Podcast appearances and mentions of kyle benson

Welcome back to Love Fully, a podcast dedicated to helping you deepen emotional connection, strengthen secure bonds, and understand your inner world with tenderness and clarity. In today's episode, we explore coping with disappointment through the lens of Emotionally Focused Therapy and the very real, very human experience of disappointment in relationships.Whether the disappointment comes from a partner, a friend, or family member, this episode unpacks why unmet needs strike so deeply at the heart of our attachment system. We talk honestly about the moments when we've reached vulnerably, communicated clearly, and still felt unseen or unsupported — and what to do next.Challenges We ExploreThe emotional impact of unmet expectationsWhy we minimize our own pain (and how this keeps us stuck)The grief that comes with realizing someone cannot show up for usHow disappointment, when acknowledged, becomes a doorway to deeper self-loveHow repeated unresponsiveness shapes attachment woundsKey Takeaways for HealingHonor your hurt — disappointment is a valid emotional signalLet your pain be witnessed — connection softens emotional weightWatch patterns, not promises — behavior reveals someone's capacityExpand your support system — seek secure, responsive othersRedirect with compassion — for yourself and for those who cannot meet your needsThrough a compassionate, humanistic dialogue, Kim and Kyle invite you to slow down, feel the truth of your experience, and explore how to stay open to love — even when others fall short. This episode is a reminder that healing disappointment isn't about dismissing your needs… it's about honoring the parts of you that long to be held, seen, and supported.Follow Love Fully on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️Additional Resources for You:Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

This episode marks an important evolution.What began as The Roadmap to Secure Love Podcast is now Love Fully—not because secure attachment no longer matters, but because we've seen something deeper emerge in our work with clients, listeners, and ourselves.Secure attachment gives us language and clarity. Loving fully is about living that understanding in real life.In this episode of Love Fully, Kim and Kyle explore what it truly means to love from a grounded, secure place—both with ourselves and with the people we care about most. Through an Emotionally Focused Therapy lens, they unpack why loving fully requires more than insight; it calls for courage, self-honesty, and a willingness to challenge the attachment patterns that once protected us.Many of us grew up without a roadmap for healthy emotional connection. Maybe you learned to stay small to keep the peace, to over-function to earn closeness, or to shut down when vulnerability felt unsafe. These strategies once helped you survive—but they may now limit the kind of love you long for. This episode explores how to gently rewrite those relational “scripts” and build the inner security needed for healthier, more fulfilling bonds.In today's conversation, Kim and Kyle highlight:Balancing closeness and autonomySetting boundaries without losing connectionHonoring your needs without shameLoving someone as they are—not who you hope they'll bePracticing compassion for the younger parts of yourselfWhether you're healing personal wounds, navigating relationship challenges, or seeking deeper emotional clarity, this episode supports your journey toward healthy relationship boundaries and secure connection.Follow Love Fully on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️Additional Resources for You:Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3310: Kyle Benson explores how anger often acts as a protective surface emotion, masking deeper feelings like shame, fear, or exhaustion. Drawing on insights from leading psychologists, he explains how understanding the “anger iceberg” can help us respond with curiosity instead of defensiveness. By learning to sit with anger rather than suppress it, we can build healthier boundaries, stronger empathy, and more connected relationships. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-anger-iceberg/ Quotes to ponder: “Emotions are, in essence, impulses to act, the instant plans for handling life that evolution has instilled in us.” “Our raw feelings can be the messengers we need to teach us things about ourselves and can prompt insights into important life directions.” “The bottom line is that beneath everyone's anger lies a reason.” Episode references: Emotional Agility by Susan David: https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Agility-Unhook-Embrace-Change/dp/1592409490 Atlas of Emotions: https://atlasofemotions.org/ Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman: https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-10th-Anniversary/dp/055338371X Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3310: Kyle Benson explores how anger often acts as a protective surface emotion, masking deeper feelings like shame, fear, or exhaustion. Drawing on insights from leading psychologists, he explains how understanding the “anger iceberg” can help us respond with curiosity instead of defensiveness. By learning to sit with anger rather than suppress it, we can build healthier boundaries, stronger empathy, and more connected relationships. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-anger-iceberg/ Quotes to ponder: “Emotions are, in essence, impulses to act, the instant plans for handling life that evolution has instilled in us.” “Our raw feelings can be the messengers we need to teach us things about ourselves and can prompt insights into important life directions.” “The bottom line is that beneath everyone's anger lies a reason.” Episode references: Emotional Agility by Susan David: https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Agility-Unhook-Embrace-Change/dp/1592409490 Atlas of Emotions: https://atlasofemotions.org/ Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman: https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-10th-Anniversary/dp/055338371X Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every couple faces relationship struggles—from missed appointments to moments of miscommunication. But the way we interpret those struggles often determines whether they turn into distance or deeper connection. In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle explore how attachment styles shape our reactions when things go wrong and why secure couples repair quickly while insecure patterns can spiral into conflict.At Healing Moments Counseling, we know that life can be messy and that does not mean your relationship is broken—these messy moments are opportunities to build trust, intimacy, and resilience. With empathy, self-soothing, and honest communication, even the most frustrating moments can become stepping stones toward secure love.Key Takeaways:Learn to trust your partner's intentionsSelf-soothe when frustration arisesTurn relationship mistakes into repairCommunicate impact without blameBuild teamwork through conflictSecure couples don't avoid conflict—they transform it into an opportunity for growth and connection. This episode will show you how to move from blame to bonding, and how to use everyday challenges as a pathway to intimacy.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️ Additional Resources for You: Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

What do you share about your partner when they're not around—and do they know you're sharing it?In this heartfelt episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore a common but often overlooked issue in relationships: unspoken boundaries around privacy and public disclosure. As emotionally focused couples therapists, they offer insight into how even lighthearted jokes or venting to friends can quietly damage trust and create emotional disconnection.The challenge? Many couples never talk about what's okay to share and what's sacred to keep between them.Key takeaways include:Protecting your relationship through intentional boundariesCreating emotional safety with clear agreementsRepairing ruptures when trust is unintentionally brokenStrengthening your bond by working as a united frontWhether you've been hurt by oversharing or want to avoid future ruptures, this episode will guide you back to connection and clarity.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️ Additional Resources for You: Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

What happens when the people who raised you become a source of tension in your marriage? In this heartfelt episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, certified emotionally focused therapists Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore the emotional complexity of in law conflict resolution.Many couples silently struggle with guilt, frustration, or emotional regression when navigating relationships with parents and in-laws. You might feel caught between the loyalty you feel toward your family of origin and the love you're building with your partner. If you've ever wondered, “Whose side am I supposed to be on?” — this episode is for you.Inside this episode, you'll learn:Why emotional regression happens around our parents—and how to notice itWhat it means to shift your primary alliance from your family to your partnerHow oversharing with parents can unintentionally betray your spouseWhy you should be the “face” of your marriage when setting family boundariesWays to navigate loyalty, conflict, and connection with compassion and clarityWe believe love grows stronger when we face these challenges together—with empathy, intention, and courage.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️ Additional Resources for You: Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2715: Kyle Benson highlights three subtle yet destructive betrayals, emotional cheating, conditional love, and emotional withdrawal, that often go unrecognized in committed relationships. By exploring how everyday disloyalties erode trust and intimacy, he offers couples practical steps to rebuild connection and commitment before deeper damage takes hold. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/3-betrayals-ruin-relationships-arent-infidelity/ Quotes to ponder: "Anything that violates a committed relationship's contract of mutual trust, respect, and protection can be disastrous." "Couples that unconditionally love each other live by the motto, 'baby, when you hurt, the world stops and I listen.'" "Emotional withdrawal sets in when bids are ignored." Episode references: What Makes Love Last?: https://www.amazon.com/What-Makes-Love-Last-Betrayal/dp/1451608489 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2715: Kyle Benson highlights three subtle yet destructive betrayals, emotional cheating, conditional love, and emotional withdrawal, that often go unrecognized in committed relationships. By exploring how everyday disloyalties erode trust and intimacy, he offers couples practical steps to rebuild connection and commitment before deeper damage takes hold. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/3-betrayals-ruin-relationships-arent-infidelity/ Quotes to ponder: "Anything that violates a committed relationship's contract of mutual trust, respect, and protection can be disastrous." "Couples that unconditionally love each other live by the motto, 'baby, when you hurt, the world stops and I listen.'" "Emotional withdrawal sets in when bids are ignored." Episode references: What Makes Love Last?: https://www.amazon.com/What-Makes-Love-Last-Betrayal/dp/1451608489 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, we dive deep into the real-life challenges couples face around shared decision making—from everyday choices to major life transitions and even moments of intimacy. Hosts Kim and Kyle explore how traditional power dynamics, cultural and faith backgrounds, and unspoken expectations can leave one or both partners feeling unheard, disconnected, or resentful.You'll hear why simply “checking the box” or putting one partner's needs first isn't enough for a healthy, fulfilling relationship. Instead, true connection happens when both voices are valued, vulnerability is welcomed, and decisions are made together—whether about family, finances, or the bedroom.Key Takeaways:Why shared decision making is the foundation of secure loveHow gender roles and cultural messages can undermine intimacyThe risks of caretaking and “going through the motions”The power of voicing your needs and desiresStrategies to move from power struggles to partnershipHow to slow down and talk about what really matters in decision momentsFollow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️ Additional Resources for You: Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

In this insightful episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson unpack the often-overlooked conversations couples need to have in order to build trust, safety, and lasting connection.Many couples assume they are on the same page when it comes to sexual intimacy — but unspoken differences around sexual imagery, emotional affairs, social media boundaries, and private sharing can quietly erode trust. Without clear communication and intentional agreements, even small misunderstandings can turn into painful betrayals.In this episode, you'll discover:Why open conversations about sexual intimacy are crucial for secure relationshipsHow unspoken assumptions lead to trust violationsThe role of curiosity and vulnerability in navigating difficult topicsHow to co-create boundaries that honor both partnersPractical tools to protect emotional and sexual connectionWhether you're dating, engaged, or married, these conversations are essential to creating a secure and deeply intimate relationship.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️ Additional Resources for You: Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2633: Kyle Benson unpacks how shifting from criticism to expressing vulnerable wishes can dramatically improve conflict resolution in relationships. By identifying the underlying needs beneath frustration, couples foster deeper emotional connection and transform arguments into moments of intimacy and understanding. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/transforming-criticism-into-wishes-a-recipe-for-successful-conflict/ Quotes to ponder: "You are such a baby. You interrupt me and then walk out of the room, which makes me feel like the bad guy. No wonder I don't want to have a baby!" "I want to be able to speak with you about how I feel about having a baby right now without you leaving the room or getting upset with me before I'm done talking." "I want us to discuss issues calmly without either of us raising our voices. That's what I need to stay in the room and truly listen to you." Episode references: Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) by Stan Tatkin: https://thepactinstitute.com/what-is-pact/ Daring Greatly by Brené Brown: https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2633: Kyle Benson unpacks how shifting from criticism to expressing vulnerable wishes can dramatically improve conflict resolution in relationships. By identifying the underlying needs beneath frustration, couples foster deeper emotional connection and transform arguments into moments of intimacy and understanding. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/transforming-criticism-into-wishes-a-recipe-for-successful-conflict/ Quotes to ponder: "You are such a baby. You interrupt me and then walk out of the room, which makes me feel like the bad guy. No wonder I don't want to have a baby!" "I want to be able to speak with you about how I feel about having a baby right now without you leaving the room or getting upset with me before I'm done talking." "I want us to discuss issues calmly without either of us raising our voices. That's what I need to stay in the room and truly listen to you." Episode references: Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) by Stan Tatkin: https://thepactinstitute.com/what-is-pact/ Daring Greatly by Brené Brown: https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when one partner wants to end the relationship—and the other doesn't? In this powerful episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore the emotional heartbreak of surviving unwanted separation and how to begin healing when you're not ready to let go.

Divorce is often treated with silence, judgment, and shame—even when it follows years of effort, therapy, and personal growth. In this powerful episode of The Roadmap to Secure Love, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson unpack the emotional realities of healing from divorce, especially when support from friends, family, or faith communities is missing.They explore:Why grief after separation is valid and necessaryHow to set boundaries with unsupportive peopleThe difference between shame and self-compassionWhat it means to trust your inner voice when a relationship endsWhether you initiated the separation or are navigating unwanted loss, this conversation will help you process the pain, reclaim your worth, and take meaningful steps toward healing.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️ Additional Resources for You: Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

In this episode of The Roadmap to Secure Love, Dr. Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore a topic that resonates deeply with many—people pleasing and the impact on sex. Rooted in anxious attachment, people pleasing can show up in the most intimate parts of our relationships, often leading to obligatory sex, disconnection, and resentment.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2595: Kyle Benson offers a compassionate, step-by-step framework to help you encourage your partner to consider couples therapy, not by pointing fingers, but by emphasizing teamwork, understanding, and mutual growth. With insights grounded in emotional safety and respect, Benson shows how to communicate your hopes for the relationship in a way that fosters trust, not resistance. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-steps-to-inspire-your-partner-to-join-you-in-attending-couples-therapy/ Quotes to ponder: “Sweetheart, I want us to attend couples therapy that's designed to help us communicate better. I'm excited about it because I think it will help me understand more about you and how I can be a better partner.” “Requests become demands when our partner believes they will be blamed or punished if they don't comply.” “Focus on being the change you wish to see in the relationship. Doing so may inspire them to want to make more progress with you.” Episode references: Nonviolent Communication: https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2595: Kyle Benson offers a compassionate, step-by-step framework to help you encourage your partner to consider couples therapy, not by pointing fingers, but by emphasizing teamwork, understanding, and mutual growth. With insights grounded in emotional safety and respect, Benson shows how to communicate your hopes for the relationship in a way that fosters trust, not resistance. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-steps-to-inspire-your-partner-to-join-you-in-attending-couples-therapy/ Quotes to ponder: “Sweetheart, I want us to attend couples therapy that's designed to help us communicate better. I'm excited about it because I think it will help me understand more about you and how I can be a better partner.” “Requests become demands when our partner believes they will be blamed or punished if they don't comply.” “Focus on being the change you wish to see in the relationship. Doing so may inspire them to want to make more progress with you.” Episode references: Nonviolent Communication: https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2594: Kyle Benson offers a compassionate roadmap for encouraging a hesitant partner to try couples therapy, emphasizing empathy, timing, and emotional safety. His five-step approach helps shift the conversation from blame to mutual understanding, creating a foundation for connection and healing through professional support. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-steps-to-inspire-your-partner-to-join-you-in-attending-couples-therapy/ Quotes to ponder: "Don't try to inspire your partner when you are emotionally charged." "When we ask our partner to go to therapy, we're asking them to face pain and uncertainty." "Use empathy to validate your partner's fears or concerns." Episode references: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): https://iceeft.com/what-is-eft/ The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2594: Kyle Benson offers a compassionate roadmap for encouraging a hesitant partner to try couples therapy, emphasizing empathy, timing, and emotional safety. His five-step approach helps shift the conversation from blame to mutual understanding, creating a foundation for connection and healing through professional support. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-steps-to-inspire-your-partner-to-join-you-in-attending-couples-therapy/ Quotes to ponder: "Don't try to inspire your partner when you are emotionally charged." "When we ask our partner to go to therapy, we're asking them to face pain and uncertainty." "Use empathy to validate your partner's fears or concerns." Episode references: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): https://iceeft.com/what-is-eft/ The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson dive deep into the emotional layers of relationship healing. If you've ever found yourself guarded, even in a secure and loving relationship, you're not alone.Many of us carry the ghosts of past heartbreak—betrayals, abandonment, and emotional wounds that still shape how we see and respond to love today. We may enter a new, healthy relationship, yet remain stuck in old fear cycles, unintentionally pushing away the very connection we long for.In this episode, you'll discover:Why past pain shows up in healthy relationshipsHow to identify and work through your emotional raw spotsThe power of reassurance and vulnerability with a safe partnerWhy your brain is wired to protect (not connect)A simple 3-step script to ask for support without pushing your partner awayWhether you're recovering from betrayal or just learning to let your guard down, this conversation is filled with actionable insights to help you build deeper trust, connection, and security.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️ Additional Resources for You: Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

Talking about sex can be one of the most vulnerable conversations in a relationship—especially when desire doesn't align. In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, certified sex therapists Dr. Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson guide you through the often misunderstood moment when a partner says no to sex—and how to embrace the ‘soft no' to enhance connection.You'll learn:How to talk about intimacy in a way that is connectingWhat is a ‘soft no', and how it can help preserve emotional and physical intimacyHow focusing on what feels good create a safe space for erotic explorationIf you are wondering how to make sex and intimacy expansive, this episode is for you.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️ Additional Resources for You: Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

Bringing up boredom in your sex life can feel like walking through a minefield. In this episode of The Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle explore how to talk securely about boring sex with your partner—without triggering shame, defensiveness, or disconnection.Many couples experience seasons where intimacy feels mundane or uninspired. But trying to address spicing up sex can lead to misunderstandings or hurt feelings. This episode offers a compassionate, attachment-based approach to navigating the “we are having boring sex” conversation with care and connection.

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, Kim and Kyle dive deep into one of the most essential—yet overlooked—tools for emotional well-being: your gut. If you've ever struggled with how to trust yourself, this conversation offers powerful insight into why so many of us ignore our inner signals—and how we can begin to honor them instead.

Do you ever find yourself emotionally overwhelmed in the middle of a conversation, reacting in ways you later regret? This episode of Roadmap to Secure Love dives deep into emotional flooding—what it is, why it happens, and how to navigate it effectively in relationships.What You'll Learn in This Episode: 

Parenting is one of the most challenging yet rewarding journeys—but what happens when your own childhood experiences shape how you show up for your kids? In this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle dive into the realities of breaking generational parenting patterns and how self-awareness, emotional regulation, and self-care play a crucial role in raising secure, resilient children.Challenges Discussed:

Have you ever had an intense emotional reaction in your relationship and wondered, Where did that come from? In this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, we dive deep into relationship triggers and how past experiences—like childhood fears—shape the way we connect with our partners.Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore the primal fears that drive our reactions, how our nervous system responds to emotional threats, and why self-compassion and curiosity are key to breaking unhealthy patterns. By understanding the root of your fears, you can begin to regulate your emotions, communicate more effectively, and build a more secure and loving relationship.Key Takeaways:

Parenting can feel like pure chaos—diapers, bottles, sleepless nights, and the endless juggle between work and family life. In this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, we tackle the heart of managing parenting chaos and explore how to stay connected as a couple amidst the stress.Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson share practical strategies, including:Seeing the stress as the problem, not your partnerUsing the "Name it, Tame it, Change it" method to navigate challengesCelebrating small wins to strengthen your partnershipExpanding your support network for more balancePrioritizing connection over perfection in your homeWhether you're struggling with sleepless nights or feeling disconnected from your partner, this episode is packed with valuable insights to help you survive—and thrive—through the chaos of parenting.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Sign up for The Secure Attachment Path course to learn practical tools for building secure connections. (Link is in the show notes).Until next time, stay connected and keep listening with love.Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

Through the lens of reflection, this episode of Roadmap to Secure Love dives deep into the challenges and growth of the past year. Kim and Kyle explore how embracing personal change, setting boundaries, and processing grief can lead to healthier, more secure relationships.Kim shares her journey of finding her voice and letting go of toxic dynamics, while Kyle discusses the power of resilience, community support, and self-compassion. This episode is a heartfelt look at how reflecting on struggles can inspire meaningful growth and connection.Key Takeaways:Using your voice with courageEmbracing grief to growBuilding resilience through supportLetting go of toxic tiesCreating space for meaningful connectionsFollow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Sign up for The Secure Attachment Path course to learn practical tools for building secure connections. (Link in the show notes).Until next time, stay connected and keep listening with love.Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, we dive into the fascinating world of new relationship energy and how our attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—impact the way we experience it. New relationship energy brings excitement and possibilities, but it can also uncover deeper insecurities and attachment patterns that may challenge us along the way.We explore:How secure attachment shows up in dating: Staying grounded, present, and true to oneself without rushing into the future.Anxious attachment's impact on new love: The tendency to become preoccupied, idealize the relationship, and struggle with insecurity.Avoidant attachment's approach: Keeping emotions at arm's length and often ghosting or avoiding vulnerability.The push-pull dynamic of disorganized attachment: Craving connection yet fearing closeness.This episode provides powerful insights and practical tips for recognizing our attachment patterns and nurturing healthier, more secure connections. Whether you're single or in a relationship, understanding how attachment shapes new relationship energy is essential to cultivating lasting love.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Sign up for The Secure Attachment Path course to learn practical tools for building secure connections. (Link in the show notes).Until next time, stay connected and keep listening with love.Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

In today's episode of Roadmap to Secure Love, we dive deep into the power and challenges of vulnerability in relationships. For many, opening up emotionally can feel risky, especially with cultural messages suggesting that vulnerability, particularly for men, may weaken respect and attraction. But what if the opposite is true? Kim and Kyle explore how vulnerability fosters emotional safety, builds trust, and enhances intimacy in committed partnerships.Through an attachment lens, we discuss:The role of emotional safety in deepening connectionHow vulnerability strengthens respect and trustBalancing emotional support to avoid the parent-child dynamicWhy avoiding emotions can create distance in relationshipsHow open communication builds security and true intimacyWhether you're working to deepen your current relationship or seeking insight into healthier connections, this episode provides actionable guidance to navigate the often complex terrain of vulnerability in relationships.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Sign up for The Secure Attachment Path course to learn practical tools for building secure connections. (Link in the show notes).Until next time, stay connected and keep listening with love.Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2386: Kyle Benson explores how successful couples manage emotional disconnection by focusing on the power of repair. Even in the healthiest relationships, conflicts are inevitable, but what sets emotionally connected couples apart is their ability to recover from these ruptures. Benson emphasizes the importance of maintaining friendship, emotional understanding, and effective repair attempts to sustain a strong, loving bond. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/repair-secret-weapon-emotionally-connected-couples/ Quotes to ponder: "How couples repair is what separates the relationship Masters from the Disasters." "The real difference between the couples who repaired successfully and those who didn't was the emotional climate between partners." "Your repair attempt is only going to work well if you have really been a good friend to them, especially lately." Episode references: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0553447718 The Science of Trust: https://www.amazon.com/Science-Trust-Emotional-Attunement-Couples-ebook/dp/B005459RHI Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2386: Kyle Benson explores how successful couples manage emotional disconnection by focusing on the power of repair. Even in the healthiest relationships, conflicts are inevitable, but what sets emotionally connected couples apart is their ability to recover from these ruptures. Benson emphasizes the importance of maintaining friendship, emotional understanding, and effective repair attempts to sustain a strong, loving bond. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/repair-secret-weapon-emotionally-connected-couples/ Quotes to ponder: "How couples repair is what separates the relationship Masters from the Disasters." "The real difference between the couples who repaired successfully and those who didn't was the emotional climate between partners." "Your repair attempt is only going to work well if you have really been a good friend to them, especially lately." Episode references: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0553447718 The Science of Trust: https://www.amazon.com/Science-Trust-Emotional-Attunement-Couples-ebook/dp/B005459RHI Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, we dive deep into the powerful emotions of jealousy and envy and how they can impact our relationships. Jealousy often stems from the fear of losing something we already have, while envy arises when we desire something others possess. For many, overcoming envy can feel overwhelming, but it can also be an opportunity for growth. Kim and Kyle explore the challenges of these emotions and offer insights on how to manage them in a healthy, secure way.Key Takeaways:How jealousy and envy signal deeper attachment needs.The influence of attachment styles on how we experience jealousy.Why vulnerability is the key to transforming jealousy into connection.How envy can guide us toward what we truly desire in life.Practical steps for building security and emotional resilience in relationships.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Sign up for The Secure Attachment Path course to learn practical tools for building secure connections. Until next time, stay connected and keep listening with love.Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle dive deep into the power of community and connection during times of crisis. From natural disasters to personal loss, emotional healing after trauma often begins with how we show up for each other. They explore the challenges of asking for help, the importance of truly listening, and the small but meaningful ways we can offer support—both practically and emotionally.Key takeaways include:The healing power of empathy and connection.Why it's hard to ask for help, and how to overcome that.How to support loved ones through grief, loss, and crisis.The importance of community in building emotional resilience.Practical ways to offer support that truly meets the needs of others.By the end of this episode, you'll gain valuable insights on how to strengthen your relationships and become a safe base for those you care about during difficult times.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Sign up for The Secure Attachment Path course to learn practical tools for building secure connections. (Link in the show notes).Until next time, stay connected and keep listening with love.Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

Welcome to another episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast! In this episode, we dive deep into the Tit-for-Tat Cycle—a common relationship pattern that often leaves couples feeling unseen, overwhelmed, and disconnected. Kim and Kyle unpack the challenges many partners face when it feels like they're competing over who does more, rather than supporting each other through the stress of daily life.Key Takeaways:The Tit-for-Tat Cycle is rooted in feelings of overwhelm and stress, not the tasks themselves.Leading with vulnerability instead of blame can shift the dynamic and restore emotional connection.Small changes, like asking for help with kindness and gratitude, can break the cycle and bring couples closer.Life won't stop being busy, but prioritizing connection over perfection helps build a stronger partnership.Join us as we explore how to stop keeping score in your relationship, fight the real enemy—overwhelm, and create a supportive, secure bond. If you've ever felt stuck in this cycle, this episode is for you!

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, we dive into the often misunderstood topic of secure solo sex. Many people receive stigmatizing messages that make them feel guilty or ashamed about masturbation, viewing it as harmful to their relationships or even themselves. But as research shows, solo sex offers numerous physical, emotional, and relational benefits—if approached in a healthy, mindful way.Challenges Addressed:Breaking down the harmful stigmas surrounding solo sex.Overcoming societal guilt and misconceptions about masturbation.Navigating the balance between solo and partnered intimacy.Key Takeaways:Secure solo sex is a powerful form of self-care that improves stress relief, blood flow, and overall health.Self-exploration enhances body awareness, helping you communicate your needs and desires to your partner.Engaging in solo sex mindfully can strengthen your relationship by fostering deeper intimacy and connection.Tune in to learn how embracing secure solo sex can lead to better self-care, improved mental health, and stronger relationships. Don't forget to subscribe for more insights on building secure connections with yourself and others!#SecureSoloSex #SelfCare #HealthyRelationships #HealingMoments #RoadmapToSecureLoveTake the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, we dive deep into one of the most common challenges couples face: desire discrepancy. If you or your partner struggle with low libido, this episode is for you. Kim and Kyle explore the impact of daily stress, mental load, and constant productivity on sexual desire. They also provide practical low libido solutions to help couples reconnect with their bodies, prioritize pleasure, and reignite intimacy.Key Takeaways:How stress and mental load affect libidoWhy pleasure and non-productive time matter for intimacyThe importance of reclaiming your erotic identityPractical tips to create space for connection, even in busy livesReady to break the cycle of low libido and bring more pleasure into your relationship? Tune in now!For more information and resources, visit HealingMomentsCounseling.net.#LowLibidoSolutions #RelationshipAdvice #RoadmapToSecureLove #HealingMomentsCounselingTake the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

In this episode of the "Roadmap to Secure Love" podcast, we dive deep into the often overlooked topic of high libido challenges in relationships. If you've ever felt the frustration and emotional turmoil that comes with having a higher libido than your partner, this episode is for you.Dr. Kimberly Castelo and Kyle Benson explore the complexities of desire discrepancy, offering insights into the unique struggles faced by the higher libido partner. We discuss the feelings of rejection, shame, and anger that can arise when your sexual needs aren't met and how these emotions can impact your relationship.Key takeaways include strategies for validating your own desires, shifting the focus to positive interactions, and creating a safe, inviting environment for intimacy. Whether you're the higher libido partner or simply looking to understand this dynamic better, this episode offers valuable advice on navigating these challenges and fostering a deeper connection with your partner.

In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love podcast, we tackle one of the most common yet challenging aspects of relationships: creating change in relationships when it feels like you're stuck in a frustrating cycle. We dive into why change can be so difficult to achieve and explore practical strategies to help you move forward.Key takeaways include:The importance of setting boundariesFocusing on self-growthCommunicating effectively to foster a healthier and more connected relationship. If you've been struggling to create the change you desire in your relationship, this episode is for you.For more insights and support, visit HealingMomentsCounseling.net.#CreatingChangeInRelationships #RoadmapToSecureLove #RelationshipAdvice #Boundaries #SelfGrowthTake the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

Navigating relationships can be one of the most challenging aspects of our lives, especially when it comes to knowing when to hold on and when to let go. In this episode of the "Roadmap to Secure Love" podcast, Kim and Kyle dive deep into the complexities of secure attachment and how it empowers us to make critical decisions about our relationships. From setting boundaries to trusting your gut instincts, they explore the hard truths about walking away from relationships that no longer serve your emotional safety.Key Takeaways:The role of secure attachment in making relationship decisionsHow to set boundaries that protect your well-beingRecognizing when it's time to walk away from toxic relationshipsUnderstanding the challenges faced by those with anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment stylesWhether you're struggling with a romantic relationship, a friendship, or family dynamics, this episode provides valuable insights on how to navigate relationships with confidence and self-respect.For more episodes and resources on secure attachment, visit HealingMomentsCounseling.net.Listen now, and don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more relationship insights!Enroll in the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships. Website Resources: Relationship Therapy Sex Therapy Relationship Articles Secure Sex Articles

This week on the podcast, Ernst La Haye joins us to talk about PeopleSoft in Europe, building open-source PeopleSoft projects, what his favorite new feature in PeopleSoft is. The PeopleSoft Administrator Podcast is hosted by Dan Iverson and Kyle Benson. Show Notes Ernst Introduction @ 1:00 Future of PeopleSoft and popularity in Europe @ 2:00 Github Projects @ 10:00 Cy2 Slack channel @ 26:45 Application Service Framework @ 30:00

This week on the podcast, Ernst La Haye joins us to talk about PeopleSoft in Europe, building open-source PeopleSoft projects, what his favorite new feature in PeopleSoft is. The PeopleSoft Administrator Podcast is hosted by Dan Iverson and Kyle Benson. Show Notes Ernst Introduction @ 1:00 Future of PeopleSoft and popularity in Europe @ 2:00 Github Projects @ 10:00 Cy2 Slack channel @ 26:45 Application Service Framework @ 30:00

This week on the podcast, Kyle talks about the oci-cli tool and how has customized its behavior using the .ociclirc file. Dan shares two of his DPK modules that work with OCI to support tags and building failover strings for the web server. The PeopleSoft Administrator Podcast is hosted by Dan Iverson and Kyle Benson. https://traffic.libsyn.com/psadminio/342_-_.ociclirc_mixdown.mp3 Show Notes Cloud Shell and .ociclirc @ 2:00 yq @ 16:30 oci_facts @ 20:30 oci_discovery @ 27:00

This week on the podcast, Kyle talks about the oci-cli tool and how has customized its behavior using the .ociclirc file. Dan shares two of his DPK modules that work with OCI to support tags and building failover strings for the web server. The PeopleSoft Administrator Podcast is hosted by Dan Iverson and Kyle Benson. https://traffic.libsyn.com/psadminio/342_-_.ociclirc_mixdown.mp3 Show Notes Cloud Shell and .ociclirc @ 2:00 yq @ 16:30 oci_facts @ 20:30 oci_discovery @ 27:00

This week on the podcast, Kyle and Dan about the future pathways to take to make sure you are taking advantage of the PeopleTools platform. The PeopleSoft Administrator Po dcast is hosted by Dan Iverson and Kyle Benson. Show Notes PeopleTools Pathway General PeopleTools Changes @ 5:45 Development Tools @ 12:30 Search Capabilities @ 24:00 Infrastructure Platforms @ 32:30 Lifecycle Management @ 46:15 References Links: Oracle Extends Support for PeopleSoft to 2034 PeopleSoft Info Portal – PeopleTools Delivered features (CFO tool) New feature overview (Doc ID 2991346.1) Product roadmap (Doc ID 1966243.2) Maintenance Schedule (Doc ID 876292.1) PeopleSoft – Ideas Lab Graham Smith's Data for PeopleTools Releases Critical Patch Updates, Security Alerts and Bulletins PeopleSoft PeopleTools Maintenance Patches and Deployment Packages Released for 2024 - All (Doc ID 2997838.1) E-CERT: Finding a Certified Combination of PeopleTools, PeopleSoft Enterprise Applications, and Rdbms: an Example with Screenshots (Doc ID 1463015.1) PeopleSoft on Oracle Cloud Infrastructure E-UPG: New PeopleTools 8.60 Upgrade Projects - PPLTLS859 and PPLTLS860 (Doc ID 2910205.1)

This week on the podcast, Kyle and Dan about the future pathways to take to make sure you are taking advantage of the PeopleTools platform. The PeopleSoft Administrator Po dcast is hosted by Dan Iverson and Kyle Benson. Show Notes PeopleTools Pathway  General PeopleTools Changes @ 5:45 Development Tools @ 12:30 Search Capabilities  @ 24:00 Infrastructure Platforms @ 32:30 Lifecycle Management @ 46:15 References Links: Oracle Extends Support for PeopleSoft to 2034 PeopleSoft Info Portal – PeopleTools Delivered features (CFO tool) New feature overview (Doc ID 2991346.1) Product roadmap (Doc ID 1966243.2) Maintenance Schedule (Doc ID 876292.1) PeopleSoft – Ideas Lab Graham Smith's Data for PeopleTools Releases Critical Patch Updates, Security Alerts and Bulletins PeopleSoft PeopleTools Maintenance Patches and Deployment Packages Released for 2024 - All (Doc ID 2997838.1) E-CERT: Finding a Certified Combination of PeopleTools, PeopleSoft Enterprise Applications, and Rdbms: an Example with Screenshots (Doc ID 1463015.1) PeopleSoft on Oracle Cloud Infrastructure E-UPG: New PeopleTools 8.60 Upgrade Projects - PPLTLS859 and PPLTLS860 (Doc ID 2910205.1)

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2606: Kyle Benson from Gottman.com explores the complexities of financial conflicts in relationships, emphasizing that disagreements about money often stem from differing values and meanings attached to it. He offers five rules for having constructive conversations about money, focusing on mutual understanding, respect, and validation rather than mere persuasion or argument. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-rules-constructive-conflict-conversation-money/ Quotes to ponder: "Conflicts about money in a marriage aren't really about money. Most arguments are about what money means to each person in the relationship." "Happy couples start conflict conversations gently and allow their partner to influence them." "There is only one essential assumption that will make the conversation about hurt feelings or the aftermath of a fight workout constructively: that in every disagreement or miscommunication, there are always two points of view, and they are both valid." Episode references: The Intimate Enemy by George Bach: https://www.amazon.com/Intimate-Enemy-Fight-Fair-Marriage/dp/068801884X Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kyle Benson with The Gottman Institute teaches about what's underneath anger and how to manage it. Episode 2278: The Anger Iceberg by Kyle Benson of Gottman Institute on Understanding and Handling Anger The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-anger-iceberg/ Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalHealthDailyDietNutritionFitness Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices