Podcasts about askers

Stephanie shares her newfound interest in naming conventions, highlighting a resource called "Classnames" that provides valuable names for programming and design. Joël, in turn, talks about using AI to generate names for D&D characters, emphasizing how AI can help provide inspiration and reasoning behind name suggestions. Then, they shift to Joël's interest in Roman history, where he discusses a blog by a Roman historian that explores distinctions between state and non-state peoples in the ancient Mediterranean. Together, the hosts delve into the importance of asking questions as consultants and developers to understand workflows, question assumptions, and build trust for better onboarding. Stephanie categorizes questions by engagement stages and their social and technical aspects, while Joël highlights how questioning reveals implicit assumptions and speeds up learning. They stress maintaining a curious mindset, using questions during PR reviews, and working with junior developers to foster collaboration. They conclude with advice on documenting answers and using questions for continuous improvement and effective decision-making in development teams. Class names inspiration (https://classnames.paulrobertlloyd.com/) How to Raise a Tribal Army in Pre-Roman Europe, Part II: Government Without States (https://acoup.blog/2024/06/14/collections-how-to-raise-a-tribal-army-in-pre-roman-europe-part-ii-government-without-states/) Diocletian, Constantine, Bedouin Sayings, and Network Defense (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCUI5ryyMSE) The Power of Being New: A Proven Recipe for High Impact (https://hazelweakly.me/blog/the-power-of-being-new--a-proven-recipe-for-high-impact/#the-power-of-being-new-a-proven-recipe-for-high-impact) How to ask good questions (https://jvns.ca/blog/good-questions/) Transcript:  JOËL: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Bike Shed, a weekly podcast from your friends at thoughtbot about developing great software. I'm Joël Quenneville. STEPHANIE: And I'm Stephanie Minn. And together, we're here to share a bit of what we've learned along the way. JOËL: So, Stephanie, what's new in your world? STEPHANIE: So, if it has not been clear about just kind of the things I'm mentioning on the podcast the past few weeks, I've been obsessed with naming things lately [chuckles] and just thinking about how to name things, and, yeah, just really excited about...or even just having fun with that more than I used to be as a dev. And I found a really cool resource called "Classnames." Well, it's like just a little website that a designer and developer shared from kind of as an offshoot from his personal website. I'll link it in the show notes. But it's basically just a list of common names that are very useful for programming or even design. It's just to help you find some inspiration when you're stuck trying to find a name for something. And they're general or abstract enough that, you know, it's almost like kind of like a design pattern but a naming pattern [laughs], I suppose. JOËL: Ooh. STEPHANIE: Yeah, right? And so, there's different categories. Like, here's a bunch of words that kind of describe collections. So, if you need to find the name for a containment or a group of things, here's a bunch of kind of words in the English language that might be inspiring. And then, there's also other categories like music for describing kind of the pace or arrangement of things. Fashion, words from fashion can describe, like, the size of things. You know, we talk about T-shirt sizes when we are estimating work. And yeah, I thought it was really cool that there's both things that draw on, you know, domains that most people know in real life, and then also things that are a little more abstract. But yeah, "Classnames" by Paul Robert Lloyd — that's been a fun little resource for me lately. JOËL: Very cool. Have you ever played around at all with using AI to help you come up with the naming? STEPHANIE: I have not. But I know that you and other people in my world have been enjoying using AI for inspiration when they feel a little bit stuck on something and kind of asking like, "Oh, like, how could I name something that is, like, a group of things?" or, you know, a prompt like that. I suspect that that would also be very helpful. JOËL: I've been having fun using that to help me come up with good names for D&D characters, and sometimes they're a little bit on the nose. But if I sort of describe my character, and what's their vibe, and a little bit of, like, what they do and their background, and, like, I've built this whole, like, persona, and then, I just ask the AI, "Hey, what might be some good names for this?" And the AI will give me a bunch of names along with some reasoning for why they think that would be a good match. So, it might be like, oh, you know, the person's name is, I don't know, Starfighter because it evokes their connection to the night sky or whatever because that was a thing that I put in the background. And so, it's really interesting. And sometimes they're, like, just a little too obvious. Like, you don't want, you know, Joe Fighter because he's a fighter. STEPHANIE: And his name is Joe [laughs]. JOËL: Yeah, but some of them are pretty good. STEPHANIE: Cool. Joël, what's new in your world? JOËL: I guess in this episode of how often does Joël think about the Roman Empire... STEPHANIE: Oh my gosh [laughs]. JOËL: Yes [laughs]. STEPHANIE: Spoiler: it's every day [laughs]. JOËL: Whaaat? There's a blog that I enjoy reading from a Roman historian. It's called "A Collection of Unmitigated Pedantry", acoup.blog. He's recently been doing an article series on not the Romans, but rather some of these different societies that are around them, and talking a little bit about a distinction that he calls sort of non-state peoples versus states in the ancient Mediterranean. And what exactly is that distinction? Why does it matter? And those are terms I've heard thrown around, but I've never really, like, understood them. And so, he's, like, digging into a thing that I've had a question about for a while that I've been really appreciating. STEPHANIE: Can you give, like, the reader's digest for me? JOËL: For him, it's about who has the ability to wield violence legitimately. In a state, sort of the state has a monopoly on violence. Whereas in non-state organizations, oftentimes, it's much more personal, so you might have very different sort of nobles or big men who are able to raise, let's say, private armies and wage private war on each other, and that's not seen as, like, some, like, big breakdown of society. It's a legitimate use of force. It's just accepted that that's how society runs. As opposed to in a state, if a, you know, wealthy person decided to raise a private army, that would be seen as a big problem, and the state would either try to put you down or, like, more generally, society would, like, see you as having sort of crossed a line you shouldn't have crossed. STEPHANIE: Hmm, cool. I've been reading a lot of medieval fantasy lately, so this is kind of tickling my brain in that way when I think about, like, what drives different characters to do things, and kind of what the consequences of those things are. JOËL: Right. I think it would be really fascinating to sort of project this framework forwards and look at the European medieval period through that lens. It seems to me that, at least from a basic understanding, that the sort of feudal system seems to be very much in that sort of non-state category. So, I'd be really interested to see sort of a deeper analysis of that. And, you know, maybe he'll do an addendum to this series. Right now, he's mostly looking at the Gauls, the Celtiberians, and the Germanic tribes during the period of the Roman Republic. STEPHANIE: Cool. Okay. Well, I also await the day when you somehow figure how this relates to software [laughter] and inevitably make some mind-blowing connection and do a talk about it [laughs]. JOËL: I mean, theming is always fun. There's a talk that I saw years ago at Strange Loop that was looking at the defense policy of the Roman Emperor Diocletian and the Roman Emperor Constantine, and the ways that they sort of defended the borders of the empire and how they're very different, and then related it to how you might handle network security. STEPHANIE: Whaat? JOËL: And sort of like a, hey, are we using more of a Diocletian approach here, or are we using more of a Constantine approach here? And all of a sudden, just, like, having those labels to put on there and those stories that went with it made, like, what could be a really, like, dry security talk into something that I still remember 10 years later. STEPHANIE: Yeah. Yeah. We love stories. They're memorable. JOËL: So, I'll make sure to link that in the show notes. STEPHANIE: Very cool. JOËL: We've been talking a lot recently about my personal note system, where I keep a bunch of, like, small atomic notes that are all usually based around a single thesis statement. And I was going through that recently, and I found one that was kind of a little bit juicy. So, the thesis is that consultants are professional question-askers. And I'm curious, as a consultant yourself, how do you feel about that idea? STEPHANIE: Well, my first thought would be, how do I get paid to only ask in questions [laughs] or how to communicate in questions and not do anything else [laughs]? It's almost like I'm sure that there is some, like, fantasy character, you know, where it's like, there's some villain or just obstacle where you have this monster character who only talks in questions. And it's like a riddle that you have to solve [laughs] in order to get past. JOËL: I think it's called a three-year-old. STEPHANIE: Wow. Okay. Maybe a three-year-old can do my job then [laughter]. But I do think it's a juicy one, and it's very...I can't wait to hear how you got there, but I think my reaction is yes, like, I do be asking questions [laughs] when I join a project on a client team. And I was trying to separate, like, what kinds of questions I ask. And I kind of came away with a few different categories depending on, like, the stage of the engagement I'm in. But, you know, when I first join a team and when I'm first starting out consulting for a team, I feel like I just ask a lot of basic questions. Like, "Where's the Jira board [laughs]?" Like, "How do you do deployments here?" Like, "What kind of Git process do you use?" So, I don't know if those are necessarily the interesting ones. But I think one thing that has been nice is being a consultant has kind of stripped the fear of asking those questions because, I don't know, these are just things I need to know to do my work. And, like, I'm not as worried about, like, looking dumb or anything like that [laughs]. JOËL: Yeah. I think there's often a fear that asking questions might make you look incompetent or maybe will sort of undermine your appearance of knowing what you're talking about, and I think I've found that to be sort of the opposite. Asking a lot of questions can build more trust, both because it forces people to think about things that maybe they didn't think about, bring to light sort of implicit assumptions that everyone has, and also because it helps you to ramp up much more quickly and to be productive in a way that people really appreciate. STEPHANIE: Yeah. And I also think that putting those things in, like, a public and, like, documented space helps people in the future too, right? At least I am a power Slack searcher [laughs]. And whenever I am onboarding somewhere, one of the first places I go is just to search in Slack and see if someone has asked this question before. I think the next kind of category of question that I discerned was just, like, questions to understand how the team understands things. So, it's purely just to, like, absorb kind of like perspective or, like, a worldview this team has about their codebase, or their work, or whatever. So, I think those questions manifest as just like, "Oh, like, you know, I am curious, like, what do you think about how healthy your codebase is? Or what kinds of bugs is your team, like, dealing with?" Just trying to get a better understanding of like, what are the challenges that this team is facing in their own words, especially before I even start to form my own opinions. Well, okay, to be honest, I probably am forming my own opinions, like, on the side [laughs], but I really try hard to not let that be the driver of how I'm showing up and especially in the first month I'm starting on a new team. JOËL: Would you say these sorts of questions are more around sort of social organization or, like, how a team approaches work, that sort of thing? Or do you classify more technical questions in this category? So, like, "Hey, tell me a little bit about your philosophy around testing." Or we talked in a recent episode "What value do you feel you get out of testing?" as a question to ask before even, like, digging into the implementation. STEPHANIE: Yeah, I think these questions, for me, sit at, like, the intersection of both social organization and technical questions because, you know, asking something like, "What's the value of testing for your team?" That will probably give me information about how their test suite is like, right? Like, what kinds of tests they are writing and kind of the quality of them maybe. And it also tells me about, yeah, like, maybe the reasons why, like, they only have just unit tests or maybe, like, just [inaudible 12:31] test, or whatever. And I think all of that is helpful information. And then, that's actually a really...I like the distinction you made because I feel like then the last category of questions that I'll mention, for now, feels like more geared towards technical, especially the questions I ask to debunk assumptions that might be held by the team. And I feel like that's like kind of the last...the evolution of my question-asking. Because I have, hopefully, like, really absorbed, like, why, you know, people think the way they do about some of these, you know, about their code and start to poke a little bit on being like, "Why do you think, you know, like, this problem space has to be modeled this way?" And that has served me well as a consultant because, you know, once you've been at an organization for a while, like, you start to take a lot of things for granted about just having to always be this way, you know, it's like, things just are the way they are. And part of the power of, you know, being this kind of, like, external observer is starting to kind of just like, yeah, be able to question that. And, you know, at the end of day, like, we choose not to change something, but I think it's very powerful to be able to at least, like, open up that conversation. JOËL: Right. And sometimes you open up that conversation, and what you get is a link to a big PR discussion or a Wiki or something where that discussion has already been had. And then, that's good for you and probably good for anybody else who has that question as well. STEPHANIE: I'm curious, for you, though, like, this thesis statement, atomic note, did you have notes around it, or was it just, like, you dropped it in there [laughs]? JOËL: So, I have a few things, one is that when you come in as a consultant, and, you know, we're talking here about consultants because that's what we do. I think this is probably true for most people onboarding, especially for non-junior roles where you're coming in, and there's an assumption of expertise, but you need to onboard onto a project. This is just particularly relevant for us as consultants because we do this every six months instead of, you know, a senior developer who's doing this maybe every two to three years. So, the note that I have here is that when you're brought on, clients they expect expertise in a technology, something like Ruby on Rails or, you know, just the web environment in general. They don't expect you as a consultant to be an expert in their domain or their practices. And so, when you really engage with this sort of areas that are new by asking a lot of questions, that's the thing that's really valuable, especially if those questions are coming from a place of experience in other similar things. So, maybe asking some questions around testing strategies because you've seen three or four other ways that work or don't work or that have different trade-offs. Even asking about, "Hey, I see we went down a particular path, technically. Can you walk me through what were the trade-offs that we evaluated and why we decided this was the path that was valuable for us?" That's something that people really appreciate from outside experts. Because it shows that you've got experience in those trade-offs, that you've thought the deeper thoughts beyond just shipping the next ticket. And sometimes they've made the decisions without actually thinking through the trade-offs. And so, that can be an opening for a conversation of like, "Hey, well, we just went down this path because we saw a blog article that recommended this, or we just did this because it felt right. Talk us through the trade-offs." And now maybe you have a conversation on, "Hey, here are the trade-offs that you're doing. Let me know if this sounds right for your organization. If not, maybe you want to consider changing some things or tweaking your approach." And I think that is valuable sort of at the big level where you're thinking about how the team is structured, how different parts of work is done, the technical architecture, but it also is valuable at the small level as well. STEPHANIE: Yeah, 100%. There is a blog post I really like by Hazel Weakly, and it's called "The Power of Being New: A Proven Recipe for High Impact." And one thing that she says at the beginning that I really enjoy is that even though, like, whenever you start on a new team there's always that little bit of pressure of starting to deliver immediate value, right? But there's something really special about that period where no one expects you to do anything, like, super useful immediately [laughs]. And I feel like it is both a fleeting time and, you know, I'm excited to continue this conversation of, like, how to keep integrating that even after you're no longer new. But I like to use that time to just identify, while I have nothing really on my plate, like, things that might have just been overlooked or just people have gotten used to that sometimes is, honestly, like, can be a quick fix, right? Like, just, I don't know, deleting a piece of dead code that you're seeing is no longer used but just gets fallen off other people's plates. I really enjoy those first few weeks, and people are almost, like, always so appreciative, right? They're like, "Oh my gosh, I have been meaning to do that." Or like, "Great find." And these are things that, like I said, just get overlooked when you are, yeah, kind of busy with other things that now are your responsibility. JOËL: You're talking about, like, that feeling of can you add value in the, like, initial time that you join. And I think that sometimes it can be easy to think that, oh, the only value you can add is by, like, shipping code. I think that being sort of noisy and asking a lot of questions in Slack is often a great way to add value, especially at first. STEPHANIE: Yeah, agreed. JOËL: Ideally, I think you come in, and you don't sort of slide in under the radar as, like, a new person on the team. Like, you come in, and everybody knows you're there because you are, like, spamming the channel with questions on all sorts of things and getting people to either link you to resources they have or explaining different topics, especially anything domain-related. You know, you're coming in with an outside expertise in a technology. You are a complete new person at the business and the problem domain. And so, that's an area where you need to ask a lot of questions and ramp up quickly. STEPHANIE: Yes. I have a kind of side topic. I guess it's not a side topic. It's about asking questions, so it's relevant [laughs]. But one thing that I'm curious about is how do you approach kind of doing this in a place where question asking is not normalized and maybe other people are less comfortable with kind of people asking questions openly and in public? Like, how do you set yourself up to be able to ask questions in a way that doesn't lead to just, like, some just, like, suspicion or discomfort about, like, why you're asking those questions? JOËL: I think that's the beauty of the consultant title. When an organization brings in outside experts, they kind of expect you to ask questions. Or maybe it's not an explicit expectation, but when they see you asking a lot of questions, it sort of, I think, validates a lot of things that they expect about what an outside expert should be. So, asking a lot of questions of trying to understand your business, asking a lot of questions to try to understand the technical architecture, asking questions around, like, some subtle edge cases or trade-offs that were made in the technical architecture. These are all things that help clients feel like they're getting value for the money from an outside expert because that's what you want an outside expert to do is to help you question some of your assumptions, to be able to leverage their, like, general expertise in a technology by applying it to your specific situation. I've had situations where I'll ask, like, a very nuanced, deep technical question about, like, "Hey, so there's, like, this one weird edge case that I think could potentially happen. How do we, like, think through about this?" And one of the, like, more senior people on the team who built the initial codebase responded, like, almost, like, proud that I've discovered this, like, weird edge case, and being like, "Oh yeah, that was a thing that we did think about, and here's why. And it's really cool that, like, day one you're, like, just while reading through the code and were like, 'Oh, this thing,' because it took us, like, a month of thinking about it before we stumbled across that." So, it was a weird kind of fun interaction where as a new person rolling on, one of the more experienced devs in the codebase almost felt, like, proud of me for having found that. STEPHANIE: I like that, yeah. I feel like a lot of the time...it's like, it's so easy to ask questions to help people feel seen, to be like, "Oh yeah, like, I noticed this." And, you know, if you withhold any kind of, like, judgment about it when you ask the question, people are so willing to be like, yeah, like you said, like, "Oh, I'm glad you saw that." Or like, "Isn't that weird? Like, I was feeling, you know, I saw that, too." Or, like, it opens it up, I think, for building trust, which, again, like, I don't even think this is something that you necessarily need to be new to even do. But if at any point you feel like, you know, maybe your working relationship with someone could be better, right? To the point where you feel like you're, like, really on the same page, yeah, ask questions [laughs]. It can be that easy. JOËL: And I think what can be really nice is, in an environment where question asking is not normalized, coming in and doing that can help sort of provide a little bit of cover to other people who are feeling less comfortable or less safe doing that. So, maybe there's a lot of junior members on the team who are feeling not super confident in themselves and are afraid that asking questions might undermine their position in the company. But me coming in as a sort of senior consultant and asking a lot of those questions can then help normalize that as a thing because then they can look and say, "Oh, well he's asking all these questions. Maybe I can ask my question, and it'll be okay." STEPHANIE: I also wanted to talk about setting yourself up and asking questions to get a good answer, asking good questions to get useful answers. One thing that has worked really well for me in the past few months has been sharing why I'm asking the question. And I think this goes back to a little bit of what I was hinting at earlier. If the culture is not really used to people asking questions and that just being a thing that is normal, sharing a bit of intention can help, like, ease maybe some nervousness that people might feel. Especially as consultants, we also are in a bit of a, I don't know, like, there is some power dynamics occasionally where it's like, oh, like, the consultants are here. Like, what are they going to come in and change or, like, start, you know, doing to, quote, unquote, "improve", whatever, I don't know [laughs]. JOËL: Right, right. STEPHANIE: Yeah, that's the consultant archetype, I think. Anyway. JOËL: Just coming in and being like, "Oh, this is bad, and this is bad, and you're doing it wrong." STEPHANIE: [laughs] JOËL: Ooh, I would be ashamed if I was the author of this code. STEPHANIE: Yeah, my hot take is that that is a bad consultant [laughs]. But maybe I'll say, like, "I am looking for some examples of this pattern. Where can I find them [laughs]?" Or "I've noticed that the team is struggling with, like, this particular part of the codebase, and I am thinking about improving it. What are some of your biggest challenges, like, working with this, like, model?" something like that. And I think this also goes back to, like, proving value, right? Even if it's like, sometimes I know kind of what I want to do, and I'll try to be explicit about that. But even before I have, like, a clear action item, I might just say like, "I'm thinking about this," you know, to convey that, you know, I'm still in that information gathering stage, but the result of that will be useful to help me with whatever kind of comes out of it. JOËL: A lot of it is about, like, genuine curiosity and an amount of empathetic listening. Existing team knows a lot about both the code and the business. And as a consultant coming on or maybe even a more senior person onboarding onto a team, the existing team has so much that they can give you to help you be better at your job. STEPHANIE: I was also revisiting a really great blog post from Julia Evans about "How to Ask Good Questions." And this one is more geared towards asking technical questions that have, like, kind of a maybe more straightforward answer. But she included a few other strategies that I liked a lot. And, frankly, I feel like I want to be even better at finding the right time to ask questions [laughs] and finding the right person to ask those questions to. I definitely get in the habit of just kind of like, I don't know, I'll just put it out there and [laughs], hopefully, get some answers. But there are definitely ways, I think, that you can be more strategic, right? About identifying who might be the best person to provide the answers you're looking for. And I think another thing that I often have to balance in the consulting position is when to know when to, like, stop kind of asking the really big questions because we just don't have time [laughs]. JOËL: Right. You don't want to be asking questions in a way that's sort of undermining the product, or the decisions that are being made, or the work that has to get done. Ideally, the questions that you're asking are helping move the project forward in a positive way. Nobody likes the, you know, just asking kind of person. That person's annoying. STEPHANIE: Do you have an approach or any thoughts about like, once you get an answer, like, what do you do with that? Yeah, what happens then for you? JOËL: I guess there's a lot of different ways it can go. A potential way if it's just, like, an answer explained in Slack, is maybe saying, "We should document this." Or maybe even like, "Is this documented anywhere? If not, can I add that documentation somewhere?" And maybe that's, you know, a code comment that we want to add. Maybe that's an entry to the Wiki. Maybe that's updating the README. Maybe that's adding a test case. But converting that into something actionable can often be a really good follow-up. STEPHANIE: Yeah, I think that mitigates the just asking [laughs] thing that you were saying earlier, where it's like, you know, the goal isn't to ask questions to then make more work for other people, right? It's to ask questions so, hopefully, you're able to take that information and do something valuable with it. JOËL: Right. Sometimes it can be a sort of setup for follow-up questions. You get some information and you're like, okay, so, it looks like we do have a pattern for interacting with third-party APIs, but we're not using it consistently. Tell me a little bit about why that is. Is that a new pattern that we've introduced and we're trying to, like, get more buy-in from the team? Is this a pattern that we used to have, and we found out we didn't like it? So, we stopped using it, but we haven't found a replacement pattern that we like. And so, now we're just kind of...it's a free-for-all, and we're trying to figure it out. Maybe there's two competing patterns, and there is this, like, weird politics within the tech team where they're sort of using one or the other, and that's something I'm going to have to be careful to navigate. So, asking some of those follow-up questions and once you have a technical answer can yield a lot of really interesting information and then help you think about how you can be impactful on the organization. STEPHANIE: And that sounds like advice that's just true, you know, regardless of your role or how long you've been in it, don't you think? JOËL: I would say yes. If you've been in the role a long time, though, you're the person who has that sort of institutional history in your mind. You know that in 2022, we switched over from one framework to another. You know that we used to have this, like, very opinionated architect who mandated a particular pattern, and then we moved away from it. You know that we were all in on this big feature last summer that we released and then nobody used it, and then the business pivoted, but there's still aspects of it that are left around. Those are things that someone knew onboarding doesn't know and that, hopefully, they're asking questions that you can then answer. STEPHANIE: Have you been in the position where you have all that, like, institutional knowledge? And then, like, how do you maintain that sense of curiosity or just that sense of kind of, like, what you're talking about, that superpower that you get when you're new of being able to just, you know, kind of question why things are the way they are? JOËL: It's hard, right? We're talking about how do you keep that sort of almost like a beginner's mindset, in this case, maybe less of a, like, new coder mindset and more of a new hire mindset. It's something that I think is much more front of mind for me because I rotate onto new clients every, like, 6 to 12 months. And so, I don't have very long to get comfortable before I'm immediately thrown into, like, a new situation. But something that I like to do is to never sort of solely be in one role or the other, a sort of, like, experienced person helping others or the new person asking for help. Likely, you are not going to be the newest person on the team for long. Maybe you came on as a cohort and you've got a group of new people, all of whom are asking different questions. And maybe somebody is asking a question that you've asked before, that you've asked in a different channel or on a call with someone. Or maybe someone joins two weeks after you; you don't have deep institutional knowledge. But if you've been asking a lot of questions, you've been building a lot of that for yourself, and you have a little bit that you can share to the next person who knows even less than you do. And that's an approach that I took even as an apprentice developer. When I was, like, brand new to Rails and I was doing an internship, and another intern joined me a couple of weeks after, and I was like, "You know what? I barely know anything. But I know what an instance variable is. And I can help you write a controller action. Let's pair on that. We'll figure it out. And, you know, ask me another question next week. I might have more answers for you." So, I guess a little bit of paying it forward. STEPHANIE: Yeah, I really like that advice, though, of, like, switching up the role or, like, kind of what you're working on, just finding opportunities to practice that, you know, even if you have been somewhere for a long time. I think that is really interesting advice. And it's hard, too, right? Because that requires, like, doing something new, and doing something new can be hard [laughs]. But if you're, you know, aren't in a consultant role, where you're not rotating onto new projects every 6 to 12 months, that, I feel like, would be a good strategy to grow in that particular way. JOËL: And even if you're not switching companies or in a consulting situation, it's not uncommon to have people switch from one team to another within an organization. And new team might mean new dynamics. That team might be doing a slightly different approach to project management. Their part of the code might be structured slightly differently. They might be dealing with a part of the business domain that you're less familiar with. While that might not be entirely new to you because, you know, you know a little bit of the organization's DNA and you understand the organization's mission and their core product, there are definitely a lot of things that will be new to you, and asking those questions becomes important. STEPHANIE: I also have another kind of, I don't know, it's not even a strategy. It's just a funny thing that I do where, like, my memory is so poor that, like, even code I wrote, you know, a month ago, I'm like, oh, what was past Stephanie thinking here [laughs]? You know, questioning myself a little bit, right? And being willing to do that and recognizing that, like, I have information now that I didn't have in the past. And, like, can that be useful somehow? You know, it's like, the code I wrote a month ago is not set in stone. And I think that's one way I almost, like, practice that skill with myself [laughs]. And yeah, it has helped me combat that, like, things are the way they are mentality, which, generally, I think is a very big blocker [laughs] when it comes to software development, but that's a topic for another day [laughs]. JOËL: I like the idea of questioning yourself, and I think that's something that is a really valuable skill for all developers. I think it can come up in things like documentation. Let's say you're leaving a comment on a method, especially one that's a bit weird, being able to answer that "Why was this weird technical decision made?" Or maybe you do this in your PR description, or your commit message, or in any of the other places where you do this, not just sort of shipping the code as is, but trying to look at it from an outsider's eyes. And being like, what are the areas where they're going to, like, get a quizzical look and be like, "Why is this happening? Why did you make this choice?" Bonus points if you talked a little bit about the trade-offs that were decided on to say, "Hey, there were two different implementations available for this. I chose to take implementation A because I like this set of trade-offs better." That's gold. And, I guess, as a reviewer, if I'm seeing that in a PR, that's going to make my job a lot easier. STEPHANIE: Yes. Yeah, I never thought about it that way, but yeah, I guess I do kind of apply, you know, the things that I would kind of ask to other team members to myself sometimes. And that is...it's cool to hear that you really appreciate that because I always kind of just did it for myself [laughs], but yeah, I'm sure that it, like, is helpful for other people as well. JOËL: I guess you were asking what are ways that you can ask questions even when you are more established. And talking about these sorts of self-reflective questions in the context of review got me thinking that PRs are a great place to ask questions. They're great when you're a newcomer. One of the things I like to do when I'm new on a project is do a lot of PR reviews so I can just see the weird things that people are working on and ask a lot of questions about the patterns. STEPHANIE: Yep. Same here. JOËL: Do a lot of code reading. But that's a thing that you can keep doing and asking a lot of questions on PRs and not in a, like, trying to undermine what the person is doing, but, like, genuine questions, I think, is a great way to maintain that mindset. STEPHANIE: Yeah, yeah, agreed. And I think when I've seen it done well, it's like, you get to be engaged and involved with the rest of your team, right? And you kind of have a bit of an idea about what people are working on. But you're also kind of entrusting them with ownership of that work. Like, you don't need to be totally in the weeds and know exactly how every method works. But, you know, you can be curious about like, "Oh, like, what were you thinking about this?" Or like, "What about this pattern appeals to you?" And all of that information, I think, helps you become a better, like, especially a senior developer, but also just, like, a leader on the team, I think. JOËL: Yeah, especially the questions around like, "Oh, walk me through some of the trade-offs that you chose for this method." And, you know, for maybe a person who's more senior, that's great. They have an opportunity to, like, talk about the decisions they made and why. That's really useful information. For a more junior person, maybe they've never thought about it. They're like, "Oh, wait, there are trade-offs here?" and now that's a great learning opportunity for them. And you don't want to come at it from a place of judgment of like, oh, well, clearly, you know, you're a terrible developer because you didn't think about the performance implications of this method. But if you come at it from a place of, like, genuine curiosity and sort of assuming the best of people on the team and being willing to work alongside them, help them discover some new concepts...maybe they've never, like, interacted so much with performance trade-offs, and now you get to have a conversation. And they've learned a thing, and everybody wins. STEPHANIE: Yeah. And also, I think seeing people ask questions that way helps more junior folks also learn when to ask those kinds of questions, even if they don't know the answer, right? But maybe they start kind of pattern matching. Like, oh, like, there might be some other trade-offs to consider with this kind of code, but I don't know what they are yet. But now I know to at least start asking and find someone who can help me determine that. And when I've seen that, that has been always, like, just so cool because it's upskilling happening [laughs] in practice. JOËL: Exactly. I love that phrase that you said: "Asking questions where you don't know the answers," which I think is the opposite of what lawyers are taught to do. I think lawyers the mantra they have is you never ask a witness a question that you don't know the answer to. But I like to flip that for developers. Ask a lot of questions on PRs where you don't know the answer, and you'll grow, and the author will grow. And this is true across experience levels. STEPHANIE: That's one of my favorite parts about being a developer, and maybe that's why I will never be a lawyer [laughter]. JOËL: On that note, I have a question maybe I do know the answer to. Shall we wrap up? STEPHANIE: Let's wrap up. Show notes for this episode can be found at bikeshed.fm. JOËL: This show has been produced and edited by Mandy Moore. STEPHANIE: If you enjoyed listening, one really easy way to support the show is to leave us a quick rating or even a review in iTunes. It really helps other folks find the show. JOËL: If you have any feedback for this or any of our other episodes, you can reach us @_bikeshed, or you can reach me @joelquen on Twitter. STEPHANIE: Or reach both of us at hosts@bikeshed.fm via email. JOËL: Thanks so much for listening to The Bike Shed, and we'll see you next week. ALL: Byeeeeeeee!!!!!!! AD: Did you know thoughtbot has a referral program? If you introduce us to someone looking for a design or development partner, we will compensate you if they decide to work with us. More info on our website at: tbot.io/referral. Or you can email us at: referrals@thoughtbot.com with any questions.

In this pod, the SaD Boys discuss how we frame giving menswear feedback, advice, and critique! We go into how important it is for Askers to set intentional goals, how Advice Givers should function as guides and help guide the conversation, and how we should all focus on building Awareness and experience to help achieve a POV. Because in the end, how else are we supposed to separate the good advice from the bad? Ethan's Essay: https://alittlebitofrest.com/2024/06/03/on-approaching-feedback-critique-advice/ Support us on Patreon and join the Discord: https://www.patreon.com/styleanddirection/ Follow us on Instagram! @StyleandDirection @EthanMWong @SpencerDSO Podcast is produced by MJ Kintanar

Have you ever wondered why communicating with certain people is so easy, while talking with others feels impossible? You might be surprised to know that it often boils down to a poor understanding of how communication works. Many of us tend to misinterpret the things people say and do; which influences the way we see, think about, and treat them.In this episode, we're gonna talk about a simple way to quickly recognize what type of person you're speaking with, and easily adapt to their way of communicating. — This episode will completely change your perspective on the art of communication.For access to transcripts, PDF study guides, and bonus podcast episodes, subscribe on Patreon!

Origins Podcast WebsiteFlourishing Commons Newsletter and the post introducing Great AskingShow Notes:Sara Hendren's Origins Conversationstart of a living conversation (05:20)Ignorance by Stuart Firestein (06:00)questions are the oxygen of imagination (08:00)curiosity is a moral muscle (10:10)The Division of Cognitive Laborby Philip Kitcher (09:20)Sara's substack (10:40)Howard Gardner (11:20)Participatory readiness Danielle Allen (16:40)Living the Questions with Krista (23:30)questions and a state of receptivity (30:20)Sara's blog on voice memos (37:00)vagus nerve (37:00)neuroplasticity (37:30)Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke (45:00)The Virtues of Limits by David McPherson (53:30)the healing is in the return - Sharon Salzberg (55:00)Proust QuestionnaireLightning Round (57:30):Overrated virtue: (Krista) independence; (Sara) fortitude as opposed to true courageWords or phrases to retire: (Krista) losing generative to AI; (Sara) communityValuing in friends: (Krista) laughter; (Sara) longevityLowest depth of misery: (Krista) when imagination shuts down; (Sara) tyranny of inwardness and the lie of aloneness (St. Augustine) Find Sara and Krista online:SaraKristaLogo artwork by Cristina GonzalezMusic by Agasthya Pradhan Shenoy (Swelo)

In the final installment of her interview, Vanessa Patrick ("The Power of Saying No") gives us tips for turning down the pushy people in our lives.

Vanessa Patrick: The Power of Saying No Vanessa Patrick is the Associate Dean for Research, Executive Director of Doctoral Programs, a Bauer Professor of Marketing and lead faculty of the Executive Women in Leadership Program at the Bauer School of Business at the University of Houston. She has been recognized with a number of awards for both scholarship and teaching and was named one of the top 50 most productive marketing scholars worldwide by the DocSig of the American Marketing Association. Vanessa was appointed as a Fulbright Specialist (2019-24) by the U.S. Department of State, Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs. She is a prominent scholar in her field and serves on editorial and policy boards of leading academic journals. She is currently an Associate Editor for the Journal of Marketing Research and the Journal of Marketing and she's the author of The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You in Charge of Your Life*. Most leaders know that it's important to say no to requests that aren't the right use of time and resources. But how do you navigate this when the other party is likely to respond in a difficult way? In this conversation, Vanessa and I explore the patterns of difficult askers and how we can do a better job of responding when we're interacting with them. Key Points We all have both marigolds and walnut trees in our lives. Marigold protect and strengthen us - walnut trees crowd out our time and interfere. Difficult askers often confront us with face-to-face requests, use their home court advantage, and insist on an immediate response. Pushback is normal and expected. It's helpful to view it as a hurdle to overcome vs. something to avoid. Either way, we will spend the energy. Resentment is a helpful indicator that difficult askers are taking too much power. Establish personal polices that provide guidelines so you can proactively come back to values when considering requests. It's helpful to consider advance requests in the context of fulfilling the commitment immediately, otherwise we'll continue to feel the pressure of resentment and Resources Mentioned The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You in Charge of Your Life* by Vanessa Patrick Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Say No Without Saying No, with Lois Frankel (episode 471) How to Speak Up, with Connson Locke (episode 546) How to Help People Speak Truth to Power, with Megan Reitz (episode 597) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

How do you ask a good question? This week, Jess and Aaron talk about 5-cent vs. 25-cent questions, tempo, performance question-asking, prioritizing curiosity over confidence, checking for clarification, and signposting. They don't talk about Gang Starr. references Aaron's Lullaby Revisiting Critical Nonsense 174! Askers vs. Guessers and Working Hours Harvard Business Review: The Surprising Power of Questions The New York Times: The 36 Questions That Lead to Love Ryan Hall, Y'all America's Test Kitchen 

What do you think are the right places to deploy euphemisms, or should we abandon them altogether? How harmful is it to use euphemisms, and why not err on their side just in case? And, if we took all the euphemisms off the table, what do we do with language next? This week, Joey, Jess, and Aaron try out a new Exquisite Corpse segment where they pass along a conversation to each other one thought at a time. They talk about tech layoffs, pooping and peeing, the Space Shuttle Challenger, unreceptive audiences, buying used cars, the joy of playing with language, and protective speech. They don't talk about exquisite jorps. references Explaining Exquisite Corpse, the Surrealist Drawing Game That Just Won't Die The Space Shuttle Challenger disaster Revisiting Critical Nonsense 174! Askers vs. Guessers and Working Hours "Terminological inexactitude" 

Historier från Hälsingland presenterar årets julkalender – I väntan på Hustomten. I väntan på hustomten är  en programserie i 25 delar, ett avsnitt varje dag ända fram till juldagen. Avsnittsteman varierar med allt från folktro och väsen till märkliga livsöden och kallblodiga mördare. Varje avsnitt innehåller en eller flera historier vars gemensamma nämnare är landskapet Hälsingland.  I dagens avsnitt binder vi samman två landskap och möter två olika rådare, Ysätters-Kajsa från Askers socken i Närke och Stormor i Hälgberg från Järvsö socken.  Producent och programledare Robert Fors. Inläsare Fredrik Bäck.  Grafiker Thomas Evensson. Vi vill också rikta ett stort tack till bibliotekarie Johan Arvidsson för ett fint mottagande på Odensbackens bibliotek.  Vill du stödja podden? SWISH 1235672431 Bankgiro 5111-9261 Ett nytt avsnitt av julkalendern släpps varje dag kl. 06:00 ända fram till juldagen. Följ oss gärna på Instagram och facebook samt besök vår hemsida historierfranhalsingland.se ERBJUDANDE! Den 3 februari 2023 släpps boken "Gåtfulla Hälsingland" vilket är en fristående uppföljare till succéboken ”Mytomspunna platser i Hälsingland”.  Boken är en guide till några av landskapets mest mystiska, hemsökta och sägenomspunna besöksmål. Vi besöker spökhus och avrättningsplatser, tar del av lokala sägner och märklig folktro. Dessutom innehåller boken också ett avsnitt om smältgummor från Alfta.  Erbjudande 1. Boken ”Gåtfulla Hälsingland” + bonushäfte (fler besöksmål) 280 kr. Erbjudande 2. Boken ”Gåtfulla Hälsingland” + bonushäfte (fler besöksmål) + boken ”Mytomspunna platser i Hälsingland” 450 kr. Frakt ingår i priset. Köper du båda böckerna levereras båda samtidigt. SWISH 1235672431 Bankgiro 5111-9261 (glöm ej namn + adress)  Mer info pp vår hemsida.  Vill du boka en berättarkväll för dig, din förening eller företag? Mejla oss på historierfranhalsingland@gmail.com eller ring 0739937451 

Hey all, we're recording our 2022 Wrap up episode soon and we wanted to answer any questions you all may have for us about the pod/ourselves! Shoot a DM to @not3badpod on Instagram and I'll add it to the list to be answered!

Welcome to the premiere episode! Today we talked about communication.  Learning about Askers vs. Guessers can dramatically improve the productivity of your communication - and reduce unnecessary friction. Grandpa talking about the 5th Dimension:https://youtu.be/wxp03RETPQwHOSTSJANUS REDMOON is a 10-time Burner, and has spent the last several years as an advocate for psychedelic medicine research and treatment. He is the founder and CEO of NuWorld Nutritionals, a nutritional supplement company providing mushroom-based, all-natural products to improve and maintain health for both body and mind.BETSY FINKLEHOO is a healer of massage therapy, CranioSacral and Dharma Coaching. She is an 8 year burner and has spent the last several years seeped in the personal development world, cultivating her passion for transformation and growth. Her recent project, The Power Affirmation Journal and virtual group empowers women to cultivate self awareness and healthy habits so they can live in greater freedom, mind body and spirit..HALCYON is full-time Love Ambassador. He is the founder of Hug Nation youtube channel and daily zoom gratitude circles. He is co-founder of the Pink Heart Burning Man camp and the 1st Saturdays project for people experiencing homelessness. In his free time he coaches groups and individuals on how to live joyfully and authentically.

Chrstian Fosse fortelller om reisen til A laget til Lillehammer og videre til Askers stolthet.

Alex McDowell is a worldbuilder. He builds future realities to envision worlds that don't yet exist. By working across disciplines to imagine the future, his worlds inform and inspire stories and open eyes to new possibilities. Origins Podcast websiteShow Notes: Quaker meeting (09:40)EmpowermentThe skills of listening and gathering (11:40)The politics of your social experience (12:10)Worldbuilding"Storytelling Shapes the Future" Every world is a holistic system at multiple scalesMinority Report (22:00)Triangle of narrative design (27:00)Relationship to complex systems (27:30)Counterfactuals to explore a world (27:50)Cultivating interdisciplinary collaboration in teams (28:00)Scenius (29:00)Building enough of a framework to know what we don't know (31:00)Teaching (40:00)The literacies of worldbuildingWork collaboratively in the space of uncertaintyExperimental Design company (44:30)Great 'Askers' (49:00)Balancing curiosity and boredom (51:00)MIT Media Lab (52:00)Scott Fisher (52:30)Falling forward (55:00)Lightning round (55:15)Book: Neuromancer by William GibsonCognitive estrangementPassion: GuitarHeart sing: New language for molecular biologyScrewed up: Graphic design for record labelsFind Alex online:Twitter: @worldbldgWebsite: https://alexmcdowell.design/'Five-Cut Fridays' five-song music playlist series  Alex's playlist

Today's episode is going to be a doozy as I talk to you once again about one of my absolute favorite topics – boundaries. This time, I'm adding in the component of effective communication as well and the impact it has on boundaries, so buckle up! I start by reviewing my well known love of boundaries, and then explain nonviolent communication and the impact that our caregivers' responses to our needs as children have upon our ability to communicate needs and set boundaries later on in life. We'll also explore family culture, codependency, and emotionally clean transactions through a fascinating analysis of ‘Ask Culture vs. Guess Culture' which I have recently discovered. As you will hear, this topic is extremely important to me, not just professionally, but personally as well, and that is precisely why I am so very passionate about this episode. Join me today, and let's learn together more about ourselves, and how we can enhance all of our relationships with effective communication.   The Finer Details of This Episode: Having boundaries and knowing when to keep them strong and when to bend them is everything Nonviolent communication is a way to get your needs met through effective communication How our caregivers responded to our needs has everything to do with how we communicate our needs and how we set boundaries, and when our caregivers respond poorly to our emotional needs, we grow up with horrible boundaries Your family culture determines how good or bad you are at boundaries Making people guess at what you're thinking or feeling is not a style of communication, it's a dysfunction in your family culture Guessers think that somehow they're responsible for your feelings Nobody is so clairvoyant that they can tell what a person is thinking or feeling at all times Healthy askers accept ‘No' for an answer We re drawn to people that make us have to work through our shit In a emotionally clean transaction, you don't have to explain yourself Codependency is defined by investing a lot of time and energy in making sure the other person is not hurt, upset, or disappointed If anybody ever tells you, ‘See what you made me do? You made me…', that's a dysfunction and needs to be addressed.   Quotes: “I think boundaries are the secret sauce to life.” “Communication, communing, communion with other human beings in an effective way that gets both our needs met is the closest thing I know to holy – it's amazing.” “If you're a guesser, you're expecting me to read your mind.” “My family would turn on me…I was kicked out of the tribe. That's a really powerful motivator to not speak your truth.” “It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.” “Finding the need, I think, is the crux of all of this.”   Links: Jamie's homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/  Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie's Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Nonviolent Communication audiobook:  https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00TKMBJKE/ Ask Culture vs. Guess Culture Facebook link: https://www.facebook.com/MKEManKindProjectOpenMensGroup/posts/ask-culture-vs-guess-culture-were-you-able-to-ask-for-what-you-wanted-or-did-you/3105247169499428/ ‘The Invitation' link:  http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/

Today's episode is going to be a doozy as I talk to you once again about one of my absolute favorite topics – boundaries. This time, I'm adding in the component of effective communication as well and the impact it has on boundaries, so buckle up! I start by reviewing my well known love of boundaries, and then explain nonviolent communication and the impact that our caregivers' responses to our needs as children have upon our ability to communicate needs and set boundaries later on in life. We'll also explore family culture, codependency, and emotionally clean transactions through a fascinating analysis of ‘Ask Culture vs. Guess Culture' which I have recently discovered. As you will hear, this topic is extremely important to me, not just professionally, but personally as well, and that is precisely why I am so very passionate about this episode. Join me today, and let's learn together more about ourselves, and how we can enhance all of our relationships with effective communication.   The Finer Details of This Episode: Having boundaries and knowing when to keep them strong and when to bend them is everything Nonviolent communication is a way to get your needs met through effective communication How our caregivers responded to our needs has everything to do with how we communicate our needs and how we set boundaries, and when our caregivers respond poorly to our emotional needs, we grow up with horrible boundaries Your family culture determines how good or bad you are at boundaries Making people guess at what you're thinking or feeling is not a style of communication, it's a dysfunction in your family culture Guessers think that somehow they're responsible for your feelings Nobody is so clairvoyant that they can tell what a person is thinking or feeling at all times Healthy askers accept ‘No' for an answer We re drawn to people that make us have to work through our shit In a emotionally clean transaction, you don't have to explain yourself Codependency is defined by investing a lot of time and energy in making sure the other person is not hurt, upset, or disappointed If anybody ever tells you, ‘See what you made me do? You made me…', that's a dysfunction and needs to be addressed.   Quotes: “I think boundaries are the secret sauce to life.” “Communication, communing, communion with other human beings in an effective way that gets both our needs met is the closest thing I know to holy – it's amazing.” “If you're a guesser, you're expecting me to read your mind.” “My family would turn on me…I was kicked out of the tribe. That's a really powerful motivator to not speak your truth.” “It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.” “Finding the need, I think, is the crux of all of this.”   Links: Jamie's homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/  Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie's Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Nonviolent Communication audiobook:  https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00TKMBJKE/ Ask Culture vs. Guess Culture Facebook link: https://www.facebook.com/MKEManKindProjectOpenMensGroup/posts/ask-culture-vs-guess-culture-were-you-able-to-ask-for-what-you-wanted-or-did-you/3105247169499428/ ‘The Invitation' link:  http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Askers v Guessers, the 3 month mark debate and suction self pleasure. Hey Lifers!Today we are diving into asking whether you're an 'asker' or a 'guesser!'Or whether perhaps you exist on the scale and it changes depending on who you're interacting with!It's likely that you fit more into one category than the other, in a similar way to how you'd likely sit more in one camp of extraversion or introversion.First up though, we jump into the semi-viral question of whether or not you should fully commit to someone before the 3 month mark. Do you really know a person before this time or is it completely situational?We also have a listener update on whether or not it's okay to share sex toys with your friends!If you are looking for more information - where to buy merch, tickets to our live show or to pre order the book 'We Love Love,' visit our website.If you loved the episode, you know the drill - Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love... because.... WE LOVE LOVE!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Askers v Guessers, the 3 month mark debate and suction self pleasure.  Hey Lifers! Today we are diving into asking whether you're an 'asker' or a 'guesser!' Or whether perhaps you exist on the scale and it changes depending on who you're interacting with! It's likely that you fit more into one category than the other, in a similar way to how you'd likely sit more in one camp of extraversion or introversion. First up though, we jump into the semi-viral question of whether or not you should fully commit to someone before the 3 month mark. Do you really know a person before this time or is it completely situational? We also have a listener update on whether or not it's okay to share sex toys with your friends! If you are looking for more information - where to buy merch, tickets to our live show or to pre order the book 'We Love Love,' visit our website. If you loved the episode, you know the drill - Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love... because.... WE LOVE LOVE!

Our Nonprofit Show viewer's questions topics: Times of renewal | Get a 17% raise | Cause selling cycle | Advocates, Ambassadors, and Askers and more. Fundraising Academy CFRE Jack Alotto co-hosts too!Watch this episode on video: https://vimeo.com/americannonprofitacademy/ask-and-answer-0902This is a recent episode of The Nonprofit Show --the Nation's daily live telecast where the Nonprofit and Social Impact Community comes together each weekday discussing important topics-- from money to management to missions.If you lead or work for a nonprofit, social impact or service organization, or are thinking of starting a nonprofit--, TheNonprofitShow.com is an excellent resource of current nonprofit information and operating strategies to make your social impact amazing. Each weekday there are new guest experts on the fast-paced 30-minute LIVE show—with topics ranging across nonprofit boards, foundations, grant funding, volunteer managers, donor relations, fundraising experts, NPO marketing, grant writers, philanthropy donors, nonprofit legal and tax professionals, CFRE info, nonprofit donor and crm software, charity tax expertise, virtual galas, charity auctions, online nonprofit charity event programs, social impact strategic planning, fundraising and fund development, fiscal sponsorships, capital campaigns, community impact analysis, donation management, nonprofit jobs, donor advised funds, nonprofit HR, nonprofit classes,training, global NGO organizations, as well as nonprofit sector Thought Leaders.   AmericanNonprofitAcademy.com  provides our Nation's nonprofit social impact community collective News, Inspirations, and Training.

How does one navigate the journey from Ask Culture to Guess Culture, and vice versa? And what are your ideal working hours? [27:50] This week, Aaron, Jess, and Joey talk about privacy settings, politeness vs. safety, the Midwest, philosopher hours, exercise, and zoos. They don't talk about Tears For Fears. references Have we told you that we believe in a thing called The Darkness? Adam Neely: The most elegant key change in all of pop music Céline Dion's Emotional Breakdown While Performing "All By Myself" The legendary Space Cowboy Jay Kay In case you need some canned beans … Are You Ask Culture or Guess Culture? The Atlantic: 'Askers' vs. 'Guessers' Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott The New One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson Phineas Gage Legal Sciuridae 

Most people don't even know about this communication style, but if you did, you could solve a lot of problems in your relationships. You can learn to improve relationships by learning how to identify whether you are an asker or a guesser. This is a communication style that no one is talking about, but if you learn it, your life can change for the better. In guess culture style of communication you try to put out feelers, because you don't want to make someone uncomfortable by asking directly. You may hint at a request or subtly suggest something, and then only ask directly if you're pretty sure the answer will be yes. In guess culture you rely on shared cultural norms. For example in Greece, it is rude to leave food on your plate- it signals that you didn't like it. In China it is rude to clear your plate because it sends the message that there wasn't enough food offered. The subtleties of the culture allow for people to show respect and consideration for each other, but can lead to confusion for outsiders. Askers may hate this, but the reality is, a huge amount of communication is nonverbal. This is Ask culture. In some families you grow up with the message “It can't hurt to ask.” but you might get no for an answer. That's ok. The messaging to this couple from the ask-culture folks was “Just be direct. If she gets offended, that's her issue, don't worry about it”. In ask culture you're more likely to be clear, straightforward, but also to be perceived as presumptuous or rude. (The woman asking to stay seems to be from ask culture, the husband and wife both seem to be from guess culture) Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional for $65/week. Try it now for 10% off: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapynutshell.com/?utm_medium=YTDescription&utm_source=YouTube Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapynutshell.com?utm_medium=YTDescription&utm_source=YouTube Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC 

HOM hosts Katie-Ellen and Amitai are back in-person after a month apart and the joy is palpable. Amitai blows Katie-Ellen's sweet dumb mind when he tells her about “Askers” and “Estimaters” and the two wrangle with language and communication styles. This week Katie-Ellen is horny for nail salons and Amitai is horny for Vancouver's Queen Elizabeth Park. Extras at www.hornyoffmainpod.com/blog Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Volvemos a comentar toda la actualidad del FCB. Esta vez contamos con Xavi, del canal de Iniestazo y con Marc del Río, Askers.tv .

Tod believes he should be crowned the King of Good News, but Alison questions whether he deserves the title. Also, the small changes that can make a big impact on your life, an evicted Dunkin' employee is given a new home, and the problems that older men have maintaining friendships. Plus, Tod and Alison go over the concept of Askers versus Guessers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Han er født i 2000 hadde 21 kamper i sin første sesong i 20-21. samtidig som han dominerte i U18 og U20 ligaen. Vært innom yngres landslag. Har til og med vært assisternde Kaptein på U18 Landslaget Har akkurat startet på sin 2 sesong som senior spiller i oransje. Forteller om barne og ungdomsårene fra Kløfta til Askers stolthet

**Udsendelsen er sponsoreret af Heineken 0.0** I denne udgave af Fodboldmagasinet på Mediano – med Peter Sørensen og Asker Hedegaard Boye hander det om én ting: Om Fodbold. Det plejer det også at gøre, men tidligere på måneden udkom Askers bog, som netop har titlen ”Om Fodbold.” Ud fra den diskuterer panelet her i Fodboldmagasinet denne gang, hvad det ér, fodbold kan, hvor fodbolden står nu, hvordan den har udviklet sig, og hvad både landsholdet og klubfodbolden betyder for os. Panelet består som altid af cheftræner i Vejle Boldklub, Peter Sørensen, og journalist, idéhistoriker og forfatter, Asker Hedegaard Boye. Askers bog "Om Fodbold" udkom 3. november på Gads Forlag. Vært: Adam Møller Gomaa

Denne uken er Anine på besøk hos Askers flotteste blomsterbutikk, nemlig Bloom. Og det er Jane som får skravle om julens vakre planter, pynt og borddekking. Julen nærmer seg og dame byr på litt julestemning! 

 Roll out the red carpet and get your press kits ready... because the Publicists have arrived! After recapping the White Lotus finale buzz, Nick and Jess throw Producer Brian a last-minute going-away party (Don't worry! It's not goodbye, just see you later!) before he goes back to Ireland. Then, for your consideration, the Judges take off their powdered wigs and don their headsets as Publicists to submit to the MANY categories of The Las Culturistas Culture Awards. Who will campaign for Biggest Jester? Biggest Flop? Biggest Jester Flop? Biggest Jester Flop in the Clown Square?! Best TEEN?!??!  Listen and find out! Plus, submissions for Best Tit and Worst Tat have officially opened up! Be sure to tune into Las Culturistas (@lasculturistas) for the LCCA winners, and @theverdictpod on Instagram and Twitter for more of us floundering without our Producer physically present!

For thirteen years, Durham, North Carolina multi-instrumentalist Jay Hammond has rounded out and refined his rolodex of talented collaborators. Under the project title Trippers & Askers, the collective specializes in spacious, avant-garde arrangements, philosophical meditations in place of traditional lyrics, and psychedelic flourishes that beckon to be revisited. Next Friday Trippers & Askers guides you through […]

Hosts: Quan, Dee Dee, Fraronda, Auri, & O.G Givers, Takers, Askers, Matchers, and Oh it’s Strategic Too. On this week’s episode, each of these is discussed by the crew. Placing themselves and one another in each of these categories, this conversation takes another deep dive into who the PPP crew is and how they operate. It isn’t always easy being a giver and sometimes it’s hard to recognize when that’s not all you are. But part of being in a healthy relationship and setting healthy boundaries is knowing what you need and don’t need to be able to function in whatever capacity necessary. This week the crew discusses all of that and how it shows up in their own friend group. They also take some time to think about how they could potentially do and be better for one another to make things work a little better. As usual, while they are so very similar in most things, they have vastly different ways of showing up even if they all can call themselves givers. But at the end of the day, they accept one another, flaws and all, and deal with what they have to deal with to keep the friendship flame alive and burning. Make sure to tune into this week’s episode to get into the nitty-gritty of things and be entertained by the functioning dysfunction that is the Perfect People Podcast Crew! Like, Comment, Review, Subscribe and 5 Star Rate Want to join the conversation? Email us at perfectpeoplepodcast@gmail.com

Remi "Pinnochio" Sørdal og Torgrim "Fetter Anton" Forbergskog får besøk av Askers største løgnhals og skrytepave. Jan Vidar aka Jayvis! Vi befinner oss på Gvarv i forbindelse med innspilling av sesong 3 av Isabel Raadebank 3. Det blir breial passiar om dass, rass og pass - samt innhold av trafikalt grunnkurs light. Løgn og skryt blir det jallefall. Hala MILF See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Beautiful song

Sportskomiteen, signering av spillere, Dag Høyem sin spiller karriere og jobben som gjøres i kulissene. Patrick Hellman og jobben som gjøres i kulissene.

Are you a constant receipt and bill checker like Kendra? When was the last time you asked for a REFUND for an item you bought? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are.” —Marcus Aurelius For people who live in a Guess Culture, learning to ask for what we want is particularly challenging. It can feel uncomfortable, produce anxiety, and in some instances can upset the "way things are supposed to be done". But learning to be a better asker can help improve communication with those around you, and remove a lot of stress from your life. Join us at https://stoic.coffee

Hosts: Quan, Dee Dee, Fraronda, Auri, & O.G Givers, Takers, Askers, Matchers, and Oh it’s Strategic Too. On this week’s episode, each of these is discussed by the crew. Placing themselves and one another in each of these categories, this conversation takes another deep dive into who the PPP crew is and how they operate. It isn’t always easy being a giver and sometimes it’s hard to recognize when that’s not all you are. But part of being in a healthy relationship and setting healthy boundaries is knowing what you need and don’t need to be able to function in whatever capacity necessary. This week the crew discusses all of that and how it shows up in their own friend group. They also take some time to think about how they could potentially do and be better for one another to make things work a little better. As usual, while they are so very similar in most things, they have vastly different ways of showing up even if they all can call themselves givers. But at the end of the day, they accept one another, flaws and all, and deal with what they have to deal with to keep the friendship flame alive and burning. Make sure to tune into this week’s episode to get into the nitty-gritty of things and be entertained by the functioning dysfunction that is the Perfect People Podcast Crew! Like, Comment, Review, Subscribe and 5 Star Rate Want to join the conversation? Email us at perfectpeoplepodcast@gmail.com

22. Givers Need Askers: Turn the Wheel of Reciprocity and Ask “The fact is, you can be more productive, more efficient, more creative, less stressed out if you make requests for what you need and you help other people.”  Guest Info: Dr. Wayne E. Baker is Robert P. Thome (“Toe-May”), Professor of Business Administration and Professor of Management & Organizations at the University of Michigan Ross School of Business. He is also Professor of Sociology at the University of Michigan and Faculty Associate at the Institute for Social Research.  He currently serves as Faculty Director of the Center for Positive Organizations. His teaching and research focus on social capital, social networks, generosity, positive organizational scholarship, and values.  He has published numerous scholarly articles and four books.  His management and leadership articles appear in venues such as Harvard Business Review, Chief Executive Magazine, and Sloan Management Review.  He puts his knowledge into practice as a frequent guest speaker, management consultant, and as an advisor and board member of Give and Take Inc., developers of the Givitas collaborative technology platform. He has won various awards, including the Senior Faculty Research Award from the Ross School of Business and the Best Article Published in 2014 – 2016 from the American Sociological Association Section on Altruism, Morality, and Social Solidarity. Prior to joining the Michigan faculty, he was on the faculty at the University of Chicago business school.  He earned his Ph.D. in sociology from Northwestern University and was a post-doctoral research fellow at Harvard University. He resides with his wife, son, and Birman cat in Ann Arbor. Favorite Quote:  "It may be better to give than receive, but it's best to give AND receive. Asking turns the wheel of reciprocity." Resources: Psychology Today: "The Real Challenge of Generosity" AllYouHavetoDoIsAsk.com "All You Have to Do Is Ask" Infographic  Shannon Cassidy on YouTube For more information about R.O.G. Return on Generosity and host Shannon Cassidy, visit bridgebetween.com. Credits: Dr. Wayne Baker. Production team: Nani Shin, Sheep Jam Productions, qodpod

Today’s Guest Expert: Mark Victor Hansen Mark Victor Hansen is best known as the co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series and brand. He is a prolific writer and sought-after keynote speaker and entrepreneurial marketing maven. His new book is Ask! The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny he wrote with […] The post Chicken Soup for the Question Askers Soul appeared first on Jake A Carlson.

Sammen med gjester, diskuterer og forklarer vi de viktigste og morsomste sakene i Kommune-Norge når møtet settes i Kontrollutvalget hver uke. Denne uka er også preget av det ukegamle statsbudsjettet: - Fylkesordfører Jon Askeland i Vestland om minst 50 milliarder som mangler til å vedlikeholde fylkesveiene. - Kommunedirektør Lars Bjerke om Askers koronaregnskap, som kan gi langt over 100 millioner i minus. - Fast gjest Daniel Aluku i Viken ungdomsråd utfordrer kommunene til å følge regjeringens ønske og bruke 100 millioner på unges psykiske helse. - Og i Nordkapp går innbyggerne i fakkeltog mot kranglete politikere.

Another defensive position breakdown, another group that has a lot of questions surrounding it. Brian Hadad and Joel Coleman look at the Mississippi State linebacking corps before diving into the mailbag for another edition of The Rumblings.

How long will it take to get the meeting? You have three steps first:1. Make the list. And review that list and eliminate the dumb titles. Chris is a fan of Zoominfo.2. Write the messaging. Remember, one turn of phrase can kill the meeting. Marketing language kills a sales call. Subtle nuances make or break the call.3. Talk to people in that market, those that are intrigued enough to hear what we have to say. Who does the talking? Find and hire the ASKERS.Tune in for this short episode of Market Dominance Guys: Change the Message or Change the List

Asking can be difficult for some people because they view the concept as a diminisher of pride. On the contrary, being aligned with success actually means being a master asker. Mark Victor Hansen and Crystal Hansen join Juliet Clark to shed light on how asking can bring the success we so strive for. Mark is best known as the co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series and brand. His wife, Crystal, is a business strategist and a successful entrepreneur, speaker, author, and life coach. Listen in as they introduce their new book, Ask!: The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny, that incorporates the concept of asking as a way to your dreams. Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the Promote, Profit, Publish Community today: superbrandpublishing.com Promote, Profit, Publish on Facebook Promote, Profit, Publish on YouTube Follow Juliet on Twitter Follow Juliet on LinkedIn Take the Quiz!

Asking can be difficult for some people because they view the concept as a diminisher of pride. On the contrary, being aligned with success actually means being a master asker. Mark Victor Hansen and Crystal Hansen join Juliet Clark to shed light on how asking can bring the success we so strive for. Mark is best known as the […]

Earlier this year, Meg and Kelly revealed some of the things they had discovered that no one ever told them (Ep. 238 Why didn't the tell me?!), and this week, they continue that discussion by sharing even more of the things that they wish they had known. From a practical hack for a summer favorite to pinching your plants to how to know if you are an Asker or a Guesser, they talk about the wisdom that is making life easier and more awesome. PLUS an extended discussion of Hamilton and a summer grilling favorite in Awesome of the Week!Legacy Box: Go to legacybox.com/AWESOME to get 40% off your first orderBillie: for 10% off of your new favorite razor, go to mybillie.com/awesomeTrue Botanicals: Get 15% off your first purchase at truebotanicals.com/awesomeDon't forget to check out our new daily podcast Awesome Today!You can find Meg on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram!Find Kelly on her Twitter and Instagram!Visit sortaawesomeshow.com for show notes on this and every episode. And don’t forget to find us in the Sorta Awesome Hangout on Facebook or @sortaawesomeshow on Instagram, and @sortaawesomepod on Twitter!

Askers, today we give advice on searching for a job, making a podcast, and being productive.. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice on making podcasts, picture windows, name pronunciation, and sauce thickening. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

In this episode, Malik and Janelle explore the world of ask culture and guess culture and how those worlds can collide.

Askers, today we give advice on motivational photos and Candy for Rod. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ What British sports look like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_6d3JBBo4s WTF video: https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/fwd43u/thats_our_car/

Askers, today we give advice on getting messages, baby sleep progression, and maths. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice on what 8-balls taste like, and pizza preferences. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice on gay jaguars, the band KISS, pineapple on pizza, and being environmentally conscious. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

NannyCast 37: Get Sent to a Nanny Conference // download episode // subscribe to NannyCast // This episode is all about how to get your employers to pay your tuition to a nanny conference or class, even if, and especially if, you didn’t negotiate professional development into your compensation package when you were hired. We cover step by step why you would want to go and how to structure the conversation with your employers. And even how to tell if they’ve said, “Please, keep convincing me!” without using those words. Because they never use those words.Additional Show Notes:NannyCast 24: Nannypalooza 2012 Career Talk Podcast: Professional Development NannyCast 11: Let’s Talk About Money, Our Take The Practically Perfect Podcast Swept Together: Episode 47 | All About The Ask The Atlantic | Askers vs Guessers Door Closing Audio Transcript after the break.I’m Nanny Jen, and today we are talking about how to add a professional development budget to your compensation package, after you’ve already started the job. This episode was inspired by the upcoming annual interNational Nanny Training Day event where a multitude of same-day, single-day, local professional development opportunities will be simultaneously attended by nannies around the globe, but is by no means limited to just NNTD. This can also be used for larger, longer nanny conferences such as the International Nanny Association’s conference or NannyPalooza. As a quick aside, NannyPalooza got featured in its own episode, Episode 24, which can be accessed by going to nannycast dot com and clicking on the “episodes” tab in the navigation bar. It will also be linked in this episode’s show notes.Now, in order to be a fully comprehensive podcast episode, and to mirror the pitch you would make to your employers, we are going to start with WHY you would want to engage in ongoing professional development. And to help make that pitch is [Stephanie Dennis host intro]She runs a podcast called The Career Talk Podcast whose full episode on the topic of professional development is linked in the show notes. [career talk clip]That last take home was short, sweet, and to the point. It benefits employees and employers. Which leads us in to our next portion: How to have the conversation with your employer. Like we started here, you start with how this will benefit them. And let me repeat that for clarity. THEM. How this will benefit THEM. Go in to this with the understanding that people are inherently selfish so they want to hear about how spending the money to send you to professional development will benefit them.And Steph gave us a good list of five ways which essentially boil down to that you’ll be better at your job which directly benefits them as the people who receive the results of your labor. AND, and how they react to this point is telling of your job overall, it increases employee retention. Meaning you stay working for people who invest in you. In fact, when we called for your nanny confessions as part of our book giveaway contest, we got an excellent confession that discussed National Nanny Training Day admission fee. To protect the anonymity of the confessor, we’ve stripped away the identifying details and substituted a voice actor, but you can still hear her upset which the voice actor faithfully duplicated from the original audio clip we received.[family never paid]It isn’t hypothetical that we nannies will leave jobs over professional development being unsupported, here is one concrete example being bold enough to state it for the record. And by the way, as an aside, if you ever want to contribute thoughts to NannyCast and don’t want your name or your voice used, we have a wide variety of ways to protect you as we protected this nanny. Please do not hesitate to visit nannycast dot com and click on the “share with us” tab in the navigation bar.If you need to when discussing a budget for professional development with your employer, feel free to point them to this episode of NannyCast. It is episode thirty-seven. Perhaps they need to hear that it is more than just your opinion?But we are getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s back up. Let’s talk about the ask. If you haven’t listened to NannyCast episode 11 called “Let’s Talk About Money”, go give that a listen. It covers all sorts of awkward money conversations from the initial setting up of your compensation package to raises, and adding a professional development budget mid-work certainly does qualify as a kind of raise. It is a good learn-it-today-use-it-tomorrow kind of professional development offered by the duo behind the Practically Perfect Podcast. (wistful) I do wish they’d release the whole of the audio from that webinar as one of their podcast episodes since it is otherwise lost to the universe.That said, it is very important to start with the realization that there are two approaches to making requests, which a periodical called the Atlantic summarized as Askers vs Guessers. Neither approach is wrong, but when an asker meets a guesser there can be some unintended fallout. And to address all of this, we are going to bring in a podcast that is the reality-tv of the podcasting world called Swept Together. As always, a link to their full episode can be found in the show notes.[Swept Together Clip 1]So the question is to you: Are you an asker or a guesser?[Swept Together Clip 2]Now if you are a pure asker, you are already finished with this podcast episode and asking your employer for professional development funds for the specific professional development opportunity you had in mind. And if you aren’t doing that, you should be. Bye pure askers, we’ll see you next episode.[door close sound]Okay, so all that we are left with is impure askers and guessers. And what I mean by this is that we are left with people who are aware of the dynamic imbalance between an employer and an employee and that in the specific world of nannying, an employer might be upset having to consider a surprise request by an employee for, say, professional development funds. This is where feelers come in.[Swept Together Clip 3]Now, obviously we aren’t trying to be romantically involved with our employers, but we can still use a version of this to our advantage. Surely you have a professional connection, fellow friend nanny, or can invent a fake nanny friend who is attending the professional development opportunity you are referring to. And surely this nanny you’ve invented has her employers covering their tuition. And surely you can mention this to your employers to gauge their reaction to it and hope that the idea percolates in their mind so that a week later the employers take the initiative of offering you the tuition money without realizing you’d sprinkled some idea seeds into their ears. Is this lying? Well, that entirely depends on how much you feel like the nannies you know through the internet are real or not, because in the major nanny collaboration networks, there is always at least one person who is going to the thing and whose employers are paying to send them there. So I’d say not a lie, because I find those nannies to be very real.But what if you are trying to navigate this difficult intersection of asker vs guesser and employer vs employee with someone who is tone deaf to the fact that they are an employer with the economic power as well as an asker who is somewhat unaware of emotional subtitles involved in requests?[Swept Together Clip 4]So if you know your boss is the oblivious one, you simply follow up and say, “Have you given any thought to whether or not it is within your budget to send me to Professional Development Opportunity I Mentioned Before?” You still aren’t asking to go, you are asking them to invite you to go. Very indirect, and not my usual style, but it isn’t a wrong style to have. My father used to say, “Never ask a question you don’t already know the answer to,” and when it comes to an employee making a compensation request, I’d say it helps to be fairly certain of the answer before asking the direct ask.But what if your bosses are guessers themselves? And as an imperfect asker or a guesser yourself, you don’t want them to feel compelled to give you a thumbs up if that isn’t what is truly in their heart.[Swept Together Clip 5]And there it is folks! Know your boss’s request style. Know this about one another. At a time where nothing is on the line, if you don’t already know, figure out how each of you handle requests in the context of an employer/employee relationship. Like, now? Now is a good time. There isn’t anything pressing right now, right? So it would just be a fun little anecdote to pull up the article from The Atlantic and ask them which they are as concerns you. It will also help you to know whether when they ask you to do a favor outside of your normal nanny duties, is this something you can reject without consequence or is this an incognito order.[Swept Together Clip 6]A guesser requesting professional development tuition of another guesser can always help the employer guesser realize how this is a win-win by listing some of those employer benefits from The Career Talk Podcast, providing a link to this podcast, or contacting their professional development opportunity’s organizer for any resources, handouts, or flyers they might have that makes the sell directly to employers. I’ve yet to see a nanny professional development opportunity where those resources weren’t available, but I’ve seen PLENTY of nanny professional development opportunities where those resources weren’t publicized.Now let’s talk about what isn’t a no. Unlike a lot of other situations where anything but a yes is a no, when it comes to making a request of an employer for professional development funds, a yes is a yes, a no is a no, and anything else is a “convince me”. It can be hard to see that, though.[Swept Together Clip 7]Oh to have an employer who is self-aware enough to communicate that this significant decision might require some think time. And if you have an employer that self aware, treasure them. For the rest of us, we have to remind ourselves that what is being communicated is simply that this is a significant decision requiring think time, NOT that this is a no.And in closing, we’ll hand you one more strategy. Don’t ask. Tell.[Swept Together Clip 8]So in conclusion: Professional development is good for the employee, it is good for the employer, we can number the reasons and list them off, it is important to be aware of your request style as an employee and your employer’s request style as an employer, and it is good to use strategies that navigate that unique mix of styles. Or just tell them that they are covering your tuition.See you at interNational Nanny Training Day!

Askers, today we give advice on getting it hard, a French AskCast, Jackman's short dickie, wingdings, and HVLP. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice on making love to the AskCast, being lonely, walnut as a wood fiber, our favorite typeface, and Ask The AskCast. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice on leaving voicemails, dissing our listeners, and building a meaty following. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice on stealing our podcast, a daddy complex, and what Bob Clagett smells like. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice on sharpie tattoos and clock towers. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice on kicking people down a well, SUBNERS, my coffee, yelling Australians, and trendy cutting boards. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice on answering questions, loopholes, browsing history, emojis, ASMR, and the East Durham guy. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Today I am honored to share my conversation with two incredible women, Beth Silvers and Sarah Stewart Holland. Sarah and Beth are the co-hosts of the bi-partisan political podcast Pantsuit Politics and the co-authors of the book  I Think You’re Wrong, but I’m Listening: A Guide to Grace-Filled Political Conversations. Sarah and Beth are committed to creating a space to talk through the hard things that are surrounding us in grace-filled and nuanced ways.  You may be someone who has always struggled with this topic (and listen, friend, I’m right there with you) and you are thinking “Em, that’s great, but why do I need to care about politics? Why should I be informed at all?” As my friend Stephanie and I discussed this summer, there is so much happening in the world and in our country that really impacts people and if we don’t know what’s going on, how we can listen to their story with deeper empathy and how can we speak the Gospel into their pain if we don’t have context for it?  I know this is hard stuff, you guys. Believe me. But people matter, it isn’t about the politics per say, its about being willing to walk in the hard with our neighbors. Additionally, I would HIGHLY recommend their book. It is not about politics and specific agendas at all, it is literally what it says: a guide to grace filled conversation about hard things. As you head into the holiday season with this insane political upheaval happening around us, an election year in the making, and you approach the various tables in your sphere of influence, couldn’t we all use some reminding about the people behind the stories and experiences that surround us? We have to got to remember that we may not always agree, and we won’t, that’s not how humanity works, but we can be better humans to one another. You matter, friend. And so does your neighbor.  Resources: Enneagram Types :: One / Two  Pedro and AIDS and “The Real World” Emerge Kentucky  OJ Simpson // You also can see “The People vs. OJ Simpson”  Clarence Thomas I Think You’re Wrong But I’m Listening: A Guide to Grace Filled Political Conversations (affiliate link) “A League of Their Own”- “Of course its hard. That’s what makes it so great.” One and two of many articles in reference to families being shifted by certain news outlets. My original #metoo post from instagram Kavanaugh  Rachel Held Evans Jim Crow Brown Vs. The Board of Education Topeka  Vietnam War Walter Cronkite All Sides  The New Paper Start here: ABC News Up First: NPR News Ash Abercrombie // Our episode on Simply Stories Podcast Pantsuit Politics Live from Evolving Faith Conference  Scripture References: 2 Samuel 12 Matthew 28:16-20 Ephesians 6:10-18 Psalm 143:3 Philippians 3:14 Esther 4:14 Connecting with Beth & Sarah of Pantsuit Politics I Think You’re Wrong But I’m Listening: A Guide to Grace Filled Political Conversations (Affiliate Link) Pantsuit Politics Podcast The Nuanced Life Podcast The Nuance Nation Tour To get access to the Nightly Nuance, you have to be a Patreon supporter. Link here! PSP Website PSP Instagram Sarah Instagram Beth Instagram Facebook PSP Twitter *Intro and outro music by audionautix.com*  

Askers, today we give advice on carbon fiber horse heads & jello river tables. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice/answer Back that ask up? Who invented yogurt? What % of your income is hammer sales? We obviously also discuss Alf the racist, making noises for deaf people, Roman war helmets, our loyal fan, and chickpee. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today give advice on jealousy, burning pallets, and buying Elements. We obviously also discuss scarecrow boners, piping hot loaves, and lady bonas gone Bahston. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today give advice on hamburgers, hamburger toppings, hamburger condiments, name changes, and staying motivated. We obviously also discuss lady boners, meat, and Moe Lester. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today give advice on you you you dreams, The Godge Workshop, and social security again. We also obviously discuss white vans, facebook dumpster fires, TI-83s, Code Red wine, grout lines, and Philadelphia Sidecars. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice on sleeping, social security, nothing about Florida, drawing the line, and polarizing filters. We also obviously discuss gummy bear farts, cocaine, free candy vans, driving Honda Elements off cliffs, suspicious acticity, MDF pallets, and windjammers. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice on doing lines of oak, bumpin stumps, and buying cars from Carl. We also obviously discuss wicked pissa beer, bunghole liquors, being a dad, giving pterodactyls, acres of semen, and 16-1450. Pantone of the week - https://www.pantone.com/color-finder/16-1450-TPX Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice on calling YouTube, pop tabs, cactuses, entertainment tonight, potlucks in trousers, and apartment woodworking. We also obviously discuss bobble heads, being boot, colored pencil guitars, colored pencil guitars, color pencil guitars, and ramen river table again. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice on self promotion, experiencing my anus, driving a Moxie car, stick horse racing, and CVG WRC. We also obviously discuss podcast momentum, Idaho area codes, soap shoes, and the Jackman documentary. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Askers, today we give advice on Prius underwear, ramen tapped holes, and selling yourself. We also obviously discuss making a podcast, Delaware Ohio, sea level rise, juggalos, and Tinder. Paul Jackman - https://www.jackmanworks.com/ Zack Herberholz - https://www.zhfabrications.com/ John Graziano - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS3LkluM1MGblwwNhHAvVPQ

Hampus Gustafsson, vår nittende gjest, snakker om sesongen, Askers sluttspill, hvorfor han slo bestevennen Jacob Berglund til blods i tenårene, Oskar Östlunds dramatiske natt, tiden i Hamar - og mye, mye mer.

Mike and TC define "Askers vs. Tellers" and how Listening can actually help a person from continuing to "vomit at the mouth."

Henrik Asheim kommer for å snakke om ulv, Ken skal finne ut om "Adam søker Eva" kan være et realityprogram for han og hvor har det blitt av Askers ordførerkjede? God lytt, kjære lytter!

The Field Development team has found that the most successful areas have strong TDS volunteers that are not scared to ask for money. The most powerful ask are those done by volunteers that really support the ministry. It makes it more real to donors coming from a volunteer. A lot of things in life are successful by just being willing to ask and create a network.  This podcast gives you ideas about finding the right person and the importance of having TDS members as a support system.  Remember, to maximize your time for ministry with kids by Building a Financially Healthy Culture.   This podcast includes:  Pat Rhoades & Greg Lehman from the Field Development team.  Listen in!

Programleder Dag Otter Johansen og Kaja Mejlbo tar i mot Jan Christian Mollestad og journalist Kjetil Olsen Vethe.

Holy Askers - Pt1 • Holy Askers -Pt2

*This episode is brought to you by Serac Hammocks. Use code SWEPT for $5 your order of $25 or more* On today's episode, we’re talking about the struggles of wedding planning, how our DTR went down back in 2015, and how Annabelle creates awkward silence. We're continuing the conversation started in Episode 44 about our personality differences and how we navigate those differences to make our relationship stronger. Here's what we covered: What happens when an Asker meets a Guesser How being different in this area has caused miscommunications in our relationship The adjustments we're making in how we make requests of each other [Tweet "How does your communication style impact your relationship? via @swepttogether"] Resources mentioned in Episode 47: Episode 44 | Two Peas in a Pod Episode 46 | Speaking Your Languages The Atlantic - "Askers vs Guessers"

Serial Entrepreneur Dennis Mortensen has a refreshingly honest chat about x.ai and the future.

Andrew Ryland