To Hump A Pillow with Ellen Melon

Description: In this New Year 2025 episode, I reflect on the biggest lessons I learned over the past year—a tradition that has shaped my personal growth since my late 20s. From the challenges of motherhood and navigating work relationships to the importance of curiosity, holiday traditions, and personal integrity, I share insights that shaped my year and might resonate with you. I also open up about my absence from podcasting, the realities of balancing work, family, and personal well-being, and my hopes for future episodes. Plus, I ask you: How do you reflect on your year? What lessons have stood out to you? Topics Covered: The growing pains of motherhood & step-parenting Navigating work relationships & personal growth The power of asking better questions The role of traditions in creating joy Showing up in relationships with more awareness Stick around for a tip on improving sleep, a powerful insight on breakups, and a challenge for you: What's a hard conversation you've been avoiding? Hit subscribe to catch future episodes, and let's reflect together!

Part 3 of 7! This season on To Hump a Pillow, I invite my fiance Mike to the podcast in a 7-Episode Relationship Series to discuss challenging conversations that occur in couple-hood. We'll deep-dive into 7 deliciously uncomfortable topics: How to talk about envious and jealous feelings How to talk about money and finances, spending habits Sex life - how it's changed over our relationship and how to ask for what you need On taking things too personally Maintaining individualism and ensuring alone time Day to day compromising Coparenting in a blended family In this episode, Mike and I discuss difficult feelings and values around money, like: The beginning of our sex life (early dating), first sexual experience First trimester sex Second/third trimester sex Post-partum sex life and how to navigate the emotional and physical mess Things that get in the way of our sex life For questions regarding this topic, please email hump@ellenmelon.com   Episodes I've called out in the episode: #60. The trick to using dating apps - a real convo with my boyfriend Mike #19. Finding self-love with The 4 Agreements #14. How sex changes in partnerships for first time parents, genito-pelvic pain, and arousal disorder - with Dr. Natalie Rosen #9. Vaginal tearing during child labor: Sex, anatomy, fear, and lessons learned - with Alyssa #7. The messages I received about sex when I was young - Part 1 of 2 - with Ellen Melon ____________________ For more info on 1-on-1 coaching program: https://www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com    

Dear listeners, pardon my absence! After taking a year off of the podcast, being pregnant, buying a house, having a baby, getting engaged, I am back and ready to share some new content on the podcast. This season on To Hump a Pillow, I invite my fiance Mike to the podcast in a 7-Episode Relationship Series to discuss challenging conversations that occur in couple-hood. We'll deep-dive into 7 deliciously uncomfortable topics: How to talk about envious and jealous feelings How to talk about money and finances, spending habits Sex life - how it's changed over our relationship and how to ask for what you need On taking things too personally Maintaining individualism and ensuring alone time Day to day compromising Coparenting in a blended family In this episode, Mike and I discuss difficult feelings and values around money, like: Money mindset How money was discussed in our homes, upbringing Our challenges with talking about money As a woman, making my own money to be able to make empowered decisions Spending money seperately, together, and on large purchases     For questions regarding this topic, please email hump@ellenmelon.com ____________________ For more info on 1-on-1 coaching program: https://www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com  

Dear listeners, pardon my absence! After taking a year off of the podcast, being pregnant, buying a house, having a baby, getting engaged, I am back and ready to share some new content on the podcast. This season on To Hump a Pillow, I invite my fiance Mike to the podcast in a 7-Episode Relationship Series to discuss challenging conversations that occur in couple-hood. We'll deep-dive into 7 deliciously uncomfortable topics: How to talk about envious and jealous feelings How to talk about money and finances Sex life - how it's changed over our relationship and how to ask for what you need On taking things too personally Maintaining individualism and ensuring alone time Day to day compromising Coparenting in a blended family In this episode, Mike and I discuss difficult feelings around envy and jealousy. We'll discuss: dating and setting the expectation that it's okay to talk about previous relationships within boundaries the difference between jealousy and envy and personal examples of how to navigate those feeling in our relationship when it comes up how jealousy and envy feel in the body (body mapping excercise) so that we know when it comes up For questions regarding jealousy and envy in your life, please email questions to hump@ellenmelon.com ____________________ For more info on 1-on-1 coaching program: https://www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com  

How do you integrate painful losses into your life while living? Grief is something we in the United States are known to do poorly. Perhaps it's the European decent that curved our culture's inability to feel feelings, perhaps it's industrial era-based where we learned that there's no time in our 40 hour work week to sit with grief, or perhaps our modern day fear machines (the media) have signaled to our bodies, 'It's not safe here - eject from your body.'   Whatever got us here, grief is an important part of our learning to be resilient and self-compassionate. And it's part of the human contract with life — As Dr Susan David says, “Discomfort is the price of admission to meaningful life.”   In this episode, I provide some education and philosophy on grief, the definitions, different types of grief. I also share about my year-long season of grief, showcasing how I found a place for grief, having successfully learned how to do it and how to integrate it. Grief is something we must all feel and move through in order to have the highest level of relationships with people we connect with and love. For, it is in our relationship to the self that we treat and extend to others.

In this episode we get to hear from a former client on his experience working with a sex and relationship coach. Addison and I worked for 4 months together back in January, meeting every 2 weeks via Zoom. Listen to the challenges he overcame in this episode.  I'm a coach who specializes in working with people pleasers, codependents, and people with anxious-attachement styles.  If you are someone who identifies with those labels, some challenges you might be having are… Being angry and blamey — sick of playing the victim and ready to stop being so judgemental all the time Tired of seeking external validation, or tired of being a person who gets into relationships and says, “okay how can I mold myself so this person likes me” Fixated on every little thing — your perfectionism gets in the way of you living life because you're so busy hustling for worthiness and what you produce How much control you need to have on everything, all the time and it's ruining your life and relationships Tired of leaning on coping mechanisms- ways in which you numb out, like emotional eating, netflix bingeing, shopping, drugs and alcohol Tired of the harsh and critical voice inside your head that's hating on you all the time If this sounds like you, it's time to remember your worth. It's time to cultivate happiness, authenticity, and self compassion, because my dear you have been performing what you think everyone else wants you to be and have lost your truest self and desires. Let's call your authentic self back shall we? For more info on the Remember Your Worth coaching program: https://www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching   ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

Welcome back to To Hump A Pillow! We're kicking off Season 4, our 20 episode season with episode #60 — on dating apps. When most of us think about dating apps, we roll our eyes at the thought of what a task that can be. “Dating apps suck” — a common refrain from most of my clients. I've said those word myself! What if the app isn't the problem? What if you're the problem?   I've always wanted to do an episode about dating apps, and now I've got the data and experience (my own and from clients) to create meaningful content around this topic.    In this episode I've brought my boyfriend of 6 months, Mike, to discuss our experiences of dating apps — the different intentions for getting on dating apps over the course of our dating journeys, including before we met, our experience of meeting on Hinge, and how using dating apps felt after being in long term relationships. Lastly, I'll walk through my dating app framework I use with clients who are single, thinking about dating, new to a relationship or just wanting to explore hook ups.   Dating App Framework: intention: what part of me wants to download a dating app? what part of me is holding me back from trying dating apps? profile creation: what meaningful and authentic stuff can I put out there? swiping considerations: what parameters do you have in place for swiping? what red flags are you looking for? what green flags? communications and boundaries: how do want to protect your time and energy by setting boundaries on communications? how long do you want to talk on the app until there's a sense of trust built? when is the right time to meet up? This framework is mostly geared toward people with an anxious-attachment style, historically quick to have sex, and often attract emotionally immature partners, people that are only physically attractive (vanity-based dating), or emotionally unavailable partners.  Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________  

Ayahuasca is a powerful medicinal medicine that comes from the Amazon. It has been around for centuries, needs to be taken seriously, and is not for everyone. In this episode, fellow coach and healer, Kate Bandmann and I discuss our ayahuasca experiences — the terror and discomfort to the enhancements and growths. This is the last episode of Season 3! I'll see you in the fall when we kick off Season 4! Interested in work with a coach on your relationship style and sex life? Check out more info here: https://www.ellenmelon.com/1on1   Find Kate here: https://www.instagram.com/elevate.integrate.therapy/ https://msha.ke/elevateintegratetherapy/ ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________  

In this episode, I fly solo in offering a different perspective on the Texas School Shooting. Yes, maybe it's gun law reform and yes, it's also hurting children in angry bodies. As more people feel disconnected, they grow angrier. Happy, secure children who have a sense of self don't shoot up schools. It's time to teach people how to process their childhood and FEEL THEIR FEELINGS.   I will discuss: My own experience of middle school and high school and what I noticed What is emotional neglect and emotional immature parents? 10 Themes of emotional neglect Mother wound Perfectionism as a byproduct of shame Belonging & Connection Shame, Empathy, Guilt, Humiliation and Embarrassment Cultivating authenticity 10 Themes of Emotional Neglect (from Dr Jonice Webbs “Running on Empty” Book): Feelings of Emptiness Counter-Dependence Unrealistic Self-Appraisal No Compassion for Self, Plenty for Others Guilt and Shame: What is Wrong With Me? Self-Directed Anger, Self-Blame Fatal Flaw (If People Really Know Me They Won't Like Me) Difficulty Nurturing Self and Others Poor Self-Discipline Alexithymia: Poor Awareness and Understanding of Emotions Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Books discussed: Running on Empty by Jonice Webb PhD with Christine Musello PsyD Adult children of emotionally immature parents : how to heal from distant, rejecting, or self-involved parents by Lindsay C. Gibson Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

What are you thoughts and feelings on porn? How do you use it in your life? In this episode Sex Coach, Jessica Childs and I discuss our own relationship with porn. Episode adopted from Erotic Ed, a YouTube Channel that was deleted. Orignial recording date: 7/8/21 Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: Episode #10. Thinking about a career in sex work? Common misconceptions about the sex work industry - with Alice Little 10 Skills for Repair Blog Post: https://www.somaticainstitute.com/blog/10-steps-to-successful-relationship-repair/ Dipsea: https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/the-new-look-and-feel-of-dipsea/ ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

Do you avoid conflict? Does it feel like you're walking on eggshells in your home, in your relationships? Then you need some education around repair.  In this episode I pull out the Erotic Ed Archives — a YouTube Channel Show hosted by S x Coaches, Jessica and Ellen Melon – where we discuss the fundamentals of a repair conversation. Repair meaning, a hard conversation after an argument or rupture between 2 people. It's important to learn repair because it is a skill of empathetic listening and self awareness that will greatly enhance your relationships. We'll talk about our own experiences with repair, our own examples of avoiding conflict, and walk through the 10 Steps of Repair, created by Celeste & Danielle of Somatica Institute. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about:   ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

For those of you who struggle with not being enough — your body type, your penis size, your ethnicity — this is an episode for you. In this episode I interview international sex expert and sex educator, Kenneth Play. Named the “world's greatest sex hacker” by GQ, he has been featured by more than one hundred media outlets, including The New York Times, Men's Health, Cosmopolitan, Huffington Post, and Nightline. Kenneth is an Asian immigrant with an average-sized penis who lived most of his early life with crippling sexual insecurity. Determined to overcome this anxiety, he dedicated his life to studying the complexities of academic sex research, exploring the mysteries of Tantra, immersing himself in the forbidden world of BDSM, and even joining the lustful chaos of underground sex parties. We'll talk about his journey as a young man, his current lifestyle and relationships, penis size, and squirting, He pulls a lot from his new book, BEYOND SATISFIED: A sex hacker's guide to endless orgasms, mind blowing connection, and lasting confidence. In Beyond Satisfied, Kenneth shares the sex hacking secrets he's successfully taught millions of men. This book is a cross between Bruce Lee's mixed martial arts approach and Tim Ferriss' 80/20 rule—but for sex. Far from just another “find her clitoris” guide, Beyond Satisfied distills hard science and hands-on experience into techniques that any man can successfully put into practice. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: https://kennethplay.com/ https://book.kennethplay.com/beyond-satisfied-bookll https://go.kennethplay.com/sex-hacker-pro-deal https://www.instagram.com/kenneth_play/ https://www.facebook.com/kennethplaypage/ Hacienda - desire/belonging, responsible hedonism, high novelty needs vs high security needs  “Open Smarter” by Dr Zhana Squirtingsurvey.com: https://kenneth-play.mykajabi.com/encore-1620413533   ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

How do you show up as the genuine YOU in dating? How do you know when you're performing? How can you ensure you're being authentic?   In this illuminating episode, I invite Connell Barrett, Men's Dating Coach, to talk about his book, about his journey toward becoming a dating coach, and his own relationship experiences. We talk about confidence and how it relates to trust — the foundation of a sustainable relationship.   Connell Barrett is the author of the best selling book Dating Sucks But You Don't and a renowned dating coach for men, helping them to be their most authentic selves in a way that doesn't creep out women or treat them as a notch on the bedpost. His communication framework, called ACE — Authenticity, Clarity and Expressiveness — teaches men how to channel their most confident self. Because women love confident men.  Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: https://datingtransformation.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/howtobeyourbestself/ https://www.instagram.com/datingtransformation/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt-JnM8eimynPRxpQDgsirg   ____________________ Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

“We have to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others. Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.” — Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart Belonging is the key to intimate friendships. Never once have I felt the need to change myself or be someone else around Amy, Tom, or Hailey. I've always been able to be authentically received by them. Who is your support team? Who are the people who know how to hold you (metaphorically and physically) when you're having a tough day? When you're experiencing shame? Not enough-ness? Guilt? Anger? Grief? It took me a long time to find these people and cultivate what we have, but here is a 3 Part Series with my support team and a peek behind the curtain into what our conversations look like (via phone because they all live outside MN). So many clients ask me: “How do I cultivate intimate friendships?” In a society wrought with fears and securities, it's so hard to trust anyone. It's hard to create a foundation of safety. Both parties need to be willing to take the risk and both parties need to be open and willing to hear how the other person wants to be loved. In this 3 Part Series, we talk to my 3 close friends — Tom, Amy, Hailey —  checking in about the state of our friendship. What's working? What's not? What's hard? What's easy? They are raw recordings containing laughter, vulnerability, compassion, and love. We are all showing up with a lot of trust in these interviews. If you need a glimpse into hard and fulfilling relationship conversations, please listen. Part 1 with Tom: In this episode, we discuss our rift in friendship over time — we questioned why friendships of the opposite gender experience distance when a new dating perspective comes into play. We talk about our college experience and how our friendship developed due to close proximity and collaboration in art projects. We also talk about why this friendship is important and what we'd like to see for ourselves in the future. Part 2 with Hailey: In this episode, Hailey and I talk about female friendships of our past — what worked and what didn't — recognizing that a lot of those friendships were centered around drama. We revisit a very hard conversation and disagreement about vaccines to showcase how to hold both compassion (and understanding) and disagreement in both hands lovingly. We close out with what we love about our friendship and what improvement can be made. Hailey and I co-peer a support group every other Sunday called “Anxious Attached Hearts Club” for those with anxious attachment who need a place to work it out and find more security in their community. Part 3 with Amy: In this episode, you'll see what a 12 year friendship looks like. I met Amy in college, so we discuss the early years of our friendship, getting to know each other, how we are both control freaks, how I tried to rescue Amy often in college (especially in her relationships). We discuss the ways in which we feel supported by each other — what we go to each other for. We'll discuss the areas in which we can step up our friendship and define what vulnerability and intimacy means for us in our friendship. We end with some sentiments and a conversation on trust. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: 1on1 coaching: www.ellenmelon.com/1on1 PARTS 1: https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/51-how-to-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-dear-friend-tom-wixo-part-1-of-3 PART 2: https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/52-how-to-do-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-best-friend-hailey-hosler-part-2-of-3 PART 3: https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/53-how-to-do-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-best-friend-amy-edler-part-3-of-3  

“We have to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others. Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.” — Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart Belonging is the key to intimate friendships. Never once have I felt the need to change myself or be someone else around Amy, Tom, or Hailey. I've always been able to be authentically received by them. Who is your support team? Who are the people who know how to hold you (metaphorically and physically) when you're having a tough day? When you're experiencing shame? Not enough-ness? Guilt? Anger? Grief? It took me a long time to find these people and cultivate what we have, but here is a 3 Part Series with my support team and a peek behind the curtain into what our conversations look like (via phone because they all live outside MN). So many clients ask me: “How do I cultivate intimate friendships?” In a society wrought with fears and securities, it's so hard to trust anyone. It's hard to create a foundation of safety. Both parties need to be willing to take the risk and both parties need to be open and willing to hear how the other person wants to be loved. In this 3 Part Series, we talk to my 3 close friends — Tom, Amy, Hailey —  checking in about the state of our friendship. What's working? What's not? What's hard? What's easy? They are raw recordings containing laughter, vulnerability, compassion, and love. We are all showing up with a lot of trust in these interviews. If you need a glimpse into hard and fulfilling relationship conversations, please listen. Part 1 with Tom: In this episode, we discuss our rift in friendship over time — we questioned why friendships of the opposite gender experience distance when a new dating perspective comes into play. We talk about our college experience and how our friendship developed due to close proximity and collaboration in art projects. We also talk about why this friendship is important and what we'd like to see for ourselves in the future. Part 2 with Hailey: In this episode, Hailey and I talk about female friendships of our past — what worked and what didn't — recognizing that a lot of those friendships were centered around drama. We revisit a very hard conversation and disagreement about vaccines to showcase how to hold both compassion (and understanding) and disagreement in both hands lovingly. We close out with what we love about our friendship and what improvement can be made. Hailey and I co-peer a support group every other Sunday called “Anxious Attached Hearts Club” for those with anxious attachment who need a place to work it out and find more security in their community. Part 3 with Amy: In this episode, you'll see what a 12 year friendship looks like. I met Amy in college, so we discuss the early years of our friendship, getting to know each other, how we are both control freaks, how I tried to rescue Amy often in college (especially in her relationships). We discuss the ways in which we feel supported by each other — what we go to each other for. We'll discuss the areas in which we can step up our friendship and define what vulnerability and intimacy means for us in our friendship. We end with some sentiments and a conversation on trust. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching Anxious Attached Hearts Club info here: https://calendly.com/ellenmelon/anxious-attached-hearts-club? ____________________ PARTS 1: https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/51-how-to-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-dear-friend-tom-wixo-part-1-of-3 PART 2: https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/52-how-to-do-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-best-friend-hailey-hosler-part-2-of-3 PART 3: https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/53-how-to-do-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-best-friend-amy-edler-part-3-of-3 __________   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

Who is your support team? Who are the people who know how to hold you (metaphorically and physically) when you're having a tough day? When you're experiencing shame? Not enough-ness? Guilt? Anger? Grief? It took me a long time to find these people and cultivate what we have, but here is a 3 Part Series with my support team and a peek behind the curtain into what our conversations look like (via phone because they all live outside MN). So many clients ask me: “How do I cultivate intimate friendships?” In a society wrought with fears and securities, it's so hard to trust anyone. It's hard to create a foundation of safety. Both parties need to be willing to take the risk and both parties need to be open and willing to hear how the other person wants to be loved. In this 3 Part Series, we talk to my 3 close friends — Tom, Amy, Hailey —  checking in about the state of our friendship. What's working? What's not? What's hard? What's easy? They are raw recordings containing laughter, vulnerability, compassion, and love. We are all showing up with a lot of trust in these interviews. If you need a glimpse into hard and fulfilling relationship conversations, please listen. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: #13. How dating and sex has changed from your early 20s to approaching 30s - an honest conversation with my dear friend Tom ____________________ Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

In this episode, I invite Nischa Phair back for a deep dive on receiving pleasure, authentic sexuality and how they are related. Nischa tells us about how pleasure “is relational thing” — it is an outward thing that we share. She talks about how authentic sexuality is a commitment to a process — something we might not always practice well, but try our best next time. She also speaks to some other off-topics like “collapsing the vanilla-kink duality,” “tend and befriend” behavior, and how breath and pleasure work together. All of these topics can be found in her book: FAWN: When No Looks Like Yes, available where books are sold. Don't forget to catch Part 1: #49. "Fawn: When No Looks Like Yes" — Her new book on the nervous system, ignoring red flags, and fawning — where we unpack the definition of fawning. How our nervous system is informed by the outside world. What happens in our body when we fawn — a shut down below the diaphragm. She tells us how this might be the reason women are without libido and disconnected from their pleasure and erotic energy. Nischa tells us her story and direct experiences of fawning. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: https://www.nischaphair.com/site/about https://www.instagram.com/nischaphair/ Buy the book: https://www.nischaphair.com/fawn-book ____________________ Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

  Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: https://www.nischaphair.com/site/about https://www.instagram.com/nischaphair/ Buy the book: https://www.nischaphair.com/fawn-book ____________________ Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Sources: Nicole LePera Instagram Post on Fawning: https://www.instagram.com/p/CTw_nUglQW7/  

Isn't pleasure supposed to be gluttonous? Is too much pleasure a bad thing? Maybe. But not enough pleasure might be worse. “Pleasure” is a word many associate with sexual experiences. But pleasure sits alongside joy, gratitude, and our erotic energy – all the stuff that makes us feel alive. In this episode, Dr Rachel Allyn and I discuss how sex and pleasure were discussed in her home growing up, and what exactly is somatic therapy? Dr Rachel will tell us about her framework and practice of Bodyfullness and unpack what's in her new book! About the book, “The Pleasure is All Yours”: Reconnect and reclaim your inner sense of pleasure and joy through the embodiment practices of bodyfulness, which put you in touch with the natural wisdom of your body and enhance your connection with others. In this timely guide, holistic psychologist, relationship and sex therapist, and yoga teacher Dr. Rachel Allyn introduces bodyfulness, an expansion of mindfulness and embodiment method that awakens the body's own capacity for healing and joy. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: https://www.drrachelallyn.com/ https://www.thepleasureisallyoursbook.com/   ____________________ Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

In this episode, sex coaches Jessica Childs and Ellen Melon compare sexual experiences. Raw, informal, honest, we share insight on what sex and intimacy are...messy, complex, playful, silly, and erotic. Originally recorded for Erotic Ed YouTube Channel on 8/5/21. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: https://www.facebook.com/OracleIntimacy Pleasure Priestess Program here: https://www.ellenmelon.com/1on1 ____________________ Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

Do you know how to talk to yourself nicely during hard or frustrating times? During times of anger or being triggered? Did you know that our level of emotional neglect directly impacts our ability to self-regulate and self soothe (in healthy ways)? Interested in tools and ways to show yourself compassion? In this episode, Somatic coaches, Jessica Childs and Ellen Melon walk through what self compassion is and how it sounds. Learn how to nurture yourself – the way you never got from your parents. Originally recorded on August 18 2021 for video. Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher. Click link in bio for listening options. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: https://www.facebook.com/OracleIntimacy Pleasure Priestess Program here: https://www.ellenmelon.com/1on1 ____________________ Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

In this episode, Coach Ellen Melon does a deep dive on all-things boundaries — Her own experience with boundaries, the lineage of women before her and their lack of boundary-setting, finishing with a somatic boundary-mapping meditation that will help you better identify when a boundary has been crossed. If you are a codependent, people-pleaser, or someone with an anxious attachment style, this episode is for you. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: Winter Solstice Resentment Release Workshop: https://calendly.com/ellenmelon/winter-solstice Books referenced: We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers: https://www.amazon.com/We-Should-All-Be-Millionaires/dp/1400221625 ____________________ Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

  Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: Early to Bed Inya Sonnet Vibrator & Clitoral Suction: https://www.early2bed.com/?ref=ellenmelon Lia Holmgren: https://liaholmgren.com/ https://www.instagram.com/lia.the.trader/ Kink Shrink Article: https://nypost.com/2018/10/04/kink-shrink-whips-marriages-into-shape-with-bdsm-couples-coaching/ Get her book: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1544501595/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=hwhbook-20&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=1544501595&linkId=563c6e5f7ce33e7b46042fde636c4cc5 ____________________

Here's the thing about having kids — it changes everything. Your physical body, your mind, your hormones, your sex life, your sleeping life, what you eat, when you eat, and beyond. Many people don't talk about all the sucky parts of child-rearing because of fear that they are “doing it wrong” or will be deemed “bad parents” but what NOT TALKING ABOUT IT actually creates is mothers' beliefs that “there must be something wrong with me or my kids.” Postpartum anxiety and depression are a huge part of this conversation — and happening more frequently. In the United States alone, approximately 70% to 80% of women will experience, at a minimum, the ‘baby blues'. Many of these women will experience the more severe condition of postpartum depression or a related condition. (https://www.postpartumdepression.org) Many mothers don't know they are experiencing it because they are in the throes of no sleep, new experience, and without a template. In this episode, we talk to Madeline Clair Fisher and her experience of postpartum depression and anxiety. She tells us about doing some preventative work ahead of pregnancy to make sure she set herself up for success, and how her husband actually called out her behavior — “Hey you're not acting like yourself, let's get support.” We also discuss her recovery story, having been addicted to drugs in high school. Madeline also shares with us a hard conversation she had with her husband about feeling resentment in their sex life...and what was really underneath that.   Interesting in working with a Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: Madeline Clair Fisher: https://www.instagram.com/madeline.clair/ ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

What happens to us in relationships when there is substance abuse? When we numb and cope with alcohol or drugs? How do we behave in intimate spaces with people we love? How is our sexuality impacted?  In this episode, David Marion is going to give us some male insight into his own sex life and way of “relationshipping” over the course of his substance abuse journey and recovery journey. David and I discuss how substances ruined the ability to have strong secure relationships, the type of  people he attracted, and other wisdom around pain, shame, and childhood trauma. Lend me your ears y'all — this is a raw and honest conversation with a man who has done the work (continues to do the work) and is sharing his experience. David is 13 years sober, and is a certified interventionist and recovery coach, author of the book, “Addiction Rescue: The No-BS Guide To Recovery,” public speaker and advocate for all suffering from substance use. Interesting in working with a Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: https://wellbeingcbdwaters.com Discount code “PILLOW10” at checkout for $10 off your first pack! Ships next day | Only in the US   David Marion info: https://www.theliferecoverycoach.com/ Book: Addiction Rescue: The No-BS Guide To Recovery ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

Motherhood is hard. I don't even have kids and I know that. I have this amazing opportunity to speak with Kiri Honey, Life Coach for Moms whose mission is to inspire women to empower themselves to take the lead in their lives and relationships. To support them to take action that feels aligned and authentic to their wants and needs and on a practical level, help them focus on the key steps needed to rekindle the passion and fun in their relationships. In this episode we hear about Kiri's experience in being a mom of 2 children, her postpartum depression she didn't know she had, and how to repair a relationship when an affair occurs — what kind of conversations, honesty and accountability are truly required. We also discuss her new digital series – 30 Interviews from Sex & Intimacy Experts called, “Falling in Love Again, Season 1.” These interviews are FREE until October 17th so sign up NOW. (Click link in show description or IG bio) Kiri's mission is to have a community of Mother's who are equipped with the confidence to value themselves and their worth as well as honour their truth are an unshakable force! Helping Mother's feel valued and part of a team will do wonders for humankind and future generations. The benefit of feeling loved, appreciated and respected has no bounds. Imagine how many families we could keep together if women were equipped with the tools they need to communicate their desires. Interesting in working with a Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: Falling in Love Again Digital Series for FREEuntil October 17th: https://kirihoney.com/FallingInLoveAgainEvent_Ellen All episodes for Falling in Love Again will release October 18th – Nov 4th, with a Replay Weekend Nov 5-7th Where can people find you? Kiri@kirihoney.com ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

There's a whole movement we're experiencing when it comes to religious shame and trauma. People are waking up, sick of being oppressed. The controlling nature of purity culture in religious communities has hurt women the most. In Part 2 of 2, we hear about Mel's more recent journey — coming off prescription drugs, her bout of psychosis, repairing the relationship with her husband, and being a mom. Her story is bold, raw, messy and gorgeous. If you are mom who is in the throws of family and religion and mental health, you should take a listen. In Part 1 of 2, we hear a detailed story from Faith Deconstruction Coach, Melanie Cain about her religious upbringing. Trigger warning: This episode explicitly talks about rape, assault, molestation, and other violence. Please take care of yourself as you listen along. Links we talked about: Find Melanie Cain and her stuff here: https://www.instagram.com/mel.unfiltered/ https://calendly.com/mel_unfiltered/group-transforming-trauma-after-mormonism?month=2021-09 Pleasure Priestess - 1on1 Coaching: https://www.ellenmelon.com/1on1 Workshop & Events: https://www.ellenmelon.com/events ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

There's a whole movement we're experiencing when it comes to religious shame and trauma. People are waking up, sick of being oppressed. The controlling nature of purity culture in religious communities has hurt women the most. In this episode Part 1 of 2, we hear a detailed story from Faith Deconstruction Coach, Melanie Cain about her religious upbringing. Trigger warning: This episode excplicitly talks about rape, assault, molestation, and other violence. Please take care of yourself as you listen along. ____________________ Links we talked about: Find Melanie Cain and her stuff here: https://www.instagram.com/mel.unfiltered/ https://calendly.com/mel_unfiltered/group-transforming-trauma-after-mormonism?month=2021-09 Pleasure Priestess - 1on1 Coaching: https://www.ellenmelon.com/1on1 Workshop & Events: https://www.ellenmelon.com/events ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

Welcome back to Season 3! We are kicking off our first episode of the season with some real talk — like I know any other kind? ;) I'm going to share some findings around my experience with grief, loss, and being alone, aiming at giving you greater awareness into your own process, patterns, behaviors, fears — the uncomfortable stuff. This is the type of stuff we don't really want to look at because it's painful. I'm going to share about my 48 hour weekend staying at a hermitage retreat center (a Franciscan tradition) in the summer of 2019, and the discomfort of being alone. My failing to grieve my 8 year relationship by covering it up with more relationships, grieving my body after becoming a type 1 diabetic, my experience with ayahuasca (a plant medicine) and what it revealed about grieving, and some readings around the grief and rupture, especially for women. I also offer an embodiment breathing exercise at minute 17:10 so fast-forward through that if that's not your thing. Interesting in working with a Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

In this episode, I reveal my journey of becoming what I call a Pleasure Priestess. My journey of being a self-hating, angry, boundary-less woman to a self-compassionate, holistic, spiritually leader for women. Little did I know at the core of this was a very hurt and neglected inner child that needed healing. My holistic journey started in 2008 when I gave up dairy. My spiritual journey started when I was 27 and started thinking about my relationship with alcohol. My healing journey is life long. I'm still on it. Pleasure Priestess 1-on-1 coaching for women who want to develop awareness of their deepest desires so that they can cultivate deeply connected, authentic relationships. Enrollment is open until August 31st for September 1-on-1 coaching! For 3 months, I am your support system for all things internal: Unearthing limiting beliefs, healing childhood wounds, mapping triggers, learning to calm the nervous system, and building new ways of self-talk and communicating with loved ones. First come, first serve basis. There are only 8 spots available. Fill out your application today to ensure your spot: www.ellenmelon.com/1on1 Deadline: August 31st If you're searching for self-compassion, sober-curious, and seeking pleasure and joy, I'd love to support you on your journey. This program means you're choosing courage over comfort. This program means to invest in yourself, your growth, your female divinity and royal worthiness. Uncover your power, fall in love with yourself. It is time to remember your worth.

It's not safe for men to show emotions in this lifetime. We're working on it but it's still not safe. Safety is necessary for ANYONE at ANYTIME to be vulnerable. I've hosted men's groups and interviewed many men — the theme is always the same — “Quit crying or I'll give you something to cry about, don't be a pussy, man up, toughen up.” Male conditioning in our culture is homophobic, dissmissive, and insensitive. In this episode Sam Sarver, drummer, mailman, record-collector enthusiast, and long-time friend since college discuss male emotions and sensitivities and what happens when we don't allow ourselves to feel feelings. In Sam's case, his mental health was suffering and so he chose to quit drinking. He'll tell us his story and motivations for wanting to grow and do better as a husband and father of a daughter, as well as his relationship to drinking and having sex at an early age. We'll hear about his sexual upbringing and how Catholic religion played a role and how he is starting to think about sex education as a father raising a daughter. Interesting in working with a Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ___________________ Links we talked about: Sam Sarver: https://www.instagram.com/noshirt_noshoes_/ Food for Worms: https://www.instagram.com/foodforwormspodcast/ Ellen Melon Events: https://www.ellenmelon.com/events ____________________ Aneros Prostate Massagers:  https://www.aneros.com/#a_aid=ellen 10% OFF with coupon code ELLEN ____________________ About Ellen Melon:  Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________  

In this episode, I speak with Darien Washington, co-host of podcast Food for Worms about a lot of different stuff. We touch on his sexual upbringing – early sexual encounters, period sex, and porn usage. We talk about his work in in the music industry, managing a label during a pandemic. We also talk about childhood memories - being out past dark and getting in trouble. He shares with us his personal insights on being a black man in Minnesota, with all this racism and shootings in the background, and some insights around black cultures' dismissive approach when it comes to boys feeling their feelings, “Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.”  Shame resilience workshop: How to quit taking things personally and calm ourselves down Register here: https://www.ellenmelon.com/events Aneros Prostate Massagers for Male Anal Pleasure: https://www.aneros.com/#a_aid=ellen Use coupon code ELLEN for 10% off your first purchase. Interesting in working with a Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

“How do I know if I'm a people-pleaser?” It's also known as the need to prove your worth. In this episode 2 people-pleasers join forces to talk about the ways in which people pleasing has showed up for throughout our lives. As Brene Brown says, “If our self worth is not high, we are quick to change we are.” Aparna Sagaram, is an LMFT providing Mental Health Services since 2014, helping couples and individuals step into more authentic versions of themselves and heal relationships. We'll hear from Aparna about her people-pleasing nature as it relates to being a child of immigrant parents — ”In the South Asian cultures women are taught to think of themselves last” — and what tools she uses to snap out of people pleasing. We'll also discuss boundary setting — giving yourself permission to walk away from something and circle back. Finally, we'll discuss some personal life experiences around self-abandonment, sexual upbringing, and taking things personally. We'll teach you how to ask for what you want and need...because your needs ARE important...you just have to believe that. Interested in working with a Sex & Relationship Coach? www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

You know the sensation you get when people discount your feelings? Like when you’re noticing a feeling and someone says, “Just think about something good or happy.” That’s toxic positivity. Being positive has become a new normal for moral correctness and it’s actually causing us harm. Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. It's a "good vibes only" approach to life. And while there are benefits to being an optimist and engaging in positive thinking, toxic positivity instead rejects difficult emotions in favor of a cheerful, often falsely positive, facade. In this episode, Love Coach, Rosa Maxwell and I speak openly about our behaviors of toxic optimism (a term she coined for herself), some examples of toxic positivity, and why we should show up to our difficult feelings. We discuss a little bit of shadow work integration, and some stuff around “the need to fix” and why we want to take away peoples pain. Rosa shares with us an example in her own relationship of how to redirect your partner when they are “trying to fix you.” Interesting in working with a Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Links we talked about: More on Toxic Positivity: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-5093958 https://www.rosamaxwell.co.uk/ https://www.instagram.com/rosamaxwell/ ____________________ Sources: Brene Brown, Dare to Lead Podcast, Episode on Emotional Agility by Dr Susan David  

How the heck do you make time for sensuality and intimacy in your long-term relationship? In this episode, we are going to get some amazing perspectives from an expert couple... Erwan and Alicia Davon, the best Extended Orgasm teachers in the world and arguably the most comprehensive relationship teachers in the world, have been together for almost 20 years. We’re going to hear from them about their daily sensual orgasm practice, what they teach as pleasure experts, explore feminine/masculine dynamics and polarities, learn what is “extended orgasm,” and what it is like to have kids and make time for pleasure in their long-term partnership. Their education & teachings cover psychological issues, lifestyle design, masculine/feminine dynamics, and sex/orgasm technique. They offer coaching for couples, individuals, and group coaching, both in-person and online. Interesting in working with a Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Links we talked about: Meet Alicia and Erwan: https://erwandavon.com/about/ Let's Talk Chemistry Video: https://youtu.be/XASFgI5giDo 5 Keys to a Successful Relationship: https://youtu.be/u1UKQ-X_Qs4 Erwan Davon Teachings # to text to set up Love Life Consultation: 415 308 9580 Link to click to set up Love Life Consultation: https://erwandavon.com/consult/   Links to the next Pleasure Courses in 2021: MAY 15 & 16, 2021 https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-pleasure-course-unleash-your-relationship-potential-tickets-138473123841?aff=erelpanelorg AUG 14 & 15, 2021 https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-pleasure-course-unleash-your-relationship-potential-tickets-153561325057   https://www.instagram.com/erwandavonteachings ____________________ Sources: Masters and Johnson Orgasm Graph

In this episode, we talk to Author, Provocateur, Agorist, and Freethinker, Khaliq Sim, about his sexual upbringing as a very religious virgin who loved to mack on girls, having a father who was the image of infidelity and objectifying women, his porn addiction, and his love for erotic poetry and spoken word. Khaliq Sim, (also known as Pablo Zambrano) grew up in NYC and just recently during the pandemic, relocated to Florida. He tells us why.  We talk a little bit about his book, Journey Through Perception, and his newest erotic poem, MIND FUK, which we’ll play for you. Khaliq Sim and I met at an Ayahuasca retreat, so we’ll also touch a little bit on that. Interesting in working with a Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Links we talked about: https://odysee.com/@Khaliqsim:d/Mind-Fu-k-By-Khaliq-Sim-(Parental-Advisory):0?r=6HBzVSEktU4HPu22oAD23mLyaMxpZpbG Book: Journey Through Perception https://khaliqsim.com/2018/06/09/welcome-to-khaliqs-journey/ ____________________ Sources:  

What is holistic kink? Conscious sex? Sexual fluidity? Energetics of sex? We’re gonna find out. In this episode, adult performer and coach, Mr. Dex Parker gives us a lesson in what to means to be an authentic sexual being. We’ll discuss his sexual upbringing, how he found himself in making adult content, and male conditioning — what society labels as “masculine” and the pressures that come with it. We unpack stigma and self-pleasure through his article, called, “Sexual Fluidity & Playing with my Butt.” We also speak personally to our own life experiences around love, loss, our kinks, and plant medicine. Interesting in working with a Sex & Relationship Coach?: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Links we talked about: Sexual Fluidity & Playing with my Butt — A personal Memoir of Sexual Emancipation: https://medium.com/@MrDexParker/sexual-fluidity-playing-with-my-butt-a-personal-memoir-of-sexual-emancipation-49b33f6e4b1e https://www.instagram.com/mrdexparker/ https://linktr.ee/Mrdexparker www.mrdexparker.com ____________________ Sources: NONE

How do you talk to your kids about sex? One conversation and done? Or start to lay bread crumbs from when they are young all the way to adolescence? Natajsa Visser has some great solutions and frameworks to help parents get some perspective on the topic. In this episode, we’ll discuss how her parents talked to her about sex – growing up in a religious household – how to approach “the talk” targeting mistakes parents should avoid, what age should your child be dating, how to define love, and hard conversations around pornography and technology — even what to do if your child is sexting. 
This was a really eye-opening conversation for me, shining a light on my sexual behavior as a teenager. I realized that a lot of my actions came from a place of seeking external validation and the approval of others. Again, it all comes down to loving yourself. At the same time, I really liked pursuing erotic experiences when I felt like I was providing and guiding the experience. #ControlFreak Interesting in working with a Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching   ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Links we talked about: Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNKcBZmGBJrr4aTf1r__MJA Coaching Program, Let’S Explain: https://letsexplain.org/ Natasja's Email: natasja@letsexplain.org ____________________ Sources: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNKcBZmGBJrr4aTf1r__MJA ____________________

What influences someone to become a Female Dominatrix? What does it look like in the room with Female Dominatrix? How does this career influence your personal life? In this episode Goddess Aviva, NYC Lifestyle Female Dominatrix, will tell us all about her career in sex work for the past 6 years. We’ll hear about her sexual upbringing (how was sex talked about in the home, at school, among peers), the stigma of sex work — how this industry is still looked down upon — and having worked with so many men, Goddess Aviva’s insights on how men are seriously sexually repressed, perhaps just as much as women. Aneros Prostate Massagers: https://www.aneros.com/#a_aid=ellenmelon Interesting in working with a Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Links we talked about: How to serve/contact Goddess Aviva, & where to find her goodies: Website: http://GoddessAviva.com Clips: http://AvivaAddict.com Onlyfans: http://AvivaFan.Club AVN: http://WorshipAviva.com Niteflirt: http://CallAviva.com Text/Call: http://Sextpanther.com/Goddess-Aviva ____________________ Sources: N/A

I’ve been dealing with Emotional Availability (well, the lack of it), for the first time in a relationship over the past 9 months, witnessing myself exhibiting behavior that makes me go, “I don’t like who I’m becoming” and feeling an overall sense of disempowerment. This is a very personal podcast episode where I’ll share some insights from my own intimate relationship and some patterns I’ve noticed myself exhibiting, like anxious attachment and codependency. In this episode, I’m going to teach you Attachment Theory 101 (anxious, avoidant, and secure), teach you the 3 Elements of Emotional Responsiveness by Dr. Sue Johnson, and discuss what accountability means in relationships and why it’s so important to be honest WITH OURSELVES in order to be honest with each other. I’ll end with a very private letter called, Dear Mr. Emotional Availability, a note to the person I want to attract in my life. This episode is for people who are feeling stuck in relationships, stuck in old patterns and behaviors, asking themselves, “Why is this happening? What am I doing?” Buckle up.   ____________________ Links we talked about: https://www.ellenmelon.com/links Quiz: What’s Your Attachment Style: https://www.ellenmelon.com/blog/attachment-styles-101 ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Sources: Book: ATTACHED by Amir Levine, Rachel Heller Book: Hold Me Tight, Seven Conversations of Lifetime of Love, by Dr Sue Johnson

“When you own your breath, no one can steal your peace.” I have to confess: I heard this a lot in my 20s and now that I’m in my 30s, I get it and see the value. As an Aquarius, an Air Sign, who has struggled with breathing her whole life, this episode educates you on the powerful tool we all have within us to calm ourselves down. Call it breathwork, call it meditation, call it mindfulness, call it embodiment.  We’ll begin with my background of improper breathing. Then I’ll teach you about 3 ways to move trauma out of the body, how breath is linked to orgasm and sexuality, and end with experiences on using breath as a tool to regulate my emotions, specifically anger and sadness. Just a heads up, there are breathing sounds in this episode. If you are looking to enhance your meditation or mindfulness practice, or want to learn breathing techniques for the first time, check out this upcoming event: Breathwork and Core Desire For Air Signs: An engaging 10-person workshop for Air Signs who need help getting out of their heads and into their bodies and want to learn more about their sexuality. ____________________ Links we talked about: Breathwork and Core Desire For Air Signs: https://www.ellenmelon.com/events The mathematics of weight loss | Ruben Meerman | TEDxQUT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuIlsN32WaE Want a consult? https://calendly.com/ellenmelon/40min ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Educator specializing in shame, attachment, and taking things personally. Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Sources: The Body Keeps Score, book by Bessel van der Kolk Dr. Andrew Weil Carolyn Elliott, PhD, author of Essential Kink, Unmask your shadow and embrace your power ____________________

Wild Raychel is going to tell us all about kink, feitsh, BDSM, and more. Rachel is on the path to becoming a sex & relationship coach specializing in kink & feitshes for people who are looking to get started in BDSM and don’t know where to begin or are intimidated of the community. She has been experimenting in the kink scene since 2016 but has been tapped into her own sadomasochism and power exchange fetishes for much longer than that. She boldly shares with us the fantasies she’s hot for, where it stems from in childhood, and explains the safety aspect of BDSM. In doing so teaches us about the wide world of kink and how it might heal some of our shame and deepest fears. Trigger warning: The content discussed here is very explicit. Do not listen to it around your kids or your parents. I want to say that the content discussed here, personal details from Rachel’s sex life — her fetishes and kinks — were all in the umbrella of consenting adults. No one was harmed in the process. ____________________ Links we talked about: BDSM quiz: https://www.bdsmtest.org/ Rachel’s info: https://www.instagram.com/wild.raychel/ ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Educator specializing in shame, attachment, and taking things personally. Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Sources: https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/kinky-sex-bdsm#what-does-kink-mean https://www.kinkly.com/a-bushel-of-dominants-what-kind-of-top-are-you/2/17672 https://www.bdsmtest.org/info https://kuldrinskrypt.com/types-of-bdsm-dominants ____________________

In this episode, Rachel Overvoll shares her story of growing up in a religious cult and its oppression of female pleasure, her healing through BDSM, a real example of an erotic consent conversation, and shares her observations and experiences in non-monogamy vs monogamy. Rachel and I are peers in the Somatica Institute Relationship and Sex Coaching Program.She and I are cut from the same cloth in that we hold back nothing — she tells us how she freed herself from the cult but is still unlearning the deeply rooted messages and patterns AND she courageously shares private stories of her sex life that we can learn from. ____________________ Links we talked about: Let’s Talk Pleasure with Rachel Overvoll: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lets-talk-pleasure/id1503733175?i=1000500045203 Her book, Finding Feminism ~ A Memoir by Rachel Overvoll: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07R43YZFW/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 Her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachelovervoll A list of Characteristics Associated With Cults with Dr. Janja Lalich: http://cultresearch.org/help/characteristics-associated-with-cults/ ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Educator specializing in shame, attachment, and taking things personally. Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Sources: None ____________________

Sexual health is now considered as one of the four pillars of health: Physical, Mental, Spiritual and Sexual. In this episode, Dr. Susie Gronski and I discuss the 6 Sexual Health Principles: Consent, Non-Exploitation, Honesty, Shared Values, Protection, Pleasure. She is a physical therapist specializing in male pelvic floor dysfunction and pain for people with penises — Sexual health is very important to her and she has spent a lot of time understanding it. We’ll hear from Dr. Susie about her sex-ed ubringing (how her parents introduced sex in the home), we disccuss our early adolescent sexual feelings, and then dive into the 6 Sexual Health Principles. We’ll talk through some examples of how these principles show up in a partnership, and we’ll do a deep dive into #4 – Shared Values: beliefs, morals, standards, ideas. — and role play out a scenario where you find porn on your partner’s computer, and provide a constructive way to address that hard and awkward conversation. ____________________ #1 Consent permission, agreement, approval.  You have the right to decide where, when, how, and with whom you live your life. #2 Non-Exploitation honor, respect, fairness. A relationship where all parties benefit equally and partners are mutually respectful. #3 Honesty sincerity, integrity, truthfulness. The highest form of intimacy, although not always easy. Truth is freeing. #4 Shared Values beliefs, morals, standards, ideas. What is precious to you might not be to others, but it should always be treasured and respected. #5 Protection safety, safeguard, security. Being safe allows pleasures to be more enjoyable. It’s all about balance and responsibility. #6 Pleasure enjoyment, satisfaction, happiness, joy. We need it, we chase it, and we love it; it’s ____________________ Links we talked about: Dr Susie Gronski: https://drsusieg.com/ ABOUT: Dr. Susie Gronski is a licensed doctor of physical therapy and a board certified pelvic rehabilitation practitioner. In addition to knowing a lot about your private parts, she’s also a certified health coach. Simply put, she’s the doctor for ‘everything down there.’ Her passion is to make you feel comfortable about taboo subjects like sex and private parts. Social stigmas aren’t her thing. She provides real advice without the medical fluff, sorta’ like a friend who knows the lowdown down below. Dr. Susie is the author of the #1 New Release In Men’s Health, Pelvic Pain: The Ultimate Cock Block and the creator of a unique hands-on training program helping men with pelvic pain become experts in treating themselves. https://www.facebook.com/drsusieg/ https://twitter.com/DrSusieG?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor Pelvic Pain: The Ultimate Cock Block Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/099869570X/  Dr. Douglas Braun Harvey, certified sex therapist: https://www.theharveyinstitute.com/about-us/doug-braun-harvey 6 Principles: https://www.theharveyinstitute.com/six-principles-of-sexual-health Gottman Card Decks: https://www.gottman.com/couples/apps/ ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Educator specializing in shame, attachment, and taking things personally. Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Sources: None ____________________

Leadership. Where is it? Who has it? Where has it gone? To be a leader you must be courageous — At least that’s what our history books tell us. But what does courage mean? What does it look like? For me, I think it looks like leading with vulnerability and being able to hold myself accountable. In this episode, I discuss the art of holding people accountable, Brene Brown's Armoring Up Process, her empathy and shame research, and sharing some raw personal examples of how I armor up and how I've held myself accountable. ____________________ Links we talked about: FREE + ONLINE Accountability Peer Group for Leaders: https://www.ellenmelon.com/events Ellen Melon™ | Alcohol; How it’s impacted my life and what I’ve learned about it {E4}: https://youtu.be/lKqfIeHbH9o Comparison Culture: Opt out of shame and opt into joy: https://youtu.be/C8iKIjVOi1I ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Educator specializing in shame, attachment, and taking things personally. Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Sources: Brene Brown, Unlocking Us Podcast - episode on Shame and Accountability Brene Brown, Dare to Lead Podcast ____________________

Good Boy, Hush (The Femme Domme Call to Arms) by Ellen Melon Produced by Jonah Weingarten and Tony Prestin Music by Jonah Weingarten Lyrics by Ellen Melon Vocals by Ellen Melon Back-up vocals by Mallory Jacobson and Jonah Weingarten Genre: Satire https://soundcloud.com/ellenmelonshow/good-boy-hush-a-call-to-arms-for-femme-dommes   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

SYM1 and I are totally cut from the same cloth, in that we both love talking about our sexuality and welcoming others to talk about their sexuality. This discussion is broken up into 2 parts.  In these 2 episodes, I have a conversation with SYM1, Minneapolis-based music artist who uses sexuality and erotica in her art. We’re going to hear about SYM1s sexual upbringing, but we’re also going to talk about her early experiences of racism. A couple points of our discussion: The definition of “malado,” big booty stigma, black but passing, objectification, fetishizing the black woman, viewing black people as less than, and the story of Sarah Bartman, “Hottentot Venus.” What does this have to do with “the sex-ed curriculum you never had?” Understanding peoples experiences has everything to do with how we relate to one another, and if as a society, white people unconsciously and systemically view black people as less-than, we’ve got some work to do, don’t we? And it starts with empathy.   https://www.instagram.com/no1butsym1/ https://www.facebook.com/no1butsym1/ ____________________ Links we talked about: N/A ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Educator specializing in shame, attachment, and taking things personally. Ellen Melon links: Book a FREE 40-MIN consultation: https://calendly.com/ellenmelon/40min Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________   Sources: Sara Baartman: https://www.sahistory.org.za/people/sara-saartjie-baartman Mulatto definition in 1850s: https://scholar.harvard.edu/jlhochschild/publications/racial-reorganization-and-united-states-census-1850-1930-mulattoes-half-br   ____________________

SYM1 and I are totally cut from the same cloth, in that we both love talking about our sexuality and welcoming others to talk about their sexuality. This discussion is broken up into 2 parts.  In these 2 episodes, I have a conversation with SYM1, Minneapolis-based music artist who uses sexuality and erotica in her art. We’re going to hear about SYM1s sexual upbringing, but we’re also going to talk about her early experiences of racism. A couple points of our discussion: The definition of “malado,” big booty stigma, black but passing, objectification, fetishizing the black woman, viewing black people as less than, and the story of Sarah Bartman, “Hottentot Venus.” What does this have to do with “the sex-ed curriculum you never had?” Understanding peoples experiences has everything to do with how we relate to one another, and if as a society, white people unconsciously and systemically view black people as less-than, we’ve got some work to do, don’t we? And it starts with empathy.   https://www.instagram.com/no1butsym1/ https://www.facebook.com/no1butsym1/ ____________________ Links we talked about: N/A ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Educator specializing in shame, attachment, and taking things personally. Ellen Melon links: Book a FREE 40-MIN consultation: https://calendly.com/ellenmelon/40min Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________   Sources: Sara Baartman: https://www.sahistory.org.za/people/sara-saartjie-baartman Mulatto definition in 1850s: https://scholar.harvard.edu/jlhochschild/publications/racial-reorganization-and-united-states-census-1850-1930-mulattoes-half-br   ____________________

Welcome back to Season 2 of To Hump A Pillow! My aim with this podcast is to enhance the language and conversation around sex to give partners, people, the community, the courage to speak up, ask questions, and discover pleasure. To choose pleasure, love and joy and opt out of suffering. I’m kicking off this season with something that I have found incredibly helpful and an agent for change. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book is directly connected to our relationship with SELF, the most important relationship in our lives. I’m going to walk through each of the 4 agreements and give you some intimate examples of how they’ve showed up in my life. https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319 ______________________ Donate to the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/ellenmelon Ellen Melon Social Media links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA www.ellenmelon.com

As we close season 1, Ellen Melon shares with you some updates from her personal life, and what is coming down the pipeline in Season 2, coming this October 2020. Events & Goddess Gatherings: https://www.ellenmelon.com/events "Good Boy (Hush)" song coming this 2020 election Produced by Jonah Weingarten and Tony Prestin Music by Jonah Weingarten Lyrics by Ellen Melon