Podcast appearances and mentions of vanessa patrick

In this episode of the Ideas on Stage podcast we spoke with Vanessa Bohns. Vanessa Bohns is a social psychologist and professor and chair of organizational behavior at Cornell University. She holds a PhD in Psychology from Columbia University and an AB from Brown University. She is author of the book You Have More Influence Than You Think (2021, Norton). Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Harvard Business Review, and her research has been featured in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Economist, and on NPR's Hidden Brain, among other outlets. She studies social influence, compliance, consent, why it’s so hard to ask for things, and why it’s so hard to say no. In this episode we talked about the power of persuasion. What You'll Learn:- Why you have more influence than you realise- Why people’s perception of you differs from what you imagine- How to make requests without creating pressure or discomfort- Why people’s default response is often “yes.”- Why asking for what you need feels difficult – and how to make it easier We hope you enjoy it!——————— Vanessa Bohns:- Website: https://www.vanessabohns.com/- X: @profbohns- Instagram: @profbohns- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessa-bohns-33219710/ Recommended books:- How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie- Influence by Robert Cialdini- To Sell Is Human by Daniel Pink: https://youtu.be/8eJBKu8GmW8?si=5rlCed3Tht0pbr3e- The Power of Saying No by Vanessa Patrick: https://youtu.be/SCpllRISS00?si=VbGqCnZZnoxVJt83- Reinforcements by Heidi Grant Halvorson- Give and Take by Adam Grant——————— IDEAS ON STAGE RESOURCES - Books: ‘Confident Presenter’ (https://www.ideasonstage.com/resources/confident-presenter-book/) and ‘Business Presentation Revolution’ (https://www.ideasonstage.com/business-presentation-revolution/book/)- The Confident Presenter Scorecard: https://ideasonstage.com/score- Free Web Class: https://www.ideasonstage.com/uk/masterclass- Free Mini-Course: https://bit.ly/confident-presenter-mini-course #IdeasOnStagePodcast #influence #persuasion

In this episode of The Brainy Business podcast, Melina Palmer is joined by Dr. Vanessa Patrick, a renowned professor of marketing and author of the USA Today bestseller, The Power of Saying No. Together, they delve into the critical art of saying no and how it can empower individuals to take control of their lives. Vanessa shares her insights on why people struggle with saying no, the importance of setting personal policies, and how empowered refusal can help you manage your time and energy effectively. Throughout the conversation, Melina and Vanessa discuss the psychological barriers that prevent us from saying no, the societal expectations that push us to say yes, and practical strategies to overcome these challenges. They explore the concept of "empowered refusal" and how shifting from "I can't" to "I don't" can transform our decision-making process. Vanessa also introduces her ART framework—Awareness, Rules, and Totality of Self—as a guide to mastering the art of saying no. In this episode: Discover why saying no is essential for personal and professional growth. Learn about the psychological drivers that make us say yes when we want to say no. Explore the ART framework for empowered refusal and how it can transform your life. Understand the importance of personal policies and how they help in decision-making. Gain insights into handling requests at work, especially non-promotable tasks. Show Notes: 00:00:00 - Introduction Melina introduces Dr. Vanessa Patrick and focuses on the power of saying no. 00:04:00 - Vanessa's Background Vanessa shares her background and the motivation behind her research on saying no. 00:10:00 - The Struggle with Saying No Discussion on why people find it challenging to say no and the societal pressures involved. 00:20:00 - Empowered Refusal Introduction to the concept of empowered refusal and the ART framework. 00:30:00 - Personal Policies How personal policies can help in saying no and the difference between "I can't" and "I don't." 00:40:00 - Handling Work Requests Strategies for managing non-promotable tasks and saying no at work. 00:43:00 - Conclusion What stuck with you while listening to the episode? What are you going to try? Come share it with Melina on social media -- you'll find her as @thebrainybiz everywhere and as Melina Palmer on LinkedIn. Thanks for listening. Don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Android. If you like what you heard, please leave a review on iTunes and share what you liked about the show.  I hope you love everything recommended via The Brainy Business! Everything was independently reviewed and selected by me, Melina Palmer. So you know, as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. That means if you decide to shop from the links on this page (via Amazon or others), The Brainy Business may collect a share of sales or other compensation. Let's connect: Melina@TheBrainyBusiness.com The Brainy Business® on Facebook The Brainy Business on Twitter The Brainy Business on Instagram The Brainy Business on LinkedIn Melina on LinkedIn The Brainy Business on Youtube Connect with Vanessa: LinkedIn  Learn and Support The Brainy Business: Check out and get your copies of Melina's Books.  Get the Books Mentioned on (or related to) this Episode: The Power of Saying No, by Vanessa Patrick Indistractable, by Nir Eyal Come Up For Air, by Nick Sonnenberg Happier Hour, by Cassie Holmes Work Well, Play More, by Marcey Rader Top Recommended Next Episode: Decision Fatigue (ep 244) Already Heard That One? Try These:  Overwhelmed Brain and its impact on decision making (ep 358) Cassie Holmes Interview (ep 257) Planning Fallacy (ep 346) Leidy Klotz Interview (ep 322) An Overview of Lazy Brain Biases (ep 53) Other Important Links:  Brainy Bites - Melina's LinkedIn Newsletter

If you're a woman in the workplace, you know the deck is rarely stacked in your favor. For example, promotions are harder to come by. The gender wage gap is real. And power can feel elusive. Psychology professor and researcher, Alison Fragale, has studied the power problem for decades. What she's figured out is that the solution lies with status. But, as she argues in her book, Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve, if women shift their focus to cultivating status, they get further ahead in solving the power problem. Alison Fragale has unlocked the key to achieving greater status in the workplace. And she shares practical tips on how to get started. It's a book I'll be recommending to all my friends Episode Links Why Status and Now Just Power Determines Workplace Success Here's Why Women Don't Always Support Women Interview with Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

Charles Feltman: The Thin Book of Trust Charles Feltman is the founder of Insight Coaching. He has over 25 years of professional experience coaching, facilitating, consulting to, and training people who lead others. He is the author of The Thin Book of Trust: An Essential Primer for Building Trust at Work*. It's a reality of life that we need to interact with some people we'd rather not. And it's absolutely a reality of leadership, that sometimes we need to have a conversation with someone we don't quite trust. In this episode, Charles and I explore how to prepare so it goes better for both parties. Key Points The four assessment domains of trust include care, sincerity, reliability, and competence. Seven steps to prepare for a conversation: Identify the assessment(s) you are concerned with. Define the standard you are using. Identify the specific actions or behaviors that have led to your assessment of distrust. Consider what you are doing that may be contributing to the situation. Determine what you need from them in order for them to regain your trust. Decide if you are willing to talk to the person about it. Ask the other person if they would be willing to have a conversation with you. Resources Mentioned The Thin Book of Trust: An Essential Primer for Building Trust at Work* by Charles Feltman Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Handle Pushback From Difficult Askers, with Vanessa Patrick (episode 637) How to Help Difficult Conversations Go Better, with Sheila Heen (episode 655) How to Change People's Minds, with Michael McQueen (episode 676) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

This week, we revisit our interview with Dr. Vanessa Patrick. Vanessa is a Professor of Marketing and the Associate Dean for Research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston. We discuss her book The Power of Saying No. Vanessa has published dozens of research articles in top-tier academic journals in psychology, marketing, and management, and popular accounts of her work have appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, NPR, Los Angeles Times, Business Week, Fast Company, Forbes, Huffington Post and Washington Post. In her research, she investigates strategies to achieve personal mastery and inspire everyday excellence in oneself and others and is a pioneer in the study of everyday consumer aesthetics.  She has a PhD in Business from the University of Southern California and an MBA in marketing and a BS degree in microbiology and biochemistry from Bombay University in India. Vanessa lives with her family in Houston, Texas

In this episode of the Ideas on Stage podcast we spoke with Dr. Vanessa Patrick. Vanessa Patrick, PhD. is an award winning researcher and teacher at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston. She is a regular speaker at both academic and practitioner conferences and her research investigates strategies to achieve personal mastery and inspire everyday excellence in oneself and others. Her new book is The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life. In this episode we talked about the art and science of saying no. What You'll Learn:- Common challenges that make it hard to refuse requests- How to use the concept of “empowered refusal” to say no assertively- Why using phrases like "I don't" is more powerful than "I can't" - Insights into deciding when to say yes or no- How syncing your words with body language can maximise the impact of your no We hope you enjoy it! ——————— Links: - Vanessa Patrick on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessapatrick23/ - Vanessa’s website: https://www.vanessapatrick.net/ Recommended books: - Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes - You Have More Influence Than You Think by Vanessa Bohns - The Power of a Positive No by William Ury ——————— IDEAS ON STAGE RESOURCES Want to inspire your audience, increase your influence, and make a bigger impact? - Read ‘Confident Presenter’ https://www.ideasonstage.com/resources/confident-presenter-book/ and ‘Business Presentation Revolution’ https://www.ideasonstage.com/business-presentation-revolution/book/ - To make the most of the books, take the Confident Presenter Scorecard to assess you presentation skills in less than 3 minutes, for free: https://ideasonstage.com/score - Attend the next Ideas on Stage web class: https://www.ideasonstage.com/uk/masterclass #IdeasOnStagePodcast #Leadership #Communication #PersonalDevelopment #ThePowerOfNo

Saying no to someone who asks for something is often easier said than done. Maybe it's a boss who wants you to take on a new assignment. Or your kid's teacher, seeking volunteers for a field trip. Or a friend who asks you to lend her money. How should we respond to these demands on our time, energy, and resources? This week, psychologist Vanessa Patrick explores why it's so hard to say no, and how we can set boundaries that will make it easier to do so. If you haven't yet caught the first two episodes in this year's You 2.0 series, you can find them in this podcast feed, or on our website: You 2.0: The Gift of Other PeopleYou 2.0: Taking Control of Your Time Thanks for listening! 

In this episode of The Brainy Business podcast, host Melina Palmer dive into the fascinating world of apologies with Getting to Sorry coauthors Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy. Discover the transformative power of saying 'I'm sorry' as Marjorie, a seasoned journalist, and Susan, an expert in wildlife behavior, share their insights from their journey with Sorrywatch.com to penning their book. Uncover the art and science behind making and accepting apologies, and why a well-crafted apology can mend bonds and heal wounds.  Our hosts and the coauthors navigate the delicate balance between public and private apologies, and reflect on personal stories that underline the impact of a genuine apology. Understand how an apology's sincerity can forge pathways to forgiveness, as highlighted in the six key steps to a good apology. With wisdom to offer both the apologizer and the recipient, this episode sheds light on how to effectively address bad apologies and the significance of moving forward after making amends. For a thought-provoking discussion that goes beyond a simple 'sorry', tune into this episode and experience the nuanced dance of contrition and forgiveness. In this episode: Master the Art of Crafting Effective Apologies in Business Understand the Psychological Impact of Apologies and Forgiveness Learn the Importance of Public vs Private Apologies in Business Discover the Steps to Make a Sincere Apology in Professional Settings Know How to Respond to Apologies Professionally in Business Interactions Show Notes: 00:00:00 - Introduction Melina introduces the guests Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy, coauthors of Getting to Sorry, and sets the stage for a discussion on the psychology of apologies. 00:02:45 - Passion for Apology Marjorie and Susan share their passion for the subject of apology, driven by their personal experiences, backgrounds, and a desire to explore the psychology behind apologies. 00:08:34 - Building Sorry Watch The guests provide insights into building and evolving their business, sorrywatch.com, focusing on the importance of staying true to their passion, pivoting when necessary, and becoming a resource for journalists. 00:14:23 - The Strength of Apology The conversation delves into the misconception that apologies are a sign of weakness. Marjorie and Susan emphasize that offering a sincere apology is an act of great strength and vulnerability, not cowardice. 00:32:00 - The Etiquette of Apologizing Marjorie and Susan discuss the etiquette of giving and receiving apologies, emphasizing the importance of not putting someone on the spot and using the right phrasing when seeking forgiveness. 00:33:01 - The Art of Forgiveness The conversation delves into the importance of forgiveness and the significance of word choice in both giving and receiving apologies. They highlight the value of allowing space for both parties to think about the apology and forgiveness. 00:36:07 - Responding to Apologies Marjorie and Susan share six steps for responding to apologies, including the importance of asking for clarification and understanding the impact of the apology. They also discuss the need to accept or reject an apology genuinely. 00:39:11 - The Value of Accepting Apologies The discussion emphasizes the need to genuinely accept or reject an apology and to set clear boundaries for moving forward. The importance of owning one's response and giving both parties the space to reflect is highlighted. 00:43:06 - The Art of Apologies The conversation touches on the familiar framework of bad apologies and the cringy phrases often used. The value of humor, self-reflection, and genuine communication in crafting meaningful apologies is emphasized. 00:47:22 - The Power of Apology Apologizing more and better can make the world a better place. Show notes include links to past episodes, books, and ways to connect with Marjorie and Susan at sorrywatch.com. 00:48:03 - Conclusion What stuck with you while listening to the episode? What are you going to try? Come share it with Melina on social media -- you'll find her as @thebrainybiz everywhere and as Melina Palmer on LinkedIn. Thanks for listening. Don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Android. If you like what you heard, please leave a review on iTunes and share what you liked about the show.  I hope you love everything recommended via The Brainy Business! Everything was independently reviewed and selected by me, Melina Palmer. So you know, as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. That means if you decide to shop from the links on this page (via Amazon or others), The Brainy Business may collect a share of sales or other compensation. Let's connect: Melina@TheBrainyBusiness.com The Brainy Business® on Facebook The Brainy Business on Twitter The Brainy Business on Instagram The Brainy Business on LinkedIn Melina on LinkedIn The Brainy Business on Youtube Connect with Marjorie and Susan: Sorrywatch.com Marjorie's LinkedIn Susan's LinkedIn  Learn and Support The Brainy Business: Check out and get your copies of Melina's Books.  Get the Books Mentioned on (or related to) this Episode: Getting to Sorry, by Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy The Power of Saying No, by Vanessa Patrick influence Is Your Superpower, by Zoe Chance Let's Talk, by Therese Huston What Your Employees Need and Can't Tell You, by Melina Palmer Top Recommended Next Episode: Gleb Tsipursky Interview (ep 111) Already Heard That One? Try These:  Inequity Aversion (ep 224) Confirmation Bias (ep 260) Fundamental Attribution Error (ep 268) Memory Biases (ep 280) Framing (ep 296) Focusing Illusion (ep 330) Other Important Links:  Brainy Bites - Melina's LinkedIn Newsletter

Summary In this episode, Andy interviews Laura Mae Martin, Google's productivity expert and author of the book Uptime: A Practical Guide to Personal Productivity and Wellbeing. They discuss the concept of productivity and how it is often misunderstood. Laura shares her perspective on productivity, emphasizing the importance of intention and execution. She introduces the five C's of productivity and explains the concept of the list funnel. They also discuss the challenges of procrastination and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say no. Throughout the conversation, Laura provides practical tips and strategies for improving personal productivity. Sound Bites "Sometimes I'll look at my calendar in a couple of weeks and be like, wow, Future Me is going to be very mad if I leave that there!" "When intention matches action, it's productive." "I was a recovering 'Say Yeser'." Chapters 00:00 Introduction 01:46 Start of Interview 02:59 What Does Productivity NOT Mean? 04:57 Intention and Action 06:20 Introduction to the 5C's of Productivity 09:10 Learning to Say No 12:48 The List Funnel 18:02 Dealing With Procrastination 22:50 Tool Hacks for Productivity 25:52 Tips for Parents to Help Their Kids With Productivity 27:24 Thinking About Future You 28:38 Interview Wrap Up 29:08 Andy Comments After the Interview 34:03 Outtakes Learn More You can learn more about Laura and her book at LauraMaeMartin.com. Also, check out the Google Workspace YouTube channel that Laura mentions. You can find that here: https://www.youtube.com/@googleworkspace/playlists. If you'd like more on this subject, here are some episodes to check out: Episode 376, with Nick Sonnenberg about his book Come Up for Air Episode 385, with Vanessa Patrick about her book, The Power of Saying No AI for Project Managers and Leaders With the constant stream of AI news, it's sometimes hard to grasp how these advancements can benefit us as project managers and leaders in our day-to-day work. That's why I developed our e-learning course: AI Made Simple: A Practical Guide to Using AI in Your Everyday Work. This self-guided course is designed for project managers and leaders aiming to harness AI's potential to enhance your work, streamline your workflow, and boost your productivity. Go to ai.i-leadonline.com to learn more and join us. The feedback from the program has been fantastic. Take this opportunity to unlock the potential of AI for your team and projects. Thank you for joining me for this episode of The People and Projects Podcast! Talent Triangle: Power Skills   The following music was used for this episode: Music: Brooklyn Nights by Tim Kulig Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/11192-brooklyn-nights License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Music: Tropical Vibe by WinnieTheMoog Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10446-tropical-vibe License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Yesterday I released a conversation with Dr. Vanessa Patrick. Vanessa is a professor of marketing and the associate dean for research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston. Among other things, Vanessa researches what she calls the empowered refusal - A way of saying no that stems from your identity. This empowered form of saying no becomes possible when you have clarity about who are, who you want to be, and what matters to you. For me this was one of the more practical conversations I 've ever had on the showLargely because saying no can be hard at times. Some of the reasons why saying no can be challenging include:You might feel if you say no it could damage to your reputationYou may have a fear that saying no will feel bad. More specifically that saying no will feel worse than saying yes (and at some level you may want to avoid the discomfort).You may be afraid saying no will upset someone or that saying no may create a rift in a relationshipAdditionally within the context of organizations (which is an area of expertise for Vanessa) saying no can bring on additional layers of complexity.There are power dynamics at playThere is added pressure to performThere may be a desire to move up, receive recognition, The list goes on…So like I said it was quite valuable to talk with Vanessa. Not only because of her expertise on the topic, but also because her work truly lies at the intersection of art and science.Her research has revealed the ingredients that lead to an effective no, but like most recipes…there is also an art involved, and Vanessa's deep experience working with leaders has offered further insight into that art - offering really practical ways of communicating no effectively in the work environment. For today's practice I will offer a few practical takeaways from the conversation with Vanessa that you can take and experiment with in your own life. I  hope you find it useful and if you want to dive deep into this topic though I would encourage you to check out our interview (if you haven't already):The Life Changing Power of Saying No | Dr. Vanessa PatrickOr  pick up a copy of her book: The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You In Charge of Your LifeThank you for your practice. I look forward to continuing together next Thursday!-JoshuaLooking for more practice opportunities? Check out:Past Practicing Courage episodes in the podcast feedThe FREE Practice LibraryThe Practice Pass - An annual membership that gives you on-demand access to robust practice experiences including the 28-Day Practicing Courage Challenge and The 5-Day Transforming Stress Challenge. Support the show

Have you ever said yes when you really wanted to say no?Has saying no ever been a challenge for you?These are such common experiences that today's guest, Dr. Vanessa Patrick has written a powerful new book that addresses them head on: The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life. Dr. Patrick researches what she calls the empowered refusal, which is a way of saying no that stems from your identity, who you are, what you care about, and how you want to show up in the world. Today we'll unpack the art and science of the empowered refusal. Or put more simply - how to say no effectively.In this episode Vanessa will share: More insight from her research about why so many people say yes, when they really want to say noCommon fears and obstacles that get in the way of saying no effectivelyHow to get clarity about what really matters to you and leveraging to say no from an empowered placeThe importance of how you say no, including powerful insights about the importance of aligning body language, facial expression, and tone to communicate a more effective no.How the empowered refusal can actually strengthen your reputation. Vanessa will also share language that can be helpful for saying no, including her practice of creating what she calls personal policies.And we'll get into a conversation about good work, and why learning to say no effectively creates the opportunity for work that leads to greater meaning and fulfillment. Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:Gentle Power: Shifting the Way we Define True Strength | Dr. Elisabet LahtiLetting Go of Perfectionism and Finding Happiness | Tal Ben-ShaharEnjoying the show? Please rate it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Thanks!More about Vanessa:Dr. Vanessa Patrick is a Professor of Marketing and the Associate Dean for Research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston. She has a PhD in Business from the University of Southern California and an MBA in marketing from Bombay University in India. Patrick has published dozens of research articles in top-tier academic journals in psychology, marketing, and management, and popular accounts of her work have appeared in the New York Times, TIME, The Wall Street Journal, NPR, LA Times, Business Week, Forbes and others. In her research, she investigates strategies to achieve personal mastery and inspire everyday excellence in oneself and others. You can learn more about Vanessa at vanessapatrick.netSupport the show

GHWCC Global Businesswomen's Pod Episode 94 In this WorkWell podcast by Deloitte, Jen Fisher, editor-at-large for Thrive and Deloitte's Human Sustainability Hub, sits down with Dr. Vanessa Patrick, Professor of Marketing and Associate Dean of Research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston, and the author of The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life. In a wide-ranging conversation, Jen and Vanessa discuss why it can be so hard to say no, and Vanessa shares techniques for saying no that lead to clearer decision making, stronger boundaries, and better time management. DR. VANESSA PATRICK AUTHOR, THE POWER OF SAYING NO

In this WorkWell podcast by Deloitte, Jen Fisher, editor-at-large for Thrive and Deloitte's  Human Sustainability Hub, sits down with Dr. Vanessa Patrick , Professor of Marketing and Associate Dean of Research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston, and the author of The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life. In a wide-ranging conversation, Jen and Vanessa discuss why it can be so hard to say no, and Vanessa shares techniques for saying no that lead to clearer decision making, stronger boundaries, and better time management.  

In this WorkWell podcast by Deloitte, Jen Fisher, editor-at-large for Thrive and Deloitte's  Human Sustainability Hub, sits down with Dr. Vanessa Patrick , Professor of Marketing and Associate Dean of Research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston, and the author of The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life. In a wide-ranging conversation, Jen and Vanessa discuss why it can be so hard to say no, and Vanessa shares techniques for saying no that lead to clearer decision making, stronger boundaries, and better time management.  

Matt reflects on all the advice we've heard this season and shares the top 10 takeaways that he's applying to his own communication:(00:00) Matt's Introduction(00:42) Jonah Berger: episode 80(02:09) Rachel Greenwald: episode 89(03:44) Dan Pink: episode 92(04:53) Vanessa Patrick: episode 95(06:55) Carmine Gallo: episode 103(07:43) Katie Milkman: episode 104(09:12) Kim Scott: episode 105(10:32) Francis Frei: episode 109(11:40) Patrick McGinnis: episode 113(13:14) Julian Treasure: episode 114Connect:Episode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn Page & InstagramMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInStanford GSB >>> LinkedIn & TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From higher education and marketing to hospitality and communication, this past season of Brand Story has brought together professionals from various industries to share what they've learned during their career journeys. In this episode, we take a look back at some of the standout moments from season three, featuring advice on company culture and operations, marketing, leadership, and brand.Featuring guests Mita Mallick, Miyoko Schinner, Dr. Marcus Collins, Wade Forbes, Vanessa Patrick, and Will Guidara with host, Steve Gilman.This is Brand Story, a podcast celebrating the stories of real people who are making an impact on brands, business, and the world around them. Episodes feature guests from a variety of backgrounds who bring their own unique perspectives to the conversation.Brand Story is created and produced by Gravity Group, a full-service brand and marketing agency, and is hosted by Gravity Group President, Steve Gilman.Links and Information From the Episode Here: gravitygroup.com/podcast/season-3-favorite-moments/Continue the conversation on social:For more of Brand Story, check out our LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/company/gravitygroupmarketing), where we'll post previews and highlights of shows, behind-the-scenes sneak peeks, plus other marketing news you can use.We're also on: Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/gravitygroupFacebook — https://www.facebook.com/gravitygroupmarketing(00:00) Highlights from Season 3(00:26) Mita Mallick - Recognizing Your Biases(04:24) Miyoko Schinner - Redefining Success and Happiness (07:10) Dr. Marcus Collins - Start with the Soul, End with the Sell(10:13) Wade Forbes - The Power of Visual Communication(13:41) Vanessa Patrick - Feeling More Empowered to Say “No”(18:07) Will Guidara - Unreasonable Hospitality

Dr. Vanessa Patrick, award-winning professor and researcher, speaker, and author joins me on this episode. Vanessa has been featured in numerous publications for her research and expertise in marketing, specifically luxury, self-mastery, and consumer behavior. Her work can be found in and referenced in the Washington Post, the New York Times, and many more distinguished media outlets. Topics we cover include Vanessa's backstory, building a classroom experience focused on student success, the impact of AI on teaching, why we say yes when we want to say no, the ART of empowered refusal, dealing with difficult askers, and more. Get connected with Vanessa: Website: https://www.vanessapatrick.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=4935501 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessapatrick23/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vanpat23/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/vpatrick23 Purchase a copy of The Power of Saying No: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Saying-No-Science-Charge/dp/1728251524/ Leave a 5-star review with a comment on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/business-minds-coffee-chat/id1539014324  Subscribe to my Business Builder Newsletter: https://bit.ly/32y0YxJ  Want to learn how you can work with me to gain more clarity, build a rock-solid foundation for your business, and achieve the results and success you deserve? Visit http://jayscherrbusinessconsulting.com/ and schedule a 1:1 discovery coaching call. Enjoy, thanks for listening, and please share with a friend!

Vanessa Patrick joined host Brett Hendrie to talk about how we can hone our skills when it comes to saying "no," how we can reject requests more scientifically, and why we all benefit when we learn the art of refusal. 

Ever find yourself staring at a shiny jewel? Or wowed by the glistening paint on a freshly washed car? Or inexplicably drawn to a magazine with a glossy cover? You are not alone. Humans love shiny things. But why is that? We asked Bauer College professor and marketing expert, Vanessa Patrick, to help shine some light on this topic. Is there a question that's caught your eye? Send it to us at BrainsOn.org/contact and we'll reflect on the answer!

This week, we interview Dr. Vanessa Patrick. Vanessa is a Professor of Marketing and the Associate Dean for Research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston. We discuss her book The Power of Saying No. Vanessa has published dozens of research articles in top-tier academic journals in psychology, marketing, and management, and popular accounts of her work have appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, NPR, Los Angeles Times, Business Week, Fast Company, Forbes, Huffington Post and Washington Post. In her research, she investigates strategies to achieve personal mastery and inspire everyday excellence in oneself and others and is a pioneer in the study of everyday consumer aesthetics.  She has a PhD in Business from the University of Southern California and an MBA in marketing and a BS degree in microbiology and biochemistry from Bombay University in India. Vanessa lives with her family in Houston, Texas.  

IN EPISODE 150: To say "no" to life's distractions and frustrations, we need to first know ourselves. IN Episode 150, Vanessa Patrick shows us how to make an "empowered refusal" based on our values, beliefs and identity. You'll learn how to set and adjust rules to protect your time and priorities, why the best no's are formed around personal policies, not excuses, what to do when someone won't take no for an answer, and how to say no to ourselves when temptations arise. There's an art and science to saying no -- and after listening to Vanessa, you'll learn how to say no without hurting your relationships and reputation. ABOUT VANESSA PATRICK: Vanessa Patrick, PhD. is the Associate Dean for Research, Executive Director of Doctoral Programs (PhD and DBA), and a Professor of Marketing at the Bauer School of Business at the University of Houston. She is the author of The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life.

We're often told that saying yes to everything will be the key to our success. It'll strengthen our relationships, enhance our reputation, and help us achieve our goals. But what if the reverse were true? What if learning how to say no is the game changer? What if mastering this skill is the way to achieve our goals? Vanessa Patrick has written a book on the subject titled, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You in Charge of Your Life. There are so many factors that influence whether we achieve our goals, things like focus, persistence, and resilience. After reading Vanessa's book, I'd add knowing how and when to say no. Episode Links Getting to Gutsy: Using Personal Policies to Enhance (and Reclaim) Agency in the Workplace How to Say “No”: Conviction and Identity Attributions in Persuasive Refusal Juggling Work and Home Selves: Low Identity Integration Feels Less Authentic and Increases Unethicality The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

In the final installment of her interview, Vanessa Patrick ("The Power of Saying No") gives us tips for turning down the pushy people in our lives.

Today: The difference between "pass the salt" and "bake your favorite lasagna" asks.

In this episode, Vanessa Patrick shares a strategy for saying "no" inspired by one of the most famous people in the world, and one of the best at saying "no"—Oprah Winfrey.

Kelly steps out of “Yes, And” mode to talk to University of Houston professor Vanessa Patrick about her new book  “The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You in Charge of Your life.” “There is little upside to saying yes when we want to say no.”  “The way […]

Today, Vanessa explains how the super skill of "empowered refusal" can help you say "no" no in a way that is persuasive and does not elicit pushback from others.

Too often, we say "yes" to friends, bosses, and even strangers when what we really want to say is "absolutely not." Why do we do this? Vanessa Patrick, a marketing professor at the University of Houston, has spent years researching this question. The answer she's come up with could change your life.

Retire smarter - sign up for the Design Your New Life in Retirement Group Coaching Program – which starts on 9/21 - Very Early Bird Pricing until August 15th – Learn More here _______________________ Do yourself a big favor. Invest in your ability to say no masterfully. Vanessa Patrick's research illuminates why we say yes when we really want to say no. She offers valuable practical tips on how to say no gracefully, but firmly, using what she calls empowered refusal. She advocates clarifying your purpose and your priorities, setting Personal Policies around them - and being mindful of the words you choose when you do say no. In retirement, saying no at the right times can set you free - so you can invest your time on the things that truly matter most to you. ________________________ Bio Vanessa Patrick is the author of The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life. Dr. Patrick is a Professor of Marketing and the Associate Dean for Research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston. She has a PhD in Business from the University of Southern California and an MBA in marketing and a BS degree in microbiology and biochemistry from Bombay University in India. Patrick has published dozens of research articles in top-tier academic journals in psychology, marketing, and management, and popular accounts of her work have appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, NPR, Los Angeles Times, Business Week, Fast Company, Forbes, Huffington Post and Washington Post. In her research, she investigates strategies to achieve personal mastery and inspire everyday excellence in oneself and others and is a pioneer in the study of everyday consumer aesthetics. Patrick lives with her family in Houston, Texas. ________________________ For More on Vanessa Patrick The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life Website Research Study: 'I Don't' versus 'I Can't': When Empowered Refusal Motivates Goal-Directed Behavior by Vanessa Patrick & Henrik Hagtvedt _______________________ Retire Smarter. Don't Miss an Episode – Follow on Apple Podcasts or Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | TuneIn | RSS ________________________ Podcast Episodes You May Like The Joy of Saying No - Natalie Lue Chatter & Your Inner Voice – Ethan Kross Retire Happy – Dr. Catherine Sanderson How to Live a Values Based Life – Harry Kraemer ________________________ Wise Quotes On Why We Say Yes When We Really Don't Want To "In my research, I identify three main reasons as to why we say yes, when we want to say no. One is a concern for the relationships we have with others. So when people ask us to do something, they're usually our friends, our family, people who are colleagues and acquaintances, and we want to have a good relationship with those people. We want to maintain that good relationship. The second reason ties into our reputation. We want to be seen positively in the eyes of people. We want to be seen as capable, as confident, as able to handle the things that are thrown our way. And the third thing is we have never really learned how to say no effectively throughout our lives. We've kind of tried to accommodate people's requests and be cooperative and helpful, and [we're] givers more than takers. And society in many ways, kind of shapes that sort of behavior and rewards that sort of behavior. And so we have never really learned to look inwards and think about how do I say no to the things that are not aligned with what I want to do or what I want to achieve." On Choosing the Right Words "So, in my research, I actually focus on what are the words that we can use to communicate our refusal, that implicate the identity? And the way you implicate your identity is you ground your refusal in your identity is by choosing your words carefully. When you say, I can't,

Dr. Vanessa Patrick, a respected marketing professor at the University of Houston's Bauer College of Business, is revered for her notable research on the psychology of saying no. This research acts as the foundation of her book, The Power of Saying No. The seemingly simple act can be a strenuous inner struggle, but Vanessa insists it's an essential skill for preserving personal dignity and establishing a balanced life. Understanding the psychology behind our hesitance to refuse can liberate individuals from overcommitment and enable them to set healthier boundaries. In her conversation with Melina Palmer, Vanessa articulated that the challenge of saying no often stems from our fear of negatively impacting relationships or tarnishing our reputation. However, people's constant attempt to please others leads them to become a pushover, gradually erasing their individuality. Vanessa conveyed that saying no (using her method of empowered refusal) allows you to not just create and uphold your unique identity but also to avoid turning into a person who mindlessly accepts every request. In this episode: Discover the influence of saying no and how it enhances the quality of relationships and life. Learn actionable strategies to establish personal boundaries and become uncompromisingly committed to them. Recognize the primary function of personal motivations and beliefs in setting energized refusal. Grasp the dilemma of saying no in contrasting situations and the art of diluting social pressure. Acquaint yourself with the principle of opportunity cost and its immense relevance to making mindful trade-offs. Show Notes: 00:00:00 - Introduction, Dr. Vanessa Patrick is the author of The Power of Saying No and a professor of marketing. Her research focuses on understanding why people struggle with saying no and the importance of setting boundaries. In this episode, she discusses the dual drivers behind saying yes when we want to say no. 00:05:39 - The Fear of Saying No, Dr. Patrick explains that the fear of saying no stems from our desire to be liked and our concern for our reputation. We often say yes to maintain relationships and be seen as competent. However, saying no strategically can actually help us develop our unique skills and be known for our expertise. 00:07:50 - The Motivation Behind Studying Saying No, Dr. Patrick shares that her initial research focused on self-discipline and resisting temptation through self-talk. After publishing her findings, she realized the widespread struggle with saying no and the importance of understanding how to say no effectively. This led her to further explore the topic and eventually write her book. 00:11:25 - The Power of "Don't" vs. "Can't" Dr. Patrick introduces the concept of using "don't" instead of "can't" when saying no. By saying "I don't" instead of "I can't," we appear more empowered and in control. This small shift in language can make a significant difference in how others perceive our refusal. 00:16:05 - Building Personal Policies, Vanessa Patrick discusses the importance of reflecting on our beliefs and values to establish personal policies that guide our actions and decisions. These policies, similar to mental budgets, help us stick to our desired goals and make it easier to say no in various situations. 00:18:04 - Being the "Kind of Person" Who Says No, Vanessa emphasizes the power of framing our decisions as reflections of our identity. By saying "I'm the kind of person who..." we can effectively communicate our boundaries and say no more effectively. 00:19:26 - Navigating Asks in the Workplace, Vanessa provides a framework for deciphering asks in the workplace. She distinguishes between urgent and important tasks that require immediate action, and non-promotable tasks that may distract from our main responsibilities. She highlights the importance of balancing participation in non-promotable tasks and ensuring fairness in task distribution. 00:23:24 - Finding Value in Non-Promotable Tasks, Vanessa acknowledges that some individuals may find value in non-promotable tasks, such as party planning, as it aligns with their personal interests or provides visibility. However, she encourages individuals to ensure they are not solely responsible for these tasks and to create an environment where everyone's strengths are leveraged. 00:27:28 - Reframing Saying No, Vanessa reminds us that saying no is not a rejection of the person making the request, but a refusal of the ask. By reframing our mindset, saying no can become much easier. 00:32:25 - Is It A Salt or Lasagna Ask?, Vanessa explains the concept of "pass the salt" asks, which are easy and low-cost requests that can have a high benefit for the person asking. She also introduces the idea of "bake your famous lasagna" asks, which are requests that are costly for the person asked but have no real impact. Vanessa emphasizes the importance of saying no to these types of asks and prioritizing the "Hero's Journey" asks that make a difference in the world. 00:35:13 - Opportunity Cost and Saying No, Vanessa discusses the concept of opportunity cost and how every time we say yes to something, we are saying no to other opportunities. She highlights the need to intentionally consider the opportunity cost of our decisions and the importance of saying no to things that don't align with our values and goals. 00:37:10 - The (Non)Selfishness of Saying No, Vanessa challenges the notion that saying no is selfish, explaining that it is actually selfish for someone to ask us to do something that doesn't matter to us or leverage our strengths. She encourages individuals to recognize their right to say no and not feel guilty about it. 00:38:02 - Tips and Resources for Saying No, Melina mentions that Vanessa's book provides valuable tips and strategies for saying no, especially in different situations such as with bosses. Vanessa emphasizes the power of an empowered refusal, which effectively conveys your stance based on your values and priorities. She encourages individuals to own their no's and not make excuses or be wishy washy -- own those nos! 00:39:04 - Conclusion, Melina's top insights from the conversation. What stuck with you while listening to the episode? What are you going to try? Come share it with Melina on social media -- you'll find her as @thebrainybiz everywhere and as Melina Palmer on LinkedIn. Thanks for listening. Don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Android. If you like what you heard, please leave a review on iTunes and share what you liked about the show.  I hope you love everything recommended via The Brainy Business! Everything was independently reviewed and selected by me, Melina Palmer. So you know, as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. That means if you decide to shop from the links on this page (via Amazon or others), The Brainy Business may collect a share of sales or other compensation. Let's connect: Melina@TheBrainyBusiness.com The Brainy Business® on Facebook The Brainy Business on Twitter The Brainy Business on Instagram The Brainy Business on LinkedIn Melina on LinkedIn The Brainy Business on Youtube Learn and Support The Brainy Business: Check out and get your copies of Melina's Books.  Get the Books Mentioned on (or related to) this Episode: The Power of Saying No, by Vanessa Patrick Influence Is Your Superpower, by Zoe Chance You Have More Influence Than You Think, by Vanessa Bohns Magic Words, by Jonah Berger What Your Employees Need and Can't Tell You, by Melina Palmer Connect with Vanessa:  Vanessa on Twitter Follow Vanessa on LinkedIn Vanessa's Website Top Recommended Next Episode: Influence Is Your Superpower, with Zoe Chance (ep 308) Already Heard That One? Try These:  Behavioral Science in the Wild, with Dilip Soman (ep 241) Framing (ep 296) You Have More Influence Than You Think, with Vanessa Bohns (ep 197) Influence, with Robert Cialdini (ep 157) Getting Along, with Amy Gallo (ep 269) A More Just Future, with Dolly Chugh (ep 247) Priming (ep 252) Framing (ep 296) Magic Words, with Jonah Berger (ep 301) Game Theory (ep 228) Inequity Aversion (ep 224) Mental Accounting (ep 282) Get It Done, with Ayelet Fishbach (ep 186) Defaults (ep 38) Subtract, with Leidy Klotz (ep 162) Other Important Links:  Brainy Bites - Melina's LinkedIn Newsletter

Meet the award-winning author of "The Power of Saying No” Vanessa Patrick, PhD. is the Associate Dean for Research, Executive Director of Doctoral Programs (PhD and DBA), a Bauer Professor of Marketing and lead faculty of the Executive Women in Leadership Program at the Bauer School of Business at the University of Houston. She has been recognized with a number of awards for both scholarship and teaching, including the LeRoy and Lucille Melcher Faculty Excellence award from the Bauer College of Business for Research Excellence (2011), Service Excellence (2016) and Teaching Excellence (2018). The Marketing Science Institute named her one of the top young scholars in the field. In 2012, she was named one of the top 50 most productive marketing scholars worldwide by the DocSig of the American Marketing Association.

Meet the award-winning author of "The Power of Saying No” Vanessa Patrick, PhD. is the Associate Dean for Research, Executive Director of Doctoral Programs (PhD and DBA), a Bauer Professor of Marketing and lead faculty of the Executive Women in Leadership Program at the Bauer School of Business at the University of Houston. She has been recognized with a number of awards for both scholarship and teaching, including the LeRoy and Lucille Melcher Faculty Excellence award from the Bauer College of Business for Research Excellence (2011), Service Excellence (2016) and Teaching Excellence (2018). The Marketing Science Institute named her one of the top young scholars in the field. In 2012, she was named one of the top 50 most productive marketing scholars worldwide by the DocSig of the American Marketing Association.

When someone asks us to do something we don't want to do, we often say yes even though we want to say no, because we think that saying no will feel terrible. But my guest, Dr. Vanessa Patrick, says the opposite is true: we actually feel great when we say no.So why do we have such a hard time doing so?Today on the show, Vanessa, who's the author of The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life, answers that question and more. She shares how to categorize the asks you get into quadrants to determine whether you should say yes or no to them. And she explains how to give an “empowered refusal” — a no that's phrased in a way that makes it less likely to create offense or pushback — so you can start saying no to the things that don't matter, and spend more of your time on the things that do.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: How to Firmly Say No Without Coming Off Like a JerkAoM Article: A Better Way to Say NoSunday Firesides: Give the Gift of NoAoM Article: Quit Being a Pushover: How to Be AssertiveAoM Article: There Is No Indispensable ManConnect With Dr. Vanessa PatrickVanessa's websiteVanessa on LinkedInVanessa on TwitterVanessa on IGVanessa's faculty page 

Dr. Zoe Chance emphasizes the importance of examining problems from different perspectives and setting long-term goals for success. Approaching problem-solving differently can result in innovative solutions that others might overlook. By aligning these objectives with Zoe's "magic question," individuals can foster a sense of collaboration and create opportunities for progress. Throughout the podcast, Dr. Chance shares stories of how people have successfully applied the magic question in various situations. For instance, she recounts the story of Gloria Steinem, who addressed the issue of sex trafficking in a Zambian village by asking the magic question, leading to a revelation that an electric fence was required to protect crops from elephants. Such examples reinforce the importance of aligning long-term goals with the magic question in order to effectively influence and create meaningful change. This episode, which features many insights from Zoe's book, Influence is Your Superpower, also highlights the importance of saying "No" (with a challenge to do so to every request for 24 hours) and the interesting way she set up her book chapters (along with some tips for aspiring authors). In this episode, you will be able to: Enhance your connections and communication through the strength of influence. Achieve better work-life balance by saying 'no' and outlining clear-cut boundaries. Embrace an innovative way of addressing problems and designing future targets. Comprehend the workings of decision-making and how to convince others with competence. Show Notes: 00:00:00 - Introduction, Melina introduces Zoe Chance and her book Influence Is Your Superpower. She highlights the relevance of the topic to the upcoming guest, Vanessa Patrick's book, The Power of Saying No. 00:03:24 - From Theater to Sales, Zoe talks about her experience in theater and how it helped her develop the skills to communicate, move, and connect with people. She also narrates her experience in sales, door-to-door sales, telemarketing, and marketing, where she learned about rejection and the importance of being comfortable with saying (and hearing) no. 00:06:44 - The Power of No, Zoe introduces her 24-hour no challenge, which she did for a whole month one November, and the 24-hour no challenge she gives her students. She explains how saying no can help build healthy relationships and create space in one's life. She also emphasizes the importance of not justifying one's no and the need to disentangle the request from the relationship. 00:10:23 - Handling Objections, Zoe talks about handling objections in sales training, addressing all the different kinds of objections that someone might have. She reveals that most sales training is about handling objections. She adds that it is often a good idea not to justify one's no because it can create a way for them to convince you to change your mind. 00:13:00 - The Worst Thing They Can Say is No, Zoe explains the mindset that "the worst thing they can say is no," -- how this is both helpful and harmful. 00:15:33 - Framing and Half Chapters, Zoe discusses her use of framing in her book, Influence Is Your Superpower, and how she structured the chapters to include shorter chapters between longer ones to create more momentum and ease of reading. She also shares her love for Harry Potter and how she used references to create a little magic for readers. 00:19:16 - The Magic of Harry Potter, Melina and Zoe bond over their love for Harry Potter and share their experiences visiting the Harry Potter Studios outside London. They discuss the level of thoughtfulness and detail that went into creating the world of Harry Potter and how it inspires them in their own work. 00:23:49 - The Power of Framing, Zoe explains the concept of framing and shares an example from her idol, Derren Brown, a mind reader and illusionist who is a master at directing attention. She discusses how framing works to focus our attention on one thing and make us ignore everything else, and how this is a metaphor for how our brain makes decisions. 00:29:22 - The Influence of Derren Brown, Melina and Zoe discuss the work of Derren Brown and how he is an expert in influence, even though he is not an academic. They share examples of how he uses questioning techniques to get people to believe certain things and how he can get them to choose something different from what they originally wanted. 00:31:38 - The Importance of Experimentation, Zoe emphasizes the importance of experimentation in behavioral science and how it is critical to test and iterate on things. 00:31:31 - Setting Goals and The Magic Question, Dr. Zoe Chance shares tips on setting long-term goals and using the magic question to collaborate and problem-solve with others. The magic question involves asking "What it would take...?" to achieve a specific goal or overcome an obstacle. By doing this, it shifts the mindset from resistance to collaboration, and the other person becomes committed to supporting the outcome. 00:35:20 - Personal Journey of Transformation, The book Influence Is Your Superpower is a personal journey of transformation to becoming someone that people want to say yes to. It provides readers with the tools needed to gain influence through personal and professional relationships. The book is focused on collaboration and problem-solving to achieve goals. 00:37:06 - Connecting with Zoe Chance, The best way to get the book Influence Is Your Superpower is through Zoe Chance's website, Zoechance.com. You can connect with her on Twitter, where she shares tips and engages with readers. She encourages readers to share how they use the tips from the book. 00:38:39 - Using the Magic Question, The magic question "What would it take?" is a simple yet powerful tool that can be used to achieve goals and overcome obstacles. It involves asking the other person what it would take to achieve a specific goal or overcome an obstacle. This approach shifts the mindset from resistance to collaboration and helps to identify the roadmap needed to achieve the desired outcome. 00:39:14 - Conclusion, Melina's top insights from the conversation. What stuck with you while listening to the episode? What are you going to try? Come share it with Melina on social media -- you'll find her as @thebrainybiz everywhere and as Melina Palmer on LinkedIn. Thanks for listening. Don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Android. If you like what you heard, please leave a review on iTunes and share what you liked about the show.  I hope you love everything recommended via The Brainy Business! Everything was independently reviewed and selected by me, Melina Palmer. So you know, as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. That means if you decide to shop from the links on this page (via Amazon or others), The Brainy Business may collect a share of sales or other compensation. Let's connect: Melina@TheBrainyBusiness.com The Brainy Business® on Facebook The Brainy Business on Twitter The Brainy Business on Instagram The Brainy Business on LinkedIn Melina on LinkedIn The Brainy Business on Youtube Learn and Support The Brainy Business: Check out and get your copies of Melina's Books.  Get the Books Mentioned on (or related to) this Episode: Influence Is Your Superpower, by Zoe Chance You Have More Influence Than You Think, by Vanessa Bohns Magic Words, by Jonah Berger The Power of Saying No, by Vanessa Patrick What Your Employees Need and Can't Tell You, by Melina Palmer Connect with Zoe:  Zoe on Twitter Follow Zoe on LinkedIn Zoe's Website Top Recommended Next Episode: A More Beautiful Question, with Warren Berger (ep 200) Already Heard That One? Try These:  Framing (ep 296) You Have More Influence Than You Think, with Vanessa Bohns (ep 197) Influence, with Robert Cialdini (ep 157) 5 Years, 299 Episodes, These Are Your Favorites (ep 299) Getting Along, with Amy Gallo (ep 269) A More Just Future, with Dolly Chugh (ep 247) Non-Obvious Thinking, with Rohit Bhargava (ep 297) What is Questionstorming? (ep 215) Priming (ep 252) Framing (ep 296) What is Cognitive Semiotics? With Sarah Thompson (ep 259) Leveraging Metaphor, with Olson Zaltman (ep 181)  Magic Words, with Jonah Berger (ep 301) The Sense of Sight (episode 24) The IKEA Effect (ep 112) Other Important Links:  Brainy Bites - Melina's LinkedIn Newsletter Zoe's Yale Faculty Page How to Make a Behavior Addictive: Zoë Chance at TEDxMillRiver Derren Brown, The Apocalypse Derren Brown, Perfect Present

"Why Did I Say Yes?" We've talked in past episodes about how, unless there's a compelling reason to say No, say Yes--that there are opportunities for growth and learning when we have a bias for Yes. Yet we've all ended up in a trap that was set by saying Yes when No would have been a better answer. So how do we navigate that? Well, I'm excited to introduce you to a fantastic new book entitled The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life. In this episode, you'll learn why we're tempted to say Yes when No would be a better answer. If you've ever told yourself you're a people pleaser, Vanessa will tell you why you need to stop saying that! By the time we're done, you'll know what a stadium proposal moment is, how the spotlight effect plays into this, and learn to recognize a pattern Vanessa calls “Hey, would you make your famous lasagna?” Even better, you're going to learn about a potentially life-transforming idea called an empowered refusal. I can't wait to share this discussion with you! Learn more about Vanessa and her book at VanessaPatrick.net/.   AI for Project Managers and Leaders With the constant stream of AI news, it's sometimes hard to grasp how these advancements can benefit us as project managers and leaders in our day-to-day work. That's why I developed a new e-learning course: AI Made Simple: A Practical Guide to Using AI in Your Everyday Work. This self-guided course is designed for project managers and leaders aiming to harness AI's potential to enhance your work, streamline your workflow, and boost your productivity. Go to ai.i-leadonline.com to learn more and join us. The feedback from the program has been fantastic. Take this opportunity to unlock the potential of AI for your team and projects. Thank you for joining me for this episode of The People and Projects Podcast! Talent Triangle: Power Skills   The following music was used for this episode: Music: Summer Morning [Full version] by MusicLFilesbr>Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/11262-summer-morning-full-version License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Music: Fashion Corporate by Frank Schroeter Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/11233-fashion-corporate License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Deception is everywhere. Fake psychics, dodgy investment deals, cults, and pesky scam calls can be hard to detect, even for the smartest or most vigilant individuals. This poses the question of what makes us vulnerable and what precautions we can take?  Joining us for this episode are two exceptional cognitive scientists, Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons. Through studies and findings from their highly anticipated book, "Nobody's Fool, Why We Get Taken In, and What We Can Do About It" they provide us with valuable insight into how to navigate the treacherous world of deception.  In this fascinating conversation, Christopher and Daniel unveil the cognitive biases that plague us all while offering practical ways to safeguard ourselves from being duped. Drawing upon real-life situations, they come equipped with an arsenal of tactics that can be incorporated into your daily life and that won't breed paranoia or leave you in a perpetual state of vigilance—quite the opposite! Their goal is to provide you with the knowledge to navigate life confidently, cautiously, and securely. Listen and Learn:  Is everyone susceptible to being duped? How have Daniel and Christopher become savvier at recognizing scams as a result of writing and researching their book, Nobody's Fool? Daniel's clever suggestion for protecting your family from scam calls   How ‘truth bias' can make us more vulnerable in day-to-day life  Why do we often fail to see something that's right in front of us? Even something so glaringly apparent? Principle of focus: what does it mean, and how is it used as a means to deceive? How our beliefs and expectations can deter us from seeing what is actually there and how to avoid falling victim to the trap Why it's crucial to consider all of the information that you're missing when interpreting information or data that is presented to you How can we protect ourselves from being fooled when the risk is high? The “illusory truth effect”: why do we have a tendency to treat familiarity as a sign of fact? How can we find that balance between accepting the truth bias and being cautious? Resources:  Christopher Chabris Follow Christopher on Twitter  Daniel Simons Follow Daniel on Twitter Nobody's Fool, Why We Get Taken In, and What We Can Do About It The Invisible Gorilla: How Our Intuitions Deceive Us Gorilla Experiment Influence: Science and Practice by Robert Cialdini  About Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris: Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris are the authors of the 2010 New York Times Bestseller, The Invisible Gorilla: How Our Intuitions Deceive Us, which has been translated into 20 languages. They have collaborated on research for more than 25 years, and they jointly received the 2004 Ig Nobel Prize (given for research that "first makes you laugh and then makes you think"). They have contributed to The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Slate, and other national publications, and their work has appeared in science museums worldwide. They spent nearly a decade researching and writing Nobody's Fool. Related Episodes: 295. Buyer Beware: Pseudoscience and the Wellness Industry, featuring Pooja Lakshmin    255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance 196. The Neuroscience of Marketing with Matt Johnson and Prince Ghuman 305. The Power of Saying No with Vanessa Patrick  186. Set Boundaries Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab:  276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Vanessa Patrick shares the science behind why we struggle to say no—and what you can do to get better at refusing. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) The three competencies of empowered refusal. 2) What to do when someone's being pushy. 3) Why it's better for your reputation to say no. Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep878 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT VANESSA — Vanessa Patrick, PhD. is the Associate Dean for Research, the Bauer Professor of Marketing, and lead faculty of the Executive Women in Leadership Program at the Bauer School of Business at the University of Houston. She has a PhD in business from the University of Southern California, Los Angeles. She is the author of The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts you in Charge of your Life. • Book: The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life • Instagram: vanpat23 • LinkedIn: Vanessa Patrick • Twitter: @vpatrick23 • Website: VanessaPatrick.net — RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Book: Lessons in Chemistry: A Novel by Bonnie Garmus • Past episode: 701: How to Get People to Say Yes through the Power of Persuasion with Vanessa Bohns See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Vanessa Patrick, award-winning Marketing Professor and researcher at the Bauer School of Business at the University of Houston, joins Marketing Matters to discuss her new book "The Power of Saying No". ​ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Vanessa Patrick: The Power of Saying No Vanessa Patrick is the Associate Dean for Research, Executive Director of Doctoral Programs, a Bauer Professor of Marketing and lead faculty of the Executive Women in Leadership Program at the Bauer School of Business at the University of Houston. She has been recognized with a number of awards for both scholarship and teaching and was named one of the top 50 most productive marketing scholars worldwide by the DocSig of the American Marketing Association. Vanessa was appointed as a Fulbright Specialist (2019-24) by the U.S. Department of State, Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs. She is a prominent scholar in her field and serves on editorial and policy boards of leading academic journals. She is currently an Associate Editor for the Journal of Marketing Research and the Journal of Marketing and she's the author of The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You in Charge of Your Life*. Most leaders know that it's important to say no to requests that aren't the right use of time and resources. But how do you navigate this when the other party is likely to respond in a difficult way? In this conversation, Vanessa and I explore the patterns of difficult askers and how we can do a better job of responding when we're interacting with them. Key Points We all have both marigolds and walnut trees in our lives. Marigold protect and strengthen us - walnut trees crowd out our time and interfere. Difficult askers often confront us with face-to-face requests, use their home court advantage, and insist on an immediate response. Pushback is normal and expected. It's helpful to view it as a hurdle to overcome vs. something to avoid. Either way, we will spend the energy. Resentment is a helpful indicator that difficult askers are taking too much power. Establish personal polices that provide guidelines so you can proactively come back to values when considering requests. It's helpful to consider advance requests in the context of fulfilling the commitment immediately, otherwise we'll continue to feel the pressure of resentment and Resources Mentioned The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You in Charge of Your Life* by Vanessa Patrick Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Say No Without Saying No, with Lois Frankel (episode 471) How to Speak Up, with Connson Locke (episode 546) How to Help People Speak Truth to Power, with Megan Reitz (episode 597) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Why does a two-letter word ('no') often cause us huge amounts of problems? After all, it's easy to say… except when it isn't. We've all found ourselves in situations where we've wanted to say 'no' but, for some reason, haven't been able to do so.From a human risk perspective, it's not hard to see how finding it hard to say 'no', can crystallise human risk; it can lead to people doing things they aren't qualified to do, don't feel morally right about doing or simply don't want to.So, how can we put as much emphasis on ‘just say no' as ‘yes we can'?The answer comes courtesy of my guest Dr Vanessa Patrick who has just published a book called 'The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life'Vanessa is the Associate Dean for Research, Executive Director of Doctoral Programs (PhD and DBA), a Bauer Professor of Marketing and lead faculty of the Executive Women in Leadership Program at the Bauer School of Business at the University of Houston.In our dsiucssion, Vanessa explains the concept of 'empowered refusal', a skill that helps us say no in a way that does not invite pushback from others. She also highlightst why saying no is difficult because society expects us to say yes. Three factors that affect our ability to say no are concern for relationships, concern for reputation, and lack of practice in saying no.Key points from our discussion:Why the ability to say no is a skill worth developing and can be done by identifying what matters to us and what is a good use of our time;How good work is excellent, engaging, and ethical, and we should focus on tasks that fall within this framework;Vanessa refers to difficult people who refuse to take no for an answer as Walnut Trees; hear why and how we can develop strategies to handle them;Surrounding ourselves with positive and nurturing people, or what Vanessa calls marigolds, is important for our well-being; andRecognizing and managing our interactions with others can help us prioritize our time and focus on relationships that bring us joy.To find out more about Vanessa, her research and her book, visit her website:https://www.vanessapatrick.net/Listeners too young to know what a fax machine is, can find out here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FaxFor more on my book 'Humanizing Rules: Bringing Behavioural Science to Ethics & Compliance' and to read the first few chapters for free visit www.humanizingrules.comTo hear previous episodes you might have missed visit www.humanriskpodcast.com

Saying no can seem risky. We worry about offending others, damaging relationships, or hurting our own reputation. But as Vanessa Patrick says, no is an empowering word that gives us greater agency in our lives.Saying no “is not a rejection of the other person,” says Patrick, a professor of Marketing at the University of Houston. Instead, it allows you to set boundaries and “[give] voice to what you believe and what you care about.” In her book, The Power of Saying No, Patrick introduces what she calls “empowered refusal,” a way of saying no that's rooted in one's identity, values, priorities, and preferences. “An empowered no,” she says, “is about us, not a rejection of the other person.”In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Patrick and host Matt Abrahams explore how to use the power of no, how to move from strategy forming to strategy implementation, and how to resist momentary pleasures that distract us from our larger goals.More Resources: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessapatrick23/ https://uh.edu/news-events/stories/2023/june-2023/05012023-patrick-empowered-no.php For a full transcript of this episode visit: https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/business-podcasts/think-fast-talk-smart-podcast See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Saying yes to tasks that we want to say no to is a common problem. But how do we decide which requests to turn down? Dr Vanessa Patrick PhD strategically breaks down asks into 4 useful categories. Learn to say yes to requests that align with your identity and how to communicate an empowered refusal.    “A no that stems from your identity is a much more empowered no”   Dr Vanessa Patrick PhD is a Professor of Marketing and the Associate Dean for Research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston. Her recent book “The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You in Charge of Your Life” is an extremely practical guide in how to turn down the requests that don't align with your identity.   While Vanessa's academic research is rigorous and interesting, it is her poetic ability to translate her findings into useful frameworks and practical advice that makes her work resonate so powerfully. Her analogy of persistent askers being like a walnut tree evokes beautiful imagery that helps illustrate her point. And Tim's favorite quote from the conversation is “we leak power through our nonverbal skills.” Join our discussion to learn how this elegant nugget of wisdom can help us overcome our communication weaknesses.   Producer of Behavioral Grooves, Mary Kaliff, joins regular host Tim Houlihan on this podcast episode to ask Vanessa the questions that will help you communicate empowered refusals. We figure out how to say no to tasks that don't align with our identity and our personal priorities. But we also delve into some areas that Vanessa doesn't address in the book, such as the social norms in individualistic and collective societies, and of course, the musical influences that have shaped Vanessa's life.   And for regular listeners, you'll be relieved to know that while Kurt Nelson sadly missed the interview with Vanessa, he joins Tim and Mary in the Grooving Session to summarize and develop the key points from the discussion.   Topics  (2:56) Welcome and speed round questions. (5:13) Should we frame a refusal with “I can't” or “I don't”? (6:37) Saying no to a complete stranger compared to friends & family. (7:28) What is an empowered refusal? (10:30) Should we sometimes say yes? (12:44) How to overcome the flattery of being asked. (15:07) Why women are at much greater risk of saying yes. (16:59) How to break down asks into 4 categories. (20:26) Why you don't want to be walnut tree! (23:44) Why it's harder to say no to more powerful people. (25:07) What is compassionate self control? (30:41) The difference with empowered refusal in collective vs individualistic societies. (32:46) The 3 competencies of empowered refusal. (35:46) Life choices that have influenced Vanessa's musical choices. (41:13) Grooving Session with Tim, Mary and Kurt on saying no!   © 2023 Behavioral Grooves   Links  Vanessa's book, “The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You in Charge of Your Life”: https://amzn.to/42N3cm1  Episode 277, No Regrets? Really? Why Regrets Actually Bring Us Hope with Daniel H. Pink: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/why-regrets-bring-us-hope/  Episode 350, How One Small Word Can Transform Our Motivation, Success And Relationships with Jonah Berger: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/words-can-transform-jonah-berger/  Episode 278, How Can Smart, Kind People Harness Their Influence? Zoe Chance: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/harness-influence-zoe-chance/  Episode 325, Can You Unlearn History And Still Love Your Country? With Dolly Chugh: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/dolly-chugh/  Episode 18, Stars – Cores – Laggards – Better Incentives for Your Sales Reps featuring Dr. Michael Ahearne: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/stars-cores-laggards-better-incentives-for-your-sales-reps-featuring-dr-michael-ahearne/  Patrick, Vanessa & Hagtvedt, Henrik. (2012). “I Don't” versus “I Can't”: When Empowered Refusal Motivates Goal-Directed Behavior. Journal of Consumer Research: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/239810645_I_Don't_versus_I_Can't_When_Empowered_Refusal_Motivates_Goal-Directed_Behavior  Patrick, Vanessa and Mead, Nicole (2016) , The taming of desire: Unspecific postponement reduces desire for and consumption of postponed temptations: https://ssrn.com/abstract=3602254 The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz: https://amzn.to/3NdIHcw  Behavioral Grooves Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/behavioralgrooves   Musical Links  Phantom of the Opera: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGb4hj-EXt0  Elvis Presley “Hound Dog”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNYWl13IWhY 

You probably don't say no to people enough, especially if it's to your boss. Like most of us, you are conditioned to cooperate with others, which means we usually say yes to most requests to avoid conflict. However, learning to say no in the right way, might also avoid conflict while simultaneously giving you back control over your life.  We host author Vanessa Patrick, Associate Dean for Research, Professor of Marketing, and researcher in the Consumer Behavior Marketing field, to talk about this right way to say no based on her book, "The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No to take Charge of Your Life." Patrick addresses this critical skill in her book, as well as its relationship to saying no to ourselves through self-regulation or self-control.   Patrick's past research often depicts self-control as an upbeat version of self-discipline. Self-control serves as a reflection of your values, rather than self-imposed constraints. Patrick believes defining and defending these boundaries to others enables you to make decisions that create more fun and happiness in your life, particularly regarding the things you already said yes to.  In this episode, we explore the idea of personal policies, or the rules we set that should guide our decisions. Calling it compassionate self-control, Patrick says this approach facilitates having your needs driving your decisions. It also means that instead of looking out for cues from other about how to respond to these requests, we look within ourselves.   Here are some other key moments in the discussion: 01:29 Ryan introduces our guest and who then talks about her past research and explains how that led to the premise behind her new book. 06:16 Patrick explains the three competencies she identified that are essential to the “Art of Empowered Refusal.” 16:01. We discuss the significance of personal policies to guide your decisions and the two forms they can take to aid in that effort. 25:06  Patrick explains the importance of using empowering language, especially when talking to ourselves.  32:05  We discuss the practical applications of this concept in your life and how you can leverage Empowered Refusal in your life and work.  _________________________________________________________________ Did you know we have a YouTube Channel too? Check it out here. Connect with Colin on LinkedIn HERE. Follow Colin on Twitter HERE. Click HERE to learn more about Professor Ryan Hamilton of Emory University.  To learn more about Beyond Philosophy's Suite of Services Click here.

You probably don't say no to people enough, especially if it's to your boss. Like most of us, you are conditioned to cooperate with others, which means we usually say yes to most requests to avoid conflict. However, learning to say no in the right way, might also avoid conflict while simultaneously giving you back control over your life.  We host author Vanessa Patrick, Associate Dean for Research, Professor of Marketing, and researcher in the Consumer Behavior Marketing field, to talk about this right way to say no based on her book, "The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No to take Charge of Your Life." Patrick addresses this critical skill in her book, as well as its relationship to saying no to ourselves through self-regulation or self-control.   Patrick's past research often depicts self-control as an upbeat version of self-discipline. Self-control serves as a reflection of your values, rather than self-imposed constraints. Patrick believes defining and defending these boundaries to others enables you to make decisions that create more fun and happiness in your life, particularly regarding the things you already said yes to.  In this episode, we explore the idea of personal policies, or the rules we set that should guide our decisions. Calling it compassionate self-control, Patrick says this approach facilitates having your needs driving your decisions. It also means that instead of looking out for cues from other about how to respond to these requests, we look within ourselves.   Here are some other key moments in the discussion: 01:29 Ryan introduces our guest and who then talks about her past research and explains how that led to the premise behind her new book. 06:16 Patrick explains the three competencies she identified that are essential to the “Art of Empowered Refusal.” 16:01. We discuss the significance of personal policies to guide your decisions and the two forms they can take to aid in that effort. 25:06  Patrick explains the importance of using empowering language, especially when talking to ourselves.  32:05  We discuss the practical applications of this concept in your life and how you can leverage Empowered Refusal in your life and work.  _________________________________________________________________ Did you know we have a YouTube Channel too? Check it out here. Connect with Colin on LinkedIn HERE. Follow Colin on Twitter HERE. Click HERE to learn more about Professor Ryan Hamilton of Emory University.  To learn more about Beyond Philosophy's Suite of Services Click here.

Have you ever said yes to something you wanted to say no to? Vanessa Patrick hears it all the time, which is why her new book, The Power of Saying No, is here to help reshape that mindset. In this episode of Brand Story, we talk with Vanessa about the art of empowered refusal, and how saying no isn't a rejection. She shares personal anecdotes and tips for how you can reshape your thinking and better prioritize what's important. Because while saying no can be difficult, it doesn't have to be.This is Brand Story, a podcast celebrating the stories of real people who are making an impact on brands, business, and the world around them. Episodes feature guests from a variety of backgrounds who bring their own unique perspectives to the conversation.Brand Story is created and produced by Gravity Group, a full-service brand and marketing agency, and is hosted by Gravity Group President, Steve Gilman.Links and Information From the Episode Here: https://www.gravitygroup.com/podcast/xxxxxxxxContinue the conversation on social:For more of Brand Story, check out our LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/company/gravitygroupmarketing), where we'll post previews and highlights of shows, behind-the-scenes sneak peeks, plus other marketing news you can use.We're also on: Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/gravitygroupFacebook — https://www.facebook.com/gravitygroupmarketing(00:00) Introduction - Vanessa Patrick(01:41) Why do we Say Yes when we Want to Say No?(03:26) Vanessa's Motivation for her book(06:41) What is an Empowered No(10:33) Preserving your Brand(14:43) The A.R.T. of Empowered Refusal(18:29) Why Empowered Refusal Works(21:51) Different Types of Asks(25:45) Hero's Journey Asks(27:05) Saying No to Your Boss(31:10) This Chapter of Vanessa Patrick's Life(31:49) Advice for Younger Self

Dr. Vanessa Patrick joins me today. We talk about her new book The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You in Charge of Your Life. Support the showMore about Conversations About Collaboration: Tweet at Phil Simon. Support the show via Patreon. Contact Phil Simon.

In this episode, we get excited about two new books — The Power of Saying No by Vanessa Patrick and Bad Summer People by Emma Rosenblum — then Dave shares fun facts about Shakespeare's First Folio. LINKS The Power of Saying No by Vanessa Patrick Bad Summer People by Emma Rosenblum SSoP Podcast Episode 53 — Theater: Act One, Scene I, Lights Up. Celebrating the 400th anniversary of the Bard's First Folio. Video: Unboxing Shakespeare's First Folio. The Book of William: How Shakespeare's First Folio Conquered the World by Paul Collins. Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell Transcript of this episode. The Library of Lost Time is a Strong Sense of Place Production! https://strongsenseofplace.com Do you enjoy our show? Want access to fun bonus content? Please support our work on Patreon. Every little bit helps us keep the show going and makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside - https://www.patreon.com/strongsenseofplace As always, you can find us at: Our site Instagram Facebook Twitter Patreon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've all been there: saying yes when we really wanted to say no. It happens all the time, from work requests and invitations, or favors for friends. Saying no can result in offense, awkwardness, and sometimes even trouble with relationships and reputations, so we often choose yes instead. However, in this episode, our guest encourages us to change our mindset. Saying no can actually empower us and should be seen as a valuable skill. Author Vanessa Patrick graces this episode to teach us the ins and outs of effective no-saying in her book, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You in Charge of Your Life. With experience, research, and sage advice to offer, Vanessa emphasizes why mastering the art of "no" is crucial and how to use our own values to make the right decisions. Listen and Learn  What fueled Vanessa to research and write about the topic of saying no?  When it comes to saying no, why do we find it so difficult? The main drivers of saying ‘yes' when we want to say ‘no'. The Acquaintance Trap. Why saying yes can actually backfire sometimes.  The Spotlight Effect and how you can better manage this when put on the spot. How to use The ART of Empowered Refusal to say no that does not invite pushback. How the two-by-two framework can be used to help categorize an ask and decide if it should be answered with a yes or a no. Tips to manage pushback when we say ‘no'. Do people in power receive fewer consequences for saying no than those from marginalized groups? Resources  Vanessa's website: https://www.vanessapatrick.net/ Follow Vanessa on LinkedIn (@vanessapatrick23), Twitter (@sourcebooks / @vpatrick23), Tik Tok (@sourcebooksnonfiction) and Instagram (@vanpat23) Follow Sourcebooks on Twitter (@sourcebooks), Tik Tok (@sourcebooksnonfiction) and Facebook (@sourcebooksnonfiction) The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You in Charge of Your Life: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781728251523 Pinkcast 1.17: Why you should say “I don't” instead of “I can't.” How to Say No, Resist Temptation, and Stick to Your Health Goals How Saying “I Don't” at Work Can Change Your Life A Policy of Saying ‘No' Can Save You Time and Guilt “I Don't” Beats “I Can't” for Self-Control This Simple Trick Makes Breaking Bad Habits Up To 8 Times Easier About Vanessa Patrick Vanessa Patrick, PhD, is the Associate Dean for Research, the Bauer Professor of Marketing, and lead faculty of the Executive Women in Leadership Program at the Bauer School of Business at the University of Houston. She has a PhD in business from the University of Southern California and an MBA in marketing and a BS degree in microbiology and biochemistry from Bombay University in India. Patrick is a regular speaker at both academic and practitioner conferences. She lives in Houston, Texas. Related Episodes  130. Working Less with Alex Pang 163. The Likeability Trap with Alicia Menendez 186. Set Boundaries Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab 211. Subtract with Leidy Klotz 276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson 293. Quit with Annie Duke 298. Drama Free with Nedra Tawwab Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever had trouble saying something simple, like "no?" No, I can't do that. What about all the times you might have said yes, when in your heart all you wanted to say was, no? Vanessa Patrick is an award-winning consumer psychologist, she's currently the associate dean at the Bauer School of Business, and now she's out with her new book, “The Power of Saying No.”  Have you ever said no, and it felt like you discovered a superpower you didn't know you even had? You have to learn how to say no so you can say yes to your life. Vanessa's got the secret – she calls it an “empowered refusal” – and we'll speak with her this episode.  

On episode 172, we welcome Dr. Vanessa Patrick to discuss the impact of people-pleasing behavior on mental health and relationships, learning to say no to break the cycle, the importance of setting boundaries, the role of cultural and societal expectations in making it difficult for individuals to say no, strategies for navigating these pressures, the relationship between saying no and decision-making and how it can help individuals make more intentional and purposeful choices, the difference between saying no and being rude, cultivating respect with assertiveness, how to effectively communicate boundaries without causing conflict, the connection between saying no and productivity, how to avoid burnout and feeling overwhelmed, the long-term benefits of saying no, and how doing so can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying life. Dr. Vanessa Patrick is a Professor of Marketing and the Associate Dean for Research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston. Dr. Patrick has published dozens of research articles in top-tier academic journals in psychology, marketing, and management, and popular accounts of her work have appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, NPR, Los Angeles Times, Business Week, Fast Company, Forbes, Huffington Post and Washington Post. In her research, she investigates strategies to achieve personal mastery and inspire everyday excellence in oneself and others and is a pioneer in the study of everyday consumer aesthetics. Her new book, available now, is called The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life.   | Dr. Vanessa Patrick | ► Website | https://www.vanessapatrick.net ► Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/vanpat23 ► Twitter l https://twitter.com/vpatrick23 ► Facebook l https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=4935501 ► Linkedin l https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessapatrick23 ► The Power of Saying No Book | https://amzn.to/42psmYk     Where you can find us: | Seize The Moment Podcast | ► Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/SeizeTheMoment ► Twitter | https://twitter.com/seize_podcast ► Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/seizethemoment ► TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@seizethemomentpodcast  

Positive Self Talk Self-talk:  How often do you hear that little voice in your head tell you that you aren't good enough? Negative self-talk can hinder your progress in life and hold you back from fulfilling your dreams. There are ways to turn your inner voice into a positive one.  Follow the ten tips below and create a new positive and pleasing voice that will build your confidence and improve your life. Pledges:   Positive affirmations can help program your mind to speak in a cheerful voice more often. They are positive statements written in the present tense. You should say them out loud first thing in the morning when you wake up and just before you go to sleep at night, as these are the times when your brain is most receptive. Regular repetition throughout the day will reinforce the positive pledge and help them to become second nature. Awareness:   It's essential to be aware of that voice in your head. Listen to what and how it is talking to you. If it is constantly negative, then you need to take action to turn it into a supportive and positive voice. Listen carefully, and when you catch a malicious thought, turn it into an optimistic statement instead. Meditation: Regular contemplation can help you develop greater power over your thoughts and emotions. You will learn how to listen carefully and to quieten your inner voice. This will help you create a sense of calm and peace, lessening stress and anxiety. As you gain greater control over your mind, you will be able to silence the negative voice when it starts to speak. Be Appreciative:    Think of at least three things you are grateful for daily. It's all too easy to lose yourself in the day's negative aspects and give in to the negative voice in your head. Instead, focus on the positive and be grateful. Write them down in a journal to remember them and revisit them if needed. Little acts of kindness, it suggested, are not only contagious but also restorative. Change Your Mindset:   Catastrophic thinking can be all too easy and take over in times of stress or anxiety. Instead of thinking of all the adverse outcomes, stand back and look at the problem from a different point of view. Creating a positive image within your mind will set up neural pathways to help you reach your goals. The more you reinforce this mental image, the more routes will be created. If information is available online to help you with your vision, use it to your advantage. Distance Yourself:  Create some distance between yourself and your emotions. A practical yet straightforward way to do this is to think in the third person. So instead of saying to yourself, “I'm angry with myself because…”, say, “You're outraged. Why?” A study by Ethan Kross, author of chatter, the voice in our heads, found that participants could regulate their emotions and reduce hurt by creating psychological distance. Change the script You are still getting caught up in negative thoughts. Listen to what you say, rephrase the thought more positively, challenge the negative assumptions, and look for solutions. I don't do that:   One simple change you can make is to use the phrase “I don't” instead of, “I can't”. By saying “I don't” you are taking responsibility and ownership of your thoughts. If you are trying to lose weight, then instead of saying, “I can't eat cake” say, “I don't eat cake”. The power of this approach was found in a study by Vanessa Patrick at the University of Houston. Address your emotional and cognitive needs When individuals need support, they are usually trying to fulfil two elements. These may be emotional needs or tangible advice about moving on or gaining closure. Managing both conditions is vital to your ability to calm the mind and reduce the inner chatter.  Use Neuro-linguistic programming NLP, Coaching or Hypnotherapy:   Read More

KCRW's Jonathan Bastian talks with behavioral scientist Leidy Klotz about his new book ‘Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less.' Klotz explains why we need to re-examine our human desire for more, more, more, and why it often prevents us from seeing the easier and more effective solutions. We also hear from Vanessa Patrick, professor of marketing at the University of Houston, on the art and language of saying “No.” Writer Simon Usborne reflects on how gymnast Simon Biles' and tennis player Naomi Osaka's decisions to say “No”  impact the world of sports and elite athletes, and ultimately, on ourselves.

KCRW's Jonathan Bastian talks with behavioral scientist Leidy Klotz about his new book ‘Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less.' Klotz explains why we need to re-examine our human desire for more, more, more, and why it often prevents us from seeing the easier and more effective solutions. We also hear from Vanessa Patrick, professor of marketing at the University of Houston, on the art and language of saying “No.” Writer Simon Usborne reflects on how gymnast Simon Biles' and tennis player Naomi Osaka's decisions to say “No”  impact the world of sports and elite athletes, and ultimately, on ourselves.

In retail the key to finding out what sells lies less in Big Data and more in consumers' heads says retail psychologist Vanessa Patrick. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.