Reframing our Stories: The Podcast

In this episode Kara shares some new changes within Reframing our Stories. She also shares a bit of what she has been learning and some exciting news for the future. Kara also invites you to share some of your own stories for future episodes in the next coming months.  Remember to follow Reframing our Stories on Instagram @reframingourstories for new information for the show and to access the form to become a storytelling. Please also visit the website at www.reframingourstories.com to subscribe to her newsletter for information on shows, resources, upcoming workshops, and tools to help you reframe your own story around sexuality and relationships.  Please share the show with others and leave a review! 

In this timely episode relating to conversations in the United States, Kara speaks with Danielle Tumminio Hansen, author of Speaking of Rape: The Limits of Language in Sexual Violence.  RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization) notes that every 68 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. Kara and Danielle speak to their experiences around sexual assault and how it looked different from what they had learned, leading to confusion for both of them. In their conversation, Danielle explains how her book spells out why there is confusion on what constitutes sexual violence and how this continues to harm us.  Danielle Tumminio Hansen is an Associate Professor of Practical Theology and Spiritual Care at Emory University. She's the author of several books, and her articles have been featured on national and international news outlets, including CNN and The Guardian. She's also an ordained Episcopal priest. www.danielletumminiohansen.com www.instagram.com/drdanielleethansen www.facebook.com/danielle.tumminio www.rainn.org

We keep learning more and more about the brain and how it can change with us and create new pathways. Kara got to totally geek out talking with Stefanie Faye about her favorite subject, the brain. They discuss how the brain chemically bonds us, the way we can hijack our own brain, how mistakes can help us grow with intention, and ways to regulate ourselves. Stefanie has a wealth of information and this episode is not one to miss. Stefanie Faye is a neuroscience specialist with expertise in optimizing learning, performance, attentional control, cognitive flexibility, neurodiverse challenges and emotion regulation using biofeedback, cognitive training and frameworks that integrate childhood experiences and family systems. Her graduate degree from New York University and fieldwork at the NYU Institute for Prevention Science focused on neuroplasticity, empathy and emotion regulation. She has worked as a school and family counselor, cognitive trainer, reading therapist, research analyst, coordinator of learning programs, and has analyzed many physiological aspects of nervous system states and brain functioning including electric conductance of the skin (GSR), facial electromyography (EMG), heart rate variability and quantitative electroencephalography (QEEG). She integrates all of this with her experience training in monasteries with meditation masters from Vietnam, India and West Africa. She currently runs the Neuro-Coach program, helping coaches and consultants integrate neuroscience into their programs. stefaniefaye.com instagram.com/stefanieffaye youtube.com/watch?v=Ix8o9EiDD3E

In this podcast, Kara had the opportunity to interview a man who reframed her story as a youth, her youth minister Ken Grant. While Kara was a teenager in the 90s when youth groups were all the rage and the purity movement was in full swing, she considers herself lucky. Though she was influenced by the purity culture, she never got the message from her youth minister that she needed to be demure. Instead, he encouraged her to lead and use her voice. This was the first time Kara has spoken to Ken since she was 18 and was able to express to him what he meant to her. Listen as they discuss topics including leadership, what Christianity is today, social media, race and white privilege. Ken spent time teaching religion in high schools and universities, and has worked full time as a dad and in youth ministry. Ken was born and raised in small-town southeast Wisconsin, the sixth of seven children. After graduating from Ripon College and the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Gettysburg where Ken met and married his wife Denise. Through moves to North Dakota, Michigan, Indiana, Texas and back to Michigan, Ken and Denise raised their family and served in the church. Ken has his PhD from the Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago in History, served as a supply pastor, and in 2020 became an ordained pastor for the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America and works as the head pastor at Genesis Lutheran Church in Detroit, MI. 

There is so much packed into this little episode with Shannon Savage- Howie. We start this interview by acknowledging mid-life and perimenopause. Shannon experienced so many unanswered questions related to her health that later was diagnosed as an autoimmune disease that technically “didn't fit.” She was so frustrated but experienced a calm when talking with other women who experienced the same thing. Shannon is a contemplative coach and spiritual director and discovered that many people are unsettled with not knowing, but when listened to and are invited into a space where they feel cared for are able to acknowledge what they really need. This episode takes us through this journey of the mysteries of mid-life, the need for women to be heard, and to know the power of listening.    Shannon Savage-Howie, a certified spiritual director and contemplative coach, has dedicated over two decades to guiding individuals through profound journeys of self-discovery and spiritual growth. With a nurturing and empathetic approach, she creates a sacred space where people can explore their deepest questions, find grounding practices, and align their lives with their core beliefs and values. Having embarked on her own spiritual quest filled with twists and turns, Shannon deeply understands the diversity of human experiences and belief systems. Her extensive background includes storytelling for community healing, and invaluable experience in addiction treatment settings, where she has honed her skills in supporting individuals of all ages and genders. In addition to her professional pursuits, Shannon has embarked on a deeply personal journey navigating an autoimmune diagnosis and exploring the complexities of female health in mid-life. This journey has imbued her with a profound understanding of resilience, self-care, and the intersection of physical and spiritual well-being.  Shannon shares her life with her husband, who travels the world working in the entertainment industry, and their three vibrant children. Through her work and personal journey, Shannon embodies a profound commitment to helping individuals navigate life's complexities with authenticity, resilience, and deep spiritual insight.   https://www.ransackedsoul.com https://www.facebook.com/groups/ransackedsoul/   #Spiritual #contemplative #spiritualwellness #spiritualdirector #perimenopause #autoimmune #listening #holdingspace #healing

In this episode, Kara talks with another educator around body literacy, media and the flipping the script around puberty. Many experienced shame and fear in their puberty education and that is why parents seek help from people like Konika Ray Wong who make puberty education for girls fun and empowering.  Konika Ray Wong is the founder of Girl Power Science. She is an author, science educator, and a mom on a mission to flip puberty positive. For over two decades, Konika has been a kindergarten through sixth grade science educator. Her children's book, "One in a Million - A First Book About Periods" is a best seller on Amazon.  She is passionate about body literacy, destigmatizing periods and puberty, and building communities of empowered learners that confidently celebrate growth. Learn more about Girl Power Science: Website Instagram Facebook

We are influenced by a lot in our early years that affect our sexual lives. Those who work on college campuses and teach human sexuality have noted that there is a rise in rough sex among the students. Some of what this rough sex involves is choking. Dr. Debby Herbenick has recognized how this can be problematic for many reasons, but one is that any constriction of breath can cause damage to our bodies and our brain. Her book, Yes, Your Kid helps parents navigate the necessary conversations that are needed in the home around sex and the exposure to porn. Often as parents we tend to think, “Not my kid.” However, the reality today is that with social media and 24 hour access to porn, this could very well be something your child has experienced or maybe thought about.  Dr. Herbenick is a Provost Professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health-Bloomington, Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, and an AASECT-certified sexuality educator. Her newest book is “Yes Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today's Teens and Sex” which has been highlighted in the New York Times and on CNN.com. Her research focuses on women's sexual health, US population-representative research, as well as trends in sexual attitudes and behaviors. She has published more than 200 peer-reviewed scientific articles related to sexual and reproductive health and serves as Principal Investigator of the award-winning National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, which has been ongoing since 2009. Dr. Herbenick's research, books, and expertise have been featured in the New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, Vogue, NPR, CBC, the Tamron Hall Show, Tyra, Discovery Health, The Doctors, and in thousands of others media. Learn more: www.debbyherbenick.com www.linkedin.com/in/debbyherbenick www.debbyherbenick.com/books-media  

When it comes to reproductive rights that are occupying the attention of the nation and threatening the lives of women, Kara asks the question, “What about the men?” It takes two to tango as we know but men seem to be left out of the conversation. This is why Kara reached out to Men for Choice co-founder Oren Johnson to get his take on things. Oren and Kara talk about how men are stakeholders in what is happening in our country around reproductive rights as well and how Oren is fostering conversations nationwide with other men around this very idea. Oren Jacobson is a civic entrepreneur, thought leader, and organizer focused on addressing systemic problems. He's the co-founder and co-Executive Director of Men4Choice, a multi-state advocacy organization working to bring male allies into the fight for reproductive freedom. Founded in Illinois in 2015, Men4Choice now organizes in Florida and Georgia and is expanding into North Carolina and Arizona in 2024. He's also the political chair of Personal PAC, Illinois' leading pro-choice political action committee that is widely recognized as one of the most powerful and successful political organizations in the state. Oren is the former National Chapter Development Director for the New Leaders Council, where he helped grow NLC into the largest leadership development organization in the progressive movement. He holds a Master of International Relations from the University of Chicago, a Master of Economics and Policy Analysis from DePaul University, and a Master of Business Administration from Regis University. Learn more: www.men4choice.org www.instagram.com/men4choice www.facebook.com/men4choice twitter.com/Men_4_Choice

In this episode, Kara talks with Anna Hayek and Marco Orlando on the topic of sexuality health education for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and the community that supports them. Anna works for Mad Hatter Wellness, a business that creates comprehensive sexual health education programming that educates, trains and empowers people with intellectual disabilities and their support systems. She is a 200 Hour Certified Yoga Teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga Calm Youth Instructor and is certified to teach K-12 ESL and Spanish. She uses these certifications within her sexuality education classes.  Anna appreciates opportunities to empower people to connect to their breath, body and community.  Marco Orlando is a trained peer educator on the Empowered Together curriculum, on the topics of healthy relationships and sexual health, designed for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. The lessons were created to be co-led by a professional educator and peer educator. He is on the Board of Directors for Speaking Up For Us (SUFU), an organization in Maine that advocates to empower people living with developmental disabilities to speak up and take action in ways that improve their lives.  Learn more: Anna Hayek @ madhatterwellness.com Marco Orlando @ sufumaine.org/marco-orlando

We can get stuck in the stories we tell ourselves and this can be an exhausting way to live. However, our brains are pretty wonderful and with intention we can help rewire and change the ways we show up for ourselves. This is what Christina Woods did for herself and now she is helping others through hypnosis and coaching.  Christina combines her background in corporate leadership along with her life experiences in dealing with trauma and abandonment to empower other women to trust their intuition and set themselves free of self-doubt.  As the CEO and Founder of Wise Woods Hypnotherapy and Coaching, Christina has extensive experience working on complex challenges and pulling potential out of others so that they can become self-reliant individuals. Through this deep hypnotherapy and coaching work, she empowers women to shed old programming, so they can live the life they deserve. She has been honing her intuition and spiritual energy practice throughout her entire life, and it is this experience, knowledge, and wisdom that she brings to every client during each session. Christina wants everyone to stop looking outside for what they need and instead look inside themselves. She helps her clients step into their true authentic self, free of self-sabotaging behavior, so they can live a life full of deep meaning, and potential. Christina is a licensed Rapid Transformational Therapist®, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Empowerment Coach, and Reiki Master. Learn more: Website | Facebook | Instagram Join Christina's Private Facebook Group

On our podcast, we've talked a lot about sexuality related to people who identify as female, but today we are focusing on those who identify as male. Societal gender roles not only impact females, but everyone else. Reece Malone and Kara discuss the way that the buzz phrase “toxic masculinity” affects those who identify as male and the way their female partners perpetuate this culture. Reece discusses topics brought into this sex therapy practice and how many grown men don't know how to access their emotions as they have been told to shut them off for so long. This messaging affects the way they show up in relationships and their sexual lives. Listen to the way Kara and Reece unpack these narratives together.  Reece Malone is a sexologist, sex therapist and sexuality educator. He is an associate professor at Antioch University Seattle and a certified sexuality educator supervisor through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.  He provides program and policy consultation and service provider training in healthcare, education, social services and corporate sectors. Reece's specializations include: workplace equitable and inclusive communication and practices, sexuality and sexual orientation awareness, 2SLGBTQIA+ equity and inclusion, transgender and gender diversity, issues in human sexuality, and sex-positive / sexuality affirming service delivery. He also has sex therapy and intimacy coaching private practice  Learn more:  . Website . Linkedin . An Intersectional Approach to Sex Therapy: Centering the Lives of Indigenous, Racialized, and People of Color

When a person is told they have breast cancer, there are many emotions that come from that diagnosis, including grief and fear. Lisa Chism is very aware of these emotions and the way they continually show up throughout the journey of battling breast cancer. This is why she looks at the whole picture with those affected by this diagnosis – from their sex lives, care and well-being, and how menopause or perimenopause is affecting them. In this episode, Kara and Lisa discuss the many things a person can experience with breast cancer and how to advocate to get the best care they deserve.  Lisa Chism holds a Doctorate of Nursing Practice (DNP) and is the clinical director of Oakland Macomb Center for Breast Health. She holds three specialty certifications which include certification as a Menopause Practitioner through the Menopause Society, certification as sexuality counselor through the American Association of Sexuality Therapists, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), and after 15 years caring for breast cancer survivors and patients at high risk for breast cancer, she became certified in breast care through the Oncology Nursing Society. Lisa has established a dedicated menopause and sexual health clinic caring for the menopausal and sexual health needs of women who have a history of breast cancer or are at elevated risk for breast cancer.  Lisa has authored numerous publications related to women's healthcare including serving as lead author of the 2023 Menopause Society's Non hormonal position statement. She guest lectures at universities across the country and her textbook The Doctor of Nursing Practice: A Guidebook for Role Development and Professional Issues is in its fifth edition. She is a Fellow of the American Association of Nurse Practitioners and was selected as Menopause Practitioner of the year 2011. She formally served on the Board of Directors at the North American Menopause Society as well as a federal advisory committee with the CDC regarding breast cancer in young women. In October 2021, Lisa Chism was inducted as a fellow of the American Academy of Nursing. Learn more: Oakland Macomb Obstetrics & Gynecology Provider Profile North American Menopause Society International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health

Kara gets personal with author Shannon Harris as they talk about her book The Woman They Wanted. As a pastor's wife, Kara identified with Shannon in that the church can be hard place to be due to always feeling watched. Shannon and Kara share emotional moments together as they talk about being women, wives, and mothers while maintaining and navigating their identity in church spaces.  Shannon Harris is a singer, actor, composer, writer, feminist, wild woman, and permission giver. She grew up performing, singing, and writing music and theatre until she met and married bestselling author Joshua Harris. Since her departure from conservative Christianity and conclusion of her marriage, Shannon has re-evaluated the ideas society takes for granted about women and their contributions. Now, Shannon has returned to pursuing a career in the performing arts. She is currently writing a one-woman musical comedy and released her first album under the name Shannon Bonne. She lives in Vancouver, British Columbia. Instagram: www.instagram.com/shannon.bonne Website: www.shannonbonne.com

In this episode, Kara talks about some of the things she has been reframing from her teaching students and her time in advent. In a recent teaching session at a church, they talked about secrets and shame. She talks about how it matters that Jesus came from an unwed, teenage girl. So much of the pain we carry has been constructed by society based on other stories of shame. We don't need to hang on to shame. If we as a society learned how to operate from curiosity and support, and changed “better than” messaging, we would all be better off. Kara talks about how she hopes everyone in this season remembers that they matter and to offer themselves some compassion.

The topic of STIs is often accompanied with shame. It is also accompanied with the idea that a person was careless and promiscuous. However, that is not how STIs work. Sexual Health Education in our country is starting to change for the better, but is still very far behind in the aspect that we are not making it widely available, nor is it always accurate. This is one of the topics Kara talks about with Alexandra Harbuska, founder of Life with Herpes. Alexandra talks about the myths around STIs and herpes and sheds light on to what we can do to change the conversation and help support those who do have an STI, which affects a lot of people. We need to let go of the stigma associated with STIs and recognize they are a human experience.  Alexandra Harbushka's life was sent into upheaval when she received a call from her doctor diagnosing her with herpes. Shaking, feeling like her life - her goals, happiness, and desires - had all just gone up in smoke, she was left scared and with a new mission, to share her story with people just like her and to let them know that their feelings are normal, natural, and that they are not victims.  With that mission in mind, she founded Life With Herpes, an online community consisting of a podcast, a website, Youtube channel, wellness products to support the skin condition and an online community that provides support, all dedicated to shattering the stigma of living with herpes. Before founding Life With Herpes and becoming a mother to her son Clinton and a wife to her husband Bill, Alexandra worked in corporate America with roles ranging from Ralph Lauren to selling new home construction to being a mortgage loan officer. Her education includes a bachelor degree from the University of Arizona (Bear Down to my fellow Wildcats!), a postgraduate certificate in Ministry, and is currently working on a masters in Theology. She is also an ordained minister and provides ministry counseling. Learn more about Alexandra YouTube - Life With Herpes www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/lifewithherpes

Two sex therapists and a sex educator talk about their deconstruction journey with church and finding their way into being professionals helping people understand their sexuality. Purity culture had a way of convincing people to not listen to their bodies, to follow rules, and providing a limited definition of what love looks like. Jeremiah Gibson and Julia Postema talk about what it was like growing up in the Evangelical church, getting married young, divorcing, and what made them realize the story they were given was not healthy for them. In this episode, we discuss gender roles, learning how to talk about sex, needs and wants, living into authenticity, and finding a sense of peace.  Julia and Jeremiah are AASECT certified sex therapists and a partnered couple. They co-host a podcast called Sexvangelicals: The sex education the church didn't want you to have where they explore how people can rebuild relationships, learn about intimacy, and let go of shame while unpacking sexuality. They are exploring how many are taking the same path deconstructing sexuality and the church and are asking the questions to repair the harm that many experienced.  Learn more about Jeremiah, Julia and Sexvangelicals:  Website: www.sexvangelicals.com Instagram: @sexvangelicals Facebook: @sexvangelicals

More and more people are opening their relationships in one form or another. 1 in 9 people have tried a polyamorous relationship in their lifetime, according to a 2021 study published in Frontiers in Psychology. Kara talks with expert Joli Hamilton on how she works with couples and individuals who want to open their relationship and what that entails. Within this conversation, you'll learn about tools that can be implemented in any partnered relationship. For instance, what are your relationship agreements? What are your boundaries? This episode explores the many ways we take on relationship models that were illustrated to us in childhood, but may not work for us now. Joli discusses helpful tips for any relationship you may be in to help you understand your authentic wants and desires, and how to communicate them. Dr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT certified sex educator. Joli also co-hosts the Project Relationship podcast with her anchor partner, Ken. Joli has been featured in The New York Times, Vogue, NPR, and The Atlantic. She has spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. Joli helps people create non-monogamous partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required. Learn more: www.jolihamilton.com

Intimate partner violence and domestic violence often lives in the shadows of many people's lives. It can go unaddressed and unnoticed by friends and family for a long time. Getting help to end the violence is a brave and courageous act and one that Pam Miles knows a lot about. In this episode, Kara and Pam talk about her lifetime experience of domestic and intimate partner violence and how we as a society can help stop this lived existence for many. Pam also talks about her healing journey through writing while recovering from brain surgery. With October being domestic violence awareness month, this is a must listen. Pam Miles comes from a multi-generational lineage of Domestic Violence, but that has not stopped her from redefining her story moving forward. Author of "Mile 0", Pam continues to speak publicly about the importance of breaking harmful cycles, both in families and societal systems, and how one-person can indeed make a difference in another's life. Pam is a solo pastor of an ELCA congregation in Mukilteo, Washington. As one who cares deeply about children and family safety and their health, she is this year's Snohomish County Domestic Violence Resource Services main speaker. Pam has served on the King County Juvenile Diversion Unit and has taught Safe Haven Boundaries courses nationally. She wrote her book "Mile 0" during her rehab from brain surgery following a brain bleed in 2020, where she had to relearn to walk and once again, rewrite her story moving forward. Pam continues to be called courageous, inspiring, and persistent by all who know her story of survival and witnessing of what can be. Learn more about Pam: Mile 0 - Breaking the Multi-Generational Cycle of Domestice Violence Ponte of Grace Church

Reproductive Justice and Rights are currently a battleground in our country. As Kara studied to become a sex educator, she learned her knowledge around reproductive justice and rights was quite limited. It has been her biggest learning curve and an area where she believes many Americans need more education. Kara speaks with Simran Singh Jain, who works for SisterSong: National Women of Color Reproductive Justice Collective as their Membership Coordinator, fighting for reproductive freedom in the South. Their purpose is to build an effective network of individuals and organizations to improve institutional policies and systems that impact the reproductive lives of marginalized communities. Simran gives insight into the world of reproductive justice and the ways it affects so many lives that the general public is not fully aware of.  In this podcast, Kara and Simran talk about the many layers that are at play with reproductive justice. They unpack the systems that are impacted by racism and how they affect everyone's well-being. They look at family values and how generational trauma continues to impact us. Simran studied Political Science and Gender and Sexuality Studies at Tulane University. Before working for SisterSong, she was at an anti-incarceration nonprofit in Syracuse, NY. She has served as a sexual violence response team member and consent educator. Listen in as she explains the work of SisterSong and why reproductive rights are important for all of us. www.sistersong.net www.instagram.com/simrantoastcrunch

We have been given a script on how to feel about our bodies. It limits who we are and the depth of life that we can experience. Kara talks with Hilary Kinavey and Dana Sturtevant the Co-Founders and Co-Owners of the Center for Body Trust and the authors of the book Reclaiming Body Trust. Together they remember stories they were told and how they were made to feel about their bodies and the deconstruction they are going through to change the relationship they have with their bodies. Too many fem bodies and now masculine bodies are feeling like they are never enough. It's time to change that.  In 2005, Hillary and Dana founded the Center for Body Trust to offer programs that encourage movement toward a compassionate, weight-inclusive model of radical care to address body oppression, heal body shame and associated patterns of chronic dieting and disordered eating. The Center for Body Trust also offers programs for helping professionals and educators interested in adopting client-centered, trauma-informed, justice-based approaches to healing—including an intensive year-long Body Trust Certification Training. Their work has been featured in The New York Times, Scientific American, Health, Self, Real Simple, Huffington Post, and the TEDx stage, and their book Reclaiming Body Trust: A Path to Healing and Liberation was released in 2023.  Hilary Kinavey, MS, LPC  (she/her) has supported people who are healing from disordered eating, body shame, and the impact of weight bias and other traumas. Hilary's work as a therapist, educator, speaker, and writer, has been a study of what interrupts our sense of wholeness and how we can return to ourselves in a culture that profits from fragmentation. She has additional training in workshop facilitation, mind-body coaching, and radical relating. She is a sought-after speaker on topics such as weight-inclusive approaches, weight bias, and the intersections of activism and the helping professions. She offers consultation and training for organizations and professionals. Dana Sturtevant, MS, RD (she/her), is a registered dietitian who helps people divest from diet culture and move toward more compassionate, embodied forms of radical care. Her work as a speaker, educator, and trainer focuses on humanizing health care, advancing health equity, and advocating for food and body sovereignty. As a sought-after speaker and writer, Dana is a champion for compassionate, weight-inclusive models of care and offers supervision, training, and consultation for helping professionals and health care organizations. Learn more about Hilary and Dana and their work at: www.centerforbodytrust.com facebook.com/CenterForBodyTrust instagram.com/Center for Body Trust twitter.com/bodytrustcenter

In their Season 3 Finale, Kara and Jenny talk about what they are reframing from the last year, where they have grieved and what is bringing them joy. They talk about parenting post pandemic, the influence of our parents, reminders of expectations placed upon them and how that impacts how they parent. They look forward to next season, talk about upcoming shows and discuss a new educational series just released, REFRAMING: Youth Groups & Healthy Relationships. Learn More and Follow: Email: info@reframingourstories.com Website: www.reframingourstories.com New Educational Series: REFRAMING: Youth Groups & Healthy Relationships Facebook: www.facebook.com/reframingourstories Instagram: www.instagram.com/reframingourstories Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/company/reframingourstories

There are many subjects that Kara and Darren discuss in this podcast, they definitely go where the conversation wants to flow, including the bidet. Somehow, the story of the bidet leads us into the topic of lacking. What does it mean to lack in something and what do we lose when we turn away from ourselves? Darren and Kara also talk about: race, HIV, embodiment and affirming spaces in ministry, and his band - The Many. Darren Calhoun is a justice advocate, worship leader, and photographer based out of Chicago. He works to bridge connections between people of differing perspectives through story and relationship. Intersectionality is his primary lens when facilitating dialogue and education about justice and inclusion for people marginalized based on race, gender, and/or sexuality. Darren Calhoun is currently the Worship Leader at Urban Village Church – South Loop and previously served as a volunteer worship leader at Willow Chicago for close to a decade.  Darren is an Associate Fellow with Evangelicals for Social Action and sings with a band called The Many. He co-lead the #ImSorry and #MakeLoveLouder campaigns at Chicago's LGBTQ Pride parades.  He's been a speaker and performer at notable events like the Gay Christian Network conference, The Wild Goose Festival, and Sojourner's Summit for Change. He serves on the board of directors for the Center for Inclusivity, The Reformation Project, and Q Christian Fellowship. He brings with him an intentional focus on the church being inclusive of a diversity of people and expressions as an authentic reflection of the Love of God. Lastly, Darren is an extrovert who loves hugs. Follow him on social media at @heyDarren or through his blog, DarrenCalhoun.com.

In all her education in sexual health, Kara has never heard orientation explained or broken down the way that Aubri Lancaster did when talking about asexuality and aromanticism. Aubri challenged Kara to think more deeply about how orientation is taught and expressed to illustrate that we are leaving out important details and many layers. They look at those layers with more intention. If you like philosophy and the study of human sexuality, then this episode is for you.  Aubri Lancaster (she/her) is an AASECT and ANTE UP! Certified Sexuality Educator. As a Greyromantic Asexual, Aubri has lived experience and a connection to the Asexual and Aromantic communities that provides a unique perspective on the issues facing the changing landscape of sexuality and orientation. When not working, Aubri spends her time with her spouse, her friends, her 6 year old, and her two adorable Chihuahuas. Learn more about Aubri: www.MyPassionAngel.com IG and TikTok: @AceSexEducation

Recognizing that sobriety is the step you need to take to get back to you is one that takes courage. Kara talks with her friend Anthony Eder about his journey living into sobriety. On the path to becoming sober, Anthony learned how to enjoy his own company with the connection to others who are also queer and choose sobriety. It's in this space where Anthony learns how to love himself and find joy while also understanding boundaries and maintaining them. Kara and Anthony cover a lot of ground in this episode from topics around neurodiversity, healthy relationships, negative self talk, politics, and more.  Anthony is someone who is not afraid to share the struggles he has gone through in hopes that it supports another. After spending several years in Southern California working at a youth camp full time, Anthony is back in the Midwest. He is living life with intention, hope, and curiosity. He is passionate about mental health care, advocating for our voice & purpose, and creating a dance party anywhere we go. He believes sobriety is a path of self love and self discovery. Anthony is a Certified Peer Support Specialist for folks in recovery and struggling with their mental health. He will also soon be certified as an Enneagram Practitioner with The Art of Growth.  Anthony finds joy in knitting, music, laughing, road trips, and connecting with people on a deep level. He is always searching for new music, so send him ALL your suggestions! Website: www.theluckiestclub.com Instagram: instagram.com/mwendo.sou Podcast Notes: The song we referred to in this podcast was Drawn to the Rhythm by Sarah McLachlan

In this episode, Kara talks with Shereese Floyd about how past trauma can leave us stuck in a character and not know who we are. Shereese escaped from an abusive relationship and changed her story, and is now helping others to do the same. Part of being human is learning from the stories of others, listening and seeing the dignity each person holds through stories - even when they hold differences to ours. Shereese is a storytelling strategist and healing advocate who helps women remember what they are capable of by reminding them of what they have already done. Shereese also works with abuse survivors by helping them reclaim their voices so that they are impossible to ignore.  She's the owner of Witness My Life and author of Become the Greatest Story Ever Told: Making a Memoir, a storytelling journal that provides a simple DIY-style memoir process to help readers get their story out of their heads and into the world where it can make a difference. As a former prisoner's wife and survivor of narcissistic abuse. Shereese uses her hard-fought lessons to help others be seen and heard through journeying through their life experiences — all while turning the worst days into the best days of their lives.  Shereese is an advocate for social change and believes story is the one thing that truly brings the world together. As a TEDx speaker and coach, she helps aspiring speakers craft signature messages that impact the world. Her TEDx: The Secret to Healing the World was awarded a Cicero Speechwriting Award.  Shereese is a contributor to CEO World and Entrepreneur Magazine. Her work has been featured or quoted in Blavity, YFS Magazine, Forbes, The Huffington Post, Inside Business, CoVABIZ, and Coastal Virginia Magazine. Learn more about Shereese: www.witnessmylife.org

If you're a people pleaser trying to establish boundaries, this podcast is for you! Kara and Hailey Magee are self identified, recovering people pleasers. In this episode, they talk about the many layers behind establishing boundaries and the feelings that come with it. Listen in as Hailey and Kara vibe off each other's insights and make new discoveries of their own. Boundaries are important in creating and supporting healthy relationships and the most important boundaries are the ones you have with yourself. It is in the process of discovering our self-worth that we help ourselves identify and set these boundaries.  Hailey is a certified coach, educator, and writer who helps individuals worldwide set empowered boundaries and break the people-pleasing pattern. Certified by Erickson Coaching International, she has worked one-on-one with over 200 clients and her virtual workshops have welcomed thousands of participants from the United States, South Africa, France, Yemen, and beyond. Hailey has written for Newsweek, The Gottman Institute Blog and Medium's Better Humans, and has facilitated group coaching sessions in partnership with WeWork, Amazon, Women In Music, and a variety of other companies and organizations. She received her BA from Brandeis University in Massachusetts and currently resides in Seattle, WA.  Learn more about Hailey: www.haileymagee.com www.instagram.com/haileypaigemagee

As parents, we want the best for our children and want to see them thrive. Our hope is to provide them with protection, care, and a world where they don't feel threatened. In this episode, Jamie explains what it is like to parent a child who is trans. We all want the same thing for our children, let's make it easy for us to provide that for all children and families.  Kara and Jamie spend time talking about the boxes we create for ourselves that don't allow us to live into our authenticity and how when we allow one another to live into their own authenticity, it is better for everyone.  Jamie Bruesehoff (she/they) is a nationally known speaker, award-winning LGBTQ+ advocate, and a heartfelt writer. Rooted in her queer identity, her experiences raising a transgender child, and two decades of experience working with youth in and outside of the church, Jamie equips leaders to create safer, more inclusive spaces for LGBTQIA people of all ages. Her family and their work have been featured by media outlets and organizations around the world, including Disney, NPR, Good Morning America, USA Today, Forbes, Marvel, People, Parents, and the Human Rights Campaign. Jamie holds an M.A. in Religion from the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Gettysburg. She lives in New Jersey with her spouse and children. Jamie's upcoming book, Raising Kids Beyond the Binary: Celebrating God's Transgender and Gender-Diverse Children, is available for pre-order wherever books are sold. Learn more about Jamie:  jamiebruesehoff.com instagram.com/jamiebruesehoff facebook.com/jamiebruesehoff twitter.com/jamiebruesehoff

Technology continues to be a tool we use to enhance our life and relationships. As parents, there is definitely a love/hate relationship that develops with tech as it can do wonderful things and yet cause harm. In this episode, Kara talks with Kate Ott on how to look at tech in an ethical way and its relationship to sex.  Dr. Kate Ott is a feminist, Christian social ethicist addressing the formation of moral communities with specializations in technology, sexuality, youth and young adults, pedagogy, and professional ethics. She is the Jerre L. and Mary Joy Stead Professor of Christian Social Ethics at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, Il, where she serves as the Director of the Stead Center on Ethics and Values.  She is the author of Sex + Faith: Talking with Your Child from Birth to Adolescence and her new book, Sex, Tech, and Faith: Christian Ethics in a Digital Age. In her new book she gets to the heart of the matter of how we humans interact in an artificial space as sexual beings. What are the consequences of this, and where are the tangible positives?  Learn more about Kate at: www.kateott.org

The world of kink is big and often gets a bad rap, especially among religious communities. However, there is a lot more to kink that can help us open our world to a deeper understanding of ourselves. It's within kink where we are often given permission to explore the depths of ourselves and to be fully present in intimate experiences. Sean Orpen is an AASECT certified sex therapist who co-owns his own sex therapy collective in Seattle, WA and works primarily with those who identify as kinky. In this episode, Kara and Sean explore the way kink can lead to embodiment and open new pathways to ourselves.  Sean Orpen is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), a Marriage and Family Therapist Supervisor (LMFT-S), an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Supervisor (CST-S) in Seattle, WA. He finds meaning in helping people navigate their way to pleasure, find their voice, share their values, and communicate desire with others through a sense of empowerment. Bodies are meant to be enjoyed and pleasure sought out. He finds meaning in seeing others becoming powerful in their lives!  Learn more about Sean at www.pnwsextherapycollective.com

Sometimes it can take a moment, like when you're having a glass of wine in the evening with a new album playing, and listening to your body to discover the next move to take in your life. That was the case for Rozella H. White. She came to a point where her job was no longer aligning with her core values and knew it was time for a change. Rozella started her own coaching business, RHW Consulting, became the Love Big Coach, and wrote a book – Love Big: The Power of Revolutionary Relationships to Heal the World. Kara and Rozella talk about what big love looks like and how some of our systems don't teach us what real love and true intimacy can be. Together they explore the messaging they were given and how learning how to face the hard truth can help us turn our lives around even when there is fear. They cover topics from their roots in church to pornography.  Rozella Haydée White (she/her/ella) is the #LoveBigCoach, author, and Social Impact Entrepreneur who is focused on nurturing love that is life-giving, justice-seeking, and healing so that all can thrive. She is a public theologian, spiritual life and leadership coach, inspirational speaker and writer committed to embodying love that is bold, intentional and generous. RHW Consulting LLC is a coaching agency focused on supporting women and women-led organizations as they navigate change, transition and conflict utilizing a Love Ethic. RHW Consulting LLC coaches clients seeking personal and professional transformation. Learn more about Rozella: www.rozellahwhite.com www.facebook.com/lovebigcoach www.instagram.com/lovebigcoach www.linkedin.com/in/lovebigcoach

Three friends: Kara, Rola, and Kirt spend some time talking about how they have deconstructed the ideas they grew up with around God, the body, and sex. Rola is a Presbyterian pastor from Lebanon who talks about what it was like growing up in a culture that cries when a girl is born, and how she has transformed her view on her body and worth. Kirt shares what it was like growing up in an Evangelical church, then becoming a pastor in that denomination and how he experienced a sense of distrust and was unable to recognize his own needs and wants.  Rola Al Ashkar is a pastor, yogi, dancer, community organizer, and nature enthusiast from Lebanon. She is an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), a liberal and progressive denomination. Rola is a certified yoga instructor (RYT 200) and the founder and organizer of ἴama yoga, a free yoga community that meets in the courtyard of Westminster Presbyterian Church, in downtown Sacramento, where she also serves as Ministry Assistant. Rola believes that emotional, physical and spiritual health are tied together. Her hope is to make yoga accessible for everyone, and to offer through this practice healing and wholeness, in body, mind and spirit. Learn more at www.iamayoga.com Kirt Lewis is passionate about emotional health, sexuality, environmentalism, and advancing economic equality and human rights for historically oppressed, predominantly minority communities. After leaving the church and ministry in 2017, Kirt has been engaged in conversations and passion projects centered on advancing the cause of recovery from religious trauma. Professionally, he works for International Rescue Committee, a secular humanitarian organization on a special project with the City of Sacramento that provides free professional, personal financial coaching to low to moderate income residents. Most importantly, he is learning to love and grow up into his authentic self along with his two beautiful daughters, girlfriend and warm but moderately crazy cat. Learn more at www.kirtelewis.com  *In this episode Kara uses the word homosexual but understands the proper terminology is gay.

Belonging is something that many of us hope for. We need to feel like there is a place for us, but sometimes the places we are in are not the places that offer us the freedom to be ourselves. Join Kara as she talks with Katie Kuntz-Wineland, the founder of The Belonging Table. This spiritual care community by and for queers, mystics, and misfits can be fond online through Instagram. The Belonging Table offers space to explore faith and communion for those who might have experienced religious trauma. It opens the lids of the institutional boxes we find ourselves living in to appreciate where they nourished us but to let go of the harm they too have caused and find renewal. Sometimes we need permission to live into our truest selves -- Katie offers her community that permission. Katie Kuntz-Wineland (she/her) is a queer, post-denominational minister who holds a B.A. in biblical studies, a Master of Divinity, and professional certifications in mediation and adult sexuality education. Through @thebelongingtable, Katie offers 1:1 spiritual midwife sessions, consulting and facilitation for communities and organizations, pop-up group gatherings, and queer and interfaith weddings in Ohio. As a survivor of anti-queer religious trauma, one of Katie's greatest passions is supporting others on their spiritual journeys of healing, liberation, and wholeness beyond those institutional boxes. www.facebook.com/thebelongingtable www.instagram.com/thebelongingtable thebelongingtable.wordpress.com/about

In this episode Kara got to fangirl as she spoke with one of her favorite artists, David Hayward. David was a pastor for over 30 years before leaving the church and using his art to deconstruct his faith and get more in touch with who he is. His art is helping others do the same. Kara and David talk about getting to the “naked truth” and how some of this practice and knowledge can be applied to parenting. Together they explore their beliefs and their hope for the church.  Learn more and follow Naked Pastor: www.nakedpastor.com www.instagram.com/nakedpastor/ www.facebook.com/nakedpastor/

In the last episode of the year, Kara talks about self care and managing the stress of the season, upcoming podcasts in the 2023, and conversations and questions for you and your families as you navigate this season.  We'll be back in the new year! In the meantime, check out episodes you may have missed and our online store for our newest conversation card deck. If you have any feedback on topics you'd like to hear about in future podcasts, let us know and thank you for being a listener! www.reframingourstories.com/podcast www.reframingourstories.com/store

Over the pandemic as families were together in the home, some long time desires were able to be discussed with more intention and more clarity. This was the case for Kellie Edson and her husband as they decided they wanted to explore polyamory. This has always been in the back of their mind from the beginning, but over the past year or so they decided now was the time. For them, it has been a great experience and has made their relationship better. Kara and Kellie talk about Kellie's journey into polyamory. Kellie dispels some myths, explains terminology, and provides a different lens onto how to look at all relationships. About Kellie: I'm Kellie, polyamorous, queer

Hearing the phrase “Sex with God” could potentially throw people off course, but in this episode Kara and Suzanne, talk about the intimacy one can experience by getting to know the true nature of who they are and how God is in that intimate space. Suzanne shares her story of living into who she is and finding the greatest love of her life. In this vulnerable and open dialogue you will learn about asexuality, gender, orientation, infidelity, desire, and leaning into God. Suzanne DeWitt Hall (she/her/hers) is the author of Where True Love Is devotionals, the Living in Hope series which supports the family and friends of transgender people, The Path of Unlearning faith deconstruction books, and the Rumplepimple adventures. Her debut novel, The Language of Bodies (Woodhall Press) launched in October 2022. She is mildly obsessed with vintage cookbooks and the intersection of sexuality and theology. Suzanne lives with her beloved transgender husband, two terriers, and a cat named Chicken. Her work is designed to shine the light of love into hearts darkened by discrimination and fear. Learn more about Suzanne: https://www.wheretrueloveis.com/ https://www.instagram.com/wheretrueloveismovement/ https://www.facebook.com/WhereTrueLoveIs

Many of us grew up thinking our bodies and sex were sinful. We were told not to trust them. The theology that accompanied that message was very authoritarian and we were made to feel not worthy. Where is Jesus in that message? Kara and Reverend Beverly Dale talk about a sex positive God and how God can be a God of pleasure. Reverend Beverly Dale is a published writer, vocalist, and performer, in addition to being an ordained minister. Her ministry has taken her from being a pastor in a Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) parish in Illinois for 6 years to 21 years of campus ministry at the University of Pennsylvania. She is presently the founder and chair of the Incarnation Institute for Sex & Faith, an educational non-profit that teaches an inclusive, science-friendly and sex-positive Christianity. Her ministry has a very specific and unique focus: to help people of faith heal from the sexual wounding that occurs when they are taught to separate the spirit from the body, and also to provide tools for those who are developing a Christian theology that affirms the body and pleasure as God-given. She is the co-author of Advancing Sexual Health for the Christian Client: Data and Dogma.   www.beverlydale.org

As a woman who experienced childhood sexual abuse, Tenishia Lester knew what it was like to feel silenced, not trust herself, and experience a lack of self-worth. Over the course of time Tenishia knew there was more that life had to offer, so she started to fight for herself and her worth. Through a Facebook survey and a church program, that gave her the fuel to change her narrative. Through rewriting her story by writing her own story, she discovered her purpose to help other women discover their worth too.  Tenishia B. Lester is a Certified International Master Life/Business Coach, Certified International Christian Coach,  Certified Pastoral Counselor, Author, and Speaker. Tenishia B. Lester Enterprises, LLC enables Tenishia to coach entrepreneurial minded women who are ready to overcome self-defeating mindsets and behaviors to become more self-aware to live tenacious, bold lives. Raised in New Jersey, Tenishia currently resides in Georgia. She is the proud mother of one son (another preceded her in death) and a grandson. As a result of experiencing years of childhood sexual abuse, not being secure in her identity or knowing her life's purpose, imposter syndrome, low-self-esteem and other issues, Tenishia made up her mind to change the trajectory of her life. Tenishia is an advocate for counseling and healing ministries as it has helped her during the lowest moments of her life. Additionally, Tenishia had the assistance of a Life Coach to help her navigate life circumstances; therefore, knows the value of life coaching firsthand. Her book Arrested Development: A Journey to Discovering Identity and Purpose was penned and birthed during her healing process. Tenishia's heart behind her book is to provide a resource that gives insight and hope to those who are or have experienced childhood trauma, life challenges and/or lack of identity and purpose. Tenishia realized that her struggles were not for her during her healing process, but for the uplifting of others. With a heart to lead and serve, Tenishia finds joy in enlightening, empowering, encouraging and teaching others how to change their story. Tenishia is passionate and committed to seeing others win. Her compassionate caring ways and listening ear positions Tenishia as one who is sought out by many to assist them by providing wisdom and guidance in life. Her creativity has afforded women with businesses to create products and services and enhance revenue.  Tenishia is proof of what freedom looks like and that you too can overcome adversity. Her motto is "Healing....it's a whole journey, not a destination" – one that she is committed to going on with others. https://www.tenishiablester.com/

Grief is something that makes us extremely uncomfortable, but is a part of our life where it can be an intimate partner. Kara and Edy talk about how we need to invite grief in for a conversation. It's a place where if we interact with the uncomfortable, we can be transformed.  Edy Nathan MA, LCSWR is an author, public speaker and licensed therapist. She is an AASECT certified sex therapist, hypnotherapist and certified EMDR practitioner with more than 20 years of experience. Edy earned degrees from New York University and Fordham University, with post-graduate training at the Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy. She practices in New York City. In her expertise as a grief therapist, she interweaves her formal training as a psychotherapist with breathwork, guided imagery, ritual and storytelling. Trauma, abuse, and grief cause the soul to become imbalanced: The goal of the work is to find emotional calibration or balance to defy the depth of darkness and the grip grief often has on the psyche. She believes that everyone experiences grief throughout their lives. Grief is not just about the death of a loved one, but the losses we experience in life. Grief is hard to talk about. Edy teaches you to dance with your grief, To know it as a way to know yourself. Whether it is the loss of a loved one or the loss of a limb or the loss of the life you once knew, it is your soul that offers the answers to relief. An essential element in her practice is to offer clients the chance to combine psychotherapy with a deeper, more spiritual understanding of the self. She is dedicated to helping people understand their grief, cope with the fear and struggle that holds them back, and learn to live fully. https://edynathan.com/

We are excited to kick off Season 3 of Reframing our Stories: The Podcast. In this episode, Kara talks with Joanne on how trauma impacts our body and the way it can show up in our relationships with ourselves and others. It takes a while to work through our trauma and one of the first steps is to acknowledge where it shows up in our body by listening, paying attention, and breathing. Joanne Spence is a mental health professional and practitioner of yoga, and is the author of the book Trauma-Informed Yoga: A Toolbox for Therapists: 47 Simple Practices to Calm, Balance, and Restore the Nervous System. Her work has helped many people dealing with chronic pain, anxiety, depression, ADHD, trauma, and insomnia. She has taught in various settings such as schools, churches, prisons, hospitals, and sometimes on street corners.  www.joannespence.com www.yogainschools.org

In the last episode for Season two of Reframing our Stories: The Podcast, Kara and Jenny connect on where society needs to change – talking about the silence and shame around discussions around sexuality, the tendency to react and respond before listening and taking a moment, and a shift Kara has seen in kids she taught this year. They discuss what they've reframed over the past year and what is coming up for our next season starting in September. Share your story for Season 3!

Learning how to love our bodies and have a good relationship with food for some is really hard work. We have grown up with a diet culture that tells us how we are supposed to be. Our bodies are our vehicles that we experience this world with and to constantly be scrutinizing them is exhausting.  Dr. Jenn Salib Huber is a Canadian Registered Dietitian, Naturopathic Doctor and Intuitive Eating Coach and she's on a mission to help women thrive in midlife.  She helps women navigate the physical and emotional changes that happen in perimenopause and menopause, including their search for food freedom and body confidence. Working from a health at every size approach, she teaches women to become intuitive eaters and build body confidence at any stage of midlife.  She's the host of 'The Midlife Feast' a podcast for women who are hungry for more, and offers support to help women feel like themselves again. Her group program, Beyond The Scale,  helps women "undiet" their lives after 40 so they can nourish a relationship with food that helps them discover the magic of midlife! Join Kara and Jenn as they discuss transitioning into perimenopause and reframing the way we view our bodies and food.  https://www.jennsalibhuber.ca/

Sometimes it is in our failed attempts at new hobbies when we find our passion and purpose. This was the case for Crystal Rose Mihaylo as she crocheted baby clothes, but found making body parts with yarn brought her joy and healing to other people.  In this episode, you'll hear from Crystal and  her journey of understanding her sexuality and healing former trauma through the art of crocheting. Crystal is the creator of Not Your Nana's Yarn Work. This is definitely not the type of crochet you would see at your grandmother's house, but also, who are we really to know what grandma is hiding. Crystal creates crochet pieces of different body parts like the vulva, penis, and breasts. She makes them large and small, into planters, earrings, ornaments, key chains, pillows, wall hangings and more. They are impressive and imaginative. At first some may wonder, why would anyone want these? But then you see them and say, “I clearly need to have these!”  Enjoy listening to how these beautiful pieces of yarn work bring healing to people and help educate around sexuality.  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notyournanasyarnwork

Being a mother is something some may dream of, but in today's society there can be a divide between what the envisioned experience would be vs. the day to day reality. In this conversation, Beth and Kara discuss how modern day motherhood is unsupported and leaves moms in a state of perpetual sacrifice and questioning their worth.  Beth Berry is author of Motherwhelmed: Challenging Norms, Untangling Truths, and Restoring our Worth to the World. She is also a life coach, group facilitator, teacher, and mother of four daughters. According to Beth: We can't afford to pretend to love motherhood. Not this version of it … that has us raising kids alone in our homes disconnected from one another, immersed in a culture of judgment and perfectionism, under the illusion that we're the ones who can't get our acts together.  Learn more about Beth at revolutionfromhome.com

In this episode Kara talks with Justine Ang Fonte, a math teacher turned sex educator.  Justine is a child of Philippine immigrants and a nationally-recognized intersectional health educator, speaker, and consultant. She has a Master's in Education and a Master's in Public Health in Sexuality. She has been featured in The New York Times, The Atlantic, Business Insider, and NPR.  Kara and Justine talk about her experience as a sex educator at a private New York school where complaints about her teaching were sent to the New York Post. Justine describes how that impacted her and why it is not stopping her from doing this work, but it does change how she does it. Justine has a passion for making lives better and that is evident from her life as a math teacher and how being with those 8th grade kids everyday led her into public health.  You can find her here: https://www.justinefonte.com/ Twitter: @ImJustineAF Instagram Personal: @imjustineaf Instagram Ghostwriting: @_good.byes_ * Additional show notes: According to the Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF), more than one in two people report having or knowing someone with an STI. The CDC notes, 1 in 5 Americans have an STI right now. Almost half of new cases are within the 15 - 24 year old demographic. Darkness to Light is a 501(c)(3) organization that provides information to prevent and report childhood sexual abuse.

As a sex therapist, educator, and dad, Jo spends his time helping teens navigate the many safety issues they can encounter online. In this episode, Kara and Jo talk about social media, porn, and the many ways parents can help their teens navigate the terrain so close in their hands, but can feel so out of their control. Jo helps parents learn through conversations how to help their teen learn how to have digital citizenship that can help them create positive relationships with online behavior. Jo Langford, M.A. is a Seattle based dad, Master's-level therapist, author and sex educator for tweens, teens and parents. For the last 20 years, Jo has worked in the intersection of adolescence, sexuality, technology and behavior.  From working in peer counseling and student outreach programs in high schools, to medical, residential and psychiatric settings, Jo now provides training for organizations and agencies as well therapy to adolescents and families around a gambit of sexuality themes - with an emphasis on LGBT issues, Internet safety, digital citizenship and comprehensive sex education.   He is the author of the Spare Me, ‘The Talk'!, series – guides to sex, relationships and growing up for modern teens and their parents. His first book is the first modern guide to healthy sexuality in print specifically written for boys (and their parents). The second book in the series is the first guide to growing up for girls (and their parents) written by a male. His third book, The Pride Guide, is an encompassing guide to sexual and social development, safety and health for queer youth and their families. Covering all aspects of LGBT adolescence, both online and off, this book is the first puberty book written with queer (and specifically trans) youth in mind. Jo speaks internationally using information, education and humor to help parents and professionals increase their knowledge and self-confidence as a proactive defense against the unfortunate consequences that sometimes accompany teen sexuality, behavior and development. More about his work to promote healthy, positive and safe sexual and social behavior can be found at his website, Beheroes.net. Facebook: Jo Langford/Beheroes Twitter: @beheroesdotnet

Mikel Ibarra woke up one morning with an idea that she couldn't ignore. As an artist, when ideas come, especially those that are a bit unusual, you pay attention – and that is what Mikel did. Mikel, a public school art teacher turned baker, decided to go to her kitchen and make pies to explore the way vulvas look. Yes, Mikel makes vulva pies. In this episode, Kara and Mikel explore the way Mikel's art is educating vulva owners around how varied they look and to remove the shame many carry around their appearance.  Mikel Ibarra (she/ her/ hers) is an artist and baker living in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Her current work explores the paths between empowerment, acceptance, sexuality, and objectification using hand-sculpted desserts as her media of choice.  Her life has followed a curving path from artist to wife and mother to public school art teacher to baker and finally back to artist. Interestingly, it was the slow process of spending hours in the kitchen, seeking perfection in baking, that awakened the inspiration to tackle her feelings about the proverbial woman's place through visual art. She found pie was the perfect symbol to explore all the complexities, beginning with the vulva being a source of pleasure and portal of life while also being a source of shame and fear. Like pie, it's often treated as a consumable commodity.  Her work celebrates the beauty of the body and showcases the diversity of normal bodies. See it at www.piesinthewindow.com or on Instagram @piesinthewindow.

In this episode, I am honored to speak with my childhood pastor, Kirk Havel. I wanted to interview him because of the role he has played in my life and how he has reframed stories in my life, especially around God. Kirk has shown me how to live out the gospel and a lot of times when you live out the gospel, it isn't always popular. He also showed me care, respect, love, and how I have the capacity to be a leader. He is an example of the kind of Christian I want to be. Kirk was born and raised in Ohio - forever a Buckeye! He graduated from Capital University and Trinity Lutheran Seminary in Columbus, Ohio. In 1968, he married Sandra Magsig, raising two sons - one a small business owner in Arizona and the other is a pastor in Indiana.  Kirk and Sandy are also blessed with four grandchildren.  Following an internship in Portland, Oregon and seminary graduation, he served as pastor in Ohio and Michigan, assistant to the Bishop in Detroit working in the call process and conflict resolution, and the ELCA Church Council, before retiring in 2009 after 20 years at Trinity Lutheran Church in Midland, Michigan. In retirement, he continues to provide pastoral support to congregations and for the past 12 years, distributes a weekly essay called JUST WONDERING where he attempts to connect faith and life from his own experiences. Given his coronary artery disease resulting in two heart attacks and two by-pass surgeries, Kirk exercises daily as part of his routine.

There are times when we aren't paying attention, we might just miss a lesson. Kristen Theile is a person who often pays attention to what is happening around her, takes what she learns and runs with it. Kristen talks with Kara about her experiences helping those without homes and how they have helped shape her life. They also discuss how her love for service also lent her into experiencing first hand the sexist nature in beauty standards for women and how she keeps herself healthy and thriving through bodybuilding. Kristen is a Coordinator of Discipleship and Congregational Care at Prince of Peace Lutheran Church in Largo, Florida. Previously, she was a Youth and Children's Minister in outreach ministry in Las Vegas.  Her experiences include creating a youth ministry called Growth Through Service (GTS) where they ran a weekly park outreach meal program for middle school kids with food insecurities, a food pantry for youth, made 30,000 kits for people experiencing homelessness, Feel Good Fridays with the Nevada Partnership for Homeless Youth, and holiday meals for kids experiencing homelessness. GTS is a youth ministry that is socioeconomic diverse, racially diverse, and openly inclusive of LGBTQ+. Kristen has partnered with communities and helped to coordinate and lead mission trips in the states and internationally. She has spoken at many conferences for Women of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (WELCA) about Sex Trafficking, serving our neighbors, and creating ministry around serving.  In 2020, she and her former youth group spoke at a conference with Father Gregory Boyle from Homeboy Industries, the largest gang outreach ministry in the world, and is an organization GTS has worked with. Through her work she hears the call in Micah 6:8 -- “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? but to do justice, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”   If you want to reach out to Kristen, email her at theilek10@gmail.com

In this episode Kara takes a deep dive into consent with the author of the book, Creating Cultures of Consent, Dr. Laura McGuire. Dr. Laura is a Sexuality Health Educator, Adjunct Professor, Consultant and Speaker for The National Center for Equity and Agency, a Doula, Yoga instructor, and a survivor.  Not to mention she is also now getting her Masters in Pastoral Counseling. Through her lived experiences she knows first hand the importance of consent and how to talk about it through a trauma informed lens. Dr. Laura has worked with survivors and those who have been perpetrators to help educate around sexuality, consent, equity and inclusion.   Find out more about her here: www.drlauramcguire.com www.instagram.com/drlauramcguire www.linkedin.com/in/dr-laura-mcguire-276b87100 Dr. Laura spoke highly about the book: The Invention of Women By: Oyèrónkẹ́ Oyěwùmí www.goodreads.com/book/show/1161702.The_Invention_of_Women  

When Kara learned of Jaz and their ministry: Queerfully and Wonderfully made, she was very excited. Kara loves the use of storytelling and the arts in a form of connecting to others, especially when it comes to religion, healing, and sexuality. Jaz has found a way to utilize each of these to offer a healing space for the queer community who have been hurt from their religious community.  In this episode you will hear Jaz's story of learning about their sexuality and how it took a toll on their body to live into their truth. They talk about how it affected their faith life and the path it led them down to get to where they are today…awaiting ordination in the ELCA Lutheran church.   Jaz is a candidate in Word and Sacrament in the ELCA and is currently on staff at The Table OC in Fullerton, CA. In January 2019, they launched an LGBTQ+ centered ministry called Queerfully & Wonderfully Made, an inclusive space for LGBTQ+ people to explore faith in creative ways. When Jaz isn't manically obsessing over ministry and queer theology, they like to spend time bingeing documentaries with their gracious partner, Melanie, and their dog, Bowie. Learn more at Queerfully & Wonderfully Made