Delusions of Grandeur: The Podcast

Capitalism and corporatism. Capitalism's nemesis. The shift to the right as you age. The dystopian hell of Communism. Competition. The utopian myth. Capitalism equals freedom, socialism equals poverty. Freedom as a basic human right. The middle path. Universal basic income. The rat race vs.  serfdom toil. Ballooning bureaucracies. Loose Larry David. People are shitty. Hitting the professional jackpot. Good-sounding slogans. The power of incentive. The attack on meritocracy. Freedom within reason. Smashing capitalism on your laptop. Blaming capitalism for everything. The Orwellian watering down of words. Sexy Ben Shapiro. Living longer, working longer? The work-life balance. Junk food for your brain. Simple boners. Overwhelm as relaxing. Just sitting. The intolerance of boredom. Gen Alpha as cyborgs. Money tainting. Touching dicks. (Recorded on March 19, 2024)

Acceptance over love. Old, gross, and free. The body dysmorphic days of youth. Utilitarian bodies. Has the body positive movement gone too far? Extremely extreme. The Ozempic epidemic. The obsession with skinny. Margarine, bagels, skim milk, and Jane Fonda. Hot dad bods. If Stephen Hawking had been a woman. BMI = Bogus Measurement Index. The microbiome brain. Foot fetishes. When your boobs and belt touch. Exercising your mindset. Phantom stress. Vag-eye-nally vs. Vaginally. Being a blur. Turning down sex because the lighting is bad. Flappin' in the wind. Being a nude model. A woman of the darkness. (Recorded on March 4, 2024)

The exchange of information about someone who is absent. Drake's dick. Alliances. Social bonding through talking smack. Men vs. women. Are people's lives boring or fascinating? The water cooler. Venting about bad bosses. Shrugging off rumours. Positive gossip. Privacy as a retro phenomenon. Fighting as entertainment. Are rate your date sites ethical? Figuring out who you can trust. Taking things you hear lightly. Nosy neighbours. The torture of small talk. The value of chill people. Judging other people. The workplace as gossip ground zero. Social media gossip. The art of pretending to listen when you don't care. Police people. Fucking with what people think. Digital media literacy. Is minding your own business selfish? Creeping on Twitter. Is being out of touch with popular culture a bad or good thing? The hot goss of 2024. Carmen can't stop bringing up Drake's dick. Do balls float in the bath? (Recorded on February 17, 2024)

Zero executive function. Jocko Willink. Mind control. How does discipline equal freedom? Carmen's boner for discipline. Living for pleasure. Going Goggins. Callusing your mind. Pushing yourself past your limits. Focusing on focusing. Making excuses. Being lazy. Podcast and audiobook revolution. Doing things you don't want to do. The slight edge. Mental tricks. Being honest with yourself. Forgiving and moving forward. Clear goals. Discipline vs. willpower. Discipline equals action. Tiny tasks. Slogging. Addiction recovery the lazy way. Scrubbin' the tub. Too much routine. Paperwork. Getting back on track. Bailing on your own wedding. Uncomfortable relaxing. Peace of mind vs. experience. Crying in the bathroom. The shame spiral. Keeping your promises. Perfectionism. Rest and recuperation. A growth mindset. Doing everything high. Croaking crows. (Recorded on February 9, 2024)

How misunderstood narcissism is. The different types. Trauma response vs. genetic. How to spot a narcissist. The danger of lacking self-awareness. Extravagant gifts. Image obsession. Stonewalling. Gaslighting. Feeling crazy. No apologies. Who makes a good narcissistic target. Love bombing. Mirroring. Paying attention to microexpressions. Inability to love. No accountability. Shame. Empty words. Love as a verb. Narcissists as empty parasites. Are Boomers more narcissistic than other generations? Is social media creating narcissists? Word salad. Smashing your head against a brick wall vs. arguing with a narcissist. Intermittent reinforcement. Walking on eggshells. Projection. Gut feelings. Leaving a narcissist. Trauma bonds. Door slams. The Narcissistic Trolley Problem. Red flags. Lack of empathy. (Recorded on January 21, 2024)

Janet swoons over Sam Harris again. Meditation apps. Meditation misconceptions. Being present. The ten breath challenge. Dropping back into yourself. ADHD background whizzing. Simple, but difficult. Mind control. Neurological spasms. Changing the channel. Living in the now. Not in my life, not in my mind. Meditation in the schools. Meditation while driving. Bicep crunches. Bedtime party time. Sauna pukes. The ego. Our peaceful corner. Reaching enlightenment. Silent retreats. People hating on the good. Stoned meditation. Collective consciousness as one big glob. We're all you. Book recommendations: Ten Percent Happier by Dan Harris. Anything written by John Kabat-Zinn or Rupert Spira. (Recorded on January 1, 2024)

Janet shares some things that have helped her mental health. Sleep, stress, exercise, nutrition, blah, blah, blah. Coping with psycho feelings. When inaction is the best action. The importance of introspection. Solitude vs. isolation. Weed and rumination. Observing your thoughts. The power and paradox of meditation. Deeply breathing. Knowledge as medicine. Getting outside of yourself. Mental health as a privilege. Depressed cavemen. Progressive politics being a destroyer of mental health. Grey thoughts as good thoughts. Self-absorbed self-actualization. Keeping busy. Anxiety as fuel. Hormones. Routine grounding. Knowing your triggers. Angsty music. Neurotic genius. Crying in the shower. Moping over menses. Mental health advocacy. The dangers of diagnosis. Talk therapy. (Recorded on December 28, 2023)

Janet has no voice and Googles saltwater. The relativity of success. Death as your North Star. The good habit of not thinking. Doers vs. thinkers. Overdoers. The myth of the rat race. Losing joy. Five-year plans. Trying to be someone you are comfortable with. Squirelling nuts away. Mentors and role models. Being the master of your domain. Happy success. Deathbed mentality. How other people see you. Successfully ignoring your thoughts. Knowing you don't know. Little successes. Boldness. Being a successful failure. Dying of shame. The importance of perspective. Resolutions. Making things weird. Prefer not to say boxes. (Recorded on December 5, 2023)

Why can't you criticize religion? Atheism vs. Agnosticism. Religion as comfort. Suspending disbelief. Religion as a concept. Do people actually believe? Religion as a vintage version of science. Religion as future cringe. Do humans have religious holes? Ayaan Hirsi Ali's recent conversion to Christianity. The Great Replacement Theory. Virtue signalling and self-righteousness. Confident beliefs. Having faith. Is it child abuse to raise religious children? Is A.I. going to become religious? Sinning and control. Good people doing bad things. Spirituality vs. Religion. Enjoying the unknown. Using God to torture. (Recorded on November 19, 2023)

Holy moly, people are lonely. Feeling alone around others. The joys of solitude. Not fitting in. Sucky social mores. Not having friends. Does social media help or hinder the loneliness epidemic? Quality over quantity. Things people talk about. Being creative. Finding other freaks. People who complain all of the time. The signals you send out into the world. Little connections. Making people laugh. The power of listening. Learning self-awareness. Human stupidity exposure. Are people getting crankier? The power of a smile. Stranger danger. The creep factor. Your imagination as your best friend or your biggest foe. Jumbleweeds. Is Snoop Dogg's personal joint roller out of a job? (Recorded November 17, 2023)

Janet and Carmen are back with a new season of nonsense. In this episode, they probe each other's brains with the most pressing questions of the day. Celebrity ringtones. Conspiracy theories. Moral quandaries. Unpopular opinions. Smells. Good advice. Pretending to have purpose. Not killing yourself. Empathy vs. intelligence. Religion. X bombs. Crying on Mondays. The superior sense. Is love still real if it goes away? Stiff and awkward hugs.   (Recorded October 29, 2023)

The mysterious female orgasm. An Eager Beaver addiction. Scratching Yoda behind the ears. Cleaning the pipes. Porn addiction. Watching naked people move their bodies around. Spank banks. Stoned orgasms. Horny words. A practical sleep aid. Binge jerking. Connecting with yourself. Sex enhancing. Post-nut sleepies. Proctologist treasures. Working the jets. Being sensitive inside and out. Mutual masturbation. Hot, sexy brains. Fantasies not coming true. Rubbing the lip. Faking it. The right headspace. Prince Charming. The horny spectrum. (Recorded on July 23, 2023)

Janet and Carmen take a trip down memory lane. Getting stuck in the generation you came of age in. Kurt is still everywhere. The evolution of telephones. Gen Z guinea pigs. Technological temptations. Gen X doesn't give af. '90s icons. Internet ambivalence. The price of convenience. Expected instant reactions. Late technological adopters. Fried dopamine receptors. The slow creep of fast change. Being repulsed by your own creation. Dad dicks. Mortifying google searches. Nose hairs. The illusion of time. The diffusion of mainstream culture. Fast fashion islands. (Recorded on July 14, 2023)

Carmen and Janet expand the horizon of their minds. Are plants conscious? The Case Against Reality. Eastern Philosophy. Meditation. Shared consciousness. Living in a simulation. Panpsychism. Everything is vibrating. The double slit experiment. Higher states of consciousness. Is space-time real? Lucid dreaming. Everything is energy. The tree in the forest. Carmen's witchiness. The subjective nature of reality. Locked-in syndrome. Animal consciousness. The life force. Quantum mechanics. The ego. Spreading love. Emotional apes. We are all light and love. Idiocracy. We're like beavers with sticks. (Recorded on June 12, 2023)

The sudden realization of reaching middle age. When the disappointments of midlife get to you. Internal vs. external locus of control. Denial and the stages of a midlife crisis. Carmen's multiple mini midlife crises. Janet's love of middle age. Stopping and reflecting. People dropping off. You doing you. Making it halfway. The midlife spiritual awakening. The bummers of midlife. The importance of good lighting. Sexy insides. Aging ungracefully. The delicate body. Birthday inventories. Death denial. Surprise hair sprouts. Bless those Boomers. Being invisible. The wise whys. Busting out of the box. (Recorded on May 28, 2023)

Deontological vs. consequentialist ethics. The trolley problem. Societal breakdown. Solar plexus feelings. The Machiavelli delusion. Empowered victims. Protecting well-being. Moral relativism. The Bizarro World. Rationalizing cognitive dissonance. Following your gut. Aristotle's middle path. Missing character. Admirable qualities. The comfort of deluded little bubbles. Moral slips. Reaching for the fresh fruit in the back. Secrets. (Recorded on May 16, 2023)

UAPs are the new UFOs. Are we seriously alone? The Fermi Paradox. Being a believer vs. being skeptical. The way of the human brain. Little green men. Careful documentaries. Europa. Are we just the early birds? Thank god for Jupiter. All of us are miracles. Was human consciousness an accident? How embarrassing it would be if we were being watched? Life as an alien game. The Earth ant farm. We need an alien invasion. Being an alien on earth. Listening but not believing. What the heck does it all mean? Beam me up at 75. Feeling kinda meh about A.I. Naked aliens. Intelligent dinosaurs. Are flat earthers for real? Transhuman. The alien aesthetic. Peeing while you go with the flow. (Recorded on May 1, 2023)

Trauma, drama and the Dalai Lama. Realizing in middle age that you had childhood trauma. What does processing trauma even mean? How do you know if you have processed trauma? Healthy vagueness. Watering down the term. Minor traumas being big traumas. The trauma spectrum. Exposure therapy. Running away from your shit. The trauma of living. Blunt force trauma. Family trauma. Toxic relationship trauma. Sometimes a slap in the face is what you need. The importance of reframing. Being a destructive teenager. How traumatic events can burn into your memory. Fucking around with therapists. Adversity vs. trauma. Can words cause trauma? Remembering every insult. The trauma of being born. Teen drama. (Recorded on April 22, 2023)

Art is the best! Is everything art? Does art have to be shared? Censorship and art. Boring art. Some favourite visual artists. The awe of the Renaissance. Dadaism. Humour and art. Bad art. Modern art. The evolution of art. Everyone is an artist. The compulsion to create. Vulnerability. Giving birth to art babies. Music as heroin. Sources of inspiration. Living for ideas. Art as a commodity. Digitized starry night. Mental illness and artists. (Recorded on April 3, 2023)

Carmen drills Janet about what it's like having a child. Kids versus babies. Janet creeps out parents. Ew – kids. Real love. Baby atom bombs. The child drought. Having a shitty kid who hates your guts. How a wand up your vagina can make you emotional. Nobody looks after you when you're old anyways. Tapping out when the adult diaper arrives. Teenagers are mean. All the shockers of becoming a parent. How little control you have over how your child is. Generational parenting. Having the opposite. Salt and Pepper kids. Giving birth in a dumpster that's on fire. Rad aunties. Dog utopia. Big baby productions. Having a life as a parent. (Recorded on March 27, 2023)

Why is this ancient philosophy so popular today? What is in your control and what isn't. Living in accordance with nature. The original Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Taking the reins of your brain. The art of reframing. Non-reactions. The Meditations. Expectations are the death of serenity. Memento mori. Self-help books as drugs. Stoicism as counter culture. The character drought. Personality privilege. Following the herd sometimes pays off. Accepting the cringe doesn't mean encouraging the cringe. Integrating the shadow. The freedom of not needing to belong. (Recorded on March 5, 2023)

Daydreaming vs. night dreaming. Why are dream descriptions so boring? Practical dreams. Personal dreams. Making use of sleeping. Wet dreams. Our brains as hard drives. Recording dreams. People popping. Whoring it up in other people's dreams. Dreams as portals through the multiverse. Sleepwalking accountability. Flight vs. freeze. Spirit animals. Do dreams mean anything? Instadreams. Dream streaming. (Recorded on February 22, 2023)

Janet's strategies for overcoming anxiety. Everyone has a big thing. Ignoring your instincts. Zooming out into the solar system. Larry David's limp shoulders. Gaslighting yourself. Being drunk and anxious. Questioning your brain. Shutting it down. Becoming an Übermensch. Public speaking. Feed the right wolf. The bedtime anxiety monster. The hormone roller coaster. Dissociating on stage. 30, 60 or 90 percent of people don't have Bob Fosse as their internal monologue. (Recorded on February 5, 2023)

ChatGPT. Suffering data. Where is Clippy now? The automation apocalypse. More human than human. Does less work equal more happiness? Do bots eat ass? Fuck humanity or fuck with humanity? Trans-animalism. A poetic way to go. The education crisis. The purpose problem. When virtual reality beats real reality. The fine line between dystopia and utopia. Human-made certification stickers. Toxic empathy. The great equalizer. Conscious A.I. People panic over innovation. A.I-generated cults. Technology tradeoffs. ADHD bomb hunter-gatherers. The pagan pacifier. Scientific certainty. (Recorded on January 28, 2023)

Small town goths connecting and keeping in touch. Influencing Instagram. Power to the people. Pros being cons. Becoming the news. Top shelf meme lords. Reeling from reels. Globalized creative juices. Cats owning social. Not being able to pay attention to our dwindling dopamine receptors. Blue light midnight facials. Having a toxic relationship with the algorithm. Sensory stupidity overload. More wasted time or simply an updated way to waste time? Personal commercials. Is it ever ok to scroll the 'gram in the presence of others? When people used to poke. Zooming out is far out. (Recorded on January 10, 2023)

Janet and Carmen get deep. Why do great when good enough will do? Quiet quitting and doing the bare mini. To morphine or not to morphine when dying? Acid epiphanies. The meaning of life. Nihilism. Do your duty. Fate. Free will and determinism. Janet's theory of the universe. A.I boyfriends. Why are we attracted to certain people? Is everything just pheromones? Still crushin' on Dr. Huberman in your eighties. Are crushes fun or not fun? We all die alone. Be your own best friend.  (Recorded on November 27, 2022)

Janet and Carmen mansplain the value of men. Why there wasn't a feminist movement in antiquity? Toxic masculinity. Yin and yang. Manspreading. Male privilege. Dicks. Messy men. Male masturbation. Male strength. Male simplicity. (Recorded on November 8, 2022)

Fidgety fitness. Use it or lose it. Exercise trends. Drakercise. Taking it too far. Physical health=mental health. Injuries. Walking like you're in a movie. Designer workouts. Don't fuck with your Instagram algorithm. Busting a move. Public displays of being stoned. Hard things that look easy. Prancercise. Apps. Bear spray. Listen to the Drakercise playlist (Recorded on November 1, 2022)

Freedom of speech in the age of the internet. Freedom to offend. When left becomes right. Hate speech. Censorship. Deplatforming martyrdom. Coward culture. Outrage archeologists. The freedom to listen. Identifying with your beliefs. The freedom of bad ideas. The University of Indoctrination. Wicked words. Corrupt corporations vs corrupt government. Tribal for our survival. (Recorded on October 16, 2022) * The latest cancellation that moved Janet to tears was that of Meg Smaker's film formerly known as Jihad Rehab. You can hear her full story on Sam Harris's podcast, Making Sense. 

Dating sucks! Pheromones. Pros and cons of dating apps. Ghosting. Giving up. Making up…someone in your head. Sapiosexual. Attachment styles. How to build a good profile. Love languages. Bad dates. Meeting people in real life. Dates that don't ask questions. The mid range. Red flags. Refusing to give up and refusing to try. Dating down. (Recorded on October 10, 2022)

Age shame. Preparing for the worst. Near-death perspective. The secret to aging well. Becoming invisible. Letting go. Schmastic schmurgery. Botox ka-ching! Here's to looking gross all the time. Ageism. Too much time left vs. not enough time left. Cheque, please. Never shopping at Bryan's. Battling the grumps. The tragic adventure of life. Senior strength. Slap life right. Senior sex workers. (Recorded on October 5, 2022)

Rude money. Respect for money. Money motivation. Credit card slime. Money as power. Money as freedom. Money shame. Money stress. Evil money. Mo' money, mo' problems. Money mistakes. Money and mental health. Shoplifting. Hedonic adaptation. (Recorded on September 13, 2022)

Janet and Carmen chat with their first guest! Ryan Walter Wagner talks about getting diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood. We cover how this neurodevelopment disorder manifests, how it's diagnosed, the stigma around it, the positives and negatives, and coping strategies. And Janet learns that foam is extremely tough to saw.  * Fact check: Steve Jobs did NOT say he liked to hire people with ADHD. He said he liked to hire lazy people. Bet all those lazy people had ADHD, though. * Tech note: We apologize for the quality of Ryan's audio. The internet can be a bitch sometimes. Welcome to wonksville. Learn more about Ryan's super cool ADHD photography project at ryanwalterwagner.com/Adult-ADHD and follow him on Instagram: @ryanwalterwagner (Recorded on September 4, 2022)

The evolution of a woman's role in society. All of the waves. Patriarchy? Equalism. Madonna's version of feminism. The pay gap. #MeToo. Has feminism gone too far? Postmodern hell. Male cuttlefish. Maude from Harold and Maude. Margaret Atwood. Camille Paglia. Aziz Ansari. Believe all women? Intersectionality. (Recorded on August 21, 2022)

Janet and Carmen don't hold back their views on this touchy subject, and shit gets personal. What's going on in the U.S. Women's bodies, men's lives. No babies, no sex. Just pick a date for heaven's sake! Out of control birth control. Enormous decisions. Half-baked babies. (Recorded on August 8, 2022)

Janet and Carmen discuss what they learned from a recent mushroom trip on Toronto Island. The transformative power of psychedelics. The phases of a trip. The oneness. Self discovery. How a trip can rearrange perspectives. Beauty overload. Gateway to your psyche. Melting anxiety. Building confidence after addiction. We're all afraid and confused. Hallucinations. Self-imposed limitations. (Recorded on July 29, 2022)

A crazy, complicated relationship. Pubin' out. Body as peacock feathers. Nobody wants to hear about your diet. Forty and fabulous? Real bodies vs. photographed bodies. What are pores? Bloated and blobby. The puberty surprise. Accepting your body vs. loving it. The body positive movement. Body Mass Index. The changing of the beauty standard. Robo Chic. Hairy feet. Body dysmorphic disorder. Shooting rainbows out of your hand. (Recorded on July 16, 2022)

It's the sexeepisode. Forearm veins. Horny nostrils. Sexting with meat emojis. Flaws are sexy. GILFS. Uniforms. Gorillas. Wet jeans. Simps.  * Fact check! Gorillas are NOT our closest relative, Janet. Geez. (Recorded on June 12, 2022)

Is reading the news good or bad for you? Tribal news. Echo chambers. Tap dancing squirrels. Censorship. Weeding out the whack-jobs. Fearful and compliant. There's always an agenda. (Recorded on May 22, 2022)

Carmen and Janet exchange their thoughts on monogamy. Is successful monogamy possible? Codependent monogamists. Greedy marriages. Dipping it in. Monogamy monotony. The affair appeal. Dishonesty vs. cheating. (Recorded on December 10, 2021)

What makes something an addiction? Janet opens up about her bulimia. Is there such a thing as an addictive personality? Recovered addicts rule. Shame spirals. Smart addictions. Safe injection sites. Rock bottoms. Interventions. The recovery aha moment. Recovery as liberation. Addiction swapping. The answer is that there isn't an answer. It's like cooking a frog. If you're gonna do it, overdo it. (Recorded on May 14, 2022)

Shlong. What happens to the balls when riding a bicycle? What does a blowjob feel like? Does size matter? Soup can vs. pencil. The foreskin conspiracy. Balls of energy. Sprinkle of cheerleaders. Penis gremlins. The Privates Eye.  * Janet mentions Bret and Heather's book: The Hunter-Gatherer's Guide to the 21st Century: Evolution and the Challenges of Modern Life, by Heather Heying and Bret Weinstein. (Recorded on October 16, 2021)

Welcome to our special 4/20 episode. What is better stoned? What is not? Watch out for the chips! Lost water. Stoned apes. Listen to crosswalks. Oversharing memes. Forgetting pants. 69 gets a friend. Useless gifts. (Recorded on April 16, 2022)

Janet and Carmen get to the bottom of what is cool. Life is one big high school. I ♥ Donald Trump. The original never-nude. Someone could make 80 cool. Your body is a Tupperware container. The cool dog. Everything depends on so many things. (Recorded on May 12, 2021)

Sex is life. We're all going to be forgotten. Food-coloured braces. Cremating yourself. Life is a trip, not a destination. Karate chop your shame. Sexy satan. (Recorded on April 30, 2021)

That line between creativity and madness. NFTs. Bucket Lists. Investment advice. When to give up and when to push yourself. Female doomer curmudgeons. (Recorded on March 12, 2022)

Freedom is Magical. What the hell, Constantine?! Is the Universe bacteria? Poop in the sink. Thousands of millions. The Fart Barker. Old people are the dopest. (Recorded on March 27, 2021)