Back From The Borderline | BPD (EUPD) Recovery Podcast

Follow Back From The Borderline | BPD (EUPD) Recovery Podcast
Share on
Copy link to clipboard

Back from the Borderline is a podcast dedicated to providing resources for anyone struggling with borderline personality disorder to be their best selves physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Host Mollie’s battle with borderline personality disorder nearly ended her life. After her diagnosis, she made healing her life’s mission. Created to provide a behind-the-scenes look into Mollie’s recovery journey, Back from the Borderline explores the day-to-day behaviors those of us with BPD (EUPD) engage in that determine our life outcomes. In many cases, those living with BPD are unaware of the underlying reasons behind the self-sabotaging ways we behave and react. This podcast aims to shine the light of awareness on these patterns so that you can begin to break free from them and create new, healthier ones. There will be no shame, no stigma, and more laughs than you’d probably expect from a podcast about what is known as one of the most mentally and emotionally painful mental health disorders. We’ll learn about self-trust, powerful mindset shifts, and radically simple strategies and habits you can implement to start experiencing a life worth living. *Join us on Instagram @bpdtea* See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Mollie


    • Nov 18, 2024 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 1h 7m AVG DURATION
    • 104 EPISODES

    Ivy Insights

    The Back From The Borderline | BPD (EUPD) Recovery Podcast is a refreshing and original take on Borderline Personality Disorder. Unlike much of the literature out there that can be cliché and repetitive, this podcast provides unique insights and research into the "logic" of BPD, offering new coping methods for listeners. The host goes above and beyond by delving deep into the subject matter and presenting it in an intelligent and relatable way. This podcast has been a valuable resource for those starting their therapy or healing journey, helping them put words to their experiences and view them from different perspectives.

    The best aspect of this podcast is its originality. The host takes the time to do thorough research, providing listeners with new information and insights into BPD that they may not have encountered before. This sets it apart from other resources available on the topic. Additionally, the host's intelligence and relatability make it engaging to listen to, as they present complex concepts in an understandable way.

    As for the worst aspects of this podcast, some may find it overly verbose at times. The use of excessive ellipses and parentheticals can make the review or discussion difficult to follow or distracting for some listeners. Additionally, while the inclusion of personal anecdotes adds depth to the episodes, some may feel that it veers too far away from the main topic.

    In conclusion, The Back From The Borderline | BPD (EUPD) Recovery Podcast is a highly informative and original resource for those dealing with BPD or wanting to understand it better. The host's commitment to research and exploration of different aspects of BPD sets this podcast apart from others in its genre. While there may be minor flaws in terms of presentation style, overall it provides valuable insights and coping strategies that can greatly benefit listeners on their recovery journey.



    Search for episodes from Back From The Borderline | BPD (EUPD) Recovery Podcast with a specific topic:

    Latest episodes from Back From The Borderline | BPD (EUPD) Recovery Podcast

    this episode isn't about UFOs – it's about YOU

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2024 202:25


    The veils are lifting. Are you ready to see the truth? Why is humanity more mentally and physically unwell than ever before? Why are we so disconnected from ourselves, each other, and the world—despite living in the most technologically advanced era in human history? In this episode, we're going beyond the headlines of the Congressional UFO hearings and diving into the deeper questions no one is asking.Together, we'll explore:• The veils that obscure the truth—from the military-industrial complex and government secrecy to the church and the scientific establishment.• The subjugation of the Divine Feminine and how it's led to a spiritually starved and fractured collective soul.• Why the phenomenon isn't here to terrify us, but to awaken us to the truth of who we are.For too long, the narrative has been dominated by fear—threats to national security, alien invasions, and government cover-ups. But after listening to this episode, you'll see why these arguments fall apart under deeper scrutiny. You'll never view discourse from the government or military about the phenomenon in the same way again. The fear is the distraction. The truth is far more profound—and liberating.This isn't just a podcast episode—it's a personal journey. I'll share my own story of synchronicities, mystical experiences, and an encounter with the phenomenon that changed my life. We'll uncover how reconnecting to the divine within is the key to healing mental health struggles, finding spiritual fulfillment, and unlocking humanity's potential.If you've ever questioned the nature of reality, the role of spirituality in mental health, or the deeper meaning of the UFO phenomenon, this episode is for you. What if the answers you've been searching for weren't out there—but within?TIME STAMPS:00:00 - 09:25 | Disclaimer + Intro: Who this episode is for and why it matters.09:25 - 19:55 | Part 1: Meeting the Bledsoes: My personal encounter with the phenomenon.20:29 - 01:35:49 | Part 2: Lifting the Veils: Why UFO discourse is stuck and the veils distorting our understanding.01:36:45 - 02:43:25 | Part 3: Reframing the Phenomenon: Jacques Vallée's lens, the Divine Feminine, and the wisdom of mystics.02:43:25 - 03:00:26 | Part 4: Historical Parallels: Lessons from the past: suppression of the mystical and feminine.03:00:26 - 03:09:01 | Part 5: Why This Matters: Implications for mental health and the awakening of society.ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:→ Full U.S. House Oversight Committee hearing on UFOs from November 13th, 2024 (testimony of Dr. Tim Gallaudet, Luis (Lue) Elizondo, Michael Gold, and Michael Shellenberger.)→ My interview with Chris and Ryan Bledsoe→ unlock higher states of consciousness by understanding the different levels of thinking (exploring ken wilber's AQAL integral theory)Dive deeper into my work at backfromtheborderline.com. acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    the bledsoe family's cosmic rebirth: unveiling non-human intelligence

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2023 190:16


    Prepare for a mind-expanding exploration into the cosmic realms of consciousness and the resilience that emerges from the depths of adversity in a world that often misunderstands or rejects the unknown. In this powerful and exclusive interview, Chris and Ryan Bledsoe invite us to explore a different dimension that exists all around us, one that remains aware of our presence. In this episode, we're delving into the extraordinary experiences of the Bledsoe family and their encounters with non-human intelligence (NHI) and high strangeness. This episode explores navigating cosmic mysteries, government scrutiny, and the enduring power of truth. In 2007, Chris Bledsoe experienced something that reshaped his entire perception of reality. From facing near-death experiences due to psychiatric harm while being shunned by his entire community to becoming a best-selling author studied by consciousness experts, Chris shares how serious trauma has played a pivotal role in shaping his worldview. Despite societal pressures to conform, Chris and his family have defied the narrative that painted his experiences with non-human intelligence as something to be feared. He insisted that his encounters were imbued with messages of peace and interconnectedness. Together, we'll uncover the harsh realities of public scrutiny, media deception, and institutional scapegoating that many victims endure. You'll hear about the Bledsoes' moments of isolation, ridicule, and governmental interference, witnessing the resilience that ultimately led to hope. The interview also explores the challenges faced by Chris Bledsoe in gaining acceptance on a more spiritual angle that extends beyond the stereotypical “UFOs and Aliens” narrative. Through Chris's conversations with numerous individuals who've undergone similar experiences, we discover that a connecting thread emerges: the profound impact of trauma and the shared journey many individuals have of encountering high strangeness or non-human intelligence at the height of personal suffering. Chris and Ryan's story is a testament to the transformative power of disclosure, embracing the unknown, and finding hope amidst the deeper mysteries that surround us. TIME STAMPS 00:00 – 06:10: Intro + Ad Break06:10 – 36:43: What is non-human intelligence and why is right now such an important time for disclosure?35:43 – 02:45:33: Interview with Chris and Ryan Bledsoe02:45:33 – 03:03:16: Exploration of the Schumer Legislation which proposes the establishment of an independent agency to declassify records related to unidentified aerial phenomena (UAP).03:03:16 – 03:10:15: Final thoughts on the importance of disclosure and the pivotal moment in history we find ourselves in CONNECT WITH THE BLEDSOES Connect with Chris Bledsoe and read more about his book “UFO of God” at https://ufoofgod.com/Connect with Ryan Bledsoe and listen to his podcast Bledsoe Said So at https://www.bledsoesaidso.com/Watch a Preview of Beyond Skinwalker Ranch S1E8 at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJjs39IJWhATO CONTACT ME + JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY, VISIT https://linktr.ee/backfromtheborderline acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    my very first live virtual event: are you ready to surrender?

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2023 13:00


    pov: your big sister is erykah badu and she's giving you some tough love

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2023 75:47


    I recently came across an interview with singer-songwriter and creative maverick Erykah Badu on YouTube. Her words were so impactful for me in this phase of my recovery journey that I knew I had to make an episode that included my favorite clips. Although she came from humble beginnings, Erykah's “mutable” and child-like approach to life has unlocked a lifetime and career of possibilities. This episode will make you feel like you're sitting down with your best friend, giving you the tough love that you may not want, but desperately need. Check out the time stamps below for a more detailed breakdown of the topics covered. TIME STAMPS 00:00 – 7:32: Introduction (who is Erykah Badu and why I believe her attitude towards life is so inspiring)7:28 – 8:17: The importance of looking forward to the future, rather than dreading it   8:17 – 15:31: How Erykah Badu views the development of a solid sense of self and identity (the importance of becoming “mutable,” or more flexible rather than rigid in life)15:31 – 20:16: On not letting the opinions of others influence you or deter you from doing what you want, and learning to pace yourself  20:16 – 23:14: on facing the sexism and importance placed on looks in the music industry and mainstream media in the 90s23:14 – 27:45: The advice Erykah Badu would give her “naïve” younger self (how to not become influenced by the thoughts and feelings of others)27:45 – 31:31: How hip hop culture helped Erykah Badu cultivate her creative identity and confidence31:31 – 34:53: How Erykah's focus on “reinvention” and metamorphosis is her primary driver34:53 – 39:07: Erykah's advice on style and aesthetics (how to cultivate your own unique style)39:07 – 48:21: Where does the word “woke” come from and how has it evolved? (How Erykah Badu including this in her song “Master Teacher” and tweeting it out regarding the scandal surrounding Russian activist group Pussy Riot gave the word “woke” a life of its own)48:21 – 52:42: Why Erykah Badu believes we should avoid putting ourselves in “boxes” and the way labels can keep us stuck in rigid forms that don't allow for growth and metamorphosis52:42 – 57:26: On the importance of staying child-like while she unlearns toxic behaviors and stays conscious in her role as a mother57:26 – 01:02:02: How Erykah uses her art and creativity to transmute and transform the wounds from generational trauma01:02:02 – 01:05:21: Why we shouldn't copy the path of others and the importance of finding our own way in life (ikigai philosophy)  01:05:21 – 01:15:38: The best and worst advice Erykah Badu has ever received (reflections on the hermetic principal “as above, so below”)RESOURCESClick here to the full interview on YouTube (“Mavericks with Ari Melber: Erykah Badu,” March 29th, 2023)Background instrumentals by Noizy BeatsBFTB EXTRAS TO SUPPORT MY WORK, JOIN THE COMMUNITY OF PREMIUM SUBMARINES ON PATREON.[You can also find this link by visiting my website at backfromtheborderline.com] 15% OFF PURE SPECTRUM CBD PRODUCTS AT purespectrumcbd.com/BFTB acast+ audio-only listener benefits https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    are you going to fit in or find your path? (ft. james hollis)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2023 89:35


    Those of us who struggle with chronic feelings of emptiness, persistent suicidal ideation and are recovering from various forms of abuse and neglect, find ourselves stuck in self-sabotaging patterns of behavior that keep us stuck in vicious life-denying cycles. Jungian analyst James Hollis' new book is called "A Life of Meaning: Relocating Your Center of Spiritual Gravity." In it, he aims to tackle the biggest question many of us face: “what does all of this MEAN?” In this episode, James and I will discuss how you can “explore your inner architecture” by cultivating a vibrant inner life. By the end of our conversation, you will deeply understand what James means when he says, “you are what's wanting expression through you, not what happened to you.” Our task isn't goodness. It's wholeness. TIME STAMPS 00:00 – 4:00: Listener voicemail + intro04:14 – 10:21: What is Jungian psychology?10:19 – 13:29: How do Jungian and analytical psychology differ from shorter-term therapeutic modalities like CBT and DBT?13:29 – 17:30: Introducing Dr. James Hollis and his new book “A Life of Meaning”17:34 – 25:25: Why do we keep repeating the same self-sabotaging patterns our entire lives?25:20 – 27:56: The negative consequences of becoming stuck in childlike ways of acting and reacting27:56 – 29:38: How our self-esteem can become wounded in childhood29:38 – 38:42: How to cultivate a relationship with your inner self without losing your sanity38:42 – 50:25: The importance of leading an examined life50:25 – 56: 48: What happens when we cut ourselves off from our feelings56:48 – 01:03:28: Understanding and overcoming feelings of overwhelming “emotional neediness”01:03:38 – 01:29:34: How the BetterHelp controversy is changing the creator economy, shining a light on influencer responsibility, and raised concerns about the safety, reliability, and affordability of online therapy RESOURCES Book: “A Life of Meaning: Relocating Your Center of Spiritual Gravity” by James HollisClick here to view other books by James HollisTO SUPPORT MY WORK, JOIN THE COMMUNITY OF PREMIUM SUBMARINES ON PATREON. [You can also find this link by visiting my website at backfromtheborderline.com] WANT TO SPONSOR THE PODCAST? [email backfromtheborderline@gmail.com] TO SIGN UP FOR MY FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER: click here. Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. acast+ audio-only listener benefits https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    it makes perfect sense why we're all sick and fucking tired

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 28, 2023 83:10


    What do “emotionally disturbed” people, poets, artists, and burnt-out therapists all have in common? We're all sick and fucking tired, of what, you might ask? Of the systems that benefit from us STAYING sick and fucking tired. In this episode, you'll hear a piece of spoken-word poetry and condemnation of forced psychiatric hospitalization by Anita D that will rattle the cage of your soul; a vulnerable confession from YouTuber and filmmaker Daniel Mackler about why he quit being a therapist; and a newly released article by Dr. Bruce Levine, a practicing clinical psychologist (and previous Back from the Borderline guest), about how psychiatry's “control freak model” is contributing to the severe emotional suffering and behavioral disturbances it claims to reduce. I'll also analyze the recent viral fame of Oliver Anthony (real name Christopher Anthony Lunsford), whose song “Rich Men of Richmond” has made him an unlikely (and unwilling) star, who has chosen to use his newfound platform to call out politicians on both sides of the aisle for the bastardization of his art and his original message. It is my hope that this episode can validate and vindicate victims of the predatory systems that see us as nothing more than users, customers, consumers, and patients. Resources mentioned in this episode are below. Please support and follow the work of these fierce and fearless change-makers. ✧ Spoken word poetry by Anita D (“And The Psych Ward Says”) via “Button Poetry” on YouTube [click here to watch] ✧ Follow Anita D on Instagram @anitadpoetry ✧ Why I Quit Being a Therapist by Daniel Mackler [click here to watch on YouTube] ✧ Psychiatry's Control-Freak Medical Model Versus Healing and Healers by Dr. Bruce Levine ✧ Click here to listen to my full interview with Dr. Bruce Levine (“The Crisis of Contemporary Psychiatry”) ✧ Oliver Anthony's YouTube channel [click here to listen + subscribe) ✧ Original viral video of “Rich Men North of Richmond” posted by Radio West Virginia [click here to listen] To listen to my mystical bedtime story podcast, search “Night Night Bitch” on your favorite podcast player (click here to listen on Spotify or here to listen on Apple Podcasts.) Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. acast+ audio-only listener benefits https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    the dystopian "NPC" TikTok trend is melting our brains

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2023 34:31


    I typically refrain from commenting on trending topics, but I found myself unable to resist discussing this particular one. An unusual (to say the least) TikTok trend has emerged, where users live-stream themselves portraying an “NPC”—essentially an automated “non-player character” with pre-written dialogue. This includes uttering nonsensical phrases like “ice cream so good” in response to gifts from their audience. This trend is spreading rapidly and leaving many of us utterly perplexed. NPCs, or “non-player characters,” are common elements within various video games. These characters aren't under the player's control but engage with players through predetermined dialogue to drive the storyline. The mechanical demeanor of these characters has led to comparisons, inspiring the name of the TikTok NPC trend. In this episode, I'll share my perspective on this trend through my personal experiences, having been involved in sex work and online streaming previously. Is this all harmless entertainment, or does it highlight a more significant concern where we willingly commodify ourselves for financial gain? How far will we allow this to go? Join me as I delve into this dystopian scenario. Topics explored and questions answered in this episode: ★ What is an NPC? ★ What is the NPC meme and how and when did it begin trending?  ★ What is the NPC trend on TikTok?★ What is NPC streaming and how much do NPC streamers make?★ What impact does this robotic trend-following behavior have on us as a collective?  ★ Does social media make it easier for us to dehumanize one another?★ How in the hell do we make our way out of this dystopian nightmare? TO SIGN UP FOR MY FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER: click here. TO JOIN THE COMMUNITY ON PATREON, click here. TO LISTEN TO MY SECOND PODCAST, NIGHT NIGHT BITCH: Search “Night Night Bitch” on your favorite podcast player (click here to listen on Spotify or here to listen on Apple Podcasts.) Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. acast+ audio-only listener benefits https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Moving through control and codependency to get your needs met in a healthy way

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2023 102:59


    Are you tired of feeling like your intimate relationships just aren't fulfilling? Do you find yourself getting resentful and angry at your partner because they don't seem as excited to see you or make as much effort as they used to? Well, you're not alone.In today's episode, we're going to explore the topic of codependency and unrealistic expectations in relationships. We'll talk about the concept of control dramas and how they can push love away, leaving you feeling frustrated and unfulfilled.We'll also be responding to a voicemail from a listener who's struggling with these issues and is afraid she's sabotaging her chance at finding true love and intimacy. By the end of the episode, you'll have a better understanding of how to identify your needs in a relationship and how to communicate them to your partner in a way that doesn't end in an emotional explosion.So, grab a cup of tea, sit back, and join me as we explore the ins and outs of codependency and how to create healthy and fulfilling relationships.

    Are your personality masks blocking access to your true Self?

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2023 76:33


    In this episode, we explore the topic of personality masks and how they can block access to your true Self. To understand this complex and nuanced topic, we'll start by understanding exactly how to understand the concepts of “Self” and “personality” and examine the signs that might indicate that you're “masking” your true personality.You'll learn how to spot the signs that might indicate that you're masking your true Self and discuss why many of us resort to personality masks as a defense or coping mechanism while shedding light on the various mental health conditions commonly associated with masking (ADHD, Autism, BPD, to name a few.)Also provided in this episode are tips on how to tell if you're masking, along with examples of personality masking behaviors. We examine the different types of personality masks people commonly use and reveal the negative consequences of personality masking (especially when it happens unconsciously).If you suspect you're masking, this episode will help you understand how to begin the journey of unmasking and connecting with a version of yourself that feels more authentic and aligned.

    Breaking Down the Intersection of Autism and BPD and the Stigma of 'Disorder' Labels with Dr. Jay Watts

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 21, 2023 95:11


    Are you interested in exploring the often-overlooked connection between Autism and BPD/EUPD? In this episode, Dr. Jay Watts and I dive deep into the topic, discussing the reasons why women and AFAB individuals are less likely to be diagnosed with autism and exploring common autistic traits that are missed in women.Listeners will gain insight into the coping strategies of autistic "masking" and "camouflaging" that are often missed in women and girls, as well as the characteristic "special interests" of women with autism. Together, we also unpack the harmful stigma that arises from the BPD/EUPD labels and how people with these labels are stigmatized in psychiatric settings.Recent events, such as the reversal of the decision to remove BPD and EUPD labels from the ICD-10 due to issues with the American insurance systems, highlight the urgent need for a more nuanced understanding of psychiatric labels. We explore how BPD and cPTSD traits are rooted in trauma and touch on the chronic feelings of emptiness and suicidality experienced by individuals with these labels.Finally, we delve into the potentially harmful effects of DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) and the importance of informed consent in psychiatric treatment when it comes to treatment modalities and psychiatric medications.Join Dr. Watts and me as we unpack the complex intersections of Autism and BPD/EUPD and challenge the stigma surrounding psychiatric labels.ABOUT OUR GUESTDr. Jay Watts is a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, senior lecturer, and dedicated mental health activist working in London. Dr. Watts has held many senior clinical and managerial roles in academia and the National Health Service in the UK and has taught clinical skills in clinical psychology, counseling psychology, and psychoanalytic training courses.Activism is also a core part of Jay's personal and professional identity. She believes in the importance of highlighting both the helpful and potentially harmful nature of psychology and psychotherapy. Jay is consistently using her own social capital, clinical experience, and research skills to assist grassroots organizations and survivor groups.JAY'S RECOMMENDED RESOURCES■ Follow Jay on Twitter @Shrink_at_Large■ Jay's articles about BPD and trauma can be found here■ Protest letter about removing BPD from the diagnostic manual, ICD11 can be found here■ A Simple Guide To Avoid Receiving A Diagnosis Of ‘Personality Disorder'■ Should CAMH professionals be diagnosing BPD in adolescence?■ Join the campaigns mentioned by Jay on Twitter using:  #TraumaNotPD and #AutismNotPD

    The Sober Curious Movement: A Dialectical Approach to Alcohol Use

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 14, 2023 52:06


    Lately, I've been seeing quite a few viral videos that mention a “sober curious” lifestyle, and it got me... curious. So I decided to find out all I could and share it with the pod fam. In this episode, we'll dive into the growing movement and explore the benefits and challenges of a life without alcohol. From personal stories of transformation to advice from some of the movement's founders, this episode will give you the insights and inspiration you need to start your own sober curious journey if you so choose.  Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ The origins and evolution of the sober curious movement■ Understanding the concept of "sober curious" and its impact on society■ Exploring the meaning and benefits of mindful drinking■ Examining the reasons behind declining alcohol consumption among members of Gen-ZReferenced resources: ■ Book: “Sober Curious” by Ruby Warrington ■ Book: “Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice Not to Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol”■ Online Community + Newsletter: Sober Girl Society■ BBC Article: “Why Gen Zers Are growing up sober curious”[Heads up, I've never read the books above or participated in the Sober Girl Society community, so I can't vouch for their effectiveness/quality – but since I mentioned them in the episode, I provided links in case listeners wish to dive deeper.]

    Am I crazy, or are they gaslighting me?

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 7, 2023 59:45


    A BFTB listener named Jade called into the pod because she's been made to feel like the “crazy one” in her relationship. Naturally, I felt this called for an entire episode on gaslighting and high-conflict couples. Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Understanding Gaslighting: What it is and its Effects■ Spot the Signs: Identifying if Your Partner is Gaslighting You■ Mental Health Stigma: Ways People Who Are Open About their Mental Health are Gaslit into “Self-Blame”■ Seeking Couple's Therapy: Discussing the Need with Your Partner■ Emotional Intelligence: Navigating Triggers in Relationships■ Conflict Resolution: Self-Soothing Techniques for High-Conflict Couples■ Relationship Improvement: Ending the Blame Game in Your Partnership

    Blindsided by Betrayal: Learning to Love Again After Infidelity

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2023 45:34


    Loads of listeners have been calling in and leaving voicemails about how to navigate relationship difficulties. In this week's episode, we'll be hearing from Liz, who is currently struggling with feelings of guilt and shame after convincing herself that she's the reason her boyfriend's friend group evicted him from his apartment. We'll also check in with Otillia, who is recovering from discovering the person she'd been seeing had been hiding a pregnant girlfriend.The episode at a glance (topics explored and questions answered):■ Strategies for Rebuilding Confidence after Receiving Negative Feedback■ Coping with the Emotional Impact of Guilt and Shame■ Techniques for Managing Social Anxiety in New Situations■ Tips for Building Relationships with a Partner's Friends■ Ways to Move Forward After Experiencing Infidelity or Cheating

    The Secret to Moving On: Healing from a Traumatic Breakup

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2023 90:22


    Are you struggling to move on from a traumatic breakup? You're not alone. In this episode, we delve into the emotional and psychological journey of healing. From understanding the grieving process to rebuilding your self-worth, I've got you covered. Join me as we explore the steps to finding closure and discovering the strength to love again.Concepts explored in this episode: • Healing through Helping Others: Using Altruism to Overcome Dark Moments in Mental Health • Breaking the Cycle of Pain: Understanding Limerence and How it Affects Breakups• Navigating Obsession vs. Love: How to Recognize the Difference• Avoiding the Toxic Patterns of Limerence: Lessons from Leonardo DiCaprio's Relationships• Trauma-Bonding: Understanding its Role in Adult Relationships• Limerence and Trauma-Bonding: Uncovering the Connection• Breaking the "One" Myth: Why You Should Stop Searching for the Perfect Partner• Emotions and Limiting Beliefs: Navigating Difficult Breakup Feelings• Guided Visualization for Healing: A Practical Exercise to Move Through Breakup PainDisclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. 

    Overcoming Executive Dysfunction: "Why can't I just do the THING?"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2023 84:08


    Are you struggling to get organized and achieve your goals? Do you find it difficult to plan for the future, control your emotions and impulses, or stay on task? If so, you may be experiencing executive dysfunction.Executive functioning is a hot topic in the world of neurodiversity, particularly when it comes to ADHD emotion dysregulation. But what exactly is executive dysfunction and how does it affect our daily lives?In this podcast episode, we delve into the topic of executive dysfunction and explore its root causes. By gaining a deeper understanding of this condition, you'll be able to create a more fulfilling and authentic life, and take the first steps towards improving your executive functioning.Don't miss this informative and empowering episode as we discuss the concept of executive dysfunction, its impact on your life, and ways to overcome it. Tune in now and start taking control of your life.Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Learn about executive functions and their role in cognitive functioning■ Discover the symptoms and causes of executive dysfunction■ Understand the impact of executive dysfunction on daily life and functioning■ Explore the connection between childhood development and executive dysfunction■ Hear Gabor Maté's unique perspective on ADHD and its relationship to executive dysfunction■ Find practical tips and strategies for managing and overcoming executive dysfunctionDisclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. The end of this episode contains a preview of the newest episode of my Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health – a series available only for my Premium Submarines.   

    Mental Illness is Not in Your Head

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2023 93:22


    This episode will provide information that most members of the public are unaware of. After you listen, you will be better informed, better prepared to advocate for yourself and the people you love when seeking treatment and care for mental health, and likely more than a little shocked, appalled, and saddened. We need to face brutal truths, and knowledge is power. In his article, “Mental Illness Is Not in Your Head,” (published in May 2022), historian of medicine and psychiatry resident at Yale University Marcos Ramos, MD, Ph.D., demonstrates how even after decades of research, we have not seen improvements around diagnosis or treatment of mental illness. Ramos believes “we should look to society,” not the brain. Recommended resources:  ■ Full article from the Boston Review – “Mental Illness Is Not in Your Head” by Marco Ramos■ Follow Marcos on Twitter (@mramos_histmed) Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.  

    How Scott beat the odds while parenting as a man with BPD traits

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 3, 2023 78:57


    A while back, I received a voicemail from 67-year-old Scott Schaeffer – his story and experience struck such a profound cord that I reached out to him to see if he'd be interested in sharing more with the listeners of the podcast. What resulted was this episode – and one of the most incredible interviews I've done to date. With the help of a supportive and well-informed psychotherapist, Scott realized that he identified heavily with the traits of borderline personality disorder. As a child, he endured severe physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his father and struggled to reconcile his mother's inability to protect him and his siblings. Through it all, he was able to nurture a decades-long healthy relationship with his wife and stop the cycle of abuse by parenting his daughter. Years ago, Scott found the courage to leave a cushy corporate job and pursue his passion. He and his wife now run a thriving business that specializes in healing aggression, separation anxiety, and other behavioral issues in dogs who, to many, might seem like “lost causes.” Their reputation for working magic and considering the entire family system when working with animals and their owners means they now have a months-long waiting list to work with them. Scott is living proof that ANYONE can heal and change. Regardless of your age or gender, Scott's story will inspire anyone who struggles with generational family trauma, emotion dysregulation, validation addiction, self-confidence issues, and a longing to find a solid sense of identity, meaning, and purpose in life.   ​Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode: ■ How Scott realized he needed help (“everything felt like a conscious effort”)■ The empowerment that comes with having concrete terms to describe hard-to-explain patterns of behavior■ How BPD “splitting” (black-and-white or all-or-nothing thinking) can harm our relationships with ourselves and the people we love■ Validation addiction: how to stop being an approval addict■ The role childhood trauma and abuse play in the early development of BPD symptoms and traits■ How highly sensitive children in toxic and dysfunctional family systems are often “canaries in the coal mine.”■ Parents with BPD traits (parenting skills for mothers and fathers who identify with traits of borderline personality disorder)■ “Hurt people hurt people” – how generational trauma and abuse play out in family systems■ How Scott broke the cycle of generational trauma with his own family■ Why cis-gendered heterosexual males don't often get diagnosed with BPD (how the medical model of mental health fails men with traits of borderline personality disorder) Connect with Scott at https://www.usadogbehavior.com/. Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.  

    The hidden knowledge that will help you find the best therapists (and avoid harmful ones)

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 27, 2022 46:42


    To be able to best advocate for yourself when seeing a mental health professional, it is essential that you have at least a base-level understanding of the different theoretical and philosophical approaches to understanding mental health, disorder, illness, distress, oppression, and abuse. The dominant framework in most Western countries is the medical model – this model pathologizes the human experience. It attempts to explain away suffering and trauma by labeling certain behaviors (and personalities) as “disordered” or by saying symptoms are caused by chemical imbalances in our brains. There is just one problem with the medical model of mental health: it is just a theory. It is not proven. Most mental health professionals are fully aware of this; they don't discuss it with patients. In this episode, we discuss the other theoretical frameworks of mental health that are emerging with new research – primarily the “trauma-informed” framework - and why many believe this is a more effective (and much less harmful) way of approaching mental health treatment. Together, we'll explore all of the currently existing models of mental health: ■ The medical model■ The social model■ The biopsychosocial model■ The trauma-informed model Through the discussion, analysis, and critiques of each of these models, you will come away better informed and more prepared to advocate for yourself when seeking mental health care. This may also illuminate and validate why some individuals have felt worse after seeing a mental health provider who is 100% bought into the medical model. Recommended resources: ■ The IG post by Dr. Jessica Taylor that inspired this episode■ Article by Mad in America | “Researchers Critique the Medical Model”■ YouTube video by Dr. James Davies | Mental Health, Capitalism & the Sedation of a Nation Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and peer-support purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.  

    When you finally wake up to the pain you've caused the people you love

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 20, 2022 50:17


    I received a voicemail from a listener who was feeling overwhelmed with guilt. In a moment of emotional dysregulation, she had lost her sh*t with some close friends, who hadn't spoken to her since. She wanted advice on dealing with the natural guilt that comes up when we've unconsciously hurt people we love. I talk a lot on the podcast about the “I am the problem” moment many of us who identify with BPD traits experience along the path of recovery. It's a painful but essential step. The key is not to wallow in shame or self-hatred but to get to the root cause of why we lash out at people we love.   In this episode, I'll explain why these “episodes” or “blow-ups” along the path of recovery don't have to mean that you're back at square one. We'll explore the concept of “atonement” and why it's so important in healing yourself (and your relationships.) ​Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode: ■ “Am I the problem in my relationship?” (Facing and overcoming our own toxicity)■ Signs you might be emotionally abusing people you love■ Realizing your mistakes and taking accountability■ Investigating the root cause of your mistakes and abusive behaviors■ Healing the issues that caused your mistakes and abusive behaviors■ Admitting your mistakes and asking for forgiveness (when possible)■ How to sincerely make amends for the hurt you've caused people you love■ The importance of practicing new, corrected behaviors (walking the walk)■ How to ACTUALLY forgive yourself after hurting someone Recommended resources: ■ Article by Jim Tolles | “7 steps to Atoning for Pain You've Caused Another”■ TedTalk by Kristin Neff | “The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion”■ YouTube video with Lisa Romano | “Verbal Abuse in Relationships” Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and peer-support purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.  

    Is diagnosing a still-developing teen with borderline personality disorder harmful or helpful?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2022 54:02


    I've received countless emails, direct messages, and voicemails about borderline personality disorder in teens. This topic is a total hot potato (in other words, it makes many mental health professionals uncomfortable AF.) Some of the most frequently asked (and Googled) questions as it relates to teenagers and BPD are: ■ How to HELP a teenager with borderline personality disorder■ How to PARENT a teenager with borderline personality disorder■ How to DEAL WITH a teenager with borderline personality disorder To answer those questions, we must first answer a more over-arching and more nuanced question: is it ethical or helpful to slap a still-developing teenager with a personality disorder diagnosis label? I attempted to tackle this extremely complicated topic by responding to listener questions from parents and teens. ​Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Three questions to ask yourself before speaking to avoid impulsive verbal reactions that I learned from the Netflix series "The Crown" (yes, seriously) ■ How to use the “campsite rule” to improve your interpersonal relationships (a term coined by podcaster Dan Savage)■ Why have providers historically been hesitant to diagnose teenagers with BPD■ Do parents cause their children to develop BPD?■ How parents can deal with the guilt that arises when their children develop what seem like BPD traits■ How to cope with splitting behaviors in teenagers who display BPD traits Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and peer-support purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.  

    When your issues with emotional dysregulation make it hard to hold down a job

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2022 73:50


    Let's face it: we have to work to live. The unfortunate reality is that those who identify with symptoms of what is known as borderline personality disorder (BPD or EUPD), as well as other disorder labels like complex post-traumatic stress disorder (cPTSD), often find it hard to “hold down a job.” These individuals are often highly sensitive, reactive, creative, intuitive, and intense. The workplace can be highly triggering for anyone grappling with trauma recovery. It's all too common to feel that we have to take/do jobs that we hate and end up sacrificing our creative passions. In this episode, we will discuss the common issues and triggers that can arise for us in the workplace and how to best handle and move through them. We'll also dive into how we can move towards work that we love – something that can feel impossible but doesn't have to be. This one's for you if you feel like you jump from job to job and find yourself repeating patterns that cause chaos and discontentment in your professional life. Trust me: there is hope. ​​Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Can someone with symptoms of BPD or cPTSD keep or maintain a job?  ■ Why do people who identify with BPD or cPTSD impulsively quit their jobs, regardless of the consequences?  ■ Signs you might be a chronic “job hopper” and what to do about it (and why it isn't ALWAYS a bad thing)■ Can someone with BPD have a successful career (spoiler alert: YES)■ Can BPD symptoms make you unable to work?  ■ The most common struggles people with symptoms of BPD and cPTSD experience in the workplace (issues with authority, gossiping, ruminating, reactivity, fear of rejection, tying self-worth to work, etc.)■ The connection between BPD identity issues and choosing a long-term career■ Why it can feel impossible to find work we actually enjoy doing (and how to overcome this)■ BPD and work performance (BPD and losing jobs)   Resources mentioned:■ Essay by Paul Graham: “How To Do What You Love”■ Twitter thread by Billy Oppenheimer: “12 habits and principles for doing your best creative work”■ Book by Elizabeth Gilbert: “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear” Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.  

    Transform the way you view love and intimacy for good (ft. Zaz)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2022 62:05


    My amazing partner in crime (and life) Zaz returns to the podcast to answer your burning questions about love, sex, and relationships. Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Signs of verbal and emotional abuse in intimate relationships ■ How to stop emotionally abusing the people you love (and how to deal with the inevitable shame that comes up while working through these issues) ■ How to stop obsessing over a new crush or new potential love interest■ How delaying sex can make for better relationships in the long run■ What are your values? (How to discover what's REALLY important to you in life and how this can help tackle identity issues) ■ Why it's so important for couples to talk about their core values ■ The impact unhealed (and unconscious) emotion dysregulation issues have on intimate partnerships Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Premium subscribers unlock my private podcast feed and gain instant access to full episodes and HOURS of exclusive bonus content with additional resources. Click the link at the bottom to learn more. ↓ Become a premium subscriber at https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    You gotta zoom WAY the hell out, buttercup.

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2022 38:11


    A voicemail from Thiago in Brazil and a direct message from Noura in Egypt reminded me why I started this podcast in the first place and why so many of us resonate with the concept of feeling starved at a spiritual level – constantly grappling with feelings of brokenness and perpetual emptiness. There's only one way out of the pits of hell caused by this thinking: zooming the f*ck out. If you have a question you'd like me to answer on a future episode, you can submit it via email at backfromtheborderline@gmail.com or record a voicemail at backfromtheborderline.com. (I don't reply to emails/voicemails directly.) If you want to learn more about zooming out and considering higher/broader perspectives, I've included a few places to start below. (Don't forget, this is YOUR journey – you need to follow your OWN spiritual breadcrumbs.) “How Do We Break the Habit of Excessive Thinking?” with Eckhart Tolle“How to re-frame a challenging moment and feel empowered?” with Gabor Maté MD“Let your relationships become a vehicle for freedom” with Ram Dass“The principal of not forcing” with Alan Watts“Holding the tension of the opposites” with Marion Woodman Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Premium subscribers unlock my private podcast feed and gain instant access to full episodes and HOURS of exclusive bonus content with additional resources. Click the link at the bottom to learn more. ↓ Become a premium subscriber at https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    What the actual f*ck is a baby borderline? (and other random musings)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2022 45:35


    Topics discussed in this episode: ■ Bo Burnham (creator of “Inside”) and his thoughts on social media■ My own struggle of trying to find a conscious and mindful relationship to social media and why I took a 4-month hiatus from Instagram■ What is a “baby borderline” and how does this archetype view a BPD diagnosis■ How my thoughts and feelings toward the psychiatric institution and DSM have changed since starting the podcast■ Analyzing Dr. Jessica Taylor's YouTube video from 2019 sharing her reaction to the FDA approving a “miracle drug” for borderline personality disorder■ What is “grounding” or “earthing”  and how can support emotion regulation?■ How to practice grounding or earthing in the cold winter monthsAdditional resources: ■ Ep. 340 of the Minimalists Podcast where they discuss the benefits of grounding with earthing expert Clint Ober■ Clint Ober's website earthing.com (a reputable place to purchase earthing products – I am not paid by this company, I just like/trust the products) Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.  

    When it feels like borderline personality disorder is tearing your family apart

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2022 52:40


    Are you a family member seeking to support and better understand someone you love who struggles with or identifies with the symptoms of borderline personality disorder? I sat down with returning podcast guest, licensed clinical social worker Catherine Humenuk to discuss how to best support and love someone who struggles with symptoms of BPD (EUPD.) Questions and topics Catherine and I tackle in our discussion: ■ NEABPD's Family Connections program (a free, evidence-based, 12-class course that meets for 2 hours weekly)■ How “validation” can help someone with BPD (and other communication skills for family members of individuals struggling with borderline personality disorder symptoms)■ Can you take a pill to cure BPD? (exploring various medications and treatments often used for individuals diagnosed with borderline personality disorder)■ The importance of keeping up to date on the newest and most up-to-date research about personality disorders, trauma, and emotion dysregulation■ Understanding BPD in teens (and more on how to help teenagers who identify with symptoms of borderline personality disorder)■ Why are more cis-gendered women diagnosed with BPD than cis-gendered men? (And how does this relate to the rest of the gender spectrum?)■ Borderline personality disorder statistics (how common is BPD in the United States?)■ When do the first signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder develop? (How BPD can “wax and wane” through life)■ How impulsivity in borderline personality disorder can impact intimate relationships■ Do all “borderlines” act the same? Are they all doomed to live miserable lives? (Spoiler alert: not even close

    “It's you and me against BPD” (Exploring complex borderline personality disorder with Dr. Daniel Fox)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2022 65:36


    In this episode, we welcome back to the podcast personality disorder expert Dr. Daniel Fox, a licensed psychologist, international speaker, and award-winning author of “The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook” and “Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affects Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance.” In this interview with Dr. Fox, we discuss how common it is for people with BPD symptoms to feel like they are irreparably and permanently broken. Through an exploration of the concepts in his new book and by answering some questions from podcast listeners, Dan and I dive deep into the feelings of shame and guilt that stem from the childhood abuse and neglect that eventually lead to the development of BPD traits, as well as the explosive and impulsive behaviors that often sabotage our attempts to connect with those we love in adulthood. The goal of this episode is to help you see that you already have inside of you all that you need to begin putting the broken pieces of yourself back together and offer yourself the self-compassion and forgiveness required to start healing more meaningfully. As Dan beautifully puts it, “you're not a horrible person; you're a PERSON.” ​​

    The root cause of "borderline rage" (How unhealthy anger can literally kill us and how to stop the damage)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2022 78:45


    Extreme and overpowering anger is something many who identify with symptoms of borderline personality disorder struggle most deeply with. It's so intense that it's often called “borderline rage.” However, most online resources and many therapeutic interventions fail to get to the root cause of anger. Therefore, most of those struggling with these feelings continue to lash out and destroy their lives and relationships. By the end of this episode, you'll more deeply understand yourself and have spiritual and practical strategies that will help you get more deeply in touch with your feelings of anger and rage and learn how to metabolize them and begin to see them as your teachers. ​​

    It's about time we discuss dissociation in BPD and feeling f*cking crazy

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2022 61:46


    Do you ever feel like you momentarily completely detach from reality? Have you been scared to talk about these feelings and experiences with other people out of fear of being called delusional or “crazy?” Dissociation during times of stress or vulnerability is one of the main symptoms that people who identify with traits of borderline personality disorder (EUPD) may experience. In BPD, dissociation is linked to other symptoms, such as emotion dysregulation and disrupted identity. By the end of this episode, you'll have a better understanding of dissociation. You'll learn how common this experience is and how to ground yourself more deeply in the present moment to stop yourself from spiraling and panicking when feelings of dissociation inevitably arise. ​​

    You've been looking at identity disturbance and BPD all wrong (why your search for a "self" is pointless)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2022 106:18


    Out of all the traits of borderline personality disorder (BPD / EUPD), one often referenced as the most difficult to tackle is the feeling of lacking a sense of self – also referred to as “identity disturbance.” Individuals who identify with traits of BPD often try to find themselves in other people, places, and things, only to continue feeling empty and stuck. Some feel like if only they could “heal” their trauma, they could figure out who they really are. This is the core of identity diffusion.Struggles with identity can also lead to imposter syndrome. Others may find themselves constantly questioning their needs/desires (i.e., "do I *actually* want this, or am I doing it just to impress others?")In this episode, we're diving DEEP. To truly overcome the pain of an obsessive search for a sense of self, we may have to face the possibility that maybe we need to abandon the search altogether. Perhaps THAT is where healing has been hiding all along. To understand what I mean, listen to the end of the episode. I can't promise that you'll be "cured," but I CAN promise you'll never look at the concept of identity the same way again. ​​

    BPD splitting: little-known cognitive hacks guaranteed to dismantle black and white thinking

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2022 94:17


    Splitting (also known as “all-or-nothing” thinking) is a trait and symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD) that robs you of your peace. It damages relationships. The truth is that splitting is only one of the many different cognitive distortions that are likely causing most of your mental and emotional suffering. In this episode of the podcast, you'll learn about ALL the different types of cognitive distortions. You'll also discover how to use cognitive restructuring and Socratic questioning to increase your awareness of your distorted thought patterns and begin questioning their validity.​​

    Viewing BPD symptoms through the lens of narrative therapy can help you change your story once and for all

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2022 68:22


    The issue with many current BPD treatments is that they are focused squarely on the individual – these therapies (like DBT or CBT) primarily focus on coping skills – which are helpful, no doubt – but these same therapeutic modalities fail to get “under the hood.” Skills alone can't help us get to the *true* heart of the matter: the systemic components of what we view as a society as “disordered behavior.” Many individuals who identify with the symptoms of BPD or have a formal diagnosis find themselves still feeling empty and without a sense of identity, even after completing full DBT programs. In today's episode, we'll explore a form of therapy that targets the root cause of many of the most painful symptoms of BPD: narrative therapy. After listening, you'll learn how to begin to incorporate some of the core concepts of narrative therapy into your life today so that you can start to transform the way you view yourself and the way you move through the world.  

    Did your BPD symptoms develop to help you survive and adapt as a helpless child in a dysfunctional environment?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2022 65:11


    Looking at the psychological suffering of humans through a medical lens has taken center stage for as long as many of us can remember. However, more and more - especially in recent months - the biomedical model has come under fire. Research published in the last few months by psychiatrist Joanna Moncrieff and her team at Kings College in London has proven without a shadow of a doubt that the “serotonin hypothesis” (the idea that mental illnesses - predominantly depression - are caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain) is nothing more than a myth. A myth with dire consequences. At this very moment, millions of people honestly believe that they are experiencing signs and symptoms of mental disorders and illnesses because something is chemically wrong with their brains - and these “imbalances” can be passed down from generation to generation. This new research by Dr. Moncrieff is rattling the entire psychiatric establishment. And when old views come crumbling down, new ones emerge. And that's exactly what is happening now. This new paradigm encourages us to Zoom out. To view our psychological suffering from a design perspective instead of a “disorder” perspective. Maybe, just maybe. There's nothing wrong with the way your brain is working. Perhaps - it's responding exactly as it believes it needs to keep you safe. To help you survive. Through this new lens, we can begin to see painful symptoms as natural responses. Responses we can learn to become aware of and change, rather than constantly monitoring our behavior for cues or signs that we are somehow broken or “disordered.” This new framework can also help us move forward from the unhelpful cycle of blaming our caregivers for how our lives continue to spiral out of our control and take a higher evolutionary perspective as to why they responded and reacted the way they did when we were growing up. As children, our brains are incredibly sensitive. Even seemingly minor occurrences can be seen as devastating realities of abandonment, neglect, and trauma. These early experiences carve deeply ingrained patterns and become the framework through which we see the world and other people. What if you could break free from this framework? What if by becoming AWARE of this framework and seeing your symptoms as an adaptation rather than a sign that you are dysfunctional, “disordered,” or broken? Would that change the way you viewed yourself? Would it change the hope you have for your future? This is precisely what we'll be discussing in today's episode with my guest, philosophy professor, and author Justin Garson. 

    Your caveman desires are standing in the way of TRUE happiness

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2022 60:23


    Many who identify with symptoms of borderline personality disorder find themselves wanting to “get better.” This often leads to therapy (which is great), which leads to learning skills in therapeutic modalities like CBT or DBT (also great.) However, what is also common is that these very same people find that the “skills” aren't enough. Maybe you've done all your research. You've been to therapy. You've learned the skills. But you're still unhappy and stuck in a perpetual loop of chronic boredom and emptiness. The missing piece you've been looking for is taking the time to “get under the hood” of your BPD symptoms and digging into the “why” of your suffering.We've all been sold a lie about what happiness is. In this episode, we'll untangle this complicated concept so that you can begin to see that you may have been looking at happiness all wrong your entire life. We can enter the process of true and lasting recovery only when we see clearly. In this episode, we're diving deep into the core reason for our suffering: our biological need for the next dopamine fix—the never-ending chase of the next “desirable” people, person, or thing.​​

    Underrated recovery hacks known to help you change the beliefs that are holding you back

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2022 60:20


    So what are these "underrated recovery hacks", you ask? The majority of people I speak to who are struggling with BPD symptoms tell me how badly they want to change. They know their "toxic" patterns. They know the cycles they continue to repeat that continue to sabotage their change at peace and intimacy. They KNOW. But here's the thing: it's really f*cking hard to change your behavior. Let me tell you the biggest lesson I've learned in my journey so far: changing your beliefs = changing your behaviors. In today's episode, we'll challenge a lot of the deeply held beliefs that might be holding you back. I'll discuss why my current social media break might become a permanent decision, how major social networks are transitioning from “social media” to “recommendation media,” and how this can affect our emotional regulation. I'll also address a recent (somewhat critical) review on the podcast from someone who finds empowerment in the BPD label. This review inspired me to expand upon why I will continue to be outspoken regarding the (potentially) harmful and damaging impact of BPD diagnoses and how our cognitive biases can get in the way of our recovery process. I finish by discussing a few voicemails and emails from listeners. Topics include improving communication skills, developing a “growth mindset,” stopping obsessing over our partner's social media activity, and starting fresh in a relationship after BPD symptoms have eroded trust and intimacy. ​​

    Is Jeanette McCurdy REALLY glad her mom died? (The impact of emotional incest and enmeshment)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2022 106:33


    Former Nickelodeon child-star Jeannette MucCurdy's provocatively titled new book “I'm Glad My Mom Died” became a near-instant New York Times bestseller after its release in August 2022. The Audible version of the book is narrated by Jeanette herself and details her struggles with disordered eating, alcohol addiction, OCD, unstable relationships and – most notably – her extremely complicated relationship with her codependent, overbearing, and abusive mother. One review of the book on Goodreads states, “This isn't just a look at how horrifying Hollywood is (especially for child stars) but it's also a harrowing depiction of how manipulative love can be. The way a parent's all-consuming love for their child can be weaponized and watered to grow into something this vile and life-altering is absolute insanity.” In this episode, I discuss my reflections on the book. Through dissecting Jeannette's experiences she so bravely shared in this memoir, we'll dive into what we can learn about parentification, enmeshment (also known as “emotional incest”) and the devastating impact these kinds of toxic family dynamics can have on childhood development that carry on far into adulthood.   CW: child abuse, disordered eating, terminal illness (breast cancer), hoarding, depictions of OCD, depictions of bulimia/purging, gaslighting, emotional manipulation. 

    Billie Eilish said porn destroyed her brain (has it destroyed yours, too?)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2022 78:48


    20-year-old singer-songwriter Billie Eilish opened up about the devastating impact having access to hardcore pornography (as early as age 11) had on the way she came to view herself and her relationship to her own sexuality on a 2021 interview with Howard Stern.In today's episode, we'll unpack Billie's comments and discuss the damaging effects easy access to porn online has had on millennials and Gen-Z, and how those who identify with symptoms of borderline personality disorder are potentially even more at risk of being negatively impacted.I also provide a preview of this week's Premium Access episode, where I react to a prominent YouTuber who creates content for people recovering from what she calls “borderline abuse.”⏱ Key timestamps in this conversation:02:00 – Discussion of our “quote of the week” by Stoic philosopher Epictetus (exploring how those who identify with symptoms of BPD can learn to tackle our issues with control)08:00 – Billie Eilish's comments on porn and an in-depth exploration on BPD and sexuality50:00 – Preview of this week's premium episode on “borderline abuse”​​

    Listen if you are at rock bottom, heartbroken, and questioning the point of life

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2022 33:44


    I received two listener emails this week that ripped my heart open. One was struggling with addiction, and the other was devastated by a recent heartbreak. These voicemails reminded me of why I started my podcast in the first place, so I decided to record this episode. It is a love letter to the person at rock bottom. The person who is so heartbroken, they feel like they can't go on—the person questioning if they even want to be on this earth anymore. Through the words of authors who have inspired me and gotten me through my own dark times, it is my hope that this episode can be a light in the darkness. If it inspires just one person to keep fighting, it will have all been worth it. 

    Helping someone with BPD traits (the best advice for loved ones and families)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2022 80:44


    Coping with traits of borderline personality disorder can be exhausting for both the person experiencing them and those who love them. Splitting episodes, black and white thinking, and extreme emotional dysregulation can make it difficult to form and nurture intimate relationships. Many online resources advise friends and loved ones of those with BPD (EUPD) traits to cut ties or avoid relationships with these individuals altogether – citing that “borderlines” are toxic and incapable of love. This couldn't be further from the truth. Can BPD traits and trauma make navigating intimacy? Sure. There's no denying that. However, if both the person who identifies with BPD and their loved one(s) are open to developing deeper senses of self-awareness and are willing to learn new skills, deep and meaningful relationships can be nurtured. At the beginning of my recovery journey, I wished there was more content like this so that I could listen to it with my partner and family. It can be tough to put your intense feelings into words. I understand. I've been there. I hope this episode can become a helpful (and healing) bridge for individuals who identify with BPD and their loved ones. ​​

    Abusive friendships, men with BPD, and books I'm reading

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2022 95:55


    In this laidback episode, I answer a few listener voicemails. We discuss tough topics like trauma-bonded friendships, why so many more women are diagnosed with BPD than men, and I share some books I've been reading lately that have contributed positively to my recovery journey.​​

    The hidden spiritual gifts buried beneath your BPD traits (ft. Dr. Lisa Miller)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 26, 2022 65:12


    Do people who identify with symptoms of what is known as borderline personality disorder have a unique ability to connect to the transcendent? Are chronic feelings of emptiness less about being “disordered” and more about being spiritually starved? My guest on this episode, Dr. Lisa Miller, seems to think so. Lisa Miller has devoted her career to scientific research proving that spirituality is a natural aspect of our humanity and that our brains become more resilient and robust because of it. We are each born with an innate desire to question the world around us in search of something more. A leading generational psychologist on the benefits of spirituality, Lisa graduated from Yale University and the University of Pennsylvania, earning her doctorate in psychology. She is currently a professor of psychology and education at Teachers College, Columbia University, and the Founder and Director of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute, the first Ivy League graduate program and research institute in spirituality and psychology. In her book The Awakened Brain, Dr. Miller uses science to show that spirituality (different from religious belief) is one of the strongest protective factors against psychological suffering. Her research clearly shows that our physiological development presents us with occasional moments of crisis at certain times in our lives. When we meet those moments of crisis and trauma from a spiritual perspective, we are more protected against psychological suffering in later life stages. Dr. Miller believes that healing from trauma requires bringing greater awareness to the signs and lessons that the universe has for us and bringing those lessons into the future without getting stuck in rumination over the past. ​​

    Let's take an online BPD quiz together and discuss the diagnosis process

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2022 20:45


    This is the second in my “BPD Shorties” series where I tackle some of the most commonly asked questions about borderline personality disorder. I remember when I first found out about BPD and felt like the symptoms described what I was going through, I went straight to Google to find a quiz or test that would tell me whether or not I “had it.” In today's episode, we'll take a PychCentral quiz together titled: “borderline personality disorder test.” We'll also discuss how BPD (EUPD) is formally diagnosed and what types of licensed mental health providers are qualified to do so. ​​

    Reflections on relationships, social media detoxes, and, feeling toxic AF

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2022 73:35


    This episode gives big sitting-down-for-coffee-with-your-big-sister-for-a-heart-to-heart energy. Together, we'll discuss social media and its impact on BPD symptoms, discussing BPD with your family, how to heal after rushing into new relationships too quickly, and the inevitable post-honeymoon phase crash.​​

    What Causes BPD?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2022 27:28


    This is the first in my “BPD Shorties” series where I tackle some of the most commonly asked questions about borderline personality disorder. Often, when someone first discovers that they identify with the symptoms of BPD or are struggling to come to terms with a new diagnosis, they find themselves wondering about the cause. It's only natural to wonder why we ended up experiencing these painful symptoms that can make us feel like life is nearly impossible to bear. In this mini-episode, I'll attempt to tackle this extremely complex and nuanced question with some of the most up-to-date research and my own personal experience. ​​

    Celebrities with BPD: Exploring the traumatic life of Pete Davidson

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2022 96:01


    It's rare for celebrities to acknowledge having a BPD. Given the stigma that exists surrounding the label, who can blame them? American comedian and actor Pete Davidson has always been open about his struggles with his emotions and the serious trauma he's endured throughout his life – he has said he was “in and out” of inpatient treatment facilities since the age of nine. This progressed into troubling episodes of intense emotions, explosions of rage, dissociation, depression, and marijuana addiction. All of this led up to a personal rock-bottom that ended in a borderline personality disorder diagnosis in 2017.In this episode (part one of two), I'll provide the in-depth profile on Pete that the BPD community has always wanted and needed to hear. Together, we'll analyze interviews he's given since his diagnosis as well as some online biographical pieces. Content Warning: This episode contains information about suicide and self-harm which may be triggering to survivors. 

    Painful BPD breakups: finding yourself after losing your favorite person

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 5, 2022 66:43


    Marsha Linehan, creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) once said, “Borderline individuals are the psychological equivalent of third-degree burn patients. They simply have, so to speak, no emotional skin. Even the slightest touch or movement can create immense suffering.” Breakups are hard enough, but for those who identify with symptoms of BPD and have no “emotional skin”, losing the love and companionship of their favorite person can leave them feeling such unbearable pain that life itself is too much to bear. 

    Why a fear of abandonment is at the heart of BPD

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2022 41:11


    One of the nine symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is “frantic attempts to avoid real or perceived abandonment.” A fear of abandonment is a primal fear - it's not possible to get rid of it entirely. It is actually essential for human beings to fear abandonment, because it is a driving force in all our connections. This fear can either interfere with our relationships or reinforce them. No one likes being abandoned. But being abandoned when you have BPD hurts to such an extreme degree that it's hard for the average person to comprehend. Many of the triggers for people who identify with borderline personality disorder are tied to a deep-seated fear that their loved ones will leave them. This episode will help you learn how to deal with fear of abandonment and find a way out of the self-isolating patterns that arise when this fear overtakes our lives. 

    Fear of abandonment in BPD – part 2 (Premium Access)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2022 71:25


    This is part two of our exploration on BPD and fear of abandonment for my premium subscribers! We're taking what we learned in part one and going even deeper. 

    Big BPD Emotions: Everything You Need to Know

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2022 48:45


    People who identify with BPD symptomology are often described as having “no emotional skin.” As human beings, our skin protects us. Without our skin, we'd be much more likely to contract diseases. Our skin is our first line of defense. For people with BPD, this idea of having “no emotional skin” means that we lack a buffer for intense emotions. This leaves us feeling raw and extremely sensitive to everything around us and within us. Something that other people might deem “no big deal” can completely throw us off kilter. It's like we are one big open wound. Everything hurts just that much more. Imagine how much the tiniest bump would hurt you had no skin. For people who identify with BPD, when something that someone else might perceive as “a little sad” happens, we are more likely to slip into what feels to us like all-consuming depression. When we experience what others may feel is a minor inconvenience, we might feel overwhelmed by anxiety-filled terror. A tiny mistake that another person may get over in a matter of minutes, could mean days of cringe-spiraling and self-loathing for the person with BPD. ​​

    BPD: What is it, do you have it, and is it curable?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2022 57:54


    So maybe you've come across an infographic on social media or an article about BPD. You read about the chronic feelings of emptiness, deep fear of abandonment, the unstable or shifting self-image. It all just seems to fit. You might think: “that's me. I've got BPD.” Then the Google rabbit hole begins… I remember being at this place in my journey. It was extremely overwhelming. I found a lot of resources that were helpful, but I also found a lot of information that made me feel like I was a hopeless and horrible person who could never find love or live a meaningful life because BPD was an “incurable lifelong disease.” In this episode, I'll be giving you the BPD basics. The information I wish I would have known at the beginning of my recovery journey that would have saved me a lot of time and suffering. By the end, you'll view BPD in a completely different way. I'll even provide you with some resources that will help you kick start your own journey. 

    Spotting "Spiritual Red Flags" & Cultivating Loving-Kindness

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2022 71:28


    In this episode, you'll join my dog Cody and me on our morning walk in the woods as we discuss “spiritual red flags.” Along my journey towards healing and deeper self-awareness, I've fallen for some stupid new age sh*t. I've wasted money on “Spiritual Gurus™” and coaches. I've gone down the YouTube manifestation rabbit hole. All of it. During our walk, I'll share with you the most important lessons I've learned and the core teachings that have helped me find a semblance of inner peace and spiritual grounding in my life. Notably working on cultivating a “loving-kindness” practice, which I've recently learned from Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön's book, “The Places That Scare You.” At the end of the episode, I answer a few listener questions about struggling to make friends, emotion regulation and the “FP” or “favorite person” relationship in BPD. Resources directly mentioned in the episode:■ The Deep End (Documentary on Hulu about spiritual guru Teal Swan)■ The Gateway (Investigative podcast re the work of Teal Swan)■ The Places That Scare You (Book by Pema Chödrön that inspired this episode)■ Pema Chodron herself walking you through the practice of loving-kindness■ Another talk with Pema (Loving Oneself and Others – Tonglen practice)■ Tonglen Meditation with Pema Chodron Step-by-step walkthrough “how-to” guide for accessing my premium content and private podcast feed: https://www.backfromtheborderline.com/premiumfaq See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

    How Radically Open DBT Helps Those Who Suffer in Silence (Ft. Psychological Associate Larry Dahmer)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2022 106:45


    Are you good at doing things “right,” following the rules, and controlling your emotions? Maybe a little too good? Do people in your life sometimes have a hard time believing how much you're struggling with your mental health because you seem so “high functioning?” If so, you might have an Overcontrolled style of coping. This is a temperamentally based trait that means you are highly detail-focused, attuned to threat, and high in something called inhibitory control. Inhibitory control is the ability to inhibit one's impulses and behaviors. Many people who have an Overcontrolled style of coping look like they have it all together on the outside, but they don't feel like they do, and their suffering often goes unnoticed. Focusing too much on doing everything “right” can lead to rigidity, perfectionism, and loneliness, making it hard to connect with others and enjoy life. My guest on today's episode is Larry Dahmer – a psychological associate at Health Sciences North in Sudbury, Ontario CA who specializes in a new treatment modality for those who struggle with overcontrolled coping styles called Radically Open Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (RO-DBT.) Topics covered in this episode: ■ What is Radically Open Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (RO-DBT)?■ How is RO-DBT different from standard DBT?■ Understanding the problem of emotional overcontrol■ The importance of self-inquiry in RO-DBT■ How emotional overcontrol is praised and encouraged in Western society■ How we can “welcome hopelessness, despair and anxiety as teachers”■ Who might be a good fit for RO-DBT?■ Life-changing stories of transformation that Larry has witnessed in his RO-DBT clients Learn more about RO-DBT at https://www.radicallyopen.net/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

    Claim Back From The Borderline | BPD (EUPD) Recovery Podcast

    In order to claim this podcast we'll send an email to with a verification link. Simply click the link and you will be able to edit tags, request a refresh, and other features to take control of your podcast page!

    Claim Cancel