This is TAPT, Therapists Are People Too, honest conversations with therapists and healers about life's bull****. This is a podcast for therapists and healers who don’t have the space to talk about how they really feel about what they do and how it really affects them. This is a space for you to be seen and heard. This is a space to have conversations about how therapists and healers care for themselves while they do the work.
We share some personal updates...and spoiler alert...there's gonna be another TAPT wedding woo hoo!!! In this episode, we share how we're each handling our many transitions and challenges amidst many life changes. We talk about being in gratitude while also allowing space for the grief of what's changed and been lost. We discuss the loss of identity that comes from transitioning from singlehood into relationship life and how that can impact our independence. Frantzces reminds us that relationships require intentional work all of the time. We also discuss if integration is possible from your old single life into your new partnered life? Or if a new path needs to be trailblazed? There's sadness around taking this break for each of us, but it's not necessarily a bad thing! We hope to be able to come back stronger and more purposeful. We have agreed to touch base again in August to discuss the next steps for our dear TAPT podcast and community. We will use this space for renewal for each of us this Spring and hope to report back to our listeners in the Fall. We're grateful to all of our listeners for giving us space to be this vulnerable. And for hanging with us these past 5 seasons. We're proud of ourselves and each other for executing this idea and for our growing relationship with one another. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
Listen as we discuss the question, "Can therapists have light days?" And what does it mean to have "light days" in the work that we do? Therapists and healers carry a lot of emotional and mental weight when working with either clients or systems. Dive in as we explore when the shift happened for us in having more "light days" in our work. Learn what it means to incorporate lighter moments into your practice. Frantzces also shared what's in her internet browser as a self-proclaimed deep thinker. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. As a deep thinker and feeler, accept and walk through this world with a bit of heaviness 2. What does it mean to create more spaciousness in your life to balance light and heavier days? 3. Lightness comes after gaining professional experience and confidence- do we need to put in our “time." Although we challenge you to think about how you can create this rhythm into your life sooner. 4. The needle does move, especially when there are client insights and aha moments. For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss SEX! Listen as we discuss how to manage different conversations surrounding sex and intimacy. Especially when one of you wants to try new things and the other person doesn't want to. Or what happens when someone wants it all of the time? Dive in as we explore the differences in personalities, how do you work through someone who may have had more sexual experiences than you, and what if you have someone who's a bit more rigid than you? Learn what we believe is the foundation for a healthy sexual relationship. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. To have healthy sexual relationships it all starts with you doing the work. 2. Know what your boundaries are but be open to not completely shutting down all suggestions that your partner might make. 3. Sex and intimacy go hand in hand and if you're not having sex and you've tried everything else, maybe it's time to call it quits. 4. Ask yourself: what's going on with you that you're experiencing resistance around sex and intimacy? For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss loneliness and isolation. Listen as we explain the differences between loneliness and being alone, and how the imposed isolation resulting from the pandemic and its effects on our psyche. Dive in as we talk about experiencing loneliness throughout and after the healing process. Learn the importance of reclaiming yourself through loneliness and isolation. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Loneliness can come up whenever we feel alone, unwanted, or isolated. Some episodes are acute and others can be chronic and debilitating. 2. Purpose can be connected to having significance and belonging. Belonging to a group or family can alleviate feelings of isolation. 3. Recognize when loneliness can show up in your life- whether you are feeling alone in a crowded room and you don't fit in, or if the people around you are not supportive to and of you. 4. Ask yourself: is fear holding me back from creating and maintaining connections with others? How can I take calculated risks to move forward with having social connectedness to others? For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we ponder if it is possible to achieve happiness. Listen as we dissect what it means to be happy. We explore how do to respond to clients in their search for happiness, and how do you define happiness for yourself. Dive in as we think about what we would need to feel happiness and joy while also feeling centered and grounded. Feeling joyful is a natural state of being for us. We just have to find ways to make conscious decisions to feel it. So get up and do things that make you feel joy. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Happiness is the little collective pieces of joy that sustain us over time. 2. The question is not “will I ever feel happiness?” It's “how do I find joy now in this moment”. 3. Think outside of the box of what it means to be happy. 4. Expressing a range of emotions is healthy, refrain from labeling yourself as "emotional." It's a sign of being intuned and consciously aware of your feelings. It adds to the state of happiness. For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss passion and purpose: is it total bs or is it actually real. Can you actually achieve passion and purpose? Listen as we talk about whether you can live the lifestyle you want AND embrace your passion. Dive in as we question if money needs to be exchanged for work in order for passion and purpose to be deemed legit. We deconstruct the social conditioning of society to extract what is individually meaningful for all (any) of us. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. “Stop looking for your passion…follow your curiosity.”- Elizabeth Gilbert. 2. Passion and purpose together is an indicator of true alignment. 3. Challenge yourself: take 30 minutes a day to engage in exploration- purpose and passion and what drives you. 4. Find a community to get more support. 5. Risk prevents people from dreaming. For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss the impact of our upbringing and how the relationships with our parents/caretakers have shaped who we are. Some questions we answered were what do we want to take with us moving forward, what lessons did we learn and what are the things we know for sure that we want to leave behind. Lastly, we discussed how do we reparent ourselves in the midst of change and healing. Reflecting on how you were parented is important work to do. This determines what you take with you and what is left in the past. You can cut off a parental figure if that makes sense for you however, you still have to process that relationship. How did you change the narrative? We're you able to find meaning in your experience and turn it into something positive like Frantzces who keeps a clean home because of her somewhat OCDish aunt. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Blaming prevents us from healing, acknowledge the impact of past events so you can move forward. 2. Some of those experiences have taught you some ways to be self-sufficient. 3. You cannot deny that your upbringing shaped you. Everyone needs to reflect no matter what. Adverse childhood experiences have strong influences on us. 4. As we get older we have to find ways to reparent ourselves and to give ourselves what we didn't get in our childhoods. 5. Even with cutting off a relationship you'll still need to process that relationship and that separation. 6. Process EVER-REE-THING. Ask yourself are both of my feet planted in the present or is there one foot in the past and one foot in the future? For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss motivation and execution. Listen as we talk about what holds us back from accomplishing things and what gives us a spark to completing tasks. Dive in as we question if motivation is even a real thing, how the word is oversaturated and overused, and how people minimize the impact of motivation. Add the song “Go Big” by Big Sean to your new motivation playlist is Go Big by Big Sean. Thank us later. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Be mindful of how societal norms around motivation impact you. American society place pressure on folks to equate motivation with ambition, success, and money. 2. Being afraid to do nothing: it's ok to take downtime and rest. Counteract the pressure to always be on, to be an Olympian and superhero, and do it all. 3. Ask yourself: What underlying issues, patterns, and fears are really holding you back? 4. Do the work and engage in self-care. Dance to your go-to playlist. Give yourself grace. Binge-watch Netflix and chill the f**** out. For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss the advice that we would give to our younger selves. Listen as we talk about young adulthood, attending college, experiencing the quarter-life crisis, and developing independence. Dive in as we discuss obtaining mentorship from outside of the home, and the realization that we needed to have patience and that things happen for us when we are ready. The moral of the story: wake up and pay attention. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Stop people-pleasing and say exactly what you want and need. 2. Put yourself first in a way that doesn't harm others. 3. Engage in perspective-taking and consider the context. Things that may have happened back then really do not matter as much as you think that they do. 4. Redefine your life for how it suits you. Make decisions that make sense to you. 5. Acknowledge risk aversion and practice risk-taking because that is a part of life. For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss how we respond to other people's mental health problems. Listen as we talk about how we navigate when people come to us to dump their mental health narratives into us, and our struggles with setting boundaries with others in the workplace and in social settings. Dive in as we process how people can misread and misuse our superpowers as therapists and healers. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Dumping your narrative onto others can possibly leave you feeling vulnerable and fragile. 2. Set the boundary that feels right for you. Once you set the healthy boundaries stick to those limits. 3. Time and place matter. Read the room. For example, if co-worker dumping is occurring in a work setting then clearly make sure where you stand in the most empathetic and caring way that you can to others. 4. Consider how you can set energetic boundaries and also recognize that it's ok to advise others to go to therapy. I hear you and I also am guiding you to the more appropriate way of healing. For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
This week's episode talks about perfection and shame with our special host Clinical Social Worker and Child Welfare Superhero Seth Riker. Listen as we talk about how we have dealt with perfectionism, how it shows up in our lives, and how perfectionism impacts us positively and negatively. Dive in as discuss if perfectionism can lead to procrastination and the inability to move forward and let go. How in the world does Seth continue to find the strength to keep going in this field?! By finding the small successes with clients and families. #assetandstrengthsbasedmindset Key takeaways from this episode: 1. There is a spectrum of perfectionism that consists of insecurity, anxiety, and the perception of self-worth. 2. Check your ego at the door. Beware of making everything about you and avoid the messiah complex. You do not need control to fuel your inflated sense of self. 3. Don't give a shit about what other people think about you. Redefine what achievement and success look like for you. In other words: do you, boo. 4. Sometimes, things just don't matter, so learn to simply let something go. For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss how to move on from a breakup. Listen as we talk about tips and tricks to recognizing dysfunction, what lessons are learned after relationships come to an end, and identifying healthy characteristics of a healthy relationship. Dive in as we discuss the impact of self-worth and how your partner choices change when you start to love yourself. Emotional intelligence is a game-changer. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. You just block them. Do not engage in contact with the person once you have decided to move on. 2. The person does need love, but they don't need it from you. You are not responsible for someone else's happiness or healing journey. Let them go so that they can do the work and find themselves. 3. None of us are broken. We have not met our person yet. The right person will not make you feel broken and will not make you feel like you are the problem 4. Sometimes, your biology and mind have not moved on after a breakup, and sometimes you go through a withdrawal process. Don't get trapped in nostalgia. For questions and shareouts and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t-a-p-t/id1496705925 Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therapists.are.people.too/
In this week's episode, we discuss finding a great therapist and firing a terrible therapist. Listen as we share some life updates and our experiences with searching for therapists and engaging in therapy. Dive in as we discuss our characteristics of a great therapists and concrete strategies to assess the quality of the therapeutic relationship. And…did you all notice that happiness is the common theme in all of our lives? Tonika is no longer in the closet! Yaaasss! Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Take advantage of the free consultation that most therapists offer. You can get a feel of their energy. You can also read online profiles and focus on bios that resonate with you. 2. Capture your reflections by journaling your experiences with therapists you've seen. This helps you to know what works for you and what does not work for you. 3. You are in a therapeutic relationship with your therapist that should be respectful. Is the therapist attentive? Do they focus on your needs? Do they show up to the session on time? 4. Gauge how the therapist sets up expectations during the intake process. Which questions do you ask? Which questions do they ask you? How real can they get with you, and are they afraid to have uncomfortable conversations? 5. So, how do you break up with a terrible therapist? It feels awkward and uncomfortable, but you need to move on if you are not happy. With that being said…you should follow the Golden Rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. For questions and shareouts and further discussions, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
We couldn't let the season go without talking about our favorite topics: relationships and dating. We get a bit wild and uncensored in our very LAST episode for season 4 with this conversation about online dating and relationships in general. We tackle the question of why it's so hard to have a conversation of depth? And why people can't move past, "Hey beautiful." We even work through the insecurities behind the famous, "Did I scare you off" question. Much of the challenges of dating surrounds fear of commitment, anxiety, and many other factors, but what we realize is that it boils down to your own personal work. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Find ways to vibrate higher. You'll attract how you're feeling inside. If you're feeling insecure and fearful, then most likely you'll attract someone who's feeling the same. 2. Do the work. This is TAPT's mantra. But, you can't want what you can't give, so find out what your personal blocks are so that you can invite more beautiful relationships into your life. 3. Don't slide into people's DMs with inappropriate behaviors. Take a moment to read the room and respond or initiate accordingly. 4. If finding your person is taking longer than you'd like, well live your life, find your joy, and your person will come unexpectedly while you're out there shining. 5. Lastly, we can't say this enough but, be honest about the kind of relationship that you're looking for. If you want companion, then cool, that person might want that as well. Say what you want and you might just get what you want. For questions and shareouts and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss our thoughts about the Netflix movie White Tiger. Listen as we talk about the fictional story of the main character Balaram Halwai, whose life begins at servitude. Despite India claiming to be a country of democracy we witness the divisions between the caste and class systems and the impact it has on Southeast Asian society. This is an incredible film that has won numerous awards. The white tiger is a symbolic sign that represents power through conviction, individuality, shadow, and light. Which were all things that Balaram dealt with. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. When all the odds and the system are against you it's a matter of survival, but what happens when the constant hustling becomes a double edge sword? 2. How do you find the will to defy the odds when the stacks are set up against you from day one? 3. The caste system benefits too many people for anyone to change it, no matter how damaging it is to the psyche, the spirit, and the increase of the economic gaps. 4. Family can become culprits who are part of the system because of how deeply ingrained the conditioning is and what does it mean to step away from your family to branch out and live your dreams? For questions and shareouts and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week, we discuss procrastination after watching a Ted Talk by Tim Urban. Some person, Frantzces found on the world wide web. He shared some insights about his longstanding song and dance with procrastination. We may at times find it humorous when we procrastinate on things, but sometimes it could be a deeper issue. What is truly delaying the things that you know you must do or even would like to do? We also wondered if there was a "cure" for procrastination. Is this ingrained, or can you actually learn to procrastinate less? Nonetheless, there are levels to this game of procrastination that we play. Head over to Tim Urban's Ted Talk: Inside The Mind Of A Master Procrastinator. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Procrastination, especially when there are no deadlines. 2. There are levels of procrastination: more minor insignificant things to larger, more impactful things. 3. Is anxiety connected to procrastination? 4. How to prioritize that exhaustive to-do list and reduce the list. 5. Focus on what will move you in the right direction. 6. Outsource some tasks and create a budget that allows you to do that. 7. There might be underlying imposter syndrome, fear, learned avoidance: allow yourself to dig deeper to get to the root of the issue 8. Teach yourself how to eliminate distractions. Learn more about watching TED Talks on all of your favorite platforms. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss Carl Jung's theory on Shadow Work. Listen as we talk about understanding the unconscious parts of yourself and your psyche, and its similarities to doing inner child work, and spiritual and somatic work. Dive in as we discuss the process of accepting the "good" and "bad" parts of our lives and selves, and what is needed to engage in transformational change. Please invest in the work of Bessel Van der Kolk who remains the father and guru of deep trauma work. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Wait this is just therapy. Ask yourself: how do we become more comfortable with dealing with the hard stuff? Don't make it unattainable and unreachable but over-complicating the situation and overanalyzing the theory. 2. Be careful when reading information on the internet and so-called Shadow Work experts. This topic has become trendy now in our field and people are trying to make money off of vulnerable people. This is deep trauma work that needs to be done by an experienced license professional and healer. 3. Shadow is always within you, when you do the work, it minimizes overtime. 4. We are never experts and we are always in the work. You have to view yourself as someone in the trenches and a person that is always doing the work simultaneously as you are helping others. For questions and shareouts and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss what is home. Listen as we talk about what home means to us, and how that impacts how we show up in the world. Dive in as we hold a vulnerable conversation about the metaphorical and literal meanings of “home”. Where is your home base located in the world? Listen to Home by American Idol Season 11 winner Phillip Phillip @philphil Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Home is where you are being centered, and being grounded. Home is where the heart is. How is wherever you wanna be. Find peace wherever you are in the world. 2. Don't get swept up in other people's fears and judgments. Don't let them get in the way of what you're trying to do and how I'm trying to live. 3. Unwanted and unsolicited conversations about home and place of origin can be complicated for people of the diaspora. Look at the privilege you have in being able to claim a place like home. 4. Be a nomad! In some cultures, this is taboo, immature unstable behavior, and in other cultures, it is the social norm to go fly and spread your wings and be adventurous. For questions and shareouts and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss life after the degree. Listen as we talk about what our lives were like right after obtaining the MSW degree, having expectations versus not having expectations of ourselves as clinicians and the field's overemphasis on choosing a setting and a population. Dive in as we discuss our figure out current ways to customize our professional careers to suit our individual talents, interests, and strengths. Are we masochists or gluttons for punishment for staying in this field? Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Diversify your experiences. Get one school placement and one hospital placement with the goal of gaining experience in the higher-paying sectors. Don't be afraid to work in the hood, hood, hood. 2. Gain experience working for a child protection or adoption agency, group home, or a residential setting or in-home therapy work. You will develop strong clinical skills and crisis management skills. Everyone should have some community-based experience to develop a variety of skills. 3. This is hard ass work. Do not shy away from the uncomfortable and hard tasks and conversations with clients. Seek out mentorship and strong supervision to help you grow and to develop grit. 4. Listen to feedback others give you about your strengths and use them to your advantage. Talk to seasoned clinicians and healers to hear what is it really like to work in the field. 5. If you are burnt out then make the plan to exit. Take a break and rest, reevaluate, and reset. Pivot. Don't be afraid to move on. It is that simple. 6. Try to remember what got you into this field. Check-in with yourself and ask is what I am doing now still feeding me and my soul? For questions and shareouts and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss the concept of the Superwoman Complex. The dark side of the Superwoman complex is the fear of showing vulnerability. But at best, doing everything on our own is a recipe for stunted growth and, at worst, a path to burnout. Being continually caught up in the daily whirlwind often leads to losing perspective and a clear, current view of your market or field. Being head down all the time leads to isolation. As seasoned multitaskers, we too often put multiple families and business needs ahead of our wellbeing, which means support systems don't exist when an emergency arises. Asking other people for help is hard. Yet overcoming this behavior and its underlying fears is essential for personal and business growth. Key takeaways from today's episode: 1. Having a fear of vulnerability and overcompensating by being super independent can lead to burnout and stunted growth. 2. Having a head-down mentality to just focus on success can come at the cost of not looking up and seeing what you're missing, including connection with other people. 3. Our field adds an extra layer of pressure to be tough enough to hang. Any sign of weakness can be interpreted as not being strong enough or competent enough to be a "good social worker." 4. We can learn to set our boundaries. We don't always have to give, even if the people we are serving look like us. 5. Be conscious that no amount of accolades are enough for some of us. We may always feel like we have to overperform just to "make it" or be seen as good enough in a system of white supremacy. This tendency doesn't only apply to work. It also impacts our dating/marriage and other interpersonal relationships. Ask yourself what would happen if we didn't do everything or stopped being a "superwoman"? What would fall apart? Would it really? For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss resiliency. We share our experiences with the term in regards to our clients and our personal lives. What impacts resilience? Why do we need it and how do we build it? How do we become more resilient? Why are some people more resilient than others? Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Some people are born with an innate resilience ability. Whereas others have to "do the work" to cultivate a practice of staying with unwanted feelings to better understand them and to create meaning of adversity. 2. The word resilience has become a popular term that is often overused or misused. Some people have adverse feelings or reactions to the word because it can be used as a way to minimize people's hardships or experiences. 3. The universe often tests us with situations that push us to use our resiliency or gives us an opportunity to cultivate it. 4. Believing other possibilities exist and getting out of a victim mentality can push us towards using our resilience. Leaning on our tribe and therapy can be enormously helpful in getting through adversity. Resilience doesn't mean you have to do everything alone. 5. Building up armor and "bouncing back" can seem like someone is resilient but until you sit with the unwanted feelings and face them it will be hard to fully thrive. 6. Our spirits can become fatigued at times. Having self-awareness allows us to be conscious of when that happens. Accepting what you can control and what you cannot is important. Leaning on spiritual practices can help us find meaning and gratitude. 7. Everyone is in a different place. Don't provide unsolicited advice on how you got through something. If someone asks, great. But let people have their own process. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we continue to discuss how the Chauvin verdict and events surrounding it impact our work...and also how it impacts us personally. With our very FIRST guest host, Dr. Holly! She specializes in working with Black professional women who experience microaggressions in their workplace. Today we talk about our suggestions and perspectives on what needs to be done in order for us to heal. Key takeaways from this episode: 1) Dr. Holly argues that this is not our fight. How does racism become the responsibility of the victim? Sometimes it may seem easier to march than to spend your dollars towards helping the Black economy. 2) White people need to understand why violence has such a strong history in their culture from the crusades to colonialism to the genocide in the Americas and slavery. What is in the culture that presumes risk and acts out in violence pre-emptively? This deep psychological piece needs to be explored and better understood. 3) You can't really call yourself an ally until you know who you are. Our own deep inner work needs to be done to understand where we lie on the spectrum of racial identity development. Most Black and Brown folks know this simply because of our position in the world. White people need to do this as well. Tonika's one tip today for white folks is to slow down and first figure out who you are. "Get it together". 4) People are so often operating from a place of fear and rage. Protests are one place we can put those feelings. Though it's hard to do that from Costa Rica for Frantczes ;). But the harder work is to heal ourselves. Don't just run to do something, charged by white guilt. Look in the mirror and explore the feelings coming up inside of you. 5) Dr. Holly's one piece of advice today is that Black and Brown folks need to take our ass to therapy. "Just fucking get a therapist." We've experienced so much trauma and we need to work through it. And white people really need to be taught about white privilege in elementary school so that it can breed empathy. 6) Black and Brown folks know why we're scared...but why are white people scared? Most Black and Brown folks don't hate white people. We just want to be left the fuck alone so we can be great. If we really wanted to kill folks or have revenge, people like George Zimmerman wouldn't still be alive. 7) Tonika reminds us that there needs to be love amongst groups of color. We need to band together and work together. We can't be in silos. 8) It's hard for us to love on each other collectively if we can't love on ourselves. People who love themselves don't bring pain to other people. Today's conversation could have gone on for much longer, there's so much to talk about on this topic. Thank you Dr. Holly for joining us in this powerful conversation today. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen, Tonika and Dr. Holly :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss our reactions to the live television airing of the David Chauvin verdict. Yes, friends. We literally were recording during the live verdict. Listen as we chat about how the verdict is representative of accountability and not justice, and how we hold on to hope while trying to find inner peace for ourselves. Dive in as we end up asking ourselves a lot more reflective questions rather than providing any answers or solutions. In true TAPT fashion, our conversation is unscripted and unfiltered. Where are the action steps? Let’s have a strategic meeting and figure this out and move forward! Rest in Paradise Mr. George Floyd. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. We have chaos because we have a bunch of unhealed people in this world. Let’s help heal others one conversation at a time. The therapeutic work that we do is important and has its place in the process of healing the world. 2. We have not found safety in our own bodies and our own souls. We often carry around rage and aggression and do not understand how those strong feelings affect our bodies. 3. Are we booboo the fool and getting played, thinking that change is gonna come? Will racism ever be eradicated? 4. What happens if all people of color and marginalized groups up and leave America and become ex-Patriots. The country would collapse. Period. 5. I bet you have a newfound appreciation for that Sociology 101 course that you thought was such an easy class. Smh. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss client autonomy. Listen as we talk about DMX’s appearance on Iyanla: Fix My Life and his plea for decision making over his change process, and the moral and professional dilemma of directing clients with our agenda and when to step back and let the client lead the work. Dive in as we discuss our own preferred treatment modalities and clinical training, and the impact of our approach on our clients and their ultimate shift towards change. It's difficult watching our clients work their stuff out, when we often can see the trajectory of healing (or lack thereof) through their own process of healing. Rest in Power, DMX. We love you. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. The therapeutic alliance is everything and there can be a balance between directive and nondirective clinical work. The work with clients has to be intentional and always moving forward. So be mindful of your distractions, like constant note-taking during sessions, and of course, be present! 2. Please know that the client has a right to self -determination. Check your privileges and biases at the door. We are not here to save anyone and we definitely ARE here to respect someone’s journey. 3. Do not be afraid to “turn up the heat a little bit” at some point during treatment. Everyone is trained differently and our approaches can vary based on the population served. As therapists and healers, we can use many techniques to guide clients without prescribing the outcome of their treatment. 4. Remind yourself of the client’s identified goal and what they want to work on in treatment. Ask yourself: Why are they here? What is the discharge process? Continue to engage in conversations with clients that do not shy away from termination and monitor client progress. 5. Little people can co-create goals with us. They can plan, problem solve and it’s our job to guide them along. :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
We are back for Season 4! We have missed you all! In this episode, we discuss what we have been up to and what we have been doing since our Season 3 finale episode. In this episode, we discuss how we are dealing with the panini (Hee Hee Hee) and our plans as a brand, friends, and a podcast. Join us as we remind you all to continue doing the work, have fun, and remember that you were chosen to do this work. Wait. Oh. Snap. We may just have a guest speaker featured this season. Stay tuned! For questions and share-outs, and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Don't forget to give this podcast a 5-star rating! We appreciate ya'll. Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
This is our last episode of the season! We can't believe it's been a whole darn year that TAPT has been in motion. We appreciate all the support and response so far. So, we decided to switch things up a bit and do a TAPT Out Remix! We've put together a "hodgepodge" of clips that we've enjoyed throughout the seasons to share them with ya'll! Which episode is your favorite? Let us know! In the meantime, TAPT is taking a break (as we normally do) in-between seasons. We're thinking of creating a TAPT group, if that sounds interesting, click our link in our bio to add yourself to the list. This way you'll get notified when or if we decide to launch. Thanks for hanging out with us through 2020 and this crazy pandemic. See ya'll next year! For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss our personal reflections of the now historic year 2020, and our New Year’s reflections moving forward into 2021. Listen as we talk about the impact of Tiger King on your psyche and well being, what we have had to endure, and positive coping skills that we use to get through these tough times. Dive in as we discuss the finding moments of clarity and affirmation, and how everything eventually comes to the surface. And you know what?! We launched our podcast in 2020!!! Dreams do come true!!! Boom!!! #TAPT Don’t worry, about a thing... Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Think about the work that you have been doing, either with a therapist or through self-therapeutic practices, and how can you take it to the next level. What do you need to feel validated as a person and as a clinician? How can you help clients go deeper in session? 2. We are pretty damn resilient. Lean into using and accessing positive coping skills in 2021. This may mean continuing to engage in simple self-care, practicing patience, or maintaining faith in the face of adversity. We are a strong people and together we can get through it. 4. How are you going to remember this year and how will you put it into perspective? It could be the remembrance of welcoming a new baby nephew, going back to school to advance your career, or by moving to a new country for a new beginning. 5. As always, what are the action steps? Resolutions are synonymous with action steps. Choose 1-2 things to focus on and move into action. Built the habit first and build momentum to be active. Focus on Reconnection, reflection, repair, rejuvenation, and renew. Do the work. 6. Ask yourself: What is one word to describe the theme of 2020 for you? For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss attachment styles and our own experiences with reflecting on childhood and adult attachment styles. Listen as we talk about how attachment styles show up in various parts of our lives, how therapy can help you become aware of your own attachment style, and how attachment styles can change throughout your lifetime. Dive in as we discuss how painful it was for the three of us to have this conversation, the importance of creating a life outside of an intimate relationship and being able to be brave enough to...wait for it...do the work. Tonika’s rescue cat is a little less anxious and a bit more secure now. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Ask yourself: How do I strengthen the relationship with myself first so that I can strengthen my relationships with others? You must engage in constant reflection and ask for help. 2. Attachment styles can show up in certain areas of your life and/or in your most intimate relationships. It is possible to disrupt insecure attachment patterns in your life and move on to secure relationships. 3. Listen to us, three wise old women, when we tell you that anxious-avoidant relationships are toxic and unhealthy. The work is learning how to leave. Run. Away. At. Full. Speed. 4. Be a human, not a robot. We must help children make sense of attachment style and learn healthy ways of bonding with adults. Let us use formal training and also give children the nurturance that they deserve and need. Be that one person that shows up for a child. 5. We can’t even begin to talk about the correlation between attachment and co-dependency. We attempted to talk about it but...chile... For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss the pressures of the holidays and how hard it can be to say no to your family. No matter how much you get along with your fam, family time can be intense. It's easy to get caught up in all the guilt-tripping that happens around this time. A lot of us are tired of slaving in the kitchen even if it can be fun. By the way, give Sabeen her hot salted caramel hot cocoa mix throughout the year and not just during the holidays! Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Not everyone celebrates these holidays so be mindful of how you approach people during the holidays. Because not everyone has a healthy family dynamic and this isn’t a water cooler conversation. And in a lot of cases, not everyone has traditional family dynamics. 2. Make the holidays your own, don’t worry about what society says how you should celebrate. Taking care of yourself can mean not attending family gatherings. 3. Also, what's it like for people who are not Christians and the disparity between which holidays are celebrated and which ones are not celebrated? Hmm, what's that about...oh we already know. 4. Don’t be afraid to not follow the typical norms during the holidays and if you feel like doing your own thing, do it. Tonika’s about the tans. Sabeen & Frantzces are all about the travel. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we tackle the vulnerable subject of rebuilding trust in relationships. Listen as we talk about what can break trust in familial, platonic, and romantic relationships and how to rebuild trust with clients. Dive in as we discuss what makes us feel safe and protected, and a new wave of cancel culture, and how folks refuse to repair relationships when trust has been broken. Key takeaway for this week’s episode: 1. We can talk about trust without talking about communication. Whenever possible transparency is always they way to go. Tell others what makes you feel safe and secure. Acknowledge when someone has broken trust in the relationship with you. 2. Unpack what you have learned and how you have learned about trust during your childhood. Recognize signs of mistrust and secure bonds and attachment. 3. Start with trusting yourself and your instincts. You can tell a lot about how people react to things and how they behave. 4. Trust is a building process and it is not a black and white process. If you want meaningful relationships in your life then you have to practice trusting others and trusting yourself. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we tackle our journey through adult development in our thirties. Listen as we talk about our spiritual and emotional healing journeys, health and physiological changes, and discovering our passions and career goals. Dive in as we discuss and get deep about our relationship experiences, compromise and “that list”, self-esteem and self-worth, and adult development. Erik Erikson is the bomb. Key takeaways for this week’s episode: 1. This is your unique story and it’s kind of beautiful. It is okay that your life is not moving in a linear pattern. Let yourself just move where life takes you. Keep climbing that evolutionary staircase. 2. Breakups (friendship or romantic) are the best. What?! They are necessary for your growth. You get a better understanding of who we are, and very clear about our value system. 3. We love tacos, tacos, and tacos (and now made with vegan cheese). We also have more aches and pains now. No one likes to do lunges but we do need to exercise. We must invest in our physical health and wellness in order to remain healthy and energetic. 4. As you get older what is important to you becomes clearer. Friends become family. We feel the need to build community and interdependence and have meaningful relationships and connections with others. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss our thoughts about the Netflix limited series called Unorthodox. Listen as we talk about the true story of a woman named Esty who yearns to find herself, Esty’s transition into womanhood, and the impact of freedom and liberation on one’s mind, body, and soul. Dive in as we discuss the limitations of short television shows, and how it left us wanting more. Also? which accent is that, Sabeen?! What?! Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Some that identify with the main character may watch this series through the lens of protectiveness for Orthodox Jews. The “poor girl oppressed by her people and needing to escape” is an old trope. What does it look like to be raised in a culture that you do feel a part of? 2. Once again we become confused and disappointed that liberties have been taken to create a more dramatic and juicy storyline. Take some time to research Esty’s real-life story. 3. Some may see cultish and/or concerning elements within this story. The importance of preserving the Jewish culture and its values is, what is at the core of the plotline is the imbalance of preserving Jewish culture and values with an individual’s desire for a secular lifestyle. Did the rigidity of religious practice, philosophy, and ideology eliminate Esty’s soul? 4. The sexual education in this story was more progressive than what we have seen in society and of our own experiences. 5. We would love to see Esty’s rebirth and reclamation of her life. Can we get a Season 2? Please?! For questions and share outs and further please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss our post-election reactions Listen as we talk about our raw, real, and unfiltered feelings after the longest week on earth, how we are back to dealing with regular racism as opposed to the Trump racism, and how divided the American people are today. Dive in as we discuss how everything has a season and THAT season is over! And guess what homie?! You about to lose yo job! Check out Dr. Kiona’s post at @howtolivelikeabasicbitch about the nuances for people of color and marginalized groups and voting for Trump. Key takeaways for this week’s episode: 1. Today is a new day. Biden and Harris have arrived to save the day...right? Well...for one day everything felt okay. 2. You know what?! Being a social worker is political. So we are going to talk about our viewpoints and our political stance because there is not a separation between social justice and healing. Straight up. Point blank and period. 3. We can focus on the 50 percent that voted for that man or we can focus on the possibility of hope. Challenge yourself to bask in the moment albeit hard. It may take a little while but light will always prevail. 4. So sit back, pause, breathe, and do not forget to keep your eyes open and your eyes open. Pay attention to this new administration’s policy development and practices going forward. Stay connected and informed and of course woke (but not so woke that you cannot take a joke from Dave Chapelle). 5. Frantzces is still not coming back to live in the US. Whomp, whomp, whomp. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss self- sabotage and why we have a hard time accepting joy in our lives. Listen as we talk about the correlation between joy and vulnerability and how we have been accustomed to chaos or drama. Dive in as we discuss how culture and childhood experiences influence you. Watch out for your use of sarcasm because it can scare people away! Omg, we did not suggest a book, podcast, or anything else during this episode. No. Wait. We dropped our fellow social work sista Dr. Brené Brown @brenebrown and her groundbreaking work on vulnerability!!!! Key takeaways from this episode: 1. Try on the act of accepting compliments. Yes, it is an action and behavior to engage in in order to be able to hear healthy and positive feedback about yourself. 2. How can I lean into joy and accept it in small doses? Look for the everyday joys and let them permeate your life in a healthy and happy way. 3. Learn to appreciate and to express gratitude for what is going well in the moment. 4. Sit with the idea that to accept joy is also to be rooted in self- esteem and your sense of worthiness. 5. Look at how culture and your childhood experience shapes your ability to embrace joy and happiness. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram
In this week's episode, we discuss the major red flags to identify in relationships. Listen as we talk about online dating, communication styles, and identifying insecurities in a partner. Dive in as we discuss ghosting, gaslighting, and the power of intuition. It’s ok to do a needs assessment and a mental health status exam. That is our superpower as therapists and healers. Key takeaways for this week’s episode: 1. You ain’t that busy. Consistent communication is one of the most important factors in having a healthy relationship. Let someone know that you are busy and that you will get back to them. That demonstrates respect for the other person and intentionality in a relationship. 2. Watch what they say and then watch what they do. Behavior is a key indicator of how someone feels about you. Ghosting can happen to you very suddenly or after months of dating someone. People avoid hard conversations because that is easier for them. If you have been ghosted move on. Stop looking for closure because you probably will never know why you were ghosted. 3. Please, please, PLEASE watch out for gaslighting and narcissism. These are signs of emotional abuse and manipulation. It is usually subtle. Let’s stop trying to make excuses for other people’s behaviors. Let’s stop trying to turn them into people they are not. Move on. RUN. 4. Ask yourself: Am I l continuing to come across the same types of people? Who am I allowing into my world and why? Be aware of the other person’s patterns but also look at your own patterns. You have to take responsibility for your actions too. You can have grace for people that are trying hard to change. 5. Good luck. May the force be with you. Love always wins but...love yourself first then try to date. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
In this week's episode, we discuss our obsession with social media and how it impacts our lives. Listen as we talk about the Tik Tok rabbit hole, how we discovered the term “doomscrolling” and why we both love and hate social media. Dive in as we discuss our choices about who we follow and the impact of daily usage on our psyches, creepy algorithms, and giving up your right to privacy. You too, TAPT followers, should be obsessed with cat videos. Which social media platforms help you think, escape, laugh, and dance? We love @embracingblackculture @iamtabithabrown @djnice @hownottotravellikeabasicbitch @coffeemeetsbagel @overheardquarentinelife @glennondoyle Key takeaways from this episode: 1. You have choices about the types of platforms that you use and which accounts you choose to follow. Using social media to connect and engage with people is the original intent behind many platforms. So focus on that and your “doomscrolling” with be justified, right? 2. There are probably more positive reasons to use social media than negative reasons. Many people use social media to gain access to news and information around the world. Information and knowledge is power. 3. Now we are forced to “live online” for work and school purposes. Do not forget to take screen breaks by getting up and moving around and stretching. Also, do those blue light blocking lenses really work?! The jury is still out on this one but it will not hurt to buy a cheap pair and test them out. 4. Is it possible to erase your digital footprint? If you buy anything online well...it’s too late. No seriously if you’re willing to put time and money into hiring someone to help you then give it a shot. 5. You can’t follow Tonika’s personal page but follow her public page @ms_claiborneinthebldg as she documents this unprecedented year in education and counseling. :) For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
In this week's episode, we discuss the unfortunate and untimely passing of beloved actor Chadwick Boseman. This is a heavy episode for us, y’all. Listen as we talk about black excellence and representation in media, stepping into your life’s purpose, and living a full life. Dive in as we discuss medical racism and cancer diagnoses, facing your fears, and the power of human potential. Please check out the two documentaries that were mentioned in this episode: What the Health and Fork and Knife. Now go ahead and watch ALL of Chadwick’s movies. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. People do not always remember what you said but they remember how you make them feel. it’s how you make people feel. He just seemed like a good ass person. A genuine person with grace. 2. “You don’t have to have the same exact experience as a black actor as you do a white actor”. -Chadwick Boseman. He was upfront and acknowledged the racial discrimination and race-based trauma and oppression in Hollywood. 3. What is the meaning of legacy? We don’t know why Chadwick continued to work as hard as he did but we are grateful that he left behind an incredible body of work. Brown and black boys will forever be positively impacted and inspired by his roles and who he was a man. 4. Something has to change. Things MUST change. We need research on brown and black bodies and we need to change the managed care system. Black men must have colon cancer screenings prior to age 45. 5. The year 2020 has forced us to reflect upon the lessons learned. Live your life with purpose and to the fullest. Strive to be more compassionate, empathetic, and walk with grace. This is the time to stop and pause and think about how you will live your life with intention. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
In this week's episode, we tackle our favorite transformational practice: “doing the work”. Yes, we finally break down how we do the work! Listen as we talk about emotional intelligence, self- reflection, and the process of noticing and the process of slowing down. Dive in as we discuss the steps we take towards acceptance, engagement in self-evaluation, and how relationships start to change when you focus on holistic wellness. Ask yourself: Is “doing the work” actually working? Check out the books entitled How to be an Adult in Relationships and Five Things We Cannot Change by David Richo. Frantzces, can we PLEASE get that book list?! We have been patiently waiting for it. Key takeaways from this episode include: 1. Let us get back to the basics of self- love. We need to engage in therapy, create and uphold boundaries, take medications as prescribed, and spend time with ourselves. What are the actions steps that you take to heal and evolve? Self- love, and evolution should always be the focus and it will lead you to discover your best self. 2. The work starts with developing a relationship with yourself. You know what you should do, but you do not like the response that your intuition/ gut/ higher being is telling you. Create a healthy distance between yourself and others so that you can BE WITH yourself. You will discover what your core values are and you will trust yourself and your intuition more. 2. “True independence is interconnectedness”. The biggest thing you can achieve in life is to be vulnerable with people, but not at the cost of your happiness or well being. It is possible to take space and to also maintain a social connection. It is a balancing act. 4. Doing the work is a process of reflection and recovery. There is a certain level of acceptance that some days are harder than others. Focus on how you react and respond to others and do not take everything so personally. Also, look at that person with compassion and grace. Let go of the negative energy and experiences. 5. Be open to feedback and external cues that you receive from others, especially when you hear it multiple times. Try to receive the information and use it as a tool for self- reflection. Take into consideration that such information may possibly be true and real. This will help you grow. 6. The bottom line is to go ‘head and DO THAT WORK. Stay home and wear your masks and reflect. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we review the trending Netflix reality show called Indian Matchmaker. Listen as we talk about the concept and process of arranged marriages, why dating is like in the year 2020, and what it means, looks and feels like to date with intention. Dive in as we discuss colorism, the ranking system in South Asian countries, and the implications of dating a “hot” or a “boring” person. Hurry up and write that relationship book, Tonika! Key takeaways from this episode include: 1. We are all one step away from having a “When Harry a Met Sally” love story. Well, unless you have an arranged marriage. Relationships, whether arranged or not, often start off being focused on physical attraction and what each person brings to the table. They have the potential to grow into long term love based unions when both people are invested in one another. 2. You must first be ready for marriage if you want and plan to get married. If you are not committed to partnership and marriage internally then you are not being your authentic self. Be honest with yourself about what you actually need and want. Do not waste someone else’s time. 3. To be clear: The use of the word “boring” is a friendly euphemism for “ready” (for a relationship). Chemistry makes a difference whether it’s for love or arrangement only. You must have a great personality and be genuinely interested in joining with another person. Discover which partner you want in your life and lean in. 4. Do not forget that this is a reality show and of course there were creative licenses taken to entice and to engage the audience. Indian Matchmaker is very entertaining and it is also thought-provoking about dating and long term relationships. We cannot wait for season 2! For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we tackle the important topic of personality types including introverts, extroverts, ambiverts, and highly sensitive people (HSP). Listen as we talk about how personality type impacts work with clients and relationships in our personal lives, misconceptions about introverts, and the importance of recharging and preserving energy. Dive in as we discuss how to stay true to oneself and to be authentic and real. Thank you, Frantzces, for yet another book for us to read! Check out the book Quiet by @susancainauthor. Key takeaways from this episode include: 1. Introverts have to have boundaries for self-preservation. It is perfectly fine of introverts to need and take space. 2. Ensure that both extroverts and introverts have a voice and feel safe and supported, especially when you work with children. 4. We are thinking of you, extrovert, and how you are managing your mental health needs during these COVID times. Try to find creative ways to socially interact and get your recharging needs met. 5. Please avoid labeling clients as introverted or extroverted, and instead focus on their characteristics and needs. This will help provide clarity for clients who may be struggling with understanding their identity and experiences, what drives them. This will help them to develop self-care plans. 6. Do not be afraid to speak your mind and to share your feelings about how the actions of others impact you. This is great advice to follow no matter how you describe yourself or how you walk in this world. 7. Be authentic. Learn more about yourself. Everything is an extension of you. When the head is sick the whole body is sick. Love yourself and take care of yourself. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we process Krista Tippett’s interview with Therapist and Trauma Specialist Resmaa Menakem, and Resmaa’s work on somatization and racialized trauma. Listen as we talk about the interview’s highlights around diversity, equity and inclusion practices and facilitation, intergenerational trauma, and the development of and the impact of white culture on the world. Dive in as we discuss how this podcast has inspired us to continue doing the work on ourselves and how to inform others and strengthen our work with clients. Check out Resmaa’s book entitled “My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies. Please, please and PLEASE check out the podcast @onbeing with Krista Trippett and the episode on 6/4/20 titled “Notice the Rage; Notice the Silence” with @resmaamenakem. It is enlightening for all people of all races and cultures and all therapists and all healers. Key takeaways from this episode include: 1. Historical facts, storytelling, and the use of radical language shapes how people understand what is happening in the world and to understand the behavior of others. 2. Notice your rage and notice the silence within your body. Pause to feel the discomfort. Do not exit the conversation or the work too early. Watch out for the performative behaviors that prevent you from being uncomfortable and working on yourself. 3. Diversity and inclusion work does not and should not in any form or fashion include Taco Tuesday and or staff happy hour. You know what? When in doubt just go ahead and hire Resmaa. 4. People of color have to go deeper. We need to do our own healing and our own cultural work. We have to figure out our own shit, internally, first so that we can be ready for change and freedom. Mental health matters. 5. Yes, we need to continue pulling back the onion layers and uncovering what we need to focus on to do the work. S*** we have so much work to do... 6. To paraphrase Resmaa: “shut up and check your impulses.” Mic drop. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we chat about the Hulu show, Ramy. Spoiler alert! Listen as we talk about how an Egyptian-Muslim family is boldly depicted, how ridiculous the character, Ramy, behaves with everyone in his life, and how it exposes many skeletons in the closet about his Islamic beliefs and actions. Dive in as we discuss how the show is the "most Muslim show" and highlights the impact of immigration, sacrifice, manhood, and spirituality within the Muslim culture. Watch out for Muslim f***boys. You've been warned. Check out Frantzces showing off her clinical skills. She is fire. Ramy, Seasons 1 and 2 are available on Hulu. Key takeaways from this episode include: 1. Is Ramy just a glorified people pleaser? Ramy is stuck in adolescence and attempting to move towards adulthood with epic failure. Such failure is the result of his inability to live in his truth and from constantly engaging in performative behavior. To be grounded in spirituality and transcendence is a slow journey, and it should be taken very seriously. Now that it's evident that Ramy is not ready for said journey, what will happen to him during Season 3? Stay tuned. 2. Remember that art imitates life, but it can be exaggerated. You can hate the character Ramy and still recognize and acknowledge the cultural significance and accuracy of this show. You can also be equally critical of the depiction of stereotypes, explicit sex, and exoticism for comic relief and appeal. Remember that Hollywood is still predominately run by wealthy white men, and they ultimately decide what will air on tv and streaming devices. By the way, Ramy received a 2020 Golden Globe Award for Best Comedy Actor. 3. Muslims are not a monolith, and many people of different races and ethnicities are devout and serious about their faith. This show is not a representation of all Muslim people. We hope that this paved the way for more culturally appropriate and accurate Muslim shows and stories in the future. For questions and share outs and further discussion, please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we chat about money, money, and money. Listen as we talk about how we discuss our individual relationships with money and worth now as a healer, and question how we are getting compensated for our gifts. Dive in as we discuss how childhood experiences, culture, and privilege shape your money story, how to use money as an exchange of energy, and how to shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance. So where are those six-figure clinical jobs? They exist but you may need to create your own job and lane. Thank you, Frantzces, for the book reference. Let us all check out You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth by @jensincero. Key takeaways from this episode include: 1. Please save your money and also learn to have fun with money. Create a “fun bucket” to enjoy life now without feeling guilty about spending money on ourselves. You work hard so you should play hard. 2. When you think your our own experiences and experiences of your clients, please consider the impact of culture, privilege, and access. Poverty is a result of systemic racism, inequity, and lack of access to resources and opportunities. Encourage clients to discuss their money stories and assist them with gaining access to opportunities to shift their financial status. 3. Shift towards adopting an abundance mindset and living your best life. Take small steps and do not be afraid to charge what you are worth. So yes, go ahead and raise your rates if you deserve it and have abundance goals. 4. Think about the lifestyle you want to live and explore how you can create the work around it. If travel brings you joy, then plan how you can work remotely from anywhere around the world. If owning property and building generational wealth are priorities, then plan how you can live beneath you means for now so that you can “make it rain” later in life. 5. How are you maintaining your values and morals while collecting checks? Are you spending more time with clients that are higher on the sliding fee scale and less time for others that really need the support and access to services? Discover your money philosophy. Find a balance between charging a fair price and how much you are worth. 6. Passive income! Please write that book, create that course, take on some private clients, etc. There are so many ways to make money in this field. Go and get your money. Right. Now. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we chat about the importance of traveling as a self- care strategy. Listen as we talk about how travel heals the mind, body and soul, tips on how to travel internationally and traveling solo, and how to advocate for your self- care needs with your employer. Dive in as we discuss wild and real experiences of our own and the lessons learned, and the safe possibilities of traveling during COVID times. We deserve to be taken care of and let us know if you are interested in attending an international retreat planned by...us! Please check out Frantzces’ other podcast @chronicles_abroad. #plug Key takeaways from this episode include: 1. We acknowledge that traveling is a privilege. Yes, you need to consider your current profession and lifestyle. Now let’s shift your mindset: Can you create a sabbatical policy of your own? There are affordable ways to travel. Research the options that will make traveling work for you. Discover the world travel culture. Do not let the limited western world view and assumptions prevent you from learning about the rest of the world. 2. Travel will demystify what the world looks and feels like looks like and it humanizes the experience for you. People are generally good people and are kind and genuinely generous with travelers. Don’t let your Aunt Candice divert you from fulfilling your travel dreams. 3. Reconnect with yourself, reset and reconnect, and adjust. Travel is a great self-care option for social workers, therapists, and healers. It gives us the ability to not feel obligated to other people while we take care of ourselves. “Get your spa on” oversees because the services are cheaper and of better quality. Treat yourself! 4. Travel can also be hard. You may be faced with adversity and undesirable experiences. These hardships experienced are tests of your resiliency and strength. Try to focus on the lessons learned and the positive experiences and personal growth. 5. How can you work from abroad? FYI. You can work from “home” in Thailand and eat a fresh and full meal for $1. Pause and let that sink in concept sink in. You may even be able to get an apartment with a pool and amenities to your liking. 6. Start small within your backyard. Get your feet wet by traveling domestically either solo or with others. Explore in more familiar places first to practice doing things alone and looking for deals. Get referrals from others that have already traveled internationally. The point is...just do it! For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we tackle the very issue of dealing with imposter syndrome. Listen as we talk about how negative self-talk and psychological patterns affect our self-esteem and self-image and can prevent us from stepping into our purpose and thriving. Dive in as we discuss real experiences and strategies of how to deal with imposter syndrome head-on. Thank you, Frantzces, for the referral to business executive Seth Godin’s ideas on imposter syndrome. And shout outs to entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk. Key takeaways from this episode include: 1. Create a brag book. Write down your brags and wins for the day and celebrate your gifts and talents. It is a growth mindset game changer. 4. Please seek out “borrowed belief”. Whom do you know that you can borrow their belief in you? Do not be afraid to lean on borrowed belief to start your process. It may be enough to get started and moving forward. 6. This is not about you. It’s about what your contribution is to this world and being proud of that contribution. There are people that need it and need you. 7. Imposter syndrome is a part of life. Ask yourself: What kind of relationship can I build with myself to prepare to deal with imposter syndrome when it creeps up? Take a breathe and acknowledge what is creeping in. Learn to get comfortable with uncertainties around risk-taking, and how you approach it. 8. We are all imposters so just go out there and do it! For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we tackle the very real call to action to defund the police, and how to maintain sustainability of the Black Lives Matter movement. Listen as we talk about restructuring law enforcement systems, what activism can look like, and how to maintain healthy mental health while being a part of the movement. Dive in as we discuss the give tips to prevent burning out from social justice work and activism and the mindset shift from holding high expectations and results to a focus on the commitment to do what is right at this moment. Key takeaways from this episode include: 1. Defunding the police and dismantling belief systems are not new concepts. Law enforcement officers are taught to dehumanize people and see people as the enemy. Just fire everybody. Fire everybody. Let’s start over. 2. It helps to have genuine white allies. White folks who are firm in their conviction to align with people of color can and should speak up against injustice when people of color need to rest. We, as people of color, are exhausted. 3. You have to start somewhere with your activism. It is okay to stop and restart. Often. Accept that this shift is slow and is a part of the process. All of this activism work is going to look different for everybody. 4. Take care of yourself first, then do what you can to support the community. Prevent burn out and always engage in self-care. You are on the front lines of activism and you need to refuel to keep going. 5. We must find and/or create the spaces. We heal with the community and cultural connections. Find the way that you heal with others and then take space for yourself. 6. AGAIN, what are the action steps? If funding and resources will be reallocated please outlined this plan and be specific. 7. Please watch the series The Wire. Not once but twice. Thank you, Tonika, for the suggestion. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we tackle the very real and current issue of corporations and companies jumping on the bandwagon and supporting the Black Lives Matter Movement. Listen as we break down specific action steps that can be taken to create safe spaces for the black and brown community. Dive in as we discuss the use of affinity groups, the NFL, and how to best use hiring practices and policies in spaces where social workers, therapists, and healers for the work. At the end of the day, it’s about being seen, being heard, being a human being, and being safe. This whole movement is about being pro-human. Period. Key takeaways from this episode include: 1. Hire consultants to come in and facilitate deep conversations to unpack bias and privilege and to develop anti-racist, diversity and inclusion practices. 2. Survey employees and staff about what they want to see happen and change. Black people are not a monolith. You need to respect that people are in different places in their anti-racist work and with racial identity development. 3. Move into the stretch zone and stay there for a while. Get out of the comfort zone. Corporations and companies need to step it out and support Black-owned businesses and organizations and activists with confidence. 4. What are the action steps? We need the receipts and the strategic plan that outlines your commitment to an inclusive and anti-racist organization. Be specific where you are donating your money. 5. Per the usual, it’s all about the Benjamins. Ask yourself: are you willing to take a stand with the possibility of losing social media followers, friends, stakeholders, and financial supporters? 6. What up Kap. We see you. Thank you... Jay-Z? 7. As always, continue to do the work. Tonika is rolling her eyes as you read this sentence. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
We address the very important issue of opening the U.S. back up, despite new cases and new deaths due to the Coronavirus. Listen as we get cynical (lol) but real, and discuss the concerns about educational opportunities gap widening, and divide between low-income people and the super-wealthy. Dive in as we discuss power and privilege are prioritized over scientific facts about infectious disease. Thank you, Sabeen, for the suggestion to check out the Netflix show called Patriot Act with Hassan Minaj. Let us all watch it. Key takeaways from this episode include: 1. Three mantras to use: one day at a time- that’s all we got, this too shall pass and it is okay to not be okay. 1. What in the world are we going to do in the Northeast if we cannot go outside this summer??!! Stop it. We will be ok and stay inside, and take one for the team and for the community. 2. Clinical trials are currently underway in the quest towards developing a coronavirus vaccine at some point. Yay or Nay? Google The Tuskegee Experiment. 3. Every day is a new day. Every day is a different day. How do you decide how to show up each day? Utilize your existing self-care techniques with some adjustments. Please follow your routines and protect your energy. 4. People need immediate and continuous financial support to get through this period in time. Be creative and think outside of the box on how to survive and take care of your mental health. 5. This is a spiritual awakening. Pause. Look inward and do the work. We will have a new world after this virus is eradicated. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we tackle the very real issue of therapists and healers needing support, as they work with others during these uncertain times. Listen as we discuss our personal feelings regarding supporting clients during the pandemic, and the police brutality and murders within black communities in America. Dive in as we discuss the pros and cons of ex- patriotism and finding solace, respite, and acceptance as people of color around the world. Shout out to Marcus Garvey and St. Lucia. Key takeaways from this episode include: 1. Some of us need a therapist of color that is smarter than us and that is 10 steps ahead of us. The question is: where are they in the world? Discover the criteria in which you use to discern whom you speak to about your thoughts and feelings and when you are “shopping for therapists”. 2. America was built on Native land at the hands of people of color to cultivate said land. Brown and Black people need to work together and get on the same page. They are tired of being invisible and forgotten as though they don’t exist. Brown and black people deserve to be seen and heard. Period. 3. The space that we need is what we create for ourselves. Consider a creative menu of various supports for yourself, which can include having more than one therapist and a strong peer network that you can trust. 4. People of color have been forced to be resilient and to keep going. It is literally in our DNA. Yet this is unacceptable. We should be allowed to take a break and not show up. This is a crisis in humanity. Racism is a public health issue. Racism is a systemic issue. 5. We, as people of color, are not obligated nor should we be responsible for holding space or telling white allies how they can address racism. WE are not taking of YOU. It is the responsibility of white folks to do the individual internal work and then collective work amongst each other. Then you can align and walk with people of color on the front lines. 6. Are you hopeful that real, honest, and genuine social change is possible in our lifetime? Can we move towards developing a culture focused on empathy and humanity and humility? 7. Thank you, Frantzces, for the movie suggestion. Let’s add the movie called The Banker our streaming lists. You can support these organizations. Minnesota Freedom Fund collects resources for direct bail for people protesting these injustices and who get arrested: https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/donate Reclaim The Block is organizing to divest from the MN police department and move us toward effectively/sustainably living in a police-free world: https://secure.everyaction.com/zae4prEeKESHBy0MKXTIcQ2 Black Visions a Black, queer, and trans-led organization dedicated to liberation through lenses of healing- and transformative justice: https://secure.everyaction.com/4omQDAR0oUiUagTu0EG-Ig2 North Star Health Collective is a team of medics helping take care of folks protesting in the streets: https://www.northstarhealthcollective.org/donate Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
In this week's episode, we discuss our thoughts about the hit Hulu limited series called Little Fires Everywhere. Listen as we discuss the impact of everyday racism and micro and macro aggressions on our mental health. We also discuss motherhood and mothering, and the desperate actions one may take to have a sense of belonging and to be loved the way that they want to be loved. Thank you, Frantzces, for “forcing” us to watch this show. Stay tuned for Season 2!!! Key takeaways from this episode include: 1. Take the time to identify where you are in your racial identity development Be mindful and aware of how your racial identity development phase impacts your perception of the world and people who differ from you. 2. Whatever you do in the dark will always come to light. Little Fires eventually become one big fire. Find the courage to live your truth. 3. This is a reminder to us all that children are resilient. As long as a child has one person to connect to that cares and empowers them, they will grow and flourish into adulthood. 4. Do you watch “social work” movies on your days off? Please remember to find a balance between watching intense dramas and documentaries with comedies and light-hearted entertainment. 5. We love you Olivia Pope and we love you Kerry Washington. We love you Jesse Williams. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram
In this week's episode, we tackle the very real issue balancing work and life as a therapist and healer. We dissect what happens to us in our normal lives, and focus on humanizing ourselves. Things that came up are, what happens when we see our clients IRL (in real life), and what helps us remain grounded and healthy. Key takeaways from this episode include: 1. How to move while working in the community you live in. 2. We also can't seem to stop talking about dating as therapists. 3. How self- care and spirituality shows up for us. For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at therapistsarepeopletoo@gmail.com. Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real. -Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :) Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram.
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