Podcast appearances and mentions of matthew fray

Today we have a special treat! An interview with Matthew Fray, who wrote the viral post that every woman my age remembers.... "She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By The Sink"! We discuss relationships, divorce, ADHD, male and female perspectives on relationships, and more!Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and author of the book This is How Your Marriage Ends. His down-to-earth approach to human relationships and personal reflections on his own marriage and divorce have been featured in The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal, The Sunday Times (London), on The Tamron Hall Show, On Air with Ryan Seacrest, BBC Radio, and dozens of relationship podcasts. He's a father to a teenage son, a long-suffering Cleveland sports fan, a bourbon whiskey collector and enthusiast, and he lives near Cleveland, Ohio.Substack newsletter: https://matthewfray.substack.com/Website: matthewfray.comInstagram: @frayrelationships

Motherkind Moment is your place for calm and connection and a shift in perspective before the week ahead.  This week we are joined by relationship coach and author Matthew Fray, to uncover the true meaning of the word 'intimacy'. He explores why true intimacy means you can be vulnerable around your partner, and how we should recognise the importance of emotional safety. For more powerful insights from Matt Fray listen to the full episode here: How good people mess up their marriages Click Here to order your copy of 'Motherkind: A New way to thrive in a world of endless expectations' This show is proudly sponsored by Stokke Bioglan is available now instore and online at Holland and Barrett For a £100 sponsored job credit visit Indeed.com/ Motherkind To find out more text ‘Kumon' to 60777 for the UK or 51777 for Ireland to book your Free Trial today! Continue the Conversation: Join our community over on Instagram for inspiration, tips, and sometimes a bit of humour to get us through our day - @zoeblaskey Join our mailing list to receive news, updates and new episode releases Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is it the little things that are fatal to a partnership? Matthew Fray, viral blogging sensation and author of "This Is How Your Marriage Ends," stops by to talk about causing pain in a partnership, taking responsibility for behavior, breaking potentially harmful patterns, what men need to do better, why women need to communicate clearer, bouncing back from misery, how to stop causing conflict, why it takes a while to mature, and much, much more! Plus, why monsters tend to hide under the bed!

Is it the little things that are fatal to a partnership? Matthew Fray, viral blogging sensation and author of "This Is How Your Marriage Ends," stops by to talk about causing pain in a partnership, taking responsibility for behavior, breaking potentially harmful patterns, what men need to do better, why women need to communicate clearer, bouncing back from misery, how to stop causing conflict, why it takes a while to mature, and much, much more! Plus, why monsters tend to hide under the bed!

Matthew Fray is the author of the viral article “My Wife Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes By the Sink”. His divorce left him emotionally crushed: struggling not to cry all the time, and finding it hard even to breathe.  In this reissued classic episode, Andrew and Matthew talk about the lessons of Matthew's failed marriage, and about how Matthew is using his own experiences in his coaching work with men experiencing relationship difficulties. According to Matthew, “the things that destroy our relationships work like cancer…by the time we detect the problem, it's already too late”. His work is based around helping men to see the problems earlier, and to build the emotional toolkit so many of them are missing. Matthew Fray works as a relationship coach and writer. He blogs at On the Rocks, and his latest book is This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships.  Subscriber Content This Week  If you're a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you'll be hearing:  Three Things Matthew Fray knows to be true. AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees. Follow Up Get Andrew's free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things  Take a look at Andrew's new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools Read Matthew Fray's book This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships Read Matthew's writing on relationships at his blog, On the Rocks. Follow Matthew on Twitter @MBTTTR and on Facebook @matthewfrayMBTTTR  Read Andrew's book Can We Start Again Please? Twenty Questions to Fall Back in Love Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.  Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall 

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into the division of household labor—why it's often unbalanced, and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here. Matthew Fray is a relationship coach who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage to help others avoid making the same mistakes that he did. He's a 43-year-old single father who is best known for his viral blog post "She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink." Fray is the author of the new book "This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships." Matthew gives us wonderful, poignant insights into how to validate our partners, find out their true needs, and re-establish trust when we've lost it. In this episode, Matthew, Margaret, and Amy discuss: Why we may not realize we're betraying our partner's trust Matthew's hierarchy of needs in relationships Why couples always have the same fight Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Maslow's hierarchy of needs Matthew's recent article in The Atlantic Our episode with Eve Rodsky on changing the invisible workload Here's where you can find Matthew: matthewfray.com Buy Matthew's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780063072251 FB: @matthewfrayMBTTTR IG: @frayrelationships Twitter: @MBTTTR We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid's behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, marriage, partnerships, divorce Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In his article “Science can explain a broken heart. Could science help heal mine?,” Los Angeles Times columnist Todd Martens shares his story of heartbreak and explores the science behind physical and emotional suffering. Matthew Fray, relationship coach and author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends;  A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships, reflects on his divorce and flags some seemingly benign behaviors that over time can undermine love and trust in a relationship.

Hey fellow listeners, since moving to a new distributing platform, some earlier episodes are no longer avilable in Apple Podcast and Spotify. In the next few weeks, we will be retunring to the highlights and offer the new listeners a chance to listen to our 'baby episodes' when we first began our journey with Asian Bitches Down Under.  June 2020: This week, we chat about the viral Op Ed from Matthew Fray who counsels men in ways to save their marriages. Is it good for a white man to step up and raises these issues that have been historically dominated by women? What should the role of a husband be in 2020? Why are gender roles in heterosexual marriages still so segregated?  We share our thoughts on Australia's response to the protests in the US, and the performance of virtue and a desire for social justice. Attention and care is not a performance. Why has performing virtue become the norm?  Discussed this week: The Good Men Project  Articles Deaths Inside: Every Indigenous Death in Custody since 2019 (The Guardian, April 2019)  The Man Who Coaches Husbands on How to Avoid Divorce (NYTtimes, 2020) She divorced me because I left dishes by the sink (HuffPost, 2016) Michelle Obama & Roxane Gay's Responses (Women's Agenda, 2020) 8 minutes and 46 seconds: How George Floyd was killed in Police Custody (NYTimes, 2020) Books Becoming (Michelle Obama, 2018)  Seven Fallen Feathers (Tanya Talaga, 2017)  Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn and Consent (Peggy Orenstein, 2020) Songs Across the Universe, Fiona Apple (dir. Paul Thomas Anderson, 1998) Films/Series This is where I Leave You (dir. Shawn Levy, 2014) Jeffery Epstein: Filthy Rich (Netflix, 2020)  Asian Bitches Down Under featured as one of the Top 20 Intersectional Feminist Podcast by FeedSpot, checkout other amazing podcast programs HERE Facebook | Asian Bitches Down Under Instagram | Asian Bitches Down Under  Buy Me A Coffee | Asian Bitches Down Under

Matthew Fray, author of 'This is How Your Marriage Ends,' has been featured in The New York Times, the Wall Street Journal and The Atlantic.More about Matthew and his work: https://matthewfray.com/

In this episode we get to interview the talented author Matthew Fray. We talk about mini breaks of trust, mental load, divorce, validation, consideration, etc and how it all plays a role in whether our Relationships succeed or not. Pick up his book at https://matthewfray.com/

If your marriage isn't all you want it to be, who is responsible? The truth? You both are. Every decision you each have made has brought you to this situation. And if you both keep doing the same things, you will stay in the same place. So how do you move forward? Relationship Coach and author Matthew Fray reveals […] The post Marriage is 100/100 appeared first on WebTalkRadio.net.

Today I'm joined by relationship coach and author, Matthew Fray.  Matthew wasn't always a writer. It all started with a blog post. Matthew wrote one post online about how his wife left him because he left dishes by the sink.   But it wasn't really about the dishes. Join us today to hear how Matthew leans on the lessons of his own divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes that he did.    Here are the highlights: (3:11) Matt's blog (5:13) Dishes by the sink (11:20) A hard pill to swallow (19:56) Relativism and pain (25:00) Ended relationships (32:56) Awareness and compassion   You can find Matthew's website and book HERE.   Michaela's book, The Lasting Connection, can be found here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/thelastingconnection   Michaela's online course for couples: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/thecompassionatecouple    Watch the replay of the FREE masterclass for ambitious female entrepreneurs, founders, and CEOs wanting to create more impact in the world, with less impact on themselves! How to Burn Bright, Without Burning Out (thethomasconnection.lpages.co)

Matthew Fray, author of "This is How Your Marriage Ends," joins Lauren and Emily on the podcast to discuss his journey in becoming a New York Times Best-Selling author, and helpful advice for strengthening marriages and relationships.

This Moment is with Matthew Fray. After Matt's wife came to him and asked for a divorce, he began a journey of self-reflection to understand what went wrong. He wrote a now-viral article called My wife divorced me, because I left dishes by the sink, and then a best-selling book called This is how your marriage ends. What he learned is incredible. And I think pretty life-changing stuff. He saw that what happens in most relationships, particularly in relationships of good people who really do love each other, is that we engage in a series of small habits and dynamics that over time, erode safety and trust. I hope you find this Moment supportive, and if you want to catch the full episode, click here. COME VISIT MOTHERKIND ON INSTAGRAM INSTAGRAM: @zoeblaskey - come engage with Zoe and our community over on Instagram for inspiration, tips, and sometimes a bit of humour to get us through our day.

Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and author who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His book "This is How Your Marriage Ends" (HarperOne) went on sale in March 2022 in both North America and the United Kingdom. Fray has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, The Sunday Times (London), on ABC's Tamron Hall Show, and several other places. You can learn more about him and his work at matthewfray.com.In this episode we discuss: -Three ways we invalidate our partner in relationships.-What happens when we don't express our needs and vulnerability to our partner-The importance of trust in a relationship and how "Paper cuts" can create distrust over time- Intentions do not equal experience - How men and women want the same things and why this is a good thing -Why good people can ruin relationships - Why leaving a cup by the kitchen sink resulted in Matt's failed marriage and what it could mean for yours tooConnect with Matt here: https://matthewfray.comDonate to the podcast here: https://www.thebrightsideoflifepodcast.com/support/https://www.thebrightsideoflifepodcast.com/Support the show

Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes. His work has been featured in The New York Times, The Times and The Sunday Times of London, The Daily Mail, Salon, Huffington Post, as well as with television programs The Tamron Hall Show in the United States and ITV's This Morning in the United Kingdom. He is the author of "This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships." And his blog, Must Be This Tall To Ride has a dedicated following which has reached millions of readers.For more information, please visit:https://matthewfray.com/To stay connected with Better Place Project and for updates and behind the scenes info, please follow us on social media:Website:https://www.betterplaceproject.org/ Instagram: @BetterPlaceProj To follow Steve on Instagram@SteveNorrisOfficialFacebook: Facebook.com/BetterPlaceProjectPodcastTwitter: @BetterPlaceProjEmail: BetterPlaceProjectPodcast@gmail.com

Cale discusses writer Matthew Fray's broken marriage, which all started with a dirty drinking glass. Callers flood the switchboard with their takes and share their personal joys and struggles   https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/04/marriage-problems-fight-dishes/629526/

This week's re-release is with the brilliant author Mattew Fray. It is all about relationships and was one of our most downloaded episodes of 2022. Matt is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and subsequent divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes. He has written for publications including the Sunday Times, Daily Mail and Sun and been featured in The New York Times and on BBC radio. His blog Must Be This Tall to Ride has a dedicated following, reaching millions of followers. Special thanks to Sanofi's Together Against RSV campaign for sponsoring this episode. You can go to www.togetheragainstRSV.com where you'll find loads of helpful advice about infant RSV. @zoeblaskey - come engage with Zoe and our community over on Instagram for inspiration, tips, and sometimes a bit of humour to get us through our day.

Matthew Fray considered himself a good guy. He didn't lie. He didn't cheat. He wasn't violent. But his wife didn't trust him, and the marriage ended in 2013. What subtle cues did Matthew miss? What led his ex to believe she couldn't count on him? Today, Matthew is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His work has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and The Atlantic, among many other media outlets. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Matthew joins Katherine to discuss his book, This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships. Matthew shares the mistakes he made in his own marriage, explaining why conversations broke down any time he disagreed with his ex's thoughts or feelings. Listen in for insight on what it means to be trustworthy in a relationship and learn how to honor your partner's experience when they ask for help or tell you something's wrong. Topics Covered How journaling to understand his divorce led Matthew to write This Is How Your Marriage Ends Why conversations broke down any time Matthew's disagreed with his ex-wife's thoughts or feelings Why it's crucial to allow your partner the dignity to have their own perspective How Matthew's definition of ‘trustworthy' includes being there when your partner needs you Why relationships are not sustainable in the absence of trust How honoring his ex-wife's experience makes Matthew a more effective coparent How Matthew made himself the victim every time his ex asked for help or said something was wrong How failing to consider how your partner experiences you demonstrates a lack of respect Connect with Matthew Fray Matthew's Website: https://matthewfray.com/ Matthew on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mbtttr Matthew on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/matthewfrayMBTTTR/ Matthew on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/frayrelationships/ Connect with Katherine Miller The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/ Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/ Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1 The New Yorker's Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246 Email: katherine@miller-law.com Call (914) 738-7765 Resources This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships by Matthew Fray: https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Marriage-Ends-Relationships-ebook/dp/B097RPC1SD ‘The Man Who Coaches Husbands on How to Avoid Divorce' in The New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/18/parenting/marriage-invisible-labor-coach.html ‘She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink' on Matthew's Blog: https://matthewfray.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/

This is a MUST-LISTEN Episode! My guest is Matthew Fray, the man who coaches husbands on how not to end up divorced. His book "This is How Your Marriage Ends" was not only eye-opening for me, but has been a game changer for many of my clients. In this episode, we discuss why the marriage lesson that most learn too late is that the existence of love, trust, respect, and safety in a relationship is often dependent on moments we might write off as petty disagreement Show Notes 00:05 Intro: "This is How Your Marriage Ends" 01:47 Why a dish by the sink can lead to divorce 03:31 Why sometimes good men can be terrible husbands 11:00 Without trust, there is no relationship. Trust erosion can lead to the phenomenon of "duty sex" 17:04 For a relationship to be successful, people need to be aware of their actual motivations and priorities 22:07 Should we sweat the small stuff or not? 24:56 Both parties should be aware of the subconscious drivers of their behavior and relationship issues, and why broken marriages lead to broken children 31:26 For a relationship to work, BOTH parties need to work on themselves, and Matthew's book is a great practical resource Matthew's links: Website Book IG

Today we talk to the AMAZING Matthew Fray about his relationship-changing book "This is How Your Marriage Ends." LINKS: https://anatomyofus.com/ https://www.patreon.com/m/anatomyofus Get the new Back to Basics Bootcamp Course: https://anatomyofus.com/backtobasics Interested in Women's Group Coaching? Apply Now: https://anatomyofus.com/womens-group-coaching Join Seth's Badass Husband Mastermind: badasshusband.com Download the Clearing Structure in the Resources section at https://www.anatomyofus.com/ High-Performance Coaching: https://anatomyofus.com/coaching To find a virtual counselor visit http://betterhelp.com/us Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What caused Jay to take all of this more seriously (even if he felt attacked)? And what would cause Matt to say, “This is stupid!” We cover both of those here, in this LAST EPISODE OF THE SEASON. TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section) 0:00 Intro 0:19 Did Jay feel like doing those things when he felt unfairly attacked? * 2:59 One Solution: Giving guidance vs “This is stupid” * 4:11 Jay took it more seriously because he knew this… 4:52 One Solution: How we phrase it instead 5:38 Steps Jay and Lori took 6:35 One Solution: Shared experiences can be risky (so wives consider trying…) 8:07 For the betrayed/traumatized regarding the “Right” way to do this * 8:26 What we tell couples 10:03 Where to subscribe for next season -- https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website https://matthewfray.com - Matthew Fray's website https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery #betrayal #trauma #relationships #rebuildtrust #marriageadvice

To mark ten years since stalking became a specific crime in England and Wales, we speak to crime reporter and presenter Isla Traquair. In her day job Isla is used to confronting murderers and travelling to dangerous places but it was in a quiet village in Wiltshire where her stalking ordeal took place. In August this year Isla's neighbour, Jonathan Barrett, was found guilty of stalking. This followed what Isla calls a 7 month period of terror from March to September 2021. 99% of all boxers are men and it remains a male dominated sport in all areas. We speak to Susannah Schofield OBE who hopes to harness the growing appetite for women's sport with the recent successes of women's football and rugby by convincing the BBC to show women's boxing. New research shows the clitoris actually has over 10,000 nerve endings. 20% more than the previously suggested amount from studies on cows in the 1970s. Does this increase in number matter? We ask science journalist Rachel E Gross and Dr Brooke Vandermolen, an NHS Obstetrics and Gynaecology Registrar. Why is it that we so often struggle or fail in long term relationships? We're talking instead about unremarkable everyday behaviours that help to end a marriage. We speak to couples therapist, Joanna Harrison and relationship coach, Matthew Fray. The actor Andrea Riseborough tells us about playing Mrs Wormwood in the new Matilda the Musical film. The film is an adaptation of Tim Minchin's hit West End musical of the same name. It stars Emma Thompson as Mrs Trunchbull, Lashana Lynch as Miss Honey and Stephen Graham as Mr Wormwood. She talks about playing one of Roald Dahl's most famous characters and her life off camera, meeting Patti Smith for the first time. Presenter: Anita Rani Producer: Surya Elango Editor: Emma Pearce

Transitioning from dating to marriage has its challenges, even without addictions. But healing a relationship after betrayal is even more challenging. Here are some things you can do to make the process easier–without resenting your spouse–especially if you're trying to rebuild trust. TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section) 0:00 Intro 0:11 It doesn't take much 1:06 What some guys resent 1:46 The counselor told Jay, “You can't crank her up like a machine and expect…” 2:14 What Matt thought marriage would be like (dating) * 2:50 One Solution: If he had continued dating his wife 3:40 Being intentional about continuing to date each other * 4:00 How a “perceived lack of finances” can impact relationships 4:56 Solutions to a lack of finances while rebuilding trust * 7:02 $7 cheese and other trees 9:09 In the next episode: How to rebuild trust when you feel attacked -- https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website https://matthewfray.com - Matthew Fray's website https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

Some may say that football and politics don't go together but anyone watching yesterday's matches might think otherwise. The Iranian team declined to sing their anthem & Wales fans showed their support for LGBTQ+ rights last night by wearing rainbow bucket hats. So how useful are these shows of solidarity? Laura McAllister, the ex-Wales footballer & Beth Fisher, freelance sports reporter & ambassador for the LGBTQ+ charity Stonewall discuss. Why is it that we so often struggle or fail in long term relationships? We're not talking about major marriage infractions such as infidelity, domestic abuse or gambling away the family's savings. We're talking instead about unremarkable everyday behaviours that help to end a marriage. Guests are Joanna Harrison, author of Five Arguments All Couples (Need to) Have and why the washing up matters and Matthew Fray, author of This is how your marriage ends: A hopeful approach to saving relationships. Yesterday Radio 4's Brain of Britain saw its first ever all-women final. 2022 champion Sarah Trevarthen joins Emma Barnett to discuss her victory, as well as her experiences undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer while taking part in the show. Becky Howell, the co-founder of feminist quiz zine Quizogyny, also joins us to talk about the rise of women in quizzing. Susan Seidelman is an American film director, whose ground-breaking feature film Desperately Seeking Susan is considered one of the 100 greatest films directed by a woman. Susan joins Emma to discuss why the film is still relevant today, how she witnessed Madonna's rise to success and her long career as a female director. Presenter: Emma Barnett Producer: Lucinda Montefiore Studio Manager: Tim Heffer

The success of our marriage depends on several different factors, but most importantly, we simply need to come to terms with the fact that we can't just wing the most important relationship of our life. We have to be intentional about learning skills like connection, communication, and creating a deep level of intimacy. Unfortunately, we don't learn these things growing up and our relationships truly suffer for it. Today, my guest gets raw and real on how his marriage suddenly came to an end, the clues that he saw in hindsight and what he could have done to save his marriage.  Matthew Fray is a relationship coach, blogger, and author of This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships. His marriage ended in 2013. It involved a lot of sobbing, self-loathing, and feeling sorry for myself. A drunken phone call with a phone-a-therapist prompted him to “journal his feelings,” only instead of writing in a private journal like an adult, he drank more alcohol and published it to the internet. He found new life and purpose blogging about the end of my marriage, discussing relationships with others, and self-reflecting on how his own beliefs and actions contributed to his family's demise. A bunch of people said it looked, sounded, and felt just like their marriage, and they all had a holy shit moment together, realizing collectively that their relationship conflict and trust-erosion patterns are all pretty much the same. That journey blossomed into a new career as a relationship coach, and then, an opportunity to write a book.  He's the divorced guy who got a tiny bit famous for leaving dishes by the sink. But it turns out it was never really about the dishes. Show Notes:www.thedadedge.com/397

Rebuilding trust takes more than honest answers to the questions you are asked. You have to share what is going on for you without being prompted. This is huge in rebuilding trust after betrayal. TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section) 0:00 Intro 0:12 Not lying but not sharing (this) either * 2:37 One Solution: Share thoughts & feelings for connection 3:41 One Solution: Openness vs honesty to rebuild trust * 5:36 Matt's lightbulb moment: “It meant we weren't freaks” 7:36 Blind spots may be why good men harm relationships * 8:14 One Solution: One of the best things Lori did for Jay's blind spots (***NOTE: Lori only did this after she knew Jay wouldn't use the information against her***) 10:44 In the next episode: One thing some guys resent -- https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website https://matthewfray.com - Matthew Fray's website https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

Links to things mentioned:Our Patreon: Support us for as little as $5 a month to help us branch out and continue this movement!https://patreon.com/baremarriageThe Great Sex Rescue:https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/Our series on our 4 step recovery plan when sex has become a major issue:https://baremarriage.com/2022/11/the-sex-recovery-series-4-point-plan-to-rebuild-your-sex-life/One story on what recovery looks like:https://baremarriage.com/2022/11/heres-what-recovery-from-sexual-problems-looks-like/Article by Matthew Fray on Safety for Women:https://matthewfray.com/2017/04/11/safety-and-trust-in-relationships-those-words-dont-mean-what-you-think-they-mean/Article by XO Marriage on the Four Needs of a Man:https://xomarriage.com/articles/the-four-major-needs-of-a-man/Last week's podcast featuring Jay Stringer:https://youtu.be/QWpfqtr7PK4Our podcast looking at postpartum sexual favors:https://baremarriage.com/2021/11/the-sexual-favors-postpartum-podcast-can-we-please-stop-being-selfish/Nathaniel Jolly's take on rape (major trigger warning):https://baremarriage.com/2022/08/rape-victims-deserve-life-nathaniel-jolly-preaches-death/

Connection doesn't just happen. You have to make plans and create opportunities to connect. This episode shows specific ways to do this that may work better for both partners. TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section) 0:00 Intro 0:24 Because it was majestic or because it was shared? 1:29 One Solution: Face-to-face and Shoulder-to-shoulder * 4:03 From intense talks every night to resting * 6:27 The ‘majestic or shared' question answered 8:05 One Solution: Porn use parallels the desire for human connection 8:42 In the next episode: One thing many guys hide -- https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website https://matthewfray.com - Matthew Fray's website https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice #brokentrust

This video covers some brain science behind video games. We also discuss how Jay replaced his entertainment addiction with a bigger life so he could finally feel satisfied. TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section) 0:00 Intro 0:21 The brain science? (It simulates success) * 1:46 Distraction due to trauma? (What many addicts do) 4:01 Lori to Jay: “You can't sit still” 4:32 How to create something healthier 5:07 The doctor said, “Video games WILL affect his mood” 5:38 One Solution: How Jay replaced it with a bigger life * 8:28 It's not as bright, but it is more valuable 8:47 Solution: Measuring the difference (Entertainment vs whales & trees) 10:58 Satisfaction compared to video games * 11:20 In the next episode: 2 ways to connect after broken trust -- https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website https://matthewfray.com - Matthew Fray's website https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

This episode covers video games and hobbies, and how being distracted by learning things can harm trust restoration. We also discuss how entertainment actually helped our relationship. TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section) 0:00 Intro 0:11 How video games affected our marriage 1:42 I couldn't entertain him 2:55 One Solution: Watch out for dissociation * 5:45 Distracted by learning (but not applying) 7:37 Solutions: Some refreshing time is needed (when distractions help) * 8:53 How Jay helped Lori with video games, etc 10:10 In the next episode: Entertainment vs True Satisfaction -- https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website https://matthewfray.com - Matthew Fray's website https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

In this video we discuss two addictions we haven't covered before, as well as 2 different kinds of values. WE also discuss the issue of faking vulnerability. TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section) 0:00 Intro 0:15 Video games and hobbies (where we invest our time in relationships) 0:39 Stated Values vs Lived Values (“not demonizing those activities”) * 2:51 This can lead to even more broken trust 3:44 Stated values may be about our image 4:21 One Solution: Stated values is the goal vs. Craving the approval of others * 5;43 One Solution: How to name emotions 8:23 One Solution: One thing that would do wonders for relationships * 9:18 One Solution: A place guys can learn vulnerability, not faking it 11:12 Why Matt would “Say it all” now? Practice 11:40 “Thank goodness someone finally said it” vs “Not willing to go there” 12:47 In the next episode: Can video games actually help after broken trust? -- https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website https://matthewfray.com - Matthew Fray's website https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

How do you know if you should stay or go? And what would cause Lori to say, “I am more important than ___”? We discuss those topics with author and coach, Matthew Fray, as well as what if he never gets it? TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section) 0:00 Intro 0:15 What Matt would have told Jay and Lori to do back then 1:24 One Solution: Where to draw the line between staying or going? * 4:22 One Solution: Support network (and being validated) * 5:54 The guy may eventually ‘get it,' but if not… 7:24 Not advocating for divorce, but health * 8:28 "I am more important than my marriage" 9:44 In the next episode: 2 Values / 2 Other Addictions -- https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website https://matthewfray.com - Matthew Fray's website https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

In this conversation with Matthew Fray, we discuss different viewpoints if it appears the guy isn't ‘all in.' We also cover one thing Lori HAD to start trusting Jay would do. TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section) 0:00 Intro 0:15 If he (or she) doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore… * 3:07 When guys don't want to change (instead adding lies) 4:55 What if he's not 'all in' * 8:39 "I had to start trusting that he would hurt me" 10:11 One Solution: A different way to "have more faith in people" 10:56 In the next episode: Should you stay or go? -- https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website https://matthewfray.com - Matthew Fray's website https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

How can a guy keep himself from mistreating–or even abusing–his partner? And how do you even start talking about those behaviors? Those are a couple of topics we discuss with author Matthew Fray in this video. TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section) 0:00 Intro 0:18 Betrayal trauma & how it is the dividing line 2:08 One Solution: How to not be a mistreater/abuser * 3:20 The hard word: Abuse (...and ADHD) 5:04 One Solution: A way to talk about abuse * 7:36 One Solution: The challenge with validating in this area 9:39 The impact of habitual porn use on empathy 11:23 Toxic, clueless or teachable? 12:40 In the next episode: What if he's not all in? -- https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website https://matthewfray.com - Matthew Fray's website https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery #abuse #mistreatment #validation #empathy

Hey everyone, welcome to this episode of the Motherkind podcast, the show that's going to help you navigate the massive challenges of life as a modern mother with more confidence and clarity. This week's episode is all about relationships. That is what we're going to be talking about with the brilliant author Matt Fray. So you think you're a good person, you genuinely love your partner and you try to do the right thing. So why are you struggling in your relationship? Why do you and your partner feel unhappy? Why do you maybe feel disconnected? Or perhaps you've even thought about divorce? These are the exact questions that he asked himself after his marriage had ended. He was a good guy. He loved his wife, he was doing what he thought he should, be doing in a relationship. And yet one day his wife came to him and asked for a divorce. After that, Matt began a journey of self reflection to understand what went wrong. He wrote a now viral article called My wife divorced me, because I left dishes by the sink, and then a best selling book called This is how your marriage ends. What he learned is incredible. And I think pretty life-changing stuff. He saw that what happens in most relationships, particularly in relationships of good people who really do love each other, is that we engage in a series of small habits and dynamics that over time, erode safety and trust. We talk about: the questions he asked himself after his marriage had ended how good people can become good partners habits that kill relationships how to build safety, trust, and life long love I absolutely love this episode, Matt was a joy to talk to you and I was writing ferocious notes as we spoke. I am sure you're gonna love it. SPECIAL THANKS TO ATHLETIC GREENS - THIS WEEK'S SPONSOR We are grateful to Athletic Greens for sponsoring this episode of the Motherkind podcast. I use AG1 every morning. With 75 whole food-sourced ingredients designed to optimize 5 key areas of health, AG1 is the delicious daily habit that sets you up for a healthy future. Invest in your health without compromise! Visit athleticgreens.com/motherkind to get a FREE year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. FREEBIE! Find out how you can take control of your life, reconnect to you and more! Download ‘10 Ways to Reconnect to You' and our weekly and monthly check-in on Motherkind.co. Are you ready to find freedom from guilt? Let me help you find Freedom from Perfectionism if you are a mother who has ever felt not quite enough. Come follow us on Instagram for tips and announcements. ABOUT MATTHEW FRAY Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and subsequent divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes. He has written for publications including the Sunday Times, Daily Mail and Sun and been featured in The New York Times and on BBC radio. His blog Must Be This Tall to Ride has a dedicated following, reaching millions of followers.

Are safety and trust the same thing? This video will look at safety and trust from different angles, and it also covers why a guy may get defensive over those topics, and “What if the guy doesn't change?” TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section) 0:00 Intro 0:14 Are safety & trust the same? 0:47 Maslow's Hierarchy & trust 1:53 One Solution: If people prioritize safety & trust AND…… 2:47 Lori & Jay's take on safety & trust 5:17 "But I'm not trying to hurt her" (why men may be defensive about safety & trust) 7:45 What if the guy never changes? * 8:42 Solutions: What does safety look like (practically) when she can't trust him * 11:37 "If I (did this) I could take care of myself financially" 12:46 In the next episode: Mistreatment or even abuse, and what guys can do instead -- https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website https://matthewfray.com - Matthew Fray's website https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

In the continued conversation with Matt Fray, we cover a few different kinds of guys, including guys who get defensive, guys who fix, guys who ‘don't get it,' and guys who are teachable. We also discuss why Lori would say, “That's not how relationships work,” and why Matt would say, “Can you just care?” TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section) 0:00 Intro 0:17 When he feels defensive, it helps to remember… / Secure Attachment 1:39 One Solution: Instead of "fixing it," try this... 3:46 Good people can be bad spouses (“Can you just care?”) * 5:54 “He may mean well, but he just doesn't get it” 6:36 One Solution: The word that may bring out the protector in guys 7:05 Learning & teachability (“That's not how relationships work”) * 8:43 “But porn is okay!” 9:43 In the next episode: “What if he never changes?” -- https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website https://matthewfray.com - Matthew Fray's website https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery #betrayal #relationships #pornaddiction #marriageadvice

How does validation heal broken trust… especially if he constantly chooses himself over her? And how can he conquer the monsters betrayal usually brings? We discuss these with Matt Fray in this video, as well as how just agreeing on the surface can harm relationships. TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section) 0:00 Intro 0:17 How agreeing (on the surface) can make things worse * 2:10 Not living in integrity 2:51 One Solution: Validation can always work * 3:36 "100% of the time: if Matt doesn't agree, he chooses himself over me" 6:14 Past events + current events suggest it will continue * 7:42 "I didn't try to hurt you, so stop attacking me" 8:54 One Solution: We invalidate just to have an interesting conversation (try this instead) 9:46 How to be the "Monster-Conquering Hero" 10:55 In the next episode: Defensiveness & what can be done instead -- https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website https://matthewfray.com - Matthew Fray's website https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery #trust #validation #safety #relationships

Some of us spend years having the same arguments with our partner, on repeat. Others drift into a state of lonely togetherness where we don't bother to talk about discontents, because it just feels pointless. Joanna Harrison is a marital therapist who has identified five arguments that all couples need to have. If you can work through these issues, your chances of building a healthy, happy relationship are much stronger. In this week's episode, Andrew and Joanna discuss basic skills for productive conflict, why we try to avoid arguments, and how therapy can help. Subscriber Content This Week If you're a subscriber to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Patreon), this week you'll be hearing: ⭐️Joanna's examples of practical strategies that have worked best for the couples she sees.  ⭐️Andrew and Joanna's best piece of advice for couples struggling to disagree productively. ⭐️3 things Joanna KNOWS to be true. ⭐️AND subscribers can also explore a rich trove of bonus material on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and all his previous guests.   Follow Up Read Andrew's new Substack newsletter and join the community there  Get Joanna Harrison's book Five Arguments All Couples (Need to) Have and Why the Washing-Up Matters  Take a look at Joanna Harrison's website https://joannaharrison.co.uk  Follow Joanna Harrison on Twitter @JoCoupleTherapy and on Instagram @joannaharrisoncoupletherapist  Listen to other The Meaningful Life episodes on marriage and relationships: Dr Terry Real on Five Traps that Undermine Your Love and Matthew Fray on How Good People Mess Up Their Marriages  Read Andrew's book I Love You But I'm Not In Love With You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship  Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.   

Matthew Fray's new book "This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships" is directed primarily toward a male audience, and asserts most marriages end with a whimper, not a bang. Matthew helps us understand how good people like him "can be terrible husbands" by unknowingly causing harm to their wives. Did you know most divorces are initiated by women? Matthew explains relationships don't tend to end from a single betrayal, but after years of a slow but persistent erosion in trust over seemingly minor marital disputes. Having first-hand experience with a wife who left him when their son was a toddler, Matthew turned to blogging as his outlet for expressing his extreme pain and frustration, initially victimizing himself as a good guy who didn't deserve to lose his family just because he's not perfect. But after hearing from thousands of men and women - particularly after his viral article "She divorced me because I left dishes by the sink" - Matthew experienced a transformation by taking full responsibility for hurting his wife time and time again, having seldom taken seriously her complaints along the way. Matthew says part of the problem is that no one ever taught him how to be a better husband, and he doesn't hold that opinion as an excuse, but as a conviction that men can learn to do better and not end up with wives who'll leave them, as his did. Matthew has been coaching couples for several years before writing his book.Postpartum is an extremely vulnerable time for mothers and a delicate time for relationships. We hope this episode will shed light on how husbands can best support their wives and avoid the pitfalls of resentment and relationship breakdown over time.  We read Matthew's book and invited him on the show because we believe he understands how to bridge the gap between well-meaning husbands and the wives they unwittingly end up hurting or disappointing. Matthew - and we - recognize the obvious fact that these conversations don't apply to all men, nor do all relationships follow the heterosexual normative. Nevertheless, we believe this discussion, through all its generalizations, are eye-opening and beneficial for either partner in any relationship. Send this one to your partner or a friend. We believe they'll thank you for it.Matthew is the author of "This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships."Matthew Fray **********This show is sponsored by:Silverette USA*DYPER*NOM Maternity*Vyana Infant Massage*Wildbird.co*Beautiful Births and Beyond*Postpartum Soothe**Use promo code DOWNTOBIRTHConnect with Cynthia and Trisha at:Instagram: @downtobirthshow on InstagramEmail: Contact@DownToBirthShow.comCall: (802) 438-3696 (802-GET-DOWN)Support the show

This week, relationship coach Matthew Fray joins the podcast! Matthew and Laurie talk about how he's using what he learned from his past relationships to help you not make the same mistakes in your own. Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and author who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His book "This is How Your Marriage Ends" (HarperOne) went on sale in March 2022. Fray has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, The Sunday Times (London), on ABC's Tamron Hall Show, and several other places.Learn more about Matthew and his work at https://matthewfray.com/ Pick up a copy of "This is How Your Marriage Ends" on AmazonPhilanthrodating: Matt's Charity of choice is "Haven of Rest Ministry" in Akron, Ohio - https://www.havenofrest.org/Follow Laurie on Instagram at http://instagram.com/carolinasmatchmakerTo learn how Laurie and her team can help you find love, visit carolinasmatchmaker.com

The Joyful Attorney Reviews the book "This is How Your Marriage Ends" by Matthew Fray and discusses that while you cannot force your partner to change, you can learn to manage your mindset to find peace. Do Swedish People Feed Their Guests? - The New York TimesJoin Joyful On Demand and get one free month using code JOYFUL at checkout.

Matthew Fray tells what it all comes down to in marriage… and how he felt right after his divorce. Also find out when he would tell a person, “Fine, then don't be married.” TIMESTAMPS 0:00 Intro / The crux of it all in marriage * 2:45 What defined Matt's emotions? / Who is most responsible? 3:59 “7 out of 10 marriages end” * 6:19 What ruined Matt's last day of work 8:29 Jay commends Matt for this 9:47 How Matt felt right after his divorce 10:45 One Solution: Key to successful relationships * 11:35 If it's not a 10 on the pain scale… 11:55 In the next episode: Will it take divorce for him to get it? — https://thecouplecure.com – Jay and Lori's website https://matthewfray.com – Matt's website https://pornpainhealed.com – Lori's site for betrayed partners https://porniskillingme.com – Jay's site for porn addiction recovery #trust #marriageadvice #divorce #relationships

About 70-percent of marriages fail, nearly half end in divorce and an additional 20-percent are comprised of unhappy people who wish they weren't married. Couples need help!! With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of "THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F," and the practical insights of "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES" - the new book: "THIS IS HOW YOUR MARRIAGE ENDS" helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives - and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. This is must-read for every partner no matter what stage - beginning, middle, or even end of your relationship.

About 70-percent of marriages fail, nearly half end in divorce and an additional 20-percent are comprised of unhappy people who wish they weren't married. Couples need help!! With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of "THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F," and the practical insights of "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES" - the new book: "THIS IS HOW YOUR MARRIAGE ENDS" helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives - and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. This is must-read for every partner no matter what stage - beginning, middle, or even end of your relationship.

About 70-percent of marriages fail, nearly half end in divorce and an additional 20-percent are comprised of unhappy people who wish they weren't married. Couples need help!!With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of "THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F," and the practical insights of "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES" - the new book: "THIS IS HOW YOUR MARRIAGE ENDS" helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives - and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. This is must-read for every partner no matter what stage - beginning, middle, or even end of your relationship.

Matthew Fray, author of "This Is How Your Marriage Ends", dissects his marriage breakdown and the micro moments that leads to divorce.Matthew and I discuss the ways we show up for our significant other and how we can provide safety and security for them in our relationships, and moreover how to grow into better people and partners for them now and throughout the turmoil of life. I would love to know your thoughts…You can also go tohttps://www.remipearson.com/ or listen to Perspectives podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast for the full episode.Subscribe to Perspectives: https://tci.rocks/youtube/remi-pearson Other Ways We Can Connect:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Remi.Sharon.PearsonInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/remi.sharon.pearsonLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/remi-sharon.pearsonTwitter: https://twitter.com/remi_pearson  

We asked the moms in our Facebook group about times they caught their spouses being awesome. Maybe it's supporting us in our difficult career choices. Maybe it's reading books on certain issues to do with our kids. Maybe it's brushing hair. (But don't get Amy started on that last one!) In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: Being good vs. being awesome Subverting gender roles in the home Qualities you wish for in a boyfriend vs. in a husband Here are links to the resources mentioned in the episode: "Flying the Coop" episode from Reply All podcast (Margaret's rec) Our Fresh Take episode with Matthew Fray on Strengthening Our Relationships The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children, by Ross Greene Check out our merch! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you'll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING.  KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you're instantly approved for up to $3 million in term life insurance. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child's first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has workouts or everyone. And the Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet, including FREE delivery and setup! Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Pinhook Kentucky bourbon is the perfect gift for the guy who has everything! Each year's vintage is a little different and features an up-and-coming thoroughbred on its label. Text "laughing" to (859) 800-7848 to get connected with a personal shopper- or visit pinhookbourbon.com/laughing to chat with a one right on their website! Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing.  Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify's entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, relationship coach Matthew Frey shares the lessons he learned from his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes. He talks about the importance of being aware of the little things that can erode trust in a relationship, and how to stop them before it's too late. You do it all the time. You leave the dishes in or buy the sink. You walk by a pile of laundry without starting a load. You leave the overflowing garbage in the can instead of just taking it out. Or maybe you're the one constantly nagging your partner to stop Matthew Frey is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. He is the author of the new book, This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships. This is Matthew Frey's story... I was married for 12 years, and we were together for 20. My marriage ended in 2013, and it was awful. I was having a really hard time for 12 to 18 months afterward. I was like, I don't want to feel like this ever again. So I needed to start doing the work to figure out whatever I could learn to protect my future self from a repeat scenario. And the math result of that ended up being eight and a half years of blogging, which grew into a coaching business about three years ago. And then eventually I got some attention from some media. And when The New York Times did a feature on me at the beginning of the Pandemic, that's when things really started to happen. And I was given the opportunity to write this book.    In this episode, you will learn the following: 1. The seemingly small annoyances in our relationships that may be more than a little irritating, and may be signs of deeper issues that could lead to the end of your marriage.  2. Good people can accidentally do things that harm their relationships without realizing it. 3. The ways that we unintentionally damage our relationships by doing things in our blind spots that we're not even aware of. Resources: Guest Website Get your Free One Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens! Follow Us!   Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here!   IF YOU ENJOYED THIS EPISODE, CHECK OUT:    How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships Before It's Too Late with Jayson Gaddis  

Relationships end for all kinds of reasons, but the ones we tend to think of most are the biggies; infidelity, lying, cheating or the vague yet poignant “irreconcilable differences”. But what about all those small moments. The ones when observed in isolation don't mean much, but when there are hundreds, maybe even thousands of small moments like taking each other for granted, making decisions without considering the other person, avoiding problems, fighting to win, undermining one another, relying on each other too much, unrealistic expectations….. And the list goes on. It's like relationship death by 1,000 tiny paper-cuts. In today's episode we explore what these micro moments are, why they happen and how to recognise them before they end your relationship. Matthew Fray is a relationship coach, writer and author of the new book "This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships." His work has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, The Times and Sunday Times in London, The Financial Times, and The Daily Mail. He is based in Cleveland, Ohio in the United States and is the father of a 13-year-old son. We chat  The micro moments in your relationship that can feel like paper cuts Why relationships don't always end for the big reasons Increasing your self awareness and practicing empathy  How invalidating your person and their feelings is a fast-track to either a shitty relationship or it ending    Better Relationships We empower couples to create thriving relationships so that they can play all out in life, set big goals and put plans in place to actually achieve them Better World Many research studies have shown that great relationships are associated with better health, greater happiness, and even a longer life. If more of us had thriving, healthy, happy romantic relationships, we know we would have a better world. That's why, every time someone works with us, via our partnership with Buy1Give1 we also help someone else in the world. Yep a stranger, someone you'll never meet. Connect with Sammi & Nathan Jaeger  Website - https://www.fuelcollective.com.au/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/thefuelcollective Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/thrivingcouples/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/fuel_collective Instagram - Date Forever - https://www.instagram.com/dateforever/ Instagram - Fuel Collective - https://www.instagram.com/fuel.collective/ Instagram - Nath - https://www.instagram.com/nathjaeger/ Instagram - Sammi - https://www.instagram.com/sammisomewhere/ Connect with Matthew Fray Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/frayrelationships/ Website - https://matthewfray.com/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/matthewfrayMBTTTR/ Resources This is how your Marriage Ends - Matthew Fray

Is your relationship in a bad place? What are the signs that your relationship is ending? Here to help you get to the bottom of a dying romance is Matthew Fray. Matthew is a relationship coach, writer, and subbed by the New York Times as "the man who coaches husbands on how to avoid divorce." He joins host Kimmy Seltzer to share the things he learned in his own divorce journey to help others save their relationships. They talk in-depth about the different behaviors and habits that lead to a dwindling intimacy you might not even be aware of with insights from his book, This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships. Tune in and learn valuable lessons on relationships and the value of communication and self-awareness.

What can the self reflection of a divorced heterosexual man tell us about the Happily Ever After secret sauce - THE APOLOGY. More importantly, perhaps, what does that secret sauce say about us as Romance Consumers and Straight, Yt Ladies? Like, what is that secret sauce covering? Whoa!mance is a part of the Frolic Podcast Network.

Steph talks with Matthew Fray, a relationship coach and author of ‘This is How your Marriage Ends: A hopeful approach to saving relationships '. After his own experience of divorce, and after some soul searching, Matt had a kind of reckoning where he realised that how he had behaved in the marriage – mostly the every day little things that cause the same rows – had over time eroded trust, which led his wife to leave. Matt has used this to look at how men behave in relationships, primarily in romantic relationships with women. Steph and Matt discuss Matt's ‘Invalidation Triple Threat' Theory, as well as how male identity and masculinity impacts how men behave in relationships - often unintentionally - and how consideration is something that women do so much more than men but is essential to a healthy relationship. Matt's book ‘This is How Your Marriage Ends' Matt's website and Instagram Matt's Article ‘She Divorced me Because I left Dishes by the Sink'Matt on the Mark Groves Podcast Steph's Instagram Thoughtful GIfts from Don't Buy Her Flowers Contact Steph podcast@dontbuyherflowers.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Matthew Fray is a relationship coach who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage to help others avoid making the same mistakes that he did. He's a 43-year-old single father who is best known for his viral blog post "She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink." Fray is the author of the new book "This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships." Matthew gives us wonderful, poignant insights into how to validate our partners, find out their true needs, and re-establish trust when we've lost it. In this episode, Matthew, Margaret, and Amy discuss: Why we may not realize we're betraying our partner's trust Matthew's hierarchy of needs in relationships Why couples always have the same fight Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Maslow's hierarchy of needs Matthew's recent article in The Atlantic Our episode with Eve Rodsky on changing the invisible workload Here's where you can find Matthew: matthewfray.com Buy Matthew's book FB: @matthewfrayMBTTTR IG: @frayrelationships Twitter: @MBTTTR Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Aura Frame turns your family's past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $40 off while supplies last by visiting auraframes.com/FRESH.  Beam's Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you're instantly approved. Native deodorant and other body care products are paraben-free on the inside, and now plastic-free on the outside! Get 20% off your first order at nativedeo.com/fresh or with promo code FRESH. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing.  Renzo's Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and author of "This is How Your Marriage Ends".  With a title like that, I knew there must have been some backstory from his own life.  We get into his path in career and relationships and what led him to writing this book! He's neither a marriage advocate nor anti-marriage. He just doesn't want good people who want to be married (or who just want to spend a lifetime together) to suffer the same fate that he did.  Go find more from Matthew and get his book at https://matthewfray.com   Get my book at  ftheshouldsdothewants.com and claim access to the bonuses!   If you'd like to support Ossa's crowdfunding campaign on Start Engine to become one of the first podcast networks owned by its listeners and members—that's you and me! Go to:  startengine.com/ossa, Please subscribe and leave a review! Screenshot it and send it to podcast@yourjoyologist.com and I will send you a gift from my shop.yourjoyologist.com   For all things me go to https://yourjoyologist.com and @_triciahuffman and @yourjoyologist on social media   Go get + gift my daily inspiration app OWN YOUR AWESOME and check out my product line here!    Interested in working with me? Send me a DM or email your joyologist at your joyologist dot com

Matthew Fray, author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships, has been on my guest wishlist for a really long time. That is why I am truly delighted to share our conversation with you. Matt joins me to talk about how men can show up as better partners in relationships. I first learned about Matt when I read his now-viral blog post, “She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes Near the Sink.”  It's not just about dishes. It never truly is, now is it?  Matt shares his experiences with writing that blog post, the lessons he has learned since his divorce, and offers insight on how men can become mindfully aware of their spouses' experiences, share in the division of labor in relationships, and more.  Show Highlights How his blog post aims to invite a conversation about what is allowed to matter (5:55) In relationships, there is a discrepancy between values, preferences, and things that affect one another (6:44) Marriage and the man card in cis-hetero gendered relationships (9:14) Matthew describes the invalidation triple threat: aka the ways in which we invalidate people when we disagree with them (17:14) Be mindful of the little things we are not paying attention to because they are often the root of relationship issues (23:41) We explore four key relationship skills including how to argue or disagree effectively (38:19) Learn more about Matthew Fray: Matthew Fray is the author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships. With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F," and the practical insights of "The 5 Love Languages," "This Is How Your Marriage Ends" helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives - and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and many more. His blog Must Be This Tall To Ride has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers. Resources & Links: Book a Sanity Saver Session in May or June Matthew's website Matthew's new book Matthew on Twitter Matthew on Facebook She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes by the Sink TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Cale discusses writer Matthew Fray's broken marriage, which all started with a dirty drinking glass. Callers flood the switchboard with their takes and share their personal joys and struggles.     https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/04/marriage-problems-fight-dishes/629526/

Matthew Fray is a relationship coach, blogger and an author.  Matthew's marriage ended because he left a glass next to the sink. Well, not exactly, but near enough. He spent the next few years recovering, reflecting and writing about how a relationship can fall apart without anything catastrophic happening, and also working out how to stop it from happening again. Expect to learn how even good people can be bad spouses, why men and women aren't speaking the same language in most relationships, why most divorces are initiated by women, why trust is even more important than love, why peace and contentment are better life goals than happiness, and much more... Sponsors: Join the Modern Wisdom Community to connect with me & other listeners - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/ Get over 37% discount on all products site-wide from MyProtein at https://bit.ly/proteinwisdom (use code: MODERNWISDOM) Get 83% discount & 3 months free from Surfshark VPN at https://surfshark.deals/MODERNWISDOM (use code MODERNWISDOM) Extra Stuff: Buy This Is How Your Marriage Ends - https://amzn.to/3L78KzK Check out Matthew's website - https://amzn.to/3L78KzK  Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/ 

Cale discusses writer Matthew Fray's broken marriage, which all started with a dirty drinking glass. Callers flood the switchboard with their takes and share their personal joys and struggles   https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/04/marriage-problems-fight-dishes/629526/  

We will learn: Why couples always seems to have the same fights.  How to identify and change our response patterns.  Key relationship skills to move closer to each other every single day.  Relationships are hard. You go from flying solo to partnership and you're suddenly just supposed to understand how to share your life with someone. If you're having the same fight over and over again, or you're always arguing over who's right, or you don't feel emotionally connected, or you just want to make sure you're prepared for when conflict does arise, this episode is for you. Today we're going to learn the tools to make your relationship last. Our guest is Matthew Fray. He is the author of: This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships. Links from the episode: Show Notes: https://mindlove.com/x78 Sign up for The Morning Mind Love for short daily notes from your highest self.  Get Mind Love Premium for exclusive ad-free episodes and monthly meditations.  Support Mind Love Sponsors   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and many more. His blog, Must Be This Tall To Ride, has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers. Filtered through the lens of his own surprising, life-changing experience and his years counseling couples, his book THIS IS HOW YOUR MARRIAGE ENDS: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships exposes the root problem of so many relationships that go wrong: we simply haven't been taught any of the necessary skills. Why did Matthew's marriage go south? How did a call to a therapist motivate him to turn his experience into a blog and later a book? What's the dating reality for people in their 40s? Matthew discusses all of this and more in this insightful episode. What you will Learn in this Episode How we accidentally damage our relationships via habits that we honestly don't know are harmful. This is how good people end up being “bad” spouses. How few things can destroy relationships as reliably as inequality in our shared domestic responsibilities (usually housework and parenting). Why the quality of intimacy correlates closely with how competently we manage and participate in this shared domestic work. Men, in particular, should take heed. If she feels like your mom, she's not going to want to sleep with you. Why two relationship-damaging habits “invisible” to many people are especially harmful because we often don't notice them or the paper-cut wounds that build up because of them — our tendency to invalidate others' emotional experiences when we disagree with them; and our frequent failure to consider a partner's emotional wants and needs when making decisions due to thoughtlessness or forgetfulness. That relationships require safety and trust in order to survive and thrive. Unfortunately, many people are blind to the ways we accidentally erode trust or take away another's sense of safety through our daily routines. Our relationships crumble to the point of no return, often while one or both partners are too busy or distracted to notice. Where to buy Matthew Fray's This is How Your Marriage Ends Amazon | Bookshop.org Visit https://matthewfray.com/ for more information.

In this episode of the Balance Boldly Podcast sitting with Naketa Ren Thigpen let's welcome Matthew Fray, he is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and many more. His blog Must Be This Tall to Ride has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers.What you will learn·         To discover why we struggled to relate.·         Why people are not having difficult conversations about their relationships.·         Discovering the blind spots in your relationship.·         How to learn your lessons that won't carry over into your next relationshipContact Matthew FrayWebsite: https://matthewfray.com/Follow:https://mobile.twitter.com/mbtttrhttps://www.facebook.com/matthewfrayMBTTTR/https://www.instagram.com/mbtttr/Subscribe, REVIEW, Share & Balance BoldlyOn the Balance Boldly Podcast, host Naketa Ren Thigpen talks with ambitious women in business (and a few brave men) from a wide array of industries about their pursuit of success, how they face business burnout, navigate relationship hurdles, and what overall work/life balance looks like for them. Not your conventional personal development podcast, Balance Boldly uncovers real solutions to real problems afflicting real people at home and in the workplace, daily.If you enjoyed this episode, head over to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart Radio, or your favorite podcast app to subscribe to the show and leave your honest review.If you want to dive deeper into personal development topics shared on the BBP (Balance Boldly Podcast) and get the “how-to” for implementing and infusing these tools, connect on LinkedIn so you get notifications for the Live Fully LinkedIn LIVESTREAMS held every Wednesday at 12 pm EST (as long as I'm not selfishly vacationing and intentionally refueling)

Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes. His work has been featured in The New York Times, The Times and The Sunday Times of London, The Daily Mail, Salon, Huffington Post, as well as with television programs The Tamron Hall Show in the United States and ITV's This Morning in the United Kingdom. He is the author of "This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships." And his blog, Must Be This Tall To Ride has a dedicated following which has reached millions of readers.For more information, please visit:https://matthewfray.com/To become a Better Place Project Member (and receive free BPP Merch) and support our show, please visit:https://www.patreon.com/BetterplaceprojectTo stay connected with Better Place Project and for updates and behind the scenes info, please follow us on social media:Website: www.BetterPlaceProject.org(Leave us a voice message directly from the home page of our website)Instagram: @BetterPlaceProj    To follow Steve & Erin on Instagram: @SteveNorrisOfficial  @Erinorris

Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and author of THIS IS HOW YOUR MARRIAGE ENDS. Matthew leans on the lessons he learned in his failed marriage to help others avoid making the same mistakes.

Many people want to have fulfilling long-lasting relationships.Many people get married each year.Many people get divorced each year as well.This is a sad fact, and yet, we continue to look for "the one."But, what if "the one" would stay that way if we knew how to better behave and validate their feelings?Matthew Fray is my guest today and he shares his insights as a person who has gone through divorce,  become a relationship coach and author.Two relationship-damaging habits “invisible” to many people are especially harmful because we often don't notice them or the paper-cut wounds that build up because of them — our tendency to invalidate others' emotional experiences when we disagree with them; and our frequent failure to consider a partner's emotional wants and needs when making decisions due to thoughtlessness or forgetfulness.Learn more about Matthew Fray at his Website:This is How Your Marriage Ends book @ Amazon.

Can your relationship be saved before it's too late? Matthew Fray returns to talk about his new book "This Is How Your Marriage Ends", and reveals the mistakes that most men make, the percentage of people who shouldn't stay together, what women can do better, why good people can be bad at relationships, how to prevent conflict, why he has a hopeful approach to saving relationships, and much much more!

• Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and many more. His blog Must Be This Tall To Ride has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers. Matthew is the author of the new book, This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships. https://matthewfray.com/

Can your relationship be saved before it's too late? Matthew Fray returns to talk about his new book "This Is How Your Marriage Ends", and reveals the mistakes that most men make, the percentage of people who shouldn't stay together, what women can do better, why good people can be bad at relationships, how to prevent conflict, why he has a hopeful approach to saving relationships, and much much more!

Divorced Cuz' I Left Dishes By The Sink! SAVING RELATIONSHIPS with MATTHEW FRAY of https://matthewfray.com (#GOC) “Every time she'd walk into the kitchen and find a drinking glass by the sink, she moved incrementally closer to moving out and ending our marriage. I just didn't know it yet.” - Matthew Fray needed to figure out how ex-wifey went from a woman who adored him to the woman who left him. Piecing it together, Matthew realized he was a good man, but a bad husband. Then he wrote a book to prevent others from losing wifey. In this episode of Get On Code, we focus on saving relationships with the author of 'THIS IS HOW YOUR MARRIAGE ENDS, A HOPEFUL APPROACH TO SAVING RELATIONSHIPS. https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Marriage-Ends-Relationships-ebook/dp/B098YCXC1V?scrlybrkr=780cf512 Family is the foundation of #empowerment. #GetOnCode Family! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/get-on-code/message

We begin with an update on the war in Ukraine. We speak with Robert Huish, from the Department of International Development Studies at Dalhousie University for details on Tuesday's ‘peace talks' between Russia and Ukraine in Turkey. It's the ‘end of the honeymoon' for Mayor Jyoti Gondek and the new City Council? That's the ‘takeway' from a new civic poll done by “ThinkHQ Public Affairs.” We get a breakdown of the results of the last month's polling. How do you identify ‘relationship-killing' behavior patterns in your marriage? We discuss with author Matthew Fray, who's new book is titled: “She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes by the Sink”. Finally, it's perhaps the most popular of all “comfort foods”: CHEESE – and it's the focus of this month's edition of “Savour Calgary Magazine”. We catch up with Editor Camie Leard, for all the “ooey-gooey” details on Calgary's vibrant cheese offerings. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

About 70-percent of marriages fail, nearly half end in divorce and an additional 20-percent are comprised of unhappy people who wish they weren't married. Couples need help!! With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of "THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F," and the practical insights of "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES" - the new book: "THIS IS HOW YOUR MARRIAGE ENDS" helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives - and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. This is must-read for every partner no matter what stage - beginning, middle, or even end of your relationship. About the author: MATTHEW FRAY is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and many more. His blog Must Be This Tall To Ride has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/tntbsmedia/message

We tend to look on the bright side of things; find humour in the everyday grind known as marriage & parenting. We do this because we believe staying ahead of things allows you to control them better. We also know that not all marriages are the same, not all situations can be resolved through laughter and Divorce is solution for many couples. Fact is, about 70-percent of marriages fail, nearly half end in divorce and an additional 20-percent are comprised of unhappy people who wish they weren't married. We believe that couples could use some help! Insert MATTHEW FRAY , relationship coach and writer (THIS IS HOW YOUR MARRIAGE ENDS) who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and many more. His blog Must Be This Tall To Ride has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers. Connect with our guest Matthew Frey Book This Podcast is brought to you by our sponsors: HelloFresh - Code: TLC16 Policy Genius Let's Get Checked - Code: LAUGH kiwico.com - Code: TLC - Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line vionicshoes.com Enjoy FREE SHIPPING with promo code: LAUGH Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

THIS IS HOW YOUR MARRIAGE ENDS: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships.Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and more. His blog is Must Be This Tall To Ride.

A successful relationship needs both partners to build trust and validate the other. So if one partner doesn't feel respected or loved, the relationship will inevitably fall apart. One way couples unintentionally ignore the feelings of their significant other is through invalidation. By belittling the emotions of our loved ones, we are indirectly saying that we don't value them. How can we avoid falling into this pitfall? Unfortunately, there's no precise answer to this. But we can always start with the basics—build trust and offer genuine apologies and heartfelt consideration to our loved ones. This episode is brought to you by: AARPJoin for $12 for the first year with automatic renewal. You'll get a second membership for FREE, plus the AARP the magazine and a free gift! www.aarp.org/lovedBiOptimizers www.bioptimizers.com/radicallylovedUse Code: radicallyloved10 for 10% OFF your first purchaseCerebral www.getcerebral.com/loved to get 65% OFF your first month! FAHERTY www.fahertybrand.comUse Code: LOVED for 20% OFF In this episode, Matthew Fray joins us to share the lessons he learned about failed relationships and divorce. He explains why invalidation destroys trust and security in a relationship and how genuine apologies help build trust toward a healthy marriage. Finally, he imparts how couples could respond better to feelings of invalidation expressed by their partners. If you're searching for how to build trust, create emotional safety, and be a better partner, this episode is for you! Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:1.Understand why relationships fail.2.Discover the importance of a genuine apology.3.Learn why a strong relationship needs you to build trust and validation.Resources●Grab a copy of This Is How Your Marriage Ends https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Marriage-Ends-Relationships-ebook/dp/B097RPC1SD by Matthew Fray●Contact Matthew ○Facebook https://www.facebook.com/matthewfrayMBTTTR/○Twitter https://twitter.com/mbtttr?lang=en○Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mbtttr/?hl=en●Visit Must Be This Tall To Ride https://mustbethistalltoride.com/●Verywell Fit website https://www.verywellfit.com/●FREE workbook! Apply the lessons you learn from this episode as you listen! Enter your email below, and I'll send it right away!Episode HighlightsMatthew Ten Years Ago ●Matthew believed he was a decent person and a good partner. ●When we are unaware of hurting others, it diminishes our responsibility to the consequences of our actions. ●Today, Matthew understands the gravity of his actions to his loved ones. ●A person's happiness sometimes depends on the awareness and validation of their significant other to their experiences.Why Relationships Fail●Failure to do simple and small tasks for your partner shows indifference to their feelings. ●Relationships end when someone's feelings are hurt or ignored.●Someone might not feel safe in their relationship. ●Someone with a healthy set of boundaries will voluntarily leave a harmful relationship.●Paying attention to the small things creates a lasting relationship. On Keeping a Relationship ●Couples break up because of the absence of trust and safety in their relationship. ●Deep wounds are carved into someone's heart when they're unloved and disrespected by their significant other. On Saving Relationships●There is a limit to how much betrayal and pain someone can take. ●Promising to care and love someone is irrelevant when you inflict pain on them. ●Demonstrating love through actions is just lip service. Couples need to learn how to build trust, safety, and respect. Habits to a Healthier Relationship●Validation and consideration are two habits needed to maintain a happy relationship.●Validate your partner's feelings. When we disregard our loved one's emotions, their trust slowly slips away. ●Be mindful of the person with whom you share space. The Invalidation Triple Threat ●There are three distinct ways to invalidate our partners: gaslighting, understatement, and defensiveness. ●Gaslighting happens when we discredit and correct the emotions felt by our significant other. ●Understatement means considering our partner's feelings as an overreaction. ●Defensiveness is defending your harmful actions and implies you would do them again.●Invalidation breeds mistrust. Listen to the full episode to hear how Matthew's marriage ended because of discrediting this wife's feelings. Towards a Better Response●Acknowledge your fault when you unintentionally hurt others.●Understand how a seemingly trivial accident resulted in pain.●Learn to accept the emotional needs and wants of your better half. The Importance of Apology●Take responsibility for your offending behavior and be genuinely sorry for hurting the person you love. ●There are four steps to an effective apology. Listen to the whole episode to know more about it!●The cornerstone habits of a successful relationship are communication, validation, love, support, and care.

A successful relationship needs both partners to build trust and validate the other. So if one partner doesn't feel respected or loved, the relationship will inevitably fall apart. One way couples unintentionally ignore the feelings of their significant other is through invalidation. By belittling the emotions of our loved ones, we are indirectly saying that we don't value them. How can we avoid falling into this pitfall? Unfortunately, there's no precise answer to this. But we can always start with the basics—build trust and offer genuine apologies and heartfelt consideration to our loved ones. This episode is brought to you by: AARPJoin for $12 for the first year with automatic renewal. You'll get a second membership for FREE, plus the AARP the magazine and a free gift! www.aarp.org/lovedBiOptimizers www.bioptimizers.com/radicallylovedUse Code: radicallyloved10 for 10% OFF your first purchaseCerebral www.getcerebral.com/loved to get 65% OFF your first month! FAHERTY www.fahertybrand.comUse Code: LOVED for 20% OFF In this episode, Matthew Fray joins us to share the lessons he learned about failed relationships and divorce. He explains why invalidation destroys trust and security in a relationship and how genuine apologies help build trust toward a healthy marriage. Finally, he imparts how couples could respond better to feelings of invalidation expressed by their partners. If you're searching for how to build trust, create emotional safety, and be a better partner, this episode is for you! Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:1.Understand why relationships fail.2.Discover the importance of a genuine apology.3.Learn why a strong relationship needs you to build trust and validation.Resources●Grab a copy of This Is How Your Marriage Ends https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Marriage-Ends-Relationships-ebook/dp/B097RPC1SD by Matthew Fray●Contact Matthew ○Facebook https://www.facebook.com/matthewfrayMBTTTR/○Twitter https://twitter.com/mbtttr?lang=en○Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mbtttr/?hl=en●Visit Must Be This Tall To Ride https://mustbethistalltoride.com/●Verywell Fit website https://www.verywellfit.com/●FREE workbook! Apply the lessons you learn from this episode as you listen! Enter your email below, and I'll send it right away!Episode HighlightsMatthew Ten Years Ago ●Matthew believed he was a decent person and a good partner. ●When we are unaware of hurting others, it diminishes our responsibility to the consequences of our actions. ●Today, Matthew understands the gravity of his actions to his loved ones. ●A person's happiness sometimes depends on the awareness and validation of their significant other to their experiences.Why Relationships Fail●Failure to do simple and small tasks for your partner shows indifference to their feelings. ●Relationships end when someone's feelings are hurt or ignored.●Someone might not feel safe in their relationship. ●Someone with a healthy set of boundaries will voluntarily leave a harmful relationship.●Paying attention to the small things creates a lasting relationship. On Keeping a Relationship ●Couples break up because of the absence of trust and safety in their relationship. ●Deep wounds are carved into someone's heart when they're unloved and disrespected by their significant other. On Saving Relationships●There is a limit to how much betrayal and pain someone can take. ●Promising to care and love someone is irrelevant when you inflict pain on them. ●Demonstrating love through actions is just lip service. Couples need to learn how to build trust, safety, and respect. Habits to a Healthier Relationship●Validation and consideration are two habits needed to maintain a happy relationship.●Validate your partner's feelings. When we disregard our loved one's emotions, their trust slowly slips away. ●Be mindful of the person with whom you share space. The Invalidation Triple Threat ●There are three distinct ways to invalidate our partners: gaslighting, understatement, and defensiveness. ●Gaslighting happens when we discredit and correct the emotions felt by our significant other. ●Understatement means considering our partner's feelings as an overreaction. ●Defensiveness is defending your harmful actions and implies you would do them again.●Invalidation breeds mistrust. Listen to the full episode to hear how Matthew's marriage ended because of discrediting this wife's feelings. Towards a Better Response●Acknowledge your fault when you unintentionally hurt others.●Understand how a seemingly trivial accident resulted in pain.●Learn to accept the emotional needs and wants of your better half. The Importance of Apology●Take responsibility for your offending behavior and be genuinely sorry for hurting the person you love. ●There are four steps to an effective apology. Listen to the whole episode to know more about it!●The cornerstone habits of a successful relationship are communication, validation, love, support, and care.

John discusses the latest from the Senate hearings for Supreme Court nominee Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson, speaks with Matthew Fray, the author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends, and deals with a raging right-wing caller.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

For episode homepage, resources and links, visit: https://kristenmanieri.com/episode173/   Description Not all relationships end because of one traumatic event, such as one person cheating. For author Matthew Fray, divorce is more like death by a thousand cuts. In his new book, This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships, Matthew looks at his personal experience in his divorce, as well as the experience he's gleaned as a relationship coach, to identify and address relationship-killing behavior and patterns that lead to divorce. Matthew exposes the root cause of so many relationships gone wrong, as well as the necessary skills we need to cultivate if we want to avoid alienating our partners and creating mistrust.   Guest Bio Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes. His writing has been featured in the New York Times, the London Sunday Times, the Huffington Post, Babble, and many other outlets. His blog Must Be This Tall To Ride has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers.   Host Bio Kristen Manieri is the author of Better Daily Mindfulness Habits: Simples Changes with Lifelong Impact (July 2021: Rockridge Press). She's certified both as a habits coach and mindfulness teacher. She specializes in: stress reduction, energy management, mindset, resilience, focus, habit formation, rest rituals, and prioritizing personal well-being. As the host of the weekly 60 Mindful Minutes podcast, an Apple top 100 social science podcast, Kristen has interviewed over 140 authors and thought-leaders about what it means to live a more conscious, connected, intentional AND joyful life. Learn more at https://kristenmanieri.com/work-with-me/.   Mentioned in this Episode   Guest's book: This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships   Guest's website: https://mustbethistalltoride.com/   An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands: https://mustbethistalltoride.com/an-open-letter-to-shitty-husbands/   Connect with the 60 Mindful Minutes podcast   Web: https://kristenmanieri.com Email: Kristen@kristenmanieri.com   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/60MindfulMinutes Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristenmanieri_/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/kristenmanieri/    

Themes: Marriage, Relationships, Commitment, Divorce, Trust, Intimacy   Summary: One night during his divorce, Matthew Fray started a blog. He needed to figure out how his ex-wife went from the 18 year old college freshman who adored him to the angry woman who thought he was a jerk and left him. As he pieced together the story of his marriage and its end, Matthew began to realize a hard truth: even though he was a decent guy, he was a bad husband. As he shared raw, uncomfortable, and darkly humorous first-person stories about the lessons he'd learned from his failed marriage, his post – “She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By the Sink” — was read over four million times. Now, his book, This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships, is set to release this month. Filtered through the lens of his own surprising, life-changing experience and his years counselling couples, the book exposes the root problem of so many relationships that go wrong to help partners identify and address relationship-killing behaviour patterns in their own lives. I am so excited to have Matt on today to dive into it all!   Discover: Why most relationships or marriages come to an end (even if we're still in love) The subtle ways we erode trust in our relationships Two foundational habits you can focus on to build more trust and intimacy within your relationship What it means to validate your partner   Links: This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships by Matthew Fray Matt's Blog - Must Be This Tall to Ride   Sponsors: Organifi | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% off all products at organifi.com/createthelove House of Wise Co. | Use code CREATETHELOVEBOGO to get one free box of gummies when you buy one box at houseofwise.co Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In the first episode of Time Out, Eve and Aditi begin to unpack why it's so difficult for women to value and guard their own time, rather than to give it all away to others—and how the presenting problem (forgetting to put blueberries on a grocery list) is rarely the actual problem (a lack of mutual respect and trust between partners). Eve and Aditi share the tiny betrayals that kickstarted their Fair Play journeys. They are joined by relationship coach Matthew Fray, who went viral for his article "She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By The Sink" and shares his ‘in hindsight' advice for getting it right. To learn more about Matthew, visit mustbethistalltoride.com/. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

MARRIAGE. Matthew Fray's writings on marriage and divorce, including his most famous blog post, “She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink”, have been read by tens of millions worldwide. In this episode, Matthew shares 3 great bourbons and a bracingly honest perspective on marriage, divorce and what he wished he had done differently to save his own relationship. Men, Matthew believes, are most commonly the culprits in their marital breakdown, and understanding how a few well-intentioned behaviors can erode trust over time is often the key to saving a relationship from ruin. Matthew's book, “This is How Your Marriage Ends”, will be released worldwide on 3/22/22 and is now available for pre-order wherever books are sold.Drinks in this episode:>> William Heavenhill Small Batch 13 Year Straight Bourbon Whiskey, “Bottled-in-Bond”, 100 Proof; Heaven Hill Distillery, Bardstown, KY>> Evan Williams 23 Years Old Straight Bourbon Whiskey, 107 Proof; Heaven Hill Distillery, Bardstown, KY >> Stagg Jr. Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, 131.1 Proof, Buffalo Trace Distillery, Franklin County, KY If you've been enjoying the 3Q3D podcast, please consider giving us a rating, a review, or sharing an episode with a friend. Give us a follow on our social sites here:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/3drinkspodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/3DrinkspodcastTwitter: https://twitter.com/3Q3Dpod

Is it the little things that are fatal to a partnership? Matthew Fray, viral blogging sensation and author of "This Is How Your Marriage Ends," stops by to talk about causing pain in a partnership, taking responsibility for behavior, breaking potentially harmful patterns, what men need to do better, why women need to communicate clearer, bouncing back from misery, how to stop causing conflict, why it takes a while to mature, and much, much more! Plus, why monsters tend to hide under the bed!

Is it the little things that are fatal to a partnership? Matthew Fray, viral blogging sensation and author of "This Is How Your Marriage Ends," stops by to talk about causing pain in a partnership, taking responsibility for behavior, breaking potentially harmful patterns, what men need to do better, why women need to communicate clearer, bouncing back from misery, how to stop causing conflict, why it takes a while to mature, and much, much more! Plus, why monsters tend to hide under the bed!

Matthew Fray is the author of the viral article “My Wife Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes By the Sink”. His divorce left him emotionally crushed: struggling not to cry all the time, and finding it hard even to breathe.  In this episode Andrew and Matthew talk about the lessons of Matthew's failed marriage, and about how Matthew is using his own experiences in his coaching work with men experiencing relationship difficulties. According to Matthew, “the things that destroy our relationships work like cancer…by the time we detect the problem, it's already too late”. His work is based around helping men to see the problems earlier, and to build the emotional toolkit so many of them are missing. Matthew Fray works as a relationship coach and as a writer. He blogs at Must Be This Tall To Ride and has a book coming out in April 2022, called This Is How Your Marriage Ends. Follow Up Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.  Pre-order Matthew Fray's book This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships Read Matthew's blog Must Be This Tall To Ride Read Matthew's articles on The Good Men Project:  Follow Matthew on Twitter @MBTTTR and on Facebook @matthewfrayMBTTTR  Read Andrew's blog “Three Secrets of a Happy Relationship”  Read Andrew's book Can We Start Again Please? Twenty Questions to Fall Back in Love Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on: Twitter https://twitter.com/andrewgmarshall  Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AndrewGMarshallTherapy  YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF5gT7ru5sblpFaU2-iWTTw 

Welcome to the Sunday Night Health Show podcast. You've probably heard that the Delta variant may send us back into lockdown but what about Lambda? Dr. Jason Kindrachuk lays that out for us. Dating is everyone's nightmare but it doesn't have to be according to podcast host Lindsay Metselaar who educates on everything from red flags to giving someone a chance and when to say “I love you.” When the relationship doesn't work out, what next? Matthew Fray explains why it's important to be kind to your ex. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you want to be a better co-worker and co-lifer? All you need is a bit of insight into what characteristics can boost your relationships however formal or informal they may be. In this episode, Ria talks insight with popular blogger, Matthew Fray.

This week, we chat about the viral Op Ed from Matthew Fray who counsels men in ways to save their marriages. Is it good for a white man to step up and raises these issues that have been historically dominated by women? What should the role of a husband be in 2020? Why are gender roles in heterosexual marriages still so segregated? We share our thoughts on Australia's response to the protests in the US, and the performance of virtue and a desire for social justice. Attention and care is not a performance. Why has performing virtue become the norm? Discussed this week: The Good Men Project Articles Deaths Inside: Every Indigenous Death in Custody since 2019 (The Guardian, April 2019) The Man Who Coaches Husbands on How to Avoid Divorce (NYTtimes, 2020) She divorced me because I left dishes by the sink (HuffPost, 2016) Michelle Obama & Roxane Gay's Responses (Women's Agenda, 2020) 8 minutes and 46 seconds: How George Floyd was killed in Police Custody (NYTimes, 2020) Books Becoming (Michelle Obama, 2018) Seven Fallen Feathers (Tanya Talaga, 2017) Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn and Consent (Peggy Orenstein, 2020) Songs Across the Universe, Fiona Apple (dir. Paul Thomas Anderson, 1998) Films/Series This is where I Leave You (dir. Shawn Levy, 2014) Jeffery Epstein: Filthy Rich (Netflix, 2020) Facebook | Asian Bitches Down Under Instagram | Asian Bitches Down Under See

Join me today for a conversation with author, Matthew Fray all about intentionality in marriage. Matthew has written a thoughtful, down-to-earth guide to help partners identify and address relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives. Filtered through the lens of his own surprising, life-changing experience and his years counseling couples, his new book, This Is How Your Marriage Ends, exposes the root problem of so many relationships that go wrong. We simply haven't been taught any of the necessary skills, Matthew explains. He is here to talk about all of this and more on today's episode.-------------------------------My Resource of the Week:Five Love Languages by Gary ChapmanShow Notes for EP224: Good People Can Be Bad at RelationshipsEnjoy this Podcast?Post a review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning into this podcast, then do not hesitate to write a review. You can also share this with your fellow mothers so that they can be inspired to think more and do with less. Order (or review) my recent book, Minimalist Moms: Living & Parenting With SimplicityQuestions? You can contact me through my website, find me on Instagram, or like The Minimalist Moms Page on Facebook.Thanks for listening! For more updates and episodes, visit the website. You may also tune in on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or Stitcher.Checkout the Minimalist Moms Podcast storefront for recommendations from Diane.If you enjoyed today's episode of the Minimalist Moms Podcast, then hit subscribe and share it with your friends!---------------------------------Episode Sponsored by:QuickRecipe Companion App | Download the QuickRecipe Companion app today for free on the app store or google play. It's one app, one shopping list, all you need to get a home-cooked meal on the table fast.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/minimalist-moms-podcast2093/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy