Podcasts about high conflict institute

High conflict at work rarely announces itself. By the time it becomes a formal HR complaint or a leadership crisis, the patterns were visible much earlier—and the tools most organizations rely on to stay fair often make things worse, not better.Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute in Scottsdale, Arizona, are joined by Michael Lomax, JD, HCI speaker, trainer, and attorney, for Part 2 of a four-part workplace series. They break down the WEB method for early conflict assessment—Words, Emotions, Behavior—and explain why HR's focus on neutrality and incident-by-incident handling can inadvertently protect the person driving the conflict while penalizing the target.It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM.Full Show Notes & ResourcesSubmit Questions | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTubeImportant Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:48) - Assessing Workplace Conflict Early and Accurately (04:53) - Potential Costs of Getting It Wrong (09:13) - Patterns of Behavior (18:56) - Documenting Impact (20:38) - Personality Disorders (21:57) - Reactivity Drives Response (25:29) - Managing Difficult HCPs (31:02) - What to Assess First (35:30) - Wrap Up

Workplace conflict is costing US businesses $359 billion a year—and behind a disproportionate share of that damage is high conflict behavior: the kind that ignores limits, escalates faster than most leaders expect, and doesn't respond to the usual playbook. This is part one of a four-part series on high conflict in the workplace, with Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, Megan Hunter, MBA, and Michael Lomax, JD—lawyer, mediator, and senior speaker and trainer with the High Conflict Institute since 2011.Bill, Megan, and Michael unpack why conflict is surging right now—generational shifts, pandemic fallout, social media polarization, and AI giving people who demonstrate high conflict behavior entirely new tools—and make the case for why prevention has to come before the crisis, not after. If your organization is still treating conflict as something HR handles case by case, this episode is the place to start.It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM.Full Show Notes & ResourcesSubmit a Question | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTubeImportant Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:29) - Why Workplace Conflict Is Rising (02:57) - Trends Driving Workplace Conflict (04:50) - Employees Changing Job Expectations (07:15) - Affects of Social Media (08:59) - Organizational Design and Friction (11:57) - Make Work About Work (14:32) - Divisive vs. Unifying Issues (17:16) - When an HCP Is Involved (20:29) - When the Organization Isn't Aware (23:55) - Leaders Avoid Conflict (27:42) - Role Playing (29:00) - Growing Comfortable (31:25) - One Thing to Say (32:55) - Wrap Up

High conflict relationships can leave you grieving something most people don't recognize as a real loss — not just the person, but the relationship you always hoped you could have. When someone in your life consistently cannot offer the empathy, accountability, or closeness you need, the question stops being "how do I fix this?" and starts being "how do I accept what this actually is?"Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute in Scottsdale, Arizona, walk through the five stages of grief as they apply to high conflict relationships, why high conflict people get stuck in anger while those around them keep cycling, and how to make the practical decision between limited contact and no contact. They cover what to do with guilt and shame when pulling back, why sharing your feelings with a high conflict person usually backfires, and the self-affirmation strategies that interrupt the shame spiral.It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM.Full Show Notes & ResourcesSubmit Questions | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTubeImportant Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:48) - Accepting It Won't Become What You'd Hoped (02:13) - Why Do People Stay? (07:59) - Five Stages of Grieving Process (09:52) - Criteria for Choosing No-Contact Path (13:36) - Watch Your Expectations (18:45) - Getting Through It (24:43) - Wrap Up

Fear of retaliation keeps many people trapped in high conflict relationships long after they know they need to leave. Emotional explosions, smear campaigns, threats involving children, financial punishment, legal warfare — the threat of what might happen when you finally say the words can feel more paralyzing than staying. The Betty Broderick case is an extreme example, but the dynamic it illustrates — unmanaged emotions, all-or-nothing thinking, and escalating revenge — shows up in milder forms in relationships every day.Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, walk through what a safer, stepwise exit actually looks like — and why an abrupt in-person announcement is the most dangerous approach. They cover the biggest mistakes people make when leaving, how to document behavior and prepare for false allegations before they happen, and what courts and police actually respond to when you present your situation.It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM.Full Show Notes & ResourcesSubmit Questions | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTubeImportant Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:26) - Betty Broderick Case (11:01) - Why People Are Afraid to Leave Relationships with HCPs (14:04) - Mistakes When Trying to Leave (17:06) - Creating Escalations (20:11) - When It's Not a Marriage (21:48) - Getting Prepared (28:04) - Giving Warning (28:47) - If on the Fence (30:17) - Wrap Up

When someone in a high conflict situation gets upset, the instinct is to explain, correct, or reason with them — and that almost always makes things worse. The reason isn't a mystery anymore: it's neuroscience. Validation doesn't just make people feel better; it quiets the amygdala's threat response and activates the part of the brain responsible for regulating emotions. An EAR statement — something showing empathy, attention, or respect — is the fastest way to get there.Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, connect recent brain research to the EAR statement framework — covering why tone of voice affects the vagus nerve, how to calm yourself before calming someone else, and when EAR statements shouldn't be used at all.It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM.Full Show Notes & ResourcesSubmit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTubeImportant Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:49) - Validation (02:39) - Psychology Today Article (06:14) - Polyvagal Theory (11:08) - Why Harder for Some? (14:58) - How Do We Validate? (16:33) - Encouraging Statements (19:02) - Invalidation (21:42) - Example (24:00) - We Are in Charge of Ourselves (28:16) - When EAR Statements Won't Work (32:53) - High Conflict Situations (34:40) - Wrap Up

When a high conflict person says it's all your fault, most reasonable people do something predictable — they start wondering what they did wrong. That instinct toward self-reflection is healthy in most relationships. With high conflict people, it becomes a trap.Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, unpack why high conflict personalities blame with an intensity that triggers your brain's threat-detection system — and why that intensity is precisely what makes you absorb guilt that isn't yours. They cover how to reality-test yourself when the blame lands hard, what to expect when you finally set a limit, and how to sit with the backlash without retreating into self-doubt.It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM.Full Show Notes & ResourcesSubmit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTubeImportant Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:43) - It's NOT Your Fault (02:22) - Why Do HCPs Blame? (07:00) - Absorbing Guilt (13:31) - Example (17:36) - Setting Limits and Potential Backlash (19:28) - Why HCPs Escalate (24:20) - Grow Used to Uncomfortable Feelings (26:29) - Knowing When It's Not Safe (28:28) - Key Takeaways (29:27) - Wrap Up

High conflict cases have a well-documented credibility problem: the person with high conflict personality traits walks into the lawyer's office, the HR department, or the courtroom looking calm and composed. The person who has been responding to years of escalation walks in looking emotional, reactive, and hard to follow. Without a framework for recognizing this pattern, systems can unintentionally reward the behavior driving the conflict—and penalize the person trying to respond to it.Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, walk through the biggest mistakes people make when presenting high conflict concerns to lawyers, HR, courts, and adult protective services—and offer a concrete strategy for making those concerns land. They cover why chronological storytelling buries the most critical information, how to work with professionals who don't yet see what's happening, and what to do if you've already vented or lost your cool.It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM.Full Show Notes & ResourcesSubmit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTubeImportant Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:50) - When No One Else Sees It (03:19) - Why Do HCPs Come Across Credible? (07:55) - Biggest Mistakes (13:43) - Connecting Behaviors to Laws (19:28) - Repairing After Venting (23:52) - Takeaways (24:36) - In Legal Case (27:00) - Wrap Up

When addiction and high conflict personality traits both show up in a custody case, the usual advice stops working. Vague parenting plans become weapons. Standard timelines get exploited. Courts aren't designed to manage what's happening daily between two households—and the divorce itself is often just the beginning.Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, lay out what actually works: parenting plans built with iron-clad specificity, consequences written into agreements before problems happen, relapse protocols, objective safety safeguards for young children, and the assertive court strategy Bill describes as the most effective approach—not aggressive, not passive, but steady and information-forward.It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM.Full Show Notes & ResourcesSubmit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTubeImportant Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:56) - Part 2: High Conflict Behavior, Addiction, and Child Custody (02:00) - Parenting Plans (05:58) - When Reluctant to Change (08:27) - Being Prepared (10:05) - Don't Reward the Pushing (13:59) - Build Consequences into Agreements (18:24) - With Younger Children (22:15) - Professional Involvement (26:33) - Top Mistakes (30:17) - Wrap Up

High conflict custody cases are hard enough—but when one parent also demonstrates antisocial personality traits alongside addiction and a pattern of long-term deception, standard parenting plans fall short in ways that can leave a child at real risk. Antisocial personality disorder appears in family court more often than most people realize, and it requires a fundamentally different approach to court orders, parenting plans, and relapse planning.Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute in Scottsdale, Arizona, walk through how to recognize the pattern, what to actually say to a family court judge, and how to build a relapse plan directly into a custody agreement as a court order. They also cover monitoring options, supervised contact, and why no-contact orders should be extremely rare. This is part one of a two-part conversation.It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM.Full Show Notes & ResourcesSubmit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTubeImportant Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:58) - High Conflict Behavior, Addiction, and Child Custody (01:49) - Case Setup (04:00) - Pattern Recognition (08:50) - Traits (10:05) - Feined Connection (11:58) - What to Do (15:04) - Back to the Case (22:08) - Monitoring Services (23:40) - Parenting Plan (27:11) - No Contact Order? (29:43) - Defining More Extreme Personalities (33:16) - Wrap Up

In Episode of The Divorce Hour, Ilyssa Welcomes Co-Founder, The High Conflict Institute, Bill Eddy on The Impact of Emotions on The Kids. Kristen Holstrom, and Samantha McBride AKA The Custody Queens, Drop By to Update Us on Frankie Taylor Paul Case. . The Divorce Hour with Ilyssa Panitz is a safe and comfortable place for listeners to put their feet up and escape from the daily grind while we offer you comfort and advice during a challenging and often isolating time in your life. It is hard to turn to friends and family who don't understand what you are going through emotionally, mentally, or economically but we do and there is nothing to feel ashamed about! While the topics and guests will vary every week – the messaging is always the same: we are going to help you get through this dark period and despite how bleak you may think things look. If you cannot see the audio controls,

Bullying is rarely about you. It is often high-conflict individuals who project their internal traumas onto others. Whether the threats are physical or verbal, the goal is to create an environment of fear and intimidation. If you've been targeted, remember that you don't have to face it alone. There are effective ways to de-escalate these situations and professional resources available to help you. To explore how to respond to a high-conflict person, Harvesting Happiness Podcast Host Lisa Cypers Kamen continues her conversation with Billy Eddy, a licensed clinical social worker, attorney, author, and co-founder and Training Director of the High-Conflict Institute. As part of his series of de-escalation techniques for relationships, Bill Eddy shares successful strategies for setting limits with toxic people and navigating high-conflict personalities, as well as self-care methods from his book, SLIC Solutions for Conflict: Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences in 2½ Steps. Like what you're hearing? WANT MORE SOUND IDEAS FOR DEEPER THINKING? Check out More Mental Fitness by Harvesting Happiness bonus content available exclusively on https://harvestinghappiness.substack.com/ and https://medium.com/@HarvestingHappiness.

Bullying is rarely about you. It is often high-conflict individuals who project their internal traumas onto others. Whether the threats are physical or verbal, the goal is to create an environment of fear and intimidation. If you've been targeted, remember that you don't have to face it alone. There are effective ways to de-escalate these situations and professional resources available to help you. To explore how to respond to a high-conflict person, Harvesting Happiness Podcast Host Lisa Cypers Kamen continues her conversation with Billy Eddy, a licensed clinical social worker, attorney, author, and co-founder and Training Director of the High-Conflict Institute. As part of his series of de-escalation techniques for relationships, Bill Eddy shares successful strategies for setting limits with toxic people and navigating high-conflict personalities, as well as self-care methods from his book, SLIC Solutions for Conflict: Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences in 2½ Steps. Like what you're hearing? WANT MORE SOUND IDEAS FOR DEEPER THINKING? Check out More Mental Fitness by Harvesting Happiness bonus content available exclusively on https://harvestinghappiness.substack.com/ and https://medium.com/@HarvestingHappiness.

Sociopaths and narcissists are both drawn to politics. How do we spot folks with faulty moral compasses before they get elected, and what do we do when they slip by? Bill Eddy is a therapist, lawyer, and mediator. He is the Director of Innovation at the High Conflict Institute. He is the author of over twenty books on high-conflict behavior and how to manage it, but we will be discussing the most pertinent of these works, "Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths and How We Can Stop."

Bill Eddy has authored more than 20 books on high‑conflict personalities and disputes. He wants Americans, and societies everywhere, to keep a simple mantra in mind: “fantasy crisis, fantasy villain, fantasy hero with fantasy solutions.” Whenever we encounter another wave of chaos from the Trump administration or any potentially abusive elected official, this phrase helps us recognize the manufactured narratives at play. It highlights the endless cycle of contrived trauma spun by those in power, while also providing a mental shield against the constant barrage of fear, anger, intimidation, and hidden agendas driven by money or power. Bill is a therapist, lawyer, and mediator, and he serves as co‑founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. The institute's mission is to make “high‑conflict behavior manageable—even when it feels impossible.” Their “About” page explains that they “equip professionals with proven skills to navigate high‑conflict behaviors in any setting—confidently, ethically, and effectively.” Bill has also created practical tools such as the CARS Method®, BIFF Response®, EAR Statements™, and the New Ways® series, which are used to train others to regain control in high‑conflict situations. The Importance of Focused and Refined Messaging in Politics Bill understands how powerful words, repeated phrases, and tightly crafted messages can be in countering high‑conflict personalities such as narcissists and sociopaths. He argues that the Democratic Party must coordinate and sharpen its messaging to confront Trump. “What I find is Democratic politicians have hundreds of ideas, hundreds of words, but they haven't settled on anything repetitive,” he said, “and that's where we get into what we both talk about is the emotional mind.” Bill notes that Trump excels at creating short, memorable slogans that stick in voters' minds. “You target the emotional mind with these really short, you know, build the wall, send them back, those kinds of phrases, and the Democrats are saying similar stuff, but all different words,” Bill explained. I asked Bill to discuss some of the basic rules in dealing with narcissistic personalities in conflict situations. He noted that trying to give them insight into their behavior often doesn't help. Neither does focusing on the past. “You'll never agree on the past. You'll just argue forever about the past, because they may be totally committed to something that you can totally show as false, but they're locked into that,” he said' We discussed Trump's obsession with the 2020 election results and his focus on rewriting past history so that he has a win, for instance. Lastly, Bill advised against name-calling or attempting to confront the narcissist on their emotions. Bill then focused on what we should be using, like the CARS Method® “C for connecting A, for analyzing, R, for responding as for setting limits” or using EAR Statements™ where E is for Empathy, A is for Analyzing and R is for Respect. He gave an example, “So if somebody's angry and they're pointing a finger at you, and they're saying, ‘Bill, you're an idiot, and you don't know what you're talking about,' then I would say, ‘Wow, well, I can hear you're really upset. Let's look at what we can do here. Let's analyze what's going on, what we can do here.'” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Passive aggressive behavior is one of the most common—and most maddening—dynamics in high conflict situations. In this episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter of the High Conflict Institute reframe passive aggression as what it really is: aggression with built-in deniability. They walk through how to recognize it at home and at work, how to set limits on behavior that's designed to evade accountability, and how the “it's not about me” mindset gives you the emotional footing to respond effectively. Whether you're dealing with a co-worker who “forgets” every commitment or a relationship where nothing is ever directly addressed, this episode gives you a practical framework for protecting your peace.Resources from this episode:5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeDating RadarConflict Influencer ClassManaging High-Conflict Behaviour in the Workplace Training (April 23, 2026)Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTube!Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:07) - Passive Aggressive Behavior (03:59) - Is It High Conflict Behavior? (08:43) - Confronting Them (09:36) - When They Don't Stop (13:43) - Conflict Avoidance Behavior? (17:17) - A Pre-Cursor to More Overt Conflict? (18:24) - In the Workplace (19:42) - Examples (21:54) - Antisocial Behavior (23:57) - Following Through (26:09) - Staying Confident (27:22) - Wrap Up

Why are so many people drawn to media figures who thrive on conflict, drama, and promises of secret revelations? Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter of the High Conflict Institute break down the neuroscience behind it—and it turns out your brain is working exactly as designed. The right hemisphere's drive for connection, belonging, and certainty makes all of us vulnerable to conflict-driven personalities, whether we realize it or not. This episode gives you the framework to understand why you get hooked, and practical tools to reclaim your own judgment.Resources from this episode:5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeManaging High-Conflict Behavior in the Workplace — Training, April 23, 2026Training for Your OrganizationVisit High Conflict InstituteBrowse Books and ResourcesSubmit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTube!Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:42) - Catching Up (03:03) - Building Conflict Around Yourselves (06:35) - Our Draw to Conspiracy Theorists (09:58) - Why Does It Feel Credible? (12:23) - Personality Types (15:44) - Convincing and Confident (17:07) - Negative Advocates (21:09) - Reinforcing Patterns (23:05) - What Can We Do (26:23) - Using AI (29:11) - Wrap Up

Sarah McDugal is back on the podcast, and this time we're talking about what it actually takes to protect your children inside a family court system that often reframes abuse as "mutual high conflict" and makes the protective parent look like the problem. Sarah is a clarity coach and founder of Freedom Navigator and Wilderness to Wild, where she works exclusively with protective parents navigating high-conflict divorce and custody battles. In this conversation, we talk about why the ways most of us instinctively respond—explaining, defending, and trying to get people to understand the truth—can actually work against us in court. We also dive into Sarah's High Conflict Court Risk Index, an assessment designed to help parents understand early how likely their case is to become a long, drawn-out legal battle. The earlier you can see the terrain you're walking into, the more strategically you can move through it. And we talk about the kids. One of the most powerful reframes Sarah offers is that protecting our children doesn't always mean shielding them from harm. Sometimes the greatest protection we can give them is helping them learn how to navigate difficult realities with clarity, resilience, and support. If you're deep in a high-conflict case and feel like everything you do somehow gets used against you, you're not imagining it. The family court system is not what most of us think it is—and fighting it the way we naturally want to can sometimes make things worse. This conversation offers a different playbook. What you'll hear about in this episode: Why what family court labels "high conflict" is very often an abuser-victim dynamic, not a mutual conflict situation (5:28) How you can shift the dynamics in court by changing yourself, not by trying to change the other person or the system (11:10) The High Conflict Court Risk Index, what it assesses, who it is for, and why taking it early means you can start the right conversations sooner (12:28) Why an interdisciplinary divorce team saves you time, money, and unnecessary damage (24:28) What to do when your high conflict court risk comes back moderate to high, and where to go for support (23:30) Why protecting your kids from all harm is not the goal and how to start teaching them to navigate tricky people and tricky situations instead (31:30) ✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. Learn more about Sarah McDugal:Sarah McDugal is a clarity coach and founder of FREEDOM Navigator and Wilderness to WILD. She works exclusively with protective parents in high-conflict divorce and custody battles. In addition to a master's degree, Sarah holds certifications and training in: Master Certified Professional Coach (MCPC), Certified High Conflict Legal Dispute Resolver, High Conflict Institute, Certified Assessor: Danger and Lethality Assessment, Johns Hopkins University School of Nursing, Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma Treatment (DSTT) Training, Dr. Omar Minwalla, and APSATS Model for Multi-Dimensional Partner Trauma (MPTM) Training. After surviving nearly a decade of custody litigation herself, Sarah equips her clients with trauma-informed tools, court-ready case prep resources, and strategic battle plans to fight smarter for the long haul — without losing their sanity, their kids, or their voice. Known for her blend of ethical precision and empathetic strength, Sarah empowers protective parents to transform survival into strategy — guiding weary warriors to rise with endurance, resilience, and courage. Resources & Links: Get Your Curated Podcast PlaylistFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  High Conflict Court Risk Index Freedom Navigator WebsiteSarah on LinkedIn Sarah on Instagram Sarah on YouTube Episode 109: DSG Abuse Mini-Series: Escaping Toxic Relationships and Abuse in Faith-Based Communities with Sarah McDugal =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM  

Michael Lomax joins Megan Hunter to share practical tools leaders can use right away when high conflict behavior is derailing their team. They cover BIFF responses for written communication, how to redirect disruptive meeting participants, handling chronic complainers with EAR statements, and what it actually takes to build a conflict-competent culture. Plus—details on two upcoming trainings from the High Conflict Institute.Resources from this episode:New Ways for Work Coaches Training — March 3 & 5, 2026Leaders Training: Managing High Conflict Behavior at Work — April 23, 2026BIFF at Work by Bill Eddy and Megan HunterMediating High Conflict Disputes by Bill Eddy and Michael LomaxIt's All Your Fault at Work by Bill Eddy and L. Georgi DiStefanoSubmit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | High Conflict InstituteWatch this episode on YouTube!Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:54) - Guest Michael Lomax (04:19) - Workplace Tools for Leaders (05:41) - BIFF Responses (15:47) - High Conflict in Meetings (21:02) - Chronic Complaining (23:37) - Example (26:26) - Healthy Conflict (31:56) - The Training (35:28) - Mindset Shift (38:09) - Wrap Up

The Evolution of Family Estrangement: Understanding Adult Children Cutting TiesBill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore the growing phenomenon of adult children severing relationships with parents, examining research, societal shifts, and potential solutions. Drawing from their experience at the High Conflict Institute, they analyze Oprah's recent YouTube conversation with Dr. Joshua Coleman about family estrangement, offering professional insights into this complex dynamic affecting millions of families.Understanding Modern Family EstrangementResearch indicates approximately one-third of Americans experience parent-child estrangement. The hosts examine how smaller family sizes, increased mobility, and social media influence these dynamics, while exploring the impact of shifting cultural values, mental health awareness, and changing approaches to conflict resolution.Questions Addressed in This Episode:What factors contribute to increased family estrangement?How do cultural differences affect family relationship patterns?When might relationship boundaries be appropriate versus complete estrangement?What impact does estrangement have on extended family relationships?How can families develop better conflict resolution skills?Key Takeaways:Family estrangement often reflects broader societal shifts in relationship dynamicsConflict resolution skills are crucial for maintaining family connectionsModern technology and social media can both help and hinder family relationshipsSetting appropriate boundaries differs from complete relationship terminationMost estrangements are temporary, with opportunities for reconciliationThe episode provides valuable insights for anyone navigating complex family relationships, offering understanding of this significant societal trend and practical approaches for addressing relationship challenges.Additional ResourcesOprah Video- Why Adult Children are Cutting Ties With Their ParentsExpert PublicationsSLIC Solutions for Conflict: Setting Limits & Imposing Consequences in 2 1/2 StepsOur New World of Adult BulliesContact Us For High-Conflict TrainingUnderstanding & Managing High-Conflict TrainingProfessional & Personal DevelopmentHCI's courses:Conflict Influencer® - for famlies (new classes starting January 2026)High-Conflict Law Certification - for legal professionals (starts March 2026)Connect With UsVisit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.comSubmit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formatsFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteWatch this episode on YouTube!Important NoticeOur discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:41) - Why Adult Children Cut Ties with Parents (04:13) - Why More Rifts (11:11) - US Experience (13:45) - Mexico and Religion (16:20) - Destabilizing for Kids (21:25) - Intergenerational (22:56) - Everyone Needs These Skills (25:30) - Setting Consequences (26:58) - How Can You Make It Better? (29:02) - Wrap Up

Exposure and Public Shaming as Conflict Management Tools: A Critical AnalysisIn this back episode from the High Conflict Institute podcast, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter tackle a challenging question that many face when dealing with difficult workplace situations: Is exposing someone's problematic behavior an effective strategy for creating change? While the impulse to "name and shame" may feel justified, especially when facing reputation damage or distortion campaigns, the hosts explore why this approach often backfires with high conflict personalities.When dealing with individuals who demonstrate high conflict behavior patterns, the threat of exposure frequently escalates rather than resolves situations. The hosts examine how cluster B personality traits like being domineering, vindictive and intrusive can make public confrontation particularly counterproductive.Key Questions Addressed:Does exposing problematic behavior lead to meaningful change?When might the threat of exposure be strategically useful?How should organizations balance accountability with escalation risks?Core Strategic Insights:Private criticism tends to be more effective than public shamingSkills-based coaching offers better outcomes than humiliationNatural consequences work better than intentional exposureThrough examining both legal precedents and business case studies, the hosts demonstrate why investing in skill development and structured interventions often proves more valuable than reactive exposure strategies. The episode provides concrete examples of more effective approaches, from healthcare settings to corporate environments.Drawing on Harvard research and real-world examples like the Harvey Weinstein case, Bill and Megan illustrate the complex factors organizations must weigh when deciding how to address problematic behavior. They emphasize that while public exposure may occasionally be necessary, it should typically be a last resort after other interventions have been attempted.Additional ResourcesBooks:It's All Your Fault at Work: Managing Narcissists and Other High-Conflict People5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeBIFF at Work: Your Guide to Difficult Workplace CommunicationSLIC Solutions for Conflict: Setting Limits & Imposing Consequences in 2 1/2 StepsArticles:Fire or Keep High-Conflict Employees?Should Employees with High-Conflict Behaviors Be Given a Chance to Change?Professional Development:New Ways Training Programs (workplace, mediation, divorce)Conflict Influencer Class (for personal situations)Custom Training for OrganizationsHigh Conflict Institute Consultation ServicesConnect With Us:Visit High Conflict InstituteSubmit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection in our online storeFind all episode notes on our websiteImportant Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:31) - Exposure and Humiliation as a High-Conflict Strategy (02:21) - Good or Bad Idea? (08:14) - Exposure Doesn't Necessarily Stop Them (11:08) - Good Strategies (14:53) - Get Toxic People Out of Your Life (18:10) - Conversions Through Coaching (19:57) - Thinking It Through (21:29) - Intervention (24:00) - Coming Next Week: Harry, Megan, and the Coronation

Managing High Conflict in Today's WorkplaceIn this episode from the High Conflict Institute archives, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter welcome Cherolyn Knapp, a lawyer, mediator, and workplace investigator who brings fresh perspectives on handling workplace conflict. While the discussion captures workplace dynamics during an earlier phase of post-pandemic adjustment, the insights on conflict management remain remarkably relevant for today's organizations.Understanding Workplace Conflict PatternsThe discussion explores how traditional workplace conflict resolution methods often fall short with certain behavioral patterns. Cherolyn shares insights from her extensive experience, noting that while standard approaches work for 80-90% of situations, some cases require specialized skills and understanding. Though recorded closer to the initial workplace disruptions of the pandemic, the conversation highlights enduring challenges in managing high conflict situations that continue to resonate.Questions We Answer in This Episode:Why do traditional HR approaches fail with certain behavioral patterns?What makes the New Ways for Work method effective?When should organizations invest in specialized conflict coaching?Key Takeaways:Traditional conflict resolution methods work for most employees but fail with about 10-20% of casesEarly intervention with skill-building can prevent escalation to terminationConnection and empathy are crucial elements in managing high conflict situationsThe New Ways for Work method offers a structured approach that helps organizations identify when standard interventions aren't working and provides alternative strategies. This skills-based program gives both employees and managers practical tools they can implement immediately, proving just as valuable today as when this episode first aired.The episode provides valuable insights for HR professionals, workplace coaches, and leaders seeking to create healthier workplace environments. While some conflict is inevitable in any organization, understanding these patterns and having the right tools can transform seemingly impossible situations into manageable ones.Additional Resources:Books & Training:New Ways for Work® Coaching ManualNew Ways for Work® WorkbookIt's All Your Fault at Work: Managing Narcissists and Other High Conflict PeopleBIFF at Work: Your Guide to Difficult Workplace CommunicationSLIC Solutions for Conflict: Setting Limits & Imposing Consequences in 2 1/2 Steps (Pre-order)Professional Development:New Ways Training RegistrationCustom Training for OrganizationsNew Ways ProgramsConflict Influencer CertificationArticles & Resources:New Ways for Work: A New Coaching MethodWhy Can't They Get It? What to do when coworkers and employees have no idea how they behaveConnect With Us:Visit our websiteSubmit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collectionFind all episode notesFollow us on Facebook | Twitter | LinkedInNote: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:42) - Meet Cherolyn Knapp (03:42) - Questions (21:01) - New Ways for Work (29:25) - Tips (31:38) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: (33:42) - Wrap Up

Susan Guthrie welcomes two extraordinary guests whose combined perspectives offer something rarely seen in the world of divorce. Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., returns to the show alongside author Matthew A. Tower, whose new book Love Wars: Clash of the Parents gives listeners an unprecedented inside look at what high-conflict divorce feels like through the eyes of a child. Together, their insights reveal the emotional reality children carry, the predictable patterns behind high-conflict behaviors, and the steps parents can take to protect their kids from the fallout. Love Wars follows Matthew's journey from ages six to eleven as he navigated two volatile households, emotional unpredictability, parentification, negative advocates, and the relentless pressure to choose sides. His story is raw, illuminating, and at times difficult to hear, yet it is also deeply important. Bill helps contextualize Matthew's lived experience through High Conflict Personality Theory and offers guidance parents and professionals can use immediately. This conversation is a powerful companion to Bill's book Splitting and the perfect next step for anyone committed to changing the emotional climate for their children. Why This Conversation Matters High-conflict divorce leaves a lasting imprint on children, but the full internal experience is almost never visible to parents, courts, or professionals. Matthew's story pulls back the curtain on what children absorb, what they fear, how they cope, and why the conflict shapes them long after the legal case is over. Bill explains how splitting, emotional volatility, and personality-driven dynamics create confusion, fear, and reactivity for children who do not yet have the capacity to regulate intense emotions. He also highlights why professionals often miss what is really happening, and how parents can change the trajectory by lowering conflict, creating predictability, and becoming the steady emotional anchor their children desperately need. Together, Bill and Matthew offer clarity, compassion, and a path forward for families caught in high-conflict cycles. In this episode, you will learn: What children internalize during high-conflict divorce and why they absorb the emotional intensity around them Why parentification is so damaging and how children become emotional caregivers when adults are dysregulated How high-conflict parents recruit negative advocates and why these dynamics intensify the conflict Why kids shut down, freeze, or dissociate when the emotional environment becomes overwhelming How calm, consistent adults like Matthew's stepmother Holly can become a lifeline What courts and professionals often overlook when evaluating children's preferences or resistance What parents can do right now to lower reactivity, reduce conflict, and create safety for their children About the Guests:  Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. - Bill Eddy is a lawyer, therapist, mediator, best-selling author, co-founder, and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP Theory) and has become an international expert on managing disputes involving high conflict personalities and personality disorders. He provides training to lawyers, judges, mediators, managers, human resource professionals, businesspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, homeowners' association managers, ombudspersons, law enforcement, therapists and others. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. Visit the High Conflict Institute to find out more about Bill, the Institute's wealth of resources for managing high conflict relationships and more of Bill's books!   https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Listen to Bill's other episode, "Get Ready to BIFF Your High Conflict Co-Parent" on Divorce & Beyond here:  https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-q3hpd-f87a79 Get your copy of Splitting: How to Protect Yourself When Divorcing a Narcissist or Borderline here: https://amzn.to/3C22aGH Matthew A. Tower - Matthew A. Tower is an author, art director, audiobook narrator, and entrepreneur. He first saw Star Wars in theaters at age three. Love Wars: Clash of the Parents, A True Divorce Story is his debut work of literature. Previously, he was founder and CEO of Versus Books, and published more than 50 gaming strategy guides for hits like The Legend of Zelda, selling over 5 million copies. Get your copy of Love Wars: Clash of the Parents here: https://amzn.to/4oCN15T  Learn more at: https://lovewars.com ===================== Make the Most of Your Listening Experience: If this episode resonates with you, be sure to: Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share this episode with friends or loved ones who need hope and healing. Leave a 5-star review to help us reach even more listeners. Follow Us Online: Divorce & Beyond:  https://divorceandbeyondpod.com, IG: @divorceandbeyondpod Meet Our Host Susan E. Guthrie®, Esq. is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation experts, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals and families navigate divorce and conflict with clarity and compassion. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker, trainer, and practice-building consultant. Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast, where she shared her insights on gray divorce and the changing landscape of relationships. Her expertise has also been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC's Chicago Today, among many others. As the creator and host of the award-winning Divorce & Beyond® Podcast, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 3.4 million downloads, Susan brings together top experts and powerful personal stories to help listeners move through divorce and beyond with confidence, insight, and hope. Learn more about Susan and her work at susaneguthrie.com. Divorce & Beyond is a Top 1% Overall and Top 100 Self-Help podcast designed to help you with all you need to know to navigate your divorce journey and most importantly, to thrive in your beautiful beyond!   ***************************************************************************** A Smarter, Simpler Way to Navigate Your Divorce Looking for a clearer and more affordable way to move through your divorce? Check out Hello Divorce. Their guided online platform combines easy-to-follow tools with real legal and coaching support to help you complete your divorce with less stress, less confusion, and far lower costs than a traditional courtroom battle. They have created a special page just for Divorce & Beyond listeners. Explore your options at hellodivorce.com/susan. ***************************************************************************** Opportunities for Expert Guests and Fellow Podcasters Partner with Divorce & Beyond Whether you're a podcaster looking to expand your reach or an expert ready to share your insights, Divorce & Beyond offers the perfect platform to amplify your voice.  Find out more here: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/guest-opportunities ***************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM

This week on Divorce & Beyond, we are bringing back the number one episode of all time, my conversation with the incomparable Bill Eddy about his groundbreaking book Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This encore episode is more timely than ever and is also the perfect lead-in to next week's very special conversation with author Matthew A. Tower and Bill Eddy about Matthew's new book Love Wars: Clash of the Parents. That episode takes you inside the emotional experience of a child living through a high-conflict divorce. Today's replay sets the foundation for everything we will discuss next week. Why This Episode Matters There is a reason this conversation has remained the most downloaded episode in the history of Divorce and Beyond. Bill Eddy's insights have helped countless listeners understand what is happening in their high conflict divorce, why the conflict feels impossible to manage, and how to protect themselves and their children from the fallout. If you are facing a high-conflict situation, or if your co-parent has patterns of narcissistic, borderline, or antisocial behavior, this episode will give you the clarity and direction you need. In this episode you will learn: • What borderline, narcissistic, and antisocial personality patterns look like during divorce, and why they escalate conflict • The biggest mistakes people make when trying to “diagnose” or explain their spouse's behavior • How to communicate effectively using Bill's BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) • Why judges often get high-conflict cases wrong, and what you can do to present your case clearly and effectively • How to document incidents safely and strategically • What to expect when divorcing a high-conflict person and how to pace yourself for the long haul • When mediation works, when it does not, and why preparation matters • How to stay calm and grounded when your spouse appears calm in court and you do not • The three biggest patterns you must highlight to the court so your case is understood • Why support systems, emotional boundaries, and strategic planning are essential for survival Bill's wisdom is clear, practical, and actionable. Whether you are preparing for divorce, in the thick of litigation, or co-parenting with a high-conflict ex, this episode gives you tools that truly make a difference. About Bill Eddy Bill Eddy is a therapist, lawyer, mediator, and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. He has authored more than 20 books, including Splitting, BIFF for Co-Parents, and Mediating High Conflict Disputes, and is recognized worldwide as the leading expert on high-conflict personalities and their impact on divorce and family court. He is also one of the most popular and trusted guests in the history of Divorce and Beyond. A Perfect Lead-in to Next Week Be sure to tune in next week when Bill joins me again along with author Matthew A. Tower for a powerful new episode unpacking Matthew's true story of growing up in a high-conflict divorce in Love Wars: Clash of the Parents. It is an unforgettable look at how conflict affects children from the inside. Resources Mentioned • Splitting:Second Edition: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy and Randi Kreger: https://amzn.to/48eSPfu • High Conflict Institute: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com • BIFF for Co-Parent Communication by Bill Eddy: https://amzn.to/4iqZ18X • Mediating High Conflict Disputes  by Bill Eddy: https://amzn.to/4rlQgkD   Make the Most of Your Listening Experience: If this episode resonates with you, be sure to: Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share this episode with friends or loved ones who need hope and healing. Leave a 5-star review to help us reach even more listeners. Follow Us Online: Divorce & Beyond:  https://divorceandbeyondpod.com, IG: @divorceandbeyondpod Meet Our Host Susan E. Guthrie®, Esq. is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation experts, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals and families navigate divorce and conflict with clarity and compassion. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker, trainer, and practice-building consultant. Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast, where she shared her insights on gray divorce and the changing landscape of relationships. Her expertise has also been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC's Chicago Today, among many others. As the creator and host of the award-winning Divorce & Beyond® Podcast, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 3.4 million downloads, Susan brings together top experts and powerful personal stories to help listeners move through divorce and beyond with confidence, insight, and hope. Learn more about Susan and her work at susaneguthrie.com. Divorce & Beyond is a Top 1% Overall and Top 100 Self-Help podcast designed to help you with all you need to know to navigate your divorce journey and most importantly, to thrive in your beautiful beyond!   ***************************************************************************** A Smarter, Simpler Way to Navigate Your Divorce Looking for a clearer and more affordable way to move through your divorce? Check out Hello Divorce. Their guided online platform combines easy-to-follow tools with real legal and coaching support to help you complete your divorce with less stress, less confusion, and far lower costs than a traditional courtroom battle. They have created a special page just for Divorce & Beyond listeners. Explore your options at hellodivorce.com/susan. ***************************************************************************** Opportunities for Expert Guests and Fellow Podcasters Partner with Divorce & Beyond Whether you're a podcaster looking to expand your reach or an expert ready to share your insights, Divorce & Beyond offers the perfect platform to amplify your voice.  Find out more here: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/guest-opportunities ***************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM

309 | Megan Hunter, MBA It's such an honour to bring you today's guest, Megan Hunter, MBA. Megan is known as the Conflict Influencer, and is the co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. We get to know Megan's personal story today, including her reunion story. Megan shares about how she first connected with her birthmother, about a gut-wrenching experience with her biological father that resurfaced an adoptee wound, and she offers us advice in navigating new reunion relationships, including both the complex and the beautiful sides.   Full Show Notes and Transcript Here   Join our adoptee community on Patreon here   Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

In this our next listener's questions episode, High Conflict Institute co-founders Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy address three complex scenarios involving challenging relationship dynamics, boundary setting, and family conflicts.Mike seeks advice about an ex-girlfriend who refuses to leave his home despite receiving money to do so, using suicide threats as leverage. The hosts discuss implementing their new SLIC method (Setting Limits, Imposing Consequences) and the importance of following through with consequences while having appropriate support systems in place. They emphasize that enabling behavior rarely leads to positive change.Leonard from Sweden asks about common response patterns when high-conflict people face criticism. Bill explains typical reactions including denial, blame-shifting, playing victim, and counter-accusations. The hosts emphasize avoiding criticism in favor of future-focused communication and setting clear boundaries with consequences.A couple dealing with high-conflict aging parents seeks strategies for managing necessary family relationships. The hosts discuss balancing caregiving responsibilities with boundary setting, offering practical approaches for limiting problematic behaviors while maintaining connections. They emphasize matter-of-fact communication and consistent enforcement of stated consequences.Throughout these scenarios, common themes emerge: the importance of preparing for predictable reactions, maintaining firm but respectful boundaries, and avoiding the trap of criticism. The episode demonstrates how similar principles can help navigate different types of high-conflict situations, whether with ex-partners, aging parents, or other family members who exhibit challenging behaviors.Additional ResourcesPersonal GrowthNew Ways for Families ® Online ClassConflict Influencer® Class (6 weeks on Zoom)BooksSLIC Solutions for Conflict (pre-order)It's All Your FaultOur New World of Adult BulliesConsultationsBook us for a consultation about your high-conflict situation or legal caseTrainingInquire about having us train your organizationConnect With UsVisit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.comSubmit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formatsFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteWatch this episode on YouTube!Important NoticeOur discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:46) - Listener Question #1 (12:49) - Listener Question #2 (24:12) - Listener Question #3 (33:48) - Wrap Up

When High Conflict Personalities InteractIn this listener-driven episode, High Conflict Institute co-founders Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy tackle three complex scenarios from listeners, exploring relationship dynamics between different personality patterns, protecting children from parental alienation, and repairing family bonds damaged by forced estrangement.Listener Jay asks about common personality pattern pairings in relationships. Bill Eddy shares that about half of high conflict relationships involve two people with challenging personality traits. Common combinations include individuals with borderline and narcissistic traits, as well as those with antisocial and histrionic characteristics. These pairings often occur because the traits fulfill complementary emotional needs - for instance, one partner's need to dominate matching another's tendency to seek attention.Sarah seeks advice about protecting her boyfriend's five-year-old daughter from the negative influence of a high-conflict co-parent. The hosts emphasize teaching children the "four big skills for life" (flexible thinking, managed emotions, moderate behavior, checking accuracy) early, ideally before age 8-9 when children become more susceptible to parental alienation. They stress the importance of focusing on positive interactions rather than defending against accusations.Joel describes a challenging situation where his wife demands he cut ties with their oldest child and has influenced their younger children, including an 11-year-old, to reject both the oldest sibling and Joel himself. The hosts recommend seeking court-ordered family counseling, especially for younger children, and maintaining a consistent message of refusing to take sides while expressing love for all family members. They emphasize the importance of early intervention to prevent long-term alienation.Throughout these varied scenarios, a common thread emerges: the importance of maintaining boundaries while avoiding extreme responses, teaching resilience skills rather than engaging in conflict, and seeking professional help when needed. The episode demonstrates how similar principles can help navigate different types of high conflict situations, whether in intimate relationships, co-parenting, or extended family dynamics.Additional ResourcesPersonal GrowthNew Ways for Couples & FamiliesBooksDating RadarBIFF for Co-parent CommunicationDon't Alienate the KidsConsultationsBook us for a consultation about your high-conflict situation or legal caseArticleThe Parental Alienation Story: When Kids Resist Parental Contact, Check Each Parent's Story About the OtherTrainingInquire about having us train your organizationConnect With UsVisit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.comSubmit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formatsFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteWatch this episode on YouTube!Important NoticeOur discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:42) - Listener Question #1 (10:57) - Listener Question #2 (16:35) - Listener Question #3 (23:02) - Wrap Up

In today's world, bullying and aggressive behavior is becoming increasingly prevalent. It's easy to dismiss bullies as jerks, hateful or evil. But according to Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, only by understanding how their personalities work can people effectively intervene with adult bullying behavior. He explains how bullies manipulate others and what we can do to overcome their power. Bill is chief innovation officer of the High Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California. He trains lawyers, judges, mediators, and therapists in managing high-conflict family, workplace and legal disputes. He is the author of over 20 books and manuals and has a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com. Bill is the author of the new book, Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them – How to Stop Them.   Follow CYACYL: Website: www.cyacyl.com Digital: www.cyacyl.com/digital Upcoming shows: www.cyacyl.com/shows Facebook: www.facebook.com/changeyourattitudechangeyourlife Music: www.purple-planet.com

Bill Eddy is a licensed therapist, attorney, and leading expert on high-conflict personalities and dispute resolution. He is the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute and has developed widely used communication strategies such as the BIFF method. Eddy is the author of numerous influential books, including his newest release, Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them – How to Stop Them. Drawing from his dual background in law and mental health, he equips professionals and the public alike with practical tools to manage conflict and reduce drama in legal, workplace, and personal settings.In our conversation we discuss:(00:00) – Who are the five types of people?(03:04) – How do you know if someone is a narcissist?(09:57) – Why should someone care about this?(13:17) – What is the most common way people respond?(16:15) – How are adult bullies different than kids?(21:17) – Is bullying caused by being bullied?(25:46) – How do we identify gray area people?(33:32) – Does this also apply to gray area types?(36:19) – How do we deal with these people?(46:02) – Can people with high conflict traits change?(52:50) – Should we build alliances to handle conflict?(56:33) – Do these strategies apply to love life?(59:57) – How can someone rebuild confidence afterward?(01:08:43) – Do we over-prioritize controllable relationships?(01:11:13) – How can someone heal from toxic dynamics?Learn more about Bill:High Conflict Institute: https://highconflictinstitute.com/Books:https://www.amazon.com/Types-People-Ruin-Your-Life/dp/0143131362https://www.amazon.com/Our-New-World-Adult-Bullies/dp/0757325106Watch full episodes on: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@seankim⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Connect on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/heyseankim

Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore the crucial distinction between temporary high conflict behaviors and established patterns of high conflict conduct. As co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, we address common misconceptions about conflict dynamics while introducing our new platform, Conflict Influencer, designed to support individuals navigating challenging relationships.Understanding High Conflict PatternsWe examine how situational stress differs from persistent high conflict behavior patterns through an insightful analogy comparing one-time excessive drinking versus chronic alcohol dependence. While anyone may demonstrate high conflict behaviors temporarily during intense stress, persistent patterns typically manifest in:Preoccupation with blaming othersAll-or-nothing thinkingUnmanaged emotionsExtreme behaviorsThe episode clarifies that high conflict patterns often emerge in close relationships but may remain dormant until triggered by significant life changes like divorce or job loss. We emphasize that effective responses avoid giving insight, emotional engagement, or labels, instead focusing on future solutions rather than past conflicts.Questions We Answer in This EpisodeIs high conflict behavior always situational?Does conflict always require two participants?How can professionals identify pattern-based versus situational conflict?What approaches work best with individuals demonstrating high conflict patterns?What resources are available through the new Conflict Influencer platform?We also introduce ConflictInfluencer.com, our new online community and learning platform offering individual coaching, consultation services, and comprehensive support for personal conflict challenges. This platform provides both self-directed and guided learning options, making conflict management resources more accessible to individuals seeking ongoing skill development.Special emphasis is placed on the importance of practice and support in building confidence when managing difficult interactions. We demonstrate how the same conflict management skills work effectively for both situational and pattern-based conflicts, while providing practical frameworks for understanding and navigating challenging relationships more effectively.Additional ResourcesConflict Influencer: Enter our Conflict Influencer World—a place for anyone and everyone who needs help, support and skills for conflict along the spectrum, especially high-conflict.Check out Sierralin Design!Connect With UsVisit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.comSubmit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formatsFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteImportant NoticeOur discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:42) - Updates (03:00) - Today's Topics (03:48) - Is High Conflict Situational? (12:44) - Things to Avoid with an HCP (13:04) - Four Things to Know to Avoid (13:33) - Don't Focus on Emotions (14:10) - Avoid the Past (14:29) - Don't Tell Them They're an HCP (15:19) - Non-HCPs (17:00) - Watch for Patterns (18:09) - One HCP or Two People in Conflict? (22:36) - Conflict Influencer (32:05) - Questions (42:24) - Wrap Up (43:02) - Reminders & See You in September! Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

When High Conflict Takes You By SurpriseLife can change dramatically when you unexpectedly encounter a person who demonstrates high conflict behavior. Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter from the High Conflict Institute in Scottsdale, Arizona, explore the unsettling experience of being blindsided by high conflict situations—whether in a new job, relationship, or family dynamic.Understanding the Impact of Unexpected High ConflictWhen high conflict behavior emerges unexpectedly, it often creates a destabilizing ripple effect. The initial confusion and self-doubt can leave anyone questioning their capabilities and judgment. This episode examines how these situations develop, from the early stages of confusion through the progression of mounting tension and isolation.Recognizing High Conflict PatternsThe most challenging aspect of surprise high conflict situations is their ability to create self-doubt in even the most confident individuals. What begins as an attempt to improve communication or performance often escalates into a pattern of increasing criticism and isolation. Understanding these patterns helps identify when you're dealing with high conflict behavior rather than typical workplace or relationship challenges.Questions We Answer in This EpisodeHow do you recognize when self-doubt stems from high conflict behavior?What makes group high conflict situations especially challenging?Why do attempts to "try harder" often backfire with high conflict people?How can you protect yourself from high conflict surprises?Key TakeawaysRemember "It's not about me" when facing unexpected criticism90% of people don't engage in high conflict behaviorPhysical distance can help manage high conflict situationsTrust your experience with non-high conflict relationshipsSetting clear limits with consequences can be effectiveHigh conflict surprises can happen to anyone, anywhere. This episode provides practical insights for recognizing, understanding, and managing these challenging situations while maintaining your confidence and perspective.Additional ResourcesExpert PublicationsIt's All Your Fault at Work! Dealing with Narcissists and Other High-Conflict People - Managing High Conflict Workplace Dynamics5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life - Understanding High Conflict BehaviorProfessional DevelopmentNew Ways for Couples & Families: Online relationship strengthening courseConflictInfluencer.com: Advanced conflict management training (Coming Soon)Connect With UsVisit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.comSubmit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formatsFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteImportant NoticeOur discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:32) - High Conflict Surprises (02:37) - Updates (03:32) - Bill's Example (09:07) - What Happens In Our Minds (11:03) - Progression and Impact (13:02) - CARS Method (20:23) - Recentering Yourself (23:59) - New on the Job (26:08) - High Conflict Traps (27:19) - Target of Blame (29:00) - Larger Groups (31:42) - Wrap Up (32:44) - Reminders Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

My guest today is Andra Davidson.Andra is a collaboratively trained Certified Divorce Coach and mediator who created the Better Than Before Divorce™ Program to provide emotional support to men and women navigating divorce.Her clients benefit from her 25+ years of experience in crisis communications, branding, and marketing, as well as my calm strength and commitment to tangible results. She believes anyone dealing with divorce can learn to minimize conflict, communicate effectively, and prioritize healthy coparenting.  Her strength-based approach provides the tools and skills needed to reduce overwhelm and make informed decisions based on goals, not emotions.Andra's favorite past time is enjoying her blended family:  amazing 24-year-old twins, two incredible step-kids, and three adorable dogs.Andra and I met through a storytelling workshop and I was delighted when she agreed to come on the podcast!  Andra graciously shares pieces of her own journey of a divorce she didn't choose and how she has come to find her strengths, confidence, and purpose on the other side.  We talk about the value of finding your NorthStar through the process of divorce, setting manageable goals, having a support system, and determining the best path of parenting if kids are involved, including the difference between co-parenting and parallel parenting.Andra, thank you so much for this inspiring conversation.  Thank you for sharing deeply meaningful stories and wisdom alongside practical and tangible strategies to make divorce a little less difficult.To connect with Andra and find out more about her work in the world, please see the links below.  There are also links to the books and resources Andra mentions. Website: betterthanbeforedivorce.comSocial Media: https://www.facebook.com/CompassRoseDivorceCoachhttps://www.instagram.com/andradavidson_/https://www.linkedin.com/in/andradavidson/https://www.youtube.com/@CompassRoseDivorce Resources:Bill Eddy, High Conflict Institute, and all his books - https://highconflictinstitute.com/Let Them, Mel RobbinsThe Four Agreements, Don Miguel RuizThe Gifts of Imperfection, Brene BrownParentteam.com (amazing parenting coaches)Make Life Less Difficult~ Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Understanding Why People Stay in Abusive RelationshipsBill Eddy and Megan Hunter return for their seventh season of It's All Your Fault to tackle a challenging but critical topic: why people stay in abusive relationships. Drawing from their extensive experience at the High Conflict Institute, they explore the complex psychological, financial, and social factors that make leaving difficult—even for those with resources and support networks.The Power of Coercive ControlThe episode delves into how coercive control operates in relationships, using the high-profile example of FKA Twigs and Shia LaBeouf. Bill and Megan examine how abusers use tactics like love bombing, isolation, and emotional manipulation to maintain power. They emphasize that this pattern appears not just in romantic relationships, but in workplaces, families, and elder care situations.Understanding Personality PatternsThe discussion explores how people with cluster B personality traits may engage in controlling behaviors. Bill and Megan carefully explain the connection between personality patterns and abusive behavior, while emphasizing that not everyone with these traits becomes abusive. They examine how cultural factors and early life experiences can influence the development of controlling behaviors.Breaking Free and Finding HelpThe hosts share practical advice for recognizing abuse and seeking help, highlighting the importance of self-talk and building support networks. They discuss how professionals and concerned individuals can better support those in abusive situations, emphasizing the need for careful investigation rather than quick dismissal of abuse claims.Questions we answer in this episode:Why do capable, independent people stay in abusive relationships?How does coercive control work in different types of relationships?What role do personality patterns play in abusive behavior?How can professionals better identify and help abuse victims?What are the first steps to breaking free from an abusive relationship?Key Takeaways:Abusive relationships often involve complex psychological manipulationFinancial and social factors can make leaving extremely difficultSelf-doubt and eroded self-esteem are common barriers to leavingSupport systems are crucial for helping people leave abusive situationsProfessional help and community awareness can make a significant differenceThis episode provides valuable insights for anyone trying to understand abusive relationships—whether personally affected or supporting others. Bill and Megan's expertise shines through as they offer practical guidance while maintaining sensitivity around this complex topic.Note: Content warning for discussions of domestic violence and abuse. Some listeners may find portions of this episode challenging.Links & Other NotesReach out to the U.S. Domestic Violence Hotline if you're in an abusive relationship and need help via their website or call 800-799-7233BOOKSOur New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them - How to Stop ThemDating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to the The One Who Will Make Your Life HellARTICLESWhy Is It So Hard to Leave Abusive Relationships? (And What Can Be Done to Help?)COURSESNew Ways for Couples & Families (for strengthening or saving relationships, and helping their kids, if any)Conflict Influencer website alert signup (coming July 8)OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:32) - Why It's Hard to Leave Abusive Relationships (02:58) - Catching Up (08:42) - New Ways for Couples and Families (11:08) - Other Updates (11:31) - Why It's Hard to Leave a Relationship Example (19:38) - How It Grows (21:25) - Evolving Inequality and Secrecy (25:01) - Men Who Are Abused (27:32) - Common Thread (28:30) - Personalities and When to Report (33:09) - Living in the Fear Mode (36:50) - What to Do (41:23) - If It's Someone You Know (44:43) - Signoff Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

While we're on our hiatus, we're playing some of our popular episodes again from our ‘5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life' series. Enjoy!REBROADCASTIntroducing the 5 Types of High Conflict Personalities: Who Can Ruin Your Life? (Part 1)In this thought-provoking first episode of a new series on It's All Your Fault, Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, embark on an exploration of the five types of high conflict personalities who can wreak havoc in your life. Drawing from Bill's book "5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life," they provide a broad overview of these challenging personalities, setting the stage for a deeper dive into each type in upcoming episodes.Understanding High Conflict PersonalitiesBill and Megan illuminate the perplexing nature of high conflict personalities, emphasizing that these individuals often lack self-awareness and may not even realize the impact of their behavior on others. They stress the importance of recognizing patterns of behavior rather than focusing on isolated incidents, as high conflict personalities tend to exhibit consistent patterns of blame-shifting, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme behaviors.Navigating Relationships with High Conflict IndividualsThroughout the episode, Bill and Megan offer practical strategies for navigating relationships with high conflict personalities. They caution against common pitfalls, such as attempting to provide insight into the person's behavior or engaging in emotional arguments. Instead, they recommend focusing on the present, offering choices, and using the CARS method (Connect, Analyze, Respond, Set Limits) to de-escalate conflicts and maintain healthy boundaries.Questions we answer in this episode:Who are the five types of high conflict personalities that can ruin your life?What are the defining characteristics of a high conflict personality?How can I recognize patterns of high conflict behavior?What are the common mistakes to avoid when dealing with high conflict individuals?What can I expect from the upcoming episodes in this series?Key Takeaways:The five types of high conflict personalities can have a profound negative impact on your life if left unchecked.High conflict personalities often lack self-awareness and may not realize the impact of their behavior on others.Recognizing patterns of behavior is crucial when dealing with high conflict individuals.Avoid trying to provide insight, engaging in emotional arguments, focusing on the past, or labeling the person.Stay tuned for upcoming episodes that will explore each of the five types in greater depth, providing targeted strategies for managing these specific personalities.Whether you're dealing with a high conflict partner, family member, coworker, or friend, this episode sets the foundation for understanding and managing these challenging relationships. By introducing the five types of high conflict personalities and providing a broad overview of strategies for dealing with them, Bill and Megan offer listeners a roadmap for the upcoming series, which promises to deliver invaluable insights and tools for navigating life's most difficult interpersonal dynamics.Links & Other NotesBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeARTICLESWho Are High-Conflict People?The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeFive Types of High-Conflict Personalities And their targets of blame—and sometimes violence.Anybody You Know? Predictable Characteristics of High Conflict PeopleCOURSESCourses for professional trainingCourses for individualsConflict Influencer Class (live virtual)OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:35) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (01:14) - Creating Awareness (05:54) - Starting to See It Differently (12:09) - Key Characteristics (21:35) - Options (22:40) - Four Forget-About-Its (26:03) - Four Things to Do (29:02) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Narcissistic High Conflict People Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

Understanding BPD: Recovery, Relationships, and Legal ChallengesIn this powerful episode, High Conflict Institute co-founders Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter welcome Shehrina Rooney, author and BPD recovery advocate, for an enlightening discussion about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Through personal experience and professional insight, they explore how BPD impacts relationships, parenting, and legal proceedings, while challenging common misconceptions about the disorder.Shehrina shares her journey from being a successful YouTube personality with over 30,000 subscribers to facing significant personal and legal challenges. Her story illuminates the complex intersection of BPD, trauma, and the legal system, particularly in family court settings. She discusses how BPD diagnosis can be weaponized in legal proceedings and the importance of looking beyond labels to see the whole person.Bill and Megan delve into the crucial differences between active BPD symptoms and recovery, emphasizing how courts and legal professionals often struggle to understand these distinctions. The conversation explores the frequent overlap between BPD and other personality patterns, particularly in toxic relationships, and how this affects family court outcomes.The discussion also addresses the stigma surrounding BPD and the need for better understanding among legal and mental health professionals. They examine how reframing BPD as an emotional regulation issue rather than a personality disorder could help reduce stigma and improve treatment approaches.Questions we answer in this episode:How does BPD recovery differ from active BPD symptoms?What challenges do people with BPD face in family court?How can legal professionals better understand and handle BPD cases?What's the connection between BPD and toxic relationships?How does trauma interact with BPD diagnosis and treatment?Key Takeaways:BPD recovery is possible and changes behavior significantlyCourts need to consider both parents' behaviors, not just diagnosesSelf-awareness and support systems are crucial for BPD recoveryTrauma often intersects with BPD diagnosis and treatmentRenaming BPD could help reduce stigma and improve understandingThis episode offers invaluable insights for legal professionals, mental health practitioners, and anyone affected by BPD. Through Shehrina's powerful personal story and the hosts' expert analysis, listeners gain a deeper understanding of BPD while learning practical approaches for handling high conflict situations involving personality disorders in legal and personal contexts.Links & Other NotesGUEST SHEHRINA ROONEYhttps://www.youtube.com/recoverymum (videos not available currently)BOOKSThe Big Book on Borderline Personality DisorderPaperback - on Unhooked Books website(25% discount through 5/31/25)Paperback on Amazon USPaperback on Amazon UKPaperback on Amazon Australiae-BookCOURSESConflict Influencer 6-Week ClassNew Ways for Families® Training for counselors and divorce coachesCounselors hereCoaches hereNew Ways for Families® Online Class for ParentsOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:36) - Meet Shehrina (09:13) - Recovery and Self-Awareness (16:09) - Changes in Behavior (17:48) - A Lot to Be Learned (22:30) - A Lawyer's Approach (25:31) - A Spectrum (26:56) - Every Case Is Different (28:56) - Slowly Getting Better (31:17) - Emotion Disregulation (32:44) - Therapists (34:33) - What's Going On and What to Do (39:47) - Combinations (41:49) - Determining the Strategy of What to Do (42:47) - Women vs. Men (43:28) - Wrap Up (44:05) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Another Guest! Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

Inside the Lori Vallow Daybell Case: A Deep Dive into Criminal PsychologyBill Eddy and Megan Hunter, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, dive deep into one of the most disturbing true crime cases in recent history—the Lori Vallow Daybell murders. The hosts explore the psychological aspects behind what led to multiple murders, including those of Vallow's own children, and examine potential personality patterns that may help explain such extreme behavior.The Complex Web of Personality and CrimeBill and Megan discuss how individuals who commit horrific acts often display patterns of behavior long before their crimes. They explore how Vallow's case may demonstrate characteristics associated with antisocial personality traits—combined with possible narcissistic tendencies. The hosts emphasize that these patterns often have genetic components rather than being solely the result of upbringing or environment.Understanding Family ImpactThe episode provides valuable insights into how family members process and heal from such traumatic events. Through examining Vallow's surviving son Colby's experience, Bill and Megan highlight the importance of understanding that what seems typical in childhood may later be recognized as problematic—leading to crucial healing opportunities.Questions we answer in this episode:What personality patterns might explain seemingly inexplicable criminal behavior?How do genetic factors influence personality development?Can early intervention help prevent antisocial behavior patterns?What role does narcissism play in high conflict cases?How do family members begin healing after discovering disturbing truths?Key Takeaways:Antisocial personality traits often emerge before age 12Early intervention is crucial for addressing concerning behaviorsGenetic factors play a significant role in personality developmentComplex cases often involve multiple personality patternsHealing requires understanding it wasn't family members' faultThis episode offers valuable insights for mental health professionals, law enforcement, and anyone seeking to understand complex criminal behavior. Through careful analysis of the Vallow case, listeners gain practical knowledge about personality patterns, family dynamics, and the importance of early intervention in preventing tragic outcomes.Links & Other NotesARTICLELori Vallow Daybell / Chad Daybell articleBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict PersonalitiesSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (Second Edition)ARTICLESViolence and Mental HealthSociopaths and their DeceptionsOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:34) - Lori Vallow/Chad Daybell Murder (02:51) - Setting the Stage (06:36) - Thoughts on First Case (11:58) - Colby (13:50) - Anti-Social Personality Behavior (21:06) - Treating Younger Children (23:18) - Warning Signs (24:27) - Chad's Story (31:47) - Making Up ‘Truths' (34:16) - Narcissism (37:10) - Wrapping Up (38:48) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Shehrina Rooney and BPD Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

Listener Questions: Managing Self-Awareness and High Conflict RelationshipsIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, tackle pressing listener questions about managing difficult relationships and developing self-awareness. The episode focuses particularly on handling interactions with individuals who display challenging personality traits and navigating complex relationship dynamics.Understanding Self-Awareness and Conflict ManagementBill and Megan explore the crucial role of self-awareness in managing high conflict tendencies. They emphasize that approximately 10% of people exhibit high conflict personality traits, with self-awareness being a key differentiator in relationship success. The hosts discuss practical tools like the BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm) method and EAR statements for better communication.Navigating Complex RelationshipsThe discussion delves into strategies for dealing with challenging personalities in various contexts, including co-parenting situations and mediation. Bill and Megan stress the importance of setting realistic expectations and knowing when to try alternative approaches if initial strategies aren't working.Personal Change and External InfluencesAn important segment addresses how manipulative relationships can impact otherwise healthy individuals, potentially causing them to display uncharacteristic behaviors. The hosts explore the importance of maintaining personal boundaries and recognizing when to seek professional help.Questions we answer in this episode:How can someone who recognizes their own high conflict tendencies improve their relationships?What strategies work best when mediating with challenging personalities?Can manipulative relationships cause someone to display high conflict behaviors?How should one approach personality changes in relationships?What role do organizational structures play in conflict resolution?Key Takeaways:Self-awareness is crucial for managing high conflict tendenciesSet clear boundaries and know when to stop trying certain approachesSudden personality changes should prompt medical evaluationManipulative relationships can affect anyone's behaviorSupport systems and professional help are valuable resourcesThis episode provides valuable insights for anyone dealing with challenging relationships or working to improve their own conflict management skills. Bill and Megan offer practical tools and compassionate guidance while maintaining professional boundaries and emphasizing the importance of seeking appropriate medical and mental health support when needed.Links & Other NotesPROFESSIONAL TRAININGNew Ways for Mediation training for professionalsCOURSES & CLASSESNew Ways for Life (training to help young people learn 4 Big Skills)Conflict Influencer Group ClassBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:40) - Listener Questions (02:02) - Question One (06:03) - Question Two (11:28) - Question Three (13:38) - Question Four (18:59) - Question Five (22:40) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Bully Bosses Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

In this episode, I'm joined by Bill Eddy—founder of the High Conflict Institute and a leader in the fields of mediation and conflict resolution. We talk about the complexities of high conflict personalities and the emotional dynamics that make certain discussions difficult to manage. Drawing from his background as both a therapist and a lawyer, Bill shares practical strategies for mediators, therapists, and anyone navigating emotionally charged conversations.We talk about the EAR method (Empathy, Attention, Respect), the BIFF approach (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm), and how social media fuels conflict dynamics. Whether you're dealing with legal disputes, family disagreements, or tough workplace conversations, this episode is packed with insights on how to manage conflict more effectively—without losing your cool.00:00 – Introduction to High Conflict Dynamics02:59 – Bill's Journey from Therapy to Law05:53 – What Defines a High Conflict Personality09:13 – Mediation Techniques & Emotional Insight11:08 – The Role of Emotion in Conflict15:34 – The EAR Method: Empathy, Attention, Respect22:52 – BIFF Responses: Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm33:07 – How Social Media Escalates Conflict44:12 – Practical Tips for Handling High Conflict SituationsFind Bill Eddy:High Conflict Institute Connect with Evelyn Marley:Instagram: @evelynmarleyWebsite: www.evelynmarleycoaching.comDownload the Free Guide:10 Ways to Say What You Mean (Without Starting a Fight)If you enjoyed this episode, leave a quick ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ rating or review—it really helps others find the show. And if someone you now is navigating difficult conversations please send it their way.high conflict, mediation, personality disorders, emotional management, conflict resolution, communication strategies, empathy, emotional intelligence, legal disputes, therapy, interpersonal relationships, social media, conflict management

Negotiating with High Conflict Personalities: A Transformative ApproachIn this enlightening episode of It's All Your Fault, hosts Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy from the High Conflict Institute welcome Michèle Huff, author of "The Transformative Negotiator: Changing the Way We Come to Agreement." Through her experience as a transactional lawyer and current executive director at UC Berkeley's Office of Business Contracts and Brand Protection, Huff shares insights that align perfectly with managing high conflict situations while maintaining humanity and connection.The conversation explores how Huff's unique approach to negotiation - emphasizing internal transformation and human connection - can be particularly effective when dealing with high conflict personalities. Drawing from Buddhist principles and years of experience in Silicon Valley, Huff explains how understanding oneself becomes crucial when facing challenging behaviors in negotiations. Bill and Megan connect these concepts to their extensive work with high conflict personalities, showing how transformative negotiation techniques can help manage difficult situations.The discussion delves into practical strategies for maintaining composure when faced with high conflict behaviors, including the use of "anchoring" techniques and mindful breathing. Particularly valuable is the exploration of how these methods can work even in high-stakes business environments where traditional aggressive negotiation tactics are common. The episode also addresses cultural differences in negotiation styles, offering insights into managing high conflict situations across cultural boundaries.Questions we answer in this episode:How do you maintain effectiveness when dealing with high conflict personalities?What techniques help keep negotiations productive when emotions run high?How can you recognize early warning signs of high conflict behavior in negotiations?When should you walk away from a negotiation?What role does self-awareness play in managing difficult negotiations?Key Takeaways:Understanding your own triggers helps manage high conflict situationsHuman connection can defuse potentially volatile negotiationsPhysical and emotional well-being directly impacts negotiation successSetting appropriate boundaries is crucial in high conflict situationsTransformative negotiation techniques work in both personal and professional contextsThis episode provides essential insights for anyone who deals with high conflict personalities in negotiations, from business professionals to mediators to individuals managing personal relationships. Huff's approach to transformative negotiation, combined with Bill and Megan's expertise in high conflict personalities, offers practical strategies for achieving better outcomes while maintaining professional boundaries and personal well-being.Links & Other NotesBOOKSThe Transformative Negotiator: Changing the Way We Come to Agreement (Revised & Updated Edition)Purchase on our website: https://www.unhookedmedia.com/stock/p/transformative-negotiator-fcgdxPurchase on AmazonGUEST MICHELE HUFF WEBSITEhttps://michelehuff.com/2nd-edition-book/ARTICLESRead Michele's blogOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:43) - Michèle Huff (05:27) - Her Background (11:28) - Book's Title (13:15) - Soft Skills in Negotiations (17:37) - Transferring Skills (20:55) - Mistakes in Negotiating (25:51) - Negotiating with HCPs (34:28) - Caring and Authenticity (40:38) - Finding Your Anchors and Keeping Deadlines at Bay (45:53) - Resistance (50:27) - Dedication (54:13) - Wrap Up (55:00) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Kara Rubenstein on DNA Surprises Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness in Family Court: A Judge's PerspectiveIn this enlightening episode, High Conflict Institute co-founders Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter welcome back retired Judge Bruce Cohen to discuss the critical differences between assertiveness and aggressiveness in family court proceedings. With decades of combined experience in family law, social work, and conflict resolution, the trio explores how presentation style can significantly impact case outcomes, especially in custody disputes.Understanding the Impact of Communication StyleJudge Cohen shares invaluable insights about how judges perceive different communication approaches in the courtroom. He emphasizes that while both assertive and aggressive styles express thoughts, feelings, and needs, assertiveness does so respectfully while aggressiveness relies on blame and confrontation. Bill and Megan explore this distinction through real-world examples and practical applications.The Role of Personality Disorders in CourtThe discussion delves into Bill's book Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The hosts and Judge Cohen examine how to address concerning behavior patterns without falling into the trap of amateur diagnosis or labeling. They stress the importance of focusing on specific behaviors and their impact rather than clinical terms.Effective Court CommunicationBill shares his expertise on writing for court, offering practical tips for presenting information effectively. Judge Cohen provides valuable feedback from the bench's perspective, confirming the importance of clear, organized, and relevant presentation of facts. The conversation highlights how proper documentation and presentation can significantly influence court outcomes.Questions we answer in this episode:What's the difference between assertive and aggressive communication in court?How do judges perceive different communication styles?When should personality disorder concerns be raised in court?How should evidence be presented most effectively?What communication mistakes commonly harm court cases?Key Takeaways:Focus on specific behaviors rather than diagnostic labelsPresent your strongest evidence first rather than chronologicallyStart documents by clearly stating what you wantRespond to false allegations with measured, factual responsesUse headers and organized presentation in court documentsThis episode provides essential insights for anyone involved in family court proceedings, whether as a party, attorney, or helping professional. The combination of judicial perspective, clinical expertise, and practical experience offers listeners a comprehensive understanding of effective court communication strategies.Links & Other NotesCLASSESConflict Influencer (live group class)Writing for Court: 10 Tips for Persuading Decision-Makers (self-directed 1-hour course)BOOKSSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderARTICLESTaking the Assertive Approach in Family CourtManaging a Blamer with an Assertive Approach6 Ways You Should Be Assertive in Family CourtSIGN UP FOR NEWSLETTEROUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:37) - Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness (13:36) - Easy to Read? (15:51) - The Splitting Book (20:04) - Court Experience (23:02) - Patterns of Behavior (25:32) - How to Present (27:47) - Self-Represented Cases (29:36) - Writing for Court (43:29) - Get Away from the Terms (45:22) - Wrap-up (45:49) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: When Your Friend or Family Is an HCP Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

Understanding Anger and High Conflict PersonalitiesBill Eddy and Megan Hunter, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, dive deep into the complex relationship between anger and high conflict personalities. This illuminating episode explores why some people experience instant rage while others maintain better emotional control, particularly in challenging interpersonal situations.The Science Behind Anger ManagementRecent research from Ohio State University challenges common beliefs about anger management techniques. Contrary to popular advice, activities like venting or intense physical exercise may not effectively reduce anger. Instead, the key lies in lowering physiological arousal through specific calming techniques. Bill and Megan explore these findings while discussing the brain's role in emotional regulation, particularly focusing on the relationship between the amygdala and prefrontal cortex.Different Personalities, Different Anger PatternsThe episode provides valuable insights into how various personality types experience and express anger differently. Bill explains how people with different personality traits may process and display anger in distinct ways, from calculated responses to uncontrolled emotional outbursts. This understanding is crucial for developing effective interaction strategies.Connection and Anger ManagementBill and Megan discuss the surprising effectiveness of human connection in managing anger. Whether through eye contact, using someone's name, or engaging in group activities, the power of connection emerges as a key factor in de-escalating high conflict situations.Questions we answer in this episode:Why do some people go from calm to enraged so quickly?How do different personality types experience and express anger?What anger management techniques actually work?How does early childhood development affect adult anger patterns?What role does human connection play in managing anger?Key Takeaways:Not all traditional anger management techniques are effectiveDifferent personality types express anger in distinct waysHuman connection can be a powerful tool for de-escalating angerEarly childhood experiences significantly impact adult anger patternsUnderstanding anger triggers is crucial for better managementThis episode provides essential insights for anyone dealing with high conflict personalities or seeking to better understand anger management. Through research-backed discussion and practical examples, Bill and Megan offer valuable strategies for managing anger in both personal and professional contexts.Links & Other NotesBOOKSOur New World of Adult BulliesThe Archaeology of Mind: Neuroevolutionary Origins of Human EmotionsARTICLESA meta-analytic review of anger management activities that increase or decrease arousal: What fuels or douses rage?Breathe, don't vent: Turning down the heat is key to managing angerOUR NEWSLETTERGet our updates.SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTSInvite us to speak.OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:37) - Catching Up (03:43) - Anger and Ways to Get Rid of It (07:12) - HCP Types and Anger (12:23) - Conscious vs. Unconscious (13:33) - Anger and the Brain (18:20) - Learning Self Restraint (19:54) - Study Highlights (21:23) - Difficult for HCPs (23:09) - More Research (30:59) - Archaelogy of the Mind (38:41) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Being Assertive Learn more about our New Ways for Work for Leaders. Get started today!

Managing Workplace Emotions: From Reactivity to ResilienceIn this episode of It's All Your Fault, Megan Hunter is joined by Cherolyn Knapp, a workplace conflict expert from the High Conflict Institute. Together, they explore the crucial topic of emotional management in professional settings, offering practical strategies for leaders and employees to handle heightened emotions effectively. Cherolyn brings her extensive experience as a lawyer, mediator, and workplace investigator to provide valuable insights into managing difficult situations and maintaining professional relationships.Understanding Emotional ContagionMegan and Cherolyn discuss how emotions spread in workplace settings - similar to WiFi - and the importance of being aware of this phenomenon. They emphasize the distinction between experiencing emotions and reacting to them, highlighting how unmanaged emotions can escalate conflicts and disrupt workplace harmony.The Power of Emotional RegulationThe conversation delves into practical techniques for emotional regulation, including the crucial "calm before think" approach. They explore how taking even a brief moment to regulate emotions can lead to better decision-making and more productive interactions. The discussion includes specific strategies like grounding exercises and positive self-talk that can be implemented immediately in workplace settings.Time Investment in Emotional ManagementA significant portion of the episode focuses on why investing time in emotional management isn't just beneficial - it's essential for workplace efficiency. Megan and Cherolyn explain how taking short breaks to address emotional situations can actually save time in the long run by preventing larger conflicts from developing.Questions we answer in this episode:What does unmanaged emotion look like in the workplace?How can leaders help team members who are experiencing emotional outbursts?What immediate steps can anyone take to regain emotional control?Why is emotional regulation crucial for workplace success?How can we break the cycle of emotional contagion?Key Takeaways:Emotions are contagious in workplace settingsBreathing exercises can quickly restore calm and rational thinkingGrounding techniques using five senses help manage emotional reactionsPositive self-talk is a powerful tool for emotional regulationSmall time investments in emotional management yield significant returnsThis episode provides invaluable insights for anyone looking to improve their emotional management skills in professional settings. Whether you're a leader managing team dynamics or an employee navigating workplace relationships, the practical strategies and real-world examples offered by Megan and Cherolyn provide a comprehensive toolkit for maintaining emotional equilibrium in challenging situations.Links & Other NotesTRAININGLEADERS TRAINING: New Ways for Work® Leaders TrainingCOACHES TRAINING: New Ways for Work® Coaches TrainingARTICLESKeep the Conflict Small! (With Managed Emotions)How to Avoid Getting Hooked by High Conflict BehaviorBOOKSCalming Upset People with EAR5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:42) - Managing Emotions (02:22) - Welcome Back, Cherolyn! (02:58) - Cherolyn's Background (05:32) - Where and How to Display Emotions (07:17) - Our Feelings and How We Express Them (08:59) - Unmanaged Emotions (11:18) - Bringing Someone Down (15:59) - Things to Avoid Doing (18:59) - Take the Time (20:56) - Grounding (24:31) - Positive Self-Talk (28:08) - New Ways for Work Coaching (30:41) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Borderline Personality Disorder Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions. Get started today!

Understanding Psychopathy: Costs, Characteristics, and Social Impact (Part 1)In this first episode of a two-part series, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore psychopathy, its relationship to antisocial personality disorder, and its staggering $460 billion annual cost to the US criminal justice system. Drawing from recent research and their extensive experience at the High Conflict Institute, Bill and Megan break down complex psychological concepts into practical, understandable terms.The Spectrum of Antisocial BehaviorBill and Megan discuss how antisocial personality disorder manifests, its early warning signs, and its relationship to psychopathy. They explore how these traits appear in various settings — from business environments to personal relationships — and why early intervention is crucial, particularly before age 15.Understanding Psychopathy's Three Key FeaturesThe episode delves into the three main characteristics of psychopathy: disinhibition (extreme risk-taking), callousness (lack of empathy), and boldness (absence of fear). Bill and Megan examine how these traits manifest in real-world situations and their implications for relationships and society.Modern Diagnosis and AssessmentThe hosts explore the shift from viewing personality traits as fixed characteristics to understanding them as dimensions on a spectrum. This modern approach allows for more nuanced understanding and assessment of psychopathic traits.Questions we answer in this episode:What is the difference between antisocial personality disorder, sociopathy, and psychopathy?How early can antisocial behaviors be identified?Can someone with these traits change with treatment?What role does empathy play in psychopathy?How do these personalities impact everyday relationships?Key Takeaways:Psychopathy costs the US criminal justice system approximately $460 billion annuallyEarly intervention (before age 15) is crucial for changing antisocial behaviorsAntisocial personality disorder affects about 4% of adults, while psychopathy affects about 1%People with these traits often display instrumental empathy rather than genuine empathyUnderstanding these traits can help with protection and boundary-settingThis first episode in the two-part series provides invaluable insights for anyone seeking to understand psychopathy and its impact on society. Whether you're a professional working with high conflict personalities or simply interested in understanding complex human behavior, Bill and Megan's expert analysis offers practical knowledge and protective strategies. Tune in next week for Part 2, which will explore genetics, causation, and additional dimensions of psychopathy.Links & Other NotesPSYCHOPATHY ARTICLE:Berkeley Voices Psychopathy goes undetected in some people. Why?THE MOVIE BILL BROUGHT UP AS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THIS:Catch Me If You CanBOOKSIt's All Your Fault at Work!It's All Your Fault!Our New World of Adult BulliesARTICLESLiving with High-Conflict People: Do's and Don'ts for Living with an Antisocial High Conflict PeopleThe Sociopath: Antisocial High Conflict PeopleSociopaths and Their DeceptionsManipulators in Plain Sight: Spotting Antisocial Personality Disorder OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:41) - Psychopathy (02:23) - Background for the Conversation (04:11) - Antisocial vs. Psychopath vs. Sociopath (05:48) - Antisocial Personality Disorder (19:13) - Bill's Books (19:44) - Psychopathy and Sociopathy (22:18) - Disinhibition (25:37) - Callousness (29:53) - Boldness (32:08) - Personality Dimensions (35:54) - Wrap Up (36:23) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Psychopathy Part 2 Learn more about our Conflict Influencer Class. Get started today!

Guillermo and his ex-wife divorced nearly a decade ago. They share custody of their son which, Guillermo says, lets her continue meddling in his life. He recently started dating someone and it's getting serious, but he's worried that his ex is going to destroy his new relationship. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Bill Eddy, author and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. Bill explains how to set limits and impose consequences in truly difficult situations to preserve your peace of mind and foster happiness. If you liked this episode check out: How To Do Divorce Right and How To Save a Friend from a Bad Relationship Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. How To's executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

Guillermo and his ex-wife divorced nearly a decade ago. They share custody of their son which, Guillermo says, lets her continue meddling in his life. He recently started dating someone and it's getting serious, but he's worried that his ex is going to destroy his new relationship. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Bill Eddy, author and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. Bill explains how to set limits and impose consequences in truly difficult situations to preserve your peace of mind and foster happiness. If you liked this episode check out: How To Do Divorce Right and How To Save a Friend from a Bad Relationship Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. How To's executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.  Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you'll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guillermo and his ex-wife divorced nearly a decade ago. They share custody of their son which, Guillermo says, lets her continue meddling in his life. He recently started dating someone and it's getting serious, but he's worried that his ex is going to destroy his new relationship. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Bill Eddy, author and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. Bill explains how to set limits and impose consequences in truly difficult situations to preserve your peace of mind and foster happiness. If you liked this episode check out: How To Do Divorce Right and How To Save a Friend from a Bad Relationship Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. How To's executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.  Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you'll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guillermo and his ex-wife divorced nearly a decade ago. They share custody of their son which, Guillermo says, lets her continue meddling in his life. He recently started dating someone and it's getting serious, but he's worried that his ex is going to destroy his new relationship. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Bill Eddy, author and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. Bill explains how to set limits and impose consequences in truly difficult situations to preserve your peace of mind and foster happiness. If you liked this episode check out: How To Do Divorce Right and How To Save a Friend from a Bad Relationship Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. How To's executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.  Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you'll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guillermo and his ex-wife divorced nearly a decade ago. They share custody of their son which, Guillermo says, lets her continue meddling in his life. He recently started dating someone and it's getting serious, but he's worried that his ex is going to destroy his new relationship. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Bill Eddy, author and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. Bill explains how to set limits and impose consequences in truly difficult situations to preserve your peace of mind and foster happiness. If you liked this episode check out: How To Do Divorce Right and How To Save a Friend from a Bad Relationship Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. How To's executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.  Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you'll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bill Eddy is a lawyer, licensed therapist and professional mediator. He's also the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute, pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory to help explain the behaviors of the most "difficult" difficult people and ways to manage relationships with them.  Today on the show we discuss: The best way to spot someone who will be a problem in your life, the truth definition of someone who is considered high conflict or has a personality disorder, how to communicate with someone that won't take responsibility for their problems, what a healthy level of conflict looks like in a relationship, when is it time to walk away from a relationship, how to work on growing a relationship and much more. Thanks to this episode's sponsor: MitoLux Head to www.mitolux.com and enter promo code DOUG at checkout for 10% off your first order. ⚠ WELLNESS DISCLAIMER ⚠ Please be advised; the topics related to health and mental health in my content are for informational, discussion, and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health or mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your current condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard from your favorite creator, on social media, or shared within content you've consumed. If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. If you do not have a health professional who is able to assist you, use these resources to find help: Emergency Medical Services—911 If the situation is potentially life-threatening, get immediate emergency assistance by calling 911, available 24 hours a day. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org.  SAMHSA addiction and mental health treatment Referral Helpline, 1-877-SAMHSA7 (1-877-726-4727) and https://www.samhsa.gov Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bill Eddy is back on the show to dive into a critical topic: adult bullies. With election season upon us, the presence of bullies—whether in politics, the workplace, relationships, or even parenting—can feel more intense than ever. Bill, Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute and author of Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them – How to Stop Them, explains how today's media-driven culture fuels the rise of adult bullies, encouraging aggression and disregarding rules. We explore how bullies create crises out of thin air, positioning themselves as heroes of their made-up stories. Plus, Bill shares concrete examples of adult bullying in the world today, how it impacts children when parents are the bullies, and why it's crucial to stand together against bullies to take them down. Listen and learn how to protect yourself and your loved ones from the emotional manipulation bullies use to gain power. Featured topics: What defines an adult bully and the key traits to look out for (4:30) The secret weapon of bullies: emotional manipulation and the "crisis-villain-hero" narrative (8:04) How media and social media fuel the growth of adult bullies (15:27) How parents can inadvertently turn their children away from a co-parent (24:09) The importance of empathy: addressing bullying without becoming bullies ourselves (34:56) The future of adult bullies: what to expect and how to stand against them (49:27) Learn more about Bill Eddy: Bill Eddy is the author of Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them – How to Stop Them and the Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California. He trains lawyers, judges, mediators, and therapists throughout the United States and a dozen other countries in managing high-conflict family, workplace, and legal disputes. He is the author of over 20 books and manuals and has a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective High Conflict Institute Bill's book “Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them, How to Stop Them” The High Conflict Institute on Facebook The High Conflict Institute on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-295-adult-bullies-with-bill-eddy-your-vote-your-choice/

Bill Eddy is back on the show to dive into a critical topic: adult bullies. With election season upon us, the presence of bullies—whether in politics, the workplace, relationships, or even parenting—can feel more intense than ever. Bill, Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute and author of Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them – How to Stop Them, explains how today's media-driven culture fuels the rise of adult bullies, encouraging aggression and disregarding rules. We explore how bullies create crises out of thin air, positioning themselves as heroes of their made-up stories. Plus, Bill shares concrete examples of adult bullying in the world today, how it impacts children when parents are the bullies, and why it's crucial to stand together against bullies to take them down. Listen and learn how to protect yourself and your loved ones from the emotional manipulation bullies use to gain power. Featured topics: What defines an adult bully and the key traits to look out for (4:30) The secret weapon of bullies: emotional manipulation and the "crisis-villain-hero" narrative (8:04) How media and social media fuel the growth of adult bullies (15:27) How parents can inadvertently turn their children away from a co-parent (24:09) The importance of empathy: addressing bullying without becoming bullies ourselves (34:56) The future of adult bullies: what to expect and how to stand against them (49:27) Learn more about Bill Eddy: Bill Eddy is the author of Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them – How to Stop Them and the Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California. He trains lawyers, judges, mediators, and therapists throughout the United States and a dozen other countries in managing high-conflict family, workplace, and legal disputes. He is the author of over 20 books and manuals and has a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective High Conflict Institute Bill's book “Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them, How to Stop Them” The High Conflict Institute on Facebook The High Conflict Institute on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-295-adult-bullies-with-bill-eddy-your-vote-your-choice/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices