Podcasts about Lentil

The cattle industry and environmental groups at odds over a nomination to make buffel grass a Weed of National Significance, Elsie Johnson named the overall winner as the highest achieving senior student at the SA Sheep Expo, and a new study finds chickpeas and lentil have higher nutritional value to the human diet than oats and wheat.

Kelly Gibney has a tasty and economical dish that is also wonderfully versatile.

We don't know what the Day of Liberation holds for the economy, but obviously it's going to be great. Right now, Cory Booker is still talking, health services are shutting down, and it's maybe too much to take in in one bite. Small bites, SaysWhovia. Share the load. Work in shifts. Take a walk. Come to Maureen's for dinner. She can stretch a lentil.Grab a spoon, SaysWhovia. It's time to eat! Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

India reinstates tariffs on chickpeas from Australia from today, more than 100,000 head of livestock estimated lost in flooding in outback QLD, and research on the Eyre Peninsula into how canola crops will burn in varying conditions.

Following the death of his beloved cat Lentil comedian Robin Wealleans did something slightly unusual. He froze him and then brought him back to life.

But she finds new Uses For Old Organ Pipes.A series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. The third Sunday of Lent had arrived. Reverend Morris was counting down the days until Easter in the same way a prisoner counts down the days until their release. He was dreading today's morning Eucharist after the embarrassment of last week."I still can't believe I was stupid enough to mix up that erotic story with my sermon!" He exclaimed. "Why did I print it out?""Ah relax Simon. It was a fantastic first attempt, and that vicar from Manchester seemed to enjoy it!" Jenna replied, making herself a coffee."Yes I know but, well I suppose you're right. Nobody made a complaint. I'm just glad the youth & children were already dismissed to their classes. I'd have had a load of outraged parents begging for me to be defrocked!""No damage done," Jenna smiled. "And you truly do have hidden talents. I had no idea you were so good at writing erotica. You should try it again sometime!"This Sunday's service passed without incident, and most of the congregation were no doubt disappointed that the vicar's sermon had returned to its familiar, boring self. Afterwards, Gordon peered over the top of the organ and smiled as he noticed Jenna."Morning!" He said."Hello Gordon!" Jenna replied. "How are you getting on with, you know?" She winked."Ah that," he laughed. "You weren't kidding when you said use lots of lube, were you? It's fun, but," Gordon lowered his voice. "It doesn't match up to you. I miss our organ lessons.""Me too. We're halfway through Lent. Stay strong. You'll get through it!""I'll try my best! Oh, are these of any interest to you or Simon?" He handed her two tin organ pipes, one smaller than the other. "I know you're into arts and crafts. Thought you might have some use for these. Some of the old pipes have been replaced.""These are nice!" Jenna said, holding up the pipes. "Great condition.""They make great wall ornaments. I see loads of them for sale on eBay. Some go for really high prices.""I'll see if I can get creative. It'll be a fun spring project for me. Thanks Gordon! Oh before I forget, you couldn't do a favor for a member of the church, could you?""Certainly!""Gladys asked if you could call round and fix a new door handle on her kitchen door. I know you're really good at D I Y; you fitted new wall sockets in the church hall."The organist's face fell. "Um, oh right. Yes. I'm sure I can.""Great! She'll be thrilled. Right, I'd better get going. Simon's taking Christopher out for some father-son time, so I'll be home alone. I'll see if I can get creative with these old organ pipes!"Gordon gulped. The thought of calling round to see Mrs. Wilcox terrified him."My God, the old girl will pounce on me like a lioness ambushing a gazelle!" He noticed the churchwarden heading up the aisle. "Norman! Could you do me a favor?"Jenna arrived back at the vicarage, wondering how to spend the rest of the afternoon. She looked carefully at the two organ pipes, running a finger down the smooth, dull metal."Hmm, this larger one, it could be just the right size!"Up in the bedroom, Jenna lifted her skirt and pulled her panties down to the floor and stepped out of them. Feeling horny, she imagined Gordon walking in and catching her with her legs spread with an organ pipe buried deep in her cunt. The larger pipe measured about 11" long from pointed tip to end of the tapering foot. She remembered what Gordon had told her about organ pipes.Flue pipes are also known as labial pipes. The foot is the bottom portion of the pipe, usually conical. At its base is the toe hole, through which wind enters it."Ooh yeah." Jenna reached between her legs and discovered that she was already dripping wet. She fingered her cunt and clit. Damn, she needed to be filled. She took her time greasing up the organ pipe until it was dripping lubricant."Ah!" Jenna began sliding the pipe into her well-lubed cunt, one leisurely inch at a time. When she'd taken about six inches inside, she began slowly pushing it in and out, coating the pipe with her juices.Her fingers rubbed her clit softly and covered it in her essence. The pressure and speed of her fingers built. She imagined Gordon's thick fingers deep inside her, whilst she lay naked on the organ stool in the church,Jenna wanted more, wanted it harder. She increased her speed and moved the organ pipe in and out faster. Suddenly, her whole body tensed, the sweet feelings of ecstasy were almost torture. She need to come but wanted the pleasure to last longer. She was almost there, almost tipping over the edge of orgasm. She pushed the pipe still deeper into her womanhood, then reached for the smaller one,Norman's SubmissionNorman Winstanley turned into Rosebay Gardens, the quaint little cul-de-sac where Mrs. Wilcox lived."Nice place for old folk," he mused, parking up in front of the small bungalow. He picked up the small tool bag, headed up the drive and knocked on the door.Glancing round, he was amused by the pair of garden gnomes on the front lawn. They were dressed in bondage gear.The front door opened and Mrs. Wilcox appeared. "Oh, hello Norman! What are you doing here?""Here to fix your kitchen door, my dear!" Norman replied. "Gordon sends his apologies but something came up.""Dearie me," the old lady replied, not fooled for a moment. "Oh well, you'll do nicely! Right this way!" She ushered him inside and gave his arse cheeks a squeeze.Norman raised an eyebrow, but ignored her actions. After all, the old bird was eighty-six."God, this feels so amazing!" Jenna gasped as she thrust the small organ pipe up her arsehole. She moaned loudly, her cunt pulsing hard around the larger organ pipe. Her whole body shook with the force of her orgasm."Fuck, yes!" The vicar's wife screamed out as she found a new use for the old organ pipes."Don't forget to polish the sideboard, dearie!" Mrs. Wilcox smiled as Norman entered the living room and brought her a glass of sherry. He was naked apart from a frilly apron."Right you are, Gladys," the churchwarden replied. This was more of a thrill than he ever imagined.And here I was worrying how I'd survive six weeks without sex from the vicar's wife! He thought."Norman!" Mrs. Wilcox snapped. "I asked for a schooner! This glass isn't a schooner! I'm afraid I'll have to discipline you. Turn around at once!"Norman did as she asked and she struck his bare buttocks with a riding crop."Ouch!""You're a very naughty boy!" Mrs. Wilcox said. "What are you?""I'm a very naughty boy!" Norman replied.Jenna Breaks Her Lent Vow, In Order To Aid The Bishop.Bishop George lay in a hospital bed between sleep and vague drowsiness. He was hot, frustrated and uncomfortable. Waiting. Waiting for the nurses to bring him food. Waiting for them to change him. He loathed being dependent on others like this. He'd always gone his own way, not caring whom he offended. Then again he was lucky to be alive, and boredom and frustration were the least of his worries. His leg had been reset, but he was very much troubled by the thought of infection developing.Bishop George closed his eyes and wondered if he'd be well enough to attend the Easter service at St Michael's Church. He'd been looking forward to it for ages, and it was only two weeks away. Reverend Morris had just departed, having spent an hour with him. The visit had lifted the bishop's spirits and he was thankful for the vicar's kind words."That bloody cyclist! He shouldn't have been on the pavement in the first place!"He'd been walking down the street and had been sent flying when a careless cyclist had crashed right into him. His right leg had been broken in three places. It had been a terrible ordeal, but he didn't expect to remain in hospital for long. You were soon booted out these days.Bishop George sighed. He wasn't looking forward to his sister Anne, coming to care for him whilst he recovered. Anne was notoriously bossy.Meanwhile, back at St Michael's Vicarage, Jenna sipped a coffee and idly ran her finger down the cup."Poor George," she said, as Reverend Morris returned from visiting him in the hospital. "You know something, why don't we let him stay with us while he recovers? We have two spare bedrooms, one for when Christopher stays over, but the smaller room would be ideal for George. It's got a foldaway bed."Reverend Morris thought for a moment. "You're absolutely right, Jen. You're a true Christian. The Bishop has been very good to me since I took over at St Michael's. We could provide all the care he needs. Whilst his sister might mean well, she's a rather, fierce individual!""I only met her once. She scared me!" Jenna admitted.The vicar nodded. "Besides, having him staying with us will help keep my mind off, er, you know. I've been struggling recently with what we've given up for Lent."Jenna smiled. "I know Simon. You've done really well. Not much longer now. When Easter comes, He will rise, I'm not just talking about Jesus, by the way,"Reverend Morris bit his lip. "He might be rising already, Oh! I can't wait to have sex again, must restrain myself. Right, I'll go call George, and prepare the spare bedroom for him."The bishop was more than delighted when Reverend Morris arrived to collect him from the hospital, the next day."You're quite sure about this, Simon?" He said as the vicar pushed his wheelchair down the aisle. "I don't want to be a burden to you and Jenna. Busy weeks ahead for you, what with Holy Week and so on. And your son, doesn't he stay over on Fridays?""Think nothing of it, George. We have two spare bedrooms at the vicarage. There's room for everyone. Jenna and I are glad to have you staying with us. It'll be peace of mind knowing that you'll be safe and well-looked after."Bishop George smirked to himself. He was definitely looking forward to perhaps getting some special therapy off Jenna. He remembered the little birthday ceremony he'd taken part in just before Christmas,"Must say, I'm glad to be out of that hospital," he muttered, as he was helped into the car. "The bloke in the bed next to me, he lay there for two hours before someone realized he was dead. Poor sod. I said a few prayers for him.""That's awful," Reverend Morris replied. “But on the bright side, the soul enjoyed a very prompt wake, with no less than the bishop presiding!”George finally chuckled at the realization of his good service.Changing the subject, Simon added; "Well hopefully, you'll find the vicarage a lot more relaxing, and our meals a lot more edible. We both enjoy cooking."He drove out of the hospital car park and headed for the motorway. "The nursing staff said you were a difficult patient." Simon probed."I see. Quite the compliment." Bishop George said. "I'm sure they were exaggerating. Any news from church?" Is Jenna still learning to play the organ?"The traffic noise was loud, as rush hour was approaching."Oh yes! She's made remarkable progress there. Gordon is a fantastic teacher. She's of a good enough standard to stand in for him, on the rare occasions he isn't able to do the Sunday service.""I'm sure," he replied.She is very talented indeed at playing a man's organ too! George thought to himself."Our churchwarden Norman Winstanley has started spending a lot of time helping one of the older members of church around the house. Gladys Wilcox, she's in her eighties, widowed and lives alone. Her grandson helps where he can, but he works full-time so can't be there on weekdays. I can tell Gladys really enjoys having Norman call round. She's a sweet old lass, been at the church before I was even born. Her husband used to play the organ before Gordon took over.""That's nice. Not many want to take the time to help the elderly these days."‘Samaritan' ServicesBishop George soon settled in at the vicarage. The bed was far more comfortable than the one in the hospital."I think I'll be just fine here," he grinned."We're glad to have you here with us, George," Jenna said, as she brought him a cup of tea. Anything you need, don't hesitate to ask.""I wouldn't mind the touch of your healing hands," he whispered in Jenna's ear as she prepared to leave."Oh, no can do, Bishop," Jenna replied. "I've given up sex for Lent! Poor Simon, he's been sleeping in the other spare bedroom ever since Ash Wednesday. It's been a struggle for both of us, but we've stuck to it."Bishop George looked as if his recovery had taken a turn for the worse!On Monday night, Reverend Morris was called to administer last rites to someone at the local hospice, leaving Jenna alone in the house to care for the bishop. As she sat reading something on her phone, she heard him moaning in pain. George was still on opioids, but weaning off. Jenna had just given him his 2nd pill after dinner. He was agonizing for the pill's relief to kick in."Poor George. His leg keeps aching. He must be so miserable. I suppose I could cheer him up a little, but I made a promise." She thought for a moment. "But it's justified if it speeds up his recovery."Bishop George was half-asleep, when he heard Jenna entering his room. She sat down on the chair beside his bed.His eyes shot open as he felt the bedsheet over his groin being lightly pulled down. His heart beat faster. "What, are you doing?""Aiding your recovery."Excitement only increased further as the full reality of the situation dawned on him. Soon, he felt warm fingertips moving up his thigh. Bishop George's heart was pounding."I thought you'd given it up for Lent?""I have, but just this once, I'll make an exception for you. Promise you won't tell my husband? I've put him through so much suffering, denying him the pleasure.""Oh my lips are sealed," Bishop George replied. "Besides, he's as fit as a fiddle. He'll have to suck it up and cope. I've had a terrible trauma. Any help you can provide, you know I'll be beyond grateful, my dear Jenna."He was already semi-erect.Jenna's hand went further, seeking holy treasure. She gently unfastened the restraining snaps of his pajama bottoms and exposed his heated erection.Bishop George put his hands together. "For what I am about to receive, O Lord, make me truly thankful."Jenna gently teased and examined his shaft and foreskin, bending down close to breathe in the heavy, sweaty musk of his balls. Then she took his shaft between thumb and forefinger and begin to pleasure the older man with slow, deliberate, sensuous movements.Unable to remain composed any longer, the bishop murmured. "Oh my God,"Jenna continued to stroke him, experimenting with the rhythm and pressure. After a short while, he felt her lips start to trace up and down his cock, ever so lightly. Starting with his balls, and then moving upwards, she started to apply a series of delicate licks and kisses. Sweet Lord! What joy! It was so slow, so tender and intimate, and he knew at once that this was exactly the kind of healthcare he needed.Bishop George was desperate to release, and Jenna placed her hand reassuringly in his. One long caress of his cock almost made him come. A little precum leaked out, and Jenna gathered it up with her tongue.At last, she took the tip of his cock into her mouth, slowly and carefully. Her warm wet mouth felt incredible, and the bishop couldn't help but cry out in joy. Jenna descended right down to the base of his shaft, completely deep-throating him. Some final, wanton tongue action brought him over the edge, and he could take no more.Bishop George's whole body trembled, as he climaxed and spent."Oh my, Jenna!" He cried as he erupted in a powerful ejaculation. Pulse after pulse of his issue hit the back of her throat. She swallowed it all. The glorious, joyful spurting continued. The vicar's wife continued her masterful manipulations.He fell back on the sweat-drenched pillow, his face gripped by sheer joyful release. Jenna let him recover for a moment and catch his breath. After a short while, he raised his hand and placed it gently against her cheek. Gathering his strength, he heaved himself up and brought her lips to his in a lingering kiss. She responded by slipping her arms around him."Are you feeling better now?" She whispered."Much better! I'll sleep like a log tonight, and I just know I'll be up and walking around in no time!""I'm so relieved that it's only your leg that was injured, George. Thankfully, what matters is still in fine working order."Suddenly, the sound of the front door opening, brought them to their senses."Better get some sleep, George." Jenna whispered, giving him a final kiss. “Oh, George, is it true? Gordon says that the same Greek word that Tyndale translated as ‘communion', is also translated as ‘intercourse'?George was shocked, and marveled. “I think the word is ‘koininia'. And yes, only the context provides the distinction.” They are both conduits for ministering life, aren't they?Jenna beamed. “I've always viewed my sexuality as part of God's providence, and I feel I have a responsibility to not be selfish. Sleep well, my good man."I will, and thanks again for your special worship. And don't worry about breaking your Lentil promise, it was only a little bending of your own pledge, God won't mind. You were aiding my recovery after all," He relaxed and fell into a blissful, drug-aided sleep.Jenna could still taste the bishop's cum on her lips as she headed down the stairs."Ah, Jen! Is everything alright?" Reverend Morris said, hanging his coat up. "I hope George didn't give you too much trouble?""Oh no trouble at all. The old boy is sleeping like a baby."Jenna's Threesome In The Church HallA close encounter with an old, bitter enemy, and a blessed miracle! And Gordon the organist is a big softie deep down,This joyful Eastertideaway with sin and sorrow!My love, the Crucified,has sprung to life this morrow.Had Christ, who once was slain,not burst his three-day prison,our faith had been in vain:but now hath Christ arisen,arisen, arisen;but now has Christ arisen!"On this, the most holiest of days, we celebrate the risen Lord!" Reverend Morris began, as the Easter Sunday service at St Michael's began. As expected, the church was packed, much to the vicar's delight. In the four years he'd been in charge of this humble little parish, Reverend Morris never expected to see such an increase in the congregation. It warmed his heart.Though, he secretly admitted, the fully-stocked pews weren't the only thing making him smile. With the arrival of Easter Sunday, Lent was finally over. His wife's ban on sex had expired. He could hardly wait until this evening, when he and Jenna would finally get some time to themselves.Over at the organ, Gordon was also hoping he'd soon be able to resume giving Jenna "organ lessons.""Look at her, sitting at the front in that floral print dress. She looks every inch the respectable vicar's wife, but the way it clings to her curves, a subtle hint at the delicious raw sexuality underneath," the organist sighed, feeling a stirring in his groin, when he should've been concentrating on the service."Oh God, she's beautiful and I am so bloody horny," Gordon muttered, slipping a hand under his black robe and rubbing himself."Please stand for our hymn, Thine Be the Glory." The vicar announced, and the congregation dutifully did. There were a few awkward coughs and shuffling of feet as the organ remained silent."Our hymn, Thine Be the Glory!" The vicar repeated."Oh!" Gordon spluttered, and slammed his fingers down on the manuals so hard, the entire church seemed to vibrate."Goodness me, he's pounding those pipes," one of the elderly ladies of the congregation muttered. "For the first time in years, I don't need to turn up my hearing aids."After the hymn, the curate took over the reading of the notices. Reverend Morris slipped over to the organ."Bit of a ten on the tension scale there, Gordon!" He whispered. "Having problems with your instrument?" It wasn't the first time the organist had appeared a little distracted during a service."Sorry about that, Vicar, this upper manual does require a bit more pressure these days!"Reverend Morris chuckled. The organist was just as guilty as he was for thinking irreverent thoughts during the service."We may rejoice now that the Lent period has ended.""Aye, I fully intend to," Gordon replied, rearranging his music sheets."You never said what it was that you gave up.""Umm, think it was whiskey. What did you give up for Lent, Vicar?""Err, chocolate." He glanced at Jenna, sat in the front aisle. "I'm going to pig out and eat out a, err, eat a lot of it later."Gordon nodded, as the reverend returned to the pulpit. "He's even worse at lying than I am."The service ended and everyone headed over to the church hall for tea and coffee. Instead of the usual plain biscuits and cake, Reverend Morris had asked everyone to do a "Jacob's Join" and bring some Easter eggs along. There was enough chocolate to fill a room, much to the delight of the younger members of the congregation, who wasted no time in helping themselves."Do help yourselves to some delicious hot cross buns," Jenna smiled, walking around the hall with a tray, and the buns went down a storm with the older folk.After a longer than normal gathering, it was time to clear away the chairs and tables."Where's Norman Winstanley gone? He's usually here to move these tables." Reverend Morris wondered."Oh I have some chores lined up for him so he had to hurry back to my place, Vicar," Mrs. Wilcox said, as she began sweeping the hall.Gordon raised an eyebrow. "Is he your personal slave Gladys? He never seems to be away.""Well you seemed reluctant to fill that particular vacancy dearie, so I had to look elsewhere. I must say, dear Norman has proved a most willing and able subject,"The way she emphasized the words ‘willing and able', it intrigued Gordon. He cast his mind back a few weeks to the embarrassing incident with the fleshlight.The old girl wasn't shy when it came to sucking my cock, but surely she's not doing that on a regular basis to Norman, is she? Norman's never said a word, but he seems to enjoy calling round. Or is it all perfectly innocent and he's just helping her with the housework?"Hello, earth to Gordon," Reverend Morris said. "Could you give Jenna and myself a hand and help us move these folded chairs into the storeroom?""Right you are, Vicar. Sorry, I was miles away.""Daydreaming?" Jenna winked at him."Perhaps."The three of them headed to the far end of the hall and down a corridor, where the storeroom was. Jenna smiled as they went in. Haven't been in here since last October, when I seduced Josh the curate and took his virginity. The room was still as untidy as ever."One of these days, we really must make time to sort this room out," Reverend Morris said. "It's a disgrace and I'm ashamed I've let it get such a mess.Gordon placed the chairs in the corner. "Get Oakwood Road Methodist Church to clear out all their junk first. They've been sharing with us for years. Isn't it about time they got their own storage place?""Hmm, yes. I'll have to have a word with Reverend Ewing."Jenna rearranged some of the box files. "While we're here, we could straighten a few things, argh, there's a massive spider on the wall!""It'll be more scared of you than you are of it," Reverend Morris said."Simon, that doesn't make me feel any better! You know I hate spiders!""Where is the offending arachnid? I'll squash it with my shoe.""You'll do no such thing, Gordon," the vicar interrupted. "It's one of God's creatures and it's Easter Sunday. Let it live. See look, it's scuttled into the air vent up there. It's gone. Nothing to worry about, Jen.Amidst the uproar over the spider, none of them noticed or heard the storeroom door being pulled shut and locked."Now the fun begins," a voice sniggered, opening an app on an iPhone."Right, well I've had enough re-arranging for today," Gordon said. "It's time for another cuppa and a rest." He tried the door. "Hey, what? This door is locked!""What?" Reverend Morris rushed over. "I don't believe it, how is it locked? It can't be locked without a key.""Some silly bugger's gone and locked the door without realizing we're in here!" Gordon groaned. "I bet its old Jack Bradley, thinks of himself as caretaker for the church hall. Daft sod is always locking up and forgetting to turn the lights off. I really think Norman should be given the job of locking up in future.""Wait, so we're trapped in here?" Jenna said."For the moment, yes. Oh don't worry, it's not like a bank vault or anything. We won't run out of air. I'll just phone Josh the curate. I know he keeps a spare set of keys." Reverend Morris reached in his pocket. "My smartphone, where is it? Oh damn, I left it in the car. I always do that when it's the Sunday Eucharist. I have a phone-free morning. It's my little rule.""Really helpful, Rev," the organist groaned. "Don't you have a hotline to God 24 7? Maybe a prayer or two will unlock the door. Luckily, I have my smartphone on me. He pulled it out of his pocket and swiped the screen."Oh.""Problem?""Um, looks like the battery's dead. I swear there was 5% charge still on it but guess I was wrong.""Boys, worry not. I have my phone, and it's always fully charged," Jenna said, lifting her smartphone from her handbag. "Ta-dah. Fully charged." She called the curate. After a long period of ringing, it went to voicemail."This must be the first time ever that Josh's phone has gone to voicemail," Reverend Morris said. "The lad needs that phone of his surgically removing."Okay well for whatever reason, he's not picking up. He could be driving. I've left a message. We'll just have to wait. But what's the rush to leave?" Jenna grinned. "If you ask me, we should make the most of our time here."The vicar and organist looked at each other. "What do you mean, Jen?"That familiar naughtiness appeared on her face. "Well you both know I gave up sex for Lent, right?"They cleared their throats. "Yes.""Lent's over. Let's have some fun.""Jenna, what are you suggesting?" Reverend Morris spluttered."I think your lovely wife is suggesting a threesome, Vicar." Gordon replied, fully up for it."How about it? It's nice to share, yes? Like we all did when it was my birthday?"Reverend Morris was his usual reserved self at first, but there was no denying, like Gordon, he was as horny as a rutting stag."Well, um, there are no security cameras in here, are there?""As if," Gordon laughed. "There's nothing worth nicking in here, apart from old furniture and dusty hymn books. No cams, but there is rising damp on that lower left wall."Jenna began unbuttoning her dress. "Naturally, my dear husband gets to go first. After all he is my holy man. You don't mind, you do Gordon?" Jenna then laid on her back, across a long narrow banquet table."Oh, not at all," the organist said, rubbing his crotch. "Don't keep me waiting too long though, eh? The Wurlitzer is already rising,"The sinister scandalIn the passenger seat of a parked car, the unknown person with the iPhone stared at the screen and observed the antics in the storeroom, thanks to the hidden cam that had been installed."Well I never. I knew there was something going on with the organist and the vicar's wife! Looks like the vicar himself is prepared to overlook some of the Ten Commandments. Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery? Thou Shalt Not Covet?""Hopefully it'll be the downfall of that little tart once and for all," the driver of the car replied. "I've never forgiven her for bringing her filth and depravity to this church a year ago. Marries the vicar, whilst carrying on with the organist on the side. She managed to break up my marriage, and I can't wait to send this footage to the tabloids.""Oh Patricia, you're not going to go that far are you, dearie?" Jenna's a lovely girl really. I thought we were just going to have a bit of fun. That's why I asked my grandson to install the camera and set up this app thing so we could watch. I wanted to make the organist sweat a little."Mrs. Norris narrowed her eyes. "I haven't set foot in that church since the vicar married her. This sordid carry-on can't be allowed to continue!""Oh look, things are getting a wee bit steamy in there!" Mrs. Wilcox replied, gawping at the smartphone. "Good heavens, my glasses are steaming up! Look where Gordon's putting his tongue. He's such a skilled organist,""Disgusting behavior," Mrs. Norris fumed. Yet she continued to watch intently.Gordon opened his mouth again, and ran it from Jenna's belly to her chin. She began moaning. On the next lick the organist started even lower, right on her clit. Jenna moaned loudly as his tongue slowly climbed up her, stopping briefly at her chest. He went back to between her thighs again, and then he began fingering her cunt. Jenna began to moan loudly as she climaxed.When she glanced up at him, she noticed he was fully aroused. She rolled over, onto her belly while he dropped his trousers and underpants, and presented his large, engorged member to her."Did you miss my organ pipe?""God yes!"The organist's entire body shuddered under Jenna's touch. With that, she propped herself up on her elbows on one edge of the table. He ass hung over the opposite edge. She grasped his cock with both hands and began rubbing hard, enjoying the reaction she was getting from him. She decided to take it a step further, and started to lick his cock, all the while continuing jerking him off. She licked up and down the thick shaft and finally stopped at the head. Precum oozed from the tip. With one fluid motion, she deep throated the head of his penis as far as she could. Gordon cried out in joy."Fuck yes, I've missed this so much!"At the same time, Reverend Morris unzipped his trousers and approached behind his wife."Whilst you are playing the organist's organ, I shall now enter your Holy Temple, which has been closed off to me since the start of Lent."He pressed his member against her cunt. Jenna gasped as her husband applied pressure, and slid his cock into her."I've missed your Holy Rod, my love."He slowly thrust in and out of her, which drove her wild. She reached one hand down to rub her clit, which stimulated the already overwhelming pleasure. simon sped up his thrusting, his cock ramming against her cervix. She moaned. A few minutes later Jenna bucked harder and faster as she felt her orgasm build up. Reverend Morris did the same as his cock twitched in her."Ah, oh God, yes!" The vicar's wife threw her head back and screamed as she came. Her cunt walls contracted tightly around her husband's cock as her love juices leaked out of her. His own orgasm hit shortly after, and he shot a huge load of warm seed deep into her."Bloody hell," Gordon gasped. That had to be the most intense orgasm he'd ever seen Jenna have. He felt a brief moment of doubt, fearing he wouldn't be able to match the pleasure her husband had given her. Something tugged at his heart, a nagging ache. He shrugged it off, but it remained. He didn't want to think about the fact he was starting to fall deeply in love with this red-haired beauty who'd seduced him so skillfully last September, with a blowjob whilst he sat on the organ stool.This was always meant to be just a bit of no-strings naughty fun, he thought to himself. But it's gone way beyond that. I never imagined she'd have this effect on me,Reverend Morris gently pulled out of her and Jenna rolled over & sat up, cum oozing from her throbbing womanhood."Don't keep Gordon waiting, Jen," he whispered to her. "He needs more than a quick blow of the organ pipe."She nodded, kissing him. "I won't. I intend to make this just as special for him as it was for you."Gordon brightened up. "What, you mean I'm getting the full Monty?""I really enjoy that organ pipe of yours inside me, Gordon," she winked.He was more than happy with sloppy seconds.Sitting him down in one of the metal folding chairs, Jenna straddled him, and in one motion, plunged herself down on his hard cock. His hands found her breasts, and she squirmed on his lap deliciously. Gordon began to thrust himself into her, slowly at first, increasing speed gradually, until they were fucking for all they were worth.All the pent-up desire that Jenna had been holding inside throughout Lent, all the desire for this older man, was unleashed. Much as she loved her husband, she'd also had a thing for Gordon, way more than all the other men of the church she'd bedded. He was special. Those daddy vibes. They'd never gone away.When he paused for breath, she pulled him up & onto his back on a table and mounted him again. Ever so slowly, she undulated on his cock, and, eyes closed, fingered her clit while he moaned beneath her at the sight. When she started to shake and groan, the sight became too much for the organist and he knew he was joining her, whether he wanted to or not.With a yell, Gordon grabbed her hips and shot spurt after spurt of thick cum into the goddess above him."Wow, now that's the kind of worship that truly comes from the heart!" Reverend Morris said, amazed at the organist's stamina. "That's what I like to see; Jenna fully satisfied!""Oh Gordon," Jenna sighed, when they'd finally recovered. She kissed him softly on the lips. "That was wonderful." She noticed he had tears in his eyes. "Hey, are you alright?""Never better Jen," he mumbled. "Bit dusty in this room, eh? Think it's irritating my eyes a bit.""We're the two luckiest men in the world aren't we?" Reverend Morris said, sensing Gordon's awkwardness. "To be both loved by this amazing woman. God has truly smiled on us. It's all part of His plan.""And I love you both," Jenna said, slipping her arms round the two of them.Gordon felt himself filling up, but he held it together.Gladys watches"Utterly vile," Mrs. Norris cringed, still watching on the iPhone with Mrs. Wilcox. "All three of them should be cast out of the church and prosecuted.""Prosecuted?" The old lady replied. "Dearie, I think what we've just witnessed is a very modern love story. Gordon is in love with Jenna. Jenna loves him. The vicar knows that she loves them both.""How the hell can you say that? He's a dirty old man if you ask me.""When you're as old as I am, you just know these things. Human nature's a fascinating thing. And you're never too old to have fun either. I'm so glad that Norman Winstanley called round to fix my kitchen door!""So you're not going to give me the footage?" Mrs. Norris snapped."No dearie, I'm not. I'm deleting this video right now.""No don't!"But it was too late. The recording on the phone was deleted, along with the app. "I've remotely shut down the camera in the storeroom too," the old lady smiled. "I'll get my grandson Dwaine to remove and destroy it.""You treacherous old bag. You tricked me!" Mrs. Norris yelled, eyes bulging behind her horn-rimmed glasses. There was a knock on the car window and she almost jumped out of her skin. The hulking figure of Dwaine appeared."Everything alright, Gran?""Oh fine, dear," she said, getting out of the car. "I'm ready to go home now. It's been a rather eventful church service! But first, I need to pop into the church hall. I think I've forgotten to switch off a light, "Her plans to destroy Jenna thwarted, Mrs. Norris accepted defeat and drove off, away from St. Michael's church forever.Jenna, Reverend Morris and Gordon had just finished getting dressed when the door of the storeroom was unlocked."Oh Vicar! I'm so sorry! How careless of me! I'd finished sweeping up and thought you'd all gone home. Jack left me in charge of locking up. Blame it on a senior moment. I had no idea you three were in the storeroom!" The four of them walking into the hallway."No worries, Gladys, there's no harm done. We were only in there half an hour."As they all headed out of the hall, Josh the curate came rushing inside, out of breath."Jenna! I just got your message! I'd just driven Bishop George home when I read it. Oh I'm glad you all got out of there!""Not the end to the Easter service I was expecting, but it's something we can laugh about in years to come!" Reverend Morris said and he turned to Jenna and Gordon and grinned. "Come, let's all go back to the Vicarage and have a drink. Mrs. Wilcox. Your grandson is most welcome to join us too."The vicar, his wife and the organist remained blissfully unaware of how close they'd come to having their passionate threesome revealed to the entire world. Once again, peace and happiness remained at St. Michael's Church, and it seemed Jenna's amazing way with bringing joy to the lives of church men was stronger than ever,One month later"We now we look forward to Ascension tide," Reverend Morris said, a few Sundays after Easter. “The Feast of Pentecost follows.”Jenna returned from the church toilets. She'd been feeling off-color for the past couple of days and now knew why."Simon, I must speak with you and Gordon," she said, as the church began emptying."What's wrong Jen? You don't look too good."Gordon was tidying up his music books and switching off the organ, when the vicar appeared."Jenna has something to tell us," Reverend Morris said. "She says it's very happy, but life-changing news."The organist put down his books immediately. This sounded serious, and he felt his stomach jump. "What's up?""Well you two, how do I break this to you gently? It seems there's been some sort of miracle. My contraceptive pill has failed. I'm pregnant. And, well”Both men's jaws dropped.Gordon spluttered, terrified. He feared his future was in for trouble. He feared his two best friends over this. He feared the gossip. He loved his church and didn't want anything to change. He was barely able to process this information.Simon embraced his wife and beamed. “The child is mine. I take great joy in the arrival of a life. My opportunity to raise a child in a wonderful home, with the wife God has blessed me with. Perhaps God will give us more, in years to come!”Jenna beamed. She turned to Simon and asked; “Simon, have you ever been a godfather?”To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Vicar's wife, Jenna, decides to give up sex for Lent!A series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. The Jenna series started with ‘Jenna Goes To Church', followed shortly after with ‘Jenna, the Vicar's Wife'. It resumed recently with Jenna's New Year'; and now it continues with a Lentil 2-part story. Other episodes will follow.It was the last Sunday of Shrovetide, known as Quinquagesima. At St. Michael's Church, Reverend Morris had amassed a pile of old palm crosses, intending to burn them on Ash Wednesday."Shouldn't be long before the first members of the faithful arrive," he said to his wife Jenna, who was adjusting the flowers at the side of the pulpit."Oh before I forget, I've got something for you to burn on Ash Wednesday," she smiled, handing him a pair of her panties."This is an unusual-looking palm cross!" He replied. "I think I'd better burn this separately from the others! Is there some reason why you want your undies reduced to ash?""Well Simon, I've been thinking. And I've finally decided what I'm going to give up for Lent.""You're giving up wearing underwear?""Ha-ha. Tempting, but no. I'm giving up sex."Reverend Morris almost dropped the box full of crosses. "What? Sex? No, you can't be serious!"Jenna nodded. "I'm 100% serious, my love. Lent is supposed to be hard, and you're always going on about how part of being a good Christian is making sacrifices and so on. It's traditionally a time of fasting and abstaining from something to repent and focus our hearts and minds on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.""Yes, but within reason, Jen! I don't expect you to suffer hardship as bad as that!""I can do it, Simon. I'm committed to seeing it through. It's only forty days.""B-but, that's six weeks!" the vicar whined, looking as if his entire world was about to end. "I, I'm not sure I can, er, go without for so long!""Now Simon, you're a man of God. You're stronger than most. I know you can do this. And just think how wonderful it will be when Easter comes, everything in calf, bursting out in spring glory, sap rising, mating seasons beginning, shoots thrusting upwards, days getting longer, ""Vicars dying of horniness, " Reverend Morris sighed."Exactly. And it won't just be you going without. The other chaps of this church will have to go without as well!""Oh my goodness, Jenna. There's going to be a lot of frustration building up in this church! When you say no sex, does that mean, ""No physical contact whatsoever, my dearest! No blowjobs, no kissing, no cock in cunt, nada! Just like social distancing."Reverend Morris' lip was trembling. "Not even a kiss?""Nope. I'll be sleeping in the spare bedroom until Easter. I can blow you a kiss. And whilst we can't do anything involving physical contact, there are other naughty ways we can get through Lent.""Like what?""Use your imagination, Simon!"He thought for a moment. "So I'll have to make do with dating Rosie Palms until Easter?""If it helps you cope, yes!"The reverend took a deep breath. "You're absolutely right, Jenna. I can get through this. I admire you so much for deciding to have a sex ban. In fact, I think I love you even more, and I didn't think that possible!""Aww. Ditto." She kissed him. "We'll make the most of Shrove Tuesday," she added, with a wink. "I'm going to do some creative things with pancakes."He slipped his arms around her. "Remember that morning after the Candlemas service, when we got soaking wet in the rain and we just ravished each other once we got back to the vicarage?""Hee hee, yes. Or that time last month during that short holiday in Lincolnshire when we stayed in that weird hotel, and the ghost gatecrashed our passion?""Bit early in the morning for that, isn't it? Then again, I'm not complaining!" A voice shouted, and they both looked round. Gordon the organist had just arrived.Moments later, Josh the curate appeared."Morning guys!" Jenna smiled. She turned back to her husband. "You'd better get your robes on. Looks like some of the congregation are here already. I'll go and hand out some hymn books."He nodded and headed off to the vestry. "Forty days," he sighed. "God, .I will really need your help through this difficult time!"And just how were some of the other male members of St. Michael's Church going to cope for forty days without any 'spiritual guidance' from the vicar's wife?Shrove Tuesday (the eve of Lent)On Shrove Tuesday, Jenna spent all afternoon mixing pancake batter. It would've been quicker to buy some ready-made pancakes from Tesco, but where was the fun in that? She looked at the kitchen wall clock."Come on Simon, you're late. How long does a meeting with the Bishop take?"Her husband had been out all day. At last, she heard his car pull up on the drive."Good. Now the fun begins."The front door opened and Reverend Morris came rushing in. "Sorry I've been so long. Bishop George kept prattling on for ages and then coming back home there's been a road accident so I had to take the long way home, oh I see you've been busy!" He noticed his wife was completely naked except for an apron."Welcome home," she smirked. "It's time to flip some pancakes. Is my randy reverend able to provide some batter?"He licked his lips. "What sort of batter would you be requiring?""Hmm, let's see. That special 'anointing oil' you used during my 21st birthday?" She whirled a frying pan in her hand and flipped a pancake. "Here's one I prepared earlier."His hands found her shoulders, and turned her to face him. His hands moved up to cup her face and Jenna felt his lips close around hers in a tender kiss. She returned it with rising passion, slipping her tongue into his mouth. As their tongues danced, Jenna quickly unfastened her apron, letting it slide down over her smooth skin to the kitchen floor.She could hear Reverend Morris unfastening his own garments, and when he embraced her tightly, she felt his bare skin press against hers with delicious warmth. Her husband's mouth left her lips, trailing down her neck to her chest. He took a nipple in his mouth and teased the erect tip. It was perhaps the upcoming sex ban enhancing his senses, but Jenna's breasts had never felt so full, and had never tasted so sweet. His hands roamed down over her arse, savoring her curves.Reverend Morris moved back up her body, his lips playing over her breasts, then back up her neck. Jenna's hands slid down his chest and at last reached their goal. She gripped his throbbing member, took a few steps backward, pulling gently but firmly, and he promptly followed her. She felt the edge of the kitchen countertop meet her lower back, and she swiftly heaved herself on to the cool granite surface and lay back, spreading her legs.Reverend Morris had a sudden urge to taste his wife; his tongue met with her soft skin just above her clit, then down into her folds, tasting, discovering and exploring all that she had to offer. He began to suck and lick her clit. How he loved to worship at this altar.Jenna reached for the bowl of pancake batter. A wooden spoon was sticking out of the bowl. Without hesitation, she began spooning the batter down her breasts."It tastes alright," she murmured, placing a blob of batter on her husband's nose. "But it needs an extra ingredient, ""Umm, I think I can help you there.""Fuck me religiously, darling." Jenna said hoarsely.A pair of strong, silky legs wrapped around the vicar's arse. He lowered himself onto her and felt those glorious batter-coated breasts rub against his chest as he began thrusting into her. He tried to set a steady, leisurely pace to begin, but the legs around him urged him on faster and harder. Reverend Morris responded with enthusiasm, and within moments he was pounding into his wife with all his strength, mindful that after tonight he wouldn't be able to do this for six weeks."Yes, yes, oh my God yes, I've never felt anything like it!" Jenna moaned."Bloody hell, I'm coming, oh Jenna!" Reverend Morris yelled as his stream of hot cum filled up her cunt and flowed back out onto the kitchen countertop.Jenna lay back on the countertop, eyes closed. It was several minutes before her breathing had calmed enough for her to speak."Did I provide enough batter?" Reverend Morris asked."Your holy offering was more than generous!""Forty days without from this moment on. You've still time to change your mind.""I'm sticking to it, Simon. We'll get through Lent. We'll have to think up some creative contactless ways to get our rocks off."The smell of burning interrupted them. They both glanced at the stove. To Jenna's dismay, the pancake she'd been cooking had been virtually cremated in the frying pan."Oh dear," she said, gazing at the remains of the pancake, which now resembled a lump of coal."Now that's what I call a perfect burnt offering for Ash Wednesday!" Reverend Morris replied.The Organist is Entertained.Gordon Leesmith always looked forward to Thursday evening arriving. This was when he had organ practice at church, and for the past few months he'd been teaching Jenna to play the organ. These lessons were really just an excuse for a passionate romp with the stunning vicar's wife, who was always more than willing to get her hands on the organ in his trousers, rather than the church one.Gordon hummed to himself as he brewed himself a cup of tea. He checked the time. It was only just after midday. Six hours to go. He was impatient and horny, but in a very happy mood. He'd just returned from seeing his Primary Care physician. That in itself something of a miracle in modern Britain; and received good news. His benign prostate enlargement wasn't as bad as he'd feared. Despite being a bit overweight, the doctor had given him a clean bill of health. His blood pressure was low, and so was his cholesterol.Today was his birthday. He was fifty six. A year ago, Gordon had been a miserable, short-tempered man who didn't endear himself to anyone else in the church. Long-divorced, impotent and frustrated with being alone for so long, his life had turned upside down when a young woman by the name of Jenna Fox had started attending St. Michael's Church. A few months later, she'd turned her attentions to flirting with him. Never in a million years did Gordon think he'd end up getting his cock sucked by a stunning redhead whilst he sat on the organ stool.As Gordon sipped his tea, his phone vibrated."Oh, an email from Jenna," he smiled, checking the message.Happy Birthday Gordon! About tonight. I'm afraid I can't make tonight's organ practice. I won't be able to until Easter arrives. Thing is, I've chosen to give up sex for Lent. I know you won't to hear this and it's going to be so hard for me to stick to this, but you've got to test yourself and set a challenge, right? It's what being a Christian is all about. I truly hope you'll understand. But - that doesn't mean we can't still have some fun! Make sure you visit the church - I've left a birthday present for you on the organ stool, trust me, it'll see you through this hard time. And when Easter comes, Jesus won't be the only person that rises, wink wink. It'll be worth the wait, keep your organ pipe warm for me.Love Jenna. xxx"She's abstaining from sex?" Gordon almost dropped his cup of tea. "Wait, what? Oh no! This is a nightmare! I won't be able to have a fuck for six weeks? Bloody hell! I'll go round the bend, I can't even call on Yulia's mate Martika anymore. Damn it, why did she have to bugger off back to Ukraine?"He wasn't sure whether to scream or burst into tears, but after he overcame the initial shock, he took a deep breath and composed himself."Well if she's gone on strike that means the vicar, the churchwarden, the curate and the bishop won't be getting any cunt either. Ha! Misery loves company, as the old saying goes. Gordon suddenly felt much better, knowing he wasn't the only one being denied the pleasure. Still, six weeks, God, this was going to be a struggle."Hmm, oh well. I've endured worse. I once had to endure that ‘Brotherhood of Man' tribute act in Skegness. I wonder what Jenna's got me for my birthday?"He picked up his car keys. There was only one way to find out.When Gordon arrived at the church, he discovered that the door was unlocked. Usually he had the place to himself, and he was thankful for that, given the sort of "organ practice" he liked to engage in with Jenna. Cautiously, he entered the church. The sound of a vacuum cleaner could be heard. Mrs. Wilcox, one of the many "old church biddies" as Gordon secretly called them, was busy cleaning up the aisle. Noticing the organist approaching, the slightly-built pensioner switched off the vacuum."Ah, hello Gordon! Are you here to tickle the ivories? I'm just finishing off here and then I'll be out of your way." It wasn't at all fair to describe Gladys as an ‘old biddy'. She kept herself fit and classy, and besides the rotation of sanctuary cleaning which she took part, she also headed up an outreach to single mothers in the community."Hello Gladys. No need to stop on my account. I usually come here in the evening, but, er, change of plans. You know, you really should lock yourself in when you're here by yourself. You know what it's like these days. Quite a few crackheads and drunks hang around the churchyard, some can be intimidating."The old woman rolled her eyes. "Oh they don't concern me, dearie. I carry a small can of mace in my apron pocket. My grandson Dwaine bought it for me online. He'll be arriving soon to give me a lift home."Gordon raised an eyebrow. "Blimey. There's more to you than meets the eye. Is that stuff even legal?""Maybe not, but you won't rat on an oldie, will you?" She looked back over her shoulder at him, then winked.Gordon laughed. "My lips are sealed, Gladys."Gordon's Lentil Gift From JennaHe hurried to the organ. "Crafty old gal," he said to himself. On the stool was a red gift bag. "Ah, this must be Jenna's little present for me," he said sitting down on the stool and opening the bag. A large red envelope and something wrapped in pink tissue paper were inside. He opened the envelope, and pulled out a birthday card. Inside, Jenna had written a little rhyme.Organists are sexyNone more than youOpen your presentIt'll help you get through!Xxxx"Ha-ha," Gordon chuckled. "Well whatever is this present?" He began tearing off the tissue paper. "What's this? A torch?" He held up the plastic object, then removed the cap on the end. "Bloody hell. She's bought me one of those fleshlight sex toys!" He peered closely at the silicone vagina. "Nice cunt lips, even if they are artificial, oh wait, there's a piece of paper stuffed inside." He pulled out the note.Hello Gordon. I had this specially made for you. Now you can still put your organ pipe inside me all through Lent! P S - don't forget to use the lube!"Wow, she had a cast of her own cunt made just for me! What a great birthday present! Last year all I got was a pair of slippers from my cousin." He noticed the small bottle of clear lube in the bottom of the gift bag, but didn't pay much attention to it, being too distracted by the sex toy. His erection was straining painfully against his underpants and trousers. Despite Mrs. Wilcox still busily vacuuming the pew cushions, Gordon unzipped and pulled out his cock. He peered over the top of the organ. The old girl had her back to him and besides, you had to walk round to the side of the organ to see anything. He was safely concealed behind the instrument. She wouldn't notice him having a quick wank,"Never used a sex toy before," he muttered to himself, sticking a finger into the fleshlight. "First time for everything though. It feels really tight, let's give it a go." He attempted to slide his cock inside."God, this is really tight, oof!" He managed to slide his cock halfway in, but instantly regretted it."Bit too tight, ouch!" He tried to pull out, but his cock was fully stuck inside the toy.The realization hit him. "Shit. I should've used the lube."Gordon bit his lip, as he tried to ease the thing off this manhood, but to no avail."Oh no."Gladys the paramedicMrs. Wilcox switched off the vacuum cleaner and glanced round. She could just see the top of Gordon's head. The organ was completely silent."Is he playing with the volume turned down?" She wondered.Gordon was starting to panic. If he didn't get this toy off soon, things could become embarrassing. He didn't want to have to drive up to an emergency medical center to get it removed."Come off, damn you, come off!" He grunted."Having problems, dearie?" Mrs. Wilcox said, appearing at the side of the organ. "Oh my!"Gordon looked mortified. "Um, hello Gladys," he mumbled. "I've got a bit of a problem.""I can see that, you silly boy. What on earth have you been doing? I trust that's not an outsized organ stop?"The organist blushed crimson. "Er, no. It's not. It's a, look, it's got stuck. I can't get it off my, thing.""Let's have a look." Before he could protest, she grabbed the fleshlight and pulled on it."Oww!" Gordon yelled. "Don't yank it like that, Gladys! I don't want to end up like John Wayne Bobbitt!""Needs some lubricant or something. That should help. When I was a child, I got my father's chamber pot stuck on my head. Mother used lard to get it off.""There's a bottle of lube in that bag," Gordon winced, as his cock started to hurt.Mrs. Wilcox wasted no time, and squirted a generous amount of the clear gel on her hands, before smearing some round the base of Gordon's cock. He gave an awkward cough as her gnarled old fingers probed around his privates. He'd never be able to look this eighty-something woman in the eye again during a church service. Going to A & E would be more embarrassing, he kept telling himself. Then again, perhaps not!"Alright, let's try easing if off. Nice and slow." Mrs. Wilcox gripped the base of his cock, and with her left hand began to gently pull the fleshlight. It began to slide off. "That's it! It's coming off now! Gently does it!""Almost," Gordon said, gritting his teeth.She continued to pull and finally, the toy slid off, with a popping sound."There we are! Pop goes the weasel!" Mrs. Wilcox smiled. She handed him the offending toy."Thanks so much," Gordon gasped, relieved that his cock hadn't come to any serious harm."What a big, thick willy you've got!" Mrs. Wilcox replied. "No wonder that thing got stuck!""Er, thanks," Gordon mumbled, feeling more embarrassed than ever."No need to be shy, dearie. A man who is blessed like you shouldn't hide his light under a bushel, no! It's so much bigger than my late husband's was. Dear old Bert, he used to love it when I played with his willy. Of course that was over twenty years ago. I wish I could give yours a proper sucking, but I'd have to remove my dentures, and I've used the Poligrip, "The mention of dentures being removed was almost sufficient to make Gordon lose his erection. He was about to say something, but she continued."On the other hand, an opportunity like this doesn't come my way very often! You don't mind letting an old lady have a little bit of fun before she ends up down the cemetery or in a nursing home do you, Gordon? I'm eighty-six. My mouth is pretty much all that works these days, so that will have to do. Think of it as my reward for rescuing your phallic treasure." She dragged over a nearby kneeling bench, knelt, and motioned for Gordon to step to offer her some ‘communion'.He hadn't the heart to say no. "Um, you go ahead, Gladys." Gordon closed his eyes as she removed her false teeth. He hadn't planned on getting a gum-job from a granny. He presented His cock on the padded velvet counter of her communion kneeler. She gasped in marvel at the glorious treat laying near her covered breasts. Then took his shaft slowly in one hand, and cupped his balls with her other hand. Her eye's sparkled as she beheld the phallus. And then her mouth engulfed his cock.Grasping the base of the shaft, Mrs. Wilcox took the organist's throbbing cock in her mouth and started to move her head back and forth, taking it deeper and deeper."Oh," Gordon sighed. He leaned back, gripping the sides of the organ stool and enjoyed the wonderful sensations as she sucked his manhood. She was good, no, she was very good! This was better than he ever could've imagined. The white-haired pensioner's head continued bobbing up and down on Gordon's cock, tasting some of the pre-cum."Oh yes!" He gasped. God, it felt so good!She withdrew and licked the tip of his cock, swirling around the purple head, as her fingers softly stroked the shaft. Her old skills began to come back to her. Her head and lips moved in an erotic performance. Her tongue provided a private performance that only his cock would ever experience. And the sultry ora she exuded was masterful. This woman was a sex god that only her husband ever worshipped. And now, Gordon was added to that exclusive clan of devotees."Gladys, I'm going to come," Gordon panted. "Uh!""Then fire away, dearie! I'd love a taste!" She felt him tense and then he climaxed. With that, he filled her mouth with streams of his thick, sticky cum as it spurted to the back of her throat. Mrs. Wilcox slurped and swallowed it all. Then she pressed her nose hard against his pelvice, and his thick meat pressed her larynx.As his final spurts tapered off, she very slowly pulled her head back, until his cock flopped down on the velvet padding where Gladys' grandchildren receieved their first holy Eucarist. "Umm, tastes just as good as I remember! There we go, Gordon. I'm sure you feel better now that you've emptied your plums!" She patted his cock, before lovingly tucking it back into his briefs and trousers and zipping him up. "You know something, a fine young man like you could easily pull a lady. Why, I bet there's loads of ladies who'd jump at the chance to get their hands on you! You're such a talented organist too, and you've been divorced a long time. Oh, If I were thirty years younger."Young? She thinks I'm young? I suppose to an octogenarian, fifty-six is young."Oh, I don't want to get married again," Gordon replied, wiping his brow. "I'd prefer something, casual." He cleared his throat. "Thanks for, helping me Gladys!""Well we're all good Christians here, yes? We should help each other!" Gladys looked at where she was kneeling. “Did you know, Gordon; The Greek word for communion is ‘koinonia'. It's also the Greek word for ‘intercourse'? I'll always cherish this special treat you've shared with me.”The door of the church opened and a hulking, six-foot young man came strolling in. He was covered in tattoos and obviously a regular visitor to the gym, as his massive upper arms and shoulders proved. The man looked like he could break necks merely by flicking his finger."Gran, are you here?"Gordon froze in horror as he peered over the top of the organ. "Who the hell's that?" The man resembled Lewis Hamilton bulked up on steroids."Oh that'll be Dwaine, my grandson," Mrs. Wilcox replied. "Be with you in a minute, sweetie!" She called out. "I've just been helping Gordon to polish his organ!"A Sermon That's More Stimulating Than Usual.Reverend Morris was struggling to write his sermon. It was only the second week of Lent, but he was finding this one harder than he ever imagined. The sex ban that his wife had imposed was starting to bite. Jenna seemed to be coping much better than him, and he felt ashamed at his weakness."Help me to be strong, Lord!"Suddenly, his phone beeped. A message from Jenna.Hello Simon. It's lunch break here at work. I figured you're still home alone and maybe feeling a bit, stressed? Why not look up Write-Erotica for some inspiration?She added a winking emoji"Write-Erotica? What's that?" the vicar wondered. He eagerly opened the laptop's browser. "A site for writers of erotic fiction? Hmm. I've never heard of this before. I'm always years behind everyone else, when it comes to things. Okay, let's have a browse. I wonder if there are any naughty fictions about clergy on here?"Reverend Morris soon discovered that the tags for "priest" "vicar" and "church sex" brought up a massive number of results. He was spoilt for choice and clicked on several stories. Some were much-better written than others."Jessica and Father Andrew broke the kiss, a trail of saliva still connecting their lips together. Their mouths were still so close to each other. Jessica let out a small breath as the priest grabbed her tight little ass. "You can go inside, if you want," she told him, then she pressed her lips on his mouth again and soon enough Father Andrew's tongue was in her mouth now, not that she minded at all. They had to be very quiet because they were in the confessional booth,"Reverend Morris read out loud."But the church was empty, so why did they need to be quiet? Eh, I'm just nit picking. This is a pretty hot story!" Feeling himself getting hard, Reverend Morris unzipped his trousers and slipped a hand inside, pulling out his cock. As he continued to read, he started jacking his cock slowly.Jessica unzipped the priest's pants, ‘oh yes,' he said. He began to moan and groan as he continued pleasuring himself.Her sweet, heavenly lips worshipped his holy shaft in ways he never imagined,It felt so wonderful jerking his throbbing cock whilst reading this erotic fic. Reverend Morris began to move his hips around and his legs straightened out under the desk. Soon he laid his head back and stretched his body further. Next thing he know, he let out a rather loud, "Oh, yes, yes that's it!" and started to cum.His milky fluid spurted out and all over his laptop keyboard."Ah,"Write-Erotica had done its work and provided Reverend Morris with some much-needed relief, as well as inspiration."I still don't know what to write about for my sermon, but I'd love to have a go at writing an erotic story just for Jenna," he smiled, getting some wet wipes and cleaning up his keyboard. "I've never tried writing erotica before, but first time for everything! Maybe we could write a chain story or something, and get it finished just before Easter? That could be fun!"Excited by this new idea, the vicar opened a new Word document and began typing away."I'll just write a few paragraphs of smut and then I must finish my sermon!" At the Sunday Eucharist,Reverend Morris was joined by another vicar, who was standing in for Josh the curate, who was attending a conference in Birmingham, as part of his ongoing religious training."A very warm welcome to everyone this morning," Reverend Morris began, addressing the congregation. "As we continue our journey through Lent, I'd like to introduce Reverend Jones from St. Wilfrid's church in Manchester. It's a great honor for her to be here today - she'll be reading the sermon I've been laboring over all week,""Poor woman," someone in the congregation muttered, leading to some muffled sniggers.While the vicar was talking, Gordon was idly peering over the top of the organ. He noticed Jenna sat in the front pew and winked at her. Moments later, Mrs. Wilcox, who was sat next to her, winked back at him and gave him a little wave. Gordon gave an awkward smile and shrunk back behind the organ,"Without further ado, I shall now hand over to Reverend Jones," Reverend Morris said.The vicar of St. Wilfrid's was a dumpy, bespectacled woman, aged about fifty, with grey hair in a bowl cut."Looks like the identical twin of that MP woman," an old man muttered. "What's her name? Therese, something. She's the secretary of state.""No idea," another old man replied. "Oh wait a minute! I know who you mean. Norman Lamont! I thought those eyebrows looked familiar,""No you daft git, he's a bloke!""That vicar looks like a lass to me. Mind you, one can't tell these days,"Reverend Jones stepped up to the pulpit and placed some papers on the book stand."I haven't had a sneak-peek at this sermon," she began. "So it will be a wonderful surprise for me as well as you. I'm sure Reverend Morris has gone the extra mile, as he usually does, and written something that'll make us all think."Reverend Morris gave a proud smile as he looked up at her.Gordon gave a subtle yawn. He always dreaded this part of the service. Reverend Morris had the ability to cure insomnia with his sermons, despite Jenna's best efforts to inject a bit more fun into them,"They say the Devil makes work for idle hands," Reverend Jones said, as she began reading the sermon. "That's a phrase we're all familiar with. This morning, I woke up, and my hands were rotting in idleness. My mind had been drifting to places, sinful places all week. I wouldn't say I'm a regular user of PornHub but," she paused.A look of horror appeared on Reverend Morris' face. "That isn't my sermon," he said to himself. "Oh no,"In the pews, there were a couple of awkward coughs and raised eyebrows. At the organ, Gordon suddenly perked up. This had to be the first time ever that the word PornHub was mentioned in a sermon!"The site just wasn't doing it for me," Reverend Jones continued, "so I decided to go for a walk in the park. I can't tell you how my spirits were instantly lifted. Light was filtering through the trees. It was golden and bright. How blessed we are that God has made all this for us, I thought, and then something in the bushes caught my eye. There was no-one else around. It was then that I saw her, naked as Eve in the Garden of Eden, about to take a dip in the lake. Her sweetly, up-tilted bare breasts reflected the glorious morning aura and her rose-pink nipples were as full and hard as ripe apples,"Reverend Jones paused. "What an excellent use of adjectives. I'm sure we can just imagine this scene in our heads can't we?"Never had the congregation of St, Michael's been so engrossed by a sermon before!"Not half," someone said out loud.Poor Reverend Morris' face had flooded several shades of red. He stood up and hurried to the pulpit."Angela, that's not the sermon I wrote!" He mumbled, begging her to stop."I've started, so I'll finish," she replied. "Everyone seems to be enjoying this.""Her name was Giselle, and she loved to unburden herself and swim in the lake. Freed from her clothes, I watched her in the nude and was convinced I was seeing the embodiment of an angel. She knew I watching, and she knew I liked to watch. I knew she liked me to watch, but this morning, we decided to do more than watch.""How romantic," Mrs. Wilcox said, turning to Jenna. "Your husband has a fine turn of phrase. It's better than his usual sermons, dearie. You should encourage him to write more like this. This church will soon be packed to the rafters if he keeps this up!""Oh, thanks very much!" Jenna replied innocently. She gazed at poor Reverend Morris, who was squirming with embarrassment at the side of the pulpit. He'd mixed up his sermon with some erotic fic, did he write the fic himself or find it online? She was curious to find out."What could be more divine than seeing a beautiful woman naked in a park?" Reverend Jones continued, reading out the story without a care in the world. "Personally, I think Tom Hiddleston naked in a park would be more divine, but that's just my opinion, ""I shouldn't say such things as I'm in a church, but I wouldn't mind seeing the organist naked," Mrs. Wilcox whispered to Jenna, who did a double take. This was one of those rare occasions when even she was left speechless for a few moments!"Really Gladys! You dark horse. Didn't know you had the hots for Gordon!""Just because there's snow on the roof, doesn't mean the fire's gone out!" the old lady replied."Oh this next paragraph has been all scribbled out," Reverend Jones said. She flipped the page over."My pearly-white ejaculate looked perfect dripping off her pink-nosed puppies. I got some on my hand and remember being surprised that it was so hot. I pulled my cassock off and wiped the cum off my hand with it. I walked home that night with a huge smile on my face and love bites on my little reverend."Reverend Morris snatched the papers off the book stand. "Er, my sincere apologies everyone, I made a terrible mistake!""Such a shame, it was building up to a nice conclusion," Reverend Jones said."No, that wasn't my sermon at all. I, I have no idea how that piece of writing ended up mixed up with my church papers!""Dat some good shit right there, Vicar!" Tony the reformed drug addict said, standing up and clapping.The flustered vicar attempted to move on. "Hymn, let's all stand for the hymn! Lo, He Comes With Clouds Descending!""You know something Simon," Reverend Jones said as she headed down the pulpit steps, "you need to get yourself signed up to an adult fiction site. You have talent. I'm on A o 3 myself - under a pseudonym of course. I like writing slash fanfiction about British politicians, I can send you a link if you're interested in reading them?""Er, no thanks, Angela. I'm sure they're very good, but I prefer to avoid anything relating to politics!"To be continued in part 2.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

  PODFEST EXPO is the longest-running annual, in-person podcasting conference in the world. Returning in 2025 for an unprecedented 11th consecutive year, PODFEST has been on a wild ride of unbridled growth from its humble beginnings in 2015 to now. www.podfestexpo.com   JIN SHIN JYUTSU  www.healthkeepersunited.com/self-help-with-jin-shin Boost Your Best Self-Friend Discount Offer An Art of Self-Help WHAT IS JIN SHIN JYUTSU® ? Jin Shin Jyutsu® is a gentle and nurturing healing art that helps restore balance and harmony by using light touch on specific energy points along the body. Rooted in ancient wisdom, it works with the natural flow of energy within us, supporting physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. By simply holding your hands in specific positions!   WINE PAIRING and vegetarian dishes  Lentil soup or any bean based soup as black bean soup are perfect for the malbec, syrah and another varietal carmenere: Malbec Finca Abril $111.99, Anne Pichon Syrah/ Grenache $15.99, Vina Echeverria Gran Reservera $12.99- $18.00,    CONTACT VALERIE  Valerie Hail www.allinourminds.com valerie@allinourminds.com

GET RUTHLESS ABOUT TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT Start with listening to better NEWS SOURCES THAT DON'T ACCEPT ADVERTISING. In my previous podcast "NEWS SOURCES THAT WILL MAKE YOU SMART. NOT MAKE YOU DUMB,"  there are four links to different news sources that provide valuable information for those who are committed to defending our democracy, voting rights and a PLAYBOOK to end this stupid division within our country . The first SMART NEWS SERVICE IS:   BELLE OF THE RANCH https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxygE3pKLK67N59Lo_-wpaBtFcTesebGrU?si=  ( A SHORT BACK STORY) This YouTube channel was started by her husband BEAU OF THE FIFTH COLUMN  Beau of The Fifth Column main Youtube channel:    / beauofthefifthcolumn   THIS IS RESEARCH DRIVEN, NON PARTISAN information. Beau was creating three episodes a day which is unimaginable to me as I know they research everything they discuss on their channel. Beau decided it was time to change his life and pass the reins to Belle, his wife.She is KILLING IT. HERE is another recent episode where  she explains that POLITICS have an immense IMPACT to our lives, businesses and friends: https://youtu.be/4cKR-x2F4II?si=rX1CIZknp10Jzn7x Here are two ways to CALM YOURSELF: and build a strong IMMUNITY JIN SHIN JYUTSU  www.healthkeepersunited.com/self-help-with-jin-shin Boost Your Best Self-Friend Discount Offer An Art of Self-Help WHAT IS JIN SHIN JYUTSU® ? Jin Shin Jyutsu® is a gentle and nurturing healing art that helps restore balance and harmony by using light touch on specific energy points along the body. Rooted in ancient wisdom, it works with the natural flow of energy within us, supporting physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. By simply holding your hands in specific positions!   WINE PAIRING and vegetarian dishes  Lentil soup or any bean based soup as black bean soup are perfect for the malbec, syrah and another varietal carmenere: Malbec Finca Abril $111.99, Anne Pichon Syrah/ Grenache $15.99, Vina Echeverria Gran Reservera $12.99- $18.00,    CONTACT VALERIE  Valerie Hail www.allinourminds.com valerie@allinourminds.com

This is Lunchtime Live's Big Batch. Every Monday we'll be learning new easy to cook batch recipes to keep you eating well. No more staring into an open fridge looking for inspiration!This week, Paul Knapp, aka @official_firefightingchef on Instagram, joins Andrea to discuss his recipe for ‘Lentil Mother Sauce', which you can use for many meals!

Arthur Schwartz was the restaurant critic and executive food editor of the New York Daily News for 18 years. Perhaps what he's best known for is as a chameleon—he's successfully worked in radio, print media, cookbook publishing, TV, and teaching.

Arthur Schwartz was the restaurant critic and executive food editor of the New York Daily News for 18 years. Perhaps what he's best known for is as a chameleon—he's successfully worked in radio, print media, cookbook publishing, TV, and teaching.

Arthur Schwartz was the restaurant critic and executive food editor of the New York Daily News for 18 years. Perhaps what he's best known for is as a chameleon—he's successfully worked in radio, print media, cookbook publishing, TV, and teaching.

But she finds new Uses For Old Organ Pipes.A series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.  The third Sunday of Lent had arrived. Reverend Morris was counting down the days until Easter in the same way a prisoner counts down the days until their release. He was dreading today's morning Eucharist after the embarrassment of last week."I still can't believe I was stupid enough to mix up that erotic story with my sermon!" He exclaimed. "Why did I print it out?""Ah relax, Simon. It was a fantastic first attempt, and that vicar from Manchester seemed to enjoy it!" Jenna replied, making herself a coffee."Yes I know but, well I suppose you're right. Nobody made a complaint. I'm just glad the youth & children were already dismissed to their classes. I'd have had a load of outraged parents begging for me to be defrocked!""No damage done," Jenna smiled. "And you truly do have hidden talents. I had no idea you were so good at writing erotica. You should try it again sometime!"This Sunday's service passed without incident, and most of the congregation were no doubt disappointed that the vicar's sermon had returned to its familiar, boring self. Afterwards, Gordon peered over the top of the organ and smiled as he noticed Jenna."Morning!" He said."Hello Gordon!" Jenna replied. "How are you getting on with, you know?" She winked."Ah that," he laughed. "You weren't kidding when you said use lots of lube, were you? It's fun, but," Gordon lowered his voice. "It doesn't match up to you. I miss our organ lessons.""Me too. We're halfway through Lent. Stay strong. You'll get through it!""I'll try my best! Oh, are these of any interest to you or Simon?" He handed her two tin organ pipes, one smaller than the other. "I know you're into arts and crafts. Thought you might have some use for these. Some of the old pipes have been replaced.""These are nice!" Jenna said, holding up the pipes. "Great condition.""They make great wall ornaments. I see loads of them for sale on eBay. Some go for really high prices.""I'll see if I can get creative. It'll be a fun spring project for me. Thanks Gordon! Oh before I forget, you couldn't do a favor for a member of the church, could you?""Certainly!""Gladys asked if you could call round and fix a new door handle on her kitchen door. I know you're really good at D I Y; you fitted new wall sockets in the church hall."The organist's face fell. "Um, oh right. Yes. I'm sure I can.""Great! She'll be thrilled. Right, I'd better get going. Simon's taking Christopher out for some father-son time, so I'll be home alone. I'll see if I can get creative with these old organ pipes!"Gordon gulped. The thought of calling round to see Mrs. Wilcox terrified him."My God, the old girl will pounce on me like a lioness ambushing a gazelle!" He noticed the churchwarden heading up the aisle. "Norman! Could you do me a favor?"Jenna arrived back at the vicarage, wondering how to spend the rest of the afternoon. She looked carefully at the two organ pipes, running a finger down the smooth, dull metal."Hmm, this larger one, it could be just the right size!"Up in the bedroom, Jenna lifted her skirt and pulled her panties down to the floor and stepped out of them. Feeling horny, she imagined Gordon walking in and catching her with her legs spread with an organ pipe buried deep in her cunt. The larger pipe measured about 11" long from pointed tip to end of the tapering foot. She remembered what Gordon had told her about organ pipes.Flue pipes are also known as labial pipes. The foot is the bottom portion of the pipe, usually conical. At its base is the toe hole, through which wind enters it."Ooh yeah." Jenna reached between her legs and discovered that she was already dripping wet. She fingered her cunt and clit. Damn, she needed to be filled. She took her time greasing up the organ pipe until it was dripping lubricant."Ah!" Jenna began sliding the pipe into her well-lubed cunt, one leisurely inch at a time. When she'd taken about six inches inside, she began slowly pushing it in and out, coating the pipe with her juices.Her fingers rubbed her clit softly and covered it in her essence. The pressure and speed of her fingers built. She imagined Gordon's thick fingers deep inside her, whilst she lay naked on the organ stool in the church,Jenna wanted more, wanted it harder. She increased her speed and moved the organ pipe in and out faster. Suddenly, her whole body tensed, the sweet feelings of ecstasy were almost torture. She need to come but wanted the pleasure to last longer. She was almost there, almost tipping over the edge of orgasm. She pushed the pipe still deeper into her womanhood, then reached for the smaller one,Norman's SubmissionNorman Winstanley turned into Rosebay Gardens, the quaint little cul-de-sac where Mrs. Wilcox lived."Nice place for old folk," he mused, parking up in front of the small bungalow. He picked up the small tool bag, headed up the drive and knocked on the door.Glancing round, he was amused by the pair of garden gnomes on the front lawn. They were dressed in bondage gear.The front door opened and Mrs. Wilcox appeared. "Oh, hello Norman! What are you doing here?""Here to fix your kitchen door, my dear!" Norman replied. "Gordon sends his apologies but something came up.""Dearie me," the old lady replied, not fooled for a moment. "Oh well, you'll do nicely! Right this way!" She ushered him inside and gave his arse cheeks a squeeze.Norman raised an eyebrow, but ignored her actions. After all, the old bird was eighty-six."God, this feels so amazing!" Jenna gasped as she thrust the small organ pipe up her arsehole. She moaned loudly, her cunt pulsing hard around the larger organ pipe. Her whole body shook with the force of her orgasm."Fuck, yes!" The vicar's wife screamed out as she found a new use for the old organ pipes."Don't forget to polish the sideboard, dearie!" Mrs. Wilcox smiled as Norman entered the living room and brought her a glass of sherry. He was naked apart from a frilly apron."Right you are, Gladys," the churchwarden replied. This was more of a thrill than he ever imagined.And here I was worrying how I'd survive six weeks without sex from the vicar's wife! He thought."Norman!" Mrs. Wilcox snapped. "I asked for a schooner! This glass isn't a schooner! I'm afraid I'll have to discipline you. Turn around at once!"Norman did as she asked and she struck his bare buttocks with a riding crop."Ouch!""You're a very naughty boy!" Mrs. Wilcox said. "What are you?""I'm a very naughty boy!" Norman replied.Jenna Breaks Her Lent Vow, In Order To Aid The Bishop.Bishop George lay in a hospital bed between sleep and vague drowsiness. He was hot, frustrated and uncomfortable. Waiting. Waiting for the nurses to bring him food. Waiting for them to change him. He loathed being dependent on others like this. He'd always gone his own way, not caring whom he offended. Then again he was lucky to be alive, and boredom and frustration were the least of his worries. His leg had been reset, but he was very much troubled by the thought of infection developing.Bishop George closed his eyes and wondered if he'd be well enough to attend the Easter service at St Michael's Church. He'd been looking forward to it for ages, and it was only two weeks away. Reverend Morris had just departed, having spent an hour with him. The visit had lifted the bishop's spirits and he was thankful for the vicar's kind words."That bloody cyclist! He shouldn't have been on the pavement in the first place!"He'd been walking down the street and had been sent flying when a careless cyclist had crashed right into him. His right leg had been broken in three places. It had been a terrible ordeal, but he didn't expect to remain in hospital for long. You were soon booted out these days.Bishop George sighed. He wasn't looking forward to his sister Anne, coming to care for him whilst he recovered. Anne was notoriously bossy.Meanwhile, back at St Michael's Vicarage, Jenna sipped a coffee and idly ran her finger down the cup."Poor George," she said, as Reverend Morris returned from visiting him in the hospital. "You know something, why don't we let him stay with us while he recovers? We have two spare bedrooms, one for when Christopher stays over, but the smaller room would be ideal for George. It's got a foldaway bed."Reverend Morris thought for a moment. "You're absolutely right, Jen. You're a true Christian. The Bishop has been very good to me since I took over at St Michael's. We could provide all the care he needs. Whilst his sister might mean well, she's a rather, fierce individual!""I only met her once. She scared me!" Jenna admitted.The vicar nodded. "Besides, having him staying with us will help keep my mind off, er, you know. I've been struggling recently with what we've given up for Lent."Jenna smiled. "I know Simon. You've done really well. Not much longer now. When Easter comes, He will rise, I'm not just talking about Jesus, by the way,"Reverend Morris bit his lip. "He might be rising already, Oh! I can't wait to have sex again, must restrain myself. Right, I'll go call George, and prepare the spare bedroom for him."The bishop was more than delighted when Reverend Morris arrived to collect him from the hospital, the next day."You're quite sure about this, Simon?" He said as the vicar pushed his wheelchair down the aisle. "I don't want to be a burden to you and Jenna. Busy weeks ahead for you, what with Holy Week and so on. And your son, doesn't he stay over on Fridays?""Think nothing of it, George. We have two spare bedrooms at the vicarage. There's room for everyone. Jenna and I are glad to have you staying with us. It'll be peace of mind knowing that you'll be safe and well-looked after."Bishop George smirked to himself. He was definitely looking forward to perhaps getting some special therapy off Jenna. He remembered the little birthday ceremony he'd taken part in just before Christmas,"Must say, I'm glad to be out of that hospital," he muttered, as he was helped into the car. "The bloke in the bed next to me, he lay there for two hours before someone realized he was dead. Poor sod. I said a few prayers for him.""That's awful," Reverend Morris replied. “But on the bright side, the soul enjoyed a very prompt wake, with no less than the bishop presiding!”George finally chuckled at the realization of his good service.Changing the subject, Simon added; "Well hopefully, you'll find the vicarage a lot more relaxing, and our meals a lot more edible. We both enjoy cooking."He drove out of the hospital car park and headed for the motorway. "The nursing staff said you were a difficult patient." Simon probed."I see. Quite the compliment." Bishop George said. "I'm sure they were exaggerating. Any news from church?" Is Jenna still learning to play the organ?"The traffic noise was loud, as rush hour was approaching."Oh yes! She's made remarkable progress there. Gordon is a fantastic teacher. She's of a good enough standard to stand in for him, on the rare occasions he isn't able to do the Sunday service.""I'm sure," he replied.She is very talented indeed at playing a man's organ too!

But she finds new Uses For Old Organ Pipes.A series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.  The third Sunday of Lent had arrived. Reverend Morris was counting down the days until Easter in the same way a prisoner counts down the days until their release. He was dreading today's morning Eucharist after the embarrassment of last week."I still can't believe I was stupid enough to mix up that erotic story with my sermon!" He exclaimed. "Why did I print it out?""Ah relax, Simon. It was a fantastic first attempt, and that vicar from Manchester seemed to enjoy it!" Jenna replied, making herself a coffee."Yes I know but, well I suppose you're right. Nobody made a complaint. I'm just glad the youth & children were already dismissed to their classes. I'd have had a load of outraged parents begging for me to be defrocked!""No damage done," Jenna smiled. "And you truly do have hidden talents. I had no idea you were so good at writing erotica. You should try it again sometime!"This Sunday's service passed without incident, and most of the congregation were no doubt disappointed that the vicar's sermon had returned to its familiar, boring self. Afterwards, Gordon peered over the top of the organ and smiled as he noticed Jenna."Morning!" He said."Hello Gordon!" Jenna replied. "How are you getting on with, you know?" She winked."Ah that," he laughed. "You weren't kidding when you said use lots of lube, were you? It's fun, but," Gordon lowered his voice. "It doesn't match up to you. I miss our organ lessons.""Me too. We're halfway through Lent. Stay strong. You'll get through it!""I'll try my best! Oh, are these of any interest to you or Simon?" He handed her two tin organ pipes, one smaller than the other. "I know you're into arts and crafts. Thought you might have some use for these. Some of the old pipes have been replaced.""These are nice!" Jenna said, holding up the pipes. "Great condition.""They make great wall ornaments. I see loads of them for sale on eBay. Some go for really high prices.""I'll see if I can get creative. It'll be a fun spring project for me. Thanks Gordon! Oh before I forget, you couldn't do a favor for a member of the church, could you?""Certainly!""Gladys asked if you could call round and fix a new door handle on her kitchen door. I know you're really good at D I Y; you fitted new wall sockets in the church hall."The organist's face fell. "Um, oh right. Yes. I'm sure I can.""Great! She'll be thrilled. Right, I'd better get going. Simon's taking Christopher out for some father-son time, so I'll be home alone. I'll see if I can get creative with these old organ pipes!"Gordon gulped. The thought of calling round to see Mrs. Wilcox terrified him."My God, the old girl will pounce on me like a lioness ambushing a gazelle!" He noticed the churchwarden heading up the aisle. "Norman! Could you do me a favor?"Jenna arrived back at the vicarage, wondering how to spend the rest of the afternoon. She looked carefully at the two organ pipes, running a finger down the smooth, dull metal."Hmm, this larger one, it could be just the right size!"Up in the bedroom, Jenna lifted her skirt and pulled her panties down to the floor and stepped out of them. Feeling horny, she imagined Gordon walking in and catching her with her legs spread with an organ pipe buried deep in her cunt. The larger pipe measured about 11" long from pointed tip to end of the tapering foot. She remembered what Gordon had told her about organ pipes.Flue pipes are also known as labial pipes. The foot is the bottom portion of the pipe, usually conical. At its base is the toe hole, through which wind enters it."Ooh yeah." Jenna reached between her legs and discovered that she was already dripping wet. She fingered her cunt and clit. Damn, she needed to be filled. She took her time greasing up the organ pipe until it was dripping lubricant."Ah!" Jenna began sliding the pipe into her well-lubed cunt, one leisurely inch at a time. When she'd taken about six inches inside, she began slowly pushing it in and out, coating the pipe with her juices.Her fingers rubbed her clit softly and covered it in her essence. The pressure and speed of her fingers built. She imagined Gordon's thick fingers deep inside her, whilst she lay naked on the organ stool in the church,Jenna wanted more, wanted it harder. She increased her speed and moved the organ pipe in and out faster. Suddenly, her whole body tensed, the sweet feelings of ecstasy were almost torture. She need to come but wanted the pleasure to last longer. She was almost there, almost tipping over the edge of orgasm. She pushed the pipe still deeper into her womanhood, then reached for the smaller one,Norman's SubmissionNorman Winstanley turned into Rosebay Gardens, the quaint little cul-de-sac where Mrs. Wilcox lived."Nice place for old folk," he mused, parking up in front of the small bungalow. He picked up the small tool bag, headed up the drive and knocked on the door.Glancing round, he was amused by the pair of garden gnomes on the front lawn. They were dressed in bondage gear.The front door opened and Mrs. Wilcox appeared. "Oh, hello Norman! What are you doing here?""Here to fix your kitchen door, my dear!" Norman replied. "Gordon sends his apologies but something came up.""Dearie me," the old lady replied, not fooled for a moment. "Oh well, you'll do nicely! Right this way!" She ushered him inside and gave his arse cheeks a squeeze.Norman raised an eyebrow, but ignored her actions. After all, the old bird was eighty-six."God, this feels so amazing!" Jenna gasped as she thrust the small organ pipe up her arsehole. She moaned loudly, her cunt pulsing hard around the larger organ pipe. Her whole body shook with the force of her orgasm."Fuck, yes!" The vicar's wife screamed out as she found a new use for the old organ pipes."Don't forget to polish the sideboard, dearie!" Mrs. Wilcox smiled as Norman entered the living room and brought her a glass of sherry. He was naked apart from a frilly apron."Right you are, Gladys," the churchwarden replied. This was more of a thrill than he ever imagined.And here I was worrying how I'd survive six weeks without sex from the vicar's wife! He thought."Norman!" Mrs. Wilcox snapped. "I asked for a schooner! This glass isn't a schooner! I'm afraid I'll have to discipline you. Turn around at once!"Norman did as she asked and she struck his bare buttocks with a riding crop."Ouch!""You're a very naughty boy!" Mrs. Wilcox said. "What are you?""I'm a very naughty boy!" Norman replied.Jenna Breaks Her Lent Vow, In Order To Aid The Bishop.Bishop George lay in a hospital bed between sleep and vague drowsiness. He was hot, frustrated and uncomfortable. Waiting. Waiting for the nurses to bring him food. Waiting for them to change him. He loathed being dependent on others like this. He'd always gone his own way, not caring whom he offended. Then again he was lucky to be alive, and boredom and frustration were the least of his worries. His leg had been reset, but he was very much troubled by the thought of infection developing.Bishop George closed his eyes and wondered if he'd be well enough to attend the Easter service at St Michael's Church. He'd been looking forward to it for ages, and it was only two weeks away. Reverend Morris had just departed, having spent an hour with him. The visit had lifted the bishop's spirits and he was thankful for the vicar's kind words."That bloody cyclist! He shouldn't have been on the pavement in the first place!"He'd been walking down the street and had been sent flying when a careless cyclist had crashed right into him. His right leg had been broken in three places. It had been a terrible ordeal, but he didn't expect to remain in hospital for long. You were soon booted out these days.Bishop George sighed. He wasn't looking forward to his sister Anne, coming to care for him whilst he recovered. Anne was notoriously bossy.Meanwhile, back at St Michael's Vicarage, Jenna sipped a coffee and idly ran her finger down the cup."Poor George," she said, as Reverend Morris returned from visiting him in the hospital. "You know something, why don't we let him stay with us while he recovers? We have two spare bedrooms, one for when Christopher stays over, but the smaller room would be ideal for George. It's got a foldaway bed."Reverend Morris thought for a moment. "You're absolutely right, Jen. You're a true Christian. The Bishop has been very good to me since I took over at St Michael's. We could provide all the care he needs. Whilst his sister might mean well, she's a rather, fierce individual!""I only met her once. She scared me!" Jenna admitted.The vicar nodded. "Besides, having him staying with us will help keep my mind off, er, you know. I've been struggling recently with what we've given up for Lent."Jenna smiled. "I know Simon. You've done really well. Not much longer now. When Easter comes, He will rise, I'm not just talking about Jesus, by the way,"Reverend Morris bit his lip. "He might be rising already, Oh! I can't wait to have sex again, must restrain myself. Right, I'll go call George, and prepare the spare bedroom for him."The bishop was more than delighted when Reverend Morris arrived to collect him from the hospital, the next day."You're quite sure about this, Simon?" He said as the vicar pushed his wheelchair down the aisle. "I don't want to be a burden to you and Jenna. Busy weeks ahead for you, what with Holy Week and so on. And your son, doesn't he stay over on Fridays?""Think nothing of it, George. We have two spare bedrooms at the vicarage. There's room for everyone. Jenna and I are glad to have you staying with us. It'll be peace of mind knowing that you'll be safe and well-looked after."Bishop George smirked to himself. He was definitely looking forward to perhaps getting some special therapy off Jenna. He remembered the little birthday ceremony he'd taken part in just before Christmas,"Must say, I'm glad to be out of that hospital," he muttered, as he was helped into the car. "The bloke in the bed next to me, he lay there for two hours before someone realized he was dead. Poor sod. I said a few prayers for him.""That's awful," Reverend Morris replied. “But on the bright side, the soul enjoyed a very prompt wake, with no less than the bishop presiding!”George finally chuckled at the realization of his good service.Changing the subject, Simon added; "Well hopefully, you'll find the vicarage a lot more relaxing, and our meals a lot more edible. We both enjoy cooking."He drove out of the hospital car park and headed for the motorway. "The nursing staff said you were a difficult patient." Simon probed."I see. Quite the compliment." Bishop George said. "I'm sure they were exaggerating. Any news from church?" Is Jenna still learning to play the organ?"The traffic noise was loud, as rush hour was approaching."Oh yes! She's made remarkable progress there. Gordon is a fantastic teacher. She's of a good enough standard to stand in for him, on the rare occasions he isn't able to do the Sunday service.""I'm sure," he replied.She is very talented indeed at playing a man's organ too!

Vicar's wife, Jenna, decides to give up sex for Lent!A series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.  The Jenna series started  with ‘Jenna Goes To Church', followed shortly after with ‘Jenna, the Vicar's Wife'. It resumed recently with Jenna's New Year'; and now it continues with a Lentil 2-part story. Other episodes will follow.It was the last Sunday of Shrovetide, known as Quinquagesima. At St. Michael's Church, Reverend Morris had amassed a pile of old palm crosses, intending to burn them on Ash Wednesday."Shouldn't be long before the first members of the faithful arrive," he said to his wife Jenna, who was adjusting the flowers at the side of the pulpit."Oh before I forget, I've got something for you to burn on Ash Wednesday," she smiled, handing him a pair of her panties."This is an unusual-looking palm cross!" He replied. "I think I'd better burn this separately from the others! Is there some reason why you want your undies reduced to ash?""Well Simon, I've been thinking. And I've finally decided what I'm going to give up for Lent.""You're giving up wearing underwear?""Ha-ha. Tempting, but no. I'm giving up sex."Reverend Morris almost dropped the box full of crosses. "What? Sex? No, you can't be serious!"Jenna nodded. "I'm 100% serious, my love. Lent is supposed to be hard, and you're always going on about how part of being a good Christian is making sacrifices and so on. It's traditionally a time of fasting and abstaining from something to repent and focus our hearts and minds on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.""Yes, but within reason, Jen! I don't expect you to suffer hardship as bad as that!""I can do it, Simon. I'm committed to seeing it through. It's only forty days.""B-but, that's six weeks!" the vicar whined, looking as if his entire world was about to end. "I, I'm not sure I can, er, go without for so long!""Now Simon, you're a man of God. You're stronger than most. I know you can do this. And just think how wonderful it will be when Easter comes, everything in calf, bursting out in spring glory, sap rising, mating seasons beginning, shoots thrusting upwards, days getting longer, ""Vicars dying of horniness, " Reverend Morris sighed."Exactly. And it won't just be you going without. The other chaps of this church will have to go without as well!""Oh my goodness, Jenna. There's going to be a lot of frustration building up in this church! When you say no sex, does that mean, ""No physical contact whatsoever, my dearest! No blowjobs, no kissing, no cock in cunt, nada! Just like social distancing."Reverend Morris' lip was trembling. "Not even a kiss?""Nope. I'll be sleeping in the spare bedroom until Easter. I can blow you a kiss. And whilst we can't do anything involving physical contact, there are other naughty ways we can get through Lent.""Like what?""Use your imagination, Simon!"He thought for a moment. "So I'll have to make do with dating Rosie Palms until Easter?""If it helps you cope, yes!"The reverend took a deep breath. "You're absolutely right, Jenna. I can get through this. I admire you so much for deciding to have a sex ban. In fact, I think I love you even more, and I didn't think that possible!""Aww. Ditto." She kissed him. "We'll make the most of Shrove Tuesday," she added, with a wink. "I'm going to do some creative things with pancakes."He slipped his arms around her. "Remember that morning after the Candlemas service, when we got soaking wet in the rain and we just ravished each other once we got back to the vicarage?""Hee hee, yes. Or that time last month during that short holiday in Lincolnshire when we stayed in that weird hotel, and the ghost gatecrashed our passion?""Bit early in the morning for that, isn't it? Then again, I'm not complaining!" A voice shouted, and they both looked round. Gordon the organist had just arrived.Moments later, Josh the curate appeared."Morning guys!" Jenna smiled. She turned back to her husband. "You'd better get your robes on. Looks like some of the congregation are here already. I'll go and hand out some hymn books."He nodded and headed off to the vestry. "Forty days," he sighed. "God, .I will really need your help through this difficult time!"And just how were some of the other male members of St. Michael's Church going to cope for forty days without any 'spiritual guidance' from the vicar's wife?Shrove Tuesday (the eve of Lent)On Shrove Tuesday, Jenna spent all afternoon mixing pancake batter. It would've been quicker to buy some ready-made pancakes from Tesco, but where was the fun in that? She looked at the kitchen wall clock."Come on Simon, you're late. How long does a meeting with the Bishop take?"Her husband had been out all day. At last, she heard his car pull up on the drive."Good. Now the fun begins."The front door opened and Reverend Morris came rushing in. "Sorry I've been so long. Bishop George kept prattling on for ages and then coming back home there's been a road accident so I had to take the long way home, oh I see you've been busy!" He noticed his wife was completely naked except for an apron."Welcome home," she smirked. "It's time to flip some pancakes. Is my randy reverend able to provide some batter?"He licked his lips. "What sort of batter would you be requiring?""Hmm, let's see. That special 'anointing oil' you used during my 21st birthday?" She whirled a frying pan in her hand and flipped a pancake. "Here's one I prepared earlier."His hands found her shoulders, and turned her to face him. His hands moved up to cup her face and Jenna felt his lips close around hers in a tender kiss. She returned it with rising passion, slipping her tongue into his mouth. As their tongues danced, Jenna quickly unfastened her apron, letting it slide down over her smooth skin to the kitchen floor.She could hear Reverend Morris unfastening his own garments, and when he embraced her tightly, she felt his bare skin press against hers with delicious warmth. Her husband's mouth left her lips, trailing down her neck to her chest. He took a nipple in his mouth and teased the erect tip. It was perhaps the upcoming sex ban enhancing his senses, but Jenna's breasts had never felt so full, and had never tasted so sweet. His hands roamed down over her arse, savoring her curves.Reverend Morris moved back up her body, his lips playing over her breasts, then back up her neck. Jenna's hands slid down his chest and at last reached their goal. She gripped his throbbing member, took a few steps backward, pulling gently but firmly, and he promptly followed her. She felt the edge of the kitchen countertop meet her lower back, and she swiftly heaved herself on to the cool granite surface and lay back, spreading her legs.Reverend Morris had a sudden urge to taste his wife; his tongue met with her soft skin just above her clit, then down into her folds, tasting, discovering and exploring all that she had to offer. He began to suck and lick her clit. How he loved to worship at this altar.Jenna reached for the bowl of pancake batter. A wooden spoon was sticking out of the bowl. Without hesitation, she began spooning the batter down her breasts."It tastes alright," she murmured, placing a blob of batter on her husband's nose. "But it needs an extra ingredient, ""Umm, I think I can help you there.""Fuck me religiously, darling." Jenna said hoarsely.A pair of strong, silky legs wrapped around the vicar's arse. He lowered himself onto her and felt those glorious batter-coated breasts rub against his chest as he began thrusting into her. He tried to set a steady, leisurely pace to begin, but the legs around him urged him on faster and harder. Reverend Morris responded with enthusiasm, and within moments he was pounding into his wife with all his strength, mindful that after tonight he wouldn't be able to do this for six weeks."Yes, yes, oh my God yes, I've never felt anything like it!" Jenna moaned."Bloody hell, I'm coming, oh Jenna!" Reverend Morris yelled as his stream of hot cum filled up her cunt and flowed back out onto the kitchen countertop.Jenna lay back on the countertop, eyes closed. It was several minutes before her breathing had calmed enough for her to speak."Did I provide enough batter?" Reverend Morris asked."Your holy offering was more than generous!""Forty days without from this moment on. You've still time to change your mind.""I'm sticking to it, Simon. We'll get through Lent. We'll have to think up some creative contactless ways to get our rocks off."The smell of burning interrupted them. They both glanced at the stove. To Jenna's dismay, the pancake she'd been cooking had been virtually cremated in the frying pan."Oh dear," she said, gazing at the remains of the pancake, which now resembled a lump of coal."Now that's what I call a perfect burnt offering for Ash Wednesday!" Reverend Morris replied.The Organist is Entertained.Gordon Leesmith always looked forward to Thursday evening arriving. This was when he had organ practice at church, and for the past few months he'd been teaching Jenna to play the organ. These lessons were really just an excuse for a passionate romp with the stunning vicar's wife, who was always more than willing to get her hands on the organ in his trousers, rather than the church one.Gordon hummed to himself as he brewed himself a cup of tea. He checked the time. It was only just after midday. Six hours to go. He was impatient and horny, but in a very happy mood. He'd just returned from seeing his Primary Care physician. That in itself something of a miracle in modern Britain; and received good news. His benign prostate enlargement wasn't as bad as he'd feared. Despite being a bit overweight, the doctor had given him a clean bill of health. His blood pressure was low, and so was his cholesterol.Today was his birthday. He was fifty six. A year ago, Gordon had been a miserable, short-tempered man who didn't endear himself to anyone else in the church. Long-divorced, impotent and frustrated with being alone for so long, his life had turned upside down when a young woman by the name of Jenna Fox had started attending St. Michael's Church. A few months later, she'd turned her attentions to flirting with him. Never in a million years did Gordon think he'd end up getting his cock sucked by a stunning redhead whilst he sat on the organ stool.As Gordon sipped his tea, his phone vibrated."Oh, an email from Jenna," he smiled, checking the message.Happy Birthday Gordon! About tonight. I'm afraid I can't make tonight's organ practice. I won't be able to until Easter arrives. Thing is, I've chosen to give up sex for Lent. I know you won't to hear this and it's going to be so hard for me to stick to this, but you've got to test yourself and set a challenge, right? It's what being a Christian is all about. I truly hope you'll understand. But - that doesn't mean we can't still have some fun! Make sure you visit the church - I've left a birthday present for you on the organ stool, trust me, it'll see you through this hard time. And when Easter comes, Jesus won't be the only person that rises, wink wink. It'll be worth the wait, keep your organ pipe warm for me.Love Jenna. xxx"She's abstaining from sex?" Gordon almost dropped his cup of tea. "Wait, what? Oh no! This is a nightmare! I won't be able to have a fuck for six weeks? Bloody hell! I'll go round the bend, I can't even call on Yulia's mate Martika anymore. Damn it, why did she have to bugger off back to Ukraine?"He wasn't sure whether to scream or burst into tears, but after he overcame the initial shock, he took a deep breath and composed himself.

Vicar's wife, Jenna, decides to give up sex for Lent!A series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.  The Jenna series started  with ‘Jenna Goes To Church', followed shortly after with ‘Jenna, the Vicar's Wife'. It resumed recently with Jenna's New Year'; and now it continues with a Lentil 2-part story. Other episodes will follow.It was the last Sunday of Shrovetide, known as Quinquagesima. At St. Michael's Church, Reverend Morris had amassed a pile of old palm crosses, intending to burn them on Ash Wednesday."Shouldn't be long before the first members of the faithful arrive," he said to his wife Jenna, who was adjusting the flowers at the side of the pulpit."Oh before I forget, I've got something for you to burn on Ash Wednesday," she smiled, handing him a pair of her panties."This is an unusual-looking palm cross!" He replied. "I think I'd better burn this separately from the others! Is there some reason why you want your undies reduced to ash?""Well Simon, I've been thinking. And I've finally decided what I'm going to give up for Lent.""You're giving up wearing underwear?""Ha-ha. Tempting, but no. I'm giving up sex."Reverend Morris almost dropped the box full of crosses. "What? Sex? No, you can't be serious!"Jenna nodded. "I'm 100% serious, my love. Lent is supposed to be hard, and you're always going on about how part of being a good Christian is making sacrifices and so on. It's traditionally a time of fasting and abstaining from something to repent and focus our hearts and minds on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.""Yes, but within reason, Jen! I don't expect you to suffer hardship as bad as that!""I can do it, Simon. I'm committed to seeing it through. It's only forty days.""B-but, that's six weeks!" the vicar whined, looking as if his entire world was about to end. "I, I'm not sure I can, er, go without for so long!""Now Simon, you're a man of God. You're stronger than most. I know you can do this. And just think how wonderful it will be when Easter comes, everything in calf, bursting out in spring glory, sap rising, mating seasons beginning, shoots thrusting upwards, days getting longer, ""Vicars dying of horniness, " Reverend Morris sighed."Exactly. And it won't just be you going without. The other chaps of this church will have to go without as well!""Oh my goodness, Jenna. There's going to be a lot of frustration building up in this church! When you say no sex, does that mean, ""No physical contact whatsoever, my dearest! No blowjobs, no kissing, no cock in cunt, nada! Just like social distancing."Reverend Morris' lip was trembling. "Not even a kiss?""Nope. I'll be sleeping in the spare bedroom until Easter. I can blow you a kiss. And whilst we can't do anything involving physical contact, there are other naughty ways we can get through Lent.""Like what?""Use your imagination, Simon!"He thought for a moment. "So I'll have to make do with dating Rosie Palms until Easter?""If it helps you cope, yes!"The reverend took a deep breath. "You're absolutely right, Jenna. I can get through this. I admire you so much for deciding to have a sex ban. In fact, I think I love you even more, and I didn't think that possible!""Aww. Ditto." She kissed him. "We'll make the most of Shrove Tuesday," she added, with a wink. "I'm going to do some creative things with pancakes."He slipped his arms around her. "Remember that morning after the Candlemas service, when we got soaking wet in the rain and we just ravished each other once we got back to the vicarage?""Hee hee, yes. Or that time last month during that short holiday in Lincolnshire when we stayed in that weird hotel, and the ghost gatecrashed our passion?""Bit early in the morning for that, isn't it? Then again, I'm not complaining!" A voice shouted, and they both looked round. Gordon the organist had just arrived.Moments later, Josh the curate appeared."Morning guys!" Jenna smiled. She turned back to her husband. "You'd better get your robes on. Looks like some of the congregation are here already. I'll go and hand out some hymn books."He nodded and headed off to the vestry. "Forty days," he sighed. "God, .I will really need your help through this difficult time!"And just how were some of the other male members of St. Michael's Church going to cope for forty days without any 'spiritual guidance' from the vicar's wife?Shrove Tuesday (the eve of Lent)On Shrove Tuesday, Jenna spent all afternoon mixing pancake batter. It would've been quicker to buy some ready-made pancakes from Tesco, but where was the fun in that? She looked at the kitchen wall clock."Come on Simon, you're late. How long does a meeting with the Bishop take?"Her husband had been out all day. At last, she heard his car pull up on the drive."Good. Now the fun begins."The front door opened and Reverend Morris came rushing in. "Sorry I've been so long. Bishop George kept prattling on for ages and then coming back home there's been a road accident so I had to take the long way home, oh I see you've been busy!" He noticed his wife was completely naked except for an apron."Welcome home," she smirked. "It's time to flip some pancakes. Is my randy reverend able to provide some batter?"He licked his lips. "What sort of batter would you be requiring?""Hmm, let's see. That special 'anointing oil' you used during my 21st birthday?" She whirled a frying pan in her hand and flipped a pancake. "Here's one I prepared earlier."His hands found her shoulders, and turned her to face him. His hands moved up to cup her face and Jenna felt his lips close around hers in a tender kiss. She returned it with rising passion, slipping her tongue into his mouth. As their tongues danced, Jenna quickly unfastened her apron, letting it slide down over her smooth skin to the kitchen floor.She could hear Reverend Morris unfastening his own garments, and when he embraced her tightly, she felt his bare skin press against hers with delicious warmth. Her husband's mouth left her lips, trailing down her neck to her chest. He took a nipple in his mouth and teased the erect tip. It was perhaps the upcoming sex ban enhancing his senses, but Jenna's breasts had never felt so full, and had never tasted so sweet. His hands roamed down over her arse, savoring her curves.Reverend Morris moved back up her body, his lips playing over her breasts, then back up her neck. Jenna's hands slid down his chest and at last reached their goal. She gripped his throbbing member, took a few steps backward, pulling gently but firmly, and he promptly followed her. She felt the edge of the kitchen countertop meet her lower back, and she swiftly heaved herself on to the cool granite surface and lay back, spreading her legs.Reverend Morris had a sudden urge to taste his wife; his tongue met with her soft skin just above her clit, then down into her folds, tasting, discovering and exploring all that she had to offer. He began to suck and lick her clit. How he loved to worship at this altar.Jenna reached for the bowl of pancake batter. A wooden spoon was sticking out of the bowl. Without hesitation, she began spooning the batter down her breasts."It tastes alright," she murmured, placing a blob of batter on her husband's nose. "But it needs an extra ingredient, ""Umm, I think I can help you there.""Fuck me religiously, darling." Jenna said hoarsely.A pair of strong, silky legs wrapped around the vicar's arse. He lowered himself onto her and felt those glorious batter-coated breasts rub against his chest as he began thrusting into her. He tried to set a steady, leisurely pace to begin, but the legs around him urged him on faster and harder. Reverend Morris responded with enthusiasm, and within moments he was pounding into his wife with all his strength, mindful that after tonight he wouldn't be able to do this for six weeks."Yes, yes, oh my God yes, I've never felt anything like it!" Jenna moaned."Bloody hell, I'm coming, oh Jenna!" Reverend Morris yelled as his stream of hot cum filled up her cunt and flowed back out onto the kitchen countertop.Jenna lay back on the countertop, eyes closed. It was several minutes before her breathing had calmed enough for her to speak."Did I provide enough batter?" Reverend Morris asked."Your holy offering was more than generous!""Forty days without from this moment on. You've still time to change your mind.""I'm sticking to it, Simon. We'll get through Lent. We'll have to think up some creative contactless ways to get our rocks off."The smell of burning interrupted them. They both glanced at the stove. To Jenna's dismay, the pancake she'd been cooking had been virtually cremated in the frying pan."Oh dear," she said, gazing at the remains of the pancake, which now resembled a lump of coal."Now that's what I call a perfect burnt offering for Ash Wednesday!" Reverend Morris replied.The Organist is Entertained.Gordon Leesmith always looked forward to Thursday evening arriving. This was when he had organ practice at church, and for the past few months he'd been teaching Jenna to play the organ. These lessons were really just an excuse for a passionate romp with the stunning vicar's wife, who was always more than willing to get her hands on the organ in his trousers, rather than the church one.Gordon hummed to himself as he brewed himself a cup of tea. He checked the time. It was only just after midday. Six hours to go. He was impatient and horny, but in a very happy mood. He'd just returned from seeing his Primary Care physician. That in itself something of a miracle in modern Britain; and received good news. His benign prostate enlargement wasn't as bad as he'd feared. Despite being a bit overweight, the doctor had given him a clean bill of health. His blood pressure was low, and so was his cholesterol.Today was his birthday. He was fifty six. A year ago, Gordon had been a miserable, short-tempered man who didn't endear himself to anyone else in the church. Long-divorced, impotent and frustrated with being alone for so long, his life had turned upside down when a young woman by the name of Jenna Fox had started attending St. Michael's Church. A few months later, she'd turned her attentions to flirting with him. Never in a million years did Gordon think he'd end up getting his cock sucked by a stunning redhead whilst he sat on the organ stool.As Gordon sipped his tea, his phone vibrated."Oh, an email from Jenna," he smiled, checking the message.Happy Birthday Gordon! About tonight. I'm afraid I can't make tonight's organ practice. I won't be able to until Easter arrives. Thing is, I've chosen to give up sex for Lent. I know you won't to hear this and it's going to be so hard for me to stick to this, but you've got to test yourself and set a challenge, right? It's what being a Christian is all about. I truly hope you'll understand. But - that doesn't mean we can't still have some fun! Make sure you visit the church - I've left a birthday present for you on the organ stool, trust me, it'll see you through this hard time. And when Easter comes, Jesus won't be the only person that rises, wink wink. It'll be worth the wait, keep your organ pipe warm for me.Love Jenna. xxx"She's abstaining from sex?" Gordon almost dropped his cup of tea. "Wait, what? Oh no! This is a nightmare! I won't be able to have a fuck for six weeks? Bloody hell! I'll go round the bend, I can't even call on Yulia's mate Martika anymore. Damn it, why did she have to bugger off back to Ukraine?"He wasn't sure whether to scream or burst into tears, but after he overcame the initial shock, he took a deep breath and composed himself.

Why was Yaakov preparing Lentil soup? What did Eisav mean when he said "look, I am going to die"? Why Did Eisav call it 'red stuff' instead of just calling it 'lentil soup'? What was so special about the blessings that caused both Eisav and Yaakov to want them so badly? How were these blessings different than the ones Yitzchak eventually gave to Eisav?

11 19 24 Lentil Production by Ag PhD

Councillor chat Tuesday saw Mayor George Seymour and Division 7 councillor Diana Faraj join Blandy in the Big Breakfast. The Christmas Tree Lights and Carols are fast aprroaching, Wetside is turning 15 and believe it or not George was once in a pie eating competition. Lentil pies of course.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this episode of Taste Buds with Deb, host Debra Eckerling speaks with actress Yael Grobglas. Grobglas, who played the series regular dual-roles of ‘Petra' and ‘Anezka' on “Jane the Virgin;” Hallmark Channel's “Hanukkah on Rye;” and recently started an arc on the new “Matlock,” believes food is magical.    “It can heal you, it can make you happy, it can bring people together,” she says.     Grobglas was born in France and grew up in Israel, and loves the cuisines from both. Some of her happiest memories involve holidays and food.    “You all sit at the table together, you sing songs and you eat,” she explains. “And the kids run around under the table and between everybody's legs, [while] the parents try to keep some sort of adult conversation going.”   Grobglas, whose mother and father are wonderful cooks, was destined to love food. When she moved out on her own, Grobglas knew she had to learn how to cook, so she could continue to eat good food.   “Luckily I'm pretty creative,” she says. “I cannot follow a recipe to save my life [but] I have so many cookbooks … I'll look through them for inspiration. I feel like I'm making art.”     When asked how her training as an actor influenced her creativity in the kitchen, Grobglas said it made her trust herself, and the creative process, more.    “If you botch a take, it's fine; you do another one,” she explains. “You make mistakes, that's how you learn. It's okay, you get better.”   On “Matlock,” Grobglas plays a jury consultant aka human lie detector. She previously worked with “Matlock” showrunner Jennie Snyder Urman on “Jane the Virgin,” which Urman created.  “It was incredible to work together again,” she says.    Yael Grobglas talks about her earliest food memories, how she creates in the kitchen, and the amazing craft (food) services on Matlock. She also shares the recipe for her mom's signature dish: lentil salad with apples and red onion, which you can get at JewishJournal.com/podcasts.   Follow @YaelGrobglas  on Instagram and watch her arc on “Matlock” on CBS; her character arrives on episode three.   For more from Taste Buds, subscribe on iTunes and YouTube, and follow @TheDEBMethod on social media.

Would your partner survive if they returned from your favourite bakery with nothing for you!? Plus we have another taste test of alternatives to crisps. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sharlay Smith, founder of The Lentil House, shares her journey of turning her passion for making lentils into a successful business. She learned the recipe from her mother and decided to start her own business after a major life change. She started selling her lentils at local markets and received positive feedback. She won awards and eventually got her product into major supermarkets like Whole Foods. Sharlay shares her journey of starting her own food business and getting her products into Whole Foods. She talks about receiving an unexpected email from Whole Foods requesting samples of her products, which led to her pitching and eventually getting her products on the shelves of Whole Foods. She also discusses the challenges she faced as a business owner and the support she received from the local food community. Sharlay's story is inspiring and encourages others to pursue their dreams. "If you have an idea and you're passionate about it, don't think twice about it. Just do it." - Sharlay Smith Takeaways Passion projects can turn into successful businesses. Positive feedback and awards can validate the quality of a product. Major life changes can lead to new career paths. Starting small and participating in local markets can help build a customer base. Networking and participating in online events can lead to opportunities with major retailers. Don't let fear get in the way of pursuing your dreams Passion and talent can be turned into a successful business Support from the local food community can make a difference Challenges are a part of the journey, but they can be overcome Inspire others by sharing your story and encouraging them to follow their dreams “Thank you for joining me on The Contrast Project Lounge Podcast. Don't miss out on future episodes! Make sure to subscribe to The Contrast Project Lounge Podcast on Spotify for Podcasters and our YouTube channel. or wherever you stream!”- Tracy Rigdon Our tagline, 'Random. Relevant. Real.,' is more than just words to us—it's a promise. We're here to surprise you with unexpected insights, tackle the most pressing issues of our time, and do it all with an authentic, down-to-earth and sometimes tongue-in-cheek vibe. No fluff, just genuine conversations that will make you think, laugh, and maybe even challenge your own perspectives. ** Music Tracks by Alex Grohl on Pixabay (Where applicable) ** Feel free to LIKE, SHARE AND COMMENT and SUBSCRIBE. Follow The Contrast Project online: ** https://www.thecontrastproject.tv/ ** ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/TheContrastProjectJax ** ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_contrast_project/ ** https://www.instagram.com/contrast_podcast_backup/ ** https://www.threads.net/@contrast_podcast_backup ** ⁠⁠https://twitter.com/ContrastProjTV⁠⁠  ** https://www.youtube.com/@thecontrastproject7242 ** https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-contrast-project ** The Contrast Project Lounge Podcast is proudly created in part using the Riverside.fm platform. By using this link you are helping to support this show. Thank you so much: ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/3BH3q2t ** You can help support The Contrast Project Lounge Podcast by visiting:  https://ko-fi.com/contrastprojectloungepodcast --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-contrast-project/support

Send us a textEver wondered if those famous 'Blue Zones' of longevity are too good to be true? Join Dr. Orlena as she dives into shocking new research that's turning the world of healthy living upside down!

The Great Spirit of the Lentil grants the blessing of forewarning they describe as a small wisdom and a great opportunity for the well-being of all in today's Gaia Translate. Want access to the transcript and show notes for future episodes? Visit our website at www.gaiatranslate.com Please rate, review and share the Gaia Translate podcast with your friends and colleagues so that more of us are able to receive this timely communication from the greater family of life we are all a part of.

Today's episode is extra special for all you classic children's book lovers! I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with Carrie Halim, the Curator of the Robert McCloskey Museum, who (let's be honest) is basically living the dream. If you've ever imagined what it's like to be surrounded by Make Way for Ducklings, Blueberries for Sal, and all things McCloskey, you're in for a treat. Carrie shares how she fell in love with McCloskey's work, the magic of curating such an iconic collection, and some behind-the-scenes stories from the museum. Whether you're a long-time fan or just discovering McCloskey's timeless books, this episode will leave you inspired and ready to revisit your favorites. Celebrate Robert McCloskey's Ohio Roots: A Day of Donuts, Harmonica, and Kaleidoscopes!Join us this Saturday, September 14th, for the grand finale of summer at the McCloskey Museum! We're celebrating Robert McCloskey's Ohio heritage and literary legacy with a day full of fun and creativity. Enjoy donuts, harmonica tunes, and kaleidoscope-making as we honor the beloved author and illustrator. Special tributes from authors Glenn McCarty and Gary D. Schmidt, along with duckling and Lentil sculptor Nancy Schon, will make this event even more memorable.Catch a performance of Lentil at the Hamilton Flea at 11 AM, and then join us at the museum from 12-4 PM to continue the festivities. It's all happening on McCloskey's birthday weekend at 20 High Street, Hamilton, Ohio. For more details, visit our Facebook group at McCloskey Wonder Works!Books in this episode: The Complete Tales of Winnie-The-Pooh by A. A. MilneFrederick by Leo Lionni The Princess and the Goblin by George MacDonaldPilgrim's Inn Elizabeth GoudgeTime of Wonder by Robert McCloskey (on sale at time of posting!)Lentil by Robert McCloskeyHomer Price books by Robert McCloskeyCenterburg Tales (also titled More Homer Price) by Robert McCloskeyHenry Reed series by Keith Robertson; illustrated by Robert McCloskey: Henry Reed, Inc. Henry Reed's JourneyHenry Reed's Babysitting ServiceHenry Reed's Big ShowHenry Reed's Think TankMake Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskeyBlueberries for Sal by Robert McCloskeyMadeline by Ludwig BemelmansThe Story About Ping by Marjorie Flack; illustrated by Kurt Wiese Robert McCloskey by Gary D. Schmidt Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice SendakDoodle's Mountain by Amanda M. Brindley; illustrated by Sofia RectorThe Misadventured Summer of Tumbleweed Thompson by Glenn McCarty; illustrated by Joe SutphinJourney Cake, Ho! by Ruth Sawyer; illustrated by Robert McCloskey Burt Dow, Deep-Water Man : A Tale of the Sea in Classic Tradition by Robert McCloskeyPocket Full of Colors: The Magical World of Mary Blair, Disney Artist Extraordinaire Amy Guglielmo; illustrated by Jacqueline Tourville Tom Sawyer by Mark TwainHuckleberry Finn by Mark TwainThe Silver Chair by C.S. LewisJohn Philip Duck by Patricia PolaccoOnce On a Time by A. A. Milne The Magic Hill by A. A. MilneThe Childcraft books Reshelving Alexandria is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our mission, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Reshelving Alexandria at www.reshelvingalexandria.com/subscribe

A Palmerston North startup company has taken Dairy free products a step further, making a cream out of Lentils, it looks and tastes like the real thing and has no allergens. Andfoods is the company with the cream, and also finalists in this year's KiwiNet Awards.

Welcome to Diabetes Unplugged! The podcast that shines light on life BEYOND the diagnosis...This week, we're kicking off a new segment of Diabetes Unplugged called Doctor's Orders. This week's Doctor's Order comes from Erica Watson, a Diabetes Educator focused on helping the "Plant Curious" manage diabetes by way of a plant-based diet and her use of the "Lentil Effect." In This Episode, You'll Learn:How lentils help regulate blood sugar levels.How to incorporate lentils into your daily diet.Easy and delicious lentil recipes to try at home.The role of fiber, protein, and other nutrients in blood sugar management.Join us as we delve into the transformative benefits of lentils and how they can be a game-changer for managing diabetes.All of this and so much more on Diabetes Unplugged.Follow and connect with NiaFollow Nia on IG → hereFollow Nia on TikTok → hereFollow Nia on Facebook → hereVisit her website → hereFollow Erica Watson HereGet with the Program!Want to learn about The 5 Day Blood Sugar REBOOT? → hereFree Masterclass: How to Reverse Diabetes → hereJoin Dominating Diabetes Academy → hereGet the Diabetic 8 E-Book Bundle! → herePodcast Includes "Awaken" music by Anno Domini Beats

From Susie and Leanne on The Nutrition Couch this episode: We look at the latest research about the potential benefits of keeping 100% fruit juices in your diet; We look at the emerging link between high fat diets and anxiety; We review the Amy's Kitchen Canned Organic Lentil & Vegetable Soup; We our listener question is about how to enjoy crumpets as a healthy winter breakfast option? So sit back, relax and enjoy this week's episode!  New TNC Webinars Here is all the info about our new TNC webinars. Both webinars are now on our website and are able to be purchases and watched any time. Eating For Best Self Breaking The Diet Cycle Don't Miss an Episode   Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode and follow us on social media @the_nutrition_couch_podcast to ask us questions & see our food product reviews.  It would mean the world to us if you could leave us a 5 star review in the purple Apple podcast app (scroll to the bottom of the app to find the ratings and reviews) as this really helps push up higher in the charts to expose our podcast to more ears.  Please follow Susie on her Instagram & Facebook and Leanne on her Instagram, TikTok and the Leanne Ward Nutrition Podcast.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Julie Biuso has a wonderful recipe for budding young chefs to have go at this week. She's sharing her recipe for Lentil Pie with Puffy Cheese Sauce with Mark.

Do you have a lentil cookbook?, how was the Eucharist administered in the Early Church?, and did Jesus's parables have deep meanings below the surface?

Do you have a lentil cookbook?, how was the Eucharist administered in the Early Church?, and did Jesus's parables have deep meanings below the surface?

Bryant Terry is a visionary in the vegan cooking world, and we tried out this well-known cookbook. We talk about nesting doll recipes, brilliant vegan flavor boosters and decide whether this book could ever work on a weeknight. (And yes, we know we sound a little breathy in the audio on this episode, we're working on it!) Recipes mentioned in this episode: All-green everything salad with creamy sage dressing (page 148) Cornbread muffins (page 37) Dill pickled fennel (page 44) Red rice with spring vegetables (page 74) Sweet potato, russet potato and tempeh hash (page 183) Millet, red lentil and potato cakes (page 175) Lentil soup (page 215) Creamy carrot coconut soup (page 208) Resources mentioned in this episode: Spotify dinner playlist Join our Cookbook Club! Our Instagram, @cookbookclubshow E-mail us: cookbookclubshow@gmail.com Find Renee and Sara on Instagram: @hipchickdigs and @realtor_saragray Our sponsors: Dropcloth Samplers Cook along with us! Next cookbook episode (releasing 6/12/2024 most likely — thanks for your patience!): Mi Cocina, by Rick Martinez

SaysWhovia, Maureen has had a rough week. But it's OK because she's TOTALLY FINE. Yes, that's what she is. She is also the lentil princess, so she has that going for her. Meanwhile the world is going to complete and utter shi... Happy days for she's the lentil princess! Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Hutt and Chad break down the Browns goinging all in on helping a guy that may be completely done. The Jeudy signing is another example. And the Boys dive into a "Tradition Unlike Any Other” Jon Rahn's Champions dinner menu for the 87th Masters Tournament. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The State Government announces $500,000 for a South Australian-based company developing plant protein products for export, the GRDC to spend $43million on a national biosecurity project to protect the grains industry from threats, and South Australia's apiary and pollination industries push ahead with preparations for the arrival of varroa mite.

Lentil me your ears: this is not your grandma's telling of the lumpy young woman and a lumpy mattress. No, this is very much a story of compassion and kindness: two things that matter most, regardless of status or station. Free, thanks to our friends at enVypillow.com and SierraSil.com. Drift is free, thanks to our wonderful sponsors: enVy Pillow and SierraSil. Both of them have been generous enough to offer 10% off all online purchases when you use the code drift.

01 25 24 Lentil Production by Ag PhD

Half Kazayit of wheat flour and Half Kazayit of lentil flour

Half Kazayit of wheat flour and Half Kazayit of lentil flour

“Focusing the GWAS Lens on days to flower using latent variable phenotypes derived from global multienvironment trials” with Sandesh Neupane and Derek Wright. Lentil, a pivotal pulse crop, is recognized as an important part of food and nutrition security in the world. It has rich sources of important nutrients, is easy to cook, and thrives well on the farm. Due to its rich dietary benefits, lentil has been introduced to North America, especially in Canada. Originating as a warmer climate crop, domesticated in the Middle East and North Africa, and widely adopted in Southeast Asia, lentil can face adaptation issues in the cooler Canadian climate. This struggle directly impacts flowering, pod-bearing, and overall yield. What precisely are the adaptation constraints hindering lentil introduction in North America? How do varying photoperiods and temperatures exert influence on lentil production? Delving deeper, what genes govern the crop's sensitivity to photoperiods and temperatures? In this episode, Sandesh Neupane and Derek Wright share insights into their research on lentil adaptation and how they dissect the genetic mechanisms orchestrating the photoperiod and temperature sensitivity in lentils with multi-location trials and advanced image-based phenotyping. This groundbreaking work promises to contribute significantly to the breeding of well-suited lentil varieties tailored to thrive in North American conditions. Tune in to learn about: ·         Lentil and its nutritional value ·         Lentil's history ·         The challenges of lentil adaptation in Canada ·         How the environment affects lentil growth If you would like more information about this topic, this episode's paper is available here:  https://doi.org/10.1002/tpg2.20269 This paper is always freely available. Contact us at podcast@sciencesocieties.org or on Twitter @FieldLabEarth if you have comments, questions, or suggestions for show topics, and if you want more content like this don't forget to subscribe. If you'd like to see old episodes or sign up for our newsletter, you can do so here: https://fieldlabearth.libsyn.com/. If you would like to reach out to Derek Wright, you can find him here: derek.wright@usask.ca If you would like to reach out to Sandesh Neupane, you can find him here: sandesh.neupane@usask.ca If you would like to reach out to Om Prakash Ghimire from our Student Spotlight, you can find him here:oghimir@g.clemson.edu Twitter: https://twitter.com/baizalla   Resources CEU Quiz: https://web.sciencesocieties.org/Learning-Center/Courses/Course-Detail?productid=%7b66CDC952-F899-EE11-BE37-000D3A32379C%7d Transcripts: https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/DTO7pupG1PWFmpaCbjNkVKnhQuE9eybRhp_s83uNy5AoLyIlNwjjoi5_3tjqm5lbMxn3ESqOuz1EuC4_GuWmV5Ri604?loadFrom=SharedLink Plant Sciences, Crop Development Centre – University of Saskatchewan: https://agbio.usask.ca/faculty-and-staff/people-pages/kirstin-bett.php#top/ Know Pulse - https://knowpulse.usask.ca/ Thank you to Om Prakash Ghimire for help on the creation of show notes and other assets. Field, Lab, Earth is Copyrighted by the American Society of Agronomy, Crop Science Society of America, and Soil Science Society of America.

(S8 E22) Find out why this 8000 year old plant is still popular today. Versatile, healthy, and affordable, it can be the side dish or the main star of your table. They can serve either as the star or supporting player in soups, stews, fritters, salads, chilis, burgers, and curries. Also they are replete with spiritual meaning. In the Jewish culture, lentils are an important food whose round shape symbolizes the cycle of life. In Arabic culture lentils are asassociated with prosperity. Many other cultures attach significance to lentils as well, including Italian and Hungarian people who consumed lentils on BBC New Year's Eve to being about wealth and prosperity since they can be shaped like coins. Whatever your draw is, Kate and Rick talk about the different types of lentils, and also provide some amazing ways to prepare and consume them. Also on the discussion block is a carrot, leek, and miso soup and a carbonara pizza. . . . . . . You Won't Believe What I Ate Last Night is the ongoing conversation by Kate DeVore and Rick Fiori about their endeavor to be and stay healthy in a really tasty world with kindness and compassion towards themselves and others. Perfect if you are interested in: food, eating, diet, weight loss, weight management, health, fitness, compassion, kindness, meditation, mindfulness, humor, comedy, friendship, weight gain, foodie, podcasts, healthy eating.

On this weekend's show, guest host Lyndsey Smith discusses: What is costing ag billions of dollars; Red and green lentil markets with Chuck Penner; Federal ag minister Lawrence MacAulay; and, The road to $25 billion with Bill Greuel with Protein Industries Canada. Thoughts on something we talked about on the show? Connect with host Shaun... Read More

It’s the tale of two very different markets when it comes to red and green lentils, with both markets seeing early excitement to the upside earlier this year. But now, Chuck Penner says, red lentil prices have dropped off sharply from the highs, while green lentil prices are strong enough there are new-crop bids already... Read More

Welcome to episode 14 of the Hot Nuance Book Club, where it's time for Flight (parts 23-29) in The Ruins of Ambrai. We've got earthquake stories, a discussion about the purpose of making art, seepage from the subtext, and Aradia breaking Ali not once but twice.== Buy the Ebook ==Amazon: https://amzn.to/3p0jU3kKobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/exiles-58Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/ruins-of-ambrai-melanie-rawn/1101213569?ean=9781101666319Once you're caught up, come hang with us on our Discord server and tell us all of your thoughts!Discord: https://discord.gg/fdcaA75UkMTranscripts by AnnaArt by BreeProduced by Aradia | Fox And Raven Media== Follow Us ==Twitter: https://twitter.com/hotnuancepodWebsite: https://www.hotnuancebookclub.com/Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheHotNuanceBookClub

About 600,000 tonnes of Canadian red lentils and about 60,000 tonnes of green lentils head to India each year as a daily staple for thousands of India’s citizens. It’s an incredibly important export destination for Canadian pulses, and one that could be in jeopardy as tensions build between the two countries following Canada’s accusation of... Read More

The fabulous Whitney Marie Anderson joins Jen for Ep. 140! They cover how Whit learned to crochet and knit (a new one for this podcast!), going with the flow while also knowing your worth, the importance of representation, and then they dive into a brief history of Amigurumi, which is how Whit started her business. Oh, and how could we forget to mention that co-star Renee (Whitney's ADORABLE daughter) pops in to say hi! ;)Get Whit's crochet hooks, stitch markers, patterns, and more: whitneymarieanderson.comPrefer to watch your podcasts? Watch on YouTube!Find us on the Making app:Whit: @WhitneyMarieAndersonJen: @KnitPurlREAD: Making as Necessity: A Personal History of Black Representation in Craft by Marina ScottHow to get the free Lentil patterns:1- Download the Making app and sign up in the app!2- Open the app and tap on Profile (bottom right hand corner)3- Tap on Studio, scroll to "From Making" and tap on the >4- Tap on "Patterns" under "From Making"5- Enjoy! Make sure to tag the designers and share your progress and final Lentils in the Making app and beyond! (Make sure to tag us on IG too! @making_co)Music by Despatches.

'The worst race of the season' and 'a wake up call for rest of the paddock'. Did somebody get out of the wrong side of the bed or does Tugs have a point? It's not the happiest episode of the Greatest Motorcycling Podcast in the Universe but it's not all doom and gloom either. There's the Captain's Instructions, Rossi's letter, Borrie's Poem (which is actually a song this week) and a supermodel joins the show for a chat. But if you don't press play you won't know what any of it is about so get on with it. Oh, and buy a ticket in the Ohvale raffle. (https://www.raffletix.com.au/rushoftherace2023?utm_source=carousel&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=sdnk3) It's a good cause and a hell of a prize. In fact, it might be the only way the Phillip Island experience could be bearable as a spectator. IMPORTANT ANOUNCEMENT None of this would be possible without our magnificent sponsors. They support us, so it's only good manners you should support them. Visit their websites, try and buy their products, sign up for their newsletters, and tell them WE SENT YOU. And we would be really pleased if you bought Borrie's books. They're a great read, they make great gifts, and it helps him to feed his family. If he can feed his family he tends not to rob people. All four of his masterpieces are here (https://www.shocknawe.com.au/)… And our sponsors: SC-PROJECT OCEANIA (https://sc-project.com.au/) NOISEGUARD (https://www.noiseguard.com.au/) MADE IN GERMANY (https://www.mig.bike/) AGV HELMETS (https://agvhelmets.com.au/) BMW MOTORRAD (https://www.bmw-motorrad.com.au/en/home.html#/filter-all) HARLEY-DAVIDSON (https://www.harley-davidson.com/au/en/index.html) HONDA (https://motorcycles.honda.com.au/) SUZUKI (https://www.suzukimotorcycles.com.au/) TRIUMPH (https://www.triumphmotorcycles.com.au/) APRILIA (https://www.aprilia.com/au_EN/) MOTO GUZZI (https://www.motoguzzi.com/au_EN/models/v85-tt/) SAVIC MOTORCYCLES (https://www.savicmotorcycles.com/) WORLD ON WHEELS (https://www.worldonwheels.tours/) CMB Financial Services (https://cmbfin.com.au) or call 1300 262 346 Indo Insider Tours (https://indoinsidertours.com). GREY GUMS CAFÉ (https://www.facebook.com/GreyGumCafe/) KEBAND CUSTOM PARTS (https://www.kebandcustomparts.com.au) Chris the Artist (https://www.drautoart.com)

Esteban embezzled money from a man he was in a prison race riot with.  It was just a part of his journey seeking a better life. Esteban tells us about his life in and out of prison. It will open your eyes. ROCKET MONEY RocketMoney.com/secret. It could save you hundreds a year. PICTURES See pictures from prison, Esteban as a boat maker, addressing his high school and with his partner. They are waiting for you on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.  Handle: @secretroompod. THE SECRET ROOM | UNLOCKED Esteban is back on the Secret Room | Unlocked in just one week. He and host Susie Lark talk about how he pulled off 12-hour tattoo sessions behind bars, and about where he hopes his seminary studies will lead. The Secret Room | Unlocked is yours when you support your favorite indie podcast that could with a membership at patreon.com/secretroom or on Apple Podcasts. ALL OUR SPONSORS See all our sponsors past and present, and their offers, many of which are still valid: secretroompodcast.com/codes  FACEBOOK DISCUSSION GROUPThere's even more fun at The Secret Room Podcast Facebook Discussion Page!  Just ask to join, all are welcome. :) YOUR SECRET  Click "Share a Secret" at secretroompod.com. PODCAST TEAM Producer: Susie Lark. Story Development: Luna Patel. Sound Engineer: Marco. Shadow Producers: Jude and Lentil. Music and Theme: Breakmaster Cylinder. LISTENER SURVEY Take our Listener Survey at SecretRoomPod.com!  

This diminutive legume plays a giant role in the history of agriculture. Anney and Lauren explore the science and history of lentils.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.