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Self-Awareness is the Key to Habit TransformationGretchen Rubin emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in understanding our behaviors and motivations, particularly when it comes to habit formation and goal achievement. She explains the Four Tendencies as:Upholders - meet both outer and inner expectationsQuestioners - question all expectations and will only meet them if they make sense Obligers - readily meet outer expectations but struggle with inner expectationsRebels - who resist all expectations, whether they are external or internalThis episode is jam-packed with tips and insight!

In the previous segment of UnMind, titled "the least important thing," I closed with a call for submissions; quoting myself: If you have any topics or areas of interest in Zen that you would like me to explore in 2025, please let me know. You know where I live. Having received little response, I can only assume that this podcast is not gaining much traction out there, in spite of near-weekly continuity for the past three or so years. Or that those of you who are following it don't have any topics of interest related to Zen, at least none that you would like me to take up. Or some combination of both. In this segment, the last one of the year, let me start with the obvious: the fact that actually, you do not know where I live. That is, none of us really knows what the rest of us are going through, on a year-in-year-out, day-to-day, hour-by-hour, moment-to-moment, basis, except in the most general sense. And that's okay. But we have to wonder whether everyone else is dealing with the same kinds of issues, such as anxiety over aging, sickness, and death, those personal dimensions of dukkha that Buddha taught we all face. Anxiety stems from the unsatisfactory nature of living in the face of impermanence, imperfection, and insubstantiality, universal aspects of the koan of existence. Are you feeling the angst? Can you remember when it first dawned on you that this life — which seems so substantial, so perfect in so many ways, and that we once took to be permanent — is insidiously deceptive in that regard? That the causes and conditions of it are not part of what you bargained for, opting into birth? Assuming you had any choice in the matter. Few of us would credit a claim of any real intentionality on our part that preceded birth. But in fact Buddha does, explicitly — or at least implicitly — in his explication of the Twelvefold Chain of Interdependent Origination. It is his model of how things got to be the way they are — including, most crucially, our own presence in this world of sentient being. According to this cogent analysis, we come into being owing to our very desire to exist — the desire for knowing, or consciousness itself. Considered dispassionately, how could there be any simpler explanation for life? Upholders of theism would have us believe that there is a separate intent to life, an intelligent "designer" operating behind the scenes, as author and director of its creation. The adherents of deism hold that the creator god is not directly involved, but simply got the ball rolling, perhaps by means of the Big Bang. Atheists deny outright any possibility of such disembodied intent, and agnostics try to walk the tightrope between belief and disbelief, according reality to the limitations of their senses and intellectual understanding. No woo-woo, in other words. Most religious thinkers are resistant to the idea that we are simply a fluke of some kind, the result of a secular-reductionist chain of events beginning with material elements combining physically in a random process; yielding organic chemistry; leading to one-celled organisms; finally culminating in human beings, the absolute apex of evolution, or God's greatest creation. In our human opinion, anyway. Most rationalist thinkers would probably push back on the equally simplistic notion that some creator god is to be given credit, or to be blamed, for our being here, and its corollary, that we have to pass the test of Her intent. On the one hand, this doctrine conveniently relieves us of the burden of accepting responsibility for our own existence; on the other, it tasks us with noodling out exactly what that intent might prescribe for the behaviors and attitude adjustments necessary to pass muster. One logical consequence of this notion is that we assume that our reward will be in heaven, if anywhere, but certainly not on this earth. But we cannot escape or postpone the inevitable onset or aging, sickness and death, simply because we hold to a belief, however compelling. Unless you believe in a scientific possibility of eternal life as suggested by sci-fi speculations such as technologically-enhanced consciousness, uploaded to digital hardware and/or downloaded to new bodies, or the same old carcass rejiggered with endlessly replaceable parts, grown in tanks from genetic sources. With apologies for that discursive ramble into weirder pastures, let us return to the focus of Zen on the present reality of the moment, devoid of any beliefs — religious, scientific or fantastical — that we may tend to turn to for comfort. The Heart Sutra of Buddhist liturgy — a central, condensed summary of Buddha's teaching chanted on a frequent basis in Zen centers, temples and monasteries around the world — takes us through a long litany of what might appear to the uninitiated to be a thoroughgoing denial of reality as we know it. Testimony as to what the iconic "Bodhisattva of Compassion" (Skt. Avalokiteshvara; Ch. Quanyin; J. Kannon) realized through meditation begins with the cryptic statement that s/he "clearly saw that all five aggregates are empty and thus relieved all suffering." Remember that this model of the "five aggregates" (Skt. skandhas) represented the best science of the times as to what, precisely, sentient existence consists of, in its ultimate finality. Today we would paint a much more complex picture, but Buddha had to work with the sum total of information available at the time. Then he goes on to reduce all of reality to one fundamental dyad, which, like all dual pairs, cannot be separated: Form does not differ from emptiness, emptiness does not differ from form; form itself is emptiness,emptiness itself form; sensations, perceptions, formations, and consciousness are also like this. Form, or appearance (Skt. rupa), constitutes our normal cognizance of the material world, with its near-infinite variations — the "myriad things," or "ten-thousand things" — and the names we give to them (Skt. nama), taken together as "name and form" (Skt. namarupa), "the one and the many," for short. This would be roughly equivalent to current terms such as phenomena and noumenon: particular things, and unitary sameness as their essence. This is a thread running through Zen teachings, indicating the nonduality of duality, or the "Harmony of Difference and Equality," as the famous Ch'an poem, "Sandokai," would have it. In our modern idiom, we would speak of the interchangeability of matter and energy. The other four skandhas — Sensation, Perception, Impulse, and Consciousness itself — are similarly subject to deconstruction, though their position on the spectrum of energy and the psychological plane makes for a more convoluted analysis. Suffice it to say that the prefatory phrase, "given Emptiness" (Skt. sunyatta) indicates that all five are not what they seem to be, just as solid, liquid or gaseous matter is permeated with space, as we know today. The monolog then goes on to negate all of the familiar dimensions of consciousness, including the Six Senses or realms (Skt. dhatus) of the Buddhist model of awareness: Therefore given emptiness there is no form; no sensation; no perception;no formation; no consciousness — no eyes; no ears; no nose; no tongue; no body; no mind — no sight; no sound; no smell; no taste; no touch; no object of mind; no realm of sight; no realm of mind-consciousness. That last, the non-reality of "mind-consciousness" itself, indicates that the various findings, conclusions, and recommendations for practice, as well as all broader implications of insight into reality deriving from it, must also be set aside: There is neither ignorance nor extinction of ignorance; neither old age and death nor extinction of old age and death; no suffering; no cause; no cessation; no Path; no knowledge; and no attainment. So where, we might be forgiven for asking, does that leave us? According to Zen, right back where we started. Nothing has changed; nothing that is not already real and true can be revealed by our meditation. Sitting still enough, upright enough, and long enough will simply allow us to see the delusionary aspect of our own interpretation of our own consciousness. "Until we come to no consciousness also," as the first translation that we recited at the Zen Buddhist Temple of Chicago expressed it. Let that percolate for a moment. If indeed Buddha, or Avalokiteshvara, or any one else, can come to a state of "no consciousness" — and come back from it, alive and well — what are we to make of that? This ultimate finality is what I like to call the "singularity of consciousness" —"That of which there is no whicher," as Alan Watts, my brother's favorite commentator on all things Zen, put it. The AI summary leading off the search results (which may be the go-to virtual Zen master, or "buddha of the future," otherwise known as Maitreya) paraphrased: to describe something beyond comparison, an ultimate reality or absolute that cannot be measured or ranked against anything else Which is eerily similar to a concluding section of the longest Ch'an poem in Soto liturgy, the Hsinhsinming—Trust in Mind: No comparisons or analogies are possible in this causeless, relation-less state; take motion in stillness and stillness in motion; both movement and stillness disappear; to this ultimate finality no law or description applies. So there you have it. All things are like this, to cadge another repeat Dogenism. Let me close with best wishes for a happy new year; a happy new month; week, and/or day; happy morning, afternoon and evening; a happy hour or half; a happy minute, second, or moment. They are all equally empty. As the same poem reminds us in closing: The Way is beyond language for in it there is no yesterday no tomorrow no today.

In this episode of The Grit Show, Shawna Rodrigues uncovers the secrets behind why we succeed—or fail—to meet expectations. Featuring Gretchen Rubin's acclaimed personality framework, Shawna touches on the characteristics of Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels - focusing on Upholders and Questioners to open this conversation. She shares intriguing personal experiences, like how her questioning nature affects her work and offers examples of the Upholders in her life, such as her partner, responding to clear expectations. Perfect for anyone seeking to understand their own behavior, improve their relationships, and better understand what it takes to motivate ourselves and others - this episode is packed with eye-opening insights. Join us for a thought-provoking exploration into the way we handle life's demands and how understanding our tendencies can empower us.Make sure you are following or subscribed to this podcast to hear the conclusion of this conversation and more on Rebels and Obligers.Take Gretchen Rubin's quiz on the Four TendenciesOther episodes referenced: Delay Don't Deny & Fast Feast Repeat with NYT Bestselling Author Gin Stephens -31Send Shawna an email with your questions and thoughts for the next episode: connect@thegritshow.comShawna Rodrigues left her award-winning career in the public sector in 2019 and after launching The Grit Show, soon learned the abysmal fact that women hosted only 27% of podcasts. This led to the founding of the Authentic Connections Podcast Network intent on raising that number by 10% in five years- 37 by 27. Because really, shouldn't it be closer to 50%? She is the Director of Impact for the network, which offers full-service support for podcasting from mentoring to production. In September 2023 they are also launching the EPAC (Entrepreneurs and Podcasters Authentically Connected) community for those in early stages and wanting a place for weekly connection. She still finds a little time for her pursuits as a best-selling author and shares the hosting of Author Express, a podcast that features the voice behind the pages of your favorite book. Find her on Instagram- @ShawnaPodcasts and learn more about the network and other happenings at https://linktr.ee/37by27.Stay Connected to The Grit ShowFollow us on Instagram: @The.Grit.ShowGrab your copy of our Self-Care Coloring Pages & as a bonus, you'll get weekly email reminders when episodes come out!https://ColoringPages.TheGritShow.comYou can also purchase the full-size gift worthy Color of Grit Adult Coloring Book here bit.ly/TGSMermaidReally love us and want to show it??Give us a review on your favorite platform and share this (or any) episode with afriend. Word of mouth builds podcasts - we appreciate your support!!...

In her book The Four Tendencies, author and podcaster Gretchen Rubin outlines her personality framework based upon how you respond to internal and external expectations. Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels approach decluttering and organizing differently, which Rubin outlines briefly in her book Outer Order, Inner Calm. Today I dive a bit more into Rubin's four tendencies and provide some additional recommendations on how to create a personalzed decluttering plan based upon your type! Resources Mentioned (affiliate links may be included): Four Tendencies Quiz Outer Order, Inner Calm: Declutter and Organize to Make More Room for Happiness by Gretchen Rubin The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How To Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too) by Gretchen Rubin The Minimalists' Mins Game *2 Year Pod-iversary Review Giveaway! Ends September 30!*

Gretchen Rubin is one of today's most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. We discuss happiness at length in today's conversation, but we also discuss frameworks, and I think you're going to find right off the bat that Gretchen sees things in terms of frameworks, in terms of theory. But she's also known for her ability to convey complex ideas from science, to literature, to stories from her own life, with levity and clarity. So, we bring her into this conversation and we actually bring myself in to today's conversation, and I think that will make it really come to life. She's a writer, and she's going to articulate how much she loves writing and how big of an impact writing has made on her life and how she sees the world. She's the author of many bestselling books, such as The Happiness Project, Better than Before, and The Four Tendencies, which has sold millions of copies in more than 30 languages. Her most recent book, which we reference in today's conversation, is Life in 5 Senses. She's also the host of the popular podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin and the founder of the award-winning “Happier” app, which helps people track their happiness-boosting habits. She's been interviewed by Oprah, she's spent time with Daniel Kahneman, she's walked arm-in-arm with the Dalai Lama, and her work has been reported on in a medical journal (which eventually got written up in The New Yorker). So, she's been in all kinds of interesting spaces; she's also been an answer on Jeopardy, which is a claim to fame for her. I think this conversation will give you a sense of yourself, which is what I really appreciate about it; it'll make you think about yourself and hopefully make you a little more aware of how you show up for you and for others. Gretchen had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include: “If we want to make our lives happier, healthier, more productive, more creative, one of the things we need to figure out is how to make habits” (6:00). “Depending on whether we meet or resist outer and inner expectations, that's what makes us an upholder, a questioner, an obliger, or a rebel” (7:50). “Upholders are people who readily meet both outer and inner expectations” (8:00). “Questioners question all expectations; they'll do something if they think it makes sense” (10:25). “Obliger is the biggest tendency, for both men and women” (16:00). “Obligers are people who readily meet outer accountability, but they struggle to meet inner accountability” (16:10). “If you want to meet an inner expectation as an obliger, you need to create a system of outer accountability” (16:25). “The way to keep a promise to yourself is to make a promise to someone else” (16:55). “Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike” (17:35). “From the practical comes the transcendent” (19:55). “My behavior follows from my identity” (22:10). “Allow rebel children to face the consequences of their actions; that is how a rebel learns” (23:20). “Sometimes these little adjustments in communication can have massive consequences in behavior” (25:05). “Once you understand the mechanism of what's going on, it's a lot easier to address it” (28:10). “For many people, there's a sense that they kind of neglect” (30:50). “Whatever you want to achieve in your life, even if they're contradictory, the five senses can help you” (35:50). “I really get tremendous satisfaction out of just being able to explore ideas in all these different ways and exercise my creativity in a lot of different ways” (40:40). “We want to accept ourselves and also expect more from ourselves” (44:25). “I think the word motivation is very complicated” (46:25). “You can't expect to be motivated by motivation” (47:30). “I never define happiness” (1:04:45). “We all can decide for ourselves what it means to be happy” (1:05:00). “Negative emotions have a very important part to play” (1:06:05). “If you get interested in something, really try to become a minor expert” (1:15:30). “The more you know, the more questions you have” (1:16:05). Additionally, you can find everything you need to know about Gretchen and connect with her on her website, as well as following her on all social media platforms @GretchenRubin. I'd also highly encourage you to check out Gretchen's podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, wherever you consume your podcasts. Thank you so much to Gretchen for coming on the podcast! I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers. Thanks for listening.

Send us a Text Message.In this episode, Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford discuss Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies quiz, which explores how individuals respond to expectations. They break down each of the four tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Upholders readily meet both outer and inner expectations, while Questioners resist outer expectations and meet inner expectations. Obligers meet outer expectations but struggle with inner expectations, relying on external accountability. Rebels resist all expectations, valuing freedom and choice. The hosts discuss the strengths and weaknesses of each tendency and share personal anecdotes. In this conversation, Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford discuss the four tendencies framework and how it can help individuals understand themselves and work better with others. They explore each of the four tendencies (upholder, questioner, obliger, and rebel) and share personal anecdotes and insights. They also discuss the importance of knowing your team's tendencies and adapting your communication and management style accordingly. The conversation emphasizes the value of self-awareness and intentional work environments.Order Traveling Light wherever you get your books!Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram.Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at podcast@bfreakingawesome.com.

Claim your complimentary gift of my exclusive mini weight care guide today!Link: Weight Care Guide — Dr. Francavilla Show (thedrfrancavillashow.com)Ever wonder why some people breeze through their to-do lists while others struggle to get anything done?In today's episode, we'll explore how understanding personality types, as outlined by Gretchen Rubin in The Four Tendencies, can potentially help you manage your weight—or help others manage theirs. These insights into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels can provide valuable strategies tailored to your or someone else's unique approach to goals and expectations, offering new ways to stay motivated and achieve success in health and fitness goals.Rubin's framework categorizes people into four personality types:Upholders: They readily meet both inner and outer expectations, making them proficient at sticking to plans and goals, including those related to weight management.Questioners: They meet inner expectations but question outer ones. For weight management, they need reasons and justifications for their health choices.Obligers: They meet outer expectations but struggle with inner ones. They may excel with external accountability, making them responsive to support and encouragement in weight management efforts.Rebels: They resist both inner and outer expectations and thrive on spontaneity and freedom. For weight management, they may benefit from non-traditional, flexible approaches.By identifying your or someone else's tendency, you can tailor strategies to maximize motivation and overcome challenges in achieving health goals. Understanding these dynamics can make a significant difference in how effectively you approach weight management and overall well-being. Ready to dive deeper? Listen to the full episode for further insights!Visit Gretchen Rubin's website to explore her Four Tendencies framework: Gretchen Rubin - https://gretchenrubin.com/four-tendencies/Connect with me:Instagram: doctorfrancavillaFacebook: Help Your Patients Lose Weight with Dr. FrancavillaWebsite: Dr. Francavilla ShowYoutube: The Doctor Francavilla ShowGLP Strong: glpstrong.com

Episode #96: I have been a Gretchen Rubin fan since 2009 when I read The Happiness Project the week it came out. Who could resist that cover and concept? And I cannot believe this, but I got to discuss my favorite topic, friendship, with Gretchen Rubin on Dear Nina. In celebration of Gretchen's paperback release of Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World. I am replaying our episode from about a year ago. I found my favorite parts of the episode and put it together.  We covered:The art of listening for what is being said and what is not being said in conversations with friends.The sound, sight, and touch of mixtapes plus our attempt to hatch a new business idea. The sound and touch of mahjongThe joy of tasting partiesThe nostalgia inherent in taste or even discussing foods we used to eat with friendsThe distracting sight of friends checking their phones and watchesThe sight of friends' faces and the emotions we read on their facesMaking plans to see sights with friends and the memories createdHugging friends! (I've gotten better at this since we first spoke.)And we took a quick dip into The Four Tendencies for me to share my husband being the Upholder of all Upholders.Take the "most neglected sense" quiz here.  Meet Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is one of today's most influential observers of happiness and human nature. She's the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers Life in Five Senses, Outer Order, Inner Calm; The Four Tendencies; Better Than Before; and The Happiness Project. Her books have sold more than 3.5 million copies worldwide, in more than thirty languages. She hosts the top-ranking, award-winning podcast “Happier with Gretchen Rubin,” where she explores practical solutions for living a happier life. Raised in Kansas City, she lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters. You can find everything you need at gretchenrubin.com. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

It is time. We've been threatening it for a year, so let's get down and dirty with the City of London livery companies! I know, I know, it's hard to contain your excitement. Fiona gets into an A-Z of livery companies, everything you never knew you wanted to know, and we find out why the loving cup is a thing, whether the Upholders really make bras, and why oh why is a demi-virgin so named. All the chat with all* the stats *some of the stats, most of it inaccurate. WELCOME! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Greetings Recapsters! For this episode, we discuss Gretchin Rubin's book, The Four Tendencies, where she discusses how people respond to inner (stop nagging) and outer (traffic laws) expectations. She also wrote Better than Before to help us discover why some people can form habits more easily than others.How do we change? Habits are the invisible architecture of our lives. 40% of our daily behaviors are repeated, why not harness this information to gain self-knowledge that will help us adopt habits successfully? 41% of the population are Obligers. “You can count on me and I'm counting on you to count on me.” They are motivated by external expectations and struggle with inner expectations and with saying no. 24% of the people fall into the Questioner category. “I will comply if you convince me why.” They are motivated by clarity, reason, logic and fairness. They can have bouts of analysis paralysis. 19% of folks are Upholders. These are the people that respond readily to inner and outer expectations. Discipline is their freedom. 17% fall into the Rebel category. “You can't make me, and neither can I.” This group places a high value on authenticity and acts best when you give them the information and let them make a choice. Our tendencies color the way we see the world. If you want to take the short quiz to discover your tendency click here. Thank you for joining us on our quest to read the best! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recapbookchat/message

Hey #AmWriters, Jess here! There's a very specific reason I wanted to re-up this coaching call with Emily Edlynn. I did an interview with AJ Jacobs day before yesterday, but it's not going to drop until May. I love AJ Jacobs, I know you love AJ Jacobs, and I'm really excited for you to hear our interview - but in that interview we talked about writing nonfiction books in less than a year. It is possible to do! We had a coaching call with Emily Edlynn 100 episodes ago and I wanted to re-up it because her book is out. She did it! She completed the task. She knew the assignment. Her book, Autonomy-Supportive Parenting, came out at the end of 2023. So I'm very proud to replay this episode and let you know that the P.S. on that episode was success! I hope you enjoy it.And WAY TO GO, Emily!Our guest on this episode has a problem—a good problem, yes. An enviable problem even. One that she herself is delighted to have: she's sold a non-fiction book on proposal.And now she has to write it. 60,000 words, researched, organized and ready for the editor while also fitting in her day job, raising 3 kids with her partner and all of the other curveballs life likes to throw you.In this “coaching call” episode, Jess and I (it's KJ writing, as it often is) help long-time listener Emily Edlynn figure out how much time to spend in what areas: book structure, research, interviewing, drafting, editing—and then how to set yourself up to allow for getting a major project like this completed on time. (We all know how KJ loves a good burn chart - check out episode 175: #HowtoUseaBurnChart). We talk about motivating yourself, strategies for staying on track or picking back up after the unexpected happens. (You can read Emily's email to us at the bottom of the shownotes.)Most of us spend more time working on short term projects than longer ones, and when we do get involved with something that stretches out for months or years, it's usually with other people and external deadlines, whether it's a major work endeavor, a house remodel or a Ph.D. dissertation. Books—even books with agents and editors—require major solo mojo to get from start to The End—and then revise the result of that. It's yet another of the many many things that aren't easy about writing.But it can be learned, and it can be done.Emily doesn't have any trouble using the time she has to write—but if you do, here are some ideas based on Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies, which are all about knowing how you best meet inner and outer obligations (of which writing a book is weirdly both). Obligors need outer accountability. Set yourself up with a friend or your agent, give them your goals and arrange weekly check-ins. Questioners need reasons, so make that burn chart and put up a full calendar where you can see it and always have an answer for “but do I really need to do this now?” Upholders probably need nothing more than a plan—but make sure your inner upholder understands that this is a priority. Rebels benefit from regular reminders that this is hard, that most people can't do it and that achieving this goal is a rebellion against everything that stands in its way—and many also like a plan that involves beating the clock. Anything that lets a rebel say “I'll show you!” is rebel jet fuel.Gretchen appeared on Episode 107 of the podcast, and you can take her “Four Tendencies” quiz here.Emily's email: I am a psychologist by training who started writing for an audience in 2017 when my career hit a crossroads with a move for my husband's job. My parenting blog led to writing freelance when possible, including a weekly parenting column for Parents since 2019. In April, I signed a contract with a small, independent publisher, Familius, to write a parenting book.The full manuscript is due May 1. I have never felt so lost! I thought there would be more editor interaction over the year, but she basically said "See you in a year unless you need me!" (I have asked more from her, but have realized she is going to give me broad strokes and not much else.) I have scoured all the places for resources on "how to write a nonfiction book" but besides some of your episodes, what I find is either about self-publishing or marketing, not the process of writing a nonfiction book (that's not a memoir).I'm trying to narrow this down to one question, which probably can't be "how do I write a nonfiction book in a year with no structure, in the time I have?" For context, I spend half my working week doing therapy in a private practice and supervising graduate students. I'm also writing a new blog post once a month to keep my newsletter subscribers engaged, and my weekly column. Oh, and did I mention attempting to raise 3 children in the process? I currently clock about 8 hours a week of writing time . . . and then I read relevant books when I can almost daily. I did find a virtual writing group with two other psychologist authors, which has been helpful. Since you probably aren't aiming to answer "how do I write a book in a year?" maybe narrowing it down to, "How do I manage my time with a professional job that pays the bills, little interaction with an editor (this seems different in the fiction world or even the nonfiction Big 5 world), to complete a 60,000-word nonfiction, researched manuscript in a year?"Do you think you can help me??Links from the PodHow to Get an Agent EpisodeEmily's website, www.emilyedlynnphd.com#AmReadingEmily: The Psychology of Money by Morgan HouselWow No Thank You by Samantha IrbyKJ: Becoming Duchess Goldblatt, AnonymousJess: The Secret History by Donna TarttPodcast: Lili Anolik's Once Upon a Time at Bennington CollegeDuring the pandemic, there was an explosion of people who wanted to write memoir, and many of those writers are now struggling to make sense of their drafts and figure out how to approach the marketplace. It's a great time to be a book coach who specializes in memoir, and in March 2024, Author Accelerator is launching a certification course to give memoir coaches the skills, tools, and experience to meet writers where they are.Our year-long program is robust and intense. I'm inviting any listeners of this show who are interested in our coaching program to sign up for a one-on-one session with me to strategize about whether or not this course is right for you. Just go to bookcoaches.com/amwriting to sign up for a time that works for you. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

Knowing the facts/data about yourself and your personality can help you effectively habit hack your health. This is the first step of my HABIT HACKING SYSTEM inside of the HEALTHY HABITS ACCELERATOR. I have each client take The 4 Tendencies Quiz.  The 4 Tendencies is a personality framework developed by Gretchen Rubin, outlined in her book "The Four Tendencies." This framework categorizes people into four main tendencies based on how they respond to inner and outer expectations. Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels.  We'll break down each tendency and provide habit loops for each to ensure your healthy habits will stick! *** HABIT HACKS: -Get the FREE HEALTHY HABIT RESET MASTERCLASS! -Access the secret podcast ATOMIC HABITS FOR WOMEN -Get my most popular tracker from the shop, the ULTIMATE HABIT TRACKER! -Access my signature program, the HEALTHY HABITS ACCELERATOR -CHECK OUT THE FREEBIE VAULT!: Access habit tools, self care checklist, ingredient meal tips, free workouts and more!    LET'S CONNECT: Connect with Emily: @emilynichols22@habithackshop.co www.emily-nichols.com   

Today on The Mindvalley Show, embark on a journey of self-discovery with acclaimed writer Gretchen Rubin as she unravels the enigmatic world of The Four Tendencies. Renowned for her ability to distill complex ideas into relatable wisdom, Rubin introduces the intriguing personalities that shape our responses to expectations. Her bestselling book "The Four Tendencies" delves into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels—distinct types that impact how we navigate life's demands. In this episode, Rubin exposes the strengths and challenges of each tendency. Whether you're an Upholder who readily meets inner and outer expectations, a Questioner who seeks rationality, an Obliger who thrives under external accountability, or a Rebel who defies convention, understanding your tendency can revolutionize your growth journey. Tune in to gain insights into effective communication and leadership strategies tailored to these tendencies, empowering you to navigate relationships and professional endeavors with newfound clarity. Discover your tendency, leverage it for growth, and gain valuable insights into effective interaction and leadership. Tune in now and embark on a transformative exploration that will reshape your perception of yourself and others. Key takeaways: [01:19] The Four Tendencies: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel [02:59] How your tendency affects your behavior [03:44] Upholder tendency: meets both outer and inner expectations [05:14] Questioner tendency: questions all expectations and needs reasons [7:28] Obliger tendency: meets outer expectations but struggles with inner expectations [9:30] Rebel tendency: resists both outer and inner expectations [11:52] How to communicate and lead different personality types [15:30] The concept of Obliger Rebellion [17:54] The unique strength of The Rebel Where to find our guest: GretchenRubin.com Memorable Quotes: "There's no right, there's no wrong. It's just whatever works for you." [2:45] -Gretchen Rubin "There's enormous power in the rebel tendency. They tend to be great entrepreneurs because then they're making the rules and doing things their own way." [18:31] -Gretchen Ruben To stay connected and to learn more about Vishen and Mindvalley, click on the links below:  Website: Mindvalley.com YouTube: @vishenlakhiani Instagram: @mindvalley Instagram: @vishen Facebook: @mindvalley   Subscribe to 'Mindvalley Membership' to discover 65+ transformational Mindvalley programs – at a surprisingly low annual fee here

Today on The Mindvalley Show, embark on a journey of self-discovery with acclaimed writer Gretchen Rubin as she unravels the enigmatic world of The Four Tendencies. Renowned for her ability to distill complex ideas into relatable wisdom, Rubin introduces the intriguing personalities that shape our responses to expectations. Her bestselling book "The Four Tendencies" delves into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels—distinct types that impact how we navigate life's demands. In this episode, Rubin exposes the strengths and challenges of each tendency. Whether you're an Upholder who readily meets inner and outer expectations, a Questioner who seeks rationality, an Obliger who thrives under external accountability, or a Rebel who defies convention, understanding your tendency can revolutionize your growth journey. Tune in to gain insights into effective communication and leadership strategies tailored to these tendencies, empowering you to navigate relationships and professional endeavors with newfound clarity. Discover your tendency, leverage it for growth, and gain valuable insights into effective interaction and leadership. Tune in now and embark on a transformative exploration that will reshape your perception of yourself and others.   Key takeaways: [01:19] The Four Tendencies: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel [02:59] How your tendency  affects your behavior [03:44] Upholder tendency: meets both outer and inner expectations [05:14] Questioner tendency: questions all expectations and needs reasons [7:28] Obliger tendency: meets outer expectations but struggles with inner expectations [9:30] Rebel tendency: resists both outer and inner expectations [11:52] How to communicate and lead different personality types [15:30] The concept of Obliger Rebellion [17:54] The unique strength of The Rebel   Where to find our guest: GretchenRubin.com   Memorable Quotes: "There's no right, there's no wrong. It's just whatever works for you." [2:45] -Gretchen Rubin "There's enormous power in the rebel tendency. They tend to be great entrepreneurs because then they're making the rules and doing things their own way." [18:31] -Gretchen Ruben   To stay connected and to learn more about Vishen and Mindvalley, click on the links below:  Website: Mindvalley.com YouTube: @vishenlakhiani Instagram: @mindvalley Instagram: @vishen Facebook: @mindvalley   Subscribe to 'Mindvalley Membership' to discover 65+ transformational Mindvalley programs – at a surprisingly low annual fee here

Do you accomplish those monthly reports with no problem while keeping up with your daily exercise routine and even tracking it?  Are you that person that determines to write a book or accomplish a new goal, and you make it happen? Do people secretly envy your ability to keep a routine?  We've been talking about the Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin. So far, we've learned about the Obliger and the Rebel. Today, in part 4, it's time to talk–Upholder—those people who get all the expectations. Today is for you if… If you find yourself making your rules tighter and tighter. If you're close to an Upholder and get your feelings hurt when they choose themselves over you…like all the time. If you're an Upholder ready to let loose and enjoy life a little. Oh, Upholder, how we envy you…That new client proposal–done! Exercise consistently every day while tracking all your food–check! How do Upholders meet inner and outer expectations?  The Upholder meets both inner and outer expectations with little fuss. They're self-direct, and they keep their promises. These kids wake up on their own, make their bed, get ready for school on their own, and do their homework without continual reminders.  1. Upholders Embrace Routine  Upholders may struggle to adjust their schedule suddenly and can sometimes appear ridge or judgmental.  It may be hard for them to understand why everyone can't “get it done” like they can without drama or struggle. Understand everyone is not an Upholder, and that's okay. Allow for differences in people, situations and opinions. 2. Upholders Are Prone To Tightening Most tendencies will start an expectation strong and then weaken over time.  Upholders, on the other hand, can experience “tightening.”  Once you start an expectation, you can't let it go. You might even continue making your “rules” more stringent. “It's on my to-do list and now it's never coming off.” Here's an example of “tightening:”  Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Four Tendencies, is an Upholder. She's chosen a low-carb lifestyle. She said when she started this routine, she was not very strict. But, over time, she has “tightened” her regimen and is now very strict with it. Allow yourself some wiggle room. Not all of life is lived in Black & White, all or nothing. And that's okay. Ask yourself questions to be sure this tightening is necessary for your goals, dreams or health. Then make a conscious choice if you will tighten or loosen your “rule.”  Feel free to let loose and have a little fun. It really won't kill you. 3. Upholders Tend to Commit to Inner Expectations Over External Expectations Upholders can be very committed to meeting inner expectations, even when inconvenient for someone else.  “I know it's your birthday darling, but we can't go out until I go for my 12 mile run for that half marathon I'm running in two weeks.” This makes you seem cold no matter how you intend it to sound. Again, question yourself. Consciously decide whether the external expectation is better than your inner expectation.  If you still choose your inner expectation and it's someone close to you, like a spouse, child or best friend, be sure to give your WHY. It helps people accept your decision.  Knowing your loved one is an Upholder can help you navigate situations that might otherwise bother you. Awareness is half the battle. Knowing you're an Upholder can help you keep from unconsciously tightening up on yourself too much. It can also help you navigate relationships so you don't alienate your loved ones. Homework: If you're an Upholder, how can you keep yourself from “tightening” up on your expectations too much? For the rest of us, knowing a loved one is an Upholder; how can this knowledge help you navigate your relationship better? Thanks a bunch for listening!  You got this, and Father's got you! Until Next Time, Live Fearlessly Free!

How do you meet expectations? Do you find it easy to meet that deadline for that proposal at work but can't ever seem to get the house clean until you've got dinner guests coming? Maybe you get annoyed by expectations like New Year's Resolutions. On the other hand, are you the one we all envy because you always get it done? Or are you thinking, “I don't care what they need me to do, I'm doing my own thing!” Expectations; we all have them. Day in and day out, we're fulfilling whether we created them ourselves or others are counting on us to do something. Today we're starting a series on expectations. Today is for you if… If you struggle to fulfill your God-given purpose but manage to do everything for everyone else. If you desire to understand others better so you can communicate more effectively. If you're ready to find solutions to what's holding you back. For decades I called myself lazy and envied everyone who set and achieved goals. What was wrong with me? I want to introduce you to something that revolutionized Bob and my marriage and parenting. It's called the Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin. As Gretchen studied she saw four patterns of people's tendencies and out of it created the Four Tendencies.  Each tendency has different ways of meeting expectations both internal and external expectations. How we handle expectations is vital for communication and fulfilling our God-given purpose. Let me give you an overview of each tendency, and then over the next four episodes, we'll delve into each one deeper. 1. Obliger Obligers place a high value on meeting other's people expectations. We excel at meeting outer expectations.  When someone counts on an Obliger, we'll get it done. But we're naturally lousy at meeting personal or internal expectations. If you're an Obliger, never fear; I've got a trick up my sleeve that'll help you get those internal expectations done so you can do what God put in your heart to do. 2. Upholder Upholders meet both inner and outer expectations. They're self-direct.  Upholders embrace routine.  But they can struggle if they have to adjust their schedule suddenly.  If they're not self-aware, Upholders can be judgmental because they don't get it when others can't just “get it done” as they do. Upholding is incredible; however, it can cause you to miss out on the beauty in spontaneity and joy available in the moment. 3. Questioner Questioners need more information before deciding whether to meet an expectation.  They place a high value on research, reason, and efficiency.  They can suffer from “analysis of paralysis.”  Questioning is excellent, but there are many times you can miss out on what God has for you because you have waited too long with all your questioning. 4. Rebel Then we have the Rebel.  Rebels place a high value on freedom, choice, and self-expression.  These are the people who resist being told what to do.  Rebels fight back with repetitive tasks, schedules, and routines.  Life has to be on the Rebel's terms in their timing. But if you're a rebel, it can stop you from fully stepping into Father's call on your life and cause severe rifts between those you love. If you're willing to grow through your rebellious tendency, you can get what you want in life. The 4 Tendencies are designed to show you the box you put yourself in and help you better understand yourself and your needs. And help you communicate more effectively with different tendencies. It's kind of like learning to speak another person's language. Are you curious now about which tendency you might be? Click the link to take the quiz. https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/ Over the next four episodes, we'll dig into each tendency and how you can use your tendency to your advantage and how to use the tendencies to communicate more effectively with others. Thanks a bunch for listening!  You got this, and Father's got you! Until Next Time, Live Fearlessly Free!

There was only one real option for a guest to kick off 2023. Gretchen Rubin is an author, podcaster, speaker, and an investigator of unexpected truths. Do you have a hard time sticking to your resolutions? Gretchen lays out concrete and informative ideas to think about the next time you need to hold yourself—or your kids—accountable. Plus, we find out if Dave and Jon are Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, or Rebels. (No, those aren't new houses in Hogwarts.) Thanks to our sponsors! Methodical Coffee - Visit methodicalcoffee.com for more information and use the discount code dadville for 10 percent off your first order.

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This week on the podcast, I'm sharing a very special SNEAK PREVIEW (part 2) of this month's mindset class: MOTIVATION MAGIC. In this class, you'll learn:⁠ ❓ Are you an Obliger, Questioner, Upholder, or Rebel? ⁠ Knowing the answer can MAGICALLY TRANSFORM your weight loss journey!

In honor of our upcoming IO2022 innovation Accelerated Summit, which is happening September 19th and 20th in Lincoln Nebraska. Thought it'd be nice to pull some of the best interviews and sessions from our IO2020 virtual event. So, over the next few weeks, check out some of our amazing speakers and grab a ticket for the upcoming event. We'd love to see you there. Tickets and more information can be found at io2022.com. And now back to the show. Inside Outside Innovation is a podcast to help new innovators navigate what's next. Each week, we'll give you a front row seat into what it takes to learn, grow, and thrive in today's world of accelerating change and uncertainty. Join us as we explore, engage, and experiment with the best and the brightest innovators, entrepreneurs, and pioneering businesses. It's time to get started.Interview Transcript with Steph Smith, Trends.co / The Hustle / HubspotBrian Ardinger: We are excited to have Steph Smith here with the Hustle and Trends to talk about one of these amazing new trends that we're seeing. It's the whole move to remote work. Steph is the Head of Trends and Product Manager at the Hustle, which is a great newsletter, if you don't subscribe to that. Trends is their exclusive group. And I I've got to say it's, it's one of the best groups out there to talk about new things that are happening out there, new business leaders, things along those lines. She's got a new book out called Standing Out in 2020. Doing Content Right. And I know she's been doing a series of sessions on that. It's an eBook. You can check it out at stephsmith.io. She's been blogging for a ton of time. And she's also been in this world of remote work. Been a digital nomad for a while. So, with that, I'm going to just turn over to Steph. And we'll talk the trend of remote working. Steph Smith: Sweet. Thanks so much. That was a great intro, Brian. Today, I'm going to be talking about something that I care a lot about. I saw some other people in the chat mention that they've been working remotely for a long time. Two, I'm going to be talking about thinking past the office and designing what I call resilient, remote teams. And I do this in a little bit of a different way than I think most presentations on this topic are, which give you a lot of super, super concrete, like you must do this. I like to think of this more so as how do we think about what has changed? What does that mean? And what can we learn from this? So, I use three books and I'll get into that in a second to actually convey some of these points. But just quickly, I don't want to talk about myself very much. Brian gave me a great intro. All you need to know is that I have been working remotely for the last four or five years now. And I did that originally at a company called Top Tell, which was one of those kind of remote first companies built from the ground up to be remote. Now I work at a company called The Hustle and I've done some remote training for different companies. And in general, have been nomadding around for the last couple years as I work remotely. So that's enough about me. Let's talk about where we are in this world. As I mentioned before COVID there was a series of companies I'd say only a couple dozen of scale that were built up to be remote. From the ground up, they said, you know what, we're never going to have any offices. Or if we do, we're going to be remote first. Companies like Zapier Basecamp, Web Flow. All these companies were built from the ground up to facilitate positive remote working environment. Now, as we all know, you saw this kind of trend, the slow trickle of people that were searching for remote work overtime. This is Google trends from 2004 to present. Then as we all know, 2020. crazy year. We see this big spike and we're all remote, whether we want to be or not. And this includes huge companies like Google, Cora, Coinbase. Shopify that at least are either going to be remote for several, several years or in some cases like Shopify have just claimed that they are now remote first from here forward. The question then becomes with all of these companies with now millions, if not billions of people that are kind of thrown into this new environment, what happens. What happens to these organizations that weren't built from the ground up? Like Zapier, Base Camp, or Buffer. Some of the questions that I have here, allude to what I'll be talking about in this presentation. So how does remote work or the shift influence how people interact with one another? How does it influence the social fabric or culture of the company? How does this change how potentially leaders should or can operate at these organizations?And in general, this all brings me back to the title of this presentation. How do we build resilient teams? And resiliency in this case means teams that thrive in the environment that they're put in, right. It doesn't feel like they're kind of pushing against walls. It doesn't feel like there's friction to achieve certain things.It feels like they're put in an environment where they're put in a place to succeed by nature, by the nature of the environment that they're in. So, as I said, this presentation is really based on three books that I've read and, and I think are excellent. It's Give and Take, Algorithms to Live By and The Four Tendencies.And I like using books like this to really frame these conversations because these books are actually not based on remote work at all. They're based on human psychology. They're based on how people interact in given situations or environments. And then I just layer on a question. Is this still true with remote work or how does this change as people go from an in-person environment to remote. And so, we'll talk specifically about how giving and taking behavior may change with remote work. We'll talk about how we can design systems. So, using something From Algorithms to Live By, Game Theory. How do we incentivize people to actually act in their best interest? Because they don't always do that on their own. And how do we in general make remote work sustainable. And then I'll talk about the potential archetype of remote worker using this four tendencies framework. To preface the three books and the three things that we'll talk about, I want to jump back to summarize where we are.So, we as a society had a majority of people working in offices. And now we have a majority of people working remotely. And I like to kind of facetiously say that when you work in an office, you work in a box. And that box is predefined for you. And even though it's a little facetious in terms of the analogy, a lot of that is true in the sense that you have a lot of things, whether it's, you know, where you're physically working, how you're working exactly, when you're working. A lot of that is super predefined for you. And for some people that's actually better. Some people that's worse. I'm not trying to ascertain whether one is better or worse, but the idea is that before you had a lot of things mapped out for you, right? And now when you're working remotely, the way, the analogy that I like to give is that box is kind of like stripped clean.So, you get rid of the walls, you get rid of exactly when, how you work. And now a lot of people are left to figure out how to build their own box. And what I see a lot of people doing, whether it's individuals or companies is they basically do this Control C Control V where they basically say, you know, we had all these things, these processes, these systems, these frameworks that worked in our office. So, let's just take all those and let's paste them into our new environment. And that can work. But what I think we have a unique opportunity to do is in fact, rethink the box. So, build our new box from the ground up. So instead of just copying everything and saying, oh, this worked there. It should work here. Let's just rethink what are the things that we should operate by in this new environment? How do we rebuild our box? And something more important than that is instead of giving our employees a new box saying, hey, this is your box. Please take it. And again, abide by these rules or operations or logistics. Let's actually just give them the tools to build their own box. And this kind of summarizes part of what I'm, I'm getting to at least to preface three examples is, is a quote from Amir. Who's a CEO of Doist one of those kind of remote first and companies. And he says, basically, remote. Isn't just a different way to work. It's a different way to live. We have to acknowledge that we're kind of blurring these lines and people, you know, experience isolation, anxiety, depression. And in general, we need to figure out ways in systems to resolve this new, almost more complex issue where you have people, people's work and their lives just meshing into this continuous system.All right. So, what are the cornerstones of remote work? I mentioned this because this bleeds into some of the examples. So remote work overall, at least prior to COVID, when people weren't forced into it, really prioritized three things over three other things. Meaning output trumped input, which meant that didn't matter exactly how many hours you were working or exactly what you did to get to the impact that you're driving for a company.What mattered was the impact, the output. Similarly, remote work tended to favor autonomy over administration. Again, this idea that didn't matter exactly how you got from Point A to Point B. You had the autonomy to figure that out. And similarly, flexibility over rigidity. So, let's keep these cornerstones in mind throughout the presentation. And consider that even those cornerstones sound kind of resoundingly positive, all of us at face value are like, yes, I love being graded on my output. I love being graded or given the autonomy to figure out how I deliver that output. And I love being given flexibility. But let's just keep those in mind and consider that they're not always strictly positive. All right, so let's dive into the first example in the book, Give and Take. Obviously, these books are very in depth and I only covered one small sliver of them in this presentation. But the key takeaway from Give and Take is that Adam Grant, he's a professor at Wharton, amazing writer as well. He talks about three different types of individuals. So, Givers, Takers, and Matchers. All you need to know about them for the purpose of this presentation is that givers basically believe in this world as a positive sum game. Meaning they believe in mutually beneficial situations. They're willing to give without expecting anything in return. Takers are kind of the opposite of that. They think zero sum game. I'm sure you can imagine or conceptualize people in your life that you've encountered that really are trying to get ahead at the expense of other people.Now matchers fall somewhere in the middle. They basically believe, or kind of function off of this idea of reciprocity and fairness. All right. So with that in mind, the question or sorry, before I even get to the question, something I want to mention is that the whole premise of Adam Grant's book is a little surprising in that most people would expect that given Takers and Matchers and Takers in particular, their approach to life in terms of kind of utilizing other people to get ahead or prioritizing their own growth over other people, you would expect those people to be the most successful.Now, interestingly enough, he found that Givers were both at the very top of the spectrum of success, and the very bottom. You can notice two different types of Givers here. One is selfless. One is, is otherish. All you need to know here is that Otherish Givers are Givers but have found a way to prioritize their own needs.So really interesting that Givers not only elevate other people, but they are actually the most successful on their own. So, this is kind of a summary or a quote from Adams, which basically says they succeed in a way that creates a ripple effect, enhancing the success of others around them. You'll see that the difference lies in how Giver success creates value instead of just claiming it.So, in general, I think the obvious takeaway here is that we want more Givers at our organizations. Now the question becomes, and this will be a repetitive question throughout, is this the same with remote work. Or how does this change with remote work? Some of the sections here are based on actual data sources.This one, not so much. This is me more hypothesizing. And what I've come to in terms of my many years leading teams, interacting with teams, being individual contributors on teams is that because if we remember the cornerstones of remote work, we prioritize output. We prioritize impact. That which in remote, all that matters is that impact, right?Are you delivering value? Are you worth your salary? Are you hitting your KPIs. In person when you're in an office? All that stuff matters. But it's also weighed against certain unspoken things, unspoken rules, like the amount of time you're spending in the office. Whether you're on time for things, whether you stay late to help another employee in general, everyone knows who the team players are in an office.That's not always true when you work remotely. I think if you've worked remotely over the last couple months, especially if you were in an office before, you can probably resonate with this idea. In remote, there's a couple thing, other things that I want to know. This idea of staying on longer to, you know, as a Giver, let's say you're helping other people.That's super difficult to quantify because when you're working remotely again, our work life and our lifeline blend together. So, it's actually hard, if I were to ask anyone on this call, how many hours did you spend this week working remotely? I think a lot of people would struggle to actually quantify that.So then layering on, am I working extra? Am I not working enough? It's really hard to kind of parse that out. Additionally, if you support someone. Let's say I have a friend and her name is Sally at work. And she says, Hey Steph, can you help me with this project? And it actually takes like, you know, five hours out of my day.I end up helping her. All of that work for better or for worse is hidden online. Sally knows about it. But everyone else at work, didn't see me stay late to help Sally. They didn't see the output of that work. They didn't see the Giving behavior. And so, in addition to this, KPIs in general, when you work remotely by nature of trying to ascertain that output of people, tends to be more individual. You even hear people use terms like manager of one when they're working remotely.And in general, the idea that I'm trying to get across here is that by nature, when you're working remotely, because there are so much emphasis on output and impact, which has many positives, basically takes away the recognition that you typically get in an in-person environment of these Givers, and what happens is these Givers end up burning out, they become more of those selfless givers that you saw at the tail end. Instead of the Otherish givers that were the most successful individual. And something I want to call out here is that regardless of intentions, morals, or values, and what I'm saying here is it doesn't matter if someone's a good person or bad person. That's not what I'm trying to ascertain. Bad incentive structures result in bad behavior, no matter how good of a person you think you are. So, what's the takeaway here? Again, I'm trying to go through this quickly, so I won't go through everything. But the idea here is that you still won't have a water cooler. In the office, which almost acted like, you know, animals in the wild. There's like a certain hierarchy and there's a kingdom and, and it kind of regulates things, right. You just subtly, but it does. You don't have that anymore with remote, or at least it's not created without intentionality. And so, there are a couple quick things that you can do. The first thing is just ask your team very simply who helped you this week? Who did you work with? Where did you put in extra hours? Where did someone else put in extra hours for you? You must ask this because it will not be surfaced as naturally as in the office. The second thing is build KPIs to incentivize teamwork. This is a little harder to do because again, when you work remotely, you're trying to ascertain output. But think about how you can do this to incentivize teamwork. So, you're not kind of encouraging people to act more as Takers versus Givers. And then finally create an environment where you're not just recognizing good behavior or giving behavior, but you're actually rewarding it.So, some companies like GitLab have actually started things like micro bonuses, where in addition to the bonus structures or the compensation structures that you get from your boss, other people around you can actually reward you based on your giving behavior. Because that's really important. You're not just recognizing it in like kind of shout outs or things like that, but you're actually rewarding this behavior. So, you're incentivizing people to continue doing it. The final thing I want to call out is that you can do as much as you can once you have people at an organization to incentivize giving behavior. But you can also kind of integrate this into your hiring process. Which means bringing in people who are more naturally Givers.So, Adam Grant mentions in his book. This is directly from Give and Take where he, during the hiring process asks this question, can you give me the names of four people whose careers you have fundamentally improved? And the idea here is that people who are Givers tend to mention either people at the same level as them or below them in terms of the people that they've helped.And it's a natural response. Of course, this is again, not quite scientific versus Takers, tend to mention people that are above them. That they've helped, because again, there's this nature of people who are Takers, trying to get ahead and using things like status to get ahead. So, something to keep in mind as well as you're hiring.So, the second example that I want to go through is from Algorithms to Live By. Again, excellent book. This is a book where basically they take principles from software development or software engineering and use it to help us think through problems that are outside of that scope. So, things like Cashing Theory or Kneeling or making intractable problems tractable.The one that I want to talk about today is Game Theory. So, in Game Theory, I'm not going to go into depth, but it's this idea that within a game, there are certain rules. And within those rules, they incentivize people to act a certain way. And once a game is predefined, you tend to get to this equilibrium where all the players individually are acting their own best interest.But sometimes the kind of aggregate of those actions actually may result in outcomes that are worse for everyone. Again, depending on the rules that were set for that game. And this equilibrium that I'm specifically talking about is called the Nash Equilibrium. And it's this idea again, there's this kind of long definition and talks about a stable state.The idea here is the Nash Equilibrium is within an environment within a game. It's the outcome or the optimal state, where there's no incentive for any individual to deviate. Now, this may not sound super actionable. So let me give you a precise example of what I'm talking about. So, with remote work, a lot of remote first companies tend to go with unlimited vacation.And I think this is something that probably more companies will end up moving towards as well. But something you keep in mind here is the Nash Equilibrium of unlimited vacation approaches, zero days. And the reason for this it's a little counterintuitive because you think unlimited vacation sounds amazing. Sounds like a great perk. Well, what happens with unlimited vacation is that people look to be perceived as more loyal, more committed, more dedicated than their peers. And therefore, they look to take just slightly less vacation than their peers. And what happens is a cascading effect, which approaches zero.This is actual data from Buffer's Data Remote Report from 2019, where you can see in blue, the amount of vacation offered, and then in orange, the amount of vacation that was actually taken. So, you can see around 30, 35% of people had unlimited vacation. And if you look at how that's actually distributed, most of the people who had unlimited vacation took anywhere from no vacation to two weeks' vacation. Versus the people who had, you know, six weeks, five weeks, four weeks were likely to actually take that amount of vacation.So, what is my point here? Well, in Game Theory is this idea where basically you have a game and then those rules are set for the game. And then you just see what behaviors actually emerge from those given set of rules. Well, I think with remote work, we have to be a lot more intentional about not just kind of throwing rules out there, again, kind of redefining our box and, and not just taking a box that already exists. And you can do that through Mechanism Design, which is kind of flipping that script and saying, what are the behaviors that we actually want and what rules do we need to establish to actually generate those behaviors? So kind of again, reversing the question and figuring out what behaviors you want to incentivize. And then figuring out what rules need to be in place to actually achieve that.As I mentioned, the box has changed, the game has changed. So, here's a couple examples of things that people struggle with from the same report, when they're working remotely. It's things like unplugging, loneliness, distractions, culture, and communication. If you were to ask the same question to people who are working in an, in an office, these would not be the case, which shows us the game has changed. The problems have changed. The things that we're solving for have changed and therefore you must come up with rules or incentives so that people act in their own best interest. So again, you're thinking backwards. You're asking the question, what are the KPIs that you need to actively design to encourage people to, for example, have a work life balance outside of just the freedom to define their own. And this is really important because it sounds counterintuitive to say a I'm actually going to define more rules. Because flexibility sounds like a great perk or sounds like a great thing to have. But actually, you can help your employees in certain situations to actually help them again, this idea of building their own box.Something I want to call out here is again, is Wall Street, which is again, the most like capitalist type environment there is, has mandatory off hours. So that brokers don't push themselves to their Nash Equilibrium, which would be the sleepless equilibrium, where they're constantly trading. So, you have to think backwards and figure out how to design an environment that people succeed in.Quick couple examples before we move on to the third example. The third book are things like a minimum vacation policy, mandatory days that they must take off, allowing people to take back their calendars and actually block off significant parts so that they're not encountering what people call Calendar Tetris. I like this example from Keith, I don't know Keith personally, and this was pre COVID.But basically, he decided to close his office on Friday. Simple things like this, where he basically said it's a mandatory weekend. You are not allowed to work, even though it seems strange in a digital environment. And I'm giving you 50 bucks to go eat at your favorite restaurant. So, think about how you are intentionally designing systems for your employees.Finally, third example that I'll breeze through is the Four Tendencies. And I'll caveat this example with this quote directly from Gretchen Rubin, the author that says the happiest, healthiest, most productive people aren't those from a particular tendency, but rather the people who have figured out how to harness the strengths of their tendency, counteract the weaknesses, and build lives that work for them.So, what is the Four Tendencies? It's this idea that there as it sounds like four tendencies. Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, and Rebel. Now these two highlighted in green are not highlighted, because they're the best. As Gretchen said in that quote, it's just that they're they are the most common. Now the Four Tendencies is basically a two-by-two framework, which identifies how people respond to expectations or accountability.So, do they readily meet outer expectations? Do they readily meet inner expectations? Do they resist both of them or do they kind of fluctuate towards or air towards one or the other? So, I personally am a Questioner. I resist outer expectations and I meet inner expectations. To give a quick example, if I wanted to get fit, having a gym buddy as an outer expectation expecting me to show up that actually wouldn't help me. And that actually is something that I've tried to do throughout my life. Hasn't worked. Meanwhile, something like actually understanding the science behind why I should be fit or kind of convincing myself that my identity, or I want to be the type of person who, you know, respects their health. That works for me. So as a Questioner, I meet inner expectations. I resist outer expectations.Now I did a poll on Twitter a while ago, got around 400 votes from people who had been working remotely again, pre COVID. And it was interesting to see that the most popular tendencies among this again, non-scientific poll were Questioners and Rebels, and I thought, huh, that's interesting.If you remember questioners and obligers for the most common in the overall population with remote workers, or at least those who sought out remote work. Where questioners and rebels with the, the familiarity or the common thread here is that they both resist outer expectations. I thought that was really interesting.And I think that relates to this idea that there's a level of self-selection or misalignment with outer expectations of society, of people trying to at least identify their own work norms, identify their own vision or how they can actually build something, build their own box. And this isn't again, mean that they're more successful or less successful.It's just perhaps that they actively sought out this type of environment. Now, what's the takeaway here. This is a brief section compared to the other two, but it's the idea that people actually respond differently to inner and outer accountability. We used to have everyone in an office and that didn't necessarily work with everyone.Now we have everyone remote that doesn't necessarily work for everyone. So, I think the idea here is that leaders need to actually learn past, just the high level this person is good at these skills. This person is good at these skills. This is my top player. This is my, you know, less valuable player. And more so think about how to tailor their leadership stylers to figure out how to motivate their employees. Whether they're in a remote environment or not. But especially if you're in a remote environment, how do you incentivize, if we just quickly go back, how do you incentivize Upholders and Obligers when Questioners and Rebels tend to naturally seek out this environment?And on the flip side, if you're in an office, how do you naturally incentivize Questioners and Rebels so that they're motivated when Upholders and Obligers may more naturally fit into those traditional environments. So just something to consider. Right. This is the final slide I have, and I know we're running out of times, but the idea here is just, again, there are certain things or certain ways that humans tend to interact in, in an person environment.And they don't necessarily act the same ways in a remote environment. And in particular, they may not even act in ways that benefit themselves all the time. So, we must as leaders, if you're leading a team, if you're leading a company, It's good to consider some of these things and figure out A: How do I encourage Giving through discovering, hiring, promoting, and acknowledging and rewarding as I said before Givers. How do I select incentives or develop the right systems so that we're using Mechanism Design and not just throwing people into a game and hoping that they choose the best outcomes that are best for them or best for everyone?And then finally, how do we actually learn about our people past the face value in terms of their skills and figure out how to harness their unique strengths, whether they're in an in-person environment or a remote environment. If you want to find me, or if you have questions, happy to answer them now, but you're also welcome to email me or DM me on Twitter and that is it.Brian Ardinger: That's it for another episode of Inside Outside Innovation. If you want to learn more about our team, our content, our services, check out InsideOutside.io or follow us on Twitter @theIOpodcast or @Ardinger. Until next time, go out and innovate.FREE INNOVATION NEWSLETTER & TOOLSGet the latest episodes of the Inside Outside Innovation podcast, in addition to thought leadership in the form of blogs, innovation resources, videos, and invitations to exclusive events. SUBSCRIBE HEREYou can also search every Inside Outside Innovation Podcast by Topic and Company.  For more innovations resources, check out IO's Innovation Article Database, Innovation Tools Database, Innovation Book Database, and Innovation Video Database.  Also don't miss IO2022 - Innovation Accelerated in Sept, 2022.

In this episode we are going to take you behind the scenes of both of our coaching businesses.Trish and Carol both offer accountability coaching.  Benefits range from focusing on current goals, making progress with intentions and starting fresh habits to move forward and get "unstuck".Favourite coaching tools include Google docs, Trello for project management, Paperbell for coaching and client management and time blocking on your calendar.Gretchen Rubin has a framework called Four Tendencies which are:Upholders meet both inner and outer expectations.Questioners question both inner and outer expectations.Obligers resist inner but meet outer expectations.Rebels resist both inner and outer expectations.They usually say a lot about how clients will respond to accountability coaching.Obligers generally to get the most out of accountability coaching, as they thrive on outer expectations exclusively.Upholders often take on too much, and they often find that an accountability coach can help them prioritize.Questioners can get a lot out of accountability coaching, but only if the coach's approach makes sense to them.Rebels don't care about any kind of accountability, so they generally respond best to “sounding board” type coaching.Curious? You can  take and interpret the Four Tendencies QuizMeet your hosts:I'm Carol, an accountability coach helping women entrepreneurs around the globe reach goals in their business.  I offer consulting packages tailored to find your way through the overwhelm. Visit carolclegg.comI am Trish….I'm Trish and I'm a professional life coach with a focus on your best life balance: how good habits like time-blocking to your core values, setting firm boundaries, and learning to say NO can free you up and get you moving on to your next big plan! You can find out more at healthylifemindset.comConnect with Carol on socialLinkedInInstagramClubhouseConnect with Trish on socialLinkedInInstagramFacebookI am your host Carol Clegg. In my role as a coach, I partner with women solopreneurs in midlife to conquer procrastination, attain balance in their business endeavors, and nurture a positive mindset. By blending personalized accountability and mindset coaching with the powerful Positive Intelligence program, you'll gain the confidence to harness tools that elevate your overall happiness. Feel free to reach out with any inquiries you may have. I'm here to support you on your journey. Let's chat! BOOK your ✅ 30 minute complimentary discovery call carolclegg.com or book your call here https://bit.ly/discoverycallwithcarol Connect on LinkedIn and Instagram Thanks for listening!

As a busy mom of three, Danielle knows the importance of finding time to herself. In this episode of the Grounded in Simplicity podcast, she discussed with Bonnie about the book The Four Tendencies. From the conversation, there are four personality types: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel. Each personality type has its own strengths and weaknesses. For example, Upholders are great at following rules and meeting deadlines, but they may have a hard time relaxing or taking breaks. Questioners are good at challenging the status quo and thinking critically, but they may have a hard time making decisions. Obligers are good at meeting other people's expectations, but they may have a hard time meeting their own. Rebels are good at thinking outside the box and taking risks, but they may have a hard time following rules or routines. Which personality type are you? Listen to the whole podcast episode to better understand which personality matches you.Support the show

There's no one-size-fits-all solution for becoming happier and more productive!  This week on YAP, we're chatting with Gretchen Rubin! Gretchen is a 5X Best Selling Author, Speaker, “Self-Help Queen”, and Happiness Expert. She is known as an influential and thought-provoking observer of happiness and human nature.  In today's episode, we've compiled the most actionable of Gretchen's knowledge in one place. We'll yap about how to make your goals for the new year fun and attainable by choosing a theme like UPGRADE or a phrase like Walk 20 in 2020 that makes taking action easy! We learn how to personalize goal setting by covering the famous 4-tendencies: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel and how these personalities should best approach their desired outcomes. Lastly, Gretchen teaches us how to form new and helpful habits. She shares her delightful challenge this year of Rest for 22 minutes each day in 2022 and explains how habits and goals don't have to be extravigaint, but can be boring!  It's never too late to start a new year's resolution! Make sure to listen and learn how to do it right in this week's episode!  Sponsored by -  Prose - Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to Prose.com/YAP. Shopify - Go to shopify.com/profiting, for a FREE fourteen-day trial and get full access to Shopify's entire suite of features. BrandCrowd - Check out brandcrowd.com/yap to learn more, play with the tool for free, and get 73% off your purchase.   Jordan Harbinger - Check out jordanharbinger.com/start for some episode recommendations. Athletic Greens - Visit athleticgreens.com/YAP and get FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Blinkist - Go to Blinkist.copm/YAP to start your free 7 day trial and get 25% off of a Blinkist Premium membership. Social Media:  Follow YAP on IG: www.instagram.com/youngandprofiting Reach out to Hala directly at Hala@YoungandProfiting.com Follow Hala on Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Follow Hala on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yapwithhala Follow Hala on Clubhouse: @halataha Check out our website to meet the team, view show notes and transcripts: www.youngandprofiting.com Timestamps: (0:00) - Hala welcomes Gretchen to the show  (1:27) - The Concept of Drifting in Life (3:20) - Gretchen's Career Pivot From Law To Research & Writing (5:30) - Importance of Loving to Talk About Your Job (6:30) - Drifting In The Age of Covid (9:12) - New Year's Resolutions/ Temporal Landmarks (12:22) - Correlation Between Goals and Happiness (14:14) - Setting a One Word Theme For Our Year (17:20) - Gretchen's Concept of 22 in 22 (18:29) - Gretchen Describes Her Tasting Parties (20:20) - Should We Place Boundaries When Setting Goals (23:15) - Sticking To Your Goals/ Four Personality Types (24:24) - Upholders (24:43) - Questioners (25:16) - Obligers (26:00) - Rebels (27:00) - Gretchen's Four Tendencies Test (30:00) - How Does Each Personality Type Stick To Their Goals (30:10) - How Rebels Stick to Goals (33:20) - How Obligers Stick To Goals (35:45) - Can We Grow Into a Different Personality Type?  (39:10) - Why Obligers Are Not People Pleasers  (40:10) - How Questioners Stick to Goals (42:42) - What is the Arrival Fallacy? (45:45) - Gretchen's Approach to Breaking Bad Habits (49:20) - What is Gretchen's 22 Minutes of Rest for 2022 Challenge? (51:55) - Getting More Sleep to Be Happier (56:08) - What is the one actionable thing that our listeners can do today to be more profiting tomorrow? (59:45) - Gretchen's Secret To Profiting In Life Mentioned In The Episode: Better Than Before (Gretchen's book): https://gretchenrubin.com/books/better-than-before/about-the-book/  The Four Tendencies (Gretchen's book): https://gretchenrubin.com/books/the-four-tendencies/intro/  Take The Quiz: Gretchenrubin.com/take-the-quiz Happiness with Gretchen Rubin: https://gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/

On today's show, I talk about my word (phrase) of the year and what I'm hoping to do in 2022. Then, I talk about the importance of habit formation and give several strategies to build better habits.   As I begin to work on developing better habits this year, I want to point out that if you try to introduce too much change into your daily life, you're setting yourself up for failure. Humans are not great at reorganizing their entire day all at once. We have to start small (so don't make 10 New Year's resolutions and expect success).   You know those people who talk about willpower? Well, willpower is a crock. Willpower does not often get you to where you want to go. It's habit formation that gets you to your goals, and willpower only causes most of us to feel like failures.   Gretchen Rubin, author of “The Happiness Project” and co-host of the Happier podcast, developed a concept and wrote a book about it a few years ago called “The Four Tendencies.” This framework is based on how a person meets inner and outer expectations. The four types are Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels. (Take the free quiz to learn what type you are.)   I'm a questioner, which means I have questions and need justifications before I'll commit to doing something. It also means outer accountability doesn't matter to me. It's why I don't care about joining a mastermind group or having an accountability partner. And I won't stick with a class just because I paid for.   But that type of accountability works well for obligers, who need accountability to meet inner and outer expectations. These are the people who, when they pay for that yoga class or tell a friend they'll exercise with them, it works. They do not want to let anyone down so they will show up. You can see how knowing your tendency will help figure out what you need as you start to create habits and try to commit to better habits or new goals.   In his book “Atomic Habits,” James Clear talks about making tiny, tiny habits, just a 1% change each day. So, want to start running? On that first day, just run around the block and come home. Don't push yourself. Don't go farther. It'll take 2 minutes.   That may sound ridiculous, but you need to focus on the process, routine and the change in your routine. Don't focus on the running; focus on the habit creation.   Starting is the hardest part. Katy Milkman is an economist who studies change behavior at the Wharton School. She was on Dan Harris' podcast Ten Percent Happier about how to change your habits. Katy talks about this problem of getting started. It's not about willpower. It's about the struggle to get started. And that requires habit formation.   Katy also talks about something called the “fresh start” effect—that time when we start a new job, or move to a new city, or when the school year starts in September when it feels like a fresh start. That's the perfect time to implement new habits.   January and the new year also feels like a “fresh start” to people and can be a perfect time to start new habits. We just have to be careful not to try to start too many at one time.   Gretchen Rubin would say before you start thinking about techniques to use to develop new habits you need to know yourself. That's why I recommend taking her Four Tendencies quiz. But, in addition, think about the kind of person you are. Are you a night owl? Then, you're never going to get up at 5 a.m. to exercise! Accept it and aim for a better habit that works for you.   A few habit formation strategies to try:   Pairing Pair the new habit with something you're already doing, preferably something you like. For me, that is walking while listening to podcasts—what I like to call Bod and Pod.   Accountability As I mentioned earlier, it doesn't work for everyone, but if works for you, try to build more accountability into your daily life. Maybe find an accountability partner who is also a freelance business owner.   Scheduling it Sounds obvious, but sometimes we just forget to work on our new habits, so put it on your calendar and to-do list and set timers.   Commit to a streak Start a 30-day challenge where you're going to do the new habit every day for 30 days.   Make it difficult or inconvenient Delete apps. Use the Freedom app to block social media websites.   Hide bad cues and display good cues. Put your phone in another room. Hide junk food. Keep your vitamin bottle visible. Put your water bottle near the front door.   Think about your future self. Future Melanie will be happy this summer if I already have a regular exercise routine established.   Biz Bite: Embrace hygge   The Bookshelf: “How the Word Is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America” by Clint Smith   Resources: Join the Deliberate Freelancer Facebook group.   Support Deliberate Freelancer at Buy Me a Coffee.   Subscribe to the Deliberate Freelancer newsletter.   “Respair” tweet by Susie Dent   Book “The Four Tendencies” by Gretchen Rubin   Take The Four Tendencies quiz   Book “Atomic Habits” by James Clear   Katy Milkman and her book “How to Change” and podcast “Choiceology”   Katy Milkman on Ten Percent Happier podcast: How to Change Your Habits   Yoga with Adriene   National Novel Writing Month   “A 180 in 365: My Year of Walking” by Alicia Chantal (blog post)   Episode #78 of Deliberate Freelancer: Building Your Community as a Newish Freelancer, with Alicia Chantal  

Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the #1 New York Times and international bestseller, The Happiness Project. Her books have sold over 3.5 million copies and have been published in more than thirty languages. Her "Four Tendencies" personality framework on sustaining happiness divides people into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. More than 500,000 people have taken the quiz to figure out which tendency they hold, and you can to here. Millions of people read her blog each year, where she reports on her daily adventures in the pursuit of happiness and habits. As you can probably tell, Gretchen is the real deal and we could go on and on. The last note is that listening to her podcast Happier with "Gretchen Rubin" has been referred to as "one of the 10 life-changing things to do" by BuzzFeed.Gretchen dives into her Four Tendencies framework, going over how you can self-assess and determine which one you fall under. This is determined by how you react to internal and external expectations and frames routine in a way that we've never experienced before. Why is this so important? It directly relates to your happiness. How often are you trying to mimic others' routines and processes for finding happiness and success? As you listen to this episode, debrief. Be honest with yourself and be confident. Do you hold yourself accountable? Or do you find motivation in knowing that an external party is counting on you? Consider this and the much deeper dive within the episode, and let's find a little more happiness moving into 2022. Gretchen Rubin and your host, George Leith leave you with some insights into your own happiness and some very realistic measures you can take to make your personal happiness not only more attainable but sustainable.Conquer Local is presented by Vendasta. We have proudly served 5+ million local businesses through 50,000+ channel partners. Learn more about Vendasta and we can help you build your dream agency or learn more about Vendasta's Affiliate Program and how our listeners (like yourself) are making up to $10,000 off referrals.Are you an entrepreneur, salesperson, or marketer? Keep the learning going in the Conquer Local Academy.

Our guest on this episode has a problem—a good problem, yes. An enviable problem even. One that she herself is delighted to have: she’s sold a non-fiction book on proposal.And now she has to write it. 60,000 words, researched, organized and ready for the editor while also fitting in her day job, raising 3 kids with her partner and all of the other curveballs life likes to throw you.In this “coaching call” episode, Jess and I (it’s KJ writing, as it often is) help long-time listener Emily Edlynn figure out how much time to spend in what areas: book structure, research, interviewing, drafting, editing—and then how to set yourself up to allow for getting a major project like this completed on time. (We all know how KJ loves a good burn chart - check out episode 175: #HowtoUseaBurnChart). We talk about motivating yourself, strategies for staying on track or picking back up after the unexpected happens. (You can read Emily’s email to us at the bottom of the shownotes.)Most of us spend more time working on short term projects than longer ones, and when we do get involved with something that stretches out for months or years, it’s usually with other people and external deadlines, whether it’s a major work endeavor, a house remodel or a Ph.D. dissertation. Books—even books with agents and editors—require major solo mojo to get from start to The End—and then revise the result of that. It’s yet another of the many many things that aren’t easy about writing.But it can be learned, and it can be done. Emily doesn’t have any trouble using the time she has to write—but if you do, here are some ideas based on Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies, which are all about knowing how you best meet inner and outer obligations (of which writing a book is weirdly both). Obligors need outer accountability. Set yourself up with a friend or your agent, give them your goals and arrange weekly check-ins. Questioners need reasons, so make that burn chart and put up a full calendar where you can see it and always have an answer for “but do I really need to do this now?” Upholders probably need nothing more than a plan—but make sure your inner upholder understands that this is a priority. Rebels benefit from regular reminders that this is hard, that most people can’t do it and that achieving this goal is a rebellion against everything that stands in its way—and many also like a plan that involves beating the clock. Anything that lets a rebel say “I’ll show you!” is rebel jet fuel.Gretchen appeared on Episode 107 of the podcast, and you can take her “Four Tendencies” quiz here. Emily’s email: I am a psychologist by training who started writing for an audience in 2017 when my career hit a crossroads with a move for my husband's job. My parenting blog led to writing freelance when possible, including a weekly parenting column for Parents since 2019. In April, I signed a contract with a small, independent publisher, Familius, to write a parenting book.The full manuscript is due May 1. I have never felt so lost! I thought there would be more editor interaction over the year, but she basically said "See you in a year unless you need me!" (I have asked more from her, but have realized she is going to give me broad strokes and not much else.) I have scoured all the places for resources on "how to write a nonfiction book" but besides some of your episodes, what I find is either about self-publishing or marketing, not the process of writing a nonfiction book (that's not a memoir).I'm trying to narrow this down to one question, which probably can't be "how do I write a nonfiction book in a year with no structure, in the time I have?" For context, I spend half my working week doing therapy in a private practice and supervising graduate students. I'm also writing a new blog post once a month to keep my newsletter subscribers engaged, and my weekly column. Oh, and did I mention attempting to raise 3 children in the process? I currently clock about 8 hours a week of writing time . . . and then I read relevant books when I can almost daily. I did find a virtual writing group with two other psychologist authors, which has been helpful. Since you probably aren't aiming to answer "how do I write a book in a year?" maybe narrowing it down to, "How do I manage my time with a professional job that pays the bills, little interaction with an editor (this seems different in the fiction world or even the nonfiction Big 5 world), to complete a 60,000-word nonfiction, researched manuscript in a year?"Do you think you can help me?? Links from the PodHow to Get an Agent Episodehttps://www.emilyedlynnphd.com#AmReadingEmily: The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel Wow No Thank You by Samantha IrbyKJ: Becoming Duchess Goldblatt, AnonymousJess: The Secret History by Donna TarttPodcast: Lili Anolik’s Once Upon a Time at Bennington CollegeWant a “coaching call” of your own? Email us at amwriting@substack.com. We can’t promise to respond to every email, but we might answer your question on an upcoming episode—or invite you into the hotseat like Emily.Think you’d be pretty good on the other end of a coaching call? Then you should consider becoming a certified book coach through Author Accelerator’s book coach training program. It’s everything you need to know to begin working with clients on writing, planning, revising and querying (and then learning more and getting better with every new client and with Author Accelerator’s support and team behind you). Choose a fiction or nonfiction specialty, study with a cohort and design a new business or side-gig that works for you. Learn more at bookcoaches.com. This is a public episode. Get access to private episodes at amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

This conversation weaves together our love of organizing and helping clients with the idea of  better understanding how to motivate and inspire clients who may not be excited about this particular prospect. Our guest today is Gretchen Rubin, she is the author of several New York Times bestsellers, Outer Order, Inner Calm, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project, Happier at Home, and The Four Tendencies. Gretchen has insight, not only into getting organized, or as she calls it, 'creating inner order and outer calm', but also has deeply explored motivation, personal preferences, and tendencies for ways of showing up. Gretchen delights in enormous readership of her blog and books which have sold more than 3.5 million copies worldwide in more than 30 languages. She has made frequent TV appearances and is in high-demand as a speaker. She's also a CBS News contributor and on her weekly podcast, you can get direct access to Gretchen's wisdom! Today we will be exploring both Outer Order, Inner Calm, and The Four Tendencies, so make sure to tune in for an amazing conversation with a super special guest!   Key Points From This Episode:   [0:04:35] Gretchen describes the concept of each of The Four Tendencies: upholder, questioner, obliger, rebel [00:05:39] The difference between inner and outer expectations. [00:05:56] Upholders: their motto is, “Discipline is my freedom.| [00:06:05] Questioners: their motto is, “I'll comply if you convince me why.” [00:06:25] Obliger: their motto is, “You can count on me and I'm counting on you to count on me.” [00:08:07] Rebel: their motto is, “You can't make me and neither can I.” [00:08:40] How to keep in mind tendencies when you are working with clients or customers. [00:09:50] The thing about rebels and their partnerships; factors to keep in mind! [00:13:08] We discuss the amount that outer order contributes to inner calm. [00:14:40] Hobby organizers, inspired organizers, reluctant organizers, and wishful organizers. [00:17:02] We talk about the highly sensitive person, and catering to them out of love. [00:21:00] Is it your problem to solve? How to navigate different personalities. [00:24:07] It's not about throwing everything out, but rather the clutter that's getting in the way of what's important to you. [00:25:09] What's piquing Gretchen's interest these days; My Don't Break the Chain Tracker. [00:27:43] More on Gretchen's Know Yourself Better Journal!   Links Mentioned in Today's Episode:   NAPO — http://napo.net/join Gretchen Rubin — https://gretchenrubin.com/ Gretchen Rubin on LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/gretchenrubin/ Gretchen Rubin on Twitter — https://twitter.com/gretchenrubin Gretchen Rubin on Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/GretchenRubin Gretchen Rubin on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/gretchenrubin/ Outer Order, Inner Calm — https://gretchenrubin.com/books/outer-order-inner-calm/about-the-book The Four Tendencies — https://gretchenrubin.com/books/the-four-tendencies/intro/ The Quiz — quiz.gretchenrubin.com Happier with Gretchen Rubin — https://gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/ My Don't Break the Chain Tracker — https://the-happiness-project.com/products/dont-break-the-chain-habit-tracker Know Yourself Better — https://the-happiness-project.com/products/know-yourself-better-journal

Have you ever thought or said, "Your lack of planning is not my emergency" or are you some who has thought or said, "I don't want to, but I will, anyway." In this episode, we introduce to you all the Four Tendencies based on the book written by Gretchen Rubin. The four tendencies that are based on our nature are Upholder, Obliger, Rebel, and Questioner.In part one of this two-part topic, we discuss expectations and how two out of the four tendencies deal with outer and inner expectations. And how to understand the Upholders and Obligers in our lives and how to communicate with these two tendencies. If you would like to find out which tendency you tend to lean to when dealing with expectations, you can click on the link below to take the test. https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/four-tendencies-quiz/ Thank you for listening. Please subscribe, share, comment, turn on the notification bell, and leave a review. And remember "When you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life"Connect with us!Email: Knowyourpassionpodcast@gmail.com Website:https://knowyourpassionpodcast.buzzsprout.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keychalogic/, @know_your_passion_podcast

In episode 28 of the Done with Dieting Podcast, I'm talking all about accountability; specifically, the difference between internal and external accountability - What Gretchen Rubin differentiates Upholders from Obligers in her book, The Four Tendencies. As women, we're socialized to put other people's wants and needs before our own. So of course it makes sense that most of us can keep commitments to others, but not ourselves. But this quality is changeable. I know because *I* used to not be able to keep commitments to myself. But now I can. And if we ever want to be able to ‘get consistent', or ‘be disciplined', putting ourselves and our needs on the list of priorities, is a MUST. To learn more about the Feel Good Sisterhood, go to https://elizabethsherman.com/groupcoaching Get full show notes and more information here: https://elizabethsherman.com/podcast/28

“You can really understand your tendency... and then use it to get what you want!”- ShinahDo you have trouble “sticking” to an art, craft, or other creative thing?Have you gone through countless different creative outlets without ever really developing a real practice?Do you have what I like to call a “guilty craft closet” in your home?Then this is the episode for you!Before finding calligraphy, I tried a TON of creative things... woodworking, watercolors, you name it. And none of them lasted for more than a month or two.The influential self-help writer Gretchen Rubin has actually done a lot of work figuring out WHY people have so much trouble establishing solid habits and how to address their issues — and it all comes down to personality types. Her 4 Tendencies framework divides people up into four categories: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels.Since I figured out my own personality type, I've been able to strengthen my habits... and work WITH my personality instead of against it.Are you ready to hack your habit-making and create some more consistency in your life?Tune into this episode of The Shinah Show to find out:The four different personality types according to writer Gretchen Rubin — and how they relate to your ability to stick with a creative practiceWhy embracing your tendency is super helpful in terms of creating habitsHow I pushed through my fear and resistance and became a calligraphy teacherHighlights:‌ ‌00:36  Trouble “sticking” with a creative practice?01:14  The 4 tendencies  06:03  Embracing your tendency  07:25  Setting habits as an Obliger09:15  My calligraphy-teaching story10:47  Every tendency is valid!11:16  Try my free workshop!Links:‌ ‌The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (And Other People's Lives Better, Too) by Gretchen Rubinhttps://gretchenrubin.com/the-four-tendencies The ‘Find Your Calligraphy Style' Challenge!https://crookedcalligraphy.lpages.co/style ‌Learn calligraphy with me: www.freecalligraphyworkshop.comFollow me!Instagram: @crookedcalligraphyfacebook.com/crookedcalligraphy Show notes can be found at theshinahshow.comWatch these episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVJJZS9jYDmzePAnaGDiFuw Make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel, and ring the bell for notifications so you never miss an episode!

Describing a grand funeral conducted by the Company of Upholders – including the room where the dead man rested at Exeter Change and the organisation of his long journey back home for burial.

This week, Lisa and Aimee wonder why they have so much trouble forming good habits—and sticking to them—even when they know doing so will make them happier.  They are joined by Gretchen Rubin, host of the podcast “Happier with Gretchen Rubin” and author of the New York Times-bestselling book The Happiness Project. Gretchen explains her Four Tendencies framework—which posits that each of us fall into one of the following four categories: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels—and how understanding your personality profile can help you better incentivize wanted behaviors and habits for yourself.   Like the show? Send us a note at anxiously@tabletmag.com. Follow us on Instagram @anxiouslypod and on Twitter @anxiouslypod.    Our theme music is by Low Cut Connie.   Check out all of Tablet's podcasts at tabletmag.com/podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this podcast we update everyone on strategies that work really well with questioners. We've covered Obligers and Upholders in previous podcast. This week we take on questioners. Remember these strategies can work for anyone so if you hear something that resonates with you do it! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/matt-parrish/message

Your habits and routines become the things you do repeatedly and the things you do repeatedly become who you are. It's part three of using the Four Tendencies to develop strategies for building routines and habits.  In this episode, we talk about Upholders and give tactics that work well for this tendency. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/matt-parrish/message

In today’s episode of The Decision Corner, we are joined by Gretchen Rubin, a writer, speaker, and influencer on the subjects of happiness, habits, and human nature. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the number one New York Times bestseller, The Happiness Project. Her books have sold over 3.5 million copies and been published in more than thirty languages globally. Gretchen has spoken at places such as GE, Google, LinkedIn, Accenture, Facebook, Procter & Gamble, Yale Law School, Harvard Business School, and Wharton as well as at conferences such as SXSW, World Domination Summit, the Atlantic, Alt Design, and Behance’s 99u. Gretchen graduated from Yale University with a BA in English in 1989 and a J.D in 1994, where she served as the Editor-in-chief of the Yale Law Journal. Some of her specialties include habits, happiness, positive psychology, writing, memoirs, blogging, social media, self-improvement, self-help, non-fiction, and podcasts. Her "Four Tendencies" personality framework divides people into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels, which will both be routinely mentioned throughout this episode. You can take the quick, free quiz here. In this episode, we discuss: The four tendencies and their respective idiosyncrasies The validity of psychological frameworks and when they can be useful How to communicate with people more effectively so that they follow through with important behaviors What kinds of problems are best suited for the four tendency taxonomy Individual versus gender-based differences in behavior Public service messages that work for all four tendencies The brilliance of the Don’t mess with Texas campaign Leveraging big data to test messaging with different tendencies

Forming new habits is really tough. Knowing yourself better will help you develop routines and habits that stick. In our last podcast, we discussed Gretchen Rubin's framework of The Four Tendencies to help identify how you meet inner and outer expectations. Our next few podcasts will focus on how to use your specific tendency to build long lasting change. We start with the most common group - the Obligers - and offer three tangible strategies to building habits that work well for Obligers. Stay tuned for more tips and tricks in upcoming episodes as we cover the other tendencies - Upholders, Questioners, and Rebels. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/matt-parrish/message

Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he’s on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He’s off and running and you don’t need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren’t crazy—there’s a reason for this. It comes down to a person’s tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you’ve seen her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she’s created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today. The post How the Four Tendencies of Personality Can Help Us Better Understand Our Kids with Gretchen Rubin – ReRelease appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.

Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he’s on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He’s off and running and you don’t need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren’t crazy—there’s a reason for this. It comes down to a person’s tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you’ve seen her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she’s created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today. The post How the Four Tendencies of Personality Can Help Us Better Understand Our Kids with Gretchen Rubin – ReRelease appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.

Gretchen Rubin: The Four Tendencies.

In general terms, the emergent cancel culture movement targets to empower the voice of the marginalized to hold oppressors and abusers accountable to their myriad offenses. But as quickly as the movement is taking hold, so has the pushback. “Has to cancel culture gone too far?”, “It's getting out of hand if it hasn't already,” are some effective headlines aiming to discredit the calling out and actions demanded for all things from genuine human rights injustices (including toxic work environment, racism, sexual harassment) to subjective behavior across fashion and culture. Upholders of the status quo are having a field day leaning on the annihilative implications in the word “cancel” to delegitimize this movement. With the threat of reducing this culture war to arguing semantics and distracting from the important work to be done, we revisit our 2018 “Call-Out Culture,” episode, with "To Cancel or Not to Cancel", that is the question. We hope you enjoy this conversation! Please let us know what you think and also subscribe, rate this podcast (*****) and follow us on Instagram @TheConversations.Podcast for more.

For this Very Special Episode, Elizabeth and I discuss listener questions related to my “Four Tendencies” Personality Framework of Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels—plus a spotlight on essayist Samantha Irby. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/280 Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors. Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever thought of the difference between conflict and drama? Jonathan Miller is a Conflict Transformation Coach and Podcast Host. We talk about many different ideas and strategies for improving our communication. Could conflict be normal and neutral? I learned so much from our interview and had many a-ha moments! Jonathan is a Canadian currently living in South Africa, working with local non-profits alongside his coaching business. Jonathan also shares his mindful practices, including gratitude, and offers us one great strategy for moving forward as mindful communicators. Watch this interview on YouTube: https://youtu.be/RDap2QWHn4w Connect with Jonathan! LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/millerdjonathan/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindfulcomms/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulcommunication/ Spotify Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/0WQA3HTvkNbVmSSMPqLOdZ Jonathan offers an amazing tool - Tough Talks Made Easy Assessement https://www.mindfulcommunication.me/tough-talks-made-easy He's generously offered a 50% discount code for our community until the end of June 2020. Please use code GRATEFUL50 when you check out. Find out which of the Four Tendencies you are - Jonathan and I are both Upholders. https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/ I'm here for you. Find me on social @juliecmboyer and @wakeupwithgratitudephoto Join our Gratitude Ambassadors Community on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/groups/gratitudeambassadors/ https://www.facebook.com/juliecmboyer/ https://www.instagram.com/juliecmboyer/ https://twitter.com/juliecmboyer lhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/juliecmboyer/  

This episode is the audio from our Facebook Livestream on Upholders. The post AS 315 : Upholders appeared first on after sectionals.

The surprising thing that has been bugging me in terms of aiming for clients Where and why I kept getting lost What has my shoulders hunched over and me avoiding the gym Panic! And how I dealt with this feeling The one email that I send that makes a world of difference Introducing Be the Beacon and corresponding lessons learned My mis-estimation around the length of time it takes to build a business A huge aha around the career coaching business Lots of questions about what’s next Quotables “Things always look clearer and brighter after time away.” “What is the highest level of client I can serve and still be in integrity with serving them?” “The caliber of client we work with there is very high, particularly in terms of intelligence.” “Wow, if we come together, what an impact we can have. And that’s very exciting to me.” “It will work really well for Upholders.” “It just takes a little time to get all the pieces to hit.” “It did not break! It keeps running.” “So that’s really right on pace with last year.” “I’m so glad for the challenges, for getting stronger, for going through them.” “What is the world trying to show me?”

Can you imagine what the women in this world could do if they weren't worried about the number on the scale? - Jennipher Walters on what insight her intuitive dietitian had given her. This week, Rob had an amazing discussion with Podcast Hosts, Personal Coaches at Fit Bottomed Girls, and Creators of the Love Your Body. Love Your Life online course, Jennipher Walters and Kristen Seymour. Both women shared their own wellness journeys, how they went from student to personal trainer, and how Fit Bottomed Girls has evolved since 2008. Please leave us a review at http://reviewourpodcast.com Join our Open Sky Fitness Podcast Facebook Group! Do the 7 Day Paleo Reset Special BONUS for Open Sky Fitness Podcast Listeners: Get $100 off of the Love Your Body. Love Your Life online course when you enter the code, New FBG. Both Jenn and Kristen are on a mission to share their You Can't Hate Yourself Healthy approach to both men and women to inspire them to give up their diets and focus on enjoying their lives rather than allowing the number on the scale to determine their happiness. Through Fit Bottomed Girls, Jenn and Kristen are leading voices in combating the negative messages that the media spreads about what it means to be healthy. It is their mission to help people boost their body confidence and self-image through courses, couching, books, podcast interviews, and more. On This Episode: As you listen, Rob, Jenn, and Kristen discuss: How you can create healthy habits by first focusing on what you love such as your favorite exercise and foods before you challenge yourself. Why our poor body image and self-confidence is actually a wake-up call that there is something deeper that needs our attention. Why you can't have the mindset that you must restrict your nutrition while working out hard or training for endurance events. Why some people with tendencies such as Rebels or Upholders might have difficulty with focusing on their self-love and how they can overcome it with a unique approach that works for them. How important it is to do a self-audit of where you are now and where you want to be in the future.   "It's okay to eat the foods you want or need to eat. We tend to moralize food but you're not good for eating a salad nor bad for eating ice cream." - Kristen Seymour About Fit Bottomed Girls It began as a single blog with a tongue-in-cheek play on a Queen song. Today, the Fit Bottomed World, run by Jennipher Walters and Kristen Seymour (who are certified fitness professionals but also just everyday regular women), is an online phenomenon reaching millions of women (and men!) each month. And, of course, the focus is always on the idea that fit bottoms come in all shapes and sizes — and that you’re more than the number on the scale. (And they know because they’ve been there. Read Jenn’s personal story here, and Kristen’s here.) True pioneers of the body-positive movement, Jennipher Walters and Erin Whitehead began Fit Bottomed Girls in 2008 as friends looking for a fun, fresh and no-diet approach to being healthy. Months after the site launched, it took off — readers were clearly hungry for something other than “how to lose 10 pounds in 10 minutes and get the perfect man.” Infusing their own experiences (both failures and successes) they created a community of “FBGs” — welcoming everyone in, including writer Kristen Seymour, who would later become a business partner. From there, the Fit Bottomed Girls expanded into new verticals and products to serve its growing readership, including Fit Bottomed Mamas, Fit Bottomed Eats, a book, Fit Bottomed Zen, a podcast and the online course Love Your Body. Love Your Life. In 2017, Erin left the company to pursue other interests and focus on her family, while the Fit Bottomed World expanded into more speaking engagements, retreats, and brand consulting. Jenn and Kristen also continue to work with major brands such as Brooks Running, Marshall’s and Pure Protein on campaigns and other influencer projects that are fully aligned with the Fit Bottomed Girls’ mission. In fact, Jenn and Kristen were named as one of The 100 Most Influential People in Health and Fitness by Greatist in 2016 and 2017, and were listed as one of the best healthy living bloggers of 2018 by Healthline. And the one thing that will never, ever change is the company’s mission to continue to let women (and men!) know that you simply can’t hate yourself healthy. Let Us Coach You On The Podcast! Come on the podcast and let us be your coach for an hour on the show! We talked about this a while back but we want you, the listener, to be a guest on our show by allowing us to be your personal coaches for a 1-hour call. Your call will be featured as an actual episode on our podcast but can always keep your identity hidden by changing your name because we know that our health is everything and some things we'd like to keep to ourselves. Here's how you sign up: Go to http://openskyfitness.com/contact/ Fill out your name, email address, and message In your message, please include: Your goals What obstacles you believe are standing in your way Your expectations and how you think Devon and Rob can help you What You'll Hear on This Episode 00:00 Open Sky Fitness Introduction 1:15  Opening comments with Rob and Devon 1:30 Check out our previous guest interview: OSF 234 - Gretchen Rubin: Navigating Expectations With The Four Tendencies 2:00 About today's guests - of Fit Bottomed Girls, Jennipher Walters and Kristen Seymour. 2:30 Check out our latest Coaching Call with Jenn - Stop Binge Eating and learn how to be a client on the Open Sky Fitness Podcast! 6:00 Learn more about one of our favorite brands and our awesome sponsor, ButcherBox, and get a discount of $10 off your first order plus free bacon! 11:00 Introduction to Jennipher Walters and Kristen Seymour of Fit Bottomed Girls. 12:00 How they got started with Fit Bottomed Girls. 13:30 The negative messages that were in the media about health and how they wanted to turn that all around with FBG. 19:00 The pressures that Jenn faced as a personal trainer and feeling pressured to look a certain way to be able to give advice. 22:00 How meeting with a dietician helped Jenn lift a lot of the eating restrictions and turn to intuitive eating. 25:00 How you can create healthy habits by first focusing on what you love such as your favorite exercise and foods before you challenge yourself. 26:00 Why our poor body image and self-confidence is actually a wake-up call that there is something deeper that needs our attention. 27:00 Kristen's background, fitness fears, and wellness journey story. 29:00 Why you can't have the mindset that you must restrict your nutrition while working out hard or training for endurance events. 32:00 Why fitness just needs enough to lose weight and get healthy; you also need to focus on your nutrition.  37:00 How Jenn defines self-love and how we can practice it on a daily basis. 41:00 Why some people tendencies such as Rebels or Upholders might have difficulty with focusing on their self-love and how they can overcome it with a unique approach that works for them. 47:30 How important it is to do a self-audit of where you are now and where you want to be in the future. 50:00 What their healthy lifestyles look like based on what they like, their family life, and focus. 54:30 How Kristen found a great tribe within running groups in her city and how you can too. 58:00 Jenn's journey to trying out different workouts and how she came to start running, love it and commit to it. 1:03:30 Kristen's favorite workouts and how she's grown from student to teacher. 1:09:00 Steps you can take today to improve your health on your wellness journey. 1:13:00  Final comments with Rob and Devon 1:14:00 Learn how to can be on the podcast and work with Devon and me in a coaching session! 1:14:45 Get grass-fed, delicious meat delivered straight to your door with a brand we love and our sponsor, ButcherBox. 1:15:00 Check out our Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group on Facebook 57:10 Open Sky Fitness Closing RESOURCES MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW: Leave us an iTunes review Subscribe to our podcast and take your health to the next level! Join The Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group on Facebook Learn more about the Sky Fit Challenge Clean up your diet with our  7 Day Paleo Reset Contact Rob and Devon to apply for One-On-One Coaching Sessions Learn more about our new sponsor - ButcherBox Check out our previous interview: OSF 234 - Gretchen Rubin: Navigating Expectations With The Four Tendencies Connect with Fit Bottomed Girls via: Facebook Tell It Like It Is Tuesday Twitter Instagram Pinterest YouTube Use the code, New FBG, to get $100 off their Love Your Body. Love Your Life online course Check out Fit Bottomed Girls Coaching Tune into  The Fit Bottomed Girls Podcast Listen to the 100th episode of The Fit Bottomed Girls Podcast Find out more about The Fit Pit in Kansas City Learn more about the four tendencies with The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin Discover The Renegade Experience - Jason Ferruggia Check out Mike DeSanti JOIN THE SKY FIT CHALLENGE! CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE The challenge consists of: 8 Weeks of Equipment Free Bodyweight Workouts in 20 minutes or less. (No gym membership required) SIMPLE Whole Food Meal Plan w/Tasty Recipe Cookbook Featuring 60+ recipes! Foolproof Schedule so you know EXACTLY what you’re supposed to do every day. Access to our New Private Facebook Group – Sky Fit Challenge Group to share your progress with everyone as well as receive support and be held accountable. Do The FREE 7 Day Paleo Rest Simply go to 7DayPaleoReset.com to sign up now One of the best things you can do for your mind and body in your mission to get healthier is to focus on your nutrition. That's why we're allowing people to sign up now to join us for our next Free 7 Day Paleo Rest! It's all done via Facebook so no annoying emails that will fill up your inbox. As part of the 7 Day Paleo Reset, we will provide you with: Introduction to what the Paleo Diet is all about 7 Day guide to easy Paleo recipes What batch cooking is and how to incorporate that into your lifestyle Various content resources including generational eating habits, the importance of building a wellness community, and how to begin a new healthy lifestyle. How to make an impact on your life and life a life full of wellness.   Look Out For Our Upcoming Throw Back Thursday Podcast Episodes! We'll be releasing new podcasts episodes on Thursdays that discuss previous episodes we've done, but we need your help! Go to the  Open Sky Fitness Facebook Group and tell us what your favorite episodes are. Then, Devon and I will re-listen to that episode, pick out the best parts and share even more insights on the topic. We won't just be regurgitating the same information over again. Since we began this podcast, there's so much more information out their on health, nutrition, fitness, and personal wellness. So, each Thursday we'll really just be going deeper into your favorite topics! Claim Your FREE Bacon + $10 Off With Our Sponsor - ButcherBox That's right! By listening to the Open Sky Fitness Podcast, you get the chance to get a free order of bacon plus $10 off your first ButcherBox purchase!! ButcherBox delivers 100% grass-fed beef, free-range organic chicken, and heritage breed pork directly to your door. Think of them as the neighborhood butcher for modern America. Join The Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group! That's right! We have a closed Open Sky Fitness Podcast group on Facebook where you and everyone have the opportunity to talk about your health and fitness goals in a safe environment. We post workouts and start discussions about how to be strategic about finding a healthier you. Check it out! Start Building Your Own Workouts and Meal Plan! Download Results Tracker here! Click To Download Home Workout Templates or text the word, "lifting," to 33444 to download the templates.  Download the OSF Food Journal Now! Have a Question or Review for Rob or Devon? We love answering questions and getting feedback from you, our listener! If you have any questions to ask us, want to share a review of the show, or tell us any suggestions for guests/topics that you think would be great to have on the show, just email Rob at rob@openskyfitness.com or Devon at devon@openskyfitness.com or you can also leave us a review at http://reviewourpodcast.com ask a question in the closed Open Sky Fitness Facebook Group and even text OSFreview to 33444 to get the link. Get Fit with Free Downloads! To Download Rob’s FREE workout templates click below** Download Templates Ask Rob a Question or tell him what is working for you: Email Rob@OpenSkyFitness.com Support This Podcast To leave a Review for Rob and the Open Sky Fitness Podcast CLICK NOW!  Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show and I read each and every one of them. Contact our amazing sound engineer Ryan? Send him an e-mail here: info@stellarsoundsstudio.com Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the bottom of the post. Do you have any questions (and would like to hear yourself on the Open Sky Fitness Podcast)? Click on the link on the right side of any page on our website that says “Send Voicemail.” And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes to get automatic updates. It’s free! Thanks for listening/reading episode 236 - Building Body Confidence with the Fit Bottomed Girls! We hope you have gained more knowledge on how to be a healthier you.  

There is no one-way, one-fits-all, magic solution that works for everyone to reach goals or get things done. A lot of people spend time beating themselves up when something doesn't work instead of saying, 'Hey! I've learned something about myself. This isn't the way it works for me; let's move on to something that works better.' They shouldn't feel like they don't have any willpower or they're not a grown up. There's nothing wrong with you; there are other ways of doing things and let's focus on that. - Gretchen Rubin   Click here for the entire show notes Please leave us a review at http://reviewourpodcast.com Join our Open Sky Fitness Podcast Facebook Group! Do the 7 Day Paleo Reset     This week, we are so excited to share Rob's interview with Bestselling Author of numerous books including The Four Tendencies and Co-Host of The Happier Podcast, Gretchen Rubin. Rob and Gretchen dove deep into how she switched from a career in law to become a writer and all about the unique Four Tendencies people have according to their inner and outer expectations: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. More specifically, you'll learn about: Why we try to change our tendencies and who we are even though there's absolutely no need to do that. The fact that 40% of the population are Obligers. How to make a change in your life without changing your inner nature no matter what tendency you have. Why Rebels have a "could do" list instead of a to-do or goals list. What defines an Upholder and why they're so driven to succeed with just a little bit of accountability. How Gretchen discovered The Four Tendencies by observing people including herself. What an Obliger Rebellion is and why it can be a beneficial breakthrough for an Obliger. How the Four Tendencies can overlap for some people.   "What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while." - Gretchen Rubin   The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin Get your copy of The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin here In this groundbreaking analysis of personality type, bestselling author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin reveals the one simple question that will transform what you do at home, at work, and in life.  During her multibook investigation into understanding human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question "How do I respond to expectations?" we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. More than 600,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change. The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you've ever thought... ·         People can rely on me, but I can't rely on myself. ·         How can I help someone to follow good advice? ·         People say I ask too many questions. ·         How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask—or who keeps telling me what to do? With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. It's far easier to succeed when you know what works for you. Click Here To Take The Four Tendencies Quiz      The Four Tendencies Framework Intro [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9gieh0LkjQ[/embed]   About Gretchen Rubin Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. She’s the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, and The Happiness Project. She has an enormous readership, both in print and online, and her books have sold over 3.5 million copies worldwide. On her top-ranking podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, she discusses happiness and good habits with her sister Elizabeth Craft. (Gretchen is an Upholder, Elizabeth is an Obliger). Gretchen Rubin has been interviewed by Oprah, eaten dinner with Daniel Kahneman, walked arm-in-arm with the Dalai Lama, had her work written up in a medical journal, and been an answer on the game show Jeopardy! She started her career in law and was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when she realized she wanted to be a writer.   Let Us Coach You On The Podcast! Come on the podcast and let us be your coach for an hour on the show!   We talked about this a while back but we want you, the listener, to be a guest on our show by allowing us to be your personal coaches for a 1-hour call. Your call will be featured as an actual episode on our podcast but can always keep your identity hidden by changing your name because we know that our health is everything and some things we'd like to keep to ourselves. Here's how you sign up: Go to http://openskyfitness.com/contact/ Fill out your name, email address, and message In your message, please include: Your goals What obstacles you believe are standing in your way Your expectations and how you think Devon and Rob can help you     What You'll Hear on This Episode 00:00 Open Sky Fitness Introduction 1:15  Opening comments with Rob and Devon 1:30 Check out our previous interview: OSF 233 Dr. Joel Fuhrman: Is Fast Food More Addicting Than Drugs? 1:40 About today's guest, Bestselling Author, Gretchen Rubin. 5:00 Come and let us coach you on a podcast episode! 10:30 Join the conversation in our Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group on Facebook 10:55 A question from an OSF Facebook Group Member on natural digestive enzymes and probiotics. 12:30 What's better for you? Raw vs. cooked vegetables. 15:00 Introduction to Gretchen Rubin 18:00 How Gretchen began her new career in writing after working in the world of law for so long. 22:00 How Gretchen and her husband supported each other during their career changs. 25:00 The Four Tendencies: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel as well as outer and inner expectations. 27:50 Why the majority of people (40% of us) are Obligers and we're trying to change our tendencies to be a different person. 28:30 Why Obligers tend to outsource and reach for help to stay on track with their inner expectations and how they do it. 30:30 How to make a change in your life without changing your inner nature no matter what tendency you have. 31:50 How Rebels try to get work done with a "Could Do" list. 33:10 Upholders and how they're so driven to succeed with just a little bit of accountability. 34:00 How Gretchen discovered The Four Tendencies within people including herself. 36:40 Can the Four Tendencies overlap? How do you tip into other personalities? 38:00 Rebels - What are they like? How can you deal with them or help them? 42:40 The Obliger Rebellion: What it is and what happens during one. 49:30 How The Four Tendencies can benefit and help you get to know yourself better. 50:30 Secrets of Adulthood - About this section of her website and some of her favorite secrets. 51:00 About one specific secret of adulthood - "What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while." 53:00  Final comments with Rob and Devon 53:10 Learn how to can be on the podcast and work with Devon and me in a coaching session! 57:00 Check out our Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group on Facebook 57:10 Open Sky Fitness Closing   RESOURCES MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW: Leave us an iTunes review Subscribe to our podcast and take your health to the next level! Join The Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group on Facebook Learn more about the Sky Fit Challenge Clean up your diet with our  7 Day Paleo Reset Contact Rob and Devon to apply for One-On-One Coaching Sessions Learn more about our new sponsor - ButcherBox Check out our previous interview: OSF 233 Dr. Joel Fuhrman: Is Fast Food More Addicting Than Drugs? Connect with Gretchen Rubin via: Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube Take The Four Tendencies Quiz Learn more about Gretchen's Bestselling books including: The Four Tendencies The Happiness Project Better Than Before Check out the Happier with Gretchen Rubin Podcast   JOIN THE SKY FIT CHALLENGE! CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE The challenge consists of: 8 Weeks of Equipment Free Bodyweight Workouts in 20 minutes or less. (No gym membership required) SIMPLE Whole Food Meal Plan w/Tasty Recipe Cookbook Featuring 60+ recipes! Foolproof Schedule so you know EXACTLY what you’re supposed to do every day. Access to our New Private Facebook Group – Sky Fit Challenge Group to share your progress with everyone as well as receive support and be held accountable. Do The FREE 7 Day Paleo Rest Simply go to 7DayPaleoReset.com to sign up now One of the best things you can do for your mind and body in your mission to get healthier is to focus on your nutrition. That's why we're allowing people to sign up now to join us for our next Free 7 Day Paleo Rest! It's all done via Facebook so no annoying emails that will fill up your inbox. As part of the 7 Day Paleo Reset, we will provide you with: Introduction to what the Paleo Diet is all about 7 Day guide to easy Paleo recipes What batch cooking is and how to incorporate that into your lifestyle Various content resources including generational eating habits, the importance of building a wellness community, and how to begin a new healthy lifestyle. How to make an impact on your life and life a life full of wellness.     Look Out For Our Upcoming Throw Back Thursday Podcast Episodes! We'll be releasing new podcasts episodes on Thursdays that discuss previous episodes we've done, but we need your help! Go to the  Open Sky Fitness Facebook Group and tell us what your favorite episodes are. Then, Devon and I will re-listen to that episode, pick out the best parts and share even more insights on the topic. We won't just be regurgitating the same information over again. Since we began this podcast, there's so much more information out their on health, nutrition, fitness, and personal wellness. So, each Thursday we'll really just be going deeper into your favorite topics!   Claim Your FREE Bacon + $10 Off With Our Sponsor - ButcherBox That's right! By listening to the Open Sky Fitness Podcast, you get the chance to get a free order of bacon plus $10 off your first ButcherBox purchase!! ButcherBox delivers 100% grass-fed beef, free-range organic chicken, and heritage breed pork directly to your door. Think of them as the neighborhood butcher for modern America.     Join The Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group! That's right! We have a closed Open Sky Fitness Podcast group on Facebook where you and everyone have the opportunity to talk about your health and fitness goals in a safe environment. We post workouts and start discussions about how to be strategic about finding a healthier you. Check it out! Start Building Your Own Workouts and Meal Plan! Download Results Tracker here! Click To Download Home Workout Templates or text the word, "lifting," to 33444 to download the templates.  Download the OSF Food Journal Now! Have a Question or Review for Rob or Devon? We love answering questions and getting feedback from you, our listener! If you have any questions to ask us, want to share a review of the show, or tell us any suggestions for guests/topics that you think would be great to have on the show, just email Rob at rob@openskyfitness.com or Devon at devon@openskyfitness.com or you can also leave us a review at http://reviewourpodcast.com ask a question in the closed Open Sky Fitness Facebook Group and even text OSFreview to 33444 to get the link. Get Fit with Free Downloads! To Download Rob’s FREE workout templates click below** Download Templates Ask Rob a Question or tell him what is working for you: Email Rob@OpenSkyFitness.com   Support This Podcast To leave a Review for Rob and the Open Sky Fitness Podcast CLICK NOW!  Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show and I read each and every one of them. Contact our amazing sound engineer Ryan? Send him an e-mail here: info@stellarsoundsstudio.com Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the bottom of the post. Do you have any questions (and would like to hear yourself on the Open Sky Fitness Podcast)? Click on the link on the right side of any page on our website that says “Send Voicemail.” And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes to get automatic updates. It’s free! Thanks for listening/reading episode 234 with Gretchen Rubin: Navigating Expectations With The Four Tendencies! We hope you have gained more knowledge on how to be a healthier you.

Kori and Joe continue their discussion about self-direction through the lens of Gretchen Rubin's 4 Tendencies framework. How you respond to inner and outer expectations can influence self-direction! Listen in to find out where you might fit in-- are you a questioner, an upholder, an obliger, or a rebel? 00:10 Intro The 4 Tendencies: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/ 01:50 May cyclists run a red light? 03:10 How We Respond to Rules & Expectations: QUESTIONERS accept rules that make sense UPHOLDERS accept all the rules. OBLIGERS accept outside rules but not self-imposed rules. REBELS reject rules. 11:00 The goal of this info: ~Self-awareness comes first ~Look at ways to understand yourself better ~When do you feel constricted; energized? 15:30 Wrap up Thanks for visiting! Kori Propst, PhD, and Joe Klemczewski, PhD, merge their voices to create life-enhancing conversations and content you can use every day. Kori is the Vice President and Wellness Director of The Diet Doc, LLC—a health and weight-loss licensing company founded by Joe more than 20 years ago. Together, Joe and Kori help hundreds of Diet Doc Program Owners build industry-leading nutrition coaching platforms around the world. Now they're bringing their talent to a daily podcast where nothing is off limits. Motivation, nutrition, weight loss, career, relationships, fitness entrepreneurship, and even guest interviews and features will be dissected and categorized for convenient listening or viewing. What happens when you mix 30 years of psychology, nutrition, physiology, social anthropology, and even literary journalism education with 40 years of business-building experience and almost 90 years (should I say that?) of combined real life? Let's find out! SUBSCRIBE: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-diet-doc-life-mastery-podcast/id1385194556?mt=2 http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=thedietdocweightloss FITNESS ENTREPRENEUR? Find out how to become The Diet Doc expert in your community! https://www.dropbox.com/s/mv4mwtiignpxkn2/The%20Diet%20Doc%20MEDIA%20KIT%202018.pdf?dl=0 FREE QUIZ: DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO MEET YOUR GOALS? https://www.dropbox.com/s/thmmokbc3kd8uw3/Principles%20of%20Persistent%20Pursuit%20-%20Free%20Assessment.pdf?dl=0 LET'S CONNECT! Website: https://www.thedietdoc.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TheDietDoc Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/dietdocglobal Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/thedietdoclife Podcast: https://soundcloud.com/thedietdoc

Gretchen Rubin is one of the biggest names in self-help, but she's also special to me on a personal level. After my little sister gave me a second chance at life last year, I read everything I could get my hands on about how to be happier and healthier. One of the first books I read --- and the one that made the biggest impact on me --- was Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. Over the past few months, I’ve been getting to know Gretchen’s work in even more detail as I researched wrote my new book Winning Resolutions: Achieve Your Biggest Goals and Wildest Dreams Once and For All. Gretchen Rubin joins me on this episode of the podcast to talk about her four tendencies framework and how it can help you keep your resolutions. And fitness contributor Kathleen Trotter shares what she says are the three pillars of a balanced fitness routine. Feedback / Connect: Subscribe to My Instruction Manual on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify and anywhere else great podcast are found Visit MyInstructionManual.com for shownotes, more great content and to sign up the email newsletter Email: keith@myinstructionmanual.com Keith on Twitter: @KeithMcArthur Join our Facebook page and our Self-Help Book Club on Facebook Find us on Pinterest, Instagram and YouTube Download a free copy of 18 Steps to Own Your Life by clicking HERE Episode 50 Show Notes [00:00] Welcome and Intro Winning Resolutions will be released on December 11, but it's available for pre-order now. Order on Amazon Order on Kobo Other retailers coming soon To get a pile of pre-order bonuses, go to MyInstructionManual.com/resolutions [4:02] Featured interview with Gretchen Rubin Gretchen Rubin is New York Times bestselling author of multiple books including The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, and The Four Tendencies. In this conversation, Keith and Gretchen discuss: The TV program This Time Next Year (see YouTube clip below) [5:35] How Gretchen discovered the Four Tendencies [7:09] Gretchen provides an overview of The Four Tendencies [8:04] Upholders, obliger, rebels, questioners Outer + inner expectations quiz.gretchenrubin.com Gretchen and Keith are both upholders [11:06] Obligers [13:20] Questioners [18:50] How the tendencies overlap [23:07] Rebels [28:00] [34:33] Where to find Gretchen Website: GretchenRubin.com Four Tendencies quiz: Quiz.GretchenRubin.com Instagram: @gretchenrubin Twitter: @gretchenrubin Podcast: Happier with Gretchen Rubin [34:33] Fitness contributor Kathleen Trotter on her three pillars of a balanced fitness routine Kathleen Trotter is author of Finding Your Fit: A Compassionate Trainer's Guide to Making Fitness a Lifelong Habit In this conversation, Keith and Kathleen discuss: Why a balanced fitness routine is critical [35:00] Pillar 1: cardiovascular [36:00] Pillar 2: strength training [38:42] Pillar 3: flexibility + mobility [40:05] Where to find Kathleen [42:25] KatheenTrotter.com Instagram: KathleenTrotterFitness Twitter: KTrotterFitness Facebook: KathleenTrotter [42:45] Closing words

With the holidays coming up shortly it can be a troubling time of year for many as they gather together with family that they may not see often. One way to make family time less stressful is by trying to understand differences in personalities. Everyone approaches life differently and it can be a challenge to understand why some people make the choices they do. Gretchen Rubin is the author of the book The Four Tendencies and joins me on episode 246 to discuss the four personality types that she outlines in her book. Understanding these can help you understand family around the holidays and even help prepare you for your retirement planning. What are the 4 tendencies? There are many personality tests that people and organizations use to help understand personal behavior. These can be great tools to help inform us of our own behavior and that of others. Gretchen Rubin has laid out 4 tendencies that help explain why people behave the way they do. The 4 tendencies are the upholder, the obliger, the rebel, and the questioner. Upholders meet outer expectations and inner expectations they set for themselves. Obligers meet outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations. Rebels resist both inner and outer expectations, and questioners question all expectations, even their own! Listen to this episode to help you understand which tendency you are. How do the 4 tendencies differ from other personality tests? Each personality test is different and can teach you something about yourself and others. They all have their own vocabulary and pinpoint different aspects of people’s nature. Each one can tell you something about yourself. They will all tell you something but none of them will tell you everything. Understanding your tendency can help you understand how to achieve a goal or decide what type of accountability you need to get things done. When creating your retirement plan you can use your tendency to help you harness your strengths and understand your weaknesses. How can understanding the 4 tendencies help your retirement planning? Planning your retirement is really planning a change in your lifestyle. Attaining more time freedom leaves you time to pursue your dreams. But having more time freedom doesn’t necessarily mean that you will achieve all of your hopes and dreams. Understanding your tendency can help you meet your retirement goals. For example, obligers often feel that they will be able to tackle everything once they have more time. But then they find that they disappoint themselves because without external accountability they often have a hard time attaining their goals. Have you ever set a goal for yourself that you didn’t achieve? Should you moderate your tendency or own it? Each tendency comes with its strengths and weaknesses. Understanding your strengths and weaknesses as well as those of your family members can help you relate to others. Learning how to harness your strengths can help you achieve your goals. Once you understand more about yourself then you can find tools that help you move forward to achieve your goals. You will still have weaknesses but knowing how to navigate them and create solutions will help you do all the things you want to do. Listen to this episode to hear how to apply the 4 tendencies to your life and relationships and rock retirement. OUTLINE OF THIS EPISODE OF THE RETIREMENT ANSWER MAN HOT TOPIC SEGMENT [3:24] People approach life and their problems differently [5:45] Nichole and Roger took the personality test PRACTICAL PLANNING SEGMENT [9:49] How do the 4 tendencies differ from other personality tests? [13:37] What are the 4 tendencies? [15:47] Understanding these can help you better yourself [17:43] How can understanding the tendencies help someone navigate change? [22:08] Should you moderate your tendency or own it? [24:53] Know yourself and your partner THE HAPPY LAB SEGMENT [27:48] What are you going to do to be happy over the holidays? TODAY’S SMART SPRINT SEGMENT [29:56] Learn more about yourself and your spouse Resources Mentioned In This Episode The Four Tendency Quiz BOOK - The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin Roger’s YouTube Channel - Roger That BOOK - Rock Retirement  by Roger Whitney Ask Roger a question Work with Roger 3-video Series: 5 Minute Retirement Makeover Roger’s Retirement Learning Center The Retirement Answer Man Facebook Page

Gretchen Rubin, author of the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, and The Happiness Project, joins our show in this special episode of the Elite Man Podcast! In today’s episode Gretchen talks about the 4 tendency types that people fall into and why knowing your type can help you become happier, more successful, and more effective in just about every aspect of life. She discusses how she discovered these personality types, how they differ from one another, how to spot other people’s tendencies, and how to capitalize on the natural tendency type you were born with. If you’re wondering how to improve your life by knowing your tendency type and subsequently working with and mastering your innate God-given abilities, check this episode out now! *Download this episode now and subscribe to our channel to get more of these amazing interviews! In our episode we go over: Why Gretchen likes to find patterns and group people into different types of categories How Gretchen got into studying human behavior and happiness and why she chose to become a professional writer What the 4 tendencies are and why your tendency type matters Why your tendency type describes how you respond to expectations Outer expectations vs. inner expectations Upholders, Obligers, Questioners, and Rebels The different job types that generally relate to the different tendency types The strengths and weaknesses of each tendency type The most popular tendency type and the least popular tendency type Whether or not you are born with your tendency or whether your environment creates it Whether or not you can change your tendency later in life and whether or not this would be a good idea The research behind the 4 tendencies and how Gretchen came up with them Famous people or fictional characters in novels that fit the four tendency types Whether Steve Jobs was a rebel or a questioner What my tendency type is and the story that clearly exemplifies this How to make in-the-moment reads on the tendency types of people you just meet What obliger-rebellion is The dangers of each tendency type and how to avoid their pitfalls Gretchen’s best tips on improving your level of happiness Avoiding the negativity bias The power of building relationships and how to get together with your friends more often Learning new skills and growing on a regular basis Making time for having fun and doing things that are actually fun for you The fact that the days are long but the years are short and what this means for you and your life Check out Gretchen on: Website: gretchenrubin.com Quiz: quiz.gretchenrubin.com Facebook: facebook.com/GretchenRubin Sponsors: * I’ve talked about it for weeks and I’m happy to say, today we go live! That’s right the Elite Man Brotherhood is now open to all. Go to EliteManBrotherhood.com/join to sign up for your 14-day free trial. This trial will be gone in 10 days so make sure you act now. You don’t want to miss out on your chance of checking the Brotherhood out and joining this world-class group. EliteManBrotherhood.com/join * You know what’s NOT SMART, making the lottery the centerpiece of your retirement plan. But you know what is SMART? Going to ZipRecruiter.com/elite to hire the right person. ZipRecruiter doesn’t depend on candidates finding you, it finds them for you. Its powerful matching technology scans thousands of resumes, identifies people with the right skills, education, and experience for your job — and actively invites them to apply — so you get qualified candidates fast. That’s why ZipRecruiter is rated #1 by employers in the U.S. (This rating comes from hiring sites on Trustpilot with over 1,000 reviews.) And right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter FOR FREE at this exclusive web address: ZipRecruiter.com/elite .That’s ZipRecruiter.com/elite. ZipRecruiter.com/elite.  ZipRecruiter. The smartest way to hire.

I took Gretchen Ruben’s Four Tendencies quiz and discovered that I’m a Questioner. I say "discovered," but I guess it’s not that much of a surprise at all. Did you take the Four Tendencies quiz and find out what you are? A couple of weeks ago here in Cincinnati, Ohio, I had the Sunday Basket® Workshop Certified Organizers in town for a boot camp. I told them that I had recorded the podcast with Gretchen Ruben and so they took the Four Tendencies quiz. We found out that the majority of them are Obligers. We also had a few Questioners in the mix, though I don’t think we had any Rebels or Upholders. So I think the majority of people who listen to my podcast are probably Obligers or Questioners. And as a Questioner myself, I know that being a Questioner is not an easy road. Questioners are analytical. I’m going to tell you about my questioning tendencies and how it relates to the Organize 365 products I develop. Instead of using the term Questioner, I’ve always said that I’m very analytical. So I think people who are very analytical are probably a Questioner on Gretchen Ruben’s scale. Also, I think your personality comes into play, because you can be a contrary Questioner or you can be a productive Questioner. I’m a productive Questioner. I question and I analyze so that I can get an end result or so that I can help others get an end result. That is my overarching questioning–ness. I question something to figure out how to solve a problem. My ultimate goal as a teacher, educator, coach, motivator, parent, and human being is to solve problems and help people achieve the end result that they have for themselves. So I am a Questioner, an analyzer, in order to get you to the end result that you desire. Obligers & Questioners I think the majority of you up to this point have been Obligers, but in March I think I had some Questioners on the 100 Day Home Organization Program wait list! I got a couple of emails that asked, "Why are you making me wait? This is ridiculous. Here is my money, let me in please. Can I have the program? I don’t want to wait a month." I literally got three of those emails in one week! I do not promote the 100 Day Home Organization Program every day of the year. I promote it for ten days, three different times of the year, when I know you will have the best end result of jumping into it. Now, I analyzed this quite a bit. I do not need the external motivation that an Obliger needs. My goal for Organize 365 is to get you to your desired end result which is an organized home. And as an educator, and a teacher, and an analyzer, I know that your best chance for success is to start in September, in January, and in April. You’ll get as far as you possibly can because you’ll be going with the natural energy of the year. However, I know that doesn’t work for everyone. And so in the future on the wait list page at the bottom, there’ll be a button that says, “Can’t wait, click here.” If you just took that quiz and you’re an Obliger, you wait until September and you start with everybody else. You will have so much more success with the 100 Day Home Organization Program if you’re doing the weekly Facebook Lives and if you’re in the Facebook Group because everybody is doing the same thing which will help you get to your end result of organizing your house. The next round of the 100 Day Home Organization Program starts on MONDAY! And... I have opened registration for those of you who keep emailing trying to get in. :) You can sign up through the new store here... https://organize-365.myshopify.com/ (Your planner will get there by FRIDAY.) An Update On The Sunday Basket® Club We started the Sunday Basket® Club because a bunch of you Obligers came to me and said that you needed to pay a monthly fee so you would do your Sunday Basket®. And you said you wanted a Sunday Basket® class. I want you to have excellent value when you put money into Organize 365. When you pay for something at Organize 365, I want you to say at the end, “Oh, my gosh, it was worth so much more than that!” So, I price accordingly. I price for the value that is in the product, but I also price so that when you’re done, you realize you got even more than you expected. With the Sunday Basket® Club, I was going to do twice-a-month training sessions on how to organize your paper, which I started doing in January. But I quickly realized that people were joining in February and not getting January’s "how to get started with organizing your paper." There’s an order to it that was missing. So… introducing the new Sunday Basket® Club! It’s $99 a year. You can do the Sunday Basket® on Sundays with Monique and Ryan, and then every other Monday night, is a Facebook Live Q & A, just like in the 100 Day Home Organization Program. It’s an opportunity for you to tell me what you want to hear by telling me what questions you have about your paper. For Questioners, simplicity comes at the end when you’ve decided what the answers to your questions are. That’s how we get simplicity. So go ahead, ask me all the questions you want in the Sunday Basket® Club! I Want To Get You Results We are constantly analyzing and tweaking. Part of why I say, “Progress, not perfection” is because as a Questioner, I know there’s no perfect. If you give me something that’s perfect, I’m going to question it. I want you to get the best end result and that is why I do everything that I do. I want to give you all of the options so you can get the end result of getting your house organized. And sometimes, you see too many choices so you can’t make a decision in order to get to your end result. I am trying to tailor my products to what you need. So that’s a sneak peek into how a Questioner thinks and why I make changes. Every change I make is to benefit you. The 100 Day Home Organization Program hasn’t changed in years. I am going to make it available on demand in the future, but I’m still going to do the launch model because that’s what works for the majority of my audience. Next week, we’re going to dive into physical products and the highs and lows of creating them! And there’s still time to join me in Dallas, Texas for the Organize 365 National Convention on June 7-9, 2018! I can’t wait to meet you and give you a BIG hug! View the complete post here: https://organize365.com/224

You asked and I listened. This week on the podcast, I’m thrilled to welcome author Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen is one of the most influential writers in the world on human nature. She hosts an award-winning podcast and her best-selling books have been published in 30 countries and sold over 3 million copies! On the podcast, we talked about Gretchen’s most recent book, The Four Tendencies, and how your personality type relates to getting your home organized. Which Personality Type Are You? Gretchen explained that the The Four Tendencies are four different personality types: Upholder Questioner Obliger Rebel You can probably tell which one you are just from the name! But if you want to take the survey for free, visit gretchenrubin.com. Gretchen explained that these personality types vary depending on what motivates you. We’re all motivated by two main kinds of expectations: Outer Expectations: such as a work deadline or request from a friend Inner Expectations: our own desire to do things Upholders readily meet both types of expectations. Questioners question all expectations, so they'll only do something if they're convinced it makes sense. They make everything an inner expectation and object to anything they see as inefficient or irrational. Then there are Obligers, those who readily meet outer expectations (things other people want), but struggle to meet inner ones (the things they want). I think there are a lot of you out there! Finally, there are Rebels, those who resist all expectations, both outer and inner. Obliger is the most common type of tendency, with Rebel and Upholder being least common. Listen to the podcast to find out which tendency I have. Hint: No one guessed it correctly on Facebook! Making The Sunday Basket® Work For Your Personality Type I enjoyed telling Gretchen about the Sunday Basket® and it was interesting to unravel that it’s my Obliger audience who were saying, "We need you to go through the Sunday Basket® with us on Sunday." I’m so pleased that I created the Sunday Basket® Club to give people the outer accountability that they need. How Does Personality Type Affect Home Organization? I think we have all of the tendencies in our family of 4! So how does this help us to get our homes organized, especially when dealing with the variety of tendencies in our family? I listened with great interest to Gretchen’s advice on how to get the home organized when taking personality types into account. Gretchen explained that a big problem for Obligers is that they often struggle to delegate tasks. Do you recognize this tendency in yourself? This is where it helps to have people hold you accountable. Another great tip that Gretchen gave is one that I’ve heard myself say before… if you want to clean out the spare room, invite guests. That may well be the only thing that you need to do! Your Habits = Your Identity Like Dr Phil always used to say – You have an identity from being cluttered, but then you get organized and you have a new identity. So you have to really focus on that. Once you become organized, you ARE living a different kind of life. We don't realize how much of our life is habitual. This is why both mine and Gretchen’s podcasts ask so many questions. It's to help people think about making choices and changing habits. I LOVED talking to Gretchen. She concluded on the show that if we have habits that work for us, we're much more likely to be healthier, happier, and more creative.   Hey, have you signed up to join me in Dallas, Texas for the Organize 365 National Convention? I can’t wait to meet you and give you a BIG hug! View the complete post here: https://organize365.com/223

Gretchen Rubin (@gretchenrubin) is a former lawyer turned podcaster and best-selling author. Her latest book is The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too). What We Discuss with Gretchen Rubin: We tend toward one of four archetypes based on how we respond to expectations: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Understanding these tendencies improves the ways we motivate and influence ourselves and others. We explore each tendency and how we can optimize our mental models and self-talk to get ourselves on the right track. We learn how to spot these tendencies in others and ensure we're using the right types of incentives and communication to get the best from those around us. Take the quiz 600,000 others have taken to better understand how these frameworks can galvanize significant and lasting change. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.

Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. She’s the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, and The Happiness Project. On Gretchen's top-ranking, award-winning podcast “Happier with Gretchen Rubin,” she discusses happiness and good habits with her sister Elizabeth Craft. In this episode, we discuss: How Gretchen came up with the concept of her new book, The Four Tendencies Inner and outer expectations Upholders, questioners, obligers, and rebels Always beware of an upholder offering advice on how to do something Does your tendency ever change? Can a major life event impact your tendency? Speak the language of the person you're speaking to Upholders need to be on alert for "tightening" Questioners can sometimes drain and overwhelm others with their constant questioning A deep irony within the questioner tendency Obligers need outer accountability Obliger rebellion How to handle a rebel 2 upholders in a romantic relationship (Marni & Jesse) Not being confined by our tendencies We're all different and different things work for different people Show sponsors: CoreChair

We all fall into at least one of four personality categories: We’re either Upholders, Questioners, Obligers or Rebels, according to our guest Gretchen Rubin. Her latest book, The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better, is already a bestseller. Rubin says that understanding which category defines you, can transform what you do at home, at work, and in life by helping you make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. [FYI, I’m an Upholder, as is Mark, which may explain why we work so well together!] The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you’ve ever thought…People can rely on me, but I can’t rely on myself?How can I help someone to follow good advice?People say I ask too many questions.How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask—or who keeps telling me what to do?If you’re having trouble figuring out which tendency best describes you, fear not, as Gretchen has developed a very easy quiz for you to take. It takes no more than ten minutes -- more than a million people have already completed it! You can take the quiz here. Knowing who you are may be able to make you happier, healthier, more productive and even more creative. After all, it’s far easier to succeed, when you know what works for you and those who surround you. For more from a leading observer of human nature, follow Gretchen on Twitter. “Better Off” is sponsored by Betterment. We love feedback so please leave us a rating or review in iTunes. "Better Off" theme music is by Joel Goodman, www.joelgoodman.com. For a recap of every episode, visit https://www.betterment.com/resources/topics/inside-betterment/better-off-podcast/ Connect with me at these places for all my content: http://www.jillonmoney.com/  https://twitter.com/jillonmoney  https://www.facebook.com/JillonMoney  https://www.instagram.com/jillonmoney/  https://www.youtube.com/c/JillSchlesinger  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jillonmoney/  https://soundcloud.com/jill-schlesinger  http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/jill-on-money  http://betteroffpodcast.com/  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/better-off-jill-schlesinger/id431167790?mt=2

Before you can improve yourself, you must know and accept yourself. But how? According to Gretchen Rubin (author of The Happiness Project and Better Than Before, and co-host of the podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin) the key lies in knowing your tendency, or how you respond to inner and outer expectations. Once you do, keeping your New Year’s resolutions, sticking to an exercise routine, and even communicating with your partner or kids gets a whole lot easier. In Episode 98 of Edit Your Life, Asha and Gretchen talk about her new book, The Four Tendencies, in which she lays out a simple framework for understanding our internal motivations (Obligers, Upholders, Questioners, or Rebels). They share the quirks and challenges of their own tendencies, discuss the inherent tension between improving and accepting ourselves, and talk about how the Four Tendencies play out in relationships. + + + + + Every week, Edit Your Life shares practical ideas for decluttering your home, schedule, and mental space without getting bogged down by perfection. Hosts Christine Koh and Asha Dornfest are award-winning bloggers and the co-authors of MINIMALIST PARENTING and won the 2017 Iris Award for Podcast Of The Year. Share: #edityourlifeshow Show notes: edityourlifeshow.com Facebook: facebook.com/edityourlifeshow Email: edityourlifeshow@gmail.com

This week we're delighted to have Gretchen Rubin on The Psychology Podcast! Gretchen is the author of several books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project and Happier at Home. She has an enormous readership, both in print and online, and her books have sold almost three million copies worldwide, in more than thirty languages. On her popular weekly podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft; they’ve been called the “Click and Clack of podcasters.” Her podcast was named in iTunes’s lists of “Best Podcasts of 2015” and was named in the Academy of Podcasters “Best Podcasts of 2016". Gretchen's latest book is The Four Tendencies, which is the main focus of this episode's lively discussion and debate. The larger themes of our conversation include: The four tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Oblidgers, and Questioners; they refer to the different ways each of us responds to internal and external expectations How Gretchen came up with these 4 categories The ways in which each of these 4 categories may be found to correlate with different "Big 5" personality traits The disadvantages of studying discrete types in the world of personality psychology The level of rigor necessary to distinguish a theory from a fully-formed, brand new personality dimension The place for writing that presents theories built on a more observational and experiential notion of truth, as opposed to a rigorously tested truth The ways that knowing your type can help you harness both your own strengths and those of others Links: [Book] The Four Tendencies [Quiz] Take Gretchen's Four Tendencies Quiz  [Twitter] Follow Gretchen on Twitter for updates

Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he's on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He's off and running and you don't need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren't crazy—there's a reason for this. It comes down to a person's tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you've seen her on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she's created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today. The post How the Four Tendencies of Personality Can Help Us Better Understand Our Kids with Gretchen Rubin appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.

Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he's on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He's off and running and you don't need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren't crazy—there's a reason for this. It comes down to a person's tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you've seen her on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she's created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today. The post How the Four Tendencies of Personality Can Help Us Better Understand Our Kids with Gretchen Rubin appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.

Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he’s on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He’s off and running and you don’t need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren’t crazy—there’s a reason for this. It comes down to a person’s tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you’ve seen her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she’s created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today. The post How the Four Tendencies of Personality Can Help Us Better Understand Our Kids with Gretchen Rubin appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.

Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he’s on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He’s off and running and you don’t need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren’t crazy—there’s a reason for this. It comes down to a person’s tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you’ve seen her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she’s created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today. The post How the Four Tendencies of Personality Can Help Us Better Understand Our Kids with Gretchen Rubin appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.

Penny Bruce is the creative force behind Denton Drapes, a couture soft furnishing business established in the UK making bespoke window treatments for the luxury residential market and providing a trade service to high-end Interior Designers. Denton Drapes’ client list includes top celebrities from the sport, film and music world along with iconic design brands like Liberty of London. Penny has been a member of The Association of Master Upholsterers and Soft furnishers (AMUSF) since 2004 and joined their Board of Directors in October 2012. She is also a member of the Window Covering Association of America (WCAA). Penny has presented training courses, written articles, and spoken at seminars on soft furnishings in the UK and USA. In 2016 Penny was made a Fellow of the AMUSF and a Liveryman of the Worshipful Company of Upholders in recognition of her contribution to the craft. She also received the Freedom of the City of London and in March 2017 she was named as Self Employed Businesswoman of the Year for the County of Bedfordshire. This year Denton Drapes celebrates its 20th year in business which began with Penny sewing curtains at her dining table in 1997.

Haven’t we all, at one time or another, struggled with getting new activities to become more permanent? Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project and fellow Podcaster, shares her research with us on how to create lasting habits. And because no single strategy works for everyone, she dove deeper into different personality types and how they can use their inherent predispositions to their advantage. She also discussed the challenges different personalities traits have so we can be aware of avoiding potential roadblocks. In her studies, she identified 4 general personality types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels. A link to her quiz is included below so you can learn how you may be able to make long-term positive changes in your own life. She also touches on simple strategies we can all add into our daily routines to be happier people, how to avoid getting off track once the rush of completing a major goal wears off, and shares examples she has come across with other runners that are extremely helpful. Many of us are still in a New Year, New You mindset and this episode provides powerful ideas to make sure that we stay on track with the goals we have set for ourselves, not just in the near-term, but for as long as we really want. Here are some of the topics we’ll discuss today: How our different personality traits determine how they form habits. Why we should use ‘milestones’ vs. ‘finish lines’ to maintain habits indefinitely. Why it’s important to protect key activities in our schedules and how to do it. Why and how we should use self-reflection of our prior experiences to realize what worked well, or didn’t, in our past. How we can proactively stave off ‘Runner’s Blues’ after accomplishing a big goal or avoid Seasonal Affective Disorder. Questions Gretchen is asked: 4:19 Why should people focus on personal improvement? 5:36 What are some examples of easy, significant changes someone can make? 8:34 What are the 4 Tendencies you refer to in your books? 11:33 Besides Upholders, how can runners who fall into the other Tendencies work with their strengths to achieve their running goals? 18:08 Are there any dangers with being an Upholder that they should look out for? 20:30 How does social media play into these different Tendencies? 24:31 What is the Danger Of A Finish Line? 27:25 What would you suggest to help people avoid Finish Line Dangers? 30:00 Could you swap related activities for specific activities during a recovery period? 31:26 How do you stay mentally engaged when your fastest running days are behind you? 33:47 Do people need to take a temporary clean break without a goal or does it vary by Tendency? 36:24 What if people still feel something is missing after achieving a goal, even if they have replaced the key activities related to that goal? 37:55 What advice do you have to help people avoid Seasonal Affective Disorder? 41:38 The Final Kick Round Quotes by Gretchen: If there’s something that you could do pretty easily that’s going to give you a big happiness boost, wouldn’t you want to do that? (Regarding Questioners): They tend to love data and reporting, so things like monitoring how far they’re going or what their time is, keeping records. Really figure it out, whatever it would take to make that decision because while you’re  not sure it’s going to block your way because you’re going to be sort of stuck... but once you decide then you can do it. (Regarding Obligers): If you’re an obliger you need ‘Outer Accountability’, you could work out with a trainer, you could join a running group where people are going to be annoyed if you don’t show up. (Regarding Rebels): They can do anything the WANT to do. The idea of a structured schedule, something that is very appealing to an Upholder, it’s a big turn-off for a Rebel. (Regarding Upholders): Upholders sometimes suffer from ‘tightening’ and this is when the ‘rules’ get tighter and tighter… Sometimes it can feel choking. If you feel like it’s sort of over-mastering you, you want to be aware that this is a phenomenon that Upholders can experience and you want to stay in control of it. Hitting a goal is a great way to hit a goal; it’s not a great way to keep a habit, because habits are usually things that we want to do indefinitely. It’s more helpful to think of a milestone. It’s a 30-day Yoga Challenge, but what are you doing on Day 34? To be happy you have to think about feeling good, feeling bad, feeling right in an atmosphere of growth.      

When it comes to health and wellness, there is nothing more powerful than our habits. But in this modern, busy, sometimes even crazy world, what is the real secret to habit change that we all can apply? Does it matter for better wellness that you get up early, never take a bite of vanilla cake again, do crossfit or go running? Or is your tendency type so fixed so that you can eat what you want and still be healthy? In this episode, we'll get the answers to all these burning questions and much more, as we uncover the secret to habit change with #1 New York Times Best-selling Author, Gretchen Rubin. The Secret To Habit Change  I sat down with world famous author Gretchen Rubin last week in the Wellness Force studio to dive deep into a powerful question: Why do we do what we do? What came next over the next 60 minutes was powerful knowledge and tools extracted from Gretchen's 10+ years of research to help us better understand our habits and behaviors so we can show up more vital, healthy, and fit in our lives. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. Our wellness force is the energy source that fuels us to be our very best. So today, we're tapping into, and getting more clear on your wellness force. Gretchen Rubin: Make or Break Your Habits Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project and Happier at Home. In Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, she provides surprising insights and practical advice drawn from cutting-edge research, ancient wisdom, and her own observations, about how we can make our lives better than before. She investigates the multiple strategies she’s identified that help us make and break our habits. After all, habits are the invisible architecture of a happy life, and when we change our habits, we change our lives. The secret to changing a habit? First, we must know ourselves, so we can suit our habits to our own nature. It was Rubin’s longstanding interest in happiness that led her to the study of habits, because when she talked to people about their happiness challenges, they often pointed to a habit that they couldn’t make or break. This pattern made her ask, “When and why can people successfully change a habit—or not?” What It Really Takes To Change Our Habits Many of us want to change our lives by getting rid of bad habits and adopting new habits. But changing something that is fundamental to our daily lives can be very difficult. To get insights into how we can make effective and lasting habit changes, Gretchen Rubin explains the spark that lead to her researching how to use the power of custom habits to help transform our everyday lives. On her own wellness journey and never-ending passion to master habits, Gretchen shares towards the end of the show how reading Gary Taubes book, "Why We Get Fat," dramatically increased her body and health awareness by changing her diet to low carb; which ended up transforming her life. But before anyone can transform their life, they first must deeply know themselves. Gretchen has formulated just exactly how we can tap into this self-awareness in a system she calls "The Four Tendencies." What Is Your Tendency Type? Last month, I sent out Gretchen's 4 tendencies quiz to my social circles and here were the results: 14 Obligers 3 Upholders 1 Rebel 5 Questioners Where do you fall? Learn more about yourself and take the quiz Are you a moderator or abstainer? What are your habit loopholes? Do you use the strategy of monitoring? What is your tendency type? Resources Mentioned In The Show FREE iOS Wellness Force podcast app Emotional Contagion Epigenetics Genetic roots of personality Obliger Rebellion Outer accountability Habit Loopholes 21 strategies to make or break your habits Pleasure of anticipation To Cheat Day or Not To Cheat Day? One Coin vs. The growing heap Real Self Actualization vs. Fake Self Actualization  The Four Tendency Types That Direct Your Health Why Gretchen Rubin Went Low Carb Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes Gretchen's Interview With Gary Taubes: Insulin Response Gretchen Rubin’s Mantra Thanks To Our Amazing Sponsor Want to avoid more trips to the store and save hundreds of dollars a year on superfood supplements? Check out Perfect Supplements.com Go to perfectsupplements.com/wellnessforce to get your grass-fed collagen from today's show and sign up for a free membership, plus get 10% off your entire order - just enter promo code "wellnessforce" at checkout. Ask A Live Question For The Next Episode Click here to leave a voicemail directly to Josh Trent to be read live on air! Rate & Review Wellness Force Aloha! Josh here. Listen, I deeply value your thoughts, now let your voice be heard! I thrive to serve better based on your words, feedback, and requests for the Wellness Force Community. (including breaking bad habits) Get Your Free Audio Book http://www.wellnessforce.com/FreeBook You May Also Like These Episodes A Personal Trainer For Your Mind With Julianna Raye Nir Eyal: Breaking Bad Habits, Technology Addiction, & Emotional Triggers Healthy, Happy & Harder To Kill w/ Steph Gaudreau of Stupid Easy Paleo Beyond Meditation: How To Get A Better Brain With Ariel Garten Living A Healthy Lifestyle In A Modern World With Dan Pardi  Creating A Life Worth Living With Michael Strasner Get More Wellness In Your Life: Download your free Digital Health Transformation Guide: wellnessforce.com/radio Don't miss next week's show: Subscribe and stay updated Did you like this show? Rate and review Wellness Force on iTunes So nice!  You read all the way to the bottom? That's what I call love! I do the same thing for the people, things, and movements I care about as well. PS: Looks like you and I share the same passion. I'm grateful for you and want to extend you my email address. 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Commitment. Committing to ourselves. It’s so easy as women to advocate and commit to others but when it comes to doing this for ourselves – we back away. Why is that? I believe it’s because we are hard-wired to take care of others. We are also nurtured to do this. We are rewarded as children for doing thoughtful things for others but not for speaking up and asking for what we need or want. We may have even had an experience where we were chastised for asking for what we needed or wanted. When I was growing up making sacrifices for others was always acknowledged and celebrated. And it should be; it’s wonderful. But there is something I believe must come first. There has to be a commitment to you and as much as I cringe saying this because of my conditioning, you have to come first. If you don’t come first everything else will suffer as a consequence. Click to Tweet! I’ve been struggling with this one. I have to be completely transparent that there is a part of me that resists commitment altogether. I sometimes joke that it’s because I’m Sagittarius. I love my freedom too much to tie myself down to too many commitments and that it’s probably the reason why I’m single. I make plans to meet up with friends for dinner and I’m really excited about it. Then the day comes and in the afternoon I get overwhelmed with the desire to just get into my pajamas at the end of the day and watch reruns of The West Wing. I feel a pang of regret that I’ve made plans for the evening but my commitment and my integrity – that I’ve given my word – wins over and instead of pajamas and TV I’m with friends laughing enjoying a good meal and I don’t regret it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always something fun that I’ve committed to and sometimes it’s just the satisfaction that I was true to my word that rewards me for overcoming any desire to be somewhere else or do something else. Making and keeping commitments, especially to yourself, will help you to keep moving forward in the direction of your dreams despite any short-lived cravings to play it small, play it safe and play it comfortable. Here are some things you can do if you struggle with making and keeping commitments to yourself: 1.     Make Sure What You Are Committing to is 100% Relevant How often have you found yourself committed to something that has no real value or meaning to you. These are the times you find yourself saying, “I don’t even know why I agreed to this?” Be very clear on what you value and what your goals are and only make commitments that are a reflection of them. Everything else is a “no.” And if you find yourself saying “yes” when you really wanted to say “no” take a look in the mirror and uncover what it was that compelled you to say yes. This can often range from a need to be liked to avoiding conflict. Just know that whatever compelled you, in that moment, you gave it more power than your values and your goals. Think about how you can handle that situation differently in the future so when it comes up again, and it will, you will be able to navigate it with more power and ease. If your commitment is relevant, if it does reflect your values and goals, it will be much easier to overcome the urges to break the commitment. You can remind yourself why this commitment is important and how it will improve your life in the long-term. 2.  Focus on What You’ll Enjoy About the Commitment I’m in a phase right now where I have gotten off-track with my workouts and I’m trying to get back to the level of fitness I was at over the summer. Over the holidays and when I was in an intense period of catching up after the holidays my workouts took a nose-dive and I knew I needed to get back into a rhythm. Knowing this would be a struggle, I committed to - at the very least - getting 10-15 minutes of cardio in everyday to start building up my endurance again. Easy, right? Wrong. Every day there was “one more thing and one more thing” that needed to get done before I could do my workout and before I knew it there wasn’t even 10 minutes to workout. Iin fact I was running late and barely had time to take a shower and get ready before I need to race out the door. When I took a look at the list of things that made up the “one more thing” they were all tasks that could have waited. I was just using them to procrastinate because I hated the reminder, when I was working out, that I was no longer as physically fit as I once was. I didn’t look forward to this and so was avoiding it to my own detriment. I made a conscious effort to change my mindset and focus on what I do enjoy about my workout: it’s 10-15 minutes just for me, I get to listen to my favorite music or podcasts, I can focus on the progress I’m making, I can enjoy the endorphin rush and the feeling of satisfaction that comes when I’m done and I can check my workout off my list. It’s not hanging over my head for the rest of the day that I skipped my simple workout yet again. 3.    Ask Others to Hold You Accountable to Your Commitment Many people resist accountability because it sounds like being taken to task and is just another way to feel bad about making and breaking a commitment. However, accountability is only meant to be a check-in and not a disciplinary hearing. It’s an opportunity to communicate the status of your commitment and make any adjustments or recommitment if necessary. Accountability is for you and not for the other person. Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project and Better Than Before and co-host of the podcast Happier, talks often about the four tendencies when it comes to forming and keeping habits: upholder, questioner, obliger and rebel. You can TAKE THE QUIZ HERE to see what your tendency is. I’m an obliger and I’m not surprised. That means that I am motivated to make others happy. I don’t like to disappoint people so accountability works great for me. However, if your tendency is to rebel then accountability will probably not work for you. As an obliger I also have to be cautious of over-committing, which I do often, because overcommitting will cause stress, resentment and ultimately, backing out of commitments. Questioners will want to know everything about the commitment before they agree to it and Upholders will resist new commitments unless they can give 100% to it because they will give 100% and then some once they’ve committed. Know what works for you and set yourself up for success. And lastly… 4.    Choose Yourself Everyday I had a conversation with my father one day about marriage and the long haul and getting through tough times. In his wisdom my father shared that a commitment was not something you set and forget. It takes thoughtfulness, care and nurturing. He told me that he chooses my mother every day when he wakes up. He recommits himself to her every day. That’s the kind of love we need to have for ourselves as well. We need to choose ourselves every day. Every day, regardless of how you feel, you need to commit to honoring your relationship with yourself. This is how you develop self-worth and personal power. You are worth the commitment. If you enjoyed this episode subscribe in iTunes or Stitcher Radio and never miss out on inspiration and community! https://womentakingthelead.com/commit-to-you/

Ep. 35: In the first of four episodes about the Four Tendencies framework, we talk about "Upholders." Also, Elizabeth misses the blood moon and Gretchen recommends a Jewel video. Want to get in touch? @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com; happiercast.com/35; 774-277-9336. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices