Podcast appearances and mentions of Paul Coughlin

Send us a text We are joined by one of the owners of Taconic Distilleries, Paul Coughlin. Paul has a very interesting background from not only the distillery, but his shooting journey and how life lead him to where he is today. This was a great interview and we were very privileged to have him join us on this episode and humbled to have him a part of our program! Tune in to hear for yourself!   After we wrap up our conversation with Paul, we are joined by Kevin McNamara, supervisor of assembly and service for sporting clays at Kolar Arms, to introduce Ryan Smith, Sales support for dealers and customers. Ryan came to Kolar from Northbrook, and is hitting the ground running. Listen closely because this not only an introduction, but there is a surprise for the upcoming U.S. Open!DEAD PAIR / KOLAR DRAWING - https://e.givesmart.com/events/HpS/i/_All/u1g0/?search=- Kolar Arms - https://www.kolararms.com - Fiocchi USA - https://fiocchiusa.com - Atlas Traps - https://www.atlastraps.com - Rhino Chokes - https://rhinochokes.com - Ranger Shooting Eyewear - https://www.reranger.com Ranger 10% Discount = DEADPAIR - Taconic Distillery - https://www.spirits.taconicdistillery.com/  Discount code -DEADPAIR10 - Long Range - https://www.longrangellc.com - Score Chaser - https://scorechaser.com/ - National Sporting Clays Association - https://nssa-nsca.org/ - Clay Range Design Works - https://traptowers.comSupport the showThe Dead Pair Podcast - https://thedeadpair.com FACEBOOK- https://www.facebook.com/Thedeadpair. INSTAGRAM- https://www.instagram.com/thedeadpairpodcast/YOUTUBE- https://youtube.com/channel/UCO1ePh4I-2D0EABDbKxEgoQ

This is a reboot of a past episode #239 of the Men in the Arena Podcast. Paul Coughlin is an expert witness regarding bullying and the law, and is a FoxNews analyst and contributor. He is a popular speaker who has appeared on Good Morning America, Nightline, C-Span, The LA Times, The New York Times, Newsweek and other media outlets. In his ground-breaking book, No More Christian Nice Guy, Paul explains why being a “nice guy” is disastrous to everyone involved. Instead, Paul shows how the abundant life that God has for us is found through a more assertive orientation toward life, growing faith, saving marriage, bolstering careers, and in some cases even saving life itself.

In today's episode of Skin Deep, I sit down with our aesthetic partner, Dr Paul Coughlin,MB, BCh.B.A.O, BSc, to discuss the ever-evolving world of aesthetics. Dr Paul's expertise in anti-wrinkle treatments and natural enhancements has made him a favourite with our clients. We explore the importance of prioritising skin health in every aesthetic journey and delve into the topic of dissolving filler for a fresh, more natural look. Whether you're considering aesthetic treatments or simply curious about the latest trends, this episode is a must-listen! #MonicaTolan #SkinExperts #AestheticClinic

Paul Coughlin left Wall Street to hang out on Main Street in his retirement, and ended up building Taconic Distillery into the largest bourbon maker in New York. Sounds like a lotta work for a ‘retired' guy, but who's counting when you're drinking great bourbon in the beautiful Hudson Valley?!

Welcome to Episode 304 of The County Cricket Podcast! On today's episode, hosts Aaron, Ciaran and Kiel sat down to look back on the major moments and key talking points from the third week of the 2024 T20 Blast such as Paul Coughlin's awe-inspiring caught and bowled against Lancashire, Matthew Breetzke's barnstorming start to life in a Northamptonshire shirt and David Payne's clutch final over against Surrey at The Oval. If you enjoyed this episode please feel free to share it with any cricket fans that you know and be sure to follow us on Twitter for daily County Cricket and Podcast updates!    Check out Ciaran and Kiel's social media channels here:  https://x.com/CP_McCarthy https://www.instagram.com/k.t.v.v_02   Check out our Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/thecountycricketpodcast   Check out our Twitter here: https://twitter.com/TheCountyCrick2   Check out our £1 Patreon membership here:  https://www.patreon.com/thecountycricketpodcast   This episode of The County Cricket Podcast was brought to you in association with our friends at Bear Cricket:  https://www.bearcricket.co.uk/

Friend of Trace - Paul Coughlin Paul Coughlin is an expert witness regarding bullying and the law, and the founder and president of the anti-bullying program The Protectors.  He has appeared in many media outlets.  Paul is a best-selling author of eight books, including the freedom-from-bullying parent and teacher resource Raising Bully-Proof Kids, as well as a former newspaper editor. He works with numerous professional organizations to diminish bullying.  His anti-bullying curriculum is used throughout North America as well as in South Africa, Uganda, Australia, New Zealand and Brazil among other countries. Paul is a boys varsity soccer coach, where he was voted Coach of the Year twice. Paul has previously served as a member of the Board of Trustees for St. Mary's School in Medford, Oregon. He is also a popular men's conference speaker who has inspired thousands across North America as well as in Wales and England. Freeing Us from Bullying Trace Embry and Michelle Hill talk with friend Paul Coughlin.  They discuss the issue of bullying with a focus on how parents can help their children navigate this problem. They share the importance of recognizing that anyone can be a bully, including one's own child, and the need for a plan of action if this is the case. The role of the internet is also highlighted and how it exacerbates bullying as it allows for constant harassment. Paul Coughlin, author of the book "Freeing Us from Bullying," emphasizes the importance of teaching children to stand up against bullying, and the dangers of allowing them to become victims.  He also differentiates between teasing and bullying, and explains why some people become bullies. The discussion also touches on the misinterpretation of biblical teachings, such as "turning the other cheek," in the context of bullying. Episode Highlights: Have you ever considered if your child was the bully?  Is bullying worse now than it was 20 years ago? Determine the difference between bullying and kids just playing around. Does the Bible give examples of bullying and how to deal with it? Image from Canva

Friend of Trace - Paul Coughlin Paul Coughlin is an expert witness regarding bullying and the law, and the founder and president of the anti-bullying program The Protectors.  He has appeared in many media outlets.  Paul is a best-selling author of eight books, including the freedom-from-bullying parent and teacher resource Raising Bully-Proof Kids, as well as a former newspaper editor. He works with numerous professional organizations to diminish bullying.  His anti-bullying curriculum is used throughout North America as well as in South Africa, Uganda, Australia, New Zealand and Brazil among other countries. Paul is a boys varsity soccer coach, where he was voted Coach of the Year twice. Paul has previously served as a member of the Board of Trustees for St. Mary's School in Medford, Oregon. He is also a popular men's conference speaker who has inspired thousands across North America as well as in Wales and England. Freeing Us from Bullying Trace Embry and Michelle Hill talk with friend Paul Coughlin.  They discuss the issue of bullying with a focus on how parents can help their children navigate this problem. They share the importance of recognizing that anyone can be a bully, including one's own child, and the need for a plan of action if this is the case. The role of the internet is also highlighted and how it exacerbates bullying as it allows for constant harassment. Paul Coughlin, author of the book "Freeing Us from Bullying," emphasizes the importance of teaching children to stand up against bullying, and the dangers of allowing them to become victims.  He also differentiates between teasing and bullying, and explains why some people become bullies. The discussion also touches on the misinterpretation of biblical teachings, such as "turning the other cheek," in the context of bullying. Episode Highlights: Have you ever considered if your child was the bully?  Is bullying worse now than it was 20 years ago? Determine the difference between bullying and kids just playing around. Does the Bible give examples of bullying and how to deal with it? Image from Canva

Paul Coughlin is a testicular cancer survivor in Tennessee. Paul talks about catching his testicular cancer because of his girlfriend's studies, feeling grateful for being stage 1B, having orchiectomy and 1xBEP, the importance of peer-to-peer support like the r/testicularcancer subreddit, and more! Sponsored by Dee's Nuts. Use code "nutcheck" at checkout on https://grabdeesnuts.com Want to be a guest? Apply here: ⁠https://www.testicularcancerawarenessfoundation.org/it-takes-balls-submissions⁠ Follow Testicular Cancer Awareness Foundation: ⁠https://www.testescancer.org ⁠⁠ https://www.twitter.com/testescancer⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/testescancer ⁠⁠ https://www.facebook.com/tca.org/⁠ Connect with Paul: https://www.reddit.com/user/CharleyParkhurst/ https://www.reddit.com/r/testicularcancer/ Follow Steven Crocker: https://www.twitter.com/stevencrocker https://www.instagram.com/stevencrocker https://www.facebook.com/steven.crocker2 Theme song: No Time Like Now - Tom Willner www.tomwillner.com

Guest Bios Show Transcript Part 2 of our eye-opening podcast on bullying, featuring the woman who blew the whistle on author and pastor, Dane Ortlund, is out! If you missed part one, you can find it here. In this podcast, Ortlund whistleblower, Emily Hyland, describes what she wishes she knew when she was being bullied that she knows now. And anti-bullying expert, Paul Coughlin, offers keen insights from his decades of experience, as well.  Coughlin, author of the best-selling, No More Christian Nice-Guy, and founder of The Protectors, reveals how bullies identify their targets. He also gives steps every person can take to stand up to them.  Meanwhile, Hyland explains how to educate yourself on bullies, but warns against trying to become an expert before taking action. She also shares important developments in her case against Ortlund, author of Gentle and Lowly. For anyone who has experienced bullying, or wants accountability for a bully, don't miss this podcast. You may even want to take notes! Guests Emily Hyland Emily Hyland earned her bachelors in Molecular Genetics and Biotechnology before working for the Office of Naval Research in Washington, DC. While there she received a MHSA in Management & Leadership from The George Washington University. She has worked with the US Army and the Office of the Surgeon General, Accenture, GE, and across finance, manufacturing, health services, and information technology. Recently, she was the Director of Operations at Naperville Presbyterian Church in suburban Illinois. She is married and has three children.  Paul Coughlin Paul Coughlin is an author, an international speaker and the founder and president of The Protectors, which is dedicated to helping schools, organizations and communities combat bullying. His books include No More Christian Nice Guy, Raising Bully-Proof Kids and 5 Secrets Great Dads Know. Paul and his wife, Sandy, reside in central Oregon and have three teenage children. Learn more about Paul and his organization at www.theprotectors.org. Show Transcript JULIE ROYS, PAUL COUGHLIN, EMILY HYLAND JULIE ROYS 00:03 How do you deal with bullying by a pastor or Christian employer? Welcome to The Roys Report, a podcast dedicated to reporting the truth and restoring the church. I'm Julie Roys. And this is part two of a two-part podcast with bullying expert Paul Coughlin and whistleblower Emily Hyland. If you missed part one, I'd encourage you to go back now and listen to that. It was a fascinating discussion in which Emily gave new details about the alleged bullying and retaliation she received at the hands of Dane Ortlund. Dane is the pastor of Naperville Presbyterian Church in Naperville, Illinois. He's also the author of the bestselling book, Gentle and Lonely. But according to Emily, Dane is a bully. In Emily's case alleging retaliation by Dane and his church because she blew the whistle on Dane's bullying is now going to trial. And you'll hear about important developments in that case in this podcast. You'll also hear important insights on how to deal with bullies in a Christian workplace. And Emily will share what she wishes she knew back when she was being bullied that she knows now. I'm so looking forward to diving into the rest of my discussion with Emily and Paul Coughlin. But first I'd like to thank the sponsors of this podcast, Judson University and Marquardt of Barrington if you're looking for a top ranked Christian University, providing a caring community and an excellent college experience, Judson University is for you. Judson is located on 90 acres just 40 miles west of Chicago in Elgin, Illinois. The school offers more than 60 majors, great leadership opportunities and strong financial aid. Plus, you can take classes online as well as in person. Judson University is shaping lives that shaped the world. For more information, just go to JUDSONU.EDU. Also, if you're looking for a quality new or used car, I highly recommend my friends at Marquardt of Barrington. Marquardt is a Buick GMC dealership where you can expect honesty, integrity, and transparency. That's because the owners there Dan and Kurt Marquardt, are men of integrity. To check them out, just go to BUYACAR123.COM. We now return to part two of my discussion with Paul Coughlin and Emily Hyland. Specifically, Emily explains more of what she wishes she knew back when she was being bullied that she knows now. And one thing I've learned about Emily is that she doesn't do anything halfway. So, when she realized something wasn't right, she quickly devoured resources like author and advocate Wade Mullins' book by that title. But Emily urges that while it's important to find resources, victims shouldn't go overboard and get a PhD. We've kind of touched on this, you said find resources, but don't get a PhD on the subject. I'm guessing, just knowing a little bit about you, Emily, you like to master something before you move forward with it. And I'm guessing you couldn't do that. But you did a great job of informing yourself; talk about that process. EMILY HYLAND 03:08 There are so many more resources that are available in this moment than there were two and a half years ago. Coming right out of it, that book by Wade Mullen was the first I read because of the title, Something's Not Right. Like you're right, that is exactly describing it. I have to read that. And I went through, and I read Diane Langberg and Scot McKnight and Laura Behringer's book. I read Chuck DeGroote, I went through an entire podcast called Power Corrupts and have been increasingly able to articulate accurately what happened and that makes me feel more safe, that I am not speculating. I can say, in the fewest words possible, here's what happened, and the impacts and why it was wrong. That has helped in the legal sense is that I don't waste my time on the nebulous side of just thinking, well, what might have those pastors been thinking? I mean, I don't know what they were thinking, I don't know their hearts. A psychiatrist maybe could get at some of these things. I don't need to know those things. I just need to accurately know what was going on in my own mind, in my own heart. I think one resource that I value now is that I wish I'd had then was there was no ChatGPT two years ago, and I wasted a lot of words trying to get my point across. And people don't realize that when you're making an accusation about a pastor, you're making it against a professional communicator, somebody who is possibly way better with words than their victim. That was really hard. I had just too many words. And now ChatGPT has made a big difference just for me personally, to feel more confident in describing the situation. But I really don't think that you need to be 100% certain and able to write a dissertation on it to step forward and say, I've seen bullying behaviors. We need to tackle it now. But you've got to stand up and say something, whether it's on your behalf or the behalf of somebody else. Bullies need to be confronted to their face. You can't shove a book at them and say, read this; does it sound like you? You have to speak it out to people to say, this is an individual interpersonal matter. Books help to get you the right words, but you can't get around the fact that somebody, at some point, needs to bring it up to their face. JULIE ROYS 05:26 Hmm. And one thing if I could add to that, is give yourself some grace. Because I heard you say, like my own motives and my own. It's so hard when you're in the midst of this and you're angry, and you have a right to be angry, and you're hurt, and you have a right to be hurt. And in all that to be absolutely pristine in every attitude and thought, of course, you're not going to be. And I think people need to have some grace with themselves when they're walking through this. I remember once we were leaving a church and I said to somebody, oh, I just want to make sure that we don't sin. And he's like, No, you will, but try to minimize that. Just hearing that gave me I don't know, just kind of a relief that Okay, right. I'm human in this and don't have to be perfect. PAUL COUGHLIN 06:15 Julie, if I did add to that there's a great line by Shakespeare. And he says that some people are more sinned against than sinner. And that is how it is when it comes to bullying in the workplace in faith-centric organizations. What's interesting is that many people who are targets of bullying are nice people. And nice people will spend so much more time worrying about their behaviors than the person who is abusing them, harming them and their family. We really need to move away from that thinking. I also think that thinking is baked into the system as well, in the rhetoric used by many of our leaders for decades, into make us think that there is something fundamentally wrong with us, when we recognize this behavior in other people. We really need to move away from that, we need to stop being so nice, which is often a knee jerk reaction to people pleasing, it has nothing to do with the fruit of the spirit of kindness. Niceness is never mentioned in the Bible, for example, as an attribute of the Father, Son, or the Holy Spirit, it's not a fruit of the Spirit, and bullies in the workplace, particularly within the church faith-centric organizations, they use our niceness against us. It's one of the reasons why we're targeted. We don't use the word victim at the protectors very often, we prefer the word target, and here's why. You have been selected the bully in the workplace. The bully pastor has picked on some people but not other people. Why is that? Because a bully is not looking for a fight, they want to overwhelm another person. So, they look for the nice person, they look for the person for example, who lives by turning the other cheek. There is no more tortured scripture in the theater of bullying, then turn the other cheek. When you put it in context. It has to do with having a generous spirit. It has nothing to do with accepting abuse from another person. So, we really need to have these distinctions. Niceness is really not a virtue, it's actually a vice in disguise. It's often the sin of cowardice, Revelation 21:8, we need to get tougher and stronger. We need to speak the truth in love. We still need to be gracious. But we also need to be truthful. I love what Emily said, in that someone needs to speak to the bullies face that is so important. If I give one piece of advice. The sooner you stand up to a bully in the workplace in the church, the better your life is going to be. The sooner you do it, the better. JULIE ROYS 08:44 So good. And in that some of the weapons that are used commonly against the person who speaks up is the word gossip. And you're labeled gossip. I'm guessing, Emily, that happened to you? I don't know. But did you find that parsing out what gossip is and understanding and distinguishing between that and what you were doing, was that an important step for you? EMILY HYLAND 09:10 The verbiage was because I wasn't talking to people about what was going on. And I regret caring about somebody's reputation more than the harm they were causing people. Gossip is a hard concept in the church because a church is like a proxy for family not having family in the area. And so, I want people to know what's going on in my life. I want to know what other people's is going on, how can I care for somebody or support somebody if I'm really not knowing what's going on? But then there's that sinful gossip of self-serving prideful nitpicking rumor spreading,. Those things can really be meshed together. And for my experience is that this came all that this gossip part came to like this moment, the single experience where I've talked to two elders, and they should know what they're doing. And there was this pivot as soon as they told Dane and the associate about what I had said. And now the elders are saying, Oh, we made a mistake. We should be modeling Matthew 18. Let's go backwards. You go meet with him privately. And I was like, what? JULIE ROYS 10:19 Matthew 18, just to interject for anybody who doesn't know this, if turn the other cheek is the most abused, this has to be second, right? Yeah. It's Matthew 18, which instructs, and again, this is with personal offenses. It says, with a personal offense to first take your offense to your brother one on one, then if he doesn't listen to you to take one or two people with you, then if he doesn't listen, then speak it to the entire church. Again, Matthew 18 is not a prescription for bully pastors. I would say ITimothy 5:20, is the prescription for bully pastors, which is when there's an elder who's sending that you should publicly expose him so that others may stand in fear. Good grief, somebody who's being bullied, does not need to go through a Matthew 18. They go to people who are supposed to be advocates who are supposed to hold the pastor accountable. And when they don't, then to me, you're completely in a ITimothy 5:20 situation where it's time to publicly expose the sinning pastor. So rarely hear that passage. Instead, we always hear Matthew 18. And it's used as a club. It's used abusively, and it's a misapplication. PAUL COUGHLIN 11:31 Julie let's say that a person has gone under a sexual assault. Do we really think that we would require that person to meet one on one? No one but your most ardent fundamentalist would say yes to that. Most people would say, okay, that's an exception. I'll give you that exception. How is that the only exception? And this is used in Christian schools, by the way with kids who are being bullied, I argue it absolutely doesn't apply, in fact, you're retraumatizing that poor kid whose been the target of bullying to sit in the same room. So, we really need more than knowledge of Matthew 18. We need wisdom. And wisdom is doesn't apply to all situations at all times. EMILY HYLAND 12:10 And that's what made this so difficult is that I've just told two elders about the bullying and intimidation in those words. And their response is, I think we need to go do this again. And you need to go meet with him privately. And I can't say no, he's my boss. So that's what we do. And it's a closed-door private meeting, no witnesses. What was said in that meeting? But what really stood out to me was his line, have you told anyone else about this? It sounded like it was delivered, like straight out of a horror story to the character whose body is never found, because what the answer is, is that if I had said, Yes, I was guilty of gossip about a pastor, my church elder. If I said, no, there are no witnesses in the control of the narrative still possible, as long as I'm not around to contradict anything. And that's what happened. Forty-eight hours later, that's what I told him. I said, No, I haven't said anything, because what I believe is that gossip hinders reconciliation efforts. And I wanted this to be reconciled. I had no premonition that this was unrecoverable. I know better now. But what I thought then is that, yeah, there was no need to gossip, because it's like I saw a problem. I'm like, let's get these elders involved. Let's get this back on the rails moving on. And what it actually was, is, I did myself a disservice by not gossiping more. I don't want to gossip. But I wish I had talked to people who were safe and outside of that church. JULIE ROYS 13:40 And that's not gossip. No, that is getting the help that you need in certain situations. And so important for us to understand, distinguish between those. What about the family impact? Because you have children. And I've heard this from numerous people where I would do this, I would speak up, but I've got children in the church. Sometimes it's the spouse, there's all these connections and leverage that, quite frankly, the leader or the organization has over the person that's being bullied. Talk about that and how you navigated that. EMILY HYLAND 14:21 For me, I kept this all under wraps. Nobody knew, nobody knew what I was feeling. So, they probably noticed there was something wrong. And I remember when my mom asked me, she's like, how's it going working for Dane? And I had no answer. I couldn't just say fine, I held back. But then when this all came crashing down, she didn't know how to help me. My husband didn't know how to help me. Everybody knew I had worked for church. And then one moment I wasn't, they really did not know why they were at this church one Sunday, and nobody from that church ever spoke to them again. I mean, I'm shouldering my own mountain of grief, and then I've got this, you know, layer of they're grief. My oldest son, he's like, I was happy at MPC. And they were until it was over. And I think that processing the grief with them has been valuable. I trust that God will use this in their faith walk for their good. But I wish I'd spoken up earlier, and I wish I had prepared my family for the consequences of speaking up. What happens when you tell the truth is that you might experience hardship and pain, it's worth it. But I wish I had prepared myself to give them a little bit more solace as to how to navigate, and why their world changed so much so quickly. JULIE ROYS 15:42 I mean, listening as a mother, my heart just goes out to you and to your family, for what you've been through. And it's hard enough for adults, but for children to process how this happens, and to distinguish between the people that hurt them who are symbols of the Church of God. It's just so painful to see that and it just requires so much prayer, so much care. But I mean, none of us on this call, and I'm guessing, Paul, you included, my kids have not been spared any of the effects of what I've gone through. They shoulder it with me whether or not they deserve to because they really don't deserve any of it. And yet, there's no way to insulate them from it. PAUL COUGHLIN 16:30 And a job, in a supposed Christian environment, it certainly wasn't. And I have three kids, and they were younger. And I would drive home from that job. And you just undergo stuff that is just horrendous. And I had a mantra that I would tell myself in the car – our old blue Volvo. I would say this is not my future, this is not my future, this is not the Lord's will for my life. And it helped and it helps to highlight something fundamental for targets; hope is more important than love for a beleaguered individual, and a beleaguered community. We see this often in the writings and speeches of Martin Luther King. Why did he talk about hope so much? Because if you don't have a functioning hope, that today, tomorrow, the next day year, could be better – love doesn't land well. Without hope we can't digest love very well. So, one thing that we need to do is to inculcate more hope in our spirit is to realize this is not your future. This is temporary, it's not permanent. It's one of the reasons why we recommend that people start looking for another job, because we're talking about bullying within faith centric organizations. Looking for another job has a way of bolstering your hope. And with that hope we tend to think more clearly and more proactively. JULIE ROYS 18:01 Hmm. For some reason, I'm thinking of the movie Back to the Future. I don't know if you remember that. But there's a main bully. Yeah, and the two different scenarios that the entire family experiences because the father is bullied in front of his son. In the first scenario, that impacts the son's view his father and the culture of the family, and how it changes when somebody stands up to the bully. And I think one of the things that we don't think about enough is what it communicates to our children when we don't say anything, and we allow this kind of harm to continue. I talked to somebody recently, and I have to sort of laugh because I asked her how your kids process what happened? And she sort of laughed, and she said, at first it was really difficult. She said that they kind of think their mom's badass. I was like, okay, but I mean, in the very best sense of that word, if there is, is that they see that you're worth standing up for and that there are things worth standing up for. There's things worth paying a price for. And I think it's important as Christians that we start modeling that in the way that we respond. PAUL COUGHLIN 19:19 We're told as parents, not to exasperate our children, right in Scripture? One way to exasperate your children is to show cowardice and for them to witness that. That can make them feel incredibly uncomfortable and unstable. JULIE ROYS 19:32 Good point. EMILY HYLAND 19:33 I think it too is that you know, like that parable Jesus told about a man who finds a treasure in the field, and he sells everything to get the treasure. It's almost the counter like the inverse is that what would I not give to keep my kids from being discipled in gracelessness and fear and corruption? I mean, to not have my kids in that I'm like, I will pay that price. My kids will not be breathing that air and under that thumb of oppression and hurting other people. I don't want them to grow up thinking that that's okay at church. You can, I think, latch on to the teeniest tiniest nugget of courage to say, I can do this, because other people might benefit. JULIE ROYS 20:22 In a way, you had no idea when you spoke to the elders, how that was going to play out and what the consequences were going to be. But you say that we should understand the risks but take the gamble anyway. Why do you say that? EMILY HYLAND 20:37 When I look back, I think, like you said about the matrix. I mean, there was a period, I was like, please just plug me back into the matrix. I just wanted to go back. And then there was the period where I was like, please just let me have a lobotomy so I cannot have these memories, and not know, have these relationships that you know, now are nothing. And now I think that outcome was the right outcome. To be violently removed, was how God needed to do it. He did it on my behalf, he did it on behalf of my children, I needed it. But on the behalf of other people in that congregation who had the similar experience. I think that knowing the risks, that you could be fired and disfellowshipped, and the House of Cards will come crumbling down. If you know those risks, you still stand up, and you still speak the truth. Because the speaking of the truth is important to Christians. And if you're being abused by a Christian leader, whatever the outcome is of speaking the truth, is the best possible outcome. The other consequences coming from either tolerating sin or silencing your conscience; those may seem like a preferable outcome in the short term. But they are so costly to your soul and to your spirit that to be out of an abusive and coercive church is always better than being in one. So, to know those risks, and it's painful, it could be awful, it could be the worst thing you ever go through in your whole life. But do it anyway, because you were meant to be on the outside of an abusive church. JULIE ROYS 20:42 Paul, one of the things I should say, a person and a characteristic that I didn't even know about when I started reporting is the narcissist. And yet, I have learned about the narcissist in spades right now. But I think a lot of times, we don't know that that is what we are dealing with, in these situations, because this person has a title. And this person can speak so lovingly from the stage. Talk about the narcissist, and what we need to know as the person who is on the receiving end of what they're dishing out in our dealings with them. PAUL COUGHLIN 22:58 Yeah, so the narcissistic personality or antisocial personality can be depending on the study, 10, 12, 15 percent of a given population. It doesn't sound like a lot, but sometimes that's one out of every eight people can have this characteristic. That's pretty big, particularly when you look at a congregation, right? Most bullies bully, not because they have low self-esteem. They abuse others because they have excessive self-esteem. They think they're wonderful. And then you add on top of that this component that they are somehow especially circled by God. So, you already have this overinflated ego. And now it's uber inflated, because now they are a special person in a special world putting out special information that other people have not discerned until they were born, which is pretty stunning. We need to realize that most narcissists see people in two ways, people who are either below them or a threat. And this is how they look at the world. They are constantly measuring things in order to keep themselves at the top of the hierarchy. And again, to keep themselves at the top of the hierarchy isn't for them to necessarily usher in the kingdom of heaven to play their part, it's for their kingdom. They'll talk a lot about the kingdom of heaven, but it's really about their kingdom. And I'm reminded of that, I had a dinner with Mark Driscoll and very interesting dinner. And he kept talking about how it was all about Jesus. And he kept saying it over and over. But yet, if you look at the guy's actions, it's not all about Jesus. So, they often speak one way, but they really behave in a very different way. One thing that narcissists have in common is that they have three things in common and I mentioned one of them, an inflated self-regard. They really believe they're more important than other people. They don't believe the Bible. The Bible says we're equal, they don't really, they'll say we're equal. But that's not how they truly think. They really think they're above the herd. And because of that, it makes them tremendously dangerous. They also have a great sense of entitlement; things are owed to them again, because they're wonderful. But then they have a third component. And this third component is antagonism. And I've often explained to people who have been the target of bullying, but in faith centric organizations, the best bullies harm you, but they smile on their face and a lilt in their voice. They're the most damaging ones, because they hide their antagonism. Their words are designed to humiliate, and really destroy you. But they do it in such a way that it almost seems like okay for them to do that. It goes back to that cognitive dissonance that we talked about earlier. The look on the face is kind, but the words are poison. That's all on purpose. They have been practicing that dark skill for a long time, and most of them have gotten away with it for a long time, as well. So, to the best of our abilities, know who you're really dealing with, because it's a very different response than how you would deal with someone, for example, there's conflict. There's miscommunication, there's misunderstanding. When you have those behaviors that's often mistaken for bullying behaviors. It's not, those behaviors are answered in a much different way. Like an interpersonal. Oh, I didn't know what you were saying that okay. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm glad we're okay. Let's move on. Bullying is a whole other category of behavior. JULIE ROYS 26:40 Hmm. Well, Emily, I am so glad that you stuck up for yourself. I'm so glad that you kept receipts. I always tell people, please keep receipts, because in my business, you don't have receipts, it's a he said, she said. It's really very difficult to make a case. But you were able to make a case. Since this ruling by the Department of Human Rights last December, I know there was another major ruling in July. Would you get us up to speed with what's going on? What happened in July with that ruling, and also, as you're looking to the future, what's coming up? EMILY HYLAND 27:18 I didn't go into this wanting to go to court. And so, I've made choices that I've allowed this to be much longer but allowed for much greater investigation by outside agencies. So going and taking my case to the Illinois Department of Human Rights; that's similar to the federal EEOC. And the Illinois Department of Rights did an investigation, they looked at the material, we had a long conversation between me and the pastors where they asked us all these questions. And then they came up with this report. So there was 10 charges. And back in December, they found that retaliation had substantial evidence. And so that charge was forwarded up to the higher agency, the Human Rights Commission. Well, the other dismissed charges, of which there were nine, I went back, looked at some of the evidence, had more evidence, put it on there, and resubmitted it through, it's similar to an appeals process, but you can get them to look at it again. And so the higher agency looked at these other nine dismissed charges, and they said, alright, we'll keep six of them stay dismissed. And some of them were just because of timing. But two additional charges were, in essence, overturned. So, they were originally dismissed, they are now considered substantially off to more going to trial. So those two are unequal pay and termination, the discharge. So, they joined up with retaliation, and it will be going to trial coming up in the next hopefully few months, maybe who knows, it just could drag on. But there's also an Illinois Department of Labor claim that took two full years to get through the review system. And that one is going to be going in front of a judge in the next three weeks, where they'll hear my evidence and then that of the churches and to look at unpaid wages. How much time was I being asked to do work outside of the hours I was ever going to get paid for? Which I think is one of those strange ways that bullying is normalized in churches, which is how we are asked to spend our time. That's our time. And I loved my church, and I wanted to do a lot for my church. But when it became a I don't get to have dinner with my family because I need to respond to an email that Dane needs turned around this very second. Looking at that evidence and saying how often that was happening with regularity is what we're going into which is that yeah, I think that was a really hard one because you want to have your church go well, but you also need those boundaries to say, Why are you asking me for work to be done on a Saturday or while I'm on vacation or on a holiday? That was one of those, I think, very covert ways of controlling and coercing me. That is so normalized because it can just be passed off as Oh, it was just off the top of his head. And you don't didn't need to do that then. I mean, of course, you could have waited until Monday. Oh, we'll see. JULIE ROYS 30:33 So, I understand the regular trial system. But I don't understand the system going through government agencies like this. What does the trial look like? And what are you hoping to get out of it? EMILY HYLAND 30:45 Well compared to say a trial in a circuit court, the Human Rights Commission have their own set of administrative judges. Just as the Department of Labor has their own administrative judges. But there's still a discovery process, there's still witnesses and depositions. And then it all goes in front of her as a trial. JULIE ROYS 31:03 So, the judge will then be making the decision, and then damages and so forth would be determined by the judge? EMILY HYLAND 31:10 Right, and the church should be saying thank you, because actually, this is by far the cheapest route, even if you're found guilty, there's no punitive damages. So, they can't slap the church and say, you should have done this, and here's a giant fine. There's no punitive damages. It's all pretty much easy calculus as to how much you were making how much of interest how much of you know, and there's limits on how much even of other damages. This was never about money. And this was about the fact that they broke the law, and they are unrepentant. And don't think they've done moments wrong for two and a half years. So, I'm excited that there's people who can read this and see like, oh, yeah, this was definitely wrong. And it's not hard to identify it. It's shocking that the people who are in the organization cannot see what is well visible to people who are reading the narrative, and also even people who are getting the highlights of it. JULIE ROYS 32:10 Well, it speaks to your character, that you've gone through this process, that you haven't sought to be punitive when you certainly could have, and instead are waiting for justice. And so, we join you in praying for truth and praying for justice. And we do pray that all of that will become clear as this moves through the system. So, Emily, and Paul, thank you so much. This has been a rich discussion. And I know it's been bought with a lot of blood, sweat and tears from you. And so, we acknowledge that. But thank you for the insights that you've gained through a very, very painful process. PAUL COUGHLIN 32:48 Thank you, Julie. Appreciate that. EMILY HYLAND 32:50 Yeah, and thank you so much for bringing attention to this because a lot of people are under the same burdens. And they can be in the same massively confused state that I was and feeling very isolated. Because that is how bullying works. It is so about isolating you from a reality that you're in and keeping you from speaking up and pushing back and being happy. JULIE ROYS 33:16 Again, thanks so much for listening to The Roys Report, a podcast dedicated to reporting the truth and restoring the church. I'm Julie Roys. And if you're a survivor of church hurt or abuse or you're a Christian leader who wants to learn how to protect against abuse and help survivors, I want to invite you to join me at our upcoming Restore conference. This two-day event October 13 and 14, at Judson University in Elgin, Illinois, is a very special time of healing and equipping. Joining me will be author Wade Molen, whose book we referenced in this podcast, along with Lori Anne Thompson, Sheila Wray Gregoire, Mary Demuth, and more. For more information, go to RESTORE2023.COM. Also, just a quick reminder to subscribe to The Roys Report on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts or Spotify. That way, you'll never miss an episode. And while you're at it, I'd really appreciate it if you'd help us spread the word about the podcast by leaving a review. And then please share the podcast on social media so more people can hear about this great content. Again, thanks so much for joining me today. Hope you were blessed and encouraged. Read more

Guest Bios Show Transcript What do you do when you're being bullied by your Christian employer? Do you take it and simply turn the other cheek? Or, do you confront it, hoping for repentance and justice? Unfortunately, workplace bullying has become a major issue—not just in secular contexts, but in the church. In this podcast, Julie explores this issue with the whistleblower who exposed Dane Ortlund, Emily Hyland, and anti-bullying expert, Paul Coughlin. Ortlund is a Chicago-area pastor and author of the best-selling book, Gentle and Lowly. But, according to Emily, he's not very gentle or lowly; he's a bully—and a misogynist. And she says, when she complained about Ortlund's behavior to the elders of Naperville Presbyterian Church, where Emily worked, they fired her. Since then, Emily has filed a complaint with the Illinois Department of Human Rights, claiming retaliation. Last December, the Department of Human Rights ruled in Emily's favor and found “substantial evidence” of retaliation by Dane and Naperville Presbyterian. In this podcast, Emily tells her story and updates us on her case. She also shares insights about responding to bullying she gained from her firsthand experience. Anti-bullying expert Paul Coughlin also contributes to the podcast, sharing advice he's gained over decades of dealing with bullies. Paul met Emily at last year's Restore Conference. And Paul has been a source of support and wisdom for Emily throughout her whistleblowing process. If you've ever had to deal with a bully—or are dealing with one now—you'll find this podcast invaluable.  Guests Emily Hyland Emily Hyland earned her bachelors in Molecular Genetics and Biotechnology before working for the Office of Naval Research in Washington, DC. While there she received a MHSA in Management & Leadership from The George Washington University. She has worked with the US Army and the Office of the Surgeon General, Accenture, GE, and across finance, manufacturing, health services, and information technology. Recently, she was the Director of Operations at Naperville Presbyterian Church in suburban Illinois. She is married and has three children.  Paul Coughlin Paul Coughlin is an author, an international speaker and the founder and president of The Protectors, which is dedicated to helping schools, organizations and communities combat bullying. His books include No More Christian Nice Guy, Raising Bully-Proof Kids and 5 Secrets Great Dads Know. Paul and his wife, Sandy, reside in central Oregon and have three teenage children. Learn more about Paul and his organization at www.theprotectors.org. Show Transcript SPEAKERS JULIE ROYS, EMILY HYLAND, PAUL COUGHLIN JULIE ROYS 00:04 What do you do when you're being bullied by your Christian employer? Do you take it and simply turn the other cheek? Or do you confront it, hoping for repentance and justice? Welcome to the Roys report, a podcast dedicated to reporting the truth and restoring the church. I'm Julie Roys and joining me on this episode are Emily Hyland and Paul Coughlin. As you may remember, Emily is the whistleblower who filed a complaint with the Illinois Department of Human Rights concerning a well-known Chicago area pastor, Dane Ortlund. Ortlund is the author of the best-selling book, Gentle and Lowly. But according to Emily, he's not very gentle or lowly. He's a bully and a misogynist. And she says when she complained about Ortlund's behavior to the elders of Naperville Presbyterian Church, where Ortlund pastors, they fired her. But last December, the Department of Human Rights ruled in Emily's favor. It found substantial evidence of retaliation by Dane and Naperville Presbyterian Church in Emily's firing. And now that case is going to trial. Plus, there have been some additional charges added to that case. So, stay tuned, and you'll hear all about that. But also joining me on this podcast is Paul Coughlin. Paul is an expert on bullying and a repeat guest here on The Roys Report. He also was a speaker at last year's Restore conference. And I know from talking to Emily that she took pages of notes from Paul's talk, which was super eye opening. And it's out of that relationship and collaboration between Paul and Emily, that started at Restore, that this podcast was envisioned. I know many of you have experienced bullying in a Christian workplace. I get emails about this all the time. It's bad enough to be bullied in any workplace. But when it happens at a church or an organization that's supposed to be Christian, it's especially painful. So, I'm really looking forward to our podcast today. But before we dive in, I want to thank our sponsors, Judson University, and Marquardt of Barrington if you're looking for a top ranked Christian University, providing a caring community and an excellent college experience, Judson University is for you. Judson is located on 90 acres just 40 miles west of Chicago in Elgin, Illinois. The school offers more than 60 majors, great leadership opportunities and strong financial aid. Plus, you can take classes online as well as in person. Judson University is shaping lives that shaped the world. For more information, just go to JUDSONU.EDU. Also, if you're looking for a quality new or used car, I highly recommend my friends at Marquardt of Barrington. Marquardt is a Buick GMC dealership where you can expect honesty, integrity, and transparency. That's because the owners there Dan and Kurt Marquardt, are men of integrity. To check them out, just go to BUYACAR123.com. Well, again, joining me is the whistleblower in the Dane Ortlund discrimination and retaliation case, Emily Hyland. Emily was the Operations Director at Naperville Presbyterian Church in Naperville, Illinois. But in March 2021, just nine days after complaining of discrimination and bullying to church elders, Emily was abruptly fired. And she has two cases pending right now, one before the Illinois Department of Human Rights, and another with the Illinois Department of Labor. So, Emily, welcome. I'm so glad you could join us. EMILY HYLAND 03:30 Thank you, Julie. And thank you for your continued support and drawing attention to these important issues that men and women face when they're in a church and employed by one. JULIE ROYS 03:40 Well, it's my pleasure to do so. And again, also joining us is Paul Coughlin, founder of the anti-bullying group, The Protectors. He's also the author of a number of best-selling books, including No More Christian Nice Guy and Raising Bullyproof Kids. He's also worked with the Baltimore Ravens and is an expert witness. So, Paul, welcome back. It's just so great to be with you again. PAUL COUGHLIN 04:02 Great to be back. It's always wonderful. And Emily, good to hear your voice. JULIE ROYS 04:07 Well, it's so cool that the both of you actually met at the Restore conference. And I know that was before any of this became public. It's before the Illinois Department of Human Rights found substantial evidence of retaliation by the church and Dane Ortlund. But Paul, let me just start with you and ask when you first met Emily, what was your impression of her case and just what she had been through? PAUL COUGHLIN 04:33 Well, you know, you hear a lot of the same things when it comes to people who have been abused either adolescent bullying but then also bullying in the workplace, particularly faith centric areas. And honestly, what you often hear is a good amount of confusion at first. Many times, people who have this confusion going in their minds, they often may take it out on themselves as opposed to really seeing it more clearly, and in seeing it more clearly, it's not the fault of the target. It is the fault of the bully, and in many cases, the serial bully. JULIE ROYS 05:09 I hear a lot of these stories. And it's usually Wow, this is so awful. But I'm not expecting justice with the Illinois Department of Human Rights. You hardly ever get a ruling in your favor. Were you surprised when you heard that she had gotten this ruling? PAUL COUGHLIN 05:24 Very much so. I mean, Emily had a substantial case, substantial amount of evidence. And you know that evidence comes from people who, you know, obviously are willing to talk. Do you know how many people are not willing to talk? They know the score, but for a few fundamental reasons, they remain quiet, probably because they're worried that they'll be next. So, we have a substantial case, where chances are few people really spoke up. JULIE ROYS 05:50 And again, that case is pending. And towards the end of this podcast, Emily, I'm going to have you update us on the latest developments, because there are some really important ones there. But let's back up to your story, and what happened to you, Emily, for those who haven't read the news reports. I mean, it came out in December, even if you did read the report, you might be a little bit rusty on what happened. Would you give us the cliff notes of what happened to you, that led you to file this claim with the Illinois Department of Human Rights? EMILY HYLAND 06:21 Well, in some ways, it starts back before 2020 to my time at the church. I had been there since 2006, and Dane joined in 2007. So, for over a decade, we existed as two members of the same church, running into each other, same classes, same age kids. And so, when the former senior pastor left, a search committee was put together, Dane was on it. Two years go by and no senior pastor candidate. Well, then it's announced, Dane is going to be the senior pastor candidate. And by that time, I was on staff and the director of operations. And I was surprised because he hadn't been a pastor before. And I knew that the requirements for the job had been five years of pastoring experience. But I was since I knew him, I mean, he wasn't a stranger. I had no inclinations that this was something that was going to be so catastrophic. But when he started, things just weren't right. And they continued to get more wrong as the months went on. And as I started really telling myself, this isn't what you think, it's not right. I mean, maybe you're off, maybe you're just being a little petty. I had this mindset that was getting progressively more confused. And I was just talking circles to myself. And then finally, I happen to read in that February of 2021, when the Ravi Zacharias report came out. And in addition to obviously, the terrible accounts of sexual predation was the organizational aspect and how staff who raised questions who were having legitimate concerns, they weren't buying some of the early propaganda that was being put out, that those staff were being bullied. And I read those reports, and I looked at this, and I'm like, Oh, my gosh, that is what is going on here. And I was shocked, because I finally had words and labels to what I was feeling, what I was experiencing. And so, I take the next maybe month, I read up a little bit more about the differences between bullying, harassment, rudeness, inconsiderateness, to really make sure that I'm linguistically precise in this matter. And it comes to a head when I call up two of the elders, and I tell them privately, I think I'm being bullied. I think it's because I'm a woman. I myself had a hard time getting those words out, because I didn't want to be bullied. And I didn't want it to be because of my gender. So, the two elders sat on this for a little bit, because Dane was out of town. And when they brought it to Dane, that next Monday, it started the floor falling out of everything, where it was very swiftly after that, then maybe 12 hours, that I was going to be fired. And it took a few days. And in the meantime, I didn't know what was happening. I just knew that this couldn't continue. This was not the right behavior. I wanted the elders to help me navigate this and to be safe in it. But that's not at all what happened. That at the end of the week, Dane fired me, and they had no elder walk me out the door. And then I was done. They follow that up by Dane telling the staff that I had been fired for cause and to not reach out to me. JULIE ROYS 09:53 In a day. Right. You lost your church of how many years? EMILY HYLAND 09:58 I had been there almost 15 years by that point. JULIE ROYS 10:02 You lost your job. You lost your church family. And you were ostracized at this point. People weren't even talking to you, correct? EMILY HYLAND 10:12 Oh, right. Yeah, it was full on disfellowshipping. I mean, I didn't know what that word was until somebody told me I was like, Ooh, yeah, that is exactly what it is. I had people who wouldn't even look at me in public. These were people I had served with for 15 years. And I didn't believe it could happen. I still I mean, my husband still cannot process that element of it, which is that he cannot believe that people who I've been with for that long would turn because I didn't do anything to them. I didn't even say anything publicly about Dane. I mean, this was two conversations with elders. And now people won't speak to me. And that really continues now. JULIE ROYS 10:50 Really, to this day? Yeah. And I want you to comment on this, Paul. But first, I'd like to read a statement by Dave Veerman, who was an elder at the time. So, he participated in the firing. A few months after it happened, clearly had a change of heart, and he resigned himself. And his statement really played a pivotal role in the Illinois Department of Human Rights in their ruling. So, I'd like to read it. I can't read the whole thing just because of the length. But some portions I think would be really instructive as to what happened and even corroborating what you're saying. So, this is what he writes. The 2021 version of the Personnel Committee met a couple of times via zoom to discuss a few relatively minor issues. Then we got word that Dane wanted to have us deal with a serious issue with a staff member. At this Zoom meeting on March 16, he said he wanted to let Emily go and made vague references about her performance and relationships with other staff. He also said that he had met with her a couple of times, so we thought she had a pretty good idea of where this was heading. Let me just pause there. Did you have any idea you were going to be fired? EMILY HYLAND 10:51 None. It was so shocking. And this was two days before Palm Sunday. I mean, it is going into the biggest week of the Church year, and to just be like, Oh, we don't need a director of operations. And we certainly don't need her to do any turnover. We don't need her to give us any of the information that she has been using in her job for eight years. I was completely surprised. JULIE ROYS 12:18 Well, and apparently Dave shared your sentiments there. He writes, this news was a shock to us because we had always been impressed with Emily and what she had done for the church. In addition, we had just had a session meeting on March 15, in which nothing had been said about her and her performance. Dane also said that Emily had gone to two elders that she felt close to, and thought would listen empathically and give wise counsel. Later, I learned that she had shared how she had been mistreated recently by Dane and was asking advice on how she should respond. And then I'm gonna skip through some of it and read. He describes that he had several meetings, then with elders and different people. Then he writes, even though I didn't know Emily's side of the story, I voted to move ahead with Dane's recommendation. Our next step was to inform the other elders. So, the three of us each took a few men to call. Then Dane set up a meeting with Emily for Friday, March 19, to inform her and he asked me to be there. At that brief meeting at 1pm, Dane fired Emily saying it was, quote, the will of the session. Unsurprisingly, Emily was quite upset, although trying to maintain her composure. I tried to just listen and not say much. She started reading the agreement. Apparently was there an NDA that they had given you? EMILY HYLAND 13:32 Yeah. On top of the details regarding severance. JULIE ROYS 13:35 Is there anything remarkable about that, or pretty standard? 13:39 I think that it was passed off as something that oh, this is just how we do things. We don't really know what's in here. But I read contracts very thoroughly and to be like, Wow, no NDA, no severance. That was how it was written, is that if I did not sign away, my legal rights, agree to confidentiality and agree to a non-disparagement, I mean, never saying anything negative about the pastors, the officers, the church or how I was treated. That was the only way I was gonna get any severance. And that's how it was written. There was no mention of why I was terminated. It wasn't for cause that was it. JULIE ROYS 14:15 I wish I could say that that was remarkable in some way. I've learned that's very unremarkable that's very similar to what I got from the Moody Bible Institute when I was fired. And so many people that I've talked to are getting NDAs now, and I'm glad that this issue is coming to the fore. That people are realizing that churches now are giving NDAs, that Christian organizations are giving them and they're about as carnal a document as there is and it is there to protect the institution; has nothing and no care and concern for the employee. As a sister in Christ or a part of the church, but I digress on my editorial comment on that one. But NDAs are just I just think they're evil. He continues to write, Emily brought up her recollection of being bullied and strongly pushed back on the decision because of the current cultural attitudes toward misogyny. Skipping ahead. Later, I learned that at 3:30pm, a staff meeting was held to announce Emily's termination. Dane said 1) Emily was fired for cause, 2) the decision was the will of the session, a session being in a Presbyterian Church sort of the equivalent of the elder board, and 3) staff should not contact her. I need to say that because of Dane's actions, a few months later, I resigned as an elder and my wife and I left the church. Not to go into many details, but at that time I heard Dane give many of the same rationalizations and explanations for his attitudes and actions in this precipitating conflict. It made me rethink my decision regarding Emily, that I had made a mistake. My agreeing to terminate Emily's employment was based almost entirely on believing the word of Dane, my pastor. I realized now that I should have looked deeper, ask more questions, and met with Emily to get her side of the story. And again, that's Dave Veerman, a former elder there at Naperville Presbyterian church. Paul, as you listen to this letter, I could see on your face, yes, we're on Zoom, by the way, folks, but I could tell that you're resonating with some things in there. But what stood out to you, as you heard that letter? PAUL COUGHLIN 16:22 That elder is a rare person, sadly. I mean, that's a rare person who's going to stick their neck out like that. But those are the people who really keep integrity on the table. So, if I had a hat on, I would take it off to that gentleman. You know, there's a lot of things that Emily has talked about. And we spoke earlier about the pattern of behavior, right, that people undergo. And when you recognize that pattern, you begin to realize you're not crazy. And one of the things that is so painful for targets is betrayal. You could hear it in Emily's voice. And she talked about it; people not talking to her, been at the same church for something like 15 years and people don't talk to you. The emotional impact of bullying in the workplace itself is swampy for many people. And then you have this being ostracized. And one thing I'd like to point out for any workplace, but especially faith centric workplaces, is that you're going to expect people to live by a certain level of integrity. And sadly, for whatever reason, it seems to be baked into the system, betrayal is coming. I'm reminded, and I've experienced that we've all licked our wounds when it comes to this behavior. I'm reminded of that wonderful movie Braveheart, where William Wallace was in. JULIE ROYS 17:45 One of my favorites, by the way. PAUL COUGHLIN 17:46 I'm not surprised. He's betrayed by his best friend. And because of that, his heart is completely taken out of the battle, he doesn't care anymore. That is what will happen to us. And so, what I would like to say to our listeners right now is that don't be surprised by the betrayal. For some reason, it is baked into the system, in most cases, most of the time. I'm reminded by that quote from Martin Luther King, who said, in the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. It's just how it goes down. It's par for the course. But I would also want to say to the people listening now who could be that support structure around others, please keep that in mind. You can play a profound role, not just in bringing fairness into the workplace and with integrity, but also in the psychological and spiritual bolstering of another person, you're that important. JULIE ROYS 18:49 And I've heard that repeatedly from people who have been victims of spiritual abuse, church abuse, retaliation, bullying. That they can handle that there's one bad apple. Like, they can handle that there's a bully pastor out there, right? They can deal with that. What they can't deal with, is that everybody got in line with that guy. Everybody stood there silently, while they were excoriated for false charges against them, whatever, and that the average person stood by and did nothing. And that's been my experience. I know, I just had a birthday recently. I don't even know if I should say this. But, you know, you get these greetings from folks that you're like, wait, you haven't talked to me since the day I was fired! In fact, you wouldn't take my phone calls. But okay. Thanks for the Happy Birthday. Appreciate that. I mean, it's one of those things that's just absolutely stunning. And this is why I think spiritual abuse and church hurt is far worse and more fundamental than other kinds of abuse. And I'm not meaning to minimize certainly all of them are horrible, horrible. But there's something about this that just goes to the core of your belief system of who you think people are. And if we don't separate out, God's people from God Himself, can really mess up and distort our image of who God is. And I think there's so many people deconstructing today, whatever you want to call it, are just trying to come to grips with what is it that was true that I believed and what was just the stuff that I accepted with it that really wasn't? And I know there's people listening who are there, I've been there, right? I'm still there to some degree, you know. PAUL COUGHLIN 20:39 And Julie, could I add to that our Lord was bullied before He was crucified. Our Lord knows exactly what it's like to experience betrayal, false accusations, to put up with the arrogance and the hubris of other people. And he can empathize with our weaknesses, he knows exactly what it was like, because the crucifixion included many of the same components of workplace bullying. So he is on our side, he knows exactly how we feel, and he is there for us. EMILY HYLAND 21:11 I thought about that over the last few years, when you take communion, and it starts with on the night he was betrayed. You can just stop right there and say, Jesus knows what it's like to be betrayed, and forsaken by everyone who you thought was for you and with you. I mean, to identify in that aspect of religious community is a thread of hope you can have because Jesus knows betrayal. JULIE ROYS 21:39 I'm so glad that you both brought that up. Because I think the ability to identify with Christ in his sufferings, if you've been through something like this, is much greater. And yet, as I've experienced it, the eye opening thing hasn't so much been that I get to suffer with him. But it makes me so much more aware of how hideous the suffering that Jesus endured. Just having tasted a small amount of what he went through, has given me just such a greater appreciation for the suffering of Christ by being able to enter into it again, in a very small way, comparatively. PAUL COUGHLIN 22:21 Julie, one thing I tried to point out for people who you've talked about, like deconstructing faith, and all three of us have gone through its process right. In my mind, one thing that I have tried to do to try to keep things clear is the difference between churchianity and Christianity. And I think when we see this suffering of Christ, of such great unfairness, I see that in the category of true Christianity, that's what it's about. What we are experiencing in faith centric organizations is what I would call churchianity. And I believe that there's obviously overlap between the two. But also, there's great distinctions. I think that's very helpful for people who have been abused so that they can start thinking of it in terms like that, because it helps them hopefully not throw the baby out with the bathwater, where it's all bad, and it's all wrong. Rather, it helps to put it in context. JULIE ROYS 22:22 Well, much of what we're going to be talking about in this podcast is really looking back and thinking, what I wish I had known then that I know now, because it is a learning process. And man, can it be a rude awakening, but an important one. It's like the matrix as the red pill or the blue pill, right? You know, those of us who have taken I don't know, is it the red pill that opens your eyes? But yeah, if you take that pill, there's no undoing it, and you see it. Let me just start with you, Emily, I know one of the things that you said, if you were to do this over again, is you would stop talking to yourself and start listening to yourself. What do you mean by that? EMILY HYLAND 23:55 Well, as I said earlier, I think I was talking myself in circles, and something would happen, and I would disconnect from my intuition. It felt wrong, but I told myself, nah, and I downplayed the harm that was coming, which I know now, like, that's not mercy. Mercy is an intentional weighing of the harm that you receive, and a decision to forgive it. To just dismiss harm, and to downplay it and pretend like that wasn't harm, that's actually not mercy. I think that, particularly to Christian circles, we think of the Spirit speaking through our intuition. For instance, if I had an intuition to go and talk to a neighbor, and invite them to a church choir service, we would say that that's the you know, Spirit leading you. But it doesn't work in the other way. Like if you have this intuition that, you know, I think something's wrong here. I think my pastor isn't behaving as a pastor should, that your mind does not really like that absolutely could be the Spirit speaking on your attentions, you're trying to tell it this Be quiet, and to stop talking. And so, I think I was trying to rationalize away a pattern of events. And now, if I could go back, I would have told myself Stop, listen to how you're feeling, and especially your sympathetic system. I mean, that is there by God's design. And when we feel fear, when we feel out of control, when we feel afraid, or wanting to run away, or pressured, and those hormones start making you feel stressed and anxious, that's not nothing. That's your body responding to something that is really happening. And that I should have been listening much more carefully to that, instead of just telling myself in my higher brain, oh, don't bother with that. It was like, No, this is merely myself trying to protect myself. And I discounted it for a very long time. Until one day, like I said, I just happened to read a description of what workplace bullying in Christian ministry looked like. And it was like my intuition just got plugged in all at once. And it was like, Whoa, now, what followed was my intuition bracket was perfect. I mean, it was remarkable how, yeah, I was right on this stuff. I was accurate. And I didn't really want to be, I didn't want to be bullied, and I didn't want to work for a bullying pastor. None of that was by design. But identifying those behaviors, identifying what was going on behind the scenes, was when that intuition reconnected. And I think that if I could have gone back, I would have listened to my intuition, and realized, yes, that is the spirit, it's saying some hard stuff that I didn't want to hear. But that silencing it was to my own detriment. JULIE ROYS 26:53 And let's also acknowledge that in a lot of these churches, we're hearing consistent message often of listen to the authorities in your church, be submissive to the authorities in your church and their leadership. Don't gossip, the meddling, we're hearing those constantly. And so, it's a cognitive dissonance that you're dealing with. And I remember we did a surprise birthday party for my husband once. And there were numerous times that he should have figured out what was going on. And he just didn't like, and afterwards, we asked him because he was so surprised. Like, how did you not get that? And he's like, I don't know. It's just like this cognitive dissonance and you throw out things that don't fit the narrative. And you just, it's funny how we do that. One of the best books out there, and it's funny that you've even said it several times. And when you're talking about this, is it something's not right. And I think Wade Mullins book, Something's Not Right, is just so so good in helping you put your finger on that. So, if you've never read this book, you have to read Something's Not Right. It's just so good. Or listen to Wade's talk at the Restore conference, where he talks about some of these things. They're all available at our YouTube channel, you can see that. And by the way, Paul, your talk on bullying is available on video on our YouTube channel. It's also available as a podcast, I think June 23, I think of last year is when we published that. So, you can go back and listen to Paul's whole talk on bullying, which is I know mind blowing for so so many people. Paul, as you hear what Emily just said about trusting that intuition, what comes to mind for you? PAUL COUGHLIN 28:31 A number of things. One thing that would have really helped Emily and so many other people is if she had at least one person standing by her side. She talked about almost like talking to herself and the cycle. We all get into that. And what really helps if we have a person, ideally, a person who is wise, but also more than wisdom, courageous. If we have someone to confide in, they can talk us out of those circular thinking, tends to spiral down, not up usually. And in that wisdom that they give us, we can find the seeds of courage as well because when we get clarity, we have a much stronger ability to move forward, hopefully in an intelligent way with both truth and grace and love. So, there are people out there who need us desperately in that situation. And I'd like to point out a distinction statistically between men and women when bullied in the workplace. Statistically, men tend to get angry and leave. Women tend to medicate and stay. And unfortunately, and to hear that the protectors what we do is we often advise find another job because it can be so damaging to the person's spirit to their soul when they undergo this work. And statistically it can be harder on women. That damage can go deeper and last longer. In fact, many of the characteristics of PTSD are the same that happens in the workplace, then people returning from war, it can be that bad. So, it's an important distinction to keep in mind. You know what I think what happened was Emily, is they picked on the wrong person, and I've told Emily this; is that chances are the people in her former workplace, the main pastor particularly, in my opinion, has probably been doing this for a long time, has probably been targeting people specific people and getting his way. And what happened is he probably targeted the wrong person; a person of a lot of backbone. You can tell Emily's very sharp, but sharpness alone won't do it. Functioning degree of courage is often necessary in order to defend yourself. And we have a wonderful success story now, I think because of Emily's character of who she is. JULIE ROYS 31:04 Well, this concludes part one of my podcast with Paul and Emily on bullying in a Christian workplace. In part two, you'll hear Emily describe more of what she wishes she knew back when she was being bullied that she knows now. And you'll hear more expert advice from Paul Coughlin, on how to deal with bullies. And also, why you may have become a target. PAUL COUGHLIN 31:25 Bullies in the workplace, particularly within the church, they use our niceness against us. It's one of the reasons why we're targeted. We don't use the word victim at the protectors very often, we prefer the word target. And here's why. You have been selected, the bully in the workplace, the bully pastor has picked on some people but not other people. Why is that? Because a bully is not looking for a fight, they want to overwhelm another person. So, they look for the nice person, they look for the person, for example, who lives by turning the other cheek. JULIE ROYS 31:57 Also, just a quick reminder to subscribe to The Roys Report on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts or Spotify. That way you'll never miss an episode. And while you're at it, I'd really appreciate it if you'd help us spread the word about the podcast by leaving a review. And then please share the podcast on social media so more people can hear about this great content. Again, thanks so much for joining me today. Hope you were blessed and encouraged. Well, again, that's Paul Coughlin. And we'll be releasing part two of this podcast in just a few days. So, you want to be watching for that. Also, if you're a survivor of church hurt or abuse, or you're a Christian leader who just wants to learn more about how to protect against abuse and help survivors, I want to invite you to join me at our upcoming Restore conference. This two-day event, October 13 and 14 at Judson University in Elgin, Illinois, is a very special time of healing and equipping. Joining me will be author Wade Molen, whose book we referenced in this podcast, along with Lori Anne Thompson, Sheila Ray Gregoire, Mary Demuth, and more. For more information, go to RESTORE2023.COM. Also, just a quick reminder to subscribe to The Roys Report on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts or Spotify. That way you'll never miss an episode. And while you're at it, I'd really appreciate it if you'd help us spread the word about the podcast by leaving a review. And then please share the podcast on social media so more people can hear about this great content. Again, thanks so much for joining me today. Hope you were blessed and encouraged. Read more

Men, are you making the mistake of being NICE? Many men in the church mistake goodness with niceness. In this reboot episode, Jim was joined by Paul Coughlin, author of the book No More Christian Nice Guy, to teach you the difference between the two.

Sherry is an author, speaker, blogger and radio host. She's the founder of Soul H2O, which is a hub of resources where you will find her award-winning blog, devotionals, online Bible studies, courses and her radio program and podcast which are hosted on Joy Radio. She's written two books, Water in the Desert and Soul H20, both are 40-day devotionals designed to lead you closer to God.   Take a few minutes to meditate on Matthew 5:43-48 and then listen in to hear where God led Sherry.   Some highlights from our conversation: Who is your neighbor and how are you to love them? Sherry walked us through her experience and also points us to Scripture (like the Good Samaritan) to help us answer this question. We also talk about boundaries, why they are important and how Sherry has grown in her ability to establish boundaries. This is a difficult passage. We talk about how to walk these truths out – and to what extent. We talk about what it means to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven in perfect. What does the word “perfect” mean – and where do we ultimately find the ability to be “perfect”?   Resources mentioned in the podcast God Meant it For Good, RT Kendall Boundaries, Henry Cloud and John Townsend No More Christian Nice Girl, Paul Coughlin and Jennifer D. Degler, PhD When to Walk Away, Gary Thomas   You can find Sherry at https://www.sherrystahl.com/ Where you will also find links to her books, blog and radio show Follow on Instagram: @sherry_stahl Follow on Facebook: AuthorSherryStahl   The exact verses read in this podcast are Matthew 5:43-48, NLT   43 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor' and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. 46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.

Paul Coughlin, founder of The Protectors, discusses the pandemic of bullying.   www.thedove.us

Top Ten Podcasts in Each of the Five Essentials Fighting Apathy                               Book                          10. Kenny Luck (EP 164)               Dangerous Good 9. Paul Cole (Ep 338)                  Just a Bartender 8. Stephen Mansfield (Ep 130)   God and Guinness 7. Elmo Winters (Ep 374)             Overcoming Racism 6. Clarence Shuler (Ep 435)        Keeping your wife   5. Paul Friesen (Ep 297)               Lovin' Your Wife Like Christ When You Ain't No Jesus.   4. Todd Wilson   (Ep 380)            Family Man Ministry 3. Paul Coughlin   (Ep 316)           No More Christian Nice Guy 2. Brad Huddleston (Ep 453)       Digital Cocaine 1. Allen Schwartz (Ep 281)            Leadville 100  Join Our Program. www.meninthearena.org Men in the Arena Books and Swag Support the Podcast

A growing number of men are physically present in their homes and marriages – but emotionally they abandoned their spouses and families a long time...

Author Paul Coughlin has seen too many guys who are married but not engaged to their wives.

Guest Bios Show Transcript Bullying is a huge issue in schools and workplaces. But what do you do when your bully is a pastor or leader of a Christian organization? Do you give a gentle word and turn the other cheek? Or, do you stand up and fight? On this edition of The Roys Report, we'll hear from Paul Coughlin, a best-selling author and nationally recognized anti-bullying expert, as he speaks at the Restore Conference.

Our kids are growing up in a culture where bullying is becoming more and more common – but your child does not have to be...

The Bible says that “perfect love casts out fear.” So we is it so difficult for us to live out?

In this 4-Part Episode, Jamey Caldwell from 1 Minute Out and Paul Coughlin from Taconic Distillery meet up with Rick Hogg from War HOGG Tactical, Chris “Dutch” Moyer from DCM Consulting and Pat McNamara from TMACS Inc for some unfiltered conversation about bourbon, cigars and their time in service.

Guest Bios Show Transcript Bullies. We've all encountered them on the playground. But what happens when you encounter them in your church? In this edition of The Roys Report, joining Julie to talk about bullies in the pulpit is Paul Coughlin, an expert on bullying and a best-selling author and speaker. Contrary to popular opinion, Paul says bullies aren't typically “wounded” people who are seeking to ease their pain.

As a child Paul Coughlin endured severe physical and verbal bullying mostly from his family. After getting married and having children of his own, Paul sought counseling and turned his past nightmare into a ministry serving thousands of teens and tweens around the globe. Through creating The Protectors program, Paul has witnessed over 7,000 bullies publicly apologize to their classmates during one of his live events. In addition, Paul provides individual instruction to targets of bullying and their families and informs them on what type of person a bully preys on. The top way to stop bullying in its tracks lies in no longer being a witness, but a protector to those who are being harassed. TAKEAWAYS The most damaging myths about bullying Prevent becoming the target for a bully and instilling boldness What a parent should do when they know their child is being bullied The consequences of witnessing bullying and remaining silent

In this Equipping in Ten episode Jim talks about what it means to be that man who is the protector.  -Never Pick a Fight. Finish It. Now the overseer is… not violent. —1 Timothy 3:2-3 (NIV) An overseer…must (not) be…pugnacious. —1 Timothy 3:2-3 “There is one fairly good reason for fighting—and that is, if the other man starts it…When you can be perfectly certain that the other man started them, then is the time when you might have a sort of duty to stop them.” ― T.H. White The Once and Future King “Though God hates bullying, too many Christians don't.” —Paul Coughlin, Free Us from Bullying “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. —Edmund Burke (1729-1797) “Never violate a woman, nor harm a child. Do not lie, cheat or steal. These things are for lesser men. Protect the weak against the evil strong.”  — David Gemmell (1948-2006)  White Wolf Get Your Copy Now! of Tell Them, What Great Fathers Tell Their Sons and Daughters www.meninthearena.org Men in the Arena Books and Swag Support the Podcast  

On today's MinistryWatch Extra episode, my guest is Paul Coughlin.  Paul is the founder and president of The Protectors, an Oregon-based non-profit committed to ending bullying in schools, churches, and elsewhere.  He is an expert witness regarding bullying and the law, and is a FoxNews contributor. He's appeared on Good Morning America, Nightline, C-Span, The LA Times, The New York Times, Newsweek and other media outlets. Paul is also the author of eight books on the topic of bullying, including his most recent, “Free Us From Bullying:  Real Solutions Beyond Nice.”  

On today's MinistryWatch Extra episode, my guest is Paul Coughlin.  Paul is the founder and president of The Protectors, an Oregon-based non-profit committed to ending bullying in schools, churches, and elsewhere.  He is an expert witness regarding bullying and the law, and is a FoxNews contributor. He's appeared on Good Morning America, Nightline, C-Span, The LA Times, The New York Times, Newsweek and other media outlets. Paul is also the author of eight books on the topic of bullying, including his most recent, “Free Us From Bullying:  Real Solutions Beyond Nice.”  

When Paul Coughlin married his wife, Sandy, they thought they would have a “nice” marriage. But in time, Paul came to realize that his wife...

When Paul Coughlin married his wife, Sandy, they thought they would have a “nice” marriage. But in time, Paul came to realize that his wife...

Too many men in the Church today are trying to be “nice” instead of Godly.

Too many men in the Church today are trying to be “nice” instead of Godly.

Top Ten Podcasts in Each of the Five Essentials Fighting Apathy                               Book                          10. Kenny Luck (Ep 164)             Dangerous Good 9. Paul Cole (Ep 338)                  Just a Bartender 8. Stephen Mansfield (Ep 130)   God and Guinness 7. Elmo Winters (Ep 374)             Overcoming Racism   6. Clarence Shuler (Ep 435)        Keeping your wife   5. Paul Freisen (Ep 297)               Lovin' Your Wife Like Christ When You Ain't No Jesus.   4. Todd Wilson   (Ep 380)            Family Man Ministry 3. Paul Coughlin   (Ep 316)           No More Christian Nice Guy 2. Brad Huddleston (Ep 453)       Digital Cocaine 1. Allen Schwartz (Ep 281)            Leadville 100  www.meninthearena.org Men in the Arena Books and Swag Support the Podcast

Feelings of guilt and regret can really drag you down……and all too often in blended family life, guilt and regret are easily triggered.  They sometimes keep you stuck — unable to break free from a heavy emotional burden.Kim knows first-hand what it's like to be trapped in that place.  She's also discovered that she didn't have to allow painful guilt and regret to dictate her decisions or negatively impact her life.In this hope-filled episode Kim shares her personal struggles with debilitating guilt and regret — and ways she faced those difficult emotions in order to move beyond them.Listen in to discover a new mindset, practical tips and fresh encouragement to help you break free from the burden of guilt and regret.You'll Discover:The difference between guilt and regretThe truth about 'false guilt' and why it's irrational, destructive and futileHow unhealthy guilt can negatively impact your parenting, marriage and overall wellbeingWhy people living in stepfamily dynamics are especially prone to experiencing painful emotions connected to guilt and regret 3 practical and healthy ways to overcome the burden of guilt and regret Resources from this Episode:Article by Paul Coughlin:  Origins of False Guilt Episode 91:  Is Your Husband's Hostile Ex-Wife Invading Your life, Stealing Your Joy and Confidence? (Tips apply to all co-parenting relationships)Episode 53: Overcoming Discouragement Episode 71:  How to Help Kids Cope with Painful DisappointmentSubscribe & Review in Apple PodcastsAre you subscribed to our podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you to subscribe today so you don't miss an episode.  Click here to subscribe in Apple PodcastsNow if you're feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they're fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!Want to Support the Show?You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community.  By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you'll have even more access directly to us!  Click here to join our community todayWant to share your WIN? Click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Hi Whiskey Ringers, it is episode 7! Thank you so much for listening and please share with your friends, family, and fellow whiskey lovers.  On this episode, I've got Paul Coughlin, founder of Taconic Distillery in New York's Hudson Valley. New York whiskey - bourbon, rye, single malts - is fascinating and deeply personal to me. I love talking to friends and distillers throughout New York about different styles, the history of distilling in New York, and what makes New York unique in the distilling landscape. Of course, the first thing that comes to mind is Empire Rye, a non-legal set of standards for New York rye, but that'll be talked about on a future episode.  Taconic is probably my favorite New York-based distillery. There might be a product here and there from another place that I like more, but I don't think another New York distillery has the consistency of product that Taconic has. There's also no other distillery in New York from which I enjoy nearly every product they make. Are you a New York distillery listening to this and thinking “hey, we've got some great stuff, have you tried us?” I'll be honest, the answer is probably no. And that's on me, but hey, we're only on episode 7! If you do want me to try your products, just shoot me an email: David@whiskeyinmyweddingring.com, or reach out to me on Facebook, instagram, or through the website.  Lastly, this will be a slightly shorter episode - I promise, I'll be visiting Taconic in person to talk to the full team and get more info out of Brandon and Paul hopefully over the summer. If you haven't yet, please follow Whiskey in my Wedding Ring and the Whiskey Ring Podcast on Instagram and Facebook and subscribe to the newsletter on whiskeyinmyweddingring.com.  If you like what you hear, please consider supporting the site and the podcast. You can help out for as little as $2.50 a month at www.patreon.com/whiskeyinmyweddingring. Thank you also to our sponsors, Mash and Grape and Cairn Craft.  You can find Taconic online and on Instagram and Facebook.  Subscribe to the Whiskey Ring Podcast on your favorite podcast platform today! We're on Podbean, Spotify, Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and most other major podcast platforms. Every subscription and listen helps us get sponsors, secure guests, and ultimately get more content to you. Thank you for listening and for supporting, and please enjoy this episode with Paul Coughlin of Taconic Distillery.  Cheers! David

Bullies, cliques, and peer pressure. Our kids probably face it every day. And as adults, it's still around. What do you do? Joining Dr. Randy is Paul Coughlin of the Protectors, and they'll help you overcome those challenges. You can become more intentional in just 30 days! Sign up for Dr. Randy’s INTENTIONAL ONE THING […]

Bullies, cliques, and peer pressure. Our kids probably face it every day. And as adults, it's still around. What do you do? Joining Dr. Randy is Paul Coughlin of the Protectors, and they'll help you overcome those challenges. You can become more intentional in just 30 days! Sign up for Dr. Randy’s INTENTIONAL ONE THING […]

Paul Coughlin Interview: Taconic Distillery's Founder Chats Passion for Whiskey, Origin Story of the Company, Cocktails & The Great Outdoors The Birdies & Bourbon team had a blast chatting with Taconic Distillery's Founder, Paul Coughlin. This family run distillery is producing some wonderful whiskey expressions and bourbon barrel aged maple syrup. Taconic Distillery has some developed some outstanding spirits within their lineup of offerings. On the show we sample their Dutchess Private Reserve Straight Bourbon Whiskey which was outstanding and very unique to their New York roots. The Double Barrel Maple Bourbon Syrup is a perfect way to start you mornings. Grab some Taconic Distillery, sip along and listen/watch. Be sure to check out Taconic Distillery online at https://www.taconicdistillery.com/home or via the links on their website to the Social pages. The Neat Glass. Be sure to check out The Neat Glass online at theneatglass.com or on Instagram @theneatglass for an improved experience and use discount code: bb10 to receive your Birdies & Bourbon discount. Thank you for taking the time listen to the Birdies & Bourbon Show for all things PGA Tour, golf, gear, bourbon and mixology. Dan & Cal aim to bring you entertaining and informative episodes weekly. Please help spread the word on the podcast and tell a friend about the show. You can also help by leaving an 5-Star iTunes review. We love to hear the feedback and support! Cheers. Follow on Twitter & Instagram (@birdies_bourbon)

Look around. We are in a battle and to engage in this battle you must know the enemy. On this episode of the Soul Gym, we discuss some of the lies the devil uses to deceive us. The first one is that he's not real. Oh, he's very real and he is out to steal, kill, and destroy. Have no fear, you will not fall for his lies if you know the truth. Not my truth or your truth, but "THE" truth. Ahhh ... FREEDOM! Keep in Touch: soulgymsisters.com Mental Muscle: When someone is deceived they don't know it. The cruel irony. Niceness doesn't heal a broken heart. Authenticity does. Jesus always bucked the culture. Resources: patriotacademy.com No More Christian Nice Girl, Paul Coughlin & Jennifer D. Degler, PhD --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/crystal14/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/crystal14/support

A growing number of men are physically present in their homes and marriages – but emotionally they abandoned their spouses and families a long time...

Author Paul Coughlin has seen too many guys who are married but not engaged to their wives.

The Christian still encounters the darkness of today—so what then is the follower of Christ to do? As Micah reminds, followers of Christ are called to do justice, love mercy and walk humbly. In reverse the three requirements are a humble fellowship with God, that is, childlike dependence on Him; then a love for kindness, that is, a heart that loves to show mercy; and then deeds of justice, that is, a life of faith-filled actions, especially on behalf of those who are mistreated. In this episode of New Wine UnCorked, the mistreatment of the other is the topic of our dialogue as Paul Coughlin joins Dr. Matthew Farlow. Paul is the founder and president of The Protectors. The Protectors Is the only faith-centered organization helping Christian schools across the world for more than a decade to reduce bullying through its effective and evidence-based program. #bully #dontbullyme #bullying #maga #good #beautiful #true http://www.theprotectors.org/

I am so thankful to be able to continue my conversation with Candace Dugger about the realities of bullying in our homeschooling communities and our children's lives in today's episode.  Candace is an expert in addressing bullying and teaching educators and parents and children how to handle bullying.  Not only as the victim, but also as the perpetrator.  Bullying is multifaceted and it has evolved onto our technology platforms in video games and social media.  We need to learn the new language of bullying and how it is affecting us and our children in order to protect.  Candace Dugger helps us to learn.She has so many resources and recommends watching the documentaries Bully  and The Social Dilemma.  She works with Paul Coughlin, author of Free Us from Bullying: Real Solutions Beyond Being Nice to spread knowledge of what bullying is and how to recognize and address it.  Candace also has many courses coming up that she talks about in the episode You can find more information at https://www.bulliedbrokenredeemed.com

Paul Coughlin wrote one of the best books on Christian masculinity ever written - “No More Christian Nice Guy”. Today on Brave Men we get inside the mind of a thought leader and cultural contributor. This will get you fired up about taking the Gospel to the culture we live in. Paul is also an expert witness regarding bullying and is a FoxNews contributor. He's been a newspaper editor, conference speaker and a championship winning high school varsity soccer coach. Paul is the best-selling author of eight books, including the freedom-from-bullying parent and teacher resource Raising Bully-Proof Kids. He works with numerous professional organizations to diminish bullying, including the Baltimore Ravens. His anti-bullying curriculum is used throughout North America as well as in South Africa, Uganda, Australia, New Zealand and Brazil among other countries.

Our kids are growing up in a culture where bullying is becoming more and more common – but your child does not have to be...

The Bible says that “perfect love casts out fear.” So we is it so difficult for us to live out?

In this episode listen to expert Paul Coughlin discuss the aspects of developing courage in Gen Z. 

Scripture says we are given both life and breath because breath is what animates our spirit when we choose to take action. But as Paul Coughlin shares, all men have life but not all men have breath, and that is why their lives are unfulfilled. Plus, the defining characteristic of God that Paul shared with atheists; Joe Ehrmann on a powerful solution to bullying; President Theodore Roosevelt on being a person of influence; Tocqueville on what causes depression for those who seem to have it all; Dr. Julie Slattery on why Legos are a metaphor for happiness; Peter Hammond on true prayer; Chesterton on why honorable soldiers fight; how the Army defines courage; and Todd Beamer’s witness to taking action when it is needed most.

Joseph Warren chats with: Paul Coughlin FoxNews Analyst, Author & Anti-Bullying Speaker "Men are lacking spiritual courage... we need to be tender and tough." Top 3 Spiritual Insights: ★ Forgive others, start small ★ Speak the truth with love ★ Pick something to stand for Links From Today’s Show:TheProtectors.org Support The Show: One-Time | Monthly ★ Spiritual Life Coaching >> ★ REDUCE Anxiety in 5-MINS! Music: Purple-Planet.com

Paul Coughlin is an expert witness regarding bullying and the law, and is a FoxNews analyst and contributor. He is a popular speaker who has appeared on Good Morning America, Nightline, C-Span, The LA Times, The New York Times, Newsweek and other media outlets. Paul is a best-selling author of eight books, including the freedom-from-bullying parent and teacher resource Raising Bully-Proof Kids, as well as a former newspaper editor. He works with numerous professional organizations to diminsh bullying, including the Baltimore Ravens. His anti-bullying curriculum is used throughout North America as well as in South Africa, Uganda, Australia, New Zealand and Brazil among other countries. Paul is a boys varsity soccer coach, where he was voted Coach of the Year twice. Paul has also previously served as a member of the Board of Trustees for St. Mary’s School in Medford, Oregon. Paul is a popular men’s conference speaker who has inspired thousands across North America as well as in Wales and England. Contact Paul to have him speak at your next event by clicking here! In this ground-breaking book with a timeless message to men and also women, Paul Coughlin explains why being a “nice guy” is disastrous to everyone involved. Instead, Paul shows how the abundant life that God has for us is found through a more assertive orientation toward life, growing faith, saving marriage, bolstering careers, and in some cases even saving life itself. No More Christian Nice Guy. 186. Raising Protectors of the Weak Pt. 1 188. Raising Protectors of the Weak Pt. 2 Boots on the Ground Identify one area in your life where you are soft and Fix it. Do this so you are a good man and not a nice man. www.meninthearena.org Men in the Arena Books and Swag Support the Podcast The online Men in the Arena forum

How To Find Your Authentic Voice with Vicky S. Joseph - 019| Yes To You Podcast Are you tired of being just the 'nice' girl?! Learn how to uplevel your life with some fresh tips and strategies from communication expert, Vicky S. Joseph!⁣ You'll learn strategies to break free of chronic shyness and people-pleasing behaviors find your authentic voice. Even better, you'll get actionable tips to help you start speaking up and be more assertive from communication and acting coach, Vicky S. Joseph! As the Founder of The Art of Expression, Vicky helps women who are way too nice, communicate with confidence, set healthy boundaries, stand up for themselves and find their authentic voice. She holds a Master’s in Public Relations and Corporate Communications. And provides training to both individuals and organizations how to communicate effectively--whether that’s in the context of personal relationships, on stage, or in the corporate office. In this episode, you’ll learn success strategies that have worked to help Vicky find her voice and then use it to empower others, including: ►Vicky's story of discovering passion and purpose through her life experiences ►2 Powerful secrets to help you express yourself with confidence ►Tips to build your own tribe of friends, supporters, and mentors ►Vicky's favorite resources for personal growth   Subscribe on iTunes | Subscribe on Spotify | Subscribe on iHeartRadio | Subscribe on Google Play | Subscribe on Google Podcasts | Subscribe on Stitcher Radio   Episode Outline ►   [1:01] Overview what you can expect to learn during this episode ►   [2:18] Meet our guest: Vicky S. Joseph ►   [3:57] Vicky describes her work as an acting/communication coach? ►   [4:53] How Vicky discovered her purpose ►   [5:57] How our story and life experiences shape our purpose ►   [6:18] Why nice girls are a target for people with aggressive personalities (aka bullies) ►   [7:36] Vicky’s advice to ALL girls, today ►   [8:35] How Vicky overcame fear and found her voice through acting ►   [10:44] The value in artistic expression for self-discovery and self-expression ►   [12:00] How Vicky got her first clients as a consultant ►   [13:18] Finding joy in how entrepreneurship transforms us ►   [15:00] 2 Secrets to start using your voice, now! ►   [16:48] Why so many women struggle with people-pleasing and indecisiveness ►   [17:53] Where we lose our voice ►   [18:54] Practical ways to reframe self-care for productivity, success, and fulfillment ►   [20:50] It takes a village (friends, fans, supporters, clients, mentors, etc.) ►   [22:00] Vicky’s recommended resources for personal growth and networking ►   [24:47] Vicky’s BIGGEST challenge as a new entrepreneur and how she overcame it ►   [25:25] Being okay with rejection and the connection between mindset and business ►   [25:59] The most important question you must answer to make more money ►   [27:46] The necessity of friendship for women in business ►   [28:32] Vicky’s advice on maintaining in balance through sisterhood ►   [31:37] Vicky’s advice to both new and existing women entrepreneurs ►   [33:37] How to connect with Vicky; and acknowledgments   Resources Mentioned In This Episode CONNECT WITH VICKY Visit Vicky’’s Website Email info@vickysjoseph.com Instagram: @vickyallday Twitter: @vickyallday RECOMMENDED BOOKS Boundaries by Henry Cloud No More Christian Nice Girl by Paul Coughlin   OTHER RESOURCES Eventibrite.com (local networking and business events) Dominique’s Create Your Vision Workbook (Free PDF Download) Listen to episode 3: Overcome Your Fear of Being Seen and Heard Listen to Weekly Wellness Tip 16: How To Stop Caring What People Think   Have questions or an idea for a new episode? Email feedback@yestoyoupodcast.com

Paul Coughlin, President and Founder of the Protectors, founded in 2005, was born from personal experience and a unique understanding into a fundamental weakness to existing anti-bullying programs. As a Target of bullying while in elementary school, Paul knows just how damaging such a campaign of cruelty can be to a person's emotional and psychological wellbeing—damage that can harm a person well into adulthood. Some never recover. Practical Steps for Parents of Bullying Victims What are some of the most common mistakes parents make when a child approaches their parent about being bullied? First, a parent may tell their child to “just ignore it.” This is a fallacy and dangerous advice. A bully is looking to overpower and overwhelm, so they will choose the child that they believe won't push back. When a child doesn't push back, it is seen as a sign of weakness and an invitation to more aggressive action against them. In contrast, we need to teach our children how to use and wield the power of their words. They will be empowered when they do that and stand up to the bully. One of the biggest things bullies look for is non-assertive body language. Bullies are profilers. It's really a very criminal mindset in a young body. They seek out the kid who looks uncomfortable, is nervous looking and doesn't walk with confidence. Oftentimes it can be the new kid who doesn't have a support group or structure yet. We need to train our kids how to appear more confident and assertive. Train them to “fake it until they become it.” You've heard the phrase “nobody likes a bully” but that doesn't always appear to be true; especially in grades leading up to junior high. Early on, particularly in middle school, children and pre-teens tend to mistake power and strength. So while a bully has “power” he is not necessarily strong. As we get older we begin to see through it, but that takes time. But what about the bullies? How do you turn bullies around? Serial bullies are highly resistant to change. Once they get the taste of bullying and the pleasure of it, it can be so intoxicating that it's difficult to break that behavior. Many have an extreme sense of entitlement. Your average bully is narcissistic and arrogant. So what do you do with an arrogant person? They need to be humbled, not to be humiliated. They need to see themselves as equal to other people. We highly recommend martial arts to victims, not so that they can beat someone up, but so that they can learn and gain confidence. They can learn the ability to move and speak with an air of confidence, they are just not as attractive to bullies. One of the things we try to do with kids who bully is explaining to them their charisma and ability to lead other people. We try to appeal to their sense of “healthy pride” and teaching them to use their powers for good. Martial arts for a bully can teach them to use strength to defend others than to attack. And it teaches restraint. How can a parent detect when their child is being bullied. Look for behavior that is out of the ordinary or that you haven't seen before. Look for signs of physical aggression or being aggressive in their speech. Sleep patterns can also change, which is also a sign of depression. A lack of interest in school or specific topics in school can also happen, particularly for kids who do well or used to be excited about school activities. Mysterious illnesses can also happen. We need to be cautious of these illnesses, as children aren't always lying about being sick. There are kids who can become physically sick due to nervousness or stress. Should parents intervene? 70% of victims don't actually tell anyone. Part of the reason for that is that victims are afraid their parents will make it worse. Before school begins, say “you know what- I know that bullying is a pattern of behavior. It's a use of power to intentionally harm someone without reason. In order for me to best help you,

Paul Coughlin, President and Founder of the Protectors, founded in 2005, was born from personal experience and a unique understanding into a fundamental weakness to existing anti-bullying programs. As a Target of bullying while in elementary school, Paul knows just how damaging such a campaign of cruelty can be to a person's emotional and psychological wellbeing—damage that can harm a person well into adulthood. Some never recover. Practical Steps for Parents of Bullying Victims What are some of the most common mistakes parents make when a child approaches their parent about being bullied? First, a parent may tell their child to “just ignore it.” This is a fallacy and dangerous advice. A bully is looking to overpower and overwhelm, so they will choose the child that they believe won't push back. When a child doesn't push back, it is seen as a sign of weakness and an invitation to more aggressive action against them. In contrast, we need to teach our children how to use and wield the power of their words. They will be empowered when they do that and stand up to the bully. One of the biggest things bullies look for is non-assertive body language. Bullies are profilers. It's really a very criminal mindset in a young body. They seek out the kid who looks uncomfortable, is nervous looking and doesn't walk with confidence. Oftentimes it can be the new kid who doesn't have a support group or structure yet. We need to train our kids how to appear more confident and assertive. Train them to “fake it until they become it.” You've heard the phrase “nobody likes a bully” but that doesn't always appear to be true; especially in grades leading up to junior high. Early on, particularly in middle school, children and pre-teens tend to mistake power and strength. So while a bully has “power” he is not necessarily strong. As we get older we begin to see through it, but that takes time. But what about the bullies? How do you turn bullies around? Serial bullies are highly resistant to change. Once they get the taste of bullying and the pleasure of it, it can be so intoxicating that it's difficult to break that behavior. Many have an extreme sense of entitlement. Your average bully is narcissistic and arrogant. So what do you do with an arrogant person? They need to be humbled, not to be humiliated. They need to see themselves as equal to other people. We highly recommend martial arts to victims, not so that they can beat someone up, but so that they can learn and gain confidence. They can learn the ability to move and speak with an air of confidence, they are just not as attractive to bullies. One of the things we try to do with kids who bully is explaining to them their charisma and ability to lead other people. We try to appeal to their sense of “healthy pride” and teaching them to use their powers for good. Martial arts for a bully can teach them to use strength to defend others than to attack. And it teaches restraint. How can a parent detect when their child is being bullied. Look for behavior that is out of the ordinary or that you haven't seen before. Look for signs of physical aggression or being aggressive in their speech. Sleep patterns can also change, which is also a sign of depression. A lack of interest in school or specific topics in school can also happen, particularly for kids who do well or used to be excited about school activities. Mysterious illnesses can also happen. We need to be cautious of these illnesses, as children aren't always lying about being sick. There are kids who can become physically sick due to nervousness or stress. Should parents intervene? 70% of victims don't actually tell anyone. Part of the reason for that is that victims are afraid their parents will make it worse. Before school begins, say “you know what- I know that bullying is a pattern of behavior. It's a use of power to intentionally harm someone without reason. In order for me to best help you,

Click  below to listen to the interview. https://archive.org/download/S02E07PaulCoughlin/S02E07%20Paul%20Coughlin.mp3 In this episode, we’re discussing the thorny problem of bullying, a serious injustice that drives both the teen suicide and school shooting epidemics. We’re talking with Paul Coughlin, founder and president of The Protectors, a faith-based organization that provides comprehensive solutions to help families and communities combat the […]

Well, I was the oldest; so, I'll leave it at that. But, I've certainly been the victim of bullying as a kid. I think we all have, in one way or another. I can remember the trauma of being a 4th-grader in a school that was only 4 doors down from my house. A 6th grader and his two high-school brothers, who happened to be my next door neighbors, and another 6th grader made it their daily ambition that year to use me as a human punching bag. So, it was a traumatic event every day at 3 O'clock, just to find a way to make it those 4 doors down from the school-yard to the refuge of my house which, had its own liabilities. Sometimes I made it; sometimes, I didn't. But, I think bullies know that even if they win a real fight, they're still likely to come away with some wounds, especially if the person they're fighting has a just cause. And, to most bullies, I think it just isn't worth it. Anyway, you asked about my experience. Now, let's talk to the expert. Paul Coughlin is an expert witness regarding bullying and the law and is a Fox News analyst and contributor. He is a popular speaker who has appeared on Good Morning America, Nightline, C-Span, The LA Times, The New York Times, Newsweek and other media outlets. Paul is a best-selling author of eight books, including Free Us From Bullying, as well as a former newspaper editor. He works with numerous professional organizations to diminish bullying, including the Baltimore Ravens. His anti-bullying curriculum is used throughout North America as well as in South Africa, Uganda, Australia, New Zealand and Brazil among other countries. Paul is a boys' varsity soccer coach, where he was voted Coach of the Year twice. Paul has also previously served as a member of the Board of Trustees for St. Mary's School in Medford, Oregon. Paul is a popular men's conference speaker who has inspired thousands across North America as well as in Wales and England. Teaching Self-Defense on the Playground So why is bullying just now being brought to center stage? Paul suggests that the misconceptions around bullying have a lot to do with it. We have had a tendency to see bullying as a part of poor communication, misunderstanding, individuals unable to control anger, a right of passage. Perhaps the other thing that has brought us to the forefront of this issue is a perfect storm of diminished parenting, increasingly fragile children, and a new found ability to literally destroy a child through cyberbullying. His book may in fact not be such a needed resource today if it wasn't for the internet. How should parents train their kids to deal with internet bullies? A bully, regardless of a digital or physical one, wants to see their victim experience pain and anguish. This makes them feel alive and in control. It's enjoyable to be a bully. As a response, a child can work to convince the bully that it doesn't bother them and that the bully is failing. A great comeback really is the word “whatever.” It's dismissive but it also defends your dignity and worth. This is a much more effective tactic than to erroneously ignore the bully and not say anything. If we don't respond, it is taken as a sign of weakness. Weakness invites aggression. Train your child how to show strength in the presence of a bully. Don't feed the machine! We also need to point out that bullying is very different today than when many of today's parents were kids. For example, we see “mob bullying” where one kid is up against 3-5 kids. That poor kid is more outnumbered today statistically than in the past and he/she needs help. Some parenting tactics today have actually increased the impact of bullying. For example, one tactic would be to not say anything that would harm the bully's self-esteem. In the process, we have created little monsters that grow up to be big monsters. The idea that a bully has low self-esteem is a fallacy. Bullies think they are wonderful. They are filled with a high sense of self-love.

Well, I was the oldest; so, I'll leave it at that. But, I've certainly been the victim of bullying as a kid. I think we all have, in one way or another. I can remember the trauma of being a 4th-grader in a school that was only 4 doors down from my house. A 6th grader and his two high-school brothers, who happened to be my next door neighbors, and another 6th grader made it their daily ambition that year to use me as a human punching bag. So, it was a traumatic event every day at 3 O'clock, just to find a way to make it those 4 doors down from the school-yard to the refuge of my house which, had its own liabilities. Sometimes I made it; sometimes, I didn't. But, I think bullies know that even if they win a real fight, they're still likely to come away with some wounds, especially if the person they're fighting has a just cause. And, to most bullies, I think it just isn't worth it. Anyway, you asked about my experience. Now, let's talk to the expert. Paul Coughlin is an expert witness regarding bullying and the law and is a Fox News analyst and contributor. He is a popular speaker who has appeared on Good Morning America, Nightline, C-Span, The LA Times, The New York Times, Newsweek and other media outlets. Paul is a best-selling author of eight books, including Free Us From Bullying, as well as a former newspaper editor. He works with numerous professional organizations to diminish bullying, including the Baltimore Ravens. His anti-bullying curriculum is used throughout North America as well as in South Africa, Uganda, Australia, New Zealand and Brazil among other countries. Paul is a boys' varsity soccer coach, where he was voted Coach of the Year twice. Paul has also previously served as a member of the Board of Trustees for St. Mary's School in Medford, Oregon. Paul is a popular men's conference speaker who has inspired thousands across North America as well as in Wales and England. Teaching Self-Defense on the Playground So why is bullying just now being brought to center stage? Paul suggests that the misconceptions around bullying have a lot to do with it. We have had a tendency to see bullying as a part of poor communication, misunderstanding, individuals unable to control anger, a right of passage. Perhaps the other thing that has brought us to the forefront of this issue is a perfect storm of diminished parenting, increasingly fragile children, and a new found ability to literally destroy a child through cyberbullying. His book may in fact not be such a needed resource today if it wasn't for the internet. How should parents train their kids to deal with internet bullies? A bully, regardless of a digital or physical one, wants to see their victim experience pain and anguish. This makes them feel alive and in control. It's enjoyable to be a bully. As a response, a child can work to convince the bully that it doesn't bother them and that the bully is failing. A great comeback really is the word “whatever.” It's dismissive but it also defends your dignity and worth. This is a much more effective tactic than to erroneously ignore the bully and not say anything. If we don't respond, it is taken as a sign of weakness. Weakness invites aggression. Train your child how to show strength in the presence of a bully. Don't feed the machine! We also need to point out that bullying is very different today than when many of today's parents were kids. For example, we see “mob bullying” where one kid is up against 3-5 kids. That poor kid is more outnumbered today statistically than in the past and he/she needs help. Some parenting tactics today have actually increased the impact of bullying. For example, one tactic would be to not say anything that would harm the bully's self-esteem. In the process, we have created little monsters that grow up to be big monsters. The idea that a bully has low self-esteem is a fallacy. Bullies think they are wonderful. They are filled with a high sense of self-love.

This week, Brian and Eric sit down to give their thoughts on Eric's interview with their friend Spencer Flippin. They discuss the universal meaning of suffering, give some evangelical discussion strategies, and, most importantly, push back against the idea that the purpose of religion is to be a good person. They connect that very issue, as well, in their response to Spencer's question on how we as Catholics can bear to call people to become Catholic when it is so clear that our church is full of sinners. It's a loaded week, to say the least! Enjoy!Recommended Reads: No More Christian Nice Guy, Paul Coughlin; Real Choices: Listening to Women; Looking for Alternatives to Abortion, Fredericka Mathewes-Green; Architects of the Culture of Death, Donald DeMarco; Seeds of the Word, Bishop Robert Barron; Fides et Ratio, Saint Pope John Paul II; God or Nothing, Robert Cardinal Sarah.

“Teaching our kids about their sexuality needs to be more than just one ‘Birds and the Bees’ talk, but instead an ongoing conversation that last their whole lives.” Today, Lee sits down for a frank conversation with Dr. Jennifer Degler about sexuality (ours and theirs).  Grab your earbuds and buckle up for an important, equipping conversation for praying moms to help their families navigate sexuality in a holy and God honoring way.  About our Guest: Jennifer Degler, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist, life coach, author, speaker, wife, and mom who is passionate about helping people create healthy, successful relationships. She counsels adults and couples at the Interfaith Counseling Centerin Lexington, KY and is the author of No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice—Instead of Good—Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends(Bethany House, 2010, co-authored with Paul Coughlin), and theDeck of Dares: 40 Dares to Make Your Marriage Sizzle. As a lifelong Kentuckian and UK graduate, she bleeds blue for the Big Blue Nation. You won’t find her in a coffee shop (she thinks coffee tastes like dirt), but you are likely to find her kayaking and hiking with her high school sweetheart husband, Jeff, as they enjoy their newly empty nest. Her fabulous and funny adult children, Josie and Jake, delight in telling their friends that their mom runs a sex shop when, in reality, she founded CWIVES, a ministry to help Christian wives make their sex lives sizzle. In 2015, Jennifer brought all of her work under one umbrella organization named “Healthy Relationships Rx” which provides powerful prescriptions for successful relationships. The HRx Websiteoffers helpful blogs, podcasts, and resources to doctor up relationships in six areas: Marriage, Sex, Parenting, Family & Friendships, Spiritual Growth, and Personal Growth. For more information about Dr. Jennifer Degler’s ministry:              http://www.healthyrelationshipsrx.com/              CWIVES:  www.cwives.com             Dr. Jennifer’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9teE5Fqj9K7QGy5NHj5h-A             Moms in Prayer International- www.MomsInPrayer.org

Did you know that turning the other cheek isn't always the best solution when dealing with a problem--especially for a child? Dr. Carol is joined by Paul Coughlin, of the Protectors to discuss why bullying is the precursor to aggressive behavior and racism as well as the leading form of child abuse in America. Resources mentioned in this episode:  The Protectors: Freedom from Bullying through Courage, Character, and Leadership Paul Coughlin's book Free Us from Bullying: Real Solutions Beyond Being Nice Join The Protectors on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. 

There are three types of people in this life. Sheep, Wolves, and Sheep Dogs. Raising a child who isn't a bully isn't enough. Raising a child who is bully-proof isn't enough. Raising a child who is a protector of the weak is the goal.   Protectors, founded in 2005, was born from personal experience and a unique understanding into a fundamental weakness to existing anti-bullying programs. As a Target of bullying while in elementary school, Founder and President Paul Coughlin knows just how damaging such a campaign of cruelty can be to a person's emotional and psychological wellbeing—damage that can harm a person well into adulthood. Some never recover. Unlike traditional anti-bullying efforts that focus primarily upon reforming children who bully and which are historically ineffective, The Protectors focuses primarily upon the potential strength, heroic desire, and rescuing capacity of Bystanders, transforming them into what we call “Alongside Standers.” We also provide assertiveness training for Targets, help Authority dispel the many damaging myths about bullying, and inspire children who bully to employ their power in life-affirming directions instead. Studies show that Bystanders possess the most potential power to transform what we call the “Theater of Bullying” into a theater of character, freedom and justice. One study revealed that if only one Bystander, who doesn't even need to be popular, uses his or her assertive but non-violent words in defense of a Target, that the incident of bullying can end 58% of the time within 6 to 8 seconds. By intervening on behalf of Targets, Bystanders will not only create safer and happier schools, but also create greater character within themselves and others. https://theprotectors.org www.mancardpodcast.com 

Paul Coughlin says bullying is one of the most common forms of abuse our children are experiencing today. Then, Justin Holcomb explains how we can respond in a Christ-like manner to domestic abuse and sexual assault.

There are three types of people in this life. Sheep, Wolves, and Sheep Dogs. Raising a child who isn't a bully isn't enough. Raising a child who is bully-proof isn't enough. Raising a child who is a protector of the weak is the goal.   Protectors, founded in 2005, was born from personal experience and a unique understanding into a fundamental weakness to existing anti-bullying programs. As a Target of bullying while in elementary school, Founder and President Paul Coughlin knows just how damaging such a campaign of cruelty can be to a person's emotional and psychological wellbeing—damage that can harm a person well into adulthood. Some never recover. Unlike traditional anti-bullying efforts that focus primarily upon reforming children who bully and which are historically ineffective, The Protectors focuses primarily upon the potential strength, heroic desire, and rescuing capacity of Bystanders, transforming them into what we call “Alongside Standers.” We also provide assertiveness training for Targets, help Authority dispel the many damaging myths about bullying, and inspire children who bully to employ their power in life-affirming directions instead. Studies show that Bystanders possess the most potential power to transform what we call the “Theater of Bullying” into a theater of character, freedom and justice. One study revealed that if only one Bystander, who doesn't even need to be popular, uses his or her assertive but non-violent words in defense of a Target, that the incident of bullying can end 58% of the time within 6 to 8 seconds. By intervening on behalf of Targets, Bystanders will not only create safer and happier schools, but also create greater character within themselves and others. https://theprotectors.org www.mancardpodcast.com 

In this episode listen to bullying expert Paul Coughlin as he gives parents advice navigating the school-age years.

Steve, Kaitlyn and Evan talk to Taconic Distillery owner Paul Coughlin (taconicdistillery.com). Be sure to listen to the very end because we have a new cocktail segment after the show featuring our very own ABV Network Staff Mixologist Sailor Retro mixing up a Rye Negroni. The Bourbon Show music (Whiskey on the Mississippi) is by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).  

Award-winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn continues her series on bullying, interviewing Paul Coughlin, a sports dad, youth coach and anti-bullying expert who tells how his son quit sports after being bullied--and what he did about it. Visit www.youthsportspsychology.com to learn about our anti-bullying program and to listen to the entire interview.

Award-winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn continues her series on bullying, interviewing Paul Coughlin, a sports dad, youth coach and anti-bullying expert who tells how his son quit sports after being bullied--and what he did about it. Visit www.youthsportspsychology.com to learn about our anti-bullying program and to listen to the entire interview.

Award-winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn continues her series on bullying, interviewing Paul Coughlin, a sports dad, youth coach and anti-bullying expert who tells how his son quit sports after being bullied--and what he did about it. Visit www.youthsportspsychology.com to learn about our anti-bullying program and to listen to the entire interview.