erry Maguire movie review starring Tom Cruise, Renee Zellweger, Cuba Gooding Jr., Jonathan Lipnicki and more; The 90s references in this film are insane; Tom Cruise intimacy scenes are so cringy; The timing didn't make sense; Where is human resources department at SMI; Rod Tidwell's injury doesn't sit right with Judd; How is he broke during this movie and more statements; Plus is this a Rom Com or a sports movie? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
SMI and Impact support week!
Schizophrenia: Three Moms in the Trenches
We interview the author of Safe, Wanted and Loved - (Patrick Dylan)Winner of seven awards, including a National Indie Excellence Award and Best Indie Book Award."Anyone out there struggling to navigate mental illness should read this thoughtful book."—Former U.S. Rep. Patrick J. Kennedy, founder of the Kennedy Forum "Pat, we need to kill the dog." A chill ran down Patrick Dylan's spine as his wife spoke—psychosis had found their family again.When a sudden mental illness struck his wife, Patrick Dylan found himself living with an eerie stranger. Scared and unprepared, he began a desperate battle to protect her from a mysterious disease, shelter their children from her bizarre behavior, and recover the woman he loved.Patrick Dylan joins the voices calling for an end to the stigma surrounding mental illness. He and his wife, Mia, live in Florida and have two college-age children. They hope that sharing their family's story will spread awareness of the realities of mental illness and offer support to others who are either experiencing a mental health crisis or providing care to an affected loved one.We Ask:Before you share your story, can you tell us what you most hope people learn from hearing it?So - tell us about Mia and your family, “before” during, and “after”? How has her illness affected your kids?We know SMI from a parental POV - what would you most like our listeners to know about what's the same, and different, when it's your spouse that becomes ill?You used pen names for yourself and for Mia, yet were amazed at how many were inspired to share their own stories. - What is your dream in fighting stigma? -What do you most worry about?What are Mia's strengths?What do you wish you had known earlier?What else do you want us to know?Links:https://www.safewantedloved.com/Audiobook: https://www.audible.com/pd/Safe-Wanted-and-Loved-Audiobook/B0B7VLPJFY?action_code=ASSGB149080119000H&share_location=pdpAmazon:https://a.co/d/9uIxFtaMindy and her book: https://mindygreiling.com/Randye and her book: https://benbehindhisvoices.com/Miriam and her book: https://www.miriam-feldman.com/Hosts: Randye Kaye - was a morning Radio Personality bringing humor to CT families when her own son was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Now she is still a Broadcaster, Actress, Voice Talent, Speaker, and Author (Ben Behind his Voices, Happier Made Simple)Miriam Feldman - is an artist, writer, and the mother of an adult son with schizophrenia. Her book, He Came in With It chronicles her family's story and was released to rave reviews on July 21st, 2020.Mindy Greiling - Mindy Greiling was a member of the Minnesota House of Representatives for twenty years. She helped found the nation's first state mental health caucus, which successfully lobbied for a significant increase in Minnesota's mental health funding Her acclaimed memoir is Fix What You Can.
The world is full of useless information. Some of it's fun to learn, but it won't help you reach your goals, especially your investing goals. So we'll talk with Mark Biller about some things that ARE worth knowing, today on Faith and Finance.Mark Biller is executive editor at Sound Mind Investing.On this episode, we dig into a recent article in the SMI newsletter called “Things Worth Knowing.”We'll start with a question: What is the #1 financial mistake many Christians make?In our opinion, the answer is: They ignore biblical wisdom when managing their money and follow secular advice instead. And a lot of that secular advice— the things you hear on financial shows, for example, is relatively useless information. And sometimes it's even worse than useless because it can cause you to make mistakes with your investing.SMI has long taught that when you use God's protective biblical principles as a guide, you'll manage your money more wisely and glorify God at the same time.SMI's founder, Austin Pryor, came by this knowledge the hard way. He tells about how from the early 1970s through the mid-80s, he relied primarily on his own skills and intellect for making financial and investing decisions. He had a lot of success but also a lot of failures relying on himself and his own wisdom.By the late 80s, Austin faced up to his limitations and turned to the teachings of his longtime friend Larry Burkett, who many of your listeners were very familiar with, as he'd become a leading voice on the importance of Christians applying Biblical wisdom to managing their finances.Long story short, getting in sync with God's ways instead of his own laid a foundation for Austin's future financial success, and that experience more than 30 years ago still influences the content that SMI publishes to this day.SMI views its teaching as a discipleship tool with a specialized focus that comes out of Ephesians 4: to “prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up…and become mature” (Ephesians 4:12-13).Within the personal finance arena, that means learning to set financial priorities that honor God and point toward the attainment of God-given goals. And given THAT, the things really worth knowing are, first and foremost, rooted in God's Word.KEY SCRIPTURESHere are some key verses that help SMI decide what information is important and worth knowing:2 Timothy 3:16, tells us that “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” So the starting point is looking primarily to God's wisdom, found in His word, rather than the world's conventional wisdom, for principles to guide our financial decision-making.1 Corinthians 4:2 tells us “Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful”. It's worth knowing that we each have to take personal responsibility for making knowledgeable, biblically consistent financial decisions. If we don't know how to do that, we need to get help - whether that's from a service like SMI or finding an advisor who can assist us. But even then, we're still ultimately responsible for our financial decisions.The next group in the article touches on core tenets of biblical financial stewardship.CORE TENETS OF BIBLICAL STEWARDSHIP“The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is a servant to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7). It's worth knowing that debt can be enslaving and that we should avoid it as much as possible.“In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has” (Proverbs 21:20). It's worth knowing that maintaining a proper balance between current spending and long-term saving is a sign of wisdom.“The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty” (Proverbs 21:5). It's worth knowing we should consistently invest from a carefully considered strategy rather than making decisions impulsively on a case-by-case basis.“Divide your portion to seven, or even to eight, for you do not know what misfortune may occur on the earth” (Ecclesiastes 11:2). It's worth knowing that we should rely on diversification — rather than a preoccupation with market cycles — as a means of controlling risk and protecting our capital.“Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint” (Proverbs 23:4). It's worth knowing that we must be on guard against greed and spending all our energies in a futile attempt to constantly get more, whether that's always striving for more in our careers and work, or being overly focused on the highest possible returns. What can someone expect to experience when they follow these principles?As you “renew your mind” with these guiding precepts, you can apply them to help you make the day-to-day financial decisions that everyone faces. If you follow them consistently, you can have confidence that, whatever the short-term sacrifices may be, you're making wise spending, saving, and investing choices. That frees you to leave the results with God, knowing that as First Timothy 6 says, “Godliness with contentment is great gain”.On this program, Rob also answers listener questions: When should you keep money in a CD? What's the right budget percentage for spending on groceries and household itemRESOURCES MENTIONED:MarcusRemember, you can call in to ask your questions most days at (800) 525-7000. Also, visit our website at FaithFi.com where you can join the FaithFi Community, and give as we expand our outreach.
Samir is on a mission with his team at firsthand to change the way that individuals who struggle with serious mental illness (SMI) access care and support. Severe mental illness (SMI) is defined as mental/behavioral health issues that cause functional impairment by limiting one or more major life activities (schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, etc.) firsthand helps SMI patients engage with the healthcare ecosystem by focusing on delivering real outcomes for a population that has historically been underserved, stigmatized, and deprioritized. In fact, only 64.5% of adults living with SMI received treatment last year. firsthand was founded in 2021 and recently raised 30 million in series B funding led by Google Ventures. In this episode, Samir talks about his path to entrepreneurship, being a serial entrepreneur, how he started firsthand, and his advice for founders in healthcare.
Schizophrenia: Three Moms in the Trenches
Social worker by heart, therapist by trade, Kat Thompson earned her MSW in 2022. She's a mental health professional specializing in helping those in crisis. She also is a founder of Cascadia Cares ,”:building a world where it's normal to help others.” 1. Tell us what a case manager's scope of work and responsibilities are.2. What made you want to pursue this line of work?3. What do you believe are the most challenging aspects of dealing with people who have SMI?4. What changes would you most like to see in the system?5. What is the hardest thing about your work?6. How do you find the job as crisis line counselor as compared to case manager?7. Tell us what else you are doing (ie. your non-profit and political work) and how it fits in to the big picture.8. If there was one message you'd like to get across about mental health/illness and the system, what would it be?9. what kind of training you received before each of your positions?Links:https://cascadiacares.org/Hope for Troubled Minds: https://delightindisorder.org/hftm-call-for-submissions/Mindy and her book: https://mindygreiling.com/Randye and her book: https://benbehindhisvoices.com/Miriam and her book: https://www.miriam-feldman.com/ Hosts: Randye Kaye - was a morning Radio Personality bringing humor to CT families when her own son was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Now she is still a Broadcaster, Actress, Voice Talent, Speaker, and Author (Ben Behind his Voices, Happier Made Simple)Miriam Feldman - is an artist, writer, and the mother of an adult son with schizophrenia. Her book, He Came in With It chronicles her family's story and was released to rave reviews on July 21st, 2020.Mindy Greiling - Mindy Greiling was a member of the Minnesota House of Representatives for twenty years. She helped found the nation's first state mental health caucus, which successfully lobbied for a significant increase in Minnesota's mental health funding Her acclaimed memoir is Fix What You Can.
Welcome to The Nonlinear Library, where we use Text-to-Speech software to convert the best writing from the Rationalist and EA communities into audio. This is: [Linkpost] Sam Altman's 2015 Blog Posts Machine Intelligence Parts 1 & 2, published by Olivia Jimenez on April 28, 2023 on LessWrong. I'm often surprised more people haven't read Open AI CEO Sam Altman's 2015 blog posts Machine Intelligence Part 1 & Part 2. In my opinion, they contain some of the most strong, direct, and clear articulations of why AGI is dangerous from a person at an AGI company. (Note that the posts were published before OpenAI was founded. There's a helpful wiki of OpenAI history here.) Hence: a linkpost. I've copied both posts directly below for convenience. I've also bolded a few of the lines I found especially noteworthy. Machine intelligence, part 1 This is going to be a two-part post—one on why machine intelligence is something we should be afraid of, and one on what we should do about it. If you're already afraid of machine intelligence, you can skip this one and read the second post tomorrow—I was planning to only write part 2, but when I asked a few people to read drafts it became clear I needed part 1. WHY YOU SHOULD FEAR MACHINE INTELLIGENCE Development of superhuman machine intelligence (SMI)  is probably the greatest threat to the continued existence of humanity. There are other threats that I think are more certain to happen (for example, an engineered virus with a long incubation period and a high mortality rate) but are unlikely to destroy every human in the universe in the way that SMI could. Also, most of these other big threats are already widely feared. It is extremely hard to put a timeframe on when this will happen (more on this later), and it certainly feels to most people working in the field that it's still many, many years away. But it's also extremely hard to believe that it isn't very likely that it will happen at some point. SMI does not have to be the inherently evil sci-fi version to kill us all. A more probable scenario is that it simply doesn't care about us much either way, but in an effort to accomplish some other goal (most goals, if you think about them long enough, could make use of resources currently being used by humans) wipes us out. Certain goals, like self-preservation, could clearly benefit from no humans. We wash our hands not because we actively wish ill towards the bacteria and viruses on them, but because we don't want them to get in the way of our plans. (Incidentally, Nick Bostrom's excellent book “Superintelligence” is the best thing I've seen on this topic. It is well worth a read.) Most machine intelligence development involves a “fitness function”—something the program tries to optimize. At some point, someone will probably try to give a program the fitness function of “survive and reproduce”. Even if not, it will likely be a useful subgoal of many other fitness functions. It worked well for biological life. Unfortunately for us, one thing I learned when I was a student in the Stanford AI lab is that programs often achieve their fitness function in unpredicted ways. Evolution will continue forward, and if humans are no longer the most-fit species, we may go away. In some sense, this is the system working as designed. But as a human programmed to survive and reproduce, I feel we should fight it. How can we survive the development of SMI? It may not be possible. One of my top 4 favorite explanations for the Fermi paradox is that biological intelligence always eventually creates machine intelligence, which wipes out biological life and then for some reason decides to makes itself undetectable. It's very hard to know how close we are to machine intelligence surpassing human intelligence. Progression of machine intelligence is a double exponential function; human-written programs and computing power are getting better at an exponential rate, and self-learning/self-improving software will improve i...
Ransquawk Rundown, Daily Podcast
European bourses are under pressure continuing the APAC handover with drivers light ex-earnings.SMI outperforms following Nestle, Novartis and ABB while Banking names lag after UBS and Santander.Stateside, futures are lower; FRC -19.5% in pre-market as deposits miss expectation.DXY firmer but at the mid-point of the day's range with JPY outperforming while AUD lags once againCore debt is bid across the board with USTs picking up further after a 10k 5yr block tradeCommodities choppy with Crude and Spot Gold contained/slightly softer while base metals languish.Looking ahead, highlights include US New Home Sales. Supply from the US. Earnings from Alphabet, McDonald's, Microsoft, Verizon & Visa.Read the full report covering Equities, Forex, Fixed Income, Commodites and more on Newsquawk
Episode 136: Street Med 2. Future Dr. Bedi presents the history and purpose of street medicine and shares why she became interested in this topic. Dr. Saito tells his personal experience and shares the particular challenges of unhoused patients.Written by Indudeep Bedi, OMS III, MSIII, Western University of Health Sciences. Comments by Steven Saito, MD. You are listening to Rio Bravo qWeek Podcast, your weekly dose of knowledge brought to you by the Rio Bravo Family Medicine Residency Program from Bakersfield, California, a UCLA-affiliated program sponsored by Clinica Sierra Vista, Let Us Be Your Healthcare Home. This podcast was created for educational purposes only. Visit your primary care provider for additional medical advice.Indu: I want to talk about street medicine in some general terms, as well as Tracy Kidder's article published in the NYT this year, called "You have to learn to listen," which is based on Kidder's book Rough Sleepers, on Dr. Jim O'Connell's work with the Boston homeless community. Dr. Saito: Let's start by talking about street medicine in general. What exactly is street medicine? Street medicine was a term coined by Dr. Jim Withers, from Pittsburgh, who has been practicing the art since the 90s. He founded the Street Medicine Institute (SMI) in 2009, which strives to connect providers worldwide to address homelessness. Providers practice healthcare, of course, but first and foremost, it is about building relationships and demonstrating you are one of them instead of the power differential that usually exists in our system. It requires a paradigm shift, and it's a shift in thinking. Dr. Jim Withers himself, for example, began to wear ragged clothes and put dirt in his hair to show these vulnerable individuals that he was accepting of who they were and respected them for it. In return, they respected him. Dr. Saito: Do you know of other programs which exist? There are a bunch of programs now that have spurred up, such as Doctors without Walls, San Francisco's community health center, of course, are very own CSV, and the Boston Pine Street shelter, which I will talk about more. The SMI publishes an annual report, and there are about 50 independent street medicine programs nationwide. Many global programs have sprung up, too. An international street medicine symposium was founded in 2005. In general, this is an excellent community of providers who can share best practices regarding this unique population. Even a student coalition at the SMI helps get student-run programs off the ground. Dr. Saito: What is one of the homeless community's biggest problems? That is a tricky question because of the complexity surrounding this issue. I will tackle this by answering that housing is one of the most considerable problems. The housing may be either transitional or permanent. Transitional operates to get the individual immediately off the street. In contrast, permanent housing takes longer to find, but many charities have bought real estate to create permanent housing. Permanent housing also includes the individual being vetted, in a lot of cases, to make sure that they will do okay if they have a place of their own. Are they able to be independent? Can they pay rent? Do they have a job? In 2009, however, a new program was implemented known as Housing First. This social program provided "a no-strings-attached" housing to the homeless population with substance use and mental health problems. What was great about this program is it was found that the relapse rate was much lower in this population when compared with other programs. In 2018, however, due to gentrification and rent increases, there was a very steep rise in homelessness in cities on the west coast, such as Seattle, San Francisco, and Los Angeles. To combat this, many state-wide programs were established that work with healthcare providers to provide these individuals with the help they need. Dr. Saito: What is the article "You have to learn to listen" about?I would first like to read a short excerpt from the article: "In American cities, visions of the miseries that accompany homelessness confront us every day — bodies lying in doorways, women standing on corners with their imploring cardboard signs dissolving in the rain. And yet, through a curious sleight of mind, we step over the bodies, drive past the mendicants, return to our own problems. O'Connell had spent decades returning, over and over, to the places that the rest of us rush by." Dr. O'Connell completed his IM residency at Mass General in Boston and was about to move on to an oncology fellowship when he was approached by some colleagues with a request to take a position as a physician for one year in a grant-funded program from the city of Boston to address homelessness in the 1980s. The program operated outside of Pine Street Inn homeless shelter. One of the initial experiences that Kidder describes Dr. O'Connell having was his first day of being there, being surrounded by stern-faced nurses who obviously knew more than he did about this niche population. He really had to prove himself to them and the individuals who were homeless. Soon after he joined, Dr. O'Connell met a nurse by the name of Barbara McInnis, who told him, "I really think we want doctors, but you've been trained all wrong. If you come in with your doctor questions, you won't learn anything. You have to learn to listen to these patients." Nurse McInnis also taught Dr. O'Connell a common practice at their shelter, which was to soak patients' feet by filling a tub and pouring in betadine, as a lot of the population did not have footwear. This reflection of "placing the doctor at the feet of the people he was trying to serve" is beautiful. That is precisely what street medicine is about. Dr. O'Connell has been managing the street medicine program at Pine Street since then, and that oncology fellowship remains forgotten. The program he is a part of now has 19 other shelters in order to tackle Boston's growing homelessness problem. However, it was apparent to Dr. O'Connell a few years in that these shelters were not really making a difference in terms of curbing the amount of homelessness. That problem was still continuing to grow. In addition, many other systemic issues were leading to the rise in homelessness, such as the AIDS epidemic around the time, lack of welfare programs, gentrifications, etc. But the difference was being made in the sense that these individuals who had been pushed to the margins, who were overlooked, and who were in essence burned by the healthcare system in one way or another and highly suspicious of providers for that reason, were now able to be coaxed into receiving and accepting the help they needed. This was done by, as said previously, placing the physician at the feet of the people he was trying to serve.Over the years, the program continues to grow and even created a new clinic with beds, offering housing vouchers, but it also faces other problems, such as funding and efficiency. A significant focus for the homeless community is housing options. And most people will do really well after being housed, while for others, finding housing brings more troubles with it when they need to be continuously moved from home to home to avoid eviction. I think a lot of it has to do with the lack of resources that come with housing. Homelessness is so complex that finding a home is simply not enough, and these individuals can again fall through the cracks if those other issues are not addressed. While street medicine does a lot of good, it is a harsh reality that individuals have a low life expectancy and will die of this homelessness because of the other issues that remain a constant in their lives, such as substance use, HIV, AIDS, and mental health issues. Dr. Saito: How did you come to be interested in this topic?I have been interested in street medicine for a while now. I volunteered in some projects that exposed me to the perils facing the population, especially for addiction. For example, I had an excellent opportunity to work with an organization that would put up tents to test the communities for HIV and connect them with resources if needed. We would specifically go to the areas where people who were homeless or of low SES tended to congregate. I really started to think about it more recently when I encountered a patient on the Infectious Disease service who was incredibly complex in an immunocompromised state due to AIDS, with multiple hospitalizations and pretty much every infection under the sun. He was what we commonly refer to as non-compliant because of substance use, and whenever we found placement for him upon discharge, he would run away from that home. I think, as providers, we are very quick to judge and label patients as non-compliant without pausing to understand the nuances of their condition. He would later continually return to the hospital in an acute exacerbation of his illness. With each hospitalization, his baseline continues to worsen. And I was deeply saddened to come across such a patient and also recognized within myself this frustration with the system in which we operate. I am a bit despondent about his outlook, and the work of the CSV team is critical to these rough sleepers. ____________________Conclusion: Now we conclude episode number 136, “Street Med 2.” Future Dr. Bide recounted the experience of Dr. O' Connell and some of the challenges faced by our unhoused patients. Dr. Saito added his personal experience and reminded us that compliance with medications may be difficult in unhoused patients. Here in Clinica Sierra Vista, we are proud of our street medicine program, and we hope many more volunteers would join us in our mission to bring “health for all.”This week we thank Indudeep Bedi, Steven Saito, and Hector Arreaza. Audio editing by Adrianne Silva.Even without trying, every night you go to bed a little wiser. Thanks for listening to Rio Bravo qWeek Podcast. We want to hear from you, send us an email at RioBravoqWeek@clinicasierravista.org, or visit our website riobravofmrp.org/qweek. See you next week! _____________________References:Meyers, T. (2022) Understanding the practice of Street Medicine, Direct Relief. Direct Relief. Available at: https://www.directrelief.org/2022/02/understanding-the-practice-of-street-medicine/.Balasuriya, L. and Dixon, L.B. (2021) Homelessness and mental health: Part 2. The impact of housing interventions. Psychiatry Online. Available at: https://ps.psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/appi.ps.72504.Atherton, I. and Nicholls, C.M.N. (2012) Housing first as a means of addressing multiple needs and homelessness. European Journal of Homelessness. European Observatory on Homelessness. Available at: https://dspace.stir.ac.uk/handle/1893/9035#.ZCRWKBXMKdY.Kidder, T. (2023) You have to learn to listen: How a doctor cares for Boston's homeless. The New York Times. Available at: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/05/magazine/boston-homeless-dr-jim-oconnell.html.Street Medicine Institute Annual Report (2021). Street Medicine Institute. Available at: https://stmi.memberclicks.net/assets/AnnualReport/Street%20Medicine%20Institute%202021%20Annual%20Report.pdf.Royalty-free music used for this episode: “Gushito - Burn Flow." Downloaded on October 13, 2022, from https://www.videvo.net/
Schizophrenia: Three Moms in the Trenches
Leah Brennan. a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Certified Alcohol and Other Drug Counselor, joined us with her own questions in Episode 55 so as to improve therapist-family communication. Her Episode had such a great response that listeners asked for more - so here it is!Leah got connected to 3 Moms In the Trenches through her clients. Over the past five years, she has had four different parents on her caseload who were all confronting the reality that their sons met the criteria for a diagnosis of schizophrenia.Leah realized that despite her excellent training, she was not adequately equipped to help these parents navigate the challenges they were facing. Today Leah asks the questions she didn't get to include in the last episode that all center around the theme: "What Do Parents/Families Wish Their Therapist Knew About Schizophrenia?"The discussion includes:Marijuana and Schizophrenia - what do we now know? What do families need to know.Can needs to be done about HIPAA?How can we better approach families with a possible early diagnosis, and why?What about recent moves to legislate involuntary intervention?Who should therapists alert and educate in the larger communities BEFORE kids reach the age when symptoms of SMI typically start to manifest?Links:Leah Brennan:https://www.leahbrennantherapy.com/mentioned in show:Hope for Troubled Minds Project.WHO: Those with brain illnesses or other mental health conditions and their loved ones.WHAT: Submit a 1,000 word or less letter expressing gratitude for your loved one or the one you care for in spite of the circumstances.WHY: Letters can promote a healing journey and also serve for advocacy as we humanize the issue of brain illness.WHERE: Email it, along with a photo or image and an (optional) brief bio to me at: firstname.lastname@example.org .Mindy and her book: https://mindygreiling.com/Randye and her book: https://benbehindhisvoices.com/Miriam and her book: https://www.miriam-feldman.com/Hosts:Who:Randye Kaye - was a morning Radio Personality bringing humor to CT families when her own son was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Now she is still a Broadcaster, Actress, Voice Talent, Speaker, and Author (Ben Behind his Voices, Happier Made Simple)Miriam Feldman - is an artist, writer, and the mother of an adult son with schizophrenia. Her book, He Came in With It chronicles her family's story and was released to rave reviews on July 21st, 2020.Mindy Greiling - Mindy Greiling was a member of the Minnesota House of Representatives for twenty years. She helped found the nation's first state mental health caucus, which successfully lobbied for a significant increase in Minnesota's mental health funding Her acclaimed memoir is Fix What You Can.
INTRODUCTION: In this episode I give you an unanticipated update about my healing from my breakup with a narcissist and how Dungeons & Dragons inspired me to write a journal entry in this same regard. I know weird right? #ILIVEFORTHIS INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE (But not limited to): · The Benefits Of Writing & Journaling· Stop Following Behind The Narcissist · God Speaks Through Movies· KARMA Is Real· Why Argue? Just why though?????· Reprobate Minds· Spiritual Understanding· There Are No Secrets· Relationship Burden Must Be Borne By ALL· Give Yourself Some Kudos CONNECT WITH DE'VANNON: Website: https://www.SexDrugsAndJesus.comWebsite: https://www.DownUnderApparel.comTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexdrugsandjesusYouTube: https://bit.ly/3daTqCMFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/SexDrugsAndJesus/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexdrugsandjesuspodcast/Twitter: https://twitter.com/TabooTopixLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/devannonPinterest: https://www.pinterest.es/SexDrugsAndJesus/_saved/Email: DeVannon@SDJPodcast.com DE'VANNON'S RECOMMENDATIONS: · Pray Away Documentary (NETFLIX)o https://www.netflix.com/title/81040370o TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_CqGVfxEs · OverviewBible (Jeffrey Kranz)o https://overviewbible.como https://www.youtube.com/c/OverviewBible · Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed (Documentary)o https://press.discoveryplus.com/lifestyle/discovery-announces-key-participants-featured-in-upcoming-expose-of-the-hillsong-church-controversy-hillsong-a-megachurch-exposed/ · Leaving Hillsong Podcast With Tanya Levino https://leavinghillsong.podbean.com · Upwork: https://www.upwork.com· FreeUp: https://freeup.net VETERAN'S SERVICE ORGANIZATIONS · Disabled American Veterans (DAV): https://www.dav.org· American Legion: https://www.legion.org · What The World Needs Now (Dionne Warwick): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfHAs9cdTqg INTERESTED IN PODCASTING OR BEING A GUEST?: · PodMatch is awesome! This application streamlines the process of finding guests for your show and also helps you find shows to be a guest on. The PodMatch Community is a part of this and that is where you can ask questions and get help from an entire network of people so that you save both money and time on your podcasting journey.https://podmatch.com/signup/devannon TRANSCRIPT: Solo Dolo: Heartbreak Update + $925.56 Of Unpaid Debt + Dungeons & DragonsDe'Vannon: [00:00:00] Hello, hello, hello everyone and welcome back to the Sex Drugs in Jesus podcast. I'm your host Devan and Hubert, and I'm here with an update today about how I'm feeling dealing with this breakup. And we're gonna talk a little bit about journaling and ironically enough, Dungeons and Dragons as well. SoYeah, then I have my trustee and I guess a little bit crusty Red Journal here. As you can see, I've had this thing since 2013. So you know, I think she's holding up pretty fucking good if I do say so myself. So I, so me and me and me and this new friend of mine, his name is land. Beautiful man, beautiful soul, beautiful [00:01:00] heart.We went to go see Dungeons and Dragons the other day, and let me see, I wrote this on April the third, so I think we went to go see this on Monday. I hadn't journaled in like a while. While, and I, when I got home, I sat down and took a few hours to, to write about the way this movie this movie had inspired me Journaling is one of those things that's super healing in a, in a, in a very unique and strange way. There is a connection between the, the mind, the brain, and writing things physically down, not taking notes and whatever electronic device you have is not the same. It's like in hypnotherapy, I learned, you know, when we would have a client come in or, or something like that, we would have them write physically with, you know, like, like a pen, a [00:02:00] pencil, something like that, right Out what, whatever it would be in cursive.And we could tell so much about, you know, a client before they even said anything, just by getting a writing sample from them. I think, if I'm not mistaken, it had to be in 10. I don't know if they could use pencil. It was one or the other. Don't quote me on that, but but there's something about writing it just, I was almost like, you, you know, you're putting your, your soul down on paper.That's why, you know, you know, you can be tracked like by your handwriting. You know, handwriting specialist can tell is really your signature. If you really wrote this, you know, writing is like, kind of like a d n A as, as a technology. Age moves on and people write less and less and less physically with their hands, right?Less and less, you know, in schools you would've electronics, you know, over the place. Now who even needs a pen or a pencil anymore? You know, but we're, but we're losing a part of our, [00:03:00]our soul. Okay, by not getting back to the basics of just putting a a pen to paper, there's a lot to it. And journaling helps you to get your, your soul down on paper.It helps to alleviate weight off the brain. Cuz it's like, once you, for me, once I take it outta my head and put it on paper, it just helps, it just helps me to feel like maybe like this journal is helping to, to, to shoulder some of this burden for me. It's like my, it's like my little helper buddy. So,so I'll just start reading it and we'll just see how this thing goes. And, and overall, just, just so you kind of know a little bit of what's coming, it felt like, it felt like God was speaking to me through [00:04:00]this movie and particularly, This relationship that I just had to, to end and get away from so I wouldn't lose, you know, my mind completely.And I've been preaching this for years, you know, you know, God speaks to us in many different ways, you know, through movies, through shows, through television. And I really, really wish people would, would watch them, you know, for entertainment. Sure. But then also consider, you know, what are the real life implications here?What are the spiritual implications here? Are there any afterlife indications here? You know, that way, that way we're really gleaning from every experience that we have, all the theories to it, other than, whoa, that was tingling. It made my my flesh feel good for a moment. You know, what can we actually learn here and do something with on a more perpetual basis?And so I try to look beneath the surface in most things. Let me see here [00:05:00] today. Today I sent what I considered to be the final communications between me and the ex. In these messages, I berated him for failing to honor his word in terms of payments slash reparations. Okay, so let me explain to you what this is.I already had a running tally of, of money that, like I said, we'll just call him Ethan owed me this tally started that morning that we got back from New Orleans. You know, and his drunk ass, you know, took an Uber all the way from New Orleans back to Baton Rouge. That's like pretty much like at least an hour, because he was, you know, in that state of mind, come back to my house.He ends up hitting my car with his car, you know, you know, et cetera, et cetera. And so, And so begins the tally, you know, him paying me back, you know, for [00:06:00] all these things. That's the same morning I found out about you know, him and his secret fuck boy he's running around with and getting smoking weed with because, you know, he pretty much left here from hitting my car to go over and hang out with his secret fuck, fuck friend.Okay. And and and so I started like a running, like iPhone shared note and then as, as time goes on and I started learning more about his lies and his hoing around and everything like that, you know, I i's added more to it. I was like, you know, $500 ho fee or whatever the case may be. You know, trying to like find a way to balance it out.Did I ever really expect him to fulfill his word and do it? [00:07:00] Nah, not really. But if he, if there was ever gonna be a chance or a shot that, that, that, that, boy, you know, that, that that foolish boy would've ever been able to stay in my life, it would've had to cost him dearly. You know? And one thing I know, you know, pretty much every human likes money, you know, and they will stake, you know, people will try a lot harder to, and be more consistent going to work and making money, you know, than they will with, you know, like being that consistent in that dedicated to their significant relationships, supposedly significant relationships.And so, like, people will be late, they go meet their friends or to, to be anywhere, but they won't be late to go. To a place of employment that's gonna pay them. And then you got some people who are late to work all the time. But you know, if you, if they're late for work all the time, then they're [00:08:00] also gonna be late for their friends and late to church and every damn where else to go.And they're just late across the board. But when I can evaluate you and see that you're just late for me and not when you go over here and over there, but then this is something that, this is a way that you're disrespecting me. Cuz it's not that you're just late all the time, it's just over here, you know?So, and some might look at the list of charges that I levied against him and hell let me, let me just pull the damn list up. You know, I done said everything else at this point in my life. And if it's not being stated, you know, It'll be written. So yeah, it was like, you know, $775 for the car, another 380, 4 [00:09:00] 90 for the rental car.You know, 1 7 23, 500 bucks for yet another lie. How long he was with the fuckboy? You know, first he lied and said he had just met them and they hung out one time. Then he said, oh, well really it's two. Oh, nevermind. Actually it was four times we started hanging out. You know, we've been hanging out basically since September and Really, oh, we, we used to sleep around in college.You know, my blood pressure was so damn high dealing with this nonsense. I don't have high blood pressure. My blood pressure be like one 15 over like, I don't know, 90 or some shit. This is not a plague. I got problems, but blood pressure ain't supposed to be one of 'em, so I had to go buy blood pressure machine.And that cause is on here.I wanted to read that. I said $500 for yet another lie, [00:10:00] how long you were with the fuckboy. Plus aggressively manipulating and attempting to reinforce your lies, which have been at least nine lies, and most of which have been told in the past two weeks from the 7th of January. Even as I, in good faith, tried to trust Ethan and move forward,even though he had told those lies and everything, I still tried to work with him. I tried to go over there and everything, and his fool just kept lying. I added $225 for appointments with the the counselor, the couple's counselor, which he went and lied. I was like, I've wasted my time, money, gas for you to come here and gaslight and lie, manipulate to not just me, but the therapist too.This like this. May as well have not as happened. Andso basically when it was all said and done, the last payment I got was on the 2nd of March [00:11:00]for $200, which left Ethan with a balance of 9 25 56. So basically it's like he decided he is not going to pay for being ahoe and for line. Okay.That's his choice. I just wanted, I just wanted to.To for y'all to get an idea of this. And so he knew what knew what all of this was written down. This wasn't a secret, and it's something that he also agreed to. If he didn't want to do this, then he should not have agreed to do it. If he changed his mind about it, then he should have reached out to me in law, levied his case and said, here is such and such, and this throughout the course of our relationship, he never could.He would sit there and agree to [00:12:00] something and then decide that he was averse to it, and then not come and tell me and then go off and do whatever the fuck he wanted to do. And when I began to track this consistently in him, I told him like, you're acting like you wanna be single. You can go and have that life.I made it so easy for him. I was like, if you want to go out there and sleep with people and not tell anyone where you're going, There are people out there who want that sort of open relationship, that don't care for transparency, who don't want to know. I ain't one of those people, you know, I wasn't like, don't go and do, but since what you're doing could affect my health, I need to know.And you haven't demonstrated that you conduct yourself responsibly in terms of the health angle, you know, when you're out there doing these things. And so then I told him all that and he was all like, no, I don't wanna be single. But you keep acting like you wanna be single something with narcissistic people.Their words don't mean how they sound their life and what they do. Don't add up to what they say. [00:13:00] You know? You know, if you want to go be a hogo, be a ho. You know, nobody's stopping you from doing that, but you're not gonna have me sitting in here, you know, with one set of facts and you have another set of facts.I think they get off on the secrecy of it all. But in the Bible it tells us that the Lord laughs at such people like this because he sees that their day is coming. You know, Like I stated, there was a, you know, I didn't know if we were still gonna be able to be friends or not. Throughout the month of January and a portion of February, I tried to hang out with the ex and and it just never felt right. There was still. So much anger for me, so much it is stress from him. We still can hang out one time without some sort of argument or whatever.Now that he's outta my life, there's nobody else that I argue with. [00:14:00] I refuse to have arguments and fights with people over what we have too many blessings and I mean, we can get up, stand on our own two feet. Most of us. We can talk, communicate, we can travel, we can explore sexually, we can make money, we can lose money, we can have hope that we can gain back and that's gonna be all right, or whatever the problem may be.You know, we, we have a lot of options. When I was in the military, I used to go and hang out. I used to go and hang out with kids in the hospitals who had cancer, teenagers in hospital who had cancer, who should be out exploring life and doing things. And instead, they literally can't leave their room.You know, because of something that's no fault of their own, you know, we, we have no reason to be sitting around arguing, you know, but where does arguing come from? People wanting to control people. People not able to [00:15:00] express themselves properly. People of all kind of hell and confusion, you know, up in them.You know, you ever just feel just drained and tired and worn out after an argument because that, that spirit is not of God. And we all know that, that, that the devil comes not but for it to steal and to kill and to destroy. And so if you've done anything and you just feel like, just ghosted and ravaged and drained by it, you might not want to do that anymore, or, you know, or work on, on skills to help you do it a lot less until you don't do it anymore.And so I had all kinds of like, anatomical reactions to this stress I had like this weird. It felt like a moving, trembling all over my body. I didn't know what the hell was going on. Asked the, asked the Department of Veterans Affairs for a new therapist to help me with this, which they still haven't done.And so child waiting, waiting on the VA to help you with mental health or really anything is, is dicey. Sometimes you gotta get out [00:16:00] and just go do it yourself. And so, so the last text that I got back from Ethan was, you know, if your new therapist, it can help you work through this, then that will be good.I'm sorry this has affected you. So after almost five years, this is the surface level sort of responses that I would get from him, you know, and I'm thankful that I'm no longer waiting for him to arrive for that relationship because he never did. You see how non-committal his response is? I'm sorry this has affected you.So, but not, there's no ownership in that. He's looking at the thing that happened to me as though it's apart from him. You know, he's looking at his cheating, his manipulation, his opening me up to diseases and things like that as something that is over there somewhere. You know, I'm sorry that that thing happened to you.Not that I did this to you. [00:17:00] You know, he could not say what he wanted or to have any sort of like, accountability, but he just thought of himself all the time. You know, I'm sorry, this has affected you. So, until the other day, you know, I responded. I didn't respond to that. I just, I hadn't heard from him in a month.I said that I, I can see that you have decided to cease payments since I have not received anything since three, two. I sent this on April the third. Nor heard from you in any way. This is yet another broken vow on your part from which you will not be released. You know, we can't go around making promises to people and then thinking we can just disappear.You know, like, like without explanation. Like, that's not gonna catch back up to us. You know, spiritually speaking, I'm not about to go fuck up his house, [00:18:00] car life or nothing like that. That will happen to him anyway. And so I said, since you have decided to take this route, there isn't anything left between us.I am not your friend. Whatever connections were between us are permanently broken. Things have to be stated. You know, you know, you break up with somebody that, that closure in some way. Like, are you gonna be friends? Are you not gonna be friends over completely? You know, like that I didn't know, you know, I knew enough.To know for sure, you know, the romance, you know, gone whatever. I was the one initiating any romance between us anyway. And you know, had he acted right and, and actually paid what he was supposed to pay, I would've been put in a position to keep kind of like a door open cuz he would've done right. You know, and actually fulfilled [00:19:00] a promise.So he could have come back to me and been like, okay, I did everything I'm supposed to do. What are the chances we could at least try to be, you know, I don't know how soon I would've been able to do that, but I also at the same time, couldn't have been like a hundred percent no, because I was still like, kind of like on the fence about that.But, you know, you since, you know, he disrespected me through the whole relationship, lied the whole time. And then at the end made one last promise, which nobody forced you to do. And so then he said, okay, I will. And so then he changed his mind. You know, he could have, you know, he could have just said, no, I don't feel like paying this. But you can't do that and still think that we're going to be okay. You know?[00:20:00]I didn't like having these things unstated. Now, when I broke up with him, it was in person, but this here, I wasn't going to pay him the honor. Of of being in my presence or spending any more time than necessary. All he all, and he didn't even deserve a text. I did this to free me. You know, I didn't do this for him, but I didn't want it any kind of like confusion about exactly where we standnow. He didn't respond to that text. I sent another one a couple hours later cuz I needed to clarify. I said, let me be clear, I'm not waiting or actually even expecting you to do what you promised, because promises are things you don't mind breaking and lies are things you don't mind speaking. In March, you probably got paid three times plus whatever other income, pause, say in March.Most people get like three checks [00:21:00] unless you're a salaried. If you're like hourly or every, you know, every other Friday, Thursday, whatever, then you get three check. So that's why I say in March you probably got paid three times plus whatever other income. The last time I knew besides the, the job that, that he had or has or whatever, he also had another job as a bartender, which I also helped him get working for the same company, which I had to stop working for because the money trail could not be traced, you know, at, at this last bar that I was working at.And it was like, you know, so I had to like, you know, walk away from there. And so so anyway, and so I said, you, you sent, I said you yet, you only sent one payment, then went silent as you gain, the more you did, less my cousin. And I will receive good for helping you get the [00:22:00] sources of income you currently have. You will reap every lie you ever told me, every broken vow, every broken promise, every bit of deception, all of your manipulations than all of your knowing and willing fakeness from the last four and a half years.And it will be bitter. And those are the last words that I said to him becausefinal words have to be spoken, but what a shame for something that was, that has so much potential to be, to have to end in such a way. Although at the same time when I tell him that all of this dirt that he's done is gonna come back to him, it's not gonna be through me directly. You know, I'm not going to.Go and do anything. I'm not gonna send anybody to go and do anything, you know, to him or anything like that. [00:23:00] Because I don't want that coming back to me. When I was in the military, you know, I had dated this girl for six months, you know, and I really wasn't straight, fully. I was still trying to like, sort myself out and figure myself out.And I was under the influence of the church. That was, I was in the Pentecostal church in the military and just super confused about my sexuality and what it was, and what myself and several, you know, guys have done. We go and get these women, we go get girlfriends, wives, have children, and set up this whole life that we think we're supposed to have.This is so damaging to those women. And no, I didn't marry her. I didn't have kids with her and it was six months, but still I fucked her over. You know, I hurt that girl. You know, and she was there under the spell of the church too, and they got these girls sold on this pipe dream that they gotta [00:24:00]get married.And if they don't, it's a problem and that they have kids. And if they don't, it's a problem. And it's like, I initiated the relationship with her, the conversation and everything, but when it was over, I did not tell her, Hey, it's officially over, it's done. And this is why. There was none of that. I just ghosted her and just disappeared like a coward.I didn't do right by her and I broke her heart and and was worse as I just like kind of left her guessing about it. You know, I got my, the relationship ended months, I think months before I got, got my orders to leave. Well hell to get out of the military right. Altogether. And so The confusion the church placed upon me and all of that is not is no excuse. [00:25:00] You know, at the end of the day, you know, God says whatever you sow, you reap. Even if you don't believe in God. Anybody who has like half a spiritual mind and contract the way they're on life is gone can understand that everything that you send out comes back to you, however you want to describe it.So when I tell my ex thatthe dirt that he done, done is not something, he's just gonna be able to poof, poof, be gone, he's not gonna be able to go have a happy life. This relationship with with Ethan was the first serious one of length that I tried to have since the sense that girl in the military and all the dirt that I did to her.Has come back to me through Ethan. So, so it, so it's not gonna be like a time of peace. And for [00:26:00] him, he's so rotten and tragic the way he's done. People, I'll say he's done people so rotten.Like e even e even even on his hookups and things like that. I mean, intentionally giving someone covid, you know, he's not gonna have peace in his fuck life. He's not gonna have peace if he ever tries to be serious with somebody. You know, at least not until, you know, cuz he is gonna have, he got a whole lot of dirt and karma that's gonna have to come back to him, you know?And so that is why I ended my communication with him Now, I didn't say, you know, don't ever talk to me again, or whatever the case may be. But my therapist have been telling me, at least for right now, that the, that the goal, like I can't sort out anything that has to do with him what, while trying to sort out myself.I think that that's pretty good advice and I think I'm going to [00:27:00] follow it. Let me get back to this journal entry. so it says, Landon and I went to go see Dungeons and Dragons. It was super great. It was a super great movie and Landon is super knowledgeable. He's land is like a dungeon master and everything. He's been at this a long time.Ironically enough, the only reason I was able to meet Landon and really talk to him and befriend him is because I'm no longer with Ethan. It's like ever since his relationship has ended, I can see the value and the benefits of it. I've gotten, you know, new friends, I've I've never lost touch with my friends.I'm not one of those people who believes I'm in a relationship now, so I'm gonna do less with my friends or not talk to them or whatever. So, I will say that my bond with my friends have been strengthened, you know, [00:28:00] because of everything that Ethan did, because it's like, it, it, it has, it has grown compassion towards me from people.And for people that I've already known in a way that, that I'd never seen from them before. Ethan plays Dungeon and Dragons, you know, it was I who took him to a, to this gaming store in town in order to push him to make friends and things like that. You know, and you know, he never invited me up there to play or anything like that because he is rude like that.But I'm saying all this to say when you lose one thing or you let one thing go, God is able to give you something better. So not only has Lane then already invited me to play, but you know, he's gonna [00:29:00] intentionally, you know, set up things for people who are not as experienced to be able to play and learn. I'm so happy that I was able to go and see this movie with Landon.And then we were able to have a, a, a deep conversation about what it means and what the game means and, just on like so many levels. It was peaceful energy between us and everything like that. And it was so nice to be able to go somewhere and do something without feeling like I had like a weight on my shoulder or somebody, you know, it was just so nice to enjoy this without tension.And so now was the time I warned you about spoilers. So spoiler, spoiler alert, there will be some teething spells. If you have not seen Dungeons and Dragons then you might wanna close your ears. So in this movie, one of the main villains who was a big old bold face liar, and as I was listening to the things he said, I saw my ex in him untruthful, [00:30:00] zero con, zero conscious, a truth breaker, all that, not able to be satisfied.One of his main lines was that, and this was towards the the end of the movie where, The villain. He, he takes this little girl and puts a knife to her, her throat and everything. And he had been lying to her for years about all kinds of stuff. And, and then, and what he said was, he said, he said he's willing to do terrible things in order to get what he wants, even if it means hurting the people closest to him in those who care about and love him the most.I felt like God was telling me that he sees my affliction and I felt vindicated later on. This same person tries to lie to get out of jail because his low down lying, weighs, finally caught up to him. Kind of like what's happening with Trump right now, [00:31:00] I really, really hope and pray that this thing that we see happening with Trump in the, in the, with his indictments starting to come in.Is, is an indication of God getting ready to, to shift his, his energies and attention towards making the narcissists in our lives pay for the things that they have done. You know, cuz they've, they've wel at ease before too long just hurting people and walking all over people and getting what they want and going home and laying down like they've done nothing wrong.You know, I asked the Lord to take peace away from everybody who has taken peace away from other people.And I'm like, but this, I, I said, and, and, and I thought, and I, I wonder if they followed my ex around to come up with this character because he is exactly like him. And Romans, [00:32:00] Romans in the Bible, Romans chapter one, speaks about people who have a reprobate mind. And people of a reprobate mind like to debate.I'm just, just took a, a few pieces from it. They like to debate, they like deceit. It says that people would reprobate minds or without understanding. It says they're covenant breakers, promise breakers, truth breakers. People who will say something and promise it and don't give a damn, or they just fucking don't do it.You know, implacable means that no matter what you do, they're, you're never gonna make them happy. There's always gonna be something wrong. A fly in the soup, on the, you know, whatever the hell the case may be murderers. And look, just because you haven't killed somebody physically doesn't mean that you haven't killed them.They're a, you know, you killing somebody's soul and spirit. They're breaking their [00:33:00] mind to all forms of death, you know? And the Bible says not only. Do theydo such things, but they have pleasure in them that do them.And so in other words,you know, liars, you know, tend to hang out with people who don't mind lying. They don'tlike, like it doesn't, how can I say this better? Like, it doesn't bother them. So like my, so like my ex and night, we were at the varsity at this club out by Louisiana State University and he comes tapping me on my shoulder telling me that this guy who he slept with before was there and wanted to have a three-way with us.Now it would be later [00:34:00] on that he would come to tell me that this was that same married guy. Who's running around cheating on his wife that, you know, and he wasn't gonna tell me that that night. Well, at that point we, we didn't have any kind of open relationship anyway, but, but when I read how people who have all of these, we'll just call them issues, have they, they do these things and they have pleasure in them that do them.Like, they don't mind this. I'm like, so you don't mind committing adultery? And you also don't mind the fact that this person is out here running around on, on his wife. Okay. When I first started having sex again after this rape hub, then like, I like, like I've, like I've been saying, it seems like the people out here, you know, you know, in, in, in this world have just gotten worse on these apps or, you know, especially on these apps.It's like they just got [00:35:00] darker as though they couldn't go any lower. I'm like one of the first people you know, married, you know, trying to, and I, and I told him, no, no. Go home to your wife. I'm like, does she know? No. She doesn't know why. I'm like, I'm like you, you are literally out here running around, you know, having raw sex with men and then going home to your wife and you're like, entertained by this.And just like the ex, oh, I'm working on it, you know, telling her I'm working on leaving, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Look, any, any kind of man who we, we we're not gonna call these people, men, any of these males who who have the capacity to to make you these, these vo these blank promises. Bitch, they're not about to do it.Whatever it is they're saying that they're gonna get to, they're not. If somebody's [00:36:00] gonna do some shit, it would've been done already. It's not gonna happen. They want you to just wait while they slow tro shit. They're not going to do it.It's like, that's like my, it is like my ex, who clearly has a sex addiction. It was like, what? Probably, I don't know, the end of January before I was like, okay, I'm like done, done with this. He still, and we, we had started going to Sex Addicts Anonymous, I think on the 1st of January or the 31st of December, something like that.It was like the at, at the last time that I, I communicated with him back at the beginning of March. He still didn't have a sponsor because he wasn't trying to get one. Talking about know, these things can't be rushed and whatever the case may be. And I'm like, no, you're not taking it seriously.You don't, you, you know, [00:37:00] he still wasn't ready to fully believe he had a problem, which is another reason why I had to get the hell away from him. You know, saying things like, maybe I'll just do,maybe I'll just do six other steps instead of the 12, 12 other steps. I'm like, this fool is really sitting here trying to trying to I don't know, trying to diminish from the problem. You know? Basically what he's saying is, I might be bad, but not bad enough, can need all of this, and we'll just see how it goes completely. Therefore, than somebody who understands that the things that they have done have cost them so much in life that they need to stop whatever they've been doing okay, however long it takes, and get their asses redirected.Not compromise. Trying to trying to make it not as intense as what it is, but over time, [00:38:00]people who have done bad things can, this, this, it has this diminishing effect where they won't view it as bad as time goes on, or they're trying to make light of it in their head. And, and I wasn't about to sit around while he did that.Now you've gone, I was like, fool, you've gone and done all this, had your secret men and lived deliciously. Now when it comes time to do the right thing, two months into it, you still don't have a sponsor. Once I've set my mind to get one, within two weeks I had a sponsor. It was really in, in the Sex Addicts Anonymous program.I wanna be sure that my ass isn't getting off track either. It really wasn't that complicated. You know, I sent a few emails to a few people. I attended the six or eight meetings or whatever they said that you needed to when it was done. So it was,so let me get back on track.[00:39:00]But they, but they have pleasure and, and, and and people that do these bad things. But in the Bible it speaks about how the Lord is gonna gather all of these people together who don't mind casting spells or throw stumbling blocks in people's spaces who don't mind running around having double lives, who don't mind at all.And look, I'm not whining and complaining because so much good is coming of this. I get in, I don't know, a car, a Lyft car to go to a theater performance. The lady's telling me all about her narcissistic husband. You know, I'm here, I'm there. I already have opportunities to be a blessing to people and the minister to people in all kinds of ways.And I'm happy to help, you know, in whatever way that I can, had this not happened, I would not have the opportunity to talk, to be sitting here talking with you about it. And it's painful to [00:40:00] me to see how many people have been affected by people like Ethan, but my God, these people who I'm talking to, were married to these people.There's children, there's deeper financial in interest. There's they've done been with these people like over like over 10 years and things like that. And it could have been so much worse. You know, Ethan wasn't living with me. We had no financial interest tied together. The credit cards I had given him, I took those bitches back.And along with everything else too. And so. So physically in every way, I was able to just pretty much just stop and walk away. But there's people who can't just do that. They have a lot more to un to disentangle and everything, and my heart goes out to you.But baby, just keep praying and keep working with it, even if it's a [00:41:00] little by little. And eventually you going, you, you, you gonna be all right. You gonna be all right. You'll be able to work your way up outta that thing.Now let me keep reading. It says, I never expected to ex exit fulfill his vows because he is a coward. He would sit there and agree to things, giving his word, then change his mind and tell, and, and not tell me,said, so this is on par for someone of such low character. He never even responded to the two texts I sent at all,and he was never the type to handle confrontation or deep discussion at all.Yet he can go out and get naked in front of people he barely knows.It's like how I was able to hear the [00:42:00] spirit speak to me through a movie at the cinema. I tried to teach the ex about looking past the surface of things in life to find the the real life messages God has put there for us.I now know that narcissists have zero interest in looking beneath the surface. They prefer shallow interactions that require no genuineness, like sex with people they barely know. For instance,when my ex and I would watch or whatever, I don't know, animes or whatever, you know, I wanted to have conversations about like, you know what it meant deeply. And to him this was such like a burden. He didn't see the sense, you know, and all this deep talk. He would say that I was being extra or trying to analyze him, or whatever the case may be.At the end of the day, if you just want a shallow existence, then just go have a shallow existence. And what I've learned through this is there are some people in this world [00:43:00] as deep as I try to be, you know, I ponder this life, the afterlife, what is to come, what is beyond the stars, you know, and things like that, you know?But at the same time, you know, if I wanna masturbate and watch porn and just have me a moment, I'll just have a moment. I consider myself to be fairly balanced. But what I was hitting on with, with, with him, with my ex was this, this pension he has to try to not be discovered. And I didn't understand just how.PE people like what narcissism really was. Otherwise, I would've thrown this relationship ago a long time ago because I never, I never was gonna get anywhere. He would make it such a big deal, you know, that, that I dare to want to go like deeper into something. And he just made it,[00:44:00]you know, I would notice him have like incognito mode windows in his phone and everything like that, and I'm all like, who are you hiding from to hide what? Nobody's coming to look through your phone. You don't go out even much talk to people or anything like that. I'm like, what are you trying to hide?One day he was standing in my kitchen and I, and I walked by him and I could sense that he hadn't been reading his Bible. I'm, explain to you what I mean by that. If you. It changes you. Any kind of spiritual thing you do changes like your, your vibration, your, your in inner strength and things like that.So reading your Bible, spending time in the presence of God, like that enhances you and it raises you up even if you don't understand everything that you're reading. It's like [00:45:00] my evangelist, whenever I would be in the military or off somewhere, you know, I talked to her and she'd be like, if I had been reading my Bible, she could tell.If I hadn't, she could tell. She'd be like, Hmm, you know, sounds like a cup half full. She told me one time. And when I hadn't really been, you know, spending time with the Lord you know, it's, it's, it's something that you are not gonna be able to understand or comprehend unless you have spiritual understanding. But we know the light shines and the darkness and the darkness com comprehends not. You know, this is why I tell you to pray for spiritual understanding. You're not going to grow spiritually, you know, or be able to comprehend, you know, really like what is to come.Okay? If you don't have spiritual understanding, spiritual understanding is different than natural understanding. [00:46:00] Spiritual understanding is how you understand, like the more you give away, the more you get car A caral. Mine doesn't comprehend that a caral mine wants to, to keep everything, but I could, but I could tell that, that he hadn't been reading his Bible and I said, Hmm, you know, I can, I can sense that you haven't been reading.He got offend. And it felt, felt like his privacy hadn't been violated. You know, like, like how do you know? You know, he, he asked me, he was like, how do you know that I haven't been reading my Bible? I was like, I can feel it. I can tell. And what he never could accept was that God, what he exposes you or whatever, and is bringing something up is not trying to hurt you.You know, he's trying to help you, you know, so the thing to do is not to go try to run from God. What you can't do anyway has already been spoken about, you know, in the Bible, how people, [00:47:00]you know, when they see the, see the Son of God returning in the clouds or go try to run from the wrath of the lamb and you're not gonna be able to do that.You know, there is no running and there are no secrets. So not really, there really aren't. And so he wasn't. And I've explained that, you know, he was so trying to hide. Like he couldn't, he couldn't, he could not accept the benefit of what the spirit was trying to speak to him for being so mad that his secret was out.You know, I'm like,you know, I think about other dreams that I've had or, or dreams that I've had about people where Lord has shown me things that they've gone and done, and I call them to talk about it. And their knee jerk reaction is to, to, to, to quiet me, to tell me, don't tell [00:48:00] anyone, or, you know, it's just like, the thing is, you, you, you might can hide stuff from like a human for a while, but when the, when the spirit is sending me to you to talk about whatever your secrets are.Or I, or I can, or in the case of my ex, I can sense if he's been doing his spiritual work or not. You, you know, y'all get mad at, at, at, at the people, at the prophets, the visionaries, whatever kind of label you wanna put on us, the dreamers, you know, which is what I am, you know, people hate us for our vision and things like that, but you missed the whole point.You know? Nothing has been revealed to me that I just, just knew. You know, you have to understand if, if you're angry at me, you know, for knowing that you haven't been reading your Bible. And really what you're saying is that you're angry at God. You know, if you're angry at angry at me for whatever dream I'm bringing to you, then you're angry at God.I'm [00:49:00] just the messenger, you know. You know, I can't just know, like it has a thing has to be revealed to me or shown to me. So the question you should be asking is, who told the van in this thing, which he's now coming to us with, you know, you know, or how can he sense this? You know, whenever I'm talking to somebody who's like a tarot car reader or some sort of clairvoyant, my main question is always from where do you draw your power?Dead relatives, a devil God, who the fuck is talking to you? Because I know that this human setting in front of me is nothing more than a conduit. You know? So whatever they're coming to me with, and it's not them telling me it's whatever spirit they're dealing with and operating with, telling me.But these narcissists, you know, they just, they just have a veneer that they hide behind. You know, it's like a mask that they wear.[00:50:00]Towards the end of the relationship, I'm began to be able to see this mass. The morning that I went over to my ex's house to start taking more of my shit back he was sitting in there playing video games. I had sent him a super emotionally charged text that morning, which he had not responded to. I had waited like two hours.He's an early riser. He was up the floor, had been mopped. He's sitting in there playing video games. I come in there and I immediately dive into my read. I saw when his, he immediately shifted into victim mode, you know, he was like, oh my gosh, I just got up. I haven't had chance to do anything. No, you've been up for hours to stop with a to stop.And so, but he immediately shifted and, and went and put himself back behind that mask, you know, cause I, I started reading his facial expression at the moment. I walked through the door. And he had one facial [00:51:00] expression for talking to his friends on, on the gaming console. And then with me, he shifted into a different personality.I'm not sure how many different personalities he has, but it's at least a few. I would see him shift and change into a different personality when he would try to get something from his mom. I remember hearing his voice change whenever he's in the presence of say, like a man or, you know, a male or a dude or, or, or something like that.It's like he becomes something different whenever he's in front of a different person in order to achieve what he wants or what he thinks should be, or maybe what he thinks they want him to be or whatever. But the whole point is none of it was real. It was all pretend. How did Lady Gaga say it wasn't love?It was a perfect illusion, mistaken for love.[00:52:00]So I said they prefer shallow interactions that require no genuineness, like sex with people they barely know. They have no idea what this is really costing them. Professor, and the Bible says it like this, professing themselves to become wise. They became fools. These narcissistic people who, who's sitting up here playing these games and lying to people, it's like they sit back and laugh.But like I said, God laughs at them because he sees that their day is coming. There's one guy I hooked up with back when I was in the military. He had sex with me and thought it was, I guess, comical to then call his girlfriend, which I didn't know he had, you know, from my house. Okay. You know, like immature that is like, [00:53:00] why would you, I guess, I guess he considers himself to be the man or whatever the hell the case may be.No, that's a broken soul and a broken fool. I'm like, you know, the lies they tell are just, I mean, there's no good lie, but, but it, it is just like, it's, it's coming from such a deep place of brokenness when it's so much easier to tell the truth. Like, if you gonna run around and cheat on your girl, that's terrible enough.Why do you have to add insulted injury to literally be on the phone with her while you're in the presence of somebody who you're cheating on her with?Like, how, like how can this make a per a hu a human feel good. That's just, I just, but like my therapist has been telling me it's a waste of my energy to ever try to understand the way manipulative and [00:54:00] narcissistic people operate, because I don't think that way. Like I could never do these things, but there are totally people who can do these things and they thrive in doing these things.And so y'all, we have to stop worrying about trying to understand why. They can't even tell you why. Used ask my ex, my ex, why the hell are you doing this and that. He'd be like, I don't know why I did it. I'd be like, why'd you say this? He'd be like, I don't know why I said it. I'd be like, okay,okay.And the Bible says it like this. It says they, they deceived and were deceived. Like I said, the, you know, the Lord is gathering these people together. You know, encircling them, you know, until they won't be able to escape. But they have their portion in this life.[00:55:00]So let me switch gears now because there was another,there was another character in the movie that God was speaking to me through, which was,there was a good line spoken by one of the heroes as she lay down, she said she was okay without everything went, and that she was proud of what she had been able to achieve.So thi this is the direction I want my mind to transition into, focusing on the fact.That I could only have done what was in my power to do. [00:56:00] I wasn't perfect, but I was honest and genuinely and practically invested in Ethan. So I think it's okay for us to give ourselves credit for doing the right thing by people who we ultimately have to turn loose, be it an employee, a child, a business partner, a church, a preacher, a family member, or whatever.Because this experience has taught me that it takes all parties involved in a relationship to be truthful, genuine, and hardworking, to make it.So what I've learned is that this is like being in a relationship. It's not like, it's not like when, when I was in grade school and say the team project was three people in or five or whatever, and you had that [00:57:00] one bitch slacking off, and then the rest of us could just kind of like get it together and pull their weight because we were like, fuck it, you know, we can't let our grades fall.This is, let's do this stupid bitch's work. Or if you're playing like, you know, a a five v, five five player versus five player game on Xbox or whatever, and you got that one dumb bitch who keeps getting themselves killed, you know, dragging the team down, you can kind of compensate for that maybe. And ain't like that in real like, like in, like in real life, in in any, any of these relationships, everybody has to do their part of the ship won't work, period.I carried our relationship.You know, for, for, for five years, you know, and I see people do this, I would say, like they're children, you know, and business partners and all of that. You know, if you have a child, and I don't have children yet, I have two cats, honey. And I'm gonna tell you, I, [00:58:00] I don't see much of a difference. I really don't.I really don't. But but, you know, I've seen people really, really like be burdened and have to struggle. You know, wh when they're, when their kids are going through things and it's hard, hard, hard, hard. You're hard for a lot of parents to, to detach from a child that's hardheaded, won't listen. But you can only do your part.That's all you can do. And there's nothing wrong with being proud of that. If you have a business partner that lies to you, steals money out of the account, you know, when your preachers disappoint you because. You find out about their scandals and things like that. You know, you have an employee that won't show up on time and when they show up, they, they don't do the job.You know, you can only do so much training, say in the case of an employee, you can try and try and try, but if you have to turn them [00:59:00] loose, you have to, it, I think it should be done regrettably, slow, not with like rejoicing or anything like that in any of these examples that I've given. You know, if, you know, if it has to come to that, and I think it's good to step back and, and just give yourself a pat on the back, you know, for doing the best that you can for the part of it that was yours to do.Okay? So I want my, my mind to shift, you know, and stop thinking about the things that he did that angered me and started thinking about the things that I did that were honorable and right. Because ultimately that's the only thing that I was ever in control of anyway. I could have done everything right.And if Ethan just was insisted of upon being a grinder hoe, that he's just gonna go be a grinder hoe, you know, my goodness was never going to stop his weaknesses.Okay, [01:00:00] so, so when, when the thoughts come into my head, you know, about the, about the terrible stuff that he's done, I'm trying to reframe them with positive thinking. Let me brag about myself for a moment here, because God knows I have beaten myself down enough.And, and thank y'all for y'all's patience as I try to read through my choppy ass handwriting. What I'm saying is I'm glad that after what I went through, and again, I'm not whining about what I've been through or trying to play the victim. This shit happened. It is what it is. And so, but I, but I'm just happy that I'm not like running around with a chip on my shoulder feeling like life took this for me or that for me.I'm glad that I had enough ability to show love again and and, you know, and financially to come from literally having nothing to be able to [01:01:00] take care of, just not myself, but another human is like huge. You know, that's a really, really, really great thing that I'm thankful for. That, that, that I even had the capacity to do.These are some of the things that I did do, and I will be going into even more explicit imagery on this, you know, in the book that I'm working on. Okay.I helped. I helped Ethan improve his luck. When I met him, he was wearing the same old, dirty ass shoes for my ever many years in the same wrinkled ass clothes for my ever many years. And he would rotate through the same like four or five shirts, one or two shorts, shit would be wrinkled, faded, dirty, you know, hair was all like nap and shit.By the time I was done with him, he had a couple of new pairs of shoes to pick through. I had bought [01:02:00] him piles of clothes. I don't think I bought him any shoes, but piles of clothes. You know, I would just go like for every 21 or Gap or whatever, you know, Abercrombie catch cells and stuff like that. But I mean, a lot of clothes and I, I bought him so many clothes that he could have literally worn a different outfit probably every day for a few months.But like the creature of habit he is. He just wanted to just have a few things, you know? But,you know, and I did this because I wanted to see some exciting colors. You know, I get tired of seeing him in those same depressing ass colors, you know, and shit like that. But I didn't judge him for this either. I was like, but I also should not have tried to change him. I suppose my intentions were only good, you know,the hair, I introduced him to Mom Barber, you know, the per person I grew up with [01:03:00] owns a barber shop here. You know, the person who ended up eventually converting his hair, you know, into you know, into dreadlocks, you know, you know, at my urging all of that, you know, came through, through people that I know, trips to places that he'd never been.You. All of that. And then when we went, you know, we flew first class when we stayed, it was in the pimp suite baby. His house that he bought, it was his mom and I that got behind him and pushed him to believe that he could afford his own real estate. You know, it was us, you know, in his corner pushing him.The realtor that helped him get that house came through. My friends, his, his sources of, [01:04:00]sources of income that he has right now came through me and my people.And it wasn't just big stuff like this. I bought him pressure cooker knife said meat therm. So what are these things? Practical. I was always thinking of ways to make his life easier. You know, what need does. Like what was that? I think that was Mr. Big. Well, from that movie, robots find a need, fill a need.You know, I, it's like I was just seeking for ways and, you know, and, and Ethan's mother is the same way. You know, how can I help? How can I help? How can I help? You know what, I'm not even much gonna say that right now. I am gonna say if I hit one of one of one of Ethan's few f f Freie and slips of truth.You know, [01:05:00] he said that, you know, he just used to people giving him stuff, but I mean, over his almost 30 years on this earth. But that never converted in his head to being something that he should be like, appreciative for. It just like it just happens to him. So he couldn't, no matter what I gave him, he couldn't see it as, you know, an act of love.But these were practical. So everything from first class jet flights to places, to little things like a meat thermometer. Cause I'm going in there in the kitchen and he's burning the hell. A lot of chicken, making it, turning it into coal. I'm like, there's a process for that. There's technology for that.There's a way, there's a better way. I mentioned the credit cards. Yeah. I had given him, you know, a platinum MX and a Black American Airlines card. Those two things would've granted him access into the lounges. [01:06:00] This became like a super big deal cuz of the covid virus and everything. I figured the safer to be in lounges.So I got those cards and everything like that. You know, this is because I was anticipating the day would come that he would travel and go somewhere hopefully with somebody or go at least go home or somewhere without me. So, and I didn't want him, you know, setting out there, you know, with the, the hoards of people and stuff, it's a much nicer experience in lounges if you, if you have not lived the lounge life in an airport, darling, it makes looking forward to going to the airport a whole other different motivation.So if I didn't want him out there wanting him, you know, to have the best of life the counseling, the couples counseling, all of that was you know, that was another good thing that I did because I was trying to make the relationship work. And so all in all, you get the idea [01:07:00] so I can at least look back and feel proud about.How I triedand it makes me feel better and it makes me gain perspective. I don't feel like I could have controlled his choices. I feel insulted. I feel disrespected. I certainly did not feel envious. I don't feel jealous, you know?You know, not at all. It's like, I wonder, you know, how extensive, you know, Ethan's list would be if he, if he were to try to go. And, and, and see how he enhanced [01:08:00] my life and see how he improved it. You know, I accepted the fact that on some levels, that I would be able to do more than him, but it's pretty sad when there was a time that I asked him, cuz I felt so underappreciated in this relationship, I was like, what, what value do you bring?Or how do you treat me special? Or, you know, the only thing he could say was that I bought him for you and that I spend time with you.Okay. Well that's not really, I mean, it, it's, it's, it's pretty sad that like there's so much of his value is tied up into sex. That, that, that, that's like the first thing out of his mouth is sex. But that wasn't even true because I'm gonna tell you, when, when I broke up with him the first time, like I said, I wish I'd have just stayed [01:09:00] gone.Then we were apart for like three weeks. It only took him, what, five days to be getting naked with the next person and then that same person he bought him for. So, and then, so I'm like okay. Is, is that special that it only took you like five days to maybe two weeks to start doing it again After we had been together for years.So like what he meant was he just bottoms less, you know? So, but for somebody like that, you know, you know who, who could sleep with as many people as as as he is capable of, you know, it's not like it's just basically there really wasn't anything that he could say because his mind was not oriented.Towards enhancing the vannin. You know, I think that I really feel like this relationship was nothing more than an [01:10:00] extended almost five year distraction from his agony. Cuz like my hypnotherapist reminds me, narcissists are not happy people. What they are good at is presenting the facade filling their lives with activities to distract them.They're not happy and they're not happy because they don't want to be wrong. You can't ever be released from something that you don't have full culpability. So you can't be healed of something that you were never wrong about or fully wrong about because you never did anything wrong. And I'll talk more about that here in a little bit.So,I feel like this relationship was, was an, an extended Grindr [01:11:00] hookup. I feel like I should have left him just as a fuck buddy or friends with benefit is is he so like to use that word. Cause in that dream that I had years ago, where, where the Lord was telling me that, you know, basically he was not being what he seemed, I should have waited until the Lord came back and told me that he was being real before I moved forward with Ethan, I should have waited. Cause the Lord didn't tell me to leave, but he also didn't tell me to move forward either, you know? And so I should have just kept it as like a casual sexual thing, even though by this time I think he was [01:12:00] already living in my apartment, which happened way too fast.But I'll talk about all of that in more detail when I writeBut, you know, I had fear, you know, fear that, you know, if, if I don't make a move then you know, then someone else will come and scoop him up. But I've, you know, y'all fear should never be what motivates us. My mindset should have been, I'm gonna let this thing take its course, and if somebody else does well, then it was meant for them to move forward and not us, and be willing to just let that go instead of having anxiety about it and trying to hurry up.It's one thing to pursue somebody and want to get them before somebody else gets them, but you also have to get them only if the time is right. And so another lesson.Let's see now yeah. My ex actually spoke about [01:13:00] like having children and wanting children and I told him that, that he's not fit to have a child. That he's not mentally fit to raise children. It's not, you know, children aren't, not some like little cute pet or a pipe dream or whatever the hell you had to be able to teach a child mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and you have a child for the rest of your life and that matter, they're 18.It got to a point towards the end of end of my relationshipthat I, you know, I would look at Ethan and be like, no, I'm definitely not raising children with you. You know, you don't possess the, the morality, the character, depth of character. Anything that I would care to see imparted into a child, what would he have taught them? Hey, son, it's totally okay if you have sex with people and give them covid.It's totally okay if you lie to your partner and your [01:14:00] couple's counselors, it's totally okay if you manipulate people, like, what the hell? You can only teach what you. And if you're trying to teach your child something that's contrary to how you live, then the child is going to cut you off and not respect you because children can see the bullshit.And so,and also Ethan had extremely low goals in life. I didn't learn this about him until the relationship was almost over. Like, he only wants to make say, 40,000 a year. He only wants to have enough money to help him and maybe his friends, the friends from back in his home state because , I mean, while that's cute and all, but, you know, my whole thing is like, what about the rest of the world? You know, he was saying he's totally fine. It's like with his, you know, little town home he has or an, or an apartment. I'm. Because like I've, like I've told y'all, you have to grow you. possess true love and affection for the people that you grew up with. [01:15:00] Okay,the next, the, the next transformation I desire is for my anger to turn into pity.Pity, pity, pity. I mean,When I think about pity, I think about likesmiggle, a goum, you know, Lord of the Rings. Yeah. When you look at what, what the ring did to, to smiggle, you know, you feel sorry for him, but at the same time, you wanna throw that little bastard off of the side of whatever mountain you happen to be on because of the things he's willing to do to people.Okay. At the same time you like, you know, I fucking, you know, I fucking hate you, but the same time, damn.[01:16:00]So what does, so what does SMI and Goum represent? The way that if we get carried away with our desires, they will kill us slowly and turn us into something we can't recognize. So it's a ring for him, sex for, for youlying for another person or whatever the hell the case may be over gambling, I don't know. Whatever the fucking drain your life force gradually and slowly without you realizing it is what that ring of power represents. Hmm. You know,how does the Bible say it? I think you said it like, you know, people who, who live for pleasure like that are dead while they live. You know, and it's like Smiggle was only happy, you know, when he had that thing in his hands. [01:17:00] You know, the only, I think the only damn time.He was genuinely, genuinely happy, was at the end when he finally got what he wanted and it killed him. And soit is not true happiness if you're only happy in the middle of an activity or because of a possession. If you don't have true happiness when you're alone and all is quiet, you have some serious issues to work through. I mean, true happiness, I can't remember who in the hell said it, but somebody said something like, all of the world's problems stem from the inability of, of, of humans to sit still.You know, something [01:18:00] like that. And You know, where, where, where are you getting your happiness from? Where are you really happy? Have you ever really known happiness? You know, whoever you are, you know,you know this. These are the sort of things that I think of when I'm watching shows and things like that. You know, as I stated, my ex wasn't interested in all of this deep talk. We were watching the, the, the legend of Vox Makina, beautiful, beautiful anime, beautiful life lessons written i
The Dale Jr. Download - Dirty Mo Media
It's time once again to talk dollars and cents (and sense..) as Kelley Earnhardt Miller is back in the Bojangles Studio for the second edition of the Business of Motorsports. On this episode, she is joined by co-host Mike Davis and the President/CEO of Speedways Motorsports Inc., Marcus Smith. While Marcus has been a recurring guest on the Dale Jr. Download, this interview dives more into the nuts and bolts of how speedways operate and his business philosophy. Marcus discussed his path up the ladder at SMI and imparted advice he received from his father Bruton and former President of Charlotte Motor Speedway Humpy Wheeler. He also chats about the research that goes into keeping racing fans happy, the process of making the NASCAR schedule, track reconfigurations, and the speedways' perspective in the ongoing negotiations surrounding the next NASCAR broadcasting deal. Listeners can expect to hear some updates on the NASCAR All-Star weekend at North Wilkesboro and what the future may hold for the legendary track. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Ecclesiastes 7:8 encourages us to be patient in trials of all kinds, including our investments. If patience is a virtue, how do we apply that to our portfolios? We'll talk about it with investing expert Mark Biller. Mark Biller is executive editor at Sound Mind Investing.If you're feeling despondent about the losses suffered over the past year, be encouraged! PATIENCE IS A VIRTUEBiller reminds us that time is on the side of the long-term investor. This has always been the case — it was true after the dreadful losses of 2008's Financial Crisis, it was true after the Covid shock in 2020, and it's still true after last year's losses, whether or not this bear market is over yet.The U.S. stock market has been remarkably resilient. A portfolio divided 50-50 between large and small company stocks has returned about +11% per year over the last 95 years. Think about everything the market has been through since then — the Great Depression, a World War, and so on.Admittedly, that average obscures some wild rides along the way. There have been 12-month periods where losses were as horrifying as -69% and gains were as breathtaking as 240% (those two extremes actually happened back-to-back in 1932-1933). In fact, it's been very uncommon for stocks to actually return close to that +11% average in any particular year — only about 5% of all the 12-month rolling periods over the last century or so have been within one percent of that 11% long-term average.What that means is that it's perfectly normal for the stock market's returns to be all over the place from year to year. And yet, despite that, time is on the side of the long-term investor. The longer you're willing to keep your money in the market, the greater your likelihood of success.Biller writes about all this in a recent article at SoundMindInvesting.org, titled “Market Probabilities: What the Past Suggests About the Future.” It features a chart that shows that if you had randomly picked any 12-month period between 1926 and 2022 to own stocks, you would have had a 74% chance of making money. How much money? The table shows you would have had about a 39% probability of making more than 20%, a 20% chance of making between 10% and 20%, and a 15% chance of earning between 1% and 10%.The chart shows these types of probabilities for holding periods of 1-year, 2-years — all the way out to 10-year holding periods. And that's where the numbers are really so reassuring.When you get out to five-year holding periods, losses occurred only 11% of the time. In other words, if you held your stocks for at least five years, the likelihood of making money increased to 89%.The chart also shows that as the holding period lengthens, the very large gains and losses gradually disappear as the market moves closer to its long-term historical average. And by the time you reach holding periods of 8-to-10 years, the likelihood of losing money falls to just 2%-3% of the time.Now, this assumes certain things, like your portfolio being properly diversified.This study reinforces the importance of diversification. The article notes that the S&P 500 Index, which is really a measure of large-company stock performance, was negative -1.4% for the 10-year period ending in 2008. But when we diversify that portfolio by splitting it evenly between large and small company stocks, that 10-year loss flips to a small gain of +2.7%.One of the main points of this article and the chart is to show how volatile stock market returns are over the short-term, and how that volatility rapidly diminishes as you stretch out your time horizon. Short-term returns are very unpredictable, but they become much more predictable the longer the time horizon extends. That's why SMI has always recommended at least a five-year time frame as a minimum for investing in the stock market, and 10 years is really what they prefer to see. You can't guarantee that a person will have a positive return investing in stocks over any given five or 10-year period, but historically, the odds of success go way up with those longer periods.And again, it's reassuring that even the worst recent 10-year period — that 1999 to 2008 period that ended with the Global Financial Crisis — still provided modest gains for diversified investors.DON'T TRY TO TIME THE MARKET ON YOUR OWNAll of the research suggests that most individual investors do a poor job of trying to time the market on their own. And most who try to do that, end up hurting their long-term results.So for someone who is NOT following along with a very disciplined, mechanical strategy like they're using at SMI, but has a 5-year time horizon and is contributing every month to their 401k, they should stick with simple dollar cost averaging. They should probably just keep making those contributions and count on the market to bounce back from any further damage that might be in store before they reach the end of their 5-year time period. This article we've been discussing today says that historically a person has an 89% chance of making money in stocks over a 5-year time period. That's the argument for continuing to dollar-cost-average right through a bear market like this.SEEKING A FINANCIAL ADVISERWhat kind of person needs a financial advisor?Biller says there are two main groups: one is the person who doesn't enjoy financial stuff and doesn't want to do this on their own. Chances are, that type of person isn't going to do a particularly good job with it because they don't like it and it's a chore. So that's one good reason to offload it to an advisor.The second is a little less obvious, but it's a primary reason why many of SMI's do-it-yourself newsletter people eventually transition over to using SMI's Advisory service, and that's because they want to ensure their spouse is well cared for after they're gone. Many people tell SMI they don't mind handling their own investing, but their spouse would be lost because they haven't been involved. So they'll come over to work with an SMI advisor to make sure the transition is smooth for their spouse's benefit.And of course, we regularly recommend you seek out a Certified Kingdom Advisor if you need help with your investments. You should interview two or three of them, and you can start that process by visiting FaithFi.com/find. On this program, Rob also answers listener questions: What is the best way to select a lender for a home refinance? What kinds of retirement income are taxable? When does it make sense to refinance an auto loan? RESOURCES MENTIONED:CreditKarmaLendingTreeBe sure to check out the rest of FaithFi.com to access our books and our many free helpful resources. You can also find us on Facebook Faith and Finance (Live) and join the conversation. Thanks for your prayerful and financial support that helps keep Faith and Finance (Live) on the air. And if you'd like to help, just click the Give button. I realize we may not be able to post this. But just in case we can, I decided to paste it in.
In today's episode we're recommending the best songs from January and February of 2023 . We spoke about albums such as Logic's College Park, Paramore's This is Why and singles such as Lil Wayne's Kan't Nobody ft. DMX & more. Check out our New Playlist on Spotify: https://go.nfrpodcast.com/SpotifyPlaylist Check out our New Playlist on Apple Music: https://go.nfrpodcast.com/AppleMusicPlaylist LIVE ALBUM REACTIONS: https://go.nfrpodcast.com/Patreon List of Songs & Albums Discussed •Lil Yachty's new album Let's Start Here •Logic's new album College Park •Paramore's new album This is Why •Lil Wayne's new song Kan't Nobody •Reuben Vincent's new album Love is War •Daniel Ceasar's new song Do You Like Me? •Larry June & The Alchemist's new song 60 Days •Kali Uchis' new song I Wish You Roses •Smino's new song Smi, Myself & I •& More
Today's conversation is one that has been highly anticipated and we're so glad to finally be sharing it with you. Paige McMahon joined us in the studio right at the beginning of 2023 to share her heart and her husband's legacy with us. Those of who you have been Desert Springs for a while may remember when Paige's husband John McMahon was tragically killed in a plane crash on June 27th, 2017. This summer will mark six years since John went to meet Jesus. Paige gives us the background of how she and John met (it involves TPing a house
A Health Savings Account can save you a lot of money now - and give you a healthier retirement income later. HSAs were designed to help folks struggling with out-of-pocket medical expenses. But a key provision makes them terrific “back up” retirement accounts, too. Rob West talks about that with Mark Biller. This is Faith and Finance - biblical wisdom for your financial decisions.Mark Biller is the Executive Editor at Sound Mind Investing.We mention the benefits of Health Savings Accounts from time to time on the program, but today we'll dive specifically into the connection they can have to retirement investing, which a lot of folks may not be aware of, right?When you think about saving for retirement, you probably think about your workplace retirement plan or an IRA. But a Health Savings Account can also be a powerful retirement savings tool for some people. In fact, in certain situations an HSA can basically be thought of as a “super IRA.”Let's start with a little background on HSAs.To be eligible to fund an HSA, you have to have a high-deductible health plan, whether that plan is provided by your employer or purchased directly by you. This year, that means an individual plan with at least a $1,500 deductible, or a $3,000 deductible for a family plan.If you have a high deductible plan like that, you're basically self-insuring for routine and relatively minor medical expenses. So the government lets you contribute to a Health Savings Account so you have money on hand to pay those relatively minor health expenses, while insurance covers you against anything major.That HSA money can be used to cover your deductible, co-pays, and a wide variety of health care products and services. HSAs have limits as to how much you can put in them each year — in 2023, the maximum contribution for an individual is $3,850, and the family max is $7,750. Like IRAs, “catch-up contributions” are also allowed for people age 55 or older.A lot of that actually does sound similar to an IRA.Yes, and there are similar tax benefits available as well. Except in the case of HSAs, the tax treatment is potentially even better than IRAs, because they're triple tax-advantaged: No taxes going in, no taxes on account growth, and no taxes if the money is withdrawn to pay “qualified health expenses.”That's why HSAs are sometimes referred to as “super IRAs” - because regular IRAs and other workplace retirement plans are only double tax-advantaged, meaning you pay taxes at one end with IRAs - either when the money goes in or when it comes out, depending on whether you're using a Traditional IRA or a Roth. But HSAs give the tax benefit on both sides, making them unique.And it's that triple tax advantage that makes HSA a potentially powerful tool for retirement investing, right?Absolutely. The big key is whether a person can cover their out-of-pocket medical costs with funds outside their HSA account. If a person can do that, then the money that accumulates in their HSA gets that triple benefit as they invest it over the years.Two important notes:1 - if you're not sure if you can pay all your health expenses using non-HSA money, there's no downside for trying. For example, say you decide to save the maximum in your HSA and you're going to try to cover your minor health costs with non-HSA money. But if you end up having to dip into your HSA for half those costs, you've still got half that money sitting in likely the very best type of account for long-term investing.2- not all HSA custodians offer access to investments, but many do. At Fidelity, for example, money in Health Savings Accounts can be invested in any of the vast array of investments the company offers — mutual funds, exchange-traded funds, individual stocks, and more. Another popular HSA provider, Lively, offers access to Schwab's investing platform. So having good investment options is fairly common.But one of the stipulations of that “triple advantage” is that HSA money has to ultimately be used to pay for qualified medical expenses, correct?That's correct. But there's an important loophole that's important for people who are using HSAs as long-term retirement savings accounts. Say you fund an HSA for a number of years and then retire. In retirement, you can take money out of the HSA for any new qualified health expenses you incur. But you can also reimburse yourself for qualified health care expenses that you incurred in the past.That means that as long as you save your receipts for health care expenses that you pay out of pocket now, you'll have the ability to take those amounts out of your HSA in retirement whether you have new health care expenses or not.Here's an example. Suppose that at age 66, you withdraw $15,000 from your HSA to buy a car (or any other non-health-related expense). As long as you have $15,000 in receipts for not-yet-claimed health expenses, even if you incurred those expenses years before, those receipts can be used to offset the entire withdrawal, effectively making it tax-free.That is a powerful benefit to be aware of. HSAs are different from Flexible Spending Accounts, correct?HSA account balances can be carried forward year after year. That's a key difference to Flexible Spending Accounts, where the money has to be spent each year or else it gets forfeited.It's also worth pointing out that once you enroll in Medicare (which typically happens at age 65), you're no longer eligible to contribute to an HSA. However, any existing HSA balance you have can continue to be invested and used to pay for qualified health care expenses.We recently did a program on how important the so-called “order of operations” is for managing money. I suppose getting things in the right order applies here, too?It does and SMI has always recommended prioritizing retirement savings this way: If your workplace plan offers a match, first contribute enough there to get the full match, then max out an IRA, taking advantage of its broader investment options. Then, if you still need or want to save more for retirement, go back to your 401(k) plan and contribute more there.If your workplace plan doesn't offer a match, max out an IRA first and then turn to your workplace plan.But because the potential tax benefits of an HSA are so compelling, if you are eligible to fund an HSA and think you will be able to pay at least some of your health care expenses with non-HSA money so your HSA can grow over time, then we would recommend the following:As before, if your workplace plan offers matching contributions, continue to start there, contributing enough to get the entire match. Then max out an HSA. Next, move on to funding an IRA. Finally, if you still want or need to save more for retirement, contribute more to your 401(k) plan.If your workplace plan doesn't offer a match, we'd actually suggest maxing out an HSA first. Then fund your IRA, and finally, turn to your workplace plan.Health care costs in retirement are always a major concern for folks. Medicare doesn't cover everything. Give us an idea of how contributing to an HSA can alleviate some of those fears.In the article "A Health Savings Account: The Other 'Retirement Account" we include a quote from a research firm that says, in most cases, “an individual who starts saving by age 40 can accumulate sufficient savings in an HSA to cover the cost of health care in retirement.”The researchers said their projection would hold even if the individual used a small portion of his HSA money to cover current health expenses. It's definitely a tool worth looking into if you're covered by a high deductible insurance plan.Next, Rob answers these questions at 800-525-7000 or via email at askrob@FaithFi.com:Should you gift funds now to your two siblings if your mother is in a nursing home and ailing, and you are a joint owner on her account, or wait until after she dies?What is a Multi-Year Guaranteed Fixed Annuity (MYGA) and is it subject to Required Minimum Distributions if your elderly mother is being advised by her bank to invest several hundred thousand in this vehicle?Be sure to check out the rest of FaithFi.com to access our books and our many free helpful resources. You can also find us on Facebook Faith and Finance (Live) and join the conversation. Thanks for your prayerful and financial support that helps keep Faith and Finance (Live) on the air. And if you'd like to help, just click the Give button.
Schizophrenia: Three Moms in the Trenches
Guest: Kyleigh Leddy, author of “The Perfect Other: A Memoir of my Sister”“I wish my sister gets better” - that became part of our guest's yearly birthday wishes, and more often too.Our daughters have probably made that same wish - or at least they used to.In 2019, Kyleigh won the New York Times Modern Love college essay contest for an essay she wrote about grieving her sister, Kait - and now it's a book.All Kait Leddy had ever wanted was a little sister. When Kyleigh was born, they were inseparable; Kait would protect her, include her, cuddle and comfort her, and, to Kyleigh, her big sister was her whole world.As they grew, however, and as Kait entered adolescence, things began to shatter, and Kyleigh could only watch in horror as her perfect sibling's world collapsed around her. Kait was institutionalized with what would eventually be diagnosed as schizophrenia, leaving Kyleigh and their mother to handle the burden, shame, and guilt alone.Then, in January 2014, Kait disappeared. Her sister tells us about the loss, their bond, the story, the stigma - in her latest book.Questions:1- what do you most want people to know from your story, your family story?2 - tell us what Kait was like before SZ, and as it developed.Did kait's concussions cause her SMI? 3 - you and your parents - how are you now?4 - does Kait leave a legacy ?5 -is the sibling experience often ignored in SMI? What is unique to sibs? 6 - your writing process etc. and links Links:https://kyleighleddy.com/https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/03/style/modern-love-sister-vanished.htmlhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/0358469341?tag=harpercollinsus-20Mindy and her book: https://mindygreiling.com/Randye and her book: https://benbehindhisvoices.com/Miriam and her book: https://www.miriam-feldman.com/Hosts:Who:Randye Kaye - was a morning Radio Personality bringing humor to CT families when her own son was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Now she is still a Broadcaster, Actress, Voice Talent, Speaker, and Author (Ben Behind his Voices, Happier Made Simple)Miriam Feldman - is an artist, writer, and the mother of an adult son with schizophrenia. Her book, He Came in With It chronicles her family's story and was released to rave reviews on July 21st, 2020.Mindy Greiling - Mindy Greiling was a member of the Minnesota House of Representatives for twenty years. She helped found the nation's first state mental health caucus, which successfully lobbied for a significant increase in Minnesota's mental health funding Her acclaimed memoir is Fix What You Can.
La coalición de gobierno lleva días intentando pactar una reforma de la “Ley del solo sí es sí” ante las rebajas en algunas penas de cárcel. ¿Se deben estas al nuevo decreto o a su interpretación y aplicación por parte de algunos jueces? ¿Cómo queda el consentimiento? ¿Qué dicen los juristas? Lo analizamos junto a otros temas de actualidad, como la subida del SMI o el envío de tanques a Ucrania en nuestro Nido de Rojos y Rojas con Pablo Elorduy, de El Salto, la periodista Ana Pardo de Vera y con Bob Pop. Y entrevistamos a Paz Lloria, Catedrática de Derecho Penal en la Universitat de Valencia. Más información aquí: https://bit.ly/NidoRojos1157 Haz posible Carne Cruda: http://bit.ly/ProduceCC
INTRODUCTION: Edward Smink, the founder of The Soul of Caregiving Coaching Practice, is an in-demand speaker, coach, and author of The Soul of Caregiving, A Caregiver's Guide to Healing and Transformation. Edward holds an Associate Degree in Nursing from Newton Junior College, a BA in Psychology from Boston College, an MA in Counseling Psychology, a MA and PhD in Depth Psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute. He is a former Registered Nurse, Healthcare Executive in Mission, Values, Spirituality, Ethics, End of Life Care, and Community Health. He holds titles as a Board-Certified Chaplain with the National Association of Catholic Chaplains and is an Associate Coach with the International Coaching Federation. INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE (But not limited to): · Care Advice For The Caregiver· Compassion Fatigue Defined· Burnout Defined· Pandemic Benefits· Emotional Considerations· Relationship Imbalance· Why Comparisons Won't Work· Three Cultural Taboos That Prevent Self-Care CONNECT WITH DR. SMINK: Website & Books: https://soulofcaregiving.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/soulofcaregivingTwitter: https://twitter.com/smink_mLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/edwardmphd/ CONNECT WITH DE'VANNON: Website: https://www.SexDrugsAndJesus.comWebsite: https://www.DownUnderApparel.comTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexdrugsandjesusYouTube: https://bit.ly/3daTqCMFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/SexDrugsAndJesus/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexdrugsandjesuspodcast/Twitter: https://twitter.com/TabooTopixLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/devannonPinterest: https://www.pinterest.es/SexDrugsAndJesus/_saved/Email: DeVannon@SDJPodcast.com DE'VANNON'S RECOMMENDATIONS: · Pray Away Documentary (NETFLIX)o https://www.netflix.com/title/81040370o TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_CqGVfxEs · OverviewBible (Jeffrey Kranz)o https://overviewbible.como https://www.youtube.com/c/OverviewBible · Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed (Documentary)o https://press.discoveryplus.com/lifestyle/discovery-announces-key-participants-featured-in-upcoming-expose-of-the-hillsong-church-controversy-hillsong-a-megachurch-exposed/ · Leaving Hillsong Podcast With Tanya Levino https://leavinghillsong.podbean.com · Upwork: https://www.upwork.com· FreeUp: https://freeup.net VETERAN'S SERVICE ORGANIZATIONS · Disabled American Veterans (DAV): https://www.dav.org· American Legion: https://www.legion.org · What The World Needs Now (Dionne Warwick): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfHAs9cdTqg INTERESTED IN PODCASTING OR BEING A GUEST?: · PodMatch is awesome! This application streamlines the process of finding guests for your show and also helps you find shows to be a guest on. The PodMatch Community is a part of this and that is where you can ask questions and get help from an entire network of people so that you save both money and time on your podcasting journey.https://podmatch.com/signup/devannon TRANSCRIPT: Dr. Edward Smink[00:00:00]You're listening to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast, where we discuss whatever the fuck we want to! And yes, we can put sex and drugs and Jesus all in the same bed and still be all right at the end of the day. My name is De'Vannon and I'll be interviewing guests from every corner of this world as we dig into topics that are too risqué for the morning show, as we strive to help you understand what's really going on in your life.There is nothing off the table and we've got a lot to talk about. So let's dive right into this episode.DeVannon: Dr. Edward Smith, the founder of the Soul of Caregiving Coaching Practice, is an in-demand speaker, coach, and author of the Soul of Caregiving, A Caregiver's Guide to Healing and Transformation. This is a very unique episode, Edward and I. Come at caregiving from a unique perspective with the focus being on giving care advice to the caregiver.Y'all compassionate [00:01:00] fatigue and burnout are real, and I'm happy to have an expert here with me today to tell you everything about it. De'Vannon: Hello everyone and welcome back to the Sex Drugs in Jesus podcast. My name is Devana. I'm your host. Have with me here today Dr. Edward smi, and he is the author of a, I'm gonna say a. Hmm. A very polarizing book called Soul of Caregiving, A Caregiver's Guide to Healing and Transformation. This book here talks about what I consider to be a most taboo topic because it deals with the pains and the grievances that people go through, not because of problems they're going through necessarily, but because the.DeVannon: Problems a loved one is going through, particularly in the area of health. And so that's what we're going to talk to today. You know, how we can beat ourselves up, tell us, tell ourselves we've never done enough, you know, when they die, what more could we have done? So on and so forth. And through caring for [00:02:00] somebody who's not well, we forget to take care of ourselves.And so, so Dr. Smith's website addresses that in depth as to does this book we're gonna talk about today. So, Dr. Smi, how are you?Edward: I am doing very well and I appreciate this opportunity to talk about self-care and, and how to prevent compassion fatigue and burnout.DeVannon: Absolutely. And so tell us you know, a little bit about like your educational history you know, you are a doctor. Tell us like, you know, where you went to school, what kind of doctor Exactly. And so.Edward: Well, I have a doctorate in depth psychology, which focuses on trying to understand a person's Willingness to deal with their life, to deal with their soul. And I use the word soul in the sense of that inner energy that's within each [00:03:00] person. I, I think of the The painting in the Sistine Chapel where you have the divine God, the Father reaching out to Adam, and there's that sense of touching each other, that somehow we allow ourselves to get in touch with that sacred part of who we are.And in that space, we're able to make appropriate choices and decisions. So I used to belong to a community of brothers that work for healthcare. I have a background in nursing. And then I became a chaplain and I, I worked a lot with the different ethical and, and, and, and spiritual issues that both families and, and caregivers and patients experience.And I could, I could talk more about that. And then I after I got. Bachelor's in, in nursing. I [00:04:00]then got a master's in counseling psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute. And, and I used to work full-time also, so I worked full-time and I also got my master's. And I don't know how I did it, but I did it.And I then started doing coaching and I started working in, in executive leadership in, in healthcare working with mission and values, which has to do with organizational organizational development. And, and then I also worked with ethics. I was on ethics committees. I was on, developed ethics committees and dealt with death and dying, dealt with hospice. Dealt with the issues that most family members face when a loved one becomes critically ill. And then I also worked in community health trying to be a [00:05:00] presence in the community our healthcare system to give back to the community in helping them with, with different health issues. So I got a, a master.In, in counseling psychology. Then I got a PhD, another master's in a PhD, in depth psychology, and that's where the doctor comes from. My Doctoral thesis was the thresholds of affliction, the heroic journey of healing. What happens to a person when they're ill and what resources do they use to help them get in touch with that curative part of their that's happening or to help them deal with the, the dying process.That's sort of my background and I sound younger than I am, and I, I like that. Most people think I am about 10 or 15 years younger than I am, and I like that too. And I [00:06:00] often say, if you could only see me now. But anyway, I have a passion to reach out to caregivers and then I explain who are the caregivers?And I say, we all are because at the heart of being human is to. Parents care for their children. Spouses care for each other. Educators care for their pupils. First responders and police officers care for the people they work with. We're all, we're all caregivers. It's not just in the medical field of doctors and nurses and, and, and therapists.So, because we all care, the, the danger is that we don't care for our. We're, we're, we're, I think there's a phrase that's easier to give than receive, and, and so we're, we're used to always wanting to give, but we don't use those same skills to take care of [00:07:00] ourself. In the, in the Hebrew scripture and then also in the Christians scriptures, it says, you know, love the Lord your God with all your mind, all your heart, and all your being.And then it says, love your neighbor as you love. Now here's the question. Have we grown up with a healthy respect of loving ourself? We usually think we're not good enough or what because of culture or our different political aspirations. We don't feel that the gift that we are in, in, in most spiritual traditions as as, as a child of the divine, we don't, we don't.Let that sink in and realize how, how special we are. So you're special and I'm special. The everyone who's listening is special. And when we allow ourselves to experience that specialness, we're able to make appropriate decisions to care for ourself.DeVannon: Right. [00:08:00] So thank you for uh, the, that, that, that, that thorough breakdown of You know, well, I guess you, I guess your answered the other question I was gonna ask you about, like, why you wrote the book, you know, and that I think you, I think you covered that already, so thank you for that. But you mentioned that, that, that you do coaching.So I'm curious, like what, what sort of coaching do you do and what is it that you help people gain?Edward: Well, I work mainly with caregivers. And who are they? So the, we're all caregivers, but what I really try to focus on a person who's experiencing compassion fatigue, and I'll explain that in, in, in also burnout. I'll explain that. You hear that a lot. I try to have them focus on their strengths, not on the problem that they're dealing with.So what are the strengths that you. and when we, we focus on our own interior strengths, then we're able to [00:09:00] separate the issue that's, that we're dealing with. We're able to pull it apart. We're able to make appropriate choices cuz we have a foundation. But what happens with compassion fatigue is that we we're so exhausted, we lose our bearing.You know, we're, we're on. And we need to get back to the center of things. So compassion fatigue happens because we love what we're doing and we get exhausted.DeVannon: So,Edward: love what we're doing.DeVannon: so, so it's a mixture of love and exhaustion. Before, before we get too much into the definition of compassion fatigue, I wanted, I want to hang on to the Into the coaching. So y'all, his, his, his website is soul of caregiving.com. You can book counseling, coaching sessions, co counseling sessions there and get more information there.He's a very interesting blog on the website and of course, you know the book soul of Caregiving, the Caregiver Guide to Healing and Transformation can [00:10:00] also all be bought through that website. So, , do you, can you gimme an example of like a client that you were working with, like what their issue was and how you helped them to overcome that issue, and then what, how they were after you helped them to overcome.Edward: well, I can think of one in particular who was an executive leader in in nursing, and she always. Always got in trouble because she was, she wasn't taking care of herself. And, and she came to me and, and she said, I, I think I'm, I'm going through burnout. And I, so we started talking about it, and over a course of six months, and sometimes it takes longer, she was able to focus on how she.Get out of the trap that she knitted herself into. [00:11:00] She didn't realize that she was like a, a, a hamster in a wheel that was constantly going, going spinning and spinning and spinning cuz she was always so directed to take care of others. And she learned that from her mother who was a nurse. And so she, she always thought she had to push and push and push and push and push and never took time for herself.So that realization took time for her to own it and not to feel selfish or not to feel guilty. Well, I'm guilty because I'm, I'm, I am taking a three day weekend, or I'm guilty because my husband and I are going for a trip and we're leaving the children with our grand, with our parents. It, it's like it It is, it is.And I had another client. Who felt she was selfish, you know? And I said, look at, and I told this other client, I said, look [00:12:00] at what you've done, what you've done for others. How can you say you're selfish? This other client was taking care of her father with Alzheimer for two years until he died. And I said, look at all you've done.How can you say you're selfish? And she realized, She wasn't selfish to take care of herself, but it took a long time for her to say it's okay. So coaching takes time. It's not, it's not like, you know, you're knocked off your horse and, and, and you get insight. You get insight and then you have to apply it.Yeah. It, it, you have, it's like a muscle. You have to massage it.DeVannon: Right? And so when it, when it comes to the to the caregivers and the caretakers, Well, there was a sta a statistic that, that I read that it says like, in 20 20, 20 3% of American caregivers said caregiving had made [00:13:00] their own health worse. And that's according to the A A R P. You know, and I was reading it, you know, you know, and it also elsewhere said you know, that care caregiving is like the growing crisis that everyone must face.I think we saw this a lot. You know, when Covid hit and then the nurses and everything, you know, they started quitting and, you know, there was a lot of burnout and like, and fatigue and stuff like that. So did you see an an influx of, of, I guess, customers or patients during covid or how, how, from your view, has Covid impacted the subject at hand?Edward: Well, COVID affected us. In many ways, and I think the main reason was it the normal that we knew became nonexistent. So most of us were going through a sense of [00:14:00] grieving. We were going through a sense of loss. We were going through anxiety because we wanted to get out and do things. We wanted to get back to normal.I remember two years ago I was gonna have a, a birthday party for my brother and myself we're twins, and that's when Covid started. And I remember it saying to my, my cousin, well, this'll be over in a week or two and we can get on with it. Well, two years later, you know, we're, we're, we're emerging out of our tunnels.But I think what most people. Faced was themself. They, they had to deal with issues that all of a sudden popped up that they couldn't run away from, and, and so that some were able to cope with that and some weren't. I think it also helped people become more reflect. [00:15:00] You know, after you can't, I mean, how many movies can you watch it?You know, and all of a sudden you're realizing that you have time to read, you have time to focus, you have time to write, you have time to journal, you have time to read that book. You've always wanted to, you have time to spend with your family in ways that you didn't. And so it, it, it forced most of us to deal.Personal issues that often were hidden. And so there's a recovery they call it now, post covid, you know relief. How, how to, how to help clients or how to help each other realize we can put our feet back in the water, but the water is different than it was two years ago. . See, that's, that's, that's what's d.and so we're creating a new normal. That's different because we're [00:16:00] different.DeVannon: Right. And so, yeah, I mean, I, I concur. People did have to face themselves. I think that that is like the greatest benefit of Covid. I dunno if it sounds, You know, oxymoron to associate benefits with Covid, but I do cuz I felt like personally a lot of good came out of it. And one of the greatest things was, like you said, causing people to face themselves because people could not go and bury their reality and activities or bury their pain and activities.You know, they had to actually deal with life on life terms and deal with life as it is, rather than to be, to cater to distrac.Edward: Exactly. Exactly. And it, it, it challenged all of us. And, and some people did. And others in coping and others, you know, got really depressed.DeVannon: Yeah. Or acted out in their own ways. , so.Edward: Yes, we do.DeVannon: All right, so, so then let, let me bring this back around [00:17:00] then to the compassion fatigue and burnout. Go ahead and explain to us, you know, what those two are.Edward: Well, compassion fatigue has to do with doing something. We love. We really love being a parent. We really love being a spouse. We really love teaching, or we love nursing, or we love being a, a, a first responder or please. We love, we love, we love what we do, but we get exhausted. And because we get exhausted, it's called compassion.because we're so compassion, we get fatigued. And the antidote to that is called compassion resilience, that we're able to step away from a situation and, and, and not Not de personalize ourself from it, but [00:18:00] to build a safety net and boundaries that we could weave in and out without getting totally absorbed in, into, into the situation.So that's, that's what compassion fatigue is. Burnout has to do with being in a situation. It could be, as you said, the danger of being a caregiver at home and feels feeling. and no one's helping me. And I could talk about that in a little bit. And so you, you, you lose hope. You don't get the emotional let's say a wife is taking care of her husband who has Alzheimer's.She doesn't get the same satisfaction of the relationship that she had before. So she's going through a sense of grieving and, and she also is, is. Feels that she's stuck. And so or I could [00:19:00] be in a, a work situation in, in a hospital clinic, a, a school, and, and the people in charge do not give me the normal human satisfaction of being there as a person.I'm, I'm just a clog and a wheel, and so I never feel I get the support. I never feel that there's people helping me and, and acknowledging my humanness appreciation. You've done a good job. We're really proud of you. All those things that help a person realize that that what they're doing is, is who they are and they're affirmed in that situation.When you're not affirm. You, you feel like you're, you're hitting your head against the wall because no matter what you do doesn't change the situation that the people on top don't recognize you [00:20:00]in your human gifts and capacities. So that's the difference between burnout and compassion fatigue.DeVannon: Right. And so thank you for, you for explaining that. Another great thing I thought that came from Covid was this gut check that had to come into employers because employers. you know, not always so great. Their employees underappreciate them, overwork them, underpay them, and act like that. That employee always has to come there.When people were sitting at home reflecting, they realized that, you know, life is short. They got their value system organized. A lot of people who never liked those jobs anyway, and were burned out on those jobs, then go back to those jobs and you know, and now we have like this surplus of jobs and everything.And I think it's the most beautiful thing because employee employers have had to humble themselves downEdward: Yes. Yes.DeVannon: and not think the world revolves around them because they're the one cutting the checks. , [00:21:00] you know, you actually need employees to make a business run, and so,Edward: Well, I like what you said that that many people got in touch with their values and realized that they, they could leave a situation, they didn't have to stay stuck. , you see? And, and they could, they could work with a corporation on a different way. And corporations were realizing that the best, the most important entity that they have are their employees.And, and so how do you make sure that their needs are being taken care. It, it, it's, it takes, it takes less money to care for your employees than to keep hiring new people cuz people quit.DeVannon: right. It does. Absolutely. And hopefully these employers have learned that of the reason why I work for myself now is because I've had a [00:22:00] litany of terrible bosses and supervisors and companies that I've worked for and I was just like, you know the hell with all that. So Well, something in you. Something in you said, see, it forced you to be creative. , it forced you to get in touch with what your real values and what you wanted to do. And so that's, that's the blessing. And saying, I can't go back to that. I don't, you know, but some people do and, and they, they're miserable.Edward: I call 'em mis aholic, so I'm glad you brought that up,DeVannon: Absolutely. Now I'm gonna take a curve ball here with compassion fatigue and burnout, because as you were describing it, I'm hearing echoes of relatability here when it comes to romantic relationships. You know, we've talked about like parents, you know, employers are health setting. , [00:23:00] do you believe there's any implications with compassion fatigue and burnout when we have like a romantic partner and maybe we've overextended that relationship and we just don't wanna leave?Edward: Well, I think the same issue comes up about being true to yourself and sometimes, and I'm sure during the covid, people realized who are married, that they don't love each other. And so they made appropriate decisions. I think that romantically, I often say the gift of a relationship is that the spouse gives permission for the other to be who they are and vice versa.So your, your, your spouse wants you to be who you really could. And you want your spouse to be who they [00:24:00] really could be. And so when you start with that framework, you're on a deeper level than competition.DeVannon: Hmm.Edward: And you know you probably know and heard enough that the way women think is different than the way men.and they're both, both, right, , it's not like one's right, or or the other. But men tend to look at something from one perspective and women from the other, and they could share those perspectives. And again, it's not right or wrong, it's just the fact that, oh, I didn't see it that way. So again, how does it, how does it come back to normal communication?DeVannon: So when you, when you said you know, no competition, I, I had that reaction because, you know, I'm, I'm dealing with a relationship right now where, There's this whole from the other person, like this whole competition wanting to compare, [00:25:00] you know? So that's why I had that reaction because like you hit the nail on the head,Edward: Well, you might, you might again You might decide to have a come to Jesus meeting and, and say, I, I, you know, it it, let's say for example, this person does something where you feel competition. That's when you should say can, can we talk about, I just feel you're competing with me and I, I, I don't want to compete with you.I wanna love. And if she's open to that or he's open to that, then you have a beginning of a new relationship. If they're not, then you're realizing that you're in the wrong relationship.DeVannon: Right, because that, that, that comparison and that competition doesn't work. [00:26:00] I was talking with you know, well, well, you know, we've seen this on the news actually often enough. You know, you'll have like one person in the relationship, be it straight, gay by whatever and so so, you know, we, we see on the news sometimes where jealous partner, jealous spouse, shows up at the job and like, kills someone, you know, kills their significant other because they were jealous or envious or whatever the case may be.You know, That whole like, like the comparing thing and the competitiveness, you know, you mentioned it, but I really wanna point out to people just how dangerous that can get, you know, to, to, to stay in a relationship with somebody who doesn't feel like they have equal footing. And that relationship, that thing is like a sort of cancer that's only gonna get worse with time until that person snaps and does something.You can't stay in a relationship with somebody if you're constantly feeling like you're less.Edward: Agree, and, and [00:27:00] all of us, no matter who we are. I mean, I grew up in an alcoholic family and I real, it took me a long time to overcome feeling I wasn't good enough. You know, you from your background, especially from the racial background, you know, you're, the way the white culture treats you. You go, well, am I good?and, and all of a sudden you realize, damn, I am good enough, , you know, and, and I'm good enough. So that's a real transformation. It's a real gift to stand before the sacred and say, thank you for giving me the gifts I have and, and I will use my life to the best of my ability to live out those gift. I mean, how many, how many people?How many people complimented you today?[00:28:00]DeVannon: Well, I rarely leave my house, so, but when I'm when I'm out and about, you know, not really. I'm the one who finds, I like to compliment people because I understand what that's doing for them, but most people don't give them out.Edward: Yeah. But I'm sure you have, you have good friends that support you.DeVannon: Yeah, I mean, when I go around my friends, you know, if I change my beard color or I have on, if I've lost weight, you know, absolutely. They'll do that. They will.Edward: I have a friend who, who dyes his beard alsoDeVannon: It's the thing to do, man. I can't grow hair on my head, so I gotta work with what I have, with what I got. So now let me thank you for going down that, that off the beat path with me with the whole relationships and everything because, you know, self-care is so, so important here. And when I think about this, I think about like how when my [00:29:00] grandfather had a stroke and then I think he was in the hospital paralyzed for like six months.you know, the family had, you know, was keeping going up there to the hospital. I think about various people who have died and, and they were like bedridden in the hospital and I can, I remember how tired, like you can tell it in the faces and the energy of the person who was going up there, attend to them and everything.Then when they died, it's like their care. It's like they got 20 years added back to their lives. 20, 30 years came back. It's like their youth was renewed. And so can you talk to us about how it can be bad for our health to pour that much of our cells into somebody?Edward: Well, it can be both a blessing and and a challenge. The blessing is, I've often said to doctors and nurses and other healthcare professionals, , are [00:30:00] you a better person because of the work that you do? And they all shake their head, yes, I, I'm a better person because that other person has taught me something that I didn't know about myself.So, for example, it is very tiring to be a caregiver and I may not be good with patience. . Well, the caregiver or your grandfather taught your family how to be patient. I mean, it just happened because that's what happens. The, the, the person who is, who is the one being cared for becomes the caregiver to the caregiver. So when you reflect on those experiences, you pause and. on, on the different experiences. That's what feeds you. When you don't, that that's when [00:31:00] you get tied up in nuts and, and you know, you probably heard, gee, I wish that person was dead. And then you hit yourself on the head and go, well, you know, how do, why am I saying that?Well, I'm saying that cuz I'm frustrated, , you know, I'm, I'm tired and.In our culture today, we don't acknowledge dying. I wrote a paper about that called doctors and nurses don't like to say the D word Dying. So the doctor will say, well, you're, you're great. Grandfather isn't really doing well. What do you want me to. and then the family feels they have to make a decision whether or not the person lives or dies. 25 [00:32:00] years ago, the physician would say, your grandfather isn't doing well. We're gonna do everything to keep him comfortable, and, and his time is short, but we're gonna keep 'em comfortable. See the difference. The physician. The physician hold. Holds the crisis. If, if you have children or, or ne nieces and nephews, if there's something wrong with them, they run up to you.What do you do? You reach out to your arms and you hold them. So caregivers need to hold the crisis. And what happens today is the p. will say, what do you want me to do? And, and the, the family gets all excited. Like they're pulling the plug. Well, they're not pulling the plug. The disease is pulling the plug.You know what, what's, what's really [00:33:00] happening? And we have all these technology to prevent the dying process to keep a person alive when there's no. No outcome that is going to be beneficial. And so that's exhausting too. It's exhausting because family members feel they're responsible, but they're not responsible.The doctor is, and the disease process helps. You know, no one wants someone that they love to die. I call that an. On the other hand, the person's medical condition is causing the person to die. I call that an orange, and they're both the same. And so unless we address the fact that we're, we're ha we, we really feel we don't want the person to die and [00:34:00] address the fact, the fact that they are.What happens is it gets all messed up. I call it a fruit salad , instead of, instead of dealing with one issue at, at a time. And yes, I, I, I, I want my loved one to live, but I recognize that they're dying and so let's do what's, what we can to keep them comfort.DeVannon: what do you recommend, and I know each person is different in each situation where somebody's caregiving is different, whether it's a romantic relationship or someone dying in a hospice or a kid, or is there any general advice you can give to, you know, You know how, how, how does, how do people stop and understand, hey, you know, n I need to stop and do something for myself.I'm giving too much. Do you find that people are like resistant to seeking help for [00:35:00] self-care in the first placeEdward: Well, they are, our culture says that I, I in my research I found out that there are are three cultural taboos that prevent self-care. The first is to acknowledge there's something in me that I need help with. We're raised to think we have to solve everything. and that it's a sign of weakness to ask for help.But healing is social healing has to do with relationships. And so the first cultural taboo is don't acknowledge there's something in you. There's an issue that needs to be further explored and you can't do it by yourself. The second cultural taboo is just as we don't trust what's happening or trust another, we don't communicate our story.So let's talk about, you know, all [00:36:00] the floods that have happened here in, in California. All the devastation in some parts of the country. I, I mean, it's some parts of the state and you have first responders. , you know, do their best. And, and, and someone may be swept away like a five year old was, you know, a couple weeks ago.Well, that affects the person. And so can they tell their peers, you know, you know, I have a story to tell and boy, that, that losing that little kid really affected me. See, talking about our story is considered also a sign of weakness. And, and sh and to be shamed, you know, we're supposed to handle everything.We're not supposed to share, share our story. But the, the real issue of healing is when we share our story and were heard, you know, that the other person really hears us. [00:37:00] It frees us to make choices. So we wanna trust someone that will hear our story. We don't advi, we don't want advice. You know, we want someone to hear us.And so that's the second taboo is don't communicate your story. And the third cultural taboo is, Don't feel what, what you're feeling. Don't acknowledge what you're feeling. I feel sad. I feel pain. I feel hurt. I feel anger over that situation. We're supposed to have a stiff upper lip pull up your bootstraps.You know, big boys don't cry. And big girls you know, get too emotional and they're both wrong because being human is to. . And so I have a feeling over that particular situation I, and you know, it could be sad, it could be anger, it could be grief it, you know, but I'm [00:38:00] acknowledging that that really affected me.I was working with a client once and she was a first responder and she was, she and her team went out to a, a single plane airplane. And when she got there, they couldn't save the pilot cuz the, the plane just blew up. And so she was distraught over that and, and she started not sleeping well. And she started drinking and finally her supervisor said what's going on?And I think you need a coach to help you sort this through. So I was hired to do that. . And so as we're working through this situation, she's realized that it, it wasn't her fault and, and she couldn't do anything and that was okay in this situation. And she [00:39:00] then started getting in touch with going to a group that was called debriefing.And she liked it so much because she realized that in that, people could talk openly about their experience and that she wasn't by herself anymore. And her other teammates, this was voluntary. Her other teammates would, would tease her and say, oh, you're going to the Cry Babies Club. So again, that's the culture.You know, don't, don't debrief, don't talk about what you're feeling. Don't ask for help, don't communicate your story. So all those things pile up. And, and so we're raised we're raised not to, to be rugged individualist. Now that's, that's more the, the English. [00:40:00] Focus, but the African American and the Mediterranean culture is to go to your family.It's more communal versus, versus the white culture that tends to be more independent, so the independent person has to reach out for help. The person who, who's in a, a communal culture has to realize it's okay to pull yourself out to ask for.DeVannon: You know, that's why I always challenge people. I'll ask people, you know, like, why do you believe what you believe? Especially when they raise a particularly poignant point, they feel so intensely passionate about whether I agree with it or not. You know, it's not the point of me asking it, but I really want to understand that whoever it is that I'm challenging and probing into like that has done their homework and done their own research within themselves to sort out their convictions because as you well know,[00:41:00]You know, Edward, a lot of people believe a whole lot of things, but when you ask them, they can't really say where they got that knowledge from. And I hear that, you know, like say with these, with this nursing situation, I wanna say it's very immature for her coworkers to call her her group, the crybaby group. You know, it's, it's just so sad that no matter how old people get, some people still act like you know fucking children, but, but, you know, but, but for them to To, to even say that means that they think what you're like, just like what you're saying is that it's not okay to emote to express this.Like I would ask them, okay, you believe that this is a cry baby baby group and that this is an irrational use of emotion. But why though? Where did you get that belief system from? Well, you know, what you've already said is that it's a cultural thing. My point in saying all this is people, people, you can think for yourself, your culture, your [00:42:00] race, racial background, your sexual orientation, whatever group you identify with.Sure you got things in common with them, but they don't get to think for you , you know, and tell you everything like the culture told me to do. It is not an acceptable answer to me.Edward: Well, I agree with that and, and to stand apart is very difficult because we're. We're bashful, and yet at the same time, we have gifts. And when we allow ourselves to get in touch with those gifts, it gives us strength to be who are to be ourselves. And we're not. We're not it overcomes the bashfulness or the shyness.DeVannon: Hmm. All I know. Is that, you know, you know this, this world, you know, we're gonna have [00:43:00] a lot of problems ahead of us and we've got to get balanced. You know, you know, the world is not set to get any better, you know, we're, you know, in terms of like our character, it seems like the richer we get, like the worst we get as like people.You know, and like what I mean, like that is like when I'm say like in Mexico or in like a, a far less rich country than the United States, I feel like people have greater character, like an appreciation for one another. Then when I come here back to the United States, I'm all like, ah, fuck. You know? Then I gotta deal with Karen and Ken when I go out, you know, and everything like that.And it's just, , you know, and I'm saying all this to say, we had to learn how to take better care of ourselves. And then I don't mean going out to buy more things for ourselves or to go have sex with more people or to go like you know, to fulfill whatever advice you like I'm talking about. Like get you know yourself, you know who [00:44:00] you are, how to truly strengthen yourself in times of tribulation because trouble is coming to this world and.We're gonna love people who are gonna need our help, but how do we, when is it too far? When do we ask for help? How do we ask for help? Thinking that you can do it all on your own is a, is a trap, it's a weakness in and of itself. It's overreliance on self. know, I don't judge anybody for their religious or spiritual perspectives.You know, Edward, you know, I'm, you know, a big follower of the Trinity. I don't follow churches. I love being like, dependent on God. I don't like, like many of my friends, you know, like, they're like universe people, you know, like, like they thank the universe. They, they ask the universe for this or, or they'll be like, all the answers are within me.I feel like some of the answers are within me, but I love. Being able to reach outside of myself to a being higher than me, because for me, that takes the pressure off of me. You know, I'm over myself. I don't feel like I need to be able to [00:45:00] do it all and know it all. I really, really, really, really think that, like you said, that there's a lot of weakness built into an overreliance on ourself.Edward: Well, I think it's important. Who are the friends that you could communicate on, on the soulful level, and they're the ones that support you? There is, there was a program about a year ago on N B C Lester Halt interviewed a, a captain of a police department and he was suffering from P T S D and he brought his team together and he said, you know, I'm suffering from PS P T S D and I don't wanna hide it anymore.And I want us to meet every week, you know, at our meeting. and it, it's an opportunity that we can share our experiences and support each other instead of isolating each other. And so he started that program. It was a real [00:46:00] paradigm shift. And so the question I ask you, or everyone you know, yes, everything is could be considered crazy, and yet there's a lot of good.and how do you support yourself to focus on the goodness that helps you deal with the tribulations. And so when you have the, your, your network of friends, you may decide where you're gonna meet, you know, once a week and you're gonna have coffee or donuts or, or beer or wine or something. And you're gonna discuss how to support each.DeVannon: Mm-hmm. , you know what, that's a start. But people have to be willing to be transparent to do that. One of the things that irks me the most, When I think about my past is when I got H I V and that and that terrible, terrible doctor that I had at the time left my positive h i v diagnosis on a voicemail on New Year's Eve.[00:47:00]You know, just over 10 years ago I was living in the heart of Montrose in Houston, Texas, which is gay district in Houston, which at the time was like the fourth largest city in the country. There's a lot of people there.Edward: I lived there for eight years.DeVannon: Okay, so you know exactly what I'm talking about. The thing was, I was, so me and my friends were so we hung around each other, but we never had deep conversations.We were too busy partying and trying to look cute, and we were cute, but we didn't really know what the next person next to us was struggling with. So, , the, the, the how asin I and crazy it is for me to think that I was the only person with H I V. You know, I felt like such a, a pariah and a leper when really there was many, many lgbtqia a plus people with H I V that I should have been able to feel like I could go to.But because we weren't having those conversations, I felt completely.Edward: Of course, of course. Did you ever think of [00:48:00] starting. Look at what you're doing now.DeVannon: Yeah. Yeah, I did. I started as called the sex Drugs in Jesus podcast and sex drugs in Jesus, the memoir that is my contribution of transparency to the world, and that's why I did it. Cause I was like, A lot of my problems might've been avoided. I might've known that I wasn't alone , you know, and so, so I tell everything about myself.I don't give a damn. I let the whole world know because I mean, if it's just as simple as feeling, you know, if it's just as simple as you feeling like you're not alone from hearing me berate myself with my foolish mistakes, then so be it. Then, honey, I'll help you save your life, . And so,Edward: I feel honored that you feel so trusting in me to be able to share what you're sharing.DeVannon: Sharing is caring as they say. I don't, I don't care too much for cliches most of the time, but I'll use it right now. So, so, so, so, so it sounds like you get hired by a lot of, like businesses [00:49:00] medical places and things like that, like for your counseling and coaching services. But as you said, caregivers are, or everyone, so can someone reach out to you if they have.you know, a kid or a friend or a loved one who they feel like they may be overextending themselves even though they're not a nurse or a medical professional.Edward: Yes,DeVannon: Mm-hmm.Edward: I have on my website how to get in touch with me and, and I do a 30 minute free conversation.DeVannon: that's pretty generous. You know, 30 whole minutes . That's a lot. That's a lot of time in the coaching world. And so Well, if I, if I had 500 people, I might, I might do it 10 minutes, but I don't have 500 people.Well, I'm sure the people you do have love you and appreciate the work you're doing in their lives. So as we get ready to close, this is pretty much what I wanted to go over today. Thank you for being such a great guest. Were there any last words you [00:50:00] had for the world?Edward: Just that if you feel the symptoms of compassion fatigue or burnout or your feel, you're at your wits ends because you're a caregiver. Know that you can overcome it. I went through burnout 30 years ago, and I was, I was, I'll use the word saved because of, of a compassionate Jesuit priest who listen to my story and help me regain my inner strength to be who I am.and I attribute him in saving my life. So if I could be an instrument to help someone save their life, to see who they are and give their gifts to the world, that's what I'm, I'm committed to do instead of being a couch potato.[00:51:00]DeVannon: Okay. Well, I'm glad that you are here and not hanging out with Mr. Potatohead. I look forward to hearing about your continued contributions to the world. Thank you so much for joining me today, Dr. Edward Smith.De'Vannon: Thank you all so much for taking time to listen to the Sex Drugs and Jesus podcast. It really means everything to me. Look, if you love the show, you can find more information and resources at SexDrugsAndJesus.com or wherever you listen to your podcast. Feel free to reach out to me directly at DeVannon@SexDrugsAndJesus.com and on Twitter and Facebook as well.My name is De'Vannon, and it's been wonderful being your host today. And just remember that everything is gonna be all right.
El salario mínimo sube hasta los 1.080 euros mensuales, una cifra que permitirá a muchos trabajadores entrar dentro del concepto “mileurista”
El presidente de la CEOE, Antonio Garamendi, explica los motivos de la ausencia en la mesa del debate de la subida del SMI y da su visión sobre el acuerdo para la subida del mínimo¿Si sube el salario mínimo también sube mi sueldo? Así afecta el SMI
Unai Sordo (CCOO) y Pepe Álvarez (UGT) se sentan en nuestra mesa para analizar la nueva subida del Salario Mínimo Interprofesional que han acordado con el Gobierno y de la que se ha desmarcado la patronal. Más de dos millones y medio de trabajadores se van a beneficiar de esta nueva subida que deja el SMI en los 1.080 euros este 2023, un 47% más elevado que en 2018.
El presidente del Gobierno, Pedro Sánchez, ha anunciado una subida del salario mínimo interprofesional (SMI) para este año de 80 euros mensuales hasta los 1.080 euros en 14 pagas, tras alcanzar un acuerdo con los sindicatos. La patronal no ha participado en el acuerdo e Íñigo Fernández de Mesa, vicepresidente de CEOE, explica en el 24 horas de RNE que no han sido convocados ni preguntados por parte del Gobierno. Además, ha aprovechado para aclarar que "la CEOE siempre ha apoyado una subida de los salarios de forma responsable"Escuchar audio
We are so looking forward to sharing today's conversation with you! Our host Sarah Schalow got to record an amazing conversation with her friend Haley Smith. Haley has been at Desert Springs since the early 2000s and has literally grown up at the church. She was involved in the youth group, participating in SMI trips and all of the things we love to offer our students. Though Haley had a relationship with God she explains that she began to feel this tension of living two different lives during high school. She felt that she had to keep her struggles under wraps. After high school Haley attended the University of Arizona and tried her best to stay close to what she knew would be best for her. Being in a new environment brought ups and downs and Haley still had this feeling that she could not be open with those around her, especially those who knew her from home. One day in the spring of 2015 a decision she never thought she would make brought about a pregnancy at the age of 19. You'll hear Haley talks us through how she began to tell people around her, how the pregnancy brought her back to close community, what life was like as a young single mom and how her son Forrest made her want to be a better Christian and woman. Haley also met the love of her life at Desert Springs and became a college professor, you'll get to hear those stories too! Haley ultimately encourages all of us to remember that God never fails us; even when we have moments of failure, He is right there with us ready to walk us through. God and who He is never changes.Blog post where Haley announced she was pregnant: https://thedeetsonsweets.wordpress.com/2015/07/20/plot-twist/*Haley has lots of other posts that chronicle her pregnancy with Forrest if you want to check it out! Testimony video with Erica Wiggenhorn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zskZfYTQDJ0Connect Groups at DSCC: https://dscchurch.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/1391282For information on Men's Discipleship email Shawn Jones at email@example.comFor information on Women's Discipleship email Tracy Walker at firstname.lastname@example.orgIf you are pregnant and needing help, please know that you are not alone. We would love to walk with you in this. Send an email to email@example.com if you need help.Would you please subscribe and leave us a review? This will help our podcast reach more people! We'd love it if you'd share this podcast with your friends on social media and beyond. Join us next Wednesday to hear another story of God's faithfulness!
Die weltweiten Aktienmärkte sind gut ins neue Jahr gestartet. Nur ein relativ bescheidenes Wochenplus legten die US-Indices wie der Dow Jones oder der Nasdaq hin. Für Börsenkorrespondent Jens Korte liegt das daran, dass die Tech-Giganten, die mehrheitlich in den USA sind, an Wert verloren haben. SMI: +0.8%
Den Internet-Giganten Meta und Google springt die Werbekundschaft ab. Plattformen wie die chinesische Kurzvideo-App Tiktok springen in die Bresche. Für Börsenkorrespondent Jens Korte hat das auch mit der abkühlenden Wirtschaft zu tun. SMI: -0.7%
Der Schweizer Stromkonzern BKW vermeldet für 2022 einen Betriebsgewinn von rund einer Milliarde Franken. Das ist im Vergleich zum Vorjahr mehr als doppelt so viel. BKW-Konzernchef Robert Itschner sieht einen Grund dafür bei den hohen Energiepreisen Ende 2022. SMI: +1.5%
Trotz der starken Abwertung des Bitcoins im letzten Jahr bleibt die Branche optimistisch. Von einer Krypto-Eiszeit kann laut Olga Feldmeier, Gründerin der Schweizer Handels-Plattform Smart Valor, keine Rede sein. Der Preis werde sich 2023 erholen, solche Auf- und Abwärts-Zyklen seien normal. SMI: +2.3%.
2022 war ein schwaches Aktienjahr. Zu den grössten Verlierern gehörten die CS, Partners Group, Sika, Geberit und Givaudan. Gewonnen haben laut Raiffeisen-Investmentchef Matthias Geissbühler vor allem Titel, die eine hohe Dividende zahlen, wie etwa die Zürich Versicherung. SMI: -1.2%
Novartis bezahlt in den USA 245 Millionen Dollar, um ein Kartellverfahren beizulegen. Es ging um den Vorwurf, Novartis habe die Einführung eines Nachahmerprodukts illegal verzögert. Diese Praxis sei in den USA nicht unüblich, sagt Börsenkorrespondent Jens Korte. SMI: +0.4%
Seit diesem Jahr erhält man den Euro weniger als einen Franken. Dieser Wechselkurs verteuert Schweizer Exportprodukte. Laut Thomas Stucki, Anlagechef der SGKB, sei dies nicht schlimm. Die gestiegenen Produktionskosten der ausländische Konkurrenz aufgrund der Inflation würden dies ausgleichen. SMI: -0.2%
The Storm Skiing Journal and Podcast
To support independent ski journalism, please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This podcast hit paid subscribers' inboxes on Dec. 27. It dropped for free subscribers on Dec. 30. To receive future pods as soon as they're live, please consider an upgrade to a paid subscription.WhoJoe VanderKelen, President of SMI Snow Makers Recorded onNovember 28, 2022About SMI Snow MakersSMI is the largest U.S.-based snowmaking manufacturer, and one of the biggest such outfits in the world. Their guns sit at more than 1,000 facilities – mostly, but not exclusively, ski areas – all over the world. The company is based in Midland, Michigan, a place so flat that, if you turned it on its side, you'd roll forever and then simply tumble off the edge of the planet. An odd-seeming locale, perhaps, for a snowmaking manufacturer, until you've spent a winter there on those windy, frozen plains. SMI is not what we'd call a “consumer-facing brand,” but you'll see their product markings - V2, Axis, Grizzly, FreedomX, Puma, PoleCat, Wizzard - as you ski around. Super Puma is the one I seem to see most often, a stocky cannon with adjustable footings, perched hill-wise like a medieval defense. SMI's various guns have served eight Olympic venues, a point of immense pride for what is still a family-run operation. Joe's parents founded the company back in the ‘70s. He's been running it since 1991. You can learn more about them here:If you're ever driving US 10 through central Michigan, you can't miss the SMI factory and HQ, seated off the freeway just past the junction with Business 10 as you head west:Why I interviewed himA few weeks back, I wrote about the heroic efforts of ski areas throughout the Midwest, Mid-Atlantic, and Northeast to open in November in spite of abnormally warm early-season weather. After nodding to the usual aggressive corporate-owned badasses such as Sunday River and Killington, I called out some of the smaller operations that cracked open around the same time:More impressive, however, was New York State-owned Belleayre, seated just over two hours north of New York City, which opened the same day as Sugarloaf, beating most of New England to launch. Sister resort Gore also opened that day. Whiteface went live the following day, delivering its first-ever opening on the mountain's full 3,166-foot vertical drop. Vail Resorts' Hunter Mountain opened that day as well. Windham, five miles away (as the crow flies), opened Monday, Nov. 21. Further south, Bousquet, Massachusetts; Wisp, Maryland; and Massanutten, Virginia opened Nov. 25. In never-snowy Indiana, Perfect North opened Nov. 22, the mountain's third-earliest opening in its 43-season history.These sudden openings were not, I continued, spontaneous:These ski areas are not anomalies. They did not get lucky. Their rapid openings under marginal conditions across vast and varied geographic regions are the direct result of yearslong investments in better and more efficient snowmaking. They are the best-case present, yes, showcases of the most technologically advanced snowmaking equipment. But they also represent the future. One in which ski area operators are not passive victims of climate change, but active combatants against it, making more snow than ever in spite of less-than-ideal conditions, and doing so with equipment that uses a fraction of the energy of previous generations of snowmaking machinery.Much of that machinery comes from SMI, including nearly the entire system at Perfect North:Perhaps the most improbable get-open-and-stay-open outfit in the country is Perfect North. The ski area's base sits at just 400 feet. Of the 108 operating Midwest ski areas, only two sit farther south (Vail-owned Paoli Peaks, Indiana and Hidden Valley, Missouri). And yet, the ski area opened on just four partial days of snowmaking, which Perfect North General Manager Jonathan Davis characterized as “two mediocre nights, one fantastic night, and one good night.” Despite having just six additional snowmaking windows since, the ski area now sits at just over 50 percent open.Davis credits a few factors for this quick ramp-up: a 12,000-gallon-per-minute pumphouse feeding 260 snowguns, a seat on a valley floor that traps cold air, and institutional knowledge that can often predict snowmaking windows that the local weather forecasters miss.Again, this ski area sits in Indiana, where it snows like four inches per decade. There should not be skiing there. But there is. Because of SMI.Lift-served skiing in the United States does not exist without snowmaking. At least not as a commercial enterprise. Maybe it's something a few Bear-Trap Billys do, tromping off into the Cascades in their Army surplus jackets and skinny skis. Perhaps there are even a few ski areas. But without the big-city bases of voyaging tourists, who learn and practice on locals like Mountain Creek, New Jersey and Wachusett, Massachusetts and Afton Alps, Minnesota and Alpine Valley in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Ohio, the economic superstructure to support large-scale Rocky Mountain operations simply isn't there. What we talked aboutThe SMI story; Michigan skiing; a life of adventure running a global company; breaking down the company's footprint; how one of the flattest places on the planet became one of the global epicenters of snowmaking; Made in the USA pride; getting ahead of supply-chain problems and heading off future shortages; the company's one-of-a-kind snowmaking facility and why it's special; a primer on the global snowmaking industry and SMI's place in it; Snowmaking 101; why resorts blow snow into piles; the evolution of snow machines over time into more efficient, higher-capacity, simpler machines that make better snow and work in more variable temperatures; wet bulb temperature; making snow at the extremes; what snowmaking automation is and what it means; the amazing weather variability on a single mountain; “automated doesn't mean unattended”; ongoing resistance to automation and whether SMI will continue to offer manual snowmaking equipment; where snowmaking tech is headed in the future; swapping mechanical problems for tech problems as equipment grows more sophisticated; breaking down SMI's product lines; all-weather snowmaking; the lifecycle of a snowgun and how long the best of them can last; maintaining guns after install; creating a new system from scratch; a snowmaking system is like “a golf course irrigation system on a mountain,” but one that requires “really expensive sprinkler heads”; returning snowmaking water to the watershed; responding to the reductive environmental complaints about snowmaking as an energy and resource drain; [yes that's an NYC car alarm blaring in the background]; energy efficiency as a mission; creative energy-saving strategies; the amazing snowmaking installation that modernized Arizona Snowbowl; snowmaking as wildfire mitigation tool; how the ski industry can push back against the narrative that it's an energy hog and environmental liability; creating a new wonder of the world to pump snow onto the Olympic venues in Sochi; the resilience of skiing in the age of climate change; whether every ski area will eventually need snowmaking; intel on the next potential great ski regions; and skiing in Ukraine. Why I thought that now was a good time for this interviewListeners constantly write to me suggesting this or that interview. I appreciate this, and respond even when the suggestion is some version of “my cousin skied every ski area in Ohio in a single season and he has a great story and you should feature him on your podcast.” And I'm like thanks Bro but if I wanted to do podcasts with people my listeners wouldn't care about, I know plenty of them in real life. The Storm interviewee profile is not so much exclusive as it is well-defined: to qualify for this seat, you really either need to run a mountain, be in charge of people who do, write about lift-served skiing for a living, run some kind of website that's materially additive to the knowledge base around the sport, or make something that's fundamental to the enterprise, such as chairlifts or trailmaps.Joe, obviously, falls into the latter category. And he also holds the unofficial title of most-requested interview by my listeners/readers. Skiers really, really want to hear about snowmaking. Many – especially those who work in skiing – called out Joe in particular. So here you go.So why did I wait so long if this one was so obvious? Well, I tend to favor subjects I understand. And snowmaking, despite its relative simplicity from a mechanical point of view, has always seemed a bit intimidating as a discussion point. This matters when I'm shaping the questions that guide the interview.But, last summer, I finally toured the SMI factory and met Joe and his team in person. I grilled him for a couple hours and he showed me around and I was like yeah let's do this. Joe was an outstanding guest, who's lived his craft for decades, and I probably should have done it a lot sooner.What I got wrongI said that Taos was protected from wildfires because it sat at the end of a “valley.” I meant to say “canyon.” I discussed this at length with Taos CEO David Norden on the podcast last year:Podcast Notes* I mentioned that various folks claim to have invented snowmaking. Was it a Hollywood technical director in 1934? Was it a trio of Connecticut inventors? Grossinger's Resort in the Catskills? Mohawk Mountain? A Toronto ski club? It seems as though half the ski area websites in America include some tale about Old Cyrus Jenkins III creating the world's first snowgun with a hose and a ceiling fan strapped to a modified table saw. There's a reason for that: from a mechanical and physics point of view, snow is not that hard to make. What's hard is doing it well, which is why there are so few industrial-grade snowmaking companies today. Who made the first snowgun? I don't really know or, frankly, care, and I'll let the historians fight it out.* I actually grew up in Midland County, Michigan, where SMI's headquarters is located. There are no ski areas there. The closest, when I grew up in the small town of Sanford, were Apple Mountain in Freeland (now closed), Mott Mountain in Farwell (closed), and Snow Snake up in Harrison (still, thankfully, operating). All were less than an hour away, but SMI was the closest ski-related landmark. The factory sits directly off the US 10 expressway, the most important road in the area, and its multi-colored mural, rows of snowguns, and piles of manmade snow are impossible to miss while driving past.The Storm publishes year-round, and guarantees 100 articles per year. This is article 137/100 in 2022, and number 383 since launching on Oct. 13, 2019. Want to send feedback? Reply to this email and I will answer (unless you sound insane or, more likely, I just get busy). You can also email firstname.lastname@example.org.The Storm explores the world of lift-served skiing year-round. Join us. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.stormskiing.com/subscribe
Inflation ist das SRF-Börsenunwort des Jahres. Während in der Schweiz die Inflation bei aktuell drei Prozent liegt, ist das Niveau im Ausland deutlich höher. Inflation schadet den Aktienmärkten. Weltweit bekämpfen Notenbanken Inflation mit Zinserhöhungen, welche den Aktienbesitz unattraktiver macht. SMI:0.3%
De cosas enloquecidas y anticonstitucionales ha ido la semana. La aprobación de la Ley Trans, subida del SMI y otra semana más de rifirafes en las sesiones de control del Congreso y el Senado. Además nos acompañan Víctor Amat, el psicólogo más punki, y la Escuela de la Dulzaina de Aluche para felicitarnos la Nochebuena.
De cosas enloquecidas y anticonstitucionales ha ido la semana. La aprobación de la Ley Trans, subida del SMI y otra semana más de rifirafes en las sesiones de control del Congreso y el Senado. Además nos acompañan Víctor Amat, el psicólogo más punki, y la Escuela de la Dulzaina de Aluche para felicitarnos la Nochebuena.
Sam Bankman-Fried soll mit seiner Kryptobörse FTX im grossen Stil betrogen haben. Laut Jens Korte, Börsenkorrespondent des SRF, hat dieser Fall grosse Auswirkungen auf die gesamte Krypto-Industrie. Denn es werfe ganz grundsätzlich die Sinnfrage für die Krypto-Branche auf. SMI: +0.3%
CEOE Aragón ha hecho balance del año de los empresarios de la Comunidad. Un año de incertidumbre marcado por la inflación o la falta de ciertos perfiles en las empresas. Hablamos con Miguel Marzo, presidente de la patronal aragonesa, que nos habla de negociación colectiva, previsiones o el SMI. En la sección de "marketing" con María Gómez Campillo, directora del Máster de Comunicación Corporativa y Marketing de la Universidad San Jorge, conocemos la importancia de los últimos anuncios del año.
Das Medienhaus TX Group übernimmt zu einem Preis von 86 Mio. Franken die Firma Clear Channel Schweiz. Dadurch baut sie ihr Angebot an analogen und digitalen Plakaten in ihrem Werbegeschäft aus. Die TX Group ist nun auf Rang zwei im Schweizer Markt der Aussenwerbung. SMI:-0.7%
2022 geht als schlechtes Börsenjahr zu Ende – mit dem höchsten Jahresverlust seit 2008. Laut Thomas Heller, Anlagechef bei Belvédère Asset Management, dürften sich die Märkte im nächsten Jahr leicht entspannen. SMI: + 1.7 %
Ask not what your finances will do to you in 2023 ask what you will do with your finances! That, of course, is a play on a famous JFK quote, but it describes the need to take a proactive role with your finances in the New Year coming up. Mark Biller joins us today to tell us how to do that. Mark Biller is executive editor at Sound Mind Investing. At the end of each year, SMI compiles a list of tips to prepare for the ahead. You'll find this year's post, Your 10 Most Important Financial Moves for 2023, SoundMindInvesting.org. Biller explains that it's a round-up of planning suggestions for the year ahead. Rather than providing a one-size-fits-all type list, they instead serve up a broad range of ideas. The reader then picks their own personal Top 10 for 2023 list from the 70 or so suggestions discussed. Doing that and then following through on those specific items will make you a better steward of your resources and help you move closer to your long-term goals. The suggestions are broken into several categories: SPIRITUAL AND FINANCIAL FUNDAMENTALS Here are a few of the spiritual and financial fundamentals on the list: - Acknowledge God as the Lord over your finances. That's the starting point of Christian stewardship and an important ongoing aspect of a deepening relationship with Christ. - Make a plan for your financial journey. On these programs together, we frequently discuss the need to develop a biblically sound, personalized money-management strategy that informs your spending, saving, investing, and generosity. - Resist financial temptations. Handling money well takes more than learning the rules of good financial management. You also have to practice and develop self-control. Thankfully, self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit! So as we draw closer to Christ, that fruit should become increasingly manifest in our lives. STRENGTHENING YOUR FINANCIAL FOUNDATION If your foundation isn't fully in place, you should concentrate your 2023 efforts on the suggestions in this section. - Take advantage of the world's most effective personal finance tool: a budget. Unpopular perhaps, but a well-planned and executed budget is the single best tool available for effective money management. - One new one to the list this year is to comparison shop for higher interest rates on your savings. Interest rates have moved from near zero a year ago to the 4.0% range today. So moving your money to a savings account at an online bank can meaningfully move the needle on the amount of interest you can earn. - Similarly, consider putting some of your savings in U.S. Government I-Bonds. We've talked about I-Bonds a number of times together in recent months because they are paying inflation-adjusted rates well above any other savings vehicle. They have some restrictions but can be extremely attractive in the right circumstances. DEVELOPING YOUR INVESTING PLAN There is a lot in this section 26 suggestions! But here's the most important big idea: Scripture encourages us to prepare for the needs of tomorrow without becoming hoarders. So these suggestions can help you invest as a faithful steward who acts with prudence and wisdom. - Identify obstacles that are holding you back from saving for retirement and start moving them out of the way. Common roadblocks include auto loans, expensive housing, and generally poor money management. But often the biggest obstacle is simply not having a financial plan or any measurable goals. - Get familiar with the foundational biblical precepts related to investing. The Bible offers many timeless principles related to investing and wealth. Studying them and allowing them to become part of your thinking will help you apply those ideas to the investing decisions you face. - Become a better investor by using an inside-out approach. But the big idea here is to make investment decisions based on your personal inside-out needs and circumstances, rather than on outside-in expert opinions or market news. BROADENING YOUR PORTFOLIO Once you become an experienced investor, you can broaden your portfolio either to reduce risk or take advantage of market conditions. A few examples from this section include: - Learning about investments beyond stocks and bonds. We just had the worst year for traditional 60-40 stock/bond portfolios in decades. Fortunately, there are other options available today, and learning about things like commodities, real estate, and gold, just to name a few, can help add some additional diversification to a core portfolio. - On a similar note, learning about some easy ways to hedge market downside may be worthwhile. SMI has discussed several of these techniques and products this year. One that you may have to grapple with whether you go through our list or not is understanding the new investment options coming to many employer-based retirement accounts. Not all of these are necessarily good options, so it's important to be informed. LOOKING FORWARD TO RETIREMENT - Take advantage of the current bear market to convert Traditional IRA money to a Roth IRA. With investment account values down this year, it can be an attractive time to consider a Traditional-to-Roth conversion in order to have more tax-free income in retirement. - Another example from this section is assessing how much money you'll need to maintain your standard of living in retirement. SMI has some helpful pointers on how to do that for those with that transition on the horizon. And the most important category of all YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD First and foremost, Invest time in it. The most important goal of a Christian steward is to know Jesus the One who IS the pearl of great price. Valuing your relationship and communion with Him above your wealth and investments is a key cornerstone to keeping all this financial stuff in perspective. This has been a tough financial year for a lot of people. But if we trust in Jesus and bring our concerns to him, Christ will deliver us through the difficulties of life. We can live in hope because we serve a God who is too strong to lose control of any situation, He's too wise to make mistakes, and He's too loving to ever abandon us. Learn more about Sound Mind Investing at SoundMindInvesting.org. On today's program, Rob also answers listener questions: ● What factors should you consider when deciding whether to purchase a home right now? ● Would it be wise to open an annuity for an adult child? Remember, you can call in to ask your questions most days at (800) 525-7000 or email them to Questions@MoneyWise.org. Also, visit our website at MoneyWise.org where you can connect with a MoneyWise Coach, join the MoneyWise Community, and even download the free MoneyWise app. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1085/29
Der Chefökonom der Raiffeisen Schweiz Martin Neff ist überzeugt, dass die Inflation in der Schweiz ihren Zenit bereits erreicht hat. In der Schweiz sei nicht mit einer Rezession zu rechnen. Nichtsdestotrotz sei ein schwaches Wirtschaftswachstum im Jahr 2023 unvermeidlich. SMI: -1.1%
Schizophrenia: Three Moms in the Trenches
What if, for families coping with SMI (serious mental illness) in a loved one, the holiday season is "the most difficult time of the year"?The 3 Moms Discuss - Holidays past, in joy, crisis or grief - and how we currently celebrate what is...the best we can.Some tips we share:Lower Holiday expectations and Marketing Myths (e.g., perfect holidays)Plan Ahead - even for possible disasterHave a Plan B - and maybe C, D...Include Your Loved One as Much as Possible, Especially if They Can HelpDon't Let the "Unsqueaky Wheels" feel ignoredCherish the Good Moments - Find the PositivesBe Willing to Change Traditions as NeededSet and Enforce Limits - Know Your BoundariesImagine How it Is for Your Loved OneFamily Love Matters - You Do Make a DifferenceHappy (and Realistic) Holidays to You All!Want to Share Your Story in a Voice message?https://benbehindhisvoices.com/tell-us-your-story/Resources:Look Again Podcast: https://www.bcss.org/lookagain/Tips from NAMI: https://www.nami.org/Blogs/From-the-CEO/December-2021/The-Most-Difficult-Time-of-The-Year-Mental-Health-During-the-HolidaysMindy and her book: https://mindygreiling.com/Randye and her book: https://benbehindhisvoices.com/Miriam and her book: https://www.miriam-feldman.com/
This year saw the stock market go from a rocket launch to a rollercoaster ride, and many investors have decided to climb off. If you pulled out of the market before your portfolio could crash and burn, you needed a place to put your money. Today I'll talk to Mark Biller about an option you may want to consider: money market funds. Mark Biller is the executive editor at Sound Mind Investing. Money market funds haven't been too popular in recent years. But SMI has an article in its latest newsletter about how that's changing. There are a few common reasons why people find themselves with a decent amount of cash looking for a home. One is when a person completes their 3-6 month emergency savings goal and is looking for the best place to store that cash safely. Another is when an investor either takes money out of the market temporarily or has money to invest that they haven't put to work yet. Whatever the reason or purpose of the cash holding, one old option that has largely been abandoned over the past decade is back in play with today's higher interest rates the money-market mutual fund. THE RETURN OF THE MONEY-MARKET FUND A money market fund is simply a specific type of mutual fund that invests in very short-term, very safe debt issued by the government, and in some cases large banks and corporations, depending on the type of money market fund. In either case, because the debt is so short-term and issued by really solid sources, the risk in a money market fund is extremely low, while rates tend to be higher than what most banks typically pay on their savings accounts. Money-market funds aren't new - they've been around for roughly half a century. And for most of that time, they've been an excellent option for safe cash holdings. But that changed in 2008. Following the global financial crisis in 2008, the Federal Reserve lowered short-term interest rates to almost zero and left them there for a decade. When there's no yield to be found anywhere, the extra step of using a money market fund doesn't make sense, so people quit using them. But with short-term rates now up near 4%, money-market funds are back in the game, and investors are paying attention. In recent months, total net assets invested in MMFs have surged. WHEN RATES ARE RISING MMFs are appealing on the one hand because they are paying higher rates now, but they're also particularly good when rates are continuing to rise. MMFs tend to reflect interest-rate changes quickly because the short-term loans that make up their portfolio are constantly being repaid and new loans issued. So for example, last month's 3.5% loan is replaced by today's 4% loan, which can then be replaced by a 4.5% loan two weeks from now. That makes them perfect for a period of rising rates like we've had this year. Now it's important to point out that while MMFs are great for their specific job which is storing a person's liquid cash they're not a good choice for growing your capital over the long term. These are an alternative for savings accounts, NOT investment accounts, unless they're being used within an investment account to store a person's temporary cash. Good distinction there. Now, of course, money market funds aren't the only option for parking short-term money. So why might someone want to use, say, an online savings account vs. a MMF vs. a bond fund? MONEY-MARKET FUNDS VS ALTERNATIVES A lot of it comes down to what a person has convenient access to, along with what the purpose of that money is. An online savings account can be a great, super easy way for people to manage excess cash in their bank account. For example, a person might have their paycheck directly deposited into a checking account at their local bank. But their local bank likely is paying next to nothing on their savings accounts, so a person can easily find an online bank, like Capital One or many others, that is paying much better yields on their savings accounts. A few keystrokes can move money back and forth between their local checking and their online savings while picking up a few extra percent in yield. Most online savings accounts are also FDIC insured, whereas money market funds are not, so that's an important detail as well. Money Market Funds can also be used in this way, but they also have one other very helpful use they can be bought within most investment accounts as well. So for example, when SMI told its members to sell certain stock funds earlier this year and move those holdings to cash, it would have been easy for SMI members to sell the old fund and buy an MMF. They could do that right there within their IRA or another investment account, just like they would buy or sell any other mutual fund. Bond funds are a little different story. Bank savings accounts and money market funds are very similar in terms of the level of risk being taken. Bond funds include a much broader universe of investments that can range from super safe - like bank savings or money market funds - all the way out to super risky. So it's critical to understand what exactly you're getting when you buy a bond fund. What we're saying is all bond funds aren't created equal - there's a huge amount of variety between different types of bond funds. That's not a bad thing, by the way. The fact that there are all different types of bond funds means they can be used for lots of different purposes, including as a core holding within a person's long-term investment portfolio. You just have to be sure you're buying the right type of bond fund for the specific purpose that you need. That's the type of thing Sound Mind Investing deciphers and explains for its newsletter members every month. You can read more about MMFs in their article, Money-Market Funds Resume Role as Solid Option for Short-Term Cash at SoundMindInvesting.com. On today's program, Rob also answers listener questions: ● Are you able to put money into an IRA in the name of a young adult relative? ● How do you navigate concerns with allowing family to help you financially? Remember, you can call in to ask your questions most days at (800) 525-7000 or email them to Questions@MoneyWise.org. Also, visit our website at MoneyWise.org where you can connect with a MoneyWise Coach, join the MoneyWise Community, and even download the free MoneyWise app. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1085/29
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