et cetera with Bouge & Rouge

It do be like that sometimes, yk?Today's episode is a fully unscripted unfiltered unedited phone call to a friend kinda chat where I sit down and just ramble about what's on my mind. I share the lore of our MDW cruise trip and then dive into deep water of my emotions lately. Life has been a weird uncomfortable limbo where a lot of things are occurring at once, nothing terrible but nothing that leaves you feeling good about anything. I walk through the types of coping mechanisms we often fall towards in moments like these and share what I'm doing to get through it - because the only way out is through. Forgive me for not sharing the exact details as a lot of things to need to stay offline. I hope you get the gist and if it made no sense, congrats you're in a stable place! LOL 

This episode is dedicated to my family, especially my parents, who I appreciate more and more every year for everything they equipped my arsenal for life with. Happy AAPI month! This week, we are diving into my personal experiences as a first generation female Asian American from growing up in the 90s/2000s to understanding how to break generational habits and trauma as an adult. I chat about the obstacles this specific generation of American-born Asians go through from managing expectations to teaching our elders how to be emotionally equipped and break the chain of harmful cultural beliefs. Lastly, we discuss the phenomenon of "woke" culture and how to properly navigate it as a curious outsider and as an Asian American with the capabilities to educate others. Please keep in mind that this is just touching the surface of my experiences. I did my best to summarize. These are also solely my own experiences, so I am not speaking for anyone but myself. 

Huang Gang or die. JK JK. Shoutout to all of my friends - past, present, and future - who shaped me into the woman I am today! This episode is because of you :) Let's talk about the trials and tribulations of adult friendships. There are circumstantial friendships (ones you make in school, when it's situational, etc.) and substantial friendships (ones that last because you both nurture it). Your 20s are where you'll find yourself building or breaking these relationships. Today, I share my experiences with cliques, growing pains, girl fights, and avoidant people. I walk you through multiple scenarios with different people I've encountered in my 20s and what lessons I extracted from those situations. Lastly, I give my two cents on how to keep quality friendships as you get older to make sure everyone is a substantial and not situational friend. DISCLAIMER: This is not an episode made to "spill tea" or trash anyone in my past but rather share what those hardships taught me and how I currently carry myself in adversity with others. *NOTE: Sorry the audio is not super consistent. I'm still trying to understand my new apartment's acoustics and how to adjust so the mic isn't so sensitive to P sounds and background noises like our AC or air purifier.*

Met Gala, Coachella, that random b*tch's outfit over there at the bar... We're all judging the first impression from outfits to the whole vibe.Most conversations you have out in the wild will eventually center around an art of expression. Whether you're talking about fashion, music, TV show, movie, book, a piece of art and so forth, you're usually hoping to bond with someone over something that speaks to you. While humanity is shallow by default, our souls will always crave a connection with depth. That is why how we present ourselves is so vital to attracting the right people and energy into your life. Let's chat about the root of judgement when it comes to self expression.

Oh look who it is... moi! After 2.5 years of a random and unexpected hiatus here, I am making yet (another) comeback. This time, I'm hopeful I'll stick around. Before we get into a myriad of much more interesting topics on the docket, I need to reintroduce myself and tell you all where I've been since end of 2022 and why the years have aged me like fine wine (hopefully? lol). Welcome back to Et Cetera, the fully developed frontal lobe version!!!

The moment you've all been waiting for: the tea spilling tell all of my 5 Guys A Week episode that premiered this past week on Lifetime. I know it's a long one but I did my best to truncate it without sacrificing the drama. Enjoy and binge watch for FREE online for the next 30 days. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @bougeandrouge and @etc _podcast for the latest updates!

In a mountain range, there are many peaks and valleys. In your life, you are also going to have many peaks and valleys. We are so driven by societal pressure to constantly be at our best that we forget to ask ourselves between the hustling: are we actually happy? Do these goals and paths make us feel fulfilled or purposeful? In this episode, I discuss the truth behind "peaking" in life and how we can easily continue to "peak" if we find ourselves stuck in a valley. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @bougeandrouge and @etc_podcast! 

Six months later, she lives to tell the tales! In this extended episode, we are going to chat about everything that has happened since 2022 began and the entire backlog of emotional experiences I've been working through. ICYMI, yours truly filmed for a new dating reality show called Five Guys A Week airing Wednesdays on Lifetime at 10/9c starting July 13th. We'll be talking about the premise of the show and why I did it. Then, we'll get into a deep summary of some very personal life events that have been going on. I would argue that this may be the most stripped down version of Erica you've ever gotten... These 6 months have been some of the hardest in my life, but I wouldn't trade the lessons or experiences for anything. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @bougeandrouge and @etc_podcast for the latest updates!

Your girl is finally (kind of) off vocal rest and back on the podcast! In today's episode, we talk about the one thing that impacted me the most in 2021: the ego. Hear about how this lovely third party caused fights with friends, manifested poorly in the workplace, and revealed deep-rooted issues in relationships. Listen closely for a few little Easter eggs I drop about what is in store for me as well ;) Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @bougeandrouge and @etc_podcast for the latest updates!

With only one week of summer left, we gather again to reflect on the wild summer post-quarantine (sort of). This summer wasn't as... horny or wild as we all thought. I'm sure for some it probably was, but for most people it was just trying to re-calibrate back into society (as if it wasn't already hard enough before COVID). In this episode, I get a little more serious than the last one as we dive into everything chaotic that led up to a heavy but pivotal moment this summer. Then, we chat about true meaning of "Hot Girl Summer" and what it means to be "THAT girl" and how to become her. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge for updates!

Your girl is back and doing this a little differently today! You've asked for the tea, so I served you Long Island Iced Tea. In this extended episode, I share with you why I've been MIA for 4 months and all the drastic life changes that happened to me this spring. We chat about the hardships of saying goodbye and fears of the unknown hellos. Afterwards, we go in deep (literally) on all the details on my boy toys and the lessons they brought. From the smallest ween to the biggest peen, I am not holding back! Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge for updates!

There are two things that are always & forever: 1) the To All The Boys saga tugging at my heart strings 2) needing help with dating woes. In episode 17, I talk about the different phases you go through in dating. In this episode, we're going to talk about the highly requested topic of my top 5 lessons I learned from dating. Contrary to what you think, it's not going to be the typical BS like "If he wanted to, he would!" or "Play this game to get that to happen" but rather what YOU can do as an individual to avoid getting yourself in unnecessary situations with immature or unworthy people. But even if you do, don't forget I got your back and will have more dating advice ready for you, always and forever ;). Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge! 

Tale as old as time, there's always the story of a beauty and the beast. But in modern times, the love story seems to be between their D and their m-f-ing audacity. The highly requested dating episode is here! Today we'll focus on dating off of apps from the big three red flags to look out for to the kind of guys you want to avoid matching with. Towards the end, I share a private anecdote about my recent hardships in love and how it sucks to bear the burden and suffer the punishment of "women just mature faster than boys" bullsh*t. I also share some important lessons I hope every person out there learns when it comes to finding a healthy loving relationship rather than a codependent addiction between two toxic individuals. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!

It's crazy just how much we still obsess over our image and reputation when we know what others see online or in passing are not accurate representations of who we are as individuals. As nice as it is to give someone a good impression, since when has the 60 second trailer accurately portrayed what happens in the movie? In this episode, we talk about how worrying about optics is fruitless because people will believe what they want to believe. In a world with a very large peanut gallery, the best thing to do is invest energy into just being yourself on your own terms. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!

Today we talk about conflicts in the workplace, with friends, with family, and when dealing with politics. While I don't go into the topics of this election, I use the conflicts that politics in 2020 have created as an example on how to manage conflicts in interpersonal relationships. As tough as fighting can be, conflicts often bring us growth and progress if dealt with maturely. It enables us to broaden our views and learn. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge for blog and YouTube content!

Raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by your own art self-sabotaging? In the second episode of season two, we catch up on what's been going on around me the last two weeks and about an exciting new project I am working on. Then, we explore the truth behind the art of self-sabotaging. Whether or not we want to admit it, we often sabotage out of fear of rejection or repeating trauma. However, this preventative protection hurts us the most in the long run... Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge for blog and YouTube content!

BIENVENUE TO SEASON TWO! Season one was cute and all, but I'm back and doing things a little differently this time. Let's be honest: polish is for my shoes and my 9-to-5 job, NOT for my creative platforms. In this season, you're going meet the real Erica, the one who burps so loud the room shakes, the one who soft smiles for the gram but bares her crooked smile when going off on a disrespectful prick, the one who is not afraid to give her opinion and doesn't care if you disagree. She's not everyone's cup of tea, but I promise she will serve the tea. Tune in to the first episode to hear what I've been up to and how living alone through a dramatic 3 months of utter BS taught me the most valuable lessons on self-respect and the importance of self-reliance. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge for blog and YouTube content! 

Whoops, I'm like 6 weeks late here but we're finally at the season one finale episode! (Don't worry, because I took a long break I will launch season two very soon.) Today's episode is a shorter one. I update you on what's been going on in the last 2 months (apartment hunting, moving, switching work projects, personal and family events) and then dive into the 7 things I learned in this first chapter of my adult/post-grad life. The theme, as you can tell from the title, is impermanence. Everything in life is temporary, the good and the bad. I've learned a lot about how to embrace change and discomforts from growth, and I hope you my lessons will resonate or comfort you as you shift two new phases in your life as well. My "chapter one" came to an end sometime early this year, and I have nothing but exciting (and probably overwhelming) things planned for this next chapter. I can't wait to take you guys along! Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge.

**NOTE: This episode was recorded on SUNDAY, MAY 31, 2020 and my thoughts on the events up until that day. For my current stance, please visit the BLM highlights on my Instagram @bougeandrouge.** Today's episode was the hardest to record. After nearly 5 redos and 15 hours of labor, I'm still not sure I said everything perfectly. I hope that you allow me an hour of your time to hear my perspectives on the changes this year brought, especially if you are a fellow Asian American. In the first 30 minutes, I talk about what I've seen in the last 5 months and how these negative events are bringing crucial changes to society to permanently better it. The latter 30 minutes is dedicated to the last change I bring up: ending systematic racism. I share my perspective of non-BLM non-peaceful protests in NYC and the emotions I'm feeling as I am trying to be the best ally I can be to my black brothers and sisters. Lastly, I discuss the fundamental issues in the Asian American/Asian immigrant communities that are feeding into the systemic racism and oppression in our country (sorry, I know I accidentally say systematic in the episode). From being told pale skin equates to beauty and we must maintain our Asian roots while appearing "as white as possible" at a young age, the points I bring up are not easy to swallow. They are ugly and jarring, but they are the truth. I pray that shedding light on our deep rooted issues will push us to change our ways so we can better support the #BLM movement and the greater war on racism. If you have any resources about BLM please send them my way so I can continuously learn how to better support the cause. Stay tuned for the season one finale on JUNE 16. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!

In today's short episode, I catch you guys up a little on what I've been doing this quarantine, the skills I'm trying to learn, and what new content I will be creating on my other platforms. After the usual chitchat, I share with you my Ten Commandments to living peacefully starting at 12:00. People who know me in real life often ask me how I stay stable despite the emotional turmoil I've gone through in life, so I answered your requests and put my 10 rules together for you in ascending order with my big fat #1 commandment last. I hope you find serenity in implementing these in your life too. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagam @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge! 

Drink every time I say "you know?" in this podcast... Sorry guys haha! Anyways, Lara Jean isn't the only one with lovers of the past! Quarantine is bringing out some of our subconscious thoughts or thoughts of the past that we may not have allocated the proper time and attention to. With time to ourselves to reflect and introspect, we can truly see that hindsight is 20/20. Everyone's journey to their life partner/spouse (if they choose to not stay single for life) may not look the same, but there are definitely phases we all go through. Today I discuss the importance of each phase and what crucial information it gives us as we piece together exactly who we are looking for to spend the rest of our lives with. From first love to second love through exploration up until the surprise guy (gotta listen to find out!), we dive into the impact each of these experiences has on how we love and who gives us the right love we need. Remember that no person or object embodies love. Love is a spirit within us that never leaves, can be shared, and always there in our hearts. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!

March Madness just took on a whole new meaning in 2020. In this special episode, I open the conversation on current events for the first time on the podcast. We are witnessing history repeat itself in new contexts. From the epicenter of the worst outbreak in the United States (and arguably eventually the western hemisphere), I come to you with a live depiction of life in New York City right now. COVID-19 has not only impacted a large number of people directly linked to or one degree apart from me, but has also impacted every aspect of every person's life no matter who we are. I'll be walking us through the impact of this outbreak on employment (16:30), daily life and your relationship with yourself (21:57), social life (28:20), love life (35:37), political systems (38:30), the US and global economy (43:24), and the war against stupidity also known as racism (47:31). Being Asian American, this last part hits home as we are witnessing a rise in hate crimes and a President of the free world call this a "Chinese virus" and others calling it the "kung flu." Please remember that if this virus does not discriminate, neither should you. Stay safe and STAY HOME, mes chéries. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge! 

In light of all the events that have occurred both in the world and personal life thus far in 2020, we are continuing to keep it light here on et cetera. Today let's spend just a few minutes addressing the epidemic I have now renamed #budlightvirus (because that sh*t is everywhere and no one likes it) and what we can do to decrease anxiety and panic to better our mental health as we enter this serious world-stopping crisis. Afterwards, we will dive into your submissions on the crazy things only New Yorkers will experience living in this city. Grab a bottle and get ready... (P.S. I know I can't count because I accidentally skipped two but looking back they weren't that great anyways.) Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge! 

Bonjour mes chéries, Bianca here. Erica needed a break from the bullsh*t so she asked me to take over this week for a fun story time episode. Thanks to follower submissions, we are ranking our spirits from least favorite to favorite and sharing the wildest stories that accompany them. From live frogs to getting licked to bartop teeth kissing to 38 year young to many sextuations, buckle up and grab a bottle because you have no idea what's in store... If you're a personal friend of mine, see if you recognize the "honorable mentions" at the end that we just simply too scandalous for the internet ;). Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!

We spend our whole lives feeling controlled by time whether it's too much of it or not enough of it, yet we are the ones that created the concept of it. We always want more of it but waste it frequently. It's so valuable yet costs nothing, but sometimes can cost us everything. It is elusive and unattainable yet precious and always there. Today we talk about what time truly does for us and how it's always working to promise something better on the horizon. I discuss how I manage to not let it consume me or control my life and how it truly reveals all truths and heals all wounds. I also discuss divine timing and how certain things will never happen until you go through necessary chapters or cycles of your life which is why you often come across the "right" opportunity or person at the "wrong" time even though that "wrong" time is servicing something good. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge! 

It's almost Valentine's Day, also known as Single Awareness Day or the most hated day of the year! You know what topic is coming...dating. Dating in New York City is an Olympic sport of its own. For those of you who don't live in the city, I promise you it's nowhere near as glamorous as Carrie Bradshaw's or Serena van der Woodsen's tales. However, it is just as dramatic and exhausting. In part one of the Unhinged series, I bring on one of my best friends/old roommates Lauren to talk about the impact of technology and NYC lifestyle on dating in your 20s. We talk about dating apps, LinkedIn stalking, expectations of partners,  the difference between on paper versus in person, and more. You'll also hear the long-awaited results from my Instagram polls and a quick sneak peek to Part 2's topics (hint: it's all about sex). Those files were completely deleted and needs to be re-recorded so ignore me when I say in the podcast that it is up. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge! 

Happy Lunar New Year/新年快樂 everyone! After a two week hiatus, we are back to chat about mental health. In this episode, I share my mental health journey thus far from childhood till adulthood. As you all know, I am passionate about making mental health a common everyday topic that people are not afraid to talk about. If we aren't willing to face and talk about our issues, how do we possibly fix them? TRIGGER WARNINGS: anxiety, depression, suicide, bipolarity, ADD/ADHD

Happy New Year, mes chéries! Let's kick off the new year with my resolutions. In this episode, I'm elaborating on my most recent blog post: https://www.bougeandrouge.com/newyear2020. We'll chat about why I choose these resolutions and how I plan on accomplishing them in hopes of inspiring you to follow through with yours. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!

For the last episode of the year/decade (depending on how dramatic you want to be), I sit down and do my year in review. After a long few years filled with strings of heartbreaks and breakdowns, 2019 was the final leg of the marathon to figuring out who I am and what I really want. You'll hear me tell the story of how I spent the year soul searching and found the answer in a very unexpected way just two days before the decade ends. This year, I challenged my intuition (which has never failed me) expecting to change outcomes in life and in love. I chat about how you can be so confident and sure of yourself yet unhappy and lost. Lastly, I share my first few 2020 resolutions with you. Thank you all for your continuous support! I can't wait to see you all in 2020. Happy new year, mes chéries. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!

Unlike previous episodes, I did not have notes or hit pause once during this stream of consciousness so listen at your own caution! In this very raw and unfiltered episode, I share with you the return of my anxiety attacks and its causes as well as the stress of the holiday season. Please note that I might be taking a hiatus the next two Tuesdays (24th and 31st) for the holidays! If so, this will be 2019's last episode. The next episode will be posted during the first few days of January 2020. I hope you all have a Happy Hanukkah/Merry Christmas mes chéries. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!

How good are you at "stalking" people using social media? Are you at CIA level like I am? This is the first episode to my mini series #NoFilter. For the inaugural episode, we talk about the evolution of social media over the last 20 years and the business and personal powers of influence. You'll learn how I stalk (or "data mine") people on the internet as well as how my true feelings towards social media. TRIGGER WARNING: Skip 6:00-12:15 if you are sensitive to self-harm and topics related to suicide. Over the course of the miniseries, we will discuss specific areas like how it influences your day-to-day, consumerism, work, and relationships. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!

As we start the last month of the decade, I reflect on what I've accomplished over the past year and what I'm hoping to bring into 2020. I share my areas of personal growth and how I finally felt like the woman I've wanted to become once I started being brutally honest with myself. I also share my methods of self-care and introspection from physical activities to creative outlets to some a little more taboo... Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!

A yoga instructor opened her class with the line "Balance is bullsh*t" and every millennial in the room nearly lost his/her mind for the entirety of class. Throughout our lives, we're taught to have a "work-life balance" or a "balanced diet." So why is it that every time we think we finally achieve it, it escapes us right away? What's really tipping the scales? How do we find our way back to that solid equilibrium? In this Thanksgiving week episode, I chat briefly about what I'm thankful for in 2019 before diving headfirst into the topic of balance. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!

We're pausing the deep dark thoughts of this podcast to welcome our first guest, Rebekah! From our iconic "Thots with Thoughts/Thoughts with Thots" Halloween costume in college to tearing up the 412 and 212, there was never a more dynamic duo. In this episode, you'll join your local Aries and Leo in a fun unfiltered chat about funny college stories, our astrological birth charts, and how all fashion is turning into fast fashion. Oh and don't worry if you can't get enough of it. She'll be back very soon for a Whine & Wine episode! Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!

This city has a certain je ne sais quoi quality that draws people from all walks of life to it. There's something special about how it can shape you so deeply especially in your early adult lives. From reflections of early post-grad adjustment hardships to recent loss in love, we're going to talk about the unspoken "ugly" sides of New York living and loving. Believe or not, these 50 minutes just barely scratch the surface of it all... There will definitely be a part 2 on this topic. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!

We live in a renter's world. We rent homes, cars, clothes, and people. Once we're done, we exchange for something better. But how can we truly feel safe and at peace with ourselves if we can't even find a home base for more than a few years at a time? Today we talk about how being our own guard creates walls which leads to issues with intimacy and faking a happy smile for false senses of security. Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!

Welcome to the first episode of "et cetera...", a podcast by yours truly, E. In the inaugural episode of my podcast, I want to open the conversation with the search to "find ourselves" or establish a set identity and how that can lead to incredible life experiences both hard and beautiful. Grab your coffee (or drink, never too early for one) and let's ponder on it for a little while... Don't forget to stay updated by following me on Instagram @etc_podcast and @bougeandrouge!