In this quick introductory episode, Penny & Steph explain why they started this podcast. They announce the date for the release of the first episode and give you a taste for what to expect.
Teens learning to drive is a parent's best dream and worst nightmare! It's the BEST when we don't have to drive them to and from every activity, but it's SO SCARY. I mean, their brains are not fully developed, and we're putting them in charge of a lethal machine. Yikes! This week we talk about the steps to getting a driver's license, as well as how to keep your risk-taking teen a little safer. Steps to getting a license Scary statistics How to help your teen drive more safely Resources: Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, Teen Driver Source Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, Teen Driving Plan Learner Permit, Zero Fatalities 9 Free Apps to Help Your Students Pass Their Driving Exam, Driving School Jane E. Brody, Helping Teenagers to Be Safer Drivers, NY Times Keep Teen Drivers Safe, CDC Safe Vehicles for Teens, IIHS Parent-Teen Driving Agreement, Health Children Org Teen's Biggest Safety Threat is Sitting on the Driveway, NSC, Driving Restrictions for Teen Driver's By Age in Utah, Utah Gov
As we head into the winter season, we want to talk with our daughters about winter holidays that are celebrated all over the world. Since we come from a Christian background, we decided to focus on other winter holidays besides Christmas. Come join us as we talk about the history, traditions, and messages of each of these holidays. AND, we take up a notch from there and also discuss why our teens need to be exposed to all different cultural traditions. Don't miss it! Winter Holidays Besides Christmas Hanukkah Winter Solstice Kwanzaa Bodhi Day Diwali Why we should care about holidays besides our own How to be respectful of all cultural holidays Resources: Hanukkah, Chabad.org Winter Solstice, history.com Winter Solstice, rd.com Kwanzaa, Official Kwanzaa Website Kwanzaa, History.com Bodhi Day, npr.org Bodhi Day, Learn Religions Diwali, Kids National Geographic Jamie Farnsworth Finn, Teachings Teens to Respect Diversity, Today Michelle Crouch, Teaching Diversity to Your Kids, Parenting Amy L. Eva, 5 Ways to Help Teens Think Beyond Themselves, Greater Good (Berkeley) Kathy Sisson, How to Talk to Kids About Cultural Appropriation, The Every Mom Arlin Cuncic, What Is Cultural Appropriation, VeryWell
How have we not had this conversation before now?! Why are teenagers sooooo moody! And what in the world can we do about it? Join us this week as we have this conversation. Why teens are so moody (hint: it's all the brain!) How to tell the difference between moodiness and a bigger problem What to do about the moodiness. This is a great conversation to have with your daughter - she doesn't like being moody either! Help her understand what's going on. Resources: Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette, Have a Moody Teenager? Barbara Poncelet, Very Well Family - Why Teens are Moody (medically review by Ann-Louis Lockhart @dr.annlouise.lockhart) Nikhil Swaminathan, Whatever!: Hormonal Reversal During Puberty Keeps Teens Totally Anxious, Scientific American Eliminate WMDs, YouTube Moodiness vs. Depression, Dr. Thomas Conover on The Scope (U of U podcast) Katie Bingham Smith, Grown & Flown Elsa Vulliamy, Why are Teenagers So Moody? Independent Gia Millar, Is My Teen Depressed or Moody? PsychCentral YouTube Video from ASAP Science Debbie Pincus, MS LMHC, 7 Ways to Deal With, Empowering Parents Want to Add Years to Your Life? Stop Complaining. Aha Parenting.
This episode was painful to record for both of us because we saw ourselves in so many of the characteristics of someone who is at-risk for being codependent! Yikes! Hopefully, because of what we've learned, we can help our girls (and ourselves!) be aware of codependency in relationships and avoid the problems that come with it. Yay for helping our daughters be better than we are! Where codependency shows up Characteristics of someone who is at-risk for codependent relationships What to do if you see signs of codependency Resources: Parenting a Troubled Teen? Understanding Codependency, Solutions Treatment Center Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, PhD, Codependency in Children, Psychology Today Codependency, Next Generation Village: Teen Drug and Alcohol Rehab Margaret Paul, PhD, 7 Signs You're in a Codependent Relationship and Why It's Unhealthy, Mind Body Green Kim Wong-Shing, 8 Signs of a Codependent Friendship and What to Do About It, Mind Body Green Sponsor (Life Success for Teens) Website, Instagram, Facebook
It can be hard to have self-love as a teen. Between body changes, mean peers at school, and social media, our teens are bombarded with a million messages that make them question their worth. It can feel impossible to know how to help them! That's why we loved the chat we had with Lindsay Law about this topic. She gives GREAT advice on how to talk with your daughter about this tricky topic! Listen in! The brain and self-love Validating emotions and self-love Failure and self-love Resources for working with Lindsay: Connect with me for coaching, or for my freebie Unlocking the Confidence Within for teens and tweens at www.youthrisingcoach.com 30 Days of Brave Free Challenge for teens and tweens- Be supported for 30 days to turn fear into confidence. Hear from amazing guest speakers. Learn to be kind to yourself no matter what happens. Whether it's talking to the new boy at school, asking for help with your math, or trying out for the school play, I can help you make it a reality. Join now! You can participate live, through chat or even on your own with the workbook. Create your brave, your way! Register at www.youthrisingcoach.com/brave If you're looking for a way to connect with your daughter and learn together how to gain confidence and be more kind to yourselves, my virtual/hands-on mother daughter retreat is for you. There will be 3 short zoom workshops throughout the day interspersed with connecting activities that you choose. Register at www.youthrisingcoach.com/online-retreat Youth Rising YouTube Channel I put out a weekly video on topics from friends to confidence and self love to a little bit of geeky brain science to help teens learn to create their best life. Follow me on IG for tips for parents and teens on using your brain for you, instead of against you. @youthrisingcoach https://www.instagram.com/youthrisingcoach/
Unfortunately, headaches can be a big part of a teen's life. Whether your daughter has an occasional headache or struggles with them frequently, this is the episode for you! We talk all about why teens get headaches, the different kinds of headaches and how they're treated, and resources that are available for kids that have headaches that impact their school life. Resources used for the episode: Headaches in Children and Teens, News-Medical article by Dr. Damien Jonas Wilson, MD here Don't ignore Migraines in Teenagers, WebMD here What is causing my teenager's migraine, and what can we do to solve it? Virginia Spine Institute here Early puberty in girls may be 'big bang theory for migraine, Science Daily here Important Information for Teens Who Get Headaches, All-Star Pediatrics here Migraineatschool.org Teenagers and Headaches, familydoctor.org here Genetics and Migraine, The Migraine Trust here The Possible Link Between Your Headache and Your Toothache, by Colleen Doherty, MD for verywellhealth here Blue Light and Digital Eye Strain by Daniel Porter, American Academy of Ophthalmology here
ADHD can be frustrating for parents AND teens. This week we dive into the ADHD brain - we talk about the hard AND the good! - and we give some strategies that you and your teen can use together. Help your teen celebrate her brain the way it is and learn how to work WITH it. The ADHD Brain Strategies for attention management Strategies for impulsivity Resources used for episode: Elaine Tayler-Klaus & Diane Dempster (co-founders ImpactADHD), Parenting ADHD Now, Can buy here Hacking Your ADHD Podcast, Episode “Coaching For Your Brain with Dr. Norrine Russell,” Katie Hurley, LCSW, “ADHD & Teens: How to Help Them Cope with Their Struggles” Psycom Resources not used in episode but also super helpful: Mary Rooney, PhD, “ADHD in Teens,” Childmind “Parenting Teens with ADHD,” CHADD “ADHD Symptoms in Teens: Your Guide to Warning Signs & Treatment for Adolescents,” ADDitude Help4ADHD.org Dr.Hallowell.com TotallyADD.com Instagram @impactparents @adhd_understood, @adhdmemetherapy, @motherhoodinadhd @helloiamadhd @adhdinchildrensupport Sponsor Link: https://lifesuccessforteens.com/ Sponsor Instagram: @lifesuccessforteens Sponsor Facebook: @lifesuccessforteens
Depending on your teen experience, the word "popular" probably brings up a variety of strong emotions. Dread? Excitement? Shame? Pride? Anger? Dr. Mitch Prinstein (author of the book "Popular") nailed it when he said, "Even as adults we all still remember exactly where we stood in that social hierarchy." Why is this? Why does popularity matter SO much during the teen years? And how can we help our teen avoid the pitfalls? Listen this week to learn how to talk to YOUR daughter about popularity. What does popular even mean? Likeability vs. Status Prosocial popularity, Aggressive popularity, Bistrategic popularity Why do we care so much about it? Oxytocin and Dopamine Why do mean kids become popular? Does it even matter? Popularity Level can set you up as higher risk for struggles later on Being well-liked as a teenager is linked to higher success as an adult How we perceive ourselves as adults can stay with us throughout our life Take-home message? Be so careful with yourself and others. Resources: Mitch Prinstein, PhD, The Modern Teen, “A Letter to TEens About the Science of Popularity” Psychology Today (excerpt from the book “Popular: Finding Happiness and Success in a World That Cares Too Much About the Wrong Kinds of Relationships”) Florida Atlantic University, “Three faces of teen popularity: Being feared, being loved, and being feared and loved” 2019. Science Daily, Original study found here Deborah Farmer Kris, “Being Popular: Why it Consumes Teens and Continues to Affect Adults” KQED Jane Parent, “Study Identifies Three Distinct Types of Popularity in Teens” Your Teen Mag
There's nothing quite as messy as grief. It can be a very scary thing to talk about. So, for this conversation, we brought in the experts! Meet Anita and Mel from the podcast Widow We Do Now. They are both widows, and through their podcast they've created a beautiful and powerful - and even humor-full! - community for those who have lost "their person." If you've been unsure how to talk with your daughter about grief, listen in. We learned SO much. What grief looks like What's helpful What's NOT helpful Resources: Instagram (podcast): @widowwedonow Instagram (Anita's): @racingfromtheashes Also check out their podcast, Widow We Do Now, anywhere you listen to podcasts!
Dr. Nancy Darling, professor and chair of the psychology department at Oberlin College, has researched teens and honesty for 20 years, and she concludes that 98 percent of teenagers lie to their parents. And let's be real... that last 2 percent probably lied about not ever lying. So, if lying is so pervasive, is there any hope for raising honest teens? Listen in as we talk about how to talk with your teen about honesty. Why lying happens Why honesty matters How to have honesty in the mom-daughter relationship Resources: Phyllis L. Fagell, Eight Ways Parents can Teach Teens to be Honest, Washington Post Elyse Salek, 5 Ways to Promote Honesty in Teens, Center for Parent & Teen Communication Courtney E. Ackerman, MA, Honesty & Integrity in Therapy, Positive Psychology Women's Therapy Institute, Teaching your Teen Honesty, Website Hank Pellissier, When Teens Lie (because they all do!), Great Schools Sponsor: Life Success for Teens Promo Giveaway: 7 Ways to Stop Your Teen From Procrastinating
Michelle Gifford is the queen of business strategy! We had a ton of fun learning from her as we talked about teens and business. Whether your daughter has expressed interest in owning her own business or not, this episode is a great start to having conversations about how she can start making money NOW. Pros of owning your own business Challenges of owning your own business What teens can do NOW Resources: Instagram: @iammichellegifford iammichellegifford.com michellegiffordcreative.com
We wanted to have a light-hearted conversation this week, and thought it would be fun to chat with our teens about birth order. Do you feel like your daughter fits the stereotype of her birth order, or does she break the mold? What does she think about this? Penny and Steph are both the oldest, and it shows! Birth order theory What it is Is it accurate? Oldest child strengths and challenges Middle child strengths and challenges Youngest child strengths and challenges Only child strengths and challenges What about big families? Resources: Lynn Berger, Birth Order Personality Traits, Time Magazine, https://time.com/5953372/birth-order-personality-traits/ Ben Guarino, Birth Order Doesn't Shape Personality, Washington Post, https://www.washingtonpost.com/science/2019/03/14/birth-order-doesnt-shape-personality-after-all/ Mary Elizabeth Dean, Birth Order Theory Insights, Better Help, https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/family/birth-order-theory-insights-into-your-personality/ Sponsor: Life Success for Teens Promo Giveaway: 7 Ways to Stop Your Teen From Procrastinating
It's that time of year for many of those juniors and seniors out there - ACT time! It can be overwhelming to know where to start when it comes to standardized test prep. Listen in and we'll walk you through what we've found in our research. (A lot of these tips also apply to the SAT, but we focused on the ACT because that's what our daughters will be taking.) General info about the day of the test English section Math section Reading section Science section Resources: ACT Tips, PowerScore Test Preparation, https://www.powerscore.com/act/help/test-day-tips.cfm Justin Berkman, The 8 ACT English Tips You Must Use in Your Prep, https://blog.prepscholar.com/8-act-english-tips ACT Math Section: Formulas you NEED to know, Magoosh SAT & ACT, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcgyTpeD49M Need to Know Math Formulas for the ACT (Google Doc, Taken from Magoosh.com), https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MdqJtBLMo-f7TWQ0-o9HteJPdcflvXHKzmVmDAxB5_U/edit?usp=sharing Alexa Laine, 8 Tips for a Perfect Score without Studying, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dn3H3D2d1k Alexa Laine, Score a 36 on the ACT Reading in 2020, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzMxqT5OjaU Alexa Laine, Score a 36 on the ACT Science, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BnCdG7w92
It's the beginning of the school year, and that means stress is probably amping up in your house. You might not be sure how to talk with your teen about all the stress she's feeling, but we've got you covered with this informative interview from Registered Psychologist, Chantal Côté. What is stress Red flags you and your teen can watch for Flipping the switch on stress Tips on how to help your teen master stress Resources: www.pyramidpsychology.com Instagram, @therapywithchantal Youtube Channel- Bulletproof Mindsets for Teens - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCynezhZL359SS9v-1Ir6LJw
As we recorded this episode, we both kept catching ourselves slouching. Good posture is important, but it's hard when we spend so much time looking at our devices and sitting at computers. Listen in to learn how you can talk with your daughter about good posture (and maybe even improve your own!). What causes bad posture What good and bad posture look like Why good posture matters How to fix bad posture References George Chiang, Help your teen stop slouching: 5 things that actually work. https://raisingteenstoday.com/help-your-teen-stop-slouching/ Why good posture matters https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/why-good-posture-matters Kyphosis https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/kyphosis.html Shari DeLisle, Stand tall, teens: Good posture matters more than you think, https://www.postcrescent.com/story/life/2018/06/25/why-good-posture-matters-teens/717687002/ Posture Problems in Teenagers https://mass4d.com/blogs/articles/posture-problems-in-teenagers https://www.physio-pedia.com/Adolescent_Back_Pain What is forward head posture? https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/forward-head-posture#what-is-it Amy Martuarna Winderl, 7 easy exercises for better balance, https://www.self.com/gallery/balance-exercises
I say I want my daughter to be a critical thinker. I want her to know how to look at situations, analyze, and think for herself... Except, then, she doesn't always agree with me! As tempting as it is to brainwash her into thinking exactly like me (because, I am, after all, always right!), I know in the long run, I'll be glad if she's learned how to be a critical thinker. What critical thinking is Why critical thinking matters How to teach critical thinking Resources: Mary Halton, Ideas Ted Dot Com, Critical Thinking is a 21st-century essential, https://ideas.ted.com/critical-thinking-is-a-21st-century-essential-heres-how-to-help-kids-learn-it/ Norwich Online, 5 Ways to Improve Your Critical Thinking Skills, https://blog.online.norwich.edu/5-ways-to-improve-your-critical-thinking-skills Macat, YouTube, What is Critical Thinking, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnJ1bqXUnIM Gwen Dewar, Ph.D., Teaching Critical Thinking: An Evidence-based Guide, https://parentingscience.com/teaching-critical-thinking/ Study Dot Com, What is Critical Thinking?, https://study.com/academy/lesson/what-is-critical-thinking-definition-skills-meaning.html Steven Hassan, PhD, Freedom of Mind Resource Center, Undoing Undue Influence and the BITE Model of Authoritarian Control, https://freedomofmind.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/BITE-Model-of-Authoritarian-Control-Handout-Oct-2-2020.pdf
We hate this episode. We hate thinking about bullying! But we have to talk with our daughters about it because it DOES happen - either to them or to someone they know. Listen in as we explore how to talk about this ugly topic. Bullying Facts What bullying is and what it's not Who is most likely to get bullied Signs of bullying Why bullies bully What to do if you're getting bullied What to do if you know someone who is getting bullied Resources Angela Huebner and Erin Morgan, Adolescent Bullying, Virginia Polytechnic Institute, https://vtechworks.lib.vt.edu/bitstream/handle/10919/23399/VCE350_852_2002.pdf?sequence=1 Christina Fisher, The Association of Different Types of Bullying with Mental Health of Children and Teens From the US, France, and Canada, Ursinus College, Digital Commons, https://digitalcommons.ursinus.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=https://scholar.google.com/&httpsredir=1&article=1003&context=media_com_sum Stop Bullying, stopbullying.gov Bullying and Teenagers, ReachOut.com, Mary L. Gavin, MD, Dealing with Bullying, https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/bullies.html/ Sherri Gordon, 8 Reasons Why Teens Bully Others, Very Well Family, https://www.verywellfamily.com/reasons-why-teens-bully-others-460532 Sherri Gordon, The Different Between Bullying and Unkind Behavior, https://www.verywellfamily.com/bullying-or-unkind-behavior-how-to-know-the-difference-460493 Ryan Walker, I'm a Teenager Who WAs Bullied: Here's what Bullying Among Teens Looks Like Today, Parents.com, https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/teenagers/im-a-teenager-this-is-what-i-want-parents-to-know-about-teen-bullying/ 5 Powerful Anti-Bullying YouTube Videos for Teens and Tweens, https://www.bark.us/blog/5-best-anti-bullying-videos-on-youtube-for-tweens-and-teens/ Our 3 favorites from this list: “The Bully” “A Sincere Compliment” “Silent”
Natalie and Alison with Life Success for Teens are brilliant with teenagers. Natalie is a school psychologist and Alison is a teacher, and they both are also certified to be academic coaches for teens. They basically know how to help our kids succeed at life. And, to top it off, they're both fun and easy to talk with! Join us as we talk with Natalie and Alison about how to foster resilience in our teens. We laughed a lot and learned a lot! What does resilience look like? How can being resilient make life easier? How do we help foster resilience in teens? Resources: Instagram- www.instagram.com/lifesuccessforteens/ Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/lifesuccessforteens Website- www.lifesuccessforteens.com Freebie: 7 Ways to Stop Your Teen From Procrastinating
We are SO excited for this week's episode with Dr. Julie Hanks. We learned so much about how to approach the topic of modesty with our girls. This topic can be confusing and overwhelming. Finding a way to talk about your own family values without objectifying women's bodies is complicated! We had some questions for Dr. Hanks and were surprised to realize that we both had some underlying thoughts that we didn't realize were there. Listen in to hear Dr. Hanks thoughts on modesty. (No outline this week - just a flowing conversation.) Resources: Social Media: Instagram Facebook drjuliehanks.com Empower Her Circle Membership: EHC Membership Dr. Hanks works 1:1 with only a few coaching clients at a time. Click here to sign up for Priority Coaching Subscription
We stereotypically think about teen BOYS when we think about hygiene issues; however, it's important that you're talking with your teen daughter about this as well! Hygiene Basics Hygiene necessities Cultural/Personal hygiene decisions Hygiene myths What to do if your daughter has hygiene struggles Remember the teenage brain! Explain why Focus on self-care Buy teen-specific products Seek help! Expanding our views on hygiene Understanding hygiene privilege Ways to get involved in helping with hygiene poverty Resources: Nicolette XO : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqc0oZYZm1M Barbara Poncelet, Very Well Family, How to Teach Your Teen Good Hygiene, https://www.verywellfamily.com/smelly-teen-lets-talk-teen-hygiene-3200879 Hygiene: Pre-teens and Teenagers, https://raisingchildren.net.au/pre-teens/healthy-lifestyle/hygiene-dental-care/hygiene-pre-teens-teens Dr. Tori Cordiano, Ph.D., Ask the Expert, https://yourteenmag.com/health/physical-health/teenage-girl-poor-hygiene Medically reviewed by Dr. Nirmala Shireesh Dharap (MBBS, DCH, Pediatrics), Written by Swati Patwal (M.Sc. (Food & Nutrition)), Hygiene Tips for Your Teens, https://www.momjunction.com/articles/hygiene-tips-for-your-teens_00116170/ Carina Wolff, 7 Hygiene Myths, Busted, https://www.bustle.com/articles/166000-7-hygiene-myths-busted-once-for-all-according-to-experts Dr Shubhanan Upadhyay, 5 Hygiene Myths that Drive Doctors Crazy, https://medium.com/adahealth/5-hygiene-myths-that-drive-doctors-crazy-5065b7003096 Days for Girls, https://www.daysforgirls.org/ Whirlpool Care Counts https://www.whirlpool.com/care-counts.html
Does your daughter think you're a good listener? Does she know how to be a good listener? We're both working on our listening skills (especially interrupting!) - which is why we did this topic! How empathy makes you a better listener Key steps to being a good listener Good things that happen when we listen effectively Resources: Active Listening, https://raisingchildren.net.au/pre-teens/communicating-relationships/communicating/active-listening 10 steps to effective listening, Dianne Schilling, Forbes, https://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2012/11/09/10-steps-to-effective-listening/?sh=74ebab0d3891 Learning to Listen, Princeton University, https://umatter.princeton.edu/connecting/listening Listening Effectively, Raj Soin, Wright State University, http://www.wright.edu/~scott.williams/skills/listening.htm What Great Listeners Actually Do, Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman, https://hbr.org/2016/07/what-great-listeners-actually-do Fred Rogers, Quotes by Fred Rogers, Good Read, GoodReads
Lexie Kite, PhD., and her sister Lindsay Kite, PhD., are experts in the field of body image resiliency and the harmful effects of objectification. And they are our heroes. You can learn more about their work at morethanabody.org, and by watching Lindsay Kite's TEDTalk. We talked with Lexie about their newly released book, More Than a Body, which is a must-read. Check out Steph's book review on our Instagram account. Teen girls and objectification Sea of Objectification metaphor Self-objectification Living as More than a Body How girls are targeted Let's get mad about it Body Image Resilience Fight the objectification, not yourself Fighting internalized shame Helping others rise Coming home to your body Resources: Instagram @beautyredefined
Last week we focused on WORK - now this week we're focusing on relaxation. However, it might not be the relaxation you're thinking of... While vacations and bubble baths and binging Netflix are definitely fun and relaxing and they help us escape our hard stuff, they don't actually help us deal with and get through our hard stuff. So, in this week's episode, we want to make sure our daughters know how to find peace and calm while dealing with the really difficult - and we do that through something called active relaxation. Active relaxation vs. Regular relaxation The science behind the benefits of active relaxation Ways to practice active relaxation Resources: Relaxation Skills for Teens, (Teen Treatment Center) https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/well-being/relaxation-skills-for-teens/ Teaching Teens to Relax to Manage Stress, Ken Ginsberg, Center for Parent & Teen Communication, https://parentandteen.com/take-active-steps-to-relax/ The Science Behind Mindfulness Meditation, YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wVRBjpYGU0 The Scientific Power of Meditation, YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aw71zanwMnY Dan Harris, Panic Attack on Live TV, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qo4uPxhUzU https://www.huffpost.com/entry/teaching-mindfulness-to-teenagers_b_5696247 E S Epel, E Puterman, J Lin, E H Blackburn, P Y Lum, N D Beckmann, J Zhu, E Lee, A Gilbert, R A Rissman, R E Tanzi & E E Schadt, Meditation and vacation effects have an impact on disease-associated molecular phenotypes, https://www.nature.com/articles/tp2016164
Are your teens hard workers? Work ethic is a BIG deal, but sometimes we can feel a little guilty because we see all the things our teens don't work hard at (hello, chores). But then we watch how hard they work at swim practice, or with homework, or on the mural they are painting in their bedroom. So maybe they do have good work ethic? In this episode, we talk all about the benefits of hard work and how to teach your teen how to do it. The benefits of hard work Builds character Gets results Draws attention Brings new opportunities Blesses others How to teach your teens to work hard Praise effort over outcome Model work ethic in action Use everyday challenges as teachable moments Give kids the opportunity to flex their work ethic Make personal responsibility a priority Teach how to balance commitments Allow them to experience the results of hard work Make it fun Resources: Ebone Bell, 5 Benefits of Hard Work, Linked In, https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/5-benefits-hard-work-ebone-bell/ Mary Squillace, How to Raise a Kid Who Works Hard, https://medium.com/apparently/how-to-raise-a-kid-who-works-hard-503fac673be5 Parenting Teens and Tweens, 5 Ways to Help Teens Develop a Strong Work Ethic, https://parentingteensandtweens.com/5-ways-to-help-teens-develop-a-strong-work-ethic/ Chris Hudson, Understanding Teenagers, The 7 Secrets to Motivating Teenagers, https://understandingteenagers.com.au/the-7-secrets-of-motivating-teenagers/
It's Pride Month, so we thought it was really important to discuss LGBTQ+ teens. We feel so fortunate that we got to interview Colette Dalton, LCSW. She helped us learn how we can be better allies. Colette's personal and professional experience gave us so much to think about, and gave us many really important points to share with our daughters. LGBTQ+ Vocabulary and Vernacular What each "letter" means in LGBTQSIA+ Pronoun usage Creating an LGBTQ+ environment in our homes Always speak like someone in your home is on the LGBTQ+ spectrum If someone says something hurtful or incorrect, speak up Include members of the LGBTQ community in your circle How to support LGBTQ+ teens Show love no matter what Correct language and hurtful comments Post supportive things on social media Join the Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) (in high school) Be a safe friend to everyone so others can open up to you (don't gossip, keep confidences, be kind) Resources: Instagram: @colettedalton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/colettedaltonlcsw Symmetry Solutions: https://www.symmetrysols.com/colette-dalton PDF for more information on gender and sexual diversity,
We are beyond thrilled that we were able to interview Dr. Melanie McNally on this week's episode. She teaches us all about social media - and, seriously, she gave us about 30 different conversations we want to have with our teen girls about this! The negative effects of social media External validation Encourages "teenage narcissism" Push to curate image Linked to loneliness and depression Personal call-out culture Social comparison The positive effects of social media Possibilities of new, similar friendships Increased belonging Humor and pro-social fun Creativity Potential jobs Activism Exposure to diversity Destigmatization of mental health Encouraging Healthy Social Media Use Mindfulness Building self-awareness Education Encourage proactive thinking Resources: @drmelaniemcnally drmelaniemcnally.com Dr. McNally's Online Support for Teens and Young Adults, destinationyou.net
This was a requested topic from one of our listeners. It's one we approach with a lot of sensitivity because we know that divorce is messy, complicated, and there's nothing we can say in one episode - or even in 100 episodes! - to make it "better" or even "okay." HOWEVER, we hope this short but packed-full-of-love episode can at least give you some ideas if your teen is struggling while you are going through a separation or divorce. Teens react differently to divorce than younger children Ideas to help your struggling teen Red flags to watch for Resources: Amy Morin, LCSW, Very Well Family, Effects of Divorce on Teens, https://www.verywellfamily.com/effects-of-divorce-on-teens-2609530 The Good Men Project, 7 Tips to Help Your Teenager Cope with Divorce, https://medium.com/a-parent-is-born/7-tips-to-help-your-teenager-cope-with-divorce-59773adee3ff Helping Teenagers Adjust After Separation or Divorce, https://raisingchildren.net.au/teens/communicating-relationships/family-relationships/helping-teens-adjust-separation Carl E. Pickhardt, PhD, Parental Divorce and Adolescents, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/200908/parental-divorce-and-adolescents
Trust is what holds us together! We need trust to build relationships of all kinds, and we need to be talking with our teens about trust. Tune to learn how to have these conversations. Defining trust and why it matters Trust vs. Trustworthiness Trust exists on a continuum Trust is not static Trust is empowering Relationships can't be strong without trust Fostering trust in relationships Factors that contribute to a high-trust relationship Reliability Transparency Sincerity Openness Oxytocin and trust Rebuilding broken trust See our Saying Sorry episodes (9 and 10) Acknowledge when you have broken trust, give ideas for how to fix it, ask for input If your teen has broken your trust, don't say that you can never trust them again. Allow amends to be made. Trusting wisely Ways our brains function that build trust but leave us vulnerable Trust cues can be easily faked and used to manipulate Rules for developing tempered trust Resources Paul J. Zak Neuroscience of Trust, https://hbr.org/2017/01/the-neuroscience-of-trust 10 Ways to Boost Good Feelings, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-moral-molecule/201311/the-top-10-ways-boost-good-feelings Roderick M. Kramer, Rethinking Trust, https://hbr.org/2009/06/rethinking-trust Esther Wojcicki, How to Raise Kids Who Will Grow Into Secure, Trustworthy Adults, https://blog.ed.ted.com/2019/09/16/how-to-raise-kids-who-will-grow-into-secure-trustworthy-adults/ Center for Parenting Education, When Your Teen Breaks Your Trust, https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/riding-the-waves-of-the-teen-years/when-your-teen-breaks-your-trust/ Dennis Jaffe, The Essential Importance of Trust, https://www.forbes.com/sites/dennisjaffe/2018/12/05/the-essential-importance-of-trust-how-to-build-it-or-restore-it/?sh=5f261f4764fe
Confession: I am so completely overwhelmed and stressed out about the college prep process for my Junior. I've already missed a few deadlines. I had SO much anxiety when I applied for my own college as a teen that I shut down, and did not even apply for a single scholarship. Even though I had great grades! Arrrrggghhh! I want to go back in time and give teen Penny a stern talking to. And a hug. Listen in to get a rundown of what tasks need to be done in which year, starting in 9th grade. If your teen is older than that and you haven't done anything--don't panic. It's okay. We've got you covered. Take a deep breath. Eat some chocolate. And tune in to hear what we've learned. Middle school - Grade 10 Get to know yourself - explore your options Start saving! Develop strong study and time management habits Become involved Junior Year Meet with your school counselor or mentor to discuss colleges and their requirements Create a master list or calendar with your checklist and the deadlines Go to college fairs Make an account with Common App Register for the ACT/SAT Start looking for scholarships Senior Year Update your master list or calendar Complete scholarship applications Stay involved, seek leadership roles if possible Re-take ACT/SAT if needed Apply to your chosen colleges Ask counselors and teachers to submit the required documents (transcripts, letters of requirement) Visit college campuses Notify the school of your commitment and submit any required financial deposit Resources: www.my529.org www.studentaid.gov Dawn Rosenberg McKay, Should I Go to College, www.thebalancecareers.com/should-you-go-to-college-525564 My Future, https://myfuture.com/ College Application Timeline: 12th Grade, https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/get-in/applying-101/timeline-12-grade
This week's episode is a little different format. With Mother's Day coming up, we wanted to recognize the lessons our own mothers have taught us. Take some time today and think of what your mom taught you. Maybe send her a note or a text thanking her. We also recognize that not all moms were wonderful and many are gone. We want to be conscious of those who struggle on Mother's Day. We see you. We love you. And we want to remind you that you can choose what you want your daughters to learn from you. What Penny Learned from Her Mom: Don't judge The joy of giving Don't take yourself to seriously What Steph Learned from Her Mom: The importance of a body-image safe environment The power of faith and hope She loved me for me and didn't expect perfection
Don't skip this episode just because you think your kid goes to a "good school," or because your kid would "never do that." EVERY parent needs to hear what Kriya Lendzion, an addiction specialist, has to say about addictions. We were BLOWN away. In fact, this interview is longer than we typically run our episodes, but it's worth EVERY minute! Scary Facts about Addictions Substances are getting stronger, more addictive, more dangerous, and use is increasingly easier to conceal from parents, school staff etc. Why Teens are Especially Prone to Addictions Our kids need accurate science-based intel on substances and all the addictive things They also need an understanding of how their young, malleable brains are particularly wired for addiction What Teens can do to Help Avoid Addictions They need to have 101 alternatives to use that fulfill every teen's needs for belonging, confidence, fun, and coping. They need to develop an inner compass based in their own values, goals and knowledge. Why Parent-Teen Relationships Matter So Much To have a positive influence on their decision-development we need to earn their trust and respect We also need to know what's going on in their inner and outer worlds. Improving Conversations Resources: Instagram: @kriyacounselor and @legitdruged Email kriyacounselor@gmail.com kriyalendzion.com Facebook: Raising Kids in Reality, Kriya Lendzion
“Job interviews are a lot like first dates. Good impressions count, awkwardness can occur and outcomes are always unpredictable" (Raising Teens Today). Interviewing for jobs, especially those first few interviews, can be extremely nerve-racking! In today's episode we discuss dos and don'ts you can teach your teen to help make the interviewing process as smooth as possible. Getting Your Resume Ready Start with a header Add a short summary Think about the qualities your future employer will want Emphasize school and extracurricular activities Keep things professional Proofread, proofread, proofread Preparing for a Job Interview Research the company Prepare a portfolio Look up the address and know where you're going Practice (STAR Method) Things TO DO during a job interview First impressions matter Be on time Look professional Make eye contact Be yourself Be honest Get contact information so you can write a thank you Things NOT to do in a job interview Don't look at your phone Don't be late Don't be overly familiar Don't mumble Don't just talk about yourself Don't wing it Don't get discouraged if you don't get the job Resources Anthony ONeal “Job Interview Tips for Teens”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88Mwb2bnOMk Anthony ONeal “6 Tips for Your First Job Interview” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTHAZhxT4gg Raising Teens Today, @raisingteenstoday, https://raisingteenstoday.com/8-tips-for-teens-to-ace-job-interview/ Practice Job Interview Questions, https://www.understood.org/en/friends-feelings/teens-tweens/first-jobs/job-interview-questions-to-practice-with-your-teen Jacob Share, Resume for Teenagers: 8 Resume Writing Tips https://www.livecareer.com/resources/resumes/how-to/write/resume-tips-for-teenagers Mike Simpson, How to Master the STAR Method, https://theinterviewguys.com/star-method/
We love to laugh! Both of our families joke around a lot. But humor done wrong can do a lot of damage. We want to make sure our teens understand why humor is helpful, but also how to use it in the right way. Humor can teach important life skills Helps us see things from a different perspective Helps us grasp unconventional ideas Helps us enjoy the playful side of life Helps us not take ourselves too seriously Helps us get through hard times Benefits of laughing Stimulates muscles Releases endorphins Soothes tension Improves mood Enhances memory Relieves Pain Improves immune system Helps us bond How to find more humor in life Don't take yourself so seriously Spend time with people that make you laugh Hang up things and text things that make you laugh Cultivate family quotes Where to draw the line Boundaries when it comes to jokes Avoid inside jokes in front of others Take into consideration context (who the target of the joke is, who is your audience, what is the occasion) Apologize if you offend AND speak up if a joke offends you Resources: Brandon M. Savage, Heidi L. Lujan, Raghavendar R. Thipparthi, and Stephen E. DiCarlo Humor, laughter, learning, and health! A brief review, https://journals.physiology.org/doi/full/10.1152/advan.00030.2017 Kids Health, Encouraging Your Child's Sense of Humor, https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/child-humor.html Donna Wolter, The Benefits of Laughter, https://youthfirstinc.org/the-benefits-of-laughter/ Skills You Need, Developing Humour, https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/developing-humour.html Stress Relief from Laughter, https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456 Maia Szalavitz, It's No Joke: Why Laughter Kills Physical Pain, https://healthland.time.com/2011/09/14/its-no-joke-why-laughter-kills-physical-pain/ Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter, https://www.verywellmind.com/health-benefits-of-humor-and-laughter-5101137 How Laughter Affects Our Health, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DB_cSy0IIOg @thejohnsonfiles The Bad Broad Cast Podcast, Episode 32, The V Word Marjorie Hinckley, https://history.churchofjesuschrist.org/event/marjorie-pay-hinckley?lang=eng Joseph B. Wirthlin, Come Way May and Love It, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2008/10/come-what-may-and-love-it?lang=eng
Ashley Clay is a middle school teacher, counselor, and success coach, and we get to talk to her this week all about study skills to help our teens with academic success. Ashley is not only very knowledgeable, she is also really fun! Her only flaw is that she doesn't like chocolate. (But don't worry, she makes up for that with the rest of her stunning awesomeness!) Why Teens Procrastinate It's not because they're lazy Helping Teens Focus Remove distractions Set timers Pomodoro Technique Big 3 for the day Study Ideas and tips Gretchen Wegner - Study Cycle Spaced Retrieval Active Study > Passive Study Resources: @itsashleyclay Gretchen Wegner, The Study Cycle, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDjWrwT2yfQ
Puberty! Every teens favorite topic (insert classic teen eye roll). They might not like talking about it, but we sure do! This week we dive into all things about puberty. How to make the conversation as comfortable as possible Get comfortable with the words before you talk with your daughter Make it a normal part of your home conversations Watch YouTube videos and read books with her (we give great resources below!) Signs and stages of puberty Physical Stages Emotional Stages Mental Stages What older girls should know Teens think about sex! Bodies change all throughout our life What girls should know about boys Why girls should know about boys' puberty Similarities between girls and boys Differences between girls and boys Resources: Jennifer O'Donnell, Signs of Puberty in Preteen Girls, https://www.verywellfamily.com/the-signs-of-puberty-in-tween-girls-3288390 Stanford Children's Health, https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=puberty-adolescent-female-90-P01635 Kids Health: Everything You Wanted To Know About Puberty: https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/puberty.html Origin of the word Puberty: https://www.etymonline.com/word/puberty Good YouTube videos Well Cast, Inside Puberty: (Great intro - fun!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Dg2eMCx9TE Well Cast, Puberty for Girls, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_mFJ2d0qxQ Well Cast, Puberty for Boys, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDmTeU6H40s Infographics Show: Signs of Puberty (both boys and girls, focused on the evolutionary reasons for puberty, talks about other animals also), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0sK5JeTla0 WTF is Puberty (I liked this one but it's a more liberal approach - possibly not for everyone), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_879HMK_Nc For good book ideas you check out @kristinbhodson on Instagram. She has tons of good resources. KidsHealth.org: Talking to your child about puberty, https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/talk-about-puberty.html School District Maturation for 5th grade boys: Becoming a Man (See Utah Sex Ed Curriculum for this resource) Mental Help, The Development of Adolescent Sexuality, https://www.mentalhelp.net/adolescent-development/sexuality/ Sexual Resource Center for Parents, http://www.srcp.org/for_all_parents/development.html Bridget Blackburn, Oral Sex, www.parentmap.com
We are worried about our teens. We see all of the horrible stories of suicide and school shootings and gangs and teen pregnancy and poverty and all the bad things - and they are terrible! This week we're going to focus on what we can do to help our teens be happier - not that fake kind of happiness that leads to singing and dancing in the hallways like in High School Musical - but we're talking real, deep happiness. AND we're going to tell you some of the good news about teens and happiness. What happiness looks like Happiness vs. Well-being No one feels happy all the time Factors that affect happiness Connection Gratitude and Optimism Focus on a growth mindset Healthy and Well-balanced Resources Raising Children, Happy Teens, https://raisingchildren.net.au/teens/mental-health-physical-health/about-mental-health/happy-teens Blythe Gossberth, Live About, Happiness and Teens, https://www.liveabout.com/happy-teens-not-a-myth-2774102 Jean M. Twenge, The Atlantic, Teens Did Surprisingly Well During Quarantine, https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/10/how-teens-handled-quarantine/616695/ Eric Barker, Time, How to Raise Happy Kids https://time.com/35496/how-to-raise-happy-kids-10-steps-backed-by-science/ Russ Harris, The Happiness Trap YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kv6HkipQcfA&t=3s Website: https://thehappinesstrap.com/ Book: The Happiness Trap (buy on Amazon or in any bookstore)
This is SO not a fun topic to talk about. It's messy. And that's what we're all about here at The Messy Bun! So, let's dive into this topic with our teens and learn all about sexual harassment - what it is, how to respond to it, and how to report it. Making Caring Common, a project lead at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, conducted a national survey of 18- to 25-year-olds in which 87% of respondents reported they had been the victim of at least one form of sexual harassment. Yet, 76% of survey respondents reported that they never had a conversation with parents about how to avoid sexually harassing others or being harassed themselves. "As parents, we need to do better. We need have specific conversations with our teens about what misogyny and sexual harassment mean, why they are so harmful, and how to combat them." (Alison Cashin and Richard Weissbourd) Definitions and Examples Misogyny Sexual Bullying Sexual Harassment Sexual Harassment vs. Flirting Sexual Harassment vs. Sexual Assault How to respond How parents should respond How your daughter can respond if she is harassed How your daughter can respond if she sees harassment How to report Steps to take in reporting harassment Resources given below if you need to take legal action Resources: Katie Hurley, LCSW,How to Talk to Teens about Sex and Sexual Harrasment, https://www.psycom.net/talk-to-teens-about-sexual-harassment Kids Health, Sexual Harassment and Sexual Bullying, https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/harassment.html Richard Weissbourd and Alison Cashin, Sexual Harassment Among Teens, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2017/10/16/sexual-harassment-among-teens-is-pervasive-heres-how-parents-can-help-change-it/ Richard Weissbourd with Trisha Ross Anderson, Alison Cashin, and Joe McIntyre, Making Caring Common, Harvard Grad School, https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/reports/the-talk, Full Study (Making Caring Common from above): https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5b7c56e255b02c683659fe43/t/5bd51a0324a69425bd079b59/1540692500558/mcc_the_talk_final.pdf Lauren Holter, Bustle, Don't Conflate Flirting With Sexual Harassment — Women Know The Difference, https://www.bustle.com/p/flirting-sexual-harassment-are-two-entirely-different-things-women-know-that-do-men-6746759 What to Do if Your Child is Being Bullied and Resources, https://www.stompoutbullying.org/what-do-if-your-child-being-bullied-and-resources Notice of Harassment Kit, http://www.documatica-forms.com/bullying.php Jeremy V. Jones, Teens and Sexual Harassment, https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/teens-and-sexual-harassment/ Understanding Harassment - definitions, your rights, and how to report and take legal action, https://www.equalrights.org/issue/equality-in-schools-universities/sexual-harassment/ What to Do When Sexual Harassment Target Teenagers, https://www.eandblaw.com/employment-discrimination-blog/2019/09/12/sexual-harassment-targets-teenage-workers/ Reporting Resources, https://www.brandeis.edu/investigate/teen-sexual-harassment/resources.html
In today's episode, we interview Jessica Frew. She has a successful podcast called “Husband in Law” that she records with her husband, Matt, and her ex-husband, Steve. They also co-own The BOLD Logic, a company devoted to helping people go from living in an “I should” mindset to taking bold action towards keeping and reclaiming their sense of self. Jessica helps us know how to talk with our daughters about living a bold life. Take Control of Your Life Recognize what you can control and own those things Take control of your decisions and attitudes You get to decide what your boldness looks like Find Your Joy Figure out what brings you joy right now What do you find yourself doing for hours on end? Protect what brings you joy Don't do things just because they "should" bring you joy Silence the Noise Help your daughter listen to her inner voice As your inner voice gets louder, the outside voices and influences grow quieter Resources: Instagram, @husband_in_law https://theboldlogic.com/free-book https://theboldlogic.com/its-not-you https://husband-in-law.simplecast.com/
We all agree that kindness is important. We all want our teen daughters to be kind. But what does that really mean? And how do we really live a life of kindness without getting burned out or taken advantage of? The difference between being nice and being kind Being kind in your own unique way Kindness is powerful Resources: Harvard Health, The Heart and Science of Kindness, https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-heart-and-science-of-kindness-2019041816447 Project Happiness, The Difference Between Being Nice and Being Kind, https://shop.projecthappiness.org/blogs/project-happiness/the-difference-between-being-nice-and-being-kind Fatherly, Nice vs Kind, https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/nice-vs-kind-big-difference-why-it-matters/#:~:text=Being%20nice%20is%20easy.,Being%20kind%20takes%20work.&text=The%20way%20that%20we%20think,%2C%20you're%20being%20nice. PBS, The Science of Kindness: It's Not Easy Being Nice, https://www.pbs.org/independentlens/blog/the-science-of-kindness-its-not-easy-being-nice/ Louder Minds, Michele Connolly, Stop Being So Damn Nice, https://louderminds.com/kind-introvert-nice/ Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
Teens and acne. It's a universal issue! Today we discuss what we learned from dermatologist, Dr. Jason Mathis, as well as our own research on everything related to skin care. How to keep skin clean Gentle cleansers Benzoyl Peroxide Salicylic Acid How and why to moisturize Repairs the skin barrier Helps skin avoid premature aging Suggested moisturizers How and why to protect skin from the sun Why to protect How to help convince your teen to protect What to do for specific problems Retinoids Prescribed medications (Accutane, etc.) Hormonal Acne Things not to do Don't pick Don't use magnified mirrors Don't have unrealistic expectations Resources: Jason Mathis, MD, University of Utah Health, https://healthcare.utah.edu/fad/mddetail.php?physicianID=u0415270&name=jason-g-mathis How to Treat Acne with Benzoyl Peroxide, https://www.healthline.com/health/benzoyl-peroxide-for-acne What is Cystic Acne https://www.healthline.com/health/beauty-skin-care/cystic-acne#TOC_TITLE_HDR_1 Salicylic Acid vs. Benzoyl Peroxide: Which Is Better for Acne? https://www.healthline.com/health/beauty-skin-care/salicylic-acid-vs-benzoyl-peroxide Teens and Acne Treatment https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/teen/Pages/Teens-and-Acne.aspx Tips for Getting Kids and Teens to Wear Sunscreen https://www.dermadoctor.com/blog/tips-for-getting-kids-teens-to-wear-sunscreen/ Hormonal Acne, https://www.self.com/story/hormonal-acne
Today's episode is a little different format than our usual episodes. This month in the States we are celebrating Black History Month, so we wanted to take time to talk about strong black women that we want our daughters to know and emulate. We have chosen 5 women, each with a specific trait that we want to teach our daughters about to help them become strong, confident, and influential! Misty Copeland - It's never too late to start First black principal dancer with American Ballet Theatre Billie Holiday - Do what's right no matter what Jazz singer Claudette Colvin - You don't have to be an adult to make a difference Civil rights activist Bessie Coleman - Don't be afraid to be the first First Black and Native American woman to hold a pilot's license Sojourner Truth - Stand up for yourself Slave turned speaker and civil and women's rights activist Resources: The Economist: Misty Copeland - Why ballet has so few black dancers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qLJCkNqnYg www.mistycopeland.com Pop Sugar: Misty Copeland Dancing at 2019 AMA, https://www.popsugar.com/fitness/misty-copeland-dancing-at-2019-american-music-awards-46943817 Billie Holiday: Strange Fruit, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DGY9HvChXk https://billieholiday.com/bio/ Inside Out Tours, Billie Holiday's "Strange Fruit": The First Great Song of the Civil Rights Movement, https://insideouttours.com/2019/02/25/billie-holidays-strange-fruit-the-first-great-protest-song-of-the-civil-rights-movement/ NPR, Before Rosa Parks There was Claudette Colvin, https://www.npr.org/2009/03/15/101719889/before-rosa-parks-there-was-claudette-colvin Biography - Claudette Colvin, https://www.biography.com/news/claudette-colvin-rosa-parks-bus-boycott History Chicks Podcast, Episode 26, http://thehistorychicks.com/episode-26-rosa-parks-2/rp-claudette-colvin/ NY Times, Overlooked No More: Bessie Coleman, https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/11/obituaries/bessie-coleman-overlooked.html Women's History, Biographies: Bessie Coleman, https://www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/bessie-coleman Women's History, Biographies: Sojourner Truth, https://www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/sojourner-truth
We are so excited to share our interview with abuse-prevention specialist, Lauren Davis. She shares with us how help our teens avoid the pitfalls that come with technology. We learned so much! Technology and the Teenage Brain What fluctuations of dopamine do to the brain (especially strong in teenagers) Dopamine vs. Serotonin Using technology to create connections What teens should know about cyberbullying What cyberbullying is What to do if you or someone you know is involved in cyberbullying How to help prevent cyberbullying What teens should know about online predators What are the patterns of an online predator that teens should watch out for? Isolation Flattery Resources: -Lauren Davis, Utah Valley Family Support and Treatment Center, http://www.utahvalleyfamilysupport.org/about-us/our-team/attachment/lauren-davis/
Today we're going to talk about heroes! Specifically, what makes a hero and how your teen can be their own hero. They don't have to wait for someone to save them. They don't have to wait for someone else to make a difference. They can do it themselves. What is a hero? Ask your teen who their heroes are Heroes are people who are admired for great deeds Recognize real heroes around us Frontline workers, teachers, point out characteristics of people in TV shows or book Help them see heroes around them Role model gratitude Encourage them to be involved Point out their heroic traits Help your teen see how they can be their own heroes Foster Heroic imaginations Help them see things that aren't right Teach them they can resolve a conflict Help them develop confidence Model care and empathy Express expectation that kids will act heroically Resources: Parasiliti, B. (2017, February 06). Understanding the difference between idols and heroes. https://www.heraldmailmedia.com/sports/understanding-the-difference-between-idols-and-heroes/article_ab556cee-ebed-11e6-a734-a36f3bbfa6d6.html#:~:text=Right%20there%20is%20the%20difference,sets%20athletes%20like%20Brady%20apart. Pontz, E. (2020, May 29). 3 Ways to Help Teens Recognize Personal Heroes During the Pandemic. https://parentandteen.com/heroes/ Zafar, S. (n.d.). Be Your Own Hero. https://www.ted.com/talks/samra_zafar_be_your_own_hero Franco, Z., & Zimbardo, P. (n.d.). The Banality of Heroism. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_banality_of_heroism Burton, K., & https://www.dummies.com/health/mental-health/confidence-for-dummies-cheat-sheet/
Self-compassion is something we feel strongly that we want our teen daughters to understand, but it's also SO HARD. In this episode we try and break down more about what self-compassion is and why it matters so much. The definition of self-compassion Self-compassion and self-esteem are not the same thing Compassion means to "suffer with" so self-compassion literally means to "suffer with" ourselves When we suffer with ourselves, we are doing more than just feeling sorry for ourselves. Why teens (and all of us!) should care about self-compassion Self-compassion encourages teens to adopt a growth mindset Self-compassion allows teens to step out of the comparison race Self-compassion is the key to overcoming setbacks (big ones and small ones!) Resources: Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, Buy Here Kristin Neff's website - www.self-compassion.org Serena Chen, Give Yourself a Break: The Power of Self-Compassion, Harvard Business Review: https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassion Kristin Neff, Ted Talk: The 3 Components of Self-Compassion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11U0h0DPu7k
"I love you too much to deny you the privilege of making mistakes." This was said by Kathie Lee Gifford's Dad, and we love it! Failure is hard, but it's essential! Today we talk all about the importance of failure. Failure is about learning It's essential! - Mistakes are for learning 5 Things Failure Teaches Us (Forbes): Keeps your ego in check Inspires positive change Gives you a new perspective Teaches resilience Teaches you want you want (and don't want) Let your teen fail while they're still with you and you can help them How to allow failure and still be supportive Make risk-taking a family value Teach your teen to expect failure as part of the process Don't solve your teens problems for them Support your student by letting go Give her tools. Give her resources. But let her use them. Final thoughts about failure "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor" - Franklin D. Roosevelt "In the long run, our biggest regrets are not our actions, but our inactions." -Adam Grant Les Brown's "ghost" analogy Resources: Let Your Teen Fail, https://parentandteen.com/let-your-teen-fail Should I Let My Kids Fail, https://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/parenting/should-i-let-my-kids-fail The Value of Failing, https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2018/04/the-value-of-failing/558848/ Failure Found to be an Essential Prerequisite for Success, https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/failure-found-to-be-an-essential-prerequisite-for-success/ Forbes, Why Failure Leads to Career Success, https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolinecastrillon/2019/11/20/why-failure-leads-to-career-success/?sh=f0f489575780 Adam Grant, The Surprising Habits of Original Thinkers, https://www.ted.com/talks/adam_grant_the_surprising_habits_of_original_thinkers?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare Are Helicopter Parents Ruining a Generation? https://youtu.be/CeltnroSGco Denzel Washington Fall Forward Speech https://www.characteractionmedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/D-Washington-Speech-Transcript.pdf
It's here! The thing teens care most about - FRIENDS! This week we decided to focus on good friendships - why they matter, the difference between healthy and toxic friendships, and what character traits your daughter can develop to become a better friend. Why having a good friend matters Good friends teach us how to interact with all different people Good friends they teach patience and forgiveness Good friends they help us move past our comfort zones Good friends keep our minds healthy Good friends help us endure the hard things in life What's the difference between a good friendship and a toxic friendship BLAME: Toxic friendships often leave you feeling responsible for things that aren't your fault LISTENING: If you find that your friend doesn't ever listen to you - sometimes quite literally- you may be in a toxic friendship. Only one person is getting their needs met. TIME SPENT: In a toxic friendship, one might get left out/not invited. Or, opposite, you can't spend anytime apart. RESPECT: Toxic friendships don't take you seriously. They put pressure on your values and boundaries. VULNERABILITY: Toxic friendship are not a safe place where we aren't comfortable sharing vulnerabilities or our full self. What character traits your daughter can develop to become a better friend Leadership Reciprocity Empathy Kindness Respect for boundaries Loyalty Trust Resources Sissy Goff, Focus on the Family, https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/friendship-factor-making-and-keeping-friends/ LifeAbout.com, Why Friendship is Important, https://www.liveabout.com/why-friendship-is-important-1385655 Tara Parker-Pope, What are Friends For? https://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/21/health/21well.html?_r=0 Mallory Grimste, LCSW, 5 Warning Signs of a Toxic Friendship, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcEkeyt05Nc Mallory Grimste, LCSW, Other Resource: www.mallorygrimste.com, @mallorygrimste Life As Mama, Teach Your Teen How to be a Good Friend, https://lifeasmama.com/teach-your-teen-how-to-be-a-good-friend/
Today's episode is all about bras! We are so excited we had the opportunity to interview bra fitting professional Courtney Killpack. Listen in to learn all about how to talk with your daughter about all things bra. Talking Point #1: Why having a properly fitting bra matters (even when you're young and developing!) Bra fits are generational - we learn from our moms who learned from their moms, but a lot has changed in the last 20 years, especially sizes available It's important to start out young understanding how bras should fit so they can take care of themselves better - it will help them have better self-awareness and self-confidence Bras are very highly-technical garments, so when they're not fitting right it can cause a lot of problems Talking Point #2: Tips to make sure a bra fits correctly One of the biggest problem is usually too big of band size. You want it to fit snugly on the tightest setting. Bras are like teeter-totters. You want them low in the back so they pull up the front. You want the gore (where the underwires meet) to lay flat and separate the breasts. You also don't want to be coming out the top of the cups or the cups to gap. Talking Point #3: How to adapt as breasts change First, before your daughter even develops, talk about bodies and what to expect as they change. Once your daughter starts budding, it's time to get a little bralette to get used to it. Once they start developing breast tissue, they're ready to go get fitted and wear a full bra. As they're growing, get them 1-2 bras with 1-2 sport bras. When they're fully developed, 3-4 daily bras is ideal. If they get professionally fitted, they'll be taught when their bra isn't fitting them correctly anymore. Talking Point #4: How to care for a bra Avoid Tide and Woolite Best to use lingerie soap Hand wash is best (helps the bra last longer) Gently use a toothbrush to help scrub clean Bras only last about 1 year Resources: Courtney's Website: www.bosombesties.com Courtney's IG Account: @brafittingsbycourt
“There is no passion to be found playing small and settling for a life that's less than the one you're capable of living” -Nelson Mandela. Talking about goals can be boring, but it doesn't have to be! By focusing on dreams and passions, you can get even unmotivated teens a little more excited about goal-setting. Why goals matter Setting goals helps you become who you want to become Goals help organize us and keep us focused Goal-setting is important for mental health Setting and achieving goals give you qualities and skills that set you apart from those who don't Tips for talking with your teen about goals Talking with an unmotivated teen Talking with an overly-motivated, perfectionist teen General tips How to set effective goals Write down the goal SMART Choose a “goal buddy” Name potential challenges and setbacks Schedule revisiting and revising dates Resources: Julie Nairman, Big Life Journal, How to Help Teens Set Effective Goals, https://biglifejournal.com/blogs/blog/guide-effective-goal-setting-teens-template-worksheet Leslie Riopel MsC, Positive Psychology, The Importance, Benefits, and Value of Goal Setting, https://positivepsychology.com/benefits-goal-setting/#:~:text=Setting%20goals%20helps%20trigger%20new,you%20don't%20properly%20manage SMART Teen App, https://www.teensmartgoals.com/goal-setting-for-teens The boring YouTube video on SMART goals https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCRSVRD2EAk Motivating YouTube videos for you and your teen Michelle Obama graduation speech https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxW5D5VPg_0 What Are Your Goals https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNITe9snHqA Denzel Washington graduation speech https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbnzAVRZ9Xc
Boundaries are so important. And can be so hard! Because boundaries are so vital, we have split this topic into a 2-part series. Part 1 will focus on how parents can set boundaries with their teen. Part 2 will focus on how teens can set boundaries in their own life. Unhealthy vs. Healthy Boundaries Unhealthy Boundaries Porous Boundaries Rigid Boundaries Healthy Boundaries Open, honest communication Flexible Able to protect yourself Help us respect others Application practice through examples Examples to give your daughter so she can practice applying healthy vs unhealthy boundaries How to get help in dangerous situations What to do if someone threatens harm to themselves or others if boundary requirements not met SafeUT (or similar app in other states) National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255 Suicidepreventionlifeline.org Resources: @unapologeticallysurviving @kristendukechats Barbara Greenburg, USN, 5 Ways to Help Teens Set Boundaries with Friends, https://health.usnews.com/wellness/for-parents/articles/2018-02-13/5-ways-to-help-teens-set-boundaries-with-friends Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, https://www.amazon.com/ Heather Senior Monroe, Newport Academy, Why Boundaries Matter for Teens, https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/mental-health/teens-health-boundaries/
Boundaries are so important. And can be so hard! Because boundaries are so vital, we have split this topic into a 2-part series. Part 1 will focus on how parents can set boundaries with their teen. Part 2 will focus on how teens can set boundaries in their own life. The basics of setting up boundaries How boundaries benefit teens (even if they won't admit it!) Do preparation work before talking with your teen Tips for how to set up boundaries How to deal with boundary testing Be firm and consistent Give respect to get respect Keys to enforcing consequences Remember that pushing boundaries is normal teen behavior (and healthy developmentally!) If they break the agreed-upon deal: Reiterate the deal broken Allow natural consequences If natural consequences don't apply, cooperatively decide on a fitting consequence Follow through (so hard!) Provide positive reinforcement when they do comply Spend time talking about a ton of other things besides boundaries Resources: Set realistic boundaries with your teenager https://parents.au.reachout.com/skills-to-build/connecting-and-communicating/things-to-try-building-trust/set-realistic-boundaries-with-your-teenager Stephanie Klindt, Marriage and Family Therapist Intern: 10 Way to Set Appropriate Boundaries with Teens http://teentherapycentersv.org/2014/12/30/10-ways-to-set-appropriate-boundaries-with-teens/
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