Calm the Chaos Parenting

Episode 57: Are you worried about your child struggling with organization, planning, and time management as the new school year approaches? In this episode, we dive into these challenges and provide practical strategies to support your child's success.In this insightful episode, Dayna Abraham sits down with Seth Perler, an executive function coach who specializes in helping students navigate the demands of school and life. Together, they discuss why kids often feel overwhelmed by school, common challenges during the back-to-school season, and how parents can better support their children's development. This episode is packed with practical tools and strategies to help parents foster their children's skills with empathy and understanding."Executive function skills are crucial for a happy, healthy, and successful future. By understanding and supporting these skills, we can better help our children thrive." - Seth PerlerKey Takeaways:[00:05:00] What Executive Function Is: Seth explains what executive function is and why it's crucial for students.[00:09:00] Common Back-to-School Challenges: Discussing common challenges kids face when going back to school, related to executive function.[00:18:00] Can't vs. Won't: Understanding the difference between "won't" and "can't" in kids' behavior and how it impacts executive function.[00:20:00] The Role of Parents: The importance of parents managing their own reactions and how to support children without doing everything for them.[00:23:00] Backing Way Up: Seth talks about the importance of breaking tasks down into micro skills and scaffolding them to build executive function.[00:28:00] Practical Tools: Practical steps and tools parents can take to help their children build executive function skills.[00:30:00] Relationship and Attachment: The importance of relationship and attachment in helping children with executive function struggles.[00:34:00] Asking for Help: Encouragement for parents to seek help and resources to support their children's development.[00:36:00] Final Advice: Seth's message to parents: focus on doing the deep inner work and view parenting as a continuous study.Additional Resources:Seth Perler's Website: Discover more about Seth's work and resources to support executive function skills.Executive Function Summit: Join the summit for in-depth insights and strategies from top experts.Calm the Chaos Book: Need help getting out of survival mode? Grab a copy of the roadmap designed for you.Free Parenting Style Quiz:

Episode 56: Are you struggling to understand why your child exhibits big behaviors like yelling, hitting, or biting? In this episode, we uncover the reasons behind these actions and provide practical strategies to help you navigate them.In this insightful episode, Dayna Abraham sits down with Krysten Taprell, a psychologist with over 20 years of experience and author of "Guidance from the Therapist Parent." Together, they discuss the normalcy of big behaviors in children, what these behaviors communicate, and how parents can better manage their own reactions to support their children effectively. This episode is packed with practical tools and strategies to help parents navigate challenging behaviors with understanding and compassion."When we recognize that big behaviors are a form of communication, we can better support our children through their most challenging moments." - Krysten TaprellKey Takeaways:[00:00:00] Understanding Big Behaviors: Big behaviors like yelling, hitting, and biting are normal and communicate a child's inability to cope with overwhelming situations.[00:02:00] Krysten's Background: Krysten shares her journey as a psychologist and the inspiration behind her book.[00:04:00] Misconceptions About Big Behaviors: Addressing common misconceptions and helping parents understand the root causes of challenging behaviors.[00:06:00] Managing Parental Triggers: Importance of parents managing their own reactions and triggers to help their children effectively.[00:09:00] Tools for Staying Calm: Practical tools for parents to remain calm, including breathing techniques and self-reflection.[00:11:00] Building Connection: Strategies for building a strong connection with children, even after challenging behaviors.[00:16:00] Handling Behaviors in the Moment: Tips for managing big behaviors in real-time and the importance of taking breaks.[00:18:00] Setting Boundaries: How to set and enforce boundaries while maintaining a compassionate approach.[00:20:00] Practical Tools from the Book: Exercises and tools from Krysten's book to help children manage anxiety and big emotions.[00:22:00] Final Advice: Krysten's message to parents: your child is doing the best they can, and so are you.Additional Resources:Guidance from the Therapist Parent: Discover practical tools and strategies from Krysten Taprell's book to help navigate big behaviors in children.Calm the Chaos Book: Need help getting out of survival mode, one baby step at a time? Grab a copy of the roadmap designed for you.Free Parenting Style Quiz:

Episode 55: In this episode, Dayna Abraham chats with Julie Redmond, host of the Mom Made Plans podcast. Julie shares her journey from feeling overwhelmed to creating non-negotiables that help her navigate motherhood with more ease. They discuss the importance of identifying personal needs, practical strategies to make time for yourself, and how these changes can positively impact your parenting.Key Takeaways:Identifying Survival Mode (00:01:00): Julie shares her experiences with twins in the NICU and the realization of living in survival mode. She emphasizes the importance of savoring moments despite the chaos.Gradual Changes Over Time (00:03:00): Discussion on how small, incremental changes and consistent efforts can lead to significant improvements in parenting and self-care.Understanding Non-Negotiables (00:05:00): The concept of non-negotiables and why it's crucial to determine and prioritize a few core needs that recharge you.Balancing Needs with Parenting (00:09:00): Practical tips for reconciling personal needs with the demands of parenting, especially when dealing with challenging behaviors.Practical Strategies and Habit Stacking (00:12:00): How to integrate self-care into daily routines through habit stacking and creative scheduling.Setting Realistic Expectations (00:18:00): Adjusting expectations to make non-negotiables achievable and avoiding perfectionism.Empathy and Awareness (00:21:00): Using self-awareness to better understand and meet the needs of your children, fostering a more empathetic approach to parenting.Additional Resources:Mom Made Plans Podcast: Listen to more practical tips and strategies for easier mom life.Calm the Chaos Book: Need help getting out of survival mode, one baby step at a time? Grab a copy of the roadmap designed for you. Calm the Chaos Program: Want more support and hand-holding as you reclaim your energy and create more space for you and your family? Join us in our Full Program (only open twice a year) Remember, you've got this!

EPISODE 54: In this episode, Dayna Abraham chats with Gwenna Laithland, the hilarious and insightful author of Momma Cusses and TikTok sensation. Gwenna shares her personal journey from feeling overwhelmed and frustrated to becoming a responsive parenting advocate. They discuss the realities of parenting, the importance of handling big emotions, and practical strategies to improve parent-child relationships—all while keeping your sense of humor.Key Takeaways:Gwenna's Turning Point (00:00:00): Gwenna shares a powerful and relatable story about a moment of realization that led her to change her parenting approach. She discusses her transformative moment and the search for relatable resources that helped her along the way.Navigating Early Parenting and Survival Mode (00:02:00): Gwenna discusses her initial years as a parent, dealing with survival mode, and the challenges of having a newborn, highlighting how she managed those early struggles.Mindset Shifts (00:12:00): The importance of moving past labels like "gentle parenting" and embracing a style that fits your family's unique needs, and how these mindset shifts can transform your parenting approach.Handling Big Emotions (00:18:00): Gwenna explains the Big Feels Loop De Loop, a method for recognizing, regulating, and reasoning through big emotions. She provides practical tips for handling these big emotions effectively.Co-Regulation and Personal Strategies (00:22:00): Various co-regulation techniques and personal stories that illustrate practical applications, demonstrating how to help children manage their emotions through co-regulation.Critiquing Traditional Advice (00:29:00): Gwenna addresses common criticisms and misconceptions about modern parenting techniques with her trademark humor, offering a fresh perspective on traditional advice.Additional resources:

Episode #53: In this heartfelt episode, Dayna sits down with Joann, the founder of No Guilt Mom, to delve into the pervasive issue of mom guilt. Together, they explore where this guilt comes from, why it affects so many mothers, and most importantly, how to overcome it. Joann shares her personal journey from feeling overwhelmed and guilt-ridden to finding balance and joy in motherhood. This episode is packed with actionable insights to help you release guilt and step into your power as a mom."When we're able to release the mom guilt, we can step more into our power as women and make such a change in the world." - JoannKey Takeaways:[00:00:00] Joann's Background: Joann discusses her upbringing and how she initially viewed motherhood based on her parents' sacrifices.[00:01:00] Introduction by Dayna: Dayna introduces Joann and the topic of mom guilt, highlighting the common struggle of balancing self-care with parenting duties.[00:02:00] Joann's Story: Joann shares her career journey from TV and film to becoming a teacher and eventually founding No Guilt Mom.[00:04:00] The Root of Mom Guilt: Joann explains how societal expectations and personal upbringing contribute to mom guilt.[00:06:00] Breaking Free from Guilt: Joann's experience with postpartum depression and how therapy helped her release unrealistic expectations.[00:08:00] Impact on Children: The importance of demonstrating self-care to children and breaking the cycle of self-sacrifice.[00:10:00] Recognizing Triggers: Identifying the thoughts and stories that lead to feelings of guilt.[00:14:00] Holding Boundaries: Joann shares a personal story about holding boundaries with her daughter and managing guilt.[00:17:00] Embracing Discomfort: How to sit with uncomfortable emotions and let them pass.[00:23:00] Connection Without Guilt: Redefining what it means to connect with your kids and the power of micro-moments.[00:30:00] The Role of Self-Care: Why prioritizing your own needs is crucial for both you and your children.[00:38:00] Practical Steps: Joann's journaling techniques to understand and manage guilt, and how self-compassion can transform your parenting experience.[00:42:00] Final Advice: Joann's powerful message to mothers struggling with guilt.Resources:No Guilt Mom WebsiteBooks Mentioned:"Burnout" by Emily and Amelia Nagoski"Self-Compassion" and "Fierce Self-Compassion" by Dr. Kristin NeffPLUS: 

Episode #52: Do you ever feel like you are the problem in your parenting journey? You are not alone! Christine Nieves, a dedicated mother and Calm the Chaos member, shares her heartfelt story of moving from self-judgment and hopelessness to finding calm and connection with her children. Christine's journey offers valuable insights for parents struggling with similar feelings of overwhelm and frustration, showing that change is possible through small, actionable steps and a supportive community.Key Takeaways:[00:01:00] Introduction: Meet Christine, a mother of three with another on the way, and learn about her initial struggles with self-judgment and overwhelm.[00:02:00] The Struggle with Self-Judgment: Christine opens up about feeling like the problem in her parenting and considering drastic measures.[00:04:00] The Missing Link in Self-Care: Despite extensive self-care efforts, Christine discusses the gap in applying these practices to everyday parenting.[00:06:00] Discovering Calm the Chaos: How Christine found the program and began to see significant changes in her reactions and mindset.[00:08:00] The Importance of Tiny Steps: Breaking down self-care into manageable, daily actions that create lasting change.[00:10:00] Shifting Mindsets: Identifying and changing the thoughts that trigger negative reactions.[00:12:00] True Connection: Moving beyond superficial connections to truly engage and connect with children.[00:14:00] Implementing the Calm the Chaos Framework: Christine's practical application of the framework to her daily life.[00:17:00] Self-Awareness and Self-Compassion: Learning to recognize and address personal needs and triggers.[00:19:00] Practical Advice for Parents: Christine's advice for parents feeling overwhelmed and hopeless.Additional resources:

Episode #51: Have you ever felt overwhelmed despite knowing all the right parenting strategies? In this episode of Calm the Chaos Parenting, Dayna welcomes Ginny, a parent of two neurodivergent children and a dedicated member of our community. Ginny shares her powerful journey of learning to bridge the gap between understanding her children's needs and effectively applying that knowledge in daily life. Tune in to discover practical strategies for self-care, executive functioning, and building a supportive community that can transform your parenting approach.Key Takeaways: [00:00] – Introduction:Meet Ginny and learn about her unique family dynamics and background.[05:30] – The Disconnect Between Knowledge and Action:Ginny describes the struggle of applying parenting knowledge under stress.[15:45] – The Role of Self-Care:How small daily self-care practices can significantly impact overall well-being.[25:00] – Effective Tools for Self-Management:Introduction to the five-minute energy plan and the brain dump exercise.[35:20] – Personal Growth and Executive Functioning:How focusing on tiny steps can lead to significant improvements in daily life.[45:10] – Building and Utilizing Community Support:The role of community in navigating parenting challenges and personal growth.Additional Resources:Calm the Chaos Book: Discover strategies to help you navigate parenting with confidence.More Success Stories: Ginny is one of hundreds of parents around the world that have created more calm and joy in their lives using Calm the Chaos Framework.  Ginny's Artwork and Workshops: Explore Ginny's art she's been able to create by taking action one step at a time

Episode 50: In this episode, we interview Libby Ward about breaking the cycle of unhealthy patterns in parenting. Libby shares her personal journey of realizing the need for change and becoming a cycle breaker. Libby, a passionate advocate for authentic motherhood, discusses how confronting past traumas and embracing emotional honesty can lead to profound personal and familial growth.This episode provides not only a deep dive into the psychological shifts necessary for breaking unhealthy cycles but also offers practical tools and heartfelt encouragement for those feeling overwhelmed by the demands of parenting. Libby's candid sharing and the introduction of her thoughtfully designed journal serve as invaluable resources for anyone looking to foster a more empathetic and supportive family environment.Key Moments: [00:00] Introduction and Background: Introduction to the episode's theme and Libby's journey towards changing her parenting style to foster a safer and more loving environment.[03:42] Recognizing the Need for Change: Libby shares a personal story that highlights a critical morning that sparked her realization of needing to change her approach to parenting.[08:47] Understanding the Signs of Unhealthy Patterns: Discussion on how to recognize and interpret the signs of negative parenting patterns that may be passed down.[11:27] Dealing with Guilt and Shame: Strategies to effectively manage the feelings of guilt and shame that can arise from parenting missteps.[15:47] Breaking the Cycle: Definition and Examples: What does it mean to "break the cycle"? Libby provides definitions and examples of how parents can alter harmful family dynamics.[23:49] Moving from Awareness to Action: Tips on how to move from recognizing issues to actively making changes in parenting behavior.[29:25] Embracing Imperfection and Accountability: Libby emphasizes the importance of acknowledging one's imperfections as a parent and the power of accountability in healing and growth.[33:32] Journaling as a Tool for Self-Reflection: Introduction to journaling as a practical tool to aid parents in their journey towards deeper self-awareness and intentionality.[35:06] Overview of the Journal: Detailed look at the structure and benefits of Libby's journal, designed to guide parents through self-reflection and improvement.[39:05] Closing Remarks and Encouragement: Final thoughts and encouragement for parents, emphasizing the journey of continuous improvement and the importance of small steps towards change.Additional Resources:The Honest Mom Journal with Libby Challenge: 5 Days to Feel Better in Motherhood. (a free *journal with Libby* 5 day challenge meant to encourage moms who are struggling to try journaling to improve how they are feeling.)Honest Mom Journal by Libby WardThe Honest Mom website The Honest Mom on Instagram

Episode 49: Welcome to another episode of the Calm the Chaos Parenting Podcast, where this week we're tackling a topic that can make any parent squirm—puberty. Joined by experts Kara and Vanessa of ‘This is So Awkward', we delve into the messy, awkward, and absolutely essential discussions about the physical and emotional rollercoasters of puberty. From early breast buds to mood swings, this episode covers it all with humor, empathy, and expert insight.Are you struggling to discuss puberty with your child without making it feel like a catastrophe? Does the thought of talking about body changes, sexuality, or mood swings fill you with dread?You're not alone. Many parents feel unprepared and uncomfortable when the inevitable questions about puberty arise. The fear of saying the wrong thing, the awkwardness of the topics, and personal baggage from our own experiences can make these conversations feel overwhelming.This episode provides practical strategies and compassionate insights to help you approach puberty talks with confidence. Kara and Vanessa, through their extensive experience and relatable anecdotes, demonstrate how to break down complex topics into manageable, non-awkward discussions. Learn how to navigate these essential conversations with humor and understanding, making puberty a topic that can be discussed openly and without shame.Key Takeaways: [00:01:00] Early Signs of Puberty: Vanessa highlights how signs like behavioral changes or unexpected physical developments can signal that puberty is starting earlier than many parents anticipate.[00:03:00] Duration and Misconceptions of Puberty: Kara clarifies the common misconception about the duration of puberty, explaining that it can extend well into the late teen years, far beyond what many assume.[00:05:00] Reducing Awkwardness in Discussions: Dayna shares personal stories and insights on making puberty talks less awkward, emphasizing the role of humor and openness in these essential conversations.[00:08:00] Strategies for Manageable Conversations: The episode offers practical tips on breaking down the daunting puberty discussion into smaller, more digestible parts to make the topic less overwhelming for both children and parents.[00:12:00] Handling Personal Baggage: It's discussed how important it is for parents to process their own experiences and traumas related to puberty, to better support and understand their children during these transformative years.[00:15:00] Physical Changes Indicating Puberty: Kara and Vanessa discuss the early physical signs of puberty, such as breast budding in girls and testicular growth in boys, helping parents recognize these initial changes.[00:18:00] Emotional Changes and Behavioral Effects: Insights into how hormonal fluctuations can lead to mood swings and emotional volatility during puberty, with advice on how parents can support their children through these shifts.[00:21:00] Ensuring Inclusive and Respectful Communication: The importance of using inclusive language and a respectful approach when discussing the diverse experiences of puberty is emphasized, ensuring that all children feel seen and supported.Additional Resources:This is So Awkward Book by Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll-Bennet: https://amzn.to/4d5N19H Less Awkward Podcast and More: https://lessawkward.com/ Calm the Chaos: A Fail-proof Roadmap for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids: "Understanding puberty is about more than just anticipating physical changes; it's about preparing for the emotional rollercoaster and knowing how to support your child through it." — KaraThis episode provides invaluable advice for parents navigating the often turbulent waters of puberty discussions. Tune in to learn how to approach these talks with confidence, ensuring a healthier and more understanding dialogue with your child.

Ever felt like no matter how hard you try, staying focused and organized just doesn't come naturally? You're not alone. Jessica McCabe, creator of How to ADHD, shares her own struggles and revelations in "ADHD Explained with Jessica McCabe," a must-watch for anyone grappling with these challenges. Jessica's journey from confusion to clarity on ADHD sheds light on the misunderstood aspects of living with ADHD, from the frustration of misdiagnosis to the empowerment of understanding your brain."Every month or three months, I would go to the doctor and it would be, 'how are your meds working for you?' 'Yeah. Good.' 'Any side effects?' 'No? Cool. Here's a prescription.' And that was it. Nobody ever asked me if my life was working," Jessica recounts her early experiences with ADHD treatment. This episode dives into the heart of ADHD, not just as a deficit of attention, but as a complex interplay of focus, motivation, and executive functioning challenges that many find overwhelming.Jessica doesn't just share her story; she offers a lifeline. From practical tips for enhancing focus and managing daily tasks to leveraging the unique strengths of ADHD, this conversation is a toolkit for those seeking to work with their brain, not against it. Discover why understanding ADHD goes beyond medication, how societal perceptions are shifting, and what strategies can truly make a difference in managing ADHD.Armed with insights from her YouTube channel, How to ADHD, and her book, "How to ADHD: An Insider's Guide to Working with Your Brain, Not Against It," Jessica offers solutions that are as real and attainable as they are transformative. Whether you're a parent, a partner, or someone on a personal journey with ADHD, this episode is a step towards embracing the chaos and turning it into your greatest asset.Key Takeaways: [00:00:30] Jessica's early misunderstanding of her ADHD diagnosis and its implications.[00:02:00] The revelation that ADHD is more than just a focus issue.[00:03:00] Introduction to Jessica McCabe and her work on How to ADHD.[00:08:00] The transformative power of understanding one's own brain and the importance of external structures in managing ADHD.[00:14:00] The concept of "brains and hearts" – understanding ADHD from both personal and supportive perspectives.[00:18:00] The critical role of education and tools in managing ADHD effectively.[00:24:00] Insights into executive functioning and the unique motivational needs of ADHD brains.[00:30:00] Practical strategies for enhancing focus, managing executive function challenges, and fostering motivation.Additional Resources:How to ADHD YouTube Channel: [Insert Link]"How to ADHD: An Insider's Guide to Working with Your Brain, Not Against It" by Jessica McCabe: [Insert Link]Calm the Chaos: A Fail-proof Roadmap for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids: Today's episode is not just about understanding ADHD; it's about embracing the journey of self-discovery and leveraging unique strengths. Whether you're navigating ADHD yourself, supporting a loved one, or simply seeking to understand the condition better, Jessica's insights and strategies offer hope, empowerment, and a path forward.

Parents who find themselves on the path of raising a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), the journey can often feel like navigating uncharted territory. PDA, a profile within the autism spectrum, involves a child's intense need to avoid everyday demands and expectations due to anxiety, not willfulness. This episode sheds light on the complexities of PDA, offering a beacon of understanding and support.Joining us in this enlightening conversation is Steph Curtis, author and parent who has navigated the world of PDA with her daughter, Sasha. Steph brings us into her world, sharing the initial struggles, the pivotal moments of realization, and the strategies that have made a difference in her family's life. This episode is a deep dive into what PDA is, how it differs from other autism spectrum behaviors, and the importance of recognizing and understanding these differences.Key Takeaways: Understanding PDA [00:00:00]: Introduction to Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and its differentiation from other autism spectrum behaviors.Steph Curtis's Personal Journey [00:05:00]: Steph shares her initial challenges and the journey to understanding her daughter's PDA.Adaptive Strategies and Mindset Shifts [00:15:00]: Insights into the importance of flexibility and creativity in supporting a child with PDA.Navigating External Pressures and Advocacy [00:25:00]: Managing societal pressures and advocating for PDA awareness and support.Empowering Resources and Community Support [00:35:00]: Highlighting essential resources and community support for families navigating PDA.The Transformative Power of Understanding [00:45:00]: The importance of understanding and accepting your child's unique needs.A Hopeful Outlook for Families [00:55:00]: Offering hope and emphasizing the potential for children with PDA to thrive.Additional Resources:To further your understanding and find support on your journey with PDA, we recommend the following resources:Steph's Two Girls Blog - Steph Curtis shares her personal journey, strategies, and insights into parenting a child with PDA . PDA in the Family- Steph's new book about life after the lightbulb moment and parenting her PDA daughter PDA Society - Offers comprehensive guides, resources, and community support for families and professionals (Website).Educators Experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance- It gives a really clear picture of what it is like to have PDA and some excellent ideas of how to help in school and college . "Can I Tell You About Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome?" - A resource book told from the viewpoint of an 11-year-old girl, making it accessible for younger audiences.Calm the Chaos: A Fail-proof Roadmap for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids: While this book is not specifically about PDA or the experience, it is a guide to help parents navigate challenges from an empathetic and understanding point of view. 

Episode 46: In this eye-opening episode of The Calm the Chaos Parenting Podcast, join Dayna as she sits down with Amanda Diekmann, the visionary author behind "Low Demand Parenting." Dive into a conversation that illuminates the struggles many children face with everyday demands and expectations, revealing insights into a parenting approach that's changing lives by reducing stress and building stronger, more connected families.Amanda shares her personal journey, the science behind demand sensitivity, and practical tips for parents to navigate the high-expectation world we live in. Whether you're a parent to a demand-sensitive child or simply looking for ways to foster a deeper connection with your children, this episode is packed with actionable insights, strategies, and a fresh perspective on what it means to be a good parent in today's demanding world.Join us in this enlightening conversation as we explore a new lens through which to view our parenting challenges, inviting us to embrace a kinder, more attuned way of relating to our children and ourselves.Key Takeaways: Understanding Demand Sensitivity [00:02:00]: Amanda introduces the concept of demand sensitivity, highlighting how everyday expectations can become overwhelming obstacles for some children, leading to stress and refusal.The Birth of Low Demand Parenting [00:04:00]: Discover the origins of low demand parenting and its application beyond its initial discovery within the autism community, offering a universal perspective on the challenges of modern expectations.Navigating the World of Expectations [00:06:00]: Learn practical strategies for identifying and reducing demands in daily family life, emphasizing the importance of matching expectations with children's actual capacities.The Impact of Internalized Demands [00:09:00]: Explore the deeper implications of our expectations and how redefining what it means to be a good parent can lead to more fulfilling parenting.Building a Trusting Relationship [00:12:00]: Understand why reducing demands fosters a stronger, more trusting relationship between parents and children, debunking the notion that this approach is permissive.Empowering Children Through Autonomy [00:18:00]: Insights into how low demand parenting empowers children by fostering autonomy, leading to increased self-confidence and independence over time.The Role of Parental Reflection [00:21:00]: The importance of parental reflection in the low demand parenting approach, emphasizing the need for parents to examine their own reactions and adapt their strategies to meet their children's needs effectively.Additional Resources:Low Demand Parenting by Amanda Diekman: Dive deeper into Amanda's pioneering approach with her comprehensive book, available in both physical and audiobook formats.Low Demand Summit: Amanda shares details about her upcoming summit, featuring a lineup of experts discussing various aspects of low demand parenting. A can't-miss event for anyone interested in this transformative approach.Calm the Chaos: calmthechaosbook.com 

Episode 45: Today we are diving into the heart of parenting neurodivergent children with a focus on Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Our guest, Amy, shares her personal journey navigating the complexities of raising two neurodivergent children, shedding light on the often misunderstood topic of PDA. Discover how Amy transformed her approach to communication, moving beyond conventional parenting strategies that often led to frustration and disconnect. This episode offers a deep dive into the strategies that foster genuine connection, understanding, and empowerment for both parents and children facing similar challenges.Key Takeaways: Understanding Neurodivergence and PDA [00:02:00] - Amy introduces her family's journey with autism and ADHD, focusing on the unique challenges of PDA.The Isolation of Parenting Neurodivergent Children [00:04:00] - Amy discusses the loneliness and chaos of trying to navigate parenting without a supportive community.Shifting From Discipline to Connection [00:05:00] - A look at how changing from traditional disciplinary methods to focusing on connection can drastically improve family dynamics.Creating Safety Through Connection [00:09:00] - The importance of connecting through a safe nervous system and the impact of non-verbal communication.Strategies for Communicating with PDA Children [00:11:00] - Amy shares specific examples of how altering communication strategies has helped reduce conflicts.The Transformation Journey [00:16:00] - Insight into the significant shifts in Amy's family, highlighting the decrease in meltdown severity and improved understanding.Empowerment Through Planning and Reflection [00:20:00] - The pivotal role of creating personalized plans and reflecting on daily interactions for continued progress.Additional Resources:Calm the Chaos Framework: calmthechaosbook.com Understanding PDA in Neurodivergent Children: PDA Society: https://pdasociety.org.ukLow Demand Parenting by Amanda Diekman

Episode 44: In this raw and emotional episode of the "Calm the Chaos Parenting Podcast," we confront a deeply unsettling yet not uncommon sentiment among parents: the feeling of resentment, and even hatred, towards one's child due to extreme behaviors. Tamara shares her heart-wrenching journey from being at the brink of hopelessness, struggling with her child's dangerous behaviors, to finding a path towards understanding, healing, and reconnection.Faced with daily challenges that pushed her to the edge, Tamara's story is a raw look into the emotional turmoil that can engulf a family. This episode is an open discussion about the dark thoughts and feelings that many parents navigate in silence. We explore the transformative power of empathy, patience, and tailored strategies that honor our children's uniqueness, aiming to shift from conflict and resentment to a place of love and connection.Discover how embracing a compassionate and neuro-affirming approach can open doors to reconnection and healing, not just for the child, but for the entire family. Tamara's insights and the strategies shared in this episode offer hope and practical advice for parents feeling trapped in a cycle of frustration and despair, guiding them towards a future where they and their children can thrive together.Join us as we delve into this sensitive topic, offering light to those in the shadows of parenting's toughest moments.Key Highlights:The Weight of Resentment: Tamara opens up about the intense emotional toll of her child's behaviors, from physical aggression to disruptive actions, that led to feelings of resentment and despair.Breaking Point: The critical moment Tamara realized traditional strategies were not enough, highlighting the need for a different approach to address her child's complex needs.Breath as a Bridge: Discover how Tamara used simple breathing techniques as the first step towards regaining control, reducing meltdowns, and reconnecting with her child.Creating a Safe Space: Learn about the emergency and safety plans Tamara implemented to manage and mitigate dangerous behaviors, ensuring safety for the entire family.Empowerment Through Planning: Insights into how proactive planning and understanding her child's need for predictability led to significant behavioral improvements and reduced stress.The Power of Support: Tamara emphasizes the importance of building a supportive community, both within and outside the family, to navigate the journey from resentment to reconnection.Transformation and Hope: Reflecting on the journey from fearing her child to finding joy in their relationship, Tamara shares the profound changes in her family dynamics and personal well-being.This episode offers a raw and honest look at the challenges some parents face in raising children with extreme behaviors. It provides practical strategies, support, and hope for those feeling lost, reminding us that change is possible with understanding, patience, and the right resources.Additional Resources:

Episode 43: In this episode of the "Calm the Chaos Parenting Podcast," we tackle a concern that's on the minds of many parents today: screen addiction. With the digital world becoming an integral part of our lives, it's becoming increasingly challenging to discern the line between healthy screen use and addiction, especially for our neurodivergent children. This episode delves into the heart of this issue, offering insights and strategies from a neuro-affirming perspective that respects neurodiversity and individual needs.Many families are witnessing their children retreat into the digital realm, leading to significant changes in behavior, interests, and social interactions. This shift often leaves parents feeling helpless, worried about their child's future, and desperate for effective solutions.The fear that your child might be addicted to screens can create a toxic cycle of conflict, misunderstanding, and isolation within the family. Traditional advice on limiting screen time may not resonate with every child's needs, especially those who are neurodivergent, leaving parents feeling even more lost and frustrated.This episode introduces a compassionate, understanding approach to navigating screen use. By embracing a neuro-affirming perspective, we explore practical strategies that prioritize connection, understanding, and empowerment. You'll hear from Danielle, a mother who transformed her family's dynamic and helped her child find balance in the digital world without resorting to conflict or harsh restrictions.Key Highlights:[00:00:00] The Digital Dilemma: Danielle shares her family's struggle with her eldest's deep dive into the digital world, leading to a disconnect from real-life interactions and interests.[00:01:00] Battling Screen Time Worries: Explore the pervasive fear among parents that their child might be addicted to screens, creating a cycle of conflict and concern within families.[00:02:00] Shifting Perspectives on Screen Use: Approach screen time challenges from a neuro-affirming perspective, emphasizing understanding and connection over conflict.[00:03:00] Rebuilding Family Connections: Danielle discusses her journey towards re-establishing a positive relationship with her son, moving away from criticism and conflict towards understanding and support.[00:06:00] Understanding Underlying Needs: The importance of recognizing the root causes behind excessive screen time, such as sensory needs, anxiety management, and seeking connection.[00:08:45] Empowering Strategies for Balance: Danielle shares practical strategies for empowering her son to find balance in the digital world, highlighting the importance of flexibility and collaboration.[00:12:30] Success Beyond Screen Limits: The transformation in Danielle's family dynamic is showcased, illustrating how empathy, understanding, and empowerment can lead to positive outcomes beyond strict screen time limits.[00:17:18] A Mother's Reflection: Danielle reflects on the journey and the lessons learned, emphasizing the power of a neuro-affirming approach to navigating screen addiction concerns.This episode offers a refreshing perspective on screen time and addiction, providing families with practical strategies and hope for fostering a healthy relationship with digital technology. By focusing on connection, understanding, and empowerment, parents can help their children navigate the digital world in a balanced and positive way.Additional Resources:

Screen time anxiety? Uncover strategies for a balanced approach that won't leave you feeling guilty.In this insightful episode of the "Calm the Chaos Parenting Podcast," we delve into the complexities of managing screen time for neurodivergent children without falling into the traps of guilt or shame. Join us as we sit down with Jenn McLeish, a dedicated mother from Scotland, who shares her innovative approach to creating a balanced electronics plan tailored to her family's unique needs.Jenn's journey began with the challenge of accommodating the diverse needs of her two amazing children, both of whom are autistic and have sensory processing disorder. Her youngest, fully home-educated daughter, also struggles with Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID), adding another layer of complexity to their daily routine.Through trial, error, and a deep understanding of her children's needs, Jenn has crafted a plan that views electronics as a tool rather than a problem, integrating technology into their lives in a way that supports learning, regulation, and connection.Key Highlights:[00:00:00] Introduction to Electronics in Daily Life: Jenn discusses the inevitable presence of electronics in modern life and her aim to find a realistic balance.[00:01:00] Overcoming Guilt and Shame: The common feelings of guilt associated with screen time and how Jenn navigates these emotions.[00:03:00] Customized Electronics Plan: Jenn's approach to creating a plan that respects her daughter's sensory needs and educational journey.[00:06:00] The Role of Electronics in Regulation: How screen time can serve as a crucial tool for Jenn's daughter to manage anxiety and sensory overload.[00:08:45] Incorporating Electronics for Connection: Jenn shares how electronics facilitate meaningful family interactions and support her daughter's unique learning path.[00:12:30] Strategies for Managing Screen Time: The importance of flexibility, understanding underlying needs, and setting clear, collaborative guidelines with neurodivergent children.[00:17:18] Empowering Children Through Structure: How Jenn empowers her daughter by integrating electronics in a structured yet flexible manner, tailored to her sensory and educational needs.[00:22:05] Achieving Balance and Reducing Guilt: Jenn's success in reducing screen time guilt by focusing on the positive impacts and using electronics as a tool for growth and connection.Jenn's story is a testament to the power of understanding, patience, and creativity in parenting neurodivergent children. By embracing electronics as part of their world, Jenn has found a way to enrich her children's lives while maintaining balance and minimizing stress.Additional Resources:

In Episode 41 of the "Calm the Chaos Podcast," relationship coach Sharon Pope shines a light on the often overlooked aspects of struggling marriages. We have a heart-to-heart chat where we're gonna deep dive into something heavy but super important—knowing the red flags of abusive relationships that go beyond the bruises.Sharon isn't just talking theories; she's lived it, and she knows what it feels like to be in a marriage that has you stuck on autopilot. We're gonna chew over everything from the nitty-gritty of how we talk—or don't talk—to our other halves, and how all that affects the kiddos and our ability to parent wisely.It's all about boundaries today: spotting the quiet monsters like emotional and financial abuse, and learning the right way to argue (yes, there's actually a right way to go head-to-head!). Sharon's going to clue us in on keeping those marriage talks regular and genuine because, let's face it, sometimes we need to fix the small leaks before the whole ship sinks.Thinking of throwing in the towel? Hang tight—Sharon's got a game plan that might just save your ship. And she's not just talking about playing nice—this is the real deal on getting to the heart of what each of you needs.And for those of you who think you're at the end of your rope, Sharon's bringing a little hope and a super practical tip for those days when you just don't know if you should stay or go. She's also got a killer strategy for those blow-out fights—we're talking about setting some ground rules for those tough conversations.So let's dive in, and remember, no matter where you are on your relationship rollercoaster, we've got your back. You deserve love that's the real deal, and we're here to make some noise and help you find it. Here we go!Key Takeaways:[00:03:26] The Invisible Struggle: Sharon defines what emotional and financial abuse can look like in a relationship.[00:08:45] Chronic Communication Breakdown: Discussing how the lack of regular, meaningful conversation leads to addressing issues only when problems arise.[00:12:30] The Argument Rules: Tips for creating ground rules for disagreements to ensure respectful and constructive communication with your partner.[00:17:18] Implementing Change: Sharon talks about applying knowledge and the significance of support in the process of relationship transformation.[00:22:05] Regular Relationship Check-Ins: The importance of "state of the union" discussions and intentionally nurturing the relationship.[00:27:00] Choosing to Stay or Leave: Sharon shares insights on her free training designed to help navigate this crucial decision.Additional resources:

EPISODE 40: Have you ever felt like your home could be calm if everyone else just got along? You've done the research, you know how you want to parent, but your partner and kids just can't seem to follow along? You are not alone. In this episode, dive into an empowering conversation with Tara, a meticulous researcher and advocate for best practices in raising an independent child full of life. We'll unravel Tara's journey through the complexities of merging different parenting philosophies under one roof. Facing the challenges of aligning her detail-oriented and child-centric approach with her husband's traditional, fear-based disciplinary methods, Tara shares her transformative path toward fostering a harmonious family dynamic, despite initially feeling her life was spiraling out of control.She'll walk you through a simple 4 step plan to work with her partner instead of against him and how she slowly started to shift the volatile dynamic in her home. Key Highlights: [00:03:33] Navigating Emotional Turbulence: Tara shares her struggles with her daughter's intense emotional outbursts and her quest for effective conflict resolution strategies.[00:05:36] Reconciling Different Parenting Philosophies: A deep dive into how Tara and her husband worked to find common ground despite their vastly different views on discipline and child-rearing.  [00:06:42] The Ripple Effect of Stress: Tara reflects on how stress and conflict within the family impacted everyone's well-being and relationships.[00:08:12] Learning to Let Go of Control: Tara's journey from trying to micro-manage family dynamics to understanding the importance of letting go and trusting the process.[00:09:44] The Challenge of Communication: Insights into the difficulties Tara faced in communicating effectively with her husband and daughter during times of conflict. [00:10:38] A Shift Towards Self-awareness: How Tara's focus shifted from changing others to exploring her own reactions and behavior patterns for the betterment of the family dynamic. [00:13:03] Building Bridges, Not Walls: The steps Tara took to foster a culture of open dialogue and mutual respect within her family, moving away from authoritative parenting.[00:15:37] The Gift of Acceptance: Tara discusses how accepting her daughter's vibrant personality and unique needs led to a more joyful and connected family life. [00:17:08] Implementing Practical Tools: The episode reveals the specific strategies and tools Tara used to de-escalate conflicts and encourage positive interactions between family members. [00:18:34] Celebrating Small Victories: Tara emphasizes the importance of recognizing and celebrating progress, no matter how small, in building a nurturing and supportive family environment. Additional resources:

EPISODE 39: I Want to Be a Better Parent. Am I Too Late?Join us in this heartfelt episode of "Calm the Chaos Parenting Podcast," where Karen Wickwire bravely shares her personal struggles and revelations as a parent. Facing the daunting question of "Am I too late?", Karen opens up about her journey of self-discovery, the power of community support, and the transformative impact of simple mindset shifts. This episode is a beacon of hope and insight for any parent wrestling with doubts about the efficacy of change, especially in the challenging teenage years.Key Highlights:[00:03:00] Confronting the Fear: Karen tackles the distressing question - Is there still time to transform her approach to parenting?[00:06:00] Breaking Down Misconceptions: Uncover the prevalent belief that kept Karen feeling stuck in her parenting journey. [00:10:00] A Shift in Perspective: Learn about the mindset change that helped Karen alleviate deep-seated resentment.[00:14:00] A Catalyst for Change: How Karen found invaluable support and guidance in an unexpected place.[00:17:00] A Necessary Turnaround: Karen's realization of the vital role her personal well-being plays in the family dynamic.Additional resources:

EPISODE 38: Family life can sometimes feel like navigating a battlefield, filled with resentment, frustration, and a sense of failure.In this episode, we delve into the complexities of family dynamics, chronicling the transition from familial friction to a state of unity and understanding. We are joined by Stefanie Cui, a dedicated member of the Calm the Chaos community, who has remarkably shifted her family's dynamic from confrontational to cooperative and affectionate.Stefanie openly discusses the hurdles she encountered, including the intense sibling rivalry and the exhausting vigilance required to manage everyday conflicts. Her story is a powerful testament to the transformative journey from feeling like a failing parent to developing a profound connection and empathy within the family unit. Her experiences shed light on how the challenges of parenting, often felt in isolation, can evolve into a collective and supportive family experience.Key Highlights:[00:00:00] Battling sibling rivalry and feeling overwhelmed.[00:04:00] From constant vigilance to understanding[00:08:00] The struggle with parenting ideals and the reality of family life.[00:12:00] Unpacking the emotional toll of family dynamics on parents.[00:16:00] The transformation from battling daily outbursts to nurturing calm.[00:20:00] Building bridges within the family: Strategies for cooperation and understanding.[00:24:00] Shifting from resentment to empathy: The journey towards a loving family.[00:28:00] Stefanie's reflections on the impact of the Calm the Chaos program.Additional resources:✨ Connect with our community for support & coaching: 7daystolesschaos.com

EPISODE 37: Unwanted parenting advice, whether from family, friends, or even strangers, can be a significant source of stress and doubt for parents, particularly those with strong-willed, highly-sensitive, or neurodivergent children. This episode dives into understanding and managing the influx of unsolicited advice. We discuss how to maintain your parenting confidence and strategies to tactfully handle these situations.Join us as we share our personal experiences and provide insights into dealing with unwanted advice, reinforcing your parenting approaches with conviction and grace.Key Highlights:[1min:] Introduction to the Challenges of Unwanted Parenting Advice.[4min:] Dayna and Jason's Personal Struggles with External Parenting Suggestions.[8min:] Dealing with Advice from Family, Therapists, and Social Media.[12min:] Strategies for Managing Family Comments During Holidays.[16min:] Utilizing the Calm the Chaos Framework in Responding to Advice.[20min:] Establishing Personal Boundaries and Empowerment in Parenting.Additional Resources:✨ Explore tools for dealing with unwanted advice: calmthechaosworkshop.com/huddle

EPISODE 36: Public meltdowns can be one of the most daunting challenges for parents, especially of strong-willed, highly-sensitive, or neurodivergent children. This episode focuses on understanding and managing these intense situations with empathy and connection. We explore the nuances of public meltdowns, providing parents with insights and tools to handle these moments with grace and compassion.Join us as we delve into the various aspects of public meltdowns, from understanding the triggers to developing effective strategies to help both the child and parent navigate these challenging moments.Key Highlights:[00:00:00] Introduction: Addressing the Common Challenge of Public Meltdowns.[00:09:12] Managing Personal Emotions: Strategies for parents to remain composed and effective during a child's meltdown.[00:11:07] Connection in Crisis: Techniques for minimizing stressors and strengthening connection with your child during a meltdown.[00:14:00] Understanding Underlying Issues: A deep dive into recognizing the needs and triggers behind a child's behavior.[00:17:11] Empowerment Strategies: Involving the child in creating a plan for handling overwhelming situations effectively.[00:30:24] Preparing and Planning: The importance of proactive strategies and empowering both parents and children for success.Additional Resources:✨ Find more strategies and tips on handling public meltdowns: meltdownmastery.com

EPISODE 35: Navigating marriage while also parenting strong willed, highly-sensitive or neurodivergent kids can be a challenge for many parents. Today, we dive into the complexities of maintaining a healthy and communicative relationship with your partner, especially after becoming parents. I'm thrilled to have Dr. Tracy Dalgleish with us to explore the complexities of maintaining and nurturing relationships amid parenting pressures.Dr. Tracy, a psychologist and couples therapist, shares her profound insights on how to foster healthy communication and connection with our partners, especially when parenting becomes challenging. We discuss how the ideals of relationships often clash with reality after having kids, and how to address these changes. Key Highlights:[00:00:00] Introduction to Relationship Dynamics Post-Parenthood[01:22:00] Dr. Tracy Dalgleish's Insights on Marriage and Parenting[05:43:00] Common Challenges in Parental Relationships[10:15:00] Mindset Shifts for Improved Communication[17:54:00] Rebuilding Connection in Your Relationship[25:18:00] Strategies for Cohesive Problem Solving in Parenthood[31:40:00] Taking Responsibility and Initiating Positive ChangesAdditional resources:✨Connect with Dr. Tracy's Instagram for more insights:drtracyd.com/connect

EPISODE 34: Sometimes, our kids show behaviors that leave us utterly perplexed. Like when your child suddenly kicks out of nowhere or when nothing seems to work for them. Or when their emotions switch from "I want nothing to do with you!" to “I need you, I need you, I need you,” all within 60 seconds. These are the moments when we feel utterly helpless, unsure of why this is happening and how to respond. This often leads us to feelings of guilt, a sense of failure, isolation, frustration, and sometimes, even resentment towards our own child.Sounds familiar? Then, this week's episode is designed for you and the countless parents experiencing similar challenges. My special guest this week is Robyn Gobbel, MSW, who used to work as a licensed social worker in Texas and Michigan. Now, she focuses on teaching, writing, providing education, and creating communities for the kids and families impacted by complex trauma, nervous system vulnerabilities, and big, baffling behaviors.She's also the host of The Baffling Behavior Show podcast and the author of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work. Her mission is to teach people to use neuroscience in order to connect with others. Tune in to this interview, where Robyn dives into:

EPISODE 33: The holiday season can be a whirlwind of joy and chaos, especially for families like ours with neurodivergent children. In this episode, Jason and I delve deep into making the holiday season more enjoyable and less stressful for families like yours and mine.We talk about redefining holiday traditions to suit our unique family needs, managing overwhelming extended family interactions, and handling the sensory and emotional intensities that come with the festive season. We discuss maintaining routines amidst the unpredictability, finding balance with electronics, and why parental self-care is crucial during this bustling time.Join us as we share relatable stories, practical advice, and heartwarming reassurance that you're not alone on this journey. Tune in to transform your holiday experience from stressful to serene!Key Highlights:[00:00:00] Customizing Holiday Traditions: Making holidays fit your family's needs.[00:11:00] Dealing with Extended Family: Tips for maintaining your parenting approach.[00:05:00] Reducing Holiday Anxiety: Understanding sensory and emotional challenges.[00:23:00] Routines Amidst Chaos: Keeping normalcy during festive times.[00:29:00] Balanced Electronics Use: Integrating tech in a healthy way.[00:22:00] Parental Self-Care: The importance of recharging for family support.Additional resources:

EPISODE 32: In the Calm the Chaos corner of the internet, we're talking about raising out-of-the-box kids, the ones who don't fit the usual mold and sometimes act in ways that make us worry. But there's one challenge that many parents face, yet it hardly gets talked about.That's why I've decided to dive into that big three-letter topic in this ep - OCD.And I've got the perfect guest to help us understand it. I'm super pumped to welcome Natasha Daniels, an anxiety and OCD therapist with over two decades of experience. She's got the know-how from her professional life and personal insight from raising three kids with anxiety and OCD. Being in the trenches both as a parent and a professional makes her super passionate about this.Natasha offers in-depth support to thousands of parents raising kids with anxiety or OCD through her books, courses at the AT Parenting Survival Online School, and her online membership in the AT Parenting Community. She's also the host of the AT Parenting Survival Podcast. So, if you are concerned or already know that your child (or a child you care about) has OCD, tune in to this episode. We'll dive into all things OCD – what it really means, how it shows up, and the signs to look out for. Natasha will also share insights on how to support and work with kids dealing with OCD.Join us, and let's crush OCD together!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)Who is Natasha Daniels? (01:05)What is OCD, and how does it work? (02:24)Mindset changes parents need to help kids with OCD (05:07)How to talk about OCD with your kids without giving in to it (06:46)Separating OCD from kid's identity (10:44)Does OCD ever fully go away? (14:13)Top tools to help parents and kids crush OCD (16:43)A quick advice for parents worried that their child has OCD (19:29)Natasha's resources for parents worried about their kid's OCD (20:57)Additional resources:The AT Parenting Survival Online School The AT Parenting Survival website The AT Parenting Survival Podcast Natasha's YouTube channel - - - 

EPISODE 31: This week, we're diving into a topic that keeps popping up in our community, and it's a two-part issue.Firstly, some parents are puzzled about how to help their kids at school as they come home on Fridays exhausted and frustrated, or they flat out refuse to go to school, claiming it's just too stressful. Even when they do go, they return home stressed and unwilling to do homework.Teachers are noticing these struggles, too. Kids aren't turning in their work, not keeping up, with or without IEPs. It feels like we can't quite meet our kids' needs at school.But there's another side to this coin. Some parents are pushing for their children to catch up, achieve, and be successful in school. That's something schools want, too - kids to be in class every day so they fit in with their peers.However, what often gets overlooked is whether the kids feel safe at school.I feel like this is such an important conversation, so in this episode, I've brought on an expert who does this all day, every day.Meet Dr. Emily King, a Child Psychologist and former School Psychologist who has two decades of experience working closely with neurodivergent kids and teens.She received her Ph.D. in School Psychology from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and is well-versed in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, DIR/Floortime, Conscious Discipline, and Social Thinking methodologies.Dr. Emily is also the founder of Learn with Dr. Emily™ where she shares online resources related to raising and educating neurodivergent youth. She specializes in providing therapy and consultation services for children diagnosed with autism, anxiety, ADHD, depression, and learning difficulties.She is passionate about empowering parents and teachers to take care of themselves so they can become the supportive adults that every neurodivergent child needs in their life. Join us for this interview, where we'll be discussing the hurdles neurodivergent kids face in school, the gap between expectations and support, the impact of anxiety on learning, and the importance of collaboration between parents and teachers.It's a conversation you really don't want to miss out on!Tune in now!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)Who is Dr. Emily King (02:34)Misconceptions about meeting the needs of neurodivergent children (05:37)The importance of communication between teachers and parents (11:39)The mismatch between child's abilities and school expectations (17:29)Dr. Emily's takeaway for educators and parents (23:58)The first step towards teamwork in helping kids (26:22)Sources for Dr. Emily's kid and teacher support strategies (28:52)Additional resources:

EPISODE 30: I've spent a decade in this field, and the stories I hear are strikingly similar:"My partner just doesn't get it." "I'm a single parent, and it's just overwhelming." "My partner and I just can't agree on how to raise our kids."So this week, we're taking a deep dive into a topic that hits close to home for so many incredible parents out there:Parenting neurodivergent kids without a partner (on board)It's tough, and you might find yourself feeling lonely or even like you're failing because you're constantly hitting a wall. This is especially true when you're trying to introduce something new into your life, like the Calm the Chaos program.But here's the thing - even if it feels like you're on your own, I promise you're not. And I'm not the only one saying this; we've got a whole community to back it up.This week, four parents from the Calm the Chaos community (and even one of our coaches) are here to share their stories.They've been right where you are now, some facing the ups and downs of single parenting, others figuring out how to parent together with their partners despite having different styles.So, join us as we talk about how to calm the chaos in your family and find ways to thrive, even when it feels like your partner isn't just off board but is actually adding to the chaos.Let's dive in!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)Who is Darren? (02:09)Who is Tamara? (03:30)Who is Helen? (04:16)Who is Galikali? (06:00)What about Calm the Chaos resonated the most? (07:29)How CTC affected parents' relationships with their kids and partners (12:05)Asking for partner's support (not permission) when they are not on board (21:40)Advice for parents who are struggling because their partner is not on board (28:01)The power of the CTC community (30:20)Wrap-up (39:17)Additional resources:

EPISODE 29: Ever had that heart-dropping moment when your kid, in front of the entire family, curiously asks about a wildly embarrassing topic? Or the shock of discovering they were sexting? Or felt anxiety about needing to discuss bullying, divorce, or death with them?In such moments, it's easy to feel flustered and at a loss for words. However, these tough topics are challenges all parents must confront at some point. So, what should we say? What should we avoid doing? How can we earn their trust to share what's troubling them? How should we approach the conversation?If any of these questions resonate with you, this episode is a must-listen. Today, I'm diving deep into these exact challenges with the ultimate conversation expert, Dr. Robyn Silverman!Known as the "Conversation Doc," Dr. Robyn Silverman is a child and teen development specialist and the author of the book How to Talk to Kids About Anything (which absolutely hooked me). She's also the host of a podcast with the same title.Dr. Robyn sees young people as assets to be nurtured, not deficits to be managed. With this belief, she spends a lot of time talking, writing, and podcasting about effective strategies for parents, educators, and mentors to help children and teens flourish.In her work, Dr. Robyn confronts challenges with practical and accessible tips, scripts, stories, and steps to make even the toughest conversations and parenting situations easier.Join us as we talk about her latest book and dive into tough conversations, building trust and ensuring our children feel seen and heard in every discussion, no matter how tricky.Dive in, and let's turn those challenging chats into trust-building moments!Tune in now!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)Who is Dr. Robyn Silverman? (01:19)The year when Dr. Robyn was bullied (02:59)When is the ideal moment (not) to act/speak? (06:19)Dr. Robyn's most challenging conversation as a parent (09:32)How can parents gear up to talk about tough topics with kids? (14:56)Building trust before diving into important conversations with your kids (19:30)The science behind hard conversations (25:36)One thing overwhelmed parents need to hear (33:16)Where to find out more about Dr. Robyn and her book (35:05)Additional resources:

EPISODE 28: Over the years, as I parented an autistic child, worked with parents of autistic kids, and met many beautiful and amazing autistic individuals, one thing has always stood out to me:The world doesn't always recognize the wonder in these incredible individuals as I see it.And I've always wished that others could see these humans in their true light. Every moment spent with them has only deepened this desire. This feeling led me to Barry M. Prizant, Ph.D., CCC-SLP, as his book "Uniquely Human" instantly hooked me.And now, I've brought him onto our show. To say I'm thrilled is an understatement.About 50 years ago, as a teenager, Dr. Barry Prizant started his journey helping kids with disabilities at summer camps. Those early years gave him a peek into what these families face daily. Today, he is recognized as among the world's leading scholars on autism and neurodiversity and as an innovator of respectful, person- and family-centered approaches in supporting neurodivergent individuals.He currently serves as the Director of Childhood Communication Services and is an Adjunct Professor of Communicative Disorders at the University of Rhode Island. With fifty years of experience, he has established himself as an international consultant and researcher. He's not just an expert but also a bridge to understanding. Barry co-produces and hosts the Uniquely Human podcast with his friend, Dave Finch, an autistic audio engineer and New York Times best-selling author.He is the author of five books, with “Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism” being notably published in 26 languages. Additionally, he has written more than 140 articles and given close to 1000 presentations at major universities across the US and in over 25 countries.Apparently, he's made it his mission to shed light on the true essence of autism.In this interview, Barry talks about common misunderstandings about autism, how parents can best support their kids, what true understanding looks like, the “it factor” some people have, and more. Join us and see autism through a fresh lens.Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)Who is Barry Prizant (02:07)Why is Barry so passionate about showing the world a new view of autism? (04:51)The most common misconceptions about stims and non-speaking individuals (07:29)The most common misconceptions about meltdowns (13:48)The it factor (24:25)The one thing struggling parents need to know (32:22)Find Barry's work here (37:01)It's okay to trust your intuition (42:30)Additional resources:Get your copy of Barry Prizant's book Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing AutismCheck out Uniquely Human: The Podcast Visit Barry Prizant's website Check out Barry Prizant's comprehensive educational approach being implemented in more than a dozen countries - The SCERTS Model Check out the websites of these organizations that support non-speaking individuals:CommunicationFIRST Communication 4 ALL I-ASC - - - 

EPISODE 27: Ever felt like you're ticking all the right boxes in parenting, staying calm, connecting with your child, and yet, your child seems to be that 'exception'? If that's ringing any bells, you're in for a treat with today's podcast!Today, we dig into the world of peaceful parenting tailored for complex kids with Sarah Rosensweet, a certified coach, speaker, and the founder of Reimagine Peaceful Parenting.She defines peaceful parenting as a non-punitive, connection-based approach that uses firm limits with lots of empathy. Sarah works one-on-one virtually with parents all over the world to help them go from frustrated and overwhelmed to, “We've got this!”She also has an amazing Summit coming up soon, where she has brought together experts from around the world (including yours truly), all focused on parenting complex kids.She has been asking them all sorts of questions and getting tips and techniques that could help parents have a better relationship with these kids.Join us in this episode as Sarah shares the gems from her expert talks, dives into the core of peaceful parenting, and uncovers why it might not click with some kids all through our You-CUE framework.Ready to reimagine a world where parenting is without punishments or rewards, tailored perfectly for your unique child?Tune in now!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)Who is Sarah Rosensweet (01:06)What is peaceful parenting? (02:28)What do we mean by 'complex kids'? (05:20)When peaceful parenting is not enough (09:51)Mindset shift: Your kid wants to be good (13:52)You-CUE framework of peaceful parenting (16:51)Connection - Bonding with hard-to-connect children (20:21)Understanding - Science behind the struggles (31:22)Empowering - Ways parents can work with kids (38:00)One thing struggling parents need to hear (42:37)How to connect with Sarah and get a free ticket for her summit (46:50)Additional resources:

EPISODE 26:TRIGGER WARNING: Today's topic covers self-harm.In this episode, we are diving into a topic that many parents face, yet few openly talk about: self-harm.We'll be hearing from a family who experienced this challenge firsthand. They'll share how they addressed this dangerous and frightening situation and where they stand today.Let's welcome Amanda and Marc Ferraro. This brave couple reached out to Calm the Chaos after discovering their daughter's self-harm behaviors. Understandably, they were terrified.Imagine watching your child hurt, praying things don't escalate while scrambling to figure out how to support them best… Beyond tough. For a while, their daughter masked her pain, wearing long sleeves even on warm days – an unmistakable sign she was in a dark place.With guidance from Calm the Chaos, Amanda and Marc learned the importance of patience and allowing their daughter to open up at her own pace. This trust-building eventually paved the way for her to see a doctor, begin therapy, use therapeutic cream for her injuries, and eventually return to school - a huge step forward.So, if you're looking for more information on this topic, either for yourself or for your children, I encourage you to tune in today. We'll discuss the steps to take after discovering a child's self-harm and where to find support.I promise this episode will offer hope.Join us.Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)No one is talking about self-harm (01:14)Meet Amanda and Marc's family (06:01)When they realized their daughter was struggling with self-harm… (07:10)What the parents tried before they discovered Calm the Chaos (09:25)The first couple of CTC steps (12:57)How Amanda and Marc's expectations of their children have shifted (21:15)Anxiety and self-advocacy in middle school (24:08)Stop, Breathe, Anchor - a simple thing that is hard to do (29:34)Advice to parents concerned about their kid's self-harming behaviors (36:53)Resources for parents discovering their child's self-harming behaviors (39:55)CTC helps Marc at his work, too (45:09)Let us help you (46:32)Additional resources:Suicide hotlines:☎️ 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline ☎️ Crisis Text Line for Self-Harm - - -➡️ Sign up for the FREE workshop 7 Days To Less Chaos - - -

EPISODE 25: Ever felt like your life is at the bottom of the barrel, thinking things couldn't get any worse? And around every turn, it just feels like more challenges are coming up, especially when it comes to your kids' behaviors.Ever felt stuck, as if each day was an uphill battle, sinking to an all-time low and struggling in pretty much every aspect:at schoolaround your housein getting your kids to listenIf that's you, then you're going to absolutely love this week's episode. I have a guest who's been there, felt that - much like many of us. She will share how she climbed out of that abyss and found both hope and a way forward.Meet Rachel Le, an inspiring voice from Ottawa, Canada, a mother of three superkids aged 11, 8, and 6. She isn't just an ordinary parent - she's autistic, raising three neurodivergent children, one of them being nonverbal.Rachel received a late diagnosis and was officially recognized as autistic about a year and a half ago. She also believes she aligns with the PDA profile of autism (even though it's not yet part of the DSM).In our heart-to-heart conversation, Rachel opens up about her and her kids' diagnoses, their overwhelming journey, and the ray of hope she found using the Calm the Chaos principles.Don't miss this episode - it's truly a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.Let's dive in!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00) Who is Rachel (01:17)Understanding “superkids” and the “superpower swap” concept (03:57)What was life like in Rachel's home before finding Calm the Chaos (09:29)Rachel's CTC emergency plans (15:13)Where is Rachel's family at now? (20:40)Managing PDA behavior in children and adults (25:58)Rachel started making plans for herself (31:15)Rachel's message to struggling parents (38:17)Additional resources:

EPISODE 24: Joining me on this podcast episode is Jenifer Beaney - a CTC community member and a mom of four who is going to talk about her adopted 16-year-old daughter, the tough times they had at first, and how she turned it around.Before joining Jen's family, her daughter was tagged "challenging" so many times, and the people in her life just gave up on her. In just eight years, she'd been shifted through 12 placements. (Imagine how challenging that must've been, even for an adult.)She was described as more challenging than any other kid: way off track, too much to handle, a lost cause, you name it. And that came from the professionals in the system that was meant to help her.But where others gave up and turned their back, Jen was all in. She accepted the challenge and tried a different approach - the Calm the Chaos way. And guess what? It worked!Jen got through to this child, helping her feel seen, heard, and understood without trying to change who she was.Now, this teen is successfully balancing both high school and a Community College Cosmetology course. And only 9 months ago, she'd been kicked out of school.Want to hear how Jen and her daughter transformed from being near strangers - with the kid only communicating through screams - to a deeply connected parent-teen duo? Dive into this episode.Her daughter recently said: "Mom, thanks for giving me a voice." That's where their journey led. Bet you'd love to hear the whole story.Tune in now!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)The challenge of calling kids challenging (01:17)How Jen adopted her daughter (07:04)Jen's daughter was written off by the social worker (10:54)A CTC plan that made a big difference (16:04)Special moments of connection (22:40)What to do when they can't/won't tell you what's wrong or blame you (26:03)Removing consequences and punishments (30:34)Jen's takeaway for a parent who has a foster or newly adopted child (36:19)Forgetting structure and rules FOR NOW (39:40)Do not ask them to share their story (43:56)Jen's favorite resource for parenting foster or adoptive children (45:58)Additional resources:

EPISODE 23: We've all heard the horrendous stories of drugs, sex, truancy, friendship drama, and urgh homework, not to mention modern society's constant barrage of social media, influencers, and YouTubers. I'm not sure there is a parent out there who feels confident, let alone excited, about the teenage years. That's precisely why today's podcast episode is so special. Joining us is Danielle Rossi, an Australian mom of three teenagers who was grappling with some alarming situations with her teens. Think school suspensions, drug issues, risky behaviors, police run-ins, and deep-seated emotional struggles, including self-harm and anxiety. It was a period full of slamming doors, constant yelling, and family members avoiding each other.Things were really going to hell in a handbasket until she discovered Calm the Chaos four years ago. Fast forward to today, things couldn't be more different in Danielle's family. They are comfortable just being in the same space, they trust each other, they have each other's backs, they are a true family team now. Danielle's home now feels warm and inviting, something she never thought her family would experience.The turning point came when she discovered the Calm the Chaos program - especially its You-CUE framework. In this episode, Danielle opens up about how she just couldn't think when emergencies happened until she had just the 4 simple steps of the You-CUE to get her through the hardest parenting times (and believe me, she had a fair share of them).For all of you feeling like you are drowning in the chaos of parenting teens, this Danielle Rossi interview is a lighthouse. You'll not only find comfort in knowing you're not alone but also gain practical insights into employing the You-CUE framework through the toughest years of raising your teenagers.Let's dive in!Key Takeaways:Danielle - a mom of three teenagers (00:00)Being alone while navigating teen struggles (02:54)Using the You-CUE framework to cope with stressful situations with teenagers (07:37)You (10:11)Connection (14:47)Understanding (19:54)Empowerment (25:56)What is Danielle's life like after 4 years of using Calm the Chaos (28:56)Advice for parents who are worried about their teenagers (31:39)Additional resources:

EPISODE 22: When I ask my communities what is your #1 biggest struggle, guess what I hear a lot?“Electronic battles”“Sneaking Electronics”“My kid's addicted to their screen!” “Getting my kid to get off electronics.” Sound familiar? Trust me, you're not alone. All of us in this digital age ask ourselves:How much is too much? What's age-appropriate? Is screen time harming my child's brain?So this week, I've got someone who can help us navigate these murky waters. I'm absolutely thrilled to introduce Susan Stiffelman as my guest for this episode.I can say that Susan is actually the superhero of the parenting world. She's been a family therapist for more than 35 years, and before that, she worked as a teacher. So, she has spent her entire life working with kids.Susan is the author of the book and podcast “Parenting Without Power Struggles.” She also authored “Parenting With Presence.”Susan is on a mission to help parents break free from old, ineffective parenting patterns.In this conversation, we're diving deep into the complexities of parenting in the electronic age. We'll explore our own beliefs around electronics, delve into the brain science behind screen time, and provide the key to getting your kids off screens. Plus, we'll discuss how electronics aren't always the enemy (especially for neurodivergent kids) by turning them into a tool. So don't miss out on this opportunity to learn how to be "the captain of your ship" while also staying compassionate and in tune with your children's needs.Join us now!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)Who is Susan Stiffelman (02:09)Helping parents be the captain of the ship (03:48)Using screen time to help kids regulate (09:49)Staying connected with kids while navigating technology (15:44)Understanding why kids are drawn to electronics and why parents worry (19:33)How electronics can be used as a tool (24:14)The one thing parents can do to offset technology's impact on kids (27:28)Tech-Wise Parenting Summit (30:39)Additional resources:Register for the FREE virtual Tech-Wise Parenting Summit - - -

EPISODE 21: Do you feel like you're trapped in a loop? Yelling at your kids, fighting with your spouse, and struggling to breathe under the overwhelming weight of daily chaos? Constantly wondering, "Why am I like this?" or "Am I broken?"Trust me, we've all been there. We get trapped in these ruts of doubt, self-blame, shame, and not-enoughness, not only in parenting but in many other parts of our lives.But I have good news. It's not because you're lazy or not trying hard enough. And there's nothing wrong with you. How can I be so sure? Well, I have a science-backed confirmation from today's incredibly special guest: Britt Frank, author of The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward. (Her book is a beacon for all of us who've felt paralyzed in any aspect of our lives.)She's not just a licensed psychotherapist and trauma expert - she's lived through the struggles herself. Joking that she's “just a recovering disaster of a human being” with a long list of DSM diagnoses, she shares that she's overcome drug addiction, eating disorders, childhood trauma, and other personal traumas. Britt has been on both sides of the couch, and she definitely gets how it feels like to be a hot mess sometimes. And in this episode, she'll be talking about the science behind why we get stuck and how to break free.So, if you need a change, a fresh perspective, or an explanation for why you're stuck in procrastination, anxiety, self-doubt, ruminating thoughts, and more, tune in. I promise, by the end of our chat, you'll love Britt just as much as I do.Join us!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)Who is Britt Frank? (01:32)Why Britt wrote The Science of Stuck (03:21)Anxiety is not an attack but a signal (05:59)The benefits of staying stuck (12:44)Nothing is wrong with you (16:27)Britt's message for parents who are stuck? (18:48)Where can you find Britt Frank (24:33)Additional resources:

EPISODE 20: This week, my dream came true. All I've wanted since starting my blog a decade ago is to help as many parents like me, parents who were feeling helpless and hopeless, to feel less alone. To show them that there is a way out. And this week, My "Calm the Chaos" book hit the shelves and I know it can do just that. Because the framework has already helped hundreds of thousands of parents, move past struggles with their challenging kids and begin to thrive as families.This week's podcast episode features some of those amazing parents. These are firsthand accounts of how they transformed their families using their unique 4-step You-CUE plans, addressing challenges that left even experts saying, "We can't help you - good luck with this."You'll get insight into real-life experiences of moms who used the Calm the Chaos system to:Transform the way they interacted with their kidsTotally reinterpret their children's screen timeManage constant meltdownsOvercome the turmoil left in the wake of a husband's sudden departure and the loss of all incomePut an end to sibling fightsFind hope in a previously overwhelming family lifeJoin us and find out how to fall in love with your super kid again!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)Jen's story: Electronics as a tool, not a torment (03:32)Ashley's story: “I used to try to control my kids” (14:26)Angela's story: “We lived in pure chaos just a year ago” (25:41)Experts gave up, but Leslie didn't - a single mom's story (34:50)Nicollete's story: How I fell in love with my super kid again (45:07)You are not alone now (54:03)Additional resources:

EPISODE 18: Ever wished you could go back and talk to your younger self and tell them everything you wish you'd known?Well, in this week's podcast, we're going to do just that.In it, we asked 21 parenting experts the same question: What message do you have for parents who are struggling, who are where you were at the start of your journey?Because parenting is hard. And sometimes, it can feel like we can barely keep our head above water. These experts are here to offer you a life raft so you can go from barely surviving the storm to thriving. Listen in to learn more.Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)The magic of letting go with Amanda Diekman (03:17)You're not failing with Alyssa Blask Campbell (04:58)Understanding the executive function with Seth Perler (06:13)The five core principles with Aliza Pressman (08:32)Know less with Cathy Cassani Adams (10:25)What is our role as parents with Penny Williams (12:45)Behavior as a cue or glue with Robyn Gobbel (14:40)Embrace the temporariness with Vanessa Kroll Bennett (16:42)Don't get mad. Get Curious with Sarah R. Moore (17:42)“How do I be when...” with Dr. Vanessa Lapointe (18:49)What is self-compassion with Mona Delahooke (19:47)You are enough with Debbie Reber (20:30)Be empathetic with JoAnn Crohn (21:17)The world of mindfulness with Hunter Clarke-Fields (22:44)Drop the what-ifs with Amanda Morin (23:40)Be compassionate with Sarah Rosensweet (24:34)Disability is not an emergency with Meghan Ashburn (25:36)You're not alone with Heidi Mavir (27:12)Comfort can be quiet with Katie Hurley (28:56)Be a coach and mentor to your kids with Debbie Steinberg Kuntz (29:52)You can with Colleen Kessler (32:02)Additional resources:

EPISODE 17: Hey guys, Jason here (again).Before Dayna is back, I'll be doing another solo episode.And this time, let me ask you if you relate to this:You ask your partner, spouse, or your kid to help you with the laundry, and they do. But when they don't fold the towels just the way you would fold them, you get angry at them for doing it wrong.As a result, they stop helping with the towels altogether. Now you get upset and say things like, "Now I have to do everything myself," or "It just never gets done." I know - I'm 100% guilty of that.But why do we fall into this trap? After I spent a certain amount of time learning about new and different ways of viewing the world, I realized that it comes from getting too attached to a specific outcome.It's like when you have high hopes for a much-hyped book or movie and, after reading/watching it, you end up disappointed because you compare it to a perfect picture you created in your mind.So, this week, I want to share a 4-step You-CUE plan for how to let go of expectations and regain control so you can see your relationships with your partner, kids, and other people in your life in the ways that work out for you and appreciate them for who they are.Well, I'll include some chocolate chip cookies in the story as well… after all, who doesn't like them? And if you do, make sure to check out the full episode.Tune in now!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)Why do expectations lead to disappointment? (02:50)What is (not) attachment? (05:32)You-CUE (14:46)You piece (16:09)Connect piece (19:49)Understand piece (25:42)Empower piece (28:06)Recap piece (31:24)Additional resources:

EPISODE 16: Hey guys, Jason here!This week we are doing something a little different because I don't have my partner in crime, Dayna, with me. (Because she's doing some amazing work with Village Impact in Kenya - check additional resources for more details.)Originally, we were going to dive into the fascinating world of sensory processing. But I'm not exactly the expert on the topic… I mean, Dayna has written an entire book on the subject.So instead, this week, we're going to tackle a topic that's close to my heart: how us dads can figure out our role in modern parenting.Because parenting has shifted dramatically in the last few decades, we often do not have good examples or role models in this style of parenting, leaving us lost and unsure of if we are doing it right. I believe there are three important layers we need to explore.The need to go it aloneThe need to have answers and fixThe need to get it rightBy exploring these layers we see how community can bring a profound impact on our lives as dads.So, if you've ever wondered how you can navigate the maze of modern parenting and find your place in it, this episode is for you. Join me as I share my thoughts, experiences, and a few laughs along the way.Tune in, and let's embark on this adventure of fatherhood because together, we can uncover the secrets to being the best dads we can be.Let's dive in!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)A little different episode (01:16)The importance of community-based parenting (03:18)The importance of listening (08:16)The need to get everything right (10:58)Connecting with Eli - Jason's story (16:17)When the transformation began - Jason's ticket to freedom (28:43)Jason's challenge for dads (33:57)Additional resources:

EPISODE 15: Today, we're diving into a topic that I've shied away from discussing for far too long. It's a topic that elicits strong emotions, heated debates, and carries a weight of history and trauma. Yes, we're talking about autism.As parents raising autistic children, we understand the complexities surrounding autism. We know the struggles, the victories, and the importance of creating a safe and supportive environment for our kids to thrive. And that's what we want to share with you today.I want to emphasize that this is our personal perspective based on our own experiences and our work with other parents navigating the world of autism. We're not here to fix, change, or cure our children. Our intention is to help you become the parent you want to be for your unique child.This episode marks a significant step for us, as we open up about our experiences and shed light on the challenges and breakthroughs we've encountered. We'll be sharing our own story before and after our oldest son received his autism diagnosis at the age of 11. This is just the beginning of a series where we'll delve deeper into this topic, providing resources and insights to support you on your own journey.Our aim is to foster an open dialogue and create a safe space where you can ask questions, share concerns, and learn from one another. We want to empower you to have those important conversations, even if you're unsure about finding the right words.So, join us as we break the silence about autism. Let's embark on this path of understanding, support, and celebration of our children's unique potential. Tune in now!Key Takeaways:Today's topic - autism (00:00)Talking about autism without fear (02:48)The intention of this episode (08:07)Dayna and Jason's approaches to fear and misunderstanding of autism (08:45)Our oldest wasn't diagnosed with autism until he was 11 (20:06)At the time of diagnosis, we were at a really bad place (30:07)How the diagnosis of autism changed our son (40:20)Parents, trust your gut (43:10)Our son helped a lot of people (46:19)Episode wrap-up (51:38)Additional resources:

EPISODE 14: Living with ADHD can be quite an adventure!Trust me, I know firsthand.Living with ADHD is like embarking on a unique and exciting journey. Sure, it may come with its fair share of challenges, but there's so much more to it than meets the eye.In this week's post, I am going to dive into the world of ADHD and share my personal journey with it.I share personal anecdotes and reflections on the journey of self-discovery with ADHD.The purpose of this episode is to encourage individuals and parents to let go of the notion of being "broken" and instead focus on accepting and appreciating their unique brain wiring.Here at Calm the Chaos, we aim to provide insights and support for parents raising children with ADHD, as well as individuals who have been diagnosed or undiagnosed but face challenges associated with ADHD.By fostering self-understanding and self-compassion, we can create a more supportive and empowering environment for anyone living with ADHD.Our intention is to shed light on this topic, address common questions, and offer strategies for thriving with ADHD or support a family member with ADHD.By reframing ADHD as a different way of thinking rather than a disability, we can empower individuals with ADHD to thrive in a world that often doesn't fully understand or accommodate their needs.Remember, the ADHD diagnosis does not define who your child is; it simply provides valuable insights to guide their journey toward growth and success.So, let's get started with this episode!Key Takeaways:Intro (0:00)Diving into the world of ADHD today (01:31)Creating systems around your brain to support you (06:26)How do you know if it's just your kid being a kid or having a disability? (11:39)Common challenges of ADHD (17:10)Do you need to get a diagnosis of ADHD? (21:14)Managing conflicting needs in a family (31:45)The importance of understanding each other's needs and connecting with each other (34:29)ADHD does not change who you are or who your child is (38:55)Additional resources:

EPISODE 13: Parenting is a journey filled with joys, challenges, and the constant pursuit of doing what's best for our children.However, amidst the sea of advice and expectations, many parents find themselves grappling with guilt and shame over perceived shortcomings.It's not uncommon for parents to be bombarded with conflicting advice from professionals, experts, and well-meaning friends and family.The pressure to adhere to a seemingly endless list of do's and don'ts can leave parents feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about their choices.This overload of information often leads to a swirl of thoughts, making it challenging to make decisions with confidence.The weight of guilt and shame can crush the spirit, hindering the ability to fully embrace and own our decisions.Instead of fixating on what we're doing wrong, it's essential to shift our focus to what we're already doing right.Every parent has strengths and unique qualities that contribute positively to their children's lives.By acknowledging and celebrating these strengths, we can lay a foundation for growth and create a more empowering parenting experience.To guide parents on this transformative journey, we introduce four primary parenting styles: Grounded, Affirming, In-Tune, and Empowered.Each style aligns with our Calm the Chaos Framework, emphasizing the importance of connection, understanding, and empowerment.By identifying our primary parenting style, we gain insight into our strengths and areas for growth, allowing us to make intentional choices that align with our values and our children's needs.Let's dive in!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)There's always room for growth (01:08)Building off our foundational strengths (03:10)4 primary parenting styles (07:38)Grounded parents (10:28)Affirming parents (16:01)The in-tune parent (23:30)The empowered parent (30:30)Additional resources:

EPISODE 12: If you've ever wondered why the heck your kid does what they do and what it really means, then this is the episode you've been waiting for.This week, we're diving deep into the secrets behind your child's challenging behaviors — stubborn defiance, selective hearing, seemingly constant anger, and many other things parents are usually struggling with.Understanding these behaviors is key to leveling up your parenting game.Now, let me share my not-so-secret superpower of understanding people… I used to think it was something I could only keep to myself. But then, bam! Working with a mentor, I use it to create this behavior-dominant types quiz that's been taken by over a quarter of a million parents. The feedback's been insane, with parents going, “Are you peeking into my home? How do you know my kid?” Well, no, we're not spying on you.However, while every child is unique and doesn't neatly fit into categories, my experience working with thousands of families worldwide has revealed some common patterns - specifically, five distinct behavior types.This discovery led me down the path to creating a quiz/assessment that will provide you with insights into your child's behavior type and how it influences your parenting approach.So, if you're ready to shift your focus from your kids' flaws to embracing their strengths and the positive aspects of their behavior, join us for this conversation.We're going to unravel the five behavior types, explore their struggles and superpowers, and equip you with practical tips on how to handle those behaviors in the heat of the moment.Let's dive in!Key Takeaways:What does your child's behavior mean (00:00)Dayna's dominant behavior types quiz (02:25)The concept of the episode - explanation (09:10)Five dominant behavior types (10:37)Creative type (11:57)Fierce type (19:39)Spirited type (29:11)Unique type (38:26)Adventurous type (47:01)Take the quiz (55:28)Additional resources:

EPISODE 11: What does it mean to you to be connected with your kid? When you say “connection”, what comes to your mind? I ask this because I believe that there's this whole misconception about what connection truly means. Many people have this idealized idea of connection time, having a picture-perfect scene straight out of Pinterest or a Disney movie in their heads. You know, birds chirping in the background, magical moments, and all that jazz. We're bombarded with advice, like spending 15 minutes individually with each of our eight kids every day or having this uninterrupted quality time without any distractions. And if we don't do that every single day, we're made to feel like we're ruining our relationship with our kids. This puts great pressure on modern parents, especially single parents, parents with their own neurodivergence, or those who are already dealing with a ton of stress and juggling a million things.Connecting with our kids in the way experts suggest can seem like an impossible task. That's why, in this week's episode, we're going to apply our Calm the Chaos framework to tackle a common concern that so many of us parents have: Not having enough time to connect with our kids. I get it - life is crazy, schedules are packed, and there are just never enough hours in the day.So, we'll dive deep into how you can establish meaningful connections with your kids, even in the midst of the difficulties of being stressed, busy, and lacking time in your daily routine.We'll create a 4-step You-CUE plan and provide you with practical ideas that you can implement in your everyday life.So, tune in and find out how you can connect with your kids, even if time is scarce and life feels chaotic. P.S. Just to keep it real with you - depending on where you're at in your parenting journey, some of these suggestions might not be doable just yet. And that's OK - progress is what matters, even if it's just one small step at a time.Let's do it!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)The usual perception of what connection is (01:22)What connection really is (08:19)The role of body language and nonverbal communication (11:52)The You-CUE plan (12:52)You (13:19)Connect (17:01)Understand (22:43)Empower (29:02)A tiny connection step you can do now (34:08)Additional resources:

EPISODE 10: If you're going through struggles with your spouse or partner, whether it's about the kids' behavior, money matters, or anything else, ask yourselves: Do you both really want to be together and build a family? Are you on the same page when it comes to your destination?If the answer is “Yes,” then this episode is just what you need. And even if your answer is "No" or "I don't know," this episode may help you see things from a different perspective and recognize that your partner:doesn't hurt you deliberatelywants the best for your kidsis still your soul mate and the person you fell in love with… But sometimes, life gets in the way, and we forget about these things…In this episode, we're digging deeper into the question of "What do I do if my spouse isn't on board?" This is part two of our discussion, where we'll chat about finding common ground, aligning your approaches, and getting your partner on board with the Calm the Chaos way.If you missed the first part, don't worry! Go ahead and give it a listen. And if you've already tuned in, welcome back! Let's keep this conversation going.This time we'll be sharing the 4-step Calm the Chaos framework to finding common ground and building a successful co-parenting journey.Just remember, you're in this together, and you can succeed one tiny step at a time. I know because we used to be there.As I've already mentioned - at the beginning of our parenting journey, Jason and I weren't on the same page. Actually, we faced our fair share of challenges and had lots of disagreements, worries, and fears about where our parenting adventure was headed.Just like in the first part of this episode, we'll continue spilling many juicy details of our story — the ups, the downs, and everything in between.So, if you find yourself in a similar situation, feeling like you and your partner will never see eye to eye, be sure to tune into this part of the episode and find out how to create a plan to align with your partner.But before that, always remember: you can have disagreements, choose different paths, and still reach the same destination — becoming the best possible parenting team for your children and building a thriving family.Let's dive in!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)You - your interpretation of your partner's behavior (01:48)Connect (11:01)Understand - getting your partner's perspective (20:44)Empower (26:58)Using the You-CUE framework at every stage (35:30)The key takeaway (36:49)You-CUE wrap-up (42:18)Additional resources:

EPISODE 9: "We don't parent that way."If you've ever said that to your partner and received a fiery glare in return, don't worry, you're not alone. It's frustrating when you and your partner can't see eye to eye on parenting decisions. Trust me, many couples face this same struggle.One question we hear all the time from parents who join our program or attend our free workshops is: "What do I do if my spouse isn't on board?" (Yep, that's exactly how they put it.)In this episode, we're diving deep into this topic. We'll talk about finding common ground, aligning your approaches, and getting your partner on board with the Calm the Chaos way. Especially when it means straying away from the traditional parenting methods we all grew up with.In fact, our conversation was so rich that we decided to split it into two episodes. Not just because of that, but because we know this issue hits home for many parents out there.At the beginning of our parenting journey, Jason and I weren't on the same page. Actually, we faced our fair share of challenges. In this episode, we'll spill many juicy details of our story — the ups, the downs, and everything in between.You'll get to hear about Jason's experience as a stepdad and how he struggled at first to embrace the Calm the Chaos approach. We had lots of disagreements, worries, and fears about where our parenting adventure was headed.There was even a point when things hit rock bottom. We reached a breaking point, and for two weeks, our family was split. I took the boys and stayed in a hotel, while Jason sought refuge with our daughter at his parents' place.I honestly thought we were on the brink of divorce. But we decided to fight for our family, and we've come a long way since then.So, if you're in a similar situation, feeling like you and your partner will never be on the same page, we want you to know that there's hope. We've been there, and we want to help you navigate through the chaos.Make sure to tune in to this episode as Jason and I reveal our personal journey and the hurdles we (and countless other parents) had to overcome before becoming a kick-ass parenting team. Let's do this!Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)Dayna and Jason's parenting journey (01:59)A turtle episode (14:57)One of the biggest challenges in the Calm the Chaos program (16:29)When just one of us does research about parenting (20:05)The You-CUE plan for parenting when you're not on the same page - introduction (22:24)Additional resources:

EPISODE 8: Are you ready to challenge traditional notions of parenting and create a family ecosystem centered on teamwork and mutual understanding? I'm talking about an ecosystem where everyone's voices are heard and each family member's needs are valued.Sounds like something out of a dream, right?Well, guess what? It's definitely possible, and we're here to show you how. This is the final stage of our Family Road Map. I know the idea of individualizing parenting and ditching the cookie-cutter approach can seem overwhelming. You might be thinking, "Hey, I've got four kids - how am I supposed to parent each one differently?" But here's the thing — you DON'T HAVE to handle each kid separately. The secret sauce lies in shifting from solely relying on parents to adopting a team approach.Think of it as creating a biosphere within your family, where each member relies on and supports one another for survival. This is what a family should be — a cohesive unit that operates as a team.Of course, we've tested these strategies on our own family before sharing them with others (we've been like guinea pigs in this case). Over almost a decade of working online, we've witnessed countless families implementing these techniques, allowing us to identify areas of improvement and fine-tune the system. And it works - we've got hundreds of thousands of success stories to prove it! So, if you're ready to turn your family into the ultimate dream team that supports and uplifts each other, then you don't want to miss this episode. We're diving deep into creating family success plans, and we're excited to share the insights with you.Join us as we unravel the secrets to building a thriving family ecosystem that fosters teamwork and support. Tune in now!Key Takeaways:Creating a family ecosystem that works together (00:00)What is different about the family team approach (04:46)Road Map Stage 5: Family Success (07:02)A family team approach vs. traditional parenting (15:55)The 4-step family success plan (24:46)What could have been a nightmare situation worked out really well (31:06)The key takeaway from this episode (38:56)Recap (44:37)Additional resources:

EPISODE 7: Imagine a world where parenting isn't like playing an endless game of Whack-a-Mole, where you're not constantly bouncing from one struggle to the next. Sounds too good to be true? Well, this week, we're here to tell you it's actually possible.In this episode, we're diving into the Ahead of the Moment stage of the Family Road Map. It's all about leaving reactive parenting behind and stepping into the realm of proactive strategies and empowerment.The point is to shift our perspective and become true collaborators and partners with our children. Throughout the earlier stages, we've learned the importance of staying calm, shifting our mindset, saving our energy, and weathering storms together.But now, it's time to level up!In this stage, we're done with constantly extinguishing fires and arguing about shoes, electronics, and bike rides. It's time to get strategic. We're becoming problem-solving sidekicks, guides, and mentors instead of mere disciplinarians.Because here's the thing: in this stage, we're not just parenting — we're empowering, guiding, and nurturing our kids' growth.The real beauty of this stage lies in equipping children with the skills to navigate life, communicate effectively, and advocate for themselves.It's a game-changer, really. They learn to understand their own needs and find constructive ways to express them, how to problem solve, be compassionate, and truly listen to others.So tune in, and let's prevent challenging behaviors before they even appear. Get ready to be ahead of the moment! Key Takeaways:Intro (00:00)Dayna caused a ruckus on her Facebook page (00:57)Today's topic: Getting ahead of challenging behaviors (07:12)The big D word - discipline (10:42)How to approach a bad situation in a leadership way (12:36)Bedtime routine challenges (16:40)The 4-step ahead-of-the-moment plan (21:05)You (22:04)Connect (24:48)Understand (30:12)Empower (34:29)Recap (41:43)Additional resources: