hope that there is transformation ahead and a healthier path. [08:57] Beth and Jeff had trouble understanding each other about five years into their marriage. Some friends introduced them to The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective by Richard Rohr.  [09:30] Finally Beth and Jeff had clarity on why they were doing what they were doing.  [09:42] They've been doing this for over 20 years and are still learning and growing.  [10:40] Beth was Michael Hyatt's personal assistant, so she saw first hand how an amazing team works behind the scenes and develops online courses.  [10:48] Beth and Jeff started creating Enneagram courses and coaching people. It was amazing to watch people transform right before their eyes.  [11:05] They then developed the Become an Enneagram Coach course. They now have over 400 coaches in 18 countries who are transforming other people's lives.  [12:16] Because Enneagram is about why you do the things you do, you want to look at the core motivation of the nine types. [12:26] There are four core motivations. There's the core fear. There's the desire. There's the weakness. There's the core longing. [12:56] Type one is the moral perfectionist. Type two is a supportive adviser. [14:16] Type three is the successful achiever. They fear being exposed or incompetent. [15:22] Type four is the romantic individualist. They fear being cut off. They desire to be special. Their core weakness is envy. [15:55] Type five is the investigative thinkers. They fear being annihilated. They desire to be capable and competent. Their weakness is that they feel they lack too many inner resources. [16:36] Type six is the loyal guardian. They fear fear itself. They desire security. Their core weakness is anxiety. [17:20] Type seven is the entertaining optimist. They fear being deprived. They desire to be happy and content. The weakness is gluttony. [18:52] Type eight is the protective challenger. They fear being weak. They desire to protect themselves. Their weaknesses are lust or excess. [19:57] Type nine is the peaceful mediator. They fear being in conflict. They desire inner stability and peace of mind. Their weakness is sloth. [23:55] No matter what our type is we can get healthy.  [24:26] Beth takes people through a process called exploring you where they work through five guide sheets.  [25:37] We are all diverse. When we are at our healthiest, we bless everyone including ourselves. [28:41] The Enneagram is super useful for helping couples or people work together harmoniously. [29:12] We often assume people see the world the way that we do, but they don't.  [29:49] What Jeff and Beth are doing is the overflow of what has been going on in their marriage since the early 2000s. They've been able to transcend patterns of conflict and have language to describe what is happening inside of us. [33:31] Instead of fighting, try looking at things through the other person's lens.  [36:51] People parent according to their type.  [37:55] As kids get older, you start to notice patterns. There are unique ways to relate to different types.  [45:39] Jeff and Beth have created a marriage assessment and a book that will help couples understand themselves and each other.  [48:13] It takes couple six years before they actually ask for help. You can find courses that will help you in your marriage on the Your Enneagram Coach website.  [53:01] Melissa has fun asking Beth and Jeff three wrap up questions. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Your Enneagram Coach Your Enneagram Coach on Facebook Your Enneagram Coach on Twitter Your Enneagram Coach on Instagram Becoming Us: Using the Enneagram to Create a Thriving Gospel-Centered Marriage Myers & Briggs The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective Michael Hyatt Become an Enneagram Coach Course Audible Free Audio Book with a Free 30-Day Trial John Gottman John Bunyan - The Pilgrim's Progress

I often get asked why I chose Ordinary People Ordinary Things for the name of this podcast. I wanted to do a podcast, because I like to hear myself talk, and I have some pretty good things to say along with some ridiculous things to say. I'm not famous. I'm not wealthy. I'm just ordinary me, so that's how I named the show. I interview ordinary people, and chances are, you are ordinary too. Some of the best lessons I've ever learned were from ordinary people.  When we take a second look, we realize that the things we do everyday aren't ordinary at all. Maybe it takes fresh eyes to see that my role as a parent is a living breathing miracle, and I'm lucky to get to do it. There are miracles all around us in the ordinary. This is why today's guest is so important. Lisa Jo Baker is a fangirl of ordinary life, author, speaker, co-host of the Out of the Ordinary Podcast and champion of women and Netflix. Lisa-Jo lives just outside of Washington DC with her husband of over 20 years and 3 of the loudest kids you've ever heard, and I’m thrilled to talk with her today. Show Notes: [03:34] Lisa-Jo is from South Africa. She is named after her mom Jo. Her son is Jackson Jo.  [05:28] The designer for the book cover asked Lisa-Jo for a placeholder photo. This photo ended up being used on the cover. It captured Lisa-Jo as she really was while throwing a kids birthday party surrounded by friends.  [10:00] Lisa-Jo was an attorney and practiced human rights law in the Ukraine for the UN.  [10:26] She writes and speaks and is still an advocate for women. I started blogging and several books were born out of it.  [11:16] She went from advocating as an attorney to being an advocate as a writer. Her husband is a professor of political science. She also has three kids. [12:59] I share the introduction to Lisa-Jo's book The Middle Matters. [14:39] The middle is the place where our lives really live. [16:43] Most of us live very ordinary days, but our kids are interested in our stories. Lisa-Jo's book is like a snapshot of her life. Most of our lives are lived in the middle. [19:35] Lisa-Jo wants to help women embrace those middle moments. It's about seeing the day not seizing the day.  [21:21] It's a challenge to write or work and still capture those ordinary moments.  [22:18] Lisa-Jo needs to be anchored to people who see her real self.  [25:40] Lisa-Jo shares her feelings about her muffin top. She is also happy to share her age.  [30:01] Nobody is as critical of us as we are. Women should be proud of their bodies. [34:02] We shouldn't let people put labels on us as teens or college age girls.  [36:44] We don't have to live in a storybook. An ordinary love is perfect and beautiful.  [40:05] On the outside we age, but on the inside we feel kind of frozen in time. [41:02] Lisa-Jo wants to give people new glasses and a new way to see their own lives. [43:18] Lisa-Jo answers the rapid fire questions. She loves a South African restaurant called Spur and eats a mushroom burger.  [45:03] Friendship is a safe place with grace and space. [48:06] We need to say out loud that we are paying attention to what matters. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access Home Chef Use code MelissaR80 to get $20 off your first four meals INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Lisa-Jo Baker Lisa-Jo Baker on Facebook Lisa-Jo Baker on Instagram Out of the Ordinary Podcast Books by Lisa-Jo Baker The Middle Matters Spur South Africa

If you follow me on Facebook Live, you know that I have been teaching and gearing up for my course INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You. I launched this course for the first time back in May of this year. Hundreds of people took the course and loved it and benefited from it. Women, we know that when we buy something we tell the truth.  The feedback, reviews, and encouraging words that we received from INK only solidified that the course was God given and God inspired. The thing that most people want to know before they purchase anything is what will it be like. So today, we are doing something a little different and giving you a sneak peek. Each lesson in INK is in video and audio format. So, today's show is going to be the audio version of week one lesson one.  Show Notes: [07:24] I've always wanted David's name on my ring finger.  [09:48] A couple of years ago, I made this video of me alone in this room. The video was about what happened to me the year I turned 41. The video was titled Eat Cake Be Brave. My editor ended up seeing this video and that's how I got signed for the book deal.  [11:34] That night I said something that I had never heard before. I'll play this video now. [12:43] Music is the first talent that I knew I had. I can write a little bit, but music is my talent.  [13:51] My professor made glowing comments about my voice in music school. He then said I would never make it in the music business, because of the way that I look.  [15:05] He tattooed words all over me. Words that stayed on my skin deep into my flesh for years. Then I decided to audition for Diva's Live. [16:01] I got on stage, sang my song, and killed it. The producer then said, "to be on my show, you can sound like this, but if you look like this, it's not going to happen." [16:58] At this point, I had a tattooed sleeve on my arm of words like embarrassing, ashamed, glutton, fool, ridiculous, dreamer, and a waste of time.   [17:19] I'm just tired of being tattooed with words that aren't true. [17:27] Last year, I saw an interview with Shonda Rhimes. She said she was sick of living in fear and wanted to step outside of her comfort zone. I too wanted my mojo back.  [18:55] I drove to Houston and tried out for the voice. All it takes is one more try. [19:50] I decided last year on my birthday that I would live the year of yes. [20:10] I started a Facebook page and started to put up videos.  [21:11] I referenced tattoos on this video and how we allow ourselves to be marked up by things that are said to us and done to us. [23:29] Think about what may be marking you up that you may not even realize is there. [28:20] People speak things over us from the moment we are born.  [31:16] Hurt people, hurt people. If you were damaged with words, they were too.  [35:58] Did the things stick with you? Chances are it did. [37:18] How did we get here? Other people and secondly us. [37:54] Don't beat yourself up, because you didn't know any better. [40:12] You weren't prepared to replace a lie with the truth. [41:09] Don't beat yourself up. Give yourself grace. [45:45] Those words are what you did, not who you are. [49:57] Taking someone else's baggage doesn't fit. Don't cover yourself in ill fitting truths. [53:11] It's time to take the disguises off and remove what doesn't belong to you. [53:41] In this course, we are going to erase, and we are going to replace. [55:16] I'm constantly replacing old ink, and it just gets easier and easier. [56:57] We are going to go deep and clean up those old wounds. We aren't doing it alone. I'm here for you, and God is right beside you. [59:23] Each week comes with homework. There is more for you to do after the lesson. This week has four questions. It's important that we journal significant moments.  [01:01:00] The cart for INK is only open until Wednesday October 2nd, 2019. You will get five more lessons like this one in audio, video, and transcripts, along with homework, and access to the Facebook community. I'll also be doing a five weekly Facebook Lives related to the material. The course belongs to you forever. There is also a 30-day money back guarantee.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access Home Chef Use code MelissaR80 to get $20 off your first four meals INK Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person Let's All Be Brave: Living Life with Everything You Have

Lindsay Teague Moreno is an author, speaker, mom, and entrepreneur. She calls herself a momtrepreneur. She is the author of Getting Noticed and her new book Boss Up. She is also the host of the Boss Up podcast. Boss Up is all about helping women think big, dream big, and put their businesses on the map.  In this episode, Lindsay shares her story and how she felt like she wanted more after having twins and becoming a mother. She had guilt about these feelings, until she discovered that she had a whole tribe that felt the same way. She has since become a multimillion-dollar-producing business owner and wants to help other women do the same. I just love her, and you will love this episode.  Show Notes: [05:46] Lindsay loves women between the ages of 30 and 40 who have young kids and are living in the trenches and have a desire for more. [06:03] There are a lot of moms who love nothing more than being a mom. Lindsay thought that would be her when she had twins.  [06:22] She realized that she loved the babies more than anything else, but being a mother wasn't her purpose. [07:40] Living your own purpose and doing something that has meaning for you is the best example to set for your kids. [07:54] It's Lindsay's why to help live their purpose now instead of waiting until their kids go off to college.  [08:08] By putting all of your time, energy, and focus into your kids you lose who you are and then the kids leave. [11:57] Lindsay preaches authenticity and letting it all out.  [12:32] She teaches women how to stand up and be confident even when things go wrong. [13:36] Fear holds many back. People doing it and people wanting to do it are both Lindsay's tribe. She wants to help people want it at any cost. [16:16] Selling yourself is difficult. [16:30] Lindsay looks for business opportunities everywhere. She presents what she has, and people can take it or leave it. [18:48] She wanted to change the MLM game. She teaches what happens in real business. She teaches people to create businesses that are best for them.  [21:49] Lindsay decided to use social media to build her business. Spend time advertising who you are, what you do, and what you love than the product that you sell.  [23:26] Have five posts about you and one about your product. [24:36] Lindsay wants to help people create a brand that is authentic to them not authentic to her. She helps people define their story. [25:31] She has created new businesses with the income from her first business. She uses the Boss Up blueprint to create her businesses.  [26:27] Boss Up is designed to be a short cut to help women create the businesses they love.  [26:42] She has a print shop and an event planning business. Lindsay can't help herself when she sees a need.  [34:08] If you follow the books and processes in Lindsay's book, you get to decide ahead of time what you will say yes to and what you will say no to. That's called Bossing Up. [35:33] Lindsay talks about how it's important to be clear about what you want. [36:16] Sit down and think as big as you can. What do you want in all aspects of your life? Think really big. Become so connected that you think about them everyday. You can get there if you think big enough. Keep your eyes set on the end goal.  [37:44] If you set your goals at a place of high energy, you will stop at nothing to get them.  [40:03] Lindsay loves Chick-fil-A.  [41:30] Friendship is a commitment to be in someone's life no matter what.  Friendship is I like you, and you like me. [44:06] Lindsay shares who she would want to play her in a movie.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access Lindsay Teague Moreno The Boss Up Community on Facebook Lindsay Teague Moreno on Instagram Hello@Lindsaytm.com Getting Noticed: A No-Nonsense Guide to Standing Out and Selling More for Momtrepreneurs Who 'Ain't Got Time for That' Boss Up!: This Ain’t Your Mama’s Business Book Lindsay Teague Moreno on LinkedIn Boss Up Podcast Jim Rohn

Anger, rage, and screaming were some of the things I dealt with when I was neck deep in depression. I should say, these are some of the things those around me dealt with. My depression comes out in waves of anger. Today's guest is Natalie Hixon who is a certified professional life coach. I am so excited to have her on the show today, because she specializes in helping women overcome destructive anger and burnout.  The theme for season 2 was body, mind, and soul. I was upset because I didn't have a theme for season 3, but everything came together. Season 3 is really about cleaning out our hearts, homes, and souls. It's about ridding ourselves from junk and clutter that threaten our health and relationships. Burnout, self-destructive patterns, addiction, and anger will destroy who you are and what you're setting out to do. This is why I’m so honored to have Natilie on the show to share her story today. Show Notes: [03:39] Natalie lives in Montana. This is one of my bucket list states. [04:58] Natalie married Mike, her high school sweetheart. They have three daughters ages 15, 12, and 8 years old. They love living in Montana. Natalie has been there her whole life. [05:23] Natalie spends her days coaching moms who suffer with anger and burnout. [06:29] Growing up, Natalie knew she was an angry person. When she first got married, she noticed she was screaming at Mike. [07:13] She knew there was a problem when she was on the floor throwing tantrums with her two-year-old. [08:51] After a couple of years, Natalie took her daughter to a therapist and discovered she was the one who had the real anger problems. [09:39] When a child has an issue, it's often the mother who has things to work through. [12:01] Natalie would scream at her kids, throw things, slam doors, squeeze arms, and spank. She would cry that she abused her kids with destructive anger.  [14:59] Melissa doesn't struggle with this now, because her kids are older, and she has had a lot of counseling.  [17:19] Natalie is opening group coaching, because so many people feel like they are alone. There is a multitude of women who are beside themselves. [20:41] Natalie's journey started in the therapist's office.  [23:13] Communicating how you are feeling helps your kids understand their feelings.  [24:30] Anger is a natural human emotion. Destructive anger is what needs to be worked through. [25:36] Slamming doors, screaming, hitting, throwing things, or causing any type of pain is destructive anger.  [29:08] Gaining control of anger and restoring relationships in family is possible.  [30:17] When Natalie would blow up in rage, she would ask for forgiveness. This is the recovery piece.  [33:14] Open and honest communication is how we restore, heal, and grow. [34:42] When mom's get angry, they can practice what they are learning and teach their kids how to get angry. [35:58] It's not okay to deny destructive anger in your life. Reach out for help. [37:31] Recognize how you feel after exploding. Create awareness.  [40:03] Natalie loves pizza and rosé. [40:39] Friendship means love, openness, and sisterhood. [41:17] Her favorite movie is You've Got Mail.  [42:04] I love women like Natalie who take their pain to change the world. I love the kind that bravely ask for help.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK: Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You Natalie Hixson Natalie Hixson Instagram Natalie Hixson Facebook

I can't believe we are already in our third season. I started this on a whim. I can't believe we've made it this far and how well the podcast has done. A lot of money and time go into this, and we really appreciate you listening and telling your friends about the show. I'm really proud of what we are doing with the show, and I really really appreciate it when you share, review, and subscribe to the show.  I care about being real. I have real problems, because I'm in a real marriage and parent real human kids. I have real fears, anxieties, and real weight problems. On this podcast, you get real. I'm also shocked about how much I love doing this podcast. I love people and their stories. I love seeing how they relate to the rest of us. With this podcast you get real people and their stories. On this season 3, we’ll have some incredible and inspiring guests and some episodes will feature chats between me and David.  Show Notes: [03:52] In season 3, we will have inspiring guests that people can relate to no matter where they are at. [05:56] We will also have conversations between me and David that could be us fighting in the drive-through or trying to figure out some things in our marriage.  [06:06] You can trust that we will be real, vulnerable, and you will feel right at home.   [06:23] I stand on the side of keeping it real and keeping it classy, but you might hear some language on occasion. [07:25] You will also hear advertisements of products that I use and recommend.  [08:38] As we were putting this season together all the topics started lining up. [09:03] There was an overall theme about slowing down and managing things. [09:55] If depression were on a scale between 1 and 10, where would you be? [10:25] I had said I was a five, but my counselor pointed out that previously I was a three. Apparently, I'm still here in the amusement park of depression. [11:39] I can see the exit sign, and I am ready to go home. [12:07] I wanted to know what was going on, so I went to work cleaning out and inspecting all aspects of my life from my diet to my relationships.  [12:51] I began to spiral into depression, and I wanted to know why. For me, it was a lot of crying and insomnia. [15:19] When I asked the depression question on social media, I got many answers from people who were 10s on the depression scale. [16:32] Have we stopped and done the work to figure this out? [17:49] When I feel depression coming on, I invite God to assist me as I work through the process of figuring it out.  [19:35] Listen for clues. I noticed I was watching a show I hated. I was angry over our budget.  [20:35] A small positive change I made was cutting out TV and reading a good book before bed.  [23:26] When reading some particularly bitter social media comments, I realized that I don't have to live with these comments or these commentators, but I do have to live with the comments I tell myself.  [24:49] Speaking negatively about yourself undermines everything you were created to be.  [27:16] Does anyone see how the vicious cycle of depression grabs us. I hate it when we don't stop and fix what is broken.  [30:07] I know when the truth is near, and it's my hope that you come to know this too. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer Sign Up for Insider Access INK: Replacing What Stained You With What Can Change You

This show is going to be a bit different. It is my book birthday. It is launch day of my book Eat Cake. Be Brave. Imagine that you have been keeping a diary since 7th grade, and it was made public. That is kind of how I’m feeling. I’m sharing today, and all of my launch day feelings and emotions with my wonderful husband David and you my wonderful listeners. You can find Melissa here: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Show Notes [02:33] The first time Melissa and David met was on a bus in school. She'll never forget his first words, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” [03:48] What does Eat Cake. Be Brave. Actually mean? [04:11] When Melissa turned 41 she was about to blow out the candles on her birthday cake, and she wished for bravery. [06:09] She wished to be brave for 12 months. After blowing out her candles, she went back to her room and began to journal what bravery meant to her. The rest is history. [07:01] All we need is a flicker of bravery and going upstream when everyone else is going downstream. Even if it's only for a little bit. [08:02] Why Melissa is so relatable. When Melissa began discovering her voice she realized that she wrote the same way that she talked. This alone made her voice relatable. [09:04] It's easy to relate to Melissa's words because she says what we are actually thinking. [09:38] Melissa is real enough to say you hurt me, and God helped us. [10:06] Melissa is real enough to say the truth and to admit her shortcomings and failures. [10:41] The style and genre of the book. [11:08] The book is a memoir. It's about all the years in Melissa's life that led up to that one year that changed her forever. [11:32] We have had wonderful reviews. One recurring theme is that the book is an easy read. [12:03] The most surprising thing for most people is that the book is funny. It's really funny. [13:18] This book is for women who are tired of standing in the back of the stage and are ready to take center stage in their lives. [13:53] If you're not a religious person, you will still love and identify with this book. [15:23] We had an editorial review that said this woman loved the book and didn't feel preached to. We can be like Christ without preaching it. [15:45] Melissa's writing is kind of like Mindy Kaling, Amy Poehler, or Tina Fey. Those are the three that she hears. [16:32] The overarching theme that Melissa hopes to communicate with the book. [18:00] We have got to become more aware of the words that our Creator has said about us. [19:30] Once we learn the truth about what God has said about us, we can walk in the truth of bravery. [19:57] What Melissa go back and change the pain that she has experienced? [20:13] No. If it meant doing it all again, she would do it. [20:58] Melissa knows what love and healing can do. She would do everything again if it would help one woman to step out of the shadows and live the life she was meant to live. [21:58] The book is about the entire family including David, Remi, Rocco, and even Melissa's mother, her Granny, Aunt Melba, and some of her girlfriends. [22:14] When Melissa's mother is talking in the book the font actually changes. And it is written in the style that her mother speaks in. [24:52] David is curious if there's a scene in The Bodyguard that Melissa would like to act out. [26:22] If someone is unsure about buying the book, Melissa would encourage them to come see her on the book tour. [28:20] Melissa wants these people to see someone just like them who decided to fight for one year. [28:41] You can find out more about the tour here. [29:51] Follow Melissa on social media. We have a lot of exciting press coming up in the next couple of weeks. [30:22] Lightning round questions… [32:15] When the ball is in our hands, what will we do? [33:07] The book is an easy read that will make people laugh and will make people cry. There was a lot of blood, sweat and tears that went into this book. [33:22] David is so proud of Melissa. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Autographed Copy of Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Extended Book Trailer This Sucks But God Is Good (online course)

Doing these podcasts with my family is going to be the death of me. Love us or hate us we are The Radkes. This episode of The Radkes features two mile markers in our lives. Rocco has been wanting a knife for over a year, and he finally gets one. I've been wanting to sing at Minute Maid Park for over 40 years, and I finally get to.  Like most dreams, you have to work for them. Rocco had to learn proper knife instruction, and well, I had to go to the bathroom. Trust me, working for one of these dreams was harder than the other. This episode features my two favorite men on the entire Earth. The Attorney General David Radke and my tiny precious wonderman Rocco Radke.  Show Notes: [01:59] Rocks, Rock Star, and Bubba Blue are some of Melissa's favorite nicknames for Rocco.  [03:10] We kick off with the bump your cup song. We were heading to Rocco's game, and I had to ask if he was wearing his cup. Which led to this spontaneous song.  [05:01] Rocco can scream very high, for now.  [06:05] Remi is at camp this week. She created the line, "Why do you have to be so extra?" [07:08] Rocco said he wanted a knife, but it's also a tradition for young men to get a knife or something they have to handle carefully.  [08:05] David had a knife at Rocco's age. He also learned how to handle a knife before he got it.  [09:53] Rocco wants a knife to carve things, cut branches, cut rope, and go fishing.  [13:47] We had a bucket list moment, where Melissa sang at the Astro's game. She sang God Bless America during the seventh inning stretch.  [19:46] Remi always tells Melissa how proud she is of her. Rocco is proud too. Even if, he doesn't say it.  [20:47] This was the last episode of the show. We had a contract for six episodes. There may be more in the future. We don't know.  [20:52] The Radkes is a snapshot of our life during that season and I wouldn't change a thing about it. Ending the season on a high note by me hitting a high note is really the most that I could ever ask for.  [22:09] Melissa taught Rocco that cake meant booty.  [23:40] This is the last Radkes podcast and the end of this season.  [25:48] I am called to ordinary. People watch our show because they can relate. We are all so ordinary but contribute and love in extraordinary ways.  [27:02] This podcast will be back. Subscribe so you don't miss the next season. Thank you.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Eat Cake. Be Brave. Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary  The Radkes

There's something you should know about the Radkes. We don't have it all together. All of the Perfection that you see when you look at us isn't real. When you see me making a sandwich in my car that is because I really and truly made a sandwich in my car. You may be wondering why I didn't buy a Lunchable. The truth is the idea didn't dawn on me until later. You don't have to worry about hurting our feelings this is our life and what-you-see-is-what-you-get.  Sure, I want to be the kind of mother that has a perfect craft room and makes cupcakes with perfect fondant frosting. Sure, I want to be the person who shows up early in case you need help setting up for the party. Sure, I want to be all of these things, but I'm not. Who better to tell you that than the Core Four of me, David, Remi, and Rocco. We are discussing all of the things that happen on your worst first day of school. Show Notes: [05:02] Melissa doesn't understand David's fascination with fantasy football. [05:59] David has created a spreadsheet for every player.  [06:48] School supply shopping was horrible, and they filmed a terrible day for us. [08:16] None of us wanted to go school shopping. The kids didn't want to go, and we didn't want to take them. [09:01] We also waited till the last minute, so there wasn't much of a selection. [10:57] The big deal about backpacks is everyone sees them because you walk around with them on your back. [12:15] Melissa knows that they aren't really using all of those school supplies. [13:07] Remi is in middle school and her supplies are carried around in her backpack. They don't have lockers anymore.  [19:02] I don't know from one year to the next what they want to do when it becomes time to eat. I had everything ready to go, but I just forgot it. I pulled into a deli and got everything for the sandwiches and made them in the car. [22:29] When kids go to junior high, the lunch line is like a food court.  [25:08] Melissa made a choice to not let the kids be late, and she had to "park" close at the school.  [27:27] The episode was a perfect episode to describe our lives, and how we act on a daily basis.  [27:54] David was romantic at the end of the show.  [31:46] I quit worrying about stuff, and I'm okay doing the best that I can do.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Eat Cake. Be Brave. Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary  The Radkes

We are talking about everything that happened in episode 4 of this week's episode titled Tell It To The Judge. This episode centered around my ability to judge hush puppies. Don't be jealous, because this is a God-given gift. It's also about mine and David's inability to have a regular date night. We've tried, but it can't be done. It's only possible to have a regular date night if you don't have kids, pets, or bills. I don't know how people make a regular Tuesday night date night work. We're going to be talking about this and also how to keep that dating spark alive when you've run out of everything to do in your town. Show Notes [02:19] Today's guest is David Radke. [03:20] Melissa loves this episode. It made Lufkin look really good. [04:00] There are a lot of people who don't enjoy living in Lufkin, Dallas, or anywhere else for that matter. [05:30] There are a lot of things to do in Lufkin. There are a lot of organizations to be a part of. For the size of our town, the amount we give to charity is really outstanding. [07:04] Melissa talks about how you can drive through Lufkin and you know everybody. Plus, they're memories everywhere. [09:44] Lufkin can raise your kids, treat you well, and give back to the community. [10:08] We have the Forest Festival at the Expo Center. Every year they have the hush puppy competition. [11:45] Melissa wrote a Facebook Manifesto 3 or 4 years ago about how no one would choose her to be a hush puppy festival judge.  [12:02] She was finally asked while they were filming the show.  [12:58] Hush puppies are tied to fried things. David heard that when people were frying things, they would throw a little batter into the oil and then give it to the dog or use it to hush the puppy.  [14:15] Hush puppies are made with cornmeal and other fancy ingredients for the contest.  [16:35] There was also some bribery on the show. [17:41] I ate so many different has puppies that the recipes all kind of run together, but I'm going to find the winning recipe and publish it here. [18:21] Aunt Melba's hush puppy recipe may be the original colonial recipe.  [22:10] Date nights. Do we still need them?  [23:01] A classic Annette was that she didn't see the text asking here to sit with the kids. [23:44] David shared a date that Melissa wasn't on. [26:19] A date is an evening. It's an event. David took Melissa to the airport and flew her to Washington for an Amy Grant concert. They had backstage passes. It was a night she will never forget.  [28:41] It's really nice when your spouse or partner makes an effort and tries to create an evening that is different.  [28:55] Melissa and Sinbad had a conversation when they went to see him.  [30:20] For David, it's just spending time together and finding a mutual love of each other's interests. [31:08] Don't live in a comparison trap for your dating life.  [31:39] 2 a.m. patty melts at the Waffle House have been some of David and Melissa's best states. [32:01]  Some of Melissa's favorite dates have been driving in the truck and going to Sonic and just looking at land that they might want to buy some day. [32:39] You need to make a commitment to have one-on-one time. Family dates are good too. The biggest thing is the time you spend together. [34:27] One of the reasons I think our show is taking off is because it's relatable. We live and work in a small town and drive a car that desperately needs to be updated. [35:07] Our show tells the story of life really well. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Eat Cake. Be Brave. Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary  The Radkes Texas State Forest Festival

This week's episode of the Radke's entitled Driving Me Crazy is simply about the things we hide. I really did let my license expire, and I hid it from David Radke for over a year. Why? Because I knew he would do what he did and get all Law and Order on me. So, I had to put it off as long as I did. Sometimes, I may also hide beauty products from David Radke. We are getting older, but men don't get it. David and I talk about my beauty product purchases, and it’s all in good fun. You’ll have to listen to the end to see if any compromises were made. My good friend Jen who was driving the McLaren last night, stops by and we talk about cars, friendship, our text group, the show, how much fun we had at the grocery store, and our mutual love of Lufkin, Texas. Show Notes: [02:04] David got the mail on the day the notice about my license showed up. [03:20] David would prefer that Melissa had a valid license and drove well. [04:16] In high school, Melissa was voted worst driver two years in a row. [05:12] Some of the things that Melissa has hit include a horse, a dog, a TV, two mailboxes, a stop sign, and a truckload of migrant workers. [06:48] The episode was also about Melissa buying beauty products. [07:26] The root issue is David keeping Melissa on a budget. [09:17] David is aging gracefully. He gets better with age. [11:33] Melissa wants to age gracefully. David likes the finished product. He just wants her to tone down the products. [13:54] Melissa's friend Jennifer who was on last nights show is here. [14:52] Jen has a lot of money, but she doesn't like to show it off, so she drives a McLaren. [15:33] Jen's husband doesn't let Melissa park Big Darla in their parking area on the stone pavers, because she leaks. [16:43] Melissa and Jen met when their daughters were in preschool. Jen admired Melissa's parking skills. [17:54] Jen moved Melissa's car when she left it running with the keys in it. [18:39] That was how they became friends, but Melissa may have been mad for a couple of days. [20:33] Jen's husband is mature. They have zero problem with it. [21:52] People who watch Bravo and E have been seeing episodes of The Radkes. [24:17] The day at the grocery store is what we truly due. [26:09] Getting cash back on the register is a great tip. [27:12] Jen's background is different than her real life, but she is the every ordinary girl. [28:21] Too dumb for New York too ugly for LA. Killing it in Lufkin everyday. [29:14] Jen loves the small town feel of Lufkin. If you break down, you will get help. When we were at the store, we saw friends all over. [30:43] Jen tells a story where she accidentally referred to Aunt Melba as Grandma. [31:50] Jen is an everygirl who can afford to pay the check. [32:24] We have a group text called Botox, Weaves, and Silicone. [33:59] Because I want to stay married, I have promised too cut down a bit on my purchases. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Eat Cake. Be Brave. Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary The Radkes The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Welcome to After the Show of The Radkes. If you are looking for an explanation for episode 2 Mommy Issues, you have probably guessed by now that there is no explanation. Just like there isn't an explanation for anything else we do on the show. It's really just our lives, our family, and the lovely town of Lufkin, TX. This week we faced a problem that is rampant among families everywhere, and that is mothers. Either you are one or you got one. That's the thing about mothers. You get messed up by one, then you turn around and mess somebody else up. It's really just a vicious cycle. No one parents with perfection. This episode brought out some emotion in me. Talk about my daughter and I cry. Talk about my mother and I cry. Hopefully, you will be entertained by the family dynamic of three generations and feel the love that we share for each other. Show Notes: [03:21] Melissa, David, Remi, and Melissa's Mother Annette are here to talk about the show. [04:15] Melissa is always wanting Remi to be more girly. [05:08] Growing up, Melissa was over the top girly according to Annette. [08:31] Remi asked Melissa to be her soccer goalie, and she did better than Remi thought she would. [09:53] Melissa played softball and basketball growing up. Sports weren't really her thing, but she was always up for a good costume and a photo. [13:08] This episode encapsulated Melissa and Annette's relationship perfectly. They are the yin and Yang or the Dorothy and the Sofia of the Golden Girls. [13:19] We forgive each other quite often and love each other a lot. [14:24] We ended up singing together in the show, but Melissa's beef was that Annette didn't ask her before signing her up. [17:28] The Dixie Chunks. Annette, Melissa, Aunt Melba, and Meredith were singing and wanted to come up with a name. Melissa's Dad suggested the Dixie Chunks, and they fell over laughing, but the name stuck. [23:39] This was a cute real to life episode balancing the way Melissa s' mother raised her and how Melissa is raising Remi. [25:09] Melissa had a pony that would roll over when Melissa got on him. [26:21] David and Melissa are Mitch and Cam from Modern Family, and Melissa looked like Cam with a helmet. [28:54] Annette, Melissa, and Remi love and adore each other, no matter what. Share this episode with your mother. [30:15] Be sure to watch the show and subscribe and listen to us talk about After the Show. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Eat Cake. Be Brave. Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary The Radkes After the Show: Melissa Explains it All

Our new show The Radkes is now airing on the USA Network. This is an unscripted show about our family. Real people experiencing real everyday life. The show, is just like the podcast, which is just like our real lives. For the next few episodes while our show is airing, we’ll be doing a series of podcasts about the previous night’s show. Episode 1 is called Melissa Explains It All, and it’s all about me trying to have “the talk” about sex with my daughter Remy. I did what I could and then deferred to my Aunt Melba who has become a social media and Radkes star in her own right. On this podcast, I have the Attorney General David Radke, and two special guests. My daughter Remy Hope Radke and my Aunt Melba. If you haven’t seen the first Network Episode of The Radkes, it might be fun to watch it before listening to this podcast. If you listen to the podcast first, don’t worry, the show isn’t as embarrassing as it sounds. It’s really just ordinary people living their lives and doing what other ordinary people do. We hope we make you laugh, smile, and find something to relate to. Show Notes [04:32] In this episode, Melba is so free with her language on all things sex. [05:07] Aunt Melba isn't married. She was married happily for many many years to her high school sweetheart. [05:45] She still wears her wedding ring, so men won't ask her out. [07:03] Aunt Melba loved her husband, and she loves sex, and she thinks it's from God [08:03] Remy's status is single and looking to mingle. She's not ready for relationships, but she's ready to know about relationships. [09:53] The episode is really just about what's going on in our lives at the time. [10:01] It begins with David sending me explicit text messages with eggplants and question marks. [11:31] We never know what's going to come out of Remy's mouth. The show isn't scripted. [15:14] Melba had an emoji run in on her cell phone. People kept sending her

Recently, my family of four went on the biggest adventure that we have ever been on. We filmed a television show. I know other families have done this. They've done it longer than us, and they've done it better than us. For us, this was a pretty big deal. From the moment the first crew member showed up at our home, we felt like we were embarking on a journey. I couldn't imagine three other people who I'd rather be on this journey with than David, Remy, and Rocco. On day four, I heard them refer to us as the Core Four. It felt like the four of us were embarking on an adventure that very few people would ever go on. I don’t think I’ve ever felt closer to my Core Four than I did during that time. Today’s episode is all about the Core Four and our adventure. Show Notes: [05:10] Melissa starting doing videos about three or four years ago. We've had a ton of content. It's funny, relatable, and real. Then Melissa's book came out. A production company reached out to us about three years ago. [06:35] They pitched to networks and USA was interested. This show came about because of all of the other stuff that Melissa was doing. We prayed about it and this was a door that stayed open. [07:35] The producers loved Melissa's POV or point of view. It's one that people can identify with. We seemed relatable, because we are. [10:11] David encouraged Melissa to do the videos and to reply to the emails from the production company. [10:34] We said yes to the show, because they liked our point of view and then didn't want us to be any different than we are. [11:13] The mantra for our family is to just go ahead and be courageous. [12:03] We had a real positive feeling about opening things up for other people who feel the same way that we do. Plus, we have a great core four and extended family and friends. [12:47] The Radkes premieres on June 4th on the USA Network on Tuesday nights 9:30 Central. The first three episodes will also be on Hulu, YouTube, and watchback. You'll also be able to find it on other streaming platforms that carry the USA Network. [15:27] The first episode will be released commercial free tonight on Facebook, Instagram or IGTV, and YouTube. [20:58] It's hard to launch a show even if you do have name recognition. The network is trying to get the word out, so please share and enjoy our show. If you want good family-friendly entertainment it's being provided for you. [23:55] Our show is an unscripted family sitcom. There are real life family situations, but they are edited to be pretty fast-paced. [25:28] Remy and Rocco share their opinion on what they think the rest of the family feels about the show. [25:50] We also discuss the impact of the show on Lufkin. It looks great in the videos. [30:08] Remy and Rocco share who their core four friends are, and they can't wait for the show to come out. [31:25] Every Wednesday for the next six weeks we are going to release an after the show podcast. [32:34] Record episodes or season pass and watch it live or the recording in the first three days to help with the ratings. [33:14] For us, this isn't just about getting our name out there, we really want to provide some family entertainment where people can sit down and escape and just laugh. [34:01] Melissa sometimes loses herself watching TV. She hopes people identify with this show and the core four, so that they feel less alone. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Eat Cake. Be Brave. Sign Up for Insider Access Red Ribbon Week WatchBack Hulu Don’t Be Tardy Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary Bolster Sleep For 10% Off Use the Code: Ordinary

Every scar you have tells a story. Sometimes being vulnerable and telling your story is what you and those around you need. When people are vulnerable with us, we are reminded that we are not alone. The reason I'm talking about this is because my friend Kayla Stoecklein is here to share a story that isn't easy to share. She shares her story in an effort to help others who may be going through painful situations. She is the perfect example of first the pain, then the rising. Kayla is a recently widowed mom of three busy boys (ages 2, 4, and 6). Prior to the loss of her husband, she was a pastor's wife and stay at home mom. She is now in the process of reinventing her life, figuring out who she is, and what she is passionate about, and what she is gifted at. She is passionate about people, addicted to life change, and defiantly choosing joy everyday as she chases after what she calls "a happy beautiful life" after loss. Her life mantra is "God's Got This." Show Notes [03:33] Melissa met Kayla at the Dream Big Intensive. The property was beautiful. [06:35] A year-and-a-half ago Kayla's husband began having panic attacks. He was the lead pastor of a large church, and he was under a lot of pressure. [07:20] They were visiting doctors trying to find out what was happening with him. [08:00] His panic attacks became more severe, and he ended up in the hospital, and they still couldn't figure out the root of his mystery illness. [08:18] A psychiatrist diagnosed him with depression. [09:42] He took a sabbatical and was feeling a little bit better. Then he went back to work. [10:03] He was preparing to talk about mental illness. A lot of people were struggling with this, and they were grateful that he was talking about something that they could relate to. [11:17] His mental illness took a turn for the worst and he attempted suicide. He ended up in the hospital, but passed away shortly after that. [11:47] It was shocking for everyone to see a young healthy guy with a young family, who is talking about mental illness, commit suicide. [12:27] Kayla was a stay-at-home mom, and her whole life revolved around her husband and the church. [13:07] Kayla was only 29 and was wondering what she was going to do with the rest of her life. She was also very sad, because her and her husband had an incredible relationship. [14:36] Kayla isn't mad at Andrew, but she is so angry about what happened. [18:05] It's very difficult walking alongside someone with mental illness, because it's almost like they are two different people. [18:44] Being able to know and identify triggers is so helpful. [22:48] Kayla takes things a day at a time. She doesn't have a plan, she just sits with her grief and lets herself feel it. [25:07] Kayla has been taking time for self-care and doing what she needs to do to enable herself to grieve and get through this season. [25:55] She is so grateful that she has the luxury of time to grieve in a way that fits her. [28:40] Kayla has a blog called God's Got This. [29:42] Her social media blew up and people message her constantly. A majority of the people are walking beside someone with mental illness, and they are just very grateful that someone is talking about it. [30:40] Walking alongside someone with depression gives you a little taste of depression. [31:32] If someone mentions suicide, take it seriously. [32:18] Kayla has also received messages from people who were considering suicide and changed their mind. [32:40] The stories don't take away Kayla's pain, but they give her purpose with it. God uses us for good. Lives have been saved through the sharing of this story. [34:19] One of the best things that Kayla's friends have done is send her late night texts just to check on her and just listening to her. [35:26] The worst thing someone can do for someone who is grieving is to tell them that they know exactly how they feel. [38:23] God sends us people to light our way to places that are foreign to us. Kayla is the one holding the lantern. [40:28] Kayla answers the three questions… [45:09] To love is to be vulnerable. This perfectly describes today's podcast. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Eat Cake. Be Brave. Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary Bolster Sleep For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary God’s Got This Kayla Stoecklein on Instagram Brene Brown Lysa TerKeurst Glennon Doyle Dream Big Intensive Bob Goff Streams in the Desert Minding the Pain With Stefanie Boyce Uncharted Territory National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Are you trying to juggle work, family, home and all of your obligations? Too often we try to do everything and please everyone and end up feeling guilt or shame for not being able to do it all. My guest today has practical tips and advice for any of us who feel like we are stretched too thin. It’s such a pleasure to have Jessica Turner on the show today. Jessica is a wife, mom, sister, friend, marketing professional, blogger and best-selling author of the books The Fringe Hours and Stretched Too Thin. In this episode, we talk about her new book. We also talk about why some moms who work-at-home don’t really consider themselves working moms. We talk about automating, prioritizing, getting help, and giving yourself permission to say no. We talk about those important things that we all need to do to help keep ourselves sane and at our best. Show Notes: [05:25] It's still a tug-of-war with working moms and stay-at-home moms. Working is bringing in an income. [06:11] Women who work at home don't see themselves as working moms. [07:03] Women who work from home often don't want to call themselves working moms. Maybe it's because of some type of social stigma. [09:00] A lot of stay-at-home working moms think that if they don't technically get in their car and go somewhere that they aren't a working mom. [09:30] Jessica went to Melissa's book signing in Nashville. [10:00] Melissa thinks Jessica's book is for busy moms not just "working" moms. [10:16] Jessica surveyed 2000 women who work or bring in some type of income. Stay-at-home moms who feel stretched too thin will get a lot of value out of the book. [12:45] Jessica writes about boundaries with work, practicing meaningful relationships, self-care, managing the home, and more. [13:03] Her research shows that the greatest struggle for working moms is either self-care or managing the home. [13:26] Self-care is probably a little bit more of a struggle and that's what Jessica's first book was about. [13:43] Women are great at taking care of everyone else. [14:17] Self-care is necessary and important and it shows our kids that they need to take care of themselves too. [14:55] Self-care includes investing in your passion, investing in your body, and spiritually and emotionally. [15:16] Try time tracking and see where your time is going. [16:40] Track everything you do for a week and how much time you spend on it. [17:10] See where you spent your time and where you can spend your time better. Also notice if you said yes to too many things. [18:37] Jessica tries to live by the "if it isn't a heck yes then it's a no." [19:32] Sometimes even having to pause is a sign that it's not the right time for you. [19:50] It's easier to say no from the beginning then you say yes to something and have to backtrack. [21:23] Just because something's a great thing, it's not a great thing for you right now. [22:58] Working moms often get left out. It can be hurtful to not be invited. Sometimes working moms want to be included. Let your friends know you still want to be included. [27:57] Subscription services. Automating our lives is an easy way to streamline. This can free up your mind and lesson the mental load. [30:22] House cleaners and services like Grove Collaborative can be helpful. It's life giving and helps other businesses. [32:40] The world will fight for your time, and you have to fight back. [33:32] Mother's can have friends. It's important to model relationships for our kids. It's a life giving shift. [34:30] Glass balls vs rubber balls. Glass balls will shatter if dropped. Treat yourself like a glass ball not a rubber ball. Spend time where it is important. Relationships and self-care are glass balls. [37:29] Think about how you are feeling and use it as motivation to make changes in your life. [38:04] Often, we push our feelings aside instead of using them for change. [40:44] Jessica answers the three questions... [45:03] Women need to be empowered to not feel guilt and shame and take time for self-care.   Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Eat Cake. Be Brave. Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary Bolster Sleep For 10% Off Use the Code: Ordinary Stretched Too Thin The Mom Creative @JessicaNTurner on Twitter The Mom Creative Facebook Page Jessica Turner on Instagram Jessica Turner BookSnobbery on Instagram The Fringe Hours: Making Time for You Grove Collaborative When I Pray for You

Making friends isn’t always that easy. Especially, adult friendships. When you meet someone you click with, hang on to them. When I was on my book tour in Nashville, I met today’s guest. Annie F. Downs is a best-selling author, nationally known speaker, and podcast host based in Nashville. She is the host of the That Sounds Fun podcast and I was a guest on that show. Our conversation was like two girlfriends having a chat. Today, we want you to be part of our conversation. We have fun as we catch up on our latest pop culture interests. We talk about how it’s good to open yourself up to people who have different opinions and not to be closed off about your beliefs. We talk about faith and communicating with God and understanding how to recognize those nudges. We mostly talk about life and friendship and invite you to go on the journey with us. I also send out an invitation to take the time to meet someone new or connect with an old friend. Show Notes [04:29] Annie goes by Annie F. Downs, because there's a famous Australian quilter named Annie Downs. She does have an interest in finding all of the other Annie Downs and maybe create a club or something. [15:04] Annie and Melissa loves the same type of pop culture shows and have a great time talking about their favorite people to follow. [15:13] Annie is following Chris Pratt. He is open about his beliefs. She's also following Dax Shepard and Debra Messing. [19:35] Melissa knows a lot of the same people. She is hungry to expand her friendships and relationships. [20:39] You get an upfront view of God pursuing people who aren't Christians. [21:21] in your leisure time is great. Crocheting classes are a great place to meet people. [22:08] Annie hopes she's not creating more Christian culture. She hopes she's helping people find a way to live where they know God and enjoy life. [22:46] Melissa wanted to take people to Jesus not take them to church. [23:02] There's a difference between loving the church and investing in the church and loving Christian culture. [24:31] Annie wrestles with living within the church and yet not creating something that's unattractive to the non faithful. [27:09] Annie loves faith. [28:33] Annie hears way more people say that they are disappointed in God than people who are hurt by people in the church. [28:46] This is where Annie's book Remember God comes from. We need to teach people to look for God in the midst of not having what they want. [30:38] Let's All Be Brave stirred up a lot of emotions and pain in Annie. For her, the writing wasn't the hardest, it was the aftermath of the writing. [32:25] Annie didn't give the readers a bow at the end. The whole theme of the book was God's kindness. [35:34] If we had everything we wanted, we would still not be satisfied [36:05] There's a difference between contentment and satisfaction. [40:11] We need to be able to tell God the truth, even when we are angry. [40:55] The more we wrestle with Him, he won't let go. [42:04] Annie shares how she feels about God. [43:31] How God shows up when Annie has her dark moments. Sometimes it's like a self-correction idea that comes to her. [44:38] God in generous about making his presence known. [45:34] Live by the nudge, and you feel it more and more. [48:42] Melissa shares a story where she was nudged to give a watch to someone who liked it. God didn't want time to be an issue for her. [50:37] Melissa believes that we do hear God, we don't always act on it, and we don't always believe it but we do hear it. [51:21] Just two friends having an honest conversation. [52:15] The three quick questions... [58:04] Adult friendships are hard, if you've been thinking about calling someone and making a lunch date just do it. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Eat Cake. Be Brave. Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary Bolster Sleep For 10% Off Use the Code: Ordinary Annie F. Downs Website That Sounds Fun with Annie F. Downs Podcast Annie F. Downs on Facebook Annie F. Downs on Twitter Remember God and Other Books by Annie F. Downs Scott Harrison Charity: Water Armchair Expert Podcast Don’t Be Tardy Andy Cohen Instagram Chris Pratt Jason Kennedy Lauren DAigle I Kissed Dating Goodbye Bob Goff That Sounds Fun Episode 96: Melissa Radke

I am Southern, and there are benefits and drawbacks to that, but the food is a benefit. Today’s guest is like a kindred spirit. A sister I didn’t know I had. I had been following Amy Hannon on social media, but I was still surprised and delighted when out of the blue, she sent me a copy of her new book. Amy’s book is a cookbook called Love Welcome Serve: Recipes that Gather and Give. The recipes are amazing, but her message of intentional kitchening is even better. Amy Hannon is a business owner, entrepreneur, author, and a genuinely gracious and caring soul. She is the owner of Euna Mae’s a kitchen boutique named after her grandmother. She hosted a cooking show on a Northwest Arkansas NBC affiliate producing over 160 episodes. She is the author of Love Welcome Serve a comfort food cookbook that is all about sharing, gathering, and family. Today, we talk about recipes, what it means to serve, and we get to the heart of intentional kitchening. Show Notes [05:11] Amy feels like she knows Melissa. Melissa wanted to meet Amy, she has been following her story. [06:23] Amy often gets asked if she knows Melissa. [08:28] Social media helps you find your kindred. It's a weird and fun way to find your people. [09:30] People send Melissa books, but it usually comes with an ask. Amy's book didn't come with an ask. It just came in the mail and touched Melissa's heart. It reminded her of cooking with her mama in the kitchen. [11:45] Amy wanted to help people use food and time in the kitchen to taste life and love. [13:06] Amy makes the pies in her book for her dad every Christmas. The food helps him remember and love. It brings back memories. [15:12] Amy puts brown sugar and a packet of Hidden Valley Ranch in her chili. It was amazingly good. [15:53] Amy started playing with recipes and just putting stuff in. [17:34] Melissa and Amy are going to have a sausage ball trying Hidden Valley Ranch and Red Lobster Cornbread Mix. Brown sugar will make it a little sweeter. [19:21] The cream cheese chicken enchiladas have two cups of heavy cream poured over the entire pan. The tortillas simmer in the cream. [20:18] Brown sugar chili over cheese grits is really good. [20:35] Amy married a pastor and had to learn how to cook quick. Everything in her cookbook is super easy. She doesn't have time or energy to spend. [21:45] She cooks real food, but tries to use reasonable shortcuts. [22:37] One of Amy's favorite things to do on vacation is shop local grocery stores. [23:39] Amy answers some questions from Melissa's friends. [24:50] Her and her family ate at the Boathouse in Central Park in New York. She's convinced that food tastes better if the situation and the people are right. [26:24] Amy loves using a dutch oven. [28:16] Amy always has butter, pasta, potatoes, onions, heavy cream, and frozen shrimp on hand. [29:21] She leaves the butter out and eats raw cookie dough. [29:58] Amy makes more than she needs and gives out take-out containers to guests. [31:19] Her love languages are verbal affirmations and gifts. People bring her treats and things made in her city. She always keeps sauces, salts, and red pepper jelly with little serving spoons. [34:55] Always have a little something on hand for a hostess gift. [37:17] David makes the Aaron Franklin smoker recipe. [38:42] Amy felt like God told her she had something to say. Women are busy, compare themselves, and have lost what a privilege it is to be in the kitchen cooking. If we remember that we have a purpose to live with intention and change the lives of people. [39:51] Remember that we have a wonderful purpose to be intentional in our kitchen's for God's glory. People love to gather and eat. Food breaks down walls and creates connections and unity. [41:48] Double your recipe, if you have soup to give the person who needs food will come. Live in a spirit of generosity. [43:04] Love Welcome Serve is an awareness for Amy. [46:56] I'm bringing you dinner. What's the best night? Don't ask, just tell. [47:09] Everybody at home can just breathe and relax. It represents a slower sweeter time. [49:00] Teenagers want adults around who love them for who they are. [51:04] Amy and her husband Sam are in a new season in their lives. Raising teenagers and their friends were a delight in their home. [53:49] Things look different in every season, open your eyes to find relationships to love and nurture. [55:13] People who are cooked for feel cared for. [56:37] Amy answers the lightning round... Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Eat Cake. Be Brave. Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary Bolster Sleep For 10% Off Use the Code: Ordinary Love Welcome Serve: Recipes that Gather and Give Bob Goff Le Creuset Dutch Oven Franklin Barbecue Amy Hannon Euna Mae’s Euna Mae’s on Instragram Euna Mae’s on Facebook

Erin Arruda is here today. We met during a conference, and we both liked each other instantly. One of the chapters in my book, that has gotten a lot of feedback from both women and men is the chapter titled Lovers and Leavers. Erin’s story goes well with that chapter. Erin found redemption and happiness, but it wasn’t an easy journey, and it certainly wasn’t easy to talk about. Erin openly shares her story of life, love, guilt, shame, and redemption on today’s show. She also talks about her book Unadulterated: His Scandalous Grace—Your New Identity and how she found her way back to the lord and happiness. Erin is now happily married with three beautiful daughters. She loves her friends, and holds them close in her heart and home. I hope you enjoy this inspirational conversation with Erin. Show Notes [04:26] Melissa and Erin instantly bonded over books and the desire to tell their stories. [05:55] Erin was raised in church with two sisters and a brother. Somehow along the path she started associating church with perfectionism. [07:21] She tried to check all the boxes and do everything she was supposed to do. [07:41] She got married after college but became an isolated and depressed person. [08:28] She fell into every temptation and began to have an affair. She was still engaged with church and her family, but she was hiding another life. [09:29] After the affair ended, she just kept going with her life. [09:46] Isolation and hiding keeps us from being vulnerable. [10:20] She got a new job and worked long hours. She also fell in love with a guy from work. [10:53] She felt her marriage was a prison and left her husband and moved in with her sister. [12:46] Then she discovered that she was pregnant. [15:07] She was in a desperate place. She even considered getting an abortion. [16:30] She just got divorced and now she was going to get married again and have a baby. [17:05] Mickey asked her parents for their blessing. [18:04] Her father welcomed Mickey, and she realized if he could love her that much than how much more could her God in heaven love her. [18:17] In that moment everything changed. [21:33] She started planning the wedding. Three days later she miscarried. Her entire family showed up to grieve. [22:44] They still got married, and that was almost 12 years ago. [24:21] It is better in the light. [29:07] After you realize you are forgiven, there is another part. It's that our identity really is in the resurrection. The connection of that is what helped Erin to get past the shame she felt after she was forgiven. [30:16] Because of Jesus, our sin no longer has power. [31:23] Erin's parents didn't know that Erin had another affair or that it had been going on with Mickey for so long. [32:02] Erin and MIckey submitted their questions to the lord. They let the word restore them out of brokenness. [33:15] There are churches that are okay with imperfection. [34:16] Erin and Mickey have three beautiful girls, and they both serve in the church. [37:10] Erin gets strength about telling her story when people thank her because she has helped them. [40:41] If you knew how much Jesus loved you, you wouldn't feel shame and guilt. Jesus calls you by your name not by what you have done. [43:17] Erin does the lightning round... Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Eat Cake. Be Brave. Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary Bolster Sleep For 10% Off Use the Code: Ordinary Erin Arruda Website Erin Arruda on Instagram Unadulterated: His Scandalous Grace—Your New Identity Erin Arruda on Facebook erinarruda@gmail.com Chris Tomlin

This week you'll have the opportunity to go see Breakthrough. It's the real life story of John Smith who fell into a frozen lake and was submerged for 15 minutes. After countless tries to start his heart, John died on the operating table, but everything changed when his mom walked in the room. Breakthrough is the true story of a modern day miracle. I am so excited to talk with Devon Franklin who produced the movie. Devon is a film & TV producer, best-selling author, preacher, and spiritual success coach. You may have seen some of his other movies like Miracles from Heaven or Heaven Is for Real. Jason Noble is the real life Pastor of John Smith and is played by Topher Grace in the movie. Jason shares his first hand account of the miracle he witnessed and was a part of. We also talk about the movie, miracles, God, faith, and trials of being a pastor. I also get to ask a few questions about what went on behind the scenes. Show Notes [03:37] Melissa got to see a preview of breakthrough, and it was so beautiful and powerful, and it was such a relief that she didn't have to ask her kids to leave the room. [05:57] One of the things that Devon is curious about is how Breakthrough full affect youth since the main character John Smith is a teenager. [06:38] If we stop and look around, we will see breakthroughs happening in our lives right now. [07:30] A breakthrough is the moving of an obstacle to let progress can resume. [08:27] Devon also made Miracles from Heaven and Heaven Is for Real. These movies find him. [09:44] Making the films is easy, it's the marketing and promotion that is hard. [11:44] Breakthrough is a true story with a message within the story. [13:44] Devon answers the three questions… [18:41] Jason loves Topher Grace although he always though he would be played by Matt Damon in a movie. [20:51] Joyce Smith and Jason never had any problems in real life. [22:37] A sub part of the story is really a love letter to Pastors. [23:13] Jason knew John would come out of the coma and heal. God was calling him to stay with him. [25:09] Jason saw angels in the room, and he knew that John would walk out of there. [28:27] Part of positioning yourself for a miracle is not giving up. [29:15] When God takes a loved one home, we have to trust him with that and be okay with it. [29:51] We have to pray believing that God is going to show up and be okay with the outcome. [32:00] Jason and the Smiths are family now, they will be close for the rest of their lives. God has put them together for a lifetime. [32:58] Take a friend or someone to the movie with you! [33:35] Jason answers the three questions... Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary Bolster Sleep Tell them Melissa sent you! Devon Franklin Devon Franklin on Instagram @DeVonFranklin on Twitter The Truth About Men Breakthrough Movie Breakthrough to Your Miracle

It’s time for the third part to the body, mind, and soul series. I kicked off this season working on my body. I’ve even lost 25 pounds. It’s not a fast pace, but I’m keeping at it. In the second section of the podcast it was all about the MIND. This was received really well. I wage a war with my mind every single day of my life. I've done a lot of prayer, listening, and counseling, so that I run my MIND now. Sometimes people don’t like to talk about the soul, but the mind, body, and soul are all interconnected. We can’t improve one without improving the other. God made us with this body, soul, mind combination. To have one is to have them all. Maybe people shy away from talking about the soul, because they don’t want to talk about God. Maybe spirituality is too controversial. On this episode, I share some of the investigative work that I have put into the soul as we kick off this new part of the series. Show Notes [05:43] Some people believe in a trichotomous view. Which means we are made up of three parts body, mind, and soul. Others have a dichotomous view with only two parts meaning the inward and outward. [06:50] Our soul is the spiritual part of our being. Inside of us there is Zoe. This is referring with the union we have with God. [08:11] Our souls come from God. Maybe the issue no one wants to talk about is God. [09:49] It doesn't make sense to not spend time on the thing that spiritually means life or death. [10:00] Today, I'm going to share some investigative work I've been doing on the soul. [10:27] You plus your money plus your job plus your status plus your friends plus the car you drive plus the private school your kids attend equal nothing. [11:00] Y O U you equal everything. [11:12] You are your soul, and your soul is you. The soul is about the slow unglamorous building of character. [13:29] We are in a barren land when it comes to matters of the soul. [14:29] Determine which of the three types of souls that you are. [14:39] The hardened soul. Holding unforgiveness. [15:08] The shallow soul. The time is about me. [15:45] The cluttered soul. Too busy. [16:18] Whatever you do is going to be out of your soul. [16:59] Every good thing that flows into our life and every good thing that flows out of our life is directly related to our soul. [17:34] Sin can wear the soul down and break it apart. It destroys every good thing about us. [18:04] If you feel broken or lost, look at how you are living. [18:36] We all long to have wounds healed. [18:56] Spend the time and do the work to fix it. No matter how you have to, fix it. [19:53] I want God's will to be fulfilled through my lifetime no matter how that may look. [21:49] Our soul resides in each of us and determines our lives and our future. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary Bolster Sleep For 10% Off Use the Code: Ordinary A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever To MIND Own Self Be True Don’t MIND Me, It’s Just the Season 2 Premiere Soul Keeping: Caring For the Most Important Part of You

One of the things I've heard a lot about last season was that you guys loved it when the Attorney General was on the show. This is an episode featuring David Radke during our MIND series. So of course, this show is titled LandMINDS In Marriage.  This is an appropriate topic because we get a lot of questions about our marriage. We have both been very open and vulnerable about our relationship. Today, we are going to talk about some of the landmines in our own marriage. We are going to share five things that are sore topics or maybe things that we have learned in our marriage. It’s funny, because some of the conventional wisdom and advice doesn’t always apply. We have found five things that enable us to avoid a fight, diffuse a situation, or eventually get past whatever the problem was. We hope you enjoy this little glimpse into our marriage and our lives. Show Notes [02:13] The other night we were racing home to get our kids. We passed Kingwood, and David wanted to go to Culver's and I didn't. I suggested we go to two places. David won't do that. He thinks it's a waste of time. [04:08] David is a man of purpose, that is why we call him the attorney general. [06:27] 1. Your mother. We don't bring up our families in our fights. We don't want to bring in outside issues into our marriage or cause a fight. Our families are part of our lives, but they are not part of our marriage. [07:27] It's taking a shot below the belt. [08:25] We are imperfect parents raised by imperfect parents who were raised by imperfect parents. [09:43] The grace we give is the grace we will receive. [13:47] Focus on one good thing and give yourself time to mature. Find one good trait. [14:40] 2. Keeping score. This is different than forgiveness. [15:49] We have been married 25 years. We can forgive even when things aren't forgotten. Use caution and don't bring up those things. If there is true forgiveness. it's not fair to bring those things up. [17:48] Stop keeping records of wrongs. Don't remind them of what they did and speak to who they are. [19:22] 3. We go to bed angry and often wake up with a clear head. [21:42] It's freeing to go to bed angry. We don't even sleep apart. Give yourself a break, don't go to the couch. [22:31] We make poor decisions when exhausted and worn out physically and emotionally. [26:03] 4. Button pushing. This was a big one for us. When you spend  a lot of time with someone, you know their buttons. [27:46] Write down your hot buttons on a post-it note. It's disrespect to push these buttons intentionally. [29:52] Over time, people change and the hot button issues change. [31:42] When we aren't in the fight is the best time to talk it out. [33:39] The hot button aspect is removed when things are talked about. [34:03] 5. A hand gesture that would signify an immediate stop. No matter how tense things are. Everything stops! Enough of this topic now. [35:56] This gesture has to be used sparingly and responsibly. [36:43] We have used this when it comes to money, parenting, business, or when we were tired. [37:21] It's a pause button. [38:57] Treat the other person like you would want to be treated. Try to out serve and out love them and a time will come when it is returned. [40:38] Became a safe place for your spouse to fall. Pillows not thorns. [41:32] We took a canoe trip. We tipped over three times in a 30 degree river in Oklahoma. We were sitting in the wrong positions. [43:13] It was a hilarious trip, but we love each other. We pick on each other, but we LOVE each other. [44:28] The more time we spend with each other the better. We are wild about each other. [45:27] The last three questions with David! [47:25] If there is one thing I want you to know about this episode is that you can let go of all of the trite cliches and expectations. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary Bolster Sleep Tell them Melissa sent you!

I had a wonderful beautiful childhood, and I feel really blessed and fortunate to be able to say that. I was an only child for most of my life. I was very close to my parents, and I felt very safe in my home. I know that's not the story for everyone. It's always bothered me and maybe even made me feel a little bit guilty. I want everyone's childhood to be perfect and rosy and without trauma. Now that I'm a parent, I know that we never get it all right. At this point, most of us are aware of our parents misgivings. A few months ago, I attended a class on childhood trauma. I wasn't even sure if this class was going to be for me. A great communicator can draw you in whether the topic specifically pertains to you or not. That's what Carlos Martinez did that day. He was such a great teacher that I hung on every word. Carlos is here today to talk about childhood trauma, forgiveness, and more. Before listening to this episode, we recommend that you watch this TED Talk about adverse childhood experiences. You can find Carlos here: Carlos Martinez Website carlos@onsiteworkshops.com Instagram:  @onsiteworkshops Facebook:  @onsiteworkshops Show Notes [05:01] Carlos got his first Masters in Divinity. Then his second Masters is in counseling. [06:17] Dream Big was held in a place nestled in Tennessee, and it's a life-changing place that Carlos now works at. They hold different intensive workshops. [08:08] Melissa has been going over her journal that she started at the Dream Big Event. It's not about the rip, it's about the repair.  Melissa was so taken with what Carlos was saying that she couldn't even take notes. [10:04] The TED Talk by Nadine Burke Harris talks about how childhood trauma can change the development of our brain. [10:24] Carlos is a survivor of several kinds of trauma, so he is deeply immersed in it. He loves how the TED Talk makes the topic accessible. [11:08] Carlos had to work through his anger and frustration about the things that weren't being talked about at church. [11:56] God's grace allows us to do what we can with the information that we are given if we let ourselves step into it. [12:04] Having survived trauma himself, Carlos realized that he could work with trauma survivors. [13:05] In the video, she talks about ACES or Adverse Childhood Experiences. [15:23] The Still Face Experiment video. It's traumatic for a child not to get a response from a parent. [17:40] It's not pleasant to think about, but if we think back some of us might find some emotional abuse. [18:20] The higher your ACE score the more it affects your health. [19:02] Carlos is forever a work-in-progress working on his day-to-day recovery. [19:28] He has always had an issue with breathing and catching his breath. He has to take steps to relax and breathe normally. [20:40] Carlos is constantly working on the repair of himself and those around him and those under his stewardship. [20:58] Having a relationship with Christ gives you grace for that day. [21:52] Breathing is one of our primal urges and threats to our safety can be a primal threat. [22:40] Our life comes from our breath, and it is our most basic drive. [23:49] It's not about the rip, it's about to repair. This is about taking responsibility and stepping into the repair. This reminds Carlos of Romans 5 in the Bible. The power of Jesus brought dead people to life. [25:55] Imagine what relationships could be repaired if we step into taking full ownership and repairing those relationships. [27:04] Saying I'm sorry is being vulnerable, and it doesn't come easy for everyone. [29:32] There's a physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional cost of not forgiving. [30:21] Forgiveness isn't a moment it's a process. [32:22] Carlos has a small inner circle, and those who he holds the closest, he also holds the most accountable. [34:44] Relationships are special gifts limited by time and space and energy. [36:35] Know that this message came across today, because it's the next step in your journey. This is part of God's timing, so take the next step and reach out or talk to someone or find counseling. [38:02] We are all worth investing in and showing ourselves a little bit of mercy. [39:35] Three Rapid Fire questions with Carlos... [42:40] What you went through is real, and it's part of the story that makes you you. I hope you can get to a place of acceptance and learn from it and grow from it. [43:40] Take a screenshot on your phone and let us know why this episode was important to you. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Sign Up for Insider Access Dream Big Bob Goff ACES TED Talk How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across a Lifetime | Nadine Burke Harris Still Face Experiment: Dr. Edward Tronick The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma The Best Gift You Can Ever Give Your Parents Nadine Harris TED Talk About ACES  

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert. She is the owner of a company that specializes in corporate etiquette training. She is the author of Modern Etiquette for a Better Life. She has appeared on The Today Show, Headline News, CBS Sunday Morning, and in the New York Times. She is also poised, beautiful, smart, and so well-spoken. I was nervous about having an etiquette expert like Diane on the show today, but she put me at ease. Diane teaches that etiquette is about mind and soul, and that they are connected. She believes that etiquette is about putting other people at ease, and that's what she did with me. She also answered my questions with such grace and wisdom that I loved this episode. Diane shares insights about life we all need to keep in mind. This interview wasn’t what I had expected, but it is filled with actionable knowledge we can all use. You can find Diane here: Diane Gottsman Website Diane Gottsman on Instagram Diane Gottsman on Facebook dg@psotx.com Show Notes [02:45] Diane is in San Antonio today. [05:25] To Diane etiquette isn't stuffy, it's about life skills and making other people feel comfortable. Every person at every age can fine-tune their life skills. [05:59] When Diane was growing up she didn't know what she wanted to do, but she did know she wanted to work with people. [06:25] Diane has a master's degree in human behavior. She started fundraising for meals-on-wheels. She also worked with a children's charity and one of the children said when she grew up she wanted to be just like Diane. [07:33] She had an aha moment and realized that knowledge and training was all that was holding this little girl back. This inspired Diane to work and train people in all walks of life. [08:33] She merged her teaching and training into one. By nature Diane is an introvert. She is still shy, but she's a socialized introvert. [09:48] It's up to us to be relationship builders. Etiquette is just about being authentic and genuine. That is what Diane teaches. [10:37] We get to choose how we behave and how others treat us. We train people how to treat us. If someone is talking down to you, you don't have to waste a lot of time with them. [11:07] It's about feeling good about yourself and knowing that you are not competing with anyone else. [11:16] Money doesn't buy class it buys a great pair of shoes. It's about self confidence and making others around you feel comfortable. [11:36] If everyone likes you, there's something wrong with you. It means you're not speaking your truth. [11:45] Diane teaches etiquette which is about mind and soul, and they are connected. [13:02] There's a difference between assertive and aggressive. You lose your power when you scream or shout. [13:48] As we grow, we weed our friendship gardens. [14:40] A graceful exit isn't a shouting match. It's better to talk about something positive rather than negative. You can gracefully exit. You don't need to give excuses. There is power in truth, but use good judgement. [16:54] Diane owns the Protocol School of Texas which is a company that specializes in corporate etiquette training. [17:35] You are your brand. Always work on your brand. [19:44] It's up to us as parents to do the best that we can. Give your kids structure and boundaries. [20:54] Diane instilled values in her kids. The need to be respectful, make eye contact, exchange a handshake when appropriate, and be open and have grace. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt. [22:13] When eating at restaurants, at the end of the meal, Melissa asks her kids what were the color of the eyes of their waiter or waitress. [22:48] When you are introduced to someone stand up. [25:25] Balance is the key with social media. You can tell a great deal about a person from their posts. Social media can help you, but we all need face-to-face relationships. [27:20] Texting isn't a bad thing, but it may not be the best thing in some situations. Know the language of the person that you are relating to. [28:29] Everyone should have people around them who lift them up. [31:44] Cell phone etiquette? Put your phone away at a party or event. You can use your phone when getting a pedicure. Use your best judgement. The most important person is sitting across from you. [34:28] Thank you notes? They aren't outdated. Send the note. [36:29] Hold a red wine glass from the bowl and a white wine glass from the stem. A champagne flute is held from the stem. [36:56] Hostess gifts are still a thing. Take one when you are invited to a party or to stay at someone’s home. Send flowers in advance. Don't make the host or hostess stop and find a vase. Bring wine, tea towels, or olive oil. [38:21] You shouldn't be thinking about the exit at the entrance of a party. It's your job to be pleasant and interesting. At a wedding reception, wait until the cake is cut. At a dinner, you have to wait for dessert. [40:57] Tipping for a housekeeper during holidays is fine. [42:16] How to deal with personal questions. These questions are invasive and off limits. Keep your questions to yourself. Set boundaries with questions. [45:41] Listen to your gut, it will guide you. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break. [46:49] We should all strive to surround ourselves with people who lift us up. [48:12] Diane answers the three rapid fire questions. [52:41] Etiquette is about class and grace. It's about raising our children to make others feel like the most important people in the room. It's about looking people in the eye when we speak to them. It's about listening instead of speaking. It's about putting down our phones. It's about extending a hand rather than a text. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Modern Etiquette for a Better Life How to Change How You Feel Without Changing Who You Are Webinar Tipping Etiquette

I love today’s guest. My friend Ashley Berry is a life coach, entrepreneur, cancer survivor, mom, foster mom, and woman of strength and wisdom. She loves and touches everyone she comes into contact with. Ashley is passionate about coaching and seeing lives changed for the better. She has overcome breast cancer and many other obstacles in life and is a pure inspiration. She also proves God's love even in times of uncertainty. In this episode, we have a no holds barred conversation about life, love, and parenting. Ashley shares her perspective on today’s society and culture and gives some wonderful ways that we can all make our world better. She lives by example and cares for everyone she meets. We talk about men, raising children, respecting each other, and how Ashley turned her breast cancer journey into the inspiration to start a nonprofit to help others in need. You can find Ashley here: Living ZoeInstagram:  @ zoecoachingFacebook:  @livingzoecoachingashley@livingzoe.net Show Notes [07:20] Ashley was dating her son's father in college. It didn't work out for them, but Ashley has a son named Cayden and now has a good relationship with his father. [09:32] As a result, Ashley is teaching her son to take care of his responsibilities. [10:15] Ashley met her dad when she was 12, and it was a series of let downs after that. [11:26] Ashley is ready to get married. The type of guy who is going to be in her life has to love God first. [13:59] About six years ago, Ashley was praying and she visualized herself sitting with Jesus. That moment changed her relationship with Christ and has helped her to love people differently. [17:02] Ashley grew up with her grandparents until she was seven, and her grandfather was an alcoholic. [19:41] Ashley worries about whether Cayden will be seen differently, because he is black. [22:32] She wants to protect him, so she sets an example of how to be respectful. [25:50] All people deserve the same mutual respect. [27:08] Saying negative things in front of our children leaves a much stronger impact then we realize. [28:13] When we all decide that we are all valuable and worth so much more, and we start truly caring about each other we will stop being mean and start caring about people. [31:07] Melissa shares an example that Oprah told about how pit bulls are loving, but they are feared because of all the bad things people hear. Oprah made the same analogy about black men. [32:12] There are so many good strong intelligent black men who are leaders in this country. These men are setting the pathway for younger black men behind them. [33:17] We can teach children to respond in such a way that doesn't continue the vicious cycle. [33:58] Ashley is also a foster care parent. She has been fostering since August. She now has a 14 month old little boy. [34:57] He is a joy. He sleeps all night long and eats really well. [35:42] People need to show these children what family looks like and break the cycle of dysfunctional families. [37:21] Ashley refuses to allow circumstances to define her. Breast cancer was one of those situations. [38:49] There's no point in just existing. We need to dig deep and get it done. [39:45] Ashley is a life coach and the owner of 3 event venues. [40:27] She also helped her best friend with catering. [40:43] She is also starting a nonprofit called East Texas Cancer Alliance of Hope. [40:58] There is a significant need for tangible hope for people with cancer. [41:56] They will provide tangible hope in the form of gas vouchers, food vouchers, hotel bills, co-pays, and things that will make it easier for people not to have to choose between treatment and paying the bills. [42:30] When Ashley sees a need for something, she goes ahead and does it. [43:57] Do what you can with what you have. Nothing should hold you back. Someone is waiting for you to tell your story. Be authentic and inspire and help someone. [45:20] Ashley loves people, and where she is today is where God has taken her. [47:45] Ashley answers the rapid fire questions. [51:47] Live in such a way that if someone spoke badly about you, no one would believe it. That is how Melissa feels about Ashley. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Just Mercy Just Mercy for Young Adults Oprah and Bryan Stevenson The Shack Limitless Event Venues East Texas Cancer Alliance of Hope Dare to Lead

We miss so many good opportunities, because we won't walk across the room. I was at the same conference as Nicole, and I asked what brought her here. She said that she's a mom of four and two of her children are almost grown and two of her children are still at home, and she has been looking at her life and thinking what's next. Do you ever wonder what's next for you? Are you ever looking for something more? Nicole Botha is excited by travel. She is an experience seeker. She loves yarn and is intrigued by diversity. She finds authenticity stimulating and suburbia frustrating. She is a feeler and an introvert. She is moved by heart connections, and she thinks kindness is sexy. She is here to today to discuss what it means to want something more and how to find that something. You can find Nicole here: Nicole on Instagram: @niccishoo niccishoo@gmail.com Show Notes [03:34] Nicole is on the East Coast of South Africa. [04:07] South Africa celebrates Christmas, but the weather is different. Her family took a road trip and discovered the country and then went to Cape Town and Johannesburg. [04:58] Then some of her family climbed Kilimanjaro on January 1st. [06:15] Melissa met Nicole at Bob Goff's Dream Big Conference. [06:21] Nicole and her husband got married in their early twenties. They have been married for 27 years and have four children. [06:46] Their oldest daughter is in her last year of college and is hoping to go study in Paris. [06:56] Her next daughter is almost 18 and summited Kilimanjaro along with her husband. [07:11] Their son Chase is 15, and son Rory is 11. [08:24] The greatest thing about moving away from family is that you are left with only relying on each other. This creates opportunities to grow and explore. [10:24] Nicole had a lot of problems with one of her daughters, and it took her a long time to get over the control she had over her. [11:57] The worst thing she ever had to do was tell her daughter that she didn't have to love her. [14:39] She told her daughter that she couldn't cross the bridge to see her anymore, but her daughter was welcome to cross the bridge to visit her. [16:19] She also apologized to her other children for all the attention and energy they had to give to her one daughter. [17:33] It's not healthy for a family to have problems that they don't talk about. [21:40] Nicole learned that just because her children are different, it doesn't mean that she is a failure. [22:12] The key is the way that we respond when things go off the rails. [26:12] Nicole has no problem with challenging societal norms. She won't just lie down and play dead. [27:11] Rebels with a cause is about when God puts things in front of us that are different and how doing the same thing everyday to deal with it doesn't work. We can force everything to be the same. We are all here for a purpose and have different treasures within us. [33:42] How there's a swing with people beginning to realize that they can be vulnerable with their emotions. [36:18] Things are now okay with Nicole and her daughter, and they are even friends. [37:58] Our lives and our families are in jeopardy if we don't have an ongoing relationship with God. [40:17] Nicole is trying to turn more in to God, she visualizes herself in a duvet and rolling into Him. [43:46] Nicole answers the rapid fire questions. [47:31] I really loved this interview and how down to earth Nicole is. She does what she can do and lets God sort out the best. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Culture of Honor Loving Our Kids On Purpose Dream Big Bob Goff Number One Question Free Webinar

When I'm with my friends we like to talk about hair, fashion, or whether keto even really works. We also talk about serious things. We rarely dive into the topic of grief. This is weird because we all grieve. Within my set of friends there is one whose marriage is ending, there is one who has buried a child, there are three or four who have buried a parent, had to file bankruptcy, and a few have checked a loved one into rehab. Grief is this thing that we all have in common, yet we don't talk about it. Why? We don't talk about grief, because grief is a party crasher. We touch on it briefly. We know it's not going away. It's cracks will be with us forever. Grief will always be a part of our lives, so we might as well learn a little bit about it. This is where my friend Stefanie comes in. My guest today is Stefanie Boyce. Stefanie is a speaker, writer, bible study teacher, wife, mother of 3 (two who are at home and one with Jesus). She is currently journeying from Type A to Plan B. You can find Stefanie here: Stefanie BoyceInstagram:  @StefanieBoyce5Facebook:  @StefanieBoyce5 Show Notes [04:21] When I met Stefanie, she swept me off my feet. Our hearts connected. [05:31] Stefanie is going from type A to plan B. [06:19] Stefanie realized that God has a better plan for her. [06:52] She had to understand that God wanted the best for her and his plan was better even though there was pain. [07:38] In 2009, Stefanie's son was diagnosed with mucopolysaccharidoses or MPS. They were devastated to find out that their son's health would continue to regress. She then found out that her 3-month old daughter also had it. [12:45] Her daughter had a different sub-type. [14:07] Stefanie watched her newly diagnosed children laugh and play, and she decided that these diseases were not going to get the better of them. [14:30] Stefanie realized in that moment, her kids were still alive, and she was going to make the most of it and trust in the lord.   [14:53] Because these diseases were genetic, there was a 25% chance any new children would have it. [15:39] They pursued every angle to safely add a children to their family. They then surrendered to God, and Stefanie got pregnant. Her newest daughter didn't have it and isn't a carrier. [17:01] She realized she would have to live in a world where she held typical and terminal intention. [18:39] We can choose to focus on the things in life that aren't broken. [19:12] Stefanie's son passed away when he was 11 years old. [19:20] Her nine-year-old daughter Brooklyn passed away eight months later. [19:33] They lost both children within 8 months. [20:22] The blessing underneath the pain was that Stefanie knew that her time was limited and made the most of it. [22:19] If we don't learn how to integrate the laughter with the sorrow, I don't know how we would do it. You can't compartmentalize grief, it just becomes part of your story. [23:35] Some of the most difficult things that God brings us through are also some of the most amazing gifts. We can now see things that we didn't see before. [25:59] I can either choose to bring purpose to my pain and use it to help other people, or I can just look at all of the darkness and how bad it sucks. [28:50] Gold plate grit. The strong are the ones who watch the process of healing. [31:21] Every good story has a middle ground, and that is why the redemption story at the end is so good. [33:00] If we surrender and ask God to show us, there is beauty to be found. [33:31] Surrender and ask God to take control. Surrender and ask God give you the eyes to see. [37:02] You don't have to be on the other side of your pain to start seeing beautiful things. [38:25] It's easy to feel sorry for yourself, but it's about surrender and making something beautiful. [39:36] A lot of it is about making a choice. [40:44] Grief can be like a wave you can feel it wash over you, but you will be better and stronger on the other side of it. [42:20] No one can help the grieving like those that are grieving. [43:41] War wounds and scars are things that we have in common. [45:54] The most important thing you can do to help people that are going through grief is to let them speak about their loved ones and say their names. [46:07] We are so afraid to bring up grief and pain, but by saying their names we honor the life that they lived. [49:00] I will always associate Stefanie as being joyful. [50:45] Stefanie answers the three rapid fire questions. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Singles Love Letter Rising Strong by Brene Brown Blessed Be Your Name by Matt Redman What Is Sanfilippo Syndrome? What is mucopolysaccharidoses?

2019 is about body, mind, and soul. These three topics are connected within all of us, because you can’t change one without affecting the other. I am so excited to focus on these topics. I know in 2020, when I look back at this year, I will see a healthier, happier, more hopeful me. The first few weeks of this podcast were focused on the body. Now it’s time to focus on the mind. This is a very special and personal topic for me. For years, I was a victim to my own thoughts. What we think about is what we become. This topic is so important that I recorded this episode, thought about it for a week, and then did it all over again. This is a topic that I have lived and can speak about from the heart. In this episode, I talk about retraining our minds, not believing lies others tell us, not believing lies we tell ourselves, and what a difference our thoughts can make in our lives. This topic is so important to me that I’m even creating a course around it. You can find Melissa here: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Show Notes [06:33] There were times when I was an enemy to my own self whether it was believing I was too good or believing that I was nothing. [06:49] It's difficult to train our minds. [07:46] The way we do everything from parenting to work is based on the things that we think. [08:40] I can't negate the importance of what goes on in our minds. Even the scriptures tell us to think of good things and things that are lovely. [09:09] What we process in our minds is what we choose to let in, and this creates the words that come out of our mouths. [10:48] My depression was a mind issue for me. In my mind, there was a war raging for my thoughts and my life. [11:37] I had to change my focus and my thoughts. I had to write sentences and put them around my house. [12:11] We are believing lies and not just lies from the people who spoke them but also from ourselves. [12:31] So many of us have had negative things spoken to us as children. Why do we believe the hate? [13:49] I remember things people said to me, and I remember my go to lines. [13:55] Why am I trying to lose weight? Girls like me can't lose weight? [16:13] I did not realize the power my own thoughts had over my life. If I thought I would fail in a certain situation, I would. [16:37] When I put the work into changing the thoughts in my head, my life changed. [17:25] I spent years replacing every single lie in my mind with the truth. I spent years fighting for my life and my mind. [18:14] It's so important that you understand that your thoughts control your life that I am creating a course about it. [19:59] There is nothing you believe, that you haven't given yourself permission to believe. [23:31] Stop waging war on yourself and thinking things are never going to change and things are never going to get better. [24:21] "Whenever you hear opportunity knocking just know that on the other side of it is work." Brendon Burchard [24:24] You have an opportunity to change the way you think, and we are going to do it together. [26:02] We are going to remove one lie at a time and replace it with something positive. Like pulling weeds and replacing them with flowers. [29:17] I want you to know that I'm mad at you for being an enemy to yourself. Why can't you see yourself Like Jesus does? [32:26] I take every thought I have, and I make it sit down and shut up if it doesn't align with the truth that I know to be about me. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Singles Love Letter The Life Coach School - “How to Feel Better”

Theresa Grecco has been one of my closest friends for 20 years. Theresa recently bought a practice from a woman who is retiring. Her business is killing it, and she has clients who are raving about her. I've been a little curious and have been wanting to see what she does. I flew to Nashville, where Theresa lives and works, to try it for myself. I even recorded it for you. In case you're wondering,Theresa is a colon hydrotherapist. I know you're thinking that this isn't the type of therapy that you thought I needed. The reason I'm sharing this experience is because everyone I told about this said they wanted to know more. What you’re about to hear can't be glossed over. It can't be called anything other than what it is. I'll be giving you a first-hand account of what happens when you hop on the table and take your friendship to a whole new level. You can find Theresa here: The Body Benefit The Body Benefit on Facebook Show Notes [05:55] Water has started going in. [06:56] Now it is being increased to release gas. [07:54] Water is now going into Melissa’s colon. [08:59] The water goes in and then when Theresa releases pressure things get pushed out. [09:59] As the water goes in it breaks up the poop, so it can be released. [10:54] Theresa had digestive issues. A doctor suggested she try colon hydrotherapy. [11:30] She didn't want to do it, but she felt a big relief after the first visit. [11:59] We all have mucus to facilitate going poop and to protect us from our stomach acid. [12:41] Cloudy water can be a sign of candida. [13:11] After they flush everything out, they put the good bacteria back in. [15:03] Candida can double in size in a half an hour with one dose of sugar. [15:16] Colon hydrotherapy is great for people who suffer from constipation or diarrhea, candida, are coming down with a cold or flu, people who've consumed excessive food or alcohol, and people who have been flying. [16:19] This therapy can actually help you get unblocked physically and emotionally. [18:56] Each session takes between 45 minutes and an hour and 15 minutes. [19:38] The left side of our body is where the more solid poop is. [20:15] There are great benefits to doing coffee enemas. Theresa also encourages her clients to do coffee enemas at home. [21:14] Benefits include healing the colon, rebuilding the liver, reducing pain, eliminating parasites, helping with depression, improving mental clarity, improving energy, helping digestion, releasing toxins, and more. [21:45] David is in the room doing the recording, but he is as far away as he can possibly be. [22:30] It's recommended to start with three sessions in 7 days. Maintenance is once a month. If you are eating healthy and doing coffee enemas, you can skip a couple months. A package of three is $325 and one session is $115. [23:58] It's important to make sure that you eliminate the bad stuff and put the good stuff back in. [25:51] We can hold anger in our liver, and the cleanse can release it. [30:38] The worst part of this whole process for Melissa is that it feels irritating, because it feels like she needs to go to the bathroom. [32:48] One of Theresa's clients lost 8 pounds, afterwards. [34:13] When doing a coffee enema at home run water through your body before you start the coffee. [36:13] Melissa answers Theresa's rapid fire questions for her. [39:08] Melissa went into the experience with an open mind, and she liked it. [39:50] Melissa answers the questions that everyone wants to know about the process. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download

How can we dedicate this season to the body and not talk about working out? You know me. You know I don't want to talk about this, but today is the day. The one and only Casey Adams is here today. Casey is the perfect guest for this show, because he takes ordinary people and moves them out of their comfort zone and into great held. Casey is a gym owner, personal trainer, and future Ninja. He is a father of three and husband to a beautiful wife, and they share a strong love for Jesus. He is an adventure seeking, fun loving, and funny guy. He is also fond of his large, crazy sock collection. You can find Casey here: Casey Adams on Instagram Fitt Life on Facebook Fitt Life Gym3116 S. John Redditt Dr.Lufkin TX 75904 Show Notes [03:17] David Radke is also here with Casey. [04:20] Melissa and her cousin were both in one of Casey's spin classes. [06:16] David met Casey when he used to work out regularly. [07:26] Casey's gym is split into three sections.Upfront they have cardio and weights with a kids section on the side. In the middle, they have an American Ninja Warrior ninja gym. In the back, there is a Kids Zone and dedicated party room with an obstacle course in back. [12:13] Done properly, you can make an elliptical a great workout. Casey can't promise it will be fun, but if you're successful at this you will be successful at other things. [14:35] David has always been a fan of working out by himself. He's never been to a class. [15:04] Some people work better one-on-one and some people like the motivation of a group.[19:11] You can get Casey's Hitt Treadmill Workout book by contacting him on Facebook.[19:38] He wrote this book, because his clients were always asking him for workouts. [20:11] There is also a hitt book in the works. [23:03] Some of the exercises in the book just require a person, a treadmill, and the ground. [25:39] Start walking a couple miles every day and work on your diet and work on yourself. [26:30] Gauge your soreness and listen to your body. You want to feel it, but you don't want to eat. [27:40] David talks about how it's important to actually get something accomplished not to set giant goals that you'll never get done. [28:21] Goals need to be realistic and attainable. [28:56] It's more important than ever to have a plan. [29:46] We are all a work in progress and that's where the Mind, Body, and Soul come in. [30:23] The workouts in the hitt book can be done every day, because they change body parts. [31:22] Daisy Fuentes was the most beautiful woman to Melissa when she was in high school. [32:14] Melissa wants to feel better. The best way to start is to ease yourself in and come up with a game plan. [33:07] Starting consists of taking that first step. [35:13] Working out is a choice that you aren't just doing for yourself. It's also for your family. [36:30] When Casey was younger, he had some bad lifestyle choices. Then one of his friend's father passed away, and he decided to get fit and started running. [38:04] Eat better and do some form of exercise, and you will feel better. [39:09] Doing small incremental things each day is the key. [40:42] Melissa is going to be brave and work out this year. [43:08] God has changed Casey's life, and now Casey is changing other people's lives. [43:39] When he started, he knew that God would provide. [46:28] The three last questions. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club Can’t Hurt Me by David Coggins Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears