An Evolving Man Podcast

In this episode, Piers Cross explores the psychological impact of a child's first night at boarding school and why it often becomes a lifelong emotional imprint.Drawing on accounts from Richard Branson, Sebastian Faulks, and Peter Sykes, we examine what happens when children are separated from their families at a young age. Many remember intense fear, others remember nothing at all — a sign of dissociation.Psychotherapist Joy Schaverien describes this moment as a “threshold experience.” It is not simple homesickness. It is a sudden loss of attachment figures, familiarity, identity, and safety.This episode discusses: • separation and attachment • dissociation in childhood • why some memories are vivid and others blank • adult relationship difficulties • emotional disconnection in high achieversMany adults who attended boarding school later become capable, resilient, and successful — yet struggle with intimacy, vulnerability, and feeling truly at home.Understanding the beginning helps explain the adult patterns.Website: https://compassionateleadersglobal.com Podcast: An Evolving Man--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

 In this episode, Piers Cross is joined by Jane Barclay, a humanistic psychology practitioner, UKCP-accredited, and a member of the BACP.Jane shares her journey into counselling and trauma work — beginning with a major life move, a profound sense of disorientation, and what she later recognised as a traumatic reaction to separation. Her story moves into the heart of boarding school experience: early attachment rupture, lack of privacy, “settling in” as dissociation, and the survival strategies that can last for decades.Together, Piers and Jane explore how trauma can speak through the body, why “it could have been worse” is such a seductive defence, and why healing often requires both trustworthy relationship and the repair of community. Jane also shares her late-blooming creativity — writing songs, developing a children's musical, and using rhythm and story to support safeguarding, truth-telling, and the restoration of the heart.Guest: Jane Barclay Website: http://jbcounselling.co.uk/Key themes: Attachment and early separation • Boarding school trauma • Somatic trauma • Dissociation and the “carapace” • Trust and relational repair • Community as healing • Eldership • Creativity and rhythm as medicine--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

Many leaders and high performers live as if they are unable to stop.In this episode, Piers Cross explores the long-term psychological effects of boarding school timetabling and how it conditions the nervous system to equate busyness with safety.Children raised in highly structured environments learn to stay constantly active. Stillness becomes uncomfortable — even threatening. As adults this often becomes overwork, productivity addiction, relationship difficulty, and eventually burnout.Drawing on the work of psychotherapist Nick Duffell, performance science, and emotional intelligence leadership, Piers explains why former boarders — and many driven professionals — feel trapped in a cycle of constant doing.This episode covers: • timetabling and psychological conditioning • why rest triggers anxiety • burnout in leaders and executives • the nervous system and safety • a simple visualisation exercise to retrain the bodyThe goal isn't to stop achieving.It's to learn when to step off the train.Website: https://compassionateleadersglobal.com Podcast: An Evolving Man--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

 What does boarding school shame do to a child's nervous system — especially when it's wrapped in privilege, silence, and “you should be grateful”? In this episode of An Evolving Man, I'm joined by Jessica Boston — trauma-informed transformation coach and creator of The Homecoming Method (a somatic approach integrating subconscious reprogramming, nervous-system safety, and reparenting). Together we explore how shame forms in boarding school environments through: 

One year on from my wife, Michelle's death.What are some reflections? What are 3 things that have really helped me?Here is the interview with her: https://youtu.be/fKs1A_4xw7ATake care,Piers--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In this episode of An Evolving Man, I'm joined by Dr. Amy Albright, an expert in human potential who bridges neuroscience, health, business strategy, and spirituality with rare depth and academic rigour.We go deep into a theme that affects so many leaders — especially those shaped by early separation, boarding school, adoption, or childhood trauma: safety.Amy explains why safety is not a motivational slogan. It's a measurable state in the nervous system. When safety is missing, we overthink, disconnect from emotion, struggle with intimacy and leadership, and often reach for relief through work, alcohol, or constant striving. When safety is restored, intuition returns, relationships improve, and performance becomes far more sustainable.This is a powerful, practical conversation about rebuilding biological safety, restoring embodiment, and integrating science with the sacred without drifting into pseudoscience.We discuss:Why safety is a continuum, not a single achievementThe leadership cost of chronic fight/flight and emotional shutdownTrauma patterns behind addiction (including workaholism)Nature and water as nervous-system regulatorsWhy meditation can feel hard after trauma (and what helps)Embodiment, intuition, and the intelligence of the bodyA larger frame: meaning, miracles, and living in a “friendly universe”Find Dr. Amy's work and resources at: holonexperience.com (Free download mentioned in the episode is available there.)--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

What happens to a child's nervous system when safety is missing — not for a moment, but for years?In this episode, Piers reflects on safety and boarding school, exploring how chronic fear, hypervigilance, and emotional suppression shape the adult nervous system long after school ends.Drawing from lived experience, trauma psychology, and insights from neuroscientist Dr. Amy Albright, this conversation looks at: • Why many ex-boarders struggle to relax • How survival personalities form in unsafe environments • The link between safety, digestion, and emotional regulation • Why dissociation becomes a learned survival strategy • How healing begins by restoring safety in the bodyThe episode also offers simple, accessible practices to help calm the nervous system and reconnect with embodied safety — including memory, posture, breath, and imagination.This is a compassionate, non-blaming exploration for anyone who grew up in boarding school and still feels guarded, tense, or disconnected.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In this episode of An Evolving Man, I'm joined by Masati, CEO and founder of Exponential Intelligence Science (XI). After multiple near-death experiences, Masati devoted his life to understanding human potential beyond conventional performance psychology—exploring coherence, consciousness, and what creates real, measurable change.We begin with Masati's personal story: a life-threatening accident in his mid-20s, the profound “life relive” experience many describe as a life review, and what shifted in his perception when he returned. We then explore why many high performers—particularly those with childhood trauma—build success through a hidden internal equation: using achievement to stabilise an inner wound.This is a wide-ranging conversation on leadership, trauma, identity, and presence—including a practical exercise to reconnect with the body and reduce overthinking.Topics include:Near-death experiences and expanded perceptionTrauma, success, and the hidden cost of “proving yourself”Why performance doesn't heal the original woundCoherence vs. mindsetSpatial referencing as a daily stabilising practicePresence, happiness, and aligning with your highest potentialIf you're a leader, ex-boarder, or high performer exploring deeper healing and sustainable success, this one is for you.#NearDeathExperience#TraumaHealing#HumanPotential#Consciousness#NervousSystem#Leadership#Meditation#SomaticHealing For more information please visit: https://thexicode.com/ --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

Why do so many ex-boarders struggle with decision-making — especially in senior leadership, relationships, and life?In this reflective solo episode, I explore how boarding school conditioning shapes our ability to think independently, trust intuition, and make decisions without fear of rejection or punishment.Drawing on the work of Nick Duffell, I unpack the three core survival patterns often seen in ex-boarders — the Complier, the Rebel, and the Crushed — and how each one impacts confidence, intuition, and leadership.We explore:Why decision-making feels easier in middle management but overwhelming at the topHow humiliation, conformity, and peer policing suppress independent thoughtWhy intuition is essential for good decisions — and how boarding school disconnects us from itThe role of dissociation, overthinking, and perfectionismHow to rebuild embodied decision-making through nervous system awarenessReferencing insights from Jim Collins, Antonio Damasio, and Alex Ferguson, this episode brings together leadership research, neuroscience, and lived experience.Decision-making isn't just cognitive. It's emotional, embodied, and relational.If you grew up being told what to think, when to act, and how to fit in — this episode is an invitation to reconnect with your inner authority and begin deciding from a place of self-trust.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In this powerful episode of An Evolving Man, Piers Cross speaks with Jon Wedger (also widely known as John Wedger) — former Metropolitan Police detective and leading UK whistleblower on institutional child sexual abuse and safeguarding failures.Jon shares what he witnessed while working in specialist units, including child protection, and why he believes abuse is too often protected by silence, status, and institutional self-preservation. He reflects on the cost of speaking out, the long shadow trauma casts over survivors' lives, and the urgent need for accountability that leads to real-world change.This conversation is released ahead of the House of Commons screening on Monday 19 January 2026, focused on mandatory reporting and stronger child protection structures.Content note: This episode discusses child sexual abuse and institutional failures. Please listen with care.Key themes:How systems of silence form inside institutionsWhy justice is central to healing for survivorsTrauma, dissociation, emotional dysregulation, and survival adaptationsWhat reform could actually look like: accountability, transparency, and effective safeguardingPractical steps: reporting, recording, contacting MPs, and applying pressure for changeTo explore Jon's public work, visit: https://www.jonwedger.org/--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In this short reflection recorded outside the House of Commons, Piers Cross shares a deeply personal moment before screening a documentary on institutional harm and child protection.He explores:The fear of speaking upHow trauma can wire us to avoid, hide, or runThe shift from threat response to challenge responseWhy embracing discomfort can improve performance, resilience, and even longevityReferencing research by Elizabeth Blackburn and Kelly McGonigal, this episode is a reminder that meaningful change often begins at the edge of fear — when we choose to stay, speak, and move forward anyway.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In this episode of An Evolving Man, Piers speaks with Kara Blackmore — a trauma-informed coach specialising in the long-term emotional and nervous system impacts of boarding school experiences, especially for women.Kara shares her personal story: choosing boarding school at age 10, the shock of early separation, and the reality of living in an environment with minimal adult supervision, rigid control, and peer-led power dynamics. Together, Piers and Kara explore how emotional neglect and chronic stress can shape adulthood — from hyper-independence and people-pleasing to perfectionism, difficulty resting, and challenges with intimacy, trust, and receiving support.This conversation is honest, powerful, and at times harrowing — but it also offers hope. Kara speaks about the healing journey: awareness, learning emotional language, inner child work, nervous system safety, and building a life that makes your “soul sing.”Key themes include:“I chose to go” and why childhood “choice” isn't true consentemotional neglect, lack of nurturing, and chronic lonelinesspuberty, privacy, and missing maternal supportperfectionism/control as a survival strategywhy ex-boarders struggle to rest, receive, and ask for helphealing through awareness, compassion, and nervous system repairFind Kara: https://karablackmorecoach.com/https://www.facebook.com/kara.thompson.589https://www.instagram.com/kara__blackmore_coach/ If you found this episode meaningful, please share it — these stories stay hidden for decades, and speaking them is how change happens.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In this episode, Piers explores the concept of moral injury and asks whether boarding school environments can create a deep, values-based psychological wound in children.Moral injury occurs when someone is forced to act against, witness, or remain silent in the face of behaviour that violates their inner moral values. Unlike PTSD, which is fear-based, moral injury is rooted in guilt, shame, loss of integrity, and betrayal of self.Drawing on lived experience, survivor stories, and trauma-informed perspectives, this episode explores how institutional environments override a child's moral compass — forcing silence, complicity, and self-betrayal as survival strategies.Topics include:Moral injury vs PTSDBoarding school as an ethical conflict for childrenWitnessing abuse and being unable to interveneDissociation and loss of authenticityLong-term impacts on mental health, leadership, and relationshipsPathways to healing through truth-telling, moral coherence, and self-compassionThis episode is especially relevant for former boarders, educators, clinicians, leaders, and anyone interested in trauma-informed leadership and child protection.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

Here is the link to reach out to your MP for the screening in the House of Commons: https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/In this New Year reflection episode, I share an update on the upcoming House of Commons screening of Boarding on Insanity and explore a powerful insight that emerged for me over Christmas while watching the Ashes series.Why does England's cricket team — full of talent — so often struggle under pressure?Drawing on research from the Sutton Trust, Nick Duffell's Wounded Leaders, and trauma experts including Judith Herman, Peter Levine, and Bessel van der Kolk, I explore how early boarding school experiences shape the nervous system — particularly our ability to regulate stress.We discuss:why many former boarders struggle to access the parasympathetic “rest and digest” statehow dissociation works under pressure — and why it eventually failswhy England's performance improved once the pressure of winning was removedhow unresolved childhood stress shows up in leadership, sport, and public lifeI also share a simple nervous system regulation practice I use personally and with clients — helping leaders move from chronic stress into safety, embodiment, and clarity.This episode connects leadership, sport, trauma, and child development — and asks what might be possible if we became a trauma-informed society.

This week I rewatched Home Alone — and realised it can be viewed as a surprisingly powerful study of child development, attachment, and the psychology of separation.Kevin is eight years old — an age that matters deeply in the UK context, because it has historically been an age when many children began boarding school. In this short reflection, I explore key moments in the film through a boarding-school lens, drawing on the work of Joy Schaverien and Nick Duffell.We reflect on:why “not knowing the basics” at eight is development — not failurethe confusion children experience when we warn them about strangers, then send them to live with strangersthe mother's panic response and what it reveals about attachmentrupture and repair — and why apology matterswhy many ex-boarders don't tell their parents what really happenedA gentle, thoughtful Christmas reflection — and a question for all of us: What kind of childhood are we protecting… and what kind are we cutting short?--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In this reflective episode, Piers Cross explores boarding school, the mother wound, and the lasting impact of early separation from parents — particularly as Christmas approaches.Inspired by a powerful public conversation between Amelia White and her mother, Piers reflects on how boarding school disrupts natural attachment, prevents rupture and repair, and often leaves relationships with parents — especially mothers — emotionally distant.Drawing on personal experience, clinical insight, and the work of Nick Duffell, Joy Schaverien, Suzanne Zeedyk, and Alex Renton, this episode explores why so many former boarders live far from home, struggle to trust caregivers, and carry grief that is rarely named.This is a compassionate, trauma-informed exploration of loss, responsibility, listening, and healing — and an invitation to reflect more deeply during the holiday season.For the conversation between Amelia and her mother: https://youtu.be/ZofjtmiMidw?si=uyEKeRDT-WrAUQj- --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

 For the article in the Telegraph: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/education-and-careers/2025/12/03/working-at-a-boarding-school-is-like-being-in-a-cult/ And for the letter to write to your MP: https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/ In this short solo episode, I share an update and a heartfelt thank you.On 19th January 2026, we'll be hosting a special screening of our documentary Boarding on Insanity inside the House of Commons. We're inviting MPs, charity leaders and the media to confront an uncomfortable truth:In England and Wales, it is still not a criminal offence for professionals in regulated roles to fail to report known or suspected child sexual abuse.In this episode I talk about:Why this screening matters so muchThe urgent need for effective mandatory reportingWhy a dedicated Child Protection Agency is essentialHow institutions often close ranks and punish whistleblowersWhat you can do today to help protect children

In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast (AEM #146), I speak with Ian Keys, an ex-boarder, youth worker and newly qualified counsellor, about what really happens when neurodiverse children move through a schooling system that doesn't understand them.Ian started boarding school at 11 and left with no qualifications, convinced he was “thick”. Decades later, after working with excluded teenagers, forest school groups, neurodivergent young people and national-level athletes, he began to see the truth: the problem was never his intelligence – it was the environment.Together we explore:How dyslexia and neurodiversity show up in the classroom – and how easily they are misreadBoarding school syndrome, dissociation and the survival strategies children developThe idea of Adverse School Experiences (ASEs) and how they sit alongside ACEsShaming practices (like “being sent to Coventry”) and their long-term impact on self-worthWhat Scandinavian education offers as a different model: attachment, play, nature and trustPractical ways adults can begin to heal and “rewrite the story” after harmful schoolingThis episode is for ex-boarders, neurodivergent adults, therapists, teachers, parents – and anyone who suspects that school left deeper marks than they realised.

Are boarding schools reaching the end of the road?To contact your MP to get them to attend the House of Commons screening please visit here: https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/ In today's episode, I reflect on last week's conference honouring Dr Joy Schaverien and share surprising insights from conversations with people working inside the current boarding school system. Many schools appear to be moving into survival mode — and the strategies they're using may be accelerating their decline.We look at:• Why prep schools are being pushed back into the pipeline • How trauma patterns influence leadership decisions • Why emotional intelligence is the future of education • What AI, neuroscience and attachment theory reveal about outdated schooling models • The growing national movement calling for child safety and systemic reformWith a major screening of Boarding on Insanity inside the Houses of Parliament this January, momentum is shifting fast. The next decade may bring profound change to how we educate and protect children.If this episode resonates, please share it — and consider writing to your MP using the link in the show notes. Change happens when we act together.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In this episode, I share reflections on the upcoming event The Silent Damage of Boarding School — a special day honouring the life and work of Dr Joy Schaverien, whose research into Boarding School Syndrome has transformed the field of trauma and psychotherapy.I walk through what the event includes, who will be speaking, and why Joy's contributions continue to be so influential across psychology, counselling, and survivor communities.The online version of the event still has tickets available.Featuring speakers: Helen Odell-Miller, Alex Renton, Graham Music, and Zachary Fair — plus the premiere of a new 25-minute film from my interview with Joy.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

For the link to Nicky Moxey and Dr Linda Devereux's book Worlds Away From Home:  https://amzn.eu/d/9sE6I0jFear is one of the most overlooked experiences in boarding school life. In this episode, Piers reflects on his own memories of fear and explores why so many ex-boarders still carry hypervigilance and survival patterns into adulthood. Drawing on research from Suzanne Zeedyk, Nick Duffell and Emma Seppälä, along with real stories from former boarders, Piers explains how fear shapes the nervous system — and how we can begin to heal. A compassionate, grounded discussion for anyone exploring boarding school syndrome or emotional recovery. --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In this transformative conversation, Piers Cross speaks with Corey Corpodian — author, orthodontist, and host of the Unleash Success Podcast — about how to master your emotions, build resilience, and lead with authenticity.After achieving every external marker of success, Corey found himself deeply unfulfilled. A life-changing health scare set him on a new path toward emotional fitness — a discipline of daily exercises that rewire the brain and strengthen mental and emotional resilience.Together, they discuss:How to transform emotional pain into purposeWhy EQ can be trained and strengthened over timeThe link between leadership, vulnerability, and emotional fitnessTools for reconnecting with your emotions after trauma or disconnectionHow to develop a growth mindset through consistent awareness and reflectionA conversation filled with science, story, and wisdom — for anyone ready to move beyond emotional survival and into emotional mastery.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

What do AI, neuroscience, and boarding schools have in common?In this reflective solo episode, Piers Cross explores how artificial intelligence mirrors the left-brain dominance of elite education — and why the real revolution ahead is emotional, not technological.Drawing on thinkers like Arthur Brooks, Daniel Goleman, and Nick Duffell, Piers unpacks why empathy, adaptability, and emotional intelligence are the skills that will define successful leaders in an AI-driven world.If you've ever wondered how education, trauma, and technology intersect, this episode offers a fresh, compassionate lens on the future of humanity.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

 Some reflections about last Saturday's Boarding School Concern conference.What an amazing, heart-felt day. I felt very blessed to be there. A big thank you to all the organisers and volunteers and all the participants for attending. It was lovely to meet so many of you. I talk a little about dissociation which is what happened during my talk. To learn more about the BS Concern's work please visit: https://boardingschoolconcern.uk/ And Seen and Heard: https://seenheard.org.uk/ Take care, Piers --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Sarah Jane Perrett, an intuitive happiness coach and energy practitioner who helps people release emotional baggage, reconnect with their intuition, and rediscover joy.Sarah shares her extraordinary journey from post-natal depression and breakdown to a profound spiritual awakening in 2013 — and how this experience led her to the transformative work she does today. We discuss the science and spirituality of emotional healing, from HeartMath research to the Emotion Code and neuroplasticity, and explore how to shift from survival mode to emotional freedom.A deep, heartfelt conversation on the courage to feel, the wisdom of the body, and the rediscovery of love, peace, and self-trust.

The Boarding School Survivors Conference 2025 (formerly Boarding School Concern) takes place on 1st November in London (Euston). I'll be speaking and showing our documentary Boarding on Insanity with a live Q&A.Speakers include Dr Suzanne Zeedyk, Dr Linda Devereux, Nicky Moxey, and Nick Duffell, among others. It's an extraordinary event for anyone exploring the long-term impacts of early separation, boarding school syndrome, and healing through community and understanding.

In this episode, I reflect on letter writing at boarding school — and what those censored, monitored, or ignored letters reveal about the emotional isolation many children experienced.Drawing on the writings of Nick Duffell, Jeremy Paxman, and Karen Wilson, as well as my own childhood letters from the 1980s, I explore how boarding schools conditioned children to hide their real feelings.This conversation touches on censorship, shame, and the lifelong habit of self-silencing — but also offers hope for healing and reconnection.A heartfelt invitation to reflect on your own story and the power of reclaiming your true voice.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In episode #143 of An Evolving Man, I'm joined by Karen Wilson, author of Atrocious Behavior.Karen was sent to boarding school at just seven years old and expelled by ten. Her memoir captures the harsh reality of punishment, isolation, and shame — and her later discovery of healing through theatre, teaching, and reflection.We explore how trauma lives on in the body, how neglect shapes the nervous system, and what it means to reclaim compassion after early betrayal.This is a powerful conversation about survival, courage, and finding meaning beyond suffering. 

What happens when a generation of children are raised to fear softness, sensitivity, and touch?In this solo reflection, I look at the unspoken culture of homophobia and repression in boarding schools — where words like “you're gay” became weapons of humiliation. Drawing from Boarding School Syndrome by Joy Schaverien, Trauma, Abandonment & Privilege by Nick Duffell, and reflections from Stephen Fry, I explore how this culture shaped our sense of identity, sexuality, and emotional expression.This conversation isn't about sexuality alone — it's about how we learned to disconnect from the lover within and how healing means bringing that energy back to life.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

What happens when the patterns of boarding school shape the boardroom?In this episode, I speak with Collette Easton — former CEO, executive coach, and author of Manager. Collette shares her journey from boarding school and the RAF, to building digital businesses, and now helping leaders overcome toxic patterns that hold them back.We discuss:The impact of boarding school on leadership stylesWhy some CEOs unconsciously recreate authoritarian environmentsThe difference between “managing” and leading with compassionHow psychological safety and EQ fuel business growthPractical steps to shift out of stress, defensiveness, and finger-pointingIf you've ever wondered why so many leaders struggle with empathy — or how to build healthier organizations — this conversation will give you tools, hope, and fresh perspective.

Do boarding schools create fixed mindset thinkers or growth mindset leaders? In this episode, I explore Carol Dweck's research on Mindset and connect it with my experiences — and those of many clients — who came through the boarding school system.We unpack the core differences between fixed and growth mindsets, look at how school culture fosters one or the other, and explore practical ways to shift into growth. From Usain Bolt's relentless training to Angela Merkel's willingness to admit mistakes, we see that effort and resilience — not innate talent — drive true success.Join me as I share insights, stories, and reflections on how mindset impacts leadership, healing, and the way we live.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In episode 141 of An Evolving Man Podcast, I'm joined by Anthony Abbagnano, founder of Alchemy of Breath.Anthony shares his deeply personal story of childhood trauma, boarding school experiences, and how an encounter with breathwork as a child shaped the course of his life. Today, he's one of the world's leading voices in conscious breathwork, with facilitators trained in more than 70 countries.We dive into:Breath as a tool for healing trauma and reclaiming choiceMasculinity, chaos, and how men can step into authentic leadershipSimple practices like coherence breathing to restore calm and resilienceThe link between breath, spirituality, and transformationWhy acts of kindness and presence can change the worldThis conversation is both moving and practical — a reminder that healing is possible, and the breath is always available to guide us home.

In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I share reflections on the power of breathwork and how it helps us heal from trauma.Drawing on insights from my recent interview with Anthony Abbagnano (founder of Alchemy of Breath), as well as the work of Bessel van der Kolk and Emma Seppälä, I explore:Why trauma often causes us to hold or restrict the breathHow different breathing patterns affect emotions like calm, stress, or angerThe practice of coherence breathing (5 in, 5 out) for daily regulationPersonal experiences of using breath to move out of fight-or-flight statesWhy nasal breathing is key for nervous system balanceBreath is always available to us. With awareness and practice, it becomes a rapid pathway to restore calm, regulate emotions, and reconnect with ourselves.

In this episode, I sit down with Kalyani Pardeshi, award-winning author, TEDx speaker, and anti-bullying advocate. Kalyani draws from her own boarding school experiences and her years of work with children, adults, and organisations to explain why traditional anti-bullying strategies often fail — and how the unconscious brain holds the key to real change.We explore the painful reality of bullying, the long-term effects of self-bullying and overachievement, and how these patterns often lead to burnout. Kalyani also shares her framework for identifying intangible drivers — the unique motivators that help us live with greater fulfilment and emotional resilience.This is an episode full of honesty, practical tools, and hope for those looking to break free from old wounds and the inner critic.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

 For the interview with Kalyani Pardeshi: https://youtu.be/iBXcs5i4zyg For the interview with Nicky Moxey and Dr Linda Devereux: https://youtu.be/oJNHoex41-Q For the interview with Sara Warner and Karen Macmillan:https://youtu.be/VXAHJucCGsY For the interview with Amelia White: https://youtu.be/08WbNwen_SA For the interview with Joanna Brittan: https://youtu.be/MJknonuf4Sw For Karen Wilson's book: https://amzn.eu/d/9Z4gqUv In this solo reflection, I look at the distinct experiences of girls at boarding school and how they differ from boys'. Drawing on survivor interviews and books such as Stolen Childhood by Karen Wilson, I explore how discipline, shame, and control were used to mould girls into compliant “ladies,” while boys were prepared for leadership.We discuss:Bullying and shaming rituals used against girlsThe policing of uniforms, bodies, and foodThe absence of role models during puberty and adolescenceLong-term impacts on identity, confidence, and relationshipsSurvival strategies of girls vs boysWhy survivors' stories — from Kate Middleton's Down House days to modern accounts — still matter todayThis episode is both a witness and a call: to keep these conversations alive, to challenge the culture of silence, and to acknowledge the wounds still carried by so many women.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In this episode of An Evolving Man, I speak with Françoise Elvin, counsellor, mentor, facilitator, and author of Uneldered. We discuss:Secure vs insecure attachment — and how it shapes our adult livesTrauma as “undigested experience” and the importance of integrationWhy elders and initiatory practices are vital for healthy societiesThe balance of masculine (yang) and feminine (yin) initiationHer upcoming project: the Sovereignty SchoolThe role of nature, meditation, and presence in healingFrançoise shares her journey from Zen practice in her 20s to her current work in counselling and mentoring, offering wisdom on how to move from fragmentation into wholeness.

In this solo episode, I explore one of the deepest wounds many ex-boarders carry: “I'm not good enough.”We look at:Why this belief develops in boarding school environmentsThe double bind that places blame inward on the childHow it manifests later in life as burnout, addiction, or perfectionismThe role of attachment in buffering or amplifying traumaPractical ways to reframe self-talk, celebrate achievements, and parent ourselvesIf you've ever felt like you're not enough — or noticed this pattern in leaders, colleagues, or loved ones — this episode offers insights and practices to shift from self-criticism to self-compassion.✨ New episodes every week on psychology, child development, and boarding school syndrome.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In this episode, I sit down with Paul Sunderland, an internationally respected addiction specialist and trainer. With decades of clinical experience on both sides of the Atlantic, Paul has become a leading voice on the often-hidden connection between complex PTSD, adoption, boarding school trauma, and addiction.We explore:Paul's personal story of addiction and recovery.Why early separation wounds are disguised traumas that shape lifelong patterns.The link between complex PTSD and addiction as an adaptive response.Why boarding school syndrome should be understood as a form of complex PTSD.Pathways to healing — from psychoeducation to co-regulation and trauma therapies.Paul's work is a reminder that beneath the pain of addiction often lies unacknowledged trauma — and that recovery is not about fixing overnight, but about finding safety, connection, and growth.---Paul Sunderland is a renowned addiction specialist, consultant and trainer.With over 35 years of experience, Paul's ground-breaking work has especially illuminated the deep and often-overlooked links between adoption, trauma, and addictions. His powerful presentations available on YouTube have resonated with thousands around the world.Questions for Paul:How did you get into the work you now do?Could you please talk me through Complex PTSD – what is it and how does it differ from PTSD?Could you please talk about addictions. Why is addiction an adaptive response to complex PTSD?How do addictions migrate?Could you please speak to the disguised trauma of early boarders?Could you also please speak to how adoptees are over represented in addiction treatment?What are some of the techniques that you use for helping people recover from complex PTSD and addictions?Could please speak to how mental and emotional health are relational?How do people find out more about your work?For Paul's TED X talk: https://youtu.be/liCfwTFUYNw?si=uYDWXQrO077TTVh7--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

I spoke with addiction specialist Paul Sunderland on Monday: https://youtu.be/a7tBz4adgGo In the conversation he spoke about addictions and why early boarders and adoptees are over represented in addiction treatment and recovery. He calls these traumas "disguised" in the way that they are seen as lucky. I also talk about how Paul refers to the equation: Stress - Without Attachment = Trauma.I explore how boarding school breaks attachment and is essentially "Without Attachment".Any questions please do let me know, Take care, Piers --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

Should Prince George follow his father to Eton College — or his mother to Marlborough College? Or should he avoid boarding altogether?In this episode, I explore the debate currently surrounding Prince William and Kate Middleton's choice of school for their son, who has just turned 12. Drawing on stories from both Eton and Marlborough, as well as insights from neuroscience and decades of research into “boarding school syndrome,” I share why this decision carries far more weight than simply prestige or tradition.In this video, I cover:Kate Middleton's difficult start at Down House and later move to MarlboroughPrince William's experience at Eton, and Harry's reflections in SpareAccounts of bullying, abuse, and emotional neglect from alumni of both schoolsWhy children under 16 should not board, based on attachment science and trauma researchFive neuroscience-backed reasons why boarding undermines leadership developmentWhy day schools close to home may provide healthier foundations for Prince GeorgeAs the next generation of leaders emerges, emotional intelligence, relationships, and secure attachments matter more than privilege or tradition.

What role can plant medicines play in deep trauma healing?In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Richard Grossman — acupuncturist, healer, and long-time student of Amazonian plant medicine traditions. We explore his decades of work at the intersection of Eastern medicine, shamanic healing, and trauma recovery.Dr. Grossman shares his experiences studying with indigenous teachers in Peru, working with ayahuasca, and guiding people through profound emotional and spiritual transformation. We also explore the importance of preparation, integration, and respect when engaging with sacred plants.In this conversation, we discuss:How Dr. Grossman moved from Western medical training to holistic healingThe healing potential of ayahuasca and other plant medicinesWhy integration is just as important as the ceremony itselfThe relationship between trauma and spiritual awakeningLessons learned from decades of working with indigenous healersNavigating the risks, challenges, and misconceptions about plant medicineThis is a deep, nuanced look at how plant medicines can support emotional and spiritual growth — and why they're not a shortcut, but a doorway into deeper work.

In this episode, I reflect on the changing face of leadership. For generations, leaders operated in a command-and-control style—authoritarian, hierarchical, and often ruthless. But today, we're seeing a shift toward emotionally and spiritually intelligent leadership, grounded in compassion, care, and trust.I draw on insights from books and leaders including Admiral Mike Manazir, Simon Sinek, Richard Branson, John C. Maxwell, and The Leadership Challenge, to explore:Why authoritarian leadership is breaking downHow compassion and psychological safety drive innovation and loyaltyThe difference between creating followers and multiplying leadersWhy love may be the most powerful and lasting secret of effective leadershipLeadership is evolving—and this conversation is an invitation to rethink how we lead, how we inspire, and how we leave a legacy.✨ Connect with me to learn more about The Compassionate Leaders Pathway, starting this September.--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In this deeply moving and vital episode of The Evolving Man Podcast, I sit down with Neil Harding — survivor, advocate, and whistleblower — to speak honestly and bravely about the widespread child sexual abuse that took place at Dilworth School in New Zealand.Neil was a full-time boarder from the age of 9. For decades, he held onto the trauma he experienced there, until the day came when he could stay silent no longer.What follows is a raw and powerful conversation about trauma, grooming, institutional betrayal, and the long path to healing. Neil shares his story not for sympathy, but to shine a light on a culture of secrecy and enablement — and to support other survivors who still feel voiceless.We also explore how Neil reclaimed his voice, how he moved through shame, and the personal toll of standing up to institutions that failed him and many others.This episode is for every survivor. And for every person ready to truly listen.In this episode, we discuss:Neil's early experiences at Dilworth SchoolGrooming, silence, and the mechanisms of institutional abuseThe long-term impacts of sexual traumaShame, addiction, and the search for safetySpeaking out in adulthood and confronting the systemWhat survivors need — and rarely get — from societyHow community, therapy, and visibility support healing

What happens when your parents — not you — went to boarding school? How might their experiences shape your childhood, and the adult you become?In this reflective episode, I explore the hidden ways parental boarding school experiences can ripple through generations. Drawing on personal stories, research, and dozens of podcast interviews, I share how traits like emotional distance, overwork, and repression can often be traced back to the complex trauma of boarding school.We discuss:The symptoms of Boarding School Syndrome in parentsHow these patterns affect family relationshipsWhy your parents might say they “loved it” — and what's really underneathThe power of asking open, curious questions about their school experienceHow understanding their story can soften your heart and open the door to healingThis episode invites you to look at your own family history with fresh eyes. You may discover that your parents' struggles were never about you — they were the echoes of an education system built on separation, survival, and silence.Resources mentioned:Boarding on Insanity documentaryPodcast interviews with Joy Schaverien, Alex Renton, and Nick DuffellDr. Gabor Maté on developmental trauma

In this powerful episode of The Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Professor Dr. Paul Miller — consultant psychiatrist, EMDR trainer, and pioneer in the use of psychedelic-assisted therapy for trauma.We explore Dr. Miller's remarkable journey through psychiatry, from the early days of surgical training to becoming a leading voice in trauma-informed care. He shares eye-opening insights into how trauma shapes the brain, why traditional psychiatric models often fall short, and how EMDR and psychedelics are offering new hope for people with PTSD, complex trauma, and even schizophrenia.Dr. Miller also opens up about his own lived experience — of loss, betrayal, and healing — and why he believes authentic therapeutic relationships and community are at the heart of recovery.In this episode, we cover:Dr. Miller's path from surgery to psychiatryThe limitations of purely biological models of mental illnessEMDR and how it transforms trauma recoveryComplex PTSD and the role of attachment, especially in early lifeHis groundbreaking work with psychedelic medicines (MDMC, ketamine, psilocybin)The sacred art of listening and container-building in therapyWhy trauma-informed care must replace the outdated “broken brain” narrativeThe impact of boarding schools, shame, and developmental traumaWhether you're a therapist, someone on your own healing journey, or simply trauma-curious, this episode will leave you informed, inspired, and grounded in hope.

A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend about his CEO. He mentioned that the CEO tried to micromanage everything. And that he couldn't stop. And that he was reaching burnout. He mentioned that he was South African. So I asked, "Did he go to boarding school?" He replied, "Yes, I am pretty sure he did." So I mentioned boarding school syndrome and that micromanaging everything, trying to control all the details, being hypervigilant, workoholism and consequently burnout were all part of the symptoms. And over the years working with public school educated leaders I have seen these traits over and over again. So today I delve into why boarding schools create burnout and what we can do to start to rewire our brains. Take care, Piers #boardingschoolsyndrome #leadershipdevelopment #burnout #meditation--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

Last week I took a holiday and had time off work. I recorded this reflection about how stress is not usually the problem and is often a good thing. That is as long as we rest. When we rest daily. We stop. We turn off our phones and push notifications. We grow. Some reflections today about the equation Stress + Rest = Growth. Take care, Piers #stressmanagement #rest #growth #burnout #leadershipburnout --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

Roy Biancalana is a nationally recognized relationship coach, bestselling author, and host of The Attracting Lasting Love Podcast. With over 15 years of experience, Roy helps singles identify and overcome the internal barriers that keep them from finding fulfilling, lasting relationships. His journey into coaching began from personal hardship – navigating heartbreak, divorce, and unsuccessful rebounds – ultimately leading him to seek out coaching for himself. This transformative experience ignited his passion to guide others through their own relationship challenges. INTERVIEW QUESTIONSTitle: The “Curiosity Approach” to Finding a Life Partner1. You have an interesting story as to how you got into relationship coaching. It ties directly into our topic today and I think it's relevant for our listeners. Can you tell us about that?2. In your new book, Quantum Questions, you present a new and fresh approach to finding a life partner. It's what you call, “The Curiosity Approach”. What do you mean by that?3. Your book talks about asking yourself “7 Radical Questions,” that lead to attracting a healthy, lasting, intimate relationship. Can you talk about a couple of them?You have an free gift to offer our listeners. Can you tell us about it?What does it mean to be in “relationship shape” and why is it essential for attracting love?What are the most common self-sabotaging patterns in relationships and how can people break free from them?How did your personal experiences with heartbreak shape the way you coach others today?What are the biggest internal blocks that prevent people from finding and sustaining healthy relationships?How do masculine and feminine energies influence attraction and relationship dynamics?What is the first step someone can take to shift their mindset and attract better relationships?How can someone heal from heartbreak and rebuild trust after being deeply hurt or betrayed?What is the biggest myth about online dating and how can people use it more effectively?Why do so many people fear being alone and how can embracing solitude lead to healthier relationships?What is one piece of advice you wish everyone knew before entering a relationship?https://coachingwithroy.com/For his books: https://amzn.eu/d/gJMhnBj#relationships #foundationsofrelationship #boardingschoolsyndrome #relationshipproblems #emotionalintelligence--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

Some reflections on my 50th birthday.Feeling some sadness and grief.And appreciation for all the support I have had over the years.Thank you,Piers x--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

Chris Braitch is a father of 3 first and foremost. He is also a 1-2-1 and organisational coach, speaker, and founding director of the not for profit Seen & Heard. Seen & Heard supports the emotional well being of ex-pupils of boarding and independent day schools, and their families.  Chris has found his calling supporting others on their journey to healing and joy, utilising his diverse life experiences, and professional skills learned over a 20-year career in sales, marketing, and management at some of the world's largest food companies. Questions for Chris:I would love for both of us to share some of our experiences of the corporate world. What were your experiences?What were both of your experiences of leadership in those environments?Could you please talk to the difference between command and control and emotionally intelligent leadership?What is currently happening in leadership at the moment?Could you please link boarding school and leadership? What is the connection between the lack of empathy many political leaders show and their upbringing?Why have you put together this Compassionate Leaders Pathway course?What are the 12 steps of the Compassionate Leader?Why is this course different from any of the thousands of courses available?I have seen that you have launched ‘The Long Journey Home' campaign this Summer, can you tell me a bit more about this and how people can get involved?You mentioned it has been a slow start to the campaign; can you tell me about the feedback you have been getting from people?You mentioned before the podcast that you have a busy Summer getting ready to launch the Seen & Heard schools website, can you tell me about this part of Seen & Heard, and the challenges you have been facing so far. I recently contributed to an article you are putting together at S&H called “Is boarding school right for my child”. How is that going?How do people learn more?https://www.piers-cross.com/the-compassionate-leaderhttps://seenheard.org.uk/blog/the-long-journey-home-a-national-campaign-to-raise-awareness-funds-and-to-get-active-and-have-fun/--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

True Leadership Is About Empowerment, Not Control In the kind of leadership I believe in—and teach—power isn't something to hold onto. It's something to share. The most emotionally intelligent leaders I know aren't focused on creating followers. They're committed to growing more leaders. As John C Maxwell writes in The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership he personally learned to change his leadership focus "from leading followers developing leaders." That shift happens when we: ✅ Create space for others to step into their own authority ✅ Offer support, not micromanagement ✅ Encourage autonomy, creativity, and ownership ✅ Lead from trust, not fear And the ripple effect is huge: ➡️ When people feel seen, empowered, and free to lead from their strengths, teams become more resilient. ➡️ Cultures become more human. ➡️ And leadership becomes something that's shared—not just worn by the person at the top. How are you growing the leaders around you? #TheCompassionateLeader #Leadership #Empowerment #EmotionalIntelligence #InnerWork #TraumaInformedLeadership #ConsciousLeadership #HeartCentredBusiness #MenAtWork #LeadershipDevelopment --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/