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You can listen wherever you get your podcasts, OR— BRAND NEW: we've included a fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I do a coaching call with Joanna who has a 2-year-old and a 7-year-old. We cover how to make mindset shifts so you can better show up for your kids, as well as get into specifics around night weaning, bedtime battles, handling meltdowns, playful parenting and increasing our connection to our kids.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this post? Share it with them!We talk about:* 6:40 how to manage meltdowns* 9:00 Night weaning and bedtime challenges* 20:00 Emptying a full emotional backpack* 26:00 Kids who always want more attention* 28:00 Understanding blame and anger* 38:00 Games to play when a child is looking for more power* 44:00 How our mindset makes such a big difference when parenting* 47:30 Two keys to peaceful parenting!* 55:00 Playful approaches to bedtimeResources mentioned in this episode:* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* How to Help Our Little Ones Sleep with Kim Hawley * Episode 100: When Your Child Has a Preferred Parent (or Not) with Sarah and Corey * Episode 103: Playful Parenting with Lawrence Cohen * Playful Heart Parenting with Mia Wisinski: Episode 186 xx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! 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No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HERETranscript:Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's episode is a coaching episode. My guest is Joanna, mom of a 7-year-old and a 2-year-old. Joanna's 7-year-old is an intense child, and she wanted to know how to handle her big feelings and find more connection with her.She also had some specific challenges around bedtime, namely that her partner works shift work and is not home at bedtime. She still breastfeeds her 2-year-old to sleep, so is unavailable to her seven-year-old for a bit, and then has trouble getting her seven-year-old to bed without a fight. Joanna also shared how low she was on resources, and we had a great discussion about how that impacts her parenting and what she might do about it.Also, meltdowns—we talked about those too and how to respond. I know Joanne is not alone. One note: after we did the follow-up call, I realized I forgot to ask her about a few things. So she kindly recorded a couple of P.S.'s that I'll include. If you're curious, like I am, you'll be glad she gave us the latest updates.If you would like to come on the podcast and be coached by me, I am looking for a few parents who are interested. You can email me at sarah@sarahrosensweet.com.As always, please give us a five-star rating and a review on your favorite podcast app, and if you know another parent or caregiver that this would be helpful for, please screenshot it and send it to them. The best way to reach more families with peaceful parenting is through word of mouth, so we really appreciate any shares that you might be able to give us.Okay. Let's meet Joanna. Okay.Sarah: Hi Joanna. Welcome to the podcast.Joanna: Hi. Thanks for having me.Sarah: Tell me a little bit about yourself.Joanna: Sure. I live up in Ottawa, Canada, with my husband and my two kids. I'm a music therapist, so right now I'm working with babies. I teach Yoga with Baby and, um, a class called Sing and Sign at a local wellness center.Sarah: Nice. How old are—Joanna: Yes, I have a 7-year-old girl who we'll call Jay.Sarah: Okay.Joanna: And then a 2-year-old boy called JR.Sarah: JJ. Okay, perfect. Okay, so how can I support you today?Joanna: Yeah, so my daughter has always been, like, a bit of a tricky one. Um. She was born premature, so at 29 weeks. And no kind of lasting effects. But as she's gotten older, we've noticed, like, she's really struggled a lot with emotional regulation. Um, and she kind of gets stuck on certain behaviors. So I feel like we've done a lot to change our parenting, in part thanks to you and your podcast and all the material. Um, I did finally read, um, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids this past summer.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: And I feel like it also had a huge effect, just having, like, that bigger scope of understanding of, like, the peaceful parenting philosophy.Sarah: Uh-huh.Joanna: So I would say, like, even from where we were a few months ago, we've experienced tons of positive shifts with her.Sarah: Sweet.Joanna: Yeah, so we're already kind of well on our way, but there are certain behaviors that she has that still I find really perplexing. So I wondered if maybe we could go over a couple of them.Sarah: Sure. Yeah, no problem. For anyone—if, for anyone who doesn't know, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids is the book written by my mentor, who I trained with, Dr. Laura Markham. Um, and just for my own curiosity, what do you think? Because, you know, I always worry that people are—that they don't have the fully formed idea of peaceful parenting. And that—and I'm not saying you, because you've listened to the podcast so you probably have a deeper understanding—but some people are just getting their little snippets on Instagram reels, you know, and so it is hard to understand, like, the, the sort of the core reasons why we do the approach if you don't have that deeper understanding. And also, I'm working on a book right now, so hopefully soon you'll be able to say you read my book. But what did you—what do you feel like got fleshed out for you when you read that book?Joanna: I think she really breaks a lot of things down step by step, such as, like, what to do when your child is going through a meltdown.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: And that has always been an area—like, when my daughter gets to that point where she's, like, become really explosive and aggressive and she's just, like, in it and she's kind of unreachable at that moment—like, what to do step by step at that time. I think, like, that's been the most helpful because I've been able to really settle into my own parenting and just, like, really trust myself and anchor in at that point, which is exactly really what she needs and what was missing.Sarah: Yeah. Yeah.Joanna: So—Sarah: So I think, um—like I always say, focus on regulating yourself first. Like, when someone's having a meltdown, empathize.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: Um, you know, it—yeah, it's—it can be hard because you often feel like you need to do something. And even though you're saying step by step, it's less about doing anything than just centering yourself, staying calm yourself, trying to get in touch with the compassion and empathy even if you're not—some pe—some parents say, “Oh, well, when I try to say anything, then my kid just screams more.” So sometimes it's just empathize—like, getting connected in your own heart to the empathy and compassion, even if you're not saying anything—and that, that does something.Joanna: Absolutely it does. Yeah.Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: Yeah, so that's all been really helpful. Now, in—in terms of emotional regulation, I do definitely think that that's the biggest piece.Sarah: Okay.Joanna: Uh, it's been the biggest piece for me and sort of, like, one of the big things that I wanted to talk to you about today is we are still really not getting sleep because my 2-year-old is not a good sleeper and has never been a good sleeper. And we've gone through periods where I'm like, okay, now he's only waking up, like, twice a night, and that feels manageable. Um, but he's kind of been back to waking up, like, three to six times a night again, which is so hard. And then my husband's very supportive; however, he works afternoons, so he's gone from about 3:00 PM to 1:00 AM, so he needs to be able to sleep until about eight, which means I'm up with my son between six and seven. My daughter gets up for school around 7:30, so that's, like, a tricky time of day because she's really quite grumpy in the morning. He's not—the toddler's really, like, kind of a totally different temperament. But, like, I'm tired after struggling with, like, night wakings all night. And then I'm with the kids from the time that she gets home from school, um, and then doing both bedtimes myself.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: Um, so there's a lot of time where, like, I am solo parenting, and I'm definitely, like, the preferred parent. Um, and both my kids really want me and need me at bedtime. So he is still nursing—like, I'm nursing to sleep and then nursing during the night. And I know that that's probably contributing a lot to all the night wakings. So, I guess my question is, like, I am at the point where I am ready to night-wean. I probably should have done it already, but—Sarah: Don't say “should have.” Like, it's—if you're not ready to make that change, like, in your heart, it's really torturous to try to—try to, like, not—so say you decide you want to night-wean, but you weren't really ready to do it. It would be so painful for you to deny your son nursing in the night if you were—if you didn't feel in your heart, like, “No, this is the right thing to do. I'm totally ready. I think he's ready.” So, so I think waiting until you're really, like, actually, yes, “I'm done with this,” is a smart thing. Yeah. So don't beat yourself up for not having done it already. But you're right, it probably does contribute to him waking up in the night.Joanna: Yeah. And, um, I do feel like I—I'm ready. I just—I'm not quite sure how to make that shift. So what generally happens is, like, we have some, like, virtual babysitting going on with my mom, where, like, when I nurse my son to sleep, which generally takes, like, between maybe 30 and 45 minutes, she'll, like, sit with her and do a workbook. So we'll have, like, a video chat, and then after—Sarah: Yeah, it's great.Joanna: So then after, um, I'm with her to get her ready for bed, and that oftentimes looks like a lot of, like, dragging heels on, like, “Oh, I want another snack,” and “I wanna, like, brush my teeth,” and “Whatever—don't wanna brush my teeth.” So, um, then that ends up taking usually about an hour, but we both sort of have, like, this expiration at about 9:00 PM, where, like, she just gets so dysregulated because she's so tired.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: So if I don't have her in bed at that point and, like, already kind of with the lights out, there's often just, like, a meltdown and some—like, she'll start calling me names and start, like, you know, throwing stuff down at me and whatnot. And then I'm just really tired by that point too. Yeah. So we can kind of joke around about it now—like, nine o'clock is the time where we're, like, where we both expire. So I'm trying to figure out, like, how can I night-wean? Because I know that that is supposed to start with, like, him being able to fall asleep by himself at the beginning of the night, so—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: Slowly phasing that out and laying with him. I know it's gonna probably take a lot longer in the beginning, so I'm just a little worried that, like, maybe if it takes, like, an hour, an hour and a half, then all of a sudden she's kind of, like, left hanging and it's getting later and her bedtime's being pushed back.Sarah: Are there any—are there any nights that your partner is home at bedtime?Joanna: There's two—Sarah: nights that—Joanna: he—Sarah: is,Joanna: yeah.Sarah: Yeah. I mean, I guess I would start with those nights.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: Yeah. Start with those nights. And—and when was your son's birthday? Like, like how—two—is he—Joanna: He just turned two, like, two weeks ago.Sarah: Okay. So, I mean, I think I would start with trying to just practice, you know, nursing him and maybe nursing him somewhere else and then bringing him back, you know, and then putting him in—are you co-sleeping?Joanna: Sleep—yeah. Well, I put him—like, I generally nurse him to sleep. He has a floor bed in his room, and then I go to bed in my own room, and then at his first wake, then I go back in, and I just stay there for the room—the rest of the night from that point.Sarah: Right, right. So I, I guess I would try just, like, nursing him and trying to, like, pat his back and sing to him and, you know, tell him that—that he can have—I, I mean, what we did was, “You can have milk in the morning,” you know, “You could have it when it's light.” I remember my oldest son—when he—it took him a couple of days—and if you wanna hear the whole story of my failed night-weaning with my second son, it was in a podcast that we did about infant and toddler sleep, uh, with Kim.Joanna: Yeah, Kim?Sarah: Yes. So you could listen to that if you haven't heard that already. But my second—my first son was super easy to night-wean, and a couple of—it was, like, a couple of nights of a little bit of crying, and he would just say, “Make it light, Mama. Make it light,” because he wanted—I said, “You can nurse when it's light.” But, you know, I, I, I don't wanna get into that whole big thing on this podcast because—mm-hmm—just because I've already talked about it. But if you wanna listen to that, and if you have any questions when we do our follow-up, you can, uh, you can ask me. But, you know, I would just try, you know, talking to him about, then, you know, “You can have Milky in the morning,” or whatever you call it, and, you know, those two—see how it goes for those two nights where your partner's around. And if it doesn't—I would say, if it still seems really hard, maybe just waiting to do it until—I don't know if you have any other support you could enlist. You mentioned your mother—maybe she could come and visit, you know, because I do think it would be hard to try and do this and do the solo bedtimes for a while. So I don't know if there's a time when your mom could come visit or if there's some other support that you could have. But yeah—Joanna: I think the tricky part with that is that, like, she—even with my husband—like, she doesn't want him to put her to bed.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: And depending on the kind of night that she's having, sometimes she'll end up, like, screaming, and their bedrooms are right beside each other. So we've had it before where, like, she'll start having a meltdown and, like, wake him up, and then he's not able to fall asleep either. And then we—Sarah: There's also—your husband could be with your son.Joanna: It's the same—same situation though. Like, he doesn't—him—Sarah: It sounds—it sounds like possibly—I mean, there—kids do have preferred parents even when, um, they do have good connection with the—with the other parent. And you could maybe still work—have some—that be something that you're working on, having your partner, you know, maybe even practicing having—before you start doing the night-weaning—practicing having your partner doing some of the bedtime stuff. When you are—when, you know, when—before you're starting to make a change so that your son doesn't associate, you know, “I'm not getting what I want,” and my dad, you know, putting me to sleep.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: So I would maybe try to get your partner a little bit more involved in bedtime before making a change. And—and even if there's some crying—we also have a podcast about preferred parents that you could listen to. So I—you know, I think maybe you do have a little bit of pre-work to do before you start doing the night-weaning, and, in terms of when—how can you get support at bedtime?Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: Okay.Joanna: I mean, the other option is if you just kick it down the road more and—or, you know, there isn't—there's actually a third option now that I think about it—it's that you still nurse him to sleep but then don't nurse him when you wake him up—when he wakes up in the night. Get him to go back to sleep without that.Sarah: I hadn't thought about that, because I think that everything that I've heard has been, like, they have to fall asleep on their own because then they're always gonna be—Joanna: looking—Sarah: for—Joanna: Yeah. Yeah.Sarah: But I mean, you could still try it.Joanna: Hmm. Okay.Sarah: Or you could try shortening the—you know, give him a little bit of milk and then see if he'll go to sleep, um, after he has a little bit, but without nursing to sleep.Joanna: Okay. Yeah. Okay, I'll give that some thought and try some different things there.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: Okay. Thank you. But yeah, I feel like just starting to get sleep again is pretty important. So, even in terms of, like, being able to center myself to handle all of the things that goes on with my daughter during the day, that feels like a really important piece right now.Sarah: For sure. And if she's—if she's some nights not going—it sounds like quite frequently maybe she's not asleep before nine.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: And what time does she wake up?Joanna: 7:30.Sarah: 7:30. So do you think she's getting enough sleep?Joanna: Probably not. She's really lethargic in the morning.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: But I can't really seem to figure out how to be able to get her to sleep. Like, I did talk to her about it, and she was like, “Well, maybe when I turn eight, like, I can start putting myself to bed.” And I was like, “Okay, well what—what would that look like?” And she kind of went through, like, “Okay, I'll, you know, I'll brush my teeth on the phone with Grandma, and then I'll just, like, read in bed.” And—but this is, like, in a moment where she's feeling very regulated.Sarah: Right, right, right. And when's her birthday?Joanna: Uh, in about two months.Sarah: Okay. Yeah. Um, have you had a conversation with her about how neither of you likes the fighting at night? And, you know—and does she have any, like—not in the moment, but does she have any ideas of, you know, how you can solve the problem of her not, you know, not wanting to go to bed and then getting too tired and then getting really cranky?Joanna: Yeah, we have—we have talked about it, and we can talk about it with, like, a little bit more levity now, but I don't think that she's actually—we've gone to, like, the problem-solving—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: of that.Sarah: I mean, that might be a helpful conversation to have with her and just say, “You know, I've been thinking about what often happens at night, you know, and I totally get it, that you don't wanna go to bed. Like, you know, when I was a kid, I never wanted to go to bed, and I would've stayed up all night if I could. And I'm sure you're the same because it's just—you know, when you're young, going to bed is, like, you know, not any fun at all.” And you can make—you could even make a joke, like, “When you're old like me, like, you can't wait to go to bed.” But of course when you're young, you don't wanna go to sleep, and I totally get that. So, like, lots of empathy and acknowledging, like, her perspective. And—and then you could say, “And at the same time, you know, you do—you know, why do you think it's important to sleep?” So I guess you could have that conversation with her too about, like, you know, what happens when we're sleeping that—your, you know, you could talk about how your cells, like, fix themselves. Also we grow when we're sleeping—like, we get the—like, the growth hormone gets secreted, and that's the—if we don't get enough sleep, we're not gonna grow and we're not gonna feel happy the next day. So you can, like, talk to her about the importance of sleep. And then you could say, like, “So, you know, I know you don't wanna go to sleep, and I know how important it is, and now you do too. And, you know—and I hate fighting with you at bedtime. You know, do you have any ideas for how we can solve this problem? Because I really want us both to go to bed feeling happy and connected.”Joanna: Yeah. Yeah, that's a great suggestion. Thank you. I think the biggest barrier to her getting to bed on time is she is finally feeling, like, a bit more calm and relaxed at night. Like, she comes home after school with a lot—she's holding a lot from school. They have, like, a point system for good behavior at school.Sarah: Oh.Joanna: And you should see how she racks up the points. She has great behavior at school. The teacher's, like—would never believe what goes on at home.Sarah: Of course, yeah.Joanna: So then she comes home, and it's, like, a lot of unloading. So I feel like by that time of night she's, like, ready to pursue her hobbies. Like, she's like, “Oh, I just wanna do this one more little”—you know, she's drawing something, and it's always like, “I just need to finish this,” because once she gets started on something, she can't seem to break her focus on—We're very much suspecting ADHD. That's gonna be probably in the next year we pursue a diagnosis, but—Sarah: Typically—do have a lot of trouble falling asleep—that's with ADHD. What about—you know, so two outta three of my kids had a lot of trouble falling asleep, and they're both my ADHD kids, and what really helped them was something to listen to at night. You know—Joanna: Yeah, she does listen to podcasts falling asleep—Sarah: Does listen to stuff.Joanna: Yeah, she's always listened—listened to, like, a story falling asleep. I think part of it too is we don't get a lot of one-on-one time throughout the day.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: Because my son's around in the morning.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: And it's usually just the three of us until my husband wakes up, which is shortly before she goes to school. And then it's again the three of us from after school till bedtime most days, except for the two days a week that he's off.Sarah: Well, I mean, that's something to explore too, like, in—are there, you know—I don't know if you live in a neighborhood that has some, like, tweens that could come over and play with your son for an hour—you know, just someone really fun that he would like to play with—and then you and your daughter could have some time together. Because what I was gonna say when you said that she comes home with what we call the “full backpack” in Peaceful Parenting—which is, she's been carrying around, for anyone who's listening who doesn't know what that is, it's a concept that my mentor, Dr. Laura, came up with—where you're holding on to all of the stresses, big feelings, tensions from the day, and then when you come home, it's too much to, you know, to keep holding onto it. And so that's what you were just referring to, is just that she's got a lot to unpack after the day at school. And so I'm wondering—so when you mentioned that, I was gonna say, like, what could you do to try to proactively get some of that emptied out? Couple of ideas: do you do any roughhousing with her?Joanna: We actually just started doing that, and I couldn't believe how much she was into it. Yeah, I was super surprised. But I also think that it's taken just a lot of, like, repair with our relationship to get to the point that I've even been able to try some of this stuff. Like, because at first, like, when I first started hearing about some of these, like, peaceful—I, I don't know if you'd call them techniques—but, like, being playful and, um, roughhousing and things like that—she was so not open to anything at all because she was just so serious and so edgy and like, “Get away from me,” like, so irritable. So now I think that we've just—I've poured a lot of time in on weekends just to, like, spend time together that's enjoyable, and I'm noticing a huge shift. So now we are able to do some of these things, and it—it is turning out more positively.Sarah: Good. I mean, as you're speaking, I'm thinking that it sounds like there was maybe, um, quite a—a breach when your son was born, like, the last two years. Or, or do you feel like your relationship has always been a little strained even before that?Joanna: I feel like maybe it's always been a little fraught. I don't know if his birth had, like, a huge impact on that. Um, it has always been pretty strained.Sarah: Okay, okay.Joanna: Just because she's the more challenging kid?Sarah: I think so. And, you know, when she was two there was the pandemic. I think, like, I was carrying a lot of trauma after the whole NICU experience with her. And then we had the pandemic, and then we moved, and then I got pregnant, and then I had my son. So it's like there's sort of been these, like, things along the way where—yeah, I don't know.Sarah: Yeah. Okay. Well, I mean, that's good that you brought that up because I think that, you know, maybe that's gonna be the pre-work—that even before bedtime starts to feel better is really working on—you know, if you can get some support in, because it is really hard to have one-on-one time with a 2-year-old who probably doesn't wanna leave you alone. But even if—you know, continue with your sort of bulking up on the weekends with that time with her and do some, like, roughhousing and special time with her. Do you guys do special time?Joanna: Yeah. And that's something I wanted to talk about because special time has been sort of a big fail when I call it special time and when we set a timer for special time, because it really tends to dysregulate her, I think, because she's like, “Oh my God, I only have you for 15 minutes.” Mm-hmm. She gets really stressed out, and then she's like—oftentimes she likes to do these, like, elaborate pretend plays—things which need, like, a lot, a lot of setup time. Yeah. So she'll be like, “Pause the timer so I can set this up,” and then it just becomes, like, more tension between us. Like, it's not enjoyable.Sarah: It's one of those things where, like, you really have to adjust it to how it works for your particular family. Um, so, you know, maybe you just have, like, a couple hours with her on the weekend and you're—and it would be good for your—your partner and your son too. Maybe he could take him to the park or go and—you know, for them to work on their connection, which might make him a little bit more willing to go to bed with his dad, you know, on the nights that your partner is home. So, you know, I would really work on that connection with her and do those pretend play things with her. And even—you know, and this is maybe obvious, which is why I didn't say it before—but, you know, partly she's dragging her heels because that's the only time she has you to herself—at bedtime, right?Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: And so she doesn't want that to end because that's the only time that it—her brother's asleep—she has you all to herself. So if you can increase the time where she has you all to herself, she might be more willing to, um, to go to bed. Yeah. The other thing I was gonna say is, do you have anything that you do together at bedtime that would be, like—it sounds like she's dragging her heels to actually get in bed. Is there anything that you can do to entice her to get in bed, like a chapter book that you're reading her, that you read a chapter every night or something like that?Joanna: Yeah, and that has worked in the past, but it can—it can also kind of cause tension because I find, like, then I am a lot more apt to kind of hold it as, like, a bargaining chip instead of, like, “Oh, let's get to that.” Right. But lately we've been playing cards, and she's really motivated to, like, play a game of cards when we're in bed. So that seems to be working right now, but it's always kind of like—it changes all the time.Sarah: Right, right. Well, just keeping—thinking of something that you can use to make getting in bed seem more attractive? Um, maybe—I mean, my kids used to love hearing stories about me when I was little or about them when they were little. So it could even just be, like, a talk time. I know Corey, who works with me, does—she started doing a 10-minute talk time with one of her sons, who's a little bit older than—than your daughter, but where they just have, you know, this time where they just get in bed and he tells her stuff and they—they talk. So that could be something too—just really pure, straight-up connection.Joanna: Yeah. Okay, I like that. Maybe I can just ask you a couple more things about some of the things I—She's kind of a person that really wants constant connection too. Like, it does feel like I could spend, like, all day with her, and then she—once it's over, she would still be like, “Well, why are we not still—” like, it—we've always kind of—my husband and I will joke that she's got, like, a leaky cup because it's, like, “Just fill up their cup,” but it doesn't seem to matter. He used to play with her for, like, two to three hours when she was younger, and then at the end she would just, like, not be satisfied. Like, it didn't seem like anything was going to, like, fill her cup.Sarah: And that—you know what, there are kids like that. I remember I had this client once whose son actually said to her, “Mama, all the—all the hours in the world are not enough time with you.” And there are some kids that are really just like that. And, you know, I'm not sure how you respond when she says, like, you know, “But we hardly even got to play,” after you play for three hours. I mean, that playful—like, “Oh my gosh, like, what if we could just play all day?” You know, either, like, playful response of, like, “We could play for 27 hours,” you know, “and—and—and we would still have so much fun together.” Or just pure empathy, you know, like, “Oh no, it just feels like it's never enough time, is it?”Joanna: And it almost seems like sometimes when I am empathetic, it almost, like, fuels her anger. I don't know if you've ever heard that before from anybody else, but—eh, I don't know. Like, we had a situation with—like, she was looking for a specific bear last weekend—a teddy bear that she's missing—because she wanted to bring it to a teddy bear picnic. And so we were sort of, like, you know, we had to get out the door to go to this party. She couldn't find this bear, and I was, like, you know, offering a lot of empathy, and just, like—the more that I was like, “I know, like, you're so frustrated; you're so disappointed that you can't find your bear,” it was like the more that she was like, “Yeah, and you took it, you hid it, you put it somewhere.” Like, it just—the more empathy I gave, it seemed like the more that she was using it as almost, like, fuel to be upset. Does that make sense? Right.Sarah: Yeah. No, that's pretty common. And the thing is, you have to remember that blame is trying to offload difficult feelings. It's like, “I don't wanna feel this way, so I'm gonna blame you.” And then—you know, it's anger—have you ever seen the image of the anger iceberg?Joanna: Yes.Sarah: Yeah. So the anger iceberg is, like, the anger is the only thing you see coming out of the water. But underneath the iceberg are all of the more tender feelings, right? And anger is actually a secondary emotion. So you don't start out by feeling angry. You feel—like, like for her, she maybe was feeling frustrated and disappointed that she couldn't find her bear. And those are the first feelings. But those more tender feelings are harder to feel, and so anger is often protective. And the tender feelings also set off that—you know, that overwhelm of our emotions registers as a threat to the nervous system, which sets off that fight, flight, or freeze. So there's all those things going on, right? Like, the blame of, like, trying to offload the feelings; the anger of feeling like it's easier to go on the offensive than to feel those tender feelings; and then the nervous system getting set off by that overwhelm that registers as a threat, right? It sets off the fight, flight, or freeze. And they're—they're kind of all different ways of saying the same thing. And yes, empathy often will help a child—that they get more in touch with those feelings. And I'm not saying that you don't wanna empathize, um, but just recognize that, you know, the feelings are happening, and when you empathize, they—you know, you're welcoming the feelings, which sometimes can have that fight, flight, or freeze effect.Joanna: And would you recommend that I continue to really lean into empathy more and just stay with all of that emotion until it passes?Sarah: So—totally depends. The other thing I was gonna say is it's possible—like the situation you just gave me—it's possible—like, how—were you actually feeling empathetic, or were you trying to just get out the door?Joanna: I think I was, but at a certain point I was like, “I think, you know, we have two options from here. Like, we can continue to be upset about the bear and it—it will make us late for the party, or at a certain point we can move on and make a new plan,” and, like, “get our—make our way over there.” So, um, is that effective? Yeah, I—I mean, she eventually was able to change gears. But, I mean, it doesn't feel like real life to just be able to, like, sit in your negative emotions all the time. And I think, like, maybe I struggle with doing that for, like, a long enough period of time to actually let her—let them out.Sarah: Well, I don't know—yeah. So, I mean, there's a difference between welcoming feelings and wallowing in emo—in emotion, I think.Joanna: Yeah. And she definitely is a wallower, and she almost has really, like, attached so much sadness and frustration and anger to this bear. Like, now she'll just, like, think about the bear and be like, “Oh, I still can't find that bear.” Like, she was just, like, you know, exploding about it again this past weekend. So it almost feels like she's just latching onto it to, like, feel bad there.Sarah: I mean, some kids—she's probably not choosing to latch onto it to feel bad, but she probably just has. So, so what I was gonna say is sometimes when kids seem to be wallowing, it's just that there's so much there that they haven't been able to get out on a regular basis. So I think it is just like a full backpack, and there's just a lot there. And it's not—it's probably not just about the bear. It's probably just like she's—it's, you know, processing other older things too. And you don't have to know what's in the backpack or try and figure it out. But you might find that if you had more opportunities for her to process feelings, then she might not get so stuck when they do start to come out.That's one thing that I would think of. Like—and more laughter should help with that. Like, more laughter and roughhousing to help her sort of process stuff. And also sometimes—so the bear thing reminds me of—some kids will just feel bad, you know, like feel bad sometimes from, like, a full backpack, or maybe they don't even know what it is, they can't connect. Or maybe they're just tired and low-resourced and their brain is kind of like, “Why do I feel bad? Why do I feel bad?” And she's like, “Oh, the bear.” You know, she remembers, like, the bear. Like, I've had clients tell me, my kid will say, like, “I miss Grandpa,” who they never met, who died before they were born—like, just kind of casting around for, like, “Why could I be feeling this way right now? Oh, I know—it's 'cause I can't find that bear.”Or maybe the bear is so important to her that it really is—that she thinks about it and it just makes her feel bad. But I think what you wanna remember when it seems like she's wallowing is that, you know, getting—like, having empathy. And I actually also did a podcast about this too, with another coaching call, where I talked about, you know, cultivating a certain amount of nonchalance after you feel like you've been pretty empathetic and welcomed the feelings. Because I think if we're too empathetic sometimes—and I do wanna be very careful with this because I don't want anyone to take this as, like, “Don't be empathetic”—but, you know, there is a time where you just say, like, “You know what? I hear how upset you are about this, and I get it. And I would be really bummed if I couldn't find the bear I wanted also. And we have to decide, like, are we gonna stay here and just keep feeling sad about the bear, or should we figure out another plan?” Like what you said, right.Joanna: Yeah, I have heard you say that before, and that's been so helpful for her. Mm-hmm. It seems like if I'm not so reactive to her emotions, she realizes that they're not an emergency either.Sarah: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean—and that's a good point too, because I didn't even ask you, like, how's your regulation when this is happening? Like, are you getting, like, annoyed, frustrated, upset for her, kind of drawn in? Are you able to, like, kind of center yourself and stay calm?Joanna: It varies. I would say I currently am the most resourced that I've ever been—good with, like, the emotional regulation piece. And then that—I see, like, sometimes she is able to come out of it more quickly, or it just depends on, you know, what her tolerance is at that—at that time. So—Sarah: Joanna, it might be that, you know, you're coming out of—almost like you're coming out of a fog of, you know—you said all the things: like the NICU experience, and then the—and then COVID, and then your new baby, and—and that it might be that you're really, finally for the first time, kind of getting to tend—you know, look at yourself, your own regulation, and be more present and connected with your daughter. And all these things are gonna start having a little bit of, um, of a snowball effect. And it may be that you've just had this, like, seven-year period of difficulty, you know?Joanna: Oh, that's horrifying.Sarah: Well, but the good news is it sounds like things are shifting.Joanna: Yeah. It really does feel like that. Yeah. You're—I feel like even if I talked to you a few months ago, I would've been like, “Oh, help me.”Sarah: Well—and that you're recognizing what you brought—what you bring to the table, and that, you know, things have been fraught with your daughter, and that you're sort of starting to come out. And—and honestly, also doing that—doing that bedtime—after-school bedtime by yourself five days a week, that's gonna be tough too. Uh, so you've got situ—just that current situation doesn't sound like it'll change, but you're changing what you're bringing to it.Joanna: Yeah. Yeah. Um, if I can maybe just ask you, like, one more little thing?Sarah: Sure.Joanna: Maybe this is—it all comes back to, like, wanting a lot of connection, but this is also what kind of drains my battery. She constantly wants to, like, talk to me or ask me questions from, like, the time that she wakes up to the time that she goes to bed. And it will be—like, currently it's, like, “Would you rather.” It's like, “Would you rather eat all the food in the world or never eat again?” Uh-huh. In the past it's been, like, “Guess what's in my mouth?” But then she always really tries to make it—make me wrong in the circumstance, if that makes sense. Like, I don't know if that's just her, like, looking for power or, like, the upper hand, or like—I don't know. I'm not sure what it is.Sarah: Well, I mean, if you feel—if you have a sense that she's looking for power, I would bring that into the roughhousing—where you are the one who's weak and bumbling and idiotic, and, you know, you're so slow, and she beats you every time at a race. So I would really try to bring some of that—some of that stuff into your roughhousing where she gets to be—Do you know the kind of stuff I'm talking about? Like, “I bet you can't—um, you know, I bet you can't beat me at arm wrestling,” and then, like, you know, you flop your arm over in a silly way, and like, “How are you so strong? Like, I'm gonna beat you next time.” And it's obviously playful, because probably you are stronger than she is at this point, but, you know—feats of strength or speed, or, you know, figuring things out, and you act like you really don't know anything. And—but in, of course, in a joking way, so she knows that you're not—you know, you're pretending to be all these things, but she still gets to gloat and, like, “Ha, you know, I'm the strongest, I'm the best.” So really giving her that in roughhousing.And then also, like, real power. Like, I don't know if she gets to make—what kinds of decisions she gets to make, or, you know, how much—how flexible you are on limits. Because sometimes, as parents, we do set unnecessary limits, which can make our kids, you know—make them look for power in other ways. So really looking at what limits you're setting and if they're necessary limits, and—and how you're setting them. Uh, and also I think it sounds like it's connection-seeking—like, she just wants you. You know, she wants to know that you're there and paying attention to her. And so everything else that you're doing—that we're talking about—that you're gonna try to do more—more time with her and get more one-on-one time with her, hopefully that will help too.And I think it is okay to say, like, after you've done, like, 25 “would you rathers,” I just say—like, I used to say to my kids, “You know what? My brain is just feeling really stimulated from so many words. Like, can we have some quiet for a few minutes?” And not—and being very careful to not phrase it like, “You're talking too much,” or “I don't wanna listen to—” and I'm exaggerating for effect—but just framing it as, like, your brain and a regulation thing—like, “My brain,” and it is words. Yeah. And so, like, “Do you—should we put some music on?” You know, “Can we—like, think of—can you connect in a way that—let's listen to a story.” Okay. Something like that where you still, like, keep up connection with her, but—and it might not work. She—she might not be able to stop talking, but you can try it at least.Joanna: No, that's a—that's a really good suggestion. Almost like replacing it with some other kind of stimulation if she's looking for that in that moment.Sarah: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So I think—I think it's just—I think it's fair. Like, it's totally—I, at the end of the day, with people, like, talking at me all day, I sometimes am like—you know, when my kids were younger, I'd be like, “Okay, you know, I—I just need a little—my brain needs a little bit of a break. It's feeling overstimulated.” So I think just using that language with her.Joanna: Okay. Okay. Great. Thank you. Well—Sarah: Yeah, I think you're—you know, I think that I've—that we've connected at a point where you're, like, at—you're, like, at the—sort of the top of a mountain, you know? And you've been, like, having all this struggle and uphill battles. And I think you've put—before even we talk—you've put a lot of pieces [together] of what—you know, why some of the challenges were. And they do seem to be connection—you know, connection-based, just in terms of, um, you know, her wanting more and you not being as resourced. And so hopefully working on connection is gonna help with that too.Joanna: Yeah. I'm gonna keep that at top of mind.Sarah: And your self-regulation too. You said you're—you know, you've been having—you're more resourced now than you ever have been, so you're able to work on really staying, like, calm and compassionate in those times when she's dysregulated. Going back to what I said in the beginning, which is that, you know, the steps for the meltdowns really start with our own regulation.Joanna: And I find it's a snowball effect too, because once you start seeing positive changes, it allows you to, like, rest in knowing that things will not always be so hard.Sarah: Yeah. So it—Joanna: It gives you motivation to keep going, I think.Sarah: Totally. And, you know, with complex kids—which it sounds like your daughter is one of those more complex kids—um, brain maturity makes such a huge difference. Um, like, every month and every year as she's starting to get older. And, you know, you mentioned ADHD—that you—that you suspect that she might be ADHD. ADHD kids are often around three years behind, um, in terms of what you might expect for them in terms of, like, their brain development. And not—and not across the board. But in terms of, like, their regulation, in terms of what they can do for themselves, um, like in—you know, and obviously every kid is different. But it really helps to think about, um, your ADHD kids as sort of, uh, developmentally younger than they are. My—my girlfriend who has—her son and my daughter are the same age, so they're both just starting college or university this year. And, um, she was—I—she lives in California, and I was talking to her, and her son has ADHD, and she was talking about how much support he's still needing in first-year college and how she was feeling a little bit like, “Oh, I feel like I shouldn't be supporting him this much when he's 18.” And—and she said, “Actually, I just re—you know, I always remind myself of what you told me a long time ago: to think of him as three years younger than he is in some ways,” and that that's made her feel a little bit better about the scaffolding that she's having to give him.Joanna: Yeah, I've never heard that before. That's good. She's also gonna be starting to work with an OT in a couple of weeks, so we'll see if that has any effect as well.Sarah: Cool.Joanna: Cool.Sarah: Alright, well, I look forward to catching up with you in around maybe three weeks or a month and seeing how things went, and, um, good luck, and I hope this was helpful and gave you some things to work on.Joanna: Okay. Thank you so much.Sarah: Hi Joanna. Welcome back to the podcast.Joanna: Hi Sarah.Sarah: So—how has—it's been about—I think it's been about four weeks since we talked the first time. How have things been?Joanna: Yeah, things I think have been going a little better. Like, every day is a little bit different. We definitely have, like, a lot of ups and downs still, but I think overall we're just on a better trajectory now. Um, it's actually—I was wondering if things—if, like, the behavior has actually been better, or if it's more just, like, my frame of mind.Sarah: That is the classic question because—it's so funny, I'm—I'm laughing because so much of the time when I'm coaching parents, after a couple of sessions they'll say, “This isn't even about my kids. This is all about me.” Right.Joanna: Yeah, it really, really is and just continues to be about, like, my own—not just frame of mind, but, like, my own self-regulation. That's always the biggest thing.Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: Um, I think the biggest challenge is, like—ever since, like, about six months ago, I just have had really bad PMS. So I find, like, the week before—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: I just feel so irritated by everything.Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: So I feel like that's a really—just so much more of a challenging time because then things that normally don't bother me are bothering me a lot more.Sarah: Right.Joanna: And then it's harder to keep that connection strong.Sarah: Totally. Yeah. And you also—as we mentioned last time—you have come off of a whole bunch of different events of, you know—we talked your daughter's premature birth, and then COVID, and then the new baby. And the new baby—you know, you're not sleeping that much, and, um, all of those things would make it also have your resources be low. Like, not only the PMS, but, like, anything that puts a tax on us—on our resources—is gonna make us more irritable.Joanna: Totally. And—but I'm really trying to lean into having a lot more compassion for myself, because I know that when I do that, I can have a lot more compassion for her and, mm-hmm, whatever's going on that she's bringing to the table too. So that's—that's, I think, probably the biggest thing. But I think that our relationship is just starting to have a lot more resilience—like, when things do start to go sideways, either she or I—we're able to kind of get back on track a lot more quickly than before, and it doesn't become as, like, entrenched.Sarah: That's awesome. And we—we talked last time about trying to get some more time with her so that the only time that she has with you isn't just at bedtime when you're trying to get her to go to bed. Have you been able to do that, and has it—do you think that's been helping?Joanna: Yeah. It depends. Like, we had a really busy weekend this past weekend, so not as much. And then I find that sometimes, like, a barrier to that is, like, by the time the weekend finally comes, I'm so depleted and really just, like, needing time for myself. As much as I'm like, “Okay, I need to spend one-on-one time with her,” I'm like, “I don't want to—I just, like, be by myself for a little while.” So it's—Sarah: I hear that.Joanna: It's always that—like, yeah, it's always that balancing act. And then, like, feeling guilty of, like, “Okay, no, I know I should want to hang out with her,” and I kind of just don't really.Sarah: Mm-hmm. No, you're—you're totally not alone. And it's funny that you just—you mentioned self-compassion and then you said, “I feel guilty 'cause I—I don't wanna hang out with her,” but we all—the theme so far in this five minutes is that, um, you know, what you're bringing to the—what you're bringing to the relationship has been improving. Like you said, your mindset has shifted, and that's helping things with her. So even if you're not getting time independently with her—and hopefully you can work towards that after you fill your own cup—but you're still helping things with her by getting time to yourself.Joanna: True. Yeah, because then I'm coming back just a much better, happier—yes—parent and person.Sarah: Totally.Joanna: Oh, thank you. That's helpful.Sarah: Yeah, and the—and I think you've—you know, you've touched—just in these few minutes—you've touched on two big things that I always say: if you can't really take these two things to heart, it'll be really hard to be a successful peaceful parent. And one is what you said—the mindset shift, you know, of how you see her behavior with, you know, that children are doing the best they can. You know, they're not giving us a hard time; they're having a hard time. And the other one is self-compassion. So making strides in both of those areas will really help you be that parent that you wanna be.Joanna: Yeah. And even though we're maybe not getting huge chunks of time individually, I am really trying to make the most of, like, those little moments—Sarah: Good.Joanna: —of connection. Yeah. So even, like—what we've started doing is, because my husband's on night shift, he is waking up with her in the morning because she has a really hard time in the morning. So now he's sort of with her, getting her ready in the morning. And then I am—like, we used to all walk to the bus together because my son likes to go too. But now my husband's hanging back with my son, so now I'm just walking her to the bus. And even though it's five minutes, it's like we're holding hands. She's able to tell me—Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: —you know, talking about whatever.Sarah: That's still—that—that totally counts. That's—and that also, um, that also takes care of something we talked about last time too, which is your husband and your son having more time together, um, so that the nights that—when your husband is home—maybe he can put your son to bed and start trying to shift that dynamic. So yeah. That's amazing that you're doing—that. Yeah, I think that's a great shift—walking to her—to the bus by herself.Joanna: And I think it—it actually makes a huge difference. You know, before it was like she would just kind of get on the bus and not really look back, and now she's, like, giving me a hug and a kiss and waving—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: —waving in the window. So, like, I can see that it's having a positive effect right away.Sarah: You could even leave five minutes earlier than you have to and have—turn that five minutes into ten minutes.Joanna: I would love to do that. It's always just—like, it's really hard to get to the bus on time as it is. We will work toward that though.Sarah: I hear that. Well, if you did try to leave five minutes earlier then it might be more relaxed, even if you didn't even have any extra time, but you were just, like—leave, you know, change your whole morning back five minutes and try to get out five minutes early.Joanna: Yeah. Yeah. True. So I think that we had talked a lot about roughhousing last time too—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: —and I do find that that's—that's really—it works well for her, but I run into this really specific problem where when, uh, like, we start roughhousing, and then she's enjoying it, but then my son wants to get in the mix—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: —and then right away she's like, “No, like, get outta here.” So then she'll start kind of, like, pushing him or, like, throwing kicks or something. So—and then he gets upset because he's like, “Mom! Mom!” So then I end up sort of, like, pinned underneath both of them—Sarah: Right.Joanna: —they're mad at each other, hitting each other—Sarah: Oh no.Joanna: —they both want me.Sarah: Well, maybe—maybe don't do it then if that's how it ends up. But I do have a couple of shifts that might help before you give up on it when you're alone with them. One is, do you ever try to do those “two against you”? Like, start it out right from the get-go—“You two against Mommy. See if you can—see if you can—” Um, it's funny you just said you end up pinned down because that's what I often say. Like, “See if you can stop Mommy from getting up,” or “See if you can catch me,” or, you know, trying to align the two of them against you. That might help.Joanna: Yeah, I love that idea. Never thought about that. Yeah, I think she would love that.Sarah: Yeah. So, “Okay, you two are a team, and you have to try to stop me from jumping on the bed,” or “You know, you—you have to stop me from getting to the bed,” or, you know, something like that.Joanna: Okay, I'm gonna try that. I think that they'll love it.Sarah: Yeah. Another idea is, um, what I call “mental roughhousing,” where you're not doing, like, physical stuff, but you're being silly and, like, um—I think I mentioned her last time to you, but A Playful Heart Parenting—Mia—W—Walinski. She has a lot of great ideas on her Instagram—we'll link to that in the show notes—of, like, different, um, like, word things that you can do. When I say mental roughhousing, it's like getting everyone laughing without being physical.Joanna: Mm-hmm.Sarah: Uh, which—you know, the goal of roughhousing is to get everyone laughing, and sometimes being physical might not work. But you can—like, I'll give you an idea. This isn't from Mia, but this is something that I used to do with my kids. Like, you know, one of you—you're like—you say to JR, “Oh—where did your sister go?” And she's sitting right there. “She was just here a minute ago. Where did Jay go? I don't see her. What happened to her? She disappeared.” And meanwhile she's like, “I'm right here! I'm right here!” You know—something like that that's more of, like, a—more of a mental roughhousing.My kids and I used to play this game that actually my brother-in-law invented called Slam, where, like, you both say a word at the same time. Um, so, like—I'm just looking around my—like, you know, “curtain” and, you know, “lemonade.” Uh, and then it's like—you both say it—both—you both say your word at the same time. And that actually wasn't a very funny one—kids come up with much funnier ones than I do—but it's like, “Is that, like, a lemonade that is made out of curtains, or is it a—what—” It's such a dumb example now that I think of it, but—but—or is it, like, a curtain that hides the lemonade? And so you just try and—like, you think of silly things that the two words together—the two words “slam” together—mean.Joanna: Okay, great. That's—that's on my next book—that's on my next thing to read. You—man—you keep mentioning—what is it? Playful—Playful Heart Parenting? She has an—I—Sarah: There was a book—there was a book too. And—Joanna: Oh—Sarah: Playful Parenting—the Larry Cohen book.Joanna: The Larry Cohen book, yeah.Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: That's a great book. Yeah, and he was on my podcast too, so you could listen to that. We'll also link to—Mia was on my podcast, and Larry was—so we'll link to both of those in the show notes as well.Joanna: Okay, great. I may have listened to one of those, but—yeah. Okay. Yeah.Sarah: And Playful Parenting is really great for also talking—and, like, Mia is just straight up, like, how to be more playful in life and to, you know, make more joy in your family kind of thing. And Larry talks about how to be more playful to also support your child through transitions and through big emotions and different things—like, it's a—it's a little bit more, um, like, all-around parenting—Playful Parenting.Joanna: Okay.Sarah: But it is different.Joanna: Yeah. I used to have a really hard time getting the kids upstairs to start the bedtime routine. And now it's like—I'll be like, “Okay, I'm gonna hide first,” and, like, I go upstairs and hide and we start—Sarah: Oh, I love that.Joanna: —we play hide-and-seek, and—Sarah: Oh yeah, it was a stroke of genius one day, and it's been working so well just to get everyone, like, off the main floor and—Joanna: —upstairs.Sarah: I'm gonna totally steal that idea. That's such a good idea. Yeah, because you could also send them up—“Okay, go hide upstairs and I'll come and find you.” And then you could do a round of you hiding. And I love that. That's a great idea. Yeah.Joanna: And I especially love hide-and-seek for sometimes when I need, like, 30 seconds by myself in a dark closet—Sarah: —to, like, take a breath.Joanna: That's great.Sarah: I love it. I love it. Yeah, it's—that's so great.As I mentioned before, I forgot to ask Joanna for an update about a few things. So here's the update about breastfeeding her son in the night.Sarah: Okay.Joanna: Hi, Sarah. So, in terms of the night-weaning, um, I haven't gone ahead and done anything about that yet just because he does have his last molars coming in and has been sick. So I want to wait until he's well and pain-free to kind of give us our best chance at getting that off on the right foot. But I have really realized that because he's my last baby, that this is really the last little home stretch of being woken up by a baby at night—specifically to nurse. So that's helped me kind of reduce my feelings of resentment toward it.Sarah: I love that Joanna zoomed out and looked at the big picture and the fact that this is her last baby, and used that to sort of just change her mindset a little bit and make it a little bit easier to continue on with something when she knew it wasn't the right time to stop. And now here is her update about bedtime with her daughter. And for this, I love that she got preventive—you'll see what I mean—and also playful. Those are two really great things to look at when you're having any struggles with your kids: like, how can I prevent this from happening? And also, how can I be playful when it is happening and shift the mood?Joanna: And in terms of bedtime with my daughter, we've made a couple of schedule changes to set us off on a better foot once I get back together with her after putting my son to bed. So I think we used to have a lot of conflict because it was like she was still asking for another snack and then hadn't brushed her teeth, and then it was just kind of getting to be too late and I was getting short on patience. So now we have, like, a set snack time where everybody has a snack, and I let them know, like, “This is the last time that we're eating today,” and then we're going upstairs—using hide-and-seek, like I mentioned—and then just really continuing to be playful in all doing our bedtime tasks together.So, for example, I'm saying, like, “Okay, I'm gonna go into my room and put my pajamas on. Can you guys go get your PJs on—and then don't show me, but I have to guess what pajamas you have on?” So she really loves that because, like I mentioned, she loves to get me to guess things. But also she's then helping her brother get ready for bed, and he's far more cooperative with her than with me in terms of getting his pajamas on. So it all works really well.Yeah, and then just kind of continuing to be silly and playful is really helping with brushing teeth—it's like, “Who can make the silliest faces in the mirror?” and stuff. So, really kind of moving through all those tasks together so that by the time I'm out of the room and ready to put her to bed, everything's done, and we can just get into playing cards and then snuggling and chatting and—and leaving from there after maybe a five- or ten-minute snuggle. So there's been way fewer meltdowns at the end of the night because we are able to just not get in this place where we're getting into power struggles in the first place. It's just really all about, like, the love and connection at the end of the day.Sarah: The final thing I wanted to check in with you about is—you were asking about the meltdowns. You know, when Jay gets really upset and, you know, how to—um—how to manage those. Have you had any chances to practice what we talked about with that?Joanna: Yeah, she actually had a really, really big, long, extended meltdown yesterday, and, um, I just continue to not really feel like I'm ever supporting her in the way that she needs supporting. Like, I don't—I always end up feeling like I'm not—I'm not helping. I don't know. It's just a really, really hard situation.Sarah: I was just talking to a client yesterday who—who actually wanted to know about supporting her child through meltdowns, and I said, “Well, what would you want someone to do for you?” You know—just kind of be there. Be quiet. You know, offer a—you know, rub the—rub your back—rub her back. I mean, I don't know exactly what your child wants, but I think that's a good place to start if you feel like you're not being successful—like, “Well, what would I want if this was happening to me?”Joanna: And I think that really—that's enough, right? It's enough—Sarah: Oh, totally.Joanna: —to be there. And it always—maybe I'm just feeling like it's not enough because we don't really even get, like, a good resolution, or, like, even—eventually it just kind of subsides, right?Sarah: If you were having a meltdown, that's what would happen. Nobody can come in there and fix it for you.Joanna: Um, exactly.Sarah: Nobody can come in and say the magic words that's gonna make you not feel upset anymore. So it's really just about that—being there for somebody. And we're—it's not that the resolution is “I fixed their problems.”Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: The resolution is “I was there with them for the journey.”Joanna: Yeah. And it goes back to what you were saying, where it's like, “Oh, this work really is just about me.”Sarah: Yeah, totally.Joanna: And learning how to show up.Sarah: And not feeling anxious when your child is upset and you're like, “I don't know what to do,” and just think, “Okay, I just have to be

What is the Rest Method®?For the last nine years since getting certified as a pediatric sleep consultant, I've dedicated myself to empowering parents with tools to create peaceful evenings and well-rested kids.This mission is a personal mission for me because I've been where you are.I've lived the nightmare of a tough-as-nails 3 year old refusing to get in bed and turning into a wet noodle at the mention of putting on PJs. My lived experience is why I started AWLS.

Mix of the Week #609 is "Lost at Pausenraum" by DJ BIRCH Follow and include @birch1 in your track ID request www.instagram.com/pausenraum_/ www.instagram.com/djbirch_/ Pausenraum = PR = Break Room: The concept is sweet n' simple — we keepin it mellow, musically and mentally. Just chill and calm

Passando a Limpo: Nesta segunda-feira (03), Tony Araújo e a bancada do programa conversam com o doutor em direito e mestre em direitos humanos, Fred Monteiro Rosa, sobre o projeto de Lei Anti Facção Criminosa. O advogado e consultor trabalhista, Marcos Alencar, conversa sobre a migração para o regime de PJs. O programa também conta com Eliane Cantanhêde.

We kick off the Mariah Game! You have to go as long as possible without hearing 'All I Want for Christmas is You', starting now... When did you have to ditch the shopping? When did the show not go to plan? A random person offered to babysit PJs kids Where was the unfortunate place you had to go to the toilet? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

O que acontece quando um húngaro aposta no Brasil como o melhor lugar do mundo para empreender?Neste episódio, a conversa é sobre burocracia, oportunidades inexploradas e a revolução no mercado de trabalho em plena transformação. Pedro Waengertner recebe Miklos Grof, fundador da Company Hero, para debater como um olhar externo e a inovação podem transformar as dores locais em soluções escaláveis.Miklos compartilha sua jornada do mercado financeiro europeu até o empreendedorismo no Brasil, com uma visão profunda sobre o crescimento exponencial do trabalho PJ: hoje, 6 em cada 10 vagas abertas no país são para esse modelo. Falamos do “superapp” da Company Hero e da missão de trazer mais segurança, benefícios e simplicidade para os profissionais que atuam como empresas de si mesmos, uma realidade que só tende a aumentar.Entre os temas práticos, eles falaram sobre:O impacto da IA e automação em funções tradicionais e a necessidade urgente de requalificaçãoA escassez de vagas para profissionais júnior e a transformação do processo de entrada no mercadoComo manter resiliência, ambição e convicção diante dos desafios do empreendedorismoO valor de cultivar curiosidade, redes amplas e olhar externo para descobrir oportunidades disfarçadas em problemas locaisSe você atua no ecossistema de startups, está de olho no futuro do trabalho ou quer entender as mudanças estruturais que já estão acontecendo no Brasil, esse papo é para você. Dá o play e vem com a gente!

Ready to make this your most profitable Black Friday yet? This year, we're not winging it. We're going in with a plan, a strategy, and a whole lot less stress. In this episode, I break down exactly how to prep your Black Friday sale so you can actually enjoy your Thanksgiving dinner and wake up to sales rolling in while you're still in your PJs.I share the simple steps I use with my own social media clients to create calm, profitable, and well-planned promos. Black Friday doesn't have to be chaos to work. Whether you're a lash artist, beauty pro, or product-based brand, this episode will help you make more money and protect your peace.What you'll learn in this episode:How far in advance to start your Black Friday planning (and what to prep first)What questions to ask yourself before deciding on your promoThe secret to choosing a sale that aligns with your goals (not random discounts)How to map out your “hype,” “awareness,” and “sale” phases so people actually buyTips for automating your posts and emails so you're not glued to your phone all weekendWhy patience (and cookie metaphors

Do people borrow items from their neighbours in the city or only in the country? Am I A Weirdo? I love the smell of English Breakfast Tea Bags... PJs husband BJ doesn't know how to use an electric toothbrush What funny or wild thing happened at the funeral?! The initiative helping woman feel confident around fishing, hunting, diving and more! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Producer Bronte is turning 22, what do you have that's over 22 years old in your house?! Bill Bailey joins us in studio to chat his tour throughout NZ, tries a kiwi accent and also shares his favourite spot in NZ! Battle of The Hits: Mom Pop edition PJs got her first mums night out, hens night next weekend! Do you have the craziest job or job responsibility? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Send us a textThe Ones Ready crew returns to burn down the house with a brutally honest breakdown of integrity, influence, and idiocy in the military influencer world. Jared's new book Wet Death gets high praise (and a bit of trolling), Aaron confesses his TV crimes, and Trent plays devil's advocate like a champ. The real fire? A scorched-earth takedown of Tim Kennedy—his alleged valor awards, inflated resume, and why stolen valor isn't just embarrassing—it's corrosive. Plus: a war room full of memes, Nate's jump-to-conclusions mat, and the Pentagon's real nuke warning system (hint: it's covered in cheese and pepperoni). If you're looking for polished PR, move along. If you want unfiltered, warfighter-level truth bombs with a side of sarcasm, welcome home.

Mike Rowe talks about not being the “dirty jobs” Mike Rowe, planning for the future, being funny in high school, becoming an electrical engineer and giving it up for comedy, performing in NY comedy clubs, Alan Zweibel moving him to LA, roasts, jokes, his book “It's a Funny Thing”, Rodney Dangerfield giving him hope, comedy cliques, and why he's moving to Connecticut.  Bio: Michael Rowe is an Emmy Award-winning writer and producer who has worked on many highly regarded comedy and animated shows on television. While still a teenager, Michael began his comedy career as a stand-up comic at such notable New York City clubs as The Improv, The Comedy Cellar and Caroline's. From there, he landed a job writing jokes for SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE's Weekend Update, as well as sketches for shows on MTV, A&E and Comedy Central. Hollywood called, bringing Michael out west to work with Martin Short on his syndicated sketch-comedy show. This soon led to opportunities as a sitcom writer/producer on shows starring George Clooney, Adam Sandler, Ted Danson, and with Eddie Murphy on his groundbreaking animated series, THE PJs. Michael's affinity for the comedic heart and artistic freedom of animation led to a seven-season run as a writer and Co-Executive Producer of the highly acclaimed series, FUTURAMA. From there, Michael joined FAMILY GUY as a writer/producer and soon after, he became the showrunner for Comedy Central's animated series, BRICKLEBERRY. Along the way Michael was awarded 6 Emmy nominations (with 1 win), 2 Annie Awards (with 2 wins), and a WGA Award for his FUTURAMA episode, Game of Tones. He was also nominated for a Canadian Emmy for his work as Executive Producer and Director on Netflix's animated series, THE TRAILER PARK BOYS. In recent live-action endeavors, Michael was a Co-Executive Producer on the hit TV series, 2 BROKE GIRLS for CBS. Michael is currently in development with Supercell creating an adult animated series from their megahit game franchises CLASH OF CLANS and CLASH ROYALE. He is also in development on an animated series with the incredible David Cross, and a separate animated series with Bob Odenkirk. He is also a long-standing, frequent contributor to the ongoing Comedy Central Roasts, featuring such celebrities as James Franco, Donald Trump, Justin Bieber and Roseanne, just to name a few.

Coffee in hand, PJs on, and a heart full of reflection—Jess opens up about what four years behind the mic have really taught her about confidence, creativity, and identity. The biggest myth she takes down first: growth is not a two‑week sprint. Your body, mind, and soul move on a different timeline than same‑day delivery, and real change needs space to breathe.You'll walk away with practical encouragement to take one small step, a reminder that not every episode or page needs to be great to matter, and a nudge to spend more time getting to know yourself than scrolling someone else's highlights. If human design, slow growth, and authentic self‑expression spark your curiosity, you'll feel right at home here. Listen now, then tell us the next brave move you'll make. If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who needs a push, and leave a quick review so more people can find their voice with us.Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love! Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com If you're on instagram, come say hi!!

Battle of The Hits: BBQ summer Edition The thing two guys said about PJs car that she doesn't think a woman would say! PJS not wearing something and she feels VERY naked... The WINNER of our Angel Bay backyard makeover is Laura! What an amazing prize and surprise in Christchurch as she comes home from work and see's all the people she loves and a brand new garden. Matty raised his eyebrows at a fellow runner to say hi, and he gave him a DIRTY look. Was what he did flirting?! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever stumbled upon treasure? PJs local cafe has found a SAFE in their back room! Vlad, a local locksmith thinks he can hack the safe What's the craziest thing a tradie has done in your house? PJ busted her friend doing something MORTYFING! The People's Poll: Would you rather be the funniest or smartest person in the room? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Matty & Producer Sara met Melanie Lynskey last night, and they put their foot in it PJs son nearly killed her! Did Matty say the wrong thing to a pregnant woman?! Producer Sara goes over Matty & PJs Facebook status from 2008 - 2013... can you guess which one is Matty or PJs? What is the craziest thing you've seen a rich person do? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What are you actually doing when you say you're going to exercise? Matty & PJ each read out a headline and the texts decide who should read out their news story! Winner: "Man eats 3kgs of How was the bad news delivered to you? PJs mum spotted what could be the Canterbury panther in the Wairarapa! What did you swear you'd only do once? Now that Matty has his first tattoo will he want a sleeve?! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We recap the Teddy Swims interview and Matty's new tattoo, what did he get and where?! Our interview with Teddy Swims! His brand new baby, how he loves touring and NZ and Matty getting the tattoo! PJS new bubba Frankie played cupid with PJ on the plane, when did your child set you up? How did the "she'll be right" attitude go? Battle of the Hits: Ed Sheeran edition! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

PJ left her bag on the carousal at the airport! Matty nearly got scammed by something VERY obvious Matty & PJ re-sit their drivers licence - would they pass if they took their test in 2025? Matty gets tattooed by Teddy Swims tonight! PJS taxi driver recognised her from the Bottle O years and years ago... See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

PJ lured us in with a headline... "PJS new baby has links to Hollywood star"?! Matty was on PJs farm for the finale of the farm initiation!! How did he go? PJ missed a final notice to pick up a parcel and now she doesn't know what the parcel was or who sent it - can we track the parcel down? How many times did it take you to pass your drivers liscene test, and what happened? Matty turns 40 next year, add to his "40 before 40" list! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome back to the LuxeGen Group Chat! This week, Daisy is joined by Elle Magill and Poppy Edmonds. First up, the girls are kitted out in the chicest autumn shoes from Deichmann, and they share how to style each pair for office days, cosy weekends and nights out. Then, they dive into how to emotionally and practically prep for winter and reveal how they're getting through the darker months. The girls also chat through the genius Coca-Cola campus campaign that's got students making friends IRL, and share their own best advice for meeting people in your 20s — whether you're starting uni or just trying to make a new connection. In pop culture, they debrief Selena Gomez's wedding, Amber Davies' Strictly moment, and the Giacomo x Nicholas Chavez campaign that's giving major 80s fashion energy. They also discuss the return of Strictly, the British Met Gala, Super Bowl 2026 predictions (hi, Bad Bunny), and why more girls are drinking Guinness. TV-wise, it's full cosy season mode and the girls share everything they're bingeing as the nights draw in, while on the style and beauty front, they're loving everything from gemstone rings from Molly Olivia London, to luxe PJs from Chelsea Peers — and yes, they're officially in their slipper era with Tekla's ultra-chic options…Follow us on:Instagram | https://bit.ly/3X0xm27TikTok | http://bit.ly/3jvwlBEPodcast | https://open.spotify.com/show/60SxAVVuD3LrgLdlKuy3uH Panel:Daisy Reed | https://www.instagram.com/daisreed/?hl=en Poppy Edmonds | https://www.instagram.com/poppyedmondss/?hl=en-gb Elle Magill | https://www.instagram.com/eleanormagill/ AD | Deichmann | https://www.deichmann.com/en-gb/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to the LuxeGen Group Chat! This week, Daisy is joined by Elle Magill and Poppy Edmonds. First up, the girls are kitted out in the chicest autumn shoes from Deichmann, and they share how to style each pair for office days, cosy weekends and nights out. Then, they dive into how to emotionally and practically prep for winter and reveal how they're getting through the darker months. The girls also chat through the genius Coca-Cola campus campaign that's got students making friends IRL, and share their own best advice for meeting people in your 20s — whether you're starting uni or just trying to make a new connection. In pop culture, they debrief Selena Gomez's wedding, Amber Davies' Strictly moment, and the Giacomo x Nicholas Chavez campaign that's giving major 80s fashion energy. They also discuss the return of Strictly, the British Met Gala, Super Bowl 2026 predictions (hi, Bad Bunny), and why more girls are drinking Guinness. TV-wise, it's full cosy season mode and the girls share everything they're bingeing as the nights draw in, while on the style and beauty front, they're loving everything from gemstone rings from Molly Olivia London, to luxe PJs from Chelsea Peers — and yes, they're officially in their slipper era with Tekla's ultra-chic options…Follow us on:Instagram | https://bit.ly/3X0xm27TikTok | http://bit.ly/3jvwlBEPodcast | https://open.spotify.com/show/60SxAVVuD3LrgLdlKuy3uH Panel:Daisy Reed | https://www.instagram.com/daisreed/?hl=en Poppy Edmonds | https://www.instagram.com/poppyedmondss/?hl=en-gb Elle Magill | https://www.instagram.com/eleanormagill/ AD | Deichmann | https://www.deichmann.com/en-gb/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We flew to Fort Lauderdale for my dad's 70th and celebrated three holidays in one weekend. Think Christmas dinner in September (complete with matching PJs and a private chef), a DIY Indian wedding baraat with an inflatable horse, a pool party in a thunderstorm, and a Valentine's wig parade that almost sent my dad into cardiac arrest from laughing so hard. Somewhere in the middle, TRID declared Ferrero Rocher to be chocolate Bitcoin, and I nearly drowned in asparagus seaweed, Basically, core memories were made, and chaos was invited. PS: My new single Falling Up is OUT…go stream it, save it, share!! https://open.spotify.com/track/632al5NwDGtoT7OztsNXMj?si=a9d7758875cb4a6e

Nat's back solo! Rants about grubby family antics, getting out and about in PJs and oh wow… she's been on stage! Enjoy! xx Please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. xxx You can find us in all places here; ⁠⁠https://podfollow.com/lifewithnat/view⁠⁠ We're on Facebook: ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/lifewithnatpod⁠⁠ Nat's insta: ⁠@natcass1⁠ Neice's insta: @natsnieces Tony's insta: @tonycass68 Linny's insta: @auntielinny.lwn THE BIG CHRISTMAS LIVE SHOW 7th December ⁠⁠⁠- claphamgrand.com/event/live-with-nat-at-christmas/⁠ The tiny warm-up shows 4th Nov - Dixon Studio, Palace Theatre, Southend - ⁠www.trafalgartickets.com/palace-theatre-southend/en-GB/event/other/live-with-nat-work-in-progress-tickets⁠ 6th Nov - Hat Factory, Luton - ⁠http://www.culturetrust.com/whats-on/live-nat-work-progress⁠ 16th Nov - Hawth Studio, The Hawth Theatre, Crawley - ⁠https://www.parkwoodtheatres.co.uk/the-hawth/whats-on/live-with-nat-work-in-progress⁠ Book Club: Bob Mortimer's Autobiography "And Away" https://amzn.eu/d/begUIQ3 Nat's solo chats: any rants always welcome! Housecoats… let's bring them back?!  Scraping the Barrel: Marc's still adamant that days old salad from a takeaway is an ideal packed lunch - what's the maddest thing you've pack for lunch? Bonce vs list! - Are you a list maker? What's brewing with the Nieces: are we all skipping the end of summer, all of autumn and going straight to Christmas? Group chat ettiquette - the “happy birthday” that makes everyone else's look like they're tagging on! Things we're nagging with Linny about: Chilled walks gone wrong! Getting locked out when you're in a hurry and everything becoming a right faff The Tony talks chatter: Keep your DIY questions coming, also open to some saucy two-paragraph stories for Tony to read out at the Southend show - think cheeky postcards (both in tone and length)! Can we make Tony an influencer and get him any freebies?  Georgina's Fact - What cat have you let out of the bag? Have you been scammed? A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: ⁠⁠hello@keepitlightmedia.com⁠⁠ SHOW INFO: Life with Nat - it's me! Natalie Cassidy and I'll be chatting away to family, friends and most importantly YOU. I want to pick people's brains on the subjects that I care about- whether that's where all the odd socks go, weight and food or kids on phones. Each week I will be letting you into my life as i chat about my week, share my thoughts on the mundane happenings as well as the serious. I have grown up in the public eye and have never changed because of it. Life with Nat is the podcast for proper people. Come join the community. ♥️ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Its a real sleepover this time!  Pinky and Ava are cozied up in pajamas, kicking back with laughs, secrets, and a little mischief. In this special pajama party episode, the ladies dive into a round of “Would You Rather?”—but not your average playground version. These spicy, flirty, and thought-provoking questions were generated by ChatGPT, keeping the fun unpredictable and oh-so-naughty. From playful hypotheticals to steamy scenarios, Pinky and Ava don't hold back as they reveal what turns them on, what makes them squirm, and what they'd never choose in a million years. Grab your favorite PJs, pour a glass (or two), and join in on the giggles and gasps—you'll definitely be asking yourself how you'd answer these questions. LINKS: Three Shades Of Grey | Website MiamiSwings Swinger Podcast | Website “Florida Couple” Rooftop Resort Normalizing Non-Monogamy | Ava, Pinky, (& Anthony) We Gotta Thing — Episode 136 | The Enneagram- Know Your Numbers! Expansive Connection | Non-Monogamy Coaching

BookTalk. Kendall breaks down The Summer I Turned Pretty Finale and Mike has the Dirt. Plus we play 4 and No More and how often should you be washing your PJs. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Kisses from EIC – we're back with a spicy episode...The Bop House is a content creator house made up of OnlyFans creators with 3.6m subscribers on TikTok. They've had tonnes of controversy because lots of the creators who range from 18-24 exaggerate their baby faces and present what some say is a barely legal fantasy with braces they don't need, girly voices and cartoon PJs.Are they the natural amalgamation of reality TV, TikTok virality and online sex work? What is their impact? Thank you for all of your messages! Would you consider giving us a rating pleeeease? Thank you, love O, B, R xoThey Make Millions Acting Like Sexy Babies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack your deep and burning questions! Britt is living in regret of mocking one of Keeshia’s recommendations (once again) after having a run in with a huge, very rusty nail! Vibes for the week:Keeshia - Thursday Murder Club on Netflix Laura - Unknown Number The High School Catfish on Netflix Britt - Mermade M Ionic Hair Dryer Then we jump into your questions! DO I ORGANISE FATHER DAY GIFT FOR HUSBAND IF HE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING FOR MOTHERS DAY?Should I get my husband a Father’s Day present or organise a day for him if he didn’t bother getting me a Mother’s Day present or planning anything? I had to really show how upset I was for him to eventually (weeks later) buy me new PJs that I had already asked for. He barely made an effort to do anything; we went for a walk to get a coffee at the cafe, no planned brunch or anything. I was furious. I ended up doing the groceries with my toddler by myself and she had the biggest meltdown in Coles. I was so embarrassed and upset. My daughter is 2.5 (too young to know what Mother’s Day is), and I’ve been pregnant with our 2nd. He didn’t even tell our daughter to wish me a happy Mother’s Day!! I’ve told him that the bare minimum I expect is that our children know that it’s Mother’s Day, that I get a present and that something is planned. I don’t want to stoop to his level and not make an effort as I hope that leading by example will make him make an effort. But I’m fucking angry. SELFISH FRIEND STRUGGLES TO BE HAPPY FOR OTHERS, BUT HAS HAD A TOUGH TIMEMy best friend is also my colleague. She’s had a really rough 18 months — a divorce just 6 months into her marriage and then a miscarriage. Since then, she struggles to be happy for others. She refuses to contribute to colleagues’ wedding or baby gifts and when another colleague tried to organise a present for our pregnant boss, she told her, ‘I’m not paying you money, you can all f* off.’ She also makes comments like, ‘I wish I got treated like that,’ “I’m Not contributing to that after what I’ve been through!” when others are celebrated. The thing is, when she went through her divorce, miscarriage and birthday we all supported her with meals, presents, and care packages. But she’s never once gotten me anything — not for my birthdays or even when my Nan passed away. I’m finding her selfishness and expectations really hard to handle. How do I deal with this as her best friend without being cruel about what she’s been through?” FRIEND WANTS A SECOND BABY SHOWER JUST TO GET GIFTS- BUT I GAVE FOR THE FIRST BABY!One of my girlfriends within our friendship group announced she is pregnant with another child. The age gap between her youngest will be 6 years and was the first of our group to be married and having babies young. Whereas the rest of us are now having our first baby. She has advised she’d like someone to throw her a baby shower given the years gone and no longer having any baby items. We all contributed to the first baby shower. A few of us have expressed that it’s the first child you have a baby shower and the rest you can celebrate as a baby sprinkle without expectations of any gifts or restock of items they originally had been given from the first child. She has expressed it is a shower she wants and not just a celebration. Is it bad for me to not want to attend knowing it’s purely based on wanting gifts and having a strong expectation from guests? ARE WE GIVING BLOWJOBS?Ok girls, blow jobs…. Are we giving them? My partner and I have been in a relationship for 8 years now. A common issue that often arises is around aligning with what we want sexually. I have quite a low libido and could quite happily go months without sex. He has quite a high libido and would love to have sex every couple of days. We have compromised on once every 1-2 weeks. That is working for us, apart from when I am on my period. My partner expects that I should give him blow jobs in the week of my period. It is something he really enjoys (says every man ever). However, I do not find it enjoyable. Instead, I find it quite uncomfortable, and it feels like a chore to me. I have told him that I do not like doing it, and this is a constant issue that comes up. Every time he asks for a blow job, I am conflicted between not wanting to cause conflict and not wanting to do it because I do not enjoy it.We have had a big discussion about this, and we are going to try to incorporate other things into our sex life to meet his sexual desires without blow jobs. My question is, is this a common issue that couples face? I feel like no one really talks about it, but surely it is! Are people giving their partners blow jobs? And if so, do they enjoy it, or do they find it a chore but do it because their partner enjoys it? (Can we poll this) xSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As if anyone cares on todays show we talk about Monsanto, Roundup, GMOs, Agent Orange, carcinogen, Bayer acquisition, lawsuits, non-Hodgkin lymphoma, seed patents, crop drift, government agencies, chemical herbicides, organic farming, Monsanto strategy, legal battles., Roundup, chemical alternatives, Epsom salts, FDA approved, natural methods, leukemia, paint stores, weed eater, garden implements, ALAR, coffee, PJs coffee, Second Round Bakery, podcast, Washington DC.

Come As You Are: IntroActs 9:15 “But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is an instrument whom I have chosen to bring my name before Gentiles and kings and before the people of Israel.”This verse comes just after Saul has seen a vision of Jesus, and Jesus asked him why He was persecuting Him.  Then Saul loses his sight and is told to go into the city and wait to be told what to do.  Then the Lord asked one of his disciples to go to Saul.  There is a conversation between this disciple and the Lord in Acts 9:10-16: “Now there was a disciple in Damascus named Ananias. The Lord said to him in a vision, “Ananias.” He answered, “Here I am, Lord.” The Lord said to him, “Get up and go to the street called Straight, and at the house of Judas look for a man of Tarsus named Saul. At this moment, he is praying,  and he has seen in a vision a man named Ananias come in and lay his hands on him so that he might regain his sight.”  But Ananias answered, “Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much evil he has done to your saints in Jerusalem;  and here he has authority from the chief priests to bind all who invoke your name.” But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is an instrument whom I have chosen to bring my name before Gentiles and kings and before the people of Israel; I myself will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.”There are several themes that I see coming across in these verses.  First, I always find it interesting when the disciples of God, those who get to have a conversation with Him, argue with Him or question Him.  I always think I would respond differently, and yet, I do get to have conversations with God, and I do still question Him. We are all human, and questioning and doubting are natural human behaviors.  In these verses, Ananias is given a task to do.  God wants him to go and restore Saul's sight.  I wonder if Ananias ever healed anyone before?  Would this be his first time?  Also, Ananias has heard rumors about this person, whom he is supposed to go and heal.  Saul's reputation preceded him.  He was not a nice person.  He was in that town to collect any believers of Jesus and bring them to jail, essentially.  He approved the stoning to death of Stephen, one of Jesus' followers. I can totally understand why Ananias would question this plan. Why he might even be scared.  If he goes to heal this man in Jesus' name, then Saul will know he is a Christian.  What if there are ramifications of that?There are many reasons why we might question the Lord's plan.  I think worrying about our own safety and the possible risk to our lives is a pretty big one.  It's interesting how I can silently judge Ananias for questioning God when he is dealing with someone who has stoned fellow believers, and yet I question God when I am completely safe, and just being asked to step outside of my comfort zone.  My life is not in danger, and yet I still question God's plan.  I still hesitate to do what I know He is asking me to do.  So, why do I always think it is crazy when others question God's plan?  I am the first to say God has a plan.  I am the first to encourage someone to step out in faith and do the scary thing God is asking you to do.  I am also the first one to hesitate when God asks me to do some things.  I am the first one to question and to wonder if I am really the best person to do that.  I question if He really knows what He is doing, asking me to do that.  In this verse, Ananias is actually not questioning his own ability; he is questioning Saul's worthiness of being healed.  This is another thing that we can be quick to judge.  We can all question God's decisions on who He heals, saves, and works through.  Maybe you know someone really great who died from cancer, or was killed in a car accident when they were a teenager, and you also know some pretty terrible people who beat cancer and seem to have everything going for them.  In our eyes, these things can seem very unfair, and we don't understand them. They make no sense to us.  I don't understand them either, so I will not be giving you any answers to those questions today.  However, I do know that God has a plan, and He can use anyone for that plan.  I do know when it comes to the question of worthiness, none of us is worthy on our own merit.  We can't judge others because we don't know their heart; only God can judge, as He knows what is in our hearts.  You can have someone who seems as lovely as can be in public and yet is awful in their private life.  You can have someone who is not very nice to people, and yet that is because they were wounded and they don't know any other way.I saw the movie and read the book called The Shack. If you have not read the book or seen the movie, you should check it out; it is so good.  Of course, the book is better, but the movie does a pretty good job explaining why we shouldn't judge others.  It discusses how we often don't see the whole picture.  We can judge the man who is abusing his wife and child, but would we judge that child?  What about when that child grows up to abuse his wife and child?  We only see a tiny part of who a person really is.  God can use anyone, and He often chooses the most unlikely candidate.  He tends to use imperfect people —those who have messed up, seem broken, struggled, or sinned.  God uses people who can easily be judged for their faults.  These people, people who aren't perfect (no one is perfect, by the way), people who have really struggled, are actually the ideal people to use because they can speak to those who are also struggling.  They are someone you can look at and say, If they could do it, so can I.  If someone who grew up with nothing can make something of themselves, then I can too.  If someone who has been abused was able to get away from that abuse, then so can I.  If someone who was an alcoholic can give up alcohol, so can I.  If God can use someone who is a sinner to do amazing things, He can use me too.  Dear Heavenly Father, I ask you to bless all those who are listening to this episode today.  Lord, let them hear precisely what they need to hear today.  Lord, help us not to judge others.  Give us your heart and your eyes for others, Lord.  Please help us to be compassionate and recognize that there is always more to a person than what we can see.  Lord, give us the boldness to do whatever you ask us to do, even when we are scared, even when we don't understand it, even if you are asking us to heal a really scary person.  Please give us the strength and the grace we need to follow your commands, no matter how hard we think they are.  We can do all things through you who strengthen us!  We love you so much, Lord.  We are grateful you have a plan and you don't let our questioning it get in the way.  We are thankful that you use all things for our good and you don't let us mess up your plan.  We love you and we ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus' holy name, Amen!Thank you so much for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus. I invite you all into my mentoring group. CLICK HERE for the details about mentoring. It is on Tuesday nights at 8 PM on Zoom. You can just come to listen; you don't have to have your mic or your camera on if you don't want to. You can come in your PJs if you like. No judgment here. You don't have to drive anywhere. It's perfect. The theme for this month is Why Forgiveness is Essential. I will go over what forgiveness is and is not, along with why it is so important that we do it. And I assure you, it is more important than we know. Why is it we spend so much time and money on so many areas of our lives, and yet we don't invest in our spiritual life the same way?I look forward to meeting you here again tomorrow.  Remember, Jesus loves you just as you are, and so do I! Have a blessed day!Today's Word from the Lord was received in May 2025 by a member of my Catholic Charismatic Prayer Group. If you have any questions about the prayer group, these words, or how to join us for a meeting, please email CatholicCharismaticPrayerGroup@gmail.com. Today's Word from the Lord is, “I am the Lord your God. I am the one who loves you most of all. Come, my children. Come and know the joy and love of being my children.” www.findingtruenorthcoaching.comCLICK HERE TO DONATECLICK HERE to sign up for Mentoring CLICK HERE to sign up for Daily "Word from the Lord" emailsCLICK HERE to sign up for my newsletter & receive a free audio training about inviting Jesus into your daily lifeCLICK HERE to buy my book Total Trust in God's Safe Embrace

On todays show TFT discuss Trump, EU leaders, fake war, election integrity, federal elections, paper ballots, voting machines, energy sector, nuclear power, crime reduction, Washington DC, federal troops, Biden, Elon Musk, Twitter., community notes, second amendment, PJs coffee, southern wedding cake, Louisiana, chocolate chip cookies, Etsy, cold brew coffee, breakfast sandwiches, WiFi, podcast, listeners, Ukraine, missionary, discussion topics. Don't Miss it!

It's officially 2009 Girl Fall, besties

On this week's Vogue & Amber: Vogue's recording for the last time from Spain in her fancy PJs, Otto's managed to vomit all over her and Amber's back from a bank holiday in Carlingford with wigs, themed outfits, and a Loreen performance. Plus, the return of IMO: In My Opinion with hot takes on reality TV, Christmas films and Oasis, an influencer swimming in actual sewage, a dangerous stiletto challenge gone wrong, childhood collectibles, and the unluckiest people. Watch us on Youtube! CLICK HERE! or search Vogue & AmberRemember, if you want to get involved you can:Email us at vogueandamberpod@global.com OR find us on socials @voguewilliams, @ambrerosolero @vogueandamberpodListen and subscribe to Vogue & Amber on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts.

This episode is really going to be the cat’s pajamas. Or is it pyjamas? Do cats even wear pajamas? Why would they? Why do we? Should any of us wear pajamas at all? And if we do don a pair, are they only for bed? Or should pajamas have their day in the sun? If our PJs are making a fashion statement just what exactly are they saying? We’re talking today about what we wear to bed, but who knows? Does not wearing pajamas to bed have health and other benefits once we settle in under the covers? GUESTS: Henry Alford: American humorist and journalist, author of books including I Dream of Joni: A Portrait of Joni Mitchell in 53 Snapshots Clare Sauro: Director of The Robert and Penny Fox Historic Costume Collection and Assistant Professor of Design & Art History at Drexel University W. Chris Winter: Sleep specialist, neurologist and author of The Sleep Solution: Why Your Sleep Is Broken and How to Fix It The Colin McEnroe Show is available as a podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, TuneIn, Listen Notes, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe and never miss an episode! Subscribe to The Noseletter, an email compendium of merriment, secrets, and ancient wisdom brought to you by The Colin McEnroe Show. Produced by Debora Timms. Colin McEnroe, Betsy Kaplan, and Chion Wolf contributed to this show, which originally aired on April 8, 2019.Support the show: http://www.wnpr.org/donateSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You are not annoying, you're just scared. And in this fire solo episode of the Damn Good Marketing Podcast, I am here to prove it.Wrapped in her cozy PJs (yes, the Nudes I am obsessed with), I keep it raw and real while breaking down one of the biggest fears holding entrepreneurs back: showing up online and actually selling. Whether you're a seasoned business owner or just trying to figure out WTF to post, this episode is the permission slip you didn't know you needed.If you've ever felt stuck, silenced, or afraid that showing up boldly will turn people off, this is your wake-up call. I dive into the mindset blocks, content strategies, and real-talk truths you need to build a brand that actually converts without feeling gross, pushy, or fake.What you'll walk away with:The no-BS truth about “being annoying” onlineThe 70/30 content rule that will reshape how you sellA breakdown of the 5 essential content types you should be posting on repeatWhy knowing your audience's psychology changes everythingAnd how Shelby turned being underestimated into a multi-six-figure marketing empireWhether you're showing up for the first time or trying to show up louder, this episode is your step-by-step guide to marketing with confidence, clarity, and consistency.Grab your ticket for the Damn Good Marketing Live → https://www.shelbyclement.com/dgml-2025Connect with Shelby Clement:Website: https://shelbyclement.comFollow on Socials:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shelbydclementLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/shelby-dimiceli-clement-a9497049TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itsshelbyclementInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsshelbyclement/If this episode inspired you, share it with a friend and leave a review, it means the world to me :)

On todays show the Future Foursome talk about World War Three, cyber warfare, AI advancements, autonomous vehicles, energy production, quantum computing, personal AI, cybersecurity, misinformation campaigns, economic attacks, food supply, healthcare, encryption techniques, robotics, Tesla expansion., future jobs, personal coaches, information sharing, AI replacement, Sydney Sweeney, robot apocalypse, Louisiana, PJs coffee, second round bakery, feedback, podcast, conspiracy theory, James perspective, delicious pastries, cold brew coffee and much more, don't miss it!

Counting Down the Top Ten Old Money Episodes! While Old Money is on Summer Vacation, join us for the encore presentation of Episode 1: Make Money your Boyfriend, originally released August 2023.----------------------------Welcome to the first episode of Old Money! Shake up a martini, slip into some silky PJs and get ready to get intimate with your money- today we're talking about building a healthy relationship with cash. Today, Amber breaks down her 3-step process to making money your boyfriend. From changing the negative dialogue in your head to taking your finances out on a date, you'll learn the basics of treating your money with respect. Plus, you'll receive concrete examples of money affirmations to create a healthy money mindset today.Let's approach money with neutrality and break down any fear so you can cultivate the generational wealth you've been vying for-------------------------In today's episode, we cover the following:Welcome to the podcast and what you can expect! Birdie & Bogie of the week Your relationship with money Making money your boyfriend Step #1: Manage the dialogue Step #2: Respect the details Step #3: Date your money Amber's hot tip of the week! ----------------------------Connect with the Old Money Podcast:Web: OldMoneyPodcast.comEmail: OldMoneyPodcast@gmail.comInstagram: @OldMoneyPodcastTikTok: @OldMoneyPodcast ----------------------------Copyright (c) Old Money 2025.The content presented in this podcast is intended to entertain, educate, inspire and support listeners in their personal and professional development and does not constitute business, financial, or legal advice. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services for which individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services related to the episode.

Send us a textAaron rolls solo to drop a grenade on your expectations and walk you through the jaw-dropping overhaul of the Air Force Special Warfare pipeline. New names. New timelines. New chaos. Is dive school back? Is SWOE-V dead? Will your career implode before it starts? Aaron breaks it all down with brutal honesty and zero fluff. No sarcasm (seriously)—just straight facts and insider updates from the front lines of AFSPECWAR's Frankenstein pipeline rewrite. If you're anywhere near the door to this career field, buckle up. You're not ready for what's coming—but you will be after this.

Anna Wintour's Vogue departure & predictions for the future of print, reviewing Jonathan Anderson's Dior and Michael Rider's Celine debuts AKA $200,000 cape discourse, reflecting on Demna's legacy after 10 years at Balenciaga, and a big deep dive on the Bezos wedding: reviewing the fits, the absence of T.Chalamet, the politics of PJs and more. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this powerful and passionate episode, Natalie is joined once again by Katie Rollings, founder of Fertility Action, the UK's newest fertility charity. As a returning guest, Katie provides an urgent and inspiring update on the charity's current work, including critical campaigning efforts, growing support groups, and the ever-pressing fight against the fertility funding postcode lottery.Together, Natalie and Katie discuss:The expansion of Fertility Action's support groups and communityThe emotional toll of fertility treatment and the gaps in support post-treatmentWhy peer connection and bespoke support are crucialOngoing parliamentary campaigning for fair fertility treatment accessHow to get involved by writing to your MPThe need for a male fertility focus in healthcare strategyUrgent updates on changes to NHS fertility funding in Sussex and beyondKatie also opens up about the emotional challenges of fighting for change while encountering public misunderstanding and resistance and why she refuses to give up.Plans for culturally diverse and condition-specific groups (like secondary infertility) are in motion—making sure everyone feels seen and heard.Fertility Action is looking for empathetic volunteers to host support groups. Training and supervision will be provided. If you're 3+ years post-treatment and can commit to a year, they'd love to hear from you.Male participation in support groups is still limited, but growing. There's a need for more male facilitators and attendees—especially to normalize male perspectives on infertility.Groups meet on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Join with your mic or camera on or off, even in your PJs! It's a low-pressure, welcoming environmentTake Action:Write to Your MP - Encourage them to attend the fertility campaign event in Parliament on Wednesday, 16 July. Use the Fertility Action letter template Join the Conversation on Male Fertility & Mental HealthContribute to the ongoing male fertility survey submissions close Wednesday, 17 July. HHelpful Links:Fertility Action Instagram (Linktree)Men's Health Strategy ConsultationTest Him with Ian StonesFertility Matters at WorkDM Natalie on Instagram: @fertilitypoddy Email thoughts or guest ideas: natalie@thefertilitypodcast.com Subscribe on your podcast app to stay updated

This week, Will and Kie talk desk fans, silk PJs, and The Boss. 

This week on Counselor Chat, we're getting personal—and a little behind-the-scenes.

Are you bad at mornings? What is something that was said back in the day but isn't normal to say nowadays? How often do you change your PJs? Snitches have a chance to get tickets! We end the show with the list! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are you bad at mornings? What is something that was said back in the day but isn't normal to say nowadays? How often do you change your PJs? Snitches have a chance to get tickets! We end the show with the list! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joy is a real cool customer. How cool? Well, let's just say she regularly sleeps in feline PJs, aka the cat's pajamas. Cat's pajamas are slang for something being really cool. To prove how much slang she knows, Joy plays a game of First Things First featuring some of her favorite slang terms. Only the coolest kids can win the game, daddy-o.

Send us a textWelcome back, peasants. In this spicy no-ads-needed episode, the Ones Ready crew tears into the mind-numbing chaos that is the DoD's budgeting incompetence. From canceled bonuses to SkillBridge chaos and the eternal mystery of why military uniforms fit nobody, this is your front-row seat to the clown show that is Pentagon-level “planning.”Also? If you thought complaining about gear was just a “female” issue, strap in. We're about to tell you why literally everyone from PJs to SEALs has been modifying crap for decades—and no, it's not the patriarchy, it's just government contracts. Plus, the AC-130 gets its flowers, JC's got Overwatch, and somehow we talk about dental X-rays and slings made from Pelican hooks.

“My man only brushes his teeth once a week… and still wanna kiss me in the mouth?!”

Send us a textThis one isn't a podcast. It's a goddamn war story. UFC Hall-of-Famer and America's toughest mustache, Don Frye, joins Aaron and Atlas for a conversation that spans decades, back surgeries, ghost trucks, Vietnam comms tents, and mob-backed wrestling matches in Japan.What starts as a laugh-packed swapcast quickly veers into territory most men won't talk about: childhood trauma, fear, failure, the shame of weakness—and the rage that fuels resilience.

Subscriber-only episodeSend us a textStrap in, team—we're back in the team room with retired Chief Ivan Ruiz, legendary PJ, Katrina rescuer, INDOC instructor, and all-around certified badass. We're talking about the upcoming PJ Rodeo, but let's be honest, this episode quickly turns into a firestorm of nostalgia, brutal honesty, and unapologetic takes on what's going right—and VERY wrong—with Air Force Special Warfare.From the high-angle ropes event at South Point Casino to shooting comps, Monster Mash med drills, and jump events open to the public, this year's rodeo isn't just a reunion—it's a mission. We highlight why the Association and Foundation still matter, why the new pipeline model might be wrecking community culture, and why having your mom at your recruiter meeting might be the red flag of the century.We also get real about silent professionals, the identity crisis in AFSPECWAR, and the gut punch of watching “toughness” get traded for lab coats and PowerPoints.

WE'RE WEBBY NOMINATED VOTE HERE PLEASE!Grab your PJs. Close your eyes. No seriously—close them. This week, we’re diving under the covers to talk about the one thing we all want more of and still somehow sabotage nightly. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky