Finding OK

In this episode of Finding OK, Hecate returns after a year-long hiatus to provide an update on the podcast and share personal insights on intersectionality, kyriarchy, and the importance of understanding systemic oppression as part of healing from sexual assault and abuse. Hecate discusses the interconnectedness of personal trauma and broader social injustices, and emphasizes the need for community and collective action against systems of oppression. The episode encourages listeners to engage with their communities, leverage their unique gifts for activism, and maintain hope and resilience in tough times.Tw/Cw: Suicide, depression, PTSD, the subject of sexual assault and abuse, fascism, and genocide.00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflection00:56 Podcast Update and Mental Health Struggles05:13 Intersectionality and Systems of Oppression14:49 The Personal is Political29:30 Call to Action and Community Building35:03 Finding Connection and Staying Grounded36:24 The Power of Authenticity38:51 Building Community Through Twitch42:36 Facing Fascism and Finding Resources49:02 Supporting Palestine and Fundraising Efforts52:14 Mental Health and Activism56:39 The River Metaphor: Different Ways to Help01:02:26 Final Thoughts and EncouragementLinks: Podcast Website: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Join Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Hecate's PCRF Fundraiser: https://donate.tiltify.com/4125341b-4f0d-43e0-b017-0019a82b8dde/details Decolonizing Therapy: https://www.decolonizingtherapy.com/ Black Liturgies on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/blackliturgies/?hl=en DevthePineapple on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/devthepineapple/?hl=en Check out Signal for a secure messaging app that won't sell you or your comrades out to the cops: https://signal.org/ YK Hong (An activist to follow everywhere): https://ykhong.com/ Free Zine about fighting Fascism: https://itsgoingdown.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DontJustDoNothing_CounterFascism_IMPOSED.pdf Free Zine about resisting Oligarchy: https://www.instagram.com/p/DFgWbIVPfk1/?img_index=1 Printable Brochure Version: https://www.canva.com/design/DAGdx0uhGuQ/r7PQuF6JlQG6GnzT7iwbRw/edit?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaby7YCPCiYHjNnaDNuFa8b5MwzlqI2OAIrnKGUYE9sK9ML9SVSSRkvV8mk_aem_RuQok6tkGVOdY_XtOOQgSwSupport the show

Sandy Phillips Kirkham is a survivor of clergy abuse and the author of, "Let Me Prey Upon You". Sandy was very active in her church growing up, her faith was the center of her life. When she was 16 her youth pastor groomed and manipulated her into a sexual relationship. After years of abuse she managed to exit the relationship and reclaim her life. Sandy kept her experience a secret for 27 years before she had to face it and begin her healing journey. Today Sandy is a strong advocate for survivors of clergy abuse as a board member of the Council Against Child Abuse and through her work with The Hope of Survivors. Today Sandy will be sharing her story, and we'll be discussing her incredibly powerful book.Sandy Kirkham and her husband Bill enjoy life with their two grown children, two beautiful granddaughters, and two fairly well-behaved dogs. Sandy continues to use her voice to help victims of clergy abuse. She currently serves on the board of Council Against Child Abuse. Sandy has spoken before the Ohio Senate, a Maryland court, and appeared on a local television show in Boston. Her story, “Stolen Innocence,” was told in a documentary produced by The Hope of Survivors. Sandy works with survivors conducting victim support conferences. She has participated in The Voice of the Faithful (VOTF) panels moderated by SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests), sharing her perspective from the non-Catholic point of view. Sandy has been a presenter/speaker at major events on clergy abuse including the Hope & Healing Conference. Sandy has earned a certificate of completion from the Faith Trust Institute entitled, “A Sacred Trust: Boundary Issues for Clergy and Spiritual Teachers.”Sandy's Website: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/Sandy's Book: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/shop/https://bookshop.org/p/books/let-me-prey-upon-you-breaking-free-from-a-minister-s-sexual-abuse-sandy-phillips-kirkham/13830913?ean=9781734195200The Hope of Survivors: http://www.thehopeofsurvivors.org/Council on Child Abuse: https://www.cocachild.org/GRACE: https://www.netgrace.org/SNAP: https://www.snapnetwork.org/Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOKSupport the podcast and become a Patreon member!https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKFinding OK is funded entirely by the generosity of listeners like you!https://www.finding-ok.com/support/Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself

Part 2 of my interview with Andrew Pledger. This episode will focus on Andrew's experience with conversion therapy,  how he found support exiting fundamentalism, his expulsion from BJU,  and the work he's doing healing and speaking out. Andrew was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fundamentalism. Andrew is healing and working hard to spread awareness of religious abuse. His new podcast, "Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult" is exposing BJU's racist and abusive legacy. Andrew's story is of learning to honor your inner voice and follow your intuition, even when everything and everyone around you is telling you it's wrong. Andrew's Website: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/4ndrewpledger/Links: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/linksAndrew's Podcasts-Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult: https://open.spotify.com/show/6zpFerrBjOuNACq1oklIU6Speaking Up: Surviving Religions and Cults: https://shows.acast.com/speaking-up-with-andrew-pledgerAndrew's Interview with Josh Harrishttps://youtu.be/qRwx4OoS2aM?si=Qtv8ifHW5vICIB9WThe Trevor Project - Crisis Hotline for LGBTQ+ youth:https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/Conversion Therapy https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies-and-dangers-of-reparative-therapyPattern of Narcissistic Abusehttps://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/narcissistic-relationship-patternHypnotherapy for Traumahttps://psychcentral.com/health/hypnotherapy-trauma#hypnotherapy-for-treating-traumaIndoctriNation Podcast https://www.podpage.com/indoctrination/Deconstruction Reddit Threadshttps://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/https://www.reddit.com/r/cultsurvivors/?xpromo_edp=enabledFinding OK website: https://www.finding-ok.com/Become a Patreon member!https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKSupport the Show: https://www.finding-ok.com/support/Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOKLetters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself

Andrew Pledger was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fundamentalism. Andrew is healing and working hard to spread awareness of religious abuse. His new podcast, "Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult" is exposing BJU's racist and abusive legacy. Andrew's story is of learning to honor your inner voice and follow your intuition, even when everything and everyone around you is telling you it's wrong. Andrew and I had a wonderful talk which I'll be sharing in two parts. This episode is focused on Andrew's experience of being raised in a Christian cult (IFB), the effect indoctrination had on his mental health, and his time at BJU up until the pandemic. The rest of his story will air next week.Andrew's Website: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/4ndrewpledger/Links: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/linksAndrew's Podcasts-Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult: https://open.spotify.com/show/6zpFerrBjOuNACq1oklIU6 Speaking Up: Surviving Religions and Cults: https://shows.acast.com/speaking-up-with-andrew-pledgerSubjects that came up in discussion-Family Research Council:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Research_Councilhttps://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/extremist-files/group/family-research-councilInstitute in Basic Life Principles & Bill Gothard: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institute_in_Basic_Life_Principleshttps://people.com/who-is-bill-gothard-the-institute-in-basic-life-principles-founder-7506014Umbrella of Authority:https://www.recoveringgrace.org/2014/05/umbrella-of-oppression/Focus on the Family: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Focus_on_the_FamilyGRACE Reports: https://www.netgrace.org/investigation-archiveThe Trevor Project - Crisis Hotline for LGBTQ+ youth:https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/Finding OK website: https://www.finding-ok.com/Become a Patreon member!https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKSupport the Show: https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOKLetters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself

Alice Cottonsox joins me to talk about recovering from childhood abuse, battling Agoraphobia, and facing online hate with humor. Alice is very open about her mental health struggles in her viral videos and she's helping many survivors feel less alone. Alice is being her own parent and raising herself, something that we sometimes have to do post-trauma when prolonged abuse as children has robbed us of the opportunity to grow up the way we deserved.  Alice's Website: https://www.cottonsox.co.uk/Alice's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland?lang=enAlice's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alicecottonsox/Here are some of my favorites of her videos!Going Outside:https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7197807235156757765?lang=enhttps://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7238978249345289498?lang=enhttps://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7237546556323384603?lang=enhttps://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7213016240347024645?lang=enTrauma Talk:https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7217381847066479878?lang=enhttps://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7241885515643899163?lang=enhttps://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7191874000010743046?lang=enhttps://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7188860104647757061?lang=enAlice Being Awesomehttps://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7227840114544741659?lang=enhttps://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7194465830086774022?lang=enhttps://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7174066013716286725?lang=enhttps://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7155122264155884805?lang=enhttps://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7154382013007482118?lang=enHecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOKBecome a Patreon Member: https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKLetters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself

Do you think of yourself as "broken" because of your trauma? What about "wounded"? My sister Chie and I discuss how the language we use to talk about our trauma intersects with our healing. This episode is an invitation to investigate the hidden meaning that some words might be holding for us. I used to think of myself as broken but gradually shifted away from that term as I healed because I realized that for me personally, it implied irreparable harm or uselessness. Chie has very different experience of the word and we share stories that might help you ask yourself some important questions. Chie  has a BA in Somatic Psychology. She is a harpist, Championship Irish Dancer, and singer. She and her partner live in the Midwest with their two puppies.Questions I encourage listeners to ask themselves at the end of the episode:1. What words do I use to talk about my pain or trauma?2. Do these words have any hidden implications that I might not have considered?3. How does my culture interact with broken things? 4. How did my family or the people who raised me interact with broken things when I was growing up?5.  How do my own experiences or medical history impact the way I think about the words, "broken" or "wounded"?6. Do the words I'm using to talk about my trauma keep me in an old thought pattern?7. Are the words I'm using to talk about my trauma healthy or useful to me? Do they need to change?8. What body system do I most relate to and why? Learn more about the history of Kintsugi and see a Master at work:https://traditionalkyoto.com/culture/kintsugi/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LMKGte0UUPodcast Websitehttps://www.finding-ok.com/Letters for the Fire is a listener participation project and an invitation for communal catharsis and healing. Listeners are invited to write a letter to their rapist or abuser and send it to me. At the end of the Season all the letters will be read and then burned in a special episode. Learn more about how to participate here: INSERT LINKHecate's Linkshttps://linktr.ee/FindingOKJoin the Patreon!https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKDonate to Finding OKhttps://www.finding-ok.com/support/Thank you so much for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself

I'm back! Welcome to Season 5! Today I'll be sharing some of what I got up to over my break, letting you know what's new in Season 5, and talking about what's alive for me in my personal healing journey right now. In March my sister Chie and I attended Paganicon 2023, an annual Pagan Convention in the Twin Cities. I know a lot of you have been waiting to hear more about this witchy gathering! I let you know which rituals, workshops, and lectures I attended and which ones were my favorites. I share some of my time at the family cabin in Wisconsin, my progress befriending my local murder of crows, joining my local printmaking studio, and a surprising moment of post traumatic growth and healing I had recently. I'm so excited to be back! Let's gooooo  Paganicon https://tcpaganpride.org/paganicon-landing-page/Laura Tempest Zakroffhttps://lauratempestzakroff.com/Art and Shophttps://owlkeyme.square.site/Omega Artworks - Ritual Bladeshttps://www.omegaartworks.com/Watchful Coyote - Jackhttps://healthecycle.com/TikTokhttps://www.tiktok.com/@watchfulcoyote?lang=enI Got Outhttp://www.igotout.org/Hecate's Linkshttps://linktr.ee/FindingOKJoin Patreonhttps://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKLetters for the Firehttps://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/Support the show

This is the last episode of Season 4! Today I'll be taking some time to thank everyone who made this season possible, updating you about how I'm doing, and what I'll be getting up to over break!New episodes will resume in July 2023. Just because there aren't new episodes doesn't mean there isn't new content! I'm taking time during break to practice self-care, focus on personal growth, and to doing lots of new and exciting things! You can check it out by following me on Twitch and Instagram, or joining Discord or Patreon.I livestream on Twitch multiple times a week and you can still catch me there. Thank you all so much for making this season so special. While this break happens please remember that you are not alone! Please take care of yourself! Survivor Support and Resources https://www.rainn.org/ The planner I usehttps://passionplanner.com/Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist by Ramshackle Gloryhttps://youtu.be/pC3IrqUpm9URamshackle Gloryhttps://ramshackleglory.bandcamp.com/Hecate's Linkshttps://linktr.ee/FindingOKFollow Sage on Twitch and join the weekly Twitch and Paint event!https://www.twitch.tv/sagecirceFollow me on twitch too! My paint stream is on 3/25/23https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingokA friend and fellow survivor wrote this beautiful book of poetry! Check it out!https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Dare-Teach-Daughter-Forest/dp/172595933XJoin Patreon!https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKThank you for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself!Support the show

Letters for the Fire is a listener participation project. Listeners were invited to write a letter to their rapist or abuser, and I promised to read them before burning them in a ritual. The goal is to create a community opportunity for catharsis, release, and healing. Today I will be reading your letters so your words can be heard. A video of the letter burning ritual will be made available later. A link will be included in episode notes when it is ready.Hecate's Linkshttps://linktr.ee/FindingOKDonate to Finding OKhttps://www.finding-ok.com/support/Join the Patreon!https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKThank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself

Ruth is a survivor who has been facing her past and doing the work. She's a listener who is sharing some of her story and discussing some of the steps she's been taking in her life to heal. She's been meeting her trauma with courage, humanity, and grace that I know others will find inspiring. We discuss her assault by a family member, how her recent meeting with him went, her experiences within the Salvation Army Church, how Purity Culture has affected her, her struggles with suicidal ideation, and her experience with EMDR therapy. Ruth speaks so honestly and openly about the struggles we all face as survivors and I know her words and experiences will resonate with others.Ruth is a Midwesterner who enjoys music, singing, painting, and taking walks in the woods. She has an interest in studying reptiles and amphibians in the future. She has a fluffy orange cat named Wesley Besley who keeps her warm and loved on. Ruth is still in the midst of her healing journey after multiple sexual assaults throughout the first 20 years of her life. She is sharing her story to let some shame go, and to help other survivors feel less alone.Salvation Army Rules "Soldier's Covenant"https://www.salvationarmy.org/ihq/56C765982907E8E6802573B1004E4E37Salvation Army Suckshttps://imgur.com/gallery/7OZCIOMhttps://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/12/16/21003560/salvation-army-anti-lgbtq-controversies-donationsMe Too Many Voices Community Support Network - Love them! Give them a follow!https://www.instagram.com/mtmvcommunity/https://www.instagram.com/p/CgdIqU4sW3N/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_linkJudith Slaying Holofernes by Artemisia Gentileschihttps://smarthistory.org/gentileschi-judith-slaying-holofernes/Inner Decay - Where to find the patch! Let's start a gang! lolhttps://innerdecay.com/Hecate's Linkshttps://linktr.ee/FindingOKDonate to Finding OKhttps://www.finding-ok.com/support/Join the Patreon!https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKSupport the show

My sister Chie joins me to talk about our evolving understanding of self-care and emotional regulation. We are both survivors navigating life and CPTSD. I hope you'll join us for some laughter and real talk.Chie  has a BA in Somatic Psychology. She is a harpist, Championship Irish Dancer, and singer. She and her partner live in the Midwest with their two puppies.Internal Family Systems Therapyhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapySpoon Theoryhttps://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/Assertive Communication - DBT "Dear Man" https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/dear-man.phpCurable App - Chronic Pain App (Chie recommends)https://www.curablehealth.com/?gclid=CjwKCAiA5Y6eBhAbEiwA_2ZWIaUxUI-x1o1YSUpLLMhLeSdP70UiI0-_Dd8-vDyXrLwBWAFAkjJB8xoCJmEQAvD_BwETED Talk - Music and the Brainhttps://www.ted.com/talks/anita_collins_how_playing_an_instrument_benefits_your_brain?language=enI Sing the Body Electric, Especially When My Power's Out - Andrea Gibsonhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAySTOeC2NYSupport the show

Obelis is a Lithuanian Fantasy and LGBTQ+ comic artist. Her work includes War & Tea, Meow Are You?, and The Recloseted Lesbian. Obelis tried to come out as a lesbian but was forced back into the closet by her ultra-religious, homophobic, and abusive mother. In The Recloseted Lesbian she deconstructs and processes memories from her abusive childhood. It has been read by over 21 million people on Webtoon. As she does her own trauma work she is helping survivors feel less alone. Obelis Linktreehttps://linktr.ee/ObelisThe Recloseted Lesbian on Webtoonhttps://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/the-recloseted-lesbian/list?title_no=474263Obelis on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/obelis.art/Obelis Patreonhttps://www.patreon.com/obelis/postsDonate to Finding OKhttps://www.finding-ok.com/support/Join Hecate's Patreon to support the podcast and gain access to bonus content.New $1 Tier!https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKHecate Livestreams!https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingokHecate's new YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI7XjO5ELI7a5yuWAtcHr1QThank you so much for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself.Support the show

Kalpashree Gupta joins me to share her journey in healing from childhood sexual abuse. We discuss letting go of shame and blame, what forgiveness means to her, breaking cycles of family trauma, and where she's found strength, grace, and empowerment.Kalpa is the CEO and founder of Knekxt Group, a consulting and coaching company helping her clients build trust, and mitigate risks while also creating internal awareness for the high achievers who, like herself, have used their achievements to deflect from dealing with trauma. Her mission is to impact 100 million lives in 10 years. Prior to that, she led several leadership roles with fortune 500 companies such as American Express, Zelle/Early Warning Services, in product and fraud risk management, including early career with GE in India, and brief stints with Bristol Myers Squibb, and Mayo Clinic in brand management and consulting. Knekxt Grouphttps://knekxt.com/Book of Forgivinghttps://bookshop.org/p/books/the-book-of-forgiving-the-fourfold-path-for-healing-ourselves-and-our-world-desmond-tutu/15542765?ean=9780062203571The Body Keeps the Scorehttps://bookshop.org/p/books/the-body-keeps-the-score-brain-mind-and-body-in-the-healing-of-trauma-bessel-van-der-kolk/6679040?ean=9780143127741Waking the Tigerhttps://bookshop.org/p/books/waking-the-tiger-healing-trauma-the-innate-capacity-to-transform-overwhelming-experiences-peter-a-levine/8303096The Drama of the Gifted Childhttps://bookshop.org/p/books/the-drama-of-the-gifted-child-the-search-for-the-true-self-third-edition-alice-miller/12380815?ean=9780465016907&gclid=CjwKCAiAy_CcBhBeEiwAcoMRHPkGNIsrj529Y5B_q_aw1bmH2V3tKRCaN0y6wXJWYOlooLVrW5i3jRoCCPkQAvD_BwEACE Test and Articlehttps://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-meanTED Talk - Nadine Burke Harris - How childhood trauma affects health accross a lifetimehttps://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime?language=enLetters for the Firehttps://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/Join Hecate's Patreon!https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKHecate Livestreams on TwFire Footwear: A Sneaker PodcastJoin host Matty Ice every week as he discusses the best stories within sneaker culture. Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifySupport the show

Michelle M. Kang is the founder and president of One Life One Heart, a nonprofit organization which helps underserved sexual abuse survivors by offering culturally sensitive community support. She has dedicated herself to creating safe spaces where survivors can feel heard, regain their self-confidence, and fulfill their purpose in life. Michelle was born in South Korea, she has PhDs in Linguistics and Education, and she is the current Dean of the School of Foreign Languages at Saigon International University in Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam. In this episode she talks about how the trauma of childhood sibling sexual assault affected her, and the powerful role that faith has played in her healing. She discusses the work that she does with One Life One Heart and shares her passion for supporting survivors.One Life One Hearthttps://onelifeoneheartinternational.org/Michelle's Story - She has a book!https://www.amazon.com/dp/1543114660/Learn More: Child Sexual Abusehttps://www.rainn.org/articles/child-sexual-abuseLearn More: Incesthttps://www.rainn.org/articles/incestLetters for the Firehttps://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/Donate to Finding OKhttps://www.finding-ok.com/support/Become a Patreon Member to support the podcast and gain access to bonus content!https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKTwitch Livestreams with Hecate!https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingokNew Finding OK You Tube Channel!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI7XjO5ELI7a5yuWAtcHr1QThank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself.Support the show

Paula Mulamula is the host of the Mental Health podcast, Talk Shit With P where she focuses on real talk and breaking the stigma surrounding mental health issues. Today Paula is breaking her silence and sharing her story of surviving sexual assault and reclaiming her power post-trauma.  She also shares how podcasting helped her find her way out of depression, how faith has re-entered her life and become a part of her healing, and how self-care helps her through the difficult times in life. Paula is originally from Tanzania, she has traveled and lived all over the world and now makes her home in Atlanta, Georgia where she talks shit and is fabulous. Talk Shit With Phttps://open.spotify.com/show/0HSn3hI86EWSQmpYgBFjL9Hecate's Guest Episodes on TSWPhttps://open.spotify.com/episode/6RkdAR4VdWydlhdSU5yBEx?si=1c669cb97d8d4570https://open.spotify.com/episode/0jjng1kpPhETrFOHznlGXz?si=d-AYRUVJQCa7SkJwTzg27QTSWP Merchhttps://talkshitwithp.shop/Press on Paulahttps://canvasrebel.com/meet-paula-sima-mulamula/https://herforward.com/a-mental-health-advocate-suggests-talking-shit/Paula's Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/talkshitwithpBuy Paula a Coffee!https://www.buymeacoffee.com/talkshitwithpPaula's Linkshttps://www.flowcode.com/page/talkshitwithpTesting and Reporting Info (USA)https://www.rainn.org/articles/rape-kitJoin Hecate on Twitch 11/29/22 @8p EST for a special Finding OK Livestream Q&A with special guest, Kaitlin Bellamy from episodes "Purity Culture is Grooming Parts 1&2". Join us in chat and ask us anything! https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingokFinding OK Letters for the Fire Project - Deadline for Entries is 12/31/22https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/Donate to Finding OKhttps://www.finding-ok.com/support/Become a Patreon Member to support Finding OK and gain access to bonus contenthttps://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKSupport the show

Emi is a survivor of family sexual abuse; she was molested by a family member over a long period of time as a young kid. After spending over a decade hiding from her past she decided to try to heal from it. Her healing journey led her to starting her own podcast: Motherful: Powerful Moms, Powerful Topics. Her co-host is her best friend Kayla, together they tackle the many difficult social and mental health issues that have affected their lives and made them who they are.Emi is a mom, a podcaster, writer, wedding planner, a cat lover, and a survivor of sexual abuse. Motherful: Powerful Moms, Powerful Topicshttps://open.spotify.com/show/4QprfSM0CI6gUxizyVdBnK?si=06eaed550e1441c4Motherful Episodes with Emi's Story:Emi's Story: Childhood Sexual Assaulthttps://open.spotify.com/episode/5TR05HDyRD3p8dVpdDDsDaBirth Stories: Planned & Unexpected Part 2https://open.spotify.com/episode/4aiFZ05BwirzGhpbi60UkyMystery Topic: Abortionhttps://open.spotify.com/episode/6z9cmiWBBDcJpuDmZLfBmXHealing Family Traumahttps://open.spotify.com/episode/3SzSI4JKW6YV2dSEGHMZdzMotherful Social Links:https://www.facebook.com/MotherfulPodcasthttps://www.instagram.com/motherful_podcast/?hl=enSupport the show

Hollis Brown's platform as Miss Wisconsin USA is focused on survivor advocacy, and she's a part of End Violence Against Women International's “Start By Believing” campaign. Today Hollis speaks about her assault in college, how trauma changed her life, where she has found strength, and the work she's doing in the world. Originally from Savannah, Georgia and now residing in Milwaukee, Hollis Brown is a 26-year-old sports marketer, podcast host, mentor, public speaker, model, youth educator, nonprofit founder, and Miss Wisconsin USA 2022.  For the past year she has worked with the Milwaukee Bucks where she began as a Sales Associate and was promoted to Coordinator of Partner Strategy and Management November 2021.  As a podcast host, she is able to empower young women pursuing careers and as a nonprofit founder, she provides resources to help support sexual assault victims through their journey to healing.  Hollis is a high school graduate of Savannah Arts Academy and college graduate of Virginia Tech.  For over 18 years, she trained nationally in ballet, contemporary, and tap dance.  For fun, Hollis enjoys hot yoga, solving escape rooms, and kickboxing.  Hollis will compete for the coveted title of Miss USA during the national broadcast later this year and if she wins, will advance to the internationally televised 2022 Miss Universe competition.Hollis Brown Websitehttps://www.holliscbrown.com/Hollis's Storyhttps://evawintl.org/survivor-voices/hollis-brown-2/EVAWI - End Violence Against Women Internationalhttps://evawintl.org/Vote for Hollis! - Miss USA Viewer's choice (Cost about $2)https://missusa.com/miss-contestants/More Info:The Red Zone is the period of time between mid August and Thanksgiving break. Over 50% of college sexual assaults occur during this time period. https://www.shatteringthesilence.org/red-zoneArticles explaining Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn (or Appease). This came up in the episode and I wanted to provide an explanation because we didn't talk more about it. Your response is natural, it's valid. and it's not your fault. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-and-recovery/202008/understanding-fight-flight-freeze-and-the-fawn-responsehttps://www.simplypsychology.org/fight-flight-freeze-fawn.htmlFinding OKhttps://www.finding-ok.com/Donatehttps://www.finding-ok.com/support/Join the Patreon to support the podcast and gain exclusive access to bonus material, a look behind the scenes, and occasional video episodes! Tier 3 members gain access to Hollis's video episode.https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Letters for the Fire - Information and submission instructionshttps://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/Support the show

Part 2 of my conversation with Kaitlin Bellamy about what it was like for her growing up in the Mormon Church and the ways that purity culture contributed to the abuse she experienced in her marriage. Purity Culture grooms people to enable, accept, and perpetrate abuse. She shares her healing journey now that she is free to be her full, authentic self.Kaitlin Bellamy is a professional actor and young adult fantasy author with a hero complex currently living in Orlando, Florida. She is an avid collector of hobbies and special interests, and hopes to someday make a living as a full time content creator. She is an autistic, polyamorous chaos witch, with a specialization in cozy comfort vibes and making other people feel safe.This episode was recorded before the most recent news broke about the Mormon Church protecting abusers and allowing child abuse to continue. The issues we discuss are very relevant and I'll be including a few articles in episode notes. I wanted to explain why these current events are not addressed directly in the episode.Please help Kaitlin afford her rent and keep her housing by donating if you can! Donation links below!LinksPixie's Website:http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/Books:http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/bookshop.htmlhttps://smile.amazon.com/Kaitlin-Bellamy/e/B07GK1R7FX?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1660652330&sr=8-1Donate to Pixie:https://ko-fi.com/chaospixiemagichttps://streamelements.com/chaospixiemagic/tipPixie's Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/ChaosPixieMagichttps://www.patreon.com/m/reprpgPixie's D&D Merch:https://www.reprpg.com/shopHecate's Patreon - Become a member to support the podcast and for exclusive access to bonus material. https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKDonate to Finding OK:https://www.finding-ok.com/support/Mormon Church Abuse Article:TW/CW for this article!https://apnews.com/article/Mormon-church-sexual-abuse-investigation-eThe Enthusiasm ProjectDeep dives exploring the world of what it means to be an independent creator.Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifySupport the show

Kaitlin Bellamy shares what it was like for her growing up in the Mormon Church and discusses the ways that purity culture contributed to the abuse she experienced in her marriage. Purity Culture grooms people to enable, accept, and perpetrate abuse and assault. She shares her healing journey now that she is free to be her full, authentic self. Kaitlin Bellamy is a professional actor and young adult fantasy author with a hero complex currently living in Orlando, Florida. She is an avid collector of hobbies and special interests, and hopes to someday make a living as a full time content creator. She is an autistic, polyamorous chaos witch, with a specialization in cozy comfort vibes and making other people feel safe.This episode was recorded before the most recent news broke about the Mormon Church protecting abusers and allowing child abuse to continue. The issues we discuss are very relevant and I'll be including a few articles in episode notes. I wanted to explain why these current events are not addressed directly in the episode. Please help Kaitlin afford her rent and keep her housing by donating if you can!LinksPixie's Website:http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/Books:http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/bookshop.htmlhttps://smile.amazon.com/Kaitlin-Bellamy/e/B07GK1R7FX?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1660652330&sr=8-1Donate to Pixie:https://ko-fi.com/chaospixiemagichttps://streamelements.com/chaospixiemagic/tipPixie's Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/ChaosPixieMagichttps://www.patreon.com/m/reprpgPixie's D&D Merch:https://www.reprpg.com/shopHecate's Patreon - Become a member to support the podcast and for exclusive access to bonus material. https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKDonate to Finding OK:https://www.finding-ok.com/support/Mormon Church Abuse Articles:TW/CW for these articles!https://apnews.com/article/Mormon-church-sexual-abuse-investigation-e0e39cf9aa4fbe0d8c1442033b894660https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/08/10/mormon-church-child-sexual-abuse/The Enthusiasm ProjectDeep dives exploring the world of what it means to be an independent creator.Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Surviving Abuse Podcast Surviving Abuse Podcast is a show designed to bring hope, healing, and education to...Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifySupport the show

In 2006 I was assaulted and stalked by a monk in India. In this episode I share my journal entries recording this experience and then discuss the ways this trauma has affected my life. I discuss the intersecting issues of race, culture, and gender; as well as the importance of anti-racism work in trauma healing. I share the way that being assaulted while menstruating can affect the way trauma is embodied and experienced afterwards. During this experience I talked my way out of further violence or the escalation of violence, I share my thoughts about "manipulation" as a survival technique. Being stalked was deeply traumatizing; I share some of the PTSD symptoms I experienced, how they affected my life, and interfered with my ability to get an education. Join me on Twitch!https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingokLetters for the Fire - learn morehttps://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/Join the Patreon to support the podcast and gain exclusive access to bonus contenthttps://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKSupport the show

In this episode my friend Sage and I listen to audio we recorded two years ago during lockdown and reflect on it. We talk about (and feel our way through) some of the very intense systemic issues we're facing in America and in the world. We talk about self-care, finding ways to keep moving forward, staying resilient, and finding ways to engage and stay hopeful.Sage is the creator of Real Human Better, a Social Permaculture course and community. She loves permaculture, compost, food made with love, deep conversation, horror movies, playing with her dog, gaming, and ITS Bellydance...our dogs are besties.Sage on Twitchhttps://www.twitch.tv/sagecirceSage on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/sagecirce/?hl=enReal Human Betterhttps://www.facebook.com/Real-Human-Better-101628431484897/?ref=page_internalJoin the Discord server! Invite link can be found on the Facebook page!Real Human Better on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/real.human.better/?hl=enMankind Projecthttps://mankindproject.org/Active Hope - How to face the mess we're in with unexpected resilience and creative powerhttps://www.activehope.info/Book:https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781608687107Touch Isolation Articleshttps://remakingmanhood.medium.com/touch-isolation-how-homophobia-has-robbed-all-men-of-touch-239987952f16https://slate.com/human-interest/2013/11/male-affection-and-touch-homophobia-ruins-platonic-touch-for-straight-men.htmlhttps://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/megasahd-touch-isolation-how-homophobia-has-robbed-men-of-touch/Passion Planner - my favorite planner made by a small company that started as a Kickstarter.https://passionplanner.com/Hecate on Twitch! Join me for gaming, ASMR, art, and podcast Q&A livestreams!https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingokJoin the Patreon to support the podcast and gain exclusive access to bonus content!https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKSupport the show

We're back! In this episode I'll be sharing what I've been up to on my break, what I have planned for this season of the podcast, and I'll be talking about a really rough day I had last week in the wake of Roe vs Wade being overturned.Letters for the Fire is back in Season 4! This is a listener participation project. I am inviting survivors to write a letter to their r*pist or abuser and then send it to me. It's is my hope that this will help others with catharsis and closure. I want you to feel heard and to have control over the way that you're heard.  You can listen to the Letters for the Fire episode from Season 3 and check out this link to learn more about the project and how to participate:https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire/I am currently fundraising to afford a transcript service in order to make Finding OK more accessible to the deaf, hearing impaired, and neurodivergent communities. This will also help immensely with podcast growth and visibility. Please consider helping out by becoming a Patreon member or by making a one time donation via PayPal. https://www.finding-ok.com/support/You can also donate live on Twitch if you want to see me smile! Follow me to join Finding OK Q&A livestreams and join me while I edit and record new episodes...I also play games, chat, do ASMR, read books, paint, and occasionally do tattoo!https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingokShout out to my Patreon Members Sedonka, Kathleen, and Betty for their incredible support and for making this podcast possible! I love and appreciate you so much!

This is the last episode of Season 3! Today I'll be taking some time to thank everyone who made this season possible, updating you about my plans and exciting new content during my break, as well as letting you know about some changes moving forward with Season 4!New episodes will resume 7/5/22. Just because there aren't new episodes doesn't mean there isn't new content! I'm taking the time during break to do lots of new and exciting things!I'm a Twitch Affiliate and you can hang out with me there all the time! New Finding OK  Q&A livestreams will be starting there soon as well! Ask me questions about your favorite episodes, suggest subjects for Season 4, and talk about the things that matter to you.I'm a variety streamer that loves Sims, Indie games, ASMR, Art, Tattoo, and Among Us. I'll be very present on Twitch during my break and I hope to see you there!https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingokVisit my website to get a link to join my Discord server! Join watch parties, chat, read articles, share memes and pictures of your pets! It's whatever we want it to be!Join my Patreon to gain early access to an episode that will be dropping over break, and also to the video episodes I'll be sharing as I teach myself how to edit video over break! Check it out here: https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK)

Earlier in Season 3 I invited listeners to participate in a project called Letters for the Fire. It was an invitation for communal catharsis and healing. I invited listeners to write a letter to their rapist or abuser, and I would read it in an episode, and then burn all of them in a ritual. Here are the letters I received from listeners. Thank you so much everyone who has made this powerful project possible!A link to a video video of the letters burning will be shared here later on, check back later!The video is delayed due to technical difficulties. Thank you for you patience. Support:https://www.rainn.org/Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK)

In this episode I share my experience of anal rape, discuss the dangerous myth that boys/men/AMAB people can't control themselves, discuss consent, and talk about some of the reasons why it was so difficult for me to identify this particular assault as valid and as a rape.Sexual Assault can happen to anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Women and AFAB people experience anal rape too and it is not discussed enough. Because anal sex continues to be taboo in out culture there is an extra layer of shame and stigma that survivors of anal rape face on their path to healing. I hope that by sharing this story I can help others feel less alone.The Episode CoverThe episode cover is an actual photo of me and my abuser that was taken the year this assault took place. It is run through a filter to protect identities. Without context the photo looks innocent enough, but within the context of an abusive relationship the image changes. I was standing tall and confident and he is seen pulling at my arm to spin me around, or pull me to him. It was a moment I know must have appeared charming or romantic to outsiders.  Episode Notes:Resource for Survivorshttps://www.rainn.org/The Myths http://www.consented.ca/myths/perpetrators-cant-help-themselves/TW: This article contains graphic details of sexual assaulthttps://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/07/01/my-own-rape-shows-how-badly-we-stereotype-perps-and-victims/Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK)

Vanessa is a veteran and a survivor of sexual assault within the military. Vanessa shares her story of trauma, her feelings of shame and lack of self-worth, and her spiral into depression which nearly ended in suicide. She found strength and she has moved into a place of growth, empowerment, self-love, and healing. Vanessa is sharing her story in the hope that it will help others find their own strength and feel less alone.Episode Noteshttps://www.rainn.org/For Veterans:https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/index.asp?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=search-va&utm_content=mental-health&utm_term=veterans%20affairs%20suicide&gclid=Cj0KCQiAnuGNBhCPARIsACbnLzraUHWNq6E6eCF_zXPFw6ioOy9ZbM6Ecyjj9ZZuiEDoTEow237hYH8aAr2HEALw_wcBMore About Military Sexual Assaulthttps://www.rand.org/pubs/research_reports/RRA1318-1.html#:~:text=One%20in%2016%20women%20and,and%20one%20in%2016%20men.https://www.rand.org/news/press/2021/07/19.htmlTW for this articlehttps://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/03/magazine/military-sexual-assault.htmlSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Kelly Thiel exited the notorious NXIVM cult and shares her journey with healing and deprogramming in the aftermath of indoctrination. She has taken her power back and is helping others to do the same. Kelly is an accomplished voice actress, author, speaker, consultant, and the driving force behind her new platform, Be Glorious. Kelly was a member of the NXIVM cult and after exiting she appeared in the critically acclaimed documentary “Seduced”. She is set to release her first book in January 2022, “Unapologetically Glorious”. Kelly's Websitehttps://www.kellythiel.com/Remember to keep an eye out for Kelly's book in January 2022!Resources for Cult Recovery and Educationhttps://seduceddocumentary.com/cult-resources/Take Back Your Lifehttps://bookshop.org/books/taking-back-your-life-recovering-from-cults-and-abusive-relationships/9780972002158https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001RNPD9M/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1Headspace - Kelly's Meditation app recommendationhttps://www.headspace.com/I Got Outhttps://www.instagram.com/igotout_org/Seduced - documentaryhttps://seduceddocumentary.com/The Vow - documentaryhttps://www.hbo.com/the-vowSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Denise Bossarte is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and now she is helping others heal.  Join us for a conversation about Denise's healing journey as well as her beautiful book, "Thriving After Sexual Abuse: Break Free from the Bondage of Your Past and Live a Life You Love".   Denise Bossarte is an award-winning writer, poet, photographer, and artist. Denise is a certified meditation facilitator and contemplative arts teacher. She is an IT professional working for a large urban school district. Denise holds a BA in chemistry, an MS in computer science, and a PhD in developmental neuroscience. And she is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Denise lives in Texas with her husband, Randy, and literary cat, Sapphira.GIVEAWAY!Post about Finding OK on the social media platform of your choice to enter! It can be a link to your favorite episode, the link to the podcast website, or a heartfelt post - tag Hecate or send in a screenshot to enter. The winner will be chosen at random and receive a signed, personalized copy of Denise's incredible book! Winner will be announced in the next episode on 12/22!Episode Notes:Denise's Websitehttps://thrivingaftersexualabusebook.com/Buy the Book!https://www.amazon.com/Thriving-After-Sexual-Abuse-Bondage-ebook/dp/B0937GR5MR/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8Join Hecate's Patreon!https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOKFor the cost of a cup of coffee you can help keep the podcast alive!If even a small fraction of listeners gave even $1 the podcast would be fully fundedAny help is deeply appreciated

 Anna grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family as part of the Quiverfull movement. She and her six siblings were not allowed to attend school and were very isolated from the outside world. Everything about her childhood was strictly controlled, from the clothes she wore to the media she had access to. She was expected to teach herself from primarily religious texts as well as teaching and caring for the younger children. Her future was laid out for her as a submissive wife and mother to many children. She left at 19 with help from family, starting life in a very unfamiliar world with little education was daunting but also thrilling. Seven years later she's still sifting through memories. She makes videos on TikTok recounting her experiences, and has found that many other folks grew up in similar circumstances. Many kids are undoubtedly still in that situation and Anna hopes she can raise awareness and play a part in helping others.Coalition for Responsible Home Education - recommended resourcehttps://responsiblehomeschooling.org/ TikToksHomeschoolinghttps://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7025738255169604870?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/6991106244157132038?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070Growing Up in a Culthttps://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/6985522389207567622?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7003110109895347461?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7010967459436023045?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7013846570139405574?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070Being Fabuloushttps://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7027553385402436869?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

We all experience Death/Rebirth Cycles in our lives, periods of profound transformation and growth. These cycles are often painful and difficult. In this episode I share something that has helped me to better keep my balance and move more gracefully through these times in my own life. Finding OK has a Patreon! Join for access to exclusive posts, pics, clips, and even the occasional video episode! Listener contributions are what keep Finding OK alive

This is a personal and raw episode where I share the story of one of my assaults. Coercion isn't consent. Two Hundred "No's" and one "Yes" is still "No".  If you have a similar story, you are not alone and it wasn't your fault. It was rape. Your trauma is valid.Episode Notes:Consent:https://www.rainn.org/articles/what-is-consentGuest Interview with BardicSway on Twitch for RAINN Fundraiser - LIMITED TIME ONLYThis is me! Talking! with my FACE! Join Twitch to join me for livestreams! @Hecate_FindingOKPart 1https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1124490772?filter=archives&sort=timePart 2https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1124542439?filter=archives&sort=timeSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Join me for a beautiful talk with Sandra Cooze. Sandra is an intuitive mentor and coach, spiritual advisor, advanced soul realignment practitioner, jewelry designer, loving wife and mother, and the author of, “Journey to Your Self, How to Heal from Trauma, Written by Someone Who Did”. We discuss her book, her healing journey, her coaching practice, crystal healing, reiki, TIR trigger release, ancestral healing, and the Akashic records.I forgot to mention it in the episode but Finding OK is 2 years old today!! Is it a Podcast birthday or anniversary? Either way - YAY and thank you for listening!!  Sandra's Websitehttps://riseaboveyourstory.com/Sandra's Bookhttps://riseaboveyourstory.com/product/journey-to-your-self-signed-copy/https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/journey-to-your-self-how-to-heal-from-trauma-sandra-cooze/1138885647?ean=9781950895793&fbclid=IwAR2c8GYZiVdyhX8hTRdUwNBgToB6NCKnbx0XTM1AlkKNvHyFRNmiHqdSgqchttps://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1950895793?pf_rd_r=40J98K6817315670Q3T5&pf_rd_p=6fc81c8c-2a38-41c6-a68a-f78c79e7253f&pd_rd_r=e0315329-3bba-479d-a17c-b1804413aebb&pd_rd_w=m8v4G&pd_rd_wg=awupD&ref_=pd_gw_unkSandra's Jewelryhttps://riseaboveyourstory.com/ethereal-soul-jewelry/TIRhttps://www.tira.org/Reikihttps://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/308772#where-can-I-get-reikiCrystal Vaultshttps://www.crystalvaults.com/Crystals mentioned in the episode:Larimarhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larimarhttps://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/larimar/Black Tourmalinehttps://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/black-tourmaline/Selenitehttps://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/selenite/Obsidian (black and snowflake were mentioned)https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/obsidian/Citrinehttps://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/citrine/Quartz (clear)https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/quartz/Amethysthttps://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/amethyst/Moldavite (use with care)https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/moldavite/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Sage rejoins me for this episode as we laugh and cover some pretty intense subjects. We discuss post-trauma kink shaming, sex, sexuality, and physical responses. We are sexual beings and trauma can affect us all in very different ways! You are valid and however you get down is valid as long as you're not harming others without their consent! Episode Note:Bailey Sarian - who we mentioned in the episodehttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtNdVINwfYFTQEEZgMiQ8FATeeth (2008) - TW for movie and articlehttps://www.vice.com/en/article/j5x957/teeth-is-the-feminist-horror-classic-that-men-tried-to-sabotageTOS does not allow me to share links to the various sites or toy producers that Sage recommends. These can be found in a post via my BuyMeACoffee site where you can become a member and support the podcast.Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Letters for the Fire is an invitation for survivors to write a letter to their rapist or abuser and send it to me. It is one of the deepest honors of my life to hold this space. I want to find more ways to help facilitate healing, to help survivors find their strength, and to help them feel connected, seen, and held. Letters for the fire feels like a part of that and if it feels right for you I hope you'll entrust me with your letter.Include instructions in the subject of your email- "Read in episode", I will read your letter aloud in an episode of the podcast.- "Read and burn", I will read your letter to myself and burn it.- "Burn unread", I will burn your letter without reading it.Visit the podcast website to contact me.https://www.finding-ok.com/There are now membership options via BuyMeACoffee! By becoming a member you help support the podcast and gain access to exclusive behind the scenes extras!https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOKSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Cara Elizabeth is the creator of the Animal Pharmacy Deck. Cara is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and when she couldn't find the healing tools that worked for her she created her own..Cara Elizabeth is an artist who resides in Brooklyn. She received her Bachelor's degree from Massachusetts College of Art and Design with a focus in Painting and her MFA in Experimental Animation from CalArts. She is a Baháʼí and grew up in a Baháʼí family, which fostered her search to independently investigate all spiritual teachings and the science of reality. .Cara Elizabeth credits her decades of complex PTSD, due to childhood sexual trauma, as not only her greatest asset but what led to her creation of Animal Pharmacy. After very little success with healing from both western and alternative medical practices, Cara finally chose to no longer look outside of herself to fix what was broken, but, instead to go within and heal herself. This is how Animal Pharmacy was born.Animal Pharmacy Websitehttps://www.animalpharmacycards.com/Scriptinghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QODevecChWsTikTokhttps://www.tiktok.com/@animalpharmacy?lang=enInstagramhttps://www.instagram.com/animalpharmacy/?hl=enAndrea Gibson - I Sing the Body Electric, Especially When My Power's Outhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAySTOeC2NYSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

NJ Lechnir joins me to discuss his book, "Addiction, Loss and Recovery: How to Deeply Understand the Mindset of Addictive Behavior and Win the Battle".  NJ shares the difficulties of growing up with an alcoholic father, his struggles with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, and how he has transformed former areas of insecurity into strengths that he shares with others.  NJ is the author of two self-published books titled, Addiction Loss and Recovery: How to Deeply Understand the Mindset of Addictive Behavior and Win the Battle and, Leapfrogging Success: 5 Simple Steps to Powerful Presentations and Public Speaking for Nerds, Techies and Introverts. Having struggled with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts all his life, and always struggling with intense anxiety of public speaking, he decided to break out of his shell and change all of that. In his books, NJ goes deep into his past and describes events that shape who he is today. Working as a successful Learning and Development professional, he is also founder of a revolutionary platform called The LEAPS Method, a 5 step framework that he developed and teaches in learning courses, workshops, books, articles, videos, and personalized coaching to help anxious analytical introverts like himself become powerful speakers and presenters. NJ loves reading, running, and photography. He is a loving husband and father of six children.Episode Notes:Websitehttps://leapfroggingsuccess.com/Bookshttps://leapfroggingsuccess.com/download-resources/https://www.amazon.com/Leapfrogging-Success-Powerful-Presentations-Introverts-ebook/dp/B071FL81DCMediumhttps://medium.com/@njlechnirSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Welcome to Season 3! In today's episode I thank everyone who has made Finding OK possible, I share what I got up to on my break, and let you know about some changes with the podcast moving forward. I'm back!Ramshackle Gloryhttps://ramshackleglory.bandcamp.com/Talk Shit With P - guest episodeshttps://open.spotify.com/episode/6RkdAR4VdWydlhdSU5yBExhttps://open.spotify.com/episode/6RkdAR4VdWydlhdSU5yBExBishPuddin666 on Twitchhttps://www.twitch.tv/bishpuddin666Sway_ASMR on Twitchhttps://www.twitch.tv/sway_asmrPlay FM - Best Sexual Assault Podcasts of 2021https://player.fm/podcasts/Sexual-AssaultNCChttps://www.notcoolclub.co.uk/https://www.facebook.com/notcoolucl/The Every Voice Coalitionhttps://www.everyvoicecoalition.org/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Jackie Roby shares her healing journey and the work she does in the world with healing and wellness travel. Jackie and I discuss the importance of asking for help, showing up authentically in personal and professional spaces, secret keeping and communication in families, healing from childhood sexual abuse, diversity, and anti-racism work. She shares how healing and wellness travel has transformed her life and helped her heal and release shame.Jackie is a speaker, podcaster, writer, solution strategist, social media amplifier, yoga lover, travel addict, fierce foodie, empath to the core, wife, mother, and the CEO of Inspired Journey Consulting.  Jackie's Websitehttps://inspiredjourneyconsulting.com/Jackie's Blog - Through Inspired Eyeshttps://inspiredjourneyconsulting.com/blog/Jackie's Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/through-inspired-eyes-travel-can-heal/id1544605633Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/inspiredjourneyconsulting/?hl=enBooks recommended by Jackiehttps://bookshop.org/books/excuse-me-your-life-is-waiting-the-astonishing-power-of-feelings/9781571747358https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/129603.You_Can_Heal_Your_Lifehttps://bookshop.org/books/big-magic-creative-living-beyond-fear/9781594634727Jackie and I both love this meditation app!https://insighttimer.com/meditation-apphttps://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spotlightsix.zentimerlite2&hl=en_US&gl=USMarco Polo Apphttps://www.marcopolo.me/https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=co.happybits.marcopoloSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Santéresa shares her story of trauma and healing, her experience reporting rape and going through the justice system, and she discusses her beautiful book, "Releasing My Secret: A 30 Day Devotional to Support Your Healing Process". She talks about her work at the Rape Crisis Center and how she created Inspired By U to help people become their full and whole selves. She also shares the importance of faith in her life and her healing journey.  Santéresa Wilson is the CEO of Inspired By U, LLC, she is an inspirational speaker, author, Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, she has served as a Certified Mentor Volunteer with Prison Fellowship and a Sexual Assault Response Team Volunteer Advocate for her local Rape Crisis Center. She holds her degree in Divinity from Christian Leaders College.Websitehttps://santeresaw.com/"Releasing My Secret: A 30 Day Devotional to Support Your Healing Process"https://www.amazon.com/Santeresa-Wilson/e/B07ZZGL8BPTake Back The Night Speech (TW)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfCK0fW9As4Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Eliot returns to the show to chat with me about various ways that the pandemic is affecting us. While chatting the other day we discovered each of us was putting the other up on a pedestal as a person who had been "productive" during the pandemic, and then devaluing our own accomplishments. We talk about video games, virtual community, social issues, mental health, productivity, neurodivergence, burnout, self-care, art school, sleep hygiene, and valuing yourself and your unique contributions. Laughs and F-bombs ahoy!Artwork used in cover by Eliot!Tw/Cw: Depression, anxiety, trauma, addiction, substances, Covid-19, and the pandemicReal Human Better is now on Discord!https://discordapp.com/channels/@me/812871061670068224/821134783735267338Real Human Better Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/Real-Human-Better-101628431484897Heather Chelan - @hebonthewebPandemic Songhttps://www.instagram.com/p/CDRV20fp3A-/Sleep Hygiene!https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygienehttp://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tipsFlux - Computer lighting control to improve health/sleepKim's recommends it!https://justgetflux.com/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Terri Kozlowski joins me to discuss her new book, "Raven Transcending Fear". Terri is a writer, educator, leader, artist, life coach, podcaster, blogger, and a proud Native American of the Athabaskan, Gwich'in Tribe - Raven Clan. Terri is a survivor of childhood sexual assault and trauma. She shares her healing journey, her reclamation of authentic self, her decision to be a survivor rather than a victim, her daily personal practice, and her decision to choose love over fear.Tw/Cw: Sexual assault, r*pe, trauma, abuse, child abuse, addiction, substances, abandonment, racism, ancestral trauma, religion, and spirituality.Terri's Websitehttps://terrikozlowski.com/Raven Transcending Fearhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1949798801/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=Soul Solutions Podcasthttps://terrikozlowski.com/soul-solutions-podcast/A Course in Miracleshttps://acim.org/Kintsugihttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LMKGte0UUhttps://medium.com/@andreamantovani/kintsugi-and-the-art-of-repair-life-is-what-makes-us-b4af13a39921https://mymodernmet.com/kintsugi-kintsukuroi/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Finding OK will be finishing Season 2 at the end of this month and I will be taking a break before returning with Season 3 in late May! There are lots of new and exciting things happening with the podcast and new ways you can connect with me! Finding OK is now the #1 Mental Health Podcast in Jamaica!Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Cailin returns to share new aspects of their healing journey! Cailin has started Equine Therapy and we also discuss the important role that Yoga plays in their life and healing. Join us for a conversation about somatic alternatives or additions to talk therapy. Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Jacquelyn Weis is the author of, "Healing the Survivors - 8 Steps to Whole-Self Healing". She is a member of the Northwestern Band Shoshone Nation, a Certified Emotion Code Practitioner, Body Code Practitioner, T3 Therapist, Native Herbalist, Native Holistic Healer, mother, and wife. Jacquelyn shares how strong women, community support, cultural practices, and holistic healing modalities saved her life and helped her heal after her traumas. We discuss generational/ancestral trauma, the Missing and Murdered Indigenous Womxn, Girls, and Two Spirit movement (MMIWG2S), and what non-native people can do to help. She also shares a beautiful song in her native language to bring survivors strength, power, and healing. Tw/Cw: Sexual assault, rape, trauma, PTSD, depression, suicide, trafficking, violence, genocide, systemic oppression, generational trauma, racism, and spirituality.Jacquelyn's Websitehttps://www.jacquelynweis.com/indexHealing the Survivors Bookhttps://www.jacquelynweis.com/booksHealing the Survivors Podcasthttps://anchor.fm/jacquelyn-weisMissing and Murdered Indigenous Womxn, Girls, and Two Spirithttps://www.csvanw.org/mmiwhttps://mmiwusa.org/Indigenous Intentions - Supports MMIWG2Shttps://www.etsy.com/shop/IndigenousIntentions?ref=s2-header-shopnameNorthwestern Band Shoshone Nationhttps://nwbshoshone.squarespace.com/https://utahindians.org/archives/shoshone/history.htmlNative Land Maphttps://native-land.ca/InsideOut Institutehttps://www.theinsideoutinstitute.com/home-page1588712601767Emotion Codehttps://discoverhealing.com/the-emotion-code/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Lily Sage and I discuss the ways that our current punitive judicial system fails all of us, especially the marginalized and survivors of sexual assault, and we discuss Restorative Justice as a potential alternative. Lily and I continue our discussion about Restorative Justice, what it is, what it has to offer, how it challenges us, and some of the issues and obstacles to implementing some form of it in our society.Land Acknowledgement - Lily is joining us from O'gah'Pog'eh or White Shell Place, occupied Tewa lands otherwise known as Santa Fe, NM. Hecate is living on Wappinger, and Munsee Lenape occupied lands on the East Coast.Tw/Cw: sexual assault, rape, trauma, trafficking, suicide, violence, the justice system, police, systemic oppression, racism, eugenics, ableism, generational trauma, addiction, substances, and the pandemic.Video on the Santa Fe Obeliskhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fySNkGPsNWILegal Aid for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!https://dsasantafe.org/legal-aidPetition for clemency for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!https://www.change.org/p/mayor-webber-clemency-for-sf-obelisk-fiveO'Gah Po'Geh Altar Projecthttps://www.ogahpogehaltarproject.com/Article by Southwestern Contemporaryhttps://southwestcontemporary.com/is-the-public-art-project-at-the-santa-fe-plaza-obelisk-allyship-or-artwashing/Restoratice Justice and the SF Obeliskhttps://retakeourdemocracy.org/2020/10/28/using-restorative-justice-to-address-the-obelisk-could-have-national-implications/Indigenous Peacemaking Initiativehttps://peacemaking.narf.org/Philly Survivor Support Collective (Philly's Pissed directs you here)https://phillysurvivorsupportcollective.wordpress.com/INCITE! - A network of radical feminists of color organizing to end state violence and violence in their homes and communities.https://incite-national.org/National Native American Boarding School Healing Coalitionhttps://boardingschoolhealing.org/Missing and Murdered Indigenous Womxn, Girls, and Two Spirithttps://www.csvanw.org/mmiwhttps://mmiwusa.org/https://www.niwrc.org/sites/default/files/documents/Resources/nm_mmiwr_report_final_web_v120920.pdfDr. Christina M. Castrohttps://ndncollective.org/people/dr-christina-m-castro/Three Sisters Collectivehttps://threesisterscollective.org/Media Education Foundationhttps://www.mediaed.org/Palestine Chronicle Articlehttps://www.palestinechronicle.com/love-me-love-me-im-a-liberal-from-peter-beinart-to-santa-fes-liberal-mayor/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Lily Sage and I discuss the ways that our current punitive judicial system fails all of us, especially the marginalized and survivors of sexual assault, and we discuss Restorative Justice as a potential alternative. Lily discusses a paper she wrote before the Me Too movement and how many of the concepts and ideas that were groundbreaking a decade ago are now much more a part of our evolving social consciousness. She shares her personal introduction to Restorative Justice, what it is, what it has to offer, how it challenges us, and some of the issues and obstacles to implementing some form of it in our society.Land Acknowledgement - Lily is joining us from O'gah'Pog'eh or White Shell Place, occupied Tewa lands otherwise known as Santa Fe, NM. Hecate is living on Wappinger, and Munsee Lenape occupied lands on the East Coast.Tw/Cw: sexual assault, rape, trauma, violence, suicide, the justice system, police, systemic oppression, racism, eugenics, ableism, generational trauma, addiction, substances, and the pandemic. Video on the Santa Fe Obeliskhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fySNkGPsNWILegal Aid for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!https://dsasantafe.org/legal-aid/Petition for clemency for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!https://www.change.org/p/mayor-webber-clemency-for-sf-obelisk-fiveKay Pranis - Living Justice Presshttp://www.livingjusticepress.org/index.asp?Type=B_BASIC&SEC=%7B5EA7355F-29D7-411D-A977-BF092BC6CC9C%7DAngela Davishttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angela_DavisAbolitionist Toolkit from Critical Resistance - Founded by Angela Davis http://criticalresistance.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/CR-Abolitionist-Toolkit-online.pdfAdrienne Maree Brownhttp://adriennemareebrown.net/book-me/Girls Town Movie trailerhttps://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=girls+town+movie1996Philly's Pissed - (no longer active)https://www.phillyspissed.net/Philly Survivor Support Collective (Philly's Pissed directs you here)https://phillysurvivorsupportcollective.wordpress.com/Philly Stands Up (created after Philly's Pissed)https://phillystandsup.wordpress.com/Sex Offender Rehabilitationhttps://www.prisonfellowship.org/2011/05/working-with-sex-offenders-what-you-need-to-know/Sex Offender Rehabilitation Center - I just found this and can't speak to it in any way...but it looks very promising and has been around since the 80's. Check it out if you have the spoons, it's very interesting. This looks like a group that's been doing the work we talk about in the episode as being needed.https://www.teachinghumaneexistence.com/I couldn't find any articles I was happy with about the sex offender tent camps, but if you have access to the show "Our America with Lisa Ling" there's an excellent episode on the subject titled "State of Sex Offenders"Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Janitta Nichols is a speaker, writer, and the author of, "The Secrets of My Mother - Breaking Free from Generational Curses and Trauma". Janitta is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and she shares her healing process. Janitta left her career as a police officer behind to speak her truth. She is breaking the cycle for her family with faith, love, courage, and forgiveness.Tw/Cw: Trauma, PTSD, abuse, childhood sexual abuse, substances and addiction, depression, suicide, religion, spirituality, police, racism, systemic oppression, and generational trauma. The Secrets of My Mother - Breaking Free from Generational Curses and Traumahttps://www.amazon.com/Secrets-My-Mother-Breaking-Generational-ebook/dp/B08PSPZJHBJanitta's Websitehttp://www.janittanichols.com/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

In this episode I share a personal story of freezing during an assault and talk about forgiving ourselves for moments we weren't able to respond as we might have wished. I share a little bit about traveling in India and some of the safety measures I have taken over the years during my time there. I also share a personal practice that is a part of my own healing journey.Gulabi Gang - These women give me lifehttps://gulabigang.in/Chappal Marungi - Movement to combat "Eve Teasing" or Cat callinghttps://www.ndtv.com/mumbai-news/chappal-marungi-a-new-campaign-against-eve-teasing-468338TW for this article, it is upsetting but talks about the years following the Delhi bus attackhttps://time.com/5754565/india-rape-new-delhi-bus-attack/History and Cultural context - TW for this one toohttps://sayfty.com/pay-attention-rapes-in-india/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Lisa David Olson is a speaker, creative coach, podcaster, comedian, and the author of the book, "Laughs On Wry - An Improviser's Memoir". Lisa loves connecting with people through humor, laughing, pranking, being brave, hot yoga, coffee, and embarrassing her kids. She is always on the lookout for more of her favorite people: weirdos.Tw/Cw: Trauma, abuse, child abuse, PTSD, alcoholism, substances, death, weight, and the pandemic.Websitehttp://www.lisadavidolson.com/Laughs on Wry - An Improviser's Memoirhttps://www.amazon.com/Laughs-Wry-Lisa-David-Olson-ebook/dp/B07C2QPGSG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1523649824&sr=8-1&keywords=laughs+on+wryStranger Connections - Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stranger-connections/id1516167809Phun on the Phone https://www.amazon.com/Phun-Phone-Lisa-David-Olson/dp/B08RZ3VSXZhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1trewywUZ6NRzr9MBPJU_QSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

Bailee Noella is the author of "bathtub in flames" and creator of Cyno Apparel, the streetwear line taking shame out of mental health conditions. Join me as I talk to her about her writing process and her healing process.Tw/Cw: Trauma, abuse, childhood sexual assault, OCD, PTSD, substances, the pandemic, racism and sexism in Medicine, and spirituality.bathtub in flames:https://www.amazon.com/bathtub-flames-Bailee-Noella-ebook/dp/B08Q8HJ8TD/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=bathtub+in+flames+bailee+noella&qid=1607704449&sr=8-1Cyno Apparel:https://www.cynoapparel.com/Signs of Childhood Abuse:https://childabuse.stanford.edu/screening/signs.htmlhttps://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/signs.pdfhttps://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect.htmhttps://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/241532#why-is-it-importantSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)

The experience of awe is a rarely discussed but incredibly powerful part of growth and healing. In this episode I discuss the benefits of awe, I torture some metaphors, give you some ideas of how to seek out awe in your daily life, and share some of my most memorable experiences of awe that transformed my life or stuck with me over the years.Tw/Cw: Trauma, abuse, PTSD, spirituality, and a metaphor involving hypothermiaArticles and research on awe:https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_reasons_why_awe_makes_your_life_betterhttps://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Awe_FINAL.pdfhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-awe/201704/the-emerging-science-awe-and-its-benefitsShrinkage of the brain:https://www.bbrfoundation.org/content/shrinkage-brain-structure-linked-severe-ptsd-symptoms-combat-exposure#:~:text=of%20the%20time.-,New%20research%20published%20in%20the%20April%20issue%20of%20the%20journal,with%20fear%20processing%20and%20emotion.Neuroplasticityhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroplasticity#:~:text=Neuroplasticity%2C%20also%20known%20as%20neural,systematic%20adjustments%20like%20cortical%20remapping.https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01657/fullSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)