All Grown Up Now

Ken learns a harsh lesson in the world of the grown-up.  Also, he has some humorous grown-up misadventures!

While hanging around a classy joint, Ken meets, and inadvertently dates a future felon.  Later, Mark up and moves away, surprising Ken.

The romance between Ken and Darrel blooms. Also, an attempted suicide by a friend brings them closer together. Plus, we meet Harry, who became one of Ken's mentors in the early days.

In this episode, in the spring of 1981, life is wonderful in Oklahoma City! Out of the blue, though, Ken gets a letter that will change the course of his life!

In this episode, Ken makes the Big Move from Oklahoma City to San Francisco!  Once there, h gets established in his job, finds an apartment, and gets into the swing of things in his adopted city.  In his travels, he meets The Bishop! This podcast is now sponsored by BearWorldMagazine.com

In this episode, we follow Ken as he explores the social whirl of his new adopted city, San Francisco,  We'll also get to meet The Bishop, and follow Ken’s brief career as a Cute Young Thing.  We also get to meet Susan, Ken's own Auntie Mame.

This begins a new phase in the friendship between Mark and Ken. Ken had his revenge, and started spending quite a lot more time away from Mark. In Act 1, the relationship looked somewhat like a parent/child relationship, with Mark serving as the parent/older brother figure to Ken. In this phase, unconsciously, the friendship changed to one of the child going out into the world and leaving the parent behind.

Ken makes the leap to working in window display at Macy's, where he has a Boss From Hell.  He also meets Loren and Craig, the two display trimmers who teach him more than display-they tutor him in the art of the Bon Mot. In the meantime, Mark introduces Ken to his first paying client, which plants the seeds for a new business!

Mark gets Ken his first design client, which spurs Ken to start his own business.  While Ken is starting a business, Mark disappears to Los Angeles. Also, Susan shows what a good sport she is by attending all sorts of weird performances with Ken, while wearing odd accessories!

In this episode, Ken makes his escape from his "real job" in window display to start his business.  In the meantime, he visits Mark in Long Beach, and has an epiphany that pushes him to escape his own relationship.

In this episode, Ken goes through a messy divorce from his Trophy Husband, and the Stock Market Crash of 1987 all in one season!  We also get to see Ken bathing in the nude!

 Ken's career starts to rev up, as he picks up the remnants of his life after divorcing the Trophy Husband. The Very Posh Store orders hats for Ken's favorite rock Star!  This success puts a strain on the friendship between him and Mark. In the meantime, Miss Ann finally "gets" what Ken's doing with his life.

In this episode, Ken gets over his prejudices about self-improvement and gets into therapy. In the midst of his glamorous success, he needs to take some time out to deal with Real Life issues with Miss Ann in Oklahoma City.  

After Miss Ann dies, Ken sees how her family behaves, which helps him to understand why she was who she was.  We also hear from Susan, Ken's own "Auntie Mame", and hear some of her philosophy on life!

He sat on the edge of my bed, and I asked him if he had died the day before.  He said that yes, he did, but wanted to come back to tell me everything would be OK.  This is his story.

In therapy, Ken looks at the similarities of Mark to Miss Ann.  They look at her bad decisions,  depression, and the used-car salesman who boondoggled her out of the college money.  As amusement, we get to hear about how Miss Ann wins the "Stand By Your Man Award" for 1977 in the process!

When Mark admits to Ken over the phone that he is getting beaten regularly, Ken expounds on the evils of domestic violence. As an example, in this episode and the next, Ken will tell Mark, and you, Dear Listener, about Miss Ann's second husband, and the domestic violence he experienced by watching the two of them.

In this episode the family makes the move to Oklahoma City, and descends into a vortex of domestic violence.  There were bright spots, though-Ken has his first boy crush, and has a life-changing revelation at the hands of Miss Ann. The episode ends, with Ken drawing a hard line with Mark about the domestic violence he is experiencing with Victor.  The end also is the end of the friendship (Ken believes) and is the end of Act 2 in the novel.

In the beginning of Act 3, Ken gets a call from Mark in March of 1995--five years after they last spoke.  In this episode, Ken goes down to Los Angeles to kidnap Mark and bring him back to San Francisco.  Ken also gets some lessons on domestic violence and the gay community as it was at the time.

In this episode, Ken begins by filling us in on the five-year gap between Act 2 and Act 3.  Once the two land in San Francisco, the journey out of this domestic violence situation begins.  With brief detours for fashion and style.

In this episode, Mark finds an apartment, and starts getting harassed in person by Victor. Ken writes the petition, which Mark argues for himself in court, winning a restraining order with conditions.  The next day,Ken and Mark do a commando raid on the apartment in Los Angeles, decently-attired,wearing underwear. Hilarity ensues!

In this episode, Mark and Ken get surprised by a lawsuit after the commando raid.  This is where Ken remembers his experience from his youth--crazy people are unpredictable.  You can't predict what they will do. In the meantime, Ken gets to go on a dream date with the Man Downstairs-hilarity ensues!

In this episode, Mark and Ken start out to update Mark's Gay Card, which is seriously in arrears, by attending the director's cut of David Bowie in The Man Who Fell To Earth.  This experience was not a good one.  Afterwards, Mark has his first art exhibit in almost twenty years! Then, he and Ken plot to kidnap Gordon from The Netherlands.

All Mark ever wanted was the most normal things in the world--good friends, satisfying work, happiness.  We start the episode with just that--a dinner party where Mark, Ken, and two other of Mark's friends are enjoying roast chicken and vegetables--the most normal thing in the world. Events develop from there.

Now that the story has ended, the people involved just didn't disappear--their stories continued. This is what happened to them. 

High-school-aged Ken receives his first piece of real grown-up jewelry, and a life lesson.

Blind dates can be a good ting, or a recipe for disaster.  For Ken, they have been disaster in the past.  We get to hear of three of Ken's funnier blind date stories!

In this short story, we hear of a first crush, between an awkward teenage boy (Ken) and the Object Of His Affection, a motorcycle-riding country boy.

In this episode, we hear about Ken's first pair of expensive shoes, which he paid a week's salary for in 1980. Further, we get to see just what these shoes represented.

In this episode, we hear a couple of amusing tales about how the Howard Street studio in San Francisco attracted crazy people!

This is a tale of a fashion model and a high-fashion gown, leavened with a bit of crazy! 

In this episode, we hear about the one piece of hate mail that Ken ever received, from the losers at a crazy evangelical "church".  It gives a window onto that it looked like, and how it proved to be a good thing.

This is an extended version of the story of Ken's teenage driving school. He only had one student, but she passed her driving exam!

In Boys' Shorts, you get a couple of short stories.  The first is on the importance of adjectives, the second is a tale of Ken's one-and-only "walk of shame"!

The Three Month Rule is Ken's way of making sure that he doesn't do anything stupid in regards to romance.  Have a listen and see how it works!

This episode is a story of how Ken and his family "dodged a bullet", and not merely metaphorically.

This is the extended story of Mrs. Freeman, Ken's first landlady and Guardian Angel.  You get to hear the history, as well as an update from New York!

Two brief stories:  Anna-Nicole Smith and the Mustard Jar, and Stuart's Gay Card.

This episode details how Miss Ann lost a very valuable piece of her history after her wallet was stolen. in the process, Ken gets mashed on by a saggy stripper.

Susan Weiss, and her husband George, were Ken's surrogate parents when he moved to San Francisco in 1981.  They were a glamorous couple who ran a famous jazz club called the Blackhawk in the Tenderloin during the 1950's and early 1960's.  Susan was Ken's fabulous Jewish Mother, and he adored her.  This is her story.

This episode chronicles one day in the late 1990's in San Francisco. This was the day that Ken knew that San Francisco had reached a tipping point. The central character is Carmel, the Mayor of Langton Alley.

Learn about the adventures of Ken, Pearl, Elka, and the black-sock-fetishists!

One of my New York stories:  Patty is one of the many strong women who populate my life.  Stylish, intelligent, successful--she is what Barbie wanted to be when she grew up! With cameo appearances by Michelle Obama and Amanda Lepore! Music by Dat Oven.

This is a short tale of how decisions one makes can impact others. Authenticity is something I've chosen, and every now and then, I get confirmation that I've made the right choice.

Ken regards Darrell as the Gold Standard for Stand-up men. They dated in the early 1980's in Oklahoma City, and this is their story!

Boys' Shirts 3 is two stories:  The Qualities of Silence, and Beards and Veils. You will learn that silence sounds different depending on context, and also--why men don't wear veils!

In everyone's life, there are decisions that impact on all else that comes after.  For this episode, Ken talks about the decision that has impacted the rest of his life-- his coming out.

We met Carmel in the earlier episodes of the podcast.  Carmel was Ken's Crazy Boss at Macy's in California in the early 1980's.  Here we get the rest of the story. Bonus: The story of Auntie Bob.

Pearl August was one of the strong women I met and loved in my early New York days.  This is her story.

I find that there are places that seem to agree with me, and some that don't.  Chicago and the surrounding suburbs--don't.  This is not a diss of Chicago, it's just--me. Redacted for your listening pleasure!

Ken quite his job at Macy's, trading down to work for a store in San Francisco called The Emporium. This podcast recounts some of his misadventures there.

Hear about Ken's personal Valentine's Day Jinx, and how it eventually broke.

In Boys' Shorts 4, learn about caged birds and bad luck, and how 1,399 gay men can create a microclimate!

This is a musing on choices--choices that broaden one's horizons as well as ones that narrow them, illustrated by observing Miss Ann's choices growing up.

In this short episode, learn about how Ken ruined a career in fast food.  Also, mud wrestling!

In this episode, we hear of the time when Sir Elton sent flowers to Ken's studio-warming party in 1989.  The effect of this gesture was to finally convince Miss Ann that her son had actually "made something of himself".

We learn the hilarious circumstances whereby Ken gets his first sunburn in Oklahoma City in 1981!

Success is different things to different people.  There are the markers of success--fame, money, exposure in the media--but who defines it?  And why not define it for oneself?

In my time in retail, I encountered a number of formidable women--individuals who had style, class, humor, and power. This podcast is an hommage to some of them.

Sometimes we don't quite know in the moment, what a particular thing will mean over time.  This story, of a piece of jewelry I made early in my career, illustrates one instance in my life, where the long view made sense when looking at the history of that particular piece.

Boys' Shorts 6 is about inspection stickers, motorcycle cops, and checkbooks.

This is an hommage to another of the powerful women who have influenced my life and career.  Simmin (pronounced "Simone") Sethna taught me French Couture Patternmaking, as well as survival skills.  At 5'1" in high heels, she remains a towering influence in my life.

I've only had one dog, which raised the bar so high for fabulous dogs, I've never wanted another. Her name was Daisy, and she was  the love of my life.

This is a short little podcast with a holiday message!

When I talk to my students at FIT, I refer to Shelley as the Gold Standard, as far as interns go.  Here's her story.

This is a little reflection on my particular athletic ability, discovered at Gay Boy Summer Camp.

This is a sad story of a young woman from my Kansas years.

This episode tells of an epiphany I had in Paris in 1995, that influenced the direction of my work for years to come.

Hangry is a word used to describe someone who is hungry and irritable. Andrew does hangry in the most charming way!

A short podcast because everyone needs a good laugh in these strange times.

This is a short story about a humorous thing that happened at a Sunday lecture.

My way of trying to make sense of crazy times.

This is a short tale of my one and only encounter with a fashion icon. To all my listeners, please stay in and stay safe!

This was a heartwarming moment from my early days in New York--it made me not feel so alone or anonymous.

I don't give up on friendships easily, but sometimes it's necessary. This is the story of Gretchen (not her real name), and the history of a friendship.

The question of the mask--why is it a question? Discuss.

This is a tale of one person's choice of how to deal with the question of sexual harassment in order to advance a career.

In this Special Report, I tell you all, and remind myself, that when turbulent times are upon us, to NOT ask--"what else can happen?" Because you'll find out. 

There are many strong women who populate my life. One of them is a gal named Patty.  Here's her story!

Sometimes a gift is more than a gift, and a dream can travel into the future.

This is a short story of a college writing assignment as an epiphany.

But is it? A holiday wish for all of my listeners.

  A short funny story to distract us all from what's going on in the news.

This is a reprise of an earlier podcast, after many requests. So enjoy! One time can jinx a day for years. This is a reprise of an earlier podcast, after many requests. So enjoy!

This is the story of my small burst of stardom as a hip hop video extra.

The daffodils in bloom this spring remind me of Daisy.  I've only had one dog, which raised the bar so high for fabulous dogs, I've never wanted another. Her name was Daisy, and she was  the love of my life. This is a rerun of an earlier episode, but spring always reminds me of her.

In this episode our hero ponders if one could be charged as an accessory to a crime, for making accessories?

It's interesting to observe the effects of people when they are the center of a sphere of influence.

Just because someone answers, doesn't mean they can talk!

This long-form episode allows me to pay hommage to a dear departed friend, Norma Tringali. It also allows me to share one of the most important lessons I learned from her.

Gifts come in many forms.  My cousin Lorie, who passed in late November, gave me a priceless gift. This is her story.

A snarky comment on my Instagram feed compels me to clear the air. This may ruffle some feathers but needs to be said.

A recent visit to Oklahoma City cemented in my mind, that the big choices I've made in my life were good ones.

Wilbur Dean King didn't get much play in previous episodes, but he still looms as an important figure in my childhood.  Here is his story.

An incident from my childhood spurred a seemingly irrational fear, that has come back to haunt me these days.

And yes indeed, this is the point--craft as my salvation.

A short amusing holiday story involving celebrity sightings.

In the first podcast on a dream as a gift to the future, I began talking about this idea. In my life, it has played out again recently.

It's amazing when a remark from years ago is suddenly remembered, and now makes more sense.

This episode is about Ken's love affair with Fortuny, and how that rare fabric found him his husband!