Podcasts about happier parents

Meg Mitchell Moore is the author of Mansion Beach, a page-turner-y multi POV summer saga with everything you could ask for: a beach, a body, rich people behaving badly but also sometimes not behaving badly, parties, drama and just enough gender-swapped Gatsby to think hard about the meaning of the American Dream. I loved it (KJ here) and I also loved this conversation with Meg, who apparently thinks in multiple POVS and is always just as impatient as I am to feel like the book is done and wonderful when sadly it is… not. #AmReadingMeg: Audio: Great Big Beautiful Life, Emily Henry—Julia WhelanAlso mentioned: Julia Whelan's Thank You for ListeningPrint: The Road to Dalton, Shannon Bowringfrom The Book Shop of Beverly FarmsKJ: Mansion BeachWelcome to Glorious Tuga, Francesca SegalFind Meg at @megmitchellmoore on IG, or visit her website at www.megmitchellmoore.comHEY. Did you know Sarina's latest thriller is out NOW? Rowan Gallagher is a devoted single mother and a talented architect with a high-profile commission restoring an historic mansion for the most powerful family in Maine. But inside, she's a mess. She knows that stalking her ex's avatar all over Portland on her phone isn't the healthiest way to heal from their breakup. But she's out of ice cream and she's sick of romcoms. Watching his every move is both fascinating and infuriating. He's dining out while she's wallowing on the couch. The last straw comes when he parks in their favorite spot on the waterfront. In a weak moment, she leashes the dog and sets off to see who else is in his car. Instead of catching her ex in a kiss, Rowan becomes the first witness to his murder—and the primary suspect.Digital books at: Amazon | Nook | Apple Books | Kobo | Google Play | Audible Physical books at: Bookshop.org | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indigo | More paperback links here!New! Transcripts below!EPISODE 450 - TRANSCRIPTKJ Dell'AntoniaKJ here announcing a new series and a definite plus for paid supporters of Hashtag AmWriting. It's Writing the Book, a conversation between Jenny, who's just finished a blueprint for her next nonfiction book, and me because I've just finished the blueprint for what I hope will be my next novel. Jenny and I are both trying to quote-unquote "play big" with these next go-rounds, which is a meta effort for Jenny as that's exactly what her book is about, and we're basically coaching each other through, trading pages, thoughts and encouragement, as well as some sometimes hard-to-hear honesty about whether we're really going in the right direction. So come all in on team Hashtag AmWriting, and you'll get those Writing the Book episodes right in your pod player along with access to monthly AMAs, the book labs, first pages episodes, and come summer, we shall blueprint once again. So sign yourself up at amwritingpodcast.com.All SpeakingIs it recording? Now it's recording. Yay. Go ahead. This is the part where I stare blankly at the microphone. Try to remember what I'm supposed to be doing. Alright. Let's start over. Awkward pause. I'm gonna rustle some papers. Okay. Now one, two, three.KJ Dell'AntoniaHey, I'm KJ Dell'Antonia, and this is Hashtag AmWriting, the weekly podcast about writing all the things. Short things, long things, pitches, proposals, fiction, nonfiction, memoir, other things I'm probably not thinking of. We are the podcast about sitting down and getting your work done. And I am KJ Dell'Antonia, the author of three novels, The Chicken Sisters, In Her Boots and Playing the Witch Card, as well as a nonfiction book, How to Be a Happier Parent, former editor of The New York Times Motherlode. You've heard all this. With me today, more importantly, is Meg Mitchell Moore, who has written a book that I think you're gonna find is your summer go to. It is called Mansion Beach, and I loved it. And we'll talk about it in a second. She is also the author of Summer Stage, Vacationland, can attest to both of those great reads. The Islanders, Two Truths and a Lie, The Admissions, loved that one too. They're all great. So, anyway, lots of lots of novels in the family saga, sometimes touch of romance, beach, summer, deep, but also page turnery read genre, which is not a genre because that was too long. But, anyway, Meg, thanks for coming to chat.Meg Mitchell MooreThank you for having me. I'm so happy to be here. This is gonna be really fun.KJ Dell'AntoniaSo I've read some of your other books, obviously, and I felt like this one Mansion Beach was you sort of moving to a different this. It's a little how to describe it. You've got a lot of points of view, which you always, you often do, and a little bit of of a mystery, which actually, I've seen you do before, and then you've got a podcast going on so that you can have different people show show off what's happening. I guess I was hoping you would talk about the evolution of style, um, actually, over your whole career, sort of from, like, I'm writing a kind of a basic book with a couple of points of view and third person close, or maybe first person to these bigger, bigger stories with so much more to so much more to offer the reader. That's a really big question. Start wherever you want.Meg Mitchell MooreThat's a great question. I I don't know if it has been such an evolution. I have always written multiple points of view to the point where it makes me crazy. And I wish I could. I wish I could do one or two. I really wish I could. I've tried it. I can't do it. I just can't. My brain doesn't work that way. It's I can't do it. So even my very first novel, which I published in 2011 it was called The Arrivals, that was a much smaller story. So yes, I for sure, I've evolved plot wise, but I remember, and this was when I was brand new and did not know what I was doing, and I was just trying to figure out how to write a novel. I had so many points of view. And I remember my now agent. Maybe she was not my agent then and was becoming my agent, or maybe she was already my agent, but I remember her saying, we have to take out at least like five of these points of view. And it's still, it still has a lot. I just that's how I think those are the kind of books I like to read, usually, not always, for one thing, but it just. Must be how I think I'm always in everybody's head, and it's really hard for me to restrain that. So this book, I don't think, has any more points of view than any other. Might have fewer than some. It does have a mystery.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah it might, then some that I've read, I guess I I, I saw it as different, maybe in part because of the the use of the podcast to frame things.Meg Mitchell MooreYeah that's new. And then it's a bigger, you know, it's a bigger idea. It's a, it's not a retelling of The Great Gatsby, because I don't like to use that word, but it is inspired by The Great Gatsby. So it has definitely some bigger I was looking at bigger themes, maybe from the start. A lot of times I back my way into the themes based on what my characters are doing. I don't always start with the themes, but this time i i was looking at some of those big whether, what's the American dream and what does success mean, and how does money equate with happiness, and some of those bigger questions. And I don't always do that. I might do it in reverse, but I don't always do that first. So I do think it has bigger theme wise, it's bigger maybe plot wise, yeah. And some of the elements, some of the elements that move it along, are a little different. I was working with a new editor for the first time for this. This is my first full book with my new editor. So I think that had something to do with it too, because I think she was probably pushing me for some of those elements that don't come naturally to me, which I think ended up being good for the book.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, it's a little more thriller. Isn't exactly the right word, but there's definitely a page turning mystery in there. I know here's, this is like a so there's a page turning mystery in Mansion Beach, and the question all along for the reader, like, you know somebody is going to die. But I at least did not know who, but I had an advance, and it came as a as a digital book, so I didn't have the cover and I didn't have the blurb on the back, if a reader has those things, are they gonna know?Meg Mitchell MooreInteresting.KJ Dell'AntoniaAre they gonna know? Who it is that that dies?Meg Mitchell MooreI don't think so. I don't think so. The people I know who have read it both ways, I think have not known.KJ Dell'AntoniaThat's good.Meg Mitchell MooreIt's sort of that white lotus effect, you know, for White Lotus fans out there, where there is a mystery, and you care about the mystery, but you also it matters, but it doesn't matter as much as what's going on with everybody else. So I really like that as a framing device. I like watching it and reading it. And I tried it myself this time. I did it a little bit in two truths and a lie as well. I guess that's my only other one that has a dead body, and a lot of people are mad at me for who the person was who died, which I want. And two truths...KJ Dell'AntoniaDon't give it up.Meg Mitchell MooreNo, I won't. So that was interesting, so I hadn't tried it again, and this time I went in a little nervous, because people had been upset with me, particularly my husband. But I I still, I mean, I had the chance not to do what I did in two truths and a lie, and I still chose to. So I still, for me, it was the right thing, but it was an interesting experience. And I didn't try it again for a couple books. And this time I did also because I was playing with some of the Gatsby themes. I mean, Gatsby has three bodies, so I thought, I mean, I should have at least one, so I won't, yeah, I won't give anything away about…KJ Dell'AntoniaNo, don't.Meg Mitchell MooreWho or what or how, but I did enjoy having that as a device to propel it now that also, I don't think that was in the first draft. I don't think there was a body in the first draft. I mean, there were huge changes in this book, and I think that was one of them. I think we decided we needed the body after one draft.KJ Dell'AntoniaWow. Okay, now I'm deeply fascinated, and of course, I'm trying. So I'm trying to make this interesting and useful for those of you who haven't read the book, although you could also stop, go get the book, and read it, and then listen to this, and then it would be even better.Meg Mitchell MooreThat is true.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah. Okay, so let me just start by saying I am actually not a person who typically likes a book where your whole like, like, the question is, you know, either who died or who did it. So Lucy Foley, I've enjoyed some of those, but it's not necessarily my favorite go to genre, but the thing that made this book work great for me was exactly what you just said, that there's so much more to it. You I could see that this story would exist before you added that and that. I mean, that's so cool. And then I also, I'm not a Gatsby person, so neither of those would like, neither of those hooks is going to grab me. But what grabbed me, I think, was the different women, different versions of the American dream.Meg Mitchell MooreMm-hmm.KJ Dell'AntoniaIs that where you started?Meg Mitchell MooreI started… Yeah, I think so I would. Really, yes, I wanted to really look at notions of success, particularly for women today. You know, it's contemporary. It takes place that, you know, in the summer that is coming out, or that, if you actually match up the dates, and I think I messed up the tides and the moon in some places, but it's the summer. So yes, I was very interested in those questions. I was I wanted to have a love triangle, because I think that's interesting, and that's part of Gatsby too. So it's funny that you say you're not a Gatsby person. I think my first, another change from my first draft, was very Gatsby heavy. I think I tried to, I think it just was, I was trying too hard to to do the same thing. And…KJ Dell'AntoniaIt's kind of a reverse-gendered Gatsby.Meg Mitchell MooreIt is, yes, it's reverse gendered. But what I was doing was just, I was just trying to, I don't know what I was doing, but it was a mess. I mean, I always knew I wanted to play with Gatsby, but I tried to do it too closely. And I tried a little first person with the narrator, which that's how Gatsby is told, but I can't write him. Can't write successfully in first person. So that was a mess. And I remember that my editor probably looked at this thing and said, This is what are we doing? But what she said to me nicely was, you need to, like, don't worry so much about Gatsby at all, like you need to free yourself from those constraints, and you need to write the story. And that was the best advice, because that's when it started to come together. So it's more that Gatsby was a jumping off point, and some of those themes, I was so interested in how those themes are so relevant 100 years later, and they are, so I think I needed that as a jumping off point, but I didn't need to, you know, retell it scene by scene, or try to have the narrator feel the same, or do anything like that. And I had some missteps along the way before I figured that out.KJ Dell'AntoniaIt interests me that this doesn't seem to have taken any longer than your other books, did it?Meg Mitchell MooreUh, I felt like it took forever. My books have come out either with note with, you know, a year and then the next summer, or with two summers in between. This one has, this one has an empty summer in between. So I did need that extra writing time for this. And I remember, I always start out thinking I could do this in a year. I'll absolutely and I always hit. I'm a deadline hitter. You know, I always hit the deadlineKJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, you give them something.Meg Mitchell MooreYeah, I was a journalist for a long time. I just, I'm not late on things. I just always, I'm just, I always hit my deadlines, but it might be awful. And so this was nobody actually. I mean, it was pretty awful when I think back to that first draft, and I think that my editor and Agent thought, okay, we can do this. And I looked at it, and I looked at my schedule and my life and my brain, and I thought, I don't think I can do it very well. So we put it off for a year, which gave me not a year's writing time, but maybe six months that I hadn't had. And that made a big difference. So this one took a little longer. Same thing with vacation land. I had the exact same thing happen where I thought it was going to come out one summer, it came out the next summer, but Summer Stage and then the book coming out, if I finish it next summer, will have no extra time in between. So it kind of, I've gone both ways with it.KJ Dell'AntoniaDo you see any like consistency in why? Or it just sort of either happens that way or it doesn't?Meg Mitchell MooreI think I when I try bigger, when I try bigger books, I need more time, as it should be, but I always think I can do it. You know, I'm patience is not, is not my best quality. Impatience is my worst quality. So I find that I'm usually impatient to get something done or to hit the deadline or to put the book out, and I have to slow myself down when necessary, and vacation land. It was a different editor, same publisher, but different editor. I remember her saying, having that talk with me and saying, it will be a much better book. If we put it out the following year, it will be so much better. And she was right. So we needed that time.KJ Dell'AntoniaI so totally relate to this.Meg Mitchell MooreDo you?KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, absolutely. I mean, I'm in the middle of it. Now, if anybody who's listening is also listening to our what the books are writing the books, what the books also like? It's a little mini series where one of my co-hosts is writing nonfiction and I'm writing fiction, and we're trading pages, and we're doing a weekly series of conversations. And this week's realization was, I have always known that I'm writing a story with multiple points of view, but I couldn't start it that way. I had. I had to start it with just this one protagonist. And then I thought, Oh, well, then it'll just be that, and it'll probably be really easy. Look, I've got this all planned out. I'm just gonna write. I'm just gonna, oh, I'll bet I can get, what if I got my agent a draft this summer? Hahaha, it's, you know, it's not good, but I'm so impatient. I want ...Meg Mitchell MooreRight, right. Well, I was listening to one of your to your podcast the other yesterday, and it was the one where you were talking about your story idea starting. How do you, how do you ideate the book?KJ Dell'AntoniaOh, gosh.Meg Mitchell MooreAnd you so you write a book, and then you present it to your agent, and then you sell it, right? So…KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah.Meg Mitchell MooreThat's your process. So I'm the opposite, where I write, I get the contract first, and then I have to write the book. And I don't know which is harder, because you don't have a built in deadline. You have your own deadlines that you said, but you're writing something that you said. Maybe this will sell, maybe it won't, I don't know, whereas I know it will eventually be published, but I also have that pressure of I have to get things in on time. So what do you think is, what's better? What's worse?KJ Dell'AntoniaI don't know. I envy your... I envy that way. I feel like that would make me feel more secure, more professional. My, my agent, doesn't… she's very against selling a book of mine, at least before I've written it, because she says, I'll, she says I might change it, and then, and then, it won't be what we sold or I won't be happy. So so I don't know if she's I think she's just against it as a general rule, but I know lots of agents that that do it, and I know a lot of of writers that do it. Sometimes I look at this and I'm like, you know, I could do a proposal. Maybe we could sell it. I could get some money. That would be lovely, right? Yeah. But...Meg Mitchell MooreI see, I see your point, and I know a lot of people think that way. I remember a long time ago when I'd either published, I think I'd published no novels. Maybe my book was about to be published, my first novel, and I heard Ann Patchett speak at a conference, and she said, she said that she would never take money for a book she hadn't written.KJ Dell'AntoniaWow.Meg Mitchell MooreAnd I remember thinking, Oh, well, if that's what Ann Patchett says, I guess that's what like, that's how the world is. But I disagree, like I disagree, because for me, first of all, she has a different life situation, but for me to keep income coming in steadily, because this is my only job, I feel like that's the way to do it. And I also feel like other industries, like my husband doesn't only get paid when he goes to the board meeting. He's getting paid every other week for his job that he does for the company that he works for. And so to try to approximate a little bit of a normal salary, I feel like that's the way to do it. But then I also see the other side, and I see why Ann Patchett wouldn't do it, because she's Ann Patchett, you know, so she can take whatever time she needs...KJ Dell'AntoniaSee that's so funny. Because I think, well, you can do this because you're Meg Mitchell Moore, and Meg Mitchell Moore is going to sell and a KJ Dell'Antonia, one of them will, and the others somewhat less, so at least that's my my record at the moment. So I guess we just all see each other differently. My co-host Sarina sells on proposal.Meg Mitchell MooreOkay, so fiction, that's fiction?KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, yeah. She sold thrillers and romances that way. Okay, so she has a bigger track record. But also, I've known people, you know, I guess there's just different ways of of of doing it. And I would not say that I chose this. It chose me.Meg Mitchell MooreInteresting, but there was always that chance. I mean, my agent... If I said to my agent, I don't want to sell till I write, she would say, Great, that might be better for both of us. We'll probably sell it for more, because you might write something really good, but I just don't want to take that. I'm too impatient, you know, I'm just Yes, maybe, if, you know, maybe if I had, you know, had some big blockbuster, and then I thought, Okay, now for two years, it doesn't matter what's coming in, because I'm getting money from that book, that would be different. But, um, that's not how it works for most people.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, and maybe I would feel less impatient with getting this done if I weren't like, I want to get to the point where I know if we're going to sell like, I wrote a whole thing last summer, and it never got to the point that we felt like we could sell it, and I I'm sick of it. I can't write it anymore. I'm done with it. I mean, maybe I'll come back to it, but, yeah, right. And like, I've had, you know, a freelance editor at it who's really good. My agent's been at it. I finished it like three times, and apparently it still sucks. So I'm done.Meg Mitchell MooreSo that's interesting, because I always think that I would not be writing good books if I didn't know if my editor gets a very messy draft, and all of my editors have gotten bad dress and really helped me. And without that step, I don't think I would ever write a book that could even be sold. So I feel like I need to know, okay, somebody else who is better at this is going to be helping me really soon. I just need to get through it.KJ Dell'AntoniaThat's that would be amazing. I don't think my editor cares enough about me to do that. So...Meg Mitchell MooreOh, my editor would absolutely prefer a cleaner draft. Like, no question. I mean, she would be delighted if I showed it to five people and got feedback, but I'm always in a rush. So I'm like, here you're the first reader. Here you go. She's like, thank you.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, that's my agent. I'll be like, Look, I'm done it's great! and She's no... it is great, but you know what would be really great? Poor agent. Yeah, okay. So, so we're we're both impatient, but we're doing this in in very different ways. Well, now I want to hear more about that. How do you go from a first draft with no body, to a final draft where the body, it's definitely one of the things that's pushing people to turn the page. It's not the only thing. So maybe that's the good news of not having started with a body. Also, did you know whose body it was?Meg Mitchell MooreUm, we discussed because, yeah, I mean, we discussed a little bit about it. I remember thinking, Could it be this person? And here's why we wouldn't want that person. Could it be this person? So we had some discussion. I didn't write it. I once I knew who it was. I didn't write multiple versions of it. I always had that person. But, and I guess I just think of it as more of a framing device than anything, and a framing device, you can add the frame later.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah.Meg Mitchell MooreSo the middle was mostly what was happening, was happening, and then there was this framing device and and then there are certain things at the end that kind of came together. And I was like, Oh my gosh, this makes it all come together. But I didn't know that in the beginning. And that was so you may be late.KJ Dell'AntoniaDid you not know how the body became a body?Meg Mitchell MooreAh, that changed. There was...KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, I could see that.Meg Mitchell MooreAnd then I thought, oh my gosh, this is kind of what I needed to pull together all those themes. It was those exciting moments that really don't happen very often.KJ Dell'AntoniaOh, I bet and I mean, I can see it from the outside as a reader. It really did. It made it like your ending is one of those endings that changes the whole, your whole reading experience for the better, right? Not that it wasn't a great reading experience the whole time. You know, sometimes somebody doesn't stick the landing, and then you're like, yeah, no, I don't really want to recommend this. I mean, it was fine, right? But, and sometimes it's just great. It's like, solid. You're happy, yay. Okay, that's a good, it's a good. Yours colors the entire like, if I were somebody who would go back and reread it, would color the entire experience differently.Meg Mitchell MooreOh, Thank you!KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, which is cool, yeah, very cool.Meg Mitchell MooreNow, when I wrote Vacationland, I started with a body, and the body came out. So I had the opposite experience, where I thought I was writing a thriller. The whole time. I was like, this is going to be my thriller. There's a body. And I had it all. And to me, it made sense. It all tied up, and my different editor, but my then editor said, I like everything but the body.KJ Dell'AntoniaWow.Meg Mitchell MooreWe had to keep it was first it was a an important body, and then it was a less important body, and then it became the body of a seal, because I had to have just a scene of children looking at something they found in the water in the very beginning. And so it was a body, and then it was a seals body. This time. I got to keep my body at least.KJ Dell'AntoniaSo I love this also, because you haven't been, um, pigeonholed into a genre that involves bodies or doesn't involve bodies. Has that been a thing as you've as you've gone from book to book where people are like, well, I don't know… Meg, people don't really want you to kill people or the, you know, the opposite. Well, I don't know, people are kind of looking for some more thrills from you.Meg Mitchell MooreWell, Vacationland. I remember that editor said they don't, we don't want this from you. We want, we don't want. We want a summer book. We don't want. We're not looking for a thriller. You know, they had other thrillers. You know what? They're doing their own end of the business, too. So they definitely said that this time. I mean, I feel like I'm not pigeonholed, but categorized as beach as a beach book. But I think within beach books you can do all of those things. Yeah. So if I were to write a giant thriller that I said, I think this should come out in the fall, and it's a big book, I that's when they would probably say, I don't know if your audience, if you have the audience, right, pull that off unless the book is amazing, you know? I do feel like I need to come out in the summer to keep my readers.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, I actually love that. That beach book is a You're right. It's a pretty big genre. It encompasses a lot. It encompasses a lot of of things, the only requirement being that it's, you know, entertaining, which, as far as I'm concerned, is a book requirement anyway. But...Meg Mitchell MooreRight, right. It is interesting because my books also happen to usually take place on beaches, but not all beach books do. So it is, it has become a very big category and competitive like you also want to stand out in that category, because there are so many books with the word summer in the title or the word beach in the title, or this. Actually, this cover is a departure for me, which I love, because I feel like I have done the just the oceanscape or the main or the woman looking at the water. I've had those kinds of covers.KJ Dell'AntoniaIt's your first... It's, it's, it's a cartoony cover. I don't, I don't mean that it, you know that sounds Yeah, it's almost a romancy cover. But there's only one person. First. I'm just so you guys should, it'll, it'll be in the show notes. You should, you should take a look, because you're right. It is a departure. I see, yeah, I see what you're saying there. But this one's, it's a hardback, right?Meg Mitchell MooreYes.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah. Have all your books come out first in hardback?Meg Mitchell MooreThey have, yep.KJ Dell'AntoniaNice, cool.Meg Mitchell MooreHave yours?KJ Dell'AntoniaNo, none.Meg Mitchell MooreNone? Okay, now, what do you now…? Do you think that… that, I sometimes I feel like that's a great thing too.KJ Dell'AntoniaI go back and forth on that. My agent is bummed about it. But for me, it's frankly, much easier to, like, go out to everyone and be like, spend $18 versus be like spend $38.Meg Mitchell MooreI agree.KJ Dell'AntoniaSo I haven't minded. Oh, and I was at the Newburyport Book Festival a few years ago, and they accidentally got my second book only in hard book, because it was, it came out in hardback and paperback at the same time, which there was a moment of about six months when publishers were doing that, and then they stopped and they only had the hardback. And I was like, Oh, I don't even want anyone to buy that. Like that, isn't I would be mad if I bought a hardback...Meg Mitchell MooreRight, right.KJ Dell'AntoniaAnd then the next day, I was at the store and was like, hey!?Meg Mitchell MooreRight, yeah, it's interesting, because I do actually love… because I bought your book The Chicken Sisters this weekend, in paperback, and I love, I love paperback, yeah, I love it.KJ Dell'AntoniaFor travel…?Meg Mitchell MooreLighter, yeah, and I think it is appealing. It's so interesting. I mean, I remember Emily Henry's first couple, at least, came out paperback, and then now that she can sell so well, they now they come in hardcover, but I still feel like...KJ Dell'AntoniaI look at them and I'm like, I don't want that that way. Now, I'll just buy a digital version, because I don't that's not…Meg Mitchell MooreRight? Right. It's really interesting. And I know I don't understand the sales end of it, the way that the people who are doing the job do, and the profits and the margin and all that. But I kind of feel like, why isn't everything in paperback right away? You know?KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, no, I feel the same way. And and also people's, especially now we're thinking, we're talking about beach books. Some people's beach I mean, if my beach vacation is an airplane beach vacation, I might bring one hardback, maybe...Meg Mitchell MooreRight.KJ Dell'AntoniaAnd maybe, probably not, because I'm a fast reader, I could easily eat that on the plane, and then there I would be. So...Meg Mitchell MooreRight.KJ Dell'AntoniaI don't know.Meg Mitchell MooreRight, yeah.KJ Dell'AntoniaI guess that's what e-readers are for.Meg Mitchell MooreThat's true.KJ Dell'AntoniaWell, I mean, gosh, I could probably talk to you about in depth, about the writing of this for about 12 hours. Because, okay, one one last thought. So listeners, Meg writes like we said, in multiple points of view. Talk to me about how you know when to change the point. You know what point of view a scene should be told from?Meg Mitchell MooreYeah, I don't. I'm it's so much. I do so much rewriting, a lot of that. I mean, I'm just thinking, I just turned in a draft yesterday of, hopefully next summer's novel, and I that is also multiple points of view. It's, I think it's mostly three, it's three adult sisters and they each have a point of view. There might be a couple little scattered things, but when I look back, I think I need to probably adjust, even in the draft I just turned in, I think I'm a little heavily weighted toward one over the other, so I don't always know. I just go on gut and instinct, and then I fix it later, which is how I do almost everything. I just go by instinct, and it's usually wrong And I change it later.KJ Dell'AntoniaSo, you'll, you'll be like, you've written a scene, and the point of view of one person, you realize, oh, either it's the other person's turn to have some more time, or I need their inner thoughts, not this person's inner thought...Meg Mitchell MooreRight. Yeah, its not very organized.KJ Dell'AntoniaAnd sometimes you drop in like, you know, a kid on a beach or something, is that when you need something to happen that you that your protagonists don't know? Or just, you just feel like?Meg Mitchell MooreI think, I think it's fun. I just think it's fun sometimes to have this person you haven't heard from and you won't hear from again. But a lot I probably did. I probably do that. It probably gets taken out 80% of the time when I do that, because usually it doesn't make sense. But I just wanted to do it. I did it in my book. I just turned in and the first this scene between the a realtor and her husband, the realtor who's selling this house that these people are in. She doesn't matter to the book, but I just really wanted to write the scene of her and her husband, and I even wrote in the draft. I know this doesn't make sense, and my editor said, Yeah, this doesn't make sense. Like, you either need more of them, or they need to go. I don't know what they're...KJ Dell'AntoniaDo you ever give them away for? Like, you know, here's your pre order bonus. Read this extra scene…Meg Mitchell MooreI should do that. Maybe I'll do that. They'll do that. I have never done that, but maybe I will. But I feel like, I think it might be Anne Tyler. I remember reading an interview. Is she the one who does the strings like she has strings with different?KJ Dell'AntoniaMaybe, i don't know.Meg Mitchell MooreEvery character has a different colored string, and then she pulls down the red one because it's the red, you know, that's how she knows who she's writing. And I thought that was really cool, but I've never done it.KJ Dell'AntoniaThat sounds like a lot of work.Meg Mitchell MooreI guess.KJ Dell'AntoniaAnd, like, I would need a different…I need a bulletin board. Okay.Meg Mitchell MooreYeah, I don't know where you, where I would hang it from, but it's just seems kind of nice to think, then maybe...KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah it does.Meg Mitchell MooreShe knows if she's done the right amount for everybody.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, The Chicken Sisters is alternating points of view. And I just, I just alternated. And then sometimes that was a problem, and I had to figure out, like, how to get somebody's feelings? Yeah? So....Meg Mitchell MooreYeah, it's confusing. I don't know why I do it to myself, because sometimes I'll just read a perfectly, a book that's just perfectly written in first person. I'm trying to think of an example right now, because I don't even always read that much in first person, but like, Yellowface? … Yellowface. Okay, that book was so, like, simple in a way, but I love I loved it. I thought it was brilliant, and it was all just this point of view, and...KJ Dell'AntoniaAnd didn't you occasionally get, like a newspaper article? I think...Meg Mitchell MooreMaybe, maybe.KJ Dell'AntoniaThat must have been what she did when she had something her person couldn't know.Meg Mitchell MooreYeah. I guess, yeah. I guess, technically, it would be harder to do it all from one because you how do they know everything? But I feel like I get lost, like I have trouble. I literally lose the plot, because I'm just this person's off doing something in their day that might have nothing to do with what's going on. I get really caught up in that kind of stuff, and that's what I have to edit out.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, I'm always trying not to do that. I'll sit there while I'm writing, like, No, do not let them move their coffee cup. They can move the coffee cup in a later draft, if the coffee cup is still here, if they're even still in this coffee shop, if this coffee shop even exists. But I can't seem to stop it. My my like, default mode is, you know, he said while taking a sip and burning his lip or whatever, right? Just, I can't seem to not do it.Meg Mitchell MooreYeah, but sometimes that's where you get the gold too, because you wrote all that, and maybe that one sentence is the thing that you needed. So it's just the process.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, it is. It's just the process, and it's longer than we hope and slower than we hope...Meg Mitchell MooreAlways...Always. Yes.KJ Dell'AntoniaAnd more, and more revising. Well, do you have any, like, genius words about revision for people? Because it sounds like you do a lot of it.Meg Mitchell MooreI do a lot of it. I think just is so important. It's just so for me, it's so important. I just think nobody gets it right. I hope nobody gets it right the first time. Because if they do, I'm really jealous, but I think for the most part, nobody gets it right the first time. So revision is, I mean, I'd say I spent almost as much time on the revision I probably do as I do on the first draft.KJ Dell'AntoniaDo you still lie to yourself in the first draft and let yourself pretend it's going to be right?Meg Mitchell MooreOh yeah. I always think, Oh, this is the time I did it, I nailed it, and then I get my editorial letter, and it's like, great start. Here's the 700 things that you need to do now.KJ Dell'AntoniaWell, thank you. I feel better. I hope everyone else does too.Meg Mitchell MooreYeah, it's a long process.KJ Dell'AntoniaIt really is, all right. Well, this was fantastic. I really enjoyed it.Meg Mitchell MooreYeah, me too.KJ Dell'AntoniaAs we hit the end of any episode, we always like to ask people what they've been reading. So I hope I'm not springing that on you.Meg Mitchell MooreNo, I just I always have an audio book going and a regular book going on audio I just started the Emily Henry, the new Emily Henry, which I've never listened to her books. I've always read them, and I know that Julia, the famous Julia Whelan, is always her narrator, so and she's phenomenal. So I'm loving the audio version, which is just funny that I've never done it with Emily Henry before.KJ Dell'AntoniaDid you listen to Julia Whelan's book that she wrote herself?Meg Mitchell MooreMhmm.KJ Dell'AntoniaThat was so fascinating, because it really was different, like I actually read it, but I could feel the… yeah. Anyway, okay.Meg Mitchell MooreOh, you should go back and also listen. It's so it's such a good audio book.KJ Dell'AntoniaI bet.Meg Mitchell MooreYeah, it was fantastic. And then I'm reading a novel called The Road to Dalton that my friend Hannah, who owns the Book Shop of Beverly Farms in Beverly Farms, Massachusetts, phenomenal store recommended to me. So I bought it last time I was there, and it is about a bunch of people in a small town in Maine, which is my vibe immediately I was in. But it's very good. So I'm reading that. I can't, I can't remember the author, which is unusual for me, but Shannon something I think [Shannon Bowring].. But it's The Road to DaltonKJ Dell'AntoniaThat's okay. I will find it well. As everyone is gathered, I just finished Mansion Beach. I I really loved it. It was a rare book that I loved even more when I got to the end of it. And, yeah, it was amazing. And also in that, that vibe, that sort of small town Maine and yet, but this is like small island, middle of the Atlantic. Welcome to Glorious Tuga. Have you heard of this one?Meg Mitchell MooreNo. I've never heard of it.KJ Dell'AntoniaOkay, so it's a tiny island settled 300 years ago by a miscellanea of Dutch and British and and African people didn't have any locals. So that's kind of and they have formed the society. It's only open for half the year, because you can't, like, get a boat into it, because storms and currents and whatnot. So this woman has gone thinking that she's going to study the native tortoise population all Darwin, but she gets there and they're like, great. You're a vet. That's what we need. So it's kind of like all creatures great and small meets...I don't even know what it meets yet, I got to come up with that. But it's really a lot of fun. And it's very multi it's multi POV in a really interesting way, because you're with her, and then sort of whenever you kind of get a little interested in someone else, you're like, Oh, why are they doing that? Then maybe you'll switch to their POV. it's really, I really enjoyed it so, so that was fun. So those are my ranks, all right. Well, thank you so much, listeners for joining us, and thank you, Meg for joining me today. Where can people follow you? Where's the best?Meg Mitchell MooreMostly on Instagram @Meg Mitchell Moore, I'm on Facebook, but I don't use it very often and I kinda want to leave it. So…I also just read the Facebook, the Facebook memoir.KJ Dell'AntoniaOh yeah?Meg Mitchell MooreNo, I really want to leave Facebook, but also I know that they own Instagram. So anyway, Instagram is the best place to find me, and I was so happy to be here. Thank you. It was really fun.KJ Dell'AntoniaThis was super. Okay. Thanks everyone for listening, and until next week, keep your butt in the chair and your head in the game.Sarina BowenThe hashtag am writing podcast is produced by Andrew Perella. Our intro music, aptly titled unemployed Monday was written and played by Max Cohen. Andrew and Max were paid for their time and their creative output, because everyone deserves to be paid for their work. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

It's not every day that you get to interview the former editor of the New York Times parenting section! I have been following KJ Dell'Antonia since she managed Motherlode and it was great meeting her finally, and discussing her book, “How To Be a Happier Parent”. KJ generously provided some of the research and practical wisdom that every parent can benefit from if they want to be happier while they do the inevitable hard work of parenting. If you'd like to read one of KJ's books, here are the links! How to Be a Happier Parent: https://tinyurl.com/HappierParentBookAmazonThe Chicken Sisters: https://tinyurl.com/ChickenSistersAmazon Playing the Witch Card: https://tinyurl.com/WitchCardAmazonIn Her Boots: https://tinyurl.com/InHerBootsAmazonSubstack #AmReading: https://kjda.substack.com/KJ's website https://kjdellantonia.com/Instagram: @kjda https://www.instagram.com/kjda/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kjdellantoniaThe #AmWriting Podcast: https://itun.es/i67F2zJ or http://amwritingpodcast.comDo you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I'll answer on an upcoming Q&A podcast.Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Find yourself constantly irritable? Wish that you could enjoy parenthood more? That's the place my guest, author KJ Dell'Antonia found herself in. So she set out to find the answers to frustrating struggles like chores, discipline, screen time, and more. Join in on this fun conversation about how to get through the toughest parts of parenting and find yourself happier on the other side! ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is the host Mindful Parenting Podcast (Top 0.5% podcast ), global speaker, number 1 bestselling author of “Raising Good Humans” and “Raising Good Humans Every Day,” Mindfulness Meditation teacher and creator of the Mindful Parenting Course and Teacher Training. Find more podcasts, Hunter's books, blog posts, free resources, and more at MindfulMamaMentor.com. Discover your Unique-To-You Podcast Playlist at mindfulmamamentor.com/quiz/ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: /mindfulmamamentor.com/mindful-mama-podcast-sponsors/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Carla Naumburg, PhD is a clinical social worker and the best-selling author of five parenting books. These include her international bestseller, How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids (Workman, 2019), as well as You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent; Ready, Set, Breath and Parenting in the Present Moment.. Her latest, which is recently published and the topic of this podcast is How to Stop Freaking Out, the (completely swear-free) middle-grade adaptation of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids. She's also a wife (making her second appearance on the pod) and the mother of two kids. In our conversation today we discussed:* Everything about her newest book and the philosophy behind it* How she first got into writing* What it takes to research and write a book* The inspiration behind How to Stop Freaking Out* The five different types of freakouts* Why kids freak out* How to model and teach emotional regulation in our kids* An extensive discussion on kids, smart phones and social mediaListen now on Apple, Spotify, Overcast and YouTube.—Where to find Carla Naumburg* LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlanaumburg/* Carla's Website: https://www.carlanaumburg.com/* Carla's Books: https://www.carlanaumburg.com/books/Where to find Adam Fishman* FishmanAF Newsletter: www.FishmanAFNewsletter.com* LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/—In this episode, we cover:[1:43] Welcome[2:54] How did she start writing?[5:15] Carla's Childhood[6:43] Her newest book[8:13] Inspiration for How To Stop Freaking Out[10:26] The Process for writing a book[12:42] How a metaphor from her last book didn't translate to this one[14:58] Teaching middle schoolers[20:29] The types of freakouts[25:44] Why do kids freak out?[30:18] Modeling/teaching emotional regulation[36:04] How do parents navigate freakouts/how do we shrink our buttons?[43:52] Smart phones/social media and kids[50:42] Waiting on phones plan[55:39] The book[56:17] Lightning round—Show references:Carla and Josh on Startup Dad - youtube.com/watch?v=YiaE6ZmaOIQHow to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent: https://www.amazon.com/How-Stop-Losing-Your-Kids/dp/1523505427You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent: How to Practice Self-Compassion and Give Yourself a Break: https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Not-Parent-Self-Compassion/dp/1523517115Ready, Set, Breathe: Practicing Mindfulness with Your Children for Fewer Meltdowns and a More Peaceful Family: https://www.amazon.com/Ready-Set-Breathe-Practicing-Mindfulness/dp/1626252904/Parenting in the Present Moment: How to Stay Focused on What Really Matters: https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Present-Moment-Focused-Matters/dp/1937006832/How to Stop Freaking Out: The Ultimate Guide to Keeping Cool When Life Feels Chaotic: https://www.amazon.com/How-Stop-Freaking-Out-Ultimate/dp/1523518243/Sweet Valley High: https://www.amazon.com/Sweet-Valley-High-138-book-series/dp/B08LGKQMDMMount Everest: https://www.britannica.com/place/Mount-EverestOprah: https://www.oprah.com/index.htmlThe Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt: https://www.amazon.com/Anxious-Generation-Rewiring-Childhood-Epidemic/dp/0593655036Taylor Swift: https://www.taylorswift.com/Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/First Phone: A Child's Guide to Digital Responsibility, Safety, and Etiquette by Catherine Pearlman PhD LCSW: https://www.amazon.com/First-Phone-Digital-Responsibility-Etiquette/dp/0593538331Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World by Devorah Heitner: https://www.amazon.com/Screenwise-Helping-Thrive-Survive-Digital/dp/1629561452/Caillou: https://en.caillou.com/Bluey: https://www.bluey.tv/MacGyver: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088559/My Fair Lady: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058385/The Breakfast Club: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088847/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1Dirty Dancing: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092890/—For sponsorship inquiries email: podcast@fishmana.com.For Startup Dad Merch: www.startupdadshop.com Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com

Join us for LIVE Podcast The Art of Communication in Relationships: Navigating Needs, Feelings, and Deeper Connection on October 5, 2024, in Princeton, New Jersey with featured guest Yvette Erasmus.  Head over to authenticparenting.com/livepodcast to secure your ticket. LINKS AND RESOURCES Support the podcast by making a donation (suggested amount $15) 732-763-2576 call to leave a voicemail.  info@authenticparenting.com Send audio messages using Speakpipe. Join the Authentic Parenting Community on Facebook. Work w/Anna. Listeners get 10% off her services. 

Author and former NY Times Motherlode editor KJ Dell'Antonia talks about her book "How To Be a Happier Parent" and what she learned about how parents can bring more happiness into their daily lives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every person comes into parenthood with expectations. These can be from society or even how we were raised. Although, having expectations can be helpful in motivating us, more often than not they are holding us back from becoming the parent we were made to be. When we can appropriately shift our expectations and become more realistic about them, we will find freedom. I hope this episode encourages you to shift your expectations and find peace with where you are at in parenthood.

I hope you enjoy my short reflection on the conversation I had with my guest KJ Dell'Antonia, who is known to many from her time as editor of the New York Times “The Motherlode” blog, which later became part of their Well Family section. KJ also started her own podcast, and she's the author of several incredibly popular books, How to Be a Happier Parent, In Her Boots, and the New York Times best seller, The Chicken Sisters. Listen to the full-length episode on your favorite podcast app or watch the full-length episode on YouTube. 

Oren Jay Sofer shares how to engage contemplative practices to improve your focus, energy, and quality of life. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) The five-item list that will help you focus better. 2) How to be unstoppable in the face of procrastination. 3) The three-second trick for boosting energy. Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep917 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT OREN — Oren Jay Sofer teaches meditation and communication internationally. He holds a degree in comparative religion from Columbia University and is a Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication and a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner for the healing of trauma. Oren is also the author of several books, including the best-seller Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication and his latest book, Your Heart Was Made for This: Contemplative Practices toMeet a World In Crisis with Courage, Integrity, and Love. His teaching has reached people around the world through his online communication courses and guided meditations. A husband and a father, Oren lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where he enjoys cooking, spending time in nature, and home woodworking projects. • Book: Your Heart Was Made for This: Contemplative Practices for Meeting a World in Crisis with Courage, Integrity, and Love • Website: OrenJaySofer.com • Previous episode: 292: Enhancing Work and Life through Mindfulness with Oren Jay Sofer • Previous episode: 375: How and Why to Communicate Mindfully with Oren Jay Sofer — RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • AwesomeAtYourJob.com/advice : Our survey • Book: How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent by Carla Naumburg • Book: When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi • Book: Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon's Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart by James R. Doty — THANK YOU SPONSORS! — • Storyworth. Give a personal gift from the heart this holiday season at StoryWorth.com/awesome See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Getting kids to do chores, pick up after themselves, and help around the house is not for the faint of heart. Meagan and Sarah are decades into parenting and can still settle in for a vent-session about dirty socks left on the floor. But we've acquired a little bit of wisdom along the way too, and today we're here to smooth the path for moms who want to feel less frustrated when it comes to kids and chores. Join us!HELPFUL LINKS:Sarah mentioned hearing Wendy Mogel talk about high-achieving kids and chores in this episode of Armchair ExpertSarah also mentioned learning an approach mentioned in the chores chapter KJ Dell'Antonia's book, How to Be a Happier Parent (affiliate link)Episodes From The Archives That Pair Well With This One:A Summertime Chores, Life Skills & Freedoms Reset: Episode 315Chores, Life Skills, & Household Contributions: Episode 191Chores & Delegation: Episode 15OTHER HELPFUL LINKS:Visit our websiteCheck out deals from our partnersFollow us on InstagramJoin our private listener group on Facebook (be sure to answer the membership questions!)Sign up for our newsletterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why do men fall into the trap of being a provider first? (2:22) The power and value of adoption. (6:42) The different kinds of fatherhood. (11:54) How dopamine lies behind all addiction. (17:32) The dangers of pornography for young men. (22:24) The three macronutrients to happiness. (28:12) The cult of youth. (31:07) The secrets of a successful marriage. (36:06) Tactical methods to improve your happiness. (39:40) Why men become men when they become fathers. (47:25) Loving people is different than using them. (49:22) Educators rather than influencers. (53:03) The importance of having a transcendental practice. (55:23) Electing the hard thing because you chose the divine path. (58:25) The problem with being an activist rather than a volunteer. (1:00:51) The love vs. fear polarity. (1:05:44) Managing the pain so it's no longer managing you. (1:09:00) Experience and reps matter. (1:17:26) Gambling is an interesting dopamine phenomenon. (1:20:07) Entrepreneurial orientation spectrum. (1:22:30) The five dimensions of human personality. (1:29:25) The “I” self vs. the “me” self. (1:33:36) Life is a pilgrimage. (1:40:38) Related Links/Products Mentioned Exclusively for Mind Pump listeners join IHP and Equi.life for 2 full days of live exhibitions, inspiring keynote discussions, and engaging expert panels The Reimagining Health Summit on October 12-13 in Fort Lauderdale, FL. **Code MINDPUMP for $100 off at checkout** June Promotion: MAPS Cardio | Summer Shredded Bundle | Bikini Bundle 50% off! **Code JUNE50 at checkout** The two faces of oxytocin - American Psychological Association (APA) From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life – Book by Arthur C. Brooks Marriage Is a Team Sport, Not a Competition - The Atlantic How Wanting Less Leads to Satisfaction - The Atlantic Choose the Activism That Won't Make You Miserable Oprah teams with Arthur C. Brooks on book about happiness Research: Why Immigrants Are More Likely to Become Entrepreneurs How to Be Less Self-Centered - The Atlantic What Is Metacognition? How Does It Help Us Think? How to Stop Freaking Out - The Atlantic How to Hike the Camino de Santiago - Uncommon Path   Mind Pump Podcast – YouTube Mind Pump Free Resources Featured Guest/People Mentioned Arthur Brooks (@arthurcbrooks) Instagram Oprah (@oprah) Instagram  

“The thing that has not changed for me is the need to protect the time that I need to achieve my creative goals. But the biggest barrier is [that] there's always more to do in that busy household. So you have to make a concerted effort to set aside that time.” ~ KJ Dell'AntoniaIn this episode, Kaitlin is joined by KJ Dell'Antonia, the New York Times best-selling author of The Chicken Sisters, In Her Boots, How to Be a Happier Parent, and the forthcoming Playing the Witch Card in a compelling conversation about the intersection of caregiving, creative practice, and capitalism production, and the impressive journey KJ has taken in navigating those roles.A former editor of the New York Times' Motherload blog, and cohost of The #AmWriting podcast, KJ lives in Lyme, New Hampshire, with her husband and four children, and she has to go outside every day or else she and her dogs will go slightly insane.KJ and Kaitlin talked about:How KJ navigates the practicalities of juggling caregiving and creative practice and how she writes about parenting without disrespecting her children's private lives.The challenges of parenting while pursuing creative goals and how to find a balance between the two. KJ's methodical approach to creativity and the importance of setting achievable goals.How to identify your own unique creative process and stay productive and happy with the work you do.The importance of finding dedicated thinking and working time for creative goals, despite the busyness of household life, and the need to protect that time.Finding balance in motherhood and creativity without compromising authenticity and finding real happiness.More about KJ Dell'Antonia:Website: https://kjdellantonia.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kjda/The #AmWriting podcast: https://amwriting.substack.com/Pre-order your copy of Playing the Witch Card: https://bookshop.org/a/86159/9780593713792Please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and give us a rating. This will help us reach more listeners like you who are navigating the joys and pitfalls of artistic and parenting identities.For regular updates:Visit our website: postpartumproduction.comFollow us on Instagram: @postpartumproductionpodcastSubscribe to our podcast newsletter on Substack: https://postpartumproduction.substack.com

In this episode, Wynne talks with Betsy Kerekes, blogger, published author, wife, mom, and martial arts practitioner about how to tackle hard things with humor and grace. Which seems to be a specialty for Betsy - she does it with parenting and now for martial arts too. In the great stories Betsy tells about learning, getting injured, and keeping up the practice, there are so many ways to be inspired by her grit all wrapped up in a lovely package. The show notes can be found on the HoTM site: Podcast Episode 3: On Mountaineering, Martial Arts, Overcoming Challenges and Parenting Here are links to Betsy's blog and books: Blog: Motherhood and Martial Arts (formerly Parenting is Funny) Book on Amazon: Be a Happier Parent or Laughing Trying Book on Amazon: 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage Book on Amazon: 101 Tips for Marrying the Right Person

It's tempting to tie a child's shoe lace, tidy their rooms or help with their science projects - to see that these tasks are done right - but parents are depriving their kids of the valuable experience of falling, failing, and f-ing up.  Formed Stanford dean Julie Lythcott-Haims says these "f words" are vital for children if they are to grow into happy, capable and autonomous adults. While Yale psychologist Julia Leonard warns that interfering too often in a child's life can actually teach them that trying isn't even worth the effort.       Further reading: Michaeleen Doucleff - Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy Helpful Humans.  Julie Lythcott-Haims - How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. Marty Seligman - Authentic Happiness See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Rosy had a packed schedule of lunches, meet-ups and activities - and she was only three.  Mom Michaeleen Doucleff felt she couldn't waste a second of her daughter's time. Rosy needed to be constantly lectured and stimulated if she was going to reach the Ivy League.  This style of parenting was exhausting both mother and daughter, until Michaeleen found that not everyone approaches child-rearing in this way. She tells Dr Laurie Santos how she forged a happier and more relaxed relationship with Rosy - that benefited them both.   Formed Stanford dean Julie Lythcott-Haims explores how "overparenting" has taken hold in recent decades and why it needs to be challenged.    Further reading: Michaeleen Doucleff - Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy Helpful Humans.   Malcolm Harris - Kids These Days: Human Capital and the Making of Millennials  Julie Lythcott-Haims - How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Solo episode.  Nikki has had so much inflammation in her body she started to get really deep into mediation specifically Kundalini Meditation, started back up on the celery juice trend, and more. In this episode you will learn how to process through emotions.  - Just like our homes we store junk and clutter in our bodies and minds. We need to take time to process through things and not just keep stuffing them down.  - Don't wait for the milestone birthday, reunion, getting sick, a wedding, etc to take care of yourself and or set goals - Start to prioritize yourself right now - New book Nikki read. How To be A Happier Parent ( title is deceiving. It's not about you're not happy. ) 2 chapters really stuck out and Nikki touches on those 2 chapters.  - Benefits of celery juice - Side effects of celery juice - Sober October - Benefits of taking a month off from alcohol.  - Last 90 days of 2022 - Make sure to pour into your cup first. Where do you need to nourish yourself? If you enjoyed this episode please head to where you listen to your podcasts and leave a rating and review. Share it with someone else you think will benefit from it. www.nikkiyogaandwellness.com www.instagram.com/fitfunandfrazzledpodcast www.instagram.com/nikkilanigan.yogaandwellness

Kwame Christian lays out his three-step framework for masterfully handling difficult conversations around race and other sensitive issues at work. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) Why we struggle when discussing race 2) How discussing race enriches workplaces 3) A powerful three-step framework for any difficult conversation Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep798 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT KWAME — Kwame Christian is a best-selling author, business lawyer and CEO of the American Negotiation Institute (ANI). Following the viral success of his TedxDayton talk, Kwame released his best-seller Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life in 2018. He's also a regular Contributor for Forbes and the host of the number one negotiation podcast in the world, Negotiate Anything - which currently has over 5 million downloads worldwide. Under Kwame's leadership, ANI has coached and trained several Fortune 500 companies on applying the fundamentals of negotiation to corporate success. Kwame was the recipient of the John Glenn College of Public Affairs Young Alumni Achievement Award in 2020 and the Moritz College of Law Outstanding Recent Alumnus Award 2021. He is the only person in the history of The Ohio State University to win alumni awards in consecutive years from the law school and the masters of public affairs program. That said, Kwame's proudest achievement is his family. He's married to Dr. Whitney Christian, and they have two lovely sons, Kai and Dominic. • Book: How to Have Difficult Conversations About Race: Practical Tools for Necessary Change in the Workplace and Beyond • Book: Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life • Podcast: Negotiate Anything • Podcast: Negotiate Real Change • Website: American Negotiation Institute — RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Book: "How to Be an Antiracist" by Ibram X. Kendi • Book: "How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent" by Carla Naumburg • Book: "I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships" by Michael Sorensen • Past episode: 693: Building Better Relationships through Validation with Michael Sorensen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, I chat with author KJ Dell'Antonia about her new novel In Her Boots, her podcast #amwriting, and books!KJ Dell'Antonia is the author of The Chicken Sisters, a New York Times bestseller, a Reese Witherspoon book club pick, and a timely, humorous exploration of the same themes she has long focused on in her journalism: the importance of finding joy in our families, the challenge of figuring out what makes us happy, and the need to value the people in front of us more than the ones in our phones and laptops, every single time.KJ wrote and edited the Motherlode blog at the New York Times and is also the author of the viral essay Why I Didn't Answer Your Email and the book How to Be a Happier Parent. Her new novel, In Her Boots, is about the gap between the adults we think we have become, the child our mother will always see, and our horrible fear that our mother is right. KJ Dell'AntoniaIn Her Boots, KJ Dell'AntoniaThe #AmWriting PodcastThe Change, Kirsten MillerThe Truth About Ben And June, Alex KiesterThe Other Bennet Sister, Janice HadlowThe Murder of Mr. Wickham, Claudia GrayThe Boys, Katie HafnerSupport the show

What would it take for you to walk away from the most abundant time in your career? From a time that was not only full, but fun, rewarding, and productive?  My guest this week, Christy Wright did just that - walked away from a season of immense abundance in her career, not because of difficult situations but simply because God called her out of it. She says this call was so clear she came to a point where she feared disobedience more than the uncertainty of leaving her career. She followed God into a new season of freedom and work. It's like God called Christy in for a meeting to talk about rebranding - not to change who He had created her to be, but to change her everyday look and her assignments.  We've spent our summer talking through our unique "mom brands" and in our final week of Summer of Mentorship we're hitting on something that will happen to each of us as moms at one point or many - the need to rebrand. To leave behind what worked and was right for that specific time to embrace what God is saying is right for now. Ecclesiastes reminds us there is rhythm and seasons to life and we will walk through transitions in our work and home life. Christy encourages us to courageously cling to God's voice in those times and not let the fear of uncertainty keep us from the rebranding God is walking us through..    Discussion Questions: What stood out to you from the episode?  What current roles help shape your days?  Are you ok with you when you take away what you do? Or, how easily can you separate out who you are from what you do?  Have you gone through a “rebranding” as a mom? Either because of change in circumstance or because your routines weren't serving you, or for another reason. What was difficult about that time? What was beneficial in that transition? Spend the last 10 minutes of your group time in silence praying and listening and ask God, “Is there anything I need to be freed from?” Connect with Christy Wright:  Website:  https://www.christy-wright.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OfficialChristyWright  Instagram:  @ChristyBWright Links Mentioned:   Take Back Your Time : The Guilt-Free Guide to Life Balance by Christy Wright  How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent by Carla Naumburg, PhD Related Episodes: Manage Your Life With Guilt-Free Confidence :: Christy Wright [Ep 192] Featured Sponsors:  Thrive Market. Join Thrive Market today and get $80 eighty dollars in free groceries! Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA. Athletic Greens. Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Visit athleticgreens.com/DMA.  Indeed. Now with Indeed, businesses only pay for quality applications matching the sponsored job description. Visit Indeed.com/DMA to start hiring now.

If parenting was stressful before the pandemic, during the COVID-19 global crisis, ⅔ of parents experienced some level of burnout. The pandemic is not over and stress on parents is not going to magically go away and it is critical that we recognize and find ways to prevent burnout in parents.  Kate Gawlik, an Associate Professor of Clinical Nursing at The Ohio State University on how to recognize the signs of parental burnout and how to cope with it.  Parental burnout builds in stages, slowly. Phase one -overwhelming exhaustion. Next phase, burned-out parents tend to distance themselves from their kids to preserve their energy. And the third phase is loss of fulfillment.  You can take the self-assessment tool provided by Kate to learn more about yourself. Burnout runs on a continuum.  A report by The Ohio State University Office of the Chief Wellness Officer and College of Nursing found the stress was simply too much for many working parents to handle,  revealing that two-thirds of working parents experienced some level of burnout. The study found an association between burnout and depression, anxiety, alcohol consumption and The research, conducted in 2021 found stress on parents also had consequences for children, as parental burnout was associated with punitive behavior towards their kids – including screaming, criticizing and even physical harm – and increased acting out by their children. MENTIONED IN THIS EPSIODE Ep. 143: How to Be a Happier Parent with KJ De'll Antonia  Ep. 144: Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Kids Ep. 281: The Power of Self-Regulation with Sarah MacLaughlin  Ep. 289: Mind-Body Tools to Develop Stress Resilience with Rebekkah LaDyne  Ep. 270: Simple Tools to Feel Great with Rangan Chatterjee, MD SUPPORT THE SHOW, SHOW YOUR LOVE Become a patron on Patreon.com and join 18 exisiting memebers who contribute $92 towards our monthly goal of $500.  Make a one-time donation in any amount to say “Thank you!” Rate or write a review FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast HOW TO WORK WITH ANNA I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! All listeners get 10% off on my services. Private Coaching Online courses and classes GET IN TOUCH Comments, questions, feedback, and love notes  USA listeners call 732-763-2576 and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website Email: info@authenticparenting.com STAY CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group-Authentic Parenting Community Thank you for listening!  With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com      

KJ Del'Antonia, author of How to Be a Happier Parent. @KJDellAntonia Topic: Raising a family, having a life, and loving almost every minute. Issues: Why you child should do chores; siblings—bringing fun and taking it away; sports and activities—fun except when they're not; homework; screens are fun but limiting them isn't; discipline and why it […] The post Loving (Almost) Every Minute of Raising a Family appeared first on Mr. Dad.

Chantel Olson, author of Homefront Warriors. @chantellouise16 Topic: Not every warrior wears a uniform. Issues: The many lessons learned from military spouses during their spouse's deployment; how military spouses can get support during deployment; special concerns of children with a deployed parent; why it's important to honor homefront warriors for their service. KJ Del'Antonia, author […] The post Not Every Warrior Wears a Uniform + Be a Happier Parent appeared first on Mr. Dad.

Summary:  On this episode of the Act To Live Podcast, Scott and Jaime begin by talking about the ‘act' of being kind to others. The two then explore random acts of kindness and share their experiences both on the giving and receiving end of these acts. Scott then talks a bit about the health and neurological benefits of performing random acts of kindness. The duo wraps up the episode by discussing a few suggestions/ideas for those interested in performing random acts of kindness.  ACTion Event of the Week: Try doing at least one random act of kindness for a stranger AND at least one random act of kindness for someone you know this week. What did you notice? What was the experience like? How did you feel the rest of the week?  Join us on the next episode of the Act To Live Podcast as we explore the process of developing a flexible mind.  References: Carter, C. (2011). Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents. https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B00338QEN8&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_33JJXBTR2W8KEPSRTCNT&tag=mobilea0615b4-20  McCraty R., Barrios-Choplin B., Rozman D., Atkinson M., and Watkins A.D (1998). The impact of a new emotional self-management program on stress, emotions, heart rate variability, DHEA and cortisol. Integrative Psychological and Behavioral Science. 33(2):151-170.  Stoerkel, E. (2020, October). Can Random Acts of Kindness Increase Well-Being? https://positivepsychology.com/random-acts-kindness/ Sweet, J. (2021, February). How Random Acts of Kindness Can Boost Your Health During the Pandemic. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-random-acts-of-kindness-can-boost-your-health-5105301   

KJ Dell'Antonia is the author of the viral New York Times essay Why I Didn't Answer Your Email. She is the former editor of the NY Times' Motherlode blog and the author of the book How to Be a Happier Parent. Her debut novel, The Chicken Sisters, is a NYT best seller, a selection in Reese Witherspoon's book club. It is a humorous exploration of the same themes she focuses on in her journalism: the importance of finding joy in our families, the challenge of figuring out what makes us happy and the need to value the people in front of us more than the ones in our phones and laptops, every single time. You can find all things KJ Dell'Antonia at her website.

Carla Naumburg, author of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids. Topic: A practical guide to becoming a calmer, happier parent. Issues: Why are you losing your stuff with your kids? Knowing what your buttons are and what kids are doing to push them; how doing less will help you not lose your […] The post Becoming Calmer, Happier Parent appeared first on Mr. Dad.

Ever lose it with your kid? If so, you're definitely not alone. Dr. Dan is thrilled to welcome Carla Naumburg, the hilarious and brilliant author of Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent to the podcast. Parenting is stressful, children are insane, and you're only human. Today's interview with Carla will give you tips on how to manage your triggers, stop meltdowns, parent mindfully and become a calmer, happier parent -- with calmer, happier kids. Carla Naumburg, PhD, LICSW is a clinical social worker, writer, and speaker. She is the author of three parenting books and her writing has appeared in The New York Timesand The Washington Post. Carla lives outside of Boston with her husband, two young daughters, and two totally insane cats. For more information visit: https://www.carlanaumburg.com/. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On today's episode, Shaleah poses the question, Are parents happier than non-parents? This episode was inspired by a CNBC video discussing the levels of happiness of parents versus non-parents. Tasha, Lisa, and Shaleah share their thoughts and Shaleah provides her personal accounts as a parent. Enjoy! and remember to rate and review the podcast. Host: Shaleah Williams Guests featured: Tasha and Lisa Link to CNBC video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeG-gurn75I&t=332s

Hear how KJ worked with Author Accelerator's founder, Jennie Nash, for a year before querying, how her previous platform as a well-known non-fiction writer paved the way to quickly finding an agent and a publisher, and how she researched independent bookstores to identify the best candidates to receive a sample copy. And what it's like when your editor calls you on a random Thursday evening during the pandemic to tell you Reese Witherspoon has picked your debut novel as her December 2020 book club selection. KJ Dell'Antonia is the author of the The Chicken Sisters, a New York Times bestseller, a Reese Witherspoon book club pick and a timely, humorous exploration of the same themes she has long focused on in her journalism: the importance of finding joy in our families, the challenge of figuring out what makes us happy and the need to value the people in front of us more than the ones in our phones and laptops, every single time.  She wrote and edited the Motherlode blog at the New York Times and is also the author of the viral essay Why I Didn't Answer Your Email and the book How to Be a Happier Parent.  To learn more about KJ, click here.

Episode 13: KJ Dell'Antonia This week, our guest is KJ Dell'Antonia, the author of the viral New York Times essay Why I Didn't Answer Your Email, the former editor of the Times' Motherlode blog, and the author of the book How to Be a Happier Parent. Her debut novel, The Chicken Sisters, is a timely,... The post Even Pros Can Benefit from Coaching – How a Coach Can Help with Career Pivots appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

In this exciting episode of the Holistic Wealth podcast, our very special guest is KJ Dell'Antonia, New Times Bestselling Author of The Chicken Sisters. She is the former editor of the New York Times' Motherlode blog and the author of the book How to Be a Happier Parent. Her debut novel, The Chicken Sisters, is a timely, humorous exploration of the same themes she focuses on in her journalism: the importance of finding joy in our families, the challenge of figuring out what makes us happy and the need to value the people in front of us more than the ones in our phones and laptops, every single time. KJ is also the host of the #AmWriting podcast. In this episode of the podcast, KJ authentically speaks to the experience of starting out as a lawyer, switching gears to becoming a journalist writing non-fiction and then switching to fiction. Check out this exciting episode of the Holistic Wealth podcast with Keisha Blair! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keisha-blair/support

Three generations. Two chicken shacks. One recipe for disaster. Sisters Amanda and Mae clash when a reality TV show visits their small Kansas town to film a competition between the family's two fried chicken restaurants. This is writer KJ Dell'Antonia’s debut novel. It’s called The Chicken Sisters . KJ is the former editor of MotherLode and current contributor to The New York Times , as well as the author of How to Be a Happier Parent.

Christine Carter, Ph.D., is an author, speaker, and coach. Her books include The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction (2020), The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less (2017) and Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents (2011). Christine is A sociologist and senior fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. She draws on the latest scientific research in psychology, sociology, and neuroscience to help her clients lead their most meaningful, joyful, and productive lives. She lives with her husband, four teenagers, and dog Buster in California. Please enjoy! Please visit https://nishantgarg.me/podcasts for more info. Follow Nishant: Instagram: instagram.com/garg_nishant Facebook: facebook.com/nishant.garg.5245 https://www.facebook.com/NishantMindfulnessMatters/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nishant-garg-b7a20339/

How's your creativity these days? A lot of us are finding it tough to focus and tap into the creative parts of our brain.2020 is a creativity killer for a lot of us. But, it doesn't have to be that way.Author KJ Dell'Antonia is having one of her best years yet as a writer despite the pandemic.KJ is a host of the popular writing podcast, #AmWriting, and is the former editor of The New York Times' Motherlode blog. Her parenting book "How to be a Happier Parent" is a staple for new parents.Her fiction debut, "The Chicken Sisters," landed in bookstores this week. And Reese Witherspoon just named it her December book club pick. Witherspoon's literary blessing is like gold in the book world.How does KJ spark her own creativity each day? She sets a timer. Yes, a timer.On this Dying to Ask:How to use KJ's timer method to spark your own creativity for a big projectLearn other techniques to eliminate distraction and give your brain the freedom to createAnd what it's like to try to get a book noticed in the world when you can't travel and do book signings 

I had such a great discussion with KJ Dell'Antonia for this episode. KJ is the former editor of the New York Times' Motherlode blog, and the author of “How to Be a Happier Parent.” I mean, who wouldn't want to try to be happier in their role as a parent? And to my widowed parent listeners, especially: I figure we can use all the hints and tips we can get, now that we are doing this parenting job by ourselves. Some topics KJ and I discuss include: Why she decided to write this book; Some of her favorite mantras for parenting; Why family dinner is important, and what can be difficult about it; Why ‘discipline' is one of the least-liked parenting jobs, and how to think differently about it; Chores, how to think about them, and tips for parents; Why you'll be a happier parent if you embrace “fair doesn't mean equal;” and Her new novel, “The Chicken Sisters,” in which one of the protagonists is a widowed parent of teens. I hope you enjoy my discussion with KJ Dell'Antonia. -=-=-=-=- Thank you sponsors & partners: Audible - Get a FREE audiobook and 30-day free trial: www.audibletrial.com/widowedparent BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent Blue Apron - Special offers for listeners of the podcast: jennylisk.com/blueapron Support the show: Patreon, Merch, and More -=-=-=-=-

Before contemplating how to be a happier parent, we should think back to when we decided to become parents. We probably envisioned the fun of playing with our children, laughter and conversations around the dinner table and pride and joy in watching our children grow and learn. But, for many of us, we find those images replaced by days of rushed meals (or just a snack bar in the car), hectic drives from one sports event or music lesson to another and exhausted family members spending more time with their tech devices than with each other.   Writer KJ Dell’Antonia, former editor of the New York Times Motherlode blog, wanted to find out what had happened to happiness and what it would take for parents to find the joy they longed for. As she explains in her lively discussion with Marti & Erin on how to be a happier parent, KJ learned that joy comes with small changes – not by doing more, but by doing things differently. And she learned that when parents are happier, kids are too!   WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO BE A HAPPIER PARENT? When are you happiest in your life as a parent? When are you least happy – and maybe sad, angry or resentful? What small changes could you make in your daily life to try to create more genuine happiness for you and your children?   WANT TO LEARN MORE? ❉ KJ Dell-Antonia's Blog: Check out Dell'Antonia's book reviews & recommendations ❉ When Parents Disagree about the Best Way to Raise Their Children tip sheet by Marti Erickson ❉ Encouragement: The Power Tool of Parenting tip sheet from St. David’s Center ❉ Loosening the Reins When Children Become Teens and Young Adults tip sheet by Marti Erickson ❉ Recognizing & Managing Parental Stress tip sheet from St. David’s Center

MADNESS! We don’t know how, but somehow this went live without audio at midnight. So here it is again for you subscribers, with —the actual podcast episode. We don’t have a lot of repeat guests, but Seth Godin can come on the podcast any time he wants. Seth is a fountain of wisdom about writing, pitching, selling, and building your audience, and his new book, The Practice: Shipping Creative Work, is a great addition to his (substantial) body of work. Seth Godin is not only the master of the short pithy book of helpful advice, he’s the master of dishing out that advice straight from his brain to yours, as well. He does not have to stop and re-frame. He does not meander about his point. Not one bit. He’s a fountain of quick sentences that wallop you upside the head with their truth and clarity and demand to be written down. Here are just a few from this interview, which you won’t want to miss: “Process saves us from the poverty of our intentions"“There is never enough reassurance from outsiders” “Don’t let your audience expect another greatest hits album every time”“Be the boss of the process”“Creativity is an act of leadership”Jess, Sarina and Seth talked about getting the work out there to your readers. That’s it. Shipping the work. Sure, we also talked about how it gets done because we always do (and Seth reveals Isaac Asimov’s advice for getting 400 books written) but in the end, the work has to end up with your readers. We did not talk books this week because we were on a tight schedule and Seth had so much wisdom to share, we skipped it. However, Seth recommended the documentary Double Take about the sculptor Elizabeth King, who is quoted in The Practice: “Process saves us from the poverty of our intentions.”Find more about Jess here, Sarina here and about KJ here and don’t forget our sponsors and partners, Author Accelerator’s Book Coach training at bookcoaches.com/amwriting and DabbleWritingSoftware. They’re hand-picked because we LIKE them. So check them out.Finally—KJ here—Obviously, with The Chicken Sisters coming out in December, book marketing has been on my mind.One thing I learned in the last go-round when How to Be a Happier Parent came out is that it’s a bad idea to do it alone. There’s no way I could have done the whole launch by myself and you know, still had all my faculties intact.One piece of help I got was taking a course called How to Launch a Bestseller from Tim Grahl, a book marketing phenom who’s had dozens of clients on the bestseller list. He pushes my buttons a little—because no matter what anyone says, you CANNOT make a bestseller yourself and to believe you can is to set yourself up for failure—but his advice is solid.Another piece of help I got was from Sue Campbell, a book launch coach who helped me execute some of the monster-sized launch plan I put together based on Tim’s course. We had fun together and did some really fun things, like a quiz (find your parenting mantra).Sue was actually personally trained by Tim and now she’s launching a really cool thing.It’s a monthly membership that will give authors the resources they need to build an audience and the opportunity to pick Sue’s brain on a weekly basis. Basically, Sue’s the perfect person to help you set and reach your goals for your author career.Membership in the club includes:Direct access to Sue Campbell, Book Launch Certified Coach and her team at Pages & Platforms team at a fraction of the cost to hire them privately.Mindset coaching to help you break through your marketing block and find your “clean selling” approach.Help with goal setting and attainment.Specialized coaching and workshops to get the knowledge and skills you need to market well and avoid wasting time and money.24/7 access to a community of fellow authors.Access to special expert guests from time to time, including Tim Grahl.Another big benefit: this club is a flexible way to get marketing help when you need it. There’s no long-term commitment. And she’s offering a free-month trial right now. There are live calls every Friday at 1 p.m. Pacific time/4 p.m. Eastern.I know for myself, having a community of like-minded people helps me make huge progress. (Heck, that’s what the #amwriting podcast and Facebook group is all about!)I highly recommend you give Sue’s Your Next 9000 Copies club a try. I’ll be there too. And this is, as you’ve probably guessed, an affiliate link for the #AmWritingPodcast, so use it and you support us too. But I wouldn’t recommend Sue if I didn’t believe in her. This is a public episode. Get access to private episodes at amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

FYI: THIS WAS TAPED BEFORE COVID19 or I would have asked her about parenting during this time. You're not a bad parent if you sometimes yell. It happens. The key is not getting carried away or falling into a pattern of shouting at your kids. When your kid is having a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store, or has disobeyed you for the fifth time that day, it can take everything in your will to keep yourself from having your own meltdown. You're not a bad parent if you sometimes yell. It happens. The key is not getting carried away or falling into a pattern of shouting at your kids. Carla Naumburg, PhD, author of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids: A Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent, found her own way to calm after realizing there had to be a better way. In his episode, she joins Lisa to discuss the book, as well as offer these tips: Know your triggers by understanding what sets you off. Make buttons as push-proof as possible by getting enough sleep, single-tasking, accepting support, and not beating yourself up. Do literally anything else when on the brink of explosion. It could be the classic three deep breaths, but it could also be playing a little air guitar -- anything that redirects. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Write every day. Don’t read fiction while you’re writing fiction. My way or the highway. In a burst of frustration, we’re reminding ourselves—and you—that there’s no one way to get this job done, and if your way is counter to what some of the greats might tell you (we’re looking at you, Stephen King, even though we love you), that doesn’t mean it won’t work.A few links from the episode:Minisode: #AmQuerying: How to write a fiction query letter that makes an agent ask for moreBecca Syme: https://betterfasteracademy.com/beccasyme/#AmReadingSarina: Notes of Silencing by Lacy CrawfordJess: Unacceptable by Melissa Korn & Jennifer LevitzUnspeakable Acts by Sarah WeinmanKJ: Big Summer by Jennifer WeinerThe Vanishing Half by Brit BennettOur amazing sponsors: Dabble Writing Software, which I can’t wait to use to line up all my scenes and plot points AS SOON AS I START FIGURING OUT WHAT THEY ARE and which you should absolutely try.And Author Accelerator. Jennie Nash is doing a Facebook Live coaching of a memoir outline on August 14, 2020—that’s next week. I can’t wait, I love watching her do these. Sign up here, or just go learn more!KJ Dell'Antonia 0:00 Writers, KJ here. Have you heard me talk about Dabble yet? I mean really listened. Dabble writing software is our new sponsor, and we love them. Sarina and I can't stop playing with the outline piece of it, which is every bit as flexible as a bunch of post it notes on your desk and a whole lot more portable. You can track everything that belongs within a scene, how that scene fits into multiple plot lines, and where that scene belongs in the book. And you can move it with the flick of a mouse. It's honestly a little too much fun. We don't want to encourage you to procrastinate, but getting your storyline right isn't procrastination. It's part of the work. So try out Dabble and let us know if it helps you get your work done by downloading a free trial at dabblewriter.com. Is it recording?Jess Lahey 0:50 Now it's recording.KJ Dell'Antonia 0:52 This is the part where I stare blankly at the microphone and try to remember what I'm supposed to be doing. Jess Lahey 0:56 Alright, let's start over.KJ Dell'Antonia 0:58 Awkward pause. I'm going to rustle some papers. Okay. Now one, two, three. Hey, I'm KJ Dell'Antonia and this is #AmWriting. The podcast about writing all the things, fiction, nonfiction, short pieces, long pieces, entire books, be they small or long, pitches, proposals, and as I say every week, this is the podcast about sitting down and getting your work done or not, but trying. I am, as I've previously stated, KJ Dell'Antonia. I am the author of the novel The Chicken Sisters, which will be out in December of this year, which is 2020. I'm the former editor of the Motherlode blog at the New York Times where I still sometimes contribute and the author of How to Be a Happier Parent, which is out in paperback and available everywhere now. And I'm Jess Lahey, the author of The Gift of Failure. And I have a new book coming out in April. I just finished the galley edits so it feels real, called The Addiction Inoculation. And you can find my work right about now when this thing comes out in the Washington Post, but I write for lots of different places.Sarina Bowen 2:19 And I'm Sarina Bowen. I'm the author of 35 romance novels. And you can always find more of me at Amazon Apple books and everywhere romances are sold.So today's topic is kind of about keeping your head in the game.Jess Lahey 3:06 It absolutely is. I'm optimistic. I'm going to go with the it is about keeping your head in the game. What is our topic for today, Sarina?Sarina Bowen 3:14 It's myths about writing. All the things that we have absorbed over the years that may or may not be true. And myths come from a place of cultural reference. So these myths aren't out of left field, but we still want to examine them just to make sure we're taking the right advice.Jess Lahey 3:36 Well, I think it's important to do that because some of these myths come from people. I mean, heck, if we took our oft cited David Sedaris advice about never, ever asking for anything, and that became sort of the way that writers were supposed to do things, then not a lot of writers would get stuff done. It happens to have worked beautifully for him. There are a couple of other authors that I'm going to cite while we're talking about some of these, and it can become the word of the writers. And it's not necessarily so because writing is different for different people.Well, I think in particular, there is one myth that we really want to blow up today for all of our sakes. And that myth is the 'you must write every day'. Am I right?It can be a goal.And you know, I think we often make it sound like we do write every day. And we often do write every day. But I think what we don't talk about is that it is seasonal and cyclical. And that writing can sometimes mean other things.Sarina Bowen 4:45 So I came up with the idea of myths, I mean, it entered my brain this weekend when I was listening to a talk by a writing coach named Becca Syme. And she was speaking at an event called Inkers Con that I was enjoying listening to. And she does some myth busting in hers but what she got to was that you have to examine the premise of these myths, like what premise are we accepting if we go along with it and KJ just said writers write every day and I would say that there's an even deeper premise to that one which is writers right because they must, and this one always makes me roll my eyes. Because I am definitely a writer. You know, my whole career is set up around this, but I have never once looked in the mirror and said, I'm a writer because I must, it's a compulsion for me. It's not it's actually my job and some days I just don't feel like doing it.Jess Lahey 5:55 I think that for me, it's how I best express myself. I mean, I always would rather express myself in the written word than trying to explain something to someone orally. And that's just my preference for how I tend to make the best contribution. Do I have to write? In fact, if someone said I couldn't write for the rest of my life, I think I could be okay. I think I'd be fine. I may not be as well understood, but I think I would be fine. I'd have to make more phone calls. Oh my gosh, that would be the worst.Sarina Bowen 6:33 You know, Jess, you just reminded me of that thing that happens at the very end of Spinal Tap the rockumentary. At the very end, when the credits are rolling, they asked each band member in turn, like, 'If you couldn't have rock and roll, how would you go on?' And the first one says something like, 'Well, but I'd still have the sex and drugs.' And then the last one is like, "Well, I could work in a shop.'Jess Lahey 7:19 But yeah, I think that the whole I have to write or I will perish is along the lines of I couldn't live without you because I just don't think those are healthy ways to think about the world, but that's just me.KJ Dell'Antonia 7:33 And you know, it is true that there are easier ways to make a living. So, you know, you probably aren't doing this unless you want to do it, but I feel like have to is awfully strong. So the you have to write every day...Stephen King, every day including Christmas, right? Or whatever your holiday of choice is, just every day, sit down every day. When I am working on something, I do write every day, generally including weekends. Sometimes I can't. Sometimes you're spending 12 hours taking a hike with your family. I guess what I'm trying to say is just you don't have to. It is possible to stop for a week or a couple of weeks, or I have somebody that I was reading said in between every book they spend like a month just gardening. I don't remember who it was. But yeah, when you're in the midst of something, writing everyday is a good way to keep your hand in, and make sure that you know where to start, and that you're still going, and that it's going fine. And especially if you have deadlines or goals. But when you're in between things, like I just turned in a manuscript and I don't know what's gonna happen with that manuscript, but because someone else has it, it's pencils down for me. And I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do next. But if I was writing 1000 words a day without knowing what I was going to do next, that would not be pretty.Jess Lahey 9:59 I have to second your thing about writing every day when you're working on something because if I don't write every day when I'm working on something, I number one get lost. Like, I can't find where my brain was when and then it takes me like two hours to sort of get back into it. But I also feel like it gets stale for me a little bit. So when I'm working on something, I absolutely have to work on it every day. Sorry, Sarina, what were you gonna say?Sarina Bowen 10:26 I was just gonna go one step worse than that, which is I get afraid of my own project.Jess Lahey 10:31 Really? Interesting.Sarina Bowen 10:33 Yeah, I develop a fear about it. That I won't like it as much when I go back and I won't want to continue. It's just a fear of the unknown.Jess Lahey 10:44 It varies for me. There are times when even in mid-massive draft, serious know what I'm doing, have it all, sometimes you have to drive someone somewhere that's 12 hours away. But sometimes I make it an affirmative decision to just be like not today, this day gets a cross. And I love those days.KJ Dell'Antonia 11:37 And that's okay, too.Jess Lahey 11:41 The week after I finished my manuscript and I went on vacation with my husband and my in-laws, it was so nice to say I am not writing this entire week and that can be incredibly freeing. And as it turns out, my brain had the space to think about other things and to sort of muse on other topics. And it was really, interestingly, a very productive week for me from a brain standpoint, but not at all from a writing standpoint, it was just so freeing.But even mid project, sometimes there's just a day when you either can't or choose not to. And I don't find that that stalls me at all, it's fine. You know, that maybe shouldn't be every other day. But yeah, you don't have to write every day. So cross that one off.I can relate to what Sarina said about getting afraid of things. Because I'm sure you've had this moment where you get that email about edits that need to be done and it feels so massive and unwieldy until you actually start and get into the document. And for me, my work always feels manageable when I'm in it, and it's only when I stop being in it that it starts to feel like something I can't even start. So for me it's a bit of self preservation to stay as in it as possible. Otherwise it gets out of my arms and it starts to feel like just something that's way too big. So it's definitely something I have to do for my own, just moving forward kind of thing. Sarina Bowen 13:11 Okay, KJ, what else you got in the myth box?Jess Lahey 13:14 Oh, well, my current favorite myth is you shouldn't read anything similar to what you're working on while you're working on it. When I was just getting started as a writer, I tried to follow that but it's just not what I have found to be true. First of all, whether I'm writing fiction or nonfiction, I find that reading things in the genre or something similar, it's not like I'm suddenly going to rewrite The Bromance Book Club by accident. I feel like it's helpful, because it can be very freeing to be reading along and see what another author has done. Or how they've transitioned, or to realize that, gosh, I really enjoyed that book. And I feel like the character's mother was a total force and presence, but I go back through and I count and she only appeared on the page four times. That's amazing. So I can do that. And sometimes if I'm stuck. I'll go and find the book where I know that an author has done something that I'm trying to do really, really well and either just reread it for inspiration or actually tear it apart. What do they do? What did they do here? What did they do there? Yes, dissection, our favorite thing. So I totally read in my genre when I'm writing. Regardless of what I'm writing.Sarina Bowen 14:56 I tend not to, but also I work in a very tight corner of genre fiction. And so even though I might be reading a romance while I'm writing a romance, I like to work out of genre in my reading because I feel like I find the parallels more available to me there.Jess Lahey 15:18 But you're still reading. I mean, a lot of people say, 'Well, when I'm writing fiction, I'm not reading fiction.' And I'm like, Whoa, that's big. And I've actually heard people say that, like that's a really big chunk to let go of.Sarina Bowen 15:35 Right. Sometimes when I do read really tightly in my own genre, when I'm writing it makes the possibilities feel smaller, not larger, because I can see all the ways that we're all fishing in the same pond. Like they become more obvious to me even if the book isn't similar at all.Jess Lahey 15:54 Well, and sometimes I just feel like you know, if I rewrite someone that has really knocked it out of the Sometimes it's just like, oh, that's the only possible way to do that. And now I feel small and lost. And as though I will never come up with anything as brilliant as that particular logline, or plot twist, or whatever. So there's that, but I'm not going to stop reading because of it. I think I've said in the past that for nonfiction when I need a real hit of a voice that if I'm feeling a little bit not on top of my game, or I'm not feeling like an expert, if I go to a book where the expert voice is really, really strong it's kind of like it's like a rah-rah-rah kind of thing. It's like watching you know, a master musician right before you need to go on stage and be a master musician yourself. It's that sort of feeling of Okay, I can emulate that. It's sort of a fake it till you make it kind of thing. If I get this boost, then I can sort of feel like I'm ready and up to the task. So that for me is an important part. It's not that I'm reading the whole book, it's that I'm dipping in for that expert voice, which is good for me.Yeah. And sometimes let's say I'm sitting here thinking, Okay, I've got my person I know who I'm gonna write this next book about, and I kind of know what they want and where it's going to be. But I need to figure out what makes them act, like I need an inciting incident (as I think the story grid people would say) I need a thing, I need what makes them mad, I will think back to like the last four or five books that I read and liked and think well what pushed that roller coaster off onto the ride. And it's not that I am now going to be like, I know, his wife left him, because my character is not a man and isn't married. It's just a way to sort of remind yourself of some of the things that move characters in books that you love. And hopefully help inspire some ideas. Honestly that one I'm still kind of struggling with...Sarina Bowen 18:09 I saw a brilliant tweet that was kind of on this topic. It's a tweet by Rachel Hawkins who is a lovely YA writer and she tweeted this out on July 17. And I loved it so much she says, 'Me writing books, man I hope this is not stupid. Me reading books/watching TV/consuming basically any media. This is so stupid. I love it so much. Oh, I have room in my heart for the stupidest of things. Thank you.' I hope I've done it justice. But she did such a great little play act there of the different ways we hold ourselves accountable of our own work versus reading that thing that you are enjoying so much or that inspires you.Jess Lahey 18:58 Right and sometimes just realizing how goofy the inciting incident, or the resolution, or the reason that someone was doing something was, and yet why you sort of went right along with it happily, that's super helpful.I've said it once and I'll say it again, some of my favorite writing is my favorite because you can tell that the author is really loving the writing. And Sarina, some of my favorite stuff that you have written is stuff where I can just feel that you're having a good time while you're writing it. So I think that's an important part of it. So yeah, I love that idea of not holding ourselves to impossible standards. What else do we have?Well, I know we wanted to talk - today, I set my timer with the idea that I was going to spend 55 minutes noodling around on the plot of what I hope will be the next thing I'm writing and I've got several pages of assorted noodling. But the way that I get myself to the point of noodling is I'll stack up like a couple of plot books near me and maybe even pick one up and read a little of it because as I'm reading it I'm saying, Okay, if you're not really punishing the character, then nobody's gonna stick with you. I'll find my brain going, Okay, how am I going to punish my person? Like how's this gonna go badly once they make this choice and that kind of thing. So they fire me up. How's this for a myth? Plotting books are for amateurs. I don't know that that's a myth, but I think it's a feeling that we have. Like if I can't do it without resorting to looking at Save the Cat Writes a Novel then I shouldn't be doing it at all. In which case I shouldn't be doing it at all.Sarina Bowen 21:07 Yeah, we're able to give that myth a pass, aren't we? Jess Lahey 21:12 I think so. KJ Dell'Antonia 21:12 Yes. I love sitting down with a good book that tears up the hero's journey and tells you exactly what the twisty points are and what what the required elements are. And fine do them, don't do them, whatever. But using that map can be so great. So that's the myth. That if you use a map like that, you're gonna produce formulaic fiction. Jess Lahey 21:41 But you're hitting on something really important, though. Is that if you're talking about hero's journey, what you're talking about then is that some of that's happening anyway on a really subconscious level. So I think one of the things - there's this tension between it should just happen and that vision of Stephen King going down to his mental basement and channeling the magic satellite. And he talks about I don't know where the book's going because if I'm surprised by my own story, then the reader will be surprised. But I know for a fact that I have no mental basement where I'm going to go where the people in the basement are going to allow me to channel a book and that it's going to be well plotted and it's going to be well executed. And that just isn't a thing for me. And I think that comes from a place of yearning, because wouldn't it be a) super fun and b) wouldn't it be just so fantastic to be such a natural at storytelling that you just have to quiet your mind and go to your basement place and suddenly you're able to channel books and not that it's that easy for him, but that there's that myth that it should be that easy. And I think that's what gets us in trouble.Sarina Bowen 22:57 So the premise there is that novelists are born and not made. And that is such a dangerous premise because many of the people who grow up loving books so much and read them incessantly, just have never had a minute to analyze and dissect the manipulation that a good novelist is creating on the page. And, you know, the idea that we wouldn't ever have to read a book about that is dangerous.KJ Dell'Antonia 23:32 Yeah. I mean, personally, if I sit down and just grab a couple of characters and start writing, you know, will it be decent writing? Yes. Will it be entertaining? Yes, for about a page or maybe two. But, you know, without some idea of what their problem is and what they're going to do to fix it and how it's going to go wrong. I'll just write a conversation for a really, really, really embarrassingly long time.Sarina Bowen 24:11 I mentioned earlier that I had listened to this talk by Becca Syme and she had hit all these myths. And one of the ones that she gave really spoke to me because on the face of it, it's not a myth at all. And this was the one she said, You can't edit a blank page. And at first, I was like, hang on, you really actually can't. But what she meant was that not everybody assembles their plot in the same way. You know, some people really need to think for a nice long time before they're ready to write. And I think I am one of those people. Jess Lahey 25:03 I'm one of those people definitely.KJ Dell'Antonia 25:05 We were talking about that when we were walking the other day that, you know, you and I are both trying to develop a new plot. Basically, we're both noodling around. And whether that's scribbles and paper or just sort of mental scribbles, we are editing that, in some sense to find who we're going to write about and what's going to happen to them and what they're going to want without having actual words. So, you can't stick commas onto a blank page, or at least not with any degree of productivity, but you can edit your mental vision of where you're going. Or your scribbled notebook vision of where you're going. Jess Lahey 25:51 Isn't that really what I'm doing? I'm still trying to finish my Author Accelerator Inside Outline for this novel idea that I have and isn't that just sort of front loaded editing because I'm saying, oh, this doesn't actually move anything along. And especially since Jennie forces you to be so concise with your Inside Outline, it forces you to say, what is this actually adding to the book. And later on, if I want to have a whole entire chapter about them sitting talking about food for an entire chapter, I can stick that in later if I want, but at least at the beginning, I'm not wasting a lot of time by adding something that I think I need that will end up having no place in the book.KJ Dell'Antonia 26:30 Right. You can write different ways, like some people would rather write it all and sort of figure out where it's going that way. But you can edit your mental page, I guess is what we're arguing here.Jess Lahey 26:50 Well, Sarina has talked extensively about her efficiency and the outlining and how those two things are linked. Sarina Bowen 26:58 I'm starting to figure out that outlining for me isn't quite as simple as I had thought that it was, and that there are productive kinds of outlining for me and non productive ones. So that's what I've been chewing on and why that you can't edit a blank page thing really spoke to me.KJ Dell'Antonia 27:17 I find I do a fair amount of scribbling in the notebook that I never go back to. Jess Lahey 27:23 Yeah, I do that, too. KJ Dell'Antonia 27:34 I write it down now sort of knowing that I will probably never go back and look at it. But there's something about putting it in ink on that piece of paper that I don't know locks it in for me.Sarina Bowen 27:47 I do that too all the time. There's just a certain number of rocks I have to turn over until I find the thing I'm looking for.KJ Dell'Antonia 27:54 That is a good way to put it.Jess Lahey 27:56 I think that gets back to where we were in the beginning, which is I think best in the written word on the page. And it isn't until I sit down and start writing those things that I actually get to the bottom of what's silly, stupid, works, doesn't work. I can think about it all I want, but I'm not going to know if that thing whether that's in an essay, or a nonfiction book, or a fiction book, whether it's going to work in the end until it's actually down on the page and I can look at it.KJ Dell'Antonia 28:22 Yes. So here's the thing. 800 word essay, I think well while I'm writing it. I can do that, because even if I write 1600 words, and then have to figure that out, that's fine. 90,000 word book, not a good plan. For me. I think maybe I could get to a point where it might work because I have written more books. But right now, not an efficient use of my time. Yeah, I was just telling you guys that I have a big feature coming out and the outline at one point was longer than the word count for the feature. But it was a very useful exercise because we had to go through that process to figure out what was going to end up at the end. And we couldn't have done that without outlining first.Jess Lahey 29:14 We've had some really good ones. And I think with all the myth stuff, it's just reassuring to know that there aren't a lot of wrong ways to do this writing thing. I mean, if words are getting down on the page, and it's fulfilling to you and you're feeling good about what's happening, I don't care if some other writer says you're doing it wrong. I very specifically had a writer, look me in the eye and tell me I was doing something absolutely wrong. And it was the most crap advice I've ever gotten on writing, but realizing that was actually really helpful to me because I went, oh. And even the fact that I now look at this author that I really respected and see that she might be wrong about this, that demystifies the process for me a little bit and I think I'm gonna be okay. So I love when we can bust some myths up.Sarina Bowen 30:05 Yeah, we're busting them. I would say just that the overarching theme here is examine your own premise like if you look at your process like it's a changeable, mutable thing, then it's a very productive way to try to examine your process. Everybody wants to go faster. Everybody wants to write better work than they did last week. And looking at your process and what other people think about it from a couple paces back is usually a pretty helpful thing.Jess Lahey 30:40 Absolutely. KJ Dell'Antonia 30:42 You know, and maybe that this has been a huge multi-month endeavor in recognizing that the rituals that we maybe once had and the places that we like to write, and the ways that we like to do things were not available to us anymore, especially if you were in coffee shops, or you like to say to write in a room that did not contain multiple children and partners who were trying to ask you questions about why there is no food in the refrigerator. You know, we don't have that anymore, or maybe we need to find a way to find it. All three of us have lately been sort of wandering around going, oh, I can't, I just can't. And I guess busting the myths is kind of a way to try to find our way to say, okay, I can't do that, but maybe I can spend half an hour trying to figure out what my plotting book is that I would like to read and then actually sit down and read it and hopefully do a little. So now that we're done for the moment with our mythbusting, let's move on to what we're reading after a short break. Listeners, you know we're about to get into what we've been reading. And we've been reading some good stuff. But have you ever thought about how those books get so good? Or maybe thought you could be a part of making an author's novel, memoir, or nonfiction as good as it could possibly be, and get paid for the work? Author Accelerator has a book coach training program that students described as truly life changing. They dig into the mechanics, process, and emotion of coaching, but they don't stop there. Their program also helps you turn coaching into a profitable business that fits into your life. Find out more at authoraccelerator.com.Jess Lahey 32:54 Okay, people what have we been reading? If we haven't been writing as much let's hope some of us have been reading some things, I know I have.Sarina Bowen 33:01 I did I read a memoir like a grown up. And it was the terrific memoir that Jess mentioned on another episode, which is Notes on a Silencing by Lacey Crawford. It was terrific. And I want to shake everyone from her teenage years. And tell them what for. I had my typical reaction to memoir, which is always my frustration that people's early lives don't have a perfect narrative arc, like some of my favorite fiction. She did an amazing job, it's such a good book. And I enjoyed reading it very much, but it's always jarring to me. And also I had another typical memoir thought, which is how do people remember things from when they're 15? And she and I are just about the same age. She's a couple years younger than I am. So I guess we'll go with that. But finally, relating to today's discussion, there were just some things about her experience and the difficult traumatic experience that she had to process that I feel like made me a better fiction writer. And I feel more competent at tackling maybe darker backstories just having Lacey Crawford make me think about that kind of trauma in one's youth. So I enjoyed it very much.Jess Lahey 34:40 Oh, good. I loved it. I absolutely loved it. I thought she did a spectacular job. KJ, what have you been reading? KJ Dell'Antonia 34:48 Oh, so I actually was able to go and sit by a pool by a beach last week. It was amazing and miraculous and made me feel as though the world was normal. In the process, I read two books. One of the things I read was total classic, perfect beach read even has the name. It was Jen Weiner's Big Summer. It is extremely fun. It is a taco of a book that is delicious, and fun, and wonderful, and amazing to eat, and yet has some substance to it. It was great. Amusingly, because she is Jen Weiner, it is of course marketed, and covered, and titled as though it is women's commercial fiction. It is absolutely 100% murder mystery. I don't think that's a spoiler because if you read the whole flap copy, you at least figure out that there's something along those lines going on. This is like right down to the set of amateur detectives drawing out clues on a blackboard classic, every I dotted, every t crossed, mystery, super fun, super well done, and with all the wonderful themes of women's fiction that she usually has. And yet it also has this mystery, which is really fun and entertaining. And it's also just amusing that when you've got multiple best selling commercial women's fiction books, you can write whatever you want and call it commercial women's fictions. And I love that and support it. Go Jen. So that was one of them. And the other is The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett. So I go on my vacation. I read about the first half of The Vanishing Half, it is amazing is wonderful, but it's also the kind of book that when you are reading it, you do not wish for anyone to poke you and ask for sunscreen. You're deep in it and it's kind of a grumpy book in some ways. And it is really, really good. This one's the story of two twins who started out in 1950's Louisiana. They're black girls, they run away from home. One of them decides to pass as white, the other does not, and it comes forward, not the present, into like the 70's and 80's. But in a really amazing, and fascinating, and wonderful way. I loved it was really good. Excellent one, well worth your hardcover dollars.Jess Lahey 38:12 Excellent. I've been reading some really good stuff too and now I'm excited I have two more books to read. I listened to Unacceptable by Melissa Korn and Jennifer Levitz. Melissa Korn is at the New York Times, Jennifer Levitz is at the Wall Street Journal and this is the story of the Varsity Blues college admissions scandal case. And it is so good. The level of reporting is incredible. They do an incredible job; they read everything, all the details are there. She does all the characterizations really well. So it's not just some extra bits that could have been added on to the articles you've already read. This is a really deep dive into how the whole thing came together and it's beautifully done. I can't recommend it highly enough, especially if you like that sort of thing. You know, procedural, but also juicy, all kinds of stuff. And then I also picked up a book - I follow Sarah Weinman on Twitter and I saw that she was talking about a new collection she has called Unspeakable Acts. And it's a collection of true crime. She writes a lot about true crime. She has a blog about it. It's sort of like that best American Crime Stories that used to be published, but she was the editor of this really lovely collection and there's some really good stuff in there. There's something by Pamela Koloff and a couple of other writers that I just really love. So I happen to really like the true crime genre and these are nice sort of bites of true crime and beautifully written stuff it's a definitely a best of so I'm way into it. So Unspeakable Acts and Unacceptable are my two books, both huge thumbs up. One quick thing, if you are going to have people narrate a book in which (and this has nothing to do with the books I'm recommending) if you're going to have people narrate a book in which there are foreign accents, even just if they're British accents, especially if they're British accents, please get a narrator that can do the accents. I just had to return two books over the past two weeks that I couldn't listen to because the accents are so bad. So that's my rant for the day. KJ Dell'Antonia 41:18 Before we sign off, let me point out that some of the conversation that we talked about today, started with me shouting about not being able to figure out what plotting book I was looking for on our Facebook page, which is, of course, AmWriting on Facebook. And if you're not in our Facebook group, you should absolutely join it. We have a good time. There's a lot of people gathering up writing partners and creating accountability groups and asking questions, and it's friendly and fun, and lovable so you should do it.Jess Lahey 41:51 So that's really fun. In fact, recently we had someone finally admit that they've been lurking but they were inspired by all the people who posted there. And so guess what? They got a book deal. I mean, it's just the coolest, coolest place. I love it.KJ Dell'Antonia 42:05 Yeah, that was awesome. And secondly, if you want to get the show notes for this podcast and every podcast, please sign up to get our emails by going to amwritingpodcast.com. You can sign up for the free show notes or you can sign up to support the show. And if you support the show, then every week you will get either a writer top five, or a mini episode that drops right into your pod player. The mini episode from last week as you listen to this, which for me is still in the future is going to be me talking about great fiction query letters. So if you're interested in that, you'll want to hop over and give us a little support. But even if you're not we'd love to have you on the email list to get the show notes because then you always get the links to the books that we've talked about and everything else.Jess Lahey 42:57 Alright. Perfect. That was Beautiful. Until next week everyone, keep your butt in the chair and your head in the game. This episode of #AmWriting with Jess and KJ was produced by Andrew Parilla. Our music, aptly titled unemployed Monday was written and performed by Max Cohen. Andrew and Max were paid for their services because everyone, even creatives should be paid. This is a public episode. Get access to private episodes at amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

KJ Dell’Antonia is the author of the viral New York Times essay Why I Didn’t Answer Your Email, the former editor of the Times’ Motherlode blog, the co-host of the #AmWriting podcast and the author of the book How to Be a Happier Parent. Her debut novel, The Chicken Sisters, is a timely, humorous exploration of the same themes she focuses on in her journalism: the importance of finding joy in our families, the challenge of figuring out what makes us happy and the need to value the people in front of us more than the ones in our phones and laptops, every single time.How Do You Write Podcast: Explore the processes of working writers with bestselling author Rachael Herron. Want tips on how to write the book you long to finish? Here you'll gain insight from other writers on how to get in the chair, tricks to stay in it, and inspiration to get your own words flowing. Join Rachael's Slack channel, Onward Writers. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ever lose it with your kids? Or feel like you're ALWAYS losing it with your kids? This week's guest, Carla Naumburg, PhD, LICSW, knows just how you feel. She's a clinical social worker, a mother of two, and author of three books, including her bestseller, https://www.amazon.com/How-Stop-Losing-Your-Kids/dp/1523505427 (How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids: A Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent) and what she learned on her parenting journey about how to yell less and enjoy more. Follow Carla: https://www.carlanaumburg.com (www.carlanaumburg.com) https://www.instagram.com/carlanaumburg/?hl=en (@carlanaumburg) Resources Discussed in this Episode: https://self-compassion.org (Mindful Self-Compassion) https://parentandteen.com (Resilience: Dr. Ken Ginsburg ) -- Our online parenting programs are HERE!! In need of some extra support with straight-talk, trustworthy, digestible information to level up your parenting? We've got you, mama! Covering four of the most difficult areas to navigate as a modern mom, these programs are geared toward helping moms overcome the cycle of overwhelm & burnout so they can get back to enjoying motherhood. 

You don't have to be a miserable parent? In this podcast: Betsy Kerekes joins us to talk about how to be a happier parent with tips and suggestions on how to infuse joy into your family and enjoy raising kids. https://parentingisfunny.wordpress.com https://www.osvcatholicbookstore.com/product/be-a-happier-parent-or-laugh-trying Buy on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2LWTD1M Check this out on YouTube Hear more interviews on Youtube: kyleheimann.com/youtube Subscribe to the (highlights) Podcast: Apple Podcasts | Android Podcast | Other Android Apps | Stitcher | RSS Podcast: www.kyleheimann.com Live: www.redeemerradio.com Email: show@redeemerradio.com follow us on social media: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube @KyleHeimannShow Call/Text: Holy Cross College Textline: 260-436-9598 Theme Song: -Custom music written by Shawn Williams (www.musicbyshawnwilliams.com) for The Kyle Heimann Show -Licensed via The Sound Cabin Inc. (www.thesoundcabin.com)

Cathy and Todd talk with Former New York Times reporter KJ Dell'Antonio about her book How to be a Happier Parent. They discuss some common issues that challenge parents, and explore how to decrease the stress and find more joy.

Cathy and Todd talk with Former New York Times reporter KJ Dell'Antonio about her book How to be a Happier Parent. They discuss some common issues that challenge parents, and explore how to decrease the stress and find more joy.

KJ Dell'Antonia—journalist and author of How to Be a Happier Parent: Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute—joins Offspring editor Michelle Woo to discuss how to make your family life less stressful and even (dare we say it) fun. But first, Alice gives staff writer and soon-to-be new parent Nick Douglas an important (note: not really important) parenting quiz. Finally, we've got a playlist of non-kid songs that your kids will love as much as you do. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Audrey Hepburn once said, “The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it's all that matters.”  That's great advice, but it's a little sparse on the "how-to" side. We would all love to be happy, but it's not always easy, especially when you're shouldering the responsibilities of a parent. Which is why I'm so excited to be speaking with my guest on the show today. K.J. Dell'Antonia is the author of How to Be a Happier Parent. A practical, thoroughly researched guide to bringing more joy into our everyday lives, not by doing more (please, no) but by doing things differently. This mother of four and former editor of The New York Times' Motherlode blog has some straightforward, effective advice for finding the joy in the otherwise chaotic experience of raising a family. Her book, How to Be a Happier Parent, is available from Penguin Random House Publishing or wherever you find great books.

Too often the everyday experience of being a parent feels like a race against a clock you didn't set. We frantically hurl ourselves through morning routine, drop-off, work, pick-ups, kids' activities, grocery shopping, dinner, housework and homework duty. My guest on this episode of the podcast asked herself what it would take for this whole thing to suck a little less so we can get more joy out of the life we've chosen with the children we love. I'm joined by esteemed parenting writer and editor, KJ Dell'Antonia, whose work you may know from the likes of Slate and the New York Times Motherlode blog. She's got a great new book out called How to Be a Happier Parent, realistically subtitled Raising a Family, Having a Life and Loving (Almost) Every Minute of It. Show Notes Love our work? Please check out our Patreon Campaign! Become a patron of the show for as little as $1 per month

We're noticing that parents, especially parents of young children, are unhappy.  We all desperately want to enjoy this time with our children, but it is easy to get bogged down in late night feedings, pre-school admissions, trying to get our kids to eat a vegetable, or worrying about our kids' addiction to Fortnite. We're tackling the issue head-on with former New York Times Motherlode Editor, KJ Dell'Antonia, as we talk about her new book, How to be a Happier Parent: Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute.

Have you ever wondered if you're doing it right, particularly when it comes to parenting? Have your good intentions to push your kids failed you? Have you reacted in an unflattering way when dealing with your kids' distractibility, stubbornness, or argumentativeness or have your children pointed out that your reactions of frustration and anger are very unbecoming of you? It turns out that just because you're a talented, successful, and good person doesn't mean that you will automatically be an effective parent. Everybody needs a little help in raising well-adjusted kids.On this episdoe my guest, Dr. Christine Carter, a sociologist and Senior Fellow at UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center and a very successful author of many books including “Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents” will address important issues including the connection between parenting and self-regulation, becoming less of a critic and more of a model, and how to raise well-adjusted kids.About Christine Carter, Ph.D.Christine Carter, Ph.D., is the author of best-selling books The Sweet Spot: How to Achieve More by Doing Less (2017) and Raising Happiness (2011). A sought-after keynote speaker and coach, Dr. Carter writes an award-winning blog, Brave Over Perfect. She is a sociologist and Senior Fellow at UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, where she draws on scientific research to help people lead their most meaningful, joyful, and authentic lives.BookThe Sweet Spot: How to Achieve More by Doing LessRaising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier ParentsResourcesDr. Christine Carter's Blog: www.braveoverperfect.comGreater Good Magazine: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/christine_carterGroup Coaching: http://www.braveoverperfect.com/group-coaching/Support the show (https://mailchi.mp/7c848462e96f/full-prefrontal-sign-up)

Special Guest: KJ Dell'Antonia Five years of editing the Motherlode column for the New York Times taught KJ Dell'Antonia this: family can be a source of joy, not stress. Her reporting and research on parental happiness led to her new forthcoming book, “How to Be a Happier Parent,” available in August, 2018. She writes regularly on the personal and policy aspects of parenthood for the New York Times and other publications, and sends out a weekly tiny letter on being a happier parent (even when she's not)— http://tinyurl.com/followkj which is in the shownotes of this podcast. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband, four children and assorted horses, chickens, dogs and cats. The post How to Be a Happier Parent with KJ Dell'Antonia appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.

Special Guest: KJ Dell'Antonia Five years of editing the Motherlode column for the New York Times taught KJ Dell'Antonia this: family can be a source of joy, not stress. Her reporting and research on parental happiness led to her new forthcoming book, “How to Be a Happier Parent,” available in August, 2018. She writes regularly on the personal and policy aspects of parenthood for the New York Times and other publications, and sends out a weekly tiny letter on being a happier parent (even when she's not)— http://tinyurl.com/followkj which is in the shownotes of this podcast. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband, four children and assorted horses, chickens, dogs and cats. The post How to Be a Happier Parent with KJ Dell'Antonia appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.