Podcasts about Priam

 Karen Saves The Universe: Part 3Karen Embarks on a cure campaign.Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Karen sighed, "Might as well. Let's go kill the libido of an entire civilization, Holland."Holland took her arm and soon the cell where she was held disappeared and another space formed around them. Captain Hemsworth and several crew members from the ship stood nearby, as well as Ensign Holland who was still holding her arm, reassuringly. Looking around, Karen saw that they were in what appeared to be a sound-booth of sorts. One crewmember activated some equipment and moved one protruding tentacle closer to Karen's mouth and another toward Captain Hemsworth's."Are we ready, Ellis?" Captain Hemsworth asked, clearing his throat. Ellis nodded and stepped back from the tentacles. Hemsworth tapped the end of the tentacle and a booming noise reverberated around the room. He cleared his throat several more times and straightened his collar. "People of Priam! Your deliverance has come! You sent us forth among the stars to find the cure to the horrid addiction of filth that has infiltrated our minds and we have not failed you! We have dedicated our lives to this effort, foregone having families, and any comforts of home to bring you this salvation! Behold; The Karen!" he proclaimed, gesturing for Karen to speak."Um; hi?" Karen said, unsurely. Hemsworth glanced at Ellis who was reading some type of display. Ellis frowned and motioned for her to continue speaking. "Um; my name is Karen;""Hi Karen;” several crew members responded unanimously before Captain Hemsworth cut them off with a gesture."Um; I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to say. I heard you're all having some troubles. I'm sorry. I know what that's like. I've had some troubles, too. I married the wrong person; someone who didn't really love me. I wasn't brave and I tried to avoid trouble too much. I had four kids, but they grew up seeing me treated badly, so they don't really see me as being worth much; if they don't need me to be a mom anymore, what good am I to them? I love them, but; I wish I had done more with my life. Now, I'm getting a divorce; and now that I'm in my 50's, I'm not young and beautiful anymore, so it's like I'm invisible to most people. My body hurts more than it used to; and I'm afraid most days. I don't know what's going to happen to me. Everything keeps changing and I don't know where I belong. I feel like I've failed all the time. But, they said that maybe I could help you, so; I hope I can help make things better for you. I'd like to see something good come out of all this," Karen said, wiping some tears off her cheeks. Holland stepped next to her and took her hand. She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder."Ellis?" Hemsworth asked.Ellis looked up from the display, a disconcerted expression on his face. "I don't understand;” he murmured, leaning down and feverishly working on the equipment. "They're hearing it. I know they're hearing it;”"It's not working? She just spoke more than it took to knock out the entire bridge crew! What do you mean it's not working?" Hemsworth said, frustrated. Karen looked at Holland, who simply shrugged.Captain Hemsworth frowned with determination and motioned to Karen, "Speak again. Louder. Talk about the cobb salad! Men, brace yourselves!" he ordered."Cobb salad?" Karen repeated, surprised. "Oh, well, um; it's just yummy. It's got hard boiled eggs, tomatoes, bacon, and avocado on a bed of lettuce; chives and bleu cheese over the top is good, too. The nice thing is that all the ingredients are put into neat little rows across the lettuce, so you can choose exactly what you want in each bite! It's not just a big mess like other salads. You know, I could make you one ; do you guys have avocadoes?" she said enthusiastically, looking to Holland.Holland immediately began looking up something on his hand-held computer. "Av-o-ca-does; do they yield their young willingly, or do we need to;""What the hell is going on???" Captain Hemsworth yelled, grabbing Holland's ear and looking inside. "Holland! You're not wearing protection! Why aren't you unconscious on the floor?""Oh, um; they were kind of uncomfortable, and they made it hard to hear what she was remembering, and;""You Remembered With The Karen? What Is Wrong With You?" Hemsworth shouted, before calming himself. "Momoa, get some caffeline ready. I need to hear her again," he said, bracing himself as he pulled what looked like slugs out of his ears. "Speak again about the salad;”"Okay, uh; most like to eat it with a vinaigrette? I think that gets to be a bit too much if there's bleu cheese on top, though. Sometimes I'll get it with ranch or something creamy because then;""What the hell, Holland! What did you do to The Karen? I barely feel anything!" Hemsworth yelled, grabbing Holland by the uniform."Um; I don't know; we just talked and remembered; you know, she's really nice, if you get to;""Dammit, You've Broken The Karen, Holland! How Are We Supposed To;" Captain Hemsworth yelled until he was interrupted by a knock nearby.Lieutenant Ellis activated a control on his display and a hole formed in the wall of the room. An assembly of Priamites entered the room, as smoothly as if they were rolled in on a platform together. The crew of the Onan immediately fell prostrate on the floor before them. Karen, unwilling to lie face-down on a floor she hadn't cleaned herself, looked around uncomfortably and gave the assembly a small wave. One Priamite raised her hand to return the gesture but was quickly stopped by her neighbor."Welcome, crew of the Onan," one of the assembly said, followed by the rest of the assembly nodding agreeably. "We are most appreciative of all your; efforts. We realize that you have dedicated several of your lifetimes to freeing our civilization from the throes of pornographic addiction, and for your many sacrifices, we thank you," the speaker said, then glanced around uncomfortably at the others. "Most unexpectedly, ah; while the Eros Curse was most distressing to the initial generations, the subsequent generations acclimated to it rather quickly. Then, as fashions changed, the Eros Curse became more of a joke, really; dance mixes were made, memes;”"Excuse me?" Captain Hemsworth said, lifting his face from the floor."I mean, sure, the Eros Curse is still out there. It's just that it's just become something people live with. It doesn't take over our lives, but some indulge in it a little after the kids have gone to bed for the night. I mean, it's not really such a big deal. It adds a little spice to an otherwise boring life, you know?""Boring life?" Hemsworth repeated, rising to his feet. "Are you telling me that all of Priam just walks around, living life, thinking about; that?""Well, yes, but we are very grateful for all you and your crew have done for us. We express our thanks to all the crews of the ships we loaded up with uptight intellectuals that were determined to rid our civilization of; alternative thoughts. We have come here to present you and your crew with a commemorative plaque for all your;""Is this some kind of joke?" Hemsworth said, pacing around. "I've been trekking throughout the universe looking for a cure to your abhorrent lust-filled thoughts and now you just want to give me a plaque for a lifetime of sacrifice because you don't see a problem with your disgusting sticky existence?""Well, there's no need to kink-shame;” the assembly spokesperson muttered, "Honestly, you never wondered why they sent the most uptight assholes on the planet off on a vague 'mission' and never really asked for progress reports?""I don't believe this;” Hemsworth said, his eyes bulging, nostrils flaring. "We've sacrificed our lives for nothing???""Oh, I see where this is going;” Karen said to Holland, who seemed to be trying to assume a duck-and-cover position."How could you do this to us???" Hemsworth yelled."Use the diaphragm for projection, baby; you can do it;” Karen encouraged."I Want; To See; The Manager!" Captain Hemsworth yelled at the top of his lungs, causing a feedback loop to screech throughout the room. The last thing Karen saw before falling unconscious was the sight of every Priamite in the room projectile vomiting on each other. The stench was overwhelming.Karen's Humility.Karen lifted her face off the bathroom floor, overwhelmed by the stench. She brushed off a spare piece of toilet paper stuck to her face, as she tried to remember what had happened. Her lungs burned from what she slowly recognized as pepper spray. She gathered her purse and stumbled out of the stall and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red, and a bruise was swelling where her cheek hit the floor. She splashed some cold water on her face and wiped off the makeup that streaked in the process. This was Snookers; not Baker's Pie. She had just ripped a kid a new asshole for not having cobb salad on the menu. What was she doing with her life?Upon exiting the bathroom, she ran into Travis the Waiter, who looked like he had just splashed water on his face, too. Dread and unease filled his face upon seeing her before it was quickly masked into concern. "Oh, um; are you okay? Can I get you some ice for that?" he asked, looking at the bruise on her cheek."What? Oh, no, honey. I'm okay. I just fell," she said, before meeting his eyes and taking his hand in hers. "Travis, I'm so sorry about the way I treated you. That was awful, and I have no excuse. You didn't deserve that.""It's okay; it happens," Travis said, carefully."It shouldn't, though. I was wrong, and I'm sorry. Would you mind if I just gave you some cash to cover the meal and snuck out of here? God knows what that group of biddies will gossip about when I go out there like this," Karen said, gesturing to herself."Yeah, that should be no problem," Travis said, taking the money she offered. "Are you sure you're okay?"Karen nodded, "I'm fine. I've just got some things to do. You've got a sweet heart, honey. Keep listening to it."Karen swallowed nervously as she went up the walkway to the small suburban house. She hadn't called before coming. It was rude of her not to call ahead of time, but then again, she was pretty sure that her number had been blocked. She didn't know if her oldest son had gone "no contact" or just "low contact" with her, but she was pretty sure her daughter-in-law would threaten to call the police within five minutes of her ringing the doorbell. Nevertheless, when she got up to the door, Karen put her finger forward and rang the bell."What do you want, Karen?" Hailey's terse voice came through the doorbell."Oh; you got one of those camera doorbell things; that's nice;” she began, unsure of how to say what was in her heart without a face in front of her."What do you want?" Hailey repeated."Um; I wanted to talk with you;""The last time you wanted to 'talk' with me, you just wanted to see my kids while you criticized my inadequate housekeeping, my inept child-rearing, and my unattractive post-pregnancy body. So, forgive me if I'd prefer not to have a heart-to-heart, Karen," Hailey interrupted."You're right," Karen said, looking at the dark circle holding the doorbell's camera. "I did that. I did that. I have not been kind to you. When Cal Jr. brought you home, I was not welcoming. I should have been; because you deserved that. You deserved it because you made my son happy. You have made him happier than I've ever known him to be; and that's what I've always wanted for him. If you were just like me, if you did all the things that I obnoxiously told you to do; he wouldn't be half as happy as he is with you; just as you are. If for no other reason than my son's happiness, you have my gratitude. I'm sorry that I've wasted the chances you've given me to know you better. You're brave and confident and funny. Honestly, I think you're the person I wished I could have been at your age. I'm sorry for a lot of things but being wasteful; saying thoughtless things that hardened people's hearts; those are the things that I wish I could take back the most. So, um;” Karen said, checking her notes on her phone's notepad to make sure she got all the points she wanted, "that's pretty much it. Oh, and I put that chocolate mousse recipe you liked on this index card so you can make it, but feel free to call me if you can't read my writing; or if you, you know, ever need anything."Karen nodded at the doorbell and started back down the walkway toward her car, blinking back tears. She had wasted so much time, so many chances. She didn't know if there was a point in trying again now, but she had to. She wasn't getting any younger.As she reached the end of the walkway, she was nearly knocked over by two little bodies running into her and grabbing onto her legs. Tears fell freely down her cheeks as she bent down to pick up her grandchildren, kissing them until they tried to wiggle away. As they started simultaneously telling her everything they had been doing while she was away, Karen's eyes drifted up to the doorway where her pierced and tattooed daughter-in-law stood. "Thank you" Karen mouthed silently over her grandchildren's backs.Karen pushed open the doors of Forest Glenn Hospice Care, her bag stuffed with an array of items and went up to the front desk. "Karen Weaver. I'm here for Dana Stevens," she said.The new girl at the reception desk looked at Karen with quiet unease. "Um; Ms. Stevens has requested only visitors who have;" Karen smirked and lifted the wig off her head, revealing her clean-shaven head. "Oh! Great! Go right in," she said, relieved.The corridor of the hospice facility was peaceful and quiet; exactly the kind of thing the old Dana would hate. Entering her room, Karen looked for any signs that other visitors had been to see Dana but saw nothing. Dana was napping again, her face drawn and gaunt, but thankfully not in pain. Karen put down her bag in a nearby chair and took out a rolled-up electronic piano keyboard and unfurled it on a table next to the hospital bed. As she was on her hands and knees trying to find an outlet to use, she heard Dana clear her throat. "What the hell is that?" she asked, smirking as she nodded at the keyboard."Your afternoon's entertainment. I ordered it on Amazon; you should have seen the bitchy reviews. Reminded me of you. Mind you, I haven't played since Cal got rid of the piano when it didn't fit in the Brooklyn apartment, so you're in for a treat," Karen said, rubbing her hands together and moving her glasses on top of her head so she could see the keyboard controls."Calvin Carmichael in a Brooklyn apartment. My god. What was it that emptied the Carmichael family coffers after they stole you away from me, again?" Dana asked, her sunken eyes taking in every detail of Karen's face as she hovered over the keyboard."Bernie Madoff; cleaned 'em dry. His parents were ever so shocked when they had to sell their properties and move to Florida," Karen said. "They weren't poor; they had enough to retire, but; they were horridly middle class.""Karma's a bitch," Dana said, pushing back against her pillows to sit up more. "Kare; I'm so sorry I didn't talk with you when you came back to the apartment. I could have helped you; we both would have helped you."Karen's smile faded, remembering and wondering what might have been. Dana would have helped her, but she was certain Dana's help would be help to get an abortion; and then she would never have had the joy of knowing her grandchildren. Dean would have; well, it was impossible to know what he would have done, but he would have helped. "Well, consider this your punishment," Karen said, stretching her fingers. "Are you ready?""I'm on opiates, baby. Bring it on;” Dana said, a smile moving across her face.Karen's fingers moved across the keys, and at first, she was put off by the strangeness of the keys and the sensation of tapping on something flat instead of the feel of a piano. Then, memory took over and her hands remembered the dance. Years fell away as she was filled again with the joy of making music. She started with "Clair de lune," a gentle Debussy chosen to respect the frailty of her friend's condition.Upon playing the final chords, she looked up for her friend's reaction to see that Dana had covered her face with a pillow in an attempt to smother herself. "God, you're rusty. You used to be better than me. What have you been doing with those hands?" she complained."Raising kids; kneading dough; finding random women's' panties when I changed sheets on the bed," Karen said, ruefully."Should've jumped Dean while you had the chance;” Dana murmured.Karen bit her lips and closed her eyes. "Um; how; how is he?"Dana stared into Karen's eyes for a painfully long moment, then looked out the window, away from Karen. "Life; life wasn't kind to him. After I graduated, he moved back home to take care of Nana. He only came to the city to look after me, anyway. Living alone hardened him. I haven't seen him in years; not that I'd want to see what he's become. Sometimes you just need to let people go, Kare," she said, sighing sadly. "Anyway; I need a laugh. Show me how pathetic your Jerry Lee Lewis catalog is.""Yes, ma'am," Karen said, blinking back tears and starting into "Great Balls of Fire."The wind coming through the drivers' side window ruffled the inch-long cap of vivid red hair that had grown on Karen's head as she drove down the winding West Virginia roads that she hadn't seen in 30 years. The beauty of this place still softened and relaxed her as much as it had, oh so long ago. Despite Dana's warnings, Karen's heart demanded that she make this trip; and after all she had lost, she was determined to listen to her heart from now on, until she could no longer hear it.She frowned at her passenger and began coughing as a noxious odor swirled around, filling her SUV. She rolled her window down further in self-preservation. This was probably a bad idea; but after all these years of thinking things through and being sensible, she felt entitled to indulge in a few harebrained schemes."Country road; take me home; to the place; I belong; West Virginia; mountain mama; take me home; country road;” she sang, smiling as the wooded foothills rose up in the distance. The path became rough when she turned by the Stevens mailbox and began bouncing up through the woods toward the cozy home. Her passenger surveyed the woods around the vehicle with increasing excitement.Karen started doubting herself, though. It was ridiculous, the more she thought about it. All her emails had gone unanswered. The phone number she was given was out of service. Three decades had passed since she came here; why would he want to see a 50-something woman with an unflattering haircut and stretch marks just because he had fallen in love with the 20-something version of her? Would Dean even remember her at all? She ran through her plan again in her mind again. It sounded really stupid, now. At least it would let her make a quick exit if things didn't work out, though.She broke out in a cold sweat when the house came into view. It was just as she had remembered it, maintained well, but not changed. It was like a holy place, kept perfectly through the ages in reverence for what it represented.She pulled up to the house and parked. No one emerged, so she would have to go in. She would have to go knock on that door and see the unrecognition or even disappointment in his eyes. She needed to go tell him about his sister. Opening the door, she slid out and hopped to the ground and stretched her legs. Suddenly, a braying roar filled the air and a wall of fur launched itself from behind the house and came for her. "SIT!" Karen yelled. Her command, though impressive, appeared only to be a gentle suggestion to the monster that continued to charge her. "STAY!" Karen shouted. This recommendation also appeared to go unheeded."BUSTER, NO!" a voice from the porch yelled, and Karen couldn't help but stare at her first glimpse of Dean in decades. He looked wild. Wild hair, wild beard, a body that had to be formed by the wilderness, itself. Not a drop of civilization tainted the essence of this man; and it made her want to laugh and cry at the same time. Karen began walking toward him, completely forgetting about the fearsome beast avalanche coming to bury her. Dean jumped down from the porch and began running toward the flurry of fur and teeth that had bent its path upon Karen's destruction.A split second before Buster reached Karen, the passenger of her vehicle silently flew out, tackled him with a full-body slam and the two went rolling back from where Karen now stood next to Dean. The two tumbled, tearing up the grass and knocking over the woodpile in the commotion. Buster yelped loudly and jumped free of the massive shaggy-furred beast that was still intent upon teaching him some manners. "Judith, come!" Karen called, and with a final snarl at Buster, Judith returned to where Karen stood and sat by her side, still glaring to where Buster stood looking dumbfounded."Well, I'll be damned;” Dean murmured, looking at the still-cowed Buster in wonder."Girl dog privilege," Karen replied simply. "What is that thing, anyway?" she asked, nodding to where Buster now stood whining and trying to approach the growling Judith."Bernese Mountain Dog; Great Pyrenees; and probably a bit of German Shepherd;” Dean murmured, turning toward her. His eyes traveled over her slowly and boldly."Judith's Akita and Malamute; she was turned into the shelter because she always thinks she's right," Karen said. "That, and she farts something awful."

 Karen Saves The Universe: Part 3Karen Embarks on a cure campaign.Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Karen sighed, "Might as well. Let's go kill the libido of an entire civilization, Holland."Holland took her arm and soon the cell where she was held disappeared and another space formed around them. Captain Hemsworth and several crew members from the ship stood nearby, as well as Ensign Holland who was still holding her arm, reassuringly. Looking around, Karen saw that they were in what appeared to be a sound-booth of sorts. One crewmember activated some equipment and moved one protruding tentacle closer to Karen's mouth and another toward Captain Hemsworth's."Are we ready, Ellis?" Captain Hemsworth asked, clearing his throat. Ellis nodded and stepped back from the tentacles. Hemsworth tapped the end of the tentacle and a booming noise reverberated around the room. He cleared his throat several more times and straightened his collar. "People of Priam! Your deliverance has come! You sent us forth among the stars to find the cure to the horrid addiction of filth that has infiltrated our minds and we have not failed you! We have dedicated our lives to this effort, foregone having families, and any comforts of home to bring you this salvation! Behold; The Karen!" he proclaimed, gesturing for Karen to speak."Um; hi?" Karen said, unsurely. Hemsworth glanced at Ellis who was reading some type of display. Ellis frowned and motioned for her to continue speaking. "Um; my name is Karen;""Hi Karen;” several crew members responded unanimously before Captain Hemsworth cut them off with a gesture."Um; I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to say. I heard you're all having some troubles. I'm sorry. I know what that's like. I've had some troubles, too. I married the wrong person; someone who didn't really love me. I wasn't brave and I tried to avoid trouble too much. I had four kids, but they grew up seeing me treated badly, so they don't really see me as being worth much; if they don't need me to be a mom anymore, what good am I to them? I love them, but; I wish I had done more with my life. Now, I'm getting a divorce; and now that I'm in my 50's, I'm not young and beautiful anymore, so it's like I'm invisible to most people. My body hurts more than it used to; and I'm afraid most days. I don't know what's going to happen to me. Everything keeps changing and I don't know where I belong. I feel like I've failed all the time. But, they said that maybe I could help you, so; I hope I can help make things better for you. I'd like to see something good come out of all this," Karen said, wiping some tears off her cheeks. Holland stepped next to her and took her hand. She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder."Ellis?" Hemsworth asked.Ellis looked up from the display, a disconcerted expression on his face. "I don't understand;” he murmured, leaning down and feverishly working on the equipment. "They're hearing it. I know they're hearing it;”"It's not working? She just spoke more than it took to knock out the entire bridge crew! What do you mean it's not working?" Hemsworth said, frustrated. Karen looked at Holland, who simply shrugged.Captain Hemsworth frowned with determination and motioned to Karen, "Speak again. Louder. Talk about the cobb salad! Men, brace yourselves!" he ordered."Cobb salad?" Karen repeated, surprised. "Oh, well, um; it's just yummy. It's got hard boiled eggs, tomatoes, bacon, and avocado on a bed of lettuce; chives and bleu cheese over the top is good, too. The nice thing is that all the ingredients are put into neat little rows across the lettuce, so you can choose exactly what you want in each bite! It's not just a big mess like other salads. You know, I could make you one ; do you guys have avocadoes?" she said enthusiastically, looking to Holland.Holland immediately began looking up something on his hand-held computer. "Av-o-ca-does; do they yield their young willingly, or do we need to;""What the hell is going on???" Captain Hemsworth yelled, grabbing Holland's ear and looking inside. "Holland! You're not wearing protection! Why aren't you unconscious on the floor?""Oh, um; they were kind of uncomfortable, and they made it hard to hear what she was remembering, and;""You Remembered With The Karen? What Is Wrong With You?" Hemsworth shouted, before calming himself. "Momoa, get some caffeline ready. I need to hear her again," he said, bracing himself as he pulled what looked like slugs out of his ears. "Speak again about the salad;”"Okay, uh; most like to eat it with a vinaigrette? I think that gets to be a bit too much if there's bleu cheese on top, though. Sometimes I'll get it with ranch or something creamy because then;""What the hell, Holland! What did you do to The Karen? I barely feel anything!" Hemsworth yelled, grabbing Holland by the uniform."Um; I don't know; we just talked and remembered; you know, she's really nice, if you get to;""Dammit, You've Broken The Karen, Holland! How Are We Supposed To;" Captain Hemsworth yelled until he was interrupted by a knock nearby.Lieutenant Ellis activated a control on his display and a hole formed in the wall of the room. An assembly of Priamites entered the room, as smoothly as if they were rolled in on a platform together. The crew of the Onan immediately fell prostrate on the floor before them. Karen, unwilling to lie face-down on a floor she hadn't cleaned herself, looked around uncomfortably and gave the assembly a small wave. One Priamite raised her hand to return the gesture but was quickly stopped by her neighbor."Welcome, crew of the Onan," one of the assembly said, followed by the rest of the assembly nodding agreeably. "We are most appreciative of all your; efforts. We realize that you have dedicated several of your lifetimes to freeing our civilization from the throes of pornographic addiction, and for your many sacrifices, we thank you," the speaker said, then glanced around uncomfortably at the others. "Most unexpectedly, ah; while the Eros Curse was most distressing to the initial generations, the subsequent generations acclimated to it rather quickly. Then, as fashions changed, the Eros Curse became more of a joke, really; dance mixes were made, memes;”"Excuse me?" Captain Hemsworth said, lifting his face from the floor."I mean, sure, the Eros Curse is still out there. It's just that it's just become something people live with. It doesn't take over our lives, but some indulge in it a little after the kids have gone to bed for the night. I mean, it's not really such a big deal. It adds a little spice to an otherwise boring life, you know?""Boring life?" Hemsworth repeated, rising to his feet. "Are you telling me that all of Priam just walks around, living life, thinking about; that?""Well, yes, but we are very grateful for all you and your crew have done for us. We express our thanks to all the crews of the ships we loaded up with uptight intellectuals that were determined to rid our civilization of; alternative thoughts. We have come here to present you and your crew with a commemorative plaque for all your;""Is this some kind of joke?" Hemsworth said, pacing around. "I've been trekking throughout the universe looking for a cure to your abhorrent lust-filled thoughts and now you just want to give me a plaque for a lifetime of sacrifice because you don't see a problem with your disgusting sticky existence?""Well, there's no need to kink-shame;” the assembly spokesperson muttered, "Honestly, you never wondered why they sent the most uptight assholes on the planet off on a vague 'mission' and never really asked for progress reports?""I don't believe this;” Hemsworth said, his eyes bulging, nostrils flaring. "We've sacrificed our lives for nothing???""Oh, I see where this is going;” Karen said to Holland, who seemed to be trying to assume a duck-and-cover position."How could you do this to us???" Hemsworth yelled."Use the diaphragm for projection, baby; you can do it;” Karen encouraged."I Want; To See; The Manager!" Captain Hemsworth yelled at the top of his lungs, causing a feedback loop to screech throughout the room. The last thing Karen saw before falling unconscious was the sight of every Priamite in the room projectile vomiting on each other. The stench was overwhelming.Karen's Humility.Karen lifted her face off the bathroom floor, overwhelmed by the stench. She brushed off a spare piece of toilet paper stuck to her face, as she tried to remember what had happened. Her lungs burned from what she slowly recognized as pepper spray. She gathered her purse and stumbled out of the stall and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red, and a bruise was swelling where her cheek hit the floor. She splashed some cold water on her face and wiped off the makeup that streaked in the process. This was Snookers; not Baker's Pie. She had just ripped a kid a new asshole for not having cobb salad on the menu. What was she doing with her life?Upon exiting the bathroom, she ran into Travis the Waiter, who looked like he had just splashed water on his face, too. Dread and unease filled his face upon seeing her before it was quickly masked into concern. "Oh, um; are you okay? Can I get you some ice for that?" he asked, looking at the bruise on her cheek."What? Oh, no, honey. I'm okay. I just fell," she said, before meeting his eyes and taking his hand in hers. "Travis, I'm so sorry about the way I treated you. That was awful, and I have no excuse. You didn't deserve that.""It's okay; it happens," Travis said, carefully."It shouldn't, though. I was wrong, and I'm sorry. Would you mind if I just gave you some cash to cover the meal and snuck out of here? God knows what that group of biddies will gossip about when I go out there like this," Karen said, gesturing to herself."Yeah, that should be no problem," Travis said, taking the money she offered. "Are you sure you're okay?"Karen nodded, "I'm fine. I've just got some things to do. You've got a sweet heart, honey. Keep listening to it."Karen swallowed nervously as she went up the walkway to the small suburban house. She hadn't called before coming. It was rude of her not to call ahead of time, but then again, she was pretty sure that her number had been blocked. She didn't know if her oldest son had gone "no contact" or just "low contact" with her, but she was pretty sure her daughter-in-law would threaten to call the police within five minutes of her ringing the doorbell. Nevertheless, when she got up to the door, Karen put her finger forward and rang the bell."What do you want, Karen?" Hailey's terse voice came through the doorbell."Oh; you got one of those camera doorbell things; that's nice;” she began, unsure of how to say what was in her heart without a face in front of her."What do you want?" Hailey repeated."Um; I wanted to talk with you;""The last time you wanted to 'talk' with me, you just wanted to see my kids while you criticized my inadequate housekeeping, my inept child-rearing, and my unattractive post-pregnancy body. So, forgive me if I'd prefer not to have a heart-to-heart, Karen," Hailey interrupted."You're right," Karen said, looking at the dark circle holding the doorbell's camera. "I did that. I did that. I have not been kind to you. When Cal Jr. brought you home, I was not welcoming. I should have been; because you deserved that. You deserved it because you made my son happy. You have made him happier than I've ever known him to be; and that's what I've always wanted for him. If you were just like me, if you did all the things that I obnoxiously told you to do; he wouldn't be half as happy as he is with you; just as you are. If for no other reason than my son's happiness, you have my gratitude. I'm sorry that I've wasted the chances you've given me to know you better. You're brave and confident and funny. Honestly, I think you're the person I wished I could have been at your age. I'm sorry for a lot of things but being wasteful; saying thoughtless things that hardened people's hearts; those are the things that I wish I could take back the most. So, um;” Karen said, checking her notes on her phone's notepad to make sure she got all the points she wanted, "that's pretty much it. Oh, and I put that chocolate mousse recipe you liked on this index card so you can make it, but feel free to call me if you can't read my writing; or if you, you know, ever need anything."Karen nodded at the doorbell and started back down the walkway toward her car, blinking back tears. She had wasted so much time, so many chances. She didn't know if there was a point in trying again now, but she had to. She wasn't getting any younger.As she reached the end of the walkway, she was nearly knocked over by two little bodies running into her and grabbing onto her legs. Tears fell freely down her cheeks as she bent down to pick up her grandchildren, kissing them until they tried to wiggle away. As they started simultaneously telling her everything they had been doing while she was away, Karen's eyes drifted up to the doorway where her pierced and tattooed daughter-in-law stood. "Thank you" Karen mouthed silently over her grandchildren's backs.Karen pushed open the doors of Forest Glenn Hospice Care, her bag stuffed with an array of items and went up to the front desk. "Karen Weaver. I'm here for Dana Stevens," she said.The new girl at the reception desk looked at Karen with quiet unease. "Um; Ms. Stevens has requested only visitors who have;" Karen smirked and lifted the wig off her head, revealing her clean-shaven head. "Oh! Great! Go right in," she said, relieved.The corridor of the hospice facility was peaceful and quiet; exactly the kind of thing the old Dana would hate. Entering her room, Karen looked for any signs that other visitors had been to see Dana but saw nothing. Dana was napping again, her face drawn and gaunt, but thankfully not in pain. Karen put down her bag in a nearby chair and took out a rolled-up electronic piano keyboard and unfurled it on a table next to the hospital bed. As she was on her hands and knees trying to find an outlet to use, she heard Dana clear her throat. "What the hell is that?" she asked, smirking as she nodded at the keyboard."Your afternoon's entertainment. I ordered it on Amazon; you should have seen the bitchy reviews. Reminded me of you. Mind you, I haven't played since Cal got rid of the piano when it didn't fit in the Brooklyn apartment, so you're in for a treat," Karen said, rubbing her hands together and moving her glasses on top of her head so she could see the keyboard controls."Calvin Carmichael in a Brooklyn apartment. My god. What was it that emptied the Carmichael family coffers after they stole you away from me, again?" Dana asked, her sunken eyes taking in every detail of Karen's face as she hovered over the keyboard."Bernie Madoff; cleaned 'em dry. His parents were ever so shocked when they had to sell their properties and move to Florida," Karen said. "They weren't poor; they had enough to retire, but; they were horridly middle class.""Karma's a bitch," Dana said, pushing back against her pillows to sit up more. "Kare; I'm so sorry I didn't talk with you when you came back to the apartment. I could have helped you; we both would have helped you."Karen's smile faded, remembering and wondering what might have been. Dana would have helped her, but she was certain Dana's help would be help to get an abortion; and then she would never have had the joy of knowing her grandchildren. Dean would have; well, it was impossible to know what he would have done, but he would have helped. "Well, consider this your punishment," Karen said, stretching her fingers. "Are you ready?""I'm on opiates, baby. Bring it on;” Dana said, a smile moving across her face.Karen's fingers moved across the keys, and at first, she was put off by the strangeness of the keys and the sensation of tapping on something flat instead of the feel of a piano. Then, memory took over and her hands remembered the dance. Years fell away as she was filled again with the joy of making music. She started with "Clair de lune," a gentle Debussy chosen to respect the frailty of her friend's condition.Upon playing the final chords, she looked up for her friend's reaction to see that Dana had covered her face with a pillow in an attempt to smother herself. "God, you're rusty. You used to be better than me. What have you been doing with those hands?" she complained."Raising kids; kneading dough; finding random women's' panties when I changed sheets on the bed," Karen said, ruefully."Should've jumped Dean while you had the chance;” Dana murmured.Karen bit her lips and closed her eyes. "Um; how; how is he?"Dana stared into Karen's eyes for a painfully long moment, then looked out the window, away from Karen. "Life; life wasn't kind to him. After I graduated, he moved back home to take care of Nana. He only came to the city to look after me, anyway. Living alone hardened him. I haven't seen him in years; not that I'd want to see what he's become. Sometimes you just need to let people go, Kare," she said, sighing sadly. "Anyway; I need a laugh. Show me how pathetic your Jerry Lee Lewis catalog is.""Yes, ma'am," Karen said, blinking back tears and starting into "Great Balls of Fire."The wind coming through the drivers' side window ruffled the inch-long cap of vivid red hair that had grown on Karen's head as she drove down the winding West Virginia roads that she hadn't seen in 30 years. The beauty of this place still softened and relaxed her as much as it had, oh so long ago. Despite Dana's warnings, Karen's heart demanded that she make this trip; and after all she had lost, she was determined to listen to her heart from now on, until she could no longer hear it.She frowned at her passenger and began coughing as a noxious odor swirled around, filling her SUV. She rolled her window down further in self-preservation. This was probably a bad idea; but after all these years of thinking things through and being sensible, she felt entitled to indulge in a few harebrained schemes."Country road; take me home; to the place; I belong; West Virginia; mountain mama; take me home; country road;” she sang, smiling as the wooded foothills rose up in the distance. The path became rough when she turned by the Stevens mailbox and began bouncing up through the woods toward the cozy home. Her passenger surveyed the woods around the vehicle with increasing excitement.Karen started doubting herself, though. It was ridiculous, the more she thought about it. All her emails had gone unanswered. The phone number she was given was out of service. Three decades had passed since she came here; why would he want to see a 50-something woman with an unflattering haircut and stretch marks just because he had fallen in love with the 20-something version of her? Would Dean even remember her at all? She ran through her plan again in her mind again. It sounded really stupid, now. At least it would let her make a quick exit if things didn't work out, though.She broke out in a cold sweat when the house came into view. It was just as she had remembered it, maintained well, but not changed. It was like a holy place, kept perfectly through the ages in reverence for what it represented.She pulled up to the house and parked. No one emerged, so she would have to go in. She would have to go knock on that door and see the unrecognition or even disappointment in his eyes. She needed to go tell him about his sister. Opening the door, she slid out and hopped to the ground and stretched her legs. Suddenly, a braying roar filled the air and a wall of fur launched itself from behind the house and came for her. "SIT!" Karen yelled. Her command, though impressive, appeared only to be a gentle suggestion to the monster that continued to charge her. "STAY!" Karen shouted. This recommendation also appeared to go unheeded."BUSTER, NO!" a voice from the porch yelled, and Karen couldn't help but stare at her first glimpse of Dean in decades. He looked wild. Wild hair, wild beard, a body that had to be formed by the wilderness, itself. Not a drop of civilization tainted the essence of this man; and it made her want to laugh and cry at the same time. Karen began walking toward him, completely forgetting about the fearsome beast avalanche coming to bury her. Dean jumped down from the porch and began running toward the flurry of fur and teeth that had bent its path upon Karen's destruction.A split second before Buster reached Karen, the passenger of her vehicle silently flew out, tackled him with a full-body slam and the two went rolling back from where Karen now stood next to Dean. The two tumbled, tearing up the grass and knocking over the woodpile in the commotion. Buster yelped loudly and jumped free of the massive shaggy-furred beast that was still intent upon teaching him some manners. "Judith, come!" Karen called, and with a final snarl at Buster, Judith returned to where Karen stood and sat by her side, still glaring to where Buster stood looking dumbfounded."Well, I'll be damned;” Dean murmured, looking at the still-cowed Buster in wonder."Girl dog privilege," Karen replied simply. "What is that thing, anyway?" she asked, nodding to where Buster now stood whining and trying to approach the growling Judith."Bernese Mountain Dog; Great Pyrenees; and probably a bit of German Shepherd;” Dean murmured, turning toward her. His eyes traveled over her slowly and boldly."Judith's Akita and Malamute; she was turned into the shelter because she always thinks she's right," Karen said. "That, and she farts something awful."

 Karen Saves The Universe: Part 2Can a strange marriage survive?Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.I want you, Red. I need to make you mine; mine forever. I've never felt like this before; I know I never will again. Marry me." Cal pleaded."I;” Karen murmured, glancing around their group to make sure she wouldn't be overheard, "I don't know what to say. You're wonderful; and you've done so much for me, but this has all been so fast. We're still just getting to know each other; and half the time it doesn't even make sense to me why you would want me; but I; I just; can I just finish school?" she asked."How you can even think about school when someone like me is ready to give you everything you ever wanted, to take care of you completely, it's just crazy;” Cal murmured, sliding his hand up between her legs and brushing along the edge of her panties.Karen blushed and squeezed her thighs together, looking around embarrassed. "I just; I just worked so hard to get in. Juilliard's been my whole life for so long," she said, looking up into his eyes pleading.Cal looked at her through hooded eyes, "Keep looking at me like that and we won't be waiting for anything." His eyes heated as he pulled her closer, dominating her with a hungry kiss while she squirmed self-consciously. The couples around the table smirked as Cal grew even more bold in his explorations.When he released her, Karen hid her face in his neck as the others cheered. They were his friends, happy to see him happy. Cal glanced at a waiter nearby and gestured for more drinks for the table. The opening act on the stage below finished its last set, but the crowd refused to let the show end. Cheers filled the club, with the crowd demanding an encore.Castor, the lead singer, waited for the crowd to quiet with a grin, then his eyes drifted upward and his face lit with excitement. "Thank you, thanks guys, you're a great audience. For an encore, we'd love to give you a taste of our next album. We've been banging it out in the studio and I can't tell you how excited we are for it to be released. Problem is, it's got this insane keys part that can't be played by just anyone, but I think I see our studio angel in the audience tonight. Kare, baby; will you come help us out?" he asked, reaching upward to where Karen sat.Cal's friends turned to look at Karen in surprise. "You play? Like, for real?" Cal's friend Tony yelled across the table to her in surprise. Karen nodded in embarrassment, glancing at Cal.Everything suddenly froze as Karen rose and walked over to the table, standing over her younger self looking at Cal's face. "Look, you little dummy; look at it! It's right there!" she yelled at Young Karen."What's there?" Holland asked, craning his neck to try to see what she was yelling about."Cal, for all his big words, rich gifts, and grand gestures; he hadn't told his friends anything about me; because nothing of who I really was mattered to him. Only the things he wanted about me mattered to him ; that I was shy, and submissive, and just grateful to have someone pay attention to me. And here ; look at his face! It fell!" she yelled, gesturing to where Cal sat, leaning back in his chair."His face appears still to be attached, to me;” Holland said, doubtfully."It's just a phrase. His face didn't actually fall, but his eyes; look, he's still smiling, but you see it in his eyes. He's not happy for me. He's not happy because the moment stopped being about Cal and how he was the great boyfriend spoiling his new stupid girlfriend on her birthday. Once the moment became about me; that I was asked up on stage; that I could do something his friends admired; ugh, why didn't I see it?" she moaned."What happened?" Holland asked.Karen rubbed her eyes with her hand. "I was young. I was asked to do something. I was asked for help. I was a stupid ninny that had absolutely no ability to say 'no' without thinking the world would end; so, I went up and played with the band.""Oh; was that bad?" Holland asked."No, it wasn't bad. It was a great song. I played well and I was just tipsy enough to not feel all the eyes that were looking at me, making my skin crawl. And you know; some part of me; I wanted to do it. I wanted to show myself that I could play for people; outside a quiet studio," Karen admitted. "Everyone always went on and on about how I needed to get over being so self-conscious and how it would hold my career back. That, and part of me wanted to show Cal's friends that I was more than just another girl in the long line of girls that he had gone through; that I was worth something.""Sometimes I wish our crew would see that I was worth something more;” Holland said, ruefully."Yeah; it's hard when you're young. You're dying to show the world what you're worth, how you're special, but they mostly just need you to work hard and do as you're told," Karen sighed, looking around the club. "Some people will never see what's special about you. They see what they want and they really don't care about the rest. It's those people that see who you really are; without wanting anything from you; those are the ones you need to hang onto."Karen turned her back on the club and the room re-formed into her Newark apartment. The intercom buzzed and Dana rolled out of bed to answer it. "What's up?" she asked."Hey; um, I don't have my keys. Can you buzz me in?" Karen's voice shakily asked through the intercom. Dana frowned in confusion and pressed the button to allow her entry. Soon, she opened the door after Karen's tentative knock."What happened, Kare? I thought you'd be gone all weekend," Dana said, taking in her roommate's appearance. Karen looked unharmed, but her face was puffy and her makeup was streaked from crying and trying to wipe it away."I; uh; I played at the club tonight. Castor Graham was the opening act and he asked me to come up for the encore, so I did.""You played in front of rowdy drunk people? That's fantastic! How did it feel?" Dana asked, offering her back for Karen to lean on while she took off her heels."I was scared; but after a while it was fun. The keyboard was facing the crowd and after a while I looked out over the people and; they looked happy. They liked it. It felt good, then.""God, I wish I'd been there. I'm so proud of you! What did Cal and the entourage say?""Um; I; don't know," Karen blinked and looked around the apartment. "When, uh; when I um; when I got back to the table, they were all gone." Karen wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and cleared her throat."Wait, what?" Dana said, her tone darkening like a storm cloud, threatening imminent destruction. "Say that again. You get called up on stage to perform, you play in front of all those people; like the freakin' keyboard genius you are; and when you got back, those motherfuckers were gone?""I; I think they were gone? The table was empty from what I could see; and the, uh, the security guy; he couldn't let me into the area. He really only knew Cal, and um;” Karen choked and turned her face away, trying to breathe through it and stop herself from crying."Karen; that's not; wait, how did you even get home?" Dana asked, unzipping Karen's dress and grabbing a pair of yoga pants for her."Well, my purse and phone were gone from the table, so I couldn't call anybody and I didn't have any money;” Karen choked. "The security guy was really nice and said I could use his MetroCard if I returned it, so;”"Oh, Christ On A Crotch-Rocket!" Dana yelled, throwing a sweatshirt at Karen, who caught it and pulled it over her head. "Kare. You gotta stop dating this guy. He's a piece of shit. Trust me. I didn't know it when I sent you over there to play, but he's walking excrement;""It's probably just a misunderstand;""And believe me, I'm sure he'll come back with some half-assed explanation, because that's what they all do;""And he tells me all the time that he;""Yeah. He ‘tells ‘; you pretty stuff. He ‘buys ‘; you pretty stuff. Problem is, words and money are nothing to him. Where the hell is he when you're walking home in fuck-me club clothes from the train station and trying not to lose your virginity, huh? Kare. I know you've been through hell, but you are worth more than this. You need a guy that walks you down the sidewalk and puts himself on the traffic side; just in case, because that's who he is. You deserve that. Don't you get it?" Dana asked, taking Karen's hair down and brushing it out, gently."Cal isn't; it's probably just; something;” Karen whispered, biting her lips closed.Dana stopped brushing and wrapped her arms around her roommate, squeezing her hard. "There is real love out there, Kare; and if you don't deserve it, I don't know who does. Someday, you're going to meet a guy that actually loves you and it's going to blow your mind when the games and bullshit are gone. It's like; when a guy is in love, gravity changes for them, or something;”Holland jumped up and pointed excitedly at Dana. "She's right! When I met the Zendayans, my tongue swelled up and;""Are you listening to my story at all, or are you just fantasizing about pretty girls?" Karen huffed."Um; both?" Holland replied, smirking. "I mean, you and Dana were really pretty; and there's just one bed here, and;"Karen shot him an exasperated look and he shrank back behind the bulkhead. "Anyway;” she said.The room dissolved and re-formed, both girls sleeping in the queen-sized bed they shared, morning sunlight streaming in through the dirty window, when the buzzer sounded. "Day, c'mon time to go," a man's voice sounded from the intercom. Karen's head peered out from under the blanket and she ran over to the intercom, tripping over some bottles of wine that they (mostly Dana) had consumed the previous night, trying to rid Karen of her birthday misery."Um; she's almost ready!" Karen replied, then ran to the bed and shook her hungover roommate awake. "Day, someone's here for you; they say it's time to go."Dana grunted and turned over, away from Karen. "Go do it for me; just say you're me again," Dana grumbled into her pillow.Karen swallowed nervously, but gamely grabbed Dana's dress, quickly got ready, and ran out the door. Upon leaving the building, she stumbled into the guy waiting outside. "Um; I'm ready! I'm ready! Dana Stevens. Thanks for waiting;” she panted.The man gave her a quick considering look, then walked her to a large extended-cab pickup truck that looked ridiculously out of place on the streets of Newark. "Miss Stevens," he said, opening the passenger side door and offering his hand to help her up into the vehicle."Thanks. Thank you;” she said, precariously climbing up the runner board in her heels until she settled herself up onto the seat."Just wait there, a bit," he said, after closing the door. Walking back to the building, he selected a key from his collection, opened the building door and walked in. Not long after, he emerged from the building carrying Dana over his shoulder and carrying a bag stuffed haphazardly with clothes. Opening the door behind Karen, he dumped Dana unceremoniously into the back seat and tossed the bag of clothes on top of her. Dana, still in her pajamas, put the bag under her head and turned away from the sunlight streaming into the cab."Dean, this is Karen. Karen, my brother Dean," Dana mumbled, as she draped a pair of sweatpants over her head to block the light."Oh; um, sorry," Karen said, flushing red as she glanced over at Dean's face. "I didn't mean to; um, I'll just go;""Lock the doors, and get us out of the city, Dean. She's coming with us," Dana ordered. "She's on asshole detox!"Karen jumped as the truck's doors locked and Dean wordlessly pulled out into the street and started out. She clasped her hands in her lap nervously. She hadn't packed anything. She had no phone. She didn't have time to let Dana drag her to West Virginia for a visit. Dana had been trying to talk her into coming with her to where she had grown up with her grandparents, but in the excitement of her birthday, Karen had forgotten the trip was this week. She knew better than to say anything, though. Dana wouldn't care, and Dean; who knew what Dean Stevens the brother would think. He didn't say much, but he obviously knew better than to argue with hungover Dana, which was something they had in common."She knows where we're goin?" Dean asked, checking his mirrors as he merged onto the freeway. Dana grunted in assent. "Why ain't she singin' it, yet?" he rumbled, seemingly amused."Because She's Not A Drunk College Kid, Idiot!" Dana howled, holding her head in pain.Dean smirked and started humming "Country Roads" to himself."I hate you so much;” Dana growled, pulling the bag of clothes over her head again. Dean only laughed.After a few miles of road, Karen looked at her roommate in the back seat, and unbuckled her seatbelt. She began to turn to lean over the front seat when Dean reached over and pushed her back down and pointed at her seatbelt. "Um sorry; I just;” Karen trailed off, horrified that she had done something wrong. She couldn't finish her sentence and sat back down, blinking back tears as she put her seatbelt back on.Dean glanced over, looking her up and down for a moment. With a sigh, he put his turn signal on and pulled off the road into a gas station at the next exit. "Do what you need to do," he said, curtly.Karen jumped up, turned around and loosely buckled the seatbelt across the sleeping Dana's hips, then turned, sat down again, and buckled her seatbelt. "Thank you," she mumbled. Dean turned to the back seat where his sister continued sleeping and his face softened. He looked at Karen a second time, sitting with her hands in her lap again, clenched like she expected a tongue-lashing from him for delaying the trip. His eyes drifted down to her feet, where her cold toes were turning pink in the strappy, uncomfortable-looking heels she wore when she came running out of the apartment building on his sister's fool errand. Reaching back, he grabbed a pair of thick socks that had fallen out of the bag of clothes and tossed them to her. Smiling gratefully, Karen removed the strappy heels and pulled on the warm socks as he pulled out onto the road again.The road stretched on. The scenery gradually becoming more rural, the traffic less crowded. Karen found herself relaxing and breathing more slowly as the land passed by. She occasionally glanced at the gas gauge and compared them to the passing road signs to try to discern when they might be pulling over to refill the tank. The third time she did it, Dean shook his head. "Bedford, hon," he chuckled. "You know, you could just ask me. I might be a longshoreman, but I don't bite.""Not like Dana, then," Karen replied, biting her lips so she didn't smile."Hm. Sounds like a story," he said.Karen nodded. "The first time we met, I was waiting to audition for our agency and I was almost going to leave, I was so scared. Day asked to see what I was playing and I handed her the music. Instead of looking at it, she took my hand and bit me. Said it was 'for luck,'" Karen said, laughing to herself."It worked, too. Kare needed to get of her head. She plays better when you throw her off balance, first," Dana said, rising to a sitting position and running her fingers through her hair."Is that so?" Dean asked, looking over at Karen."Yeah. I think too much. My teacher always said I played things perfectly, but he could hear me thinking about it the whole time. Day's a true performer, though. She doesn't think at all - she plays with her feelings, and that's what an audience connects with," Karen said, smiling proudly at Dana."Thoughtlessly playing with feelings; sounds about right," Dean said, chuckling when Dana punched him in the shoulder. "Speaking of, we're coming up on Bedford. Let me know if you need anything."Dana growled at this but said nothing as Karen blinked in confusion. Soon, Dean pulled off the interstate into a gas station and up to a gas pump. Dean hopped out of the truck and began filling the tank. After noticing the bug-splattered windshield, Karen changed back into her strappy heels and walked over to where the island held the squeegee and mop. Dean watched, bemused, as she diligently scrubbed the dried carcasses of insects off the glass while dressed to the nines. Karen finished and climbed back into the truck, only to have Dana grab her shoulder and start whispering in her ear and pointing at the convenience store. Karen, appearing distressed, blushed and said something back to Dana, who gestured emphatically.Dean kept watching as Karen seemed to screw up her courage, took her purse, and walked quickly into the store. He shot his sister a flat look. Dana only grinned, stretched, and put her feet up on the front seat. Shaking his head, he followed into the store."And what would you be needing all those for, hon?" the guy at the till asked while ogling Karen, who looked like she wanted to disappear under the rug."Um; it's uh;” Karen stammered."I need to ask for state regulatory purposes," the guy continued, as he put a large box of condoms on the counter and rang it up."They're for me," Dean said, as he tossed some drinks, chips and cookies on the counter. "Uncut and hangs to the left. Anything else the state needs to know about my cock?" The till guy cleared his throat and began ringing up the additional items and bagging them without further comment. Annoyed, Dean grabbed the bagged items in one hand and took Karen's hand in the other and left the store. "You know, you don't have to do everything my little sister tells you," he said under his breath as they walked to the truck."Then why'd you buy them? Seems like you can't tell her 'no' any more than I can," Karen replied, a little surprised that she had the guts to argue with him.Dean laughed, "I don't want her knocked up any more than you do." He helped her up into the truck and tossed the bag of items to his sister.Dana went digging through the bag and retrieved the box. "Wait a minute, these are just regular. Didn't they have lubricated?" she complained. Karen swallowed uncomfortably, searching for an answer as Dean pulled her seatbelt out and buckled it around her."Don't need lubricated if the guy does his job right," Dean said, grinning at her cheerfully. "Raise your standards and you won't need so many, either.""Hum; lower yours, and maybe you'll actually need some," Dana retorted, opening the package of cookies. Karen just shrank in her seat and covered her flaming cheeks as they pulled back onto the freeway.The scenery turned into wooded hills with mountains growing in the distance. Steering down the curved roads, Dean sighed quietly, a peaceful smile on his face. Karen leaned forward in her seat, trying to see everything as it passed, excitement lighting her face. Dana had fallen asleep again.Near evening, Dean turned the truck down a long, dirt road and reached behind him to shake Dana awake. "Watch for him, Day;” he said. Dana sat up, suddenly alert and scanning the darkening woods around them."What are we looking for?" Karen asked.

 Karen Saves The Universe: Part 2Can a strange marriage survive?Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.I want you, Red. I need to make you mine; mine forever. I've never felt like this before; I know I never will again. Marry me." Cal pleaded."I;” Karen murmured, glancing around their group to make sure she wouldn't be overheard, "I don't know what to say. You're wonderful; and you've done so much for me, but this has all been so fast. We're still just getting to know each other; and half the time it doesn't even make sense to me why you would want me; but I; I just; can I just finish school?" she asked."How you can even think about school when someone like me is ready to give you everything you ever wanted, to take care of you completely, it's just crazy;” Cal murmured, sliding his hand up between her legs and brushing along the edge of her panties.Karen blushed and squeezed her thighs together, looking around embarrassed. "I just; I just worked so hard to get in. Juilliard's been my whole life for so long," she said, looking up into his eyes pleading.Cal looked at her through hooded eyes, "Keep looking at me like that and we won't be waiting for anything." His eyes heated as he pulled her closer, dominating her with a hungry kiss while she squirmed self-consciously. The couples around the table smirked as Cal grew even more bold in his explorations.When he released her, Karen hid her face in his neck as the others cheered. They were his friends, happy to see him happy. Cal glanced at a waiter nearby and gestured for more drinks for the table. The opening act on the stage below finished its last set, but the crowd refused to let the show end. Cheers filled the club, with the crowd demanding an encore.Castor, the lead singer, waited for the crowd to quiet with a grin, then his eyes drifted upward and his face lit with excitement. "Thank you, thanks guys, you're a great audience. For an encore, we'd love to give you a taste of our next album. We've been banging it out in the studio and I can't tell you how excited we are for it to be released. Problem is, it's got this insane keys part that can't be played by just anyone, but I think I see our studio angel in the audience tonight. Kare, baby; will you come help us out?" he asked, reaching upward to where Karen sat.Cal's friends turned to look at Karen in surprise. "You play? Like, for real?" Cal's friend Tony yelled across the table to her in surprise. Karen nodded in embarrassment, glancing at Cal.Everything suddenly froze as Karen rose and walked over to the table, standing over her younger self looking at Cal's face. "Look, you little dummy; look at it! It's right there!" she yelled at Young Karen."What's there?" Holland asked, craning his neck to try to see what she was yelling about."Cal, for all his big words, rich gifts, and grand gestures; he hadn't told his friends anything about me; because nothing of who I really was mattered to him. Only the things he wanted about me mattered to him ; that I was shy, and submissive, and just grateful to have someone pay attention to me. And here ; look at his face! It fell!" she yelled, gesturing to where Cal sat, leaning back in his chair."His face appears still to be attached, to me;” Holland said, doubtfully."It's just a phrase. His face didn't actually fall, but his eyes; look, he's still smiling, but you see it in his eyes. He's not happy for me. He's not happy because the moment stopped being about Cal and how he was the great boyfriend spoiling his new stupid girlfriend on her birthday. Once the moment became about me; that I was asked up on stage; that I could do something his friends admired; ugh, why didn't I see it?" she moaned."What happened?" Holland asked.Karen rubbed her eyes with her hand. "I was young. I was asked to do something. I was asked for help. I was a stupid ninny that had absolutely no ability to say 'no' without thinking the world would end; so, I went up and played with the band.""Oh; was that bad?" Holland asked."No, it wasn't bad. It was a great song. I played well and I was just tipsy enough to not feel all the eyes that were looking at me, making my skin crawl. And you know; some part of me; I wanted to do it. I wanted to show myself that I could play for people; outside a quiet studio," Karen admitted. "Everyone always went on and on about how I needed to get over being so self-conscious and how it would hold my career back. That, and part of me wanted to show Cal's friends that I was more than just another girl in the long line of girls that he had gone through; that I was worth something.""Sometimes I wish our crew would see that I was worth something more;” Holland said, ruefully."Yeah; it's hard when you're young. You're dying to show the world what you're worth, how you're special, but they mostly just need you to work hard and do as you're told," Karen sighed, looking around the club. "Some people will never see what's special about you. They see what they want and they really don't care about the rest. It's those people that see who you really are; without wanting anything from you; those are the ones you need to hang onto."Karen turned her back on the club and the room re-formed into her Newark apartment. The intercom buzzed and Dana rolled out of bed to answer it. "What's up?" she asked."Hey; um, I don't have my keys. Can you buzz me in?" Karen's voice shakily asked through the intercom. Dana frowned in confusion and pressed the button to allow her entry. Soon, she opened the door after Karen's tentative knock."What happened, Kare? I thought you'd be gone all weekend," Dana said, taking in her roommate's appearance. Karen looked unharmed, but her face was puffy and her makeup was streaked from crying and trying to wipe it away."I; uh; I played at the club tonight. Castor Graham was the opening act and he asked me to come up for the encore, so I did.""You played in front of rowdy drunk people? That's fantastic! How did it feel?" Dana asked, offering her back for Karen to lean on while she took off her heels."I was scared; but after a while it was fun. The keyboard was facing the crowd and after a while I looked out over the people and; they looked happy. They liked it. It felt good, then.""God, I wish I'd been there. I'm so proud of you! What did Cal and the entourage say?""Um; I; don't know," Karen blinked and looked around the apartment. "When, uh; when I um; when I got back to the table, they were all gone." Karen wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and cleared her throat."Wait, what?" Dana said, her tone darkening like a storm cloud, threatening imminent destruction. "Say that again. You get called up on stage to perform, you play in front of all those people; like the freakin' keyboard genius you are; and when you got back, those motherfuckers were gone?""I; I think they were gone? The table was empty from what I could see; and the, uh, the security guy; he couldn't let me into the area. He really only knew Cal, and um;” Karen choked and turned her face away, trying to breathe through it and stop herself from crying."Karen; that's not; wait, how did you even get home?" Dana asked, unzipping Karen's dress and grabbing a pair of yoga pants for her."Well, my purse and phone were gone from the table, so I couldn't call anybody and I didn't have any money;” Karen choked. "The security guy was really nice and said I could use his MetroCard if I returned it, so;”"Oh, Christ On A Crotch-Rocket!" Dana yelled, throwing a sweatshirt at Karen, who caught it and pulled it over her head. "Kare. You gotta stop dating this guy. He's a piece of shit. Trust me. I didn't know it when I sent you over there to play, but he's walking excrement;""It's probably just a misunderstand;""And believe me, I'm sure he'll come back with some half-assed explanation, because that's what they all do;""And he tells me all the time that he;""Yeah. He ‘tells ‘; you pretty stuff. He ‘buys ‘; you pretty stuff. Problem is, words and money are nothing to him. Where the hell is he when you're walking home in fuck-me club clothes from the train station and trying not to lose your virginity, huh? Kare. I know you've been through hell, but you are worth more than this. You need a guy that walks you down the sidewalk and puts himself on the traffic side; just in case, because that's who he is. You deserve that. Don't you get it?" Dana asked, taking Karen's hair down and brushing it out, gently."Cal isn't; it's probably just; something;” Karen whispered, biting her lips closed.Dana stopped brushing and wrapped her arms around her roommate, squeezing her hard. "There is real love out there, Kare; and if you don't deserve it, I don't know who does. Someday, you're going to meet a guy that actually loves you and it's going to blow your mind when the games and bullshit are gone. It's like; when a guy is in love, gravity changes for them, or something;”Holland jumped up and pointed excitedly at Dana. "She's right! When I met the Zendayans, my tongue swelled up and;""Are you listening to my story at all, or are you just fantasizing about pretty girls?" Karen huffed."Um; both?" Holland replied, smirking. "I mean, you and Dana were really pretty; and there's just one bed here, and;"Karen shot him an exasperated look and he shrank back behind the bulkhead. "Anyway;” she said.The room dissolved and re-formed, both girls sleeping in the queen-sized bed they shared, morning sunlight streaming in through the dirty window, when the buzzer sounded. "Day, c'mon time to go," a man's voice sounded from the intercom. Karen's head peered out from under the blanket and she ran over to the intercom, tripping over some bottles of wine that they (mostly Dana) had consumed the previous night, trying to rid Karen of her birthday misery."Um; she's almost ready!" Karen replied, then ran to the bed and shook her hungover roommate awake. "Day, someone's here for you; they say it's time to go."Dana grunted and turned over, away from Karen. "Go do it for me; just say you're me again," Dana grumbled into her pillow.Karen swallowed nervously, but gamely grabbed Dana's dress, quickly got ready, and ran out the door. Upon leaving the building, she stumbled into the guy waiting outside. "Um; I'm ready! I'm ready! Dana Stevens. Thanks for waiting;” she panted.The man gave her a quick considering look, then walked her to a large extended-cab pickup truck that looked ridiculously out of place on the streets of Newark. "Miss Stevens," he said, opening the passenger side door and offering his hand to help her up into the vehicle."Thanks. Thank you;” she said, precariously climbing up the runner board in her heels until she settled herself up onto the seat."Just wait there, a bit," he said, after closing the door. Walking back to the building, he selected a key from his collection, opened the building door and walked in. Not long after, he emerged from the building carrying Dana over his shoulder and carrying a bag stuffed haphazardly with clothes. Opening the door behind Karen, he dumped Dana unceremoniously into the back seat and tossed the bag of clothes on top of her. Dana, still in her pajamas, put the bag under her head and turned away from the sunlight streaming into the cab."Dean, this is Karen. Karen, my brother Dean," Dana mumbled, as she draped a pair of sweatpants over her head to block the light."Oh; um, sorry," Karen said, flushing red as she glanced over at Dean's face. "I didn't mean to; um, I'll just go;""Lock the doors, and get us out of the city, Dean. She's coming with us," Dana ordered. "She's on asshole detox!"Karen jumped as the truck's doors locked and Dean wordlessly pulled out into the street and started out. She clasped her hands in her lap nervously. She hadn't packed anything. She had no phone. She didn't have time to let Dana drag her to West Virginia for a visit. Dana had been trying to talk her into coming with her to where she had grown up with her grandparents, but in the excitement of her birthday, Karen had forgotten the trip was this week. She knew better than to say anything, though. Dana wouldn't care, and Dean; who knew what Dean Stevens the brother would think. He didn't say much, but he obviously knew better than to argue with hungover Dana, which was something they had in common."She knows where we're goin?" Dean asked, checking his mirrors as he merged onto the freeway. Dana grunted in assent. "Why ain't she singin' it, yet?" he rumbled, seemingly amused."Because She's Not A Drunk College Kid, Idiot!" Dana howled, holding her head in pain.Dean smirked and started humming "Country Roads" to himself."I hate you so much;” Dana growled, pulling the bag of clothes over her head again. Dean only laughed.After a few miles of road, Karen looked at her roommate in the back seat, and unbuckled her seatbelt. She began to turn to lean over the front seat when Dean reached over and pushed her back down and pointed at her seatbelt. "Um sorry; I just;” Karen trailed off, horrified that she had done something wrong. She couldn't finish her sentence and sat back down, blinking back tears as she put her seatbelt back on.Dean glanced over, looking her up and down for a moment. With a sigh, he put his turn signal on and pulled off the road into a gas station at the next exit. "Do what you need to do," he said, curtly.Karen jumped up, turned around and loosely buckled the seatbelt across the sleeping Dana's hips, then turned, sat down again, and buckled her seatbelt. "Thank you," she mumbled. Dean turned to the back seat where his sister continued sleeping and his face softened. He looked at Karen a second time, sitting with her hands in her lap again, clenched like she expected a tongue-lashing from him for delaying the trip. His eyes drifted down to her feet, where her cold toes were turning pink in the strappy, uncomfortable-looking heels she wore when she came running out of the apartment building on his sister's fool errand. Reaching back, he grabbed a pair of thick socks that had fallen out of the bag of clothes and tossed them to her. Smiling gratefully, Karen removed the strappy heels and pulled on the warm socks as he pulled out onto the road again.The road stretched on. The scenery gradually becoming more rural, the traffic less crowded. Karen found herself relaxing and breathing more slowly as the land passed by. She occasionally glanced at the gas gauge and compared them to the passing road signs to try to discern when they might be pulling over to refill the tank. The third time she did it, Dean shook his head. "Bedford, hon," he chuckled. "You know, you could just ask me. I might be a longshoreman, but I don't bite.""Not like Dana, then," Karen replied, biting her lips so she didn't smile."Hm. Sounds like a story," he said.Karen nodded. "The first time we met, I was waiting to audition for our agency and I was almost going to leave, I was so scared. Day asked to see what I was playing and I handed her the music. Instead of looking at it, she took my hand and bit me. Said it was 'for luck,'" Karen said, laughing to herself."It worked, too. Kare needed to get of her head. She plays better when you throw her off balance, first," Dana said, rising to a sitting position and running her fingers through her hair."Is that so?" Dean asked, looking over at Karen."Yeah. I think too much. My teacher always said I played things perfectly, but he could hear me thinking about it the whole time. Day's a true performer, though. She doesn't think at all - she plays with her feelings, and that's what an audience connects with," Karen said, smiling proudly at Dana."Thoughtlessly playing with feelings; sounds about right," Dean said, chuckling when Dana punched him in the shoulder. "Speaking of, we're coming up on Bedford. Let me know if you need anything."Dana growled at this but said nothing as Karen blinked in confusion. Soon, Dean pulled off the interstate into a gas station and up to a gas pump. Dean hopped out of the truck and began filling the tank. After noticing the bug-splattered windshield, Karen changed back into her strappy heels and walked over to where the island held the squeegee and mop. Dean watched, bemused, as she diligently scrubbed the dried carcasses of insects off the glass while dressed to the nines. Karen finished and climbed back into the truck, only to have Dana grab her shoulder and start whispering in her ear and pointing at the convenience store. Karen, appearing distressed, blushed and said something back to Dana, who gestured emphatically.Dean kept watching as Karen seemed to screw up her courage, took her purse, and walked quickly into the store. He shot his sister a flat look. Dana only grinned, stretched, and put her feet up on the front seat. Shaking his head, he followed into the store."And what would you be needing all those for, hon?" the guy at the till asked while ogling Karen, who looked like she wanted to disappear under the rug."Um; it's uh;” Karen stammered."I need to ask for state regulatory purposes," the guy continued, as he put a large box of condoms on the counter and rang it up."They're for me," Dean said, as he tossed some drinks, chips and cookies on the counter. "Uncut and hangs to the left. Anything else the state needs to know about my cock?" The till guy cleared his throat and began ringing up the additional items and bagging them without further comment. Annoyed, Dean grabbed the bagged items in one hand and took Karen's hand in the other and left the store. "You know, you don't have to do everything my little sister tells you," he said under his breath as they walked to the truck."Then why'd you buy them? Seems like you can't tell her 'no' any more than I can," Karen replied, a little surprised that she had the guts to argue with him.Dean laughed, "I don't want her knocked up any more than you do." He helped her up into the truck and tossed the bag of items to his sister.Dana went digging through the bag and retrieved the box. "Wait a minute, these are just regular. Didn't they have lubricated?" she complained. Karen swallowed uncomfortably, searching for an answer as Dean pulled her seatbelt out and buckled it around her."Don't need lubricated if the guy does his job right," Dean said, grinning at her cheerfully. "Raise your standards and you won't need so many, either.""Hum; lower yours, and maybe you'll actually need some," Dana retorted, opening the package of cookies. Karen just shrank in her seat and covered her flaming cheeks as they pulled back onto the freeway.The scenery turned into wooded hills with mountains growing in the distance. Steering down the curved roads, Dean sighed quietly, a peaceful smile on his face. Karen leaned forward in her seat, trying to see everything as it passed, excitement lighting her face. Dana had fallen asleep again.Near evening, Dean turned the truck down a long, dirt road and reached behind him to shake Dana awake. "Watch for him, Day;” he said. Dana sat up, suddenly alert and scanning the darkening woods around them."What are we looking for?" Karen asked.

 Karen Saves The Universe: Part 1Desperate aliens kidnap a Karen to save their world!Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.On the starship Onan, the Priamites dubiously watched the screen display the creature. Dr. Fehr's algorithm had brought them trekking across the galaxy to a smallish, blue planet around an unimpressive star. While there was no denying the power emitted by the angry, festering organic matter before them, the thought of containing it and bringing it back to Priam was daunting. Still, the fate of their world hung upon the success of their mission."Do we have; uh; audio yet, Lieutenant Cavill?" Captain Hemsworth said, pausing briefly to joylessly ejaculate into his cumsuit, which quickly reclaimed the essence he emitted and channeled it into one of the suit's containment pouches to be resorbed as nourishment.Ever since the people of Eros had unleashed their horrific weapon on them, the Priamites orgasmed almost constantly. The Eros Curse, which seemed like a gift at first, became a tool of enslavement and oppression as the great Priam civilization devolved into listless people who passed the time sitting and staring at nothing in particular. Even special holidays were simply spent gathered in each other's' houses, grunting intermittently. The children of Priam, spared by the curse of Eros by living in growth pods, were never exposed to the disease or its effects until the seemingly arbitrary age of 18, so at least there was no trouble with the censors. The demands of orgasming so frequently took its toll on the Priamite's bodies. Dehydration, muscle spasms, and fatigue were common. The effects on the mind were worse. It wasn't until the invention of the cumsuit, which not only reclaimed the fluid loss and prevented dehydration, but also reduced arousing sensations until the wearer was nearly numb, that it was possible for them to journey out into the stars in search of a cure.Guided by the ancient journals of the revered Dr. Fehr, the Priamites had come to a small planet where it was foretold that there was a force of great and terrible power. It was hoped that this force could be used to break free of the cruel Eros Curse, but time was running out. Even wearing the cumsuits, the crew of the Onan, who were the most stoic, intellectual and sexless men of Priam, felt themselves progressively weakening to the Curse. It was only a matter of time until they lost all sense of duty and simply went adrift through the universe."No audio yet, Captain. The resonant frequency is so shrill that if we don't modulate the pitch; uh;” Lieutenant Cavill replied, closing his eyes and shaking as he orgasmed, then collapsed and stared blankly at the control panels as he recovered.Another crewman took over at the panel, "Captain, I can give you audio, but only for a short time. Even on their planet, they; they; oh; oh fuck;” the replacement said, stiffening as he spurted inside his suit, then shook his head to clear it and looked to their leader for orders. Captain Hemsworth braced himself in his chair and nodded for him to activate audio.A horrendous braying screech filled the bridge, “ No Idea Why You People Can't Even Take An Order Right! I Ordered The Cobb Salad With Extra Avocado! I Don't Care If It's Not On There Or Not! Fix The Damn Menu! I Have Been Coming Here For Over 15 Years And I Know For A Fact That You People Had Cobb Salad On There Two Years Ago When You Were Called Baker's Pie;"Another voice interjected, soft and conciliatory, "Oh, yes, ma'am; I see the confusion. The Baker's Pie that was here went out of business. This restaurant is Snooker's, now, so we don't have the same menu, but our club salad is very similar to;""Are You Actually Interrupting Me? Get. Me. A. Cobb. Salad. Extra Avocado! Do You Understand? Extra Avocado! Mucho Amortado! Comprendo Estupido?"Even in that short interlude, most of the Onan's bridge crew had begun bleeding from their ears and collapsing onto the deck. Captain Hemsworth, a man of rare tolerance and stamina, struggled past their unconscious bodies to the control panel and lowered the volume until it was barely audible. "Computer, disburse caffeline into bridge life support systems, 15 parts per million," he mumbled, leaning on the control panel for support as the strong stimulant hissed into the room. He didn't like to use the drug, because the heightened energy it gave often led to periods of prolonged involuntary masturbation, but he couldn't afford to waste time for the crewmen to awaken naturally. Not when conditions were so dire on Priam.Lieutenant Cavill groaned and rose weakly, climbing back into his console chair and checking the readings. "What happened, Captain? Our scans showed a primitive civilization on the planet without any meaningful defenses. What was that? Some kind of weapon?" he asked.Captain Hemsworth did a double-take at the crewman in wonder, but he said nothing. All around him, he watched the rest of the crew slowly getting to their feet and going back to their positions. All the men were alert, aware, and focused on their duties. Several of them were talking to each other; in full uninterrupted sentences. No one drooled, no one's eyes rolled back; not one of them stared off into space, as if dully re-living the curse that had infected their brains. He, himself, had not even felt the urge to sexually relieve himself once, even with the high levels of caffeline in the air. Indeed, he had not felt anything below the waist; not since he heard that voice. He doubted whether he would have the urge to orgasm ever again. They had finally done it."That was no weapon, Cavill; it is what we came here to find. It's the cure that Dr. Fehr told us was here all along. Contact High Command and tell them; tell them we found it. Tell them we have found; The Karen.The man-eating woman.After straightening out the incompetent waiter on her order, Karen Carmichael excused herself from her prayer group's table and walked to the restrooms, incensed. What kind of man actually cries when taking an order for a salad? Probably gay; or whatever kids were calling themselves these days. Was there such a thing as "gay" anymore, when people "identified" themselves as whatever the hell occurred to them? What was the point of picking a sexuality when people didn't even have a species anymore?Of course, Travis the Waiter had to play the victim about it, too, making the entire restaurant gawk over at their table like they were monsters. He probably knew they were a nice church group and went out of his way to make trouble. Sure, they all scream for "tolerance," but their types couldn't wait to attack nice people of faith like her who showed the world what it was to be decent and pure of heart. Well, he could just kiss his tip money goodbye! Tipping had gotten ridiculous anyway; a generation of whiny babies feeling entitled to extra money just for doing their jobs. ‘If ‘; they did their jobs. She couldn't even get a salad; and, by God, if the Manager didn't make things right, her Yelp review on this place would burn a hole through people's screens!Karen pushed on the door to the restroom tightly clutching her can of pepper spray, because sexual predators were always trying to rape women like her in public restrooms, and she nearly screamed when the door opened. Wet paper towels were everywhere. The garbage bin was overflowing, and some slob had splashed water all over the sink area! Now, she'd have to make the Manager take care of this, too! More drama, when she just wanted to have a nice lunch with her friends. And, of course, the Manager would just try to ‘handle ‘; her; as if she was some unreasonable bitch just for wanting to use a facility that wasn't absolutely disgusting! Then looking near her, but not at her, the Manager would apologize in that fake-nice voice and offer to comp her meal; offering her even more of what was bad in the first place. Managers and their fake apologies. They weren't sorry. The soulless jerks never meant it. They just wanted her to go away; acting like she was a scamming thief instead of someone who just wanted to be treated decently.She settled on the toilet and tried to calm herself. Lately, half the time she wanted to cry, or scream, or tear out her hair; but it wouldn't matter. Nothing would change. Everything changed around her, though. Menus; her children; hairstyles; prices; everything changed. It felt like everything had just left her behind. She looked everywhere for the things she used to love, but she couldn't find them anymore; and if she did find them, they weren't the same as they once were. Nothing made her feel her joy like she used to. That was it. Maybe she was done; that her turn at having any real joy was over. Now, the only time anyone tried to make her happy, or even looked at her, was when she screamed at them.Karen opened her eyes to a rattling sound at the door of her long, handicapped-bathroom stall. "Occupied!" she called out. To her dismay, the dial holding the sliding bolt turned all by itself and the door unlocked. "Hey! Get out!" she yelled, grabbing her pepper spray and holding it in front of her while she tried to stand and pull up her yoga pants."Nice human; good human;” a vaguely disembodied male voice said as a dark, hooded figure in a bizarre form-fitting spacesuit stepped into her stall holding what looked like a staff with a flexible loop affixed to the end of it. It slowly stepped toward her, as cautiously as one might approach a spooked animal. "Human want a nice piece of kale? Yes you do! Yes you do! Who's a good human?" it asked, holding out a curly dark green leaf to her and shaking it temptingly."What the hell?" she yelled, fumbling with the pepper spray can and trying to figure out how to make it work, just as the loop at the end of the staff went down over her head and around her neck, cinching tight.Karen choked, clutching at the loop with one hand, trying to loosen it so she could breathe, and with the other she emptied the can of pepper spray into the hooded face of her attacker. She struggled wildly, but the staff with the loop effectively controlled her and prevented her from landing any punches or kicks on her attacker. As darkness started creeping in on her vision, the last thing she saw was the figure deeply inhale the cloud of pepper spray and hold its breath, then say in a choked voice, "Ready for transport, sir; and man, they've got some good shit down here;”The forgotten leaf of kale fell down next to where Karen's cheek was pressed against the filthy bathroom floor, and with what she feared was her dying breath she choked out, "I want; to see; the; Manager;”Karen's ne victim."I used kale, Sir. Worked like a charm. It's one of the most nutritionally dense materials on the planet, so naturally, it was irresistible," a larger Priamite said to Captain Hemsworth, as he stripped out of his protective suit in a small enclave, bathed in an undulating light.Captain Hemsworth nodded. "Good work, Commander Momoa. Decontaminate for a full four cycles and I want protective measures in place for all personnel. God knows what this thing is capable of when it wakes."Karen heard garbled voices nearby, but kept her eyes closed and tried to steady her breathing. What had happened? The air smelled odd; almost crackling with ozone and energy, like a storm coming. The ambient sounds of the room told her she was not in Snookers anymore. Probably human traffickers. She saw a whole show about it. The bastards kidnapped her and were going to sell her into sexual slavery; except that she wasn't a teenager. She was 51 years old. Nobody would pay for sex with her, much less risk a felony conviction for it. Any ransom demands sent to her husband were going to have disappointing results, as well. So, what was going on? Why was she here? The kids were in college and wouldn't even notice she was gone until Christmas came. Her friends; her passive-aggressive competitors, if she was being honest; they'd just assume she left in a huff and stiffed them on the lunch check. The cold, hard truth was: nobody cared about her anymore and she knew it. That meant, if she was going to get out of this, she would have to do it herself. Her cheek hurt where it had hit that disgusting bathroom floor and she reached her hand up to touch it. The voices yelped in alarm and Karen opened her eyes to see two figures backing away from the enclosure she was imprisoned in."Who the hell are you, and what have you done with my purse?" she yelled, pushing herself to her feet. She walked toward them, crossing her arms and glaring. "I want whoever is in charge over here right now! I mean it!" she yelled, pointing as she walked toward them. One of the figures screamed, clutched at his ears and doubled over, staggering around the room dramatically. The other, larger one she recognized from the restaurant bathroom was in some tanning-booth-looking-thing, half naked and gorgeous in a likely-sexual-predator kind of way. Rather than flailing around the room, he seemed to have gone into a catatonic trance. God, people were useless. "You! Himbo!" she shouted, pointing at him. "Where is my purse? Did you even think to get it when you kidnapped me, or am I going to miss my Ozempic shot? I hope to God you assholes have good lawyers!"The beefy kidnapper in the tanning booth wobbled, then vomited loudly. Karen snorted as he slid down to the floor, unconscious. Pathetic. The smaller figure dove toward a panel on the wall next to her enclosure and pressed a few buttons and she heard the ambient noise of her room change, like it was encased, somehow."I've muted it. It's become even stronger than before;” Captain Hemsworth gasped, helping Commander Momoa to his feet again."How are we going to get it back to Priam? We could choke it out again every time it awakens; give the privilege out as a reward to the crew?" Commander Momoa suggested eagerly."No," Captain Hemsworth said, coming closer to the force field separating him from the angry Karen still yelling and pointing from inside the enclosure. "The cumulative effects of throttling it constantly might affect its functioning. We need The Karen at full power if we are to rescue Priam. We need to keep it conscious. We must feed it, provide it breathing gasses, and keep it clean; it appears to be constantly decaying. That reminds me ; cleaning duty goes to Ensign Holland. He's still on my shit list after the incident with the Zendayans.""Aye, sir."Captain Hemsworth cleared his throat and pressed another button on the side panel. "Hail Karen, bringer of blessed flaccidity, destroyer of abhorrent lust, and banisher of all erotic thought. We are men of the planet Priam. We mean you no harm. We come to you seeking aid, and we come in peace. Actually, until we found you, we would come almost constantly. It was disgusting. Everything was sticky. You see, our enemies from Eros sent us the most perfect pornographic images disguised in an innocent-looking email attachment. Once they were seen, they could not be unseen. They were burned into our brains, cursing us with perpetual arousal. The first wave of Priamites were taken by surprise once they activated the link. The next wave fell victim when the first wave posted the link on their social media because it was just so unbelievably; anyway, after the rest of our population fell out of curiosity or boredom, our civilization was nearly destroyed. We have been searching the stars for a cure, but to no avail. Then, just as all hope seemed lost, we found you; we heard your voice; and our loins finally withered. You are now a guest on my ship, The Onan, en route to my homeworld Priam. There, we will deliver your noxious, strident sounds to everyone, freeing them from their intransigent arousal. Then, after we are assured that all have been cured, we shall return you to your home."At this, Karen made an unpleasant face and began breathing on the clear wall of her enclosure, fogging it. Then, she quickly wrote a short message. "What does it mean?" Commander Momoa said, squinting at the squiggling lines she had made.At this, the computer made a chirp and began speaking, "The message, from the American dialect of the language English translates to: Why didn't you just make a recording?"Captain Hemsworth's shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes with a sigh. Commander Momoa's eyes went wide and he clapped his hand over his face in exasperation. "Fuck;” Momoa said in realization. "A recording;”"Dammit. We didn't have to take her at all, did we?" Captain Hemsworth groaned.Karen glared at them and wrote another word on the wall. As certain as Captain Hemsworth was that he did not need or want the translation, the computer was already on the job. "'Dumbasses,'" the computer cheerfully intoned, "a colloquial phrase, plural of the insult 'dumbass,' meaning 'a foolish or stupid person.'""End translation. Yes, Karen, if we had thought to record your voice instead of kidnapping you, this might have been a much shorter story, and considerably less inconvenient, but as it is, we are closer to Priam than Earth at this point, and our course is set. We will bring you to Priam and then return you home. Perhaps kidnapping you was not the most well-considered solution, but I defy you to think clearly after constantly watching porn for eons and let me know if you do any better."Karen's new calling.Great; as if getting old wasn't insult enough, I've actually become an intergalactic sexual repellent, Karen thought to herself as she paced around her cell. A lifetime of trying to do things right, and this is what it gets me. She wasn't so surprised that there were aliens in the universe, or that they had somehow weaponized porn, but that with all their advancements they were still so stupid!Sighing, she closed her eyes and listened to the ambient sounds of her cell. Life had been so noisy, the last 30 years. Everyone needing her, pulling on her for one thing or another. No peace. Lately though, with the kids gone and Cal; otherwise occupied; life had gone silent. The silence that she had wished for held no peace when it finally came. It just reverberated with the memory of things that had left her behind, making her anxious to fill the emptiness with noise. Nothing came to lure her mind away from the silence, no pleasurable temptations; her duties were done and it felt wrong to do, or even think about, anything else. My god, she had been kidnapped, was flying through the galaxy, and was surrounded by beefcake aliens and she was still thinking about that stupid loose tile in the master bathroom; she needed to get it fixed before the house was sold.A slight sound outside her cell drew her attention. "Who's there?" Karen asked, softly, opening her eyes.A wide-eyed figure peered around the edge of her cell, moving with cautious curiosity. It seemed younger than the other ones. It moved with a sense of barely-restrained eagerness, adorable and earnest. It also held a curved sort of wand in its hand."Honey, if you're here to anally probe me, I'll pass. I already had a colonoscopy this year, I'll have them send you the records;” she murmured, not expecting an answer.After a pause as the figure listened to the translation, its large eyes got even wider. "Is that how you poop?" he asked."What?" she asked, looking more closely at the young alien."I'm supposed to clean your cell when you poop; but you haven't pooped yet; wait, do colonoscopies make you poop?" it asked, scandalized.Karen closed her eyes and shook her head, "No. Colonoscopies put a small camera up your ass so that we can pay a doctor to do what we were afraid aliens like you would do to us if we got drunk in cornfields too much. They don't make us poop. In fact; well, never mind;” she trailed off, embarrassed.She still had vivid memories of her first colonoscopy earlier in the year, drinking gallons of preparatory laxatives, and the resulting quality time with her phone on the toilet. It was an odd experience; not awful, but not one that she could talk to anyone about. Her friends only talked about their kids and their successes, or whose husband cheated on them with some young thing, viciously salivating over their friends' misery with barely concealed glee. Forget about talking through her fears about it with Cal; that wasn't something he was interested in. Not anymore.After the procedure, she had been scared and disoriented from the sedation. For whatever reason, Cal hadn't shown up to give her a ride home. The stupid clinic wouldn't let her leave until someone could drive her home and take care of her. She just sat there getting more and more anxious. Eventually, she called an Uber and begged Xabiib the driver to pretend to be her neighbor; or just someone who cared about her. She spent the ride home trying to say his name correctly while he chuckled and repeated it for her. It was so horrifyingly embarrassing. It's one thing to have no one care about you, but another thing to have the whole world know about it when you were helpless and confused.Tears had rolled down her cheeks and she absently wiped them off with her hand. The young alien sat up and craned his head to look at the liquid on her hand. Karen snorted, "At ease, Holland. It's not poop. You're not getting anything out of me unless you have some heavy-duty magnesium supplements or yogurt."Holland's eyes went wide, "Are humans telepathic???" he gasped. "How did you know my name? Wow, that's so cool! Do it again! What am I thinking about now?"Karen suppressed a smile. Closing her eyes, she pressed her fingers to her temples and swayed from side to side, mysteriously. "I see something; something in the mist; something about; could it be; no, it makes no sense. Is it; a Zen; Zendayan? Does that make any sense to you?" she asked.Holland dropped his curved instrument in shock. "Yes! Yes! We just met them! We negotiated with them for supplies! I was there to carry stuff and; and;” he paused, shrinking in on himself a bit. "They are so beautiful. The Zendayans? So beautiful; and super nice; and just; like wow; I was supposed to just stand there until they were done with the talking and bowing and stuff, but they were just like so beautiful.""Well, what happened?" Karen asked."Captain introduced me and I bowed to them. I was feeling dizzy because, you know, their beautifulness just keeps radiating off them. Then; then; the most beautiful of them; she smiled." Holland stared at nothing, immersed in the memory, then wobbled, tipped over, and lay on the floor staring at the ceiling.Karen bit her lips in amusement. "I see. What did you do then?""I; I; I started talking and then I just couldn't stop because I was just trying to say how beautiful she was and how it just made my mind explode when she smiled and then I might have peed on the floor.""Oh dear," Karen said, cringing in sympathy. "We don't always put forward the face we want to when we are in our feelings, do we?" she said, quietly."Yeah; I've been cleaning poop ever since;” Holland sighed. After a while he sat back up, picked up the curved instrument and began twirling it in his hands. "So, like; what about you? Have you always made horrible noises?" he asked.Karen huffed, but then she saw the oblivious earnestness in Holland's face and sighed. "No; I wasn't always; like this. In fact, until about 30 years ago, I made beautiful noises. I was a pianist," she said."But, wait, they said you were a female;” Holland said, confused."Pee, an, ist," Karen repeated slowly. "I played the piano. It's an instrument; I was a musician. I was a student at Juilliard. It's a school on Earth; it was like a dream to even get in. I was on a scholarship, living in this shoddy apartment with my roommate Dana;” she trailed off, thinking about those days when everything seemed possible."Wait! Are you remembering?" Holland asked, breaking her reverie. "Can I remember it, too? Nobody wants to remember with me ever since the Zendayans, so I'm just left with my own memories and it gets so boring.""What are you talking about?""Well, it's kinda like; um; let me just show you. Computer, scan The Karen and project her memories," Holland ordered. A humming noise filled the room and a beam of light shot out of the wall and passed over her several times. Suddenly, her cell transformed into her shoddy apartment in Newark, New Jersey."Oh my gosh; it's just like it," Karen gasped looking around."Humans dream of getting into this?" Holland said, scrutinizing a cockroach scurrying along the floor."No, silly. This was our apartment across the river. We lived here when we weren't at school. Dana and I moved off campus in our second year. We took jobs on the side through an agency. That was when;” she sat down and a phone in the apartment's bedroom began ringing.A long, pale arm reached out of a pile of blankets on the bed and grabbed the phone. "Hullo?" Dana mumbled. A voice on the phone sounded irate. "Yeah, I'm almost there," she said and hung up.

 Karen Saves The Universe: Part 1Desperate aliens kidnap a Karen to save their world!Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.On the starship Onan, the Priamites dubiously watched the screen display the creature. Dr. Fehr's algorithm had brought them trekking across the galaxy to a smallish, blue planet around an unimpressive star. While there was no denying the power emitted by the angry, festering organic matter before them, the thought of containing it and bringing it back to Priam was daunting. Still, the fate of their world hung upon the success of their mission."Do we have; uh; audio yet, Lieutenant Cavill?" Captain Hemsworth said, pausing briefly to joylessly ejaculate into his cumsuit, which quickly reclaimed the essence he emitted and channeled it into one of the suit's containment pouches to be resorbed as nourishment.Ever since the people of Eros had unleashed their horrific weapon on them, the Priamites orgasmed almost constantly. The Eros Curse, which seemed like a gift at first, became a tool of enslavement and oppression as the great Priam civilization devolved into listless people who passed the time sitting and staring at nothing in particular. Even special holidays were simply spent gathered in each other's' houses, grunting intermittently. The children of Priam, spared by the curse of Eros by living in growth pods, were never exposed to the disease or its effects until the seemingly arbitrary age of 18, so at least there was no trouble with the censors. The demands of orgasming so frequently took its toll on the Priamite's bodies. Dehydration, muscle spasms, and fatigue were common. The effects on the mind were worse. It wasn't until the invention of the cumsuit, which not only reclaimed the fluid loss and prevented dehydration, but also reduced arousing sensations until the wearer was nearly numb, that it was possible for them to journey out into the stars in search of a cure.Guided by the ancient journals of the revered Dr. Fehr, the Priamites had come to a small planet where it was foretold that there was a force of great and terrible power. It was hoped that this force could be used to break free of the cruel Eros Curse, but time was running out. Even wearing the cumsuits, the crew of the Onan, who were the most stoic, intellectual and sexless men of Priam, felt themselves progressively weakening to the Curse. It was only a matter of time until they lost all sense of duty and simply went adrift through the universe."No audio yet, Captain. The resonant frequency is so shrill that if we don't modulate the pitch; uh;” Lieutenant Cavill replied, closing his eyes and shaking as he orgasmed, then collapsed and stared blankly at the control panels as he recovered.Another crewman took over at the panel, "Captain, I can give you audio, but only for a short time. Even on their planet, they; they; oh; oh fuck;” the replacement said, stiffening as he spurted inside his suit, then shook his head to clear it and looked to their leader for orders. Captain Hemsworth braced himself in his chair and nodded for him to activate audio.A horrendous braying screech filled the bridge, “ No Idea Why You People Can't Even Take An Order Right! I Ordered The Cobb Salad With Extra Avocado! I Don't Care If It's Not On There Or Not! Fix The Damn Menu! I Have Been Coming Here For Over 15 Years And I Know For A Fact That You People Had Cobb Salad On There Two Years Ago When You Were Called Baker's Pie;"Another voice interjected, soft and conciliatory, "Oh, yes, ma'am; I see the confusion. The Baker's Pie that was here went out of business. This restaurant is Snooker's, now, so we don't have the same menu, but our club salad is very similar to;""Are You Actually Interrupting Me? Get. Me. A. Cobb. Salad. Extra Avocado! Do You Understand? Extra Avocado! Mucho Amortado! Comprendo Estupido?"Even in that short interlude, most of the Onan's bridge crew had begun bleeding from their ears and collapsing onto the deck. Captain Hemsworth, a man of rare tolerance and stamina, struggled past their unconscious bodies to the control panel and lowered the volume until it was barely audible. "Computer, disburse caffeline into bridge life support systems, 15 parts per million," he mumbled, leaning on the control panel for support as the strong stimulant hissed into the room. He didn't like to use the drug, because the heightened energy it gave often led to periods of prolonged involuntary masturbation, but he couldn't afford to waste time for the crewmen to awaken naturally. Not when conditions were so dire on Priam.Lieutenant Cavill groaned and rose weakly, climbing back into his console chair and checking the readings. "What happened, Captain? Our scans showed a primitive civilization on the planet without any meaningful defenses. What was that? Some kind of weapon?" he asked.Captain Hemsworth did a double-take at the crewman in wonder, but he said nothing. All around him, he watched the rest of the crew slowly getting to their feet and going back to their positions. All the men were alert, aware, and focused on their duties. Several of them were talking to each other; in full uninterrupted sentences. No one drooled, no one's eyes rolled back; not one of them stared off into space, as if dully re-living the curse that had infected their brains. He, himself, had not even felt the urge to sexually relieve himself once, even with the high levels of caffeline in the air. Indeed, he had not felt anything below the waist; not since he heard that voice. He doubted whether he would have the urge to orgasm ever again. They had finally done it."That was no weapon, Cavill; it is what we came here to find. It's the cure that Dr. Fehr told us was here all along. Contact High Command and tell them; tell them we found it. Tell them we have found; The Karen.The man-eating woman.After straightening out the incompetent waiter on her order, Karen Carmichael excused herself from her prayer group's table and walked to the restrooms, incensed. What kind of man actually cries when taking an order for a salad? Probably gay; or whatever kids were calling themselves these days. Was there such a thing as "gay" anymore, when people "identified" themselves as whatever the hell occurred to them? What was the point of picking a sexuality when people didn't even have a species anymore?Of course, Travis the Waiter had to play the victim about it, too, making the entire restaurant gawk over at their table like they were monsters. He probably knew they were a nice church group and went out of his way to make trouble. Sure, they all scream for "tolerance," but their types couldn't wait to attack nice people of faith like her who showed the world what it was to be decent and pure of heart. Well, he could just kiss his tip money goodbye! Tipping had gotten ridiculous anyway; a generation of whiny babies feeling entitled to extra money just for doing their jobs. ‘If ‘; they did their jobs. She couldn't even get a salad; and, by God, if the Manager didn't make things right, her Yelp review on this place would burn a hole through people's screens!Karen pushed on the door to the restroom tightly clutching her can of pepper spray, because sexual predators were always trying to rape women like her in public restrooms, and she nearly screamed when the door opened. Wet paper towels were everywhere. The garbage bin was overflowing, and some slob had splashed water all over the sink area! Now, she'd have to make the Manager take care of this, too! More drama, when she just wanted to have a nice lunch with her friends. And, of course, the Manager would just try to ‘handle ‘; her; as if she was some unreasonable bitch just for wanting to use a facility that wasn't absolutely disgusting! Then looking near her, but not at her, the Manager would apologize in that fake-nice voice and offer to comp her meal; offering her even more of what was bad in the first place. Managers and their fake apologies. They weren't sorry. The soulless jerks never meant it. They just wanted her to go away; acting like she was a scamming thief instead of someone who just wanted to be treated decently.She settled on the toilet and tried to calm herself. Lately, half the time she wanted to cry, or scream, or tear out her hair; but it wouldn't matter. Nothing would change. Everything changed around her, though. Menus; her children; hairstyles; prices; everything changed. It felt like everything had just left her behind. She looked everywhere for the things she used to love, but she couldn't find them anymore; and if she did find them, they weren't the same as they once were. Nothing made her feel her joy like she used to. That was it. Maybe she was done; that her turn at having any real joy was over. Now, the only time anyone tried to make her happy, or even looked at her, was when she screamed at them.Karen opened her eyes to a rattling sound at the door of her long, handicapped-bathroom stall. "Occupied!" she called out. To her dismay, the dial holding the sliding bolt turned all by itself and the door unlocked. "Hey! Get out!" she yelled, grabbing her pepper spray and holding it in front of her while she tried to stand and pull up her yoga pants."Nice human; good human;” a vaguely disembodied male voice said as a dark, hooded figure in a bizarre form-fitting spacesuit stepped into her stall holding what looked like a staff with a flexible loop affixed to the end of it. It slowly stepped toward her, as cautiously as one might approach a spooked animal. "Human want a nice piece of kale? Yes you do! Yes you do! Who's a good human?" it asked, holding out a curly dark green leaf to her and shaking it temptingly."What the hell?" she yelled, fumbling with the pepper spray can and trying to figure out how to make it work, just as the loop at the end of the staff went down over her head and around her neck, cinching tight.Karen choked, clutching at the loop with one hand, trying to loosen it so she could breathe, and with the other she emptied the can of pepper spray into the hooded face of her attacker. She struggled wildly, but the staff with the loop effectively controlled her and prevented her from landing any punches or kicks on her attacker. As darkness started creeping in on her vision, the last thing she saw was the figure deeply inhale the cloud of pepper spray and hold its breath, then say in a choked voice, "Ready for transport, sir; and man, they've got some good shit down here;”The forgotten leaf of kale fell down next to where Karen's cheek was pressed against the filthy bathroom floor, and with what she feared was her dying breath she choked out, "I want; to see; the; Manager;”Karen's ne victim."I used kale, Sir. Worked like a charm. It's one of the most nutritionally dense materials on the planet, so naturally, it was irresistible," a larger Priamite said to Captain Hemsworth, as he stripped out of his protective suit in a small enclave, bathed in an undulating light.Captain Hemsworth nodded. "Good work, Commander Momoa. Decontaminate for a full four cycles and I want protective measures in place for all personnel. God knows what this thing is capable of when it wakes."Karen heard garbled voices nearby, but kept her eyes closed and tried to steady her breathing. What had happened? The air smelled odd; almost crackling with ozone and energy, like a storm coming. The ambient sounds of the room told her she was not in Snookers anymore. Probably human traffickers. She saw a whole show about it. The bastards kidnapped her and were going to sell her into sexual slavery; except that she wasn't a teenager. She was 51 years old. Nobody would pay for sex with her, much less risk a felony conviction for it. Any ransom demands sent to her husband were going to have disappointing results, as well. So, what was going on? Why was she here? The kids were in college and wouldn't even notice she was gone until Christmas came. Her friends; her passive-aggressive competitors, if she was being honest; they'd just assume she left in a huff and stiffed them on the lunch check. The cold, hard truth was: nobody cared about her anymore and she knew it. That meant, if she was going to get out of this, she would have to do it herself. Her cheek hurt where it had hit that disgusting bathroom floor and she reached her hand up to touch it. The voices yelped in alarm and Karen opened her eyes to see two figures backing away from the enclosure she was imprisoned in."Who the hell are you, and what have you done with my purse?" she yelled, pushing herself to her feet. She walked toward them, crossing her arms and glaring. "I want whoever is in charge over here right now! I mean it!" she yelled, pointing as she walked toward them. One of the figures screamed, clutched at his ears and doubled over, staggering around the room dramatically. The other, larger one she recognized from the restaurant bathroom was in some tanning-booth-looking-thing, half naked and gorgeous in a likely-sexual-predator kind of way. Rather than flailing around the room, he seemed to have gone into a catatonic trance. God, people were useless. "You! Himbo!" she shouted, pointing at him. "Where is my purse? Did you even think to get it when you kidnapped me, or am I going to miss my Ozempic shot? I hope to God you assholes have good lawyers!"The beefy kidnapper in the tanning booth wobbled, then vomited loudly. Karen snorted as he slid down to the floor, unconscious. Pathetic. The smaller figure dove toward a panel on the wall next to her enclosure and pressed a few buttons and she heard the ambient noise of her room change, like it was encased, somehow."I've muted it. It's become even stronger than before;” Captain Hemsworth gasped, helping Commander Momoa to his feet again."How are we going to get it back to Priam? We could choke it out again every time it awakens; give the privilege out as a reward to the crew?" Commander Momoa suggested eagerly."No," Captain Hemsworth said, coming closer to the force field separating him from the angry Karen still yelling and pointing from inside the enclosure. "The cumulative effects of throttling it constantly might affect its functioning. We need The Karen at full power if we are to rescue Priam. We need to keep it conscious. We must feed it, provide it breathing gasses, and keep it clean; it appears to be constantly decaying. That reminds me ; cleaning duty goes to Ensign Holland. He's still on my shit list after the incident with the Zendayans.""Aye, sir."Captain Hemsworth cleared his throat and pressed another button on the side panel. "Hail Karen, bringer of blessed flaccidity, destroyer of abhorrent lust, and banisher of all erotic thought. We are men of the planet Priam. We mean you no harm. We come to you seeking aid, and we come in peace. Actually, until we found you, we would come almost constantly. It was disgusting. Everything was sticky. You see, our enemies from Eros sent us the most perfect pornographic images disguised in an innocent-looking email attachment. Once they were seen, they could not be unseen. They were burned into our brains, cursing us with perpetual arousal. The first wave of Priamites were taken by surprise once they activated the link. The next wave fell victim when the first wave posted the link on their social media because it was just so unbelievably; anyway, after the rest of our population fell out of curiosity or boredom, our civilization was nearly destroyed. We have been searching the stars for a cure, but to no avail. Then, just as all hope seemed lost, we found you; we heard your voice; and our loins finally withered. You are now a guest on my ship, The Onan, en route to my homeworld Priam. There, we will deliver your noxious, strident sounds to everyone, freeing them from their intransigent arousal. Then, after we are assured that all have been cured, we shall return you to your home."At this, Karen made an unpleasant face and began breathing on the clear wall of her enclosure, fogging it. Then, she quickly wrote a short message. "What does it mean?" Commander Momoa said, squinting at the squiggling lines she had made.At this, the computer made a chirp and began speaking, "The message, from the American dialect of the language English translates to: Why didn't you just make a recording?"Captain Hemsworth's shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes with a sigh. Commander Momoa's eyes went wide and he clapped his hand over his face in exasperation. "Fuck;” Momoa said in realization. "A recording;”"Dammit. We didn't have to take her at all, did we?" Captain Hemsworth groaned.Karen glared at them and wrote another word on the wall. As certain as Captain Hemsworth was that he did not need or want the translation, the computer was already on the job. "'Dumbasses,'" the computer cheerfully intoned, "a colloquial phrase, plural of the insult 'dumbass,' meaning 'a foolish or stupid person.'""End translation. Yes, Karen, if we had thought to record your voice instead of kidnapping you, this might have been a much shorter story, and considerably less inconvenient, but as it is, we are closer to Priam than Earth at this point, and our course is set. We will bring you to Priam and then return you home. Perhaps kidnapping you was not the most well-considered solution, but I defy you to think clearly after constantly watching porn for eons and let me know if you do any better."Karen's new calling.Great; as if getting old wasn't insult enough, I've actually become an intergalactic sexual repellent, Karen thought to herself as she paced around her cell. A lifetime of trying to do things right, and this is what it gets me. She wasn't so surprised that there were aliens in the universe, or that they had somehow weaponized porn, but that with all their advancements they were still so stupid!Sighing, she closed her eyes and listened to the ambient sounds of her cell. Life had been so noisy, the last 30 years. Everyone needing her, pulling on her for one thing or another. No peace. Lately though, with the kids gone and Cal; otherwise occupied; life had gone silent. The silence that she had wished for held no peace when it finally came. It just reverberated with the memory of things that had left her behind, making her anxious to fill the emptiness with noise. Nothing came to lure her mind away from the silence, no pleasurable temptations; her duties were done and it felt wrong to do, or even think about, anything else. My god, she had been kidnapped, was flying through the galaxy, and was surrounded by beefcake aliens and she was still thinking about that stupid loose tile in the master bathroom; she needed to get it fixed before the house was sold.A slight sound outside her cell drew her attention. "Who's there?" Karen asked, softly, opening her eyes.A wide-eyed figure peered around the edge of her cell, moving with cautious curiosity. It seemed younger than the other ones. It moved with a sense of barely-restrained eagerness, adorable and earnest. It also held a curved sort of wand in its hand."Honey, if you're here to anally probe me, I'll pass. I already had a colonoscopy this year, I'll have them send you the records;” she murmured, not expecting an answer.After a pause as the figure listened to the translation, its large eyes got even wider. "Is that how you poop?" he asked."What?" she asked, looking more closely at the young alien."I'm supposed to clean your cell when you poop; but you haven't pooped yet; wait, do colonoscopies make you poop?" it asked, scandalized.Karen closed her eyes and shook her head, "No. Colonoscopies put a small camera up your ass so that we can pay a doctor to do what we were afraid aliens like you would do to us if we got drunk in cornfields too much. They don't make us poop. In fact; well, never mind;” she trailed off, embarrassed.She still had vivid memories of her first colonoscopy earlier in the year, drinking gallons of preparatory laxatives, and the resulting quality time with her phone on the toilet. It was an odd experience; not awful, but not one that she could talk to anyone about. Her friends only talked about their kids and their successes, or whose husband cheated on them with some young thing, viciously salivating over their friends' misery with barely concealed glee. Forget about talking through her fears about it with Cal; that wasn't something he was interested in. Not anymore.After the procedure, she had been scared and disoriented from the sedation. For whatever reason, Cal hadn't shown up to give her a ride home. The stupid clinic wouldn't let her leave until someone could drive her home and take care of her. She just sat there getting more and more anxious. Eventually, she called an Uber and begged Xabiib the driver to pretend to be her neighbor; or just someone who cared about her. She spent the ride home trying to say his name correctly while he chuckled and repeated it for her. It was so horrifyingly embarrassing. It's one thing to have no one care about you, but another thing to have the whole world know about it when you were helpless and confused.Tears had rolled down her cheeks and she absently wiped them off with her hand. The young alien sat up and craned his head to look at the liquid on her hand. Karen snorted, "At ease, Holland. It's not poop. You're not getting anything out of me unless you have some heavy-duty magnesium supplements or yogurt."Holland's eyes went wide, "Are humans telepathic???" he gasped. "How did you know my name? Wow, that's so cool! Do it again! What am I thinking about now?"Karen suppressed a smile. Closing her eyes, she pressed her fingers to her temples and swayed from side to side, mysteriously. "I see something; something in the mist; something about; could it be; no, it makes no sense. Is it; a Zen; Zendayan? Does that make any sense to you?" she asked.Holland dropped his curved instrument in shock. "Yes! Yes! We just met them! We negotiated with them for supplies! I was there to carry stuff and; and;” he paused, shrinking in on himself a bit. "They are so beautiful. The Zendayans? So beautiful; and super nice; and just; like wow; I was supposed to just stand there until they were done with the talking and bowing and stuff, but they were just like so beautiful.""Well, what happened?" Karen asked."Captain introduced me and I bowed to them. I was feeling dizzy because, you know, their beautifulness just keeps radiating off them. Then; then; the most beautiful of them; she smiled." Holland stared at nothing, immersed in the memory, then wobbled, tipped over, and lay on the floor staring at the ceiling.Karen bit her lips in amusement. "I see. What did you do then?""I; I; I started talking and then I just couldn't stop because I was just trying to say how beautiful she was and how it just made my mind explode when she smiled and then I might have peed on the floor.""Oh dear," Karen said, cringing in sympathy. "We don't always put forward the face we want to when we are in our feelings, do we?" she said, quietly."Yeah; I've been cleaning poop ever since;” Holland sighed. After a while he sat back up, picked up the curved instrument and began twirling it in his hands. "So, like; what about you? Have you always made horrible noises?" he asked.Karen huffed, but then she saw the oblivious earnestness in Holland's face and sighed. "No; I wasn't always; like this. In fact, until about 30 years ago, I made beautiful noises. I was a pianist," she said."But, wait, they said you were a female;” Holland said, confused."Pee, an, ist," Karen repeated slowly. "I played the piano. It's an instrument; I was a musician. I was a student at Juilliard. It's a school on Earth; it was like a dream to even get in. I was on a scholarship, living in this shoddy apartment with my roommate Dana;” she trailed off, thinking about those days when everything seemed possible."Wait! Are you remembering?" Holland asked, breaking her reverie. "Can I remember it, too? Nobody wants to remember with me ever since the Zendayans, so I'm just left with my own memories and it gets so boring.""What are you talking about?""Well, it's kinda like; um; let me just show you. Computer, scan The Karen and project her memories," Holland ordered. A humming noise filled the room and a beam of light shot out of the wall and passed over her several times. Suddenly, her cell transformed into her shoddy apartment in Newark, New Jersey."Oh my gosh; it's just like it," Karen gasped looking around."Humans dream of getting into this?" Holland said, scrutinizing a cockroach scurrying along the floor."No, silly. This was our apartment across the river. We lived here when we weren't at school. Dana and I moved off campus in our second year. We took jobs on the side through an agency. That was when;” she sat down and a phone in the apartment's bedroom began ringing.A long, pale arm reached out of a pile of blankets on the bed and grabbed the phone. "Hullo?" Dana mumbled. A voice on the phone sounded irate. "Yeah, I'm almost there," she said and hung up.

It's been a long time in the making, but we finally get the fight between Achilles and Hector. Tune in for Priam and Hecabe trying to make their son see reason, a surprise cameo from Eddie Redmayne and how not to be respectful to your enemy's corpse...Sources for this episode:Homer (1965), The Iliad. Translated by E. V. Rieu. Harmondsworth; Penguin Books Ltd.

We journey through the different eras and incarnations of Troy as archaeologists have reconstructed them from the excavations at Hissarlik. We then explore the surviving evidence -- including linguistic theories, newly discovered tablets from the ancient Hittite capital, and the long-lost and rediscovered "Priam's Treasure" that Schliemann unearthed-- to form a picture of who the Trojans were and what sort of city they created in the Bronze Age world. Image: Gold jewels & vessels from "Priam's Treasure" as displayed at the Pushkin State Museum of Fine Arts, Moscow, 1990s. Music: "Les Cyclopes," by Rameau, performed by Paul Barton & published by Feurich Further Reading: Tolstikov & Treister, “The Gold of Troy”; Allen, “Finding the Walls of Troy”; Traill, “Schliemann of Troy”; Moorehead, “Lost and Found: the 9,000 Treasures of Troy”; McCarty, “Troy: The Myth and Reality Behind the Epic Legend”; Gainsford, Kiwi Hellenist blog, “The Trojan War #3: Bronze Age Evidence,” ; Fitton & Villing, British Museum blog, “The Search for the Lost City of Troy,” Please sign up as a patron at any level, to hear patron-only lectures, including on the Dead Sea Scrolls -- https://www.patreon.com/c/user?u=5530632

Cw: implications of suicide, death,  Hugo starts us off with some equal opportunity foot fetish, the return of a knob, and Javert and Valjean meet again in filthy circumstances. Javert and Valjean have a tense cab ride around town, Marius narrowly escapes becoming the protagonist of a different musical and if an old man can change, then so can other people. I talk about Nestor. It's not Nestor, it's Priam. War and Peace Daily    This podcast was produced by Nemo Martin. The audio direction and intro composing is by JDWasabi. It is a Captain's Collection Creation. Bread & Barricades (@LesMisPodcast) | Twitter Bread & Barricades | Tumblr Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/lesmispodcast  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/LesMisPodcast

It is one of the foundational achievements of archaeology, and one of the most momentous discoveries ever made in any field -- We follow the long debate over whether and where the remains of the ancient legendary city of Troy could be found, and we see how the mystery was solved by the excavations overseen by the brilliant, ruthless, and indefatigable German businessman, explorer, and serial liar, Heinrich Schliemann. Pt. 2 will examine how modern scholars and excavators have used the finds from the site in Turkey -- including the long lost priceless "Treasure of Priam" -- to reconstruct the city and its place in the Bronze-Age world. Music: "Les Cyclopes" by Jean-Philippe Rameau, played on piano by Paul Barton, and published by Feurich Piano. Image: Sophia Schliemann posing in a gold diadem, necklace, and earrings from Troy 2, dubbed "The Jewels of Helen," 1873-4. Please sign up as a patron to hear all patron-only lectures, including the previous "Doorways in Time" on the Dead Sea Scrolls -- https://www.patreon.com/c/user?u=5530632

À l'occasion de la sortie de son livre La Légende Xenoblade, nous recevons ce mois-ci Jérémie Priam !Au programme :

Sound Teams est un podcast de Third Éditions qui décrypte la musique de jeu vidéo. Ce vingt-troisième numéro s'intéresse à la musique de la trilogie Xenoblade.Les bandes-originales de la trilogie Xenoblade font clairement partie des plus impressionnantes de la sphère du J-RPG, notamment à partir du deuxième épisode, où les moyens déployés ont été colossaux pour offrir aux musiques une qualité de production éclatante. Ces OST regorgent de morceaux mémorables, aux couleurs variées et aux émotions profondes. Comment les différentes esthétiques musicales de la trilogie se sont construites et ont évolué au fil des épisodes ? Pour y répondre, Damien Mecheri reçoit le compositeur et sound designer Julien Goyon, ainsi que Jérémie Priam, l'auteur de notre ouvrage La Légende Xenoblade.Au sommaire de ce numéro : - 00:00 | Introduction- 03:15 | La contre-vérité : Yasunori Mitsuda est-il le compositeur attitré de Xenoblade ?- 06:20 | Les coulisses de la musique des Xenoblade- 24:50 | À la bouche : les musiques données en exemple par Takahashi- 29:20 | Musiques d'exploration et musiques de combat- 01:14:20 | Les recommandations- 01:17:20 | La narration musicale : l'accompagnement des cutscenes- 01:55:21 | L'actualité de ThirdN'hésitez pas à nous faire part de vos retours en commentaire et à noter le podcast !Générique composé par Hiroki Kikuta

We return to Wolfgang Petersen's Troy: Director's Cut 20 years after its initial release and discover a film that's aged surprisingly well. Featuring an incredible cast including Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Peter O'Toole, Sean Bean, Brian Cox, Brendan Gleeson, and Orlando Bloom, Troy is carried by the actors' strong performances. While not strictly true to the Iliad, Troy's daring attempt to place the Trojan War on film deserves praise, as do the incredible combat and battle sequences. While the quality is incredibly uneven and varies scene-to-scene, our hosts are willing to cope with the awful Achilles-Briseis romantic arc to enjoy the well-told stories of Hector and Priam. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

#13 ||

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The secondborn son of Priam and Hecabe was already making a big splash before he was born- and well before he swooped on a woman called Helen. There's not many of us who get a prophecy about our destructive legacy- or who get confused with a major European city... Sources for this episode: Frazer, J. G. (1921), Apollodorus: The Library (Volume II). London: William Heinemann. Graves, R. (1981), Greek Myths: Illustrated Edition. London: Cassell Ltd. Ovid (1914), Heroides and Amores. Translated by G. Showerman. London and New York: William Heinemann and The Macmillan Co. Smith; W. (ed.) (1867), Dictionary of Greek and Roman Biography and Mythology. In Three Volumes (Vol. 1-3.). Boston: Little, Brown, And Company. Wilkinson, P., Carroll, G., Faulkner, M., Field, J. F., Haywood, J., Kerrigan, M., Philip, N., Pumphrey, N. and Tocino-Smith, J. (2018), The Mythology Book. London: Dorling Kindersley Limited. Author unknown, Merriam Webster (date unknown), What is a 'Firebrand?' (online) (Accessed 10/11/2024). Author unknown, Wikipedia (date unknown), Heroides (online) (Accessed 10/11/2024).

Le PTIT BURO, l'émission rugby sur TWITCH, tous les lundis à 18h !Nouvelle rubrique en fin d'émission, on crée les transferts les plus improbable en jouant à Mr l'Agent !Le BUS du TOP14 de la 5ème journée.Dans les NEWS : L'histoire d'un MATCH incroyable !DEBAT sur les règles de la FFR pour encadrer le comportement des joueurs. Hébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

Retrouvez l'émission en direct tous les lundis sur Twitch. LA GRANDE PREVIEW du TOP14 !Hébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

Hébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

Hébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

Vous avez peut-être étudié l'Iliade et l'Odyssée d'Homère à l'école ou vu le film "Troie" avec Brad Pitt, Lorànt Deutsch nous raconte comment le 14 juin 1873, l'allemand Schliemann a cru découvrir le Trésor du Roi des Troyens. Du lundi au vendredi, Lorànt Deutsch vous donne rendez-vous dans la matinale de RTL. Chaque jour, l'animateur de "Entrez dans l'histoire" revient sur ces grands moments qui ont façonné notre pays.

“It is to be expected, then, that we do not say that either a cow or a horse or any other animal is at all happy, for none of them are able to share in such an activity.It is because of this too that a child is not happy either: he is not yet apt to do such things, on account of his age. …As we said, both complete virtue and a complete life are required: many reversals and all manner of fortune arise in the course of life, and it is possible for someone who is particularly thriving to encounter great disasters in old age, just as the myth is told about Priam in the Trojan tales.Nobody deems happy someone who deals with fortunes of that sort and comes to a wretched end.” (Nicomachean Ethics, I.9) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit figsinwinter.substack.com/subscribe

Dcn. Harrison Garlick and Adam Minihan discuss the FINAL book of the Iliad: Book 24 - Achilles and Priam. Check out our 65-page guide to the Iliad!I have put to my lips the hands of the man who killed my son. Priam to Achilles (24.591) 103. What happens in book twenty-four?The funeral games have ended, and Achilles, who still mourns for Patroclus, drags Hector's body behind his chariot around Patroclus' tomb (24.19). Twelve days after the death of Hector, Apollo pleads with the gods to save the body of the Trojan prince (24.39). In response, Zeus declares that “Achilles must receive a ransom from King Priam, Achilles must give Hector's body back” (24.94). Zeus tells Thetis his plan, and Thetis informs her son (24.127). Zeus sends Iris to Troy to tell King Priam, who she finds smeared in dung and mourning his son, that the Father of gods and men commands him to ransom his son from Achilles (24.204). Priam, despite the protests of his wife (24.238), obeys the goddess and prepares to leave (24.259). Priam leaves Troy on his chariot alongside a wagon of treasure (24.382). On the plains of Troy, Priam is met by Hermes, under the guise of a Myrmidon, who guides him into the Achaean camp (24.526). Hermes reveals himself to Priam and tells the king of Troy to go into Achilles' tent and hug his knees (24.546).Priam does as he is told, and, hugging the knees of Achilles, kisses “his hands, those terrible man-killing hands that slaughtered Priam's many sons in battle” (24.562). Priam exhorts Achilles to remember his own father, Peleus, and Achilles thinks of his father and weeps with Priam (24.595). Priam asks for the body of Hector (24.650), and though Achilles warns Priam not to tempt his rage (24.667), Achilles has the body of Hector washed and carries it to the wagon himself (24.691). Achilles promises King Priam that the Achaeans will wait twelve days before restarting the war to allow Troy to bury Prince Hector (24.787). Priam sleeps on the porch outside the lodge of Achilles, and Hermes wakes him up to send him home before Agamemnon finds him (24.808). Priam returns home to Troy, and Troy is “plunged… into uncontrollable grief” (24.831). For nine days, the Trojans “hauled in boundless stores of timber” for the funeral pyre of Hector (24.921). On the tenth day, they set the body of Hector “aloft the pyre's crest, [and] flung a torch and set it all aflame” (24.924). The next day, the Trojans bury Hector's bones in a golden chest and end the rites with a “splendid funeral feast” (24.942). And thus, Homer ends the Iliad with the burial of “Hector breaker of horses” (24.944). 104. What is the backstory of why Hera and Athena hate Troy?In the final book of the Iliad, Homer makes reference to the narratives that led to the Trojan war. Hera states that she “brought up” Thetis and gave her in marriage to a mortal, King Peleus (24.72). The story goes that Zeus loved Thetis, but the Titan Prometheus told him that Thetis was destined to bear a son greater than his father.[1] As such, Zeus gave Thetis to Peleus, a mortal, so the son would also be mortal.[2] Homer's reference of Hera's role in the Iliad implies she had some part in this scheme as well. Peleus had to wrestle the immortal sea nymph, Thetis, as she changed shapes to win her heart.[3] He was successful, and the gods...

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Late Nights at Blockbuster Our latest Late Nights at Blockbuster is on the 20th anniversary of Troy. Brad Pitt doesn't say great things about this movie and sometimes we don't either. We talk plenty about the nonsense that Priam participated in to further the plot of this movie. Sorry if you are an Eric Bana apologist, we don't go in on him but we gift him one of our awards that you don't want. We have the same Orlando Bloom conversation that we have every time he shows up in a movie. We're sorry, we realized it as we were finishing it, we're moving on and we'll do better next time.  Intro/Outro music by friend of the podcast Seth Gilbertson. Find more music at iTunes (⁠https://music.apple.com/us/artist/seth-gilbertson/1155231950⁠) and YouTube (⁠https://www.youtube.com/user/sethgilbertson/videos⁠)

Dcn. Harrison Garlick and Adam Minihan discuss Book 22 on the Death of Hector. “There are no binding oaths between men and lions—wolves and lambs can enjoy no meeting of the minds—they are all bent on hating each other to death.” Achilles (22.310). 97. What happens in book twenty-two? The Trojans scurry back into the city like “panicked fawns,” while Hector remains outside the walls (22.05). Apollo, who had taken the form of a Trojan soldier to make Achilles chase him, reveals his trickery to Achilles (22.09)—and Achilles turns back to the city (22.26). Despite the pleas of Priam (22.31) and Hecuba (22.93), Hector remains outside the walls “nursing his quenchless fury” (22.115). As Achilles approaches, Hector's courage fails, and he begins to run around the walls of Troy with Achilles in pursuit (22.163). Zeus' “heart grieves for Hector,” (22.202), but he gives permission to Athena to do as she wills (22.220). Hector tries to enter the city, but Achilles thwarts him (22.234). Achilles also holds back the Achaean army, now observing the chase, from intervening (22.245). Zeus once again holds out his golden scales, and fate elects that it is time for Hector to die (22.249).Athena takes on the form of Deiphobus, brother of Hector, and convinces Hector to stand together and fight Achilles (22.271). Hector faces Achilles and tries to make a pact that the victor will not mutilate the corpse of the fallen but give it to his people for burial (22.301). Achilles rejects this offer, stating: “There are no binding oaths between men and lions—wolves and lambs can enjoy no meeting of the minds—they are all bent on hating each other to death” (22.310). Hector and Achilles clash in combat, and Hector calls to his brother, Deiphobus, for help—but there is no answer (22.347). Hector realizes the gods have tricked him and that his time has come (22.350). He elects to die in glory, and he charges Achilles (22.359). Achilles strikes down Hector and tells him: “The dogs and birds will maul you” (22.395). Hector pleads to be given to his people, but Achilles rejects him saying: “My fury would drive me now to hack your flesh away and eat you raw” (22.408). Hector prophesies that “Paris and Lord Apollo” will strike down Achilles outside of Troy (22.423). Hector dies (22.425). The Achaeans all stab his body (22.437), and Achilles drags it behind his chariot (22.466). Priam and Hecuba cry out for their son (22.478), and Andromache “bursts out in grief” (22.560). The book ends with Andromache lamenting the impending fate of her son, Astyanax, the little “Lord of the City” (22.569). 98. What structure does piety give the death of Hector?Previously, Hector's return to Troy provided an insight into the ancient threefold notion of piety: gratitude toward the gods, the city, and the family. It is a gratitude that precipitates a sense of duty. The threefold notion of piety—which is in a hierarchal order—appears to provide a certain infrastructure (and tension) to the narrative around Hector's death. For example, Hector disregards the appeals of his parents, Priam (22.32) and Hecuba (22.93), to retreat to the walls of Troy presumably due to his duty to defend Troy (22.129). Hector's piety toward the gods is praised by Zeus in the same conversation in which the son of Cronus orchestrates his death (22.129). It is notable the deception of Hector comes through his comradery toward another soldier of Troy and a familial relation, his brother (22.270). It further raises the question that for all Hector's piety toward Troy, no one seems interested in helping him. Hector, who is...

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Dcn. Harrison Garlick and Adam Minihan discuss Book 20 of the Iliad: The Olympian Gods in ArmsSummary of the narrativeWhat is Aeneas special?Some details others often overlookCheck out our GUIDE TO THE ILIAD. “Aeneas will rule the men of Troy in power—his son's sons and the sons born in future years.” Poseidon (20.355). 90. What happens in book twenty?Zeus calls the gods to council and tells them that they may now aide whatever side they wish—the strict decree to not intervene is over (20.29). And why does Zeus do this? He states: “I fear [Achilles will] raze the walls against the will of fate” (20.36). As such, Hera, Athena, Poseidon, and Hermes go to the Achaeans, and Ares, Apollo, Artemis, Leto, Xanthus, and Aphrodite go to the Trojans (20.40).[1] The gods clash in an apocalyptic war (20.80). Achilles searches for Hector, but Apollo convinces Aeneas to duel him (20.99). Poseidon convinces the gods of a truce, and the immortals line the battlefield to watch the mortals wage war (20.160). After some taunting, Achilles and Aeneas meet on the battlefield (20.299). Aeneas' spear fails to penetrate the great shield of Achilles (20.310), and the ashen spear of Achilles penetrates Aeneas' shield but fails to hit him (20.319). Aeneas lifts a giant boulder, and we are given a future glimpse at fate: Aeneas will hit Achilles, but Achilles' counter will slay Aeneas (20.331). Oddly, it is Poseidon, not Apollo, who takes pity on Aeneas, for Poseidon tells the gods Aeneas is “destined to survive” (20.349). Hera refuses to pity a Trojan (20.357); so, Poseidon saves Aeneas and tells him to stay away from Achilles, because “no other Achaean can bring you down in war” (20.386). Unlike with Aeneas, Apollo advises Hector to not engage Achilles (20.428). Achilles slaughters several Trojans including Polydorus, the brother of Hector (20.476). Hector, unable to bear watching Achilles slaughter his countrymen, engages Achilles against Apollo's command and throws his spear at him (20.479). Athena makes Hector's spear blow back to him and land at his feet (20.500), and Apollo whisks Hector away before Achilles can kill him (20.502). More and more Trojans fall to Achilles until the young Trojan Tros falls at Achilles knees, clutching him, and begs for mercy (20.524). Achilles slits open is liver and watches his “dark blood” spill out (20.530). The book ends with Achilles raging like an “inhuman fire,” like a “frenzied god” (20.558). 91. What is the destiny of Aeneas?In his stance against Achilles, Aeneas presents his genealogy—presumably due to Apollo's observation that Aeneas' patrimony is more impressive than Achilles' (20.250, 125). We also see Poseidon tell the gods that Aeneas is “destined to survive” (20.349). Most notable, Poseidon prophesies: “Aeneas will rule the men of Troy in power—his son's sons and the sons born in future years” (20.355). How will Aeneas rule Troy, however, if Troy is already fated to be destroyed? Aeneas is destined to be the founder of a new Troy. His genealogy shows he is from the “younger branch of the Trojan royal house (Priam, king of Troy, was the older branch.”[2] And, as Fagles notes, “Aeneas is to be the only survivor of the royal house of Troy, and here his lineage is established.”

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In this episode Colton discusses this final section Homer's Iliad. He reconsiders the question he posed in Episode 2, “Is the purpose of Achilles' rage to set up the reader for something beautiful in Book 24?” Achilles' rage does not cease until Priam secretly comes to him by night to offer a ransom for the body of Hector. Why is this? How is it that Priam can still Achilles' rage once and for all? Could vice serve virtue in any capacity—meaning, does sin ever play a specifically-designed role in bringing about something wonderful that otherwise would not have occurred without sin? Colton considers all these questions in this final episode. ---Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/christ--classics/support ***GlossaHouse resources are available at our website! - https://glossahouse.com/ ✏️ ***Sign up for classes with GlossaHouse U - https://glossahouse.com/pages/classes

There's more to a holistic classical education than a heady pursuit of knowledge. Education isn't just about intellectual development, it's about forming affections, emotions, intellect and spirit. Our founder Cheryl Lowe said that teachers _have failed_ if students don't *cry* when Hector is killed or when Priam begs Achilles for this body of his son. A holistic classical education exposes students to the best art, music, and literature to cultivate students' _love_ of *the true, the good, and the beautiful.* You won't want to miss this episode where the table dives into education as formation! *Let your student experience adventure, camaraderie, and valor in The Iliad!* _BUY NOW:_ https://www.memoriapress.com/curriculum/classical-studies/iliad-set-instructional-videos-streaming/?utm_source=PodBean&utm_medium=CETC&utm_campaign=112 *How do Memoria Press literature guides uniquely cultivate student formation?* _READ NOW:_ https://www.memoriapress.com/articles/the-detail-of-formation/?utm_source=PodBean&utm_medium=CETC&utm_campaign=112 *Homeschool with Memoria Press this coming school year!* _Learn how our curriculum creates a successful environment._ https://www.memoriapress.com/homeschool/?utm_source=PodBean&utm_medium=CETC&utm_campaign=112

Deacon Harrison Garlick and Adam Minihan sit down to talk about the duel between Ajax and Hector in Book 7.In this episode we will discuss:What happens in book 7?What does Nestor, the old Achaean war chief, say to Hector?The duel between Ajax and Hector.How the end of book seven introduces the reader to the importance of burying the dead.What happens in book seven?Hector and Paris lead the “rampaging Trojans” on a counteroffensive against the Achaeans (7.19). Athena goes to intervene, but Apollo convinces her to “halt the war and the heat of combat now” to presumably save the Trojans from Athena's wrath (7.34). To do this, Athena inspires Helenus, one of the fifty sons of Priam, that the gods have commanded that Hector challenge the bravest Achaean to single combat (7.58). Hector makes the challenge, and it should be noted that the victor can retain the war gear of the deceased—but the body of the loser will be given back to his people for full burial rites (7.92). Homer says a “hushed silence went through the Achaean ranks, ashamed to refuse, afraid to take his challenges” (7.106). Menelaus stands to take the challenge, but his brother, Agamemnon, talks him down—one may once again ponder whether Agamemnon cares more for his brother or cares more that Menelaus' death might demotivate the Achaeans and end the Trojan war. Nestor, the old Achaean war chief, gives an oration on how if he was younger he would best Hector and taunts his “spineless” comrades (7.183). Nine Achaeans respond to the challenge and enter a lottery to see who fate selects (7.202). Giant Ajax is selected and his heart is filled with joy (7.220). Ajax and Hector duel, and Ajax arguably has the better of Hector who must be assisted by Apollo—but the duel ends at a draw due to nightfall (7.322). Both sides then separately come to the decision that the next day should have a break in the fighting in order that the dead may be given their ritual burials (7.380, 432). The parties make an oath to this effect (7.476) and bury their dead.42. What else should we observe in book seven?We continue to track the theme of fate. Apollo speaks of the “fixed doom of Troy” (7.35), and Hector, when speaking to the Achaeans, says Zeus could give the victory to either side (7.80). It is interesting that Ajax at first wants his comrades to pray but not out loud (7.224)—presumably so their prayers are not construed as him or the Achaeans being afraid (7.226). Attention should be given to the Trojan Antenor who both declares that Troy, having broken the truce, “fight as outlaws,” and recommends they give back Helen and all her treasures (7.400). His statement on the truce to his fellow Trojans is much more direct than Hector's statement to the Achaeans blaming Zeus (7.80). Paris refuses to offer Helen but agrees to offer the treasure—it is notable that Priam, who agrees not to offer Helen, blames Paris “who caused our long hard campaign” (7.430). Compare his statement to when he told Helen it was the fault of the gods (Question 23). We should ponder to what degree these statements are contradictory to each other. Remember when messengers repeat lines, Homer uses these opportunities to add a gloss (or an omission). Here, the Trojan messenger for Priam to the Achaeans adds that he wishes Paris would have drowned (7.450) and that Helen is the “lawful wife” of Menelaus (7.452). Another insight into the Trojan view of Paris.The end of book seven should be seen as introducing the reader to the importance of burying the dead—a theme that will take on central significance in the Iliad....

Deacon Harrison Garlick and Adam Minihan sit down to talk about Hector returning to Troy.In this episode we will discuss:What happens in book six?What should be noted in the duel between Glaucus and Diomedes?What may be noted in Helen's lament to Prince Hector?What lesson does Homer provide by Hector returning to Troy?Is Homer presenting Hector as a virtuous character?Book SixHector Returns to TroyAlways be the best, my boy, the bravest, and hold your head up high above the others. Never disgrace the generation of your fathers.Hippolochus to Glaucus, his son (6.247)35. What happens in book six of the Iliad?Pressed against an Achaean advance led by Ajax and Diomedes, Hector and Aeneas receive word of an omen from Helenus, son of Priam, the seer (6.88). The Trojan army is to hold the line, while Hector is to return to Troy and direct his mother, the queen of Troy, to arrange a sacrifice to Athena—a sacrifice to entice the goddess of wisdom to pity Troy and hold back Diomedes (6.102). Hector obeys and returns to the palace of Priam—a magnificent structure that houses the fifty sons and twelve daughters of King Priam (6.291). Hector tells Hecuba, his mother and queen of Troy, to perform the sacrifice (6.318). It is notable that she is to lay before Athena the robe she personally prizes the most, which illuminates the personal sacrifice being ask of her (6.323). Hecuba obeys, but Athena refuses to listen to the Trojan prayers (6.366). It is not unremarkable that Homer immediately follows Athena's rejection with the introduction of Paris into the narrative (6.368). Hector chastises Paris—who has remained in his bedroom since his duel with Menelaus—and exhorts him to return to the war (6.383). Before returning to the war, Hector visits his wife, Andromache, and his son Scamandrius, who the Trojans affectionately call the “Lord of the City” (6.477). Hector then rendezvouses with his brother, Paris, and returns to fight the Achaeans (6.601).36. What should be noted in the duel between Glaucus and Diomedes?After we see Hector begins his return to Troy, we are introduced to the duel between Glaucus, the Trojan, and Diomedes, the Achaean (6.138). Diomedes, whom Homer gives the epithet usually reserved for Menelaus—“the lord of the war cry”—taunts his opponent but notably gives the caveat he will not fight a deathless god in disguise (6.148). He is still obedient to Athena's command to not fight the gods—save Aphrodite (5.142). At first, Glaucus provides a somewhat nihilistic response, stating, in part, “like the generations of leaves, the lives of mortal men” (6.171). He then, however, begins his lineage with Sisyphus, “the wiliest man alive,” who is a prominent figure in Greek mythology (6.180). To wit, Sisyphus had a habit of wanting to outsmart the gods, and this resulted in him being damned to Hades to roll a stone up a hill (only to have it roll back down) for all eternity. His son, Glaucus (the great-grandfather of the Glaucus dueling Diomedes) decided to habituate his horses to eating “human flesh to make them fierce in battle.” For this horrific act, the gods ensured Glaucus was tossed from his chariot and devoured by his own horses. His son Bellerophon, who may have been sired by Poseidon instead, is a classic hero in Greek mythology. The narrative of Antea being unable to seduce Bellerophon but then blaming him for lusting after her (6.188) bears many similarities with the Hebrew story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife (Gen 39:5-20). Bellerophon carries his own death sentence to Antea's father, and the...

Deacon Harrison Garlick welcomes Dr. Karl Schudt to Ascend to discuss Book 3 of the Iliad - Helen Reviews the ChampionsIn this episode Dcn. Garlick and Dr. Karl Schudt will discuss:What happens in the third book of the Iliad?What is the story of Helen and Paris?What are Trojan politics concerning Helen and Paris?What is guest-friendship?What else should be noted in book 3?Book ThreeHelen Reviews the ChampionsParis' spirit shook, backing into his friendly ranks he cringed from death…dreading Atrides—magnificent, brave Paris.Iliad 3.35, 4121. What happens in the third book of the Iliad?The Achaean and Trojan armies line up against one another, and Paris, son of Priam and brother of Hector, struts out and challenges the best of the Argives (i.e., the Achaeans) to single combat (3.21). Menelaus, King of Sparta, answers the call, and Paris, upon seeing Menelaus, “cringed from death” and hides back amongst the Trojans (3.36). Hector chastises Paris, and Paris then agrees to single combat against Menelaus (3.84). The “challenge of Paris” is issued and accepted with the terms being that Helen and her treasures go to the victor, and friendship will be sealed in blood between the Achaeans and the Trojans (3.105). King Agamemnon and King Priam seal the challenge with an oath and sacrifice to Zeus (3.129). When it is clear that Paris has lost the duel, Aphrodite swoops in and transports Paris to his “bedroom full of scent” (3.439). Aphrodite coerces Helen to go to Paris, and Helen, at the longings of Paris, makes love to him (3.460, 517). Meanwhile, Menelaus, Helen's former (or actual) husband, is outside Troy “like a wild beast,” and his brother, Agamemnon, declares Menelaus the winner (3.527, 536). Helen and her treasures should go to Menelaus and the Achaeans; friendship should be bound in blood between Troy and the ancient Greeks; and the war should be over.22. What is the story of Helen and Paris?Homer continues to unravel slowly the narratives that brought about the Trojan war. As noted above (Question 18), Menelaus was now the king of Sparta and husband to Helen, daughter of Zeus. Paris and a contingency of Trojans visited Sparta and were welcomed warmly by Menelaus. Menelaus left his guests in good care to visit Crete, and in his absence Paris absconded with Helen to Troy. Given the oath secured by King Tyndareus (Question 18), Menelaus turned to all of ancient Greece to help him return Helen to Sparta. Homer presents several references to Helen departing with Paris: Paris “carried off a woman” (3.55); why Menelaus will not trust the oaths of the princes of Troy (3.129); Helen's emotions for Menelaus, her “husband long ago” (3.169); and Paris' own account of sweeping Helen away from the “lovely hills of Lacedaemon,” i.e., ancient Sparta (3.520). Notably, Homer introduces Helen in book three weaving a “growing web, a dark red folding robe” as a clear analogue of the war (3.151).23. What are Trojan politics concerning Helen and Paris? As book one revealed the complexities of Achaean politics, so too does book three reveal the internal politics of the Trojans. In short, almost no one likes Paris. After Paris hides from Menelaus, Hector chastises him saying, among other things, that it be better if Paris had never been born (3.45), he's a “curse” to his father, and a “joy” to the enemies of Troy (3.57-8). Moreover, the people of Troy seem to want to give his new bride, Helen, back the Achaeans (3.191). Helen...

Deacon Harrison Garlick and Adam Minihan take a slow read of Book 2 of The Iliad. Adam is not sure about this book, but by the end of the discussion, Deacon Garlick has talked Adam off the ledge.Book TwoThe Great Gathering of ArmiesThe rage of kings is strong—they're nursed by the gods, their honor comes from Zeus—they're dear to Zeus, the god who rules the world.Odysseus (2.226)14. What happens in the second book of the Iliad?Having accepted the petition of Thetis, Zeus sends a “murderous dream” to Agamemnon imploring him to muster his army and attack Troy (2.07). It is notable that “Dream” is personified, as is the “Dawn,” as a goddess (2.57), and Rumor, as “Zeus' crier” (2.109). Agamemnon receives the dream and shares it with his war council (2.63). The high king or chieftain of the Greeks then elects to test his men (2.86) and tells the army Zeus commands them to return to “Argos in disgrace” (2.129). The men rush to the ships to leave (2.174), but Hera sends Athena to intervene (2.183). Athena inspires Odysseus who in turn rouses the men to stay—reminding them of Calchas' prophecy they would conquer Troy in the tenth year (2.386). Nestor, the oldest of the Achaean war lords, encourages the men to stay as well (2.398), and, notably, Agamemnon only thanks Nestor afterward (2.439). There is then a roll call of the Achaean kings (2.573). The book ends with a similar roll call for the Trojans, which serves to introduce Prince Hector, commander of the Trojans and son of Priam, King of Troy (2.927). 15. What is the relation between Zeus and the kings of men?Odysseus declares, “The rage of kings is strong, they're nursed by the gods, their honor comes from Zeus—they're dear to Zeus, the god who rules the world” (2.226). Zeus' governance of the world is, at least in part, mediated through the kings of men. Homer provides such an example by Zeus working his will by influencing the actions of Agamemnon via the dream (2.07). The episode sheds further light on the relation between the will of Zeus and the free will of man. Note also, however, that the dream is a deceit. The gods are not united and Troy is not prime to be destroyed (2.16). The Dream also takes on the voice of Nestor (2.24). It is common for the gods to present their messages through faces familiar to the recipient. In response to the dream, Agamemnon tests his men and tells them Zeus has “plotted brutal treachery” and now commands they return home (2.134). The levels of irony and of deceit are notable. As Zeus lied to Agamemnon, Agamemnon now lies to his men. Moreover, Agamemnon's lie to his men about Zeus' treachery is more true than Agamemnon realizes. 16. Why is the dream repeated three times?It is a common characteristic for messages to repeated in full within the Homeric epics. Outside the benefit this would have for a bard, it also permits Homer a subtle literary device. Though the reader may be tempted to a certain inattention by all the repetition, Homer often has retellings change, add, or omit something. These small changes can have significant plot effects. A moderate example of this exercise can be seen in the fact that Zeus does not state that he pities Agamemnon. Such a statement is a gloss provided by Dream. To the extent such a statement could be true, it is certainly not true in the way Agamemnon believes.

In this episode, poet, playwright, teacher and activist Jacqueline Saphra talks to us about the poem that has been a friend to her: 'Ceasefire' by Michael Longley.We are so grateful to Jacqueline for joining us at this time, to talk about this beautiful poem and the part it has played in her life.Jacqueline Saphra is a poet, playwright, teacher and activist. She is the author of nine plays, five chapbooks and five poetry collections. The Kitchen of Lovely Contraptions (flipped eye) was shortlisted for the Aldeburgh First Collection Prize and If I Lay on my Back I Saw Nothing But Naked Women (The Emma Press) won Best Collaborative Work at The Sabotage Awards. Recent collections from Nine Arches Press are All My Mad Mothers (shortlisted for the T.S. Eliot Prize), Dad, Remember You are Dead and One Hundred Lockdown Sonnets. Jacqueline is a founder member of Poets for the Planet and teaches at The Poetry School. Her latest collection, Velvel's Violin (Nine Arches Press, 2023) is a Poetry Book Society Recommendation.Jacqueline is in conversation with The Poetry Exchange hosts, Fiona Bennett and Michael Shaeffer.*********Ceasefireby Michael LongleyIPut in mind of his own father and moved to tearsAchilles took him by the hand and pushed the old kingGently away, but Priam curled up at his feet andWept with him until their sadness filled the building.IITaking Hector's corpse into his own hands AchillesMade sure it was washed and, for the old king's sake,Laid out in uniform, ready for Priam to carryWrapped like a present home to Troy at daybreak.IIIWhen they had eaten together, it pleased them bothTo stare at each other's beauty as lovers might,Achilles built like a god, Priam good-looking stillAnd full of conversation, who earlier had sighed:IV‘I get down on my knees and do what must be doneAnd kiss Achilles' hand, the killer of my son.'From 'Ghost Orchid' (Jonathan Cape, 1998), copyright © Michael Longley 1998. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this bedtime story, I tell you about Greek Mythology around the Trojan War, including the Iliad by Homer. We explore its storylines and numerous characters, from gods like Zeus, Athena, Apollo, Aphrodite and Hera to heroes and other mortals: Menelaus, Agamemnon, Odysseus, Achilles, Ajax, Patroclus, Hector, Priam, Paris, Aeneas, Helen of Troy, and many more. Discover how the feud between gods for Eris' golden apple spilled over to the world of men, and everything that ensued. I also tell you about the Trojan Horse, various other myths, and archaeology: when and how did Greek mythology take shape? Was Troy real? Where is the line between legend and history? Listen on Youtube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@LightsOutLibraryov⁠⁠ ¿Quieres escuchar en Español? Echa un vistazo a La Biblioteca de los Sueños! En Spotify: ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1t522alsv5RxFsAf9AmYfg⁠⁠ En Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/la-biblioteca-de-los-sue%C3%B1os-documentarios-para-dormir/id1715193755⁠⁠ En Youtube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@LaBibliotecadelosSuenosov⁠

I swear this chapter really is about more than Cassandra.   To join the discussion, visit the blog at Triumvir Clio's School of Classical Civilization.  If there's no hyperlink showing up here, you can go to triumvirclio.school.blog to find a feed of recent episodes as well as discussion pages for every episode. Join me on Patreon at www.patreon.com/triumvirclio to get early access to ad-free episodes and bonus content.    References Apollodorus. The Library. Translated by Sir James George Frazer. Loeb Classical Library Volumes 121 & 122. Cambridge, MA, Harvard University Press; London, William Heinemann Ltd. 1921. Available online at https://www.theoi.com/Text/Apollodorus1.html and http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus:text:1999.01.0022.  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bethany-banner/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bethany-banner/support

Priam and Hecuba's story continues.

Andromache appears in the university observatory to recount her tragic tale. 175 Andromache is a main-belt asteroid – not a Trojan in the L4 or L5 Lagrange points in Jupiter's orbit. But since her character is central to the Trojan war, we've included her in this special series.  Written and directed by KJ Dwyer. Edited by Bibi Jacob. With Mia Leahy as Dardana and Kate Colebrook as Petra. Original violin and vocal compositions written and performed by Chloe Dunn. Sound and production by Geoff Chong. Recorded at the SACD studios, Paris. You can listen to more of Chloe Dunn's beautiful music, on becaflor.com / Bècaflor Teaser

It's here: our last episode on the Iliad! Achilles continues to mourn Patroclus, and to try to disfigure Hector's body. After days of this, Apollo intervenes, and the gods help Priam to retrieve his son's body from Achilles' tent. Brian, Shilo, and Jeff consider Achilles' "foreign policy" in his dealings with Priam, and the meaning of Homer's epic as a whole. Does the end of the Iliad portray a decline to a world run by liars and dancers, or an ascent to an almost joyful tragic insight into human power? In the final analysis, is it better to be a human being than to be a god? Do we need to read the Odyssey together to answer these questions? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brian-wilson5/support

We're back, with our preantepenultimate episode on the Iliad! In Book 21, we get into the action. Achilles kills so many Trojans that the river Scamander protests the mess he is making. So Achilles fights the river, and nearly dies. Then there is a war between the gods; they lay it on without restraint. Meanwhile, Achilles kills two of Priam's sons, as he watches. And the Trojans are driven back into the gates of Troy. Join Brian, Shilo, and Jeff as they talk about what it might look like to fight a river, and wonder why Achilles cares about how his body looks after he dies. Is Achilles driven by justice in this book, or the noble, or both? Is excellence more visible in a contest between equals, or between unequals? And does Zeus enjoy the suffering of the gods because it makes them better? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brian-wilson5/support

In this special series, Tales of the NIght Sky takes you into the heart of a large group of asteroids that orbit with Jupiter around the sun. These two camps of heavenly bodies - the Greeks leading and the Trojans trailing Jupiter  - are known as the Trojan asteroids. Each identified asteroid is named after a protagonist in Homer's Iliad. And these characters find themselves locked in orbit, endlessly reliving the trauma of war. This original series was co-created with KJ Dwyer and features collaborations with several writers.  With thanks to Chris Mack for the unique concept, sparked off in our writers group. In the first of the Trojans, the seer Aisakos interprets Queen Hecuba's dream. Starring Ciaran Cresswell. Written and directed by Bibi Jacob. Introduction written by KJ Dywer and Bibi Jacob. Sound and production by Geoff Chong. Useful sources for this episode: theoi.com , spannycattroy.livejournal.com

In this episode, Alissa Rubin reads an excerpt from the ancient Greek epic The Iliad. Rubin is a Senior International Correspondent for The New York Times. She worked previously as the Bureau Chief in Baghdad, Paris, and Kabul. In 2016, she was awarded the Pulitzer Prize in International Reporting for "thoroughly reported and movingly written accounts giving voice to Afghan women who were forced to endure unspeakable cruelties." The passage that Rubin selected is from the very last book of The Iliad, and portrays an encounter between the Trojan King Priam and the Greek warrior Achilles. If you're unfamiliar with the story, all you really need to know — for our purposes — is that Priam's son killed Achilles' best friend in combat, and Achilles then killed Priam's son in retribution. At the point where we meet them, Achilles has been dragging the body of his slain enemy behind his chariot for twelve days, and Priam has come in person to his enemy's encampment to plead for the return of his son's body.  The Iliad by Homer, translated by Robert Fagles, is published by Penguin Random House. Alissa Rubin's reporting – including her recent must-read coverage on climate change in the Middle East – is available to subscribers of The New York Times. We feature one short listener poem at the end of every episode. To submit, call the Haiku Hotline at 612-440-0643 and read your poem after the beep. For the occasional prompt, follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Subscribe on RadioPublic, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.