Podcasts about Music scene

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Best podcasts about Music scene

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Latest podcast episodes about Music scene

Gabba Gabba Huh?
Talks! Episode 70 - Luke Edwards Returns!

Gabba Gabba Huh?

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2023 60:56


New year, new format? Sort of! Gabba Gabba Huh? is back with a tighter, more focused episode for your listening pleasure! This doesn't mean that the longer, artist's journey, style episodes are done, but expect a good mix of the two as I intend to bring you more consistent content for your ears this year! This week, I once again visit with Luke Edwards at his home in Shelby, NC to catch up on what's been going on with his Motörhead tribute band, Killed By Death. We also talk about the recent show he played with his former Animal Bag bandmate, Otis Hughes, about his town's relationship (or lack of) with heavier music, and round it out by talking about how a couple of old timers like us just have an addiction for this stuff! Featuring the song Tom by Animal Baghttps://killedbydeath2.bandzoogle.com/homehttps://www.facebook.com/Killed-By-Death-Mot%C3%B6rhead-Tribute-102383878981786Visit Gabba Gabba Huh? Records & Vintage Goods! Located on the first floor of Eastridge Mall in Gastonia, NC, near Dillards!Visit Hobo Wolfman Records, located inside Junky Monkey 3041 Kerr Ave, Wilmington, NC!Support the show

Danny Clinkscale: Reasonably Irreverent
Arts and Lifestyle Wednesday Presented by Healing Frequency Massage-Danny and Tim's Music Scene January 18th

Danny Clinkscale: Reasonably Irreverent

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2023 33:58


The always enjoyable musical conversation looks at the impact of the late Jeff Beck, heading up a list of iconic performers revealed in documentaries, or hitting the road to conjure up memories. Madonna, Men at Work, Jeff Lynne, Everything But the Girl, Steve Earle, and others explored.

Bleav in Skateboarding with Jim Gray
Episode 058 TSM Skate Media Crew... Carl Carpentier, Marcelle Johnson, Tommie Zam

Bleav in Skateboarding with Jim Gray

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2023 92:29


Episode 058 TSM Skate Media Crew... Carl Carpentier, Marcelle Johnson, Tommie Zam The TSM boys have done True Skateboard Mag www.Truesk8boardmag.com for many years. They are also @tsm_media on insta as well. They've been doing a Podcast and Talk Shows based around the Skate and Music Scene for quite a while. I've sat in on their show before when they interview Ron Allen at Grinderz etc..... I like these guys and love their passion for skateboarding. Funny story is they told me that they wanted to do the show, and I assumed they wanted me to be on their show, so we set a date, and they came up to my office. I thought they were gonna start setting up their equipment and do a TSM Podcast/Show with me..., then they showed up and when I asked where they wanted to set up, they said we are here to be on your show.... It was a very classic moment and of course I was happy to do it that way. All the matters to me is enjoying conversations with people in the skate culture. I hope you enjoy our conversation and get a good laugh out of the confusion. We all sure did.

KEXP's Sound & Vision
Seattle's Music Scene, Past and Present

KEXP's Sound & Vision

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2023 18:32


Michael Stein and Rod Ronquillo, the original DJs of KEXP's northwest music show, Audioasis, share songs that were staples of Seattle's music scene when the show began 40 years ago. Then, Audioasis' current DJ, Eva Walker, shares songs that represent the scene today. In this episode, we also get a little history lesson in Seattle's early jazz and funk scenes and beyond. Artists discussed:  The Heats  The Dynette Set   Pudz  Visible Targets  Chong the Nomad  Jango  Screen Frogs   Support the show: https://www.kexp.org/sound/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Keep It Real D.M.V.
Young Thug Trial and YSL Member Pleas / DMV Music Scene Getting Dangerous

Keep It Real D.M.V.

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2023 16:17


We are back with another episode this year and we're dive into the young thug trial and the pleas taken by gunna and other YSL members. We also discuss how dangerous the music scene in the dmv is and in the music scene in general plus more. Tune in now to see what's real. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

The Musician's Venture
Stas Venglevski: From Russian Education to Navigating the Milwaukee Music Scene

The Musician's Venture

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 5, 2023 53:44


On this episode, Allison Emm talks with internationally renowned accordionist and composer Stas Venglevski! Writing since he was 5 years old, Stas now holds a Masters of Music from the Russian Academy of Music in Moscow. Now Stas is taking gigs all over in Milwaukee and has immersed himself in the local scene.Find more info about Stas atwww.stasv.comCheck out more about TMV Podcast at www.themusiciansventure.com, @themusiciansventure on Facebook and Instagram, and @MusicianVenture on Twitter.

Danny Clinkscale: Reasonably Irreverent
Arts and Lifestyle Wednesday Presented by Healing Frequency Massage-Danny and Tim's Music Scene January 4th

Danny Clinkscale: Reasonably Irreverent

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2023 34:54


As eclectic and engaging as ever, the music commentary session has lists, arrivals, departures, documentaries and more of the plate featuring big stars, cult favorites, buried treasures and more in a very cool and eclectic conversation. Enjoy!

Fffffing 40s
78 - John William Wade & Frank DeVille

Fffffing 40s

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2022 44:08


Welcome to the final show of 2022 with the Fffffing 40s!This time we have two long time friends of the show and returning guests. First we catch up with John William Wade who we first met way back in episode 11.  John has had an eventful few years between his REMAX business, his entry into politics and his new venture the Calgary Investment Group.We then chat to Frank DeVille and learn about his new solo and group projects in LA. We also include a full listen to his new song, a cover of the Gap Band's Early in the Morning. Frank is currently working with a new band and getting things going in our post-covid world. John William Wade: twitter - facebook - websiteFrank Deville: facebook - Family of Funk Follow us on Facebook! Sponsored by:Claudia SantiagoJohn William Wade & AssociatesTracksVRComedy Tuesday NightBucket Brigade Recording StudioDLC Entertainment ServicesSoulmate Shoes Inc

Rock N Roll Pantheon
Rock is Lit: Sarah Priscus Talks Her Novel ‘Groupies' & Legendary Super Groupie Pamela Des Barres Talks the L.A. Music Scene in the ‘60s and ‘70s

Rock N Roll Pantheon

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 29, 2022 87:36


Hello, Lit Listeners. I hope you're all geared up to party with the bands in this episode's rock novel, because you've got a backstage pass and VIP access. Sarah Priscus is here to talk about her new novel, ‘Groupies', a story that shines a light on the grungy yet glittery world of 1970s Los Angeles rock 'n roll and the women—the groupies—who unapologetically love too much in a world that doesn't love them back.Later, who else is better qualified to give real-world context to this very topic than the fabulous Super Groupie, member of Frank Zappa's GTOs, and talented writer and podcaster, Pamela Des Barres? That's right, Miss Pamela herself joins me during the last segment of the show, so break out your groovy boas and hot pants and drop some far-out vinyl on the turn table. You're all with the band tonight. EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:Sarah and I talk aboutWhat she and Suzi Quatro have in commonSarah's experience writing and publishing her debut novelOverview of plot and characters of ‘Groupies'The setting of ‘Groupies': Los Angeles in the late 1970sThe early seasons of SNL as part of Sarah's research into the era/other research Sarah did for the novel, including watching ‘Almost Famous' againSarah's long love affair with Pamela Des Barres' seminal memoir ‘I'm With the Band'Led Zeppelin references in the novel and our shared love of the bandGroupie definitions and rules, as presented in the novel ‘Groupies'Feminism and groupie culture in the 1970s/the Baby Groupie issueInstant gratification and the 1970s and Polaroid cameras, which the character Faun usesPamela and I talk aboutHow and when she first got into the L.A. music sceneWho christened each of the GTOs “Miss”The kazillion rock icons she's known, including Frank Zappa, The Byrds, Gram Parsons, Led Zeppelin, The Stones, Love, Three Dog Night, Gene Simmons, Keith Moon The GTOs' album ‘Permanent Damage', which Frank Zappa producedThe L.A. scene in the ‘60s and ‘70sBaby Groupies of the 1970sThe first time Pamela heard the word “groupie” and her definition of the word‘I'm With the Band' and some of the ridiculous comments people—especially early interviewers—have made Pamela's ex-husband Michael Des Barres' thoughts on ‘I'm With the Band'How Gram Parsons turned her onto Country music MUSIC IN THE EPISODE IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE:1970's Retro Background Music (Royalty Free)“Our Last Summer” by ABBA“Mrs. Robinson” by Simon & Garfunkel“It's Only Rock ‘N' Roll” by The Rolling StonesClip of early SNL opening“Life in the Fast Lane” by The Eagles“Whole Lotta Love” by Led Zeppelin“I Am Woman” by Helen Reddy“We Shall Go Forth” by Margie Adam“Hey Ya!” by OutKast“Famous Groupies” by Paul McCartney“I'm In Love With The Ooo-Ooo Man” by The GTOs“Shock Treatment” by The GTOs, featuring Jeff Beck and Rod Stewart“Sixteen and Savaged” by Silverhead“Christine's Tune” by The Flying Burrito Brothers“Mystery Roach” by Frank Zappa and The Mothers LINKS: Sarah Priscus's website: https://sarahpriscus.com/Sarah on Twitter, @sarahpriscusSarah on Instagram, @sarah.priscus Pamela Des Barres' website: https://www.pameladesbarresofficial.com/Pamela on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, @PamelaDesBarres Christy Alexander Hallberg's website: https://www.christyalexanderhallberg.com/Christy Alexander Hallberg on Twitter, @ChristyHallbergChristy Alexander Hallberg on Instagram, @christyhallbergChristy Alexander Hallberg's YouTube channel, https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfSnRmlL5moSQYi6EjSvqag

Morning Shift Podcast
Reset Music Fave: Folk Artist Jess Shoman Of Tenci Discusses Her Roots In Chicago's DIY Music Scene

Morning Shift Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 27, 2022 17:38


We're revisiting our conversation with Jess Shoman, frontwoman of the band Tenci. She joined Reset to discuss her music, recent tour and Chicago's DIY music scene. For more Reset interviews, subscribe to this podcast. And please give us a rating, it helps other listeners find us

Danny Clinkscale: Reasonably Irreverent
Arts and Lifestyle Wednesday Presented by Healing frequency Massage-Danny and Tim's Music Scene December 21st

Danny Clinkscale: Reasonably Irreverent

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2022 34:00


Ultra-eclectic edition covers concerts ahead, documentaries, milestones, untimely losses, and many other stories featuring Taylor Swift, the late Terry Hall of The Specials, A and M records, 1979, house music, The Judds, and numerous others.

Central Texas Living with Ann Harder
Local Live Music Scene with Dave Innis (Restless Heart) and Jacob Green (Keep Waco Loud) from Stay Classy

Central Texas Living with Ann Harder

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2022 44:05


Ann talks to Dave Innis (Restless Heart) and Jacob Green (Keep Waco Loud) from Stay Classy about their collaboration and the music scene in Waco. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Daily Sun-Up
Music reporter G. Brown on Colorado's holiday music scene; Prohibition in Colorado

The Daily Sun-Up

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2022 21:30


Today - our monthly deep dive into Colorado's rich musical tradition with Sun writer Kevin Simpson and longtime music reporter G. Brown, whose Colorado Music Experience website maintains a comprehensive collection of information, videos and recordings of live Colorado shows spanning decades.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Cincinnati Edition
Katie Laur chronicles the Cincinnati music scene in 'Red Dirt Girl'

Cincinnati Edition

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2022 48:25


In her new book, Laur remembers her days on tour and the many musicians she's befriended along the way.

Cincinnati Edition
Katie Laur chronicles the Cincinnati music scene in 'Red Dirt Girl'

Cincinnati Edition

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2022 48:25


In her new book, Laur remembers her days on tour and the many musicians she's befriended along the way.

New Jersey Is The World
The New Jersey Music Scene

New Jersey Is The World

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 12, 2022 62:50


This week, Alt Press put out a pretty great article tracing the history and impact of New Brunswick's basement music scene. We figured this was a perfect opportunity to pull our episode on the NJ music scene out from behind the Patreon paywall where it's lived for over a year. If you're not a Patron, enjoy for the very first time this look into Jersey's legendary music scene, featuring quotes from members of The Front Bottoms, Night Birds, Screaming Females, Worriers, Don Giovanni Records, Long Neck, GDP, and Mikey Erg, as well as reminiscences about times spent at legendary shows and venues all over this state. (And for anyone who does remember this from the Patreon way back when, THANK YOU for supporting us so much and we can not express our appreciation for you enough!) Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

561 Music
Episode 83: Long Live the Scene

561 Music

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2022 131:08


This week Ricky Bolufe stopped by the studio for his new project Long Live the Scene and so much more. Long Live the Scene is essentially a grassroots effort to bolster local musicians by giving them a website platform to blog on as well as putting out compilation albums from live shows. Long Live the Scene can be found at the following links: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/longlivethescenefl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/longlivethescenefl Website: http://www.longlivethescene.com Enjoy the compilation albums on Spotify, or you can find them on the new 561 Music Playlist we created of various local artists that we will be continually updating. Long Live the Scene on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6CM0pS399WTkDZhpoLxqee?si=LZqe3dg7QoKDHrqcCrM-2g 561 Music Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y2i0AgJTGRMtxMADgZ7AZ?si=Zp77sqBTuewWTDouxH2g 561 Music Links: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/561musicpodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/561musicpodcast Twitter: https://twitter.com/561musicpodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/561musicpodcast A huge thank you to our sponsors this week. HANDLEBARS BAR AND GRILL Handlebars is a little biker bar in Tequesta FL with a lot of history. Famous with bikers around the world in its previous incarnation as Judy's, the new owners have kept the feel and vibe of the place while upgrading the quality of the food and drink. From its bike nights that fall every 2nd Thursday of the month to its daily great food and drink and cool atmosphere, Handlebars is a destination bar for anyone who owns a bike, and even if you don't ride you are welcome to come and soak in the vibe with an ice-cold beer. Go online and check the place out at www.handlebars-bar-and-grill.com or find us on Facebook to keep up with events and find out about bookings and menu items. OASIS ROOT COFFEE AND KAVA LOUNGE Oasis Root Coffee and Kava Lounge in Jupiter is a fun, relaxing place to come by drink kava, java, or tea, and hang out… South Pacific Style! Open daily from 8am-1am. Located at 185 E. Indiantown Rd., Suite 111, Jupiter, FL 33477. LIVE MUSIC COMMUNITY Thank you to Justin and Live Music Community for all they do to make our podcasts as professional as possible. If you are looking to do a podcast, record an album, do a live stream, or anything of that type, Live Music Community is the place to go. LMC is also a music school that takes it up a notch by not only teaching the foundations of music theory and songs on instruments and vocals but also teaches the students the full band experience. They team your child up with like-minded individuals who then go on to play shows, do live streams, and learn the dos and don'ts of being in a successful working band. You can find them online at https://www.livemusiccommunity.com and on Facebook and Instagram @LMCFlorida 561 Music Podcast was recorded by our producer Justin Hucker at Live Music Community, which offers podcasting, video production, live stream, music lessons, recording and so much more. Check them out and take a virtual studio tour here: https://www.livemusiccommunity.com Special Guest: Ricky Bobby.

The Musician's Venture
Kal Schimmers: On Songwriting, Reaching Music Milestones, and the Appleton Music Scene

The Musician's Venture

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2022 52:08


On this episode, Nick O'Brien talks with full time musician, singer-songwriter Kal Schimmers! Kal grew up watching his family around him playing music, and soon began pursuing music form an early age. Growing up in Appleton, Kal was influenced by all the wonderful music venues and events that the city has to offer.Find more info about Kal at:https://linktr.ee/KalSchimmersCheck out more about TMV Podcast at www.themusiciansventure.com, @themusiciansventure on Facebook and Instagram, and @MusicianVenture on Twitter.

19 Nocturne Boulevard
The Gift of the Zombi by Julie Hoverson (with a wink and a nod to O. Henry) 19 Nocturne Boulevard's Reissue of the Week

19 Nocturne Boulevard

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2022 35:04


Ben and Mia, young zombies in love, search for the perfect xmas present in a world of the walking dead.    Cast List Mia - Brenda Dau Ben - Derek M. Koch                 of Mail Order Zombie Geek - Glen Hallstrom Tick - Frankenvox Chuck - Bob Noble Andy - Reynaud LeBoeuf Doris - Julie Hoverson Sheri - Crystal Thomson Ted - J. Spyder Isaacson Voicebox - Beverly Poole Fred & Bob - Big Anklevich           & Rish Outfield           of Dunesteef Audio Magazine Ben's Double - Danar Hoverson Mia's Double - Julie Hoverson Other zombies:  Al Aseoche, Jacquie Duckworth, Reynaud LeBoeuf, Jack Hosley, Sidney Williams, Glen Hallstrom, Bob Noble, Brian Weingartner, Ferguson and family, Robyn Keyes, Kim Poole, Michael Hudson. Music by Jason Shaw (Audionautix.com) Show theme:  Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson Cover Design:  Brett Coulstock "What kind of a place is it? Why it's an apartment on the wrong side of town, can't you tell?" ******************************************************************************************** GIFT OF THE ZOMBI   Cast: [Opening credits - Olivia] Mia, zombie (20s) dating Ben Ben, zombie (20s) dating Mia Ted, zombie (30s), Mia's horny neighbor Andy, henpecked zombie (40s) Doris, Andy's wife (40s) Geek, a broker (30s) Sheri, a lovelorn friend (20s) Tick, an unscrupulous intact (human, 30s) Fred, a zombie (any) Bob, another zombie (any) Chuck, overseer zombie (any) Voicebox - mechanical translator   ALL ZOMBIES (unless noted as exceptions, below) have dual vocal tracks - the "zombie-voice" track, which is unintelligible, but vaguely mirrors the normal voice and events, and the "mind voice" (sounds like a voiceover), which is how they sound to each other.  /n = normal"mind voice" /z = "zombie voice" There are places where we only hear the zoombie voice.   Exceptions:  DORIS has no "mind voice", just incoherent shrieks GEEK only has a zombie voice, but he is clearly understandable, if still zombie-like TICK is human, and has no zombie-voice.   NOTE:  The zombie apocalypse has come and been dealt with more or less.  Zombies might still attack humans, if they see them, but humans tend to live in the walled cities and have become somewhat mythological to the zombies outside.  Zombies still are self-aware, but they think and speak so very slowly that they are difficult for humans to understand.  Conversely, to a zombie, humans seem to speak incredibly fast - almost incomprehensibly so.  That's why humans developed the voicebox to take what they say and slow it down enough for a zombie to understand. OLIVIA      Did you have any trouble finding it?  What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's a crumbling apartment building, can't you tell?  MUSIC SCENE 1.     MIA'S APARTMENT SOUND      WIND-UP ALARM GOES OFF SOUND     FLIES IN THE B/G THROUGHOUT MIA/Z     [distant moan of awakening, which continues, sporadically,  punctuating the narrative] MIA/n     I hate Mondays.  SOUND     ALARM SLAPPED OFF TABLE, STOPS RINGING SOUND     STUMBLING FOOTSTEPS MUSIC     VAGUE WARPED CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYS SOMEWHERE MIA/n     It doesn't help that it's two days til Christmas and I haven't got Ben his present. MIA/z     [roar of anger] SOUND      SOMETHING CRASHES TO FLOOR, GLASS BREAKS. MIA/N     The holidays just bring out the worst in me. SOUND     DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE MIA/N     [sigh] Checking my stitches in the mirror - nice to see nothing weird happened in the night.  I love the hot pink against my pale skin.  [beat] I know I'm swimming against the tide, but I still like to look nice, even when no one else gives a hang.  They're welcome to run around unwashed, in raggedy-ass clothes, just leaves more Prada for me. SOUND     SPRAY CAN PSSHT, FLIES STOP, TINY DROPPING NOISES MIA/n     A little spray - no water, that's just asking for mold - and I'm ready to face the day. SOUND     [under the next] SHAMBLING FOOTSTEPS OUT OF BATHROOM AGAIN, STRUGGLES FEET INTO SHOES, NOW SHAMBLING FEET ARE IN HEELS.  MIA/n     Ben's gift is the big problem.  I know what I want to get him, but it won't come cheap.  There just aren't that many floating around out there. MUSIC       SCENE 2.     OUTSIDE SOUND     NO TRAFFIC. JUST BIRDS, SHAMBLING FOOTSTEPS, OR OCCASIONAL BREAKING THINGS. SOUND     STRUGGLE WITH OBJECTS, THINGS FALL AWAY BEN/z     [moans, fighting his way to his feet] BEN/n     [hungover sounding] Wow, what did I do last night?  BEN/z     [shake head noise] BEN/n     Oh, crap - Mia'll be expecting me-- SOUND     SHAMBLING FEET SPEED UP BEN/n     For all her persnickityness, Mia is totally the greatest babe around, and I am sooo lucky that I'm the one she's into.  I figured for the longest time that she was just slumming with a grot like me - right up until we really did it.  Went whole hog and did the handfast.  It's like always having a piece of her with me.  [note:  in this case, the handfast was actually trading hands.  zombies can buy and sell body parts and trade them with one another] ANDY/z     [morning] BEN/z     [yo!  How's it going?] ANDY/z     [falling moan, ending in a squeal] BEN/n     Don't I know it!  Man, if ever a guy was whipped, Andy is the poster boy.  He's gonna catch hell for not getting home to Doris last night.  Almost tempting to stay and see the fray, but meeting Mia is the only thing on my maggoty little mind right now. MUSIC   SCENE 3.     MIA'S STAIRCASE SOUND     BODY FALLS DOWN STAIRS, FOLLOWED BY THE CLATTER OF A SHOE. MIA/z     [distraught moan] MIA/n     Darn stair carpet.  Darn heels.  SOUND     FEELING AROUND FOR THE SHOE AND PUTTING IT BACK ON MIA/n     Alas, vanity doesn't come cheap.  Ben loves my little foibles.  He understands why it matters so much to me, to be beautiful for him.  Looking back at my pink stitches, almost tripping as I crane my neck to see, I wonder whether he will like them as much as I do. SOUND     SHAMBLING FEET IN HEELS AGAIN, ANOTHER SET OF FEET COMES ON TED/z     [moan approaches, vaguely suggestive] MIA/z     [dismissive moan] MIA/n     Not today, Ted.  I don't have time for any of your nonsense. TED/z     [moan ending in a squeak/question] MIA/n     I'm with Ben, Ted.  You know that.  I'm not giving up what I have with him.  He has my hand, and my promise.  He even has my heart ... just in the old-fashioned way. TED/z     [mournful and pissed moan] MIA/n     Yeah, yeah, yeah - if you were the last one on earth, maybe. MIA/z     [roar/moan as she brushes him aside] SOUND     STUMBLING FEET QUICKLY TO DOOR, SLAMS OPEN, TUMBLES THROUGH MIA/z     [roar of triumph] MIA/N     First time!! [made it on the first try!]  This is gonna be a great day! MUSIC   SCENE 4.     OUTSIDE, NEAR BEN ANDY/z     [cursing groan] ANDY/n     Come on, Ben.  Doris likes you!  If I say you needed my help, she'll buy it! BEN/z     [dismissive groan] SOUND     SHAMBLING FEET MOVING AWAY, STUMBLING AFTER ANDY/z     [dude] ANDY/N     Dude!  Come on-- DORIS/z     [distant strident squeal] ANDY/n     Oh, crap! SOUND     SOMETHING WET SPLATS ON PAVEMENT, THEN DISTANT FEET APPROACHING ANDY/z     [strange gurgling warble] ANDY/n     [sigh] I lose more tongues that way. DORIS/z     [strident squeal, closer] MUSIC   SCENE 5.     OUTSIDE NEAR MIA'S BUILDING SOUND     HIGH HEEL SHAMBLE MIA/z     [low moan] GEEK/z     [he speaks clear enough to understand, but still zombie-like] [hey, fingers!] MIA/z     [quizzical] MIA/n     Yeah, what's it to you? GEEK/z     [you got any to spare?] MIA/n     No!  I like mine right where they are. GEEK/z     [get you a good price.  Fingers are always top value.] MIA/z     [sharp moan of anger] MIA/n     Look - these five are my boyfriend's, and this one says-- MIA/z     [fuck you] GEEK/z     [you'll be back [louder] they always come back!!] MIA/n     Damn parts brokers - [jealous] always have the best tongues. MUSIC   SCENE 6.     OUTSIDE, ELSEWHERE [note:  throughout the rest of the show, unless otherwise noted, appropriate zombie noises play under] MIA     [calling]  Hey babycakes! BEN     [off]  Yo sweet thang! SOUND     PLODDING FOOTSTEPS COME TOGETHER MIA     Mm.  Missed you! BEN     Double that. SOUND     DISGUSTING SLOPPY LICKY KISSY NOISES MIA     [mild slurp, then hot]  You are such a good kisser.  BEN     Don't know how I'd get up each day without you to look forward to. MIA     [giggles]  BEN     Let's walk.  Want to show you something. MIA     Oh?  Well, I've got a little time before hitting the old treadmill. BEN     You know I'd support you if I could-- MIA     I like looking after my own needs.  [flirting] Leaves you to look after my wants. BEN     Ooh! MUSIC   SCENE 7.     OUTSIDE, NEAR STORE SOUND     PLODDING FEET MIA     I should have worn more convenient shoes. BEN     Sorry!  Almost there. MIA     What is...it...?  [awe]  Oh! BEN     I thought you might say that.  Just saw them.  Of course, they're not cheap. MIA     [drooling -- zombie noises under get really slobbery] Patent leather, thigh high - oh, I'd never have to take them off! BEN     The heels aren't too high, are they? MIA     [sigh of ecstasy]  I love stacks... MUSIC   SCENE 8.     OUTSIDE, Later BEN     [bummed] I was right, she loved the boots. ANDY     And how much did you say they were? BEN     More than I've had in living memory. ANDY     At any one time? BEN     EVER.  ANDY     Woah.  Well, suppose you can hit the mills like the rest of us schmoes - if you're truly that desperate. BEN     [scoff noise]  The mills?  It'd take me ten years - and they'd probably sell by then. ANDY     What, then?  Go out snatching?  That's pretty much your only other option. BEN     [sighs]  I thought I might ask around, see what I could borrow-- ANDY     Woah, there!  You know Doris holds the purse strings! BEN     If I was going to snatch anyone, I'd snatch her - she's got enough body for three. ANDY     [musing] You know...  That's not a bad idea. BEN     [disturbed] Serious? ANDY     Nah.  I'd fall apart without her keeping me moving.  I guess that's love. BEN     [agreeing hmph] MUSIC   SCENE 9.     TREADMILLS SOUND     HEAVY WHIRRING NOISE UNDER.  DISTANT NORMAL STREET SOUNDS MIA     Hey! OTHER ZOMBIES     [Morning!] [nice to see you!] [Mia!  Looking good!] SOUND     MANY PLODDING FEET MIA     Hey Chuck!  Got a space? CHUCK     For you?  Always, babe.  Wanna lose the heels first? MIA     Brought my work shoes.  Just need a moment at the bench. CHUCK     I'd offer to help, but...[chuckles]  Thank god for velcro, eh? MIA     Hah!  I have all my fingers. CHUCK     [chuckles] Coulda fooled me - [teasing] That looks like your fellow's hand...? MIA     [chuckles]  Jealous? MUSIC   SCENE 10.     OUTSIDE, ELSEWHERE [note - Ben has zombie noises under, geek does not - he always sounds like a zombie trying to talk] GEEK     [Psst.] BEN     What? GEEK     [heard you were having some money troubles.] BEN     What's it to you? GEEK     [I might be able to help you with that.] BEN     I don't think so.  I don't have anything I feel like selling. GEEK     [You got some extra fingers.  An entire hand that looks... spare] BEN     No way. Man!  That's - that's Mia's hand!  I should smack you with it just for suggesting that! GEEK     [Hey!  I don't want no trouble!  I'm just a businessman!] BEN     [spits out the word] Businessman.  You're a parts broker.  GEEK     [Yeah, and we both know you come to me when you need something, then you spit on me when I try to help you out.] SOUND     SHUFFLING FEET START TO LEAVE BEN     Wait. GEEK     [what?] BEN     What - what's in high demand? GEEK     [What?] BEN     I mean, if I was... going to sell something ...just if... what would you be [reluctant, forcing the words out] paying the best prices for? GEEK     [[chuckles] See?  When you need me--] BEN     Cut the crap and tell me. GEEK     [Appendages are always good.  Fingers, noses, ears.  And soft parts, like tongues and, uh.... [suggestive] you know.]  BEN     [gulp] GEEK     [Toes not so much - most just get by without - unless you have a complete foot somewhere - those are collectible, but only in pristine condition.  Eyes are pretty good, and you hardly need two.]  BEN     What about parts that - aren't mine? GEEK     [Stolen parts?  What makes you think I trade dirty?] BEN     Your type always does. GEEK     [[pissed again] My type?  My type?  I think you just talked yourself out of a good deal, pal.] BEN     Shit, I-- GEEK     [incoherent roar, as he leaves] MUSIC   SCENE 11.     TREADMILL AMB - underlying zombies moans, many many plodding feet MIA     [no specific moaning for this speech] Being on the treadmill gives you plenty of time to think.  You stare at the back of the guy in front of you and wonder what's going through his head.  Ben doesn't like the nine to five, but I figure - heck, you gotta do something, and if you feel the urge to walk, might as well get paid for it, right? SOUND     SOMEONE CLIMBS ON THE TREADMILL [vocals have zombie noises under again] TED     Hey Mia! MIA     [sigh] Hi Ted. TED     Funny running into you here.  Shove over? MIA     Right.  Like I don't do this every day.  No room. SHERI     Hey Mia! [warm] Hey Ted. TED     [dismissive] Sheri. [wheedling] Come on, Mia, squeeze in a little.  There's space next to you if you make room. MIA     Sorry, Ted [she's not].  Been saving that for... Sheri. SHERI     Huh? TED     Sheri won't mind - will you? SHERI     I - I guess not... MIA     Oh, no Ted.  We have girl talking to do.  Bye-bye.  Hop up Sheri. TED     Fine.  See you at end of shift? MIA     [muttered] Not if I see you first.  SOUND     TED FLOPS OFF MIA     [up]  I don't know what you see in him, Sher. SHERI     Neither do I.  Pheromones I guess. MIA     Well, he does smell. SHERI     [on an ecstatic sigh] Yes. MIA     [ugh]  Hey, Sher, I gotta problem. SHERI     Oh?  [horrified] You didn't... break up with Ben? MIA     No!  Why would you say that? SHERI     Nothing. MIA     Did you hear something, or are you just worried that Ted might somehow luck out and catch me on the rebound? SHERI     Um.  The second one. MIA     Kinda thought so.  O-K, passing over your insecurity, can we discuss my problem? SHERI     [relieved] Sure! MIA     I found the perfect present for Ben, and I don't know how I'm gonna afford it.  SHERI     You mean...um...what you said he's missing? MIA     Yeah.  All his fleshy parts haven't lasted so well - I keep telling him that sleeping rough isn't good for him, but he hates being cooped up.  Says being nibbled on by rats is preferable to a cage. SHERI     You live in a cage? MIA     He means an apartment.  SHERI     Oh.  Well, I'm sure he looks fine without one.  You see plenty of missing ones out there every day. [NOTE:  they're discussing noses, but it makes it sound like something more suggestive] MIA     I know, but he would - well, from things he's said, he would actually LIKE one.  Make him feel like a new man.  I thought I might get him one of those artificial ones - you know, cast in plastic?  In a skin tone, though - not one of those weird colored ones. SHERI     They're all the rage with the trendoids these days, the neon ones.  I guess they figure if it's gonna look fakey, might as well make a statement.  And some of them get freakishly big. MIA     Well, I found a place to get something real high quality.  Won't look fake at all.  They'll even tint it to match his skin.  And it won't rot or fall off.  Guaranteed to last.  Not even a nibble. SHERI     It won't make him smell any better. MIA     No, but I get the feeling he would be more secure in our relationship if he - well - if he fit more the image he thinks I'd go for. SHERI     Someone with all their parts? MIA     Oh, heck.  I'd love Ben with or without any number of parts, but he seems to think I'd like him better if he actually had a nose. SHERI     [hmm]  I could maybe loan you a little-- MIA     No, this guy charges a bunch.  I'm actually tempted to sell a part or two - something I don't use, or not so much, you know? SHERI     Don't go there.  Starts out simple, a finger here, an ear there, and then - voila!  You end up checking people in at work like "Chuck, the torso" - stuck in admin cuz you got no limbs left.  Or worse - that guy who talks out his neck since he woke up one morning and his head was gone. MIA     [sigh] You're probably right.  MUSIC   SCENE 12.     OUTSIDE, ELSEWHERE AMB     SLIGHT ECHO - AND A DRIP SOMEWHERE SOUND     FLOPPY STEPS IN WATER [note     Tick speaks slowly and has no zombie echo, Ben sounds completely zombie - no voice over - for this scene TICK     You looking for me? BEN     [gasp] [what?] SOUND     STUMBLE FLOPPY STEPS IN WATER TICK     Don't bother - just stand still. BEN     [you're a - an intact?] TICK     And you're a dead lump of shit, but maybe we can help each other. BEN     [moan of acceptance] TICK     Good.  Now stay quiet while I tell you what we're doing here. BEN     [slurpy gasp] TICK     That's disgusting.  But I need a heap like you to front for me.  I have some... parts... to be disposed of, but I can't just wander into maggotville myself.  BEN     [Why me?] TICK     My source says you're tough and desperate.  And stupid. BEN     [stifled annoyed noise] TICK     So maybe he's wrong.  BEN     [I am desperate] TICK     [snort]  Fine.  Here's the deal - I don't give a flying fluck about your crappy corpse cash.  On the other hand, I like having folks - dead or alive - who owe me. BEN     [What you need from me?] TICK     I'll tell you when it comes up.  Right now, I just need this bag of ... parts to vanish.  BEN     [It's illegal.] TICK     [cajoling] They're nice and fresh.  [impatient] Fine.  Clock is ticking.  Tick tock.  Tick tock.  You even remember what "time" is, maggot? BEN     [It's almost Christmas.  [beat] I'll do it.] MUSIC   SCENE 13.     TREADMILL SOUND     TREADMILL, FEET PLODDING SHERI     You ever wonder what they do over there? MIA     [lost in a daze] Hmm?  Over the wall? SHERI      Yeah.  The [awed whisper] In-tacts? MIA     Don't know.  Don't care.  Except for when they come over here and drag off my friends, I say leave them alone.  SHERI     But you do believe in them, don't you? MIA     Believe in them?  What's to believe - we see them marching on the wall, and they're the ones who shell out for us to walk on this damn treadmill day and night.  They're as real as ... as... shoes.  SHERI     Some say we all came from in-tacts, way back when. MIA     [lightly sarcastic] Yes, and a wasp nest in your head is a sign of good luck and not just poor hygiene.  I swear Sheri, you'll believe anything. SHERI     You believe they carry people off, though? MIA     Well, yeah - we've all seen that.  They appear from nowhere, in those dark helmets and suits, and by the time you catch your breath, someone's vanished. SHERI     [awed] I saw one once. MIA     A kidnapping? SHERI     An in-tact. MIA     [half-teasing, half worried] You know, they say if you mentioned them three times, they'll appear out of thin air. SHERI     [agreeing, distant] They are really fast. MIA     [exasperated] Sheri!  Don't-- SHERI     I did, though!  I really saw one.  Not just in a suit and helmet like they usually are, but one right... up... close. MIA     [sighs, feels her pain]  Tell me about it? SHERI     It was a guy, I think, and the funny part is he looked so much like a regular person.  Just that he was so fast and he was - well - he had everything.  His skin was perfect, no holes or anything, and it was this warm rosy color.  I... yearned to touch him, but when I reached out, he turned and ran away.  MIA     [uncertain] That...must have been ....weird. SHERI     [almost teary] It was like I saw an angel, and it saw something horrible in me. MIA     Oh, Sheri-- SHERI     Maybe that's why Ted won't love me?  Because I'm horrible inside? MIA     Aw, Sheri.  [reassuring] We're all horrible inside.  And if anyone's seen an angel here and not realized it, Ted's the one.  He sees you every day and misses out every time he turns his back. SHERI     [sniff sniff] MUSIC   SCENE 14.     OUTSIDE, ELSEWHERE SOUND     BAG PASSED WITH A SQUISH GEEK     [you sure you don't want any of them?] BEN     [upset] I... don't need any girl parts, thanks. GEEK     [Squeamish?  All you had to do was lug a bunch of fresh merchandise here to my humble workshop.] BEN     I've never.... felt... they were so [disgusted] warm. GEEK     [Fresher just means it'll last longer.  Nothing more.  You want your pay or not?] BEN     [down] Yeah. MUSIC   SCENE 15.     TREADMILL SHERI     --you know that guy Sam I was dating? MIA     [worn down] Yeah? SHERI     And how he was always mouthing off about-- SOUND     WHISTLE, END OF SHIFT MIA     [heartfelt] Oh yesss!  What a relief! SHERI     [not getting it] Yeah!  Let's go somewhere - I was in the middle of telling you about Sam. MIA     [almost panicky] Nah, save it for next time - I have to meet up with Ben. SHERI     It's so great to have someone to talk to while we walk - Tomorrow, same time? MIA     [transparently lying] Sure!  Oh, no - wait - I promised I would do this thing with Ben tomorrow. SHERI     What thing? MIA     [panicky, trying to cover] You mean I didn't mention the thing? I--uh-- SOUND     DISTANT ZOMBIE NOISES AND SCREAMS SHERI     What the--? MIA     Come on! SOUND     SLOW PLODDING.  LARGE GROUP OF ZOMBIES GATHERING MUSIC   SCENE 16.     OUTSIDE, ELSEWHERE SOUND      SLOW PLODDING, ONE SET OF FEET ANDY     [distant] Ben!  Ben! BEN     [sigh] SOUND     PLODDING STOPS BEN     Yeah? SOUND     ANDY'S FEET APPROACH ANDY     [panicky] Ben, man, am I glad to see you - it's Doris!  Jeez, she slipped and I think something's broken! BEN     [muttered] Lucky you. [up] What do you mean? ANDY     Her leg - it snapped and now she can't get up!  What am I gonna do, Ben? BEN     Andy, Doris is such a-- ANDY     I know I know.  She gives me hell and treats me like a dog, but what can I do, Ben, I love her!  You gotta help me.  I'll do anything! BEN     Let me take a look. MUSIC   SCENE 17.     ALTERCATION SOUND     LOTS OF SHAMBLING FEET, MOANS MIA     What happened? SHERI     Where's everyone going? FRED     It's one of the overseers! MIA     An in-tact?  What happened? BOB     I seen the whole thing!  He fell off the wall and someone made a grab fer him! SHERI     Oh no! FRED     Oh, yeah!  He's somewhere in the middle of the dogpile there. MIA     Isn't anyone helping? BOB     What are you, some kind of pervert?  This is an [spits out the word] In-tact.  [excited] They're tearing him apart! MIA     We should get out of here! SHERI     B-but - They're gonna kill him! MIA     [sad] I know, and there's nothing we can do about it.  And we want to be out of here before they bring out the big guns. SOUND     DRAGGING, SHUFFLING AWAY FROM THE FRACAS SHERI     But what if he's that same one I saw before? MIA     By now - you probably wouldn't know him.  MUSIC   SCENE 18.     ANDY'S PLACE DORIS     [squeals piteously] BEN     Yep, that's a bad one.  Twisted all up like this. ANDY     Can't we do anything? BEN     I'm no reconstructor.  Maybe some duct tape and a stick? DORIS      [Squeals angrily] ANDY     He's just trying to help, honeybuunny. BEN     Yeah, chill honeybunny. DORIS     [squeals again, sort, sharp, warning.] ANDY     [quiet] You gotta help me, Ben - you're the only one I can turn to! BEN     Jeez Andy... [sigh]  You'll pay me back? ANDY     You know I'm good for it!  Soon as that leg's on, we'll both hit the treads every day til we cover it. BEN     [down] Sure.  I-- ANDY     Yes? BEN     [muttered] I didn't like the way it felt anyway.  [up] Here.  SOUND     PACKAGE CHANGES SLOPPY HANDS ANDY     What - is it? BEN     Enough to get her fixed up - you might go ahead and get her a new tongue while you're at it. ANDY     [very quiet] Oh.  No.  Let's not go completely overboard... MUSIC   SCENE 19.     OUTSIDE, LATER, TOGETHER SOUND     OUTSIDE. SHUFFLING FEET APPROACH MIA     There you are - I was beginning to worry. SOUND     BODY FALLS TO THE GROUND "ben relaxes" BEN     [oof, then] It's been a really... weird day. SOUND     BODY FALLS TO THE GROUND "mia relaxes" MIA     [oof, then agreeing] Tell me about it. BEN     [muttered] I would if I could. MIA     Hmm? BEN     Nah.  Doris broke her leg and Andy needed help with getting her fixed up. MIA     They better get her a good big leg.  She goes through so darn many. BEN     Really? It's happened before? MIA     Every couple of years.  I think the last time was before you showed up here. BEN     I am such a sucker. MIA     Whenever you start thinking like that, just look at Andy.  That'd make anyone feel superior. BEN     You always know just the right thing to say. MIA     Can't help it.  We're in tune.  BEN     Yeah, I guess we are.  About Christmas-- MIA     Don't worry - I love the boots! BEN     Oh, the boots... MIA     But only if you can afford them.  If you can't, I might be able to get them myself.  [sexy] You still get to enjoy them, though. BEN     [grim] I'll get them-- MIA     [sorry] I was just teasing. BEN     Don't worry.  [softening]  Like I said, it's been a really strange day. MUSIC   SCENE 20.     SEWER AGAIN TICK     [really fast] Yeah what? BEN     [slow gasp] TICK     [fast] crap. [deliberately going slower, down to normal speed]  What do you want? BEN     Geek said you have another job? TICK     Not so much a job as a favor. BEN     Need money. TICK     What happened to the packet I gave you before?  Never mind - don't want to know.  [speeding up a bit] Look.  I'm not some magic money tree. BEN     Oh. TICK     [slowing again]  See right now, you owe me a favor - but I can be gracious about it.  You give me what I need, and I will advance you what you need against the next job I give you.  Sound good? BEN     [carefully articulating] You pay now for next job if I do favor? TICK     There you go.  [quick] not so damn stupid after all. MUSIC   SCENE 21.     MIA'S APARTMENT SOUND     ALARM CLOCK SOUND      KNOCKED OFF TABLE MIA     [just like at beginning]  I hate Mondays. SOUND     DOORBELL RINGS MIA     Huh? MIA/Z     coming! SOUND     BAREFOOT SHUFFLE SOUND      DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN, QUICKLY AND REPEATEDLY MIA/Z     Hold your damn horses! SOUND      DOORKNOB FUMBLES, DOOR IS SLAMMED OPEN. SOUND     BODY FALLS MIA/Z     [annoyed] hey! SOUND     FEET MOVE QUICKLY INTO APARTMENT, SLAM DOOR MIA/Z     [scared] Who are you--? SOUND     SUPER-QUICK WHISPERED VOICES IN BACKGROUND VOICEBOX     [mechanical voice]  You were at the altercation near the wall yesterday. MIA/z     uhhh VOICEBOX     Yes or no.  We ask yes or no questions.  Answer yes or no. MIA/z     yesss. VOICEBOX     Did you take part-- MIA/z     NO! VOICEBOX     Did you see any of those who did? MIA/z     [uncertain] no. VOICEBOX     There was another female with you.  Did it see anything? MIA     Sheri? MIA/z     No. VOICEBOX     Please identify this female. MIA/z     No. VOICEBOX     That was not a question.  Identify the female that was with you. MIA     Yeah, right. MIA/z     [incoherent moan] VOICEBOX     Speak clearly. MIA/z     Naaame isss [incoherent moan] VOICEBOX     We are prepared to remove parts if you do not cooperate.  SOUND     STRUGGLE, KNIFE SNICKS OPEN MIA/z     ohh! MIA     No!  that's Ben's! [the hand they're threatening] VOICEBOX     Last chance.  The name. MIA/z     Naaame isss shhh-jerry  VOICEBOX     Jerry? MIA/z     [reluctantly agreeing] Uh-huh. VOICEBOX     Good.  [commanding, disgusted] Let it go. SOUND     BODY FLUNG TO FLOOR MIA/z     [moans unhappily] SOUND     FEET MARCH CRISPLY AWAY MUSIC   SCENE 22.     SEWER BEN     You want WHAT? TICK     Not like you'll miss it. BEN     I-I don't-- TICK     Hey, take it or leave it.  You owe me, but not like I'm gonna wrestle you down and steal it from you.  I got people - and your kind - who can do that for me. BEN     When you need? TICK     [irritated, speeding up] What do you mean when?  You think I don't mean now? [like the crack of doom, slowly and clearly] Now! BEN     Now... TICK     Tick-tock. BEN     [moans uncertainly, then glumly] yeah... MUSIC   SCENE 23.     OUTSIDE, ELSEWHERE MIA/z      [muffled whispered moans] MIA      Psst! SHERI     Mia?  What's with the getup? MIA      Get over here! SOUND     SHUFFLING SHERI/z     [whiny querulous moan] SHERI     What? MIA      Ok, no one can see us-- SHERI     You look like a clown. MIA      Shh!  Sheri, have any of the overseers [gulps] "talked" to you? SHERI     In-tacts?  No! MIA      They found me.  They'll find you.  They want to know who killed that - in-tact - yesterday in the riot. SHERI     Gary?  Why? MIA      No-no-no-no!  I don't WANT to know who did it!  They're asking, and they threatened to cut... off-- [sob] Th-they threatened me!  SHERI     [still not understanding it] Why? MIA      They want to get the one who did it, I suppose!  They'll come after you! SHERI     How will they know to come for me? MIA      [evasive] Well - how did - how did they know to come for me? SHERI     Oh! MIA      So now you're warned - stay away from the treadmill! SHERI     [annoyed moan] MIA     Well, I wanted to warn you.  SOUND     MIA STARTS TO WALK AWAY, STRANGELY LIMPING SHERI     What's wrong?  Mia?  You're limping. MIA     Nothing.  Figured if I can't make the treadmill for a while, I'd need something to live on. SOUND     STUMBLING FEET APPROACH SHERI and MIA     [gasping moans] FRED     [gasp]  Oh, hey!  Don't tell anyone I'm here. MIA      They found you too? FRED     I - I heard they're coming - how'd you know? SHERI     We saw it happen. FRED     Woah!  You better hide.  Least for a while.  They're taking folks again. MUSIC   SCENE 24.     MIA'S APARTMENT  BEN     Mia? SOUND     TAPPING ON DOOR, DOOR CREAKS OPEN BEN     [worried now]  Mia? TED     [off, questioning moan] BEN     You Ted? TED     yeah [affirmative moan, voice getting clearer] BEN     Where the hell's Mia? TED     She took some stuff and left.  What's it to you? SOUND     SHUFFLE TURN BEN     I'm Ben. TED     Ugh!  What the hell does she see in you? MUSIC   SCENE 25.     OUTSIDE, ELSEWHERE MIA     [off a bit]  Ben? BEN     [phantom of the opera cringing noise] What? MIA     Ben - I'm over here. BEN     Mia - don't look. MIA     [almost laughing] What? BEN     Please. MIA     All right.  I'll close my eyes. BEN     Thanks.  SOUND     SHUFFLING STEPS TO MIA BEN     Why are you hiding? MIA     I saw something - there are in-tacts maybe looking for me.  I don't know. BEN     They're just full of surprises, aren't they? MIA     Are they? SOUND     MOMENT OF JUST PLODDING ALONG TOGETHER BEN     Helluva way to spend the holidays. MIA     It is Christmas, isn't it?  [beat]  Can I look now? BEN     No!  [short barking laugh]  I - I know it's silly for me to be vain, but, uh - I lost something. MIA     I got you something! BEN     Don't turn around-- Ohhhh. [disappointed] MIA     [concerned] What happened? BEN     Some guy named Gary needed a new face.  MIA     [concerned for him] I hope you got something good for it. BEN     Actually I did.  Take off your shoes. MIA     [more panicked than should be] No! BEN     Don't worry - I'll carry them for you. MIA     No - I...  I kind of needed to make a trade too.  BEN     Your leg--? MIA     I guess feet with toes are sort of collectable. BEN     Oh.  I hope ... [chuckles]  I hope you got something good for it. MIA     [laughs a bit]  SOUND     STICKY SOUND AS SHE STROKES HIS RAW FLESH MIA     At least you kept your lips.  BEN     Are you kidding?  Had to keep those - they're my best feature. MIA     Well, here's a new one, but I don't know how it will go on - you might have to wait until you have a place to hang it again. SOUND     PACKAGE UNWRAPS, OPENS BEN     It's beautiful. MIA     It's latex.  It won't rot or get chewed on by rats.  I think I got the right color, but now - BEN     It's a fine nose. MIA     Not too big?  I mean, I never saw you with-- BEN     It's perfect. MIA     We should get going.  If they're still after me, we'll have to ... find some place else to-- BEN     Waitaminute.  Now you have to open yours. MIA     Oh, you--! SOUND     UNWRAPPING OF PAPER MIA     The patent leather! BEN     Yeah.  You know, maybe you could brace and stuff them-- MIA     It's just the one foot. BEN     Ok, stuff the one, and still walk on it. MIA     Not if we're going a long way - I don't want these puppies to get worn out on any stupid road trip.  [ecstatic intake of breath]  This is the best Christmas ever! BEN     You know?  I think you're right...  Here, take my hand. MIA     [teasing sweetly] That's my hand. BEN     Come on.  [grunt to help her up] MIA     Which way? [their voices, along with their moaning and plodding footsteps, begin to slowly fade out] BEN     A wise man once said "the sun never sets on those who ride into it".  [the quote is from the end of Shock Treatment] MIA     Which wise man was that? BEN     Um.... MIA     Are we talking like "three wise men" kind of wise man? BEN     Um - no.  I think it was... Richard O'Brien. MIA     Who? BEN     You know, the time warp guy. MIA     Oh, man - I haven't been to THAT movie in months. CLOSER  "The Gift of the Magi" is a famous story by O. Henry where a newlywed couple (around 1900) each sell something to buy the other a present - He sells his watch to get her a fancy hair comb and she sells her long hair to get him a new watch fob.  The entire story is inspired by this.    

Everything Saxophone Podcast
Matthew Alec Saxophone Podcast; Giving Back to the Music Scene in Cleveland – Ep. 153

Everything Saxophone Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2022 102:55


Matthew Alec is a jazz and popular music saxophonist, founder and Executive Producer at Cleveland Time Records, and bandleader for the high-energy jazz fusion group Matthew Alec and The Soul Electric. His debut album Cleveland Time featuring former Saturday Night Live Musical Director Tom “Bones” Malone was released in February of 2021. The album charted […] The post Matthew Alec Saxophone Podcast; Giving Back to the Music Scene in Cleveland – Ep. 153 appeared first on Everything Saxophone Podcast.

Danny Clinkscale: Reasonably Irreverent
Arts and Lifestyle Wednesday Presented by Healing Frequency Massage-Danny and Tim's Music Scene December 7th

Danny Clinkscale: Reasonably Irreverent

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 7, 2022 28:26


The always wonderful mixture of reviews, previews, tributes, and recommendations this time includes looks at The Eagles visit to Kansas City, the 2022 Rock Hall ceremony, the passing of Christine McVie, a Quincy Jones tribute, David Bromberg doc, and more. Enjoy!

Takin A Walk
One man's mission to celebrate the music scene of Greenwich Village

Takin A Walk

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2022 36:02


Richard Barone is the author of the terrific book "Music and Revolution-Greenwich Village in the 60's" and he joins Buzz Knight for this episode. Richard is a musician and professor and he is passionate about the village music scene. Show Notes here to learn more. One Man's Mission to Share his Love of the Greenwich Village Music Scene with Richard Barone When we think of the term “musical range,” I think you have to actually think of Greenwich village in the sense that in the 60s, the village was such a hotbed of styles and personalities. The village is accorded the backbone of singers, song writing, and folk singing, because of this incredible range of poets and a live feeling of what was going on. You still feel it today, but it is different from the 60s. So, it's rather fitting that our guest today, on taking a walk, is not a stranger to the musical range.   Richard Barone is an acclaimed recording artist, performer, producer, and author. Since pioneering the indie rock scene in Hoboken, NJ, as frontman of The Bongos and then helping to launch the chamber pop movement with his solo debut “cool blue halo,” Barone has produced countless studio recordings and worked with artists in every musical genre. Richard has spent decades navigating the musical neurons of the village with his great new book, Music and Revolution. This book is about Greenwich Village in the 60s. By the end, Richard will transport you in time. You will feel as if you are going through a meditation, you are part of. Get the experience of this amazing village with Richard Barone.   Tune in!   Key Highlights from the Episode [00:01] Meet Richard Barone from Greenwich Village [01:45] Richard's inspiration for authoring his book, Music+Revolution [03:21] Save the village movement [04:47] How a Sunday afternoon in a restaurant felt like in the 1960s at the village [06:43] Big poets at Greenwich Village in the 50s [11:00] A lunch Richard had with Barry Kornfeld [12:30] Several musical figures that you should know, as Barone mentions in his book [12:50] Richard Farina [19:51] Janis Ian [23:31] José Monserrate Feliciano [25:10] Fred Neil [28:09] Philip David Ochs [32:44] Comparing the music of the 1960s to that of 2020 [35:34] Ending the show and call to action Notable Quotes Compared to the 1960s, many songs do not address anything. Older songs were guided by a message or theme. Many people sing songs in 20222, but it does not bring togetherness of people to enjoy and feel it. In the 60s, concerts were packed with people of all races and ages. Get Richard's Book Music + Revolution: Greenwich Village in the 1960s: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B4FDSY5B/ Connect With Richard Barone Website: http://www.richardbarone.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/richardbarone/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/RichardBarone Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RichardBaroneOfficial Email: rbm@richardbarone.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/richardbarone                                    

The Power Chord Hour Podcast
Ep 127 - Chris Wrenn (Bridge Nine Records) - Power Chord Hour Podcast

The Power Chord Hour Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 5, 2022 53:56


This week I am joined by Bridge Nine Records owner and founder Chris Wrenn about the record label and the new Bridge Nine Record Store in Beverly, Massachusettes plus:- The 90's mail-order experience- If Chris ever saw vinyl having the huge resurgence it has- Music piracy in the early 00's- The one requirement of signing a band to Bridge Nine- Advice for up and coming record labels- Jumping into projects and not overthinking them- How the day to day or running Bridge Nine has changed over 25+ years &much more!Check out the Power Chord Hour radio show every Friday night at 8 to midnight est on 107.9 WRFA in Jamestown, NY. Stream the station online at wrfalp.com/streaming/ or listen on the WRFA app.Donate to help show costs -https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/pchanthonyhttps://cash.app/$anthmerchpowerchordhour@gmail.comInstagram - www.instagram.com/powerchordhourTwitter - www.twitter.com/powerchordhourFacebook - www.facebook.com/powerchordhourYoutube - www.youtube.com/channel/UC6jTfzjB3-mzmWM-51c8LggSpotify Episode Playlists - https://open.spotify.com/user/kzavhk5ghelpnthfby9o41gnr?si=4WvOdgAmSsKoswf_HTh_MgFollow Chris/Bridge Nine Recordshttp://www.bridge9.comhttp://instagram.com/bridgeninehttps://www.instagram.com/chrisb9https://twitter.com/Bridge9https://www.facebook.com/bridge9

The Conversation Podcast
Young Moe Talks Coming Up In V.A, DMV Music Scene, Relationships In The Industry + More | #EP67

The Conversation Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 4, 2022 63:51


Subscribe To The Audio: https://anchor.fm/jay855 Follow Jay:  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayHill413Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mr_jayhill/   Twitter: https://twitter.com/mr_jayhill --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mrjayhill/support

Takin A Walk
Promo/One man's mission to share his love of the Greenwich Village music scene.

Takin A Walk

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2022 1:12


Promo for episode releasing later this week with musician/author/professor Richard Barone.

Gabba Gabba Huh?
Talks! Episode 69 - Ahvid Harris

Gabba Gabba Huh?

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2022 68:28


Gabba Gabba Huh? is back?! Yes! At least this week! After this, it may (or may not) be next year before I get the ball really rolling again. Hear a little bit about that up front, but I was having microphone issues (causing some audio issues throughout), so some of what I had to say never made it, but you'll get the idea! This week's guest is Ahvid Harris, a local self-described impressionist, with poetry being the main subject. A little bit of a departure, but still local, still the arts, and still DIY. What you'll get here is two recent friends getting a chance to know each other a little bit more and talk about how our crafts are actually quite similar. Stick around through the sometimes crummy audio  to hear some wonderfully recited poetry (luckily my audio issues not present during these segments), and get to know a little bit about the local poetry scene! Ahvid's YouTube playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMpip9Y1S7RfL31KGkg0HZZUwZXPeT9RVLocated inside Vintage Village, on the first floor near Dillards, in the Eastridge Mall, Gastonia, NC!Support the show

The Business Side of Music
#243 - Thailand's Thriving Music Scene

The Business Side of Music

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2022 36:45


Have you ever wondered what the music scene was like in other countries around the world? In this episode, we chat with Karl Kongkham, who is the Managing Director of Warner Music Thailand. We find out what it takes to be a successful recording artist, and live touring performer in a nation of 70 million people. We discover how different and diversified their music culture is compared to other nations, especially to such surrounding nations as South Korea, Japan, and China, and how Thailand is making its mark on the world music stage. Before taking on the role at WMG, Karl Kongkham worked at the Leo Burnett Group, an agency that specializes in advertising, digital and social media, content and innovation, sales promotion, direct marketing and event management. He served as a business director of the company's ARC Worldwide and MSLGROUP subsidiaries. The Business Side of Music ™ © 2022 Lotta Dogs Productions LLC Showrunner and Executive Producer Emeritus: Tom Sabella Producer and Host (the guy who has a face for podcasting): Bob Bender Management Representation: Chuck Thompson for Thompson Entertainment Group, LLC Co-Producer - Audio/Video Editor (the man behind the curtain): Mark Sabella Director of Video and Continuity (the brains of the entire operation): Deborah Halle Marketing and Social Media (all knowing): Sarah Fleshner for 362 Entertainment All Around Problem Solver (and Mental Health Therapist for us): Connie Ribas Recorded inside what could be an old beat up Airstream Trailer located somewhere on what's left of Music Row in Nashville TN (Man we sure do miss Noshville, and the Longhorn Steakhouse) Mixed and Mastered at Music Dog Studios in Nashville, TN Editing and Post at Midnight Express Studio located in Olian, NY Production Sound Design: Keith Stark Voice Over and Promo: Lisa Fuson Special Thanks to the creator and founder of the podcast, Tom Sabella, along with Traci Snow for producing and hosting over 100 episodes of the original "Business Side of Music" podcast and trusting us to carry on their legacy. Website: If you would like to be a guest on the show, please submit a request to: musicpodcast@mail.com If you're interested in becoming a sponsor for the show, let us know and we'll send you a media / sponsorship kit to you. Contact us at musicpodcast@mail.com The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed on this show provided by the guest(s), are those of the guest(s) own, and do not necessarily represent the views, thoughts, and opinions of the host or producers of this podcast. The material and information presented here is for general information purposes only. The Business Side of Music's name and all forms and abbreviations are the property of its owner (Lotta Dogs Productions LLC), and its use does not imply endorsement of or opposition to any specific organization, product, or service. Copyright © 2022 Lotta Dogs Productions, LLC, All rights reserved.

New Music Saturday
S06-Ep42-Pt1: We get right into the heart of the independent music scene with Kiffie...

New Music Saturday

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2022 125:27


Kiffie joins us for Part 1 where we get right into the heart of all things independent music, and talk about his plans for the upcoming year. A great interview, well worth checking out! Then we head right into the music with brand new tunes by The Bedlam Furnaces, Ron Bowes, Marie Therese, Hart and Bowes, The Ruby Tuesday's, Candy Coffins, Smash Into Pieces, Frvgments, Landsdowne, Penny Rich, Toronto Is Broken ft Senotage, Music Ala Carte, and Goatchrist. For all the latest check out www.newmusicsaturday.com x --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/newmusicsaturday/message

Random Acts Of Podcast
The SLWJMZ Interview: Miami Music Scene, Ghost Writing In The Indusrty, Gaming, Fresh N Fit & More

Random Acts Of Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 26, 2022 73:38


All Of It
NYC's Punk Music Scene In The '70s

All Of It

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 25, 2022 13:16


[REBROADCAST FROM AUGUST 10, 2022] In the late 1970s, punk music was particularly popular amongst teenagers. In New York City, they filled clubs like CBGB, Max's Kansas City, Hurrah, and TR3. They also formed bands. Tim Sommer, journalist and former record executive, recently wrote about this era of New York City music history for the New York Times in the article "In the Late '70s, Teen Punks Ruled New York. These Are Their Stories." He joins us to discuss the piece alongside Kate Schellenbach, founding member of the Beastie Boys and drummer for Luscious Jackson who was a teenage punk in the 70s herself. Plus, we take your calls of your memories of the 70s New York punk scene.

Danny Clinkscale: Reasonably Irreverent
Arts and Lifestyle Wednesday presented by Healing Frequency Massage-Danny and Tim's Music Scene November 23rd

Danny Clinkscale: Reasonably Irreverent

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2022 31:55


Lively opinions, recommendations, and reflections varied and fascinating. In the mix John Kennedy, Carrie Underwood, Joni Mitchell, punk history, David Foster, Tom Petty, and much more!

EP Culture Beat Podcast: Music, Art & You
Episode 130: Demi the Daredevil (Austin, TX Music Scene)

EP Culture Beat Podcast: Music, Art & You

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2022 39:39


This episode of THE Underground Source of El Paso, TX features Austin, TX based gothic fantasy pop rockers Demi the Daredevil! The group's lead singer, Jeff Azar, is an El Paso native - he discusses navigating the band through recording and releasing material and touring with new band members Jeremy B (bass) and Johnny D (drums). This was recorded LIVE at East El Paso's famed Album Park, hear us shiver as we podcast in the evening cold! Follow Demi the Daredevil on Instagram - @demithedaredevil - and hit the link in the bio! This episode produced by M. De Santiago and G. Armendariz. Edited and Hosted by M. De Santiago. Intro/outro music by Demi the Daredevil. Intro song: "Withering Heights" Outro song clip: "Rain Dogs" Cover photograph by YouKnowWho. RATED CHLL.

19 Nocturne Boulevard
19 Nocturne Boulevard reissue of the week: TELEGRAM TO SATAN!

19 Nocturne Boulevard

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 17, 2022 29:30


A new story chased by our best friends at the Weekly Bugle. Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Leona  - Robyn Keyes Theo "Smoothie" Walsh - Henry Mark Chief - Julie Hoverson Forsythe Dickman III - Mark Olson Farmer Hadley - Garr Godfrey Daisy - Cailean Evedus Bartender - Charles Austin Miller Desk Clerk - Brown Monkey's Old dude Second Demon - Sherman bear Reporters - Bryan, Wes, and Uncle Randy of Drunken Zombie, plus Brown Monkey Music by  John Woodward Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson Cover Design:  Les Clay   "What kind of a place is it? Why it's a familiar newsroom, can't you tell?" ******************************************************************** A Telegram ...to Satan! Cast: Leona Theo "Smoothie" Walsh Chief Forsythe Dickman III Reporters Farmer Hadley Daisy LuLu Reporters OLIVIA     Did you have any trouble finding it?  What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's a tabloid bullpen, can't you tell?  MUSIC Scene 1.    SOUND     PEOPLE ON PHONES, moving through the room REPORTER JUNE    How many mummies? [dubious] Uh... we can't send a photographer for less than eight. REPORTER BOB    So can we quote you on the health benefits of nude white water rafting? REPORTER KATHY    We just want to give you a chance to tell your side of the story, doctor... REPORTER FRED    And when the wax was ripped away, it left an image of jesus in your chest hair? Scene 2.    CHIEF    Shut the door. SOUND    DOOR SHUTS THEO    Where's Leona? CHIEF    She'll be here in a minute.  Wanted to say something to you first… just the two of us. THEO     [a little worried] Yeah? CHIEF    You're a cute young guy, Theo... THEO    [starting to panic] Uh... CHIEF    You seeing anyone right now? THEO    I'm kind of ...married to the news. CHIEF    I know the feeling. THEO    Uh...! CHIEF    It's a nice sentiment, but you can't let the news rule your life, sweetheart. THEO    Uh.  When is Leona gonna get here? CHIEF    What are you doing on Friday night? THEO    Uh... Uh... I ... CHIEF    Cause my niece really really needs someone to take her to her senior prom, and I figure if you're married to the news, you're about as safe as they get. THEO    [relieved] Oh!  ah!  I can clear Friday night. CHIEF    It's either you or Forsythe Dickman the third, and I really don't want that greasy bastard within a city block of my poor little Aida. THEO    Who? CHIEF    But you didn't hear that from me. SOUND    DOOR OPENS THEO    Dickman? DICKMAN    Yeah. THEO    [gasp]  Oh!  I thought it would be Leona. SOUND    DOOR SHUTS CHIEF    Smoothie Walsh, meet Forsythe Dickman the third.  His grandpa just picked up half the business. DICKMAN    Things are gonna run a little different around here. THEO    Oh.  Is that good? CHIEF    [insincere] Sure it is.  We're just tickled to death to have some new blood in at the managerial level. SOUND    DOOR OPENS LEONA    Oh. SOND    DOOR SHUTS AGAIN THEO    Leona--?  She left. CHIEF    Musta forgot something. DICKMAN    Is that Leona Pope?  [chuckle nastily]  I think she remembered something. THEO    Should I ...go? CHIEF    No, I was about to drop a lead on you.  DICKMAN    I hope you have something good. CHIEF    Oh, are you staying? DICKMAN    Gramps wants me to learn the tabloid business from the very bottom.  So yeah, I'm staying. MUSIC Scene 3.    AMB    ROOF SOUND    LIGHTER, SMOKING THEO    [off] Leona? LEONA    Are you alone? THEO    Uh, yeah. LEONA    Come on up, then. THEO    That's a little far out on the ledge, isn't it? LEONA    It's the only place for miles around that's far enough from a door to legally smoke. THEO    Oh.  [beat] We have an assignment. LEONA    We as in you and me, or is there more "we" than I'm aware of? THEO    Uh, no.  Were you expecting someone? LEONA    [sigh]  I'll come down. MUSIC Scene 4.    SOUND    IN CAR LEONA    What's the story? THEO    I was about to ask you the same thing. LEONA    [grr] The story we're supposed to go and get. THEO    Oh!  Cattle mutilation.  It's a bit of a drive. LEONA    And Dickman? THEO    No.  He's got a story of his own. LEONA    Which is? THEO    [a bit envious] The Weed-Whacker killer. LEONA    Figures.  Dickman gets the latest serial sensation and we get cow guts. THEO    Well, it's actually-- LEONA    That jackass gets everything he wants.  Almost. THEO    Sounds like you have a history. LEONA    Used to have an entire curriculum. THEO    Huh? LEONA    [getting annoyed] History.  Chemistry.  Biology...  [disgusted] Drama.  MUSIC Scene 5.    AMB    FARM LEONA    Bucolic. THEO    I've never been on a farm before! LEONA    I've worked hard to avoid them myself. HADLEY    Hallooo!  You must be the folks from the World Bugle! THEO    Must we?  Ah, yes.  We must!  I mean, that's us! LEONA    [flat] Show us the cows. HADLEY    I'm Mr. Hadley, and this is Lulu. LULU    [goat] Maaaa. LEONA    Don't try and tell me that's a cow. HADLEY    No, no.  Lulu's a goat. They're better than dogs.  They can stand guard, fetch, and they're very loyal GOAT    Maaa. LEONA    You tell him.  Show us the cows. HADLEY    She can even fetch – here. THEO    A ball?  Should I throw it? HADLEY    Nah – just hold it up.  Fetch Lulu! LULU    MAAA! SOUND    THUMP THEO    Ow. HADLEY    And now she gets the ball.  Just a little goat humor. SOUND    BRUSHING OFF, GETTING UP THEO    [sigh] Tell us all about this problem you're having with your cattles being... mutilated. LEONA    Cattle is already plural. HADLEY    Come along and you can see for yourself. THEO    Ew?  I mean - it's been a couple of days.  Won't they be a bit ... ripe? LEONA    [musing] Really quick shutter.  THEO    What? LEONA    Catches all the flies in mid-flight. THEO    Ewwww.. HADLEY    Oh, are you thinking my cows are dead?  Oh. No.  Come on. MUSIC Scene 6.    LEONA    [stunned] And WHEN did this happen? THEO    How many are there? HADLEY    Five.  Bessie, Buttercup, Wilamina, Miss Amoorica, and Fred. LEONA    You have a cow named Fred? HADLEY    She's had a hard life. THEO    And all five of them have these... HADLEY    Big tattooed triangles.  Yep. LEONA    Does it go underneath, too, or just end there? HADLEY    Nope.  Each one has her entire left flank covered in this...ink. THEO    And it's not just paint? HADLEY    Nope.  LEONA    Humh.  Punk cows.  Next thing you know, they'll be going for nipple piercings. THEO    That would really be -- LEONA    [trying not to laugh] An udder mess. THEO    Ew.  This doesn't look like something that happened overnight. HADLEY    Nope.  Someone's a-sneaking in each night and doing it. LEONA    And they got THIS much done before you noticed? HADLEY    What can I say?  I'm a right-sided milker.  MUSIC Scene 7.    SOUND    WALKING IN MUD THEO    Ah, nature. LEONA    One thing you can say for nature.  It stinks. THEO    That's the smell of life! LEONA    No, it's the smell of the cowpie you just stepped in. THEO    Ew.  Hey look!  Someone's coming! LEONA    Is it Lulu? THEO    No!  [excited] It looks like a girl! LEONA    Can't you tell?  DAISY    [off, calling]  He-ey! THEO    Hiya! LEONA    [hissed, hinting]  Interview.  Witness.  Stay on task. THEO    What? SOUND    SLAP THEO    Right.  Hello, miss--? DAISY    [running up, panting]  I'm Daisy! THEO    Yeah?  LEONA    [hissed] Does she live near here? THEO    Do you--? DAISY    I'm just one farm over. THEO    Oh.  Good. LEONA    Does she know anything about the cows? DAISY    Huh? THEO    HuH? LEONA    Tell you what.  We're gonna play blindfold questions. DAISY    That sounds like fun! THEO    What?  [muffled] Hey, what are you doing? [clear again] But I can't see anything now! LEONA    That's the idea.  DAISY    Who are you folks anyway?  I never got a chance to-- THEO    We're from the World Bugle.  Investigating the cows. DAISY    Oh!  The tattoos? THEO    Yeah.  Are they happening at your farm too? LEONA    Turn to the left, just a bit.  THEO    Huh? LEONA    You're talking to her shoulder. THEO    Ah. DAISY    Well, no, ain't no one else in the valley having the same problem.  And no one can figure out how it's happening, nohow! THEO    No one knows how he's doing it? DAISY    He?  Do you know who it is? THEO    Just reporter shorthand.  Playing the odds.  [serious sounding] Most of these kind of... uh "perps" are male.  82%, in fact. LEONA    Nice fake. DAISY    Wow! THEO    Not that we rule anyone out.  You could even be the one doing this. DAISY    Not me!  I can't even draw a cow.  [sudden interest]  Who's that? LEONA    Who?  Shit!  My turn for the blindfold. SOUND    WHIP OF FABRIC THEO    [Baffled]  Leo?  What? Why are you tying that over your whole face? LEONA    [muffled] Shut up! DICKMAN    [coming on] Finally some sign of life out here in the hinterlands. DAISY    I dunno where hinter's land is.  Is he new around here? THEO    [getting it]  Oh!  Hi, Mr. Dickman. DICKMAN    You can call me Ace, kid. THEO    [chummy] And you can call me Theo, Ace. LEONA    [muffled] "Smoothie" THEO    Shh. DAISY    Can I call you Ace too?  You look kinda familiar.  Have we ever met? DICKMAN    So, kid, who's the chick in the turban? THEO    Oh, she's my new ... intern.  Uh, she's -uh- devout.  Can't show her face. DAISY    But she had it off-- LEONA    [zhagareet - high pitched warble] THEO    [running over]  We're very equal-opportunity at the world bugle, you see.  DAISY    Say, you look kinda like Clint Eastwood.  Are you related to Clint Eastwood? DICKMAN    [ignoring Daisy] Does she speak English, at least? THEO    Only to people she's been... properly introduced to.  It's very ...protective. DICKMAN    Doesn't make for much of a reporter.  THEO    [warming to his lie] That's why she's learning to take photographs instead.  [talking loud and slow like he's talking to someone foreign] Take picture now?  Show? LEONA    [muttered and muffled] I got something to show you-- THEO    [snap] Jasmine?  Take picture! LEONA    [sort of vaguely pakistani] oh, yess.  Picture take i. SOUND    SNAP DICKMAN    Hey!  You didn't need a flash!  It's broad daylight!  Right in my damn eyes. SOUND    SNAP LEONA    Many apologies! DAISY    Wanna take a picture of me? DICKMAN    [stalking closer] Hey!  That camera - it looks kinda familiar. THEO    [covering] Oh! They all look alike. LEONA    [panicking] uh -- No more talk.  Time to pray.  SOUND    DROP TO THE GROUND LEONA    [muttering, muffled] THEO    You better not bother her now.  She gets these breaks a - a bunch of times every day.  It's freedom of religion, man. DICKMAN    I'm sure I've seen her before.  And she ain't no -- THEO    ACE!  Don't use that kind of language!  [whispered] You could get us sued! LEONA    [MUTTERS LOUDER] DAISY    Can she take a picture of ME when she gets up? MUSIC Scene 8.    AMB    QUIET HOTEL ROOM THEO    That was kind of... LEONA    Mortifying? THEO    Well...  You don't know much about other cultures, do you? LEONA    I only had to fool him, and he knows less.  [annoyed] It's kind of like if you and I ever run into a lion - I don't have to outrun the lion... I just have to outrun you. THEO    Are there a lot of lions in - [getting it] Ohhh... [moment of awkward silence] LEONA    I suppose you're wondering about all this. THEO    No. LEONA    It's the most embarrassing episode of my life. THEO    Oh.  I wouldn't want to pry. LEONA    Back when I was young and foolish. THEO    [astonished] You were young? LEONA    And that disgusting hunk of manhood swept me off my girlish feet... THEO    [getting a bit weirded out] girlish? LEONA    He was so confident... THEO    Uh, Leona... LEONA    So self assured... THEO    Come on, Leona. LEONA    And when he walked away that dark and stormy morning, leaving me lying in a puddle of my own tears...  THEO    Please stop. LEONA    [snarl] He walked away with the best scoop I'd ever had.  THEO    [relieved sigh] Oh! LEONA    That's why you can't tell him anything about our story.  Not one iota. THEO    Why would I, I don't plan to-- LEONA    He'll knock on the door any minute now. SOUND    KNOCK THEO    Wow! LEONA    Take him to the bar.  THEO    But what do I do? LEONA    Get him drunk.  Keep him talking. SOUND    DOOR CHAIN LEONA    [sharp whisper] Oh, and while you're distracting him— THEO    Distracting? LEONA    Yeah.  See if you can steal his story! MUSIC Scene 9.    AMB    BAR DICKMAN    This is the life, eh?  Just us guys.  Us reporters.  No one understands the loneliness… THEO    Uh, yeah. DICKMAN    The mantle of responsibility we don every day--   THEO    Really? DICKMAN    Our responsibility to the public!  To keep them informed.  THEO    Oh!  Is that why your – uh – family bought into the World bugle? DICKMAN    Nah.  Grandad just loves Ratboy.  THEO    Oh.  [trying to be subtle]  So...how goes it with the weed-whacker? DICKMAN    [suspicious] Hey – you trying something? THEO    No!  Just  thought… uh… I might be able to [uncertain] Help? DICKMAN    I don't need any help. THEO    But I might have heard something.  A lead. DICKMAN    [skeptical] Reeeeally? THEO    Oh, yeah.  [warming to it]  I overheard something.  Recently.  About –uh – [lost, then bright idea] about someone buying a lot of weed whackers! DICKMAN    Really?  And what could possibly make you think that he would need more than one weed whacker? THEO    He? DICKMAN    Playing the odds.  82% of these perps are male, you know. THEO    Oh, yeah.  I know. DICKMAN    [intimidating] But what made you say that? THEO    Its just what I heard!  Really! DICKMAN    [relenting]  Cuz that's a detail the police have insisted on keeping back from the public.  THEO    Oh! MUSIC HOTEL CLERK    May I help you? LEONA    [talking in a fake deep voice] Package for Mr. Dickmam.  What room is he in? HOTEL CLERK    I can accept that for him. LEONA    No. uh – it's special delivery.  From the head office. HOTEL CLERK    I can page him. LEONA    Can't wait.  Must stay… refrigerated.  Plus, he's probably out on assignment-- HOTEL CLERK    I think he's just over in the bar. LEONA    [sigh, drops the voice]  Fifty bucks? SOUND    MONEY SLAPPED ON TABLE, SCOOPED UP HOTEL CLERK    [low response] Here's the spare key.  Have a nice day! MUSIC Scene 10.    AMB    BAR THEO    --And he woke up with a donkey's head! DICKMAN    What, like in the bed next to him? THEO    No, this is Shakespeare, not the Godfather!  Like his head was a donkey's head. DICKMAN    [musing] Shakespeare WAS the original godfather.  I think you might have a story there. THEO    Still not as good as yours! DICKMAN    When you been in the biz as long as I have… SOUND    PHONE RINGS, ANSWERED BARTENDER    No, sorry.  We don't serve those here. DICKMAN    [nasty laugh] Must be talking about your “sidekick.” THEO    Ew! BERTENDER    Oh, someone NAMED Smoothie.  I'll check.  [up] Is there a-- THEO    [quick, sharp] It's for me! DICKMAN    Smoothie? THEO    Code name.  Top secret.  [to phone]  Yeah?  Yeah!  Oh yeaaaaahhhhh. SOUND    HANGS UP DICKMAN    Yeah? THEO    Yeah.  Gotta go.  The –uh- cows came home. MUSIC Scene 11.    AMB    NIGHT, PASTURE THEO    We always seem to end up outside in the dark waiting for dangerous people. LEONA    That's where the stories are. THEO    Did you find out anything? LEONA    Just that he's got nothing.  [chuckles] THEO    Isn't that bad for the paper?  I mean, they still need stories! LEONA    Puppy.  [gasp]  Look! THEO    Lights!  Is it aliens? LEONA    Coleman. THEO    Who's Coleman? LEONA    A lamp.  It's just the farmer.  He must have the same idea we do. THEO    We do? LEONA    To keep watch until the vandal shows up. THEO    Would this fall under vandalism?  Hmm…  I guess cows count as property. LEONA    Shh!  Look! THEO    He's just going in to check on them. SOUND    Mooooo THEO    That didn't sound happy. LEONA    They're cows.  They don't really “do” happy. THEO    Hey, where's Lulu? LEONA    Lulu? THEO    The goat- he said she follows him everywhere. LEONA    I dunno.  Sleeping? THEO    Let's get closer to the barn. MUSIC Scene 12.    AMB    BARN THEO    [whispering] I told you there was something wrong with a man who would leave his goat behind! LEONA    If I had a nickel for every time I've heard… SOUND    Bzz.  Mooooo! THEO    [standing up]  How dare you! LEONA    Oh, boy. HADLEY/DEMON    Who dares disturb me at my work. THEO    Uh… does he sound different? LEONA    I'll be in the bushes – uh – stall. HADLEY/DEMON    Come forward, mortal. THEO    uh-- LEONA    He means you.  [uh - pushing him] SOUND    PUSH, HE STUMBLES FORWARD THEO    [whisered] What do I do? LEONA    Interview him.  It.  Nah, think of it as a him – less scary that way. HADLEY/DEMON    What do you want? THEO    [gulp] I -- want to hear your side of the story! HADLEY/DEMON    Story? THEO    Uh, clearly you're doing something here – and very artistically, I might add – but I can't imagine a … s-something, such as yourself doing it for no reason.  You must have a … a purpose.  The people want to know! LEONA    [hissed] step to the left! THEO    Huh? LEONA    You're blocking my shot! HADLEY/DEMON    You think you will shoot me?  Muhahahaha!  Mortal bullets will have no effect! THEO    no!  no!  not shot shot.  Just picture shot. LEONA    [whispered] Stay in the light - in case he eviscerates you. HADLEY/DEMON    Pictures, yes.  I make pictures too. THEO    Right!  What are they for? HADLEY/DEMON    For?  They are a summoning!  When the ring is complete, he will come! THEO    [shock and awe] Satan? HADLEY/DEMON    [matter of fact] Nonsense, he's much too busy.  That's why I'm here.  [demony again] NO!  It is the renegade that I am here to summon.  I have been placed in his path and he will be mine!  SOUND    CAMERA CLICKS HADLEY/DEMON    [petulant]  If some people will go away and leave me to my work. THEO    maybe we can help? LEONA    [whispered] Ixnay!  Otnay our Objay! HADLEY/DEMON    Help?  You? THEO    I mean, if you will spend a little time maybe telling us more about what you're doing? HADLEY/DEMON    Hmm…. [thinks long] Which do you think is my good side? MUSIC Scene 13.    AMB    OUTSIDE, DAY THEO    We should tell him!  He must have been drugged, or delusional, or sleepwalking! LEONA    [assured]  Possessed. THEO    or sleepwalking. LEONA    Possessed makes for a better story. THEO    Oh.  LEONA    Did you have the mini recorder with you? THEO    Uh, no. LEONA    Dammit Smoothie! THEO    I did ... something else with it. LEONA    What? THEO    Let me see if it worked first. LEONA    [sigh] whatever.  What's important is to figure out what questions to ask this demon possessor when we talk to him tonight. THEO    Tonight? LEONA    Meanwhile, we can get some quality time with the girls. THEO    Girls?  You mean like Daisy? LEONA    No, I mean like Fred. MUSIC Scene 14.    AMB    BARN SOUND    Moos THEO    Oh, those girls. LEONA    Shh.  You'll put them off. THEO    What are we doing here? LEONA    Getting glamour shots.  What else?  Move that one in behind the one with the white ear. THEO    Why don't we ask farmer Hadley to help with this?  I don't know anything about cow maneuvers. DICKMAN    [off, hding]  [Laughs] LEONA    [starts to laugh, then cuts it off with a snarl] THEO    Holy cow! LEONA    Five of them.  Come out, Dick. DICKMAN    Leona?  And here I thought you'd converted. THEO    Maybe I should leave you two alone? LEONA    Yeah.  I'm a transformer.  {nyea-uh-uh-ow – transformer noise]  Just call me optimus kick your ass. THEO    Help me out, Fred,  They're not listeneing. SOUND    MOO, LICK THEO    Ew. [up]  We should go back to the – things to do – back at the hotel? LEONA    No.  I want to know why this notorious poacher is hanging around our story?  Could it be because he's stumped on his own? DICKMAN    Im never stumped.  I'm [thinks, then nasty triumph] I'm multitasking! LULU    [outside]  Maaaaa THEO    Hey guys, here comes Lulu!  Better be nice. DICKMAN    Who's LuLu?  Is she that dishy Barbie in the teensy cutoffs from yesterday? LEONA    [chuckles] Nah, she's even more perfect for you.  DICKMAN    [suggestive] Hot, stupid and has a great story? LEONA    [taking it personally]  I was never hot – I mean, I was never STUPID! SOUND    DOOR OPENS THEO    [loudly, trying to break up the fight] Oh, Farmer Hadley!  Lulu!  How nice to see you both! LEONA    Here Dickman.  Hold this.  Lulu, fetch! LULU    Maaaa! DICKMAN    What's with the ball?  Ow! SOUND    THUMP, BODY DROP MUSIC Scene 15.    AMB    BARN, NIGHT THEO    He said he'd explain the whole thing tonight. LEONA    Smacks of super villain rhetoric. THEO    Huh? LEONA    You know, all that “Before I kill you, Mister Bond” crap. THEO    Kill? HADLEY/DEMON    Oh, yes, I am here to kill. THEO    [gasp!] LEONA    [gasp] I'll be in the hayloft. HADLEY/DEMON    {chuckles]  I thought you might like a sound bite for your show. THEO    Uh, we're print news. HADLEY/DEMON    Too bad.  That would have been sweet. THEO    But we do have a website! LEONA    But he wasn't recording. HADLEY/DEMON    [disgruntled] Well, stay out of my way, then. THEO    You said tonight you would reveal all. LEONA    I'll get the wide angle lens. HADLEY/DEMON    Tonight I will return an escaped soul back to hell!!! LEONA    Is his name Dickman? HADLEY/DEMON    He's not an escapee.  But we have him on our radar. THEO    Ew. LEONA    Good. HADLEY/DEMON    No, this is a soul that escaped and is even now cutting a swath across the country! THEO and LEONA    [unison]  The weed-whacker!? LEONA    [musing] Scooping him is almost better than sending him to hell… HADLEY/DEMON    These cows are the living, breathing summoning spell.  Watch as I circle them up, nose to tail-- LEONA    Facing widdershins, I see. THEO    Huh? LEONA    Anti-clockwise? THEO    Oh. HADLEY/DEMON    It's a satanic thing. THEO    Ahh. LEONA    Omigod! HADLEY/DEMON    [slightly offended] Please! LEONA    Just an interjection.  I see it all now!  I relaly do need to get up into the hayloft! THEO    Why? HADLEY/DEMON    Why don't you both go up there and observe? THEO    Uh, okay. LEONA    Come on! SOUND    CLIMBING LADDER HADLEY/DEMON    [begins the chant]  loren ipsum dolar sit amat… THEO    What am I supposed to see? LEONA    Look down! SOUND    SNAPPING PHOTOS, THROUGHOUT THEO    Uh...Cows. LEONA    and? THEO    Oh!  Oh, wow!  When they're all in a circle like that, with the tattooed triangles on the inside, it makes-- LEONA    A pentagram.  Yeah.  Trippy. SOUND    DOOR OPENS, OFF THEO    Did you hear that? LEONA    Hear what? SIOUND    CAMERA STILL CLICKING AWAY THEO    I'll go check. LEONA    [absorbed in her work] Yeah, yeah. SOUND    CREAKING AS THEO MOVES THEO    [muttered] I think it was over … here? DICKMAN    [muffled a bit, dictating]  Investigating strange noises in the barn, hoping that the killer was hiding out, I courageously – no, scratch that – with no thought for my own safety, just the safety of the world, I pressed on. THEO    [to self] Oh, heck!  [quiet, calling]  Leona? LEONA    [snapped hiss] Busy. THEO    Oh, boy… SOUND    OTHER DOOR SLAMS OPEN HADLEY/DEMON    [Cuts off in mid-sentence]  [dramatic] You! WW DEMON    [dramatic] Yes, it is I! HADLEY/DEMON    [matter of fact] I'm here to take you home, Jerry. WW DEMON    I don't wanna. HADLEY/DEMON    Too bad.  Get in the box. WW DEMON    [huffy sigh]  Fine.  But I'm going because I want to and not because you told me to. HADLEY/DEMON    Yup.  Just like the last four times.  whatever. SOUND    SORT OF A WHISTLY NOISE DICKMAN    Is that it? HADLEY/DEMON    Yeah.   Why? DICKMAN    Seems anti-climactic. HADLEY/DEMON    Who do I look like?  Peter Jackson?  Gotta go, then.  [to Leona] One mor pic before I drop this carcass? SOUND    CLICK DICKMAN    [stunned] You! LEONA    [sneering] You!  THEO    Uh, guys--! SOUND    WEIRD SWIRLY NOISE DICKMAN    This is my story, Leo.  But I'll let you in as my photographer. THEO    Guys??? LEONA    I'll give you a shot.  But not from my camera! SOUND    WEIRD SWIRLY NOISE GETS LOUDER THEO    I'll be in the bushes. SOUND    WEIRD SWRILY EXPLOSION Scene 16.    EXPLOSION TURNS INTO "on tape" SOUND    CLICK, turns off CHIEF    [concerned] Is Leona's film okay? THEO    Oh, yeah.  It was the weirdest thing, too - no one was actually hurt, but they all had this weird blackout period.  I guess I got away early enough to miss most of it, but even I don't rmember everything on the tape. CHIEF    Waitaminute - didn't you say in there somewhere that you didn't have your recorder on you? THEO    Uh, yeah...  SOUND    DOOR OPENS, LEONA ENTERS LEONA    Here's those photos. SOUND    SLAPS THEM DOWN CHIEF    [going through]  yeah, yeah. Yeah - OHHH!  Nice goat.  Yeah, yeah.  Cute.  Holy crap! LEONA    [chuckles] THEO    Hwat - what was that? CHIEF    I take it this compromising picture of Forsythe Dickman the third has some little part in why you got his story without him arguing at all? LEONA    [overly innocent] Nah - he just admitted that it was all one story from the beginning, and since we did all the work-- THEO    [confidential]  It was really hard, getting the goat to stand still for the picture! CHIEF    you didn't- uh - I mean, that poor goat! LEONA    Nah, once we got her into the tutu - it's all in the lighting.  THEO    Was harder to dress Dickman. CHIEF    Well, get out of here and write up your story-- My personal shopper Pierre is gonna be in here any minute - Wednesday is intimates. LEONA    Going.  Now. SOUND    THEY RUSH OUT Scene 17.    REPORTER FRED    Oh, please, you're the fourth Hitler sighting this week! REPORTER KATHY    Are you sure these tiny people who appear when you drink from your magic bottle aren't just ...uh... D-Ts? REPORTER BOB    And you're willing to wear that fur suit and infiltrate the secret hideout?  Do you know the paw-shake? SOUND    HANG UP PHONE REPORTER JUNE    [excited yell]  Aliens are landing in Branson!!!  They're demanding tickets for Dolly! END

Living the Dream with Curveball
Living the dream with author and 90s music scene and pop culture expert Andy Frye

Living the Dream with Curveball

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 11, 2022 23:57


Andy Frye has written for Rolling Stone, ESPN, and Forbes, and has interviewed scores of rock stars and athletes from Smashing Pumpkins to Shaquille O'Neal. In June 2022, Andy published NINETY DAYS IN THE 90s: a Rock N Roll Time Travel Story—a novel about the 1990s music scene and 90s pop culture.I have written for Rolling Stone, ESPN, and currently interview pro athletes and sports legends for Forbes. In June, I published my first novel, NINETY DAYS IN THE 90s, a plot-driven fiction title travel story that encompasses music, pop culture, and contemporary history.www.andyfrye.comwww.90daysinthe90s.comwww.sportyfrye.com

19 Nocturne Boulevard
19 Nocturne Boulevard reissue episode of the week: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY DALI?

19 Nocturne Boulevard

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 10, 2022 24:58


Theo and Leona of the World Bugle (Team E-O to you) return for another scoop. (they originally appeared in Cultists Stole My Baby!) Written and produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Theo - Henry Marks Leona - Robyn Keyes Chief - Julie Hoverson Larry - Dave Fontenot Baby Dali1 - Julie Hoverson Baby Dali2 - Risa Torres Baby Dali3 - Danar Hoverson Waitress - Sirena Raine Melody - Tanja Milojevic Harmony - Cailean Evedus Other Dalis - Marleigh Norton, Kat Pryde, Gwendolyn Gieseke-Woodard, Kimberly Gianopoulos, Kimberly Poole, Brittney Cruz Music by Josh Woodward Dali Song - Music by Reju (used under creative commons license), words by Arthur O'Shaugnessy, Sung by Julie Hoverson Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson Cover Design:  Julie Hoverson   "What kind of a place is it? Why it's an infamous newsroom, can't you tell?" **************************************************************************** Whatever Happened to Baby Dali? Cast: [Opening credits - Olivia] Chief Theo "Smoothie" Walsh Leona Pope Dali 1 Other Dalis Melody Harmony Waitress Larry Four Reporters OLIVIA     Did you have any trouble finding it?  What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's a notorious Newsroom, can't you tell?  MUSIC SCENE 1 SOUND     bullpen REPORTER 1    So your sister said - oh, not YOUR sister, a NUN named SISTER. REPORTER 2    Drinking the vinegar counteracts the toxins in the system due to-- REPORTER 3    Fourteen people just vanished?  Were you on any mind-altering substances? REPORTER 4    Yes, if you spell it backwards it certainly does make the word-- SOUND    DOOR CLOSES THEO    Chief?  I - uh-- [breaks off in horror] SOUND    RUSTLE OF TAFFETA CHIEF    Whaddaya think? THEO    [freaked out] Are you... getting married?  [squeak] In white? LEONA    [quiet] Are you really asking? THEO    Uh-- CHIEF    Nah - scared ya didn't I? THEO    Uh-- CHIEF    Don't worry.  I'm still eligible. THEO    Uh--? LEONA    Back away.  Don't take your eyes off her.  CHIEF    Whaddaya think?  It's a little tight in the gut.  Gonna have to cut some of them carbs. THEO    [trying] Yeah.  That would do it. CHIEF    At least I got the shoulders to pull off strapless.  Hey, where you going? THEO    Uh--! LEONA    Eager to get to work.  You know these young pups. CHIEF    Good attitude.  Interview room 3. THEO    Oh, good! LEONA    [side of her mouth] Quick. SCENE 2 SOUND    DOOR SHUTS THEO    what was that? LEONA    It's June. THEO    And? LEONA    Happens about this time every year. THEO    Why? LEONA    Bridal feature pull-out?  I don't know! [hissed] I don't ask!  [commanding]  Room 3. THEO    Oh, right. SOUND     DOOR OPENS LEONA    You go first. THEO    Right.  [a beat]  Holy cow!  It's her! LEONA    Chief doesn't move that fast.  Especially in a train. THEO    No, I mean - I mean - It IS you, isn't it? DALI 1    Is it safe here? THEO    Why does everyone ask that? LEONA    Who does he think you are? DALI 1    I'm - I'm Baby Dali. THEO    I knew it!  I love your music. LEONA    We don't do publicity stunts.  C'mon, Smoothie. SOUND    HUSTLES HIM OUT OF ROOM, DOOR SHUTS THEO    We don't? LEONA    Of course we do.  When we arrange them.  Part of our job - your job - is to protect the Bugle from being used for anyone ELSE's cheap publicity. THEO    Oh.  But Baby Dali's been missing for fourteen days! LEONA    Probably in rehab. THEO    No!  No one knows where she's been!  If we could break the story-- SCENE 3 LARRY    Hey!  You'll never guess who I just took a call from! THEO    Ratboy? LEONA    State mental health board? LARRY    [gloating] Baby Dali.  She's ready to come home, and called US to break the story! THEO    Wait, but she-- SOUND    SLAP LEONA    [covering] When did she call? LARRY    Just now. THEO    Where did she say she was? LARRY    Hah!  No way.  This is MY scoop!  [running away, laughing]  My ticket out of the bullpen!  [stops, turns back] Hah! THEO    That's ... sad. LEONA    Yeah.  Send a stripper.  Come on. THEO    Where are we going? LEONA    [exasperated] Room 3? THEO    Aha! SCENE 4 SOUND    DOOR OPENS LEONA    Sorry about that.  Had to do some quick fact checking. THEO    Yeah!  Make sure you're really.... [melting]  Really her. DALI 1    Precisely the problem!  Proving I'm her!  I mean me. LEONA    [muttered prompt] Oh?  THEO    [gasp] Oh? DALI 1    I'm plagued with posers! LEONA    [sigh]  Aren't the solid black sunglasses and white fright wig a bit of a giveaway? THEO    [infatuated] I knew who you were the moment I saw you. DALI 1    You have a nice face. THEO    I do? LEONA    My colleague will now take notes. SOUND    PEN, PAPER, SLAPPED DOWN THEO    Yeah.... MUSIC SCENE 5 SOUND    IN CAR THEO    Where are we going? LEONA    Following Larry. THEO    Who? LEONA    [disgusted sigh] THEO    [getting it] Oh, him!  How do we find him again? LEONA    He hasn't left yet.  THEO    How do you know? LEONA    I ordered donuts. DALI 1    Oh! LEONA    Shh.  You're not here, remember? DALI 1    [singing] I swear! THEO    Why is she hiding in the back seat under your gym bag? LEONA    One - so she won't be seen, since she won't take off that wig. DALI 1    It is my own hair! LEONA    Like hell.  I saw it shift. DALI 1    It is a wig - but it IS my own hair. LEONA    [shudder] uhhhhh. THEO    And two? LEONA    Two what? THEO    You said that was reason one.  What's two? LEONA    So you can focus, dumbass. THEO    Oh. LEONA    There he goes!  Keep your eyes on the green Camaro. THEO    Camaro? LEONA    [growl] Green car.  Coming out of the parking garage! THEO    Gotcha. MUSIC SCENE 6 AMB    PARK LARRY    [giving a code phrase] The dog flies in the springtime. DALI 2    [squeaky] Yellow is the color of my true love's eyes. LARRY    You sound... different. DALI 2    I use a voice modulator on stage. LARRY    Ah.  So.  The world is listening.  Tell me your story. DALI 2    Listening?  Aren't you from the print media? LARRY    Oh.  Yeah.  I was speaking figuratively. DALI 2    I see.  Anyway...  I have a really big story, but I have to be certain it will see print! LARRY    Of course! SOUND    FOOTSTEPS STORM UP DALI 1    Imposter! DALI 2    Imposter! LEONA    [off, whispered] I thought you were watching her! THEO    [vague] Uh-huh. LEONA    Go get the story dumbass.  THEO    But you? LEONA    I can take photos from here. THEO    [vague] Okay. SOUND    SLAP LEONA    Did I mention I'm not giving warnings any more? LARRY    [angry] You?  No way!  The tale of two Dalis is all mine! THEO    I - we - brought one of them. LARRY     Then dance with the Dali you came with!  It's only fair! DALI 1    She's a fake! DALI 2    She's a fake! THEO    Waitaminute.  You don't even sound like-- BOTH DALIS    Autotune!! DALI 3    [chiming in] Autotune. THEO    Oh. Huh?  Three? MUSIC SCENE 7 WAITRESS    All, righty then - that will be 3 orders of waffles, three fruit cups- ALL DALIS    It's the only thing vegan on the menu. WAITRESS    And two pots of coffee.  Comin right up! SOUND    DOOR OPENS SOUND    DINER NOISES SOUND    DOOR SHUTS, CUTTING OUT THE SOUND LEONA    [prompting]  Ok, this isn't going to last forever - someone will say something, eventually, and then these three won't be an exclusive any more! LARRY    Exclusive to all three of us.  I get my credit, too. THEO    Of course!  Fair is fair. LEONA    [muttered] I got your credit right here. DALI 1    Can we get on with this? DALI 2    I have a recording session in two hours. DALI 3    No, I do. DALI 1    How can they be so much like me? LEONA    Ask them some questions - figure out which is the real one. THEO    Right.  Ok.  Which of you is the real Baby Dali? ALL DALIS    I am. DALI 3    Or should I say [singing] I am me and no one else is. LARRY    Sounds convincing to me.  LEONA    I think that one's a guy. THEO    That doesn't help... there's been "speculation" about Dali. LEONA    [disgusted noise] Ugh!  At least let me get some snaps while you think. SOUND    TAKING PHOTOS THEO    Gee, they even pose alike. LARRY    I guess it will all come down to DNA. THEO    I don't think so.  Dali is a notorious germophobe, and a compulsive clean freak.  [nervously over explaining] According to her official web page, which I only browsed for informational newspaper business reasons. LARRY    Yeah, me too, but I didn't read much.  Those costumes are pretty skimpy. THEO    Don't be so creepy, not right in front of her - uh, them. SCENE 8 SOUND    DOOR KICKED IN THEO    Whoa!  LARRY    [faints] Uhhh... LEONA    I'll be in the... uh...  Corner. THEO    Stop right there! MELODY    You're not giving orders here! HARMONY    Yeah.  Get those hands up where we can see them. LEONA    Keep them talking, this is great.  THEO    Talking? LEONA    Find out what they want. THEO    They're dressed like ninjas.  MELODY    What did you say? THEO    Nothing!  MELODY    I heard you, and I have perfect pitch. THEO    oh.  Nothing ... uh... uncomplimentary. MELODY    [getting closer]  Do you know who we are? LEONA    Say no. THEO    Uh, no?  and - and I don't want to, because that way I can never identify you or even report you for robbing a waffle house! MELODY    [scoffing] Waffle house! HARMONY    We care nothing for your waffles.  THEO    Uh, ok. ALL DALIS    We're having the fruit cup. MELODY    No.  No fruit cup today.  You are coming with us.  Just you three. LEONA    You can't just leave us here.  We might-- [prompting] might--? THEO    Uh, what?  LEONA    We might [prompting] do something?  Ugh! THEO    We might tell [heavy import] THEM. MELODY    [horrified] How do you know about THEM? LEONA    I'm actually impressed. THEO    oh...  Everyone knows about THEM.  But only a select few know how to reach THEM. LEONA    Smoothie. MELODY    [grim]  right.  You will come with us as well.  HARMONY    What about the sleeping one?  Does he know THEM? LEONA    Oh, him?  He doesn't know anyone. MUSIC SCENE 9 SOUND    WALKING, ECHOEY MELODY    Stop! THEO    Can we take off the blindfolds now? MELODY    Harmony!  Take off the blindfolds.  And search them.  We don't want any messages getting to THEM. SOUND    RUSTLING ALL DALIS    [general interjections of annoyance like Hey!  Stop!  Ouch!  Ooh!] HARMONY    Give me your phone.  LEONA    Here. SOUND     ZIP HARMONY    What's this, in your bag?  [confused, examining a camera] It has a lens like a phone, but it's awfully big.  And it doesn't even have a keypad. LEONA    Hmph.  It's an antique.  Keepsake.  I keep meaning to have it mounted on a keychain. HARMONY    It's big for a keychain. LEONA    [exasperated]  I'll never lose my keys.  Besides, I still use the flash... uh - flashlight function sometimes.  See? SOUND    CAMERA SNAPS HARMONY    Oh.  Ok then.  And you. THEO    Be gentle. LEONA    [sarcastic aside] Be careful.  At least she left on the ninja mask.  [up, to Theo] find out what's going on. THEO    Harmony, is it?  A codename, I'm sure, since you and your partner there are clearly too smart to use your real names in front of your victims - I mean in front of civilians. HARMONY    [noncommittal grunt]  Hmph. THEO    All right.  I'm not asking for me, but what do you plan to do with the Baby Dalis?  I worry that something bad is going to happen. HARMONY    Nothing bad.  To them. THEO    That's a lower case "them," right?  Not a THEM them? MELODY    Enough chit-chat!  You probably know why we brought you here-- LEONA    Not a clue. THEO    No. MELODY    We are the Secret Protectorate Aligned to Reduce or Control Leaching of Entertainers. THEO    Leaching? Huh? MELODY    We needed an "L". LEONA    Sparcle? [snort of almost laughter] THEO    Tell me more.  I'm a good listener. MELODY    You don't know it, friend, but there's a celebrity crisis happening every 20 minutes, and no one else is trying to help! THEO    No?  Really? MELODY    That - those three - are proof of the latest perfidy the government has in the works. ALL DALIS    We are? MELODY    [definite] Cloning. THEO    Wow. ALL DALIS    Uh...  DALI 3    [panicked] I need to use the bathroom.  MUSIC SCENE 10  [Whispered conversation] DALI 1    Yes, my disappearance was a publicity stunt, and yes I am the real Baby Dali. LEONA    Heh heh - just like To Tell The Truth. DALI 2    What? LEONA    God I feel old. THEO    And the other two - you and ... her? DALI 2    Professional Dali impersonator.  I was just taking advantage of the vacuum left by her-- SOUND    DOOR OPENS, FEET ENTER DALI 3    [crying and running in] MELODY    Do not worry, Baby Dalis, we are only here to liberate you and facilitate your re-entry into society. LEONA    Like a celebrity dogpound. THEO    Wait! MELODY    What? THEO    Uh-- LEONA    Better make it truly, monumentally good. DALI 2    Way to take the pressure off. THEO    Uh, what if I were to tell you I'm a reporter for the Weekly World Bugle? MELODY    I would be forced to kill you. HARMONY    We're not yet ready to reveal our manifesto to the world. THEO    Ah.  Good thing that would have been a ruse, then, eh? LEONA    We're gonna die. THEO    But you have to ask yourself, then, how DO I know about THEM? Moment of silence MELODY    [cold] I don't have to ask anything. HARMONY    [shocked] Melody!  You know that we can't do that! [cut off] MELODY    Shh!!!  How do I even know that you know about THEM, eh? LEONA    I do not want to die at the hands of bimbos named after the bugaloos. THEO    [ominous but vague]  Do you know about the government connection? MELODY    [shocked] You know? THEO    But it's not who you think it is.  They want us to believe it's this department, or that [hinting] bureau, when ultimately... [trails off suggestively] HARMONY    He does know! THEO    The officials in question might just find themselves a little less able to sleep at night, if they knew that you knew that I know that THEY know just what's behind it all.  MELODY    Do you know the countersign? THEO    Like that incident last month.  [breaking his train] The what? LEONA    [muttered] Bugaloos. THEO    What? MELODY    [suspicious] It almost sounds like you're one of us.  Do you know the countersign? LEONA    [muttered] Benita Bizarre? THEO    Uh... Josie and the Pussycats? LEONA    [exasperated] Damn! MELODY    Welcome brother! LEONA    [impressed] Damn! MUSIC SCENE 11 AMB    DIFFERENT ROOM SOUND    STEPS MELODY    Don't speak yet. SOUND    MUSIC TURNED ON MELODY    It jams any listening device. THEO    I love this song. MELODY    It seemed fitting.  [suddenly brisk]  So.  What do you know about the cloning project? THEO    Uh... nothing specific.  We've had our eye on suspicious activity for quite some time. MELODY    Damn.  I was hoping. THEO    But-- MELODY    What? THEO    Well...  I don't think they can be actual "clones".  Don't they take years to grow?  And Baby Dali only really got famous with her song "Treehouse victim" last year. MELODY    You underestimate the cloning process.  The technology is there. THEO    Oh.  But they're not... perfect copies...? MELODY    That is the trickiest part.  They are clearly mixing DNA. THEO    Clearly? MELODY    Yes.  The squeaky one is probably mixed with that creepy chick from Poultergeist. THEO    Ri-i-ight.  And the other? MELODY    [definite] Morgan Freeman. THEO    Uh, yeah. SOUND    DOOR FLUNG OPEN HARMONY    (breathless) We've found more!  There must have been a breach at the Baby Dali containment center! THEO    Containment Center? MELODY    They had to breed them some place. THEO    Tell me, do you guys see a lot of Elvises? MELODY    How many? THEO    Thousands. MELODY    No, I mean how many Babys have we found? HARMONY    Four more, and another 8 possible sightings. THEO    That's a lot of Dalis. MUSIC SCENE 12 SOUND    DOOR OPENS, SCUFFLE SUDDENLY STOPS SOUND    FEET, DOOR SHUTS THEO    What are you doing? DALI 2    I want to take this all off and get them to let me go!  But they won't let me! LEONA    Naked?  That'll be a photo op. DALI 2    Just the makeup and wig! DALI 1    Never tarnish the illusion. THEO    Don't!  Their belief in this clone thing might be the only thing keeping us all alive. DALI 3    Besides, I can't take it off - I've had surgery. THEO    [creeped out] Oh? DALI 3    For my FACE.  Not down there.  That's probably what started all the rumors. DALI 1    I love the rumors. DALI 3    [starstruck] You do?  Really?  LEONA    Shh! SOUND    SILENCE, DOOR OPENS HARMONY    Get in there! SOUND    SEVERAL PAIRS OF FEET LEONA    More? THEO    Oh, yeah. They've been finding more of them. SOUND    DOOR SLAMS, LOCKS DALI 4    They took me right off the stage! DALI 5     I was on a date. DALI 7    Busking in the subway. DALI 8    [bad asian accent] I Baby Dorry. DALI 6    I was working a party. THEO    And no one tried to stop them from taking you? DALI 6    What could 6-year olds do? THEO    Oh. [gets it] Ohhh. DALI 9    I like your glasses.  Are those Couture? DALI 10    Knockoffs, but they're good aren't they?  I'll give you the url. LEONA    Even if one of them does get naked, I don't think it will stop them.  [up] Haven't you - no I mean you - already done that on stage?  ALL DALIS    I am a SPECTACLE! LEONA    She's done just about everything on stage except light her farts. THEO     That's it! ALL DALIS    We're vegan.  LEONA    Don't look at me. THEO    I don't mean [hinting] lighting gas... LEONA    You lost me. THEO    Have you ever seen the movie Gaslight? MUSIC SCENE 13 THEO    Hey!  You better get in here! SOUND    LOCK UNLOCKING LEONA    One more shot. SOUND    SNAPSHOT SOUND    DOOR OPENS HARMONY    [horrified] What happened?  Where's their hair? MELODY    Is she - uh, that one - dead? THEO    [strange voice] She is dying of captivity. ALL DALIS    [chanting together]  We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams. MELODY    But she's still talking. THEO    Mechanical convictions. HARMONY    I love that song. MELODY    Brother Theo, what happened? THEO    There is more at work here than you can comprehend.  I like you. LEONA    Straight from Gaslight to Star Trek.  Smooth. MELODY    What? THEO    But I hate you. HARMONY    You're mean! SOUND    SHE GOES RUNNING OFF, CRYING ALL DALIS    [CHANTING ALONG] World-losers and world forsakers, on who the pale moon gleams. THEO    Oh!  Uh-- LEONA    Don't back off. THEO    Right.  [trying to match the Dali tone] We are the Music Makers and We are the Dreamers of Dreams. LEONA    You do realize she didn't write that, don't you? MELODY    [confused] Why are you just speaking it like that, why aren't you singing? THEO    [creepy whisper] Because - we have no melody! MELODY    [disturbed] But-but I'm Melody! THEO    Are you?  Are you even here? MELODY    I - I am!  And I still have the gun - uh... [horrified] My gun?! LEONA    Plan B. SOUND    GUN COCKS LEONA    [commanding] Time to go.  THEO    Ok, we-- LEONA    Quick, before they decide on an encore. MUSIC SCENE 14 CHIEF    Good thing you got them all moving.  LEONA    We got pictures of them both with and without the wigs, and of them leaving to get on a special charter bus. THEO    They painted the name on the side really fast. LEONA    No, that's actually a company that only gives tours to Dali impersonators. THEO    Go figure.  Do they have an Elvis bus too? LEONA    Yeah.  But they get fewer drag performers. CHIEF    [reminiscent] Yeah.  They serve deep fried bananas, and spin a wheel to see which color outfit gets to sit shotgun.  [breaking out] Uh, uh - I mean, I hear they do. LEONA    [quick, changing the subject] Right.  We've got at least four stories out of this. THEO    And something for Larry. LEONA    [annoyed and horrified] What? THEO    He was in on it, too.  [sheepish] at the beginning. CHIEF    Larry?  Larry who? LEONA    From the switchboard. CHIEF    Look kid.  Being nice ain't how news gets made.  It's just a fact o' life. THEO    Well...  If we don't give him something, he might take what he DOES have and go to another paper. LEONA    You want to give him a story? THEO    [weakly] He could have the waffle house kidnapping. LEONA    [long suffering sigh] I guess.  As long as he leaves our names out of it.  You just volunteered to edit it. THEO    Okay. CHIEF    So what else do you have for me? THEO    Mass migration of dalis. LEONA    [snickering] SPARCLE. THEO    The sublimation of and abrogation of self in the gestalt identity of celebrity. LEONA    Seriously? THEO    I can spin it. CHIEF    Nice.  Big words make people believe crap like that.  Whatever it is. THEO    I meant an article on how people try and be like famous people. CHIEF    Keep the big words.  It sounds better. THEO    I'll find some experts. LEONA    [another idea] There's also that thing about whether she is a he.  Theo found out-- THEO    Uh, no. CHIEF    What do you mean? THEO    The real one wouldn't confirm or deny.  LEONA    Even when she kissed you? THEO    Yeah, well... [shrugs]  A Dali is a Dali. CHIEF    You could do something with that, you know.  On the puzzles page.  Get three of them and one fake impersonator.  LEONA    [chuckles] CHIEF    Put pictures of them all in a four box grid and stick some clues in as to which is which.  Run a little contest.  Think about it.  [commanding] In your office.  I have to call someone about flowers. THEO    [thinking back to the wedding thing] Flowers?  For? CHIEF    Truman at the Guardian when he drops dead seeing our headlines. THEO    Ohhh.  Good. LEONA    Come on. CHIEF    Eh.  Maybe I should just send that stripper. SOUND    DOOR SHUTS SOUND    THEY LEAVE - THIS FADES ACROSS THE BULLPEN LEONA    I like the puzzle idea, though we should make it 9-up, like the brady bunch. THEO    Who? LEONA    [angry growl]  Nostalgia.  Look it up. THEO    Who will be the fake impersonator? LEONA    She did say you have a nice face. THEO    NO way! LEONA    I have to take the picture. REPORTER 4    We actually already have all the Dalis we can use. REPORTER 3    No, thanks, but if you have an MJ sighting?  No? REPORTER 2    Anything else?  Photo of the prez stepping into a spaceship? REPORTER 1    Yes, yes I'll ask - can we use anything from Ringo Starr?  He's on the line and-- ALL REPORTERS    Naaaaaaaah. FADE TO END

The Popko Project
Ep 111: Brenden Starr

The Popko Project

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 10, 2022 66:36


Episode 111 of The Popko Project Podcast features singer/songwriter, Brenden Starr. Brought to you by Keller's Garden Center/Keller’s Lawn Care And Landscaping Services LLC, Ionic Development, The V-Spot Bar in Scranton, MerchBooth.com and Axelrad Screen Printing. In this episode, we talk about the release of his new song “Top of the World” which has amassed […]

Bay Curious
Intoxicating Beats: The Bay Area's African Music Scene

Bay Curious

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 10, 2022 17:54


The Bay Area has a vibrant and eclectic music scene, but when Jessica Kariisa moved here last year she couldn't find many places playing the African dance hits she loves. But African music is her passion, so Jessica went on a mission to find it. You'll definitely want to turn the volume up for this episode! Additional Reading: Finding Musical Gems in the Bay Area's African Club Scene A longer version of this story first appeared on Afropop Worldwide Your support makes KQED podcasts possible. You can show your love by going to https://kqed.org/donate/podcasts This story was reported by Jessica Kariisa. It was edited by Victoria Mauleon. Bay Curious is made by Olivia Allen-Price, Katrina Schwartz and Brendan Willard. Our Social Video Intern is Darren Tu. Additional support from Kyana Moghadam, Jen Chien, Jasmine Garnett, Carly Severn, Joe Fitzgerald Rodriguez, Jenny Pritchett and Holly Kernan.

Building Abundant Success!!© with Sabrina-Marie
Episode 2321: Tony Micale ~ of The Reflections talks Golden World Music & Motown, Dick Clark, Rock & Soul & STILL Touring! Pt.1

Building Abundant Success!!© with Sabrina-Marie

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2022 49:45


PBS, Golden World/Motown, Dick Clark Caravan of StarsSeems all of the Great Music Scene Happened before My Entrance in the World!!Tony Micale is my Guest & The Original Lead Singer of the  Reflections.  The Reflections were Golden World's most successful group. This Interview was so much Fun.!  Tony & The Reflections are still on Tour Today & thru 2023. reflections-music.comI Could Not do a Spotlight on the Music Scene without highlighting Golden World Records in Detroit, Michigan.Black Business owners the Beautiful Joanne Bratton & Businessman Ed Wingate opened The label Golden World Records in 1964. Joanne ran the Company. My Family were Business Partners with the owners. They owned Hotels, Nightclub's also. Gold World Music & Artists would eventually be acquired by Berry Gordy to become a part of Motown.The Group the Reflection's had the labels 1st Million Selling Hit " Just Lke Romeo & Juliette" The Made the cover of Record World & toured with the Dick Clark Caravan of Stars.  They played the Apollo Theater with James Brown. The Reflections achieved success purely on the strength of their well-crafted harmonies and cool professionalism.  It's no wonder that six decades later The Reflections are still heralded  as one of the finest vocal groups of The Sixties Pop and Doo-Wop Music Era.They made their movie appearance in Columbia Pictures "Winter-A-Go-Go" in 1965, performing "I'm Sweet On You". They were signed to the same Detroit R&B label as their blue-eyed soul peers, The Flaming Ember and The Shades Of Blue..Songwriter Edwin (Hatcher) Starr, The Dramatics, Carl Carlton, The Sunliners (Rare Earth), George Clinton, Sidney Barnes, Pat Lewis & many other Producers, Songwriter, Artists & Musicians  started their careers at Golden World.The Golden World studio became Motown's "Studio B", working in support of the original Motown recording studio (Studio A) at Hitsville USA. Before its purchase by Gordy, the studio's recordings often included moonlighting Motown back-up musicians, including James Jamerson on bass and George McGregor on percussion.The famous clock that hung in Golden World Records is currently owned by Melodies and Memories in Eastpointe, Michigan, and is on display there. A restored old Steinway piano that Motown inherited from Golden World is now on display at the Motown MuseumThe Reflections continued to dominate the charts with  "Shabby Little Hut", "Poor Man's Son" and "Like Columbus Did".  They are still performing today to sold out shows  and standing ovations throughout The U.S.A. and Canada. The Reflections' name is proudly displayed on the wall of  The Cleveland Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame! Reflections-Music.com© 2022 Building Abundant Success!!2022 All Rights ReservedJoin Me on ~ iHeart Radio @ https://tinyurl.com/iHeartBASJoin me on Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/yxuy23baAmazon Music ~ https://tinyurl.com/AmzBASAudacy:  https://tinyurl.com/BASAud

Danny Clinkscale: Reasonably Irreverent
Arts and Lifestyle Wednesday Presented by Healing Frequency Massage-Danny and Tim's Music Scene November 9th

Danny Clinkscale: Reasonably Irreverent

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2022 43:33


The always diverse and entertaining discussion ranges far and wide from November concerts to vintage documentaries to iconic performers. Garth Brooks, The Eagles, Thundergong, Jerry Lee Lewis, CD history, James Bond music, ticketing strategies, and much more in the mix!

All Of It
NY's Fall Folk Music Scene

All Of It

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2022 31:18


As the air gets crisper and cooler, you might be looking for a musical pairing of acoustic arrangements, clear vocal harmonies and cozy, catchy, simple familiar tunes. In other words, folk music. Folk musicians Heather Wood and Jules Peiperl, board members of the Folk Music Society of New York, discuss the New York folk music scene, and preview the best upcoming acts and standout venues in our area.

19 Nocturne Boulevard
19 Nocturne Boulevard reissue of the week: GHOST OF A CHANCE

19 Nocturne Boulevard

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2022 33:42


A girl living in a haunted house must find a way to protect her way of life.. Written and produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Eden - Jaiden Douwes Henry - Danar Hoverson Callandra - Julie Hoverson Frederick! - Reynaud LeBoeuf Ethan - Scott Douwes Mrs. Sherman - Angela Kirby Garth Sherman - Luke LeBoeuf News - Suzanne Dunn Henry's Mom - Gwendolyn Gieseke-Woodard Music by Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Sound mastering:  Julie Hoverson Cover Design:  Dennis Hager  "What kind of a place is it? Why it's an old brownstone home, can't you tell?  Where else would you expect to find ... a couple of ghosts? *************************************************************** A Ghost of a Chance   Cast: Eden Anderson, precocious 11-year old Ethan Anderson, her dead father, 47 Callandra O'Doul, dead Irish maidservant, 20 Henry Torrence, burglar, 23 Frederick Ferryman, dead actor, 40s-50s Ms. Sherman, CPS, 32 Garth Sherman, her son, a bully, 13 News [anything] OLIVIA     Did you have any trouble finding it?  What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's a big old brownstone, can't you tell?  Where else would you find a ghost or two? SCENE 1 – coming home MUSIC SOUNDS    MODERN STREET NOISE.  SOUND    WE FOLLOW THROUGH A CREAKY GATE.  STREET NOISE QUIETS A BIT.  FOOTSTEPS ON LEAVES, THEN ON WOOD PORCH.  KEY IN LOCK, DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS PASS THROUGH.   SCENE 2 – HALLWAY AND KITCHEN EDEN    Hey!  I'm home! SOUND    BACKPACK FLUNG ONTO TABLE.  DOOR SHUTS AND IS CAREFULLY LOCKED. CALLANDRA    You're going to have to do some shopping soon, miss.  We're almost out of soap powder. EDEN    [sigh] I'll put it on the list.  SOUND    FOOTSTEPS, THEY HESITATE, THEN STOP EDEN    What?  Move it.  I'm tired. CALLANDRA    [evasive] You're looking a mite peaked.  You could use a bite to eat.  Come into the kitchen and have some soup. EDEN    [slightly suspicious] O-kay...  SOUND    MODERN JAZZ, PLAYED LOW, SLIGHTLY MUFFLED EDEN    Dad's not at the videos again is he? SOUND    OPENING CUPBOARDS, CANS BEING PULLED OUT AND PLACED ON THE COUNTER CALLANDRA    [not quite convincing] No. EDEN    Then why don't you want me to go upstairs? SOUND    POP TOP ON CAN, SOUP INTO BOWL CALLANDRA    Whatever gave you that idea--? EDEN    Oh, please. CALLANDRA    Can I not just be concerned about you?  Someone has to be! SOUND    MICROWAVE OPENS, FOOD IN, SETTING TIME EDEN    I'm fine. SOUND    TURNS ON MICROWAVE MUSIC   SCENE 3 – A BIT LATER AMBIANCE    TELEVISION PLAYS LOW IN THE BACKGROUND News    ....was stolen from the J.J. Holdings museum at the university today.  The vase is attributed to the school of Cellini, and has been valued at nearly half a million dollars. SOUND    CELLPHONE DIALS, RINGS, PICKS UP EDEN    Hey Ariel.  ... Nothing.  Look, I've been thinking about-- SOUND    THUMPING ON CEILING EDEN    --trying out... for...  Can you wait a minute, Ariel? SOUND    HOLD BUTTON IS PRESSED SOUND     DOOR OPENS.  STEPS INTO FOYER, SLIGHT ECHO SOUND    THUMPING FROM ABOVE.  A COUPLE OF RAPID STEPS. SOUND    [WHOOSHING SOUND OF A GHOST ARRIVING] CALLANDRA    Oh no, miss.  EDEN    Yeah?  Stop me.  It's not dad - I can hear his computer going, and it's not you, since you're right here.  Maybe Frederick?  [yelling] Frederick? CALLANDRA    [worried] Oh... SOUND    [WHOOSHING SOUND OF A GHOST ARRIVING] FREDERICK    [overly theatrical, as always] Enter stage right.  Yeeeees?  CALLANDRA    See, it's all gone now-- SOUND    THUMPING FROM ABOVE CALLANDRA     [dismay] Ooh! EDEN    [grim] What is it? FREDERICK    Shall I make a recon, my young commander? EDEN    Oh! Shoot! SOUND    BEEP ON PHONE EDEN    Gotta call you back, Ariel.  Yeah, it's dad.  SOUND    PHONE HANGS UP EDEN    Callandra?  You want to explain-- SOUND    DOORBELL RINGS.  WHOOSH [GHOSTS LEAVING] EDEN    [exasperated sound]  Uuh! SOUND    STAMPING FEET, CHAIN LOCK GOES ON EDEN    [sighs] SOUND    DOOR OPENS EDEN    [sweetly] Yes?  SHERMAN Good evening. Are your parents around? EDEN    My father is asleep.  He hasn't been feeling very well. SHERMAN I think he'll want to speak to me. FREDERICK    [whisper]  Why?  Is she covered in chocolate? EDEN    [gritted teeth]  Maybe when he's feeling better.  Can he call you? SHERMAN Here's my card. EDEN    Oh. CALLANDRA    What's C-P-S?  Does that mean she's with the coppers? EDEN    What's this about?  I would invite you in, but-- SHERMAN No, I understand. Safety first.  [serious] There's been a complaint. EDEN    By who?  FREDERICK    [booming voice] Whom. EDEN    I mean - by whom? SHERMAN I'll discuss all that with your father. Please do have him call me.  [going off] All my info's on the card. EDEN    [calling] Thanks - uh - Ms. Sherman. SOUND    DOOR SHUTS EDEN    Oh, shoot! CALLANDRA    Now, it's not that bad.  Is it? FREDERICK    Of course it is.  CPS are the child police service.  They arrest bad little children. CALLANDRA    The devil you say!  Oh, Eden, tell me darling!  They won't arrest you! EDEN    They don't - but they do take children away from the wrong type of home environment. CALLANDRA    [relieved] Ohhh!  We're safe enough then. EDEN    [as if] Ri-ight. SOUND    THUMPING EDEN    Are you going to tell me, or do I just get to find out for myself? CALLANDRA    Oh, my stars... MUSIC   SCENE 4 - UPSTAIRS SOUND     DOOR UNLOCKS, OPENS HENRY    [gasps] Jeez!  About flipping time!  You ever hear of unlawful imprisonment? EDEN    I've heard of burglary. HENRY    You're kinda small for a cop. EDEN    [exasperated noise] Dude.  You can come out now, but just so you know, I've got a taser. SOUND    SLOW FOOTSTEPS EDEN    [gasps, shocked] You look like--! HENRY    Got my hands up, all that.  [quoting] Don't tase me, [ending lamely] uh, bro. SOUND    A COUPLE MORE STEPS, THEN HENRY    [grunt as he lunges at her] SOUND    SCUFFLE.  FALLING FURNITURE, SOMETHING BREAKS, THEN... FREDERICK    [unearthly wail] HENRY     [screams, then gibbers until noted] SOUND    SOMETHING SMALL CLATTERS TO THE FLOOR EDEN    I hate when you do that!  That is so gross!  [tsk, annoyed sigh] You coulda left your head on... FREDERICK    [huffy] It was effective. EDEN    [sigh]  You.  What's your name? HENRY    [gibbering]  ...head came off, and cold, so cold! SOUND    SLAP HENRY    [sharp intake of breath] Wha-ah-ah? EDEN    Your name, mister burglar. HENRY    Henry.  Henry Torrence.  [whispered] What the heck was that? EDEN    A ghost.  Now, Mister Torrence, I suppose I'm gonna have to tie you up or something, so you don't try and jump me again-- HENRY    Howzabout just letting me - ya know - go? EDEN    You broke in.  I have to do something, and I really don't want to have to deal with the cops - they'll bother dad. HENRY    Look, I never hurt no one, I ain't the type.  I swear! EDEN    Still...  I think you need to stay locked up for a while.  CALLANDRA    Can I keep him?  Please?  I caught him! FREDERICK    Shut up woman, we may be able to use this fellow's services. EDEN    [ordering] March!  I'll put you somewhere better than that closet, but you better stay put or - FREDERICK    Boooooo! HENRY    [gasps] EDEN    [unenthusiastically] Yeah, that.  Boo. MUSIC   SCENE 5 - DOWNSTAIRS CALLANDRA    What do you plan to do with him?  Please say I can have him for me own - he's such a fine specimen of a man. EDEN    If you keep him, I have to feed him. CALLANDRA    Well... not necessarily... EDEN    No.  No.  No.  I'm not having any more ghosts around here. CALLANDRA    You never let me have any fun! EDEN    Besides, didn't you notice the resemblance? CALLANDRA    To a man? SOUND    WHOOSH, FF ENTERS FREDERICK    Our dear Callandra never looked above his [mocking her accent] "luuuvly broad shoulders!" CALLANDRA    Bite your tongue, Frederick!  I still have those clippings of yours, and you will sorely regret having a jape at my expense-- EDEN    Shut up!  MUSIC   SCENE 6 – BREAKFAST IN BED SOUND    MORNING BIRD NOISES SOUND    MUFFLED THUMP, RATTLE AT DOORKNOB HENRY    [yawns, waking] SOUND    CHAIN RATTLES, BEDCLOTHES RUSTLE EDEN    [muffled] Are you awake? HENRY    Yeah, sure.  Whatever. SOUND    DOOR OPENS WITH DIFFICULTY SOUND     EDEN ENTERS WITH TRAY EDEN    I hope you like bacon. HENRY     Uh, yeah! [surprised and enthused] SOUND    SHIFTING AS HE SITS UP IN BED, CHAIN MOVES HENRY    Thanks.  Breakfast in bed.  Almost like a dream, except-- SOUND    RATTLE OF CHAINS CALLANDRA    [snarky] Well, we can't have you wandering around the house like some sort of ... burglar, can we? HENRY    Does she need to be here? SOUND    SETS DOWN TRAY, DISHES RATTLE EDEN    She's my backup.  I need to talk to you. HENRY    [annoyed] Go ahead.  I don't eat with my ears. SOUND    EATING NOISES EDEN    [snort of laughter]  This is going to sound really dumb, but...  [thinks hard]  I have a kind of proposition for you. HENRY    [offended] You are way too young, and she's dead. EDEN    Huh? CALLANDRA    Shame on you! HENRY    Nothing. [eats noisily] EDEN    Ew!  [angry sigh]  Look, no.  My dad is out of town, and I need someone to pretend to be him and talk to CPS. HENRY    CPS?  The CPS?  Hell no.  I hate those bast‑‑ uh-- buttheads. EDEN    Why?  You got kids? HENRY    Never mind.  No way you can talk me into-- EDEN    We'll pay you. HENRY    --into-- How much? EDEN    Dad said we could give you a thousand.  For staying here for two weeks and pretending to be him. HENRY    He's not coming home for two weeks?  [truly offended] What the hell is wrong with him, leaving you all alone? CALLANDRA    Language!! HENRY    I don't give a flying rat's patoot about my language!  If your dad is so flipping negligent to leave you all alone for weeks at a time, [losing steam] then maybe you'd be ... better off-- EDEN    [anguish] In foster care?  No way!! HENRY    Well, no, but... don't you have any other family? EDEN    [mumbled] Not anywhere around here. HENRY    [sincere] That sucks! EDEN    Look, I'm not supposed to say anything, but my dad...  He [whispers importantly] he works for the government.  Top secret. HENRY    Seriously? EDEN    Uh-huh!  So he can't always control when he'll be back. HENRY    Why would he - why would you even trust me? EDEN    You won't get paid until after the two weeks is up.  Besides... I'm a pretty good cook? HENRY    Okay, but I have to be able to tell my mom.  She'll worry if I don't get home. EDEN    You live with your mom?  But you're like a grownup.  That's weird. HENRY    Why do you think I don't have a real job?  MUSIC   SCENE 7 – MEETING CPS FREDERICK    [sharp whisper] Now you just behave now, my lad, or I'll give you what for again. HENRY    [trying to be flippant] “Boo.”  I get it.  This makeup itches.  EDEN    Sorry.  You had to look a little older.  HENRY    It is kinda creepy how I look so much like your dad. EDEN    Yeah.  [fretting] Where IS she? SOUND    KNOCK ON THE DOOR CALLANDRA    Eep! EDEN    [to the ghosts] Scat! [quiet] Ready? HENRY    Guess we'll find out. SOUND    FEET, DOOR UNLOCKS and OPENS EDEN    Hello?  Ah.  Right on time. SHERMAN Your father--? EDEN    Right here.  Come on in. HENRY    [trying too hard to sound old] Ethan Anderson.  Pleased to meet you.  You're Ms. Sherman? EDEN    [warning] Dad!  [explaining] He's had a cold. SHERMAN [warm] Ah!  I hope you're on the mend? HENRY    [clears his throat, sounds more normal]  Yes, yes.  Much better. MUSIC   SCENE 8 – WAITING IN THE KITCHEN SOUND    FLAP OF KITCHEN DOOR, FEET CALLANDRA    [very nervous] How goes it? EDEN    Seems OK, so far.  HENRY    [off, furious] What? EDEN    Oh no! SOUND    RUNS OFF, FLAP OF DOOR EDEN    [breathless] What? HENRY    [grim] Tell her. SHERMAN [sweet] My dear, um, Eden. I was just telling your father that your school has raised issues about your father's involvement-- EDEN    Why?  He emails them all the time.  They understand how busy he is. SHERMAN We still have to take it under advisement. Now, off the record, and with the understanding that you, sir, are a fairly wealthy man, I might ask why you haven't engaged a nanny or other similar household staff-- EDEN    [QUIET, prompting] DAD!    HENRY    [angry] What business is it of yours, lady? SHERMAN Perhaps you should step out and leave us alone again, dear. EDEN    No.  I may be too young for my opinion to count, but I want to hear what you plan to do to me.  We don't need anyone to look after the house.  I can do that. SHERMAN But you shouldn't have to - you are a child, dear, and you have better things to do. EDEN    Like what?  Play Xbox and get fat? MUSIC   SCENE 9 – AFTER SHE LEAVES SOUND    FRONT DOOR SHUTS, LOCKS HENRY    You have 20 million dollars? EDEN    And a half.  Not like I can spend it.  They don't trust me - that's why they call it a trust fund. HENRY    [snort] SOUND    SHE STARTS UP THE STAIRS HENRY    Hey, we're talking here. EDEN    [upset] You're only my dad while there's an audience. HENRY    [calling] Why don't you want a nanny or something? SOUND    RUNS UP THE STAIRS CALLANDRA    Poor child.  HENRY    [gasps]  Oh, right.  CALLANDRA    Pity you're not much of a father. HENRY    [offended] You're not much help, either. CALLANDRA    Oh?  And what do you expect from me?  I've been dead over a century, boyo. HENRY    How's that work, anyway? CALLANDRA    [pouty] Don't know.  Wouldn't tell you if I did. HENRY    Fine.  Whatever.  You have anything to drink around this place? CALLANDRA    [rolls eyes] Oh, yes.  That would look terrible good to Ms. Sherman, wouldn't it? HENRY    I'm going out for a while.  Don't worry - I'll sneak out the back.  I'm good at THAT. MUSIC   SCENE 10 – HENRY'S HOME SOUND    DOOR OPENS, MUSIC PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND HENRY    [sigh, then calling]  Hey mom! MOM    [bleary drunk] Baby?  That you? HENRY    [resigned] Yes, mom. MOM    Where you been?  HENRY    I gotta job, mom.  Been working. MOM    You bring me back a little something, baby?  Medicine? HENRY    [down] Tomorrow.  I promise. MOM    [sarcastic] Such a good boy.  You gon' expect me to bail you out again?  You need to get you some better friends, baby. HENRY    I'm not a baby, mom.  I'm thirty-five. MOM    You'll always be my baby, Henry, won't you?  You know how much I count on you.  How much it hurts every time you been taken away from me.  What would I do if you were in jail?  Do you ever think about that? HENRY    Yeah.  [under his breath] All the time. MUSIC   SCENE 11 – CHAT WITH DAD SOUND    COMPUTER KEYS SOUND    DOOR OPENS HENRY    Eden? EDEN    [gasps] What?  Oh!  You're back! SOUND    FOOTSTEPS HENRY    You shouldn't sit in the dark like that. EDEN    [sarcastic] Thanks dad.  [serious]  I've been chatting with my real dad. HENRY    I didn't hear anything, if that's what you're worried about. EDEN    Duh.  Computer chatting.  HENRY    Typing.  Right.  I'm not much for the whole computer thing. EDEN    That could be awkward, if Ms. Sherman decides to quiz you on what you do for a living.  Dad's a programmer. HENRY    For the government? EDEN    [scornful] No!  [realizing] Oh, I mean... uh... he's a programmer for real, but he doesn't program for them. HENRY    [suspicious] Can I type something to him? EDEN     Sure. SOUND    CHAIR SHIFTS, CLUMSY, SLOW TYPING EDEN    Is this a secret, or can I type it for you? HENRY    Yeah, go on - at this rate I'll be here all night just to say Hi.  Um... [thinking] Mister... uh ... can I call him Ethan? EDEN    [responding to dad]  All right.  He says let's turn on the microphone. SOUND    CLICK EDEN    Now you can just talk. He still has to type, though.  His mike is broken. HENRY    I don't know you, so maybe I'm not the one who should be saying this, but - here goes.  Dude, leaving your kid alone makes you a bad dad.  So what if the government needs you! EDEN    You're... serious? HENRY    Hell yeah.  You're gonna grow up robbing banks and stuff. EDEN    Hmm.  He says, just because your dad was a deadbeat, doesn't mean -- HENRY    What the hell do you think you know? EDEN    He says-- HENRY    I can see what he says.  Background check, my ass! EDEN    I told you he's a computer guy. HENRY    Fine.  You need to take care of-- EDEN    Don't tell me how to raise my daughter.  Oh, and he says "watch"-- SOUND    [some CCTV video comes on the computer] HENRY    [shocked] How did he get that? EDEN    Is that you?  Breaking into a building?  Wow.  Wait, is that the museum? HENRY    So that's your way of keeping me in line?  EDEN    Are you the one who stole the Cellini vase? HENRY    I plead the fifth.  [angry sigh] Fine.  I'll do my two weeks, and then I am the hell out of here. EDEN    [angry] Very well, you worthless wretch! HENRY    What? EDEN    [innocent] Just what he said. MUSIC   SCENE 12 – RUDE AWAKENING SOUND    POUNDING ON DOOR CALLANDRA    Mr. Anderson!!  HENRY    [sleepy] What? CALLANDRA    That woman is at the door!  HENRY    I can't answer it like this!  I don't have that old-age makeup-- CALLANDRA    Frederic! HENRY    No, no - I can do it-- SOUND    POUNDING AGAIN FREDERIC    Did I hear a cue? HENRY    No, we-- CALLANDRA    He needs to look old and ill.  And right fast. HENRY    Really, I-- FREDERIC    Hmm.  Here.  [horrible ghostly noise] HENRY    [screams] CALLANDRA    Shh! FREDERIC    Damnation.  Once that would have turned your hair quite white - as it is, you will have to wear a cap. MUSIC   SCENE 13 – CPS AGAIN SOUND    DOOR OPENS SLOWLY HENRY    [shaky] Yes? SHERMAN Took you long enough. HENRY    I was in the shower.  Nearly killed myself slipping when I came down the stairs. SHERMAN Are you going to ask me in? HENRY    You might have heard the scream. SHERMAN No. [hinting to let her in] It is rather chilly out here. HENRY    [sigh] Very well. SOUND    THEY GO IN, HE FAKES A LIMP CALLANDRA    You watch out for that one! HENRY    Shh! FREDERICK    She can't hear us unless we want her to. SHERMAN I expect Eden is at school right now? HENRY    She's a very good student. SHERMAN [disdainful] B plus. HENRY    That ain't nothing to sneeze at, lady! SOUND    SITS SHERMAN But we both know she could do better. HENRY    What makes you think that? SHERMAN You could get her tutors. HENRY    Why?  She's real smart. FREDERICK    You tell her!  But you might try using proper grammar. SHERMAN There's so many things your money could do for your daughter. HENRY    I'd rather let her be herself. CALLANDRA    Oh, that's touching, that is. SHERMAN You could send her to private school. My own son Garth is in private school. HENRY    [faltering] She has ...friends.... here. SHERMAN [hinting] A very expensive private school. HENRY    You recruiting or something?  I ain't making any decisions behind my kid's back. SHERMAN You could pay me to leave you alone. HENRY    She wants to stay --  WHAT?  CALLANDRA    Horrors! FREDERIC    Bezom! SHERMAN You must understand, Mr. Anderson, just how poorly compensated we civil servants are these days. What a completely thankless job we do. HENRY    You really just hit me up for money? SHERMAN And how particularly expensive a really good school is. HENRY    [incredulous] Money.  You're asking for money. SHERMAN Of course. HENRY    You're a skanky money-grubbing ho! FREDERIC    Filth straight from the bowels of satan's own thrice-crowned hounds of hell! SHERMAN Language! [evil nice again] You have plenty of money.  I've looked into your financials.  Not just Eden's little trust fund, but liquid assets as well.  HENRY    That's blackmail! SHERMAN Technically, it's extortion. So far.  Extortion is getting money with a threat of something yet to come. HENRY    It's still illegal. CALLANDRA    Oh, horrors! SHERMAN Blackmail, on the other hand, is getting money with the threat of revealing something from the past. Like your criminal record? HENRY    My... [confused] what? SHERMAN Mr. Anderson, I have no wish to go into detail, but do you really think I would come here with just the might of CPS behind me? HENRY    Maybe. SHERMAN No. I have something concrete on you.  HENRY    Doesn't ring a bell.  [chuckles lamely]  Criminal record?  Me?  [laughs] SHERMAN Do the words 1987 and dot com mean anything to you? HENRY    But I was just-- ["a kid", but he cuts off] SHERMAN Using an assumed name? You're very lucky no one thought to cross-reference your fingerprints before, but once they do what I did... HENRY    Oh, crap. SHERMAN I'm in no hurry. I'd be happy to take a little something up front, and then a larger payment by the end of the week, perhaps? HENRY    I'll ...see what I have lying around. MUSIC   SCENE 14 – CHAT WITH DAD SOUND    DOOR OPENS, FEET STORM IN HENRY    Is your mike on, Mr. Anderson? SOUND    COMPUTER BEEP HENRY    Good.  Cause I don't know jack about how to work these things. SOUND    COMPUTER BOOP HENRY    You heard what happened?  How? SOUND    BOOP HENRY     I didn't even notice a computer in the living room.  SOUND    BOOP HENRY    Huh?  Which button? SOUND    BOOP HENRY    No need to get snippy. SOUND     BUTTON PUSHED ETHAN    [computer generated voice]  You will go immediately to the first hill bank and trust-- HENRY    What do you mean immediately?  I gotta do grocery shopping this morning. ETHAN    Delivered. HENRY    Not for here.  for my mom. ETHAN    Get it delivered. HENRY    Hey! Mom may be an old lush, but she expects to see me from time to time. ETHAN    Bank after. HENRY    What's all this crap that witch was talking about, anyway? ETHAN    No time.  Bank today.  Take three thousand dollars-- HENRY    I can't pass for you at a damn bank!  I can't sign your name!  ETHAN     Account in your name.  Use your own I-D. HENRY    What?  In my name?  What makes you think I won't just walk off... [back on topic] Second - why three thousand?  She won't settle for just three-- ETHAN    Three thousand will pay off her car. HENRY    Damn.  You really can find out anything, can't you? MUSIC   SCENE 15 – HENRY HOME SOUND    DOOR OPENS, MOM'S HOUSE.  TV ON HENRY    I brought your groceries. MOM    Good.  Didja get any beer? HENRY    It's still in the car. MOM    Bring that in next, woudja?  That's a good boy. HENRY    [from other room, confused] Mom?  Where's my TV? MOM    Mine was ...uh...on the fritz, so I moved yours in here. HENRY    You did? MOM    I had help. HENRY    You forgot to pay, didn't you? MOM    That is no way to talk to your mother!  Besides, if you weren't gone all the time, I wouldn't have such a problem.  You know I never was good with money.  HENRY    Yeah. MOM    When did you say you'd get paid for this new job you got? MUSIC   SCENE 16 – DINNER WITH EDEN SOUND    DINNER NOISES    HENRY    You made this? EDEN    [sullen] Yeah.  HENRY    It's pretty good. EDEN    Should be.  Been cooking since I was [Callandra's accent] "just a wee thing".  [change of tone, sullen]  You were gone all day.  Again. HENRY    I came back. EDEN    Well, duh.  We're paying you to be here. HENRY    Are the ghosts joining us? EDEN    [still sullen] Frederic gets too jumpy around food, and Callandra "doesna feel tis proper." MOMENT OF SILENCE HENRY    Are you mad at me?  SOUND    THUMP - VASE ON TABLE HENRY    What the h---ay?  You going through my room? EDEN    Callandra saw you hide it.  SHE's very upset with you. CALLNDRA    [from off] Though it is a right pretty wee thing! HENRY    I had to bring it along - mom was about to use it as an ashtray. EDEN    Why do you steal? HENRY    Whoa!  That ain't polite to ask. EDEN    It isn't polite to steal. MOMENT OF SILENCE HENRY    What else am I gonna do?  Shove burgers?  I ain't even got a GED.  Without that… well… EDEN    If you're trying to convince me to stay in school, there's no point. HENRY    No way!  You gonna drop out?  Smart kid like you – you could be any darn thing you want! EDEN    Oh, please.  I already have a GED.  Or at least, I took the test – just to see, you know?  And I've taken a few college courses on the Internet.  I stay in school for the socialization.  HENRY    Huh? EDEN    I stay in school to look normal and have friends.  The work is boring as hell, but I don't want to stand out.  Do you know how hard it is to manage a B+ average? HENRY    [sarcastic] Never had that problem, myself. EDEN    [mounting upset] I have to guess on each test what the correct percentage of answers is to get wrong.  I have to dumb my writing down for essay questions.  I have to-- HENRY    Why? EDEN    Why? HENRY    Why not just say to hell with it, and let em see how smart you are? EDEN    Smart kids get noticed.  I can stand out when I'm older.  When it's safe.  MUSIC   SCENE 17 – WHERE'S DAD SOUND    COMPUTER NOISES HENRY    You need to get your butt home, dude.  Your government might need you, but your daughter needs you more. ETHAN    Not possible. HENRY    What, are you in deep cover or something?  In a foreign prison?  [slow realization]  Oh.... crap. ETHAN    We are both in crap. HENRY    No, I mean you - you're like them, aren't you? ETHAN    Define "them". HENRY    The ghosts. ETHAN    [beat] Yes. HENRY    Holy crap. ETHAN    No.  Just regular crap.  HENRY    I can't stay here forever! ETHAN    Eden needs you. HENRY    [wobbling] My mom... she needs me, too. ETHAN    Open the scanner. HENRY    What?  Oh, that.  SOUND    SCANNER NOISE ETHAN    I need your hand. MUSIC   SCENE 18 – WHERE'S MOM SOUND    SILENT HOUSE, KEY IN LOCK, DOOR OPENS HENRY    Mom, why's the TV --?  [panicky] Mom? SOUND    MOVES THROUGH, TALKING HENRY    Mom, please say you're okay.  Say something!  Hello?  Oh, jeez, what could they'a done to‑‑ [cuts off as he spots something] What? SOUND    PAPER PICKED UP HENRY    [Reading]  Hope you get this. Woulda called, but-- MOM    [continuing, guilt tripping]  --you never gave me your number at "work".  Won a cruise in a mail-in contest.  Back in a month.  "Mom."  P-S, all expenses paid - how you like them apples.  Oh, and make sure to pay the electric bill.  Want heat when I get home. HENRY    [half amused, half annoyed chuckle] Ethan, you king of all shits. MUSIC   SCENE 19 – LIKE MOTHER SOUND    OUTSIDE, DAYTIME STREET GARTH    Hey! EDEN    [suspicious]  Can I help you? GARTH    [mean chuckle] You bet. SOUND    CLICK OF CAMERA PHONE GARTH    [annoyed] Hey! EDEN    [scared, but standing her ground] If this is a mugging, I just e-mailed your picture to my dad. GARTH    He's not gonna do anything. EDEN    What makes you so sure? GARTH    My mom has him by the short hairs. EDEN    Your mom? GARTH    Sherman?  From CPS?  Ring any bells? EDEN    She went away.  Everything is fine. GARTH    Course it is.  It's fine as long as you guys play ball. EDEN    [starting to get it]  As long as we--? GARTH    Pay up.  EDEN    But that's-- GARTH    You wanna complain, go whine to your dad, he'll explain the facts of life.  For now... you got an ipod? EDEN    [starting to break] I-- GARTH    [threatening] Or should I say, do I got an ipod?  [snarl] Hand it over. SOUND    HAND OVER EDEN    [nearly in tears] There.  Choke on it, you bully! GARTH    Uh!  [shoves her] SOUND    EDEN FALLS EDEN    [gasp, trying hard not to cry] SOUND    GARTH WALKS AWAY GARTH    Hah!  She got the Bieber fever.  [nasty laugh]  Ooh!  Beyonce!  EDEN    [long sniffle] SOUND    RUNNING FEET HENRY    What happened?  Here, let me-- SOUND    SHE JUMPS UP AND THROWS HER ARMS AROUND HIM EDEN    [crying] HENRY    [nervous, not sure what to say] It's okay!  I'll handle this.  It's-- [determined, personal]  It's going to be okay. MUSIC   SCENE 20 – getting even SOUND    QUIETLY DRESSING HENRY    [whispering] It's easy to forget she's just a kid. FREDERIC    [stage whisper]  She is a most self-possessed young lady. HENRY    Shh.  She only just got to sleep. FREDERIC    And you?  Are you leaving her now, in her hour of need? HENRY    [grim] Something I gotta do. FREDERIC    In the middle of the night? SOUND    ZIPPER ZIPS FREDERIC    And dressed all in black?  I sense skullduggery! HENRY    Sense all you want, but stay quiet about it.  FREDERIC    Alas that I cannot do more than keep the light burning for your return.  HENRY    Yeah.  See you in the morning. MUSIC   SCENE 21 – SATISFACTION SOUND    LOUD BANGING ON THE FRONT DOOR, DOOR OPENS HENRY    [self satisfied] Ahh!  [yawns]  So sorry.  Long night. SHERMAN Your check bounced! HENRY    [congenial]  No, I put a stop payment on it.  Won't you come in? SHERMAN You WHAT? HENRY    I - we - aren't playing your game any more. SOUND    DOOR CREAKS OPEN A CRACK, UP CLOSE EDEN    [whispered, eavesdropping] Go, Henry! FREDERIC    I could always give her a visitation - maybe we'll get lucky and she'll keel over from the shock! EDEN    No!  He may be a butt, but I don't want you to kill some kid's mom!  CALLANDRA    They've gone into the living room! EDEN    I'll have to listen on the laptop then.  Right dad? SOUND    BEEP MUSIC   SCENE 22 – REVELATION HENRY    Would you like a soda? SHERMAN I would like an explanation. What makes you think I won't go through with turning you in? HENRY    Go ahead.  When they take my fingerprints and they don't match the ones you have on file, you'll look pretty silly. SHERMAN You - you...! HENRY    You might have noticed that I'm a bit of a computer nerd. SHERMAN Oh-ho-ho! [getting composure back]  You may have changed the prints on the system,  But you can't get into my backups. HENRY    Call my bluff. SHERMAN Very well-- HENRY    BUT-- SOUND    MOMENT OF AWKWARD PAUSE SHERMAN [worried] What? HENRY    I'm afraid you have a problem of your own. SHERMAN I have a what? Are you trying to blackmail me?  I am very careful. HENRY    About your money stuff, yeah - I'm sure you are.  This is something else.  A vase. SHERMAN A what? HENRY    Have you read the papers recently?  The museum? SHERMAN The Cellini Vase? HENRY    Yeah, that thing. SHERMAN What does that have to do with me? HENRY    It's in your house. MUSIC   SCENE 23 – FINALE EDEN    What if she finds it? HENRY    What's she gonna do with it?  She don't know no fences. CALLANDRA    Or any place to sell it either. EDEN    She might give it back? FREDERIC    And try to explain how she happened to come by such a fugitive object?  Hah! HENRY    Hah is right. EDEN    [down] So I guess this means you're gonna go now.  I mean now that it's all clear. HENRY    I guess. EDEN    Would you stay?  I mean, if you could? HENRY    I'd like to but.... I dunno.  My mom-- SOUND    BEEP ETHAN    [computer voice] Was lucky and got an apartment in a new full-service assisted living community. HENRY    What?  You can't just-- ETHAN    Try and get her out.  They have KeNo every Thursday. HENRY    [annoyed but thinking] Hmm..... Does she get to have a nice TV? ETHAN    No. HENRY    What?  How can you--? ETHAN    You will bring one to her.  EDEN    Clever. FREDERIC    Brilliant! CALLANDRA    [sniffling] Touching. HENRY    Gotcha.  And what about me? EDEN    I have four more years before I can technically be emancipated.  If you're willing to be my dad til then, we'll-- ETHAN    Pay you one hundred thousand per year. HENRY    [dubious] That's pretty good.  Hmm...  Four years. EDEN    Well, what do you want, then? HENRY    Four years sounds like a heckuva lot like college. EDEN    I'm still too young. HENRY    Nah... I was thinking... you know... [quiet] For me.  [up] But only if you'll help me get my GED and stuff. EDEN    I bet I could be a really good tutor! MUSIC    END

EP Culture Beat Podcast: Music, Art & You
Episode 129: The Return of Melt Citizen! (El Paso Music Scene)

EP Culture Beat Podcast: Music, Art & You

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2022 41:20


This episode of THE Underground Source of El Paso, TX features local rock and roller - the prolific, terrific, decibel bustin' Melt Citizen! We mainy discuss his new 10 track album "Joylessness" while fending off mosquitoes at Thomas Manor Park - includes bonus horror movie chat towards the end! Enjoy boils and ghouls! Follow Melt Citizen on Instagram - @meltcitizen - and hit the link in the bio! This episode produced by M. De Santiago and G. Armendariz. Edited and Hosted by M. De Santiago. Intro/outro music by Melt Citizen. Intro song: "Even When I Can't Think, I Think of You" Outro song clip: "Some Kind of Indifference" - both taken from Melt Citizen's "Joylessness" album. Cover photograph by YouKnowWho. RATED CHLL.

Africa Daily
Why has Lesotho's Famo music scene become deadly?

Africa Daily

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2022 12:50


Famo is often described as Lesotho's “traditional music” and is the country's leading music genre. In recent times, rivalry among Famo artistes has led to bloodshed. Some music experts say this recent behaviour mirrors some of the US hip hop rivaly in the 1990s; the so-called East Coast v West Coast beef. Many Famo artists are divided into two warring factions, Terene and Seakhi. Terene members are known for draping their distinct yellow traditional blankets over their shoulders. Those who belong to Seakhi, prefer blue and black blankets. The two have been clashing for years, leading to the deaths of dozens of people. But what's behind the battles? Alan Kasujja speaks to Famo's experts and local musicians.

Danny Clinkscale: Reasonably Irreverent
Arts and Lifestyle Wednesday Presented by Healing Frequency Massage-Danny and Tim's Music Scene October 26th

Danny Clinkscale: Reasonably Irreverent

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2022 39:02


Another delicious dive into shows big and small, anniversaries, reflections, and opinions. Lizzo, Taylor Swift, Brandi Carlile, The Traveling Wilburys, Lynard Skynard, merch, and more in the musical mix!

The California Report Magazine
Exploring the Bay Area's African Music Scene; Remembering Art Laboe

The California Report Magazine

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2022 29:44


Reporter Jessica Kariisa is Ugandan American, and she's spent years listening to and writing about African pop music. When she moved to the Bay Area, she wasn't sure what she'd find in terms of an African music scene. Gentrification and the rising cost of living have pushed many Black communities out of cities in the Bay Area and beyond. But, after doing some digging, Jessica discovered an African music scene that's thriving.  And we pay tribute to the first DJ to play rock and roll on the West Coast. Art Laboe cultivated a devoted fan base over his nearly 80 years on the air. He trademarked the term “oldies but goodies,” and claimed to have invented the on-air dedication, where lovers send songs to each other over the airwaves. Laboe died earlier this month at age 97. We reprise host Sasha Khokha's interview with him from 2019.

19 Nocturne Boulevard
19 Nocturne Boulevard reissue of the week: THE PERFECT PIGEON

19 Nocturne Boulevard

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2022 25:15


A classic-style caper, chock-a-block with art theft, swindling, and romance! Written and produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Algernon Winthrop - Will Watt Bartholomew Hetheredge - Glen Hallstrom Harriet Carter-Nelson - Julie Hoverson Attendant - Russell Gold Music by Laché Swing  (Free Music Archive) Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson Cover Design:  Julie Hoverson     (in the style of the Dell Mapback mystery covers)     with help from Steve Guy "What kind of a place is it? Why it's a gentleman's club in the 1930s, can't you tell?" *********************************************************************** THE PERFECT PIGEON Cast: Announcer Algernon Winthrop, a young gentleman whose profession is art broker - with a secret life as a gentleman thief Harriet Carter-Nelson, country heiress, who has inherited some paintings Bartholomew Heatheredge, elder bachelor, friend and confidante of Algernon Butler, discreet and very well trained       THE PERFECT PIGEON MUSIC TO OPEN - LIGHT 1930s JAZZ OLIVIA    What do you mean what kind of place is it?  Why it's a private room in a proper Gentleman's Club in London in the 1930s - can't you tell? MUSIC SCENE 1    THE CLUB ROOM SOUND     RADIO PLAYS JAZZ IN ANOTHER ROOM ALGY    Bartholomew, old man - believe it or not, I've been HAD. BART    [mock incredulous] Algernon Winthrop the third?  "Had"?  Hold on, shh!  [beat]  No, no... I don't think I hear the trumpet hailing the end of all things, so how could You possibly-- ALGY    Hush!  Do you want to hear the story or not? BART    [teasing] I dunno - do I? ALGY    You're the only one I can tell, so I expect you can guess what this is in regards to. BART    [knowing smirk] "Art"? ALGY    Yes.  I was approached last Wednesday week by [wistful] a vision of loveliness-- BART    Male or Female? ALGY    Female, of course!  You know which direction my loveliness runs.  A trim auburn lass with a back like she'd been born on a horse. BART    There is something to be said for centaurs. ALGY    She said she had been referred to me as a leading authority on certain kinds of paintings. BART    [chuckles expectantly] A-ha! ALGY    Well, I am!  And I have the advantage of being outside the normal rope and cap mobs.  BART    Someone with no affiliation to bat for. ALGY    Correct.  [sigh]  She invited me to her country estate, and how could I refuse?  There are untold treasures hidden in mouldering attics throughout the land! BART    Better you than me.  I loathe the country. ALGY    You loathe anything beyond a ten minute walk from this club. BART    Very true.  [arch]  Oh, you've reminded me, we're in a club.  That means there is hot and cold running alcohol to hand.  Shall we? ALGY    I'll stick to a weak Gin and Tonic, if you don't mind.  I may have ...work... to do later. BART    Oh-ho!! SOUND    GENTLE BELL RINGS, GENTLE DOOR OPENS BUTLER    Sir? BART    Drinks, please.  G and T, heavy on the T, and some of that port I'm so fond of. BUTLER    Excellent selections, sir. SOUND    DOOR CLOSES ALGY    [chuckling] He'd say that regardless of what you asked for. BART    True, but he would say it with a subtle sneer in his voice.  Frankly, I can't remember the vintage of the port in question... but apparently he does. ALGY    Indispensible.  BART    I know you won't recount anything juicy until he returns, so tell me more about this girl? ALGY    Harriet Carter-Nelson.  Last heir of some family or other.  Was left the only house not entailed to a distant chinless wonder.  Took possession, found it rather a crumbling heap, but discovered there were some potentially salable items hidden about the place. BART    Items in the "canvas" line, I assume? ALGY    Precisely. SOUND    TAP AT THE DOOR BART    Come in. SOUND    BUTLER ENTERS, PUTS DOWN DRINKS, LEAVES ALGY    [sips]  Perfect.  Gem of a man. BART    Can't remember his name any more than the vintage, but I do try and appreciate him whenever I have the chance. ALGY    Appreciate him a bit for me, too, would you? BART    Certainly.  [drinks] Now, the canvasses. ALGY    After an hour or so of driving - the place was halfway to Inverness - I came upon a stark silhouette set against a striking sunset.  BART    You paint such pictures with your words. ALGY    I suppose an eye is an eye, for all that.  Checking the coordinates, I discovered I had arrived.  More striking still was the vision of loveliness that greeted me at the door. BART    NOT a butler, then? ALGY    No.  There was some sort of staff about, but she was expecting me, and made certain to be ready upon my arrival. BART    Curiouser and curiouser - a woman who doesn't make one wait an half hour for her entrance?  I like her already. ALGY    [rueful] As do I.  She lacks that sheen of plasticine that so many women don the moment they "come out" and never seem to take off again.  Everything about her seemed so natural.  So genuine.  MUSIC TRANSITION   SCENE 2    OUTSIDE THE HOUSE SOUND    FROGS, NIGHT NOISES HARRIET    I'm so pleased you found it!  Come in, come in!  Oh, no wait - sorry.  You should turn your car around before the light goes.  Some of the ground is boggy and it's quite treacherous in the dark. ALGY    I'll be perfectly fine. HARRIET     [mock sigh] Your funeral.  Come along. SOUND    FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL THEN WOOD, DOOR SHUTS ALGY    I didn't realize there was any civilization this far into the hinterlands. HARRIET     Oh, there isn't.  Not really.  But I love it out here.  The country is so beautiful - nine weeks out of the year.  Between mold season and mosquito season.  ALGY    [laughs]  BART    [Voice Over] Enough with the flirting - tell me about the paintings. ALGY    [VO] Give me a moment to wallow in our collective wit, won't you? BART    [VO] One more moment, then.  Proceed. HARRIET     There's a set of rooms that's quite liveable, and a few larger enclosed spaces that might pass for human habitation.  [drops the banter]  I'm hoping - truly - that some of the paintings will be worth enough that I can sell them and [loving] rescue the poor house.  [clipped again] You did say you have contacts and know people who might be looking to buy? ALGY    I shall do the best for you that I can. ALGY    [VO] And I would.  Whatever my other interests are, once I give my word, I always keep it. BART    [VO] Particularly to such a lovely young thing, eh, wot? HARRIET     It's very kind of you. ALGY    Well, I do expect to make some little commission on it, of course. HARRIET     Of course.  Right through here. MUSIC   SCENE 3    THE CLUB ROOM SOUND    ALGY DRINKS ALGY    [disgusted sigh] and it was ... tragic. BART    Strong word. ALGY    Strong feeling.  The room she took me into was hung with a dozen limp landscapes. BART    Limp? ALGY    Oh, you know the type "Aunt so-and so painted this in 1860 on the French Riveria". Or "Grandmama was always well regarded for her eye for beauty". BART    Good night.  And after such a long drive! ALGY    And watching that look of hope slide off her dainty face.  The light going out in her hazel eyes. MUSIC   SCENE 4    INSIDE THE HOUSE SOUND    SLIGHT CREAKS WHEN THEY WALK HARRIET     That bad? ALGY    I may be able to get you an odd bob or so - perhaps from an American.  Not more. HARRIET     Oh.  ALGY    It happens to the best of us. ALGY    [VO] She turned away, and the line of her shoulders spoke volumes. BART    [VO] Reading her shoulders?  On a first date? [chuckles] ALGY    I-I-- Perhaps I should... go? HARRIET     No.  [coming to a decision, almost teary]  I... Can I trust you? ALGY    Goodness, would anyone say no to that? HARRIET     [burst of laughter]  Goodness be blowed!  I'm going to take a chance.  People have said good things about you.  Come along. SOUND    WALKING, CREAKING, UNDER VO ALGY    [VO] She took me deep into the bowels of the house, into some sort of secret room.  I watched closely as she tweaked various odds and sods on a rococo mantlepiece, and a panel slid open. SOUND    CREAK AS PANEL SHIFTS SOUND    HOLLOW MOANING WIND HARRIET     There's a family ghost, but it's benign. ALGY    Spirits have never bothered me. ALGY    [VO] And in this room - by gad! BART    [VO] Yes? ALGY    [VO] Arrayed around the walls were a good dozen of what looked like genuine Old masters.  Undiscovered, possibly unknown. BART    [VO] Real?  ALGY    Real? HARRIET    Yes, but.  Problematic. ALGY    How so? HARRIET    Apparently, according to unverifiable family lore, one of our ancestors was quite the notorious bandit. ALGY    Bandit? HARRIET    Highwayman, I believe they called the titled ones.  He raided everything within a week's ride, they say, and stashed most of the boodle here.  Everything that could be sold easily, went long ago.  Gold, jewels, things like that. ALGY    Well, if they were stolen so long ago, I doubt there would be any debate as to the ownership. HARRIET    [very doubtful] Oh... I'm sure. It's just... ALGY    Yes? HARRIET    [pitiable]  There's no money.  Not a sou.  I can't possibly defend even the slightest case.  A solitary whisper of doubt, and I'll lose everything. ALGY    I see. HARRIET    And without concrete provenance, there's no legitimate way I can sell even one of these.  Tragic, isn't it? ALGY    There are plenty of people who would buy, provenance or no.  You might not get full measure, but that all depends on your patience and negotiating talent. HARRIET    [exasperated] Buyers there may be, but I wouldn't know where to find them!  ALGY    I would. HARRIET    [still fuming, not hearing him immediately] And even if I did, I wouldn't know the first thing to say-- [breaks off, realizing] What? ALGY    I know all the right people.  If you can trust me with any one of those, I'll get you top dollar. HARRIET    But why would you help me?  And how can I possibly trust you? ALGY    Oh, I'll take my standard commission, of course.  And I'll play you fair on the first one, if for no other reason than in hope that you'll let me take on the rest. HARRET    [worried musing] It's a big step.  The mere thought of letting them out of my sight terrifies me.  It's not as if I have insurance or anything.  If the worst should happen - I'd be lost. ALGY    If I could, I would buy one outright from you - at a discount, you understand - and hazard a chance I could make a profit.  But these are far out of my range, unless I were to insult you by offering a pittance. HARRIET    A pittance would at least keep body and soul together until you were able to sell it.  Could you - manage something in a down payment?  Even just call it an assurance - we could write up a contract and everything! ALGY    Oh, I don't think we need go that far.  But I could advance you something, if you don't mind waiting a day or two.  HARRIET    [musing] Let's see - a day or two for you to get back, then I have to arrange a lift into the city, to get to the bank, and back.... ALGY    [amused] Are you hinting that you would prefer cash? HARRIET    Am I that transparent?  [sweetly]  I used to be quite a good liar, I'm told, but desperation does wear one's nerve a bit thin.  And the local shops no longer honor this house with credit. ALGY    I could manage, say, a thousand pounds assurance.  If you'll let me take that small one. HARRIET    A thousand?  You think this is worth so much? ALGY    Ten times that, at least.  HARRIET    My hero!  I'll have it crated and ready for transport when you return, will that be all right? ALGY    Certainly. MUSIC   SCENE 5    THE CLUB ROOM BART    You didn't. ALGY    I did. BART    And which one of the limp landscapes did you purchase for a thousand pounds? ALGY    [sigh] A rather dreadful view of some lighthouse that's slightly off plumb. BART    [laughs heartily]  And what do you plan to do about it? ALGY    What do you think? BART    Can you find your way back in again? ALGY    I believe so.  I truly would have played fair with her, but... BART    What can she expect?  Swindling a notorious art thief like "The Badger"? MUSIC - TIME PASSES   SCENE 6    THE CLUB ROOM - NEXT DAY SOUND    DOOR OPENS ALGY    [entering melodramatically]  Oh, Bart!  Bart, my old chum!  All is lost! SOUND    DOOR SHUTS BART    Sit, dear boy.  Sit and tell!  Is this your enchanting titian-haired siren? ALGY    Enchanting!  Enchantress is more like it! BART    Why?  Don't tell me you couldn't get back into her secret painting room? ALGY    [chortles sarcastically] Oh-ho-ho.  It's far worse than that. BART    Ah.  Good thing I laid on some rather strong liquor when I got your cable.  Drink up. ALGY    [drinks]  There's really not much to tell. BART    I hope you have more than that!  This is expensive stuff! ALGY    I got into the house.  Even managed to find the right combination of whorls on the carving - she'd pushed a number of extra thingumees, did I mention that? BART    So she knew you were watching? ALGY    [sighing admission] Yes.  She's frightfully brilliant. BART    Let me get this straight - this charming chit of a girl has fooled you twice, and yet you still admire her? ALGY    I admire her because she has fooled me twice. BART    And her loveliness has nothing to do with it? ALGY    Well... [smiling] it certainly doesn't hurt. BART    [beat] So... you got into the room. ALGY    Yes.  Yes.  I got in.  BART    [exasperated] And? ALGY    Every one of the frames that I had so closely examined not two weeks before was filled... with landscapes! BART    THE landscapes? ALGY    For all I know she has an infinite supply of the blasted things!  [sudden realization] By Jove! BART    What? ALGY    I can't believe it never occurred to me before - what if I'm not the first? BART    Whatever do you mean? ALGY    What if this little minx has pulled this same trick on other so-called art dealers? BART    [chuckles]  Are you outraged at her daring, or because she didn't pick you first? ALGY    There she was, dressed in plain homespun, crying infinite poverty, when she may have just held up half the crooked daub handlers in Piccadilly! BART    I can see why you admire her. ALGY    The beast! BART    I can't wait to meet her. ALGY    Wretch! BART    You'll have to bring her around sometime. ALGY    What? BART    Well, you are going to see her again, aren't you? ALGY    You old dog.  You know everything.  [beat]  She should be here any minute. BART    Then I expect it's a good thing I've dropped a word here and there about a niece who might be coming into town any day now, isn't it? ALGY    I don't know why I even try-- SOUND    KNOCK AT DOOR BART    Yes? SOUND    DOOR OPENS, BUTLER ENTERS BUTLER    Sir, there is a young lady here to see mister Algernon Winthrop.  I told her merely that I would inquire...? BART    Proper, as always.  Don't give her any definite answer, there's a good chap, but bring her on up.  BUTLER    [slightly miffed]  Very good, sir. SOUND    DOOR CLOSES BART    That.  That is definitely the sound he would make if I placed an order for anything substandard. ALGY    I say, Bart, hide me, would you? BART    What and leave your young lady entirely in my clutches? ALGY    I know you'll get something out of her, and all the more if she doesn't realize I'm here.  BART    [indulgent] That door there.  It has a lovely large keyhole, and a connection to the corridor.  I'll ferret out whatever she's hiding.  You'll get your hands on those paintings yet. ALGY    Oh, I already have plans for that.  BART    Oh?  What--? SOUND    KNOCK ON DOOR. SOUND    SCRAMBLE AS ALGY HIDES SOUND    HIS DOOR QUIETLY CREAKS SHUT BART    [calling] Come in. SOUND    HER DOOR OPENS SOUND    BART POURS DRINK BUTLER    [introductions]  Miss Harriet Carter-Nelson.  Mister Bartholomew Heatheredge. SOUND    FOOTSTEPS, DOOR SHUTS [NOTE:  from this point until she "overplays her hand", BART and ALGY are pulling a con on Harriet to get her to trade back the painting] BART    [suddenly stern]  Please have a seat, Miss Carter-Nelson.  I pray you won't take offense at my not rising, but my gout has been simply murder this past week. HARRIET    [uncertain]  But... I was invited here by Mister Winthrop? BART    I have sent him on some trifling errand, in hopes that we might finish our business without his interference.  HARRIET    Business? BART    Poor Algy has a lamentably sentimental nature when it comes to these things. HARRIET    Pray enlighten me of "these things" that you are speaking of? BART    I assume you will not be adverse to endorsing this. SOUND    PAPER PRODUCED WITH A FLOURISH HARRIET    What is it?  [almost a laugh] A bill of sale?  For-- BART    The painting currently in Mr. Winthrop's possession. HARRIET    But it's-- BART    Practically worthless?  Nonetheless, Mr. Winthrop requests that you make it over to him in its entirety, in return for monies which have already changed hands - to wit, one thousand pounds. HARRIET    Why should he want to claim ownership of the silly thing? BART    [fraught with ominous meaning] Why indeed.  [brisk] All you need concern yourself with is your signature on that document, placing the item into legal custody of my client. HARRIET    Client? BART    Did he fail to mention that I am his family solicitor? HARRIET    [worried]  Solicitor.  Yes, I believe he overlooked that. BART    Come, come.  He won't be gone all day. HARRIET    No.  I would like to hear the reason for this. BART    [furious] Miss Carter-Nelson!  I am not here to give explanations, merely to get one of two outcomes from you - and while my preference would be for you to regain your painting, and my client his money, that is undoubtedly out of the question.  Should the need arise, I am also prepared to begin legal proceedings. HARRIET    [gasp] SOUND    KNOCK ALGY    [outside] I say, Bart, have you got someone in there? BART    Drat. HARRIET    [musing] Lamentably sentimental, you say? BART    Mister Winthrop, perhaps you would-- HARRIET    [loud, over him, cheery] Come in! SOUND    DOOR OPENS, ALGY ENTERS ALGY    Good gracious!  Are you keeping secrets from me, old man? BART    I am merely trying to legitimize the transaction that passed between you two-- HARRIET    [flirty] He's trying to get me to sign over all ownership of that painting. ALGY    Oh!  Good job.  Go on. HARRIET    You... you actually WANT it? ALGY    [hinting] It's not a matter of what I want-- BART    [cutting him off]  AHEM.  It's a matter of making the entire situation clear and above board.  The painting has more than been compensated for.  HARRIET    [suspicious] What do you plan to do with it? BART    [rising irritation] That is none of your concern!  The only thing that needs to happen here and now is for you to transfer title or return my client's deposit. HARRIET    This is hardly fair.  I should need to consult a solicitor as well - see to it that this bill of sale is proper and aboveboard! BART    You're right, of course.  If you will give me the name of your solicitor, I can contact him directly.  [muttered]  Probably best to have him on hand, regardless, just in case Mr. Winthrop decides to take my advice as to... legal action. HARRIET    Mr. Winthrop, I just want to-- ALGY    You can call me Algernon, if you like, Miss Carter-Nelson. HARRIET    [hesitant, confused]  Algernon.  Very well, but I-- ALGY    And perhaps I might be allowed to call you Harriet? HARRIET    [a bit wry]  Will it help convince you this does not require legal action if we are on a first name basis? ALGY    [laughs]  Perhaps. HARRIET    [slightly wheedling] Will it help convince you to let me in on the big secret about the... uh... painting in question?  ALGY    Oh, that.  It's really quite simple-- BART    Ahem. ALGY    [fatuous] Hush, Barty. I know how to handle women. BART    AHEM! ALGY    Shall I ring and have someone bring you a lozenge?  No?  Very well.  [confidential, pleased]  Now Harriet.  I can take a joke as well as the next fellow.  Don't you agree? HARRIET    You've been a pip. ALGY    And I'm sure you feel that perhaps I've only got what I deserve, as I may very well have been on the verge of stealing your lovely old master, or at the very least short-changing such a poor but lovely young heiress. HARRIET    You would be surprised how many might consider such dastardly deeds, given our relative positions. ALGY    [annoyed] How many?  [smooth again]  Well, I can assure you that I would have played fair with you - and got you the best possible deal--   BART    That is all moot.  Why don't you just null the entire transaction and give the painting back.  The colonel-- [catching himself in a mistake] I mean, the person in question - ahem - has stated a clear unwillingness to own any piece of dubious origin. ALGY    A-HEM. HARRIET    [musing] A Colonel? ALGY    I suppose you must have realized by now that I have a potential buyer for the painting, and that I will be making back - mm - more than my thousand.  HARRIET    For that drab thing? ALGY    Some pieces sell on merit, others on sentiment.  The best salesmen are those who find the right customers. HARRIET    How much? BART    As far as you are concerned, it is one thousand pounds, already paid, and an agreement on my client's part not to litigate for false pretenses. HARRIET    No, really, [very warm] Algernon.  How much? ALGY    [melting] I've been offered five thousand, but only with a clear title. HARRIET    [shock] Five? For Great Aunt Ermintrude's "Impressions of a Baltic Lighthouse?" BART    [muttered] A leaning Baltic lighthouse. ALGY    [annoyed]  A Baltic lighthouse a certain colonel recognizes as a place near where he was once stationed in his youth.  A place he used to meet his one true love. HARRIET    [amazed]  Truly? ALGY    So he says, and I was of no mind to disabuse him. HARRIET    Suddenly I have been hit with a terrible guilt complex about having taken such foul advantage of you.  ALGY    Oh really? HARRIET    Such a sentimental streak - I never would have suspected it. ALGY    I hide it well. BART    [snort of laughter turned into cough] HARRIET    I think the best way to handle this is to give you your money back and call it all even. ALGY    Oh, really? HARRIET    Yes.  And, just to show what a good sport I am, I'd - I'd like to make a present of the silly thing to your friend -um- colonel, uh...?  [hinting] ALGY    [breaks down laughing] BART    I fear you've overplayed your hand, young lady. HARRIET    I?  Whatever do you mean? ALGY    You are adorable. HARRIET    [offended] You make it sound as if I was a puppy! ALGY    [still trying to stop laughing] No, no, no.  You are far cleverer than any puppy. HARRIET    I should hope so.  [huff]  I think this is where I should take my leave. ALGY    [suddenly sober]  No.  HARRIET    [wary]  Why? ALGY    There's still the matter of my money. HARRIET    Get it from your colonel! SOUND    A BIT OF A SCUFFLE AS HE STOPS HER FROM LEAVING BART    Here now!  Here now!  I will not have this!  Sit down, both of you! SOUND    THEY BREAK APART WITH A GASP BART    I said sit!  SOUND    CHAIR NOISES SOUND    DRINKS POURED BART    I have the perfect answer to this dilemma, if you will just be quiet and listen. ALGY    He probably does.  He's very clever. HARRIET    I think you both find yourselves too clever by half. ALGY    You fit in quite nicely, then, don't you? BART    How odd.  I distinctly recall-- Did I not say to be quiet?  ALGY    [teasing] We'll be good, papa. HARRIET    Are you planning to mete out justice like old king Solomon? BART    Do you want half a painting?  [beat]  Good.  Now.  The way I see it, your problem, Miss Carter-Nelson, is you wish to preserve your home, and are going about it in this rather nefarious manner.  HARRIET    Well... BART    This is no time for prevarication, miss --Harriet. HARRIET    I am using what little I have to save my home.  Yes.  BART    Very well. HARRIET    And if I happen to take slight advantage over those who otherwise would have taken similar advantage of me-- ALGY    I already told you, Harriet darling, I would never have-- HARRIET    But I couldn't know that, could I? BART    Hush!  [beat]  I swear you bicker like-- well, we'll leave that for the moment.  [chuckles]  And your problem, dear boy, is you would love to get your hands on the lovely old masters this young woman consorts with. HARRIET    [amused] You make it sound quite filthy! ALGY    [quiet] Not the only thing.  [up] Yes.  I would love to be the one to discover such lovely pieces and be able to find them good homes.  Even legitimate ones. BART    Oh, well then - the answer is simple. HARRIET    Oh?  Really? BART    You two should marry. HARRIET    [startled, outraged] What? ALGY    Capital idea.  Was thinking something along those lines myself. HARRIET    oh!  [indignant gasp]  Here! SOUND    PURSE CLICKS OPEN, COUNT OUT MONEY HARRIET    Here is your blasted thousand pounds. SOUND    MONEY TOSSED ON TABLE SOUND    PURSE SNAPPED SHUT HARRIET    [huff] Good day! SOUND    SHE LEAVES, SLAMMING THE DOOR BART    [chuckle] She suits you.  ALGY    [confident] Just a matter of time. BART    Make sure to send along some of the wedding cake, there's a good chap.  THE END ANNOUNCER    [credits]