Podcast appearances and mentions of kyle benson

Divorce is often treated with silence, judgment, and shame—even when it follows years of effort, therapy, and personal growth. In this powerful episode of The Roadmap to Secure Love, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson unpack the emotional realities of healing from divorce, especially when support from friends, family, or faith communities is missing.They explore:Why grief after separation is valid and necessaryHow to set boundaries with unsupportive peopleThe difference between shame and self-compassionWhat it means to trust your inner voice when a relationship endsWhether you initiated the separation or are navigating unwanted loss, this conversation will help you process the pain, reclaim your worth, and take meaningful steps toward healing.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️ Additional Resources for You: Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

In this episode of The Roadmap to Secure Love, Dr. Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore a topic that resonates deeply with many—people pleasing and the impact on sex. Rooted in anxious attachment, people pleasing can show up in the most intimate parts of our relationships, often leading to obligatory sex, disconnection, and resentment.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2595: Kyle Benson offers a compassionate, step-by-step framework to help you encourage your partner to consider couples therapy, not by pointing fingers, but by emphasizing teamwork, understanding, and mutual growth. With insights grounded in emotional safety and respect, Benson shows how to communicate your hopes for the relationship in a way that fosters trust, not resistance. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-steps-to-inspire-your-partner-to-join-you-in-attending-couples-therapy/ Quotes to ponder: “Sweetheart, I want us to attend couples therapy that's designed to help us communicate better. I'm excited about it because I think it will help me understand more about you and how I can be a better partner.” “Requests become demands when our partner believes they will be blamed or punished if they don't comply.” “Focus on being the change you wish to see in the relationship. Doing so may inspire them to want to make more progress with you.” Episode references: Nonviolent Communication: https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2594: Kyle Benson offers a compassionate roadmap for encouraging a hesitant partner to try couples therapy, emphasizing empathy, timing, and emotional safety. His five-step approach helps shift the conversation from blame to mutual understanding, creating a foundation for connection and healing through professional support. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-steps-to-inspire-your-partner-to-join-you-in-attending-couples-therapy/ Quotes to ponder: "Don't try to inspire your partner when you are emotionally charged." "When we ask our partner to go to therapy, we're asking them to face pain and uncertainty." "Use empathy to validate your partner's fears or concerns." Episode references: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): https://iceeft.com/what-is-eft/ The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson dive deep into the emotional layers of relationship healing. If you've ever found yourself guarded, even in a secure and loving relationship, you're not alone.Many of us carry the ghosts of past heartbreak—betrayals, abandonment, and emotional wounds that still shape how we see and respond to love today. We may enter a new, healthy relationship, yet remain stuck in old fear cycles, unintentionally pushing away the very connection we long for.In this episode, you'll discover:Why past pain shows up in healthy relationshipsHow to identify and work through your emotional raw spotsThe power of reassurance and vulnerability with a safe partnerWhy your brain is wired to protect (not connect)A simple 3-step script to ask for support without pushing your partner awayWhether you're recovering from betrayal or just learning to let your guard down, this conversation is filled with actionable insights to help you build deeper trust, connection, and security.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️ Additional Resources for You: Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

Talking about sex can be one of the most vulnerable conversations in a relationship—especially when desire doesn't align. In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, certified sex therapists Dr. Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson guide you through the often misunderstood moment when a partner says no to sex—and how to embrace the ‘soft no' to enhance connection.You'll learn:How to talk about intimacy in a way that is connectingWhat is a ‘soft no', and how it can help preserve emotional and physical intimacyHow focusing on what feels good create a safe space for erotic explorationIf you are wondering how to make sex and intimacy expansive, this episode is for you.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️ Additional Resources for You: Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

Bringing up boredom in your sex life can feel like walking through a minefield. In this episode of The Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle explore how to talk securely about boring sex with your partner—without triggering shame, defensiveness, or disconnection.Many couples experience seasons where intimacy feels mundane or uninspired. But trying to address spicing up sex can lead to misunderstandings or hurt feelings. This episode offers a compassionate, attachment-based approach to navigating the “we are having boring sex” conversation with care and connection.

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, Kim and Kyle dive deep into one of the most essential—yet overlooked—tools for emotional well-being: your gut. If you've ever struggled with how to trust yourself, this conversation offers powerful insight into why so many of us ignore our inner signals—and how we can begin to honor them instead.

Do you ever find yourself emotionally overwhelmed in the middle of a conversation, reacting in ways you later regret? This episode of Roadmap to Secure Love dives deep into emotional flooding—what it is, why it happens, and how to navigate it effectively in relationships.What You'll Learn in This Episode: 

Parenting is one of the most challenging yet rewarding journeys—but what happens when your own childhood experiences shape how you show up for your kids? In this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle dive into the realities of breaking generational parenting patterns and how self-awareness, emotional regulation, and self-care play a crucial role in raising secure, resilient children.Challenges Discussed:

Have you ever had an intense emotional reaction in your relationship and wondered, Where did that come from? In this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, we dive deep into relationship triggers and how past experiences—like childhood fears—shape the way we connect with our partners.Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore the primal fears that drive our reactions, how our nervous system responds to emotional threats, and why self-compassion and curiosity are key to breaking unhealthy patterns. By understanding the root of your fears, you can begin to regulate your emotions, communicate more effectively, and build a more secure and loving relationship.Key Takeaways:

Parenting can feel like pure chaos—diapers, bottles, sleepless nights, and the endless juggle between work and family life. In this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, we tackle the heart of managing parenting chaos and explore how to stay connected as a couple amidst the stress.Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson share practical strategies, including:Seeing the stress as the problem, not your partnerUsing the "Name it, Tame it, Change it" method to navigate challengesCelebrating small wins to strengthen your partnershipExpanding your support network for more balancePrioritizing connection over perfection in your homeWhether you're struggling with sleepless nights or feeling disconnected from your partner, this episode is packed with valuable insights to help you survive—and thrive—through the chaos of parenting.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Sign up for The Secure Attachment Path course to learn practical tools for building secure connections. (Link is in the show notes).Until next time, stay connected and keep listening with love.Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

Through the lens of reflection, this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love dives deep into the challenges and growth of the past year. Kim and Kyle explore how embracing personal change, setting boundaries, and processing grief can lead to healthier, more secure relationships.Kim shares her journey of finding her voice and letting go of toxic dynamics, while Kyle discusses the power of resilience, community support, and self-compassion. This episode is a heartfelt look at how reflecting on struggles can inspire meaningful growth and connection.Key Takeaways:Using your voice with courageEmbracing grief to growBuilding resilience through supportLetting go of toxic tiesCreating space for meaningful connectionsFollow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Sign up for The Secure Attachment Path course to learn practical tools for building secure connections. (Link in the show notes).Until next time, stay connected and keep listening with love.Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, we dive into the fascinating world of new relationship energy and how our attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—impact the way we experience it. New relationship energy brings excitement and possibilities, but it can also uncover deeper insecurities and attachment patterns that may challenge us along the way.We explore:How secure attachment shows up in dating: Staying grounded, present, and true to oneself without rushing into the future.Anxious attachment's impact on new love: The tendency to become preoccupied, idealize the relationship, and struggle with insecurity.Avoidant attachment's approach: Keeping emotions at arm's length and often ghosting or avoiding vulnerability.The push-pull dynamic of disorganized attachment: Craving connection yet fearing closeness.This episode provides powerful insights and practical tips for recognizing our attachment patterns and nurturing healthier, more secure connections. Whether you're single or in a relationship, understanding how attachment shapes new relationship energy is essential to cultivating lasting love.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Sign up for The Secure Attachment Path course to learn practical tools for building secure connections. (Link in the show notes).Until next time, stay connected and keep listening with love.Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

In today's episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, we dive deep into the power and challenges of vulnerability in relationships. For many, opening up emotionally can feel risky, especially with cultural messages suggesting that vulnerability, particularly for men, may weaken respect and attraction. But what if the opposite is true? Kim and Kyle explore how vulnerability fosters emotional safety, builds trust, and enhances intimacy in committed partnerships.Through an attachment lens, we discuss:The role of emotional safety in deepening connectionHow vulnerability strengthens respect and trustBalancing emotional support to avoid the parent-child dynamicWhy avoiding emotions can create distance in relationshipsHow open communication builds security and true intimacyWhether you're working to deepen your current relationship or seeking insight into healthier connections, this episode provides actionable guidance to navigate the often complex terrain of vulnerability in relationships.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Sign up for The Secure Attachment Path course to learn practical tools for building secure connections. (Link in the show notes).Until next time, stay connected and keep listening with love.Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2386: Kyle Benson explores how successful couples manage emotional disconnection by focusing on the power of repair. Even in the healthiest relationships, conflicts are inevitable, but what sets emotionally connected couples apart is their ability to recover from these ruptures. Benson emphasizes the importance of maintaining friendship, emotional understanding, and effective repair attempts to sustain a strong, loving bond. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/repair-secret-weapon-emotionally-connected-couples/ Quotes to ponder: "How couples repair is what separates the relationship Masters from the Disasters." "The real difference between the couples who repaired successfully and those who didn't was the emotional climate between partners." "Your repair attempt is only going to work well if you have really been a good friend to them, especially lately." Episode references: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0553447718 The Science of Trust: https://www.amazon.com/Science-Trust-Emotional-Attunement-Couples-ebook/dp/B005459RHI Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, we dive deep into the powerful emotions of jealousy and envy and how they can impact our relationships. Jealousy often stems from the fear of losing something we already have, while envy arises when we desire something others possess. For many, overcoming envy can feel overwhelming, but it can also be an opportunity for growth. Kim and Kyle explore the challenges of these emotions and offer insights on how to manage them in a healthy, secure way.Key Takeaways:How jealousy and envy signal deeper attachment needs.The influence of attachment styles on how we experience jealousy.Why vulnerability is the key to transforming jealousy into connection.How envy can guide us toward what we truly desire in life.Practical steps for building security and emotional resilience in relationships.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Sign up for The Secure Attachment Path course to learn practical tools for building secure connections. Until next time, stay connected and keep listening with love.Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle dive deep into the power of community and connection during times of crisis. From natural disasters to personal loss, emotional healing after trauma often begins with how we show up for each other. They explore the challenges of asking for help, the importance of truly listening, and the small but meaningful ways we can offer support—both practically and emotionally.Key takeaways include:The healing power of empathy and connection.Why it's hard to ask for help, and how to overcome that.How to support loved ones through grief, loss, and crisis.The importance of community in building emotional resilience.Practical ways to offer support that truly meets the needs of others.By the end of this episode, you'll gain valuable insights on how to strengthen your relationships and become a safe base for those you care about during difficult times.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Sign up for The Secure Attachment Path course to learn practical tools for building secure connections. (Link in the show notes).Until next time, stay connected and keep listening with love.Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

Welcome to another episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast! In this episode, we dive deep into the Tit-for-Tat Cycle—a common relationship pattern that often leaves couples feeling unseen, overwhelmed, and disconnected. Kim and Kyle unpack the challenges many partners face when it feels like they're competing over who does more, rather than supporting each other through the stress of daily life.Key Takeaways:The Tit-for-Tat Cycle is rooted in feelings of overwhelm and stress, not the tasks themselves.Leading with vulnerability instead of blame can shift the dynamic and restore emotional connection.Small changes, like asking for help with kindness and gratitude, can break the cycle and bring couples closer.Life won't stop being busy, but prioritizing connection over perfection helps build a stronger partnership.Join us as we explore how to stop keeping score in your relationship, fight the real enemy—overwhelm, and create a supportive, secure bond. If you've ever felt stuck in this cycle, this episode is for you!

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, we dive into the often misunderstood topic of secure solo sex. Many people receive stigmatizing messages that make them feel guilty or ashamed about masturbation, viewing it as harmful to their relationships or even themselves. But as research shows, solo sex offers numerous physical, emotional, and relational benefits—if approached in a healthy, mindful way.Challenges Addressed:Breaking down the harmful stigmas surrounding solo sex.Overcoming societal guilt and misconceptions about masturbation.Navigating the balance between solo and partnered intimacy.Key Takeaways:Secure solo sex is a powerful form of self-care that improves stress relief, blood flow, and overall health.Self-exploration enhances body awareness, helping you communicate your needs and desires to your partner.Engaging in solo sex mindfully can strengthen your relationship by fostering deeper intimacy and connection.Tune in to learn how embracing secure solo sex can lead to better self-care, improved mental health, and stronger relationships. Don't forget to subscribe for more insights on building secure connections with yourself and others!#SecureSoloSex #SelfCare #HealthyRelationships #HealingMoments #RoadmapToSecureLoveTake the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, we dive deep into one of the most common challenges couples face: desire discrepancy. If you or your partner struggle with low libido, this episode is for you. Kim and Kyle explore the impact of daily stress, mental load, and constant productivity on sexual desire. They also provide practical low libido solutions to help couples reconnect with their bodies, prioritize pleasure, and reignite intimacy.Key Takeaways:How stress and mental load affect libidoWhy pleasure and non-productive time matter for intimacyThe importance of reclaiming your erotic identityPractical tips to create space for connection, even in busy livesReady to break the cycle of low libido and bring more pleasure into your relationship? Tune in now!For more information and resources, visit HealingMomentsCounseling.net.#LowLibidoSolutions #RelationshipAdvice #RoadmapToSecureLove #HealingMomentsCounselingTake the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

In this episode of the "Roadmap to Secure Love" podcast, we dive deep into the often overlooked topic of high libido challenges in relationships. If you've ever felt the frustration and emotional turmoil that comes with having a higher libido than your partner, this episode is for you.Dr. Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore the complexities of desire discrepancy, offering insights into the unique struggles faced by the higher libido partner. We discuss the feelings of rejection, shame, and anger that can arise when your sexual needs aren't met and how these emotions can impact your relationship.Key takeaways include strategies for validating your own desires, shifting the focus to positive interactions, and creating a safe, inviting environment for intimacy. Whether you're the higher libido partner or simply looking to understand this dynamic better, this episode offers valuable advice on navigating these challenges and fostering a deeper connection with your partner.

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, we tackle one of the most common yet challenging aspects of relationships: creating change in relationships when it feels like you're stuck in a frustrating cycle. We dive into why change can be so difficult to achieve and explore practical strategies to help you move forward.Key takeaways include:The importance of setting boundariesFocusing on self-growthCommunicating effectively to foster a healthier and more connected relationship. If you've been struggling to create the change you desire in your relationship, this episode is for you.For more insights and support, visit HealingMomentsCounseling.net.#CreatingChangeInRelationships #RoadmapToSecureLove #RelationshipAdvice #Boundaries #SelfGrowthTake the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

Navigating relationships can be one of the most challenging aspects of our lives, especially when it comes to knowing when to hold on and when to let go. In this episode of the "Roadmap to Secure Love" podcast, Kim and Kyle dive deep into the complexities of secure attachment and how it empowers us to make critical decisions about our relationships. From setting boundaries to trusting your gut instincts, they explore the hard truths about walking away from relationships that no longer serve your emotional safety.Key Takeaways:The role of secure attachment in making relationship decisionsHow to set boundaries that protect your well-beingRecognizing when it's time to walk away from toxic relationshipsUnderstanding the challenges faced by those with anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment stylesWhether you're struggling with a romantic relationship, a friendship, or family dynamics, this episode provides valuable insights on how to navigate relationships with confidence and self-respect.For more episodes and resources on secure attachment, visit HealingMomentsCounseling.net.Listen now, and don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more relationship insights!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

This week on the podcast, Ernst La Haye joins us to talk about PeopleSoft in Europe, building open-source PeopleSoft projects, what his favorite new feature in PeopleSoft is. The PeopleSoft Administrator Podcast is hosted by Dan Iverson and Kyle Benson. Show Notes Ernst Introduction @ 1:00 Future of PeopleSoft and popularity in Europe @ 2:00 Github Projects @ 10:00 Cy2 Slack channel @ 26:45 Application Service Framework @ 30:00

This week on the podcast, Kyle talks about the oci-cli tool and how has customized its behavior using the .ociclirc file. Dan shares two of his DPK modules that work with OCI to support tags and building failover strings for the web server. The PeopleSoft Administrator Podcast is hosted by Dan Iverson and Kyle Benson. https://traffic.libsyn.com/psadminio/342_-_.ociclirc_mixdown.mp3 Show Notes Cloud Shell and .ociclirc @ 2:00 yq @ 16:30 oci_facts @ 20:30 oci_discovery @ 27:00

This week on the podcast, Kyle and Dan about the future pathways to take to make sure you are taking advantage of the PeopleTools platform. The PeopleSoft Administrator Po dcast is hosted by Dan Iverson and Kyle Benson. Show Notes PeopleTools Pathway  General PeopleTools Changes @ 5:45 Development Tools @ 12:30 Search Capabilities  @ 24:00 Infrastructure Platforms @ 32:30 Lifecycle Management @ 46:15 References Links: Oracle Extends Support for PeopleSoft to 2034 PeopleSoft Info Portal – PeopleTools Delivered features (CFO tool) New feature overview (Doc ID 2991346.1) Product roadmap (Doc ID 1966243.2) Maintenance Schedule (Doc ID 876292.1) PeopleSoft – Ideas Lab Graham Smith's Data for PeopleTools Releases Critical Patch Updates, Security Alerts and Bulletins PeopleSoft PeopleTools Maintenance Patches and Deployment Packages Released for 2024 - All (Doc ID 2997838.1) E-CERT: Finding a Certified Combination of PeopleTools, PeopleSoft Enterprise Applications, and Rdbms: an Example with Screenshots (Doc ID 1463015.1) PeopleSoft on Oracle Cloud Infrastructure E-UPG: New PeopleTools 8.60 Upgrade Projects - PPLTLS859 and PPLTLS860 (Doc ID 2910205.1)

Mayor Nancy Backus sits down with Anti-Homelessness Director Kent Hay, Outreach Worker Drew Conley, and community member Kyle Benson, who spent years homeless in Auburn. Kyle talks about his journey from heavy drug use to jail to now being clean and sober and in permanent housing. This is episode is also a follow-up to our very first episodes in season 1, titled "Addressing Homelessness in Auburn." There are three parts, please give them a listen!

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2606: Kyle Benson from Gottman.com explores the complexities of financial conflicts in relationships, emphasizing that disagreements about money often stem from differing values and meanings attached to it. He offers five rules for having constructive conversations about money, focusing on mutual understanding, respect, and validation rather than mere persuasion or argument. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-rules-constructive-conflict-conversation-money/ Quotes to ponder: "Conflicts about money in a marriage aren't really about money. Most arguments are about what money means to each person in the relationship." "Happy couples start conflict conversations gently and allow their partner to influence them." "There is only one essential assumption that will make the conversation about hurt feelings or the aftermath of a fight workout constructively: that in every disagreement or miscommunication, there are always two points of view, and they are both valid." Episode references: The Intimate Enemy by George Bach: https://www.amazon.com/Intimate-Enemy-Fight-Fair-Marriage/dp/068801884X Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2606: Kyle Benson from Gottman.com explores the complexities of financial conflicts in relationships, emphasizing that disagreements about money often stem from differing values and meanings attached to it. He offers five rules for having constructive conversations about money, focusing on mutual understanding, respect, and validation rather than mere persuasion or argument. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-rules-constructive-conflict-conversation-money/ Quotes to ponder: "Conflicts about money in a marriage aren't really about money. Most arguments are about what money means to each person in the relationship." "Happy couples start conflict conversations gently and allow their partner to influence them." "There is only one essential assumption that will make the conversation about hurt feelings or the aftermath of a fight workout constructively: that in every disagreement or miscommunication, there are always two points of view, and they are both valid." Episode references: The Intimate Enemy by George Bach: https://www.amazon.com/Intimate-Enemy-Fight-Fair-Marriage/dp/068801884X Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2606: Kyle Benson from Gottman.com explores the complexities of financial conflicts in relationships, emphasizing that disagreements about money often stem from differing values and meanings attached to it. He offers five rules for having constructive conversations about money, focusing on mutual understanding, respect, and validation rather than mere persuasion or argument. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-rules-constructive-conflict-conversation-money/ Quotes to ponder: "Conflicts about money in a marriage aren't really about money. Most arguments are about what money means to each person in the relationship." "Happy couples start conflict conversations gently and allow their partner to influence them." "There is only one essential assumption that will make the conversation about hurt feelings or the aftermath of a fight workout constructively: that in every disagreement or miscommunication, there are always two points of view, and they are both valid." Episode references: The Intimate Enemy by George Bach: https://www.amazon.com/Intimate-Enemy-Fight-Fair-Marriage/dp/068801884X Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

***NOTE: We had some audio issues at first so you'll hear a funny break around 15:25. This took a while for us to fix, so it derailed our recording a while and we were short on time. We had to move through the astrology forecast this month a little faster than we originally planned. It's still an excellent episode though, obviously. Enjoy the chaos!February is a short month, and this is a short forecast, but there is a surprising amount of astrological energy playing out! We do our best to condense these themes down into bite-sized pieces for you to make this month as fruitful as possible.Major astrology topics we cover in this episode include: the New Moon in Aquarius, the Full Moon in Virgo, the 5 planets changing signs, what it means to have an abundance of energy in Aquarius, how Pluto is getting awakened this month, and the significance of the conjunction between Chiron and the North Node in Aries. We're relating this month's energy to the concept of "repair" - which isn't about fixing something that's broken, but about getting on the right track. In order to achieve repair, we suggest learning how to play "The Infinite Game." Resources discussed in this episode:(Website) The Gottman Institute(Book) "Finite and Infinite Games" by James Carse(Article) "R is for Repair" by Zach Brittle, The Gottman Institute(Article) "Repair is the Secret Weapon of Emotionally Connected Couples" by Kyle Benson, The Gottman Institute(Music Video) "Mi Corazón" by Jacob Collier ft. CamiloAdditional Resources:Clairannoyance InstagramClairannoyance TikTokClairannoyance WebsiteMegan's InstagramMegan's TikTokMegan's WebsiteRyan's InstagramRyan's TikTokRyan's WebsiteP.S. Rate us 5 stars please and leave us a review! It helps so much!P.P.S. Get Ryan's new astrology calendar BizmosCEO which includes tons of additional membership perks!

On today’s episode, the well known author, Kyle Benson joins Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz todiscuss the simple principles that make marriage last. Kyle discusses the profound effectiveness of Emotion Focused Therapy in the stabilization of relationships. In addition, he recognizes the benefits of using the research by John and Julie Gottman to maintain a healthy relationship. Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction: Who is Kyle Benson?3:00 - Combination of Gottman Method and Emotional Based Therapy8:36 – What is the longing for attachment?10:15 –Am I enough? Am I worthy of love and care?12:50 – Attachment Strategies/Styles16:03 – Emotion Focused Therapy20:15 – Conflict is fire22:43 – One sided partner effort26:10 – What is the key to a stronger marriage connection?27:25 – Kyle’s resources28:40 – Takeaways About Kyle Benson: Kyle studies how partners in healthy relationships intentionally –talk to each other, have passionate sex, stay emotionally connected, and more – to uncover the tools and perspectives that make love last. His work has been featured in dozens of major media channels including The Gottman Institute, Business Insider, U.S. News, The Chicago Tribune, Huffington Post, and more. Insights: Liz: The healthy “We” starts with a healthy “Me.”Kyle: Underneath every criticism is a longing for attachment.Dave: It is not necessarily a poor partner but a poor pattern. Invites:    -    Join Kyle Benson’s email list to get free and easily acceptable tips to make marriage last.   -    Take 10 minutes to write down how you are going to change the unwanted patterns in your relationship. Kyles’s Links: https://www.kylebenson.net/ FB @Kyle Benson: https://www.facebook.com/kylebenson.net Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/   Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ 

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute teaches about what's underneath anger and how to manage it. Episode 2278: The Anger Iceberg by Kyle Benson of Gottman Institute on Understanding and Handling Anger The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-anger-iceberg/ Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalHealthDailyDietNutritionFitness Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute teaches about what's underneath anger and how to manage it. Episode 2278: The Anger Iceberg by Kyle Benson of Gottman Institute on Understanding and Handling Anger The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-anger-iceberg/ Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalHealthDailyDietNutritionFitness Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the podcast, Kyle and Dan discuss PeopleTools 8.60 and the great features that were released. Dan also shares his thoughts on using Cloud Manager to upgrade environments to 8.60. The PeopleSoft Administrator Podcast is hosted by Dan Iverson and Kyle Benson. Show Notes PeopleTools 8.60 is out @ 2:15 Video Feature Overview UI @ 5:45 Configurable Search @ 21:00 Search Framework @ 29:00 Notifications @ 32:15 Lifecycle Management @ 32:30 Security @ 42:00 Passphrases Certificate Management in PeopleSoft

Dan and Kyle are back and this week they discuss SSH tips, playing Minecraft, and Kyle's new PeopleSoft Secrets Tool (psst). The PeopleSoft Administrator Podcast is hosted by Dan Iverson and Kyle Benson. Show Notes Minecraft, scp, and spaces @ 2:30 SSH Tips @ 8:00 psst - PeopleSoft Secrets Tool @ 12:45 psvault Python Click

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute shares 3 types of betrayals other than infidelity that ruin relationships Episode 1427: 3 Betrayals That Ruin Relationships (That Aren't Infidelity) by Kyle Benson of Gottman The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/3-betrayals-ruin-relationships-arent-infidelity/  Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com  Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalRelationshipsDailyMarriageParenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute talks about how to navigate conflict successfully Episode 1408: Transforming Criticism into Wishes: A Recipe for Successful Conflict by Kyle Benson of Gottman The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/transforming-criticism-into-wishes-a-recipe-for-successful-conflict/  Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com  Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalRelationshipsDailyMarriageParenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sherry and Carla kick off the show talking about how pizza can be used in negotiation, and take a Love Fix Question from a listener who keeps attracting unavailable men, even though she doesn't feel she has father issues. They then welcome in Kyle Benson, a self proclaimed relationship nerd who provides practical research-based tools to build long-lasting and intimate relationships. Kyle explores how you can stop settling for less and how to get over the illusion that you can fix, control, or manipulate someone.     Connect with Us! The Love Fix | @thelovefixpodcast Become a Member — Codependency Special — Wake Up Recovery — $1 trial membership Get 1:1 Dating & Relationship Coaching  The Love Fix Relationship Quiz   Sherry Break Free from Toxic Relationships, Love Addiction and Codependency. $1 TRIAL Become a Member - Codependency Sale - Wake Up Recovery    Carla Website | Instagram | Facebook | Contagious Love | Online Dating Bootcamp   Sign up to be in TDR database: https://www.threedayrule.com/CarlaRomo   Kyle Benson Website | Emotional Connection Challenge    Today's episode is sponsored by Carla's book Contagious Love: Break Free from Codependency for Damn Good and Sherry's book Love Smacked: How To Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency To Find Everlasting Love.   Thanks to Contagious Love and Love Smacked for sponsoring this episode.   What You'll Hear In This Episode: What really blocks us from seeing our role in our relationships and the patterns of the partners we pick?  It takes vulnerability to look at the role we play in our relationships. It starts with the relationship you have with yourself.  What if the partner doesn't see the role they play? Check out Kyle's Intimacy Questions, along with how to work with Sherry and Carla on overcoming codependency, dating, break-ups, healing from toxic relationships, and gaining confidence. What are some things to look for when deciding if this partnership can be long term?  Kyle explains how couples can get stuck in a pattern of not being emotionally open and vulnerable with each other. It's about working through escalation to get to that softer place.  Some ways to tell if therapy is working, and how to bring it up with your therapist if you feel as though it's not.   

Have you ever wondered if the way you handle conflict with your spouse is always the same way you handle conflict with others? How do we change our behavior if we're not happy with the results? In this video, we will explore how to manage conflict in your relationship. We will discuss different ways that people handle conflict, and we will look at how to change our behavior if we're not happy with the results. Kyle's bio: Kyle Benson is a relationship nerd who provides practical, research-based tools to build long-lasting, intimate relationships. Kyle is best known for his compassion and non-judgmental style and his capacity to see the root problem. To learn more about Kyle Benson and to download your free guides to stop cycles of conflict and begin connecting in your relationship today, visit https://www.kylebenson.net. Hope you enjoy it! - Vincent & Valerie | Couples Pursuit ===== PARTNER WITH US You can partner up with Couples Pursuit for just $27 per month to help us provide FREE tools and resources to maintain a successful marriage. As a partner, you receive several bonuses and extras not available anywhere else! Access to all Couples Pursuit LIVE! pieces of training we have ever recorded (or plan to record in the future) ► FREE Q&A coaching calls twice a month. ► Privacy, only partners can see who's in the group and what's posted. ► We offer a new marriage masterclass each quarter. ►► Only $27 per month! Click here to learn more: https://grow.couplespursuit.com

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute gives you 5 steps to inspire your partner to join you in attending couples therapy. This is part 2 of 2. Episode 1283: [Part 2] 5 Steps to Inspire Your Partner to Join You in Attending Couples Therapy by Kyle Benson of Gottman The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-steps-to-inspire-your-partner-to-join-you-in-attending-couples-therapy/  Care/of is a subscription service that ships high-quality, personalized vitamins and powders conveniently to your door every month. For 50% off your first Care/of order, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter code ord50 Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com  Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalRelationshipsDailyMarriageParenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute gives you 5 steps to inspire your partner to join you in attending couples therapy. This is part 1 of 2. Episode 1282: [Part 1] 5 Steps to Inspire Your Partner to Join You in Attending Couples Therapy by Kyle Benson of Gottman The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-steps-to-inspire-your-partner-to-join-you-in-attending-couples-therapy/  Care/of is a subscription service that ships high-quality, personalized vitamins and powders conveniently to your door every month. For 50% off your first Care/of order, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter code ord50 Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com  Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalRelationshipsDailyMarriageParenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

in episode 03 of season 02, Nicole, Carly, and Jazzlyn discuss emotional intelligence, the workplace, the pandemic, and more.Rate, subscribe, follow the podcast on instagram @thesourandsaltyProduced + edited by Nicole Zollner @nicolezllnrOriginal music by Steve Vásquez Alcaraz @acarelesscalmhydrojug affiliate linkpoly&bark affiliate link + listen to the episode for the code"Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" by Daniel Goleman"Emotionally Intelligent Husbands are Key to a Lasting Marriage" by Kyle Benson "Emotional Intelligence Will Help You-- And Everyone Around You" by Christopher Dollard "Multiple Intelligences, the Mozart Effect, and Emotional Intelligence: A Critical Review" by Lynn Waterhouse "The Relation Between Emotional Intelligence and Criminal Behavior: A Study Among Convicted Criminals" by Neelu Sharma, Om Prakash, K.S Sengar, Suprakash Chaudhury and Amool R. Sighn "What Aspects of Emotional Intelligence Help Former Prisoners Make Decisions to Desist Crime?"  by Craig A. Waleed"How Can I Improve Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?" medically reviewed by Kendra Kubala, PsyD and written by Hilary I. Lebow “Emotional Intelligence” (Psychology Today)“Utilizing Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace” by Kendra Cherry“How Did the Pandemic Impact People's Emotional Intelligence?” (Six seconds)"The 'Great Resignation' Is A Workers' Revolution: Here's What Real Leaders Must Do Right Now" by Jack Kelly"Reversing the Great Resignation: What Employees Really Want" by Kelly Corbett

As your business grows, it's only natural your brand grows with it. We chat with Scott Smith, Kira Bundlie, Kyle Benson, and Kristen Raymaker about Intercom's branding and our recent brand refresh project.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Our guest this week is Kyle Benson.Kyle is a marriage and sex therapist who has worked with dozens of couples to help them understand the root causes of their wants, needs, insecurities and find the truth in their relationships.In today's conversation, Kyle and I talk about how to cultivate intentionally intimate relationships, how to adjust the “thermostat” on your relationship, balancing individuality with partnership, and how to root out defensiveness and stonewalling to allow for effective communication.Connect with me and to connect with this podcast via Instagram where we produce weekly video content and would love to get a chance to know you, our listeners! If you have a second to rate and review this podcast, that would also mean the world to me and help get these messages into more heads and more hearts!Connect with Kyle: @_kylebensonConnect with David: @dr.davidskolnik.dptConnect with the Show: @essential.strength.podcast Recommended ReadingFor New Couples & Those Currently Dating: Attached & Wired for DatingFor Committed Couples: 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love & Eight DatesFor Non-Monogamous Couples: PolysecureFor Better Sex: Magnificent SexAction PlanYour action plan this week is specifically for the listeners who are in a committed relationship. I want you to take a page out of Kyle's book and schedule 30 plus minutes of uninterrupted time with your partner where you talk about the things that are going well in your lives (both individually and as a couple), areas of stress and uncertainty, and areas where you could really use each other's support. This conversation could happen on the couch, at the kitchen table, on a walk, or over dinner during date night. The only rule - NO PHONES, NO DISTRACTIONS - if you think you're going to need to take notes, grab a piece of paper and a pen. This is about internal togetherness.That's it for this week. Until next time we wish you STRENGTH and GOOD HEALTH!

Building an intimate relationship often needs all parties involved to show some level of intimacy. To open up and let others in is being vulnerable but in order to do that there needs to be things like trust and acceptance which happen to be key factors in building intimacy. So in this episode we visit how vulnerability and intimacy go hand in hand and how they impacted our weekend trip away to Bend, Oregon. For more information on intimacy here are a few places to start:8 Books on Sex and Intimacy, recommended by sex educator Dawn Serra. This list includes inclusive, empowering titles such as “Ecstasy Is Necessary” by Barbara Carrellas.5 Relationship Books That Will Profoundly Change the Way You Love, a list compiled by relationship coach Kyle Benson. This list includes books that aren’t only focused on sex and romance, like the self-development book “SuperBetter” by Jane McGonigal.Consider individual and relationship therapy. By working with a therapist one-on-one, a family therapist, or a couples counselor, you can get some personalized insight on intimacy. Here’s information on finding a therapist and some affordable therapy options for every budget.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Please help us help others by hitting that "follow" or "subscribe" button and leaving us a 5 star rating and review on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps new listeners find us. If you want some more of Bella and Monsuta head over to our Patreon page for bonus episodes and to join our Polyam Fam Facebook group! And of course you can reach out to us all over social media!For additional episodes and content, come join our Patreon!Follow our Facebook page called Polyamory: Get Your Heart On.Find the link to our episode and share your comments about the show.Our Instagram is @TalkYourPolyOff.For the kinkier polyamorists, cum join our TYPO Kinkster Fetlife GroupAlso, check out our Twitter, @TalkYourPolyOff.You can also hit up our website and bookmark it so you can watch us as we grow. ;)Finally,As mentioned a moment ago, we welcome listener input, feel free to send us an email with your thoughts at talkyourpolyoff@gmail.comorText us or leave us a voicemail!TYPO Phone (209) 536-TYPO (8976)

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute teaches about what's underneath anger and how to manage it. Episode 927: The Anger Iceberg by Kyle Benson of Gottman Institute on Understanding and Handling Anger The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-anger-iceberg/ Calm is offering a special limited time promotion of 40% off a Calm Premium subscription at Calm.com/ORD Please Rate & Review the Show!  Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com and in The O.L.D. Facebook Group  Join the Ol' Family to get your Free Gifts and join our online community: OLDPodcast.com/group   Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalRelationshipsDailyMarriageParenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute teaches about what's underneath anger and how to manage it. Episode 927: The Anger Iceberg by Kyle Benson of Gottman Institute on Understanding and Handling Anger The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-anger-iceberg/ Calm is offering a special limited time promotion of 40% off a Calm Premium subscription at Calm.com/ORD Please Rate & Review the Show! Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com and in The O.L.D. Facebook Group Join the Ol' Family to get your Free Gifts and join our online community: OLDPodcast.com/group Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalRelationshipsDailyMarriageParenting

"I hate conflict... is there a way I can be in a relationship without ever having to deal with it?" "I feel like I'm always the reason other people are disappointed." "I'm never good enough, and my partner will never be happy with me." "I try so hard, but it seems like I can never get things right." "What's important to me doesn't matter to anyone else." "There are different ways we develop an attachment to the people we love." "A lot of this comes from the way we were raised." "I'm a failure..." These are the types of thoughts someone with Avoidant Attachment is often thinking. In this workshop, we're going to give Avoidant partners and those married to an Avoidant partner tools and strategies to develop a more Secure Attachment. This workshop was originally streamed live in the Epic Marriage Club. If you want to participate live in future workshops, and get access to an amazing community of humans who value their marriages just like you, .

"I'm too much." "I'm not lovable." "My partner doesn't care about me." "We never resolve things... everything always gets swept under the rug." "My partner always dismisses my feelings." "Why don't my needs matter?" These are the thoughts of someone who struggles with Anxious Attachment. People who struggle with Anxious Attachment are always looking for affirmation, validation, and reassurance from their partner. They want to know everything is ok, and that they are still worthy of love. Oftentimes the strategies they use to get that validation ends up pushing their partner away, and creating a self-fulfilling prophesy. Today we're going to talk with attachment expert, Kyle Benson about Anxious Attachment, and how to develop a more secure attachment in our relationships.

Do you feel like the closer you try to get to your partner, the more they pull away? Maybe you feel like no matter what you do, your partner won't open up to you, they dismiss your needs and feelings, and things just get swept under the rug? Or... Maybe you feel like you're always failing. No matter what you do, or how hard you try,  it's never enough. Your partner always ends up feeling disappointed, and you always end up blindsided by the "problems" they have with your relationship. In today's podcast, we're going to be talking with Kyle Benson about Attachment Styles, and how they impact our ability to connect with each other, and deal with conflict.

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute shares why repair is the secret weapon for successful couples. Episode 756: Repair is the Secret Weapon of Emotionally Connected Couples by Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/repair-secret-weapon-emotionally-connected-couples/ Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com & in The O.L.D. Facebook Group and Join the Ol' Family to get your Free Gifts BetterHelp online counseling is there for you. Best of all it's a truly affordable option - Optimal Relationship Daily listeners get 10% off your first month with discount code ORD. So why not get started today? Go to BetterHelp.com/ord

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute shares why repair is the secret weapon for successful couples. Episode 756: Repair is the Secret Weapon of Emotionally Connected Couples by Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/repair-secret-weapon-emotionally-connected-couples/ Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com & in The O.L.D. Facebook Group and Join the Ol' Family to get your Free Gifts BetterHelp online counseling is there for you. Best of all it's a truly affordable option - Optimal Relationship Daily listeners get 10% off your first month with discount code ORD. So why not get started today? Go to BetterHelp.com/ord Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kyle Benson is an Intentionally Intimate Relationship coach providing practical, research-based tools to build long-lasting relationships. You can find out more about him here. https://www.kylebenson.net/

Kyle Benson is an Intentional Intimate Relationship coach providing practical, research-based tools to build long-lasting relationships. Kyle is best known for his compassion and non-judgmental style and his capacity to see the root problem.   In this episode, Kyle Benson and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:    The importance of tuning in to the information our bodies give us to improve our health and our lives. How men who are emotionally engaged generally have more stable relationships because they are more sensitive to what was going on in their partner’s world. How emotionally intelligent partners often turn towards difficult emotions in their partners and in themselves, rather than avoiding them.  Helping men overcome a lifetime of being told to suppress so-called “unmasculine” emotions.  The importance of creating a safe space for anyone, but especially men, to express their feelings.     "It’s such a joy to see that transformation and that kind of new shift...they're making a choice to step into something that's unfamiliar. That's scary...but when they start to touch into that in their relationship, and you create that safer space, I mean, it's really beautiful when they can connect with their partners." —  Kyle Benson       Intimacy 5 Challenge   Emotionally Intelligent Relationship   Mankind Project   Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication – Free Guide    Connect with Guest:  Website: kylebenson.net Twitter: @_KyleBenson Facebook: facebook.com/kylebenson.net Email: Contact Kyle Benson   Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:  Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com  Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com   If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.   

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute shares why arguments about money aren't about money.   Episode 553: Arguments About Money Aren't About Money by Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute on Finances & Marriage   The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage   The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/arguments-money-arent-money/   Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com & in The O.L.D. Facebook Group and Join the Ol' Family to get your Free Gifts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute shares why arguments about money aren't about money. Episode 553: Arguments About Money Aren't About Money by Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute on Finances & Marriage The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/arguments-money-arent-money/ Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com & in The O.L.D. Facebook Group and Join the Ol' Family to get your Free Gifts

This Podcast is for singles and those who have a Partner. Listen up as Kyle Benson joins me from the Gottman Institute of Seattle. Kyle is a relationship coach. I don’t edit my Podcasts and this one is obvious that it is raw. I get so engrossed in all his practical knowledge that before you know it, he’s consulting me in my love life! I know after listening you’ll get some great relationship nuggets of your own! Enjoy!

I'm kicking-off 2019 by interviewing two Colorado entrepreneurs who are not YET on the cover of Colorado business publications, and whom I predict will by by the end of the year!  Dr. Arthur Kanowitz, Co-founder, Chairman and Chief Medical Officer of Securisyn Medical, and Kyle Kociemba Benson are at opposite ends of the speed-to-market continuum so their interviews make for a great contrast. ER Dr. Kanowitz founded his company to address his frustration with the frequency and extreme complications caused by “unplanned extubation” – when a patient’s breathing tube comes out when it’s not supposed to. Starting as a one-man crusade, this is a story you’ll appreciate. Kyle Benson, co-founded Bivouac Coffee with his wife, Rachel to create great tasting coffee that's environmentally friendly. Bivouac won the 2018 "Trout Tank" competition, and has recently been approached by some national retail brands about collaborating. Both guests are poised to cross the chasm from startup to “ON THEIR WAY!”

Kyle Benson is an Intentional Intimate Relationship coach providing practical, research-based tools to build long-lasting relationships. Kyle is best known for his compassion and non-judgmental style and his capacity to see the root problem. Guiding Principle, Quote, or Mantra Speaking to understand before trying to problem solve. When You “Tripped Up” in Partnership About 5 months ago, Kyle was working on a very important project for some clients he has. He was working some very long hours so he was pretty stressed out. During the same time, Kyle’s partner went to a concert with some friends but he wasn’t able to make it because of the project. After the concert, he went to pick her up in downtown Seattle, where there’s a lot of traffic. She took a while to come out to the car because she was talking with some people. With everything going on, this anger started to stew in Kyle. Find out what happened next by listening to the podcast episode. Proudest Moment in Partnership His friend comes to mind, who is having a very tough time with family right now. When Kyle first had his outbreak of psoriasis he had a lot of shame around it and didn’t reach out to many friends. He would frequently meet up with one of his friends at this lake in Seattle, and they would simply just walk and talk. What he loved is that she would make 15-20 minutes to go on these walks a couple of times a week. It meant a lot to Kyle, especially being vulnerable as a guy. Find out what happens next by listening to the episode. Current Partnership The first thing that comes to mind is Kyle’s current romantic relationship. He’s so proud of the relationship they’ve built together. They, like everyone else, have their fights from time to time but everything is great. They always seem to get through everything by working through it. They’re able to talk to each other about their personal lives and support each other. Best Relationship Advice You’ve ever Received Conflict is inevitable. Best Partnership Resource The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work - John Gottman We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection and Enduring Love - Stan Tatkin Interview Links - Here is Kyle’s Ebook Kyle’s Website

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute shares 3 steps to reconnect when you feel disconnected.

Your partner roll’s their eyes at you, and sighs in exasperation. You feel a dagger of embarrassment and shame run through your heart. You are having a great day when suddenly your partner bursts through the door after a stressful day. You can tell they’re in a bad mood. They are short-tempered with you, and your stomach balls up in knots from the stress they brought into the room. Your partner says something that makes you feel like they’re intentionally targeting what they know to be one of your biggest insecurities, or sensitive subjects. You withdraw, shut down, and a sense of betrayal and sadness washes over you like an unexpected cold ocean wave. Things like this happen all the time in marriage. Sometimes they happen because our partner is being an inconsiderate turd. Other times we just take things out of context. So, how do you know when the pain you’re feeling is due to poor behavior that you should address with your partner, as opposed to when it’s a hypersensitivity that you need to address on your own by learning to self-soothe and give your partner the benefit of the doubt? Kyle Benson and I talk about learning to regulate your emotions and deal with stressful situations in this episode.

“There are two problems within every problem. There's the actual problem, and there's how you deal with the problem. Unhappy couples and happy couples have these same problems; the difference between those relationships is how they deal with the problem.” Today I'm talking with Kyle Benson, an expert at applying research methods to repair relationships, heal wounds, and strengthen bonds […] The post Episode 186: The Role of Healthy Relationships for Entrepreneurs with Kyle Benson first appeared on Michael Knouse.

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute shares the one daily talk that will benefit your marriage.

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute shares 5 tips to stress-proof your marriage this holiday season.

The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage Episode 522: The Anger Iceberg by Kyle Benson of Gottman.com (Relationships & Compassion). The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-anger-iceberg Please Rate & Review the Show! Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com and Join the Ol' Family to get your Free Gifts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage Episode 522: The Anger Iceberg by Kyle Benson of Gottman.com (Relationships & Compassion). The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-anger-iceberg Please Rate & Review the Show! Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com and Join the Ol' Family to get your Free Gifts!

The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage Episode 522: The Anger Iceberg by Kyle Benson of Gottman.com (Relationships & Compassion). The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-anger-iceberg Please Rate & Review the Show! Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com and Join the Ol' Family to get your Free Gifts!

Kyle Benson shares exact steps you can take in just 6 hours a week to improve the relationship with your partner. Episode 017: 6 Hours a Week to a Better Relationship by Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute (Dating & Marriage Advice & Exercises). The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/6-hours-a-week-to-a-better-relationship Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com and Join the Ol' Family to get your Free Gifts

The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage Episode 522: The Anger Iceberg by Kyle Benson of Gottman.com (Relationships & Compassion). The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-anger-iceberg Please Rate & Review the Show! Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com and Join the Ol' Family to get your Free Gifts! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/optimal-living-daily/support

Kyle Benson shares why emotionally intelligent husbands are key to a lasting marriage. Episode 009: Emotionally Intelligent Husbands are Key to a Lasting Marriage by Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute (Long-Term Love). The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/emotionally-intelligent-husbands-key-lasting-marriage Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com and Join the Ol' Family to get your Free Gifts

In today's episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include: How attachment styles affect relationships. How to identify your attachment style. How to deal with the anxious-avoidant downward spiral. Tools to become more secure in your relationship. How to own your neediness. And much more! On today's episode we welcome Kyle Benson. Kyle writes at the KyleBenson.net, where he uses science and life experiences to help those in troubled relationships get the love, respect and passion they dream of. I Do Podcast is also supported by: If you haven't already subscribed to I Do Podcast and left us a review on iTunes, that helps us a ton as well Thanks! - Chase and Sarah