Podcast appearances and mentions of jennifer freyd

DARVO—”Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender”—is a powerful manipulation tactic often used to silence those who speak up about harm. In this episode, Dan and Rachael unpack how DARVO shows up not only in personal relationships but also in churches, politics, and other systems where power is protected at all costs. Together, they explore the deep psychological and spiritual impact of DARVO, particularly in narcissistic relationships or systems. Drawing from Dr. Jennifer Freyd's work on betrayal trauma, they name the disorientation, grief, and exile that often follow when someone dares to speak what is true. What happens when cruelty masquerades as righteousness? When loyalty is measured by silence? This conversation holds space for those heartbreaks—and offers fierce, grounded hope. In a culture that often gaslights those who cry out for justice, Dan and Rachael remind us: love, truth, and healing are not just possible—they are sacred acts of resistance. And it's not something we confront alone. With the presence of wise, compassionate others—therapists, pastors, friends, and communities of care—we can learn to trust what is true, reclaim our voice, and boldly participate in the redemptive work of love.  

In love addiction, we may find ourselves feeling betrayed by a partner-- even if we don't know for sure that something is going on--while doubting our instincts, believing we're too sensitive, and giving an emotionally unavailable partner the benefit of the doubt. This feeling adds to our anxiety, and whatever information a partner is withholding adds to the dysfunction of the relationship...and we stay in the cycle of love addiction hoping things will change. In this episode Jodi talks with betrayal trauma therapist, Lindsay Haverslew, about the reality of betrayal trauma. Jodi and Lindsay share personal experiences with betrayal, and discuss signs that a partner is emotionally unavailable, tips for identifying a trustworthy person, and much more.  Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Lindsay's website and instagram Lindsay mentioned the work of Jennifer Freyd and Dr. Kevin Skinner and the book Unleashing Your Power  Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

DARVO was coined by Dr. Jennifer Freyd in the 1990s and stands for “Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.” DARVO is a common defense strategy by perpetrators, narcissists, and offenders of both criminal and noncriminal harm when they wish to deflect accountability for their actions.Despite how common DARVO is both individually in relationships as well as on a larger scale (e.g., corporate and government level), it isn't talked about very often. DARVO is highly effective at silencing victims. But I'm hopeful that by sharing knowledge of how DARVO operates, we can empower ourselves and our society to combat it.In this episode, we discuss the dynamics of DARVO, as well as the ways it can suppress whistleblowers and negatively impact their wellbeing.I know it's a weighty topic for this episode, but it feels highly useful for all of us to have this knowledge handy, whether to advocate for ourselves or to better support our clients in identifying DARVO and successfully holding others accountable.You can find the shorter, less in-depth version of this episode here:https://youtu.be/zhAZfcin3YYNational Domestic Violence Hotline:https://www.thehotline.org/Crisis Text Line:https://www.crisistextline.org/"How to Handle the DARVO Method"https://sentientcounselling.co.uk/2023/03/21/how-to-handle-the-darvo-method/Thank you to Paubox for sponsoring this episode. Paubox makes HIPAA-secure email easy and streamlined. Check them out here:https://bit.ly/pps_paubox_spotify*Get $250 off your first year with Paubox with coupon code "SKILLS"*Bonus Deal:* If you add the Paubox badge to your website you get an extra $100 off your first year - that means you can get your whole first year free if you apply both deals! FREE Guide: Start a Private Practice in Counseling:https://tinyurl.com/y9ek9en8"Processing Personal Challenges While Still Being a Therapist"https://youtu.be/KoLn9XeUZ9YChoosing Therapy Article: "DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender”https://www.choosingtherapy.com/darvo/Dr. Jennifer Freyd: “What is DARVO?”https://www.jjfreyd.com/darvoCNN Article: "What others knew: Culture of denial protected Nassar for years”https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/23/us/nassar-sexual-abuse-who-knew/index.htmlOffice of the Whistleblower Website:https://whistleblower.house.gov/“Whistleblowing and Mental Health” Government Document:https://whistleblower.house.gov/sites/evo-subsites/whistleblower.house.gov/files/evo-media-document/Whistleblowing_and_Mental_Health.pdfResources for Whistleblowers:https://whistleblower.house.gov/resources/resources-whistleblowers"The Whistleblower's Dilemma: Do the Risks Outweigh the Benefits?”https://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/whistleblowers-in-business/Whistleblower Protections (in the U.S.)https://www.dol.gov/general/topics/whistleblowerArticle: "What Makes Whistleblowers So Threatening?”https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4676977/LINKS*Some links are affiliate links. A percentage of purchases come back to me and help my channel immensely!

Send me a DM here (it doesn't let me respond), OR email me: imagineabetterworld2020@gmail.comToday I'm honored to introduce you all to: Loving mother, grandmother, foster parent, and devoted wife, ritualistic child abuse, sex trafficking, religious abuse, and incest survivor, published writer and author of the book “My Life Now: Essays by a Child Sex Trafficking Survivor”, podcast host and content creator on YouTube, psychotherapist, social worker, keynote speaker, writer and director of three feature-length films and numerous short films, and an absolute inspiration: Mary KnightI came across Mary's story and content about 2 years ago when I stumbled across a YouTube channel called ‘Real Women, Real Stories'. Premiering on that channel at the time I discovered it was a documentary featuring Mary where she took us on a journey of discovering if her memories were real by examining the False Memory Syndrome Foundation and its implications on the survivor movement and community through it's ‘false memory' doctrine. Also on this YouTube channel were some Q&A's where Mary spoke about and answered questions from the audience regarding her harrowing testimony as a child who was pimped out by her abusive, racist, pedophilic, and incestuous parents to church and community pedophiles or - as Mary puts it in her gut-wrenching and inspiring book she authored, “My Life Now”: she was “Rented by the Hour”Mary's work uncovering the myths and realities behind the False Memory Syndrome Foundation has been ground-breaking. Quoted from Wikipedia: “The False Memory Syndrome Foundation was created by Pamela and Peter Freyd, after their adult daughter Jennifer Freyd accused her father of sexual abuse when she was a child. The FMSF described its purpose as the examination of the concept of false memory syndrome and recovered memory therapy and advocacy on behalf of individuals believed to be falsely accused of child sexual abuse.” In Mary's documentary, she actually was able to get in-person interviews with FMSF founders as well as Elizabeth Loftus - who was involved with the FMSF and is an American psychologist who is best known in relation to the misinformation effect, false memory and criticism of recovered memory therapies. Loftus has testified on behalf of pedophiles and predators such as Ghislane Maxwell and Bill Cosby. In today's episode, Mary will be doing a deep dive with us into the FMSF, its history, founders and board members, her work uncovering the truth about memory, and the impact the ‘false memory' lies have had on survivors, therapists, and the progress being made to expose organized abuse to the masses. I ask you all to please put away whatever you're doing and give Mary your full attention as we go down the false memory rabbit hole and learn from an amazing woman who has bravely stepped up to use her voice for the voiceless and to be a light in the darkness. CLICK HERE FOR 15% OFF YOUR RIFE ORDER:Rife Technology – Real Rife TechnologyCODE: 420CLICK HERE FOR FREE SHIPPING ON CZTL'S METHYLENE BLUE:Buy ultra high purity Methylene Blue – CZTLCONNECT WITH MARY: YouTube: Mary Knight - YouTubeWebsite: Home (maryknightproductions.com)Purchase her book on Amazon: Amazon.com: My Life Now: Essays by a Child Sex Trafficking Survivor eBook : Knight, Mary: BooksSupport the show

Allyn dives deeper into the fallout of her shattered relationship—uncovering lies, betrayal, cheating, and emotional abuse. As grief, anxiety, and depression take hold, she confronts the harsh realities of trauma and its lasting effects. In this episode, she's also joined by another woman who faced her ex's deception. Together, they explore the damaging cycles of toxic relationships and share how they found strength and community amidst the destruction. Support the Show: Leave us a review: Your positive reviews help us grow! Rate this podcast here.Don't see your preferred listening platform? No worries! You can go directly to the platform and leave a review there. Subscribe to the show for new episodes every Tuesday. Join our email community: Stay connected and never miss an update. Sign up here. Follow along on Instagram: @allyn.amerongen Mentioned in This Episode: Jordan B Petersen's website here More on Jennifer Freyd and Betrayal Trauma here Resources on Intimate Partner Violence and Partner/Family Member Assault National Library of Medicine Safe Harbor Dr. Ramani's work: It's Not You: Identifying and Healing From Narcissistic People Rachel Louise Snyder's work:  No Visible Bruises: What We Don't Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us

Send us a textDangerous relationships rarely begin physically abusive. Initially, you think you've met a fantastic partner, but slowly, the toxicity turns into something more insidious and lethal.Trigger warning: this week, Lisa Sonni and I share vulnerable details of how we missed the early signs of danger in our narcissistic relationships.IF YOU ARE A RISK of immediate danger or abuse, please get in touch with the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.References: Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft https://amzn.to/4e505fw Blind to Betrayal by Jennifer Freyd  https://amzn.to/4d3xwxWRo's TikTok warning video:   https://www.tiktok.com/@_rollercoasteroflove/video/7397857556867271942?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7413141517819479583Am I the a-hole for divorcing my husband TikTok video: https://www.tiktok.com/@comfortlevelpodcast/video/7404870008377150766?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7413141517819479583Is there an escalating pattern of abuse in your relationship? Learn the practical strategies to protect yourself in this week's podcast extra interview.  Become a subscriber today for immediate access to this helpful interview:  https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ Follow Dr. McAvoy!YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphdInstagram: @kerrymcavoyphdFacebook: @kerrymcavoyphdE-mail: hello@kerrymcavoyphd.comNewsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.Support the show

Prof. Jennifer Freyd ist auf die Arbeit mit traumatisierten und Überlebenden von häuslicher und sexueller Gewalt spezialisiert. Dabei fällt ihr auf: Die Täter*innen scheinen immer dem gleichen Skript zu folgen. Anstatt Verantwortung zu übernehmen, gehen sie drei Schritte, um Verwirrung zu stiften, die Glaubwürdigkeit der Opfer zu untergraben und sich letztlich selbst als Opfer darzustellen: Sie leugnen, sie attackieren und bedrohen das Opfer und betreiben Täter- Opfer- Umkehr. Hieraus entstand hieraus das Akronym DARVO (denial, attack, reverse victim / offender) . In der heutigen Episode erfähst du, wie du diese manipulative Gesprächsstrategie entlarvst, und wie du dich schützen kannst. Mehr über Prof Freyd und DARVO erfährst du hier: https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html Die Studie mit den britischen Polizeibeamten: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09589236.2016.1194260 Darren Magee über DARVO und "flying monkeys": https://youtu.be/WF-ZevEXVu8?si=nH13vNt_1xbK2iIJ Du möchtest mehr über unsere Werbepartner erfahren? Hier findest du alle Infos & Rabatte: https://linktr.ee/psychologietogo

In this episode, Jackie talks about the work of Dr. Jennifer Freyd on betrayal trauma and its relationship to betrayal blindness. 

Send us a Text Message.Have you heard of trauma dumping? It's become a new way to attack victims for talking about their narcissistic abuse experiences. Rossana Faye joins me as this week's special guest to explore the importance of sharing your trauma and the role it plays in helping you heal from abuse. And you don't want to miss this week's Podcast Extra where Ro and I discuss the differences between trauma reprocessing and trauma dumping. For this exclusive interview, subscribe here: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuseReference: Betrayal Blindness by Jennifer Freyd: https://amzn.to/3VIEvFUDid you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! Follow Dr. McAvoy!YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphdInstagram: @kerrymcavoyphdFacebook: @kerrymcavoyphdE-mail: hello@kerrymcavoyphd.comNewsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.Join me at the Strong & Unstoppable Retreat in gorgeous Orlando, FL, from October 3-6, 2024. Limited spots available! Reclaim your strength and confidence—register now!How to fall in LoveDisclaimer: not for people that go under the knife. Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifySupport the Show.

Sometimes, the truth can be right in front of you, but you still can't see it. Rossana Faye joins me this week to discuss a concept Dr. Jennifer Freyd, in her book Blind to Betrayal, calls “betrayal blindness.” Some truths can be so devastating that they are difficult to face. And, the self-help tip is the importance of listening to what feels off, uncomfortable, or wrong to recognize signs you may be missing critical details in your relationship or family.Blind to Betrayal: Why We Fool Ourselves When We Aren't Being Fooled by Jennifer Freyd, Ph.D.: https://amzn.to/3TRNPpONow, you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix. For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras! Join me on Ko-fi!Follow Dr. McAvoy!YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphdInstagram: @kerrymcavoyphdFacebook: @kerrymcavoyphdE-mail: hello@kerrymcavoyphd.comNewsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ or https://ko-fi.com/kerrymcavoyphdWebsite: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.Uncover the unconscious psychological blocks holding your recovery back and reclaim your confidence at the Strong & Unstoppable Retreat this October. I've saved you a spot! Insights Into TeensA father and daughter discussion about the everyday struggles of teens in today's...Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifySupport the Show.

DARVO was first identified by Dr. Jennifer Freyd, a psychology professor at the University of Oregon, in the late 1990s. Dr. Freyd's work primarily focused on betrayal trauma, and it was in this context that she observed a recurring pattern among perpetrators of abuse and misconduct. This pattern, she noted, was not just a defensive tactic but a sophisticated form of psychological manipulation.

 Charles Spencer's new book about his boarding school experiences has now been released. You can find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-A-Very-Private-School/dp/B0CKWD9Z6M/ref=sr_1_1?crid=320MHELEHEKLN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.81PdazFBg3A7AleHD-lYQrr8QZXqwIxFOeUQIONnMvaAHp1OOHjwnFPEdjHXdQsGwITpT_DRzoK2CZeOTQBf6pju9k8AlNsIdXDgeRRo2A2zAGIM2OTF9_Yos8wdiXjjj3tSuHppUsQHf2crCpWYHg.w7cW417aM6Ih1AMJTOvr17CVXDJUf89cXELsYnBtbPw&dib_tag=se&keywords=charles+spencer+a+very+private+school&qid=1710330302&sprefix=charles+sp%2Caps%2C262&sr=8-1 On Monday of this week I came across this article from the Telegraph about a fellow pupil and how "it did him the world of good": https://www.telegraph.co.uk/columnists/2024/02/17/boarding-school-princess-diana-earl-spencer-maidwell-hall/ I also received an email from the wife of an ex-boarder last week. In it she talks about how her husband claims to have "loved boarding school". But has real difficulties with emotions and relationsSo today I wanted to speak to those who loved boarding. I see there are 3 camps. 1. The truth, they loved it and it was good for them. 2. Denial, those that have suppressed or dissociated from what happened 3. Betrayal trauma and the work of Jennifer Freyd. Many of us were betrayed at boarding school and it creates amnesia according to Dr Freyd's work. Warm regards, Piers --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

What is DARVO? by Jennifer Freyd, PHDDeny any wrong doingAttack back by going on the offense, attacking credibility, intention, character, calling you a liarReverse the victim, you into theOffender, making them the victimized person every time.This is a manipulative technique to gain power and control over all situations.As always use discretion when listening to this podcast. I speak about trauma related topics and may be triggering for some.Mentioned: Dr. RamaniThe Querida Mari podcast is made with the Latina Mujer in mind. It is a place for your inner child to learn/unlearn life lessons that are no longer serving your adult Self. Come as you are, take space, make yourself a cafecito and let's get started!Follow me and let's be friends:YouTube Maria Rivera Heath, LMFTInstagram @mariariveraheathwww.mriveraheath.com/coaching-servicesFor a coaching session email me at: maria@mriveraheath.com and together we'll come up with a time that works for both of us.Get on the waitlist for Meditation Circles, Shadow work circles, and or Narcissistic Abuse Survivors Support Groups here: https://www.mriveraheath.com/cultivating-youDISCLAIMER:This podcast, episode is for general educational informational purposes only. It is not be used to self-diagnose and it is not a substitute for a medical exam, cure, treatment, diagnosis, clinical care and prescription or recommendation. It does not create a therapist-patient relationship between Maria Rivera Heath and you. You should not make any change in your health regimen before first consulting a physician and obtaining a medical exam, diagnosis, and recommendation. Always seek the advice of a physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Maria Rivera Heath LMFT LLC is not liable or responsible for any advice, course of treatment, diagnosis or any other information, services or product you obtain through this episode and podcast.LESS

Guest Bios Show Transcript https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNHswz5yZ-M Clergy sexual abuse is one of the most devastating forms of abuse, impacting almost every area of life. After surviving abuse like that, how do you recover? And after being preyed upon by a powerful church figure, how do you recover your agency, your voice, your life? This edition of The Roys Report features an unforgettable session from the recent Restore Conference, and one of the most raw and vulnerable talks you'll ever hear. It comes from Lori Anne Thompson, a victim of clergy sexual abuse by one of the most powerful men in evangelicalism for nearly 40 years—Ravi Zacharias.  But even before Ravi, she experienced the pain of abuse by her father. And then, after becoming a believer, the pastor who had become a father figure to her used his position to extort money from Lori Anne and her husband. Statistically, Lori Anne should be a shell of herself. But anyone who knows Lori Anne knows her as uncommonly kind, extraordinarily bright, perceptive, healthy—and truly, one of those people whose presence in your life just makes your life better. She has walked a road no one should ever have to walk. And yet, through that process, she's learned the keys to not just surviving abuse and trauma, but how to thrive after abuse and trauma. The voice of abuse survivors is too often missing—and silenced—in American evangelical churches and ministries. Lori Anne has a vital perspective as a survivor and healer, and she's distilled decades of experiences and wisdom into this riveting 52-minute talk. Guests Lori Anne Thompson Lori Anne Thompson. RKin, MA, is a survivor of clergy sexual abuse who now seeks to serve the survivor community through selective speaking, extensive writing, and in her role as an intake specialist at a survivor-centric law firm. She graduated from Queens University, Canada, earning a Bachelor of Science Kinesiology and a Master of Child Advocacy & Policy from Montclair State University.  Learn more at loriannethompson.com Show Transcript SPEAKERS Julie Roys, LORI ANNE THOMPSON JULIE ROYS 00:02 Hi, I'm Julie Roys, founder of The Roys Report and the RESTORE conference, and you're about to see a video from Restore 2023. Alot of conferences charge for videos like these, we've decided to make them available for free. We've done that because we don't want anybody to miss out on this valuable content for lack of finances. But of course these do cost us money to shoot and to edit. So if you're able we'd really appreciate it if you consider donating to The Roys Report so we can continue this important service. To do so just go to JULIEROYS.COM/DONATE. Also, I hope you'll make plans to join us at the next RESTORE conference, which we'll be announcing soon. As great as these videos are they pale in comparison to being there in person. As one speaker commented this year, RESTORE is more of a restorative community than it is a conference. And every year that community just grows deeper and richer. And so I hope you'll be able to join us at the next RESTORE. Be watching for that. And in the meantime, I hope you're blessed and encouraged by this video. LORI ANNE THOMPSON 01:11 The survivor community is a community that I was born into. It's also a community I never ever wanted to be part of. 100% of those of us who have survived any kind of abuse did so in a social structure, where the despot has ruled the day. Where the power dynamic was as tangible as what it was invisible. Where dominance and subordination or submission have been the typography of our tyranny. The Oxford Dictionary in the Oxford Dictionary, tyranny is defined as cruel, unreasonable, or arbitrary use of power or control. The work of Dr. Judith Herman has informed so much of my understanding. and she writes this, and I quote, “The rules of tyranny are simple. The strong do what they will simply because they can. The weak and vulnerable submit, the rule of the strong is enforced by violence or the threat of violence. Violence does not have to be used very often; it merely needs to be effective when it is used.” 02:22 In faith communities, we not only have the threat of violence by our earthly offenders, who seem all powerful and deeply omnipotent, but we also have the ever-present threat of the Almighty himself. The rules of tyranny are as systemic as what they are systematic. They are as pervasive as what they are predictable. In contrast, the survivor community is meant to be based upon principles of mutuality and reciprocity, a safe shelter for people who have been pillaged, where they should have been protected. And a place where people should be fed when they have been eaten. Juxtaposed to those who offended against us, overwhelmingly, we are a group of courageous overcomers. We are not a group of losers. But we are a group who have suffered catastrophic losses. I regularly have the privilege of interviewing survivors who are seeking civil justice. And the single hardest question that these people have to answer in that interview is this: what, what are the damages to your financial, personal, physical, psychological, professional, sexual and spiritual life? It is easier to make a list of what's not been damaged, about what remains, because across domains, life is radically altered when you've been touched in any way by abuse. 04:09 Some of us may have encountered abuse for the first time as adults, but a much higher percentage of us have encountered abuse as children. Those are called Adverse Childhood Experiences, and they result in a sequela a staggering sequela of negative outcomes that compound and complicate life in adolescence and adulthood. In the 1990's, Dr. Vincent Felitti, and his team at Kaiser Permanente did the original or foundational a study, and they elucidated–they surveyed I think it was 17,000 people–and they elucidated 10 factors that if any one of them happen in childhood, that can cause a deformation of the person and personhood and personality of individuals. And they include sexual, physical and emotional abuse, physical and emotional neglect, parental separation, parental incarceration, parental substance abuse, domestic violence and/or mental illness. Later on in the Philadelphia study, not surprisingly, the concept of childhood adversity was expanded to include community violence, racism, foster care and bullying. The earlier and more protracted all this, (I'm gonna bleep myself) happens, these adverse experiences happen, the longer and later the outcome, the adverse outcome stay. And a score of four or more puts survivors at risk of a 12-fold risk of suicide. So, check, check, check, check, check, depression, substance abuse and a laundry list of extensive poor health outcomes that last well into adulthood and often lead to early death. It's an abysmal picture. For those of us who have encountered abuse across a lifespan, a significant percentage of us have never told a soul. Rather, we have suffered and suffocated in silence. Sometimes, sometimes people don't even tell themselves. 06:26 This is a very leaky business. Research done by Baylor University, I met Dr. Pooler yesterday, it was a privilege, informs us that those of us who have survived clergy perpetrated sexual abuse as adults, they know some facts about folks like us. The average age of onset is 30. So much for being vulnerable, not being vulnerable past the age of 18. With an average duration, and this is staggering to me, of four years of abuse. Like that's staggering. A whopping 65% of us had unprocessed trauma, and a further 62% of us, were being counseled by the very person, the clergy member who abused us. Only 9% of us report that the church supported us after we disclosed. And 80% of us report that abuse negatively impacted our relationship with God. More recent research that's not been published yet reports that 40% of clergy adult sexual abuse survivors have post-traumatic stress disorder. Man, I tell you, I wonder why, wonder why we have PTSD? Anybody? It might just be that those of us who have decided to disclose and sought any form of public justice have each had our own public crucifixion. Silence looks like a very attractive alternative in the face of that. We have watched strangers and friends alike gamble in person or online, as our private hell is hung in public humiliation, as we are mocked, and lied about when we were the ones who were lied to. Most of us can recall the hollow thud of our frames when our limp bodies collapse in exhaustion and when we dragged ourselves away from the side of the evangelical religious road and waited to die. We can taste the trauma, the disorientation and the bewilderment of telling the truth only to labelled a liar. The cruelty of incomprehension as we asked for bread not only to be given a stone, but to have stones thrown at us, to be told to sit down in silence while our offenders rise to speak for standing ovations. 09:21 It is grievous. It is right to grieve, it is also right in this moment to breathe. Can you join me? Can we do it again? One more. 09:46 That was then, and this is now. And I'm about to enter into what is the beginning of my end and so if that hurt, I would ask you to find a space to ground yourself because this may hurt more. It hurt for me to write it may hurt for you to read. I have written a brief narrative, one that is as gentle as I could make it. One that leaves out as many details as possible, yet still provides a cogent narrative for you to understand that when I met Ravi Zacharias I was already destroyed. 10:38 I was sired by a sexual predator. I am the child of a child molester. I was my mother's last child and I thought I was my father's last child too until several years ago, I found out that he sired his last child just before he died. That child was born to a child. She took her first breath five months after his last. I was two when my mother and my oldest sister fled the home. Myself and my two remaining siblings were left behind with him. Consequently, my home life was transient and tumultuous. Poverty pervaded my life across domains. My siblings and I regularly endured rage fueled physical assaults by my father, on more than one occasion, that led to unconsciousness. My father had a partner in his crimes, my stepmother, who also perpetrated verbal, emotional, physical, sexual abuse, at times that came close to torture. Polyvictimization in my home hung as heavy as the daily dose of secondhand smoke. Shame, spurning, starvation, medical and physical neglect were commonplace. These abuses are too overwhelming to number or even to name, but they included control of consumption of food and drink, control of urination and defecation, a regimen that did not resemble human hygiene, sexually abusive bathing practices, denuding and dehumanizing and defeminizing that include mandatory dressing in full coverage masculine clothes, which was always excessively hot in summer and wholly inadequate in winter. It seems to me that all oppressive regimes seem to engage in the practice of the shearing off of hair of their victims. Month after merciless month I sat in the kitchen where she and I silently sobbed where my any traces of tresses would fall to the floor. I was formed and fashioned entirely by the will of others, and I rarely, if ever expressed a will of my own. My older remaining sister disclosed my father's savage sexual abuse of her and fled the home when I was 10 years old. She was 13. Once again, I and my remaining sibling were left behind. My father confessed to his crimes, attempted suicide twice, went to jail for nine months and returned home rehabilitated. It is difficult to breathe when your father's shame hangs around you like secondhand smoke. I was in a toxic family and with no choice but to inhale or die. I did both with each breath. 13:47 Upon his release from incarceration, he turned his abusive intentions towards me — sexually abusive intentions. I could not fathom how an adult would want to have sex acts with a child. I still cannot. After a particularly salient incident, I asked him why he had sex with children. I like many others thought that if a man had a wife, he would not sexually offend. I can still see this moment, the traumatic tableaux as he leaned against the table, the kitchen table. He was a massive, he was an immense man, and I can feel what I felt as I stood by the door ready to run to literally nowhere and no one, knowing full well, the futility of fleeing, but ready to flee anyway. And in a rare moment of clarity, and maybe the only honest thing he ever said, he told me that his predation was not about sex, it was about power. I was twelve. 15:06 Judith Herman says, “Repeated trauma in childhood forms and deforms the personality which how trapped in an abusive environment is faced with the formidable task of adaptation. She must find a way to preserve a sense of trust in people who are untrustworthy, safety in a situation that is unsafe, control in a situation that is terrifyingly unpredictable, and power in a situation of helplessness. Unable to care for or protect herself, she must compensate for the failures of adult care and protection with the only means at her disposal – an immature system of psychological defenses.” 15:48 More Kleenex. Thank you for being patient with me. It would be harder if I didn't feel this, or easier, sorry, if I didn't feel it so much. I understood that if I were to survive, I would have to protect myself from the one man who was supposed to protect me. I tried really hard for three more years and he tried harder. But the time I left home at 15, I had a perfect ACE score of 10. It was a perfect score. And my perfectionism began early. I left with life in a cardboard box. And I never looked back. 16:28 He was arrested for child molestation for the second time, and he learned from his first go round that the nearly universal act of predatory denial. This time he was acquitted because it was my word against his. And there were no traces of his trauma on my person. Many children many abuse children, says Judith Herman cling to the hope that growing up will bring escape and freedom without question, but that they will grow up with major impairments in cognition, self-care, in a memory, and identity and the capacity to form stable relationships. I had them all. My father was released from prison, but I was not. As an adult, I was repeatedly revictimized by men in places of power and fiduciary duty, men that I both dearly loved, and deeply trusted. I married when I was 18. Because he asked and I couldn't say no. And I had my first child at 21. Her very existence some of you may relate to this, awakened in me an anguish about my own childhood that can only be described as infinite and touching absolutely every area of my life. It was an earthquake, the birth of something beautiful, someone beautiful showed me that I was vulnerable too. The desire to protect her, nurture her, care for her and rip limb to limb anybody who would bring her harm, evoked rage for my own inner person. I was entirely unequipped to handle that the doors to the past that the present had opened. I knew I needed help. But I had very little in the way of resources. 18:34 That's when I turned to the evangelical church, who offered me cost free help. I had no idea how costly that help would be. Rightly, they proclaim good news to the poor, comfort to the brokenhearted, release for the captives, and liberty for those who had been imprisoned. I was poor, and I sure was brokenhearted, I knew everything there was to know about captivity. And they said that all who hunger and thirst for righteousness would be filled. And I was starving. 19:24 In the early days of belonging to the so-called Christian community, my own father died and it's that time that a door to a deeper darker world was open to me and I was adopted as a spiritual daughter of the lead pastor, who, and I had regular therapy sessions with him, I was diagnosed by him, and he was the treatment. I came to believe that the sum total of the Christian life in those early years was crying. I thought that, I was told and in some ways it's true, that tears will tarry, but joy would come in the morning, and it looked to me like night would never end. It was in the same community that I later met and married my current husband of 18 years. It was also there that the same pastor committed egregious spiritual abuse and financial malfeasance against us and other members of the congregation. And you know this but attempting to hold a much beloved, high powered pastor to account is an invite in catastrophic sequala of betrayal trauma as experienced by us, but as theorized by Dr. Jennifer Freyd, that includes a series of events that is defined by DARVO: denial that anything happened, attacking the victim in reversing the victim and offender dynamics such that the real victim is thought to be the offender agent of Satan, and the real offender is being victimized. Some of us have been DARVOed to death. 21:13 All of this happens, astonishingly, institutional cowardice is committed in the name of Christ. Perhaps truer words were never spoken by Dr. Judith Herman when she said, “In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. If secrecy fails, the purpose or perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim, and if he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure that no one listens.” No one listened. Very straightforward. Highly successful campaign. We were shunned and shut out of our Christian community. Before we had at least the hope in Christ. Now all we had was the harm of those who called upon his name, and not too much remained. It was in this context that I met Ravi Zacharias. 22:15 When I came forward when this story went public in 2016-2017, life as I knew it, anything that was beautiful, collapsed in what can only be described as a protracted private and public catastrophe. Virtually no one believed me. I could hardly believe myself. I was globally vilified. I lost my home, my occupation, and nearly my life itself. Years of days were filled with night. My only confidants were my therapist, and my lawyer, and in times of really intense moments, they still are. Justice was a joke, and so was hope. The steady drum of those two people's sanity helped me to save mine. I had no faith or hope left so I had to borrow theirs. In time, their belief and trust in me helped me to find a measure of belief and trust in myself. But there would be many years of nights before dawn would ever come. I and my husband took one step forward only to take at least 10 steps back. It took forever to not lose ground. It took even longer to gain any. C.S. Lewis said of wrong some can be made right, but only by going back till you find the error and working it afresh from that point never by simply going on. Evil can be undone, but it cannot develop into good. Time does not heal it the spell must be unwound bit by bit with backward mutters of dissevering power or else not. It's in recovery that we go back to the source of the error. And we work it a fresh from there. 24:18 Lainna said yesterday that we have to look back to move forward. Lena, I want a statue of that duck wherever you can find one of those. She was completely right. 24:34 For the time that we have remaining, I want to talk to you about the stages of recovery. The architecture of empowerment, and the route to resilience, even as each one of us has our own path and we'll take divergent paths forward. Are y'all ready for that? Okay. I want to say this as a caveat and no I didn't add this after I heard Lena speak. Although I was born into an abusive and nonnutritive environment. The simple fact that I'm a white, heterosexual female endowed with a backpack of privileges, that my fellow survivors who are part of marginalized groups, and races and cultures simply do not have. I was clever as a child compulsively compliant, and I had a quiet disposition. Some of those things have changed. 25:26 Even then, I had an interest in human wellbeing that was higher than my low estate. I had a lot of words, which I was not permitted to use, nor was I even permitted to think them. I was able to attend school, and eventually church. And those two things were a reprieve for me. I was watchful, which helped me anticipate some of the storms and take shelter, but whenever possible, these were compensatory mechanisms for me, you will have your own. 25:58 Another breath. On your mark, get set, here we go. 123, inhale, hold it there, exhale. Let's do it again, shall we? I need this as much as you do. On your mark, get set, go, inhale 123. And exhale. Feel your butt in your seat. Feel your feet on the floor, put your hands in your lap and your head on your shoulders. You have a body and it's good. 26:33 Okay, recovery is defined as the return to a normal state of health, or to regain the possession or control over something that was stolen or lost. That definition hits home. For many of you the road to recovery will be a pathway to recover what was. You remember a self before this, some of you. For me, recovery has been a pathway to collect what wasn't. I'm not saying it's better or worse. I'm just saying it's different. I have a big bee in my bonnet about empowerment. And this might sound ranty, so hold on. Dr. Judith Herman again says, “The first principle of recovery is empowerment of the survivor.” I'm going to say it again. The first principle of recovery is empowerment of the survivor. “She or he must be the author and arbiter of her own recovery. Others may offer advice, support, assistance, affection, and care, but not very, very importantly, not the cure.” Others are not the cure. “Many benevolent and well intentioned attempts to assist the survivor flounder because this basic principle of empowerment is not observed. No intervention, (I say it again), no intervention that takes power away from a survivor can possibly foster recovery, no matter how much it appears to be in his or her immediate best interest.” Empower, to be empowered is to have capacity and control. To have autonomy, which means I am me, I'm not you, and have agency which means that things I do matter in my life, I can affect change. It's not sufficient for you to do for me. It's wholly insufficient. We do for toddlers. Even in toddlerhood, that's how children learn. It also means to engage in critical thinking rather than being told what to think. That means we have to flex our thinking muscles. And I don't know your story, but I know mine. And I was not permitted to think, but I also didn't even know how to think. And so even when I became a Christian, I was really happy for other people to think for me because they must be right. That has to stop if we're going to be a people who are empowered. We need to seek information and not be given a steady stream of advice. When I'm in a hurry, I will drop a piece of advice. And when people are also in a hurry, I'll do that. But in general, I will only provide resources and information. We can't have other people chew the meat for us. We have to learn to chew ourselves. I'm deeply concerned and don't mind publicly saying it that I'm very concerned about the dynamic that I see developing in the survivor advocacy community. I fear that we are absolutely without question recreating the celebrity culture from whence we came. 30:03 People speak of their, this drives me crazy. Oh, you can tell I'm feeling empowered. People speak of their helpers as if their helper is responsible for their healing. That is bullshit. You are responsible for your healing. You are not responsible for your hurt, which also many people aren't going to tell you you're responsible for your hurt. You are not responsible for your hurt, but you are responsible for your healing. No one person is the cure. And anyone who says they are, big circle around that person, big circle. There is no question that we need advocates in public spaces. But critically, we need to learn to advocate for ourselves. We need wise helpers. I'm all for wise helpers. And they're essential to recovery. The wisest helpers are those who can and will do with you and me, but not for. Wise helpers should not give you the answers. They might ask you questions. They should help you find the answers for yourself. 31:33 Empowerment is so central to recovery, that if that fails, recovery will not ensue. Empowerment is not a one and done. It is a process. However, there are stages to recovery. Carson alluded to that. He didn't know how well he was cueing me up. He really demonstrated his recovery journey for you. Thank you, Carson for embodying that, for us. 32:06 The first stage of recovery is establishment of safety and stability in the present. And I really think that many people continue to flounder because they try to go into the next phases of recovery before they are safe and stable. So you consider trauma… think of it like a train wreck, you're in a train wreck, nobody's going to get you to get up and walk when you have an open wound. That makes sense, your guts will fall out. So, for many of us, we're trying to get up and walk, some of us are trying to get up and run with our entrails hanging behind us. And we wonder why we're not well. Like that has to stop. And it took me at least a year and a half to stop hemorrhaging. Like I mean hemorrhaging. It took another year and a half just to be safe and stable. That's a long time, three years, just to get safe and stable. 33:06 And grieving and remembering is the second stage of recovery. Before we go to the second stage of recovery, let's just talk a little bit more I've got some notes and I want to make sure we talk about them. Part of safety and stability is are you safe from harm from yourself? Fair, fair point? Are you safe from harm from others? Can it the restoration of biological functions is paramount. They are the litmus test of whether or not you are in a place, a safe and stable place. Can you eat enough but not too much? Can you sleep enough but not too much? Can you move? Can you work, pay your bills, all those things? Abuse annihilates our attachment systems. I didn't have working attachment systems, but any sort of abuse, whether it's attachment system to key relationships, like Carson was talking about or workplace or identity, it annihilates our basic trust in others and also ourselves. Right? It rips apart our identity it destroys our autonomy. It really obliterates intimacy, and then it crushes initiative. Just can't do anything, you can hardly function. Trauma shatters our sense of safety in the world, and in our very selves. These things are not only fracturing, they are also formative. It takes time to rebuild a secure base. Give yourself that time. 34:36 The good news is that this is all possible. The bad news is its gonna take a lot of work. But you are people who know work; your gritty, you know how to get things done. So, we might as well put in the work to become safe and stable. People who don't negotiate safety and stability well will repeatedly re stabilize, or destabilize. 35:06 I have two young kids who remain at home still we have four in total. I birthed three of those suckers and I got one for free. And they're great, they're amazing. My youngest daughter is 14. She's amazing. She just started high school in Canada. And that's a big deal, because you go from like grade school to high school and they're wearing school uniforms. And she made the high school basketball team. Yeah, proud mom. I can't hit the broadside of a barn. But you know, she's my kids are athletic, which I'm really grateful for. And so, my husband likes to coach from the bench. Nobody else has that problem, I'm sure. And I don't know anything about basketball. But I'm really excited that she's having a good time and making connections and it's part of her identity and growth and development. And so, I'm all for that. What I have learned and watched that when the girls are a new team and young, and when they get the ball, they're like panicked, like, oh my gosh, we got the ball! And then they they all run in a mad, like a mad way to get to the other end of the court and then they don't know what to do. And my coach husband beside me, I'm quiet and he is usually quiet, but something happens in athletics to men. Oh, it's crazy. And he's saying, slow down. Like, can you just slow it, slow it down! They can't hear him because he's not the coach. And then he's telling me, like I even care. He's telling me look at that kid, like there's this kid on the team and she she's dribbling, right. I can't even mimic it because I can't do it. She's dribbling, she's got her head up. And she's looking, right she's looking for what she's supposed to do with the ball. But every other girl's like they've got their head down, they've got the ball, and they're not looking up at all. But he's right. It's good advice. So, if when you're new at recovery, and you are welcomed into survivor community, but it is baptism by fire. And so when you are thrown the ball and thrown into a new team, where you have no experience, and everything's confusing, and you have this ball that you feel you need to hold the offender accountable, you need to tell the church, you need to, you know, Christine said contact a lawyer or the authorities if there's a legal or criminal thing, and that's correct. But everything else, slow down! Take the time to feel what safety looks like. Take the time to see what it tastes like. So that you can monitor and measure those metrics. So keep your head so you should be able to dribble the ball of recovery in such a fashion that you can still look around and see where things are at. 38:20 And part of dribbling the ball and playing the game of recovery, and it's not a game but it's a good analogy, is grieving and remembering. And it's really, it's making meaning out of processing metabolizing and making meaning out of trauma. None of us incurred abuse alone. And none of us will be able to heal alone. The importance of social support can't be overstated. Small, safe, homegrown support groups are really, really, important. Thankfully, there's a lot more survivor led grassroot organizations that have been cropping up now than what there were then when things happened with me. 39:02 The therapeutic alliance which I'm pretty sure we're going to hear about next is of the utmost importance. And when I say therapeutic alliance, this is what I mean. And I make no apologies for making this statement because you deserve the best, the best of care. You need a licensed, competent board-certified mental health professional. I know it costs a great deal to get good therapy. I am telling you I would not be here without it. It costs more not to. Low to no cost things are journaling, meditation, prayer, really vigorous exercise. I am in the wellness industry, I'm a health care provider. And when this all happened, I was curled into a ball for several years. I know what it feels like to feel paralyzed and not be able to move. You think that you cannot move a muscle. But vigorous exercise, there is such strong evidence to say that moving your body will help you heal. It's basic, but adequate rest, good nutrition, you are really truly worth caring for. If your children were going through a crisis, you would make sure they had breakfast, lunch and dinner and they had naps. Podcasts, blogs, vlogs, library books, there are online and in person communities. I want to give some caution and caveats to online communities. Please consider your rules of engagement. Consider them for yourself, not just what the rules of engagement of the online community are. Consider how do you want to interface What do you want to get out of this? What do you want to bring to this. And remember that online, the online world is a made-up world, really. So there are many safe secular spaces in which to flourish, and eventually to heal and eventually flourish. Don't be afraid to seek those out. 41:09 Most of us were reluctant to face the agony of abuse. I remember talking to my trauma therapist, when I first met her, and I said I'm not sure if my story is bad enough to really warrant a trauma therapist. I can't believe I don't know. But that's what I thought then. It's your choice whether or not you're going to confront the horrors of your present or your past. Nobody can or should force you to do that. We do believe that if we open up that Pandora's box of pain that, you know, we'll never be able to shut it, and it will just overwhelm our lives. I want to tell you something. That's the very thing you should do, the thing you don't want to look at. And the box you don't want to open are the very things that slowly, safely, securely in gradiated fashion. Those are the things you need to look at. Those are the places you need to go. Traumatic memories are buried alive. And grief can be really, really, really complicated by an unlimited number of factors. But grieving does come to an end, believe it or not. “Crying is alright while it lasts,” says CS Lewis, “but sooner or later, you have to stop sooner or later. And then you got to decide what to do.” 42:46 Reintegration. Reintegration to me means neither being defined by your trauma or denying it. Establishing yourself once again as an independent “I.” Who was I before this happened? Who am I now? And who's like Carson said, “who do I want to be?” Getting to know yourself, including being aware that there are things about yourself that you don't yet know. Self-knowledge is a process. How is my role changed in my family and my faith community, with my employ, compared to what it was then. How can I contribute to community of my choice in a way that's based on my strengths? And how can I live a life, some of us for the first time, how can I live a life that includes me? 43:51 This brings us to the topic of agency. Agency is not only the feeling but the actual capacity to have control over your own life. In Christendom, we're like, well, God has a plan for you, so you shouldn't have one. Crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. And in his book, Trauma, Dr. Paul Conti suggests that agency is a verb, that's something that you do rather than a noun, which is the person, place, or thing. And there's a difference between being in a car, being the passenger in a car and being the driver of the car. And one of the questions that we should ask ourselves is, “how old is the person who's driving your emotional car?” At too many junctions in my life, someone who should not have had the keys, was steering my car into seas of sorrow repeatedly. I was compulsively compliant, which essentially meant that my no was broke. And when compliance is the only possibility, consent is utterly impossible. If you can't say no, then you can't say yes either. 45:05 Abuse and abusers try to define you. Just search on the internet, there's lots of definitions of me. They take away your choice. In the process of reintegration, you actually get to choose who you want to be. The most beautiful people I know without fail, are the ones who have dug through the rubble and made something beautiful. Some of these people may live and die in insufficiency, but they have found a way to make beauty from ashes. And that is who I want to be. I was astonished to realize that with much practice and patience, I developed an intact sense of self. That was a miracle. I didn't, you know, you fill in the blank yourself, that was a miracle. And I differentiated from others. If you wanted your eggs like that, that's how I have my eggs. If you like that restaurant, that's how I'd like that restaurant. If you wear those clothes, that's the clothes I would wear. I'm able to hold my own “No,” while carefully considering what yes would mean. Many survivors negotiate their trauma in the privacy of their own lives. My entire family, they don't even know what I'm doing here. It's fine. My sisters, my mother, my brother, we don't talk about these things. It's okay. That's how they're negotiating their trauma. But there's a subsection of trauma survivors that (a small percentage of us) want to feel compelled to altruistically engage in advocacy, in some way, shape, or form. This is an altruism born of suffering. And suffering can create a need to help, and it has in me, I think I'm a helper by nature. But this has to be congruent with your life narrative, and also consistent with your strengths. I continue to seek meaningful ways to serve the survivor community, that increases my strength but diminishes my sorrow. When seeking to serve others, I looked at all sorts of options when I finished grad school. Most of them, it was kind of fun, because too many stories to tell. But most of them would leave me hemorrhaging with trauma and like in trauma with the person who's in trauma. So the last thing survivors needed is for the person who's trying to help them to also be falling apart. So there's caveats, if you decide that you're going to develop a survivor mission that is in the public sphere, one, get to know yourself, get and keep good therapeutic help. It may help you it may help you to serve others, but it's not about you. Wherever you see individuals, or organizations who are recreating the dynamic you left, it's a red flag. Here's some other red flags so you're ready. Dominance. In any culture or any person where dominance, subordination, and submission is the name of the game. Where people tell you what to think, instead of how to think, where people give you advice versus information, where people will speak for you instead of empowering you to speak for yourself, doing with rather than doing for, whose actions appear to be wholly invested in building up their platform rather than people. Don't let anybody use you that way. Remember that we're supposed to be a people of mutuality and reciprocity. While these things feel familiar, they have no place in the survivor community that we're trying to cultivate. 48:48 We have to learn to cultivate healthy decision-making processes. Y'all need to stop being so dang nice. Offenders not only tell you what they think, they also tell you what you should think too. Learning to think for yourself is worth its weight in gold, and it is a skill that takes time and practice. This is important, you will know if you have successfully navigated the reintegration process if these four things are in place. Are you ready? You are able to tolerate the symptoms that are associated with PTSD within reasonable limits. That doesn't mean you won't have them. You have PTSD, but you're able to tolerate those symptoms and you have coping skills. And that includes number two, being able to manage the feelings of trauma. You saw that I went in and out of feeling very emotional, but I managed, right?. You can call up your traumatic memories under your own volitional control and they don't control you. The memories of the event or events have a cogent narrative that you can convey if you want to, and they're importantly, and I talked to Carson about this before he spoke importantly, they're connected to your feelings. And my final comment about reintegration. And I say this with absolute care and concern for not only your well-being but my own. I urge you to cultivate a personal and private life. One that has not lived out before your abuser or your abusive community. One that honors your own humanity, protects your person and allows your roots to grow and allows you to bear fruit. 50:36 I want to talk about justice in the moral community, and then I'm going to wrap it up. The idea of a moral community is a concept wherein a group of people have a social contract, and they respect a certain moral code, a group of people in whom you trust, and you believe will have your back. It does not have to be a faith community. But very often faith communities fall into that category. For faith communities to be a place of healing, it's critical that the demand for justice in the context of the moral community must be shared by the group. We all need to be outraged. Julie asked the other day, people ask her why she's so mad. And she says why are you not mad? We all need to be outraged. And yeah, absolutely. And what Paulo Freire calls, “our just ire.” We need to get our backs up about this stuff. And we need to ask the following question, or we want to be asked the following question as well. What would it take to repair the harm? Or at least as much as possible? This requires that people listen. Universally, we want public acknowledgement of the harm universally. If the harm has been public, we want publicly acknowledgement. We want the right. Somebody asked me once, you know, how far does this apology from RZIM needs to go? And I said needs to go as far as what the damage to me has gone. 51:55 And we all want protection from others, and we want moral vindication. We want somebody to stand up and say that bastard was wrong, not her. There are roads to justice and many of you know those roads to justice, and they're probably not worth getting into. But what is required of you is required that you do justice, and that we love mercy. And mercy doesn't look like re-platforming anyone or sharing platforms of abusers. But it does look like honoring your own humanity and even the humanity of the people who have wounded you. I am speaking after two people who sought my slaughter. That fact is not lost on me. 52:59 And it also requires us to walk with humility. Humility says that although we have been wronged, we are people who are capable of wrong as well. It means cultivating a culture and a posture, not of deference, as I have heard so often, but one of gratitude. Not gratitude for the harm that you have suffered and in many ways continue to suffer, but gratitude that unlike your offender, you get to choose who you want to be. You can cultivate your character, you can nurture empathy, and you can become the person that you desperately wished that others had been for you. I spoke for the last time, I spoke at RESTORE last year in 2023. And while I'm not certain at present, I do feel I felt coming here to this conference this time that this season is coming to an end for me, which is why I had an epitaph here for you today. It's in keeping with my own core values that I didn't know I had but I now can name of equality and mutuality and reciprocity. I am going to be taking a seat and letting others speak. I've also come to know that my own person is most effective when I can pursue excellence and you deserve excellence. For me that requires concentrated effort in one domain. 54:34 Additionally, I didn't survive all of this to not really live and neither have you. Julie is going to talk to you about why not quit and I am here to tell you can. It has been a privilege to speak with you. I'm sorry I took up so much of your time. It is an honor and you have been my joy. Thank you for your absorbent listening and for bringing the weight of your pain and for bearing the weight of mine. I opened with saying that I didn't choose to be part of this community. But I close with this, I would choose any one of you any day of the week. Something rare and true and beautiful emerges when an innocent victim endures abuse and finds a way to flourish in the aftermath of injustice, and you are truly beautiful. Thank you. Read more

Show notes for Episode 6: Carrie Poppy https://maximumfun.org/about/team/carrie-poppy/ Historian Edward Shorter From Paralysis to Fatigue; a history of psychosomatic illness in the modern era Idioms of distress https://www.brightfutures.org/concerns/culture/cultural-concepts.html Article in The Cut: The Memory War; Jennifer Freyd accused her father of sexual abuse. Her parents' attempt to discredit her created a defense for countless sex offenders. Carrie's response: The Letters New York Magazine Hasn't Printed.  Meredith Maran Interview 5/23/2023 My Lie; A True Story of False Memory Forward to the second edition Diana Russell's book, The Secret Trauma, published in 1999.  https://www.dianarussell.com/the_great_incest_war.html Cover art collage by Jena Martin, using Solitude by Frederick Leighton 1890

Childhood Trauma and Forgiveness. Why We Need to Forgive Both Ourselves and Others  Today I wanted to share some thoughts about forgiveness. Why is forgiveness so important in the healing of childhood trauma? I talk about why forgiveness is not about condoning what others have done but it is more about ourselves. When we forgive we release the resentment and the hatred that we are carrying. I link it in to boarding school trauma and also to Jennifer Freyd's betrayal trauma. Here is the boarding school men's circle I spoke about: https://www.piers-cross.com/online-mens-circles And here is the latest podcast with leading parenting expert Sarah Ockwell-Smith: https://youtu.be/ijqYaxlXK34 Warm regards, Piers --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

From the Visible Voices Podcast archives, today's episode features subject matter experts in safety. Specifically we highlight the research and findings of Dr. Jennifer J Frey. founder of  The Center for Institutional Courage .  Jennifer Joy Freyd researcher, author, educator, and speaker. Freyd is an extensively published scholar who is best known for her theories of betrayal trauma, DARVO, institutional betrayal, and institutional courage.Freyd is the Founder and President of the Center for Institutional Courage, Professor Emerit[ of Psychology at the University of Oregon, Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences in the School of Medicine,[Faculty Fellow at the Clayman Institute for Gender Research, Affiliated Faculty, Women's Leadership Lab, Stanford University, and principal investigator of the Freyd Dynamics Lab. Freyd settled a lawsuit she filed against the University of Oregon after learning that the university was paying her $18,000 less per year than male colleagues closest in rank to her. The university agreed to pay her $350,000 to cover her claims for damages and her attorneys' fees and also agreed to donate $100,000 to the Center for Institutional Courage. Kevin Webb is a higher education training professional specializing in Title IX compliance and gender-based violence prevention, as well as equity and inclusion. Kevin has developed, implemented, and facilitated in-person and online training and education programs for students, faculty, and staff at large public and private universities, and produced a variety of education and awareness events around sexual assault and relationship violence prevention in collaboration with campus and community partners. Kevin has developed content for online Title IX/sexual misconduct training implemented by a cross section of American colleges and universities, and provided sexual harassment training for private organizations. Kevin is a graduate of Brown University, where he served as a teaching assistant in sociology courses dealing with issues of race and social justice, and an MPA from the Baruch College School of Public Affairs, CUNY.

Legendary researcher Dr. Jennifer Freyd, who has dedicated her life to understanding betrayal, reveals what you need to know about abuse, lies, toxic behavior and how to tell if you have “betrayal blindness.” Watch and Subscribe to our YouTube Channel @NavigatingNarcissismPod Follow me on social:  Instagram - @doctorramani Pod Instagram - @navigatingnarcissismpod Facebook - @doctorramani Twitter - @DoctorRamani YouTube: Dr. Ramani's YT - DoctorRamani I want to hear from you, too. Have a toxic topic you want me to explore? Email me at askdrramani@redtabletalk.com. I just might answer your questions on air. Guest Bio: Jennifer J. Freyd, PhD, is a researcher, author, activist, and speaker.  Freyd is the Founder and President of the Center for Institutional Courage, Professor Emerit of Psychology at the University of Oregon, and Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences in the School of Medicine, Stanford University. Freyd is a widely published scholar known for her theories of betrayal trauma, institutional betrayal, institutional courage, and DARVO. Freyd is the author of the Harvard Press award-winning book Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse. Her book Blind to Betrayal, co-authored with Pamela J. Birrell, was published in English with seven translations. Freyd has received numerous awards including being selected for the 2021 Christine Blasey Ford Woman of Courage Award by the Association for Women in Psychology. Guest Information: Website: https://www.jjfreyd.com/  Twitter: @jjfreydcourage This podcast should not be used as a substitute for medical or mental health advice. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical advice, counseling, and/or therapy from a healthcare professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issue, or health inquiry, including matters discussed on this podcast. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS Jada Pinkett Smith, Ellen Rakieten, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Meghan Hoffman VP PRODUCTION OPERATIONS Martha Chaput CREATIVE DIRECTOR Jason Nguyen LINE PRODUCER Lee Pearce PRODUCER Matthew Jones, Aidan Tanner ASSOCIATE PRODUCER Mara De La Rosa ASSOCIATE CREATIVE PRODUCER Keenon Rush HAIR AND MAKEUP ARTIST Samatha Pack AUDIO ENGINEER Calvin Bailiff EXEC ASST Rachel Miller PRODUCTION OPS ASST Jesse Clayton EDITOR Eugene Gordon Eric Tome POST MEDIA MANAGER Luis E. Ackerman POST PROD ASST Moe Alvarez AUDIO EDITORS & MIXERS Matt Wellentin, Geneva Wellentin, VP, HEAD OF PARTNER STRATEGY Jae Trevits Digital MARKETING DIRECTOR Sophia Hunter VP, POST PRODUCTION Jonathan Goldberg SVP, HEAD OF CONTENT Lukas Kaiser HEAD OF CURRENT Christie Dishner VP, PRODUCTION OPERATIONS Jacob Moncrief EXECUTIVE IN CHARGE OF PRODUCTION Dawn ManningSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today I am looking at betrayal trauma and the work of Jennifer Freyd PhD. What is betrayal trauma? And why is betrayal the key element that makes an experience become traumatic especially in childhood? I read some of the words of Joy Schaverien PhD and Nick Duffell from his book Wounded Leaders. They talk about how for some boarding school is a betrayal. So if it is a betrayal is it then a trauma? Some exploration of betrayal trauma and the journal article: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0886260511421672 Any thoughts or reflections please do let me know. Warm regards, Piers --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/

In 2017, Oregon passed a law that was aimed at reducing wage disparities for employees performing the same work. Historically, women and people of color have earned lower wages than their white or male co-workers. Years later, a report from Oregon's audit division found that wage gaps in government positions still remain. Ian Green is an audit manager for the Oregon Secretary of State audits division. Jennifer Freyd is a professor emerit of psychology at the University of Oregon. They join us with details of the report and how persistent pay disparities affect employees.

Today Professor Jennifer Freyd speaks out against institutional betrayal, specifically about issues of sexual harassment and violence. We talk about what happens when institutions of higher education, which are supposed to be nurturing young people, teaching them to be better citizens and contributors to society, end up betraying them when they are mistreated.  We talk in particular about the effects this has on students who enter universities hoping to become professors themselves, only to be betrayed by their own departments. Jennifer helps us understand why both individuals and departments deny betrayal, and she makes a forceful argument for changing that state of things. She ends by talking about hope and the future, and the work of her non-profit Institute for Institutional Courage.Jennifer J. Freyd, PhD, is a researcher, author, educator, and speaker.  Freyd is the Founder and President of the Center for Institutional Courage, Professor Emerit of Psychology at the University of Oregon, and Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences in the School of Medicine, Affiliated Faculty at the Clayman Institute for Gender Research, and Affiliated Faculty, Women's Leadership Lab, Stanford University. She is also a Member of the Advisory Committee, 2019-2023, for the Action Collaborative on Preventing Sexual Harassment in Higher Education, National Academies of Science, Engineering, and Medicine. Freyd was in 1989-90 and again in 2018-19 a Fellow at the Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences at Stanford University. Freyd currently serves as the Editor of The Journal of Trauma & Dissociation. Freyd is a widely published and renowned scholar known for her theories of betrayal trauma, institutional betrayal, institutional courage, and DARVO. She received her PhD in Psychology from Stanford University. The author or coauthor of over 200 articles and op-eds, Freyd is also the author of the Harvard Press award-winning book Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse. Her most recent book Blind to Betrayal, co-authored with Pamela J. Birrell, was published by John Wiley, with seven additional translations. In 2014, Freyd was invited two times to the U.S. White House due to her research on sexual assault and institutional betrayal. In 2021 Freyd and the University of Oregon settled Freyd's precedent-setting equal pay lawsuit.Freyd has received numerous awards including being named a John Simon Guggenheim Fellow, an Erskine Fellow at The University of Canterbury in New Zealand, and a Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. In April 2016, Freyd was awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award from the International Society for the Study of Trauma & Dissociation.  Freyd was selected for the 2021 Christine Blasey Ford Woman of Courage Award by the Association for Women in Psychology.     

Thank you so much for tuning in for another episode of Tin Foil Hat with Sam Tripoli. This episode I welcome Scott Armstrong back to the show to discuss his research into the story of Pamela and Peter Freyd after their adult daughter, psychology professor Jennifer Freyd, accused Peter of molesting her as a child and how they formed the False Memory Syndrome Foundation to discredit witnesses. This one is crazy. The rabbit hole is far reaching to many aspects of today culture. Thank you for your support. PS: I want to apologize to Scott for not truly understanding what the topic was and opening the show with a story that didn't fit what he wanted to talk about. I am sorry my man.Want To See Sam Tripoli Live? Grab Your Tickets at Samtripoli.comDec 14th- Christmas Chaos is back at the Comedy for two shows. Grab your tickets at theComedyStore.com.8pm: https://www.showclix.com/event/early-comedy-chaos-december14th10:30pm: https://www.showclix.com/event/comedy-chaos-december14thJan 12th-14th: The Comedy Vault In Batavia, ILhttps://www.comedyvaultbatavia.com/events/67330Jan 19th-21st: The House Of Comedy In Phoenix, Azhttps://az.houseofcomedy.net/attraction/sam-tripoli/Please check out Scott Armstrong's internet:Main Website: https://Rebunked.newsRokfin: https://Rokfin.com/RebunkedTwitter: https://twitter.com/RebunkedNewsTelegram: https://Telegram.com/RebunkedNewsInstagram: https://instagram.com/RebunkedNewsThe Last American Vagabond Substack: https://TLAVagabond.substack.comFMSF Article: https://tlavagabond.substack.com/p/the-false-memory-syndrome-foundationPlease check out SamTripoli.com for all things Sam Tripoli.Please check out Sam Tripoli's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/samtripoliNuked.Social: Please check out Nuked.Social and join our decentralized social media that allows you to connect with telegram and the discord.Check out all of our premium content on ROKFIN.com.  Tin Foil Hat Premium: https://rokfin.com/tinfoilhatZero: https://rokfin.com/zeroConspiracy Social Club: https://rokfin.com/conspiracysocialclubBroken Simulation: https://rokfin.com/brokensimulationCash Daddies:  Patreon.com/CashDaddiesThank you to our sponsors:Blue Chew: Visit Blue Chew dot com and get your first shipment free when you use promo code tinfoil. 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Today on the How We Can Heal Podcast, Lisa Danylchuk chats with Jennifer Freyd, Ph.D., a researcher, author, educator, speaker and so much more. The pair discuss Freyd's path to finding the Center for Institutional Courage, how the connections we have to institutions affect us, and her research on DARVO. Now, let's wrap up Season 2 and get talking about how we can heal.About Jennifer Freyd:Jennifer J. Freyd, PhD, is a researcher, author, educator, and speaker. Freyd is the Founder and President of the Center for Institutional Courage, Professor Emerit of Psychology at the University of Oregon, and Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences in the School of Medicine, Affiliated Faculty at the Clayman Institute for Gender Research, and Affiliated Faculty, Women's Leadership Lab, Stanford University. She is also a Member of the Advisory Committee, 2019-2023, for the Action Collaborative on Preventing Sexual Harassment in Higher Education, National Academies of Science, Engineering, and Medicine. Freyd was in 1989-90 and again in 2018-19 a Fellow at the Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences at Stanford University. Freyd currently serves as the Editor of The Journal of Trauma & Dissociation.Freyd is a widely published and renowned scholar known for her theories of betrayal trauma, institutional betrayal, institutional courage, and DARVO. She received her PhD in Psychology from Stanford University. The author or coauthor of over 200 articles and op-eds, Freyd is also the author of the Harvard Press award-winning book Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse. Her most recent book Blind to Betrayal, co-authored with Pamela J. Birrell, was published by John Wiley, with seven additional translations. In 2014, Freyd was invited two times to the U.S. White House due to her research on sexual assault and institutional betrayal. In 2021 Freyd and the University of Oregon settled Freyd's precedent-setting equal pay lawsuit.Freyd has received numerous awards including being named a John Simon Guggenheim Fellow, an Erskine Fellow at The University of Canterbury in New Zealand, and a Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. In April 2016, Freyd was awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award from the International Society for the Study of Trauma & Dissociation. Freyd was selected for the 2021 Christine Blasey Ford Woman of Courage Award by the Association for Women in Psychology.Additional Bio: Jennifer Joy Freyd profile by the American Psychological Association.Outline of the episode:04:26 Defining Institutional Courage18:54 Institutional Betrayal & Betrayal Blindness Explained33:29 The link between individuals and the institutions we love47:47 DARVO: Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender54:38 Lab Research Institutional CourageResources:Jennifer's Website: https://www.jjfreyd.com/Center for Institutional Courage: https://www.institutionalcourage.org/Dynamics Lab: https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/South Park DARVO clip: https://southpark.cc.com/video-clips/gfwbrf/south-park-it-s-called-darvoYou can follow Dr. Freyd on Twitter at @jjfreydcourageFull Episode Transcript: howwecanheal.com/podcast

Healing from childhood sexual abuse is far more complex than healing somatically. Often we must confront challenging family dynamics, betrayal, attachment wounds, abandonment, rage, grief, self-blame, guilt, and so much more. In this episode, I talk about the biggest lessons I've learned in healing from childhood trauma. You'll learn: The complexities around childhood sexual abuse and attachment issues Why so many childhood abuse survivors find themselves isolated and without familial support Why acknowledging betrayal trauma is a key part of the healing process How trauma impacts and gets stored in the body How self-trust and personal power can be developed through trauma Links: Reclaiming All Parts of You [meditation & workbook on healing the roots of shame] - https://jazminerussell.lpages.co/reclaiming/ 1:1 Holistic Counseling, Breathwork, and Energy Work Sessions- https://jazminerussell.com/ Research: https://www.rainn.org/statistics Why family members side with abusers: https://psychcentral.com/lib/reasons-family-members-side-with-sexual-abusers Narcissism and sexual violence: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1077801215622575 Cumulative childhood stress and autoimmune diseases in adults. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3318917/ Vagus Nerve and PTSD: https://www.nature.com/articles/tp2017191 Vagus nerve exercises: https://drarielleschwartz.com/natural-vagus-nerve-stimulation-dr-arielle-schwartz/ Jennifer Freyd betrayal trauma https://www.jjfreyd.com/books, Research: https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/betrayal-trauma

Jennifer Joy Freyd researcher, author, educator, and speaker. Freyd is an extensively published scholar who is best known for her theories of betrayal trauma, DARVO, institutional betrayal, and institutional courage.Freyd is the Founder and President of the Center for Institutional Courage, Professor Emerit[ of Psychology at the University of Oregon, Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences in the School of Medicine,[Faculty Fellow at the Clayman Institute for Gender Research, Affiliated Faculty, Women's Leadership Lab, Stanford University, and principal investigator of the Freyd Dynamics Lab.Betrayal trauma Earlier this year, she settled a lawsuit she filed against the University of Oregon after learning that the university was paying her $18,000 less per year than male colleagues closest in rank to her. The university agreed to pay her $350,000 to cover her claims for damages and her attorneys' fees and also agreed to donate $100,000 to the Center for Institutional Courage. Kevin Webb is a higher education training professional specializing in Title IX compliance and gender-based violence prevention, as well as equity and inclusion. Kevin has developed, implemented, and facilitated in-person and online training and education programs for students, faculty, and staff at large public and private universities, and produced a variety of education and awareness events around sexual assault and relationship violence prevention in collaboration with campus and community partners. Kevin has developed content for online Title IX/sexual misconduct training implemented by a cross section of American colleges and universities, and provided sexual harassment training for private organizations. Kevin has a Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology and Organizational Behavior and Management from Brown University, where he served as a teaching assistant in sociology courses dealing with issues of race and social justice, and a Master's degree in Public Administration (MPA) from the Baruch College School of Public Affairs, CUNY. In the news: Institutional betrayal Three graduate students file sexual harassment suit against prominent Harvard anthropology professor (Boston Globe)DARVO A high-flying German media giant is ahead on digital media but seems stuck in the past when it comes to the workplace and deal-making. Axel Springer (NYTimes)Women spoke up, men cried conspiracy: inside Axel Springer's #MeToo moment (Financial Times) 2018 NASEM Report  Sexual Harassment in Academic Science Engineering and Medicine This study examined the prevalence and impact of sexual harassment in academia on the career advancement of women in the scientific, technical, and medical workforce. The report concludes that the cumulative result of sexual harassment in academic sciences, engineering, and medicine is significant damage to research integrity and a costly loss of talent in these fields. It provides a series of recommendations for systemwide changes to the culture and climate in higher education to prevent and effectively address all forms of sexual harassment. DARVODARVO stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender—a perpetrator strategy. The perpetrator may Deny the behavior, Attack the individual doing the confronting, and Reverse the roles of Victim and Offender, so that the perpetrator adopts the victim role and accuses the true victim of being an offender. This can occur when an actually guilty perpetrator assumes the role of "falsely accused" and attacks the accuser's credibility and blames the accuser of being the perpetrator of a false accusation. Institutional courage™Institutional courage is the antidote to institutional betrayal. It includes institutional accountability and transparency, as when institutions respond well to disclosures and when institutions conduct anonymous surveys of victimization within the institution and then use the data to become healthier. Betrayal blindnessBetrayal blindness, a key concept of betrayal trauma theory, is the unawareness, not-knowing, and forgetting exhibited by people towards betrayal. Victims, perpetrators, and witnesses may display betrayal blindness in order to preserve relationships, institutions, and social systems upon which they depend. Betrayal trauma A betrayal trauma occurs when someone you trust and/or someone who has power over you mistreats you. For instance, it's a betrayal trauma when your boss sexually harasses you. Our research shows that betrayal traumas are toxic. They are associated with measurable harm, both physical and mental. Institutional betrayalInstitutional betrayal, developed from betrayal trauma theory, occurs when the institution you trust or depend upon mistreats you. It can be overt but it can also be less obvious, for instance, a failure to protect you when protection is a reasonable expectation. Our research shows that institutional betrayal is also related to measurable harm —again both mental and physical.

To hear the full episode, subscribe at patreon.com/TrueAnonPod ---------- We take a look at one of the upcoming defense witnesses for Ghislaine Maxwell: Dr. Elizabeth Loftus, including her ties to the False Memory Syndrome Foundation, the case of Jennifer Freyd, MKUltra, and what it all has to do with Ted Bundy.

Join me as I talk with Dr. Jennifer Freyd, PhD, to understand how betrayal from childhood trauma “show ups” in our adulthood, and ways we can overcome those effects.How Abusers Silence Victims and How That Affects Us In Adulthood.The Courage To Confront: The Good, The Bad, & "The How?"Women In The Workplace: Overcoming The “Silent and Hidden Barriers” from Childhood Trauma.Dr. Freyd is the founder of The Center for Institutional Courage, and Professor Emerit of Psychology, at the University of Oregon. She's also Affiliated Faculty at the Women's Leadership Lab at Stanford University.  Dr. Freyd is world-renowned for her work on Betrayal trauma, Institutional Betrayal and Courage, and for her framework (DARVO) that identifies strategies used by abusers to manipulate their victims. That framework is so widely-known that actress, political activist, and sexual assault survivor, Ashley Judd, referenced it when discussing the Harvey Weinstein sexual abuse allegations in an interview with Diane Sawyer in 2017. Dr. Freyd has also been interviewed extensively by media in relation to the Harvey Weinstein case, and is sought internationally to talk about ways individuals can overcome childhood trauma, and how institutions play a role through betrayal and courage. Dr. Freyd's books and speaking appearances have reached millions of people around the world.

ModeratorEstelle FreedmanPanelistsJennifer FreydJennifer GómezCarolyn Warner----Social Science for a World in CrisisEvent Page with InfoCASBS on Twitter

After last week's episode with Carrie Poppy, I got a number of responses saying we might have been a little too dismissive of the evolutionary case for repressed memory. As it turns out, Dr. Jennifer Freyd, has developed a theory that could account for something like it. Yes, that Jennifer Freyd, the accuser whose story was told in The Cut's article that started this whole thing! The entire situation is as fascinating as it is tragic for virtually everyone involved, but Dr. Lindsey Osterman is here to give us a more complete understanding of the science!

Dr. Jennifer Freyd is a Professor of Psychology at the University of Oregon, as well as the Founder and President of a new non-profit, the Center for Institutional Courage. Dr. Freyd spoke with me about her journey from studying cognitive psychology to institutional betrayal, to institutional courage, as well as the ways she has had to show personal courage along her scholarly path. Though we don't discuss it in this episode Dr. Freyd is also fighting for pay equity at her institution via a major lawsuit. TRANSCRIPT Dr. Kate Clancy (Intro): Hello and welcome to the Courageous Scientists Podcast. My name is Kate Clancy and as you probably know from previous episodes this is a short, global pandemic passion project just to, I don’t know, shine a little light into our days and get to know some really amazing courageous people. I am so excited by who I am getting to talk to today, one of my personal heroes, this is Dr. Jennifer Freyd. She is a professor of psychology at the University of Oregon, she is a visiting scholar at Stanford and Jennifer is the founder and president of Center for Institutional Courage. So that should just give you the beginnings of the idea of why I am so excited to talk to Dr. Freyd. Thank you so much for joining me today. Dr. Jennifer Freyd: It’s my pleasure to be here. Clancy: So, as you know, since we talked about this before I started recording, I am going to be asking you the same three questions we ask everybody. So would you mind just starting with the first one: what brought you to science? Freyd: Well, you know I was an undergraduate in the late 1970s and I kept switching my major because I kept having new passions from fine arts to philosophy, ending up with anthropology. And near the end of my time in college I, on a lark, took an introductory psychology course and what inspired me to do that was one day walking through the library and seeing somebody’s textbook open with a diagram of the ear, explaining how hearing worked and perception and I thought it was so neat to understand perception. So I took this introductory psychology course and I fell in love with what was then called cognitive psychology: the study of thinking, memory, perception and decided that’s what I just had to do. It was really truly just falling in love. And so I just managed to get myself into graduate school despite not having a psychology major and I went to Stanford and I pursued cognitive psychology with great enthusiasm for really about ten years. Clancy: And since then you’ve had certainly a bit of a shift away from cognitive psychology. Do you want to say all what’s motivated that shift. Freyd: I think it kind of relates to your second question about courage because the shift required a lot of courage. I was in my early 30s, had mad something of a good name for myself in the field of cognitive psychology. Had tenure, was doing work that truly interested me that other people were building upon as well and in the area that I called Dynamic Representations’…had to do with perception and memory and around that time, two things happened. One was that there was a public increased interest in… what had been called different things but basically memories recovered of prior trauma so, especially prior sexual trauma and there were newspaper stories about it and it was touching to me personally in various ways as well and I realized, there are also memory psychologists. I knew a lot, but I had never really learned about this kind of striking phenomenon. And so I decided it was really important to understand and I delved into it, I learned a lot about sexual violence and hit the history of research on memory and trauma in general and for sexual violence and decided to start doing some research on this topic. And it was met with great consternation from my colleagues. Nobody was talking about sexual violence in academic psychology and I remember giving a colloquium starting out with some data, from other people, I hadn’t at that point collected my own data and about the rates. And it was like I had gotten up on a table and did something incredibly inappropriate because people were… some people were like scratching at their faces. It was really hard to describe and this was 1991 that that happened and, it would have been easy for me to have sort of retreated at that moment realizing that people did not like what I was doing, but for whatever reason, I’m just not made that way and if anything it kind of fueled my determination to study this topic and I developed a theory that it became called ‘Betrayal Trauma Theory,’ given kind of rapidly, and presented it in the summer of 1991 at a conference at UCSF’s (University of California, San Francisco) Medical School and really, at that point, shifted to more and more research on the psychology of sexual violence and trauma. Clancy: And so, as you said your sort of answer to that question was also starting to answer the second question of, ‘How have you shown courage in science?’ Can you share a little bit more about when you made that pivot and when you encountered obstacles… what that was like for you and how you persevered? Freyd: Yeah, I mean I’ve thought about it since you sent those questions and, there’s probably lots of different stories I could tell, but maybe one of the important moments there was, first of all just not giving up when my colleagues reacted with such unhappiness at my shift in interest and part of the message that came to me was this wasn’t an important topic and it probably wasn’t real and the data probably weren’t real and it was like a… it was not only inappropriate but, scientifically insignificant. And I knew, because I had read a lot of papers by then, that although there wasn’t a tone of research there was tons of research to say it was real. And I couldn’t imagine how it couldn’t be important. So, you know, I stuck with it. But within a couple of years, I found myself the target of a national organization that went after me. And this was extreme, this was a lot more than like colleagues in my department being realty bad and stuff, this was actual overt attack. And unfortunately for me, it involved my parents and they, and a lot of other people, really focused on discrediting me. And people in the media in the media like often, inadvertently I hope, broadcasted that message. It was humiliating and horrible. It took me some years, before I could speak at all in a public way about my suggestions, but it didn’t stop me from doing research. I just kept my head down and I did the research. In 1993, some more than two or three years into this, two years into this, I did speak out about the situation and why it wasn’t okay and I did that mostly because I was realizing it was impacting a lot of other people. Looking back, I don’t know how I had the courage to do that. I really don’t I certainly had the support of people close to me. I had an incredibly supportive partner and, at that point wonderful young children and very good friends, but very little support otherwise. I think it was just understanding that this was so important and some intuitive understanding that the backlash I was experiencing was part of the phenomenon and part of why I could not succumb to that pressure. That went on for years in the 90s and it started to subside near the end of the 90s and now I can, this is interesting to me, now students don’t know anything about that. My name was in so much popular media for a while there everybody knew about it but it just, sort of, shows how, with time, that certain things get forgotten and, to my relief, people don’t necessarily know about that but I think it’s important to, you know to say that scientists can get under a lot of personal attack for their work they’re doing and, in my case, intellectual work was put in personal terms, which I think was part of the point in discrediting me. So that was an extreme experience. Flash forward twenty years to 2014-ish, there was another, sort of, experience I had. I was doing research, by then my lab had been really going strong for twenty years. Developed Betrayal Trauma Theory where we were starting to study what we call ‘Institutional Betrayal’ and we had tons of data and by that time the country had really come around in talking about sexual violence in a big way. College Sexual Assault was now a topic. I was getting called from the press and the college really had turned around in a lot of ways. A big scandal hit my school involving an alleged gang rape involving athletes and there were protests, I was involved in various ways and the university administration asked me what they should do to handle the campus crisis and I said they should do what some people sometimes call a campus climate study, a survey of victimization rates which had not been done really in a big way at the school. At first they seemed to really want to support that but the when they looked at the survey, they really decided that no they were not going to support that and I think part of the thing that was going on too is I was openly critical in some ways of the university’s response and had even filed a report with the Department of Education on a suspected Clery Act violation. So you know I stuck my neck at them but I was proposing for really sound research that would really help the university and when they said no, they wouldn’t support or help this campus wide survey, I, somehow with my lab, figured out how to do it anyway. We got alternative funding and within a couple month’s we had done a big survey and it ended up being a really big contributor, in a good way, to the university but it took a lot of courage to do that when the administration seemed so clearly to be unhappy and had even said to the local press demeaning things about me as a researcher. Currently, I have put a huge amount of energy into creating a new non-profit, it’s called the Center for Institutional Courage. This has taken courage for me because of just who I am. I am an introverted person. I’m very comfortable in a laboratory, being a professor and I had to get out of that comfort zone to do this because founding a running a nonprofit involves all sorts of different skills. It really is probably a better thing for an extrovert than an introvert but I feel really strongly that the world needs exactly what I’m trying to create which is a research and dissemination organization to look at institutional courage which is kind of the antidote of institutional betrayal. Clancy: You know as a… as someone who does some work in this area and has been following in your footsteps for a very long time, it has been wonderful to see the center taking shape and I’m really excited about what it continues to do. Freyd: Thank you. Clancy: You’re welcome. I do have one last question: what do you want other people to know about what it means to be a courageous scientist? Freyd: A big part of this is being honest with yourself and what your values are and living your values. And each person’s values are going to be different so it’s going to look different for different people but I think we tend to be not courageous when we’re not living true to our own values. So for me, it’s really taking the time to think about what I really care the most about and prioritize and then say, ‘Is my living consistent with those values?’ and if I’m not, then adjusting what I am doing. And I think courage gets involved because, often, it’s easier to go along with what everybody else expects and go along with the status quo and when you detect that your own values are at odds with what you’re doing, it takes courage to change. People will resist it most likely. To me that’s what it takes whether it’s science or life. Clancy: I could not agree more. Any last thoughts or final words for our listeners? Freyd: I guess, you know, I can’t help but see in the response to the current pandemic all the themes that I’ve been looking at over the past 30 years showing up in various dramatic ways to the extent that the pandemic may impact people’s vulnerability to sexual violence and then you need to show institutional courage to protect people, for instance, who are ordered to be at home with abusers, to the response to the pandemic itself coming from various leaders whether those leaders create institutional betrayal through their inaction and dishonesty or whether they show institutional courage through their honesty and courageous moves. I just think it’s so right in front of our eyes right now and it just brings me back to why I think it’s so important to have a research center focusing on issues of institutional betrayal and institutional courage. Clancy: I was just having a conversation recently with folks about the fact that a lot of the university’s did at least some communicating in the early weeks of the pandemic and a lot have fallen silent now as we’re are all reckoning with how long term this is going to be and I know a lot of universities are reckoning with the fact that they are losing tens, if not, hundreds of millions of dollars because of what’s happening, but they aren’t necessarily talking to their people about it. But they’re not necessarily talking to their people about it.  Freyd: I agree with you. Clancy: That’s concerning. Freyd: Yeah the lack of transparency is a hallmark of institutional betrayal and when I say, for instance, if the university is asking faculty to agree to pay-cuts without telling the faculty what the budget situation is… that seems very problematic to me because you don’t, where’s the accountability? What is being funded and what is not being funded? So I agree with you completely. It’s really important that universities stay open with their information right now to make sure that we really come out of this in a healthy way. Clancy: Right, especially in times like this right? Times of crisis or when we have to double down on, like you said thinking through our values and staying true to them rather than acting in fear. Freyd: Right. Clancy: Well I guess, fingers crossed that our various universities figure that out. (Laughs) Freyd: Yes. Clancy: Well thank you so much for joining me. This was just wonderful, as it always is when I get to talk to you so thank you so much. Freyd: Thank you Kate, so great to talk to you. Clancy (Outro): Yeah and thank you everyone for joining me for the courageous scientist podcast. If you want to learn more and visit the show notes to learn more about Dr. Freyd’s work, it’s at courageous-scientist.libysn.com, you do not need to visit a Patreon or help fund this podcast in any way. All you have to do is try to give some money to your foodbank so thank you so much and have a great day.

Kelly has an important and provocative conversation with professor Jennifer Freyd about finding institutional courage in the aftermath of trauma.

Jennifer FreydInstitutional Betrayal Research HomepageLearn about DARVOWatch the CASBS Symposium: “Betrayal and Courage in the Age of #MeToo”Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences@casbsstanford on twitter

Speaking up about injustice and bad behavior in a professional setting - as a witness, or as the target of it - is hard. It's uncomfortable, it's difficult, and it can generate backlash and other risks for yourself and your career. In this episode, we talk about that moment when people finally decide to say something or do something. Simine shares the story of how she decided to go on the record about being groped at a conference - what brought her to that decision, and what happened as a result. And we talk about other cases of people speaking up about harassment, discrimination, professional misconduct, and more, including Jennifer Freyd's pay discrimination lawsuit against the University of Oregon. We talk about the burden of knowing something is wrong, how this dilemma often falls disproportionately on people who are vulnerable in other ways, and what factors can help somebody speak out. Plus: we respond to a letter about department leaders who are obsessed with bean-counting of grant dollars and impact factors. Links: N-best evaluation for academic hiring and promotion, by Michael Frank Making research evaluation more transparent: Aligning research philosophy, institutional values, and reporting, by Michael Dougherty, L. Robert Slevc, and James Grand, published at Perspectives in Psychological Science Dan Engber's Slate article where Simine went on the record What Reporting Sexual Harassment Taught Me, by Simine Vazire, published at Slate a little bit louder now, by Simine Vazire Taylor Swift’s Sexual Assault Testimony Was Sharp, Gutsy, and Satisfying Coverage of Jennifer Freyd's lawsuit: Psychology professor appeals dismissal in equal pay lawsuit with UO, Daily Emerald; and 47 Women's And Civil Rights Groups Support Equal Pay Lawsuit Against UO, OPB Why We Find and Expose Bad Science, by James Heathers The Black Goat is hosted by Sanjay Srivastava, Alexa Tullett, and Simine Vazire. Find us on the web at www.theblackgoatpodcast.com, on Twitter at @blackgoatpod, on Facebook at facebook.com/blackgoatpod/, and on instagram at @blackgoatpod. You can email us at letters@theblackgoatpodcast.com. You can subscribe to us on iTunes or Stitcher. Our theme music is Peak Beak by Doctor Turtle, available on freemusicarchive.org under a Creative Commons noncommercial attribution license. Our logo was created by Jude Weaver. This is episode 69. It was recorded on October 30, 2019.

Anya and Alan discuss the hilarious, but very dark, best-selling novel “Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine” by Gail Honeyman. We discuss suicide, loneliness, and depression- so please take care to listen only if you are ready for those themes. Also we ask ourselves- “What would a ferret do in this situation?” and realize the correct way to live.WARNING We discuss suicide, depression, and extreme loneliness in this episode. If you are struggling with these issues and need help please visit The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or call 1-800-273-8255.Tesco is a grocery store in the United Kingdom.As of the time we made the podcast, there is no forward motion on a film adaptation. Here is an article about the project as last reported.The Slow Regard for Silent Things features Auri, who is homeless and suffers from a disassociation from reality, from The Kingkiller Chronicles.What does re framing mean?Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse by Jennifer Freyd gives some insight into how the mind will block out serious trauma that you might otherwise expect to be impossible to forget.If you want to skip over the Mummy Spoiler Alert section, then go to 01:01:30 in the podcast.Lilith Easter is the “widowed” mother of the protagonist Stacy Easter in Lani Diane Rich’s (aka Lucy March) That Touch of Magic and she is terrible mother and human.What is the Autism Spectrum?Our next episode is about the film “The Lives of Others” which is one of Anya’s favorite movies.Our theme song is Background Blues Guitar by Blowball Music.Please visit our website to find out what we will be talking about in the future. If you would like to give us feedback, please email us: contact@hallowedgroundmedia.comFollow the podcast on Twitter @HGStoryCast, follow Anya @StrangelyLiterl

Jump into Part 2 of Cynthia Langtiw's interview where we dive in and explore: Connection to Ancestry, Past, and Future as Resource The Power of Stories and Books to Heal The Soul's Yearning for the Messy Truth and the Draw to Only Show Our Shiny Parts How Can We Have True Intimacy? How Trauma Is Something That Isn't Finished or Resolved How Trauma Affects Couples and Relationships Betrayal Trauma : Micro and Macro What It Takes to Be in Good Relationship With Self and Other Bringing Your Whole Self Shedding Past Experiences With a Thank You! Dr. Cynthia Lubin Langtiw is a Haitian American licensed clinical psychologist and full professor in the clinical psychology program at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. She has served as a supervising psychologist at Mount Sinai Hospital and currently consults with their doctoral clinical training program. Dr. Langtiw is a volunteer psychologist and clinical supervisor with The Marjorie Kovler Center for Survivors of Torture. She also provides training on psychological trauma for the Young Center for Immigrant Children's Rights. Her clinical work reflects a strong systemic/community sensibility that integrates a relational cultural perspective. Much of her clinical work has been helping youth, adults, families, and communities utilize their own resources to heal from trauma. Dr. Langtiw has a strong passion for teaching, qualitative research, clinical training and enjoys supporting students in finding their voice in psychology. Listen to Part 1 of the Conversation with Cynthia about Unknowing and Finding Your Own Knowing at candicewu.com/cynthia.   Links, Article, and Resources All Show Notes for This Episode

This is a special episode all about Institutional Betrayal. We've mentioned it a lot, but haven't really gone into it in detail. We talked to Dr. Jennifer Freyd, a psychology professor at University of Oregon who coined the term.

Clinical Psychologist and sexual predation expert Dr. Anna Salter joins us to explore the psychology of sexual assault from the perspective of both the victims and the perpetrators. What causes somebody become a sex offender? Are they born that way, or are they the products of culture? Do sex offenders share any characteristics that make them stand out from the crowd? How do perpetrators choose their victims? And is there any hope of redemption for these people? From the victims perspective we discuss the women who tend to be most vulnerable to sexual assault, why many women who have been sexually assaulted are reluctant to come forward, the manipulation tactics employed by sex offenders to control their victims perception of the assault, and some of the counterintuitive victim behaviours which often lead to perpetrators walking free. *** BOOKS MENTIONED *** "Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, and Other Sex Offenders" by Anna Salter https://amzn.to/2HBwg6B "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek" by Annie Dillard https://amzn.to/2HAG40D "Without Conscience" by Robert Hare https://amzn.to/2HDeorE "Betrayal Trauma" by Jennifer Freyd https://amzn.to/2sKqxqb "The Witch-Hunt Narrative" by Ross Cheit https://amzn.to/2JxNEe1 *** DONATE OR SUBSCRIBE *** http://myownworstenemy.org/support *** SOCIAL MEDIA *** Facebook: http://facebook.com/myownworstenemyorg Twitter: http://twitter.com/dannydwhittaker *** CREDITS *** Theme Music: Falling Down by Ryan Little http://youtube.com/user/TheR4C2010 Podcast Image: Luigi Tiriticco https://flic.kr/p/MUsVLN DISCLAIMER: My Own Worst Enemy is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.co.uk and affiliated sites.

Jennifer Freyd is a Professor of Psychology at the University of OregonJennifer J. Freyd, PhD, is a professor of psychology at the University of Oregon and an author, consultant, and speaker. She is known for her influential theories about sexual assault and harassment including her theories of betrayal trauma, institutional betrayal, institutional courage, and DARVO (Deny, Attack, & Reverse Victim & Offender – a perpetrator strategy). The author or coauthor of over 200 articles, Freyd is also the author of the Harvard Press award-winning book Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse. Freyd has received numerous awards including being named a John Simon Guggenheim Fellow, an Erskine Fellow at The University of Canterbury in New Zealand, a Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, and the Lifetime Achievement Award from the International Society for the Study of Trauma & Dissociation. Freyd currently serves as the Editor of The Journal of Trauma & Dissociation and she is a Visiting Scholar at Stanford. Freyd attended the University of Pennsylvania for her undergraduate education and received her PhD in Psychology from Stanford University.Aired April 18, 2018 See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Robin on the mass abduction of Nigerian girls into sex slavery. Guests: "First Lady of Boxing” Jackie Kallen; Cara Hoffman talks about her new novel on women veterans and PTSD; Jennifer Freyd and Carly Smith on their major study of campus assaults and "institutional betrayal."

Robin takes on the new Pope, and speaks with Stephanie Gilmore on grassroots feminism; Jennifer Freyd on betrayal blindness; Helen Zia on Asian American women's history; and Urvashi Vaid as she questions the LGBT drift.