Encouragementology

SHOW NOTES: On this show, we're talking about what it really means to find your voice—without dragging along the guilt trip. Maybe you've been biting your tongue, nodding when you mean to shake your head, or saying “sure” when every fiber of your being is screaming “no!” Sound familiar? You're not alone. So many of us, especially the people-pleasers and peacekeepers of the world, have been taught to smooth things over rather than speak up. But here's the thing—your voice matters, and your truth deserves airtime. Now, I'm not talking about shouting from the rooftops or steamrolling over others. This isn't about turning into someone you're not. This is about tuning into your own inner frequency and having the confidence to let it come through—clearly, calmly, and guilt-free. Whether it's saying no without a 10-minute apology, standing up for something you believe in, or simply expressing your opinion without second-guessing yourself, this episode is for you. Let's explore the sticky stuff that keeps us quiet—and learn how to speak up with grace, confidence, and self-respect. Let's start by defining the core ideas behind this episode—because “finding your voice” can mean different things depending on where you are in your personal journey. At its essence, finding your voice is about recognizing your thoughts, beliefs, and needs as valid—and having the courage to express them. It's about being authentic, honest, and clear, without feeling like you need to water yourself down to make others comfortable. Now let's talk about why we don't. One big reason? People-pleasing. This behavior often stems from a fear of rejection or conflict. If you grew up in an environment where keeping the peace meant keeping quiet, then you might equate speaking up with being “too much” or “too selfish.” Over time, that internalized guilt becomes the bouncer at the door, turning away your opinions before they ever make it to the surface. And then there's the Guilt Trip—that little voice in your head that says, “You should just let it go,” or “Don't make this a big deal,” or “You're probably overreacting anyway.” But that guilt isn't always a moral compass; sometimes, it's just conditioning. A signal that you've been taught to value harmony over honesty, even when honesty is exactly what's needed. We also need to clarify the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness. Speaking your truth doesn't mean shouting others down. Assertiveness is respectful communication—it's saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and doing so in a way that doesn't trample over someone else's experience. That's the sweet spot: clarity without cruelty, directness without drama. So, if you've ever struggled to say “no” without giving an entire TED Talk in justification, or if you've nodded through conversations where you disagreed silently, just know—this episode is here to help you build that muscle. You're not wrong for having an opinion. You're not bad for needing boundaries. And you're certainly not selfish for speaking your truth. Stop the Guilt: 3 Ways to Take Back Your Power to Say No When Guilt Keeps You From Setting Boundaries 5-Minute Guided Meditation to Find Your Voice and Speak Your Truth CHALLENGE: Stop waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect words, or the perfect response—and just start speaking your truth. Not to please, not to appease, but to honor your own voice and values. I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show… we're exploring the sneaky ways we lose control—without even realizing we've handed it over. Have you ever found yourself doing something—again—and thinking, “Why do I keep doing this?” Maybe it's late-night scrolling, that one more drink, the need to say “yes” when you're screaming “no” inside. These patterns creep in, settle down, and before you know it, they've built a little nest in your life. We call them habits, but sometimes, they're more than that. Sometimes they're hangups, hurts, or full-blown addictions masquerading as routines. And here's the kicker—they don't just take up space; they slowly take the wheel. What if you're not as in control as you thought? What if what you think is manageable is actually managing you? Today, we're going deeper—not to shame or scold, but to shine a gentle light. Because denial is tricky. It whispers that you're fine, that it's not affecting anyone else. But the truth is, what controls you, changes you. It touches your relationships, your work, your peace. And the hardest part? Admitting it. Facing yourself in the mirror and saying, “This isn't working anymore.” But here's the good news: awareness is the first, most powerful step toward freedom. So today, we're cracking open the doors of truth with compassion, curiosity, and a roadmap to reclaiming your power. Before we can take control back, we have to understand what we're really dealing with. So let's break it down. Habit vs. Addiction A habit is something we do regularly, often without thinking—like brushing your teeth or making coffee first thing in the morning. Habits can be helpful, neutral, or harmful. They're built through repetition and reinforced by small rewards (hello, dopamine!). On the other hand, addiction takes things further. It's compulsive. It's often used to escape, numb, or gain relief. And it continues despite negative consequences. The line between habit and addiction can blur, especially when the habit becomes something we rely on emotionally or physically. Denial and Self-Deception Denial is a powerful defense mechanism. It protects us—from shame, fear, discomfort—but it also keeps us stuck. When we're in denial, we minimize, rationalize, or outright ignore what's happening. We say things like “It's not that bad,” “I can stop anytime,” or “It's not hurting anyone.” But these lies we tell ourselves can build a wall so thick that even when we're suffering, we can't admit we need help. The longer we stay there, the harder it is to see a way out. The Grief of Letting Go Yes, grief. Because even when we're giving up something toxic, we're still letting go of something familiar. This is where the Five Stages of Grief come into play: Denial – “This isn't a problem. I've got this under control.” Anger – “Why do I even have to deal with this? It's not fair.” Bargaining – “If I only do it on weekends, that's fine, right?” Depression – “I feel helpless. I'm tired of trying and failing.” Acceptance – “This is real, and I'm ready to do something about it.” We grieve because we're changing. We're letting go of the version of ourselves we thought we needed—and that's not easy. But it is powerful. The Invisible Impact Here's the truth: you don't live in a vacuum. Whatever is controlling you—whether it's overworking, people-pleasing, numbing, or isolating—it doesn't just affect you. It impacts your energy, your presence, your relationships, and your potential. The scary part? You might not even know the full extent until you start making a change. Habit vs Addiction: Understanding the Difference The 5 Stages of Grief and Addiction REWIRE YOUR BRAIN - Neuroscientist Explains How To Control Your Mind in MINUTES!   CHALLENGE: Name what's been silently calling the shots in your life—whether it's a habit, a hurt, or a hang-up—and meet it with honesty instead of avoidance. Then, take one small step toward releasing its grip, reminding yourself that you are not powerless, you are in progress.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show… we're giving ourselves permission to embrace progress—not perfection—as we unpack what it really means to be a work in progress. That nagging feeling that you're somehow behind in life? Yeah, we're going to challenge that head-on. Because maybe you're not off track at all… maybe you're right on time for your own becoming. Have you ever looked around and thought, “Wait, am I the only one who doesn't have this whole life thing figured out?” If so, you're in good company. Today, we're tossing out the illusion of perfection and replacing it with something more honest—grace. We're rewriting the script that says we have to have it all together by now. Growth is rarely a straight line, and often looks like detours, backtracks, and a lot of figuring-it-out-as-we-go. And you know what? That's progress too. Let's start with the pressure-packed elephant in the room: the idea that by a certain age, milestone, or calendar year, you should have it all figured out. You know—career locked in, relationships thriving, finances flawless, personal growth tied up with a vision board and a bow. But here's the thing: that timeline? It's mostly made up. There is no one-size-fits-all path to life, and the myth of “being behind” is usually just a snapshot of comparison dressed up as truth. At its core, being a work in progress means allowing yourself to exist in a state of growth—unfinished, evolving, and completely valid. It's understanding that who you are today is not the final version of you, and that's not a flaw… it's the point. But we often confuse progress with perfection—as if our worth hinges on having reached some invisible finish line. The truth is, progress is messy. It's filled with doubts, mistakes, detours, and sometimes a hard reset. But it's also evidence that you're showing up, learning, stretching, becoming. Let's define a few key terms that will guide this conversation: Progress: A forward or onward movement toward a destination—even if that movement includes baby steps, backslides, or breathers. Self-compassion: Treating yourself with kindness when you fall short, instead of defaulting to criticism. Reinvention: The courageous act of choosing again. New path. New dream. New you. Comparison trap: That sneaky voice whispering “you should be further along” based on someone else's highlight reel. It's all about embracing grace. The grace to change. The grace to learn. The grace to say, “I'm not where I want to be…yet—but I'm still becoming.” Progress Not Perfection Is a Reasonable Goal Stop Comparing Yourself Negatively to Others This is a Poem about Perfectionism by Ginelle Testa The Problem With Perfect - Motivational Video CHALLENGE: Trade perfection for progress and meet yourself with grace in the messy middle. Don't wait until you feel “ready”—start now, with what you have, and who you are, because the journey only begins when you do. I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are going to stick to reading the chapter we're on by embracing the present in life's ongoing story. Have you ever found yourself mentally rewriting chapters of your past or trying to peek ahead at pages you haven't reached yet? It's human nature to replay moments we wish had gone differently or to worry about what's coming next. But while we're busy editing old plotlines or predicting future twists, we miss out on the beauty and clarity of the chapter we're actually in—the one unfolding right now. This week, we're exploring what it means to truly read the chapter you're on. No skipping ahead, no flipping back, just being present and fully engaged in this current moment of your life. As seasons shift—both outside our windows and inside our souls—we're faced with transitions that can stir anxiety, grief, anticipation, and hope. Maybe you're watching loved ones age, adjusting to a new phase of your career, or coming to terms with blessings that also carry weighty responsibility. Today, we're going to explore how to stay grounded in the now while honoring where you've been and where you're going. So grab your favorite journal, take a deep breath, and let's begin reading…right where you are. Let's start by defining what we mean when we say, “Read the chapter you're on.” It's more than a catchy metaphor—it's a mindset. Just like reading a book, life unfolds one chapter at a time. But unlike a novel, we don't get to flip ahead or rewrite the past. Yet many of us try. We revisit regrets, get stuck in nostalgia, or anxiously attempt to predict and plan for a future we haven't reached. And when we do that, we lose our place in the present. The Illusion of Control We often try to manage uncertainty by overplanning or ruminating—believing that if we just think hard enough, we can control the outcome. Spoiler alert: we can't. While planning and reflection have their place, they become distractions when they rob us of the ability to fully engage with what's happening right in front of us. The Power of Presence Being present doesn't mean ignoring your past or avoiding your future. It means recognizing that this moment—right now—is the only place where action and awareness can occur. This is the chapter where your growth is happening, your relationships are deepening, and your story is taking shape. Life's Seasonal Shifts Just like nature, we experience seasons: beginnings, growth spurts, stagnation, harvests, and even endings. These aren't just age-related; they're emotional and spiritual seasons too. Recognizing the chapter you're in allows you to meet it with curiosity instead of resistance. Are you in a chapter of learning? Rest? Rebuilding? Joy? When we know what season we're in, we can better understand what's being asked of us. Living in the present is not about staying stuck—it's about giving your full attention to where you are so you can move forward with clarity and intention. Once you identify the chapter you're in, you can start to ask the important questions: What is this chapter trying to teach me? How can I grow here? What do I want to carry forward—or leave behind—when the page turns? How Present-Moment Awareness Can Make Life More Meaningful These 6 mindful ‘micro-practices' can help you be calmer and happier, including 3 you can do at work Surrendering to the Present Moment | Eckhart Tolle Teachings CHALLENGE: Slow down and truly inhabit the moment you're in. Stop flipping pages in your mind and instead, take a breath, read the chapter you're living—savor the words, the lessons, and the blessings right here, right now. I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are breaking free from the weight of old mistakes by unpinning ourselves from our past. Ever feel like no matter how much you grow, your past keeps showing up like an old playlist you didn't ask to hear again? You're finally moving forward—changing your habits, setting boundaries, maybe even feeling hope—but suddenly, wham, a memory, a regret, or a “what-if” slams into your progress like a closed door. I recently came across this line in a book that hit me right in the heart: “I was a butterfly pinned by my wings to the canvas of my mistakes.” That image has stuck with me. Because haven't we all felt like that at some point—frozen, exposed, and unable to fly, not because we can't, but because we've been too tightly tethered to the past? In this episode, we're digging into what happens when we stay stuck in past mistakes and how that mindset quietly shapes the way we see our future. We'll explore how self-forgiveness isn't just a feel-good idea—it's a critical step in claiming your growth. We'll talk about the emotional toll of living under an old narrative, how to begin rewriting it, and what it means to truly unpin yourself from your past. Ready to reclaim your wings? Let's get into it. Let's start by talking about what it actually means to be “stuck in the past.” It's more than just ruminating on old memories—it's when your self-worth, decision-making, and ability to hope are shaped by events you can't change. It might sound like: “I always mess things up,” or “I don't deserve better because of what I've done,” or even “I'm not the kind of person who gets second chances.” That internal dialogue becomes a trap—one that feels like self-protection but slowly suffocates growth. And the consequences? They're sneaky. You avoid new relationships because of old heartbreaks. You turn down opportunities because you're afraid of failing like you did before. You even stop dreaming because the you from the past already “decided” your limits. It's like driving with the rearview mirror as your guide—and surprise, you're missing what's right in front of you. Being stuck in the past doesn't mean you're broken—it means you're human. But healing means learning to thank your past for the lesson… and then gently close the book. How to Let Go of Past Hurts: 8 Ways to Move On Twelve Steps to Self-Forgiveness You're not behind. You're not broken. And you're definitely not defined by your worst moment. Every time you choose to show up, speak kindly to yourself, and take a step forward—you're rewriting the story. And this time, you're holding the pen. CHALLENGE: Stop seeing your past as a prison and start viewing it as a chapter—one that shaped you, but doesn't get to write your ending. Today, choose to unpin yourself from the canvas of old mistakes and start creating something new, bold, and beautifully unfinished. I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are detaching with love as we learn the importance of setting healthly boundaries, explore the many faces of codependency, and understand how to let go without giving up. Have you ever felt like someone else's happiness—or healing—was somehow your responsibility? Like if they were struggling, it meant you had to jump in and fix it, smooth it over, or carry it for them? If that sounds familiar, you might be brushing up against something I've wrestled with myself: codependency. For me, learning to detach with love has been one of the hardest, most freeing lessons in my healing journey. It doesn't come naturally—I'm still working on it every day—but it's opened up a whole new way of understanding relationships and responsibility. Detachment doesn't mean indifference. It doesn't mean cutting people off or shutting your heart down. It means having healthy boundaries that say, “I love you, and I also know that your growth is not mine to manage.” For those of us who think in black-and-white, all-or-nothing terms, detaching without guilt can feel impossible. But this work—this shift in mindset—isn't just for people dealing with addiction or dramatic relationship breakdowns. It's for anyone who finds themselves overfunctioning, over-apologizing, or constantly carrying the emotional weight of everyone else. Let's talk about what it means to detach, not with judgment or resentment, but with love. At its core, codependency is about losing yourself in someone else's needs, emotions, or dysfunction. It's an emotional tug-of-war where you believe, often unconsciously, that someone else's stability or growth depends on your constant involvement. You might take on the role of fixer, peacekeeper, rescuer, or even mind-reader. And while your intentions are loving, the results can be exhausting, confusing, and deeply unfulfilling. Now—detaching with love might sound like an emotional paradox. How do you care without carrying? How do you show up for someone without stepping over the line and taking over? Detachment isn't coldness or emotional withdrawal. It's the intentional act of allowing others to face the consequences of their own choices, while protecting your energy, boundaries, and sense of self in the process. Detaching With Love Is Good for Everyone - Sharon Martin, DSW, LCSW Demystifying Co-dependency - S.M. Stray CHALLENGE: Loosen your grip on what was never yours to carry, and instead, hold space—for your growth and theirs. Practice loving with open hands, not clenched fists, trusting that boundaries are not walls, but bridges to healthier relationships.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are exploring risk vs reward and the fear that keeps you stuck. If you're someone who shies away from taking risks because you're terrified of failure, I'm speaking to you today. We're diving deep into the tension between risk and reward, why people stay stuck, and how you can break free from the cycle of fear. We'll explore why fear holds us back, how to bounce back when things don't go as planned, and most importantly—how to take calculated risks that can lead to growth, success, and a life that feels more aligned with your true potential. In this episode, you're going to learn about the courage to fail and why it's one of the most powerful tools you can have in your personal and professional development. We'll unpack the fears that keep us from stepping out of our comfort zones, why those fears don't always match reality, and how embracing the unknown can actually lead to greater rewards than staying in the safety of what's familiar. By the end of the episode, you'll have some tangible ways to start taking those risks, handling failure with grace, and moving forward into the growth you deserve. Let's break this down. Risk is the possibility of losing something of value—whether it's time, energy, money, or reputation. Reward is what you gain in return: success, growth, opportunity, and personal development. The key to moving forward is understanding that with risk comes reward, but it's not always immediate, and it's not always what you expect. Why are we afraid to take risks? It all comes back to fear—fear of failing, fear of judgment, and fear of the unknown. But the reality is, failure is not the end. It's a step in the process of learning, growth, and progress. Taking risks is a natural part of growth. Every successful person has faced failure, rejection, and even the sting of loss. The difference between those who succeed and those who stay stagnant is the ability to push past those fears and keep moving forward. It's about embracing the discomfort and trusting that the reward will be worth the risk. Shonda Moralis asks is Fear of Failure Holding You Back? Emily Boynton enlightens us with Why Taking Risks Helps You Grow — and How to Do It Is Failure Necessary? | Simon Sinek CHALLENGE: This week, take one risk that's been scaring you, even if it's just a baby step. Whether it's starting that side project, speaking up in that meeting, or taking a leap in your personal life—go for it! Take that step with the confidence that no matter the outcome, you are learning, growing, and moving forward.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are making a commitment to take our own medicine and practice what we preach to achieve authentic personal growth. Have you ever caught yourself dishing out great advice—maybe even life-changing advice—only to realize you're not actually taking it yourself? You're not alone. For me, this became very real when I paused and thought, Wait a minute… am I applying the very same healing and growth tools I've spent years teaching others? It's easy to guide, encourage, and support someone else's transformation—it feels great, even! But when it comes time to turn that spotlight inward, it can get a little… uncomfortable. Personal accountability doesn't come with a script. There's no applause when you do the hard inner work in private. Just you, your truth, and the mirror. In this episode, we're digging into the idea of “taking your own medicine.” It's not about shame—it's about alignment. About realizing that personal growth isn't just something we facilitate for others—it's something we owe ourselves too. If you've been operating on auto-pilot, pushing others to grow while neglecting your own healing, it's time to come home to yourself. Let's gently peel back the layers and explore how self-honesty, ownership, and a little humility can lead to some of the most powerful transformation yet. Let's start by unpacking this phrase—“take your own medicine.” It's one of those sayings we toss around casually, but it carries some weight when you really sit with it. In its simplest form, it means applying the same advice, tools, and strategies to yourself that you so easily hand out to others. It's about walking your talk. Practicing what you preach. But more than that—it's about integrity. When you give others guidance on healing, setting boundaries, processing pain, or embracing change, it usually comes from a place of experience or education. But if you're not actually applying those practices to your own life, there's a gap—a disconnect. And that disconnect can create feelings of inauthenticity, burnout, or even imposter syndrome. You might look like you have it all together on the outside, while inside, you're quietly struggling with the same things you're helping others overcome. Taking your own medicine means making time for your own emotional maintenance. It means slowing down long enough to check in and ask: Am I living in alignment with what I believe? It doesn't require perfection—it just asks for honesty and willingness. Because growth isn't just about knowledge—it's about embodiment. Brian Ford - Why It's Hard To Take Your Own Advice Why Personal Responsibility Is Key to Changing Your Life - Daniel Mangena  Check Yourself - Accountability | Charlie Johnson | TEDxNormal CHALLENGE: Stop waiting for clarity to strike from the outside and start holding yourself accountable from the inside. Take the advice you so freely give, turn it inward, and begin showing up for your own healing with the same grace and determination you offer others. I Know YOU Can Do It!

On this show…we are going beyond the smile to understand that sometimes you have to grow through what you don't want to feel. How often have you heard, “Just stay positive!” as a magic fix for life's problems? It sounds good—and sometimes it is good—but what happens when positivity turns into a clever disguise for real, messy emotions? For a lot of us, especially those who are naturally peacekeepers or conflict-avoiders, it's easier to slap on a smile, let things “roll off our back,” and move on… at least on the outside. But inside? Inside, we might be skipping important work—growth work—that only happens when we're willing to sit with a little discomfort. In this episode, we're diving into the powerful ideas of Capacity Expert RaQuel Hopkins, who challenges the myth that you have to choose between being positive and being real. What if true growth isn't about avoiding hard feelings—but about honoring them, learning from them, and letting them change us? If you, like me, have ever found yourself managing the appearance of being unbothered while quietly carrying unresolved emotions, you're going to feel seen today. Let's crack open this idea together and explore how feeling more can actually lead to living more. Let's start by breaking down this idea of emotional capacity. In simple terms, emotional capacity is your ability to experience, process, and integrate a wide range of emotions—both the pretty and the painful—without shutting down, lashing out, or checking out. When we don't stretch our emotional capacity, we end up stuck in a narrow lane of “acceptable” feelings: happy, fine, maybe a little stressed but functional. Anything outside that—anger, grief, sadness, disappointment—either gets stuffed down, rushed through, or paved over with “good vibes only” slogans. But the problem with skipping emotions isn't just emotional. Over time, it limits our capacity for intimacy, resilience, creativity, and real personal growth. RaQuel Hopkins teaches that growth comes from allowing yourself to fully experience friction, not rush past it. Friction isn't failure; it's feedback. And when you avoid it—when you smooth it over with positivity or pretend it doesn't bother you—you're not protecting your peace, you're stunting your growth. Real capacity building happens when we practice being present with discomfort long enough to actually learn from it. Doretta Bendalin offers the Truth: How Sweeping it Under the Rug Hurts You. Found at Medium At Grouport I found more info on Understanding Emotional Avoidance: A Deep Dive 3 Toxic Mental Health Trends with RaQuel Hopkins, Capacity Expert CHALLENGE: Stop sweeping discomfort under the rug and start seeing it as a doorway to your next level of growth. Instead of waiting for peace to find you, choose to meet your emotions where they are—and build the resilience to carry yourself forward with honesty and heart. I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are recognizing that moods matter because our inner world dramatically shapes our outer experience.  Have you ever waited on someone—or something—to change the energy in the room, cheer you up, or just make the day feel better? Maybe you've thought, “If they'd just smile,” or “If one good thing would happen, maybe I'd feel different.” We've all been there, hoping for a rescue from a funk we can't quite shake. But what if we've been giving away way too much power? What if the secret to turning the day around isn't out there somewhere, but already within us? In this episode, we're flipping the script. Instead of waiting for something to shift our mood, we're exploring how our mood might actually be the thing shifting everything else. How we think, how we feel, how we choose to respond—it all ripples out and shapes what comes next. Could it be that we're the thermostat, not the thermometer? That we're not just reacting to the world but co-creating it in real time? Let's dig into what this means, how to tell when our mindset is steering the ship (and when it's stuck in a ditch), and how we can use this awareness to show up differently—even when the world around us stays the same. Let's kick things off with a truth that feels simple on the surface but hits a little deeper the more you sit with it: your mood shapes your experience more than your experience shapes your mood. We often think we're reacting to what's happening around us, but in reality, we're often reacting to what's happening within us—and that response colors the whole scene. This idea leans into what psychologists call “emotional reasoning”—where we believe something is true based solely on how we feel. For example, if I feel overwhelmed, I assume the situation is chaotic. If I feel ignored, I assume people don't care. But the kicker? The situation may not actually be that bad—it just feels that way because of the emotional lens I'm looking through. It's like wearing sunglasses indoors and wondering why everything looks dim. Our brains are wired to scan for threats, to make quick judgments, and to look for evidence that supports how we already feel. That's called confirmation bias, and when we're in a funk, our minds will happily hand us proof that the day is, in fact, garbage. But here's the good news: once you realize this, you can interrupt the loop. You can change the glasses, so to speak. You can take back control of your mood and, with it, the way you engage with the world. So rather than waiting for something outside of you to cheer you up or “fix” the day, what if you became your own emotional thermostat? Not to fake positivity or push feelings aside—but to gently shift how you interpret the moment, choose your response, and create a ripple effect from the inside out. Dr. Beth Kurland gives us some insight on How to Shift Perspective When You're Stuck in Your Own Way, found a Psychology Today   Carole Fossey declares Whether You Believe You Can or Believe You Can't, You Are Right found on LinkedIn Dr. Tracey Marks on Why you're an emotional sponge and 5 Tips for Better Boundaries CHALLENGE: Take ownership of your mood today. Recognize that by adjusting your internal narrative, you have the power to transform not only your own experience but also the world around you. Enjoy this new found freedom.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show… we are exploring the unspoken to learn how body language communicates what words can't.  Have you ever walked into a room and immediately felt something… off? No one said a word, but somehow, you just knew—you weren't welcome at that table, or someone just had an argument in the kitchen. That's the beauty (and sometimes the awkwardness) of body language. It speaks loud and clear—even when our mouths are saying, “I'm fine!” In this episode, we're digging into all those silent signals we send—whether we mean to or not. From the crossed arms that scream “I'm not open to feedback,” to the smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes… we're decoding what's really being said when nothing's being said at all. Body language isn't just a sideshow to the conversation—it is the conversation. And once you learn to read it (and manage your own), you'll start to feel more connected, more confident, and—yes—even a little more in control of how you're coming across. Let's take a closer look at the language we've all been speaking since before we said our first words. You might just be surprised what your body's been saying behind your back. I'll start by stating the obvious… but also the often-overlooked: we're talking all the time—even when we're not saying a word. Whether it's the way we cross our arms, how long we hold eye contact, or the way our faces betray us mid-sentence, body language is this constant, silent sidekick to our spoken communication. And more often than not, it's doing the real talking. Body language is made up of all the nonverbal cues we use to express ourselves—things like facial expressions, posture, gestures, eye movements, even how close we stand to someone. It's a full-blown language… just without the dictionary. According to researchers, nonverbal communication can account for up to 70–90% of how our messages are received. Which means the tone of your voice and the look on your face might be saying more than your words ever could. And here's the kicker: while we're often very aware of what we say, we're not nearly as tuned in to what our bodies are saying. That can lead to all kinds of mixed messages—like smiling while delivering bad news (awkward), or nodding when you actually disagree. We don't always realize what we're broadcasting. There are also cultural differences to consider. What feels like an innocent gesture in one country might be offensive in another. And what seems like eye contact to you might feel like a stare-down to someone else. So body language isn't one-size-fits-all—but it is universal in the sense that we're all doing it, all the time. So, why does this matter? Because when we become more aware of our own nonverbal habits—and better at reading others'—we show up more authentically. We connect more deeply. We avoid unnecessary misunderstandings. And we walk away from interactions not just having talked, but having been heard and understood. Wendy Rose Gould offers 7 Body Language Mistakes You Don't Know You're Making -Plus effective pro-tips on improving non-verbal communication. Tom Morrison explains What Your Body Language Says About Your Leadership Impact Let's learn even more from the expert, Vanessa Van Edwards, as she describes Learn 7 Body Language Secrets  CHALLENGE: Become more conscious of your nonverbal cues and observe how they influence your interactions. By aligning your body language with your intentions, you can foster more genuine and impactful connections. Show up as you, fully you. I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are embracing personal responsibility to shape our futures as we manifest our destiny. Have you ever paused to consider the role you play in crafting your own life story? It's a compelling notion that the outcomes we experience—both triumphs and setbacks—are not merely products of chance, but reflections of our own intentions and actions. This perspective invites us to delve into the profound connection between our thoughts, behaviors, and the realities we encounter.   In this episode, we're embarking on an enlightening journey to explore the concept that “that which we manifest is before us.” We'll unravel how our conscious and unconscious choices shape our destinies, and how embracing personal responsibility can empower us to steer our lives toward fulfillment and purpose. This isn't about casting shadows of blame, but about illuminating the paths of possibility that open up when we acknowledge our role as architects of our own fate. Let's kick things off by getting on the same page about what we're really talking about when we say, “That which we manifest is before us.” Sounds poetic, maybe even mystical, right? But it's actually a lot more practical—and empowering—than it might seem at first glance. Manifestation is the idea that the thoughts we think, the intentions we set, and the beliefs we hold have a powerful influence over the reality we experience. It's not just about wishing for something and hoping it appears out of thin air—it's about recognizing the role our mindset, choices, and focus play in shaping our path. It's like planting seeds in a garden: the quality of your thoughts determines what grows, and your effort is what brings it to life. Now let's pair that with personal responsibility—the idea that we are not just passive observers of our lives, but active participants. This doesn't mean blaming ourselves for every hiccup or hardship. Life happens, and some things are out of our control. But when we step back and really look at our habits, our self-talk, our patterns—what we believe about what we're capable of—we often find that we've played a bigger role in our outcomes than we realized. Here's where it gets really interesting: we're always manifesting—whether we know it or not. Through action or inaction. Through clarity or confusion. If you've ever said, “I knew this was going to happen,” good or bad, chances are… that thought planted a seed. And when we're not clear about what we want, or when we let fear and limiting beliefs steer the wheel, we can manifest outcomes that don't serve us—outcomes that feel like they just “happened” to us, when really, we helped create the conditions. So no, this isn't about magical thinking—it's about mindful thinking. It's about checking in with yourself and asking, “What am I putting out into the world through my energy, choices, and beliefs?” Because more often than not, that's exactly what shows up in front of you. Dr. Tchiki Davis on “What Is Manifestation? Science-Based Ways to Manifest” from Psychology Today.  Alright, let's break this down—manifestation in a nutshell. First, manifestation isn't magic. It's not about wishing really hard and waiting for the universe to deliver your dream on a silver platter. Instead, it's about aligning your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to move toward the life you want. Second, your mindset matters—a lot. What you believe about yourself and your future can shape your motivation, your resilience, and even how you interpret setbacks. A strong, focused mindset helps you stay committed and open to opportunity. Third, action is key. You can visualize the perfect job, the dream relationship, or the peaceful life—but unless you're taking consistent steps in that direction, you're just daydreaming. Manifestation works best when your intention meets effort. And finally, positive thinking alone isn't enough—you also need clarity, self-awareness, and a willingness to grow through challenges. It's about co-creating your life with purpose, not passively hoping everything will work out. Focus on What You Can Control, Leave What You Can't by Hannah Briame at Becoming Who You Are Mel Robbins hosted Dr. James Doty to talk about Manifestation CHALLENGE: Take a moment to reflect on an area of your life where you'd like to see change. Identify one specific goal, visualize the outcome, and outline the steps you'll take to achieve it. Embrace your role as the creator of your destiny, and watch as your intentions transform into reality. I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are attempting to avoid the Certainty Trap by asking, "Are you as right as you think you are?" Have you ever felt so sure you were right about something, only to later discover there was more to the story—or a completely different side you hadn't considered? That moment can be humbling, even a little uncomfortable, but it's also where growth begins. We've all been there—standing our ground, convinced that our perspective is the correct one. Whether it's a debate about current events, a disagreement in a relationship, or simply our interpretation of a situation, we often hold tightly to our beliefs. In this episode, we're diving into the human tendency to cling to certainty, even when we might not have all the facts. We'll explore the importance of self-awareness, the value of considering opposing viewpoints, and how embracing a bit of uncertainty can lead to personal growth and deeper connections with others. So, let's challenge our assumptions and open the door to new perspectives—who knows what we might discover? Let's start by calling out the very human thing we all do: we like to be right. I mean, who doesn't? Being right feels good—it's validating, it's safe, and it gives us a sense of control. But the brain takes it a step further. Scientifically speaking, our brains are wired to protect our current beliefs. We're not just thinking—we're filtering, editing, and defending. This is thanks to something called confirmation bias, which is your brain's way of saying, “Let's only pay attention to the stuff that proves we already know what we're talking about.” Here's a real-life example: you've decided your partner never listens to you. So, every time they forget something you said—ding ding ding—more proof. But when they do listen? You might not notice. Or maybe you write it off as a fluke. That's confirmation bias in action. You're scanning for evidence that supports what you already believe and quietly ignoring what doesn't fit. Then there's overconfidence bias, which is exactly what it sounds like: thinking we know more than we do. Ever found yourself mid-debate, completely certain about a “fact” you read online… only to later realize you misread it or, oops, it was a meme? Yeah, same. Our brains often give us the feeling of being right before we've actually done the homework. And once we're feeling confident, our openness to alternative views tends to shrink like jeans in the dryer. Now, let's turn the mirror inward. It's time for a little self-reflection: Recall a Recent Disagreement: Think about a recent situation where you were convinced you were right. What was the topic? Who were you discussing it with? Identify Your Sources: What information did you base your opinion on? Was it firsthand experience, something you read, or perhaps information from someone you trust? Consider the Other Perspective: What was the other person's viewpoint? Can you understand why they might see things differently? Assess Your Openness: During the discussion, were you genuinely open to hearing the other side, or were you more focused on proving your point? Reflect on the Outcome: How did the conversation end? Did you learn something new, or did it reinforce your original belief? By engaging in this exercise, you may uncover patterns in your thinking and identify areas where you can be more receptive to differing viewpoints. Dr. David W. Johnson with “The Importance of Taking the Perspective of Others.” Found at Psychology Today Certainty Is a Psychological Trap and It's Time to Escape also found at Psychology Today Let's go to the well….Annie Duke explains why being uncertain is a hidden strength  CHALLENGE: Identify one belief or opinion you hold with absolute certainty and actively seek out information or perspectives that challenge it. Embrace the discomfort of uncertainty, and observe how this openness can lead to deeper understanding and personal growth. Remember, true wisdom often begins with the acknowledgment of what we don't know.    I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show… we are going beyond comfort as we step outside of our comfort zones and embrace growth. We've all been there—nestled comfortably in our routines, sipping the same coffee, walking the same paths, and binge-watching that favorite series for the umpteenth time. It's cozy, predictable, and safe. But have you ever wondered what lies beyond that snug bubble? What adventures, opportunities, and personal growth await when you dare to venture into the unknown? Stepping outside your comfort zone isn't just a catchy phrase; it's a transformative journey that challenges your fears, bolsters your confidence, and shatters those pesky limiting beliefs. In this episode,  we'll explore the exhilarating (and sometimes nerve-wracking) world beyond our comfort zones. From understanding the psychology behind our fears to uncovering the hidden costs of staying stagnant, we'll navigate this path together to discover how embracing discomfort can lead to unparalleled personal growth. Let's start at the beginning—what exactly is a “comfort zone”? Sounds cozy, right? Like fuzzy socks, predictable routines, and your favorite Netflix binge. But in psychological terms, your comfort zone is more than just what feels familiar. It's a behavioral space where your activities and decisions fit a routine and pattern that minimizes stress and risk. Inside it, you're cruising—things feel manageable, safe, and under control. But spoiler alert: not much growth happens there. Now, stepping outside of that bubble? That's where things get interesting. Psychologists have mapped this out into zones: beyond the comfort zone lies the learning zone, where you face new challenges, gain skills, and build resilience. Keep going and you'll hit the growth zone—this is where purpose, confidence, and real transformation happen. It's the place where you say yes to the things that scare you a little but excite you a lot. The catch? It's also where the uncertainty lives. The fear. The doubt. That tiny inner voice that says, “Yeah but… what if I fail?” And hey, that voice has a point—there is risk involved. But there's also risk in staying stuck. The longer we stay in our bubble, the more we reinforce limiting beliefs—like “I'm not good at that,” or “That's just not who I am.” These beliefs become like padded walls, keeping us “safe,” but also keeping us small. And here's the wild part: you might not even realize you're stuck. You might just feel low-grade frustration, boredom, or restlessness—like something's missing but you can't quite name it. That's often your potential, knocking on the door, wondering when you're going to invite it in. Is It Time to Leave Your Comfort Zone? How Leaving Can Spark Positive Change Michael Hyatt asks and answers; Are Your Beliefs Keeping You Stuck? Found on Full Focus Joey Schweitzer on How the comfort zone is ruining your life Here are five powerful ways to challenge limiting beliefs Talk Back to the Voice in Your Head You know the one. That inner critic that says, “You're not good at this,” or “Who do you think you are?” Call it out! Literally question it like a nosy neighbor: Says who?” “Is that actually true or just something I picked up along the way?” When you start treating those beliefs like suggestions instead of facts, you regain control of the narrative. Look for the Evidence (and the Holes) Take your limiting belief and pretend you're a lawyer trying to prove or disprove it. Belief: “I'm not creative.” Evidence: Have you ever solved a problem in a new way? Cooked without a recipe? Decorated a space? Boom—creative. Most limiting beliefs fall apart under even the gentlest cross-examination. Reframe the Story Instead of saying “I always mess this up,” try “I'm still learning, and each attempt gets me closer.” Reframing isn't lying to yourself—it's choosing a perspective that empowers instead of paralyzes you. Think of it like adjusting the lens on your camera: same scene, better focus. Take Micro-Actions That Prove It Wrong One of the fastest ways to challenge a belief is to act in spite of it. If you believe, “I'm not confident speaking up,” try asking a question in a meeting. Tiny actions stack up. And each time you do the thing you thought you couldn't, that belief loses its power. Borrow Someone Else's Belief When your self-belief is shaky, lean on someone who sees you clearly. A coach, friend, mentor—someone who's rooting for you. Ask, “What do you see in me that I'm missing?” Sometimes we need to borrow confidence until we build our own. CHALLENGE: Identify one area in your life where fear or complacency has kept you confined. Take a deliberate step this week to push beyond that boundary, no matter how small, and embrace the growth that awaits on the other side. Remember, life begins at the end of your comfort zone.  I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are diving into the idea of emotional shape-shifting or adapting our emotions and behaviors in different social situations. Have you ever found yourself slipping into the role of mood manager—filling awkward silences, lifting a heavy atmosphere, or shifting your tone just to keep the peace? Maybe you've walked into a room, scanned the emotional temperature, and instinctively adjusted yourself to fit in, smoothing out discomfort like a social glue stick. If so, congratulations! You might be what I like to call an Emotional Shape-Shifter—the person who intuitively adapts to meet others where they are. Sounds like a superpower, right? And in many ways, it is. This kind of emotional adaptability can build connections, ease tensions, and make you the go-to person for support and social harmony. But here's the catch—when does being flexible turn into being too flexible? At what point do we stop adjusting and start erasing ourselves? Think about it - constantly mirroring other people's moods can be exhausting! If you've ever walked away from a conversation feeling emotionally drained—like you just carried the weight of someone else's energy—you're not alone. As a self-proclaimed shifter, I wanted to know, is emotional shape-shifting simply a form of empathy, or is it a close cousin of people-pleasing? And more importantly, how do we keep the good parts of this trait while setting boundaries that protect our own emotional well-being? Today, we're diving into the art of emotional adaptability—when it's a strength, when it's a slippery slope, and how to find the balance between connection and self-preservation. I was talking to a friend of mine about this idea and referred to myself as “the goo”...sounds weird, but think about it. Goo fills empty space.  Ever notice how you become a slightly different version of yourself depending on who you're with or where you are? This isn't about being fake – it's something psychologists might call emotional shape-shifting, and it's actually a normal part of human behavior. Emotional shape-shifting can be defined as the process of adjusting or changing your emotional expression to suit different situations or people. It draws on our capacity for emotional regulation – the ability to control or modulate our feelings – and on emotional mirroring, where we unconsciously mimic another person's emotions to connect with them. In other words, it's like being an “emotional chameleon”, instinctively adapting to the social environment to blend in or put others at ease. Over at Psych Central, Hope Gillette tells us about Practicing Authenticity When You're Socially Adapting There are no set criteria that define someone as a social chameleon, but common traits can include:   Empathy: Recognizing, relating, and responding to the thoughts and feelings of others. Adaptability: Being able to change your behavior readily in different situations. Open-mindedness: Always searching for a common ground with others' beliefs and interests. Social awareness: Being keen to subtle social cues, like body language, or shifts in others' moods and behaviors. Effective communication: Offering clear, engaging conversation and active listening. Displaying interest: Asking questions and displaying interest in someone else's passion. Mimicking movements: Taking on movements of another to convey shared experiences, like smiling, nodding, or arm crossing.   At Medical News Today, Zawn Villines gives us some insight on People pleasers: What it means and how to stop On the School of Life's YouTube Channel, I found How to Stop Being a People Pleaser CHALLENGE: Be intentional with your own emotional shape-shifting – adapt to others when it feels right, but never at the cost of your true feelings and needs. Stay flexible and empathetic, yes, but also fiercely protective of your authenticity and personal boundaries.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are turning dreams into reality as we take action to live our best lives. Have you ever caught yourself saying, “One day, I'm going to…” or “I wish I could…” only to let time slip by without taking action? Maybe you've dreamed of starting your own business, writing a book, switching careers, or finally diving into that passion project you can't stop thinking about. But somehow, between responsibilities, self-doubt, and the comfort of routine, those dreams get placed on the back burner. And the longer they sit, the easier it is to convince yourself that now just isn't the right time. But let's be real—if we wait for the perfect time, we might be waiting forever. So, what's really holding us back? Is it fear? Lack of direction? The security of staying where we are, even if it isn't fulfilling? Today, we're going to uncover the real reasons we stall on our dreams and, more importantly, how to break through the hesitation and take action. Because here's the truth: the difference between “I wish” and “I did” is action. And that doesn't mean making a drastic leap overnight—it means taking one small, intentional step in the right direction. Whether you're looking to reinvent your career, start a side hustle for joy rather than money, or simply make progress toward something you love, this episode is for you. Let's talk about the power of forward motion, break out of the predictable patterns that keep us stuck, and create a real, scalable plan to move from dreaming to doing. It's time to get up and get going! From the start, I had entrepreneurial aspirations! Not really sure why that is. I didn't come from a family of entrepreneurs. My father was a professor and my mother a stay-at-home mother but as early as I can remember, I was creating opportunity. Not everything was a money-maker or even successful but that wasn't really the most exciting part for me. It was the idea that turned into action. I saw opportunity everywhere. For instance, my neighbors were out of town and we had a big storm in my neighborhood. This took down a very large tree in their backyard. After an initial inspection I decided it would be cool to give neighborhood children a tour for a small entrance fee. After coming up with some compelling and elaborate stories about each nook and cranny of the fallen tree, we gave tours all day and made enough money to walk to town and treat ourselves with some goodies.  Now, I realize there is a time and place for any genius idea so I'm not suggesting checking the weather channel for the next big storm but I tell this story to say, what can you engineer from just a creative thought? Let's take a moment for some self-reflection. Grab a pen and paper, or open a notes app, and jot down your answers to these questions: What is a dream or passion you've been putting off? Think about something you've always wanted to do but haven't pursued yet. What fears or doubts have been holding you back? Be honest with yourself—acknowledge any fear of failure, fear of success, or comfort in routine that's keeping you from taking action. What small step can you take this week toward that dream? Identify a manageable action that moves you closer to your goal, whether it's researching, networking, or dedicating time to your passion. The Real Reason You're Afraid To Chase Your Dreams - from Bren on the Road When asked…How can we overcome the fear of pursuing our dreams?. Deepak Chopra At Observing Leslie, I found How the Obsession with Monetizing Hurts Us On Gabby Bernstein's YouTube channel, I found The First Step in Taking Action on Your Dream CHALLENGE: Stop waiting for the “right time” and take the first bold step toward your dream today. Trust yourself, embrace the excitement of the unknown, and start creating the life you've been dreaming about—because the only thing standing between you and your future is action!   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are going beyond the hammer as we strive to expand our toolbox to handle life's challenges. Have you ever found yourself approaching every problem with the same solution, even when it's not the best fit? Maybe you're the “tough love” person, doling out hard truths when sometimes a little empathy would go further. Or maybe you're the peacemaker, smoothing things over when what's really needed is some constructive conflict. We all have our go-to tools, and when they work, they work—but what about when they don't? That's why we're exploring this top of: If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. This well-known idiom, also called Maslow's hammer or the law of the instrument, describes our tendency to over-rely on familiar methods, even when they aren't the best solution. Think about it: if a hammer is all you know, you're going to swing at every challenge like it's a bent nail. But life is full of problems that don't require brute force—some need a screwdriver, a paintbrush, or maybe just a step back to reassess the whole project. The key to personal and professional growth is recognizing when it's time to expand your toolbox. Today, we're exploring why we default to certain ways of thinking, how this impacts our decision-making, and most importantly, how we can cultivate a more adaptable and creative approach to life's challenges. Let's trade in our hammers for a full set of tools and learn how to use them! Test Your Toolbox Now, let's put your hammer to the test. Consider the following scenarios and think about how you would instinctively respond. Then, challenge yourself to consider an alternative approach.

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are balancing our inner emotions as we decide, which wolf to feed. Ever feel like there's a tug-of-war happening inside you? One part of you wants to lounge on the couch, scrolling endlessly, indulging in snacks, and just existing in cozy bliss. Meanwhile, the other side is nagging at you—reminding you of the gym membership you're paying for, the book you said you'd read, or that goal you promised yourself you'd chase. It's an internal battle, and let's be honest, some days, the lazy wolf wins. But what if I told you that this struggle isn't just about self-discipline or willpower? It's a deeper, universal experience that has been described for generations through the ancient Cherokee story of the two wolves. According to this tale, inside each of us live two wolves: one represents negativity—anger, jealousy, regret, self-doubt—while the other embodies positivity—love, kindness, hope, and gratitude. They are constantly at odds, each vying for dominance over our thoughts, reactions, and ultimately, our lives. The question is: which wolf wins? The answer is simple but powerful—the one you feed. On this show, we're diving deep into this idea, exploring the dangers of leaning too far in either direction and most importantly, how to maintain a healthy balance. Because let's face it, we're all human. Sometimes, the negative wolf gets a few too many scraps, but the good news? We can always make a conscious choice to shift our focus, change our perspective, and start feeding the right wolf again. Let's do a little test to see if you can recognize which wolf is speaking in different situations. I'm going to give you a few common thoughts we all experience, and I want you to guess which wolf is talking—positive or negative. No overthinking, just go with your gut. “I'll never be good at this, so why even try?” “I messed up, but I can learn from this and do better next time.” “Everyone else has it figured out. I'm so far behind.” “I'm proud of how far I've come, even if I'm not where I want to be yet.” “I don't trust people. Every time I let my guard down, I get hurt.” “There are good people in the world. I just have to find the right ones.” How did you do? It's pretty clear once you break it down, right? The negative wolf thrives on absolutes—never, always, no one, everyone—and it feeds on doubt, fear, and comparison. The positive wolf, on the other hand, embraces growth, possibility, and resilience. When the Wolves Wear Disguises Here's where it gets tricky—sometimes, the negative wolf pretends to be the positive wolf to keep its grip on you. Have you ever told yourself: “I just expect the worst so I won't be disappointed.” “I'm not being negative, I'm just being realistic.” “If I don't trust people, they can't hurt me.” These thoughts feel like self-protection, but in reality, they're fear in disguise. The negative wolf doesn't just show up as anger or sadness—it can creep in as cynicism, overthinking, or even perfectionism. Courtney E. Ackerman asks about Positive and Negative Emotions: Do We Need Both? Found at Positive Psychology Ria Bhagwat claims 'Lemonading' Is the Life Strategy That'll Make You Happier (and There's Science to Prove It) found at Real Simple On the Anasazi Foundation's YouTube channel, I found THE LEGEND OF THE TWO WOLVES || Native American Legend CHALLENGE: This week, observe which wolf you're feeding with your thoughts and actions. Make conscious choices to nourish your positive wolf, and watch how your inner landscape transforms. I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we're cracking open the psychology of emotions, specifically the fine line between anxiety and excitement. Have you ever found yourself on the edge of a thrilling adventure, heart racing, palms sweaty, only to wonder: “Am I anxious or just excited?” If so, you're not alone. Anxiety and excitement are emotional doppelgängers, mirroring each other in physical symptoms—rapid heartbeat, fluttering stomach, and that all-too-familiar rush of adrenaline. But here's the twist: our mind plays the role of narrator, deciding whether this moment is a threat to be feared or an opportunity to be embraced. And once we slap a label on it, we start acting accordingly. Anxiety gets thrown around far too often, and when we're quick to diagnose every feeling of nervous energy as anxiety, we inadvertently give it more power than it deserves.  But what if, instead, we took a step back and questioned whether we're actually afraid… or just excited? By shifting the way we interpret our body's signals, we can reframe anxious energy into something productive—enthusiasm, motivation, even joy! We'll explore how this mindset shift works, test out ways to tell the difference and dive into strategies to regain control over our thoughts. If you've ever mistaken nerves for negativity or let anxiety hold you back, this episode will help you take back the reins. So, deep breath—let's go! Anxiety and excitement are like two sides of the same coin. Physiologically, both can make your heart race, palms sweat, and mind buzz. The key difference? It's all about perception. Anxiety often stems from anticipating a negative outcome, while excitement is rooted in positive expectations. Recognizing this distinction is the first step in mastering our emotional responses. right now. Mind Flip Challenge: Think back to a moment when you felt nervous energy. Maybe it was before a speech, a first date, or a big change. Replay the scene in your mind—what was your body doing? Heart racing? Hands tingling? Now, flip the script. Instead of saying, “I was so anxious,” say, “I was actually really excited.” Feel the difference? Take it a step further: When you experience those same feelings in the future, try saying out loud, “I'm excited!”—even if you don't fully believe it at first. You're rewiring your brain, one phrase at a time. Dr. Yanet Vanegas details Transforming Anxiety: How to Turn Worry Into Success - Harness the power of anxiety to fuel your motivation and achieve your goals. Found at Psychology Today Megan Anna Neff declares Feelings Are Not Facts: How to Identify Experience from Reality found at Neurodivergent Insights Olga Khazan from the Atlantic's YouTube channel: How to Turn Anxiety Into Excitement CHALLENGE: Next time anxiety knocks, greet it with excitement. Embrace the energy and let it propel you forward. Instead of fearing the moment, step into it with confidence, knowing that you have the power to shape your own experience. I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we're diving into the art of seeing both sides of the coin. Have you ever been so convinced you're right about something, only to later realize you were missing an entire side of the story? It happens to all of us! We get comfortable in our own experiences, opinions, and beliefs, seeing the world through a lens shaped by our past. But what if we took a step back and considered another perspective—one that challenges our assumptions, expands our thinking, and maybe even changes the way we see the world? Today, we're exploring the power of looking at both sides of the coin, recognizing that understanding isn't just about what we know but also about what we're willing to learn. Imagine standing in a hallway lined with doors. Each one represents a different perspective, a new way of seeing the same issue. The more doors you open, the more complete your understanding becomes. But if you only stand at one door, insisting that what you see is all there is, you miss out on the full picture. Learning to explore different viewpoints isn't about giving up your own beliefs—it's about strengthening them by exposing them to new information. It's about building bridges instead of walls, seeking connection over conflict, and embracing curiosity over certainty. So, let's dive in, open our minds, and discover how seeing both sides of the story can lead to a deeper, more meaningful understanding of the world around us. To kick things off, let's clarify what it means to see both sides. It's about being open-minded, empathetic, and willing to consider perspectives beyond our own. This involves understanding that our viewpoint is just one among many and that others' experiences shape their beliefs and opinions. By acknowledging this, we can foster deeper connections and make more informed decisions. Mckenna Schueler shares The Importance Of Listening To Both Sides Of An Argument Choosing to ignore the side of the argument you don't agree with only weakens your own. Found at The Odessy online. Melissa Wadsworth offers another angle of 2 Sides of a Coin – Perspective Shifts in Collective Consciousness found at Collective Manifestation Mark B. Baer, sheds some light on Empathy and Self-Awareness. Personal Perspective: Why cultivating empathy towards others is a skill. Found at Psychology Today Communication Coach, Alexander Lyon explains Empathy on his YouTube channel.  At the end of the day, expanding our perspective isn't about giving up our beliefs—it's about being open enough to consider new ones. And who knows? The more we listen, the more we might just learn. CHALLENGE: Step outside your comfort zone this week. Engage in a conversation with someone who holds a different viewpoint, listen actively, and seek to understand their perspective. Embrace the opportunity to see the world through their eyes, and watch how it enriches your own. I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show..we're diving into a topic that's as inevitable as that laundry pile you've been avoiding: change. Whether it's the subtle shift of seasons or a complete life overhaul, change is the only constant. But fear not! We're here to explore how embracing these twists and turns can lead to a stronger, more resilient you. So, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and let's embark on this journey together. Change comes in many forms—planned or unexpected, minor tweaks or major transformations. It's the process of becoming different, and while it can be daunting, it's also a powerful catalyst for personal growth. By understanding change as a natural part of life, we can better prepare ourselves to navigate it. As I reflect on the changes I've navigated in my life, I can't help but sit back and say—WOW. There's a lot to be proud of. Moments I once thought were impossible, I conquered. Others still leave me wondering, Did I really do that? Some changes weren't as thrilling, but they were necessary, and I made it through—not unscathed, but grateful. Moving forward, I want to be prepared for whatever life has in store. While I may never predict what's ahead, I'm convinced that truly knowing myself and standing firm in my values will serve as the lighthouse guiding me through. On Medium, Mazior Nyanyo suggests a reason to Embracing Change: A Journey Towards Personal Growth and Success On the Lily-Jo Project, I found some additional insight on Embracing Change: Navigating a New Normal with Grace Let's lean into the wise words of Simon Sinek on how to Navigate and Embrace Change found on his YouTube channel. Here's how to shift your mindset and apply change effectively to overcome life's challenges. 1. Reframe Change as an Opportunity Instead of seeing change as something that's happening to you, try seeing it as something that's happening for you. Every shift in life—big or small—has the potential to teach you something new.

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are delving into the intriguing realms of daydreaming and visualization. Have you ever been caught staring off into space, only to snap back to reality and wonder where your mind wandered? Or perhaps you've been told to “visualize success” but aren't quite sure how that's different from a midday reverie. You're not alone! Daydreaming and visualization may seem like mental opposites—one feels like a carefree drift down a lazy river, while the other is more like a focused GPS for your goals. But what if I told you they both have a place in your life? In this episode, we're unpacking these two mental superpowers, exploring their differences, and discovering how to balance the benefits of dreaming big and thinking strategically. Let's turn those cloud-watching moments into life-launching plans. So, grab a comfy seat, let your thoughts meander (but not too far), and let's embark on this mental adventure together! To set the stage, let's clarify what we mean by daydreaming and visualization. Daydreaming is a spontaneous and unstructured flow of thoughts that can transport you away from the present moment. It's often a way to escape boredom or entertain oneself, allowing the mind to wander freely. On the other hand, visualization is a deliberate and structured mental process where you create vivid images or scenarios in your mind to achieve a specific goal or outcome. It's commonly used in practices like sports psychology and personal development to enhance performance and manifest desired results.  Mark Morgan goes a little deeper on the definition, Visualization is Like Daydreaming on Purpose found at Neuro Tracker Barbara Field  shares 5 Positive Effects of Daydreaming found at Very Well Mind On Dr. Tracey Marks' YouTube channel, she explains Maladaptive Daydreaming vs Mind wandering – How To Tell the Difference Activity: A Two-Part Mental Experiment Let's try an exercise to really understand the difference between these two mental activities. Grab a notebook or open a notes app, and let's go: Daydreaming Phase Set a timer for five minutes. Let your mind wander freely—no rules, no restrictions. Write down any thoughts, scenarios, or ideas that pop into your head. It doesn't have to make sense or have a purpose; just let your imagination flow. Maybe you're a world-famous chef, or you're living on a tropical island with a pet monkey. Go wild! Visualization Phase Now, reset your timer for another five minutes, but this time, focus on something you want to achieve. Picture it in as much detail as possible. What does success look like? How do you feel? What steps are you taking to make it happen? Write down the specifics of this visualization. Reflection: After the exercise, take a look at your notes. Your daydreams might feel playful, random, or even a little absurd, while your visualization notes should feel structured and goal-oriented. Notice how both have value—one sparks creativity and freedom, and the other drives focus and motivation. Bonus Insight: If you find yourself daydreaming too much when you're trying to visualize, that's okay! Your mind just needs a little training. Try grounding techniques like deep breathing or focusing on a specific object to bring yourself back to the present and regain control. This simple experiment helps you tune into how your mind works and gives you a clear sense of when to let it wander and when to focus it with purpose. It's not about choosing one over the other—it's about learning to use both effectively, like switching gears in a car. Sometimes, you need to cruise; other times, you've got to put the pedal to the metal! CHALLENGE: Harness the power of your mind by distinguishing between when to let it wander and when to focus it with intent. Embrace both daydreaming and visualization as tools to enrich your life and propel you toward your goals.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we're diving into a topic that many of us are all too familiar with: procrastination. It's the sneaky little gremlin we all know too well. You promise you'll “get to it tomorrow,” but somehow tomorrow keeps moving further away. The truth is, procrastination isn't about being lazy or disorganized; it's often about dodging discomfort, whether it's tackling a tough project, having a hard conversation, or just folding that mountain of laundry. It's not complicated, but let's face it—it is hard. The good news? With the right mindset and a few practical strategies, you can kick procrastination to the curb and finally get stuff done. So, grab your to-do list (if you haven't procrastinated on making one), and let's explore why we put things off and how to overcome this all-too-common hurdle. Because, hey, even a baby step forward is better than a perfectly polished excuse!...Most of the time. Just kidding… Alright, let's kick things off with a quick, no-pressure quiz to see where you stand on the procrastination spectrum. Grab a pen—or just think about your answers, but no procrastinating! Answer “yes” or “no” to these questions: Do you ever tell yourself, “I work better under pressure,” and then wait until the last minute to start a task? Is “I'll get to it tomorrow” your unofficial life motto? Do you have projects or tasks that have been on your to-do list so long they feel like part of the furniture? Do you find yourself doing something else productive—like cleaning the fridge or reorganizing your closet—to avoid the real thing you need to do? When you finish one task, do you think, “Whew, I deserve a break!” and then start a four-hour Netflix marathon? If you answered “yes” to even one of these, procrastination might be paying you a visit. If you answered “yes” to all five…well, we've got some work to do—but don't worry, you're not alone! Now, let's dive in and figure out what's really going on behind the scenes when we procrastinate, and more importantly, how we can start turning those “I'll do it tomorrow” moments into “Wow, look at me go!” moments. To tackle procrastination, we first need to understand what it is and why we do it. Procrastination is more than just laziness; it's a complex psychological behavior rooted in our desire to avoid discomfort. According to an article from Verywell Health, procrastination can lead to increased stress, health problems, and poorer performance.   It's often linked to factors like fear of failure, perfectionism, and low self-esteem. Recognizing these underlying causes is the first step toward change. How to Stop Procrastinating - By Michelle Pugle Dr. Bobby Huffman sheds light on another side of this coin,  The Scary Truth About Procrastination found at Psychology Today  The Crucial Role Emotions Play in Productivity - TIME Dr. Andrew Huberman shows us How to Stop Procrastination & Increase Motivation found on his YouTube channel Huberman Labs I've heard this advice before…take big projects and break them down into smaller, bite-sized chunks and this is excellent advice, but let's take it a step further with granular tips and tricks to ensure this strategy truly works for you. Start with the End Goal Visualize what “done” looks like. What does success mean for this task? Write it down. Example: Instead of just “finish the report,” write, “Create a polished, 5-page report with data visuals and an executive summary.” Reverse Engineer Your Steps Work backward from the end goal and ask: “What must happen immediately before this step?” Keep repeating until you reach the beginning. Example: For “create a polished report,” steps might look like: Format and proofread the final document. Draft each section based on research. Organize and clean up the data. Gather data from different sources.   Create Micro-Tasks Break down tasks into time-boxed, specific actions. Use the 2-minute rule for any task that's quick (e.g., “create a folder to store research”). Example for “research topic ideas for presentation”: Spend 5 minutes brainstorming keywords. Spend 10 minutes searching online and bookmarking articles. Write down 3 ideas in a notebook.   Use Action Words Write tasks as specific actions. Avoid vague labels like “work on project.” Instead, use verbs like “outline,” “call,” “research,” or “draft.” Example: Instead of “organize inbox,” write “delete 20 old emails” or “label 10 client messages.” The Rule of One Focus on one part of the task at a time. Example: If you're writing a report, don't attempt the intro, middle, and conclusion all at once. Start with just the bullet points for one section. By taking these granular steps, you make any daunting task feel manageable, and before you know it, you'll be crossing things off your list like a pro!   CHALLENGE: Identify one task you've been putting off and apply one of the strategies we've discussed today to start it. Remember, taking the first step is often the hardest part, but it's also the most rewarding.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are exploring guilt and gaslighting as we unravel the mind's silent saboteurs. This topic is as sneaky as a cat burglar and as subtle as a whoopee cushion at a royal banquet: guilt and gaslighting. Ever felt like your mind's been playing tricks on you, only to realize someone else was the magician?  Life throws enough curveballs without someone pitching guilt and gaslighting into the mix, right? But here's the good news—you have the power to call out those sneaky mind games, hit pause on the guilt spiral, and rewrite the narrative. Today, we're diving deep into the tricky terrain of guilt and gaslighting: why they happen, how they mess with your head, and most importantly, how you can rise above them. So buckle up for a journey of clarity and courage because It's time to reclaim your peace of mind and say, “No thanks, manipulation—I'll stick to reality!” To set the stage, let's define our key players. Guilt is that nagging feeling when we've done something wrong—or sometimes when we haven't, but someone wants us to think we have. Gaslighting, on the other hand, is a form of psychological manipulation where someone makes you doubt your own reality. It's like being convinced that the sky is green when you know it's blue. Understanding these concepts is the first step in recognizing their impact on our lives. At Neuro Launch I found some Effects of Gaslighting on the Brain: Psychological and Neurological Impacts Over at Psych Central, I found How to Spot Manipulation Tactics Frederick Ribersson on the Decoding Narcissism's YouTube channel How to IMPLODE A Narcissist GUILT Trip Game  Let's not let the idea of Rising Above go unexplored. We've all heard of rising above a situation as being the bigger person, taking the high road an letting things go first. But I want you to think of another idea…actually hovering over a situation to get a different perspective.  Imagine being in the middle of chaos, drama, or any overwhelming situation. In the middle is tough because it feels like you are surrounded and from this vantage point where you can't see your way out, you might feel hopeless.  Rise above, crawl up higher in your mind's eye so that you can look down on a situation. From up here the issue shrinks and you can take in the entire scope of the situation seeing how thinks can be interrelated or interdependent. From this new perspective and the time you took to gain it, you can truly process the challenge and your next move.  You have more control over your thinking than you think you do.  For instance: Trust Your Perceptions: Acknowledge your feelings and experiences without immediately dismissing them. Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your limits and stand firm against attempts to undermine them. Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family, or a mental health professional about your experiences. Document Interactions: Keep a record of conversations and events to reference if your memory is questioned. Educate Yourself: Learn about common manipulation tactics to better recognize them. CHALLENGE: Trust your inner compass, set firm boundaries, and seek support when faced with manipulation. Embrace your reality and stand strong against those who attempt to distort it. You own your power!   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we're diving into a topic that's close to the bone—literally; taking ownership of your health and wellness by shifting from vanity to vitality. Have you ever found yourself sweating it out at the gym, not for the love of health, but to fit into those jeans from high school? Or perhaps you've chosen a salad over a burger, not because you enjoy leafy greens, but because of that looming beach vacation? Taking ownership of your health and wellness isn't about chasing a number on the scale or squeezing into last year's shorts—it's about reclaiming your joy, energy, and freedom. Imagine a life where exercise feels like play, eating well becomes self-care, and you're motivated by how amazing you feel rather than how you think you should look. It's time to trade body-shaming for body-celebrating and turn health into your personal happiness project.  Let's flip the script and explore how taking ownership of our health—both physical and mental—can lead to genuine freedom, rather than being shackled by societal expectations and self-imposed limitations. Health is a holistic state encompassing physical fitness, mental well-being, and emotional balance. It's about how we feel, function, and thrive in our daily lives, not just how we look. Understanding this broader perspective allows us to set more meaningful health goals that contribute to our overall quality of life. I found an insightful article that delves into how body shaming can lead to long-term psychological and physical health issues, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and eating disorders. Not to be a downer but I think we need to start off by coming clean and getting to the heart of the matter.  Dr.  Danielle Kelvis shares The Impact of Body Shaming: How It Affects Mental Health Alex Davies questions Could soft fitness be your workout game-changer? Over on the Ted Archive YouTube channel I found some amazing information and inspiration from Laurie Coots on The psychological weight loss strategy  Now that we've unpacked the idea of shifting from vanity to vitality and explored the roots of body shaming, it's time to talk about how to break the cycle. Taking ownership of your health and wellness isn't about perfection or ticking off a checklist—it's about building habits and a mindset that prioritize your happiness, freedom, and well-being. Here are practical steps to help you flip the narrative and take control of your health, both physically and mentally. Reframe Your Motivations Start by redefining your why. Instead of aiming for a certain size or shape, focus on how you want to feel. Maybe it's more energy to keep up with your kids, a stronger body to tackle that hike, or a calmer mind to handle stress with grace. When your goals are tied to how you live, rather than how you look, they become more meaningful and sustainable. Try This: Write down three non-aesthetic reasons you want to prioritize your health. Keep this list visible as a daily reminder of your real goals. Silence the Inner Critic That little voice in your head—the one that compares you to others, nitpicks your reflection, and measures your worth by numbers? It's time to give it a new job. Turn your inner critic into your inner coach. Celebrate small wins, speak kindly to yourself, and replace criticism with encouragement. Try This: When you catch yourself thinking something negative about your body, pause and reframe. For example, instead of “I hate my thighs,” try “These thighs carry me through my day.” Move for Joy, Not Punishment Exercise doesn't have to be a grueling chore. It's not about “burning off” last night's dessert or earning your next meal. Movement is a celebration of what your body can do! Find activities you love—dancing, swimming, yoga, hiking—and let them be a source of fun and empowerment. Try This: Experiment with new activities until you find one that feels like play, not punishment. Then, schedule it into your week as a gift to yourself. Fuel Your Body with Respect Ditch the diet mentality that labels foods as “good” or “bad.” Instead, think about nourishment. Choose foods that make you feel strong, energized, and satisfied. It's not about restriction—it's about respect for your body. Try This: Instead of cutting out your favorite foods, add in more of the good stuff—colorful fruits, veggies, whole grains, and proteins—and notice how they make you feel. Focus on Mental Health as Much as Physical Health isn't just about the body; it's about the mind, too. Make time for mental self-care: meditation, journaling, therapy, or simply unplugging from screens. A healthy mind is the foundation for making lasting changes to your physical health. Try This: Start a gratitude journal. Write down three things each day that you're thankful for about your body and mind. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences The people and messages you surround yourself with can have a huge impact on your mindset. Seek out communities that celebrate all body types, avoid toxic comparisons on social media, and spend time with people who uplift and support you. Try This: Curate your social media feed by unfollowing accounts that make you feel inadequate and following those that inspire body positivity and health for happiness. Be Patient and Compassionate with Yourself Changing ingrained patterns and beliefs isn't easy. It takes time, effort, and a lot of self-compassion. Remember, progress isn't linear. You'll have setbacks, but they don't erase your progress. Treat yourself with the same kindness you'd show a friend. Try This: When you hit a rough patch, remind yourself, “I'm not starting over—I'm continuing from where I left off.” CHALLENGE: Redefine your approach to health by focusing on activities and habits that enhance your overall well-being, not just your appearance. Embrace this holistic perspective to unlock a happier, freer, and more vibrant version of yourself.   I Know YOU Can Do It! 

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are embracing the art of saying no as we get better at setting boundaries to protect our energy. Have you ever caught yourself nodding yes before you've even heard the question? Like, ‘Can you…?' and there it is—‘Sure!' Before you know it, you're knee-deep in a commitment you never wanted. Let's face it—saying no can feel like the ultimate guilty pleasure. We're so conditioned to be helpful, agreeable, and superhuman that declining a request feels like we're letting the world down. But guess what? Protecting your energy isn't just okay—it's essential! In this episode, we're diving into the art of saying no, not as a rejection but as a way to honor yourself, your values, and your time. We'll explore what boundaries really mean, why they matter, and how to say no without the guilt trip.   So let's use t  hat overcommitted superhero cape for some well-deserved boundaries and exploring how to protect your precious energy. It's time to take back your power, one polite decline at a time! Let's start by getting on the same page about what we mean when we talk about boundaries. No, we're not talking about fences or “Do Not Enter” signs—although sometimes those might feel necessary! Boundaries, in this context, are the invisible lines we draw to define what's okay and not okay for us. They're like the personal rules of engagement for how we let others interact with our time, energy, and emotions. Think about it: we all have a limited amount of energy each day. It's like a rechargeable battery, but unlike your phone, there's no power bank to save you when you're at 1%. So, when you're constantly saying yes—whether it's agreeing to bake 200 cookies for the school fundraiser, staying late at work for the fifth time this week, or playing therapist to your overly dramatic friend—you're draining that battery. And let's be real, once it's gone, it's gone. That's why boundaries are so important—they help us protect and prioritize our energy. But here's the tricky part: why is it so hard to say no? For many of us, it's because we don't want to disappoint others. We crave approval, we want to be liked, and sometimes we just want to avoid the awkwardness of conflict. So we end up overcommitting, stretching ourselves too thin, and feeling resentful—or worse, burnt out. Let's flip the script. Saying no doesn't make you selfish; it makes you smart. Think of boundaries as your personalized life GPS, directing you toward the things that matter most and steering you away from unnecessary detours. They help you stay focused, reduce stress, and create stronger, more respectful relationships. And here's a bonus: setting boundaries can actually improve your relationships. How? Because people know where they stand with you, and that clarity builds trust. When you say yes, they'll know you genuinely mean it, and that makes your commitment even more valuable. So, let's embrace this idea of boundaries not as barriers but as bridges to a more intentional, energized life. Up next, we'll explore how to actually do this—and trust me, it doesn't involve wearing a “No Thanks” T-shirt, although that could be a fun start!” Sian Ferguson confesses I'm a People Pleaser Who Tried Saying "No" to Everything for a Week—Here's What Happened found at Very Well Mind On Self, Jenna Ryu gives us (or me) 5 Little Ways to Practice Setting Boundaries If You're a Recovering People Pleaser No worries, help's on the way. On Terri Cole's YouTube Channel, I found Saying "No" Without Justifying or Over-Explaining  CHALLENGE:  Protect your energy by setting boundaries that reflect your values. The next time you're asked to overextend yourself, pause, reflect, and give yourself permission to say no. Remember, every ‘no' you say to something that drains you is a ‘yes' to something that fuels you.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are taking a meaningful walk down Memory Lane as we journey to well-being and growth.  Do you ever find yourself deep in thought, wondering why a certain memory pops into your head unannounced? It's like your brain says, ‘Hey, remember that one time you spilled coffee on your boss's desk? Classic!' Memories are our personal time capsules filled with joy, heartache, and lessons we'd rather not repeat. But why are they so sticky? What makes them essential to our well-being, and how can we honor them without getting stuck in the past? Let's dive into the treasure chest of our minds and figure out how these moments shape, heal, and even save us. Welcome to Memory Lane, where the roads are paved with laughter and tears, the occasional pothole of embarrassment, and some scenic overlooks that make you go, “Wow, I've come a long way!” But before we start skipping down the lane hand-in-hand with nostalgia, let's talk about what makes these little snapshots in our minds so special—and sometimes so puzzling. What are memories, anyway? Think of your brain as the ultimate personal assistant—it stores your to-do lists, your grocery store disasters, and that one karaoke performance you wish it would forget. Memories are essentially your brain's way of saying, “Hey, this moment? Worth keeping.” They're formed when our experiences are encoded in the brain, stored for safekeeping, and then retrieved when needed—or, you know, when you're trying to sleep at 3 a.m. UGH every night! The sciencey bit (but fun, I promise): There are two main types of memory: Short-term memory: Like a post-it note for your brain. It's where you store quick info like, “Where did I put my keys?” Spoiler alert: you'll still lose them. Long-term memory: These are the biggies—your first dance, the smell of your grandma's cookies, or that epic road trip. They stick around because they matter. Why do they matter? Memories are more than just the greatest hits of your life—they're your compass, your roadmap, and your connection to the world. They shape how you see yourself, how you relate to others, and how you make sense of everything. Without them, you'd be like a GPS with no destination input—just aimlessly wandering through life! A fun little detour: Ever notice how a certain smell or song can hit you like a time machine? That's called memory triggers, and they're sneaky little things. One whiff of sunscreen, and suddenly you're 10 years old at the beach, building sandcastles and eating questionable hot dogs. Or maybe it's hearing that one song that reminds you of your high school crush—cue Sister Christian, awkward dances, and terrible fashion choices. So, before we dive into how to honor and heal through these moments, let's take a second to appreciate this magical filing system in our heads. Your memories are proof that you've lived, loved, and learned—whether that lesson was to never attempt bangs again or to cherish the people who make life worth remembering. At the International Educator, Elke Greite shares more about The Role Of Memory In Identity and Education Dr. Kate Truitt gives us some good insight into Healing Through the Art of Storytelling On Ted-Ed's YouTube Channel, I found How Memories Form and How We Lose Them by Catharine Young CHALLENGE: Take time this week to revisit one memory that brings you joy and reflect on how it has shaped you. Then, create a new moment to treasure—because the story of your life deserves another great chapter.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are exploring The Power of Habit as we aim to create and sustain positive behaviors. Habits—those sneaky little routines that either keep us on track or derail us faster than a spilled cup of coffee on Monday morning. Whether it's hitting snooze one too many times, grabbing that extra cookie you swore you wouldn't, or finally nailing a consistent workout routine, habits shape our lives more than we realize. But here's the good news: habits aren't just hardwired; they can be rewired. So let's dive deep into what makes habits stick, why they're so stubborn, and how we can transform even the tiniest shifts into life-changing routines. Think of it like building a house—you don't lay the roof first; you start with one solid brick at a time. The same goes for habits: small, intentional changes can lead to extraordinary growth. So, get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even uncover a habit or two you didn't know you had! Let's crack the code to better routines and a better you. First, let's define what a habit is and how it's formed. A habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously. According to Psychology Today, habit formation is the process by which behaviors become automatic through repetition. This process involves a three-step pattern known as the “habit loop”: cue, routine, and reward. The cue triggers the behavior, the routine is the behavior itself, and the reward is the benefit you gain from doing the behavior, which reinforces the habit.  In my exploration of habits, I came across an insightful article titled “The Science of Habit: How to Rewire Your Brain” from Healthline.  Let's end with some uplifting inspiration. On the Motivation Ark's YouTube channel, I found, a Motivational Speech By James Clear  CHALLENGE: Identify one habit that has the power to transform your life. Commit wholeheartedly to practicing it every day for the next 30 days, knowing that each small, consistent step rewires your mind and strengthens your foundation for growth. Remember, positive habits are the seeds of lasting change, and every repetition brings you closer to the best version of yourself.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are trying to achieve a balance between open-mindedness and firm beliefs as we navigate the middle ground. Staying true to your convictions is one position you can take but how does that stance affect the way you embrace new ideas and differing opinions? Ever feel like you're walking a mental tightrope, trying to keep an open mind while staying true to what you believe? It's like trying to balance on a seesaw with a curious toddler on one end and a stubborn goat on the other—challenging, unpredictable, and sometimes a little funny in hindsight. In this episode, we're exploring how to navigate the middle ground between welcoming new ideas and standing firm in your values. We'll tackle the fear of being too easily swayed, the risks of being stuck in your ways, and that frustrating paralysis that comes from overthinking it all. Let's dive in, find our balance, and discover how to approach life's challenges with curiosity and confidence.  Let's make sure we all understand the definition of Open-Mindedness: The willingness to consider new ideas and perspectives. Misconception: Being open-minded means accepting everything without question. Feel risky? If so, you might have fear around: Losing your identity. Being coerced into decisions you wouldn't normally make. The slippery slope of “people-pleasing” or over-compromise. I hear you—it's exhausting trying to make sense of the conflicting messages we're bombarded with daily. “Stand your ground!” but “Embrace diverse ideas.” “If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything!” yet “You're narrow-minded if you don't change your mindset to fit everyone else's.” Whoa, slow down! Where do we even start? For me, it's all about a multi-pronged approach. I pray, listen to my heart, try to see the bigger picture, and seek knowledge—always in that order. I trust myself, but let's be real, I don't know everything, and I can't navigate life's challenges alone. When I feel that pressure or tension to believe something or act a certain way, I take a step back and ask, “Why?” Why am I feeling this way? This simple pause keeps me from rushing into conclusions or making impulsive decisions. Here's the thing: I think many of us adopt an idea and fiercely protect it before we've really researched or tested it. It's human nature to want to feel confident and certain, but what if we took a moment to explore, question, and truly understand? That's where real balance and growth begin. At Psychology Compass I found how you have to Contradict yourself to become more open-minded On Forbes, Dr. Alice G. Walton offers 7 Science-Backed Methods To Get You Out Of Your Head On The Table's YouTube channel, I found Changing Your Mind: Virtue or Vice.  So what happens when you find yourself in this overwhelming push/pull situation in your thinking? What causes it and how do we overcome it? Fear of Making the “Wrong” Decision or Offending Others The Issue: Many of us freeze at the thought of making a decision that might upset someone or turn out to be a mistake. This fear can be paralyzing, leading to second-guessing or endless deliberation. How to Overcome It: Embrace the idea that no decision is ever truly final—most can be adjusted or revisited. Shift your mindset from “right vs. wrong” to “learning and growing.” Instead of aiming for perfection, aim for progress. Being Stuck in Indecision Due to Conflicting Inner Voices The Issue: One part of you says, “Stay safe and stick to what you know,” while another whispers, “Take a risk and explore new possibilities.” This inner tug-of-war can leave you immobilized. How to Overcome It: Practice tuning into each voice without judgment. Ask yourself, “What's the worst-case scenario? What's the best-case scenario?” Write these down and weigh the options. Sometimes seeing your thoughts in writing can bring clarity. Here are some more practical ways to break free: 1. Pause and Reflect Without Judgment When faced with pressure or indecision, step back and take a breather. Don't rush into action or self-criticism. Use simple tools like deep breathing, journaling, or a quiet walk to clear your head. 2. Set Boundaries: Know When to Listen and When to Step Away Not every conversation or input requires your full engagement. If external opinions are overwhelming you, give yourself permission to politely step back. A simple, “Thank you for sharing—I need some time to think this through,” can go a long way. 3. Practice Mindful Decision-Making Approach decisions with intentionality. Focus on what aligns with your values and goals rather than what pleases others. Break larger decisions into smaller steps to make them feel less daunting, and celebrate each small step forward. CHALLENGE: Pause and reflect the next time you feel pulled in opposite directions—take a moment to tune into your heart, weigh your values, and explore new perspectives without judgment. Commit to standing firm in what matters most to you while staying open to growth, knowing that true balance is found in the space between.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are taking a deeper look at stress in an attempt to find our way back to peace. No matter what your level of stress is, everyone can benefit from a more peaceful existence because life can sometimes feel like an endless juggling act, and let's be real—most of us are using bowling pins instead of tennis balls. Between the pressure to perform, the nagging feeling of not being good enough, and the constant stress of “adulting,” it's no wonder so many of us are stuck in a cycle of burnout. But here's the good news: there's a way to hit the pause button, reclaim your peace, and rewrite the narrative playing in your head. In this episode, we're diving into how to manage stress, tackle the relentless inner critic, and embrace the idea that you're not just “enough”—you're extraordinary. We'll explore why so many of us feel like we're falling short, unpack the serious toll this mindset takes on our health, and share practical, empowering strategies to help you flip the script. Because let's face it, you deserve to feel good about yourself—and that starts today. Ready? With peace being the ultimate destination, let's chart a course offering valuable pitstops along the way. Maybe you sometimes feel stress but not sure it's all bad or that you suffer from too much stress. Maybe the word Peace conjures up tie-die an hemp necklaces instead of a tranquil existence. Let's start with a few definitions to make sure we're all on the same page: Stress: a feeling of emotional strain and pressure that occurs when a person perceives an event as taxing or endangering their well-being.  Peace: freedom from disturbance; tranquility. Ok, simple enough? Hardly. At Healthline, I found Why Americans Are More Stressed Today Than They Were in the 1990s Kira M. Newman helps us understand What to Do When You Never Feel Good Enough found on Greater Good On Therapy in a Nutshell's YouTube channel, I found, Stress, Anxiety, and Worry Self-regulation tools can be divided into quick fixes for immediate relief and long-term health practices for sustained well-being.  Quick Fixes: Excellent for acute stress or when you need fast relief. Long-Term Practices: Create a buffer against future stress and support sustained emotional balance. Integration: Use quick fixes during high-stress moments while building long-term habits for resilience. Quick Fixes These are tools you can use in the moment to calm stress or regain focus. While effective for immediate needs, they don't address the underlying causes of dysregulation. Deep Breathing Take 4-5 deep breaths, inhaling for a count of 4, holding for 4, and exhaling for 4. Quick relaxation of the nervous system. 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique Identify 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste. Redirects focus and alleviates anxiety. Progressive Muscle Relaxation Tense and release muscle groups from head to toe. Relieves physical tension caused by stress. Short Walk or Movement Break A brisk 5-10 minute walk outside or light stretching. Boosts mood by releasing endorphins and clearing the mind. Journaling for 5 Minutes Write down your thoughts or worries. Provides mental clarity and emotional relief. Mindful Distraction Engage in a quick, enjoyable activity like a puzzle or music. Offers temporary relief by shifting attention. Long-Term Health Practices These build resilience and create a foundation for improved self-regulation over time. Mindfulness Meditation Commit to 10-20 minutes daily to cultivate present-moment awareness. Reduces stress and improves emotional regulation. Exercise Routine Regular aerobic activity like walking, yoga, or cycling 3-5 times a week. Strengthens mind-body connection and releases stress-reducing chemicals. Sleep Hygiene Prioritize 7-8 hours of quality sleep with a consistent bedtime routine. Regulates mood, energy, and cognitive function. Healthy Nutrition Focus on a balanced diet with whole foods, reducing caffeine and sugar. Supports mental clarity and stable energy levels. Therapeutic Practices Engage in regular therapy, counseling, or self-reflection exercises. Addresses root causes of stress and emotional dysregulation. Regular Gratitude Practice Write down 3 things you're grateful for daily. Shifts perspective and fosters resilience. Learning Emotional Regulation Skills Techniques like cognitive reframing or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). Provides tools to manage triggers and stress more effectively. CHALLENGE:  Start small. Identify one stressor in your life and address it with a calming technique we discussed, like deep breathing or reframing your thoughts. Then, commit to taking one small step toward asking for support or setting a boundary—because your peace is worth protecting.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are going beyond the discovery and exploring what an ongoing life of gratitude, looks like. We all know the buzz about finding gratitude—it's like the self-help world's holy grail. But let's be real, what's the point of finding something amazing if you don't know how to hold onto it? It's like finding the perfect snack in the pantry and then eating it all in one go—gone too soon! Gratitude shouldn't be a one-hit wonder; it's meant to be the background music of your life, playing on repeat. In this episode, we're diving into what happens after you find gratitude. How can you turn those fleeting “thank goodness” moments into a sustainable practice? What does it do for your day-to-day mood and the bigger picture of your life? And, most importantly, how can you live in gratitude rather than treating it like a magic wand you wave when things get rough?  Let's explore how to make gratitude less of a to-do list item and more of a way of being—because a grateful heart isn't just lighter, it's stronger. Buckle up, this journey will leave you feeling uplifted and ready to embrace life's magic, one thankful moment at a time! So if I asked you, what is your gratitude practice, what would you say? Journaling, prayer, when someone reminds me, or only around the table one day of the year? Well, I might be all of the above. I do usually start a prayer with what I'm thankful for and I have been known to journal a gratitude list a time or two. I even have a group chat with some diligent members who prompt me to steer my morning in a thoughtful and thankful way. But how can we go from using gratitude as a quick fix to truly integrating it into their lives? Sheldon Reid shares The Benefits of Gratitude and How to Practice It found in the Help Guide John Bradley makes the connection between the transformative duo: Gratitude and Empathy: Cultivating Understanding and Compassion for Others. Found on Medium. On Fearless Soul's YouTube channel, I found Say "Thank You" - Motivation On The Importance Of Gratitude - what a nice and uplifting way to end. Just like any good habit, gratitude requires intentionality and practice to turn it from a fleeting feeling into a lasting lifestyle. Here's how you can build a gratitude practice that not only sticks but transforms the way you see the world: Anchor Gratitude to Daily Habits One of the easiest ways to make gratitude sustainable is to attach it to something you already do. For example: Morning Routine: Start each day by naming three things you're grateful for before getting out of bed or while sipping your coffee. Mealtime: Reflect on what you're grateful for as part of saying grace or a moment of mindfulness before eating. Evening Wind-Down: End the day with a gratitude journal entry or a quick reflection on the best part of your day. Practice Gratitude in Action Gratitude is most powerful when it's expressed, not just felt. Find ways to act on your gratitude: Write thank-you notes to people who've made a difference in your life, whether recently or years ago. Compliment someone genuinely and specifically—it could brighten their day and remind you of what you appreciate about others. Volunteer your time or donate to causes you're passionate about as a way of giving back in gratitude. Incorporate Gratitude Into Challenges Gratitude isn't just for sunny days. It becomes truly transformative when applied during tough times. When faced with challenges: Look for the lesson or growth opportunity in the situation. Reflect on past difficulties and what they taught you. Focus on the support or resources you have to navigate the challenge. Surround Yourself with Gratitude Cues Sometimes we need a little nudge to keep our gratitude practice on track. Set up reminders and cues in your environment: Place sticky notes with positive affirmations or gratitude prompts on your mirror, desk, or fridge. Use a gratitude app or set a daily reminder on your phone to pause and reflect. Display photos, keepsakes, or mementos that remind you of meaningful people, moments, or accomplishments. Create a Gratitude Accountability Partner Everything's more fun (and sustainable) with a buddy! Share your gratitude goals with a friend or family member and check in with each other regularly. This could be as simple as exchanging texts about what you're grateful for or meeting up to talk about the positive things happening in your lives. CHALLENGE: Gratitude isn't just something you find—it's something you live, and the real magic happens when you let it ripple through your thoughts, choices, and connections. Challenge yourself to go beyond fleeting moments of thankfulness and create a practice that transforms your perspective, strengthens your relationships, and fuels your joy every single day!   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are building, belonging, and blooming together as we explore and celebrate, the value of community. When you think of the word ‘community,' what comes to mind? Is it a neighborhood, a friend group, or maybe something you long for but haven't found yet? If the self-proclaimed “loner” still needs to feel connected and supported. People need people. The popular song sheds some valuable insight: We're children, needing other children and yet letting a grown-up pride hide all the need inside. So let's talk about community—the people who lift you up, laugh at your bad jokes, and sometimes even remind you to take down your trash. Community isn't just a nice-to-have; it's a life-changing, soul-nourishing, growth-accelerating gift. Whether it's your ride-or-die crew, a group of neighbors, or a virtual squad cheering you on from afar, we all need a tribe. Don't have one? No problem! You can start your own—it's easier than you think and way more fun than going it alone. In this episode, we'll explore why community matters, how to spot a good one (or a bad one), and how finding your people can help you truly bloom. Because life's too short to be lonely—let's build something beautiful together! Jenny Anderson shares some advice on The only metric of success that really matters is the one we ignore found on Quartz At Conscious Mommy I found Building a Conscious Village:  Connection When You're Feeling Lonely On the Dare to Do YouTube channel, I found The Pencil's Tale - a story that everyone should hear Ever got sucked into a toxic community? Detecting and avoiding a toxic community requires awareness of behaviors, patterns, and overall group dynamics. Here are some ways to identify and steer clear of toxic environments: Signs of a Toxic Community Lack of Respect or Boundaries: Members disregard personal boundaries, gossip, or belittle others. Communication is often passive-aggressive or openly hostile.   Negative Energy and Drama: Frequent conflicts, constant complaints, or pervasive negativity dominate interactions. People focus on tearing others down rather than lifting them up.   Exclusion and Cliques: Some members are deliberately excluded, creating a sense of “in-group” versus “out-group.” Newcomers or outsiders are treated with suspicion or disdain.   Excessive Control: Leaders or prominent members exert control, demanding loyalty or conformity. There is little room for differing opinions or individuality.   Unhealthy Competition: Members are pitted against each other or judged based on unrealistic standards. Success is envied rather than celebrated, fostering resentment.   Physical or Emotional Drain: Interactions leave you feeling anxious, upset, or drained rather than supported or empowered. A sense of obligation to stay outweighs genuine enjoyment.   How to Avoid or Leave Toxic Communities   Set Personal Boundaries: Be clear about what behaviors you will and won't tolerate. Practice saying no when necessary.   Observe Before Joining: Take time to assess a group's dynamics before committing. Observe how members treat one another and handle disagreements.   Seek Positive Attributes: Look for communities with mutual respect, empathy, and inclusivity. Find groups that share your values and encourage growth.   Reflect on How You Feel: Regularly evaluate how the community impacts your mental and emotional health. If it's consistently negative, consider stepping away.   Speak Up or Address Issues: If you're invested in the group, try addressing the toxic behavior directly or with leaders. However, recognize when change is unlikely.   Focus on Building or Joining Healthy Communities: Seek out groups aligned with your interests, where people share goals of positivity, support, and mutual respect. Consider starting your own community with values you prioritize, such as open communication and collaboration. CHALLENGE: Step into the power of community by surrounding yourself with people who inspire, challenge, and uplift you—because the connections you nurture today will shape your happiness, health, and purpose tomorrow!   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are exploring the power of influence, recognizing what shapes us, and taking back control. We have all been bombarded with messaging asking, begging, and sometimes coercing us to think, feel, and take action. Where do your own thoughts hide in the midst of such assaults? Influence as a pervasive force in our lives that can shape our choices, our mindset, and even our identity. It can feel like a current—sometimes it gently guides us, but other times it's strong enough to sweep us off our feet. The key is in recognizing where influence is coming from and deciding how much power to give it. Let's take a big breathe here and make a commitment to unpack, resort, and purge some influencing ideas that no longer serve us in a positive way.  Influence is more than just peer pressure; it's subtle and can come from various sources—family, friends, social media, society, our inner dialogue, and even our environment.  A close friend's advice feels comforting but can sometimes lead you down their path instead of yours. Social media trends can push you to buy, think, or act in ways you normally wouldn't. Influence of a mentor or a loved one can impactfully shape your values and ambitions. Tyler Jensen, a psychotherapist,  sheds some light on The Allure of Negativity: Why Our Brains Are Drawn to It At Knowledge of Wharton, I found ‘Invisible Influence': What Really Shapes Our Decisions, an interview with the author Jonah Berger On Simon Sinek's YouTube channel, as always, I found some wise words  on How to Stop Holding Yourself Back Develop Media Literacy and Mindful Consumption Pause and Evaluate: Before you engage with media (whether it's news, social media, or entertainment), take a moment to reflect on what you're about to consume. Ask yourself why you're choosing this source, and consider whether it aligns with your values or goals. Question the Source: Develop a habit of asking, “Who created this, and what might be their motivation?” For example, consider whether a brand, influencer, or network could have hidden interests. Recognizing potential biases helps you stay in control of how you interpret information. Limit Exposure to Influential Sources Set Boundaries: If you notice certain media or social media accounts lead to self-doubt, stress, or unhealthy comparison, consider unfollowing, muting, or setting a time limit on those platforms. Curate Positive Influences: Choose to follow people, brands, and organizations that support your goals, align with your values, and inspire you in constructive ways. Make it a rule to engage with content that adds positivity and growth to your life. Strengthen Your Core Values Define Your Values: Reflect on what's truly important to you, whether it's integrity, creativity, kindness, learning, or independence. When you have a solid sense of your core values, it becomes easier to recognize when outside influence aligns or conflicts with them. Regularly Revisit Goals and Priorities: Set aside time each month to revisit your goals. Are you on track with what you want, or have you drifted because of external pressures? Realigning with your values keeps you grounded in your personal vision. Practice Self-Questioning to Uncover Hidden Influence Ask Yourself Key Questions:“Why do I want to do this?” This question can help you determine if a choice truly aligns with your desires or if it's an idea you've absorbed from others. “How do I feel about this?” Checking in with your feelings lets you see if you're enthusiastic, uneasy, or pressured—emotions that reveal whether your decision is authentic. “What would I do if no one else were watching?” Imagine you're free of anyone's opinion or judgment to help identify choices that are truly your own. Build Confidence in Your Own Voice Challenge Yourself to Act on Your Opinions: Start with small decisions where you rely solely on your own thoughts. For example, choose an outfit based on your preference, pick a book that genuinely interests you, or make weekend plans based on what would make you happiest. Engage in Conversations with an Open Mind: Practice sharing your perspective in discussions, even if it's different from others. Engaging with diverse opinions while sticking to your viewpoint can help build resilience and confidence in your own voice. Create a Supportive Inner Circle Surround Yourself with Encouragers: Choose friends, mentors, and family members who respect your individuality and encourage you to make decisions that feel true to you. A supportive circle will uplift and validate you, rather than pressuring you to conform. Find Accountability Partners: Identify someone who's also working on taking control of their influences and check in with each other. Share your progress, any struggles, and celebrate wins together to help reinforce each other's growth. Practice Self-Compassion and Flexibility Recognize that Influence is Natural: Understand that we're all influenced by our environments. Self-compassion can prevent you from feeling guilty if you realize you've been swayed in a direction you didn't want. Instead, view it as an opportunity to learn and readjust. Be Open to Change: Sometimes, testing your perspective means you might genuinely change your opinion. That's a sign of growth. The goal is to ensure that any changes reflect your evolving self rather than fleeting external pressures. CHALLENGE: Remember, influence is a force we all experience, but it doesn't have to control us. Recognize what's guiding your path, decide what you want to allow in, and remember that you have the power to steer your own journey.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we will be navigating feelings as we try to find a balance between empathy and self-reflection. How are you feeling? How do those feelings impact another person's feelings? Can you feel what another person is feeling? Are you as confused as I am by this line of questioning? Well, today, we're diving into the world of feelings—yes, that deep, squishy part of being human! We live in a culture that champions the importance of respecting feelings, which is awesome…but sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our feelings that we forget to take a peek at the other side of the coin. What happens when we're hyper-focused on our own emotions? Could we be missing out on understanding someone else's? Let's explore the fine art of balancing self-reflection with empathy, of making room for our own feelings and those of the people around us. It's all about connecting, growing, and creating more ‘aha' moments in our relationships—with a little bit of humor, honesty, and a lot of heart along the way! When I was growing up, the question, ‘How do you feel?' had a whole different vibe. It was usually about the basics—are you hot, cold, tired, or maybe just a little hungry? When it came to health, the answer was usually straightforward: sick or not. If you were really under the weather, maybe you'd get a day at home or a trip to the nurse's office. Simple. But today, that question has become a lot more nuanced. Now, asking ‘How do you feel?' can open up a world of responses, as unique and layered as each person who answers it. Don't get me wrong, a focus on exploring more about feelings has helped normalize mental health discussions, reduced stigma, and empowered people to speak openly about their struggles. It has illuminated the need for self-awareness, stress management, and setting boundaries. However, focusing too much on personal feelings can sometimes limit our ability to connect empathetically with others. It can even contribute to misunderstandings in relationships if one person is more focused on expressing their own feelings versus listening to understand someone else's emotional struggles. Ever heard of emotional myopia – when we see only our own emotional perspective and may inadvertently neglect the feelings of others? Martha Beck starts this discussion with Seeing Your Emotional Blind Spots found on her blog At Everyday Speach I found an angle we need to cover; Understanding Others: The Importance of Perspective-Taking At the Worry Games, Lisa Branson shares another perspective on Why You Should Stop Focusing on Your Feelings On TEDx Talks I found some wise information on Validation,and communication through Empathy by Naomi Feil   Recognizing when someone is playing on our emotions to push their own agenda can be tricky, but there are a few red flags that can help us stay aware: Intense Emotional Appeal If someone is leaning heavily into emotions—guilt, pity, anger, or fear—without much substance or reason behind it, it's a sign they might be trying to sway you emotionally rather than engaging in a balanced conversation. Notice if they're frequently amplifying emotional language or using words designed to make you feel extreme sympathy or urgency. Lack of Listening and Empathy People pushing an agenda will often avoid giving space to your feelings, opinions, or questions. If they dominate the conversation, rarely let you speak, or dismiss your perspective when you do, it's a red flag. Genuine conversations include active listening; if it feels one-sided, trust that instinct. Deflection and Manipulation of Responsibility When you try to express your own emotions or viewpoints, do they quickly shift the topic back to their own concerns or play down your feelings? Manipulators often turn things around to make you feel responsible for their emotions, a tactic to keep the focus on themselves and their goals. Inconsistent Narratives or Exaggerations Listen for inconsistencies or exaggerated claims that don't add up. Manipulators may bend the truth or overemphasize details to paint themselves in a certain light or to steer you toward a specific reaction. If something seems “off” or overly dramatic, trust your gut. Pressure to Make Quick Decisions People pushing an agenda often create a sense of urgency, pressuring you to act or decide quickly. They know that when we're rushed, we're less likely to question or analyze their motives. Pausing and asking for time to think it over is often the best way to get clarity. Using Past Events as Emotional Leverage Manipulators might bring up past events or your own vulnerabilities to make you feel indebted to them or guilty. They might even use their past generosity or sacrifices as leverage, nudging you to go along with their wishes. This type of guilt-tripping is a clear sign they're trying to steer your emotions to benefit their narrative. Trust Your Gut Sometimes, the simplest way to recognize manipulation is by trusting your own feelings. If you feel drained, confused, or somehow “off” after talking with them, this might be your intuition signaling that their intentions aren't fully in your best interest. By keeping an eye out for these signs, you can protect your emotional space and engage with people on your own terms, setting boundaries and staying true to your values. CHALLENGE: Look beyond your own feelings and consider the bigger picture—what are others experiencing, and how can you make space for that? By balancing self-reflection with empathy, you can create deeper, more meaningful connections that benefit everyone involved.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are exploring the shocking truth about how the media's shock and awes keep us on high alert but in actuality, weaken our instincts. Have you ever heard of the tale of Henny Penny? It's a classic Scandinavian folktale where a little chick named Henny Penny gets hit on the head by a falling acorn and panics, believing that the sky itself is falling. Determined to warn the king, Henny Penny sets off on a journey, gathering other animals along the way who are also swept up in the hysteria. However, they eventually meet a clever fox who pretends to join their mission but instead lures them to its den—where it ends up eating them all. And that's the abrupt, cautionary end of their story! OUCH. Ever feel like you're bombarded with so much shocking news that it's hard to know what's an actual emergency? Kind of like poor Henny Penny, who thought the sky was falling over a little acorn! In this episode, we're diving into what happens when the media's constant “shock and awe” leaves us in a state of constant worry, always braced for disaster. We'll explore how this can wear us down and dull our true instincts, and most importantly, we'll uncover ways to take back our peace, sharpen our intuition, and add a little calm to our daily lives. Let's get grounded and learn to spot the real acorns from the falling skies—no foxes allowed! I could have started by pandering today's headlines but to be honest, I didn't want to throw any more fuel on the inferno. I also know it's easy to look to a “simpler” past by saying, “Back in my day we had three channels….and you had to get up to turn them.” But that kind of angle isn't going to grab the youth of today.  So let's just consult the hard-core facts. I wanted to look at a thirty-year span so we could see how our consumption in America has changed over the past three decades. On the Cleveland Clinic's website, I found information about the biology of Always on Alert: Causes and Examples of Hypervigilance Carolyn L Todd gives us some Stressful News Cycle Tips: 13 Ways to Protect Your Mental Health found on Self  Over at Big Think's YouTube channel, Alex Edmans helps you Improve your critical thinking skills in just 6 minutes When we get used to constant alarming headlines and alerts, it can really mess with our ability to spot real danger when it actually matters. Here's how: Slower Response in Emergencies: When we're bombarded with “urgent” information all the time, we start tuning it out—even if it's important. It's like hearing a fire alarm but thinking, “Eh, probably another drill.” This can lead us to hesitate or ignore real emergencies, which can be risky in critical situations. Difficulty Telling Real Risks from Fake Ones: After a while, it becomes hard to figure out what's an actual threat and what's just noise. We might freak out over something minor but brush off something serious, which is not exactly ideal if we want to keep ourselves safe. Health Burnout: Constant alerts and stress keep us in a high-stress state, which isn't good for anyone. When we're always on edge, our bodies start to wear down—anxiety, high blood pressure, poor sleep, you name it. Eventually, we get so used to that stress that we become numb, and when something real happens, our bodies may not respond with the urgency we actually need. Community Safety Slips: Desensitization can even affect a whole community. If everyone starts to shrug off warnings, we can end up ignoring things like severe weather alerts or health warnings. This makes it easier for emergencies to do real damage because no one takes the steps they should to stay safe. Weaker Instincts and Slower Decision-Making: Constant worry over everything can mess with our survival instincts. When we're overloaded, it becomes harder to think clearly and react quickly. We can lose that sharp sense of what's actually dangerous and what's not, which messes with our natural ability to make quick, smart choices. More Apathy and Helplessness: Ever feel like there's just too much going on to make a difference? The more we're bombarded by negativity, the more likely we are to feel helpless. And when that sets in, we're less likely to step up when it actually counts or get involved in efforts that could make a positive change. Normalizing Risky Behavior: Over time, constant exposure to stories about danger or violence can make risky behavior seem normal. We might find ourselves being a bit too casual with things like safety precautions or risky habits because they don't seem like a big deal anymore. This desensitization isn't just about personal safety—it affects whole communities. Breaking out of it means setting some boundaries on our media intake, staying connected to the present, and making a conscious effort to focus on what we can control. That way, we're not only ready for real emergencies but also a lot less stressed out in general. CHALLENGE: Break free from the echo chamber—take a step back, question your sources, and seek out new perspectives that might surprise you. By doing this, you're empowering yourself to see the world in a fuller, richer way, staying curious, informed, and open-minded!   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are embracing leadership as an attitude and not just as a title. Maybe you're a CEO, VP, or Director and maybe you don't hold a title at all. Either way, you are a leader. You don't need a corner office or fancy title to lead; all you need is a little courage and a lot of self-belief. It's all about finding your voice and stepping into your power, whether you're running a team, working behind the scenes, or just navigating your everyday life. Leadership isn't about calling the shots—it's about taking charge of your journey, lifting others up, and being the CEO of your own story. We'll explore how you can lead from where you are and talk about how being the “entrepreneur” of your life means setting your own course. It's time to ditch the idea that leadership is only for a select few—if you've got passion, purpose, and a willingness to grow, then congratulations, my friend—you're already a leader!  For some people, taking charge comes easily. For me, it was inherent. I can remember times when I stepped up and took charge, times when I was asked, and times when it was assumed. I also remember times when it didn't always go as planned. There are instances where I find comfort in mentoring and encouraging but not leading and other times where I purposely, take a back seat. What about you? Where are you most comfortable and where would you like to grow? Being a leader is about mindset, whether in a workplace, a community, or your personal life. Everyone has the potential to lead by finding their voice and taking control of their journey. Matt Mayberry helps us understand that You Don't Need to Be “the Boss” to Be a Leader found at the Harvard Business Review Michelle Rees shows us How to Take Ownership of Your Life (and Get Everything You Want) found at Whole Life Challenge Simon Sinek gives some valuable insight on What Makes a Leader Great? Found on his YouTube channel Embracing an entrepreneurial spirit is all about thinking like a visionary, taking initiative, and having the courage to pursue new opportunities. Here are some ways to cultivate that mindset in your own life: Adopt a Growth Mindset Entrepreneurs are always learning. Instead of fearing failure, see it as a chance to grow. Every challenge or mistake is an opportunity to improve, and this mindset opens doors to new possibilities. Take Initiative Stop waiting for permission or perfect timing. Whether it's in your job, personal life, or side projects, be proactive. Look for opportunities to lead, solve problems, or create something new. The entrepreneurial spirit thrives on taking action. Set Big Goals and Break Them Down Entrepreneurs dream big, but they know that success doesn't happen overnight. Set ambitious goals, but break them into smaller, manageable steps. This keeps you focused and motivated while building momentum. Be Comfortable with Risk To think like an entrepreneur, you've got to get comfortable with uncertainty. Not every idea will succeed, and that's okay. Take calculated risks, and view them as a necessary part of innovation and growth. Get Creative with Problem-Solving Entrepreneurs don't just accept problems—they find creative solutions. Train yourself to think outside the box. When something doesn't go according to plan, instead of throwing in the towel, ask yourself, “What's another way to approach this?” Embrace Failure as a Learning Experience Entrepreneurs see failure as feedback. Don't let setbacks stop you—learn from them. Whether it's a botched presentation or a business idea that didn't take off, each “failure” is a stepping stone toward success. Network and Collaborate Entrepreneurs know the power of connection. Surround yourself with people who inspire you, challenge you, and push you to be better. Collaboration sparks new ideas and can lead to exciting opportunities. Stay Flexible and Adaptable The entrepreneurial spirit thrives on flexibility. Be willing to pivot when things change or new opportunities arise. If plan A doesn't work, entrepreneurs are already thinking of plan B (and C, and D). Cultivate Passion and Purpose Entrepreneurship isn't just about making money—it's about passion. Find what excites you and pursue it with enthusiasm. Having a sense of purpose fuels persistence and keeps you going even when the road gets tough. Celebrate Small Wins Entrepreneurship is a journey, and it's important to celebrate the milestones along the way. Recognize your progress, no matter how small, because it keeps you motivated and energized for the bigger goals ahead. CHALLENGE: It's time to step up and take charge—be the leader of your own life by finding your voice, embracing risks, and turning challenges into opportunities. Remember, leadership is an attitude, not a title, and you have the power to create the path you want!   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are making the effort to get beyond the offense as we seek the power of perspective. Are you quick to react and to respond, in hindsight, before you have all the information or fully understand the intent of the question or comment? This might be a hard question to answer most of this behavior is automatic and without prior thought. Reactive behavior often refers to an immediate response to feelings about an uncontrollable situation, a problem, or other issue. Being easily offended can often shut down meaningful dialogue and block personal growth. We've all been there, whether it's an offhanded comment or even something that feels more intentional and targeted. Think back to an instance you've faced. Did you react in a way that kept the dialogue going, asking good questions to understand the comment or question fully? Or, did you respond quickly, maybe even aggressively, shutting it down and removing yourself from the equation?  Either way, let's broaden our thinking as we focus on how reactionary offense often overlooks the context, intent, or deeper meaning behind someone's words or actions. Instead of retreating into defensiveness, we'll approach differing views with curiosity and openness, maintaining confidence in our own beliefs while seeking to understand the other side. Whether you're discussing religion, politics, or any number of social issues, today feels like we have adopted an us versus them mindset. We've heard terms like, you either stand for something or you stand for nothing, or you're either with us or against us. This tension is perpetuated by the media leading the listener to choose sides of this camp vs that camp. Each camp remains in a bubble of its own ideas, searching for members that agree, and content that aligns. Once your line has been drawn then any opinion that differs is quickly discounted or worse, labeled as conspiracy. Ouch. With this system, how can you possibly learn and grow?  So let's dig into some of these ideas and find strategies to avoid feeling personally attacked and instead focus on understanding where the other person is coming from. To understand why it's important to leave room for others to express themselves imperfectly, and how patience can lead to deeper understanding. To find common ground and how you can transform conversations from an “us vs. them” mindset into opportunities for connection and growth. And to explore how having confidence in your own beliefs, while staying open to new perspectives, can lead to personal and relational evolution. We better get started! Bernard J. Luskin kicks it off with The Media Psychology of Gaslighting and Social Change found at Psychology Today Tony Fahkry shares some ideas around: When We Are Easily Offended, We Close The Door To True Understanding, found on his blog Ella Powell discusses this very thing in her article; Challenging Opinions Important for Productive Discourse found on the Oberlin Review  Simon Sinek asks you to Try THIS the Next Time You Have an Uncomfortable Conversation, found on his YouTube channel Transforming conversations from an “us vs. them” mindset into opportunities for connection and growth requires deliberate strategies that foster mutual understanding and respect. Here are some effective strategies for finding common ground: Shift from Debate to Dialogue Focus on conversation, not competition: Instead of trying to “win” or prove your point, approach the discussion as an exchange of ideas where both parties can learn something new. This mindset change encourages openness. Ask more questions: Engage with genuine curiosity. By asking, “Can you explain more about how you see this?” you demonstrate a willingness to understand, not just argue. Identify Shared Values or Goals Highlight common interests: Look for areas where both parties agree, even if you differ on how to achieve them. For example, if discussing a divisive issue like policy, you might say, “It sounds like we both care about improving our community, even if we see different paths to get there.” Focus on universal values: Appeal to values that resonate with everyone, such as fairness, respect, or safety. These can act as touchpoints to ground the conversation in shared human concerns. Acknowledge Valid Points on Both Sides Validate where appropriate: Acknowledging that the other person's perspective has merit can diffuse tension and promote connection. For instance, “I can see why you'd feel that way because…” This shows respect for their viewpoint and encourages reciprocity. Recognize complexity: Instead of viewing issues as black-and-white, admit that most topics have nuances. Phrases like, “This is a complex issue, and I see how different experiences could lead to different perspectives,” can open the door to finding middle ground. Practice Active Listening Listen to understand, not to respond: Make sure the other person feels heard by fully focusing on what they're saying instead of planning your rebuttal. You could restate their points to confirm understanding, like, “So what I'm hearing is…” Pause before responding: Give yourself a moment to process what's been said before reacting. This helps prevent defensive replies and keeps the conversation thoughtful. Humanize the Other Side Personal stories over abstract arguments: Ask the other person to share personal experiences that shaped their beliefs. Stories make abstract issues feel real and relatable, fostering empathy. Sharing your own experiences can also make your stance more approachable. Find out more about their background: By asking, “What experiences have led you to that belief?” you create an environment where personal stories reveal why they think the way they do. This helps you understand their perspective on a deeper level. Reframe the Conflict as a Problem to Solve Together Collaborate, don't compete: Position the conversation as a joint effort to find solutions. Instead of arguing for individual positions, ask, “What do you think would be a good way to move forward that addresses both of our concerns?” Use inclusive language: Say “we” and “us” instead of “you” and “them” to remind the other person that you're both part of the same larger community or working toward a similar goal. Challenge Assumptions, Not Identities Focus on ideas, not people: When disagreements arise, critique the ideas or behavior, not the person. Avoid phrases that target identity or values, such as “You're wrong” or “You always think like that,” and instead say, “This particular idea doesn't resonate with me because…” Avoid stereotyping: Refrain from making assumptions about the other person's entire belief system based on one viewpoint. Ask clarifying questions to understand the specific nuance behind their opinion. Create a Safe Space for Vulnerability Set a respectful tone: Set ground rules for the conversation, ensuring that both parties feel safe to express their views without fear of ridicule. “I want this to be a space where we can explore ideas respectfully. Let's try to focus on understanding each other.” Admit when you're wrong: If you realize you've made a mistake or misunderstood something, admit it openly. This encourages the other person to do the same, making it easier to reach common ground. Look Beyond the Surface Conflict Ask “why” to get to deeper concerns: Instead of fixating on surface-level disagreements, probe deeper. Ask, “Why does this matter so much to you?” Often, the underlying concern is something more universal, like security, belonging, or fairness, which can help bridge gaps. Avoid binary thinking: When discussing divisive issues, don't frame the conversation as one person being right and the other wrong. Acknowledge that multiple perspectives can coexist and that it's possible to hold differing views without being enemies. End on a Positive Note Agree to disagree, respectfully: If the conversation doesn't result in full agreement, that's okay. It's important to acknowledge and respect differences while maintaining civility. Ending with, “I appreciate hearing your thoughts, and even though we don't fully agree, I value this conversation,” preserves the relationship. Summarize what you agree on: Before wrapping up, highlight any common points you've found. “So we both agree that [shared value], even if we see it differently, that's a great starting point.” Bonus Tip: Approach With Humility Be willing to learn: Embrace the mindset that every conversation is an opportunity for growth, not a battlefield. Accept that your understanding could evolve through dialogue and be open to revising your views when presented with compelling information or new perspectives. CHALLENGE: move beyond offense and embrace conversations as opportunities for growth. By listening with curiosity and seeking common ground, you can transform conflict into connection and open the door to deeper understanding.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are exploring how to create happiness within ourselves, how to respect others' happiness without trying to control it (because let's face it, that never works), and how to build a collective happiness that lifts us all up. If someone asked you, “Are you happy?”, what would your answer be? Does it depend on the time of day, what's happening in the world, or another person? It's ok to take a multi-pronged approach to answering that question because happiness is something we create within ourselves, respect others, and develop collectively. Because let's be real: happiness is a tricky thing to pin down, isn't it? We all want it, but sometimes we're so busy trying to make everyone else happy that we forget to take care of our own. So whether you're a self-proclaimed people-pleaser, someone who's learning to set healthy boundaries, or just figuring out what makes you smile, I'll find something for you. Let's get real about what happiness is, what it isn't, and how we can all be a little happier together. Deal? I started this study with some definitions that felt more like peeling an onion. Define happiness: the state of being happy. Ok, I should have seen that one coming. Define happy: feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. Pleasure and contentment seem like two different things so let's find out. Define pleasure: (disclaimer here….the definition of this one definitely differs by who you ask so proceed with caution) a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment. Hmmm we may need to come back to those but I think I am seeing a common thread because satisfaction and contentment might be the same as pleasure and enjoyment. Define contentment: a state of happiness and satisfaction. And we're on a loop. Looks like we need to jump off and take it from here. If I answered the aforementioned question “Are you happy?” I could honestly answer yes! I am happy. Of course, I have days of dissatisfaction and discontent but overall, I'm extremely happy. Throughout my life, my happiness has been tangled in a messy pile of yours, mine, and ours. I believed my happiness was directly tied to or a result of someone else's happiness. Like we all have to get there together or not at all, that weakened my happiness but never depleted it. Once I was able to work through the tangle and untie the knots, I had a clear path to my own happiness. I've said it before but it bears repeating: your day starts and ends with you. YOUR day starts and ends with YOU. You have the power to find happiness and let joy explode or….well fill in the blank here. Anything that is the opposite of happiness and joy needs to be a temporary state that you are currently working your way out of.  So let's get started! At I'm Calming the F#ck Down website I found a good start to start dissecting YOURS, MINE, AND OURS; MANAGING EXPECTATIONS Jennifer Williams from Heartmanity helps Create a Healthy and Happy Life with Effective Boundaries On Big Think's YouTube channel I found some really important insight on How to be happier in 5 steps with zero weird tricks | Laurie Santos Here are some practical ways to check in with yourself to make sure you're focusing on your own happiness and not overly tied to someone else's: Ask Yourself, “How Am I Feeling Today?” Why it works: Start by tuning into your own emotions regularly. It's easy to get swept up in how others feel, but this question grounds you in your own experience. Make it a habit to check in with your emotions at different times of the day. What to notice: Are you feeling anxious or down, but don't know why? This could be a sign you're too focused on someone else's mood or well-being. Check if You're Overthinking Someone Else's Problems Why it works: It's natural to care about others, but if you find yourself constantly thinking about how to fix or solve their issues, it might be a red flag that you're neglecting your own. What to ask yourself: “Is this my responsibility?” or “Have I taken on more than I should?” This helps you draw healthy boundaries between what's yours to carry and what's not. Assess Your Day-to-Day Choices Why it works: Look at your daily decisions—what you eat, how you spend your time, and what you prioritize. Are you making choices based on what truly makes you happy, or are you trying to please or accommodate someone else? What to ask yourself: “Am I doing this because I want to, or because I think it will make someone else happy?” If it's always the latter, it's time to reevaluate. Reflect on Your Motivations Why it works: Before you take action, pause and ask yourself why you're doing it. This practice helps you distinguish between acting out of genuine desire versus trying to keep someone else happy. What to ask yourself: “Am I doing this because it aligns with my values and happiness, or because I'm afraid of disappointing someone?” Set Small, Personal Goals Why it works: Focusing on small, personal goals that bring you joy will help you stay centered on your own happiness. These goals don't need to be big—they can be as simple as setting aside time for a hobby or practicing self-care. What to notice: If your goals are always centered on someone else's well-being or approval, it's a sign you need to focus more on yourself. Create Boundaries Around “Emotional Giving” Why it works: If you're constantly giving emotional support but feeling drained, it's a signal that you may be overextending yourself. Setting boundaries helps prevent emotional burnout. What to ask yourself: “Am I emotionally giving to the point where it's depleting me?” and “How can I offer support without sacrificing my own happiness?” Observe Your Reactions to Others' Moods Why it works: Notice how much your mood is influenced by others. If someone else's bad day instantly brings you down, you may be tying your emotions too closely to theirs. What to ask yourself: “Is my mood changing because of something going on with me, or am I picking up on someone else's feelings?” This helps you create emotional distance and recognize that their mood doesn't need to dictate yours. Track When You Say “Yes” Why it works: If you're always saying “yes” to requests without considering your own needs, it's a sign that you're prioritizing someone else's happiness over your own. What to ask yourself: “Am I saying yes because I genuinely want to, or am I afraid of letting someone down?” Learning to say no helps you honor your own boundaries and happiness. Spend Time Alone to Recharge Why it works: Time alone allows you to reconnect with your own needs and desires. It helps you break free from the constant influence of others and check in with what really makes you happy. What to do: Engage in solo activities you enjoy—reading, going for a walk, or meditating. Ask yourself during this time, “What do I need right now?” Examine How You Handle Disagreement Why it works: If you avoid conflict or disagreement because you don't want to upset someone, it might be a sign you're putting their happiness before your own. What to ask yourself: “Am I being true to myself, or am I just trying to keep the peace?” Standing up for your own needs, even when it's uncomfortable, is key to maintaining your happiness. Notice When You Feel Guilt Why it works: Guilt can be a sign that you're too focused on someone else's happiness. If you feel guilty for choosing your own joy or saying no to someone, it's time to reflect. What to ask yourself: “Why do I feel guilty? Am I doing something wrong, or am I just putting myself first for a change?” Celebrate Your Own Wins Why it works: Take time to celebrate your personal achievements and milestones, no matter how small. This reminds you that your happiness doesn't have to be tied to anyone else's. What to do: At the end of each day or week, list out things you did for yourself—anything from completing a task to taking a moment of self-care. Recognize that you deserve happiness and fulfillment independent of others. CHALLENGE: Reclaim your happiness and make it your own! Challenge yourself to focus on what truly brings you joy, while letting go of the need to control or depend on someone else's happiness—because when you're thriving, you inspire others to do the same.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are exploring a love without ‘ifs as we calculate the ROI of unconditional giving. Have you ever delivered or been delivered an ultimatum when it comes to love? “I will love you IF….”? How did that make you feel? Well welcome to a conversation that flips the script on giving! Let's dive into why giving to get will leave your ROI completely upside down. We'll be exploring the power of unconditional giving—no strings attached, no hidden agendas. It's all about the deep, soul-level rewards that come when we stop expecting anything in return. After all, love doesn't come with “ifs” or conditions. So, let's break down why the best payoffs come when you're not even looking for one—and why giving with no expectations just might be the ultimate life hack! As someone who had to learn the hard way that caring and controlling aren't the same thing, this concept didn't come naturally to me. When you struggle with people-pleasing, loving with conditions can feel like second nature. Even when you think you're giving love without expecting anything in return, it doesn't take long before you realize that, deep down, you're still craving validation. It's a sneaky little expectation that can undermine the whole point of unconditional love. Don't worry, it may feel a bit like splitting hairs but when the revelation of the difference hits your “over the rim” thinking, a new perspective will open up an exciting new path with soul-nurturing payoffs! A people pleaser can easily mistake care for controlling behavior because, on the surface, both can seem driven by kindness or concern for others. However, the difference lies in the motivation and expectations behind the actions. When you're genuinely caring, you offer support, love, or help without expecting anything in return. You're tuned in to the needs of others and respect their autonomy. On the other hand, when care becomes controlling, it's often about managing outcomes—trying to influence someone's behavior or decisions to get validation, maintain approval, or reduce anxiety. For a people pleaser, this fine line is crossed when the focus shifts from simply caring for someone to subtly manipulating situations in order to keep peace, avoid conflict, or secure affection. It's when you're doing things to make yourself feel better rather than genuinely considering what's best for the other person. The key difference is intention: caring allows for freedom, while controlling is about managing outcomes for your own comfort. Recognizing when your help is tied to your own emotional needs or expectations can help you avoid crossing that line. To test yourself and keep your behavior in check when navigating the line between caring and controlling, try these strategies: Ask “Why am I doing this?” Before you take action, pause and check your motives. Are you offering help because the other person truly needs it, or are you seeking validation or approval? If your reason is more about easing your own discomfort, it may be a sign of control. Let go of the outcome Caring means allowing the other person to choose how they respond, even if the outcome isn't what you want. If you feel anxious about not getting the “right” response, it's time to step back and reassess whether you're trying to control the situation. Give people space to fail Real care respects others' autonomy and their right to make mistakes. If you feel compelled to step in to “fix” everything, you might be more focused on controlling than supporting. Let them handle it, even if it means learning from failures. Practice active listening When you're in people-pleasing mode, you might jump to offer solutions without really hearing what the other person needs. Slow down, listen fully, and ask if they actually want your help before offering it. Set boundaries—for yourself Boundaries aren't just for others; you need them too! Notice when you're over-extending yourself to meet someone else's needs, and check if you're doing so out of a genuine desire or a need to feel validated. Check for resentment If you find yourself feeling resentful or disappointed when your efforts aren't acknowledged or appreciated, it's a red flag. True care is given freely, without strings. If resentment creeps in, it's a sign you may be attaching conditions to your giving. Reflect on past patterns Take time to reflect on situations where you've felt drained or frustrated in your efforts to help. Did you expect something in return, even if it was just gratitude or validation? Recognizing these patterns can help you stay aware in the future. By regularly using these self-checks, you'll be able to identify when you're slipping into controlling behavior and steer back toward healthy, unconditional care. Shikha Rastogi arms us with Conditional vs. Unconditional Love: How to Tell the Difference found at the Emotional Intelligence Magazine Jason Merchey shares Altruism in Action: Helping Others is a Virtue found at Values of the Wise Over on Evan Carmichael's YouTube channel, I found some unexpected advice from Warren Buffett on the Key to Life. CHALLENGE: Give love and care without expecting anything in return—start with small acts and watch how they transform not only the people around you, but also your own sense of fulfillment. Let go of control, embrace genuine compassion, and see how unconditional giving becomes the ultimate reward!   I Know YOU Can Do It!  

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are simplifying life beyond the details as we zoom out to see the bigger picture. Having a hard time seeing the forest for the trees? Caught up in the minutia of life and never feel like you truly have a grasp on what's important? Life often gets overwhelming when we get caught up in the small details—stress, distractions, and the constant busyness of our day-to-day. But when we step back, we realize that what truly matters is simple: connections, purpose, and personal growth. We'll explore how shifting our focus from the non-essentials to the bigger picture brings clarity, peace, and a deeper sense of fulfillment. Let's dive into ways to refocus, simplify, and see life for what it really is—a series of meaningful moments and lessons. I think this kind of perspective isn't always easy to obtain, and maybe that's on purpose. I mean, if you were always able to see the bigger picture would you even recognize that it IS in fact the bigger picture? Harlan Ellison said, "Without pain, there can be no pleasure. Without sadness, there can be no happiness. Without misery there can be no beauty". They say hindsight is 20/20 meaning it's easier to understand something after it has already happened. So what should this big-picture thinking do to you today?   It helps you in everyday life by giving you more clarity and a better perspective. Instead of getting stuck on the little things that go wrong, it helps you focus on what really matters. It makes it easier to handle daily stress because you're not sweating the small stuff. You start to prioritize what's important, making choices that align with your bigger goals. It helps you stay focused on the long run and see challenges as just part of the process. In the end, it keeps you grounded and helps you live more intentionally. I don't know about you…but I want more of that! Techlyticaly helps us challenge this thinking with Seeing Things Differently: How Perspective Changes Everything found on Linkedin Patrick Buggy offers some inspiring ideas on What to do When You Feel Stuck in a Rut found at Mindful Ambitions On Lena Samford's blog, I found some more ideas about How to See the Bigger Picture On the Art of Movement's YouTube channel, I found 20 Things Most People Learn Too Late In Life Here are some effective visioning exercises to help broaden your thinking: Future Self Visualization: Close your eyes and imagine your life five or ten years from now. Picture where you are, what you're doing, and how you feel. Write down the details to clarify your goals and aspirations. Mind Mapping: Start with a central idea or goal and branch out with related concepts, tasks, or dreams. This visual representation can help you see connections and generate new ideas. Journaling: Dedicate time each week to write about your thoughts, dreams, and experiences. Reflecting on your journey can reveal patterns and insights about your bigger picture. Vision Board Creation: Collect images, quotes, and symbols that represent your goals and dreams. Arrange them on a board to create a visual reminder of what you aspire to achieve. Role-Playing Scenarios: Imagine how you would approach specific situations or challenges as your future self. This can help you think more creatively about solutions and opportunities. Goal Setting Retreat: Take a day or weekend away from your usual environment to focus solely on your long-term vision. Set aside time for brainstorming, reflecting, and planning. Reverse Engineering: Start with your end goal and work backward. Outline the steps needed to achieve it, identifying potential obstacles and resources along the way. Gratitude Reflection: Regularly reflect on what you're grateful for in your life. This can help you recognize the bigger picture of your journey and motivate you to continue pursuing your dreams. Group Brainstorming: Collaborate with others to discuss ideas and visions. Diverse perspectives can spark new thoughts and help you see possibilities you hadn't considered. Meditative Reflection: Spend time in meditation focused on your goals and dreams. Quieting your mind can help clarify what truly matters to you and expand your vision. CHALLENGE: Don't let the small stuff keep you stuck—challenge yourself to step back, broaden your perspective, and see the bigger picture. By shifting your focus, you'll find clarity, purpose, and the freedom to pursue what truly matters in your life.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are hopefully going to come to the realization that you don't have to choose just one path in life but you can explore multiple passions and always reinvent yourself. When was the first time someone asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up? Four or five? As if you even know there were a varied array of options at that age not to mention what you were even capable of. Fast forward, are you there yet? You don't have to stick to just one path in life—explore your passions and embrace the idea of doing more than one thing! Whether it's pursuing a new interest, changing careers, or adding a side project, you can always reinvent yourself. It's never too late to grow, learn, and discover new opportunities that align with who you are today.  My earliest memory was somewhere before age five and I wanted to be an actress. My parents recorded me saying that I wanted to be this because I had a long, red, sparkly dress. I must have just watched a red carpet awards show or something. Even though I did end up doing a variety of plays, a little modeling, and some B-rated promo videos I am not an actress. Then in High School, I watched a lot of People's Court and thought I wanted to be a lawyer which is funny since they represent themselves but I'm not, a lawyer. My Dad thought I should be a nurse because I love people and am so encouraging. Even though I'm a Grey's Anatomy junkie I am not, a nurse. My first-grade teachers and every teacher thereafter said I talk too much…ding ding, I am in sales, marketing, and public speaking. But that's not all I do. Today I'm a life, recovery, and career coach, a VP of operations, I run support groups, am a motivational speaker, a Hospice volunteer, a CEO mentor, a Woman in Business, and an avid crocheter who also loves to sew! I love a lot of things and feel I'm good at a lot of things and there are days were I'm still answering that question; of what I want to be when I grow up.  Maybe you're just getting started. Maybe you're at a crossroads and looking for something different, or maybe it's all in your rearview mirror and you're ready for phase 2. I say follow your curiosity and create a life that reflects all the things you're passionate about. There's no limit to what you can do! Irina Cozma asks and offers answers on Values, Passion, or Purpose — Which Should Guide Your Career? Found on the Harvard Business Review Kathy Caprino says Stop Searching For Career Passion -- You Won't Find It That Way found at Forbes Kirsty Perrin is the Director at The Winning Edge Mindset and gave a Ted Talk on How you can reinvent yourself for success.  Uncovering your passions is an exciting journey of self-discovery! Here are some strategies to help you find what truly excites you: Reflect on what energizes you: Think about activities, conversations, or tasks that make you feel alive, focused, or fulfilled. What do you enjoy doing in your free time? Revisit childhood interests: Sometimes the things we loved as children hold clues to our true passions. Did you love art, building things, or exploring nature? Rediscover those activities. Experiment and explore: Try new things—take up hobbies, join classes, or attend workshops. The more you expose yourself to different experiences, the more likely you are to find something that resonates. Identify your strengths: What do others often praise you for? Your natural talents can offer insights into what you enjoy and excel at, leading you toward activities you're passionate about. Pay attention to curiosity: Notice what topics or activities you feel curious about or want to learn more about. Follow your curiosity—it's often a sign that something could be a passion. Consider your values: Reflect on what matters most to you—helping others, creativity, adventure, or learning? Your passions are often aligned with your core values. Ask yourself questions: What do you find yourself daydreaming about? What would you do if money were no object? What problems in the world do you feel drawn to solve? Talk to others: Connect with people who are passionate about different things. Their enthusiasm can spark ideas and inspire you to explore areas you hadn't considered before. Take note of your flow moments: When do you lose track of time because you're so immersed in what you're doing? These “flow” moments are often indicators of passion. CHALLENGE: You have the power to shape your potential—challenge your self-talk and start believing in your ability to grow, learn, and take on new opportunities. Push past limiting thoughts and take bold action today; you're capable of far more than you think!   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we unleash our instincts and seize the moment as we find our voice and speak our truth. How many moments have passed you by? Has the cat got your tongue as you overanalyzed a situation instead of acting on impulse? That is time you can't get back and possibilities that will never be. Life's too short to hold back. Acting on instinct and speaking your truth in the moment is about embracing the now, not waiting for the ‘perfect' time. When you trust your gut and say what you mean, you create real connections, take bolder actions, and live more authentically. Time is precious, and we don't always get second chances to express how we feel or take that leap. It's about being brave, trusting yourself, and seizing every opportunity before it slips away. What is holding you back? Have you ever stepped back and widened your perspective to better understand why you second-guess yourself? No really, it is that easy. So many times we act or don't act but never question why. You aren't a robot programmed by someone else. You have complete power and if you don't, it's time to take it back. Operating on instinct does not mean operating on auto-pilot. It means when you feel led to act…act. If you don't trust yourself to take that kind of quick action then there is something there that needs our attention. Overcoming self-doubt is key to acting on instinct and truly seizing the moment. We often second-guess ourselves, waiting until we feel “ready,” but the truth is, there's no perfect time. Self-doubt holds us back from expressing what's in our hearts and taking bold steps forward. When you push past those doubts and trust yourself, you unlock the power to act with confidence and authenticity. It's about realizing that your voice matters, your instincts are valid, and every moment you hesitate is a moment missed. Let's dive into this topic so we can reach a level of trust with yourself because you're more capable than you think. Joe Costello asks, What's Holding You Back? - found on LinkedIn On Mel Robbin's YouTube channel, I found so important tips on -  What's The Quickest Way To Success? Ending This One Habit | Mel Robbins At My Saltwater Skyline I found Time is Precious: Making the Most of Each Moment Building trust in yourself is about developing confidence in your abilities, decisions, and instincts. It's a process that takes time, self-awareness, and practice. Here are some steps to help you build that self-trust: Keep Promises to Yourself: Start by setting small, achievable goals and following through with them. Whether it's sticking to a daily habit or completing a task, honoring your commitments to yourself builds self-trust over time. Acknowledge Your Strengths: Reflect on what you're good at. Make a list of your strengths, skills, and past accomplishments. Recognizing your capabilities reinforces the belief that you can handle future challenges. Learn from Mistakes, Don't Dwell on Them: Mistakes are inevitable, but instead of beating yourself up, see them as learning opportunities. When you accept that errors are part of growth, it helps you feel more comfortable taking risks and trusting your judgment. Be Decisive: Practice making decisions without overanalyzing or seeking constant reassurance from others. Trusting yourself in small decisions helps you build confidence for bigger ones. Even if the outcome isn't perfect, you'll learn that you can handle it. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself, especially during tough times. Self-criticism erodes self-trust, while self-compassion fosters a sense of security in your ability to handle whatever comes your way. Honor Your Values: Stay true to what matters to you. When your actions align with your core values, it reinforces your belief in yourself and gives you a clear sense of direction. Listen to Your Instincts: Begin trusting your gut feelings. Acting on small intuitive decisions builds a sense of self-reliance. The more you follow your instincts, the more confidence you'll gain in their accuracy. Set Boundaries: Protect your energy and well-being by setting boundaries with others. This shows that you respect your own needs, reinforcing that you can rely on yourself to prioritize your well-being. Celebrate Progress: Recognize and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Each time you succeed or make a positive decision, it strengthens your belief in yourself. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Surround yourself with people who support and believe in you. Positive reinforcement from others helps boost your self-confidence and trust in your abilities. Building trust in yourself is about consistently showing up for yourself, learning from the journey, and practicing self-kindness. As you cultivate this self-trust, you'll become more confident in your decisions and actions. CHALLENGE: Trust your gut, take that leap, and let those small actions build into something amazing. Stop waiting—seize the moment, follow your instincts, and watch how those every day wins turn into something life-changing.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are exploring the science behind joy and how to cultivate it as we strive to understand happiness. You might have figured out by now that it isn't always as easy as turning that frown upside down and faking it until you make it, can involve a lot of lying and manipulation, leading to dishonesty with yourself. Finding happiness isn't just about feeling good—it's about living a fulfilling life. Understanding what truly makes us happy helps us navigate the ups and downs, making every day a bit brighter. By exploring the science of happiness, we can learn practical ways to cultivate joy and contentment in our lives. It's not about chasing some perfect, blissful state; it's about finding what really matters to us and making space for it. And when we do that, not only do we feel better, but we also become better equipped to handle whatever life throws our way. So let's dive into what happiness really means and how we can all bring a little more of it into our lives! By now you've figured out, I'm a pretty positive person. But it's a choice and not something that has always come easily. I've had my share of strife, complex challenges, and downright trauma but I chose not to live there. You're right, that's not as easy as it sounds either. To overcome and move on, I had to come face to face with any and all challenges, take personal responsibility, offer myself forgiveness, and decide to let it go in order to move on. Now that's a journey but the learning is important and the freedom it provides, is priceless. That doesn't mean that I don't get down or have off days. A good 24 hour pity party can be as detoxing as a super cleanse but I don't stay there. A therapist once said it's ok to invite sadness in, even to let it stay awhile, but then you have to be willing to ask it to leave.  It's hard to recognize or be grateful for happiness without a bit of suffering so we will have to cover both sides of the coin.  Dr. Nicole Celestine helps us understand The Science of Happiness in Positive Psychology 101 - found at Positive Psychology  On the Absolute Motivation's YouTube channel, I found Jim Carrey - How To Find Happiness In Life | A Chilling Speech Terri Kozlowski shares some strategies around how to Take Responsibility To Edit Your Life And Practical Ways To Do It - found on LinkedIn Joy, like other emotions, is a complex interplay of neurological, psychological, and social factors. Here's a breakdown of the science: Neurology of Joy Dopamine Release: Joy is closely linked to the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that plays a significant role in our reward system. When we experience something pleasurable or rewarding, dopamine is released, making us feel good. Endorphins: These are the body's natural painkillers and stress relievers. They are released during activities like exercise, laughter, or even eating certain foods, contributing to feelings of joy. Oxytocin: Often called the “love hormone,” oxytocin is released during social bonding activities like hugging, spending time with loved ones, or acts of kindness. It enhances feelings of connection and joy. Psychological Factors Positive Psychology: This field of psychology studies what makes life worth living. Researchers have identified key components of joy, such as gratitude, mindfulness, and optimism. Practicing these can increase our overall sense of well-being and joy. Flow State: Joy often arises when we're fully engaged in an activity we enjoy, losing track of time and self-consciousness. This state, known as “flow,” is associated with deep satisfaction and happiness. Social and Environmental Influences Social Connections: Strong, positive relationships are one of the most consistent predictors of happiness. Sharing joyful moments with others amplifies our experience of joy. Environment: Our surroundings also play a role. Being in nature, experiencing beauty, or even living in a supportive community can boost our sense of joy. Evolutionary Perspective From an evolutionary standpoint, joy has played a critical role in human survival. Positive emotions like joy help us build social bonds, find meaning in life, and motivate us to pursue goals and engage in activities that ensure our survival and well-being. Cultivating Joy Gratitude Practice: Regularly reflecting on what you're thankful for can increase feelings of joy. Mindfulness: Being present in the moment allows us to fully experience and appreciate joyful moments. Acts of Kindness: Doing something kind for others often leads to a “helper's high,” a burst of joy from knowing you've made a positive impact. The science behind joy reveals that it's not just a fleeting emotion but a powerful, essential part of our well-being. By understanding and intentionally cultivating joy, we can enhance our lives and the lives of those around us.   CHALLENGE: Take charge of your happiness by letting go of what no longer serves you and embracing the power of the present. Challenge yourself to rewrite your story, one filled with joy, resilience, and the belief that you deserve a life of fulfillment. I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show… we are discovering pathmakers as we honor the past while shaping the future.  A pathmaker is someone who blazes a trail in uncharted territory, often breaking through barriers, challenging norms, and creating opportunities where none existed before. They are innovators, leaders, and pioneers who pave the way for others to follow, making significant contributions that leave a lasting impact on society, culture, or a specific field. Pathmakers not only achieve remarkable things in their own lives but also inspire and enable future generations to continue building on the foundation they've laid. So let's take a deep dive into the journey of those who've come before us—those incredible individuals who've paved the way for the world we live in today. As we reflect on their legacies, we'll also be thinking about our own. What kind of impact are we leaving behind? Let's explore how we can honor the past while shaping a future that truly matters. It's all about appreciating the pathmakers who've led the way and considering how we, too, can create a lasting legacy.  I love this anonymous quote: “What you leave as a legacy is not what is etched in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” Do you feel like you're still figuring everything out and aren't quite ready for a recorded legacy yet? You know, off the record, so to speak. Unless your child prodigy, when do you peak in understanding and effort? Maybe you're waiting for the Nobel peace prize and maybe you're not sure the accumulation of your life is worthy to be memorialized but either way, you're leaving a legacy. The things you say and do matter. They shape, form, and make an impact on those you come in contact with. The seeds you plant run deep and will likely bloom outside of your control.  No pressure!  You can't rewrite history or miraculously solve the world's problems so outside of those two things, what if we just agree to start living with more intention? From today forward, we will think before we act. Think about the last impact our actions will have on those around us and beyond.  Can we start there? Good…outside of that, let's learn more.  Elizabeth Perry helps by mapping out the steps of Leaving a legacy: How to make a lasting impression - found at Better Up On the TedTalks YouTube channel I found The importance of leaving a legacy | Minke Haveman  Candy Barone explains Living Legacy: What Is It and Why You Need to Be Intentional About Leading Yours - found on LinkedIn History offers valuable lessons when we think about our own legacy, guiding us in understanding the impact we can have on the future. Here are a few key insights: The Power of Resilience: Lesson: Many historical figures faced immense challenges and adversity, yet their determination and resilience allowed them to make lasting contributions. History teaches us that perseverance in the face of difficulties can lead to enduring change. Application: In considering our legacy, embracing resilience can help us navigate obstacles and stay committed to our goals, knowing that challenges can lead to growth and progress. The Importance of Values: Lesson: Historical pathmakers often stood firm in their values, whether it was justice, equality, innovation, or compassion. Their legacies are often defined by their unwavering commitment to these principles. Application: Reflecting on our values and living them consistently can ensure that our legacy reflects what we truly believe in and stands the test of time. The Ripple Effect of Actions: Lesson: History shows that even small actions can have a profound impact. The decisions and actions of individuals often ripple out, influencing generations to come. Application: Recognizing that our everyday choices and actions contribute to our legacy can inspire us to act with intention, knowing that we are shaping the future in ways we may not even realize. The Role of Innovation: Lesson: Innovators in history, from scientists to artists, have shown that thinking differently and pushing boundaries can lead to groundbreaking advancements. Their legacies are often marked by the new paths they created. Application: Embracing creativity and innovation in our own lives can help us leave a legacy of progress, inspiring others to continue exploring and expanding what's possible. The Impact of Community and Collaboration: Lesson: Many historical achievements were the result of collaboration and the collective efforts of communities. Movements that changed the world were often driven by groups of people working together towards a common goal. Application: Understanding the power of community and collaboration can encourage us to build strong relationships, work with others, and contribute to something greater than ourselves. The Significance of Mentorship and Influence: Lesson: History is full of examples where one person's influence, mentorship, or guidance helped shape the path of another, leading to significant developments. Application: By mentoring and uplifting others, we can extend our legacy beyond our own achievements, empowering the next generation to carry forward our impact. The Legacy of Compassion and Service: Lesson: Figures like Mother Teresa or Nelson Mandela are remembered not just for their accomplishments but for their compassion and service to others. Their legacies are defined by the lives they touched and the changes they fostered through empathy and kindness. Application: Focusing on how we can positively impact others and our communities ensures that our legacy is one of compassion, leaving the world a better place for future generations. CHALLENGE: Your legacy starts with the choices you make today—embrace resilience, live your values, and take action with purpose. Challenge yourself to make a lasting impact, knowing that the path you pave will inspire and guide future generations. I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are exploring the paradox of control and how trying to control others ends up controlling you. Have you ever wondered if your well-intentioned help might actually be a bit too much? It's easy to blur the lines between being supportive and being controlling without even realizing it. Sometimes, what we see as helping might actually be holding others back. Slippery slope? I don't want to give you another thing to stress about but it's easy to go from helping to controlling because our desire to see things done well or protect those we care about can lead us to overstep boundaries. What starts as genuine concern can quickly turn into micromanagement, especially when we feel responsible for the outcomes or anxious about losing control. So let's dive into the subtle differences between helping and controlling, and explore how we can make sure our good intentions truly empower those around us. Curious to see where you stand. Let's find out together! I always thought I was being helpful…always until I was able to get some perspective and see the difference. It's ok if you're not there yet, that's the journey. The fact that you are committed to getting a better vantage point and some positive alternatives to some of life's challenges and a HUGE first step. Remember the saying, “The road is paved with good intentions”? Well it's actually referring to the road to hell but I think it can apply here too because it means, the difference between what someone intends to do and the outcome of their actions. Maybe you initially jumped in to help and maybe you wanted to control the situation from the start and the lines were just a blur. Let's sharpen the focus as we figure out the difference… Samantha Ann helps us identify the difference between Controlling vs Caring: A Thin Line Controlling People Love to Cross found at Love Panky On the SlightlyBetter YouTube channel, I found 8 Things Controlling Personalities Do To Keep You Under Them Hailey Magee shares her story on How I Stopped Trying to Control My Partner and Took Responsibility for My Own Happiness - found at The Gottman Institute  Figuring out if you're actually being helpful or starting to be a bit controlling takes some self-reflection and thinking about your motives and how your actions affect others. Here are some ways to check yourself: Check Your Motives Ask Yourself: Why am I offering help or advice? Is it because I genuinely want to support this person, or because I feel anxious if things aren't done my way? Helpful: If your intention is to empower the other person and you're okay with the outcome, even if it's different from what you would do. Controlling: If your intention is to ensure things are done according to your standards, or to alleviate your own discomfort or anxiety. Consider the Other Person's Autonomy Ask Yourself: Am I allowing the other person to make their own choices, or am I trying to steer them toward what I think is best? Helpful: If you respect the other person's right to make their own decisions, even if they choose differently than you would. Controlling: If you're pushing your agenda, making decisions for them, or not giving them the space to make their own choices. Observe Their Response Ask Yourself: How does the other person react when I offer help or advice? Do they seem appreciative, or do they appear uncomfortable or resistant? Helpful: If the other person feels supported, empowered, and grateful for your input. Controlling: If they seem frustrated, distant, or resistant, it could be a sign that they feel smothered or undermined. Reflect on Your Emotional State Ask Yourself: How do I feel if the person doesn't take my advice or doesn't accept my help? Helpful: If you're at peace with their decision and don't feel the need to push further. Controlling: If you feel irritated, anxious, or disappointed when they don't follow your guidance. Assess the Frequency and Context Ask Yourself: How often am I stepping in to offer help or advice? Is it in situations where it's truly needed, or am I doing it constantly, even when not asked? Helpful: If you offer help selectively, in situations where it's genuinely needed, and when the other person asks for it. Controlling: If you find yourself frequently intervening, even in situations where the other person is capable or didn't ask for assistance. Solicit Feedback Ask Them: How do you feel about the help or advice I'm giving? Do you feel supported or overwhelmed? Helpful: If they express that your support is valuable and that they feel empowered. Controlling: If they indicate that your help feels more like pressure or that they feel micromanaged. Evaluate the Balance of Power Ask Yourself: Am I trying to maintain control or power in this situation, or am I empowering the other person? Helpful: If your actions encourage the other person's growth, independence, and self-confidence. Controlling: If your actions are more about maintaining control or ensuring things go your way. CHALLENGE: Recognize where your well-meaning actions might be crossing into control and take steps to shift toward empowering others. By embracing true personal responsibility, you'll build stronger, more trusting relationships that allow everyone to thrive.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show….we are peeling back the layers to build more authentic connections amid this tech-driven world. Got a lot of “friends” but still feel lonely? Receiving a lot of “likes” and “loves” but still feeling unheard? Take a minute and count your authentic connections. You know the ones who have your back and you have theirs. You call them and they show up to celebrate or get you back on your feet. They are priceless and they didn't happen by accident. In today's tech-heavy world, it's easy to feel like we're buried under layers of screens and gadgets, which can make real, authentic connections seem out of reach. But here's the good news: peeling back those layers isn't as hard as it sounds! Let's dive into how to cut through the digital noise and build genuine relationships that enrich our lives.  Having a tight inner circle is critical and yes, exclusive. I have friends who have been with me through thick and thin. They have loved me even through the unlovable stages of my life. And let me tell you, there were many. They are gold and unshakable. I hope I'm half the friend to them as they are to me.  Woodrow Wilson said, “Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together." If that's true, shouldn't we take it super seriously? That means effort, being strategic, and adopting a give/get approach.  At Your Life Your Voice I found a breakdown of the different circles of friendship. At TedEd's YouTube channel, I found some good information on How friendship affects your brain - Shannon Odell

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are searching for a balanced life as we aim to find fulfillment beyond the daily grind. All work and no play may have you out of alignment and in a rut. All for you and nothing for them may have you starving your generous nature. An uneven or unstable footing can cause you to struggle to level your intentions for a calmer life that provides more meaning. Feeling out of balance is something many of us face, especially when we get caught up in one aspect of our lives—be it career, family, friends, our spirituality, or personal joy—while neglecting others. But here's the good news: recognizing this imbalance is the first step to fixing it. Take a step back, breathe, and look at the bigger picture. What areas are thriving, and which ones need more love and attention? Let's create a plan to nurture all parts of your life. Maybe it's setting aside time for family dinners, scheduling regular self-care activities, or finding moments for spiritual reflection. Remember, it's all about small, consistent steps to bring harmony and fulfillment back into your life. You've got this! Balance is an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady. It's a condition where different elements are equal or in the correct proportions. Sounds a lot like harmony, right? We often strive to give all aspects of our lives equal effort, but is that really realistic? Not always. Personal seasons bring natural shifts in our goals and outcomes. Sometimes, one area needs your undivided attention, and everything else has to wait. These are just seasons in your life, and they will course-correct if you keep things in perspective. Embrace the ebb and flow, and trust that balance will find its way back. Seeing the bigger picture isn't always easy, so have a little patience with yourself. Realizing the need for a better vantage point to accurately evaluate needs versus desires is a crucial step toward finding balance. Take your time, reflect, and be kind to yourself as you navigate this journey. Mick from InsideOut Mastery asks and answers: Feeling Unfulfilled in life? Here are the 9 Common Reasons Why Jack Canfield helps us solve How To Find Balance In Your Life found on his website Let's learn a little more from Jack Canfield on How to Politely Say No Without Hurting Feelings | found on his YouTube channel At this stage, asking yourself the right questions can provide clarity and insight. Here are some questions to consider: Prioritization and Time Allocation: Am I dedicating enough time to each important aspect of my life (e.g., career, family, health, hobbies)? Which areas of my life are receiving too much attention, and which are being neglected? Personal Fulfillment: What activities or aspects of my life bring me the most joy and satisfaction? Am I making time for the things that genuinely make me happy? Health and Well-being: How am I taking care of my physical, emotional, and mental health? Am I getting enough rest, exercise, and healthy nutrition? Relationships: Are my relationships with family, friends, and colleagues positive and fulfilling? Do I make enough time for social interactions and nurturing my relationships? Career and Personal Growth: Am I satisfied with my career progress and professional growth? Do I feel challenged and motivated by my work? Stress and Burnout: Do I often feel overwhelmed or stressed? What steps am I taking to manage stress and prevent burnout? Purpose and Goals: Do I have clear short-term and long-term goals for various areas of my life? Am I aligning my daily activities with my overall life purpose and goals? Flexibility and Adaptability: How well do I adapt to changes and unexpected situations in my life? Am I flexible in adjusting my plans and priorities when necessary? Self-Reflection and Growth: Do I regularly take time to reflect on my life and make necessary adjustments? What have I learned about myself recently, and how can I apply that knowledge? Balance and Harmony: Do I feel a sense of balance and harmony in my life, or is something off-kilter? What small changes can I make to bring more balance and harmony into my daily routine? Fulfillment and Meaning: Do I feel fulfilled in my daily life, or is something missing? What steps can I take to add more meaning and fulfillment to my life? Boundaries: Am I setting healthy boundaries to protect my time and energy? Do I know when to say no to avoid overcommitting myself? Reflecting on these questions can help you gain a deeper understanding of where you stand and what adjustments might be needed to achieve a more balanced and fulfilling life. CHALLENGE: Take a step back and evaluate the balance in your life—identify areas that need more attention and make a plan to nurture them. Embrace the journey towards harmony, knowing that small, consistent steps can lead to a more fulfilling and well-rounded life.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we're getting some relief as we navigate the fine line between pressure and stress. Mind overwhelmed, heart in a vice, trying to catch your breath as you process all you have to learn, understand, do, and deliver? Looking for something or anything to give you a temporary reprieve? Hold up, you don't have to live this way. Instead of checking out or numbing up, let's try to power through looking for a clear understanding of what's going on and adopting positive alternatives to chart a more productive path. Figuring out the difference between pressure and stress can help you turn challenges into motivation instead of feeling overwhelmed. Once you get it, you'll handle tough situations like a pro while keeping your cool! "The truth is that stress doesn't come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances." - Andrew Bernstein At Mind Tools I found some effective tips for Coping Under Pressure Lawrence Robinson and Melinda Smith, M.A. provide Techniques & Strategies to Deal with Stress, in their article Stress Management found at helpguide.org Over at Ted-ed's YouTube channel, I found How Stress Affects Your Body Stress can really impact those around you, especially kids. Here's how: Emotional Contagion: Kids are super perceptive and can easily pick up on your emotions. If you're stressed, they'll likely feel anxious or worried too. Behavioral Influence: When you're stressed, you might be more irritable or less patient. This can affect how you interact with kids, leading to strained relationships and a negative vibe. Role Modeling: Kids look up to adults as examples. If they see you handling stress poorly, they might pick up those same habits. On the flip side, showing healthy ways to manage stress can teach them good coping skills. Communication Breakdown: Stress can make it harder to communicate well. This can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts, leaving kids feeling unsupported. Creating a Tense Environment: Being constantly stressed can make the atmosphere tense and uneasy. Kids do best in a calm and supportive environment, and too much stress can get in the way of their emotional growth. Impact on Learning and Development: Your stress can affect a child's ability to concentrate and learn. A stressful environment can disrupt their routine and make it harder for them to feel secure and focused. So, managing your stress not only helps you but also creates a better, more supportive environment for kids to thrive in. CHALLENGE: Navigating the fine line between pressure and stress empowers you to turn challenges into opportunities for growth while maintaining your well-being. Embrace effective strategies and a positive mindset to stay motivated and resilient in the face of life's demands.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are unlocking the basics as we explore simple life skills everyone needs but often overlooks. In today's fast-paced world, it's no surprise that many people struggle with basic life skills. Between the rise of technology and the hustle of modern life, skills like cooking, budgeting, and effective communication often fall by the wayside. But fear not! By taking small, intentional steps, we can all brush up on these essential skills. Think of it as a fun, ongoing learning adventure—whether it's whipping up a new recipe, setting up a simple budget, or mastering the art of active listening. Let's embrace the journey together and support each other in becoming more well-rounded and capable individuals! So let's address some simple life skills that shouldn't be overlooked.  Here are just a few we will explore: Time Management: Prioritizing tasks and setting realistic deadlines. Avoiding procrastination and effectively scheduling their time. Effective Communication: Listening actively and empathetically. Expressing thoughts and feelings clearly and assertively without being aggressive. Emotional Regulation: Managing stress and anxiety in healthy ways. Recognizing and processing emotions effectively. Problem-Solving: Identifying problems and breaking them down into manageable parts. Generating and evaluating potential solutions. Relationship Building: Developing and maintaining healthy relationships. Understanding the importance of boundaries and mutual respect. Critical Thinking: Evaluating information critically and making informed decisions. Recognizing biases and logical fallacies. Negotiation Skills: Negotiating effectively in personal and professional settings. Understanding the importance of compromise and finding win-win solutions. Organizational Skills: Keeping personal and professional spaces organized. Developing systems for managing information and tasks efficiently. Adaptability: Adjusting to new situations and changes with flexibility. Embracing change as an opportunity for growth rather than a threat. Saimantee Bhattacharya shares Unveiling the Missing Link: The Craving for Life Skills in a High-Tech World found on Linkedin On the Art of Improvement's YouTube channel, I found Nicolas Cole's 20 Things Most People Learn Too Late In Life Bruce Tulgan shows us How to Begin Boosting Your Soft Skills found at Psychology Today CHALLENGE: Unlocking basic life skills can elevate your daily journey and amplify your confidence. Begin today by embracing small, practical steps to master these essentials, and witness how they empower you to thrive and shine in any situation.   I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are looking for a little harmony in our hustle as we master work, life, and personal growth. Ever feel like you're juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle? Why do some people appear to be killing it on the highwire of life while the rest of us feel like a low-budget sideshow act? Guess what? You would probably be shocked to learn that some see you as the put-together and confident ringmaster running it all with precision. Before you scoff, remember, that life isn't as it always appears. But hey, we're all in this circus together! It's all about finding that sweet spot where you're crushing your goals without losing yourself in the chaos. According to Hubstaff.com, 48% of workers call themselves “workaholics”, 66% skip one meal per day due to working hours, and 60% of US workers say they don't have boundaries between work responsibilities and life. Ouch. Let's flip the script on burnout and turn this balancing act into a dance. Chibs Okereke takes you From Work-Life Balance to Work-Life Harmony: A New Path for High-Achievers found on Linkedin On Clark Kegley's YouTube channel, I found 5 small HABITS that will change YOUR life forever Recognizing when your life is out of harmony between work and personal growth can help you get back on track. Here are some warning signs to watch out for: Constant Fatigue: Feeling perpetually exhausted, even after a full night's sleep, is a red flag that your balance might be off. Increased Irritability: If you're snapping at people or feeling unusually frustrated, it could be a sign that stress is taking over. Lack of Enthusiasm: Losing interest in activities you used to enjoy or feeling indifferent about work and personal projects can indicate burnout. Neglected Self-Care: Skipping meals, neglecting exercise, or ignoring mental health can be signs that you're too consumed by work. Declining Performance: Struggling to meet deadlines, making more mistakes, or experiencing a drop in productivity can signal that your balance is disrupted. Strained Relationships: If friends and family are noticing your absence or you're feeling disconnected from your loved ones, it's a strong indicator that work is overshadowing your personal life. Feeling Overwhelmed: A constant sense of being overwhelmed or unable to cope with your responsibilities is a clear sign of imbalance. CHALLENGE: Achieving harmony between life, work, and personal growth is your key to unlocking a life of joy and fulfillment. Embrace self-care, set clear priorities, and watch as you thrive both professionally and personally, creating a balanced and inspired life where anything is possible. I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: On this show…we are seeking mind and body harmony as we shift our perspective on exercise from vanity to vitality. We've got it all twisted when it comes to exercise because we've been bombarded with images of ripped bodies and weight loss miracles, making us think that's the ultimate goal. But here's the truth: exercise is about feeling good, living longer, and staying vibrant, not just looking good. If you're part of the norm then you've wasted an inconceivable amount of time pining over the ideal body image that is simply unachievable. Not even for the person in the touched-up picture. Why do we wait until our 40's, 50's, or 60's to start taking our health seriously? Probably because that's when we start feeling the effects of not taking it seriously before. Let's shift our focus to health and vitality, and watch how it transforms our lives from the inside out! I will raise my hand first and admit, that my thinking on health and wellness is freakishly flawed. I view myself as curious, an independent thinker, and decently smart so how can I be so off here? Until I dive in to uncover the real reason, I can only point to conditioning. Generational body image issues have deceived me into thinking that nothing tastes better than thin feels and unless you have ripped abs, you're not done yet. UGH Can you imagine the negative, body shaming loop we let play on repeat in our heads? How do we stop it? Achieve our unrealistic goals or cave to our desires. Nope, that's your black-and-white thinking taking over and giving you two impossible choices. TIME-OUT! Want to uncover a better way of thinking?  Me too! Stay with me as we walk through some unfamiliar but important concepts. At now.org I found some alarming statistics on body image Kelly Wallace from CNN shares the dangers of The ripple effects on girls when moms struggle with body image Megan Tripp introduces Harmonizing The Body and Mind - A Harvard grad developed a tension-relief exercise that works with both your mind and body. Found at bostonmagazine.com Creating mind and body harmony involves a holistic approach that integrates physical activity, mental well-being, nutrition, and mindfulness practices. Here are some steps to achieve this balance: Regular Physical Activity Exercise for Health: Focus on exercises that promote overall well-being rather than just aesthetics. Incorporate a mix of cardiovascular, strength, flexibility, and balance exercises. Consistency: Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous activity each week, along with muscle-strengthening activities on two or more days a week. Mindfulness and Mental Health Meditation and Yoga: Practices like meditation, yoga, and tai chi can help reduce stress, improve concentration, and enhance mental clarity. Mental Breaks: Incorporate short breaks throughout the day to rest and recharge your mind. Nutrition and Hydration Balanced Diet: Eat a variety of foods rich in essential nutrients, including fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Hydration: Drink plenty of water throughout the day to maintain optimal body functions. Sleep and Recovery Quality Sleep: Ensure you get 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night. Good sleep is essential for both physical recovery and mental health. Rest Days: Allow your body time to recover between intense workout sessions. Mental and Emotional Well-Being Positive Relationships: Cultivate strong, supportive relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. Therapeutic Practices: Seek professional help when needed. Therapy and counseling can provide tools to manage stress and emotional challenges. Goal Setting and Personal Growth Set Realistic Goals: Establish attainable health and fitness goals that focus on personal growth rather than comparison with others. Continuous Learning: Engage in activities that stimulate your mind, such as reading, learning new skills, or taking up a hobby. Positive Mindset Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion and avoid negative self-talk. Recognize and celebrate your progress and achievements. Gratitude Practice: Incorporate gratitude practices into your daily routine to foster a positive outlook on life. Holistic Approach: Combine these practices into your daily routine in a way that feels natural and sustainable. Balance is key, and it's important to find what works best for you. By integrating these elements, you can create a harmonious connection between your mind and body, fostering long-term health and well-being. CHALLENGE: Achieving mind and body harmony is all about embracing activities that make you feel energized and healthy, rather than just focusing on looks. Start today by setting goals that prioritize your overall well-being and celebrate every step you take towards a healthier, happier you!   I Know YOU Can Do It!