Podcasts about lusting

There's always some politician or someone at the office who is simply lusting after power. And then there's that moment when someone blurts out: “I’m lusting after some dark chocolate right now.” Lust. Lusting. We use that phrase to describe wanting something. So is lust just a longing or hankering for something? And why would THAT be a sin? And if sex is something good and a gift from God - how is LUST different from good sex (the kind experienced in a loving marriage between a husband and a wife)? In this message, Max Vanderpool wades into sex (the act and activity) and examines why Jesus made the claim that someone can actually commit "sexual sin" in their heart - without ever doing the deed.

We read the papers so you don't have to. Today: The Mirror is the only front page to mark the five year anniversary of Covid. Jason can't quite get their head around the government's baffling response to the pandemic. Meanwhile, Sarah Vine at The Daily Mail has gone ‘fat jab' mad, so Jonn takes a look at some of the most baffling columns around the weight loss drug. Plus – The Guardian looks at the romantasy revolution and Miranda questions if she would be happier with a beastly beau.  Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and the Messiah of the YIMBYs Jonn Elledge and comedic writer and man about town Jason Hazeley.   Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Styling Matters, Lizzi Richardson tells her own story of an item she has been lusting after and what she will be doing.LUSTING AFTER - Episode 120 of Styling MattersLove Lizzi & her styling tips, then you will love her Ageless Style Guide that you can get for FREE! Simply subscribe to receive Lizzi's style notes and latest style articles from Substack: ⁠⁠⁠Get your copy here.⁠⁠⁠Don't forget to hit the subscribe button on your podcast too!love Lizzi xFollow me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠@lizzi.richardson⁠⁠⁠⁠Styling Matters is here on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Modern Beyond Midlife on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠

Pastor Jordan continues the Kingdom Culture message series – exploring Jesus' teaching on the Kingdom standard for looking, lusting, and divorcing.

More unprompted smart speaker clips? You betcha!This week there's a BLAZING ROW between two characters, an INVASION of winged creatures and we finally find out who Bed Linens Weekly readers are LUSTING after. No surprises really.Take cover! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is she Shacking or is he shacking? Yolanda's always beat me up about sin and shacking! The church always punishes sexual sins, but hardly ever punishes, social and spiritual sins. How do we overcome this? Why is sexual sin? The only thing that is punished and why does Yolanda always jump on me about sexual scenes?

Has JLR made a dentist appointment yet? Suspicious activity leads police to believe a married father of three, Ryan Borgwardt, faked his death and fled to another country. Charlie thinks about leaving his life behind and starting from scratch once a month. Is Charlie trying to sabotage Rover? Duji disputes the anniversary date of her dry spell. Getting the wrong item delivered from your Amazon order. B2 wanted Rover to buy a bar restaurant and he declined. Olivia Munn drug tests John Mulaney to make sure he is clean. Michael Strahan grabs cellphone out of a person's hand outside of his house. Video of the woman who was peppered sprayed by Nick Fuentes. Caller pines after a stipper. 

A luxury brand can be an utterly aspirational prospect for many, but is it the magic bullet it promises to be? If you want move into this space, there is a whole load you absolutely need to be considering up front. In this episode we dig into the why's and the wherefores of what it takes to create a luxury brand. Fi talks us through some of the visual signifiers and the critical importance of getting it right. We explore the demands it places on an entrepreneur who wants to sit comfortably in the luxury space, the challenges and the definite up sides. A must listen for anyone serious about holding their own in luxury sector!#luxurybranding #colourpsychology #creatingaluxurybrand Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New Moon - Young Thug - Liberal Media - Trump Rally/Puerto Rico - Kamala Campaign Strategy - Jan 6 Riot scheme - Righteous Lust vs Wicked Lust

Session 2Featured Speakers: Evangelist John Goetsch, Evangelist Mike Shrock, Pastor Nate Beam, Pastor Mike Rodgers, Evangelist Tim Schmidt

We discuss:- - Cheating husbands - Lusting over women on the explore page - Motherhood Hosts:- Gabz: @Gabz_Amadi Eman: @Gaemechanger Ore: @Ms_Ore #RTRWPodcast You can contact us: Twitter: @RTRW_Podcast Instagram: @RealTalkRealWalk_ Email: RealTalkRealWalk@hotmail.com

Jack Is Busted.Based on a post by Quinn_McMullen, in 7 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels.Chapter 14.Friday was a damp, miserable, rainy day. The wind was whipping and I was thankful to have a roof over my head. After I saw Zoë off on her day, I spent a couple hours working on my lesson plans for the coming weeks of classes. I worked on my research a bit, and then had a nice lunch. That afternoon I got out my bass guitar and started practicing pieces our band used to play. Based on Francesca’s promise to get gigging again, I downloaded our old repertoire and was playing them on the stereo, playing along to get the timing and rhythm down. It was about half past five and I was having a grand old time.The piece ended, “Damn you’re good.”I must have jumped a foot off the ground. It took me a moment or two to catch my breath, “Damn it Chris! Don’t do that to old people.”She was laughing, “I’m sorry. You were really going and I didn’t want to interrupt you. I take it you are taking Francesca’s idea to get the band together at face value.”“I’m hoping.”Chrissy smiled mischievously, “Well my dear Quinn, I have brought us a 12-pack and we’re going to celebrate.”“What?” I set my Fender in the guitar stand, turned off the amp, and took the proffered can.She said, “Let’s go into the living room.”I took the box of beer from her. It was short a few cans. I looked at her quizzically, “Have you been drinking and driving?”“I had one on the way over. I was fine for driving.”I put the box in the refrigerator and headed to the living room. I sat on the couch hoping she would sit next to me, but instead Chrissy pulled the Ottoman in front of me. She kicked off her brown flats and sat cross-legged. She looked very professional with a pair of loose fitting beige slacks and a forest green blouse.“My lawyer just called and she got the initial report from her detective buddy.” She took a long drink and I motioned for her to continue. “Jack’s cunt is not of legal age. And, she’s his boss’ fucking daughter. He is so fucked! He’s is going to go to prison for statutory rape and be somebody’s pretty boy bitch.”I took a sip of beer. It was refreshing, “What else?”“The report has pictures. This guy used a telephoto lens. What’s the Latin? In flagrante delicto. Her name is Alexis and now I remember Jack talking about Alex from work. I think this has been going on for a long time. I wonder how long he will keep his job after his boss finds out.”“I’m thinking less than a few seconds.”“He’s looking at two to three years in jail and a $10,000 fine. Serves his cheating ass right. He’s going to have his puny ass fucked every night.”I said, “So my dearest friend, not to put a damper on your joy, but there are some other things to think about.”“I know. I haven’t started down that path yet.” She guzzled the rest of her beer.“Slow down Chrissy We have all night.”She jumped up and got another beer from the fridge.When she returned, I continued, “Jack in prison means no child support. It probably means he will not get any custody rights, maybe even zero visitation rights. When are you seeing the judge?”“Wednesday.”“Chrissy, this is probably the last weekend that you will be kid-less for some time. You will soon be a full-time single mom.”“Well, you’re a buzz kill.”“Sorry.”Chrissy took a long drink of the beer, “I bet I could get my mom to come out and help. You would like her. She’s sexy just like me, but older.” She took another long drink.“Slow down, you’re going to be plastered.”“That’s the plan.”“Please don’t. I love the sober Chrissy Let’s get some food. What do you like on your pizza?”“Pepperoni, extra cheese, and extra garlic.”I called and ordered the pizza, “Be here in twenty minutes.”Chrissy seemed to be getting tipsy, “How about going on a date with me this weekend?”“That sounds nice. I don’t think you’re going to be in good shape to go tonight though.”“Tomorrow. Where’s a good spot?”I thought a moment, “How about that new Asian place?”“Oh, I love sushi. When I was in Japan I lived on sushi and sashimi. You were over there too.”“We have an air base at Atsugi, southwest of Tokyo. Loved everything about Japan.”“I loved everything but the chikkan.”“Chikkan?”“When the men would grope you on the trains. They’d grab your ass, your crotch, your boobs. Any woman was fair game. Packed tight in those trains you’re a sitting duck. During my first week on the train, my arms were pinned. I actually had somebody go up my dress and put their finger in my cooch. Assholes.”“That’s horrible.”“I started carrying this small, sharp letter opener and any hand that touched me got stabbed.”Chrissy polished off her beer and went to the fridge for another. She called out, “Want one?”Mine was still half full, “I’m good.”She came back and sat on the Ottoman, “I gotta lose this bra.”She unbuttoned her blouse, pealed it off, and was soon topless. Chrissy's beautiful breasts immediately caused my cock to stir.“Are you back in tease mode?”“Absolutely. Tonight I am going to drive you crazy with lust.”“My dear Christina, I have been lusting after you for eight years.”“I know. You dirty old man. Lusting after young nubile women like me. Let me allow you to lust after me a little more closely.”Chrissy came and straddled my lap, facing me, her knees on either side of me on the couch. She kissed me, leading with her tongue. “Quinn, you are an absolutely great kisser.”“I think you are better.”She kissed me again. Her soft lips sent a shiver down my spine. Her smooth, warm tongue caused my heart to beat a bit faster. Chrissy placed my hand on her breast. She brought her hand to my face and moaned, her tongue probing further into my mouth.She started slurring her words a little. “So here’s a philosophical question for a philosophical doctor. Now I need to emphasize that this entire scenario is entirely hypothetical. Let’s say two friends were friends with shower benefits.”I smiled, “Oh, it is hypothetical. I don’t know anyone like that.”She kissed me, “I think you should put down your beer and place this other hand on my breast.”I cupped her soft mound. My cold fingers moved gently over her erect nipples. Goosebumps rose on her chest.Chrissy licked my earlobe and whispered, “My body is aching for you. I really need you Quinn. I need your cock inside me.”“Let’s sober you up first.”She kissed my mouth again. “I think we were having a discussion.”“Yes. Hypothetically of course.”“Yes. So if these two hypothetical people were to go on a date, could the date end romantically?”“By romantically you mean kissing and hugging?”She kissed me, “By romantically, I mean wild, passionate sex. Like fucking my lights out.”“Your lights out?"Remember, I’m asking for a friend.”“So I am not an expert on contract law, but I am assuming these two friends have some kind of agreement?”I reached for my beer and had a drink. After I set it down she returned my hand to her breast. “They do, but it only involves showering events.”“Okay. So where might these two theoretical people go on a date?”“Maybe to a nice Asian restaurant. Maybe afterward a romantic walk in the park. Maybe after that they might retire to the gentleman’s home to suck cock and eat coochie.”“Ah.”“A night of continuous orgasm.”There was a knock on the door. I said, “Pizza guy is here. You can stand to the side. He won’t see you.”I went to the door and invited the guy in from the rain. He looked to be in his twenties.I said, “How much is it?”“$22.00”He handed me a credit card receipt and I started to add a tip.Just then Chrissy came in wearing a smile and nothing else, “I’ll take the pizza.”The delivery guy was dumbfounded. She got up very close and repeated, “I said that I can take the pizza.”He took the pizza out of the thermal bag and handed it to her. She turned around and we both watched her beautiful ass sashay off to the dining room.I said, “Sorry about that,” and handed him the signed receipt.“No problem. That’s a wonderful view.”“Thanks. I’ll let her know.”I let him back out into the rain, then headed to the dining room. Chrissy had just cracked open another beer. She said, “God, Zoë is right. That is so hot to expose yourself to some unknowing guy. I am so wet.”She put her fingers in her coochie and stuck them into my mouth. I closed my eyes and sucked. Pure ambrosia. My cock stiffened further and pressed against my trousers.Chrissy placed her hand on my budge, “I love doing that to you.”She gave me a tiptoe kiss.I said, “Well, let’s eat.”I put a slice on a plate and handed it to Chrissy“Thank you kind sir.”“You are most welcome.”I got a slice for me. “Remembering that this scenario is purely hypothetical, how would these friends reach continuous orgasms?”“Well, my hypothetical friend is actually a little bit of a slut.”“Oh. What does she enjoy?”“She loves to suck cock. She loves to take a man completely in her throat. She loves the taste of cum. Although that didn’t happen very often with her loveless marriage. She loves to fuck and fuck and then fuck some more. She really needs to be fucked right now.”“Oh. That sounds like a very interesting woman. What does her friend with shower benefits enjoy?”“Hypothetically, I heard he loves to eat coochie.”“Your hypothetical friends sound like the amorous types.”“Oh, they are. Like I said, she is coming from a loveless marriage and needs to be cuddled and kissed and licked and fucked. He has been lonely for too many years.”I finished my first piece of pizza and grabbed a second slice, “I see. So how would the shower benefits agreement change? Hypothetically of course.”“Well, I’m not sure. I’m thinking that it needs to be expanded to involve lots of fucking and of course more fucking.”“I think you are very drunk.”“I am so fucking drunk. How about if I give you a blow job? I love giving blow jobs.”“Let’s get some food in you.”“How about if you fuck me? I want you to fuck me. Please fuck me?”“Why don’t we sober you up?”“Why would we want to do that?I was lost in her eyes. "My dear Christina, will you do me a really big favor?”“I will my dear Quinn.”“Can we make that your last beer?”“I thought you would love to have me drunk so you could take advantage of me.”“I would never do that to you. Can I tell you a story? A story about Roz?”“Okay. Is it sad?”“Maybe in a way. She used to have a serious drinking problem. This was about fifteen, twenty years ago. She would down one, sometimes two bottles of wine a day. This one time she got horny as hell. Walking around the house naked. Sat on my lap, pushing her breasts into my face. I got into it. I took her upstairs, started eating her coochie. I thought I was getting her close to an orgasm and she started snoring on me. Roz was so damned drunk she fell asleep while I was trying to make love to her. Whenever she was drunk, I stopped trying. Her drinking went on for a long time after that. We eventually patched things up, but I would never try anything when she had been drinking. Can you see why I would love to have you sober this evening?”Chrissy stood up and kissed my lips. She strutted to the kitchen. She walked back empty handed, “I poured it down the sink. I hope you don’t mind garlic breath.”“I live for garlic breath.”“I’m really sorry. Please don’t hate me.”“I could never hate you.”“I’m pretty fucked up right now.”“Eat some pizza.”She came over next to me, “Can you move your chair out a little so I can sit on you?”I slid my chair out and Chrissy threw her leg over so that she sat on my lap facing me; her hands behind my neck. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I promise I will never do that to you. Well, I promise once I get sober. Right now I am wet for you.”“Chrissy, I am not going to take advantage of you.”She kissed me, “Quinn, please. I really need you to fuck me hard and then fuck me some more.”“Chrissy..”She pressed her mouth against mine, probing with her tongue. “Let me at least suck your cock.”“Chrissy, I want you to sober up first.”“Just my fucking luck! I fall in love with a goddamn gentleman!”“Here, let’s get some food in you to absorb some of the alcohol.”Tears started to flow. “Quinn, you have no idea how much I fucking love you.”“Yes, I do.”“Okay, you do, but I need you. I need you to make me cum. All I keep thinking about is when you made me cum. Please, make me cum?”“All in due time.”“Fuck! You’re impossible.”She stood up and staggered backward.I grabbed her arm and steadied her. “I’ll tell you what. Let me take you up to my bed and I’ll snuggle with you. When you’re sober, I’ll make you cum.”“Okay. That’s a deal!”I led her up the stairs.At the top Chrissy gagged, “I’m gonna puke.”She ran to the toilet and I found her on her knees, retching. I pulled her hair back out of the way and knelt behind her.After several minutes she mumbled, “God, I feel like an ass.”“Here, let me help you up.”I got her to her feet and led her to the sink where I wiped her face. I had her drink some water to help with hydration. “Let’s get you into bed.”“Will you fuck me?”“Eventually, but not now.”I got her under the covers, then stripped and got in behind her. I spooned her with one hand under her head, and one on her hip. I pressed my erection against her ass crack.“That feels so nice. You promise you’ll fuck me?”“I promise when you are sobered up."Quinn, why are you so nice to me?”“Because I love you Chrissy”“I love you too.”In moments she was asleep.Chapter 15.When I was awakened by my clock radio at 7:30, I heard some heavy breathing. Chrissy was lying next to me on her stomach. She had thrown off the covers and her lovely ass was in plain view. I thought, she’ll have a hangover. I slipped out of bed and turned off the radio, figuring that sleep would be best for her. I went downstairs and made coffee while I red the news. The rain had passed and it promised to be a nice day.About half past eight, I went up with a mug of coffee the way she likes it with two maximum strength headache pills. I also brought up a bottle of Gatorade. I set everything on the night stand and gently kissed the side of her face. She moaned.I sat down on the bed next to her and rubbed her back and ass. “Good morning, beautiful. How are you feeling?”She moaned again. I continued rubbing. Finally, she rolled onto her side and looked at me through slitted eyelids.I grabbed the Gatorade and pills. “Here sit up. Maximum strength headache medicine.”She did as I bid, put the pills in her mouth, and shallowed some drink. “I probably look like hell.”“Yes, but a very beautiful hell.”“Did we make love last night?”“No, you had a few too many beers and I wasn’t going to take advantage of you.”She swung her legs so that she was sitting next to me, “Was I an embarrassment?”“No, but you wanted to renegotiate our agreement. If my memory serves, you wanted me to ‘fuck your lights out.’ When you were close to passing out, I brought you up and just snuggled with you. You fell asleep almost immediately.”“You are scholar and a gentleman. Any idea where my phone is?”“Probably down in your clothes. Want me to get it for you?”“If you don’t mind. I should take a shower to see if that helps. My head is killing me.”“Drink some Gatorade. That may help rehydrate you. There’s also some coffee.”I went down and retrieved her phone. She was just getting ready to climb in the shower.She opened up the phone, “Zoë wants to go hiking with Asha and Wendy. Want to go?”“Do you? You’re the one with the hangover.”“I would probably do me good. I’ll let her know. Want to come?”“Sure. It’s going to be a really nice day.”I got dressed and made us a nice breakfast of bacon and eggs. Chrissy came down in my robe and was pretty quiet for most of the meal.Eventually, she broke the silence. “So what did we negotiate last night? I can’t remember much.”“Let’s see. I distinctly remembering that you agreed to be my sex slave for life.”She slapped my arm. “I did not.”“Oh, you did. You were going to live here naked and be at my beck and call 24/7, fucking and sucking.”“No, seriously.”“You hinted at a new agreement. I didn’t take it seriously. I mentioned that this is most likely your last kid-less weekend. You thought that we should go on a date tonight.”“Oh, that sounds nice. Where are we going?”“I suggested that new Asian restaurant.”“Oh, I like that.”I asked, “Do you remember anything else from last night?”“I remember making you jump went you were playing your guitar.”“Do you remember the pizza guy?

Summary of the Passage (Matthew 5:27-32): In this passage, Jesus addresses the seventh commandment, “you shall not commit adultery,” and ties it into lust. His words cut like a double-edged sword as He tells us that looking at someone with lust is the equivalence of committing adultery and that we should sacrifice sinful parts of ourselves lest our whole selves be subject to damnation. This section ends with Jesus' counter-cultural message in Biblical times and today's world: divorce is acceptable before God only in cases of sexual immorality and minimal other exceptions stated later by Paul. Discussion Questions: 1. Verse 27-28: Lusting and our Trust in God - Why do you think Jesus says that anyone who has looked at somebody else with “lustful intent,” has already committed adultery? How do our thoughts and behaviors expose what we truly believe in our hearts about God and His creation? 2. Verses 22-30: Counting the Cost of Following Christ - Jesus' words are severe when He tells us to sever our body parts so that the whole body may be holy before the Lord: why is Jesus so convicted of this point? Why do you think we are not as passionate about crucifying our flesh and our sin to follow Jesus? 3. Verses 31-32: Divorce and Jesus as the Bridegroom - What does Jesus' teaching on divorce tell you about how God values marriage? How does this teaching over divorce play into the Gospel overall? *Refer to other Scripture to see how God views and describes marriage (Genesis 2:18-24, Exodus 20:14, Matthew 19:1-9, Ephesians 5:22-33). 4. Time of Confession - Confess the sins discussed in this passage or other areas of life that may bring deep shame and embarrassment before your life group full of COMMUNITY who care about you. Pray Romans 8:38-39 over each other.

We can measure our lives by what we're denied or supplied; but a life measured by what it's missing is hollow, while a life measured by what it's filled with is rich. From August 25, 2024 

Time for the Triple Play! Today is fill in the blank Friday. Here are the questions:  THE NON PATRIOT PLAYER I AM MOST INTERESTED IN THIS YEAR IS____ IF THE US TEAM LOSES TO FRANCE, MY REACTION WOULD BE ___ NOBODY ASKED ME BUT I THINK THE NEXT ACT TO PLAY FENWAY PARK SHOULD BE ____

This week we are joined by retired Game Warden Tim Flanigan. His new book, Night Killers: Blood Lusting Poachers (I removed the word that) tells the story of his career operating in the dark of night chasing night hunters. The poaching activity where outlaws utilize bright lights to aid in the unethical harvest of deer goes by many names such as shining, spotlighting, and jacklighting to name a few, and it occurs wherever whitetails live. His stories are shocking to say the least – from the blatant disregard with wounding animals to flagrantly threatening the wardens life, which was in clear danger more times than we could count.  We explore why some folks fear “Mr. Green Jeans” and we try to understand why poaching even has an appeal to some. By the end of the recording you will have been amazed at what this man went through to protect wildlife in his home state of Pennsylvania. Listen, Learn and Enjoy.         Show Notes:   Buy the book - https://www.amazon.com/Night-Killers-Blood-Lusting-Poachers/dp/B0D7QDT85X  Enter for your chance to win your very own LS MT225s Compact Tractor and accessories. Learn more and sign up at: mossyoakgamekeeper.com/giveawaySupport the Show.Stay connected with GameKeepers: Enter the Gamekeeper LS Tractor Giveaway!: https://mossyoakgamekeeper.com/gamekeeper-ls-tractor-giveaway/ Instagram: @mossyoakgamekeepers Facebook: @GameKeepers Twitter: @MOGameKeepers YouTube: @MossyOakGameKeepers Website: https://mossyoakgamekeeper.com/ Subscribe to Gamekeepers Magazine: https://bit.ly/GK_Magazine Buy a Single Issue of Gamekeepers Magazine: https://bit.ly/GK_Single_Issue Join our Newsletters: Field Notes - https://bit.ly/GKField_Notes | The Branch - https://bit.ly/the_branch Have a question for us or a podcast idea? Email us at gamekeepers@mossyoak.com

Greek Food, Buzz-kills, & SatyrsBy Quinn_McMullen, in 8 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels. Chapter 13On Tuesday morning I had the following text exchange:Christina: Are you going to FY Convocation?Quinn: Yes. You?Christina: Can I sit with you?Quinn: Absolutely. Meet at my office at 11:15.Full-time faculty are required to attend three formal events per year: the commencement ceremonies in December and May, and the First Year Convocation at the start of the academic year. We have to wear our academic regalia, or as many faculty members call them,  our wizard robes,  because we look like something out of Harry Potter.As we were walking into the convocation, Chris was behind me, ensuring she would sit next to me.Francesca was slightly ahead of me in the next column, "Quinn, how was your summer?""It was nice and quiet.""Ready to start playing again?'"Just let me know when?""Maybe next week some time. I'll send out a poll for best times.""I'll look for it.""Can we use your barn to rehearse again?""Sure.As we started to file into the seats, Chris grabbed my arm and Zoë was suddenly next to me. I let her go in first. I was blessed to have my lovers on either side of me. We filed in and luckily we had seats out of the sun. I figured if the convocation went for more than ninety minutes we would be in direct sunlight. Black polyester wizard robes plus direct sunlight would mean sun-dried professors in short order.Zoë leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I imagine if everyone knew what has gone on between us."I passed the message to Chris who reached for my hand and hid it under the material.She whispered back, "They'd be scandalized."I smiled, "By the way, I love the way your hair smells."I whispered to Zoë what Chris had said and she in turn held my hand under the robes. Without a doubt, it was the best convocation I had ever been to.Wednesday morning dawned crystal clear. Overnight we had some rain showers and the temperatures could only be described as refreshing. Chris had said she wanted to run, so I was in the barn, getting my bicycle down, when she drove up.Chris got out and leaned against her car door, "Have I told you that you look good in bike shorts.""I think you have, but I don't mind hearing it again."She closed the door and revealed that she was wearing a pair of skin-tight, yellow Lyrica running shorts, her mons and pubes providing topography to the fabric.I remarked, "Speaking of looking good in shorts. You are looking good Dr. Ashby.""Do you like them? I bought them especially for you.""I love them. I may have to ride behind you so I can admire the view.""As long as you have my water, you can ride wherever you want. The neighbors might think you're a dirty old man though.""Good point."Chris stretched in the drive since the grass was wet. Soon she was running and I was practicing my bicycle domestique duties. As we were entering my drive after the run Chris got a charley horse in her calf.I put her arm over my shoulder to take off some of the weight. "Let's get you inside and I'll rub it out.""Damn this hurts."I helped her to the couch and had her lay down. She had a large knot in her right calf and I gently massaged it. Her groan was part pain, part relief.I started talking to fill the silence, "My college roommate was a runner. He was big on bananas for the potassium. Want one?""Sure."I came back with a banana and a bottle of Gatorade. "This may help with your electrolytes.""Thanks. When you get the knot out, would you mind massaging the rest of my legs?""Would I mind massaging a beautiful woman's legs? Gee, there's a difficult question to answer.""You're impossible."I began working her muscles starting with her feet. The groans started almost immediately. I worked first her right, then her left leg. Chris spread her legs as much as the couch would allow as I worked up to her crotch. I made sure to make contact with the fabric stretched across her vulva as often as possible. I jokingly apologized each time. Then I began on her glutes. I massaged them hard, but was again in teasing mode,  making contact with her fabric-covered anus on several occasions.Chris groaned again, "All this is making me wet."I placed my hand over her crotch. "Yes, I think I can detect some moisture.""I think in the future, a massage will be part of any showering event. Next time I'll get naked first.""I like that idea.""Right now I think you need to lead me up to your shower and clean me really good.""It will be my pleasure.""Mine too." When my class let out on Wednesday, I headed straight to my date with Violet. Her apartment was easy to find and I was knocking on her door two minutes early.She answered it and looked surprised.I said, "Hi. What's the matter?""I've never had a guy come to my door before. Usually, they just send me a text that they're here.""I'm old school. I'll even hold the door for you.""That's so sweet."She gave me a peck on the cheek and we headed to my car. As promised, I opened the door for her. As she was getting in I was again struck by her waist-length black hair. She wore a sundress that had some kind of mustard floral pattern, a stunning match for her raven locks.When I got in, Violet gave me a nice smile, "I know my generation gives your generation a lot of shit, but I kind of enjoy this chivalry stuff."Looking at her I was struck again by her hazel eyes. They were simply enchanting.I smiled, "I don't know if I would call it chivalry. That's the way my father taught me how to treat a lady.""Well, it is very nice. I know some women might object, but I enjoy it.""So where are we going for dinner?""I thought I would give you two choices. We have a nice Italian restaurant and a new Greek place that I have heard really good things about.""They both sound great. Do you have a preference?""I've never had Greek food.""Are you feeling adventurous?""Yeah.""Then Greek it is." As we were driving I was hoping we wouldn't need reservations. Wednesdays usually weren't busy days in the restaurant world. Luckily, my hunch was correct and the hostess found us a very nice table on the patio overlooking the river.Opening the menu, Violet looked a little overwhelmed. "I'm not sure what I should get.""Is there anything you don't like?""I'm not a fan of avocados, but that's probably not an issue here."The waitress came over, "Can I get you anything to start?" She had a bit of an accent."Violet, would you like anything to drink?""A glass of chardonnay, please."The waitress nodded, "And you sir?""I think I'll have the same thing. Could we have an order of these Turkish Cigars?""I'll put that in and be back to with your wine.""Efharisto.""Parakalo."Violet smiled, "You speak Greek?""You just heard most of it.""That's funny," She read the menu, "Spinach and feta wrapped in phyllo dough then lightly fried. That sounds good.""I remember eating something like that when I was in Souda Bay, Crete."The waitress returned with two glasses of wine. "Have you had a chance to decide on an entrée?"I smiled, "Sorry, we were talking. Please give us a couple more minutes."Violet was studying the menu. "Is there anything you would recommend?""Greek food is known for lamb. Anything with it is bound to be good. I've had kuzu makarna and sarma before."Violet read aloud, "Grilled lamb tossed with linguini. I'll stop right there. That sounds wonderful."I picked up my wine glass, "Well, here's to a wonderful research assistant. Thank you so much for your help."We clinked glasses, "Here's to working with a real gentleman."The waitress returned with the appetizer. "Are you ready to order?"Violet pointed at the menu, "I would like the kuzu...""Kuzu makarna. Very good and sir?""I would like the sarma. Oh, wait I see you have souvlaki. I think I'll have that.""Very well. I'll put your order in."Violet speared a cigar and placed it on her plate.

Today, herstory is made. Sub-Radio lead singer (and bisexual king) Adam Bradley makes his Gay Ass Debut. In 2022, Adam and the band took over the internet with "Stacy's Dad," a cover of our favorite song from 2003. Lusting over hot dads? Come on gay ass pod, babe. We also discuss:-Troy and Gabriella-coming out late-a cappella-how Sub-Radio landed the biggest producer in pop punkplus we ask, "who's your favorite slutty pop star?"**********************************************************************See That's A Gay Ass Live Show for NEW YORK PRIDE! Click here to buy: https://www.seetickets.us/event/thats-a-gay-ass-live-show/605306Gay Ass Sex Diaries: patreon.com/gayasspodcastGay Ass Merch: www.gayasspodcast.comFollow Sub-Radio on Instagram (@subradioband), TikTok (@subradioband), and go see them on tour! https://linktr.ee/subradiobandFollow Eric (@ericwillz) and Gay Ass Podcast (@gayasspodcast) and tag us if you liked!Bi bi bi :)Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/thats-a-gay-ass-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

https://youtu.be/SM7zNoTp8D8?si=MXxyOgxIRblmGmZA The Promise - 4 - Purity WelcomeGoal – Save future & current marriages… Bless your relationships with Godly wisdom.   The Promise Title Sin ruins marriages.Adultery, pornography, unforgiveness, secrets, coveting other things. Not yet married crowd… do not wait until you are married to work on your secret sin issues. Sin is not a foundation you want to build anything upon. Genesis 2:24-25 (NIV) 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. SHAME: Bûwsh - to be ashamed; to become pale. This is bad.Not the playful “oh you are so bad.” Shame means PALE as in the blood/life force drains from your countenance. In Genesis 2 Adam & Eve felt NO SHAME. But the serpent came… Adam and Eve disobeyed God and the they felt… shame. Genesis 3:7-10 (NIV) Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. 8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” 10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” Shame causes us to retreat and hide. Kids – Did you eat a cookie? Cause a mess?  -> Hide Adults – Did you cause a mess? -> Hide Shame happens when we connect a bad action to our identity. I did bad… I am bad. We become the thing we did. We hide because of shame. What does it look like to hide in a marriage… Working late again. I am headed to bed early. I think I am going to hang out with the boys/girls again tonight. I don't need to talk about it. Don't check my phone. Spending habits. I have a secret… Secrecy is the Enemy of Intimacy Want a deep relationship, get rid of shallow secrets. Bare all before one another… Get Naked Promise #4I promise to CONFIDE, not HIDE. If secrecy is the enemy of intimacy… I choose… Honesty, confession, righteousness, honor I choose light over darkness. Ephesians 5:8-10 (NIV) 8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. What is the darkness in your life? Movie theater… Darkness… Eyes adjust to darkness… Have your eyes adjusted to darkness?Or are you a Child of Light? Do you say that some sins are not a big deal? Ephesians 5:3 (NIV) 3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity… Not even a hint… redraw the line. Hopping in bed…  LOOKS AND THOUGHTS. Jesus redrew the line of adultery… Matthew 5:28 (NIV) 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Redraw the lines.Confide, don't hide. No more… Lusting after anyone that is not your spouse. Fantasy – thoughts and emotions. Secret desires. Hebrews 13:4 (NIV) 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Would you ever wear dirty boots to bed?Would you go straight from the sweaty gym to bed? NO! You don't want to rest in filth. Clean your bed Do not allow anger in your bed… Unforgiveness… Passive aggressive undertones… silence… Secrets… Unaddressed issues… How do we live a life of purity? Proverbs 28:13 (NIV) Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Promise #4I promise to CONFIDE, not HIDE. Confession to God brings intimacy.Openness to your spouse brings intimacy. STOP HIDING!Turn from sin.Turn toward God. Future shame exercise (Close your eyes)

This episode is part of a special series featuring talks on spiritual formation from the Institute for Spiritual Formation at Talbot School of Theology. The specific lecture is titled “Beyond Pornography” by Dallas Willard. Willard uses pornography as a test case to explore the nature of spiritual formation and being formed into the likeness of Jesus. Willard also considers the role of desire and how it can bind the will and obsess the mind. He then goes on to emphasize the importance of having the right vision, intention, and means to bring about personal change and transformation (Willard's VIM paradigm). In this talk, Willard discusses the vision and intention behind pornographic use and how it can be transformed. Willard also explores the role of desire and willpower in overcoming addiction, highlighting the need for a right view of God and His world. He suggests practical means to break free from pornography, such as openness to others, resolute avoidance of tempting situations, and engaging in spiritual disciplines. Willard concludes by emphasizing the process of spiritual transformation and the role of grace and effort in the journey.There was a handout that went along with this talk that I have reproduced here: Beyond Pornography:Spiritual Formation Studied in a Particular CaseI decided to discuss the use of pornography [(porne = prostitute) + graphy = drawing)] because (1) it presents us with a peculiarly vivid case of spiritual formation and possible spiritual transformation, and (2) it is such a widespread problem for people today, and also among Christians and those in ministry – and a problem which generates a lot of hopelessness in those involved.What is pornography? It consists of writings, drawings, images and pictures for use in arousing sexual desire, and frequently in stimulating the body to achieve sexual discharge or release. It is on a continuum with viewing actual people around you in order to stimulate, foster and cultivate lust, which Jesus warned against in Matt. 5:28. The production of pornography and its use involves the degradation of human beings and cannot be an act of love, which wills the good of all involved.The use of pornography is rooted in the fundamental role of desire in human life. Desire, on the biblical understanding, is not in itself bad, but it is dangerous because it has the tendency to take over one's life. Desire must be subordinated to what is good, and it is the role of the will to see to it that it is subordinated to what is good. But the will can do this only if it understands what is good and is strongly oriented toward it. This is definitely not the case with those unaligned with God. In them the will falls captive to desire: they live to do what they want. Their condition is repeatedly addressed in the scriptures.The general condition of fallen humanity is carefully laid out by Paul in Ephesians 4:17-19 and Romans 7:15-23. The will is, in the fallen personality, enslaved by desire, and so “I am doing the very thing I hate” (vs. 15). This is the precise picture of the person in some degree of bondage to pornography.We really must pay attention to desire (“lust,” “longing,” epithumia) if we are to understand spiritual formation. The primary role of desire in human life is to impel us to action. If action were solely under the direction of thought, we would never survive infancy, and life would be an intolerable burden in which much that is good would not be realized. Lusting itself gives pleasure, because it thrusts us in a direction and makes us feel alive. We are “moved,” hence we speak of “passion.” Thus we get pleasure from desiring itself, and desire to desire. The gratification of desire gives us a sense of completeness and power – for a moment or so. A depressed person is typically one who has little or no desire and “doesn't want any thing.”Thus we do many things just to excite desire. Flirting (of various kinds) and titillation are major parts of life in fallen humanity. Temptation to sin is exciting because it plays with desire. Sports provide interesting cases where one chooses to desire things of no significance whatsoever: crossing a line with a funny shaped “ball” in your hand, or seeing someone else do it, for example. Drugs, food, work, and violence also brings feelings that give a sense of being alive. Pornography is only one of many ways in which the will can be enslaved. It can be enslaved to getting what one wants, looking good, or dominating others. Many are enslaved to simple rebelliousness: the will enslaved by the will. Thus John says that there are three things that are in the world: The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life.” (1 John 2:16)Now you may know of my “VIM” formula for personal and spiritual growth. (See chapter 5 of Renovation of the Heart.) That is, spiritual transformation into Christlikeness results from getting the right Vision of reality and goodness, the right Intention and decision (to actually become like Christ), and adequate Means to carry out the intention. In fact, however, everyone has had a spiritual formation – including those involved with pornography, or gluttony, or… – and it incorporates a VIM. “VIM” is the key to understanding whatever condition one is in. What is the “VIM” of the person engaging with pornography?Involvement with pornography is not an ultimate, undefinable fact that simply falls upon a person and there it is. It is rooted in a VIM. If you want to get out of such involvement, you work on replacing the VIM that put you there and holds you there with a godly VIM oriented to what is good to desire. That is something you can do. God will help you, but he will not to it for you.So what is the “V” of pornography use? It is a vision of women (for simplicity sake) as something to be used to stimulate and/or gratify sexual feeling and desire. That is what they are here for. Usually this is accompanied by contempt for women, which makes it easier to treat them as “sex objects.” In most cases this will be accompanied by a vision of one's own body as a source of and means to pleasure. It may be that this is prior in time, in child development, to the pornographic view of women. These foundations of pornographic involvement easily develop further into various forms of perversion, as one pursues sexual stimulation and satisfaction. This prurient “V” must be replaced by a vision of women and of oneself as creatures of God for his blessing, walking the hard path of life where they suffer afflictions and death, but headed for an eternity with God or under God. A similar change has to be made in the vision of oneself.The pornographic “I” is the intent and decision to use sexual sensuality as a major source of gratification. Often this is supported by the view of oneself as deprived or hopelessly burdened. In fact, it is rooted in a Vision of God and of God's world as a place of bitter disappointment where humans must “go for” what is available and somehow endure the rest. Thus the wrong vision of God lies at the foundation of pornographic practice. Needless to say, a right view of God and God's world would of itself break the grip of a life of sexual sensuality. The work to be done here should be obvious: the transforming of the mind by the truth about God and his world. But one also has to come to grips with the fact that they do intend and decide to use pornography (food, violence, whatever). Then the intention and decision not to use it must be formed. That will not be possible until the Vision element is transformed along the lines suggested. But then the correct intention and decision can be formed. It is possible to deceive oneself about what one really does intend, so one must be very careful and searching and honest in dealing with what one does and does not intend: what they have and have not decided to do. The fact is that people engaged with the use of pornography have decided to be there and have not decided not to be there. But “will power” alone will not solve the problem. The Vision must be right and appropriate Means will have to be employed to extricate oneself from pornographic use.Now among the primary Means to deliverance is taking care to see pornography in all of its dimensions for what it really is. For many people, just to see the terrible degradation of others and oneself involved in pornography will strongly bolster their will to have no involvement with it. This is important. It is an application of the general truth that temptation of all kinds is defeated by “broadening the view” and looking at the solicitation in the larger context of life and of God. Desire overpowers the will primarily by obsessing the mind. What many think they experience as inevitability depends entirely upon their failures to see things as they really are. Will (human “spirit”) in its very nature seeks alternatives and the best of alternatives. But when the person has conceded desire the right to rule, desire blinds the mind and appears to give the will no alternatives. (I have got to have that donut, see that picture, etc.)But other Means must be employed in most cases. Two of the most useful are: openness to others and resolute avoidance of situations in which pornography can be indulged. As for openness, this may involve confession (to appropriate persons in appropriate ways), sharing with others in the same difficulty, a “buddy” (accountability) system with a small group of others (not all necessarily in the same difficulty) that allows you to meet and discuss regularly and to call on others for prayer and support in the hard times. Another measure that can be taken here is to kneel down publicly and pray out loud for deliverance from your temptation. Perhaps “in church.” (St. Benedict threw himself into a briar patch upon the occasion of salacious thoughts, and it seems to have done wonders for him.) Now at this point one might say: Are you serious? My answer would be: Are you?With respect to “resolute avoidance,” make sure that pornography is not within your reach. Get rid of it, and when tempted to replace it resort to the helps mentioned in the previous paragraph. Someone will say: “I just can't do that.” But anyone who says that has not decided to break the involvement or still has the poisonous vision or probably both. You cannot do the work at the “Means” level that must be done at the “Vision” and the “Intention” level. And if you do not do the prior works, Means will certainly fail to help you. Of course you can get rid of pornography, and you can avoid replacing it. It's not like fighting gravity. You are in a process of breaking habits that possess all dimensions of your being: will, thought, feeling, social context and soul. It will impose some serious difficulties. But you can do it, and you will be aided if you are practicing a sensible schedule of spiritual disciplines – solitude, silence, study, fasting, worship, etc. – that are not focused upon the avoidance of pornography, but upon the healthy fulfillment of your life under God in the dramatic goodness of God's world with others you love and serve. Pornography involvement is a sure indicator of the impoverishment of life. (Remember Philippians 4:8.)Jesus promised that “whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall become a well of water springing up to eternal life.” (John 4:14; cp. 6:35) By “thirst” I believe he refers to unsatisfied desire and its ravages upon people, such as the poor woman by the well to whom he spoke. With reference to pornography or other enslaving fascinations, we are not talking about repressing desire or denying its reality. We are talking here about not having the desire. The person who would change must desire to not have the desires they now have, and be willing to do the things on the VIM pattern that will eliminate the desire or render it of no influence. Although there may well be cases where medical treatment, specialized counseling, or deliverance ministries are required, most people involved with the use of pornography have not come to the place where they desire not to desire it. For whatever reasons, they think it is too important to them and that they would be “missing out” if they did not have the desire for it. That concession traps them into continued use.Anyone who follows the path of VIM outlined above will receive Divine and other assistance to step out of involvement with pornography. What that means is that when something like the occasion to indulge in pornography presents itself to them, their first thought will be: Why would anyone want to be involved with that?What we have said here in relation to pornography can be generalized, with appropriate modifications, to apply to all issues of spiritual transformation into Christlikeness, both negative and positive. The field of Christian Spiritual Formation is an area of reality that lends itself to knowledge and to practice governed by knowledge. One certainly understands this from reading the Bible, and especially passages such as Colossians 3 and 2 Peter 1:2-11. That field is a field of play for grace, the actions of the Holy Spirit, and all of the instrumentalities of the Kingdom of God. But it also requires well-directed effort on the part of human beings. “Add to your faith virtue, and to your virtue knowledge…” (2 Peter 1:5).Dallas WillardUniversity of Southern California Get full access to Kyle's Formation Substack at kylestrobel.substack.com/subscribe

Robert Lustig, MD joins James for this information-packed episode that unifies mental and metabolic healthcare. Dr. Lustig is a pediatric endocrinologist and food educator, who focuses on spreading awareness about the topic of this podcast. During this episode he walks through the connection between nutrition, brain health, and mental health. They touch on topics such as the impact of ultra-processed food on metabolic health, the role of the amygdala in fear conditioning and chronic toxic stress, and the importance of the vagus nerve in regulating the nervous system. Dr. Lustig also highlights the need for public education and policy change to address the systemic health crisis and mental health crisis. Dr. Lustig will be speaking at the Integrative Medicine for Mental Health Conference in October 2024. Check out this informative, empowering episode to hear about: Dr. Lusting's new book on the amygdala and its connection to food. The importance of understanding the difference between food science, nutrition and metabolic health. The role of mitochondrial dysfunction in systemic and mental health disorders. The potential for a cultural shift toward prioritizing metabolic health and the challenges facing it. 

Sometimes we think "bigger" is the answer to our growth problem. It is not. For this episode, I expose my heart's desire to 'Go big or go home' and share what the Lord's been teaching me as of late...

Welcome to the Midnight Movie House's first movie discussion episode! We talk about the prequel to X, Pearl.  Trapped on an isolated farm, Pearl must tend to her ailing father under the watch of her domineering mother. Lusting for the glamorous life she's seen in movies, Pearl's temptations and repressions collide. TimecodesCalabrese Jones & Jeff Settle In: 0:00Pearl Discussion: 6:02Pearl Final Thoughts: 50:03Rating: 1:02:24Tops & Bottoms: 1:05:38LINKS:Instagram / TikTokJoin the Patreon!Shop MerchUgly CowboyCall the Hot Take Hotline:916-538-4412

A new MP3 sermon from Reformation Bible Church is now available on SermonAudio with the following details: Title: Lusting After Evil Things Subtitle: Exodus & Numbers Speaker: Adam Eshleman Broadcaster: Reformation Bible Church Event: Sunday - PM Date: 3/24/2024 Bible: Numbers 11:4-35 Length: 42 min.

After a series of unfortunate events and technical mishaps, the Strangers are back! For good this time, we promise!This week we get right into it with our thoughts on Ti West's followup to X,  2022's Pearl! "Pearl" is now streaming on Hulu and Paramount+!Trapped on an isolated farm, Pearl must tend to her ailing father under the watch of her mother. Lusting for the glamorous life she's seen in movies, Pearl's temptations and repressions collide.Follow all of our relevant links here: https://linktr.ee/satellite12

When Jessi Hempel came out of the closet she had no idea her whole church-going family had been hiding in there with her. And things got complicated fast when the closet door kept swinging open.  Jessi Hempel is author of The Family Outing: A Memoir. She is also host of the award-winning podcast Hello Monday, and a senior editor-at-large at LinkedIn. Her features and cover stories have appeared in Wired, Fortune, and TIME. She has appeared on CNN, PBS, MSNBC, Fox, and CNBC, addressing the culture and business of technology. Hempel is a graduate of Brown University and received a master's in journalism from UC Berkeley. She lives in Brooklyn with her wife and children. REFERENCES Jessi Hempel, "My Brother's Pregnancy and the Making of a New American Family," TIME (Sept. 12, 2016).   Transcript   JESSI HEMPEL: I started reading the section about homosexuality and I was like, "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!" Then I thought, "Oh my goodness, they're gonna come home and see me reading it and they're gonna know." Now I'm, you know, fourteen or fifteen years old. I was so nervous they would discover what I was researching, that I was reading for personal gain, that I was trying to figure something out. So, I immediately turned to the section on menopause because I think, "Well then they'll just think I'm reading for curiosity because there's no way I'm going through menopause." BLAIR HODGES: Jessi Hempel wasn't going through menopause. She was figuring out she was gay in the late 80s in a family where that wasn't particularly safe. She could keep it hidden for a while, but she knew that someday it wouldn't be a secret anymore, and she was afraid. So, Jessi managed to stretch the secret out. Then one day, her sister discovers something on their father's computer that will turn the whole family on its head. There was more than one secret closet in this family, and the closet doors would swing open again and again. In this episode, Jessi joins us to talk about her incredible memoir, The Family Outing. There's no one right way to be a family, and every kind of family has something we can learn from. I'm Blair Hodges, and this is Family Proclamations.   THE FAMILY LEAST LIKELY TO KEEP IN TOUCH (1:38)   BLAIR HODGES: Jessi Hempel, welcome to Family Proclamations. JESSI HEMPEL: Well, thank you so much for having me, Blair. I love what you're doing with the show. BLAIR HODGES: I'm excited to talk to you about this book, The Family Outing. You're a professional writer, you didn't just write a book because of your amazing experiences. You also have technical skills with this, so people might not think twice about the fact that you've published a book. But I do think this particular book is sort of surprising if we look at your other professional stuff. Like your career focuses on tech reporting, and this is a really personal memoir. Talk about what it was like to kind of transition to a different mode of writing to get this book done. JESSI HEMPEL: You're very correct, Blair. For the first 25 years of my life as a writer—and that's a lot of years, by the way, I had been writing for a long time—I thought that if I ever wrote a book it would be about technology, artificial intelligence, or the rise of social networks, or any of the myriad things I geeked out on related to business and tech. I had spent my entire career until that point writing for magazines like Business Week, and Fortune, and Wired about the kinds of things that kept me up at night, which were and are things having to do with things like the evolution of new technology. And that was my identity. And I start there, Blair, because I think what happened to me actually happened to a lot of people. In March of 2020—and I should start by saying, if you just say “March of 2020” most people get this dour look on their face, right? Yeah, we can all think about where we might have been. And for me, I was living in Brooklyn, New York. And I was this technology writer, and I was a fairly new parent, my wife and I had a baby, he had just turned a year old, and I had a real strong sense of my identity, right? I traveled all the time, I was out in the world, career focused. And then overnight all of that changed. My job was thankfully safe, but there was a question as to whether it would continue. And suddenly, there was no traveling. In fact, there was no office to go to. There was no daycare, which meant that I was home with my child all day. And New York was a particularly scary place to be. My wife and I finally got to a point where we said we gotta get out of here. Bear with me, because this does have to do with the book. I know, Blair, right here that you're like, this not the question that I asked. [laughter] BLAIR HODGES: I'm following, I'm following! JESSI HEMPEL: Okay! So, my wife and I put the baby and the dog in the back of the Subaru—because those are the lesbians that we are—and we hit the gas and started driving south. Her parents lived in Tupelo, Mississippi, and we drove all the way to their house, which was 18 hours. And when we got there, we thought we'd stay for 10 days, and—you know where the story is going—we stayed for months. Those first couple of weeks that I was living in my wife's childhood bedroom, you know, I did the things that we did at the very beginning of the pandemic. Like I got Zoom-crazy, right? I did Zoom happy hours and Zoom yoga and I Zoomed with friends I hadn't talked to in a while. And then very quickly, I just grew so tired of Zoom and really tired of talking to anyone. I was depressed. I was super down. And while I was so down, I discovered that there were just a few people I wanted to talk to. And I wanted to talk to them every single day. And that was my brother, my sister, and my mom, and my dad. And I thought that was pretty wild because if you had known us in our youth you would have voted us the family least likely to keep in touch with each other. We were just a hot mess, right? But here we were in the middle of this global emergency, and these were the people I was reaching for. And we were quarantining in five different houses in four different states. And we were texting and in touch with each other every day. So all that was going on, Blair. Back in New York, I had this very commercial literary agent who kept calling me and saying, "Jessi, now is a great time to write a book." And I would say, "Have you seen my life? There is nothing great about this moment. I'm kind of busy trying to keep my head above water. It's not a good time.” And she kept saying, “No, no, this is a great time. There are not a lot of writers bringing books to market.” She was right about that. “And so if there was ever a moment when you had a real dream, like the dream project, this is the moment you could get that project done.” And so I said, "Okay, I'll think about it." And I came back to her, and I said, "Well, how about I write a tech book about the business of tech?" and she said, "Boring." She said, "Go back and bring me the book that you would be most afraid to write." So I thought about it. Then I came back to her. And I said, "Well, what if I interviewed everybody in my family and wrote the story of how we all came out? Because here's the thing, I think the reason why we like each other so much right now, and why we depend on each other so much emotionally, and why we are close, is because things were so hard and broken. And we all did this internal work of coming out. And that work—not only did it help us each to realize ourselves, but it helped us to realize something about each other.” And she said, "Perfect, we'll call it The Family Outing." And literally, from there I was writing the book.   FRAMING THE STORY (6:44)   BLAIR HODGES: And it was in the course of starting those interviews that you started to wrap your head around the story of your family, because the easy story to tell, which you say in the introduction is, we had this family, there was all this dysfunction, and then we all came out of the closet, and now we're all okay. And that's an interesting story in and of itself, but you weren't entirely satisfied with it. Why wasn't it satisfying when thought about framing your book and the story you wanted to tell? JESSI HEMPEL: I love that sort of overview of it, because that is how I kind of have been telling it my whole life and it was a great cocktail party story. Like, "Hey, I've got the gayest family. My family can out-gay your family. Listen to how gay we are. We all came out of the closet.” And I should say when I say that, Blair, I came out of the closet first. I came out at 19. Just straight up gay. I would even call myself a little bit of a boring gay. I'm very in the box, like, you know, fairly heteronormative in presentation, like, just discovered Ani DiFranco at 19 and was like, "Yeah, there we go." [laughter] Shortly after, my dad came out as gay, which forced him to leave his marriage. My sister came out as bisexual, my brother came out as transgender, and later went on to carry a child. And that whole process caused us to do a great deal of self-reflection. And my mother came out as a survivor of a series of crimes so heinous, I could really only learn about them in little bits over time. And all of this change happened over the course of three and a half, four years, a very short period of time. And while it was happening, I've got to say, it was terrible. It was terrible. And it was hard. And terrible and hard—once you get to the other side of them—forge character, right? And so what I was interested in was, I wanted to figure out not just what my version of the story was, but what every member of my family thought happened. I wanted to see if I could get to one common narrative that we all agreed upon, like, "Hey, here's what happened." So I kind of pitched the story to everybody. I was like, "Hey, you know what we could do is, I could interview you, we could do a whole lot of interviews, you could tell me your side of the story. I could figure out where they line up. And then I could just come up with one common narrative." And everybody agreed to it, which, God bless them that they all agreed to it because, especially for my parents, it was a huge leap of faith. They were essentially agreeing to allow me to air all my family's dirty laundry, and to live through that. BLAIR HODGES: Because for interviews they have to be involved with it, right? Like not just your parents telling you, but they have to dig— JESSI HEMPEL: Right. I mean, there was so much digging, and subsequently so much healing in the writing of the story. And I should say, by the way we're talking about it you would think this is like an encyclopedia about my family. But I also endeavored to write a beach read. I wanted to write something that would move so fast you would sit down and start to read it, and if it was a book that spoke to you—and I will say books are very personal, not every book speaks to every person—but if those books spoke to you, that you would sit down, open it, and want to finish it right away and just fly through it. But you know, when I started to try to get all of our stories to line up, the only thing I really learned, Blair, is that even when five people endeavor in good faith to tell one story, memory is really crappy. And people remember things differently and nobody could get the details right.   JESSI'S FATHER (10:17)   BLAIR HODGES: Part of your project, then, was to get a narrative thread that worked, but also that would be satisfactory and representative of the perspectives of your family. You were juggling a lot of different stories here. One of the most interesting for me was about your father. He was a young man in the 1970s. He was the son of a very religiously devout minister. And he's thinking about maybe entering the ministry himself. But things aren't really clicking, his mission work gets cut short, he finds himself in this meeting with a psychiatrist and a psychoanalyst, and he's listing off all these ways he feels lost in his life. And then he just tosses out, "Oh, also, I think I might be gay." Tell us a little bit more about your dad in this moment and what that must have been like for him to be a gay young man in the seventies from this devout family. JESSI HEMPEL: I mean, I think so much about this. Because if you had met my dad as a 10-year-old child, you would probably have identified him—especially in our contemporary culture, maybe not back then—but even from his youngest years, he was somebody who people probably identified as, "Oh, that kid's probably gonna grow up to be gay." He just had a manner about him. And I think that really scared his parents. My grandfather was a German Methodist minister who even felt like the Methodist Church wasn't quite strict enough. So he would bring his family for extra churching on Wednesdays to the Baptist church down the street. He really took his relationship with God seriously, and was somewhat panicked you know, he had three children, he had two daughters, and then he had this son, and in their family, I mean, everything was about the son. They just really wanted the son to accurately represent the family and take on the tradition, which was a religious tradition, whatever that was. And there was my dad, this young gay kid, and they became so worried about him being—I mean, they never used the word “gay.” Let me be really clear, Blair. But you know, even in middle school, they had a couple of experiences where—and this isn't in the book, but just from my dad talking to me, you know, his parents found him like trying on his big sisters' petticoats. And they just were concerned enough that they figured out how to get him into a rigorous Christian boys boarding school. And all that time, my dad knew in his heart that he was gay, or that he liked boys. I don't think he had a word for it. BLAIR HODGES: I think that's a really important point, too, that it wouldn't have been thought of in terms of an identity, but rather as sinful inclinations, or temptations he was supposed to fight. So it wouldn't have been, “Oh no, my son's gay.” It's, “Oh no, he's going to struggle with these temptations. How are we going to Christianize them out of him? How are we gonna fix that pathology?” One of those solutions then was to get married, like, "This'll fix it." JESSI HEMPEL: Super interesting, right? My father didn't really know what he wanted to do with his life. He's a very bright guy. He graduated top of his class at his Christian boarding school. He went off to Middlebury College and he got a scholarship. His family had no money. He finished Middlebury College a semester early and he had no career path, no idea what he wanted to do. He was kind of like, as bright as he was intellectually, he was kind of a dud socially. Couldn't figure out dating, couldn't figure out anything, and so his parents really kind of pushed him into the mission. And that seemed like a thing to do. His older sister had become a missionary. And by the way, it was a great lifestyle for her. It worked really, really well for her. She has continued this lifestyle for her entire life. I mean, she eventually got married and had children. But this lifestyle did not work for my dad. And here's where I have to give the Methodist Church some credit. It seems from what I could figure out—and again, I wasn't able to talk to any of these people personally—but just from reading diaries of my father and picking up stories and reading my grandfather's notes. You know, my grandfather pushed the Methodist ministry to invite my father into the mission. I think that they knew he didn't want to be a missionary, and they knew that he was a really lost kid, and that he needed some guidance. And so they finally said to him, "Look, we're just going to let you out of this commitment and we're also going to pay for counseling for you. So go get yourself settled somewhere. And we the church are then going to pick up therapy for you." And that's really cool. The other side of that was that when my father finally got himself settled somewhere, he went off to live with his sister for a couple months, he got a Christian therapist who listened to him and assured him when he mentioned that maybe he could be possibly, I mean, there's a potential that he could be gay—you know, mumbled the word, didn't even say it loudly—they said, "No, no, no, no,” you know, “a lot of young adolescent men feel this way during one stage of growth and adolescence, and you just need to get married. Just get married, that'll take care of it."   JESSI'S MOTHER (15:11)   BLAIR HODGES: And so then he does. He meets your mom. And your mother—you found out in the course of writing the book, and throughout your life, your mom had experienced some trauma around the time she met your dad. She was going through some things. So your dad's sort of trying to find his way, deciding to get married and this and that, and your mom was trying to figure out her future family life at this time, too. She was working at this department store. And she had a coworker there that she kind of had a crush on, who was actually revealed to be a friend, and maybe even an accomplice of a serial killer in Michigan. I didn't expect this in The Family Outing. Talk about that for a sec.   JESSI HEMPEL: In the late 60s, in Ypsilanti, Michigan, there was a man who preyed upon women in my mom's community. And it was still the early sixties you know, this was before the heyday of serial killers in our culture, back when that was still sort of a new idea. But women started disappearing, probably when my mom was in about ninth or tenth grade. And, you know, there would be women that my mom knew. It would be like the assistant art teacher at the high school, or the church deacon's secretary, and they'd be people that were about my mom's age and that looked a lot like my mom. And the town became increasingly fearful as these disappearances and subsequent murders happened at a cadence of like once a year, and then once every six months, and then moved into a cadence of happening quite frequently. And all of the men in town became volunteer neighborhood watch folks, including my grandfather, and all the young girls were put on curfews. And this was the backdrop against which my mom attempted to live her adolescence. I think it's probably true when anybody experiences something as persistently scary as that, you become immune to the fear, and you just have to live your life. And my mom did that. She worked at a department store downtown, and she developed a crush on a guy. And there was actually a moment when that guy scared the bejesus out of her in a way that suddenly— BLAIR HODGES: Yeah, he corners her in a back room. JESSI HEMPEL: And he throttles her throat, and he threatens her! And she was looking at him and she was trying to get him to stop. And then she realized, "Oh, my goodness, I actually don't know anything about this man." And then he lets go. And he's like, "I'm only joking. But, like, what would you do if I were the killer?" And my mom goes home with this information. She's trying to process it. And she doesn't even have time to process it because that's when this man and his best friend are arrested for the murders. And he later gets off in exchange for testifying against his best friend. BLAIR HODGES: Right, which is kind of sketchy because he could have been more involved. But he's the one who talked to the cops, basically. JESSI HEMPEL: That's exactly right. And most people in Ypsilanti, Michigan who were alive at that time and paying attention believe that he was, if not in on the murders, he certainly knew about the murders. And so my mom lived with this. And this shaped her. Her parents loved her very much. But in our popular culture in, you know, the late sixties and early seventies, I think what love looked like in white middle class American families was, “Hey, we're not going to talk about this. We're just going to try to put this behind us. We're going to focus on something else.” And so my grandparents encouraged my mom, “Hey, let's not talk about this.” Then the guy was arrested, he was taken away. There was never any further discussion about it. My mom continues to work at this department store, her life goes back to some semblance of something like normal, whatever normal is. And a year later, maybe a year and a half later, she meets this effeminate son of a minister who wants to get married right away. And he's safe and lovely. And it's no surprise to me that they found each other in that moment.   FAMILY UNHAPPINESS (19:07)   BLAIR HODGES: And so they do. They get married, and they have three kids—you and two younger siblings. It seems like your classic American family at this point. You've got two churchgoing parents, you got Dad as the breadwinner, Mom is the primary caregiver to the kids. And in fact, Dad's actually sometimes a bit too distant because of his work obligations. And that's how their relationship actually starts to fray. JESSI HEMPEL: They're trying so hard, right? And they're trying to check off the list of things you check off in order to qualify for the Olin Mills picture in like the eighties that would go on the Christmas card, and they're doing a great job at it on the surface. And here I think it's important to remember that at the beginning, my parents really were in love, and I think when one tells these kinds of stories and the end of the stories is that a marriage dissolves, we forget that before there was bad, there was a lot of history in the good that is worth considering. It wasn't like my parents lied to themselves in any overt way when they fell for each other. They actually did fall for each other in a moment. But, you know, as life went on, my father—it becomes harder and harder for him to bury this truth about himself. So he just becomes more and more distant. He just checks out. And my mother then is in a marriage that on the surface looks like everybody else's, and she thinks she should feel happy. But truthfully, she's so lonely because she's trying to raise these three children kind of all on her own. And then her own flashbacks and memories start to come up and she becomes extremely depressed. And I think about this long period—ultimately my adolescence, right? For me, it was age ten to twenty or so—as the closeted period in my family's life. And we were all pretty miserable and pretty unhappy and often emotionally violent to each other, and my parents in particular to us, and sometimes even physically violent. And that is the product of living in the closet. That is what it means to have to hide yourself. You become your worst version of yourself.   JESSI'S CHILDHOOD SECRET (21:11)   BLAIR HODGES: Seeing you grow up in the book, I love this. I loved reading about little Jessi. You start getting called “Jessica” in the third grade. This Jessica seems so precocious, and that she really needs to be seen in some ways. But also, she says she couldn't be seen. Here's something you write: "When I was a child, I believed there were things I couldn't reveal about myself, things that made me despicable, unlovable." So on the one hand, you wanted to connect, you wanted to be seen. And on the other hand, you had what you felt like was this dark secret about yourself. Talk about what that was like for you. JESSI HEMPEL: Well, you know, I was gay, and by that, I mean, I also didn't have a word for it. But I knew by the time I was in early elementary school that my desire was programmed differently than other people's desire. And that this was something I needed to hide. I don't even know exactly how I knew that. But I knew that. And that if anybody ever found out, that would be bad for me. I think one thing about the eighties and into the early nineties was that this was a time when maybe you could be gay, but you just didn't talk about it. And none of the people we knew on television came out on television. You know, Ellen DeGeneres didn't come out of the closet on TV until 1996. BLAIR HODGES: Yeah, I was in high school. JESSI HEMPEL: You probably remember it. Do you remember it, Blair? BLAIR HODGES: I do! I do. And at the time, I was in a place where I thought something was very wrong with that. I was unsettled by it. But I think I didn't know much about what it meant. And the thing is that growing up, we would say all the slurs, we would say “queer” and stuff like this without really even thinking about what it meant. I did get the sense that I was expected to become a man, I always had heteronormative cultural expectations, but I didn't know that I knew any gay people. So Ellen was one of the first people where I was like, oh, there's gay people. Okay, there's one in real life. JESSI HEMPEL: Completely. And that was so profoundly important. It started a cultural change that grew into the movement that we have today, right? But, you know, before all that happened, I was like, "Queer" was the word we use to describe things that were strange and not cool in high school. And I used it all the time before it became the word that was my identity. But I knew I also had these crushes on girls starting in middle school and into high school that I could kind of get away with because I think this kind of friendship is more sanctioned between women than it is between men. BLAIR HODGES: Can we read about one of these? There's an excerpt on page 80 I thought would really speak to that. Just to the end of the page there. JESSI HEMPEL: Okay. Yeah, awesome. "In sixth grade, I love Becky Orr. She's my best friend. She has long brown curly hair that she parts in the middle and pins back with two barrettes, and a face like a Cabbage Patch Kid doll, round with dimples on her cheeks. We spend our time doing things that border on little kid, like running through the sprinkler and watching the Mickey Mouse Club. Then we go to our respective homes and talk on the phone. “When we're not talking, I'm thinking about talking to her. I can find a way to weave Becky into any conversation. For instance, if Dad mentions going to the beach next summer, I might say, 'You know who loves the beach?' 'Who?' he'll say, even though he knows the answer: Becky Orr. “Being a closeted gay girl in the 1980s involves hiding out in the open. It's constantly declaring your feelings to the object of your affection and getting away with it because girls are allowed to love each other. Loving is entirely condoned. Lusting is something of which we don't speak. “I don't have a name for this way that I'm drawn to Becky, I always longed to be closer to my best friends, but I don't even know what I'm longing for. To feel more? To merge into them more? To crawl inside their heads? This merging desire feels most possible when a friend is most vulnerable, such as when she is falling in love with someone else. In this way, I learn to lie to myself. When Becky calls to tell me David kissed her at the St. John's Dance, I feel the universe cleave into sections, see her spinning backward from me. She'll like David better than me, differently than me. But just now, it's me for whom she reaches to share this new experience and I want to hold onto her attention. 'I'm so excited for you, Becky,' I say, 'Tell me everything.' It's always this way for me with a best friend. For a brief period, I will inhabit them, and then I'll lose them." BLAIR HODGES: We get to see more of that as you tell more of your story. A couple of years after this, you still haven't really got a word for it, you haven't really nailed it down for yourself. But a couple years later, you're babysitting for some neighbors a few houses down. And there's a book they have there. And I recognize the title of this. It's called Our Bodies, Ourselves, this book is on the shelf there and you're curious. So you pick it up and you start to read it. And this book really brings some things home. JESSI HEMPEL: It really does. And I just remember, Blair, I was so nervous they would discover I was researching, that I was reading for personal gain, that I was trying to figure something out, I started reading the section about homosexuality. And I was like, "Oh, dear, oh, dear. Oh, dear! Wow, that really..." And then I thought, "Oh, my goodness, they're gonna come home and see me reading it. And they're gonna know." Now I'm, you know, fifteen years old, fourteen years old. So I immediately turn to the section on menopause because I think well, then they'll just think I'm reading for curiosity, because there's no way I'm going through menopause! [laughter] BLAIR HODGES: But you knew then, right? You say you knew. In fact, read the end of that chapter there. JESSI HEMPEL: "From this point on, I know the thing about myself I have been trying not to know. I understand that it cannot be changed, that it is innate, like my eye color. “I'm gay. “One day I will need to accept this, and I believe it will end the good part of my life. It will end my ability to get along with the people I know and love. I am gay. I will spend my adult years in a dirty city living with men I do not like. I won't have kids. But hopefully also, I'll know women that look like the women in this book. Would that be so bad? “Maybe, I think, I can stave this off until after high school. Maybe I can buy myself a few more years of the good life in which I think I can be like everyone else. Maybe no one else has to know."   KICKED OUT OF THE CLOSET (27:42)   BLAIR HODGES: And as you're dealing with all that, your relationship with your mother is deteriorating. People who read the book will see how that plays out. You're struggling, things in your family feel disconnected, and things are going to come to a head eventually here. Chapter 14, I think, was probably one of the most painful chapters to read. This is when your sister makes a discovery on your dad's computer. JESSI HEMPEL: My dad was outed. We like to say that he was kicked out of the closet more than he came out of the closet. I was just out of college. My sister, who's four years younger than me, had just finished her first year of college and she was home for the summer. And things were not great between my parents by this point. Years and years of not taking care of their relationship had led to a situation where, you know, Mom watched TV all evening long and Dad disappeared into the den and they didn't really talk to each other. And Dad would get on his computer. So my sister is in her bedroom. And she is IM'ing—one of those early chat programs, with her boyfriend. They're sort of newly in love. And then her computer dies. It runs out of batteries. It's an early laptop. And so she gets frustrated with it. And she goes into the den to use the family computer to pick up the conversation. And when she goes on the computer, somebody she doesn't know pings her back. And she quickly discovers this person she doesn't know seems to be a man involved with my father. And she puts it together very quickly that this person messaging her is some man that my dad is having an affair with. And then everything blows up, Blair. In that particular moment, my dad and my mom were hosting visiting relatives— BLAIR HODGES: I know. It was such a bad moment!— JESSI HEMPEL: I mean, is there ever a good moment, though? Could you ever plan, could you ever be like, you know, "On July 20th—" [laughter] BLAIR HODGES: No, but maybe on a quiet weekend, though, with no visitors! JESSI HEMPEL: That would've been better, but no. [laughter] They were just waiting for my aunt and uncle to arrive. They were driving home from, I think, shopping for furniture, and my sister calls my dad—we had one of those early car phones, it was sort of a bit before cell phones, and they were like these big bricks, and you didn't really want to use them because it was super expensive, but for emergencies, right? So my sister calls and wants to talk to my dad, my mom picks up and my sister basically intimates to my mom, she says, "Tell Dad that So-and-So says hi." And in that moment my dad knows exactly what has happened. And he panics, and he just thinks, “I can undo this, I can fix this, I can fix this.” So he races home, he tries to get time with my sister, but my sister's not having it. And she leaves. She goes to her boyfriend's house, he lives in Vermont. She basically says, you know, “You tell Mom, or I will.” And so my dad has to tell my mom, you know, “Hey, I've been doing these,” you know—his understanding of what's happening at this point too is really important. Because I think it is like the process of coming out of the closet is not a light switch that you flip on and off. It's a gradual awakening or awareness. And so his thought at this point is that he has been afflicted by something, rather like he might be afflicted by some form of cancer that's surely curable if you get the right treatments. And so his first sort of revelation to my mom is like, "I've been afflicted by these unhealthy desires, and I've acted upon them and broken the covenant of our marriage. And I'm going to fix this. And we can fix this. And I'm so sorry that I'm sick." Luckily, for everybody involved, that's not where his emotional work ended. But that's where it started. BLAIR HODGES: And Mom wanted to hang in there for a minute, like they really thought they could figure this out. She became invested in making this work, and it sort of starts getting drawn out, and you're seeing your parents try to make what is appearing increasingly to be a sham, they're trying so hard to make it work, and your dad is experiencing what you call the "Rainbow Phase." He's kind of finally started to embrace his gay self, but he's also trying to not be gay. He's also trying to maintain this mixed-orientation marriage at the same time, which is so strange. JESSI HEMPEL: I mean, imagine it, though, because he loves my mom, and he loves this family we have created. He also has a pretty intact relationship with his religion and with God at this point. And stepping outside of the framework of those things is completely unknown to him. This is also the summer of his fiftieth birthday. He turns fifty about two weeks after all of this happens. So imagine if you live the first fifty years of your life with one identity and then you are called to ask to rethink it. It seems impossible. You think you know who you are. How could you also be this other person? BLAIR HODGES: Do you think there was some excitement in it, too? Like the Rainbow Phase part of it? JESSI HEMPEL: Coming out is great, okay? Blair, let me tell you, coming out involves coming into a community of people who have been waiting for you, many of whom have also experienced rejection and hurt and hardship from their families of origin. And when you finally get brave enough to figure out how to bring a dish of macaroni to the potluck at the LGBT center, what you discover is a whole lot of people who are like, I want to be your friend. You want to go to the theater with me? You want to join my biking club? He joined a church for a little while that was composed of people who had left their churches because they couldn't be a part of it. He walked into opportunities for belonging. And I think it's such an important distinction, Blair, because when you are the spouse being left in that situation, you don't walk into belonging. You have to rethink everything, you have to reconstitute your identity, and there's no flag waving for you. BLAIR HODGES: No. Your mother had such difficulty and talked about a suicide attempt even. She came to the point where that was on the table for her. What was it like writing about that? And how did she feel about that being part of the book? JESSI HEMPEL: It was really hard to figure out how to write about it. She was pretty unhappy at first with that being part of the book. She felt, you know, she is a mental health practitioner. And she worried that— BLAIR HODGES: Yeah. That's a community she fell into, like, figuring out mental health and becoming a therapist and all that, so to speak, she needed a place to fall. But we're talking about what happened before that. Sorry, just wanted to interject that— JESSI HEMPEL: Right. But in her moment of crisis, and you asked specifically about how she felt about me writing about it, she was scared that if she revealed exactly how vulnerable she was, people would think less of her. And so that was her fear in the book. And yet, she was really honest with me about what that moment of crisis felt like. And I was able to really reflect both how she thought and felt about that moment of crisis, but also how it affected my brother who was still in high school, and my sister who was at college. When an event like that happens in a family system, it happens differently to everyone, and hopefully the book sort of captures that.   SIBLING RIVALRY (34:53)   BLAIR HODGES: Oh, it sure does. I think this is one of the main strengths of your book, because it shows how coming out can be such an involved and connected and networked process, that it's not an isolated thing. And people that experience it, there are shockwaves—there's joy, there's grief, there's so many different emotions. And it's not an isolated individual experience. It has repercussions for everybody around. We certainly get to witness that with you, and your siblings, and your mom, and how it impacted your dad, and how it impacted their religious faith and their connection to different religious communities, and how it connected your mom to communities of therapy and research and how to be in therapeutic relationship with others. I think that's such a central strength of The Family Outing, that we get to witness how that felt. With that in mind, let's take a second to talk about your siblings. So Katja is the middle child. And then the youngest is Evan. Evan was assigned female at birth. And Katja comes out as bisexual. It was interesting, your reaction to that. Because you had come out as gay. And when your sister came out as bi, you seem sort of like, "Oh, okay." Maybe talk a little bit about the bi erasure that kind of happens, right? Bi people often talk about bi erasure, that they're sort of dismissed, or that it's sort of looked sideways at, like, "Oh, okay, interesting…" JESSI HEMPEL: I'm so glad you brought that up. You know, my wife identifies as bisexual, and people can be somewhat callous of that being like, "Well, you and Jessi have been together for twelve years. Why do we have to call you bisexual?" BLAIR HODGES: Yeah, I hear this with people that are married, too. I know a woman who's married to a guy, she gets the exact same question a lot, and she came out as bi later in life, and they're like, "But you're already married, and you have kids and stuff. Like, what's the point?" So that bi erasure is real. JESSI HEMPEL: One hundred percent. The other piece there that I really wanted to figure out how to highlight is that this book is about coming out, but it's also about how to receive people who come out to you. I wanted to call attention to the fact that, you know, I came out first. I thought I knew a thing or two about what it was to be queer and who got to be queer. And I actually, unfortunately, I thought I kind of owned it in my family. And I was not great to my sister or my brother when they came out. In both situations my first response was to belittle the experience, to say some version of, "Well, I mean, you know, okay, fine." Like with my sister, "Oh, you just want to be like the rest of us. Sure, you're bisexual, like you were the popular girl in school, you always had a boyfriend, like, I know, this is a passing fad." And with my brother, you know, a couple years later, I did the exact same thing. He said, "My pronouns are going to be he and him, the name I choose is Evan. Please call me that when I come to visit you." And my first response was like, "But you just wore that beautiful dress at Christmas. I'm sure this is a passing thing. Like, what's that about?" I think, you know, having some compassion for myself and for anyone in that situation, what's true is that when the people we love most, who are closest to us, family members in particular, but also good friends, reveal something about themselves that is so outside of what we think we know about them, it threatens our own identity. And sometimes our immediate first reaction is to get so wrapped up in the threat to our own identity that we can't receive what they have to tell us. BLAIR HODGES: We might even think like, how could they not have told me? There's perhaps also a trust thing, too, not honoring the reasons why people come out when they do. I also think this sort of a cultural experience might become less common, right, the more acceptable it is, the more people are coming out. Some people don't even need to come out. They're growing up in a family or culture system where like, that's just the thing. But as long as there are people coming out, the ways that they're received, especially by the people that love them the most, matters the most, and you're vulnerable in the way you talk about your own missteps and things you wish you could have done differently. You straightforwardly tell us those reactions. Like when Evan comes out and says he's trans, like you just described it, you're kind of like, “Okay…” and coming to grips with that yourself and being able to talk about it, again, I think it speaks to the strength of your book. I want to remind people, the book is called The Family Outing, and we're talking to Jessi Hempel. She's host of an award-winning podcast called Hello Monday, and also a senior editor at large at LinkedIn. Her writing usually focuses on work and meaning in the digital age. And you might have seen her on CNN, PBS, MSNBC, or CNBC, talking about culture and business of technology. She graduated from Brown University, got a Master of Journalism from UC—Berkeley, lots of education, lots of experience, a lot of writing. And you've got this whole family background behind all that, too.   SEEKING A CURE FOR THE EMOTIONAL FLU (39:30)   BLAIR HODGES: One of my favorite scenes, by the way, was when you were talking about being on CNN at one point, and you just went blank in the mind at this point. I can't believe it. You talk about the dead air. And that was kind of a crisis point for you, right? What were you doing there?   JESSI HEMPEL: In my late twenties I was always very career-forward. And in my early adulthood, I just really wanted to be a business writer. I started writing and I got a job at Businessweek, and I became a TV commentator. And I learned, Blair, that you don't actually need to know very much about whatever they're asking you on TV to be pretty good at this job. All you have to do for the most part is master the art of the bridge. So whatever question you ask, no matter how hard it is, or how little I know about it, what I can say is, "Blair, it's so interesting, you would ask that, but what people really want to know about is—" whatever I want to talk about, and then I started talking, and the TV viewers never even really put it together if I'm confident enough. And this was my trick for actually talking about a lot of things I really didn't know much about in my twenties on television. BLAIR HODGES: Yeah, I would always call it “the pivot.” [laughter] JESSI HEMPEL: The pivot. But also during this period, I really hadn't dealt with a lot of the trauma that had happened in my family. And what would happen is that just every once in a while it would catch up with me. And I had a name for this, I think the modern-day version of it would be something like a panic attack, but I called it the emotional flu. And I would literally just check out for some period of time and be completely unable to manage. The way out of this, by the way, was therapy—a really great therapist that I saw weekly for nine years. But we're before that here. And this happened to me, this set of panic attacks that landed me in a place where I suddenly checked out, didn't show up for work for a day and didn't prepare for anything. And then I needed to go in to CNN, I was booked on CNN. So I put my makeup on and went into the studio, the car came and picked me up and brought me in, and they put me in the chair. And I kind of was like, I was so fragile. But I thought the question they were going to ask me was, “what did we do when we learned that the Olympics are,” wherever they were, I think I believed at the time that they were going to be in London. I was ready to talk about that. I had, like, one thing to say. And then it turned out that the Olympics were in Paris, and they asked me the question, you know, what do you think? What does it mean for Paris that the Olympics are going to be there and, Blair, I said, nothing. Just looked at the screen, panicked. And there's nothing more terrifying than silence, like, dead air on television. BLAIR HODGES: Yeah, everybody probably panicked right then. JESSI HEMPEL: Yeah, they made a little note in the book that said, “Don't book her again.” [laughter] It was probably four years before I went on CNN again. But that also was the moment when I realized if I didn't turn my attention to this, it was going to take something really important from my future. And so it was the reason why I think I finally got into therapy. BLAIR HODGES: And that made a profound difference for you. We also see you just trying to find meaning and connection, too. You got kind of wrapped up in these sort of personal improvement groups, people might be familiar with these like, I don't know, I won't say cult, some people would, but there are these groups you get involved with, and you have to pay money to do these levels of trainings. And so you're also trying to find connections, it seemed like, beyond your family, to just have your feet on the ground and also feel empowered yourself. We see you searching a lot. And that's another vulnerable part of the book, is where you talk about sort of getting connected to some of these self-improvement groups. JESSI HEMPEL: Yeah, I mean, I think the most notable group like this is Landmark, people may be familiar with it. The group I did was sort of a radical offshoot of Landmark. And what's true about these groups is they can be really problematic in the way they build, but they also contain really great learning. And for me—and I hope I conveyed this in the book—it was a little bit of both. In the end, I got so wrapped up in these that I needed somebody to step in and help me get out. But I also learned a lot about the idea that I could be responsible for my own happiness, and that I could make things happen for myself in my life. I took so much self-agency from this experience. And I'm grateful for that. BLAIR HODGES: It was nice to see you talk about the importance of “found family,” the people you connected with. There's a group, an organization called COLAGE—Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere—that you were connected to in some ways, but also that group can be kind of challenging, too, because you didn't necessarily see your own experience there. JESSI HEMPEL: That group is a great group that still exists and is a pretty wonderful resource for any child whose parents have come out. I stumbled upon it in my early twenties. It was wonderful to be part of a community of other people whose parents were also queer. The thing I found confusing at that point was that in those years I wasn't proud of my parents. Their marriage was coming apart. They were a mess. They were not in good shape. And I would be part of this group where a lot of the children in this group came from families more like the family I have gone on to create, where both parents were queer at the origination of the children, and they'd sort of grown up with queer parents. And it was hard to figure out how to be truthful about my own family in the smaller community, when also the public narrative I felt compelled to uphold was that gay families are great. We've got everything figured out, we raise good kids, because there's so much vitriol directed toward families with same-sex parents that I felt compelled to be defensive of them in public. Does that make sense? BLAIR HODGES: It certainly does. Your parents end up separating and your father has relationships—he finally kind of embraces that side of himself and meets a man to share his life with. And your mom gets into therapy and begins helping others. And then you came around to having kids through your connection to your partner, Francis. It didn't seem like something you were super excited to do throughout your life. But then through this partnership, you decided, "Oh, this could work for us." Do you think that's in part because you didn't have a lot of models to look at? Like, there weren't a lot of lesbian women obviously having kids. You didn't get to see families that look like that. So did you sort of just grow up thinking, "Well, I'm just not going to have that. It's just not really a thing”? JESSI HEMPEL: Yes, and I think it wasn't so much because I was gay that I thought, "Oh, I don't want to have children." But because I didn't trust myself to be a good parent because I did not feel I had been parented well. And I worried I would parent a child like I had been parented. And so rather than even creating the possibility that that might happen, I just moved right to "I don't want kids. I'm a person who doesn't want kids." And it wasn't until I had been in my relationship with my partner, Francis, for many years, that I came around, and even when she told me, "Hey, I'm ready to have kids," I still was like, "Oh, no, I guess we have to break up because I would be a horrible parent." And she had to really press me and say, "Well, are you saying you don't want kids?" And it was like, "No, I'm not saying I want them or don't want them. I'm saying I would be bad at it." And it caused a sort of crisis of my sense of self. I ended up writing to the woman who had really helped me in high school, the assistant principal of my high school. She'd known me since my youth. And I wrote to her and just basically said, do you think I can do this? Is this a really bad idea? And she was the one who wrote to me and said, "You don't have to be your history. You can be a new version of yourself. You have learned what you need to learn in life, and you can be good at this."   EVAN'S STORY (47:38)   BLAIR HODGES: I was also really moved by your brother Evan's story. There's a conversation you had with Evan at one point where he pointed out that your parents' secrets and your secrets were a little bit different. Evan was talking about how your parents' generation and your generation experience secrets differently. He said they are fundamentally different because your secrets aren't secret from yourselves. Like with your parents, they kind of had to keep it—especially your father—had to keep that from himself. For you all, it was more about keeping that secret just from your family. You actually kind of knew and were more ready to embrace it than the family was. And perhaps that's a different thing to experience. JESSI HEMPEL: Yeah, I think that's right. And I think what my brother was really trying to push me to think about was how this might impact our kids. Because, you know, when my brother and I had this conversation, we were both new parents. He had two little kids at home, and we had just had our second baby. And we were talking about what this might mean for our kids and what we hope for our kids. And he was saying, "Well, look, we've made it this far. But they're gonna have to do the work of figuring out what their secrets mean to them, and what their truths are. We can't do that work for them." BLAIR HODGES: And for Evan, I also enjoyed reading about his experience being pregnant and having children as a trans man. It's not terribly common. There aren't a lot of people who have written about it or spoken about it publicly. There's still plenty of prejudice and misunderstanding about trans folks today. So it was nice to see in your book an example of a trans man who went through that and gave birth to kids and wanted to have this family and has this family. So that's a story... I mean, your book obviously wasn't the Book of Evan, so you didn't get into it a ton. But I loved learning the little bit I learned about him. JESSI HEMPEL: I so appreciate that. And you know, the whole book owes itself to a story I wrote about my brother's pregnancy for Time Magazine, about his decision to get pregnant, what that experience was like for him carrying the baby, what the rest of the world thought as he did it. So if you're curious about it, also, if you Google my brother's name and the word "Time," I guarantee you it will be the first five things that pop up.   REGRETS, CHALLENGES, AND SURPRISES (49:47)   BLAIR HODGES: Perfect. I'll put a link to the show notes too, so people can check that out, and that'll fit well with some other episodes in the show as well. All right. That's Jessi Hempel, and we're talking about the book, The Family Outing: A Memoir. I wanted to conclude, Jessi, with regrets, challenges, and surprises. This is the part of the show where you get to talk about any of these things, or all three—something you regret or that you would change about the book now that it's out, what you would say was maybe the most challenging thing about writing it, or something that was revealed to you—a surprise you discovered along the way. JESSI HEMPEL: I love this question. And you know, Blair, I feel very complete in this book. I feel like it was the best story I could tell. The surprise, and the challenge, was in publishing. I thought once I sold the book, you know, I had the good fortune of selling this book before I wrote it, and then I had to go write it. And I thought, well, the hard part will be writing it. And then it will go out into the world, and I'll get to talk about it and that will be great. And in fact, I loved every day of writing it. It was the biggest gift of my life. And then it was published, and I found the process of publication very disorienting. And it's only now, about a year after publication, that I feel like I have my footing again and have a relationship with the book again. BLAIR HODGES: What do you think that vertigo came from? What happened? JESSI HEMPEL: Well, you know, the publishing industry is made up of people who dearly love books. And that is the best thing about it. But it's pretty broken. And so you know, even for me, my book came out from HarperCollins. It had an editor who loved it and was consistently the editor the whole way through. And it had a marketing team who were just spot on. But they had so many books to represent, and my book got a little sliver of attention, and then the attention meter moved on. And when it didn't become a bestseller in the first seven days it was out, the resources to promote it immediately went down. And it was hard not to take that personally because it was my family's story that was selling or not selling. And I managed that, Blair, proactively in advance by doing two things. One is I decided before I began that I never wanted to know the sales numbers, because writing this book for me was not about sales numbers. And so I don't even have the login to the portal that would tell me how well it sold. If you asked me, I could guess but like my guess and your guess would be about equivalent. I don't know. And that felt important. But then the most important thing I told myself then, and that has proven out now, is getting to have conversations like this. Individual people who respond to the book. Because the book is helpful. That's the point. But it's taken me a year to pull back enough from the process to connect deeply to that. BLAIR HODGES: That's hard. As you said, there's a lot of different pieces, not just the writing of it, but pitching it, selling it, going through the editing process, going through the promotional process. It's something we don't talk about often. I don't really dig into this part of it a lot in the interviews, but I think it's a really important aspect of what it's like to be vulnerable like you were in writing this book and navigating the emotions that it all brings. JESSI HEMPEL: Well, thank you, Blair. This was such a joy of an interview. I don't take it for granted when people really spend time with work, and I just appreciate it. So thank you. BLAIR HODGES: Thank you. It was such an easy book to spend that time with and I really strongly recommend it. I hope everybody checks this book out: The Family Outing by Jessi Hempel, and checks out your podcast as well: Hello, Monday. I'm glad you took the time to join us, Jessi. This has been really fun. JESSI HEMPEL: Take good care, Blair, I look forward to talking again sometime. BLAIR HODGES: There's much more to come on Family Proclamations. If you're enjoying the show, why not take a second to rate and review it? Go to Apple Podcasts and let me know your thoughts. And please just take a second to recommend the show to a friend. The more the merrier. Thanks to Mates of State for providing our theme song. Family Proclamations is part of the Dialogue Podcast Network. I'm Blair Hodges, and I'll see you next time. [END]   NOTE: Transcripts have been lightly edited for readability.

We spoke about the following: - - Roasting in your late 20s/early 30s - Lusting after women on the explore page - Companionship in marriage Hosts:- Gabz: @Gabz_Amadi Eman: @Gaemechanger Ore: @Ms_Ore #RTRWPodcast You can contact us: Twitter: @RTRW_Podcast Instagram: @RealTalkRealWalk_ Email: RealTalkRealWalk@hotmail.com

We are in Lusting after the residual of entrepreneurship and not hunger for the process of how to get there.  What are the checks and balances for us to be the best entrepreneur we can be.  The 8 Dimensions of Leadership: DiSC Strategies for Becoming a Better Leader 1000 True fans Buy the book Chop Wood, Carry Water (How to fall in love with the process of becoming great) Want to work with me - fill out an intake form Our Sponsors: Get QBO for your bookkeeping needs Please use code Fancy20 for 20% off your purchase at atasteofrelaxation.com Want to make bookkeeping easier: Get QBO for your bookkeeping needs How to stay connected with me: Register for TTC Academy - (CLOSED UNTIL SPRING 2023) Schedule an appointment Sign up for email list Upcoming Speaking engagements: New Journals: Your Next Level Business Growth Journal 30 Day Affirmation Journal Book me for speaking engagements: contact angela@financialfancy.com Follow me on Pinterest Follow me on LinkedIn Follow me on Instagram "It is in your consistency, where you will find your WIN!"~Charese Chambers Musical Track: IG:  https://www.instagram.com/mtthwhudson/?hl=en Intro composer:   https://www.instagram.com/dawainpodcoach/?hl=en **Affiliate links ("https://amzn.to/3gPSnOe" "amzn.to") may be used and do lend a percentage commission upon purchase. Take the initiative and educate yourself about FTC Disclosure + Affiliate Links: http://bit.ly/2oigrvF   --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/businessafterdark/support

One of us changed - One stayed the same Let's start at the very beginning The Spirit and Magic of it A Simple process - A Breakdown of Sorts Boom Boom Boom Boom Time after time after time after time  Composite born of Scribbles and Noise Three Ideas with Strange Titles Begat Three lyrics and Melodies Lol's Impersonation of a Small dog My nervous system collapsing like buildings Bobby asked, ‘Have you got any Lyrics?' We said, ‘Surprise us!' Dipping in During Lock-Down Using Lyrics as Drummers Directions    Love was diseased right from the start   Hit me like Adventures too Close to Home Bobby speaking for every man and every woman Internal Collapse and Total Disintegration  Changing, Running Away, Lusting for Life. ___ Respect: Andrew James Weatherall (6 April 1963 – 17 February 2020) ___ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Berean Patriot is on a lifelong search for the truth on all things, faith. He has this “strange” idea that God gave us intellect and reason because He wants us to use them. He personally tries to be like the Bereans, who were called “noble-minded” in the Bible, "for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so." (Acts 17:10-11) When presented with an idea, he examines the Scriptures to see whether those things are so… and that gets him into a lot of trouble at times. Connect with Berean Patriot: https://www.bereanpatriot.com/ Subscribe to Kowalski Analysis Podcast: iTunes: https://apple.co/3aOeqNJ Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2CPn6a2 Google Play: http://bit.ly/GoogleKowalskiAnalysis Join our Communities (100% free): https://www.facebook.com/groups/waitingworks https://www.facebook.com/groups/unpluggedchristian Follow me: Tik Tok

Loving & Lusting | Watford 7 June 2023 by S.B. Keshava Swami

Ray has been doing work on her house, and she's liking what she sees. She wants to shoot her shot, and needs our help.

Topics: Sexual Integrity, Lusting, Hoarding, Grief, Adult Children, Parenting, Custody Hosts: Steve Arterburn, Becky Brown, Chris Williams Caller Questions: How can I respond to my wife about my lustful eyes when she says that the damage is already done, and she doesn't feel good enough?  I am 82yo and hoarding has taken over my life; how do I move on?  How do I The post New Life Live: September 14, 2023 appeared first on New Life.

Jack and Nikki kick off this week's show talking about the dangers of lust... even if you do your lusting from a distance. They also ask some hard questions about butt smuggling, like who is doing this and would you use a product that was smuggled this way? The show ends with a visit to the Matrimony Desk where they discuss the controversy surrounding Nikki's cousin and her plans for a "child free" wedding.

Lusting over moms! Send a pic of your mom to the Mom Council at skeletonhousepodcast@gmail.com. Also taking the bus! Send a picture of your local public transit to skeletonhousepodcast@gmail.com. A pic of your mom riding the bus? You know where to send it by now boss.

"My Husband Is Lusting Over Other Women... Are We Doomed?" - RLS - Ep.66Dre IG: @itsdresmith - https://www.instagram.com/itsdresmith/ Rhonda IG: @rhonicakes - https://www.instagram.com/rhonicakes/ Relationship Restored IG: @relationshiprestored - https://www.instagram.com/relationshiprestored/ Want To Tell Us Your Real Love Scenario? Visit https://www.relationshiprestored.com/reallovescenario Please like, comment, and subscribe to get featured on the next episode! Leave a review to get featured on the next episode!

Episode 296 has fingerblasted it's way into the week! Lusting over Fruit Cocktails, Vaping Strawberry Space Food, Astronaut Milkers, Jay finishes his away mission, MonsterTrumpRallys, Recycling is Worthless, Boomer Lies, Dylan's Mouse has a well endowed parts, J-A.I. Version 01 is ready for airtime, Summertime in PHX has outlived it's welcome and balls are having a hardtime, Fitness Apps, Jalepeno Popper/Jalepeno Double Cheeseburger wrecks everything, Bluoop in the bottom of the Port-o-Jons, Walter's Back is better, 6 Month Polyversaries with the OCHO, Sounding Garden, Matt likes the Barbie movie quite a bit, Aggressive Vested Gas Servicemen messing with our stuff, Look at this!, Voicemails and more! .............Mustard   Visit us at www.NFHCPodcast.com for everything Not For Human Consumption. Support the show by subscribing to our Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/NFHCPodcast Leave us a voicemail anytime at 480-788-7330 Apple Podcast: https://tinyurl.com/yapnr7cf Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/ybpo59va Youtube: https://tinyurl.com/y7va3h9a Stitcher: https://tinyurl.com/y75fnd3l Join the NFHC Discord! https://discord.gg/xrxhQTP Matt's Twitch Streams Weekly: https://www.twitch.tv/GrimwolfePrime Background Music Provided by: https://www.streambeats.com

Running a fever is a sign that we are fighting an infection. Your temperature rises; you are very hot. Your sweat glands activate and you cool down. Your fever has broken and you are in the process of recovering and getting well. You are moving toward healing. The lust for money and power in the high level narcissist is a fever, a sickness, a perverse pursuit,  uncontained. Monetary acquisition captivates the high level narcissist. High levels are always thinking about how much money they have, how to get more, how to keep it from others. For the high level there is never enough money, investments, properties, financial holdings. Lusting after money is the singular preoccupation for many high level narcissists. Having lots of money makes them feel more entitled, superior to others, a consummate winner. In this obsessive pursuit the high level narcissist doesn't stop victimizing others, disrupting their lives, leaving them without monetary means, causing extreme duress, anxiety and worry. Pay attention to your intuition about the high level narcissist. You sense their vileness, like a noxious odor in the air.  Dis-entangle yourself from the lust fevered high level narcissist. Develop habits of self care: rest, sleep, nourishing food, good hydration, movement and exercise that works for you, spend time with Nature, bring Great Art into your days. Exercise your intuitive gifts. Honor your wisdom and fine character. Develop a spiritual practice specifically designed for you as an individual. Click the link below for my books on Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/46befxue Click the link below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a Global Network of Shows by Podcasters on every facet of Mental Health www.mhnrnetwork.com

How were sexuality, gender roles, and attitudes to the body influenced by men's experiences in the Second World War? That's something explored in Luke Turner's new book Men at War. Luke speaks to Matt Elton about the stories of some of the men shaped by the conflict, and why he thinks the full range of experiences has been obscured by subsequent depictions of the war. (Ad) Luke Turner is the author of Men at War: Loving, Lusting, Fighting, Remembering 1939-1945 (Orion, 2023). Buy it now from Waterstones: http://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=4746&awinaffid=489797&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.waterstones.com%2Fbook%2Fmen-at-war%2Fluke-turner%2F9781474618861&clickref=historyextra-social-histboty Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Though rarely spoken about, love, lust and sexuality were key to many soldiers' experiences of the Second World War. Veterans might allude to them in their recollections, but what do we know about wartime experiences of sex and sexual identity? And how did this intersect with the soldiers' understandings of masculinity?For this episode that marks the beginning of Pride month, Dan is joined by Luke Turner, author of Men at War: Loving, Lusting, Fighting, Remembering, 1939 - 1945. Luke has assembled a cast of fascinating characters, from a prisoner in a Japanese POW camp who later became an LGBT+ activist, to a gay RAF fighter ace; their stories help to demystify notions of sexuality and masculinity in the Second World War.Produced by Mariana Des Forges and James Hickmann, and edited by Dougal Patmore.You can take part in our listener survey here.If you want to get in touch with the podcast, you can email us at ds.hh@historyhit.com, we'd love to hear from you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Website: https://mycoachjosh.com/ Lifework communities: https://lifework.mn.co/ Books: https://mycoachjosh.com/books-coach Card Games: https://mycoachjosh.com/games Coaching: https://mycoachjosh.com/coaching Challenges: http://mycoachjosh.com/purpose-challenge

I want to talk today about a little bit of a dichotomy that a lot of people experience in their journey towards sexual integrity.If you've listened to this podcast for any length of time, or been involved in our coaching, groups, or events, I hope that you've picked up on the reality that we seek to bring the love and grace of God into all things.We believe that real life change happens through the kindness of God.It is the kindness of God that leads to repentance. Where sin increases, Paul writes in Romans, Grace increases all the more. We really are transformed by God's movement in our lives.The more we can do to open ourselves to the kindness, the goodness, the love, the gift that God is, the gifts that God offers, the better off we'll be. And in general, Legalism, being hard on ourselves beating ourselves up, doesn't work, it actually can be counterproductive towards growing in virtue and growing in sexual integrity. And so you won't experience that here.I think there's often a mistake that people make along the way, in believing that somehow temptation is just going to evaporate, that they're just going to one day just stop sinning.Now, I do believe that can happen. And I do believe it can happen over time.That's beautiful, wonderful, I think it's going to happen for you as you continue to go. But the journey to get there does include times of having to fight sexual temptation. It does include times where you will have a desire to act out sexually, a desire to go back to that same old well, and you will have to resist, you will have to work hard not to do it.You will have to say NO to that temptation,  I'm not going down this route, in Jesus name!Tune in as we talk about ways to fight, without being hard on yourself or legalistic. Ways that aren't a sexual integrity bootcamp.Help the show:Support the show.Help us improve the show.Leave a review.Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.

In today's beautifully described episode the author and journalist Luke Turner takes us back to 1943 to present us with a refreshingly different view of World War 2. The war, Turner reminds us, was a cultural experience as well as a military contest. One feature of this cultural environment has been largely neglected by generations of scholars. This is the unusual degree of freedom some members of the British armed forces had to explore issues of sexuality and gender. The stories that feature in this episode are covered in much more depth in Luke's fascinating new book. Men at War: Loving, Lusting, Fighting, Remembering 1939-1945 is published this week. For more, as ever, visit our website: tttpodcast.com. Show notes Scene One: 3-4 April 1943. RAF Lissett, Bridlington, East Yorkshire. Scene Two: 16 April 1943. Off the coast of North Africa with Wing Commander Ian Gleed of the RAF. Scene Three. November 1943. A couple of hundred miles north of the Allied line with Lieutenant Dan Billany. Memento: The cockpit door from Ian Gleed's hurricane. People/Social Presenter: Artemis Irvine Guest: Luke Turner Production: Maria Nolan Podcast partner: Ace Cultural Tours Theme music: ‘Love Token' from the album ‘This Is Us' By Slava and Leonard Grigoryan Follow us on Twitter: @tttpodcast_ See where 1943 fits on our Timeline

I respond to a question by someone who struggles with OCD and has a hard time applying the words of Jesus regarding lusting after a woman, as shown in Matthew 5:27-28. How do you process this Scripture when you see an attractive person? When have you crossed the line into lusting and committing adultery? It […] The post Does This Thought Mean I am Lusting and Committing Adultery? first appeared on Mark DeJesus.

Have you ever wanted to stop something so badly, yet couldn't figure out how to stop. Or even why? Have you tried to stop lusting?In this weeks podcast, just speaks to the importance of learning to love in recovery from unwanted sexual behavior, rather than just focusing on stopping the behavior.Key takeaways:The goal of recovery should be to learn to love in a self-giving way, rather than just stopping the unwanted behavior.God's mercy flows to the lowest places, and His grace is for those places. He is there right alongside us in those place. Let Him in.Counter arguments:It may feel wrong to receive God's mercy in places where we feel like we know better and keep doing it anyway.It may be difficult to open up those places to another person and ask for their help. When you are able to though, Regeneration is here. Resources:The Definition of LustHow to Stop Lusting in One StepOutline:The problem with trying to stop certain behaviors.A better goal than stopping your lust.We need to first be loved by god.Consider for yourself how not receiving God's love works for you.Forgiveness cannot be earned.How can we experience God's love in the face of sexual sin?Use your imagination open your mind.The first step to love like god.Help the show:Support the showAsk a question by emailing usLeave a reviewSubscribe wherever you get your podcastsFollow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.

Episode 2280 - On this Monday's show, Vinnie Tortorich and Anna Vocino discuss the new Food Compass, a recent CBS article about kids and obesity, a "state of the union" announcement about the podcast,  and more. PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS DOUBLING DOWN ON THE LIE Vinnie and Anna start the show discussing Nina Teicholz and the new "Food Compass" published by Tufts University. (3:55) They discuss A1C and getting a CAC score. (9:00) They discuss saturated fat and other items claimed to be bad by prominent vegan "doctors." STATE OF THE UNION The show turns to the topic of a "State of the Union" of the podcast and what's to come. (20:15) The show will go back down to three episodes a week, but still have five days' worth of content. On occasion, there may be a bonus Saturday show. Don't zip past the Villa Capelli ad--you'll hear why! (27:20) Then Vinnie and Anna launch into the topic of a recent CBS article that reports a recommendation by the American Pediatrics Association that parents should consider medication and even surgery for their obese children. (30:45) These organizations are just doubling-down on the lie and misinformation given to the public. It gets confusing and parents aren't necessarily to blame; there are many factors involved. People need to hold Tufts, the APA, and other organizations accountable and demand better. They discuss the medicines for A1C and the misguided opinions from the establishment. Dr. Robert Lustig is mentioned in the article, but not until further into it. Dr. Lusting has been on this podcast and also has a great YouTube video called "Sugar--the Bitter Truth" that you can watch . Vinnie explains his plans for an upcoming workout video where he will demonstrate specific moves. (55:45) He plans to add a little "lagniappe" for you. PURCHASE BEYOND IMPOSSIBLE The documentary launched on January 11! Order it TODAY! This is Vinnie's third documentary in just over three years. Get it now on Apple TV (iTunes) and/or Amazon Video! Link to the film on Apple TV (iTunes):  Then, Share this link with friends, too! It's also now available on Amazon (the USA only for now)!  Visit my new Documentaries HQ to find my films everywhere: REVIEWS: Please submit your REVIEW after you watch my films. Your positive REVIEW does matter! FAT: A DOCUMENTARY 2 (2021) Visit my new Documentaries HQ to find my films everywhere: Then, please share my fact-based, health-focused documentary series with your friends and family. The more views, the better it ranks, so please watch it again with a new friend! REVIEWS: Please submit your REVIEW after you watch my films. Your positive REVIEW does matter! FAT: A DOCUMENTARY (2019) Visit my new Documentaries HQ to find my films everywhere: Then, please share my fact-based, health-focused documentary series with your friends and family. The more views, the better it ranks, so please watch it again with a new friend! REVIEWS: Please submit your REVIEW after you watch my films. Your positive REVIEW does matter!