Shit We Don't Tell Mom

Vincci Tsui, a mother of a three-year-old, balances her parenting knowledge from how she was raised with what she believes to be best for her daughter.  We discuss what we've learned from our parents and what has been taught to us from living in a western society. Which teachings to adopt and which to unlearn? What fears do we have as new parents? “This is something that's new for so many people, like not just from a cultural perspective or generational perspective […] we're not alone and we're probably not going to scar our kids for life if we're doing the best that we can.” - Vincci TsuiResources & Mentions:Vincci Tsui (Website & Instagram)How Co-regulation with Parents Develops into Self-Regulation in Children (Article)Your Brain's 3 Emotion Regulation Systems (Article)Support the showThe best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too. ---- Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com www.shitwedonttellmom.com Send us an audio message by clicking here! ---- We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card! We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free! Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too.

It's official, Kristy is now single after a 6-year relationship. In this episode, we process the emotions after a breakup, recognize what is “overly independent”, and discuss fears of the future after losing a partner. Our Shit is a series where we update our lives with each other and how we cope with its challenges.“I felt like if we stayed together, we would've been living a compromised version of a life that neither of us really wanted” - Kristy YeeEpisodes Mentioned:Ep 45. Our Shit: What I Learned from Breaking Up a 6 Year RelationshipEp 47. To Have or Not to Have Babies... and WhyEp 49. Attachment Style…It Makes You Feel Some Type of WayEp 51. The Joy and Grief of Adult FriendshipsSupport the showThe best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too. ---- Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com www.shitwedonttellmom.com Send us ...

Angie has been cheated on. Kristy has done the cheating. Inspired by the recent events in the Try Guys, we chat about our own experiences with infidelity including physical cheating, emotional cheating, micro-cheating, work crushes, and how to move on. “You're not a cheater,  [...] you had cheated on. But you're not a cheater. It's not a identity thing, it's an action thing.” - Angie YuResources & Mentions:What Is an Emotional Affair? (Article)---- The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.---- Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.comwww.shitwedonttellmom.com Send us an audio message by clicking here!----We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free! Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too. Support the show

Kristy and Angie sit down to talk about adult friendships during Kristy's road trip across Canada. Analogies are made, lyrics are quoted, and tears are (almost) shed.---- The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.---- Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.comwww.shitwedonttellmom.com Send us an audio message by clicking here!----We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than sound waves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free! Yes, these are affiliate links because we like them and use them too.Support the show

Tam is in the “middle generation”. The balance between talking about mental health with her parents and learning how to teach her son to be in tune with his mental well-being. We discuss:her parents talking her out of using therapypeople-pleasing tendencies as a survival tactichow to be there for other people but also set boundaries for your own emotionscreate space to process instead of suppressing your emotions childhood bullying trauma Bonus: Kristy and Angie get their Oracle cards read for the first time"I so much want to be the obedient good daughter to them, but I don't wanna do it at the expense of my own health.” - Tam TranFind Tam:www.stigmafreemovement.comInstagram @stigmafreemovementResources & Mentions:Oracle Deck by Rebecca Campbell (cards)The High 5 Habit by Mel Robins (book)  ---- The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.---- Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.comwww.shitwedonttellmom.com Send us an audio message by clicking here!----We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free! Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too. Support the show

What is your attachment style? Have you always wanted to do one but not sure how it'll go? We'll we do the quiz and narrate as we go and share some of our childhood memories and…well the answer may surprised you! Angie how understanding attachment helped in her current relationship and Kristy gives us a relationship update. As always, we discuss some deep shit.Resources & Mentions:Attached (Amir Levine, Rachel S. F. Heller)Free Attachment Style Quiz (Psych Central)Free Attachment Style Quiz (The Attachment Project)Attachment Styles Inforgraphic (Parenting for Brain)---- The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.---- Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.comwww.shitwedonttellmom.com Send us an audio message by clicking here!----We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free! Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too. Support the show

We decided to share a popular episode from season 1 from the summer of 2020 about how we talked ourselves out of our depressive episodes. We share audio clips of our actual voice messages with each other to show our realistic experiences, thoughts, and feelings. We talk about potential coping methods and understanding the different drivers that keep us going."I just cannot rationalize my emotions away. Like I have no control over my emotions and they take over my life." - Angie"Well, the emotions are not logical, so you can't rationalize something that's... not logical." - Kristy---- The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.---- Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.comwww.shitwedonttellmom.com Send us an audio message by clicking here!----We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card! We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free! Yes, these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too. Support the showSupport the show

Angie always imaged having babies. Kristy is on team no kids. But lately, they've both been having different thoughts. In this episode, we explore why we originally wanted/not wanted babies and why we are changing our minds. We also chat about endometriosis, discussing babies when dating, abandonment fears, trust issues, and mom's guilt tripping us."Maybe the reason why I always wanted to have a baby is not why I should have a baby" - Angie Yu---- The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.---- Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.comwww.shitwedonttellmom.com Send us an audio message by clicking here!----We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card! We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free! Yes, these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too. Support the show

**Content Warning: Death, Depression, Suicide**We are joined by psychotherapist Shirvin Lee who gets vulnerable and shares her childhood traumas of facing sexism and insurmountable pressures from her family. We also learn how to process and understand emotions better.“Happiness is not the baseline.” - ShirvinResources/MentionsDopamine Nation (Book)Why Are Emotions So Important? And How to Address Them (Article)Dialectical Behavior Therapy - Self Validation (Article)Find Shirvin:Fundamentally Human by Shirvin Lee (Podcast)@therapywithshirvin (Instagram) ---- The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.---- Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.comwww.shitwedonttellmom.com Send us an audio message by clicking here!----We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too. We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy in creating content rather than editing. Sign up todayYes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too. Support the show

This is an intimate story about my recent breakup with my partner of 6 years. I share my fear of judgment from friends, staying vs. leaving the relationship, the lessons learned, and how I plan to move forward. “I can't just keep quitting every time something goes wrong in a relationship” - Kristy Resources/MentionsPaired - App for Couples ---The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.---- Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.comwww.shitwedonttellmom.com Send us an audio message by clicking here!----We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too.We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy in creating content rather than editing. Sign up todayYes these are affiliate links because like them and we use them too. Support the show

Toronto. Teenhood. Puberty. Friendships. Filial Piety. Emotions! The movie Turning Red is about a 13-year-old girl who is torn between her duties to walk down the path paved by her ancestors and her desire to find her own path. Kristy and Angie, both of whom happen to have been 13-year-old girls in the early 2000's, weigh in on the key themes like intergenerational trauma and loss of identity. Turning Red is a gift to the Asian-diaspora community delivered in a shimmery wrapping paper of hope and optimism. ---The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble, you would love that too.---- Tell us what shit YOU haven't told your mom and be featured on our next episode!  Website: www.shitwedonttellmom.comSend us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com----We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too. We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy in creating content rather than editing. Sign up todayYes these are affiliate links because we use them too. Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/swdtm)

Justine shares stories of telling her Catholic Filipino parents about dating a black man, potentially not getting married, and potentially not having kids - even though she wants 4 of them. We explore why women tend to choose “fixer-uppers”, and why we are fixated on romantic relationships to bring us happiness. She's a recovering people pleaser, avid baker, and sex educator in New York City.“Why are we giving so much credit to that one thing, one place, one person, to give us happiness” - Justine Ang FonteFind Justine:Website: https://www.justinefonte.com/ Instagram @imjustineaf---The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble, you would love that too.---- Tell us what shit YOU haven't told your mom and be featured on our next episode!  Website: www.shitwedonttellmom.comSend us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com----Interested in creating your own podcast?We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too. We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy in creating content rather than editing. Sign up todayYes these are affiliate links because we use them too. Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/swdtm)

Are we loveable? Insecurities can stem from so many different sources but how do we manage them and prevent them from ruining our current and future relationships? We dive into our experiences with our past and figure out how to notice our triggers and re-work our thinking so we can have healthier relationships.  **Content Warning: Death, Depression, Suicide**Takeaways:Don't give up after the first time you seek professional help because it's about the right fit and right timingWe inherit unhealthy emotional attachments from our families but we can unlearn themNo one is responsible for our emotional labour but ourselvesYour partner has the right and is responsible for choosing youResources:How to Overcome a Fear of RejectionCommunicating Your Needs Isn't Selfish, It's SelflessFour Ways to Stop Feeling Insecure in Your Relationships---The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble, you would love that too.---- Tell us what shit YOU haven't told your mom and be featured on our next episode!  Website: www.shitwedonttellmom.comSend us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com----Interested in creating your own podcast? We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too. Yes this is an affiliate link because we use them too.Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/swdtm)

English teacher by day, gogo dancer by night. Mom doesn't know about Carole's double life. We discuss (rant) how we deal with nagging mothers, life as a gogo-dancer, struggling with body image, and how to make hard life decisions. "No one is really looking at you. They're so concerned about their own lives. They have no time to judge you. And even if they do, it's such a passing fleeting moment."- Carole YueTakeaways:Give less FsOur relationship with mom might never be perfectly healthy Some of us are still avoiding, and that's where we need to be Our living environment shapes how anxiety manifestsThink back to when you did something scary and how you've done it Make decisions based on your 80 yo. self rather than who you are todayFind Carole:@thecommietearoom (Podcast)@ofmillenial (Personal IG) Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/swdtm)

Inner child. Trauma. Reparenting. The Little Prince. In this episode, we sit down to talk about the first time that we confronted our inner child and how we rekindled that relationship. We dive into our definition of inner child and how we practice hanging out with our inner child. Angie also shares her experience with imaginary exposure therapy which exposed some of her deep inner child wounds.Takeaways:Connecting with your inner child can be done by interacting with a younger version of yourselfDon't stop doing things you enjoyed doing as a childYou don't need a therapist or a counsellor to heal your inner child but you must want to do the work to healInner child wounds that go unattended can turn into toxic behaviours as adultsWe can now provide for our wounded inner child Mentions & Resources:The Little Prince and You (Angie's story)Le Petit Prince6 Signs You Have a Wounded Inner Child (Psych2Go Youtube)Finding and Getting to Know Your Inner Child Healing Your Inner Child Deep Secrets and Inner Child Healing---The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble, you would love that too.----  Tell us what shit YOU haven't told your mom and be featured on our next episode!   Website: www.shitwedonttellmom.comSend us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com ----Interested in creating your own podcast? We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too. Yes this is an affiliate link because we use them too. Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/swdtm)

Mimi Young is a spirit communicator. She left the corporate 9-5 world to invest in a relationship with the unseen. In this episode, we explore how Shamanism is a way to honor our ancestry, what is dream hygiene and how you can benefit, and how to get back in touch with your cultural roots that have been lost through migration and cultural revolutions. “When we can return to our roots, practices and customs, in the context of magic and spirituality, it is an act of decolonizing because then you are saying - I am Chinese, and this is what we do” - Mimi YoungTakeaways:Listen to your surroundings and traditional folklore storiesReconnecting with your spirituality IS claiming your culture and identity. It is part of decolonization.Traditional Chinese Medicine is an art & science with connections to mediumship Treat going to sleep like going out with friends; spend time to get ready for it Politics IS informed by spirituality The concept of permission is rooted in enslavementLearn to build systems that cultivate more serotonin rather than dopamineMentions & Resources:Shop Ceremonie by Mimi Yong (website)The Woowoo by Lindsay Wong (book)A Practice—and a Spell—to Find Meaning in Your Dreams (article)Listen to more Mimi Young (podcasts)Astral dream mist ---The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble, you would love that too.---- Tell us what shit YOU haven't told your mom and be featured on our next episode!  Website: www.shitwedonttellmom.comSend us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com----Interested in creating your own podcast?We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too. Yes this is an affiliate link because we use them too. Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/swdtm)

After being hospitalized for a week, Tanushree gets diagnosed with dysthymia. Then things got messy. Unintentionally triggering friends. Fighting with parents about using medication. And what self-care looks like right now. Tanushree is a fellow mental health advocate in the South Asian community. She shares her experiences being forced into a psych ward and then learning how to manage her mental well-being. “When you talk about destigmatizing, you really have to talk about culture” - Tanushree ----Content Warning: suicidal ideations and self-harm Takeaways:Share about your mental health with others but also consider your audience and state of mind Your self-care routine can change just as you are changing every day You can choose not to share some things with your parents Prioritizing your time and energy is also a form of self-care Mentions & Resources:Kristy's psych ward story: Ep 2 & Ep 5Angie's 9-year-old suicidal story: Ep 3 & Ep 6Website: www.tdcpodcast.comFacebook: @thedesicondition Twitter: @tdcpodcast_Instagram: @thedesicondition Email: thedesicondition@gmail.comThe Desi Collaborative Did you enjoy this episode? The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble, we would love that too.---- Connect with us:Website: www.shitwedonttellmom.comSend us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.comSupport us: www.ko-fi.com/swdtm   ----Interested in creating your own podcast?We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too. Yes this is an affiliate link because we use them too. Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/swdtm)

Adult friendships. Confrontations. Empathy. Responsibilities. We confront our uncomfortable thoughts and compare our friendship and partnership to a romantic relationship. They talk about their mental health and how that has affected their time management and relationships.Takeaways:Having doubts about something does not mean you don't want itAdult friendships need maintenance and check-ins from both sidesHealthy friendships mean you can share uncomfortable feelings with each otherConsistency and kindness is more important than frequency and big gesturesLife gets in the way and friendships require managing expectationsMentions & Resources:How to be a Better FriendHow to Not Suck as a Friend — Communicate BetterWhy Friendships Are So Important for Health and Well-BeingMaking Good FriendsDid you enjoy this episode? The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble, we would love that too.---- Connect with us:Website: www.shitwedonttellmom.comSend us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.comSupport us with a bubble tea: www.ko-fi.com/swdtm   ----Interested in creating your own podcast?We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too. Yes this is an affiliate link because we use them too. Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/swdtm)

Self-shaming. Struggling relationship. Disappointing Chinese Christian parents. Lucas Ng, Canadian actor and co-host of “Have We Made It Yet” podcast, shares how he got fired from his job triggered a cascade of endless negative self-talk, thoughts of self-harm, and eventually going to therapy 5 years later. **Content Warning: Self Harm**Takeaways:Traumas can resurface years after they happenedCan't expect your partner to be your everything A constant need for control might actually be your own denial of your mental health struggles Talk with your younger self with compassion and love 20s is when you figure out who you are30s is when you figure out what you want Mentions & Resources:Lucas Ng InstagramHave We Made It Yet Podcast (Documenting experiences as new entertainers and artists looking to "make it" in the entertainment industry)Ep 27. Our Shit: Suicide Ideations and the Depression Roller Coaster The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble, we would love that too.---- Connect with us:Website: www.shitwedonttellmom.comSend us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.comSupport us with a bubble tea: www.ko-fi.com/swdtm   ----Interested in creating your own podcast?We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too. Yes, this is an affiliate link because we use them too. Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/swdtm)

IUDs. Sex during periods. Pain. Discomfort. The tampon tax and all the other costs associated with our menstrations. Kristy and Angie tackle some burning questions about the ever so enduring, unbelievably persistent, biological event we unwillingly go through - our periods. We hit up our male friends and asked them to tell us something they know about menstruation and then ask something they want to know about menstruation.Takeaways:We need men to do the work to normalize periods for everyonePeriods are expensive, and pads and tampons are just the tip of the icebergsSevere menstrual cramps is debilitating, physically and mentallyJust because we experience periods on a regular (or  not so regular) basis, does not dilute its severity or legitimacy Mentions & Resources:IUD Expulsion: is it as scary as it sounds?Intrauterine Devices (IUDs) Ovulation. Breastfeeding, and Being A Chinese Daughter ft. Georgie MahBuilding Resiliency and Tearing Down Facades ft. Steven NgoWhat is Dysmenorrhea?Effects of Premenstrual Symptoms on BipolarSocial Justice with Your Asian Parents ft. Irving Chong Did you enjoy this episode? The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble, we would love that too.---- Connect with us:Website: www.shitwedonttellmom.comSend us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.comSupport us with a bubble tea: www.ko-fi.com/swdtm   ----Interested in creating your own podcast?We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too. Yes this is an affiliate link because we use them too. Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/swdtm)

What is it like to date a narcissist? What happens when you get triggered by other people's breakup? Living with depression and bipolar, we sometimes wonder if we are the “bad” person in a relationship. So when a narcissist who seems like the “perfect” person comes along and gaslights you, you might end up believing them. Angie shares how she felt during her 6-year relationship with a narcissist and how she was triggered by a famous YouTube couple that recently broke up. Takeaway:Narcissistic people will always portray themselves as "perfect" so other ppl will be on their sideAlways go with your gut feelings; they're there to protect youYou can never fully judge the quality of someone else's relationship just by looking from the outsideLove bombing: when you're being showered with love and affection only to have the person stop so they can manipulate you with their "love". Trauma bonding: bonding over shared trauma without seeking other perspectives can be harmfulNarcissists use tactics to control you and their own image It's better to offer a friend perspectives rather than always agreeing with them Overanalyzing a situation can cause you more painMentions & Resources:Love Bombing - The Narcissist Abuse Cycle (blog)---The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy us a bubble tea, we would love that too.---- Tell us what shit YOU haven't told your mom and be featured on our next episode!  Website: www.shitwedonttellmom.comSend us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.comSupport us with a bubble tea: www.ko-fi.com/swdtm   ----Interested in creating your own podcast?We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too. Yes this is an affiliate link because we use them too. Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/swdtm)

Xixi Wang, founder of Asians for Sex Positivity, discusses what sex positivity means for Xixi and her relationship with her immigrant parents as a queer Asian. We discuss mental health stigma and finding gratitude for our parents as we get older.**CONTENT WARNING: Suicidal thoughts**   Takeaway:Sex positivity is not about whether sex is good nor bad, it is about owning your body and your choicesWe need to unlearn suppressing our emotional and mental health struggles just to avoid disappointing our parentsRelationships with parents are complicated because they are a source of trauma but they can also lead to recoveryForgiving our parents for unintentional trauma can come in baby stepsMentions & Resources:Asians for Sex Positivity (Instagram)Xixi Wang Artist (Instagram)8 Tips for Talking About Mental Health With Your Asian Family---The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble, we would love that too.---- Tell us what shit YOU haven't told your mom and be featured on our next episode!  Website: www.shitwedonttellmom.comSend us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.comBuy us a bubble tea: www.ko-fi.com/swdtm   ----Interested in creating your own podcast?We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too. Yes, this is an affiliate link because we use them too. Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/swdtm)

Kristy's move to a new city is not turning out to be the way she expected and she feels incredibly overwhelmed. She sits down with Angie to talk about her experience, and about coping mechanisms for anxiety and what helps us versus what prolongs the impact of it on our day-to-day life. Takeaway:Let yourself feel the physiological effects of anxiety rather than finding ways to suppress it because prolonged suppression of anxiety will magnify its impactBreaking down an overwhelming task into smaller items also applies to self-care and to mental health journeysIf you cannot sit with your anxiety, give yourself an action item to look forward to doing while you allow yourself the time to processAs cliche, as it is, talking to someone you trust about what you're going through helps not only your own emotional well-being, but also develops your relationshipsMentions & Resources:Beyond Happiness: The Upside of Feeling DownThe Positive Side to Your AnxietyHelpful vs Harmful: Ways to Manage Emotions---The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble, you would love that too.---- Tell us what shit YOU haven't told your mom and be featured on our next episode!  Website: www.shitwedonttellmom.comSend us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com----Interested in creating your own podcast?We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too. Yes this is an affiliate link because we use them too. Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/swdtm)

Kristy and Angie are back for a new season and they update everyone on what has been going on in their lives. Angie talks about (puppy) parenting guilt and Kristy talks about living her new life in another city. Angie reflects on a childhood incident that had impacted her deeply. Kristy reflects on pursuing an experience for herself and not for filial piety obligations. Content warning: Death, childhood traumaTakeaway:We begin to understand our parents more when we step into parental rolesWe are not responsible for the happiness of our parents and vice versaBeing forced to bring joy to the rest of the family suppresses other emotions and we end up equating our value with displaying feel good emotionsEmotional boundaries and codependency are a two way street and sometimes we forget that we also hold back our parents from living their best lifeDrawing boundaries with your parents will not dissolve your relationship with them, and might make it even betterMentions & Resources:Coping Parent GuiltMom Guilt: Causes & 10 Tips for OvercomingSew Koo: Scrunchies and masks by Natalie Koo---The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble, you would love that too.---- Tell us what shit YOU haven't told your mom and get featured on our next episode!  Website: www.shitwedonttellmom.comSend us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com----Interested in creating your own podcast?We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card and we get a little something too. Yes this is an affiliate link because we use them too. Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/swdtm)

Kristy and Angie record season two finale on IG live on the first anniversary of their Podcast. They go through the 36 Questions to Fall in Love questions to get to know each. Do they fall in love? Listen now to find out. Winky face.Content warning: child abuseHighlights:Kristy and Angie fall in love at question #22Kristy cries three times and Angie made her cry two of the timesKristy's experience running away from homeAngie's experience as a new immigrantFriendship means loyalty, trust, and healthy support Takeaway:Love and affection sustains life and it doesn't always have to be for othersForgiving our caregivers for their past mistakes allows us to move forwardIt's possible to repair your relationship with your Asian momNormalize uncomfortable conversations instead of causing indirect harm by shameIt's your own approach to your own mental health journey that will yield the result you wish forGrab someone and say five characteristics that you like about the other personMentions & Resources:36 Questions to Fall in LoveAngie's Medium: 36 Questions to Fall in Love----Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! The best way to support this show is by listening. So thank you---- Got a topic you want us to chat about? Have a question about mental health or adulting as an Asian American? Let us know!  Send us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com

Is there a gender difference in how we think about sex, cope with depression, and priorities in life? Stephen Yuan shares his thoughts on how he navigates a semi-open relationship, getting out of low points, and his fascination with studying porn. Stephen is a co-host on “Stories with Stephen Yuan” Podcast. This is an interesting episode because we don't always agree with each other in this conversation.  **Content Warning: Consensual rape porn is discussed**Highlights: How to deal with your Asian identity as an Asian ex-pat in China  Stephen's weirdest sexual fetish experience with a woman  Is there a gender difference in how we cope with depression?  What separates love from sex? How internet porn has affected millennial men and women  Takeaways:We don't need to force our own coping mechanisms onto othersYou can be clear and upfront about what you want and not be an asshole at the same time  We often shame and judge people based on their life choices, sexual preference, relationship style, careers etc. This hurts us all.  Respect each other's choicesTherapy helps you recognize and process emotions instead of pretending they're not there  Recognize your every day wins    It's okay for men to "not be in the mood" as well  Mentions & Resources: Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities by. Dossie Easton & Catherine A. Liszt (Book) ----Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! The best way to support this show is by listening. So thank you ---- Got a topic you want us to chat about? Have a question about mental health or adulting as an Asian American? Let us know!  Send us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com

We sat down with a much-admired community leader, Steve Ngo, a lawyer, social entrepreneur, husband, son, and dear friend. Steve describes a low point in his life and reveals his story of coming around in a full circle, from jet-setting, big-law life to a humble counsel in his hometown serving his community.Highlights:Steve's encounter with hate crime against Asians during the COVD-19 pandemicHow Steve's burnout led to him creating a space for mental health awareness in the legal professionAngie's rant about how self-help books need a rebrandSteve's relationship strategy on avoiding fights and focusing on each other's strengthSteve growing up poor, achieved external success, but ultimately came back to serve the communityTakeaways:We all have a facade, but it's not fake, it's one of many parts of who we arePersonal development and growth keeps us at an advantageThe darkest moments are when you and your partner learn the most about each otherUnlearn the implicit communication style of our upbringing Keep the friends that bring you energy. Do the things that bring you energy.Mentions & Resources:Asian-Canadian Community Tackle Hate Crime ReportingVPD adds forms in various languages for reporting anti-Asian racismFix Police Reporting (Removing barriers to report anti-Asian hate crimes)Beyond the ALiving Room Series Global----Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! The best way to support this show is by listening. So thank you---- Got a topic you want us to chat about? Have a question about mental health or adulting as an Asian American? Let us know!  Send us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com

What is it like to have suicidal ideations? Kristy relapsed into depression and none of her usual depression management strategies worked. We talk about her obsessive behaviour to escape reality, using hentai to boost serotonin, different methods of seeking help, and taking medical leave to improve her mental health. **CONTENT WARNING: Suicide**   Highlights:Obsession with the Hunger Games trilogy as a means to escape reality Obsession with hentai to trigger serotonin and endorphins  Thinking about death when waiting for egg tarts  Separating between yourself from the illness (depression)  How Kristy travels the world during a global pandemic  Takeaways:You're the only person to advocate for your health  The privilege we have is external, what we do with that privilege is internal   If the 1st few healthcare professionals didn't work out, don't give up on seeking help  Let go of expectations for tomorrow; just be where you are today  Vocalizing your depression can be liberating and validates your pain  Not everyone has the capacity to support your mental health journey, but it doesn't mean no one can  Free Resources:Bounce Back Program for Anxiety & Depression (BC residents)  MindShift CBT App by Anxiety Canada  Anxiety Canada - Instant resources  VCH Access & Assessment Centre  Virtual family physicians (Maple, Babylon, Access Virtual) Chinese Mental Health Resources (Greater Vancouver) Asian Mental Health Resources (US/Canada) Crisis Service CanadaSuicide Prevention LifelineCrisis Helpline (Canada):  1-833-456-4566Suicide Helpline (USA): 1-800-273-8255----Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! The best way to support this show is by listening. So thank you---- Got a topic you want us to chat about? Have a question about mental health or adulting as an Asian American? Let us know!  Send us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com

The lack of male role models in Lisa's childhood led her to use sexuality to get men's attention. Her mom physically abused her and they have a complicatedly civil relationship. We talk about forgiveness, coming to terms with childhood abuse, and her view on sex.   WARNING: detailed descriptions about childhood physical abuse, child death, and sexual abuse Highlights:  How to listen to yourself vs listening to others  Unlearning being a people pleaser   Chasing boys to feel loved   Using my sexuality to get what I was lacking   Why constant positivity can be toxic   Forgiving mom for being physically abusive   Takeaways:  We don't always have to hustle all the f.ing time  Unlearn the standard definition of success and let that shit go    Forgiving someone is more for yourself than for the other person  Episode Mention:9. Depression, Distractions, and Dopamine Enjoyed this episode? Share it with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. ---- What cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics do you want to listen to? Send us a message or ask a question we could answer in our next episode. Send us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com

Kristy and Angie answer two questions: What are some shit that our kids might not tell us? And what are our Myer-Briggs personalities? Not surprisingly, we get raw and vulnerable debating whether we should have kids and what that might be like.Highlights:Angie is no longer pressuring herself to have kidsKristy is more open to the idea of having kidsFear of passing down traits like codependency or mental illnesses Fear of becoming more and more like your parentTakeaways:We all have a fear of passing down traits, nature or nurture, to our kidsAwareness and communication can reduce self-fulfilling propheciesWe can't control our kids and we can only lead by exampleTo be a good mother is to know that you cannot be a perfect motherResources:16 Personalities - Myers Briggs Personality TestEnjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. ---- What cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics do you want to listen to? Send us a message or ask a question we could answer on our next episode. Send us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com

Kelli Chu survived a traumatic car accident from a drunk driver. She opens up about the regrets, the dark places, and what she hasn't told her mom about from the incident. And of course, there's still the everyday struggles for women in their 30s: career, marriage, and kids.Highlights:Kelli's story of how she almost had her hand amputated How to forgive the person who caused you trauma Being afraid to tell your family what haunts youInternal conflicts about the master timeline for Chinese women  How the relationship with our parents influences us more than we thinkTakeaways:Live life day by day because sometimes, there's just no better option We don't always have the answersRegret holds you back; it keeps you in the pastNo matter what your relationship is like with your mom, it will still influence youResources:Living After Surviving (Blog)@itskellichu (Instagram)Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment or review and let us know your favourite episode!---- What cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics do you want to listen to? Send us a message or ask a question we could answer on our next episode. Send us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com

2 Asian men get vulnerable with us and share their fears, shames, and insecurities.  Lance Gee and Eric Wu from over at Off The Wok discuss losing a job, feeling suicidal, de-sexualization of Asian men, and starting all over from failures. Check out this hilarious episode that takes a turn for a deep dive into the Asian male psyche as Lance and Eric get super vulnerable with us. Content warning: suicide Highlights:Going back to school and restarting a career with a familyEric's fear of water (what?) but he takes showers every dayLosing your job as the “man” of the familyAsian male representation in media Lance and Eric overcoming the lowest points of their lives Takeaways:The shame comes from comparisons and it ruins usOur judgements of others are projections of our own insecuritiesPeople don't give a crap, so give a crap about yourselfProvide non-judgmental support and a safe space for the men in your lifeEveryone's low point is different but they are all painful and validResources:Off The Wok (Podcast)Off The Wok (Instagram)Why I'm Done Trying to Be “Man Enough” (Ted Talk)Crisis Centre Helpline (Canada)Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA)Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment or review and let us know your favourite episode!---- Tell Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you want to listen to!Email us, DM, or Record a 60-second voice message. Send us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com

Irving Chong from Asians in Space joins us to share his experience growing up in Alberta, Canada as one of the few Asian kids in the neighbourhood. We discuss what a “rotten banana” is, growing up inside a bubble, shaming people in “doing the right thing”, and how we can talk about social justice with our Chinese parents.Highlights:What does it mean to be an Asian Canadian Millennial? Growing up as a Chinese Kid who loved Black culture in a White conservative cityWhat is the role of social media activism?Angie feeling ashamed of liking hip hop music How the Chinese cultural revolution affects the way we communicate with our parents about social justice Takeaways:Culture and identity is less about where you are from and more about where you belongBe curious about why someone else might think differently from you It takes multiple conversations to get through the cultural (and maybe language) barriers Bring kindness, compassion, and patience into any conversationThe point isn't for your parents to agree, it's for your parents to understand your perspectives and for you to know theirs tooResources:Asians in Space (Podcast)The Asn Canadian (Instagram)Fresh Off The Boat by Eddie Huang (Book)For the Culture by Irving Chong (Paper on What it means to be an Asian Canadian Millennial)Unlocking Us: Shame & Accountability by Brene Brown (Podcast)Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment and let us know your favourite episode!---- Tell Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you want to listen to!Email us, DM, or Record a 60-second voice message. Send us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com

Natalie from Yellow Bee Pod joins us to share her experience transitioning out of her civil engineering job to an outspoken supporter of Asian identity and women in STEM. We talk about what our parents' expectations of us are growing up, our own expectations of what our life will look like, and how those expectations have changed as we approach milestones in our adulthood.Highlights:Natalie kept her new job secret for six months before telling her momKeeping your career plans to yourselves because it's easier than explaining it to your immigrant parentsWhat we thought being an adult would be like versus what it's actually likeWhat emigrating was like for our moms when they were youngWe open up a safe space to discuss what we know and what we should know about Asian incelsTakeaways:Turning away from the expectations of your parents can happen at any time in your lifeOur parents never had a open-communication relationship with their parents, so it's up to us to initiate that as our generation's contributionGood grades, good university, and good job does not always equal happily ever afterOur immigrant parents craved stability but did not have it and now they want that stability for usMedian warps representation of all groups, whether it's religion, incels, or our own communitiesResources:Natalie's Yellow Bee PodYellow Bee Pod (Instagram)Rice to Meet You Pod with Evelyn Mok and Nigel Ng (Instagram)Never Have I Ever (Netflix)To All the Boys I've Loved BeforeAsian America: The Ken Fong PodcastEnjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment or review and let us know your favourite episode!---- Tell Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you want to listen to!Email us, DM, or Record a 60-second voice message. Send us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com

What is bipolar disorder, what does it mean, and who has it? Do you think someone you care about might be bipolar? In this episode, your hosts Kristy and Angie sit down to finally talk about a long-awaited topic: Angie's bipolar disorder. Content warning: mania, depression, suicide.    Highlights:We take a stab at defining bipolar disordersHow bipolar disorders are classifiedHow to help yourself when diagnosed with something unfamiliarThe stigmatization and misrepresentation of bipolar disorderHow to call out someone who is being an asshole   Takeaways:Bipolar depression, like unipolar depression, is a mood disorderMedication is here to help, not to stigmatizeSleep is very f*cking important!A successful relationship (bipolar or not) needs communication!Counsellor: RMT, Psychologist: Physio, Psychiatrist: Physician   Resources:BP Hope - Hope and Harmony for People with BipolarHow Manic Depression Became Bipolar DisorderThe History of Bipolar Disorder   Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment and let us know your favourite episode!   ----    Tell Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you want to listen to!   Email us, DM, or Record a 60-second voice message. Send us an audio message by clicking here!   Instagram @shitwedonttellmom    Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com

Instructions on how to be an adult and live happily ever after. Do you want one? What if we were already given one but we just don't like what is written? In this episode, Angela Kim from The Why Moments Podcast discusses the internal and external pressures of marriage, to have or not have kids, going to therapy, and how to tell all this to your Asian family. Content warning: suicide. Highlights:Why we confirm and more importantly, what happens when we don'tHow to tell your Asian parents you're not ready for marriageWhat is it like being the black sheep of a Korean Christian Family?Telling mom about therapy and having panic attacks Takeaways:Parents can equate their self-worth based on how their children are performing. This is not your responsibility to upkeep.If you want to dance, cry, laugh in public… just do it! The next person will be encouraged by you and we can all be a little more authentic with our emotionsYou're damned if you do and damned if you don't so you might as well do and live life to your own values You don't need to have something “wrong” in your life to go to therapyResources:The Why Moments Podcast w. Angela KimThe Why Moments (Instagram)Living Room Series (Community Group) Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment and let us know your favourite episode!---- Tell Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you want to listen to! Email us, DM, or Record a 60-second voice message. Send us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com

How did you learn about sex? Did you have sex first or masturbate first? Did you ever get the “sex talk” from your parents/guardians? This is a special episode where Karen from MX Asian American Podcast interviews us about our sexual awakening, what is sexual consent, and how we learned to have sex.Highlights: When Karen walked in on her parents having sex  Kristy's first time using a vibrator  Angie's first time watching porn  What happened when Kristy & Angie got the “sex talk” from our moms   How sex ed has changed from Millennials to Gen Zs  Why is masturbation so embarrassing to talk about   Takeaways:  Masturbation can be super empowering   Sexual consent is needed   Trying to mimic porn is not a good idea   Sex education should also include positive connotations such as how sex feels and exploring emotional connections with partners  Resources:  MX Asian American (Podcast)Yaoi Manga (Gay Manga)Chanel Miller (Website)Me Too Movement (Website)Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment and let us know your favourite episode!---- Tell Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you want to listen to! Email us, DM, or Record a 60-second voice message. Send us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com

How are our sexual identities formed? Is it from the media that we consume like magazines and porn? And how do we go about unlearning the dysfunctional and destructive ideas around sexuality and body image? **Content Warning**: anorexia nervosa and behaviours of disordered eating is discussed in this episode.   Highlights:Learning about sex from magazines and pornTrauma from parents who enforce gender rolesKaren's journey in accepting her queer identityReligious beliefs and how they influence sexual taboosInheriting body dysmorphia   Takeaways:Closed-mindedness can hurt your loved onesInternalized homophobia can develop from parental pressureThere are resources out there other than mainstream pornDifferent people want different experiences, there is no one size fits allYou don't need a diagnosis to improve your mental health   Resources:Mx Asian American on InstagramMatt D'Avella on YoutubeChester 5000 XYV (NSFW)Curvy (NSFW)Strictly Dumpling (Mike Chen)Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment and let us know your favourite episode!---- Tell Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you want to listen to!Email us, DM, or Record a 60-second voice message. Send us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com

Sex is everywhere but it is also taboo. Why? And how can we overcome this shyness around sex so we can embrace our own sexuality? **Content Warning**: criminalized sex is discussed in this episode .Highlights: Why is Sex Taboo?How do we define sex? What happens when we feel pressured to be a sexy Have confidence and self-esteem in bed What Angie needs to have an orgasmTakeaway: Physical intimacy does not equal emotional intimacyBe okay with where you are at in your sexual self-discoveryTell your partner what you want in bed Let's change our definition of sex as a society by not trying to define sex for everybody. It's different Resources:Reddit: How come sex and sexuality is taboo...Psychology Today: Why is Sex Taboo?The Maudern: Why is Sex Still Taboo?The Ripper (Docu-series)The Imitation Game (Movie)Ethical Slut (Book)OMGYes.comEpisodes mentioned:Ep.12: Codependency and Intergenerational Trauma ft. William ShawEp.15: Flatulence, Love, and DiscomfortFellow Nominees for “Best Wellness Podcast” Asian Podcast Awards 2020:Colors of SuccessThrive + ThreadEnjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment and let us know your favourite episode!---- Tell Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you want to listen to!Email us, DM, or Record a 60-second voice message. Send us an audio message by clicking here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com 

Kristy and Angie get together (virtually) to wrap up Season 1 by answer questions from our listeners and Season 1 guests. We discuss public flatulence, how we came up with our name, and most importantly, being true to ourselves as we pursue our passion project of creating this podcast we have grown to love. We share what we have learned and we share our gratitude for each other and for how much we have been able to accomplish so far in this journey. Thank you, listeners! We cannot do this without you. See you in 2021!Takeaway: Once you fart, you can never be apartWorking with someone very different can be incredibly rewarding as long as there is mutual respectBeing at peace means accepting yourself for who you areEveryone's travelling style is different, do what makes you happy, just like lifeLiking yourself for liking the things that you likeResources:Graze Studio (Instagram)Alan Watts (Website)Episodes mentioned:Episode 1: What Is Our Shit?Episode 10: The  F(ailure) Word ft. Calven WangEpisode 12: Codependency and Intergenerational Trauma ft. William ShawEpisode 13: Desire, Dreams, and DiariesEpisode 14: Ovulation, Breastfeeding, and Being A Chinese Daughter ft. Georgie MaEnjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment and let us know your favourite episode!-----Tell Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you want to listen to!Email us, DM, or Record a 60-second voice message. Tell us your thoughts, comments, or send questions you have for us. Drop your love here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com 

The pressure is real when it comes to having kids. Georgie Ma from Chinese Chippy Girl Podcast talks about growing up as the only Chinese person in school and how it has shaped her to be the mother she is. We discuss the struggles of conceiving a baby, being jealous when friends get pregnant, breastfeeding norms in society, growing up as Chinese immigrant daughters, and the preference for boys over girls in the common Asian household. Regardless if you want kids or not, this episode explores the joys and challenges of motherhood for Asian millennial women. And we talk about sex. Takeaway: Turning 30 means you are reborn again. You start from zero.Be considerate when we asking others if they want to have kids Society is telling you your eggs are expiring, but what matters is what you tell yourselfIf you see something is wrong, speak up - even if you might be wrongResources:Chinese Chippy Girl (Instagram)Chinese Chippy Girl Podcast by Georgie MaOne Sky Organization (Website)Episodes mentioned:Episode 1: What Is Our Shit?Episode 2: Meet Kristy at Baggage ClaimEpisode 3: Meet Angie at Baggage Claim Episode 5: Give Kristy the DEpisode 6: Give Angie the D Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment and let us know your favourite episode!-----Tell Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you want to listen to!Email us, DM, or Record a 60-second voice message. Tell us your thoughts, comments, or send questions you have for us. Drop your love here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com  

Angie & Kristy read each other's diaries on the internet. We discuss what is desire, Angie's dating life, workplace anxiety, murderous dreams, emotional boundaries/dependency, Kristy turns 30, and the signs of old age. We get real vulnerable in this one. **Content warning: suicide, killing/murder, and body size and weight. **    Takeaway:    Focusing too much on another person is a type of self-abandonment   You have to unconditionally love yourself before you can unconditionally love someone else  You don't need to date to feel worthy  Comfort eating is okay, but it shouldn't be the only tool in your toolbox When you're almost 30, there is always at least 3 body parts that hurt   Working on yourself is a forever thing    Resources: Angie's Medium Page The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath  Enjoyed this episode? Share it with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes and leave us a comment so we know you're out there :) ---- Let Kristy & Angie know what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! Record a 60-second voice message and share your thoughts, comments, or questions. Drop your love here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com 

Our new friend Will share's his childhood experience growing up biracial in the deep south. We discuss codependency, people-pleasing tendencies, team cat vs team dog, and cutting toxic parental figures out of our lives for the sake of our own mental health. Highlights:What does it actually mean to be codependent?Are you team dog or team cat? Will speaks about what it's like growing up biracial in the deep southGrowing up with a parent who never healed themselves Takeaways:We all get our shit together at a different paceHaving codependent habits doesn't mean you can't break themYou can grieve a parent but also feel relieved that the toxicity is gone The bonds you choose to hold on to can mean more than the ones you were born withEnjoyed this episode? Share with a friend who might benefit! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes and leave us a comment so we know what you love about the show!---- Let Kristy & Angie know what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! Record us a 60-second voice message and share with us your thoughts, comments, or questions. Drop your love here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com 

How do we find fulfillment in our day-to-day jobs? In this episode, Kristy and Angie talk about the career fog that many of us Millennials are trying to find a way out of as we grapple with imposter syndrome, quarter-life crisis, and the crippling fear of failure and social rejection. Added bonus of some ASMR and coochie-cleaning hacks.Highlights: Kristy attempts at SWDTM ASMR editionImposter syndrome and chasing the non-existent “perfect job”Cyber-toothed tiger and fear of social rejectionNietschze and eat your fucking chips!Angie role plays with KristyTakeaway: There is no perfect job and we need to look at both extern and internal factors to our dissatisfaction Check in on yourself when you're judging yourself and othersWe can't control our feelings, but we can control our thoughtsWork through the fear; practice exposure scenarios with friends and start smallResources:The Imposter Syndrome (Video)Philosophize This! (Podcast)Angie's Medium piece on life's checklist (Article)Exposure Therapy for Anxiety (Article)Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend who might benefit! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes and leave us a comment so we know what you love about the show!---- Let Kristy & Angie know what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! Record us a 60-second voice message and share with us your thoughts, comments, or questions. Drop your love here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com 

Failure: the word we have learned to fear in an Asian household. In this episode, Calven Wang joins us with his perspective on how to overcome the fear of failure, relationship advice for singles, and how we can improve ourselves. He's also got this bomb ass relationship with his mom that involves hugging. Highlights: First break up with a girlfriend The pressures from family to “be someone”From 1.49 GPA to being a TA Being jealous in a relationshipTakeaway: There is a difference between seeking comfort and seeking improvementGet life advice from people who don't know you very well Many relationship issues can be resolved by bettering yourself Unload your shit with different people rather than the same select fewEnjoyed this episode? Share with a friend who might benefit! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes and leave us a comment so we know what you love about the show!---- Let Kristy & Angie know what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! Record us a 60-second voice message and share with us your thoughts, comments, or questions. Drop your love here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com 

This episode is all about our current struggles with depression - so it's a long one! We start the episode by talking about when we were both struggling with a low point two months ago and then dive into talking about possible methods of helping ourselves out of these low points and understanding the different drivers that keep us going.Highlights: Is it possible to have TOO many plants as a millennial plant mama?Changing external factors like our environment and the way we look to deal with how we feel internally is only temporaryKristy likes to make a man shape with her fingersOxytocin, the "love hormone" and dopamine, "the achievement hormone"Angie swears to god she's not highTakeaway: Talking to someone you trust, even for a little bit, can give you the boost you need to come out of the dark trenches If it's too difficult to journal, send voice notes to yourself or someone you trust if it's something you are comfortable to shareIt's not always obvious that we're depressed, and sometimes it becomes more obvious to others than yourself, but it's okay. Take the time to understand your own cycles and processResources:The 3 Emotion Regulation Systems (Coping Systems) (Article)Oxytocin and long term relationships (Article)Oxytocin and female orgasms (Article)Master Your Emotions by Thibaut Meurisse (Book)Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend who might benefit! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes and leave us a comment so we know what you love about the show!---- Let Kristy & Angie know what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! Record us a 60-second voice message and share with us your thoughts, comments, or questions. Drop your love here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com 

This episode is all about our Chinese moms: their stories, our mother-daughter relationships, and the ever uncomfortable shit when we try to talk with them. Highlights:  Angie reconciles the disrespect she had for her parents  Kristy shares her mom's story about coming to Canada Physical vs Emotional boundaries with our mothers  Short term vs. long term pain in relationships Our moms are having more sex than we are  Takeaway:  Physical boundaries can be very helpful in maintaining healthy relationships. But it's also an easy way to avoid having uncomfortable talks about emotional boundaries. It's time to get uncomfortable. Concepts of filial piety are more universal than we may think. If you have the privilege, ask your family about their immigration story.  Sometimes we just need to rip the bandaid off. Which area in life are you using a bandaid? Go on a friend date with your mom. Resources:  Twitter: Tony Lin @tony_zy   All Is Well (TV Drama) The Empty Nest Companion by Susan Gross and Briget Bishop (Book)The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan (Book)  What is Reparenting and How To Begin (Article) Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend who might benefit! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes and leave us a comment so we know what you love about the show!---- Let Kristy & Angie know what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! Record us a 60-second voice message and share with us your thoughts, comments, or questions. Drop your love here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com 

Chop Suey literally translates to “random pieces” in Cantonese. In this episode, Kristy & Angie cook up some chop suey of random shit including filial piety, Chinese Canadian history, and Asian representation in the BLM movement. Of course, there's some Harry Potter and astrology goodness as well.  Highlights:  What does it mean to “be present”  China is basically Westeros  Juneteenth March 2020  Defining confirmation bias Old vs. New Chinese immigrants  Which Pottermore houses are Kristy & Angie in  Takeaway:  If stories are not shared, they will be lost forever  Everything we know - labels, stereotypes, astrology, even science - that is all human conjecture  Our everyday action will determine if we progress or regress as a society  Resources: (There may be affiliate links. We may make a small commission at no cost to you) IG: @blackvancouver Chop Suey Nation by Ann Hui (Book)Let Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! Record us a 60-second voice message and share with us your thoughts, comments, or questions. Drop your love here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com 

It's not what you think..or is it? It's Angie's turn to talk about her spiral down to depression, her diagnosis thereafter and her journey of revealing her condition to her mom. We explore how prevailing stigmas against mood disorders and medication had inhibited her from seeking help earlier. Highlights: Kristy and Angie are geniuses and did not read the manualWhy do we succumb to the stigmas of mental health and hurt ourselves in that process?Finding out decades later that you are genetically predisposed to having depression and anxietyLeaky holesTakeaway:Mental health is just as important as physical health, and needs to be treated as suchCommunication with your family is important if there is a history of mental health challengesBeing diagnosed with depression is not a death sentence; you can still lead a very meaningful, good lifeAccepting your depression and learning to manage it is like taking back the control of your own shipResources:IG: @lrsglobalLet Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! Record us a 60-second voice message and share with us your thoughts, comments, or questions. Drop your love here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com 

Kristy talks about her diagnosis with depression and anxiety at age 12 as well as what happened after she got discharged from the psych ward. We explore how her first encounter with mental health professionals has changed the way she views the healthcare and public school system in the 00s compared to what it is like today.  Highlights:  Kristy's genius idea and how well it worked out  What does it mean to be labeled a “troubled kid” in the school system Sharing the same psychiatrist as your dad Takeaway: Labels do not define you. Neither does your diagnosis You don't need to have a full-blown anxiety attack before seeking mental health support  Mental health symptoms often start small and unrecognized  Toxic masculinity is a huge disadvantage for boys/men. It blinds everyone from noticing mental health symptoms  Let Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! Record us a 60-second voice message and share with us your thoughts, comments, or questions. Drop your love here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com 

Kristy and Angie discuss the pervasive anti-black racism in society and in the Asian-diaspora community. We throw away our original episode 4 plans to talk about and sit with a heavy subject that brings us a lot of discomfort. Highlights: Outdated stereotypes about the black community and in our own community Reading lyrics from Akala, a British rapper, journalist, author, activist and poet Going to Vancouver's downtown eastside to retrieve a phone Takeaway: Violence is not the root of racism, it's a symptom of a system that needs to change We may not eradicate racism in our lifetime but we can accept that we are all racist and confront our own implicit biases as a step in the right direction Talk through your discomfort around difficult subjects with friends and family members to grow together Resources: What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege (Article)Letters For Black Lives (Website)Let Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! Record us a 60-second voice message and share with us your thoughts, comments, or questions. Drop your love here!Instagram @shitwedonttellmom Email: shitwedonttellmom@gmail.com